#am i even a real person
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abyssalcitrus · 14 days ago
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Hate my brain because I have things I say I love, but do I actually know a lot about it?? No !!
Claim to be a fan of outer space. Dont ask me anything about it
Same with the ocean. Ur a marine biology major I'm gonna be leagues behind u
Literally building my own dang story around ancient Scottish history. My entire lower bookshelf is all Scotland. Have I read any of it ??? Not really !!!!
im a fraud
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crispyliza · 11 months ago
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Person: oh you're from Greece? I was actually conceived there haha
Me: yeah haha...
Person: oh sorry, tmi?
Me: no, not at all! It's just that... I'm kinda jealous
Person: ...of me being conceived in Greece?
Me: of you being conceived in general. I'm an IVF baby :(
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beidak-art · 4 months ago
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sleepless night
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inkskinned · 19 days ago
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you know, you know. no gods, no masters, no kings on pedestals. everyone is fallible. death of the author. you know! you are balanced about your intake of media - you allow the wiggle room, the grace, the gratitude, the skepticism. nobody above criticism.
but still. a weird gut-punch feeling, something akin to betrayal. you read the article. surprise! an author you love is actually: a serial fucking predator.
well, shit. what now. no, you knew he was a person (all people are), but now you're wondering - what have i overlooked by accident? what messages have i internalized that are strange and cruel? and also, like, what the fuck?
his actions lay a thick glaze on top of everything. like each place is now ruined, opaque in a new way. but okay, fine, you've done this before. you knew better, right? you've been betrayed by many a cherished childhood author.
still, this stickiness. fuck. can you pick up that book again. will you read it to your children. you've recommended it to others - will you ever do that again? and of course, of course, no parasocial relationships. you were theoretically above this kind of sentiment. but the artist informs the art, right.
so it's not something as clear-cut as feeling he owed you, specifically (a stranger) better behavior - just that you kind of, in a distant and odd way... sort of trusted him to do better. it's not like a real trust or something speakable, just the faint hope that the product (good books) was a thin representation of the soul. now it feels like the product (good? books?) was a mask. in some small or insignificant way, your previous support of this person lent them power. your money and your time and your laughter.
and the thing is - you have this terrible, echoing sensation. how many times will this happen? over and over. you find out that the singer you love is actually a predator. you learn over drinks that your favorite high school english teacher is in jail for what he did to her. you listen to the news idly and suddenly discover that a woman you used to idolize has been abusing her kids for an actual eon.
what can you touch without the static melting off. you can't even really complain about it too much (you were supposed to know better, and besides, you don't want the same re-split "it's not your fault, love what you love" basic advice), but now it's here. somehow, it feels like - you let him into your life.
it's not that things need to be pure or an artist has to be like, endlessly perfect, mindful. demure. it's more just this terrible truth that has been replayed through your veins so often it feels criminally vain. power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. did you want any one person to be worth that power?
it's just that he wrote books where he seemed to understand that. he seemed to know about hierarchies and unfair systems and bigotry and privilege. you thought they were books about what it means to struggle. you thought they were about having power and still using it for good rather than for control. he spooned you a narrative of being a good guy, a kind soul. you fucking bought what that fucking monster sold.
maybe that's why they were fantasies, after all.
