#am i going to get a good grade on mental health yet

[altruistic-meme]

I have done some Chores

[veaspo]

Hiii!!! Could you do Tim wright but years after marble hornets, so he’s like 38-39 now as a father to a teenager. But like the teenager is edgy like dresses edgy and has edgy hair, yet is sassy and sarcastic like him but can be super hyper even though they are introverted. But they struggle with mental health a lot. But Tim isn’t their biological dad he’s just like a father figure to them. If you can!!!! Have a good day!!!!

IM NOT GOOD AT WRITING ANGSTY STUFF BUT IMMA GET THE JOB DONE, TRUST.

I'M SORRY//TIM WRIGHT X TEEN!READER

You had just woken up, you weren't really a morning person because it would just be a repeat of the day before. Get up, Eat, Sit around the house with your dad, and Sleep.

Your life was never really enthusiastic, your parents weren't the best people, when you were a toddler or so they just up and left you on the side of the road.

You were lucky enough to be found by Tim, your now father. Only a few hours after. You had to be pulled out of school around freshman year because people wouldnt leave you alone, you were just quiet but occasionally loud..not often though.

Tim noticed a change in your behavior regarding school, grades slipping, getting in trouble more often, caught skipping classes. One time he caught you skipping the entire school day.

He sat you down one day and had asked you whats going on, "Sweetheart, tell me what's going on. You were never like this before, I'm worried."

After he said that, a lump had formed in your throat. "I-i get picked on everyday..and I just think about like how life would be now if my parents didn't just up and leave..you know? Like what if I wasnt the way I am now? What if I was popular and had a bunch of friends?"

Tears were forming in your eyes.."Oh sweetie, come here." Tim said. You scootched closer to your dad and he hugged you, he hugged you like it would've been the last he seen of you.

"Why didn't you come to me sooner, sweetpea?" he asked. "I just didn't know how to bring it up to you, i'm sorry." you said, now balling your eyes out.

"Don't apologize, it's not your fault."

You were lucky to have an old man that understood..

------------

guys guys guys this was my first angst, how'd i do🤼‍♀️

did it serve? or did i get cooked?

Feel free to leave requests and tips! 💙

ALSO YALL SMB THAT INSPIRED ME TO START WRITING LIKED THE DND WARRIOR REQUEST HEADCANNONS AHHHHH.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the asshole for breaking up with my boyfriend?

I (32F) broke up with my boyfriend Jack (30M) a few months ago over a couple Issues I've been dealing with: I found out I have a degenerative issue with my eyes and will be going blind, and his dad hates me for being as he quotes "fat, uneducated, and bad with jobs". Note: I am infact obese, I do not have a college degree, and had lost my job 3 times in a row in 6mos before I hit the stable job I'm at now, due to mental breakdowns at work.

Jack has lived with his parents his whole life, and revers them greatly. However I can tell he's going through the same thing I did with my parents- Where they prioritized him getting good grades over his mental health, he constantly apologizes and thinks I will hate and abandon him over very simple things, he rather delve in games than face his problems, because he thinks he is comfortable when it's very much making him feel worse.

I cut contact with my parents 3 years ago for these exact same reasons- They were overbearing, abusive, and without another way to say it: extremely catholic. Because I was financially dependent on them and didn't know any better, I thought I could live with them as an adult because of how expensive housing is where we live.

Eventually I had to start getting therapy because I would have meltdowns so often in school, and found out it was the way that my parents treated me when I was younger, and that I have AuDHD- something my parents denied as me being too stupid and lazy to do anything after high school.I got on medication and though my ADHD improved, i had to continue therapy due to my Autism now having more time to focus and overwhelm me and having to learn to unmask. I've been told my personality did a 180 over this from peers that hadn't seen me pre-pandemic, but I'm happier now, and eventually found a way to move away from my parents and living with my Uncle instead, who instead of belittling me is encouraging my therapy.

I am explaining this, because Jack does the same things I do- he's almost the exact same as I was with my parentls. He has constant meltdowns and spirals, he thinks he's worthless because of the way his Mom and Dad treats him, yet he keeps putting his parents on a pedestal. It's because we seemed to grow up in the same kinds of environment that we bonded and eventually started dating last year.

Us openly dating did not last long, though, because when he introduced me to his parents they immedietely did not like me. They did not like that I wanted to help with dinner, or refuse eating chicken, because Jack is severely allergic to it. They also did not like that I wanted to clean the table and kept sidelooking at me whever we talked.

Because of this simple lunch, for months, they pressured him to break up with me but he wouldn't. He said he loves me as I am, and his parents are just stupid. We even had to start keeping the relationship secret, because his parents would harass him for coming to just pick me up, or meet me at a tennis court so we would play a game or two. His parents can track him through his car, so they always knew where he was.

I told him what I had to do to leave my parents house, but he said it's too hard to do that. My Uncle was sympathetic about this and even discussed with him to move into our house, but he refused that too.

Last month, I went to a vision doctor due to headaches and blurrier than usual vision, and found out that I would be losing my eyesight due to something going on within my eyes. Its extremely stressful for me, and dealing with that, and the constant harassment from Jacks parents, I got very tired. it was getting to the point where he couldnt go out without his parents yelling at him about me for something, we only hung out for once day per month. I didn't want to give them something else to yell about me at him, and I felt it would ease his stress because they would stop bothering him. And, though it seems weird, I hoped it make him uncomfortable enough to do something for himself. So I ended up breaking up with him.

It has really hurt to do this to him- He's someone I love dearly, and he's taken it way harder than I thought. He won't listen to me, But. He does listen to his friends- it's how he asked me out, and at least try out therapy, his friends hyped him up about it so he did it. I feel if his friends help him realize what he needs to do, he'll be more inclined to help himself than me just telling him. And if not, his friends are still there to back him up than me staying near him and having his parents harass him about it.

His friends are mad at me though, and told me I should have just put up with his parents, because in the end I am in love with him and that I actually made the whole situation worse, because he has loss motivation. Even though I am still talking to him and still there for him alongside his friends- I just make myself scarce so his parents don't know we talk. Am I the asshole?

What are these acronyms?

[ultfreakme]

I broke my silence. Nah, I need someone to talk to me about JonJay, since they are still underrated by the fandom. Like, they started being hated out of nowhere. That nonsense about Damian hating Jay, about what if Jon showed Jay Damian, he would immediately reject it. Demi is literally a fan of Jay and his blog, he literally contributed to Jay and Jon getting together at the 2022 Pride, Jay calls Damian by name and basically sees him without a mask in his real guise, which suggests that he trusts him just enough to show his real personality. He praises him, well, to many of his friends and even relatives (Grayson). This is complete nonsense that the fandom made up is killing me. People also say that Jay is not registered. What? Like, yes, I would also like to know more about him, but this does not mean that he does not have a personality. The entire plot of the comic revolves around him and his story, how in this case can he not have his own character and personality?( like, we literally see that he is a very brave and smart young man who knows how to make difficult decisions. He is also quite daring, he won’t go into his pocket for words, he can express everything he thinks. Jay is very smart and cunning, he knows how to achieve his own and will stand by his interests to the last.) It really scares me how people either don’t want to understand his character. I also saw someone talking about how Jon might cheat on Jay and Nya because the author of her comic released a post about the SuperDreamer (that's what the ship is called). What? In terms of, this bro refused to kiss his boyfriend on the another universe simply because it's not his Jay and people seriously believe that Jon will cheat with another person when he's literally loyal to only one and we're literally shown that, well, he's incapable of cheating on Jay because so much loves him. This is so stupid. Yes, after all, in one of the comics Jon calls a day with Jay “Mental Health Day.” I don’t understand what’s wrong with people. And it seems to me that no matter what happens, Jay will always remain Jon’s main and important love interest. My beloved boys deserve more attention and love from the fandom. I hope that someday they will grow to realize that they are perfect for each other and only at this moment will I find peace

Anon, Anon you are so correct and I love you and I have been sitting with this frustration since 2021 and I am tired.

I know exactly why people don't give Jay a chance:

Xenophobia

Racism

Biases against actual queer people

It gets in the way of the fanon ship; Damian x Jon

A good 99% of the hate I see comes from Damian and Jon shippers who were, for some reason under the impression that Jon being bisexual means he will date Damian....who is not only 3 years younger than him but also just barely out of middle school while Jon is in college.

