#amazing it is i just UGH wish i could’ve written this better but it’s just. FEELINGS. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lynx-paw · 3 years ago

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Stray Kids album review no one asked for, but I still did because yes.

Every song has 3 "reviews": before looking up lyrics, after looking up lyrics and final.

1 – Cheese

BEFORE: Ohh the guitar riff. I am WEAK for guitar in this one. Probably a song I’d play waiting for the traffic light to go green. It has nice, somehow fun beat. But, we definitely could have survived without them naming types of cheese.

AFTER: Heh. A real fuck you in not romantic way.

FINAL: I appreciate the entire idea behind the song. Tho, we still could’ve survived without types of cheese.

2 – Thunderous

BEFORE: Idk why, but beginning reminds me of Rhythm Ta. Yes Changbineeeeeeey take it away.

Did I hear it right? "I’m not sorry, I’m dirty." Babes, are we okay?

Ah yes, Aussie line being more Aussie with each passing day. OMG THAT LAUGH AT 2:03 YES.

Oh I def heard it right, I’m not sorry I’m dirty. Cool, cool, ok. The rapapapam bought me, seriously.

It has very Kingdom!Ateez sound to it which isn’t a bad thing at all, I’m a sucker for Kingdom!Ateez. But… I don’t know, I miss either more intense build-up or beat drop. That would, like, totally kill me and pay for my burial.

AFTER: Oh. Changbin’s part is really, really good. Okay, okay, seriously props to whoever wrote the lyrics. But we really could’ve survived without I’m not sorry, I’m dirty.

Kkundeuri wasseoyo and Gyerani wasseoyo need to have a collab if you know what I mean hehe 😉

FINAL: I feel like my precious I.N had so much fun in this one, so I give bonus points. The song is good, the lyrics are bomb, but the sound lacks intensity. I wish they went with a bit harsher tone, the song would be absolute bomb slap then. All in all, I like it.

3 – Domino

BEFORE: GOING IN STRONG YES. Yeah, goodbye brain, I’ll be going around singing Domino, domino, DOMINO. Yo, that stop and then intense rap at approximately 1:15 is very nice touch.

Don’t kill me, but in my very humble opinion, Chan’s parts feel a bit out of place in the song.

Oh… I don’t like the pace change starting at 2:40…

AFTER: Ah, yet another fuck you, I’ll succeed no matter what you say song.

FINAL: Kinda have a feeling it might grow on me after a few days, but right now… Hm. I don’t know. Maybe one of those songs which need to marinate and which might slap after I come back to them randomly.

4 – Ssick

BEFORE: Oh, the beginning gives me Ikon vibes, yes please. Okay, okay, this drop at 0:50 is really good, I like it very much.

This song has nice transitions and per se, variety, that maybe previous songs lack. For now, my favourite song. It is repetitive, just like the previous ones, and that’s not a bad thing, but I think this one has the best mix of repetitive and filled with variety in beat.

AFTER: 3rd fuck you haters song? I mean sure, fuck haters, but isn’t dedicating 3 songs to them giving them a bit too much attention? This one isn’t just about fuck you tho, it’s also about being there for your friends and I like that aspect. It’s like fuck you to haters and i wuw you to friends and supporters.

Also very, very, very important and positive part of the lyrics is “Oh yeah, I know that I don’t have anything special. But, yeah, do you know that I myself am special?” This, boys, girls, rocks and flowers, this is very valuable lesson. You don’t have to own something special because you are special by just being. Don’t belittle yourself. Even skz is telling you that.

FINAL: From all the fuck you songs this is probably my favorite.

5 – The View

BEFORE: Awww very summery song, very sweet since the beginning. OH SHIT I AM CRYING WTF?

Fuck, this reminds me of a feeling, if you get me, but I don’t know which one? I like it. I LIKE IT SO MUCH. YES. BRING IT ON. BRING ON THE TEARS YES. (i am probably the only person being excited to cry but that says a lot about me sush please).

This is one of the songs I’d LOVE to randomly hear on the radio. Just driving to the beach, vibing you know.

And getting attacked by sudden rap and beat change because why tf not, you know?

AFTER: “Clouds like a submarine swim” I told you, summer vibes.

Ah, fuck. Here, it’s this why I cried. I sensed something in the way they delivered this part of the song and it was this: “The road in front of me seemed dark ‘cause i never ever let it go. Now I feel comfortable, I like it, this feeling and I’ll never ever let it go.” Not to be someone who’ll be like Aha! This is the meaning behind this! but to me this reminds me a lot of feeling stuck with bad self-image, both mentally and physically, and because I said this is like a summer song, my brain immediately goes to all those summers I hated my body and this one being the first summer ever that I didn’t actively hate myself. This part of lyrics is for me like finally breaking out of the shell or maybe a better expression, shedding old skin and just leaving it behind, going forward with new, more positive mentality and a sense of liberation.

“I like the view right now” is like 1) i literally like the view (sunset on beach type of vibe), 2) i like looking at you/myself and realising you’re feeling comfortable around me/yourself/myself, and/or 3) i like this new view on life I have.

Look, I could literally quote entire song and give in depth analysis of on what level they resonate with me, but I won’t do that. I’ll just say these are one of the best lyrics I’ve ever read and they’re so well combined with music ughhh. And the fact this song came at the right time in my life *insert chef’s kiss*

FINAL: I love it. It was really good before I read lyrics and after it’s like three times better. One of my faves on the album.

6 – Sorry, I love you

BEFORE: Nothing special for except for the slight angsty tones I hear. I like it, but nothing crazy. I’d like it to pop up on my playlist occasionally. I think it would be an absolute BOP for me if it was leaning more to the rock genre. Like, a bit slowed down with accent just on guitar and their voices. But, that’s just me always being a sucker for rock ballads. For some reason to me, best ballads and most songs which evoke strong emotion from me are the ones which accentuate the words, the voice and one instrument.

AFTER: Very convinced this song is written by the one who is watching Nevertheless (is it Seungmin? or someone else?). My roommate strongly disagrees with that, but look, I don’t make rules, I think, I say.

FINAL: I hate to admit it but it’s catchy. I’d love live band version of this ngl.

7 – Silent Cry

BEFORE: Interesting intro huh. But something doesn’t sit with me right with the rest of the song. I don’t know what. I really don’t.

AFTER: Yeah sure, hit me with depresso lyrics right in the beginning.

FUCK. The lyrics are really killing me.

FINAL: I just can’t suffer through music. Lyrics are amazing, but idk, music is so not my style and somehow don’t suit the lyrics.

8 – Secret Secret

BEFORE: WAIT WHY DO I HAVE EMOTIONS ALREADY IT’S ONLY BEEN LIKE 10 SECONDS INTO THE SONG. Fuck. I’m on the verge of tears. Imagine listening to this and then Ex I would straight up have emotional breakdown. Yeah, yeah, I’m crying. Leave me alone. The softness, the preciousness, the cuteness, ugh I am broken™.

AFTER: Yeah, fuck. I’m crying again.The lyrics are killing me.

FINAL: This song makes me very emotional, I am a literal mess right now. Kill me, resurrect me, kill me again.

9 – Star Lost

Not my type of song. Like, nothing’s wrong, it’s just so not my type.

10 – Red Lights

BEFORE: Well, the beat drop for sure slaps. The song reminds me of something, it’s either a movie or a song, but I can’t remember. And that’s not a bad thing, I just hate the fact I can’t remember what it reminds me of.

AFTER: “I’m staying up all night again.” I see what you did there, tsch.

“Now tell me you hate me I can’t stand you any longer. But I know, you and me, there’s nothing I can do.” this is very good. I like this.

FINAL: This song could be about so many things. Lust, control problems, feeling of losing yourself, not knowing what your stage personality is and what is real you, anxiety, insomnia, depression… The thing they really managed to do is achieving a level of intensity. I like the song more after I read the lyrics, but I have to say I thought it would be much, much more intense and in your face. I’ll let it crawl in my mind and heart. Slowly. Hehe.

11 – Surfin’

BEFORE: I’m not a fan of summer. Or summer songs. But this is good. Wtf. Something’s going on with me lol. I have nothing much to say, I like the song, that’s it hahah.

AFTER: Felix talking about working 24/7 isn’t something I thought I’d hear in such a summery song.

“My head is overheated just like my laptop.” yo Changbin, mood.

FINAL: I hate summer songs, but this one slaps. This is the only summer song I’ll ever love and accept. Absolute bop.

12 – Gone Away

BEFORE: Oh the beginning surely is something. Oh no, no, no, no, no, I’ll cry again. Oh no. I’m dead. Fuck. I’m crying without lyrics, what’s going to happen after I listen with lyrics? Fuck man.

OH SHIT WHAT WAS THIS AT 3:00? THEY’RE PULLING OFF SOME MAYFLY SINGING UNIT THING I AM LITERALLY DEAD HERE. My. Jesus.

AFTER: Yeah, I’m crying a river. Pass me handkerchiefs.

FINAL: Seungmin, stop watching Nevertheless.(Don’t. I need more heartbreak songs ty.)

13 – Wolfgang

- The song I lowkey hated on Kingdom, but it crawled in my mind and heart later. Hyunjin just added some spice heh.

14 – 애

- Not gonna comment much, this could be the worst song ever and I’d still adore it because of what the song means. And who it brought back 😊

#stray kids #noeasy #cheese #thunderous #domino #ssick #the view #sorry i love you #silent cry #secret secret #star lost #red lights #surfin'#gone away #wolfgang #애

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stayarmytinyzenmoa-l · 4 years ago

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Locked and Reloaded [Ch. 5]

Marvel AU

TW: Language, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Blood, Gun Violence, Implied Abusive Household

Genre: Action, Light Comedy, Angst

Pairing: NCT Dream x Reader

YN Pronouns: Female (She/Her)

(5/?) [First] | [Previous] | [Next]

[Main Masterlist] | [Locked and Reloaded Masterlist]

Word Count: 6.5K

Notes: It’s about time these members entered the story. I’m dropping this now instead of a Saturday upload because I’m getting my second dose of vaccine in about nine hours, and from how both of my parents reacted something tells me that I’m going to be incapacitated for the next two days, so I decided to finish this bad boy up now! Currently next on my list to work on is Infatuation, so I’ll see you in that update!

Disclaimer: Please remember that this is an AU and a work of fiction, obviously the idols mentioned/written about in this story would never partake in or condone these actions. I would never wish any of these actions to occur to the Idol(s) mentioned in the writings of these stories, nor do I wish any harm on them.

“That’s stupid,” you told your older brother. Baekhyun just laughed. You had just finished ranting to him how a majority of the premise of chemistry was ridiculous, being founded on one key theory that could be amended at any moment, something now set in stone or put to law. It was a theoretical science that clashed with the lawfulness of physics and the puzzle of biology. “Chemistry is literally the weakest link.”

“I don’t quite think so, songbird,” the nickname was sweet in his voice, it was one you had had for as long as you could remember. He leans against your desk and he points at the picture. “It’s just atomic theory.”

“Yeah, and it’s stupid. Imagine, all of this work, all seven hundred of these pages and countless other books could get proved incorrect if someone disproves it.”

“You read this entire textbook and that’s all you have to say about it?” Baekhyun raised his eyebrow and crossed his arms. “Wah, you’re so amazing and you don’t even know it,” he hugged your head to his stomach and you pushed him away.

“Ew, you’re so gross,” you wiped the sweat from your face. “At least shower before coming into my room! You’re disgusting when you use the gym.”

“And miss my darling sister? No way, that and I came to congratulate you!” He points at the certificate on your desk just under your coffee mug. “Not every day you win the science fair… again.”

“Yeah, yeah, thanks,” you put a textbook over it. He was right, but it was hardly an achievement for you at this point, it was an expectation.

“What did you do this year?” None of them even showed up, the only person there to help you with your project was Jeno, but he was always there whether you liked it or not.

“You don’t know?”

“I was at the conference, remember?”

“Oh, right,” you sighed. “It was just an observation on bees.”

“Whoa! Bees are great! They’re so helpful for pollination, for honey, and so much more!” Baekhyun smiles. “Hey, your birthday’s coming up, right? Fourteen? Oh god, oh no, my songbird? A teen? I don’t think I can handle this.”

“You’re overreacting! It’s not like I’m going to be any different. Plus, I’m already a teen.”

“Oh, (Y/N), you have no idea. Thirteen is the one year free trial before you start having to pay to be a teen. Once you turn fourteen, ugh, I don’t even know how to say this,” Baekhyun fake cries and wipes away the invisible tears. “It’ll be like you’re a whole different person.”

“Stop that! Why are you acting so weird?” You laughed and turned to him. Baekhyun crossed his arms over his chest and your smile dropped. You knew that look on his face better than anyone. “You’re leaving again, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, I leave tonight,” he says.

“How long?”

“Maybe a week this time, dad wants to show me the properties over in Zone 8.”

“Seriously? What for?” The factories that far out from the city were nearly ghost factories, they just handled building the smaller removable parts of the weapons your father developed. You couldn’t think of a possible reason why Baekhyun would have to go out that far.

“I have no clue, maybe he just wants me to see the Byun system at a smaller scale,” Baekhyun sighs. “Will you be okay here?”

“Will I be okay here? Don’t make me laugh,” you slammed your textbook shut and stared at him. “She hates me.”

“Don’t say that.”

“She does! You’ve seen the way she talks to me when you’re not around, Baek, I genuinely think that woman wants to get rid of me.”

“She’s your mother.”

“No, she’s your mother.” You didn’t mean for it to come out as accusing as it did. But you could genuinely say that you never felt anything from her aside from the obvious disdain she must have held for you. But what could you do? You’d hate you too. If one day your husband showed up at your doorstep with a kid you didn’t recognize telling you to treat her as if she was your own, you’d despise that child’s existence. All you were was proof of infidelity, and your stepmother made that very clear. You were her daughter on paper alone, but in reality, you were nothing more than a freeloader. “I’m just the bastard kid from dad’s mistress.”

“Do not,” Baekhyun held a finger up and stared at you with an intensity you’ve never seen on his face before. Seriousness wasn’t something that Baekhyun often used, especially around you. “Do not ever reduce yourself to that. Do you understand? You are so much more than that and you can’t let anyone who says that to you bring you down, you cannot let that weigh on you. Who even told you that?”

“She did. Who else?”

“God…” Baekhyun looked away and huffed. He held his hand to his forehead and sighed. “Keep in touch with me, okay? Just one more year and I can take it to court.”

“Forget it, Baek,” you waved your hand. “It would never work. We have no proof.”

“Well,” Baekhyun pressed his lips together and placed a tape in front of you.

“A tape? Seriously?”

“Don’t hate on old tech, they’re still around for a reason. I have a walkman in my room, second drawer on my desk. Listen to it later, okay?”

“Yeah, okay,” you placed the tape in your own drawer, out of sight and out of mind.

“Just wait for me, alright?”

“Yeah.”

“(Y/N), I’m serious.”

“I know.”

“I’ll be back, okay?”

“Okay, just go, dad’s probably waiting for you,” you opened your textbook again and stared at the passages on it. You had a really bad feeling about tonight, but you couldn’t quite place your finger on it.

“Love you, songbird.”

“I know.”

“Sungchan! Four o’clock!” You shouted towards the agent. Sungchan, moving a second too late was met with the spine of a book to his face, promptly knocking him out. “Aw, geez,” you shoved your bag under a table, hoping that it would be somewhat okay after the fight, and threw a metal tray, the circular object blocking one of the flying weapons from hitting Shotaro on his way to Sungchan.

“Thank you!” He shouts. He leans next to his best friend and tries to wake him up while the fight continued.

“I’ll try to keep you guys covered, but you might need to fill in for me eventually, Reaper’s not doing too good over there,” you stumbled over to the two and handed Shotaro one of the pillows from the couch. “Is he okay?”

“Yeah, just knocked out, but I have to watch him just in case… you know.”

“I do, just make sure he’s fine.”

With Jeno’s sudden appearance the Sanctum became a new battleground. Ancient artifacts were being used left and right for battle, whether they were used correctly or not, and with incoherent shouts filling the previously calm room. Strange was doing his best to prevent anything potentially world-threatening from happening, the Sorcerer Supreme understanding the laws of the universe, as well as any of you did, while the Maverick worked to bring down Vulture. The surprise attack rendered them at an unfortunate disadvantage. Strange was more concerned with keeping the battle within the Sanctum than he was helping any of you out, which was entirely understandable.

“I got it!” Peter shoved back the bookcase that was about to fall on you.

“Thanks, Peter.”

“Just so you know I am so sorry I did not mean for any of this to happen I didn’t know.”

“Oh goodness, no hard feelings, Peter, it happens to the best of us,” you said to him. “There’s no way you could’ve known.”

“Thanks, (Y/N), that means a— Watch out!” He pushed you out of the way just as a shield lodged itself between you, you turned towards the source and saw Vulture, and you had to stop yourself from getting any more frustrated than you already are.

“Fucking hell,” you clapped your hands together and jogged in place. “Stretching before fights is good for you, Peter, don’t forget that,” you said to him. Then you saw Cap waving his hand. You pulled the shield from its spot and threw it back to him.

“Nice arm!”

“Don’t lose your shit!” You moved your head to the side just as a bullet whizzed past you. “And watch where you’re aiming!” You dodged another bullet as it ricocheted off of one of the metal artifacts of the Sanctum.

“I am,” Jaemin’s voice was steady despite the chaos. “Reaper!” Jaemin tossed one o the artifacts towards the other, particularly a sharp one, and Jeno drove it into the wall next to Vulture, just barely grazing the Follower. Vulture grabbed onto the back of Jeno’s neck, the razor claws on his hands emerging and sinking into the half-demon before Vulture slammed Jeno’s head through the wall.

“Urgh, I felt that,” you rubbed the back of your neck as the phantom pain shot through it. You quickly stepped back just as an eldritch whip snapped in front of you.

“Mr. Wong?!” Peter gasps.

“That one isn’t in our database,” Jaemin grabbed onto the whip as it went towards you again, ‘Wong’ staring at him with a slight confusion, to which Jaemin just tugged it away from the other’s hands, watching the concentrated energy dissipate.

“Well then add him later, dammit,” you charged towards Vulture but soon felt something wrap around your ankle. You looked at the portal next to your foot and the hand around it. “Ew! Oh my god!” You yanked it out of ‘Wong’s’ grasp and shot towards him, the bullets disappearing before they could get anywhere close. No wonder it was so fucking convenient, you hoped whoever the real Wong was and where he was currently wasn’t too horrible.

“We should name this guy,” Jaemin dodged the eldritch disk that nearly sliced his throat. “I’m thinking Frisbee.”

“Oh come on, let’s stay true to tradition and wait for Hyuck,” you pulled a sword from the suit of armor next to you and blocked the whip again. You turned the hilt in your hand and smiled. “Ooh, I like this. You know my ex used to be an expert fencer.”

