#and I can always go visit her
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
brown-little-robin · 3 days ago
Text
I think I'm in the "conscious incompetence" stage of being a social animal in the real world and it sucks so majorly. bro what do you do after you realize you're bad at socializing and then in-person interaction gets harder because you know you're failing at it now.
#Robin processes emotions on main#I WANT to get good at socializing#I used to be better and I'm now worse >:[#in some ways. in some ways I've improved (e.g. am kinder). but I used to have more confidence and an easier time staying present#now I'm always shutting down and running away#literally I leave the room and go calm down in my room#I want to learn to regulate that impulse and become a chill person to hang out with. but How#I've been struggling lately with punishing myself for running away (not physically but with like. spirals of self-recrimination)#I think one good step would be to get mindful about praising myself for small steps again. I'll change faster if im kinder to myself#also I think seeking reassurance from the people I'm around more often even if it seems silly would be good#ALSO. a major problem I'm facing is that I am living with my parents. and my little sisters. and I don't... I... it's rough.#I used to parent my 15 (then 9) y/o little sister when my parents were gone and I still struggle with feeling Responsible For Her#so every time she's a little cringe I end up feeling like it's my fault and I'm gonna be punished for it and I don't know how to deal with#—how to deal with it#BIG SIGH#I'm TRYING to become a good adult who can help others rather than just living in desperate self-defensive survival mode forever#but it's so hard bro#and another issue is that I'm growing further and further apart from my parents' fundamentalist brand of Christianity#and feeling more and more incapable of making friends and bringing them to visit me. because I have to be perfect around my parents#how can I make friends if I can't offer them hospitality??#how can I be a fully realized adult if I have to hide in plain sight??#I need to move out so bad. even if I'm lonely at first I HAVE to move out#in related news my seasonal job is Over and I'm looking for full-time work! please pray for me if you're the praying type or just#send me encouraging words#that would help#<33333 I will be ok it's just a bad situation rn
38 notes · View notes
briarmoon1015 · 10 days ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
That one thing I reblogged with Iris and patty has rewrote my brain cells
53 notes · View notes
loverboybrightsideghost · 15 days ago
Text
one of my favorite clark headcanons that i have (that is completely unsupported by canon) is that he's transgender by kryptonian standards. martha and jon kent raised him as a boy and as he grew up he never had any reason to doubt it at all, he was like yeah i'm a boy, makes sense. and then he gets to the fortress of solitude for the first time and it turns out how Gender works on krypton was just Different enough that clark doesn't really fit the kryptonian standards of whatever he was supposed to be. bonus points because this makes him feel like even more of an outsider as a kryptonian, even if he's the last one left.
#do i know what those kryptonian gender customs are? no and i kind of don't care to come up with them#just cuz that's not my favorite thing to do but someone else can if they like my idea#i just love the idea of 1) trans clark 2) clark discovering his heritage but also as he learns more about his heritage#realizing that because of how he was raised- and it was nobody's fault- even though it's the only explanation for why he's so different#from humans he still can't help but feel like he's not a real kryptonian either#brought to you by THIS STARTED AS A FUN HEADCANON FOR HIM TO BE TRANS IN A COOL ALIEN WAY#BUT TURNED OUT TO BE ACTUALLY PROJECTION OF SOME PERSONAL SHIT I HAVE ONLY CONSCIOUSLY THOUGHT ABOUT LIKE TWICE SO OOPS#bluebird.txt#superman#was watching superman 1978 and i don't have any real thoughts about it yet but i'm just rotating in my head#that jor-el said 'this is your home.' when describing krypton.#like. he's never been there. he can never go there. it doesn't exist anymore and he will be raised human.#he will be raised in a world that is so completely unlike his own and he will not grow up with as a kryptonian.#and yet jor-el says of krypton 'this is your home.'#like just give me a moment.