#bel talks

[flowerbritts]

A little detail you might not have noticed in Dead Boy Detectives.

So, I was encouraged by some lovies over on the DPDAS (Dead People Detective Agency server) to make this post about how I think we've seen more than just Death and Despair of the Endless in Dead Boy Detectives. If you look behind the boys who are pelting rocks at Charles before his death, you will see someone watching the crime happen. The figure is shadowed by a single overhead light, a streetlamp that seems a little out of place; they seem like they are wearing a robe/a cloak as you can make out little to none of their features. They also look like they are holding something.

"oh, but that may be the night nurse!" you say.

The night nurse was holding her book to her chest, a small lamp light hovering over the book itself. For further proof, it isn't her; here, the figure is in the same shot as her.

Though they are harder to make out, you can tell someone is still standing there and watching through the fog. And remember it's the night nurse who is going through Charles's memories; as she works for an endless, she would be able to see any who were there during the event

I believe this figure to be Destiny, as the description matches what we've seen so far. He wears a cloak, and he carries something, the book of Destiny.

Maybe it was destiny for Charles to die on that day to meet Edwin.

Thanks to Kos for getting the screen grabs and encouraging me to write this post.

We all just found it interesting since apparently there was an easter egg that we had missed.

I am now going to sleep; thank you for reading!

[much-ado-about-whumping]

Help for when you’re having a rough time

(If you're looking for my old pinned post with my whump masterlists, you can find it here.)

In light of some deeply sad news in the whump community today, I’m thinking about how many of us here struggle with mental health, sometimes including physical or mental self-harm and suicidality. Since I know lots of folks might be having a hard time right now, I wanted to share some resources that have helped me in rough moments. Please feel free to add on to this post (or make your own, if you want!) with the resources that have worked for you. 

First, a note:

Trauma, shame, and suicidality all tend to isolate - they make us feel like we’re all alone in the world, like no one else would understand us, and like the only solutions we have available to us are ones we can think of all by ourselves. In my experience, the antidote to that is connection. If you’re feeling scared or alone, you can hop into my asks or DMs if you want. I’m sure there are other folks in this community who would offer that, too. Many of us have grappled with mental health struggles, including suicidal ideation, and sometimes we can offer each other the care that can be hard to offer ourselves. Don’t be afraid to reach out if you need support.

A quick note about location: I live in the US, but about half the resources in this post are written guides you can access from anywhere. The hotlines and warmlines linked below are US-based. One or two are accessible in Canada or have an online chat or moderated forum that could be accessed anywhere. If you have good local resources from another place, please reblog and add them! (Thank you, @straight-to-the-pain, for flagging this in the notes!)

That said, here’s my absolute first recommendation if you’re feeling generally awful and don’t know what to do:

1. You Feel Like Shit (also available at its original site here)

If you’ve read a lot of ~self care tips~ in your life (and if you’re a bit of a salty bitch like me), you might be sick of being told to eat something and take a nap. (I don’t think we can hydrate our way out of long-term trauma and late-stage capitalistic hell, but thanks.) That said, I’ve found this site REALLY helpful. Personally, I have ADHD and CPTSD, a combination that makes it ROUGH for me to know how to take care of myself sometimes. This site speaks to you calmly, like a non-judgemental friend, and walks you through steps that you might struggle with if you have a hard time with executive function in general, or if you’re ill, grieving, overwhelmed, or otherwise just off your game. I pretty much always walk away feeling at least a little better, even if I don’t complete every step.

There are more suggestions and resources below the cut. Wishing everyone in this community love and care. <3

2. The 15-Minute Rule (info available in many places; after a quick google, I really like this site as a place to start)

One key principle to understanding the resources I’ve put together here is the 15-minute rule. If you’re feeling an urge towards physical or mental self-harm or suicide, studies show that the urge is unlikely to last more than about 15 minutes at its peak intensity. (Sorry I don’t have data on this off the bat - anecdotally, I can tell you that this rule also tracks with my own personal experience.) This means that, if you’re presently feeling overwhelmed by grief or pain that’s turning inwards on you, if you can stay afloat through the next few minutes, the tide of it is likely to ebb. The site I linked above has information about this concept and some great harm-reduction ideas, too. (Another resource on this that I liked in my quick search is here.)

3. Read This First (a compassionate distraction from feelings of self-harm)

I’m gonna be honest; this resource is aimed at folks having urges towards physical self-harm, but it looks like something I would find helpful with urges towards emotional self-harm, too. (It also looks like it could be handy for body-focused repetitive behaviors - BFRBs - like dermatillomania/skin-picking or trichotillomania/hair-pulling).

