#among other scenarios within this context

[softthrillz]

Endurance Athlete Feedist Daydreams

It’s nearing the end of marathon season and my last big race is coming up this weekend, and I haven’t been able to get this special vision of how a feedist relationship in which one partner is an avid distance runner/endurance athlete might play out. We runners have to eat a lot, and I often have trouble getting in enough calories to maintain my weight, balancing out my energy output with enough input. It’s not been my most grueling training plan, but I consistently run about 80 miles a week, and sometimes the intensity of my workouts can ironically make it a bit harder to work up an appetite. I couldn’t help but wondering what it’d be like to have a fat cutie by my side during this training period, what it might be like in the future.... I envisioned a plush partner who loves to eat and cook, loving baking, experimenting with different macro ratios to optimize for things like pre-workout fueling needs and post-workout recovery--snacking all throughout on these various baked goods, encouraging me when I have trouble eating because of the toll intense training can take on the stomach/digestive system (not to mention the exhaustion). Eating my leftovers is just a bonus, of course. Coming back from a long run on the weekend to a shower shake on the counter and a kiss on the cheek as they’re making the fixing for chimichangas--unquestionably a true breakfast of champions (a shower shake is a post-run shake you can just bring with you and drink in the shower lmao--like a shower beer--needless to say, we runners are weird lol--I mean, we just enjoy running around for hours, no surprise there haha), all the while sipping a shake of their own, because why not? Gotta keep their belly nice and topped off. Don’t mind the bits of tofu scram, breakfast potatoes, and soyrizo they’ve been tasting throughout the morning--that’s just being a proper chef! Gotta taste before you waste. Or something like that. Bringing back burgers, fries, and shakes from that new vegan diner down the street one evening after work, enough for my fill, and a daring amount for my tubby love. I help feed them as they start to slow down, offering them sips of their milkshake in between bites, simultaneously cooling them down and filing them up with an absolutely divine oat- and tahini-based chocolate shake. Rubbing their big, inviting belly, pushing along the sides and upper arch in strategic moves to alleviate errant pressure.  “Good job, baby, you ate so much for me,” I’d say.  After languidly basking in the haze of their hedonistic fullness, they likewise help me, noticing I’ve only eaten half my burger and a few sips of my shake. Knowing I ran 16 miles earlier that morning and that I have a sensitive stomach, one soft-but-sure arm comes around to gently hold me around my ribs, pulling me closer, leaning against their squishy side, their other hand coming to slowly brush gently across my stomach. ”Stomach giving you trouble? You need to finish that darling, let me help you,” they’d tell me. After working through our respective meals, in a sneakily caring plan to get more food into me after an intense week of training, they bring out some Tupperware filled with the pastries and other goods they baked to munch on while catching up on a show that night, ending up eating 3 or 4 or 5 for every one they got in me, but it works for us, for both of our goals, seemingly divergent, but actually at least parallel, harmonious even. Serving one another in this interesting feedist dynamic, where the feedee and feeder live outside of a rigid feedism binary and moreso in a synergistic space of care and affection and heat, realistically adaptable to situational realities, but familiar in many ways beyond those unique personal qualities.  Gosh, I can imagine finishing a race and seeing their cherubic cheeks bunched up in a laughing cheer, holding a sign in one hand and a snack in the other, falling into the soft, plush, pillowy form of an absolute babe, feeling flush and wild and electric with that post-race energy, the crowd still cheering as fellow runners cross the finish line. “I’m so proud of you, darling,” I imagine they’d tell me as I catch my breath, “you made it!” Cheekily, I might look at them mischievously and say, “wanna go help reup my glycogen stores?” And with a brilliant grin they’d reply, absentmindedly rubbing their ever-burgeoning belly in anticipation “of course baby, I’ve been planning this feast for AGES. First we’re going to go to...” I’d lovingly gaze at them as they guide me in my post-race daze back to the car, excited to eat hard after a long 26.2 miles on the road--and ensure my partner more than matches me and then some while we’re at it.... Yeah, I can definitely envision that.😌

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

Carmy Berzatto and his erotic transfer

All the things he says and some he doesn’t even dare to voice out, about the C person, are actually about Sydney.

The sublimation, emotional avoidance, denial, and projection are topics most of the fandom has already picked up on since S2 and all of us have talked about them often, obviously so did I:

Here

Here

Here

And here

Now, if we dig deeper, Carmy is what therapists usually call: a TRANSFER CLIENT.

Transference is a psychological mechanism that allows the person to direct feelings or desires related to an important figure in their life—such as a parent or a significant other—toward someone who is not that person. 

*More about transference here.

It typically happens in the therapeutical context between therapist-client but it's not necessarily limited to that context as it can be very common in other scenarios, such as professional, educational, etc. Especially among those who tend to project. Like Carmy.

Let's recap, shall we?

“I know we’re not supposed to hang out until later” (after talking to Syd about silverware).

My favest: The kiss after Syd said: "Goodnight!"

“I have to call my GF” (right after hugging Syd for having passed the fire suppression test).

“She’s so great that scares the shit outta me” (while under the table with Syd).

“She’s peace” (I won’t even mention the panic attack at this point, which is what makes this literally illogical unless we frame it within a transfer context, which is exactly what Carmy's case would dictate to be done by a therapist IF HE WERE UNDER TREATMENT.) This would be sooooo easy if he just made an appointment with a therapist and a psychiatrist and saw them weekly. So easy! FML!

“Sorry” (after the Polka dot sauce to a person he never dared to call because the real person he wanted to say that to was the one he had JUST TALKED TO AND TURNED AROUND AND LEFT).

This is not just a projection, it’s full-on transfer, erotic transfer even, to be more specific. It is even more common in people with a history of abuse.

Source: Harvard LWW Journal.

Erotic transfer

As I mentioned above, this is quite common in a psychotherapeutic context. Interactions between therapist and patient are influenced by the feelings and impressions that develop during the therapeutic relationship. The terms transference and countertransference are used to describe this process. We have virtually a million papers on this particular topic, and all therapists know exactly how to deal with these cases and even use the countertransfer as a therapeutic tool. There are even lines of treatment based on transference and countertransference that have proven to help patients who experience this type of unconscious feelings toward their therapists.

There's a whole section in the code of conduct that determines the guidelines and limitations to deal with this and any other type of transference (there are multiple types) in a therapeutic environment, and all professionals have to comply with them at all times.

BUT

-This is gonna be a loooong question, fasten your seatbelts-

What happens when this is the case of a chef who is experiencing a sexualized transference in which he is unconsciously transferring his sexual fantasies about his business partner, containing elements that are primarily reverential, romantic, intimate, sensual, or sexual not toward his therapist but towards an Emergency Dr. who was his frustrated high school crush, whom obviously he has idealized because back then he couldn't even talk to her and just sketched her away in his notebook

And who has idealized him right back as well, because the crush was mutual.

Not to mention someone who is not avoidant, she's maybe even too forward:

Someone who goes after what she wants and just doesn't give a rat's ass about saying things like:

"Never apologize"

"No one is keeping score of dropped shoes"

"I love you"

?

there.

Then what?

Well:

And of course:

He ended up not choosing Claire this time around either, sure! But the transference remains as his undealt feelings of guilt and emotional avoidance are still part of the equation, and until those are fully elaborated consciously and he makes a conscious decision as to how to move forward, he will continue being stuck in this situation and transferring, projecting and sublimating his true desires onto a more attenable and convenient canvas:

How do erotic transferences end?

The only way is to put it on the table (absolutely no pun intended even though I am convinced this is gonna happen → THE ULTIMATE SYDCARMY TABLE SCENE).

On a more serious note, the only correct way to put an end to any type of transference in a therapeutic environment, in case that's the chosen course of action, is to put all the cards on the table and elaborate on the motivations, till the REAL MOTIVATIONS come up, as they never do at first.

The client has to realize ON THEIR OWN that their transferred feelings are nothing but representations of their inner feelings and are not occurring as a result of their relationship with the therapist but rather as an unconscious mechanism that enables them NOT TO DEAL with a subjacent CONFLICT that is being AVOIDED, once that conclusion is reached, the next step is to work on the reasons why that conflict is being avoided and what does the patient want to do about it. Do they wish to continue avoiding it? Why? What would be the implications of that status quo? Are they willing to deal with them? Is it wise? Is it just simpler? What if the opposite choice is made? Why would that be the case? What would be the implications of that? What can be gained and lost in the process or in the aftermath of it? In any case: What is required to go through with any of these potential courses of action? Does the patient currently have what is required? If that's not the case: Why not? Could they get it? How? Why wasn't that done before? Why now? Etc... The therapist has to become less of a “blank screen” and more interactive with the patient. There has to be a back-and-forth. It's a whole process.

That process is incredibly difficult in Carmy's case because the C person is not his therapist, doesn't have to or wants to follow a code of conduct, wouldn't know how to go about this whole process even if she did, and most importantly: Is in love with him.

Are we screwed?

No.

How come?

Because thank dog there's a Chaos menu on the table.

Can we just focus on the CHAOS MENU, PLEASE!?!?!

The chaos that constantly haunts Carmy is → THE MENU. Not the "peace".

And the menu is his link to Sydney and all she represents for him.

I have been saying this since before S3, and S3 has only confirmed my assumptions → Their menu is their red string.

They will have to at some point have a real conversation about the menu, not just a quick exchange of feedback about the daily rotation in between services.

The chaos will fall into place at some point so they can keep the restaurant open, win a star, etc.

Also, the conversation/closure with the C person will have to happen at some point too, next season.

So the cards will have to be put on the table, sooner or later.

Later is what the song foreshadowed and in Save it for later I trust (prefer Vedder's version).

Bonus track: THE SYDLUCA TRAP. Syd is following the same path. Mirroring Carmy. She's in the process to start sexually transferring her undealt-with sexual desires for Carmy to Luca.

Whilst I fully support this as a temporary fix and a plot device that can give us a few pretty interesting eps where Carmy becomes a jelly bomb and therefore is forced to stop denying what he truly feels for Syd, as I explained here, I can't support this behavior in the long run because as any transfer, it is UNHEALTHY for all parties involved. Sydluca is a plot device that needs to be handled with care because it can very well end up becoming a comfort zone that is nothing but a trap that will only serve one purpose: "compensation". That which cannot be experienced with whom she truly wants to experience it will be experienced with a substitute figure, and eventually, no matter how well this replacement goes, the constant ghost of: "What if" will haunt her because she has already gotten to this point with Carmy:

So now it's too late to compensate healthily and just move on. It would bring nothing but heartache in the long run. If Luca had come along sooner into Syd's life, the story would be very different. Same with C. But TIMING MATTERS. If I know this, I'm pretty sure Storer and Calo know it too, so I choose not to be worried about it.

Remember to follow my tag #Gingerpovs 💋

[horanghoe]

until it hurts a little less - part 2.II

MAIN MASTERLIST /// TXT MASTERLIST /// IMAGE MASTERPOST UIHALL [FIRST IN SERIES] /// [UIHALL - PART 2.I HERE.......]

group: TXT

pairing: Yeonbin (Yeonjun & Soobin) x Reader (Fem perspective)

genre: hybrid, angst, fluff, heavy smut, minors dni !!

word count: 39k / split into 2 posts

T/W’s : under the line

A HUGE THANK YOU TO MY FRIENDS & BETA READERS ~ Saffron & @pyeonghongrie & all of MTG and especially the furry babes: @slightlymore @raibebe @starlitmark @wooahaeproductions [extra credit for the above mb!! tysm beeeeeee] @atiny-piratequeen <3 & anyone else I have tortured with brain rot and updates

AUTHORS NOTES - Wow. Thank you everyone for your patience. This has been many many months of chipping away at a small idea to make it into a now infamous [among friend circles] 40k hybrid fic. This draft has gone through a breakup, different jobs, and different living scenarios, phew! Following from the kitty Beomgyu saga the series now dives into new and hot Yeonbin dynamics. I look forward to feedback & interest in a small cuddle pile epilogue and editing of old works to bring them up to date. Lots of love, Wren 🦝💗

Music to listen to while reading ♡ (in no particular order)

My Oh My - Camilla Cabello FT. DaBaby

Stuck In The Middle With You - Stealers Wheel

Beast Of Burden - The Rolling Stones

Whole Lotta Love - Led Zeppelin

I Want You to Want Me - Cheap Trick

No Strings Attached (Enemies to Lovers) - Backseat Vagabond

Feel free to suggest others! :>

♡ Trigger Warnings ♡

voyeurism [aka sex in a public place], intimate scenes in an open late-night diner, a third watches with consent and an invite but is named perversive for comedic effect, submissive reader, female POV reader, AFAB reader, female pronouns & genitalia descriptives, occasional degrading words/actions with active consent, height kink, size kink, slight dacryphilia scene, crying [out of the context of sex], mention of unfulfilling ex-partners, sex in the rain(?), mention of blood, sub-mode or trusting others to make decisions after sex [safe, loving, no fear here but do need to warn], choking [mild, not to the point of harm].

hybrid content such as scenting marking and knotting; themes of possessiveness and alllll the animalistic features from that.

All of the above are willing and consenting for every party present (apart from Bangchan/diner staff). If you cannot stomach voyeurism, skip about halfway and you can still enjoy the last half of the fiction. :]

Soobin took the driver's seat - Yeonjun sat, slouched, in the passenger seat of the car as agreed - shrugging off his jacket to throw into the back seat. The fox batted it past him, above you, and onto the floor. 

Boys.

Yeonjun had to breathe from his mouth upon entering. He had hissed under his breath and thoroughly resisted the urge to growl at Soobin, instead pulling his ears back while the insanely sweet smell of your wet cunt against the leather seat underneath him from hours before, and Soobin’s natural scenting of heavy cedarwood, dampened his own much lighter citrusy one. 

Much like an animal; scents worked to establish things like hierarchy, health, sex, age and physical standing within a space, for a hybrid. 

So to enter such a heavily-marked one and lose his own presence and stature in the process was quite disarming. 

Not to mention you were ovulating and smelt like God's nectar; at peak time to be bred, which he intended to take full advantage of.

It was a relatively clean car. Actually, it was very clean, considering you had only ever been in a car with 3 other males of varying states. You didn’t particularly make a habit of it, but life had worked out so that the counter now ticked up to 5.

What you didn’t pick up on, was the air con being clicked down to low, or the burning eyes that the boys gave each other. 

Yeonjun stopped it from going lower than 1 - to flush out the suffocating smells that made his cock throb already - Soobin meanwhile, remained intent on hotboxing until everybody was marked by him. Even the fox. 

A spark flew between their eyes for a brief moment, but in the back, alone with thoughts wondering, you tried to break the silence, none-the-wiser.

“So - where are we going?” Your shaken from nerves, but positively excited voice called out from behind. 

It felt small in such a big car. 

Like you were speaking openly in a cathedral. Your voice bounced back at you and made you cringe in its wake. You weren’t sure your presence was appreciated in this space yet.

You shouldn’t talk - the nerves said. You should only listen here.

Soobin peered at you in the mirror, offering a dimpled smile. You eased, if only a little. Shoulders shrugging forward.

“Wherever you want, gorgeous.” 

Warmed at the softness in his husked voice, you bashfully looked away from the mirror. 

It had started to rain. Pat pat pitter pat. Soobin rolled his window from half-mast to completely closed and started the car. 

Gentle heat - again, hands swatted to set it to increasingly low levels until it rested at level 2; warm but not suffocating - started to blow from small vents in the lush interior doors.

“Ooo - cosy.” Yeonjun yipped happily - in amusement, but mostly sarcastically - to himself.

Soobin rolled his eyes. Quickly snatching the cigarette pack from Yeonjun's busy foxish hands and stuffed them in his door.

“No smoking in my car either, you nasty street fox. I just got it cleaned.”

Yeonjun made an offended noise, yipping something about losing his lifeline, how he never got it cleaned for him, before crossing his arms and slouching further in a pathetic display of defeat.

“You’re quiet back there.” Yeonjun shot, gruffly, to the back of the car, peering behind the seat… Like a kid who just had his iPad taken away so now he had to talk to the other passengers. Reluctantly. “You made your mind up yet where you wanna go, doll?”

Truly, it was a front. 

He was restless and wanted to move away from this place to stop the ache in his chest and cock. 

Plus, your nerves were starting to bother him. 

You weren’t innocent per se, but you were an anxious prey type in need of calming, in the most physical and overriding sense. He could taste it on his tongue - maybe not as strongly as Soobin - but he was bothered by the sourness.

Four eyes drew to you in the silence.

Two from the ceiling mirror, blown wide. Two from the seat in front pinched tight.

“I don’t - I don’t - umm…” You froze, muttering uselessly before a shrug fell from you, and you writhed your hands between your knees. 

“You sure you wanna do this, Y/N?” Yeonjun questioned, carefully, with suspiciously squinted eyes. “If you wanna pull out, now’s the time to do so.”

“Yeah, I umm -” You cleared your throat. 

Squeezing your fists between your thighs, and your thighs to your fist. 

The idea of being watched, smelt, tasted, touched by these men - it was fucking you up to the point of not being able to think.

“I’m pretty sure. Yeah, I err - I think so. Yeah.”

You puffed a breath, heart hammering against your ribs. Touching your warm face and looking down to pick at your nails. 

“I want it. You. Two. You two.”

Soobin smiled to himself. Yeonjun was going to eat you up with all that coyness on full display. Soobin found it cute but knew his friend to be a little more… depraved in his tendencies. And it's true, his friend's heart pounded as his cock did. 

Soobin was a little better at making decisions for his pets, though.

“Do you want us to pick a place, little one?” Soobin asked, voice and eyes low. “Or can you be a good pet and answer our question?”

Well, Soobin had never referred to you as his pet before. And especially not in such a soft-dom way. You didn’t know how much of an effect it would have on you. 

“I’m not - I don’t know -” You tugged a little on the seatbelt across your chest, breathless. “Can we even - can we fit in this car? Can we even do that?”

Yeonjun grinned. 

“Depends how much of a rush you’re in, doll. In the car, on the car, around it. We could go back to ours? Or tag team in a hotel. Break back on the hood. And we can’t get you pregnant - as much as we’d love that - so it’s not like we need to go anywhere first. All depends on you, gorgeous.”

You shot him a glance. Only a very quick one. A bad idea for you. 

The fox had turned on the console to face you. His eyes were a burning orange, like the outside of his ears, the black in the low light swallowed by the dimming evening. He was beautiful, asking you a question, staring at you directly; and you were stunned.

You instantly shot your chin to your chest, shaking it. Forced to squeeze your hands to the seat to calm yourself against the blood pumping in your ears. 

You forced yourself to speak. Imploding at the pressure.

“The cars good!” You squeaked. “I just - I don’t know where!!”

Yeonjun laughed fully, small chitters sounding. He shuffled to sit upright and turn back into his seat, only to slide down just as Soobin slipped into gear and began rolling out onto the main road, away from the diner.

“Good job baby.” The dog grumbled, concentrating on driving. “Don’t worry, I know a place.”

“We know a place.” Yeonjun corrected. “Get comfy pet, it’s a bit of a drive.”

You puffed out a huge exhale. Lungs burning and dizzy as you melted into the seat. 

It took mere seconds for Yeonjun to note the shaking of your skin against the cool leather. 

He tugged Soobin’s jacket up off the floor and placed it on you with a wink. Before removing his outer sweater without a word, but patting it over your lap as you gratefully held it over the goosebumps. 

Surrounded by them.

Bathing in the calm, before the storm.

“We’re here,” Soobin announced to the group, after a solid half hour of fast-winding mountaintop driving between trees and sea. “Still raining. No one here as usual.”

You had pulled into what seemed to be a campsite parking lot. Probably only used in the summer; as parking wasn’t charged during the winter, according to the big red signs against nearby trees.

“You ready beautiful?” Yeonjun had smiled, his head back against the seat and watching you as you looked out the window. His voice was low, ears dipped along with his eyes. “Still nervous?”

You were nervous, but fighting it to the best of your ability. 

“Yeah - I am, a little. I’m not sure why. I trust you though, just… Something has me on edge, is all...”

Yeonjun's tongue went to the corner of his mouth in a smile.

He knew why. You were stuck in a confined space with two predators. One of them had already smothered his scent glands in your neck all evening. The other, more orange one, was aching to do the same.

He found it adorable that you hadn't yet joined the dots; or got to the stage of understanding your instincts.

“Well, I'm glad you feel comfortable enough around us to do this. ‘Bout time for you to come sit in the front, hmm?”

Your body flushed with heat, chin dipping. Yeonjun yipped a small harmless laugh. He leaned over the console with his languid torso to catch your downcast eyes.

“Come on. I don’t bite sweetheart.” He smiled. “Not a fan of breaking glass, after all. Come on, it will be fun. We stop whenever you want. Alright?”

