#am i starting drama on purpose just to be petty? maybe

[usernose]

Don't brag about hating the new stuff in Megamind because of the reviews that probably also didn't watch the whole thing. And besides, it wasn't supposed to be in theaters. It went straight to a streaming service.

[skadren]

2, 5, 8 and 9 for Genesis!

50 random character asks

2. a canon or headcanon hill i will die on

genesis and sephiroth did not hate each other. dying on a hill implies there are attackers but i honestly don't know if this counts as a popular or unpopular take (the circle of fandom that i am in gives me a certain bias). but i still sometimes see this accusation floating around so i am willing to die on this hill defending genesis if needed

i know some people would say this verges more on headcanon territory than canon, but still: canonically, genesis joined shinra because of his admiration for sephiroth. he states that he wants to be sephiroth's equal. sephiroth himself calls genesis (and angeal) his good friends. that doesn't seem like hate territory to me

5. best personality trait

genesis is the kind of person who seeks out solutions, and if he can't find one he will make one. dumbapples can't be exported? no problem, just turn them into a juice that can be. he's going to die from degradation? fine, he'll work with hollander to fix it even if genesis dislikes him.

lots of people like to say he's petty or loves creating drama or holds grudges, but he honestly really isn't. he just isn't willing to let problems lie as they are if he can help it. which may sometimes look like he causes those problems on purpose. so maybe some people might consider this his worst trait lol

8. unpopular opinion about them

fanon genesis is the worst thing to happen to him since he was jailed after dirge's ending. no i am not taking constructive criticism

9. scene that first made me love (or hate) the character

so admittedly my first exposure to ff7 (including crisis core) was mostly fic? so it might not have been a specific scene from canon where i picked up on my fondness for him

but i think the thing that really kickstarted my love for him is when i started looking more in-depth at crisis core for my asgzc fic and i realized that there was a lot more to it than i had originally thought, for angeal and genesis's characterizations specifically. i know i talk about it a lot but the one scene that stands out to me the most for genesis is still the flashback scene in the training room where the english localization makes genesis way more aggressive and jealous and also way less homoerotic than he actually is, and thus make him way less sympathetic. truly, homophobia in action

[pathogenflock]

I feel like the way people act in the cc fandom, in terms of discourse, is very harmful. To others, yes, obviously, but also to themselves. This post isn't in response to any recent incidents (none have happened that i know of at least - I've been pretty disconnected from the fandom recently, mb). I wanna preface this by saying, first and foremost, that I acknowledge the absurdity of what is basically a heart-to-heart with a fandom for a facebook game LMFAO so lets get that out of the way, but it IS a game - and by extent, fandom - that I hold dear to my heart (no, seriously), so I kinda felt like a post like this would probably do some good, or at the very least wouldnt do harm.

In the time spent in this fandom, I have seen the way in which people treat each other in disagreements. It's hardly constructive, often vitriolic, and always rooted in taking whatever the opposing side has said in bad faith. I've seen massive, weeks-long arguments stem from tiny, petty disagreements, which would otherwise be resolved with simple communication or even letting the whole thing dissolve. (One thing to note is that I am almost never part of these arguments, more so a spectator, or sometimes even a mediator, so do take the way I speak about them with a pinch of salt.) I actually kind of get it, because I've been there. Sometimes you're in the thick of it and you're not really thinking rationally and your brain sort of kicks into high gear and you do and say things that are drastic and escalating because you're locked in this 'act now, think later' mode that just makes things worse. Or maybe it's a slowburn, never nipping something in the bud and just letting it rack up and snowball into a whole thing because you were, again, in the thick of it and convinced that doing something about it at the time it started would be the end of the world.

I digress.

If you find yourself caring about something to the point that it has a negative impact on your mental health — be it stress, anger, anxiety, sadness — I urge you from the bottom of my heart and with your best interest in mind to take a big step back to assess whether it is worth the emotions that it is causing. Ask yourself as many grounding questions as you can. Is it really that important? If I explained this to somebody out loud as neutrally as possible, would it sound silly? In five years, or three years, or even six months, will this matter? Compared to my other priorities, is this really that pressing? Ask this genuinely: try not to go into it with the purpose of belittling OR affirming your initial position.

Treat people nicely. Even the ones you disagree with. Not because you're expected to be perfectly and ontologically good to everybody, but to prevent the harm that you can cause yourself when bickering with people inevitably devolves into a pathological thing. Because it will! Anger is a very addictive emotion, and letting yourself be at the mercy of it is actively detrimental to you. Obviously, don't be a pushover and always respect yourself, but 'letting people walk all over you' and 'constantly being on the offense' are two extremes in interaction that you should never let yourself skew towards because BOTH these things will massively fuck you over.

If you frequently find yourself bickering with or making snide remarks toward somebody, if you are entrenching yourself into drama and discourse about this game, you may be causing harm to yourself. Little by little, this kind of stuff chips away at your mental state and it can leave you as a bitter, perpetually-on-the-offensive version of yourself. I know this because I have been there, and I wish I could take that time back. Please don't feel bad if any of what I've said resonates with your behavior, I am fully aware of how this kind of stuff creeps up on you and becomes tedious to unlearn by the time you're aware of it, so it's nothing I look down on, but it IS something that I want to stop from causing further harm to folks.

Beyond just this fandom, there is no specific target audience for this. Please don't think I'm targeting you. I worded this as broadly as possible for a reason. Likewise, please don't let your takeaway from this post be "Oh, I know someone who needs to hear this." There is no one thing that sparked the decision to make this post, I've simply looked back on past major things, that I have either seen or been told about, and noticed an overarching pattern of behavior. This fandom is and has been peaceful lately, so hopefully this is a good time to stop and soak this in. If you needed to hear this, I hope you take it to heart, and thank you so much for sticking by. If you didn't, then thank you for reading this whole thing anyway lol. Whichever audience you belong to, thank you for making this community what it is, because I could make a post that is twice as long as this one about its merits.

TL;DR: The way people treat each other around here is pretty unhealthy, not just to the other person but to themselves. It's a sadly ongoing problem that stems from a disinterest to engage in good faith with each other, a lack of proper communication, people's addiction to their own anger, and a tendency to perceive inconsequential things as worse than they are, thereby escalating them. This is ultimately harmful to your mental health, so I've written some ways to prevent it. This isn't targeted, don't think it's specifically about you or someone you hate, it's for anyone who needs to hear it and there is no shame at all in needing to hear it. Thank you for reading, and thank you for being part of this wonderful community (/gen).

thanks for making it this far have this extremely compressed jpeg of my wife

[willel]

I've wanted some kind of Jonathan and Steve friendship or comradery for a while. It may be because the actors have wanted this from the very start, but I am a big enjoyer of trios.

I despise love triangles that overstay their welcome. Especially love triangles that have already died and are resurrected because the writers can't think of anything more interesting to do.

Nah, I prefer a team of three pre and post love triangle drama. In real life I know it's probably way harder to get along with people you were previously in a love triangle with, especially if it ended badly or violence was involved. Which it was. But also see so much potential in a dynamic like that. The three of you have literally been through hell and back. Fought each other. Hated each other. Protected each other. At the end of the day, because of all that drama, you somehow know each other very well and can't help but want to stick around.

All that said, I don't like what season 4 did with this at all. Like I mentioned, I loathe zombie love triangles. I hate that they used Robin and Eddie's characters to dig it up and give Steve second thoughts about the whole thing. I dislike it even further than Steve doesn't have the decency to not make intentional moves on someone who is already in a relationship.

I think season 2 did a great thing by showing even though Jonathan and Steve don't exactly get along, he purposely got out of Steve's way and even lied for Steve about leaving the party to help a relationship that wasn't even his.

Petty love triangle relationship drama aside, no matter which side you land on or which ship you ship, I appreciate how they wrote Jonathan's behavior back then and I wish that had been extended to Steve. I also believe Steve would be the kind of person to lie or make up excuses for someone else from time to time, so why didn't they write that?

What I want for next season is basically the same thing, but better. I don't want more scenes of Steve trying to "win the girl". I want scenes of Steve trying to figure Jonathan out. What makes him different. Why did Nancy choose him? Who is he? I don't need Steve trying to fix Nancy and Jonathan's relationship, that isn't a requirement. I just need Steve to come to some kind of understanding about Jonathan specifically.

As an extension of that, I'd like Robin to do the same thing as I didn't appreciate her role in the S4 relationship drama either.

It's like they've both made up their mind about Jonathan without knowing him at all and tried to undercut him. I mean, that is something teenagers and young adults do so I'm not hating them for it. Just urg, why did it have to be written that way. They writers didn't have to do that.

On the reverse side of that, I want Jonathan to be doing the same. Who is Steve really? He's not that bad apparently so why not figure that out for himself? Doubtful they'll find a lot in common but hey, maybe they do find that one thing they can get along on and become friendly or friends?

If Robin and Steve are witness to Will (and El) being targeted again, maybe they can both come to an epiphany like "Oh, that's why he's like this. I get him now." (by that I mean, Jonathan's crippling fear of his family suffering or being alone, so much so he will drop EVERYTHING. School, friendships, and even relationships will take a backseat for the purpose of protecting his family)

I don't want this to turn into a "Gasp, I didn't realize you were sooooo amazing Steve!" I really want some mutual "You know... you aren't too bad at all." energy. It's LONG overdue.