“I almost forgot about that one,” Jaemin hums. “What’s with sleeping beauty over there?”

“Got hit in a face with a book.”

“Oh that’s good, one less bomb we have to worry about.”

“That’s rude,” you scolded him.

“Can someone help me over here?!” Jeno’s pissed off voice came from the office. He pushed himself up from the rubble and cracked his neck before his knuckles. “I’m going to kill this guy, fuck the Agreement.”

“Does the Agreement even apply this far out?” You asked. Jaemin pulled out his phone briefly. The Agreement was offered by the D98 Avengers, basically promising not to do any dimension altering things, but it was just a promise, nothing was set in stone and thus was lacking in any legality. It was a gentleman’s promise, so to say.

“Technically it doesn’t, D62 is far out of D98 bounds. And since none of the Avengers are here…” Jaemin let Jeno fill in the blanks himself.

“Good,” Jeno tapped his wrists together, a blood-red magic circle appearing between them.

“Wait, do you guys hear that?” You looked around while skillfully parrying evil Wong’s attacks.

“Hear what?” Shotaro was nursing the passed out Sungchan while blocking any projectiles that made their way towards him.

“It kind of sounds like screaming,” Jaemin furrowed his eyebrows.

“No, it sounds like… no, of all the members to send,” you groaned. Then the sound of doors crashing open accompanied the chaos that was the Sanctum while a familiar face ran in head first, literally, screaming his head off, and rams into Dr. Strange.

“I got this one, V! Don’t worry!” Chenle shouts.

“You idiot he’s on our side!” Jeno grabs a polearm from a nearby suit of armor and whacks it over Vulture’s head, the polearm breaking in half right after and really just pissing off the Follower more.

“Oh is he? Sorry!” Chenle detached himself from the sorcerer.

“Looks like we’ll be having a change in plans,” Strange murmured and disappeared from the room.

“Did the wizard just dip?!” You yelled.

“I think so!” Chenle yelled back, despite being right next to you.

“Why are you even here?!”

“We were talking to Fury when Jeno just fell into a sudden pool of blood! I followed your tracker here because I figured you’re in trouble. Be grateful!”

“I never said I wasn’t?!” You heard a pang next to you and turned to your side, a circular shield blocking your vision for only a brief moment before connecting with Other Wong’s abdomen.

“Thanks,” you nodded towards Steve.

“No problem,” he says. “But where’d that bullet come from?” Cap looks around the room. Jaemin rushes next to you and grabs something, pointing it upwards. Within a few moments, someone materializes next to him. A classic cloaking spell, of course, right when you needed it most.

“Monsieur,” her voice was hoarse.

“Lynx,” you saw him grimace while the woman drove a knife into Jaemin’s side and twisted it harshly. A loud groan left the man’s throat while you darted next to him and tackled the woman to the ground.

“I like your D62 version better!” You pressed your gun to her head and she threw you off before you could pull the trigger.

“Nat!?” Steve blocked another gunshot from her with his shield.

“Not Nat,” Bucky answers.

“Where have you been?”

“This thing’s still glowing,” Bucky held up the crystal.

“Give that to me!” Chenle appears next to them and grabs it. “You meaty idiots don’t know what to do with this.”

“Was that an insult?”

“Apperio!” Chenle ignored the Captain and chanted the charm, a magic circle appeared around the crystal. Following the ripple of two blue circles that expanded throughout the room, two more people appeared.

“There’s more of them?!” You shot Vulture in the leg. Before you were two other notorious members of the Elite. Arachnid, who you fought before, and Dead Shot, someone you were hoping not to run into in this dimension. “Someone get Parker out of here as soon as he touches Arachnid it’s over!” You shout.

“Oh please, I wouldn’t even try that. What good is this mission if any of us blow up the dimension while we’re at it,” Arachnid catches the flying dagger and flings it back towards Jaemin, who easily dodged it.

“We have orders to keep you alive, Vendetta, comply and the others will live,” Dead Shot spoke in his trademarked mechanical voice.

“Fuck that,” you pointed your gun at Arachnid and click. Click, click. “Well, this is awkward,” you chucked the magnum at Arachnid, the handle of the gun hitting the area between the mutant’s eyes and stunning him briefly, while Dead Shot released a flurry of bullets. You ran along the wall to dodge them, looking for something to shield yourself with now that Cap and Bucky were busy with Lynx, Jeno had Vulture busy, and Jaemin moved over to Arachnid so that Peter could handle Evil-Wong instead.

“Surrender or be forced to, Vendetta.”

“Well, shit,” you held a book in front of you while Dead Shot went through consecutive rounds.

“How could you not know a Follower was here?!” Jeno was pushed back next to you while deflecting Vulture’s attacks.

“How the hell was I supposed to know?! I didn’t even know that those three were here until a couple of minutes ago!”

“Are you kidding me?!”

“No, I’m not kidding you because if I was we wouldn’t be in this mess!”

“It has been thirty minutes! I let you and Jaemin go for thirty minutes and this happens!”

“In our defense,” Jaemin gets pushed back to the other side of you and clears his throat. “Peter brought us here.”

“I said I’m sorry!” Peter brushes off the embers on his suit. “Aw man, how am I going to explain this to Mr. Stark?”

“Explain? Have you been reporting us to him?!” You asked.

“Uh… no,” Peter’s phone goes off and he answers it. “Hi, Mr. Stark, there’s kind of a situation going on right now—”

“Tell them not to come here! If any of the other Followers show up it could tear the fabric of reality apart!” Chenle shouts. A magic circle appears under Peter’s phone and it short circuits. Chenle adjusts the watch around his wrist, a much larger magic circle appearing from it.

“Vocavi te ab umbris,” at the utterance of the words the shadows in the room gathered together to a much larger amalgamate. “Go, Vendetta, I’ll keep them handled.”

“Fuck,” you spotted your backpack, which was pushed up against the wall on the other side of the room.

“What now?” Jeno asks.

“Backpack.”

“What about it?”

“There’s something really important in there,” Jaemin sounded disappointed. “We could hole-in-one it, V.”

“We could,” you said. “But that risks shaking it up too much.

“Hot potato then?” Jeno offers.

“Who would start it?”

“The closest person is Shotaro, if he throws it far enough I could probably catch it,” Jeno says. “Pass it over to Jaemin.”

“Then I’ll pass it to you. But by then you need to be in that hallway,” Jaemin says.

“Got it, I can do that.”

“And if anything goes wrong?”

“Wing it.”

“We’re going to die in this dimension, aren’t we?” Jeno frowns.

“On the count of three, break,” Jaemin says, ignoring his best friend’s words. You hand Jeno the old sword, which he took without question. “One.”

“What do I need this for?”

“Well, I certainly don’t need it.”

“Two.”

“Wait, are we even on the same page?”

“I don’t know, are we?”

“Three!” Jaemin shoved you forward and you took off, dodging literally everything on your way to get out and probably get some more help.

“Shotaro! Pass me that backpack!” Jeno shouts over the gunshots. Shotaro perked up and grabbed the black bag, chucking it towards Jeno, who caught it easily. “Monsieur— Fuck, too far, Apollo! Pass this over to him!” Jeno tossed the backpack towards Chenle, the heavy bag slamming into the magician mid-spell.

“What the hell?!”

“Pass it here!” Jaemin knocked over Lynx and used her head the propel himself up and grab the backpack after Chenle threw it. He ran over towards you and threw it. Right as your hand grabbed the strap, it was yanked away from you.

“Fuck!” You looked back at who had it now, seeing your backpack in the hands of the last person who should have it. You were about the run over to him, but the bullet that landed too close for comfort reminded you that you had to leave now. “Arachnid has it!” You’d just have to put your trust into the three that were already here.

“Got it,” Jeno bashed his knee into Vulture’s head, finally incapacitating the Follower and switched targets. You turned around and ran into the hallway. You just had to call one of the other members to run over here with some extra materials. You hit the side of your phone, which only frizzed at the motion. Chenle must have jammed the signals to prevent more reinforcements from coming, great. You couldn’t run around forever, Dead Shot always hit his targets in the end, you continued down the hallway, not bothering to look back, but when you found yourself cornered against a hallway, you forced to figure out a solution. With the smell of smoke and the sounds of bullets hitting the ground— Wait a second. You looked down the hallway, bullets hitting metal and ricocheting towards you but never hitting any intended destination, there wasn’t even a bullet hole in sight, instead there were just empty shells on the ground. But in your analysis you failed to notice the stray bullet that was right in front of you. Then you saw someone’s closed fist in front of you.

“Did I get all of them?” He panted. He opened his hand and twelve bullets fell out of it.

“Oh my god, Mark, you’re just in time, I don’t remember you being this fast either,” you caught your breath and hugged the speedster, separating quickly. Mark pat down the smoke on his boots.

“I don’t think I’ve ever run that fast…” He stretches his back and kicks the bullet shells aside.

“How’d you even get here?”

“The sorcerer guy called Baekhyun and asked us to come right away. I had a feeling it wasn’t anything good so I came first, told them I’d scout the area. It’s a good thing I came, otherwise you’d look like Sponge-Bob…” He laughs awkwardly. “You’re at your quota, aren’t you?” He looks down at your feet. You followed his gaze and saw the rusted knife sticking out from it, then you noticed the bloody trail you left behind. You sighed and pulled the old thing out.

“Remind me to get a Tetanus shot.”

“You are at your quota,” he gasped.

“Can’t afford to possibly die right now,” you shook your head. “I thought since the dimension was far enough it’d get me some leeway, but I guess not,” you grimaced.

“Shit, it really is a good thing that I came just in time,” Mark looks over his shoulder. “Dead Shot should be on his way, you didn’t make it hard to find you.”

“Don’t smart-mouth me right now, Mark.”

“Right, yeah, sorry about that,” the speedster ruffled his blue hair and unzipped his jacket, pulling out a book from it. It was heavy, no doubt, leather-bound with metal embellishments around it. The book had lived through as many eons as it did dimensions. You had asked Mark to try to get it for you if he could, but nothing more than that. Better to leave him in blissful ignorance. “Look, I don’t have a lot of time to say this,” he says while he hands it to you.

“Just spit it out.”

“I was looking into that thing you asked me about and here, this is all I got,” he says. “Whatever you need it for it’d better be important, I almost got turned into a frog for it. The guy I got it from warned me not to read it though.”

“Why?”

“I dunno, something about corrupting the person who reads it.”

“Oh shit, I should have Jeno read it then.”

“True, you can’t corrupt a demon.”

“But then again he is only half.”

“Look, (Y/N), I only got you the book because you were so insistent on it. Just reassure me and tell me that you won’t do anything stupid with it.”

“I won’t, I won’t, I may be stupid but I’m not that stupid, Mark. When are the others coming?”

“I just gave them the signal to enter, they’ll be taking care of the Follower problem here in a bit. But you’re going to have to explain why you’re here to them, and I’m afraid that it might involve you revealing your identities this time.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Why else would you be in D62 being housed and paid by this dimension’s Avengers?”

“Fair enough—” you were cut off by the bullet grazing your ear and landing in the wall behind you. Another one rang out and Mark grimaced, holding his hand to his shoulder

“Argh! Come on!” He grunts. He puts a hand on your back and one behind your neck.

“Why?”

“Whiplash,” you blinked and suddenly found yourself back in the Avenger’s Compound.

“Mark, don’t you dare!”

“Sorry! Jeno’s orders! I’d rather a pissed off you than Jeno!”

“Mark, I swear if you zoom out of here—” but the speedster was already gone by the time you turned around. “Dammit!” You kicked the wall and winced immediately, you completely forgot that it was the same foot that had a knife driven through it earlier.

He was right, you’d reached your quota. There was a certain amount of times you were allowed to “die” until it would be too much, and you knew you’d be at this quota when your body would stop healing itself, it was getting ready for its original host to return. You just didn't think you’d reach it soon, and who knows until the number resets? It was always a varying number, and until it did you had to lay low. It was such a hassle that you always tried to avoid it, but coming to this dimension seemed to have expedited the whole thing. You heard a bag of chips drop behind you.

“(Y/N)? When did you get here?” Jisung stared at you while he picked up the bag.

“Mark.”

“Mark’s here? Where?” Jisung looks around.

“There was a complication at Dr. Strange’s place,” you limped towards him, he rushed over to you and reached for your hand to help you, but you tugged it away. “I’m fine.”

“Oh, okay,” Jisung gave you a little more space, but still walked next to you, sporting that easy-to-read concern. “Do they need help?”

“No. The Avengers are coming.”

“Oh… oh no,” Jisung caught onto why you were being short now. “Oh no, oh no, we won’t have a choice then.”

“No, we won’t,” you heaved the large book under your arm. Jisung looked at it but chose not to question you. “I’ll be in my room, I have a lot of thinking to do before we explain ourselves to the lapdogs so, if you need me, I’ll be in there,” Jisung says.

“Oi, (Y/N)!” Haechan held his hand up and Jisung furiously shook his head. Hyuck pressed on regardless. “Think you need this,” he waved the small box in his hand and you did a doubletake.

“Where did you get that?!” You rushed forward and snatched it out of his hands. “Be a bit more gentle with it!”

“Whoa! What’s got you pissed? Jeno drowned and dropped this. Changmin said to give it to you so I figured it’s important, damn.”

“The Avengers are coming.”

“Like… these Avengers?” He points around the room. “Or our Avengers.”

“The second one,” Jisung nods. “Right, (Y/N)?” You didn’t answer, you were already halfway to your room. You tossed the book on your bed and you opened the small box, pulling the vial of iridescent liquid from it. You twisted it open and downed its limited contents in one gulp. You felt all of your muscles relax at once and you sat on the bed. The wound on your foot closed quickly.

“Postponed, at least for now,” you stretched your arms. “But not permanently,” you placed the vial back in the box and you grabbed the book. As you held the two sides in your hands, ready to open it, you recalled Mark’s warning. Then you remembered the words of the Demon King himself.

“If you know what’s good for you, and what’s good for the world you reside in. Do not seek more than you already know about yourself.”

The times you spoke to Jeno’s father were limited, and your best friend liked it that way, preferred it actually, but the times you did talk they were always pleasant. Save for that warning. He knew something you didn’t, the both of them. You acquired this book without any of their knowledge. For years you just went with it, there’s a quota for death, there’s a reason why you can’t die, there’s a reason why you should avoid stepping near the Seraph, but now in this new universe, you had to know. There was something calling out to you in this dimension, it was very faint, and you didn’t truly notice it until you walked into the Sanctum.

You put the book away, sliding it under the bed.

Trust is mutual, if two very powerful beings are telling you to stay in your lane you probably should. You knew the bare minimum of your condition, so to say, you knew what you had to. Die too many times too close together and something else will come and reclaim its host, and all you knew about that entity was that it was some eldritch creature that took a millennia to finally contain, and for some reason, it had some affinity for you. That is where your knowledge stopped and your curiosity began. What could be so powerful that even the all-powerful Demon King wanted to keep it contained, and what did it have to do with you? Your answers were under your bed. But you risked too much by simply opening the book on its own. You hit your head lightly on the wall behind you. The liquid in the vial would extend your quota by at most three, you had to use them carefully. If you were going to attract a horrific monster, it would probably be best to not do it in a world that you didn’t belong to.

There was a knock at your door.

“What do you want, Renjun?”

The door opened slowly, and someone else stood at it.

“Is now a bad time?” Stark asks. You shook your head.

“It’s your building, come in,” you sighed. He walked in at your invitation, sitting at the table to the side.

“So this is what S.H.I.E.L.D. meant by living accommodations,” he laughs.

“What did you need, Mr. Stark?”

“Tony’s fine, thanks,” he says. “Sorry, it was eating away at me, I had to ask.”

“You wanna know about what you’re like in my dimension, right?”

“I’d appreciate it, but, something tells me I should come back later.”

“Oh, no, no, it’s fine.”

“Where are your friends?”

“Probably getting their asses kicked, but I’m here instead,” you shrugged. “Honestly, you’re not that different. Maybe a little less depressed, but that’s about it. For what it counts, to our knowledge, you aren’t a Follower. You work closely with the Seraph, if they found out then you would’ve been executed on spot, at the very least.”

“Oh yeah? Crazy leader or rational one?”

“Bit of both,” you leaned forward on your bed, kicking the book further under your bed. “Want to know anything else?”

“I was wondering if you could walk me through your Traveler of yours, is it anything like Time Travel?”

“Let’s call it two sides of the same coin.”

“How so? What do you use? Cosmic strings? Möbius strip?”

“Have you heard of the infinite cylinder theory?”

“Also known as Tipler?

“Yes!”

“Then yes, I’m aware.”

“How about Schrödinger’s Equation?”

“We’re talking hamiltonian operators?”

“Bingo. If you can manipulate those two concepts, you can get time travel, but it’s not perfect. So manipulate them differently, add a few more concepts because you have to take relativity into account, and bam. Dimensional Travel.”

“That easy?”

“Yeah, well, no, but in theory sure.”

“And you never went to high school?”

“What’s that got to do with it? If you need a degree to prove you’re right then you’re probably not the sharpest tool in the shed,” you shrug. Tony opened his mouth to retaliate, but couldn’t think of a good comeback to that. “Something tells me you want to ask me something more specific though, Peter let slip that he’s been sending you updates, so I’m sure you’re here for a different reason.”

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why help us?”

“Don’t really know how to answer that one, Tony,” you placed your ankle on your opposite knee and rolled out your ankle. “Usually we just take whichever job pays the most, but Changmin asked us personally to take this one, so how could we say no? The guy rarely ever asks us favors, and it was the least we could do.”

“That simple?”

“What? Did you want me to say that we wanted to meet you guys? I mean, it’s certainly a plus. Most of your team happen to be carbon copies of the same one who wants to kill us, so there’s that, we’re observing the ways you act, maybe it’ll help us in the future, maybe not. It’s like a two-way deal, you get your Traveler, and we get data.”

“Data,” Tony scoffs. “I can see why you’d come to that conclusion.”

“What can I say? It’s helpful. But, I can definitely say that we might be relieved of our duties soon, we’re technically here illegally, I’ll have you know,” you said to him. “We’re supposed to get official approval from the Secretary of Travel before jumping dimensions, but we’re not exactly law followers so we never did. But now that an official government team is on their way, hoo boy, my greatest rival is yet to come. Paperwork,” you made light of what would otherwise be a very very bad situation.

“I heard, so we get to meet the other Avengers.”

“Yup. And, let me tell you right now, they’re not the nicest people.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, just you wait until I tell you about them.”

The shadow amalgamate shattered into what it once was, scurrying back to their original positions, once Chenle had the wind knocked out of him by Lynx. He landed harshly on Jaemin, who then lost his balance and sent the two tumbling down to the first floor of the Sanctum.

