#and I GET it everyone's situation is different

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hey um, what if the Overblot boys told each other their backstories?

Mmm… Well firstly, I think it would take a lot of effort to arrive at a point where all of the OB boys would even feel comfortable being that emotionally intimate with the others. Many of the OB boys are highly guarded and resistant to putting themselves in compromising positions. For example, I can easily see Azul being paranoid that the others would use his background as blackmail; he would not risk having his own vulnerabilities becoming public knowledge. Would Leona really be okay with being sentimental in front of various people he dislikes, especially Malleus and Vil? Would Idia feel safe unpacking his trauma and grief in front of his peers? Etc, etc, etc.

Secondly, I think that even if the OB boys were hypothetically at the point where they were okay sharing their backstories with the others, it wouldn’t change much about their immediate circumstances?? The OB boys generally don’t strike me as particularly… empathetic? At least not automatically empathetic. It’s something they would need to put effort into and actively work on. I imagine that they’d otherwise just pull a Zuko-style “That’s rough, buddy” or potentially even say something tactless that rubs their peers the wrong way (for example, not fully understanding the situation or even downplaying one another’s trauma). Riddle (someone with very little to no experience with social media and entertainment mediums) might not get how being a celebrity influences Vil’s life, Leona might insult Malleus (someone whom he has a bone to pick with), everyone might still be upset with Malleus for what he did to them in book 7. etc. Each OB boy only has their own experiences as the lens through which they see and interact with the world, and it’s not that easy for just anyone to put themselves in the shoes of another person.

Hearing a (for lack of a better term) traumadump doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll connect with it or understand just how grueling it was for the person who experienced said trauma. It would usually take a significant amount of time and reflection (ideally facilitated by a licensed mediator or professional) to digest those stories in group therapy and to make sure that everyone actually understands one another. A surface-level story retelling alone in most cases isn’t (again, for lack of a better term) “enough”, especially with how self-centered, emotionally immature, and different many of the OB boys are.

Think of empathy like a skill or a muscle. It isn’t innate. You need to develop it and train it, and not putting it to use can lead to atrophy. And given how arrogant and independent your usual NRC student is… yeah, it’s definitely going to be something for them all to work on.

If you want to think of it another way, it’s like how different players will react differently to reading the OB boys’s backstories. Someone who experienced bullying similar to Azul could more easily empathize with him while also not fully “getting” the full scope of other stories they hear. Maybe they can’t understand why Riddle still cares about the mother who mistreated him. Maybe they don’t see why Jamil sacrifices so much for his family. It doesn’t make the player a bad person for not understanding all the stories, it simply means they have a limited perspective. The same is true of the TWST characters; they, too, have incomplete points of views.

Maybe knowing their backstories in advance would change some scenes in small ways (such as book 6, when they split up and then butt heads with each other). They’d know where the other boys were coming from, and how that informs how they act in present day. However, I maintain that I think not much would change from the original. In a stressful situation like book 6, they could easily slip up and say something insensitive/make assumptions about their behavior based on their background/overlook or not even consider their background in the first place since they’re so focused on the current task. For example, Azul, feeling insulted that Riddle is underestimating him, could make a snide remark that just because his mother was a control freak doesn’t mean Riddle also has to be. Jamil could still see Leona as a spoiled prince because, despite being treated like an outcast, he still grew up in immense privilege as royalty. They can so easily fixate on their own interpretations of events that it colors how they perceive others, rather than how they can relate to others no matter how similar or dissimilar their experiences were.

In other ways, I think the OB boys sharing their backstories with one another stifles potentially meaningful development. Character growth in TWST isn’t a sprint, it’s a marathon, and we’re here for the long haul. What does depositing all the backstories in their laps achieve for the OB boys? It artificially puts them in a situation to “better know” their peers rather than let it happen organically or allowing them to grow closer through their own efforts. Let’s look at the Deuce-Epel beach scene from book 5. Do you think it would have been as impactful of a scene if Epel explained his life in the countryside and how he got his traditional views on gender norms to Deuce? Personally, I don’t think so. The scene we currently have has them bonding and connecting through a shared activity (shouting at the sea), then having a heart-to-heart without a heavy backstory exposition. It’s through that, not explicit backstory sharing, that the two form an attachment and become genuine friends.

Those are all my thoughts!! ^^

[joesheistyy]

Gorgeous

Based on the Taylor Swift song Gorgeous <33

-----

Your friendship with Joe had stood the test of time. However, after 8 years of friendship, your feelings flourished into more than just friends.

Every week, Joe comes over to your apartment for dinner. With being best friends for years, he had a key to your place and would just let himself in.

You were making spaghetti for dinner, something simple but delicious. As you cooked, you played Taylor's Reputation album over your speaker.

As the song Gorgeous came on, you heard Joe letting himself in. You were dancing and singing with your slotted spoon, entertaining yourself as you waited for the noodles to be done.

You decided to stay in your own little world, expecting Joe had a bag he could set down while you continued in the kitchen. As he walked over to give you a side hug, you were still singing.

You're so cool, it makes me hate you so much (I hate you so much) Whisky on ice, Sunset and Vine You've ruined my life by not bein' mine.

You sang to him, aiming your spoon toward his face. He just smiled, feeling slightly awkward in this situation.

You're so gorgeous I can't say anything to your face 'Cause look at your face (Gorgeous) And I'm so furious At you for makin' me feel this way But what can I say? You're gorgeous

You continued to sing, getting closer to him and trying to test the boundaries.

You should take it as a compliment That I'm talkin' to everyone here but you (But you, but you) And you should think about the consequence Of you touchin' my hand in a darkened room (Dark room, dark room)

You reached for his hand and grabbed it, bringing it closer to you.

If you've got a girlfriend, I'm jealous of her

You pointed to him with your other hand, slowly backing away from him, but not far enough that you dropped his hand. Almost like you were pulling him to dance.

But if you're single, that's honestly worse 'Cause you're so gorgeous it actually hurts (Honey, it hurts)

You jabbed him in the chest with your finger, feeling his strong chest.

Ocean blue eyes lookin' in mine I feel like I might sink and drown and die

As you set your slotted spoon down, you pointed to his eyes aggressively, then to your eyes. Then, you leaned backwards and pretended to sink and drown and die.

You're so gorgeous I can't say anything to your face (To your face) 'Cause look at your face (Look at your face; Gorgeous)

You pointed back to his face, reaching up to grab his cheeks.

And I'm so furious At you for makin' me feel this way (Feel this way) But what can I say? You're gorgeous

With your hands on his face, Joe took this opportunity to wrap his arms around your waist, testing the waters with you.

You make me so happy it turns back to sad (Yeah)

You made faces at Joe as he continued to hold you around your waist. He smiled down at you, slightly laughing at you.

There's nothin' I hate more than what I can't have (And)

You pressed your hands to his chest, and pretended to be in pain.

You are so gorgeous, it makes me so mad (Mm) You're gorgeous

As the song wrapped up, you booped Joe's nose. But even when the song was done, Joe kept his arms around your waist, smiling down at you. This kind of interaction between the two of you wasn't uncommon, but this one felt different.

The song Getaway Car played next, but you and Joe were still in your own little world. He began to lean in, and you followed.

You felt his breath fan across your face, and the butterflies began in your stomach. As he finally closed the gap, your night felt complete. Who knew that singing and dancing in the kitchen is what would finally get Joe to kiss you.

The kiss was delicate and slow, but did not last very long. If you could kiss Joe for eternity, you would.

His arms remained around your waist as he pulled away, looking into your eyes for approval. He looked nervous, but you could not be happier. You wanted more. So, you went back for more.

Joe leaned into the kiss, deepening it. As you pulled away the second time, Joe seemed more content.

"You're gorgeous. I hope it was okay that I did that," He said sheepishly.

"It's about damn time," you smirked.

Spaghetti be damned.

-----

I've had this idea for months so I hope y'all enjoyed it!!

[enidette]

HEAVEN BESIDE YOU

warnings :: both are 18+, no real d/s dynamics, kinda fluffy first time smut stuff, riding, unprotected sex (ill advised in an apocalypse but yolo)

carl grimes x fem!reader

carl remembers the first time he spoke to you. you lived in alexandria before he did, but had a similar backstory. you lived out there with walkers for years before you were welcomed into these walls. you caught his interest immediately, but the fact you stuck to yourself so much made it difficult for him to even learn your name.

that only piqued his interest more.

he would look for you, especially on watch shifts. he’d follow even, never getting caught. or so he’d thought. until one day he followed you out to the woods, hiding behind trees as you walked. you took a different path this time, leading him to a clearing. a large piece of land with an old, broke down car in the middle.

he watches you go further and further from his hiding spot, eventually deciding to go home when you turn around with a confused expression. your gaze finds his and he stands up straight, looking at you like a deer caught in headlights

“you’re not coming?” your voice had genuine curiosity, making him quirk a brow at you. he emerges from the trees but doesn’t try getting closer.

“what?”

you let out a short laugh, digging in your bag before tossing him a comic you’d find on one of your runs. he watches you turn back around and head towards the car, following you quickly this time.

“you think i haven’t noticed you, cowboy?” he grimaces at the nickname, looking at the comic in his hands instead of you. “i’ve noticed you like reading those.” you grab the car door that’s merely leaning on the car, moving it enough for the both of you to get in.

carl huffs, sliding into the backseat with you and moving the door back in place. “i’m surprised you noticed anything about me. you keep to yourself so much.” you nod at him, head turned facing the dusty windshield.

“i know a bit about everyone,” you turn to him a nudge him with your shoulder. “i could learn more about you if you’d let me.”

ever since, that car had become you and carl’s “spot”. somewhere you both would meet up to just be teenagers again, not ones stuck in the apocalypse. you had both grown so close so quickly, it was hard for carl to not see you in a different light.

it didn’t help that you seemed to treat him differently than everyone else. that you always wanted to know more about him. you remembered the things he liked and he’s not blind either, you’re very attractive.

he found himself testing the waters more and more. doing his best to use the little flirting he’s picked up over the years on you. it usually backfires, until one day the two of you are in the backseat of your abandoned car. you’re on one side and he’s on the other.

his comic is in front of his face but his eyes are peaking over it at you. you look focused as you read, popping candies you had both found in your mouth every once and a while. he sees how your skin is slightly glistening with sweat from the virginian summer heat.

he swallows thickly, trying to turn his focus back to his comic when he hears your laughter.

“you’re not exactly smooth, grimes,” you look up at him through your lashes with a small teasing smile. his mouth falls open a bit before turning into a flustered grin. he shakes his head and throws his comic down.

his breathing picks up a bit as he thinks about what to say next. “seemed i was every other time.” you quirk a brow at him, laying your comic down and sitting properly in front of him.

“oh no, grimes. i’ve caught you checking me out,” his face goes hot at your bold statement, embarrassed at how obvious he had been. not like he had much experience in these situations to go off of.

he doesn’t say anything, just adjusts himself in the seat so he’s shoulder to shoulder with you. his eyes avoiding yours that began shamelessly raking up and down his body. your hand goes to his thigh and he tenses up at the sudden contact, unaware of what to do next.

you pause at his reaction, “do you wanna just.. pretend this didn’t happen?” your hand starts to retract when he grabs it, just holding it in his. he looks down at your interlocked hands and just shakes his head. his eye flickers up to yours before going to your lips. he instinctively leans in a bit but stops halfway. the only sound in your ears were the nervous breaths the both of you let out.

you lean your head towards him, the tips of your noses touching. carl tenses at the unfamiliar contact, but doesn’t pull away. “do you wanna kiss me?” your question has him nodding, he didn’t even trust his voice in a situation like this.

you tilt your head up a little, leaning in all the way. your eyes flutter shut when your lips meet and it’s obvious you’re both inexperienced. you awkwardly bring a hand to the back of his head, playing with his hair as you attempt to deepen the kiss.

his hands find your waist, but the odd position has you hesitantly straddling his lap. “is this alright?” you mutter under your breath. the sudden closeness due to how pressed against him you were because of the small carapace hit him like a truck.

his eye raked over your body, mouth a little agape as he nods. you lean back in and the kiss is a little needier, messier. teeth clashing and heavy breaths mixing. an involuntary whimper slips out of his mouth when you grind against him, causing you to pull away and lean towards his ear.

