#10k. stop clenching your jaw and drink some water.

[badolmen]

WARNING 18+

19

[youwerenevermeanttofeelalone]

The Kind that Never Slows Down | Damian Wayne

✦ pairing — older!Damian Wayne x female!Plus Size Reader

✦ word count — 10k

✦ summary — Gotham is hit with a spell that changes your perception of Damian forever.

✦ warnings — nsfw, semi-public sex, non-con sex (not really but just to be safe), angst, language, light jealousy, light possessiveness, mentions of food, smut, unprotected sex (please don’t do this), consensual sex, vaginal sex, cunnilingus, fluff.

✦ author's note — this one should’ve been published a long time ago, but I just got around editing it. Hope you like it.

════════════════════════

The abandoned building smelled like piss and mold, the only light available entered through a broken window, and you were pretty sure you had heard rats roaming around.

But you didn’t care. Robin’s hands were all over you, plump lips sucking on your neck like his life depended on it as he pounded into you.

It wasn’t enough.

He had skipped foreplay on your insistence. You needed him more than anything, if he didn’t fuck you right there in that moment you wouldn’t be able to survive.

He grunted out of pleasure as you clenched around him, gripping your hips to ground himself as he picked up his already relentless pace.

It still wasn’t enough.

Having his cum down your thighs and marks over your neck from his kisses wasn’t enough either. Your body craved all of him, including his whining and abrasive words.

Noise outside prompted him to part from you completely. Both of you fixed yourselves as best as you could in silence, avoiding looking at the other.

You followed him outside with a sense of guilt hovering over you like a dark cloud. You felt like you had just gotten out of a trance after committing the worst of the crimes.

Nightwing stopped you by yelling, “Where were you? I looked for you two everywhere.”

“We were looking for you,” Robin lied smoothly.

Nightwing’s shoulders slumped as he nodded. “Well, Zatana undid the spell.”

Suddenly Damian’s urgent voice as he said he needed you made all the sense in the world. His need for you and your need for him had been magic-induced.

Of course it had been! You two were mere acquaintances who fought all the time for the most minimal things in the world or ignored the other to the point of making people around you uncomfortable. It was a surprise that you worked well together at night.

“A lust spell, right?”

“Well, no,” Nightwing chuckled. “According to her, the spell showed people what their heart desires the most.”

Robin stiffened beside you, and you felt every drop of blood drain from your face and fall to your feet.

“Did you hear a lot of people having sex?”

“Yeah,” you croaked. “Tons of them.”

The moment you got home, you ripped your suit off and walked into the shower. You washed his cum off you, scrubbing your body twice just to make sure.

Wishing the soap could erase the marks on your neck and the memory of the way he had moaned your name, you decided to take a pill to sleep.

You hadn’t needed one of those in months, but Damian was that special. Or annoying.

God, you hated him and his stupid ego. He would surely find funny the lengths you would have to go to put this in the past.

He loved being the center of attention as much as he hated you, that was why you always tried your best to avoid him. When you didn’t avoid him, he made weird faces at you and scoffed every time you laughed.

Turning the lamp off, you hoped for the best.

Meanwhile, Damian ignored Dick’s inquiries. Why did his brother care if he was extremely quiet or if he looked like he was about to explode?

Your scent was all over him, still bewitching him, overpowering his sweat and the smell of everybody around him.

Looking down at his hands, the gloved palms that had hours before gripped and traced as much of your body as your suit had allowed him to, Damian clenched his jaw.

How could he have been so stupid? There was no other reason for you to beg him to fuck you the way you had — magic! He fucking hated magic.

But Dick’s explanation... that was worse. More stupid. He hated it too. His brother had to be wrong.

It wouldn’t be the first time someone from his family was wrong regarding magic, and Zatanna while an expert had her own biases.

Besides, his heart could have been desiring to get off the most just like yours. The two of you were busy people after all.

“Did the spell show you anything, Dami?”

The prettiest face he had seen in his entire life. “A pet demon.”

He regretted the lie the moment he said it. Damian wished a lot of things could be different. His mother would be furious if she knew how sentimental he was becoming, if she found out how often he gave into wishful thinking.

For once, he wanted to be open. But as always something was stopping him. Sometimes he wondered if he had been born to be like that or if his grandfather had simply lied.

Leaving the cave the moment he was dismissed, he trotted upstairs almost praying Dick wouldn’t follow him.

He couldn’t stop replaying the way you clung to him, or the harshness of your kiss. It had felt real, and too perfect to be happening to him all at once.

But you hated him, everybody and their mother knew that.

════════════════════════

Barbara had never been subtle around you. There had never been a need for such a thing — she was like the older sister you never had, you two carried the other’s secrets and burdens.

Back when you met her, barely as a teen, she provided a safe place you only had ever dreamt of having. You vowed to give it all back; she deserved it.

“What’s up with the turtleneck?” She asked, unsubtly so with her bright eyes on your neck.

“I have a cold,” you feigned a rasp. Perhaps this secret wouldn’t be shared.

“Mmmh. Really?” She poured herself a cup of coffee. “Dick said Damian was feeling under the weather too.”

Yup. Definitely not sharing. It would be embarrassing. She had always had the theory that you were in love with Damian just because you complained about him on a weekly basis.

It was like she had never met him.

In a way, the theory was correct. But it lacked a lot of details — a spell had confirmed it from all things. It sounded ironic, quite suitable to your situation.

“Flu season, I guess.”

It was a bad lie. Everybody knew when flu season arrived because Tim started getting a stuffy nose and limiting his consumption of Red Bull in order to drink more water.

”Did the spell from the other night show you anything?”

You faked a cough, shaking your head. “I was busy on patrol.”

“I was too and I saw Dick.”

“That’s just wishful thinking, Babs. It’s cute, though.”

Her not seeing Dick would have surprised you. They had known each other for years, gone through so much together... most people wanted what they had.

“Is there a particular reason why you’re lying to me?”

You wrapped your fingers around your mug. The heat transferring from the ceramic to your palm reminded you of Damian’s breath on your lips.

Taking a gulp of coffee, you blinked rapidly. “You don’t think it’s cute?”

She rolled her eyes. “Everybody saw something. It’s how those spells work.”

“There must be something wrong with me.”

There really had to be something awfully wrong with you. Saying out loud that you wanted Damian more than anything in the world terrified you.

It was a normal thing. Not wanting him specifically, but wanting someone — everybody craved attention and love at some level, you just happened to crave Damian’s at every single one.

He was the problem, not you.

════════════════════════

Movie marathons weren’t something Damian really cared for, but they were better than hearing his father complain about minor things like if he had ruined a goon’s lungs or whatever.

Alfred called it bonding time which he supposed was a fair assessment. He found Tim’s taste in movies quite good, and now he didn’t get the urge to strangle his slightly older brother in his sleep.

His stepmother was there too. Selina had been the reason why Bruce shifted his ways, she urged him to either find a balance or stop adding people to the team.

Duke made him pass a bowl of popcorn to Tim who did the same to Stephanie. The bowl landed on Dick who was on the row behind them, just next to Jason.

Getting more comfortable on his seat, his eyes fell on the empty spot to Duke’s right. Cassandra used to sit there until one afternoon Duke couldn’t seem to shut up and she asked you to switch places. You always went with the things Duke said, sometimes even asked his opinion.

Damian complained once, telling his sister to suck it up next time. But Cassandra would never do something he told her to, that was perhaps why she was his favorite.

Everyone around him was in an amazing mood which he didn’t understand. Bruce had just tried to tell a joke, and Jason was mocking how dumb it was.

Selina laughed loudly, in that way people did when they felt genuinely happy. At least that was what he supposed; Damian wasn’t sure he had ever experienced happiness.

The sound of an approaching wheelchair made his ears perk up. Not a single pair of shoes could be heard against the floor. Fighting a frown, he turned to look at the door.

Barbara waved at all of them with a smile, maneuvering her wheelchair to sit next to Dick’s seat. Craning his neck with the excuse of saying hi, Damian watched her give Dick a chaste kiss.

“Where’s (Nickname)?” Dick asked, lifting his arm to rest it on the back of Barbara’s chair.

“She said she was feeling sick. Although...” Barbara giggled, leaning onto Dick’s arm. “I heard the voice of a guy in the background so she might have company.”

Damian felt sick upon hearing such a thing. First, you had asked to be paired up with Duke for patrol and now this? It was too much even for your pettiness — granted, he had planned on putting more distance between you two, but he hadn’t gone around trying to find someone to erase you.

The thought never crossed him, not for a single moment. He had wondered why he wished to cling to a memory when he had never been the sentimental type, but he realized that to be the entire point of deep desires.

“Well, it’s time,” Stephanie commented, “she’s been single for too long.”

“Let’s hope we don’t have to scare him off,” Selina added.

Damian stood up from the now uncomfortable seat, forcing Duke to do the same so he could leave. Duke stared at him weirdly, with worry, as if he knew something Damian didn’t want him to.

He probably did. Damian had been careless two times in a row. God, he needed to get a fucking grip. Unconsciously, he fiddled with the neck of his sweater.

“Oi,” Jason called for him, “where are you going?”

“Out,” he answered angrily. “If other... members... may skip this, why can’t I?”

Barbara and Dick shared a sideways glance.

Only telling Alfred that he would be back later, Damian followed the path towards the garage. Skipping his bike for once, finding himself thinking he wanted to take as little shortcuts as possible for whatever reason, he took his car.

Damian had always been a fan of driving. He didn’t know why, it was tedious and didn’t serve many purposes in the grand scheme of things; not to him. Ever since he learned, he took every opportunity he got to drive whichever vehicle he could get his hands on.

Having control over vehicles and machines was nice, he supposed. If people were a little bit more like said things, everything would have been easier. The world would be boring, but easier to habit.

Saving people was easy, caring about them from afar gave him enough human interaction for his standards, but he would never understand them.

And for the first time since he tried to decode his mother’s attitude, he wanted to understand someone more than anything. Perhaps that way said someone would understand him back and untangle this mess.

The building before him wasn’t welcoming. He had never put foot into that place, but he knew every single person that lived there — patrol gave him that kind of knowledge. And he did some research months ago, but no one needed to be aware of such thing.

He pressed his ear to the door he had been looking for. The dishwasher was on, but he couldn’t pick up any other sound. Damian knocked on said door three times, quickly and loudly. There was no answer so he did it again. A door slammed shut inside the apartment, a groan accompanied by a string of curses got clearer as stomps approached him.

Standing tall and straight, he felt a thrill down his spine as the lock was loudly fiddled with.

You swung the door open, rubbing your eye. He observed you had thrown a turtleneck on, upside down. Damian walked past you without invitation, analyzing the living room.

There were no clothes scattered all over the floor like he had imagined he would find.

“What are you doing here?”

He ignored you, exploring the kitchen. Damian opened the fridge, narrowing his eyes as he inspected. He did the same with the cupboards.

Shoving your bedroom door open, he found the bed undone. The TV was on, playing an old movie. He heard your steps as you followed him, repeating your question.

“Is someone from the team in danger?” You asked next.

Damian pulled your closet open, tilting his head. You could’ve been more organized, he admitted to himself, but there was nothing unusual.

Craning his neck to look at you, he inquired, “Where is he?”

“Where’s who?! What’s going on?”

He stared at you, waiting for you to crack. To his surprise, you stared back — defiant, blinking less and less as the seconds passed.

You were mad, he could tell. It only made him grow more suspicious. Tensing under your eyes, sharp instead of soft like they usually were, he scoffed; he couldn’t show he cared.

“Dude,” you insisted, “you are scaring me. What happened?”

Shaking his head, he pushed past you again and continued his search. The bathroom was warm, the mirror fogged up and tiles sprinkled with drops of water.

He turned around, watching you again. Well, your hair was wet now that he paid more attention to it...

Damian checked in the small laundry room too, but he found bottles of detergent and folded towels next to your suit. Nothing else. No one else.

“Damian—“

“Shut up.” He pointed at you with a finger.

“You are the one who came to my place to look for whatever or whoever you are searching for! Unprompted!”

He didn’t answer.

You went back to your bedroom to turn the TV off and pause the movie, resigned to the fact that he had ruined your self-care day.

No one knew you would be home that day. You had ignored everybody’s calls and avoided being active on social media just in case they were stalking you. Turns out the utmost secrecy isn’t enough to avoid Damian Wayne.

He stood in the living room, looking down at the coffee table as if expecting the furniture to turn into something else. Fixing his eyes on the centerpiece he knew Dick had given you as a gift because it reminded him of you, Damian furrowed his brows.

“Have you been alone the entire day?” He asked, feeling your presence behind him.

“My neighbor brought some cake. Other than that, yeah.”

“Barbara said you had... company.”

“I haven’t talked to Babs in days.”

Barbara had continued asking about what you saw that night with the spell, and you weren’t willing to say it still. Weeks had passed, but it felt like mere seconds had at times. It was so easy for her to ask, to assume things.

Only you knew the conflict you were feeling. She would never understand how awful it was to find out the one you desire the most is the one who likes you the least.

You had entertained the naive idea that he was in the same position, but the more you replayed what had happened, the more you convinced yourself it had been one-sided. He gave in because the release was pleasant, nothing else. People say things they don’t mean while having sex.

You had done it before, for fuck’s sake. You had faked having a good time before, who was to say Damian hadn’t done the same with you?

“Have you seen anybody else?” He blurted.

“My neighbor, I told you.”

He reformulated, “Have you had sex with anybody else?”

You considered lying, you really did. It would make the tension go away, you would have to see him around with other people but it would save you from a lot of embarrassment.

A part of you told you it was stupid, that you wouldn’t be able to take it. Much less when the people who usually took some interest in you tended to ghost you for whatever reason.

“Not since that night, if that’s what you’re asking,” you admitted.

“Good.” It slipped, but he didn’t care. He meant it, and it felt nice to say things he meant, no matter how harsh they could sound.

You rounded the room, crossing your arms as you stood in front of him. “Why are you here?”

“I was told you had company,” he repeated himself.

“And your logic was to interrupt me?”

“Yes.”

You couldn’t believe him. Did he want you to be alone and miserable your entire life?

The worst part was that you would probably be. Finding out you liked him, that you wanted to have him around, that you craved his attention, and his touch, rocked your world and shattered it.

Who would ever compare to him? His flaws were other people’s better qualities, even you who didn’t know his good side that well was aware of that.

“Do you really hate me that much? I’ve never done anything to you!”

He finally lifted his head. You wished he hadn’t, you wished you didn’t have to see anything other than anger in his handsome features. “I don’t hate you. I would make your life a living hell if I did.”

“You could’ve fooled me,” you chuckled, way more sadly than you thought yourself capable to feel regarding anything that came from him. “You roll your eyes at me every time I visit your house, Damian.”

“It’s not intended at you.”

“The scoffs sure are,” you reproached him, “and your stupid comments of how unfunny anything that makes me laugh is.”

“It’s not because of you,” he shouted. Shaking his head, vexed, he twisted his mouth as he huffed his anger out through his nose. “Cassandra’s jokes aren’t even that funny.”

“See?”

“Why don’t you laugh at mine?” He reproached now, crossing his arms to mimic your stance. “Why is it always one of my siblings or my friends who get a positive response but not me?”

“Oh, come on! You’re saying that like I didn’t come by hearing you say my name a few weeks ago!” Your words stunned him into silence which you used to your advantage. “You never tell jokes in front of me, how am I supposed to laugh at them? I always feel like shit because you only accept being around me on patrol, you entrench yourself in your room and make a point to slam the door shut just so I hear... you know what? Forget it.”

“I hate seeing you with them,” he said, wishing his words hadn’t carried that much emotion. “I always bribe people to not ask you out or to leave you alone, I have to watch you hug Jon and kiss my siblings’ faces. You’re always so damn nice until I appear... I prefer being alone than enduring your indifference.”

You widened your eyes. “You bribe people to not ask me out?!”

“Is that the only upsetting part from everything I said?” he snapped.

“No, no. Of course not. I just...”

He hummed. “It’s stupid, I know.”

“A waste of money, honestly.”

“If I didn’t, you would be with someone else right now. Probably Duke, you’ve always liked him.”

“You bribed Duke?” You let a small laugh out. “Duke? Our Duke?”

“Yes! Stop mocking me.”

“Duke knows everything, you know?” You admitted, uncrossing your arms.

You hadn’t been able to keep things to yourself for that long. Seeing Damian around suddenly hurt. The feeling had always been there, but finding out that he was your heart’s deepest desire wrecked your perception

When you told Duke, he reacted casually, as if you had told him the most obvious thing in the world. He said you and Damian were the only ones who hadn’t seen it.

“He knew certain things before I did, in fact,” you added. “Besides, I see him as a brother and he sees me as a sister.”

Damian nodded. It made sense, now Duke’s attitude seemed normal in comparison to what Damian had assumed.

He always assumed things. Bruce had told him once that he needed to learn to ask before acting out — this was the first time Damian found his father’s words useful.

“Why did you kiss me that night?”

“I believe it was more than kissing.”

“Yes.” Damian hadn’t been able to forget, he never would. “But why?”

“I felt... I don’t know how to explain it,” you confessed.

The room suddenly felt small, extremely hot. You shed the stupid turtleneck, it wasn’t like he hadn’t done the stubborn marks on your neck.

Make-up had hidden them well for a few days, and most of them had faded already, but there were two bite-marks, too big and deep, that needed more healing time.

“I was scared,” you told him, “that’s why I felt the rush to take your hand. And it was enough for a while, but then it wasn’t, I wanted you closer.”

“I couldn’t breathe. I assumed I was being poisoned. Then you took my hand and I panicked for a moment, I thought...” his voice broke.

You gave him time, trying your hardest to hide how surprised you were by hearing him like that.

“I thought you were having the same symptoms,” he rasped. “I’ve been trained to fight those things off, but you haven’t and I knew you would die. Your hand made it better for a few minutes, then I needed you closer too.”

“We can forget about it if you want,” you assured him, avoiding looking at his face in case your comment relieved him.

“I don’t.”

Damian reached for your hand in the same fashion you had that cursed —literally— night, shakily, urgently.

And in the same fashion he had, you allowed him to take it.

He brought you closer to him. You observed he looked more tired than ever, perhaps because things had been tense for the past weeks. You couldn’t have possibly looked too different.

“The spell doesn’t have to dictate this,” he said, tilting his head to look into your eyes. “It won’t. You know I don’t trust magic.”

“The spell is not the problem,” you whispered.

“I didn’t think there was a problem.”

“We have never spent time together outside of patrol, Damian.”

He sighed, nodding. “Get changed. Let’s go out.”

Only a lunatic would give their self-care day up for a guy. Well, you didn’t really care if people thought you were a lunatic, and Damian wasn’t just a guy — still, giving up the ice cream in your fridge was a sin.

A sin you were happy to commit.

Damian waited for you to get changed, patiently if anyone asked you. It had taken you a few minutes to even choose something appropriate, based on his own outfit because that was just logic.

He slipped his cellphone into his pocket while you locked the door. As you turned around to take off, he offered his hand.

You took it, intertwining your fingers with his as you walked down the hallway. In the middle of the stairway, you bumped into one of your neighbors who smiled sweetly at both of you. To your surprise, Damian smiled back.

Also surprised to discover he hadn’t taken his bike, you bowed as a thank you when he opened the door of his car for you.

“Do you want to put some music on?” he offered.

“You pick,” you said, curious as to what he would play.

You could’ve sworn he was nervous as he stared down at his phone, looking for something to play. He scrolled down, then up — he switched apps, then continued scrolling.

“I’m not picky.” Your tone was soft, an attempt to assure him.

“I don’t really listen to a variety of genres.”

“What do you listen to the most?”

“Classical. My mother got me used to it.”

You rested the side of your head on the backrest of the seat, looking at him. “You can play that if you want. Or we can just talk about the weather and whatnot. I think it might rain tonight. You like rain, right?”

He locked his cellphone, turning to face you. “Yes. It calms me.”

“I hated it as a kid,” you disclosed, hoping it would ease the tension and better his mood. “I was scared of thunderstorms.”

Igniting the engine, he prompted you to continue, “Not anymore?”

“No. My mom used to tell me that the only reason why they were so noisy was that the sky was happy to unwind and eventually I believed it.”

“That’s cute.”

“I had a phase in which I was in a bad mood if it didn’t rain.” You laughed at your own comment. “Now I like it just fine, less obsessively.”

“I had a similar fixation with snow.” He laughed too, and your stomach did somersaults — it was the first time you had heard him laugh genuinely.

Damian didn’t talk about life at The League often, he didn’t feel compelled when he knew the preconceptions that came with simply mentioning the place or his maternal family.

In fact, everything Batman Inc.’s members knew had been from Bruce. He liked the secrecy, those were parts of him and no one else. But he was willing to share tiny pieces with you.

He saw it as something supposed to be shared between two people interested in starting a relationship.

So he continued, “I would only climb mountains if they were covered by snow. My mother called me a brat many times, but she gave into my wishes for a while.”

“How did you grow out of it?”

“I broke my elbow.” He briefly looked to the side and then took a turn. “I proved her right, and I didn’t like not having the last word so I started despising the snow. I don’t mind it now.”

Before you could ask anything else, he pulled into the grocery store’s parking lot.

He picked a basket once inside the store, making a motion for you to follow him.

“What are we buying?”

“Fruit and whatever you want for a picnic.”

Realizing you weren’t near the fruits aisle, you gripped his sweater, steering him to the other side. Of course he wasn’t used to doing groceries.

He silently allowed you to guide him which was a win, Damian hated being told what to do no matter how small the suggestion was.

It didn’t take either of you too long to get everything you needed, but he spent ten minutes choosing a blanket as if he wouldn’t ruin the poor thing with mud and insects.

Passing the clothing area on your way to do checkout, you elbowed him on the side. He stared down at you, then followed your eyes as he realized they were fixed on something.

Damian groaned. “You’re so funny.”

“Oh, come on! You’re telling me you wouldn’t buy Batman underwear?”

“No.”

“You’re lying.”

“I am not.”

You narrowed your eyes, keeping your laugh in when you saw what resembled a pout on his face. “Robin’s?” you tried.

“Perhaps.”

You lost it at that. “Are they comfy?”

“Will you stop laughing if I say yes?”

“Only if it’s the truth.”

He just nodded, then did the gesture upward so you would resume the path towards the exit.

Pleased with his answer, you walked towards the checkout line. Damian stood behind you, breathing your scent in.

“Is that a new perfume?”

You craned your neck. “How did you know?”

Shrugging, hoping he was being nonchalant enough, he said, “I have a good nose.”

After a brief fight over who would pay for the groceries, —which he won by saying it had been his idea—, you left the store in direction of the park.

Your hand found his naturally, as if your palm’s place was to be pressed against his bigger one.

It felt good, but not really because of that bullshit —true, but bullshit still when magic was so unpredictable— of him being what your heart desired the most. The truth was that you could feel in his grip how much he wanted this to go well.

Swinging your clasped hands, you walked around the park, looking for the perfect spot to sit at.

You found a spot away from the kids running around, against a tree. Damian laid the blanket on the grass, placing the paper bags onto it next.

He slid an arm around your shoulders, using his other hand to eat.

“Do you think your family is already spying on us?” you asked gazing at him as you leaned onto his arm.

“I am certain.”

“You don’t mind?”

He lightly smiled at you, reaching for a strawberry. “Not at all. Do you?”

“Nah. I’m not looking forward to Barbara’s teasing, though.”

“Why did she tell us you had a guy over?” He bit down into the fruit.

“She has always said I have feelings for you.” You wiped the corner of his mouth with your thumb. It never occurred to either of you that you would need napkins. “And I guess she put two and two together when we covered our necks and used the same excuse.”

“In my defense, I could have blamed Tim.”

“In my defense,” you copied his smart-ass tone, “I didn’t want to talk about it.”

“You told Duke from all people.”

“Duke was supportive.”

Damian hummed sarcastically. “I’m sure everybody knows the details already. He loves to gossip.”

Seeing you frown before you turned to look to the other side, he reached for your farthest cheek, softly pushing your face so you would stare at him.

“I don’t care if they know.”

You wished you could have believed him. “If you didn’t, you wouldn’t have avoided me the same way I avoided you.”

“I cared,” he clarified, “not anymore.”

“What changed?”

“Me, my priorities… my vision of you, of this.”

You took an apple in your hand. Rolling the fruit in your grasp, you only nodded. Saying something else would have been nice, appropriate even, but words escaped you.

The fact that he didn’t hate you was still pretty new, shocking to some extent. His willingness to be seen with you by family and strangers alike was a huge compliment, and a big deal.

It was too serious so suddenly… you liked it no matter how scary it was. There had to be a reason why he felt so sure about this, and trusting Damian had never been a bad idea.

Except from that time when you ended up with stitches all over your arm, but you could let that go if it meant having him by your side. As corny as it sounded.

“Meetings will be weird, won’t they?” You sunk your teeth into the apple, hearing him chuckle.

“Less awkward, I hope. Although I enjoy vexing my siblings.”

“We can have fake fights in front of them if you want.”

“And blame them for our nonexistent problems?”

“Of course, I’m sure they will try to give their input either way.”

Damian groaned. He feared just that. It would be out of a place of care, he knew, but it didn’t make it less intrusive — he could picture Dick, sitting down in front of him in the cave, with a big smile and dangling his finger as he told him the way he was supposed to treat you.

He liked to imagine that Cassandra would only threaten him. Perhaps Stephanie would do the same and stop Tim from patronizing him.

Not wanting to ruin the moment by thinking what would Jason and Duke do, he shifted and changed the subject to the movie you had been watching earlier.

You explained that it had been one of your favorites and told him the plot between bites, amused by the fact that he was trying to look interested even though you knew it wasn’t his type of movie.

He told you about the movies the team was supposed to watch that day. You didn’t feel guilty for skipping; as much as you loved them, you needed time for yourself.

Spending time with Damian on this occasion counted as time for yourself, although you would make yourself clear to him that you would eventually need alone time for real. It was a mere exception.

The two of you walked around the park for a while, talking about random things. He was surprisingly easy to talk to once you tried, and God did you try.

It couldn’t get better than hearing him speak casually, about the architecture nearby and the types of flora around the park, in a light tone and with his hand in yours.

Your fingers played with his, and once again you found yourself in awe of him, of how comfortable he was with the mindless gesture and his willingness to keep up with it. You doubted someone would ever surprise you as much as Damian did.

Slowing down a little bit to take the scenery in, you naturally tightened the grip of your fingers on his.

It was such a nice day to be outside… perhaps the weather cast had been wrong and it wouldn’t rain.

The city was bathed in a pink glow as the sun set, unrecognizable. No one would have guessed such scenery to take place in a deeply violent and corrupted place, not even the most optimistic person in the world.

You remembered clearly how surprised Jon had been the first time he saw something other than thundering rain and gray skies in Gotham.

Glittering under the sunlight, the flowers at the end of the playground looked alive for once as the sky stunned many around you. And when you turned to look at Damian, curious about his reaction, you found his eyes solely on you.

The trees, so green under the light of dusk, had nothing on Damian’s eyes. Such thought, so familiar that you felt as though it wasn’t the first time it crossed your mind, so natural that you found it a fact and not an opinion, made you forget about everything around you.

He continued gazing at you, finding the curiosity in your beautiful eyes flattering. Oh, how much he enjoyed being the object of your attention.

The scenery behind you was gorgeous, he was certain of it. In his opinion, you complimented the view in ways nothing would ever do — there was something in your peaceful semblance as you tore your gaze off the sky and admired him instead.

You could’ve been sharing a silent moment with the strangers around you, one of those things he had heard you say once made the world make sense, yet your eyes were on him, on his face. And it made him feel important like nothing before had.

His father’s praises, the ones he had sought for so long were nothing in comparison. Dick’s patience although fundamental to his development as a man fell short against the way your eyes were shining for him.

Twilight swirled around you, but his eyes never left your face nor yours did his. The world didn’t exist, and if it existed, then it didn’t matter — not when you found him worth all your attention, not when he thought you to be brighter than the sun itself.