#so interesting to me who considers who what. some guy in high school#told me i wasn't mexican because i din't recognize some candies my (cuban) teacher brought back when he visited mexico#he said i wasn't even latino#well first of all that guy was a first-class asshole seriously my kudos to him#for having such an impressive amount of hatred and unhappiness in his little soul#second of all. he didn't think i was latino. my own sister only calls me mexican when it's convenient for her#my parents are proud of their american children and in high school my mexican (as in grew up there) friend wa always proud#to call me a fellow mexican (or at least a chicana)#so i just find it so fascinating that in this movie jor-el says son you will never know your birthplace your parents's home firsthand#but it is your home.#my parents would never EVER call mexico my home i don't think they'd even call it THEIR home#i just. i'm thinking about it a lot.#high fives clark kent in child of immigrants and everything that means swag solidarity
19 notes · View notes
antiyourwokehomophobia2 · 6 months ago
Text
I wonder what it is about breaking up with someone and starting new that I find so upsetting. I realize that people also find break ups heartbreaking, but I know I take it to an extreme. I've never liked the idea of having different partners throughout my life. The idea of having an ex has always been something I hated. The type of breakup didn't matter to me. That is to say whether we ended on good or bad terms didn't make the idea of ending a relationship better to me. I'm not trying to be pretentious about it, I'm just being fr about a sentiment I've held for as long as I can remember. I've never been the type of person who enjoyed the idea of hook ups or casual dating. For better or worse, I've always held the belief that romantic relationships should be all in and serious from the beginning.
I think this feeling is definitely exacerbated by the fact that I've been passed up for another person before so I know what it's like to have someone "move on" from you, and it genuinely sucks like all fucking hell lmao. So the idea of "moving on" and being with someone else has been incredibly tarnished for me.
34 notes · View notes
perilegs · 5 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
my sweet little baby man is no longer with us
#he had his bloodwork done yesterday and the vet said it was fine but he doesnt have much time left#and my bestie is a vet tech who wanted to see the lab results bc she always does and she looked at them#and asked me if she can shiw them to her boss today and i was like sure and immediately knew something was up#today keekki was being himself#then i went to run some errands and when i came back he was laying in front of the front door with his tiny baby head against it#and i was like ''oh ok one of his seizures?''#and theyre like. keekki will drool and not move and they usually last for like 20 minutes (several vets have no idea whats up with those#but it was probably either a kidney or a blood pressure thing)#anyways. it did not pass in 20 minutes so i Knew#i laid on the floor next to him#then my bff sent me a message asking me if i have the time to talk about keekki and its not good news#at this point i was about to call the vet anyways#and she was like ''ok i showed these to my boss (a vet) and she got super angry that ur vet even let you leave the clinic''#bc apparently keekkis bloodwork was so bad he should have been put down then and there but my vet was like a fresh half graduate#so i dont hold it against her. anyways i got an euthanasia appointment for this evening and spent the time before it laying on the couch#crying with keekki in my arms#i had to carry him bc he couldnt really walk without stumbling and falling down#when i had to get up to get his carrier and stuff ready he was taking a nap on the couch where i left him and i took this pic#anyways worst vet visit of my life i could hardly even do anything but nod half the time bc speaking results in me sobbing#anyways. this fucking sucks#i dont know how ill be able to sleep tonight#its been years since i last slept at home without having a little guy plop into my arms#i spent a long time with him in the vet room when he was gone#it feels surreal ive given him his last ever forehead kisses#as i left the room i told him bye the exact same way ive been saying bye to him for the last very many years ive had him#its always moikka keekki before i go to work or the store or literally anything#and that was my last moikka keekki#i hope he felt how loved he was#my dad is sending me older pics of me and keekki and he looks so happy in them. hes always right next to me#idk man im going to stop rambling now