You nodded, bracing yourself for the cold and wet sky with a puff of air before diving out the door on the driver's side and running around. The boys both clicked their seats back, and as the cold air hit his body Yeonjun held open the door and wilfully manspread to allow you room to climb over him in the space.

Although it was a little awkward to fit; you managed to bend at an angle and shuffled into the front passenger seat atop Yeonjun with altogether surprising ease. Your head hadn’t even hit the ceiling yet. Nor had you crushed the male beneath you as you feared you might. 

Then again, this car was rather tall. And long.

For a moment you were still rushing with the adrenaline you felt in the back seat. But very quickly, you realised what position you had found yourself in - agreed to, suggested - and you flushed hot under the skin.

The door closed with a clack. And suddenly there was no more room to breathe.

Within an instant, you became wary of every single movement. 

You weren’t in the safety of your comfy back-view anymore. 

No. 

Now, you were face to face with the fox. Your knees pressed to the seat between his legs, snug between the thighs that stretched taut from the pull of his crotch. He was tall, even when laying down. 

You weren’t sure where to put your hands. Or where to look. You placed them on his chest, on the seat; either way was suffocating-ly close. As you wavered above him, Yeonjun smirked. And lifted in his reclined position, cornering you on the roof of the car with wide eyes and a racing heart.

“You smell like a bunch of nerves, gorgeous. I like my cherries sweet before I eat them.”

It was a statement, not a question. And a provocative one at that. His breath washed over your face and you weren’t sure where to look. Your lungs burned from such tension until you could do nothing but stare down into his chest. 

“Breathe, Y/N.” A deep voice rattled beside you. “You’re okay.” 

You inhaled quickly, gasping some short breaths at Soobin's command. 

His eyes were dipped. And he was palming himself through constricting jeans. Your chest squeezed at the thought of him jumping your bones. And while you weren’t aware of it, the guys had started to ground you in more unfamiliar ways.

“Thank you, Binnie.” You mumbled, thankful, if a little dizzy. Still unsure where to look.

As you turned to the driver's side to thank the Pinscher, Yeonjun took aptly the opportunity to ease you into him; and found purchase on your skin. 

“Come here, my skittish little Doe.”

At first, you did resist. Mostly out of nerves.

But it soon became impossible. His pull was intoxicating; and you wanted them both, regardless of the nerves fluttering in your belly.

Yeonjun's tongue swirled hot and heavy against your ear. Biting and sucking at the soft skin of your jawline. And the moan that fell from your lips as he licked and sucked a hickey over the one he had placed before was carnal. 

It provoked a weakness in your knees that caused you to fall onto him. Like a dove falling from flight.

He caught the curve of your ass with a strong forearm, flexing his thigh to keep you up and sitting on top of him, knees pressing into the console. Your mini-skirt had pulled up high and you were just about keeping your eyes open.

Soobin groaned; infatuated with how quickly Yeonjun had pulled you apart at the seams.

“Pretty deer; no wonder you’re so scared of me.” Yeonjun purred into your skin, catching it between his teeth, “I couldn’t get this close to you in the diner. You've been smothered by a wet. Fucking. Dog.” 

Soobin growled protectively. And curled his lip in distaste. 

"Good. If you don't like it, you should scent her."

"Working on it." Yeonjun grit back.

Yeonjun licked a stripe up your neck in repeated slow lengths until he landed on your pulse. 

When you moaned and he felt the pump pump against his tongue muscle; he grinned wide, testing with a soft suck. You keened, almost breathless, and gripped onto his arm for support. 

“Found it.”

For a split second; you panicked. Aware that he could bite into and tear out your jugular with ease as such a fine specimen of a hybrid. 

Instead of his grip on your stomach growing tight, he simply gripped the hair at the base of your skull, guiding you back until your neck was revealed.

Yeonjun wasted no time in babying you as the pheromones hit his nose; instead, he set to work and nursed a newer bruise over the one already blooming behind your jaw; trailing down to your shoulder. 

He paused to lift your arms, gripping them gently to drag your small shirt off and wrap an arm over the curve of your back; secure and grounding. While he palmed at your chest with his free hand; hard nipple making you flinch as he rolled it over his palm.

You felt a little uneasy but tried so badly to ignore it. Reaching for his hand and linking your fingers. “Relax, baby ~” He purred into your ear; licking and biting at your jawline until your cunt throbbed, jaw slack and eyes fighting the close of ecstasy. “You’re so safe ~”

He considered for a moment what it was he was doing. 

What it meant for him, to scent you.

But just as quickly he dismissed his doubts; pushing the crown of his head and his ears against your throat and chest while he gently chittered. Rubbing his cheek onto your hot skin and over your shoulders. His eyes closed, and he was so gentle for you that it made your heart ache. 

Relaxing slowly into him; you slid your fingers into his hair to hold him there and rest your face on his hair. He hummed; running his lips over your collarbone. And chittered at your exhaled sigh, pulling back to see your face.

He was pleased with what he saw.

"Feeling better gorgeous?" Yeonjun checked in, dotingly. 

He swiped a hair behind your ear and neck to leave sharp-toothed kisses in his wake. He was becoming a little more messy with his kisses, now that he knew you could handle it. 

“A little more relaxed? Less on edge? Less afraid of me?"

You moaned a soft nod, accepting the kiss from the corner of your eye. "Mmhmm…" You groaned. And rested your forehead on his. 

“Junnie ~,” Yeonjun practically purred at your breathy moans, nose and lips still pressed against your skin. “I feel so much better.” His arms drew around your back, pulling your belly flush to him while he held you.

Your bodies were warm together, and the air hung thick like fog on a wet stormy day to the point that you had to open-mouth breathe just to get some air into you. Not to mention your brain felt like mush. And the windows - they were fogged thick.

“F-f-f-fuck -” You managed. 

You groaned softly and tried to shake the haze out of your mind. But it didn’t seem to budge. 

“What is this-? How did the two of you-? When-?”

You couldn’t formulate the words. But it was okay. He knew what you meant. Knew that you were asking about the heaviness in your lungs. The aching you had probably started feeling. The deep throbbing in your cunt that wet your thong at an abhorrently fast pace.

“Scented you, angel. Like Soob said; it should help with the nerves.” Yeonjun faux bit at the spot; canines scraping at your skin as he sucked tactfully. You moaned, keening towards him. 

He released all too soon; “Now both Soobin and I have a share. And you shouldn’t feel so anxious near me. Maybe even -” 

You were sure if the devil could speak it would be through the lips of Choi Yeonjun.

“- you should relax. Let me take care of you, doll.” 

Yeonjun smirked, a tooth caught on his bottom lip. He didn’t need to hear you speak, though he gave you a moment to try. The silence answered him plenty. Your legs had started to rub together for something to touch your throbbing cunt. And a hand soon found purchase cupping you over your underwear, hard-on pressed to your ass and thigh after the fox angled his hips upward.

You moaned, watching as Soobin's eyes drew to the hand slipping beneath your skirt. Before holding Yeonjun’s arm that pressed a palm against your core. You pressed down against it gratefully; sighing at the pressure that struck pleasure within your bones. 

“Junnie-” You found yourself moaning openly, with no shame in sight. Just as they liked. You whimpered for more.

Yeonjun's arm flexed in response; long fingers pressed at the wet fabric of your opening over the fabric of your underwear; only to slip his hand down further, then drag the edge of his palm back up; lip bit and watching your face as you pooled into his body. Your eyes had squeezed shut, mouth agape and moaning openly. 

“God, you’re so pretty.” He groaned, meeting the dazed eyes that turned to him. 

Your whole body practically twitched when he dragged up your clit. Cupping the jaw that reached for his face, the kiss instantly matched in intensity while you scrambled to find purchase. He pulled his hand down to drag upward and press against your clit again, and your moan caught in your throat.

“Kiss me, pretty girl.” He purred, small yips sounding from his chest. And so you did. Moving to place your forearm on his chest, meeting him for the deepest kiss yet. Encapsulated by him, until you parted and drool pooled onto his shirt. 

Yeonjun wiped your mouth, before grabbing you again, right as he pushed up hard against your cunt and dragged. You cried out, moaning into the kiss and gyrating on his palm.

Soobin was ready to burst. But God he loved you far too much to bust just yet. Instead; he did the next best thing. 

The zip and release pop of the popper that sounded beside you snapped you out of the kiss; Yeonjun tugged you up and manhandled you to press against your belly; ass to his crotch, your back to his chest and mouth attached to your neck. Small in his hold.

Soobin groaned, his lips twitching and ears pulled back. Finally, he sighed. His hand wrapped firmly around the base of his cock, releasing from the jeans with a few firm pumps. Lip bit and head rolling back with a firm groan. 

At the same time; Yeonjun's palms gripped and massaged your chest. Teasing your nipples with gentle then heavy drags.

His nose prodded at your cheek as you squirmed, forcing you to look at Soobin - as if you hadn’t been maintaining tension for what felt like hours already. 

“Sit pretty for me doll.” 

Yeonjun chuckled in a husk into your ear; sweat beading on his forehead at the struggle - both at the attempt to maintain control and the bicep strapped over your hips to keep you from moving - biting at you with a tongue-pressed devilish grin. His other hand moved to press down on your pubic bone. Not close enough. A lick into your ear made you moan. 

Soobin thrust with a deep groan into his fist, thighs tensing and in his own private mental arena. But your head had begun to throb. And it coincided with every pump of his cock. You would have put together the pieces, were it not for you being deep into a foggy mindset.

Not that you had any complaints. This felt good.

“Binnie -” You moaned aloud and at length with an open mouth, head thrown back from Yeonjun's heavy petting into the crook of his neck. 

The boys smirked. Particularly Soobin. 

Nothing could have prepared you for the impression felt as his dimples pressed his cheeks and he shook his hair, tongue caught in the side of his mouth. 

Being a young hybrid in his prime, a true example of health; his power in the car combined with Yeonjun's made your brain and cunt throb desperately. 

“Open the window, you Dog,” Yeonjun smirked at his friend, playfully twisting your nipple between his fingers; pressing his cheek and nose to your jaw. “Be careful or you’ll end up flushing her out.”

You had heard that term before when speaking to a nurse about hybrid females. When they’re scented to the point of their own temporarily disappearing, a hybrid becomes infatuated and malleable. Their equivalent to a sub-space.

Soobin's dimples deepened. “Good.” And set pace. “I want our little pet to feel it in her guts when I cum.”

He lay back, with his fist wrapped around his base and the other holding his balls, to thrust with grunts at the fastest pace you had maybe ever seen, tongue caught on his teeth. 

He was doing it to make a point. To show you that the pressing presence you had been feeling on the edges of your being, was very real. That if he wanted you to come, you would. If either of them wanted you to fall apart, they could make it happen.  

A wave of carnal desire; a pure hunger you didn’t know you were able to experience; overcame you so suddenly and so violently that your bones started to shake. Never had you been this eager to fuck. Didn’t think it was possible. 

“Wa- fu- fu - fuck, please, I wanna cum, I wanna cum so bad -” You just about cried out in plea to the fox; grip on Yeonjun's bicep under your arm almost painful.

Quickly, Yeonjun slipped a hand into your panties - using a small apology of ‘sorry, I guess forget the warmup’ and slipped his gifted-ly long fingers to slip 2-thick in a curl up to your belly, the edge of his palm swiping over your clit delightfully heavy - and reached for the window with the other, slipping it down halfway.

It didn’t take Soobin long to cum.

The sound of Yeonjun's hands slapping sloppily, palm-to-soaked-cunt, and your debauched and corrupted moans and whimpers, along with your exposed chest from all your writhing, sent Soobin on a spin. Cock thick and leaking from beginning to end.

You weren’t doing too good yourself. 

In fact; you were doing amazing.

Placated only by Yeonjun yowling gently, holding you to him and shushing against your neck. He did his best - aka, the best - to ground you. He chittered at your needy, dumb-fucked mind. Allowing you to sit up to thrust down onto his hand.

The smell of rain began to enter the car; the concern of dampness flashed across your mind before Soobin moaned.

“Ah - fuck, Y/N - fuck - you feel that?” He was near his peak, and Yeonjun couldn’t stop himself from biting his lip to moan as you essentially got yourself off on his fingers; over his long cock snug up between his jeans and your ass. 

You nodded, desperately grinding for a release, tears wet in desperation on your cheek. 

“Fuck - gonna come baby girl. You want it? Pretty girl wanna come? I could wait -”

“I want - I want it - wanna - cum - want - it-” 

The final begging pushed him over the edge. Humping atop his friend like a rabbit.

Soobin groaned, hips stuttering into three more solid pumps as you squeezed your legs shut, lying back without breathing as Yeonjun pumped his fingers as a curl with loud slaps until your cunt dripped white on his jeans. You cried out at the exact moment Soobin came in his fist, tears on your cheeks and fist white on Yeonjun's arm. Not unlike the endless amount of cum that spat from between Soobin’s knuckles, onto his legs.

If there’s one thing you did know; it’s that when hybrids cum, they cum a lot.

Your body was hot. Hips twitching and mind spiralling. Your cunt squeezed Yeonjun's fingers until they were taken out, circling the entrance until you whined, a big glob of a tear falling down your cheek in ecstasy.

“Well done, you did good,” Yeonjun hushed you. 

You didn’t react, head dizzy and grip weak. 

You flopped down onto Yeonjun's chest, willingly, to pant like you had just run a fucking mile. 

"Ngh - Junnie -"

"Take it easy, gorgeous. Catch your breath."

Both your foreheads knocked together into his kisses to bathe in some love as you recovered, head buzzing and cunt full. Eyes closed and breathing shallow. 

Soobin's movement flickered Yeonjun's ear against the seat, whooshing air into your face. He had been quiet; observing.

He grabbed, messily, a fistful of dry wipes to clean his hands with. Never particularly keen on his own cum ending up on his lips.

“Stupid mutt.” The fox hissed, still nuzzling your hair. Listening to your puttered moans and sighs. “Hope you feel better after that? Almost flushed her out completely. Then how would she of fucked? Poor thing. How do you know she even wanted that?”

Soobin peered over, post clarity striking some guilt into his chest when he was met with the vision of your fist curled into your lips and face hidden onto his friend's chest.

The rain picked up enough for Soobin to roll up Yeonjun's window from his side.

The dog scoffed, and flipped the band of his boxers back up over his cock, for the meantime. He adjusted in his seat, stretching his upper back and jaw. Satiated. Rolling his neck back on the headrest to glare, eyes low, into Yeonjun.

“She wanted it. Trust me.”

He ruffled his fringe, in the pulled-down front mirror, eyes meeting yours to the side.

“Didn’t you gorgeous?”

He tilted his head at an angle, ears flopped to the ground. He squinted at you, gauging your mood. Smile careful.

You smiled against your fingers. Instantly matched by the tongue at the corner of the hound's mouth; dimples deep as he leaned back into his seat. 

"See." Soobin chuckled. Tongue to the edge of his smile. "Baby wants it, hmm? Wants her mind to be fucked until she feels like jelly?"

You nodded. And smiled behind your hand as wide as Soobin did.

Yeonjun's glare softened and he chittered gently when you rose; elbows to his chest.

“What are you up to; pretty Doe?” The fox purred. Playful suspicion was written all over his face, tail curling around your knee. Ears back.

But you just bashfully blinked your wet eyelashes at him; and held his shoulders to grind down slowly; at the exact same time as you kissed him and pulled away. You did it again. And again, and again. Each slow, heavy drop paired with a messy, dragging kiss.

Yeonjun groaned loudly, tongue to his gum in annoyance. A muscle in his jaw ticked; a reaction you had never seen from him before. 

You rested your weight down to grind in quick motions; wetting his lap as his fingers dug into your thighs.

His eyes squinted, pupils thin as slits. 

Yeonjun gave you a sore and open-palmed warning swipe up and against your thigh; hissing at you through grit teeth.

“Keep teasing me and you’ll get a bite on your throat, dumb little pet.” 

His sharp, low voice made you smile; you were enthralled. Nerves tingling like electricity beneath your skin.

Claim marks were permanent issues of trust; a literal bite into one's skin. The idea of leaving one so obviously front-facing was abhorrent and filthy, and it suited him.

You smiled against your hand, giggling. Biting at the knuckle of your ring finger as he bucked up. Soobin smiled at you lovingly as you fell into Yeonjun's chest; cunt pressed to his crotch. He held your hips there for a moment; biting at your exposed shoulder, keeping you giddy and scent-high as he tactfully shuffled his jeans down; no underwear in sight as you bit your lip.

“You ready to get fucked dumb, our precious little fawn?” Yeonjun mumbled, then kissed your cheek; not opposed to your face hiding from him. Nose in your hair. Palming your ass so that your slick covered his cock and your thong caught between skin.

You couldn’t stop grinding; clit rubbing against his large cock and coating his length in slick. Breath small and panting. Your nipples were so sensitive between his pinched fingers; the back of your neck tingling with warmth.

“Junnie - Yes - Want it -” You moaned, eyebrows low and knuckles in your mouth, consumed. Relying on him completely.

A hand gripped your scalp; your head was tugged backwards.

“Mind if I take those panties, pet?” Soobin smirked. "Just need to do a little health check." 

The hand belonged to Soobin.

He didn’t actually want them; nor was he entirely bothered by your seemingly okay health - at least at first - he just wanted to see you shy away. 

He was getting hard again already; seeing you manhandled. And released your hair upon your nod.

He really could do a health check anyway, so what was the harm?

You nodded, moaning as Yeonjun sucked at your nipple; “Here -” Yeonjun mumbled, and gripped under your skirt from behind to begin tearing at the fabric. It took three solid rips to unhook you; soaking fabric caught by Soobin with a slop. 

Immediately, his face buried into it. You shivered at the air that hit your cunt; aware that the two of them were gifted, but surprised by the length that met you as you ground down again.

A deep, guttural growl rattled the seat beside you. And the vibrations made your muscles ripple; hips lifted via Yeonjun's grip on your waist alone; cock swiped against your dripping thighs and entrance before pressing up and into you. 

You lost your breath immediately; choking on moans as the head of his cock pressed into your warmth, a deep stretch and ache pulling towards your belly as Yeonjun sunk your hips patiently; head back against the headrest and eyes barely open.

“You better fuck her deep, and slow,” Soobin growled; eyes blown fearfully wide and teeth grit. Nose firmly inside the dripping fabric gripped in his hand; “Little fawn came to us for help on her first rut season.”

"I knew it." Yeonjun groaned. Gritting his teeth to speak. “She’s been sick and needy the entire day.”

It’s true; you had been. Fiending for attention. Grasping at them whenever you could. Burning up from beneath the skin. Sick with lust.

You sat up more; whimpering as Soobin's growls caused your entire mind to fuzz over; leaving little resistance to Yeonjun's thick, curved cock to tilt, slick dripping down his thigh. By the time you sat to the hilt; you were practically drooling.

“Stupid kitty didn’t even tell you it was happening, did he, gorgeous?” Soobin snarled. You shook your head quickly, whimpering. 

“It - we fucked through the first one, but - he said - it might come back -”

The fox wrapped his arms around your waist and held you against him with impressive strength. Pulling you to sit up higher than before. 

Yeonjun was snug in your gut, but neither wanted to proceed before checking in with you first. 

His heart pattered at the thought of you coming to them for help. More selfishly him. 

“Do you feel sick at all?” Yeonjun asked; voice incredibly gruff; holding you still. You eased into his arms; elbows over his shoulders and hands in his hair. “Any pain? Anywhere?” 

“No, Junnie.” You whimpered; shifting as he pressed a kiss to your collarbone. “I just feel so needy -”

The dog chuckled. “No wonder you've been smelling like a fucking candy shop, angel.” 

Yeonjun groaned, gripping you even closer with his biceps. “Quit squeezing me so hard for a sec doll; this is important.”

You closed your eyes, breath laboured and a warm pleasure seeped into your stomach. But you tried your best to listen and relax, for him.

“Soob - please take over. The babe’s cunt is squeezing me so tight I can't think straight.” 

Yeonjun pleaded; tone tight while he spoke.

“You’re in good hands now. Just try and listen carefully, okay?” He whispered, before sighing and burying his face into your chest. Holding on with every fibre in his being. You rested on top of his head; thumbing at the inside of his soft ears. Fuzzy and warm at his beautiful scent being so close to your face.

The dog held the underwear to his face one last time on a solid inhale before moving it only the slightest bit away.

“Do you know anything about Doe rut cycles, Y/N?” He questioned. Low, calm. 

Of course, you shook your head. And Soobin growled.

Soobin grew annoyed. Annoyed that he had to explain something so vitally important while you sat there so pretty; full of cock and trying your best to listen. Annoyed now that Beomgyu’s selfishness had reached beyond their initial sphere of influence. Annoyed that his friend had truly done the bare minimum to care for you, through the transition and out the other end.