“you make pretty noises, pretty boy.” he shuts his eye at the name, sucking in breaths harsher and harsher the more friction you provided. he had imagined this more times than he’d like to admit.

but it didn’t compare to how soft your lips felt against his, how perfect your skin felt on his fingertips. you’re breathing heavy, your chest rising and falling quickly. he sees how plump your lips are from your kiss, how pretty your skin looks in the rusted-window sunlight.

he pushes himself against you, chest to chest and reattaches your lips. the rocking of your hips becomes quicker and needier and his hands are digging into your hips. you pull away again, placing your hands on his chest before letting them wander. they trace down his abdomen before landing at the waistband of his jeans.

you look up at him quizzically, the two of you too embarrassed to speak. he nods and you unzip his jeans, tugging them down his legs. your impatience gets the best of you leaving you to abandon them at his mid-thighs. he huffs a laugh at your desperation, helping you pull your panties to the side and guide yourself onto his cock.

you whimper at the intrusion, going down slowly. he sucks in a breath through his teeth, throwing his head back. you can’t help but stare at him, his hair framing the art that is his face, his complex scar he’s so ashamed of hidden from your view.

all the whole carl is looking at you like a goddess, half lidded eye raking along your body. your hands are unsteady on his chest, trying your best to steady yourself and bounce on him properly.

your arms wrap around his neck and you lean down to kiss him. it’s a tad softer this time, carl wants to savor this as long as he can. his arms go around your waist, leaving you to grind on him instead. the kiss is messy, mostly heavily breathing into each others mouths trying to stay as close as possible.

carl leans back, opening his mouth to speak but all that comes out is a strangled moan. you can tell he’s close by how his hips messily snap up into yours. you stop your movements, causing carl to whine at the loss of pleasure. you lock your lips with his and bring your hand up to wrap around his cock.

you lead his hand down and his thumb finds your clit, rubbing fast causing whimpers to fall from your lips. his brows furrow and his mouth falls agape while he watches your pretty hand finish him off.

your heavy breaths are the only sound that fill the car until your giggles erupt. “we should head back to alexandria and shower?” carl sighs and shakes his head, tugging your body back down into his,

“later, stay with me.”

taglist :: @carlslvr @herrera2k @hiro--aoki @carlsangel @mozzeralla-stix

[iloveyanderes]

EVEN MORE YANDERE/SAGAU IDEAS!!!!!!!!!!! WITH A LITTLE LESS YANDERE ON THE SIDE😉 BECAUSE I FORGOT TO INCORPORATE IT BETTER

1.A girl gets isekai’d after a boy she’d bullied had enough and killed her. She woke up in the body of a really kind girl in genshin that everyone is obsessed with, she decided to pretend to be this girl as a means of survival, as these people would most likely kill her if they found out she wasn’t that kind little girl. Along the way She met a boy who ended up being her first true friend, making her realize what she has done and wrong giving her the courage to want to change. Just when she got better leading to the path of redemption the boy was found dead completely crushing any type of kindness in her heart, she realized all the genshin characters had killed him so she vowed to kill them all but not before ruining all of there lives first(I actually attempted to write this a long time ago on wattpad but it never went into fruition, so this might seem familiar)

2.Small sagau idea but it goes like this: girl has golden blood for a completely different reason then the sagau idea, ends up in genshin and everyone mistakes her for the creator and she's freaking out trying to convince everyone she's not the creator

3.Genshin impact x Ichigo from tokyo mew mew reader. With your transformation, cat ears and tail, and the actual ability to turn into a cat everyone is trying to get a reaction out of you(look online and you’ll understand why) I'd imagine yae would take advantage of it with the whole gorou situation as proof. Also there is no way inazuma doesn’t have a bunch of light novels or manga on magical girls

4.Dragon reader vs bird reader. You’ll get no further explanation

5.Sagau idea where instead of the reader being the creator they are a holy saint/saintness who's supposed to represent the creator as their prophet who will feel nothing but utter devotion when they see the creator. However on the day that you prophesied the creator would descend something goes wrong, when you lay your eyes on them the only thing you feel is fear and disgust. It’s immediately prevalent that This is not the creator but a demon, everyone else believes this to be the creator however so you can’t really do anything without the fear of being killed or worse, so you resolve to find the true creator while pretending to still love this demon. Meanwhile the demon is someone who always believed themselves to be better then the creator, they’re jealousy blinded them until it turned into envy where they wanted to be the creator. Quite literally trapping them down in hell when they were supposed to descend and taking their place. Since they want to be the creator that meant they had to be loved by everyone including you-especially you. The saintness meant to serve the creator and adore they’re every movement, so they casted a charm spell that seemed to work on everyone-except for you. It doesn’t matter they’ll do anything to get your love- because it belongs to them not that creator-they deserve that destiny

6. Not a genshin nor sagau thingy but what if a genshin archon reader accidentally falls asleep(can be any element you want but I chosen dendro for this) and wakes up thousands of years later where teyvat has become nothing but an empty shell, eventually you get picked up by the astral express after wandering the empty planet. you adventure all the new worlds, help the trailblazer while ignoring their weirdness, and find a way to mourn all your lost comrades. It’s discovered that elemental energy had mixed and muddled with each other eventually forming into something more murky and hallow which made the Aeons, you discover this when they start to hunt you down as there obsessed with you and the idea that your the last ‘pure’ being in the universe, something they want to obtain.

[ghouldtime]

*slides into the DMS*

S O. What does social anxiety for König look like through your fantastic characterization then? 👀

(Love your Alone operator series btw. Got me on the edge of my seat with each chapter!!)

(Thank you!! 💚💚💚 I'm so glad you're enjoying :D you all have been so so sweet with it and Im over the MOON so many people have liked it)

To answer this question I'm going to have to be a biiig yapper and explain why I think of him the way I do

Going to say this to start, but I'm going with the true fact that König is indeed diagnosed with social anxiety - anything else I'm saying is based off of my personal interpretation of how he acts in game as a disclaimer

I'm also going to state that personally, the König I write is in his lower to mid 40's. Sorry not sorry, I don't see him as a young dude. Especially not when it's pretty much agreed upon that he's a colonel. So he's had a SIGNIFICANT amount of life experience, and a significant amount of time to work on himself and have introspection.

To me, it makes the most sense that he was diagnosed with social anxiety earlier on in his childhood since it was significantly more obvious when he was younger. Something that severe wasn't unnoticed by those around him because some of them did care about him. It's also stated he's suffered from severe social anxiety throughout his life so that's how I took it.

I personally go with he grew up in a more rural town in his homeland of Austria, which meant there weren't exactly others around during the first few years. "Go play with the neighbors kids" didn't really work when there weren't neighbors around. It was mainly him and his parents and an occasional relative over.

What could be brushed off as initial shyness clearly couldn't be anymore when he finally was enrolled in school.

Even on the first day when it's "introduce yourself to everyone", he fucked that up so monumentally it'll be engraved forever in his hall of shameful memories that he thinks about late at night. School was an utter nightmare, quite frankly, from moment one. The whole situation was too much, too stressful, and too different from the life he had at home. He flat out refused to get up and present in front of the class and wouldn't talk in group projects just for the fear of embarrassing himself. At that time, he was hitting all the indicators for social anxiety like they're the targets he shoots at today.

He missed out on a lot of interaction with other kids initially because of how awkward he was - and having any form of anxiety never helps in social situations. Talking to others wasn't something that came naturally and his own panic amplified it tenfold. Most times, he'd either pretend he didn't hear them, avoid them, or stray as far to the edge of the group as possible to avoid it. Unfortunately this made him an easy target because kids are RUTHLESS and turned him into even more outcast as well which only worsened it.

School always sucked for him due to that, despite the fact that he was a smart kid. No amount of smarts could save you from social persecution when you had nearly no social skills to boot. [ side note but I'm dying on the hill that he's incredibly intelligent and has a bachelors degree (at the very least)].

His parents kept him in therapy to help him manage because without it, he'd be back at square one refusing to go to school and faking a cold just to get out of it. And of course, therapy is a very important tool when it comes to healing, coping, and managing severe mental disorders. The whole reason why he doesn't show such bad anxiety anymore is because he kept the skills he learned and applies them so much that it becomes his second nature.

He's had at least 35 years of this, he's good enough to mask and to keep up his facade.

Another part of why he doesn't show it nearly as much is because he joined the military and was thrown through the wringer with it. Being bullied for so long was a major motivator for joining in the first place, as he needed something to get away from the peers who tormented him so and he needed a new life where he wasn't known as target #1. But he ALSO wanted to gain actual confidence and more certainty in himself.

Joining the military really means you're not left with such things as many choices when it comes to anxiety in social situations. You're forced into quarters with others, have to work side-by-side, do nearly everything together, so on and so forth. He knew that going in but at that point for him it was like extreme exposure therapy, the last step he needed to really put everything he learned in therapy to work.

That doesn't mean he didn't suffer or loved it. No, it was terrible, intense, and nerve-wracking. But he wouldn't have done it otherwise if he didn't want that. Being in the military didn't give him the leeway to avoid what made him anxious, it taught him to face it head on and fight.

Now that he's up there in age and has considerable more experience (and leeway with having a higher rank), the ways he expresses it [look at me finally answering the question] are more subtle.

On the field, you're likely not going to notice it. Because that's him turning the little auto pilot switch in his mind to on when he has a job. The job is his focus and everything has been so engrained in his mind that it's muscle memory. He's, quite frankly, focused on not dying and getting any job done over himself. The joking you often hear him do and taunting alike is part of how he's expressing the confidence he feels when he's in his element, when he KNOWS what he is doing.

If you look closely or approach him off the field, however, it's another story. He usually tenses or straightens himself out when people approach and will hold that until they leave (unless they're someone who he truly knows). Many assume that's a taught habit of the military, but that's only half-true. He did that before then.

Unlike when he's working, he doesn't have a guide or things he knows he has to do in a specific order to best ensure survival - no matter how much talking to other people feels like the heat of the battle, you can't (legally) solve it with a gun or throw a frag and book it out of there. There's no true guide to social interactions and that stresses him out. There's no manual, no field guide, no ten step card on how to successfully navigate them.

He knows things that are normal to say, he knows sometimes what he should say - it's just a matter of finding the phrasing and how to say them. Yet it seems like whenever someone doesn't follow his pre-programmed line of thought when it comes to their talking, his mind can shut down and go blank as he stares, trying to figure out where to go or what to say (spoiler: it usually doesn't end well).

He's usually awkward to talk to because he's running over everything in his head as he tries to think of what best to say to avoid further interactions or ones that could be more targeting to him. And, as mentioned, he lacks the average set of social skills that plenty learn in childhood because he didn't have that proper socialization. He's also still not the best at talking itself and can be blunt and to-the-point, which also doesn't usually go down well.

Not to mention, he's bad at small talk and has a terrible, sarcastic sense of humor that many can't read and it quickly turns things uncomfortable very fast because everyone takes him seriously. It never helps he usually doesn't explain himself all too well, usually leaving it as is as he secretly wishes he didn't talk at all when mortification sets in. Hurrying away with an excuse of some paperwork or something else to busy himself is his go-to after those.

When possible, he'll avoid small-talk and greatly prefers gestures instead. Someone who can appreciate his greater need for silence and a lack of talking is someone who he will greatly appreciate in turn. He's a firm believer that not all silences are uncomfortable and sometimes, it IS best not to say anything at all.

