#am i using the tagging function right

[fang99o]

HOLY FUCK THERES A MUSIC OPTION ON TUMBLR WHAT THE HELLLL

[littlest-bugz]

Relapsing is a part of healing

[one systems perspective on relapsing during Resolution/late stage DID recovery.]

This post has been cooking in my drafts for a while, but since I'm back in a headspace where I would consider myself back in Resolution, I'm comfortable talking about this. I'm airing out my dirty laundry quite a bit in this post, but the reason I'm making this post is because of the fact I don't see many late stage recovery systems talk about relapsing back into dissociation and other CDD symptoms. I'm here to say it's totally okay and a part of healing. I don't know who needs to hear that, but I definitely did. I didn't hear it until i was in therapy.

A couple of months ago [when I was initially writing this post], I went through a series of traumatic events, including little over 3 weeks of reoccurring flashbacks due to a re-traumatizing situation. I have lovingly dubbed it 'the three weeks of hell'. There was more than just that, including 2 explosive breakdowns, where I just couldn't handle all the input I was getting with what all was going on. I was a whole wreck for a moment there, that's for sure. THANKFULLY, we only split off a one new alter after everything, which is healing progress, but it meant an increase in blackout amnesia in our day to day life, let alone the dissociation it was causing the system as a whole, nearly putting us back at step one of recovery.

The moment I noticed the blackout amnesia and increase in DID symptoms, I started thinking I had ruined any progress I could've possibly made. It felt like I had taken ten steps forward and then tumbled down the stairs. I never got to process the trauma as it just began to pile on, and eventually I popped in probably the worst explosive breakdown I've EVER had- my fight or flight kicked in and for gods know what reason, my brain chose fight. But that breakdown had solidified that 'fuck, I'm getting worse again' mentality I had going on. Everyone I knew seemed to 'keep it together' during rough times, so why couldn't I?

So that brought me to this post.

I wondered why I don't see talk of relapse in Late Stage Recovery spaces, let alone general CDD spaces. I figure, in my mind, that it's because it just isn't talked about. At least, not frequently. In the space I have curated for myself, I see a lot of fellow late stage recovery systems and finally fused systems, but everyone seems to not have relapsed at any point. Granted, this is the internet, and people show what they want others to see, but I felt ashamed for a good while that I had relapsed back into the amnesiac aspects of my dissociation. I didn't feel like I could call the stage of healing I am in 'late stage recovery'. But that's just. not true. I still am. My healing is ongoing, and I was able to resolve it.

In recovery for many disorders, relapses are, inherently, a part of the process of healing. Symptoms resurfacing is, to some extent, part of healing. Everyone is bound to have slip ups and rough times, and if your go to coping mechanism is dissociation [in CDDs cases], it's possible that you might slip back into those maladaptive mechanisms due to the stress of life happenings, but that's okay. What is needed is to learn the proper coping skills to deal with that stress, but it can be extremely hard to unlearn maladaptive coping skills and make turning towards healthy ones a default. Relapsing gives you the time to reinforce and build up what skills you do have.

When the three weeks of hell was occurring, I didn't exactly have the coping skills necessary to keep on with life, and any I did have, they were not 'automatic' enough. On top of that, my therapist was conveniently out of office for those three weeks. It did give me the time to make my skills stronger. Of course, I felt terrible about it but Relapsing is okay. As long as you learn how to deal with the stress and trauma, that's what matters. I'm still learning how to properly cope with everything that happened during those weeks, to be blunt, but I have gained a grasp on Resolution pretty quickly afterwards. I don't think it would've been possible to recover so easily had I not been in late stage recovery, and like I said before, it helped reinforce my coping skill box, making them stronger and much easier to recall. I definitely would say that relapsing was a part of my healing. Didn't feel good, but it became a huge factor in how we cope day to day.

TLDR; Relapsing during Resolution [Functional Multiplicity/Final fusion] is a part of recovery itself.

