#naturally good at it. like once i hit college I really realized that as long as I studied well I would always do better than those who

[wutheringmights]

I read "The End of Everything (Astrophysically Speaking)" by Katie Mack (of Hozier fame, of course), and it made me feel really stupid. This is a "pop" science book that, for all its complicated cosmology, it meant to be digestible to common lay men like me. But, man. My brain just could not grasp it.

I don't think it's Mack's fault. If I read a paragraph, I could summarize what it was saying. It was when concept A had to be combined with concept B that I felt all comprehension slip through my fingers. I would read the same page thrice, hoping that it would become clearer the closer attention I paid to it. But, nope. Water through a sieve.

My problem is that as an adult, I am starting to regret how fiercely I avoided taking rigorous STEM classes as a kid. While I was okay at math, I could never grasp science. I did everything in my power to take the easy science classes from middle school, high school, then college professors who weren't really trying to make me learn something.

Doing so kept my grade point average up, but as an adult, I'm realizing how little I understand how the world works. I have friends who can give mini-lectures about the types of clouds in the sky or how nutrients in food works, and so on. Me? I can talk about science and technology from the perspective of the humanities (a great example would be the intersection of racism and technology, as described in Ruha Benjamin's "Race After Technology," which I highly recommend), but I don't truly understand how the world works.

I've been a bit desperate to expand my knowledge as of late. I've even come close to buying an algebra workbook so that I can work on my math skills again.

I picked Mack's book because I love space and learning about stars and planets. It turned out to be more complicated than I had originally anticipated.

I'll try rereading it again at some point, hopefully when I've learn a bit more about science first. In the meantime, I can at least appreciate the times when Mack's speculation about how the universe works and how it will end turned philosophical. There were enough moments of poetics that I could appreciate right now, at least.

Kids, don't be like me. Take your damn science classes seriously.

[wasitforrevenge]

new romantics

pairing: MODERN AU!college azriel x female reader

warnings: may be some triggering content including tampon is a douchbag at a party, mentions of drugs and alcohol, mentions of sexual activity but nothing major, smut books mentioned (hehehe) a fight occurs but can you blame him? he’s just defending your honor ugh, two idiots in love who want nothing but each other and can’t admit it, no use of y/n, imagine her as you, because it is YOU! half editted… ill get to it later i promise

word count: 4.5k

summary: your new study partner is better than you first realize… and now you can’t stop thinking about him, but he can’t stop thinking of you either.

authors note: hi first time writing for acotor! been a fan of these books for a while and my baby azriel does something to me!!! so here’s something i spent the night writing it was 10 different things before it was this lol! pls like, reblog and comment! thank you everyone for reading! photo credit to pinterest, and please i strive to do better so any thoughts pls free feel to let me know! thank you for the support! this is the first time i’ve had the energy to write in months so pls dont go too hard

you met azriel in a greek mythology lecture that you both ended up in during the second semester of your sophomore year. getting partnered with an incredibly built and handsome man for a history report your teacher assigned was the least of your problems when you realized how fucking kind and beautiful azriel is on the inside and out.

the real problem came when you realized how hard you were falling for this man when you started hanging out casually, hitting the coffee stand before class or getting food after a long day. you learned so much about him in a matter of months and couldn’t get him out of your head.

you never spoke existence to your feelings for him, mainly because you didn’t want to ruin a very good potential friendship but partly because you didn’t think you were good enough for someone like him. you’ve heard little whispers about his other… activities and you couldn’t help the way it made you feel.

at the start of your junior year, you and azriel were practically best friends and it just felt so natural. the way you two were together. the way your conversations flowed and the way the silence was never deafening when you were together. you spent time cuddling on the couch in your living room watching movies and rating tv shows and going to visit parks around town and getting high as fuck. once time you had even gone crazy and took some acid and spent hours at the aquarium watching all the fish. you studied for classes together, the one you shared and the ones you both took on your own.

you and azriel were always testing out new recipes in his large kitchen. its wonderful that he lives alone. alone as in by himself but you cannot glance over the fact that the rhysand and feyre along with cassian and nesta live on the same floor of this apartment building close to campus. you luckly only live 2 floors down, a thing you realized when you managed to see him in the elevator about a week or two after you first started studying together.

you were debating all summer about confessing your feelings to him but could not gather the courage to bring yourself to admit it to him and face rejection. you couldn’t mess up the relationship between you already. he was your best friend and you really didn’t have too many besides him. you’ve met his family and have spend a lot of time with them, they’re all practically adopted you at the point, they welcomed you with smiles and open arms (besides amren but they told you she’s always like that.)

but a couple weeks into the semester, you and nesta were standing in a kitchen of a person you don’t know debating on what shitty cheap alcohol you’ll be indulging in tonight. it was the first big back to school party and it was still hot as hell out so you were dressed in dark denim shorts and nice tank top along with your black converse.

you and nesta instantly clicked when you met. bonding over smutty books and all the tv shows you managed to watch. she’s felt like your first real girl-friend ever, you guys got some comfortable together and every time you guys hung out, it felt like no time had passed. it was refreshing to have someone to talk to. she also happens to be the only one who knows about the feelings you harbor for your other best friend.

as you’re about to pour the tequila into your red solo cup, you hear someone call nesta’s name and she tells you she’ll be right back before scurrying off to whichever of her friends was calling her. leaving you there alone not knowing anyone at the party, nesta told you the rest of the group was going to meet you there but you have yet to see any of them as you turn your head around the room.

as you fill your cup and turn to put the bottle back down on the counter, you feel a hand glide around your waist and are suddenly aware of a man extremely too close your liking. “hey baby” he said as he slurred his words, clearly intoxicated, by the way he looked and smelled. it sent more warnings through your head even after he grabbed you like that. you had to leave, this couldn’t happen. thoughts are rushing through your head. you move your hand to push his arm off you as you turn around to be face to face with a tall blonde with long hair.

“what was that for?” he drags out as he tried to put his hand back on you. you instantly tried to move towards the way nesta went and told him, “please get off!” but he was too fast and held your upper arm in a death grip before he tugged you closer to his chest, his other hand back on your waist like the first time he did it. your eyes close in fear as he leans down to whisper something in your ear, but he’s gone in an instant.

it all happened so fast. all you see is a large, muscular, tattooed arm flying in front of you, hitting the man who was on you just seconds ago. you watched shocked as you finally lock in to the situation before you.

azriel beating the shit out of the man who had just laid his hands on you.

azriel swung his fist again towards him, hitting him square in the jaw, “what the fuck do you think you’re doing?” he screamed at him, having another punch already landing with his other fist.

the man doesn’t respond before he swings back at azriel and managed to get a decent swing in, the hit landed to his lip but azriel doesn’t move at all. he’s standing still in the spot, continuing to tower over him.

azriel shoved the man back into the counter and landed a powerful hook right to his nose simultaneously. he cried out as it made contact, “fuck dude c’mon,” he reached up to grab it, blood pouring from his broken nose and busted lip. he steps closer as he removes his hand looking at the red liquid that has held onto his skin, ready to defend himself against the beautiful man that your eyes cannot stray from.

but azriel is faster and before he could even blink, managed to grab a hold of his shirt and pull him up to where his toes barely touched the floor. his hands fall at his sides and his eyes widen in fear as azriel gets closer to his face, leaning down to whisper something in his ear that you can’t hear over the loud music, people partying and the screaming and crying in your heart as you watched this all unfold.

suddenly azriel is tossing the man back into the counter and he barely managed to grab it and hold on, azriel suddenly grows larger, as if he could get any bigger, and leans to spit out the blood that had collected in his mouth behind him. and suddenly your attention is focused on the warmth now englufing your wrist. your eyes immediately register the sight of him standing in front of you, this was warm and right, his hands on you. it just felt so right.

his other hand reached out and gently lifts your chin to meet his gaze. the way the sense of safety coursed through you with his simple touch just confirmed, yet again, that this was going to be so hard for you to tell him.

“hey baby…” he spoke softly, his eyes darted between both yours. his attention solely on you. he let his finger rub against your cheek as he finished, “are you okay?” you can’t help the feeling the shoots through you at the use of the pet name and the look of shock that painted your face. not knowing if it came from, whether it was from what unfolded in front of you at this party or the fact he still holding your face and talking to you like this, so sweetly.

you blinked a couple times and the realization hit you that you’ve just been standing there, staring into his beautiful eyes. not paying attention to the group of people that crowded around as the fight was happening or the looks you guys are getting from other party goers that still surrounded you. the only thing you can stand to focus on his gaze.

azriel.

“i don’t know,” you almost whisper towards him, feeling his warmth covering you both. before you can talk again, he moves his scarred hand from your wrist, you feel almost… empty at the loss of contact but that doesn’t last long as he slipped his hand into yours and intertwined his fingers with yours as he guided you towards the front door.

you passed by so many people, you tried not to pay attention to all the looks you were getting. girls stared as they realized it wasn’t themselves in azriel’s grasp, but you. it was your hand he was holding. your heart beat at just the thought of it, your nerves were already shot as the events unfolded not even 10 minutes ago and this did not help one bit.

your eyes manage to catch nesta’s in the crowd, her eyes widen as she takes in the sight before her, azriel holding your hand and leading you out of the party. oblivious to what actually happened to cause this, she gave you a huge smile and two thumbs up. you cant help but silently chuckle at your friend despite the other overwhelming feelings you have. you’ll explain the situation later when you text her but you were sure eventually she’d hear what happened.

he leads you out the front door and looks back at you with a small smile as you trail behind him. he walked you over, without a word and hands still intertwined and you finally notice your next to his old beat up mustang on the side of the street, the one that smells like him and the faint smell of weed that always lingers regardless of the last time he smoked in there.

he opened the car door for you and you released your hand from his and got into the passengers seat. once you were in, he reached over and buckled your seatbelt for you, giving it a tug to make sure it was connected before smiling down at you from outside the car. he shut the door satisfied and walked around the back of the car to open his own door and sat inside.

the silence is comfortable. it always has been, you pray that sometimes it’s awkward or uncomfortable but it never is. you sit in your seat, eyes staring down towards the hand he had been holding, almost in disbelief, that he defended you like that. you’ve never seen azriel angry like that either. he turns to face you, wanting you to meet his eyes.

azriel walked in the front door of the party, after having a pretty day. the customers at the restaurant he works truly sucked today. small tips and even shittier people. all he wanted to do was smoke off some steam and get drunk with cassian and rhys. he knew you were going to be here. cassian mentioned it in passing while talking about nesta so he was also on the look out for you. the girl who managed to catch his heart after having been partnered together. azriel couldn’t help the way he felt about you even though it almost felt wrong to him.

he didn’t want to take advantage of you, he knew you were shy and never really been in a relationship. he found that out when he walked into the kitchen of cassian and nesta’s apartment, and overheard nesta telling cass all about you after her and you hung out for the first time outside the group. so he just tried to ignore his feelings but regardless of that fact you were his bestfriend. he just couldn’t escape you.

and when he walked into that kitchen to see tamlin standing over you, your arm tight in his grip, the way your eyes were slammed shut trying to back away from him. he didn’t even think. he was there pulling him off you before he could even recognize what he was doing. throwing punches left and right towards the man who dared touched you. he barely even registered the hit he managed on no one but him can put his hands on you. he’s had that thought before but never brought life to it, but here? now?

all thoughts of guilt for feeling that way vanished. there was no way he was letting anyone touch you. but him. that’s all he wanted. he wanted you in a way he didn’t think was reciprocated. love was a funny thing to him, something he was never accustomed to until after he met rhysand and cassian.

his family never showed it, he lives with the constant knowledge of that every time he looks down at his hands. he thought about the way you never judged him of them, like it was nothing at all to you but that was everything to him.

the one sided crush he harbored on mor for a couple years was nothing in comparison to the way he felt about you. his few flings he had over the past couple years (after he realized it was pointless liking mor, also… because she slept with cassian) were mildly of convince and of urge but once he met you, he knew he was a goner.

he stopped the girls. the stopped the meaningless flirting and hooks up and took to just pleasuring himself to the thought as you, as shitty as it made him felt after. sometimes he just couldn’t look you in the eye the next time he saw you but you never said anything. you never commented on it and he silently thanked you in his head.

but right now, after he pulled you out of the party, scarred hand in yours, he needed you to look him in the eyes. but you still hadn’t and he couldn’t just keep staring at the face of the beautiful woman in front of him while it was coated with anxiety and exhaustion.

azriel lifted his distorted hand to your face meeting the soft warm skin that was your own. he gently brought your face to meet his gaze and as you locked eyes, the spark hit you yet again.

gods he was breathtaking. dark hair that covered to above his ears, the eyes that seemed to stare into yours every single time they met, the tattoos that covered him and his golden brown skin that you swore shined outright during different points in the day. your heart cannot handle this man.

“please,” he practically whispered you barely even registered that he said it before he continued, “are you okay, what can i do?” the sound in his voice felt desperate as his eyes bore into yours, the feel of his hand on her face, you couldn’t help but lean into his grasp and close your eyes, taking in the feel of him. you responded a moment later after letting out a sigh and looking at him again.

“can we just go home? i just want to sleep” you asked him with a pleading tone as you feel his thumb rub against your cheek for the second time that night. ugh the things this man does to you. all you wanted was for him to hold you, to feel the press of his body against yours. anything to get the feeling of someone else off you. “yeah baby, we can.” he said gently before he moved his hand down to yours and gave you a light squeeze before he turned the car on and shifted into gear, pulling off in the direction of home.

once you arrived back to the apartment building, he parked in the lot next to the front door and moved around the car to open your door, he gave you his hand as you stepped out. he went to put his hand at your lower back as he opened the door for you but decided against just in case that was a lot for you right now. he did not want to make it worse. he could see the fear in your eyes back there, no way would he subject you to that if you weren’t comfortable with it. so instead he just followed behind you, hitting the button to the elevator to take you up to your floor.

the elevator luckily isn’t taking forever today so when it opens, you and azriel step in and he goes to hit the floor for your apartment but your hand reaches out and stops him. “can we go to yours please?” your head moves up to meet his gaze but his eyes are focused on where your hand is on his wrist. a second later his eyes meet yours and he gives you a small nod and hits the button for the fifth floor. you remove your hand and lean against the wall right next to him, his hand reaches out and entangles his bumpy fingers with yours.