22 notes · View notes
hecatesbroom · 8 months ago
Text
Blanche's grandma's place is the only place she felt consistently loved in... no I'm fine. I'm fine
#the IMPLICATIONS#i completely forgot about that line#room 7 makes me lose my mind in general but ohhh my god#OH my god#i'm#yeah no i'm fine#i have so many feelings about this i can't even put them into words#idk but she speaks about that place with so so much nostalgia#we see blanche in a way we've never seen her with anyone from her past#she didn't look even remotely as happy or peaceful (or nostalgic!) when she visited her childhood home#but when she's in her grandma's old home? she calls it her family home#she talks about it like *that's* the place she grew up in#because apparently it was the only place she was always sure she could be loved#so i guess it might not have been the only place she grew up in#but it sure sounds like it was the one place she was allowed to be herself in and still be loved unconditionally#without competing for anyone's attention#ohh blanche ;-;#i teared up when she held that windchime and smiled right before finally leaving that house#that was *such* a powerful moment ;-;#anyway#uh#i guess i'll just go and stare at a wall or something now#the golden girls#blanche devereaux#adding on to this to say that maybe it really was the only place she grew up in#because to grow up i'd say you need an environment where you can at least somewhat freely explore your identity#without feeling a constant need to be the best/cutest/prettiest sister to get your parents' love and approval#it sounds like blanche grew older in her childhood home#and she got the chance to *grow up* with her grandma#(i knoooow i'm reading too much into this but i can't stop thinking about this episode)
17 notes · View notes
throwawayasoiafaccount · 8 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Op… you make a lot of interesting claims in this post. To get the facts straight before I go on a rant… 1) George claims that Rhaegar was a love struck prince 2) the books don’t mention anything about any marriages being annulled/anyone being set aside 3) seems like Dorne has no issue with Rhaegar and 4) Ned literally never thinks anything bad about Rhaegar… but thinks ill of Robert.
First off, a man trapped in a duty bound marriage and finding love outside that marriage is completely different from a whoremonger shouting about his love while visiting brothels whenever he could. And guess what… Ned straight up thinks that Rhaegar didn’t seem like someone who’d visit brothels. Robert and Rhaegar couldn’t be any more different.
And when did Lyanna want to be wild and free? When is it ever said that Rhaegar locked her in the tower of joy and that Lyanna was a prisoner?
Ned never even alludes to there being any truth in any of these claims. What we do know is that Lyanna greatly resembles Arya in looks and personality… and Arya wants to be a high septon and kings counselor, meaning Arya wants to have a position of power and not be reduced to a baby making machine. Going off of that… it seems like Lyanna didn’t want to be “wild and free,” she just wanted to be treated with respect. The only reason Arya is even treated like she’s wild is because she doesn’t conform to the Westerosi standards for highborn women.
And of course she’d feel miserable when she heard Aerys killed her brother and father. Aerys. Not Rhaegar. I wouldn’t even be surprised if she felt guilt about what happened, but in the end it was Aerys who brutally killed them. And then Rhaegar goes to protect his family and dies, and then Rhaegar’s family is brutally killed and then Lyanna dies. George did claim that the greatest love stories are the tragedies (i may be misremembering but i know he said something along the lines of that lmao).
Op, you claim that Rhaelyas love would’ve died after getting news of the Starks deaths, and then you try to suggest that Rhaegar may have been keeping Lyanna isolated from news in Dorne… like please pick a story to go with! And Rhaelyas love dying or Lyanna not being kept updated on what was going on outside of Dorne just doesn’t seem to be true. When reading Neds chapters, it seems like Lyanna was fully aware of what happened to Rhaegar’s children and Elia… as Lyanna pleaded with Ned like how Sansa pleaded with Ned to not kill Lady (hope i’m not misremembering here lol). And Rhaegar dying with a woman’s name on his lips (likely Lyanna’s name) and Lyanna clutching a winter rose (this may just be symbolism for baby Jon tbh) until she passed away seems to contradict your belief that their love died.