Do I have any real hopes of this happening? No. Lol. This kind of stuff would require them actually writing Jonathan for once, which they haven't done a significant amount of in 2 seasons. My true hope is that they will completely shock and surprise me, pull a 180, and make a Steve and Jonathan friendship believable because I really do like the idea of it if it's coming from a mutual place of understanding and respect.

[butch-reidentified]

*NOTE* This reply is admittedly more just my thoughts and meant to share said thoughts with my own community on here rather than being intended as a direct response specifically to anon. I just think a lot of this can be applicable in a lot of situations, and so it's maybe worth saying. A lot of it comes down to a certain mentality that seeks drama constantly, especially on social media, which I frankly believe to be the most typical explanation for the reaction to my post yesterday; I suspect that the people who have been sending those anons are likely reading through the lens of a social schema wherein that sort of constant, petty drama is normalized. I'll elaborate a bit on this below.

I feel very strongly that I didn't make "wild accusations" when I referenced previous (documented) incidents. And as I alluded to in the post, I didn't make it to call her out/incite negativity against her; I made it with the intention of interacting with my followers/mutuals about my frustration at dealing with yet another instance in a pattern of behavior - especially when I had JUST logged on for practically the first time all week and that screenshot was the first thing I saw despite having no knowledge of any drama (idek what happened still lmao). I made it to get shit off my chest & engage with my tumblr pals about my experience with it, bc it was a whole shock, esp given I didn't even know there was any drama.

It seems like yall are not able to read and understand the purpose of the post. It wasn't for you, it wasn't intended to have some kind of #[url]isOverParty vibe, and wasn't even primarily about the specific things she's said and/or spread but rather a discussion of the type of behavior in general. I don't have any need to demonize her or convince ppl to "side" w me bc I don't have a side in this besides the I've Been Busy Touching Grass WTF Leave Me Alone side. Which, again, is why I don't care if yall believe me or don't, if yall search my blog or not, if yall are her best friend on earth or not.

Plus, I have a thing about not being super psyched to go to extra unnecessary effort to do a task for people who are actively doing me wrong or just engaging in behavior I find morally reprehensible regardless of context - and I especially don't feel particularly obligated to anyone who's been obnoxious/harassed me, especially on anon which I am extremely vocal about never ever using (except for like, deeply personal advice request type shit and the like) bc I think it's inherently devoid of integrity to rely on anonymity to engage in any negative social interaction. I have zero desire to put even the smallest amount of time and effort into doing a task I don't enjoy (as opposed to writing these, which I do enjoy in a sort of diary type of way) that the previously described sort of person is demanding of me but could do themselves, particularly when I did not at any point have any intention or desire to interact with said person or associates.

One of the earlier anons was rly focused on the fact that H "only" posted a side eyes emoji (this one: 👀) (anon wrote it "EYES" in all caps) in response to an anon containing fucked up lies ab me, and said I was "acting like H had been the one to make it all up." While she very much has done so in the past, you'll find that I have been using the term "spreading" rumors/lies, which does not mean inventing them yourself. She is doing that. If I got that anon ab any woman on here, never in a trillion years would I react that way. I find it gross to be seemingly jumping at any chance to start drama with someone, honesty and integrity (and often feminism, lbr) be damned. I'm far from the only one who feels this way about her behavior.

*Final Notes*

[1] I have never had sex with a man and have made this clear more than once before & never said otherwise. So the only reasons I can think of rn that any gyn on radblr could possibly have to accuse me of being into men (assuming it's not purely to instigate drama or try to upset me or something) would either be bc of a belief that real lesbians all agree with 100% of her takes OR bc of my trafficking history/porn of me existing online. I included this one for a couple reasons, one of which is that I've straight up seen it done here on radblr, I've seen a self-proclaimed radfem tell a lesbian trafficking survivor that she was "ruined" & other horrific shit; it was quite some time ago, but certainly stuck with me.

[cechk-art]

Slowly, sudden death

I put myself in these positions, watching my made up heroes, like a child. Fooling myself that this is salvation. Believing everything that happens has a purpose. Me, being in this constant numbing hell of pain and anxiety, is what I deserve. That being like this, I can maybe, become — become something — I just don’t know what something is, or if I want it. I fear passing by this Metamorphosis. I fear the change. Because I am changing. I’m no longer that person. I’m no longer in that hell. I’m on my own. I created it for me because I didn’t know any other way. It is my only way of seeing. No more. I started it. The moment I paused, alone and decided to see myself. To see that, this violence, this inheriting violence passed my own blood is not who I want to be. I just fear. Fear falling into my old and well knowing state of misery and desperation. Every day. I stare at blank screens full of noise. I do it because this does not allow me to hear my own noise. I am afraid. Of what? Of the screen killing me? Yes, of course. I am afraid of death even if I fool myself into thinking that being suicidal means that I am not afraid. The great lie. I wish I could believe in some sort of being to take me out of this turmoil. I just push it all to the back of my mind. Lock it. Tight. Encrypted with a blank canvas. I don’t remember the key. I forgot it. I could even make it all up. Is it more simple this way? I’m happy this way. Even if this knot in my throat constricts my breath, I’m happy this way. I’m no longer human. I’m a thing. I don’t feel. I don’t like it. Other people, I’m afraid of them. Afraid that they will look into my eyes and see. See that I'm an egoist. That I'm a fool trying to blind my senses, deceiving behind a mask. A role, a role that I have given to myself. The hard worker. The smart. The artist. The creative. The one who can beat any deadline.The good daughter. The good friend. The one that can keep others happy. The one who does not say no. A role. A mask. A clowning. Drama. Theater. I learned well. I stitched that mask onto my face like my life depended on it. It depends. I’m burning this one inside of me. She is locked. “For someone like myself in whom the ability to trust others is so cracked and broken that I am wretchedly timid and am forever trying to read the expression on people's faces.” Maybe I am god. After all, I create. I fought the fear. I painted it. I lay down all those colors. Maybe that is the only thing that matters. This thing. This power of creating. Is this god? Is this reality? It does not matter. I can only be in this. I raise my hands to the sky, oh! The great eye. I see it. It is me. Mirror, mirror, mirror, mirror... sink down with me. With my tears. I want to be this ideal. If I can just be beautiful so I can be happy. . I can do it. I can eat only cubes of ice. I am made of wind. I can transcend in my own ribs. I can throw up everything bad and look at myself in the mirror. Finally, finally… I am beautiful. I want to be beautiful. It’s petty; it’s frivolous, but it is the only thing that matters. It is the only goal. If I swim in the pain, I’ll transform. I know that I'm fooling myself. We’ll be forgotten. We’re machines for the processing of desires. “It takes less than ten minutes to burn it all down. You can make it disappear as if it never existed.” I watch those movies, in a foolish attempt at numbing my own mind. I put myself, there, at the barn, burning. I feel the fire. The blood. I attempt to throw myself from book to book, from movie to movie. To Faulkner to Dazai, from Sono to Tarkovsky. Maybe I think I can be as good as them, or maybe I'm just trying to feel safe within those characters. Because what I know is what keeps me safe. I know desperation. Even now that i’m safe, I think that i’m in danger. I project. I’m paranoid. So paranoid. Anyone will kill me. “It” will. It, is myself. I’m gonna end up doing it. Because I don’t know any better. There is no happy ending. Like in those stories. Or maybe, I’m just... thinking that this makes sense. I am a Widow. I’m mourning my own death. I died when I was six. Now I'm just another person. That other me died. I am afraid of a lot of things. But spiders are the greatest one. Maybe because they can draw their own destiny, while the only thing I can do is stand here, waiting for a god that has given up on me. I will catch this spider and put it on my shoulder. I will be friends with her. Until I realize that I am still afraid of her, of her destiny. And I will smash her as the clock runs. I can observe. This estate. It comforts me. Knowing that I am just the tiniest and most easily forgotten thing. I’m just a woman. Nothing more; Nothing less. The system, the universe, can handle the rest. I’m just passing by. I’m just this. I don’t have anything to prove. I am a forgotten song. I’m alive. I faked it. All this data. This safe box. I know the password. I know how to unlock it. I know what is inside. I know I have to unlock it. I know I can unlock it. I know I can. I know I can. I can’t…. I can??? I can! Maybe with some help. No, No one can help. It is my journey, my shadow. It is my cross, my secret. I’m the only one who can unlock it. “The world, after all, was still a place of bottomless horror. It was by no means a place of childlike simplicity where everything could be settled by a simple then-and-there decision.” ― Osamu Dazai, No Longer Human

[crypt-id]

Greetings. My name is Monte and my pronouns are they/them. The purpose of this blog is to examine and share my thoughts on Simon Alkenmayer’s “experiment” and the various pieces of drama that surround the character of Simon.

I used to be one of the “gentle readers” and I have become increasingly suspicious that there is more to this story than what the players claim. The release of the second “survey” has convinced me I am right.

I believe there is only one person behind the accounts of @simonalkenmayer, The Fool (aka @simonalkenmayerisdead ) and quite possibly also the rest of the blogs devoted to Simon Alkenmayer and their activity.

Think about it. The original purpose of the “experiment”, before Simon started going on about group dynamics and narcissism, was to examine what people will believe and why. In other words, how critically we, the public, think about information. How does what we already believe affect what we are prepared to believe? What sources do we find reliable? Do we believe facts, or emotive language?

