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Triangle

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Why do you hurt my heart so excellently with your angst writings? You’re raising the bar too high for us other writers to keep up. /j

Also, do you have any fluff headcanons about the gator lads?

Awwwwwh!!! No stop I'm blushing <33 /lh

Ik it was silly joke but please remember your writing is amazing <33

If Fluff is what you want then Fluff it shall be!

Fluff HC for the Gator Boys!

I like to think Bodie's love languages (romantic or platonic) are quality time and acts of service, not sure why, he just seems like when he cares about somebody he constantly invites them to do EVERYTHING with him

He won't force people to go with him, he won't follow people around like a hurt dog but if he's off to do something he puts out the offer. Everytime he goes somewhere he's just like "Well Bug I was just going off to *insert wtv he's doing*, you wanna come with?"

Or if there's something around the house he notices needs done, like sweeping or smth Bodie's on it. Bug's thinking of painting their walls? Bodie's done it. He does loads of little things just to make Bugs like that lil bit easier

If Bug can't sleep, or is cold, or even just feeling a bit down or wanting a hug then Bodie will let them curl up in his arms, their head rests against his chest or shoulder and they just sit there. Nobody says anything, they just sit in peaceful silence they're just happy to be near each other

Bodie and Marco have 'tea parties' whenever Marco's home. I mean they sit in Bodie's house with their little cups of tea and some biscuits, and they talk about what Marco's seen when he was away or how Bodie and Timmy have been. It's so sweet <3

Speaking of tea and Marco, they're a tea collector. I mean bro travels the lands, he finds odd or local teas and brings them back so them and Bodie can try them (sometimes Timmy joins but I don't see him as a huge tea person)

If Bug (or anyone else) can't sleep Marco'll sit with them and tell stories/ tales from the places they've been. Whether it be mythology or their own experiences they have endless stories to share

Has a basic understanding of flower language, so sometimes if they visit but nobodies home they'll leave a little bundle of flowers to remind people that they care

Marco and I are married

Marco loves holding hands, there's just something so innocent and sweet about it. Like holding hands is the purest form of affection there is to them

Timmy's a sneaky lil boy, so sometimes when Marco finally returns and doesn't notice him Timmy'll hide in the trees and suddenly launch himself onto Marcos shoulders...they've stopped being suprised by it

Timmy sits on the ground rambling bout his crystals whilst Bug sits on some form of raised platform behind him and gently braids/ unbraids his hair. It's so sweet and they both feel so safe

He does that thing when he goes up behind people and he wraps around them like a koala on a tree (especially Bodie & Bug)

He may seem like a ball of confidence but you do so much as wink at that lil guy and he's silent. He just goes silent and burns up instantly

Timmys autistic and (like me) he constantly wants to chew on things, so Bug made him a chewy necklace. Like a leather necklace with one of those chewy jewels on the end of it (they have matching ones)

Timmy forced Bodie to watch as he learned to do a cartwheel, Bodie didn't mind honestly he was pretty proud when Timmy finally managed to do it

They're all sweethearts and I adore them with my entier lil soul <3

That's it, that's all you get!! (...I'll be back, maybe angst maybe fluff you'll find out)

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I hate being older because I just had a nightmare and all I really want rn is to go see my Mum

But I can't cause she'd tell me to go away and think I was being annoying cause it's 4 in the morning on a Monday-

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I admire Mage, and their ability to accidentally write the autistic experience perfectly MULTIPLE TIMES (/hj)

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Imagine for me, if you will, an alternative universe where when Bodie was first thrown into the arena in his...state but it wasn't Rolden he was fighting...no it was someone a lot weaker

Also..ehm...this is a long one, sorry babes'. And warning as usual there's death and minor descriptions of violence so be aware <3

☆×.------------------------.×☆

"There's nothing left to save..."

☆---------------☆

The arena was perfectly lit given the time of day, the sun highlighting each nook and corner. Rows upon rows of people sat, excitement boiling up inside of them as they spoke amongst themselves. Suddenly a voice boomed out from a small stand, as it spoke the crowd fell silent, only a few voices remained, giggling giddily like a child on their birthday.

The announcer bellowed, their voice echoing around the arena, introducing the contestants as they entered the vast, empty space beneath them. Both new fighters, the first seemed tiny, he was barely a spec to some of the further back spectators. He seemed to be cowering, trembling just beside the gate he was pushed through, he seemed terrified, unsure, lost...he was very different to the beast that followed from the opposite end of the pit. A monster entered the other gate, gnarling and biting at the Guards handling him. He was pushing against his restraints, like he was desperate to get to the fight, like all he craved was blood, he wanted to cause bleeding, he wanted to harm...to kill.