The air in the car as he drove you back to your place was thick and tense. He hadn’t said a word since he told you about that time Bruce inaugurated the school across the park.

Damian looked lost in thought, like often you had seen him while out on patrol. The places his mind took him had never compromised his performance — you admired that.

Bruce had called him out an infinite amount of times, but he couldn’t do anything else when Damian always delivered. You had wondered how he did it many times, but now you had to assume Talia taught him.

He walked you into the building, fingers brushing your wrist as you fell in natural silence.

Fumbling for your keys, you felt him lean onto the wall just next to your door. You took more time than needed to open the door, hoping he would say or do something.

When he didn’t, you pushed the door open and turned on your heel to face him.

“I had an amazing day with you,” he said, eyes on yours.

You breathed out, “I did too.”

Why couldn’t the day last longer? You logically knew you would see him again, but something inside you wanted him to stay. You wanted him to stay, better said.

Would it be too bold, too sudden, to invite him in? He probably had patrol that night — hell, you were supposed to be getting into your suit at that moment instead of pondering on whether you were brave enough to imply you wanted to spend more time with him; preferably in your room, naked.

Fuck it. If he said no, you would say you had patrol either way.

“Do you want to co—“

“Yes,” he answered before you could finish the question, letting a relieved sigh out.

You pulled him into the apartment, arm around his neck as you used your other hand to close the door.

His lips fell on yours as he kissed you slowly, arms delicately around your plump form. He took his time to map your lips with his own, somewhat afraid of kissing you wrong.

Damian grew confident as you attempted to kiss him more firmly, as steadily as your giddiness allowed you to. Tasting the fruit he had eaten earlier off his tongue, you wrapped your other arm around his torso, bringing him closer.

Smiling on your lips, he angled his face, kissing you with the same urgency he had the other night.

Eagerly, he tangled his tongue with yours until both of you were panting in search of air. As you caught your breath, Damian fiddled with the ends of your turtleneck.

Clearing his throat, he asked, “Can I take this off? It’s getting in the way.”

“I can take it off—“

“I would like to do it, if you don’t mind.”

“I don’t,” you assured him.

Damian slid the turtleneck off you slowly, huffing a small laugh when the blouse you were wearing under inched up. Placing the item to the side, he leaned to kiss your jaw.

Placing your hands on his sides, you slanted your head upon feeling his lips travel down to your neck.

He kissed the bite-mark left from before, softly, giving it small pecks. “Did I go overboard with this one?”

“A little bit. It’s been a pain in the ass to cover.”

“I’ll be more careful from now on,” he promised, leaving more light kisses over the area.

Your pulse quickened at the implication of his words. Damian felt the rush of blood on your jugular where he scattered wet kisses.

He trailed his lips up, breathing in your ear. You shuddered, fighting a whine as your hands looked for the hem of his crewneck sweater.

You inched the sweater up to his chest and waited for him to stand straight so you would be able to take it off. Damian was too busy kissing your face to care.

“Hey,” you did whine this time. “Damian, let me take it off.”

Smirking on your cheek, he hummed. Slowly, painfully so, he pulled away from you.

Once you had gotten rid of the sweater, you grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pulled him into a kiss. He curled his arm around you again, wanting you flush against him.

He slid his hand down and took a handful of your ass, making you buckle your hips up. Dragging his lips to your jaw again, he said, “Your stupid suit didn’t let me do that last time.”

One of your hands stayed on his shoulder while the other landed on his hip. Your fingers played with the loops of his jeans as he continued gripping and grabbing your ass like he had never touched one.

Angling your face, you attached your lips to his neck. Damian’s grip on you tightened.

“I want to take it slow,” he whispered, “but you’re making it really hard.”

“Metaphorically?” You mouthed his throat, hand sliding down to his chest, squeezing itself between both your bodies.

“And literally,” he whined. You loved the sound, for once not demanding yet still bratty.

As your hand slipped downward, you continued kissing his neck, paying special attention to the juncture of his neck and shoulder. You hoped your lipstick wouldn’t dirty his shirt — or maybe you hoped it would, both were fine with you.

Damian put some space between you, understanding what you were trying to do. While you undid his jeans, he undid yours, considering it would be better to get rid of everything on his way now that he was still feeling patient.

Shoes and socks off, the two of you shed your jeans without care of where they landed. Now the living room’s floor truly was covered in scattered items of clothing and this time Damian enjoyed the view.

“Come here.” He reached for you, eyes on your chest as his hands ghosted your sides.

You looked up at him, unable to hide the enjoyment you got from his hungry eyes being all over you. Following their movements, you also observed their slow dilatation.

He inched a hand up your side. You assumed he would finally knead your breast but he merely ghosted its outline, head tilted as he watched his own hand move.

For a few moments, he only did that, almost as if he was in a trance. The warmth of your own palm on his lower abdomen as your fingers brushed the elastic of his boxers made him react.

You pushed him back, towards your bedroom, pulling the door open and shoving him inside. He smiled, lifting his arms in mock surrender.

Damian sat down on your bed, relishing into the smell of everything you owned — the bedding smelled like a mix of fabric softener and your delicious new heady perfume.

You got the urge to kiss his entire face, hands on his shoulders as he slanted his head back for you to do it comfortably. He relished on the gesture too, so spontaneous and warming.

He placed his hands on the backs of your thighs, urging you to straddle him. Watching you second guess yourself, he drew you closer to encourage you.

Giving a last kiss to his nose, you complied. Damian snaked his arms around your waist, a pleased smile pressing against your chin before he kissed your mouth.

You bit his lip, tugging on it. He crashed his lips against yours again just to then do the same himself, intentionally bitting harder than you had.

A moan escaped you. Feeling his cock twitch under your navel, you rocked your hips to watch his reaction.

His arms tightened around you as he tutted against your core. “This is the reason why I never train with you,” he groaned.

“I thought it was because I almost broke Tim’s leg once.”

“Don’t mention anyone else right now.”

Right. You had forgotten he had been jealous earlier.

Damian rolled over, switching places with you. He kissed you before you could pout, cradling your face with one hand while he held himself up with the other.

You placed a hand on his upper back while the other rested on the side of his neck, kissing him back with the same amount of passion he was kissing you.

He had you breathless in a matter of seconds, and as he broke the kiss, you saw his nostrils flare in attempts to catch his breath quickly.

Trailing kisses down your neck, he dropped his hand to your breast. This time he kneaded it, humming against your skin when you reacted with a small sound. His thumb brushed your nipple, playing with it while he busied himself with leaving marks on your chest.

So much for being careful, huh. At least those were easier to hide.

“Do you want me to eat you out?” He asked bluntly.

“If you’re in the mood.”

He kneeled on the bed, hooking his thumbs in your panties to slide them down. You lifted your hips to help him out, laughing when he threw your underwear behind him with little care.

You opened your legs for him, finding a comfortable position as he stayed there, taking all of you in, completely naked and at his mercy.

He kissed your thighs first, teasingly nibbling on them. Every time he got closer to the center, to where now you needed him instead of only wanting him, he pulled away and went back to your thigh.

Slowly, he dragged his index finger up and down your folds. Damian rested his chin on your right thigh as he watched his finger collect and smear your wetness, proud of the fact that he was the one who had made you wet. No one else.

Your breath hitched in expectant excitement as you saw him finally bury his head between your thighs. His tongue followed the same path his finger had outlined, at the same rhythm.

“You taste even better than I imagined,” he praised, licking his bottom lip clean.

As he gradually increased his rhythm, licking long stripes along your folds, you got bolder and urged him to be firmer by pushing your hips upward.

He moaned against your pussy, playfully sucking your labia to let you know he got the message.

Bringing an arm up to pin your hips back down, he used his other hand to open your legs a little bit more and part your labia.

Damian pressed his tongue on your clit, moving it gently at first. He wanted to know exactly what you liked and how. It didn’t take him long to switch between using his lips and his tongue which earned him a loud moan.

His hand caressed your thigh, eventually sliding between the mattress and your body to grab your asscheek.

You whined his name, reaching down to hold the back of his head. It was clear to you that he was enjoying every sound he managed to make you blurt, and it felt really good, but you needed more.

Out of nowhere, he tugged on your hips to slide you down the bed. Kneeling on the floor, he sucked fervently on your clit.

You fisted the duvet, begging him to keep going. Damian complied happily, mouth latched on your clit as your pussy swallowed his moans and the four walls of your bedroom made yours bounce.

They were music to his ears and his entire body. He could feel the tingling all over him, excitement and pride flowing through his bloodstream.

Massaging your ass, he couldn’t help but chuckle upon feeling both your hands on his head now. He allowed you to push his face farther in, not once slowing down.

Your hips bucked up and instead of restraining you, he moved with you. If you moved up he did down and vice versa. You got louder and he marveled at how responsive you were to him.

He growled, gripping your ass with force as he sucked on your clit until his cheeks were hollow. He let go only to repeat the motion, letting his tongue wander when he needed a break.

You tugged on his hair, squealing. Your body tensed in his grasp, prompting him to continue with his ministrations. Feeling the tremor in your legs as you tried to settle back down on the bed, he started lapping tenderly.

You caressed his hair, panting with your eyes closed. Damian lifted his head, hands softly dancing over your thighs as he stood up.

Feeling him hover over you, you opened your eyes albeit with a little difficulty. His mouth and chin glistened with your slick, wanton eyes inspecting your semblance.

“Do you want me to suck you off?” you rasped before clearing your throat.

He caressed your sweaty cheek. “Later.”

“Bu—“

He shut you up with a kiss. “Later, please? I just want to be inside you.”

Nodding against him, you kissed him again. Tasting yourself off his tongue was addictive. You held him still for a moment, licking your slick off his gorgeous face.

Damian growled, deep and loud this time, hands already on your waist. “Should I wear a condom this time?”

“No. Unless you want to?”

He shook his head. He didn’t want a single thing to keep him from feeling you fully. Damian stood from the bed. “Get on all fours.”

You rolled on your side first to then do as he had told you, holding your breath as you waited for him to stand behind you.

He rested a hand on your hip. “Ready?”

“Yeah,” you gave him your consent.

Damian entered you slowly, little by little, less worried about hurting you and more about making you feel every inch of him as his cock filled you.

You breathed out through a whine. He gave you time to adjust to his size, leaning to kiss the scar on your back.

Wanting to stay like that forever, you waited more than you should have to. If he was aware, he decided to be patient — such thing only made you grow wetter.

“Go ahead,” you told him, hoping you didn’t sound too desperate.

Reaching over, he gripped your hands. “You feel amazing, beloved.” He kissed your shoulder, nibbling on your skin as he rocked his hips.

God, you didn’t know if his comment had been what flattered you or the pet name. Either way, hearing them was as amazing as the way he felt inside you, filling you like no one before him had.

His hands left yours. He opted for placing them firmly on your hips and thrust into you steadily, keeping you from moving too much.

Humming in pleasure, you held the edge of the bed in anticipation. He went faster exponentially, calculating every single one of his thrusts.

Having control over his thrusts and the movement of your hips was nice and all, but he needed you closer.

Slapping your thigh, he croaked out, “On your back.”

You missed his girth the second he parted from you so you could change positions, it made you feel empty.

Damian helped you get comfortable, holding your thighs open before you got the urge to rub them. He smirked when you glared at him, hand leaving one of your legs to hold his cock.

He penetrated you again, bottoming out immediately as he made himself comfortable on top of you.

“Fuck, Damian!”

His hips snapped forward involuntarily. Both of you moaned at the same time, he pushed against your g-spot and you throbbed around him.

His movements were rougher like this, wilder. It was as though he wanted to prove a point to himself, you didn’t know which and you didn’t care as long as he fucked you like he needed to be inside you in order to be complete.

“Say my name again,” he rasped the command.

And how could you deny him? You repeated his name as many times as your moans allowed you like a broken chant.

Damian’s pace got quicker every time he heard his name fall from your lips, a tad uneven as he allowed himself to get lost in the pleasure the mix of everything was bringing him — your walls gripping his cock, your hoarse moans and the angelic way honey dripped from your voice when you called for him.

You dragged your nails all over his back, moaning and whimpering in his ear. He was so loud in your own ear, saying things in Arabic that you couldn’t understand in such a fervent tone that you weren’t sure if you would come because he was fucking you into oblivion or because of his strained voice.

Hearing your name slip in his prayer-like monologue, you cried out upon feeling your stomach get tighter. You clung to his shoulders, letting him ram into you in unsteady thrusts that went from slow to hammering in seconds.

His tongue slipped, Damian started switching between languages. Grip on you tightening to the point of being bruising, he begged, “I need you to come first, please. I— shit.” He dropped his head into the crook of your neck as you wrapped your legs around his hips, clenching around him.

You threw your head back, arching up to meet his latest thrust as your orgasm flew through you. Distantly, you processed a few of the sounds you were making and some of the ones you were elating from him.

Strings of hot cum covered your walls. He growled on your skin, saying your name and something you couldn’t really understand.

You let him ride off his orgasm inside you, hearing the mess he was making as the wet sounds from your slick and his cum mingled. His mouth covered yours in a tired kiss, lazy and with a hint of the tenderness he had put to the side even though his intentions had been different.

Once the two of you had caught your breaths and he had made an even bigger mess, you pulled the bedding off the mattress and threw everything into the washing machine.

He was all over you as the two of you shared a shower, so close that scrubbing off took you way longer than it should have.

In all honesty, you didn’t mind. You were too happy to complain about his annoying little antics that you couldn’t wait to get used to.

”Should we suit up?” You asked him, watching the water drip down his chest like it was the most interesting thing in the world.

“They can manage without us for a night.”

“You want to skip patrol?”

Drying his arms, he copied your tone, “You don’t want to spend more time alone with me?”

“Of course I do,” you replied immediately. “But you love patrol.”

He stood still, somewhat stiff in front of you. “Not enough, it seems.”

You dropped the topic at that and went on with drying your body.

He only put his underwear back on while you slipped a pair of panties and a t-shirt, awkwardly trying to find something to change the topic.

“Do you want some ice cream? I have a tub in the freezer.”

“Sounds good.”

A nice moment you shared, silently eating ice cream. He sat close to you the entire time, brushing your side.

It felt natural, as though you were supposed to be doing that and not anything else. Patrol could wait, and his family, and your friends, and the entire world.

The world stopped so you two could enjoy the moment, the day. Or perhaps it didn’t and you just couldn’t bring yourself to give this up for it — but he couldn’t either and that meant everything to you.

Damian never skipped patrol, he hadn’t done it in the worst moments of his life and you never expected to see the day in which he would find something more worthwhile.

You found a clean sheet for the bed in the laundry room which saved you from having to squeeze yourself with Damian on the couch. Maybe it was time to get a bigger one.

He rested his head on your stomach, cheek against your belly as he looked up at you. You could tell he wanted to say something, his brow was ever so slightly furrowed, and his eyes seemed clouded by a thought. He looked pretty nonetheless.

He traced his fingers over your thigh, drawing little doodles. You could make some up by feel — a flower, a bat, his name, a few stars, his name again, an R inside a circle, a heart, his name for the third time.

“I think I would’ve broken my oath to my father if you had had someone over.”

You slid your hand off his hair to caress his cheek, too worried to hide your frown. Damian took his promises and oaths seriously, more seriously than anything else. You had seen his family use said thing against him.

“It wouldn’t have been worth it,” you tried to reason with him. “It wouldn’t have changed anything.”

“Would you have gotten mad at me?”

“I don’t know,” you admitted. “It would’ve depended on a lot of things. Without context, obviously, but...” Realizing you were about to make up excuses for something that hadn’t even happened, you decided to ask, “Why are you still thinking about that?”

“I don’t want you to forget about me. Ever.”

“Are you planning to say goodbye or something of sorts?”

“No!” He glared at you for even considering such a thing to be a possibility after everything the two of you had talked about, after everything you had made him feel. ”But I...” Damian scoffed. “I can’t explain to you how horrible it felt. My eyesight clouded the moment Stephanie said it was time for you to start seeing someone.”

“Jealousy does that to us.” You tried to sound wise by saying it, an attempt you found quite pointless as you replayed it in your head.

Silently, he lifted his head off your stomach in order to lay down next to you. Shifting so he would be comfortable, you held your head up with your hand to properly gaze at him.

Damian mirrored your position. He told you, in a hushed tone like it was his deepest secret, “I felt like you were replacing me.”

Stephanie only had said that because it was the truth. Your relationships always fizzled out after the first two months so you had stopped trying. Then there was the fact that Damian himself had sabotaged who knows how many of them...

From her perspective, it made sense.

“Damian...” you trailed off, in vain. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Tell me you won’t.”

“I won’t replace you as long as you don’t replace me.”

You thought he would find the comment insulting even though it was perfectly sound. But for God knows which time that day, Damian surprised you by scoffing with nonchalance.

Dismissing your worry, he slid closer to you, resting his forehead against your flexed arm. “I couldn’t possibly be happy without your perfume all over me.”

Grabbing him by the hair, you forced him to lift his head. His eyes found yours in a second, curious. You dropped your hand to his neck, sliding it up to his cheek.

Giving him the sweetest kiss you had ever given, tracing the side of his gorgeous face tenderly, you hoped you were doing a good job expressing what you wanted to communicate.

You were. He gave you in return the brightest smile you had seen in your entire existence. It was all for you, something you had caused, something you wanted to see for the rest of your life.

Damian pulled you onto his chest, laying on his back. He mindlessly ran his fingers over your side and up and down your back while you listened to his steady heartbeat.

You couldn’t possibly feel complete without him ever again.

[kindahoping4forever]

Hot N Cold // Ashton Irwin

Both @cal-puddies and I had to endure disgusting heatwaves last week (it was literally 99 degrees before noon for me) and were laughing that we co-wrote a hot weather trope fic and it turns out, being this warm is not sexy. I took it a step further and declared that I was so uncomfortable I wouldn’t let Ashton near me and Cass was like bitch please and instantly proved me a liar by suggesting a scenario that I eventually spun into this entirely self-indulgent fic. (Exposing screenshots available upon request 😂🤡)

Warnings: Boyfriend!Ash, slight soft!dom Ash, female receiving oral sex/rimming, ice play, unprotected sex within established relationship, gratuitous mentions of Ash with a beard and in basketball shorts because I am a 🤡, I truly cannot express how self-indulgent this is.

Word Count: 4.9k exactly! (And I can never thank Cass enough for being a problem solving, editing queen because otherwise this legit could’ve easily been 10k, I was out of control and have officially been dubbed “the Stephen King of smut”)

Cass & Crystal’s Collab Masterlist

Let  me  know  what  you  think!

Sign up for my taglist!

————-

You tap on the thermostat display, hoping that the numbers you’re reading are a mistake.

“Babe, it’s digital, that’s not gonna do anything,” Ashton calls from across the room.

You make a face and continue staring in disbelief. Last week when you invited your boyfriend to stay with you while his home underwent plumbing repairs, you had no idea there would be a heatwave sweeping the city. And as if the heat wasn’t bad enough, a thunderstorm was also predicted so it’s not just hot but humid, which drives you absolutely crazy.

You usually find it cozy when Ash stays at yours, your modest apartment a quaint contrast to his luxurious house. But waking up next to him in your full size bed (a far cry from the king size at his place), with you both already drenched in sweat put you in a sour mood and as the day progresses, along with the temperature, your mood has only gotten worse.

“How could the outside temperature and the inside temperature be that similar, what the fuck,” you grumble.

“It only feels that bad because now you know how hot it actually is, babe,” he suggests, coming up and wrapping his arms around you, kissing your neck, lightly scraping at it with his beard.

You roll your eyes. “No, it feels that bad because it is that bad, babe,” you huff, shrugging his arms off of you. In quick succession, he smirks and then pouts at your brush-off. “Ash, I swear to god, why does it seem like the second it gets above a certain temperature, you get super affectionate just to spite me?”

He grins and reaches for you, pulling you into an embrace once more. “Aww, baby, it’s not out of spite,” he laughs. “I just think you’re cute when you’re irritated.”

Ash squeezes you tight, swaying softly as he kisses the top of your head. Normally you would find yourself melting into his touch but today you just feel like you’re literally melting. 

“You’re about to think I’m really fucking adorable then because I’m gonna flip out if you don’t get away from me,” you gripe, wriggling out of his grasp. 

You decide to take a cool shower but you’re not surprised to find that it’s so hot outside, the water doesn't get any cooler than lukewarm. You let your frustrated mind wander as it runs over your sweat-covered skin. Of course the heatwave would have to be this weekend. Of course it was unexpected so all your fans are still in storage and of course all the stores in the area are sold out of their stock. Of course you live in an apartment that only has a small air conditioner that’s basically useless. Of course Ashton is annoyingly unaffected by the heat and of course you know it’s unreasonable of you to direct your hostility toward him but… seriously, it’s so annoying. Despite your agitated thoughts and the tepid water, by shower’s end, you have to admit you feel relieved. 

Ash’s back is turned when you approach the kitchen. Now that both your body and your temper have had a chance to cool, you’re much more appreciative of his presence. You stand in the doorway, admiring his considerable build: how broad his back looks even as he hunches over, digging through a drawer, how the narrow cut of his tank top makes his shoulders look even larger than usual, how his favorite basketball shorts cling to his ass. By the time his arms start flexing as he stirs what looks like a pitcher of sweet tea, you’re padding over to him and wrapping your arms around his torso.

“Heyyy,” he chuckles, slinging an arm around you and bringing you to his side. “You seem to be feeling better.”

“Better, cooler and nicer,” you declare, pecking at his chest to prove your point. “Sorry I was being a mega bitch.”

He snorts. “No offense but when I saw the heat advisory on my phone last night, I kind of knew what I was gonna be up against.”

You pinch his arm, half offended. “No, my love, I could never think of you as a mega bitch,” you offer the reply you would’ve preferred, in a mocking voice. 

He shakes his head with a smile. “Would I have gone to this much trouble if I really thought that of you?” He gestures towards the living room where he’s spread your spare comforter on the floor in front of the AC; two cold cut sandwiches, a tub of leftover macaroni salad from yesterday’s dinner and a fresh bag of your favorite chips sit on the coffee table. 

You enjoy your “picnic” and continue lounging in front of the AC long after you’re finished eating. Ashton returns from clearing your dishes to discover you sprawled out on your stomach, complaining that you sat on the floor too long and your entire body feels numb. 

He cocks an eyebrow as he lays down next to you and lands a hard smack across your ass. You yelp but honestly, you should’ve seen it coming. You glare at him, unimpressed.

“Just trying to help,” he shrugs, a mischievous glint in his eye.

“Mmm hmm, sure,” you giggle, turning to face him. “Quick question, why are you like this?” 

He pulls you closer. “Don’t act like it’s just me, I felt you ogling me in the kitchen,” he teases. “I know you’re turned on, look how hard your nipples are.” He grabs a handful of your breast and pinches to emphasize his point.

You snort laugh, “I’ve been sitting in front of an air conditioner, you dummy.” 

He makes a sheepish face and you both crack up. Your joint giggle fit easily transitions into a comfortable, lazy makeout session. You’re about to finally reach your hand inside his shorts when you both pull away after hearing a noise. It takes only a few seconds of humid air on your skin for you to realize that the AC has stopped. “The power’s gone out,” you announce, gently pushing his body off of you so that you can go flip the circuit breakers. “Maybe we had the air on for too long?”

A few minutes later, Ash joins you in the kitchen, where you’re fiddling with the breaker box. “Nothing,” you tell him, frowning at the panel.

“Seems like it’s the whole complex, all your neighbors are out wandering around,” he reports. “Maybe a rolling blackout from the heat? Or I guess it could be the storm? Looked like the signal at the end of the street was out.”

“Fantastic,” you seethe.

Ash reaches for your hand, pressing a kiss to your clenched fist. “It’ll be fine, baby, this is just a good excuse for us to order dinner. And the sun will be going down soon, so it’ll have to cool off!"

You nod slowly, not believing him but appreciating the effort. "You just don't want me to be mean to you again," you tease.

You start looking for your lanterns and candles in case the power doesn't come back before nightfall. Which of course, it doesn’t. And despite Ashton's optimism, it doesn't cool off much either. You know the heat must actually be extreme when even he starts commenting on it.

He spots your cooler in the closet and offers to run down to the corner gas station and grab some ice to fill it with so you could at least have cold drinks. It doesn’t make much of a difference to you but you know he’s trying to do anything he can to make you more comfortable, so you tell him it’s a great idea. 

He returns quickly, triumphantly lifting up a comically large party bag of ice with one hand. "This was the only size they had," he explains. You smile softly and kiss his shoulder in silent thanks as you pass by on your way to gather the drinks.

The rest of the evening is uneventful. You attempt a candlelit dinner, but you both quickly agree it’s more impractical than romantic and replace the candles with your bright ass camping lantern. 

You make it an early night, not because you're tired but because you need the day to end. You thought fresh sheets sounded cooling but when Ash enters the bedroom, he finds you sitting defeatedly in the middle of the half-made bed and in the dim candlelight, he can’t tell if it’s sweat or frustrated tears he spies falling down your face. “OK, that’s enough,” he announces, reaching for your arm to drag you up from the bed. “You’re getting in the shower, I’m dealing with this.”

You’re pleased to find the water has cooled and the candles you have illuminating the bathroom makes for a much more relaxing environment than your previous shower. You haven’t been in long when you feel Ash’s beard scratching your back as he presses small kisses to your shoulders. You smile to yourself and face him, wrapping your arms around him. “You had to put up with a lot from me today,” you start. You peck along his neck and jaw, landing at his lips, which you kiss softly. “I just want you to know I appreciate it.” 

He holds you against him. “It was a long, shit day,” he shrugs. “I was just sorry to see you having such a bad time. Wanted to do what I could."

You lean in and you make out sweetly, enjoying the feel of each other's lips and the cool water. You feel him start to dip his hands in between your legs but you gently push them away. "I'm good, baby, just wanted to thank you." You peck his lips and leave him to finish showering.

You’re in the middle of putting lotion on when you feel Ashton’s hands on you again; he hasn’t even bothered with a towel, as if he couldn’t waste a second moving from the shower back to your body.

"Ashhhh,” you giggle. “I promise I’m fine… and where’s your towel? You’re dripping everywhere.”

His hand has found its way between your legs again and he swipes a finger through your folds. “Well, I’m not the only one,” he quips. "I knew you were getting riled up over there." He sucks and nibbles at your neck, causing you to groan. "Baby, you've been stressed all day. Let me get you off, it's the least I can do."

You sigh and nod, unable to deny the way you’re throbbing for his attention; he lifts you onto the bathroom counter and you find yourself almost involuntarily spreading your legs for him. “That’s my good girl,” he coos, kissing your inner thighs, running his beard along them the way he knows you like. He uses the tip of his tongue to flick at your clit, chuckling to himself as you instantly shudder and tangle your fingers in his wet hair.  

You pant heavily while he flattens his wide tongue and laps at your pussy. By the time his lips wrap around your clit, you’re bucking up onto his face, begging him for more.

You’re puzzled when he suddenly draws you down from the counter and pushes you over it, remaining on his knees. He spreads your legs again and swirls his tongue around your clit; he then licks all the way from your clit to your asshole, fluttering his tongue over it several times. A guttural whine rips through your throat.

“That a good noise, baby?” Ash asks, kneading your ass in his hands. “Want me to keep going?” 

All you can manage is a pitifully whimpered “Uh-huh” and he smirks to himself as he dives back in, spreading your cheeks with his thumbs and rolling his tongue over your tight ring. You can’t remember the last time you were this turned on and it’s overwhelming, the added sensation of his beard making it even more stimulating. You nearly shriek when his hand starts working your clit.

“Please Ash... yeah… oh FUCK...” Nonsense spills from your lips as he licks you and you can’t help but roll your hips against his hand. His mouth pauses for a second and you’re about to complain when suddenly he’s pressing his tongue inside your hole. “Jesus Christ, Ash!” You cry out, white knuckling the edge of the counter.

