#i work and i create and its real
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bro fuck it im workposting. i did illustrations, i storyboarded, i directed. I did many cool things in 2024 and millions of people all over the world saw em. that has to count for something
#brawl stars#marcia#i dont workpost because i am deeply aware nobody here is here for brawl stars but on god i#i work and i create and its real#and there is a part of me thats ashamed because i know that brawls is not. like its not league of legends you know?#league of legends is something you post about#about the skin you helped create or sculpted#or the splash art you painted#its has that... value that is obvious even in the eyes of a person who has never played league#its a very mature visual language that historically calls for respect#meanwhile presenting brawl stars art feels like showing my anime girl oc to an art teacher#even mentioning an illust i created for a skin announcement for brawl stars feels so#so dollar store#so laughable#like noone would take me seriously#it feels like when you say you're an artist and then a person asks to see your art#and you show them and they get that soft soft look in their eyes that informs you that they had an image of who an “artist” is in their hea#and that you did not live up to it but all they'll say is 'oh thats nice'#bro help me im doing art elitism to myself#how can i simultaneously believe that art can be anything and yet only neoclassical realism has real value#i want to be creatively free yet all i do is fear the unimpressed looks of strangers
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Rewatched Moist & Magical and thinking about the gender of it all.
"I wanted to be a witch" "You cannae be a witch" "Why cannae I be a witch" "Because you're a boy. You can be a warlock or a wizard" "I want to be a boy witch"
Like initially the premise gets played off as a smart gender joke within the meta of the storytelling and becomes a major plot point along the way, but I can't stop thinking about it.
I don't want to be a boy or a girl, but some shade between and yet outside it all. I want to be a woman with a beard and long hair and gravel in my voice. I want to be a man in eye liner and a skirt and work boots laced tight. I feel some of my most feminine when I am wearing baggy, heavy clothes or building sets for a show. I still refuse to wear glasses that aren't that hipster square shape and made of dark material because it makes my face look more masculine. I dressed up as a vampire for halloween this year and looking into a mirror and seeing my high hairline and stubble poking through and the corset hugging me and my hair long and fluffy and a dark red lip and an open view of my chest that I don't hide from anymore and I felt so at home in my body in a way that I haven't in years. My relationship to gender not easy to figure out, and, as someone living in it, digesting it is laborious. And I don't expect everyone to get it; that's not the point. That was never the point. The crux of it all: Boys, if magical, can be ONLY a warlock or a wizard.
But I want to be a boy witch.
#something something 4 white british men creating gender metaphors from their improv shows#but truly its a concept ive been trying to describe for forever of feeling outside of gender but deeply entrenched in it as well#going from a point of no concept of gender as a child beyond where you piss or being defined as a mom or dad#to suddenly experiencing puberty and i dont hate everything but its not right and now im something im not#to add on top of the whole autism and poor socialization skills and youve got the real workings of an uh oh sandwich#anyways uhhhh gender is stored in the crystal ball ig#sfth#shoot from the hip#moist and magical#shout out to sam he keeps doing shit that hits me right in the gender about it all
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I hate AI. You wanna see your favorite character say something? Here
Dick Grayson: Hi, Don't use AI to make me say things. I'm literally a fictional character, just think.
Look at that Nightwing himself told you not to! Want another?
Dean Winchester: AI is fuckin' stupid, nothing can fake being a human on my watch.
Wow, amazing!
Support the actual humans in your fandom.
#ai#fuck ai#why does ai get to write and do art and create music while some real people cant? why is ai talking over human leasure activities?#why cant ai work for us instead of talking our creativity?#if you write a fanfic that is all one block of text with no plot and horrible spelling its better some bs chat gpt 'wrote’#dc comics#robin#dick grayson#nightwing#dean winchester#jensen ackles#supernatural#support human artists#support human writers#support fanfic writers#anti ai#some of you are getting a little too chummy with AI#🗞stop🗞using🗞AI🗞#even the most mediocre human art is better then ANYTHING AI can 'create'#'bUt i WaNt tO aCtUaLly tAlK tO tHeM.' go find a roleplay account
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I bet there were entire origin system groups dedicated to no-moon truthers. Moon just never existed, you can't prove it did, not to them anyway. Kinda like flat earthers but in the Warframe universe where they don't believe in Lua.