4. Resources from Pete Walker, psychotherapist and author of Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving

Obviously not everyone reading this will have complex PTSD (also called C-PTSD), but if you’re a person who, in general, tends to beat yourself up a lot, I’d highly recommend checking Pete Walker’s work out. If some of it doesn’t apply to you, that’s okay - take what you need, and leave the rest. This site (and the book it references most heavily) assumes you may have had parents who were emotionally or physically abusive or neglectful. If that doesn’t ring true for you, but other parts of the resources seem helpful, use them anyway! A handy place to start maybe this page on Shrinking the Inner Critic in Complex PTSD (that is, reducing the volume of the voice that screeches unpleasantness at you when you feel ashamed or scared).

As a note: this website looks VERY mid-2000s (which I kind of love). Most of the resources you want will be in the right-hand column full of links. Some of those links will open new pages, and some will automatically try to download a PDF of the article you want to read. 

5. Warmlines:

This is something I just learned today - if you’re feeling really lonely and sad, but you’re not in immediate crisis, there are warmlines you can contact! These seem to be numbers where you can call (or sometimes text) to talk with a counselor or trained peer when you need support and connection. I can’t vouch for any of these numbers personally, but as someone who has definitely thought, “It’s not bad enough to REALLY need help,” I think this is a fabulous idea. Here’s a list of warmlines you can check out in the US.

6. Specialized hotlines: 

There are lots of good crisis hotlines out there, but some may be better for your needs than others. For one thing, if you’re feeling seriously suicidal, it’s good to know the policies of the hotline you’re calling. In my opinion, everyone deserves bodily autonomy and the right to refuse care; for that reason, I think it’s important to know the policy of the hotline you’re calling as to whether or not they’ll call emergency services without your consent. Everyone has to make their own judgment call on this one, and I’m a little too (lightly!) triggered to go deep into my analysis on this right now, but I wanted to flag that it’s something to be aware of - if you’re going to call a hotline, you can try to look up their policy on calling emergency services before you contact them. You could probably even ask them in the beginning of the call. (A script: “Before we start, can you tell me what your policy is about contacting emergency services on behalf of callers?” If this is true, you can add: “I’m having some feelings of [suicidality/self-harm], but I’m safe and am not in danger of hurting myself or others.”)

With that in mind, here are some hotlines that seem promising to me, in no particular order:

A. For queer and trans folks in general:

Trans LifeLine

Available in the US (1-877-565-8860) and Canada (1-877-330-6366)

Available in English and Spanish

Will NOT call emergency services without your consent (you can read more about this policy on their website, including here)

Peer to peer support for transgender and questioning folks; also, microgrants (small amounts of money) for trans-related needs!

Does not offer text/chat-based support

I’ve never used Trans LifeLine myself, but I’ve heard excellent things about it from peers who have.

The Trevor Project:

Support from trained counselors for queer, trans, and questioning folks

Definitely available in the US; I’m not sure where else.

Offers support via phone (1-866-488-7386), text message (678-678), and online chat (link here - scroll down to Start Chat)

Also offers an online peer support space, TrevorSpace, for folks ages 13-24

Their site says, “In very specific instances of abuse or a clear concern of an in-progress or imminent suicide, Trevor counselors may need to contact a child welfare agency or emergency service.” When you click Learn More, it takes you to their Terms of Service (informative, but in legalese that might be hard to parse if you’re in crisis).

Again, not a service I’ve used myself, but I’ve heard good things!

B. For BIPOC folks (Black folks, Indigenous folks, and people of color more broadly), especially those who also hold LQBTQI identities:

Call Blackline:

Available via phone or text (both at 1-800-604-5841)

Available for people in crisis. Call Blackline can also help connect you with local community organizers and officials if you need to report a negative, inappropriate, or physical interaction with police, other law enforcement, or vigilantes.

From their website:

Call BlackLine® provides a space for peer support, counseling, reporting of mistreatment, witnessing and affirming the lived experiences for folxs who are most impacted by systematic oppression with an LGBTQ+ Black Femme Lens.Call BlackLine® prioritizes BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, and People of Color). By us for us.

Here’s what I found regarding their policy on emergency services:

You do not have to provide any personal information to use the service. All calls remain private and will never be shared with law enforcement or state agencies of any kind.

Of course, a BIPOC person can contact any hotline for support, but for people dealing with racism, anti-Blackness, and other specific bigotries, I can very much see the importance of talking to someone who shares or understands that experience.

C. For folks processing bad psychedelic trips:

Fireside Project:

This one is something I didn’t even know existed! They do call- or text-based support (1-623-473-7433, or 1-62-FIRESIDE) for people processing psychedelic drug experiences, available 11am to 11pm Pacific time. I don’t have a ton more info, but their site seems really interesting and like they’re serving a unique need.

7. A soothing distraction:

One of the glories of the internet is the fact that it enables us to conjure up images of kittens at a moment’s notice. In that vein, I want to offer up a VERY cute distraction: Peptoc is a hotline (1-707-873-7862, or 1-707-8PEPTOC) where you can hear encouraging messages in English or Spanish from kindergarteners. How sweet is that? (Thanks to the wonderful @newbornwhumperfly for this suggestion!)