“I’m sure you and Beom fucked recently, right?”

You moaned wistfully; a yes. 

“And it felt good; maybe better than ever before?”

“Y-yes Junnie…” You whispered, gasping as Yeonjun adjusted in his seat.

“Good job paying attention, gorgeous.” Soobin chuckled gently and grumbled a content growl. You were really trying; despite your body likely being furnace-heat and mind full of nothing but the want to be full of cum. You openly moaned at the praise.

“But it wasn’t enough? No matter what; you just couldn’t hit that spot?”

Another nod. Bashful, this time. Soobin's mind wandered, briefly. Images of you unable to satisfy yourself; no doubt sniffed out by such an incompetent fool. 

“Right. It only gets triggered once a year for you, thankfully. But a Doe’s cycle will repeat until they feel bred enough. You’ll feel like this until you get fucked dumb, little fawn. And you want it, don’t you angel? Want Junnie to come in you, fuck you slow - want me to plough you until you can’t feel those legs anymore, hmm?”

Yeonjun was, at this point, smiling in humour against your skin. Wicked in mind as your body struck the hottest he’s felt yet. Cunt tight and like a furnace around him. You were breathless. And you nodded with urgency.

“Yeah - I do Binnie, I do -”

The dog chuckled, fabric back to his nose. 

“For that kind of fucking; well… You’ve come to the right hybrids.” 

Yeonjun smirked. “Damn right.”

“That want you have, that pulsing desire seeps off of your body until one of us smells it.” Soobin groaned; fluttering his eyes shut for a second, before continuing. “The reason we would want to place a claim on such a pretty little thing. Is so you don’t get hurt. Or hunted. It’s a bond more permanent than love, Y/N. And a massive step to take.”

“I know -” You moaned; eyebrows creased. Yeonjun peered up; placing soothing biting kisses to the scent-marks on your pulse. He was becoming sensitive to your unease. “- I want it badly, Binnie. Want you both, Binnie… Wanted it since April… Since last year…”

Last April - when you had been turned. That meant that the connections between you all; had indeed been deeper than a crush. Soobin puffed a sympathetic whine. He felt your need, as much as Yeonjun did. Sharp ears dipped low.

“Since last April, sweetheart? You’ve been waiting on us all that time?” The dog mumbled, his voice dipped in a vulnerability that was as rare as gold to see.

“Mmhm…” You nodded desperately; eyes watery as your emotions dipped out. Yeonjun nuzzled you; arms tight to not tease any movements; ears folded the entire time. And you held onto his strong shoulders. “I- I love you both...” Overwhelmed by the emotions that you - all - had buried and tucked away for months. So desperate to move you felt dizzy. Slick now seeping down Yeonjun's thighs and onto his seat. 

Soobin watched you for a moment. It was so obvious now that he felt a fool. 

“You ready to make that kind of commitment, June?” The Doberman whispered, softly. “It's sudden. We don't know if it'll work out.”

“Like nothing before.” The fox confirmed; teeth grit in concentration. “It will. We'll make sure of it.”

“Good. You’ve got us both, little fawn. As long as you want us.”

You felt like crying. Ready to burst at the seams. Panting.

“Please Binnie… I need to cum… Please…” 

Soobin laughed, coming back from his mental distraction; “Good job. You can move now angel.”

It didn’t take you more than a second to start moving. 

You were simply stuffed full; head full, mouth agape. Shifting; grinding; cunt tight and heartbeat strong against Yeonjun’s cock. Your puttered sighs grew desperate as he simply held you upright. Allowing you to ride out the need for friction.

Every lift and grinding down of your hips was small in movement; more for you than him. But your cunt was flexing tight and a warmth in your muscles told him exactly how soon you were going to cum.

“So soon?” One, sharp, angled orange eye glared up at you from the nose pressed to your skin. You felt exposed. Like he could see through to your guts. 

He lifted your jaw to kiss under your chin, grip still solid on your hips. 

“Precious, needy, little cock-dumb fawn ready to burst already?”

“Yeah,” You nodded, moaning with a gasp and warmth spreading through your stomach and thighs; eyes closed and melting into Yeonjun as he curved your back with his forearms; nuzzling at your chest. 

“I need it, I’m s-so full -” You gasped, fingers gripping his shoulders as he held you down; jaw wide and sharp points against your collarbone. “Please, Junnie, feels so good -”

The fox purred, and you gasped a moan, a shiver striking down your spine and a tightness spreading through your pelvis. He had dipped; before thrusting a minimal amount.

“Come apart then, gorgeous.” He hissed, encouraging your hips to grind down on him. And you really were so, so close.

But you were holding out on him. He could tell. 

“What is it? What do you need?”

You moaned at his gruff voice; “Want a mark Junnie… Please, I need it - I want to be yours - want to be Binnie’s - please Junnie, I love you -”

Yeonjun's ears peeled back before his lip curled and irises pinched. He looked feral. Soobin nodded at his friend's side-eye for permission; granted in trust that you were a prize to share. You were warbling but stopped as soon as Yeonjun faced you. 

His look was wicked. 

Adrenaline washed over you and you pushed down until you were full of stars spattering pleasure into the back of your vision. Yeonjun kept your skull in his perfect position.

It was clear the fox was about to stick to his promise.

“Scream for me, little Fawn.”

Your breath caught as Yeonjun dove forward and his canines sunk into the middle of your neck; at the front of your throat. With experience; he had skillfully avoided piercing your jugular. 

Even Soobin tensed for a moment, but ultimately gripped his cock and groaned at the blood that split like rivers on his friends' gums; jaw locked and arms encircling your shaking form. You gripped his scalp and wide shoulders in a wicked embrace and cried out; pain muddling with ecstasy as you came hard, cunt pressing against the length inside of you; shaking, moaning, mind striking white.

To no surprise at the intensity of your orgasm; Yeonjun came as well. Very quickly you felt his cock pulse and he groaned, moaning loudly, holding your hips to jut up into you. He released thick cum in three intense loads; forcing you to move as you orgasmed, sounds lewd and wet inside the car.

Yeonjun pressed filthy wet licks to your exposed throat with a slack jaw, wide tongue and sharp lower teeth digging into your skin. There was quickly drying blood on his teeth and a wild look in his eye. But he was in control; and helped you ride it all out.

You were full of cum and slick; tensing your cunt just to see it push out over his cock and move to fuck it back in.

Your eyes pressed shut and your moans grew loud and broken. A fuzzy warmth spread through your back and thighs until you melted; burying your nose into Yeonjun's hair as he released his hold on your hair and buried his face into your chest.

He embraced you, like a hug.

Soobin growled softly, in love, once Yeonjun had eased - the bond was secured now you were smothered in his scent; nose to his scalp bringing a new sense of comfort - happy to be a part of this new unity. Your eyes fluttered open and you could do naught but make small moans. 

Yeonjun pulled away only once you did; meeting your forehead with his.

The dog hummed, patiently.

“Feel good gorgeous? To finally be stuffed full? Pretty Kit making you cum? Pretty baby-like being claimed?” 

You nodded with a moan, expression bliss-fucked, though a frown settled over your brow.

“Mhmm feels good Binnie…” You mumbled, eyes closed. But your eyebrows were drawn low.

“What is it? You don’t look convinced?” Soobin smiled, with a slight scoff. “I don’t enjoy your silence.”

You shook your head, unable to form the words. It was a warning. But Yeonjun knew. 

His nose trailed up your throat as he released the iron grip on your waist; holding you as you shook. Nose snug under your jaw; he pulled your hips forward then back to slide across his length.

“Ngh - Ah - It feels - like my skin is on fire - ”  

Your tone made Soobin look at his friend with concern. It was a moan of discomfort, and you seemed twitchy.

Truthfully you wanted to hump Yeonun like a rabbit, and you cursed the Gods for giving you such low stamina. If you thought it would have done you any good; you would’ve started panting like a bitch in heat. Oh wait, you were. 

“- my skin is burning, I’m so hot -”

“Our little fawn is in a deep rut,” Yeonjun purred. Protecting you from the dog's mood and accepting the soft knock of your head to his. He kissed your cheek and the corner of your lips delicately.

“Gyu didn’t fuck you well enough at all, did he, pretty girl?”

You shook your head and whimpered.

“She’s burning up,” Yeonjun confirmed to the dog. Tone kind, low, mute. “It’s good you invited me when you did. I don’t think one of us could have ever eased this.”

“The rut?” Soobin grumbled; a nod from the fox confirming the dog’s thoughts as they kept constant tabs on you, now they knew what was at stake. Your body and mind. You were no longer in a state to make decisions; in the most loving sense. And you trusted each other as a trio, entirely.

“When did you last sleep with him, baby?” Yeonjun mumbled, gaining your attention with pinched eyes and words spoken against your lips.

“Last month…” You managed; slurring with a heavy tongue.

"Did he make you cum?" Yeonjun purred; sharp orange eyes unmoving in your vision. 

But you were distracted by his guidance to slowly slide on his cock.

“Pay attention, baby - did he help you feel good?”

"No…" You whimpered. Shaking your head. And you hid your face in his shoulder. Weak. Sensitive. Embarrassed. So needy.

The dog hummed in thought.

“Well then - probably some built-up tension, considering how much slick is on your legs, Jun.” 

You both peered down. Soobin was right. Yeonjun’s thighs were soaked, as if a bottle of lube had dropped out of the heavens and onto his lap. The thicker slick had started mixing with Yeonjun's leaking cock; the pulsing of his head warning of an upcoming knot and squishing the mixed fluids out of you and onto the leather.

“My new seats… You guys are killing me.” The dog sighed, squeezing the fist around his cock with a loud groan.

“Do you want to cum again, love?”  Yeonjun prompted, nuzzling at the cheek that shied away from him. “Fair warning; I’m gonna knot if you keep squeezing me like that.”

You shivered; and quickly nodded, sitting up to hold his shoulders. He guided you on a slow, heavy pace that pumped you full of your own slick and his cum. Squelching filthily; with no resistance at all. 

But Yeonjun’s arms soon grew tired. Plus, he could feel you burning up.

“Turn around for me angel,” Yeonjun spoke; and guided you - dripping on his thighs as you went - to turn in the seat. “Lean on the console, it’s cold; should help with the fever.”

He didn’t need to hear you speak; nor did he expect it now. But your sigh upon resting the hot skin of your torso on the long dashboard was obvious enough. 

Your body melted into the coolness of the smooth surface against your hot skin; eyes closed as you moaned in relief and your hips circled on his cock in the mindless pursuit of pleasure.

“Better?” Yeonjun chuckled. 

You nodded, visibly eased. Face in your arms; moaning with relief on the glass dash.

“God. She looks blown out.” Soobin moaned, noting that you had stopped verbally responding; scent drunk, full and mindless beyond feelings. He guessed Yeonjun's cock had started pulsating by now; and that you were due to start drooling.

“She is.” The fox confirmed with a tick in his jaw. Soobin hummed a growl in response.

You had submitted to them fully. Mind and body. Wanting nothing more than to be fucked full until your bones ached.

“Ready?” Yeonjun prompted. You nodded. He ran his hand down your spine before guiding your hips back; elbows holding you up on the dashboard; hands spread wide but weak to the grip Yeonjun had on your hips, the love handles that you had, controlling your movement without pain.

He pressed the head of his cock to your entrance before tilting your hips forward; then back as you sunk onto him. The pace was slow. And it made your whole body tingle with pleasure. 

Eventually; after a few forward lifts and drags of him guiding you until you had worked to his size better; he let go. And spread his hands over your waist and atop your skirt.

The fox hummed, with a deep groan. “Can I take this off, little fawn? You seem to be holding onto it…”

You missed a beat; shy. 

“Do I need to?” You mumbled, unheard were it not for his hearing. Yeonjun kissed your spine with a slightly troubled frown. He shared a look with Soobin, who looked affected by your words.

Clearly, the two of you knew something he didn’t.

“I’d like to see all of you - beautiful?” Yeonjun mumbled, curiously. Thumbs patient on your heated skin. 

He wasn’t about to force you, but he understood why unwrapping that layer of yourself so quickly into the relationship would feel revealing. But for the bond to stick, it was necessary to get these things out of the way. 

“I love you. And I promise I won’t judge. Probably nothing I haven’t seen before...”

With a shaky exhale you nodded; helping Yeonjun shimmy the half-unzipped skirt up and over your shoulders, now completely bare. Upon leaning back onto the dash; he saw exactly why you had resisted. 

In the space between your hip joints sat a tail; light brown with white underneath. Yeonjun smoothed his hand to the space between your shoulder blades then back down and chittered; ears down once more.

“Nothing I haven’t seen before, pretty girl,” Yeonjun affirmed; smile wide and eyes crescented as you heaved a relieved sigh and relaxed your tense thighs once more. 

“You’re gorgeous; head to toe. Ready?”

You nodded, mostly to yourself, then began moving again. Riding him at a rhythmic, relaxed pace. Torso leaning on the dash. Thighs burning; but immeasurable to the need to move.

A sudden deep warmth spread up your lower spine, pelvis and behind; so sensitive it was almost ticklish. And your cunt gushed at each push of friction. 

“Junnie -?!” You moaned loudly at the unfamiliar spike of tingles that struck up your spine.

“Feel good gorgeous?” He giggled; finding the twitching of the muscles in your lower back entirely cute. You obviously agreed; squeezing him deep and panting for breath at the entirety of your back tingling. 

“Bet Gyu never even touched you here.” 

Yeonjun was massaging at the space above and underneath your tail, his grip on your waist helping you to move your hips; up and down in solid pumps as you intended to work until your core burned. With the promise of Soobin doing nothing but ploughing into you soon, you were happy to hump him like a bunny until you were physically unable.

You nodded; “Yeah - yes, yes Jun, yes, feels good ~”, as drunk as ever.

Yeonjun snickered and tugged at your hips; spanking you plain and wide on the ass to make your knees melt and lose pace.

Soobin groaned with a growl beside you both; vibration jittering your teeth. He seemed to be edging himself for his turn; leaking onto his fists with blown-out eyes and huffs to stay contained.

But he didn’t need to wait long; as Yeonjun was already thick and heavy inside your cunt and had started meeting your thrusts. You knew he was close when his juts were shorter into your guts but harder, and he yowled lowly with a gritted jaw and flat ears.

“Junnie -” You whined loudly, grasping for his attention, and keened a backwards bend into your hips to fuck with his head a bit more; “Want you to cum in me - want you to - use me -”

Your mewling, weak requests threw Yeonjun over the line. 

He fucked you deep and made you cry out while bouncing on his lap; waiting for you to start shaking before gripping your ass and pushing you forward and off; hot spurts of cum slopping all over your ass and lower back in thick ropes. 

To boot it all; he pulled you back onto his cock and pulled you back to sink his canines into your shoulder blade. He had pushed his cock back in at the right time; as it had started expanding, from head to base, filling you until cum slopped out of your cunt in pressured waves.

“Fuck - you’re so tight, never had a knot this good - keep going baby - keep squeezing me, fuck -”

Even as your first orgasm settled, Yeonjun was still cumming as your body quivered and burning pain spread like wildfire over your shoulder blade; holding you into an arch via your breasts that were squeezed tight. You came hard once more; cunt squeezing in waves as you gyrated and cried, tears on your cheek from pure mind-wiping bliss. 

As soon as Yeonjun’s cock deflated and he let go of your torso; you slumped forward onto the dash, hair scattered and panting for both to see. He held your hips steady, to slowly remove his cock and see you drip out onto the seat, while you placed your cheek on the glass to make eye contact with Soobin in all this sinful glory.

“You look good, doll,” Soobin growled lowly, head back and posture relaxed. His voice was gravelly and his eyes were almost black; visibly tense. “Marked up and used.”

You moaned wantonly, putty in their hands

“Wan be with you Soonie ~” You whined. Covered in Yeonjun's marks; and soon to be covered in his. 

You ached for it all.  

“I know you do, love,” Soobin growled like a purr on his lips. “We had to give Junnie his chance, hmm?”

A lesson in patience.

“Yes, Soonie.” You exhaled; head thrown back at Yeonjun's tug of your ribs; intent on scenting your new shoulder bite. A pleasing arch to view. “Yes, puppy.”

Soobin smiled. Softly, for a brief second. The name curved the dimples into his cheek even deeper before springing back.

“Feeling smothered enough yet, love? Still want to be bred fully? The scent will stick more when it’s pumped inside your pretty little cunt, I can promise that much.” 

“Yes,” You moaned; and nodded again. “Ready Binnie.”

The three of you took a moment to rest. Soobin guessed you would both be needing to go outside for the size of the cock squeezed into one of his large fists. More space to move you. He chuckled again; your wandering eyes shining in the car lights.

“Come on; let’s go outside for this one ~” Soobin hummed in amusement and got up in a relaxed manner. Kicking the last of his lower clothing onto the floor, minus his shoes.

But you moaned; and straightened up in anticipation; staring back at the fox as the driver's door shut. 

“It’s still wet outside Junnie… We’ll catch a cold?”

At your innocent tone, Yeonjun purred, ears back, eyes sharp, more feral looking than you remembered him ever being. 

That knot had tainted his mind's eye like a love drug. 

He looked up at you in what he thought was a sheepish smile; but in reality, he had chuckled deeply, with a tongue between his sharp and pink-stained teeth and bright angled eyes that left no room for innocence.

“Trust me; you’ll be needing all that space.”

Is all he offered; before the door opened and Soobin slipped his hands down to your elbows; cool against your hot, awaiting, reaching limbs.

You would be lying if you said Soobin was being gentle with you. But you would also be lying if you said you cared. You were pliant in his hold. Pulled out of the car and into the rain; senses flushed with cold air and dampness that wet your lungs. The rain was gentle in its pouring, but endless; and it could do nothing to wash away the sins that had already marked your body. You’d be smelling like them for weeks.

“Stand up.” Soobin mumbled, gruffly with yet another tug. Handling you like a familiar doll; he supported you just enough to dip his shoulder to your waist and hoist you into the air with no effort; solid hands on your thighs and cunt exposed to the sky; making Yeonjun kiss his teeth behind him in the rain. 

“Go easy on her, dog.” The fox hissed. “She won’t be able to handle one of your moods in this state.”

The fox’s reflective eyes bounced against the dark colour of the car and struck a nerve deep in your soul. Soobin rolled his eyes, but made a sound of agreement; pushing the door shut with his hip.

“Yeah, sure.”

He didn’t say anything to you while walking around the car, but your heart was hammering in your chest; pumping blood down toward your brain and making you dizzy. 

Soobin set you down in one quick motion; back pressed to the long wet hood of the car. Your hair fanned and quickly stuck to the wet surface, body shadowed by his. You inhaled a large heave of breath; hands immediately finding purchase on his shoulders, in his hair, on his neck.

He was so close, and warm, and he smelt like home.

“You’re doing so well, angel,” Soobin growled gently; and wasted no time in moving. He seemingly didn’t want to wait or hold back and you didn’t blame him, after waiting so patiently for so long. 

“Did Jun knot for you, love?” 

He dipped his head to lick from between your chest to up under your chin, acknowledging your soft whine and nod of confirmation - but the new mark of indented teeth, puffy and sore on your neck, stopped him from moving any further; and his mind flashed white at the feral need to suck and faux bite over the other partners' markings - your innocent moans pattered and echoed in the night as he pressed onto your body against the hood. You felt weighted, safe, and secure.

“Y-yes Binnie… Felt good…” You mumbled, shy.

“I bet.” He chuckled softly. No jealousy in his tone, to your surprise. “He must have been holding back for you, love - it was super quick.” 

You were going to acknowledge and agree with this act of nicety; were it not for Soobin moving down your body with his lips to suck a bite into the thin skin between your chest over your ribs. You could happily die like this. Being gnawed on by a dog in the cool of the rain until your purity was sapped and you became theirs.

He would ask you if you were cold - if you wanted to put his or Yeonjun’s jackets on - but your skin was burning with rut fever. He could feel it on his tongue; his skin. The way you melted against him like honey and raised his body temperature; pressing his body weight on top of yours until your knees tucked up and your ankles crossed over his lower back. 

He couldn’t help himself; pulling back up your torso to bite at your oesophagus in a way that made you keen with a moan up and into his body.

“Binnie - leave Junnie's mark -” you pleaded, gasps pattered and cunt pulsing at the dog's selfish scenting. “- you can make a new one -” Soobin growled; but acknowledged your plea and moved to dip down to your crotch. 

Rain hit your face when he moved away, and you made a quiet noise of surprise.

Before you could say anything; Soobin's hands were on the back of your thighs to encourage them up; already acutely aware of what you needed. “Cover your eyes,” Soobin growled into the back of your thighs; sucking hickeys until his knees hit the ground and he tugged you down to the edge of the hood. 