“Sorry,” Chenle rolled off the top of Jaemin.

“It’s fine, call it even for the incident with the banshee.”

“Agreed, ugh, my head’s doing cartwheels…”

“Cartwheels? I feel like mine is being churned,” Jaemin holds his head. Chenle and Jaemin lay next to each other for a moment, trying to stop their spinning heads when someone stood over them.

“Are we bothering you, gentlemen?”

“Ugh, these fuckers are here,” Jaemin covered his eyes with his arms. “Tell me when they’re gone, Apollo.”

“That’s kind of mean,” Mark frowns. Jaemin moves his hand.

“Mark’s not a bad person, actually, Tony. I feel bad because I encouraged him to join the Avengers when they asked, but the other guys saw it as a complete betrayal. But he’s loyal, he doesn’t hate us and we don’t hate him, or at least I don’t.”

“Oh look! The traitor!” He lazily points at him. “Do you know how much shit we’ve been through since you left?”

“All the dishes we’ve had to wash?”

“V won’t even let us take your room because she thinks you’re coming back! You dumb traitor, what happened to our friendship bracelets, Mark?! Huh?!”

“You guys, don’t call me that, come on! Look I’m still wearing it!” Mark whines.

“Go away! You left us for your cooler friends who can legally blow things up, go! Go have fun with them!” Chenle points an accusing finger towards the speedster.

“Just leave them there,” Mark whispers.

“We’re looking for Strange,” a deeper voice says.

“Oh my god, is that Wong Yukhei?” Jaemin asks, his blurred vision not helping him at all. “You know, Vendetta has a cardboard cutout of you, I think she talks to it sometimes,” he laughs, his words slightly slurred as a result of the head damage received when he fell on the hard floors in the first place.

“Flattered,” Yukhei responds.

“Wong Yukhei, decorated soldier from the order of war and the first in the super-soldier experiments. Actually not a bad guy, but feels the need to flex his bravado every now and then because of the team he’s on, and honestly, I kind of relate to that.”

“The hatless wizard is somewhere upstairs,” Chenle points up and lets his arm drop to his side. “We’d help, but you guys look like one big ugly walrus right now.” Jaemin starts cracking up and the two high five.

“Do we have to work with them?” Another voice snapped.

“Li Yongqin, Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul, Lee Youngheum, he has too many names to remember so people usually just call him Ten. He was a perfect student in the military academies, which I’m guessing where his nickname comes from. But he’s pretty impatient, rather ill-tempered from my experience."

“We don’t have a choice,” a more suave on this time.

“Ooh, Lee Taemin. He's an interesting one, Tony. We’re actually pretty close, or used to be at least. He’s very good at what he does, he has years of experience under his belt, but it’s pretty scary. He’s probably done his research by now, be careful, he knows you better than you know yourself. Don’t argue.”

“Gentlemen, let’s end this, we have clearance from the Seraph to exterminate the Followers,” a more powerful one.

“Oh, oh, Lee Taeyong! He’s great. I’ve seen him work a couple of times, I think he’s shot me in the head before. Don’t ask. I have a great deal of respect for him, but he’s kind of anti-social, not easy to get along with him, but I think it’s all miscommunication in the end. I think if we really got to know each other we’d hit it off, but otherwise, I think I’m just a person with a bounty on her head in his eyes.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Jaemin pushed himself up, his eyes finally focusing. “Exterminate? Yeah, you guys do that, but let the Maverick leave first, we don’t want to get caught up in your deathmatch again,” Jaemin hits the side of his head a few times.

“Where’s the Vendetta?”

“Not here! She left because Reaper was being a little bitch!” Jaemin laughs again and Chenle joins him.

“We’re wasting our time here with these idiots,” another person says. Chenle squints his eyes to make out the figure.

“Now there’s Kim Jongin, he’s one of the people who started the Avengers project and got them all together. He’s an indispensable member, in my opinion. But when you’re in a team with that many star-studded members who are constantly in the public eye, it’s easy to get lost in the lights. But he knows how to keep things according to itinerary.”

“Who are you again?” He asks. “I thought the Avengers only had six members,” he stifles back a laugh.

“Dude that’s low!” Jaemin cackles. Mark swallows down a laugh when Taemin looks over at him, both of them trying to be respectful to their teammate.

“I know that’s why I said it!” Chenle hits his teammate’s arm and Jaemin winces, but the two continue in their little circus.

“Forget them, let’s just go,” Jongin. The team ascends the steps.

“Enter, the Avengers,” Baekhyun smiles.

“And finally there’s their leader. Byun Baekhyun— yes, he’s my older brother, no we don’t talk, and I don’t think he even knows I’m alive. He’s similar to you in some aspects, he pays for all of their shit. But he’s manipulative. He knows how to get into your head. Be careful with him.”

General Tag List: @vickylamore @yeongwvnhi @mizzdivagirl7-blog @sehunnies-hunnie96 @roses09020617 @bat-shark-repellant @cloudreads @awesomei @raeincitizen @here-aeth

Locked and Reloaded: @leesalts @lublyrecs @beefchippp @hiqhkey @tyuningkai @p-mini @ellie-idk-anymore @mischiefmakerliesmith5 @gaiyofanfiction @lucyinthesunshinee

If you want to be added to either tag list just send me a reply to this post, and ask, or a DM and I’ll add you as soon as possible!

#nct #nct dream #nct u #marvel #nct x reader #nct dream x reader #nct u x reader #nct fics #nct dream fics #nct u fics #my writings #L&R

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mashi-sims · 4 years ago

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Ranking AHW's S5 Episodes

I know that ranting about how bad some of the episodes this season were isn’t going to change the fact that they were, in fact, bad, but I still wanted to do an overview of this season in my opinion, and I love ranking stuff, so here it goes:

Also, I should mention that, yes, this is Cooliver biased, although I did take other plotlines into consideration, but mostly Cooliver. Also, lol, I could only add 10 photos so the #13, #12 and #11 don't get one, also they don't deserve it.

Tier 1: I wish they could be un-written, please.

13. 5x12 How Oliver Got His Groove Back

I’ll start with my least favorite episode, and the one we all wish we could unsee. This is the episode where Oliver is feeling down because the girl WE, THE AUDIENCE, just realized he liked, doesn’t like him back (which is a whole other thing), so Katie gets him a date with this girl that’s never been introduced in the show before. Oliver doesn’t want to see her, but he still does, and then he realizes she’s nice, and just like that, he’s happy again. I feel like this plot would not have been that bad if it hadn’t been so out of character, unexplained, and utterly designed to be filler for the season. Worst episode from my perspective, wouldn’t watch it again, barely watched it the first time, ugh, next-

12. 5x11 The Guardian

Same thing with this one, very uneventful episode that talks nonsense, introduces the idea of Oliver liking Lindsay and thinking they’d been dating, but nobody knew about it! How convenient! And again, doesn’t progress into anything, and it just feels out of character, forced, and like they didn’t even try to hide that it was a filler episode. Wouldn’t watch it again, I don’t even think about it, I’ve erased it from my mind. The only reason why this episode is ahead of 5x12 is because of Kathryn and Anna-Kat, and JD trying to find his egg donor, other than that, still pretty ugh.

Tier 2: Did the writers really look at their script and think; “ah, well done”?!

11. 5x07 Under Pressure

I kinda enjoyed this episode even if it didn’t include any Cooliver. I liked Anna-Kat’s storyline about not feeling her popularity and sticking to Franklin, I really really love these two together! So cute! Also, Taylor helping Oliver relax and not stress out that much was nice, although not amazing. Katie and Greg’s double date that led to a city council rivalry, I don’t care for it. Overall, I don’t know if this was intended to be a filler episode, but it totally felt like one to me; a nice episode but not one I’d watch again.

10. 5x05 Kids These Days

Eh, pretty uneventful. Katie wants Franklin and Anna-Kat to be more edgy and to take more risks, ends up in completely nothing. Oliver wants Boosterin and he accidentally drugs Greg, also ends up doing nothing for the storyline. The only thing I liked about this episode was seeing how Cooper cared about Oliver and how Oliver said “Your boy is doing both”, the Cooliver content was still good; other than that, eh. Also, the strange order in episodes this season really threw me off.

9. 5x04 Homeschool Sweet Homeschool

Nice episode, but not one of the best. Mommy blog, Cooliver moves to the basement, Andre shows up and it’s all weird now, eh. I enjoyed this episode because of the Cooliver’s interactions more than anything, but it’s not the greatest in my opinion.

Tier 3: *Sits down on the couch with popcorn and a blanket*

8. 5x06 Mother’s Little Helper

I also enjoyed Cooliver this episode. Although their drinking arc was pretty pointless and, again, ended up being nothing!!, I liked seeing them together, and that shaking they gave each other was funny. This is the episode where Tami was introduced, and I really liked her from the beginning, although I do wish they would’ve given Katie’s original second breakfast club some sort of closure so I wouldn’t feel so guilty about liking Tami and JD, eventually.

7. 5x02 Psych

This episode always made me feel stupid because I never understood what was going on with Taylor, why she didn’t take her gap year, why she never told Katie and Greg that she had gotten in, or at least make something out of it, why she decided to go to another college or if Greg got her in just so she didn’t have to take a gap year, bUT THEN I realized they didn’t actually talk about it, so I’m not the stupid one, I think.

Nevertheless, I really enjoyed this episode. I like Katie’s storyline of getting involved in other people’s lives after she sells her lasagna business (again, did they ever talk about that or am I stupid?)

This is the episode where we can see the change in Cooliver’s dynamic (a good thing), and the iconic line “stop bothering our boyfriends” saved my life. Having Taylor And Trip with Cooper and Oliver hanging out in the same frame is one of my favorite things and adds a few days to my life.

Franklin and Anna-Kat’s relationship also picks up in this season, and I really enjoy them in this episode. Also, Greg was very funny here, and I am grateful lol.

6. 5x08 Encourage, Discourage

I really liked how this was a Cooper-centered episode, really diving deep into his character instead of keeping him as a shallow side-character. By the way, how did Cooper get so much development and Oliver lost most of his? What was that? Anyway, Cooper saved this episode. I would’ve liked for Oliver to be a more supportive friend in this episode, but he was still there, at least.

Also, Cooper doesn’t think he’s too good for Oliver! Bless his heart.

5. 5x10 Getting Frank with The Ottos

I liked this episode very much! Again, Anna-Kat and Franklin melted my heart, but Oliver and Cooper squeezed it with Cooper’s realization of not wanting to go to Harvard, but Oliver eventually understanding and supporting him? Please, get married. Also, Oliver saying “We’re Cooliver”, and Trevor asking them if they were breaking up made my day. Could’ve been better and a bit more eventful, but it was good nonetheless.

4. 5x13 The Election

I really liked the finale, despite not having any Cooliver at all, the ending was pretty awesome, and I believe it really sets the tone for what could potentially be a great S6, that is if that’s actually happening AND if the writers stop it with the bullshit. Franklin and Anna-Kat getting engaged was very sweet, I adore them! Taylor and Trip getting really engaged was a bit cringe, but still adorable, and I love it! I just wish they had paid more attention to Oliver in this episode, but well, I guess his bang is not here yet and not every episode can be a banger. I hope that whatever comes next will be good enough that the wait will be worth it.

Tier 4: *Chef’s kiss, no pun intended*

3. 5x01 Graduation

Although this episode doesn’t really belong to this season, and it doesn’t share the same 〜vibe〜 with the rest of the episodes, since it has more of a S3-S4 energy, it’s still in S5 and I wanted to include it, too.

Not my favorite, but it’s one of the good ones imo. So much stuff happens in this episode that it almost feels cramped and overwhelming to me, with the graduation and the wedding, but I get that it was necessary to set the scene for S5 and close S4 even if it didn’t turn out the way they’d originally planned, and it came out fine considering the situation the producers were in, which can’t be said for every episode this season lol.

Taylor and Trip were adorable in this episode, Cooper was amazing, Oliver moping around was something I didn’t know I needed in my life, and Lonnie’s speech about not wanting his relationship with Greg to end, even if I never cared for his storyline, was really nice.

This episode made me think that S5 was headed toward amazing things, but not everything was good.

2. 5x09 The Heist

I love this episode because of Cooper’s development. Again, why couldn’t Oliver get that too? However, I did like how they made Oliver seem like he might’ve been a bit thirsty for his fellow Cooper over there, telling him multiple times that he’s good looking? Come on, tell us what you really mean.

Anyway, Cooliver really shone this episode, round of applause.

1. 5x03 Coupling

This episode is superior, bite me. I love everything about this episode, not only Cooliver. Katie and Greg trying to be supportive of their kids having sex with their boyfriends? Yes! Parallels between all four couples? Yes, please! Cooper and Oliver having their first married couple fight, Cooper feeling like he’s being replaced, but Oliver is doing it for the both of them and their future together? Yes! Masterpiece of an episode. I have no more to say.

Hands down, my favorite episode this season. Too bad mostly everything went downhill after that. I hope we do get a season 6 and that things pick up. This series deserves redemption, and Cooper and Oliver deserve to be happily in love together. Thank you.

#Cooliver #American Housewife #Oliver Otto #cooper bradford #cooper x oliver

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nerdypanda3126 · 3 years ago

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Don’t Know What Hit Him – Chapter 4

The night of the dance and Adrien gets more than he bargained for when he tries to be there for Marinette as both her dance partner and her confidant.

Read on Ao3

First Chapter | Previous Chapter

The night of the dance, Adrien fidgeted with his Miraculous as he waited for Marinette to come down the stairs. Her parents were “keeping their distance” if it could be called that—her dad was sitting on the couch facing Adrien, pretending to read a newspaper upside down, hiding a knowing smile. And her mom was in the kitchen, wiping clean counters down while keeping an eye turned to him. He didn’t mind, not really; he was used to being monitored. In fact he could barely focus on them.

He was taking Marinette to the dance. As himself. Knowing what she wanted to tell him and… still not really knowing what he’d say back. Not to mention supporting her as Chat Noir from the wings—he was having a hard time not berating himself for agreeing to that one. He should’ve said anything else, but she just looked so lost and hopeful when she’d asked him and he couldn’t help but want to do anything to put a smile back on her face.

His breath caught when her trap door opened and a pair of black ballet flats emerged. Followed by the rustling of her tulle skirt and a gentle waft of perfume she’d decided to wear tonight. And Marinette.

He swore his heart stopped for an entire minute looking at her.

She had her hair swept up and off her shoulders with gentle tendrils falling around the sides of her face. He couldn’t be sure if she was blushing or wearing a subtle amount of makeup, but either way, the soft pink of her cheeks under the beautiful blue of her eyes…

She was glowing.

Her dad had apparently come up behind him and clapped him on the shoulder good-naturedly, making him stumble a small step forward and breaking him out of the spell. He shook his head and stepped up to give her a hand down the stairs.

“Marinette, you look…” he tried to say as she came down to his level. Instead he just ended up gaping at her again and forced himself to close his mouth. “Amazing. You look amazing.”

She turned bright red and dropped her gaze to the small purse in her hands, a glittery silver thing she must’ve made for the occasion, too. Without thinking about it, his hand tightened around hers and she gave a little gasp, her lips parting in surprise.

“Well, you kids better get going,” Tom said, bringing Adrien back down to earth with a bump. “But before you go…” Adrien turned and Tom was holding up a camera sheepishly, making a pushing motion with his hands to indicate he should stand next to Marinette. He took the cue and moved into place, offering Marinette his arm.

He hoped his dopey grin wasn’t too obvious in the picture. But when her hand had curled around his bicep, he swore he could’ve died happy.

***

The walk over to the school was quiet. She’d stayed close, but her grip had turned into a vice around his arm and he noticed her taking ragged breaths. He wished he knew what to say to her, but he was having his own heart attack and could barely keep one foot moving in front of the other.

It was easier when they’d arrived and Alya and Nino were there. It felt more like hanging out at class, except Alya was wearing a glittering sequined orange gown and Nino had an orange flower tucked in his breast pocket. He panicked when he noticed Alya had a matching bunch of flowers tied around her wrist.

Should he have thought to get Marinette something like that, too? Or was that something only couples did? Was he a couple with Marinette now? Would he be after tonight?

Nino seemed to notice something was off with him, but was easily distracted when the music started up and he made a beeline for the deejay stand. Probably to line up some requests of what he thought was more suitable music since he had refused the gig to be here with Alya. And speaking of Alya, she had nudged Marinette in the ribs with a knowing smile and disappeared soon after they got there. Now that he knew he wondered how long Alya had known, too. How long had he been embarrassing himself by saying Marinette was ‘just a friend’ when…

He nearly groaned thinking about it. But then a song came on that he recognized. The slow song he’d danced to with Marinette at Chloe’s party. It seemed forever ago, but when he looked over at her, she seemed to be remembering, too, as a pink flush spread across her cheeks.

“Do you want to dance?” he asked, sounding much more brave than he felt. He was pretty sure his hand was shaking as he offered it to her again.

She looked up at him with wide, fearful eyes, and he could tell she was about to start panicking unless he did something to ease her mind. He let his smile twitch up into his Chat smirk and tilted his head in an effort to be endearing.

But that seemed to make it worse because her eyes went impossibly wider.

“Bathroom!” she cried, and he felt his eyebrows knit together as he tried to understand. “I mean… I need to…” she gestured awkwardly and tried to laugh, but she stopped and turned away to stride stiffly out the door that led to the lockers.

He took a deep breath. She did say she’d need help, and that’s why she’d asked Chat Noir to show up, too. Maybe that was his cue. He opened his jacket to check that Plagg was still nestled in his inside breast pocket before he went out the way they’d come to find a safe place to transform.

***

Even with his night vision, it took him a moment to find her huddled up against her locker. He dropped in from the window, making more noise than necessary, and set his face in a smirk, planning to offer her a catty line and make her smile.

But when she looked up at him, that thought went straight out the window. She stood and advanced on him with anger flashing in her eyes and before he knew it he was backed against the wall as she prodded her finger into his chest.

“You!” she cried. “You… you… mangy tomcat!” She poked him with each word for emphasis, and even though he didn’t feel it through the suit, he still rubbed at the spot when she whirled away from him.

“After years of this stupid crush, I finally get up the nerve to tell him how I feel, and you come around and… ugh!” She threw herself down on the bench and hid her face in her arms. “I can’t do this…” he heard her mutter.

“Yes, you can, Marinette,” he said gently, moving to sit next to her. But she flinched away as he tried to put his arm around her shoulders. He scratched the back of his head, letting his claws drag through his hair before he dropped his hand to his lap to fiddle with his ring instead.

“I can’t…” she said, heaving a sigh before she turned to set her cheek on her arm and look at him. “Because…”

He didn’t realize he was holding his breath. She blushed and hid her face again to take a deep breath.

