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The Power of 'Is This Good for My Brain?' A Life-Changing Decision-Making Approach

Life is a series of choices, both big and small, that shape our experiences, relationships, and overall well-being. We often navigate these choices with varying degrees of awareness, but what if a simple question could transform the way we make decisions and impact every facet of our lives?

Relationships

Our relationships are vital to our emotional health. Asking, "Is this good for my brain?" in the context of relationships means considering whether the interactions are nurturing or toxic. It can lead to healthier boundaries, better communication, and more positive connections. We become more discerning about who we let into our lives, prioritizing relationships that elevate our well-being.

Elevating Daily Choices

From fashion to nutrition, our daily choices have a profound impact on our mental health. When we ask, "Is this good for my brain?" before deciding what to wear or eat, we lean towards choices that make us feel confident and nourished. It's a mindful approach to self-care, affirming our self-worth through our daily actions. Yes, the red outfit is good for your brain it will make you happy.

Entertainment that Enriches

Our choices in entertainment significantly affect our mental state. Apply the "good for my brain" criterion to what you watch, read, or listen to, and opt for content that enlightens, inspires, and challenges our minds.

Inner Circle

"Are you good for my brain?" Surround yourselves with positive influences and create an environment conducive to growth and happiness. Cut out toxic people, gossip and negative talk.

Mindful Connection

Social media can be a double-edged sword, either connecting us or isolating us further. By asking if our online activities are "good for my brain," we are selective about the content we consume and the interactions we engage in. Clear your feed, mute, and unfollow so you keep the content good for your brain.

Work it

Is your professional struggle "Good for your brain?". Times might be tough but maybe the difficulties you are going through are making you grow. In other cases, professional hardships are just not worth it. Evaluate consistently.

Final thoughts

The question, "Is this good for my brain?" is more than a filter for decision-making; it's a life philosophy that empowers us to make choices that align with our well-being and values. It serves as a lighthouse, illuminating the path to healthier relationships, daily self-care, enriched entertainment, supportive social circles, mindful social media use, and resilience during tough times.

In an age of constant stimuli and complex choices, this question offers a guiding light for maintaining mental clarity and emotional health. The key is to use it not only when being in difficult life-crossroads but in every step of the way.

[spfqueen]

Sober October

Can’t say I was ever a hard alcohol drinker but your girl loves her wine and the motto was “Champagne can relieve all pain”. On a crisp mid-April day in the heart of Manhattan, I had my breakthrough moment and decided to continue my adventures in life without my liquid courage.

So, what happens when you decide to kick the cocktail habit for a while? You slowly transform into a little buddha in a hotter body. This is what happened to me at least - will not guarantee results.

Now, let’s dive into the changes I enjoyed after 6 months of full clarity.

The Serotonin Sitch Alcohol can mess with your serotonin levels, which are like your brain's little mood regulators. When you sip one too many, serotonin takes a nosedive, leaving you feeling down in the dumps. By giving booze the boot, those levels start to bounce back, and you're back on the emotional rollercoaster.

Sleep Sweet Sleep Even though alcohol might make you feel sleepy, the actual quality of sleep decreases significantly affecting REM sleep.

Anxiety's Adieu Alcohol and anxiety are like frenemies. A drink might seem to chill you out, but it will increase your anxiety levels in the long run.

Emotional Resilience Cutting out alcohol means you're dealing with life's curveballs with a clear head. Instead of masking emotions with a martini, you're facing them head-on, which is the true essence of emotional strength.

The Glow-Up Game When you bid adieu to the bottle, you're not just cutting calories; you're unlocking the secret to radiant skin. Alcohol will make your skin look dehydrated and speed up the aging process. Sobriety means more restful nights and waking up looking and feeling like a million bucks. It also means you come back home and are able to do a full night skincare routine without passing out looking like a clown.

No Hangover Blues Let's not forget the morning-after mood swing. Without hangovers wreaking havoc, you'll wake up feeling like you can conquer the world, rather than crawling under your duvet, cursing the day.

Facing Demons Emotional growth often means confronting those emotional demons we’ve been sweeping under the rug. Sobriety gives courage and clarity to tackle those issues, to make peace with your past, and to pave the way for the future you want.

