#am i way too busy to add a weekly something to my schedule?

[bookishfreedom]

might fuck around and sign up for a writing class

[makeste]

[39 weeks later]

well all right then. I owe some explanations and some updates, so let's just get straight to that.

1. "what the hell, makeste. you can't just disappear for nine months and leave a sign on your blog that says "gone leavin'.'"

yeah I know. sorry guys.

so there are a lot of reasons for my long absence, but when you boil it all down, the essence is basically as follows: at its absolute max capacity, my ADHD brain is capable of keeping up with any two of the following: (1) work; (2) school; (3) tumblr. that's it. only two. no more and no less.

and for years this has not mattered at all because school was no longer in the picture! but as mentioned in my last two update posts, as of this past January, I had to start taking classes again for career advancement reasons, meaning my brain was quickly overloaded and something had to give. so yeah. I can assure you the past nine months have absolutely sucked and I am not AT ALL sure that it was worth it, but it is what it is.

I also want to add that I never intended to basically fall off the face of the earth anywhere near to this extent, let alone for this long. but in retrospect I probably should have seen it coming, seeing as this is not the first time it's happened, sob. and also in hindsight, towards the end of last year (during which I was already struggling to keep up with the weekly BnHA reactions) someone mentioned that it sounded like I was showing signs of being potentially close to burnout. turns out that observation was spot on lol.

so yeah. tl;dr, burnout + an obnoxiously busy real life schedule + a sprinkling of good old-fashioned ADHD "somehow I always underestimate how hard it is to restart something after taking a long break from it, and the longer I go without returning the worse it gets" brain shenanigans (more on that last part further down).

2. "MAKESTE. WHILE YOU WERE GONE, IN THE MANGA, THERE WAS A THING -- "

yes I have unfortunately been spoiled about The Thing.

3. "so wait, exactly how spoiled are you?? CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE THING"

I will make a separate post to talk about The Thing! I expect that many people will want to talk about this, and tbh I've really been wanting to talk about it too! I'm telling you, when I say the past nine months have sucked, I mean they have truly SUCKED, you guys. school is so fucking boring and I miss rambling about fandom stuff so fucking much.

anyway but with that said, ~*~PLEASE DO NOT TALK ABOUT ANY SPOILERS IN THIS POST~*~. I don't want to delete anybody's comments! but I will if necessary because I am a spoiler narc and I don't want to risk accidentally ruining stuff on the off chance that a non-spoiled person comes across this post. so yeah. however please do feel free to message me or comment in my other post (which I will link once it’s up; eta: here it is) if you do want to talk about The Thing.

4. "so aside from The Thing, are you otherwise caught up with the BnHA manga currently?"

so here's the hilarious part: no, I am not caught up. not even remotely. literally the last chapter of BnHA I read was chapter 339, which is the most recent chapter that I liveblogged, all the way back on December 31, 2021. I literally have not read a single new BnHA chapter in the year of our lord 2022 lol. :') basically for the same reasons I mentioned in my previous update post. tl;dr, reading/liveblogging a single new BnHA chapter is a minimum 4+ hour commitment for me, and by this point I have accrued a backlog of... oh sweet lord. 35 total chapters lol. so yeah. that's approximately 140 hours of catch-up that I need to do, which is paralyzing just to think about.

I do still plan on catching up, obviously! I'm just not sure how, lol. I may have some time to spare this weekend, so I might try to binge a few chapters and see how it goes. then I'll have to come up with some sort of sustainable posting schedule. I've been thinking about this for a while and I might try to do a Mon/Wed/Fri thing if I can swing it, but I don't want to commit to anything for sure yet until I see how those first few chapters go. fingers crossed, though.

anyway so I guess that's it. post is getting long. anything more will just be rambling.

sorry again, guys. how is everyone? what did I miss. aside from twitter dying and tumblr welcoming the refugees into our culture by inviting them to participate in the newly created fandom of a nonexistent 1970s mafia film.

[tokidokitokyo]

2023年1月31日

Welcome to my first study log update of the year! The year is still fresh and I'm happy to report that my motivation is still high. I find that making these study logs to track my progress I can maintain my motivation throughout the year, even during times where life and work get really busy and I think I won't have as much time for study. So, let's start this off!

今年の初勉強記録へようこそ！新年はまだ新鮮のに勉強のモチベーションはまだ高く��頑張っています。この勉強記録を作るのは勉強のモチベーションの一つになります。一年中に書くと、モチベーションが下がったり、忙しくなったりするときでもやる気が出ます。それで、今から1月の記録を始めます！

My 2023 Goals Progress

I laid out some broad goals for my Japanese study in my 2023 Japanese Language Goals post. This is my first report on the progress I've made on these goals during the month of January!

1. Read one page a day of 日本の歴史366 (にほんのれきし366) everyday in 2023.

Since it's only a page to read, and the subject is history, I make time to read the page (and look up the vocabulary I don't know ^^) every day.

2. Finish 日本語総まとめ N3 (にほんごそうまとめ N3) workbooks.

The JLPT N3 workbooks I am using are a bit more involved, so I can't do the work daily, but when I do have the time (about once a week or so) I sit down and go through the Vocabulary, Kanji, Grammar, and Listening workbooks all at once.

3. Review and learn the first 6 levels of the 常用漢字 (じょうようかんじ), specifically the 教育漢字 (きょういくかんじ) up to grade 6.

Lately, I have been focusing more on new kanji rather than kanji review of the 常用漢字, but in February I will return my focus to the grade 2 kanji I was reviewing previously.

4. Read at least one book every two months.

I think I might have taken on too much in January, as I have been trying to finish up a book I started in December, then I picked up a new book and a new manga in the beginning of this year. I am going through the new book page-by-page and recording any words or I don't know, which is taking up a lot of time. I doubt I will finish it this month, but once I am done with it I think I will have learned a lot of new vocabulary.

5. Improve my speaking and writing by finding a tutor.

I have put this goal on hold because of work, but when things calm down in April I plan to search for a tutor and make a weekly tutoring schedule. I plan to use italki because it is the most popular platform.

6. Study Japanese for at least 10 minutes a day.

This goal has been a habit of mine since the beginning of 2022, and I am glad to see that I have been keeping up with it so far in 2023. I have a basic tracker set up in Notion, and this inspires me to do something every day so that I have something to record. I've also picked up a heat map tracker from No zero days in 2023 langblr challenge which provides another visual method for tracking my daily study.

These methods help me to be very mindful with my studying, which is what 2023 is all about for me!

January Study Log

Reading - I have started off strong with reading, although I've probably taken on more reading material than I have time for. Books I am currently reading:

コンビニ人間 - finishing from December (22% done)

満月珈琲店の星詠み - started Jan. 1st (15% done)

花野井くんと恋の病 (manga) - started Jan. 1st (30% done)

Vocabulary & Kanji - A lot of my vocab & kanji comes from my reading and making a vocab/kanji list from the 満月珈琲店 book I'm reading, but I also try to do vocabulary & kanji flash cards on a daily basis.

Vocabulary & Kanji flash cards (renshuu.org)

言葉で遊ぼう (Japanese wordle)

Listening - Primarily conversational listening with family and friends, or TV/movies, but with some 総まとめ workbook listening sprinkled in. I'd like to do some focused JLPT listening practice soon!

Grammar - Grammar videos are one of the best ways for me to study since they are about 15 minutes each and I take hand-written notes. This month I finished up the Nihongo no Mori JLPT N3 grammar videos!

日本語の森 N3

Going Forward in February

I would like to build upon the momentum I created this month, and while I'd like to continue with the routine I have right now, I would like to add in a few other things to try to mix things up and keep studying interesting.

Continue with the six primary goals I made at the beginning of 2023

Try focusing on a different skill category each month (January has been focused primarily on Reading - I'd like to focus on Listening in February)

Try out a new app - I've downloaded a few different apps that I would like to try out in some detail

Refocus my kanji study on 常用漢字

I hope your language learning journey in 2023 is everything you want it to be! Best of luck everyone ^.^

皆さん、2023年の勉強を努力しましょうね！とても生産的な一年になりますように ^.^

[houkagokappa]

It’s Monday and I’m exhausted. I didn’t get to rest on the weekend, because I had uni work and chores to keep me busy for most of it. I also celebrated my sister’s birthday with my family, which I have mixed feeling on, since my sister was late for it by two hours. I could’ve used those two hours to wind down and just exist as myself, but instead I spent them annoyed at her being late, worried something might’ve happened, anxious not knowing what was going on and irritated because I hadn’t eaten anything since the morning and had gotten incredibly hungry. My sister’s habitually late, but she usually lets us know how late she’ll be and this time around we got radio silence. When she finally picked up (an hour later) it turned out that she overslept because she spent the entire night (until 8 am) helping a friend who was dealing with “a crisis”, and once she went to sleep she forgot to set an alarm. I can’t even be mad at her for being late because she did the right thing helping a friend in need (8 am might seem excessive, but sometimes that’s life and I’m not about to question the validity of someone's crisis).

I had a good time once she got to my parents place, but it is really frustrating how she continues to show no respect for us and our time, especially this week and last week when I’ve had to push myself to make the schedules work. One of the things that annoy me the most is how she’s never cared to put the effort in for us, “that’s just how she is and we should plan around it”, even though she’s entered an industry where the working hours are strict and she doesn’t seem to have any problems following those or going above and beyond to help her friends. I guess this stems from/adds to the bigger issue where I feel like I’m not important enough to be worth that extra effort (although I’m super close to my sister so it’s not like she doesn’t appreciate me).

It also really sucks how I’ve gotten a lot of great news lately, and I’m currently doing an internship that I’ve dreamed about for ages, but I’m still stressed and exhausted. My life is supposed to be “good” right now, so why don’t I feel that way? The answer is because I overwork myself, which is frustrating, since I’m too much of a perfectionist to spend less time on tasks (double, triple, quadruple checking everything before I turn in any assignments) and I have been working less weekly hours than what’s intended for the internship, so it feels like I should be able to deal with this much, if not more.

I mentioned being exhausted to my dad and his response was “welcome to the working life”, which was irritating since 1) this is not my first job/it’s not even a job, so it’s not like this is my first experience with working life, and 2) he doesn’t have a bunch of extra uni work and a single person household to run at the same time. I pointed that out to him, but he claimed to still think about work during his weekends (which is probably true to some degree, but it’s still not the same). My parents are lovely people and they do help me out a lot with different things, but they’ve never understood my mental health struggles (which, to be fair, I hide for the most part). They probably don’t think I have any anymore, since I’m doing all these things now, so it feels like I get very little sympathy for my troubles. I’m also worried that my life’s always going to be this way, with me not having as much energy as I used to have/ want to have/ feel like I’m expected to have. Like I’ve come a long way, but life’s still kinda shit :/

...

I have to remember to be kinder towards myself. I’ll schedule in time for my uni assignments and I’ll take it away from the hours I’d spend on my internship (since they allow me to come and go as I please), so that I’ll have the evenings off. I’ll attend events only if I feel like I’m up for it, I’m not going to force myself to attend just because something’s organized and it sounds fun. I’ve been doing better, but I still need to remind myself to take it easy.

[kirstenlinae]

Counting My Blessings

I've got about twenty minutes before I have to pack my lunch and start getting ready for work. All in all, I honestly had a pretty productive morning that I feel really good about. I woke up around 9:30a, had a few cups of coffee, rode my bike for a half an hour, cleaned the kitchen and did the dishes, had a healthy breakfast and took my insulin/medicine. I am feeling a little tired and sluggish now, though...wish I could take a short nap before work. Probably best that I don't, though. I'll just wake up more tired.

I am only working at the hotel three days a week right now. She took me off of my Saturdays for this schedule (3 weeks) which cuts out two extra shifts. I am supposed to work Weds-Fri and every other Saturday. I assume my boss made the schedule that way in order to be more fair, and give everyone some hours. I asked her why she cut my Saturdays and she said that the change is only temporary. In all honesty, I would rather only work 3 days a week at the hotel and pick up another bi-weekly housekeeping client instead. I don't have any potential clients lined up for that, though.

Anyway, enough about all that boring day-to-day stuff. I honestly wanted to make a post to say that I am trying to focus on what's in front of me at the moment. Meaning my healthy lifestyle changes and surgery. While I would love to go back to school in January, I just don't think it's a good idea financially or otherwise. I talked to my mom about it yesterday and this morning and she agrees. She encouraged me to apply for scholarships between now and next summer. I guess it wouldn't hurt to try. Aside from the school stuff, I woke up today feeling like God has blessed me with this opportunity for surgery, to potentially put my diabetes into remission and add years onto my life. To open up possibilities that wouldn't otherwise present themselves to me if I stayed overweight and sick. However, a blessing means nothing if you don't take responsibility for it. If you don't further cultivate it. That's where I am at right now. I need to start at A and go to B. I have always been the type to get impatient with the process of things but, this lifestyle change is not something you can rush. When I was in school previously, earning my bachelor degree, I would always think that I would be able to focus on my health after I graduated since school took up so much of my time and energy. I would be foolish to rush back into school without taking care of myself first. Before I started this process for surgery, I felt like the sands of time were slipping through my fingers and there was nothing I could do about it. Now I feel more in control of my health and thus, my destiny. I woke up grateful this morning. Grateful for the opportunities that are already right in front of me. I woke up with a new motivation, a new desire for consistency that would yield me results.

School can wait. Right now I am too busy doing healthy girl shit.

Until next time.

[gummygowon]

cute relationship things with ateez!

genre: fluff (a lot)

warnings: none :)

established relationship!

a/n: i meant to post this like two weeks ago but i never finished it so consider this an early valentine’s day gift <3 ;) 

seonghwa:

for some reason, i feel like seonghwa likes to read books

with that being said, on lazy days where you guys didn’t want to get up and do anything

you guys would read books !!!

before you guys would read some were recommendations from each other on your own

and then maybe rant to each other over little details about the book like how the main character went back to their toxic ex or how the ending of a book was so bad

“seonghwa, how did you even read this?!? the stupid ass main character keeps going back to that one jerk! like does she not realize she deserves more than his ugly ass???!!!?”

“y/n, just keep reading.” 

“but hwa-”

turns out the main character got with the other woman yayyyyy!!! fuck shitty men

i don’t know how it happened but you guys started your own little book club with each other

so you guys could finally talk rant together at the same time about the book

so since you guys started to read the same book and if you guys found down time together you would read together

like, imagine it’s a peaceful friday night

seonghwa is back from work and so are you

you guys already showered and ate dinner

you’re just reading and then seonghwa just scoops you up and then puts you in between his legs with your back against his chest

and you’re like “wtf bro?”

and he’s just like, “what? i wanna read too???”

“didn’t you like read ahead tho??”

“yeah, but i wanna read it again.”

that was a fatass lie

he just wanted to be close to you 

hongjoong:

ok so, we all know that this man is hella busy all the time

mans is the leader, song writer, producer, dancer, rapper (which is why he is good at all positions)

but you were patient with him and whenever he goes days without seeing you due to his busy ass schedule he would make it up to you yk what i mean

but on the more chill days when you saw hongjoong or even the days where he was cooped in his studio (you would visit him there because sometimes you just had to see him)

you guys would just lay on the couch, just enjoying each other’s presence and not feel like you have to make up for lost time

you would be on the bottom on your phone or reading a magazine/book

then hongjoong would be at the top with his head on your stomach as he would be writing down lyrics that came to mind

killing two birds with one stone you feel me

sometimes you would show him a funny meme that you found or quote something that you just read to him 

“hongjoong, look at the way he fell!” you would be dying of laughter

and then he wouldn’t notice because he was really roped into making lyrics 

but you also didn’t see him focusing so much because you were of course laughing at the kid that accidentally got bitchslapped off the couch because of their sibling

“joongie look!!!”