--------

Beloved whump community, I want to know about things that help you when you’re struggling. Please feel free to share them if you want.

And, Moya - we’ll miss you so, so much, even those of us (like me) who didn’t know you well. May your memory be an absolute blessing. <3

(I was going to put this in the tags, but oops, it’s going up here - I really hope this post will be helpful to someone, but it was also helpful to me to build. I feel better in a crisis when I can find a way to help - it’s how I soothe myself when I’m sad or scared. I really hope this doesn’t seem preachy or self-aggrandizing - it’s really just me processing-processing-processing. <3)

One more note: if this post makes you think you might want to follow my blog, you're totally welcome, but you should check out my note here first. This is not a DNI list; it's just a heads-up about my content, which could be inappropriate or triggering for some people.

[me-is-confused]

Okay, uh, thought i just had

Logan and Hesh are the two sides that Elias was in one person. Hear me out on this.

Elias had two "soldier sides" one Captain Walker, the leader, keeping everyone in line, making sure everything works, that is Hesh, leading, always looking out, the planner, next in line to be the captain of the Ghosts (when he has his years down ofc)

And then we have Scarecrow, the man with the mask, the overly skilled fighter that can make the enemies scared just by showing up, doing the most dangerous shit but still succeeding (mostly) that's Logan, the guy that made it through enemy territory with only a knife, that's why he got the mask (not to say Hesh ain't skilled, he is, but you get what i mean)

[deadtothebones]

These glasses are bigger than my face

[remuspotters]

I rewatched Heaven Sent and I am Not Okay™

[thattranstheatrekid]

FOR MY FIRST POST I DECLARE FOR ALL TO VOTE FOR JOE HILLS IN THE MCYTBLR SEXYMAN DEBATE

[smolbeanieee]

lowkey want to write the last chapter for yk au but im so lazy ahhhh. Just wrote the first part but the writing isnt writing huaaaaa

[belelzebub]

Wanted to give an update! Thank you guys for the reblogs and advice! My car has been doing just fine and thankfully my buddies are helping me out with fixing it. (and the ignition switch cap is the only thing the thief destroyed, which is a cheap fix i could probably figure to do myself) I was also able to ship out the jackalope pin orders as planned once again thanks to my friends. This is just a post saying I love my friends a whole lot that is all 🥰

if anyone is in the seattle area, i will be selling pride pins and other goodies at an event there, so feel free to say hi!!!!!

Soooo....Jackalope Pride Pin orders are gonna be delayed for a hot second. My car got broken into thanks to the "hyundai and kias are easier to steal" tiktok trend and wont be fixed until Monday. My villain era has officially begun

If you wanna help me with costs, links below

ETSY

KO-FI

[sashthesloth]

I can collapse when this is over.

[flowerbritts]

I can't get over that one little part in Dead Boy Detectives when Edwin is too busy/distracted reading the book Monty gave him that Charles tries to do a bunch of little things to get his attention, including an impression of him????? that Edwin just ignores???? it gets to the point that Charles fully calls Edwin out, and dudes all like, hmmm? Charles gets all pissy/annoyed/jealous over it

like my man, don't worry; he's already in love with you.

[much-ado-about-whumping]

If you're blogging about the PWHL and wondering why I followed you - this is my main blog for niche writing content! My hockey sideblog is over at @spoonerisrns . See you there!

[much-ado-about-whumping]

You know, I haven't seen the source material for most of these, and I probably won't anytime soon, bit watching this beautiful video gave me a realization about whump-as-genre I hadn't fully articulated before. Sometimes, even in moments of hurt-no-comfort, the form treats the character with gentleness even if the narrative does not. There are moments here where the cinematography allows a strong young man to look really, really delicate, and the film-making creates a kind of caress even if there isn't one on screen. I'm realizing written whump can do this, too - we often describe actions that are abrasive and painful and ugly using language that is undeniably kind of beautiful.

There's something in here about honoring the experience of the survivor, right? What was done to you was repulsive, but you are not. There's something in here about making great pain possible to witness without flinching away. The tenderness of a camera angle or an analogy can sort of soothe the viewer or reader's nervous system a little, help the audience come down from the heightened state of the conflict.

I don't really have more of a thesis than that. I'm just thinking about how and why we create what we do here, and I think this is part of it for me.

[me-is-confused]

Cw weight

Can my family please stop commenting that i lost weight? Like,.I'm glad it's out of concern, but holy shit... can you people stop, i know i lost weight and i don't like it either, but i had fucking stressful couple years, that made my relationship with food even worse... but thanks for pointing it out... definitely helps

[deadtothebones]

Holissss

[hellafluff]

Just started shaking from laughter in the middle of an intense fight in Veilguard because I imagined a modern AU where college professor Emmrich is listening to student Bellara info dump the entirety of FNAF lore to him. They're supposed to be having an advisor meeting

[ask-felix-brc]

Do you have games on ur phon?