#I really want to do this political science program but I learned about it too late and the deadline to start in January was last week ahhhh

[granitxhka]

sent an email to a university i want to go to ahhhh

[racefortheironthrone]

Kinda of random but what do you think of Alan's Moore comments about people liking comic book movies could lead into fascism? Seems like bitter old man territory but what do you think?

I think it's fair to say that fascism has been something of an obsession of Alan Moore's and a recurring although not omnipresent theme in many of his works.

While Miracleman is technically an expy of Captain Marvel, I would argue that the series is Moore's most extended commentary on Superman instead and especially the idea of the ubermensch. In Miracleman, our protagonist is initially thought to have been made into a superhero by a benevolent enlightened scientist, but eventually we learn that Miracleman is the product of an Operation Paperclip Nazi science project called the Zarathusa Project designed to create the literal Nietzschean Ubermensch, complete with a fixation on "blond gods" and a eugenicist breeding program. A superhero fight in the midle of London causes mass civilian casualties on the scale of an atomic bomb going off. Ultimately, Miracleman effectively overthrows Thatcher's government and rules as an enlightened despot before eventually leaving Earth for space.

Likewise, I think Watchmen is Moore's most extended commentary on masked vigilantism and thus on Batman. In Watchmen, the phenomenon of vigilantism is repeatedly associated with right-wing politics: Hooded Justice is a German circus strongman who has pro-Nazi politics; Captain Metropolis wanted his superhero teams to target "black unrest," "campus subversion," and "anti-war demos;" and the Comedian is a brutal nihilist who ultimately joins the U.S security state where he cheerfully follows orders to assassinate JFK and Woodward and Bernstein, commit atrocities in Vietnam, kill protesting hippies, etc. Finally, there's Rorschach, Moore's most famous mis-interpreted creation - Rorschach is a paranoid conspiracy theorist who's an anti-communist, anti-liberal, militant and militaristic nationalist, homophobe, misogynist, and avid follower of the John Birch Society-like New Frontiersman.

And then there's V for Vendetta, which I would argue is Moore's attempt to create a masked vigilante superhero with his own anarchist politics. In this story, the vigilante isn't a crimefighter but rather a revolutionary who seeks the overthrow of a fascist state and the creation of an anarchist utopia.

Moreover, his more recent comments about comic book movies being linked to fascism are arguably just part of his much longer-running commentary that superheroes as a concept are at the very least proto-fascist.

Having read a lot of Moore's work and interviews on the subject, I don't find his critique compelling. I think his definition of fascism is far too loose, I think his lens on the superhero genre is overly narrow, and I think his mode of analysis tends to neglect the vital area of historical context.

Definitions

So let's start with Moore's definition of fascism. I think Moore tends to really over-emphasize the whole idea of the Nietzschean ubermensch and the use of force to solve problems, and more recently he's been on this weird kick of saying that nostalgia and a childlike desire for easy solutions leads to fascism. I have several problems with this definition:

the first is that, as I've talked about in the past, fascism is a very complex historical phenomenon that can't be boiled down to a single idea, and in particular the idea of the ubermensch is a pretty small part of the German case (and even then how do you balance it against Nazism's more anti-individualistic aspects, like the mass party and the mass party organization).

the second is that the idea of a larger-than-life individual using physical prowess to solve problems is not unique to fascism. After all, during the 30s, you also had the Soviet Union promoting the heroic ideal of Stakhanovitism and the depiction of the heroic male factory worker in socialist realism. More importantly, the idea of a "larger-than-life individual using physical prowess to solve problems" is basically the same description for any number of literary figures from pulp cowboys to the Greek heroes of the Iliad and the Oddessy to the epic of Gilgamesh.

the third is that I think Moore's definition overlooks the actual drivers of the rise of contemporary fascism. Anti-semitism, racism, homophobia and transphobia, misogyny - all of these are real social and cultural forces that are actually motivating people to join the ranks of the alt-right, to commit massacres, to riot at the Capitol, and so forth. It is incredibly self-involved to think that superheroes and superhero movies are worth discussing in the same breath. At the end of the day, they're harmless entertainment compared to the real political issues that need to be tackled.

Moore's Model of Superheroes

Here's where I'm going to say something that's going to be a bit controversial - I don't think Alan Moore has read widely enough in the superhero genre to make an accurate assessment of its relationship to fascism. If we look at his comics work, and we look at his writings, and we look at his interviews, Moore's mental model of the superhero really only includes two figures, Superman as the representative of the superpowered ubermensch and Batman as the representative of the masked vigilante crimefighter. Notably, Moore hasn't really touched the last of the Big Three - Wonder Woman, a superhero with a strong legacy of radical left-wing politics. I do think we have to mention, given Moore's somewhat troubled history when it comes to issues of gender, that Moore's model of the superhero doesn't include any female superheroes (or for that matter, any superheroes of color or queer superheroes). (EDIT: I should clarify - Promethea is Moore's version of Wonder Woman, but she doesn't really come up in his discussions of fascism, and her thematic profile has more to do with Moore's interests in magic.)

And other than Captain Britain, Moore never worked with any Marvel character and basically ignores them.

To me, this is like having a career as a painter and never working with colors. Moore's model of the superhero leaves out the Fantastic Four and how their flawed psychologies revolutionized the industry and the whole idea of the superhero-as-explorer, it leaves out Spider-Man and the idea of the superhero-as-everyman whose central struggle is about work-life balance and altruism, and most importantly it leaves out the X-Men and the idea of the mutant metaphor.

If as a critic you're going to make grand pronouncements about something as morally evil as fascism, I think it really is incumbent on you to have read and analyzed widely rather than cherry-picking a couple of case studies. Especially if you have something of a tendency to mis-characterize those case studies by ignoring historical context.

Historical Context

So let's talk about Superman and Batman and their emergence in the 1930s. One vital bit of context is that the U.S experienced a significant crime wave in the 1920s and 1930s as Prohibition encouraged the rise of organized crime and then the Great Depression spurred the rise of kidnapping and bank robbery gangs. Moreover, municipal police forces tended to be wildly corrupt, accepting bribes from organized crime to let them operate with impunity, while not letting up in the slightest in their brutal oppression of workers and minorities.

In this context, I think the idea of vigilantism - while it has an undeniably racist legacy dating back to Reconstruction - is not purely a conservative phenomena. It's also an expression of a desire for help from somebody, anybody when the powers that be are of no help. And at the end of the day, unsanctioned use of force can equally be traced back to left-wing self-defense efforts from the Panthers back to the Communist Party's streetfighting corps to unions packing two-by-fours on the picket line - so I don't think we can simply equate punching a bad guy with racist lynch mobs and call it a day.

So let's talk about Superman and the ubermensch. I think Moore has a bad tendency to focus on his nightmare scenrio of a godlike being tyrannizing and destroying hapless humanity, while minimizing the actual ideas of Siegel and Shuster. He tends to take their use of the Nietzschean as a straighforward invocation instead of the clear subversion it was intended to be - rather than a blond god who imposed tyrannical rule with horrific violence, Siegel and Schuster made their Superman a dark-haired Moses allegory, who rather than solely fighting crime acted to stop wife-beaters, war profiteers, and save the life of death row inmates, and whose secret identity was of a crusading journalist who uncovered corrupt politicians.

To be fair, Alan Moore admits that Superman started out as "very much a New Deal American” - but because this kind of does near-fatal damage to his argument, he quickly minimizes that by saying that Superman got co-opted and thus it doesn't count. This is some No True Scotsman bullshit - Moore knows that his example just imploded so he tries to wriggle out of it by arguing that Superman sold out to the Man. If we go back to the actual historical evidence, we can see that at the outset of the Red Scare, the Superman radio show went on a crusade against the Klan, and throughout the conservative 1950s, Superman was used to propagandize liberal values of religious and racial equality:

So much for selling out.

On the other hand, Batman is a tougher case, given that his whole deal is being a masked vigilante who wages an unending war on crime to avenge his murdered parents. So is Batman an inherently fascist figure, a wealthy sadist who spends his time brutally beating the poor and the mentally ill when he could be using his riches to tackle social issues? I would argue that this version of Batman is actually pretty recent - very much a legacy of the work of Frank Miller and then the post-9/11 writings of Christopher Nolan, Johnathan Nolan, and David Goyer - and that there have been many different Batmen with very different thematic foci.

For example, the early Batman was as much a figure of horror as he was of superheroics - he fought Frankensteins and Draculas, he killed with silver bullets, etc. Then in the 40s and 50s, you got the much more cartoony and light-hearted Batman who pretty much exclusively fought equally oddball supervillains in such a heightened world of riddles and giant pennies and mechanical T-Rexes that I don't think you can particularly describe it as "crime-fighting." Then in the 1960s, you have the titanic influence of the Batman TV show, where Adam West as Batman was officially licensed by the Gotham P.D (so much for vigilantism) and extolled the virtues of constitutional due process and the Equal Pay Act in PSAs and episodes alike. You can call the 1966 Batman a lot of things, but fascist isn't one of them.