Due to his childhood too, he's not really fond of being around many people and will do his best to avoid it. Unless he has to grin and bare it, he won't. He finds his mind calmest when he can just be himself without having to worry about saying the right things to appease others or to be friendly. That way he can focus on what he wants, think how he wants, and feels how he wants without second guessing himself or having to worry about existing.

He's going to avoid most public settings when possible. Though he can now suitably manage his anxiety, they're something he passes up on. Grocery store trips are something he does maybe once a week or two, if that - stock piling so he has to go to the store less is his usual strategy. Anything he can do himself, he WILL do himself, if he doesn't have a trusted person who can do it better or can help.

Notably, he also doesn't have many friends. He's like talking to a brick wall and unless you're considerably persistent and understanding of his need for space, you won't get far. A lot of people don't have the time nor patience for it, but if you do get close to him, he does come out of his shell. He appreciates anyone who cares enough to actually get close to him and get to know him despite how awkward he can be, and will be loyal to the end because of that.

Another side effect is that he doesn't sleep well. Between the massive amounts of trauma from his job and the trauma from his childhood, he doesn't sleep well as is. But the social anxiety aspect comes into play because many nights, his mind is rerunning all the interactions he's had as he chronically overthinks them. He always wonders what he could've done, how he could've improved, and what they're thinking of him (even if they're someone he may never run into again). Its very hard for him to shut his mind off and doing such usually requires him drowning everything else and making himself not think about that, or anything, any more.

[Another side note: He's an avid reader. Reading gives him new things to think about and can help put him to sleep, especially before bed. It's a good way for him to stop thinking about whatever was nagging him and shifts his mind into thinking about other things he enjoys instead)

Basically, IN SHORT this isn't my full in-depth detailed characterization of exactly who I think he is - the reason he's not presenting it as an anxious ball of pure energy who is so uwu shy and soft is because he is incredibly well-managed with his severe social anxiety at his age and that's uh, just not him. Social anxiety doesn't mean he's a blubbering mess or will cry at the slightest inconvenience and reducing him to that or treating anyone with social anxiety like they're a child because of it does not help at alllll.

He's had extensive therapy for this, he's got his methods, he can mask very well. He's a WHOLE GROWN MAN who is responsible for not only his actions but how he manages his emotions and he knows it. But if you know him and know what to look for, you'll be able to pick it up.

(Also the sheer amount of scenarios I've seen where people think he just would... cry if you took his mask off??? Him???? HIM???? König, "I can make you talk, where are they?" the skilled PMC operator? That one? That guy? Yeah no, anyone dumb enough to do that better have signed their will prior or hopefully has an intensive love for scrubbing all the floors with a single old toothbrush. He won't tolerate people harassing or hustling him or pressing on his nerves. Sure, it reminds him of his childhood bullies, but quite frankly that behavior as grown adults trying that is RIDICULOUS, it pisses him off and immediately lowers his opinion on them.)

To whoever made it this far, I hope this made sense, I took melatonin before I got the ask so I'm in another realm right now LMAO. König is one of my favorites and was the first character I realllly really loved and I just hate seeing him done so dirty. Especially as someone with severe social anxiety myself, it irritates me when it's portrayed just so... wrong and quite frankly, in a lazy, offensive manner lacking any nuance especially in relation to the character who has it. Like just making him stutter and cry isn't all social anxiety is and there's SO much depth and things to work with despite the... actual substance as far as his bio goes

[irislunace]

Siciria Analyzes The Most Complex Stick Figures Known To Man (part 2)

Red's new tiktok came out.

We're going with Red next.

Also here's part 1 of SATMCSFTM.

Idk why I abbreviated it.

Or why I linked it.

Welp.

-

Okay, so to start off, most people perceive Red as the youngest of the CG, and the most outgoing. He's the resident animal lover, is sensitive, and in some situations, can be really aggressive and hotheaded.

Like here:

Red went first. He is someone who always throws himself willingly into danger (like Blue in the last part, though Red does it more consistently). With Dark, he went for it not knowing if he could win, but instead to protect his friends. He is the line. He is someone who truly cares for others, and will treat newcomers with the utmost goodness regardless of what he's getting in return. He will go back for them.

This is shown, primarily, in Monster School.

In this scene, he was about to turn back. He was about to go back through the portal. But he saw that his teammates (the ones who bullied and harassed him prior) were in trouble, and still went back for them. We talk about how he went back for them. We talk about it.

But we don't talk about how he must have been feeling, or how much they must have hurt him. And he still helped them despite that. He truly has an extremely strong character, probably the strongest out of everyone, or at least the CG.

AND HE SURVIVED BEING LITERALLY POSSESSED TWICE. TWICE. HOW MUCH MENTAL STRENGTH DOES THIS STICK HAVE.

Okay, now to not state the obvious. this whole "analysis" thing is just me stating the obvious anyway idk why u guys seem to like it

Red is smart.

No, Red is really smart.

And I think we, as a fandom, don't give him credit for it. He's always the one to come up with new ideas, and these ideas seem to work. This is shown, mostly, in the Minecart Race episode.

He was the first one to start paddling with his hands.

And the first one to boat on the ice.

And he had the bright idea to use the snowballs.

Even in the Color Sorting short, he had to know at least some kind of coding or engineering to get all the items to become red items. Come on.

And in his tiktok that just came out today, he does so many different, unique moves. In Green's and even Blue's, it's more repetitive, and shorter (though Blue's dancing skills are unmatched ngl).

An in Monster School, they only passed because of his ideas (WHICH THEY HARDLY GAVE HIM CREDIT FOR). Because it was HIM who understood that the bow needed to be flipped around to shoot properly.

And it was HIM who knew that tickling the Enderman would help.

And it was HIM who got them across the ocean to the mountain using the spider.

He is someone who can recognize the potential in his teammates, and recognize what they can do in a given battle.

AND WHAT DOES HE GET FROM THEM? NOTHING. NOTHING. HE GETS BEAT UP. HE GETS STICKING BEAT UP.😭😭😭

So in summary...

WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT RED MORE.

(I honestly learned more about Red doing this. It's kinda fun ngl).

[reinventinglia]

seeking your higher self in 2024

hello, angels ⭑.ᐟ today we'll be taking the first step to our personal journey to be our higher self and achieve our dream life. an important reminder is that it is never too late to change and to allow yourself to be. if you are reading this and you feel like it is too late or that you're so far behind everyone else, or thinking "can i even do it?", take a deep breath, because you can! if this is your case, i highly recommend watching this incredible bevy smith ted talk, which is a major inspiration for this post.

i talk (or rather write) a lot, just so you know.

it is what you make it

you need to understand your power. life is all about perspective, about what you put into the world and what you'll receive in exchange. as much as i believe the "it is what it is" mindset is important so you can come to terms with your own reality (there's no moving forward if you can't accept where you are), this is just as important. this is my own interpretation of this mindset, but i'd love to hear yours as well!

many things in life are out of control, but some—and a lot of them—you can control. you can choose your own mindset and the energy and intention you're letting out to the world, as well as how you think about yourself and whether or not you believe you're worthy of good things. trust me, you can't move forward and achieve your higher self if you don't believe you're worth it! you need to work on your self-concept in order to be yourself, because otherwise being yourself means being worthless, or whatever it is you repeat to yourself.

you are in control of your life.

i'm not talking about specific situations that unfortunately you can't control, and i'm also not saying you deserve what you're getting, because no! no one deserves bad things happening to them, but unfortunately they do happen regardless of what we think or believe in—even people who you believe have the perfect life have to go through rough times.

still, in the end, you need to take charge. you might not be responsible for what happens to you, but you can control how you react to it. it won't be necessarily easy or comfortable, but it needs to be done. even a small step can make the difference as long as you're moving forward.

one thing you'll need to be working on for the entirety of this journey is your self-concept—there are a lot of things to talk about it, but for now focus on understanding how you view yourself. in order to do so, here are some prompts that can help you with it:

⭑ how do you currently perceive yourself?

⭑ what is one negative self-belied you hold? how can you challenge it?

⭑ when was a time you doubted yourself? why did that happen?

⭑ how is your self-talk and how does it impact you?

⭑ what is a part of yourself you're critical of? why?

⭑ what is a part of yourself you're proud of? why?

find your motivation

i'm currently in my early 20s, which is a strange period in life. of course i've also thought my teenage years were strange, but being in your 20s is different (maybe in ten years i'll say the same thing about being in my 30s). it's not all about comparing dating or being popular or getting the best grades or whatever, now the people i'm surrounded by are having jobs, or being the perfect university student, or living overseas to pursue their professional athlete career, or even doing scientific research with influential people! and they're all my age.

it's very intimidating to realize that age doesn't mean anything and that you can do anything regardless of being younger or older. but it's also reassuring, because it allowed me to understand that we all have our own pace—which means that you're not behind just because you think you are; in the end, your time will come. the time where you'll be satisfied, happy, and thrilled to live your life because it's finally what you wanted! but for that to happen, you have to do the work.

to start seeking your authentic self and live as your higher self, you need to do the work. the first thing is looking inside and realizing your reasons.

of course being authentic itself is a motivation, because who wants to live in the shade of how other people want you to be? putting on a mask everyday is exhausting and you can't live like that.

but this is not easy. it is an uncomfortable, hard, and hurting journey, but it leads you to healing, to real happiness. this is exactly why you need to have your motives, because you need a strong foundation so you won't give up. i say this because i have given up a few times, which is exactly why i might have started this journey at the age of nineteen, but i only properly started it this year, at the age of twenty-one—two years after i convinced myself i'd do it.

here is a journal prompt that might help you get to the source of your motivation:

⭑ what are your core reasons for wanting to change?

list your emotional, personal, or practical reasons for pursuing this journey. anything can be a motive, really. maybe you just don't resonate with your life, or you want to reinvent yourself. whatever it is, as long as it comes from a place of authenticity and truth, it will help you during this journey. embrace whatever it is that's motivating you and allow it to guide you to a life that resonate with your true self! the path may be challenging, but it's always worth it.

after thinking about why you want to change, work on these prompts to understand exactly what you want to change:

⭑ if you could see your life in five years, where do you want to be?

⭑ what do you look forward to most in the future?

⭑ what area of your life do you want to improve the most? list five things you can do in order to achieve that

⭑ make a list of how your life would be if you could be and do anything in the world

being authentic

a great part of becoming your higher self means understand your authentic self. now, what does it truly mean to be authentic? of course we all know the definition: being true to yourself, to your values, and to your beliefs, even when others may disagree. but let's take one step further and ask yourself: what makes you you?

i wouldn't be surprised if many of you came up to me and said that you actually don't know the answer to that question. most of us have become used to suppressing your true selves and the best parts of who we are so we can fit in other people's expectations. but it's not okay to make yourself smaller just so someone else can feel better. if you recognize someone in your life who falls into this category, it's time to walk away! trust me, you'll be better off without that kind of energy surrounding you. instead, focus on people who uplift and inspire you to be authentic.

being yourself is a blessing, and for this i'll be quoting shakespeare: “to thine own self be true”. this means not worrying about pleasing other people and remaining true to who you are—therefore, being authentic, which is the ultimate goal. as bevy smith so beautifully said in her ted talk, “nobody can be you but you, so you might as well show up and show out”. make the most of your individuality and celebrate it!

⭑ is there a difference between how you act in public and how you act when you're alone? if yes, why do you think so and do you believe one act is more authentic than the other?

⭑ if you could be like anyone in the world, who would it be and why?