The Circle of Authentic Connections Without the liquid buffer, relationships become more authentic and genuine. Connections are deeper and people that do not serve your purpose will eventually leave your circle. They were never meant to be there in the first place and now it is clear. Those new deeper connections become a catalyst for your emotional growth.

No Regrets Being sober means no more drunk texting, or impulsive online shopping at night. It means more money in the bank (Why do cocktails even cost $25?)

Food Fiesta Studies show that people increase their food intake by 30% after consuming alcohol. We are also more likely to make unhealthy choices the morning after a drinking night out.

Facing Fears Personal growth often means confronting fears and stepping out of your comfort zone. Sobriety is your sidekick on this journey, giving you the courage to tackle those intimidating challenges head-on.

Masks off The friend circle will get smaller, but better. Without alcohol, you are actually able to understand whose company you enjoy or not. You can also quickly tell the friends who only care about themselves (spoiler alert: they are the ones who will call you boring for not drinking or try to get you to drink on the spot).

The Gift of Time Sobriety gives you back more time that would be otherwise lost trying to recover from a bad hangover. Time for self-care, family time, or working on world domination.

The Heartfelt Benefits Lowered blood pressure and a reduced risk of heart disease are just a few more health perks of cutting down on alcohol.

The Powerhouse Liver We already consume so many toxins through our food, pollution, and various products. Your liver is your body's very own detox superhero, and alcohol is distracting it from working its magic. Cutting back on booze gives your liver a much-needed break and helps it function at its best.

Cutting alcohol is a journey of self-discovery and emotional evolution, a tale of growth, vulnerability, and authenticity. I am not telling you to cut it down forever, but let’s experiment. See how long you can go, notice what you feel, what bothers you and why, what you enjoy and why. It is not just about what's in the glass; it's about what's in your heart.

[spfqueen]

It's All F*cking Gray 

When talking about relationships and decision making is “F*ck Yes or F*ck No” the way to go? 

The idea is simple: if someone isn't wholeheartedly enthusiastic about dating you, it's best to move on. While it is easy to dismiss the gray area of relationships and be attracted to this decisive way of thinking, does this strategy evaluate all parameters of the human condition evolving in personal relationships? 

The only time to scream “F*ck Yes” or “F*ck Me, Yes” would probably be in the bedroom. Elsewhere, any other expression of interest is just a snapshot, a picture in a motion movie that will change. Especially in early-stage dating, the feelings of the other person will change based on what you put out. Are you evolving into a better version of yourself, are you who they actually thought they met, have your needs changed during the course of the relationship? 

It is not a Yes or No.

Relationships Are Dynamic

One of the main limitations of the "F*ck Yes or F*ck No" approach is its static nature. It assumes that people's feelings and interests remain constant, which is far from the truth. Relationships evolve over time, and so do our feelings toward our partners. What starts as a "maybe" in the face of a shy person can grow into a deep and lasting connection as we get to know them better. The party girl might become your new favorite person to discuss life with and the fitness guy might actually be the romantic soul you need.

The Power of Vulnerability

Building a meaningful relationship often requires vulnerability and the willingness to explore uncharted territory. Insisting on an immediate "F*ck Yes" can discourage potential partners from opening up and revealing their true selves. Embracing the uncertainty of a "maybe" allows for a more gradual and authentic connection to develop.

Growth and Change

People change, and so do their circumstances. What may not be a "F*ck Yes" today could become one in the future if both individuals are committed to personal growth and working on the relationship. Life is full of unexpected twists and turns, and sometimes the best relationships emerge from the willingness to adapt and change together. What was a “F*ck Yes” might turn into a breakup once you realize your partner does not want the kids you desperately want to have. 

Building Communication

Embracing the gray area promotes open dialogue, which is vital for resolving conflicts, growing together, and maintaining a strong connection. Knowing and owning that the attraction of your partner depends on your attitude, communication, and willingness to be the best partner for them has the beauty to keep the romance alive. One understands that a relationship is dynamic and needs constant care to thrive. In a healthy relationship, individuals should feel comfortable expressing doubts, concerns, and insecurities without fear of instant rejection.  Insisting on a binary "F*ck Yes or F*ck No" mindset can provide a false sense of stability. 

The Great Expectations

 Rushing into a "F*ck Yes" or "F*ck No" decision looks more like a sign of hopefulness and romance than logic and decisiveness. A “F*ck Yes” brings a false sense of idolization of the person and potentially the “sunk cost fallacy”. You might be more likely to stay in this because you said that F*ck Yes a while back, although the red flags have already appeared. 