Also, where are you getting the “Rhaegar would suggest to set aside his kids and wife to marry Lyanna” from? The show? You mention how Lyanna would not be okay with this, and I agree that Lyanna would never be fine with setting Elia and Elia’s children aside. But even thinking that Rhaegar would ever even suggest setting aside Elia and his children is bonkers. Like seriously… there was so much tension between Aerys and Rhaegar that the Royal court was said to have begun looking like the situation before the Dance of the Dragons. And Dorne was Rhaegar’s greatest support! Why would it make any sense for him to annul his marriage with Elia? And please remember that during the sack Rhaenys hid under her fathers bed. The text supports him loving his kids/his child who wasn’t a baby seeking to be protected by him so why would he endanger them and their positions? (and no, disappearing with Lyanna for awhile isn’t him endangering his family. Aerys was the one who endangered his family (hot take brandon was the one who endangered the starks like wth was he thinking???). and tbh it seems like Aerys knew exactly where to find Rhaegar so did Rhaegar and Lyanna even disappear? or were they just keeping their location a secret from the rebels? the rebels who ended up killing Rhaegar’s family?)
I will say that how op first started to characterize Lyanna is something I agree with, her being principled, noble, honorable, and just with a sensitive side seems to be true, but then op goes on to continue to claim that Lyanna was wild and that she had little regard as to how other people perceived her. There’s no reason for us to believe that she didn’t care about what others thought of her or that she was wild and wanted freedom more than anything, it just seems like she dared to tread away from what was expected of Westerosi highborn women and that she didn’t want to be married to Robert. And guess what… Robert ended up being an abuser! *gasp* Lyanna dear… you clocked Robert right away.
And seriously… how does any of what op mentioned back up their claim that Lyanna would never resign herself to the position of a mistress? Is being a mistress/paramour really that bad? Does it truly seem like Lyanna would look down on those women? Her mini me Arya doesn’t look down on the courtesans of Braavos who occupy a similar position as mistresses in society. And it seems like plenty of noblewomen have been mistresses in the past and they are still as respected as a woman can be in Westerosi society. Missy Blackwood and Elaena Targaryen are right there. And Op, if Lyanna was Rhaegar’s mistress, why would you think that Lyanna couldn’t have been happy? Are we going to doubt Ellarias happiness and her love of Oberyn because they weren’t married? Should I doubt Rhaenyra and Harwins happiness because Rhaenyra was married to Laenor? Rhaegar and Elias marriage was not a love match. And if Rhaegar and Lyanna did marry… ever wonder if polygamy was introduced as a Valyrian practice by George to hint at Rhaegar taking a second wife? Should I now doubt Rhaenys and Aegons happiness and love because Rhaenys was Aegons second wife?
Now can we please stop acting like two people married due to duty have any reason to love each other? Nedcat seems to be an exception in Westeros. Lyanna and Rhaegar falling in love isn’t ruining Elia and Rhaegar’s marriage when love wasn’t there in the first place.