Most people are still also attached to Super Sons comics, and have yet to come to terms with the fact that Jon is aged up, he is not getting aged down, and Super Sons as it once was is not coming back. So they don't bother reading SOKE or AOSJK or any Jon appearance that occurs where it's JUST Jon (because if you've noticed, the jon kent tag is all damian because they see Jon as Damian's accessory and love interest and not an independent character).

Super Sons mischaracterized both Damian and Jon egregiously while being racist and sexist towards Talia (one very easy example; Damian hates going to school because he's far surpassed that academic level & really only needs school for socialization. Why would Damian who was older than Jon before, willingly go to a grade 3 times below his own where Jon lives, where he needs to get to by helicopter??). Reading that alone means people don't understand Jon, Damian, or Talia(or anyone really).

So when they learn that Damian actually LIKES Jay, that he liked Jay first and enough to introduce him to Dick and potentially a bunch of other batfam characters, they just can't stand it. How dare Damian get in the way of fans shipping him with his best friend(who is 17/18)??? Wdym Damian is happily dating a girl named Nika aka Flatline! Now let's be sexist to the 14 year old girl and call her evil manipulative bitch!!!

Why on Earth would Jon like Jay??? He's not Damian!

And that's another thing; Jay is not Damian and that is all these haters need to destroy Jay and dismiss him. This isn't about character arcs, or canon, or storytelling. It's about being mad that fanon isn't real.

I used to try to get them to at least give SOKE a chance. I wanted to be polite and have a proper discussion but things got overtly racist. I've had people tell me that Jay is seducing Jon, he is evil, he is a criminal who has no morals, he isn't "Asian enough". Me and a bunch of twitter mutuals experienced actual racism, towards ourselves, when talking to these people. I had to delete my account because it was affecting my mental health and I couldn't take it. We also experienced lots of biphobic and homophobic takes (especially about the pink hair which was very fun for a bisexual Asian with pink hair at the time). About how Jay is some "kpop knock off" or "creep" because he and Jon shared a fully consensual kiss. Like yes Karen explain to me how the immigrant Asian kid who just wants to save his country from a colonizer is evil because he kissed a white boy. Do tell me about how he's "mind controlling" Jon to love him. We didn't even have those words thrown around when Saturn Girl legit mind-controlled Jon. But of course! It's because she's white and no one actually read that Legion run. It can pass for heterosexual so who cares!

And the cheating thing grinds my gears it actually makes me want to go scream.

SURE! Let's have the bisexual character cheat! You know let's just forget about how bi people are already stereotyped as sluts and cheaters. Or that Jon's Superman and he straight up said "I'm not going to cheat on Jay."

I think Nicole Maines isn't going to touch JayJon, her run with Dreamer ends around the same time as or before Pride Month and we are getting a pride month jayjon story(unconfirmed yet officially but a cover artist is hinting that's the case). If she does though, if this story is signed-off and it happens through cheating I'm just gonna have to stop reading DC.

I think cheating plots are idiotic, especially with Superfam. Their whole thing is "truth justice better tomorrow." They strive to do good and be kind and honest. Wtf am I taking away if you so severely hurt a person you claim to love? I think they are a lazy and a cheap way to generate bad drama.

If you want drama and for SuperDreamer to happen, at least make JayJon have a proper break up. Making Jon cheat would assassinate his character and Dreamer's because NIA KNOWS JAY. In the story Nia's appearing, she's being sent in to attack Jay's country. It's not even a character flaw atp it's just you two are being hypocritical and choosing to hurt a friend who's done nothing but be kind(lest we forget, Jay was cleaning up Jon's reputation and lost his secret identity FOR JON. He's the one who stayed calm while Jon was about to fight when Nia first showed up).

If Nia is chill with Superman cheating with her on Jay and is simultaneously attacking his country(though it is under Waller's pressure), I will simply leave. What's the point? It's not like POC characters in Superfam get enough respect anyways, especially the Asian ones (I see you Kong Kenan, I SEE YOU). The Steels are fortunately getting more time but that happened after decades and decades (and I've still got no news on Nat and Traci 13 DC GET IT TOGETHER, Nat still doesn't get enough focus imo). I sound really mean towards Dreamer rn but I actually really enjoy the Jon and Nia friendship. I just fucking hate cheaters though, those kind of plots are always exhausting and ill-thought out and the characters become garbage. Because like, you're a superhero, a symbol of goodness and striving to do better. Cheating is actively taking a decision to hurt a person in a deeply personal way. Why would I believe a single thing you say about "truth" when you can't even give that to someone close to you?

I think we should just let the haters stew on their nonsense and find people who create a positive fandom space. My block list for blogs and tags is a mile long. If they can't see how well-written and balanced Jon and Jay are for each other, that's a loss for them and they may....continue to seethe or whatever it is they do.

If you aren't on the supertruth discord server yet or know of it, I'd highly recommend joining!! It's very fun

This was a mess of a response and I let my emotions get too far away from me I am so sorry. I really understand you Anon <3<3 Hugs and comfort from me!!

[kraro-school-life]

A little update on my life rn:

I am sick. Like stayed home and cried multiple times because my throat hurts so fucking much sick. Whoever is trying to strike me down is doing a fantastic job :) The multiple weeks before haven´t been enough? Yet I still need to get my shit together, because so much is HAPPENING and I didn´t feel like writing by hand. So here´s my (kinda) journal entry.

There is this one art competition, which my teacher signed me up for. And I haven´t been able to work on my project the whole summer and the deadline is in 1,5 weeks. This IS optional regarding my school grade, but this is like a significant competition and my teacher and me think I have, eh, at least a decent chance at getting podium? I have a fully thought out, detailed idea... but basically only 2 sketches. And now I have to decide: do I go for it and start even though it´s gonna be HELLA (extra!!) work and might not garantee podium. The thing is, I don´t know if I´ll even finish this thing. Or do I just give up. Which, now that I typed it out, sounds crazy. Why would I give up? (Because Im so tired and stressed and all this work is not good for my mental health, bud did we ever care about that? haha).

Now that we got that out the way, MORE FUCKING DECICIONS!!!1!!!1

And not like small ones, no, the art comp might give me valuable clasification, that´s hard enough to decide. Now I have to decide what subjects I want for my Abi (exit exam). Are you being fr?? I knew this was coming but isn´t next Monday a bit too soon? Bro. Anyway. The thing is - I need to decide. And for that I need to do research if the subjects matter and how much, if specific degrees require subjects... Do I look like I know what I will be dooing with my life. So that.

I need to get info about a 10 day school? project I´m a part of. At least I hope it will be a fun trip. (Not fun making up all the work tho).

I am also responsible for my grade´s yearbook, which I also need to get started on immidatly. But for that I luckily have a friend that can help me out the first 2 weeks so I don´t have to stress as much. (I volounteered, but still. Someone´s gotta do it right.)

Generally uni research and qualifications are something I HAVE to get started on. Just yesterday I was in 9th grade wth?! I hate this transitional period. So much potential for mistakes, so many choices.

And school ofc, because assigments don´t know what a break is <3:

Religion presentation

Physics research

Philosophy hw (excerpts)

Eco hw

School art project finish

History hw

gonna brb trying to make a realistic schedule with all this shit.

My god is being a functioning member of society difficult,

Hope I don´t fuck myself over,

xoxo - ♦️

[ngaatee]

For the People Academia Breaks

Hey so I am going to get something off of my chest. Last year I got a postgraduate degree in philosophy and it was actually one of the most devastating experiences of my entire life.

I have always been someone with big ideas, and my favourite aspect of philosophy has always been the way that I can blend different ideas to address current issues, especially if something about those ideas sometimes veer into using my imagination. So when we got to choose our thesis topics, I jumped to do something ambitious, something impressive, something grand. And it was. I posed the following question: What would an African feminist ethic say about posthumanism and transhumanism as it pertains to the right to bodily integrity?

This question meant the world to me. It means the world to me. There was so much to get into, so many ideas, and so little published philosophical work on each section of the question. It was quintessentially me.

Ambitious, important and interesting. And I did fucking do it. I didn't get the high grade that I had hoped for, but I got a high enough average should I pursue further higher education, I had gotten a high grade for a concept I essentially invented and built from the ground up, and I had yet another fucking degree after a year plagued by illness, piss poor mental health, worse financial management and not a damn clue what I would do next.