[uncanny-tranny]

Trans people don't have to abandon their entire pre-transition lives, and this is something I wish more people could acknowledge and respect.

There's an expectation for trans people to abandon every aspect of their "old selves", that it is only right for us to renounce everything that we were or that we thought we were before discovering we are trans.

Trans people will sometimes engage in communities that are "antithetical" to our current understandings of ourselves for so many reasons. For instance, a trans man might go to a lesbian meet-up because the lesbian community was the first place he could explore his gender and presentation in an environment that tends towards accepting gender and presentation deviance. There are way more examples of this, but my point is that trans people are not bad, or lying about their current gender, or heaven-forbid are predatory for engaging with these communities. You don't have to understand why some people do what they do, but I find that there is so much fear mongering about trans people who don't "match" what's expected of their gender or transition. Not all trans people will retain their pre-transition lives, and that's fine. Some of us do, though, and both these types of trans people can coexist; we take away nothing from each other by existing.

[vincent-sinclair-deserved-better]

hm

thinking of my blorbos but not in a "i love you you love me all is well" way but a "i love you hope you kill me" way lol

[iliveinprocrasti-nationn]

one thing abt being disabled/chronically ill that some people don’t get is that sometimes body maintenance that ensures you have the absolute minimum amount of function can also be something that takes away a lot of control and autonomy. you can argue till the cows come home that making those decisions to try and help yourself (or realistically to try to make sure things aren’t worse than they already are) is something that exhibits control and autonomy and stuff, but they can be so limiting in practice because they’re things that take up so much time but have to be done to do anything else

[eloquentsisyphianturmoil]

can someone tell me what Tolkien had against the letter j

[twilightarcade]

I loooove when people respond to you being mad by being mean to you. Like yeah thanks that's really improving my mood

[chitin-crusader]

kindof losing my mind bc uhhhh. how am i supposed to like. afford to live.

[t4tstarvingdog]

i am just. hating tumblr more and more. haha..

[whatudottu]

Something that I have been secretly obsessing over for forever is the idea of a Ben 10 (or general Omnitrix wielder) that goes full superhero and goes and designs secret identities for EVERY transformation, seeing as how though perhaps the wielder themself is from a human perspective disguised behind the face of an alien, well- fairly certain that transformations have their own degree of recognisability themselves-

Find out more in the cut below-

I mean, from the perspective of a human Omnitrix wielder like Ben or many other characters from canon to original may focus on the visual aspect of recognition, so maybe species with more than one recognisable feature or a completely different set of recognition (vulpimancers may recognise scent and perhaps sound, pyronites may recognise - among sight - heat signature or temperature) are kinda looked over without actually putting their all into studying ‘what makes me recognisable’, but like- in all honesty this is just me rambling about what human masks would fit the Omnitrix translation to certain alien transformations without proving detrimental to any of their abilities.

What kind of mask would a lepidopterran wear, one that conserves confidentiality without detracting from mouth-based protectiles, what about piscciss volann with their biting? What about a mask with a beaded mouth covering, perhaps one with antennae (or lures) of it’s own? What kind of mask that a human can wear be safely used on a pyronite? Give em a flame retardant gas mask, one maybe with an open back just to maintain the flame headed aesthetic.

Can you even mask every transformation? Beyond the Omnitrix sample of arburian pelarota being the very few examples of the newly practically if not extinct species, can you mask a face that rests on the main body? Is recognition of Arburia dictacted in fact by the face of a pelarota or is it determined by shell and (apparently they have hair) fur patterns?

Well, perhaps in that case a superhero outfit is best for the situation!

What superhero mask doesn’t come it with it’s own superhero costume? Well perhaps you could outfit your arburian pelarota transformation with a cloth ‘mask’ that physically acts as the shirt, they do after all have ‘eyeless vision’, all in due part according to their sensory fur (how do you think they see when rolling rolling?). Why not pair our pyronite mask with a firefighter coat, make them seem like a heroic rescuer rather than a TF2 Pyro main, the chunkier and more Fire Force it looks the better. And what about another member or a near extinct species petrosapiens sporting layers of sound absorbing clothing, worn with perhaps a full head mask that also helps insulate from sound as a defense whilst keeping up an optimal level of anonymity.