The two of you were on the driver's side; Yeonjun's view was muddy from inside of the wet glass, but apparently good enough that he sat with his head back and lazily jerked himself off. 

“With your forearm.” Your hip bone vibrated; bringing back your attention.

You followed his instruction; and covered your eyes with both arms.

But quickly gripped Soobin’s hair between your legs with one; as Soobin swiped his wide, flat tongue up your cunt and underneath your clit. Like a thirsty hound, he lapped at your folds; sucking and growling at your sensitive cries before spitting his full cheeks of cum and slick back out onto your abdomen.

He dipped again, holding your legs as you twitched and moaned at the way he gyrated his tongue; moving in circles under your clit until your gut twisted and you squeezed more liquid out; caught readily by his open jaw that lapped it into his mouth.

It was a filthy, revolving process; but he wasn’t going to give up until you begged, or had no nectar left to push back out.

“You taste fucking beautiful, little deer.” 

Soobin growled after spitting the thick stringy liquid onto your cunt; only to wipe his mouth on your thigh and repeat.

“Y-yeah?” You whined, hips twitching at each sensitive lap up into your hole. But his grip was strong, and you weren’t going anywhere.

“Mhm -” Soobin groaned; sucking with a slack jaw at your cunt; tongue lapping up against your entrance and dipping barely inside to tease you before pulling away with a grunt. Spitting onto the soft of your belly to see it drip down your hips and stay there in a little pool. “Thick, sweet cherry. But Jun’s citrus is in there too. My new favourite taste.”

He dipped again; lapping until you squealed and your cunt pushed out more of the warm sinful mix. He growled lowly; letting it drip out onto his tongue, before spitting so quickly to catch the rest of it, that a string splashed up your torso and dripped over your ribs onto the car.

“Ngh - really Binnie? Even - even with - Junnie?” 

Your breath was becoming laboured. Short, sharp and desperate. 

Soobin pointed his ears up, more towards your face and away from your squelching core. You were talking about Yeonjun's cum; painted on your stomach, on your back, mixed with your slick, all over you. The hound growled a pleasant hum in thought but answered without hesitation. 

“Particularly with Junnie’s spunk inside and all over you, love. The two of you were made for each other.”

“Make that three, Binnie ~” You whined, releasing his hair to grip the hood. Trembling. Twitching. Sensitive.

“Sure.” He chuffed in agreement. “The three of us go well together.”

He pulled the flat of his tongue up underneath your clit; and wiggled it until you cried and twitched; open mouth kissing and sucking the squeezing, slopping drip out of your cunt. 

He wondered if it would ever end.

“Mmm -” He grumbled. The next spit was lazy and connected to his chin as it dripped onto your pelvic bone. “I’ve always been a fan of nice, hot, cream pie.”

Soobin chuckled a reasonable amount to himself for that one. It was more like a fruit medley, but you truly did smell and taste fucking delectable, and he couldn’t believe he was able to experience such a thing in this lifetime. 

You were too far gone for the joke to hit; so your innocence softened him. He connected his fingers with your own outreaching ones. Lapping a few tester swipes into your cunt.

“Ngh - Binnie - please - ah -”

That was enough teasing. You had started to beg, and that was all he wanted. He just wanted to have his fill. To make sure he had the power (and you, the submission) to cry out his name. Plus; Yeonjun had already worked you open; you just needed an even bigger stretch. And he didn’t want you out in the rain for too long, just in case.

You smiled bashfully to yourself with butterflies as he prodded around your skin with short nips and a pressing tongue. He was trying to find your pulse. And knew he had got it when you moaned; twitching at the bite on your inner thigh.

“Bite.” Soobin forewarned, soft and calm in tone.

Your slick and Yeonjun's cum had melted on Soobin's tongue; sticking to his gums as he sunk his teeth into the soft flesh of your thigh. It was a lot less intense of a scratching pain than Yeonjun's; this one was placed with love, and he was slow and gentle. His teeth were bigger and sunk in deeper, but they were blunt at the tip. Whatever infection you would usually be worried about, was dissipated in this state of lust and submission. 

He broke the skin with a grunt and growled in comforting waves as you whined, and reached for him. He closed it gently too; kissing, licking, peppering the area with praise until the wound closed to stop bleeding.

“You’re doing so well, gorgeous,” Soobin mumbled against your skin; before losing himself in the process of scenting your thigh with his cheek. His eyes closed and his tall pointed ears folded to his dark hair, dimples and a pleasant flush to his skin visible even in the rain. “I’m so proud of how well you’re bonding with us. Who would have ever thought? A doe, a fox, a dog.”

He opened an eye to smile up at you, to meet the reflective doe eyes that peeked up at him underneath your forearm. Your expression was shy, but you would be brave for him. And shared a gentle moment of love.

He pulled away from your thigh with a groan, rising from the ground. 

“On your stomach please angel.” Soobin guided, gruffly. “Let’s get this rut fucked out of you, hmm? Pretty girl? Then some loving, when we take you back to ours? Yeonjun can sit with you in the back on the way there.”

You giggled; and nodded with a drunk smile. Soobin squeezed your hand before releasing; gripping your hips to flip you over; leaning over you afterwards so his longer arms entrapped you. 

He placed his hand between your ear and shoulder; you gulped at the idea of being unable to move once he started; remembering the way he ploughed into his fist with absolutely no remorse.

“Want me to make it quick? Or do you want to ride this one out? It’s your rut gorgeous, so you tell me.”

You would’ve loved to answer immediately, but Soobin was swiping the head of his cock up and down your slit and pressing into your entrance. You moaned in a long whine as Soobin spat onto your joined bodies before pushing his long, thick cock up into your tight, warm cunt. It was a stretch from entrance to belly, and you shook in pleasure while he paused and waited for your body to accommodate. 

“Fuck - you take me so good baby -” Soobin groaned, holding himself up with strong back muscles once he had hit your tight muscles; thrusting shallowly to get rid of the last excess cum taking up space inside of your walls. He was already leaking, and even Yeonjun from inside the car could smell his heavy woody scent inside your gut. 

“One thing’s for sure -” He groaned, shallowly thrusting to hear you choke, rain on his back dripping enough for him to shake his head. He dipped to heave hot air onto your cheek, steaming in the winter air, growling lowly. “- I’m going to knot so tight inside your pretty little cunt, my tiny little doe, you won’t be able to go anywhere without us for the next month.”

You gasped; crying out at his filthy words of warning and his sudden abrupt jut up into your gut. “O-oh -” You whined, flexing your feet to press against him. He hit deeper than Yeonjun. And you imagined you wouldn’t be taking his cock this much, if at all, were it not for the slick and the cum and the being already-knotted-in. Your body relaxed even more in submission, and he pressed one final time until he hit your cervix.

“Quickly Binnie,” You puttered. “Please, want it quickly, I need you, please…”

It was done. 

Your wish was his command and he was happy to oblige.

Soobin placed his hands above your shoulders and spread his palms wide to steady himself and keep you trapped; key anchors to help him thrust like the gods depended on it. Each thick pull and pump against your tight hot walls made you cry out and curl your toes in mind-melding delight. Contracting all the way through until his cock began to twitch and swell. 

Something about it. Something about this scene.

Something about Soobin thrusting into you so hard that the car jolted on every second exhale. 

Something about your body going numb with pleasure; guts ploughed, fucked full of thick squelching cum until your stomach swelled. 

Something about your bare skin squeaking on the wet hood of the car, gripping him, and any corner to stay sane.

Moaning; crying so loud for only the forest to hear.

Until your cunt pulsed and you came hard, and slow; melting with shivers into the cool metal of the car, craning back to reach him.

Soobin lowered himself as you fell apart. His toned chest covered your back and he buried his face into your neck, encapsulating you. His elbows hit the hood and he held your shoulders from underneath you as his thrusts became more and more abrupt until they hurt; smacking your cervix and making you shake. 

He thrusted in deep low ruts until your insides almost split from pleasure; cum pressing out in waves down your thighs and sliding off the river of rain onto the gravel.

Then finally, his knot began to swell. 

The base flared and he pumped you full of cum until you were stretched to your limits; stomach bumping with the pressure; seeing stars, milking him and breathless. You moaned, and you whined and you pressed up against him with a twitching body; so much that Soobin held you tight.

You were finally satiated.

Your mind was clear again.

Finally; release.

For the first time in possibly weeks, you felt cold. You hadn't realised it had been that long until you felt it. Like the sudden Autumn chill after Summer had gone, the goosebumps were clear and quick. 

Soobin expected it; the sudden drop in your body temperature that is, as he sheltered you from the shower of rain that pattered into a slow stop. His ear flicked, and he nuzzled your cheek. Along with your body temp dipping; you had stopped moving and whimpering.

“Feeling better angel?” Soobin huffed, patiently. “The rains stopped. So has your heat.”

You were spent. Blinking back into the world. You were only able to nod.

He kissed your cheek with praises that you couldn’t quite decipher and moved on strong arms to pull out, plugging your hole with three fingers before gesturing to Yeonjun in the car to grab the wipes in his dash and console. The car door opened, and you rested against the metal with half-closed eyes as a large cloth - spare and unused for cleaning the inner windows for condensation in the winter - was thrown over the car and into Soobin's reach. Yeonjun got back in for a moment to hide the unsightly mess he had made all over the seat.

You were surrounded by them. Their scents, body, warmth. And you felt safe. For the first time since the accident; you could let go again.

“Fucked you like you needed it, hmm, little Doe? Let's try not to make a habit of that. I don’t want to see you that sick, hopefully ever again.”

Soobin ran his nails over your small sensitive tail to un-matt some of the fur that gelled together after the cum and the rain. He patted it when it shook, body language to stop, and made a mental note to help you with personal hygiene surrounding your tail later - as no doubt Beomgyu barely even looked after his, let alone coached you with yours.

"'m- 'm- c-cold, Bin," You jittered, nodding, but confused. Fucked silly and weak. “‘m great, but c-cold…” 

You flinched harshly as he wiped around your lower abdomen still pressed to the car, and Yeonjun’s dried cum on your lower back. Soobin once again knelt to the ground to quickly lap at the space around your labia to swallow what he could, before rising and swiping his mouth then your inner thighs with the cloth.

"I know, gorgeous," Soobin grumbled affectionately, wiping the last of the slick from between your legs. "Jun will sit with you soon." 

You failed to connect the dots. Why would that even matter? But you would soon come to realise; that there was a reason why foxes could stay out in the cold for so long.

“Stay there angel. Don’t move without our help.” Soobin ordered. He retreated for a moment, shuffling around in the car, trying to look for something. Disposing the rag into a box that would disguise the scent for now, enough to get home and burn it.

Such a simple distance made your heartbeat patter. You released a small whine, coughing as it escaped unexpectedly, and the other guardian nearby - watching and waiting - answered the call immediately. 

The car door opened, and the fox timidly cantered out to sit on the hood of the car next to you. His hands in his pocket. Head tilted with a concerned but lovingly amused expression.

He brought his soft palm to your spine and brushed over your cold rippling muscles and tail. A disapproving hissing sound escaped between his teeth. Your skin was lower in temperature than earlier. Not ice cold, but dipping quickly, and compared to how hot you had been burning up, it was a shock.

You rose on extremely weak forearms and accepted Yeonjun’s aid as he tugged you to sit up and lean into his side. He held you up by an arm around your waist and your face rested on his broader shoulder. You practically folded into him; arms in his lap, limp.

"You still with us, little Doe?" Yeonjun mumbled, kissing your eyes. 

He kissed you wherever he could, and brushed the hair out of your face to check your condition, thumb over the height of your cheek. But he quickly saw that you were okay. That Soobin hadn't ruined you like he had been concerned about. You had just been fucked silly and needed some love. 

“Floating away, little one?” He eased into a one-cheeked soft smile. 

You nodded, melting into him the best you could at this angle. 

“That’s okay.” He mumbled. “I’ve got you. You’re safe. Close your eyes.”

He was so warm. So delightfully fresh smelling. So comforting to be near. So you trusted him, his enveloping voice, and shut your eyes.

"You truly did fuck the rut out of her, hmm?" Yeonjun spoke while looking to you; but turned his head. "I'm impressed."

You peeled open an eye. But the question wasn't aimed at you. And you started joining some tired dots. 

Soobin shrugged nonchalantly behind the car door, shuffling his jeans back up his toned legs and chucking his belt into the back seat. There was little to no weakness in his knees; surprising given the workout, knot and release that had just happened. Such was Soobin. The guy was trained to be this way. He was bred for it.

"Sure - it's nothing. She was burning up and needed it badly. Happy to help out."

"She sure did." Yeonjun hummed in amusement. Taking a moment to run his nose over your hairline and kiss your forehead, aware of your shivering and jittering teeth next to him. 

The sex was a kindness that either of them would do again; the bonding was something more personal and securing on the relationship between the three of you. 

"I take it you're going to be having a word with Gyu, at some point?"

Soobin growled audibly and shook off the immediate irritation of hearing his name by slamming the back-end car door with a snarl. You didn't even flinch, Yeonjun noted, watching the doe eyes that fluttered on his shoulder. His hand strayed to tuck your hair behind your ear, thumb pressing over your cold cheek. Releasing once you pressed further into him.

"Yeah." Soobin grit. "Can't believe he'd let her suffer like that. And for that fucking long. Man's sick, and twisted, and needs to be given a heads up on Hybrid-decency."

Yeonjun hummed to muse his words, but no matter the tone, he knew it was just Soobin's protective anger talking. 

"Not always as simple as that Bin, you know that." 

Yeonjun sat so patiently as you reached for him. As Soobin raged your fists curled into the curve of Yeonjun’s waist. Your face drifted closer and closer to his exposed neck until you huffed for him to come closer. Yeonjun leaned in, and ran his fingers through your hair, pressing his finger pads over your bites to check they were closed, holding your cheek, keeping constant tabs on your heartbeat and your breathing. 

You were so cold. He was eager to get you back to their den, as soon as he could. You needed to find a place in your new home. Because that’s what this was now; a new beginning. One of guidance, loyalty, calm and trust. 

You would never fall when they were there to hold you up.

Soobin huffed a sigh and released his shoulders.  

"Yeah. I just wish he would have told me sooner. Would have been a lot easier. A lot less suffering. A lot less of her, suffering alone, confused, blue-balled, afraid - I mean - can you imagine June? All of that tension and self-restraint on your first rut… I would have gone insane, Jun! Fucking wild!"

Yeonjun shrugged. Lips in a pout. 

"But; she didn’t, and he did tell you, eventually. Hence us all being together tonight. You never know, maybe he was insanely stressed about it. Maybe he didn't know exactly… what to do, how to help her out. You know as well as me that they’ve been having issues, pup. Sometimes things just don't work out. Seems to have gone that way, sooner than we realised."

Soobin passed the shirt in his hand between his palms, sulking.

"You know what he's like, Bin. A chronic worrier. Would rather bury his head in the sand until it's too late. Let's just be thankful that we - that you - caught it when you did. Could have gone a hell of a lot worse. Ain't that right doll? You're all good now, hmm? All good with us from now on?"

Soobin looked up to see Yeonjun's forehead meeting your own tired and dazed one. The hound blinked out of his anger and his chest pained. Yeonjun’s irises had contracted, and his ears had softened, and he allowed you to watch his beautiful amber eyes until you laid your cheek back onto his shoulder; submissive, trusting, calm.

You weren’t listening to their discussion, but that was more to the point. You had come to them for aid and they had answered. Beomgyu had tried, but it wasn’t meant to be. Such is life.

No anger can stay strong in the presence of all that love.

“I’m glad we stayed with her,” Soobin grumbled, ears softening, eyes downcast. Tail pressed between his legs. “I’ve been so worried since the accident. She needed so much love and Beomgyu just… didn’t know what to do with all of that. I’m glad we found out, I just hate to think we could’ve helped sooner.”

Yeonjun purred softly. Soobin meant well. He just found it hard to take action in the right way. Or speak before he moved. Or articulate exactly what it was he was feeling. They were opposites in this sense. Yeonjun was sharp and swift by nature; born to survive no matter what. Soobin was bred to be brash and bold; to frighten and intimidate and to conquer. 

Both needed each other for balance. Both of them needed you, to teach them new things.

"Exactly. What’s done is done. I’m proud of you for staying by her side and not rushing things.”

Soobin peered up at Yeonjun's softened voice and whined softly. He tilted his head and his tail patted in a display of affection. He looked to the floor as he spoke his troubles with a weak tenor.

“How are we going to fit all of her stuff in the apartment, June?”

Soobin's voice was stuffed full of emotion. Yeonjun's ears folded this time, and his own tail patted. He held out his hand.

“Come here, Bin.”

Soobin shuffled toward you both, eyes stuck on you until he reached Yeonjun. The fox slipped his hand to Soobin’s elbow; kissing the hound's cheek, then rubbing his ears on the parts he could reach, small chitters causing you to open your eyes. Soobin pressed a hand onto the crown of your head and kissed your hair. The three of you were connected and in love.

“It doesn’t matter, pup, we’ll figure it out. We’ll talk with Beomgyu soon. But she’s ours to worry about for now. Like, right now. She needs to be in a warm den, Soob. Let’s hurry and get her back to ours before she starts to panic.”

"Yeah," Soobin cleared his throat with a nod. "Here - she can wear this." 

Yeonjun accepted the fabric passed to him. A large, white, gym shirt, lightly used. Yeonjun was quick to release Soobin's elbow; burying his face in it with a low yowling groan, rolling his eyes, swearing under his breath.

"Fuck, smells good pup."

The dog smirked with a slight roll of his eyes. Touched by his open admiration. Yeonjun loved his scent, and would often bury himself in it, whenever Soobin allowed. The dog combed his fingers through Yeonjun's dishevelled black and orange hair; avoiding the gel spots to scratch behind his companion’s black-tipped ear. Yeonjun shut his eyes with a shiver and a chitter.

"Can she sit in the back with you?" Soobin grumbled, smoothing the fox’s hair back in place to then move away; opening the driver's door and closing the boot in one long, swift line of motion. The dog was big, after all.

"Sure. Of course." Yeonjun nodded, delicately. As if he would leave you to sit by yourself. 

Yeonjun turned to stand and help you move in the light of the campsite lamps. He held you steady as he went, and admired your half-closed eyes and softly postured lips. You were shivering, and drowsy, just about paying attention to his tactile guidance, let alone his voice. Deer pupils blown out to the corners of your mind.

"Come on, arms up for me baby-doll. Let's get you warmed up." 

Yeonjun moved to shuffle the shirt over your head and it fit like a mini dress. And, Yeonjun was right, it did smell good. Some hints of cologne, but mostly Soobin's natural scent.

"Where is… Binnie…" You moaned absently. 

"Right here gorgeous." Soobin chuckled. He was leaning on his door with his long arms, watching as Yeonjun shuffled you forward, ready to carry you into the warm seats with him. “You want me instead?”

Your face heated in embarrassment when you processed what had happened. You didn’t mean to call out for him so openly. You were just thinking he was with you one minute, and then gone the next - 

“No…”

The boys chuckled.

"Arms please, cutie," Yeonjun whispered, closer to your face, obscuring your line of vision and waiting for you to hold his neck. He was moving carefully and slowly so you didn’t startle, but he hadn't expected you to miss his command completely. 

He chuckled at the rubbing of your cheek against his and began purring at you. Your attempt to scent yourself on him. It was simply adorable. Messy, as you followed your nose, but he stayed still for a moment until you felt comforted enough and melted into his shoulders.

"Thank you, baby." Yeonjun purred - thank you for scenting me - and gently gripped your arms to place them around his neck. He hummed, scooping under your ass and lifting you onto his hip in one quick motion with unreasonable ease. 

He carried you to the passenger side back door, Soobin's hand to your head as the boys exchanged a forehead bump and Yeonjun dipped with you in his hold. He shuffled so his foot was on the console; one knee up to stop you falling backwards. Arms encircling you and pulling up the coats from the floor to rest over your legs.

You shut your eyes right as Soobin flicked the inner car lights off; in a dreamlike state. 

The car was heavily scented; to the point of discomfort for the Canidae. But the inside was warm for you, and that was the most important thing. The boys could risk a stray boner to keep you happy and comforted; as these next few hours would determine the rest of your bonded life together. However long it may last.

"Junnie -" You moaned airily, calling for him. "F-feet…" 

You tried to speak, but couldn’t form the words. Your brain was empty and your tongue was heavy in your mouth.

Yeonjun chittered and pressed a kiss to your cheekbone. His warm palms pressed at your ice-cold feet, gauging temp. He made a noise of shock and answered you before you could even explain. Yeonjun covered your feet with his tail. The same bushy-tail foxes would use to fight the cold of the night. The fur warmed your feet instantly and you chuffed in delight, eyes closed and body liquid in his hold. 