“is this okay?” he asks you. you can barely hold it in after that, the tears finally fall. he feels the sudden change in your body as he moves closer to you but removing his hand from yours in fear that you didn’t want to touch him. but in reality that’s all you want. you want him to touch you. you want him to love you. you want everything with him. its all just so overwhelming, everything that has happened.

he goes to speak but before he can get a word out, your body is on his engulfing him in a hug around his long torso, he instantly wraps his arms around your smaller frame. he can feel your body shake with tears and all he wants to do is make sure that no one ever makes you feel like this again. you deserve so much better, he only wishes he could be better for you too. you squeeze him tighter and he just holds you until the elevator door opens and you pull away from him. mascara and tears running down your face, you can see it on his shirt. he smiles at you before he pulls his hands to your face and wipes your cheeks off with his rough yet soft hands.

you cant help the laugh that escapes you as he wipes his hands on the t-shirt staining it even more with the leftover residue on your face. he gives you a chuckle before connected your hands yet again, walking with you out of the elevator to his one bedroom apartment. he fishes in his pocket with his other hand and pulls out his keys. he unlocked the door and held it open for you to walk in.

your senses are taken over by the smell of him. the smell of his candle lingered from the coffee table covered with textbooks in the large living room, he has a basket of blankets he keeps in the corner because he knows you get cold watching tv. he has a big L shaped couch which had a 60 inch tv across the room, with a boatload of dvds underneath. something you both agreed was a dying art. you and azriel swear physical media will make a comeback one day but you guys will never forget how they ruined it!

his space was a lot bigger since you have a two bedroom apartment. but it was perfect for him. azriel had loved the way he made his space his own, his bass guitars set up in the corner next to his collection of vinyl records and a record player that rhys and cassian got him when he turned 21… as well as a shit ton of booze. he had a bookshelf that held his favorites, as well as your own.

he bought a copy of almost every book you talked about so that he was in the loop with what you were reading. even the ones you didn’t talk about that he caught on your nightstand or in your reading nook. when he bought one of those and read it, his jaw dropped. he immediately thought of nesta and her smutty books but this sent something else though his body. he couldn’t help but keep reading… he wondered if you thought about him while reading these scenes of them ravishing each other, in every way imaginable. he sure did! his right hand hates him!

and you definitely did to… thought about him in ways that you shouldn’t. thinking about him doing all those things to you. the way you knew he would take care of you. the way you knew you could take care of him, despite how inexperienced you are. the thoughts drove you crazy. it was practically all day and every day at this point. thinking about the way his hands would feel running up your thighs or the way his lips would feel on yours.

now here you are, standing in his living room, just wanting all that and little did you know… he did too.

“hey az…” you uttered towards him. he was already next to you as you spoke, “can we lay down please?” your voice was barely a whisper.

he didn’t even need to speak, he just brought you to his room. he lead you to sit on the corner of the bed as he turned and riffled through his dresser, pulling out a large dark green shirt and handing it to you with a smile, “change into this, i’ll be right back.”

“can i take a shower?” you asked azriel shyly. “yes of course, one sec.” you watched as he walked out the room and shut the door behind him. you took your shoes off and placed them by the bedroom door next to azriel’s shoes. he came back in a second later with a fresh towel and a water bottle.

“here you go, you already know where the shower is,” he says with a small chuckle. you give him a grateful smile and a thank you as you took the items from his hands and gave him one last look before heading into his connecting bathroom.

you turned on the hot water and you stripped out of your clothes and threw them into the laundry hamper in the corner of the bathroom. you got in the shower and felt instantly better. the way the water followed hot you could feel the touch of the man from the party washing away, only to be replaced with thoughts of azriel touching you instead. you reviled in it.

you washed your hair and body with his shampoo, conditioner and body wash. silently thanking him for not using 3-in-1 (nesta found out that’s what cassian used and flipped shit) you finished your shower and dried off with the towel he gave you.

you put on his t-shirt that made its way down to your mid thigh when it was on completely. you loved when you were covered in him. you walked back out into the room and didn’t see azriel so you took your seat at the edge of the bed and waiting for him to come back. you sat there and picked at your nails, feeling so wore out you didn’t even want to cry anymore.

azriel came in two minutes later, dressed him long flannel pajama pants and you can see the band of his underwear peeking out as he gets closer to you. he changed after you went into the bathroom, and then went to the kitchen to make sure he was stocked up on the tea you liked and the snacks you guys enjoy together, just in case you got hungry.

he ran around his living room and cleaned random odds and ends. putting dishes in the sink, folding the blankets thrown on the couch and organizing his cd collection. anything to busy himself instead of thinking of you in his shower. anything to get his mind off the amazing woman just in the other room. he hears the shower turn off and waited a few more moments before heading back into the room.

he moved the covers down to make room for you as he said, “after you princess,” with a smile on his face. you returned it and stood up to make your way to the bed but not before turning to hug him again. his arms wrapped around you as you mumbled “thank you azriel,” into his chest. you hold on for a few moments before releasing him. he looks at you before motioning to the bed, “i would do anything for you, you know that.” you felt your cheeks grow red at the thought, at the knowledge that he would.

you climb into the bed and laid your head on the pillow, turning to look at azriel, you wondered why he was still standing. “az are you coming?” you said bashfully. he blinked and bent down to the bed to be eye level with you. “i’m gonna sleep on the couch tonight.” you could feel the way your face dropped in disappointment as you registered what he said. he saw it too and felt it deep in his chest.

he stood up and was about to say goodnight but you beat him to it, “azriel please i need you.”

you could feel how desperate you sounded but you didn’t care. you just needed him. next to you right now. he said nothing else as he moved the blankets again, but this time he was under them. he didn’t hesitate to pull you into his chest, your hand found it’s way over his fast beating heart and his tattooed arm wrapping around you. the warmth and scent of him took over everything in your body. you finally felt safe. your legs tangled together as you eventually fell asleep to the rise and fall of his chest.

“i need you too.” he said to a room with no one awake but him to hear.

part 2??? i would love to write one! let me know what you think! i’d love to keep writing for acotor so yay! pls enjoy :) i’m on the edge of my seat writing this hehe

[prettyboykatsuki]

best friend yuuji? you’ve just rang the dinner bell

i was just thinking like.

im adding this after writing but this is soooo fucking long lmao im sorry.

tags for fem!reader (reader is referred to as a girl many times, no explicit mention of anatomy), best friends to lovers, 18+ etc

okay. i feel like you and yuuji meet in a stereotypical way

yuuji is your best friend. you met when you guys were sat next to each other in school (classic case of quiet kid and loud kid) but yuuji is uber friendly so he naturally made friends with you. you guys always clicked. in a weird way. no one else could ever fully grasp it

but you just get each other. you have similar mindsets and find each other comfortable. so you grow up and into each other - and become best friends after a long while. he comes over a lot to yap while you study and while it looks one-sided - you often take care of and look after yuuji and make sure he's not carrying too much at once.

anyway . you have a really good relationship. you're not glued at the hip but it's like, you stick together so much people often ask where the other is when one of you is missing. you get older to around middle school and puberty starts to really . hit you know.

a lot of girls confess to yuuji in that time. it's normal. sure he's rowdy and loud but he's the kind of good guy you notice when you really talk to him. fundamentally good, and not crude and shallow like other boys your age. popular but not obviously. it's the first time in your relationship you are self conscious about being his best friend and just happening to be a girl

there's rumors and stuff. you and him never talk about it until some stuff happen (like yuuji seeing it cause problems) and then you talk. the gist of it is basically that - you're yuujis best friend in the world and nothing could change that. it doesn't matter who you are. he's just trying to show you he cares

and you realize right then you are in love with him.

years go by. you get a little older. you go through highschool much like middle school - with no boyfriend. yuuji dates infrequently but usually gets broken up with. this pattern repeats into college.

(what you don't know, because yuuji never bothered to ask - is that the girls he used to date broke up with him simply because he wouldn't shut up about you. everything he should've done with a girlfriend he did with you already. he even keeps pictures)

when you get into college and grow into adulthood, you and yuuji are still extremely close. you chose to stay home and so did he - so not much is very different. except now you're meeting all sorts of new people and having new relationships form.

you don't know how exactly it comes up. you're studying for an upcoming midterm, yuuji is talking about how he got turned out by the cute girl that he works with and he pauses and asks.

"you know, i know you study hard but you should have fun too," he says this laying in your bed like he owns it, turning his head to look at you where you're bent over your desk. "haven't you thought about getting a boyfriend now that you're in college?"

you are good at brushing this off. you've been doing it for years. you do not tell yuuji that you don't date guys even after you get asked out because you're in love. you just shrug and tell him straight.

"i already told you. im not going to think about dating until i'm finished with school and i've held my career for two years."

"but aren't you bored?" yuuji asks, sincere. he doesn't press you but he is being nosy. "i don't play around that much either but i don't know. a little is healthy. and you've always working hard. playing around with handsome guys might be fun."

"not gonna change my mind."

"don't you get i dunno," he lays on his back. "sexually frustrated, though?"

you pause. you flinch. you've never talked about this before.

you clear your throat a little. "don't be inappropriate. and i do the job myself just fine."

"i guess girls don't have to worry about losing their virginity as much as guys but,"

you try to move on as swiftly as you can from talking about this in relation to yourself. "you make it sound like you slut around, yuu-chan."

he laughs a little behind you. "well no but you know. it's nice laying with another person. only if we're together though."

"yeah, sure. good for you. stop pestering me about it then and go get a girlfriend."

"so mean," he replies, laying back on his stomach. "but do you really not care at all about losing it?"

you frown, swallowing the words explaining that you do care but not just anyone will do. you give him a half truth. a lie of omission.

"it's not that i don't care but it has to be with someone i trust a lot. i don't know any guys like that, so,"

"ehh?? what about me?"

you freeze. you're sure you're mishearing it. "what about you?"

"well... you trust me right? so i could help you with it until you do find a boyfriend,"

you turn around. surely not. surely you misheard. surely he did not tell you to have sex with him so casually. you turn around to verify he's fucking with you.

only to find the most blatant sincerity you've ever seen. he's never been entirely stupid but well. he has his moments.

"do you even know what you're saying? you have to get it up for me to do that."

"well sure. but im reliable and trusrtworthy. and maybe it'll relax you a bit."

you think at that point you're definitely losing your shit but no. unfortunately your guy is dead serious. and you know, yuuji is an idiot but he's not enough of an idiot to not know it's unconventional - but in the moment, in the second he asks, his reasoning is for good. he gets a weird little feeling thinking about you losing it to someone you don't trust you know?

you obviously debate with him on this. you refute him, even - telling him that there's no way he thinks that's a good idea. and you go back and forth and you stop him at some point. to just be like

"do you even think you could kiss me?"

and yuuji just stands to his feet, leans over your desk, and kisses you.

and well. after that, it's kind of like you can't keep your hands off of each other.

it's clumsy your first time. you have no experience. but yuuji is your best friend, and he's himself - so he's patient and gentle and sooo very helpful. he teaches you to kiss and breathe through your nose and open your mouth and all sorts of other things. he's big so it's kind of hard to put it in but he takes is time. the sex feels really, really good and is intimate - almost naturally because that's your very best friend in the entire universe.

and so like. you guys have sex. you dont really plan it or anything but somehow when you get alone - it just gets so, so tense and neither of you can seem to cool down.

and how could you, you know? you've always wanted to fuck yuuji and maybe, seemingly, he wants it too. he gets so red when you bend down on your knees and try to blow him and it makes you so confident. you just... start fucking all the time. and you guys have been so close that no one cares if you two are alone together or not.

and so like. you begin this intensely sexual relationship and miraculously unchanged relationship. like you hang out as normal. and you fuck alot. and it's amibigous and vague.

you're kind of torn up about it, but yuuji is the kind of guy to not hook up with more than one person - so it's not hard to delude yourself into dating. he's already sweet and cuddly and thoughtful. and you know, you've always been so, so strict with yourself. you're really on top of your shit you know? so you reason with yourself, fine. ill just do this and see what happens. it's not like you.

(but it's hard to be strict with yourself when he makes you cum six times you know.)

so weirdly, in a weird way - you're kind of fine. you're a bit numb, a bit adjusted to it.

BUT YUUJI? OH YUUJI IS GOING THROUGH IT.

look. i mean what i said about yuuji being sincere and dense about this whole thing. he really does just want to help you and he doesn't think anything of it. sure sex is for someone you love, but yuuji does love you so it's fine to him.

the problem? the problem is you go from looking like a vague, amorphous and wonderful friend whose appearance he rarely thinks of (outside of beautiful, because of course you are - you're his best friend)

and instead become the most insanely fuckable person he has ever laid his eyes on and it is . ruining his life.

again. it's not as if yuuji ever thought you were unattractive. beauty is bigger than appearance to him, always has been - and you've always been the most beautiful girl in every room because you had a lovely character to you. he adores you. as a friend.

he never.... saw you in any other way. not even when other people kept assuming he did. you're a girl so he knew people would try to box you into that with him regardless but it was never like that. or at least, in his head it was never like that.

sure, whenever he dates someone - he is subconsciously compares them to you and sure, no matter what the person he has the most fun with is you but that's normal right? best friends is a big deal after all

you have sex for the first time and it's like. all of a sudden he's seeing all these aspects of you completely different. it's such a dramatic shift for him. like.

but it's not.... just your body really. of course not. he's not just lusting after ou but there's just something different about how you look in his eyes. something about how you readjust your sweater, how you wipe the corners of your mouth. something about the way you look at his place with shorts and a comfortable shirt just barely riding up your stomach and matching fuzzy socks (that are kinda matted from being worn)

all of this is just so, so fucking sexy now. he gets the weirdest fluttery feeling and just . can't help but be on you. you don't even know what you do to him either, and how could you? but god it destroys him. really ruins him to see you all doe eyed. know how you feel when you cling onto his biceps.

for the longest time - he can barely figure out whats doing it to him.

and then like. one day you're finished having sex and you're both so tired you fall asleep. and you're at his place - naked in his bed. he wakes up in the middle of the night. he moves the covers you know, to get up and get a towel - wipe you down.

and then you sort of hold onto him. still asleep. you let out a very soft whiny nooo, and he just. finds it so cute. so without thinking, he leans down and presses a kiss to your forehead and tells you to keep sleeping which you comply with bc ur not awake anyway.

and then when he sits up again he's like. oh. shit shit shit. shit.

that's when it hits him that he's in love with you which is. troubling to say the least. not only because he feels guilty for ruining your friendship but also because he knows himself well enough to know there's no way he could hold himself back.

but he thinks about and... does he have too? he knows it won't be right away but you do this with him too. so maybe, just maybe, there's a chance right?

for what its worth, i do think you two end up together with a minimal amount of angst. but the amount of heavy ass pining...the months it goes on of you two getting insanely, unbearably intimate and then not talking about it. and like. yuuji tests the waters with you. kisses you before he leaves, and does all sorts of stuff but you always go with it. you both cover it up but eventually it all spills and i think that's mostly cause yuuji is so open ......

anyways.... best friend yuuji.... he is on my mind....

[rosesradio]

have a valgrace smut drabble, for funsies 🤲💌

word count: 787

warnings: smut (obv), coming in pants—this one’s surprisingly fluffy compared to that last jercy one lmaoo

(for all intents & purposes these characters are aged up, college-aged seven quest etc)

———

As Jason cupped Leo’s face in his hands and kissed him, he took his time enjoying this moment alone.

Alone time was hard to come by on the ship, what with constant duties and monster attacks. Now, though, they had a lucky break—the ship was on autopilot north, the chores were done, and the other five were on deck in the case of a monster attack. So, Leo claimed he was getting a bath while Jason said he needed a nap before the pair practically ran to Jason’s room.

Now, Leo was in his lap, his kisses tasting like the strawberry ice cream he’d had after dinner. He felt so cozy and naturally fit against him, his gray sweatpants soft against Jason’s navy blue ones. Leo’s nimble fingers combed through Jason’s hair. Each short breath from Leo drove Jason to grip Leo’s hips more firmly, to touch him greedily.

He wasn’t used to having things. His time was never his own, always dedicated to the gods or the people under his praetorship. He’d never had a relationship before—Leo was his first everything. Jason knew, according to what they’d planned, they were going to take things to the next level.

Leo began to roll his hips down on Jason’s, the friction making Jason catch his breath.

“Aw, you like that?” Leo’s voice was light and teasing. Jason’s hands moved up to his waist, letting out a shaky breath at the curve of Leo’s arching back.

“Y-yeah,” Jason’s voice was small, much less dominating than he supposed he should have sounded. His cheeks flushed, and he nuzzled into the crook of Leo’s neck, pressing kisses to the skin there.

Leo didn���t seem to notice, or perhaps he didn’t mind. He might have even liked it, Jason observed, as Leo made more of an effort to push against Jason.