Masks with bells, give them to aliens that recognise with sound. Masks with real flowers, give them to aliens that recognise with scent. Put a mask in the fridge or let it sit in the sun, give it to an alien that recognises temperature.

What degree does body shape affect alien recognition, how different do you want to make the body look, how does your superhero outfit work to perhaps benefit your transformation.

How do you mask an opticoid? Give them a lacy mask/shirt, they don’t give a shit about chest nudity! How do you costume a gourmand? Give them a jacket they can zip right open, maybe just straight up sleeves with extra material that MIMICS a jacket! How about a loboan? Give them a long-nosed eye mask, it doesn’t need to cover the mouth so long as it covers the top of the snout!

Ough I love masks so much-

[angelicxi]

also not to to make vague and whining posts...but to make vague and whining posts, since I am actively sick and so dizzy I can barely stand upright for five minutes at a time, ergo sorely lack the required brainpower needed to express this w any of like, grace and precision, much less eloquence.

man oh man I am so fucking done with the way people approach art and media. how all of it is now perceived as "content" and the only metric by which they judge whether or not it is good is how hashtag relatable it is to the consumer, how the point of it is, or should be, as far as these people are concerned, to be Nice and Inoffensive and Digestible and About Me, The Specialest And Most Importantest Little Princeling, actually. how they perceive themselves as a customer, essentially. shopper weighing you, the artist / creative, like a product in his hands and tutting. and more than anything I loathe the incredibly dangerous entitlement bred by this attitude.

also, people have gotten waaaaayyyyyy too comfortable with just wandering into the DMs / inboxes of strangers they encounter at random on the internet with increasingly bizarre grievances. main character syndrome is sosososo real, deranged and common. I want to scream!! I AM screaming!!!!

[helielune]

i really miss old internet when logout buttons weren't like. hidden underneath three menus and two sidebars. idk.

[pepprs]

also the favoritism thing is still making me so fucking mad and insane btw. im not jealous / resentful of my brother bc he deserves her love and is also burdened in his own ways by it and bc i think my drama w my mom has shaped my life in profound ways and given me friends i cherish and i would never trade any of that for the world but jesus fucking christ. why do i have to beg you to interact with me like a mother. why do i have to talk to me at all beyond asking me to do you 847439473 favors a day. why do i have to beg you to take an interest in my life and apologize when you hurt me and be nurturing and perceptive for once in your fucking life. like it hurts to hear her asking him about his classes and whatever bc she didn’t think i was stressed out w school but i had to talk to a ****** hotline last decemver when i couldn’t take it anymore and my mental health was crashing and burning and it doesn’t even fucking matter to her at all and she’s going to get him the nice gifts and throw him the nice parties and whatever because she hates me and my sister for… and let me get this straight… being complicated and anxious and depressed and also girls. lol!

[theonlycorrectcropinions]

Scanlan in tlovm gets such bitch eating crackers energy from me. The show character is pretty great, by all rights I should be a big fan. But man, I just hate stream scanlan lmao. I hate the weird veneration he gets from the grossest bro-est parts of the fandom (this is very clearly not saying that if you like scanlan you’re a gross bro, shut the fuck up), as detailed before I hate the whole bard’s lament sitch, I hate the genesis of Sam’s “everything is a joke, except when it’s not” shtick where everything is schrodinger’s emotional moment that’s haha until it’s serious business because it feels so dishonest… and the worst part is that I lied, and I don’t actually particularly hate stream scanlan, I just hate thinking about him in any sort of analytical sense because he’s so fucking annoying.