He groans in response to your outburst and you can feel the vibrations of it as he pushes his tongue in further. You reach back and grab at his hair, desperate for something to hold onto, desperate to pull him even closer. His tongue darts in and out of your ass while his fingers rub tight, relentless circles around your clit. 

Your orgasm hits you without warning and for a second, you’re not sure if you’re going to live through it; your entire body shakes, your legs feel like jelly and your eyes are squeezed shut so tight you’re seeing stars. He reaches his free hand up to support you and continues to lick and rub you as it goes on, even as your fingers viciously yank at his hair.

You let yourself slump over the counter, enjoying the cool feeling of the marbling on your heated skin. You feel Ash’s lips softly kissing up your back and his hand stroking your hair. “You did so good, baby, thank you,” he praises, rubbing your back. “Thought you deserved a treat after the day you've had.”

“That was… wow?” You rasp, surprised at your voice’s scratchiness; you didn’t realize you were screaming but you must have been judging from how wrecked you sound. “ ‘M all sweaty though, gonna need to rinse off again,” you laugh.

“Oops,” his giggle echoes through the bathroom. “I’ll leave you to it, then.” He helps you stand upright and presses a kiss to your head. You note that he’s fairly hard but he leaves the room before either of you mention it.

You enter the bedroom a few minutes later and discover it empty; you’ve just pulled on a cotton slip nightgown when your shirtless boyfriend appears, carrying two bottles of water and two cups filled with ice. He sits yours on the nightstand and wanders over to where you’re towel drying your hair. You lovingly roll your eyes as he immediately wraps his arms around you; he’s changed back into his shorts and they’re doing nothing to disguise the erection you noticed in the bathroom. 

“Always love this nightgown on you,” he breathes, mouth biting at your earlobe, hands running up and down your sides. “Do you remember you wore it the first time you stayed over at mine?”

You smile at the memory. “And I thought you only liked it because it’s see-through in the light,” you tease, spinning out of his hold. You love him like this so you don’t want to outright reject him but you also can’t imagine having sex in this sweltering bedroom and aren’t about to take your fourth shower of the day.

You prop your pillows up so you can drink your ice water and check your phone while you still have some battery left. Ash sits next to you and you can already feel the heat radiating off of him. He absentmindedly places his hand on your thigh, squeezing every so often as it creeps higher. You slide your hand into his, bring it to your lips and kiss his knuckles briefly before setting it back on his own leg.

“I really should’ve let you buy me that bigger bed like you offered when you first started sleeping over,” you joke, hoping he’ll understand your meaning.

He chuckles and searches your face sympathetically, “Am I making you warm, baby? I’m sorry,” he pouts. “It’s getting better though, I opened the window before our shower and the storm’s bringing a breeze in.” He snakes an arm around you and leans you closer, pecking your cheek.

“It’s still pretty bad in here… and you’re still kind of a radiator, Ash,” you gently complain.

He frowns, then pauses and his face suddenly changes expression. “I know something we can do to take your mind off that…” 

You make a face. “Baby… I know you're hard but it has been such a ridiculous day," you gently explain. "I'll kiss you while you jerk off if you want? I just cannot fathom having you on me right now.”

“First of all, I never said I wanted to be on you,” he notes. “Second, I just feel bad you’re already so tense again, babe, we gotta get you to relax.” He massages your neck as he talks and you didn’t realize how stiff your muscles were until that moment. “I know it’s not gonna be an easy night sleeping in here and I was just thinking you always sleep so much better right after you cum...”

Despite the heat, your body is buzzing at his touch. “Goddammit, that’s a fair point,” you concede and he laughs under his breath. “Feel like whatever you have in mind is only gonna make me feel even warmer though.”

His eyes shine with playful desire. “Not necessarily…” he replies mysteriously. “Trust me?”

You hate how curious you are and how much his vagueness is turning you on. “You get five minutes to prove this is worth it… or until I start sweating, whichever is first.”

Ash chuckles, “I think we both know you’ll be begging for my cock long before then.”

You shake your head at him and then he's kissing you and laying you down. "Close your eyes," he requests. You look at him skeptically. "I'm assuming you think it's too warm for the blindfold," he points out and you nod in agreement.

He hovers over you and brushes his lips lightly against yours. "So gorgeous laying there, just waiting for me," he whispers low, knowing the praise will make you swoon. "Can you get your tits out for me, baby?"

You slip your thin straps off your shoulders and tug your nightgown down your torso, exposing your chest. Your breath is already heavy with anticipation when you feel Ashton's hands run up your thighs on his way to knead your breasts. His touch feels warmer than you'd like but his firm, calloused grip is always welcome.

His hands disappear for a second and you hear some generic rustling; you assume you'll be feeling his mouth next but what you don't expect is the intense cold of the ice cube he has in between his teeth. A squeal escapes your throat and your eyes shoot open at the sensation of him dragging the ice down your neck and in between your tits; the combined heat of your skin and his mouth starts melting it instantly and freezing water drips down your body. 

“Ash, what the fuck?!” You cry out with a shocked laugh. He tugs your nightgown lower and continues his travels, bringing the cube down over your stomach, water dissolving all over your midsection.

You whine as he pulls back and grins. “OH, did... did you want me to continue?” He taunts, chewing what was left in his mouth. “Didn’t take long for you to decide this was ‘worth it,’ huh, baby?”

He reaches for the cup on your nightstand and drops another cube in his mouth before lowering himself to your chest. His cold fingers play with one of your nipples while he sucks the other between his lips; his tongue swirls the ice around your pointed bud and the dueling feelings of the frozen cube and his warm tongue is unlike anything you’ve felt before.

You hold his head to your chest, running your fingers through his damp, curling hair. “Ash, babyyyyyy,” you breathe dreamily as he moves his attention to your other nipple. “This was a good idea, you were right.” Even with his mouth around you, he manages to grin at your concession and you arch your back into him.

“Love it when you talk dirty,” he smugly responds. He brings the remaining portion of his cube to the front of his lips and traces it over yours before slipping it back in his mouth and kissing you deeply. You whimper as he slowly transfers the cube into your mouth with his tongue. He tugs your lip between his teeth as he pulls away and you moan loudly at the realization that you can’t feel it because your lips are numb from the ice. 

Ashton sits back on his knees and you reach for him, immediately missing his attention. "Want you," you admit, stretching your arm until your hand lands on his bulging crotch. “Need you. Need this.”

He takes a page out of your book and pulls your hand up to his lips, kissing it and sitting it away from him. “Oh I know you need it, baby,” he teases, slipping his hand inside your panties to feel your wetness. “Don’t worry, you’ll get it... but first… can’t let my last ice cube go to waste.”

He smiles at your annoyed sigh as he snatches the cup from the table and moves down your body. You know that look in his eye and for once tonight, you know what he’s thinking. He starts to raise the cup to his lips as you whine, “Oh my god, Ash, don’t,” pushing him away with your feet.

He cocks his head and rubs his hands up and down your legs. “You know your word,” he replies and looks at you expectantly. You hold each other’s gaze for several beats and then his hands yank your panties off. Your nightgown is still bunched around your waist and you finally pull it all the way off, making yourself bare for him. 

Ash raises the cup in your direction in mock cheers and finally slides the ice into his mouth. In the time it takes you to blink he’s already between your legs, running the tip of the cube up and down your lips. You shift your hips to meet his touch and he lightly slaps your thigh to get you to settle. 

He moves through your folds, nudging at your entrance for just a second before moving on; you brace yourself as he reaches your clit. He teases around it first with only his tongue and your heart pounds as you wait for the cold to shock you. After what feels like half a lifetime, a burst of piercing iciness shoots through your entire body, starting at your core. You let out a long, low moan as he alternates flicking the frozen cube over your clit and then running his warm tongue against you in raging contrast. 

He sucks at your clit softly before moving to kiss up your inner thighs as he sits up. You didn’t see it happen but he apparently slipped the ice into his hand because now he’s pressing it directly on your clit, letting it melt, causing you to moan and writhe. 

"ASH PLEASE… oh my godddd…” you cry, grabbing his wrist. You’re not quite sure if you want him to stop or to keep going until you cum so you just hold onto his arm, begging. “Fuck me, please, need you to fuck me, Ash!”

Smiling, he firmly grinds the last of the cube against your clit and you thrash as it melts within seconds. He slips two fingers inside you and you shudder at how cold they are. “Knew I could get you begging for me, baby” he growls, smirking as he kisses up your body. “You sure it’s 'worth it'? Maybe you’re right, maybe it is too warm? This pussy feels pretty warm to me.” He skillfully juts his fingers in and out of you as he taunts you.

You whimper pathetically in response and he chuckles. “Alright, baby, you’ve been so good for me tonight, I’ll let you have my cock,” he declares. “Hands and knees for me, gorgeous.” 

Ashton pulls his shorts off while you do your best to get into position, unsteady from all the stimulation. You can’t help yourself and as soon as you get up on your knees you lunge for him, capturing his mouth in a filthy kiss and your hand tugs at his cock, easily coaxing out a trickle of precum.

He murmurs into your kiss, letting you have your moment and then in one swift move, he swats your hand away and pulls you off his lips by wrapping his hand around your throat. “I said hands and knees, baby,” he reminds you, squeezing lightly.

You can’t quite find your voice to moan but if you had, it would’ve been the loudest yet. You get into position and for the first time tonight, you notice the curtains billowing as the long-promised stormy breeze fills the room. You’re about to point it out but you decide to bite your lip instead because the head of Ash’s cock is pushing up against your entrance. 

You sigh restlessly and slowly push back on him, eager to have him inside you but he promptly halts your hips and roughly smacks your ass for trying. “Don’t be desperate,” he reprimands sternly. 

You mumble a pitiful “Sorry” and he rubs over the stinging redness of his handprint in acknowledgment. He slides his cock over your pussy a couple times, slicking it with your arousal, enjoying how your legs shake every time he juuuust misses running his tip over your clit. Then he starts pushing in for real, at an agonizingly slow rate; he knows you’re already on the verge of overstimulation and he knows you’re aching to cum but he loves teasing you, loves making you feel every inch of him as he enters you.

You hang your head, breathing his name so softly you almost don’t even hear it yourself. The thrill of finally having him inside you combined with the sublime stretch as his thickness gradually fills you is overwhelming; if you wanted to, you honestly think you might be able to cum from this alone. For a moment it crosses your mind to tell him this but in the next, you realize he already knows.

“Love watching you take me,” Ash praises you, finally bottoming out. “You’ve really gotta see it sometime, baby, there’s nothing like it.” 

You whine at his words and your sounds increase as he thrusts into you, wasting no time setting a punishing rhythm, you’ve both waited long enough for this. “Feels… so… good… babe…” you pant, voice quivering as his hips hit forcefully against yours. Your hands are cramping from how tightly you’re gripping the sheets in front of you but you don’t know how else to handle the intensity of what you’re feeling.

Ashton grunts, slapping your ass once on each cheek. He fucks into you rapidly and it's not long before his fingers dig into where he’s holding your hips; this means he’s getting close. You slide your hand to your clit and start rubbing, burying your face in the bed as you let out a choked sigh. He speeds up the pace when he notices. “I’m almost there too, baby,” he puffs. “Go ahead and cum, baby. Fuck, you deserve it.”

The soft howling of the wind, the vigorous slapping of Ash’s skin on yours and your muffled moans are all that can be heard for the next minute or so. Your sounds gain volume as your pussy begins to throb and you finally feel your walls tensing around him. He fucks you through it, murmuring about what a good girl you are, how beautiful you look. 

As your orgasm reaches its end, you hear Ash continuing to mumble but you realize it’s mostly nonsense; seconds later you feel his cock pulsing as he empties his load inside you. He groans loudly, running his thumbs over the fresh marks he’s left on your hips and slowly pumping into you a few more times before sighing and pulling out.

He pecks a kiss on the small of your back and then he grabs the tissues on your vanity to clean you up. You lay on your stomach, sleepy but satisfied; when he’s done, he lays beside you. “How are we feeling?” He asks, running his hand through your hair.

You smile dreamily at him. “Like I’m gonna sleep real good tonight,” you joke. You scoot closer to him and lightly kiss his bearded chin. “Like I don’t know how I would’ve gotten through today without you. Like I love you a lot.”

Ashton’s eyes shine fondly at you through the darkness. "I'm happy to hear that, there were a few times today I wasn't sure if you still liked me," he cracks. You poke him and he kisses your pouted lips. "I love you too, by the way."

You finish getting ready for bed and as you blow out the candles around the room, Ash instinctively moves closer to the edge of the bed; he's sure you'll want to sleep as far apart as possible. "Is it supposed to be this hot again tomorrow?" He asks.

"Yup," you answer, surprisingly unbothered, getting back in bed.

He frowns. "What do you think we should do?"

You surprise him again by curling into him, tangling your legs with his. "We've got all day and half a bag of ice left," you grin mischievously. "I think we'll be fine."

—-

Tag list: @cal-puddies @mymindwide @suchalonelysunflower @pxrxmoore  @loveroflrh @ghostofmashton @sexgodashton @feliznavidaddycal  @castaway-cashton @boomerash @cashtonasfuck @megz1985 @ashdork-irwin @ashtonangst @angelicfluffs @findingliam-o  @abadaftertaste

Click here if you’d like to be tagged for future fics and click here if your name is on my list but crossed out (Tumblr won’t let me @ you) 

[fairylightsandchai]

The Internship - Part 2

A/N: Hello, again! Just popping in again to say that I know I don’t usually post fanfic here, but I really wanted to take part in @darkficsyouneveraskedfor​‘s Pre-Code Challenge! Just ignore this if you don’t follow me for fanfiction. :) Also, I’ll be adding tags in a reblog. 

Read Part One Here!

As a side note, I’ve made a new blog since writing this dedicated to fanfic. If you wanna check it out, click here!

Pairings:  Dark!Professor!Steve Rogers x Reader

Words: >10K

Summary:  You are a student in the former-Captain America’s American History class, and you soon notice that Professor Rogers has been paying more than a professional amount of attention to you. But when he approaches you with an internship opportunity that’s too good to be true, how can you say no?

(A/N: This fic contains non-con elements, stalking, and manipulation, and this part will inclue rape, breeding kink, and kidnapping. It is also inspired by The Wild Party, a film from 1929. I hope you enjoy, and please let me know what you think.)

You let out a curse as your hand fumbled around inside of your purse; you professor would be there any second to pick you up, and your phone was nowhere to be found. You could’ve sworn that you’d set it down on your nightstand to charge, but it hadn’t been there that morning, and after spending the better part of an hour looking for it, you were beginning to give up hope.

           A knock sounded at your door and you swore again, finally setting your purse down next to your packed suitcase and hurrying to answer it. On its other side stood Steve, a smile on his face and a bouquet of flowers in his hand. He was dressed much more casually than you’d ever seen him before, wearing a pair of dark jeans, a white t-shirt, and a brown leather jacket.

           Staring between him and the bundle of daisies, you blinked once, twice before finally finding your voice again.

           “Steve! I… Are those for me?” you asked, and he let out a soft laugh.

           “Nah, they’re for the other girl who lives here,” he joked.

           “I’m sure she’s very grateful,” you managed, taking the bouquet from him and giving it a sniff. “What’s the occasion?”

           “Well,” he began, following you into your apartment as you went to locate a vase, “I know that you had your reservations about joining me, and I wanted to get you a little something for agreeing to the internship.”

           “Oh.” You finally found an old pitcher that you’d never before used and started filling it with water, watching Steve out of the corner of your eye. He seemed right at home, browsing your book collection with his hands in his pockets as he skimmed the titles. “Well thank you! They’re beautiful.”

           After setting the daisies into the water, you turned to face your professor.

           “So… Are you ready to head out?” you asked, and he quickly turned his attention back to you.

           “Sure am.”

           Before you could protest, he walked over to your suitcase and picked it up, not even batting an eye at how heavy it was. You scurried over to pick your purse up and follow him out of your apartment.

           “I might need to stop at a Best Buy on the way,” you told him as you locked the door. “I can’t seem to find my phone…”

           “You can’t go without it for a week?”

           “I mean… I can, but I would rather not have to,” you explained. “My mom might start to worry if I don’t keep in touch.”

           “Well how about you use my phone? I would hate for your family to be concerned.”

           You followed him to his car, surprised at how sleek and modern it looked; it had to be worth more than a couple years of your rent.

           “Are you sure? It won’t be too much of a bother?” you asked, moving to open the passenger door. Steve’s hand shot out faster than yours, though, opening it for you with a smile.

           “It would be no trouble at all, (Y/N),” he assured you.

           With a quiet “thank you”, you slid into your seat, flinching when Steve closed the door behind you. As you sank into the dark leather beneath you, you wondered if it was too late to turn back. You couldn’t get that meeting in his office out of your head; the way his voice had hardened, the way his face had turned stormy when you hadn’t thanked him initially, it still sent shivers down your spine. Steve had spent years as America’s ‘golden boy’, but you couldn’t shake the suspicion that there could be a darker side of him just beneath the surface.

           You jolted in your seat when you heard his door open, and you watched as he climbed into the driver’s side, his weight making the car shift as he settled in.

           After flashing a small smile your way, he pressed a button and the car started, its engine purring quietly. You were both silent as you made your way to the interstate, your apartment fading into the distance in the rear-view mirror. It was only after the car was on the highway that Steve glanced your way again.

           “You can put on the radio, if you’d like. We have a good hour of driving ahead of us, and that’s if traffic isn’t too crazy.”

           You sighed; traffic in the city was always crazy.

           You fiddled with the radio, eventually finding a station that you liked and turning it down to a low volume, just wanting some background noise.

           “Hey, I actually know this song,” Steve smiled. “Doesn’t happen too often these days; most of the music I listen to is on the records I have at home.”

           You smiled a little at that; some of the things he said really made him sound like a grandpa.

           “I like the oldies, too,” you told him, head turning to look out your window. “Do you have a favorite band?”

           Steve thought about it for a second, his thumbs tapping absentmindedly against the steering wheel.

           “Well… You’ve probably never heard of them, but I really liked The Ink Spots back in the day. Oh, and Frank Sinatra is pretty hard to beat.”

           “I happen to enjoy Sinatra myself,” you said. “I don’t know a lot of his music by name, but he has a really distinct voice.”

           “That’s true,” Steve smiled. “…You know, you have a really distinct voice, too.”

           Well, that came out of nowhere. You chuckled a little, feeling your cheeks heat up.

           “I…don’t think so,” you tried to dismiss him.

           “No, I mean it,” he insisted. “I really like your speaking voice; I imagine you’re a nice singer, too.”

           “You are… so wrong,” you informed him. “My singing voice sounds like a cat being boiled.”

           He threw his head back, his shoulders shaking with the force of his laugh.

           “And just how do you know what that sounds like?” he asked you, glancing away from the road to raise an eyebrow at you.

           You just shrugged, your smile fading slowly as you looked down at your lap.

           “Why do you do that?” you heard yourself saying.

           “Do what?”

           “Compliment me so much,” you clarified, not daring to look his way. “You always have something nice to say about me. Why?”

           It took Steve a few moments to answer, evidently pondering over his words.

           “Well,” he finally said, “I suppose I’m just used to saying what’s on my mind. Everything I’ve told you has been true, you know.”

           You felt something in your chest flutter, and you chewed on your lip as you cranked the radio louder. It wasn’t necessarily the words he’d spoken just now that unsettled you; no, it was the way he’d said them: softly, earnestly, in a tone that you don’t just use with a student or a friend. You tried to push that thought away, tried to write it off as ridiculous; he was Captain America. Why and how would he ever develop feelings for someone like you?

           The majority of the car ride passed in silence, and you watched the sun sink lower into the sky. He’d picked you up in the middle of the afternoon, and as the winter dragged on, the days were getting shorter and shorter. So when you finally made it into Brooklyn, the sky was awash in light pinks and oranges; the sun would be going down in about two hours.

           “So, I was thinking,” Steve finally spoke up, setting his right hand on the gear shift, “that we could stop for an early dinner before heading to our hotel room. I know a great pizza place close by.”

           His pinky was just barely resting against your thigh as he spoke, and even that tiny point of contact was enough to make you uncomfortable. You pressed your thighs together, putting some distance between your leg and his hand, and you thought that you saw his jaw clench at the motion.

           “U-um,” you finally spoke up, realizing he was still waiting for an answer, “yeah, that sounds good. I could go for some pizza.”

           With a nod of his head, he turned his turn signal on, turning down the next road. In no time, he’d parked the car in a parking garage and led you out onto a street. When you reached a brick building with a sign that said Lucali on it, he held open the door for you, waving you in before him.

           The smell of Italian food immediately washed over you, and you almost let out a moan as you deeply inhaled. A young, sweet-looking hostess walked to the two of you instantly, doing a double take when she saw the man you were with.

           Grabbing a few menus, she, for her credit, quickly got over her moment of being star-struck.

           “Good evening; table for two?”

           “That’d be great,” Steve said, giving her one of his trademark smiles. “We would like one in the back, if any are available.”

           “O-of course, Mr. Rogers,” she assured him, leading you both into a more secluded area. Jazz music was playing over the sound system, and as you sank into the booth you were led to, you noticed that every table had a small succulent on its surface.

           “Can I get you guys started with something to drink?” the nice girl asked, and you were about to say that you’d just take water when Steve interrupted you.

           “We’ll have a bottle of the house red blend,” he told her.

           “Oh, no,” you tried to say, “I don’t really want any wine-“

           The look Steve gave you stopped you dead in your tracks, and you were quickly taking back your words for a reason you couldn’t quite name.

           “U-um, that is, could I have a water with that?” you corrected yourself. Steve smirked, never taking his eyes off of you as the hostess hurried away.

           You squirmed in your chair, not daring to make eye contact with the man in front of you until he spoke your name softly.

           “Um… Yes?”

           “You know, I’d really like it if you were able to relax,” he said softly. “Sip some wine with me; try not to be so tense. Let yourself enjoy the evening.”

           Before you could reply, the hostess was back with your drinks, and you immediately chugged half of the glass of wine she’d poured for you – you would welcome anything that could take the edge off, at this point.

           “So,” Steve said, not touching his own glass, “I have a whole itinerary planned out for tomorrow. I thought we could start out by going to the building I grew up in; I was sure that they’d have tore it down by now, but apparently it’s still an apartment complex.”

           “We could even take some pictures,” you added, finishing off your glass. “They might be a nice inclusion to the chapter.”

           “That’s a great idea,” he smiled. “So, we’ll check it out and take some photos, and then we’ll go to Coney Island; Bucky and I used to go there all the time. Once, he made me ride this rollercoaster there until I got sick.” Steve laughed fondly at the memory. “But I got him back the next time and made him go on the tilt-a-whirl until he passed out.”

           You chuckled, feeling the wine start to tingle pleasantly through your veins.

           “Bucky? That was your best friend, right? The…the winter soldier?”

           Steve’s smile grew sad at the mention of that title, but he nodded his head, reaching over to your glass of water and taking a sip casually. If it weren’t for the wine, you were sure you’d have found that odd, but you didn’t even think twice about it.

           “He doesn’t like to be called that anymore,” he corrected you. “But he was known by that name once.”

           You were both silent as he poured you another glass, and you mumbled a quick ‘thank you’ before promptly sipping on it. The air between you felt awkward all of a sudden, and you regretted bringing up the tender subject.

           “So,” you spoke up, “what else is on your itinerary?”

           “Well…” Steve perked up, “I thought that we could head over to Central Park after Coney Island; it’s all the way in Manhattan, but I used to go there and draw when I was a kid.”

           “You like to draw?”

           “I sure do. It’s one of the things that I’ve been good at since before the serum.”

           “I’m sure that’s not true,” you assured him.

           “Oh, believe me, it is,” he grinned, and there was a softness in his eyes as he looked at you. “Other than getting in way over my head. I’ve always done that, too.”

           When the waitress came by your table, Steve ordered for the both of you, but you didn’t mind; he happened to order your favorite type of pizza, and you smiled at the coincidence. The wine was starting to make your head buzz, but you welcomed it over the constant anxiety you seemed to be facing these days.

           Your pizza came out surprisingly quick, right in the middle of a story you were telling Steve about your childhood. He was watching you so intently, his chin resting on his palm and his eyes sparkling with amusement. First one, then two more glasses of wine had been drunk (by only one of the people at your table), and when the bottle went empty he slid his still-full glass over for you to finish.

           The both of you were completely silent as you ate the pizza; it seemed that you both were hungry. You ate your fill before sitting back and watching Steve ate the majority of the meal as you sipped your wine; you’d never seen anybody eat that much pizza in one setting, but then again, you’d never dined with a super soldier before.

           The sun outside had completely disappeared by the time the two of you were finished, an entire bottle of wine sloshing in your belly as you stumbled out of the restaurant.

           “Woah there,” Steve chuckled, holding his arm out for you to support yourself on. “You ok?”

           “’M great,” you waved him off. “Just drank a little more than I was expecting to. You should’a stopped me at my second glass.”

           All Steve replied with was a deep chuckle, leading you back to the car and helping you into your seat. You blushed as he buckled your seatbelt for you, feeling like a child.

           “I can do it myself,” you tried to protest, but he batted your hands away when you reached for him.

           “I know you can. But I want to help you.”

           You huffed but made no attempt to further protest, settling in against the cushy seat as he started to drive you to the hotel. Your eyelids were slowly starting to feel heavier, and you jolted when you suddenly felt a hand descend on your shoulder.

           “Hey, doll,” Steve was saying, “We’re here. Wake up.”

           You blinked sluggishly; you hadn’t meant to drift off. Letting out a soft grunt, you opened your door and stood up on stiff legs. Your teacher smiled over at you as he unloaded your suitcases, handling all of the bags as he led you out of the parking garage and into one of the fanciest hotel lobbies you’d ever seen.

           Your shoes clicked against the marble flooring as you walked with Steve to the receptionist’s desk. The man behind the counter gave your professor a wide smile, not even sparing you a glance as he greeted the soldier.

           “Welcome, Mr. Rogers,” he grinned. “We are honored to have you staying with us, sir.”

           “Thank you,” he replied. “We have a reservation under-“

           “Rogers, yes. We have your room all set up.” The man handed Steve a keycard, and you wondered if he would start vibrating with how excited he was at having such a famous guest. “Please, do let us know if there’s anything we can do to make your stay more pleasant.”

           “I sure will; have a good evening.”

           With that, Steve gestured for you to walk into the nearby elevator before him, pressing the button for the 11th floor.

           “I was wondering if that guy was gonna kiss you,” you joked, and he threw his head back as he laughed.

           “I…am very glad he didn’t,” he sighed. “Wouldn’t wanna make you jealous.”

           Your eyes widened, but before you could say anything, the elevator dinged open and Steve was making a beeline down the hallway. You rushed to follow him to a door marked “1110”, and the first thought you had after he unlocked the door and led you inside was…there’s only one bed. The room was gorgeous, of course. Soft carpet flooring, white linens, dark wood furniture, and you passed a spacious, luxurious bathroom as you stepped further into the room.

           “Um… Steve?”

           He turned to you as he set your bags on the dresser, eyebrows raised.

           “Yeah?”

           “There, um… There’s only one bed.”

           “Oh,” he said, looking around at the bed as if only just then noticing it, “Yeah. All of the rooms with two were taken.”

           “…Um… Alright, then,” you said, starting to sober up from the wine.

           Walking over to the bed, you pulled off one of the pillows and dropped it to the floor, gripping the comforter and moving to pull it off of the mattress.

           “What are you doing?”

           You met Steve’s eyes, halting in your movements.

           “I’m making myself a bed on the floor.”

           “The floor?”

           You nodded, wondering why it was so surprising.

           “Yeah, I don’t mind sleeping on the floor,” you said. “You paid for the room, so you deserve the bed.”

           “…Why don’t we just share it?”

           You felt your cheeks heat up at his question, feeling like a deer in headlights as he stared at you.

           “U-um, well… It’s just that you, um… you’re my teacher,” you explained, feeling dumb as you said so. “Wouldn’t that be…inappropriate?”