So what do you do? First you create a character that will capture people’s attention. Maybe someone unusual, a bit edgy, a bit dangerous. Who is also older and more knowledgeable than everyone and perfectly positioned to be The Authority Figure. This character builds a presence and a following… Maybe by interacting with viral posts. Making sure he is visible. Says the odd controversial thing. And, crucially, they make sure to repeat that you will believe what they claim, if you are intelligent enough and can think critically.

After this character has matured a bit and become established, you introduce The Antagonist. This would be Simonalkenmayerisdead’s function. The Antagonist doesn’t need to make an effort to create an online presence because he can piggyback on the “fame” of The Authority Figure. His role is to create drama, introduce emotion and to push people to choose a side. Once you have committed to supporting one or the other, you become much more likely to believe what they say and to suppress and doubts and critical thinking. (At least that would have been my hypothesis.)

This explains everything.

Why Simon and The Fool keep mentioning each other and essentially drive readers to each other’s blog.

*Simon could have ignored The Fool but instead they keep mentioning him and making sure all the gentle readers know about him. Why would they do that if The Fool didn’t serve their purpose?

*Unlike pretty much all of the other “critical blogs”, Simonalkenmayerisdead doesn’t seem to have just a few objections to Simon. He moves from “issue” to “issue” and will criticize anything and everything, which makes sure that at any given time he will create at least some outrage. The Fool will also often appear petty, criticizing innocuous things such as recipes, drawings etc. This is a perfect technique to put people in a defensive position, and make Simon look like a victim. If you think about it, this behavior serves Simon much more than it serves The Fool. Why would he do that unless…. they actually share the same goal?

*The doxing incident. Simon has not doxed any of their former friends who have turned against them, even though those were people who supposedly had NDAs and Simon would have had their names and addresses, photos will have been shared in the Discord server, etc. But for some reason… they supposedly spent hours going through The Fool’s Twitter to find the ONLY PHOTOGRAPH in existence and shared that. And The Fool conveniently confirmed that it was him, when it would have been very easy (and make much more sense) to ignore it or deny it. As I see it, the only reason to do that is that the drama serves your purpose. (And if, say, you don’t need to spend hours looking for that photograph because you already have it.)

But the cincher is this question in the survey which ties everything together.

If you pay close attention, both accounts have been dropping clues about their real purpose for a while now. Maybe that’s another way to determine if the readers believe the obvious, stated “facts” or are able to read between the lines. And, I’m not sure yet, but I believe the rest of the critical blogs might also have a role to play in the “experiment”.

I will share more thoughts about these (and post my “evidence”) in follow up posts.

[bisexualdinahlance]

Not sure if this has been done, but Miraculous Ladybug AU where, whether accidentally or on purpose, Ladybug and Chat Noir reveal their identities to each other after the first battle. They'd been told they weren't supposed to tell anyone but in the end, better it was revealed to their partner and not anyone else! But they get a thorough talking to about secret identity keeping that Marinette internalizes hella hard.

Then comes school the next day, and Marinette literally walks into class to see her new superhero partner- who she hadn't even met before yesterday why is he suddenly in her school!- putting gum on her eat???? And is apparently best friends with Chloe??

They end up having their heart to heart moment a bit sooner, as Adrien wants to clear the air and is already pretty determined to keep his partner, and you would think it would be all Gucci right?

But Marinette, esp season 1!Marinette has never met a situation she can't make more complicated!

Marinette, feeling more assured in her partnership and her role as a superhero, remembers the lecture they got about the importance of secret identities and hatches a plan, which would have a built in failsafe to protect the other's identity should one ever get out.

Pretend that they hated each other.

No one would assume that the practically mind melded superhero duo could be two teenagers who fight like cats and ladybugs dogs! And if one of them got revealed, no one would expect that the other member of the duo is their eternal youthful rival. Marinette fights with Adrien more than with Chloe! Somehow!

That's right folks you've heard of fake dating to lovers and even rivals to fake dating to lovers but now you have friends to fake rivals to secret friends? Secret dating? Imagine all the shenanigans.

Especially if Adrien keeps his loud crush on Ladybug, and maybe like in a lot of actual rivals love square aus Marinette has an obnoxious (tho she claims is fake to the cat himself though she might be lying to him and possibly herself) crush on Chat Noir, and they just, argue about which hero is better all the time. Adrien definitely makes disparaging petty comments about how "ladybug would never do this to me" and "why can't you be more _____ like ladybug?" and like listen Marinette is the one who thought of this plan but he definitely gets angry texts later in class about how "but I am ladybug you JERK".

they both know the other isn't serious and honestly they even sometimes have a lot of fun with it?? They tease each other all the time in costume, do stupid challenges, etc. Etc. And this is in some ways just a game to them. Sure they wish they could actually act like the best friends they are around their friends, but keeping their secret identities is important and honestly, they'd rather know who each other is, and know the whole of them, know they can count on their best friend, etc. And have to pretend in school to not, than to not know each other completely at all.

Of course, there are two things that make it more complicated as the school year goes on. The first is obvious, while the love square doesn't REALLY exist in this verse, when they actually start for real catching feelings for each other after all the drama of the first few battles, it isn't any less complicated because they know who each other is. They end up being much more concerned early on about ruining the partnership, but also, it's not like they could yaknow date. Their civilian selves are supposed to hate each other!

Then their best friends start dating and they are forced to hang out and still try and keep up the pretense of not liking each other, and ohmygod the shenanigans these two get into. Throwing stuff at each other during lunch break when alya and nino drag them with them. Aggressively trash talking each other to the point of almost actually fighting while they are having a gaming night (now ofc for two teenage superheroes who use physicality to flirt, roughhousing is normal but for nino and alya they're more concerned that these two might actually kill each other oh no)

this is getting too long but honestly everything about this has so much humorous potential. all of those civ nicknames and gags we love for teasing cuteness? mocking nicknames come on. Mari telling Adrien that she bets he thinks he's hot stuff (wait you think I'm hot?- Chaton stop) and rudely calling him pretty boy. Princess turning from a cute name to him calling her spoiled. name-calling straight up turns into a competition. But also at the same time, these losers actually love each other more than anything else, they just also are competitive assholes.

Tl;Dr Marinette and Adrien find out each other's identities before they even meet as civilians, and in order to protect said identities, they pretend to hate each other in school.

[muse-m]

Title: No Party for Me

Levi x reader

Warning: fluff

Word count: 920

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Here you were stuck in an old large t-shirt and puma sweat pants sitting in the actors community kitchen scrolling on your phone.

You heard a large group come in. That group were your co-stars dressed to the nines. You especially thought Hudson, who plays Levi, looked extra stunning.

As they noticed you sitting there watching them file in, they were all confused as to why you weren't dressed up. Then some showed realization on their face when they remembered who was hosting this event for the cast members. Your enemy, Shannon White, another A-lister actress with a bitter personality, purposely didn't send you an invite to the very show you act in. Long story short, she is just butt hurt that you are a better actress than she is and that you told her to her face that her beauty privilege is what got her to where she was. She didn't take the truth lightly and has been out to frame you as a bad guy since.

Now how would the media react to you, y/n, not in attendance of one of the biggest parties celebrating the Attack on Titan series made with Netflix? Oh, the media is going to have field day with bringing up your said drama in the spotlight again.

The mood turned a bit awkward but I said, "Wow you all look amazing!".

"Thanks... it's just weird that you'll not be with us", Ashley said, who plays Hange. Everyone hummed in agreement and slightly dispersed to get a snack before the left.

That left Hudson directly in front of me with an unreadable facial expression. Almost confused looking.

I took a step forward towards him and said, "Did anyone ever tell you look dashing in black?", I said in a sarcastic tone. Hudson smiled a bit and said, "Why thank you. And may I know why you aren't coming and how you weren't invited to a party that you lead in?".

He must not know the beef between Shannon and I. Good. I'm glad there is at least one person on this earth that doesn't know about this petty drama between us.

I said, "As a matter of fact, she hates me and I'm not invited", I said with a smile.

Hudson looks at me like he was bummed. "Hmm. I didn't know that. You gotta tell me the story".

"Another time" I said while walking closer to him to adjust his tie. The whole time I could feel him staring at me, wanting to say something. But he doesn't. All I could feel was his breathing

I finished fixing his tie, then I loosely held the front of suit with both hands and looked him the eye. Wow was beautiful. Sometimes he emulates actual characteristics of his character Levi, which I admit on having a crush on the fictional character.

I couldn't help but be attracted to Hudson, or maybe it was because he was playing the live version of Levi. Idk.

What I do know is the tension between us and the butterflies I feel are real when looking at him.

To break that short moment, I said teasingly, "enjoy the night and don't miss me too much". Then I let go and take a few steps back. Hudson and I weren't together but the whole world wish we were. Me having boundaries and standards for myself, I refuse to date my co-star no matter how hard I fell for him during our 3 years of filming Attack on Titan.

I haven't confessed either. Not yet at least.

By now everyone, has had their fill on a pre-party snack and were ready to head out. They all looked at me weird again.

"OMG WHAT? I'll be fine, I'm probably going to do some cross stich or something." I said nonchalantly.

"But hey, do me a favor? Just tell how ugly she looks in her dress when you come back, i wanna hear all about it" I said jokingly. I'm glad it made them all laugh. When I first met this cast, they all got to hear me share some version of my beef with Shannon as if it was remotely interesting or relevant. But I'm glad they got the joke, except Hudson who only smiled.