“what is it?”

you would then show him what happened and then he would look at with that “you really interrupted me for this??” type of look

“i just lost my train of thought for this song because you wanted to show me this kid falling off of a couch???” 

“yes?” 

he would just bring a hand to his face and think what tf? why tf? and then slowly start laughing because of what just happened

“see, wasn’t it funny?”

“a child getting hurt isn’t funny, y/n” he would laugh while scolding you

yunho:

yunho powers im sorry for this one

alright so, it’s night time 

you guys are about to go to bed after a long day or work/school whatever

your eyes are fluttering closed because the day got you beat beat

but then yunho just kisses your face

and then you open your eyes slowly again to see yunho look like he just got caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to do

like imagine a kid that just got caught drawing on the walls

that’s what his face would look like

he’s just laying there like “i thought you were asleep...”

“i was just about to...”

yunho feels lowkey guilty now because you’re awake now and he knows you had a long day

he just couldn’t resist kissing you 

you just looked so pretty and peaceful sleeping 

mans was reminded by the universe themself about how lucky he was being able to date you

like, godamn what did he do in his past life to deserve you?

ok, back to this reaction idea thing-

yunho would apologize for waking you up with his cheeks a nice rosy color

you just look at him with tired eyes 

“i’ll forgive you, if you give me more kisses.”

and yunho’s smile just lights up the whole damn room and he’s like oh? say less

so he goes to kissing your face

like all over

your nose

your cheeks

forehead

basically anywhere ok?

and you end up laughing because it tickles 

but you just want him to kiss your lips which he does 

... eventually lmao

but when he does your still laughing which causes him to laugh

he tells you “i love you, did you know that?”

and you get all flustered and shit but you still keep that playful energy around 

“i love you too, but you aren’t forgiven just yet”

which leads to more kisses :))))

yeosang:

ok so you’re now the busy one

yeosang has so much respect for you because holy shit how do you balance that busy ass schedule of yours

your homework loads were no jokes 

then to add to that you have a job which was even more stressful

it was amazing how you can manage all that and still keep a smile on your face

you also had major respect for yeosang as an idol

the industry was not a place to fuck around 

you couldn’t be happier that your boyfriend was lucky enough to have a group who actually cared and supported each other

speaking of ateez, yeosang isn’t the most touchy person in the world

you didn’t mind of course, you’re the same way

however, when he did give you cuddles and kisses you would be a blushing mess

a sort of rare sight that yeosang loved to see

anyways, one night you were busy writing those argumentative essays that you were sure that your fingers would fall off by the time you were finished

you were working on it ever since you got home from school (with the occasional food and bathroom breaks )to the time when yeosang came back from practice

you moved to your shared bed by the time the sweaty boy came home and he was surprised that you were working on one subject for so long

the stupid piece was almost finished by the time yeosang was out of the shower

however, you didn’t even notice

you were too immersed in your writing to notice

yeosang took this as an opportunity to sit behind you and wrap his arms around your waist and watch over your shoulder as you worked

and of course, he would kiss your cheek occasionally

this was super sweet gesture but yeosang but you didn’t the notice that he wrapped his arms around you

“ai yah! what the hell?” you yelled and turned around to see your boyfriend clutching his chest

“oh it’s just you.”

yeosang would give you a deadpanned look and be like, “yeah, who else tf???”

you would apologize and kissing his cheek before returning to back to work 

which yeosang would return to hugging your waist and keep his head on your shoulder

and give you occasional kisses on your cheek or neck

after that night, it became a weekly occurrence

which you loved of course, who wouldn’t love their bf cuddling them while they chased their bag

san:

i am very excited for this one

ok so, san loves playing with your hair

it’s just so much fun 

running his fingers through it or just attempting to braid it or put it into a tiny ponytail

he loved it

he would probably always play with your while you were watching tv together, sitting together in the car, or even before you guys fall asleep

then one day after san came home early from work 

you guys were chilling on the bed watching the latest k-drama that came out since san made you wait so you guys could watch it together

san was in between your legs with his back leaning against your chest 

and that’s when you decided to run your fingers through his soft, fluffy hair

that’s also when san asked you to braid his hair

“sure, what type of braid though?”

“there’s different kinds????” 

“yes, san. now pick one.” you gave him your phone that was pulled up to different types braids.

“i want the french ones. they sound fancy.”

you roll your eyes and start sectioning his hair into two sections and start braiding his hair and lightly pull on the pink strands because you know san likes his hair pulled

so you doing his hair right 

and you begin rambling about your day/week

talking about whatever interesting happened to you because you know that san likes hearing you talk no matter what it’s about

however, you were knee deep into talking about the latest drama at work that you didn’t even realize that san stopped talking

“san?”

he didn’t answer and his head would be dipping down so low you were surprised you didn’t fall over

“baby?”

san still wouldn’t respond to you 

but this time he just flipped over so his head would be on your stomach as he wrapped your arms around your stomach

“mmmmmmm?”

“nevermind love, just sleep.” 

he would respond by burying his head further into your stomach and tightened his hold around you

you kissed his head and ran your fingers through his hair which lulled san to sleep even more

“goodnight sannie.”

mingi:

you have been best friends with song mingi ever since you moved into the tiny neighborhood that you call home

it all started when your parents brought you over to your next door neighbor’s house for breakfast on a cold saturday morning 

you were extremely shy when you were little so the only thing you could remember about your first experience with mingi was hiding behind your mother’s leg for the first hour of being there and watching the young boy play with his toy cars and planes before he finally offered a pirate ship to you

ever since that unforgettable saturday, you pretty much spent the rest of your childhood with mingi

you guys were practically joined at the hip 

even when you were getting endlessly teased by your classmates for the first month of school for having an accent whenever you spoke 

which resulted in you running to the bathroom crying

not even a minute later, you heard someone burst through the girls’ bathrrom

“y/n?”

you peaked your head out of the stall to see your tall neighbor looking out of breath

“mingi, you aren’t supposed to be here!” you said in between sobs

“it’s okay, i don’t care.” he said as he awkwardly wrapped his arms around you. “are you okay?”

you shook your head no looking at him with tears running down your face

the poor boy was internally freaking out since he has no clue on how to comfort people (especially if they’re a girl)

he was like eight at the time give him a little break

so of course, his first reaction was to make you laugh somehow

and he did this by randomly recreating the “boots and cats, boots and cats” rhythm after seeing siri do it in a youtube video and started to bop his head 

surprised by his sudden movements, you laughed out of pure confusion

as soon as mingi saw the corner of your lips flip upwards he began rapping faster to the point where he was gasping for breath leading him into a coughing fit 

“mingi you can breathe, y’know!” you giggled in between words

after the young boy had caught his breath from hacking away at his lungs, he smiled at you 

until- the teacher had came into the bathroom, scolding mingi for going into the girls’ restroom

even though mingi didn’t care at all that he got in trouble, the only thing he cared about was that you were feeling better

ever since then whenever you were sad or having a bad day mingi would whip out his phone and ask siri to rap while he free-styled over the monotone voice 

he literally still does it

even two years into your relationship-

“siri, can you rap for me?” mingi would ask his phone as he pointed his free arm at you

“boots and cats-”

“mingi, please no.” you laughed in between tears, your mood rising with every beat

wooyoung:

i wholeheartedly believe that wooyoung would kiss you face if you were sad

but the first time this happened, you guys were still fairly new into your relationship

which meant that you weren’t completely ready to be extremely vulnerable around wooyoung 

because in your mind, letting someone see you at your lowest lows of means that you really trust and love someone to let them see you like that

you always wanted to be known as the strong person in the friend group

you were that glue that held everyone together

always listening to others and taking care of others before yourself

which is why wooyoung fell in love with you in the first place

he had never been in a relationship where someone was so caring and thoughtful of others that he was scared that he wouldn’t be enough for you and that you deserved better

of course, he didn’t tell you that right away but he confessed to you about that wayyy later in your relationship which is another story to be told

but one day, life was coming at you so fucking fast

assignments were piling up left and right and deadlines were literally every other day

and then there seemed to be an increase in the amount of angry karens at your work

and your patience was thinning everyday with those people

then to top it all off, all the tests you’ve been studying for, you got mediocre grades, some even worse in other subjects

it just felt like no matter how much work you put into whatever you do, you got half ass results

it was just pushing your mental health further into the ground

you could handle a C every once in awhile but multiple? on back to back tests? no fucking way you just couldn’t

those stupid, dark thoughts would cloud your mind in an instant and on days like this, you would just let them consume you

you were too tired to pick yourself up again and fight back which led to you crying in wooyoung’s arms

usually, you would feel so embarrassed crying over things like this when you know other people have it worse but you couldn’t hold in it anymore 

you ranted about yourself in between your hiccups from crying which would hurt wooyoung’s heart a little bit

because he thought of you as such a strong and kind person- the complete opposite of what you were saying about yourself

so when you were done talking, wooyoung made you look at him and assured you that you were not any of those nasty things that you said about yourself

each insult turned into a thoughtful compliment accompanied by a kiss

“y/n, you are so intelligent-” 

kiss

“caring-”

kiss

“beautiful-”

kiss

“more than everything i ever wanted”

kiss

by the time wooyoung was done, you were a giggling mess

“and this is why i love you.”

he finally kissed you on your lips, smiling into it like the dork he is

it was the first ever time he told you that he loved you

jongho:

i am also a firm believer that jongho would sing his s/o to sleep

like with that heavenly voice of his, he better put them to sleep 

so on the first night you ever slept with jongho, you were too nervous to go to bed even though your body was screaming at you to close your eyes 

you kept tossing and turning every few minutes or your eyes would shoot open with your heart racing

at this point, you gave up on trying to sleep and got up (carefully to not wake up your sleeping boyfriend) to get a drink

while you were in the kitchen, clutching your chest in an effort to get yourself to calm down, jongho had stirred awake to an empty bed

a flash of panic surged through his body as he momentarily forgot where he was since he wasn’t at his dorm his room never looked this clean 

yawning, the vocalist would wander into the light with his eyes squinted, “y/n?”

“oh my god!” you jumped, water almost spilling out your glass

jongho covered his ears, “what are you doing up?”

“oh,” you felt your cheeks turn red since you felt bad for waking your boyfriend up. “i can’t sleep.”

“why?” he asked, walking towards the couch.

“i don’t know.” you answered as you followed close behind. 

you curled up next to jongho, clutching his shirt “i’m sorry for waking you up.”

jongho smiled tiredly at you before kissing your head, “don’t be. it’s okay. i don’t have work tomorrow anyways.”

you smiled in response before the two of you guys fell into a silence

“do you want me to sing you to sleep?”

“yes, please.” you murmured into his side as jongho placed his other arm around you, successfully trapping you in between his arms

he began singing softly into your ear as he stroked your hair

his warm voice coaxing your eyes to close 

at last, your mind was at peace with itself

your heart beat slowing down

and by the time the song was finished you were fast asleep in arms

jongho kissed your forehead once more 

“i love you.”

[clairecrive]

Ooh okay this is TOTALLY self-serving but i’m doing it anyway—could you do a (fem)reader x remus where the reader is juggling all sorts of things—working at the ministry and taking classes at night or something along those lines and feels like she’s wasting what are supposed to be her golden years and so she gets upset one night and remus is incredibly good about calming her down and comforting her about it?

"Cake by the sofa"

A/n: not to make this self-serving anon but writing this felt like therapy lmao. Today I offer you some much needed Remus fluff.

Warnings: none, pure fluff

Word count: 1.3K

Tags: @ashlovesthemarauders, @jupiterandbutterflies , @hannaxmaria, @seldomabsent (if you want, you can add yourself to my taglist by filling this form)

HARRY POTTER MASTELIST

The subway was always jam-packed at this hour and you hated it. You hated it and you couldn't avoid it in any way. This was your assigned entrance to the Ministry of Magic. Any other day it would be fine, you'd put on an audiobook or some music but today... today was just too much. Not to mention that the incessant noise was making it impossible to talk to Remus.

You had left before he'd wake this morning and realizing that you haven't spent some quality time with him in ages broke your heart.

"Bunny, you there?" Did you already mention that the connection was shit underground?

"Sorry, love I'm here what were you saying?"

"I asked you when you'd be home tonight."

"Oh," you hummed trying to recall the schedule for today. Thankfully, ministry jobs were 9-5. Sure, they'd usually call you to make extra hours but you couldn't remember if you had to do so today.

Then it hit you, you had taken on a night shift at a local muggle newspaper. It was actually demanded from your superior at the Ministry as a way to make sure that muggles stayed in the dark about the Wizarding world.

"I'm going to be late again tonight, actually." You grimaced at the words. Remus had never pressured you and he himself was a very busy man. Between his job, your jobs and the Order, you rarely see each other, to the point where you were mostly roommates rather than boyfriend and girlfriend.

"Again," he mused and you could hear the weariness in his tone. Sighing, you landed on a wall. You were in the Ministry now, work could wait for another five minutes. This was more important.

"I'm sorry love. I know we haven't properly seen each other in a while."

"That's not what I'm worried about, bunny. You're working too much."

"I could say the same for you, Rem." You pointed out softly. You didn't want to come off as a hypocrite since you also were always busy.

"I'm fine, bunny. It's you that is wearing herself out."

"You don't have to worry about me, I'm fine. Huffing, you rolled your eyes at his apprehensive nature even though he couldn't see you.

"You know I do."

"I love you and I miss you." You confessed changing the subject. You were afraid the distance between you cause by your crazy schedules would eventually drive you apart. So, every time you could even if it was out of the blue, you did this. It was both for reassuring him but for yourself as well.

"The feeling is mutual, my love." Hearing him saying it back had an instant soothing effect.

"I'll see you soon, hun."

You ended the phone call after wishing him a good day and him doing the same. Sighing you put your phone away, your mood souring further as you made your way to your office where you were going to spend the entirety of your day while you only wanted to be with him.

Work was important to you and you knew that Remus shared this same attitude but at the same time, you knew that if it got down to it, you'd choose the sweet-hearted werewolf over anything else.

Making a mental note to speak to your superior about your weekly schedule, you'd settled behind your desk (not so) ready to face today's workload.

*+* *+* *+*

When you finally made it home, later that day, you were ready to bid today adieu. Sighing heavily, you closed the door behind you, the keys rattling as you locked it.

The hallway was dark but you could see that the light in the kitchen was on.  You were light on your feet as you headed there since you didn't know if Remus was awake or he had just forgotten to close it.

When you entered the room though, the sight that met you made you halt. Your eyes flickering all over the room as you took it in. The light had been left on purposefully. The table was laid, carefully set with your favourite pieces, a couple of candles and a few rose petals adorning it.

Realizing that this was most definitely Remus' doing, you smiled as your eyes moved over the room to look for him. But he wasn't in the kitchen.

"Rem?" you called for him softly as you stepped into your small living room. And here he was, snoring softly on the sofa.

Kneeling, you smiled as you took in his peaceful expression. This alone, his angelic face and comforting presence alone would have been enough to soothe your frustrations.

Carefully, you pushed a piece of hair away from his eyes before your finger gently trailed over the scars on his face. He looked exhausted and your heart ached at the idea of waking him up but you knew he had tried to do something nice for you so you wanted to at least thank him for that. Also, the sofa is fucking uncomfortable.

"Baby," shaking his shoulder gently while peppering his face with small kisses you set to draw him for his slumber.

He groaned at the disturbance but you saw the moment he registered that it was you who was annoying him as he turned his head so that your lips could meet his instead of his cheek.

"Hi, bunny," he peeked at you through his lashes, eyes still unfocused with sleep as he pecked you again.

"Hi," you parroted him like a fool. He had always had this effect on you, even more so now that he looked out-of-this-world cute with his tousled curls and red lips.