           “Oh, c’mon, doll,” Steve sighed, setting his hands on his hips. “We’re both adults. You don’t need to be so immature about this.”

           Your eyes were round, and your mouth hung open, not knowing what to say to that. Your chest tightened at the feeling of disappointment, for some reason feeling sick at the thought of Steve thinking of you as ‘immature’.

           “I…  I’m sorry,” you stuttered, voice small. “I’m just…going to put my pajamas on.”

           You opened your suitcase hurriedly and snatched the first tank top and pajama pants you saw before rushing into the bathroom, feeling tears prick at the corners of your eyes. You took your time dressing, not wanting to venture back out into the bedroom to face him again; why did he bother you so much? Why did you care about what he thought?

           Letting out a deep sigh, you looked at yourself in the mirror, heart sinking when you saw your shirt. Or, rather, what was showing straight through your shirt. Your nipples were clearly visible through the thin material of your white tank top, and for a second you pondered putting on your bra again. But it was stark black, sure to show through even more blatantly than your nipples.

           Staring up at the ceiling, you briefly wondered if there was some higher power out there who just liked watching you squirm, scattering awkward, embarrassing moments throughout your life like a child throwing confetti.

           Whatever, you decided, gathering up your dirty clothes and holding them against your chest. Steve thought you were immature, anyways. He probably wouldn’t spare your nipples a second glance, right?

           …Right?

           Summoning your courage, you opened the door and walked out, not once glancing over at your teacher as you headed to your suitcase. Not even when you heard him sigh and sit up straighter on the bed.

           “Doll, I didn’t mean to be mean earlier,” he was saying as you shoved the bundle in your hands into the bag. “You’re very mature for your age, and I-“

           You turned around, mouth open to speak, but you stopped when Steve’s words were cut off by a deep inhale. You glanced up shyly, just in time to see his eyes fly up from your chest to your face, his eyes a bit wide as he tried to keep his gaze fixed on yours.

           For the first time since walking back into the bedroom, you realized that he was only wearing a pair of grey sweatpants, his muscles on full display as he lounged against the headboard. You hoped he didn’t see how your thighs clenched together at the sight, but his eyes caught every movement you made as you stood before him.

           “I…” he cleared his throat, “I’m sorry for calling you immature earlier.”

           You nodded, tearing your eyes away from his pectorals as you padded over to your side of the bed. Not daring to make any eye contact, you lifted the sheets, snuggling down into them and turning onto your side. You were faced away from him as you spoke next.

           “It’s ok,” you said. “I think I’m going to go to bed now.”

           “Alright, doll,” Steve murmured. “Goodnight.”

           A few moments later, you felt his weight leave the bed as he got up to turn off all the lights. Once the room was completely dark, you felt the bed dip again, and you curled up into a ball to try and take up as little space as possible.

           For a long while, you could only hear your own breathing, and one by one your muscles were beginning to relax. Just as you were on the edge of sleep, though, you heard sheets sliding against skin, and then a pair of impossibly strong arms were wrapping themselves around you.

           Your breath caught in your throat, and for a second you froze. Your heart was pounding, and you felt Steve’s hot breath against the back of your neck. Wondering if he was just latching onto you in his sleep, you tried scooting away, wriggling in his iron-like grip. But despite your best efforts, he wouldn’t budge.

           “Steve,” you whispered, “can you-“

           “Stop,” he murmured, his nose nuzzling into the side of your neck. “Just be still.”

           Your eyes widened, and you felt a rising tide of panic swell in your chest. Once more, you tried to distance yourself from him, reaching back behind you to try and push against his chest, but he only tightened his grip on you, squeezing you until it was beginning to grow harder to breathe.

           “Stay. Still,” he growled, giving you one hard shake.

           You whimpered at his tone, too shocked to say anything else. Limply, you let your hands fall back to your side, feeling the fight leave your body like water going down a drain.

           “Good girl.”

           Letting out shaky breaths, you forced your eyes to close and willed your breathing to slow down. Despite your discomfort, your exhaustion was getting the best of you, and your eyelids were once more growing heavy. Sleep was beginning to overtake you, and in the last moments before it completely won you over, you realized how warm Steve was, how nice it felt to be in someone’s arms. In any other situation, you could see yourself enjoying this.

           But tonight was different. Tonight, you were trapped, and as nice as your body felt, your mind was at war with itself as you finally succumbed to sleep.

­­­­­­­­__________

           You woke up impossibly warm. There was a comforting weight on top of you, and the pillow beneath your head was so soft, providing just the right amount of support. It was so unlike your own bed back home, filled with lumps and-

           Your breath caught in your throat as the events of the night before came flooding back to you. Your eyes flew open, falling to the blonde head currently resting against your chest – Steve. He seemed to be asleep, his arm wrapped around your stomach and his lips slightly parted. From this angle you could see how long his eyelashes were, and for a brief moment you felt a flutter of jealousy.

           But that feeling soon left when he took in a deep breath through his nose, his spine stretching and his arm flexing against you. You felt his thumb lazily trace circles against your side as he let out a yawn.

           “Good morning,” he sighed, eyes still closed.

           You gulped, feeling that familiar spike of fear inside you.

           “Good m-morning,” you whispered back. You made to swing your legs over the side of the bed, but his arm only tightened in its grip.

           Finally, he opened his eyes and looked up at you.

           “Where are you going,” he asked, voice suddenly devoid of all sleepiness.

           “Just to the bathroom,” you murmured, and thankfully, he let you go, rolling onto his back to allow you to stand up.

           You felt his eyes on you the entire time it took for you to cross the room, and you let out a sigh of relief once there was a door separating you. A door which, you knew, he could easily put his fist through if he wanted; you’d always been aware of his strength, but it hadn’t seemed real to you until you’d felt his arms caging you in against him.

           As you went about your business, you belatedly came to the realization that there was no explaining his actions anymore. You could no longer shake away the feelings of unease Steve arose within you; you could no longer call yourself ridiculous for not feeling safe with Captain America, of all people. As you washed your face and considered your countenance in the mirror, you felt your world came to a screeching halt as you accepted the fact that had been right in front of you the entire time.

           Steve wanted you.

           After gathering up your courage, you stepped out of the bathroom to find Steve already up and dressed in a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt. He gave you a soft smile when your eyes met, but now you could see the steel behind it.

           “I figured we could just eat breakfast here,” he told you, using such a nonchalant tone that for a second you forgot entirely about last night. “They have a buffet downstairs. After that we can head to my old stompin’ grounds and take some pictures.”

           “Th-that sounds good,” you assured him, cautiously walking over to your suitcase. “Is it ok if I take a shower first?”

           “Of course it is. You want me to get out of your hair, leave you with the room to yourself? You can just come downstairs and meet me in the dining hall when you’re all set.”

           “Oh.” You blinked in surprise. “Um, yeah, that would be great.”

           Steve gave you another warm little smile, setting his hand on your shoulder as he walked past you.

           “I’ll be waiting for you.”

           You watched him leave, waiting to hear the door click completely shut before grabbing everything you needed from your suitcase and heading back into the bathroom. You took your time in the shower, wondering what exactly you should do about all of this. You couldn’t spend an entire week with Steve, not if he continued acting so…weird around you.

           As you applied your makeup and dried your hair, you reasoned that, yes, Steve definitely had…some kind of feelings for you. Maybe it was a crush; maybe it was something more. Or maybe he just wanted to get in your pants. Either way, you had to tell him that his feelings weren’t returned, that you wanted to end the trip early. He could find another intern to finish out the week.

           For now, you decided, you would do what he wanted for today; you would go with him to his old house and take notes; you would go to Coney Island with him. But as soon as he mentioned going back to the hotel, you would lay it all out for him and get an Uber back to your apartment.

           Feeling determined, you grabbed your purse and headed down to the ground floor, almost getting lost in the vast hotel several times before you were able to locate the dining hall. Upon entering the large room, you saw Steve sitting at a table, tapping away at his phone with an already-empty plate. When he looked up at saw you, though, he hurriedly shoved the phone into his pocket and gave you a smile.

           “You look great,” he said as you passed him on the way to the buffet.

           All you could manage was a weak smile for him as you went about assembling a plate for yourself, even though you really didn’t have an appetite. You settled on some fruit salad and a muffin, grabbing a cup of orange juice as you went back to the table.

           “That’s all you’re gonna eat?” Steve asked, his eyebrows knitting together in concern. You put on a false smile and nodded as you picked at your food.

           “I’m not really hungry this morning.”

           He didn’t offer any protest as you ate, and as soon as you were done he ushered you out into the parking garage. The car ride to his old home was mostly silent, leaving you to watch the streets of Brooklyn go by.

           “This town has really changed,” Steve eventually sighed. “It’s always weird coming back here.”

           You were quiet for a few moments, thinking about what to say. He’d sounded strangely…sad.

           “You don’t think it’s changed for the best?” you finally spoke.

           “Well… I dunno. Yes and no, I think. Because modern technology is great; there’s no disputing the accomplishments we’ve made with it. But this city used to be…smaller. And not just in size; it used to be that each street had its own flavor, its own feel to it. Now, everything is so commercialized that it doesn’t even seem real anymore.”

           “…I’m sorry, Steve,” you muttered, feeling genuine sympathy for him despite how he’d made you feel. “I can’t imagine what you’ve gone through.”

           Steve nodded, parallel parking the car onto the side of the road.

           “I wouldn’t want you to, doll. The things I’ve seen sure can change a person.”

           With that, he hopped out of the car, jogging around to open your door for you. As you stepped out onto the sidewalk, you saw a three-story brick building right in front of you. The first floor was dedicated to a Chinese restaurant and, beside it, a used bookstore, but it appeared that the top two floors were used for housing.

           “That window,” Steve said, leaning closer to point it out to you, “used to be in my bedroom. And the downstairs was a clothing store back then. My mom was a tailor there when I was little, before she became a nurse.”

           He led you around the building into an alleyway, a melancholy smile on his face. The alley was not unlike any other you’d seen; trash was strewn about and trashcans were lined up against the far wall. You heard music drifting out of an open window somewhere above you, though, and some of the windows had flower boxes with overflowing ivy inside of them. Steve paused at the foot of an old stairway made of iron, resting one of his feet on the bottom step and rubbing his hand up and down its rail.

           “I used to climb these stairs every day,” he said wistfully. “And me and Bucky would play in the alleyway; I could always beat him at jacks.”

           You gave him a small smile, walking closer to him.

           “Can I borrow your phone?” you asked. “For the pictures.”

           “Oh, right.” He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a StarkPhone, handing it to you. He made to walk away from the steps, but you held one of your hands out.

           “No, stay there,” you instructed. “Look up at your old apartment, and uh…act natural.”

           He chuckled, moving back to his position next to the stairwell.

           “Whatever you say, Miss Photographer.”

           You snapped a few photos from different angles, liking especially one where he had his back to the camera, his profile visible as he looked up at his old front door. You quickly set a black-and-white filter over it before handing him back the device.

           “I think those all look good,” you said. “Tell me what you think.”

           Steve flipped through the photos, lingering on the one you’d made black and white.

           “These are great,” he praised you. “But they’d look much better with you in them with me.”

           He gave you a wink as he tucked the phone back into his pocket, gesturing for you to follow him back to the car before you had the chance to say anything more.

           “C’mon, it’s been decades since I’ve gone to Coney Island. I wanna see how different it is these days.”

           The rest of the day was strangely…pleasant, in spite of being with a man you knew to have some kind of strange fascination with you. Going to Coney Island with Steve kind of made you feel like a kid again. He wouldn’t go on any of the rides, but he did play some of the carnival games with you. It was his idea.

           “C’mon, we can’t come here and not have at least a little bit of fun,” he’d cajoled. You’d given in, following him to the ring toss stall.

           After that, you began to loosen up a little bit. The games were fun, despite how rigged they clearly were. Steve, though, was unsurprisingly amazing at them; he’d even broken the Strong Man game. When he’d brought the hammer down onto the button, not only did the bell ring, but it cracked in half. He’d grinned and picked a huge teddy bear off of the rack, handing it to you proudly, and you hadn’t been able to do anything but laugh and accept it with a smile.

           After stopping to get a hot dog (or three hot dogs for Steve), you’d piled back into his car, barely able to fit the bear into the backseat. On the ride to Central Park, you skimmed through Steve’s phone, picking out your favorite of the photos you’d taken at the amusement park. You laughed and showed him the one you’d taken just after he broke the game; in the picture his eyes were wide as he looked back at you sheepishly.

           When you got to the park and managed to find a parking space close by, you sensed a distinct shift in Steve’s mood. As you got out and let him guide you to the spot in the park he used to visit as a child, you felt his eyes on you constantly, and your small talk puttered out into dead silence. You felt the back of your neck prickle with discomfort as you noticed the path you were walking on becoming less and less crowded, leaving you alone with the super soldier.

           You had the feeling that something bad was about to happen.

           Eventually, the two of you came to a shady part of the path where the tree branches hung low, shielding the asphalt underfoot from sunlight. There was a small, old-looking bridge in front of you, and Steve paused when the two of you were standing overtop of it.

           “Why are we stopping?” you asked, turning to him. “Is this the place?”

           Steve didn’t answer, looking down at his hands where they rested against the bridge. You felt that familiar sense of anxiety rising up inside of you, and you fidgeted as you watched him carefully.

           “You know, I’ve thought about this moment for a while, now,” he finally said, “But hell, I’m still nervous.” He gave you a sheepish smile, but it did nothing to make you feel better. “I guess you just have that effect on me.”

           You gulped, clenching your fists at your sides.

           “Steve, what…what are you talking about?”

           “I think you know, doll.” He stepped closer to you, his chest almost touching yours. “I think you’ve known for a while.

           “You must know that I’m crazy about you by now.”

           You looked down, not able to meet his eyes, but his hand went under your chin and guided your face back up towards him.

           “Hey, look at me, baby. I-“

           “No, please don’t,” you whispered, shaking your head. “Steve, we can’t-“

           “I love you.”

           Your heart sank upon hearing those words, and despite how he’d treated you up to this point, it broke your heart to see how hopeful his expression was.

           “Steve, I…” You paused, and he eagerly nodded, hoping to hear something you knew you couldn’t say. “We can’t do this. You’re my teacher, and I’m your student. We could both get in huge trouble.”

           You watched the hopeful glimmer in his eyes fade away, replaced with disappointment as his face fell.

           “But…what if you weren’t my student?” he suddenly asked.

           You scrunched up your eyebrows questioningly.

           “What do you mean?”

           “(Y/N), you don’t have to go to school anymore,” he told you in a pleading voice. “I…I could take care of you. You could do your writing from home, and I could provide for us and our family. I know that you have your own plans, but now you don’t have to-“

           “Our family? Steve, I’m so… I’m confused. You expect me to just quit everything and, what? Be your housewife?”

           Steve frowned at your tone, setting a hand on your shoulder. You tried to move it away from him, but his grip was like iron.

           “Doll, I know that this is sudden, but I also know that I can make you happy. And you can’t deny that you have the same feelings that I do. I can hear your heart pounding as we speak-“

           “That’s because I’m afraid, Steve! I hardly even know you, and the only feelings you’ve given me so far have been fear and discomfort. You can’t just fucking decide that-“

           His grip on you tightened, causing you to let out a yelp of pain.

           “Watch your language, baby,” he warned you, voice hard as steel. “I won’t have you speaking to me that way. Not after everything I’ve done for you.”

           “What you’ve done for me?! You haven’t-“

           “I changed my whole life for you,” he spat, his face getting closer and closer to yours. “I moved across town into a shitty matchbox apartment just to be closer to you. I got you into my class so we could properly meet one another. I’ve given you my heart, (Y/N), and I’m ready to give you the life you’ve always wanted!”            Your head spun with his revelation of just how crazy he was. You wanted to scream in his face; you wanted to tell him just how insane he was. But you knew that wasn’t the smart thing to do in this situation, and if you wanted to make it out of this, you would have to be smart. He was stronger than you, and you were alone with no one else in sight; you couldn’t fight your way out of this.

           “S-Steve,” you whispered, forcing yourself to look into his eyes. “Steve, please. I’m sorry for being so…rude. Just… Can we talk about this? Maybe at the hotel? All of this is so sudden, just like you said. I need to think it through.” You silently willed him to believe what you were saying; if you could just make it back to the street you could try and find help.

           He seemed to turn over your words, hesitating before finally loosening his grip on you.

           “…Okay, doll,” he nodded, taking a step back. “We can talk about this. But you’d better watch the tone you take with me. Now let’s-“

           He was cut off by the sound of a ringtone emanating from his back pocket – more specifically, your ringtone. You both froze for a long moment before Steve slowly reached for it, and your blood ran cold when you saw its familiar phone case. It wasn’t the StarkPhone you’d been borrowing from your teacher all day; no, that was your phone. The one that you hadn’t been able to find yesterday.

           And Steve had it.

           “…I’m sorry about that,” he sighed, crushing the device in his palm as if it were made of paper mache. “I know that this looks bad… I was gonna give it back to you after our week together.”

           All of your reason went out the window, and on shaky legs you turned and did the only thing your brain could think about in that moment.

           You ran.

           You could hear Steve’s footfalls behind you, moving impossibly fast, and you let out a scream, making your voice as loud as possible and willing your legs to move faster. Within seconds though, his vice-like arms were around you, one of his massive palms pressing against your mouth and muffling your cries.

           “Cut it out right now,” he demanded. “You know you can’t win this fight.”

           You didn’t faulter in your frenzied movements, though, still kicking your legs blindly. It was only until you felt his hand move from your mouth to your throat that you went still, your vision slowly going black at the corners as it became harder to breathe.

           You were still trying to scream, though, begging anyone who could possibly hear you for help even as your voice became thin and strained. All too soon, though, you felt something hard hit you in the back of the head, and you felt yourself sinking into unconsciousness.

           “Shh, it’s ok,” you thought you heard Steve say. “I’m here, baby. I’m here.”

           And then everything went black.

________

           The first thing you became aware of as you woke up was how sore you felt. Your head was pounding, your mouth was dry, and your arms were cramping. With a low moan, you tried to move them, but something around your wrists was stopping you.

           “Shhh, doll, you’re ok. I’m so glad you’re waking up.”

           Slowly, your eyes opened and you found yourself face to face with Steve. Sucking in a deep breath, you turned and saw your wrists tied to a bedframe with a thin but strong length of rope. Judging by the rope burn on your skin and the soreness in your muscles, you’d been tied up in that position for a while.

           “I was so afraid I’d hit you too hard,” Steve was going on, perched right next to your hip on the mattress. “I’m sorry that I had to do that, but to be fair, you weren’t leaving me much of a choice.”

           Your eyes widened as you took in the room you were trapped in. The walls and floor were made out of concrete, and there were no windows in sight. There were, however, bookshelves lining an entire wall to your left, and there was a brown leather couch and two matching armchairs placed in front of them. A staircase sat in the corner to your right, and there were two visible doors in the room – one right in front of you and one to the right.

           “Doll? You okay there? Your heart is beating faster than a steam engine.”

           You turned back to face Steve so quickly that your head spun with the movement.

           “S-Steve?” Your voice was brittle, and you just then realized how much your throat hurt.

           “Oh, here, hon. Sip some water; it should help your throat feel better.” Steve stood up and retrieved a glass of water from the nightstand before once more taking his place beside you and holding it to your lips. You tried to lift your head up off the pillow as much as possible, but some of it still dribbled down your chin.

           After you’d drank your fill, Steve put the glass back on the table and leaned over you, letting one of his hands rest on your hip while the other one wiped away the water you’d spilled.

           “There you go. That feel any better?”

           You warily nodded, completely unsettled by the pleasant little smile he was wearing on his face.

           “Steve,” you tried once again. “Where am I?”

           “Don’t worry about that,” he said, tracing your cheekbone with his thumb while his other hand drew lazy circles against your hip. “You’re safe.”

           You struggled once more against your ties, but all you accomplished was aggravating your already raw skin. Steve sighed and pulled away, standing up and putting his hands on his hips.

           “Doll, I’ve already warned you about your attitude,” he chided. “If you calm down, I’ll untie you, but first you’ve gotta settle down and behave. Understood?”

           You felt tears spring to your eyes as you realized just how helpless you were in this situation, but you blinked them away as you nodded. You stopped struggling and lay still.

           “I-I understand.”

           “Good girl. Now, I’ll untie you, but if you try to run or do anything stupid, I won’t hesitate to tie you up again and leave you like that for the next week. Got it?” When you nodded your head, Steve tsked, shaking his head. “You need to do better than that. Say, ‘I promise not to run, Steve.’”

           “I-I promise not to run, Steve,” you recited, feeling a tear slide down your cheek.

           His face softened at that, and he leaned over you to wipe it away.

           “Don’t cry, baby. You’re safe here, remember? The last thing I wanna do is hurt you.”

           Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a pocketknife, and you winced as he gripped the rope. With quick, deft movements, he severed both chords, and as soon as you were free you scrambled as far away from him on the bed as possible, rubbing the sore skin of your wrists while drawing your knees up to your chin. Steve sighed at your response, but all he did was sit down on the bed again.

           “Now, you said you wanted to talk earlier, right? So let’s talk. But this time, watch your tone; you’re already due for a punishment for how you spoke to me earlier.”

           You felt yourself blanch at his tone, hugging your knees tighter as you watched him; you didn’t want to talk. You didn’t even know what to say, other than to voice the one question echoing in your mind.

           “…Why?” you finally asked. “Why are you doing this?”

           “Because I love you, doll,” was his immediate response. “I know that you’re confused. I know that you’re scared, and I can understand that. Love is…scary; it’s terrifying. But I know that if you just give me a chance, you’ll see how happy we can be together.”

           You shook your head, trying to trample down the anger you felt welling up inside you; yelling at him would get you nowhere.

           “Steve…this isn’t the way to go about this,” you carefully said. “I don’t want a relationship right now. And it’s not about you; I don’t want a relationship with anybody until I’m done with college. Please, just…let me go, and I promise I won’t tell anyone, ok? We can even go on a proper date after I graduate if you still want to. Just please, please, let me go. You don’t want to do this.”

           Steve’s lips stretched into a humorless smile, and he let out a cold chuckle.

           “I don’t want this, huh? What do you know about what I want? As a matter of fact, what has anyone ever known about what I want? Or what’s more, when have they cared?

           “I never wanted to be this,” he growled, gesturing down at his body. “I didn’t want to be some super soldier; I just wanted to serve my country. I never wanted to wake up in a century I didn’t belong in. I didn’t want to fight against an alien army; I didn’t want to watch half of my friends turn to dust; I didn’t want to see the first woman I ever loved slowly die of an old age I never got to reach.

           “But I did it. I did all of that, and now? I’m tired of doing shit I don’t wanna do just because it’s what’s right. Just this once, I want something for myself. Someone for myself. I want to be happy. And baby, right now, you’re what I need to be happy.

           “I’ve given everything away, and now I’m going to collect on what I’ve rightfully fucking earned.”

           The entire time he was talking, his gaze had gone darker and darker as his voice rose, and now he stood up, marching to the side of the bed you were resting on and pulling you up with both hands wrapped around your biceps. You felt yourself being lifted completely into the air, but before you could push him away, he was kissing you.

           His lips were unforgiving as they moved against yours, his tongue shoving itself inside of your mouth ungracefully. You whimpered, pressing your hands against his chest and wriggling your body in his grip. He made no signs of budging, though, only tightening his grip on you.

           Desperate to separate yourself from him, you bit down on his tongue, feeling yourself being suddenly dropped to the hard floor as Steve let out a howl. You thought you saw blood trickle down from his lips as you staggered to your feet, but you tore your eyes away from him and quickly started rushing to the stairs. Taking two steps at a time, you climbed them until you reached the steel door at their top.

           With shaky hands, you turned its handle, but it didn’t move so much as an inch. Feeling your heart plummet to your toes, you uselessly flung yourself against it, vaguely aware of your own screaming.

           Letting out a sob, you pressed your back against the cold steel, looking down to see Steve wiping a small trail of blood off of his chin. He hadn’t moved from his spot, and in spite of his obvious pain, there was a smirk on his lips. There was no mistaking the anger in his eyes, though.

           “Get your ass,” he growled, drawing himself to his full height, “down those fucking stairs.”

           Your entire body was trembling as you realized how helpless you were.

           “NOW,” Steve suddenly shouted, and you jolted at the sound.

           Moving as if in a daze, you descended the stairs, a cold numbness spreading throughout your body as you realized you were well and truly trapped. When you stood in front of Steve once again, you felt his hand grip your chin harshly, yanking your face closer to his.

           “That,” he growled, “was a stupid thing to do.”

           He suddenly spun you around and pushed you, and you let out a shriek as you landed on the mattress. He didn’t give your body a chance to stop bouncing before he was on you, tearing at your shirt until you felt the material rip.

           “I tried to do this the right way,” he was muttering, almost to himself. “I waited for months. I watched you; I was nice to you. I had an entire evening planned for you after the park if you’d have just said yes.”

           You cried out as he yanked your pants down your legs, and you blindly kicked at him as you sobbed. With harsh, jerky movements, he pushed them apart and settled his hips over yours, settling his weight over you until you were pinned.

           “I was gonna be gentle with you,” he continued on, running his hands over your body, squeezing your breasts so hard through your bra that you yelped. “I was going to make your first time so special, baby. But then you had to go and fuck it all up.”

           Your body froze for a second, a wave of terror crashing over you at his implications. Steve used your pause as an opportunity to push his jeans down, taking his underwear with them. You tried your best not to look down at his body as he took his shirt off, but you’d still caught a glance at what lay in store for you.

           His cock was enormous, bigger than any you’d seen in any porn, and you squeezed your legs together at the thought of it inside your body. It wouldn’t fit; there was no way.

           “Please, Steve,” you were babbling, once more trying to push him away. “Please, it’s gonna hurt so bad; please, I don’t want this to be my first time. Steve, I-“

           His hand descended down over your mouth, gritting his teeth as his other hand tore off your bra.

           “I hope it does hurt, doll,” he growled. “I hope you can’t walk straight for a week. I hope that every time you even think of running away from me again, every time you so much as move your legs, you feel me fucking into your tight, virgin pussy and remember who you belong to.”

           Suddenly you were being flipped over onto your stomach, and you gripped the sheets as you felt your panties being torn off. This was it, you thought, and you braced yourself as best you could.

           But when your legs weren’t pulled apart, when you didn’t feel his hands against you for a second, your eyes opened once more. You turned your head to look over your shoulder, only to see Steve’s hand  as it slapped your ass so hard you swore you saw stars.

           You buried your face in the blankets beneath you as he spanked you over and over again, sobbing as the pain radiated throughout your entire body. Every time you tried to crawl away from him, his hands would wrap around your hips and pull you right back to where he wanted your body.

           “Nuh-uh, baby,” he growled. “You need to take your God. Damn. Punishment.”

           Each word was punctuated with a spank, and you did nothing to stop your screams as you lost count somewhere around 15. You’d had no idea how strong he was before this; you’d thought you’d sensed it when he held you in his arms last night; you’d thought you’d seen it in his bulging muscles. But it was only now, as he was using his strength to hurt you, that you fully understood it.

           By the time he stopped, you were laying limp on your stomach, crying into the sheets and trying to think of something, anything other than the pain. But when you felt yourself being maneuvered up onto your knees, you felt your panic only increase.

           He gave you no warning before he shoved his cock inside of you, but even if he had said anything, you doubt you would have heard it over your own scream. Your walls were roughly stretched as he entered you, inch by aching inch. Your chest shook with your sobs as they mingled with his moan of pleasure. A part of you wondered how he could be feeling so good while you were in such pain, but all thought left you when he started moving his hips.

           You’d always known that your first time would be at least a little painful, but nothing could have prepared you for this. The pain seemed to radiate throughout your entire body, and you couldn’t even find it in yourself to struggle as his thrusts grew more regular in their rhythm.