Everyone started to file out and started saying their 'byes' and a 'see you later alligator' from Jean.

Hudson walked up to me and said, "now how am I going to survive this night without my co-partner". He refers to my character from an alternative canon universe, where my character, Leila, and Levi are captains of their own squads. In the series they have a hateful competitive relationship but all with the intention of saving the world from Titans. Despite their differences, they work wonders together. Some fans even say the characters are 'humanity's strongest couples'.

I respond by saying, "survive it just like every other party you've been to before you met me". I smile and tap him to turn around and leave. "I'll see you when you get back, unless if I'm out cold". He slowly walks out the doors and nods at me.

*sigh*

Now where is my floss and what am I going to stitch?

.....

A/n

Hi I don't write often and I had this scene in my head of an actress playing a character not in the original AOT but in this version she is and her liking the actor who plays Levi. Should I make this into a series? If you liked this please comment let me know. Give me some validation lol 😆

Thanks for reading!

[dystopiandilfs]

I am never been so close to anti-stan then I am right now. Dreams Twitter fanbase started the biggest hate train on him because they themselves:

1. Took his inital tweet with the drugs comment as a race issue, like it was obvious that was not the intent or even the focus.

2. Got mad at his completely rational reply to a toxic Stan that used both white and adhd as an isult - the toxic Stan was saying his fanbase will dogpile them, well if you didn’t phrase your concerns in a toxic way in a public place maybe you wouldn’t be concerned about it. Like he empasised he had no intent to relate it to rap - and they see him say rap and fucking ran with it.

3. Got mad at him for disagreeing with someone generalizing his 23 million fans as anti-black, like even his stance on stans is entirely anti-generalizing, he literally denounced any that are in the same comment.

4. Bullied him into unprivating his account because they can’t share screenshots apparently.

5. Got mad a him for tweeting a fucking heart.

Then they turn around and blame the entire thing on the antis, like no. You blew it out of proportion and reacted like shit to everything he did. You are the problem. All the responses to his last tweet are “educate yourself and reflect” and “come back with a better apology” like no. He apologized when he shouldn’t have and you cyber bullied him. They are bloody proud of theirselves for “holding him accountable“ for something they misconstrued.

He needs to delete that stan video because they aren’t worth it.

First thing i want to say is that this post is going to be joint answered as evangeline is white so this is going to be answered by her and me as im half african half american. Normally evanageline would be voicing her opinions and adding ours in if we had any but as its a racism issue she didnt feel comfortable to voice only her opinions. However shes the one writing the post apart from this bit to keep up the consistentcy of the blog page. -Trinity (Basically Trin gave her thoughts using a voice note and I slightly edited it so the sentences were a bit more coherent and added both mine and the other admins opinions as Trin doesn't really use twitter unless it's through my priv account - Evangeline)

I will say that a lot of the fan drama that you see are a smaller group that is known to attack and harass Dream and anyone who disagrees with anything. Eventhough they are a small group they mass reply to everything and make themselves look bigger than they are. Not only that but the only thing they end up doing is overshadowing the original issue at hand which is fans harassing and being racist to eachother. So a lot of what I'm about to say is mainly what this group is doing and isn't at all a reflection of a lot of fans but it is something that needs to be talked about especially since a bunch of this groups members are either white or white passing but get mad on black people's behalf and is basically setting them up.

I don't mean to be rude or dismissive but a lot of people used this as an opportunity to trauma dump. Like I know going into horrible details about what you have to deal with is the only way to get the point across sometimes however harassing Dream and spamming him with stuff like "I was harassed because I'm gay" "I was doxxed because I was Asian" is lowkey weird. Like why are you telling this random guy on the internet that you were doxxed? What is he going to be able to do about it? Also not to defend Dream but how are you going to sit there and break one of his few boundaries whilst trying to educate him.

On top of that the issue was originally how racist some of the fandom are to black people but then other minority groups started talking about how they were also being stereotyped and attacked but all this is doing is talking over other minorities. For example a large group of fans started off talking about how they were being attacked by other stans because of their skin colour but then immediately started to harass and threaten others. Like some were clearly not being serious but dming people and update accounts to retweet and spread awareness isn't the move you think it is. Obviously a lot of them were genuinely trying to spread awareness and were trying to get the respect and treatment they deserve but all of that was being overshadowed by the few that were attacking and harassing creators and fans. Then a lot of it turned into minorites fighting each other over who was more oppressed which just makes the whole thing seem like petty drama.

I will say a lot of them were lovely. I am pretty uneducated on race based issues and how certain things effect people and can be racist so I was asking a lot of questions and most of them were nice. However I also got a lot of snarky ones like "google it" to questions that weren't general like "Is it mocking to call white people crackers and token white boy if you are a white person" or "is ______ considered micro aggressions"

However as usual it went from trying to educate your creators to who is the most oppressed and who can bring up more past drama that has already been addressed multiple times. I'm not being funny but the fact that some well known Dream antis were defending Dream and shitting on stans should really tell you how non productive this is. It went from "Hey Dream this comment is a bit weird can you delete it please" to "Dream you should stop being friends with this person and you should follow this person otherwise your racist" Like that's not helping anyone. The only thing that it's doing is breaking Dreams boundaries, setting Dream up and making stans look bad.

Like people were @ing Sapnap and George telling them to "collect the racist friend" like how is that spreading awareness. The whole thing went from being a good chance to educate to a big fucking joke that just made a lot of people upset and anxious.

Honestly the whole thing was pretty fucking hypocritical like you can't talk about being harassed whilst harassing people into hearing you out. A lot of the issues seemed really gatekeepy to me as well. One that I saw constantly get brought up was that the only people allowed to say dy*e were black lesbians as they created the word. Like a big topic was a misuse of aave but not a single person actual explained what it was or gave examples all I saw was "mcyttwt needs to stop using aave language it's offensive" like you can't claim to be educating people if you don't explain. Not everyone can access websites and caards that get linked because of regions or web rescrictions so they're not helpful either.

HOWEVER I will agree that a lot of their points were completely valid like the whole thing of "Feral Feb" over shadowing BHM and whenever Dream listens to rap people complain and call it bad music are two really good examples. I listened to a few twitter spaces to learn a bit more and things that were said in there was all good info that would be genuinely helpful to know and it really did help edcuate me however not a single tweet said any of it and that's why people don't understand what they're doing is wrong because nobody explains it.

A lot of the issues that people had with Dream were so weird as well like a lot of them were self oppression and turning normal things into racism. A lot of the issues had the same energy as the 404twt fans who were genuinely mad at Dream for having a colour that George couldn't see and they were harassing him and claiming that he was purposely excluding diasbilities.

Usually we would add more but Trinity got a bit upset and stressed so she had to stop answering various asks and the other admins are all white or white passing and don't feel like it's our place to put our own opinions. We will try to answer other asks with similar thoughts later - Evangeline

[xxisxxisxxis]

Gateway Drug | Part Ninety-Four [PT.2]

Words: 2k

Warning(s): explicit language

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VIVIAN

"Who was that?" Mandy asks me as I hang up the phone after talking to Nikki.

"Nikki." I reply, helping her get the straps on her dress adjusted. 

She doesn't look like a conventional bride in her satin black dress that reaches just below her thighs. 

"Looks pretty." I tell her. 

"Thanks." She replies. 

I think for a moment before clearing my throat. 

"Are you nervous at all?" I ask her and she looks at me. 

"No? Should I be?" 

"I mean, it's just a big step, you know?"

"Not any bigger than already living together. It's not gonna change much." She says. "It's just a silly piece of paper to me." She admits. "I'm doing this for him, he's always wanted to get married--don't get me wrong, I have, too--but it's never been on my absolutely priority list like it's on his." She explains. 

"If it's just a silly piece of paper, why does it take so long to get it annulled, or divorce finalized?" I ask her and she furrows her brows. 

"There's a lot that goes into marriage, Mandy, and it does change things to an extent. But it's a good change." I assure her. 

"No offense, Vivian, but shouldn't you be worried about your own marriage before you worry about mine?" She asks me, a little aggravated. 

I get aggravated right back. 

"I didn't mean anything by it, Amanda. I just think you shouldn't marry him because he wants marriage more than you do and you want to make him happy. You marry him because you love him and you want to do it without the pressure of living up to a standard he subconsciously has placed on you. I'm just trying to look out for both of you because I'm his friend and I'm--"

"--Trust me, I'm well aware." She cuts me short. 

"Then act like it and don't talk to me like that in my own fucking house." I snap. 

She just stares at me and I stare at her. 

"You know what? I need to get going. I've gotta run to town. Thanks for your help." She says flatly, getting the dress back off and pulling her clothes on.

When she gets to the door she stops and turns to me. 

"I get it. You're carrying his kid and I'm the woman he proposed to when you wouldn't stay with him. I wasn't trying to be a bitch. I'm just trying to fucking adjust to this shit, because it's hard on me, Vivian. This whole clusterfuck is really fucking hard on me." 

"Like it's easy for me?" I ask her, scoffing. 

"I have to know I'm second to him, Vivian. Do you know how much that fucking hurts? And he swears up and down I'm first, I'm a priority, but I know I'm not. I know if both of us was fucking dying and he could only save one, he'd choose you." 