#spilled ink#warm up#oh im .... sick to my stomach.#i talked to him. like ....... we talked. that man interacted with my poetry and writing.#that article.... gutwrenching. i am so sorry to everyone he's ever even been in the room with.#i feel.... like... unbearably. sick.#he acted like he was cool and friends with me!! we were cool internet writers together!!!!!#i feel sick for even having been polite to him.#i ...... am experiencing something so fucking complicated.#i wonder how many of u are feeling that too. like ''oh i sent him an ask and he was funny and sweet''#THATS HOW THEY GET U. ..... and YES I KNOW!!!#i am so fucking well-read about parasocial relationships. it would just be nice to like. trust that someone ISNT#hiding a huge fucking background of BEING A COMPLETE MONSTER. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK.#by the way i am not part of a fandom. this is “what the fuck i accidentally supported a rapist” not#“but my showww”. like i care far more about like. the human cost.#but also like... people are people. idk i saw a take on here about how nobody should mourn the books#and idk. people almost always reply to any scenario with their personal experience first -#''i knew him'' or ''wow i was just at that store'' or ''i grew up there'' or whatever. because that is how we establish connection &#emotional weight. that's just... a person thing. and there is a difference between 'oh this guy is a monster'' & the feeling of:#he's been a monster and i SUPPORTED THAT. i CELEBRATED him. i !!! a fucking victim myself!!!!!!!!! SUPPORTED . HIM.#i am sick. i feel so much pain for her and everyone he's ever hurt. saying ''the books are ruined'' is i think ... like how people say#they're shocked and disgusted by him. (obviously there's nuance here. im sure there's some creep doin it wrong. but u know. in general)#idk..... im an author. i understand my work is in your life in whatever small way. i understand that connection. it's real.
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caffstrink · 2 months ago
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je n'ai pas peur, je suis née pour faire ça
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b0tster · 8 months ago
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its fucking embarassing having to do this every 6 months. i swear to god.
deadbunny is not a necrophile. he did not desecrate a corpse.
he made an edgy drawing to cope with a death years ago.
it is a drawing.
it will not hurt anyone.
i retweeted bunlith fanart from him forever ago. i left polite replies when he leaves comments on my post throughout the years. we are not besties.
'but he gets off to it' do me a favor and talk to a lesbian. romanticizing death in a theoretical fashion is not new.
stop trying to use this as an excuse to slander me. its pathetic, and sad.
i dont talk about this because i dont want to participate in dragging his trauma up every 6 months but im left with no choice.
i am done with this. do not do it again.
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marciaillust · 2 months ago
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bro fuck it im workposting. i did illustrations, i storyboarded, i directed. I did many cool things in 2024 and millions of people all over the world saw em. that has to count for something
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just-aro · 1 year ago
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*sigh*
I'm seeing variations of this meme around again, so to today's (un)lucky 10000:
the "inside you there are two wolves" meme is racist. full stop. it was invented by a Christian pastor in the late 70s and attributed to the Cherokee nation, despite being completely made up. every native american / indigenous page I've ever followed denounces it as made up and racist, using their imagery to sound mystical and wise while ignoring the people themselves.
please consider using another format. try to use your guilt productively: I'm not calling you out, this is aimed at educating. You can't erase not knowing in the past, but you can elect to 1) not reblog these in the future, 2) delete any that are easy to delete, 3) help to spread education by following native people's accounts and news so that you hear this from them, not me.
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crustyfloor · 5 months ago
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A new pop-up store dropped for ALIEN STAGE's 2nd anniversary and wow. It's so sick.
It's Interesting what exactly these experiments are focusing on and monitoring.
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Instrument practice
I found it interesting earlier that Till was so tame, more so than he usually is when he's going through experiments, but music, and making music is what he loves doing, So he was fully in his element here. This was probably the only thing he was made to do by the aliens that he at least tolerated.
(Additionally, judging by his collar (orange), he was at least calm. maybe he just isn't fazed anymore.)
//Side note, that head contraption looks familiar BUT this most likely isn't related at least i hope
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(It puts me at ease, at least..)
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Dance practice
This surprised me, but I suppose Mizi needed more skills.
She looks very startled here, and nervous(?) +It looks like she's doing this while singing. And with that face covering I assume this was a test monitoring her dance balance, precision, etc. At first, I did think it was odd, "Why would Shine put her through that" But alas I was reminded that even though Mizi is the flower of the group she was never untouchable, to Shine, this was the equivalent of teaching your dog to sit and stay.
(seeing this it reminded me of those scenes in movies where the people are dancing, and the music gets faster and faster until they fall. I wonder if she was doing through something similar to that)
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Singing practice (?)
Similar to Till she also looks quite calm outwardly, if the machine around her neck is an iteration of the collars they have, then this process wasn't something she liked, or given how intense this experiment looks, this was a test of high-pressure to ensure she always stayed calm during performances (?). Then again this could also be a posture practice given all the structure focused on maintaining her position.
