#blatantly did not give a shit but at that point it was too late for me and I was committed to my english degree

[wutheringmights]

I read "The End of Everything (Astrophysically Speaking)" by Katie Mack (of Hozier fame, of course), and it made me feel really stupid. This is a "pop" science book that, for all its complicated cosmology, it meant to be digestible to common lay men like me. But, man. My brain just could not grasp it.

I don't think it's Mack's fault. If I read a paragraph, I could summarize what it was saying. It was when concept A had to be combined with concept B that I felt all comprehension slip through my fingers. I would read the same page thrice, hoping that it would become clearer the closer attention I paid to it. But, nope. Water through a sieve.

My problem is that as an adult, I am starting to regret how fiercely I avoided taking rigorous STEM classes as a kid. While I was okay at math, I could never grasp science. I did everything in my power to take the easy science classes from middle school, high school, then college professors who weren't really trying to make me learn something.

Doing so kept my grade point average up, but as an adult, I'm realizing how little I understand how the world works. I have friends who can give mini-lectures about the types of clouds in the sky or how nutrients in food works, and so on. Me? I can talk about science and technology from the perspective of the humanities (a great example would be the intersection of racism and technology, as described in Ruha Benjamin's "Race After Technology," which I highly recommend), but I don't truly understand how the world works.

I've been a bit desperate to expand my knowledge as of late. I've even come close to buying an algebra workbook so that I can work on my math skills again.

I picked Mack's book because I love space and learning about stars and planets. It turned out to be more complicated than I had originally anticipated.

I'll try rereading it again at some point, hopefully when I've learn a bit more about science first. In the meantime, I can at least appreciate the times when Mack's speculation about how the universe works and how it will end turned philosophical. There were enough moments of poetics that I could appreciate right now, at least.

Kids, don't be like me. Take your damn science classes seriously.

[strawberryya]

lover // over the moon

seungkwan x reader

synopsis: late-night-date-night for you and your boyfriend Seungkwan ended up as people-watching and karaoke… and maybe some kisses?

currently playing: lover // over the moon - alice phoebe lou

word count: 2.1k

genre/contains: fluff, established relationship, gn!reader, pda, karaoke, kissing, assuming things about people, mentions of food, alcohol, and weed

rating: sfw, all ages

a/n: hihi hello, today I offer you Seungkwan fluffy date night~ THANK U @lovelyhan FOR LITERALLY EVERYTHING YOU SAID ABOUT THIS / PROOFING IT FOR ME <3333

.・゜✭・..・。.・゜✭・. .・。.・゜✭・..・。.・゜✭・..・。.・゜✭・..・。.・゜✭・.

“Her,” he said and your eyes followed the direction of his gaze, your eyes landing on a woman, around fifty or sixty you guessed, and dressed in all purple. 

“Ah yes, a purple lady, a fine specimen too…” you began, imitating David Attenborough and letting your brain spin a story of assumptions about the lady you had just laid your eyes on. 

“Here with two of her old friends that she only sees three times per year for their birthdays because they have no common interests anymore. Definitely works with fiber arts because there is no way anyone would give away a poncho gorgeous as that one. This is, of course, not to mention the fact that she’s on a strict pescetarian diet, but not the regular shmegular one, but one where she consumes almost exclusively everything that comes from the sea.” 

“She tried weed back in the day, and brings it up whenever someone insinuates that she never does anything fun,” Seungkwan declared confidently, nodding as he continued observing the lady who had now taken her seat along with her two companions at the fancy table set for them by the other end of the restaurant. 

“The man next to her is getting the stinky eye from her - he has for sure been flirting with the third one for years, but our purple lady can’t say anything about it because of the fact that he keeps a huge secret of hers.”

Seungkwans eyes lit up, “He caught the purple lady seeing the other ladies’ ex-husband!” he exclaimed, just a tad too loud, making the people closest to your little table in the corner of the restaurant turn to glance at you both. You both stared at each other with huge eyes, trying to hold back your laughs as you waited for them to go back to ignoring you. Once they did you both began giggling like crazy, “Okay, okay, what about those two teens?” you said, throwing the freestyle ball over to Seungkwan. 

“Mmh, yeah so, they’re cousins, and they were close as kids right, but now they have absolutely nothing in common, and they’re probably so annoyed at each other,” he said, picking up his glass to take another sip of his wine. 

“Naah, I can’t agree with that. Okay that they’re cousins, but they’re definitely close, just look at the way they’re literally fighting with their eyes!” 

Seungkwan put his glass down and squinted towards the two sitting on opposite sides of their table, both seemingly trying to fight the urge to kick each other in the shin. 

“Nevermind, I see it now,” he admitted, “They’re waiting for the dinner to end so they can go to a party one of their friends is throwing, and that one,” he pointed rather blatantly at one of the teens, “that one is hiding a bottle they stole in their bag,” he said with a tone of irrefutability that made you grin. 

“The other one is mad because they stole it from their house before they left and they know that they’re the only one that will get in trouble for the whole thing if anyone catches on to what they’re doing since they’re supposed to be the responsible and sensible one,” you added with a chuckle, watching how the teens were now sticking their tongues out at each other and loving how childish they were acting. 

“Kids, always at each others’ throats doing illegal shit,” Seungkwan said, shaking his head in disapproval making you burst out in laughter and subsequently putting a huge smile on Seungkwan’s lips. 

“What about those two then?” he said still looking at you, you looked around, confused as to who exactly he meant. 

“Which ones, the old lady and the young guy with the hipster beard?” 

“No, the young couple off in the corner, snickering and giggling like a couple of idiots,” he said with a smirk playing at his lips as he picked up his glass and waited for you to catch on. 

“Ooh,” you said as you got what he was trying at, “those two. Yeah, they’re definitely idiots alright. Look at them sitting there, having finished their desert forever ago, just getting tipsier with every glass they order,” you said and rolled your eyes as if you were just so embarrassed for the poor suckers. 

“And they keep staring at people and whispering to each other, do you think they’re criminals seeing who they can scam for a free meal?” he gasped with sarcastic shock. 

“Or are they those types of people, who are so caught up in their own bubble that they don’t even realize that everyone can hear when they whisper incredibly loudly to each other as they make up stories about people’s lives for fun,” you said and put your hand over your mouth, being as melodramatic as you could without breaking character. 

Seungkwan nodded, “They’re definitely disgustingly in love with one another, absolute suckers for each other, and I would bet money on the fact that the boyfriend over there is so stupidly in love with them that he has been wanting to lean over the table and kiss them the entire night. I bet he’s already impatient and ready to leave so he can be all over them as soon as they get out of here,” he said with a warm smile as he spoke. 

“I bet they have been wanting to leave so they can kiss him properly too,” you said, your smile matching his and you both chuckled, indeed so caught up in your little bubble in the corner to even care about how anyone that overheard you would have shaken their head and muttered: “fucking people in love that have no sense of when and where you can be all lovey-dovey,” and rolling their eyes at you while they thought back to when they were the ones sitting at that table fawning over the one they were so madly in love with. 

“I’ll get the check if you get our coats,” he said and you agreed and went to fetch your coats where you had checked them in a couple of hours ago. 

When you had gotten them you waited by the exit when you saw Seungkwan walking towards you. His hair was half dragged back to reveal a bit of his forehead and as he walked up to you he casually put his wallet back into his pants as he walked up to you with a huge grin plastered to his face. His expression, combined with the hue of pink his cheeks had turned, revealed just how tipsy he had gotten during the few hours you had eaten at the restaurant and you couldn’t help but think about how adorable yet handsome he looked. 

You pushed the door open and walked out into the night air of the city still alive and shining with life, the cold feeling surprisingly pleasant against your skin. You had barely gotten out on the sidewalk when you felt your entire world become a sudden blur, the hand on your waist and the lips that attached themselves to yours being the only thing keeping you grounded and simultaneously sending you soaring through the night sky. 

When you opened your eyes as Seungkwan pulled back you both smiled widely at each other and you stole a quick peck from his warm lips that tasted of the wine you had just been sipping on before you stabilized yourself and laughed at how he had fulfilled exactly what he had said he wanted just a moment ago inside the restaurant. 

“Wanna go somewhere else?” he asked, his eyes glimmering in the light of the streetlights shining down upon you. 

“What if… we went to a karaoke bar?” you suggested, wiggling your eyebrows as you walked hand in hand with him and turned so you were facing him, walking almost backward as you tried to wiggle your way to a yes from him. 

He chuckled, his eyes sparkling again in the warm light, “Yes yes, let’s go sing but please, get back here so you don’t fall and die today.”

You got a smug expression on your face, very satisfied with your persuasion skills this evening, mentally pinning ‘eyebrow wiggling’ as a thing that works on tipsy Seungkwan before you obliged and turned yourself back around so you wouldn’t risk falling over or walking into anything.

The giddy excitement from the idea of getting to scream your lungs out at the nearest karaoke place made you speed up your steps, dragging Seungkwan until you got too far ahead of him and you let go of his hand. 

“Come on Boo, let’s gooooooo!” you shouted out into the calm street as you skipped down the sidewalk with your boyfriend jogging up to catch up with you. 

.・゜✭・..・。.・゜✭・. .・。.・゜✭・..・。.・゜✭・..・。.・゜✭・..・。.・゜✭・.

When you reached the bar closest to where you had eaten your dinner, you immediately got into a room and began singing all the songs in your repertoire; of course, messing up about 79% of every note yourself while Seungkwan was hitting at least 62% more notes than you yourself managed to. 

You were putting on your absolute best performance, shouting “A WHOLE NEW WORLD” into the mic as you spun around and pretended to be flying through the night air on a carpet with Seungkwan and your imaginary monkey. 

“Wooooo BOO!!” you shouted when it was time for Seungkwan’s solo part of the song, and when he began singing you cheered, throwing fake roses as his feet as you pretended to cry to his performance as Jasmine. You got up and finished your performance shouting whenever you saw a camel or a cool river in the desert you flew over on the screen in front of you. 

You were both absolutely exhausted from your extravagant performance when the song came to an end, both of you falling together like two sacks of potatoes right next to each other on the sofa placed toward the wall of the room. When you heard the first notes of “I’ve had the time of my life” you couldn’t help but smile and look over at Seungkwan who was just as wiped out as you, mainly putting the track on as a calming and nostalgic background instrumental. 

Neither of you could help it though, the impulse to sing overtook you. You both tried your best to follow along for a while, but in the end you both gave up in favor of just breathing as you looked up at the ceiling and the lights that shifted from green to purple to some sort of reddish-orange hue.

Chuckling at your exhaustion, you turned your heads to look at one another. “Your Jasmine is incredible,” you breathed out, smiling when Seungkwan smirked at you and kissed you hastily before saying “Thank you, you weren’t too shabby yourself.” 

You scoffed at his compliment, but continued to stare at him where he was sitting; admiring his side profile and being entranced by the way his chest was still heaving a bit from having been active for so long. 

“Damn, now I need to kiss you,” you said, sighing in a resigning manner, making Seungkwan look at you with a small smile on his lips, and his eyes glimmering in the lights coming from all around.

“Is that so? I mean, you’re gonna have to be the one to move if you wanna kiss me that bad,” he explained with a smug look on his face, making you pout for just a second before you heaved yourself off the couch only to sit down across his lap a foot away, placing your arms around his neck and playing with the hair on the back of his head. 

“Happy?” you smiled, knowing he was from the way he was grinning. 

“Very happy,” he said and you kissed him, slow and sweet. 

“Me too,” you whispered when you pulled your lips off of his for a second before you kissed him again, both of you smiling like the lovesick fools you were. But now the last chorus of the song was about to play and as the beat dropped you both pulled apart and began belting the “I’ve had, the time of my life~” before you looked back at each other. 

Now you were both laughing messes, this wasn’t the first ‘belting a song makeout intermission’ you had experienced together, and it probably wasn’t the last, but it didn’t matter. Nothing matters because you’re his, and he’s yours, and you’re in love, and absolutely nothing else could matter more. 

.・゜✭・..・。.・゜✭・. .・。.・゜✭・..・。.・゜✭・..・。.・゜✭・..・。.・゜✭・.

Reblogging and commenting is highly appreciated!! Hearing what you thought is what makes writing and being here overall so much fun! Ty and ily 💕

[navigation post!]

[jaimeshonorhardon]

ned/jaime fic concept

modern au jaime post figuring out his trauma works at an animal shelter for dogs

Single dad Ned finds a bunch of “puppies” by the road and is like idk what kind these are and takes them to get checked and vetted up before taking them home and he goes to jaimes shelter and like he doesn’t expect him there and Jaime leaves him with a bad taste in his mouth but like his kids will love these puppies and is like hey can u tell me what these are and give them their shots so I can go and jaimes just like u dumb sexy idiot I have bad history with these are WOLVES how did you find theses?????? U were gonna give them to children ?????? Jaime instantly needing to have sex with this fucking idiot. Post cersei he hasn’t been with anyone in years due to insecurities/major blows to his confidence (cersei trauma and no hand trauma) and the lack of practice in genuine flirting besides a little thing he had with his bestie (brienne) but they were both going thru some shit and are just family now but he literally hasn’t been interested in anyone either (demisexual jaime rights) so he literally is just stumbling and blushing and then just blatantly flirting but ned thinks that’s just how he’s always been but maybe a little more nervous than usual so doesn’t really get it

But also later for jaime truly falling for him it’s because ned is just such a good dad (obviously ruggedly hot but that’s besides the point) with a heart of gold like he’s a single dad of fucking 6 plus Theon so 7 and is super busy with his company but makes time for all of those fucking kids and all of their activities and for ned—ned is just like wow Jaime is really good with these dogs they really like him animals know best plus he’s very very good at his job just something about an efficient man that animals like he seems changed and a good person now plus he’s gorgeous and my kids don’t mind him I’ll let myself love him :)

but Jaime at first is just purely horny for ned (that’s just what he tells himself) and then eventually is like oh no…..I am in love with this old caring father while said father at first had no idea what was going on but after they fuck he immediately and silently in his head decides he’s romantically seeing where things go and falls in love gradually and naturally compared to jaimes bomb of a realization one day as he has no practice in this besides having always been “in love” (imagine post trauma Jaime also air quoting) with cersei and ned was fully married and in love before

FUCK and of course Jaime has to go over periodically to check on the wolves growth and behavior cuz like that’s what ALL vets do right …right??!!?? He tells himself yes of course 😅 I’m not being too secretly crazy in love I’m just being helpful! He won’t catch on! Ned goes from oblivous to begrudgingly accepting into making it apart of his life and something to look forward to with Jaime in their initial stages of romance while jaime is just internally screaming that he hopes ned doesn’t catch onto his feelings and how much he needs ned in his life and cares and if he rejects him cuz cersei never gave a single shit about any of his true feelings and he cannot handle losing the best man he’s ever met even as a kind of friend he’s fucking and helping taking care of his wolves and kids (jaime is their second dad at this point he’s the only one who doesn’t know)

He also thinks ned doesn’t know what to do with all these dogs anyway he’s a busy man with 7 kids he needs help these poor wolves probably aren’t getting proper care and the children need rides to school which is on his way to work (jaime is the one not getting proper care and ned can tell the man is low key struggling on his own why not just add another one into the pack more the merrier)

And of course ned has a huge property and one of the pups gets lost late at night and he calls Jaime to help and they get snowed in at some cabin at the end of the property where the little pup took shelter (probs ghost bc he’s harder to find and quiet so it would take until nightfall) and ya know ~things~ happen between the two men

I need those two mfs to be locked in a cabin so bad idk …

[bloodyproudpotterhead]

That whole reddit fiasco is seriously condescending and dismissive it gives me the ick. So I’m gonna write issues that I had with that finale.

Many of the things that he said just doesn’t make sense. The defense for Roy & Jamie weird behavior is “men are dumb” and “Keeley doesn’t need anyone”. You think we don’t know that Keeley doesn’t need anyone to feel complete? WE DO! The show never implied that she has problems being alone anyway. Also, you can’t fit the complexity of feminism and girlhood into one “girlboss” shape. That’s just reductive. The moment I read this, I knew that that part of storyline is written by men.

Another problem: Defending Jane behavior. Stalking your boyfriend’s friend? Shredding your boyfriend passport?? And to dismiss them as ‘quirky behavior’??? To me, that sounds like giving a pass to toxic, abusive relationships. 

Another one: To leave the ending of Ted & Michelle relationship as ambiguous? BIG NO. To even entertain the idea gives a bad taste in my mouth. This is the woman that begged him to sign the divorce paper, for christ’s sake. And they never built of the idea of them getting back together. They even introduce Dr. Jacob into the story. Was that truly necessary? Was the point to show that Michelle needs to be in another relationship to see Ted for who he really is? 

Also: Ted wasn’t at the wedding? Because he’s at Henry’s practice?? What even was that. You cannot actually tell me that they think this through. What, your kid can skip practice for 1 day to attend your best friend’s wedding?

Let’s even go to the boat guy: You cannot tell me this is the ending they plan for Rebecca from the start. If it did, why not build that narrative instead wasting your time introducing unnecessary new characters? Let us get to know the man better so we know that Rebecca will be taken care of by a man who truly knows her. 

Another issue: Henry. When did we ever see him actually missing his father? Because i feel like I missed that. Even that part of the story was told through other character, Dorothy, and not Henry himself. Why not have a scene where the kid express this himself? Even when he had problems at home, he can solve it himself (the bully story). 

Second to last: Ted himself. I don’t mind if their plan from the start was for him to have a Mary Poppins-like journey. What I had problems with is the way they build that theme. They’re too focusing on symbolism, they never truly build the narrative itself. If Ted was supposed to go back to Kansas from the start, why not show him what life he had and going to have there. This was never at any point shown or even hinted at. Also, Mary Poppins, unlike Ted, didn’t leave her hometown with a partner whose love for her has expired. They began Ted’s arc with showing him that his marriage is practically over that he needs to move an ocean away from her. That’s just saying to me that Ted desperately needs a new start (which they clearly displayed multiple times).