#the moon is just a myth we made it up same with the moon landing; there was nothing to land on in the first place /j#I mean I could certainly see the corpus having life long running bets as to whether or not the moon existed in the first place#given the quote from alad v in the second dream quest that would certainly support the idea that it's a huge thing in universe#anti lua groups like flat earthers probably lost their shit when it got brought back out of the void like NO WAY IT WAS REAL!?#i had to compress and reduce the FPS so much for this gif to work you have no idea lmao#the lotus created probably entire groups of history deniers on accident just to protect the reservoir and our operator#its the little details that some of us like to overthink regarding Warframe's worldbuilding & lore isn't it? AUDHD is fun sometimes!#mod rose#warframe confession#warframe#alad v
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its interesting to me that the common sentiment appears to be that han sooyoung intended for jang hayoung to be trans. I think there's room for multiple interpretations, but I view being trans in orv as being inherently tied to the themes of self-actualization, as well as the idea that a narrative is unable to be fully defined by either author or reader. put more simply, jang hayoung is trans regardless of either kim dokja OR han sooyoung's intentions in creating her, or in how they each interpreted her. maybe the version of her in the novel was meant to be something else, but in the reality of this world, she is a trans girl. han sooyoung's intentions kind of don't matter there because the text has moved beyond its author
#narrates#orv#orv spoilers#i guess its like. its not Incorrect that kim dokja misinterprets her (this is a major part of their interactions obviously)#but the assumption seems to be that hes misinterpreted her all along and she was supposed to be trans. which. eh?#again i can see it but i like this reading a lot more#when i discuss characters paralleling kim dokja in some way it is always fully independent of my considering of hsys authorship btw#thats interesting for me to consider separately but i tend to just. enjoy parallels as parallels#as fun as it is to think about how hsys writing choices characterize her. i really like how deeply orv is influenced by death of the author#again it just feels more thematically appropriate to consider orv as a work created in a specific real world context#then to speculate on how writing comes from an author. as interesting as orv's in-text author legitimately is
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There's a deep irony in Berserk being so admired by people who really really hate what Berserk is about on an emotional level, but especially when writers want to take influence from it. Because Berserk is very strong thematically, and someone who can't acknowledge subtext is going to whiff on emulating anything good.
#And by that I mean that like many of its influences and descendants the plot is fundamentally driven by toxic gay shit lol#Listen there's just no beating around the bush here: you either understand this type of story is super emotional#That the softness and hope and love for humanity is vital connective tissue between the edgy violent dark setting#And that at its core the queerness is *central*#Or you will just end up creating something toothless and cynical with tokenizing bullshit at best#You cannot make that lightning strike twice if you're too scared to even write that shit as ACTUALLY core to the plot#You don’t have to make your shit gay to be good you just have to understand if your major influence was gay and why#So that you respect subtext and thematic writing and emotional resonance in writing in general#And maybe understand that if you also want credit for pushing the envelope you get where the real standard is#This is one of those things I see in equal measure in dudebro homophobes and supposedly progressive queers#No that wasn't “bait/delusion” it was barely subtext and if you go into writing with that attitude you're going to write shallow shit lol#I genuinely believe when people lament about reading comprehension they're actually talking about willful ignorance#Because willfull ignorance *does* cause a need to deny reality to a point where it warps your ability to understand information#Having difficulty comprehending text from a learning disability or improper teaching#Has fucking nothing on someone whose deliberately trained themselves to rationalize away anything uncomfortable#Tag rant over but this shit really is a plague and you can see it so starkly when it comes to Berserk#An undeniably respectable work from a place many envious little goblins that covet it do not actually respect
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To also go off of the point about cop!akihiko being annoying to me I gotta say that Akihiko as a character is very hit or miss with me because of how different adaptations of p3 will subtly alter his character. I felt like in portable with the femc route he comes off best, he’s a bit of a hothead with an obsession with fighting, but he’s overcompensating his strength so he doesn’t feel as weak and helpless as he’s been in many situations. He defines strength in a very literal sense, being physically strong and using that to protect others, but he’s lacking in emotional strength as a result. And in particular in this version I think he’s portrayed as a bit more goofy and sweet in a sense. He cares deeply for you as a friend and leader but he struggles with finding the words to describe how he feels. Hes kinda naive and gullible and has trouble noticing his surroundings. He has no clue what he’s doing but his heart is in the right place. I think he just comes off much more human and he has flaws, many many flaws, and that makes him all the more lovable
But then in other adaptations and spinoffs it’s like. They look at him through some hetero male bullshit filter and seem to view him as a lot more admirable and cool. Like in p3 dancing, theres literally an event where he’s talking with Junpei and Minato and they’re gushing about how perfect Akihiko is and how he doesn’t seem to have ANY flaws at all. And it becomes clear his inability to flirt with women just gets added as a way to make sure you, the Straight Male Player, don’t get insecure being next to such Perfection because at the end of the day, you’re still more charming and sexy than he will ever be because you’re better. It’s a “flaw” that’s only there to shield a sensitive male ego. And then in arena I mean, come on. He’s overly beefy and is a damn cop and travels the world and loves Protein™️ it’s his whole personality and he’s so clearly meant to be seen as hot but like, he’s just some shitty hetero male fantasy. Hes what the writers deem to be a Perfect Man that every guy wishes he could be, but don’t worry he’s still bad with women so you don’t gotta worry about him stealing your property- I mean, girlfriend!