"Better?" He hummed in amusement. You were speaking non-verbally; without deer ears, it was hard for them to track your emotions, but the soft puts of air and gloats helped them immensely.

You nodded but made a soft noise like a deer in distress. You wanted to be in a warm bed, under covers, surrounded by them. You didn’t need to speak, he understood your discomfort already.

"I know." Yeonjun purred back with a laugh, pressing hot airy kisses to your ear. "You’ll be home soon, doll. Relax your body, I can take it. Lean into me."

You wanted to meld into him. So you did. You dropped your face to his warm neck and released the tension in your thighs. Nose directly in the crook of his neck, and moaned softly. His arms squeezed you to him gently, and his tail curled in the squeeze of an embrace.

"Get some sleep angel. It's a decently long drive." 

"Cold… " Your quiet voice was so strained in an effort to speak that Yeonjun yowled with a heaving heart. He kissed your hair; combing through the wet as best as he could. Holding the coats to your skin.

Soobin smiled, watching you through the mirror. Your tired face had a crease in its centre; brows creased, eyes shut and nose pressed to his baby boy's skin. He was doing such a good job of caring for you. Soobin's heart beat heavily.

"You'll be alright, Y/N. It's just - the fever’s gone - for a little while at least. You'll be burning up like a furnace and humping the air again in the morning, probably. Would be surprised if it lasted longer than another day. Just takes a while to get it out of your system."

You nodded in response; light and accepting.

"Are you warm enough, love?" Soobin spoke softly. Voice low, dimples deep and eyelids dipped. 

Yeonjun chittered, and his ears pulled back. He looked shy, in a way you had never seen before. And you felt the beat of his heart pick up, Adam's apple bobbing.

"Sure am." He smiled. Even his voice - he was quick, eager to answer, and coy. 

"Good. Feeling okay?" 

Yeonjun nodded shyly again. 

"If you start feeling the effects of the rut, just let me know. I can take over."

Another timid, gentle nod.

"Thanks Bin-Bin. I think we're okay back here, for now. I may need a break when we get home though." 

"No problem." Soobin's dimples deepened with his smile, throwing in a wink. "Let's go. You’ll have to excuse the mess at home Y/N. It’s only ever been us two guys living together, after all."

Oh, how all your lives were due to change.

MAIN MASTERLIST /// TXT MASTERLIST /// IMAGE MASTERPOST UIHALL [FIRST IN SERIES] /// [UIHALL - PART 2.I HERE.......]

well would you look at that: updated 5/DECEMBER/2023

[schismusic]

Nine Inch Nails' The Fragile (and me) at 25

It turns out it's very hard for me to talk about Nine Inch Nails on this blog. Not only because it's a band whose catalogue I explored in a very, very weird manner (essentially anything after 2005, barring Hesitation Marks, is terra ignota to me, a guy who fucking shelled out fifty euros as a fourteen-year-old to go see Trent Reznor perform live as his first ever paid gig) but also because what I do know about them has indelibly altered how I function, not just as a musician but as a person as well. Issue is: The Downward Spiral turned thirty last March. Your usual suspects and I ended up giving it another whirl. I hadn't heard it in full in, at that point, a good five years if not more – my memories of it were confused at best. Of course, hearing the whole thing after so long reminded me of the absolute paradigm shift the record was for me (and, doubtless, for many others as well) which led to me finally biting the bullet.

There is another Nine Inch Nails record hitting a special anniversary this year. It perennially exists in the shadow of the other two "classic" NIN records, mostly due to its perceived length, width of scope, breadth of intent, intensity. I'm not a Nine Inch Nails historian, despite the profound interest the band has always sparked within me. I will not pretend to have any special insight to offer within the recording process, the songwriting, the psychology behind any NIN release at all – and especially not a release as personal, as layered, as complicated, and ultimately as definitive as this one. Anyone with ears will however have to agree with this: sure, it might not have singles as iconic, it might not be as concise, it might not capture the zeitgeist as well as its predecessors, but The Fragile hit its twenty-fifth anniversary with what we can only assume to have been the same grace as works like Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings, Homer's Odyssey, Nintendo R&D1's Super Metroid. It's not even a contest. Pretty Hate Machine, barring a couple of incredible songs that would be absolute standouts in any other discography, is mostly just cute and quite unfocused in a number of crucial ways that make it breathe stilted compared to what's to come. Broken and The Downward Spiral still hit like a truck with very little rough spots – they remain lean, efficient pieces of slaughter machinery – but, as acutely noted by recurring blog guest Francesco Farabegoli, their reliance on heavy guitars seems to be more a byproduct of historical coincidence than that of genuine affection, on Reznor's part, to that specific brand of aggression. As such, it's easier to see them retrospectively as double-bound to phenomena like the Seattle sound's overnight success, or the surprisingly big following garnered by genres like death metal and projects like Ministry. None of this applies to The Fragile. Every single sound design decision in The Fragile stands as well alone as it does within the context of the whole NIN discography up to that point – including the Quake soundtrack, which (if not for its inherent ties to an external vision, not directly pertaining to anyone in the band) might actually be its closest peer in a number of ways.

Following up on the more abstract moments of Quake, for starters, The Fragile by and large foregoes the grid-like structure that even The Downward Spiral still abode to. As a result, most of the album's songs retain a surprising "live" feel to them; however, it has to be noted that the sounds themselves are imprecise, artisanal, acoustically coherent to their own reality, believable within the context of a hypothetical recording space: somewhat damaged, in most scenarios. The irony of saying this about a record whose singles include, among other things, humongous-sounding digitally distorted walls of electric guitars and actual breakbeats does not escape me, of course; but tracks like The Great Below (one of the album's thematic centerpieces) are ultimately so enhanced by the unnaturally warbled synth strings, the alien-sounding acoustic guitars or whatever that fucking pluck even is, the single-tracked lead vocals that it's actually impossible to unhear it, once you've heard it. In other words, The Fragile's ultimate superiority lies within its decision to sound – plain and simple – like it is dying.

What most popular rock and rock-adjacent acts of the 1990s made finally clear is the inextricable connection between grief and anger, mourning and fury. On average, the more personal the record, the clearer the connection between the two. In Utero, Dirt, the more politically charged branches of emo, the bands that most openly associated themselves with the nu metal image all end up converging onto an angst-filled paradox of vehement depression, or abulic bloodlust, if you'd rather. This is also the case with The Downward Spiral – a record that conveniently expresses its sad moments in the form of exactly that: sad moments (A Warm Place and Hurt, to name names). I am also conveniently leaving aside the more overtly sexual side of all the records and movements mentioned – but ultimately, bloodlust and appetite are not just metaphors of destruction, if you catch my drift. All of this somehow ends up actually coalescing into virtually any given second of The Fragile's hour-and-a-half runtime. The irony is that this exact coincidence of sounds and feelings looks a lot like your average sixty-year-old who takes up the habit of looking at obituaries posted on the streets and put in local newspaper – an exquisitely Abruzzese habit, from which I am not exempt.

Pointedly enough, a couple of tracks on the record openly tie into the then-recent demise of Trent Reznor's grandmother Clara, the woman who encouraged him to actually pursue a serious career in music. It gets particularly grim when you realize the instrumental I've just linked above this paragraph – candidly titled I'm Looking Forward to Joining You, Finally – has one single thing written under its title in the CD's booklet: the chilling epigraph "for Clara". I spent a lot of time in a cemetery on November 2nd, 2024, as my family and I waited for the Day of the Dead mass to start. Everyone in town had reunited in the graveyard, with the hilarious result that the place in question was more populated – and noisier, regrettably – than the actual town itself. A literal necropolis, then: a city of the dead, as in quite literally built with them: the little family mausoleums and the big structures comprising multiple assorted burial recesses, if you squint, look like condominiums, late nineteenth-century roofed avenues, suburban villas. Then, those who populate these areas, of course very much alive, speak of things pertaining mostly to people who are alive – and boil with the self-destructive rage pertaining to people who are still alive (self-destuctive, that is, only insofar as other people they know no longer are alive).

I was born on July 11th, 1999; as such, I am about two months older than The Fragile. The fact that this particular record would turn twenty-five the same year as me imposed a redde rationem of some kind: finally face this behemoth, advertised to be more depressing, more horrifying, dirtier and more suffocating than any other NIN record was. And so I did. Mere days after the record's anniversary, my girlfriend would tell me she wasn't feeling the spark anymore. As usual, she'd called it right – neither was I, as hard to admit as it was. Grandpa stays buried, much to everyone's chagrin, and I am nowhere closer to making my own Russian Ark than I was when I posted my last piece on here. I fumbled a cute-looking girl a week ago and while on the one hand I knew this was gonna happen and I was going to take it in stride, on the other hand this very much did not happen, which led me to finally listen to Justin Broadrick's Jesu (more on this in another post: it's probably gonna be a fun time, unlike this one). A couple of other things happened – a British girl hit on me after my band played a local underground music club, and then forgot to actually follow suit with her actual plans, luckily for me seeing as she looked to be quite drunk already – but the point still stands: I am the one looking at obituaries, blindly reading on, recognizing last names with a grimace, refusing to engage with my own fallibility.

So twenty-five years on, we have to face the music. Reznor has, so far, never made anything as intense and personal and calculated and brutal and perfect in the etymological sense of the word as The Fragile. Doing so would, in all likelihood, kill him. With Teeth is a record that admits a form of defeat: I'll take a quiet life, I'll take a rock quartet with synths, I don't fucking care about perfection any longer. Hesitation Marks deals in different forms of anxiety, more befitting for a man (at the time) nearing fifty, with a wife and children and an Academy Award or two sitting on his shelf somewhere. Both are mostly cute – I will go so far as to admit I have an actual soft spot for Hesitation Marks, making it the only NIN record outside of the classics that I willingly go out of my way to listen to in full – and ultimately inconsequential. I guess I can certainly aspire to be as inconsequential and cute as these records are, knowing there will forever be a record like The Fragile somewhere behind my back, hiding in the shadows.

[rimeiii]

What in Hell is Bad Demon Kings as Arknights Operators

(If you saw this before, it's because my Tumblr app glitched out and sent the draft before I was done orz)

So, funny story!

With every single WHB demon king already obtaining a playable version, I found myself thinking of the very hypothetical scenario of Asmodeus facing off against Mlynar, an AK Operator who also doesn't do normal attacks (he'd lose imo, our local jaded horse uncle salaryman Mlynar is OP for a reason yo). But this turned into thinking about every single demon lord in the context of them as AK Operators...

I also kinda need to appease the gacha gods by providing any sort of content, because Logos's banner drops on the 31st of October (which is tomorrow oh my god) and even though I may already have a spark ready for him (300 pulls) and enough materials to max him out day 1, I want as many copies as possible for the AK equivalent of his tea leaves.

I could've had more but I spent like 240 pulls in the past 6 months to grab several other 6* Operators, notably a guaranteed new Operator on the celebration banner (Penance in ~60), ~50 in Zuo Le's banner (got him), another 10 on Ascalon's banner (didn't get her), and a whopping 120 on Ela's banner (R6S collab, collab banners have hard pity at 120 pulls).

Update for those who care - yeah, it worked! 160 pulls for my first copy, immediately ran to fully upgrade him before pulling again, and got another two within the next 140. Welcome home husband ❤

Some ground rules before we get into the meat of the post, however:

I'll be using the Selfie cards as main inspiration, pulling in lore for any other adjustments.

Will also be putting down some skill info! Skills will assume 6* standards, meaning they have a total of three skills to choose from and two passive skills in total (Talents).

I won't be doing Modules, skill names, and skill numbers, to preserve my sanity.

Without further ado...

Satan

Satan's Selfie card has an insanely long range and strong single-target damage, but his skill deals AoE damage. That's why I think he could be a Deadeye Sniper. This, despite him apparently sharing the same seiyuu as Totter, a Besieger Sniper.

Deadeye Snipers have high Attack, a large range (extends in a triangular shape forward), and prioritizes attacking enemies with the lowest Defense. As a matter of fact, they have among the highest Attack in the entire game! This is why I picked the Deadeye Sniper subclass over Besieger Sniper for Satan - even though Besieger Snipers also have a long range, they have a blind spot in the row right in front of them, have lower attack than Deadeye Snipers, and prioritize attacking enemies with the highest weight.

First skill: a generic Attack buff.

Second skill: summons his blood scythe to attack everything in his range, dealing AoE Physical damage and inflicting Fragile (increases damage taken by all affected enemies) for a brief period of time. He can store up to 3 charges of this skill starting Mastery level 1 (normally he can only store 2 charges max), but its cooldown is slightly longer than Leonhardt's second skill, which has a similar effect.

Skill 3: an ammo skill that turns his regular attacks into AoE attacks. Increases his attack wind-up time, gives him a sizeable Attack buff, and inflicts Fragile on all affected enemies for a brief period of time. Because it's an ammo skill, this skill will continue until either he runs out of ammo or the player manually deactivates this skill.

Talent 1: increases damage dealt if there is only one enemy in his attack range.

Talent 2: all of his attacks ignore a set amount of enemy defense, this amount increases after being deployed for a set period of time until a certain cap is reached.

Mammon

Quite possibly the only tank in the entire lineup of demon kings while still being able to deal some damage, which is why I think he could feasibly be an Arts Protector Defender. Bonus points for him also sharing the same voice actor as Czerny, an Arts Protector Defender!

Arts Protector Defenders deal Arts damage when you use their skills, and they tend to be on the more offensive side while still boasting respectable defenses and blocking ability. The other offense-focused Defender subclass, Duelist Defenders, may have higher attack, but they're only able to block one enemy at a time, unlike the 3-block of other Defender subclasses.

Skill 1: a generic attack buff.

Skill 2: an attack speed buff and minor attack buff, coupled with the ability to attack all blocked enemies and lifesteal (heals a small percentage of damage dealt).

Skill 3: increases his range to attack the 8 tiles around him and summons his golden fists to attack an enemy at a time, dealing AoE damage where the target is and providing a small percentage chance to briefly stun all affected enemies while slowing down their movement speed for a brief period of time.

Talent 1: increases his max HP and defense.

Talent 2: upon skill use, grants him a shield based on a percentage of his max HP, this shield will decay over time.

Leviathan

Now, Leviathan shares the same voice actor as Shalem, another Arts Protector Defender. But Leviathan wouldn't be a Defender, I feel. Instead, I'd like to lean into his 'summoner of Eldritch beings' side a little bit more and have him be a Summoner Supporter.

Summoner Supporters deal Arts damage and are able to deploy their own summons, each with their own behaviors and stats. The summons' passive effects and behavior depends on the Summoner's set skill. Leviathan's summons would all have 1-block by default. These summons would be his Eldritch beings, but I'd like to think he'd have a particular focus on his tentacle monsters. A little bit like Deepcolor, a Summoner Supporter whose summons are tentacles, with her being of the fish race (Aegirs).

Skill 1: summons can be deployed on melee tiles and deals single-target physical damage. When Leviathan uses his skill, he and his summons gain a generic attack speed buff.

Skill 2: summons can be deployed on ranged tiles and deals single-target Arts damage. When Leviathan uses his skill, he and his summons gain Invisibility (prevents them from being targeted by all attacks until they are revealed, either by invisibility-revealing enemy skills or being blocked) and a significant attack buff, but slightly increases their attack wind-up time.

Skill 3: summons can be deployed on melee tiles and deals single-target physical damage. When Leviathan uses his skill, he and his summons gain both an attack speed and attack buff. His summons also gain +1 block count and attacks all blocked enemies.

Talent 1: Leviathan can have up to 5 summons at a time (can only deploy 3). These summons have different stats and skills based on Leviathan's equipped skill.

Talent 2: Leviathan and his summons have a minor HP regen by default, based on a percentage of their attack.

Beelzebub

I considered Instructor Guards for Beelzebub because of their tendency to have whip or whip-like weapons (some notable exceptions being Swire with a mace and Rainbow Six Siege's collaboration Operator Doc with a gun). But Instructor Guards are typically more support-oriented, which I feel kinda goes against Beelzebub's general personality, so...I decided on making him a Lord Guard.

Lord Guards have a larger range than even Instructor Guards and boast the ability to launch ranged attacks within their extended range, but these ranged attacks have lower attack power compared to their regular attacks. They deal single-target physical damage.

Skill 1: a generic attack buff.

Skill 2: drops light arrows at several spots within his attack range, prioritizing those closest to him. These arrows deal a single instance of AoE physical damage and inflicts all enemies hit with a damage over time debuff. Normally 2 spots are selected, increased to 3 spots at Mastery level 1.

Skill 3: changes his damage type to Arts, increases his range, allows him to target an additional two enemies with each attack, and gives himself an attack buff. Enemies hit by his attack suffers a damage over time debuff for a short period of time.

Talent 1: gains increased attack when no allies are in his immediate vicinity (the 8 tiles surrounding him).

Talent 2: his attacks have a small percentage chance to 'crit' and deal increased damage, this percentage chance increases as long as he hasn't dealt a crit damage instance, resetting after each crit.

Lucifer

I feel like this is the most no-brainer choice. In Arknights, there is only one subclass of Medics that have the ability to damage enemies, which is the Incantation Medic. Medics in Arknights typically don't do any damage apart from these Incantation Medics and two Single-Target Medic exceptions in Kal'tsit (has the Mon3tr summon, a DPS unit which is what she's mostly used for) and Folinic (only deals damage on her second skill).

Incantation Medics are unable to directly heal their allies, unlike all other Medics. Instead, they attack enemies that enter their range with single-target Arts damage, and subsequently heal an ally within their attack range with the lowest amount of HP based on the total damage they dealt onto the enemy.

Skill 1: increases attack speed and heal amount per attack.

Skill 2: heals everyone in his range after each attack, and gains an attack buff.

Skill 3: increases his attack and attack speed, attacks deal some splash damage on surrounding enemies. When no healing is needed, damage dealt is instead converted to a shield buff on a friendly unit, prioritizing an ally in his range currently being targeted by an enemy. Otherwise, default to the last-deployed Operator.

Talent 1: gains increased attack speed when an ally within his range has his HP dropped below half.

Talent 2: his attacks have a chance to lower enemy attack and attack speed by a certain amount.

Belphegor

The fact that he deals AoE damage with his normal attacks makes it a pretty cut-and-dry choice between two different classes, in my opinion - those two classes being Artilleryman Snipers and Splash Casters. I personally am biased towards Splash Casters, purely because Belphegor doesn't seem to be wielding any guns, which are typical for Artillerymen Snipers.

Splash Casters have high attack and deal AoE Arts damage with every attack in their range. They also have a slower attacking speed compared to most of the other classes to balance out their high base offenses.

Skill 1: a generic attack buff.

Skill 2: slightly increases his attack and attack speed, extends his range, and inflicts Slow (lowers movement speed) for a period of time on all enemies hit by his attacks.

Skill 3: increases his attack and attack wind-up time. Now attacks all enemies in his range, has a small percentage chance to Bind (causes the enemy to stop moving and attacking) the enemy for a brief period of time, and the effect of his second Talent will be increased.

Talent 1: stores up power the longer he goes without landing an attack on an enemy, up to a certain cap. This bonus resets every time he hits an enemy. Think Platinum's passive.

Talent 2: all his attacks ignore a specific amount of enemy resistance (reduces Arts damage by a percentage based on its number).

Asmodeus

Another one where I had to debate between two different classes that do not perform normal attacks - none of them being related to Flagbearer Vanguards, the class with the character that shares the same voice actor as Asmodeus, Elysium (even though Flagbearer Vanguards typically stop attacking normally when their skill is active). The first class is the Liberator Guards, who are far more offensive in nature (notably, this is the subclass Mlynar belongs in). The second class is the Phalanx Casters, who are much more defensive in nature. After some deliberation, I decided to go with Phalanx Casters for Asmodeus.

Phalanx Casters normally do not attack, but have greatly increased defensive stats while their skill isn't active. While their skill is active, however, they'll deal Arts damage to all enemies in their range and lose their boost to defensive stats.

Also, an important note for Asmodeus specifically. I will NOT be limiting how many times Asmodeus can use his skill, because most of the 'limited use' skills in Arknights are due to lore reasons (Guard Amiya S2 being capped at a single use in each stage as an imperfect copy of Guard Ch'en's S3, a good chunk of the Rainbow Six Siege collaboration Operators' skills having a per-deployment limit because of Rainbow Six Siege's mechanics).

Skill 1: retains a portion of his increased defense, gains an attack buff.

Skill 2: gains Invisibility, a sizeable HP regen, and both an attack and attack speed buff. Can manually deactivate this skill, reverting back to his state before using the skill.

