#an APPLIED SCIENCE degree!
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trying to figure out timing for comms in the future
#idk how much to charge by the hour for rendering because my standards are so low from applying to science jobs lol#16/hr CAD for extremely high-responsibility jobs that require a bachelors degree and 5 years of experience. suck my fucking ass.
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Hi loves I only have $109 in my account after buying groceries yesterday…
I’m waiting to hear back from jobs still. My only source of income currently is from online surveys & that does not add up to much at all.
Any help (tips, reblogs etc) in getting by until I land a job is extremely appreciated!
Venmo: @Grubcore
Ko-fi: grubcore (you can look through some of my art on here!)
#ebegging#I’m canceling all my future therapy appointments bc I can’t afford them rip#groceries and subway fares are pretty much all I’m buying#HOPEFULLY I’ll hear back from some jobs I applied to soon but idk I’ve been searching for months with no luck 🫠#hard to get a job in NYC it’s so competitive even for min wage ones & i don’t have a degree#not glitter text#all my work experience is specific to environmental science n it’s impossible to find *paid* work like that in nyc without a degree at least#it’s all park volunteering I need something that pays & I don’t have to stand to do (POTS syndrome)#disabled trans college dropout problems
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i wish i could hire someone to make decisions for me i hate this so muchhhh
#comment down below should i get an art sciences degree or just keep applying for cultural jobs in the hope of someday getting one#with my english degree#pro: fun degree#con: no income and another 3 years of uni#and all my friends have jobs which makes me feel behind
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evening/night boop! (how are you doing?)
morning boop! (i've lost track of the time whoops!)
I'm doing well! have a cat butt!
#replies#uygfiug#not my cat but he is when i'm there lmaoooo#my friend's cat his name is Witcher! he's very cuddly!#the more allergic to cats you are the more he wants to cuddle with you!#to the chagrin of the friend of said friend who often comes by for video games with us#i uh. may have impulsively submitted an application to a communitiy college.#i haven't taken college classes in 8 years haha#but i was like ok i have a BS in art but what if i got an AS in forensic science huh#wouldn't that be cool#i'm just out here about to start collecting degrees orz#also can i even pay for it? even if it's part time?#financial aid save me#fuck if i'm gonna apply for another damn loan after i just paid my last one off#ANYWAYS got into a new video game and it's eating at my brain but at least i've got some great art inspo coming in#i never stay in a fandom for long which is why i never publish any of my fics bc i'm in a new fandom before i can even finish the fic lmaooo#i hope you're doing well! i think ur classes started up again?#gl and take care of yourself!#take breaks and eat and all that u know how it is
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i really and truly believe that there are only two genuine human superpowers, both of which can be actively cultivated:
the ability to find anything interesting, ie the ability to reframe and reflect on any situation or encounter, even/especially negative or boring ones, so as to make what is happening to you interesting, engaging, and personally meaningful to your human experience. this habit of mind is mostly curiosity but it's also woven through with psychological flexibility, especially the ability to regulate your own emotional reactions so that you can respond to challenging or tedious situations in more thoughtful and values-aligned ways that develop your sense of self instead of making you feel trapped or bored or fragmented
the ability to teach yourself new things. idk maybe as a teacher i am biased but i really believe that the single most transformative gift you can give any human being is a deep understanding of how people learn and improve at things. what is more hopeful, more inspiring, or more life-affirming than the realization that you can learn new things at any age, and that the new things you learn (plus the joyful process of learning itself!) can utterly transform the way you experience the world and understand yourself? what is more amazing or incredible than the realization that learning things is not a mysterious & passive process that happens to you but a reasonably consistent set of steps and tools that you can learn how to master and apply to virtually any skill or domain of human knowledge? the superpower of being able to learn/improve at anything you set your mind to… but also the superpower inherent in that quiet unwavering certainty that even if you feel stuck at various points in your life, you have within yourself the capacity to get unstuck through learning and changing and growing and experiencing new things. wowowowowowowow!!!!! what an extraordinary gift!!!!
#i did a classroom observation this week#in a mid-level environmental science research methods course#and at other points in my life i would've been either bored stiff by this experience or terrified because Science Is Hard#and I Am Humanities Person Cannot Do Science#but i actually found myself getting really fascinated by some of the stuff they were doing#i think combined with all the scientific studies i've been reading over the past six months related to fertility stuff#and i was like oh wait like#i could see myself going back and doing a bachelor's degree in a science field#like yeah this is unfamiliar to me & i have a lot of baggage around being Bad at STEM#but actually through doing lots of work with researchers & learning how research works in my own field#i think i've absorbed an understanding of some of the habits of mind science values#and i feel confident enough in my understanding of how people learn new things#that i bet i could apply that knowledge to learning disciplines that previously seemed Off Limits to me#anyway idk just#what a joy it is to be a thinking learning human in the world#how lucky are we!!!!!