And though I’ve not played reload and don’t really plan to anytime soon, judging from his social episodes they seem to have a similar problem. Akihiko comes off as a lot less approachable, like the year age gap is just too much of a barrier to get to know him properly. And he doesn’t have that dorky sweetness he has in portable, he’s just that perfect hetero male fantasy guy and don’t you fucking worry- he still has his protein powder with him
#persona#persona 3#akihiko sanada#does this make sense like i feel like im going crazy cuz okay#akihiko isnt in my top 3 characters (shinji ken and fuuka lol) but hes teetering on the edge hes number 4!#i really loved him in portable i worked my ass off to get his social link i had him on my team the entire game#i found him really cute and endearing and hilarious but then like i played dancing#and er well i never got all his events cuz im bad at that game but i noticed that subtle difference#and then watching reload clips i felt it again i was like good god i hate this guy i wanna beat him up#which is so weird since hes one of my favorite characters so like what the hell is that#but i really think it is just this filter hes being presented with like when hes supposed to be a love interest#hes allowed to be more flawed and adorably pathetic and sensitive#like hes the one who wants to do the protecting but you end up protecting him you know?#so yeah this is what i mean when i say that if any straight person looks at akihiko sanada i will melt them with lasers#my mitsuru rant is a lot longer but its very similar just that ughh disgusting filter shes presented through I HATE IT I HATE IT SO MUCH#i think having kotone as the protagonist fixes most problems so i consider that the solution lol but i think Aki not getting a real social#link is a major disservice and creates that super annoying upperclassman divide that makes him unapproachable and idolized
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BADGER! BADGER! BADGER!
I wanted to show off this small set of badger-themed sculptures (in cold porcelain and painted with acrylics) I have been working on during the month ✨ After reading and investigating about servitors/magical self-created companions, I intended to make anchors for the one I'm working with!
And is a badger because I'm following my gut and my brain is very attached to the animal so, why not ride that wave of energy? (The dual bolines/sickles have too both visual and functional symbolism, mostly aligned to cleaning/reaping energies + moon phases).
The first two actually are for the vessels/anchor: the bigger one was the first try and ended just a few millimeters tall to enter properly on the destined tin I'm using to hide it in (I live in a place where's not safe to do my practice publicly so, I need to keep concealed); then I did the second try and ended super chibi for my tastes but x'D there.
The third is simply just a recreation of the animal because I want to pet the critter without the need of retrieving the vessels at all times.
The last one is my fav of the bunch: a tiny, super chonky badger bead!!! I want to do more in the future and put all of them on a string with other tiny trinkets for good luck and protection.
I have time without sculpting something so, these were a great starting point and I hope to do more themed around other animals I feel they align to my energy and spiritual needs!