“Because I think I’m in love with someone else?” The words left her in a rush and he wasn’t entirely sure he’d heard right.

After a pause, she peeked back up at him and the realization hit him like he’d stood in front of the Métro and let it pin him to the rails.

His ears fluttered before he could help it, picking up the sound of footsteps coming towards them. With an apologetic glance at Marinette, he ducked into an open locker and hid just as Alya walked in.

“Marinette?” Alya’s voice asked.

“Over here,” Marinette called back. In the crack he could see through, he could tell her eyes were still fixed on his hiding spot.

“Are you okay? You kinda ran out and left Adrien hanging.”

“Um, yeah. Yeah, I’m fine, just had a… moment…” She gestured to herself and Alya sighed.

“Well, take your time, I guess. Nino’s trying to find Adrien now, but it looks like he ran off, too.”

“He… he did?”

“Yeah, but I know how much you wanted to talk to him tonight.”

Marinette smiled, but it was off somehow, like she was far away. “Yeah, I did,” she agreed, her voice trailing off wistfully. Alya sighed again, but didn’t say anything else and Adrien heard the door swing shut after her.

He let the locker door swing open on its own, then stepped out to stand in front of Marinette again, tapping his claw against his wrist and his boot against the floor as a way to try to channel his energy. She wasn’t saying anything, just looking at him, waiting for him to say something apparently but he had no words. He coughed and sat next to her again, letting his head hang like she’d been scolding him.

“Marinette… I…” He tapped his claws together, letting the clicks echo in the space around them.

“You… love Ladybug,” she said, sighing. “I know.”

“No!” He turned to face her, then winced as he realized what he’d objected to. “I mean, yes, but… I think…” He snuck a glance at her before he looked back down at his boots. “I think you’ve always been important to me, and I’m just now realizing… what that actually means.” He leaned back and let his head dangle as he looked at the ceiling, trying to find the words he needed written there. Marinette seemed to be holding her breath. He let his eyes fall on her fully for the first time since she’d…

Confessed. Marinette confessed to him. As Chat Noir. Before he could help it that dopey grin split his face again.

“You’re amazing, Marinette,” he said, letting the warmth of what he was feeling spill over into his words. He came back to himself, though, as her smile answered his. “But… I still think you should talk to Adrien.”

Her face fell and he rushed to reassure her. “Not that—I mean, I can’t, you know? It’s been reckless enough that I’ve been spending time with you, let alone…” He swallowed thickly as he thought the words. Dating. Marinette.

She nodded thoughtfully. “I guess you’re right.” She laid a hand on her purse and reached up to run a finger around her earring before she let out another one of those heavy sighs.

There was a long pause between them as he hated himself for rejecting her and she was lost in her thoughts. He wanted so badly to wrap an arm around her, but instead he just sat there fiddling with his ring and wishing he could comfort her as Adrien.

“Thank you,” she said quietly, “for the dance lessons.” Her eyes flicked back up to his and she leaned over, hesitating the smallest amount, before she brushed her lips against his cheek just under his mask. “And for… everything else.”

Before he could even think to move, she’d hopped up and hurried away, only looking back once before she slipped out the door. His fingers reached up to touch his cheek where she’d kissed him. It brought back a memory—Hero’s Day. When she’d gotten up on her toes and cradled his head between her hands and pressed her lips to the same place. Firmly, purposefully.

He let his head fall into his hands and groaned. Why had he been such an idiot?

***

Back on the dance floor, Adrien had one mission. To find her and tell her how he really felt. No mask, nothing held back. It was too important to keep to himself.

She was leaning against the wall, her head down, contemplating the drink in her hand when he walked up. She glanced up at him and gave him a glum smile. He found a spot next to her and settled into it, tucking his hands in his pockets in what he knew was one of his model poses, but he couldn’t help trying to look casual.

She took a breath and he waited for her to say something, but she just shook her head and set her cup down.

“Did you still want to dance?” she asked, and he was so taken aback by the direct question that all he could do was nod. She reached down and took his hand to pull him along before she found a spot near the edge of the floor.

He went for a ballroom frame, but she went to rest her hands on his shoulders and there was an awkward moment as they both realized their mistake and tried to switch. Adrien chuckled and rubbed the nape of his neck before he took a step closer and let his hands rest on her hips like he’d done with her before as Chat Noir. She fell into step with him easily and they started swaying along to the song that was playing.

For the life of him, he couldn’t think of anything to say. Marinette seemed to be in a similar boat because they were both silent as they danced.

But then Marinette stepped on his foot and he couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped him. “Too bad I didn’t wear steel-toed boots,” he joked, grinning, but his words stopped her in her tracks. She blinked up at him, frozen in his arms, and he felt a blush creep up his cheeks at her scrutiny.

“I… I mean… you know, because they’d be helpful? Not that… I’m not saying you’re a disaster zone or anything, just that...”

With that her face scrunched into a concentrated frown and she took a step back to look at him. What’d he say? He was backtracking through his words trying to figure out what it was when she grabbed his right hand and flipped it over to look at his ring.

There weren’t enough curse words in the world for the panic that bubbled up in his chest as he saw the realization wash over her.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” she muttered. Her eyes finally bounced back up to his, and he had to blink back into focus because she was chewing on her lip while she thought.

When his brain caught up, he heard his mouth saying, “Marinette, I can explain—”

But she cut him off with a hand over his lips. It took her a full ten seconds—he counted—for her to realize what she’d done and jerk her hand back, blushing furiously. She wrapped her fingers around his wrist instead and marched him back over to the door that led to the lockers.

When they were alone, she instantly started pacing, twirling a finger around her earring as she muttered to herself. He scratched his calf with the top of his shoe as he waited for her to reach some sort of conclusion about what to say to him.

She stopped short to look at him, opened her mouth, blushed crimson, then hid her face behind her hands as she sank to sit on the bench. Gingerly, he took the seat beside her and hung his head to look at his shoes.

“This isn’t happening,” she said from behind her fingers. “Tell me this isn’t happening.”

He fiddled with his ring and when she saw it out of the corner of her eye she let out a mortified squeal before she hid again.

“Look at it this way,” he ventured, “you’ve already told me what you needed to say.” She groaned in response, which made him chuckle. “Twice, actually, so…” He shrugged. “I guess it’s my turn?”

One blue eye peeked over at him and he took a deep breath. “I asked you to the dance tonight because I wanted to tell you… it took hearing those words from you to make me realize…”

Here goes.

“You’re… more than just a friend to me, Marinette. For a while now, I guess, maybe even before you asked me to give you dance lessons, and I don’t really know…”

He felt her turn towards him and level him with a look.

“But you’re in love with Ladybug,” she said, her tone accusing. “You even said tonight… while you were…” She pointed to the other side of the bench where their previous conversation had taken place as her voice failed her.

He nodded. “It’s still there. But… it’s difficult to explain, I guess. She’s my partner, and I think a small part of me will always hope… but it feels… different with you?” He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “But it doesn’t at the same time. I feel the same talking with you as when I’m fighting an akuma with her. It’s this pounding… fluttering…” He gestured with his hand over his chest, thumping it erratically along with what it felt like his heart was doing, and swallowed thickly. “Sorry, I’m trying, it’s just that it’s important and…”

When he got the nerve to look over at her, she was watching him curiously. He shook his head and laughed at himself.

“It's precisely when something is important, that it's important to say it, no matter what, right?” she asked, finishing his unspoken thought. But he hadn’t said that to Marinette, he’d said it to—

His head snapped up. She was still blushing, but she was smiling at him, and fiddling with her earring. The exact same way he was fiddling with his ring. He caught her hand to pull it away, then brushed the strand of hair that always fell in front of her ear back behind it instead.

As he did, it all clicked into place.

No wonder he’d been so confused—he’d fallen for Marinette. Twice. Once, hard and fast. Irrevocable. A fact of the universe. He loved the girl behind the mask. And the second time, just as hard but in slow motion, like tripping over his tail in her room, like getting his feet trod on just to reassure her, like seeing her for the first time with that halo of light around her.

He must’ve been staring because she pulled away from him and looked away, shy again.

“You’re…” he breathed, but he couldn’t seem to finish the thought. No possible way he was this lucky. No way this was real. Marinette, his amazing classmate, one of his best friends, their everyday Ladybug—

At that he stopped and had to laugh at himself again. Some part of him knew. Some part of him felt that she was the one he was waiting for and had been trying to get him to realize it since those words first passed his lips. He’d already made the connection, he was just—

“I’m an idiot,” he managed to say, then swept her hand back up to press a kiss to the back of her knuckles. A small little ‘eep’ came out of her and he couldn’t help smiling against her hand. “Forgive me, Milady, for not seeing it before.”

Out of habit, it seemed, she pushed his nose away and tapped it for good measure.

“Silly kitty,” she muttered, which made a dopey grin spread across his face before he could help it as she looked away again, blushing.

“Your silly kitty,” he said proudly. Her eyes snapped back to him then, and he shrugged innocently. “If you’ll have me, that is.”

“Ha-hav-have you?” she stammered, her face boiling from a light pink to a deep crimson in a matter of seconds.

His hand shook this time as he reached over to take hers, lacing their fingers together to try to make his intent as clear as he could. She looked down at their joined hands incredulously, staring, and it made him chuckle again.

“Partners?” he asked, the word loaded with so many different meanings after what had transpired between them.

“P-Partners?” she repeated, those blue eyes blinking up at him, that pink blush glowing on her cheeks. His hand tightened around hers as his grin shifted into a smirk.

“You know, like dance partners, partners in crime-fighting, that kind of thing.” He brought her hand up to his lips again, smiling as he caught her eyes. “And hopefully partners in other things, too.”

She stood abruptly, one of her typical Marinette-style flutterings taking over her, and her calf got locked in the bench. Her arms flailed wildly as she tried to steady herself, backwards first, then forwards, straight into him. He caught her with an arm around her waist as they both toppled into the lockers, and Adrien winced as the metal clanged against his back.

Her hands were splayed out over his chest, her face mere inches away from his and he was so tempted to lean in and close that distance. Instead, his mouth was moving before his brain had caught up again.

“So which one of us was the bull that time and which was the china shop?” he heard himself ask, laughing.

She smacked his shoulder and untangled herself, accepting his help to plant her feet solidly in front of him. He held onto her hand, and she still seemed transfixed by that small gesture. Finally, she looked up at him, her blush cleared, that steely look in her eyes that he would recognize anywhere. Her hand squeezed his and she smiled.

“I think I remember someone saying it’d be a shame if the guy I was trying to impress doesn’t get to see all my hard work. Learning that dance and everything.”

He smirked, then wiped it away, replacing it with feigned innocence. “You learned how to dance, Marinette? Who could’ve possibly taught you all their amazing, impressive moves?”

She rolled her eyes, but started to lead him towards the door, back to the dance floor. “Some mangy tomcat who thinks he’s got it all.”

His hand tightened around hers. “Don’t I, though?”

He couldn’t see her face as she led him away, but he was pretty sure she was sporting a pleased smile and a beautiful blush. And as he held her close on the dance floor, swaying along with her to the music he was sure was playing but that he couldn’t be bothered to care about, he couldn’t help but think it was the start of something very, very good.

#miraculous ladybug #ml fic #mlb fic #adrinette #adrienette #marichat #adrien agreste #marinette dupain cheng #chat noir #luck of the draw #fic title: don't know what hit him

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draggingthedregs · 4 years ago

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as i said earlier, it is an ungodly length but i hope you can enjoy my late night, book-drunk opinions anyway!

***

guess who just finished “ruin and rising”?

i’m seriously not okay. someone send help. i got lots of thoughts, none of which you are obligated to read but this seems like the best place to share.

oh and spoilers, duh.

for starters. woah.

i can’t say it was what i expected but i had known that what my heart really wanted was kinda far out of reach. the ending felt real and feasible, complete with love and loss.

in terms of “ruin and rising” alone, i think it was possibly the strongest of the three books. the pacing was good, nothing felt like it dragged on too long or went too fast for its own good. i think that was really important as well, considering the fact that there was always something going on. literally,, always. no one ever got a damn break.

mal’s “death” hurt me more then i had expected. which honestly leads back to one of my main gripes with this story. the love square (which i elaborate on later in this post, just hold on a bit). i’m not going to lie. i hated mal. through the middle of “siege and storm” up to page 168 of “ruin and rising” (and even then it was a long road from hate to crying over him). he was an ass, i think we can all admit that. for awhile there, i even jumped on the “fuck mal” train and had no plans to stop at any station anytime soon. for the longest time, the relationship with alina felt so fragile and forced, like the only reason it existed was because leigh had written it into existence. though, as i read on, i saw why it was so strained and saw the eventual resolution, which i will admit i was happy with. mal and alina, however annoying and troupe filled their personalities were, did develop as characters. and their relationship made some semblance of sense in the grand scheme of things. does that mean i forgive the “on-again-off-again”, “cold-shoulder”, “we-cant-be-together-in-this-lifetime” bullshit? no. does that mean i suddenly love mal? also, no. does that mean i ship them? ugh slightly. does that mean in a magical dream world where i got to chose what happened, they’d still end up together? impossible to say. BUT i can say, that they deserved each other. and i am happy that they got their peace together like they both always wanted (no matter how out of place it felt at any point), especially considering the fact that she literally had to kill him.

my dear dear darkling... i knew what fate awaited you and yet, when the time came... it hurt just the same.

okay,, that was a bit dramatic. but come on. leigh wrote a damn good villain with aleksander morozova. i meAN, thE lAYERS. he was a horrible person and yet, so many of us still love him. he killed for fun, manipulated no matter the cost, preyed upon the weak because he could, literally blinded his own mother and still! i can’t help but love him. there was so much human woven into his darkness. the moments of simple longing, of exhaustion, of loneliness. in all honesty, if there had been a way to humanize him, to erase or explain away his atrocities and have him just be aleksander again, i feel like i would do it. but, in the context of the story i do understand why it wasn’t possible. redemption for the darkling was off the table, no matter how much humanity still remained. but that’s what makes him such a good character. you want him to be different because you can see the good and all the potential for things to change, for them to rule ravka side by side, but at the same time, he’s the same man who is still actively creating more shadow demon creatures to eat whoever he wishes. you can’t resist him and that’s why he’s so wonderful, yet horrifying at the exact same time. (though don’t worry i am still a trash can and the darklina ship is still superior in the love square. again, i promise i will get there).

i feel like i have to talk about how much i loved the “secondary characters” (i struggle to call them that because they actually run this shit). i will say, at first, i hated zoya. i am not a big fan of the “mean girl” troupe or the “i’m-prettier-than-you-and-i-know-it” thing but... she really grew on me. i looked forward to zoyas comments and constant bitchiness, as did the characters in the books. and when she left the note and the blue kefta with alina in the epilogue,, oh god my heart. and the ragtag crew of grisha making up the remainder of the second army were amazing. their banter and dialogue were some of my favorite scenes to read in “ruin and rising” and i want books just filled with them and only them. david and genya deserve the damn world, adrik was so great, nadia and tamar are so precious, and i will miss harshaw’s weird ass more then you’ll ever know. don’t even get me started on misha and oncat. they are the true stars of this series, you cannot convince me otherwise. god i love them all so much, what a brilliant cast of characters. except the apparat. fuck the stupid ass apparat.

i know what you’re thinking. “you forgot nikolai.” no. i promise you, i most certainly did not. i just love him so much he gets his own chunk.

i mean, how could he not? he’s one of those rare, genuinely perfect characters that are impossible to not love. and i don’t mean perfect because he has no flaws or he’s written unnaturally, i mean perfect because of all of his flaws. he is arrogant and calculating, brash and unapologetic in his ways, but he’s also kind and caring, witty and charming and way too clever for his own good. i rooted for him more then i have ever rooted for someone in my entire life. he made everything ten times better. you can always count on his ass to pop up in a flying ship with a shiny pair of boots, a witty remark, a new plan, and too many ideas.

now, the important business... the ominous love square.

i think the words i used were “one of my main gripes with the story” which is true, but i think leads to a bigger issue with some of the characterization in the story. the “love square” was a term i thought of in relation to the many overlapping and confusing ships that center around alina (obviously being mal, the darkling, and nikolai). all of the ships were so entertwined and written over top of one another that there was no other way for me to describe it and the square seemed like a nice enough analogy. it just felt like way too much on everybody’s plates.

i love nikolai and alinas friendship. i mean, LOVED it. because i loved it so much, i found the little nods to a ship odd and unnecessary. their story line was very focused on the fact that ravka would need a king and queen, hence the scene where he gives her the emerald and all but proposes right then and there. however, that scene would have made scene and carried the same weight had there not been the splashes of romance both before and after. now, i understand why people ship them. and honestly, if under different circumstances, i probably could’ve and would’ve shipped them myself. they would have had one of the best marriages in a society where you didn’t get to marry for love. but it just made everything more complicated. people would’ve speculated on a ship had there been no kisses or pining, soley based on the possibility of a marriage and because of their close friendship so, why was the canon addition of it necessary? i just couldn’t get behind it when i loved their platonic relationship so much and when there were two stronger and more developed ships, waging war in the background.

now, my final bone to be picked... let’s be real for a second, alina in “shadow and bone” sucked. she was annoying and had no personality beyond being a sad, lonely, orphan in the darklings sparkly new grisha world. though i will say, in the later two books, i grew to like her. her character development did its job and i actually think she grew to be a pretty good protagonist. she did her best with the cards she was dealt and i think she did really well. however, her inability to pick a boy constantly bothered me. after being in love with her best friend for literal years, she is really ready to be be the first lady of the second army. and yes. sure you could justify it. she wasn’t getting letters in return, she’d been away for months, she was adapting to her new life, the darkling made her feel seen and wanted which is all a very new feeling to her. but then she goes right back to mal after he makes a confession that he didn’t realize he loved or needed her until she was gone for months (this was one of my biggest problems with mal. my problem only grew when he spent the entirety of “siege and storm” being a dick. but like i said,, we have reconcilied. we are fine now). there were times throughout the series where i genuinely didn’t understand why they were together, why i liked them together, or why i even wanted them to end the series together. alina even asks mal at the end of “ruin and rising” if there entire relationship was based solely on the fact that mal was the last amplifier and the fact that she even had to ask really says something. was their entire romance because of the amplifier? was it because of the “we-are-just-meant-to-be-together” thing? or was there actual chemistry? i really couldn’t tell sometimes. and the darklina ship was even more twisty and winding. he went from telling her deep dark secrets because he wanted to hear the girl he loved say his name to literally threatening everyone she loves because he wants her weak and all to himself. like,, whAt? (again,, layers) and don’t even get me started on the darkling and alina apparition interactions. those were a wild fucking ride. i felt like i was getting manipulated along with the both of them in those. but maybe that was the point of the darkling and alinas relationship. it was supposed to be so horrible yet so electric that you couldn’t pull away. but i doubt the same was meant to be said for mal and alina.

now i feel like i may be coming off in the wrong way. i loved more about this series then i didn’t. but me gushing about every fine detail and conversation that made my heart melt wouldn’t make for the most interesting read, if it was even coherent. all in all, i think it’s safe to say the grisha trilogy is great. does that mean it doesn’t have flaws? of course not. does that mean the flaws outweigh the good and the actual point of the story? absolutely not. my small complaints about a few things really do not take always from the fact that i love this series. i would love anything written by leigh bardugo, especially in the grishaverse.

if you’ve made it this far, that’s commitment. thank you brave soldier. don’t take anything i’ve said with anything more than a grain of salt. seriously. if this is your favorite series, don’t let my lil complaints ruin your day. because really, the good outweighs the bad here tenfold. i’m just a girl with a lot of opinions and a platform to share them at four am... it’s a dangerous game.

but, goodbye grisha trilogy. you have served me well and i will return to reread you soon. but for now i will do a lot of writing (i already have so many fic ideas brewing) and read all the fan fiction and tumblr posts i’ve been avoiding for fear of spoilers.