           “Fuck, baby,” he moaned, his hands squeezing your hips. “I knew you would feel good, knew this pussy would be so good to me-“

           He cut himself off with another moan, shifting his hips so he could fuck deeper into you. You had your eyes squeezed shut the entire time, your nails biting into the skin of your palms as you willed the pain to go away. You tried to relax against him; you even tried to enjoy it, just to ease the pain. You were desperate for it to go away, and your cries only increased when Steve started to move faster.

           Whether it was out of pity or just his own sick amusement, he slowed in his rhythm just a bit, snapping his hips almost lazily as one of his hands trailed down your back.

           “Oh, I’m sorry baby,” he breathed, dragging his cock up and down your walls, hitting a spot inside of you that made your eyes fly wide open. “I forgot that you like it nice and slow at first, right?”

           You whined at his words; the pain was still present, but with him hitting against that spot that made colors dance behind your vision, pleasure was starting to build alongside it. You were somewhat aware that you were babbling, but you couldn’t even make out your own words as he hit that spot repeatedly.

           “I used to watch you, you know,” he grunted, reaching around your body to run his finger over your clit. You jolted at the sensation, inadvertently clenching around him. “I would watch you use that little pink toy you kept in your bedside table. I – fuck - memorized how you made yourself cum, knowing I could make you feel so much better than that tiny piece of plastic ever could.”

           As he started thrusting faster once more, his fingers sped up with him, rubbing up and down against your clit until your sobs slowly started transforming into moans.

           “See, doll? I fucking knew you would love this,” he said. “Knew you would see how you were made to be mine. I’ll fucking make you see.”

           Your eyes rolled as you felt yourself moving closer and closer to the edge, and from the shouts and half-grunted words of praise spilling from Steve’s lips, he was getting close, too. His hips were moving at a brutal pace, but you were starting to crave it even through the dull haze of pain. He was filling you up so well, hitting every corner and ridge inside of your pussy so perfectly, so completely; you did nothing to stop your moans from falling out of your lips, all of your fear and agony fading away until there was nothing but Steve and the pleasure he was bringing you.

           “Steve-!” you cried out, your hips moving against his of their own accord. “P-please-“ You weren’t sure if you were begging for him to stop or begging him not to, but as you reached the edge of your climax, you found that you didn’t care.

           “I know, baby,” he growled, “I know. I-I… Fuck!”

           Suddenly, his fingers were gone from your clit, and you let out a whine as your orgasm eluded you, slipping away right through your fingers. You felt something warm flood your pussy, though, and you looked over your shoulder to see Steve’s mouth open in a silent scream, pure bliss written across his features as he came inside of your abused pussy.

           Your eyes were wide open, silently pleading with him as you squirmed beneath his body, but when he opened his eyes and saw your sad, needy face, all he did was grin.

           “I knew you would be perfect, baby,” he panted, slowly pulling his cock out of you with a wince. You ignored the sensation of his cum leaking out of your body, trying to catch your breath between the sobs that were starting to return.

           “W-why…” you started to ask, but he just leaned in and pressed a kiss to your forehead.

           “Be a good girl for me next time, and I’ll let you cum.”

           You melted against the mattress and watched him dress with unseeing eyes, the pleasant feelings in your cunt starting to fade while slowly being replaced by a dull, throbbing ache that brought fresh tears to your eyes.

           “Now, I’m going to go out and get a few things from the store,” Steve spoke, his voice steady and neutral despite what he’d just done to you. “I’ll be back in a few hours. I want you to think about what you’ve done and have a nice apology waiting for me when I come home, okay?”

           When you didn’t respond, he turned to you and raised one threatening eyebrow, not looking away until you’d given him a shaky nod.

           “Good girl. I’ll be back soon, I promise.”

           After pulling his shoes on, he started climbing the stairs, pausing at the top to look back down at you with a deceptively warm, soft smile.

           “I love you, doll.”

           And with that, he left, leaving you with his cum cooling on your thighs.

[solastia]

Day 19

Break My Stride, Yoongi x Jungkook, ABO, 4/4 Chapters, 14k words

YOU KNOW MY DRAMATIC ASS SAVED THIS FOR A FRIDAY! If y'all thought my screeching was annoying before, be prepared for about 10x more screeching and indecipherable noises. As the very wise Deadpool once said, “MAXIMUM EFFORT!”

First off, congratulations because this was your first fic to reach 10k hits (and it’s now at 34K hits, whaaaa??!! A few hundred of those may possibly be from me...possibly...probably...most definitely! lmao)

You know my fave ship is Yoonmin (I don’t take shipping irl seriously, don’t come for me plz) but I absolutely LOVE the dynamics between Kookie and Yoongi in this fic. Your writing, the plot, the dialogue, the whole thing is just top tier deliciousness every step of the way. It is scrumptious, mouth watering, exquisite, uuugh *chef’s kiss* bellissimo!

Ok, LOTS OF SPOILERS BECAUSE THIS FIC IS MY EMOTIONAL SUPPORT FICTIONAL STORY AND Y’ALL CAN’T STOP ME, MUAHAHAHA!

In the beginning of the story, you create a sense of home for the audience. We feel like we know these characters, we get a sense that they’ve been a group of friends for a very long time, and they each hold a special part of each other’s lives, and it’s freaking beautiful.

“Yoongi shook his head and started picking the olives off his slice of pizza. When he turns to his right to give the olives away, he realizes why he’d felt something was wrong.”

You see! He hadn’t even realized that Kookie was missing, but he felt like something was off.

Oh! And I wanted to ask you about the idea for a mating run! I’ve never read anything like this before, it was an interesting concept to think about. And this would be Yoongi’s 8th run! Oh babey, he was just waiting for the right mate…

“He wasn’t sure what it was, but the image of Jungkook finding someone during the run made him feel…itchy.”

Our boi is already jealous at just the idea of Kookie finding a mate (other than him ofc, but he doesn’t know that yet, bwahahahaha!!)

“Good idea, you’re going to need all the rest you can get,” Seokjin says with an ominous smirk.”

I SHOULD GIVE YOU THE SAME WARNING SEOKJINNIE!!!

“There were even booth setups for merchandise and food.”

OMG, I could see Hobi or Jin buying some cheesy “I survived the 20__ Run and All I Got Was This Shirt”. Or maybe a beer cozy!

“No, he said that would be pointless because his mate’s a cheating cheater that plays dirty. He said the chances of them covering their scent were high. He’s making sure his den is ready,” Seokjin scoffed.

Yoongi accepted the drink Jimin handed him and chuckled. “Sounds like I might actually like them.”

“You have no idea,” Jin said with a snort”

Yoongi, are you so jaded, so blind by your general saltiness that you are not understanding the very obvious clues being thrown your way?!?!?! Kookie, where are you? Put this man in his place please!!

And then when he was told that Kook bought that house he’d had his eyes on for years, uughhh, I was hurting for our Yoonie!

“Yoongi suddenly felt like crying, but he settled for collapsing onto the bench and clenching his fist.”

AAAHHH! But wait a little while Yoongi, I promise all this hurt will be over soon!

“Suddenly, Namjoon growled menacingly, startling everyone. Hoseok looked over to the spot where Namjoon was steadily staring, curiosity in his gaze before it too hardened and he started glaring with bared teeth. A random city Alpha that had been approaching them instantly halted, hands out in surrender.”

HOW COULD I FORGET THIS SUB-PLOT!!! Jin was over there laughing at how oblivious Yoongi was, and he isn’t any better, is he?!? Imagine having Joon and Hobi scaring the competition away like that??!! I would take them home immediately!

“There’s a huge plush rug and plenty of blankets, big fluffy pillows, a little stash of food and entertainment. I even put scent blockers around so no one would smell anything coming from inside,” Yoongi preened as he thought of his perfect hideaway.

Yoongi would def be one to make his little den as comfortable as possible! But I just thought of something. In your earlier description of Yoongi’s apartment, he said it was a bit stark and lacked any real decor. BUT he went out of his way to make this den as comfortable as possible. He bought a string of fairy lights, and he had to go to the big city to get them! It’s almost like it was fate, or maybe deep down he knew that something was going to happen, and he was inadvertently nesting! (please insert “I’ve connected the dots” meme here)

“He was sure there were plenty of Alphas running around with those piercings and Kook’s ginormous honker of a nose.”

:|

Was it really Kook? Or is our boy so in love that he sees Kookie wherever he goes? Lmao!

“Yoongi was about to show this guy that he wasn’t someone to be messed with and he wouldn’t be dragged off to be someone’s good little Omega bitch. He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out the taser he’d packed just in case.”

OMG, Yoongi is not messing around, absolutely zero chill!

“It seemed presenting had changed him physically as well, shooting him up a couple inches so he towered over Yoongi even more than usual. His arms and legs were rippling with muscle that even the black tracksuit he was wearing couldn’t hide. His face was still the same though; the innocent grin an interesting contrast with the buff build.”

SIR!! My heart cannot take this punishment! And OFC he’s a Prime Alpha, Kookie doesn’t know how to half-ass anything!

“And just like he had a million times before, Yoongi gave in like the soft ass bitch he was.”

He really is soft for all of them!!! Yoongi will let them do whatever they want with him, he’ll complain the entire way but we all know he secretly loves it!

“Yoongi dared a quick look behind him, audibly gulping at the sight of the Alpha staring at his ass like he was a starving man at an all you can eat buffet. Jungkook was grinding his jaw and had his nails dug into the dirt like he was trying to control himself.”

I mean, we’ve all seen the Yoonbooty. It does look very biteable. Relatable AF Kook!

“Jungkook continued poking around in things; picking up a candle to sniff, trying to sneak a peek into the duffle bag, ruffling around in the bag of snacks - all while stealing glances at the bed in the middle of the room. “

WAY TO NOT BE OBVIOUS KOOK!!!

“What are you doing, Kook? You’re wasting time here when you should be out there chasing down your mate. They are probably wondering where you are.”

“They know where I am.”

“You told them you were going to hang out with me and they were fine with it?”

“Hyung, you’re usually so smart. Think about it.”

Every time I read this, I die a little bit inside (in a good way, I promise). Yoongi’s whole world is about to be turned upside down, and he has no idea!!!

“The house…”

Jungkook’s eyes softened, smiling fondly at him. “I bought it for you, hyung. Whether you choose me today or not, it’s yours.”

I cry.

What a courting gift!!! Kook doesn’t understand subtlety, does he??!! And how selfless is this? This is a no-strings attached gift, given to Yoongi out of love.

I cry.

“I love the way we are now, equals with a little bit of babying me on the side,” Jungkook grins when Yoongi snorts, shaking his head fondly at the other.”

I would like to see that please.

AND THEN THIS LINE:

“Omega,” Jungkook says softly, so rife with emotion that Yoongi can hear everything he’s trying to say in just that one word. “May I enter your nest?”

This is it, this is as far as I go fam. I have been destroyed with six whole words. How can such a simple statement hold so much emotion, so much hopeful pleading?

And then the whole interaction on the bed! Yoongi asking if he wants to play cards (bwahahaha, sure Jan), Kookie being prepared to wipe away all the descenting salve, Kook getting scent high, YOONGI’S GRANDPA RUN, those first initial uses of pet names, everything was so intimate and playful. It was beautiful!

“I bet I could easily pick you up and fuck you against a wall sometime if you wanted. Maybe even have you straddle my shoulders and I could suck you off that way,” Jungkook muses so matter of factly despite the subject matter, and Yoongi can feel himself get wetter by the second.”

Aaaaaaand there’s the emotional whiplash I’ve come to love from you!

“Whatever you want. You’re in charge.”

Kookie being selfless again! I cannot! It’s about these little things that are done between partners that really matter. Kook is a newly presented virgin Prime Alpha in the midst of a claiming, and his first priority is still making sure Yoongi feels good. He’s giving him all the power here.

“Good,” Yoongi yawns loudly and throws a couple of blankets over them, tangling their legs together. “Later we can try the thing with the nipples.”

Again, I would like to see that please.

“Suddenly, Yoongi’s eyes shoot open and he gasps.

“Oh shit! Your brother is going to kill me!”

Jungkook merely laughs”

😂😂😂

“I’ll give you some meat,” Yoongi grumbles playfully as he climbs off the bed, stretching his aching limbs.

“I mean, I’m down for anything,” Jungkook giggles.”

Not to sound like a broken record, but...I WOULD LIKE TO SEE THAT PLEASE

“Jungkook walked straight towards the first woman he saw with a clipboard, blindsiding the stunned woman with one of his lethal smiles while he wrapped an arm around Yoongi’s waist to pull him close.

“Hi! We both need mating packets.”

Yoongi rolled his eyes because he could tell that Jungkook was practically bragging instead of just asking like a normal person.”

He’s practically bragging about Yoongi being his mate! I have a feeling Kookie is going to be unbearable to be around in the upcoming weeks.

And then we get a teeny tiny peek at the Nam-Jin-Hobi subplot and ooomg I hope you’re able to explore this particular pairing in the future. There is so much potential there for steamy/fluffy scenes!

“I just mean, like, soulmates. You know? Maybe we were supposed to meet to help each other find our mates. Or maybe we are all soulmates in various forms.”

DON’T! DON’T HURT ME THIS WAY, I CANNOT AND WILL NOT SURVIVE!

AAAAH this fic was wonderful! It feels complete the way you ended it, but I am definitely still craving more! Good job, dayumm!

It still amazes me how many people have read this one lol. But yeah, this is one of my favorites too. I do have other side stories that I’m working on for this one, including one from Jk’s birthday and another for Namjinseok.

I just really really love writing people that are so unapologetically whipped. Like, it’s such a major thing for me because in real life there are a ridiculous amount of people that are embarrassed to show how much they care about their SO, and like, why? Why are you even with them if you’re so embarrassed to show them any affection? Show the world that you are proud they choose to be with you, show your person that they are precious. I’m not even saying buy them shit all the time (because for some reason het males seem to think that’s what everyone means). I mean hold their damn hand, write them a note, tell them they are pretty. There’s a reason that a person who technically still identifies as gay man is in a steady relationship with me, a pan woman. And it’s because I fucking treat him like he’s the reason my heart beats and I’m not ashamed to show the world. Ok, I’m ranting now lol. I’ll stop. But you get the picture.

[lordseochangbin]

the luck in your hands- seo changbin

word count: 10k  

fluff, smut, angst imagine based on the bollywood movie “zoya factor” on netflix. 

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

“ok guys... we’ve practiced for this moment, right? let’s make sure to get the win!” changbin exclaimed in an encouraging mode as the stadium roared.

 it was the match that would qualify changbin’s team to the world’s annual tournament, and changbin believed with enough practice they’d be able to get the win. even if they lost, they’d still be qualified to go--however with the lowest ranking...and the disappointment of their team’s manager.

it was discouraging when the announcer never failed to mention their recent loses. every since changbin took the captain’s spot, the only wins they received were from the easiest teams. the team’s president was disappointed and forced changbin to take action. the team worked hard as well, practicing day and night until they couldn’t take the pressure anymore, resorting to blaming each other for their losses.

changbin shaked it off as he walked onto the stadium, patting his teammate’s backs and praying to the gods that he would at least get this win as he looked up at the president in the stands.

he watched as the president mouthed the words, “fucking. crush. them” 

he took a deep breath, nodding at the president before he would stand in his position. 

“ok, on a count of three.. one two-”

“SEOUL STAYS!” the team exclaimed.

seconds later the stadium was quiet, the game going on much to changbin’s disappoint. 

“the score is now 18-23, looks like the angels are ready to beat the stays again!” the announcer called before minho--one of changbin’s teammates-- could get the ball.

and from there the game ended, the other team winning by 4 points causing changbin’s team to go to the tournament but at the bottom of the league. 

“and that ends it! angels beat the stays-- guess lee’s shot just wasn’t it folks” one of the two announcers called from the microphone. 

“that better SERVE him right” the female announcer called, remembering minho from their one-night stand a few months back. changbin pulled minho away from the court before minho could smash the ball on the floor.

“oop- looks like lee bee is getting angry again. someone better give some chill pills” the lady sarcastic called on the intercom before changbin could pull him away, minho turning around to flip off the intercom girl.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

“UNACCEPTABLE. FUCKING-- what the fuck were those playing skills?” the manager yelled at the boys. minho, one of the players, rolled his eyes at the coach earning a smack from behind.

“keep giving me that attitude minho and you won’t be able to play in the league, got it?”

“.. i understand” minho muttered under his breath,his fists clenching under the seat.

“and you!” the coach pointed his finger directly at changbin as the boys huddled around him. “get your shitty team together or paychecks are cut off. i selected you as captain because i thought you’d benefit for the team, but if you let this team down i’ll select chan next year.”

changbin couldn’t help to find chan smirking to himself in the corner, his head down as he tried not to show his satisfaction. 

“next game is in three days, i expect perfection at the tournament in incheon. got it?”

changbin stood up before his manager, his head high as his team stood up behind him. 

“GOT IT!” they exclaimed.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

you woke up to your brother tossing a basketball onto your bed. “FUCKING IDIOTS! THE STAYS LOST AGAIN!!” 

angered by your brothers actions you threw the comforter onto the floor, grabbing the basketball and chasing your brother out of your room. 

“LEAVE!! JUST LEAVE JISUNG!!” 

“NO NOO PLEASE DONT TELL DAD” 

you abruptly stopped, causing jisung to stress on why you were so calm all of the sudden. his eyebrows wrinkled as he watched you take a deep breath before screaming, “DADDDD!! JISUNG IS BEING ANNOYING” 

your dad ran upstairs, stealing the basketball from your hands. 

“jisung. that’s enough. lets go buy some takeout” 

“you would’ve asked for chicken if the stays won” jisung spat out 

“well if that changbin kid could be a better captain!“

“that lee minho kid needs to work on his anger issues!” 

god. this is what you hated about living with your dad and your brother. basketball, basketball, basketball; it’s all they talked out. you could literally yell that you were pregnant with the team’s defender and they would care. 

“GUYS?! GUYS?!” you exclaimed, waving your hands in the air as the two men continued to argue 

“I'M PREGNANT WITH HWANG HYUNJIN'S CHILD!! HWANG HYUNJIN!! THE HWANG HYUNJIN!!” 

“hey! chan is obviously the best player on the team” your dad shot back at jisung, literally ignoring your presence 

“ HWANG HYUNJIN— HWANG BANGED ME!! WE’RE HAVING HYUNJIN BABIES!! TINY SCREAMING HYUNJIN BABIES!!!” you yelled in exhaustion as you attempted to break the fight 

you clenched your fists as they continued to fight and ran downstairs to grab a drink before the sight on the tv could catch your attention. 

“seo changbin, another loss bro” the news reporter said, patting changbin’s shoulder 

“it’s a bummer, but i know we’ll come back stronger during the tournament” he replied with a wide grin on his face 

“that’s the spirit! now what do you think will keep these boys up and running?” 

“practice. practice makes perfect. i strongly believe in that” 

the boy in a suit popped onto the screen, hovering the camera. “you only requested 1 question and you know changbin doesn’t like physical interaction, please respect the captain. we end this interview now” 

the boy grabbed changbin’s hand as he was dragged away from the screen. “wait- wait!” the news reporter called before the camera could zoom into the man’s face. 

“and that’s the leader of the seoul’s stays. the team representing korea in basketball. no. physical. interactions. no communicating” 

your brother turned off the tv practically awakening you from your deep thoughts. “the captains hot right? stop eye fucking him” 

“i was NOT eye fucking him jisung!” you said in disgust, grabbing the pillow and shoving it in his face. 

“hey basketballs aren’t the only balls-”

“I HATE BASKETBALL!” you yelled, kicking the couch and running to your room.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

it started when you were younger. actually, to be exact, the day you were born. y/birth month, date, year (sorry i couldn’t think of anything LOL). you happen to be born on the same day as the seoul stays basketball team won their first tournament . it was legendary, your father kissing your forehead and blessing the lords. but in exchange for your birth, came your mother’s death the next day.

your eyes watered at the sight of the fireworks every year in remembrance of the nation’s basketball win, reminding you of your mother and her sparks of energy. you definitely got it from her, your father always reminded.

“you.. y/n. you are a basketball goddess” he whispered. from there, your father believed your birth led to the win of the basketball team.

basketball was your first word. your father remembering the moment precisely in the middle of your brother’s high school game. your father took it as no coincidence when your brother’s team won at every match you attended. you were han jisung’s “good luck charm”, as he liked to call it. one breakfast with jisung’s team and he was sure to win the whole thing. 

growing up with two basketball geeks, you decided basketball was the thing you hated the most. you HATED basketball. but ironically, you worked for the seoul stays team’s manager.

“you’re joining the team on the tournament. i can’t make it” the manager said, crossing his legs in his seat as you sat across from him in shock.

“you.. you can’t make it to their biggest tournament of the season?” you asked

“no, unfortunately not. now i need you to pack your bags and join them at the hotel they’re staying in-”

“wait wait wait.. wait a minute. im going with them?! to every game?!”

“yes, no excuses. now pack your bags. you know what you’re expected to do”

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

the morning of the next day, motor vans lined up at the entrance of the hotel. the paparazzi crowded the lobby, waiting for the seoul stays team’s arrival. you sat in a separate van, of course, your palms sweaty as you held their laminated agenda in their hands. 

“oh my god…” your jaw dropped as girls screamed. three boys; one with a cat phone case, one with prince-like features, and another with a smile like the sunshine. they looked perfect, and you could only wonder who else was in that team of 12. you didn’t know their names regardless of working for the team, the game was irrelevant to you and you heard enough of it from home.

you got out of the car to catch up with the team and their employees before being pulled away by the swamp of people. 

“wheres our manager?” you heard one of the boys whisper 

“IM RIGHT HERE!!” you replied from behind the crowd. it wasn’t loud enough to catch their attention however, as they continued to walk towards the hotel lobby. 

2 hours later you found yourself finally at the front desk, your hands waving your reservation as you spoke to the lady out of the breath. “one room, please hurry with my bags” you panted, tossing your 5 inch heels to the side. 

“got it miss, here’s your card.” she handed you a maroon colored hotel key as another employee escorted you to the elevator. 

“thank you so much, what floor is the room?” you asked before entering 

“floor 23 miss” he replied

“thank you” your heavy heartbeats finally stopped. finally, the day was to yourself. maybe a massage will do, or a movie under the comfy sheets of this five star hotel. 

you stared in awe at the detail of the elevator as you entered, a little boy staring at the buttons before he could send you a very delirious smile. you smiled back. and he clicked all the buttons so the elevator could stop at each floor before going to 23. 

“WAIT NO-“ you exclaimed, watching the boy giggle before running away. 

you cursed under your breath, banging your head against the elevator wall and grabbing your hair in distress as two people joined you. 

“are you okay miss?” a voice peaked from your right side. 

“I HATE BASKETBALL!” you exclaimed, throwing your hands to your sides as you turned to the stranger who bothered to ask about your well-being. 

you choked on your spit as you realized the man next to you was the only and only… wait were you dreaming? you blinked a few times to make sure it was real. the most popular basketball leader in south korea in your eyesight, seo changbin. 

“I MEAN-“ you gently patted his shoulder, a nervous smile on your face as you tried to correct your words 

“i mean the game.. not the players, totally not the players” 

changbin posed a fake smile as he nodded in agreement

you continued on rambling “and..and some boy pressed all the buttons and left so now we have to stop by each floor and visit everything” you closed your eyes to prevent tears as your daily headache started to kick in 

 “and exactly why are you banging your head against the wall?” changbin said with a chuckle, he couldn’t help but notice how cute you looked when you tried not to get in trouble. 

“oh my god! ive just had such a terrible day…” you went on every floor like that. complaining to changbin about how his manager forced you to join the trip, the agendas, the crowds. 

“that’s the basketball life” he chucked, “imagine being the captain” 

“oh god” you sarcastically laid a hand on changbin’s shoulder before remembering the news reporters words from earlier. “no. physical. contact” 

“EEK” you drew your hand away from changbin as he stood there. 

“are you okay?” he asked, confused at your sudden drawback 

“im.. im fine” 

“well! this stupid agenda tells me seungmin has to wear a different pair of top brand white shoes daily? i obviously can not afford them but we’ll find some knockoffs ” you laughed before covering your mouth in shock. 

“oh my god, changbin please don’t tell him i said that” 

“don’t tell seungmin you said that?” he questioned 

“yes! yes this is my job at risk please” 

“so you’re asking me to lie to my teammate? for your job?” he asked, inching closer to you as you stepped back against the elevator 

“yes…” you responded slowly 

“and break the trust of one of my teammates? so you don’t lose your job?” he said, raising his left eyebrow in anticipation 

“exactly!! perfect changbin!” 

his hands were on your sides, you trapped against the corner of the elevator as changbin’s lips seems seconds away from yours. but they never meet. 

“no can do” he spat before the elevator could reach floor 23 and he could leave you with a heavy beating heart. you clenched onto it to calm your breathing down from the steamy moment. 

“oh my god. im gonna get fired” you said, grabbing the knock off pair of nikes you bought earlier and face palming yourself in disappointment.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

the next day, you decided to go to the buffet room early. you were in line when you noticed a familiar face next to you. 

“bang chan?!” you exclaimed, nearly

dropping your plate as you went to shake his hand. 

“y/n?!! what are you doing here?! god it’s been so long, how are you??” 

“ive been alright, im the “co-manager” for the seoul stays” you emphasized, grabbing a slice of watermelon and tossing it in your mouth

“really?” he asked, his eyebrows furrowing in question. “im on the seoul stays team”  you spat out the slice of watermelon as the news hit you

“you are?!” you asked followed by a gasp of excitement, “i guess your dream came true bang chan” 

“indeed, now you have to tell me what’s going on with you now that i know we’ll be seeing each other more often” 

as the buffet line came to the end you looked at the filled tables to see none open for you. as chan joined you, he grabbed your plate. 

“how about you join the team for breakfast?” he offered 

“wait for real?” you asked in surprise 

“yeah, they wont mind” 

you joined the table, greeting by the whole team except for changbin. chan quickly introduced you to everyone, leaving them in shock of their young manager as minho sat you down across from seungmin. “hey y/n.. did you ever get my new shoes?” 

“oh yeah!” you picked up from your bag from the floor, shuffling through some things before pulling out a pair of white “nike” shoes and handing them over to him. 

seungmin looked at the pair of shoes, investigating every detail before looking back up to you. 

“are you sure these are nike?” he asked before changbin could interrupt 

“seungmin! remember that prank you pulled on me awhile ago, and i mentioned if i fell for it id do whatever you want” 

“yeah, that shit was so funny!! what about it?” 

“here”, changbin stood up with a nike bag, pushing it towards seungmin as he opened the box. “here’s a brand new pair of white nikes. i hope you like them” 

seungmin smiled at changbin before opening the box, “thanks man” 

hyunjin, one of the new players, bursted into laughter at the gesture . “god y/n, you had to be there. that prank was amazing! changbin walked into the room and boom! he was so pissed off” he said, making all the players laugh and you as well. in the midst of it all you managed to steal a glance at changbin, thankful that he’d bought a pair of white nikes for seungmin.

you watched as a smile formed on his face as he looked down at the floor before looking up to lock eyes with you. he smiled at the contact making you blush before minho could catch your attention. 

“look at my cats!”

“woah, you really like your cats huh?” you asked, peeking at his home and lock screen. 

“i… i tend to get really angry sometimes. like anger issues i guess but one look at soonie,doongie, or dori and i feel relaxed again” 

“really? who’s dori?” you asked out of curiousity

you watched minho scroll through photos of his cats before receiving a text message on your phone. 

changbin (?): you owe me 

you looked up at changbin before replying. 

me: i do?! 

changbin: yes, for being the sweetest guy on the planet. tonight after the game 

me: ok okk 

“changbin” chan glared changbin, “do we have practice today too? before the game??” 

“it’s the rockets. what do you expect? i know they’ll crush us but they won’t crush us completely” seungmin pouted 

“oh come on guys, have a little faith in our team. after the game we can go watch the fireworks or something” changbin bribed 

“that’s so funny, that’s exactly what my father used to say on my birthday” you mentioned, gaining everyone’s attention 

“your birthday is on New Years?”  seungmin asked

“no no, the day the seoul stays won their first worldwide tournament-“

“y/birth month,date,year (sorry i couldnt think of a date LMFAO)” you, minho, and hyunjin said in amazement. 