#myart#tactile realities#windydrawallday sculptures#witchy side of the wind#chaos magic#servitors#animal ally#i cant call it spirit because of its artificial nature even if a simulacrum of a real animal#i never delved this deep on my craft but my soul gravitates and points at it that i say WHY NOT#and at the same time i want to have certain control over this so#i will work with a creation of my own and at the same time sprinkle archetypes that im familiar with#i know vessels dont need to be fancy but IM A VERY TACTILE person so#creating these figurines reaffirm for me my attachment and desire to make this work#and if nothing works at least i can say i tried and have cute trinkets to carry around sdjkfhsdhf#i feel a tad cringe for sharing these but AAA#THIS IS HOW I KILL THAT FEEL
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I'm alive (light-heartedly). Thank y'all for being so patient with me. I have been having some trouble writing requests for a bit, and I've been a little worn out.
I'm going to just focus on the poll fic for this weekend and try to get other stuff done next month. It's been hard for me to actually get started, but I'm enjoying the process with this one, so hopefully you all will like the NSFW Beel x Diavolo x MC content I'll have for you, some time on the 31st (I hope).
#moss update#also if I can elaborate a little#warning: venting in the tags#but I did kinda pop off with it so maybe give it a read?#I feel a bit disconnected with my words as of late. I can write something but it's hard to tell if it sounds like my other writing#I feel like I've taken my usual voice picked it up and just sort of dropped it in an adjacent location#I can see how I would usually write but it's more like I'm trying to mimic the usual narrative path in real time instead of creating it#like tracing the veins of some familiar creature#and trying to follow the pulsing of blood so I can use its rhythm in my own Frankenstein-ian creature.#It's awkwardly intimate but my hands are doomed to the work of piecing something together.#I happily crazily do it#knowing that I crave it so intensely that it must be done at any means.#Even if it involves this self-conscience feeling of self-mimicry.#How else can I get back to my sense of voice if not to relearn it all over again?
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.
#i never really post about my Real Life Stuff on this account anymore but i feel like i must acknowledge the elephant in the room.#especially as a lesbian who lives in one of the most backwards southern states in the country.#the last few days have been an emotional rollercoaster for me. because of politics; because of work; because of a lot of stuff.#i know a lot of you are feeling the same which sucks but also shows we are in this together!#there is so much to be angry about but now more than ever i want to focus on the things i love#i love my family. i love my friends. i love my community. i love you.#i love creating art and consuming it. i love my job for giving me the means to help people even if its in a relatively small capacity.#i love being a lesbian no matter how loud hateful idiots believe they can be.#anyways.#hang in there guys. stay safe. stay connected. isolating yourself is not the answer.#carolcore
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Do you mind if I have a message to the Anons? (you can just ignore this ask if you don't wanna post it)
My Dear Anons and everyone here present
Plz Let Kawa Cook and Chill a little
As you could see from the last posts, she didn't had a nice time lately, so she deserves to just sit and enjoy her drawings If she will be ready to show us some of her gorgouse work, she'll show it
Guys plz remember that asking Artists "When will be the next chapter of this and that", "What are you cooking there" isn't always a good thing, there are a lot of us here, it can make the artist tired and it (in my opinon) doesn't really help to get more motivation if everyone is asking these questions
Guys! Some mistery from the Artist side is good! It will hype us more!
(Again Kawa, you can just ignore this Ask if you are not comfortable with answering it, I hope that you feel a little better then before)
Okay, so.
Today was my first day in a new school. Im very anxious about this. New people, new surroundings, new stuff to learn and new responsibilities.
Because of my school year starting, I'll have less time for myself which means less time to draw and write :(
-
Im planning on some stuff for you, but I dont wanna tell you what it is. I want you to have a surprise & its much less pressure for me!
& I dont mind asks, comments, dms, requests or questions. I like when you talk to me!
Just please be patient with me, and thank you!
HAVE A NICE DAY/NIGHT/ANYTHING!!!!!!🩵🩷🩵🩷🩵🩷🩵🩷omg the hearts are so pretty what yhe hell
#ask#ok time for stuff im too embarassed to say out loud#the whole attention and kind feedback makes me feel accepted and important even which i dont feel on daily basis#i do realize its internet and not real life which makes it impossible for me to get attached to but its still very nice#im flustered when you guys get hyperfixated over my stuff or when you create something because i inspired you#its just.#so cool to see you make stuff#also im not joking. asks dont make me feel pressed or anxious at all#btw the thing im working on is smiliar to arcane crossover :)#i hope i will finish it LMFAO my ass just cant focus on finish one thing at a time /hj
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The device theory by Molly stars is my lord of the rings.