(What I believe was another form of this test was shown before so I think so)
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(With her hands in a praying stance I wonder if she was praying to herself or singing a religious song (sweet dream?) It's also interesting that the machinery around her looks like a halo, and she looks so...angelic? holy?)
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Image making practice
By image making, I think they made Ivan replicate expressions with his face. Whether this process was painful for him or not...I'm not sure. But it looked visibly uncomfortable, maybe that was the point. (His expression, even in this circumstance is so dubious..)
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Ivan, among other things, needed to have a spotless appearance to be successful, his image was a priority given his skills were certainly guaranteed.
I assume the aliens eventually took note of his lack of expression, in the real world this can be a detriment to one's career, so the Aliens had to ensure quality was perfect. (To a more...dedicated level)
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Superiority test
'Superiority test' Is very vague.
HyunA is very calm here too, likely sedated in that water with all the tablets on her. I guess this was a test to get an idea of a pet human's strengths and weaknesses, endurance, and temperament to compare and contrast them with others, testing who is more viable for Alien stage?
Another interesting, and sad part about this is that HyunWoo was there, watching his sister through her experiments.
(Also, it looks like both of her legs are normal, no alien leg yet.)
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Heart rate variability
And finally, the most visceral of them all. The wording 'variability' makes this all the more sickening, the Aliens were testing his heart hours, testing it at different rates, speeds, and states. And he was in agony the entire time. Even the way he's clutching his chest, it gives me chills. This would've been a completely harmless test in a normal setting, as something quite similar to this can be performed efficiently in real life. But he's being tortured in the process.
This is one of the first times we've ever seen Luka's face so truly clear and unprotected, (understandably so.) He's even crying.
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bixels · 6 months ago
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I'm not explaining why re-imagining characters as POC is not the same as white-washing, here of all places should fucking understand.
#personal#delete later#no patrick. “black washing” is not as harmful as white washing.#come on guys get it together#seeing people in my reblogs talk about “reverse racism” and double standards is genuinely hypocrisy#say it with me: white washing is intrinsically tied to a historical and systematic erasure of poc figures literature and history.#it is an inherently destructive act that deplatforms underrepresented faces and voices#in favor of a light-skinned aesthetic hegemony#redesigning characters as poc is an act of dismantling symbols of whiteness in fiction in favor of diversification and reclamation#(note that i am talking about individual acts by individual artists as was the topic of this discourse. not on an industry-scale)#redesigning characters as poc is not tied to hundreds of years of systemic racism and abuse and power dynamics. that is a fact.#you are not replacing an underrepresented person with an oft-represented person. it is the opposite#if you feel threatened or upset or uncomfortable about this then sorry but you are not aware of how much more worse it is for poc#if representation is unequal then these acts cannot be equivalent. you can't point to an imbalanced scale and say they weigh the same#if you recognize that bipoc people are minorities then you should recognize that these two things are not the same#while i agree that “black washing” can lead to color-blind casting and writing the behavior here is on an individual level#a black artist drawing their favorite anime character as black because they feel a shared solidarity is not a threat to you#i mean. most anime characters are east asian and i as an east asian person certainly don't feel threatened or erased. neither should you.#there's much to be said about the politics of blackwashing (i don't even know if that's the right word for it)#but point standing. whitewashing is an inherently more destructive act. both through its history of maintaining power dynamics#and the simple fact that it's taking away from groups of people who have less to begin with#if you feel upset or uncomfortable about a fictional white character being redesigned as poc by an artist on twitter#i sincerely hope you're able to explore these feelings and find avenues to empathizing with poc who have had their figures#(both real and fictional) erased; buried; and replaced by white figures for hundreds of years#i sincerely hope you can understand the difference in motivations and connotations behind whitewashing and blackwashing#classic bixels “i'm not talking about this chat. i'm not” (puts my media studies major to use in the tags and talks the fuck outta it)
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marzipanandminutiae · 3 months ago
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seriously though, when DID 3 AM As The Spooky Hour enter folklore?
some sources online insist that it's traditional, but I never heard of it until maybe high school at the earliest (2008-2011). and then it was often phrased as "many people think midnight is the Spooky Hour, but AKSHULLY it's 3 AM!!!!" like a diversion from normal ideas, not something that had been in the zeitgeist forever
sadly nobody has done a deep dive into this online, with actual sources, and I don't really have the resources to do more than poke around on Google Books and be like "well, no English-language writing from the 19th century that's been digitized in this specific database mentions it!"
thoughts?