Jason felt a familiar coil begin in his stomach, the feeling overwhelming to say the least. He was a late bloomer in the most unnatural way; while he knew how sex worked, he’d never had the time or patience to learn how to find relief on his own. He took cold showers and practically prayed to the gods to make any of those feelings disappear. That is, until he’d gotten his memory wiped. After that—in the weeks after the initial flurry of don’t die don’t die don’t die, he’d found a bit of time to explore what he wanted. Once he did, it took him a while after that to rein it in.

In fact, Jason wasn’t sure if he’d quite mastered reining it in or not. With how good Leo was making him feel with this alone, he wasn’t sure how long he’d last. That idea was a little embarrassing, though his mind was too fogged to care.

“Leo,” Jason murmured, pushing up against Leo, breathing shakily against the crook of his neck. “L-Leo…”

Leo’s own breathy moans in his ear were making Jason’s head spin. He nipped Jason’s earlobe, his hands sliding up Jason’s shirt and grabbing at his chest. His fingers teased and pinched Jason’s nipples as he let out a low, pleasant hum. “Mm, yeah, muñeco?”

Jason wasn’t sure what that meant, though he knew that he was close. At this point, if he stopped, he would really hate himself at best—at worst he would have one of those delayed, half-assed orgasms.

He didn’t even think he could concentrate enough to warn Leo if he wanted to. Instead, the son of Jupiter gripped Leo’s hips, allowing the friction of Leo’s hard cock in his sweatpants to send him fully over the edge. He let out a sound that was just as much a moan as it was a whimper—if he could form a word, it would have been Leo’s name.

It took him about twenty seconds to reassess—about twelve for the orgasm to ride out, and eight for the realization to hit as he met Leo’s wide eyes.

“Did,” Leo started incredulously. “Did you just…?”

“No,” Jason shook his head quickly. “I mean, yes. I mean…sorry…?”

Leo’s incredulous look turned to a slight smile, and soon enough, he was laughing into his hand.

Jason buried his face into his hands, though before he could apologize again, Leo spoke up:

“Dude, don’t be embarrassed, that’s awesome!” He held up a hand for a high five. “I can’t believe that was all me—I mean, that’s absolutely legendary, the powers I possess—“

Jason let out an incredulous laugh of his own, though he gave his boyfriend a high five. He then intwined their fingers together, pressing his lips to his and pushing him against the bed. Although Jason was done, he wouldn’t be fully satisfied until Leo was as well.

[forgetriestowrite]

hi was scrolling through tumblr and was suddenly reminded of how brutal cotg was for me to read because I started reading these books literally a decade ago and like there I was, 19-year-old me, sitting in my college dorm room, reading this after-all-the-bullshit-there's-more-bullshit book and it was wonderful and amazing but then

they are the same age I was a year ago in that book. They have saved the world twice. Percy's mom is pregnant with his baby sister because she got a good relationship for once and she's writing a novel. Annabeth is learning how to bake. She has scars from holding up the sky and then crawling through Rome on a broken leg and then crawling through Tartarus immediately after that. Grover is being the awkward boyfriend we all know he is. He is one of the most important people in the natural world. Percy is trying to get into college so he can have a future. He has a panic attack at the bottom of a river and the only coherent thing he thinks during the whole thing is "wow this reminds me of being a kid", which is so fucking sad. And at the end, he fights literal old age and defeats it by accepting this geriatric, angry god, by saying he wants that, and that just hit me in the face with a ton of bricks because I really, actually thought for the first time, what if they get to grow up?

Like yeah, I've thought about it, in the like "wouldn't it be great" kind of detached thing you get when you're actively watching a story unfold. Like, yes, there's an ending to this story. It's vague and I'm not thinking about it because of the action that's happening right now, but there's definitely An Ending.

But reading cotg, specifically those last few chapters, cemented that ending for me, and made me realize how rewarding it would be to have it. These characters have been fighting on the edge of a sword for their entire teenage lives. They were dragged back in for this trilogy, and they're older, and what if they get to move on? Grover can continue his work without having to worry about side quests. Percy and Annabeth really can get old on a porch. They can have kids. For the first time they're thinking of the future---and not like next birthdays or "if we survive then we'll..." They're actually considering long-term. Thinking of the next thirty years.

I love this trio. They're my childhood. I grew up with them. I love reading their story. But gods, I hope that someday soon they can sit down and never have to get up and fight again.

[spgothkidsheadcanons]

More Facts About the Goths!

Henrietta:

- Her favorite season is actually Spring!

- She’s in tune with nature, and seeing all the leaves on the trees grow back and the animals that become more plentiful just makes her so incredibly happy

- She doesn’t like animals of her own, but if her S/O says something about wanting a pet, she’s got a bad habit of giving in and getting a pet to make S/O happy

- Speaking of her S/O, Henrietta is a very devoted and loyal person

- When she loves, she loves hard, and she hates to be taken advantage of or have her heart broken

- When she’s sketching up designs for clothes and gets bored, she begs her S/O to let her draw on them

- It’s soothing to Henri and opens up bonding time with her lover

- She hates to be called anything other than Henrietta, but her S/O has all permission to call her Henri, Etta, Baby Girl, Darling

- She’s a big fan of her S/O

- Probably that girlfriend who gets a t-shirt with S/O’s face in it

- And gets S/O one with her face on it

- She enjoys walks. Down the road, up and down the beach (only at night), hell, even the walk to her car

- Owns a 2 bedroom apartment

- Drives a purple Lexus 450h she named Bettie

- Likes to write and will spend all day writing in her journal, writing in a notepad, on sticky notes

- Her penmanship is very beautiful. Small, cursive letters that lean a little to the right

- Her birthday is November 13th, and she’s a Scorpio

- She’s 5’5, and 5’10 when she’s wearing her signature heels

- Henrietta is very in tune with her S/O, she’d bend herself over backwards to please them

- Cuddly

- So fucking cuddly

- She’ll share a bottle of wine with her S/O and then tuck herself right into their side

- Has to be touching S/O every chance that she has

- Has days where she goes silent, but she always bounces back

- Is in college for fashion design, models as a side gig to help pay through college

- Very good girl and I love her so much I would fight the sun to make her happy

- (26)

Pete:

- Pete had heterochromia, but it’s just a patch of green on one of his brown irises

- He had braces late in highschool, and now just has the permanent retainer on the backside of his teeth

- He’s more often than not hunched over, but he just doesn’t realize it, so he has a few back problems

- Likes to lay on the floor in his room because it helps with his back pain but also because he just wants to

- Stargazes almost every night

- Is really into space, reads facts about space, horror stories about astronauts hearing knocking on the rocket’s exterior, knows every single constellation and planet and their moons

- Incredibly smart, made all 100’s in school and almost got a perfect SAT score (1560 out of 1600)

- Pete has ADHD, and he can barely keep still if he’s just hanging around and not doing anything

- His birthday is 4/20 (HAPPY BIRTHDAY PETE BABY ILYSM) and he’s a Taurus

- He’s 5’10, and kind of self concious he didn’t hit at least 6’

- He lives with his uncle, but his uncle is almost always gone on business trips

- His uncle is his best friend, they do almost everything together when Unc’s in town

- He likes to cook and bake, and he’s always whipping something up in the kitchen for his S/O

- Always painting, anything and everything he can think of

- Prefers to paint his S/O, he’s obsessed with them and wants to memorize every dimple, freckle and curve of their form

- Likes when his S/O does his hair, does his skin care, or when his S/O just does anything with him

- He’s not the type to be all up in his S/O’s business, but he does like hearing from them once a day at least

- Owns a PT Cruiser he’s had since we was in highschool

- He calls it “Miranda”, after a long inside joke from when all the goths hung out together

- Likes decorating with stickers, and you can normallly find stickers on his car, on his laptop, one his phone and on his Emotional Support Water Bottle ™️

- Likes to cook and help run the food shelter

- BLEEDING HEART. EMOTIONAL BABY BOY. IF S/O CRIES, HE CRIES, IF S/O MAD, HE MAD

- In tune with his emotions, and believes it’s very healthy to share how you’re feeling

- Unironically listens to 2000’s club music. His favorite is Wobble by V.I.C

- Writes poetry, and does so extremely beautifully

- He’s a nerd I love him so much he’s my little baby doll

Michael:

- Kind of an asshole, but more in the endearing way and not in the jerk way

- Michael has moments where he forgets what he’s doing and he ends up just sitting down and not doing the original task

- Has definitely ruined dinner quite a few times because of his forgetfulness

- He likes knitting, something that he picked up in highschool and perfected a few years later

- He’s always singing, making a beat, or writing down things he thinks would be good lyrics

- When he’s busy with a recording session, he will stay at the studio for hours on end until everything he and his bandmates do is just right

- Back to being an endearing jerk, his S/O is always bullied by him just so Michael can make them feel better by kissing them and giving them everything they want tenfold

- Sends flowers to his S/O’s job, or really, wherever S/O is

- Kind of possessive, not in the “Oh no” way, but in the “Okay, that’s hot” way

- He’s 6’7, and loves leaning on his S/O because he’s a shithead who thinks it’s funny to just prop up on people shorter than him

- His birthday is April 21st, which he is so excited about because that’s Robert Smith’s birthday, and that makes him a Taurus

- Speaking of, he really is as stubborn as a damn bull sometimes

- If S/O wants to do something, they have to practically beg on their knees for Michael to go and do that thing with them

- Sometimes, S/O debates whether Michael really is stubborn or he just takes pleasure in seeing them beg

- DATE NIGHTS DATE NIGHTS DATE NIGHTS DATE NIGHTS Michael’s guilty pleasure is spoiling his S/O and he never takes no for an answer when he asks if you’d like to go out with him

- Owns a black 1990 Cadillac Brougham

- He’s a really big fan of vintage cars, he just thinks they’re so unique and they looked better before the 2000’s

- Big sweet tooth, and is constantly eating something sweet

- Owns a hairless cat named Boo that he likes to dress up

- Has a secret want to own all kinds of hairless mammals, he just thinks they’re so cute

- Has scary dog vibes, but he’s honestly more like an edgy golden retriever

- Likes to pick on his S/O, just so he has an excuse to hold them in his arms and smother them with love and affection

- He’s never actually mean to his lover, but if he’s mad, he does prefer to stay away from them until he calms down

- Michael’s got some issues he needs to work on, but all he needs is a healthy support system and he’ll be good

- Would never forgive himself if he did something that actually upset you

- He’s a butthead but a sweet butthead and he deserves everything in the world I love this man

[witchcraftandburialdirt]

Tell us a little about Haru!

ANON ASK

So ya'll noticed that, ahah! Well, he is a long time original character of mine! I'm glad you guys are interested in him, I have actually been thinking about implementing him onto the blog--although he is VERY different from Robin! More below!

Where to begin... Haruko Nakasone is the eldest son of a Japanese man who immigrated to the US and New Orleans woman, Ren Nakasone and Yvonne Rillieux. He has a sister who is 3 years his junior, Hina--and grew up in a small port town outside of the city. His family dynamic was very close and nuclear, although his father would often travel for business, Yvonne's parents were over foten to help with the house, and Haru took up cooking at a semi-young age. He had a fairly standard childhood, playing with local children and attending school, as well as learning to hunt with his grandfather at the age of 10. He received a German Shepherd puppy at the age of 12 after begging his mother like a complete brat, he named her Bonnie.

However when he entered middleschool his town was flipped onto its head as a string of murders began to rip suburbia apart, the victims ranging from adults to children. A strict curfew was placed over time and naturally, being a teenager, Haru decided one day to ignore this. He met a few friends at the football fields of his school to try alcohol for the first time, and subsequently knocked out under the bleachers after taking too many shots of fireball. He woke up to everyone having left, and himself alone while the sunset lower in the sky. Haru was quick to grab his stuff and book it home, but he was met with a very standard looking man, who Haru recognized as one of the workers from the local grocery store, and he greeted him, hoping to get a ride back home, only to realize that was not going to happen.

Haru doesn't really remember what happened in the following moments but his consciousness returned to him he was sitting over the man with his own hands bloody, realizing he was bleeding from his stomach. He called 911 and was transported to the hospital, and while they stablized him, he saw the body put into the bag and zipped up for good. Haru struggled with the repercussions of his actions and slowly became more and more of a loner after rumors spread around his school which eventually fell off once he entered highschool. Although as the rumors fell away he couldn't push away the trauma of what happened and grappled with himself to try and figure out what happened and why he felt so elated after. The answer was he was scared and acted out of defense and that's literally it but he's too wrapped up in "I wasn't scared" to accept it. He chased that high and ended up dabbling in illicit affairs as well as joining a shitty fight club that he could physically remove his stress when the memory relapsed. He took up hunting more and more as well.

Repression doesn't help anything though and when he was finally in college in the city, for a biology degree he did not want, Haru ended up failing most of his classes and used his tuition money for more illicit affairs--and dropped out. After nearly crashing his car, he finally began to sober up and put those things behind him, but the spark from his youth still called out, and eventually he used his shooting lessons for something more lucrative. In order to pay his parents back, since he made his mother cry and can't forgive himself for it, he began to take hit jobs around the city for the every day man instead of the mob--he refuses to get involved in that nonsense. Eventually he gained enough money to pay his mother back and open a tattoo shop on main street, finally falling into a semblance of happiness.

He is currently 25 years of age, 178cm, and lives alone with his dog, Bonnie--who is now 13 years old and somewhat struggling with the stairs of his apartment building. Haru picks her up and carries her up and down 5 flights of stairs so she can go on her old lady walks and go potty, and generally spoils her. His days consist of tattoo appointments with Bonnie in the shop, lounging on her doggy bed, before it closes at 6pm. Most days he goes back home and cooks dinner with a standard documentary on, he still drinks daily and he also smokes cannabis--but has a tight control on what he actually needs to take. However on hit days, he takes Bonnie home before changing into tactical gear so he can snipe his target without worry. He has burned his fingerprints just in case, and takes all types of jobs--sometimes even doing them for free if he thinks the hit deserves it.

He works out with weights a few times per week, takes self defense classes, and jogs daily; keeping strong not only for his work/Bonnie, but because he secretly is still horrified of the past sneaking up on him despite it being 6 feet under ground. He has a motorcycle that he maintains himself with lessons he learned from his grandfather, and owns two Berettas along with his (usually disassembled) CheyTac M200. He can probably beat most people up, although he doesn't really engage in random acts of violence anymore and prefers to just have his simple little life with his dog. He's panromantic/pansexual and is surprisingly friendly despite his resting bitchface and semi-rude behavior. Haru also has a sleeve (the design of which I won't post here because this is already very long) as well as a tatto on his left hand--he is ambidextrous and very flexible. He has 3 stab scars on his stomach and side from the attack, and views them as a badge of honor. 

As for implementing him into the blog--it HAS been a thought I've been wiggling around in my brain. I could see him integrating into Zaun pretty easily, and in DBD--definitely a survivor because he just SCREAMS Final-Girl-Energy (and because I need him to kick Frank or Danny or BOTH in the dick). Either way, if you DO want to ask him questions or send prompts, that's all well, it'll help me gage if people would want to interact with him, since, as I said, he's very different from Robin.

[seaweedbraens]

This is in part a response to the 3/10 reviewer.

Adaptations obviously cannot have every single thing perfect to the book, just time wise it's impossible. But I think this series was made with a lot of love by everyone involved and it shows. Every interview I've seen and the show itself make it clear it's also important to them, and they want to make a good version.