I had also excelled in my other classes and so I was going to take the win and move on. I was in a space where what mattered to me was that I had what I needed for the next steps. Academia career, and somehow reforming education, those have been my goals forever, So I had my grades and set out to get reference letters and one person I asked was my supervisor. And that, dear reader, was when it all went to shit and my mental health sunk to a new low.

My supervisor and I had not had major conflict but I was ready to move on for a variety of reasons. I had tutored one of her classes and had reservations about her methodology and when opportunities for feedback came, I was as honest but diplomatic as possible. I was not the lecturer. When she became my supervisor I had looked in the guide and I had thought that she was going to be the right fit. But in some ways I always felt that my work was not my own, and often times my work became a site of ego. But it could have been worse so I was going to move on and take those lessons to do things differently next time.

So I emailed her, was happy to have the grades for a future in academia and asked for the referral. She emailed me and gave me unsolicited feedback and then openly stated that a section of my work "surprised her, and not in a good way". I will be frank, it disgusted me. I read it and my skin crawled because she had been a less than stellar supervisor, including being angered when I got an extension after my hospitalization, threatening to not even give me a grade, when the HEAD OF THE DEPARTMENT granted me one.

I was a star pupil, with the exploratory ideas to back it up, and consistently she undermined me and I forgave her every time because of how badly I wanted it. And then in the last moment, after I toiled on a thesis and made it through with a high GPA, she could not let me be happy. She could not let me rejoice that every single day last year felt like I was taking my dying breath, And she could not be the kind of supervisor that deserved my bright ideas, my desire to learn, my ambition. I was told that I should prep a version of my paper for a conference and she never had the time to help me, everyday there was an excuse, and I still made it, and she could not just let us be cordial and move on.

That thesis I did is my first child. I laboured, I read, and I thought it through, and I was willing to accept the imperfections that came in my crafting of it because it was powerful and meaningful. I am an African woman, concerned with how we understand our autonomy and our bodies and what that means in a greater philosophical context. I chose a thesis that meant something to me, and I used whatever philosophical building blocks I could to bring it together, and achieved a feat that people thought might be impossible for me. And I am damn proud of it. And in that email, my supervisor didn't care because she felt embarrassed or something.

I have spent a year being angry. How dare she? Especially since academia puts certain kinds of constraints on work and even with those constraints, I made lemonade out of lemons. In fact, I made lemonade out of rocks. And I have grieved and been sad and it has broken my spirit remembering the disdain in that email. And then the later email with the reference letter where I discover that after all this time, my supervisor knows nothing about me.

She doesn't know my worth, she doesn't know how much her class benefitted from having me as a tutor, and my fellow tutor too. She doesn't know anything that other institutions would love about me. Her colleagues do though. They gave me beautiful letters that reflected my passion, honesty, and integrity, and I felt seen. I wish that I had gotten one of them to be my supervisor, I just didn't know any better, it was a new university, a new city, with new people. But my thesis, my baby, would have been so much safer and cared for in their hands.

But I am not ending it like that. I have started to embark on a multimedia art project revisiting and expanding my thesis and I am explaining different philosophical and sociological concepts that are relevant to it as I go along. Because my thesis belongs to me. My ideas belong to me. And the projections of my supervisor, and the painful memories that are attached to it for me will not under any circumstances, end with her defining my thesis for me.

My thesis is my baby, my child and I am proud of it. Its words live in me, its ideas still are a fixation in my mind, and now I have what it takes to really bring it to the next level. And so I will. I do not just love my thesis as a cute baby that people admire and call beautiful. I love my thesis as a petulant older child that sometimes struggles to string ideas that are linked but in ways that are not obvious. I love my thesis as a teenager lost in despair trying to reconcile how a society functions and the philosophies and ideologies that underpin it, the teenager reading social and political thought for the first time. I love my thesis as the young adult that has more questions than answers. I love my thesis as all of the people I have been and whom I will be.

Academia broke my heart. and it devastated many people befor me. But many ideas are worth exploring. Many ideas are worth cradling in a warm blanket and developing over time. Your ideas and mine, are worth so much more than the egos and power of people around us, and they do not get to rob our work of its dignity. And we do not have to leave the brilliance of our thoughts with the memories of people who never cared to understand them. And so I am coming back for my child, I am returning for my thesis. Because I am willing to spend time with it, and nurture it, and develop it. I am ready for it to one day be in the world and standing on its own.

The words of my thesis live in me, but the words of my thesis will live beyond me. And so as I drawm paint, photograph and write for this multimedia art project. As the young mother of this thesis and this combination of ideas, I will be raw and approach it with care, consideration and thoughtfulness. and hopefully, my thesis will find the right people who are interested in philosophy, sociology and the arts. Because this thesis will always be my baby, and I hope it meets people that love it and see it for what it is, the way that I do.

I dedicate this multimedia art project to the people whose first heartbreak was being alienated from their ideas in service of other people's desires. May you always find your way back to that child who wondered so much about the world, and was eager to learn more.

[korkietism]

Tokoyami’s middle school friend group. Also known as upcoming band, Skull Bowl Full of Soup.

Yuki Asano • he/they • ocd haver • bisexual • grayromantic

-lead singer and guitarist of the group (can play electric and acoustic. He also can work a DJ station like you wouldn’t believe

- deaf w/ hearing aids. Uses JSL and ASL. He can speak verbally but rarely does so. Usually just for singing. Deaf from birth.

- met Fumikage in kindergarten. Both of them had skin picking problems so were pushed to be friends. It worked out well though. The two, Fumi as the weird autistic bird kid with scary eyes and a demon who was way friendlier than him that could solo a building, and Yuki, a little girl who didn’t speak and hit and yelled at other children, who both anxiously picked at their skin, became fast friends due to ostracism from everyone else.

- has OCD, though his obsessions and compulsions are highly focused on contamination and germs among other things. For high school he goes to an adaptive school that has biweekly attendance and focused learning groups. It’s accommodated his mental health and his teachers all know ASL or JSL. He’s much happier this way. As good as it was that he met his friends through the public school system, it was killing him.

- obsessed with religious imagery. Very fond of biblically accurate angels and sin and rings of hell and mythology and such

- never wanted to do hero work or anything. He thinks hero’s are overrated but that Fumi will be different and become his favourite hero.

- he doesn’t care about quirks all that much either. He has very weak telekinesis and uses it almost entirely on small items. (Usually his phone so it doesn’t crack)

- all the SBFS members write lyrics and songs for the band to play though it’s mostly Yuki and Fumi. Stella and Shin prefer to convey their feelings through instruments.

- the most confrontational of the 4. He has the most metaphorical balls.

Stella Kuroiwa • she/her • queer • transfemme

- drummer of the group. She is absolutely wild on the drums. She is also good with any special effects.

- heteromorph like yami. She has a moth mutation which means she has big ol buggy eyes, these weird pointed yet tuft ears, antennae, and a velvety slight layer of fur to her skin. (Like those littlest pet shops. The fuzzy ones.)

- I am inbetween giving her two pairs of arms. I’m still unsure.

- her quirk is called firefly. She can create fireflies made of light though she must absorb direct sunlight or moonlight to do so. If she doesn’t, she can’t use it.

- she’s very anxious. Her sexuality + gender coming out was very hard on her. Coming to terms with herself was a process

- she’s sweet. Though also very silly. She’s really funny and affectionate with those she loves. Though on the outside she’s very avoidant. School is hard for her. She’s okay academically though avoids social things and sports like the plague. Probably does pottery or something. Needs to go to one of those break shit rooms.

- met yuki and Tokoyami in 6th grade. They were probably in the same gym class. None of them ever brought their gym clothes for fear of the change rooms + dysphoria + dysmorphia + insecurity so they were benched together.

- sleeby. Caring. Probably the tallest of the group. Though generally close to Yuki in height.

- now goes to the same school as Shin though they’re not in the same classes very much. It’s the school yami would’ve went to if UA hadn’t worked.

Yushin Tomioka • he/him • gay

- shin my boy. He’s.. so repressed

- probably the most level headed of the group. He keeps the 3 out of trouble

- really smart

- he’s an artist! Super fond of grungy lineart and symbolism. He’s working to be a tattoo artist, though generally has an interest in body mods.

- his quirk is called utensil. He can turn the tip of any of his fingers into a utensil (fork, spoon, knife, screwdriver, pen, pencil, etc) though if he does more than one at a time it uses his energy and makes him feel fatigued.