Lastly: The editing and the baiting. There are so many intentional edits and camera works and parallels that are meant to teased if not blatantly directed towards Ted & Rebecca. Why zoom in on the matchbook? The tiny soldiers?? Them talking at the hallway??? I can go on and on on this alone. Even to the opening scene of the finale. Just for shits and giggles for audiences who root for the two main leads? Honestly, that to me just felt cruel. Even if their intention was for them to be platonic soulmate, their words not mine, they never really addressed any of the elephant in the room anyway. The call, September 1991. So all I hear is them saying stuff and not following up on that. ALSO, to tease the idea of romcom MULTIPLE TIMES both on and off the show, even referring many times to Nora Ephron, only to laugh at your audience for believing in good old romance felt truly disrespectful to the late director. And as a long time fan of hers, I won’t let that slide. 

My point is: You can’t just patch bad writing with callbacks while ignoring a huge chunk of the character arcs you’ve built. That’s such a disservice to the beloved characters so many people have grown to love. 

And to say we take it personally? Excuse me, when your audience take your work personally, you should take it as a compliment because that means they connect with your work. So much for a show that preaches about being kind, I guess.

Anyway, I always feel sad and embarrassed when writers have to defend their decisions to their own audience. And that is what they/he did. You can elaborate on what you think happen post-finale to your audience, or even explain your intention, but when a big crowd of your audience question it, maybe you should take a look at the way you frame your story before you point fingers at them.

[galaxysharks]

Last time I read the Madlyn Office AU uhm Maddox and Ashlyn are in a rocky situation that ended up Maddox telling Ashlyn that she was offered another job and Ashlyn remember what EJ had told her. I was just wondering what happened to them after that?

Ashlyn Bursts through the door to the office building. Ignoring the elevator, she sprints up the stairs, using the end of the railing to swing around and dart down the hallway.

Careful not to drop the wrapped package under her arm, she had to get there.

This has to work.

After she failed to respond to Maddox pouring her heart out, she'd tried to catch-up to her, but the Techie had already managed to make herself scarce.

She did run into Jet though. He was......less than receptive to her, at least at first. Apparently he wasn't about to let 'another rich white girl drag Maddie through hell before breaking her heart in the middle of an office event' ......which opened more questions, and made Ash feel even worse.

After an hour or so of frankly humiliating pleading, Jet did decide he believed her and offered to help. His help was a phone number for her to get something made for Maddox.

Specifically it was the number of their adoptive father Dewey. Which again added questions, she didn't even know they were adopted. Jet did warn her that she'd have a much harder time convincing Dewey, or Janine if she picked up, Maddox was their favorite.

Ash awkwardly tried to assure him that he was loved just the same, but he interrupted her and said it was obvious and he was fine with it. "A LOT of people in our lives have blatantly preferred me over her, and they weren't as nice about it, I can live with Dewey and Janine loving me just okay"

So, armed with a chance, Ashlyn went home. Later the next day, she called the number, and started a video chat with Maddox's adoptive parents. And clearly Maddie had called before, because they were initially less than thrilled to see her. After a long, long conversation that felt like taking a test she hadn't studied for, Janine finally agreed that they would help, Dewey grunting beside her.

And so here she was. Hoping she isn't too late. Quinn and Uncle Cash were in the office today to ask Maddox for her final verdict and in theory drive her to the main office, if she accepted.

Ashlyn ran into the Tech Support office, shamelessly shoving past her uncle and clumsily stopping herself with Maddie's corner desk.

"Wait!.....huff.....wait......oh my god, the stairs....."

Her sudden appearance has clearly startled the room, with loud exclamations of alarm. Maddox had a guarded look to her, but patiently waited for Ashlyn to catch her breath. Taking a final deep breath in, Ashlyn started her speech:

"Maddie I like you! I like you so so much! And I don't know why I couldn't say it before, but I can say it now, and I need you to know. I'm so sorry I ever made you think this wasn't serious for me, I've never felt this way about anyone before! I can't ask you not to go, because this is a great opportunity, but I have to ask that you at least take this with you." Ashlyn pushed the package into Maddie's hands.

Maddox stared at her for a moment before carefully peeling away the brown paper. Within the wrapping was a thin cross section to a pine tree, sanded and polished. Carved into the wood, "Ashlyn 🧡 Maddox" stood out.

A little cringe, maybe but Ashlyn is far past the point of pride in this endeavor anyway. Recognizing the handwriting and carving skills, Maddox's eyes snapped back up.

"Ash, this is..."

"You're parents scare the shit out of me. Also that's from your backyard, or theirs? The video call said it was coming from California."

The little grin that had started to form at the tree plate split as Maddie began to laugh. It was the most beautiful sound Ashlyn had ever heard. What she wouldn't give for a recording of that laugh, so that she might spend the rest of her life waking up to that sound.

"Ahem, as touching as this is, we kind of need an answer Maddox." And God, there have been dozens of times throughout her life that she wished Cash Caswell would just go mute, but maybe none with so much ferver as now.

Quinn for her part just looked thrilled with the amount of drama she's gotten to witness.

"I.....I'm so sorry sir, I really appreciate the opportunity, but I think I need to stay at the outlet office." Maddox said, never taking her eyes off of Ashlyn.

"Very well, it's a shame that a highschool relationship has taken precedence over your career, but--"

"actually Cash, we take pride in having the most state of the art system in the country, correct? I don't see any reason why Maddox could not perform her duties from the outlet office. If that is amenable to you?" Quinn spoke up finally, an amused and playful glare directed at Maddox, noticing that the teen had curled up under Ashlyn's arm, leaning into her side.

Ruffled, but too smart to pass up the opportunity, Cash agreed, but stated there would be a two month probationary period, after which Maddox would be transferred to the main office if her work showed any dip in quality.

And if Ashlyn got teased for the next two weeks about being extra with everything.....she could live with that.

[talenlee]

Hecsenfore, A Necrostate in Principle

There’s this quote, from The Great Dictator:

To those who can hear me, I say – do not despair. The misery that is now upon us is but the passing of greed – the bitterness of men who fear the way of human progress. The hate of men will pass, and dictators die, and the power they took from the people will return to the people. And so long as men die, liberty will never perish…

So long as men die, liberty will never perish. This is an idea that works for a variety of places to represent bad rulership, to show undying and unrelenting leaders. In Cobrin’Seil, I use places with undead rulership enough to give them their own technical name, that of a necrostate. A necrostate refers to a polity in which the ruler or ruling class is represented by the dead. In the real world, there is an extant necrostate (North Korea), but that’s ceremonial, in much the same way that a theocracy doesn’t need a real god to exist for the power to be situated in the hands of religious leadership.

But where dictators do not die, where the ruling class do not naturally cede power as human structural limits, can you form a reasonable, tolerable, culturally diverse and stable necrostate? How does something with an immortal, predatory ruling class get created and managed in a way that still creates a place where the people who live there are not in danger of permanent loss of life or exploitation, and what can sustain this kind of place over time? Is it possible to create a necrostate that, at least in the context of social and political structures, is not worse than places with things like noble orders?

What does that look like, and how do we get there?

In Cobrin’Seil, there are three necrostates I’ve discussed in public:

Voolfardisworth, which is a classic Westerners-ideas-of-Romanian-Transylvanian culture, a full on Castlevania-em-up land of valleys with different vampire lords each trying to cook up the best vampire hunter to send out to other, nearby vampire lords, but not too nearby, and also, hopefully, with crucial weaknesses that they can exploit when that vampire hunter comes back home to clean up. This is to be a blunt metaphor for the way that nobility and landed gentry fundamentally treat people like commodies.

The Osteon, which is an industrialised Victorian style nation where instead of relying on coal and whale oil, all the mass-production technology is based on constructs made out of human bones. This is to be a blunt metaphor for the way that early capitalism treats people like commodities.

Uxaion, a venture capital necrocybermagepunk city with sprawling gangs and a very cruel vision of human capital, constantly trying the Most Exciting New Thing in an attempt to exploit a constantly flowing living population. This is to be a blunt metaphor for the way that late capitalism treats people like commodities.

Anyway, so like, if you go by this, in Cobrin’Seil, you might look at the setting and go: Okay, so necrostates are shit. Like the least bad of them is – well I don’t know, the least bad might be the Osteon or Voolfardisworth, but like, we can all agree that Uxaion is definitely the worst right? And I think that that represents a weakness in my worldbuilding. Uxiaon was made to be an explicit jab at silicon valley culture, and the other two are part of The Horror Peninsula, the Szudetken, where I wanted to give people places to make characters who could very clearly point to the world around them and go ‘I fight that.’ But that isn’t that I think necrostates are inherently bad, inasmuch as I don’t think, in a fantasy roleplaying setting, that it’s impossible to have organisational structures in general that don’t suck.

I want to make sure in Cobrin’Seil there are a few necrostates that manage to crest the lofty goal of ‘not blatantly evil’ and maybe even tap into the fantasy of like, what if we did have the dead around, what if there was a way that that was… not bad? From that impulse then there was the project of creating a space, and investigating it deeply, about a Necrostate that isn’t as simple as a place that sucks, and what a Necrostate that’s a good place to live is going to look like.

First of all, to understand the origin of this place, Hecsenfore, you need to understand the international legal system of the Eresh Protectorate, and the nature of Vampires in Cobrin’Seil. The Eresh Protectorate, I’ve written tons about that you can dig into that at your leisure. For now, the simple idea is the Eresh Protectorate is a set of interconnected city-states that hold a reasonably coherent, reliable and honestly, ‘good’ legal system that you have to comply to if you want to join.

Vampires are immortal undead beings that through a variety of different processes, come to subsist on stolen life force through a predatory means. They are very strong, they are very fast, they have some strange rules they have to live by. The typical Vampire is a monster that eats people and controls populations to eat them later over time. One of the things that Vampires tend to be unified around are extremely weirdo brains, with behaviour that, disconnected, look like strange archaic laws set up by storytellers.

In the context of Cobrin’Seil, the weird behaviours of Vampires are because when they die and become Vampires, the disconnect from normal biological life brings with it a lot of strength: they no longer need to eat or drink to sustain themselves, and therefore, whatever magic fills their bodies makes their bodies stronger. Thing is, this is also true of their minds – Vampires with small or subtle neurodivergent traits have those traits amplified to the nth degree. Every single Vampire shares some traits with autism spectrum, ADHD, and OCD, because the natural and normal anxiety responses that those effects often trigger are amplified in their minds. And just like people with those conditions, these are managed behaviours that individuals can learn about and take care of and don’t need them to be pathologised.

Vampires aren’t bad because of their brain worms. They are bad because they eat people. But they don’t have to, and from there we get the genesis of Hecsenfore. It starts with a single Vampire lord, considering the Eresh Protectorate. From the perspective of a long lived leader, the Eresh Protectorate are a fantastic deal for offering stability and long-term growth. They’re one of the longest lasting organisations, they have had no major revolutionary actions and their generally hands-off position towards their city states makes them excellent for trade and any special interests. There’s an entire Eresh city that feeds the protectorate pretty much nothing but sheep products, and if your special interest is things like ancient magical books or even just medicinal sciences, you probably can do worse than saddle your existing project to this body. Looks good.

But also, the Protectorate is a fantasy organisation based around the fantasy of ‘what if a country doesn’t have to suck shit’ and has a lot of competing factions that are, generally, holding different philosophies in a positive direction even if I don’t think that say, churches are great. But okay, point is, the Protectorate has a moral high ground to look at candidate cities to tell them whether or not to fuck off. They’ve told Uxaion, the hypercapitalist silicon valley undead land to go fuck themselves, for example. But they also have a standard of living and maintain that by doing things like ‘actually protecting people’ and ‘preventing revolution through abundance’. It’s a magical setting, the church can make food for people, a lot of problems can be handled with a central organisation.

Which means you can’t just sign up to join up because if you suck shit, they’re probably going to lose your paperwork, or tell you things you need to change to make the paperwork valid. Mostly, this doesn’t happen because people who know they can’t fulfill the requirements and meet the trade laws of the protectorate already can’t become members.

So imagine this like, Vampire, right.

Yes of course they’re hot. Really hot.

Big nerd, though, because again, that Vampire anxiety. They have a name, but it’s not important – you’re not going to meet Lochestow anywhere most of the time for the purpose of this conversation. You’re probably not going to hear him invoked either.

Anyway, so this vampire has a citadel, maybe they’ve even made it into a full blown city to start with. This citadel has the people in it they feed from, and art and literature and its own culture and you have a city, you have a thing and the Protectorate, over there, wants cities. Easy, then, they say something like:

hey, what laws do I have to follow to become part of the Protectorate, and how hard are those laaws to set up?

There are trade and safety laws, those are almost all immaterial and unimpressive to this Vampire, which means they can probably comply with them really easily. They check them over and just get someone in the organisation of the citadel to just go ahead and enforce them. Make an enforcement department if they need that.

And they’re like uh okay but what about the murder one.

What?

There’s a law against murder?

well I mean, this vampire thinks, we don’t have to murder, we just have to drink blood. So… y’know, we just keep murders from happening. I mean murders can be illegal and we can still have people break a few laws.

Yeah but, the advisor points out, there’s kinda a bit of a concern here where we’re like, actual predators that eat people, maybe they might not consider us inherently trustworthy on the ‘we don’t do murders’ front?

And thus begins the slow, steady ratcheting towards a totally different moral perspective. Because most of the time a ruler – any ruler! – runs into a problem like this, that says the Protectorate’s standards will involve changing your life and the way you rule, they respond with something akin to ‘screw that, I don’t care about the Protectorate that badly.’

But this Vampire thinks of this as a problem, a puzzle. Something that can be solved. Just set things up so the Vampires don’t need to kill humans to feed. That’s a thing they can do, it’s just a matter of taking enough blood in the right time frame, and a population large enough can absorb that. And this is math, and Vampires love to do math. Well, some do.

Then there are corollaries, details, contingent situations. How do you keep people from being injured when you feed? Formalise the process, make it so there’s no need to struggle and Vampires only feed reasonable amounts. Oh hang on we have a thing for this, this can just be a tax. Make it so people can pay blood for their taxes. But wait, the response is, now there’s a problem where suddenly people are going to be squeezed for their taxes, this means destitution can be addressed with lifeblood, that’s going to be a problem, people exchanging money for blood, because blood can be exchanged for money. That means these regulations can’t allow that.

There needs to be caps on how much blood you can give, we need to regulate that, and if we need to regulate that, then we need to make sure nobody can double pay to go over their limit, okay, so, okay we have these blood drawers who take the blood, and that means we need a central reserve and control system for that, but that, that isn’t hard at all, and if we set that up right, that’s great, that’s a job, that’s a thing that we can have enduring and constantly work on, we love a project. But if we’re tracking these blood drawers we need to be able to track everyone in the city, and we need to make sure they’re healthy if they’re contributing blood and that means…

Look it’ll be easier, it’ll be tidier if we give the mortals universal health care. A few clerics as blood drawers, heal people and get pure blood, no need for hunts, no need for risk, and now if we just keep the population numbers high enough then we’re talking about a completely tenable situation. Then the next step is the protectorate presenting a problem where the numbers need to be dialled in. You need to make sure nobody is incentivised to kill someone else to donate blood. Okay, so fine, we have a guard system in place. Fine, the Protectorate want that anyway. Wait, that doesn’t address crime? What does? Oh, okay, okay, fine, fucking, so everyone has basic income, rent is free for basic housing, and that guard system group can be about enforcing and publically accounting these Best Vampire Practices. Oh, they can be seen as the way the non-Vampires show their investment in the good of the city too, call them the Stakeholders and then, somewhere in all this, somewhere along the line, this city starts to become a pretty cool place to live, if you’re someone who can, culturally, handle the vibes and recognise that every three months, you’re giving blood.

Then pivot across to the Protectorate. This looks sus as shit right? Like this vampire has basically started whole new systems inside their city and they’re now doing everything they can, OVERCORRECTING, really, and now they’re patiently building all these systems to make their city a valid Protectorate city.

Don’t know.

Don’t trust it.

Just, y’know, keep an eye on it.

What’s more, every time they send an investigatory team to this city, they come back remarking on how sure, it’s a bit weird looking, and they are absolutely drinking blood, but it’s fine. And that leads to further investigations into how good the mind control or illusion magic of the city must be because they keep getting these reports and they seem good and there needs to be an abundance of caution. The Protectorate are more likely to believe their investigators are mistaken or deceived than their actual finding.

For now.

And okay, now this vampire has the problem that they’ve fallen into the vampire trap of when an immortal, undying mind gets brain worms, those worms dig deep. Now, making this city good is their Special Interest Project. And that special interest project is obsessive, and has created its whole new layer of culture. Because to humans, this city is kinda gothic, has all these rad amenities, a creepy blood payment system, and the leadership is this small population of vampires that you obviously don’t want to fuck with and keep themselves removed and have like their own very distinct interests that shape bits of the cities. Like one group of the vampires are into art so their section of the city has a bunch of galleries. It’s interesting, it’s weird, but it’s also very free, very safe…

.. and from the Vampires perspective, this is a glass clock. The population must be over %, it must always reach high enough that they can always attest to Blood reserves and not run the risk of a starvation incident. New vampires arrive in the town thinking ‘this is a city run by vampires’ and aren’t expecting to walk into what amounts to the most intensely regulated minecraft farm ever made, and where every new vampire needs to be met with a commensurate increase in the overall population and oh, you can’t do that? You can’t bring enough people to safely continue the city project? Then you can leave or you can convince someone else to leave or, much more likely, you can disappear when you decide you don’t like how we do things here with our interlocking brainworms.