"Well, like you said, I'm the one pregnant with his kid, so…" I blurt it without a thought and immediately regret it. 

She just looks hurt--betrayed even--and slams the door shut on her way out before she gets to her car and squeals out of the driveway. 

"Shit." I say to myself. "Vivian, you shouldn't have fucking said that...what have you done?" 

I figured Duff would call shortly after and scold me. Little did I know the phone call would be skipped altogether.

"What the hell, Vivian?!" Duff says, slamming my door shut and I jump a little, looking at him as he comes to me in the living room. 

"I didn't mean to say what I said." I tell him. 

"Didn't mean to say it?! You basically told her you were more important because you're knocked up with my baby!"

"Am I not?" I ask him, raising my brows. 

"That doesn't mean you're more important to me, Vivian. That doesn't mean Mandy's second place right now. You're both important to me in different ways!"

"Oh, so if I told you Nikki and I were done and I wanted to be with you, you wouldn't leave her within a matter of days and be with me?" 

"Not with you acting like this." He declares. 

"Like what?"

"Like fucking--" He stops talking before he says something he'll regret, before huffing out a breath of air… "You're jealous, and I get that, but you're not treating Mandy like shit just because you think you have the upper hand, right now." 

"I didn't treat her like shit, I just said--" 

"--I know what you said. She told me what you said. I love you, but I'm not doing the petty cat-fight drama so cut it out." He states sternly. "And if you wanna play the, 'I'm carrying his baby' card, that's fine. Be the woman I just got pregnant. But she'll always be the one I married."

"She's also the one hammering screwdrivers with you at brunch, I've heard." I tell him, crossing my arms, trying not to be hurt by his words. 

"Whatever makes you feel a million miles taller than everybody else, Viv." He gives up, heading to the door before turning to look at me. "You're taking your medication like you're supposed to, right?" 

"Go fuck yourself." I snap. 

"That's what I thought." He says sharply. 

"You can leave now." I say, defensively. 

I thought that was that...thought.

"I just missed a dose or two, Nikki, honestly." I tell him the next morning, not necessarily telling the truth but also not lying completely. 

"Vivian, we're not doing this shit where you don't take your medication, again." He tells me. 

"I'm not doing it, Nikki." 

"And I've heard some shit about fucking lithium and you don't need to just miss any doses if you can help it. It can fuck your body up and if it can do that to you it sure as shit can hurt the baby." 

"Nikki, I didn't miss any doses on purpose, I just forgot." 

"Right, like you forgot to take your Nardil for three months in a row at times." 

"Can you hop off, Nikki, I mean, seriously. I'm trying here." 

"I'm not trying to get on to you, Viv, I just want you to take this serious."

"I do." I insist. 

"Then why is Duff telling me you went off on Mandy and him?" 

"Oh, he told you that, too? Along with my lack of taking my medicine on time?" 

"He's worried, Vivian."

"He should be. He's fucking his life up by marrying her." 

"Vivian." He snaps and I look at him, sighing. 

"We broke up. And within a few weeks, he's engaged to her, Nikki. They're getting married in two months, did you know that? Who the hell gets married five months after they have a breakup from someone they were in love with? Not to mention his drinking." 

"So what if the guy had a few screwdrivers at breakfast or whatever? I've seen Sharise throw back mimosas at ten in the morning before." 

"Champagne and orange juice is a lot different than straight vodka and orange juice, Nikki." I state. 

"Alcohol is alcohol." He reminds me. "And besides, he's probably drinking because he's under a lot of pressure with the band right now, and you're catching a lot of shit right now, and he's got a lot on his mind." He adds. 

"I do, too, but I'm not rushing into a marriage to try to convince myself I'm making the right decision." I mumble. 

"Nah, I think you and I both did enough of that five years ago." He replies and I realize what I said, and look at him pointedly. 

"I didn't mean it like that."

"I didn't say you did. I just think maybe you're taking something out on him because you don't want him to me the same mistake we did." He suggests. 

"Oh, so you're the therapist now or something?" 

He just stares at me with a little smirk, his eyes searching mine. 

"I'm gonna blame the exponential amount of bitchiness on the pregnancy." Is all he says before trying to get up.

"Okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." I say, reaching out and grabbing his wrist, and he looks at me and sits back down. "I'm sorry, Nikki, alright?" 

"There's a reason I wanted to talk to you, I didn't just bring you down here so you could start a fight." He raises his brows. "I wanted to talk to you about something important." 

I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear and he rubs his face. "Look, about the whole sex thing…" 

My face burns with embarrassment and I let out a breath. 

"I don't wanna talk about it, Nikki. Let's just forget it happened." I tell him. 

"No, don't do that, Viv, it's not anything to be--"

"--I cried and whined over not getting dick. Yes, it is something to be embarrassed about. So let's just not even acknowledge it happened." 

"You were crying and whining because I, your husband, wouldn't be intimate with you. It has nothing to do with sex itself, but the feeling that comes with it--at least that's what Amber told me." He tells me. 

I just smile at the fact he's actually paying attention to his therapist instead of blowing off her intel. 

"I guess you're right." I reply. 

"And I'm sorry for that…it's not like I just found out about the baby. I've known it since you told me. I agreed to work this out with you, you know? So I shouldn't have thrown it in your face that I'm not attracted to you because of the baby thing."

"Well...are you not attracted to me?" 

"The first session we had I was trying to get you on Amber's desk, Viv." He reminds me, chuckling. 

"That was before you knew I was pregnant, Nikki." 

"...It was?" 

"I think it was." 

"...oh…" 

"Look, I'm just as attracted to you now as I was when we first met." He assures me. 

"You hated me when we first met."

"Doesn't mean I didn't wanna get you under me." He shrugs. 

"Oh, whatever." I roll my eyes and he grins. 

"My point is that I'm sorry for making you feel like something's wrong with you or you're undesirable or something. The truth is, Amber suggested that we wait on having sex for a while until we're mentally stable enough to separate sex and intimacy from problem solving and apologies." 

"...And you agree with her?" I raise a brow, not believing my ears. 

Since when the hell does Nikki Sixx take marriage advice from anybody? 

"Yeah, I guess I do." He shrugs.

I just scoff.

"Viv, you said it yourself multiple times the past few years that sex doesn't solve anything." 

"I meant using sex as a means to brush things under the rug. Not just happy-go-lucky-'we aren't just doing this to keep our marriage from falling apart'-sex." 

"Was there a difference in the two by 1986?" He raises his brows and I'm about to argue some more, but he has a point.

"I'm trying, Viv. You know I am. I haven't tried barely at all, and you know that, too, so please, let's just see if this works." He pleads. 

"So, what, we're just not gonna do anything until we get our crap together?" 

"That's a good way to put it, yeah." He nods. 

Despite it being an inconvenience, it'd be well worth it. Maybe if we aren't so focused on getting each other's bones jumped, it'll give us time to actually grow up, some. 

"Okay, Nikki." I agree and he looks relieved.

I made a very deliberate point to stop by Amber's office on the way out.

[kuronekonerochan]

*deep breath, takes cover* so...about Start Up *activates shields*

Warning: This is a rant... a looooooooooooooooong raaant (pls read this in that long man jap commercial singing voice, if you don’t know what I’m talking about google it...it’s...wow).

First, let’s start with how I feel watching this drama vv

^^ Found footage of drama viewers who went into this hooked by the first engaging episodes thinking it would be a good drama and not crumble to the ground in the second half, after already having gone through Do You Like Brahms? and Record of Youth just in the past few months of 2020.

I think the problem with dramas this year is that the scripts seem like they were written without purpose. A writer should want to tell a story. They should have a clear picture in their minds of what story they want to tell. Of who their characters are as people and how they want them to be at the end and what happens to mold them into who they become and how they get there. 

These scripts don't seem to want to tell a story at all. The writers instead seem to have something to say instead of a story to tell. They want to say ppl are like that and they behave a certain way and so we end up with scripts like Do You Like Brahms? or Record of Youth with a million characters portraying relatable irl attitudes and it works as social commentary, but without a proper plot for a story they want to tell to streamline the whole thing it becomes little more than people watching that is interesting at the beginning as character study but quickly falls apart when it becomes apparent they have no idea what to do with the characters they've created. 

And in DYLB the characters ended up having no time to have properly structured arcs because they stopped the drama and filled the runtime with secondary characters demonstrating various forms of pettiness in human nature and when they got back to the main characters and broke them down they suddenly ran out of time to make them heal on screen so it was a rushed mess.

 Record of Youth was so worried with showing also a billion characters for the different types of ppl there were, that besides PBG, most characters had little to no development They were just there, there was no story it was all pointless.

Start up also had this  vast set of characters, each with defined personalities and individual issues to overcome: the sister with her internalized (and misplaced) guilt and her defense coping mechanism of lashing out on her sister and overcompensating stubborn behavior; the mother with her life choices; the grandmother with her past lies and current health issues; Dal Mi with her rage issues and her inferiority complex and her relationship with her sister; Do San with his confidence issues and his self sacrificing/self sabotaging bullshit; Ji Pyeong with his loner complex and his guilt towards grandma and back into her family and the unresolved issues with Dal Mi; plus the found family aspect, the team growing together, Ji Pyeong being begrudgingly supportive against his will and Nam Do San being disarmingly honest and kind to him even when they disagree bc that's how he is, even if he now stands up for himself and starts to be cheekier.