Conclusion

I want to emphasize at the end of the day that I'm a huge Alan Moore fan; I've read most of his vast bibliography, I find him a fascinating if very odd thinker and critic, I've even tried to read his mammoth novel Jerusalem (which is not easy reading, let me tell you). At the same time, it's important not to treat creators, even the very titans of the medium, as incapable of error. And in this case, I think Alan Moore is simply wrong about fascism and superheroes and people should really stop asking him about it, because I don't think he has anything new to say about it.

[ink-stained-clouds]

A studyblr (re)introduction

It's hard to believe, but I started this blog in high school and I just graduated college. Since then, a lot has changed so I thought it might be time for an updated introduction

✨ The Basics ✨

Name: Inky (not really, but my legal name is very uncommon)

Pronouns: she/her

Program of study: PhD in Sociology (I'll be starting in August!)

Academic interests: political extremism, online interaction, identity, sociological and psychological theories of identity and group processes

Non-academic interests: reading (these days mostly mysteries/thrillers, AsAm lit, occasionally fantasy), cooking, and painting

A little more about me :)

As far as academics go, I've mostly done qualitative research but am starting to learn STATA and how to scrape data from social media sources. In the future, I want to work in research and I'd love to teach but the academic job market sure is icky so we will see lmao

Outside of academics, I used to be a lot more creative than I am these days but I am slowly trying to change that. I took up painting this year and am trying to get back into creative writing. I come from a big city and currently live in a much smaller area so I also like finding new places to go/things to do in my area like local fairs and mom and pop antique shops to explore

You can also find me here, on the book/studygram my friends roped me into (and that I have come to enjoy making silly little videos for)

If you're new to my blog hi, hello :) it's nice to meet you. on this blog you will find your average study content with some anti-grind culture seasoning (we are not about working ourselves to death here, folks). outside of academic content, you may also find yourself subjected to my study break tag, political posts, and my occasional musings (under inky speaks)

Come fall, you'll start hearing about my adventures in grad school. I am also slowly learning to manage my chronic health problems on top to school/work and those experiences may make it into the mix too

I am always looking for new blogs to follow, especially if you're a fellow social science person or a gradblr so please don't hesitate to say hi!

- Inky

[izicodes]

Don't know if you've touched on this topic before, but do you have any advice on dealing with discrimination within comp sci (specifically sexism)? I have bad anxiety and have constant thoughts telling me how I'll never be good enough or don't belong. My brother who is a senior dev has had a passion for computers since a small child while I just developed an interest within the past two years. My family takes his career seriously but then turn around and tell me how great of a secretary I'll be lol. Thanks for your time!

Hiya 💗

Just some background on me: I haven't had any sexist experiences in during my whole journey of learning software development during my apprenticeship and now working as a Junior Web Dev. I'm the only girl in the Dev team (6 of us in total), the only other woman is the Manager of the Dev team but she does databases + business oriented work so she doesn't code at all. I'm the youngest in the team also so they see me as "oh let's teach the kid of the group" kind of thing. So at work I don't feel any type of sexism, the lads are really open to teach me a lot stuff which I am thankful!

I don't know any other irl developers besides work so I'll move on to online. Online I know a lot more women developers; Tumblr, YouTube, Instagram and Twitter (or X whatever it's called). Maybe it's because I've like cultured the content I see to them idk. I'm really glad to have that constantly on my timeline as it inspires me to push and do/become better because if those girlies can do it, so can I.

Though all the teachers/instructors I had were all men, they didn't make me feel small or not worthy to be in Computer Science, they were the opposite and pushed me to do it more. My Dad did Computer Science with CyberSecurity at university and he always pushed me to do computer science when I got older - not force but inspired me to do it (wanted to do medicine but too hard so switched to comp sci/programming)!

So, in my experience, I never had a really bad sexist interaction because I did computer science. People are shocked I am in programming in general but more like "Oooooh that's cool! Didn't know you did that!" kind of thing!

Now, this doesn't mean I haven't seen sexist remarks online, because I have but more through memes. I always ignore. Everyone, man or woman, should ignore such remarks/meme and move on. Don't let a bunch of people determine what you want and what's best for you! If you did, they would be controlling your life and not you yourself.

I don't know if that's easier said than done for you because I'm a hard person on people saying bad things to me. I just ignore you literally. I'm polite yes, but what you will say to me will go through one ear and out the other if it's really negative. Pretty much a "I don't care about your opinion, I will do me anyways" kind of person. E.g. if my brothers were to tell me "oh you a girl, don't do computer science" I won't listen to them at all.

And at the end of the day, what are they gonna do? Will your family members that are saying those stuff to you physically stop you from learning computer science? Especially since it's so accessible online so all you need a is a computer? All around the world, women are leaning computer science one way or another to change their lives and/or the lives around them.

They are making so much effort so for me to say "oh well.. you know some lads in my comp sci class say I can't do comp sci so I shouldn't" or "oh well I don't think learning programming is a woman's thing yknow because it's so dominated by men" - excuse my language here but that's flipping ridiculous!

This isn't some feminist or even anti-feminist thing here, it's a plain simple human thing: proving yourself and even the people around you wrong. Go into it and succeed. You're not too old or too young.

Why are their programs like SheCodes or BGIT (black girl in tech) that are making effort to help women push into tech? There's more women in tech now than there has been ever so if you're a woman and want to go into Tech but some lads are saying no? Do it anyways.

If a company has lads like that in them, that's the company's fault for hiring a sexist non-team player - says a lot about that company.

As humans we are never good enough so just get that out of your mind, less stress. Good enough for a job? all you got to do is keep going out it. Keep learning the theory, keep building the projects, keep redoing your resume and applying for jobs - keep going.

You quit, you let yourself down - especially when programming/ computer science is your calling!

I went on a bit of a rant but I hope some of this helps 🥳👍🏾💗

[sixofcrowdaydreams]

Wylan's Dsylexia in Fanfic...

Where are the fanfics that go into detail about Wylan's inability to read? Because most of what I've read so far largely erases or at least doesn't really discuss his disability...

I want to read about Wylan's experiences struggling to learn to read. His anxiety every time there's words in front of him. Repulsion towards books and his own self loathing for being intimidated by such a mundane object.

I want to read about descriptions of what he sees when he looks at text. Do words and letters float away, tangle in messy amalgamations until he can't recognize the shape of individual words, much less a single letter? Do letters or words vanish? Do his eyes simply gloss over letters and just not acknowledge them as words the same way other people look at a toddler's scribbles? Does he loath where math and science meet literacy when he calculates variables (2*y=4)? Does he have to make himself focus to even recognize the variable (and even then does that y in the example above change into an x or an n halfway through the problem and will he even notice if it does)?

Does Wylan know the alphabet? Is the alphabet always linear, when A is first and Z comes last? Or does he know in theory that A is first and Z comes last, but his reality is that all of the letters line up in whatever order they want in between? Can he recognize individual letters by themselves? Or does the shape of a single letter twist and bend unrecognizably?

Can Wylan read common sight words? Can he recognize his name in print? Can he write his name? Can he draw his name instead of writing it if he treats the letters like any other line or curve on his sketchpad?

And those are just questions for canon! What about his inability to read in a modern AU setting where basic literacy is a required skill in daily life? (if your answer is: He just uses a screen reader, so it's like he doesn't have a disability that impacts him daily at all then I'm going to punch a wall! That's such an ableist solution.)

If Wylan's in high school or college, is he in a remedial literacy class? Do his friends or peers know it's a remedial class or is it politely called some type of tutoring or private study? Does he have an official dyslexia diagnosis or does his father refuse to have him tested and teachers simply tell him to try harder? Do the teachers know and have an IEP (Individualized Learning Program) or support items for him? Or do his teachers not care because there's 30 other kids in his class alone and half the school needs an IEP, or is the teacher just an asshole? Do audiobooks of all his math/science/ music theory textbooks even exist? There's a so factors to take into considerations about his experience in a school AU and yet so rarely I've seen these questions addressed, much less explored.

I want to read about Wylan's experience with encountering moments requiring literacy that are so mundane that no one else thinks twice about them but are still obstacles to him. Like buying groceries -- he's only making purchasing decisions based on photos on the packaging because he's sure not reading the labels. Heck, any store. He doesn't know what half of the stores he passes are selling unless he can look inside their windows because he can't read the store name. Purchasing something using a card reader -- all those yes and no questions they ask. Street signs? Can he drive if he can't read road signs? Shop names? Text on clothing? Ordering food off a restaurant menu? Trying to find a TV channel/movie using a remote? Playing computer or board games?

Where's Wylan making excuses for being unable to read because he's embarrassed? Casually passing papers and books to others around him? Pretending to read? His ridiculously good memorization skills? Does he make excuses about not having glasses/contacts? Pretend not to be a native language speaker?