Another hallmark of what this city needs, is an antechamber. A place that is not actually part of this necrostate, but nearby enough that the necrostate can use it as a link point to the other nations that do not want to deal with a necrostate directly. In this case, the case of this city-state, that’s a little adjacent town, called Poinera. That town is going to wind up with a disproportionate importance, one of those funny little geographical details – like a tiny town which is regularly making huge deals for large sums of money or buying disproportionately large quantities of things since they plan on onselling them to people the seller won’t. This place wants to be a Protectorate city, too, but it’s also probably not a city, probably not ready to become part of the Protectorate yet.

Where we get then is a city that through sheer social pressures and response to systemic demands, has become a great place to live because if you’re detached from Wealth As A High Score, the actual project is interesting in and of itself. The Protectorate are convinced it’s sus because it looks too good to be true and the Vampire Monarch is obsessed with making it better because they’ve got the brain worm now and they have, coincidentally, become a beloved leader, blackhearted and selfish and entirely unprepared to cope with being one of the city’s favourite people.

They are a shepherd. You can shear a sheep many times, but skin it only once.

And they will fight the wolves.

This describes the process, the narrative of how a city-state like this can come to be. But what about this place, what about the place that does exist and how it formed? Then that’s the next part of the treatment. With the structure of the story, what follows is an examination of the city as it is – its name, its rulers, its culture and the places around the city that people are drawn to and why. This is where we get the project of the incredibly boring Vampire Lord Lochestow, who is if a Dentist’s Assistant became a Dracula, the way the city was named and titled, and what those details came to mean in the creation of the city state that is known now as Hecsenfore.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

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Danganronpa V3: Despair's Last Legs. Chapter 1, Day 1

Kaede let out a long sigh as she rose from her slumber, she looked around her room and confirmed that what happened yesterday was, in fact not just a bad dream born from staying up too late practising for a concert.

DING DONG BING BONG

The Warriors of Hope appeared on the monitor in her room, sitting together on a couch.

“Hey, you bastards! It’s 8 AM now! Get up and go get breakfast or our Exisals will rip you to shreds!” Masaru yelled.

“There’s no actual rule against not eating, but did you know that not eating for weeks on end has many weight loss benefits?” Kotoko turned her head.

Masaru pouted. “No fair, you’re not meant to tell them when I’m being blatantly wrong,”

“We literally are,” Nagisa deadpanned. “Please ignore most of what Masaru says, everyone,”

“Hey-”

“Have a good day everyone!” Monaca smiled into the camera, a complete lack of light in her soulless, green eyes.

“Uh, yeah right!” Masaru gave a thumbs up. “Get killing soon!”

The monitor shut off.

Kaede looked both frustrated and confused at the Teacher’s antics… any further thoughts were interrupted by her stomach grumbling. She decided to head down to the Dining Hall.

Kaede didn’t encounter anyone her way there, as it turns out literally everyone had the same idea to head to the Dining Hall at the same time.

Most of the people were calmly eating, some were doing other things though: Angie was praying, Tenko was fawning over Himiko’s existence, Kokichi was talking to (bullying) Keebo in a corner. Everyone seemed to have something to do!

“Kaede, you’re finally here!” Kaito smiled widely as the Pianist looked around.

Kaede chuckled. “Well, I kinda have to eat, y’know?”

“I know that, but that means that everyone’s in the Dining Hall now,”

“Ah, yeah,” Shuichi spoke up as he walked next to Kaede. “I uh… only just noticed that,”

“Only now?” Kokichi turned his head curiously. “For the Ultimate Detective you sure aren’t very observant,”

“A-Ah, sorry…”

“Kokichi!” Kaede scolded. “Shuichi you don’t need to apologise,”

Kirumi sighed. “Please behave yourself, Oma,”

“Ooooooo, you’re calling me by my last name! That means you hate me!” Kokichi suddenly began to violently cry. “WAHHHHHHHHHHH, KIRUMI HATES ME!”

Everyone ignored the Supreme Leader as he basically instantly stopped crying.

“So, now that everyone’s here, I guess we can discuss the events from yesterday,” Rantaro said, a calm smile still on his face as he put his hands on the table in front of him.

“Yes, yes!” Angie smiled widely. “There’s much to discuss!”

“Nyehhhh… talking is a pain…” Himiko complained.

Tenko patted the witch on the shoulders. “Don’t worry Himiko, just wh-whisper in my ears and I’ll tell them what you wanna say!” She drooled a little, which Himiko noticed and seemed to be just a bit uncomfortable about.

“What’s there to talk about? We already know none of us are gonna fall for this Killing Game shit,” Kaito said.

“Oh, I wouldn’t be so sure…” Kokichi smirked. “I mean, we’re all pretty on edge, aren’t we?”

“Well-” Tsumugi mumbled.

“What are you getting at, Kokichi?” Kirumi quirked an eyebrow.

Kokichi’s face went back to that of a child’s. “Getting at? I’m not getting at anything, just stating what’s obvious,”

The Dining Hall quickly fell silent.

“He’s got a point,” Ryoma broke the silence. “It’s not like we know each other very well, I personally don’t got much out there to kill for, but if someone else here does then…” The former Tennis Pro trailed off.

“Then what?” Kaede interrupted. “Are we all just gonna give up and kill each other, because some stupid bear told us to?”

The group stared at Kaede most looked confused, while a few looked at the woman with admiration.

“Ugh… I’m not great at speeches, admittedly, if it were up to me I’d be playing an inspiring song for us all. March of the Valkyries would do wonders for all of our spirits!” Kaede proudly declared. “But besides that, fragmenting off, and letting ourselves start to mistrust each other is only going to lead to us doing what Monokuma wants!”

“I guess that’s plain to see…” Tsumugi mumbled.

“Took the words right outta my mouth,” Kaito chuckled.

“No she didn’t,” Maki chided the Astronaut, who sweated and chuckled uncomfortably in response. “Still, I guess it did instill a bit of hope in me…”

“Weeelll, I guess it’s better to work together… for now, nishishi!” Kokichi chuckled.

“I agree, and so does Himiko!” Tenko shouted.

“I didn’t even say anything, but I guess so…”

“Nyahahaha, what a divine hope that has filled us,” Angie held her hands together in prayer. “I wish for Atua’s luck to rain upon all of us!”

“I guess you gotta make up for that flat chest somehow…” Miu mumbled, Kaede elected to take that as a compliment.

“Gonta do his best to help us escape!”

Rantaro walked up to the Pianist with the same calm smile still on his face. “For someone who’s said they aren’t good at speeches, you’ve sure managed to rile us up,”

Kaede smiled. “I’m glad, we need to work together to escape this place,”

“Th-That’s right!” Shuichi adjusted his hat to look Kaede in the eyes. “We’ll need to find something soon,”

“That’s right, Shuichi,” Kaede nodded. “I can feel everyone’s heart beating together as one, as long as we work together, we’ll have no problem getting out of this Killing Game!”

“Ah… cooperation, the thing that’s let humanity survive this long…” Korekiyo whispered. “So beautiful!”

“You have a distinctly creepy way of saying it, but I like your attitude!” Kaede smiled, Korekiyo probably did too under that mask.

“Kehehe, I’m glad to be apart of this cooperation, it’ll be so interesting to watch…”

“I’ll do my best to help!” Keebo declared.

Kokichi looked at his hand. “And it’ll still not be enough,”

“Hey!”

Kaede shook away the urge to scold Kokichi, and cleared her throat. “Well, if no one has any objections, then I guess we’ll start working on-”

“I have one,” Maki said, menacing yet monotone as ever. “We have no starting point,”

“A-Ah, well-”

“Actually Gonta think he find something that could be exit,” The large man spoke up. “Gonta go to back of school last night looking for bugs, but only find manhole cover instead. Maybe it’s way out?”

“That’s… actually very smart of you Gonta!” Tsumugi smiled.

Kaede smiled. “Yeah Gonta, we should head there. It’s our best bet for escaping this place!”

“Aww, it nothing everyperson, Gonta just being gentleman!”

“It would’ve been gentlemanly to mention it beforehand,” Maki muttered under her breath.

Kokichi gave Maki a quick smirk and then turned his head to Gonta. “It is kinda weird that you didn’t mention it before, but that sounds like a super fun idea!”

“Well, what are we waitin’ for?” Kaito clapped his hands. “Let’s get going!”

And so all sixteen students headed out into the courtyard, and towards the back of the school into a small, open area.

Gonta lead the students to the middle, and showed them the manhole cover.

“Here it is, now how do we open it?” Kaede looked deep in thought.

“Ooooo, Kee-boy should use a super robo rocket kick or something to kick it open!” Kokichi went wide eyed at the robot.

“He can do that?” Tsumugi looked equally fangirly.

Keebo shrugged awkwardly. “Actually… I don’t have that function, Professor Ibadashi only gave me the strength of an above average elderly person,”

“Really?” Kokichi looked dissappointed. “Keebo, why are you always so lame?”

“I’ll have you know that I have studied over 100 years worth of entertainment! It’s scientifically impossible for me to be lame!”

It would’ve probably been easier to just… watch any TV Show, or movie, or… anything.

Ignoring those thoughts, Kaede continued to ponder at the Manhole cover until.

“Up you go!” Gonta said casually as he lifted the 200 pound manhole cover, holding it between two fingers like a frisbee.

“Jeez, that’s some strength you got there, big guy!” Kaito chuckled.

“Thanks Kaito!”

“Where do you plan to put that, Gonta?” Kirumi asked.

Gonta shrugged. “Gonta put it over there,” He said as he tossed the easily 100 kilogram metal frisbee at a wall, it flew a good 10 metres before it hit the floor.

“Grrr… degenerate males always being so careless!” Tenko complained.

“Gonta, please be more careful with that sort of thing,”

Gonta looked down sadly. “Gonta sorry,”

“Don’t worry about it for now!” Kaede patted the big guy on the back. “Let’s head down this manhole cover, check for an exit!”

“Yes ma’am!” Kokichi sarcastically saluted as he climbed down, the rest of the gang quickly followed suit.

The manhole led to a pretty dreary room, cramped and nearly featureless except for a large tunnel at one end, and a sign pointing to it that said

EXIT

“Well that’s convenient,” Kokichi chuckled.

“Almost a little too convenient,” Ryoma said.

Maki, ever the pessimist chimed in too. “Yeah, it’s a wonder that Monokuma hasn’t interrupted us yet, this seems to easy,”

“Are you saying that this is a trap?” Kirumi asked.

“Kehehe, it would be quite malicious of our captors,” Korekiyo whispered. “Get our hopes up to maximise our despair,”

“Hey,” Kaede called out. “Don’t let Monokuma get to you, I’m sure we found this on our own. We’re gonna use this to get out of here, and then… I think we should all remain friends,”

“Friends…?” Maki quirked an eyebrow.

“Well, yeah; we don’t know each other very well, but we’ve been through a lot together,” Kaede smiled brightly. “So I think when we get out of here, we should all be friends!”

“Nyahaha, what a divine idea Kaede!” Angie somehow beamed brighter than the Pianist. “And then you can give me that pint of your blood once your anemia clears up!”

“Um… that’s not how anemia works,” Tsumugi said.

Kaito spoke up. “That sounds like a great idea, Kaede, now gimme a hug!”

“Wha?”

“What, we’re friends,” Kaito chuckled uncomfortably.

“Classic degenerate male,” Tenko made a weird face, the offense/confusion one again. “Trying to get a woman to press her breasts up to you,”

“Wh-Wha no, it’s not like that at all!” Kaito waved his hands around.

“You say that like you were thinking about it…” Himiko mumbled.

“Wha-Wha-What? N-No, it’s not like that at all!” Tenko waved her hands around in the exact same manner as Kaito.

Shuichi tapped Kaede on the shoulder, the Pianist turned around to look at her friend.

“I like the idea of staying friends once this is over,”

“Thanks Shuichi, that’s why I came up with it!” Kaede smiled.

Tsumugi walked near the Pianist too. “I’d also wanna be your friend, by the way… if you want that,”

“Of course, everyone means everyone!”

“Well, I guess that settles it,” Kirumi said. “We should head in,”

“We’ll have each other’s backs!” Kaede declared brightly.

“I’ll do my best!” Keebo smiled.

Kokichi smiled back. “This is the only time I actually believe that!”

“I could totally invent a way outta this, but taking the scenic route’s prolly more fun or some shit,” Miu shrugged.

“Hopefully this works,” Rantaro said.

That was that, the sixteen Ultimate students entered the tunnel into the Death Road of Despair together as a unit.

…

If only they knew the tragedy that would befall them next.

The Death Road of Despair was a distinctly painful, cruel trap designed to wear down the hope of the Ultimate students.

The weakest members had to leave first, covered in scratches, scrapes and bruises, and already tired from the traps that lay within.

The stronger students soon fell one by one, passing out from sheer exhaustion and pain from the tunnel, but worst of all was the fact that no matter how far they went; they still felt no closer to an exit, no indication of progress. It was torture.

Kaede felt herself pass out…

…

“Ugh… wh-what happened?” Kaede mumbled as she woke from her slumber, limbs still sore from her attempted escape, she looked around the room.

Each and every student, once bright eyed and confident were sitting around in utter despair and exhaustion: wincing, stumbling, and on the verge of tears.

“Oh h-hey, you finally woke up,” Shuichi mumbled as he wearily helped Kaede to her feet.

“Wh-What happened?”

“Your plan failed, that’s what happened,” Maki said.

“Or perhaps we’ve fallen into Monokuma’s trap… get our hopes up about an exit, and then…” Korekiyo chuckled.

“How… horrible,” Tsumugi groaned as she laid down on the floor.

“B-B-Bingo!” The group heard the grating voice of the bear as it appeared in front of them, alongside the Warriors of Hope.

“You totally fell for our totally awesome trap!” Masaru shouted.

“Too many totallies,” Kotoko criticised. “But yeah, this entire thing was a trap,”

“I made the traps, if you need another reason to hate me…” Jataro smiled.

“I was surprised you feel for this stuff,” Nagisa chided. “I expected more of them,”

“As did I, puhuhu,” Monokuma laughed before he and his teachers left the room.

“Th-This whole escape route was a trap?” Kaede mumbled.

“Gonta get tricked?”

Kokichi stood up with a surprising amount of energy. “It’d make sense, the people running this game wouldn’t let us just end the fun so easily?”

“What are you *khh* getting at you degenerate?” Tenko shouted as she winced.

“Nyehhh… pain… agony, even…”

“Don’t worry Himiko! I’ll get you healed up soon!”

“Mwehh…”

“Nyahahaha, I am in untold agony!” Angie said, still somehow smiling.

Kaede’s knees buckled a little as she stood up. “C-C’mon guys, we need to try again soon. We can’t-”

“Didn’t you heard Monokuma? That thing’s a trap,” Kokichi turned his head. “And you completely and utterly fell for it,”

“K-Kokichi…” Shuichi mumbled, extremely out of breath.

“I’m right, aren’t I?” Kokichi let out a breathy chuckle. “If you wanna go in there, you can go ahead, but you can’t force the rest of us to go along!”

“H-Huh?”

“I agree, I’m gonna be going to my dorm,” Maki sighed. “Thanks for wasting my time, Kaede,”

“I wanna take a nap, Tenko carry me…”

“Kyah! Of course Himiko!” Tenko beamed.

“Count me out,” Ryoma said.

“If everyone else is leaving then I shall too, sorry Kaede,” Kirumi made a small bow.

Kaito looked around the room, tired anger clear on his face. “You’re all giving up that easily?”

“You call it whatever you want, we are not going through that again,” Maki said, conviction clear in her voice.

“I-I need my beauty sleep anyway, so I don’t end up lookin’ as bad as Cowtits,” Miu weakly laughed.

Kaede’s fists clenched in anger, she wanted to say something back but… let it go, she let out a frustrated sigh as one by one the majority of the students left the area. The only remaining students within the room were Kaede, Shuichi, Kaito, Tsumugi, Rantaro and Gonta.

“Cowards…” Kaito mumbled under his breath.

“Gonta sorry for leading everyone to dead end…” The large man looked down like a child being scolded, poor guy.

“I-It’s nothing, d-don’t worry,” Kaede mumbled.

Tsumugi patted Kaede on the back, equally as tired as her. “D-Don’t beat yourself up Kaede, it’s plain to see that you tried your best,”

“Yeah,” Rantaro nodded calmly. “Only a couple of them are mad at you, most are just mad that the escape didn’t work,”

“Doesn’t make it right to take it out on Kaede!” Kaito shouted.

“Y-Yeah, sorry about what everyone said, Kaede,”

“Y-You don’t have to apologise, I messed up by getting everyone’s hopes up…”

“Don’t say that, man,” Kaito patted the Pianist on the back. “You were only doing what you thought was good for the group, there’s no shame in that,”

Kaede looked up at the man and smiled. “Thanks…”

“You’re welcome,” Kaito said as he yawned. “We should probably all hit the hay now, we’ll work together better if we’re well rested,”

“Gonta agree!”

“I’m just plain exhausted,” Tsumugi sighed. “Gonta, can you carry me?”

“Gonta is glad to!” He smiled as he picked up the woman and climbed up the ladder.

The rest of the group climb out of the room, Kaede looked up into the night sky, pitch black and filled with pretty stars.

“Jeez, I kept you guys down there for pretty long, huh?” Kaede said as she turned to Shuichi, who she was leaning on for support. “Thanks for helping me up by the way, you’re pretty handy when it counts, Shuichi,”

“A-Ah, it’s nothing Kaede,” Shuichi sighed.

“Shuichi, it’s really helpful of you,” The woman chuckled. “Don’t discount yourself, okay?”

“I-I’m sorry,”

“And don’t apologise for stuff that isn’t your fault either, ugh,” Kaede rolled her eyes as she was lead back to her dorms.

Kaede collapsed onto her bed the instant she entered the room, not even bothering to lock the door.

Tomorrow was another day.