A lot of issues that I read I think can be solved with having more of the story. Like, his mom has given him blue candy, explanation might come later, like in the talks the trio has during the quest. Or the council of the cloven elders doesn't even appear in the books until the Battle of the Labryinth. We don't need an explanation yet. Without knowledge of the books I would assume oh the visually important nature ppl are the ppl in charge of the satyrs. Which like.. yeah good enough for now. And it gives Grover more depth from the start. And there are hints of Luke's bitterness, such as "They like the smell of begging" when they go for offerings. We also haven't even left camp yet, there's time to develop that.

Luke's emphasis on glory was more about from other campers, I took it as a hint of Luke's desire to feel powerful. Luke also clearly values glory in the books as well - he failed to attain glory by completing his quest and it eats at him. Two, the addition makes sense if you're familiar with the Iliad, glory is heavily emphasized and a complex theme throughout, but I will not be digging out any college essays lol. I think it's definitely something that is going to be developed as a theme throughout.

Luke is a supportive counselor in the book. He's literally the head counselor in charge of shepherding the kids once they get there and likely spend their first night in the Hermes cabin. Plus in Ch. 7, he talks to Percy about being new and warns Percy not to take the offerings lightly, in Ch. 8 trains him on the sword, saying "No laughing at Percy" during the demo, and is thrilled when Percy disarms him.

A word about Gabe, we see Gabe for 9 pages in the beginning of the book. He harasses Percy, demands food from Sally, and is grumpy about them using the car. I was at first bothered by Gabe looking just kinda like a couch potato, but it was pointed out to me that abusers don't just all wear wife beaters and are streaked with grime. In the show he answers, Sally's phone, a controlling behavior. He harasses Percy when he gets in the door, and is almost pleased that Percy got kicked out for assault, a violent behavior. I'm still interested with how they are going to bring in the "Smelly Gabe" covering Percy's scent (which I always was a bit confused how that worked really well if Percy was at boarding school 90% of the time.) And I'm wondering how they are going to make him be deemed worthy of being murdered with Medusa's head by the audience. He appears on the news telling lies about Percy throughout the book and Percy doesn't realize that Sally has been hit before by Gabe until the end of the book. So, those are more ways to bring that in.

While I watched it, it didn't feel very rushed, but that might be because I had context from the books. Looking back it's a fast, but I'd rather have a longer time questing, and that's a trade-off. It's just unfortunate that even an established property can't get a longer run time.

One of my biggest worries was that the fighting would be cringe but I think they pulled it off Really well. It's visually great, and while I have my personal vision of CHB that didn't stop me from loving the show's version. It's also funny! I laughed out loud multiple times. There's tons of little details you get to hunt for from the book. The actors make you believe they are the characters. I've been living with versions in my head for over 15 years and I fully accept these guys as the trio. An open mind and ability to allow multiple versions to live in your head are definitely key to enjoying it as a long time fan.

I'm doing my best to avoid ppls garbage opinions, especially people new to the fandom, but I've seen enough lousy opinions from people who have been in the fandom forever to think it's a problem only in new ppl. Twitter has just been a lot of great edits and memes which is super fun.

Sorry for the length, that I got the book out, and that this was way too in depth for what you originally asked.

sorry for getting to this a little late! personally, i feel like i can't comment on the show yet, since i haven't watched it, but everyone's entitled to their own opinion as long as we're all being respectful here, as you're being. i hope 3/10 anon sees your version of things, and i'm glad you enjoyed the show!

[ilikelookingatthings]

Sora & Haena

So I kind of really enjoy this Webcomic. Its pretty refreshing and I really enjoy how naturally the smart not that social girl Sora and the more Social but not the type to study Haena get along and slowly come together. There was that kiss in the begining bt they didn’t have feelings for each other yet and it wasn’t the linchpin for them realizing their feelings.

I also like how one of the reasons Sora starts to fall for Haena is her personality and how they get along but also how due to Haena’’s influence Sora starts getting more people in her life...but its also not suck a over whelming number or just because of Haena(which could be dangerous if they had a falling out).

Its also really interesting to see the other characters and friends...I’m not gonna lie i wish we saw Sora and the one guy friend hang out more. I definitely pitied him for falling for our main girl who already had someone else she was going to end up with...but i feel like they could have shown that friendship get a bit stronger...especially since there was some odd tension when it came to how he just wanted connect with someone who didn’t seem to care about his handsome face and his sister was the one reading into Sora negatively all on her own.

Plus it could have been interesting to see him and Haena interact more. but I’m glad when he did get shot down Sora was kind about it and it was about her liking someone else.

Sora’s education score rival definitly gave sus vibes for a while with an odd possesivness and her kindof wishing Sora was more isolated again so her Rival would try her best when it came to scores again. I definitly got a ‘she has a sort of crush on Sora but its manifesting in a weird way where if something goes wrong she could go down a dark path’ vibes....but luckly she does get better and she actually starts to help Sora make up with her friends and other aspects...and she didn’t fall into the ‘i’m aware of my crush now so now you have to be with me vibes’ once she saw Sora and Haena kiss whih is refreshing.

She is definitely mean but it was fun to see her learn her lesson she isn’t owed anything about Sora and helped Sora’s best friend with that lesson.

Not gonna lie i thought maybethe besty also had a crush on Sora...but it seems it was understandably friend jealousy and wanting to be special to someone.

maybe the mean girl and the besty will hit it off.

I feel a bit mixed about their fun floaty teacher....I THINK she is a couple with her friend(I don’t know for sure since she is likable and being worried about her well being is something a friend would do to)...but there seems to be a vibe between the teacher and a graduated student of hers...which on one hand is cute and since she no longer is her student its fair game technically(i’m not gonna lie whether i ship it can depend on a case by case basis in fiction...its more of a hard no in reality for me..but in fiction its cute to see someone win over someone they like after that long). but I do wonder if the age gap could be an issue...and technically the teacher did what any good teacher would do.

depending on how the side stories handle it could ship it..but it could be interesting to see her fall for someone else.

The only thing I don’t exactly like is how it handled the dynamic between Haena and her mom. Like they set up that Haena’s mom is often gone for long periods of time due to work so Haena is often alone which helps explan why Haena tried to be out and socializing often. Haena being very understanding that her mom works hard and that the mom was out doing stuff she couldnt when the mom was married to Haena’s dad...but we end up finding out that the mom doesn’t even call or text Haena often and that Haena literally doesn’t see her and the mom hadn’t even mentioned the mom would be on t.v. to her. and WE know how bad Haena’s grades were before Sora started helpingto inspire her to be able to graduate and go to college.

I like how Haena would often be just so happy to see her mom that she wouldn’t approach the mom abot why she doesn’t show up as often..probably fearing rejection or if it would make the mom leave faster.

She ONLY adressed the situation with her mom this time because she was sick and she was stunned that the mom wants to downsize the apartment with no warning and brought up Haena living alone...as Haena’s ONLY comfort had been the fact this house was THEIRS.

I actually do like how the mom was alarmed at her asking if she would abandon her and all this stuff like how th emom must feel ashamed to have her as her daughter and all that and so actually did try to adress why she acts the way she did...which was that after the divorce she paniced knwoing how much influence she had over her daughter...so she thought maybe if she left her to her own devices then the mom won’t be able to fuck her up(luckily Haena did call her out that theh mom was making excuses and taht all she wants was some actuall attention from the mom). not gonna lie if felt like neglect..and it was interesting to see that the mom wasn’t a complete horrible person..she seemed normal and she seemed to love her daughter genuinely...but that even normal people could end up being a bad or neglectful parent. I LIKE that aspect...it felt kind of fast..but I’m not entirely opposed to seeing the mom and daughter try to reconnect....

but what I DON”T understand is the mom just strait up takes her daughter with her abrode..which makes some sense...she was already going to have to travel so couldn’t just cancel it and leaving her daughter after that heartfelt conversation wouldn’t have been a good move. I don;t understand why she didn’t inform the school properly...or give Haena time to say goodbye to her friends.

I don’t understand why Haena didn’t give her friends a heads up or even just a text informing them about her reconnecting with her mom and the abrupt move. it took way too long for Sora to head over to her house just to find another family living there...and Sora LITERALLY confessed the same day Haena got her cold and the mom appeared.

I understand being kind of overwhelmed by all the changes and not contacting immediately...but not telling anyone?

There was a literally point about how Haena knows how it feels lonely to not be contacted and left on read...yet apparently other had tried to contact her but she never contacted them back?

Now I don’t hate the idea in theory...but we only had ONE chapter to address Haena fucking up this badly. but worse is what happeed with her mom over that period of time abroad? did Haena and the mom fix their relationship? we know the mom did tsill have to work late at times...but did Haena have a good time? We know Sora’s words had encourages Haena to try not to be spooked by change...but considering most of this manga has been about Haena trying to prep for teh college tests...it felt odd Haena didn’t bring that up to her mom(though bright side is Haena knows her being smart or dumb isn’t gonna change how teh mom feels about her as the mom does care but is bad at showing it.

It just felt odd it didn’t occur to Haena how hurt she’d make everyone feel esepcially Sora by disappearing like that? did she not fel the erge to tell anyone or bounce her thoughts about her mom? and more did the mom notice how Haena was feelings?

At the very least maybe Haena actually relating to the mom more because now she understands how time can get lost and why the mom might have not contacted her despite caring for her could happen now that Haena did the same thing.

[dearjoridial]

Hello, I have been struggling with life. I’m mostly starting this blog for myself… just to type out my feelings and work through them. But to whoever may be reading this: you are more than welcome to stay. If you relate, I’m sure we can get through this life together. I’m not the greatest writer, but I want to help someone, whether it’s just me or not. 🩵 Here we go!

I will start with my story~ (sorry for how long it is lol)

I am a dancer. I’ve always loved dancing! I have great parents who put me into many sports to try as a kid… dance was my favorite. Started at the age of five and by nine years old, I had decided that’s what I wanted to do forever. (Well actually I wanted to be an ice-cream truck driver or an actress, but I didn’t start acting classes until later and I’m now lactose intolerant hehe). I also had the unique experience of growing up in a Polynesian family that did Polynesian dance shows too. I will admit that I preferred other dance style over that, but I still enjoyed it. I live my best little life- having fun, dancing, and being homeschooled I felt quite good. I was a bit of a perfectionist even at such a young age, but I like to think I handled myself well and was still very kind to everyone. (Even if they made me anxious by not sticking to the plan I had made in my head). Being considered smart at a young age in the dance world also meant that they trained you to be a teacher starting as young as possible. (Why is this?) At the time I remember liking it a lot! I became sort of a teacher’s aid by the time I was ten or eleven, because I was very good at picking up choreography and helping others with it. (Also dancing backwards…I am dyslexic!)

Around age twelve my family picked up and moved to Hawai’i, for my dad’s job. Of course I was really sad to leave my friends, (let’s be real: dance friends are the BEST friends) but Hawai’i was probably one of the best times of my life! Naturally the first thing I did was look for a new dance studio, and I found one that I loved so much! Fortunately, they were so good that they were able to spot all of the flaws in my previous dance training… unfortunately it was a lot. I had hit a growth spurt (the first and only) and found out my knee was completely twisted, and my legs, ankles, feet, and back were completely messed up. Needless to say, I spent the next five years of my life truly growing as a dancer at this new studio. I learned how to dance properly and how to help myself (and others) avoid those same problems in the future. Then I flew!! I danced not only at that studio but also had opportunities in L.A. , Disney (which quickly became my dream), competitions, conventions, and other little projects around the island. I started dabbling in theatre (and LOVED it). I worked through the exciting and anxious times of going to a real school for the first time (College, got an associates degree under my belt). I also started my first job at that studio as a dance teacher, and worked with their jazz company! I am very thankful for my time in Hawai’i and all of my directors, teachers, and friends who pushed me during that time. Once again, I was sad to move away from what I felt was a perfect life, but I left with hopes to use my new found knowledge in performing arts to tackle the East Coast.

I will admit, post-Hawai’i wasn’t so exciting at first. Of course the first thing I did was look for a new studio, but being eighteen now, I realized I now had to look for “adult dance classes”… and in my area, there were none. I wasn’t too fond of the idea of going to a studio just to immediately be a teacher, so I ended up getting two ‘normal’ jobs. I absolutely hated it. I started going to New York a bunch of times to audition for Disney, and I never got past the first round even once. I was very discouraged by that, and felt exhausted because the two jobs I worked were very draining. I believe this is when my mental health dropped. (I knew I had anxiety issues, and I also believe I have some form of depression). After two or three years of this, I finally found an audition for a local theatre company! I got in, and started feeling better having something other than work to look forward to. Little did I know, the theatre scene was VERY well connected, and the very next year I was asked to be in another show. (That doesn’t happen very often, and I was SO honored). At this point I was feeling pretty content, and was about to go back to dance studio hunting… until I saw auditions for my favorite show! Unfortunately, it was 2020… so I auditioned and was very excited to get in, and then the world shut down and it was postponed. I will admit Covid wasn’t necessarily a bad time for me. I quit my job (which needed to happen long before that), lost all of my stress weight that that job had given me, and slowly got myself back into shape. (Via kpop dances hehe). The very next year life started to look up for me. I decided to go back to school to get certified as a Massage Therapist, and even though my show was still postponed, that same company decided to put together a little ‘COVID-friendly’ production. I got to participate, and even though that year had its stresses with covid and school, it ended up being nice. Thanks to this show I got really close to the choreographer and was invited to be in her dance company as well! The next year rolls around and everything starts feeling better; the show ended up happening, and it was the most beautiful experience! I found myself networking even more and landing myself a job as a choreographer, as well as getting myself a vocal coach. I’m beginning to have so much fun with theater, however my body is slowly feeling pained because most theater’s flooring isn’t actually great for dancing. But I keep pushing on! The summer of 2023 happens… so much happened that I am going to probably write separately about it. But long story short, my physical health completely spirals, and I have multiple theatre/dance experiences that (although were fun,) ended up having a rather negative impact on me. So much so that I still feel the need to write them out (which I will). Of course, I’m trying to shake it off and keep moving as life does, but I need a moment to breathe… and frankly, life is about to be so much different I fear.

With all this said, I like to believe I am doing okay. I always have, and continue to, try and find the positives in life, but I truly have felt unwell this past year and I’m struggling to get a hold of my life and my feelings. I’m feeling less and less like myself though. Unfortunately I’m at a point where I can’t afford to see doctors yet and sadly my health has become such a problem that I can barely focus on dancing. It’s frustrating to find out that the injuries you have are going to be practically permanent and affect you in SO many ways for the rest of your life. That’s why I’d like to write here… I’m sure I will get through it, but life is really knocking me down right now and maybe I can find people who understand. (Or at least humor me, while I get through this hehe). I feel incredibly old this year… the pain of this past year was overwhelming. There’s nothing sadder than realizing that you may have to let go of doing what you love the most. I know I’ll get through it though…I just need time. So here we are.