On the other hand, it is not uncommon to look back on past relationships and realize that a "maybe" at the time could have blossomed into something beautiful if you weren’t occupying your head with something else at the time. 

Mr Gray Will See You Now 

The “F*ck Yes or F*ck No” might seemingly bring clarity to some. However, like everything in life, dating especially in the early stages is not black or white. It is all in the shades of gray where it is crucial to recognize the fluidity of emotions and the need for adaptability. Relationships that thrive in the gray area allow for personal growth, resilience, and the possibility of discovering deep connections that may not have been immediately apparent. True stability in a relationship comes from being able to navigate the ever-changing landscape of emotions and life circumstances together, without rigidly adhering to a binary mindset. 

[spfqueen]

In the Land of Dionysus and monsters

For years, the clinking of glasses was a soundtrack to my life, a symphony of celebrations and connections. But what happens when the clinking ceases and the sips turn into sober moments? I never consumed hard liquor, yet wine was like a social passport, my companion in celebrations and heart-to-heart conversations. I loved the wine culture, learning about it, visiting wine tastings, enjoying it with loved ones.

Genie in a Bottle

For years, I danced between two worlds—the holistic realm of yoga, meditation, and wellness, and the dazzling cityscape of international travels, social gatherings, and late-night revelry. These worlds may seem disparate, but they were, in fact, a reflection of the beautiful dichotomy that defined me. The yoga mat to ground me, the wine glass to lift me up.

Sipping Life in the Land of Dionysus

In the grand symphony of life, I once found myself savoring the sweet notes of wine amidst the vibrant nightlife of my hometown—a city that pulsated with energy, its heart intertwined with the very essence of partying. Growing up and studying in Athens, I was immersed in a culture where the spirit  of Dionysus, the Greek god of wine and revelry, enveloped us, uniting the city's wandering souls through the night's euphoria.

From Aegean Breezes to City Hustle

From the Aegean's embrace, my professional work with digital arts led me to the city of angels—Los Angeles—a place where dreams take flight like the summer winds off the Mediterranean. The glittering allure of LA nights was undeniable, and my wine glass remained a constant companion.

New York State of Wine

Then came New York City—a metropolis that never slept, a realm where I danced in the shadows of towering skyscrapers and revealed in the city's intoxicating embrace. New York beckoned with its bright lights, and I answered with late-night escapades, fueled by the clinking of glasses, the rhythm of heels on concrete, and the enchantment of its endless possibilities.

But amidst the intoxicating swirl of city life, a curious realization began to dawn—a realization that transcended the allure of the urban playground. As I navigated the bustling streets and the glitzy parties, I found myself yearning for the things I had left behind—the tranquility of nature, the tenderness of the Aegean sea, and the slow-paced embrace of a simpler life.

Region Beta Paradox

I realized that my glass had been a vessel, not only for libations but for escapism. It helped me overlook decisions and situations I have put myself into by making them more tolerable. It was like I was in a continuous Region Beta Paradox. 

Imagine navigating the city: when the destination is close, we will leisurely walk to the place. But when it is further away we will use transport and get to the destination in less time than if we actually walked to a destination even closer. This paradox teaches us that if things aren’t bad enough we will not take strong measurements to improve them rather than tolerate the situation for a longer time. With these superficial choices I was in a constant state of tolerance.

From Merlot to Me

It was a crisp, clear evening in the heart of Manhattan exactly 5 months ago, when I found myself on the precipice of transformation, a journey of shedding old skin to reveal the true essence of self. 

I never said I am not going to drink again. It never was about cutting the wine itself but rather than beginning to make conscious choices. I wanted to test how far I could go without it with no expectations. 

With my wine glass now an artifact of the past, I flew back to Greece. As I turned my focus inward, I discovered a newfound intellectual curiosity—an awakening of the soul. Like a voracious reader diving into the pages of a gripping novel, I delved into the depths of self-exploration.

Nights on the islands were calm and beautiful and would end whenever I needed them to end. Mornings now began with a morning sea swim, book reading and working out, a portal to the inner realms of consciousness. And I waited for my friends to slowly wake up from their hangover haze.