[beevean]

With the caveat that I can't comment on the actual gameplay because I sucked at it (yes, even in easy mode), I want you to know that the problem with Frontiers is most certainly NOT you. I liked Sage because I like most characters like Sage, but even if I enjoyed her scenes with Eggman, there were lots of moments where I kept putting down my Switch like "wait...would he ACTUALLY behave like this tho?" And if the doubts hit a kidfic fiend like me, I can't imagine what they did to a genuinely knowledgeable person like me (btw yes, the ending was VERY...boh?????)

"Boh" is ngl the perfect word to describe most things about Frontiers' story lmao, rip english we're built different :'D

IIRC Flynn said that the ending is like that because of time restraints. Which, okay, it's not uncommon for Sonic games to be rushed and it's not the writers' fault. But it says something that the ending focused so much on Eggman being saaaaad that his AI got destroyed (not long before recreating it perfectly in the golden ending, way to cheapen a supposedly emotional moment), while Sonic apparently doesn't give a single shit about her and her sacrifice. yeah. because sonic has always been always so flippant in the face of the death of others, am i right sa2, battle, unleashed :^)

I'm kind of the opposite and I find Sage's archetype too generic to be enjoyed in a vanilla state. I keep referencing Rei because Sage is so blatantly inspired from her that the Death Egg looks original by comparison, but Rei has not only a much sadder backstory and situation, she has a much more unique personality than Sage, mostly when she sasses back and displays an acute emotional intelligence. Sage... really doesn't have much other than her desire to be seen as a daughter by her creator. Apparently she told a joke off-screen? But it's such an odd inclusion that it nearly feels OOC rather than a way to give her depth.

And Gamma did the "Eggman's creation grows emotions" arc better, come at me.

Sonic was fine, to be fair. I can't really remember a moment of his that stood out as being OOC (aside from what I mentioned above lol), and I liked how he impressed Sage with his perseverance once his corruption hit a critical point: no snark, no arrogance, just a grin through gritted teeth. That's a good Sonic :)

Knuckles was also good! He had good chemistry with Sonic and his writing felt earnest overall. His arc is a little... I don't know, maybe the idea of him detatching himself from the ME is a little late now? But that's a nitpick.

But hey, still better than Amy and Tails, who deadass learn respectively how to "share love" (Amy???? the one who befriended Gamma and Shadow????? what's next, does Sonic have to learn to accept the help of his friends???????) and to not be wildly inconsistent break free from Sonic's shadow, which he already did in SA1, a game at this point older than most of the fanbase.

And Eggman is. Yeah. I think I said enough lol.

Anyway, thank you for coming forward to not make me feel insane lmao :'D

[feverinfeveroutfic]

after going through the jumblr tag on here—and seeing what jewish people are having to deal with, especially now after october 7th (has it really been nearly a month? jesus)—i’ve decided to be obnoxious about the one holiday that all of us gentiles claim to know but we actually don’t know jack shit about, especially for this year and especially since alex himself is jewish: hanukkah.

hey, we go ape shit over christmas the very second the sun goes down on halloween. it’s only fair we pay our respects and make them feel safe in celebrating their traditions because these poor people don’t feel safe right now. not everything is about us, after all.

i’ve only got four—soon to be five—stories that have hanukkah as a plot point. dead man walking and fever both blatantly mention hanukkah as well as Rosh Hashanah, but i’m discounting them because it’s not really a plot point. another one is as the seasons grey for the same reason, despite alex being there and christine’s past deceased love chris being a jewish boy. eerie inhabitants is another one for the same reason (and despite the presence of the star of david as well), and blood from a stone and flowers for alexander haven’t mentioned it yet (i’m thinking of dropping in Yom Kippur or a lesser known day like purim on the latter, though!)

the first is the apple shed, the most explicit of the bunch (so far, anyway): it started life late last year as me poking fun at those hallmark movies that are all about christmas and my pointing out at how there aren’t that many things about hanukkah or kwanzaa for that matter. i haven’t updated it since the end of march just because other things came up but i feel a new chapter in the wings, though.

the second is blood and chocolate: this was a revamp of a sequel to a one shot i wrote last march because i felt the original wasn’t going anywhere. i brought it back and gave it new life last november, and i am so glad i did that because i really love this fic for two reasons. number one, it’s based on three of my main kinks (belly kink, food kink, and switching). and number two is… i like reading about jewish food? because some of it is actually delicious?? like babka, sufganiyot, and black and white cookies. it also gives me a chance to think about alex and eric, too. the accompanying piece i wrote for kinktober this year, blood and wine, has Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur as major points, too.

the third is “infinity + 1”, day 18 from my collection black moon (kinkmas 2022): the title is—you guessed it—a reference to the candles on the menorah (infinity signified by a number 8, but there’s the one candle in the middle), when alex shares the eight nights with christine in the cabin and she’s absolutely enthralled by the sight of the menorah.

and finally, the fourth is six feet under from november 2020: this was written in that grim period of my life when my reputation on here was pretty much in shambles and before alex entered the picture. it’s scott reminiscing on his memory of an old childhood friend who’s now deceased. because it was written when it was written, it’s a very lonely, very underrated, very somber, very misunderstood fic, but it was a chance for me to genuinely grieve for myself.

and the fifth that’s in the works, the one i’m writing for nanowrimo for this year and sharing on that hanukkah bingo, is alone in the dark. i won’t give away too much but i feel as proud of this as i do with seasons grey.

[androgynousblackbox]

I looked into the video James Somerton talks about his HP merch in and made some screenshots. He's not full on bawling per say, but it's sure something. (An Over-Emotional Look at Why JK Rowling is Bad)

Screenshots: https://imgur.com/a/UwFPhZ7

He waxes quite long how for some kids HP was essentially a safe space from the real world, the characters were their friends and family and so on. The books are the fans' property now, she might legally own it but the brand is nothing without the fans, Hogwarts is home for an entire generation yadda yadda. You'd have to see the smug head shake when saying "I'm not letting her have the power to take it away from me", wow. Just wow.

Coincidentally, here's a 2 HOUR LONG video by the youtuber Shaun calling out just some of the weird and highly problematic shit in HP books: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1iaJWSwUZs

Jesus fucking christ, what a terrible ass fucking video from a terrible ass person.

slow clap

Truly, how brave of Serial Plagiarist Somerton to decide that he, as a cis binary man, can wear his HP backpack without feeling like he is contributing and supporting TERF ideology. And how absolutely nice of him to not make a single fucking mention during this one hour jerk fest of "I am good, uwuw, believe me, I am good!" of how to actually support trans people.

A big chunk on the video relies on the assumption that Serial Plagiarist is NOT bad, okay? He is not a bigot, okay? He said so. He has trans friends to whom he wouldn't talk about Joanne Karen so OBVIOUSLY he couldn't have any hidden bias or blind spots. Forget the fact about how he denied that Rowling "did anything explicitely racist" at the start. He met his first black person at 16 so that means he is not a bigot. But as soon he tries to convince me of that, he does share the opinion that the phrase "people who menstruate" sounds "off", that it's "deshumanizing" (he ommited explain how me, a person who menstruate, against my will I might add, should care about what a cis man's opinion about a completely accurate description that is relevant to menstrual related health) so OF COURSE he understands why people had a problem with it. It's very fucking understandable. Nevermind the amount of trans people who were already calling that already or the mountains of afab people who defended the terminology as being inclusive and fine. Serial Plagiarist is not a bigot because he said so. That is the only thing you need to remember.

Strike one.

Serial Plagiarist of Queer Authors didn't talked either about the pen name of J. Karen is the name of a conversion therapy supporter, even though in Twitter trans people and actual allies who listen to us always point that out.

Strike two.

At some point he says that the fanfiction communities exploded only after the books were finished. I was on HP fanfiction communities at 14 before the fifth book came out and it was the largest fandom at the time. I am talking about the hispanic fandom so the english one must have been huge too. How does he have the confidence of just saying such blatantly wrong information, I have no clue.

Like, he says "we were loving, kind, accepting people… that is why we had to defend J. Karen" like… he actually is making the argument that he is a good person at heart and he had no agency, no responsability, no autonomy at all and no bias anywhere when he decided to defend J. Karen and ignore criticism until it was too late. It's giving Shane Dawson pushing for his shitty "I am such an empath uwuw" whenever people would call him out on blackface or whatever shitty unfunny joke he made. "I am a good person, therefore, if I did anything wrong it was a mistake and that doesn't reflect my values or who I am", like fuck it does.

That phrase "I won't let her take that power away from me" appears before on the video refering to trans people having HP related tattooes to spite Rowling. So he took this sentiment from trans people and decided to apply it to himself… a white cis binary guy, and he thought he was doing fucking something.

I swear I almost lose my fucking mind when this piece of shit really bring out syrian refugees grabbing HP books with them and being all "is it really fair to ask them to give that up?". The same man who literally groaned and complained about how he can't guy a fucking lego set has no fucking business in hell comparing his need for scapism with these people. He had no fucking business to pretend like he has the same power of reclamation that trans people have. He had no fucking business doing this whole fucking charade of "I am not letting her take that power away from me uwu" when he never, EVER, was the most affected person on any of this and NEVER had any power taken away from him. While he was playing the smallest violin for himself from the inside of his ass, he barely even touched on the real life impact that J. Karen had on making the lives of trans people actively worse. He didn't say anything about how laws are inspired by her or how hateful and violent people she had little tea parties with. It's like he thinks all she did was some offensive tweets, a bad books, a manifesto and done. That no further impact and didn't harm anyone.

He wants to play the victim on all of this so fucking hard and it's embarassing. This is giving me Sarah Z bringing up the fucking Turner Diaries to talk about problematic fanfiction. It's the exact level of otherwordly lack of self awareness. No fucking wonder they are best buddies.

[calypso-finale]

Hundred Five. Part 2

Squinting my eyes open a little “have you been fake sleeping all this time I have been trying to wake you?” Robyn said, I groaned out “I don’t even want to hear what age I am Robyn, please I beg” she laughed out so loudly, it was evil “well happy birthday to my old man. But poppa look how sexy you still look, you are like the sexiest fifty year old” I stretched out and then laughed groaning out “please, I beg. This is nasty behaviour; I can’t believe I am that age. Fuck” I am stumped on this, how did life go so quick for me “but Chris, look at where you’re at in life, I am so happy for you. And I am so proud of you, look at you, look at us. Look at our children, I am happy and so should you” she has a point “when you fifty I want to make sure the whole world screams it” she swatted my chest “but yet you’re hiding in shame, be quiet. But I get your point, you’re right. Do what means the most to you and just a nice family meal works” she leaned down to me, pecking my lips “it was cute because like I put it in the group chat, the one you fucking left with my family and I said it’s his birthday and he won’t be offended if you don’t come, they all did. They should be here” Robyn’ family are a pain up my ass and will be forever “you know I would be happy with just the kids” she shook her head “Chris, this is a big birthday for you. I want to do more but you are refusing to let me” I chuckled “Robyn, what more do you want to do? We have done everything, the only thing I want is no drama, I just peace. Just all love, I don’t want no club shit. I feel like why do I need that but you know how Drais is, they are like next week we are about to have the biggest birthday bash for you, I did refuse but they just booked me for next week” Robyn cooed out “you really are over clubbing days aren’t you, that’s fine. But we will have the best meal for you” nodding my head “don’t get me started on Aziel, he blatantly peed on the floor, without a care. When I saw him, he ran, and I did see Raihan laughing and then said look what he did. I think we should punish him for that” Robyn trailed off as the bedroom door just opened “papa” Aziel spotted us and ran over “who told you to come here” he didn’t care, left the door open too “hi” he climbed onto the bed “you giving my daughter issues, we not talking” I said to him, he jumped onto the bed and then just hugged Robyn, she poked her bottom lip out “demon, don’t” I pointed, she can’t think he is cute.

They are really torturing me with my age, everything is just fifty this and fifty that as I walked down “still strong aren’t I” I am holding both Emi and Aziel, it’s cute that they decorated the home for me though “I think they want me to go into this room” the door is closed too, and I know Robyn told me to go into the living room first “shall we go in?” I asked, I feel like leaving them in there “yes!” Emi clapped “no” Aziel said, reaching down to the door handle and pushing it open “oh god” the all shouted happy birthday to me “oh man, oh man” the kids both shouted in excitement “really” the amount of party poppers and mess in this room now “I want to leave already” they all cheered, then they started singing happy birthday as I entered the room, Taina and Herb both here early for me, that is shocking for them two always late couple and Monica is here for me, I should be honoured she held the years of hate for me and still able to come to my party with a smile. I think I am most happy about to have all my kids here, that is what means the most because they are always everywhere and anywhere the girls “thank you” I said smiling “I didn’t really want to see my age in lights at all but thank you, it’s been a journey for me but to have my loved ones here is what means the most, to see my girls home too. It’s just what I need. Least I am only a grandparent to one, but seeing Aziel makes me feel old but thank you all, Monica coming here is scary. She most like me” Monica waved me off “please make him stop” Robyn walked over to me laughing “you better stop before she starts giving you a list of things she don’t like” she took Emi from me “you look emotional poppa, you ok?” I shrugged not saying anything.

I told the kids I don’t want gifts but yet they get me gifts “I think it’s sweet that you all know what I like, but to get me a car collectively was too sweet. Like thank you” I was shocked “well dad you said that you didn’t want anything and that you just didn’t want us to get anything so we was like us three being the eldest can get you a car so we split it three ways and Junior, he added something with selling Taylan stuff and to get you it, we know you like cars so why not” Ti explained “I appreciate it, all I really want is for you kids to be happy, and then to have you all here, thank you” smiling at them “Robyn got me air” I side eyed her “I will give you sex, be quiet” I laughed “I knew that” that is all I want really “oh please, make sure no baby is coming out of this” standing up “oh trust me, no baby comes out of this I promise you, that issue is fixed” Rylee face dropped, looking to where she is looking “did I miss it?” Oakley came finally “my dad” Aziel already found him, he didn’t wait a second to see him “my boy, you came out here” walking over to him “you asked me to come, I couldn’t say no old man” hugging him “I will still beat your ass my guy don’t piss me off” he chuckled “good seeing you, thank you for having me” he patted my back “you are family so why not” I said to him “Oakley, you came” I still find Robyn being nice to him weird because she is never nice to anyone “hey” he said and Robyn hugged him “I kind of missed everything” he said “oh you didn’t but you arrived on time for big boy breakfast though bro” I hope today everyone can just get on because I don’t want to hear about no drama and no Rylee shit, she loves a good drama that girl, but I believe she won’t so I pray.

Watching Aziel behaviour around his dad is very different to his mom, he seems a little scared of him or there is a respect there for him but he will sure as hell play up with my daughter and I don’t like that shit at all but he has respect for someone so this could work but he is a little shit “Chris” looking up “oh mom, you’re here” I got up from the couch “I am sorry son, I just missed my original flight but I am here now” hugging my mom “oh it’s ok you came now and that is what means the most to me” I don’t care what time she comes, she is here and that is what means the most “it’s been so long” she said “mom it’s ok to have bad days you know” moving back from the hug “you was having off time and I accept that but as long as you are taking your medication we good, you are good now yeah?” she nodded her head “I was looking forward to coming and seeing all the kids. The are so grown now, I am like who is all the new kids, but they are grown” I chuckled, moving back from the hug. My mom hasn’t been having a good time with her illness and I am happy she told me that and she got help, that is all I want for her “well since you last saw Emi, she got even fatter” my mom laughed “oh Robyn” she came out “it’s so good seeing you” Robyn hugged my mom, I am most happy that my mom is here and she made it out here on her own, crazy.

I know everyone is thinking why I just want everything lowkey but like I have done everything, I don’t want no party even though it’s already been taking out of my hands with it, I am just happy to have my family here and we just have a nice get together. Robyn always got to have paparazzi around “busy out there” Oakley said “it’s sick this car though, your daughters chose well” he complimented “and you took the virginity of it, passenger princess. Also just you know what I said, keep it one hundred and just not speak to Rylee, I don’t want no drama on my day” Oakley nodded his head, opening the door as I got out “Happy Birthday Chris” The paparazzi shouted at me “thank you, thank you” I smiled, closing the door and watching Oakley get out “is my wife here already?” I asked them “already bro, she walked in” I chuckled, making my way in “well let me be not too late, get y’all pictures” Oakley rushed over to me “how come the paparazzi?” he asked “Robyn and her plans, also I think Robyn is about to ask more of you, heads up. She is trying to be a powerhouse overseas, which she don’t need it but she aiming for the ends” he let out an oh “she is demanding” he is saying that but I am married to that “women bro” walking into the building “damn this is a lot of people” looking upstairs “upstairs sir” the waiter said as I made my way up.