Where's the modern AUs where his text to speech programs malfunction? There's too much background noise to clearly hear his voice or it also picks up someone voice nearby too. Or he's in a quiet space and can't use it? No cell service or internet connection? Heaven forbid he loses earbuds/headphones or his father cruelly takes away his phone/computer or uninstalls his speech programs. The software not being able to translate messy/loopy handwriting. Where are the chat/text fics where his texts are absent of punctuation and riddled with errors he doesn't notice because the speech to text didn't translate properly and he'd have no way of knowing? Listening to every text/email/audio book is a s l o o o o w process. Where is all of the time it takes Wylan to listen to everything?

In conclusion: I want to read more about Wylan's experience with his learning disability. He is an extremely intelligent and resourceful person that finds his own strategies and adaptations. I don't want to see his his anxiety, struggle, and emotional trauma about reading erased or glossed over. I don't want to see his disability erased by never mentioning it. I don't want to see Wylan's disability erased by providing him with modern tools that "solve" his disability by making it a non-issue. Instead, I want to read about his experiences being -- maybe not more realistic -- but more authentic.

Any fanfic recommendations that dive into Wylan's experiences?

P.S. This post asked a million questions and I have my own headcanon answers to all of them. Feel free to ask! Some are based on my own experience with a learning disability. Some are based on moving to and living in a country where I can't read the main language. Being functionally illiterate as an adult is AN EXPERIENCE.

Guess it's time to be the change I want to see and start writing my own fanfic...

[beardedmrbean]

Oh yeah Ronald Erwin McNair, sorry I thought he was on that other space shuttle that fell apart during launch.

Also that program with Nichelle Nichols, I recall a lot of space exploration and travel polices were created to prevent another colonial empires power struggle which gave us the world wars and the eugenics horror show.

So space was showed to be “EVERY HUMAN CAN BE IN OUTER SPACE!” Now of course only humans of peak condition can be astronauts but stuff like Star Trek suppose to show a possible future where we all can coexist with each other.

Of course NASA was like “okay let not pull a Nazi and show that non whites and women can be astronauts too” but when most of your organization made up of geeky white people…

I can see why Nichelle Nichols was chosen as she inspired many people especially in the blacks and women into science with her uhura role.

And the whole racial tension that she of all people understands. So she basically help convince a lot of black people and women who you know grew up in segregation and heavy gender roles so NASA definitely felt like an out of reach idea for them.

Sorry you are a bigger NASA fan than me. I’m just curious how da fuck is math racist when we had a black astronaut that grew up in the Deep South?

🤨

He was, that was his 2nd flight, Challenger, Jan 28 1986. That's a day embedded in my memory.

NASA has pretty much always been THE government agency that didn't care about anything other than if you can do the job, obviously politics still showed up and they weren't going to send a woman or black man to the moon, woman bit was less sexist than it was a technology and biology thing, going potty and all, still sexism but it was really more cost effective to not have to worry about the other bits.

Nichelle Nichols thing, I hope she fully grasped how important she was to women in general and black women especially. This is the best anecdote about her, at least that fits the theme.

Roddenberry knew what he had created already, why else have a black woman and a Russian on the bridge crew, Nichols found out when Dr King let her know what she meant.

She also wrote that she had "a short, stormy, exciting relationship" with Sammy Davis Jr. in 1959.

GIRL!!! lol

>Sorry you are a bigger NASA fan than me. I’m just curious how da fuck is math racist when we had a black astronaut that grew up in the Deep South?

And a physicist at that.

It's not, I think the issue is that people don't like that there's going to be a right and a wrong answer for math, 1+1 will always equal 2 is problematic somehow.

There's also claims that the way it's taught is geared toward white students, which I'm not sure how that works, but even if that's true they're playing to the majority which sure would come out discriminatory but that's a no win situation unless you bring back segregation.

It's reading but, I think we may be in the market for this happening in math too.

As a teacher in Oakland, Calif., Kareem Weaver helped struggling fourth- and fifth-grade kids learn to read by using a very structured, phonics-based reading curriculum called Open Court. It worked for the students, but not so much for the teachers. “For seven years in a row, Oakland was the fastest-gaining urban district in California for reading,” recalls Weaver. “And we hated it.”

The teachers felt like curriculum robots—and pushed back. “This seems dehumanizing, this is colonizing, this is the man telling us what to do,” says Weaver, describing their response to the approach. “So we fought tooth and nail as a teacher group to throw that out.” It was replaced in 2015 by a curriculum that emphasized rich literary experiences. “Those who wanted to fight for social justice, they figured that this new progressive way of teaching reading was the way,” he says.

Now Weaver is heading up a campaign to get his old school district to reinstate many of the methods that teachers resisted so strongly: specifically, systematic and consistent instruction in phonemic awareness and phonics. “In Oakland, when you have 19% of Black kids reading—that can’t be maintained in the society,” says Weaver, who received an early and vivid lesson in the value of literacy in 1984 after his cousin got out of prison and told him the other inmates stopped harassing him when they realized he could read their mail to them. “It has been an unmitigated disaster.” In January 2021, the local branch of the NAACP filed an administrative petition with the Oakland unified school district (OUSD) to ask it to include “explicit instruction for phonemic awareness, phonics, fluency, vocabulary, and comprehension” in its curriculum.

From a different article same subject

I like that they put the numbers in this one,

But ya, they didn't like the system they had and even though they were getting year to year improvements with it they changed it because why not throw students under the bus.

Maybe they should learn from Ron McNair, but that would be the students taking the initiative and learning on their own, which might require a sea change in the community as it relates to education.

There's a reason this program has kept going since 1987, but ya colonization of students minds, there's a math one too not sure how good that is.

And there's people who just can't get some math honestly, I know I'm one of them, full spectrum dyslexia is not something I'd wish on anyone.

[thegreatimpersonator]

I applaud anyone that pursues academia past a bachelor's. I used to want to get a phd myself back in the day but I laugh about that now so strap in for a story time.

I was halfway through my bachelor's degree, and I was in the process of researching where to apply for a masters. I wanted that to be abroad. And I wanted it to be some sort of political science or something like that. Which was completely unrelated to my literature degree pursuit at the time. But I didn't care, I simply wanted to help fix the world and work as a diplomat or work for the UN.

Anyway, during my research I found out that it costs anywhere between $100-$500 just to apply for a masters program. Which was hella expensive for me living in a country where $300 was the average salary. I joked with friends that I would need to sell a kidney just for a few applications. Fortunately I had a plan for the tuition and other expenses part of studying. There's a government program that pays for everything as long as you get accepted to one of the top universities according to the Shanghai ranking. In return, all you gotta do is graduate on time and then go back home to spend double the time it took you to graduate working in my country. It was the perfect plan! Especially since all those universities had three separate price points, depending on where you're coming from (I'm talking about the European universities that had one really cheap price for locals, second slightly more expensive for other EU members, and third ridiculously high for the rest of the world)

So I started saving up money for those applications about a year before I was supposed to apply. And started looking into the documentation I would need to apply to the universities and to the government program. Meanwhile, my parents tried to dissuade me from studying anything remotely connected to politics saying I'm not cut out to be as cold blooded as the politicians in our country are. I'd wanted to pursue politics for my bachelor's but they negotiated with me to first get a degree in something I would have an easier time finding a job with locally (jokes on them the market has been oversaturated for over a decade before this conversation happened, they just didn't know), and then pursue politics. Just to have a sort of backup if things go bad in any way. And I reluctantly agreed.

But when my last year of my studies started, all the application prices increased. I started thinking about maybe taking a gap year after I graduate and working my ass off to get enough money to apply to 4-5 different schools. I then met my now husband. Him and his family had far more connections to various people than my family did and I got to learn more about that government program behind the scenes. What I learned was that in 99% of cases, the only requirement to be accepted is nepotism. Around that time I learned of a kid in my neighborhood getting accepted in the program for an undergraduate degree. Because his dad was higher up the political food chain in my country. There wasn't an option for an undergraduate degree for the rest of the country. Just masters and phds. Which immediately ruined all of the ideas and plans I had made and made me incredibly disillusioned with the whole thing I intended to do. My now husband also told me he wanted to pursue political science when he entered academia, but he had a different approach. He was in a forensic science program at the time and was thinking about a masters from the local university. He got disillusioned when he saw the amount of crime and corruption in his current studies. While the professors were teaching students all the laws, they were also actively breaking them. He was so disillusioned he ended up transferring from that department to another school to study computer science.

The cherry on top, for me, was the fact that this was all happening around 2015/16 when the Me Too movement was in full swing, and stories started showing up on the amount of sexism women in academia deal with on a daily basis. Along with a couple of other disgusting political things I learned that happened locally.

Immediately no. The whole messy endeavor. Immediately no.