Thanks for reading. I wish you all the best,

Love, Mer 💜

[maya-in-japan]

June 17-Arashiyama Bamboo Forest

We went to the Arashiyama Bamboo Forest today. When we arrived there, I didn’t expect it to be so crowded but it is a big tourist area so I wasn’t surprised after I remembered that. Visiting the love shrine was fun; I didn’t wish for anything personally, but I did pray for my friends’ love lives though. I thought the overall forest was really beautiful and I wish that I walked through it more, but I might use my last day to go back and look through it more. For lunch, I went to the tofu place that Leina showed me. The food was really good, I got a lot for a cheap price. There was only one part of the meal that I didn’t like, which was this grey piece of tofu which had a bland, earthy taste to it. I tried it with wasabi to see if that would be any better but it wasn’t 😭. After eating at Sapo Tofu Ine, I got sakura ice cream, which had a surprisingly cinnamon-like spice to it. I expected it to be more sweet than have a sort-of spice to it. The monkey park was also really fun; I hated the small hike it took to get there though. I think I was tired out from all the hikes that we did previously, I didn’t want to climb any more hills😭. Once we got to the top it reminded me of Mt. Takao where you could see a bunch of landmarks. I enjoyed looking at the monkeys and trying to see which landmarks I could spot from the guide at the top. On the way back down, I played on a see-saw for the first time! It was creaking the whole time though, probably because it was a bit old. It was probably a bit funny for other people to see college students playing on a see-saw 😂. After I got to the bottom of the mountain, I went rowing with Sumi at the river we passed by before we separated for lunch. It was difficult to say the least. I’ve been kayaking before but never rowing. When we first started, we didn’t really move anywhere. After we finally started moving, we hit the shore not too long after and a passerby had to help get the boat back out into the water. Besides the troubles we had, rowing was nice and I would do it again now that I have a bit of experience! After our rowing experience, Sumi and I got honeycomb ice cream. I tried eating the honeycomb but soon realized that was a mistake since I didn’t like the waxy texture. It was a good day overall; my favorite part was the rowing experience I had!

     I think that the history of Arashiyama is really interesting; it was originally a farming area but turned into a scenic forest later on. Arashiyama was able to come from humble beginnings and eventually became the extremely popular tourist spot that it is today. I think that it’s cool that Arashiyama is designated as a protection and scenic forest. I’m interested in how Japan went from overutilizing the natural resources that it had to being able to replenish and maintain the resources that they used over time. I enjoy learning more about environmentalism, so it’s amazing to me that Japan was able to have such as great turnaround in how the land was utilized and treated. The first article made me curious to read more about other areas similar to Arashiyama and Japan’s views on environmentalism.

     I also enjoyed how the other two articles we read gave more insight into the Tale of Genji. It was cool to see one of the actual sites where the novel takes place. Reading more excerpts of the novel and being able to read about some of the real-life inspirations and locations from the novel inspire to try to read the novel in its entirety. I know that it’s a long novel but reading more about it makes me want to attempt reading the whole thing.

[lizascribes]

In The Land Down Under

In the wee late night of early September (2022), me and Mossy joined this group of Khmer hikers aboard a plane to Kathmandu, Nepal. The ride was smooth, but the bus ride we hopped onto afterwards bound for Pokhara, was not. We were there to scale and descend a mountain they called "Poon Hill" over the span of 4 days. It's marvelous that despite being 3210 metres high up, the Nepalese people did not consider this a mountain, given the bigger giants they've got: the Annapurna, a side of Everest, etc.

This trip deserves a separate post to fully convey the details, vibes, and effervescence because a lot happened in less than a fortnight.

Butt I'm rambling, this post is not really about Nepal. It is about where I am now.

On that flight to Kathmandu, I stared at the vastness of leg space I had from being seated next to the emergency exit door, and wondered about life up to that point in time. The newness of moving out of my family's home at the start of the year and living independently had faded, and fire had stopped engulfing me whole.

I was lost, dealing with identity issues, and couldn't seem to finish any projects that I had started. I felt like a fluke of an artist and it was hard to walk out of the door and onto the streets somedays.

Hurling through the sky at 900km/h, it hit me that if I've left once, I could leave again! Why not! I'm an Australian citizen even though I'd never lived there, and my old art teacher once said that Melbourne is a lot like San Francisco in its vibe and character. Fuck it, after the trip I quickly applied for Environmental Science at RMIT. (I was reading so many non-fiction nature books in 2022 so I felt that I might as well pursued a degree in it, or something... honestly, it was just a convenient excuse hehe.)

Now we're in 2023!

We moved to Melbourne in mid-Febuary and now it's the end of May. It's been a long 3 months. I hardly remember life before moving here.

2 months into the course, I realized that I don't want to have anything to do with data-analysis in my future, so bye-bye Environmental Science and bye-bye RMIT. Life is oddly extra refreshing as a two-time college dropout.

So I've now got a part-time job at an organics market stall where I manage the checkout counter and talk to people about how they cook their favourite veggies. Many people are happy to talk about their tried and trusted recipes and I'm always happy to listen. (There was a man who bought 2kg of cayenne chilli to make his award-winning sauce...)

I've also just been exploring every little interest and hobby that I get a whiff of. So far I've been rowing, doing aerial yoga, and pilates. I also met some of my closest friends here at a free embroidery class hosted by a grad student at RMIT (thank you Aaron Billings!).

I've gotten furniture for my apartment and got a little home studio set up for music-making. Oh and there's a pole-dancing class I'm trying out later this evening. Life is really chill right now :)

My mother and my sister are the most worried for where my life will head, they want me to get a grip on things, finish a bachelor's degree and come home to help out the family business. But honestly, I'd rather take a cool barista course and keep travelling around on my own path. I can't promise anything of the future or how I would want to live then, so why even worry?

In conclusion, I would totally recommend Melbourne as the place to be for people who have unlimited interests in the things around them, because I've found that there are just so many things to do in this city. I don't think I would be here forever, but it's got good soil for me for at least a couple more years :)

[not-alien-girl-v]

Maybe something with fratboy!kyle and being his gf? Maybe they’re at the party and she says something like “wanna leave early?” And he doesn’t die?? Have a good day!

Frat Boy Kyle

Warning: Swearing, drinking, blood, like reader gets hit in the face by Kyle but it's an accident so tw for whatever that is

Note: You guys get me. May every single person who requests a non-Tate fic receive a passionate kiss from me. I notice that I switch the POV of fics I write often ex. the one I wrote before this was 3rd person, but this one is 2nd person. If that bothers anyone lmk and I'll commit to something.

The air was hot, and so were you. Summer in New Orleans never really knows to cool off once the sun sets, like Mother Nature forgot to inform the sun that her work was over for the day. Kyle had driven you both to this party, and you had no intention of driving back, hence the homemade margarita in your hand.

The party was roughly 3 blocks away from Kyle's frat, where you intended to spend the night after this, and in the worst case scenario - being that Kyle gets drunk off his ass - you could just walk home with him and get his car in the morning. You were close friends with the party host's girlfriend, and it was her drunken idea to make margaritas, you didn't just help yourself to their kitchen supplies.

It was almost strange, almost, how many people you knew, how many friends you had, all due to Kyle. You hated getting cheesy, and you'd never admit this to him, but sometimes it felt like your life really started the moment he asked you to go out with him 2 years ago. It was the beginning of his freshman year of college, while you were a senior in high school and you both found yourselves at a party just like this one, on a night just like this, when he saw you from across the room.

You don't know if you had something in your teeth or he was just so captivated by your beauty, but once he set his eyes on you that once, he never seemed to let you out of his sight.

It was easy being with him, truly, it was. He was a smooth talker at first, but you soon came to realize he was also sensitive, caring, goofy, sweet, all things that aided you in falling in love with him. It wasn't all that hard.

You took 3 long gulps of your drink, because if you kept spacing out and getting sentimental you might start crying and that's the last thing you wanted to do. You were just so happy to be with him, despite him having wandered off about an hour or so ago. With that, you got up, and decided to go find him.

Wiping your sweaty palms on the cloth of your dress, you scanned the room for that familiar head of messy blond hair, but not seeing it. You checked the living room, the back patio, the front patio, even did a brief survey of the top floor but ultimately did not see him. Suddenly, you bumped into one of the guys from Kyle's frat. He kind of gave you the creeps but you really wanted to find your man so you asked him, "hey Archie, have you seen Kyle?"

"Have you checked the kitchen?" He spit with a gruff. You just nodded and walked in that direction when you swore you heard him mumble something along the lines of 'stupid bitch' under his breath but decided to ignore it.

You weaved in and between crowds of people to reach the kitchen, where the dense population dispersed into a few individuals hanging out by the sink, some on the counter, some on the floor, and, most importantly, Kyle, digging through the fridge. You smiled warmly and made your way towards him.

You were inches away from him when he hollered something to someone else, "Jake is this the one you wa-" he spun around, a bottle held up in the air and promptly wacked you in the face with it, causing you to take a few shocked steps back, bumping into the kitchen island behind you and a few drops of blood spilling from your nose.

"Oh my God! I'm so sorry babe!" He placed his hands gently atop your shoulders and bent down to get eye to eye with your hunched over frame. "Let me see, move your hands," he gathered both your hands into one of his and used his other to carefully inspect the damage he'd done and he took a sharp inhale through his teeth.

You hadn't noticed how everyone else had left the kitchen until he placed a hand on the small of your back and led you over to the sink where others had previously been standing. He spun you around and swiftly lifted you up to sit atop the counter, then he stuffed as many damp paper towels into his hands as he could.

He swore his heart broke even more when he saw a few hot tears slide down your cheeks and he quickly wiped them away, "hey, hey, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, are you okay?"

You nodded through your tears and he softly dabbed away your blood, realizing your face was going to bruise and it would be all his fault. Once the bleeding had stopped and all remnants of blood had left your face, he stroked your hair a few times, "are you sure you're okay?"

You let out a quiet "yeah" and began to slump forward and Kyle was afraid you were going to pass out but you didn't, instead just leaning into his chest and wrapping your arms tightly around him. He reciprocated it, placing 2 kisses atop your head and rubbing up and down on your back. He felt your body begin to shudder and he imagined you were sobbing now so he pulled back again.

"Hey what-" he started but you were laughing. He had wacked your face so hard you had a bloody, bruised up nose and you were laughing. "What is it? What's funny? Are you feeling okay?" Perhaps you had a concussion and were starting to get delirious.

"Nothing, it's just, all of this. It's kind of funny," he let his hands rest on each of your thighs and gave them a loving squeeze and you grabbed his face and kissed him hard. He hummed into your lips. You pulled away. "Hey."

He chuckled, "hey."

"You wanna leave early?" You nudged his nose with your own as if there were some way he would say no to you.

"Mhm."

You hopped down from the counter with the assistance of Kyle and shivered once you reached the ground. "What, are you cold?"

"You know, when you lose blood, your body constricts blood vessels, lowering the amount of blood your heart pumps outside the center of your body, which makes you colder." You looked at him pointedly.

He rolled his eyes and tore off his fraternity jacket and placed it over your shoulders. "How considerate," you mused at him and he rested his arm over your shoulders and led you out of the party.

The drive was short, there was no traffic and Kyle was completely sober for it, so you arrived at his home a mere 5 minutes after you left. Once he got out of the car, he came around to your side to open your door for you as he always did, but you remained sitting there, letting out a short groan. "Mmm, I don't wanna get up."

"Come on, sweetheart, you gotta get outta the car." You just didn't say anything, and he knew by that that he wasn't winning this argument, so he tossed the keys on your lap and picked you up bridal style, carrying you inside.

He tossed you down onto his bed, not caring about roughness just this once since you were being bratty. He began to walk away, "wait! where are you going?" You called out for him but he didn't respond.

He reappeared with a bottle of pills and a glass of water in his hand, and he set them both on his nightstand, slipped his shoes off and crawled into his bed. "Take those in the morning, your face is gonna hurt."

"I wonder what people are gonna say, I hope no one thinks you did this on purpose." You get under his blankets and curl up next to him and he accepts you into his warm embrace.

"I would never," he furrowed his brows in astonishment.

You craned your neck up to be face to face with him. "I love you."

"I love you," he kissed you passionately and rested his forehead on yours.

[junisfics]

All This Time — Armin Arlert (1)

series masterlist

Pairing: Armin Arlert x Reader

Word Count: 5.1k

Series Summary: Reader messages her best friend Armin late one night while she's drunk and needy, but will she remember the things she said to him in the morning, and if she does... will she regret it?

Part Summary: After Armin receives a disturbingly vague message from his best friend, he shows up to her house only to find her drunk and needy

Content: Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Eventual Smut

Content Warnings: Sexual Content, Mentions of Masturbation, Sexual Fantasies

You met Armin in your freshman year of high school. You had gone to separate middle schools, but those two schools fed into your then high school and you became classmates. You shared a band class together, Armin played clarinet and you played the piano. The entire band was split between two periods, you and Armin’s seventh period consisted of woodwinds while the other period held brass… percussion was split evenly between the two periods. 

That was the first game of chance.

The second one was after-school practice sessions with Mr. Steunberg. Apparently, Armin was struggling with sight-reading just as much as you were, so you were paired together for practice lessons on Mondays. And every Monday for the second semester of freshman year, you and Armin played your instruments in that little sound booth while your music teacher corrected you from outside.

Eventually, the twenty minutes between the end of school and the beginning of lessons was being shared between the two of you rather than each of you hiding off down some hallway. You had decided to come down the band hall early, conveniently at the same time Armin had as well. 

It started with one of you asking if the other had a certain teacher, followed by asking if they had completed the night’s assignment for that class. Over time, the floor distance between you two closed and you’d sit cross-legged on the carpeted floor just outside the booth, knee to knee, sharing snacks before Mr. Steunberg made his way from his History class and down to the band hall. You’d work on homework together and laugh over the squeaking mistakes from the neighboring booths.

Just around the time when you and Armin began to grow comfortable with each other, your organized lessons had stopped and your blooming friendship had been put on pause. Neither of you missed it too much, you barely knew each other, but you still smiled at each other in the halls and occasionally talked before your shared class if there was time, but there really wasn’t.

It was like that for a while; little waves, sentence-long conversations, awkward silences followed by equally as awkward good-byes. It was months before you ever talked the same way you had in that little hallway.

It wasn’t like you craved his presence. Christ, you would completely forget about him if you didn’t see him every day in class. But when he came up to you at the end of the day one day while you were sitting on the piano bench, waiting for the final bell to ring, you couldn’t help but smile.

You still remember the shirt he was wearing, how he pushed those thin-rimmed glasses he still wore up his nose as he talked with you, “Can you help me with sight-reading? I don’t wanna tell my mom I need lessons again and I’m embarrassed to ask anyone else.”

Of course, you had said yes to him, you wouldn’t be pulling your phone out in the middle of the night in the peak of summer to text him while you’re shit-faced to text him if you hadn’t.

Your practicing together turned into practicing and doing homework together, which turned into getting off track and watching YouTube videos together. Then came the hanging out outside of homework and lessons; goofing off at either of your neighborhood parks, walking down the road to get fast-food, running around in a grocery store because there was nothing else to do in the suburbs.

There wasn’t an exact moment where you agreed that you were best friends, it just happened. You were always there for him whenever he got pushed around by the baseball boys, when his parents got divorced and his grandfather moved in, when he got his acceptance letter to the college of his choice; and he was there for you for your first boyfriend and your first heartbreak, he was there when your dog was lost for five days… he being the one that found her, and when you got your acceptance letter, he was the one sitting next to you with open arms.

There were moments when you found yourselves distancing; when you got into little arguments. But at the end of the day, the love that each of you had for each other was stronger than anything. You always came back to him, and he to you. 

No matter how many times you broke his heart by flirting with him just to hook up with some random guy at a party the same day, told him that he was your ‘best friend’, talking about how he was ‘like a brother’ to you, he couldn't leave you and he couldn’t stop loving you.

Armin would do anything for you and you would do anything for Armin. This is why when he got your messages in the dead of the night, he was over to your apartment before he could even text back.