I am so glad that dad took his minion over and away from me at this meal “Rylee, seems like I don’t see you anymore” my grandma sat next to me “oh yeah, whenever you come I’m always in London that is why. How are you?” Locking my phone, I’ve been very quiet today, seems like everyone thinks I’m the drama or something is always wrong and it’s always me. I even spoke to my therapist in the morning, I feel content, but I am still not happy “sorry grandma, I zoned out what did you say?” I feel so rude “I’m ok Rylee, how are you? You have been very quiet here, usually you’re up to something” I laughed “erm just keeping out of trouble, I have a lot of things I need to do at home that is all” I shrugged “home, you call London home now” nodding my head “but sometimes I feel it isn’t home, I feel it’s Aziel home and I’m there for him, you know what grandma. I don’t know what I want but I just want the best for Aziel but he isn’t making it easier for me” I keep checking on him; he is everywhere and playing with his cousins but I’m worried he’s going to upset someone child “you need to do what is good for you” she said “I am happy in London I think it’s settled but it can be so lonely, if I take away my friends, who I got? Me, myself and I. I just feel shit, I will be ok” I laughed “can I steal my sister” Ti said with her hands on my shoulders “oh I need a drink, grandma I’ll be back” getting up from the chair, Ti smiled at me “your body is banging, like that shit is beautiful” she complimented “awww thank you, I go gym for most part and then I do Yoga, weird enough it works but I’m still an unhinged mess” Ti chuckled “shut up now, just thought I would pull you up and see how you are, he’s not spoken to you has he” shaking my head “everyone but me, it’s just lame. He’s lame, like he doesn’t understand when you have sex with someone feelings come forward, men don’t care. They don’t, no matter what. Sex is sex to them, but we feel it, it’s us struggling after. I’m pissed with him but I’m leaving it” grabbing a water bottle “it’s dad day and whatever but how is you? I think dad loved the car, even though Imani didn’t put a dime into that shit” Ti shushed me “she said I’ll pay you soon, I’m like girl” shaking my head “just shit, and it always seems to be Rylee has the issues, maybe I have I don’t know anymore. I just want this day to be over with already” my dad smiled at us “I think mom and dad are concerned for you” I sighed out “I can sense it” I mumbled “I’m not like depressed, just more annoyed at things. I don’t know Ti, I don’t know how to get a man without using my looks” Ti shushed me “it happens, look I been there, I was in the same position as you and I felt like shit. Taylan came out of nowhere, stop chasing and let it come to you. You have a fear of being alone clearly. It’s fine, you are doing so well” Tianna placed her arm around me “if it makes you feel any better Oakley has been looking at you, I think dad told him to stay away” the kids are screaming as they do “Rylee, ayo!” Rorrey waved at me “Aziel!” He pointed, I placed my bottle down and walked off, as I walked closer “what happened?” I started rushing out of the door because I can hear his cries now “Rylee he fell” Raihan said, pushing through the kids “he fell down the steps” Taina said as she came up from the fire exit “what!” I spat running, seeing Aziel down the steps crying and Junior there “oh my god” running in heels down in these steps, I’m fearing for myself to fall “oh my god” Junior moved away “what happened!? What happened!?” Onto my knees seeing my son crying out “Raihan pushed him down” I don’t know what he’s hurt.

We had to call the ambulance, my dad said to not move him. Steel steps he fell down “we will take him in” the paramedic said, as they moved back seeing his little body on the bed “mommy” he said, making my way over to him “I’m here, it’s ok baby” the paramedics are in the way “I’m here, it’s ok. I’m going with him” following behind them “I’ll go with him too” hearing Oakley say “I’ll follow behind” looking up “dad it’s fine, just stay here. Sorry” I apologised; I can’t believe this has happened to him. The went through the back of the fire exit, they are taking him in which isn’t really good what if something bad has happened “your momma is here, don’t you worry” the paramedic said to Aziel, he’s probably thinking what is happening “we will take him in first and then you both can sit in” nodding my head, why did this have to happen to my child, looking to the side of me and he just stood silent not a word spoken to me at all which I don’t care, Aziel looked at us and I smiled at him “come over now parents, you the daddy yeah?” She asked him “yeah, yeah I am” getting into the ambulance “mommy” Aziel whined out “he has a temperature, the side of his head had a knock, but he won’t let us touch his arm, I am guessing it may be broken” sitting down on the chair “it’s ok baby, I am here. So you think he’s broken his arm?” I asked “yes it’s this the first time you riding an ambulance sweetie? We going to tuck you right in, my colleague going to put the fancy lights on for you baby” I can’t believe this has happened “hey!” Someone started banging on the door “my sister her bag, please!” Oh that’s Imani “hold on now” the lady went walking over “daddy it hurt” he just seen Oakley now “you been playing around haven’t you” he said to him “your bag, is we got to go. Belts on please” she passed the bag to me,

They have taken a lot of scans from him and now he is asleep, I told my family not to come I think it will be ok. I am stuck dressed like this and heels on, sitting down on the chair sighing out, Oakley hasn’t still said a word to me, but I refuse because like fuck it, if he can’t speak then I won’t. Kicking my heels off, I have had enough really “you want to wear my trainers?” looking over at Oakley, he spoke “me?” I said like a dumbass “who else?” he said “erm it’s ok, you need to wear something” he took off his sneakers “I mean the floor isn’t clean either, how about you wear my socks?” I laughed “that is disgusting” is he stupid “no serious, better then the floor. Let me take them off” oh he is being dead ass “we have shared much worse, I don’t have nasty feet now you know that” watching him take his socks off “I just know they are sweaty” he hung them up on the side of the bed “fine, let the sweat dry up, you can wear my trainers” shaking my head “fine”  I will take his socks actually “kind of rude not speaking to me though” I asked, I couldn’t help it “your dad told me not too, to keep the drama because you didn’t want me here” of course my dad told him that “yeah but do you blame me” I retorted “and on top of that you keep making your friends pick him up, I can’t talk to you. You blocked me off for what? What did I do to you” I am so confused “because everything is always drama, you want me to say things I don’t want to say, I care about you and like what happened in the bedroom I feel bad. You know me Rylee if I don’t give a fuck about someone I stop” he said, “but you made up with Wyge straight off, me I get shit” I defended “not like that, I think we got a long night though so I guess we stuck here with this” he stared me down “what does that mean?” I frowned “we can talk about things, no arguing. I stop listening when you do” he pointed “right” my feet are cold and I want them socks but then I don’t want them at the same time “take it, I promise they don’t stink” he laughed.

[reservoirreputation]

My Journey to Brain-rot, or It Took Me Three Views to “Get” Reservoir Dogs.

Similar to my main blog, where I described my tale as a Supernatural fan, first casual then wanting something more, something a lot gayer, only to be delighted that the answer’s been under my nose the whole time. Very similar story.

I’m going to recap from memory my first three viewings of the 1992 classic. So:

1st viewing: I was probably 12. Pretty sure I’d rented it from Blockbuster. Yes, this was in the 2000’s, no, I don’t expect you to believe me. Not the watching violent movies at twelve part, but the whole “you know what a Blockbuster is?” Point being, I really liked Kill Bill, and figured this would be no different. Problem is, I’m terrible with names. Like, can’t name a relative of mine if we’re not that close, even if Mom’s told me five minutes ago. How do you think I fared with a movie of white guys dressed the same way with similar dialogue? Not well, and I wasn’t impressed. Promptly forgot about the movie, its plot, its characters, its twist, all of it.

In the years that followed, and having enjoyed the likes of Pulp Fiction and Inglorious Bastards, I decide, at about 17? I wanna say? to give Reservoir Dogs another shot. 

2nd viewing: It’s like my mind’s been wiped, have no recollection of this fucking film. Had zero expectations, but there was one important difference at this time, and where it crosses over with my experience with Supernatural: I’d been craving some gay shit. That good ol’ MLM. Only at this point, I had zero tools in my media literacy belt, and had to go by gut feeling. You know, when you watch or read something, and you get that funny feeling in your gut that it’s really quite queer, and you’re not instantly sure if you’re into it. That was me when I saw Tim Roth screaming his head off and the older guy holding his hand, comforting him. Literally nothing else in the movie held my interest the way these two’s bullshit did. Every moment they weren’t on screen being the definition of hurt/comfort was like losing the heart of the story.

Too long later, to March of this year, at 25 years old. I see someone who’s movie reactions I like has also reacted to this film, and I instantly think ‘oh yeah, the one where those two characters are really homoerotic’. Watch this 40 minute reaction, and am stunned at how it’s not only still really fucking gay, but queerer than I remembered. Late at night, done with the video, and I’m like “I need to rewatch this movie now.”

3rd viewing: glued to my seat, absolutely enthralled with this fucking movie. The brain-rot has properly set in. This is my life now. I wonder how more people don’t talk about this movie as the queer masterpiece that it is. I’m cursed with the sight, and cannot express what haunts me. A week later, I realize, to both my delight and horror, that Supernatural has done an episode of this in season 12. I mean, straight up, a Tarantino tribute to specifically Reservoir Dogs, that’s also known as one of the best Destiel episodes of the series, and blatantly foreshadows characters betraying their love interest in the season finale. Listen, I didn’t start writing SPN meta until season 13, I never even considered that the source material was equally as gay. Just, this revelation both fascinated and confounded me, but provided me with another comfort; I’m not alone in recognizing how ridiculously queer this movie is, and that professional writers got paid to make what amounts to crossover fanfiction.

So, to go from being unimpressed at 12 to obsessed at 25. God, I love movies.

Reservoir Dogs is truly one of those movies that is more rewarding the more you watch it. Makes me wish there were more videos of people online rewatching movies with a twist, or to be able to take a deeper dive into a story and not be lost from trying to absorb all the details and characters and plot-points for the first time.

That's it. Now I'm stuck here with maybe a dozen fanfic plots in my noggin. I shall never know peace.

[sparkanonymous]

Time for more!

⚠️ Spoilers for episode 4-10!

Episode 4: Beyond Madness

Lloyd making fun of Jay to try to teach Arin a lesson is fucking funny.

I wish I was smarter. This show was made for children and it's confusing me just as much as it would for a child. They knew that kids would be confused about Sora's powers, so they decided to go more in depth, and - unfortunately - I needed that.

I like how they're also giving more depth to the other ninjas' power. When reading fanfictions about the ninja using their powers, they always feel it in their hands. Here in Dragons Rising, Nya is the one that can feel it in her hands, while everyone else feels their powers differently. Cole feeling the powers in his gut makes sense, and so does Zane feeling the powers in his mind. Now I want to know how Lloyd feels his powers. I also want to know if they talked about this in the original show and I either just missed it or didn't end up watching that season. (I made it through Kai's chapter, but Zane's Never Realm chapter was kinda boring and made be lose interest in watching the rest of the show.)

Ooh, is Kai back?

Damnit.

That "ow" from Sora was so late lmao

Arin, there's no way that Kai's dead. Be for real. These guys are invincible most of the time. Even if he was dead, they'd just come back from the dead.

Sora is not suited for the ways of being a ninja.

"Wait-" You waited way too long to tell them not to go. Come on, Lloyd, you've been around your brothers long enough to know not to wait 5 minutes after they say they're gonna go.

NYA!

Nya getting after Lloyd for being stupid.

I would've been a lot happier if Nya had called Lloyd her brother.

Poor Ryu...

Kai and Nya reunion...

I like how they try to convince you that Kai might be dead... then immediately follow that up by showing that he is very much alive.

Kai immediately assuming that Lloyd is a babysitter now.

RGB sibling fights lol

Of course you like Sora, Nya. She's practically you in another universe.

Aw, poor Sora.

Episode 5: Writers of Destiny

Arin trying to get "The Zane" really just instills my headcanons lol

Nya making fun of Kai's haircut.

Don't say stuff like that, Arin. You just jinxed yourself.

Bullshit. Arin wouldn't have been able to do shit without hitting someone with the grappling hook.

Kai pouting about fire proof monsters.

The beast is totally in cahoots with those two random civilians.

Air ninja? Flight ninja? Who are you?

Wind ninja? How the hell?

You didn't close all the way, dumbass.

Fucking poor Arin. He so quickly bought into the writers of destiny despite all of the OGs practically spitting on them, just so that he can feel like he has more of a chance at seeing his parents again. That's fucking sad.

Ooh, so that monster thing is gonna cause trust issues between the new ninja and the OGs.

It's always the bookworm pun.

Lmao the way Lloyd immediately tried to get Kai away from the bookworm as soon as it started listing embarrassing things.

Why is wind master so whiny.

Arin, she described why she doesn't want it. Were you not listening?

Euphrasia... hm.

The lead monk guy sounds very familiar... is that the man with the yellow hat's voice actor?

Wait, how did Arin escape from that bookworm thing?

So we leave Nya again...

The absolutely flat expression on Lloyd's face when he tells Kai to stop calling him mean names.

Episode 6: Return to Imperium

In a society blatantly against dragons, wouldn't protecting them put the ninja on a wanted list? They're not strangers to fighting against the law for what's right, not even the new ninja. I'm just saying that people are bound to not enjoy seeing them at some point because of their actions.

Kai biting the dust, 4K

So this is just a Sora backstory episode?

Is that Trixie's voice actor as Sora's mom?

Kai laughing after Lloyd pointed out Arin punched himself in the face earlier.

Kai's Wu impression is kinda impressive lol

Getting rid of Kai already? Goddamn.

That poor lab dragon...

Wait... I completely skipped over the fact that Sora's name was actually Anna.

Goddamn, poor Sora...

Oop, I guessed right. They are wanted because they fight the dragon hunters.

Lmao Lloyd's fake name.

Ooh, is that Wyldfyre that burned Lloyd there?

Episode 7: Mindless Beasts

Vanisholigists. Lmao

The cleaners' song is not catchy.

One of the cleaners reminds me of early Jay.

Arin letting the power get to his head.

It is Wyldfyre!

Why does literally no one recognize the green ninja.

Good on Sora tricking that asshole lol

Nya figured that out a little too quickly.

Ooh, Arin slowly being convinced to want to join another group... that'll come back to bite his ass, right? Like... his naivety. Not his dumbassery.

Lloyd is such a dumbass.

Lmao Rapton getting offended over being called a fool.

Sora threatening them so easily. They are really so dumb.

Oh dear, she's gonna get called out on her bluff.

So she did learn something during her ninja lessons.

So does Wyldfyre understand dragon? Does that mean she would be able to communicate with Ryu?

Ugh, poor fucking Sora. That's gonna be weighing on her conscious for forever.

Episode 8: I Will Be The Danger

Oh, the Wyldfyre backstory episode. I didn't expect it so early.

They reused the baby Wyldfyre laugh twice in a row. Lmao

So she just randomly woke up in the middle of the night because the fire was calling to her?

Aw... that's so cute.

"I am danger!" Life goals.

The robot caregiver is still really sweet. I love that.

Why did Lloyd touch the hand pad? That hasn't worked at all the last few times.

There is a lot of people that hit themselves in this series.

"The large house of many houses." Lmfao

The city's lord's flier covering the eyes of the little cleaners is very ironic.

I hope Rapton escapes the capture of Lore Raz and just leaves. He gets insulted too frequently. He;s too dumb to be taken seriously.

The video games coming back. Kai is an incel.

Why do the whispers sound like Wu?

Flat on his face. Lmao

You've been stuck alone in a monastery with a ghost before Kai.

"It knows my name... I'm famous among ghost!" He's such a dumbass

Why does Arin feel the need to say he lost Ryu? I feel like that's pretty evident.

Arin... has face blindness? That's very clearly not Kai, dude. Does he recognize people by the colors they wear and their elemental powers?

Ah, here's the trust issue subplot.

Okay, but why would Sora make the fail safe reliant on her powers? She knows she can't control them, we've had at least 2 episodes previously discussing that. So what was she thinking?

So now the monastery is connected to the Cloud Kingdom? I'm confused... just like they want me to be, but still.

Episode 9: The Calm Inside

I think I see little Lloyd in the thumbnail for this one...

Yup. There he is. And his voice does not fit his child self.

Baby Lloyd would not have learned that listen so quickly.

Self care Kai.

Man, they are speed-running this season. It feels like all the lore is being shoved and shoved to overwhelm us.

I fucking knew it. The whisper-y voice was Wu. How did they not recognize until now?

Poor Lloyd getting overwhelmed.

That was a bit long-winded, Lloyd, but whatever.

Nice going, Kai.

ZANE!

No, Zane hasn't been conscious in years. That fucking sucks...

Why is Zane acting like he knows everything when he hasn't been around in ages? Just because he was plugged in to the computer doesn't mean he wouldn't be surprised. I love Zane, but come on.

Episode 10: The Battle of the Second Monastery

"Another merge-quake?" "Feels different. Maybe it's... hope!" Lmfao

Some random girl picking Sora as her life-long enemy. The only realistic way to become enemies. Lmao

Wyldfyre inadvertently insulting Kai.

Kai and Wyldfyre beef.

Kai and Wyldfyre besties. That was fast.

Sorry about not taking as many notes now. I kinda don't know what else to say. Plus, I'm kinda just relishing in the fact that Zane's back.

That poor power dragon... oops, source dragon.

So... Lloyd is having a vision. Is that about having to live the rest of his life alone, after everyone inevitably dies?

Good catch, Zane

Kai gaslighting Rapton.

What the hell stopped Rapton.

Wyldfyre destroying Wu's carpet.

So now from dragon hunting to ninja hunting. It was gonna happen eventually.

Raz being betrayed was kinda obvious, but it still seems stupid.

Current progress:

It's finally time for me to watch Dragons Rising!

Time for some incomprehensible note-taking while I ink the last WIP I posted.

⚠️ Spoilers for episodes 1-3!

Here's what I know:

The OG 4 (+ Nya I think) have been lost to time. It's actually the main reason why I didn't want to watch it back when it first came out; I didn't want to watch the series without the characters I loved. (Not the biggest Lloyd fan, so he wasn't enough for me to want to come and watch it.)

The main 4 are found, but Jay is like... brainwashed or something, and works for a facility or whatever.

Cole basically has a boyfriend and kids now.

Geo is adorable.

Kai is also kind of a father figure to one of the new ninja characters. I think her name is Wyldfyre.

The Cole and Zane reunion was ass. You're telling me that, after they couldn't find each other for however long, they didn't go and squeeze the life out of each other? I saw a clip and it bugged me so bad- it looked like they just... clipped two separate clips of Cole and Zane seeing each other and lost the first clip's amount of emotion. Cole was running to go and greet Zane, and then he just puts his hand on his shoulder? Nah. (Maybe it's because I'm a massive Glacier fan, but ugh... I can't help it.)

They kind of made up for it when Zane called puppy Cole cute. That was adorable, especially with how Cole looked up at Zane after turning back into a human.

Okay, let's get this show on the road.

Divider made by steddiecameraroll-graphics

Episode 1: The Merge (1)

Alright, so we're just immediately getting into the merge. Not even minute in, lol okay.

The intro to the ninja was pretty epic.

Standing that close to an explosion... that would've lead to some terrible injury for Arin... (that's his name right?)

Okay, but to watch everything you ever knew and loved just... vanish? That would fucking suck. That probably led a lot of people to go down their villain path.

That zoom in and that angry look on Arin's face... is he gonna become a villain?