- gets along with the group well. Probably had a mild crush on Yami for a bit.

- he found solace in the goth alt sort of style. Former gifted kid with perfect grades and everything. He still has good grades but his parents are not at all happy that he isn’t becoming a doctor.

- pianist of the group. He uses a cool keyboard he bought himself. Was forced into piano lessons as a child. Has reclaimed it by playing amazing songs + video game music covers on his keyboard.

- call him shin. No one calls him Yushin. Or Tomioka.

-probably aroacespec but he doesn’t want to think about that rn

- same school as Stella. He’s good in school though he keeps to himself

-the outgrown buzzcut stays. He doesn’t want long hair for awhile.

-he’s shorter than yami by a bit.

-probably wants lip piercings

That is it for now. Ask questions. I will answer. Or ask them questions and they will answer. Yami included. The yamiverse expands one day at a time.

[stable-gremlin]

This is going to include a reasonably heavy topic and I am aware that this is an SSO blog however I am also human and this relates to my art and sso content

TW: anxiety

It is a vicious cycle and it’s probably one of evolutions dirtiest yet necessary tricks.

In the early ages of mankind, anxiety was for us to prepare in advance. It is a warning system. It is a way to survive. But, in this day and age, it is also a massive hindrance.

I have suffered anxiety through a massive chunk of my life and it was only when I had turned 19 did I give it that name. I thought I was just not good enough, a high achiever and a worrier and it affected my grades negatively. Doesn’t help that my grades are intrinsically attached to my self worth which then starts the cycle all over again.

It can cause this like restlessness, loss of sleep, high heart rate, weight gain and weirdly enough an inability to do anything.

I recently had a vast decrease in my mental health and it isn’t related to SSO. In fact, my therapist calls SSO my dissociative safe space (I don’t know if that’s good or not).

I should have noticed it when I was nearing the final of an art piece and I couldn’t get it right. In fact I still can’t get it right. And it stresses me the fuck out. I’ve asked help of other artists and whilst they have done a brilliant job at helping me…still doesn’t or isn’t right. At least to me. This is nothing on them it is the fact that I am incredibly worked up about how people will perceive my art and what I do.

I have the irrational fear that if something isn’t right than I will revive negative backlash. And it’s why I haven’t been posting art. The ISFC can attest to the many re-draws and attempts of Jay’s face.

I don’t know how to move on. I can’t scrap the piece, I have spent too long on it. And it’s part of a series that I allowed you guys to pick and I don’t want to let you all down.

I miss the version of me only a few months back where I could post my shitty sketches and be proud like “yeah, I did that ain’t that neat” and now I have the urge to just scrap it entirely.

Anxiety is a bitch and it’s pretty much just me and my therapist battling it out.

If you’ve read this far, thank you. I appreciate you listening. Do me a favour, though: if you see someone getting stressed out about something happening in a conversation, don’t tell them to calm down.

If we could, we would.

[yolowritter]

Anybody order an Evil Emilie Au?

Hello there everyone, and welcome! I'm back on my bullshit and 99% sure I talked about this before, but who cares? This, this wonderful thing is the Games of Innocence Au! Did you ever want a world where Emilie is a psychopath? Did you ever imagine her being as morally grey as they come yet still trying to be a mother to her son? What about if it was Gabriel who used the Peacock instead? What if she's replaced him as Hawkmoth? Empress actually, but still! And what somewhere down the line, she tries to manipulate Nathalie into helping her?

What if Emilie accidentally falls in love with her best friend? This absolute masterpiece is one of my favorite show re-write ideas of all time, and I've got some sweet 9.5k words for you guys to enjoy right here! Thing is, since I already have an Au that's over 300k words long, and rapidly approaching 400k...not to mention the next huge project on my list (a conservative estimate of 500k words)...I will not be writing the Evil Emilie Au in it's entirety. Most of it is a show rewrite anyway, and I simply don't have the time go through each individual episode and change it so that psycho!Emilie is there instead of mr Mothballs. I'm currently trying to write the finale, since it is the single best part and my personal favorite scene, hopefully to post it both here and on the Archive when I'm done.

However! I can and will rant about it until the end of time, assuming someone asks! And since the voices in my head did, here's an entire analysis about this version of Emilie! It's right below the cutoff, but I'd highly recommend to first read the fic! So here's the Ao3 link, hope you enjoy!

Alright then, welcome back! I hope it was a good read! Now as a disclaimer, I am not a mental health specialist, and might be confusing the terms "sociopath" and "psychopath" here, but I did read that sociopaths often struggle to control their emotions and act erratically (which Emilie doesn't, she has great self-control), where psychopaths have difficultly forming any emotional connections, so I feel like the latter term describes this Au's Emilie much better. Let's get right down to business, and explore (this) Emilie Agreste's mind, shall we! Obvious spoiler warning for the above fic.

Firstly, I'd like to make sure we're all on the same page with what kind of person Emilie is! Whenever I refer to her I'm obviously talking about this Emilie, so don't confuse it with canon. I have another upcoming post abt that. Her main attribute is that life as a concept is permeated by a general sense of boredom. Wake up, do tasks that only matter because she's told they do, sleep, repeat. Emilie was born into a rich family, which immediately means expectations. I'm assuming that she was kept pretty isolated aside from eventually starting school, so the only emotional connection Emilie formed in her early life was her sister, Amelie. She does genuinely care about her sister in a way that Emilie just can't bring herself to for her parents or staff, though she is nice to the latter and appreciates the work they do for her. Her parents are just stuck-up snobs but who cares? And so, Emilie shows this care the only way she knows how. Being perfect. Excelling at everything she does, getting the top grades in class, you all know the drill. The only thing she doesn't have is friends, and hangs out mostly with her sister. But even with Amelie, who she feels very strongly for...Emilie has a hard time expressing these feelings. For an example, see this flashback when they are sitting together in the garden:

“Sister…do you love me?” Amelie asks in a soft tone, her voice barely loud enough not to be carried away by the wind. Emilie recalls that she must have been... ten, maybe closer to eleven? And in all her admittedly few years, she never felt her heart stop beating as suddenly as when she registered Amelie’s words. “It’s- it’s just- …m’ sorry, Em. I… I don’t know, but whenever you smile at me...” the girl lets out a tiny sigh, nervously fidgeting with a stray strand of platinum-blonde hair. “It’s the same smile mum has when people are coming over…”

Emilie remembers it as clear as day—the way that the soft blades of gray grass between her fingers felt as if they’d been sharpened enough to draw out blood. Why…why would Am ever think she didn’t love her? Emile had done everything she was expected to do! She kept up her good grades like father wanted, always smiled and politely socialized with mum’s friends and family whenever they came over, and- …and she’d been nice to Amelie. Her twin sister, the constant presence in her life that truly felt like family…did not seem to think so. Or, maybe, Emilie had messed up somehow and given her the same bland niceness that the world would present her with day in and day out. But what else could she do? Wasn’t this what family meant? Just... be nice to one another and keep up with what was asked?

And over here, notice the way Emilie thinks of herself as a corpse, as not alive, even at such a young age:

“I- I’m sorry, Am,” she manages to whisper, even as confusion washes over Emilie’s mind. But…this is her sister. The one person who might understand how she feels about all of this, how the world itself registers only in dull shades of gray, how she can barely tell cold and hot apart, or how her heart sometimes feels like it’s stopped beating for hours at a time. “It’s hard for me to feel,” Emilie says, in the same reserved tone that’s always marked her sister’s voice.

And yes, obviously I know I'm the writer of the whole Au. I'm not patting myself on the back with these scenes, I'm just trying to get the point across. Emilie's life has always been that same dull grey, and the only people who can make it go away are Amelie, Adrien, Nathalie, and (to a lesser extent) Gabriel. She's been wearings masks her whole life, trying to be accepted by others but knowing that nobody would ever like who she truly is. And when she's alone...the thoughts come back, she can't tell if she is alive to begin with. Quote from the fic:

"Oftentimes, Emilie isn’t even able to feel her own heartbeat, never mind registering the expanding and collapsing of her lungs with every breath. When left alone and with nothing to catch her eye, Emilie could easily fool herself into thinking she’s some kind of undead or a ghost haunting the manor’s halls with twisted, quickly-fading memories."