⭑ if you fully believed you're worthy and enough as you are, how would you be/act?

get to know who you are

knowing yourself is a lifelong journey because we're constantly changing and evolving, and you can't truly be you if you don't know yourself—quite obvious, right? yet, for so many people (and trust me, i've been there before), this isn't easy.

often, it's because they don't actively spend time with themselves, which may sound ridiculous at first, because logically we're always with ourselves, but simply existing isn't enough to know yourself. to truly understand who you really are, you need to engage in self-reflection, which is why i've been leaving journal prompts for each section of this post—that's truly one of the best tools to connect with yourself.

with that being said, you need to take some personal time for and with yourself. some people struggle to even say their favorite movie, or their favorite color, or something as basic as their favorite food or drink. the truth is, if you don't know the basics, knowing your deeper complexities, which is vital to understand who you are, will become challenging. so, take the time to ask yourself some questions! reflect on the things you might easily know about your close friends or family but might not be able to answer if they ask you.

⭑ every day before you sleep, make a list of ten things you like. it can be a movie, a color, a piece of clothing, or products. anything

⭑ if you could describe yourself in three words, what words would you choose?

⭑ describe two significant events in your life you believe have shaped you into who you are today

⭑ what are your beliefs and your personal values? list at least five

putting yourself out there

another important aspect of knowing yourself includes putting yourself out there. as someone who has struggled with social anxiety for a long time—and still does—i can tell you this: letting your fears control you won't do you any good. stepping outside your comfort zone is essential for growth, even if it means taking a small step—after all small steps will still lead you to where you want to be, as long you're moving forward.

make an effort to go out. you'll learn a lot about yourself by visiting a new park or attending an event you've never attended before. if you have the means, consider traveling as well! the key is getting to a fresh environment where you won't have to mold yourself into whatever labels people have put on you. you can also start a new activity, such as taking a poetry class, exploring a new sport, or joining a club. each experience is an opportunity for self-discovery.

even if you struggle with social interactions, which i totally understand, meeting new people is also a very interesting way to learn more about yourself. it means you'll be exposed to different perspectives, which can reveal things you've never realized before.

you might meet someone with views so different from yours that you can't help but wish you never fall into that mindset, but you can also meet someone whose perspective resonates with you, and you'll discover qualities you aspire to embody. each interaction offers you a chance for growth and a deeper self-understanding, which is, again, essential!

this doesn't mean you have to mold yourself to be like that person—by all means, don't! you don't have to be exactly like someone else in order to achieve your dream life. however, you're allowed to be inspired by them. most of our beliefs and values come from experiences we've had with other people—it can be something as simple as believing that family comes first. you can learn a lot about your own values and who you are deep down by interacting with other people.

⭑ what three things you admire in your loved ones?

⭑ how have your friends impact your beliefs?

⭑ what beliefs do you share with your loved ones?

take a note, give a note

as i mentioned earlier, many people who are my age are making extraordinary accomplishments—including friends of mine—and it has brought out a lot of different feelings within me. insecurity was one of them, because i often questioned to myself: if people my age are able to do all of these amazing things, why am i not doing it? what's preventing me from being as accomplished as they are?

the truth is, we don't have to be like everyone else. i've said this before, but it's important to understand that having different trajectories in life is included in not being like everyone else. just because someone your age is achieving a certain goal doesn't mean you should be doing the same thing—maybe that's not even what you want. understand and accept that you have your own path.

for example, i have no interest in being an athlete or to engage in as many academic activities as some of them are. and even if i did want those things, it's important to remember that what's meant for me will come in due time; maybe this just isn't the moment yet. this doesn't mean that i'm behind, it simply means i have my own pace. i'll continue to work towards my goals, because giving up and letting the universe do absolutely everything is not something i believe in, but i don't have to exhaust myself just because i'm not achieving everything i want right now.

now, with all that being said, implement a new ritual in your life. understand that each person has its own journey to fulfill and that everything you want and are meant to have will come in due time doesn't mean that you'll get over it easily. i understand that it can be hard—which is why we seriously need to work on our issues with believing everything has to happen in this exact moment.

the take a note, give a note ritual is supposed to help you with it, and i believe is a simple and effective way to do so.

the premise of it is: when you see someone having what you want, or what you think you want, instead of letting feelings of envy or jealousy take control, take charge of those feelings instead. ask yourself: is this what i really want? do i actually want what to be where that person is? regardless of the answer, as long as you're honest and true to your feelings, tell yourself this: “their wins have nothing to do with my worthiness.”

then, give a note. the note is nothing more than a sincere "congratulations". you can comment on their post, message them, or even call them, just don't let your previous envy and jealousy take control. allow yourself to be genuinely happy for others without having to diminish their achievements. as bevy smith said in her ted talk, “when you remove malice from your heart, not only do you feel better, you look better.”

don't punish yourself if it doesn't come naturally to you. unfortunately, believe it or not, it does happen to some people, especially those who were raised in an environment filled with negativity and competitiveness. instead, adopt new habits in your daily life to get rid of it, such as focusing on the good aspects of your life and what you're grateful for (i highly suggest doing a list of things you're grateful for each day before sleeping), practice mindfulness, and go to therapy or talk to someone about it.

⭑ how do you handle envy/jealousy?

⭑ what are three self-defeating thoughts that show up whenever you feel envy/jealousy?

⭑ how can you overcome negative thoughts when you feel envy/jealousy?

⭑ remember a recent time when you felt envy/jealous of someone and why. how did you handle it? what did you do to overcome that feeling?

thank you so much for reading, and i wish you good luck and a great life! i talk a lot, but i find each of these topics very important. if you want to talk, send me an ask or message me if you can.

xoxo, lia ✮

[xetlynn]

Twilight Imagines- Benjamin

First Sight

[Masterlist]

Requested by: @twilightlover2007

Summary: in where the Cullens are getting multiple covens together to help them convince the Volturi that Renesmee is not a danger Benjamin spots [Name] and is immediately enamored by her. Even with her two year old daughter. Also finding out they have similar abilities.

I sit in the living room with Bella and Edward as we watch Renesmee play with Athaliah. I cross my arms, holding myself. "How do you feel?" Edward asks me suddenly and I turn to him. "Read my mind." I roll my eyes, he scoffs out a laugh. "I'm asking so you can let it out."

He responds, I look back to the girls. "Yeah, we haven't talked much since you found out about her." Bella chimes into the conversation. I frown for a second.

"It's a weird situation, I don't really know how I feel." I tell them in all honesty. One second Renesmee was a newborn and seconds later she was months old and now she's physically 4 years old.

"I just wish we didn't have to deal with the Volturi. Once again." I hold my head in my hands. Last time we dealt with them was when I turned into a vampire, Athatliah was only 16 months old. They were worried that I would turn Athaliah.

We had to convince them I wouldn't go near her until I had control over my thirst and she wouldn't know anything about us until she was the age of turning or if anything I would fake my death and she'd never see us again. It's something I don't even want to consider. It's something I have 16 years until I have to truly think about. The Volturi believed us when Aro looked into Edward's mind along with mine. Also with the fact that my ability was strong, I would put up a fight. They didn't need any of their men dead.

"I wish that woman just talked to us before running straight to the Volturi. She's also going to get killed." I lift my head back up. Renesmee takes Athaliah over to us and they both smile. I pick up my daughter, placing her on my lap. Edward doing the same with his daughter.

"All right, lovely, it's time for a nap." I stand up. "I'll meet you guys outside." I tell my two best friends before walking upstairs. They have a crib that was originally for Renesmee in Edward's old room. I place Athaliah down. I could tell she was tired so when she started crying I knew it was only for a few minutes.

The first year of her life I cried almost every time she cried. I couldn't handle it. My mom was a huge help since Athaliah's dad left in the beginning of my pregnancy. His parents moved to a whole different state so he didn't have to be a father to our baby. I grieved the relationship in the beginning. I don't really care anymore.

Bella was the only friend I've had ever since giving birth. Other people judged right away. Not Bella. She sometimes would babysit for me if I had to work and no daycare. My mom would pay her as well. Edward then started to help with her. Then he bonded with Athaliah as well. They both became an aunt and uncle to my daughter. I am forever grateful for them.

When her cries stop I snap out of my thoughts. Quietly slipping out of the room. I go downstairs and join everyone outside. Bella and Edward showing the new vampires renesmee's gift. I look off into the distance to see Carlisle and Esme coming our way with three new people. They're from the Egyptian Coven, they drink human blood. I lock eyes with the younger looking man. His eyes were a dark red. They felt entrancing. I couldn't look away. That was until Rosalie comes up to me.

"Could you help me with something?" She asks in a quiet tone, I furrow my eyebrows but nod my head. Following after her. Feeling eyes watch me the entire time. The blonde leads me back into the house where Zafrina, Kachiri, and Senna were standing in our way. "These ladies are from the Amazon coven. They wanted to meet you." Rosalie speaks softly, I place a hand on my chest, confused on why they would want to speak to me. "They've heard of your ability." Emmett tells me, I let out a little 'oh' standing straighter.

"Zafrina likes meeting people similar to her. Having incredible gifts." Kachiri informs me. "What's your gift?" I tilt my head, intrigued. The quiet woman smiles slightly, staring at me. Focusing on something and then suddenly I'm not in the house anymore. I'm back outside. But not our outside. A different place. A place I've never seen before. It was gorgeous.

Then I'm back in the house and I stare at her with wide eyes. "That... was amazing." I tell her, utterly in shock. She grins back to me. "We'd like to see your ability." Kachiri says, I make a face, turning to Rosalie and Emmett who nod their heads for me to do it. "We'd uh, we would have to go outside." I lead the way outside, in front of the porch. The three from the Amazon Coven stand on the porch with Rosalie, Emmett was standing in the door frame.

I smile to them as the cloud above us gets darker than earlier. Their expressions are confused until I bring my arms in the air and it starts raining. It was sprinkling at first then thunder struck. I felt the others crowd around me. I then make it storm. Everyone getting soaked. And then suddenly it stops as I stop focusing on the sky. I take a deep breath. The others begin to clap.

"That's just a tiny bit of what she can do." Emmett roars out, I nod my head sheepishly. "How did you find that out?" One of the Denali sisters ask me. "When I turned, the pain caused a storm. The wind was strong. The weather was insane that night. Later on when I wasn't paying attention and every time I had a huge emotion, a storm began every time. It's a lot easier to control now." I smile as I then make it begin to snow. Renesmee runs up to me with a huge smile. I pick her up so she can play with the snowflakes.

"This is a powerful ability... The Volturi would have no chance against us." Garrett laughs beside Kate who has a tiny smirk on her face. "You could deflect my electricity and make it more powerful." She tells me, lifting one of her hands to show me the electricity coming out of it.

Then everyone begins to talk to one another about it. I place Renesmee down, she holds my hand though instead of running off. I listen outside of the others to see if Athaliah has woken up but her breathing is still slowed. I can tell she's about to wake up. Her naps aren't very long lately.

A person walks up to me, startling me. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you." It was the younger looking man from the Egyptian Coven. I wave a hand. "It's alright, I was trying to make sure my daughter was still sleeping." I sigh out, looking down to my niece who was staring up at the man.

"Your daughter?" He asks, looking around. "Her name's Athaliah." I tell him, we begin to walk inside the house, Renesmee sticking by my side because I think she knows we're going to see my girl. "Beautiful name." He compliments, I quietly thank him. His looks are entrancing I can barely focus on what is being said.

It goes silent between us until Renesmee speaks up in a small sweet tone. "He can make tornados, smaller than yours though." I smile down at her. "Really?"

I've only created a tornado once and right as it formed we made it disappear. That was before Renesmee was born though. Of course Emmett told her about it though. "Our gifts are incredibly similar." He tells me. Before he can say anything else though I hear my daughter begin to stir. Her tiny whines sounding out to down here. "Oh, I have to go, I'll be back." I step up the first couple of steps. He stands there, I can tell her wishes to say something though.

Renesmee was already running to the bedroom though. "What's your name?" I ask him.

"Benjamin." He says. I smile. "Beautiful name." I then head up the stairs.