These days I'm looking to move to an EU country, so that if my future kid wants to pursue the degrees I wanted, or any other ones, they would have a lower barrier of entry. I mean that along with the functional educational, medical and legal systems which are nonexistent here as I've demonstrated through the stories I've shared lmao

But I greatly admire anyone who's able to do all that. They are the people that are changing the world in so many different and exciting ways through their discoveries and I'm grateful for them. <3

MK

APPLICATION FEES ARE SO STUPID??? they're not that high at least for places im applying to but it feels so weird to pay just for an opportunity to get in, when there's so many barriers you'd face later! I hope things turn out better everywhere because it's disgusting how closely education ties in with politics. some fields should be absolutely free and safe from any sort of political agenda

[babybluebex]

Girl not the baby bump at the oscarsss fhgdjfjfj. Same <3

ok so in total transparency, i'm not totally sure how to answer this ask and proceed with talking (and fantasizing??) about things like reproduction and healthcare in light of recent news.

to the anon who sent this, please understand that you did nothing wrong in sending this to me, i instigated this with my original post that i made before i had learned about the recent alabama supreme court ruling. but since having learned about it, though, i have a LOT of complicated feelings that i need to get off my chest.

from here on, i will be discussing triggering topics all directly related to the recent alabama supreme court ruling. if you do not want to read about that, be my guest and skip this post. the tl;dr of it is basically, i won't be posting anything more about having children for the foreseeable future.

so. if you don't know. if you're new to my blog or just never really knew. hi. i'm based in alabama. i've lived here for many years, but have never really been especially proud to say that i'm "from" here (bc i'm not "from" alabama, i'm "from" missouri, but that's a different can of worms). also, if you were unaware, last week (but it was only widely reported upon on monday, and I recieved the news on wednesday) the supreme court of alabama made a horrific ruling that frozen embryos are now considered children under the state's wrongful death act. if something were to happen to these frozen embryos (for example, the freezer they are being kept in gets turned off and the embryos thaw, thus making them unusable in IVF treatments), the people responsible for that could (and likely WILL) be criminally charged for wrongful death of a minor.

i will not mince words, because i cannot afford to mince words. this is ridiculous. this is plain stupid. and this is dangerous. in what world would a frozen embryo be considered a child? if this is news to you, your next question might be "why would they do this?" well, your answer lies in the direct words from the judge who passed the ruling: (screenshot taken from a new york times article, if you dm me i will GLADLY provide you with links to news articles discussing this more in depth)

it is a RELIGIOUS reason. it is a CHRISTIAN reason. i am still a student, yes, and my main degree is not exactly keyed into these political issues, but my MINOR??? poli sci babes. and even though i have not been awarded my bachelor's degree yet, i have taken TOO many political sciences classes to not be aware of a little thing called separation of church and state. when you study government systems (particularly american government) in ANY capacity, separation of church and state is one of the FOUNDATIONAL things that you are taught. i am at the end of my degree program, i have met all the requirements to receive my minor, and by now, this concept is so ingrained in our minds as students that my professors do not even mention it anymore. you learn this in INTRO LEVEL government classes. i first learned this is HIGH SCHOOL. so why are we letting our government officials disregard this and rule in whatever fucking way they want to and cite whatever the fuck they want to??

but anyway. this post is not meant to be a history lesson or a politics class. just giving you the current background for context, so i can explain my complicated thoughts that were brought up because of this ask.

i am nonbinary, but i do present feminine in my everyday life. even though i do not ascribe to many of the "traditional" thoughts of femininity, i have, for a long time, wanted to be a parent. for a long time, i have wanted to get married and have a family, and i strive for that future.

but now. the specific ruling does not directly effect me, but it's more the thought of what comes next that scares me. there is already a total ban on abortions in my state, and the same judge who said the above quote has said that he wishes to make it a criminal offense to any persons who help a pregnant person seek an abortion. so, let's say for example, if my boyfriend were to drive me across state lines to receive an abortion, he could be charged with a criminal offense. that's so unfathomably absurd to me.

but, because of this, i am quickly becoming turned off from the entire idea of reproducing at all. pregnancy scares me, because, in the likely event that my own health does not allow for a safe pregnancy (long story short, because of a few health issues, my doctor has told me that it will be difficult, if not highly unlikely, for me to conceive a child naturally), i cannot receive the necessary healthcare required, and any family or partner who helps me do so is then liable. i personally feel (operative word is personally, just because i feel this way does not mean that you have to as well) scared of that happening, of even opening myself up to that possibility. even fantasizing about becoming pregnant fills me with fear and anxiety, because, as much as i want to be able to detach myself from it and be like "oh having this person's baby <3" and write fiction about it, my anxiety will not let me detach from reality.

so. for the time being, until i can process these feelings and the fear better, i think i'm gonna refrain from writing/posting about having children/pregnancy/things of that nature. it's no longer a sweet little fantasy for me; this ruling sets a precedent, a dangerous precedent, and if this is the fear that i feel from something that does not directly effect me at the present moment, i could not tell you how i would feel when (not if, when) the state i reside in puts in even harsher and more damaging laws.

so yeah. idk. that's just sorta where my head is at rn.

[sophistprick]

About Ciarán

[ Independent RP blog for a Changeling: The Dreaming character set in the World of Darkness. ]

Ciarán is…a loudmouthed, foul-tempered bitch. She’s not a bad person, but she’s caustic and sarcastic. Her friends are trying to get her to be more polite, and it's kind of working, but she’s still just way too quick to be rude.

I don't want to call her a tsundere, but the shoe does fit. Her once-lost childhood friend, Eve, had to break down a lot of barriers to get close to her, and for a while she thought Ciarán hated her. She’s more open now than she used to be back then, but it’s not the world’s fastest process.

Ciarán Starsong is:

An orphan.

Her only friend after the death of her mother and until adulthood was her older stepsister, Nell O'Shieghane—herself twice-orphaned. The two were never adopted, and had to survive by themselves.

A college student majoring in...social work, believe it or not.

Ciarán genuinely cares about other people and wants to help them. She’s not far enough in the program to pick a population to work in, as she’s still doing Gen Ed, but she’s leaning towards substance abuse. She’s not actually as socially unintelligent as she might appear, and is making efforts to open up to other people. She thinks this might be a good way to both do something concrete to help other people and force herself to be better about it. Incidentally, this website is also an effort to try to do that latter thing.

A part-time bookstore worker.

She was jobless for most of her adult life, but she eventually found work at the Blind Eye, an independent bookstore with a generous return policy owned by the anarchist historian Annalise Ansara.

It’s not technically a library, but for the needy, it effectively functions like one, even so far as it provides public services in an area without a public library in walking distance.

A polyamorous lesbian.

She won’t talk much about her relationships. She usually won’t even refer to people as her friend unless she’s explicitly asked about the nature of her relationships. She also doesn’t really care about titles. She’ll be the mother of your child before she asks you to be her ‘girlfriend’ or whatever.

...A Changeling.

Changeling: The Dreaming is not the most popular game from the World of Darkness—certainly not anywhere near the likes of Vampire: The Masquerade—and I'm not about to step in and defend its honor. However, since a lot of people have probably never read any of its 27-year-old rulebooks, I'll summarize the important information.

The world used to be more magical. As we know from Mage: the Awakened lore (which isn't always fully compatible with everything else, as is frequently the case with the WoD), humans change the world with their very perception. If mankind perceives the world to be a certain way, it becomes that way. The advent of the Iron Age was devastating to the forces of magic and whimsy in the world, as they were slowly replaced with science and rationalism. Glamour, the force that animates the Fae, was slowly—and then very quickly—eroded by Banality. Banality became so strong that the Dreaming, the mystical home of the Fae, was Sundered from reality. Fae outside of the Dreaming were eroded entirely by the forces of Banality, and ceased to exist. The ones who learned to survive in the real world became Changelings. Changelings are humans inhabited by Fae souls, typically newborn or reincarnated Fae that awaken and join with the human soul during adolescence. The Sidhe are the Fae nobility. They're immortal and ageless, and many hold great power by comparison to their commoner brethren. But as the Dreaming is vanishing, they've been forced to become Changelings themselves, and Changelings are not immortal. Sidhe, unlike commoners, don't reincarnate. For whatever reason, there's never been a reincarnated Sidhe. The official stance of the Sidhe is that it's because they return to Arcadia, the home of the Fae in the Dreaming upon death—returning to the Fae homelands that they've been expelled from since 1969. Every Fae returns temporarily to Arcadia when they reincarnate, so it goes. The idea is that Sidhe simply don't reincarnate, they remain in Arcadia. This, however, is unsubstantiated. If it reads like Sidhe copium, it's because it very well might be. Sidhe are much more victim to Banality than any other Fae. They are naturally weak to it, being more innately Glamorous than the others. The alternative hypothesis is that they simply cannot survive the process of reincarnation. Without a human form to keep them sheltered, they're simply obliterated in the Banality of the world. The third hypothesis, one that some commoner Fae claim is true, is that Sidhe are reincarnated—but not as Sidhe. Instead, they become commoners so that they experience all walks of life. Some commoners claim to have been Sidhe in past lives, some rather fervently—but since it's impossible to verify, nobody can ever know for sure. The Sidhe, of course, fervently deny this possibility. A fourth hypothesis is that Sidhe may simply take a very long time to reincarnate. The Sidhe were only displaced to the mortal world 54 years ago, after all—ask any Vampire Elder, that time is nothing to an immortal. Sidhe also incarnate differently than their commoner counterparts. Commoners share an identity with their human half. There is nothing completely recognizable as a commoner Fae distinct from their human self, even though there is clearly a human and Fae component. Sidhe don't do that. When Sidhe incarnate, they possess humans, and completely and totally replace the human soul that inhabited the body they take. Back when they still had a connection to Arcadia, the human spirit would be swapped with theirs—but now that the Sidhe cannot return home, it's likely that the human soul is just done away with.