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Despairing a little about the state of my master's thesis. It could have been so good if I hadn't stopped caring. I keep losing interest when it is one of my favourite topics and one I chose a year in advance. More guidance would have helped me a lot. Someone who showed they cared and would have made me work on it, too. (I am so bad at doing things if there is no extrinsic motivation. Sometimes I feel lost like a dog that needs a task and attention.) And a better work ethic. A better research question. The thesis feels so random, and I am not qualified for the discussion. Two weeks left, the most important intellectual part still missing. I hate this. One paper in your time studying has to be your worst, but why does it have to be the final one?
#i am so ready to leave science for good#i hate it i am not fit for it i am not interested in it#personal log#uni#my bachelor's thesis was so good though#and like a master's thesis already according to supervisor no. 2#straight as all throughout school. 1.29 in my bachelor's degree. 1.4something in the master's programme despite covid. and now this.#with this thesis i could write so much about the area in general. about heathland and practices. but i can't seem to apply any of the#knowledge to my data and i am not even researching anymore
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I got the exact same grade on my physics test im so tired, i asked about 3 questions on the test and the teacher was as clueless as i was
#i dont want to but i may just apply for a commerce in aviation degree instead#Im so fucking sick of online courses#Id rather do science cause i do not care about business but these online classes are fucking killing me#i have like a 95% in english 12 and thats the only requirement for the commerce degree
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I can't believe people try to claim nursing isn't a STEM field
#prereqs: bio + anatomy + microbio + algebra and depending on the school also chemistry + pharmacology#degree plan: associate of applied health science OR ASN OR bachelors of science in nursing#literally science is right there in the fucking title like why is it seen as a separate thing?#according to my advisors and teachers its fucking not it literally is a STEM major and qualifies me to apply for STEM specific projects#like i can only guess people want to deny that nursing is a science because they are fucking misogynists or hate their specific nurse#sorry im just having flashbacks to when i got in an argument with someone saying it Isnt part of STEM#and then i googled it to be sure i wasnt tripping and google was like ''nah its not STEM''#its. science. lmao#idk i guess i got an ego boost from that like. im a woman in STEM. 😎
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Well guess who's officially applied to Erasmus. I'm not even fully done uploading all relevant documents and I'm already kinda regretting it. I will HATE myself for this next winter.
I'm not really doing it for the courses (they all somehow seem easier than what mine is offering) but for the french, but it'd be awkward if I misjudged things completely and this is all worthless to my degree because I already learned it in the bac.
#on the other hand - easy classes means more free time. not an experience I've ever had during the semester#I'm also stupidly paranoid bc I'll be Old Tm (a whopping 24) by that time (still younger than most ppl in my degree bc school system)#but the french system seems like it's more doing the schoolish thing where most ppl manage in min time (very rare here) and are thus younge#at least my first ranked place seems like that. “institute of applied sciences” is not “university of technology” after all#personal#erasmus
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sent an email to a university i want to go to ahhhh
#I really want to do this political science program but I learned about it too late and the deadline to start in January was last week ahhhh#I really hope they let me submit a late application I'm crying ujfhgjsdklgh#I've been working in retail for like 2-3 years with a physiology degree bc I hate the jobs in that field#so I really want to just start my life over again from scratch but it's sooooo scary ahhhhhhhh#I already applied to my local university to start poli sci in January though so all is not lost but this other program is so good !!
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every day i barely restrain the urge to bitch about the social sciences
#☢️.txt#listen. all of the fields under this umbrella are legitimate and worth studying#but trying to group them with mainline stem is. silly at best#ppl always turn this into a 'hard vs soft sciences' thing but like. its not that!#im gonna be honest before i took higher level social science classes i didnt think much about this but like. the social sciences#place huge emphasis on the subjective nature of things and imho that goes against the very core philosophy of the natural + logical science#and like. that methodology WORKS for these fields. history benefits from a degree of subjectivity#but social 'scientists' always get pissed off that natural and logical scientists DONT consider that valid#in our fields!!! god the amount of social 'scientists' who insert themselves into physics discussions#using extremely complex aspects of quantum mechanics to justify themselves#while half of them bitch about being expected to know stats. is absurd#im gonna be real i think ppl are attached to the term social sciences bc they think thats the only way for those fields to be taken#seriously and like. thats the fucking problem isnt it????#you want fields outside of STEM proper to be taken seriously but you continually reinforce this idea by insisting#fields like history and sociology Have to be sciences in the same way as biology and mathematics#and instead of accepting that. youre the humanities its fine its literally fucking fine#you do stuff that scientists dont do. bc science alone cannot answer every single question people have#the naturalistic + objectivist worldview is very good in certain contexts! but it has faults!#and the same applies to the philosophies behind social sciences!#you cannot use the techniques in anthropology in physics and vice versa. its fucking fine#also humanities people need to stop craving approval from STEM people its so.#you are reinforcing the cycle youre pissed off about
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I read "The End of Everything (Astrophysically Speaking)" by Katie Mack (of Hozier fame, of course), and it made me feel really stupid. This is a "pop" science book that, for all its complicated cosmology, it meant to be digestible to common lay men like me. But, man. My brain just could not grasp it.