“wow! that’s crazy!” jeongin added 

“yeah, chan do you remember? my dad would force me to eat breakfast with you guys every morning. it’s because i was your guy’s ‘luck factor’” you laughed 

“seriously?!” he questioned, trying to remember 

“yeah! just one breakfast with you guys and bam, you were sure to win the game” you said, laughing at their reactions 

“wow, even my uncle said her birth sign is lucky too. it must be a sign” seungmin replied

“hey hey”, changbin interrupted. “basketball is not a game of luck, it’s a game of strategy. practice is the only thing that matters” he said, straightening himself in his seat. 

you took a sip of water as you hummed in agreement. “wow, wise leader. i agree” 

chan tapped your shoulder, asking you if you’d like you come to his suite and catch up like old times. you sadly had to refuse, work being an overload and the game coming soon. you promised another day however, remembering how close you to used to be before excusing yourself from the table. you noticed changbin smile at you on your way out. what a cutie. 

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

you sat on the bench as the game started; the score was worse than you thought. “come on stays! you can do it!“ you cheered on along with the crowd. it was a home game so it was easy to encourage them but for some reason their game was low. 

after the first round the boys sat down, chan turned to minho giving him a small push to the shoulders. “minho, you can’t keep getting angry on court!” 

“they’re purposely trying to make you mad minho, can’t you see the way they shoved your shoulder? you completely lost your game after” jeongin complained 

changbin ran his fingers through his hair anxiously as he looked at the scoreboard. 

“minho, are you getting angry at the other team or something?” you asked him

“yeah y/n, i can’t help it” he shrugged 

“how about this” you looked through minho’s bag to find a photo of dori, grabbing a piece of tape from your school bag and taping it onto his sweatband on his wrist. 

“everytime you get angry, just look at this” you suggested, remembering how easily he mentioned it calmed him down

changbin smirked to himself as he watched your advice “you seriously think that’s gonna work?” 

“back on the courts folks, it’s time to get on with the game. it seems to be on the celtics favor as expected” the announcement called 

you draw lines into the sketchbook that was supposed to plan the team’s game as they gathered around the coach and before you know it, the buzzer rang. 

you watched changbin in amazement at how well he played ball. he lead the team through commands on court and it showed how well of a leader he was. as changbin’s team played offense, they did nothing but score points. it was almost amazing how fast they caught up to the celtics before the timer could end 

the boys huddled around in amazement as the crowd roared. 

“wow! the seoul stays definitely making a comeback!!” the announcer called 

“guys, what the fuck is happening?” hyunjin asked 

“we’re doing so unbelievably well, it’s crazy.  i didn't think it was possible to score that many points at once” minho continued 

“im telling you guys, it’s y/n. we ate breakfast with her and her luck is rubbing off on us!!” seungmin said, all eyes went on chan as they wondered about his childhood. 

“were the games like this too? for your team?!” jeongin asked in curiosity 

“now that i think about it, kinda? our records were hard to believe” 

seungmin clapped his hands in realization, “that’s it! it’s y/n” 

“it’s not y/n, we actually practiced today” changbin argued

the boys pouted as the buzzer went off again and the announcer called. “one more point and the seoul stays and celtics are tied!” the reporter called 

“i think they’ll be able to do it, seeing how well they have been doing” the other reporter responded

the timer started. 

changbin passed the ball to chan who dribbled it down the court before passing it to hyunjin. it seemed as though the other team’s defense was off, even though they were known to be brick walls. they seemed down on defense and changbin made sure to take that to his advantage as jeongin shot the ball. 

“yang shoots- and it’s not in! oh-oh wait i think seungmin is going for the rebound… and.. and he makes the rebound!!” 

the timer pauses as the boys cheer to themselves. “come on guys!! we can do it” changbin cheered on as the crowd encouraged them. 

“we?? you mean y/n??” changbin looked away from seungmin when he mentioned your name, making him nervous about where the real determination of the game was coming from. 

the timer had 50 seconds left. the ball was in minho’s hands. the second the buzzer went off, you watched as the celtics drilled through the other team and shoved minho to the ground. 

minho’s eyebrows furrowed in fury, his face heated as he knew their purpose. “uh oh, looked like minho is angry. will he screw up the whole game for the stays?” the announcer called 

minho took a second, pausing to stare the photo of soonie on his wrist. “i-is that lee minho?? smiling on court?!” the female announcer called. 

“yes! and minho gets back on his two feet! but the buzzer is at 10 seconds, what will minho do?” 

minho ran to the half court line, shooting the ball from a questionable distance. the crowd silenced, everyone on the edges of their seats as they watched the ball fly around the rims of the hoop, only to fall right in with the buzzer went off. 

“and the stays win the game!!” 

changbin looked around in confusion. “US?? WE DID IT!!!” the boys huddled together, jumping in circles as the crowd cheered them on

“perhaps the seoul stays will not be disappointing us this season. looking forward to what they have to show”

changbin ran up to you, picking you up and twirling you around in happiness as he gave you a tight hug. 

“thank you y/n, for giving minho that stupid idea” he scoffed 

“you're welcome” you laughed as changbin slowly stepped out of the hug, realizing how awkward he was 

“now for that date? can you bring the team’s agenda?” 

“is it a date if you’re still in basketball mode?” you asked, wondering why he would ask for the player’s agendas.

“who said it’s a date for the both of us? i want to get to know the players more” he laughed

“pfft, like id ever date you” you said, turning around as the media started to crowd changbin 

“in your dreams y/n!!” changbin called from behind, making you smile as you drove back to the hotel

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

around 9 pm you heard three knocks on the door. you rushed to the door, opening it to see changbin in a hoodie and jeans, a coat over his hoodie to make a look. he parted his hair for his forehead to show, three bracelets on his wrist and a small gold chain to complete his fit. 

“wow..” he said. you looked at yourself from head to toe. you were wearing blue jeans with an white embroidered long sleeve shirt and a pair of white boots. 

“um.. wow?” you asked, a small chuckle leaving your lips as you allowed changbin to come inside.

chan turned the corner of your hotel floor to surprise you that night, only to see changbin enter your room. “was that changbin?” he wondered to himself, he looked up at the ceiling to prevent himself from tearing up. he seemed to be on the edge the whole day, thinking about confessing to you after 8 years of waiting. but it seemed like you moved on, and even worse with chan’s biggest enemy. he knew he had to get you back somehow. chan left for the elevators, his head speculating on how he would do so.

“wow(wowwww shes hot, ok sorry 3racha), this hotel room is a mess,” changbin continued, flopping onto the half made bed that had magazines scattered on top of it. he grabbed one of the magazines to find his face in the front cover. 

“staring at photos of me?” he asked with a smirk on his face.

“no! no.. totally not. just gotta check the news, right?” you replied, stuffing the bra you left on the floor into your check-in bag

“do you have the player’s agendas?” he asked, turning off the tv

“yeah! but you want their agenda to get to know them better? why not actually try to get to know them better?”

“i know their personalities, i don't know their interests outside of basketball however”

“well that’s why you communicate, just get to know them better” you suggested, sitting next to him on the bed with your legs crossed

“talk with them? i talk with them everyday”

“then ask them what they like when you’re having a conversation, just slip it in there. here try it on me”

“hmm.. other than being the manager’s secretary, what do you like about basketball?”

“that wasn’t what i meant but i like nothing about basketball, moving on-”

“not even the players?” he asked, arching an eyebrow 

“the players… don’t seem that bad. i know chan-hyung from your guys team!”

changbin rolled his eyes, “what about me?” 

you leaned back on the bed, was this his way of flirting? even though you had just met him today, a sense of trust was built between the two of you. he felt free to share his concerns with you and you felt free to speak your mind around him.

“you’re not bad” you replied, laughing at changbin’s pout

“pfft.. right”

you took advantage of the hotel service and ordered a bottle of wine as you and changbin sat on the bed, just talking about the team and how you grew up with a father and brother that actually looked up to changbin. you talked about your ex who broke up with you a couple weeks ago because he was in love with lee minho and how basketball was the source of all the karma in your life. he couldn’t help but laugh at how blunt you spoke about your dislikes on basketball but he understood you. he seemed to cheer up as well when he discussed the stressful measures about being the captain of the basketball team that represented korea. 

“see how easy it is to communicate” you said, “you’re doing just fine. you literally got me to spit out all my interests”

“i don't think that's cause of my social skills” changbin said, his fingers intertwined with yours

“oh really? then what is it?”

“i think we just have a lot in common” he smirked, placing his head on your shoulder. you giggled as his feet played with yours

“me? with the seo changbin?”

“oh come on, i'm not ‘ the seo changbin’” he laughed as he leaned closer to you, his face centimeters apart from yours. your lips parted from the close proximity.

“can i?” he asked, his eyes diverting from your lips to your eyes

“does it look like i’m complaining?” you whispered before he smiled into the kiss.

his hands slithered from your legs to your waist, you grabbing his face as he turned you so you were on his lap. he pushed your hair away so you could kiss him once again, his eyes asking for permission as he tugged on your white shirt. “is this okay?”

you giggled as his cold fingertips tickled your skin and nodded your head in approval as you threw his coat off. your hands found themselves under changbin’s hoodie as well, touching every area and complimenting his figure as he pulled his hoodie over his head. 

changbin hummed into the kiss as you straddled his lap, turning his neck as you could kiss his skin making him shut his eyes in satisfaction

“y/n.. you work wonders on me” he whispered as you places small kisses down his chest, making sure not to leave too many marks as he was a celebrity

you pecked his lips one last time before you and changbin could squirm under the sheets, the wine having its effect on you and making you fall for the captain of the basketball team--seo changbin. 

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

you woke up to the doorbell, changbin sleeping soft and sound next to you as you quickly fixed your hair and threw on his jacket. you weren’t expecting anyone, so you figured it was room service asking about breakfast.

before answering the door, you woke up changbin. “hey, changbin” you whispered into his ear

“changbin..” you pinched his skin but he wouldn’t budge. a smile came on your face as you realized what would wake him up. your lips could themselves on his neck, what you discovered last night to be his weak spot as you sucked on the skin. changbin smirked as he grabbed your hips and placed you on his lap, “what’s up y/n?” he smiled as he saw you wearing his hoodie

“someone’s at the door, i think it’s room service so just hide under the covers”

“oh.. okay sounds good” you got up from the bed as changbin slapped your ass, laughing playfully

“stop it” you bickered, making him chuckle even more as he hid under the comforter

you opened the door to see hyunjin, minho, jeongin, and seungmin.

“good morning y/n!” jeongin greeted before you could hear a loud thump

“did something fall over?” hyunjin asked, trying to peek inside

“no! no, maybe just my bags” you said, peeking inside to see changbin on the floor as he tried to listen to the conversation

“anyways, we wanted to invite you to breakfast with us. last night’s win was crazy, and we think it’s because of you! we got your own seat for tonight’s game as well” seungmin said

“oh… don’t you think you should discuss this with your captain first?”

“oh come on y/n! i’m sure he’ll be fine with it” minho replied

“i don’t know… plus it’s just a belief that my father had. i can't ensure you guys the win”

“please y/n!” seungmin begged, this hands tugging at yours. 

“see! you’re wearing one of our hoodies too! it’s destined, its a yes” hyunjin said

“fine” you complied, “but if the captain says anything about it, i’m out”

“perfect!! we’ll see you in an hour” the boys rushed down the hallway, skipping in the midst of their steps as say ‘yippies!’ and ‘woohoos!’ were heard

you shut the door, changbin now throwing his shirt on as he realized the time. “are you fine with me eating breakfast with the team?” you asked

changbin pulled you into his arms, placing a reassuring kiss on your lips. “as long as you sit next to me” he said before grabbing his things.

“i’ll see you in an hour, keep my hoodie as a souvenir” he winked before heading off.

the second he closed the door you collapsed onto the sheets, stuffing your face inside of the comforters as you screamed in excitement. every second felt like a fairytale and you wondered how you were so (ironically) lucky to end up dating the captain of south korea’s basketball team.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

you were getting ready to go to the game when a boy named felix came to visit you. 

“hey y/n…  my names felix? im the last one on the roster”

“what’s up felix?!” you asked, grabbing the two of you a coffee. 

“i don’t know, can we talk? there’s been something on my mind and i know the rest of the team is busy so i don’t know who to go to” 

“yeah sure, go ahead!” 

“my whole life i have been playing basketball. it was my dream to join the national team and now im on, but im always on the bench. changbin hyung, bang chan hyung and the others, i look up to them so much. i really want to play y/n” 

“aww felix, i know how you feel. you know what changbin always says” the two of you rolled your eyes as you mocked changbin’s voice 

“practice makes perfect” the two of you said in unison, making felix laugh

“and im sure changbin is going to notice you, ill make sure of it” you said, making a mental note to talk to changbin about felix 

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

before the game started, the team got together to discuss with the press. 

“now boys, can you explain how the hell minho made that half line shot? that was literally legendary!”

minho was given the microphone, “well, i’d like to call it luck. we actually have i suppose.. a lucky charm among our team”

“hmm, spill the tea minho” the reporter responded.

“we dont have a lucky charm, it’s just some stupid belief among the team” changbin interrupted, grabbing minho’s microphone.

“i believe our team has put in a lot of effort into their game, and minho has definitely been keeping their head in the game, along with the rest of the boys. we’ve been doing a great job. end of the conference”

the boys got up at changbin’s rough command, leaving the meeting room and getting ready for the game.

it was the game against a team from france, known for having the best defense. the boys were nervous; minho staring at the photo of his cat like madman, seungmin pacing around the court, hyunjin talking as fast as he can to take his mind off the game, and jeongin silently screamed like a dolphin to let out his anxiousness.

chan however, sat next to you the whole time. you smiled and nodded while he talked as you ensured everything was set for the game but at the same time you kept stealing glances at changbin. he checked on each member making sure they were alright and encouraged them like he always did. at one point he even caught your eye, raising his shirt to expose his six-pack and using the hem of his shirt to wipe the sweat off his forehead. the whole moment played in slow motion, the swamp of girls behind you screaming at the top of their lungs when he winked at you.

“and yeah i’ve been trying to get in touch- y/n? y/n?” chan asked, tapping your shoulder

“yeah! you.. you wanted to talk to me chan?” chan simply smiled and got up. “maybe another time” 

you waved him off as the game started and god was it a miracle. the whole team did amazing on defense but the whole stadium roared at how well changbin did in offense. he made 3/4ths of the shots despite chan having the best shooting record on the team, and when changbin finally best chan’s record the crowd screamed in amazement.

“wow! it looks like seo changbin is having a lucky day, the seoul stays are back at it with another win!” the announcer called.

once the game was over the cameras were all on changbin and his team, you resorting to leaving early and getting some rest at the hotel. 

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

you smiled, clutching your purse into your chest as you thought about breakfast this morning. you sat right next to changbin wearing your favorite dress, his hand resting on your thigh under the table and his thumb drawing circles.

“stop it” you kicked changbin in the shin making him jump in his seat

“hey changbin, everything good?” minho asked

“yeah, yeah. lets just eat and get on with practice” he replied with a smile on his face.

you laughed, stabbing your fork into your scrambled eggs before changbin could place his hand back on his thigh.

he talked with the other members about the game, but his hands kept busy as they crept up your thigh. 

you shut your eyes in bliss as his fingers slipped past your wet folds, changbin turning around to whisper in your ear

“no underwear?” he said with a smirk

“mhmm” you hummed, your eyes focused on your plate as his fingers played with your clit.

he pushed two digits in, your hands resorting to your knees to grab onto as you felt your stomach churn

you turned to changbin, “can we be excused early?” you asked

“no can do love, that’s why i need to finish you off first. i guess this is a thank you for last night” he winked as he slipped in a third finger, thrusting them in and out as you pressed your legs in tight

changbin continued on with his discussion as you cummed on his fingers, making him smile as he grabbed a few tissues with his other hand.

he cleaned you off with the breakfast napkins before straightening out your dress.

“okay boys, off to practice?” he asked, brushing his hands on knees and getting up.

you smiled remembering the exact moment. it was totally sexy.. he was so sexy, you thought to yourself before being interrupted by chan.

“hey y/n!” he called after you 

“chan, what’s up?” you said

“look.. i don't mean to kill the mood or anything, but i’ve been watching you and changbin and i just want you to be careful”

“be careful? why?”

“did you see how well he played today? i’m sorry y/n, he’s obviously dating you for your luck. you know he loves basketball more than anything”

“chan, you know i dont believe in my luck either” you frowned

“fine then, just looked at this” chan pulled out his phone, his screen showing a clip from this morning’s press conference.

you watched as changbin took the microphone, “we dont have a lucky charm, it’s just some stupid belief among the team” 

“see that y/n, he thinks your stupid, a nobody. he’s just playing you”

your eyes watered as the clip replayed on chan’s phone, running the elevators and letting the tears fall into the palms of your hands. chan was right, if some guy could dumb you because he was in love with a cat-loving basketball player, why would korea’s most handsome captain date you? he obviously had some incentive. 

you grabbed some tissues as you ran into your room realizing changbin not only played basketball, he played with your heart.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

you were packing your bags, the tv playing behind you announcing the win for the seoul stays. they didn’t fail to mention changbin’s new record, making you grab the tv remote and turn in off. 

“y/n!!” changbin opened the door, running up to you and giving you a hug. 

“y/n did you see my shots?! i guess the practice came through this time” he laughed. 

“your practice? or my luck?” you asked, pushing him away from you to zip up your bag. 

“what do you mean?” changbin asked 

“changbin..” you bursted into tears when you said his name, “you can stop acting, i know you’re just pretending to be with me for my luck!” 

“y/n that’s not why i like you!” he replied 

“really?” you threw him your phone, the clip from the press meeting playing

“we dont have a lucky charm, it’s just some stupid belief among the team” changbin watched the clip twice before you could take your phone away from me

“no y/n, that’s not what i meant! im just trying to get the boys to not rely on you for our wins. we earn our wins!” 

“we?? your team?? or you changbin? because the fact that you made a whole new record after sleeping with me really says something” 

“y/n—” 

“forget it, we’re done. im leaving this trip. im done with basketball, and their players” you spat in his face before leaving 

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

you didn’t show up to breakfast that day, resulting in an easy loss for changbin’s team but luckily for them it was a mock game. 

with your absence, the boys lost confidence in their game. changbin never explained to the boys why you had left and he had no way of cheering them up. 

you watched the mock game from your tv, sighing in disappointment as you watched changbin being mobbed by the paparazzi. 

he looked like he had been crying for awhile, his eyes downed with eye bags as he walked past the crowd. 

that same night, you felt worried about changbin’s well-being. the final match was tomorrow and you wondered if he was overthinking about the loss. you remembered how well he poured out the stresses of being captain, and came to the gym to find him by himself shooting hoops and practicing alone. 

“changbin?” you called out, watching as the ball changbin shot went into the hoop. 

he looked at you with no expression, grabbing another basketball and shooting it right into the hoop. constantly making points. 

“look, im sorry” you apologized, “i'm sorry for going off on you and accusing you” 

changbin didn’t respond, grabbing another basketball. 

“and you’re right. i gave your team false hope and i can’t go to any of the games. im sorry, okay?” you continued

“no y/n” changbin replied, dropping his basketball

“maybe you’re right. the one day you’re not here with us, we lose. when you’re there we automatically win. maybe this whole time… maybe it wasn’t skill and practice, it was luck. getting into the basketball team, becoming captain, meeting you. maybe this whole thing was just luck” 

“changbin..” you sobbed, giving him a hug. “what have i done to you?” 

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

day of the final tournament— south korea vs united states 

“i heard y/n left, and i had to skip my vacation to fill in for her” the manager yelled at the boys, making them scrunch up in their seats. 

“anyways, why the fuck did you lose that easy match against the pelicans?! they played like high schoolers! and who are we?! the champion team! changbin, you don’t get the win for us during finals and your cut from the team. chan will easily take over” he exclaimed, leaving the room in fury 

the first half of the game, changbin’s team suffered the biggest loss. the crowd was failing to cheer on the team knowing that they couldn’t possibly win the game with the way they played. the team constantly begged for breaks, discussing plans and pissing off the opposing team with their decisions. when changbin put chan in the game the crowd cheered on, putting smiles on everyone’s face. 

“bang chan is in the game!! it looks like changbin is finally making some good decisions for the team” 

but bang chan did nothing but disappoint. the second he got the ball he would drop it, staring around in embarrassment. it was almost as if he was doing it on purpose, you realized. at one point minho shoved chan to the ground, “get him out of the game!” minho exclaimed to changbin before the buzzer could ring. 

“wow..” the announcer called 

“i thought the seoul stays would be some sort of competition to the american team but i guess i was wrong. they seem to be completely messed up. i don’t know what’s going on with them” 

“they seemed the be lucky this whole time i guess…” 

“let’s see what happens during the second half”

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

the boys sat down in the locker room, exhausted and disappointed from the game. 

“look, guys why are we like this?” changbin asked the team

“y/n’s not here, we need y/n! without y/n we’re gonna lose” jeongin responded 

“you guys! don’t you hear yourselves? you’re already losing hope. you don’t need y/n! you need yourselves! think about it, when you first started playing, even before you played on the national team, was y/n there?” 

the boys shook their heads no as they listened in on what changbin was saying 

“then just imagine a time when y/n wasn’t there and play ball. pretend like there’s no one there. no gym, no crowds, no managers. let’s just play like we did when we were younger, when we played on the courts in our school in front of the girls in order to gain someone’s attention. let's play our best, okay?”

the whole locker room was quiet before a sniffle could be heard from hyunjin. hyunjin got up and hugged changbin, “that was fucking beautiful man” he cried, making the whole team laugh

“let's do it!” the whole team cheered 

“1..2..3.. seoul stays!” the team rushed out of the locker rooms but changbin stopped chan on the way

“chan, i’m gonna have you sit on the benches this time… replacing you with felix” the freckled boy stood up from the benches, “me?!”

“yes you” changbin laughed

“you seriously think he can replace me? im the best one on the team!” chan argued

“well it didn’t seem like it earlier” changbin shrugged, grabbing felix’s hand and leading him to the courts

“wow! as if the game couldn’t get better, changbin has just replaced their best player bang chan with a rookie, lee felix!” the news reporter sarcastically exclaimed

“let’s see how well his decision will turn out”

“ok guys…” changbin said as the boys huddled up, “just remembered told you.”

as the game went on, the crowd seemed more and more on the edges of their seats. seoul stays were already passed the united states team and were so close to winning. the timer was so close to zero as felix was passed the ball.

at first he seemed afraid, the americans coming to play defense on him as he dribbled down the court.

“to me, to me!” felix heard changbin’s voice and quickly passed the ball, running down the court. 

the crowd screamed as the time grew closer to zero and felix was passed back the ball. seungmin, jeongin, minho, and hyunjin made sure that felix was safe to play as he dribbled down the court and finally before the timer could go off, he shot for a lay-up.

“and it’s in!” the announcer called, the team running up to felix and screaming in excitement

“congrats to the seoul stays, you have won the worldwide tournament!!

you squealed in your seat as you watched the game, jumping up with your couch and doing a boogie dance before you could hear your brother and father walk in the door.

“you’re watching the game too?!” jisung asked

“their win was pretty crazy” your dad said, sitting next to you

“tell me about it” you replied

jisung sat down in front of you as a new face peeked in.  it was woojin, your brothers best friend since you were younger. he seemed like an older brother to you as well, always helping you out when you needed it.

“woojin!” you exclaimed

“woojinniee” jisung mocked

“shut up” you retorted, giving woojin a hug as he sat down with jisung and your dad.

“look kiddo” your dad said, “you seemed a bit off when you came home from work. that’s why i brought the boys here, are you okay?” your dad asked

you shrugged your shoulders, leaning back against the couch. “guys, if you screw up something in a relationship. i dont know, you have a misunderstanding and you go off on the boy.. what do you do?”

“communicate?” woojin suggested, making you laugh at how stupid changbin’s communicating skills were

“wait.. you were in a relationship?” your dad asked

“that’s not the point here” you responded

jisung got up, pointing his finger at the door. “if i was a true bro, i would come knocking on that door right now begging for you, no cap” 

the doorbell rang.

jisung covered his mouth in shock, “woojin hyung, do i have psychic powers?!”

“for god’s sake, go answer the door” woojin responded, making the three of you laugh

your brother ran to the door, opening it to see seo changbin with his motorcycle. 

“hey..” he glared inside before looking back at jisung, “i’m here for y/n?” 

“y..you’re… y-you’re seo changbin.. you’re her boyfriend..”

“oh, you must be y/n’s brother!” 

“BRO! YOU FUCKING WON THE TOURNAMENT BRUHH” jisung pulled changbin into a hug before you could pull him away. 

“ji-jisung you can go now”  you said, dragging him by the arm

“you’re a legend, i love you! saranghAEE!” jisung said before you could shove him into the hallway

seconds later you returned back to the door, “your brother is just like how you described him” changbin said, nervously scratching the back of his neck and putting his hands in his pockets

“what are you doing here?” you asked, “you should be with the team”

“i was… but then i realized how much i missed you. i realized how much i missed you next to me. i wanted you there y/n… everyone was happy and smiling and it killed me knowing i didn’t have you there next to me. not as my lucky charm but my girlfriend”

“showing your feelings while communicating aren’t we, your social skills teacher would be proud” you smiled, making changbin feel at ease 

“i only learned from the best” he replied, pulling you into a hug

“y/n, please forgive me. i’ll eat breakfast with you everyday unless there’s a game, i’ll talk to you every night with my stupid communicating skills, i’ll give you all my hoodies.. just make me the luckiest man on earth and be with me”

“a terrible choice of words” you laughed

“oh.. right”

you took a step back, cupping changbin’s cheeks in your hand before placing a kiss on his lips.

“i make you the luckiest man on earth in my room tonight” you winked

“i’m willing to take a shot at that”

[hobiwonder]

Call out my name | (m)

Pairing: Hoseok x Reader

Genre: Smut. Heavy Angst.

Warnings: Very heavy angst, revenge fucking, oral, dirty talk, creampie, depiction of alcoholism, mentions of abandonment, brief scene of a one night stand, anal fingering, slight non/con but not really. Toxic relationship. OC is very fucked up and so is hoseok.

Summary: Hoseok needed closure.

Words: 10k+

A/n: my beta reader will scream at me for posting it without running it by her khvbwufkbvkwb sorry ily liela but im impulsive. I fixed most things but here ya go. BUT anyway, please read this after careful consideration. It is quite heavy angst. Even i wouldn’t read this type of stuff if i wasn’t feeling it already and then ended up writing it lol. Just tread carefully is all i’m saying. Let me know what you think if you do end up reading this hgjtcdydythmfvujv

For the full experience of pain listen to these songs and perceive the lyrics from Hoseok’s point of view: Call out my name and I was never there by the weeknd, Blue Side and boy meets evil by our beautiful wonderful sunshine hobi that i love very much.

The wind rustled your hair, the cold night air rendering you almost motionless from the chill creeping up your body and settling into your bones. Twigs snapped underneath the weight of your feet trudging through the cemetery. Looking behind and around you every couple of seconds hoping to spot the person you were wishing was still well or at least alive. The night was still relatively young and you were thankful for the call you received before it was too late and you were much too far away to be concerned about anything, much less about a grown man drinking himself to oblivion in front of his mother’s grave. Shaking your head at the thought, your tongue felt bitter at the inner turmoil of your heart, knowing that you still cared. You still fucking cared. Why else would you have left your apartment because of one, barely a minute-long call letting you know Hoseok was nowhere to be found?

“Hello?”

“Hey, Y/N” hearing Yoongi’s voice waver, your stomach dropped, knowing instantly something was not quite right. “Is… Is Hoseok with you?”