haha my whole post is a bit messy i just wanted to get my thoughts out :)
fuckkkk i want to tag more (my tags are a mess lmao no i’ve not gone through them and no they will not make any sense)
#robert was a brute#when did lyanna seem disgusted by roberts bastards?#seems like she was just disgusted by roberts behavior of claiming to love her while visiting brothels#say it with me folks: there’s not a single mention of rhaegar loving elia their marriage was for duty#so no rhaegar is not like robert bc rhaegar found love outside of his marriage of duty#robert treated lyanna like an object and never even saw/loved the real her#lyanna clocked that and later fell in love with a man who loved the real her#aka the knight of the laughing tree#yeah the text hasn’t truly confirmed anything yet but at least my version of events isn’t contradicted by the books#omg ppl need to stop acting like being a mistress is some morally corrupt position god damn#nedcat you will always be famous#but jon snow will always be even more famous#bc he’s rhaelyas love child#rip rhaegar lyanna and elia i’ll save you guys from tumblr bad takes#i love that george makes it clear that marriages of duty can be nasty affairs#and tumblr desides to demonize characters who dared to find love instead of criticizing the system of selling daughters off like broodmares#like bruh i would be sooo happy to learn if elia had a paramour on the side#i’m looking at you elia x ashara shippers#tho i don’t think that they had a romantic relationship i do find it hilarious that ppl who claim rhaegar is horrible and endangered his#…family turn around and applaud elia for potentially doing the same…#couldn’t be me tho i pretend that rhaelya and their children are perfectly happy and that elia found love as well#as i think rhaelya were well in their rights to go against the system that tried making them miserable and i hope elia did the same#these tags are a mess and kinda don’t make sense lmao#rhaegar targaryen you will always be famous#asoiaf fandom critical#rip boar you will be missed#robert deserved worse#ppl need to stop acting like rhaelya is homewrecking when george himself calls elia and rhaegar’s marriage complex#jon will learn that his parents were in love and he’ll learn good shit about them and he’ll think good thoughts about them#and then this fandom will go insane and jon will start being hated like dany for daring to love his parents
14 notes · View notes
yaoyuandaydream · 10 months ago
Text
there's a fifteen hour time difference, and her phone was on do not disturb. not that picking up right away would have changed anything. what's gone has already been leaving, a dinner table an ocean away, tired eyes slowly drifting away and names gradually slipping out of the grasp of wrinkled hands, rough from decades of putting food on the table.
last summer, i sat next to ah-ma in her wheelchair and helped her cut sashimi into smaller pieces. she used to take her bike out every day and bring back chelunbing for us. i swear up and down nothing else will ever taste as good. she always said it was a secret where she bought them from. they probably closed down years ago, but i guess i'll never know now.
we piled into the taxi while ah-ma was taking her afternoon nap. my ma's eyes were red, but i politely pretended not to notice. i didn't ask why she didn't wake her. it's easier this way, because it's a twelve hour flight and at least twelve months before she could return. it's easier this way, because the relief when ah-ma said our names correctly was too sharp, serrated on the edge of not knowing if she will remember the next time.
there's a fifteen hour time difference, and the funeral is in two weeks. what's gone will never return with sweets in her basket, but the warmth of her palms linger.
15 notes · View notes
thotsfortherapy · 10 months ago
Text
having mommy issues be like I hate that you know me I hate that we’re related I hate that you birthed me I hate that you don’t know how to love me properly I hate that you can’t see how much you hurt me I hate that I’m expected to love you
#cy says stuff#I moved out when I was 17 for a reason#but I do still go back to visit when schools out sometimes and I regret it every single time#every time we talk I’m like damn is it time to call it quits because this is not it#I literally feel like I’m constantly on the brink of being disowned or kicked out of the house when I’m there#but it’s also for things like. bringing a single bottle of wine to a Christmas party that I did not even drink#or like. moving in with my partner of 4 years. because we are going to the 2nd most expensive city in Canada and girl I cannot pay the rent#or being upset when she reads my diary ?? or reads my credit card statements without permission and also just like behind my back??#like do you think I’m not going to find out when you bring up information you only would’ve known if you had read those things#I can put two and two together…#also I’m literally almost done my university degree. i am fully an adult. these should not be issues !