The crowds cheered, though as they compared the two half-bloods some began to jeer and laugh. They weren't gonna get their fight...but a massacre could be just as entertaining, well to some, when they saw the competition a couple viewers seemed uninterested so stood and left but the majority were just as excited. It was odd...these people, they sat staring down at this innocent soul who was going to die for their pleasure, and yet that day they'd go home to their families, to their children and they'd claim they had a nice day out. They witnessed murder, they encouraged it and they would live guilt free...this creature, he was barely as tall as them and yet they cheered for his death, not that he could hear them.

Timmy shook as he glanced around at the thousands of faceless people watching him from every angle. He barely had time to process the sheer amount of spectators when his attention was drawn to the other half-blood thay came thrashing into the arena right across from him. His initial reaction was to back away, to try and run but as he remembered he had nowhere to go he realised something about the monster ahead...he recognised that face, he didn't want to believe it, he didn't want it to be true, he prayed silently that he was wrong...but he knew it wasn't

Bodie...no it wasn't him, it may look exactly like him but those eyes, there was no 'Bodie' left behind them. The Malascythe had sunk in, the half-blood left lashing out infront of him wasn't the one who had cared for him so tenderly these past years, it wasn't the man who cooked for him or aided him when he was sick or hurt...this was a shell of that man. His body but no more of his self left in it.

He wanted to yell at Bodie, to yell for help, for them to go home...but he knew it was useless. Timmy tried to think of some way to communicate with him, to reach through to him but before he could come up with even a rough plan the announcers voice boomed once more...and Bodie was released.

Instantly the beast stormed across the field, within seconds he was where Timmy stood seconds before. Fortunately the young gator was speedy given his smaller size, so he was able to run from the attacker...but it didn't take long for the larger half-blood to follow, claws striking out, swinging wildly at Timmy. The noises from the crowd grew louder, the heat from the sun intensifying as the two sped in circles, all this only adding to the aggression of the predator...his prey growing tired and breathless

As Bodie caught up to him Timmy went against his senses and began to desperately yell, the terror in his voice undeniable as he kept skidding around the arena,

"Bodie!! Bodie it's me! It's Timmy! C'mon stop it! You're gonna hurt somebody, you wouldn't wanna do that!!!"

No reaction, nothing at all. No matter how much he yelled, how much he begged, Bodie didn't respond to him. He kept chasing and Timmy kept running...but he knew he couldn't keep it up forever. As their game of cat and mouse continued the crowds grew tense, the boy couldn't win by running, but if the beast couldn't catch him he couldn't kill him. Would he catch him? Would this ever end?!?! The cheers grew louder still and Timmys head began to pound, his legs were growing weak...but he couldn't stop...death was hot on his tail

...for Timmy the end was quick. One moment he was speeding away from certain doom, as he demanded Bodie return from his hazy state, he should've stayed focused on where his feet were taking him cause he ended up pushing himself into a corner. He couldn't run...and before he could even recognise what happened the monster caught him. The last thing he felt was the agonising piercing of claws digging into his neck. He dies withing moments of Bodie catching him...unfortunately for the squeamish members of the crowd it didn't end there. The beast tore the poor boy apart, it was a mess of claws, teeth, blood and flesh. Before anyone could do anything...all that remained were miniscule shreds of what was once a living boy

The crowds cheers fell on deaf ears, Bodie knew not what he had done, he knew nothing at the moment. He didn't feel a thing, even as the tranquiliser was sent through his system he felt nothing. He soon hit the floor as the crowds went back to talking amongst themselves, all these people, they just saw a life end and they felt nothing. Well...most of them felt nothing. There was one amongst them who just saw their entire world shatter infront of them. Bug had been talking with Marco when the two were first thrown into the arena, but as soon as they heard what was happening they ran into the crowd to keep an eye on things. They tried to stay calm, they tried not to draw attention to themself...but as they watched Timmys blood pour endlessly onto the group to join the stains which lay from previous failures they couldn't help but begin to silently weep in their seat.