He mirrored your smile, leaning in your hand that was cradling his face enjoying your touch. As sleep slowly unclouded his mind, the realisation settled on him. Eyes wide, he shot up almost knocking his forehead with yours.

"The dinner," he exclaimed, cheeks red in embarrassment as he looked at you sheepily.

"I saw. It was very sweet of you Rem but you didn't have to." Rising, you settled beside him on the sofa to reassure him.

"I wanted to do something nice for you but of course I had to ruin everything," he groaned letting his head fall on the headrest of the sofa with his face hidden behind his hands.

"Hey," leaning over him, you gently pulled his hands away, " you didn't ruin anything. I love it and I love you for doing this." You kissed his palm to drive your point home.

"You're just as tired as I am, honey."

He knew you were right. He was just as exhausted but still, he was upset that he hadn't been able to do this for you. Letting out a big breath, he used the hand you were holding to pull you to him. Kissing you gently he settled his forehead on yours, intertwining your fingers.

"I had even baked a cake," he mumbled on your lips.

"Well, why don't we eat that and then go to sleep? What do you say?" you proposed pecking his lips again.

"I say that I love you."

Giggling you lightly bumped his nose with yours before rising from the sofa to retrieve the dessert.

When you came back with the plates in your hands, his slice twice bigger than yours, you handed him his before taking your place beside him again.

"So, how was your day?" He asked before digging in,

"Not as good as this cake, for sure." You let out an obscene moan to prove your point but you knew it did well for his ego judging by the look in his eyes.

He thanked you for the compliment with the most adorable shade of pink adorning his cheeks. You cooed at him before asking him the same question.

It wasn't much, just the two of you sharing this insanely good cake Remus made but it was exactly what he needed after a pretty shitty week.

[nevenabadr]

Sebastian Stan X Reader, Leather Love, Prologue

This is a prologue to Leather Love!

Note: English is not my first language.

Inspiration: this is inspired by:

· Bliss, a novel about a magical baker.

· A Dash of Magic, a novel about a magical family of bakers

Word count: 2003

Warnings: Romance, fluff, sweet words, and few explicit words

Enjoy reading and please comment with your feedback. 🖤

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You and Sebastian met at the Met Ball, an annual fundraising gala for the benefit of the Metropolitan, and you were their choice for creating the patisserie masterpieces for the evening.

As for Sebastian, the gala was enjoyable till the moment he was running away from the press.

Also, you were running away from the pressure of catering for your foremost important event of the season.

At the calmest corner of the hotel. You sat calming yourself down speaking to yourself, "I am seven stars rated Baker. One of the best around the world."

Little did you know that someone was taking a few steps and heading to that same calming place.

You were so close when you noticed that man lighting a cigarette "want one?"

He smiled at you.

"You know, that could kill you." You frowned.

"Better than anxiety" he scrunched his nose.

Smocking was something you tried once or twice for fun but never thought of as a tool for calming your nerves.

"I am Y/N by the way."

"Sebastian" he extended a hand to shake yours

You did not rush to tell him you know him and his works. You are a fan, but you still respect that he is already anxious.

"Can I ask, what are you so anxious about?" You calmly asked.

"Too many cameras, I am used to them, but I needed a moment for myself too."

You smirked "A fellow introvert, are not you?"

"Maybe," he giggled and kept smocking, "I did not get your name?"

"Your/F&L/Name, please to meet you, Sebastian." You smiled softly and noticed stars in his eyes.

"Are not you the owner of Bliss, the antique-styled bakery café in New York?" His voice was jammed with excitement.

It surprised you to be personally recognised by a star. It is always the brand that gets the enthusiasm, not you.

"Yes, in the flesh," you shrugged.

He was excited as a child just found his favourite lost toy "I love your patisserie. I even treat myself from Bliss each Sunday."

You were excited that he likes what you serve. "Have you tried our coffee?"

He hesitated "I am a Starbucks guy, sorry."

You laugh "even I, a Starbucks girl, just don't tell my workers." You winked.

"Well, look, I should prepare my surprise for the evening."

The cigarette was almost finished, and the conversation was not over, so as you started walking away, he called you back "Y/A, can I ask you for a favour."

You turned, "anything, Sebastian,"

"Can I take a VIP tour? That special thing, for me, please." He asked with puppy eyes.

He seems to be still nervous about going into the crowd. He is in the sport because of his new PR company. Adding, his ex-girlfriend fame and breakup impact was hard, especially the buzz all over Tumblr. He could not be around the media at that moment.

"Alright, come along, but no cameras or sharing my secrets." You seriously ordered

Indeed, that VIP tour was in a crowded kitchen. Everyone is busy creating a piece of heaven.

"There you are," a young man ran to you. His face draws worrying emotions and anger.

"Frank, what's wrong?"

"It is 30 minutes to delivery."

Frank started walking by your side, describing something that was going wrong and you pointed "we have time"

It surprised Sebastian that Frank did not even notice him. There in the kitchen, you were the star to be followed and the boss to be obeyed.

"Sebastian, I need you to put on gloves and follow my lead"

It surprised him to take orders now

"Frank, you go being the rest of the cupcakes, I am preparing the icing myself."

As Frank left, you give Sebastian an explanation "my staff got something wrong, I have 30 minutes to icing 500 cupcakes."

"This is better than expected. I would love to help." His soothing voice calmed down your anxiety.

He took off his jacket. He looked stunning in everything, as you thought to yourself.

He was laughing and motivating everyone around him "coming people there is a Gala to conquer."

You were icing the side of the cupcake by side, forgetting how exhausting it was to do all of this work in a short time, yet the joy on his face made this worthwhile.

"I don't remember having this much fun in my life," he was icing a chocolate cupcake

"Are you sure this is your first time?" You said playfully

"I don't even know how to cook," he shrugged, "maybe, you can teach me."

The icing went well, but both of you stayed talking and he ignored the time

"Oh, look at the time, I have a to attend that dinner."

He was fixing his clothes and hair, running too fast out of the kitchen. "Thank you Y/A."

You wish for him to stay longer, as he made this chore easier for you, at least mentally.

As he was rushing out "can I book you for a private lesson? A date maybe?"

"I thought you would never ask." Giving him your private card and going back to your staff.

The next morning, he woke up thinking of how alive he felt around Y/A. He juggled her card between his fingers, thinking whether or not to call her. He settled on calling her after mid-day or at lunch.

He took a shower and got prepared for his morning run. It is never too late for one.

He took his usual route of running passing by the Bliss, something made him stop and look for her. Maybe you were tired from all her work, but it is Sunday and he deserves his weekly treat.

Behind the counter there you were, beautiful as he remembers her from the night before.

"May, I have a cupcake please,"

You were busy talking and giving instructions to one of her staff members, yet a familiar voice turned her head "Why not trying the Bakery choice of the day?"

"If the baker herself agrees, then I am sold." He flirted.

"On the house, sir,"

You served him English cake with coffee at his table.

He stood up when you approached "oh God! You brought it yourself!" he tried to give her a hand and serve himself at the table.

"Anything for my favourite guest." You smiled as did not sit.

He was puzzled and clueless "Y/A, wait."

"Anything else?" You smirked at him.

"Will you go out with me tonight, please?" He used the charm of his puppy eyes again.

"I would love to." You glowed.

Later that day, he texted

Sebastian: You did not take my number! 🧁

Y/A: Sebastian, hey, thank you! 🙏🏻

Sebastian: tonight, when and where?

Y/A: Sushi, maybe???

Sebastian: I was thinking of an Italian fancy restaurant, gotta impress the girl. 🤷🏻‍♂️

Y/A: Not this one lolz. Just anything you like. Surprise me.

Sebastian: Fancy, it will be!

Y/A: next time, I am choosing.

Sebastian: there will be next time, huh? 😉

Y/A: haha, I've got to go. Sunday means work.

Sebastian: see ya tonight.

At your house, you are confused about what to wear.

"It is a fancy date with a handsome man that happens to be a star" you were worried, every ex you had was not even close to Sebastian's sweetness. You know that there is always a catch. This time, it might be you and your busy schedule.

You texted him your address. He arrived before his time with ten minutes holding flowers at your door.

He was dressed in a slim fit navy suit without a tie.

"You look beautiful," he complimented your little black dress and heels.

The dinner went well. Both if shared stories from your past, trying to make a career, and how hard the world is becoming.

"Baking is great but applying for investment is hellish," you discussed the situation with coming at the top.

"Your food should be decorated with prizes. I believe you won many."

He teased, as he knew that you were part of a reality show for bakers.

"It was a phase, now this is the real world." You exhaled gloomily.

Your phone ringing cut off your conversation. You excused him for taking this call.

You left the table, yet, arriving with a miserable 10 minutes later.

"Is everything okay?" He nervously asked.

You looked down at your food "I am sorry, Sebastian, I have to go"

You were anxious and irritated

"What's wrong?" He tried to soothe you.

"My angel investor is having a party. He needs me to prepare the cakes and cookies by myself." You were about to cry.

"Okay, you are pressures." He smirked playfully, trying to change your mood.

"He needs them tomorrow by noon." You asserted upon the last word.

"See, I was going to ask you to teach me, so why not today,"

He called for the check.

Sebastian drove you back to your bakery. It was almost empty by that time. Just two workers and you took Sebastian to the kitchen.

You prepared the ingredients on the counters. Sebastian asked if he can help with getting the blenders and mixing bowls. You pointed at a higher shelf opposite to you.

"Thank you, Sebastian," you were about to leave his car.

"Not yet, doll, we have cookies to prepare," he said as the cute dork he is.

You were guiding him to which thing is to add to the blender first and he was a curious student.

"Exactly, why are you hand blending that?" Pointing at the chocolate mixture in front of you.

"Because we make these with a dash of magic and bliss," you spook magically and seriously.

He paused for a moment "and I am not magic"

You raised an eyebrow, "you are my apprentice, yet, hand blend the cookies."

You came by his side, your chest at his back, and guided his arm to hand to blend the cookies.

He was blazing with fire and excitement. Ultimately, he felt at peace.

“An excellent exercise to those guns.” He teased you.

"Not as a baker's," you guided his free hand to something, "now take a pinch of magic... chocolate chips and add them."

Both of you rounded up and finished everything was in the oven. You sat on the floor drinking wine and chatting further, till the alarm of the oven called it done.

"My cookies" Sebastian pulled them out of the over, "taste what the master baked."

"Apprentice," you asserted as you pulled your cakes out of the other oven.

You let everything rest. It was almost the morning.

"They will come I pick them at 9 am, no time for home." You yawned

"Can I drive you?" He yawned too, and his eyes were sleepy.

"Cookie, you looked exhausted." It was the first time to call him so, he was surprised and delighted.

"I have a coach in my office."

Both of you laid tired and exhausted from the long day. Spontaneously he put a kiss on your forehead, you whispered at his lips "I have a better one" you took his lips on your own and shared the sweetest romantic first kiss.

"Sweet dreams, apprentice Cookie." You laid to sleep in his arms.

"Sweet dreams Y/A." He smiled against your lips and laid a kiss goodnight on them.

Yet, Sebastian had to make the last thing before he sleeps.

Guys, I made cookies

That was his message to the group chat with his best friends.

Chris: cookies, is that's a new term for sex?

Anthony: WTH @Cheis. If Sebastian mentions cookies, then he really made cookies.

Sebastian: I baked cookies

Christ: good for you, pal.

Anthony: you are waking me up at 6 in the morning for cookies.

Sebastian: and a kiss.

Anthony: my man, you should have gone for the pussy 💪🏻

Chris: language!

Sebastian: Good night oldie issues and smarty pants. 🤣🤣🤣

Sebastian looked at your peaceful face, laid another kiss on your forehead, then departed into a deep sleep.

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Tag list:

@shafverani

@imsebastiansta-n

@brokenwitty

@221bshrlocked (awaiting your feedback)

@sinner-as-saint

@zemosimp05

@buckys-fairy

[spookybias]

ᝰ frozen ideals | park sunghoon ˎˊ˗

paring: park sunghoon x gender neutral! reader

genre: slice of life ─ fluff, slight angst

content: idol! sunghoon x figure skater! reader, more than friends but less than lovers au, i ramble a bit about what a home is.

synopsis: sunghoon revisits the ice rink, and after seeing you, begins to have doubts on what he really wants in life.

word count: 2.7k

note: this only took a couple of days, so it’s not my best work. i kind of overdid it i guess? this was supposed to be short, but i just couldn’t stop. i also cried while writing a couple of paragraphs of this lol. one more thing, i’m not the best with endings, so i’m not sure if you guys will understand it. it is happy, though.

SUNGHOON DIDN'T VISIT THE ICE RINK AS OFTEN AS HE BEFORE. During his figure skating career, he was often at the ice rink at least 3-4 times a week. Sometimes before school hours, other times after school hours, and many times during school hours. If he thought his life as a professional figure skater was busy, his belief had changed once advancing from trainee to applicant to contestant, and finally, to idol.

Sunghoon’s time was divided between training, schoolwork, competitions, and every now and then, interviews.

His schedule was now made up of all the tasks of a predebut idol. There were photoshoots, interviews, and vocal and dance practices to attend. His free time was given away, -but only out of love for his fans- to sudden vlive sessions and random social media updates. he rarely ever had time to himself nowadays, as even what was left after all of his daily routines and weekly events was often used to eat, freshen up, and rest. And none of this would compare to the schedule that was to come once him and the boys made their debut.

There were times where he thought back to his days on the ice; what would life be like if he hadn’t quit figure skating?

It had been a long time since he had visited the ice rink, and while all the other boys used their one free day off in a while to visit their family back home, or to hang out with their old friends at their favorite place, Sunghoon found himself back at the ice rink. But who’s to say that this favorite place of his that he spent many times at alone, wasn’t his home?

Home isn’t where you live. No, that was your apartment, your house, your condo or your space at the shelter, maybe even the streets. Home is the place that provides you with a sense of security, an overwhelming amount of happiness, a much more avaliable version of cloud 9. Even when you’ve been there twenty times in one week, forty times in one month, the place still feels like a new visit each time. That’s a home.

Often, it isn’t what you do at said place that makes it a home. It’s the safe space founded by the very things about that place that make you happy. The angle at which the lights hit, the background noise that boasts behind you when you’re having fun, the people inhabiting the environment. All these things still feel new, but recognizable every time you visit.

This was the case for Park Sunghoon. You were his safe space.

The ice rink was nearly empty except for you, your coach, and the advisor who kept watch to make sure there weren’t any mishaps in the rink. This wasn’t meant to be a private meeting. You almost always arrived as soon as the rink opened, and so there were never really people there.

Sunghoon had shown up out of the blue after waking up with a sudden urge to visit the rink. It wasn’t until he stood in the seating area, looking over the frost, did he realize how much he missed. He remembered the goosebumps that grazed his skin when the chilly air hit his bare arms and the numb feeling you get on your butt when you land on it after falling back.

He longed for it all, but maybe not enough to quit his new career.

You noticed the lanky boy outside the rink after landing a toe loop. You were a skater, sure, but you weren’t the most coordinated one. You had often made it to competitions with Sunghoon, but you wouldn’t ever make it as far as he did. Still, you loved ice skating, and you would only get better.

That being said, you hadn’t gotten better just yet and were easily distracted. Skidding to a halt, you cheerfully waved to Sunghoon. “Hi, Hoonie!” That meant your eyes were off the cracking ice in front of you, and you tripped, flying forward.

Sunghoon rushed out onto the ice, panic gracing his features. He was accustomed to the ice, and carefully but quickly made it to you in his converse.

“____, are you okay?” Sunghoon didn’t wait for an answer, wrapping one of your arms around his neck and hoisting you up bridal style. “I haven’t seen you in months, and when I finally do I cause an accident.” He shook his head.