#ahhhhh!!!#anyways I will speak to my therapist about this lol#also y’all my friends are always like oh I love my mom and it just seems to be a socially accepted thing that you should love your mom#but what if your mom sucks what then#I genuinely cannot relate to them I’m like literally what does that feel like#the first time I felt loved was when I was 15 lol there is 0 love in my family#anyways !#it’s okay I am out of it and I have been out of it#just#always on the brink of cutting her off forever lol#some ppl just never change as much as you want them to and that is tough to accept.#it is also harder because society is telling my that I need to stay loyal to my family cause they’re blood#but if this were anyone else I would’ve blocked them so long ago 😭
16 notes · View notes
beyondtheyard · 8 months ago
Text
i want to be known as the yardblr blog who wants maya on the pod
18 notes · View notes
secondchoice-ragdoll · 8 months ago
Text
#T's “what did u call me? do u think whatever that is is hot? okay then good”#i love the tour pic above K!#and i love how they r still plucked abt not being in Dune2#K the avid winker...#its so cute how T is featured on this album of K's too😭😭😭#T wants to be left alone (on the phone) on her bday and K wants attention... well... ((once again relating to K))#T looked at Ks belly in a suprisingly like? soft way? idk i might have hallucinated that but who knows.#fuck whoever didnt visit K when she would have wanted them to.#its sweet how T visited her! (srsly cant u just communicate who wants what in this situation so its no suprise? ik its hard for them but😭)#T describing Ks party attending habits!!! they know each other soooo well🤭#aaagh how they have to act like they cant easily spend 2 hrs together having fun when they literally cant wipe the smiles off of their faces#(lesbians..... lovesick idiots.......)#oh they r always facetiming! so adorable :(#T was so excited that they r linked! like girl u do not need more confirmation for that research do u?😭#K watching the pod...... my heart......#why dont they just sit closer if they will reach across a whole fucking room to touch eachother?? like it sounds easier for me but u do u!#i really get a kick out of K mentioning TRHPS anytime she does it bc ik it was such a big thing in Ts life and ugh😭#constantly praising each other😭😭😭😭😭 what if i start sobbing huh#well maybe T is trying to get K to learn how to flirt so that she can practice on her? just an idea?😁#K putting her leg up on T?????? hi what? jist sit in the other's lap u creatures... its okay we can all look away for a sec if u need it...#their art! i fucking love it! both of it! its art at its finest🛐 and id kill to see a collection of their drawings bc cmon they r amazing!#its cute how they r talking abt smth and then they go “oh wait we were there together!”#its almost as if they actually spend time hanging out😱 (dont let the police know!!4!4)#“if we were on DR now-” okay but why r u still dreaming of that miss T?🤭🤭🤭 (who could blame her)#them watching the movies the other one recommends is the closest we can get to them watching an actual thing together (outside of NF)#also im so happy T spent time w K on her bday :(((#trixie mattel#katya zamo#tbatb#the brians
12 notes · View notes
wewerebornsextuplets · 6 months ago
Text
why do i always get ideas for lore changes After posting. is he stupid?
7 notes · View notes
johnnycrass · 6 months ago
Text
I am an Aries and the majority of my astrological chart is Aquarius and Aries placements, but good Lord that moon in Pisces is strong
16 notes · View notes
reksink · 10 days ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
"Precious things, all of them..."
5 notes · View notes
slippery-minghus · 15 days ago
Text
oof
#actually yeah remember that time i had swine flu#i had a 104 degree fever and was terrified to go to the hospital#not because of the hospital but because i'd have to manage my parents' emotions and anxiety while i was there on top of being sick as hell#i locked myself in the bathroom refusing to let my dad take me to the ER#and only gave in when he promised he wouldn't tell my mom#and then his girlfriend told my mom. they fucking lied#and then. you guessed it. i had to manage everyone's emotions while we waited for the ER to do literally nothing#the swine flu tests were super unreliable and i got a false negative. they sent me home with some antibiotics and called it a day#then sheepishly called a week later when the second test came back positive to basically ask if i was still alive#swine flu fucked me up for a long time. but it didn't warrant an er visit#and it certainly didn't warrant my parents fucking breaking my trust like that#i know they only told my mom so they didn't have to deal with her going off after the fact#which is such bullshit. that's the kind of thing a parent is supposed to take and shield their kid from#not break their trust so you get it easy#but of course. if my dad had been one to take my aversion to my mom seriously then. then he and i wouldn't be going on 4yrs of no contact#because a looooot of things would've had to be different for that one thing to happen#god i have so much anger for my parents. so much grief#my mom's been surprisingly silent (all things considered) in the near month i've been no contact with her#and it's not like seeing the disgusting emails and voicemails from her feels good but... but they're almost better than nothing.