So Arin is definitely a kid when the merge happened, given that he has those little Lego legs. So, now, he's at least a teenager. It's definitely been plenty of years. (We're not even 5 minutes in yet.)

Cute puppies at the junkyard.

For everything bad that Ninjago writers do to the series, the animators always pop off with the visuals. The lighting is immaculate.

Arin's voice... it feels familiar. NO FUCKING WAY HE'S CHEF FROM THE TDI REBOOT????? No, how... HOW

Okay... so Arin knows a little bit of Spinjitzu... how? I thought you had to be taught the ways of Spinjitzu before you could learn it. Sure, his role models are the ninja, but there's no way he would've been able to pick up on the tiny things just by watching them do it.

Little dancing robots lol

No matter how many years it's been, hearing the phrase "BFF" be said out loud still makes me cringe, no matter what show I'm watching.

I like that he's a little baker.

Dumbass villain lol

No matter how good of terms I would be with anyone, even a frog anthro, I still would not be cool with them using their tongue to give me a high five.

Why is Mr. Frohicky so adamant about them dropping out?

So the Never Realm is connected to this universe because of the merge. Can't believe I didn't think about that. Could definitely lead to more Zane-Never Realm angst.

That's Starlight Glimmer. Kreel is Starlight Glimmer. Wow.

Oh, Kreel is so cheating.

Yep. AND attempting murder.

So that little dragon gifted Sora with powers? That's pretty cool.

What do you mean "how'd you-"? You know that your spinjitzu is terrible.

So were Sora's powers given to her or already within her?

LLOYD! I already knew we'd see him eventually, but it's still good to see him.

I feel like Lloyd's intro was kinda... rushed? Like, we had less than 30 seconds before the credits and then he suddenly appears? It kinda makes sense, but... idk

Episode 2: The Merge (2)

I miss you, old theme song. I want you back.

So Lloyd saw Arin do spinjitzu, but didn't see who did the spinjitzu? It was clearly weak, and orange, and while [I think] Kai's spinjitzu is orange, he's definitely not weak. Lloyd would have known it was Kai, or any of the ninja he knows. This was clearly just for the reveal to Lloyd, and probably to measure up his disappointment if he ever admits it later on, but like... come on.

Sora becoming a fan while watching Lloyd fight is kinda cute.

Arin, you nasty; wash the mask you put on your face all the time. I bet he's gotten sick countless times because of that thing lol

The fact that Arin immediately calls Lloyd "Master Lloyd".

So Lloyd can't hear Rapton yelling, but he can hear footsteps behind him from an equal amount of distance? Damn, he must've gotten good at ignoring villains' monologues.

Poor Sora... second hand embarrassment is terrible.

The new theme song... no. I don't like it. I'm sorry.

Okay, so the dragon is giving Sora it's powers?

So messages can go anywhere? I don't know why, but I thought that the places that the other ninja were stuck in were completely unreachable, because they were separate universes apart. ... I did notice that there was an unstable crack in the sky in the last episode, when Raz got a hold of the Sora and Arin, so if they are universes apart, maybe that's how they would send messages to each other?

How many times has the Destiny's Bounty been rebuilt.

MASTER WU!

Lloyd believing Wu is just immortal. I kinda get it, but like... look at him. He's gonna blow to dust in - at most - a couple more decades, trust me.

Goddamn, why is Zane full tits out in the flashback?

Okay, so the dragon they found is a "Source Dragon" right?

Lloyd beating the shit out of Kai without even thinking.

Kai and Lloyd's little spin hug... that's cute. It's nice to see them being close.

Yeah, you already said the merge-quakes were getting worse, Lloyd. I don't think you needed to reiterate that lol

I like how Arin's spinjitzu mess ups still end up helping out in the long run.

So is Raz hunting down the ninja?

Ah, so the power is within the ninja and the dragons just enhance the amount of power they have on it by like... 10x.

I like that Lloyd stayed humble and just became the new ninjas' teacher instead of calling himself a master.

Ryu staying with the ninja over his own family feels kinda fucked up... I think the better excuse would be that Ryu's family need to keep Ryu safe while they look for a new home, and the ninja can protect them from danger. The decision Ryu made shouldn't have been up to them, with them being so young.

So, no, they are still hunting dragons, they're just using the ninja as a tool. Got it.

Episode 3: Crossroads Carnival

Sora's not gonna like being a ninja.

Lloyd's gonna be a little asshole lol

Those mechanisms haven't been cleaned ever, Sora. Don't get your hopes up.

Yep, Lloyd's pushing it and trying to be Wu lol

Lloyd's incapability to grow facial hair is more canon than anything lol

How did Sora not get set on fire?

"Without tea, I literally have no idea if that was fast enough-" So Lloyd's just a massive dumbass who looks too far into Wu's teachings? That's funny lmao

Why the fuck would you bring a dragon with you? That's literally the worst idea with dragon hunters around.

Oh, skeleton characters are back! I haven't seen them since... the episodes that took place before season 1? Has it really been that long since they were last used?

"Oh, come on, we never would have done that to Master Wu! ... That's a lie." Lmfao

How does Arin's grappling hook literally grapple onto everything?

Lobo is great actually.

Oh great, Kreel character redemption. That came out of fucking nowhere and feels forced as hell.

"My... only friend." You're calling this person "Targy" or whatever. There's something going on here.

The ninja tribute... that's so sweet.

Wait, so they know who Wu and Nya are, but they don't recognize Lloyd? The green ninja? The guy that is literally supposed to be the most powerful ninja?

The non existent beard strikes again.

"Do not type cast me!" I like this guy's dramatic flare.

"This is like that nightmare I had-" Funny, but does this say something about Lloyd's character?

Raz just goes and hires random fuckos? Hm... Is he connected to Jay in that aspect then?

I'm having a pretty good time with this so far! I don't like the theme song, though; it reminds me too much of She-ra and the Princesses of Power theme song, which also bothered me.

Current progress on the piece I'm inking:

[lonely-lost-soul]

Daddy's Little Girl

Request 10: Dad!Schlatt angst with the reader trying to protect Tubbo because the reader is his older sibling?

Requested By: Anonymous

TW: Abuse

Do you want angst? I’ll give you angst. Never challenge me again. /J

ily /p

(Hints of Wilbur and Techno x reader if you squint)

Growing up with Schlatt as your father had its ups and downs, on one hand, he was hilarious and let you get away with anything you wanted, but on the other hand, he had a drinking problem. When you were a little girl his drinking wasn’t too bad, some days were worse than others but most of the time he was semi cognizant. However, when your baby brother Tubbo came along everything changed, for a while he was sober. He was clear-headed, held a stable job on the SMP, and even helped you with your homework, but alas all good things come to an end. As soon as Tubbo started school, and your mom left he started up again, you weren’t happy. Your horns had begun to curl around your head around that time and your baby brother was enamored. He would wrap his chubby hands around them to pull and trace his fingers over the ridges, Tubbo would declare his horns were going to be just as magnificent as yours one day. You would flush at the praise and ruffle his hair, and told him you could already feel his little nubs growing in, he was overjoyed at the news.

Before Tubbo, Schlatt would never lay a hand on anyone, but something inside him crumbled. You had a few close calls, Tubbo bothering your father a little too much and Schlatt raised a hand to the boy. Luckily, you were always there to diffuse the situation and direct your father’s attention away from your baby brother. You were old enough to know just how impulsive and uncaring drinking made him, you tried to keep Tubbo as occupied as you could while keeping up with your work.

When Tubbo was ten years old he made his first friend.

Tubbo told you the kid’s name was Tommy, and he shared all the new information about his friend. He informed you he had two older brothers named Wilbur and Technoblade, who were about a year or two older than you. Tubbo desperately wanted to introduce you to him, but with your dad to keep an eye on you had to decline, at least for the time being. Tubbo pouted at your response and gave you, your biggest weakness puppy dog eyes, you relented. Promising to go with Tubbo to Tommy’s house in a few days to meet the brothers and supervise his play date with Tommy.

You just hoped your dad would be alright.

The day finally rolled around for you to meet the elusive Tommy and his brothers, you informed your dad that you and Tubbo would be gone for the rest of the day, he said it was alright. You think he just wanted to excuse to drink more while both of his children were gone.

“Come on (Y/n), let’s go already!” Tubbo called with a groan, you hushed him softly,

“Put your jacket on first.”

He reluctantly slipped on his jacket and grabbed his bag, you followed him out the door. Tubbo was buzzing with excitement holding his bee plush close to his chest, going on and on about how great Tommy was and how much he hoped you’d like Wilbur and Techno. Eventually, the both of you came upon a small cabin in the middle of a clearing, it was surrounded by lush pine trees and a little boy in a red and white shirt stood by the front gate.

“Tubbo!” The boy you assumed was Tommy shouted rushing over to the gate,

“Tommy!” Tubbo shouted with a laugh, he looked like he wanted to run towards him but first, he looked up at you. You smiled softly and gave your brother a nod, his face lit up and he charged towards Tommy. They met in the middle and Tommy immediately tackled Tubbo to the ground, a young man with glasses opened the window and began to shout at the blonde. He picked his head up and spotted you in the distance, his entire face flushed red, you sent him a little wave. The boy adjusted his glasses slamming the window shut, you titled your head to the side before seeing him and a taller boy with pink hair. While Tommy and Tubbo wrestled in the dirt the older boys walked up to you, they introduced themselves as Wilbur and Technoblade. They both were hybrids like yourself, you immediately felt at home, no wonder Tubbo liked it here so much.

Through the power of conversation you found out Technoblade was a piglin hybrid and Wilbur was half nymph, Tommy was just a plain human. Either their dad got around or some of them were adopted, you’d ask Tubbo later, figuring it was rude to blatantly ask that question. You found out the entire family thrived off of bulling one another it was quite funny to watch Technoblade roast the ever-loving shit out of Wilbur, unknown to you whenever you let a giggle or two slip past your lips Wilbur would flush and Technoblade would smirk. The end of the playdate rolled around and you found yourself not wanting to leave your new friends, Wilbur offered for you and Tubbo to sleep over but you politely declined. Technoblade shot Wilbur a concerned look when with a smile you said your dad would have your ass if you and Tubbo stayed over.

A few years went by since your first meeting, Tubbo and Tommy became inseparable and honestly, you and his brothers were in the same situation. Although you couldn’t see Technoblade and Wilbur as much as Tubbo could see Tommy the three of you were attached at the hip. Wilbur would constantly write you letters, sometimes the handwriting would switch and you noticed Techno put his blunt opinions into the conversation. Tubbo found one of the letters once and insisted that both boys must have a crush on you, you denied that with a soft laugh, just like your father you were under the impression you were unlovable.

Speaking of your dad, he was rarely ever sober at this point, rather being numb than feeling anything significant. Luckily he could be slightly functional, but mostly it was you raising Tubbo and protecting him from your dad’s off days. Speaking of an off day you had just gotten back from a trip of visiting your favorite boys, it was late and Tubbo was asleep in your arms. He was scratched up a bandaid was on his nose, and a bandage wrapped around his arm, he had taken a particularly nasty fall while wrestling with Tommy. Luckily both you and Wilbur were skilled in patching up rambunctious little brothers and he was fixed up in no time flat. You noticed the light on in the living room and grew concerned, your dad was always passed out in his bed by this time of night, was he alright?

Tubbo mumbled something in your arms and you pulled him close to your chest as to not wake the boy. “Dad?” You called softly wandering into the living room, much to your surprise he was very much awake. Your nose scrunched up in displeasure he reeked of whiskey and cigarettes, so tonight was a bad night.

Noted.

“You reek.” You commented adjusting the sleeping Tubbo in your arms, your father shot you a dirty look.

“Where the fuck have you been with the brat?” He hissed baring his teeth at you, “Do you know how late it is? Do you know how worried I was!” You hated the way your stomach churned with guilt and relief, at least he noticed his children were gone. He shouldn’t be praised for the bare minimum, Technoblade would’ve told you gruffly if he knew the full extent of your relationship.

“Out with Tommy, Wilbur, and Technoblade. Phil’s kids remember?” You responded with a soft sigh and he sent a dirty look your way standing up from his recliner. You backed up a few steps, the man towering over you eyeing Tubbo who was beginning to stir in your arms. Hesitantly you placed a hand over the back of his head, keeping it pressed tightly against your neck and shoulder. It only seemed to make Schlatt’s face scrunch up more,

“He looks so much like your mother.”

“I know dad.”

“Why’s he beat to shit?” He slurred reaching his hands out towards Tubbo, “You let him get hurt?”

“Tommy and he were just wrestling. Just being kids. I patched him up, he’s just sleepy.”

“So you let him get beat?”

“Dad no did you not hear me-” He grabbed one of your horns roughly yanking them down. You yelped in pain dropping Tubbo in the process, he hit the ground with a hard thud crying out from the rude awakening. “Dad you’re hurting me-”

“(Y/n)? Dad?” He murmured groggily barely processing the situation unfolding in front of him.

“Tubbo go to your room.” Your dad hissed at him, spit flying everywhere, Tubbo looked terrified. He looked at you and nodded the best you could with your dad’s iron-like grip on your horn, he scurried away and you felt your eyes fill with tears. If only he was a little older, he’d maybe be able to help you, but he was a child and didn’t need to see what was going to happen. “You’ve been running around without a care in the world, you’ve been going free for way too long. You’ve been a bad girl and now your getting punished.” Your blood turned to ice as the gip on your horn tightened,

“Dad, please I’m so sorry. I’ll make sure we get home on time from now on, you’re drunk. Please don’t do this you’ll regret it come the morning.”

“Shut the fuck up (Y/n)!” He spat his tobacco spit flying all over your face, you grimaced trying not to choke in disgust. “You think you know everything about the world but you don’t, you’re a stupid naive child!” He slammed the side of your head against the brick wall of your house. You yelped in pain feeling something crack against the wall, but it wasn’t your skull, it was your right horn.

“Dad- Dad please stop my horn-” You pleaded as he dragged you back by the hair and slammed you into the wall again. Your horn cracked once more and you screamed in pure agony, blood began to stain the wall where your head it, and your horn began to crack. “DAD!” You sobbed out as your horn broke off falling on the ground with a thud. Blood began to drip down the side of your head, your sobbing seemed to snap Schlatt back to his senses as he let out a soft call of your name.

“Fuck. Fuck baby I’m so sorry.” His voice cracked pulling you into his chest, he pressed his hands against the stub of your horn. You whimpered in pain and Schlatt shushed you softly, “I’m so sorry baby girl. My little girl, I didn’t mean it.” His head pressed into the crook of your neck, just where Tubbo’s was moments prior. “I’m such a fuck up. I’d never hurt you...I can’t do this…”

“It’s okay…” Your voice cracked eyes wide and glassy, it wasn’t okay but you weren’t about to tell him that. “Can I go to bed now…”

“Lemme patch you up first. You might bleed out...scare Tubs.” Schlatt grumbled and you nodded numbly. He helped you to your feet and you swayed, your dad haphazardly bandaged the side of your head and cauterized your horn. That might’ve hurt even more than losing the horn on its own, you held back your whimpers as your dad apologized even more for the pain he caused. “Get some rest alright…I love you.”

“Love you to dad,” You gave him a soft kiss on the cheek, you waited until he slipped into his room before you made your way into Tubbo’s. The boy was downright sobbing under his blankets, you pulled back the covers to find him desperately clinging to his bee plush.

“(Y/n)?” He whimpered looking up at you with wide eyes,

“Hey, Tubs…” Your smile was tense and he frowned, “Mr. Bumbles protect you okay? Just like we talked about?” Tubbo nodded lip trembling, he reached his hand up to touch your bandages. You flinched at his touch,

“Where’s your horn.”

“Unimportant. Just got into a little scuffle with dad, nothing your big sister can’t handle. Tubbo why don’t we go see Mr. Phil.”

“But it’s so late?”

“It’s okay. Go pack up a bag, you’ll be there for a while.”

“What about you?”

You sent him another tight-lipped smile, “I can’t stay there with you, unfortunately.”

“Then I don’t want to go!” He huffed defensively, your smile was wiped off your face.

“Not a suggestion-”

“NO! I’m not leaving you!” You grunted feeling him slam into your middle wrapping you in a tight hug. “Not with him...I need you. Who’s gonna protect me? Or read me bedtime stories? Or kiss me goodnight!” He began to cry through his protests and you knelt in front of him, you placed your hand on his cheek.

“Technoblade and Phil can protect you just fine. Wilbur would love to read you and Tommy’s bedtime stories. You’re too old for goodnight kisses-”

“Am not!”

“I can’t protect you anymore, not from dad.” Your voice shook a little before swallowing thickly, Tubbo’s eyes widened to the size of saucers. He’s never seen you look so scared, you were serious. “You deserve to grow up normally and happily, with a good dad and family.”

“You're good family.” Tubbo insisted grabbing your bigger hand with his own, you let out a wet laugh and held your other hand to your mouth. Swallowing again before responding to Tubbo’s heartfelt compliment,

“I’ll always be your family and I’ll always be your big sister. But for now, you’ll temporarily be part of Tommy’s family. Just until I’m old enough to take you away from all of this.”

“Promise?” He held out his pinky,

“Promise.” You responded interlocking your pinky with his own, he seemed much more satisfied and willing to listen to you now. “Now go pack up alright? We gotta go before the morning,” Tubbo nodded at you and began to gather his things in his bag. Eventually, he was all packed up and you both snuck out towards Tommy’s home, the side of your head was throbbing and you felt completely off balance stumbling over your feet a few times. Tubbo grew concerned but never actually voiced said concern, the two of you came up on Phil’s doorstep. You loudly began to knock at the door and Technoblade answered sword drawn, glasses were haphazardly thrown on his nose,

“(Y/n)? Tubbo?” He blinked blearily, “it’s like three am what-” Adjusting the glasses he finally got a good look at the both of you, Tubbo was still in his footie pajamas and you had officially bled through your bandages. “Who did it.”