You chuckled at his self-disappointment. You waited for him to put you down on the bleachers before telling him, “It wasn’t that big of a deal Sunghoon. I’ve fallen hundreds of times. Ninety out of a hundred of those times, you weren’t there to help me.”

“If it was no big deal, then why did you need me to carry you off the ice?”

You smiled mockingly, eyes shut tight and lips pressed together, a compressed smile at its finest. “I didn’t. I just wanted a free ride.”

Sunghoon shook his head, laughing. His laugh was light like a feather, quiet like a baby’s snore. “You always were lazy,” He replied jokingly.

“Hey! I’ve been practicing really hard! Someone has to take your place, remember? And you’re not here to coach me anymore.”

It was true. After word got around that the Park Sunghoon had quit his career as a professional figure skater, everyone in you guys’ age range seemed to be fighting to be known as the best. For awhile, Sunghoon offered you tips and techniques for mastering his most known tricks. You were someone dear to him, and even when you guys were competing against each other, he secretly hoped you’d do better than him.

The young boy only got busier, though, and could no longer help you train.

“____!” You were snapped out of your conversation by your coach, Eunkyung. She walked up to the two of you. The way she eyed Sunghoon -a look of disbelief mixed with digust- made you gulp. “Stop fooling around. He isn’t here to train you anymore, therefore, he’s wasting valuable time.”

You knew how Eunkyung felt towards Sunghoon. She had dreams of making it as big as him when she was the same age, but couldn’t due to financial situations. Seeing someone who had everything she wanted in a figure skating career give it all up irked her soul. She had openly voiced her opinions on Park Sunghoon to you and the other trainees.

“Please, Eunkyung.” You begged in a low voice, but Sunghoon could still hear. Something about you begging Eunkyung to let him stay made his heart flutter. “We hardly see each other anymore. I really missed him.”

That was it. Sunghoon’s ears were suddenly on fire. When had you gotten so bold?

“Fine. Thirty minutes. Don’t expect another break today because this is the only one you’ll be getting.” Eunkyung walked off muttering something about ungrateful teens and the next competition being in three weeks.

You began to move from the bench Sunghoon had dropped you off at, but immediately sat back down, a hiss escaping your lips.

“You said you were fine.” Sunghoon placed a protective hand on your shoulder, as if the pain was a person making their way towards you.

“I am fine.” You stared out onto the ice trying to wiggle out the static shooting through your leg.

“That isn’t the kind of sound people make when they’re fine, ____. I’ll get Eunkyung.”

“No.” Your voice was firm. “It’s just a cramp, Sunghoon. You know figure skaters get cramps.”

Sunghoon stood quietly, looking down at you, but you avoided eye contact. “Okay.”

“I get them a lot. Eunkyung says it’s because I don’t stretch enough beforehand. We used to stretch together, remember? But you’re not here anymore so I forget.” The statement sounded more spiteful than you intended.

Sunghoon wondered if you were mad at him, and hiding your anger with fake excitement towards seeing him again. Did you secretly wish that he had never come back?

You kept bringing up the past and reminding him that he wasn’t around anymore. It was times like these where he questioned what he really wanted.

The two of you sat in silence. Just basking in each other’s existence was enough. That’s what was so mesmerizing about your friendship. Sometimes all the two of you did was sit next to each other, and it felt like so much fun.

“It’s been awhile, huh, ice prince?” You broke the silence and smiled playfully. “Did you miss me?” Your tone was teasing when you asked, but deep down you knew that if the answer was no your heart would shatter.

Sunghoon didn’t bother to even fight back. “Yeah, I did.” He liked it when you called him ice prince. It could get him to admit anything. It could even make him admit he was in love with you, but you didn’t need to know that.

“You never text me anymore.” He couldn’t figure out if it was a normal statement or a sad one. “I know you’re busy, though.” He exhaled being grateful for that add-on. “What’s it like?”

“I love it.” Sunghoon simply stated. You hardly even finished asking the question when he had answered. “It’s a lot of work, and sometimes I can’t believe I made it, but I love it.”

“You love Jake especially too, right?” You teased.

Sunghoon rolled his eyes. “Shut up.”

“You know I’m kidding,” You shook your head, laughing. Sunghoon missed hearing your laugh. The audio recordings from old videos of you two together just weren’t enough for him anymore.

“You know you’re the only…” Sunghoon trailed off and looked away. Talking about his feelings for you was difficult for him. It was difficult for you too. You didn’t need him to finish his sentence. Of course, you often needed reassurance that you hadn’t been replaced, but just the first few words of his statement were enough. You knew what he meant.

He was the only one for you too.

“Do you think what I’m doing is right?” Sunghoon suddenly questioned. For some reason he was holding back a sob, and he wasn’t sure why.

You stared at a scrape in the ice for a moment, before finally turning to the boy of your dreams. “Yes.” You nodded your head, smiling. “I watch your vlives and read your interviews and I retweet all your photos and cheer on all your moments.”

A single tear slipped down your cheek. You were happy for Sunghoon, but it hurt that he was doubting his desires after a long time of trying to prove himself.

You continued, “Sometimes my friends tell me I’m whipped, but I’m just really happy for you, Hoonie. So please don’t doubt yourself.”

Sunghoon was glad that only one tear had escaped. He didn’t want you to cry over him. “There are days where I try to imagine what life would be like if I was still here. Skating with you and everyone else.”

You replied almost instantly. “Well stop imagining those things. You’re not here anymore. You can’t let what you thought you wanted interfere with what you really want. You didn’t leave anyone or anything behind. It’s not like you forgot about this place. We still love you, and we’re rooting for you and always have been. You spent so long trying to prove yourself to everybody. Don’t let those years be in vein. If you quit, I swear I’ll-”

“I’m not going to quit.” Sunghoon stopped you. “If you’re proud of me, then I must be doing the right thing.”

You let out a breath and smiled, turning away from the boy once again. “Ideals change, ice prince. You’re allowed to change.”

Sunghoon looked over at you, noting how you avoided eye contact. He found it really cute. “Thank you, ____.” The two of you shared a smile, and then Sunghoon looked down to your left leg. “How is it? Is the cramp gone?”

You stood up, wiggled your left foot, and hopped on your left leg for good measure. “Yep! Think we can go around the rink for a bit before my break is up?”

Sunghoon’s cheeks turned pink. “Are you asking me out?”

You tightened your laces and laughed. “I would never."

SUNGHOON SKATED BESIDE YOU. This wasn’t a date. Despite your hands clasped together tightly but comfortably and the statements shared between the two of you earlier, you and Sunghoon were not a thing. The two of you were just a couple of friends who almost had something due to your shared interest and quiet bonding. You loved each other and it wasn’t complicated, but it was uncharted territory neither of you were ready to enter.

You skidded to a stop. “I’ve been practicing really hard,” You told Sunghoon again. You skated circles around him. “Eunkyung says that with a couple more months of training, I can make it farther than you ever did.”

“Is that a threat?” Sunghoon began following after you, the two of you facing each other, skating sideways to form a small circle around the spot you guys had just been standing in.

“Yes, it is.” You stuck your tongue out at him. “But seriously. It’s so much work ‘cause you’re known for doing the most.” You rolled your eyes, remembering the countless laps Eunkyung made you skate around the ice rink. You brightened up when you remembered something else. “I’ve been getting a lot better at salchows, though, which we all know I am terrible at. Look.”

Sunghoon watched in amazement as you skated around the rink, performing salchows over and over again. Your landings were a little slopping, but you could easily fix that.

“I wanna show you something else before you go.” Suddenly Sunghoon remembered that he had to leave soon, as your break would be up, and he had to see his mother in a bit. He followed you out the ice rink.

You opened your backpack, which Sunghoon had just now noticed was left out on the bleachers. He would have to remind you not to do that. If the rink got crowded, someone could steal your stuff. You pulled out a black notebook and handed it to Sunghoon.

He opened the notebook, puzzled at the lines and numbers all over the pages along with little doodles. However, his confusion went away once he realized that the little doodles were diagrams of figure skating tricks, and the lines and numbers all matched up to physics calculations.

“After you left, I honestly forgot a lot of your tips. It was hard using your methods without you being around to coach me.” You looked down at your hands. “I take physics in school, so I’ve been using it to help me with figure skating.”

Sunghoon was in awe. In his mind, he had been selfish to keep wishing he could be back at the rink just to help you. If he had stayed, he would just be stopping you from finding your own techniques, from realizing your full potential. He now realized that he didn’t have to keep worrying about if you were okay. You were doing just fine without him, and although that thought would be negative to most, Sunghoon was proud of you.

“____, this is amazing.”

“You don’t think it’s nerdy?”

“Of course not. You’re a genius,” Sunghoon stated. The embarrassment that had just filled your senses was quickly replaced by fluster. “Um, thanks, Hoonie.”

The two of you continued to flip through the book together, you pointing out tiny notes that you wanted Sunghoon to see, and him asking questions and nodding his head in intrigue. Sunghoon flipped to the most recent diagram, and examined the page.

“What’s this?” Sunghoon pointed to a diagram of a trick he had never seen before.

“Oh! Eunkyung says that if I want to stand out I should combine a couple of moves and form my own tricks, and name them something cool. I need to show the judges how I stand out from the other contestants.” You looked over the page, and caught a small note in your handwriting. Suddenly feeling nervous, you tried to change the subject. “Uh, why don’t we skate some more.”

Sunghoon glanced at you before scanning the page once more. And then he saw it. The diagram was a mix of a salchow and a toe loop, two moves Sunghoon was very much known for perfecting. Under the diagram were two words that made Sunghoon’s heart flutter.

Ice Prince.

[ruewrites]

Building Home

AO3

WBT

Ship: Solomon/Asmodeus

Word Count: 2000

Warnings: None

A/N: I cannot begin to describe how happy I am to kick off Solodeus Week by bringing back WBT once again. I've been hella pumped since I saw college AU. (Do I project a little bit onto this AU? Oh definitely. No question.) But hey! I hope you guys enjoy! Comments are appreciated <3 Stay tuned for more content for Solodeus Week! (I did a combination of the two prompts for day 1)

Asmo plopped on top of one of the larger boxes taking up space in the small living room. This was temporary, just somewhere to stay for the next couple of years. It felt odd moving to such a tiny place after living in the big house he'd been in for years with his brothers. It seemed too quiet to him, even with neighbors just across the hall. He never thought he'd come to miss their noise, yet here he was. How were they doing? Did they miss him? Lucifer said he would always have a place to stay no matter where either of them ended up, but would he really? He wasn’t that far away from them, and yet hours felt like forever. Homesickness krept into his stomach, and just like on the car ride here, tears started to prick at his eyes.

He never imagined he could feel like this.

Excited to start his new life with Solomon, but sad to leave his old one behind.

The remaining rays of sunlight crept through the window and glinted off of his engagement ring. Creating tiny fireflies dancing across the walls of the room. Delicate fingers moved around the band, shifting it back and forth. He'd gotten used to playing with the ring, shifting it back and forth in his fingers and playing with the gemstone in the center.

A huff and a final box dropping to the floor brought Asmo's attention back to the doorway. Solomon brushed his hands off and smiled up at him before joining him. He pecked his lips so sweetly, brushing his thumb along his cheek catching a few of the tiny tears on his way.

"Welcome home."

"It feels more like a box kingdom or a warehouse to me," Asmo murmured, glancing over at the mountains of boxes spread over what would be their living space. This certainly didn't look like home, and Asmo wasn't sure when it would start feeling like it either. Especially since it was temporary in the grand scheme of things.

There was still so much to do.

Returning their rental first thing in the morning.

Unpacking all of their boxes.

Putting everything away.

Introducing themselves to the neighbors. What would their neighbors even think of them? A young couple moving in next door, engaged right out of their undergrad, unsure of what their future holds...

It would be at least a day or two before they got it all done, and the very idea made Asmo ache. There was so much more Asmo wanted to be doing with their time together before Solomon's coursework started up and before his internship really kicked off. They were both going to be so busy soon and the uncertainty that came with not entirely knowing what these new experiences would be like had his stomach churning.

And it was all so much for temporary.

"But it's our box kingdom."

"That doesn't make me feel better Solomon."

Solomon chuckled and kissed him before moving over to look at the boxes, "Well, maybe you'll feel a little better after a full night's rest. Do you remember which box we put our bedding in?"

A full night's rest. That was rich coming from his fiance who couldn't start a healthy sleep schedule to save his life. The only thing that ever made it better was the promise of Asmo being in bed to come cuddle up next to, and even that was debatable when finals week rolled around. The man lived on coffee and shots of espresso. Now that he was in a graduate program, Asmo would be working double time to make sure Solomon balanced school and everything else in his life in a healthy manner.

Asmo hopped off of the box he'd claimed and started to help going through the boxes. He'd had luck finding pans, lights, picture frames, but no bedding. Not even a blanket. Part of him worried they overlooked packing any, but the more rational side of him remembered how picky he'd been about buying a set. There was no way he forgot it. He would never, ever, forget something so essential to his sleep routine. But that would just be his luck wouldn’t it? He wasn’t feeling great and the universe wanted to make him feel even worse. Both he and Solomon stood over the final box, neither one making a move to open it.

"Solomon."

"Mhm?"

"If it's not in here I'm going to cry."

"Yeah-"

"That is a threat, not a promise."

"Oh I'm aware."

Solomon knelt down and started peeling off the tape keeping the moving box sealed. Asmo's heart raced with each passing moment. It had to be in there. It just had to be in there. Finally, the tape snapped back and the box popped open and fluffy pillows sprung forth, propelled by the blankets and comforters beneath.

Oh Asmo could have cried out in relief right there. The move had been stressful enough without the fear that they hadn't gotten everything. He took the soft sheets in his own hands and held them close. He would have a comfortable place to sleep tonight. He wouldn't have to pester his brothers to drop off bedding. His brothers wouldn't be able to make fun of him for forgetting bedding. That was the last thing he needed to add to the stresses of moving in.

But on the other hand, if he had forgotten them, he’d be able to see them.

Solomon tugged on the blanket before nudging up against Asmo’s shoulder. “You know… The living room is a lot closer than the bedroom,” he said, “Do you know what I’m thinking?”

Asmo chuckled and moved away from him, “I’m your fiance not a mind reader dearest.”

Solomon’s kisses were always wonderful no matter where he placed them. Warmth spread from his cheek throughout the rest of him as Solomon’s lips made contact with his skin. He felt some of his anxieties leave him right there. Oh how Asmo adored this man.

“Well,” Solomon’s arms came around him, his lips close to his ear, “I was thinking about when we were kids. How we always had the best sleepovers. We’d sneak snacks from the kitchen, stay up past our bedtime, watch movies we weren’t supposed to-”

He allowed the sentence to trail off, and when Asmo looked at him he saw the hopeful little glint in his eye. Their long history together was special, and their weekly sleepovers were no exception. It didn't matter the weather, who's house or what they planned on doing. As long as they were together, they were guaranteed to have the best of times. Asmo could leave him hanging. He could decide to not finish his train of thought and to pretend he didn’t remember. But he couldn’t be that cruel. So instead he pecked Solomon’s lips.

They were sappy.

But Asmo liked it that way.

“And we made the most amazing pillow forts,” he finished.

“Exactly.”

Asmo spun out from his arms so he could face him properly, “We have work to do and you want to procrastinate to build a fort? For shame my darling. For shame.”

He gave him what he wanted. Now he had to tease his fiance. It wasn't something to question. It was mandatory.

“And you’re saying that you don’t want to have a pillow fort and relive our fun childhood days Mr. Morningstar? Days when we didn’t have to worry about being adults or doing adult things?” Solomon followed after him for getting about the blanket and grabbing at his waist once more, “I don’t think you should be shaming me.”