 And that's how the drama was going... until it wasn't. Because there was a sandbox competition and jargon and stuff to cram in there for conflict and a love triangle they decided to drag for some reason... and suddenly because some events needed to happen the characters start behaving in a way that makes no sense to their established personalities. Do San is blowing up all the time and him and Ji Pyeong hate each other all of a sudden... no more endearing bickering, pure vitriol; Dal Mi after the whole reveal with the letters never had a personal conversation with Ji Pyeong again; the mother had an out of the blue christian mea culpa...without barely talking to any character prior besides the MIL; and one of Do San's friends is pissed at Ji Pyeong, also out of the blue bc years ago he was mean to his brother and he killed himself. He is mad now, halfway into the competition...not when they met Ji Pyeong at their old place, or during the whole "fooling Dal Mi as a CEO" arc, or even at the beginning of the sandbox...just randomly now. Artificial conflict who?

 And Dal Mi and her sister...well the drama doesn't have time to unpack all that, or show a proper personal conversation between Ji Pyeong and Dal Mi, but this drama also needs to end with the family back together and Do San still needs to end up as the brilliant confident engineer he needs to be, and since him and his Sherpa, who should have been the one to nurture him (even with a bit of tough love), are now busy hating each other...well TIME JUMP TIME!

Character development on screen who? Do you like Brahms? Start up sure does bc they did the exact same thing...when you write yourself into a corner...stop writing, do a time jump and tell everyone everything already happened. 

This is latest mutation of the time jump trope is even worse than the usual kind. The romantic trope one was usually for self reflection, to make a break from the conclusion of the dramatic plot and transition smoothly into a happy ending (since killing off the bad guy, who one of the characters might be related to or had befriended before he went off the deep end and thus have conflicting feelings about, and immediately jump into the smooching mood might be a tad too much), or fix up the power imbalance in traditional kdramas (the female lead spends the whole drama as his secretary...time jump glow up for curriculum abroad so she doesn’t have to work for him all day before coming home together...not that sexy, kind of exhausting really), or simply kdrama trope tradition like the last minute amnesia...just because.

 But in our year of the devil 2020 time jumps are now where the meat of the plot should be. The emotional resolutions, the healing, the forgiveness, where relationships are mended and strengthened and the important events take place. It’s the divine spa for plot holes and lazy writing where scriptwriters sip their drinks and congratulate themselves for a work well done, because in the end it all worked out...their characters come out of the time jump spa feeling refreshed, with a new purpose in life at peace with themselves and all their struggles past them, just in time for a happy reunion, or just footage of them looking at cellphones and posters and talking about other characters so the audience knows all is well and they’re all pals now... and then they go back to their chores and the camera pans out (okay this one I realize due to the pandemic maybe having the entire cast together could be difficult, but at least showing them interacting one on one for god’s sake).

I know this was long and ranty, but I am getting tired of this new trend of  Don't show and don't tell...at least not to their faces. Go with "Oh, haven't you heard? xoxo gossip girl". I am all for good character study and social commentary, but maybe tell a story and then according to the actions of the characters give them realistic personality traits. And only then, after having a clear plot in mind, incorporate the characters into the story and not the story into the characters.

[ultrahpfan5blog]

Brooklyn Nine Nine: Season 7 Retrospective

Finally done with season 7. I'm pretty impressed that I managed to finish all episodes before season 8 began. But that also speaks to the bingeability of the show. Season 7 is one of the less eventful seasons of the show in terms of plot. Unlike the previous seasons, there are no plot through lines or sub stories that drive the season. Its a very light and fun season with no major darkness lurking throughout. If I had to pinpoint one arc for the season then that would have to be Jake and Amy trying to have a baby with the season ending with the baby's birth. So the season basically charts them trying and then conceiving and giving birth.

This season does feel a lot faster and that obviously has to do with it being the shortest season. All the episodes this season are enjoyable. The first half of the season deals with a shift in dynamics of the precinct with Holt being a patrol officer. The show has some fun with that, since it gets him actively involved in more frivolous activities like the Jimmy Jab games, having to deal with doing mundane duties and taking orders from Jake and Terry in various episodes. The first half of the season also has Vanessa Bayer as a guest star in a handful of episodes as Debbie and she even has an episode named after her. I know people have a mixed opinion of her but I quite enjoyed her kooky vibe. I think the show missed an opportunity not following up on the dead twin sister idea that was planted in the premiere. That could have been fun. We get returns from Adrian Pimento and Doug Judy. Pimemento is a fun episode.

Like I mentioned before, I enjoy all the episodes. However, the Jimmy Jab games II isn't quite the home run compared to its predecessor in season 2. Its not quite as snappy with the pacing and humor but it gives Rosa and Holt some nice moments as well as show how Jake and Amy have now grown as a couple but haven't changed in essence of who they are. Valloweaster is another strong heist episode and it has some neat twists. Its not quite top tier heist episode but it ranks somewhere in the middle. The show got a fairly big casting coup by getting JK Simmons in the titular role as Dillman. That's a strong Charles episode and a good one for the Jake and Charles dynamic. Its always cool when they flip the dynamic a bit.

There are a few episodes that I really love. Towards the top of the list is Trying which is the most serious of the episodes of the season. And its a very effective one at that. Having experienced my sister close hand through the struggles of conceiving, the episode rang very honest and true and in the end, beautifully bittersweet. I thought the way they handled how exhausting and stressful the process is was very well done and I like that they let the episode end on a bittersweet note. They didn't puncture the drama of the scene but they also showed why Jake and Amy work so well together. They are always there to comfort each other even during difficult times. The only thing about this that doesn't work is no fault of anyone, which is that Melissa Fumero was so obviously pregnant all season. It does make it a little more difficult to buy into it, but I can't hold it against the show. I also thing that for drama purposes, they should have held them actually getting pregnant for a few episodes. I suppose it was tough to do so given how Melissa was showing quite prominently and they couldn't hide it for much longer. Irrespectively, Ding Dong is also one of the funniest episodes of the season. As with every season, there are always a couple of Holt special. This episode is a Holt special. We get both petty Holt and vindictive Holt, with a gloriously reactive Rosa to boot. It also was a sign that the show was starting to wrap up mentally with them killing of Wuntch. I thought they addressed the rivalry and Holt's feeling of her being gone very well. But the episode was a masterclass of Holt insults. Similarly brilliant is Ransom, which puts the Holt, Kevin, and Jake dynamic in the forefront. Adding Cheddar to the mix and there is no way to go wrong. Only Andre Braugher can make you crack up with a fierce delivery of "you took the wrong fluffy boy" and yet have it be completely believable. The action scene with Holt is probably the longest action scene I have seen on the show. Jake's reaction to the whole thing is delightful. Like with the wedding episode, 'Lights Out' also falls into the standard "everything goes wrong during birth of child" episode. But its heartwarming and funny and very true to the characters. Pretty much everyone gets to deliver memorable moments. We get a great Rosa and Amy dynamic with Rosa taking care of Amy while Amy takes charge during a blackout while her water broke, we see Terry and Holt dancing to hip hop, we see Jake and Charles foiling a bank robbery, and we even see Hitchcock and Scully make a birthing suite for Amy at the precinct. Its a very fun way to end the season and it ends ironically with the words "everyone wash your hands".

In many ways season 7 felt like the show finally starting to wrap up. the ending of the Wuntch and Holt rivalry was one sign. Also the show completed the arc for Jake that I always foresaw for the character, where he went from being an irresponsible man child in season 1 to a responsible adult who became a father, without loosing his innate goofball charm. I feel the show successfully completed that arc, which was evident in episode like Admiral Peralta, where you see he is by far the most mature of the Peralta men. As a result, I was not too shocked when they announced the end of the show with season 8. With the events of 2020 and the way the season ended, it felt that the show mostly just needed to close the books on the characters in terms of their professional lives. The season was a fun blast. Its not the level of season 1, 2, and 5. Its better than season 4 and 6. So it lands along with season 3 at a 8.5/10. While its sad to see the show come to an end with season 8, I am happy it gets to go out on its own terms. I am curious to see where the characters land. Will Holt become Commissioner, will Terry become Captain, will they flash forward to Amy becoming Captain. What happens with Rosa and Charles? Captain Kim did open an interesting notion for Jake maybe joining the FBI. That seems like the right sort of career progression for him since he isn't interested in management type of work required in becoming Sergeant or Lieutenant or further. Whatever it is, I'm confident the show will end on a good note.

[akkalafuru]

Let’s talk about today.

Today I was involved in drama. Yes. I know. Surprisingly, that’s not a common thing in my life (at least not that I’m aware of—unless I’m the subject matter of a conversation that I never heard of or participated in. Does that count?) All this situation made me reflect a little bit on how I've been approached in today's discussion and I think it deserves to be addressed.

I honestly don't even know where to start... Anyway. 

Yes. I agree that harassments, bullying, threats to an author are absolutely inexcusable and unjustifiable. It many countries they're considered a crime and the offender must deal with legal consequences. So Yes! It’s wrong and not supported by me. PERIOD.

It is also true the fact that authors should get criticisms/audience feedback in order to sense where their next steps should be, especially in a serialized franchise (which yeah, it can be a curse but also an opportunity). Even if your favorite author may not change their story main plot, it's quite naive to believe they wouldn't consider the audience response at all; like never ever.