#they're sort of love. in a way. not really... but. but it hurts to know how hard my dad fought to get through to me#and to have spent the past 4yrs with my mom rubbing in my face how she'd never be like him and Just let me go. how she'd fight.#being told that at the time didn't feel like love. didn't feel healthy. and now seeing that she didn't even fucking mean it.#she prided herself so much on being the one who Loved Me More. really hard not to see it for the performance it was now#makes me wonder if my dad really actually did love me as much as he said. not that it was much but. it was more. it was something#i know he's not capable of change. even less capable than my mom. but. i really miss my dad right now.#(​glad i can still remember what his voice sounds like. so i don't have to go listen to one of those old voicemails he left me)#even considering that the memory that brought this all up was him lying to me and betraying my trust#being no contact with my parents...i'm finally the orphan i always have been#personal#ahhhh therapy's gonna be JUICY this week 🤣
4 notes · View notes
itsalwaysdark · 1 month ago
Text
and when i live on my own ill be able to decorate like real life decorate ive never gotten to do that in real life b4
#like im not barred from doing it Nd i do like. a little bit kind of but its like. Idk my entire life is a very transient thing and im rly#rly rly not used to being in one place for a long time so as a kid we never rly decorated ever#and like obv i wont be Owning a house or anything like that so itll still have to be moveable but i can like. but furniture that i like and#stuff... ive never gotten to do that b4 even in um. wa. i didnt rly get to do any of the decorating even when i was in the actual house bc#him and the roommates umm. did all that. Okay well now ive sort of freaked it by making myself think of that so im going to go stare#longingly at the floorplan i did#bc umm. well ideally id like to move into one of the apartments thats right across the way bc theres a couple of apt buildings like right#there 5 min walk tops and one of the places Has an open one but no floorplan#i wont be movjng out for ages i just wanted to look at floorplans yk#but like i said no floorplans BUT theres one a bit further away not rly walkable bc its umm#youd have to walk on the interstate and stuff and um. no sidewalk and everything but theeeeeeeeee thing had a floorplan#still very close by like 2 min drive but yk. but i still did my little mockup floorplan with that apartment instead#i want it to be closeby so everybody can come visit and so that i dont die and explode . i dont rly want to continue living in this town#4ever once km like Normal and have savings and ive got everything worked out i wanna maybe move to chicago or something since il is better#for the transgenderisms. + ive always wanted to try living in a big city at least once and i think itd be awesome#but thats Ages and ages away like maybe 5 years depending on how good i am. weeee will see if 5 years in the future is like on the table 4#me LOLLLL 24 year old connor seems rly crazy to imagine. but anyways....#but itll be nice to move out and still be in town bc then i can have the same job yk . and maybe ill know how to drive atp and i can like .#buy a car ..or something . if i do know how to drive#which i probably should since this town very car dependent and i dont want my mom to have to drive me to work esp if umm. i dont live with#them ... im just rly rly rly rly rly fucking scared of driving but i know also in my heart that when i do know how to drive the bond between#me and that car will be crazyyyy like. idk how many of you followed me last year but you may remember my insane bond with angel my cart from#work and there was a lot gokng on woth that <- was Very delusional at the time and i was convinced that she was a sentient thing and had the#power to make my life better or worse if i upset her so i said good morning and goodnight to her every single day so that i could have a#good day . looking back on it probably was something to be concerned abt but whatever.... she is still my best friend and i do miss her#deeply#her bathtub and heater were my besttt friends when i was in wa LOL. i was quite unwell#bathtub is still in my room tho yayyy. heater lives with lamp now and angel is of course at my old job....#bathtub currently is holding a project i gave up on. everyone say thank.you bathtub im looking at her right now
4 notes · View notes