"Being an adult isn't all that bad, we still get to play house," Asmo let his head rest against Solomon, coaxing him into swaying with him for a moment.

"Playing house never involved rent, or work, or real college classes."

"True," certain parts of adult life did suck, "But we can also do fun things like get married and move in together."

"And make pillow forts?"

Asmo smiled, "And make pillow forts. I suppose."

Even if it was full of boxes, this place was home. Well, that wasn't entirely true now was it? Home wasn't just any place he moved into. Home was wherever Solomon was. This place wouldn't be home if Solomon wasn't here. He was home, and Asmo would follow him anywhere. A house was empty without him and the bed would always be cold. He brought life and color into the rooms he walked in.

Solomon was comfort.

Solomon was belonging.

Solomon was the drive and encouragement that Asmo needed in his life.

"In that case, can we make a pillow fort before my classes start?"

Asmo tilted his head, as if thinking over the possibility. They did always have fun making them, even if they needed help from time to time.

The packed boxes did have one perk after all. They served as the pillars of their little kingdom, standing tall and proud above the couple. Pillows outlined their forms as their limbs were tangled together, blue light from their phones casting light shadows over their faces.

Solomon tucked a stray strand of hair behind his ear and Asmo leaned into his touch. "Isn't this fun?" Solomon's voice sent a shiver through him. His voice was warm and smooth, it was something that Asmo would never tire of, not for as long as he lived. "It's just you and me, in our own little kingdom."

Asmo nodded as he let out a soft hum in agreement.

This was comfortable. This was familiar. The soft beat of Solomon's heat lulled Asmo into security. It was gentle, consistent, and Asmo's guidance.

"Asmodeus," Solomon's grip tightened, "I promise, I'll do everything in my power to make this place home."

Asmo's hand moved up to Solomon's cheek and his thumb slowly moved along his milky skin. Solomon loved him. Solomon truly and honestly loved him. No conditions, no second thoughts. That love was all he needed.

He was afraid, he was unsure what the future would bring. He knew that their lives would keep changing and moving along, that they were still going wherever they were taken, but he did have Solomon.

Solomon, his wonderful fiance.

Solomon, his constant morning star.

Solomon, his meaning.

Solomon, his rock.

Solomon, the man who would do anything for him and have his back no matter what.

One day they would live together in a nice house, they'd both be successful, they wouldn't have to worry about what came next. But for now home brought him here, and home was staring back at him with big grey eyes. He was right where he belonged surrounded by boxes and a blanket shielding him from the world.

Perhaps Solomon had known how he’d been feeling, maybe he’d been trying to alleviate some of his hope sickness. Perhaps Solomon was feeling homesick himself. Even if he didn’t know, having Solomon around made him feel better. Yes he still missed his family dearly, but they promised to call and visit him. He would see them again. If anything, Lucifer would make sure they had another family gathering.

But now was his time to spread his wings.

Now was his time to start a branch on their family tree.

Now was his time to start building, expanding.

Even if Solomon didn’t know how he was feeling, Asmo still felt safe and at peace in his arms. Memories of popcorn and movie nights and small fairy lights flooding his senses. A worriless past became his present. Years of playing house were finally becoming a reality. Just like then he could share it all with Solomon. His other half, his completion, everything that made his little world good and beautiful.

He was going to be fine.

He was going to be safe.

He was going to be happy.’’

For the first time, Asmodeus learned a word he thought he already knew.

"Solomon, you are my home."

[littlewitchygreen]

Witchcraft in Daily Life

Hi friends! As a follow up to my post Witchcraft for Beginners, another question that I have either been asked frequently or that I have seen other people ask is how to incorporate witchcraft into your daily life. So, I decided to make a post listing some of the ways that I do it, as well as some ways that were suggested to me when I first started out. For those of you interested, the rest of the post is under the page break!

Daily Acts

These are a list of things that can be done each day pretty easily. You don’t have to do all of them (I certainly don’t) but if you are looking for ways to practice more frequently in small ways, then they can help you get started while you are still discovering your own - and feel free to pick and choose what works for you!

Dream Journal I do my best to write down any dreams that I have as soon as I wake up. This can help you remember your dreams better, which can aid in lucid dreaming, oneiromancy (telling the future with your dreams), and other various magics.

Meditation I try my best to meditate at least once a day, if not twice a day, for at least five minutes. I’ve found this to be the easiest one to incorporate into my daily schedule, since even on days that I am busy, I can usually spare five minutes of my time to do this. I tend to do it right before I go to sleep, but if I can do it twice a day, I also do it right after dream journaling.

Divination I try to do some form of divination every day. Since tarot is my main form of divination, I do a one card reading in the mornings to get an idea about what the rest of my day will look like. It doesn’t have to be tarot though - others may scry, use runes, or any other variety of things. Whichever form of divination you enjoy most and/or feel most comfortable with works too!

Clothing Another easy way to incorporate your craft into your daily life is using color magic to pick what clothes you wear. Especially if you are still in the broom closet, this is a simple way to practice without anyone catching on.

Tokens You can also wear or carry crystals, sigils, and/or items around with you to help you with whatever you are doing each day. If you are nervous for a test, bring something with you to either help with nerves or help with memory. If you want a bit of extra luck, carry something lucky. It’s a pretty subtle way to bring magic with you from your home out into the world.

Teas I’ve found that when I drink tea, picking what tea I drink based on its magical and medicinal properties is another easy way to incorporate magic into my daily life. If you have a selection, you can even begin memorizing the properties and correspondences of them as you go. If you stir your tea in different directions, you can also work minor manifestations and banishments with it as well.

Cooking Kitchen magic is a whole branch of the craft that is a very subtle way of practicing - especially if you have to be careful of who knows you practice. By selecting what goes into your meal based on its properties, you can work magic into your life at least three times a day with just this alone!

Candles I find that burning candles based on their colors throughout the day helps me accomplish certain tasks. For example, since I am a writer, I tend to burn blue candles to help my mental clarity. If I’m working on something creative, I tend to burn an orange one. If I want a little extra luck in something I am doing, I tend to burn a green one. It’s a quick and easy way to work a little extra magic into whatever it is that I am doing at the moment.

Prayer If you have a deity or deities that you incorporate into your craft (which not everyone does, and that’s perfectly fine!) then you can also pray to them each night as another way to incorporate your craft into a daily practice. You can also devote acts to them throughout your day, too. The ways to incorporate them into your life is endless, since everyone practices this differently and everyone follows a different deity or deities. This can even be done if you put your faith in the universe itself as a force, your higher self, spirits, or anything else that you wish to communicate with - it doesn’t just have to be a god or gods.

Weekly Acts

There are also some things I do throughout the week that span across the whole week rather than day by day that I thought I could include here too.

Divination I tend to do a reading for the whole week ahead every Sunday, so that I can get a feel for what I should pay attention to each week, and what I should maybe change. It also lets me know what kind of week I’ll be having, so that I can either prepare for it or relax depending on the results.

Ritual I do rituals based on the phases of the moon. Once a week I will do a ritual for either the full moon, new moon, or half moons - though I know people who only work with the new and full moons, and others who work with the quarter phases in addition to the other phases mentioned, so the frequency is up to you.

Grimoire Every week I try to add to my grimoire at least once. Usually, I work on mine on Saturdays, since it helps to have a set day for working on it and learning, as that helps keep things more consistent. If I have the time and feel up to it, I’ll sometimes work on it throughout the week too.

I hope these ideas can be of use to you guys, and as always my asks and DMs are always open for further questions! Best wishes.

[tripleaxeldiaz]

i will learn to love the skies i’m under

read on ao3

It’s been a minute since Eddie has been in such a bad mood.

A bad mood is annoying enough as it is, but this one in particular has been lurking for about a week too long, filtering into every part of his life so that he’s pissed from the minute he opens his eyes in the morning until he’s back in bed at night. 

The worst part of it all is that nothing even happened to set him off in the first place. Chris is back from camp, the 118 has been miraculously tragedy-free recently, he and Buck have even been able to work a few date nights into their endlessly busy schedules. Everything is objectively perfect for the first time in a long time.

But still, these past few days, the very act of being a human has taken so much effort.

He smiles listening to Chris talk about the latest addition to his comic book collection, but he can feel that it doesn’t quite reach his eyes, and he knows he missed a bit in the middle about some big twist when he zoned out to stare at nothing. It takes extra energy to make sure he’s focused during shift, so any socializing in between calls just feels draining. The jokes, the carefree laughs, it all slowly grates on him, his skin itching like it’s trying to slide off his bones. He tries, still, laughs at all the right places, but by the end of the day he’s retreating to the bunks between calls instead of the loft, blaming it on a migraine or sore back when he’s questioned.

He’d had his bi-weekly with Frank shortly after it started, but even he couldn’t offer much help.

“I can prescribe you something if this keeps going on and starts interfering with work or family. Otherwise, try and focus on the positives in your life. It’s easier said than done, but sometimes it makes all the difference.”

So he was trying. He went out for drinks with the team, played with Chris in the backyard, had movie nights, the whole shebang. But everything was just off — he was off. And as much as he tried to act like he was fine, there was still that constant hum just under his skin, a constant reminder that his brain has decided hey man, I know your life is all peaches and cream right now, but that doesn’t mean shit. We’re gonna focus on the bad things instead.

What bad things? Hell if Eddie knows. He can’t focus on one good or bad thing long enough to pinpoint what exactly is making him feel like this. It just seems to be the general cloud of past traumas hanging over his brain, and it’s raining all the residual bad feelings down, and he doesn’t have an umbrella.

He sets his coffee cup down hard (harder than he meant to, really) before sitting down at the table, earning identical eyebrow raises from Hen and Chimney. He sees them look at each other out of the corner of his eye before they turn to him, pushing MCAT practice books out of the way.

“Everything alright, Eddie?” Hen asks, maternal and receptive as ever.

“Fine,” he says tightly, and great, he’s snapping at people now. His energy is so depleted that he can’t even keep his people skills in check.

“We’re here if you need us, man,” Chim says with his reassuring smile. “We won’t even tell Buck about it if you don’t want us to.”

Eddie can’t help smiling at that, though it’s still small. He does want to talk to Buck about it all, of course he does. But Buck has been pulling extra shifts this past week while Ortiz is out with a busted ankle. They’ve barely had a conversation about what groceries to get let alone the fact that Eddie feels completely out of sorts, like he’s screwing up everything he’s normally good at and can’t figure out how to do it right again. And he knows Buck will help him, knows he would want to if he knew, but he keeps convincing himself that he can figure it out on his own, that Buck is so overworked now that he shouldn’t unload any more stress onto him. That, at least, he can still control.

He wishes his brain wasn’t so damn loud.

He sighs, scrubbing a hand across his face as Hen and Chim watch him with matching weariness. “I’m okay guys, I promise. Just been feeling a little off lately.”

Hen smiles sympathetically, reaches across the table to squeeze his wrist. Chim opens his mouth like he’s about to offer his patented sage advice, but he’s quickly cut off by the alarm. They rush to the truck, and Eddie feels just a bit relieved that for at least the next two hours, he’ll be humming with adrenaline rather than baseless uncertainty. He’ll forget the clouds and the rain and focus on saving lives, something he knows he can always do well.