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starryevermore · 4 years ago

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paradise island: a review

A note before we begin: everything above the cut will be spoiler free and will just be my general feelings about the story as a whole, the writing, and if I’d recommend it. Everything below the cut will include spoilers to explain my feelings about the story.

Rating: 3/5 stars

Visiting the North Shore had been a bizarre and unsettling experience, to say the least, but when they got home after vacation was over, he was going to suggest to Colby that they make a video about it.

Hell, no. Even better. Write a book. Videos melted away after a while, but a book? Books and stories solidified on the conscious mind forever. (91-92)

Overall, I enjoyed this book. I generally enjoy stories like this, but there were a few moments throughout the novel where things just fell a bit flat.

While I was reading, I made a few notes, the first being that there was a weird juxtaposition between talking about more adult topics (drinking, women, sex, etc.) but in an odd, almost kid-friendly way. Some of the word choices were interesting, such as constant use of “fancy-pants”, “hottie”, “goofball”, “oddball”, and “doofus”, as well as the one moment where Colby said he hated “dicky” people and the moment where Sam said Colby was about to have an “emo-ruption”. (Though I did laugh a lot longer than I should have at “emo-ruption”.) It felt like they were still trying to make the story appropriate for their younger fans by using more kid-friendly language, while also appealing to their older fans by being like “look!! we drink!! and ooh look, we talked about smoking weed 👀🤪”. I wish they would’ve committed to one or the other, because it added an odd sense of disjointedness to the story that could’ve been easily resolved.

The other big thing I made note of was that there was a lot of “tell, not show” throughout. There’s a heavy focus on dialogue to progress the story rather than seeing into the boys’ inner thoughts and using other means to find out information. (I’m not one to talk, though, since I also focus more on dialogue than description.) It sometimes made it difficult to fully get into the story. I struggled with developing a picture of what the Belle Estate looked like, or what the other characters (beside SNC, Nate, and Alex) looked like. In terms of the boys, it seemed very reliant on us knowing who Sam and Colby are and what they’re all about (which is fair, since probably 99.9% of people who bought the book are fans of them but, if they want success outside of their audience, it could’ve been more descriptive in that regard).

As for the big twist at the end, it was a bit lackluster. I’ll go more in detail on this in the “spoiler section”, but it kind of diminished everything that had happened throughout the story and left me wondering “what was the point?”.

I was excited when I’d heard that the story was told through both Sam and Colby’s POVs, but, I’ll be honest, I saw little difference between Sam’s chapters than Colby’s chapters. The most difference was the almost stereotypical portrayal of Sam being the logical one while Colby being the emotional one. Aside from that, they were almost indistinguishable from me and I often had to flip back to the start of a chapter to remind myself of who’s head I was in.

Since that was all critical, here’s some things I did like:

I feel like, while the inner monologues were a bit lacking, Gaby did make up for it by making the dialogue between the boys really realistic to them. In this regard, she really nailed the portrayal of them.

The depiction of the paranormal things was really great. I feel like those parts were the ones I could get most into the story. The way Gaby wrote them was so interesting and pulled me in. I wish there was more of these moments throughout the story, because I think they really showcased who Gaby is as a writer.

The convo where Colby called Sam “Velma” and then Nate asked if Colby was “Fred”? I really enjoyed that because (a) Scooby is my favorite thing in the whole world and (b) I chose Sam and Colby be Velma and Fred in my moodboards a month ago so just a lil fun moment for me.

Just how meta the book was. Like, the quote I included at the top? I laughed for way too long when I read that.

There was a nice sense of nostalgia throughout, specifically when they brought up their YouTube channel, their Vine days, them being arrested, wining a Teen Choice Award, and Corey and the Shadowman. It made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, and reminded me of how proud I am for how far they’ve come.

*slight spoiler here* Speaking of being arrested, there was a moment where SNC were contemplating escaping to the beach and they had a conversation if it was worth being arrested again. I really loved that, especially with how much fans joke about them inevitably being arrested again.

This is more for the person who designed the cover, but holy shit?? I loved it so much??

I don’t know if I would have picked this book up if it didn’t have Sam and Colby’s name attached to it. I will say, though, I finished the book in one sitting, which is pretty rare for me nowadays, so it was engaging. I think, overall, it was a great story with a great concept but it could’ve been fleshed out more. In some ways, it almost felt like this was a draft rather than a completed novel.

That being said, for SNC’s first book and Gaby’s first time working with the boys, it exceeded my expectations. If they were to continue writing books together, I imagine it will get better and better as they get more used to each other and potentially open up more so that their characters become a more accurate depiction of them.

Overall, the book’s not something you really need to race out to get. I think, if you have a gift card or there’s some sort of deal or you need to spend a little more to get free shipping, it wouldn’t hurt to pick up Paradise Island. It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t a great, top-tier novel in my opinion. That being said, if you do pick it up, I think you will enjoy the book.

Spoiler Avenue

The characterization of all four of the boys is a bit 2D. Sam’s logical and wants to keep the peace, Colby’s emotional and more of a wildcard, Nate’s focused on his schoolwork and flexing his vocabulary, and Alex? Well, I couldn’t get a good read on Alex until he sells out SNC at the end of the novel and even then, he didn’t feel so much like his own character, more like someone just present to further the plot.

Speaking of characters, the introduction of Trey was...meh. I wish we could’ve gotten more insight on why Colby was so adamant about not liking Trey and why Nate was so gung ho to ditch their plans to go to the North side of the island for this guy they barely knew. Finding out that Colby didn’t like Trey because he said college was the only way to success was such an odd thing? Like, undoubtedly there’s been many people who would’ve said that, so does Colby also dislike everyone who’s said that or is there a more specific reason he didn’t like Trey? Just...👏🏻 more 👏🏻 inner 👏🏻 thoughts 👏🏻 please 👏🏻 and 👏🏻 thank 👏🏻 you 👏🏻

@golbrocklovely brought this up in her review but Colby’s fixation on the mermaid statue of a 16-year-old was really odd. It probably wouldn’t have been as odd if Amy was aged up a bit to 18, but as a 16-year-old with the descriptions that were given? Yeah...not the vibe.

I also wasn’t a fan of how so many things plot-wise was just...told to the boys. They could’ve found some newspaper clippings or something, anything to make them put in a little bit of detective work. But for so much information to just be handed to them? It got old, and almost lazy.

The big twist being that all of the paranormal stuff they’d encountered being a hallucination? God, that was so fucking annoying (though I did go back afterwards from the moment that they first arrived at the Belle Estate—starting as early as page 36—and it felt incredibly obvious knowing now that it was all drugs, so props to Gaby for dropping that many hints early on). To spend so much time making all of this scary shit happen just to turn around and say “HAHA JK THE BOYS WERE JUST TRIPPING BALLS” was such a cop out. It would’ve been more terrifying for it all to be real, make the boys question their beliefs and the reality of there being something out there that they didn’t quite understand. Though, there is something terrifying about not knowing you’ve been drugged and having hallucinated that vividly, but I feel like it didn’t quite fit in with the story.

Alex betraying the boys? So interesting! This was one of the few things that made sense in terms of them being drugged. But then when he was betrayed when Pauahi (who’s name was misspelled a few different times in the book) escaped? Ugh, amazing. We love instant karma like that.

Going back to the “tell not show” thing, I wish the sacrifice at the end would’ve been more detailed. For all of the paranormal stuff to be written off as a drug-induced hallucination, I would’ve loved if Gaby had leaned more into the horror of being used in a human sacrifice. There was more of a focus on Colby bargaining for his life, which is fair, but I would’ve loved to see more of the pure terror there.

That being said, the way Trey finally snapped out of it? *chef’s kiss* Loved that shit so much. And I loved the fact that Trey stayed behind in the end. It added a nice eeriness to the story that had been lacking since they debunked the paranormal shit as being hallucinations.

Again, going back to my overall, thoughts, I enjoyed the book in general. Some things could’ve been fleshed out a bit more to reach its full potential. I wish they leaned more into the paranormal aspect and had more descriptions to balance out all of the dialogue, but other than that, I did enjoy the book and don’t regret buying it.

#sam and colby #sam golbach #colby brock #snc #xplr #paradise island #starrybrock #a review

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cinna-wanroll · 5 years ago

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So earlier I decided to record my answers to a bunch of different asks because I haven’t been feeling great for the past couple of days (mentally, I don’t have corona lol), but I wanted to be productive and make sure I got all of my ideas out. Here are a few quotes from that:

1. So this is just like Talking to Myself: The Podcast, except the loser version because no one will ever hear this except for me, so I am literally just talking to myself.

2. “You can tell that I have a headache, I’m not f-f - I’m not formating- formating; is that a word? (It’s not, I looked it up lol) I’m not formating co-coherent thoughts.”

3. “This is gonna take me forever to look back over this entire video but you know, I don’t even care at this point.”

4. “I like Riyo and Ahsoka, or maybe I just really like Riyo-”

5. “So, whether you think she’s a space lesbian, or if you ship her with Rex, I think most things are cute.”

6. “I don’t really know why I don’t write this stuff down into fics- probably just because I feel like I’ve done that- gone through the effort of writing it- in my head. So it’s just kind of quote un quote written. So it’s just- I- I sometimes I wish that I could just project my thoughts into other people’s minds but unfortunately that is not- ahhh- possible as a human being, unfortunately. Yeah, it’s quite unfortunate.” (lmao I’ve very sorry, I have a bit of a stutter when I get passionate about some things so I’ll drag out certain syllables or repeat myself or whatnot.)

7. “I mean- Satine knows he’s (Obi-Wan) a flirt.”

8. “There’s sort of been like a crowd that forms around Obi-Wan and Ventress happens to be in that crowd because it’s Obi-Wan who’s just talking, and people just naturally gravitate towards Obi-Wan because yeah.”

9. “Satine sort of catches her eye from across the ballroom and kinda gives her the look, you know, like ‘You betta keep your hands off my man, don’t do it again. If I see you do it again Imma come over there.’ Which you absolutely know that Satine would be great at making that face.”

10. “I’m feeling a little bit better, but I did just make a bad decision and ate cookie dough even though I already had a sugar headache- *wheezes* I don’t really know what I’m doing. Anyways-”

11. “And be introspective- is introspective the correct terminology in this case? I don’t think so. *Looks it up* Oh yeah no, it’s not.” *facepalms*

12. “And Anakin just walks in like he owns the place, cuz, well, technically he does-” *wheezes*

13. “I feel like he would just walk over and set whatever dinner he got on the counter and say something like ‘have fun’ and then leave and Satine just never says a word about it to anybody.”

14. *continued stuttering and rambling*

15. *endless tangents*

16. *constant ma, vabbè s*

17. *ranting about Satine Kryze and how amazing she is*

18. “I’m very sorry, my thoughts are very disconnected, I don’t have a script or anything- this is the script.”

19. *Quotes entire Obitine scene*

20. *Rants about JAT and Anna*

21. *while laughing* “I mean, Obi-Wan could’ve literally been smashed to bits, uh, as he so calmly puts it.”

22. “I’m trying to think of another way to say- to use verbage that I haven’t already used.”

23. “It shows that Anakin really sort of misinterpreted- in my opinion the vibe of the Jedi. *laughs* the vibe of the Jedi.”

24. “I feel like Obi-Wan’s trying to deal with how do I not flirt with her? Because I really want to right now.”

25. “I’m gonna go ahead and I’m gonna quote Snark Wars here-”

26. “Which is another reason why I think they’re such a great couple” *laughs*

27. “And shes like ‘ugh, I don’t have an appetite anymore, I can’t eat, all I can think of is him. *sigh* dreamy’”

28. “And she was doing a little bit of introspection *savvy teacher voice* - I am now using that term correctly-”

29. “I mean- *wheezing* he did call her hysterical and foolhardy *laughs and facepalms* what? This man- I swear. He’s like ‘in this state of mind’. Why would she not get offended by someone saying, like- ‘oh, you’re not being logical. you’re not thinking things out.’ That’s a little offensive, if I’m gonna be honest. Like, you’re not gonna respond positively to that.*laughs*”

30. *bad Satine Kryze impressions*

#satine kryze #obitine #prep #obi wan kenobi #ventress #asajj ventress #anakin skywalker

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harry-styles-sunflower · 4 years ago

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Wandering Hands Part 4

Hellooo everyone! I hope you are all having a lovely day! SO this is Part 4 of Wandering Hands.

What it is: You and Harry become friends but you come with certain baggage that might make any other man run.

Word count: 7.5k (longest part i’ve ever written ahh)

Warning: Cursing and smut (lmk if I forgot one!)

This part is ~juicy~ ALSO! New character alert, if you want to picture somebody, i picture zach roerig

Pls reblog if you like it :) Thanks in advance for the support! Feedback is always helpful, I love hearing from you all!

♡♡♡

“Yes and no, I mean I still have to get to know you more Harry. Trust doesn't come overnight, it takes time.” You sigh

“You act like we haven't spoken all day and night for the past two months.” His tone has changed to agitated.

“Okay, we have but still. I don't want you meeting Sam for a while.” You tried to get him to understand now with remaining calm.

“Why not though?” He pushed.

“Harry stop questioning me it's my decision,” you raise your voice a little. You were growing agitated now.

“You act like I'm a horrible person or like I'm not worthy of meeting him. You sit there and scoff at me while I try to have some fucking interest in your life” he remarked at you. Him cursing towards you pushed all buttons for you.

“Damn it harry how the fuck am I supposed to know you'll stick around? How do I know that if I introduce you two now that you wont just leave and he'll have to overcome a second heartbreak of getting over another man in his life?” you said a bit louder. He looks at you and slowly realizing the whole situation. He stays quiet for a bit and looks down.

“I'm sorry you're right. I understand. I shouldn’t have pushed it,” You sigh and he walks over to you and hugs you.

“Ive never done this before Harry, I wanna do it right,” you lay your head against his chest and wrap your arms around his waist.

“I know love, I know. I just got excited. I like you a lot so meeting someone else like you got me excited,” he squeezed you.

“Thank you. I appreciate that. And don’t curse at me in anger, I don't do relationships like that,” you stated. You didn’t, not even with Michael, you never cursed towards each other. Maybe about other people but never about each other.

“Sorry wasn’t very gentleman of me,” he kissed your head.

“I forgive you. If we want to do this we have to communicate well, and calm. Im sorry for scoffing at you. It was rude, and you didn’t deserve it. I could’ve came out differently,” you looked up at him.

“Thank you and you're right. Communication is key. But uh, does this mean you've been thinking of breaking up, like since you said the whole thing about what if I don’t stay..”

“No Harry, but I have to take precaution. It’s not that I’m coming into this relationship expecting it to end but my guard is up a bit. Trust and time will help bring it down.”

“Okay,” he lifted a finger underneath your chin and gave you a soft kiss, “I don’t intend on leaving you know.” He said against your lips.

“I know,” you pressed your lips against his. He pushed your lips more against his by holding your head in place.

“Our breakfast has gotten all cold, want to go out and grab something from the bakery down the road?” He kisses your forehead. He somehow always gave you instant relief with his kisses.

“That sounds amazing,” you get your shoes on and were out the door. Harry lent you a hoodie, your cardigan from last night wasn't going to cut it in this weather. You weren’t going to give him this back. You two walked out his house together, hand in hand.

“What’s Sam’s favorite snack?” He asks as you walk.

“Week before last it was cosmo brownies, last week it was Rice Krispie treats, I don’t know what this week will be,” you laughed, “he has my taste buds.”

“I’ll be taking note,” he kissed your hand.

“Are you and Gemma close? I figure since you had makeup wipes in your bathroom she was here recently?”

“Yeah like two months before we met she had visited, she’s one of my best friends. We text everyday,” he looked around the street. It wasn’t very busy. Just a few people walking their dogs.

“That’s nice, I hope Sam can have that one day. If not with a sister a best friend you know?” He nodded. Maybe you shouldn’t have brought up kids so early in the morning. You two walked into the bakery and it smelled like flour and chocolate. It was a cute small mom and pop shop. You were looking at their options on their small paper menu when you heard your name.

"y/n?" you've heard this voice before. Probably haven't heard it in two years.

"Matt?" you turned towards him. Harry turned towards you two. He had blonde hair and was tall, around Harry's height. Blue eyes and crooked smile. He was Michael's best friend. He took care of you for a bit after Michael died. 'A bit' being three years, then they sent him overseas again. You two instantly hugged. He still smelled the same. He was still tan so he must've just gotten back.

"It's been so long," you wiped a few tears that had escaped. You were so happy he made it back home.

"I know, we have to catch up, how's Sam? He must be huge!" he said with a wide smile.

"He is! You left him when he was at my hip and now he's almost at my ribs. He's going to be tall. We have to catch up though, maybe tomorrow. After school?" you asked.

"Yeah! I can do that," he smiled at you.

"When'd you get back?" Harry was the jealous type that was in extreme denial of being the jealous type. So he stood there uncomfortably as you spoke to your friend. Too close of a friend for him. He watched the way Matt looked at you and he didn't like it. He also didn't like the way he hugged you. So he coughed. You turned around and grabbed his hand. "Wait, Matt. This is Harry, Harry this is Matt. He was Michael's best friend." you explained.

"Nice to meet you man," he shook Harry's hand before answering your question, "I just got back two days ago, was going to text you today or tomorrow actually."

"I'm happy you're home," you said knowing he knew what you meant. He knew you meant you were happy he didn't have the same fate as Michael.

"Me too," he looked over at Harry and gave you a questioning look.

"So Matt, Harry is my boyfriend," you smiled up at him, and Harry looked down at you smiling. It was still a little weird for you to say. You weren't used to it yet. Matt nodded as you spoke.