It wasn't just alcohol I bid farewell to; it was the notion that I had to please everyone but myself. The glittering cocktail parties, the dizzying social whirlwind—they all melted away to reveal a simple truth: When you are not in the wine haze you have to make conscious decisions with how to nourish your soul.

Letting Go

"In the process of letting go, you will lose many things from the past, but you will find yourself." Deepak Chopra's words echoed in my mind as I was leaving behind habits and people that did not serve my journey anymore. Letting go isn't about loss; it's about reclamation. I realized that letting go is about shedding the layers of conformity and rediscovering the essence of who you are—your true self, the self that doesn't need external validation.

“I don’t have an alcohol problem. I could never go sober because I cannot imagine deriving myself from that pleasure” I hear my friends say clueless of their oxymoron. 

In this life, I am all about experimentation. I find it extremely satisfying to identify any ego attachments, try to let them go and see what arises from each experience. Freedom and liberation only comes when one detaches from the ego’s limitations and egoic attachments. 

Would you try it? 

[spfqueen]

Vipassana

Vipassana means "seeing things as they really are" and is a meditation technique originating from India. It is the process of self-cleansing through self-observation. Impulsively once again, I decided to spend 10 days at a retreat in Asia learning this ancient meditation technique white cut off from all electronic devices and communication with the outside world.

I am a woman of science, I like evidence based, quantitative measurement and proof of theory and statistics. What the heck was I doing at a Buddhist meditation retreat right after my research fellowship?

I've always been drawn to Eastern philosophy. After earning my science degree I traveled to Bali to get a yoga instructor certification. That's where I first heard about Vipassana. I couldn't understand why anyone would willingly sign up for something so torturing. Two years later my own calling came: I felt completely disconnected from my body and disoriented from my goals. I went on the website and started looking for destinations, I filled out the declaration of interest not believing I would go. Vipassana centers exist all over the world, as well as in Greece. The only open place I found within 10 days was in Singapore. I was starting rural in two months so it had to be done asap.

My previous experience with meditation? Excruciating. I couldn't sit still for more than 10 minutes, my so-called monkey mind jumped around endlessly leaving me with negative feelings of failure and dissatisfaction. But wasn't that the goal? To go and learn how to do it.

I decided not to discuss this decision with my acquaintances, as I didn't want their opinion to influence me. I knew exactly how they were going to respond.

Three days before I left I told my brother that I was scared. He replied "It is that because you are scared you have to do it".

Two days before I flew I announced to my mother that I was going to Singapore for 10 days without a cell phone for a meditation retreat. The mother obviously freaked out. "Who organises this, what's the point, why don't you go find a place at the beach to chill instead of flying to Asia to meet hippies".

I packed my suitcase and took a taxi to the airport for a 20h trip. I commuted from the airport directly to the place appointed for pick up to the course location. I was there two hours early. "What am I doing? I have a family that loves me. Why did I have to go halfway around the world to calm my head - I could have chosen to go to a shopping spree instead. This meeting spot could easily be a white slavery organisation, I'd be kidnapped and no one would know where I was."

Slowly, Singaporeans and Indians began to appear with suitcases in hand and a look on their faces saying "I don't know what I'm doing - help me". I must have been in the right place because I looked like that too. They counted us, read our names and we boarded the bus. Half an hour later we had arrived at the camp and received our instructions and schedule for the next 10 days.

Program

04:00 wake up to the sound of the gong 04:30 - 06:30 meditation in our private room or in the hall 06:30 - 08:00 breakfast 08:00 - 09:00 group meditation in the hall 11:00 - 13:00 lunch (this was the last meal of the day) and rest 13:00 - 14:30 meditation in our private area or in the hall 14:30 - 15:30 group meditation in the hall 15:30 - 17:00 meditation in our private room or in the hall 17:00 - 18:00 afternoon tea break 18:00 - 19:00 group meditation in the hall 19:00 - 20:15 video course screening 20:15 - 21:00 group meditation in the room 20:00 lights off

Rules The participants must: Refrain from killing any living creature (including: for eating anything of animal origin. not even the mosquito that's buzzing around you) Refrain from stealing. Refrain from any sexual activity. Refrain from lying. Abstain from any kind of toxic substances. To follow polite silence - ALL conversations (and eye contact) are forbidden. There is segregation of men and women in the area. Physical exercise, yoga is prohibited. No reading, music, writing, use of cell phone and camera is prohibited. Shoulders and knees should be covered at all times, with loose and modest clothing.