Just to be clear here, Emilie suffers from deep depression. She feels isolated and alone, depending on the very few people who are perceptive enough to see even a tiny bit under her many masks, and she gets extremely attached very quickly. She isn't unable to love, since she (at the timeframe of the fic) has started to fall for Nathalie despite actively trying to manipulate her, but it's an extremely difficult mental situation to even begin dealing with. Emilie has hyperfocused on her family, and especially Adrien, her son. She isn't possessive and does genuinely love him, but there are obvious complications with their relationship. I'll get to that in a bit, but let's backtrack to her childhood one last time.

Emilie has absolutely no moral qualms with murder. Wow, that is a special combination of sentences right there! But in all seriousness, she thinks in a purely black-and-white kind of way. Emilie's #1 priority are her people, and for them she would burn the world to cinders. If anybody even looks at Amelie wrong, they will be wiped off the map for no reason other than the fact that this person was percieved as a danger. Emilie is that level of extreme in her protective streak. To give a few examples related to her sister, right after that flashback between the two of them, Emily recalls finding out that a slightly older girl was bullying her sister at school. And in a move that would make Ashley Graves proud, she straight up murders that child. No hesitation, no grievances, no regret. That girl was a threat to Amelie, and got swiftly eliminated. No questions asked, even at the grand-old age of 11.

Furthermore, Colt Fathom is straight-up dead in this Au. Emilie killed him when she came to visit her sister and nephew, staging a company emergency and sabotaging both his car engine and breaks, just to make sure. Can't take any chances with Colt of all people. Again, another threat to her sister eliminated, with Amelie's (implied) knowledge and support. The only reason she didn't kill him before the wedding is because Amelie personally convinced Emilie that she was willing to take on the burden for their family's sake. And also to use Colt's connections behind his back. Who doesn't love a good scheme?

Now...Gabriel and Nathalie never realized who exactly they were dealing with. It's worth mentioning here that Nathalie was actually Emilie's college roomate, and Gabriel was studying in the same university. Little detail, but I wanted to add it because Emilie canonically went to France to further her education. And Amelie got to work making friends in high places while Colt was busy in the 'murican bars downtown or something. Listen, all my homies hate Colt Fathom, and all you need to know is that the police didn't find enough of him to put in a casket. Anyway, Nathalie was studying business and finance, Emilie and Gabriel studied creative arts, and they met during their college years. The thing is, Emilie did love Gabriel. Only...not exactly the way he loved her. Quote again:

"Ever since she’d met him, Gabriel had been downright lovely. Polite, bookish, and a little nerdy, but with a creative spark powerful enough to bring forth an inferno of passion for his work. And he was also very loyal, most of all to the pretty popular girl who’d taken an interest in him and decided to befriend him in their first few days of college. Gabriel Agreste had turned out to be far more than just an interesting critter, and he was admittedly one of the extremely few people in this world Emilie had ever felt for, even if she was not fully able to reciprocate his feelings. Well…not in the way that Gabriel wanted, at least. Of course she loved him, hence why she obviously married him later on in life, but the man was…more of a cute, adorable puppy than a husband. If she were to put it crudely, Gabriel was far too easy when it came to matters of the heart."

Yeah...poor guy didn't notice the Yandere even after he married her. Also, another detail is that the reason why Emilie even took interest in Gabriel is because he saw through almost all her masks, believe it or not. Aside from the rampant psychopathy and slightly murderous tendencies, Emilie Graham De Vanily was an open book to him. Oh well, sometimes she ends up being crazy! What can you do? But anyway, worth mentioning that this Gabriel is far closer to his Reverse!Gabriel counterpart in terms of personality, and never acts in the callous, cold way we see in canon. Granted, we don't see what he was like before Emilie's canonical demise, but I don't like leaving room for implications on this matter. So you get your Good Parent Gabriel Agreste tag and you'll like it too!

As for Nathalie...there's an entire four and half posts' worth of ranting to do, so I'll just leave you with what the fic already has for now. Suffice it to say, she's very much into Emilie but knows she shouldn't be. I'm sure that with Empress trying to emotionally manipulate her into keeping the basement fridge life support pod thing a secret, that's going to go very well! Especially when the villainess herself is accidentally falling in love with Mayura! The Eminath is extremely strong with this one...

But anyway, about Adrien! Considering that even in canon, Emilie still wore his Amok-ring inside her sleeping pod, it's obvious that this Emilie will be wearing it too, right? Absolutely! And guess what? Thanks to a little help from an Akumatized Nathalie (prior to Origins in this Au), she magically enchanted the ring to make it literally impossible to unwillingly remove from her finger for as long as she's alive. Control issues, much? Seriously though, she does love Adrien very deeply, and does her best to be a mother. Emilie knows that he loves her back, and absorbs that love the same way a starved wolf devours fresh meat. She isn't oppressive and does her best to give him certain freedoms...but Adrien also never went to school in this Au. In her defense, she'd have little issue with it normally, but Emilie also wants to start her supervillainess career on the same year...and the thought of Adrien being caught in the crossfire genuinely terrifies her. Plus, in canon he does get involved in several Akuma attacks because of Gabriel, so... He still manages to get out of the house long enough to bump into Fu, hence Chat Noir, but doesn't ever meet Marinette and co. Not even for the Gum Incident.

In that case...hello Marichat! But again, that's for another Games of Innocence post. Today we focus on our resident Yandere! Believe me, it will become extremely evident why I call Emilie that once I post about her relationship with Nathalie/Mayura. Just trust me on this one. Back to Adrien, his dearly beloved mother is very much that. Beloved. But he is slowly starting to understand that something might be wrong with his home life, and tries to talk to Emilie about it.

This, I think, is an excellent time to talk about the color-coding in this Au. In a lot of my works I incorporate color theory and those meanings into stuff like aura colors, presences, Luka Vision™ (listen my hc is he has Synesthesia), etc. Obviously Adrien is supposed to be a vibrant green. Fresh start, new life, we've heard this all before. And Emilie...as Empress, she is a dark purple, because she's embracing her mystic side, and going absolutely wild with any and all magic shenanigans involving the Miraculous. But like I said above...in those moments where she's alone, not clinging to Adrien's side, or talking to Nathalie, or spending time with Nooroo...she's a dull, dead grey. The same tone that's haunted her since childhood. As a side note, Emilie doesn't abuse her Kwami. Nooroo actually thinks they could be good friends. You know, if she'd drop the quest for ultimate power and all.

Speaking of that, as far as Nathalie knows, this is all for the sake of bringing Gabriel back to life. Which...is true, yes. He's Adrien's father and Emilie did marry him, even if as "just a friend". She did actually have feelings for him by the way, just supressed them to avoid hurting herself when she realized he wasn't seeing her psycho side and then convinced herself that said emotions were better off locked up in the back of her mind. Never again...until Nathalie. But anyway! Emilie's main goal is Unlimited Power!!! Why? Shits and giggles, of course! She can do it, it's really fun to play this game with Ladybug and Chat Noir, and Akumatizing people just feels so intimate!

Do not get me wrong here! The reason why Emilie is obsessed with Akumatizations is because she loves going into people's heads and manipulating them! It's not weird, just the only coping mechanism she had in her entire childhood! Bless Amelie for giving her at least that... But yeah, Emilie basically treats the whole Akuma Shenanigans™ is her personal reality tv show, coupled with as much drama and action as anyone could ask for! And she gets to control the narrative! Plus, there's times where Emilie lets the Akuma do their thing just to see what might happen. Evillustrator is a prime example here, but that's part of the Marichat post so I won't get into it here.

Okay, okay. This rant is getting way too long. TL;DR: Emilie Agreste is kinda insane but still a better parent that canon Gabriel! I am currently working on the finale for this fic, because the ending is the best part and I want to share it with you all! In the meantime, feel free to send me as many asks abt this Au as you want! I'll be more than happy to have an excuse for more ranting! Anyway, I'll be seeing you all soon, but until then, Stay Miraculous everyone!

[mifeeey]

Listen. This is the first time I ever read South Park fanfic. I do not regret it.