Ciarán is the host of a Sidhe from House Leanhaun named Vera. Ciarán's soul is much too old to fuse with Vera's in the same Chrysalis that most newborn Changelings experience in their adolescence, but Vera didn't wish to displace her, either. This is the compromise she came to—co-habitation with her new soul-partner in the same mortal body.

Vera, strangely enough, professes herself to be not newborn, but quite old—she has memories of a past life, or perhaps this life. What this could imply is somewhat of a mystery. Is she the first, or only Sidhe to reincarnate? Or was she somehow still in Arcadia until the present day, and only left now? She won't answer these questions, and frankly, Ciarán won't ask.

What consequences does this cohabitation entail? Well, Vera is a very accomplished Sidhe capable of quite powerful Cantrips—Fae magic—but Ciarán has access to none of them, and Vera won't simply use them on command. Indeed, Vera seems to hog all of the Glamour in their relationship. Conversely, Vera has practically no control over her own body. Ciarán has more experience piloting it, and is much more accustomed to the Banality than Vera. Vera can't even flip a light switch without using a Cantrip.

Furthermore, because Vera is a glutton for Glamour, and Glamour is hard to come by when you're not looking for it, she's operating on a limited supply. Ciarán is a quite normal person, who doesn't want to abandon her human life in favor of a Fae one. In fact, she doesn't want to consider herself to be Fae at all, even though she's a full Changeling by this point, and would be recognized as nobility by other Changelings—who she's gone out of her way to avoid.

However, there's something that stops her from simply hiding in the human world completely, and letting Vera succumb to Banality.

House Leanhaun is dependent on something called the Rhapsody. Rhapsody is a type of Epiphany, an overwhelming burst of emotion that a human experiences when they tap into the Dreaming. Specifically, Rhapsody is a forbidden type of Epiphany—Ravaging—which inspires an artist to create their life's work—their magnum opus—at the cost of all the Glamour they'll ever have again. By the end, all their creativity is spent. They'll never be an artist again afterwards, and frequently succumb to exhaustion, stress, and intense, sometimes suicidal depression.

Vera is a predator who preys upon desperate artists, giving them exactly what they want in a Faustian bargain. Ciarán, like a fledgling vampire, is to come to terms with that reality—because without it she'll begin to wither. This is the curse of House Leanhaun. Leanhaun Sidhes must partake in the Rhapsody at least once per month, or they'll begin to rapidly age as they wither. This aging is a boon and a curse, as it can be reversed through feeding. Sidhe of House Leanhaun grow younger when they partake in Rhapsody.

If Ciarán wants to continue living, she needs to do so at the cost of ruining around 12 lives per year. That's a fact that she's still coming to terms with—and still figuring out how to even accomplish. She needs only follow Vera's instructions—but the Sidhe can be rather casually cruel.

—

Character Origins

Ciarán started as a character made for a DnD 5e game.

In it, she was the orphaned squire of a Knight named Eliza Hylia, made that way as a compromise on a punishment. After her family died in a dragon attack that the corrupt local officials in the Kingdom of Camelot ignored, she bid her time until she could learn swordsmanship in the militia and, once she was 18, cut down the local noble lord. She was captured by royal forces, and sentenced to be executed. On death row, she took an Oath, becoming a Paladin blessed by the Archfey Titania, who took a whimsical interest in the youthful and spirited girl. Titania’s mark spared her from execution by the Knights of Camelot, who were reverent to the Archfey. They were, however, unwilling to simply let her go, so she was instead lashed to the reputable Eliza.

Both Camelot and Titania would one day learn to regret sparing her life. Her Oath was not sworn in fealty to Titania, but to the end of tyranny. Ciarán refused to allow Eliza’s conservative attitudes and virtuous platitudes to sway her, and gathered power for one goal: to kill each and every King, until there was no man brave enough to call himself better than any other.

…in this setting, she’s a tad more chill than she is in her original game.

[rollercoasterwords]

hi!! i've been thinking of applying for an international studies degree at uni, so i was just wondering what you thought of your course?

hmmmm well overall i enjoyed international studies but. i do not want 2 ever study it in a formal academic setting ever again. a lot of that is just down to personal preferences tho (this got really long lmao i'm so sorry)

i majored in IS at a usamerican university so i can't really speak to what expectations u should have for an IS program outside the states (or even necessarily what to expect other than like. what i got at my specific college lol) but!! while i really enjoyed a lot of the subject matter in learning about international relations, getting to study a lot of history and foreign policy, etc, a lot of the main frameworks used in IS are frameworks that i.....really do not like. right now in a lot of the world liberalism seems to dominate perspectives on international relations, and historically realism has been like....the foundational framework in the field. there are many more scholars who use feminist or marxist or post-structuralist etc etc frameworks that i jive with more, but a lot of IS even at some of the higher academic level lacks any critical anaylsis of colonialism or capitalism and the way they underly many of the assumptions in the field about how states will/should interact with each other. and my experience of IS at a usamerican college was (predictably) very western-centric and specifically US-centric.

like -- an example of what i'm talking about; you might get scholars researching "terrorism" without any critical analysis of where "terrorism" comes from as a label, what context it was created in, how it's been used in the past, who gets to use it, what forms of legitimacy or illegitimacy it perpetuates as a label, etc etc. or you might get scholars studying "development" without any real analysis of the ways that "development" is a very political term that oftentimes assumes all states should follow some sort of linear path based largely on states for whom colonization was an essential part of speedrunning that "path" towards "development"

and like i don't wanna undersell bc as i said there are TONS of scholars who ARE doing really great analysis that is very much questioning preconceptions in the field and helping to reframe the way we think, so if u are really interested in IS there is definitely a growing branch of the field that is breaking away from these sorts of necolonial western-centric assumptions + frameworks. my area of focus was latin america, and i spent most of the last year of my degree writing about how traditional conceptualizations of state security perpetuate gendered violence, specifically at the us-mexico border. and so i got to immerse myself in a side of the field that i really loved, and that was great!!

but the thing that really sort of sealed the deal for me on deciding i don't want to pursue IS for any more advanced studies was my senior thesis. up until that point, because i was a dual IS-history major, most of my papers had been more humanities based, but for my senior thesis i HAD to use social science methodology, where you're picking variables and trying to measure them and draw conclusions etc etc, and i just.... hated it. i think social science research certainly can be very important and informative, but everything i wanted to study was too nebulous of a concept to really measure in any meaningful way--and i think a lot of IS research can kinda run into that issue, because, again, if you're gonna measure something as nebulous as "democratic freedom" or "development," it's like.....what assumptions are you beginning with about what defines those concepts and how we measure them?

anyway in the end i kind of rebelled a little bit and designed a study based on the guidelines we had to follow where i basically went "if we measure development based on this notion that it's a linear process we can measure in the first place, we'd expect to see this in this country! but wait! we don't!! perhaps because the notion of development in and of itself is based on neocolonial assumptions and it's stupid to act like we can measure it or predict how certain states are going to act just bc The Western World acted that way!!" and my professor got a little annoyed w me and felt like i was being presumptuous and not giving enough credit to the scholars in the field who are treating that question seriously, which looking back i probably was a little bit, but for the most part i stand by my paper <3

anyway. that experience cemented for me that i wanted to stick firmly to humanities and cease any dabbling in social sciences moving forward, simply bc i do not enjoy using that research methodology. but if ur interested in social science + enjoy the methodology, or are more interested in quantitative than qualitative research, then u would not have that same issue! my advice 2 anyone interested in IS is just to engage w postcolonial, feminist, and anticapitalist writing + scholarship so that u are not just accepting questionable assumptions when u inevitably run into them in the field. also be ready to have classes w some really annoying conservatives who think that international relations is a zero-sum game (á la realism) and some really annoying liberals who think that institutions like the UN are flawless deities who would save the whole world if only everyone agreed to play a little bit nicer (a lá liberalism)

[khaleesiofalicante]

Not me coming on Tumblr to get career advice rather than Linkedin or sum… but that’s okay because you are very accomplished

Olay let me start this by: OMG THE FOX NEWS THING😭😭 I CANT BELIEVE I DIDNT KNOW… that is some life goals being achieved. No cause how do you do all this? It’s so- wow. Yup that’s what it is. It’s just ~wow~

As someone who has worked with the UN and pissed off fox news (which is arguably a bigger life moment) do you have any advice on how I can get started?

I know I’m really young so finding internships and stuff is a lot harder. It’s even more difficult since I’m an international student meaning I practically have no connections whatsoever (the pain is almost unbearable).