With that out of the way, the story is that someone wanted to call me out because I replied to Suetsugu's post telling I was upset because of her tweet. Other fans weren't happy either, but I was the only one who mentioned "taichihaya", so I guess i became an easy target. (Also, it's worth comment that the fan-police scrutiny is much harsher and aggressive when it comes to Taichi fans and taichihaya shippers. That’s a fact.) 

My post was not positive, but it can't be considered offensive either. And of course, the same way I was able to express my opinion, others have the same right to do so. I don't think, though, that singling me out, comparing me to actual harassers and bullies, and insulting me, are smart ways to address my or any other situation. The level of response I got was disproportional and extremely rude.

I was also accused of being a repeating offender and infamous for doing that, which puzzled me. I'm curious to know the sources and past proofs because those are very serious accusations. I honestly haven't been aware of this kind of behavior of mine, but if they're true, I need to understand what's going on so I can work on that on myself. As an advice, though, making plain false or baseless accusations only weakens one’s argument, so when accusing someone, they better be true.

And with this out of the way, I want to address some other points that I cannot let go of. 

I understand that we're all behind screens. All we see are profile pictures, nicknames and a bunch of text. But behind each account ( I’m not counting bots and fakes here) there's a person with actual feelings and their own circumstances. Unfortunately, the internet allows for the dehumanization of the "others", resulting in situations where the lack of respect is too evident. 

Going back to the drama part, as soon as I started the conversation, I was said "if you can't see your mistake, I won't waste my time with you" and then I was blocked after a couple of exchanges. What's the reason of calling someone out if they want to immediately cut off the communication? If this person was face to face to me, would they talk to me like that? If I am that waste of a time, why summon me to this situation to begin with? 

The words used were very rude and if I was in a vulnerable mental state, I would definitely take them more than personally and start questioning my self-worth. That’s a personal attack and a very destructive one. If anyone receives a response like that, please (PLEASE!) understand that it’s not about you! That’s a defense mechanism people use to mask their own weak arguments! Not only that, it also sounds entitled af.

I also understand that many people want to take action and show service for their causes and beliefs, and I'm very admired by that pro-activeness. There's definitely value when it comes to bringing change in the world to move our society to a better path. However, the ability to discern the actual threat/harm and make a proper judgement are as important as acting on it. That’s why actions should be taken with purpose and reason after proper evaluation and reflection about a situation.

In theory, it’s easy to tell the difference between what’s right or wrong as we get a lot of black-and-white examples; in reality, there are a lot more grays than one expects. This person was absolutely convinced they were right, and that’s fine. Again... it’s their right to believe so. It’s a shame they weren’t open for dialogue and basically treated me as the unredeemable, unforgivable perpetrator for something I didn’t do (?), throwing unfounded accusations after accusations at me; in addition to pointing fingers exclusively at me because I mentioned my preference, which seems to offend them.

At the end of the day, I believe that I at least have the right to express my take on this mess and my view on this person. I thought their judgement was poor and their action was extremely offensive. They lacked maturity, reason and critical sense. This situation was embarrassing, humiliating and completely unnecessary. Calling someone out just for the sake of calling them out without expecting or foreseeing a counter-argument is naive, plain stupid and immature. Giving a “last” word before blocking someone doesn’t automatically grant any victories to any arguments. So... I’m sorry if your attempt to “own” me failed.

I don’t care if people are frustrated or has a lot of time in their hands, but if it’s the latter, at least go find something useful to do instead of wasting everyone’s time by trying to give hot takes online in exchange of likes. All these attempts to make justice with your own hands—by exposing others and bringing them involuntarily to your mess—feels like you’re massaging your own ego, especially if you’re not open to communicate, nor educate, nor talk about this in a non-confrontational and rational manner. I was gonna mention cancel culture and online lynching (maybe online inquisition! that sounds pretty fitting!), but let’s not go there. 

I know that I should’ve let that go and not incite drama. However, I had to stop someone from trying to look good in front of their friends (tell more me about virtue-signaling. Ok let’s not go there.) at my expense by exploiting a situation that barely applies to their argument. The more they get away with it, the more they believe it’s right to repeat the same action. The more we become silent, the more they step on us.

Lastly, I don’t want to accuse this person for targeting specifically me for petty reasons. I want to quote this, though:  “tell me who your friends are and I will tell who you are.”

There’s a reason why this saying exists. Let’s leave at that.

Cheers!

[emersonfreepress]

okay so is there content that you had planned for the ROs and story in general but then scrapped cause there wasn’t a good place in the story to stick it in? and if so, can you share what it was? 👀 👀 👀

yes, definitely. *rubs hands together* oh man, you done asked THE question today xD I can't wait to get into this 😁

Academics. I almost decided to have classes and grades be a minor part of gameplay, but the more time I spent designing it the more I realized I wanted nothing to do with it 😂 I haven’t really enjoyed academic gameplay in other interactive fiction because I 1) hate having to choose between studying and interacting with awesome characters, 2) have terrible short term memory, and 3) hate school in general!! So instead I just opted to have the MC be really good at school, point blank period so I could focus on social drama and relationships instead! 😆

Physical skills. I spent literal months crafting the catering scene around setting up stats for stamina/endurance, dexterity, and strength instead of just magnetism, confidence, and persuasion. They had their own backstories with the MC’s parents being overly invested sports parents instead and I think the background choices were like... martial arts, gymnastics, and track? But yeah, I ended up scrapping it all because I was spending hours on research about those individual sports so I could integrate them into the MC’s narrative organically but like... when I tried to think of what use they would be in the actual story, I came up blank. Best decision yet, esp since it means a lot less coding!

Skin tone customization. For one, I noticed that a lot of my favorite IFs don’t offer that customization and it hasn’t impacted my experience at all. For two, I originally realized I might as well not implement it since I am striving real hard not to introduce any customization that won’t actually be mentioned in interesting or meaningful ways in-story. I don’t think it’s really all that common for real life friends (esp in high school?) to comment or compliment each other’s skin and like... when it comes from someone who doesn’t share a similar complexion or ethnic background, that type of commentary gets... d i c e y. So then I wanted to be sensitive to that but what’s the pay-off? An RO mentioning how they love your skin tone once? Awkward sentences with the MC referring to their own skin color? Idk, just wasn’t vibing with it. I’m open to revisiting it in beta or something but for now it’s scrapped.

Singing, Rapping, and Gaming as Hobbies/Talents. I feel bad about scrapping these, honestly 😂 They’re great and I really wanted to incorporate them but it just came down to already having a lot of stuff to code. Plus, I know I can write the Hobbies/Talents I stuck with far better. And for Book 2 purposes, as well!

Leo. as @sourandflightypeaches ​​ asked me about a long while ago, I had to scrap an entire RO 😢 His name is Leo, he was the nephew of wealthy west African diplomats residing in Emerson, and I love him dearly! His backstory was largely based on my mother’s childhood and the circumstances she lived through after immigrating to America. and... ok, i’m about to go on one hell of a tangent so buckle up and bear with me if you can 😅

my intention with this story, aside from writing things that I personally enjoy (graphic violence, spooky woods, social drama, romance, conspiracies 😚), is to explore greed, wealth, and how the ways people and families interact with those two things influence young people and who they grow up to be. here i go sounding pretentious af 😝 and here’s where I apply a cut for those who want to preserve a little mystery to the main characters!

With Gabe, we’ve got someone who grew up with very little stability or financial security but who has found unscrupulous methods to gain status and money, with both noble and selfish motivations.

Kile has some of that childhood experience in common with Gabe, having been in the foster care system since infancy, but they lucked out when they were adopted into massive wealth by a caring, loving couple—a couple that uses their wealth and privilege to be far more lenient and protective of Kile than is actually reasonable or responsible.

Jack comes from a prestigious wealthy family on his dad’s side who he loves dearly but there’s no getting around the fact that they love him back as much as they despise his working class mom.

Jessie is a spoiled sweet heiress (being the baby of her family and the only girl) and while she lives blissfully ignorant of the harmful source and impact of her father's income and career, she bears the weight of the expectation to fulfill very traditional gender roles, including her behavior and appearance, but also extending to her career and life plans.

Rain's wealth led to them growing up sheltered and isolated but also extremely accommodated, giving them maximum freedom and opportunity to discover and develop their personal talents and interests. However, they have almost no positive relationship with their parents who have essentially decided to give up on a kid that couldn't be exactly the accessory they tried to mold them to be—both in terms of their identity and personality.

Rupan/Rohan, at their very core, rejects everything about conformity, self-importance, and excessive luxury—which means they have never, ever truly fit in with their peers. Going full non-conformist, however, has resulted in them becoming alienated from much of their family, as well, despite them all loving each other very much. Their history with false friends and betrayals has led them to over-indulge in their vices and reckless behavior to compensate for that isolation. Sometimes, they just get in over their head and many times, they know better. Every time, it's just that the feeling of finally belonging is utterly intoxicating.

Vivian/Vincent has two extremely successful parents who didn't inherit but instead built up their wealth and they aspire to be just like them, to a degree that is well and truly unhealthy. Their mother specifically is an over-achiever and applies mountainous pressure for them to follow in her footsteps, especially academically. Vi is completely capable of achieving what their mom expects of them, but they were already an extremely sensitive perfectionist so this has made them intensely critical of themself. This is a large part of why they are such a rigid, no-nonsense person and that in turn has made them one of the most disliked people among their peers—which is a huge personal failure to them since their father is a very well-liked and socially successful person in town.