☆---------------☆

It was a few hours before Bodie came round, his eyes groggily peeling open as he lay on the cold stone floor. He felt like death...his head was spinning and his limbs felt as though they'd been sawed off and lazily reattached. He tried to push himself off the floor...but that appeared to be too much for him, so he let himself remain there. He tried to think fo where he was...hiw the hell he ended up there, but nothing came to him, nothing made any sense

"...Bodie?"

His eyes spun around the room till his vision cleared enough for him to make out the shape of Bug leaning on the wall beside the gate to the...cell..he found himself in. He grumbled, he had tried to speak...but the words refused to come out, he made another attempt at standing and finally got onto his knees. He sat himself on the floor..though Bug seemed to be inching away from his as he did so

"I'm guessing you don't remember anything, do you-?"

"N- No, nothin's coming to me. What happened? We any closer to saving Timmy?"

Bug fell silent for a moment, their posture stiffening slightly as the words hit their ears. Tears were forming in their eyes at the mere mention of him...Bodie tried to think what happened, why was Bug so upset...but still he couldn't remember anything. Finally Bug spoke, their voice hushed..and broken

"The missions off Bodie...we can't save Timmy, there's nothing left to save..."

Once again Bug began to cry, though no noise came from them, only tears. Bodie tried to ask what they meant, he tried to ask them what was going on...but they couldn't find the words. Bodie called out to them, desperately yelling for answers but Bug didn't respond, they simply stared at the ground as the tears spilled.

Bodie just wanted answers, but that seemed to be the only thing he wasn't getting...really though...he knew what answer he would get. Timmy was gone...he could tell that much, he just wanted to know how, what happened. But Bug seemed so distraught, there was no way he could get answers whilst they were like this. Despite his entire body begging him not to, Bodie pulled himself onto his feet, ignoring the blood which dripped from his face. He wanted to offer comfort, to try and calm them...but ad soon as they saw him stand Bug shuffled away, almost falling in the process. Without a second thought they screamed at him,

"No!! Get away! Stay back there!! You monste-"

They fell silent, they tried to hide their panic, they tried to cover their words but it was too late. Bodie stared at them from his corner, he did something didn't he...he knew he had...but what...why were they so scared. Had he-? No...he would never...he couldn't have...killed Timmy-?

He looked at Bug, praying for some sign that he was wrong but as their eyes met they both knew....Bodie killed Timmy

"What..Bug...what happened-?"

They had to tell him, it wasn't fair for him to go on unaware of what happened...Timmy was dead and he deserved to know what happened

"Bodie...somebody...did something to you, I don't know what, I think they gave you something or some shit..but you, you...they threw you guys into the arena...you didn't even give him a chance..."

They fell silent once more, neither looking away from the other. As his face fell Bug wanted to hug him, to be near them, so they could comfort each other...but they couldn't go near him. It wasn't his fault...they knew it wasn't...but Bug had watched it happen. They saw Bodie tear Timmys head from his body...they saw the horrors...they couldn't get thay image out of their bead as they stared at the man across from them. Bodie was speaking...his voice was shaky, but Bug didn't care...they could barely hear what he was saying as the memory played on loop in their head

"Bug?"

They snapped back into the moment...Bodie stood there, his arms stretched out to them, offering a hug...all that Bug wanted at that moment

"Come on...it'll be alright"

They stared at him, but as they went to embrace him...they turned...they couldn't do this, they couldn't be near him right now...they walked to the door of his cell. Bodie would never do what he did, but he still did it, what were they meant to do? Just hug him and act as though it didn't happen?? No...they couldn't do this

They could hear Bodie speak behind them, but the words weren't reaching them. They stepped outside, and without a glance back...they left...and they never returned. Bug wanted to forgive, they wanted to forget...but they couldn't. So Bodie rotted away in the arena, fighting each day simply to survive, Marco attempted to help him but without Bugs support no approach seemed to work. So Bodie was never free, each day he though of Timmy...thought of the life he took...he never forgave himself. As for Bug? They were never seen again, where they went nobody knows...nobody even knows if they're still alive..they simply vanished.

...sometimes there really is no way to escape a bad situation...and by trying to help we sometimes just make things worse...alot worse

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Episode 3 of the Vampire Hunter Series got my emotions emotion-ing

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I fucking hate drawing

(Drawing is my primary & favourite hobby, I dedicate most of my days to it, without my drawings I feel like nothing, I dream of drawing, I love drawing)

No like I really fucking hate drawing

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Oh no it's Escaped Audio's evil twin!!!!

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...

...