Renesmee is playing with Athaliah through the bars of the crib. I smile, heading over to them and picking up my daughter. "Let's go play downstairs." Renesmee says, taking my hand once again and dragging me back down. Benjamin was still standing there just as he was before I left.

I was glad to be honest. I was hoping he waited for me. "This is Athaliah, Athaliah, meet Benjamin." I bounce her on my hip, pointing to the beautiful man. She tiredly looks to him.

Then suddenly doing grabby hands at him for him to take her. I furrow my eyebrows. It usually takes her a minute to get used to new people. He sticks his hand out, letting her grab onto it. It wasn't enough though she lunges her body forward so he could take her out of my arms. I laugh. "Sorry, you don't have to-"

"I don't mind as long as you don't." He puts his hands out and I shrug my shoulders, handing her over to him. Renesmee watches, a little bit annoyed until Edward comes in and tells her to go with him somewhere. I watch as my daughter puts his face into her hands. I then wondered if that was a good idea looking at his eyes which were red. Meaning he eats humans.

I bit my lip. He looks over to me and I think he can sense my worry. He gives me a short smile and places Athaliah down. She walks back to me, hugging my legs. She's still waking up.

Later in the night Bella and I were getting the girls to sleep. Athaliah sprawled out, her arm going over Renesmee's torso. She's holding onto her hand. I look up to see Bella looking at someone. I trace where. It was Benjamin who was sitting beside Jacob. He was staring at me though. "He seems enamored by you." She whispers, careful not to wake the kids. I snort out a laugh. "Yeah, okay. He wants a single mom." I joke, rolling my eyes.

"I mean the whole time he's been here he's been staring at you. He keeps trying to talk with you and he's brought you up to us every chance he gets. Asking about your ability." She informs me and I give her a look. "Yeah, he's interested in my ability. Not me." I sit up straight, crossing my legs.

"You're so oblivious, [Name]." She comments, sitting up as well. We eventually get up listening to Vladimir and Stefan talk about how they despise the Volturi and why. They were characters, that was for sure.

I sit down by the fire, a log was already there but no one else was there. They all went to different areas of the woods. I stared at the flames wondering how tomorrow was going to go. Someone sat beside me but neither of us spoke. I didn't even move my head to see.

"[Name]." The person speaks up after moments of silence. I hum out in response. "I uh I've never been left this speechless before. I don't know what to say around you." It was Benjamin, I smile to myself before turning to face him. "I'm boring, I apologize." I say, now just observing his features and I wonder what he was like as a human. If he was always this perfect.

"No, you're not at all. You make me nervous. It's a feeling I don't think I've ever experienced." His eyes lock with mine and I badly want to look away. But I can't. I'm stuck in place. "When did you turn?" I slightly change the subject. "1815." My eyes widen to his answer. He begins to laugh at my reaction. "Sorry, that was rude." I rub my hands together, finally looking away due to embarrassment.

"I expected it, when did you turn?"

"Last year."

"A newborn practically and you're that in control of your ability?" He seemed to be surprised.

"I couldn't control my ability completely until maybe six years after turning." He then ignites fire from his pointer finger. "You control the elements?" I ask in amazement. "And you control the weather." He states.

"Our abilities are incredibly similar." I laugh, excited. Watching the flames on his finger tip before he closes his fist and it goes away.

For hours we talk about our abilities, about his life before turning. I do the same. Telling him a bit about Athaliah. It never felt like a bad subject bringing her up like it usually does with men.

He actually asks about her and that's where I feel he doesn't want to be with me but to be friends.

"Your daughter truly has your looks." We both look to my sleeping daughter who is still sprawled out. I smile. "Thank you. She's my everything." I tell him.

"I can tell."

"I'm interested in getting to know you more." Benjamin says, this time he cautiously takes my hand into his. Making sure I was okay with it before gripping a little tighter. "What do you want to know?" I nervously ask.

"No, I mean courting you. You being mine, me being yours." He explains, I scrunch my nose before saying. "it might be forward, I know this. But you, seeing you, talking to you today. It only makes me want to be yours more."

"What about Athaliah, she comes with, we're a package deal. I'm a single mother. She's human, you eat off... humans." I take my hand back, now giving him a serious expression. It feels crazy but I feel the same way. I feel so strongly for him and I can't lose it but I also have to put my child first.

"I'll love her as my own. I'll eat animals for you both. I'll learn." He assures me, I pause for a moment.

"This feels crazy." I laugh out. "But I'll give it a try. I'm interested in getting to know you more." Even though we don't know what's going to happen tomorrow I don't care. I deserve to be happy even for a little bit.

——————

I almost deleted this whole thing after finishing it.

Heart was racing. Almost cried.

If you want to request anything lmk!

[gdn019283]

I must admit, one year in the BBC Merlin fandom, read an unimaginable amount of fanfictions, from the most known one to the least known one, all with different ratings, canon and modern, yet, I still haven’t read, not one single fanfiction, where the author really can catch and actually portrays Arthur’s reaction to magic and to Merlin having magic like it happened in the tv show.

Like, that’s what I was missing and I realised just now. I dislike canon fics with magic, because no one can make Arthur in character and portray him like in the show and write how genuinely Arthur would react to Merlin’s magic. Either they go all over and paint Arthur as this absurd king that tortures his friend of ten years to get information from him or something or they write Arthur like a) he always knew or b) now he knows but it’s not a bother.

I want the middle ground and I want it portrayed well, like in the show. I want more of scared Arthur, but confused Arthur. I want him in the same situation he was as he was dying but actually showing me what he wanted to do if he lived. I want Arthur come back fics with him going insane because he can’t understand if he can trust Merlin or not (yes. To me it’s realistic, because everyone has their own theory as to what Arthur knows or not, but it’s Merlin who waited centuries, not Arthur. For him, it all happened yesterday).

Give me that, please.

Also, I dislike when people say “it’s unrealistic for Arthur not to know” that’s the way the character has been written😭that’s what makes Arthur Arthur, the fact that is an intelligent idiot, but that he is scared of feelings and of going through with them and has this bunch of things and responsibilities in his hands and has no idea what the fuck he’s supposed to do with them, same with magic.

That’s what ‘in character’ means.

[talonabraxas]

Vaikuntha Talon Abraxas

Features of Vaikuntha Planets

The spiritual planets of Vaikuntha, the paraṁ dhāma, the supreme abode, are the eternal home to all the spirit souls. The material planets are not Vaikuntha; they are just kuṇṭha and anyone living in these planets is always full of anxiety. The major difference between the spiritual and material planets is that in the Vaikuntha planets, there is no such thing as anxiety. The Supreme Lord manifests in His various personal expansions such as Rama, Narasimha, Varaha, etc. on each of the Vaikuntha planets as the predominating Deity.

Features of Vaikuntha planets

There are many features of the eternal planets of Vaikuntha like:

The forests of Vaikuntha have wish-fulfilling trees, and in all seasons they are filled with flowers and fruits.

In the Vaikuntha planets, the inhabitants fly in their aeroplanes made of lapis lazuli, emerald, and gold.

The birds of Vaikuntha stop their own singing simply to hear the glories of the Lord.

But this kind of features are common, let’s discuss the features that set Vaikuntha apart from all the material and spiritual planets.

Vaikuntha planets have no anxiety

The living entities in the Vaikuntha planets live with no anxiety. Vaikuntha itself means- ‘without any anxiety.’ In the material planets, everyone is in full of anxiety, He may be human or an ant, small, very insignificant. He may be a very rich man or a very poor man. The anxiety is there. Why? Sadā samudvigna-dhiyām asad-grahāt: [Srimad-Bhagavatam 7.5.5] “Because they have accepted this material body.”

No Māyā in Vaikuntha

In the spiritual planets of Vaikuntha, there is no influence of māyā or the departments of existence. Within the body, there are five different departments of existence, known as anna-maya (consciousness of food), prāṇa-maya (the consciousness of being alive), mano-maya (consciousness of one’s existence), vijnāna-maya (consciousness of mental platform) and, ānanda-maya (blissful life of knowledge and eternity).

As said in the Vedānta-sūtra, ānanda-mayo ’bhyāsāt, as long as the living entities are situated in the lower four stages of life— anna-maya, prāṇa-maya, mano-maya and vijnāna-maya—they are considered to be in the material condition of life, but as soon as one reaches the stage of ānanda-maya, he is a liberated soul.

No birth-death cycle in Vaikuntha

No birth-death cycle means, no to the cycle of misery. In the Supreme abode, there is no birth, death, old age, and disease, thus the souls are free. In the material world, everyone is trying not to die, not to become old, not to get diseases. This is natural because, by nature, we are not subjected to these things, thus our endeavour, our activity, is struggling, to become death-less, birth-less and disease-less. The Supreme Lord is sac-cid-ānanda-vigraha, eternal, blissful, knowledgeable, similarly, we, being part and parcel of the Lord are also of the same quality and we are suffering because we have accepted our association with this material world.

Vaikuntha, the abode of eternal bliss

In Vaikuntha, everyone is full of transcendental bliss. Ānandamayo ‘bhyāsāt (Vedānta-sūtra 1.1.12). By nature, they are ānandamaya, always jolly. Also, in this material world, when we become free from the material concept of life, and when one is aware of the fact that “I am not this material body; I am the spirit soul,” he becomes jolly because he acquires the spiritual quality.

No desires, no lamentations in Vaikuntha

Brahma-bhūtaḥ prasannātmā, na śocati na kāṅkṣati: [Bhagavad-gita 18.54] “There is no desire, and there is no lamentation.” In the material world, one who is not God-conscious is always hankering, and if he loses something, he’s lamenting. But in the Vaikuntha, when you are under the surrendered state of the Lord, the hankering and lamentation end, because, where there is God, there is no question of lamentations.

Where is Vaikuntha?

Vaikuntha planets are situated far away from the material world, beyond the boundaries of universes. However, Vaikuntha planets are not just that geographical location. When one is absorbed in the thoughts, feelings and activities related to the Supreme Lord and His service, one is no longer in this material world even though he may physically appear to be in the material world. In his consciousness, he is already in Vaikuntha. Thus ultimately, there is no such thing as the material world, but when one forgets the service of the Lord and engages himself in the service of his senses, he is said to be living in the material world

[ripdragonbeans]

Do You Believe In Fate? // Pt. 1 // Aegon II x Reader

Artwork: @emilykaldwen // Beta: @exitpursuedbyavulcan

Summary: Falling in love with Aegon wasn’t easy. You would think the years gone by would make it less difficult but it turned out that was not the way fate worked. Fate brought you together but would it keep you apart as well?

Warnings: eventual smut, bodily harm, gore, hurt/comfort

A/N: I tried posting it all at once but Tumblr said it was too long so I guess I'm breaking it into parts lol

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4 // Part 5 // Part 6

Aegon has always been loud, that’s just who he is. And he was your neighbor. As cliche as it was, you fell in love with him. It wasn’t all at once. It was one year, one step at a time. You always found yourself drawn to him in some way. You swore up and down that there have been glances between you two over the years, lingering touches, soft words. It all happened so quickly that you could never be sure if they were real. Despite everything life threw at you and Aegon, you two would always find each other, even if sometimes you didn’t want to.

Being two years older than you, Aegon acted like he always knew better than everyone else, especially when it came to his younger siblings, Helaena and Aemond. You and Aegon were civil at most. A passing nod here and there; a kind smile every now and then. When you were younger there were rarely any genuine conversations but he was always around. Always around you.

Unlike your relationship with Aegon, you were close to Helaena and Aemond, always have been. Helaena was your best girl. Together you two would giggle over boys and girls and talk about your favorite things. Aemond was your best guy. You would work on homework together and have debates simply for the fun of having a debate.