He almost convinces himself that clouds will stay away this time.

~~~~~~~~~~

By the end of shift, Eddie’s whole body feels like lead. The last two calls of the day weren’t even remarkable, but he feels listless and slow, and he’s glad that he can basically drive home by muscle memory now, because the rain is pounding in his brain agan and it’s hard to focus on anything. As he sits in the driveway, willing his body to get up get up get the hell up, he allows himself to slip for a minute. Maybe if he lets some of the rain in, briefly succumbs to the ever brewing storm, it’ll release some of the pressure and it’ll be easier to breathe. Maybe he’ll feel like himself again for the first time in weeks.

10 minutes later, and he’s pretty sure he just feels worse.

He opens the front door and is greeted by darkness and silence. Christopher is at a sleepover, and the first thing he feels when he remembers is relieved, because now he can sit in his dark living room, alone, all night, and see if he’ll feel better if he stews a little longer. Maybe he can work it out of his system in a few hours instead of a few minutes.

He also feels a little guilty that he’s glad his son isn’t around, but he can just add that to all the other bad feelings. Might as well keep fueling the fire, at this point.

As he drops his bag in the entryway, he notices that it’s actually not totally dark in his house. There’s a soft glow coming through the sliding glass doors that lead to the patio, and he’s pretty sure he hears music too now that he’s paying attention. As he makes his way outside, he’s greeted by blankets and every pillow they own set up on the lawn, pad thai containers, and his boyfriend drenched in string lights and moonlight, adjusting the speakers set up around the yard. 

Buck looks up as he hears the door slide closed, smiling brightly, and Eddie swears he can feel the rain lighten up. It’s still there, steady as ever, but the drops aren’t as heavy. Buck meets him at the door, drops a kiss on his cheek, and Eddie’s hands instinctively come up to rest on Buck’s hips.

“What’s all this?” Eddie asks as he continues surveying the yard. “I thought you were working tonight?”

Buck shrugs, his hands grabbing Eddie’s as he steers them to the pillow nest. “Ortiz got cleared for work a few days early, asked for her shifts back. Plus it’s a beautiful night, and I really just wanted to spend it with you.”

He kisses Eddie, warm and sweet, and pulls him down to sit next to him. They start to eat, chatting about everything they’ve missed since they’ve been on opposite shifts, and for a minute, Eddie can almost pretend like everything is normal, like a reset button has been pushed and he can breathe again. He always felt like Buck’s presence and love was a balm for his heart, but it’s moments like these where he’s reminded just how true that actually is.

But as they finish up, lying back and lapsing into comfortable silence, Eddie’s mind starts wandering again. All he wants to do is look at the stars, but the clouds are back, dark as ever, and he doesn’t have the strength to keep fighting them off. He just wants a minute of peace with his boyfriend, that really doesn’t seem like too much to ask.

“You wanna let me know what’s got you all huffy?” Buck asks, his fingers running through Eddie’s hair as his head rests on Buck’s chest. He thought he’d been keeping his irritation in his head. Or maybe he has, and Buck really can read his mind like Eddie’s always suspected he can.

“I’m fine,” he mumbles, and he knows it’s not convincing. Buck doesn’t press though, just kisses the crown of his head and keeps his fingers moving.

And that’s it, for whatever reason. Buck allowing him to just be, not expecting him to put up a front or plaster on a smile. Letting him navigate the storm in his head on his own, silently supportive. No one else has really pried or made him talk either, but with Buck it’s different. Everything is different with Buck. Eddie knows that he can fully lean into himself and Buck won’t think any less of him or ask too much of him. And he’ll be there when he can finally articulate what the hell is going on.

Eddie shifts up, lying on his side so he and Buck are face to face. His eyes flit over Buck’s face, searching for...he’s not sure what. Just taking in the fact that he’s here for Eddie, in every way, and judging by the soft but determined look in his eyes, he doesn’t plan on going anywhere. Eddie closes his eyes, lets out a hard breath through his nose. He feels Buck’s hand come up to rest on his jaw, gentle and grounding.

“Everything just feels...bad. I feel bad. And I have no reason to feel like that, because this is the most solid my life has been in years, but that makes me feel even worse.” Buck’s thumb traces a soothing trail along his skin as he collects his thoughts. “It takes so much of me to function normally and it gets harder and harder every day. People keep asking if I’m fine and I am, I should be, but I don’t know how to say, ‘Things are going great but I still feel like garbage and I can’t stop blaming myself for not being able to be happy.’”

Buck’s hand moves down to Eddie’s waist and tugs, their bodies pressing together, his head resting on top of Eddie’s. Finally being able to put words to the noise in his brain helped, but he still feels the static at the surface of his skin, and everything still feels wrong.

“Honey, it is absolutely not your fault that you’re feeling like this,” Buck whispers as his hands start roaming up and down Eddie’s back. “As much as you try and control your emotions, sometimes we don’t get a say in the bullshit our brain makes up, and it can be hard to tell if it’s lying or not.”

Eddie sighs, feels his throat catch as he tries to talk. “I’m just tired of being mad for no reason. It’s one thing when I know specifically what’s pissing me off, but having it be everything and nothing at the same time is exhausting.”

“Then rest, baby. It’s just you and me now, you don’t have to pretend for me. I’m here for the ups and downs, no matter what.”

Eddie doesn’t know who or what blessed him with a man as good as Buck, but he’ll be paying them back until the day he dies. He’s never had someone he could fully let his guard down around, and now that he does, it’s strange and wonderful, something he hopes he never gets used to and never takes for granted.

He can’t find the words to thank Buck, so he kisses him instead. Long and slow, pouring every once of gratitude he has into it, hoping Buck feels it. He thinks he does as he feels him smile against his lips.

He takes Buck’s advice, shifting back to settle into his chest, lets his body get heavy, tries to force the tension away. Buck’s hands on his back and lips on his forehead help.

He’s not miraculously better, but he feels a little less weary. Left of center instead of all the way off course. The rain is still coming down in his mind, but Buck is there with strong arms, a warm heart, and an umbrella big enough for both of them.

He’ll always be there, Eddie knows that for sure. It makes weathering the storm a little easier.

[monstaxdesires]

The Arrangement (Chapter Seven)

A/N: Huge thank you to @mxflo for being an amazing best friend and wonderful Beta reader. This series means so much to me and she’s been the friend that has allowed me to bounce theories and snippets off of her and given such positive encouragement. 

(Chapter One) (Chapter Two) (Chapter Three) (Chapter Four) (Chapter Five) (Chapter Six)

Shownu’s contract rested on your kitchen counter. Red pen marks littering various pages. You bit your lip, trying to decide if this was something you could really do. The contract had been true to his statements of what he expected and you were okay with must it.

His number was saved in your phone and you knew he would be expecting your call any day now, but you were hesitant. You had been for almost three days now. It was Monday evening which meant it had been three full days of that contract in your possession and no word to him on your position with it.

That same night of having it handed to you by his driver you had poured yourself a nice glass of Pinot Noir and read through it. You were tempted to mark it up straight away but knew reading through it once before taking a red pen to it would be more helpful.

Saturday morning you read it again after an unrestful night of sleep and that was when you had chosen to mark it up. You had been blunt and honest with your questions and what you weren’t comfortable with and what you wanted to add. You knew he would be a little puzzled by it but it was how you felt and he had asked for your honesty.

You pressed his name in your phone before switching it to speaker. He answered on the first ring.

“You actually called.” You bite your lip. “I did.”

“Everything okay?”

You stand and begin slowly pacing across the width of your living room, not able to sit still and do this. “Yes. I, umm, read the contract.”

“Okay.”

You exhale running your free hand through your hair before looking at it. “I marked it up, a lot.” You murmur before quickly continuing, “Are you sure you want to do this with me?”

He chuckles and you can see the little smile on his face already. You close your eyes and try to steady yourself.

“Please don’t laugh at me,” you whisper and he immediately stops. “Shownu… I-I’m lost here.”

“I know,” he says, his tone shifting to one of comfort. “This is why I had planned to have you spend an evening with me to discuss it over dinner before we agreed on a final contract.”

“Okay.”

You hear rustling in the background. “Are you still at work?”

“Yes. I work late most days. Are you home?”

“I am.”

“Good.” He replies and you can imagine him sitting at his desk, stacked high with important business documents, coat jacket hanging off a hook somewhere, the sleeves of his button up rolled up displaying his forearms while he busies working away, the only one remaining in his office building. “I will be out of town for a few days this week. I come back in Friday, what if we have dinner Friday night?”

“Will that be our first dinner in agreement to the rules of the contract?”

He chuckles. “Yeah, sure.”

“Okay, what time and where?”

“6pm and you can pick,” he says. “Listen, I have to go back to work if I plan to leave at a decent hour tonight, but you can call me if you need to reschedule or if you change your mind before Friday, okay?”

“Will do.” You say before hanging up and dropping your phone on the cushion of your couch before going to procure a wine glass and a new bottle of wine.

————-

Your hands were clammy, but you grasped the manila envelope tightly. You knew it would create wrinkles in the papers but you couldn’t help yourself. You were nervous, so nervous.

“Right this way,” the hostess speaks quietly before gesturing for you to walk ahead. “The other member in your party is already waiting for you.”

“Thank you,” you say with a smile towards her.

She takes you down a dimly lit hall before gesturing to a door and then bowing and walking away. You slip in and close the door quickly. Shownu stands as you turn to see him. Your eyes widen at the amount of food already laid out on the table already.

“How long have you been here?”

“Half an hour,” he says taking your hand and guiding you to your seat.

You sit and he pushes your chair in for you before taking his own. You hold the envelope on your lap not sure if you should hand it over.

“Do you mind if we eat first?” He asks. “I missed lunch.”

“No, please,” you gesture to the dishes and he smiles before giving you food first and then himself. “Why did you miss lunch?”

“Meeting.”

“Do you by chance have a pen?” You ask casually.

He pats his jacket pocket before reaching in and pulling out a pen. You take it and duck your head down as you pull out the contract and add a little note. He watches you before you lift your head and push your hair back behind your shoulder. You meet his gaze and he lifts an eyebrow.

“We will discuss it. Please eat.”

“You too.” He says around a mouthful after taking a bite. He points at your plate. You laugh a little before putting his pen down and starting to eat with him.

“This is so good,” you beam and he smiles placing another piece of meat on your plate.

“Eat up.”

“You too.”

He ducks his head, blushing a little before taking another bite.

After you have both had your fill you place the envelope on the table and slide it to him. “My questions are written along with my comments on what I do not agree with and what I would like to add.”

He takes it. His curiosity peeking. You fold your hands in your lap while he takes out the contract. His expression masked from giving you any idea on what he is thinking as he reads it. His eyebrow knit together in concentration and his lips pucker, but no indication to his thoughts. He finishes and puts it down on the table top.

“Where do you want to start?” He asks.

You clear your throat. “The rules?”

He nods. “Which one? You marked a few.”

“Birth control?” You ask, getting right to it. “If you are not expecting anything sexual why is one of your rules for us both to get an STI test and for me to start birth control?”

He clears his throat. “You are correct, I do not expect it, but as a precaution to what could happen.”

Your jaw drops and you freeze.  “I’m sorry?”

“No,” he immediately backtracks. “I meant with someone else you may have in your life. I should have said that better,” he rubs the back of his neck before closing this eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“What do you mean Shownu?”

He opens his eyes and looks at you. “I am sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“You didn’t.”

“Good,” he exhales. “I think it is a good measure to have if you do seek someone else out for comfort. It will prevent our contract from being terminated due to an unexpected… p-pregnancy. To the public you will be my girlfriend and getting pregnant with someone else’s child isn’t ideal.”

You could tell it made him uncomfortable but you needed to know where you both stood and his reasoning made sense now that you knew.

“Fine to the birth control though I don’t think it’ll be needed. But what about the tests?”

“Precautionary, all of my past companions have had the test taken.”

“Okay.” You pull at your sleeves. “The minimum number of hours, how will that work if you are working late often?”

He bites his lip, you and a point. In the past he had never established a minimum but he felt it necessary to ensure you at least a minimum payment you could count on.

“Weekends, company events, and our weekly dinners or coffee dates. I will also give you 24 hour notice before requesting you to join me at something outside of what we already have scheduled as I am sure you read.”

“I did, I think 24 hours is sufficient.”

A smile tugs at the corner of his lips. “Anything else?”

“I want you to eat. I want you to make sure you eat lunch every day.”

He chuckles. “I see you added that in.”

“I did.”

He flips to the next page.  “I can do that.”

“Will I be expected to go on any of your overnight trips with you?” You ask, fidgeting with your napkin.

“On special occasion you will and only weekends, so your work schedule is not disturbed. Costs will be covered as well. You have a passport correct?”

“I do.”

“Great,” he puts the contract away. “I agree to the other notes and we will amend the probationary period to be ninety days instead of thirty before agreeing to a 12 month contract. Anything else?”

“No. The rate seems fair. I tried to do a little research about that and have no issue with the selected amount.”

“Good,” he smiles before reaching over and squeezing your hand.

You turn your hand so that your palm presses to his, his touch warm and reassuring. You watch his long fingers brush the inside of your wrist, a little shiver running through you.

“I will make the adjustments before getting you to sign an official copy for yourself and a copy for me.”

“Okay. Thank you for meeting with me and being so open minded.”

He withdraws his touch. “I’m glad we could reach an arrangement that suits both of our needs. I was a little worried you would deny my offer.”

You smile at him weakly, you had seriously considered it, but decided you needed to do what you could to help your family and his offer was the only way you could see working out at the moment. You nervously pull your hair over your shoulder.

“I should order a car if we are done for tonight. I’m exhausted. I am sure you are as well.”

“Let me drop you off,” he replies before standing and helping you to your feet. He picks up the envelope, his free hand on the small of your back before guiding you out.

“Are you sure?”

He nods once. “You are my companion now. You can expect this type of situation moving forward.”

You blush and he smiles at you before thanking the staff of the restaurant as you leave together.

(Chapter Eight)

[academiaipromise]

Hello!

This is a series that was inspired by some stressed-filled Zoom calls that I’ve been having with some underclassmen for both my extracurricular organizations and peer mentoring programs. If you’re still reading this, chances are, you’re either going back to college soon or starting college for the first time in the year that is 2020. While we all are probably focusing on the safety of ourselves and our loved ones (as we arguably should), many incoming freshmen I’ve been talking to are also stressed about college things: emailing professors, study tips, how to balance virtual classes. So, in case you feel like reading a series of tips written by a 4th year undergrad who at least pretends to know what she’s doing, click below to read the second entry. Click here for the first. 

Tip #2: Zoomin’, or Keeping a Life/Work Balance During Online or Hybrid Courses

When trying to figure out the order in which to post these tips, I was struck with the realization that I start school in a little over a week. So, if anyone is in this same boat, I figured it would be important to talk about class registration tips when there’s still time for you do something about it. This post is a long one, but here’s hoping you can find some advice in it. 

So something to clarify right off the bat: when everything started moving to a virtual format, everybody and their mother on the Internet starting coming forward with tips on how to work from home. And while that’s kind of what’s happening here, I take issue with two things: working from home is not the same as working from home during a global crisis, and working from home is not the same as virtual college. So I’ll try to get as specific as I can, but also try to throw in some tips that might work better for you than they do for me.  

Part One: Registering for Classes

Okay so this part you might have already done, but it’s good to keep in mind. While the recommended hours at every university is different, in my experience the average recommendation is 15 credits hours per semester. It’s important to note though that this is only an average: if you plan on taking courses in the summer, graduating early/later than 4 years, or taking on multiple majors, all of these things affect the credit hours you should be taking.

The unpleasant reality of registering for courses is there’s really no way to know how a specific class will be. There’s always RateMyProfessor.com or other tools, but who’s to say that professors will be like they normally are if they’re trying to figure out how to teach online/hybrid classes? Also, it’s a good thought to keep in mind that typically only two kinds of people leave public reviews of a professor/course: those who really loved the class, and those who really hated the class. So read and figure out what exactly they’re saying, not just how they feel about the course. And just know yourself - if someone from a humanities background says a statistics class is too hard, but you're great with numbers, that’s not always the best advice to heed. Listen to your gut instinct, both when registering and during drop/add week. 

My advice for registering for classes right now? Whatever your instinct is, go a little less if you’re able. The reason I say this is because studying in 2020 can be...a lot, in the same way doing anything in 2020 is. I was only registered for 12 credit hours last semester, and even that became difficult to manage toward the end (moving back home suddenly, people you know getting sick, trying to protect high risk loved ones/yourself, all of which can and probably will happen again this semester). I would just say to go in overestimating how much time you need for yourself vs classes - there will be other semesters, and it’s better to take less classes now and not burn out or struggle mentally (or even just academically) in your first semester of college. Please just be kind to yourself. 