Captured Film D:

(Please ignore this, I think my brain's abandoned me)

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Silly Announcement!!! :DD

So I made a separate tumblr for my audio channel! I decided it'd be better if I was able to organise all of them separately from my fan-rambling

So if you want announcements regarding the Rat Library, the characters or new audios I'd appreciate if you visited @the-rat-library !! ^^

I'm really happy about this! I feel so proud of what I've managed to do, whilst it might not be at the quality of the people I admire that's alright cause...I just started this lol

Anyways I'm working on stuff for both here and there so see ya soon :3

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Do you guys think Dork used to spend their free time coming up with silly scenarios in their head?

Like they would spend hours (when they weren't studying) just sat there staring into the distance as they fell into their imagination, sometimes it would be about people they knew...well a person they knewn, but alot of the time they just made up silly lil guys in their head and forced them to go on stupid adventures <3

However this wasn't just harmless fun, they did it to escape. Their life was a wreck, they were so focused on their studies they barely had anyone left in their life, they never spoke to anyone or went out anywhere, the only people they ever spoke to were their parents well I guess you could count the people that bullied them...but those weren't great talks. Their life was fucking ruined, and they were only a teen, what was the point in being here...why wait to grow old when they don't have anything to grow old for, they didn't have anyone to grow old for

They thought their life was meaningless, they had nothing, so they tried to forget their life by living through the lives of others. But no matter what they did everyday they were pushed back into their own pathetic excuse for a life and reminded by most of the people around them that they were nothing...that they'd never be anything...they could try and try but they'd never escape their truth

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Need to ramble again

(sorry feel like I say alot of negative shit, just don't have anywhere else to say it)

I fucking hate you, after everything you did to me you just get to go about your life as normal whilst I have to sit here and suffer the consequences

I can't go outside without feeling like everyone's judging me, I can't be in a relationship or a friendship without assuming they want...gross stuff from me, I assume nobody actually gives a shit they just see me the way you did, as something to use when they want me, I hate myself, I hate everyone and it's your fucking fault!!!

But you probably don't even remember me, you don't remember what you did to me, cause it didn't mean shit to you!!! It was just a few years you wasted on some fucking weirdo!! I was a waste of time to you and you were everything to me!! Even after what you did, you were my everything, it hurt when you left even after EVERYTHING YOU DID!!!

It's been two years, I should be over this, I should be over what you did...but I'm not. You hurt me, really fucking hurt me, you ruined me...and that meant nothing to you, it meant fuck all to you!!! Sometimes I wake up and can still feel your hands on me, I feel sick, I feel gross, and the worst part is i can't get rid of them, they're always there...and I'm scared that other can see them, that everyone I know is aware of what you did, and I'm scared they blame me...just like I do

I fucking hate you, I don't care if you change, I don't care if I should move on, you ruined my life and I hate you

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Meow

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I accidently called Bodie 'Dad' when talking to my friend yesterday...so here's Bug repeating my mistakes

There's totally not angst at the end...nah I'm so sweet..I would never do that :3

☆×.------------------------.×☆

"I'd be proud to have a kid like you"

☆---------------☆

Bug was...a bit off to say the least, the pain from their broken leg had gotten so bad that Bodie offered them a mix of herbs that wouldn't only relive some pain but also..ehm...distract them. So they were laying on Marcos bed, their healed leg hanging slightly off it as they stared at the ceiling, those bloody herbs had made them feel so distant yet so bloody emotional, they'd never had this many thoughts and feelings before. Their mind began to drift to where they were, they'd been here for a while, they'd been in Bodies care for quite some time and they couldn't help but feel some sort of love towards him. Not the ooey crush sort of love, but a familiar sort of love, like he's cared for them since they were young, as though they'd known him forever, they'd always admired him. Bug spent hours laying there, memories of their childhood flashed through their head...except it wasn't them and their parents...it was Bodie there instead, they tried to shrug it off as some herb induced weird dream but deep down they knew there was something deeper to these weird ass thoughts

Before they could think through what their thoughts meant a large figure entered the room:

"How you doin' Bug? Leg still botherin' you?"

Bugs eyes lazily fell from the ceiling onto the gator that came into view, a small smile creeped onto their face as they shook their head...well almost, they didn't really move much but Bodie seemed to understand

"That's good, Timmy said he'd come by later to check on you so I'm going off for a bit. D'you need anything before I go?"

They pushed up against the bed frame in an attempt to sit, as they managed to get up they tilted their head slightly, thinking for a moment before responding, due to the herbs though speaking was a bit...difficult,

"Hmm no don't ink so!"