And the Emersons are peak privilege: inherent high social status, brains, looks, charisma, athleticism, and massive wealth. They could never have been anything less than extremely popular, just by virtue of their last name and the nature of the town's social dynamics and politics. And they do enjoy that privilege (esp Curt lol). However, it should go without saying that being so high profile, even (or maybe especially) just in the isolated scope of your hometown, isn't always a boon. Their family's and their own perceived failings are widely discussed and privately mocked and/or celebrated. Real friends are scarce while fake ones and snakes are plentiful. Plus their dad is a gigantic dickhead who sees his kids as extensions of his own status and reputation and not much else. Public shortcomings make for an unbearable time at home and the world outside the estate is at once overly accommodating, full of assumptions, and even subtly hostile at times—all unrelated to their own actions or character.

And with the MC, I think the narrative will make it clear there are several ways that story can go. You start off with irresponsible parents that have lost their wealth due to their own mismanagement and material ambitions—how that affects any individual MC should differ based on choices and consequences!

So why bring any of that up when I was supposed to be talking about my cut OC? 😂😂

Leo was going to be the unwelcome recent addition to his uncle’s household, the son of a brother his aunt hates for (petty af) Reasons, and she took that resentment out on him directly by restricting his access to nearly every aspect of the family's wealth. Especially material goods and living conditions. He was basically treated like the help, tasked with playing nanny for his many younger cousins and burdened with doing the homework and providing academic cover for his dumb as rocks cousin in the same grade as you all. To sum it up, he was basically a victim of trafficking at the hands of his own family with his uncle out of town enough to feign ignorance to how bad his wife was treating his nephew and his aunt going out of her way to keep him busy, at home, and isolated. This is sadly a super common form of trafficking in Francophone African cultures (although I don't think most people view it as trafficking. and I’m sure the same is true of other cultures but I don’t want to speak outside of my purview). And like I mentioned above, it’s how my own mom's (and idek how many cousins') child/teenhood went.

It’s a perspective on modern wealth, privilege and greed that I really, really wanted to tell. I am confident in saying it hasn't been explored in interactive fiction yet (though correct me—and direct me 👀—if I'm wrong) and out of all the wealth/greed explorations I came up with, it's the one I have the closest personal ties to and the strongest feelings about. The characters and plans I had for it were detailed and I'm proud of them but at the end of the day... I just couldn't find a place for Leo in the story at large.

Leo was, in fact, the last main character I came up with, when I had already designed and fleshed out the larger story and started crafting the timeline of major events. I think the worst thing I could have done for a story and perspective that I care about this much is shove it into a plot that didn't have room for it at the very base level, regardless of how well the character or his story is written. Shoe-horned characters always stick out. I didn’t want to disservice Leo by having him be the character that did nothing or could be removed from the main plot without affecting it at all, y’know? That’s so much worse than just forgoing the indulgence, imo :((

ugh.... Leooooo 😭 I'm so sorry bb, I failed youuu 😥

[imgoodloveenjoy]

What down, joe?

So I finally got around to watching the episode of ChicagoMed that we all missed due to those idiots at the Capitol. SMH but here we go into the MESS & my feelings lol

April

What does April want? That’s the name of her arc cause she needs to figure it out. I do feel her on wanting to stay in the COVID ward because it gives her a sense of purpose but her acting as though Ethan “took” that from her is ridiculous: 1. She never let Ethan know that she felt that way, maybe that would’ve swayed his decision a bit and 2. She’s been a nurse for what I’m assuming is years, she knows that nurses rotate positions in hospitals so her being rotated out to the ED shouldn’t have been such a blow- its almost like she expected special treatment & took it personally that she didn’t get that and was expected to rotate out like all the other nurses. In and regards to Ethan, she needs to figure out what she wants from him; it feels like she’s on the fence about resuming a romantic relationship, and that’s fine, but she also acts as though he should be doing things for her because of implied lingering romantic feelings- feels like she’s using him a bit and he’s being a doormat about it.

I’ve noticed that she’s moving as though Ethan should be a mind reader and know what she’s thinking and feeling for a while. When she discovered that she was having fertility issues, she lashed out at him without telling him about it so then he was stuck on stupid thinking they were still on the same page about having a baby. When she was feeling like there wasn’t any romance in their relationship since starting IVF, she took that out on him without telling him how she felt. When she felt like she found her purpose in the COVID ward, she didn’t say anything to Ethan, just gave him attitude. Girl, he’s not a psychic, tell him what you’re feeling! I do feel like the storyline of her getting involved in the Will’s new crusade with the trail medicine is a way for them both to undermine Ethan, his new elevated position and the new hierarchy in the ED – neither of them respects him as a peer or senior at this point.

I would love for April to have something else to focus on. I know that the writers have talked about her re-assessing how she’s maneuvering as a caregiver & I think that’s great! I feel like she can receive more responsibility, like a sort of promotion (idk what that means to nurses), and has to work through the struggle of those new responsibilities (without Ethan trying to save her) and become a more confident & capable nurse. I do think eventually she has to sit with herself and assess her personal life: does she still want Ethan? If not, she has to sit down and discuss that with him, set some boundaries; I think she needs better communication with him in general but this would be a good place to start.

Us: “April, tell us what you want. Make a choice.”

April:

William

Will absolutely demonstrated why he isn’t the Chief ED in this episode but one thing that really irks me about this character is that he does thing so totally left field and reckless, but the writers always manage to redeem him in the end, and it moves along as though he was always right. I’m waiting for the day the writers let Will really feel the consequences of his actions; he really needs to sit and think about why he rushes into situations the way he does. And why the hell did Maggie apologize to him? She should’ve questioned Will about how she felt he was being blind to his crusade; his patient’s daughter specifically told hm what type of treatment she wanted for her father and he ignored that…GIRL! Let that have been Ethan or Natalie LOL. And every time he does something like this he comes out smelling like roses…I’m tired of it.

I also feel like Will is acting more impulsive because he still is upset about the Chief position and doesn’t want to accept Ethan and the new hierarchy of the ED. Its like him being a part of this clinical trail give him the authority position that he wanted in the ED but didn’t get, not really about him being really interested in the trails. It’s giving me “I don’t respect Ethan” vibes & I would appreciate it if he just said that.

Ethan

Ok so I feel like with this episode, Ethan did really leave April alone except for things that were related to work and that’s what I want for him moving forward until she figures out what she wants: keep it professional. But I don’t like how he’s handling April with kid gloves; I get that he still loves her, it’s evident, but he needs to show her that he won’t be a push over for her, that she can’t use their connection to get her way & then give him attitude when he does his job as Chief of ED.

There is such a wedge in Chexton that it doesn’t even seem worth it anymore and the writers said that Noah is going to cause even more problems, at this point, but my ship in the harbor and let us disembark. I love Chexton but this is ridiculous, they have these characters walking around not communicating with each other like children even though I’m sure these characters are pushing 40!

I would like for Ethan to continue his mentor-mentee relationship with Charles; I feel like that will help Ethan determine the type of Chief he wants to be and how he wants to run his ED. He also needs to make it clear that no one will be getting special treatment (April and Noah) and try to establish communication, trust, collaboration, and accountability (Will) in the ED. For Ethan, getting used to this new role is his drama, he doesn’t need the extra mess with his love life at the moment; it would be good to see him grow in a way that sticks from being Chief of ED. Also free Ethan from the shackles of April, please LOL.

Mancel

I’m kinda on this ship LOL. IDK what it is about these two but I kinda like it…I think it’s the fact that Marcel can be vulnerable to Natalie and she gives him the space to do so without judgment. Natalie confronting Marcel about his one-night stands and then just leaning herself onto his back, then his face being so content just made me swoon a bit, I can totally understand Natalie’s attraction to him with this new attitude. I know that his ex-wife will be making an appearance that will surely shake things up with them but it can be a moment for Marcel to determine if he wants to pursue a relationship with Nat or continue being a committed bachelor. The direction the writers are taking with Mancel is the only good thing they’re doing IMO; it’s giving me an insight to Marcel’s pathology – he feels like a person who runs when the going gets tough cause he doesn’t want to be vulnerable but his attraction to Nat and the type of person she is will make him want to stay and work through the hard stuff.

The Writers

I am TIRED of y’all. TIRED. I’m so done with the way the writers make characters regress to build up other characters/relationships. They had Manstead going but then as Chexton took off, Manstead crashed and burned. Chexton was cruising along, now they’re floundering as Mancel is taking off. What is going on? Can no one focus on more than one relationship at a time? And why are the characters going through the same development that they went through in past seasons (Ethan, Will). Like they went through that, their characters were better then all of a sudden, its back to square one and then on top of that, no one is communicating with each other, just getting upset in their feelings. You know y’all don’t have to do that, right? There are ways of challenging characters beyond regressing them and focusing on their love life screw ups. Do y’all need a more diverse writing room? Some new people to bring in fresh ideas? What is it? What do y’all need to keep this show from being too predictable and unnecessarily messy? It’s like they don’t realize that the characters and viewers of the show aren’t teenagers, we’re grown ass adults so petty relationship drama isn’t going to satisfy us. I would give them more free game but they’re gonna have to pay me LOL.

Me to the writers:

So i guess that’s all until next episode of ChicagoWhatTheFuckAreTheyDoingOverThereMed Z.