Part Two: Zoom, or the True Necessary Evil 

Maybe you used Zoom all throughout your last months of high school; maybe your university is using Microsoft Teams or something to that effect. Either way, here is what I’ve found to be helpful during my unforeseen five month foray into Zoom, seemingly with no end in sight.

1. Zoom is a tool. Yes, I kind of hate Zoom, and you may also come to hate Zoom if you don’t already, but there are benefits. You can send in written questions or raise your hand through Zoom if your professor allows that feature, both of which are very helpful in trying to show engagement while also trying to respect any kind of Zoom decorum. This post is going to be long enough, and my next post will have more to do with extracurriculars and virtual opportunities, but if you ever need to host a Zoom and want to just use all of its features, I’m more than happy to answer DMs. I’ve had to sit through so many Zoom tutorials for Student Involvement, and if I can spare anyone from that, I would love to. 

2. Balance what you keep digitally versus what’s on paper. Okay, so this is definitely, definitely up to personal preference, but speaking from experience, I just don’t view online or hybrid classes as the opportunity to go fully digital if you’ve never been fully digital before. For me, I always take handwritten notes, mainly because when it comes to remembering things, I either have more of an auditory memory, or I can remember the way that I wrote something when I was taking notes. Considering online classes usually decrease the auditory memory aspect a lot, when things moved virtual I made a point to keep taking handwritten notes. However, something that I’ve found particularly appealing is using Google Calendar (or iCal, Outlook, whatever it is you prefer) to an excess. When scheduling Zoom calls, I always save the Zoom link in the description of the event on my Google Calendar. Trust me, this is a lot better than trying to go through your email to find the link that professor sent. So I would advice to think about your learning preferences and figure out a way to still play to your strengths, even if it might technically be a little less convenient. 

3. Schedule screen breaks. This is so important for so many reasons. While I’ve invested in some blue light glasses because I am slowly losing my vision after years of reading books by flashlight or AO3 fics on my phone until late at night, I still get fatigued being on a screen for so long. Because it’s not just school that’s on the screen; it’s your clubs, your social interactions, maybe your job. I would recommend scheduling screen breaks that coincide with some sort of physical activity (I don’t necessarily mean an intensive physical activity, although if you want to feel free; I more am referring to getting up out of your chair and walking around your room or apartment. Or going outside. Ride your bike. Do some yoga. Eat some food. Etc.), but if you’re feeling particularly busy or overwhelmed, taking notes from a physical book works just as well. Even if you feel okay at the moment, scheduling breaks and following that schedule can save you from screen fatigue hitting all at once - it will take a lot longer to get over a headache between your eyes/your eye twitching or your neck and/or shoulder locking up than just allowing simple short breaks throughout your day. 

4. Schedule time between Zooms. This may sound like the same thing as taking screen breaks, but what I’ve found is that Zoom is a lot more draining that in person classes. I used to schedule Zoom calls back to back like I would classes (again, personal preference, but I was always the person who would take all of their classes from 9:30-3:30 on Tuesday/Thursday, and no classes on Monday/Wednesday/Friday), but found out pretty quickly that I was wrecked after two or more Zoom calls in a row. Honestly, now I won’t schedule any two Zoom calls within a half an hour of each other - between calls, I like to walk around, grab a snack, stretch, close my eyes and try and suppress the social anxiety that seems to accompany every Zoom class or meeting I’ve ever had. (Tangent: I’m thoroughly convinced southerners were not meant to operate Zoom calls. No one knows how to hang up the dang call without being rude because we were taught to have 30 minute conversations in a doorway on our way out.) Maybe there are people who can go on Zoom calls for three hours or so (and I’ve done that with friends, whether just working on group projects or hanging out), but my personal recommendation would be just to space it out more than normal if you’re able. 

5. Create an ideal weekly schedule. This is not “your most productive week ever,” or “this is the rigid schedule you will follow for eternity with no deviations.” One of my most difficult adjustments in college was the changing schedules; maybe you were planning on finishing an important paper on Thursday night, only for your group project to decide to meet that night instead. And that will happen, even with virtual meetings (maybe especially with virtual meetings, as people definitely tend to overestimate your availability when it’s digital). What I’ve found that helps is to create an ideal weekly schedule, both in general and a more specific one at the start of the week, because that means that when things get shuffled around, you actually reschedule that thing that you wanted to do, whether it’s homework, yoga, or just...being alone for a bit. It allows you to still feel like you’re prioritizing your time and activities, even when your schedule changes with little to no warning. 

Part Three: Some Final Thoughts

If you can invest in a second monitor, now might really be the time to do it. If you’d prefer, I used a laptop riser for most of college before this all happened (yay nerve damage in my neck!) and an external keyboard and mouse. I would just compare models and figure out what works best financially if that’s something you want to do. 

Ultimately, if this doesn’t come across in every tip I post, please just be patient with yourself this semester. This is a weird time, and I know that starting your first semester you might be 100% committed to starting off strong or making a great first impression. And that’s awesome, but sometimes that just might not be realistic. Look at last week’s post on contacting your professor, and reach out early just to introduce yourself. Establishing a relationship early on is always good, but especially considering that this semester really might have moments where you need some extra time or grace from them. Can’t focus? Can’t find motivation? That’s understandable; we’re in a global crisis right now. Just listen to yourself and always put your health and the health of your loved ones before school. I hope that these tips can at least help you navigate your first year with a little less trepidation. 

------------------------------------

So that’s it for this entry! As always, if you have specific questions, please don’t  hesitate to ask. Again, I am a student at an SEC university in the United States, so I’m not claiming to be an expert in all things, but I have TA'ed multiple freshman seminars, and will be making this series for the freshmen that I know starting at my school this year anyways, so putting them on this blog is no big deal. Next post (which will hopefully be up sooner than this one was) will specifically be on extracurriculars and virtual opportunities, so if you have specific questions on that as well, I’m all ears. 

[jaehyun-eclipsed]

Before I Met You | Eighteen

Updates: Sundays TBD

Pairing: NCT (Jaehyun, Lucas, Mark, Jaemin, Johnny) X Reader/OC

Genre: Romance, Angst, Coming of Age

Summary: Four. There were four people before I fell in love with you… Here are their stories.

Author’s Note: So we’re starting off part 4 today! I wanted to let you know that I am going to be a bit busy (school is starting for me, etc.) so unfortunately, I don’t think I’ll be able to keep up with my weekly update. I might try biweekly updates, but I’m not quite sure what my schedule will look like yet. I might consider shorter updates, but that may disrupt the flow I want. Either way, rest assured, I have full intentions of continuing this story... albeit, a bit slower. 

Before I Met You Masterlist

Prev | Next

“I remember you telling me you had asked out one other guy before me,” Jaehyun says. “But I didn’t realize it was like that.”

I hug the throw pillow to my chest tighter and an embarrassed smile makes its way onto my features. “Mm, technically, I didn’t ask him. It was more like… well, I confronted him,” I admit.

His eyes widen like everything has come full circle. “This makes so much more sense now.”

“What?”

“When you asked me… that was like nothing in comparison.”

“I wouldn’t say that…”

“– and I didn’t even give you – God, I’m such a wimp,” he laments, covering his face with both of his hands in humiliation.

I shrug and rest my hand on his knee, gently rubbing circles over the denim of his pants. “Hey, we’re here now, aren’t we? Besides, we had more… legitimate problems. You had basically just started your job.”

“Yeah, that’s true.” He continues nodding to himself, mostly in agreement, though a nervous laugh quickly follows a loud huff. “But I’m still such a wimp! I couldn’t even call you!”  

“Well,” I begin, “you did call me. Though, I guess you could have at least left a message.” My eyes soften as I lift my hand to caress his face. “I don’t blame you though. I’m not worth your job, Jaehyun… and especially not when you’re just starting out.”

A small smile forms on his lips as he wraps his arms around me, pulling me into his lap and gently encouraging my head to rest against his chest. He presses a soft kiss into my hair.

“Thank you for caring, but I think you’re worth it.”

Jaehyun and I have been together for over two years. I suppose since we’ve made it this far, there’s no doubt he’d say that. He’s happy, I’m happy, things are good. We were lucky that it worked out for us. And while I wouldn’t have it any other way, I’m not entirely sure I really do think I’m worth it.

“How did you feel after that?” he asks, pulling me from my thoughts. “Like, just about the whole situation. You didn’t seem heartbroken over it, but you must’ve been upset.”

“No, I wasn’t heartbroken,” I concur. “But I was incredibly confused. And I hate being confused. When something doesn’t fit the logical mold, I don’t know how to function. It’s like my synapses misfire and I start coming up with all of these hypotheses – it’s a very desperate attempt because I start spit balling things that I know don’t add up and so I’m always left back where I started… confused and unable to piece together anything into a coherent story.”

Jaehyun tightens his hold on me and remains quiet for a moment.

“Did I make sense to you?”

“In the beginning, no.” I crack into a wide grin and look up at him. “You didn’t give me an answer and then the next time I stepped into the office, you kept trying to talk to me and started asking me all of these questions like nothing had happened. And it was so funny because we both knew there was this huge elephant in the room!”

“I couldn’t call you from my phone! Siwon told me not to! So I figured that if I show you some interest, then you wouldn’t completely hate me,” he responds. “And maybe you’d get the hint.”

“You could’ve written me a note!”

“I –” he begins quickly, an attempt to defend himself, though, he ultimately concedes. “Yeah, you’re right. I was scared!”

“You had right to be.”

“I still can’t believe you did that to that guy in college. He must’ve been terrified.”

“Yeah, probably.

“Did you ever see him around again?”

“Yeah, it was a little weird. Trying to force yourself to say ‘hi, how are you?’ to someone after that is kinda awkward.” I bite my lip as another memory resurfaces. “Honestly, the most frustrating part was when my mom called after she heard what I had done.”

“Oh no,” he remarks, his tone exhibiting full understanding of the situation.

“Yeah, she called and asked why I did that, how it wasn’t okay – she was switching back and forth between reprimanding me and asking if I was okay.”

“Why didn’t she think it was okay?”

“I think she thinks it’s not ‘lady-like.’ I’m not supposed to be so… assertive.”

“You’ve always been confident,” Jaehyun replies with a chuckle. “It’s something I’ve always admired about you. Ever since I met you.”

Junior year of college was starting out rather monotonous. Jia and I had moved back into the same house, choosing to remain roommates in the same room. We were pleasantly greeted by many new faces who seemed to be much more open to socializing with each other compared to the previous year’s tenants. I had been quick to learn that most of them knew each other from the dorms last year; they were already friends. Their openness even managed to coax the handful of residents that returned from last year into playing cards with them in the evenings.

I, on the other hand, had become much more reticent to join them. I had missed out on the first week’s socials, having to tend to family obligations immediately after finishing classes for the day. I’d watch them for a bit sometimes, heart heavy with a desire to belong and make more friends. I didn’t even know half of their names.

I spent most of my days on campus in class and then the library until dinner. When I went home for the day, I stayed in my room with Jia. Of course, she noticed my change in behavior from the previous year, but I couldn’t tell her the truth.

I couldn’t bring myself to spend my evenings downstairs anymore. It made me antsy. Last week, I happened to be in the dining room alone – a dangerous environment for my overly analytical brain. My eyes lingered over to the pool table and immediately, the events with Jaemin began playing right in front of me, incessantly on repeat. The laughter, the banter, and the seductive gazes were a sad reminder of how boys can really just suck sometimes. I missed what we had – which is so silly because it’s not like we really had anything. Longing, frustration, and confusion all hit me within a matter of seconds. I suppose it’s understandable. I didn’t really get closure with Jaemin. He just made me more confused than I already was.

Why? How?

I didn’t understand.

And naively, I only thought my residual feelings were as bad as it would get.

Yesterday, Suji and I happened to be walking through the student union after lunch. Being the third week of the semester, the student union had already resumed its normal busyness. We were searching for open seats to do some homework before needing to attend class, but were finding the effort to be useless. As we made our way towards the exit, I had the sudden feeling that someone was watching me. I frowned and when I turned my head, I immediately made eye contact with a familiar brown haired boy sitting at a table with his laptop.

Jaemin.

Be nice.

His expression was blank as he looked back at me. Desiring to be civil, I smiled warmly and waved to him, watching him return the gestures before looking away.

That was the first time I saw him this semester.

And while I didn’t think I would never see him, I certainly didn’t expect to run into him every day after that. It was always in different places around campus between classes. For such a large campus, I’m surprised we had that much overlap in class locations.

“Hey!”

“Hm?” My eyes widen and I quickly look up at Jia who has a slightly perplexed expression.

“What are you thinking about?”

“Oh um, I was thinking about my schedule for tomorrow,” I lie.

“Oh really?” she asks. “You looked like you were concentrating very hard.”

I shrug and shake my head slowly. “Long day tomorrow.”

“Oh, okay. Have you seen the boys around here?”

“I’m never here so I haven’t really seen anyone except for… I think his name is Hendery? He’s cute.”

“Oh, yeah, I saw him. Have you seen Johnny? I think he’s really attractive. More attractive than Hendery.”

“Uh, no. Have you talked to him?”

“Yeah! I talked to him one time! He’s really nice. And really tall too.”

“Oh.” I reach over to the other side of my bed and grab my phone. “Do you know his last name?”

“Suh.”

Jia climbs up onto my bed to sit next to me while I type the name into the Instagram search bar.

“That’s him,” she says, pointing to the first result.

Johnny is quite handsome. Midnight black hair, defined jawline, and a very friendly smile.

“Oh, he is cute,” I say. “But what’s this?”

I tap on the second most recent selfie of Johnny and a girl sitting at table with two cups of boba. The caption reads, “Happy Birthday to this one 😘💕”

“Damn, it looks like he has a girlfriend,” I say with a sigh. “Oh well!”

If I were being completely truthful, another reason I wasn’t interested in spending time downstairs was because part of me didn’t actually want to make friends with anyone at the house. Jaemin was still a sore spot and all because of him, I had decided that finding a potential love interest amongst your housemates was a bad idea. Perhaps that was a bit narrow minded because it’s not like I had to befriend any of them with that intention. I never had that intention with Jaemin to begin with.

But maybe that’s what I was afraid of. I never meant to fall for Jaemin – it just happened.

There’s obviously no guarantee that it would happen in the same way again, but in thinking about Lucas and Jaemin, I felt that the chance was more than miniscule. And that risk was enough for me to decide against it.

Okay, do not go into the student union right now because Jaemin will probably be there since you saw him there at this time last week.

Library it is.

I grab my backpack and throw it over my shoulder as class ends, quickly leaving the room and finding myself thrown into a crowded hall of students trying to exit the building. Walking past several students sitting on the floor outside of my classroom, I turn the corner and immediately deadpan.

Are you fucking kidding me?

Jaemin and I instantly lock eyes as he walks from the opposite direction. He looks at me for a moment before turning away and continuing to chat with the girl next to him. I squint in confusion, chastising whatever supernatural forces could have caused this chance encounter.

Since when does he have class at this time?! And in this building?! I’ve never seen him here in all the time I’ve had class this semester!

I try to remain expressionless as I mentally prepare myself to walk by him. He’s acting as if he’s completely invested in his conversation, turned completely inward towards the girl and ignoring any oncoming people that may pass by.

Okay, so you’re just going to act like I’m not here, got it. I guess I won’t say hi.

I keep my head down as he comes within earshot, keeping an eye on him from my periphery.

“I’ll see you later,” he says to the girl before abruptly turning around and trailing behind me.

Oh?

“Hey.”

Unfortunately, my mouth works faster than my brain in this instant and my bitterness quickly reveals itself.

“Endless running into you, huh?”

That didn’t come out right.

“Yeah…” he slowly responds.

Yeah, that definitely didn’t come out right.

He maneuvers to my right side to walk directly next to me. “Where are you going?” he asks.

“Life sciences building,” I say, keeping my gaze forward.  

We walk several more steps towards the entrance, slowly making our way upstream of all of the students pouring into the building.  

“You?” I ask.

“Uh, Wheeler, which is that way,” he says, pointing in the opposite direction. “Ah, I always forget my orientation.”

It seems like you’re always doing that when you’re with me.

A few silent moments pass between us as I’m at a loss of what to say. I obviously didn’t start out with a very friendly demeanor, which I’m guessing he probably didn’t expect given my smile and wave last week.  

What the fuck am I supposed to say? Pretty sure you didn’t come up to me to have a “let’s be friends!” chat.

“So how’s everything going?” I ask, glancing over my shoulder to see him a couple steps behind me.

“Uh… good,” Jaemin says. “Busy junior year. How about you?”

“Uh, same. Yeah…”

There’s a hell of a lot of other things going on, but I don’t know how much I should or want to elaborate. One of those things is you, but we won’t go into that.

“Where are you going?” he asks.

Um, I just told you.