“Technoblade please-”

“Who. Hurt. You.”

“I’m so tired, please just go get your dad.” You pleaded locking your eyes with his own, they softened considerably before muttering under his breath.

“Fine. But I’m getting Wilbur to look at your horn.” He demanded marching away from the door, you gently urged Tubbo inside and you both sat down on their couch. Tubbo yawned sleepily and leaned against your side,

“You can go to sleep. You’re safe now Bumblebee.”

“But you’ll be gone when I wake up…” He held Mr. Bumble closer to his chest and you brushed his hair out of his eyes. “I want you to have Mr. Bumble!” Tubbo held the toy out to you, your lips dipped into a little frown.

“Tubs he’s your favorite-

“He protected me from dad. So I’m sure he’ll protect you too.” You wanted to sob as you took the bee from his hands, you were going to say something else when Phil and Wilbur walked into the room. Phil gave you a pitying smile, before calling Tubbo over to him.

“Hey mate. Let’s get you settled into the guest room for now yeah?” The older man smiled at your brother and he nodded sleepily walking over to Phil. He gave you a look that said we’ll talk later as Wilbur walked over to you, the frown on his face was rock solid.

“You gonna explain yourself?” He scolded you like a parental figure would, you bit your lip and shook your head. Wilbur sighed the bags under his eyes were dark and you murmured a soft apology. He reached out and took your cheek in his palm, he leaned close and you felt his breath on his lips. You felt your cheeks turn pink and he leaned in...to take a better look at your horn.

God, you were so stupid why did you think he was going to kiss you just now?

“Jesus Christ…” He murmured as he unwrapped your wound gently. “They fucked you up honey,” Wilbur said softly, his voice dripping with pure concern, “I’m so sorry.”

“I’m alright...It’ll get better.” You smiled a tight-lipped smile that only caused Wilbur’s eyes to flash with pure rage, “Seriously Will. Please just let it go.”

“I’ll never understand you.” He muttered grumpily, much like his brother did when he greeted you at the door. “How can you not want justice for what they did to you? I don’t understand-” Wilbur blinked a few moments pulling away from you, you refused to meet his eyes. “-Did your dad do this to you?” He saw the fear spark in your eyes, “that fucking piece of shit! TECHNO!”

“Wilbur please no- no please he didn’t mean too he was drunk!” You slapped your hands over your mouth and he looked at you with horror. “Wilbur please don’t do anything he didn’t mean to do it, I have to look out for him!” Your breathing got short and rapid, immediately Wilbur felt bad for being so aggressive, “He’ll die without me.”

“It’s not your job to look after your father.” Wilbur looked at you with pity,

“Yes, it is. He’s my family.”

“Family doesn’t do this to you.” He motioned to your missing horn, the motion now made you feel wildly self-conscious, “they don’t hurt you.” You bit the bottom of your lip so hard it began to bleed,

“Just don’t tell Technoblade. He’ll kill him. You know he will, I don’t want that.” Wilbur didn’t look happy about the situation but he agreed reluctantly, but only if you stayed the night alongside Tubbo. You told him you would,

But you’re a liar.

Phil came back into the room a little later and asked to talk to you privately. He asked you what was going on and you explained the entire situation to him, practically pleading for him to take your baby brother in while you got Schlatt under control. Phil of course agreed, but he was not happy about you going back to your dad, especially since you were already injured. You assured him all would be okay, your dad meant well and with Tubbo out of the house, you can put all your energy into fixing him.

Phil let you go that night, and he’d regret it for the rest of his life.

No one in the Minecraft household heard from you again after that night. You seemed to slip out of everyone's memory, Wilbur met Sally and she and his son consumed his life. Technoblade moved out of the house to spread his wings, and the only person who even seemed to care that you were missing was Tubbo. Yet, even so, you began to slip out of his memory too, barely remembering your face. It broke him to pieces that he couldn’t remember his sister, and when he asked Wilbur about you the man's memory was just as fuzzy. The only thing he had was the letters the both of you sent back and forth to one another, he’d gifted them to Tubbo after he discovered them again under his childhood bed. Tubbo thought that maybe, just maybe, word of their new nation would cause you to come out of hiding.

It didn’t.

Eventually, he had to leave his memory of you behind and focus on helping Tommy and Wilbur. He hoped wherever you were you were proud of him, you wouldn’t want him to be miserable and dwell on you, you’d want him to live.

When he saw his father upon the podium the day of the election all he wanted to do was confront him about you, but there were other things to worry about like the fact that Wilbur and Tommy had just gotten exiled. Schlatt died before he got to ask about you, then right after that Wilbur died by Phil’s hand and everything was blown to shit, he had Tommy and that was all he needed.

Wilbur woke up to the soft chirping of birds and an angel sitting on a hillside. He couldn’t feel the grass under his palms or his heartbeat, but he felt something warm flood through him when he saw the angel. She turned towards him, his memory of her was fuzzy but her name wasn’t, “(Y/n)?”

“Hi Wilby, long time no see.” You smiled softly, both horns were missing but your soft ears twitched eagerly.

“Where...are we?” Wilbur whispered walking over to you to sit by your side, “What happened to you?”

“I lost another horn being stupid. Died from an infection while dad was away on a trip.” You pulled your legs close towards your chest, “you’re dead Will. We’re dead. It’s been quiet here for so long.”

“Dead…” He breathed out the negative memories flooding into his brain; he squeezed his eyes shut tight. “Are we ghosts?” You shrugged your shoulders,

“I don’t know, never tried to...go back,” Wilbur watched as you ran your hand through the grass even though Wilbur knew you couldn’t feel it. “Tubbo would be disappointed in me. So upset I died, I’d rather he not know. Makes it easier on everyone I think.” You turned to him, hair falling in your eyes, they were empty and your skin was so pale, he couldn’t imagine what he looked like in comparison. “Are you going to go back?” You spoke again after a few moments of silence, there was a tense atmosphere that filled the room, you didn’t want to be lonely.

“If you’re here, that’s where I’m going to stay. At least for a little while.” Wilbur looked at you, your eyes wide with shock, a brilliant smile spread across your cheeks.

“Promise?”

“With all my heart honey.”

[bratkook]

not yet. jjk

not yet, almost, right now pairing. jungkook x reader genre. fluff, some angst, pg-13 word count. 4.1k warnings. mentions of infidelity, some feelings come to light, unrequited pining, spur of the moment kissing, light grinding on the dance floor, jungkook pops a boner and wants to cry</3 summary. jungkook feels the pang of guilt in his gut when you spot your recent ex out with his new girl, and what better way to make the jerk hurt than to have him believe you were now dating him, the neighbor he had been insecure about your whole relationship note. this is based off a request sent a while back for numbers #43 and #67 from this prompt list! (i think this might turn into a small drabble series...mayhaps)

Jungkook can spot your discomfort easily, the occasional colorful light bouncing off your face showing him the flash of anger in your eyes. The only reason he’s not currently running for the hills, knowing very well how mean you can get when angry, is because your glare isn’t being sent at him. Not yet at least. 

Because of this, he allows himself to enjoy the cute way your nose scrunches up, lips twisting in displeasure as you stare at the crowd of people, eyes locked onto an unlucky bystander. Honestly, he wishes he could hear your thoughts, wanting to know exactly what has your panties in a bunch, ruining your mood instead of letting you enjoy the expensive fruity drink he had just bought you as payment for allowing him to drag you out of the house. Jungkook isn’t a mind reader though, so he decides on his next best option. 

“Who’s got you looking all sour?” he sighs, resting his elbow on the counter of the bar as he inches closer to you, head at your level in an attempt to match your line of sight. 

“Him,” you seethe, brows pinching together, showing those light wrinkles in between them, a product of how expressive you were and definitely something Jungkook always teases you about. 

Jungkook can only hum in question, eyes squinting in the low light as he attempts to find the him you’re talking about. With a slight turn of your head, you’re inches from Jungkook’s cheek, the obvious look of confusion etched onto his soft features letting you know he was absolutely lost. With a soft huff your fingers are gripping his cheeks and moving his face in the right direction, free hand pointing as discreetly as you could to the man in question. 

You know he spots him, you can feel his jaw tense underneath your grip. What you don’t feel is the sudden guilt that fills him up, sloshing in his stomach and mixing with the liquor he just drank until he feels a little queasy. Jungkook instantly regrets coaxing you out of your little dungeon with the promise of cheering you up. If he had known the spawn of satan–dubbed your ex boyfriend and also the reason why you were in a downward spiral–would be here, he would have just let you rot in your bed like you originally wanted. 

“Do you wanna go?” he mutters out, cheeks still squished by your slowly tightening grip, and he begins to accept the fact that you might just break his jaw right now. It’s fine, he thinks, he deserves it. 

“No,” you grunt stubbornly, fingers finally releasing him as you turn back around and choose to face the endless amount of bottles behind the bar. He may be the reason you were currently on a never ending cycle of watching sad, heartbreaking chick-flicks from the early 2000’s, dumping you with the lame excuse that you two were on different paths and he just wasn’t ready for commitment. It’s something you accepted, albeit jaw tense and eye twitching as you did so, but you figured you would eventually find your way back to each other. 

Your mind was warped, believing you were meant to be, that this was just a mere bump in the road that you would laugh at together in the future. 

That is, until he blocked you on all social media, and you had to hear from your best friend that he had moved on days later and was now with some blonde-haired, fresh faced, supermodel-esque woman that you could not get yourself to hate. Instead you took to endlessly scrolling through her instagram while you stuffed your face with milk chocolate and questioned why you had ever convinced yourself that you had a future with him. 

“Good, he’s a dick and you shouldn’t let him ruin your night.” Jungkook grumbles, slinging his arm around you as you hold your forgotten drink by your lips. He had seen your relationship with Hajoon play out from the very beginning, knowing slightly more intimate details than he would like considering you were next door neighbors and happened to share a wall between your bedrooms. 

The friendship you had with Jungkook blossomed right after you moved in four years ago, friendly neighborly talks morphing into actual conversations, and eventually inviting each other into your apartments where you would attempt to beat him at any game you had in your Nintendo switch. It was a great dynamic, providing the two of you with a sense of relief after your busy days at work. 

Unfortunately, the second you got with Hajoon was the end of any of those playful matches, your ex’s jealousy making you distance yourself in an attempt to keep your relationship at bay. 

Jungkook can’t say he didn’t see it coming, having heard the way you’d cry anytime you had an argument and your ex would leave, slamming the door behind him so hard Jungkook’s walls would rattle. It had become such a common occurence it was a shock he hadn’t marched out of his house, met Hajoon in the hall, and gave him a clean right hook in your honor. 

He was secretly hoping you’d break up with the jerk for your own good–and maybe for his own personal reasons too. Your ex was right in being wary of Jungkook, knowing the way a boy's mind worked, sensing Jungkook’s feelings for you in a way you were too blind to see. Jungkook wasn’t a dick though, he could tell you wanted your relationship to work so he kept his distance. 

When weeks went by without the sight of him he began to think you finally did it, a call for celebration that made him want to go over to your place to challenge you for a friendly match of Mario Kart like you used to. 

Until he ran into you in the hall and took note of what a mess you were, his smile falling from his face when he saw how defeated you looked. 

Your shameful confirmation that you had been royally dumped made his heart twist for you, his selfless tendencies urging him to help you feel better in any way he could. You were thankful for it, grateful that he was keeping you company while you moped around, providing you with just the right amount of distraction to allow you to breathe and slowly heal. 

Honestly, today would have been just another day if it wasn’t what was supposed to be your two year anniversary. The second Jungkook heard the telltale sounds of The Notebook starting up in your bedroom—something he hadn’t heard through the drywall separating your rooms in weeks—is when he knew something was up. 

Jump to: now. 

With Jungkook looking sheepish and wishing he had chosen another bar, and you gripping the cup so hard it was a shock it hadn’t shattered in your grasp. 

“He’s with her,” you whisper out harshly, head downcast, swirling the liquid around in your glass as you force yourself not to look back at them. The vision of them coddled up in the corner, her arms wrapped around his while she laughed at whatever he whispered in her ear had stung enough the first time, you weren’t jealous but the pain still lingered inside of you.. 

“Just try to ignore him. Don’t let it bother you,” he attempts to reassure you, the bass of the music muffling the way you try to deny the fact that you’re clearly upset, his attention now elsewhere. 

Jungkook takes a chance and looks back once more, eyes narrowed as he searches for Hajoon in the crowd. He spots him with more ease the second time, seeing the way he lazily drinks from his glass while the blonde rests her head on his shoulder, lips moving as she tells him something that makes him smile. 

“Oh shit,” Jungkook chokes, eyes widening slightly in shock when Hajoon meets his gaze. He’s been caught, too late for him to avert his eyes and pretend he wasn’t blatantly staring. He can only give him a tight-lipped smile that he hopes doesn’t come across as an invitation to come say hello. 

“What?” you question, turning to stare at Jungkook and seeing the look on his face, doe eyes swirling with a mix of emotions. 

“He saw me,” he speaks through clenched teeth, lips barely moving as he does so, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. 

“What?” you repeat harshly, setting the drink back down as your palms grow clammy, finger tugging at your shirt’s neckline when the air becomes thick and stuffy. 

“Oh fuck, he’s coming.” Jungkook throws back the remainder of his drink, grimacing at the burn lingering in the back of his throat before placing the cup down. “Just follow along,” he whispers into your ear, standing tall as Hajoon approaches the two of you. 

He’s ballsy, Jungkook will give him that, more so when he completely ignores Jungkook in favor of calling out your name. 

“Y/N, oh my god is that you?”

Jungkook can’t stop the way he glares at the bastard, not even the small jab to his side that you deliver with your elbow is enough to wipe the look off his face. Still, you pause to breathe, shutting your eyes briefly before plastering a look of surprise on your features as you turn around to face him. 

“Hajoon, what are you doing here?” Your voice has risen a few octaves, pitch surpassing the normal customer service voice and entering unhinged and borderline crazed territory. Hajoon doesn’t notice though, and neither does the girl strapped to his side, the two of them smiling at you and not giving Jungkook a glance. 

“Oh, we’re just celebrating our four month anniversary.” The girl finally speaks up, giving Hajoon a kiss to the cheek and completely missing the way your face instantly falls. Her innocent statement has you coming to the sudden realization that this son of a bitch had been cheating on you for the last two months of your relationship. 

Jungkoon spots it easily though, can sense the way your body tenses up beside him, no doubt will the rage flare up in the form of hot tears spilling over and onto your cheeks soon. One look at Hajoon’s pleased face is enough to not want to give him the satisfaction of seeing the way he affects you. 

“Young love,” Jungkook sighs, long arm pulling you into his side obnoxiously, seeing the way Hajoon eyes the two of you carefully. “I can relate. We’ve been together for...what is it again babe, five months?”

Hajoon doesn’t even attempt to be discreet, eyes bulging out and fist curling at his side. He had hated Jungkook the second he met him, intimidated by his physique and the way he made you laugh with ease, threatened by him in every sense. It was the reason he told you to cut ties with him, his fragile ego not trusting your neighbor, fully convinced all Jungkook would have to do was beckon you over for you to leave him. 

Any man would feel threatened by him, just looking at him now with his long hair framing his face, the challenging glimmer in his eyes as he gauges the other’s reaction. Hajoon follows Jungkook’s arm, seeing how it snakes around your body and settles with his palms curling around your waist, fingers gently squeezing your skin. 

Jungkook chuckles when Hajoon meets his gaze once more, free hand adjusting the yellow tinted sunglasses perched on his head—something that should make him look like an A class douchebag, because who the hell brings shades to a fucking club. But like all things, Jungkook makes it work. 

All of this tied in with that small, white lie, makes Hajoon’s head spin in a jealous whirlwind. It was fine and dandy if he cheated on you but how dare you give him the same treatment, with your neighbor of all people. 

“Five months?” He bites first, eyes bouncing back and forth between the two of you. 

The insecurity is written all over his face, it almost makes him shrink in size and for some reason it fills you with confidence. You stand taller now, sliding your own arm around Jungkook’s side as you nuzzle into him. 

“Almost six.” Those two words are the nails into his coffin of insecurity, probably increasing his trust issues for years to come, but considering it was no longer your problem, you don’t care. 

“Wow, almost half a year. That’s so cute, isn’t it?” His girlfriend coos, perfectly manicured hand placed over her chest, totally missing the way Hajoon looks like a kicked puppy. 

Now that he doesn’t have the one up, he’s no longer interested in sticking around, the gross green monster perched on his shoulder laughing at his misfortune. 

“Adorable,” he grunts out. “We should get back to our table. It was nice seeing you.”

He doesn’t wait for a response before walking away, his girlfriend giving you a small wave before following behind him. The growing distance between you makes your muscles relax, sagging in relief as you release Jungkook’s side and hunch over the sticky bar. 

“I think I'm gonna puke,” you groan out, eyes going crossed when you feel Jungkook rest two fingers against your lips, sending him a questionable stare. 

“Please don’t, that drink was expensive. You’re only allowed to hurl as the grand finale of the night, and we’re just getting started.”

Jungkook smiles when you shut your eyes and groan, your mood was already down in the dumps, and despite the small rush you got from putting Hajoon in his place, you were still craving the comfort of your bed. “Can we go?”

The bartender proceeds to place a glass of water in front of you, assuming your slumped state was due to intoxication and not the gross remnants of running into an ex-boyfriend. You grab the glass regardless, taking a big gulp of the cool liquid and sighing when it helps calm you down. 

“If you really want to go we can, but at least try to loosen up.” His smile is genuine, cheeks pushed out as he looks down at you with kind eyes. “We’ll stay on the opposite side, and if you’d still rather watch the Notebook for the millionth time, we can do that.”

With a half-hearted groan you nod, allowing Jungkook to order another round of drinks for you to enjoy before eventually dragging you out onto the dance floor. He knows how to keep the atmosphere up, goofy smile on his lips as he bobs his head along to the loud beat, hands clasped with yours and wiggling in time to the music. 