I was thinking about just like cold emailing a bunch of lawyers in big firms to see if they’d let me intern there or at least shadow them but that could come off as impolite and a waste of their time and I don’t want to ruin potential career prospects (like what if they decide not to employ me years from now because of this… idk lawyers are grudge holding and weird like that). I thought I could do the same with university professors cause they do research but I have absolutely MO idea how a “humanities” professor (like law, history) would do research or why they’d need people to help cause it’s not like they’re in a lab… I suppose I could try that with social sciences professors. I’m not really afraid of rejection from them cause it’s over email so I can just pretend it never happened (right????!). Then again, I don’t know if this is socially acceptable.

I’m not even in university yet so I’m too young everything online but I’m afraid when I am old enough for the big girl stuff then I won’t be experienced enough to stand out so I need to start young but idk how.

I feel like I should get a career advisor but I can’t so I’m just gonna ask credible online strangers :) hehe

Alright enough real world thinking for the day… imma go ials now. ITS ARTHURS CHAPTER!!! I wonder if we’ll see a certain love interest…

Helloooo.

Okay. I'm going to be honest with you professors and lawyers are not gonna give internships to school students. Internships in the development sector (where we focus on social, economic and political development) are incredibly tough.

But I will tell you that internships are easier to access when you are actually in college (because sometimes it is required that you do one) and people are more likely to hire you when you have a little bit of credibility.

So, if you are still in school, I will advise you to focus on your learning and worry about the internship a little later.

What I would advise you to do instead though however is to join as many online (or offline if possible) programs for youth on various niche topics. These vary from workshops, trainings, youth camps, etc. These are usually for 18 and above and are specifically for young people so you are more likely to get in. These are fantastic opportunities for you to 1) learn about the topic before you go to college. college is theory. here you can learn from mentors who actually work in the field 2) it looks fantastic on your CV if you don't have job experience yet 3) VERY IMPORTANT - you get to make like-minded friends. 4) You also meet mentors and inspirations who might end up changing your life.

These kinds of events (one-off online workshops or even a series of events) are hosted by almost all organizations in the development sector. All you need to do is google it. I would suggest you to start locally (in your country or continent/region).

For example, I just googled this:

Identify your niche interest (as mine is gender/digital rights). Find a program or event. Remember to apply for as many as you can.

I started applying when I was 19 (when I finished school) and it's really how I met so many people and started to work with different organizations.

If you are comfortable sharing your current region or country, (DM me if it's better) and let me know your interest areas, I'm happy to share any opportunities that I see because I'm in so many whatsapp groups and pages where people are constantly looking for people like you! Youth who are interested!

NETWORKING IS EVERYTHING IN THIS FIELD.

Also. You don't necessarily need to do anything right now either. If all you do is read books and watch videos that are relevant to your topic, that's great. I would strongly advise you to do that. For example, if your interest area is Law +LGBTQ, then you need to be aware of the current events in this area (ILGA Asia on IG is good for this!). That's very important!

I hope this helps! 💜

[graziadiocenterilpostino]

Faculty Spotlight: Jaclyn Taylor

1. Please tell us a bit about yourself & describe what first made you interested in learning Italian.

My name is Jaclyn Taylor, I’m a part-time lecturer and translator – this semester I’m teaching Italian, comparative world literature, and supervising some communications activity sections, which has been very interesting, since it is outside of my subject area. I came to Italian (and CSULB) through what administrators often like to call a “non-traditional” route – I was a working transfer student, though it is clear to any lecturer that most of our students work, and nearly half of students in the CSU are transfers. While in community college I knew I wanted to get a Spanish BA and exhausted every Spanish course available to me there (and any other course that interested me), while also working as an astronomy TA, in a science fiction and mystery bookstore, as an event coordinator, doing bookkeeping – I don’t know where I got the energy! At that time, you were also required to complete courses in an additional foreign language for the Spanish BA. That requirement turned out to be the one that changed the trajectory of my life in a very positive way. I had originally taken Japanese at El Camino College due to it mostly sharing pronunciation with Spanish, and did quite well my first semester, but I realized I did not have the time to really dedicate myself to learning a new writing system, and I struggle with certain kinds of memorization tasks. Soon after completing that semester my late father decided to retire and move to the Central Coast, so I moved in with a friend in Long Beach. I saw that Italian was offered at LBCC, knew the pronunciation was also similar to Spanish, and decided to take it with Dr. Mihaela Mehr, who went to CSULB herself. During those classes it became very clear to me that my background with another Romance language was an asset – I would constantly say “oh, that’s just like in Spanish!” and she eventually told me about the intercomprehension-focused program in Italian here. This was back in 2014. Finding that out was fundamental in getting me to choose CSULB – I had the grades to transfer pretty much anywhere, but I was really interested in that approach which felt cutting edge and community-conscious. That, along with the coursework I saw in the Spanish BA program, is why I came here in 2015 to continue my studies, adding an Italian minor, since at that time I already had too many units completed to double major. I loved the faculty in RGRLL and the intercomprehension and translation coursework available, made friends in Italy due to a series of serendipitous events which gave me an opportunity to write and speak in Italian daily, and I decided that once I finished my BA, I would do the Italian MA (after a small detour doing a translation internship in Recanati). As a grad student I got to teach Italian for Spanish Speakers several times, which was really exciting; I loved being able to combine my interests and particular skill sets in our department and see my students have those same “oh, that’s just like in Spanish!” moments I had ten years ago.

2. What kind of advice do you have for someone who is interested in the Italian Studies program at CSU Long Beach?

Now I’m sure this may not be a popular answer, but I think being passionate about the culture and history of Italy, positive and negative, is really essential to getting a solid grasp on the language. Yes, it’s a beautiful country! Yes, the food is great! Yes, the clothes are stylish! Yes, you should go there and do the touristy things! But it also has a really fascinating, and at times ugly, political history that has a lot of lessons for us here in the States. Then again, where isn’t that the case? I think you tend to love something even more when you can embrace it for what it is, warts and all. Our program, to me, has a strong interdisciplinary approach that gives you a lot of room to pursue your interests, and students with a wide breadth of knowledge tend to thrive because they can make the kind of connections that are essential for understanding the current moment in which we find ourselves. I also think it’s important to get to know your instructors and be open to any opportunity that comes your way; so much of what I have been able to do has been the result of the genuine support and mentorship I have received from instructors who are now colleagues, like Dr. Clorinda Donato, who knew me and my skills as a student and often asked, “hey, would you be interested in - ?” thereby giving me the opportunity to say “yes!!” Being open to learning everything you can in the time you have here and saying yes to exciting opportunities that at first may feel scary is a huge part of your growth not just as a student, but as a human being. Say yes to things!

3. Apart from teaching, you are also involved in translation. Do you have a favorite work you’ve translated? 

This is like asking a parent who their favorite child is (I’m an only child, so I’m always the favorite)! I’m kidding. Maybe. Each translation has a special place in my heart, because I have learned so much from all of them. Sometimes too much. I think I have a real fondness for a translation I did during undergrad of part of Torquato Tasso’s epic Gerusalemme liberata, because it is the first one I really remember challenging me, and it ended up as the closing piece in Translation Becomes Eclectic, Vol. II, which was exciting – it might be my first publication. I did it in an Italian translation course I took with our current chair, Dr. Aparna Nayak, and it was my first introduction to the idea that there were different theories of translation. Now that I work for the Clorinda Donato Center for Global Romance Languages and Translation Studies, I get to draw on all of my experience, knowledge, and research skills gained during my BA, MA, and the translation graduate certificate I also received here as a member of the program’s first cohort, and it feels really validating to know all of that hard work is being put to use, rather than just living on my wall in a diploma frame. More recently, I enjoyed translating an article on pilgrimage tattoos in Loreto in the early modern period, written by Massimo Cattaneo – it was utterly fascinating and, to be quite honest, really gross. These were tattoos made by cobblers who would carve into the skin of pilgrims using their shoe-making tools, and then rub ink into the wounds. A shocking quantity of saliva is involved. Let’s just say I love any translation that gives me something to talk about at parties.

4. You have traveled to Italy several times, what is your favorite place to visit? 

Obviously, it is easy to say I love Rome, because it is a big city with lots to see and is highly navigable by foot and public transit as a solo traveler or with others, but my fondest memories are from visiting small towns in Abruzzo with my good friend Cristina. There is a cute little beach town called San Vito Chietino that I like to visit, where you can get fresh caught and fried seafood and see some trabocchi, which are fishing platforms that are particular to that stretch of Adriatic coastline. I also love a hilltop town called Guardiagrele, which has a lovely art nouveau park (which they call liberty style in Italy) with beautiful greenery and a view of both the sea and mountains. It is also home to a bakery known for a rich, cream-filled pastry called sise delle monache which isn’t appropriate to translate here but has some affinity with a memorable bit character from Total Recall.