Skill 3: increases his range and attack. Attacks will 'mark' the hit enemy and have a percentage chance to inflict Fear (enemies will scatter around and cannot be blocked). When his skill ends, every enemy marked is hit with a strong Arts damage instance. Can manually deactivate this skill, ending it instantly and reverting his state change to one before using his skill.

Talent 1: has an innate Sanctuary (cuts damage taken by a certain percentage amount), which increases the more HP he loses (up to a cap at 80% HP lost).

Talent 2: after being deployed for a period of time, gains Taunt (becomes a target priority for enemies). Reflects a portion of damage taken back at the enemy based on a percentage of his attack as Arts damage.

[captainofthetidesbreath]

Fjord's perfect mechanical build? I admit I've never really dug deep into their character sheets, could you elaborate on this?

This is going to be a high-level view of my philosophical thoughts on this, rather than a precise mechanical unpacking, because I've written a lot on Fjord's mechanics while the campaign was running (see the end of the post for a small selection) and Fjord's actually has a lot of mechanics that will take a long time to go through; though, I'm always happy to talk in detail if asked about specific aspects of his build. Also of note, @utilitycaster recently answered a question about her favorite build among CritRole PCs that discussed Fjord, and I agree with everything in that post—so that also gives further insight to my belief in Fjord being mechanically flawless. (Fjlawless?)

I hold Fjord to be mechanically perfect because his build achieves something that requires a lot of technical skill to execute, has incredible versatility allowing him flexibility and viability in pretty much every situation, strongly coheres with the overall tapestry of the party's mechanics, is informed by and develops his characterization, and has deep relationship to his narrative.

His build is thoughtful, both as a mechanical exercise but also as a means through which he is characterized. His flexibility is so extreme that it is difficult to create a scenario where Fjord cannot do anything, short of preventing him from taking actions altogether. He works very self-sufficiently as an individual and equally as well cooperatively within the context of the party. Fjord's build is also an intentional challenge for Travis as a player, who was exploring outside of his comfort zone by taking on spellcasting, which intimidated him at the time after Grog.

I also generally commend Travis on focusing so heavily on mobility. Mobility Is King, and it was rather unusual to spend as many options on a Hexadin into movement and mobility to the degree that Travis did. The almost comical number of teleportation abilities is actually very crucial to Fjord's effectiveness as a build, and, frankly, the fact that Travis has picked up so many of them shows a lot of precise understanding of variations in spell use cases.

Fjord has a strongly defined niche of his own, but his build is so flexible and robust that he is able to adapt and pivot into various roles as needed. He shares a small amount of overlap with everyone else in the party so that he can "double up" on a particular aspect (tanking, spell damage, physical damage, support casting, healing) as needed, but he never feels like he's encroaching on other people's niches. He isn't the BEST at these things, but he can play all these roles in a secondary but manner that helps the Nein respond to the changing tides of combat swiftly and often allows other individuals to do what it is they do best by alleviating pressure and giving them space to work (If you're familiar with Overwatch terminology, he often acts as the off-role, i.e. off-tank, in a flex capacity.) This level of flexibility and adaptability is incredibly difficult to do without gutting your efficiency and efficacy, but Fjord's build is able to do it.

It's especially impressive when his build is strongly influenced by and speaks to his character and narrative, as we've all done a lot of discussion on as a fandom. I do want to call out that, in addition to the narrative as a warlock and paladin, Fjord as a character is someone who devotes himself fully to supporting the group as a whole and each member individually to operate at their best, and his paladin levels as narrative have been well-discussed. It's just really difficult to built that level of precision while also maintaining a sense that all of these choices are tied to character, but Fjord feels that way—and that contributes strongly to my belief that he is mechanically perfect.

Fjord is one of the highest examples of “characterization in mechanics” in this campaign, in my opinion. - after 140, updated to incorporate some two-shot information

I really want to appreciate the way Travis played during that final combat. - after 140

Can Fjord knock out any given member of the Nein in a single turn—without critting? Level 14 Edition! - I don't think burst damage is be-all end-all, but people like to look at it. There's always calculations for maximum possible damage if given infinite prep time, but I prefer to look at what's possible in a single round bc it's truer to actual combat.

Why does Fjord need so many teleports? Or, a comparison of teleportation abilities. - To give context on this, because I mention the myriad teleports.

Small discussion on Fjord, Yasha, and Beau as having slightly different niches as melee attackers

Star Razor and how it facilitates and encourages Fjord’s range flexibility 

[sketchfanda]

Kirishima's Mystique:Babewatch

Somedays Denki wondered and worried if Mineta's libido was going to be the death of him. Now don't Ol' Jamming Whey wrong (and remember only Kyouka can call him that), he had a more than healthy appreciation for the opposite sex himself but the little grape-head was far too willing to endure great lengths of pain and humiliation to get his jollies. Small wonder the girls in their class didn't dare to risk wanting a look inside the runt's dorm room and right about now the human tazer was wondering if plucking off some of those sticky balls of his was giving him brain damage. Given what sort of plan he was looking to spring into action which he claimed was 100% guaranteed to get him some major action or if you were being a realist like kaminari?

It was an idea that reeked of sheer dumbass stupidity that would likely see Mineta at the very least get the crap beaten out of him or at the most and worst? Beaten to death, arrested and humiliated and not necessarily in that order, mind you. Now you might be asking what's got Denki so worries and Mineta more perversely impulsive than usual? Well naturally a little provision of context is in order here, folks....

The fine guys and gals of UA's class A and B were having a nice relaxing get together at the local community swimming pool one fine summer day. Said pool was being overseen by an absolute stunner of a lifeguard named Kanani who had come all the way from Hawaii on a work exchange program for a change of scenery. Now believe you me this woman was a work of sensual art, a curvy, thick and toned rich natural born islander tanned body contained within a skin-tight hugging red one piece swimsuit distinct of all in her profession. Definitely good genetics along with years of swimming and surfing topped off with a model quality face and luscious sun-kissed flowing mane of blonde hair.

She was definitely turning heads be it man or woman and who could blame them really? Now Denki among other guys was certainly fine just watching albeit with more control and a bit of politeness but Mineta? Good grief the grape head had been a bit much to deal with sharing way too many detailed, vivid scenarios about what he'd love to do to even get close to that island goddess. Which of course leads back to what was making ol' Chargebolt worry so much.

Denki:"I'm telling you man, it's just not going to work out the way you want it to…” *The electric ikemen reasoned with the grape runt. But of course he knew it was falling on deaf ears. Once Mineta listened to his libido, all bets were off. Hard to believe this guy was among the highest rated students in class on the written tests.*

Mineta:”Ooh ye of little faith, you’ll be changing your tune once I make my moves on that Hawaiian hottie.”*The human grapebowl arrogantly declared with confidence as shameless as his lust. In his mind this plan was fool proof, he saw it in this old 90s American movie. He’d fake drowning and Kanani as per her duty would dive in to save him then proceed to deliver cpr. And that was when he’d spring his trap…*

Denki however knew Murphy’s law would see to it that Mineta’s so called fool proof plan would be anything but. As he sat beside Sero who watched on curiously with him, wondering why the walking taser seemed so deadpan as they saw Mineta strut along the pool edge. Amidst the swarm of activity throughout as classes A and B enjoyed those rare welcome moments of actual student normality, Mineta shot a glance at Kanani sitting high and comfy in her lifeguard chair as she made some small talk with Mina and Maya before he smirked as he waited for his moment. Well he would’ve had it not been for what happened next.

If there was one thing to be said about the sequence of events that occured, it was like if klutziness played out as elaborate and over the top as a Rube Goldberg machine. As Mineta found himself stepping and slipping on a stray puddle, causing him to glide along the pool floor like an air hockey puck. Proceeding to crash right into the six packed abdominals of Kirishima, as the runt’s sticky balls caused him to bounce off and fly away all over the place like a pinball. Finding himself landing right in the hot tub with a splash, said tub occupied of course by Class A's own walking short fused, Bakugo who was none too pleased to find his personal relaxation time violated.

While Mineta was suffering his, quite frankly not undeserved, punishment, poor Kirishima had wound up being knocked by the grape-head into the pool. Which wouldn't be so bad had the stumbling not caused him to fall in such a way that his head had hit the edge on the way down. Rendering him knocked out as he fell in with a splash much to the shock and panic of many especially his girlfriends. Fortunately Kanani was quick to react as anyone in her profession would, exiting her perch to dive in and save him.

Now Kirishima wasn't sure if it might've been just the possible concussion of the loss of oxygen from water filling his lungs as she sank into the deep end. But as he looked up at the sky above the water, the sunlight shining down, his brain couldn't help but think as he caught sight of Kanani. Making him remark how she looked rather angelic, almost equal parts like a mermaid and an angel coming to his rescue. Certainly wasn't a bad last sight to see before his vision faded as unconsciousness claimed him, blacking out.

For a moment Kirishima had nearly wondered if this might be the end for him but he found he wasn't having his life flash before his eyes. No, rather it was his sex life as like a veritable montage, memories played of his sting of romps and fun times with Mina and Maya. Not to mention that of his many frequent erotic encounters and illicit, explicit liaisons, practically feeling their bodies against his, the tastes of their tongues and their lips on his. It all felt so very real before he cracked his eyes open, vision proceeding to un-blur and show that no, it was not a coincidence why the sensations felt so vivid.

The reason being Kanani was laying atop him, their surroundings indicating they were in the Pool’s medical room. Straddling his waist, the camel toe of her swimsuit grounding against the crotch of his swimsuit. The bulge bumping against her motions as she was pressing her lips to his, tongue exploring his mouth as it traced and memorised his sharp, pointy teeth. Not an unpleasant surprise to wake up to but certainly not expected to say the very least as she noticed he was awake, breaking their liplock with a trailing strand of saliva between them.

Kanani:*a sensual grin and blush on her sexy face as she sat up, not moving from where she sat straddling him.*"Aloha handsome, was wondering when you'd wake up. No worries, your head is fine, got a little carried away with the cpr, but I'd say your girlfriends didn't mind..."*That got the redhead’s attention as he looked to the side to see Mina and Maya sitting on a nearby bench. Sensual grins in their faces as they waved playfully, no doubt eager to watch the pending show. Before he looked back at the Hawaiian blonde bombshell who leaned close to his face, lips inches from kissing him once more.* “That being said, I think you and I both k know where this is going and I ain’t picky. Its been way too long since I got any action so tell me…you a riot in the sheets as much as on the streets?”

Kirishima’s expression became determined, his gaze passionate as he responded the way he knew best when in the presence of such a sensual woman like this. Making her gasp as he grabbed her glorious tanned booty with firm squeezes, pressing his lips to hers much to Kanani’s delight as they began to make out more properly. Tongues dancing together as the lifeguard rubbed her cameltoe against his pitched tent, her nectar flowing through the material of her swimsuit. Maya and Mina’s arousal skyrocketing as they fingered one another, making out as they watched their man once again prove his stud status.

Now for those of you wondering about the others in the meantime, they were resuming their R&R in the meantime especially after Mineta had to get hauled away on a stretcher after what Bakugo had done to him. Leaving the lifeguard plenty of privacy to enjoy the sturdy himbo as she performed in a 69 position, stroking his cock as she sucked and blew on it while he had pried the crotch portion of her swimsuit. His tongue probing away as he licked and ate out her pussy, tasting the flow of her juices while she levelled up and whipped her tits out. Sandwiching his juicy sex meat between her meaty boob buns, stroking and massaging thst length and girth with pillowy warmth.

Now if Kanani thiught this foreplay was getting her nice and wet, the moment Kirishima started to fuck her? She found him putting any and every prior man in her sex life to shame and she was loving it!! Screaming with wanton sexual desire and abandon as he fucked in a mating press. Her tanned booty jiggling with every impact of those heavy balls and that jackhammering cock dancing together in a sloppy open air game of spitswapping tonsil hockey.

Of course just the very moment he penetrated her had made he cum, orgasms rocking her so intensely that she couldn’t keep count. But any and every moment he came was a different story, the thrill and rush of his cum pouring inside her or spraying in her exotic skin the sweetest ecstasy. Of all the hunks at this pool today, talk about luck of the draw getting acquainted with an absolute unit as she continued to ride the Red Riot wave of passion. Relishing each and every shift in position and intimacy.

Kanani:”ooh fuck, oh god, You’ve cum 3 times and you haven’t pulled out once yet? You even human?”*the blonde islander babe praised as Kirishima was currently fucking her doggy style. Fully naked as her red one piece was discarded, laying in the floor as he pumped away into her snatch. Her tanned body glistening with luscious sheen of sweat, gasping with delight a the himbo stud used her arms as handle bars or firmly grabbed and pulled her glorious mane of blonde hair. Her boobs bouncing with erotic freedom as the medical bed shook and creaked.*

Mina and Maya were naked themselves of course and scissoring one another at watching their himbo teddy bear get another hottie get sexually addicted to his fuck meat. The blonde hottie screaming and howling as she was bent and twisted in a mating press and a piledriver. Before she found Kirishima really showing off those powerful muscles of his as he pumped her on his cock in a full nelson nold. Postion after postion, orgasm after orgasm and it only got spicier and wilder whe the cotton candy/bubblegum duo added the elves into the fray.

Mineta meanwhile laid in the exam room of the nearby local hospital, awaiting for someone like recovery girl to come along and heal him up. Currently heavily bandaged and mumbling at how badly his plan went wrong. Before he coils reflect any further and plan his next idea of making a move on Kanani, his cellphone buzzed as he fished it out and checked. A notification from Mina which he opened and screamed bloody murder.

Tears of blood flowing as he found his phone spammed with videos and pictures of Kirishima fucking Kanani as well as the alien queen and The shapeshifting hottie. Cursing God for making him so as once again Kirishima beat him out in terms of sex and luck with women. While Kanani was still noting her fun and making plans to get better acquainted with the chivalrous stud. Especially if he ever decided to come on down to Hawaii sometime….

[jeskoholic]

A Little Piece of You Chapter 18: Black Swan

This is a chapter from an on-going series. If you missed out on the previous entries, you can check my masterlist.

Previous chapter: The Ideal Girlfriend

Word count: 4,975

Tags: Male OC X Secret Idol, Mystery Girl, Library Girl, School Cafeteria Convo, College Scenario

Enjoy

---

Today marks another day that I spent away from United Kwangya, among all other days that I elected to do the same as well. After that one huge major event with regards to Dawn, it really opened huge ways and opportunities for me to catch up with my friends that are not from the new group chat. Yujin was a definite special case; I’ve never felt so grounded again after talking to a friend such as her. It was as if I was on another soft reset with my life that I can finally move forward with what’s given to me. Well, even with that, I still don’t know how else to come back with the rest of the group chat members, in the event that I really decide to come back anyway. Somehow the absence of closure between me and Soyeon is bothering me even in the smallest ways. I still find ways to be worried about her even if I know she’s not thinking the exact same way towards me.

I don’t exactly even know why I’m deliberately distancing myself from the group. I guess I’m shy and still possibly embarrassed with what happened with their friend but then again… it’s not as if it’s entirely their fault that we broke up. It must be a bad thing on their perspective, but I must admit that I am finding solace being away from the limelight that is them. That way I’ve been catching up on a lot of stuff that I can’t normally do when I’m with hanging out with them. The only thing bad was… how am I supposed to head back now that I feel like I’m so far off? I’m sure Kyungsoo might have gotten a bad impression towards me nowadays, especially when I practically declined all their invites for the past days the moment I lost my romantic link on the group chat. The drinking sessions were pretty understandable and yet even I repeatedly declined to share lunch with them, only to regret it later in the afternoon. That seemed to be a repeating cycle that they just halted from asking me again.

The skies were as bright as a day could possibly be. The usual carpet of clouds were absent from the early atmosphere as I boarded the train for the morning. Joohyun-noona, the hardworking woman she is, left me with a prepared meal for the day ahead as she dealt with her job so early on.

Honestly, she’s a huge reason why even with this seemingly lonely life, I don’t feel alone; being able to have some personal space with myself felt so powerful because of everything that was happening around me.

Here I sat again close towards the window of the train watching as the soft scenery pass by in front of me. With the soft barrage of ballad music, of course the idiot in me could feel like it was a scene from a drama, or for that context it was from those sad music videos. All of the things I’ve done to lead up to this point had started to come unto me or I guess everything just started to sink in. Listening to sad songs this early in the morning really was a bad idea but I can’t seem to get rid of it.

Nevertheless, I exited the terminal that morning feeling rather downtrodden. It was ironic, considering I was initially so enthusiastic to leave the apartment earlier that day for a bright morning stroll. Now, I feel like I am at that rainy breakup day again. It was one of those times that your inner consciousness start to get the better of you, with all the actions you did out of impulse starting to sink its teeth onto your skin, making you wonder if it was the right decision; including how different your life had headed to in case you chose the other path.

What the hell am I doing?

I need to fix this mood I intentionally created later within the day because I can’t stay like this until I go home. It would be worse than having to control an uncontrollable mood swing, especially when I don’t have that much of people to talk to. Considering most of my days recently were either anchored on studying (and eventually sleeping) at the school library or doing the exact opposite of that and heading on off a net café and play with Hyojong for what it’s worth… I just might do the latter to shake my mind off of things. I’m veering off into dangerous territory that I don’t have plans on visiting anyway.

“Finding a perfect person definitely involves a bound of luck as well as a good stroke of fate. You’ll never know when you’ll meet her, or if you’ve even met her already. The range of your destiny could be someone you’ve already spent a long time being with to someone you accidentally tripped over on the way home. It’s easier once you let your heart welcome it instead of your mind.”

I guess that works out like that. Of course, Yujin’s voice coming out of nowhere was a good plus especially on a time like this. Odd, but definitely welcome; it was better than me just indulging on my own thoughts.

Man, what am I even thinking about? I did those things for a reason. I’m here in my situation now because I chose it. I just need to keep things together and move on with what’s ahead. Yujin said it herself; it’s easier if I let my heart lead me instead of my mind. I seem to be using my head a lot recently, so I might as well think with my heart, I guess.

I made a mental note to message Hyojong to hang out on later on that day, as well as a reminder to not listen to sad, lonely songs when boarding a train in the morning. I hope that I won’t repeat this really drying start of a day anytime soon.

---HOURS LATER---

Considering he never really wrought plans to join anyone else in the lunch, as the noon approached, Yoon Jae-in struggled once again to find an eatery that would serve two purposes for him: be as quiet and as peaceful as it could in order for him to continue the series he began to watch, while in turn be on a secluded place that he can spend it peacefully without anyone recognizing him. In his head, he already was on utmost priority to finish the series, so he might as well go all in and generate a good atmosphere for himself. Of course, he had to give another excuse to Shinwon. As much as it really did not feel good to be shutting out on his original friends from high school, he wanted to think of it as some sort of a ‘recovery period’ even if there was not entirely anything he wanted to recover from, particularly on that doomed relationship with Jeon Soyeon.

Also, Jae-in managed to recover the mess of a mind he had earlier that day that he wanted to reward himself of what he originally intended to do earlier in the morning.

Yoon Jae-in exited the school library after spending the free time catching some unnecessary sleep, with the place unintentionally being his new best friend on recent days. Of course, with his last encounter on the school’s local athenaeum ending on an awkward note, it was bound for himself to be cautious. However, there was a part of him that hoped to see the girl he bumped once again; not to continue talking to her but to apologize on a better note and not on a short rush. It did felt like a stretch, including most of the thought he’s been putting just to evade the encounter with his friends, but he still wanted to count on the chances it came with.

That day, however, fate had other plans for him.

Noon approached on the clock and Jae-in still had no real idea where else he could spend the lunch on. All of the places he’s been through felt very dull on his taste buds with how often he’s been going there recently. His body, especially his tongue, craved more than just a similar taste. In a quick decision to cut all thought of places to head on to, he went with possibly the least interesting place to in for a North Liner: The school cafeteria.

Going back to NLIU’s cafeteria with his recent memory of Soyeon’s breakup there was perhaps the least motivating thing to have with him. However, in that current moment it was the most plausible option. Not only was it conveniently nearer than anywhere else, but also given a good spot he was practically invisible to the rest of the school. At least for that day, he could do and watch the planned series to let time pass a bit better. The best part was if it would unfold uninterrupted.

However, it was already established that fate had different plans for him. The chances of Yoon Jae-in getting what he wanted that day were as slim as it could get.

Apparently, the day he decided to head onto the cafeteria was also the day that the school’s athletes were practicing hard for the respective inter-school games. That unfortunately unleashed a huge load of people towards the cafeteria for their exclusive lunch courtesy of the university itself. With such a huge privilege given to them, Jae-in could see why most of the white-walled architecture of the cafeteria began to be filled with jerseys and uniforms of mixed white, blue, and gold scattered all throughout. It was difficult to even check on a vacant seat and table with the flood of student athletes all over the place. Jae-in could only imagine the non-athlete students already occupying the tables to be there way before the commotion even began.