Within the first few years of meeting Aegon and his siblings, a steady rhythm between the four of you was found. You’d hang out with Helaena and Aemond while Aegon would do his own thing near you three. Most of the time Aegon was on his Gameboy but he was always paying attention. Sometimes you thought that he needed friends, that he should join you and his brother and sister, but his attitude would say something different. Sometimes, the three of you would try to play somewhere away from Aegon but he would always end up in the same room anyway. You considered it a lose-lose situation.

“Aegon, come play with us!” Helaena called out.

“Let me think about it.” Aegon waited a few seconds. “No.”

Aemond picked up the biggest dragon and flew it over your head. “If you’re just going to sit, go sit somewhere else.”

Aegon stuck out his tongue. “Just because you said that, I’m staying, little brother.”

Aemond cringed. He hated being the youngest of the three.

You rolled your eyes and continued to play with your dragons and your blocks. You focused hard on making the most perfect castle for everyone’s dragons to live in. Red, blue, and yellow blocks were stacked on top of each other with a yellow triangle block adorning the top of the castle as the roof.

You were admiring your hard work when a thought occurred to you. “Let’s make flags for our castles!”

Excitedly, you turned towards your friends only to find them already on their feet on their way to grab art supplies. You laughed as you got up to join them but stopped at the doorway. You didn’t like that Aegon wasn’t joining you.

“Would you like to make a flag, Aegon? I can make you your own castle, too.”

“Pft, I’m eight, I can make my own castle,” he proclaimed. He got up from his comfy chair and put his Gameboy down. “But yeah, I’d like to make a flag.”

You gave him a big grin. “Yay!”

Aegon followed you as you led the way to the big dining room table that was now littered with art supplies. Helaena and Aemond made sure to get everything. There were glue sticks, pom poms, crayons, markers, colored pencils, paint, paper, scissors, and little sticks for the flags. Helaena even pulled out her special foam stickers for the occasion.

“Come on, you guys! You’re slow!” Called Helaena.

She was already working on her flag, picking out the stickers she wanted. The outline of a butterfly was on her paper, colored with purples and pinks. You peered over at Aemond and saw the outline of a dragon blowing fire.

You turned to Aegon. “What are you gonna put on your flag?” you asked.

“Oh, I know exactly who’s gonna be on my flag.” A mischievous smile snuck its way onto his face.

Your eyes widened in horror at the implication but you caught yourself before you could say anything stupid. Aegon strolled into the room and plopped himself into an empty chair.

You took in all the art supplies laid out in front of you. A smile spread out across your face as you reached out and grabbed whatever caught your eye. Crayons of various colors were soon in a pile in front of you. Ideas bounced around your head and it was hard to pluck out just one. Thinking hard, you turned your attention to Aegon, curious to see what he was working on. You couldn’t see much but you did see a swarm of purple. Just then an idea popped into your head.

“And done!” Aegon exclaimed as he jumped out of his chair. Even though he was the second last to start on his flag, he was the first to finish. Aegon stood tall and proud as he showed off his flag. “I present to you the flag for the House of Waluigi!”

A once white piece of paper now had a carefully drawn picture of Waluigi from the Super Mario games. He was tall and gangly and had a long, pointy nose that Aegon had extended all the way to the edge of the paper. His purple hat covered his eyes almost completely but a clever glint could still be seen. Waluigi’s limbs were just as long as his nose, if not longer. Aegon drew him almost like a long legged spider creature.

It brought a chuckle out of you, seeing the flag. It was just so…Aegon. He locked eyes with you and smiled when you laughed and you felt yourself blush. It was a simple thing, and you didn’t know why, but it made you happy for some reason.

“Okay, I’m next,” Helaena said. She made a big deal of folding it up as she stood up so no one could see it. Slowly, she unraveled it. “Ta-da!”

Helaena’s flag had a butterfly with blue and green wings on a pink and purple background. It had a giant smile on its face and curly antennas that made a heart at the top of the paper. It was bright and colorful, just like her.

“I guess I’m next,” said Aemond sheepishly. There was no flourish in his showing of his flag but there was still a glint of pride.

Aemond’s flag was black with a large green dragon breathing fire. It was fierce, despite being drawn by a four year old. “Her name is Vhagar and she’s the mightiest dragon!” he let out a giant laugh.

Giggles erupted from all of them. Aemond was sweet and quiet, no one really thought he would choose a dragon for his house.

“I’m last so that means mine will be awesome!” you said between giggles.

You took a breath and flipped your paper over to reveal your flag. It was a three headed dog, with one head looking silly and lopsided and the other two looking fairly serious.

“He may not breathe fire but this dog is really big and can probably fight your dragon, Aemond,” you teased. “And her name is Jeremy Triangle Dot but we call her Dot for short. Mainly because Dot is the boss. She’s the middle head.”

Aemond rolled his eyes. “Vhagar is a dragon. A dragon.”

“I bet if I put Waluigi on Dot we could defeat Vhagar!” Aegon jumped in.

“Hey, not fair!” Aemond pouted.

“It’s okay, Aemond. My butterfly will be super big and protect you with her wings.” Helaena piped up.

“Auntie Alicent!” You called out for your friends’ mother. She was a mother figure for you as well. “Look at our Houses! Who would you pick?”

Alicent came to the table and smiled at all of you.

“They all look amazing! I’m afraid I can’t pick one house. But we can say that I rule over all your houses as a queen,” she joked.

“Queen Auntie Alicent!” you cried.

“Queen Mother!” the siblings yelled in response.

“Okay, Queen Mother I am then,” Alicent laughed and messed up Aegon’s hair. “You children are so creative. Would you like smoothies?”

“A strawberry one!” Aegon yelled out.

“Yes, yes, I know, Aegon. I’ll get you all your favorite smoothies.” She left after pressing a kiss atop all of your heads.

The four of you spent the next two hours making up stories of your Houses and how they all lived together in the same kingdom. The House of Waluigi warred with the Vhagar House while Butterfly House and Dog House stayed neutral through almost everything. The only time those two Houses warred was when the kingdom's flavor of ice cream had to be chosen.

It was the first time you, Helaena, and Aemond had fun with Aegon. For once, Aegon wasn’t on the side playing on his Gameboy or doing his own thing. The four of you grew together; the relationship between the siblings being the best it’s ever been and the relationship you had with them being built on a strong foundation.

Seven years went by and you were all still as thick as thieves. The only difference was that you found yourself hanging out more with Aegon than Helaena and Aemond. It wasn't noticeable to anyone else but it was to you. You found yourself sitting next to Aegon and talking to him more. Whenever you were playing a game with the siblings you were always on the same team as Aegon.

Together, the two of you were inseparable, even at that young age. Through some sort of finagling, your mother and Alicent got you, Aemond, and Aegon all on the same football team. Really, though, the three of you should not be in the same age bracket. To make things a little even, however, you and Aemond, at the age of ten, played with Aegon’s team; them at age thirteen. Nevertheless, it was chaotic fun for the three of you. Helaena, on the other hand, preferred to stay off the pitch and cheer you on from the sidelines.

“Aeg, through! THROUGH!” You called from the other side of the field. If he would just pass the ball, you could sprint through the two defenders in your way and take a shot at the goal without being offside.

Aegon was being a ball hog, playing around with the ball just to show off and keep it away from the opposing team. The opposing team actually being the Targaryen’s cousins’ team.

“Aegon, focus!” you tried to get his attention.

Eventually, Aegon looked up and saw your plan. He gave the ball a strong kick. It flew through the air, over you and the other defenders. You sprinted as fast as you could. Since you were behind the defenders when Aegon kicked the ball, if you got to it before they did you would be safe to continue towards the goal without any penalty.

One of the defenders, a cousin of the Targaryen siblings, Jace, came up next to you, also sprinting his heart out. The two of you locked eyes in a heated battle of dominance. Smirking at him, you dug deep for that extra burst of speed you needed to beat Jace to the ball.

The ball was still making its arc in the air when you finally passed Jace just a tiny bit. When it hit the ground it bounced once. Twice. Three times before you were able to catch it with your foot. Jace was right behind you. Already you dug yourself into the ground, ready for any hit from him that could push you off the ball. You dribbled fast, dodging the defenders that have come up to catch you. Swerving in and out you saw the perfect opportunity to take a shot. Grabbing that burst of energy deep inside you, you gave one final push so it was just you and the other team’s goalie. He dived at you but you were quick to avoid him and kick the ball to the back of the net.

Aegon whooped and threw his hand in the air before tackling you in a hug. Helaena and Alicent were cheering loud on the sidelines and Aemond jumped up and down in his goal box, getting ready for the next kick off.

Jace started the kick off. He passed it to his little brother, Luke, and they went straight for the goal. Pure force. That wouldn’t work, not with your team to stop them. Luke was fast but you were faster. You caught up to him easily and fought for the ball. You were able to kick it out of his control and pass it on to Aegon. Aegon took it and tried to boot it down the field but Jace got the ball back before he could. He was about to reach out and grab Jace’s jersey.

“Aegon!” you warned him. He didn’t need to give the team a free kick, not now.

Aegon looked at you and scowled but quickly replaced it with a playful wink. Then off he went, chasing after Jace.

Jace was a decent distance from the goal box when he let the ball fly. It didn’t actually go through the air, but was a fast and strong kick that stayed on the ground. Luke followed the ball and Aegon followed Luke. As Aemond dived for the ball, Luke attempted to slide tackle the ball out of Aemond’s reach. Instead of hitting the ball, though, Luke hit Aemond’s eye cleats up.

A scream of pain.

Blood.

So much blood was pouring out of Aemond’s face.

Luke just sat there, stunned at what just happened. Jace was quick to run to his younger brother and make sure he was okay but of course he was. He wasn’t the one who got cleats in his eye.

You grabbed Aegon’s hand and ran him over to his brother.

“Aemond, you’re gonna be okay,” he told his brother.

Aemond was holding his face with one hand. The goalie glove he had on was soaked in blood. He couldn’t speak. All he could do was barely shake or nod his head.

Alicent was running onto the field. “Aemond! AEMOND!”

Coach Otto, Alicent’s father, also ran to Aemond. He picked him up effortlessly. “I got you.”

Aemond mumbled something but you couldn’t make it out.

“Keep that hand on your eye, gotta keep the pressure there.” Coach Otto turned to his daughter. “Meet us at the emergency room.”

Alicent nodded silently. She looked at her children, her children and you. “Helaena, Aegon, and my dear, are you alright?”

Helaena nodded her head. She was in shock. You went over to her and gave her a tight hug. She held onto you hard.

Aegon just lowered his head. He didn’t say or indicate anything. All you could tell was that he was angry.

“I’m… I’m fine. I think,” you told Alicent. “I want to go with you to the emergency room. Is that okay?”

Alicent enveloped you in a hug of her own when you let go of Helaena. “Oh, my dear, of course you can.” She let you go. “Come now, all of you.”

With Alicent leading you all, you ran to the car and piled in. Alicent was normally a very safe driver but this time she was aggressive. When you arrived at the emergency it was clean. Almost too clean. You and Aegon stood out in your dirty football uniforms. Holding Helaena’s hand, you followed close behind Alicent.

“My son, my son, Aemond Targaryen was taken here. He was being carried by my father. There was blood pouring from his face,” she was telling the front desk.

“Yes, him,” the lady at the front desk seemed to be in no rush.

“Please, I’d like to see him.”

“You’re going to have to wait a bit -”

Aegon snapped. “Let us see our brother!”

“Aegon!” cried Alicent.

“Aegon, please, everything is going to be okay,” you tried to comfort him.

The lady coughed. “As I said, you’re going to have to wait. He was taken in for emergency surgery.”

Alicent’s face lost all color. “But, he’s alive, yes?”

“He should be fine.” The lady’s eyes softened. “Take a seat, it might be a long wait.”

“Thank you,” Alicent nodded her head.