‘armin’ ‘come over’ ‘help’ ‘need help’

Every second between the moment he got your messages until he reached your door, he was mortified. His heart was pounding out of his chest, knuckles turning white as he gripped the steering while swerving around corners recklessly, eyes flitting over your parking lot to try and find anything out of the ordinary.

He almost tripped on the curb of the sidewalk while running up to your building. He was whipping open doors and frantically pressing elevator buttons as his keys still jangled in his hands, he didn’t even think to shove them into his pockets. His eyes bore into the red, electric lettering at the frame of the elevator, watching the numbers increase with his hand pressing against the metal doors like it’ll somehow make it go faster.

Once he reaches your door, he knocks frantically, jolts of pain shooting through his knuckles as he does so.

And you’re right at the door waiting for him. You tug it open the second you hear him outside of it, a giant smile of relief on your face.

“Oh my god! Thank god you’re here! I was going to pass out from waiting so long,” You giggle, grabbing ahold of his forearm that was still outstretched from knocking and pulling him inside.

It took him a moment to realize that you’re alright, that you’re standing right there in front of him, unharmed and unscathed, with his sweatshirt pulled over you, the one he gave you before leaving for university. You’re bouncing on the balls of your feet as you grab at his arms to bring him forward, stumbling back over your own feet in the process which just sends you into another fit of giggles.

You had a slight sheen of sweat over your face and neck, not a lot, just enough so when your head turned to look behind you the kitchen lights bounced against the gloss on your skin. You didn’t have pants on as well, just these light grey boy-short panties that completely exposed the length of your legs.

It wasn’t like Armin hasn’t seen you in a swimsuit before. Many times your parents had taken you on trips to a lake where you would go tubing and swimming for hours on end until you were both drained of all your energy. But seeing you in, presumably, nothing but his sweatshirt and panties that bared your thighs and bottom curves of your ass had him far more flabbergasted than a swimsuit ever could.

“You’re — you’re okay?” He asks, voice still wavering with concern as you continue to drag him towards the kitchen.

“Absolutely not!” You sound serious, “I need help… with making my dessert.” Your faux serious tone falls apart and you’re choking back another wave of laughter.

Armin watches you incredulously but intently as you slide your hands down his forearms until both of your hands meet his own, giving them a squeeze before spinning around and gripping the kitchen island’s counter.

You have an array of stainless steel bowls crowded beside each other while a mixture of dry baking goods sits unstirred in one of the bowls. You shuffle through the measuring cups and spoons before picking up a large wooden spoon and holding it up to Armin, presenting it to him, like you’ve found a block of gold.

When you turn away from him, he looks over the state of the kitchen. Sugar and flour remnants cover the countertops, series of baking instruments litter them as well, and on the kitchen table is a bottle of vodka.

And then it hits him; you’re playful nature, unpredictability, clumsiness, and intimacy.

“Are you drunk?” He asks you. He isn’t disappointed, or angry, just slightly taken aback.

You bring your head up from the bowl and tilt your head side to side like you were thinking over his question, “A little.”

It was much more than ‘a little’. Before you had even started drinking you were in a playful mood. You had just gotten the offer for a summer job for lifeguarding at the apartment complex’s pool and you thought to celebrate by binging your favorite television show and having a few shots. Then, a few shots turned to many and you were dancing around your living room while having the time of your life before you had settled on making yourself some food. ‘Another celebration’ you had convinced yourself.

But the measuring and the mixing were too hard and who else was there to call other than your best friend?

“Oh my god.” Armin smiles, shaking his head at you and making his way towards you as you continue to mix at god-knows-what you’ve put into that bowl, “You need actual food, not whatever you’re making here.”

You let go of the spoon, letting out a little huff of frustration at his words, scrunching your nose real cutely as you turn towards him. You take the front of his tee-shirt in your hands, gently fiddling with the fabric as you pout.

“I want dessert, Armin.” You whine, bringing your head forward to rest your cheek on his chest. Your chest was pressing against his torso, bare legs knocking against his own.

“’Tomorrow-You’ is going to thank me for not letting you have dessert.” He awkwardly brings one of his hands to your back, patting it a few times before letting his hand rest between your shoulder blades.

“Please?” You whisper, tilting your head up until he can feel your tiny breaths against his chin. Armin hopes you can’t feel the way his heartbeat begins to pick up in his chest at your close proximity.

“No… No, I’ll — I’ll make you toast or something, how does that sound?” He suggests, snaking his hands between the two of you to gently nudge you off him.

But the space between the two of you is quickly closed when your slide your hands up his chest and around his neck, “Don’t want toast.” You murmur, standing up on the tips of your toes to get in his eye-line. Your nose was only a breath away from his.

Armin carefully takes your wrists in his hands, taking your arms off him as he stammers out, “Well, you’re going to have toast.”

You let out another noise of frustration as you pull yourself away from him, your hands balling into fists at your sides while he pulls open your fridge for the loaf of bread on the top shelf. You watch him with your head tilted in fascination like you’ve never seen bread before, admiring the way his hair falls into his eyes as his pretty hands unwrap the plastic sleeve of the loaf then tug the toaster away from the counter backsplash.

He truly was so beautiful. You always contained your attraction towards him so well, but now your restraint was slipping.

You prance over to him, slipping your arms around his waist and resting your head against his back as he slides two slices of bread from the loaf. His skin is so warm beneath the thin fabric of his shirt. You can feel the muscles in his shoulders and back flex as he moves his arms, his abdominal muscles twitching as well in reaction to your fingertips skimming over them.

God, he’s so fucking nervous. 

Why is he so nervous? 

Because you’re all over him in just panties and his shirt when he’s had a crush on you for as long as he can remember. You’re being so touchy, so intimate with him, he’s afraid he might explode.

“Go sit down. Can’t — can’t help you if you’re in my way.” He says. Oh but he could help you, he could help you even if you were hanging on him like a spider monkey, he’s just afraid you’ll realize your effect on him if you do so.

“I just wanna be close to you. You’re so cute.” You nuzzle your head under his left arm until you and slip your whole body under it and stand ever so slightly in front of him, wedged between his torso and the countertop.

Your hands play with the hem of his shirt as you look up to him, your eyes glossy, and your pupils were blown. Armin tries his best to keep himself subtly distanced from you, but it’s no use. Every time he inches away, you’re just back on him. 

You’re sliding your hands up his chest, fingers tracing over his jaw and cheekbones as you cling to his side. He can feel your hips knocking against his, your thighs rubbing against his as you shift around to try and get closer. Your fingers follow along the curves of his neck, tracing down his throat then skimming over his collarbones.

“Sit here then. Sit on the counter.” Armin grabs ahold of your torso and pushes you against the counter, the edge of it rutting into the small of your back. You grab ahold of his biceps and let out a flirty little giggle at what his actions could be insinuating.

Your fingers press into the plush muscle of his arms as he strains to lift you, your heels grappling at the cabinets below you to try and aid him. His waist ends up slipped between your knees when you’re finally seated, and you can feel your body flush hot with arousal.

You were already sweating from the exertion you had put forward before he had arrived, but the added closeness with Armin was just driving you crazy.

“Now sit, and stay.” Armin places his hands in front of you to enforce his directions.

You giggle a few times, smiling at the fact that he’s treating you like a dog, “Woof.” 

Armin slips his waist out from your knees to come to your left slide, plucking the now toasted bread from the toaster and setting it on a napkin. He pulls open the drawer to his right for a butter knife, then snatches the butter from the island and brings it to your toast. 

His hands shake as he pulls the glass top of the butter dish, they shake as he dips the knife into the butter, and continues to shake as he spreads the butter over the first piece of toast. He can feel your thigh brushing against his hip as you swing your legs.

You begin to breathe heavier, the heat of exhaustion and heat of arousal begin to grow overwhelming. You fan your face a few times, pushing your hair off your neck, before grabbing the hem of his sweatshirt and pulling it up and over your head.

“What — what are you doing?” Armin stammers, taking a tiny step away from you.

You absentmindedly fold the sweatshirt before setting it aside to fan your face again, “It’s so hot… I think it’s you, Armin.”

You can see his face flush red this time, his ears as well, turning his cheeks and nose a pretty pink shade that doesn’t help your problem.

Armin tries to ignore you, he really does, but it’s so difficult because now you’re in this skimpy little tank top with spaghetti straps. And the straps are slipping off your shoulders and Jesus fucking christ you’re not wearing a bra. He can’t stop his eyes from flitting over your scantily clad figure, drinking in the way your thighs squish against the counter, the curve of your ass as it’s pressed to the granite, the way your nipples tease the thin fabric of your skin.

“Have I ever told you that? That you’re so fine?” You giggle, running a finger down his bicep as he finishes buttering your toast. You’re so grateful that he’s got that stupid white tee shirt on, the one that keeps your gaze lingering over the lean muscle in his chest and back.

“Um, n — no. Toast is done, hop down.” He refuses to make eye contact because if he does, he’s scared he won’t be able to stop himself from kissing you.

“Help.” You pout, reaching out your hands and grabbing for his shoulders.

Armin listens to your plea, setting the toast back down and grabbing ahold of your waist to slide you off the counter. But instead of bringing your feet to the floor, you wrap your legs around his waist and hook your arms around his neck. You have to tilt your head down to look into his eyes, only to see his pupils blown and lashes fluttering as he blinks.  He doesn’t push you off him. Instead, he uses his left hand to snatch the food off the counter while his right hand comes to brace your lower back. 

He’s afraid he’s going to have a heart attack now; feeling your thighs wrapped around him, your cunt hovering just right over his growing cock, your back arching your chest so close to his face that he swears if he looked down he would get a perfect view of your tits, your parted lips all glossy, breath fanning over the bridge of his nose as you run your fingers over the curves of his pretty pink lips.

Fuck. He was definitely getting off to this later.

You’re giggling all the while, and to an extent, you know exactly the effect you have on him. It’s cute, the way he stumbles around your house and trying to keep his footing as he brings you to your bedroom. 

“C’mon, Armin. At least take me on a date first,” You tease as he kneels down to bring your backside to the foot of the bed. Once your legs release his waist, he stands again.

“I’m — I’m not trying — we’re not —” He stutters, bringing his hands forward again like he’s scared you’ll pounce on him.

It’s not that he doesn’t want to. Armin wants nothing more in the entire world than to have you beneath him, to have his cock sheathed inside you, to have you moan out his name as you cum around his cock…

But he couldn’t let it happen like this.

You were drunk, so so drunk. And you probably didn’t even know what you were saying.

“We can if you want to.” You speak softly, your knees knocking together as you settle into your seat, fiddling with your hands in your lap as if you got all shy all of a sudden.

And when you look up to him through your lashes, brows furrowed slightly in a pout, Armin almost caves. But he catches himself just as fast, shoving your toast in front of you like it’s a shield.

Your eyes shift down to the food that’s presented before you, and your pout turns into a cute little smile as you daintily take it from his hands. You let the napkin rest in your left palm as you hold the food in your right, immediately taking a little bite out of it.

“You want some water?” Armin asks, still standing in front of you.

You give him a nod without looking up, taking another bite out of the toast while he fills up the cup that he knew rested beside your bathroom sink. As he stands in front of the mirror he takes a moment to breathe in and out deeply as the water fills the cup.

You were going to be the death of him.

“You know, I mean it when I say you’re attractive,” He hears you say, still sitting all obediently on your bed and waiting for him to return, “Everyone’s like, ‘oh Armin got so hot!’, but I always thought you were cute… you just got so — nnghh — in the past year.”

He returns with your glass of water, holding it out to you as you finish chewing. You take it from him gently, holding it in both your hands, careful not to drop it, as you take little sips.

He knew you were being irrational, but he truly hopes you mean what you say.

When you finish drinking, you pat your hand against the mattress as you set your cup to the floor. You want him close again, want the warmth he radiates both physically and spiritually. Armin listens to your ask and sits beside you carefully, running his hands over his thighs as you pull your legs up on the mattress and cross them under you.

“Do you think I’m pretty?” You ask, voice getting tiny again.

That was real… that question… he’s so sure of it. You were always insecure about your looks when you had no reason to be, but he had no idea that you cared what he thought about you.

“I — um… I — I don’t think my — my opinion matt —” He tries to get it to come out sounding right, but the moment he opens his mouth he already knows he’s failed terribly.

“Do… do you not think I’m pretty?” He can hear the feeling of betrayal in your voice, you turn your head away from him.

“No! No, y/n, I think you’re really pretty —”

You grab ahold of his shirt collar and tug him towards you as you let your back fall to the mattress. His torso comes over you and his hand shoots out beside your head to keep him from falling atop you. He can’t even bring himself to pull off of you, because your noses are touching and he can feel your knees knocking against the left side of his waist.

“I — you’re — God, y/n you’re so pretty. Don’t ever think I don’t think that.” He breathes, trying so hard to your lips from touching, for his own sake.

Your mouth splits into a smile and a little laugh escapes your lips. Your free hand grabs ahold of his shirt as well, assuring both you and him that he isn’t going anywhere. You look down to his lips, slightly parted as he pants heavily to keep his composure.

“No, but you don’t understand,” You keep your eyes on his lips, fighting the desire to kiss him, “You’re so fucking hot.”

Armin’s breath gets caught in his throat because you had spoken that in a borderline whimper. Your bottom lip had been taken between your teeth after you finished speaking, and he swears he could see your back arch slightly.

It was completely visible now, how much you needed him. You were holding onto him for dear life, your thighs were squeezing together and your arched back had your stomach brushing against his. You looked at him through half-lidded eyes, irises filled with lust and hunger.

Armin’s so grateful that your legs are to his side and now wrapped around his waist again because he would not have been able to stop himself from grinding down against you… it would have been completely involuntary.

“And — and don’t tell anyone this but sometimes… sometimes I get off to you,” You bring your voice to a whisper as you reveal your secret, lifting your head to move closer to him. He can feel your lips brush against his as you speak, “Actually... like all the time.”

Armin lets out an audible exhale, his jaw slacking at your revelation, he has to shut his eyes again.

“Do you get off to me too?” You ask. And you speak like you didn’t just reveal that to him, bringing your head back down to the mattress and smiling.

Of course he does. Of course he does. 

Junior year of high school you offered to be his first kiss, just for fun, ‘cause you were friends, right? And you wanted to help him get it over with. 

But every night since then, Armin has gotten off to you; laid back in his bed with his cock in his fist, and whispering your name as he cums.

“I — we’re best friends — y/n, I —”

“Best friends don’t wanna fuck each other, Armin.” You say, your voice losing all its playfulness and growing serious like you had suddenly become sober.

You stare into his pretty blue eyes for a moment, letting your own flit between the two of his. You were watching for any change in his expression, any look of disgust or repulsion, but you don’t find any. He just keeps that same incredulous, lust-filled look on his face.

He looks over you as well. Your eyes were still so droopy and hazy, your lips parted like you’re manually breathing. You were so drunk that it almost hurt him. You weren’t going to remember a single thing in the morning, and the two of you would be back to square one because Armin would never be able to repeat to you what you said to him or admit his searing desire for you.

Armin can feel your grip on his shirt tighten once more, and instead of lifting your head to him, you pull him down to you.

“I need you,” You whisper, voice shaking with arousal, “Fuck me... please.”

Armin swallows hard, his arms beginning to shake under his weight. He was going to fucking explode. He needed a break, just a moment, anything so he can catch his breath and regain some of his composure.

Christ, he was so fucking hard. If you were sober, he wouldn’t hesitate for a single second to rip off both of your clothes and push his cock inside you.

“I can’t — you’re drunk,” He murmurs, and you can hear the hurt in his voice. You can hear the fact that he truly wanted to do what you begged him for.