"A'right guess I'll be going then, if anything happens just shout, should be able to hear you"

Bodie made his way back to the door and as he pushed it open he froze as Bug yelled from their resting place

"'anks Dad! See you la-"

It took them both a moment to realise what Bug had said, but as soon as they noticed Bug felt like a complete idiot. Their head fell into their hands as they felt themself burn up slightly, they tried to mumble out an apology but their word were still sloppy so it wasn't very...understandable. They kept grumbling into their hands till they felt the bed underneath them shift as Bodie sat beside them, a rough hand placed om their shoulder, their hands remained up as a shield for their face as Bodie began to speak,

"It was a...simple mistake Bug, no need to be embarrassed"

He chuckled slightly yet Bug still refused to show their face, so Bodie decided to change his tone slightly

"Y'know...I wouldn't mind having you as my kid, if anything I'd be proud to have a kid like you"

He smiled down at them as Bug slowly moved their hands from their eyes, they stared up at him, a slight smile returning to their face as Bodies hand moved from their shoulder to wrap gently around them

"...really?"

"Of course Bug, I'm proud of you even if you ain't my kid"

They smiled up at him before resting their head on his shoulder, he held them for a minute, feeling a need deep in his heart to protect the young person. They may not be related by blood but in his eyes this was his child, he loved them and he'd care for them for as long as he could

...

...

...

...turns out he wouldn't have to care for them for much longer...

Bodie now sat, once again on Marcos bed, a dull Bug laying beside him. Blood stained their entire being, their eyes were barely open as they gazed wearily up at him, they could barely move as they felt gallons of blood pouring from their body yet they were still smiling

Bodie was frantically trying to patch up their wounds, there had been a huge accident as they tried to save Timmy, they had all gotten out...but Bug wasn't doing too well. Their leg was gone and they were covered head to heel in gashes. Their life was fading right there, Bodie could see them leaving him, he could see them go, it shattered his heart...yet he couldn't let himself give up yet

"Don't worry Bug, you're gonna be alright, I'm gonna make sure you're alright"

Bug smiled weakly up at him, they let out a sigh as their hand struggled to reach his but when it finally did they began to speak, their voice quiet and trembling

"It's okay...Timmy made it back..we did it...are...are you proud of me...Dad?"

They chuckled...well breathed in a laugh-ey manner causing Bodie to smile slightly, he could tell it was too late, they both knew there wasn't anything they could do, they just had to accept that...Bug was going to go soon...they couldn't stop it. With tears in his eyes Bodie stopped wrapping them up to gently cup their face,

"Of course I am Bug...I'm so proud...so proud to have a kid like you"

With that Bugs eyes fell shut, their breathing stopped...and they were gone. Bodie felt their life leave the room, he felt all the joy he'd had in their time together vanish in that moment their body remained but Bug was long gone. He held their face, their time together may not have been long but he'd cared for them, like he cared for Timmy, they were his child....and now they were gone

He held them gently, like a fragile flower as he stared at the them. His smile remained as he gently kissed their forehead and lay them back on the bed. He'd lay them in the ground to rest soon...but for now he had to leave, he couldn't bear to see this anymore. Even though they'd passed Bodie knew for the rest of his days he'd be proud of them, even as they faded from his memory he'd be proud of them, and in his dying days he'd keep his pride for them close to his heart. They were his child and he was extremely proud of them

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hey (with the intention of laying under the stars with you)

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Ignore the fact it took me over 2 months to post again- vocal dysphoria had me in a chokehold :(

The Rat Library Is Back!!!! ^^

The Runaway Prince [<- Link!]

I absaloutly adore royal listeners, I'm not sure why but they have such a death grip on me. I see a Royal Listener video and I cannot stop myself from watching it!!!!

Anyways this is fun, and I'm hoping to get a bit more consistent with uploads-

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My little brother just joined tumblr!!! (Incase any of my moots were wondering who the stranger that followed them was-)

That's it, he just wanted me to introduce him lol

- @inde-penguin-t my tiny little brother ☆

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Grian's Episode 3 of Wild Life today gave me severe heart palpitations equivalent to what I get watching a horror film

But that mining trip! BOI that mining trip WAS a horror film

So...

I made something for that

A quick sketch of Gary the Snail looming ominously by that mine entrance

If I have time I wanna make this digital cause I have a vision...oh do I have a vision for this