I don't think it's Mack's fault. If I read a paragraph, I could summarize what it was saying. It was when concept A had to be combined with concept B that I felt all comprehension slip through my fingers. I would read the same page thrice, hoping that it would become clearer the closer attention I paid to it. But, nope. Water through a sieve.
My problem is that as an adult, I am starting to regret how fiercely I avoided taking rigorous STEM classes as a kid. While I was okay at math, I could never grasp science. I did everything in my power to take the easy science classes from middle school, high school, then college professors who weren't really trying to make me learn something.
Doing so kept my grade point average up, but as an adult, I'm realizing how little I understand how the world works. I have friends who can give mini-lectures about the types of clouds in the sky or how nutrients in food works, and so on. Me? I can talk about science and technology from the perspective of the humanities (a great example would be the intersection of racism and technology, as described in Ruha Benjamin's "Race After Technology," which I highly recommend), but I don't truly understand how the world works.
I've been a bit desperate to expand my knowledge as of late. I've even come close to buying an algebra workbook so that I can work on my math skills again.
I picked Mack's book because I love space and learning about stars and planets. It turned out to be more complicated than I had originally anticipated.
I'll try rereading it again at some point, hopefully when I've learn a bit more about science first. In the meantime, I can at least appreciate the times when Mack's speculation about how the universe works and how it will end turned philosophical. There were enough moments of poetics that I could appreciate right now, at least.
Kids, don't be like me. Take your damn science classes seriously.
#it's actually really funny how i managed to go through my whole academic career without needing to take science seriously#i will say that my interest in space was helped by a very easy and enjoyable astronomy class I took in college#the thing is that I think I could have gotten good at it if I just applied myself (especially math) but I hated doing anything I wasn't#good at from the get go and I believed that it wasn't worth my time getting into STEM when I would be up against people who seemed to be#naturally good at it. like once i hit college I really realized that as long as I studied well I would always do better than those who#blatantly did not give a shit but at that point it was too late for me and I was committed to my english degree#SIGH I SHOULD HAVE GONE TO COMMUNITY COLLEGE FIRST#me rambling#me reading#the end of everything#the end of everything by katie mack#bookblr#books
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Hotch: There are lots of ways that sons defeat their fathers The Husband: I just keep getting PHDs
Besties My Husband has 3 PHDs and I might fuck around and get 2 masters lmao @anything-thats-rock-and-roll @penelopegarciaswife @thebewingedjewelcat @octaviaember @residentdormouse
#the professor on campus who specializes in getting autistic people hired in the tech field who I wrote about in my application to my program#is doing a research class on the topic this fall and I'm taking it. her discipline is in information management instead of library science#but the parts of library science that I'm interested in are the organization and database parts of it#all digital humanities librarianship is is conserving data of really cool aspects of art literature and philosophy#which is something I still want to do#but I also want to look into some intro classes in her field next quarter to see if I want to apply and get a duel master's degree#because all this woman does all day is work with computers and data which is what I want to do and cybersecurity sounds super fucking cool#I just didn't apply to her disciplines program bc I was worried it would involve too much math
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absolutely so fucked that i and no one i know can get a job without knowing someone in the company or industry. like even entry-level, no experience retail jobs. i need every hiring manager in this country to violently explode
#my grandfather was telling me how sad he is for my mom and i#because when he was younger they would just hire you and teach you everything you needed to know. no experience no college needed#my mom applied for 80 jobs over two months. she did not get a single one. she has a very good resume so that was not the issue here.#and i don't understand why?? why do they want people to have 10+ years experience to do very basic jobs that do NOT take much training??#who is this benefiting?? what changed?#first it was “no one wants to work” now it's “if you don't have a degree and 15 years of experience you need to literally kill yourself”#it's shit like stocking or answering phone calls and the like. we're not doing fucking rocket science#maybe this is just in texas. i have no idea#anyway stay strong retail and food service nation 🫡
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I found the 2nd master degree I need to then get to the PhD in the field I'd like and the name is hilarious : miashs
#its in french so dont bother guessing lol#applied maths to social and humanities sciences AND IT LOOKS SO COOL#its linked to my bachelor degree field and with my cs degree#yes basically its data rendering and modelisation#ofc now that im between jobs it HAD to be when school year had starter so id have to wait till oct 2023#WHICH SUXX#anyway idk if ill ever get to study this but its a nice idea 💡#beside i need a master in maths just to rub this in the face of all my teachers who told me i would never make it#cassy.txt
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I feel like so many people don’t get that learning, just for the sake of learning, can still be a hobby
#not every hobby have to be out creating or applying#knowledge is still valuable even when you don’t have a degree in it#learning is so so magical and so fun#and the world is so big and wide#and there are always so much to learn#I’m getting emotional#learning#knowledge#science#studyblr#studyinspo#stemblr
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