I open my mouth to repeat what I told him thirty seconds earlier, but am cut off by his quick memory.

“Oh, life science building, right, which is that way,” he says, pointing in the proper direction.  

Yep… that way. Why does it seem like you’re so nervous?

“Did you just have a class in here?” I ask.

“Yeah, had class in here and now I’m going to Wheeler,” he repeats.  

Yeah, I know. You just said that.

“So you’re going that way?” he asks again, pointing straight ahead as soon as we make it outside the building.

“Yep…”

“Okay, I’m going this way. See you later.”

“See ya.”

Well, I guess the ice has been broken.  

I just didn’t really get it. I thought that after the whole falling out between us, I was never going to see him again. Jaemin was my adventure for sophomore year. Done, chapter finished. That’s basically what it was with everyone else. I’ve never run into Lucas when I return home during breaks. I rarely see my floormates from freshman year – maybe a couple of them once while walking between classes and then never again. Obviously because Jaemin and I go to the same school, there’s always a chance that we will see each other.

But every single day for a week?! That’s gotta be some kind of record.

There’s what – 36,000 people here? So the chance of seeing any one person is about 1/36,000; even less because each person can only be in one place at any given time. So seeing Jaemin once on a fluke wouldn’t be unusual and would probably be kind of nice just to smile and wave, “Hi, I know you exist and you suck, nice to briefly see you.”

There’s too much of a coincidence for this to mean nothing. But I don’t know what that is because there’s likely no chance of us actually dating and I’m pretty sure he isn’t trying to be casual friends with me.    

The knife glides seamlessly as I guide it through the cantaloupe. Several drops of juice spill out onto the cutting board. As I begin slicing it into trapezoidal pieces, my eyes flicker back and forth between the fruit and the boy cooking at the stove.

I immediately recognize him to be Johnny. The pictures didn’t do him justice. He’s definitely better looking in person and much taller than I had initially expected. Sporting a casual black t-shirt and jeans, I take note of his broad shoulders and relatively muscular arms.

“Hey, is it okay if I open the door? I’m using a lot of pepper,” Johnny suddenly says to me.

“Oh, yeah, sure.”

I shift my weight between each leg, trying to figure out something to say to break the ice. I’m aware that Johnny has a girlfriend, but that doesn’t mean I can’t at least introduce myself. I don’t know anyone here anyway – with the exception of Jia and knowing the names of the few returning residents from last year. It just seems so much more intimidating to talk to a cute person because I don’t want him to think I’m hitting on him. Though, it’s kind of a bold assumption to make.

“What are you cooking?” I finally ask.

“Uh, salt and pepper chicken.”

“Oh. That sounds good!” I respond. “I don’t think we’ve formally met. My name is Y/N.”

“I’m Johnny.”

After proceeding through the normal “first time meeting fellow college student” questions, I learn that Johnny is a CS major who was originally born in Seoul, but moved to San Jose when he was only a few years old.

“I haven’t seen you around here too often,” Johnny says. “Do you just hang out in your room?”

“In the evenings, yeah. Otherwise I go to the library between classes and stay there until dinner.”

“Wow, I wish I studied like that. I study in my room, but I get distracted by my roommates a lot. Maybe I should go to the library too.”

I shrug. “I get more work done, but I almost don’t have friends,” I reply with a chuckle. “Just a couple that I go out to dinner with every once in a while.”

“You should hang out with us downstairs. My roommate Hendery is always looking for people to talk to. And Chaeyoung is really nice; she was my floormate last year. She always has snacks to share.”

I have an in! I can make more friends! And they seem nice! And they probably won’t flirt with me and tell me they were just being friendly!

God, I’m still so salty about that.

“Are you a part of any clubs?” he asks.

“No, I tried to join a dance club, but decided not to. I also did archery for a little bit, but I don’t go anymore.”

“Archery? We have archery here?”

“Yeah, it’s at the baseball field on the other side of campus though. I’d go, but we don’t have a bus that goes directly there.” “You don’t have anyone to go with?”

“No.”

“Oh.” He looks at the ground and purses his lips. “Well, if you ever wanna go back, I’ll go with you. I’d like to try!”

The cute guy wants to be friends with me! Yay!

“That would be fun! Yeah, I’d like to get back into it.”

“So I met Johnny downstairs,” I say, popping a piece of cantaloupe into my mouth.

“Ooh,” Jia coos. “What did you think?!”

“He’s cute and he’s really nice. He invited me to hang out with him and some of the other people that are downstairs all the time.”

Jia frowns, seemingly offended that she wasn’t offered an invitation. “He didn’t invite me!”

“We were talking about clubs and friends. Did you guys talk about that?”

“Oh.” She retracts her hurt expression, but only momentarily. “No, we just talked about the classes we’re taking. But you always get invited to things. Like I want to be asked to do a photoshoot.”

I’m rendered a bit speechless by her comment. Jia has never been this… blunt? I didn’t know that she noticed or even cared. Ten has asked me to be his model a handful of times to practice his photography skills, but that’s about it. I always thought Jia was more social than I was. She went on dinner outings and had friends over much more frequently than I did. Granted, when the amount of times I do those things is nearly zero (in reality, it’s probably a couple times a month), anything more than that would seem frequent to me.

“You know how my friends came over last week and you came in for a couple minutes to put something away, but then went out with Ten again?” she begins. “After you left, one of my friends said that she’s surprised I would get along with someone who looks like you.”

What the hell?

My eyebrows raise in astonishment. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I don’t know.”

I’m silent for a moment as I consider the situation. Jia looks like your typical studious international student. She wears oversized glasses, never wears makeup except for job interviews and special occasions, and generally wears plain jeans and simple long-sleeved shirts. Her system is based on efficiency.

I’ve always been sort of the opposite. Not to say that I’m not efficient, but I don’t mind sacrificing a little sleep to do my hair and makeup every morning. I’ve always held myself to a higher standard of presentation. And I guess it’s not unusual for me to hear comments about being attractive or looking like a sorority girl. Not sure the latter is said as a compliment, but I digress.

“She thinks I look like a partier, huh?”

“I think so.”

I purse my lips and nod my head slowly, a bit displeased about the superficial impression from a stranger. I am not a partier in the slightest.

“Anyway,” she begins, switching the subject again, “it’s too bad Johnny has a girlfriend, huh?”

I sigh, as my thoughts regarding our previous subject of discussion have not been settled. I can’t say I like being perceived that way. Is Jia… jealous? I’ve never made it a point to tell her what I’m doing, but she always asks every time I get ready to leave the room. Otherwise, I wouldn’t tell her.

“Yeah… too bad.”  

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Jennifer Lopez Skin Care

New Post has been published on https://skin-care-routine.com/skin-care-routine/jennifer-lopez-skin-care/

Jennifer Lopez Skin Care

A. Everything You Need To Know About Jennifer Lopez’s Skincare Routine

That’s exactly how the triple threat maintains its coveted “JLo glow”. Few people have skin as fabulous as Jennifer Lopez. Her radiant and wrinkle-free complexion has been a source of admiration for the world for decades-and inspires fans to search Google for the answer to her beautiful naked face. It is complete and meticulous, but doable.

“People always ask about my skin,” Lopez told Hoda Kotb and Kathie Lee Gifford during a segment in 2014. “I must say that I have good genes. My mom and grandma had beautiful skin, so I was blessed that way. No I had plastic surgery … no injections, no filling, nothing. ”

In December 2020, the 51-year-old from the Bronx answered the prayers of those looking for Lopez’s skin care routine with the launch of JLo Beauty: a central line of products like sunscreen, eye cream and serum (available now) that help maintain Lopez’s charisma disease can achieve what “the JLo-Leuchten” was coined.

But what else does the star Hustlers do other than use their lineage religiously to achieve natural perfection? Read everything we know about Lopez’s skin care routine, compiling interviews over the years.

1. Jennifer Lopez uses SPF every day

Sunscreens are easy to discard because they are uncomfortable or boring, but the fact is that everyone with beautiful skin trusts them, including Lopez. It’s all about finding the right formula for you, whether it’s a high-quality formula that melts on your skin or moisture with UV protection added to it.

“I was never the type to sunbathe, which is why my skin was self-sustaining,” she told us Weekly for the January 2018 edition of the outlet. However, the icon of beauty does not always escape sunlight. “I like to sunbathe like everyone else when I go on vacation,” she told POPSUGAR Beauty in December 2020. “It’s not something I over-abuse, but that’s why a large part [of JLo Beauty] was sunscreen. . ”

“A dermatologist told me too young to use sunscreen and I asked myself, ‘What do I need sunscreen for? I live in New York. “But the truth is, that was an important part of my ability to look young, because I used it as a moisturizer every day. It helped me protect myself from the elements, and many people don’t understand that such a big part of looking young is wearing sunscreen every day. ”

2. Jennifer Lopez believes in this skin care ingredient

Interestingly, the skin care ingredient of the lonely island cast member is a staple of the kitchen: olive oil. “My mom used to say that olive oil is the panacea for everything,” revealed Lopez in a statement shared with GRAZIA USA. “And it’s a secret that I’ve used over the years because it really works.”

It is now an irreplaceable part of Lopez’s skin care routine. “Whenever my hair, skin or nails dried, I went back to the oil,” she said at a Zoom meeting with beauty editors, explaining that this is exactly why the main ingredient of her skin care line has become the JLo Beauty Contributes Olive Complex line: A mixture of four parts of squalane, fermented olive oil, extra virgin olive oil and olive leaf extract.

3. Jennifer Lopez always washes her face after exercise

The actress casually trains five times a week, so of course it’s not strange to be sweaty … often. “I always, always wash my face after training,” she said hello! in 2016. “It helps to keep my pores clean and my skin looking healthy.”

4. Jennifer Lopez never sleeps in makeup

No matter how much Selena’s student wants to end the day and go to bed, she never gives up on her nightly cleaning routine. “I never go to bed without my makeup on and use night creams to keep my skin hydrated,” Lopez told People in 2016.

And we should all take notes of Lopez when it comes to his consistent sleep schedule. “Ideally, I would like to sleep nine or ten hours,” Lopez told InStyle in 2016. “But, anyway, I always make sure to get at least eight.”

5. Jennifer Lopez takes care of her body

Lopez’s skin care routine is clearly solid, but she also pays attention to how she feeds her body from the inside out. “I don’t drink, smoke and I don’t have caffeine,” she said in Weekly in 2016. “It really ruins your skin as you get older.” What does not hurt the skin? Greens and H2O, which Lopez has in abundance. “We eat a lot of green vegetables, asparagus, Brussels sprouts, broccoli and kale,” she told the establishment. And instead of wine, she drinks at least seven glasses of water a day.

In May 2020, her chef, Kelvin Fernandez, announced that Lopez likes to start the day with green juice. She is not a big fan of fruits, but will drink a mix of “vegetables like spinach, cucumber and celery”.

6. Jennifer Lopez takes it easy on her days off

If Lopez doesn’t like makeup artist Mary Phillips and hairdresser Chris Appleton, she is probably keeping things simple and relaxed. “I am very cautious with my daily beauty routine. I have to wear a lot of makeup to work. So, when I’m not working, I usually wear little or no makeup, ”hitmaker Jenny From the Block told Instyle in 2018.

7. Jennifer Lopez gets occasional treatment

No, it’s not botox or filler, but a facial treatment that adds a little more TLC to her skin outside of Lopez’s skin care routine. Before appearing on the 2020 Super Bowl break program, the famous beautician Toska Husted did a facial with Biologique Recherche products. She is also no stranger to Dr. Lancers Signature Placenta Facial, an anti-aging treatment that “promotes the production of collagen and elastin”.

  B. 11 Anti-Aging Tricks Jennifer Lopez Uses to Look Half Her Age

Jennifer Lopez’s impressive appearance at the Super Bowl LIV halftime show got everyone talking. Not only did her pole dance skills come to the point with someone-like an experienced professional-in her 20s, but her timeless beauty quickly earned her the nickname J. Glow.

So how does the star manage to make 50 look like the new 20 when it comes to flawless skin? Ahead of it is the A-Lister source with the secrets of youth care – from healthy habits to the exact anti-aging products in your beauty arsenal.

1. She gets her beauty serenity

Despite her busy acting schedule, new music, concerts, movie premieres, training with her fiance, outlaw Alex Rodriguez and the mother of her two children (Max and Emme), Lopez somehow finds time to sleep more than most countries.

“Tip number one is always to get enough sleep. I can’t stress enough,” she told InStyle in 2018. “I would love to sleep nine or ten hours, but either way, I always make sure I get it.” at least eight. ”

2. It hydrates and nourishes cleanly

Lopez believes that beauty starts from within. “Sorry, it’s true! I think drinking lots of water and fresh food with lots of fruits and vegetables (I always keep them with me) affects the quality of the skin,” she told People in 2016.

3. She doesn’t drink or smoke

You can see J. Lo outside the house from time to time, but you’ll never catch her throwing drinks back or blowing a cigarette. “She doesn’t drink, she doesn’t smoke. She lives a very clean life,” confirmed the groom in 2018, Harper’s Bazaar.

4. It also avoids caffeine

While Lopez is enjoying breakfast, she gets the decaf. “I haven’t had caffeine in years,” she told us in 2016 Weekly.

5. She has great genes

While she works hard to maintain her J.Lo shine, she also admits that she has a genetic advantage. “I must say that I have good genes,” she confessed today. “My mom and grandma had beautiful skin, so I was blessed with her. I am so happy.”

6. She meditates and uses mantras

In addition to his diet, Lopez believes that there is a connection between the mind and the body when it comes to beauty. “I definitely think that beauty comes from within – you need to keep your mind, soul, body and spirit in sync,” she told InStyle in 2016. “I firmly believe in meditation and when you are happy and have joy and love, you radiate beauty. ”

She also revealed to Harper’s Bazaarin in 2018 that she is a fan of daily mantras and affirmations. “I am young and timeless. I say this to myself every day, a few times a day. It sounds like fucking cliché, but it’s not like age is all in your head. Look at Jane Fonda,” she shared.

7. She washes her face after training

Lopez works – a lot! And after each welding session, she makes sure to refresh herself. “I always wash my face after training,” she told Hello! “It helps to keep my pores clean and my skin is healthy.”

8.    It also cleanses the face before sleeping

As tired as J.Lo is, she never neglects her skin care routine. “I never go to bed without my makeup on and use night creams to moisturize my skin,” she told People in 2016.

9. It protects your skin from sun damage

Lopez believes strongly in the SPF, she told InStyle in 2018. “I try not to spend too much time in the sun,” she added. In an interview with People in 2016, she also revealed that she uses sunscreen every day to protect her skin.

10. She uses glycolic acid to shine

Lopez also revealed to people that she regularly uses glycolic acid to “achieve a healthy glow and clear skin”. Her contact person? L’Oreals Bright Reveal Brightening Day Moisturizer SPF 30 ($ 18; amazon.com), an affordable anti-aging moisturizer with SPF 30 to protect skin from the sun and glycolic acid, Vitamin C and Pro-Retinol to lighten and soften skin while reducing the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles.

11. It invests in anti-aging products for the skin

While she can spend hours in the makeup chair for presentations and special occasions, Lopez ensures that her skin can breathe. “I’m quite reluctant about my daily beauty routine,” she admitted to InStyle in 2016. “I have to wear a lot of makeup to work, so I usually do that when I’m not working.” wear little or no makeup. ”

While she tries to run out of makeup whenever possible, the star relies on structured skin care regimes to keep her complexion healthy and youthful-looking. She revealed Hello! Even some of her favorite skin care products. While most of her favorites aren’t * so * cheap, it’s worth checking out some of her proven products.

At the end of a long day, J.Lo relies on Lancer Skincare The Method: Cleanse ($ 55; dermstore.com) to remove excess oil, increase cell renewal and protect skin from future damage. She also loves the brand’s Lancer Skincare Eye Contour Lifting cream ($ 95; nordstrom.com) to help reduce dark circles, wrinkles and puffiness thanks to a powerful formula of caffeine, hyaluronic acid and peptides to brighten the eye area.

Her longtime makeup artist, Scott Barnes, revealed in a 2018 interview with Popsugar that the star bets on La Mer Moisturizing Cream (starting at $ 90; nordstrom.com), a popular cream that deeply moisturizes dry skin. “That’s the only thing that is in the makeup ward, no matter what,” he said.

And although she has an arsenal of luxury products, J.Lo confessed, in an appearance on Watch What Happens Live With Andy Cohen in 2014, that she was Dr. Hauschka’s rose day cream ($ 45; amazon. com) was a cheaper product. a friendly moisturizer that uses avocado and rosehip oils to hydrate, nourish and soothe irritated skin.

  C. Jennifer Lopez’s Nighttime Skin-Care Routine Is Just 3 Steps Long

All products presented at Glamor are independently selected by our editors. However, if you purchase something through our retail links, we may receive an affiliate commission.

In case you didn’t know, Jennifer Lopez has a new line of skin products called JLo Beauty and she wants you to use it! What better way to demonstrate the effects of That Jlo Glow Serum or That Fresh Take Eye Cream than to really show what she is doing under her flawless makeup?

In the post-New Year video, Lopez is still wearing her stage makeup from a recent performance that she describes as “a lot of makeup”. The pop star starts her nightly skin care routine in three steps with her new cleanser That Hit Single. She applies only a quarter of the size of the Pinky Pearlescent product to her face before cleaning her makeup with her hands. “Wash 2020”, she joked.

For the remainder of her eight-minute video, Lopez demonstrates the rest of her routine by passing on to her $ 118 That JLo Glow Serum, which she says gives her “more shine than if I were wearing makeup”.

Lopez claims that she sent the product back to the drawing board about 23 times before getting the “firming and instant shine” effect she was looking for. Lopez then closed his video with That Blockbuster Wonder Cream.

Jennifer Lopez recently announced to Glamor that she never tried Botox. “I’m not that person. I have nothing against who does this. It’s just not my thing,” she said during Zoom’s call with beauty editors. “I’m more interested in a natural approach to skin care. I think, honestly, it starts with who you are on the inside first and it shows on your face on the outside. That’s number one.”