“Why would he be?” A sigh. A breath inhaled. The unspoken questions resonating with you without having to be allotted into the air, “To beg you to take him back? Cut his own balls off just to have you back?”

“He’s not at the company. He’s nowhere. I’m… not sure what to do.” Yoongi sounded exhausted, at the end of his faculties at his best friend and business partner’s sudden desertion from the face of earth. Closing your eyes, you asked god above to afford you with the strength you needed to deal with the expected.

“I might know. I’ll give you a call when I find him.” You hang up, grabbing your coat, and head for your car.

That’s how you’d ended up at the cemetery you knew your… you didn’t exactly know what to call Hoseok. What he was to you. He was your everything and he was your nothing. Every holy entity probably cursed you enough to last you a lifetime or two. Knowing how much you had fucked up a perfectly good man, willing to give you everything but you had to go and unleash your demons and be your overbearing self. Making decisions for him, about his love and if he was allowed to give it to you. You knew that Yoongi only asked you as a last resort. He detested you for ever leaving Hoseok and breaking whatever you had built with him. Yoongi was a fierce friend and that meant swallowing his pride and asking the woman who had devastated his friend to the point of relying on alcohol, his least favourite potion, just to have Hoseok safe. Though Yoongi had contemplated for a while if you were a graver danger than the chilling weather outside. Only you would know where Hoseok would be at 2 in the morning, drinking his sorrows away in front of his mother’s grave, that he had learnt about, not too long ago.

Taking out your phone and turning on the built-in flash light, you looked around as you took several rights towards the sound of a bottle crashing against, what you guessed, was cement. You walked for a few more meters and there he was. Leaning against the cement slab on which his mother’s name was carved.

Hoseok knew you were here before you had even said his name. Were you real or just an illusion he had envisaged up in his inebriated state? He wasn’t sure. He was too occupied, an air of melancholy surrounding him. He was cursing his dead mother out enough to put even the foulest men to shame. Anyone who didn’t know his situation would probably brand him as a lunatic, cursing at a grave as the bottle of whiskey steadily disappeared, burning his pharynx, sending him further into his drunken haze, making it easier to blame all of his misfortunes, failed relationships and bonds and his inability to detach himself from toxicity such as you, on his mother. His fucking mother who had abandoned him at the tender age of 9 at a fair. He remembered everything. It made it all the easier to damn her to hell as he drank in celebration of her death anniversary. Another year, without a monster in this godforsaken world. He snickered bitterly, the smooth taste of the whiskey making it easier to swallow the lump in his throat that was threatening to almost cut off his air supply.

A hand on his shoulder, gentle and warm, tentative. Nothing like you.

“Hoseok, let’s go.”

He flung your hand off him like it had been dipped in acid, burning him even through the covered skin it never touched.

“Don’t fucking touch me.” Your expression tightened.

“Okay, then. Yoongi is worried, it’s time to go.” Trying to reason with him, your voice had taken a lower, softer undertone. Your hand reached down, trying to grasp the bottle of liquor that he held so tightly against his chest when he refused to budge, taking another big gulp. A gasp was torn from your lips as your warm hand touched his icy skin as he lacked any form of warm clothing apart from his suit jacket that did nothing to provide him with substantial heat.

“You’re going to freeze if you stay out any longer, let’s go.”

“Maybe then, it’ll hurt less.” The words spoken so softly, you almost think, wish, you had imagined them. They were more chilling than the storm itself and you cursed yourself for being this affected. The silence that ensued after he had spoken was nothing short of throttling. You sighed in exasperation; you didn’t have time to fight with him. Not when he was intoxicated and about to get frost bitten. A million things ran into your head, yet you couldn’t rack one expedient thought out to respond to him. To tell him you were sorry. Sorry that it had to be this way. Sorry that it had to end. But to him, all he saw was the exterior. And he wanted nothing more than to conjure up the strength to scream and shout at you to go away from his life. To stop coming back and ruining him for anyone else. He hated you. He hated you so much for making him want to do nothing but be a pathetic shell of a man, waiting to be accepted by the woman who had rejected and humiliated his feelings over and over and over. Yet here he was. A hypocrite. Rejecting you outwardly but keeping you locked tightly in his heart so the remnants of the lover you were to him, stayed. Feeding the delusional part of his brain, telling him that he stood a chance in your heart that was home to nothing but bitterness and so much self-loathing it had no room for the healing his love, he had hoped, would provide you.

“Hoseok, please. You’re drinking yourself into liver failure. Yoongi is worried.” He looked at you. Really looked at you, and it perturbed him that his damned heart skipped so many beats he thought he was actually having a heart attack. Why did he still see a halo around your head when all you did was break him? He had shared everything with you and you had gone right ahead and torn him apart. Dissembling him, piece by piece until you took and took and nothing but a skeleton was left of what was a loving, caring and giving man he once thought himself to be. You were poisoning him and he knew it. Yet, he wanted nothing more than to be wrapped around in your arms that were currently being held around you, trying to shield yourself from the cold gust of wind that left your cheeks rosy and your eyes watering.

“Why are you here?”

“I told you, Yoo-”

“Why are…Youhere?” A pause. A breath taken in so tranquilly you weren’t sure you actually truly breathed.

“Because no one else had an idea where you were.”

“But you did.” His accusatory tone made you look down as if you were guilty of this fact. Hoseok rested his head onto the stone slab, regretting yet another moment of weakness where he had opened up to you. Telling you a few months back that he’d found his mother, albeit only her grave, but it had given him solace, a sense of relief that he had found her dead rather than alive. Or that’s what he told himself.

“I did.” Nodding your agreement, kicking the rubble beneath your feet, wanting to be anywhere but here. With Hoseok reminding you of what a monster you were. No good for him. The last bit was your own belief, Hoseok was too good to think that.

“Does it make you feel good? Knowing you’ve won once again? That no one will probably ever know me like you do, because you know-”

“No, I-”

“-that I’ll never be able to open up to anyone again? So you can continue to save me, save the fucking day and be able to see me without having to have the burden of loving me. Are you satisfied?”

Clenching your jaw, you barely restrained your tongue, ready to deny all the charges. But you couldn’t. Because to some extent, they were true. You were a coward, too afraid to love him like he deserved so you reeled in your self-righteousness, thinking you were doing a veracious deed by keeping him at an arm’s length, resorting to catching fleeting glimpses into his life through the mishaps he found himself in often and to what only you knew how to pull him out off. It was your twisted way of keeping him in your life while simultaneously telling him he wasn’t worth the fight you’d have to go through with your demons, to keep him. You were a disaster for him, yet he failed to see that.

“Not everything I do is about you, Hoseok.” Yes it is!You wanted to shout from roof tops. “I have called Yoongi, the car will be here in 5 minutes to pick you up.” Hoseok chuckled at your obvious dismissal of his previous accusations.

“You’re a fucking liar, Y/N. Everything you do is to trap me so much so that I can’t even breathe without you helping me.” Hoseok, with much effort, pulled himself to his feet stumbling, coming closer to your figure that was starting to retreat at his close proximity.

“You know what the sad thing is? I don’t even want you to stop. I’m in love with you and you don’t even care.” Hoseok felt like his heart was tearing apart, eyes welling up with unshed tears clouding his vision as he leaned closer to your face.

“You’ve… You’ve broken me.” Tears sliding their way down his pale cheek as his eyes closed themselves, seemingly surrendered in the moment. He looked utterly defeated and it made you want to fling yourself off a bridge. You hadn’t anticipated such defeat from him. You wanted to shake him, tell him to yell at you. Call you a cold blooded monster, anything but this. Anything but this look of pure crushing vanquish and hurt across his face. So clear that you felt it in your bones. Felt the pain he was feeling, almost tasting it on the tip of your tongue.

The sound of a car pulling in the rubble filled parking lot interrupted any measly response you might have conjured up or worse, fell to your knees to ask him for forgiveness. Instead, you gathered yourself and looked him in the eyes one last time as you heard footsteps approaching you both.

“You’re not in love with me, Hoseok.”

Before he could respond, you spun around, walking back the way to your car as if you were being chased, about to be prey to a dangerous predator. When in reality, you were the only predator, praying on Hoseok’s feelings. Being inside the safety and the much needed warmth from the heater you had cranked up on your way before, the events that had conspired just moments before really began to settle in. You had ruined everything with Hoseok. Cut off any chances of a future you might have had with him. Alas, in the end, you were your own demise. The incessant voice and the circumstances, remained at the back of your mind, convincing you that it just had to be this way.

___________________________________________________________________________

Hoseok could feel the worst hangover creeping up to overtake his senses since his college graduation party. Only this time, he hadn’t forgotten anything that had taken place just before he had blacked out in the back of Yoongi’s escalade. Remembering every bitter detail of the night, your indifference to his confession; not even a second glance spared his way before you had rid yourself of him and left him weeping and being a pathetic mess of a man. He had never felt more vulnerable in that moment, hoping to make you realise that what you both had meant so much to him, only to find out that it in fact, meant much more to him than it ever did to you. Vividly remembering the day, you had shut him out of your life, with nothing more than a text. When he had confronted you the next day thinking it was just your insecurities creeping up again, instead he was faced with your calm and apathetic gaze.

“What are you saying? You can’t just ‘terminate’ this relationship. This isn’t a damn contract, Y/N.” Exasperated, he had run his hand through his hair for what seemed like the hundredth time, pacing back and forth in his office as you sat in the chair across from his own, hands in your lap looking ahead. Professional as ever.

“Details are unimportant. I’m sorry Hoseok but,” You had taken a deep breath looking as much composed as he was close to losing his mind at how easy all these words seem to come to the tip of your tongue, spoken with such assurance that had him bewildered, “We don’t want the same things. I thought… I thought I wanted this. Us.”

“So that’s it? You give me a two weeks’ notice of your resignation along with dumping me or whatever the fuck the time we spend together meant to you? Jesus Christ Y/N, are you going to move to a different country next?” He couldn’t believe it, that you had so easily given up your position at the company just because whatever you had with him, was over.

“I’ve been offered a position elsewhere for a while, I can assure you this is just… a messy coincidence. It’ll be best if we don’t work together.” You had stood up, smoothing your skirt over, carefully avoiding eye contact with him, standing in place for a few seconds. He watched you as you stood in silence, looking across his desk to the sun setting outside, hues of orange and pink shining in his office through the various sky scrapers surrounding his company building. He raked his brain for any and every word he could think of to make you stay, understand why and how the sudden change in your behaviour had come about. He knew he was lying to himself with the thought that it was a sudden change. That he hadn’t seen you gradually pull away from him, emotionally and physically, only the skeleton of you remaining in the nights when he’d cradle you against his figure, trying to omit even the slightest bit of sincerity from your form that would lay emotionally torpid beneath him. A mere ghost of the woman he had made love to before. He was sure it was love. So sure that you reciprocated his sentiments as well.

Before you could leave the room, he grabbed your shoulders, spinning you around to face him.

“What happened, Y/N? W-What did I do? Why are you pulling away? Please tell me. Tell me and I’ll fix it.” He was sure he had almost looked manic, desperation lacing his words, hoping to reason with you.

“I told you Hoseok, I-I don’t want this. Please, just let me go.” He knew you didn’t just mean literally. He had fucking known, yet he continued to humiliate himself.

“I know you think you shouldn’t be with me but please, I love you,” he had taken your face in his hands, drawing your body closer as if to convey some of his feelings and pour them into your body and reignite the feelings that were no longer there, “and you love me. We can make this work Y/N, please.”

You had broken yourself from his hold with such ferocity you would think that he had been assaulting you instead of the tender embrace he had captured your form in to. And then you had spoken those words, with such guarantee, they chilled him to the core. The words that tore him apart, let him know that this was a lost cause.

“You know that I have never said what I don’t mean, made any claims that don’t stand a chance. My decision is final Hoseok. I’m sorry but I don’t want this.”

It was then he had realised, you had never once uttered the words, I love you, to him.

And damn it all to hell and back, no amount of liquid poison could make him forget the pain and humiliation you had caused him. No amount of alcohol could cause permanent damage to the part of his heart and brain that still clung to the devotion and ardour he held for you. He would’ve reminisced in his reflections longer if it hadn’t been for the shrill ring of his cell phone. The screen signalling that his best friend was on the line, the only reason he even decides to reach for his phone.

“What the fuck do you want?”

“Thanks Yoongi, for dragging my drunk, delinquent ass at 3 am in the morning from the freezing cold and to my house and in my own damn bed so I don’t freeze to death. Oh no problem Hoseok! That’s what friends are for!”

Hoseok just closed his eyes, letting Yoongi run his mouth and call him out on his obviously lacking mannerisms. Sighing, he thanked his best friend, as he deserved.

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome, asshole.” He pinched the bridge of his nose, too hungover to fight with his friend. He needed a damn drink and he needed it ASAP. Putting his phone on speaker, Hoseok climbed out of his bed with much difficulty, wanting to do nothing but fall back into the pillowy, literally, heaven that was his bed. Where the smell of you still lingered from weeks ago. Rubbing his face, he walked over to the whiskey bottle on his minibar, the glass cork making a clinking noise as he set it aside to pour himself a drink right before Yoongi’s shout sounded from the phone.

“Don’t you fucking dare pour that drink, Jung Hoseok. I will come down and beat your fucking ass if you got shit faced today when it is barely noon.”

“Time isn’t real Yoongi, get over it.” Pouring himself a drink, Hoseok looks at the phone in his hand, contemplating if he should hang up and be miserable on his own without any damn interruptions.

“Hoseok,” Yoongi’s earnest voice and the way it audibly softens, makes him halt, “as your business partner, your childhood best friend and most importantly, as someone who cares about you, I’m advising you that drinking yourself silly every day like you’ve been doing for the last four weeks is not healthy.”

He lets out a snort in disbelief at himself, as if he didn’t already know that. Yoongi however, goes on after a large exhale as if to prepare himself for what he’s about to say.

“I know… it’s have been hard for you to not fall down that hole. I know it must hurt like hell, believe me. But you have to pull yourself out of it. You can’t change what’s happened but please,” Yoongi almost pleads, “you need to let go.”

“I know, hyung.” Hoseok hears Yoongi, but he doesn’t want to. His heart doesn’t seem to be listening either. He knows that unless he tries, there is no other way to relieve himself of his pain. It’s funny how usually, it’s the other way around. Hoseok is the endless beam of energy and hope for Yoongi and his lethargic personality. Now that the roles are reversed, he truly begins to appreciate his best friend.

“Good… why don’t you come in to the office today, huh? It hasn’t been the same without you, brother.” Hoseok grins slightly at the sincerity in Yoongi’s voice, not being used to the elder’s open display of such brotherly affection.

“Okay, hyung. I’ll see you in a bit.”

“Oh thank god, I’ve been holding down the fort while you sulked but it’s about time you came back.”

“Don’t make me change my mind.” Yoongi laughs before hanging up. Managing a multi-million-dollar enterprise that they built together was never a one-person job. Hoseok feels a pang of guilt deep within his chest thinking about Yoongi being on his own while he’d been too lost in his own mind when he wasn’t drunk, to even check in on him. If for no one else, Hoseok decides then and there, he needs to get himself together at least for Yoongi and tips his glass of whiskey, in to the sink.

“Look who emerged from the bat cave. Sure you got no burns from the sunlight on the way over?”

“Hyung, I will throw my phone at you if you don’t shut the fuck up. Christ, the looks from the staff were enough. Do I look that bad?”

Did he really? It was a wonder no one had bumped into each other or some other dramatic soap opera shit when he had entered the main floor and an audible hush had fallen around him as he passed his staff and went straight for his private elevator to the top floor. It was no better when he had entered his floor and all the staff on his way over to Yoongi’s office, which was next to his own, had parted like he was Moses and they were the red sea. Their hushed ‘Good mornings’ had barely passed his ears and he had appreciated that no one tried to be overly enthusiastic. But he figured it was probably not because he was hungover and more because they weren’t sure if their boss was going to actually going to stay.

“Unfortunately, you look great as always, even when you’re 80% alcohol right now and probably took a shower after a month,” Yoongi murmurs ‘Handsome motherfucker’ under his breath as he pours Hoseok a shot of espresso. He rolls his eyes at Yoongi’s snide compliment.

“Anyhow,” handing Hoseok his coffee, Yoongi sits back in his chair as Hoseok walks over to the floor to ceiling glass window, overlooking Seoul city, “I’m glad you’re here, Hoseok.”

Hoseok nods at Yoongi, not finding it in him to do more, knowing there was still something he needed to get off his chest.

“Why did you send her hyung?” The frustration in his voice evident.

“I didn’t know where you were! How was I supposed to know you were at the cemetery when you don’t tell me shit?”

“You didn’t have to.” The bitterness of the espresso makes it easier to make implications that his best friend definitely didn’t appreciate.

“Excuse me? You’re the one always grilling me about my life, making me ‘lean on’ you. Why can’t I do the same for you? Don’t be a hypocrite.” Yoongi leans back in his chair, trying to find the right words to tell Hoseok that he needs to let somebody in on the thoughts in his head. Especially in a time when he’s so fragile because of you. Hoseok downs the rest of his espresso and runs his hands through his blonde tresses, pulling for a few seconds in sheer aggravation at himself.

“I know… I know. I’m sorry I made you worry. I just… didn’t want to see her.” Yoongi gets out of his chair as he listens to Hoseok’s voice get softer and quieter. Walking over, he looks at Hoseok’s face and truly sees for the first time how tired his best friend looks. Placing his hand on Hoseok’s shoulder, he gives a reassuring squeeze.

“I’m sorry I had to send her. Keep me in the loop and I won’t have to ask… her.” Yoongi stays clear of saying your name out loud seeing how delicate of a state Hoseok was in, not wanting to cause any more pain than necessary as Hoseok nods in agreement.

“Tell you what, let’s go out after work and get a drink at Merlo’s?”

“Hyung, you were just chastising me for drinking.” Yoongi claps Hoseok’s back walking back over to his chair.

“For drinking alone, there is a difference. This time I’ll be there to keep an eye on you. Come on, have a drink with your hyung!” Hoseok can’t help when a laugh escapes him when Yoongi belts out his thick Daegu accent on purpose. In times like these, he really appreciated Yoongi having his back.

“This is definitely not the best bar in Seoul, hyung,” Hoseok takes in the posh décor that makes him roll his eyes and the over pretentious staff and bartenders with their snappy movements to guise themselves as standouts. When in reality, this was an overpriced bar and Hoseok just wanted a drink.

“Well, I thought maybe we’ll change it up a bit… Also Jiwoo might have sent someone to meet you.” Yoongi mumbles the last part, knowing Hoseok wouldn’t have come to a place like this otherwise. And he was right as Hoseok’s eyes widen.

“Noona? And you didn’t think to tell me? What the hell, hyung. You know I’m not ready!” He can almost feel his cool composure melting off him in layers, knowing his older sister’s matches were more often than not, wacky.

“It’s been weeks, Hoseok. You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and get out there. Maybe this will help.” Hoseok tries to listen to Yoongi, he really does. But he doesn’t want to. It’s too early. His wounds feel like they were inflicted just yesterday, too fresh, too clear. Too agonising. Nevertheless, he knows unless he does this, he won’t get Yoongi off his back. So, nodding, Hoseok agrees reluctantly.

“Also, she’s a recent share holder at our company and new to the city. She doesn’t know you or anything or has any expectations and inclinations of you, Hoseok. This is your chance to try and start fresh.”

“Okay… I’ll try just for you, hyung.” Yoongi pats Hoseok’s back, genuinely appreciative of his friend’s trust in him and that he was sincerely, making an effort. Or so it seemed.

“We also have a lot of pending business to take care of. The collaboration launch party of Kim Inc. and Jung-Min enterprise as well as our conference in Jeju is coming up all in a span of a few weeks and months respectively.” Hoseok was half engrossed in his drink and half listening to Yoongi when a slender figure had joined their private booth. The woman was nothing short of gorgeous as even Yoongi took in her S shaped figure and golden bronzed skin clad in a mildly suggestive knee length dress.

“I’m glad I crashed this conversation at the right time before you two got too carried away.” Her beaming smile, though sweet, was too much for Hoseok.

“Hyolyn, glad you could join us.” Yoongi sits up as Hyolyn slips right in with Hoseok as he comes to term with the fact that this is definitely the girl his sister and Yoongi have set him up with. She was jaw-dropping, but she wasn’t you.

“Hoseok, this is the lovely lady I was just telling you about.” Hoseok conjured up a half sincere smile as he took in her small features gleaming up at him politely.

“Nice to meet you.”

“No, nice to meet you, Hoseok. I’ve heard great things about you from Jiwoo and Yoongi here.” Hoseok sent Hyolyn a tight smile, not being in the business of enjoying hearing himself being extolled. He tried his best to be polite and forthcoming to the newcomer at their table. It wasn’t as if Hyolyn wasn’t nice on top of her already beautiful exterior. She genuinely paid interest in what he had to say and hung on to his every word, paying him entirely too much attention. Nothing he was used to with you.

Get a fucking hold of yourself, he cursed at himself. If even after a month you still clouded his mind this much, he wondered how long it would take him to stop comparing every woman to you.

“Alright then, I have some matters to take care of it seems,” Yoongi complained with his eyebrows furrowed, looking down at his phone after an hour of Hyolyn’s arrival. Hoseok almost let his jaw drop at how unconvincing the older man was at pretending that he had something urgent to attend to. Though, Yoongi probably was trying to spare Hoseok the embarrassment that undoubtedly would come along if he had abruptly left. Which Yoongi has done before. Hoseok could tell that Yoongi was serious about him moving on if he was willing to play a matchmaker with his sister.

“Oh okay, shame you have to leave so soon.” Hyolyn contorted her pretty face in a look of sympathy, looking up at Yoongi who was now standing with his suit jacket in his hand. He looked at Hoseok and Hyolyn, throwing a sly smirk at Hoseok’s glaring face.

“Yeah, shame. Anyway, you take care of him, alright?” With a solute, Yoongi was dashing out of the bar moving faster than Hoseok had ever seen him move in all the years he’d known him.

“Look, you don’t have to “take care” of me like that smug bastard suggested,” Hyolyn stifled a laugh, smiling politely at Hoseok leaning in to talk to her, “I’ll be fine if you would rather find better company. I’m afraid I’m not going to be too entertaining tonight.”

Hyolyn decreased the distance between them even more and brought her hand lightly on top of his, a show of understanding.

“Look, I will be honest, Jiwoo told me you had just gotten out of a relationship and were in pretty bad shape. I understand if you’re not in the right mindset to give someone else a chance but,” Hyolyn took a deep breath and let her kind eyes hold his own as she spoke with a gentle smile on her face, “We don’t have to do anything. I can be here as a friend if you want?”

He could see the glint in her eyes, instantly grasping what she was suggesting. However, Hoseok knew he couldn’t use someone as sweet as Hyolyn as his rebound.

“I appreciate that, Hyolyn, really. I think I may need a friend for now, more than anything.” At that she smiles knowingly, removing her hand atop his.

Time passes a little quicker as Hyolyn makes commendable effort to get to know Hoseok, carefully distracting him from downing his drinks too fast. In fact, Hoseok himself is surprised at the unfamiliar feeling of you being absent from floating in his mind, staining his every thought. That’s until by some cruel joke the universe must be playing on him, he spots a figure strutting inside the bar, a dress clinging to your sinful body and heels that used to drive him crazy. Who was he kidding, they still drove him crazy. It takes him a little longer to notice the man beside you, his hand grasping your own as he’s leading you to a booth in the VIP section he currently himself was in.

He must have been staring for a while since Hyolyn turns to follow his gaze. He’s thankful she can’t tell if he’s watching you or the man you’re with. Which happen to be none other than-

“Isn’t that Kim Namjoon of Kim Inc, the company you’re going in business with?”

Hoseok doesn’t add the fact that he also used to be his best friend, once upon a time. Instead he motions the waiter over without sparing a glance at him, continuing to watch you interact with Namjoon as you lean forward to talk with him, no doubt giving him an eyeful of your luscious breasts. Hoseok could almost feel the steam coming off from him like he was just about a second away from evaporating into the thin air.

“Seems so.” If he gives off any hints of the drastic change in his demeanour and the frequency by which the alcohol is disappearing down his throat almost doubling than before, Hyolyn doesn’t mention.

“I’ve heard he just hired a new PA with crazy high salary.” Hoseok’s attention immediately zooming back on to Hyolyn’s speculations.

“And where did you hear that?” Hyolyn smirks, rolling her eyes as she explains.

“Oh you know the amount of gossip that goes around when you’re a young and handsome man in such a position of power.” Hoseok has to almost force himself to pay attention to what she’s saying. He had known from his sources that you’d taken a position as a PA for Namjoon and had never understood for the life of him, your decision to do the same job you had done for him, and move to another company to do exactly that rather than ask for a promotion. He never entertained the possibility of you actually working for Namjoon for reasons other than not being able to work for the man who was invested in you more than you, him. Reasons like more money. And the thought alone made him want to march up to you to confront your need for a bigger salary than the unconditional love he thought was being reciprocated.

“Yeah? What’ve you heard about me?” Hyolyn turns back to Hoseok, clinking her drink with his own.

“Nothing that makes me want to not give you a chance.” She says with a smile. Just then, he sees you emerge from the booth you’d been in with Namjoon, adjusting your dress. As though you feel his intense gaze on your skin, you look up, making his heart almost stop. You don’t fare much better as you dash towards what he assumes is the restroom. Before he can talk himself out of it, he finds himself following you, vaguely deciphering a call of his name from Hyolyn.

He enters the restroom, not giving you a chance to say anything else, before he confronts you. He just had to know.

“He’s paying you well, huh?” Hoseok is almost seething and there you are, calm and collected as ever. Like his accusations didn’t matter to you. Just like nothing ever fucking matters to you.

“I am a PA to a CEO; Yes, he is.” You state as a matter of fact, reapplying your lipstick that he just notices was a little smudged. Hoseok could feel his heart beating louder and faster in his chest, making it hard to breathe. He never thought you’d be this indifferent to him. The look of panic he had seen on your face just before almost feeling like an illusion now. The woman in front of him now was nothing short of a distant, bitter reality he wanted to never face but was now forced to.

You didn’t want him. You never wanted him.

“Is money so fucking important to you? You could’ve asked me for it and I’d have given it to you!” because I was that in love with you. Though he doesn’t say that out loud he knows you hear it loud and clear. And once again, you don’t spare him a second breath, brushing your hands down your tantalizing dress, staring him straight in the eyes as you approach him.

“I am a PA not a CEO and an heir to a million-dollar empire. Yes, money is of importance to me.” Hoseok groans at your too technical answer, not giving anything away. He was sick and tired of you being evasive.

“Stop with this bullshit Y/N, you know what I’m asking.” He takes a deep breath, closing the distance between himself and where you stood holding on to the sink.

“Are you fucking him? Is he paying you enough to put out, huh?” Your eyes remain focused on his own, refusing to waver like he thought, hoped, they would. Hoped that you’d break out into sounds of horror and surprise, telling him that he was wrong and that you would never do anything like that. Hell, be mad at him, hit him and demand to know how he dare accuse you of being some money hungry whore.

But you don’t. Instead, you leave him with words that dry out his mouth and stop his heart.

“Maybe he is. Either way, who I’m fucking doesn’t concern you anymore, Hoseok.” You give him another chilling look before pushing past him, exiting the bathroom. Hoseok could feel everything slowing down around him. Your words still ringing in his ears. It was as if he was glued to where he stood. No amount of commands his brain sent to his muscles were able to move him. The bitter reality was taking its sweet time settling in his bones, rendering him useless to move until another woman enters the bathroom, gasping out for him to leave.

He sped back to his booth, hastily apologizing to Hyolyn, who looked just as confused as he had felt moments before you had walked out on him.

“Is everything Alright, Hoseok?”

“I just can’t do this right now Hyolyn, I’m sorry.” He sighed beckoning the waiter over to settle his and Hyolyn’s bill. She looked sweetly sympathetic, standing up with him to make sure he was alright. Hoseok wasn’t really sure if he was upset or angry. Maybe both. With the dizziness being from sheer rage or hurt, he wasn’t quite sure. What he was sure of, though, was that he wanted to get out of this bar before he suffocated.