"That's great y/n, I'm really happy for you. You deserve it," he said genuinely. You smiled at him.

"She's a keeper man, she was great wife, even better mother." Harry squeezed you closer to him.

"Yeah mate, I don't intend on letting her go,"

"Oh shit, you're British, that's pretty fucking cool." he laughed. Harry nodded and you rubbed his back.

"The accent is just about the only cool thing," they both laughed.

"Alright well I have to go, I'll text you later y/n, nice meeting you Harry," he hugged you and kissed your head and shook hands with Harry. Harry who was trying very hard to contain himself. After this morning he didn't want to push you away even more. Matt left and you decided on what you were going to get.

"I think I'm going to get a cream cheese bagel and a croissant on the side, oh and tea. We didn't finish ours" you told Harry.

"Me too," he ordered for you two and you sat at a small table waiting.

"He was nice," Harry spoke up first.

"Yeah he is, him and Michael were practically brothers. They both never had siblings. I consider him like my brother in law, he took care of Sam and I for like three years after Michael passed. They needed him though and I was a lot better than I was in the beginning so I told him to go and he left," he listened to you as you spoke.

"How long have you known him, like since you were 15 too?" he looked outside the window.

"Nah, I met him after Michael got back from training, so like for 11 years now?" he nodded.

"Does he have a wife too?" he asked right before they brought our food out.

"No, I set him up with someone I met while I was in school, college, and they were together for a bit, but um she saw what happened to Michael and said she wouldn't be able to handle if that happened to Matt so they broke up." you took a bite of your bagel.

"That kind of stinks, finding someone, loving them, and then them leaving you because they think you'll have a similar fate as your friend," he sipped his tea.

"Yeah, I understand both sides. She's missing out on a great man now because its been five years and he's still alive," you sipped your tea.

"So you plan on hanging out with him tomorrow?" he wipes his mouth of cream cheese with a napkin.

"Yeah probably, Sam's going to be so happy. He calls him Uncle Matt," you smiled, "does that bother you? That I'm going to hang out with him?" you asked.

"Oh no love it's okay, I understand." he really wished you wouldn't. He wished he could hang out with you and Sam instead.

"Thank you for understanding," you reached over and grabbed his hand and squeezed it.

"What time do you have to be home by?" he asked.

"Ugh, sounds like I have a curfew," you laughed, "But usually they drop him off around noon so I have to go soon," you pouted.

"Wish you didn't have to," he said honestly. You agreed. You two had finished your breakfast and you walked back to his house. You had about an hour left to be with him before you had to go. You walked in hand in hand and when he closed his door you pulled him close to you and leaned up to kiss him. He kissed you back with need and leaned you up against his wall.

"Want you," you breathed into the kiss.

"Need you," he responded. He leaned his head down and kissed your neck. He was becoming addicting. You pressed your hips against his and he groaned.

"Harry," you moaned.

"Yes love?" he bit under your earlobe.

"Let me do what I wanted to do last night," you reached down in between you two and grabbed his length.

"Don't tell me twice," he grinned before placing his mouth on yours again. He led you back to his room without taking his mouth off yours. He fell back against his bed and you climbed on top of him. You grabbed his hands and intertwined your fingers. You brought them above his head and kissed at his neck. He was loving this. You kissed down his neck to his chest. You put your hands under his shirt and rubbed near his butterfly. He hissed because your hands were a bit cold from outside. You lift his shirt up slightly and kissed around his butterfly and down to his ferns. You tugged his gray sweats down and kissed at the waistband of his boxers. You rubbed him through the thin material before pulling it down. He propped himself up on his elbows to watch you. You loved pleasuring others, it wasn't something you fell short in. You released him from his boxers and he sighed. You began pumping him slowly and licked his tip placing him flat against your tongue. You licked up and down his shaft a few times before taking him slowly into your mouth. Your gag reflux was minimal he'd soon find out. Your left hand rubbed his balls while your right pumped him slowly. You spit lightly on the tip causing him to moan at the view in front of him. You slowly deepthroated him earning a louder groan and he put his hands in your hair gathering it in a fist.

"Fuck, y/n. Do that again," You lifted your mouth off of him, a line of spit forming as you pulled away and took all of him again," his hips jerked and you moaned. You sucked his balls and pumped his length fast as you did.

"Y/n, I'm close," you put your mouth back on him immediately, wanting him to release in your mouth. You looked up at him fluttering your lashes as you took him full again. You felt his cum hit the back of your throat and you swallowed. You didn’t stop sucking until you were sure there was no more cum left. He ended up pulling your head off mumbling 'too much' before pulling you into a heated kiss. He flipped you so you were under him.

"Harry, we can't," you whined.

"Ugh," he groaned, "I want to make you feel just as good," he reached down and rubbed in between your legs. You moaned and grabbed his wrist.

"I want that too but I have to go," you kissed him. He kissed you back and put his hand on your cheek.

"When will I see you again?" you hadn't thought of it. Sam only went to his grandparents every other weekend. Two weekends was too long without him. You bit your lip and looked away.

"I'm not sure," you felt bad not being able to give him an answer. His hand on your cheek gently turned your head to face him again.

"I wasn't lying when I said I'd wait for you," he kissed your nose. You closed your eyes savoring the moment and trying to keep your emotions in check. How had you found such an angel?

"I'll try and plan something for this week," you whispered before kissing him lightly.

"Okay," he whispered back.

You two got up, Harry getting dressed again as you fixed your hair. You watched him, photographing every movement into your memory. He walked you to your car and closed the door as you got in. You opened your window and he leaned inside. He put a finger under your chin giving you a lingering kiss making you want more. But you had to go. You said bye and drove home. You did some laundry before your doorbell rang signifying your son was home. You sped walk to the door excited to see your boy. You open the door and he attacks your waist.

“Hi baby,” you squat down and kiss his head. He was such a sweet and affectionate boy. You savored every moment.

“Hi ma,” he kissed your cheek before hugging you. He whispered in your ear, “grandma wants to talk, I’m sorry,” before kissing your cheek again and running inside. You had a confused look on your face as you watched him run off.

“Y/n,” Lydia spoke.

“Lydia?” You questioned.

“I know about Harry,” you were shocked, “Sam told us at dinner, he was excited.” You swallowed. You never wanted to tell Sam to keep secrets so you couldn’t be mad about this.

“He um, okay. Um we just, Sam’s not meeting him for a bit. Not until I think it’s time.” You spoke.

“Are you two a couple?” You couldn’t tell what her tone was. Condescending? Approving? Genuinely curious?

“Uh yeah, officially so. This past weekend.” You were so uncomfortable.

“I’d like to meet him, he knows about Sam right?” She looked at you with a raised brow.

“Yes of course he knows about Sam. I wouldn't keep Sam a secret. And you’ll meet him when I feel it’s time too.” You hated how you felt like you were co-parenting with her. You were his only parent.

“Okay well,” she looked around, “I’m happy for you y/n, it’s about time. Maybe not move on and forget, but move on and still remember you know?” She purposely didn’t look at you.

“I uh yeah, I obviously won’t forget him. How could I? He was my husband. But I do think I deserve to not die alone, have another love.” You swallowed. Why was this so weird? And why was Lydia being so nice?

“I agree. Well have a good night,” she said before walking away.

“You too,” you said lowly.

You closed the door and leaned against it. Sam.

“Sam?” You called.

“I’m sorry Mami,” he looked down with a guilty look on your face.

“Don’t be sorry baby,” you walked towards him, you lifted his chin up and smiled at him, “I’ve never taught you to keep secrets, so I’m proud you didn’t.” You kissed his head.

“Grandma and grandpa didn’t look mad when I told them, and I also said he was just your friend!” He explained. You loved his enthusiasm and the way he spoke with his hands.

“They couldn’t be mad, it’s my life. I think grandma is actually happy I’ve got a friend,” you told him. You weren’t going to spur the term boyfriend on him just yet. You were sure Harry would be okay with it too.

“She’s getting a lot nicer ma,” he said with a confused look on his face. You both shrugged and laughed. You two cuddled on the couch for the majority of the rest of the day. You watched Inside Out and taught Sam a few ways to express himself. He said he felt like joy that day with a little bit of fear because he didn't know how you would react about him spilling the beans about Harry. You cleared his worries before sending him to shower before dinner. You checked your phone to see Harry had texted you.

H: Hey beautiful, how are you?

Y/n: Hi handsome, I'm good. Just cooking some dinner.

H: I'm jealous, I had Chinese. I'm reading a manuscript now.

y/n: Perhaps you should focus on that and not use me to procrastinate?

H: You already know me so well.

y/n: 😘😘😘

You cooked spaghetti, one of Sam's favorites. Pasta always made him extra sleepy so it was the perfect meal for a Sunday night before school. Your mind kept wandering off as you cooked to Harry's dimpled smile making you smile yourself. Once Sam was out the shower you two talked about what the week ahead would look like.

"Sam, you remember Uncle Matt?" you asked as you served him. He twirled the spaghetti with his fork before nodding vigorously.

"Yes of course!" he said before stuffing his face. You laughed and handed him a napkin.

"Um he might hang out with us tomorrow, after school. I have to text him," you sat next to him with a plate for yourself.

"He's back?!" he exclaimed.

"Yes," you smiled. You know he loved him a lot.

"I can't wait to see him," he said before taking another bite. You two soon finished your plates and you let him watch some Disney before bed while you cleaned up the kitchen. You sent him off to bed once you finished and got his lunch ready for the next day. Your phone rang and you saw it was Harry.

"Hello?" you said.

"Hey love, Sam asleep yet?" he asked.

"Um, yeah why?" you put his backpack on one of the chairs and looked around you. It was like he was watching you. You heard a knock on the door.

"Harry, hold on someone's knocking. Has to be Lydia or something. Only she knows the code to open the door," you open the door surprised to see Harry.

"Hi," he blushed, "Uh someone let me in. I just thought I'd bring you something. Partly because I missed you and just wanted to see you again," he passed you a black plastic bag. Inside was a Rice Krispie Treat and 'Sam' written on it with black marker and Pringles with your name on it. You once told him you liked Pringles on one of your long facetime calls.

"Harry," you were speechless, it was so sweet what he had done.

"I probably shouldn't have come, this is an invasion of your privacy I'm sorry," he backed away.

"No no, its fine I'm just shocked. I never expected something like this. Come here," you put your hand on the back of his neck and pulled him in for a kiss. He kissed you back hard and wrapped his arm around your waist. "I'm so happy, and thankful, and lucky," you spoke in between kisses. He smiled down at you and kissed your forehead. You stepped back and put the bag on the side table near your entrance.

"I'd invite you in bu-" you observed his face go pale and eyes widen. He was looking behind you. You turned around and saw Sam standing there with wide eyes.

"Sam, what's wrong?" you ran to him and bent down to his level. He looked funny,

"I got sick ma," he said still staring at Harry in the hallway. You looked behind you at Harry and then back to Sam. He whispered in your ear, "I threw up in the toilet," you nodded.

"Okay, sit on the couch okay? I'll be there in a sec okay?" he nodded but didn't move.

"Hi Harry," he spoke. This isn't what you wanted or expected.

"Erm Hi Sam," he waved. Sam waved back before leaving to sit on the couch. You walked to your door, speechless.

"Love, I'm so sorry I know this isn't what you wanted. I didn't mean for this to happen," he rambled.

"It's okay, um come in? Might as well rip the bandaid off," you walked in and got a thermometer to take Sam's temperature. Harry walked behind you but stayed a comfortable distance away. Sam couldn’t take his eyes off him. You took Sam's temperature and he had a slight fever.

"I'm Sam,"

"I'm Harry,"

"We knew that about each other already," Sam giggled.

"We did," Harry giggled too. You were holding back a cringe as you watched them.

"He got you a rice krispie treat, say thank you," you whispered to him.

"Ooh thank you," his eyes lit up.

"Yeah no problem," he leaned against your wall.

"You're so far, sit next to me." Sam patted the seat next to him. Harry looked at you and you gave him a slight nod. He sat next to him and they stared at each other for a bit.

“You have drawings on your arms, marker?” Sam pointed out.

“Honey, wouldn’t you feel better in your own room?” You tried to steer away from the tattoo topic considering Harry had a half naked mermaid on his arm. Sam laughed at what you said like it was ridiculous.

“Ma, I won’t sleep now knowing Harry is here and I want to sleep in your bed tonight,” he pouted. You couldn’t help but smile.

“Okay fine. Only because you’re not feeling well. I’m gonna go get you medicine.” You got up.

“Harry stay with me,” you son put his tiny hand over his, “cool rings!” Was the last thing you heard before entering your kitchen. You called out of work and set an appointment with his doctor for the following day. When you came back to the living room him and Harry were playing rock, scissors, and shoot.

“Ma, look at this new game Harry taught me!” Harry gave you a dimpled smile before showing you.

“Very nice,” you observed, “here c’mon. Take your medicine, it’ll bring your fever down,” you served him on a teaspoon and he took it. He made a funny face before swallowing it.

“Medicine is so gross. Makes you want to throw up again,” you and Harry both laughed.

You sat on the other side of Sam and he quickly curled up to your side. You put the blanket over him and you and put your tv on. Harry observed you two and watched tv with you. Sam soon fell asleep again as you felt him drool onto your shirt.

“I’m going to go put him in my room,” you slowly stood up to not wake him.

“Let me help?” Harry asked. You nodded and he picked Sam up gently before following you into your room. You turned a lamp on so you two could see where you were walking. Harry gently put him on the middle of your bed and tucked him in. You climbed in on your side and pushed Sam’s hair back off his forehead. You gestured for Harry sit on the other side.

“If you want, you don’t have to,” you told him. He shook his head and climbed in on the other side.

“Thank you,” he said looking at you.

“For?” You questioned.

“Letting me get to know him. I know it wasn’t your plan for us to meet this way but thanks for not closing the door in my face.” He reached over Sam to put a loose strand of hair behind your ear. You look down back at Sam.

“Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans,” you smiled. You hadn’t planned for them to meet like this but life happens.

“Beautiful boy,” he states.

“You know it?” You smirked.

“Course I know it, what kind of Brit would I be if I didn’t know a Lennon song?” He laughed lowly.

“Michael would sing it to him to put him to sleep. After he passed I just changed 'daddy' lyric to Mami,” you explained.

“My mum used to do the same thing,” he smiled at the memory.

“Her and I can relate on being boy moms then,” you smiled.

“I don’t think I want her to talk about me to you,” he grinned.

“Oh no, I want to hear it all,” you leaned against your hand. You two were facing each other with your son between you two.

“He’s a good kid, very social. He started asking me about my rings and where I got them,” he smiled.

“He’s nosey,” you lightly tapped Sam’s nose earning a smile from him in his sleep. Harry laughed and shrugged his shoulders.

“I didn’t mind it,” he plays with a loose thread on your blanket.

You three eventually all fell asleep in a big cuddle. When you wake up you feel Sam's small head on your stomach, Harry's forehead against yours, and all of your legs tangled together. You opened your eyes slowly and smiled. You felt like a family, finally complete.

"Mornin'," you heard Harry's deep voice say.

"Hey," you looked at him pulling your forehead away. He leaned over and gave you a quick peck.

"Sorry I fell asleep here," he says before placing his head back against the pillow.

"It's okay, I enjoy seeing your face first thing in the morning," you smiled.

"I like this a lot to be honest with you," he looked between you and Sam.

"I do too," you bit your lip. So much had happened between you two in just a few days. Sam stirred between you two.

"Could I cook you two breakfast?" he offered. You nodded and ran your hands through Sam's hair. He was warm again.

"What's his favorite?"

"Waffles," you smiled.

"Could I use your bathroom?"

"Of course, spare toothbrush in the hallway closet." you told him. He nodded and walked to your bathroom.

You escaped to your thoughts of how you could get used to this.

♡♡♡

Breakfast was a success. Harry and Sam got along well and you were happy. Harry left to go to work before you went to Sam's doctor. Doctor's appointment was unsuccessful. "Probably just a bug," they said. Matt had texted you and you explained what was going on with Sam. He assured you he didn’t mind and he'd bring you some food and some light food for Sam. When he showed up at your door, he had soup for Sam and chowder for you. You all shared a meal together and watched a movie. This was something similar to what you guys did years ago. It was close to night and Sam had went off to bed before Matt left. You took out two beers for you to share and sat next to him.

"Cheers," he clinked your bottle.

"Cheers," you took a sip.

"It's good to be home," he sighed relaxing back onto your couch.

"It's good to have you home," you leaned against your cushions.

"I don't think I'm going back," you looked over at him.

"What? What do you mean?" you were a little shocked.

"My active duty commitment is up, I could take another mission if I wanted to but I think its time for me to settle down," he took a swig of his beer. You nodded in understanding.

"I think that'd be great, if it were for me I wouldn't want anyone out there," you faced him on the couch.

"Yeah," he brought his arm that was behind his head and slapped it down to your knee, "So! Tell me more about this Harry guy," he grinned looking at you.

"Ow," you hit him back, "And what do you wanna know?" you blushed.

"Everything?" he said in a girly voice making you laugh.

"Well, we met at the bar across the street and we basically spoke every night then every day and night and yeah we just got to know each other well. And yeah you know it's been nice. To have someone again," you took another sup of your beer. Matt nodded in understanding.

"I'm happy you're happy, I know he would've wanted that." he reached for your hand and squeezed it.

"Yeah I know, we spoke about it once..." you wandered off.

"Us too," Matt looked up towards the ceiling.

"I figured you made some kind of promise, the way you treated me after he passed. It was very promise like."

"I would've done it, promise or no promise." he looks back at you.

"I know, thank you. Could never say that enough."

"You don’t have to," he squeezed your hand again. You laid your head on his shoulder. You were so happy to have Matt in your life. It was like another piece of having Michael around. You didn't have a brother either. So he fit perfectly into your life.

"I miss him," matt spoke up.

"Me too," a tear escaped.

"I can hear him laughing at us, saying 'you two are pathetic'," he laughed, "But then you'd probably give him a look and he'd say, 'oh not you, just matt," you laughed along and finished off your beer.

"You're right," you bit your lip, "Harry's somehow helped me say his name more comfortably,"

"I've noticed, that's great." he smiled.

You spent the rest of the night catching up and setting up a profile for Matt on Bumble. He was embarrassed at first but then became excited. He liked that girls had to match first, he didn't want to make any girls uncomfortable. He left and you caught some sleep before your day of work, it was going to be long.

♡♡♡

ONE MONTH LATER

It was Saturday morning and you awoke with Harry leaving your bed. He was staying over more often per Sam's request. He enjoyed waking up and jumping into your bed and telling you his crazy dreams or hearing the dreams you two had. You enjoyed not falling asleep alone anymore. This morning though you awoke to Harry leaving because he liked to take a run and then make breakfast or pick some up on his way back. You opened your eyes slightly and you saw him moving around in front of your dresser. He put a headband on to push his curls back and put his sweatshirt on. He was wearing tights underneath some basketball shorts as well.