5. You have three pets, please introduce them. 

My partner and I do have three! We have our little old man Andy, who is an arthritic but very sweet white German shepherd. He’s at least 12 now and naps a lot. I joke that he looks like Baby Yoda because of his big ears, which I also call his satellite dishes. We also have two cats, Moo Moo and Hazel. Moo Moo was found starving and dazed here in the streets of Long Beach by some good friends, and we adopted him from them in the beginning of 2021. They named him Moo Moo because he looks like a little cow, and the name stuck, even though he mostly chirps like a bird or makes tiny grunts. He’s about as heavy as a cow now, though. Hazel is a slinky little tabby-tortie cat we adopted from a rescue in San Luis Obispo county in October 2022 when she was 4 months old. Her favorite time of day is bedtime! She runs to our room when she thinks we’re packing in for the evening. She is pretty quiet like Moo but loves to sit in the window and chatter at birds, or run around the house like she’s about to get caught after doing some sort of mischief. Moo and Hazel like to compete for the top of their cat tower, which means I have seen many improbable (and incredibly cute) kitty sleeping arrangements.

Jaclyn in Abruzzo

Moo and Hazel

Andy aka Baby Yoda

[facesofcsl]

Madeleine Mayes (BA, majoring in Political Science)

Madeleine Mayes (she/her) is a 4th year undergraduate student majoring in Political Science. She enrolled in a CSL course by accident but fell in love with it and wanted to continue doing more. She is currently going forward to work with La Connexional, a social enterprise and creative consulting agency specializing in full-service event management.

Why did you decide to do the csl certificate or course?

I took a class that had a CSL component in it. It was Arec 173. It was online and I had no idea what was going on and everybody had to do it. So I guess it was by accident and afterwards, I loved the idea of getting the certificate because I have always enjoyed volunteering. I also loved the idea of being able to work with a non-profit board through the NPBI Program. This made me more excited to get the certificate and I just ended up doing more CSL classes. So yes, at first it was an accident and then later, I just fell in love with the concept of it.

What was your favourite csl placement, and why?

It was arec 173. As explained earlier, it was an accident. So when we were asked to choose which organization we would like to work with, I ended up choosing Gateway - which is our campus paper. I had heard of it before but I was too shy to go to the Open house and learn about them. I felt like it was meant to be when I ended up working with them for the semester.

It was a little tricky at start as there were 4-5 of us trying to coordinate to write a few articles. But what I enjoyed the most about it was that it got me out of my shell (comfort zone) and got me involved doing something outside my placement. By that I mean I continued working with Gateway even after the courses ended. I am fond of this placement because it forced me to do something I would have never done if it wasn’t a part of my course.They taught us all sorts of journalism techniques which I am grateful for. Soon after I ended up going to a meeting where I was able to use these skills and that got me really excited.

How has CSL impacted your academic and/or personal life?

It has definitely affected my academia as now I am taking classes that are for the CSL certificate. In terms of personal life, CSL has encouraged me a lot and now I doing things outside of school. It is nice to be able to have an environment where you can practice your skills. As a political science student, I have done a lot of work that I have learned through my classes, and I have also done some work outside my classes. Doing social media and campaigns for organizations and being able to put that into practice with organizations and communities, it makes you feel really good. What you are doing is building up to something, if that makes sense.

It is one thing to be able to study how to do things, study how to use acquired and learned skills in classes but it is something entirely different to be able to work with real people and in real life settings.

What was your personal experience with CSL?

It definitely changed some of the ways I used to think about things. Because of CSL, I have really grown to enjoy the nonprofit world, outside the political world which I am doing my Bachelor's in. Having the ability to work with immigrants and learning about things I was not exposed to before was a really eye-opening experience for me.

How would you sum up your experience with CSL in one sentence?

CSL is a great opportunity to grow if you only let yourself embrace that opportunity.

[thelittlepalmtree]

I don't know if this is because I'm an english teacher, neurodivergent, or just a bitch, but I cannot stand when people misinterpret things. Like nothing makes me more angry as when someone makes an incorrect inference and pushes it off as a fact. like for example someone might say "My husband sometimes forgets to take out the trash, but we still make it work." and the next day people will be like "[Name Here] says she can 'make it work' with her lazy husband." Actually she didn't fucking say that. And the actual quote gets buried under the commentary. It becomes this whole discourse "[Name here] should be able to express her feelings about her husband without criticism!" or "[Name Here] is shaming her husband for not taking the trash out!!!"

Now you might be thinking "wow she's clearly talking about blablablah drama" And I'm not. I came up with the most non descript example I could think of. You think I'm talking about a certain drama or scandal or political situation because this happens in all of them!! Everyone is like paraphrasing things that other people say badly all the time. "Well they basically said" makes me see red. TELL ME WHAT THEY ACTUALLY SAID!!! If it's genuinely that bad, a direct quote will do just fine! But the truth is that, no, it's actually not that bad. someone else might actually understand things differently and you think that your followers, friends, readers, etc just can't be trusted to know the truth. Which I'm sure people aren't consciously aware that's what they're thinking but it is what you're communicating even if you're just too lazy to google whatever it is you think you're mad about.

THIS is why the internet is toxic. You have all learned to decode the english language but you haven't learned to READ it, as in comprehend what people are saying. When people say "the average american is at a 4th grade reading level" what they're actually saying is that the average American is at a fourth grade level of understanding complexity. Like I teach 7th grade and 90% of my interactions online are not on grade level. People are out here making low level inferences.

And if you're like "mehehe this doesn't apply to me, I'm an english major" Y'all are the worst ones. The book influencers, the people with degrees in philosophy, political sciences, english, etc. Y'all are the dumbest people on earth. I used to be fucking stupid too. Because what you learn is that if you sound smart enough it's okay to be fucking stupid. I always struggled in my degree program with people making the stupidest fucking arguments because they wanted to be different. like "Feminists actually hate women" and "marx would've loved business" and "Freud has something to contribute to this conversation." All things I heard PROFESSORS say in english courses. The people who claim to like reading don't actually read the books they talk about y'all. My favorite professor told me "you know you're a good english major when you can get an A on a paper about a book you haven't read"

Anyway, I'm not even saying I'm perfect here, but I really really try to not misrepresent information even if it doesn't support what I'm saying. Life is a lot more complicated than people make it. And truth is not always what you want to hear.

[spfqueen]

Vipassana

Vipassana means "seeing things as they really are" and is a meditation technique originating from India. It is the process of self-cleansing through self-observation. Impulsively once again, I decided to spend 10 days at a retreat in Asia learning this ancient meditation technique white cut off from all electronic devices and communication with the outside world.

I am a woman of science, I like evidence based, quantitative measurement and proof of theory and statistics. What the heck was I doing at a Buddhist meditation retreat right after my research fellowship?

I've always been drawn to Eastern philosophy. After earning my science degree I traveled to Bali to get a yoga instructor certification. That's where I first heard about Vipassana. I couldn't understand why anyone would willingly sign up for something so torturing. Two years later my own calling came: I felt completely disconnected from my body and disoriented from my goals. I went on the website and started looking for destinations, I filled out the declaration of interest not believing I would go. Vipassana centers exist all over the world, as well as in Greece. The only open place I found within 10 days was in Singapore. I was starting rural in two months so it had to be done asap.

My previous experience with meditation? Excruciating. I couldn't sit still for more than 10 minutes, my so-called monkey mind jumped around endlessly leaving me with negative feelings of failure and dissatisfaction. But wasn't that the goal? To go and learn how to do it.

I decided not to discuss this decision with my acquaintances, as I didn't want their opinion to influence me. I knew exactly how they were going to respond.

Three days before I left I told my brother that I was scared. He replied "It is that because you are scared you have to do it".

Two days before I flew I announced to my mother that I was going to Singapore for 10 days without a cell phone for a meditation retreat. The mother obviously freaked out. "Who organises this, what's the point, why don't you go find a place at the beach to chill instead of flying to Asia to meet hippies".

I packed my suitcase and took a taxi to the airport for a 20h trip. I commuted from the airport directly to the place appointed for pick up to the course location. I was there two hours early. "What am I doing? I have a family that loves me. Why did I have to go halfway around the world to calm my head - I could have chosen to go to a shopping spree instead. This meeting spot could easily be a white slavery organisation, I'd be kidnapped and no one would know where I was."

Slowly, Singaporeans and Indians began to appear with suitcases in hand and a look on their faces saying "I don't know what I'm doing - help me". I must have been in the right place because I looked like that too. They counted us, read our names and we boarded the bus. Half an hour later we had arrived at the camp and received our instructions and schedule for the next 10 days.

Program

04:00 wake up to the sound of the gong 04:30 - 06:30 meditation in our private room or in the hall 06:30 - 08:00 breakfast 08:00 - 09:00 group meditation in the hall 11:00 - 13:00 lunch (this was the last meal of the day) and rest 13:00 - 14:30 meditation in our private area or in the hall 14:30 - 15:30 group meditation in the hall 15:30 - 17:00 meditation in our private room or in the hall 17:00 - 18:00 afternoon tea break 18:00 - 19:00 group meditation in the hall 19:00 - 20:15 video course screening 20:15 - 21:00 group meditation in the room 20:00 lights off

Rules The participants must: Refrain from killing any living creature (including: for eating anything of animal origin. not even the mosquito that's buzzing around you) Refrain from stealing. Refrain from any sexual activity. Refrain from lying. Abstain from any kind of toxic substances. To follow polite silence - ALL conversations (and eye contact) are forbidden. There is segregation of men and women in the area. Physical exercise, yoga is prohibited. No reading, music, writing, use of cell phone and camera is prohibited. Shoulders and knees should be covered at all times, with loose and modest clothing.