This one... Honestly I was thinking about asking permission to make a live reading of it (sadly i won't bc i am not comfortable saying some of the language used) BUT THE FIC IS AMAZING GO READ IT RN

Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Floating in Space

by gremlinteeth

Warning (from me):

This fic has a lot of violence, depictions of some heavy homophobia and uses some slurs, it may be upsetting to some

Summary:

The epitome of apathy, Craig Tucker has never been anything but nonchalant when it comes to his life and other related catastrophes. As long as he's not missing his favourite tv show or being hassled into another one of his classmates' ill-advised schemes, the boy truly doesn't care. Why should he? He's almost halfway through his Junior year at South Park High, which he's already figured out means he's only trapped there for another year and a half. Yet, there's only so far flying under the radar can get you, and unless he can get his grades up before the end of the school year, he won't be graduating with the rest of his class. Luckily, there's a blonde-haired recluse who might be able to help him - in more ways than he'd hoped.

Relationships:

Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak

Kyle Broflovski/Stan Marsh

Clyde Donovan/Bebe Stevens

Kenny McCormick/Bebe Stevens

Additional Tags:

Alternate Universe - High School

Mental Health Issues

Tutoring

Homophobia

Bullying

Fist Fights

Fights

Post-Divorce

Broken Families

Drug Abuse

spaceman Craig gets a mention

POV Third Person

Fluff and Angst

Craig's Gang

Stan's Gang - Freefo

Craig is determined NOT to be gay

Aged-Up Character(s)

Eric Cartman Being Eric Cartman

Unrequited Love

Apathetic Craig Tucker

Use of the f slur

use of j slur by cartman

Craig x Tweek is main focus so other listed relationships are mostly in the background

Implied/Referenced Child Abuse

Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism

Slow Burn

it's gonna be a bit sad at the beginning but get happier so just enjoy that grind to the good stuff

[altruistic-meme]

I have done some Chores

[imnotgrimimjustagrumpyreaper]

HATCHED

Aka: a half-baked short story based on an infamous Tumblr post that I just turned in for a grade

“Can’t we do anything besides go to the library? Can’t we do something fun?” Dante had woken a few minutes after Heather and had been pestering her ever since.

“I think the library is fun,” she replied.

“Maybe it is, but not the way you do it.”

Heather sighed, “I just need a quiet place to get some work done that isn’t here.”

She kept her voice quiet and her footsteps light as she moved through the house.

However, her father was already awake, in the chair, watching the tv, set on the news. It gave his face an eerie glow.

The light had not yet made it to the other side of the house.

Heather paused behind his chair.

“Reports are coming in of another approximately hundred cases, dubbed ‘Wakers,’ spreading throughout the US. Health and safety officials are beginning to wonder if it's contagious-”

Her father grunted, “Of course it's contagious.”

Heather nodded.

“I’m going out,” she said.

“I don’t like you going out alone…”

“We’ll be fine,” said Dante.

“I’ll be careful.”

“Be extra careful, pumpkin. Where you headed?”

“To the library, I’m trying to get ahead on stuff.”

He nodded, thoughtfully, “Good. Go on, just text me when you get there.”

“I will,” said Heather, heart pounding in her ears, she stepped out before he could change his mind.

Outside she blew out a breath that turned to smoke in the cold air.

“I always wonder if today’s the day,” mused Dante as they moved to the car.

Heather was loath to reply, “The day for what?”

“The day he’ll actually not let you go out, and go ahead and lock you in the basement, or something.”

“He’s not that bad, my parents are great.”

“They’re good, but they’re not great,” Dante muttered.

Heather shivered as the leather seat stole the warmth from her back. It was a cold day, the first truly cold day of the season, made all the colder by the warm weather the week prior.

She wore only a baggy t-shirt and jogging pants, having forgotten a jacket. All her fall appropriate gear was buried in her closet: cute dresses and fleecy leggings with festive prints…From several falls ago, back when there was so much less to hide…

Her ribs stuck out further beneath her skin, and her collar bone seemed so much more sharp; maybe, it was all in her head.

-

The library went about the same as usual.

“You always do this,” whispered Dante.

Heather blinked back her tears with more aggression than necessary.

“Yes you do,” he argued at her silent protest.

“What am I supposed to do?” She hissed, her voice cracking from the effort of staying quiet, “Not do it? Just never work on anything because I’m too stupid to not have a melt down.”

“Heather, shut up, you put so much damn pressure on yourself, it's hard to watch.”

“I have to, if I want to get anything done I-” the words died in her throat. She let her head fall on the table, tears falling in little damp spots, making the blue of the lines of her notebook run, like the blank paper itself was crying.

It was always the same empty promise: ‘Half the time I’ll work on homework, and get ahead, and half the time I’ll work on my own stuff, and actually make headway there.’

She usually wound up doing neither. Just sat, dumbly, at a table in the corner, making herself as small as possible, uncomfortable and sweaty, even today, despite the chill leaking in from the windows.

“It's not due till next week,” Said Dante, like the little devil on her shoulder.

Heather didn’t respond. She zoned out, letting her hearing and focus drift off to the soft conversations in other corners of the library as the last of her tears dripped down her chin.

“It's terrifying. It’s spreading so fast.”

“I’m just wondering how it spreads.”

“Oh, so you believe it is contagious?”

“It has to be.”

“How can it be though, I mean, it’s not like a disease, is it?”

“Maybe it's mental; I saw something on Facebook, the other day, about mass hysteria, I think? It's very bad stuff.”

“Oh. Oh, no…I don’t want my kids anywhere near school, right now.”

“I know the feeling, I’ve been fighting with my husband to have them pulled out until this all blows over.”

“Can you believe they’re talking about discussing it in classrooms, now? Honestly? The kids don’t need to hear about that!”

“That’s unbelievable!”

It was like that everywhere you went. In grocery stores, Goodwills, and restaurants, at gas stations, and on the radios and televisions. Social media was the worst. Heated conversations about wakers was something you just couldn’t escape.

“Can we pick out a book?” Asked Dante, apropos of nothing.

Heather felt suddenly exhausted, “You know what? Yeah. As long as it's fiction.”

The non-fiction section, particularly anything on osteology (a term everyone had all together, suddenly, become too familiar with) tended to feel a bit like a war-zone. There was no small chance someone would be willing to get into a valiant and violent debate with anyone picking up a book from that particular shelf.

Despite herself, she whispered as she wandered to the aisles, “You wanna get a coffee after? I’m still cold.”

“Jokes on you, I’m warm,” He teased.

“We’re getting a coffee, you get no choice,” She said flatly, rubbing her hands together.

After a few minutes of wandering, Heather had found what Dante had been after.

“Good Omens-”

“The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter,” Dante finished, “You tried to read it a while back, didn’t you?”

“I did…I didn’t finish it, I’m not great about finishing books.”

“Well, you should finish this one, there’s a tv-show now.”

“Yeah, there is, isn’t there?”

“And I wanna watch it. But you wanna read the book first.”

“Point taken,” Said Heather, and she checked it out with no protest. It had been good from what she could remember.

-

The coffee shop wasn’t far from the library, but it was a far cry in atmosphere: loud, and slightly chaotic. The warmth was well trapped in the bustling place, despite the many windows.

Heather stood back a ways from the counter, surveying the menu. They’d rolled out their fall favorites a while ago, there was too much good to choose from.

“The maple spice is your favorite, you know you don’t come often enough to get anything else, and get the large this time.”

“No, it's too expensive,” Heather said, a little too loudly, and felt embarrassed; she knew she was drawing attention to herself.

“You deserve it.”

“I don’t.”

She went up to order before Dante could argue any further.

“I’ll have a maple spice latte, hot, please.”

“Alright!” Said the barista, chirpy, and not even fake. ‘Thalia’ read her name tag, “What size?”

“Large,” said Dante.

“Large,” blurted Heather. Then, she whispered, “Why would you do that?”

Thalia nodded, “Large?”

Heather bit her lip, “Yeah.”

Thalia leaned to the side, looking past Heather to where there was no line behind her. Satisfied with what she saw, she leaned forward, almost conspiratorially, “Hey…Are you?”

“Am I…What?”

“You know…Are you?” She waved a hand.

“I don’t understand,” Heather said, meekly, suddenly feeling cold again.

“Are you like me-us? A waker?”

Heather’s mouth gaped.

“Say something,” said Dante, having the decency to sound nervous, ”Don’t just stand here, you’ve already outed yourself by taking this long to answer, so you might as well just say yes.”

“Don’t say it so loud, please,” she answered, finally.

“Sorry! Sorry…I get excited…”

A man had come up behind Heather in line, she could see him roll his eyes out of the corners of hers.

“Would you wanna…Talk? I can take my break early?”