You grabbed Aegon’s hand and took him aside to some chairs in a corner. Once you got to them, Aegon yanked his hand out of yours.

“Aegon, what’s going on?”

“What’s going on? My brother is in a freaking surgery because I couldn’t keep the ball away from our side. That’s what’s going on.”

“It isn’t your fault he got hurt. He’s a goalie, he knows the risks.”

“That risk shouldn’t be losing an eye!”

“It was Luke. You know it was. He shouldn’t have slide tackled like that. It’s illegal.”

“Yeah, and look where that got him. Luke isn’t the one facing the consequences,” Aegon spat. “Instead, it’s my little brother!”

You tackled Aegon in a hug and held him tight. His breathing, once rapid, slowed down. You felt his arms slowly circle around you, as though he was scared to do so. One deep breath. Aegon lowered his head to your shoulder and you felt his shudder. He was crying.

“It should’ve been me,” he whispered against you.

“Shh, I’m right here for you.”

You held him close and didn’t let him go. You’d never let him go.

By the time Aemond got out of surgery, Aegon was asleep with his head on your shoulder. Aemond had lost his eye. He came out with a white gauze taped over where his eye should’ve been. You shook Aegon awake when Alicent brought him over. Aegon looked at Aemond and instantly guilt filled his face.

“I should’ve done something. I’m sorry,” he told his brother.

“You weren’t the one who slide tackled into my face,” Aemond offered him a weak smile.

“He’s right Aeg,” you bumped him with your shoulder. “Everything is gonna be okay.”

After Aemond lost his eye, Aegon started to change. You don't know whether it was just because he wanted to or if it has something to do with not being able to protect his brother. He was more protective of Aemond but he started losing himself. His temper was a little shorter and he learned to hurt people with words. It was as though his thought process was that if he couldn't protect him then he might as well do nothing.

Throughout middle school and junior high he made friends with kids…different from you and his siblings. They were wilder and louder. It seemed as though Aegon thrived with them. He soon started to taunt you and his brother and sister in front of them but would be quick to apologize when you'd walk home together. Away from everyone else. It was as though Aegon, the real Aegon, wasn’t good enough to be at school. Instead, he created this caricature of himself who’s even more obstinate than he already was. For a while it seemed as though he thrived on the attention but you could see it in his eyes that it was tiring. Yet he kept it up.

His relationship with Helaena and Aemond faltered. They were no longer the close siblings they once were. Aegon’s actions outside of home began to drift in. He would ignore Aemond, order around Helaena, and make snide comments at both of them. Your relationship with him changed, as well. He was less genuine with you, his jokes were even more crass than they used to be, and he’d ask you to get to know some of the other girls so he could know who to flirt with.

But there were still small moments when you thought everything would be okay. You’d share a sweet smile with him over a stupid joke. He’d tease you by taking away your water bottle but then playfully give it back. Every now and then he’d surprise you with a big bear hug but then linger just a little bit. Aegon would look at you sometimes and refuse to look away, even if you caught him. If he saw that you caught him, though, he’d play it off with a cheeky wink. When he thought you weren’t looking you could see how soft his eyes were, how they lit up when he looked at you.

Those moments would never last too long. As soon as someone else would sit next to Aegon he broke out of whatever spell he cast on both of you. It was like nothing ever happened. Like you two never even met. You thought you’d get used to the disappointment and dull pain in your heart but you never did. Your emotions were bottled up and they festered deep inside you, ready to burst open at any moment.

“Why do you do that?” you asked Aegon one day.

The two of you were at his house working on some homework.

He looked at you, confused. “What do you mean?”

“Why do you hang out with them?”

“You mean my friends?”

“Yeah, them.” You leaned back in your chair.

“Because they’re my friends,” he said slowly.

“But they’re nothing like us. Me and your brother and sister are on completely opposite sides.”

“I’m allowed to have more friends, it’s not a competition.”

You looked at him, wondering if he was avoiding something else. “Okay. I just worry about you hanging out with other people, especially them.”

“I’ll take care of myself, don’t worry.” He gave you a reassuring smile then returned to his work.

[randomspagetti]

{The End/A Compilation on This Project}

Summary:

I don't really like the climax I came up with at the time so I'll be adding a new version here. So if It differs from the images that's why, I feel like I made the pages during a time where I just wanted to get the comic over with so it kinda feels generic and half baked.

-

Starting from our last point, with the words of encouragement from the Light of Resolution and the steel force will to get his dad back, Choco manages to land a powerful strike, surprising the ancients and phasing Berserk Cacao.

This leaves space for the ancients to also be able to help, Pure Vanilla gives both Choco and Holly buffs while Holly holds the line and protects them from incoming attacks. By doing so they're able to get closer. Finally, a combined attack is hit to where something finally seems to happen. It's powerful and cuts into the indoor wall of the citadel. The smoke dissipates and all that is left is just Cacao.

They're all pretty suprised, but Cacao still has some lingering curse corruption on his body and his breathing is shallow. Hearing the loud crashes from the room the watchers (and Caramel) run in to see the ... interesting situation that had unfolded.

We then cut to Cacao sitting in a hospital room, he had woken up a bit earlier and is trying somewhat to recall the events of the previous day.

Holly and PV soon walk in with mugs, not expecting him to be up. They're caught off guard but soon calm down and get to chatting. Cacao finally admits he's not really doing all so well with both his kingdom and his son over the course of the conversation.

He also sort of opens up about more sensitive issues he's been through, thought he doesn't hold that topic for long given it's just too much for him at the moment. Holly understands where he's coming from and offers some words of encouragement, while PV tells him they're going to look into something for the curse and to actually help Cacao mentally.

Cacao reluctantly agrees.

It ends a bit more open ended with your own interpretation of how Cacao deals with his issues being set, though there would be a few aftermath pages exploring the relationship with the characters shown after the events of the story, this one for example is Cacao and Choco doing pottery painting.

------------------------------------------------------------

Some interesting facts, and stuff I made that didn't make it into the final cut:

-In my discord server berserk Cacao was often referred to as "The enemy spider"

-I often used their hands (so many hand drawings) as a way to show more of their character, Holly has hand scars while PV has a redness around his nails from stress. I like to add a human aspect to each of them so the reader can relate

-Berserk Cacao has had so many iterations before the final one, I just couldn't decide what I wanted him to look like!

-Each character has a different way of showing their thoughts/flashbacks! Caramels are more center focused given her only thought in that flashback was of the loud crash, Choco's are blurry given his eyesight, and Cacao has flashbacks and thinks in grayscale! You can actually notice this more during the dinner scene, this has it's own reasoning but it's bit more darker

-Most of the sketches were 10x more funnier than the finished project but I had to make it realistic

-Affogato was originally going to make it into the comic as a background character, but I felt it was too OOC for him given his devious crimes

Onto the darker stuff-

TW: Implied Abuse, Blood

-Everyone knows about the cut panels but there was actually an entire page scrapped too, originally this would follow along with the Light of Resolution convo (I will now refer to it as the LOR) but I scrapped it for a few reasons.

-Firstly I felt like it didn't add anything and only just re-established something the reader already well knew from both Holly and Cacaos statements, secondly I just felt like it was OOC for how I wrote the LOR. The LOR is in part Cacao. He is Cacao's resolution made physical. This would be his story to tell because he is a part of Cacao. It is Cacao in a way. I also felt revealing his face felt kinda eh and just didn't fit. So for those reasons I chopped it

-Cacao's curse wound was actually bleeding in this scene, though it's a bit hard to see with the shaders

That's all! Thank you everyone for being on this journey with me, I appreciate each and every one of you, you truly helped me expand my art horizons

[not-5-rats]

bodie, marco and/or timmy headcannons? maybe?

Hmmm okay, a please would be nice though /j, you didn't specify what kind of hcs sooooo you're getting silly ones :3

!!!Nonsense Gator Boys HCs ^^!!!

Bodie:

He is the only one that can navigate the swamps, nobody else has any clue where they're going

His posture is...not amazing, he's so used to bending down slightly when around Timmy...his posture has never been the same

He enjoys cooking with people, it's a nice way to spend time together

Dude would love Paddington, I feel no need to elaborate

An issue he has is his willingness to put others' needs above his own, it came out slightly when Bug arrived with their injured leg but it becomes very obvious when somebody he cares for is ill. He won't sleep, or look after himself properly because he needs to ensure they're doing alright.

He's fully prepared to die in the arena, he couldn't stand losing anybody else atp...he's ready to throw himself in dangers way at a seconds notice if it means everyone else will be alright

I don't think he could live with himself if he let anybody else die in the arena...if he lost the only people he had left, he'd probably lose himself as well

He has a vast knowledge on which fungi are edible and which aren't

Timmy:

Lost. He's constantly loosing his path, but he always finds his way back in the end

He spends most of his time climbing, whether it be trees, vines, piles of rocks, anything

Adding on to my last point, if you & him were together he would randomly drop from the trees and give you a lil kiss on the forehead/ cheek

Floor time - y'know when you're super burnt out and lie on your back, on the floor, just lie there for a few hours? Yeah that's Timmy

He doesn't always properly analyse the risks of certain activities, luckily he's nimble enough to often get out of these tight situations but he's received a couple injuries due to his impulsiveness

He's so overwhelmed right now, what the fuck is going on with his life. His parents are alive, his mother's a dragon, he's part dragon, Bodie's his uncle...everything is suddenly so different...he feels...lost

At points he wishes the Hunters had just went through with killing him when they found him...things would've been so much simpler then

He makes friendship bracelets, like the bead ones, he puts people's names on them

Marco:

Enjoys the rain, idc what you say, they're a rain lover

Why is Marco fruity? I can't quite put my finger on what type of fruit, but like...undeniably some sort of queer (I love them)

They would have had such an intense emo phase (which then evolved into kinda gothic adult)

They have like a mini museum in their bag, so many random things from such odd places, it's admirable

They could have stopped this from happening. Well maybe they could have, if they were around more maybe there was something they could have done that would've stopped Timmy from being taken...stopped this whole mess from happening

The guilt. It's fucking unbearable. Why did they constantly have to be gone, why couldn't they just stick around for 5 bloody minutes!

They want to change, they want to be there for their friends...but at this point, they feel like it's too late. Bodie and Timmy are so close and now it's revealed they're actually related!...is there even space for Marco anymore...are they even wanted at this point?

They like frogs

[shmichaelmeen]

Nothing could have prepared me for how Season 2 ended. Not even the spoilers.

okay i know that we all make jokes about how episode six is insane, there was even one person who posted about how it's comparable to eating a bag of powdered donuts but the last one is covered in cocaine. and i knew how season 2 ended from ~ the internet ~ and everything and due to some traumatic shit happening in the middle of watching season 2 for the first time, i never finished it. so all i knew was whatever i saw online and i didn't think there was anything much more to it.

but oh BOY was i wrong

watching episode 6 felt like a literal fever dream. I didn't even realize what episode it WAS until my friend (who helped me finish watching the season) pointed it out. and i FREAKED OUT because sooooo much happens in one episode. SO MUCH. i genuinely thought that the whole bit AFTER Jim/Gabriel got his memories back - the Metatron appearing, the kiss, EVERYTHING INSANE - was all another episode.