Time to explore where I would sleep. Our room had the same size as my room in Athens with the small detail that it was destined for 6 women in bunk beds. How was I supposed to share a room with 5 other Asian girls without talking? The room looked like it hadn't been cleaned for a long time, the WC was two in one, bathroom and toilet. How was I, a sworn enemy of any camping activities going to last 10 days in that hell? I'd heard that many people can't complete the course and give up, but a more stubborn person than me is hard to find. Furthermore, I was a bit far from home (20 hour trip). The outdoor space was surrounded by a fence, hence limited walking area. On the other side of the fence I saw beautiful trees I have only seen in Asian movies. It was beautiful.

Days 1 - 3

The first three days were dedicated to the technique of observing the breath, called anapana. I got 5 pillows to make a little throne and be as comfortable as possible. For the first 2 days western life occupied my mind. I was thinking of captions for my fantastic instagram posts for clicks I'd never taken. I walked around our fenced area to count how many minutes I completed it in (it was 4), so I could repeat it as many times as it takes to walk 30 minutes a day. For self entertainment purposes, I walked barefoot on the grass to soak in the daily midday rain. Remember the rules. Besides, it was so hot that I had to go into every meditation hour in a wet shirt to endure.

I generally don't dream, but after the first day of meditation every time I went to sleep (naps twice during the day and sleep at night) I had very vivid dreams that I remembered clearly afterwards. I started to get used to myself without make up and actually like my face (note that at the time my friends never saw me without winged eyeliner and 10 days make up free was a personal record).

Day 4

On the fourth day I found out that so far we haven't been practicing vipassana meditation. That day we had to pick a sitting position and stay there for two hours without any movement. For two hours you had to harness your mind telling you to stretch your leg, scratch your shoulder, open your eyes. And just when you think you're not going to make it, you do. My leg went completely numb and I had to give it sometime before I was able to walk again.

Every day that went by, I got better at that technique. I had become more relaxed, and more "present". I noticed the trees, each leaf and trunk, the sunrise and sunset, the colors and position of the sun. I felt happier, so much so that I wondered if they were adding any substances in our food.

Slowly, I began to understand the meaning behind each rule. We couldn't eat heavily because it was hard to stay alert for meditation on a full stomach. We couldn't talk because, as they say, "comparison is the thief of joy." Each student was at a different stage in their path and each path is different. Also writing, cell phones and talking were ways we could avoid introspection. Exercise, even light yoga would be distraction as well.

Days 6 - 9

On the 6th day, the vipassana technique began. From then on, three times a day for one hour we had to stay still. Normally you should not label your meditation as good or bad. It is simply what it is. However, I was extremely proud of my meditation session on the 7th day. An hour of sitting went by like 5 minutes. It seemed unbelievable to me. After the session, I went outside, sat on the grass and observed the nature around me. Never in my life, had I ever felt such explosion of joy inside of me before. The feelings were unprecedented. I couldn't remember myself being so happy. I started wondering when was the last time I was happy. The last times I had felt happy were when I had published in one of the best dermatology journals, when I had presented at that American World Congress, when I went on a date with Mr X, Y, Z. It was all external ego boosters. And there, I found myself having created this huge feeling - all an inside job, with no gym endorphins, no shopping, no contact with people around me. I was crying.

I was thinking about The Beatles, one of my favorite bands, who had gone to meditate in India. I was singing "Let it be" in my head and, for the first time, with Goenka's vipassana teaching, the song really made sense.

Day 10

We were finally allowed to talk to each other. I so was eager to ask about their experiences, what had prompted them to come. I learned that Vipassana is quite popular in Asian countries. I was surprised to find out that many came for no particular reason, just for the experience. Some said they were looking for answers, others said they were depressed and wanted to heal. All of them felt grateful that they came. I felt a constant smile on my face which I could also see on everyone around me.

I don't know what exactly it was that prompted me to try Vipassana. But it was the best trip of my life.

Was it easy? Not at all. Should you go for it? No doubt. If I had to put into one single phrase what how felt, it would be "I was put back into my body". I can't help but wonder if I would have handled things differently if I had done vipassana earlier in my life. I made a promise to myself that I would continue meditating and would repeat the course that made me grateful to be me.

[silvermuffins]

Okay. Back at it. We're trying to really make some Progress I'm just very very sleepy. Let's see, what to do with our time....

I think brushing koromaru is legitimately the most useful thing I can do.

Man. This science class talking about needing to be environmentally friendly for the sake of all life on earth, and the adults may not see the consequences but the kids will..... It just kinda hits different in the context of P3 and the Fall.

It's the week before exams so after school times are for Mitsuru and evenings are for fuck if I know. Working at Chagall I guess. Mitsuru, Chagall, Mitsuru, Chagall. God I love Mitsuru.

Oh we will not Chagall tonight, we get group bonding in the form of a study session! Excellent!

Just with Ken and Koro-chan huh? That's good. Ken is prime little brother material.

I love that apparently, somehow, the dog has learned how to use a vending machine.

I'm like. About to cry just because of how good SEES is. Friendship....

More mitsuru. I think I will strive to get through the exams, and then take a longer break.

Okay. The call from Elizabeth told me today is the day we can start going back to Tartarus, but first, team meeting. Meeting so far like "right! We've had time to think, so what have we decided? ........ absolutely nothing!"

This feels a little different, though... I seem to recall the team making up their minds one by one, through the month? Maybe it will get there. It's been a long time.

Ow, fuck. No this is familiar. God. Ouch.... It's easy to see where junpei is coming from. That doesn't mean this is right or that it doesn't hurt. And he even knows he's lashing out wrongfully. I think I'm going with "I'm scared, too" and I'm picturing it in just the quietest, smallest voice...

I am in Pain but fuck if I don't want to write,,,,,

Putting a taiyaki in the fridge, then....what to do tonight... "No one thinks it's your fault" wrong yukari I think it's my fault

Conveniently there's a boxing game available tonight. I think it's most IC to go do something alone. And punching things sounds reasonable. Oh, it's more like a fighting game like smash, not one of the things with a punching bag to hit that I've seen at arcades on the boardwalk.

Anyway.....more mitsuru today! And even more Mitsuru because studying with the senpai duo. God this scene is so cute.... So much friendship feels....

Breaking news Mitsuru has discovered emojis. Naturally we are going with her again,

God damn it akihiko stop doing this to me! Okay, just like before, I'm gonna do the study session, then rewind and actually do the linked episode. But seriously why do they double book my team bonding. What the hell.

Junpei that is so you. Perfect blend of deep and goofy.

Okay [rewind noises] Akihiko time! Oh Jesus this got serious. Well if these guys are going to threaten Ken and the ladies, I will be happy to spontaneously take up fisticuffs. Hnk Aki who said you're allowed to do that with your voice.

Fuck yes let's beat the shit out of these guys! Ohhhh to see them all flopped and collapsing...very good. Good to know Minato can still hold his own in a brawl, even if they took away his combat versatility. ...WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME IF YOU'RE STRONG ENOUGH?

This low-key feels like shoujo manga...

God I am in agony this is everything I have wanted.... I can sense the team caring and worrying about one another....

Lays here and melts. This is so sweet....so everything. And in some ways Aki hasn't changed at all...

God I am ALMOST to exams. What do I do with my sundays now???

.....the TV has Featherman on Sundays, after the shopping program, and this time it said the next episode is "Inside the Body Politic" which stands out to me because my theater just had a big-deal event that the mayor and at least part of a congressman's office attended with a movie called The Body Politic. But also because apparently this episode features the Feathermen shrinking down to microscopic size to investigate an official's disease, which is significant to me for reasons few will understand. @unwontedfemme knows why I am pinging her.

Anyway today we will work at the movie theater. Heeeeyyyy achievement get! Now another study session, and then I get through exams and pause for a bit to be a human.

Oh no this study session is awkward.....it'll be precious soon though I'm sure. Yep, there it goes. I have no words to express myself properly. Like. Yes. This is what I wanted. This game is GETTING IT.

Right, exams done, and it looks like it will be a junpei linked episode when I return! Also I officially hit 200 hours.

Whew once again took an unintended break. RP life is crazy. I have a six-year-old trying to eat Cthulhu and a girl who's about to officiate about six weddings simultaneously in the middle of a battle.

However, I also gotta finish Reload, so we are gonna work on getting through a good chunk of Doomcember today!

.... apparently my ps4 lost power somehow since last time? Worrisome....wait no I think we did have some flickers not too long ago,, okay sense is made. Anyway. Reload. where was I, what was I up to?

At 193 hours on the clock, 12/3. Let's go do....things!