Well, I guess things really went south this day. I don’t want to go to another place because I’m already feeling my stomach curl out of hunger, so I have no choice but to endure it.

Is there a place to eat here though?

As much as the place was filled with noises and commotion that he could even barely follow through, the queue line towards the lunch was far more open that he initially thought. In fact, he was not even standing five minutes onto the queue of four people ahead of him before he finally got to order. It was about in just a moment’s notice that he finally had a tray of seafood and all the good stuff that came with it. Now comes the harder, probably most important part of that lunch out which was looking for a seat to eat comfortably. But like anyone else, Jae-in thought that perhaps walking around like an idiot holding a tray of food on his hands ought to shake some of the occupants already sitting there, especially those who are done and have no business to be there any further in hopes of giving the seat to someone who actually needs it.

He persistently walked around the cafeteria but to no avail. It was perhaps where the canteen received the full saturation of the athletes, as everyone one else were seated in threes or fours with a potential vacant seat filled with all their bags stacked on top of each other. The only real option was to walk upward, ascending the metal stairs that headed to the second floor. Similar to most of the aesthetic of the university, it was a typical loft design wide enough to have two tables to stay close to each other, while still maintaining that wide spread view to the ocean of blue and white below.

Jae-in scanned the place once again, this time most of the seats were at least occupied by his fellow, non-university sports-affiliated colleagues. Despite that, most of the place was still filled with a lot of people with their friends and left no real opening spots for him to even dine with. As he treaded towards the other half of the overlooking terrace, he started to lose hope and begin to get desperate; wondering if there’s at least a good amount of people there who would not mind a third or a fourth stranger eating in the same table with them. He never thought that actually looking for a seat on the place he seldom went to would end up to be that stressful.

And then he found it.

There was a table at perhaps the farthest, most hidden corner of the cafeteria that only housed a single person with a vacant seat next to them. The table, for the most part, was filled with various papers and fairly familiar book covers. Jae-in turned towards the person seated… and his shoulders immediately sank.

…Or rather, his heart skipped a beat because he instantly recognized who the person was. He, however, did not expect to see her on a place like that, precisely on a time like that as well. Perhaps fate’s playful string-pulling brought him to that exact time to meet her once again.

This is going to get awkward, but I have no other choice. I’m already hungry and I need a seat.

Jae-in closed his eyes, gave one last sliver of encouragement for himself and then proceeded to head on off ahead to speak to the girl in a rather shivering voice.

“Umm… excuse me… do you mind if I take a seat…?”

---

My heart was pounding so hard inside my ribcage I could already feel it bursting out of my body. Who knew that asking for a small favour took all my courage into doing so? It kinda shows that I don’t do this too often to get practice.

Maybe she’d recognize me…. I don’t know if it’s better that she did or she didn’t.

As much as it took almost all of my effort to even ask that question out, the girl seated opposite me sat silently, clearly occupied on whatever she was writing on the table. Upon closer inspection I realized that she had her ears covered with earphones; the constant supply of music perhaps cleverly eliminating all sorts of noise that came from the cafeteria. It was probably something I would do as well, so I was not really surprised that she didn’t hear me. Well, the problem was how to reiterate the same message without sounding really rude. The girl was so immersed in summarizing a text from a book, including drawing what looked to me as interconnected hexagons; a discarded scientific calculator lay next to her papers housing a solution with eight decimal places after a scientific notation.

I moved to gently tap on the surface of the table, just enough to get my message across while not being entirely brash about it at the same time. She seemed to have gotten my message as she raised her head up, revealing a really beautiful face hidden behind huge, thin-rimmed spectacles as well as a crown of wavy, black hair. Her face was small, enveloping an eye-catching visual composed of a small face, heart-shaped lips and small details of beauty marks that added to her really alluring presence. She supplied me with a completely innocent and inquiring gaze which quickly unfolded into self-consciousness when she realized that I stood there with a food tray on my hand.

“Y-yes…?” she said with that same, soft-toned voice, almost barely even audible with the crowd of the cafeteria below. “Can I help you?”

“U-umm… sorry for disturbing you b-but… the r-rest of the place is full so I wonder… I w-was wondering if you’re with someone else…”

Holy shit my voice is creaking so hard I feel like I’m going to faint. How do I make it sound as if I’m not hitting on her?

“I mean… you’re the only table w-with f-free chairs so I w-wonder if there’s s-someone else… everywhere e-else is f-full so…”

The girl’s humble yet confused gaze lingered on my eyes for a good while before she caught of the situation and nodded softly. Her eyebrows rose as she did with her body, straightening herself up from the slightly slouched position she was in previously.

“Oh, of course… P-please go ahead. I’m not with s-someone. Please take a seat.”

“T-thank you…”

I was really relieved to find out that she was alone, but now that I was offered the free seat while she moved the rest of her books to give me space, I felt so shy all of a sudden. My body moved ever so slowly to fit my butt onto the stool, and I could have sworn my entire being was shaking down to my very core. I never figured that it was way more awkward to sit opposite her after just interrupting her out of the blue. She seemed so concentrated before I shook her off of her trance.

What should I do now?

Do I talk to her even if know that she’s working on something?

I placed my tray over the space she cleared for me and awkwardly shifted my chopsticks to begin eating. Initially, I expected her to delve back right into the work that she was doing and pay no mind to my presence there, which was fine by my part considering I was the one sharing a table with her. However, she instead shifted her gaze from the tables that surrounded us before knitting her eyebrows in another expression of confusion.

“Umm… I t-think you were d-doing something… P-please don’t m-mind me. I’ll m-make sure that I won’t make any noise, whatsoever.”

“Oh, no, please don’t think about it that way,” she said with a wave of her hand and then supplying me with a very gummy smile. “I am just surprised with how crowded the place had been since I came here. I have lost track of time since I ate about an hour ago.”

She’s been here for an hour?

“Yeah about that… there’s an event and the canteen is teeming with school athletes for their lunch. You know… athlete privileges and all that… Umm… t-the tables below were pretty much occupied by t-them so I… I came up here…”

“That’s… wow… I’m sorry for not responding to you on the first time,” she once again said. “I thought you were just passing by close to my table… I did not intend myself to be rude for not responding immediately or anything…”

“Oh no, please don’t… it’s totally fine. I’m… I’m already comfortably seated here so… I guess it is okay.”

Fuck, it feels so awkward to eat right next to her. It’s as if I just woke her up and there’s nothing she could do afterwards.

A prolonged and awkward silence ensued after that exchange, which mostly revolved around her organizing the stuff that ended up being messy while she was studying. It looked pretty normal to me, but with how frantic she was on gathering the right things to put on her bag, I thought that she was already leaving. I had that idea until her organizing eventually ended on a single notebook as well as a pen placed over the table. I felt really awkward paying attention to her that long that I merely focused back on my meal.

And then, the tables were turned. As I moved to eat the rest of my lunch, she already had her eyes planted on me. Her gaze was so strong that I could feel my senses tingling.

I raised my head up and our eyes immediately met. This time, her expression was curiosity painted over her face. She eyed me with concern yet it was so full of inquiry.

I really don’t know what else to respond to that so I just smiled and hope that I didn’t get any residue food sauce on my mouth as well as of my face.

Don’t make this weird. I have to ask her something.

“Is… is everything alright?” I asked out of curiosity as well as wonder.

“Oh umm… sorry… I… sorry if I stared too long but… okay, I need to ask you because you look so familiar… I feel like we’ve met somewhere that I just could not remember, but I could be wrong. Have we met before?”

There it is. I’m glad that she opened it up. At least it would make this conversation a lot less awkward…

“Actually we have… I’m actually the guy that bumped you at the library before.”

---

The young girl’s eyes widened in surprise, apparently dropping the pen she was holding down towards the surface of the table. She held her mouth with her right hand as she supplied Yoon Jae-in with a look of utmost shock.

“Omo, is that true? Are you really that guy from the library?”

“I… well I am,” Jae-in replied with a chuckle, mimicking her movements by placing his chopsticks on the now-empty food tray. “It’s… honestly it was a part of the reason why I elected to… to interact. I figured it would not be entirely that… first of a meeting, I guess…”

“Oh my, I’m so sorry I didn’t recognize you! I knew you had that sense of familiarity with you, and that you’re not just someone who had a familiar face to begin with… I knew it. I knew that I talked to you from somewhere; I just can’t quite put my finger on when we talked. Oh my, I should have known!”

“No, no, it’s fine… it was just easier for my part, I guess. It’s no big deal. Besides, you seem to be more…”

Jae-in glanced towards the bag that she had with her.

“…You seemed to be more occupied on a lot of stuff than me, so there’s that as well.”

Jae-in’s so-called ‘library girl’ returned his statement with another gummy smile, unconsciously tucking her hair behind her right ear until she eventually excused it with a soft head scratch.

“It’s… it’s nothing… It’s crazy that… that we met almost in the exact same way. We saw each other again when I’m occupied with all my academic stuff… you must think that I’m a book worm or something…”

“If that’s the case I don’t really think that it’s necessarily bad… plus, I don’t really think that way. We’re all looking for some ways to study, right? I guess I’ll just have to thank that you’re not doing it at the library during this time. At lease I got a seat for it.”

 “I can’t agree more to that… otherwise you’d end up eating while standing, right?”

With that, the pair of them smiled at each other and then proceeded to laugh.

I’m feeling so strangely at ease with this conversation. It’s amazing.

“So,” Jae-in opened up, now in better confidence with the comfort of the conversation. “I recognized some books you had a while back; including those when I accidentally collided into you before… are you studying in engineering as well?”

She nodded in response, rather enthusiastically that time which was followed oddly by a short silence.

“Yeah… I’m taking Chemical Engineering. How ‘bout you; are you in engineering as well?”

“Actually I am… I don’t think it shows that much but I actually am.”

“Ah, I had that impression about you. What major?”

“Haven’t quite decided yet but I’m heavily leaning towards Mechanical. It kind of interests me to do so.”

“I see… if you’re still not decided, does that mean you’re in your second year?”

“Umm… yeah…? You talk… as if you’re… not… are you?”

Jae-in’s  library girl nodded silently and rather softly, carefully retreating from her chair as she moved to recline on the backrest, all while taking her glasses off in the process. She then rested her elbow on the table’s surface and proceeded to support her chin with her palm. It was, especially to Jae-in, an act that was unexpectedly cute; quite more emphasized on the curiously amused expression that came with it. However, it made things a bit awkward in the silence, not until she finally spoke once again.

“I think, judging by the subjects alone, that I’m actually a year older than you… I can’t be sure.”

Oh, is that right?

Wait…

Fuck, I’ve been talking so informally since I began to sit with her!

I didn’t know that she was my noona!

“Oh sorry n—“

“Wait, I know what you’re thinking and don’t proceed with it,” Library Girl interrupted while raising the hand that was not under her chin. “It is fine and I didn’t find you rude. It made the conversation a lot easier to follow as well. And no, you don’t need to change how you talk to me. I’m quite young, maybe started school earlier than most would so I bet if I’m older than you, then it maybe just be a couple of months so no big deal.”

“A-are you sure about that…? It would not be weird…?”

She shook her head.

“It would be weirder if you decide to call me ‘noona’ now that I just asked you to drop it, wouldn’t it? It’s okay. I really don’t mind.”

“Okay then…”

RING

Whatever saves Jae-in thought after that sudden revelation, it was immediately flushed down the drain as he was interrupted by the school bell. Clearly, it was the hourly school reminder bell, quite more prominent now that he was in the main building of the campus. It was so shrill and loud that it stunned his ears for a short bit while it lasted.

To his surprise, Library Girl actually moved to gather the final pieces of her school supplies into one pile and carefully placed them back on the bag, along with the other books and research notes she had when Jae-in first arrive there. She then proceeded to brush her shirt clean, shook her hair off in waves to even them out, and then proceeded to speak to Jae-in once again.

“It was nice to finally meet you, but I’m afraid that I’ll have to go now. I actually was staying here to kill time because I have a bit of a free time before my subject. So, at least then you can enjoy the table to yourself.”

“Oh, no worries… thank you for letting me sit down and chat for a bit. At least I didn’t bump you again.”

She chuckled

 “At least this time, we mutually bumped into each other, right?”

She finally stood up and supplied him a smile once more like it was a farewell, and then moved to pick up her food tray devoid of dishes left waiting on the side.

“Wait, wait,” Jae-in interrupted. “Please just leave that. I’ll take care of it once I turn in mine. It’s just the least I can do to thank you for letting me share the table with you. I got this.”

“Alright, alright,” she replied as she withdrew her outstretched hand from the tray. “I appreciate that. You don’t really need to thank me, but I appreciate it nonetheless. I’ll be the one to thank you. I’ll be heading off then. Please enjoy your day!”

Jae-in and the aforementioned Library Girl mutually bowed in courtesy with the young girl replacing the chair she used back on the table’s seat. She then turned around the round perimeter of the table and passed Yoon Jae-in one last time, moving towards the very entrance path that he came in almost half an hour ago.

And then there was a jolt to the young man’s mind. For a split second, he felt his heart stop upon realizing a very vital thing he nearly missed on that very encounter.

“Wait, please wait,” he said once again. That time he finally rose from his chair and darted towards the young girl in attempt to still reach her. Luckily for him, she hadn’t really picked up her pace yet and the two of them met quite a few tables away from where they originally sat on. The Library Girl turned in place to face him once more, her eyes in visible confusion as her face was held in inquiry.

“Sorry,” Jae-in began with nod. “I didn’t get your name last time because I was in such a rush. I can’t just remember you to be the Library Girl from now on, can I?”

She chuckled in response, quite amused with the ample nickname given to her.

“That would be funny if you did remember me that way,” she replied as she finally stretched her hand, offering a handshake to Yoon Jae-in.

“I’m Mina… Myoui Mina. It’s nice to meet you…?”

“Jae-in… Yoon Jae-in…” he finished for her, taking the outstretched hand of Myoui Mina to finally shake it, honestly having her soft palms rest against his to be quite a relieving sensation.

“Yoon Jae-in… okay; I’ll remember that. I’ll make sure to remember you the next time we see each other as well. I’ll see you around, Jae-in. Please take care.”

“See you around, Mina.”

And then he stood there, watching the figure of the one Myoui Mina he just met withdrew her hand and pace out of the cafeteria after him. He didn’t café if he looked weird standing in the middle of the busy crowd or in the view of the currently dining students; he simply had that unexplainable elation upon finally knowing the name of the said girl from the library, finally having a face as well as a name he could include to his memory.

Myoui Mina… that’s a really beautiful name…

Next Chapter: One-Eyed Owl

[broomsick]

A few personal thoughts concerning Marvel, and deity depictions in pop culture

I will first and foremost start by saying that when it comes to pop culture depictions of Loki, Floki Vilgerðarson seems a lot closer to the deity’s true character than Marvel’s Loki, in my opinion. It’s his laid-back mannerisms but cryptic nature that do it for me. For whatever reason, some pagans still like to establish parallels between Loki as a deity and the shallow depiction Marvel makes of him, though when you observe the two even remotely, they really have nothing in common. Still, pop culture will be pop culture, and we cant expect for non-pagan writers, scenarists and the like to depict deities in the same manner as we pagans would, for the reason that they simply don’t believe in these deities. A fictional work will have to forego certain ties to myth (in the case of Floki Vilgerðarson, symbolism that tie him with the deity Loki) for the sake of scenario.

Now, the major difference between these two depictions is their purpose, or base intent, and it’s what makes me to slightly prefer Vikings’ Floki as a deity depiction. The thing is, establishing a few parallels between him and the deity without ever clearly stating that he does embody the deity creates quite a subtle result. Members of the audience who are familiar with the norse myths will recognize right away that Floki serves as representation of this deity, while those who aren’t, perceive him simply as another character among the cast. In fact, one could observe that in many instances, Floki plays the same role within the narrative of Vikings as Loki within the myths. This makes for quite the interesting parallel and, by never clearly highlighting this symbolism, the show leaves Floki’s ties with Loki to interpretation. This, in my opinion, is quite the clever way to depict a deity. So much so that one could think the writers of the show were aware of neo-paganism as a modern practice. They treated Ragnar Lothbrok’s character in the same manner, often emphasizing his resemblance with Óðinn, but never truly asserting it.

On the other hand, in terms of purpose, Marvel’s Loki has never had any pretense of being even remotely close to the deity of the myths, which makes him a very wobbly inspiration for new pagans to picture Loki. Unfortunately, this seems to be a tendency which sticks on many social media platforms. Which is why I think a crucial step in research within the context of pagan belief is to entirely detach oneself from pop culture depictions. This might sound obvious, but I have often witnessed pagans base their opinions of deities upon pop culture, whether they’d been aware of it or not. For example, I have once seen someone tell me they wouldn’t ever respect Thórr or his worshippers, because he was, and I quote, a “prime example of toxic masculinity”. Which, to me, is quite contradictory, considering how his historical worship was more often than not centered around fertility of the crops and non-violent concepts. Plus, his role as a sort of “warrior” deity in the myths is far from unique. In fact, many norse deities have been depicted as warriors in the myths, and Thórr is far from alone in that matter. Hence, the idea of his “toxic masculinity” does seem to stem from pre-conceived ideas created by pop culture. Which is why as I’ve mentioned, it was extremely important on my spiritual journey that I draw a clear line between deities and their pop culture depictions, no matter how accurate, and no matter if the deities concerned were believed to appreciate these depictions.

It is, of course, easy to subconsciously associate a deity with their pop culture counterpart and it would be an impossible task to not find parallels between the two, especially if attention was given to respecting mythology. For this reason, I don’t and will never try to avoid tv shows, games or movies that depict the Gods. Enjoying such content is not disrespectful in the slightest, in my opinion. The name “God of Outcasts” has, for example, become commonplace in pagan circles despite having been created from scratch by Marvel, for Marvel’s Loki. In this case, however, I believe the name does no harm at all. In fact, it seems quite popular among pagans, so much so that many aren’t aware it even stemmed from pop culture. One could see the name as respectful of the myths and for this reason, I believe it’s entirely harmless for worshippers of Loki such as me to use it within their practices, as long as awareness is kept concerning the fact that his has little ties with historical practice. Such a practice is among the perks of neo-paganism being centered around the individual and their ability to nurture their own belief! The only hazard I find to be worrisome, when it comes to pop culture and its depictions of deities, is when one’s idea of a deity starts to blend with a fictional depiction, and when the fictional character starts to have precedence over the deity.

[rubia-peregrinart]

Hey I just saw your shitposting with Laurence and Amelia as Lion King refs, this is hilarious XD That made me think of a question though! The both descriptions of Gold Pendant and official BB guide state that there were generations of Vicars between Laurence and Amelia 🤔 How many of them do you think were here? You have some OCs for these spots? And if yes, and Amelia was already a baby within the Church walls, what was her relationship with other vicars predating her while she is growing up?

i haven't even seen that movie but the jokes write themselves :pensive clown:

To be honest yeah this is something I overlooked until recently ! And to be honest² uuuuhhhh... my take on that is probably gonna go somewhat against canon, I mean if it really speaks in generations then canon probably didn't mean for Laurence and Amelia to have been alive at the same time at all. But the idea was Important to me,,,

Unless they meant generations as in... one vicar after the other, each with short "reigns", rather than age ? Because BB as we know it likely spans over less than a century, if Gehrman aging within the Dream is any indication, so there couldn't have been that many,, but also i'm notoriously bad with ages and time so it's wholly possible that i'm just screwing myself over sgdhfjghkj

NOW with this said, first for a bit of context - I hc that Amelia was spotted early on in the Orphanage as one of those kids with naturally high insight AND decent frenzy resistance (i have that hc for Viola and her younger daughter as well). Perhaps she had quality blood as well, but either way, Laurence chose her early on as her successor. It doesn't reflect in my drawings here, but he was already starting to slip at the time, so it was HUGELY convenient too lmao

And what I have for now, which is fresh and still under construction, is what I've introduced with my take on the Cleric Beast we fight in-game here ! Instead of one (line of) Vicar(s) between the two, there was a council of sorts that served as Laurence's surrogates during his absences in Cathedral Ward. Of course, "absences" include "brutal and premature death to beasthood" and Amelia was like five back then.

Again I'm still thinking about it, but if I had to pick at least one to be Vicar I guess it'd be Norbert here, as I prefer to re-use existing characters as much as possible. I haven't thought about the kind of man he was yet and by extension his relationship to Amelia, but among the council you could have differing scenarios towards her. Some would be kind, if they knew her as a child and grew fond, but there would definitely be at least one planning to take the power for themself and try to get her killed before she was of age ! In fact, I just had the idea that this one would get killed by Henriett (then a church huntress and Amelia's... really good friend), and that's why she had to leave afterwards. X)

[deathbydarkelves]

In your AU you talk about calling Common "Human" instead. Why is that? Also, wouldn't something like Stormwindian or Elwynnian make the most sense considering how other languages like Night Elf are Darnassian?