I have a lot to say about how people talked about the ending versus how it was to watch it and see it for myself for the first time but what i will say is this. i tried to go along with everyone making explanations for what happened and justifying that everything about the end, about the episode, heck even about the SEASON makes any sense but i cannot follow that anymore. to put it simply, there's a LOT there and i don't think at this time we CAN make a nice neat explanation. and that's the whole point. the whole point of the ending, the whole point of Nina and Maggie's ending, is that rarely in life (even i guess in immortal life apparently) is anything simple. when in comes to matters of the heart and Human Emotion, there is never an easy answer. it's messy, and that's perfectly okay. it's allowed to be messy. and that's my approach to trying to analyze season 2. it's okay that it's messy and things may not make sense. it's meant to be that way to represent just how confusing and even frustrating love can be.

everyone loves to bash the miscommunication trope", but why does it work? because it is realistic (a lot of the time, depending on writing of course). it's only realistic that people miscommunicate and that confronting feels for each other makes things confusing and awkward. that's how the ending was written. and i think that's perfectly okay.

as much as i am a Tier 1 Overthinker, this is one time where I'm willing to accept that the situation is unexplainable until we have further information (yay season 3!!!!!!). this also isn't an "anti-theories" post either. i think those posts, as well as all of the "what if the curtains are just blue" people, are trying to hard to be cool and different by not thinking critically about a piece of media when media is designed to be thought about and analyzed. and trust me, i do like entertaining theories, but I'm just staying super open-minded for the time being. if anyone has any niche theories i'd love to hear them because I'm willing to entertain any possible answer until we get the truth :)

(oh and before anyone says anything about how it's my own fault for looking at spoilers, that's not the issues. spoilers aren't the thing I'm talking about. it's people trying to make definitive answers and put together the puzzle perfectly when we don't have all the pieces. not having an answer feels uncomfortable, but that's also the whole point.)

[i-am-a-bad-influence-writes]

Not Man, Nor Monster

Masterlist Word count: 1.5 k Halsin x Reader x Astarion (but he isn't really in it. just the dynamic) Read on AO3

Summary: You tried so hard, but in the end you couldn't stop Astarion's ascension. It weighs on you harder than you had imagined. Halsin helps you get through it.

Normally, camp is a place to unwind. A place where the outside world doesn't exist, except for those nights where the outside world infiltrates camp. Luckily, those nights are few and far between.   Tonight is a different situation. There are two empty tents. One is permanently empty, the other temporarily abandoned to find peace in nature. The one belongs to Astarion, the other to Tav. The rest of the group thought about going after either of them to try and talk this through, but Jaheira made the wise decision to let everything cool down before starting a conversation.  There's a blanket of tension and gloom thrown over the camp as everyone tries to dance around the subject at hand. Jaheira, Halsin, and Gale sit around the campfire, all three hopelessly lost while looking for something to talk about while a bottle of mermaid whiskey gets passed around in circles that seem to go a little too fast. Scratch and Honey, the owlbear Tav jokingly named after Halsin's favourite snack, scatter around but aren't playing as they usually do. It seems even the two of them can feel the tension. Scratch had to be called back multiple times while trying to go after Tav.  Gale finally breaks the silence: 'So what do we do now?' Jaheira shows a pained smile as the mermaid whiskey is passed to her. The bottle is almost empty by now.  'We drink and we wait,' she speaks. Halsin shivers. Quite the sight to see someone that big shiver.  'This doesn't feel right.' As if on que, a bloodcurdling scream is heard from the forest. It is loaded with regret, pain, and heartbreak. The scream goes through bone and marrow, sending a cold shiver down the spines of everyone at camp. Shadowheart comes running towards the campfire, panic in her eyes.  'I think someone should check up on them,' she hastily says, almost getting ready to run into the woods but Halsin gets up and nods to her. She looks defeated and maybe a little annoyed. Jaheira pats the spot on the ground where Halsin was sitting as he walks calmy towards the forest. 'But I-'  'It's better if he goes,' Jaheira interrupts, 'those two are inseparable.' Shadowheart knows it to be true but still looks hesitant as she sits down. Jaheira passes her the mermaid whiskey. She toys with the bottle for a second before finishing it off. 

'Tav, are you here?' Halsin doesn't have to ask, he is one with the forest and knows every creature there. He simply does it to be polite, to give Tav a chance to tell him to piss off if they so please. He finds them curled up and sobbing, laying in the middle of a small clearing. They look up at Halsin with big, red eyes. He hates the sight and would kill Astarion for doing this to Tav but they are more important than his murderous rage right now.  He sits down next to them and they lay their head in his lap. Halsin gently brushes his fingers through their hair, allowing them to let it all go, let everything slip out.  'He told me he'd make me his spawn, after everything we've been through. He tried to do to me what has been done to him. I should've never helped him with the ritual. I am so stupid.'  'No darling, you couldn't predict this. You see the good in everyone, that's what makes you so incredibly special. It is one of many reasons why I love you.'  'You know, that's the worst part. He told me he loved me before proposing to make me his spawn. How can someone be so incredibly cruel? He was healing and this just changed everything.'  'It pains me to see you like this. No one deserves that kind of treatment.'  'But I do. I am far too naïve to fight this fight. I shouldn't be leading a group of people into battle. I'm not strong enough. I make too many stupid decisions.' Halsin can feel as the pain and sadness Tav feels turns into rage and self-hatred. It's something he's never seen of them before. They're normally the sunshine smile at camp, the motivator, the helper. He must've been blind to forget they're a person with fears and insecurities too. Blinded in the light of their smile as to not see the shadows behind it.  'My heart, if not you then who? You are the only one in this camp without a clouded opinion. The only one who weighs every option evenly and thinks ahead. Sometimes I feel like you can see into the future.'  'Even so, I let someone with such a black heart cloud my judgement for so long. I can only be grateful that you saw through all of it. Not everyone at camp is as forgiving as you are.'  'My love, I am not forgiving in the slightest. I hold grudges until the end of time but you always see reason.'  'Halsin, please. I know you're trying to make it better, but I just want to wallow in my feelings until I can't feel anything anymore.'  'Are you sure?'  'No, but your words usually soothe me. Now they only piss me off. I don't want to hate you.' Their breath hitches in their throat as the sobs come up again. Halsin lays himself down in the grass and pats his chest. Tav takes the invitation and lays their head on his chest, curled into his body with his arm around them, holding them tight. It feels like a safety blanket, like a cloud numbing the feelings of before. The big feelings weighing on their chest seem to lose their weight as a spell of tiredness lifts over them. Surely, Halsin has something to do with it, as well as the protective spell they feel encasing them in their spot, but they don't mind. And slowly night becomes day. 

'They're not back yet,' Shadowheart asks Jaheira while they're both suiting up.  'No, and I doubt we'll head out today.' Jaheira can tell that, while she's trying to be respectful and loving, it annoys Shadowheart that Tav can't shove their feelings to the side in favour of the greater good. 'They'll be fine soon. They're strong but you have to realize that they've been playing the part of listening ear for weeks now. Maybe even months. They've listened to everyone's troubles and tried to fix them. Astarion was a real piece of work but even I could see he was starting to regain self-worth and love for life. Besides, they were together for some time. They did everything they could to make Astarion as comfortable and happy as possible and he still stabbed them in the back. That's not something you come back from easily.'  'What do you mean?'  'You did not hear what he proposed to her last night?'  'No, it is not my business.'  'You should make it your business,' Jaheira grumbles, 'he told them he loved them and he'd make them his spawn to love forever.'  'I see. It makes more sense now.' 

Morning light wakes Tav with a comforting thumping under their head. They open their eyes to see Halsin still peacefully sleeping. The protective spell he covered them with has long worn off and so has the sleeping spell he put on them. A smile spreads on their lips as they push themselves up to press the sweetest of kisses on his lips. They did not want his help yesterday but are more than glad he put them to sleep. Nothing they thought or said was rational yesterday.  'You are going to give me toothaches if you keep kissing me that sweetly.'  'I thought you liked sweet.'  'I never said I do not.' A content feeling flushes over Tav as they lose themselves in this moment. There is still good in the world.  'I've been dreaming,' Tav tells halsin, 'I dreamt about a world overgrown with lush greenery and people living in peace with each other and everything around them. There was no Astarion, no elder brain, no tadpoles. Just you and me sitting on the porch of a tiny house we built looking out onto a lake. Sometimes we would go out and roam, uncover the forests around us and finding new spots each and every time. And you told me you loved me every day and I said it back every time.' Halsin smiles and tightens his arm around Tav.  'That sounds like heaven.'  'I wish it were possible.'  'Maybe it is. Maybe we'll find a way after all of this is over.' They stay quiet for a while.  'I think we'll need to kill Astarion after all of this is over. I fear he might be worse than Cazador.'  'As much as I wish it were different, I think you are right, but we'll get there when we get there.'  'Deal.'  'Are you ready to return to camp?'  'Not yet. Let's just stay a little longer.' 

[hyperfixingfr]

I'm putting this in the tags for the people who are sending me rude asks. Please do the mature thing and just don't send me nasty things. Thanks.

For the last time since I keep getting nasty fucking asks about it insulting me and calling me names; I am not tryna run none of you people outta this damn fandom and that was never my goal so quit playing victim and pretending I am. This is a fandom for everyone, obviously... Which is why I criticize when you guys treat it like it isn't. I was trying countless times yesterday to drop the conversation when the person arguing with me kept insisting that they had an issue with me talking about an aspect they didn't like, because they were arguing with me over an opinion I had that they didn't like, not over something that mattered. This aspect personally affected me, and many others in the server. This isn't an aspect I enjoy people pretending is cute or funny because it caused very, very real damage to things like body positivity. I don't try to fight with ANYONE here, ever. My entire goal in these situations is to educate when someone believes this is bad behavior by explaining why it's problematic to gloss over this aspect or glorify it when it was a very real issue. Please, ask yourself why you're beefing with a minor. I beg of you. This person had no intention to listen to me, OR the server owner, when we told them that they can have different opinions and simply ignore it if they don't like it. They also ignored the countless attempts at de-escalating the situation, proving they just wanted to argue about it.

I should also mention this person said some really nasty things that implied I was apart of cancel culture, or on the "everything is problematic" bandwagon which is kind of implying they think that criticizing bigotry is wrong, even when it's coming from the minority group it affected. My criticizing of a media is not disliking of a media, nor is it "cancel culture". I am not trying to CANCEL a show from the 2000s. I am merely pointing out its flaws. If you can't handle being apart of a morally flawed show's fandom, don't be apart of it. Not only that, but this person made passive aggressive comments such as "wow you ramble a lot" completely unnecessarily when I was speaking. Why was this needed? I know I do. Why are you trying to insinuate that my passion about the subject is weird? Either way, I wasn't trying to have this fight. They were. This person said a lot of insensitive things to me, claiming I pulled the autism card when I rebuttaled the "wow you ramble a lot" stuff, telling me they had an issue with me merely discussing a topic that was 100% allowed in the server (stated by the server owner, the channel was allowed for criticism), and was overall very passionate about putting me in the wrong for simply pointing out and discussing the flaws of a show because it was brought up. That's not okay and that's incredibly judgy. I dunno why this person can't admit they're wrong, but it's not hard to understand that my criticism is not unwarranted nor is it unwelcome. I did nothing wrong by speaking about it in a channel that directly said criticism was allowed.

Do not play victim when you started the argument AND fueled the argument when people tried to stop it. Simple as. I'm really hoping this person realizes they're wrong and apologizes appropriately like a mature adult, because this is ridiculous. This is such a stupid thing for them to have fought me over and no one's gonna be upset if they just... Did the right thing and apologize. This applies to ANY of you who mess up. If you mess up and realize you've done something you shouldn't have, just apologize man. Especially in a case like this where the person was arguing over "toma-to, tamato-e" or whatever. They didn't like my WARRENTED opinion and they got on my ass about it repeatedly, and I got nothing out of asking them why they held it because their response was basically "you don't like this media how I like it, so you can't possibly like it, get out". Hence, them asking why I'm in a server of fans if I... "Don't like the show". Simply because I criticized an aspect.

Please, if any of you don't believe me, the server is open for the public. You can go in there and see the conversation yourself. I am not hiding myself at all from this, and I'm glad to share evidence that I did just as I said and they did just as I said. This is a stupid fvking argument and any of you still dragging it on should be ashamed for thinking this is worth arguing about. People have opinions, leave it at that. What happened to respecting valid stances?