“You love this song,” he manages to say through the noise, pulling you closer as he settles into a spot on the decently packed floor. You couldn’t even deny it, he heard just how often you played it through the paper thin walls. That playlist full of hit 2000’s songs was your guilty pleasure, and it was the main reason he had decided to bring you to this club on their themed night. 

Jungkook was attentive, he knew so much about you and played it off casually, always listening to things you say you enjoy, storing them into a folder labeled under your name and shoved into a very important part of his brain. 

You knew he was trying his best to get you to enjoy yourself, so you give in, beginning to sing along to the lyrics of an old song that brought back a flood of memories that made you smile back at him. Jungkook feels the first burst of success bloom inside him, joining in with your singing, raising up your clasped hands as you begin dancing. 

The smile doesn’t leave his face as he stares down at you, the few drinks you’ve had loosening you up and allowing you to push the earlier thoughts away. He feels mesmerized, eyes locked onto you, the flash of colors painting your skin, illuminating you in alternating shades of purple and blue. His heart does that annoying thing where it skips and stutters in his chest, mouth drying up as you drop your head back and sway your hips, slowly loosening the grip in your hands and turning around until your back is dangerously close to his chest.

Jungkook’s hands hover in the air for a moment, panic over taking his brain as he tries to remain calm. He could do this—he has done this before—the two of you would go clubbing before you got with your ex, and dancing definitely played a big part of it. So why was his brain short circuiting?

Sure your ass was brushing up against his crotch with each sway of your hips, but you were dancing, so his mind and his dick could fuck right off. He shakes his head to clear any dirty thoughts as his hands loosely grip your hips, testing the water, and when you smile and look back at him he feels less wary and sways his hips in time with yours. 

You can feel his chest brush against your back, breath fanning along your skin from his close proximity, only getting closer when you lift an arm back and hold his shoulder to pull him tighter against you. The heat sticks to your skin, thin shirt dampening with sweat from the warmth of the bodies around you, everyone in their own state of drunkenness as the bass flowed through their chests. 

Going out like this had been something you missed, used to frequenting the bars and clubs by your apartment with your friends and Jungkook, something that came to a halt because your ex claimed he hated that kind of scene. Something that was clearly a lie considering he was here now, enjoying himself as him and his new girlfriend danced along. 

You didn’t realize when he made his way onto the dance floor, enough distance separating you, but now that you had spotted him you feel like he’s way too close for comfort. In a similar position to you and Jungkook, Hajoon is free to look around while his girlfriend dances on him, eyes locked onto you with a smirk that makes your skin crawl. 

Jungkook is too lost in the music to notice where your attention has gone, earlier effects of the alcohol settling into his bloodstream, warming him up in that familiar way he welcomes. When the song changes, flowing into the next bass heavy anthem, you turn around in his grasp, giving him a brief glance before your hands are gripping his cheeks and bringing him down into a messy kiss. 

This is definitely something he’s never done with you before.

A muffled sound of confusion is swallowed by you as he quickly falls into the motion, large palms gripping your hips, slowly sliding up your back before lightly tangling into your hair to deepen the kiss. Jungkook can taste the liquor on your tongue, mixing with his own as your tongue slips between his lips. He has no idea what came over you but his racing heart and buried crush don’t let him question it, soft lips smacking with yours, not heard between the thrumming music. 

Your fingers feel the warmth of his cheeks, how he blushes into the kiss but you attribute it to the alcohol pumping through him. Harsh breaths fan across your face as he groans, lightly pulling back for a gasp of air but you don’t allow it. “No, don’t pull away. Not yet.”

And who is he to argue with that, blindly letting you bring your lips back together in a messy kiss. Your small pleas for him to continue has all the blood rushing to his cock, the ache felt in his jeans when it starts to harden, pressing into the denim uncomfortably and only getting worse when you gently bite down onto his lip before inching back. 

“Is he still looking?” you question, breath jagged as you peer up at Jungkook’s dazed expression. 

“What?” he dumbly replies, lips swollen and shiny, eyes still focused on your own as he makes an attempt to reconnect your lips. But then your question dawns on him, like a bucket of ice cold water, it sobers him up instantly. Is he still looking?

This was all for show. 

“He’s on the far right.” You motion your head in the direction and observe his face when his eyes move over to check if Hajoon was in fact still there. He does spot him heading out in a hurry though, girlfriend trailing behind him as he exits the club entirely

“No, just saw him leave.” Jungkook clears his throat, fingers slipping out of your hair and settling down over your back just like before. He hopes his solemn expression isn’t amplified by the lights flashing across his face, trying his best to act unaffected, as if he didn’t just pop a boner on the dance floor over a revenge make-out session. 

Luckily you don’t spot his fallen expression, a wide smile spreading across your face in victory, happy that you had successfully put him in his place. 

“I’m so sorry for kissing you.” You gasp in realization, unknowingly pouring salt in the wound when you act as if kissing him was something you would never do if it wasn’t in an attempt to piss off your ex. 

“No, it’s okay,” he waves off and smiles, eyes glancing over to the bar once more. Jungkook needed a drink, maybe five—actually he wouldn’t mind going home and watching The Notebook now, that would surely give him a reason to cry with no questions asked. 

He starts to walk back to the bar with you by his side, the sad look you had earlier entirely gone, replaced with a giddy smile and a pep in your step, so he can’t say he's too upset. 

“God, you should’ve seen how mad he looked when he saw us dancing together,” you giggle, standing inches from him as he orders another drink. Before he can respond, you’re wrapping your arms around his neck and bringing him in for a hug. 

A hug, really?

Still, Jungkook sighs and wraps his own arms around your waist, a defeated smile on his face that he hides as he lets his chin rest over your head. The dip in his head makes the yellow tinted frames fall over his eyes and when he pulls back you snort at the visual, finger gently poking the bridge of them. 

“You look good in those.”

His drink gets placed in front of him then, giving him a good excuse to avoid stumbling over his words from your compliment, choosing to take a gulp of the hard liquor, wincing when it burns his throat. “Thank you,” he rasps out, grimacing at the taste and it just makes you giggle. 

“I should be thanking you. You need to be my fake boyfriend more often.”

Even more salt poured into his wound, topped with a dash of lemon juice in the form of your playful smile and nudge to his ribs, it stings. His heart ache in his chest, more so when he realizes his stupid boner was still going strong. Thankfully the dark lights prevent you from seeing it, the last thing he needed was further embarrassment. 

The yellow frames are placed back over his head as he takes another sip, nodding along to your statement with what he hopes comes across as a genuine smile on his lips once he sets his cup down. “Anytime you want Y/N.”

“I know this night didn’t end with the grand finale of me puking, but do you wanna go home and watch movies? No sappy romance ones, I'm not in the mood for crying anymore.”

He finishes his drink with ease, quickly closing his tab as he agrees. “Yeah, just let me go to the bathroom real quick.” 

You might not be in the mood for crying but he definitely was; he also needed to handle the situation in his jeans, and what better night to stoop this low than tonight. His own version of a grand finale coming in the form of jerking off in the dirty bar bathroom while maybe shedding a tear or two. 

“Okay! I’ll call an uber,” you announce cheerfully, allowing him to walk away as you settle onto one of the sticky bar stools. 

Jungkook’s chest feels heavy as he walks to the bathroom, slipping into the small room and locking the door behind him. His forehead rests against the dirty door, eyes falling shut with a groan. He wishes he had the guts to confess to his crush, needing to push the fear of ruining the friendship away from his mind, wanting to gather possible clues that could indicate that you might feel the same. 

One day, but not yet. 

[phoenixyfriend]

Anakin and the Jedi Babies: Where There’s a Whill, There’s a Windu

Context: original post, chrono

(Summary of the AU: Disaster lineage got tossed back in time. Anakin stayed 21-ish, but Obi-Wan and Ahsoka got deaged, took new names for time-travel reasons (Ylliben and Sokanth, or Ben and Soka) and have been officially adopted by Anakin.)

----------------------

“You’re attached.”

“You’re just now noticing?”

Master Windu eyes him for a few long moments, and then joins him on the ground. Anakin can’t help but smirk. There’s something gratifying about having respect from the man, in this life.

“The other members of the council are concerned.”

“And you aren’t?”

“I am, but for other reasons,” Windu says.

Anakin doesn’t meet his eyes, doesn’t even respond for a long minute. He just looks out over the Room of a Thousand Fountains, spread out below them like hundreds of jungles pieced together in a jigsaw of flora. It’s been his favorite room in the Temple since he was a child, and it’s always overwhelming.

“Most of them have accepted that you adopted them because of Mandalorian customs, and that you stayed where you were due to the will of the Force,” Windu continues. “But they are… uncomfortable with how blatantly your attachments show.”

“Mandalorians are loud and refuse shame. It rubbed off.”

“You said you would kill for these children.”

“I’m their father. That’s kind of expected.”

Windu’s expression is tired. A little tired of stress, but mostly tired of Anakin’s shit. “You know what I’m trying to get at.”

“Do I?”

“Skywalker.”

“No, I’m serious. I need you to spell this out. I’ve had a million slightly-contradicting lectures on this topic, and I’ve been told pretty clearly that I misinterpreted a solid half of them. If you want a constructive conversation, you can’t be vague. I’m thirty-three years old and a father of two, Master Windu, so yes, I’m attached. What you mean by that word is going to change where this conversation goes.”

It’s gratifying to see the Master actually think it over.

“Ylliben’s tattoos have been causing the most recent stir,” Windu finally says. “They nearly all relate to family, whether new or old, and the symbolism is concerning to those who are already upset about the Mandalorian upbringing. They worry that he’ll remain too tied to people he grew up with, and unable to maintain neutrality in future diplomatic ventures, or at risk of a fall if one of the people he’s seen fit to memorialize is injured or killed. The assume a similar state of mind may be applicable to your daughter and yourself, especially given the off-color jokes about how possessive your children are about each other.”

“They’re worried about emotional immaturity,” Anakin summarizes. He offers a wan, unimpressed grin. “They do realize he’s fourteen, right? Nobody’s emotionally stable at fourteen. The hormones are out of whack.”

“I’m aware,” Windu grinds out. “And I’m aware that your histories, of war and all such things, make your ties much stronger, but you can see why the Council worries, especially those who are wary of the memories your children carry but won’t explain. I’m the only one you’ve told, Skywalker.”

“Plo and Depa know.”

“Plo and Depa aren’t on the council.”

“Yet.”

“Skywalker.”

He relents. “It’s not about Mandalore, Master Windu. It’s about Tatooine.”

Windu lets that sit for a few moments, and then sighs. “I don’t know enough about Tatooine to parse that.”

“Shmi and I are former slaves,” Anakin says, as bluntly as he can. “I was freed at nine, she at eleven, and for all that we are free, we’re not freeborn. We were born slaves, and raised slaves, and we were freed too late to forget that life. The way we think is always going to be affected by the way we grew up. That applies to all sentients, more or less, but it’s… the slave mentality is completely at odds with Jedi teachings, because Jedi teachings can only be taught in a safe environment.”

Windu nods slowly, and says, “That does make sense, but it’s… forgive me, but that’s why we don’t normally take children older than four.”

“From the perspective of teaching cultural values, that makes sense,” Anakin allows. “Teaching a Jedi child that’s cared for with communal resources that they do not need material things to be happy is fine; trying to convince a slave child of the same, someone who grew up being told they do not deserve material things, and that their owner can take anything at any time, including family? I lived that life, trying to adjust to ascetic Jedi values that coincided poorly with slave rules. I know exactly how poorly that transition can go when the person caring for the child doesn’t know how to handle the points of conflict.”

“Do you regret joining the Jedi?” Windu asks.

Anakin shakes his head. “My Jedi master, bless him, cared, and tried very hard, but he wasn’t ready to handle a kid like me and in hindsight, I know that. He needed grief counseling, and I needed therapy, and neither of us was getting it. I don’t… I don’t believe anyone in the Temple would have known how to handle a kid like me.”

“But you don’t regret it.”

“I was meant to be a Jedi,” Anakin says, as firmly as he can without getting unnecessarily bitchy about it. “My struggles with the Code aside, I was meant to be here. But the Temple doesn’t have any resources for children who come older, and I think… I think you do need that.”

“You just outlined why a child can’t follow the Code if they come from a different enough background,” Windu says.

Anakin shakes his head. “No, that’s not—I think a kid like me can learn to be a Jedi, if a little unconventional, if they’re taught correctly. The desperation to cling to anyone and anything you have can be unlearned. It takes time and effort, but it’s possible. Soka and Ben are good at balancing Tatooine care with Jedi control. If you talk to Ben, you get an entire philosophical breakdown about it, but I’m more concerned with the child psychology, because that’s what could have broken me.”

Windu frowns. “You’re building up to something.”

“I think the Jedi need programs for children found older who can’t become full Jedi,” Anakin asserts. “Even those who cannot reconcile what they absorbed growing up with the Code and Jedi tradition… they, we, need guidance. The Council tried to reject me for being too old, and now that I’m grown I understand why, but… Master Windu, what do you think would have happened to me if I hadn’t had my Master to fight for me, and had been turned away?”

“We’d have looked into placing you back with your mother and, upon finding out that she was still enslaved, secured her freedom,” Master Windu says. “Qui-Gon Jinn had taken responsibility for you, and thus you were a ward of the Temple until such a time as you were safe again. It would have been cruel to keep you from your mother if we were not to raise you a Jedi, and crueler still to allow you to return to slavery.”

“And you think I’d have been safe with her?” Anakin asks. He needs Master Windu to understand this. “You think that would have ended well?”

“You don’t?”

“Ventress,” Anakin says. “Maul. Aurra Sing, even.”

Windu considers that. He looks across the grand, green room of the garden, and finally speaks. “You think you’d have been found and corrupted by a Sith.”

“I’d already helped Naboo win a battle. I was a powerful child with no support system in this respect, eager to please,” Anakin says. “Ventress and Maul both got twisted into Sith Apprentices. Aurra Sing was just a bounty hunter, but… even if the Jedi had never found me, and the Sith remained unaware, do you think I’d have ended up better than Sing? Or would the pressures of slavery have led to my Fall anyway, eventually slaughtering my owner, the Hutts, the entire system of Tatooine’s hells?”

Windu rubs a hand over his forehead. “I understand what you’re getting at.”

“It’s not just me,” Anakin says, as carefully as he can. “Even without the Sith, there are plenty of Force-Sensitive children in terrible situations that are liable to Fall just because of how power is wielded by those at the bottom. Refusing to take on students who are already at risk… the Jedi are meant to monitor Force users to prevent Sith and other dark-aligned people from harming the galaxy. It’s one of our primary duties. If the Jedi are allowing darksiders to rise just because of an age limit…”

“I get it,” Windu says, just a little aggressive. “I understand. Give me a minute.”

Anakin tries to wait. He’s older now, he can do that. He can be patient.

He tries to convince himself that it’s true.

“You have a point,” Master Windu finally allows. “And with the knowledge that the Sith are out there, still, it’s a more salient point than most would think. The EduCorps already has a subdivision for teaching meditative techniques to low-level force users who need to learn shielding but aren’t sensitive enough to be Jedi, or are just too old, but I see your point about encouraging a program for powerful Force-Sensitives that aren’t discovered early enough to integrate into the community in full.”

“And a more comprehensive Search pattern for the Outer Rim?” Anakin suggests. He shrugs at the look he gets. “What? You’ve seen my midicount. I was on Tatooine for almost a decade, and the only reason anyone found me was that Qui-Gon had to crash a ship in the middle of nowhere. I’m sure the Force led him to me, given all the coincidences, but that’s still a solid nine years that nobody did, despite how I apparently ‘shine like the sun’ or whatever.”

“Humble.”

“The last time I took a midichlorian test on a portable counter, it literally broke the device. That’s not arrogance, that’s just absurd.”

Windu looks exhausted by the comment. Anakin can’t bring himself to feel too bad about it.

“What about Jedha?” Anakin suggests instead. “Jedi find the kids, but if they’re too old to be Jedi, we could coordinate with one of the temples at Jedha to see about having them raised in the traditions of the Whills? They’re a little less orthodox, aren’t they?”

“In some respects,” Master Windu says. “More constrained in others, but… it’s a possibility. Most of the overlooked children, yourself included, are from parts of the Outer Rim that aren’t part of the Republic, Skywalker.”

Anakin shrugs. “And many of them would have been happy to be found and collected by a Jedi, even if they couldn’t become Jedi. Not the Dathomiri, since they’ve got their own thing going on, but… from what I know about Ventress, she actually did have a Jedi Master before the situation on Rattatak became… what’s the word… untenable? He died and she was left alone, and she’d been a slave already and it just… did not end well for her. But that was a planet overrun by pirates and warlords, and would have been approved as a planet the Jedi could help without it being a weird colonialism thing… if the Senate weren’t made up of cheapskates, at least.”

“Skywalker.”

“My name isn’t actually a reprimand, you know.”

“You’re not supposed to just say that,” Windu groans, running a hand over his face. “The Senate’s choice in funding is not optimal, but insulting them in that way, even in private—”

“They’re assholes,” Anakin says, and doesn’t let his humor show. “Except my late wife, but she’s not part of the Senate in this time, so I feel no shame in accusing the entire shitshow of being cheapskates.”

Windu looks about ready to push him off the ledge.

“You’re never allowed to go on diplomatic missions, are you?” Windu mutters.

“Unless it’s to Mandalore,” Anakin clarifies. “Also, never send me to Tatooine. Ever. Please. I kriffing hate that planet.”

“I’m going to assume you have plans to kill a Hutt if we ever send you to—”

“Yes.”

“Okay,” Windu sighs. “I’ll discuss this with the Council, see how they feel about reaching out to Jedha for your suggestion regarding the Whills.”

“And you’ll tell them not to worry about my kids?”

“Skywalker, they are never going to stop worrying about your family,” Windu tells him.

“That’s fair.”