“No, Armin, I want it. I need it. I mean it, I swear.” You plead, your hands pawing at his shirt like he was attempting to get away from you and you wanted him to stay. But Armin was set put, he wasn’t moving, he couldn’t move even if he wanted.

“I need your cock.”

“Not — not now. You need to sleep this off. You’re… you’re not yourself right now,” He takes his eyes off yours, closing them once more and squeezing them shut.

“I’ve — I’ve always wanted you though. Always, I promise.” You continue, hoping that somehow you’ll convince him.

It was true. You wish he could understand how true it was. All the guys you had gotten with after-parties, after football games… they were all just replacements, they were fill-ins for him. You would pretend that it was him that was filling you up, gripping your hips and whispering dirty things against your ear. And for seconds at a time, it would work and you would convince yourself that Armin was right there with you.

And every time you would see him helping another girl with school work, see them flirting with him and getting touchy with him, playing with his glasses or drawing shapes on his hands with a pen… this disgusting feeling would churn around in your stomach and bubble up into your throat. And although Armin was oblivious to their flirting, it still hurt so fucking bad.

“I’ve always wanted you too… just — just not like this. Just sleep it off, okay? And — and then we’ll talk.” His left hand wraps around your waist while his right switches to brace beside your head. He grabs ahold of your torso and shimmies you up the bed until your head meets the pillow.

He sits back on his calves, his left arm sliding out from under you while his right hand brushes your messy hair out of your face before petting your head.

“And, and you’ll fuck me in the morning?” You ask, completely genuine.

Armin swallows hard again, pulling himself away from you and helping you slide your body under your sheets, “If — if you still want me to.”

You look up to him with your eyes full of admiration as he smoothes the sheets over your body, “I’ll always want you to.”

It comes out sounding much more intimate than it actually is to say that ‘you’ll always want Armin to fuck you’. And Armin lets his eyes meet yours again, matching the love that’s filled them.

He smiles to hide the doubt he has inside his chest. In the morning, you’ll either regret every word and ghost him or you’ll forget everything you’ve admitted. Both options made Armin’s heart hurt, but he decides that you leaving him would be the worst of the two. He wouldn’t know what to do if you’d never talk to him again. So for now, he truly hopes you forget.

Armin pulls his hands away from you, shuffling his knees on the bed to get off of it. But before he can bring his feet to the ground, you grab ahold of his wrist.

“Stay, please.” You ask, your eyes struggling to stay open. He wonders if you even know that you’re talking.

He listens to you anyway, bringing his hand down to the mattress as he slips himself under the sheets and next to you. And if he wasn’t sure about staying before, he sure was now because you were so warm and so soft as you shimmied back against him. You take his arm and sling it over your waist, letting his palm splay out over your stomach. You can feel every rise of his chest against your back.

You were going to doze off so easily, he was so warm, he was so comforting. You could feel sleep beginning to creep up on you quickly. But before you let it take over, you slide your hand back and between your bodies to grab the source of the hard thing poking into your ass.

“You’re so hard,” You giggle.

Armin chokes on his breath again and grabs your wrist to pull your hand off his dick, “Stop. Go — go to bed.”

You listen this time, retracting your hand to slip it over his that rests on your stomach, interlacing your fingers as you succumb to your exhaustion.

[sukirichi]

happy little accidents

— Life is a series of unfortunate events, but sometimes, there are happy little accidents.

REQUEST. (accidental pregnancy, fuck buddies au) + childhood friends to lovers + baby moments with father! megumi

CONTENT/WARNINGS. slight smut, slight exhibitionism (I think? there’s a CCTV lmao) just daddy megumi uwu

NOTES. hi anon, thank you for requesting and joining the event! I have to admit...I don’t really know how to write this and I just had to ask my mother about her experiences in pregnancy LMAO. I apologize in advance if this sucks, I’m pretty good at fluff but domestic and cute stuff with children isn’t my expertise asggkhl I’m awkward around babies and kids so anyways, I hope you like it! OH AND ALSO I HAVE A CAMEO LMAO

Megumi’s hands runs up under your shirt, bringing about a shiver forward when his cold fingers come into with your warm skin. You feel him smile onto the kiss, his grip nothing but teasing before he brushes the underside of your breast, prompting you to grip closer to his hoodie. You and him were childhood friends; having always liked one another until playing house was no longer a game a but dream, but his family was too strict and controlling – they’ve made it clear long ago this relationship could never and would never happen.

His Uncle Naoya made sure of it.

But that didn’t stop the both of you. All the way from highschool until now in your university days, you and Megumi are still stuck together by the hip, occasionally fucking whenever time allowed. Weekdays are spent staring longingly at each other in the hallways, the weekends flourishing into finally’s and hushed kisses under the sheets, completely unaware of the world you both trudged in.

Today was one of those days, and you’re nothing less of passionate as you swipe your tongue out to taste his lips, smiling when you realize he’s also grown used to wearing your mint flavoured lip balm. “Mhm, Megumi, I missed you,” you placed your legs beside his arms, a contented sigh entering his mouth as he closed his eyes.

“You miss me? I’m always around you,” he reminds you, pulling away momentarily to tug your shirt to the side where he leaves a soft patch of kisses. “Never gonna leave your side, baby.”

“You better not. I’m the best you’ll ever have.”

Megumi nods wholeheartedly in agreement, not wasting time before he pulls you closer to him. You’re almost weightless as you crash on top of him, hands tangled into the other’s hair and his large palm squeezing your breast. It produces a breathy moan from you, a thread of saliva connecting your lips when it comes again – that hellish bitter and sour bile that flows up to your throat. You push yourself off him and run to the bathroom, the content of your stomachs poured while your groans echo around the room.

He’s beside you in an instant, crouching beside you to pull your hair up and pat your back. Once you’ve finished throwing up, you clutch at the indistinguishable bloating of your stomach, leaning back into his touch while you slowly regain your composure.

Your head is throbbing uncomfortably again, one that wouldn’t go away no matter how much you press your thumbs against it.

“Wh-what’s wrong? Are you sick or something?”

You chuckle a bit from the way he frets over you, hands tilting your cheeks side to side while he pales, a sheen of worry visible on his hairline. He’s always been such a worrywart. You look behind him and see the box of condoms in your half-open medicine cabinet, the sight making your heart drop in your chest.

“Megs...when was the last time we had sex?”

“Well,” he scratches the back of his head, “We’ve both been busy from uni, so...last month, I guess? It’s been a long time.”

You swallowed audibly. You’ve recently gotten that box of condoms because if you remember correctly, last time you both skipped straight to the deed after realizing you ran out of it. Eyes flicking over his confused ones, your throat ran dry and itchy from the throw up session, your voice low as you say, “I’m three weeks late on my period, Megs.”

He looks just as shocked as you are, but he doesn’t give you the time to recover before he rushes out into your apartment. For a moment, you’re left heartbroken at the cold bathroom tiles, thinking that he left, but Megumi comes back a few minutes later, a pregnancy test kit and some chocolates inside a plastic bag. Your eyes widen when he gently ushers you to sit on the toilet, his feet tapping impatiently on the floor while you both wait for the result.

And there it is.

The timer on his phone goes off. Megumi rushes beside you, his chin resting on your shoulder as he blinks at the test kit. He turns to you and blinks in question, wondering what the hell it meant.

“’Gumi...it’s positive,” you cry out, sending him into a stagger backwards when you jump at him. Thankfully, he’s carried you too many times to count that he’s natural at hoisting you into his arms, still rendered speechless as you announce, “You’re going to be a dad!”

It’s been five whole months since you and Megumi turned into being stable fuck buddies, intent on hiding your relationship from both your families, into homeless and young parents whose fear over life and the future only increased tenfold now with the growing baby inside you.

You still remember that dreadful moment when both of you are kicked out into your family estate, Megumi’s Uncle Naoya especially enraged over the news. He doesn’t even give his nephew a chance to pack his bags before he signals the bodyguards to escort you out, then takes away all Megumi’s privileges and former luxury of being part of the Zenin Clan. You assume he’d want to strangle his pitiful Uncle for the never ending mistreatment, but your now boyfriend is nothing but happy, relieved that he’s been freed from the tight reins that always got in both your way.

Unbeknownst to the controlling Zenin Clan head, his wife is much more cunning than he is. He knows his wife always had some sorts of tricks hidden up in her sleeve, but even you were surprised when Megumi’s Aunt Suki shows up in your college dorm one day, throwing a set of keys your way with a wink before driving off back to become Naoya’s beloved trophy wife.

She lent you one of her high-estate apartments and even a humble car, silently wiring fees into your bank account since Megumi’s was already shut down.

Truly, if it wasn’t for her, you and Megumi wouldn’t be able to live this comfortably no matter how much both of you worked your ass off.

Now, none of you had to worry about not getting to make ends meet, no more worrying about putting your health at risk by working two jobs a day along with university – you and Megumi agreed to take advantage of her kindness just until the baby was born, opting to live quietly and comfortably in your shared home that would soon be filled with more memories. Well, as comfortably as you both could anyway, since pregnancy – although a beautiful experience – wasn’t always rainbows and unicorns.

Megumi comes home one day, the food you’ve always been craving from the Chinese restaurant from the other town present inside his bag. He’s tired from uni, even more so that he shares your burden of becoming new parents, but every time he comes home to you, all his exhaustion is wiped away, especially with the evident growth of your belly.

Your boyfriend runs up to you after placing the food on the counter, his arms wide open to get a hug – he’s gotten extremely touchy ever since the pregnancy – when you reel away from him, face turning green.

Your fingers come to pitch at your nose, eyes narrowed at his confused pout. “Ugh, Megumi, your deodorant stinks.”

“You were the one who got this for me, though,” his brows furrow as he lifts his sleeve up to sniff himself. He doesn’t smell bad... “You said you liked it on me,” he mumbles more to himself than you, staying still in his spot when he sees how colourless you’ve become. “Why are you looking at me like that? I showered today.”

“I can’t stand the smell of you, I can’t, gosh,” pushing past him, you rush to the toilets, the morning sickness well present all the way until sundown as you throw up. Megumi stands at the doorway, hands extended in front of him as he’s unsure whether he could help you or not. You firmly shake your head at him, lips turned into a sneer. “No, don’t get near me or I will honestly whack you with my purse, Megumi. Get rid of that deodorant and find a scent free one or something.”

Megumi is left with a slack jaw when you hop into bed afterwards, too tired and irritated to finish your papers. Seeing that he should probably do the same and pamper you instead, Megumi is silent as he crawls under the covers, only to be kicked out with a harsh kick to his thigh and a fiery, “Get out!”

“Nobara,” he whines into the phone, too fearful to even look at the bedroom at the thought that you’d feel his gaze and get even angrier. Your instincts and senses sharpens with each passing day; he won’t risk it. “My girlfriend hates me!”

“I could see why.”

Megumi groans at his friend’s flippant tone, the sound of a nail file grazing acrylics mixed with lo-fi music playing from the other line. “I’m serious – she doesn’t even want me a foot near her! When I tried to join her on the bed, she literally woke up just to hit me with a pillow. Right in the face!”

“Let me guess, you’re banned from the bedroom and staying on the couch?”

“Yeah, I am,” he sulks on the couch, “I don’t know why she hates me. I can’t imagine what I did wrong.”

“You don’t have to do anything wrong for a pregnant woman to hate you, Fushiguro. It’s not your fault your face is just really annoying,” Megumi makes a sound of protest before slapping a hand over his lips, nervous gaze darting at your door again. He relaxes into the seat; you’ve probably fallen asleep. “But on a more serious note, I think it’s the hormones. She’s erratic right now and you can’t blame her, she’s literally growing a child inside of her, dude, are you crying?”

“She might divorce me because of my deodorant.”

“Idiot, you two aren’t even married!” Nobara bellows loud enough that Megumi pulls the phone away from his ear, waiting until she’s calmed down and continues speaking like she didn’t just burst his ear drums. “Listen, just be extra sweet and careful around her, okay? Don’t open your mouth as well unless you want to die. Now get a notepad or something, we’re going to devise the best Baby Mama Seduction Plan that is guaranteed to win her heart.”

“You’re a lifesaver, Nobara!”

“Hmph, you owe me tickets to that fashion show though. Get your rich ass uncle to pull some connections or something.”

“Nobara, you know I can’t—”

“Oh shit, is that your girl about to kick you in the face?” Megumi yelps as his body flips at the direction of your room, both hands raised in surrender with his phone pressed between his ear and shoulder. He sighs – the door is still closed – he should be safe for now. Meanwhile, Nobara snickers cockily, almost as if she could see everything. As always, Nobara was triumphant. “That’s right, we both don’t want that to happen, so stick to your end of the deal man.”

Megumi stays up the whole night to execute Nobara’s plan. It’s tiring to run back and forth in the open convenience stores just to fill the fridge up with all your favourite food, but Megumi is determined to have you accept him again, even if he knows you’re not actually rejecting him.

By the time you’ve woken up, all beautiful and glowing as you pad out your room, Megumi stands up straight to conceal his body ridden with exhaustion. He just wants to make you happy.

“What’s all this?”

“You’ve been working hard,” he starts off unsurely, a hand scratching the back of his head as he gauges for your reaction. You plop down on the dining table and don’t scowl as you take a whiff of the food, blinking for a few seconds before you dig in. It’s enough for him to take as a go-signal, and he walks beside you carefully, his voice wavering and soft. “I just wanted to surprise you – show you how much I love and admire you...all that.”

“That’s suspicious,” you mouth through a mouthful of dumpling, but smile anyways with your arms extended. “Come here, give me a kiss.”

Megumi is beyond elated as he buries himself in the warmth of your arms again, sighing when you kiss his cheeks and jaw. “Are we good?”

“Did you replace your deodorant?”

“Yes...”

“Good boy,” you kiss him on the lips this time. Megumi has the audacity to blush as if he didn’t just fuck a baby into you, making you laugh before you slap his ass, last night’s irration now replaced with a reminder that this was Megumi – your first love and everything more. There was no way you wouldn’t be ‘good’ with him; you’d go to heavens and back for him, but maybe once you’re done birthing his child. “Yeah, we’re good. Get the mint choco ice cream pint for me?” Megumi sprints to perform your commands, and you reward him by pulling him in for a deeper kiss the time, his lips so sweet and minty. You can’t help but sigh, falling for him over and over again. “You’re such a sweetheart, Megs. This is why I’m head over heels for you.”

“You didn’t want me sleeping beside you for a week straight though.”

Your nose scrunches at the memory – that slight change in your expression making Megumi step back – as you wave a spoon at him, glaring at him in warning. “Like I said, you stank.”

But...pregnancy wasn’t all that bad for the both of you. There were times you’re unable to keep your hands off him. Although unexpected and mostly occurring in the most inconvenient situations, Megumi can’t say he’s complaining, especially not when you push him towards the wall just as the elevator doors closed.

“Daddy,” you moan, guiding his hands into your already soaking wet panties. Megumi breathes sharply as he cups your drenching core, wondering how you’ve gotten this aroused without him doing anything sexual in particular.

The nickname spilling past your lips is unforeseen though, as is his growing kink for it when he hardens immediately.  

“Please, please, please, I need you so much – make me feel good, will you?”

Megumi has to pin your needy, trailing hands all over his chest down to your sides, his pupils blown wide as the elevator ascends from one floor to the other. His eyes dart to the blinking red light from the cameras, his Adam’s apple bobbing when you don’t stop in the slighthest, only leaning forward to tug and nip at the skin of his neck. Megumi groans at your ministrations; you know very well that was his sensitive spot. “Y/N, we’re literally in the elevator, just wait until we get back home—”

When Megumi tries to push you away to stop your hands from palming his boner, you growl, eyes fierce and heated as you turn to him. “Do you want me to chop your dick off and prevent you from having a second child?”