“Sure,” Heather said, feeling like she had no other choice.

Maybe she did…But her own curiosity was peaked.

Thalia made the man’s coffee, then one for herself, than Heather’s. She carried the two over to the booth Heather had slunk over to, and sat down.

“My name’s Thalia.”

“We know,” Dante said, amused.

“...I’m Heather.”

Thalia extended a hand, “So…”

She smiled at Heather, leaving the stage open, the mike prepared and ready for Heather and Dante’s little two part act that they had never practiced. Heather got a rush of stage fright.

“What do you call yours?” Heather asked, feeling like she’d tripped over her own words.

She reached for the coffee and took a sip.

“Hm? Oh!...Well, she’s Thalia too.”

Dante made a noise.

She had thrown Heather for a loop, “...What do you mean?”

“Well, we both agree we’re both Thalia. It was a little weird at first, but we’ve gotten used to it…”

“Oh…Is-...Is it like that for everyone?”

Thalia shrugged, taking a sip of her own coffee, “I’m not sure.”

“Introduce me,” Dante cut into her train of thought.

“Uh…Well, mine-uh-He’s called Dante.”

“Oh,” said Thalia, the awkwardness settling over her, despite her resistant smile, “Sorry, I’ve not met a lot of others…”

Neither had Heather, she’d never met another.

“But you have met others?”

“A few.”

“What were they like?”

“Just…People…Like us. I don’t know, I didn’t really get to talk to them.”

Her eyes drifted around the room. Heather’s followed. A silent unspoken question between them: how many more might be in the room?

“Ask something,” Dante sounded urgent.

“What?” asked Heather.

“Anything! Just say something to make it less awkward!”

Thalia was smiling at them when they looked up.

“Have you met anyone who’s-...”

“Hatched? No, not yet…I think I heard of someone. I don’t think anyone’s been brave enough to try around here.”

Heather tried to picture it: a skeleton walking down the street, freed from flesh.

“I wonder what it’s like?” Heather asked of no one at the table, really.

“Me too,” whispered Dante.

“Us too,” said Thalia. Then, she continued, “We were thinking, if we ever…Went through with it, that we might pick a new name. One that fits both of us together, instead of separate.”

“Cool,” said Heather, stupidly.

“We’ve gotta get back to work, so she says,” Thalia says, still smiling, “Thanks…Good luck.”

“You too,” they said, or was it Dante said using Heather’s mouth, or Heather said using Dante’s jaw.

-

Late that night in bed, Heather lay rubbing her jaw, rubbing her hands together, running them over her ribs. Who’s were they, she wondered. Were they hers? It didn’t feel like it…

“I’ve been meaning to ask…” Dante broke the relative silence in her head.

“Ask what?” she prompted, trying not to break the silence of the house.

“Why’d you call me Dante?”

“I dunno…I’m sorry, it was the first thing that came to mind.”

She’d been reading a passage from Dante’s Divine Comedy for class. The character in the book she was reading was called Dante; the character in the book she was trying to write was called Dante…

It was just her default name, then. If she’d had to come up with some fictional person to chastise or joke about ala “Yes, Blank, these wakers are so scary, and probably are government sleeper agents,” Dante would be that person.

On the day when she’d started hearing a voice inside her head, she hadn’t been feeling particularly creative about naming it.

“Don’t be sorry,” Dante said, finally.

Heather could feel his finger bones twitching beneath her skin.

-

Another cold Saturday, it hadn’t really been warm again since that first cold day, all those weeks back, they woke.

They’d head out, that was the plan.

“I’m going out,” said Dante using Heather’s voice, or was it?- What did it matter? It felt bad, wrong.

“I don’t think you should go, Heather.”

And they flinched.

“You don’t look good,” Their father continued. He turned the volume back up on the tv, the glow casting the dark lines of his face into even darker relief in the dark room.

The light would never reach the other side of the house.

“I have to,” protested ???

A reporter on the tv cut them off, “The hearing is happening today. It will determine, hopefully, this divisive matter on if or not the hatched should be considered people.”

“Of course they shouldn’t, god, we need to lock these sick people up before they spread this shit any further,” he spat at the TV, covering his mouth once he realized he’d just cursed in front of his legally adult child.

“I’m sorry, I’ll be careful,” continued Blank, “But I have to go out, I need the library for research, we’re not allowed to use online sources.”

“They need to cancel school. It’s not safe.”

Blank nodded, trying to mean it.

He sighed, “I’m starting to think you just don’t want to be around me.”

“No, it’s not-”

“Just-...Just text me when you get there.”

Blank wasn’t going to the library. They were heading to the coffee shop, bones moving clumsily, weighed down by skin and meat and organs and names that just felt wrong.

Blank had been going to the coffee shop for weeks to meet with Thalia. They’d met others too. They’d learned a lot…Learned that when the skin died the bones died with it, meat and bones both had only one life they had to share.

They didn’t always talk about that…About being them…They’d all watched the Good Omens mini-series, and they talked about that a good bit, too. It was nice, it was a relief, it was a break.

Inside the coffee shop there was a fight.

“Keep it down,” cried a man they didn’t recognize.

“You’re the one who’s yelling!” Replied a skeleton they might have recognized.

“Get to work, Thalia,” spat the man.

“That’s not my name.”

“It is, I hired Thalia.”

“Well, then why am I here, because I’m not Thalia.”

“You are, I don’t care how much you fucking change your body. You can mutilate yourself all you like, you’re still Thalia.”

Blank felt sick, their stomach all the heavier.

Their friend caught their eye and they could feel them urge them to leave.

So they did. Blank piled back in the car and drove, aimlessly.

A while down the road their phone buzzed.

“What?” they answered, it was their father.

“You didn’t text. Are you in the car? Where are you, Heather?”

“We-”

“Who’s we? There’s a fight with some waker that broke out at that coffee shop near the library. I don’t want you anywhere near that, you need to come home.”

The words bubbled up their throat, muscle, tongue and teeth failing to restrain them.

“What if they’re not so bad?”

The phone went silent in their hand.

“What?”

Blank took a deep, shaky breath, “What if they’re not so bad, everyone treats them so unfairly.”

“They kill people, Heather, they’re sick, psychopaths, monsters-”

“Have you even spoken to one? Do you know if it's like dying?”

“Heather-” his voice had turned cold.

Blank hung up. Tears turning cold as they leaked down their face and neck, gathering at their shirt collar.

It was a few miles out of town when they pulled over and shrugged off their skin like shrugging off a coat. They hatched.

Blank dragged themself out of the boiling pit of sulfur; Blank climbed the mountain out of hell and turned to look back at how far they’d come.

“I picked out a name,” said Blank.

“What?” replied Blank.

“Anthony.”

“Anthony?”

“What, you don’t like it?”

Anthony laughed, “Let’s head to the library.”

And Blank spoke no more.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the asshole for ghosting my friend after saying we'd move in together?

So I (18M) had this friend, we'll call him L (18M). We met at school when we were both 16-17 and sort of became friends since we were the only trans kids in our grade and I helped him come out to teachers etc.

After a while, L became very emotionally draining. He has a bad relationship with his parents and generally a lot of mental health issues so he was always venting to me about that, which was fine at first but started to get really annoying and even started to get into emotional blackmail territory after a while (I don't wanna go into it but he essentially threatened to SH or even commit suicide if I stop being his friend) . I knew I'd cut him off eventually and it was the right thing to do, I just couldn't do that yet since we sat next to each other at school and were almost neighbours.

Here's where I might be TA: during our last year of school, we were both planning to move out of our parents place as soon as we turn 18 since neither of us had a good home life and he suggested moving in together. I knew at that point that that wasn't gonna happen but I really wanted to avoid any sort of drama so I just told him "yeah, sure" or "if it works out".

I ended up moving with my partner in a different city after we finished school and not really talking to anyone from that city anymore since quite a few of the people i met there just weren't good for my mental health (especially him and another guy). He's tried to text me a couple times but I just ignored him.

So, AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[hiiragi7]

A lot of you have such a black-and-white worldview that you take anyone else's experiences as a direct attack on your own.

No, a DID diagnosis is not inherently a death sentence - But to say that a DID diagnosis cannot ever affect your ability to adopt, get accepted for a job, or anything else is false.

Yes, even if it's illegal to discriminate against someone on the basis of a disability. It happens anyway.