"Cute," you giggled. He turned around quickly and smiled.

"Morning love," he walked over to your side of the bed and kissed your lips.

"Mmm, don't go," you pouted.

"Okay," he kissed you again.

"No I'm joking, I'd feel guilty if I held you back," you giggled as you twirled a curl of his around your finger.

"I'll be quick, promise," he pecked your lips and stood up.

"Please keep your music low, be safe please." he walked back over and slotted a kiss on your lips.

"Of course baby," he said before he walked out your bedroom door. You stayed in bed until he got back. You usually never fall back asleep as you worried for him. He'd only go on a run every other day. When he got back you were on your phone scrolling through social media. Harry had posted a picture of you two last night. He already had a highlight called "Sam doing cool stuff" and it was adorable. He came over and gave you a quick peck before hopping in the shower quickly. He dropped off his phone on your night table as he kissed you and left it there. You noticed he was getting a lot of notifications back to back. You didn’t want to be nosey but you two also established you had nothing to hide from each other. You checked his phone and noticed they were all notifications from the Zillow app. They were all price drops on houses. Harry came back into your room as you looked at his phone. You tried to toss it away from you before he noticed but it was too late.

"Everything okay love?" he said with a wide grin on his face. He was only wearing a towel around his waist.

"Uh um are you moving?" you mumbled.

"No? why?" he looked confused.

"You got a lot of notifications so I just checked and it was price drops on Zillow,"

"Oh, uh yeah. Um," he sat next to you on your bed, "I was just looking at the market because uh like for us."

"For us?"

"Yeah, I would like us to move in together eventually. I've just been looking at houses for like 4 rooms and backyard and stuff," he was blushing and fiddling with his fingers.

"That's so sweet," you smashed your lips onto his. He fell on top of you on your bed.

"I want to wake up to you," he brushed his lips against yours. You felt heat spread in between your legs as he worked his way down your neck. You felt him grow hard through his towel.

"Harry," you moaned in his ear.

"You up for it?" he looked at you and you nodded quickly. He lifted your shirt and sucked your nipples giving both equal attention. He reached a hand down in between your legs into your shorts. He groaned into your mouth,

"So wet, so good for me," he said before biting your bottom lip. Your eyes fluttered closed as he inserted a finger into you. Then you remembered.

"Fuck, Harry," you whined. He didn’t pay you mind thinking it was a satisfied moan. You pushed at his chest.

"What happened?" he looked at you with concerned eyes.

"I ran out of condoms and haven't gone to get any, do you have?"

"Ugh no," he put his head in the crook of your neck.

"Ugh, damn it," you bit your lip.

"Don't do that," he took his thumb and separated your teeth from your lip, "It's only going to turn me on more," you laughed lightly.

"Harry, how um are you good at you know? Like um-"

"Pulling out?" he cut you off.

"Yeah,"

"Yeah, pretty good" he smirked.

"You want to?"

"You do?" he said a little more shocked.

"I want you so bad," you said before planting your lips on his. He climbed back on top of you and pulled your shorts and underwear down. He rubbed a finger between your slit and you bucked your hips against his finger. He took this as a sign of your impatience growing. He removed his hand and instead lined himself up at your entrance. He pushed inside of you slowly both of you moaning in each others mouths.

"Fuck, ugh you're so warm and tight," he kissed you. His eyebrows furrowed as he tried to concentrate on not cumming so soon.

"I love feeling you against me," you pushed his hips closer against you. When he bottomed out you both moaned lowly. He thrusted in and out of you slowly but eventually he picked up his pace. He groaned as his thrusts became sloppier.

"Love, you almost there?" he put his hand behind your neck before kissing you roughly. Barely letting you answer.

"Yes," you breathed out. He reached down in between you two and rubbed your clit. You felt the tightness grow in your stomach and you tightened around him as you came. Your legs were wrapped around his hips so he roughly pulled your legs apart before spilling himself all over your slit.

"Fucking hell," he moaned, "that was too good." he kissed your lips and then your neck.

"I'm on a high excuse me," you grinned. He smirked and got off you. He picked up his towel he had previously wrapped around himself and wiped in between your legs. This wouldn't be the last time he would do this over the next few weeks.

"Thank you," you blushed.

"Yeah of course," when he finished he got you dressed and himself. Sam was bound to wake up soon. "I'm going to go make some breakfast, any requests?"

"Hm, I'm craving a tuna sandwich," he scrunched his nose but nodded and went to make you your food. ♡♡♡

It was a few weeks later and you were sick. Sam was in school and Harry had taken his work to your place to take care of you. You were laying in bed while he was reading a manuscript. You had a terrible bug that wouldn’t let you hold any food down. You had never felt this way before. Harry continued making you soups and stews even though your appetite was low. You were surviving on ginger ale and saltines for most of your days. You watched as Harry worked and the way he concentrated on what he was reading.

"Any good?" he jumped slightly.

"Hey you're up," he pushed your hair away from your face.

"Hi," you smiled, "I have to get Sam,"

"I was going to pick him up,"

"It's okay, I need fresh air."

"We can both go?"

"Okay," he reached over your bedside table and got you your Gatorade bottle.

"Drink, you look dehydrated."

"Okay, dad." you narrowed your eyes at him and sipped.

"I'm just taking care of my baby,"

"I know,"

You two eventually got up to go pick up Sam. You told Harry to drop you off at the drug store at the corner of your street afterwards to pick up some pads. But you lied. You were late and scared. You never had morning sickness before but now you couldn’t help but think it. You bought a small test, one where you had to pee in a cup and use a dropper. It was the only thing that would fit in your back pocket. You got back in the car and Harry gave you a look.

"Um, they didn’t have the ones I like,"

"I'll go to Walgreens later and pick some up," you nodded as he drove you all home. Sam told you about his day at school. You told Harry you were going to use the bathroom once you got inside to your apartment. You assured him you were okay and he told you he'd make a snack for Sam while helping him with his homework. You headed inside your bathroom and realized you forgot a cup. You reached into the cabinet below your sink and got a disposable dixie cup you usually use for mouthwash. You peed in the cup and got the dropper. You placed a drop on the test and waited three minutes before looking. You were sitting on the toilet lid when Harry knocked on your door.

"Love, you okay?"

"Yeah! Coming out now!" you washed your hands and wrapped the test in toilet paper before looking at it, shoved into your back pocket, and stepped out.

You enjoyed your night with them. Forcing yourself to eat and try and feel better. You tried to keep a mind over matter mindset. You read Sam a book before bed and squeeze him tight before finding out if everything is going to change. You walk back to your room and Harry's already getting ready for a shower. He walks over to you and wraps his arms around your waist.

"Feeling better baby?" he kissed your nose.

"A little, um stomach is funny," he nodded as he listened. He moved his hands down to your ass but you pulled away suddenly before he could feel the test in your pocket.

"Love?" he looked at you confused,

"Uh sorry, just not in that mood," you ran your fingers through your hair.

"I wasn't expecting you to be, just wanted to give it a little squeeze. But I'm sorry love, I know you're not feeling well," he kissed your head.

"Yeah it's okay uh sorry I pulled away like that," he nodded.

"I think I'm gonna go shower alright?" you nodded. He left and you pulled the test out and unwrapped the toilet paper. Your door opened back up and you jumped.

"Forgot my towe- what's that?" he looked at you confused.

"Crap," you put your head in your hand. "I thought this bug could be morning sickness or something. I've never had it but I'm also late."

"W-what? What's it say?"

"I-I don't know yet. I haven't looked."

"Why not?" he was pale and his forehead was already glistening with sweat.

"I'm scared," you choked out.

"Love," he rushed to you and kneeled in between your legs, "I'm not going anywhere no matter what that test says. I love you, you know that. You and Sam are my family now. I don't care that we haven't been together that long. I already know I want this for a long time." he picked your head up in between your hands. You mumbled an okay. You began unwrapping the paper and you both looked at it at the same time.

"Look for two lines?"

"Yeah, that'd be positive" you revealed the test and took a deep breath. One line was dark and the other was not. You couldn’t tell if you were relieved or disappointed. You tossed it on to your bedside table and sighed.

"I still meant everything I said," Harry spoke.

"I feel the same way Har, I just have a lot of feelings and thoughts going through my mind. Could I have a second?" he nodded and left to the bathroom to take his shower. You felt weird. Like you wanted a positive test but also like you couldn't accept one. Everything felt so fast. Being pregnant felt so far from now, yet it also felt crazy to start all over again. Harry came back to find you with your arm across your eyes while you leaned against your pillows. He walked over to your bedside table to turn your lamp off but when he saw the test again he froze.

"L-love, love!" you jumped at his raised voice.

"What Harry?" you asked worried.

"The test! It changed! There's two lines now!" he grabbed it and looked at it.

"That's impossible," you stood up to look at it with him. Sure enough there were two lines. The other faint yet there.

"I'm so confused," you breathed.

"I'm going to Walgreens to get a digital one I can't not be certain for tonight." he kissed you before he left and yelled an I love you before walking out the door. He seemed excited with hints of anxiety. You didn’t know what to feel. You two had been together for only a few months, still learning about each other. You paced the floor back and forth until he got back.

"Love?" he called from the hallway before entering your room, "I got this Clearblue one, I see a lot of celebrities use them,"

"Oh okay," you took the box in your hand.

"Hey, what'd you feel after we saw the negative test?" he reached for your hand and squeezed it.

"I don't know honestly, it's scary to start all over again. We're just starting ourselves," you looked down.

"I understand, I'm going to be here though, no matter what," he pulled you in for a hug, "I'd like to be happy about it if its positive."

"Me too," you whispered.

"Feel like peeing?" he laughed lightly.

"Sure," you laughed too.

You walked to your bathroom and Harry followed. You sat down and waited a bit until you were able to take the test. Harry helped you with putting the cap on and you finished taking care of yourself.

"I can only imagine what everyone's going to say," you run a hand through your hair.

"Love, it shouldn't matter. We are the only one's who thoughts should matter." he cupped your cheeks, "Oh and Sam of course," he quickly added. You giggled and nodded.

"You're cute," you kissed his lips.

"Thank you, let's check it?"

"Yeah," you smiled.

♡♡♡

What do you guys think it is??

#Harry Styles #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fic #harry styles one shot #harry styles writing #one direction #harry x y/n #wanderinghands #WH #pls reblog #lmk what yall think

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threeletterslife · 4 years ago

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Chana! What are some stories that have stayed with you through the years, and writing that has impacted your own?

ooh nice question! i wasn’t sure if you meant some of mY stories or others’ stories, so i’ll answer it both ways! (this post is crazily long i’m so so sorry)

some of my own stories that have stayed with me through the years: you & me both, over the moon and insurrection/the exam

y&mb was the first full-on angst story i’ve ever published. (before publishing that, i was actually known for being a fluff writer 🤡 i know, crazy, right??) but y&mb sits in a very special place in my heart. when i was writing it, i was happy with where my life was going (i’d finally gotten out of the slumps) and the topics showcased in the story actually really hit close to home so i was also seriously invested in the characters too. overall, it was my best work for a while. but looking back, i feel like i could’ve written it so much better. it was only like what? less than a year ago? but idk i love it but hate it at the same time. the kind of thing where i laugh and cry at the memories from it, but also would HATE to read it again. still, the plot of y&mb was something i developed for YEARS before i even attempted to write it, so yes, it did stay with me through the years. and i know for a fact it’ll stay with me for longer in the future

otm is an interesting one. i finished the series this year i think (which sounds so crazy,, it feels so long ago). but the plot i planned for years! i always save my *special* plots until i think i’m capable of writing them. i still think i should’ve waited a lil longer when i wrote otm because i’m not 100% sure that was my best work ever. but otm just makes me reflect back on the crazy times. like the characters in the story, i also felt so confused and unsure and NUMB when i was writing otm—mostly because the pandemic had just gotten serious in my country and things had started to become like a mf SHITSHOW :(( i connect so much with the characters in otm... (i mean, who doesn’t love an intj mc qUEEN??) so yeah. i also LOVE oc and yoongi��s relationship in otm. their romance is actually something i want with my future s.o. LOL (something subtle, something steadfast and most importantly—STEADY). i wish i could rewrite it now fsjfjj but that goes for all of my stories

insurrection/the exam kinda go together. i’ve had the idea for insurrection the longest out of ALL of these stories lol. i think i mentioned it before but i always felt so intrigued by a ‘school revolt’ kind of idea. so i always kinda wanted to write a lowkey satirical(?) story full of morally ambiguous characters and questionable academic organizations. that turned out to be insurrection, which i waited for (i think? three to four years?) before i finally wrote it. AGAIN, it could’ve been better, but at this point, let’s just accept the fact that i’ll never be satisfied LOL. insurrection’s welton high school is based on my own high school,,, so you can tell how shitty my experience with education was in my high school years 🥳anyways, that’s why insurrection is so important to me. i feel like, in a way, it tells my story (and my friends’ stories too). the exam is a less optimistic (more satirical) view on the education system. while insurrection focused more on the students (their passions, their will to rebel and ‘cheat’ the shitty system), the exam focused more on the unfairness that students’ intelligence could be scored with fucking TESTS. one test that determines your whole future. utopia and dystopia respectively represented privileged children (who were more likely to succeed in the exam) and the lesser privileged children (who would inevitably fail the exam because they were never given the resources). yeah, i think the exam could’ve been executed better, but i think the overarching theme was there, which i’m pretty satisfied with. i’m passionate about screaming that the american education system sucks (as you can tell by this painfully long paragraph) lol i’m thinking of writing a fic in the future about an education system that actually works!!

ANYWAYS I’M SO SORRY I WROTE SO MUCH FUCK. BUT THERE’S MORE,,, HANG ON

others’ stories and writings that have impacted my own!!

starting with published authors! i’m a huge HUGEJFLKDJFLSDJ fan of louis sachar (i’m convinced this man is a genius lol). i LOVED holes, i LOVED small steps, i LOVED fuzzy mud, i LOVEDDD the whole wayside school series. he’s so witty? and creative??? like i owe all my outrageous ideas to him because he probably single-handedly taught me creativity when i was a kid LOL another author i LOVE is fredrik backman. he writes the best slice of life/coming of age stories. i’m particularly fond of a man called ove and my grandmother asked me to tell you she’s sorry (which inspired nothing a lil green can’t fix!!). honorable mentions go to ishiguro’s never let me go, faulkner’s as i lay dying, juster’s the phantom tollbooth. omfg i also had a HUGE shannon hale phase (the goose girl, enna burning, rapunzel’s revenge)—very fairy tale-esque but so magical and charming and CAPTIVATING!! i owe all of these authors a huge motherfucking THANK YOU. because they built me up this far 😭😭😭i love authors who are able to fully develop their characters or have the most amazing world-building ever. i think that’s why i put so much emphasis on my characters too. i rlly learned from the best 😭😭

as for internet authors!! i actually IDOLIZED this one author from wattpad (she was SERIOUSLY underrated). and i know there’s a stigma around wattpad authors (lowkey rightfully so; there’s some nasty stuff on there) but chloe was so SO talented. she wrote like a poet. it was insane. i never saw anyone who had a way with words like her. we were actually pretty close for a while but lost touch over the years. anyways, she wrote this beautiful, heartbreaking story called chrysanthemum,,, she deleted her account though so it’s not there anymore. (i know. i agonized over this for hours). she also wrote a horror fic (creatures) that STILL chills me to the bones. she inspired me to try writing horror too (in the future, i will!)

other than that, i love all of @inktae’s fics! she’s also an AMAZING writer. (her writing style is so eloquent and elegant and ugh! perfection!) her stories will make you feel nostalgic and lowkey heartbroken. she also writes a lot about nature/being around nature—it’s such a nice, beautiful, serene feeling. (she’s also the master of bittersweet endings!) i think i became obsessed with bittersweet endings because of her LOL some of her works that literally breathed LIFE into me: the blue notebooks, below thunder showers, written on the sky, first light (all of them are worth reading. her fics make you want to become a novelist—the inspiration i get from them is amazing!)

another legend is @jimlingss!! i still keep up with literally all of her works because istg she never disappoints. she has such a simple but fluent writing style, which i LOVE! it’s engaging through and through. and man, she has a talent for storytelling! but the one thing no other internet author can top is kina’s characters. some published authors can’t even develop a single protagonist in the 456 book pages they wrote yikes. (but just saying, kina can do it in like 9k words.) i have no idea how she does it but her characters just feel human—even if they're not, they STILL FEEL REAL??? (sorry i’m just fangirling) but like i’m serious, she really did inspire me to start putting more depth to my characters. after all, why would the reader be invested in a story if they don’t give two shits about the bland-ass characters?? her pivotal works that made ME wanna pIVOT my whole writing career: tears of a villain, flames and floe, game of temptation, head over heels to hell, a voyage to liberation, ghost in the machine, the weekend massacre, love pages, moirai, a piece of the moonlight

i mean look, i’d put down way more fics of kina’s that inspired me to become the writer that i am now,,, but i don’t wanna make this long ass ask even longer so ummm i’ll have to stop 😭😭but i am literally in love with all of these published and internet authors. i just don’t understand how they are so talented. i really DO learn from the best. and i learned different things from each author too!!

all of these stories (mine and others) have impacted my writing in some way or another. from my own, i learned from my mistakes lol. from others, i learned how to be a better writer. you can only write as much as you read. i stand by that fact to this day

anyways i’m so sorry you had to read this whole fucking essay 😭😭😭😭

#ask #anon #inspiration #writing #chana #i literally went so overboard #but okay look for the longest time i wanted to appreciate my fav authors #this is that appreciation post!!#now i have a perfect collection of the best authors right here in this ask

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annabethisterrified · 5 years ago

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Book Review: THE TYRANT’S TOMB by Rick Riordan (The Trials of Apollo #4)

“Today, one way or another, the fate of New Rome would be decided.”

THERE ARE NO SPOILERS UNTIL YOU GO BELOW THE CUT!

Reeling from the loss of Jason Grace and the mounting danger of his mission to stop the evil emperors ascendance, Apollo (aka Lester) and Meg arrive disheveled and devastated in New Rome...with a coffin in tow. Getting into Camp Jupiter is tricky enough, and once Apollo and Meg get caught up to speed on the chaos that’s been wreaked in the Bay Area, they realize that the impending battle will be the culmination of everything they’ve been fighting for. Reyna, Frank, and Hazel’s leadership roles put them to the ultimate test as they scramble to prepare for their final stand against Caligula and Commodus. Together, Apollo, Meg, and the inhabitants of New Rome must mourn who they’ve already lost while simultaneously gearing up for the inevitable confrontation that will seal the fate of their home once and for all.