“N-no.”

“Then shut up and fuck me.”

“Fuck, okay, don’t blame me if I make you sore, though.”

You roll your eyes at him, your hands moving expertly as you bunch your skirt up to your waist to show him that your bud was already swollen just for him. “Megumi, my boobs are already are its most sore point, I don’t give a fuck anymore.”

Megumi makes quick work of shoving his pants down just to his knees, gentle yet needy as he pushes your chest flat on the walls, round and perky ass puckered for him to take you already. He could cum just from the sight of you bending over for him like this, your arousal already dripping down your thighs as you wiggle your hips at him, breathless in the desire to be taken once more.

There were still fifteen floors to go before you reached your destination. Megumi’s brows pinch together in anxiety that anyone could press for the lift, but you’re also submissively bent over for him, moaning and gasping his name even when it’s only the tip of his cock sliding into you.

He sees the way your fingers hover over the buttons, clearly more prepared to shut the doors and deny others entry than he was, and he thinks fuck it to himself before he buries himself deep into you, head thrown back at the heavenly and salacious feeling of fucking you raw. You’re somehow warmer and tighter, wetter with puffier lips during your second trimester. Just as he blanches at the thought he could hurt you, he remembers the doctor’s encouragement of more sex. Being the good boyfriend he is, Megumi fucks hard into you, groaning and panting when your walls clamp down on him.

He only wants to help you.

Days of rubbing your feet and singing to your belly were gone – now replaced with laughter pouring into your house and switching from listening to Mother Mother into actually enjoying nursery rhymes playing from the stereo.

It feels just like yesterday when he rushes you to the emergency room, your hand nearly crushing his during your contractions before you gave birth to his child.

Megumi has never really been much of an emotional person, preferring to be calm and stoic unless you’re around; the rare times he actually lets his walls down. Surrounded by a group of doctors, though, Megumi stops caring about saving face when they hand him his daughter. He isn’t the least bit embarrassed when he sobs upon seeing the tiny bundle of joy in his arms, so small and vulnerable that promised there and then – he’d do everything he can to protect his child and give them the best future.

Fushiguro Megumi is a hands-down helicopter dad. The moment you’re able to take your daughter back home, he’s already had the whole house baby proofed. Along with studying for his exams, he’s also switching back and forth to parenting guide books.

You can tell he’s taking his job as a dad very seriously. Megumi doesn’t hesitate to shoot out of the bed in the middle of the night whenever he hears his daughter cry, racing you to her crib while he rocks her back and forth and you prepare her milk. You’re both utterly tired and sleep deprived, your head resting on his shoulder as your baby calms down in his arms. Faintly, you feel him kiss the top of your head, encouraging you to go back to sleep with the assurance he can handle it.

But of course, you’re the stubborn parent, and you drag your boyfriend and daughter back to bed, making sure there was enough space to make her comfortable before falling asleep.

Being a parent – especially with the love of your life – has never felt any more magical.

Of course, it was hard and definitely not a walk in the park, but it was worth it. Every time you came home from school, Megumi would already be there, his daughter babbling nonsensically in his arms while he prepared her meals. At the sounds of the door opening, both of them would run to you, showering you with kisses while you did the same.

Both your families have still refused to accept you back – not that you both minded – but it was getting shameful to keep relying on his relative to provide for your family. Eventually, you and Megumi decided that the other stays to take care of your baby while you work after class.

You’re staggering inside your home like a zombie after a long day, muscles aching from too much work and brain barely functioning due to the lack of sleep. With a long, drawn out sigh, you plop on the couch next to your boyfriend who jolts back awake, still careful not to let his drooling daughter wake up in his arms. Upon seeing it’s just you, Megumi leans over to kiss you on the nose, smelling sweetly of floral detergent powder and baby cologne.

“Welcome home,” he murmurs at your skin, your eyes already fluttering close at the comfort and warmth of home. “Scarlet is fast asleep. She couldn’t wait for you to kiss her goodnight anymore.”

“Don’t be dramatic. Mommy will always come home to the two most precious people in the world,” Now, it’s your turn to kiss Megumi to remind him he’s also doing a great job. You know he’s working just as hard you are, and you honestly don’t think you could do this without him. “Megumi,” you begin, tracing soft circles into his wrist to feel his lulling heartbeat.

“Hmm?”

“Have I ever told you I loved you?”

“I think I know that already,” he smiles romantically at you – even after years, you’re still very much smitten with that smile, and the sight of him and your daughter alone has you relaxing back in your seat.

“Yes, but you need to hear it again,” you tell him, cupping his face into your palms. Megumi sighs as he leans closer into your warmth, his hands patting your daughter’s back to soothe her in her slumber. “You’re such a natural at this – being a father. I’m really lucky I had a family with you. It’s all I ever wanted,” Burying yourself closer into his arms and collecting the both of them into an embrace, you smile into his shoulder, feeling like you’re on cloud nine. “I don’t think life is gonna get better than this, Megs. I’m so happy right now I feel like I could die.”

“Don’t say the d-word around her,” he jokes, the two of you sharing tired and dry laughter. Once the amusement subsides, Megumi’s other hand shifts to squeeze your thigh to get your attention. “Y/N...do you ever think about...making us official?”

“What do you mean?” you mumble sleepily, “How else official could we get? We live together and we have a baby. Soon, we’re going to be employed too and then we can provide better for her and stop relying on Aunt Suki so much,” Megumi nods above you, but his lack of response is worrying that you look up to him, frowning as you see that his face is pulled deep into thought. “We’re already a family, Megs. What’s on your mind?”

“I want to marry you,” he blurts out, “I want to make you mine and mine only – I see a future and a forever with you,” Megumi looks you straight in the eye the whole time. “Marry me, Y/N. Please.”

You’re rendered speechless.

You love him so much, you really do, and nothing about that will change. After spending a lifetime with you, Megumi knows just by looking at your face that there’s a but coming afterward and he clenches his jaw, sadness swirling in his eyes that you have to stop him before his thoughts run off again. “I want that too, Megumi, believe me,” you reassure, brushing his hair back with your fingers; a gesture that always pulled him back to you. “I just don’t want to rush things, you know? We can still barely stand on our own and we have Scarlet to worry about. I think we should focus more on her future than ours.”

Megumi nods, albeit disappointed, though this doesn’t stop him from kissing you straight on the lips before he mutters, “I understand but...think about it, at least?”

“You already know my answer would be yes.”

“Scarlet! I wonder where my little princess is hiding,” Megumi announces from outside your room, your toddler giggling beside you as you both hide behind the closet hand-in-hand. Four years later, you and Megumi are married, and life’s gotten a lot easier – in addition to it being a whole lot more domestic since Megumi takes his husband title just as seriously as being a father. Right now, he’s crawling outside, his voice lowered in an attempt to be scary. “If I find her, she’s going to face the wrath of the tickle monster!”

“Tickle monster!” Scarlet gasps beside you, turning to you with wide eyes. “Mummy, I don’t want tickles!”

“Then we better be quiet so Daddy doesn’t find us!”

With your voice intentionally louder than a whisper, it doesn’t take long before Megumi opens the closet doors, carrying you both effortlessly before dropping you all down onto the bed. “I found you!” You all tickle each other and laugh, your daughter falling into panicked squeals while you chortle at the side. Megumi then hoists Scarlet up before the both of you kiss both sides of her cheeks, sending the giggling child into an utter ticklish mess.

While the two are busy tickling one another, you feign a gasp, clutching at your husband’s bicep.  “Megumi!” your eyes widen, pointing deftly at the kitchen with trembling lips for effect. “Can you please check the oven – I think I left something in there and it might be burning!”

“I don’t smell anything,” is all he says, but runs there anyway. Megumi stands in front of in confusion, Scarlet safely bundled in his arms while her father opens the oven, frowning as he takes the object out and inspects it. “Mittens? But Scarlet is already—” Just then, Megumi’s jaw drops, his grin stretched wide while Scarlet keeps poking at the mittens, trying to make them fit into her slightly larger hands. “No way. Another one?”

“Another candy?”

You laugh at Megumi’s beaming face that matches his daughter’s – the two looking too much alike – but for completely opposite reasons. “We’ll get you all the candies you want, sweetheart,” you swipe a candy from the counter and hand it to your daughter’s grabby hands, pecking Megumi’s cheeks who is still beyond flustered at the announcement. “But yeah we have another one – and it’s a boy!”

[catintheruemorgue]

annoying things they do

summary: small things these guys do that just grinds your gears a bit.

characters: oda, dazai, kunikida, twain, akutagawa, atsushi, mori, poe, ranpo, fittzgerald, steinbeck, chuuya, yosano, gin, kouyou, higuchi, alcott and lucy

these are all based off things i do or have inconvenienced my life lmfao i’ll probs do a part two with everyone i missed this just got wayyy to long lol next im posting being friends with double black 

Oda:

If you're wearing shorts and have bruises he will poke them when you're resting your legs on him. He’s silent about it too and if you yell at him he pretends to act like he doesn't know what you're talking about.

Will smack your sunburn but this one is actually an accident. He just wanted to pat you on the back because you're amazing.

Will space out when you talk too long, sometimes certain objects are just so… mesmerizing

Dazai:

Loves to jumpscare you the only exception is if it was a trigger. In that case he will just call your name and whip something at you for you to catch at random.

When you're driving he likes to reach over and honk your horn. It's almost caused so many roadside fistfights.

If he sees a dog in public he will bark and growl at it.

Kunikida:

Won’t let you on the bed without socks on. You could be sick as a dog and he’ll still enforce this rule.

Cleaning is hard because he has a hard time throwing things away. You'll spend extra time as he holds two identical pens, trying to decide which one he wants to keep. He’s learned to plan certain days in his schedule for cleaning now.

Won't let you turn up the music in the car and will keep it at a level that's so low it's annoying.

Twain:

Walks around the house shirtless but then complains about how cold it is.

Blasts his music so loud when he wakes up in the morning and it's always early 2000’s hits. It's not rare for you to have Pocketful of Sunshine by Natasha Bedingfield stuck in your head by 9 am.

Always has to climb something, this stems from his adventurous side. It's not really that annoying but when you’re in a crowded area and he runs off to go climb the tall statue, screaming at you to take a photo… Yes it is. Especially when children try and follow him and you're stuck receiving glares from the parents.

Akutagawa:

Will not let you throw any food products out. He tells you it's a perfectly good meal (even if it's not) and that he will eat it tomorrow. It’s sad because you know this stems from childhood but it’s still annoying.

Reuses the same gross, musty ziplock baggies. You keep buying new ones but he doesn't get it lol.  

Will tell you if your breath smells, hair is messy, outfit is ugly. He does not see an issue with this and it's nice knowing someone has your back but he doesn't have to be so rude about it..

Atsushi:

If he drinks he's one of those drinkers who will not let you take it from him. Keeps an iron grip on the cup. He finishes it no matter how drunk and always throws up. Thankfully he rarely drinks.

He stops to help everyone, literally even if they just look like they need help. You've been late to so many things.

Will eat anything. Once you made steak and somehow forgot about it. It was hard as a brick yet he still almost broke his teeth eating it. You think you saw some tears as he told you it was delicious.

Mori:

Listens to people's conversations in public and isn't afraid to comment, loudly, about it. You know it's loud because they either stop talking or try and confront you guys.

Comes up to stops fast and brakes so hard you feel like he does it on purpose.

Sometimes if he and Elise get into a “disagreement” he’ll try and rope you in to take his side and you always do, knowing it would probably give him more satisfaction if you chose to side with her.

Poe:

Asks for constructive criticism but will then argue with you about why you're wrong.

Always humming a song he heard Twain singing and then it gets stuck in your head too.

Will deny stupid things like why your favorite mug is in the trash or why he just let out rather loud scream in the bathroom. You know he's lying because he looks away and makes sure his bangs are covering his eyes.

Ranpo:

Will call you out on any lie even if you don't mean to lie you just forgot about some of the details.

Don't take him grocery shopping if you have a set amount you want to spend. He won't even sneak, he will just say he wants something and throw it in the cart.

Such a backseat driver even though he can't drive.

Fitzgerald:

Likes to act like he's still in his twenties and will somehow get the two of you invited to college parties where he will attempt to do a kegger in front of everyone. You end up being the one to hold him up and he always ends with a, “LETS FUCKING GO!”

Likes to ask for the senior discount even though he's not that old, he just likes to hear the women validate that he's not old.

It’s scary how he used to buy without looking and now will scream if the price on a price tag is too high.

Steinbeck:

Always looking at the grass for wheat to chew on. It's so cheesy when you walk into the city and he's got it sticking out of his mouth.

He gets weirdly intimate with nature and you feel like you're third wheeling.

Has the mentality that he has to provide for you because he is the man. He gets so shocked when he finds out you still want to work.

Chuuya:

Has a hard time making decisions you could ask him what he wants for dinner and his mind will just break.

Gets way too pissed at movies and will actually get up and walk away. Once you were kicked out of the theater because he wouldn't stop yelling at the screen. Another time he walked out you waited a whole ten minutes before you realized he wasn't coming back.

Sometimes activates his ability at night and it's so scary waking up to him floating halfway across the room.

WOMAN TIME!!!!!!!!!!

Yosano:

Will glare at you so intensely if you say something she disagrees with.

Always tries to rope you into drinking with her even if you’ve said no the past ten nights.

Will describe wounds or injuries in such detail and just won’t stop, almost like she’s trying to fuck with you, but she’s not.

Gin:

Claims to be nothing like her big brother but then will go on to make the same facial expressions and do some of the same mannerisms as him.

Will spend hours trying things on just to put it all back, leave the store and change her mind when you’re almost home. Then she’ll have you run back with her to buy it all.

Is used to sneaking around so scares you a lot. Also on the topic of being silent sometimes she just won’t respond, thinking you can just read her vibes / mind.

Kouyou:

Will judge what you eat, especially fast food but will try and steal a fry in private when you're not looking.

Will say things like, “Well that's just the way the world works.” If someone tries to share their baggage with her. You understand she’s had a pretty rough life but it's caused you to almost spit out your drink multiple times.

At functions forgets about you for about an hour while she mingles with everyone else, you could tap on her shoulder and she'll dismiss you like you're a subordinate. Until you clear your throat again you'll see the slight blush as she apologizes.

Higuchi:

She has no sense of privacy. If she hears a crash or loud noise she will bust down the door. It’s sweet but not when the noises are usually from you knocking all the shampoo bottles down again.

Horrible road rage actually puts you on edge to be in the car with her. She doesn't even have to be driving.

Likes to act like she's a professional at everything and people usually believe it because of her suit. It's so nerve wracking when she giggles when they walk away with false information.

Alcott:

Will agree to everything you suggest but you can only tell when she doesn’t want to do it when you’re currently doing it.

Yet she’s not afraid to grumble about how annoying it is when someone bumps into you and doesn’t apologize. It’s sweet but you’re left dealing with the situation if the person is aggressive enough to say something.

Always corrects your spelling or if you say something like “I could care less.”

Lucy:

Will fish for compliments in a very obvious way like, “Wow. Wish someone would call me pretty..” and then just stare right at you.

Kicks you so violently in her sleep but won't let go of you so you cant get away.

Constantly stealing from restaurants. You're banned from a couple restaurants because she got caught trying to steal a cup or salt shaker.