(Disclaimer: I am not a linguist.)

Short answer: I don’t find the semi-colonial implications of a “common language”/lingua franca in any fantasy setting very fun to think about (at least when they're literally not explored at all). I also feel it cheapens interactions between characters from wildly different places. I understand why a “Common” must exist in video games and RPGs. Your players need to be able to communicate. But in the context of writing and even specific RP scenarios, I think excluding a true lingua franca allows for more creativity in inter-character interactions as they try to navigate that. It also gives more weight to multilingual characters being multilingual.

Long answer:

I simply don’t like the idea of a global lingua franca in fantasy and… in general honestly lol. Again, I understand WHY they need to exist in video games and RPGs like D&D, but I find it much more interesting and realistic to exclude them. And again, this is certainly something more suited for writing than MMOs.

The EXISTENCE of a lingua franca on a global scale — by my non-linguist understanding — relies on some sort of colonial history and/or a global, instant communication system. Azeroth doesn’t have an internet, and I just… don’t like colonialism. Crazy take, I know.

My narratives recognize the Alliance as imperialists unlike Blizzard’s, so it’s not like I took that out of the picture. They are absolutely colonialists lol and that is absolutely something that must be dealt with in my AU. I just didn’t want their influence to be that far-reaching, because honestly, I find that sad and unfun to think about. I do use WoW and this AU for escapism, among other things, so some decisions are motivated in part by that.

SO, I made Common a non-universal language and renamed it to Human to subtly imply that. I went with “Human” because many other languages in similar fantasy settings are named after the races that natively speak them and not the country (see: Dwarvish, Orcish*). It fit in a lot better to just go with that. Worth mentioning though! It does have regional dialects, some of which are so different they could really be considered separate languages. But they all originated from a group of humans, so they’re put under that umbrella. I suppose it’s more like a family of languages in that case then, like I made Zandali…

((*on that note, Orcish also isn’t universally spoken within the Horde.))

So yes, there would be a Stormwindian/Elwynnian dialect and an Alteraci dialect, etc. The Stormwindian dialect is probably most common because of the existence of the Alliance and of Stormwind’s place as a major trade city. Many dwarves in Ironforge speak that dialect, but inversely, many Stormwindians also speak Dwarvish (which also has its own dialects. All the languages in my AU have dialects to some extent). Or at the very least they’ll use Dwarvish words and expressions even while speaking Human. Like I’m doing right now with Italian (“lingua franca”).

There are mages who make livings off knowing translation spells (and even those can only translate literally). Travelers and traders are by necessity going to know the trade languages, Stormwindian Human being one of them (if we’re talking about the Alliance). But the average, non-human person very well might not.

I’ll end that whole ramble with a specific example of an OC story that couldn’t have worked if I went with Common as a true lingua franca: Cathala was stranded on Pandaria for about fifty years pre-MoP, and she had to learn Pandaren to get by. Eventually she all but forgot how to speak Darnassian. It’s a major point in her story when she meets Tarinne and Tarinne helps her relearn Darnassian. If I went by the game’s logic, there would’ve been almost no need for Cathala to learn Pandaren, and no need for her to relearn Darnassian. Which just feels so flat to me, and would take away a huge part of the foundation of hers and Tarinne’s relationship. Additionally, Cathala’s character heavily focuses on finding identity, and that whole history with language is a large part of it.

So TL;DR I renamed Common to Human as part of reducing its presence as a global lingua franca, which is key to the stories I want to tell.

[much-ado-about-whumping]

Commissions Open for Writing and RP

Hello, darlings! I'm currently taking commissions for whump pieces (including/especially nsfwhump) and real-time whump roleplay over Discord!

Not all of my work will include nsfw content, but just to be safe, commissions are only open to readers age 18 and older.

Interested? Read on! (18+ only below the cut)

Who I am:

If we've already met, nice to see you! If we haven't, welcome! I'm Bellamy (he/they), a queer and transgender writer with a dark imagination and a passion for sparking whumperflies. I love writing all angles of whump scenarios, from whumper to whumpee to caretaker, and I have a real knack for getting under your skin and figuring out what's going to take your breath away.

What I'll write:

Broad Content: I especially like to write nsfwhump (that is, whump where the abuse is sexual in context or nature), with an emphasis on whump genre tropes around caretaking, rescue, and recovery. I'm also happy to write sfw whump, as well as the kind of nsfwhump that blurs the line between a whump piece with some sexual content and an erotica piece with some whump content. (If you’d like to see the more erotica-leaning version of this ad, you can find it at reddit here. Please note that this is in an 18+ only subreddit.)

Tropes: I’m partial to whump stories that involve a kind of total control over the whumpee’s life – things like kidnapping, imprisonment, non-chattel slavery, pet whump, and BBU-style dynamics are always interesting to me. I love long and complicated recoveries, trauma that feels cyclical, and complicated whumper/whumpee relationships. I also love the kind of whump where something about a character seems to be working against them – for instance, I’m always excited about stories in which the whumpee has powers or abilities that push away or endanger the people they love, or that are used to justify harm coming to the whumpee.

I’m super interested in communication, and I also love fish-out-of-water whump – stories in which a whumpee’s position is further imperiled because of a language or culture barrier are extremely fun and interesting to me.

Kinks: I have a lifelong love of stories centered around non-consent.* Within the fantasy of the commission or roleplay, that could be a fully non-consensual encounter, a consensual non-consent (cnc) kink scene between willing partners, or a scene that happens without consent but leaves the whumpee feeling blissed-out and conflicted. I’m into a wide range of BDSM kinks, and I especially love huge, impossible insertions, overstimulation, gangbangs, cumflation, breeding, monster-fucking, and other kinks that are about pushing the whumpee's limits, physical or emotional. I'm also game if the violence gets extreme. (You want the whumpee's pelvis broken under a giant werewolf whumper? I'm down for that.) I'm also willing to explore some scary identity-based scenarios under some circumstances - for instance, if you're a queer or trans person looking for fantasies of corrective rape or abuse, I'm open to talking more to see if that’s something we can (relatively) safely write together.

And there's a wide variety of kinks that are less central to my experience, but that I would be enthusiastically willing to explore. In general, I'm extremely game to try new things, even if they're taboo; if you have something in particular on your wishlist, let's talk about it! I promise to be non-judgmental about what turns you on and honest about what I think I can write well.

*Note: A word about fantasies of rape and abuse - they're extremely common and normal, both among the general population and among survivors in particular. It's very common for people to eroticize things they're afraid of, or things they're processing. This can be true even if you fantasize about being the perpetrator – brains are complicated! If you're feeling ashamed about this kink, please know that there's no need to be.

Character Types: I can write a broad variety of character types, but I'm especially good at two:

A brutal, bitch-breaking whumper with the strength of a linebacker, the patience of a power-tripping cop, and the eagle-eye for vulnerabilities of a middle-school bully, and,

A resilient, sharp-edged whumpee, cold and clever and sparkling, and shattering like glass when they break.

Those are my favorites, but there's a world of options. Some other favorites include innocent ingenue whumpees that break open at once, oblivious whumpers that do half their damage through neglect, clever and accommodating whumpees who try to survive through harm reduction, and slow, subtle whumpers who feign affection and gentleness while perpetrating violence. I also love, love, LOVE a stoic whumpee.

I've written characters across a broad universe of genders and orientations, and I'm happy to explore whatever identities tickle your fancy. I'd consider queer and trans characters a specialty, and I'm also happy to play with gender with cis characters.

Genres: I'm happy to work with a real-world/modern setting, but I'm also super fond of historical fiction, high fantasy, and sci-fi elements.

Hard Limits:

No underage whumpees. (I know that people sometimes want to write whump and/or erotic content featuring underage characters for some of the same healing/processing reasons I outlined above that can foster an interest in darker stories in general. I’m not condemning that; people heal and grow in a variety of ways, and the choices about how they do so can be deeply complex and personal. I’m just placing a limit on what ideas I’m willing to explore with other people; sexual stories featuring underage characters are not among them.)

No underage clients. I will not write with or for any client under the age of 18, and I will block you if you ask me to. Even if the age of majority in your area is lower than that, I need to make my rules based on the age of majority where I live.

No bad caretakers. For some reason, this is one whump trope I just really can’t get into. I can write imperfect caretakers, and I can absolutely write creepy comfort, but I won’t write a person being deliberately clumsy and unkind while trying to comfort the whumpee. (Accidental mistakes/growing together are different – those are fine.)

How it works:

Consultations: Not sure if you’d like to write together? Set up a free 15-minute new customer consultation! We can chat over Discord about what you’re looking for and whether we’ll be good fits for each other.

Brainstorming: I charge a reduced rate for the time we spend talking about what you’d like, whether we’re planning our roleplay or sketching out the parameters of your commission. The first 30 minutes of talking about details is free; after that, brainstorming together is priced at $20/hour.

Roleplay: I do paid roleplays in real-time for $22/hour. This means that you book time at my hourly rate and we write together over Discord during that time. Of course, you may not always know exactly how long a roleplay will take – that makes sense! We’ll make our best estimate together. If things get exciting and you’d like to go longer, I’ll be happy to accommodate you unless the extension conflicts with another booking. If our time estimate is incorrect, we’ll settle the balance at the end of the session. If we’re writing for more than an hour over our estimated time, I’ll pause to check in and ask you to pay an additional installment to book the extra time.

Commissions: I write commissioned pieces for $0.04/word, starting at 250 words. We’ll agree on an estimated timeline for the piece, beginning at three calendar days. Pending availability, I also offer rush 24-hour turnaround for an additional $35.

Payment: I accept payment via CashApp, Ko-Fi, PayPal, and Venmo. I request payment for half the booking up-front, and you pay the other half at the end.

Other things to know about me:

I've done a lot of research about the ways in which people can use storytelling, especially in the form of sexual fantasies, to process and move through trauma. I'm not a therapist, but I am a survivor of some kinds of abuse and violation myself; I've always worked through my experiences this way, and I'm really interested in the ways that fantasies and playing pretend can put agency and control back in survivors' hands. This interest shows up for me in the area of sexual violence, as well as in the areas of identity-based violence like homophobia and transphobia. If you like to play with fire, please know that you can trust me to play responsibly with you. I'm highly focused on consent, check-ins, and aftercare, especially when I'm writing the whumper. I will take good care of you. That's important to me.

How to reach me:

Elsewhere on the internet, I go by the pen-name James St. Sebastian and write for Shapeshifter Stories. You can reach me via DM on tumblr @much-ado-about-whumping, via DM or chat on reddit at u/jamstseb, via Discord at #shapeshifterstories, or via email at sierralimauniformtango@protonmail.com. (Of these, Discord is often the most immediate way to reach me.)

Please feel free to message any time, whether I appear online or off; sometimes I may appear busy or offline when I’m already booked up, but I’ll be happy to reply to your message as soon as I’m available.

[askagamedev]

A common talking point among game critics is in the game devs' visions and if it was compromised in some way. What do you feel constitutes the developers vision as talked about by game hobbyists?

I think "the developers vision, as talked about by game hobbyists" usually means whatever the particular game hobbyist likes or believes in most. To my knowledge, humans don't really have the ability to read other humans' minds with any accuracy, so actually knowing what the dev team's vision was during development is essentially impossible for those on the outside. Instead, most gaming hobbyists will project their own desires and thinking onto the dev team because most people are not very good at trying to see things from alternate perspectives.

In my observation, the more vocal pundits like to imagine a "heroes vs villains" scenario where the noble development team is fighting against the dastardly publisher at every turn in order to bring their pure vision of gaming goodness to the masses while being foiled by the publisher's selfish and greedy demands. There's no room for nuance, like budgets, schedules, technical limitations, resource limitations, licensing requirements, and the like within this story. This oversimplified fantasy is where the imagined "developers' vision" idea usually comes from. They want to believe... so they do.

In reality, the developer vision for the game necessarily changes because it has to. Maybe the original idea didn't work out the way we thought it would, maybe it couldn't fit into the schedule, maybe the team didn't have the necessary expertise to make it work, maybe we found something else along the way that we decided worked way better. There are a thousand different reasons that development chooses to pivot from what we originally set out to do. Without being privy to that context and those decisions, it's really impossible to say with any accuracy whether the shipped game matches the developers' vision.

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Frequent Questions: The FAQ

[boredtechnologist]

Resident Evil Outbreak File #2 for Sony PlayStation 2, provides a fertile ground for exploring the philosophical concept of personal sacrifice, especially in the face of catastrophic events. The game’s narrative, which involves characters such as Kevin Ryman, Alyssa Ashcroft, and David King, among others, allows for a profound exploration of this theme through the lens of utilitarianism, Kantian ethics, and virtue ethics.

1. Utilitarianism and the Greater Good: John Stuart Mill’s utilitarian principle, which proposes that actions are right if they promote happiness and wrong if they produce the opposite, can be applied to analyze the decisions players must make in "Resident Evil Outbreak File #2." In scenarios where characters must decide whether to sacrifice themselves or others to save the group, utilitarian ethics would advocate for the choice that maximizes overall well-being, even at the cost of individual sacrifice. For example, the decision to hold back the undead to allow others time to escape reflects a utilitarian calculus of sacrificing one for the happiness and survival of many.

2. Kantian Ethics and the Respect for Persons: Immanuel Kant’s deontological ethics, which emphasize duty and respect for individuals as ends in themselves, offer a contrasting perspective to utilitarianism. Kantian ethics would challenge decisions that treat individuals merely as means to an end, even in desperate times. The personal sacrifices characters might make, such as Kevin Ryman’s potential self-sacrificial acts to protect others, can be seen as embodying Kantian morality, where actions are motivated by duty and the recognition of the inherent worth of each person.

3. Virtue Ethics and Moral Character: Aristotelian virtue ethics focus on the development of good character traits that enable individuals to live and act rightly. The characters in "Resident Evil Outbreak File #2," through their experiences and choices, have opportunities to develop virtues such as courage, compassion, and loyalty. The various scenarios that test their limits can be seen as moments of moral and character education, where the right action is the one that expresses virtuous character. For instance, Alyssa Ashcroft's decisions could demonstrate courage and practical wisdom (phronesis), as she navigates the complexities of survival while considering the welfare of others.

4. Existentialism and Authentic Existence: Jean-Paul Sartre and other existentialists assert that individuals are defined by their actions under pressure, emphasizing authenticity and the acceptance of one’s freedom and responsibility. In the dire context of "Resident Evil Outbreak File #2," characters are confronted with existential choices that test their authenticity. David King’s potential sacrifices, for instance, can be viewed through this lens—choosing to act in a manner consistent with his values and acceptance of his existential freedom, even when faced with death.

5. Feminist Ethics and the Ethics of Care: Feminist ethics, particularly the ethics of care as proposed by Carol Gilligan, stress the importance of context, relationships, and emotional engagement in ethical decision-making. This perspective can enrich the understanding of personal sacrifices within the game, emphasizing the relational and interconnected nature of the characters’ decisions. The care shown by one character to another, in risking their own safety, highlights the moral significance of empathy, care, and interdependence in ethical reasoning.

In conclusion, "Resident Evil Outbreak File #2" not only provides a gripping survival horror experience but also serves as a profound narrative framework for exploring complex ethical dilemmas surrounding personal sacrifice. Through the decisions and sacrifices of its characters, the game invites players to engage with and reflect on various philosophical debates concerning utilitarianism, Kantian ethics, virtue ethics, existentialism, and feminist ethics, making it a rich text for philosophical inquiry into the nature of moral decision-making in extreme situations.

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Last night, I had a dream that I went to a clinic to discuss changing (increasing) the dose on my anxiety meds, which is a thing I’ve been thinking about doing in real life, due to my increased baseline levels of anxiety in the last six weeks, which may or may not be related to the fact that I haven’t had alcohol for six weeks and that’s longer than I’ve gone without it in over a decade. So you can see why this got into my dream.

When I got to the clinic, John Robins was the doctor I saw. But it wasn’t some surreal situation of “what if you went to a clinic but instead of a doctor, it was John Robins?” My dream played the whole thing very straight. I was briefly surprised to see John Robins, until I remembered that I did know he has his medical doctor license and sometimes practices in Canada, and I guess that’s a cool coincidence that I happened to get him. When I saw him, I got really excited about seeing a comedian I liked, and then I immediately got apologetic and tried to backtrack and clarify that this is a coincidence, I’m a fan of his but it’s not like I came here because I’m a fan of his, I’m not trying to use a medical facility for the inappropriate purpose of meeting a comedian, I genuinely have a medical issue and I’m sorry if my initial excitement made it seem like I might have just wanted to meet John Robins. Which is, I think, exactly what I’d do if this somehow happened in real life. Like I said, the whole scenario was played straight.

(Note for those who don’t know: Benzodiazepines are not the anxiety medication I take every day, I have only taken them I think three times in my life, the most recent time was about two weeks ago, and every time I’ve taken them, it’s been because I was in a hospital emergency room during a severe panic attack/mental health crisis and the doctor there gave it to me directly. Which I think is a reasonable use of benzodiazepines, in an emergency situation to calm someone down. Those things do calm people down, but they do it by producing an effect that’s like a recreational high, which is why those drugs are often used recreationally. And like some other recreational drugs, it can be very easy to become severely addicted to them, which causes terrifying withdrawal symptoms among other things, and there’s a huge problem with people getting addicted after using them recreationally, but even some who get addicted after only taking them exactly as prescribed by a doctor. I have been prescribed them several times in my life, most recently when I was in the hospital two weeks ago, and never with sufficient warning about the potential for addiction, so I have never filled the prescription because it seems too risky. That is a very different thing from the anxiety pills I take daily that are safe medication.)

The scene continued to be played straight – no vague dream nonsense, I remember every detail and this all made perfect sense within the context – when I told John Robins that I think I need to up my dose for anxiety medication, and his response was to pour some Coke into a cup, drop two benzodiazepine pills into the cup, add a bunch of rum, drink about 3/4 of the mixture himself, and then hand it to me. He told me that this is the anxiety medication he takes and it works great, he recommends I try the same thing. So I did, and then things did start to go fuzzy.

If my life were a movie, someone would write in a dream sequence where that happened, and a viewer would justifiably say, "Oh come on, that's a little on the nose, no one really has dreams that are that specifically thematic to what they've been thinking of in real life."

So, in case anyone’s wondering where I’m at in my emotional journey that goes along with abstaining from alcohol after six weeks, it's there. It's at the point where you start having dreams like that.

[maaarine]

Free Agents: How Evolution Gave Us Free Will (Kevin Mitchell, 2023)

"So, even though the “canonical” human genome (which doesn’t really exist anywhere) encodes a program to build a canonical human brain, your particular genome encodes a program to build a brain like yours.

But not exactly like yours.

The program in your genome does not encode one particular outcome, specified down to the level of individual nerve cells or synaptic connections between them.

It does not encode the outcome at all, in fact: it just encodes a set of biochemical rules that, when played out over the complicated processes of development, will tend to result in an outcome within a certain range. (…)

We can think of this variation like that in the internal tuning of the behavioral controls of a robot.

Imagine you and I were asked to build an autonomous robot that has to make its way in the world—finding fuel, avoiding threats, interpreting sensory information, assessing situations, and deciding among possible actions.

There are all kinds of things we would have to build in our robot for it to accomplish its tasks. (…)

All those functions—some means for inferring what is out in the world from the data gathered by its sensors;

integrating both external and internal multiple signals to derive a picture of the whole situation;

comparing that with the data in its memory bank to help inform its next action;

weighing threats versus opportunities, short-term versus long-term goals, and good versus bad outcomes;

and eventually picking one action to perform while inhibiting all other possibilities—would have to be configured into its circuitry. (…)

With so many circuits and parameters that could vary, it is inevitable that the way you would tune your robot would differ from how I would tune mine.

You might set the threat sensitivity a little higher and the reward sensitivity a little lower.

I might tune the circuits in my robot with a different balance between short- and long-term goals.

All these settings would manifest as different patterns of behavior over time and across contexts.

Your robot might appear more cautious than mine. Mine might show more perseverance: it might be willing to work longer for a delayed reward.

The robots could differ in how much evidence they need to make a decision (impulsivity), how much they value mating opportunities (sex drive), and even how salient they find novel objects or situations (curiosity).

In short, our robots would have personalities, just like you and I do.

And just like you or me, they would not have had any hand in choosing those traits.

Even if the robots learn over their lifetime and adapt to the various scenarios they encounter, all this learning is also physically embodied in the configuration of their circuits at the moment they are faced with a decision."