“Can I do something to help?” Her pleading eyes made the pang of guilt that was bubbling away in his chest a tad bit bigger at the fact that he was leaving her to go numb his senses by fucking someone senseless.

He reached over to caress her cheek as his parting vow, “No you can’t, get home safe Hyolyn.”

All Hoseok could think about was your words, your body clinging to Namjoon’s, your scent when he confronted you in the bathroom. Even when the girl, whose name he had forgotten the minute she had said it, took him in her mouth like her life depended on it. It had been hours since he’d left the bar after the debacle with you at the bar where he’d also left Hyolyn and went to the sleaziest club he could find, where he wouldn’t be able to be recognized.

Only thing on his mind was the stagnant truth. No matter how many times he replayed your answers in his mind, picking them apart to see the silver lining to what you’d hinted at but was plainly clear if only he let himself believe it too. You didn’t care about him anymore, possibly never did.

“Fuck,” The girl licking away at the underside of his cock looked up at him smiling around him when he heavily rested his head on the wall he was leaning against. Thinking he’d been responding to her tongue she continued with much fervour, when really, he was cursing himself for not being able to accept the truth. You had ditched him at the first signs he had shown of wanting to deepen his relationship with him. Jumping ship as soon as he shared his heart with you, about his mother, his fears of you leaving him. And you had done exactly that it seems like. Now he knew the catalyst had been the six figure salary Namjoon had offered you. His mind was filled with rage and his heart was filled with betrayal. And even after you blatantly admitting you might be sleeping with Namjoon, he somehow thought of you and your mouth being the one swallowing around him instead. The only thing Hoseok wanted to do was get you out of his system. And of course, why wouldn’t he start with fucking you out of his system.

He’d hooked up with the first willing girl, telling his brain to shut the fuck up when his conscious accused him of trying to find you even in a one night stand he’ll never see again. She’d been all the more eager when he’d pushed her against the wall, making her feel the rigidity of his cock against her to coax her to her knees. He wanted to bang on the walls, pull on his hair, beat the living shit out of himself for being so fucking oblivious to your changing demeanour the months before it had all unravelled while simultaneously still wanting to rush back to you.

Alas, it was easier to hate you now. Knowing how money hungry you were, willing to shamelessly flaunt yourself as such too. But he knew mindlessly hooking up with random women was not about to provide him with the numbness he craved. He needed closure and he was going to fucking get it. Maybe, just maybe, what he was about to do would put his need for you at a halt. He hated you in this moment. He wanted it to blossom so much that it occupied all the space in his traitorous heart.

So what does he do? Go straight to your apartment of course.

“Hoseok? What are you do-” You weren’t given even the courtesy of finishing your sentence before he had his mouth over yours. Your hands had found purchase on his chest and it’d boiled his blood even further. Not sure if at the way his heart had skipped several beats or at you because it was so easy for you to make it do so.

He had wanted to be gentle at first, to share more of those deep sweet kisses that left him dizzy and stunned, but that dress and those heels…

Screw gentle.

He grabbed your wrist and pulled you further inside, barely taking the time to lock the door before he pushed you against it and slanted his mouth over yours. He slid his hands under your ass and lifted you so that you were truly pinned between the wooden door and his pelvis, which he rocked against you as he kissed you. Hoseok looked around to make sure you were truly alone, and then he grabbed your hand and tugged you inside your bedroom. He spun you around so that your ass was pressed against him—pressed against his erection. He put one hand over your mouth and then undid the knot to the ribbon that held your pyjama pants snug to your hips.

“You’re only hungry for money and cock aren’t you?” He said in your ear, not expecting an answer. “Where you get more of any of those, you go running with your mouth wide open.”

And then he slid his fingers down your stomach, slipping under your silk panties. You moaned against his hand, hands tugging on his arm that was relentless between your legs.

“Shhh,” He said. “Sluts like you don’t get a say on what’s done to them.”

You whimper in response. Too responsive for your own good.

God, he loved your pussy. He’d never felt anything softer than the skin between your legs—and fuck you were wet. So wet that he really could pull his slacks down and take what he wanted, right here, right now. But no. You didn’t deserve that.

Not that he wouldn’t fantasize about it as he got you off.

He started in on your clit in earnest now, circling it hard and fast, loving the way you bucked against his hand. He knew it was more pressure and speed than was comfortable, but he also knew that you would like it that way, savour that tiny, tiny bite of pain with your pleasure with the way you were gushing more than you ever had before. You were filthy and he was finally realising that.

“I would’ve done this all day, Y/N,” He rasped in your ear. “I love reaching down the front of your pants, playing with your cunt, making you come. Do you like it?”

You nodded, your breathing jagged against his hand. You were getting close.

“Too fucking bad,” He said, and he almost felt like he was having an out-of-body experience, listening to himself say these words. But he was beyond caring, or more importantly, was beyond the point of denying the reality. You really never cared then and he really didn’t care now. He was drunk on the need to leave you begging and wondering what you’d left behind.

“Now you show that you’re a fucking human being and not a robot? Hm? Rutting against my hand like the gold digging whore you are. You want to come don’t you?”

You nodded again, eagerly, desperately.

“Of course you do. Always wanting more,” and his voice was hoarse now. “You’re nothing to me anymore, Y/N. And you know what? My fingers in your cunt while saying that makes me so fucking hard. Feel me. Feel how hard I am just thinking about it.” He grounded his cock into your ass, and you shuddered again.

He could feel you convulsing around his fingers, clenching and unclenching when he prodded at the spongey bundle deep within you, making you thrash around in his grasp. He stilled his hand, resorting to rubbing your walls.

“Does he fuck you like I did? Hm? Or does that even matter?” Hoseok plucks your clit with his thumb and pointer finger, “It doesn’t matter does it? You’ll run to the next man with a fat cock and an even fatter wallet. I had everything baby but it wasn’t enough for you.”

There was no entity that could stop Hoseok from saying all that was to come out of his mouth like he’d bottled it all up for the past month. He picks up a punishing rhythm, your pussy struggling to clench around his fingers as they left your cunt just as quickly as they had entered. Before Hoseok can stop, you’re tumbling over the edge, breathing hard behind Hoseok’s hand.

You quaked under his touch for a long minute, and finally came down, sagging against him.

He kept his hand in your panties for a minute or two longer, loving the way it looked, loving the way it felt, and then he reluctantly withdrew. He sucked on his fingers as you turned to face him, eyes bright and cheeks clearly flushed even in the dark of the bedroom, looking nothing like the put together statue you had looked earlier. You looked positively ruined and Hoseok fucking loved it. For once feeling like he had a better idea of what was to come than you. Because the ball was in his court.

He walked backwards, sitting on your bed like he had done many times before. Only this time, instead of waiting for you to climb on to him, letting you take the reins, he demanded complete obedience and strangely, you obliged.

“Come here,” He says. “And kneel.”

You did, your breath audible now, kneeling in front of him and crossing your ankles behind you, taunting him with those eyes.

“Take them off,” He said, jerking his chin down to indicate his belted slacks. You did, impatiently tugging them off his hips, and he groaned as his erection was finally, finally let free. You sat there after completing the task as if he was giving you orders like he had before at the office. Hoseok let himself really stare you down, holding your gaze until your, dare he say, embarrassed one strayed far from his face to his cock. “Suck me like the cock hungry slut you are, Y/N.”

You continued to stare at his heavy cock against his stomach, listening to him demean you. Nothing like you’d ever imagined Hoseok to be like. “You don’t get to just take Y/N. Time to give a little baby.”

Hearing the endearment, albeit said in a more sinister context, provides enough of an incentive for you to start laving his cock with attention like never before. You pressed soft, red lips to the silky skin of his cock. “Fuck, just like that.” He breathed down at you. “Suck it good baby.”

He found your lips with his thumb, running it along your lower one and pulling it down to open you up more. “Hold still,” He told you, and then he guided his cock into your waiting mouth.

It had only been a month, and yet he’d forgotten that your mouth was like a slice of heaven, warm and wet and with that flicking, fluttering tongue that danced along the underside of his dick. He laced his hands through your hair—fucking up whatever adorable hairstyle you’d had it in—and then slowly withdrew, savouring every single second as your lips and tongue kissed against his skin. And then he slid in again, less gently this time, his eyes darting from your lips to your crossed ankles to the way your hand circled your clit as he slowly fucked your mouth. You were being so filthy, even when he had been degrading you just before, calling you all sorts of name you definitely should be refuting instead of finding them arousing enough to get on your knees for him.

You kept your eyes pinned to his, peering up at him through those long dark eyelashes, and he thought about all the times they’d distracted the hell out of him at the office and all the times that he’d fucked your brains out before, always whispering his affections for you and how crazy he was for you, at the end. And now, he just wanted to paddle your sweet ass for making him so goddamned crazy about you.

He tightened his grip in your hair. He wanted to go hard, he wanted to make your eyes water, he wanted to thrust until he reached the point where he could barely hold back from shooting down your throat.

“Ready?” He whispered to you, still wanting to tread on the side of consent and caution.

And then you groaned a frustrated groan, as if annoyed that he was asking again.

“Be patient,” he said and thrust hard into your mouth. Hoseok heard you choke as he hit the back of your throat, but he only gave you a minute before he pushed in again, and again. He knew he was longer and wider than most men, he knew he was harder to take, but Hoseok wasn’t going to cut you any slack unless you asked for it, not after that stunt. Because he was so absolutely sure that everything you did was to make him hurt. And hurt he was. Hurt and angry and horny and fucking in love with you. But you were not.

“You like being bad? You like making me punish you by going out with himof all people??”

You managed to nod, your watery eyes blinking up at him to make him even angrier. He knew you were most likely saying it to get on his nerves further. Make him leave, screaming, disgruntled and heartbroken. Jokes on you; his heart was already broke.

He swore. “You’ve made me crazy, y/n.” He sounds like on the bring on an angry yet sorrowful outburst.

But you smirk around his cock, and fuck, he hated and loved you at the same time. He hated love. He drove into your mouth several more times, right up until he could feel that familiar clench in his belly and then Hoseok pulled out, his breathing ragged from the effort it took not to come all over your gorgeous face. Instead, he used his thumb to wipe at your eyes, which were now smudged with makeup and tears. The ever-so-slightly smeared lipstick he left the way it was.

You sat there, breathing heavy, looking up at Hoseok like a deer caught in the headlights. Waiting and waiting until Hoseok is finally threading his hands in your hair again to roughly stand you up, a wince leaving your swollen, lipstick smeared lips. The venom laced in the way his mouth was sneering but it was his eyes that betrayed him. They were sad and you felt the pang of hurt you had so desperately tried to bury. And had been succeeding until he’d showed up at your door.

“You want to hurt me do you? Want to break my heart? Well,” he’s stepping forward, face so close to yours you could smell the whiskey on him, “I’m going to break you first. I’m going to fuck you until you’re crying, sobbing, begging me to stop. And when you’re as shattered as I am; you’ll run back to me to fix you.” Just like I have. But he doesn’t say that.

And in a matter of seconds, he’s tugging you out of your room with a punishing grip on your hair and throwing you on your couch, no gentleness, no warning as he pushes you face first down on the couch. He had no reservations anymore. Nothing. Because all that was repeated in his mind was that hewas nothing to you.

“H-Hoseok. P-Please.” Your muffled moan has his heart tightening and wounded at the same time. Why did you call his name like he was the only one for you when he knew you were already fucking another man? He wastes no time in making your ass bare in front of him, perched up on the arm rest of the sofa as  you race yourself by clutching the cushion of your couch. But he can’t help and take a look before he does anything. Your pink, swollen folds. The labia of your pussy bloomed like a rose, dripping and ready for him to sink in to. And that’s exactly what he does.

“Fuck! H-Hoseok. Oh god.” You’re already crying out like you’d been waiting for him to push his cock inside you for a century. Why was he doing this? Why was he digging this hole deeper than it already was and he couldn’t get out of it no matter how much he tried? Yet, with every thrust of his hardened girth spearing your cunt over and over and over has him digging his own grave. He wanted to die inside you. He was so madly, dangerously in love with you and you knew it. Because when you ask him to go faster in your high pitched mewl – he does. He fucks you like his life depends on it. Over and over and the symphony of your dripping arousal coating his length is something he wants to revel in. Knowing that it could very well be the last time he got to feel you at all.

You were crying now. Sobbing with every thrust like he’d been the one breaking open your insides instead the damage you’d done to him. Why were you so cruel? Why did you want to hurt so bad? And why did you want to hurt himso bad? Hoseok’s lost and torn between the physical pleasure and the emotional pain. Trying desperately to fuck it away.

“Hoseokie,” you cry out when start pushing back against his thrusting hips, “ f-fuck me harder. Tear me apart. You hate me right?” your puffy, teary face is looking right back at him and he’s losing his mind. “then show me.” He’s angry at the use of your nickname for him when you two were together.

His heart is pounding and his loins are firing up when you’re looking at him with your bedroom eyes with a hint of sadness? No you weren’t capable of that. You only liked to hurt others. Never yourself. Hoseok was fooling himself if he thought that this was for his revenge. You knew him and you were using him to your best advantage. And that’s the only thing that makes his grab your hips, pulling all the way out until the tip of his cockhead remains inside and then – he slams right back in. You’re almost howling and Hoseok is gripping your hair again, the silky tresses reminding him of memories he wanted to burn away before he pulls back your head harshly, bowing your back as his hips snap in to yours.

“I’ll tear you apart. Because that’s what you want right? You don’t want love. You want to hurt. And I’m going to make it hurt.” He’s sneering as he snaps hips in to you with each word while your cries accompany the already lewd sounds of skin on skin.

“I’m going to cum inside you. And you’re going to keep it in you until Namjoon wants to fuck. Do you understand me, y/n?” He swats your bottom harshly, making you yelp when you don’t respond at first.

“Y-Yes.”

“Yes what?” He slaps your ass again, the skin going crimson read and heating up as his fluid hips smack brutally against it again and again.

“Yes, sir. Hoseok!” He’s started circling your anus that was so well lubricated because of the creamy mess your pussy and his pre-leaking length had made. Hoseok was close and he needed to cum in you. He wasn’t sure what he was thinking with the alcohol still clouding his brain but he’s circling the tight ring until he can work a finger in.

“Fuck fuck fuck. Hoseok, i-it hurts.” Good. Good. I want you to fucking hurt. Even if it wasn’t the way he wanted to but this will have to suffice. But of course, after a few minutes of him slowly fucking a finger in to your ass – you were moaning already. Dripping and leaking all over his length more than ever and he knew you liked this. But you’ll never admit it. You never admitted anything. You lived your life in denial and somehow he was still so madly, insanely in love with you.

“That’s it baby,” the endearment slips him before he can stop it, knowing this was new to you as he fingers your ass while simultaneously pounding away at your cunt. And he’s close. So close to everything but you.

“I’m cumming h-hoseok I’m-” you don’t get to finish your sentence as you’re squirting on his thrusting cock with a loud shout like he’d just stabbed you a thousand times. But of course. It was the other way around. Maybe not literally but the pain was so much that it might as well be.

“That’s it… fuck,” he’s rubbing the globes of your ass, soothing the inflamed skin as he picks up pace, needing to finish while your walls were still clenching on his cock like a vice and soon enough, he’s buried himself in to you to the hilt and hot, white spurts of cum are pushed inside your battered, swollen and red cunt.

I love you. I love you.

His brain is chanting the phrase over and over while his mouth is only growling and grunting. It’s silent except for the loud breathing of the both of you. Catching your breath while you lay face down on the couch, facing towards the seat of the couch while Hoseok stood behind you.

“I hope happiness never finds you.” His whisper is soft. Sad and pathetic and vituperative. He can only hear you sniffle slightly because it’s so silent in the apartment.

You don’t say anything when he pulls out. You don’t say anything when he calls out your name, once. You don’t say anything when he zips himself up and walks out of the door, watching you not watch him as you lay facing away from the door. Away from him. And that’s it.

a/n: yeah. no part 2 because... this was written on a whim and im not too good with angst usually so hdbucibniuwrn let me know what you think? As always, thank you for reading :)

[horseluvr00-ff]

A Place to Call Home | Chapter 11

Masterlist Here

Rating: T+

Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe

Genre/Warnings: action/adventure/family | kidnapping, violence, strong language.

Summary: It’s been a few months since the Battle of New York. Steve Rogers is acclimating to life when he crosses paths with teenager Katelyn Sanders, a SHIELD recruit and highly valued asset with a dark past. Follow Kate’s adventure from SHIELD asset to Avenger to wanted fugitive over the course of her youth and into adulthood with her Avenging family. Follows Infinity Saga and beyond.

Words: 6,844

Disclaimer: Majority of properties within this fanfic are owned by Marvel/Disney. My OC Katelyn Sanders, as well as a few other unaffiliated things within this fanfic are of my own creation.

Author Note: Chapters usually average between 6k-8k words, but range from 4k to 10k. Relogs are welcome :) Please no plagiarism.

Full story available on FanFiction.net and A03 here and here

Chapter 11 can be found here and here in full. Go here to the full prologue tumblr post… So many options.

The most recently posted chapter on these platforms, chapter 12, can be found here and here.

Check out a portion of Chapter 11 below:

Kate is sitting at lunch, in the cafeteria with other kids… again. There was usually a least a month or two between such days. Gordon didn't say why, and he definitely wasn't behind it, but he didn't seem too perturbed about it.

She is sitting there eating when she freezes, her eyes snapping up to the seat across from her. No one was there. Well… No one that anyone else could detect as far as she knew.

Suddenly the empty space changed and a smaller girl took the place of the emptiness.

"Hi," She smiles, her hands grasping the edges of the bench she was sitting on as she gave Kate a smile.

Kate was silent in response; a little unsure to why this little person was sitting at the one table nobody else was at, except for her. No one sat at the table she sat at. Sometimes on the opposite side if it was especially busy, but not right in front of her.

Kate gives a little nod in greeting as she was in the middle of chewing her sandwich.

"I'm Soraya. I'm six." She smiles, lifting her hands to grip something Kate couldn't immediately detect when a tray of food suddenly appeared on the surface of the table.

Kate let her eyes dot back up to the girl as she evaluated her icy blue eyes against her dark complexion. Those eyes reminded her of her older brother. The girl's hair was a very short, curly fuzz or afro.

"Kate. Fourteen." Kate mumbles barely through the tiny bite of the sandwich she was trying to swallow.

"Kate, that's pretty. I had a friend named Kat. But that's different." She shrugs, her attention turning to her food as she began eating.

Kate slowly glanced to the side at the guards around the room; none of them were giving her an indication to get out of the situation she was currently in, however on-

"Oh, you have people here for you too?" Soraya speaks up, her eyes twinkling with curiosity. "I have one too. He's over there." Soraya turned and pointed towards the back of the room where the line for food was.

Kate looked over, seeing a man wearing a sort of thermal imaging lense attached to his helmet on one side, so one eye was seeing normally and the other thermal energy.

"If I disappear he has to be able to find me, so he has the special goggles." Soraya explains before turning back to face Kate, her eyes turning to her mashed potatoes as she got a huge bite on her fork and stuffed it into her mouth.

Kate gave a small nod in response to Soraya's words.

She hadn't heard so much talking since she was at Stark Tower surrounded by non-SHIELD people.

"How long have you been here?" She questions, her eyes meeting Kate for a split second before they shot back down to her plate. "I've been here with the good guys for only a month I think. That's what they said. I was only with the bad men for a little while. What about you?" At the second question, Soraya stopped so Kate could answer.

Kate paused her actions, turning up to meet the young girl's eyes hesitantly.

She was still so innocent. She really must have been with the warehouse for only a short time. If she was doing this well already, she had a good chance of a nice future ahead of her.

"I was with the bad men for like two years." Kate responds, setting her cup of tea down.

The young girl's eyes widened in response, all her attention was on Kate as she abandoned her tray of food.

"But I've been with the good guys for almost three years now." Kate tries to pull together a small smile.

She was so young; SHIELD wouldn't compromise her like this. Due to her age, they'd probably stick her back with her family until she was old enough for training- if they were still alive. There was a chance they weren't. That was a little known fact amongst people like them… If you were taken, chances are the warehouse would have your family killed, along with anyone else who may come looking for you.

"That's a long time." Soraya whispers, her eyes falling towards the table.

Kate gave a small nod as she picked up her tea and took a small sip.

"What is that?" Her tone changed back to curious and Kate almost felt herself smile. She hadn't really been around someone as hopeful as Soraya was before. Not in a long time at least.

"Tea," Kate responds, swallowing a small sip of the beverage before she set it down on the table.

"My mommy always used to drink tea. She said coffee is bad for you, but- she still wouldn't let me try her tea." Soraya mumbles, her one hand now fiddling with an empty Dixie cup that most likely had water in it at one point.

Kate paused for a moment as she watched the small being glumly start stirring the remains of mashed potatoes on her plate. She hadn't touched her broccoli yet.

Suddenly Kate felt a small jolt shoot through her arm and hand from the band on her wrist, and her eyes snapped up towards one of the men on the far wall as he proceeded to tap his wrist.

"Here," Kate quickly picked up her mug of tea; about half of it left, and placed it on Soraya's side of the table.

Her eyes lit up as the beverage was placed in front of her.

"It's lemon flavor, try it." Kate urges gently, slowly getting up from her seat while eyeing the now fascinated girl holding the mug of tea.

Soraya quickly lifted it to her lips and took a seemingly large gulp, as Kate could clearly hear it.

The girl paused for a moment before taking another gulp, briefly holding it in her cheeks for a moment, almost like a chipmunk, causing Kate to let a smile break.

"You like it?"

Soraya gave a nod, her cheeks still rounded out while she held a large gulp of the beverage in her mouth.

"I gotta go, but why don't you finish that for me." Kate smiles gently, her hand finding her tray as she quickly picked it up and went to walk away.

"Hwm-" Soraya hummed through her tea before she quickly swallowed it and set the mug down. Kate paused, turning over her shoulder as she heard the small noise. "Can I sit with you tomorrow?"

Kate froze, her lightened expression falling.

"This is my first day in the food room. I don't have any friends yet."

Kate clenched her jaw before her eyes snapped over towards the three men who were there for her, they were talking quietly with each other, waiting for Kate to come over.

Slowly retracing her steps, Kate came back to her original spot at the table for a brief moment.

"I-..." Kate tried to form together some sort of explanation for why they may not see each other again, but she couldn't find a statement gentle enough for the young girl. "I don't think I'll be at lunch tomorrow," Kate finally responds, her tone quiet and gentle.

Soraya's expression contorted with confusion.

"Why not?"

"Well, I have very special training with the good guys… So I do lots of traveling." Kate explains, her eyes drawing out and about as she quickly tried to formulate a very innocent and very false explanation.

"Will I have special training?" Soraya looked intrigued.

"When you're older, probably." Kate gives a small smile.

"In the meantime though, why don't you see about making some friends." Kate tilts her head gently to the side while eyeing the girl. "I can be your first friend, if you want." Kate states before letting out a small breath as she briefly sat back down.

"Okay," Soraya smiles, her hands loosely holding the mug that was now sitting on the table. "You gotta pinky swear it though." She suddenly adds before holding out her pinky finger.

Kate felt her warm expression falter.

A pinky what?

"I don't know how to do that," Kate chuckles, slowly lifting her left hand as Soraya held out hers.

"We hold pinkies!" She laughs before linking her pinky with Kate's. "There. Now you have to be my friend forever." She smiles, almost triumphantly.

Kate gives a small smile before nodding as she let her hand fall away. Taking her tray once again, Kate quickly took it toward the trash bin. Emptying it into the round barrel, her eyes found the three men as they approached her and began leading her out of the room.

Glancing over her shoulder, Kate spotted Soraya standing, her feet still over the bench as she waved over the heads of various kids. Damn she was really cute. It's been a while since someone that young was brought to SHIELD… That Kate knew of at least.

Kate gave a small smile and a wave before they walked out of view and down the hall, her expression returning to a neutral one immediately after.

She was so innocent to the situation… Kate hoped she still had family out there somewhere who could take her in. Otherwise… She didn't want to think about the potential outcomes for that young girl's future.

As they made their way down halls and through restricted areas, Kate's brow slowly knit when she realized she was in an unfamiliar area. They would've been in the elevator by now heading back towards her room. Where were they going?

Kate kept her head down as they proceeded down the hall and then towards an elevator. She didn't recognize it.

As they came to a stop in front of the lift, the man on her left lifted his badge to swipe it before he began putting in a code on the keypad.

This didn't feel right. Usually Gordon would say something about schedule changes-... Although, his recently chipper behavior was setting off some alarm bells. He wouldn't be this… positive, unless there was something he wanted that he was getting.

The ride up the lift, because she could tell they were going up, was long and tense. Now that Kate was aware that something was up, she was on guard.

As the elevator came to a stop, Kate blinked a couple times before clenching her jaw and swallowing. Her eyes grazed over her own feet as she tried to listen or detect anything out of the ordinary.

"A1 ready for extraction" The words left the mouth of the agent to her right as he lifted his wrist closer to his mouth. The statement caused Kate to let a confused look escape as her eyes dotted between the three armed men around her.

Well that proved her theory. They were taking her somewhere…

Gordon's words about transfers and some location called the Centurion floated back into Kate's mind as she remained silent. Her feet were moving and the agents were escorting her through what appeared to be a private or restricted exit of the Oriah installation. She could hear car engines and the voices of many other people getting closer as they continued their way through some sort of garage.

The Centurion… Kate quickly recalled as much as she could from that conversation she overheard Gordon having with Banks and a couple others. Something about her training being resumed at this new location. At least that's what it sounded like.

Kate's gaze jumped up when the voices coming from the opposite side of the garage became more clear and she recognized Gordon's.

As she looked up, she noticed the conversations starting to die out and eyes moved towards her. Gordon looked prideful. She didn't recognize the people he was speaking with, but by the looks of them and their unfamiliar uniforms, they might be from this new place she's going to.

"Put the asset in the transport." Gordon gestures to the armed agents escorting Kate.

Kate's eyes returned to the ground as the seconds passed and soon enough she was being ushered into a vehicle. Kate's eyes lifted when she saw a containment unit further in the truck. It was separate from the vehicle, like it could be removed. It was a sort of box shape, most likely air-tight. Inside it was a place for her to sit, as well as binders for her limbs; arms, forearms, upper and lower legs… She hadn't seen a containment cell this advanced in a while… Not one for her at least.

"I must admit, I am impressed with this model." The words caused Kate to briefly look over her shoulder as Gordon came into view with several others, towards the back of the truck, standing outside of it. "Your team doesn't disappoint."

"Your contact in Russia came in handy." A man next to Gordon responds, gesturing towards-... Well not Kate but- what she was now sitting in. "I must credit the collaboration itself."

Kate's eyes briefly dotted between the agents as they proceeded to lock the clamps around her. Her eyes snap up when both agents go for something behind her as they pull a large clamp over her head that locked over her shoulders and across her chest.

"It carries a charge?" Gordon questions, turning his gaze briefly to the man next to him.

"Of course. All of the restraints do. However the charge can be adjusted as needed, as can the sensitivity set off."

Kate clenched her jaw as the men stepped out of the container and proceeded to close the door. It went quiet almost immediately. There was some kind of sound proofing.

Kate watched through the glass as Gordon shook the man's hand before he walked out of view. Some words were exchanged before the three armed agents who escorted her left the back of the truck, almost a dozen different armed agents taking their place as they hopped into the back of the truck and sat down on the benches lining the space. The two on the ends closed the doors and not seconds later the vehicle jolted forward and they were moving.

Kate clenched her jaw before her eyes zoned out ahead towards the back door of the vehicle.

This day had definitely taken a turn. Where ever she was going… She wasn't looking forward to it.

The rest of chapter 11 can be found here on FFN and here on AO3. Take a peak!

Stay healthy, stay safe, sending lots of love. <3

Masterlist Here