Like, sure, I get it, what if the gag character who’d shown the depth of a kiddie pool gets serious, sure, seen it before. But if we’re supposed to take scanlan seriously then he’s a serial sexual harasser, murderer, manipulator, terrible friend, yadda yadda, shit that’s fine if he’s the comic relief guy, but not the kind of stuff that inspires any sympathy why Sam starts trying to lay in the pathos. It feels ingenuine to just flip a switch between shit the audience (just me actually, I don’t care what you do to the rest of the audience) is supposed to take seriously and what they’re (me again) supposed to laugh off. I’m not talking like ooc conversations and running jokes, but like actual stuff the characters do.

Like, Nott is a Halfling woman who gets turned into a goblin. Sam decided that since goblins have shorter lifespans they would feel emotions more strongly, so she acts a bit wild. Despite introducing her as a “little goblin girl,” (something stans like to forget when they whine about early game Nott being infantalized… she’s introduced as a little girl lmao) she’s supposed to be an adult, sure thing, got it. Why’s she eating shit? Literally eating shit in a sewer? How does that make any sense as an actual thing he actually narrated for his character to do? It doesn’t, it’s a joke, but it does make it harder to take Nott at her word later when she snaps at fjord for treating her like a child/idiot. You were just eating shit in a sewer lady, you don’t really get to be high about people questioning your decision making skills.

It’s over and over again with this stuff. It’s a joke that scanlan’s drug seeking, notts a mean drunk, fcg is a shitty therapist, until no it’s a serious part of their character actually, forget about all the times it was a joke and engage with it earnestly. No? You haven’t earned that and everything up to this point has actively undermined that kind of engagement.

Still fun characters for the most part. Sam ranks about in the middle of cast for me (the only correct opinion haver).

[nomairuins]

and also it doesnt even matter if i miraculously get a job tmrw bc we don't have a car . and im too out of shape to walk anywhere bc everything is far away . so i genuinely dont jnow what to do

[late-stage-lesbian]

Sorry if this is overstepping or anything but I saw your question in the tags of a post(the one about white people and reblogging poc posts) and I wanted to give my 2 cents ok it if that's ok(sorry again if it's rude)

So while it is appreciated that you do agree with OP and are adding something to the conversation, most times serious posts about racism are meant to serve as a beacon for poc, to bring attention to issues that were facing or that white people may be causing. By adding a white voice in there, even if it's agreeing it does take away some focus from the poc perspective on the issue in favor of a white person's perspective. It's unfortunate, and sometimes you can bring up a good point or raise awareness, but usually it's a good idea to do so on a separate post, or a post designated for both poc and white perspectives rather than a post made for poc experiences.

Sorry a final time, I hope this made sense? Either way ur question is valid and I hope this was at least kinda helpful!

This makes sense, and I really appreciate your taking the time to explain your perspective. Please don’t apologize for engaging in a productive discussion with me, I’m really just surprised that anyone read the tags at all 😂

I guess my question really should have been more focused on whether or not this still holds true if the commentary is in the tags of the post, because I always perceive the tags of a post as separate to the post itself. Like I treat tags like I might treat annotating a text - I’m drawing connections or notating where my personal experiences line up with what’s in the post. It’s almost like I’m talking to myself, and people can read them if they want but they also aren’t meant to be for anyone as much as they are meant for me to kind of process what I was reading and sometimes to signal to the OP that I was listening. And I put that in the tags specifically so that it doesn’t have to travel with the post if it ever gets reblogged from me.

But it occurred to me while reading the original post that I might be treating tags very differently than other people, and I wasn’t sure how that matched up with the post. And I don’t know how much of that is just my Autism manifesting in a way where I have misinterpreted the way this tool is meant to be used, or how much of this is my AuDHD having to process all of my thoughts to other people in order for me to understand them, or how much of this is just internalized white supremacy culture making me think I’m entitled to a part of the discussion.

TLDR; Do other people consider tags to be a part of the conversation? Or do other people consider tags to be independent of the conversation unless otherwise stated (like with ‘prev tags’ descriptors)? Or is there some other third thing?