The penultimate installment of The Trials of Apollo picks up on the heels of The Burning Maze’s tragic conclusion. Through Apollo’s perspective, the reality of what went down in the third book continues to weigh heavily upon the whole cast, but most of their focus is forced forward to an incredibly dangerous confrontation slated for the Blood Moon. Loose ends from the Heroes of Olympus series are tied neatly yet surprisingly, and the continued evolution of Apollo and Meg’s bond shines as the book’s true, gleaming heart. Apollo’s own recognition of his past failings, his father’s abusiveness, and the reality of what his humanity has taught him all come to a head, setting up what’s sure to be an impactful fifth and final book-- not just for Apollo’s journey, but as a capstone for what the whole saga’s implications about what it means to be a hero, and to be a human.

The Tyrant’s Tomb is consistently entertaining and heartfelt, but the final third of the story proves to be the most deftly-crafted and meaningful. Though not as heavy as its previous installment, this fourth book gives plenty of focus on some lovely development from our main protagonist, priming the series for its finale next fall.

If you click below, there will be spoilers.

Hello? Okay. You promise you’re good for spoilers...?

All right, just because of who I am as a person I guess, I’ve broken this down into like ten sections. Ooof. Generally, I will say that I was super pleased with how this story went. My only disappointment was that I’d hoped for more of a prolonged or “on-screen” unpacking of the effects of Jason’s death on the Camp Jupiter kids, specifically Reyna. However, I get that that’s kind of hard to do through Apollo’s perspective. I wasn’t totally sold on the idea that he sang a song haha, but I’m glad that Jason’s loss wasn’t just addressed at the beginning and then “moved on” from. It was threaded throughout, showing that grief is not something that you can check off a list. This is something that will always stay with these characters, and alter how they live and feel about things. It ebbs and flows. In addition, I think there could’ve been just a bit more action in the first half of the story, but it was never boring or aimless. And the concluding battle was expertly written and soooooo amazing omfg. Still reeling.

Anyway, let’s go.

FRANKLY, I HAVE NOTHING BUT LOVE

I’m so happy we got the chance to see Frank leading Camp Jupiter as praetor! He did such a good job, but also acknowledged that this is still a new role he’s transitioning into. I was so pleasantly surprised at how he managed to be both authoritative and gentle, and it was gut-wrenching to know that he intended to take Caligula down with him. When I imagined the fallout of Jason’s death, I always pictured Reyna being the one to tear down the emperors in revenge, which was why I was so affected by Frank’s commitment to honoring his friend. Not only did he order Jason’s designs to be built in like thirty hours, but he was so ready to avenge Jason that he was fully prepared to die.

What. An. Arc. I LOVE HIM. I’m glad he’s finally free of his burden, and that he gets to keep doing an epic job as praetor (though hopefully during more future peaceful times). Camp Jupiter’s lucky to have him.

SHINE ON HAZEL

Words can’t express how infatuated I was with Hazel in this book. She’s always been one of my favorites, but she really shone in this story. She was already so strong and developed at the end of Heroes of Olympus, but this book still brought her out better and smarter than she was before. She cannot be stopped. Hazel’s determination and grit make her formidable, and she definitely proved to be Rome’s greatest asset throughout the entire story.

I think it’s great that she gets to step up and take on Jason and Reyna’s former role of praetor...alongside Frank, too! I didn’t expect her to react with anger towards Jason once she found out about his death, but it hit me hard. She initially took Jason’s death to be a reflection of the Seven’s failings as a team. Hazel loved how powerful the bond between them all was, and when Jason took on the burden of TBM’s prophecy alone without confiding in anyone, I can totally see why she felt like that was a betrayal. UGH hit me hard.

REYNA REYNA REYNA!

Reyna is just objectively an amazing character. I’m so so so glad we got to revisit her in this story, and loved where she ended up going. Starting this book, I had literally no idea how she would be handled. She’s always been the quintessential strong leader, which is awesome, but I’m glad we got to unpack the implications behind her very...layered...existence. Leaving Puerto Rico in a traumatic situation, going straight to Circe’s Island, escaping as a pirate, carving out her path in New Rome, getting roped into the Titan then Giant War? Damn. She’s been through a lot, and none of it of her own free will.

Like I mentioned earlier, I wish we’d learned more of how she dealt with Jason’s death. They were obviously really close growing up, and though it was clear she was devastated and things were referenced “off-screen”, I still kind of wish we’d gotten a bit more. Regardless, I liked that the focus of her presence in this book was about HERSELF and nobody else.

And hello!!!!! She has a red truck!!!! and goes out hiking with her greyhounds??? makes me so glad.

And yeah-- that ending, huh? I know it got mixed reactions. Personally, it felt pretty natural to me. I’m so glad she stayed in touch with Thalia after the events of HoO, and knowing that they’ll be on eternal adventures with a bunch of other wonderful girls....happy sigh. Reyna’s right-- this is kind of a much-needed vacation by joining Artemis’s team. No matter how long or short she stays with them, it’s important that she’s able to reclaim her destiny and figure out what and who she’d like to be.

APOLLO & MEG

These two!!!!!!!!!!!! Holy shit. Their bond was so well handled and I loved seeing how it developed in this installment. They can communicate on an instinctual level-- they can call each other out, and recognize the abusive patterns both of their fathers have over them. They have so much in common, but also have so much to teach one another. I loved that they were both able to tell each other “I love you” and ughhhh yes the sibling dynamic is so epic. (Also, the whole Reyna and Meg ganging up on Apollo about Koronis bit was hysterical.) (And the “I thought you loved me?” “I’m multitasking.”)

WHERE TO NEXT?

Just because I haven’t said this yet, but HOLY MOLY I adored Lavinia. Oh my god. She was amazing-- hilarious, presumptuous, go-getter, kind...what a star!!! What a joy to read!

Anyway, now it’s onto the fifth and final installment...THE TOWER OF NERO. I’m so happy that we’re going back to where this story started (in both Hidden Oracle and The Lightning Thief)....New York! And it sounds like also a potential field trip to Delphi, Greece? I’m down!

I’m assuming we’ll be able to tag up with Annabeth, since she’s the only main-player we haven’t yet revisited in ToA. And probably also Percy, Nico, Will, Austin, Kayla, etc. at Camp Half Blood.

There’s a lot of ways this could all go down, but I think this book set up a heart-wrenching conclusion. I’m looking forward to Apollo and especially Meg standing up to their fathers and claiming their own lives. I’m not even sure if Apollo will want to be returned to godhood by the time his trials are up. We delved into some really interesting threads in this book-- he mentioned several times that he’d only ever felt comfortable and “at home” when he was human. What will that mean for his final trial?

In either case, this book was fabulous and I’m so glad we got a chance to learn more about Camp Jupiter and New Rome...and I feel like a lot got resolved, so it felt like a satisfying way to say goodbye to the California crew. I doubt they’ll be in the last book, so it was bittersweet but fitting to leave them as we did!

Now, we wait. One last time! Thanks for reading this if you made it all the way down, haha!

#review #tyrant's tomb #the trials of apollo #rick riordan #toa spoilers

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queen-erika-the-songful · 5 years ago

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most underappreciated barbie movie in ur opinion??? or top 3 at least xx

Oh, I’ve got plenty don’t you worry.

1) Princess & the Popstar and Rock ‘n Royals -- As I’ve said time and time again, Princess and the Pauper is my favorite Barbie movie. Nothing is going to top it for me. But I am sick and tired of Popstar and Royals being given unnecessary hate because “they were just bad remakes ugh”. Well, not even Royals, it’s mostly just Popstar that gets this treatment. Was it lazy of Mattel to reuse the “role-switch”/Prince and the Pauper story twice? Sure, I can agree to that. But that doesn’t mean Popstar or Royals is a remake. All three films have very different elements to them, from how the switch happens, to the tones of the films, the stories and messages, and the characterizations of the leads. I won’t say they don’t have their own problems, because of course, they do, but nearly every criticism I see is just endless comparisons to Pauper and how superior it is. They’ve all got great things about them and I wish more people would see that. I made a really long post about it over on barbie-movie-confessions because people already started bombarding me about the upcoming Princess Adventure movie.

2) Barbie presents Thumbelina -- I know a lot of people wanted a “faithful” adaptation of the Hans Christian Anderson tale, and I’ll admit that I used to want that as well, but in all honestly, the original tale does not have that much going on to make it into a full movie. I mean there’s Don Bluth’s Thumbelina from 1994, but it’s pretty average at best (though it looks beautiful). I think if Barbie had radically changed the source material like they did with past fairytales, it could’ve been good, but I think I like what we got better. It’s good to teach kids about the environment, and this is one of the only “Save the Earth” movies I can think of that doesn’t act super preachy. Plus the friendship between Thumbelina and Makenna is really the heart of the story. It’s at least a much better environmental film than Ferngully.

3) Barbie in Princess Power -- This was one of the goofier Barbie movies at times, but it’s still solid. Kara is an amazing protagonist, she actually wants to do something good for her kingdom, but still ends up learning a lesson as well. I really like that she gets lost in the glamour of glory and has to get called out on it. Humility and the true meaning of heroism are great lessons to show kids. I think if more people got past the animation style and the “sparkle orb” powers they might see the good in this movie.

4) Barbie: A Perfect Christmas -- While Christmas Carol is probably my favorite of the Barbie Christmas films, Perfect Christmas deserves a lot more praise because of how low-stakes it is and how well it’s written. The girls really feel like sisters, not just friends or girls who hang together. And the conflict is so simple yet honestly powerful. They just want to have their perfect holiday together, but they learn that all they need is each other. That is the PERFECT lesson to have in a sappy, heartwarming holiday film. I really love it.

5) Barbie: Mariposa & The Fairy Princess -- I always see people talking about how underrated the first Mariposa is, and I do agree it needs more love, but Fairy Princess has even less love. I’ve seen people complain about Mariposa no longer being a miserable outcast and how that’s “not in character” but that completely dismisses the lesson of the first film: Mariposa learned that everyone is unique, and you should just be yourself instead of trying to make yourself fit in. That’s why she’s so open in the sequel because she doesn’t feel like she needs to hide anymore. Plus there’s so many other great things about it: the messages of prejudice, the fact that Catania deals with childhood trauma and triumphs over her fears, the chemistry between Mariposa and Catania, oh it’s so GOOD! The only thing I myself really dislike about it is the fact that the Gwyllion gets de-aged at the end when she gets reformed. I mean, she still looks older, but not as old as she did throughout the rest of the movie. It’s very agest and I wish they hadn’t done that. And it’s not explained why she wanted/needed a Crystallite. I have a headcanon that she was cursed and was aging much faster than she should’ve been, which is why she de-ages at the end. But that’s just headcanon, so it doesn’t really help.

#asks #anonymous #barbie movies #barbie: the princess & the popstar #barbie in rock 'n royals #barbie presents thumbelina #barbie in princess power #barbie: a perfect christmas #barbie: mariposa & the fairy princess

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onestowatch · 4 years ago

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Molly Payton Breaks Down the Process Behind Her New ‘Porcupine’ EP

A lot of Molly Payton’s tracks have been written in the tube, when the night is over and booze courses her veins. “It's where I do my best writing,” she laughs. “When I'm absolutely hammered and angry at someone.” It figures: her music is drenched in melancholy, laced with yearning vocals and cutting lyrics about boys who read too much Kerouac and wish they lived in 1972. Still, she has her reservations about the habit. “It's not good,” she jokes, “how as a musician you capitalize off heartbreak. I'm at a point now where if I have a bad experience with a guy I'm like, ‘Sweet, thanks mate! Great song.’”

The New Zealand-born artist moved to London with her mum when she was sixteen. The plan was to stay for only a short stint, but when Molly’s music started taking off that turned into two years (and counting). While Molly had been writing songs and singing for a while at that stage, she hadn’t yet considered making it a career. “In New Zealand I just never really thought of it as a possibility,” she explains. Back then, the main Kiwi artists she knew that had made it big were a couple of bands her parents liked, and Lorde. And while she notes that’s changing, it wasn’t until she’d trekked halfway across the world that pursuing music felt like a tangible possibility. “Moving to London,” she explains, “I was meeting people who it just happened to.”

Those people were the likes of bedroom pop turned breakout rock star beabadoobee, and Oscar Lang, who’s signed with The 1975’s label Dirty Hit. Alongside Molly, they’re part of a crew of talented young London creatives, the kind that make you feel very old and uncool. “They were a really influential group,” Molly says. “I definitely wouldn't have done anything if I hadn't met them. Just being around young people like that who've made what they want to happen was really good for me, to see that it's possible.”

While Molly’s mates may have helped nudge her in the right direction, she’s clearly got the talent to make on her own strength, as evidenced on her debut EP Mess. Released earlier this year and produced by Oscar, it’s a collection of fuzzy acoustic-leaning tracks, inspired by the likes of Jeff Buckley and Leonard Cohen. They’re like wrapping yourself in a warm blanket of nostalgia and show off a voice that could melt steel.

Now Molly’s just released her second EP, Porcupine. This time round she’s taking notes from the 90s bands she has on repeat, including Nirvana and Pavement. It’s aided by the fact after an extensive two-year search, she’s finally got a band of her own to flank her on stage and in the studio. The result is a slick collection of fuller, grungier tracks, the kind you can imagine swaying to in a dingy underground club with sweat lining the walls.

We caught up with Molly from opposite ends of the world to chat writer’s block, pre-show rituals and coming home for summer.

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Ones to Watch: Are you someone who's constantly writing?

Molly Payton: I used to be. But in lockdown I didn't write anything. I think it was partly because I got back from a trip to the States two days before lockdown, and when I was there, I was in writing sessions every day, and I felt like I'd just been squeezed out. I just didn't feel like writing for the first time in my life. But it's coming back now.

Do you have a process?

Not really. Most of my best songs I wrote in like 20 minutes.

Is that just you picking up a guitar and writing everything at the same time?

Throughout my day I'll be having things in my head, but it won't feel like a song, just ideas. Little melodies or playing around with chords. And every once in a while, - it's so nice - I'll just sit there and play something and be like, ‘Oh that sounds good,’ and keep playing. Then I get my phone out and go into my thousand notes of like, two lyrics at a time, and start putting stuff together. And it just happens. It’s the nicest experience. Though in the second EP, two of the singles actually, Warm Body and How to Have Fun, those are the first two songs I wrote with other people in writing sessions.

It must've been a pretty different experience having had that experience of songwriting on your own, then sitting in writing sessions. What was that like?

It depends. I hate some writing sessions. There have been a few that I just wanted to leave. But those two sessions were just fun. I wrote Warm Body with Oli [Barton Wood] who produced the EP. It was the first time we met, and I was so nervous because it was my first ever proper writing session. And he just gave me a guitar and put heaps of distortion on it, then gave me a really shitty mic. Which I think was probably the best first session I could've had.

How come?

Because most of the time it's just someone will have either an acoustic guitar and they'll be like, 'tell me about your ex-boyfriend', or they'll have a drum machine and put a little beat in the computer, and you'll do things really systematically. Whereas Oli was like, just play something and I'll play along, and we'll see if something happens. And that's how Warm Body happened.

You have a really powerful voice - is that a thing that you had to - excuse the cliché - find?

Oh god yeah, I had a really good singing teacher for two years. I wasn't a good singer. I always wanted to, I always sang, but I didn't start singing singing until I was about 15. My teacher was really about giving you confidence. And that's my thing, because I have really, really bad anxiety. Which is funny, because I was such a performer when I was a kid. But the idea of going on stage to someone with such bad anxiety, especially at that age, was terrifying. Which is hard - wanting to be a musician and being fucking terrified of going on stage.

Do you have any pre-show things to help that now?

Beer. [laughs].

Fair.

But I don't get nervous anymore, I don't know if it's because I have a band now... Probably. I have the best band in the world. They're all a bit older and have been doing music forever, so they're crazy talented musicians. And I know when I go on stage with them that if I fuck up, Simon the guitarist will do some crazy shit on the guitar and distract everyone while I get my shit together.

Did moving to London change how you wrote at all?

To be honest I was 16 when I moved here, and in [home country] New Zealand I was quite a shy kid. I hadn't experienced much, then was suddenly thrust into this crazy world. Because the school I went to here, and the people I was mixing with, were so far away from any kind of world I'd experienced before. It was very different, very intense. Going out all the time, having freedom for the first time in my life - and very suddenly - was a bit scary. I don't know if it changed my style of writing, I think that happened more through writing heaps and getting better. But my sound would've changed if I’d stayed in NZ. I met different people, and that would've changed the subject matter. It's hard to say. I don't even know if I’d be writing if I'd stayed in NZ. It's a bit nuts to think about, y’know.

Do you miss New Zealand?

So much. I miss my family, and how fucking pretty it is. London's beautiful but it's beautiful in a sad way. Everything about London makes me feel melancholy.

I lived in London for six years, so know what you mean.

Maybe it's because I’ve watched too many films. I always feel like I'm in a movie here, whereas in New Zealand I feel like a human being. It's also that weird feeling of separation here where no one knew me before. When I moved here, I had this freedom to be who I wanted to be, which was really fun for a while. I was like, ‘I'm gonna be confident, that's my thing now.’ Which was great, and it's nice to have that thing of, ‘No one knows that embarrassing thing I did when I was a kid.’ But after a while you miss having that. I've got four siblings, and I'm the baby. So just missed getting teased. And Christmas. I had Christmas on my own. In London. It was so sad. My mum was back in New Zealand.

That’s tough.

But whenever I say that to people who are living here, they're like, ‘Well why don't you just go back?’ And I’m just like, no of course not, I want to be here. It's London. In the same way it's sad, it's amazing. But I'm coming to NZ for a while so i'm gonna get my feed.

The dream is to just do summer to summer.

The thing is, I'm a winter person, I love winter. I think it's ‘cause I just love a good coat. I love hot drinks.

That's true. Two winter USPs.

There's nothing better than New Zealand winter. We'd go skiing and stay in this rinky dinky little hut and had to hike up the mountain because the lift didn't go. So, you'd have this horrible hike carrying your skis and your bag, then get into this warm hut and sit down and have a hot chocolate. Ugh. I miss winter.

I’ve just had two in a row so you can have one of mine. What are your next music goals?

I’d love to do a proper tour. That's the dream, I'd love to be able to play just every day. But it's weird, I'm such a homebody. Deep down I'm a huge grandpa, it's my secret to surviving London. I have some friends who go on tour and I'm like, ‘How do you survive, how do you manage this lifestyle every day?’ Because they go out after every gig, get trashed and do it again. Whereas I can't handle a hangover. I’m like 'Cancel it all. I’m sleeping today.'

Fair enough.

#Molly Payton #rock #Porcupine

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