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clouvu · 1 year ago
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Acorn x Wobin thoughts on the brain rn
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kalashnikovlobotomy · 5 months ago
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(and to getting it back without someone else coming along with it)
bear with me. please keep an open mind. however if you don't want aimless details of this scenario feel free to ignore, there's really not much plot just context.
in this one ame botches a manic magic portal ritual and gets decapitated by accident, and his head disappears but his body is still somewhat sentiment? its not particularly intelligent but it still functions (comically). canada takes his body to england (arthur bc this isn't nationverse anymore) to open a proper portal and him and the body then head (haha) into the unknown dimension to retrieve his head.
meanwhile ame (just a head) is found by rus who is a kind of demon entity of that dimension... they have a "humans are lame" plan to find ame another body and make him an entity too, rus claims it's so he has a friend but ame would be more of a servant by magic system rules and would not be able to return home without the other (not that he knows. rus does though). cana plans to turn ame normal. 🤦‍♂️...
bottom line is, cana (and ame, independently from eachother) squealing like a girl because the demon world is scary, the inherent freakiness of whatever they have going on, iykyk iydyd, ame body walking into walls and ame head carried like a lantern by the scarf and talking to rus. i also like the idea of them somehow messing something up and all three ending up back in the human dimension, except ame is still in two pieces and whatever rus touches visually starts to spiral so they have to go back and fix something. a few more episodes should come after this. ill let you know when i settle on an ending. yay!
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sophiphi · 6 months ago
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Guys. GUYS. listen to me- kate carter is a natural brunette. no i’m not just saying that because daisy edgar jones has brown hair naturally, there’s a picture of young kate and her mom that is shown in the scene where she comes back home. I caught it on my second rewatch. I mean ofc you could chalk up her darker roots to it just being a dirty blonde but no, she really is a brunette.
Which brings me to this thought- I wonder what Tyler’s reaction (along with the others ofc) would be when they see Kate with brown hair. Let’s say her blonde dye was growing out enough for her to decide to dye it back. Maybe she does it when she went back to NY for a bit before going back to Oklahoma. Will there be chaos? Definitely. Will Tyler Owens get a heart attack? Duh. Like, imagine the possibilities guys, hellooo
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crispywizardtale · 3 months ago
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kinaaaard · 8 months ago
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not to be petty or bemoan what should be a ostensibly ignored talking point but it is kind of ridiculous that so many of the anti-tommy people (mostly on twitter) harp on about how they don’t find lou to be attractive (to paraphrase some of the gentler sentiments passed around).
which, fine, YOU don’t have to find him attractive. that’s your prerogative! but your favorite tv character does find him attractive, which is what….matters. it feels indicative of a larger issue that….shipping folks need both sides of their ship to be CW-looking men. non-threatening with gentler features, model-tuned and effete. in the larger scheme of things, lou is VERY attractive. but when it comes to shipping fictional characters, they need to have softer, more affable features — almost like they need to appeal purely to a certain subsection of the female gaze! which is ridiculous.
lou is a man, LOOKS like a traditionally masculine man. which is part of the reason buck likes tommy so much. which is not to say that any other actor isn’t that (traditionally masculine, esp while playing a gay character) but once it breaches outside their accepted barriers of what a….shippable man should look like, it comes off as spiteful and childish, and ultimately, a deviation of what the “aesthetically pleasing” presentation of what a gay couple should look like. I don’t know lmfao i’m just really peeved at the people going after lou’s looks.
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