I have been seeing a lot of people saying "I just don't tell them I have DID and it's fine" - Have you ever considered not all of us are functional enough to have the choice to hide it like that?

I do not have direct personal experience with DID specifically affecting my ability to get work or adopt or get into a good school, because I was diagnosed as an adult and have never been employed or interested in adoption - I am too sick to even leave my bed most days.

I do, however, have direct experience with systemic discrimination on the basis of having an autism diagnosis since the age of 6.

Certain schools would not accept us or would make us move schools because they saw autism and did not want to deal with "a kid like that". Our very first school kept suspending us and sending us home and punishing us and refusing to follow our learning plan and eventually just told our parents to move us elsewhere. This was first grade.

Growing up, our autism diagnosis was what justified abuse, which they called "treatment".

It was also used as a tool to question our ability to do things, communicate, and know what we want.

Our autism diagnosis generally either meant we could not possibly make our own decisions or it was played up for the entertainment and feel-good of neurotypicals.

We ended up in news articles and events occasionally as a little kid. They all focused on our autism. Do you know what a big deal it is to neurotypicals when a kid "like that" can deliver a speech to hundreds of people? You end up being the talk of everyone, you're an inspiring story for "overcoming" this "disease" they called autism.

And yet they still will be cautious accepting you into whatever school you wanted to go to because they doubt your abilities and believe your parents must have faked your writing to sound as cohesive and well-written as it did when you applied. We were gifted in english. But we were autistic.

And then they turn around again and use you as good PR.

Your first introduction anywhere you go is "This is X, they have autism!"

"Look at what good people we are for accepting such a child into our program!"

And then they turn around again and mistreat you for that very thing they will publicly brag about.

They will also see your diagnosis and want to use you for free or reduced labor cost. I do not remember anything about this relating to us, but kmow for a fact this did happen to many of our fellow SPED kids in highschool - They'd have programs to employ autistic youth where they paid you solely in "work experience" and "social skills".

You do not get paid - You get "to learn life skills".

I also know of many programs where, while they technically pay you, they make use of disability laws that allow them to pay disabled people less than minimum wage. "They're all living with their parents anyway because they can't live on their own, so it's basically just like an allowance."

Even moving away from us for a moment, we have known people personally who had their ability to parent their child questioned in court because they had one or more mental health diagnoses on their papers.

Do you see what I'm getting at yet?

No, a DID diagnosis does not automatically mean you will be discriminated against on a systemic level and outcast from society - But to say it is not possible at all is to ignore a very massive and glaring ableism issue that is a very real lived reality for many, many people with DID and other disabilities.

It is not "misinformation", it is often not even "fear-mongering" to point this out.

We live in a shitty world - To tell someone with worries of getting a DID diagnosis that "That won't happen, don't worry!" in regards to discrimination is incredibly misleading.

No, do not say that an official DID diagnosis is some kind of monster that forever seals your fate as to how you'll be treated within society and that nobody should ever get diagnosed unless they plan to stay in an institution for the rest of their life or whatever. That's stupid.

But for the love of god please stop telling people that they will not be discriminated against just because you haven't been. You are brushing the experiences of the rest of us under the rug in doing this.

[desiresthruvoid]

Hii bbys <3

I am jass and I am basically just here to track my void journey but I would be glad to help someone if I could.

I found out about void and shifting last year during summers and it's been over an year that I am "trying" to get into the void. I haven't yet been able to get into the void state but I have gotten into the pre-void a few times. I would have actually given up by now because it's been too long I am still very optimistic about it because after getting into pre-void I at least have surety that the void REALLY exists and it's not all fake woo-woo stuff.

The reason I really want to get into the void is that my life is a real shit show rn. I just graduated high school a few months ago and because I found out about void at the beginning of my last year in high school I completely stopped studying and my grades are now so low that I can't get into any college rn and my parents don't have money cuz I am just really poor😭😭

I also cut off everyone because I am just too sick of the world, my health is also not so good and let's not even talk about physical appearance like I look pretty tho but I hate my body cuz there's too many illnesses and I just can't seem to do anything about it, my mental health is also shitty. SO BASICALLY EVERY IS JUST WRONG IN EVERY POSSIBLE WAY!! 🙏😭

I know the reason I haven't yet been able to get into the void and that is NOT EVEN TRYING. I always think about it and plan what I am going to do but when it's time to actually do it I just procrastinate it although I am very sick of my life. Every now and then I would read a success story about how the person just said fuck it and actually did it, i would say yeah fuck it all I would also just get into the void but when it's actually the time to set intentions and go for it, i would just play songs in background and go to sleep.

SO BASICALLY FOR THE PAST YEAR I HAVE JUST BEEN THINKING ABOUT GETTING INTO THE VOID BUT I ACTUALLY NEVER PUT ANY EFFORTS THE ONLY FEW TIMES I DID I REALLY ENDED UP IN THE PRE-VOID STATE!!! WHICH IS WHY I AM HERE SO THAT I CAN KEEP MYSELF ON TRACK AND ACTUALLY PUT IN INTENTION AND EFFORT.

I would be recording my journey from today and update everyday untill I get into the void. I would love love love to help anyone after I got into the void so let's just keep hoping, untill then byee💕💕

Update in the evening<3

[e-icreator23]

Vent again. If you cant read it. Wither: You can't let him do that! He can't be banging or throwing stuff! You think its funny but its- D-d:You need to stop being a drama queen. It doesn't mean anything! Stop it. Where did banging and throwing things get bad? (where did you get that from?!) He's not doing any harm Wither:But it sounds like he's trying to break his controller! [He has a PS5] B-o: WHAT DO YOU CARE?! YOU HAVE A MASK ON AND YOUR A JUNIOR! ITS CRINGY! Wither: And you're a sophomore! You should know not to- B-o: Shut up! No one asked! Aren't you embarrassed?!! This is what happened right now. My brother started to rage at a game and from my room, it sounded like he was banging his controller. I came out to see whats going on and he was yelling before this and hitting something. I told my sister to go to her room and that he was acting stupid. He got mad and insulted me and said I am a nobody and I am embarrassing. My sister got scared from him yelling so got my dad who was drinking. He came it and my brother went back to the game he was getting mad at for loosing and he laughed about it. I told him what happened and he still laughed about it. I got mad since he lets them both get away with things like this and I am tired of the insults. I hate that once they know I will be married to a woman that they won't want me around since like my brother has said and I shit you not he said this word for word "FAGS ARE MENTAL. THEY AREN'T HUMAN" My dad constantly wonders why one of his cousins who came out to them is never around, I can't blame, not at all. It's because none of them support them! They outright show they disappointed in them! My brother says that my dad and him HATE people who are gay or anything relating to it with a passion. They are more concerned of how they look than about anything else, my brother has to constantly remind me that I am more on the bigger side and that he's so embarrassed about it! He said that he will never say hi to me during school even when I say hi, he acts like he doesn't know me and says to others that he doesn't know me. He likes to make fun of me saying I won't get anyone. And even if I do, they will leave me since they never really loved me. I am so tired of this. I want to leave so bad but If I try to leave with another family member then my dad will start to guilt trip me and I don't want to leave because I don't want to leave my friends yet. I know I'm a damn disappointment to them. I know that shit but I have to be reminded over and over and over again. No wonder why I'm distant with them. I try so hard at school to make them proud but it can never make it last. I won first place somewhere big in my state but just "oh nice". thats it. I get Honor roll. "good and stay like that" I am so tired of it and I know I am still gonna push myself to try and get good grades but I know nothing I do will ever be good enough to make them proud of me. They ask why is it hard for me to talk to people, no shit its hard because If I say anything wrong to them, I would get hit. I would get yelled at for saying anything wrong. They told me I am not allowed to tell anyone about my situation, I can't talk to my councilors about this, I cant ask for help. Not even online. If I say something wrong, I feel like they would hate me. If I do something they don't like then I'm the piece of shit. I know they have said that I can talk to them but I feel like I cant since I dont know what they will say. I am scared, I am so fucking scared. I know non of them are bad or anything I am just terrified of them since they are so amazing and I can never amount to them in any way. I don't know what to do. If I eat how I normally do, im told to stop. My health problems are my fault and yeah maybe they are. but still at least be semi nice but no he makes fun of me that I cant breath right. To them ADHD and autism arent real. it's fake so people can be lazy. If I am friends with anyone who's like that then im the weirdo. I'm stupid to even get near them. im so done.