Time to explore where I would sleep. Our room had the same size as my room in Athens with the small detail that it was destined for 6 women in bunk beds. How was I supposed to share a room with 5 other Asian girls without talking? The room looked like it hadn't been cleaned for a long time, the WC was two in one, bathroom and toilet. How was I, a sworn enemy of any camping activities going to last 10 days in that hell? I'd heard that many people can't complete the course and give up, but a more stubborn person than me is hard to find. Furthermore, I was a bit far from home (20 hour trip). The outdoor space was surrounded by a fence, hence limited walking area. On the other side of the fence I saw beautiful trees I have only seen in Asian movies. It was beautiful.

Days 1 - 3

The first three days were dedicated to the technique of observing the breath, called anapana. I got 5 pillows to make a little throne and be as comfortable as possible. For the first 2 days western life occupied my mind. I was thinking of captions for my fantastic instagram posts for clicks I'd never taken. I walked around our fenced area to count how many minutes I completed it in (it was 4), so I could repeat it as many times as it takes to walk 30 minutes a day. For self entertainment purposes, I walked barefoot on the grass to soak in the daily midday rain. Remember the rules. Besides, it was so hot that I had to go into every meditation hour in a wet shirt to endure.

I generally don't dream, but after the first day of meditation every time I went to sleep (naps twice during the day and sleep at night) I had very vivid dreams that I remembered clearly afterwards. I started to get used to myself without make up and actually like my face (note that at the time my friends never saw me without winged eyeliner and 10 days make up free was a personal record).

Day 4

On the fourth day I found out that so far we haven't been practicing vipassana meditation. That day we had to pick a sitting position and stay there for two hours without any movement. For two hours you had to harness your mind telling you to stretch your leg, scratch your shoulder, open your eyes. And just when you think you're not going to make it, you do. My leg went completely numb and I had to give it sometime before I was able to walk again.

Every day that went by, I got better at that technique. I had become more relaxed, and more "present". I noticed the trees, each leaf and trunk, the sunrise and sunset, the colors and position of the sun. I felt happier, so much so that I wondered if they were adding any substances in our food.

Slowly, I began to understand the meaning behind each rule. We couldn't eat heavily because it was hard to stay alert for meditation on a full stomach. We couldn't talk because, as they say, "comparison is the thief of joy." Each student was at a different stage in their path and each path is different. Also writing, cell phones and talking were ways we could avoid introspection. Exercise, even light yoga would be distraction as well.

Days 6 - 9

On the 6th day, the vipassana technique began. From then on, three times a day for one hour we had to stay still. Normally you should not label your meditation as good or bad. It is simply what it is. However, I was extremely proud of my meditation session on the 7th day. An hour of sitting went by like 5 minutes. It seemed unbelievable to me. After the session, I went outside, sat on the grass and observed the nature around me. Never in my life, had I ever felt such explosion of joy inside of me before. The feelings were unprecedented. I couldn't remember myself being so happy. I started wondering when was the last time I was happy. The last times I had felt happy were when I had published in one of the best dermatology journals, when I had presented at that American World Congress, when I went on a date with Mr X, Y, Z. It was all external ego boosters. And there, I found myself having created this huge feeling - all an inside job, with no gym endorphins, no shopping, no contact with people around me. I was crying.

I was thinking about The Beatles, one of my favorite bands, who had gone to meditate in India. I was singing "Let it be" in my head and, for the first time, with Goenka's vipassana teaching, the song really made sense.

Day 10

We were finally allowed to talk to each other. I so was eager to ask about their experiences, what had prompted them to come. I learned that Vipassana is quite popular in Asian countries. I was surprised to find out that many came for no particular reason, just for the experience. Some said they were looking for answers, others said they were depressed and wanted to heal. All of them felt grateful that they came. I felt a constant smile on my face which I could also see on everyone around me.

I don't know what exactly it was that prompted me to try Vipassana. But it was the best trip of my life.

Was it easy? Not at all. Should you go for it? No doubt. If I had to put into one single phrase what how felt, it would be "I was put back into my body". I can't help but wonder if I would have handled things differently if I had done vipassana earlier in my life. I made a promise to myself that I would continue meditating and would repeat the course that made me grateful to be me.