#GOD ITS SO FUCKING LONG BUT I LOVE IT#the idea of the game being a sort of device to me is completely canon because it works so well and its cool as fuck#very similar to how Oneshot and Off executed the idea of you connecting to a world through a program#but deltarune is going yo take that concept as far as possible i think#darker. yet darker even.#GOD IM SO FUCKING EXCITED FOR THE NEXT CHAPTERS#RAAAAAAH I FUCKING LOVE META NARRATIVES#I LOVE CHARACTERS HAVING THEIR REALITY SHATTER AROUND THEM AND THE DECONSTRUCTION OF VIDEO GAMES AS A CONCEPT#Also the idea of darker yet darker referring to creating fiction within fiction and blurring the lines of reality is so fucking cool#idk but visually it evokes the image of silent hill 2 in the prison when your repeatedly descending down stairs/holes#the idea of going further and further as you lose grip on whats real#also the idea of a character (probs Dess) being stuck in the physical game code is such an awesome idea#watching the community go from “oh hey undertale 2!” to “oh god what the fuck is happening” is fantastic#deltarune just has such an eerie undertone to its story its fucking wonderful#even when its bright and happy the moment you dig deeper it starts becoming genuinely unnerving#sorry i love deltarune#random rambles#deltarune#the device theory
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i think image gen can be used like any other artistic tool but I don't really think the big commerical proponents of "ai" are advertising it as a tool, they're adertising it as a solution. I also think it's intellectually dishonest to argue that image generation is exactly like "using photoshop/taking a photograph" because of some generalized "those were also criticized at their conception for being new and scary and disruptive" soundbite. they were not even really criticized for the same reasons. find a better argument.
#it's not serious when someone generates a meme image and ai can be an artistic medium that takes a lot of "effort” (a misaligned word that#i think we need to uncouple from “protestant work ethic” and “human worth” because anything you create#takes effort and that's neutral it has no value it's just unaviodable.#the issue is when we start deciding for ourself how much effort something took for someone else and judge them as less for it]#i also don't think “art” has anything to do with effectivity or the time it took to make. it's just communication man#the openai people don't want you to do something real with their model they want#ikea to use it for generating those paintings they hang in their showrooms.#oh and also. piling on. “the photoshop takes no effort the computer does all the work” was always bunk like anybody who's used any digital#image editing program knows that? because the people saying this literally imagined photoshop working like an image generator lmao.#and that has mostly died down because the accessability of computers that can run photoshop and its ilk has grown to the point#that people realize using photoshop is a pain.#while the photography criticism was strong a 100 years after the invention of photography. on philosophical grounds. brecht hated#photography and he was born 50 years after its conception.#everything that’s criticised isnt like everything else that’s criticised
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"we know you all don't like being at the office two times a week, but think back to 5 years ago when you were all working full time at the office"
How about we think back 4 years ago when we were working full time from home with apparently no issues (specifically about work)??
#i swear to god#if your only arguments for us being at the office twice a week is 'think back to when you were full time'#'you're lucky some people are back more days than you or full time even'#then you have no real arguments to justify being so often at the office#we all know its because downtown is dying without office workers working daily and because office spaces are expensive#and you want to justify that in your budget#'its to create opportunities to work on projects with different teams'#my man#ive worked/im working on different projects#and guess what#when i need to talk to someone.... its via teams 🙂#work rant
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The tragedy of having my hands full of work until at least next week and suddenly remembering how much I love and miss Lies of P while living my Geats fever because I need stalker!Riders injected on my veins to keep living
#will tag them to manifest to the universe my need of while my hands are too busy — dont mind me#lies of p#kamen rider geats#i already talked about this once on twitter but i was born with a severe case of bRAZILLIAN#just like d2 fed a lot of my aus now lop is my mental playground#im still weak to the steampunk victorian dystopic puppetto made with souls worldbuilding#and i'm just scratching the surface here bc the wake-up call was stalkers with animal masks#like we already have fox and cat volfe siblings you'll always be famous#so technically i would change them to fit geats and na-go - prob make one white and the other yellow instead of red and black#but also wHAT DO YOU MEAN WE DONT HAVE A BULL STALKER— 'its a buffalo'#AND NOT A RACCOON— 'tanukis are not raccoons'#for real tho mad donkey is this *okay emote* close from buffa#and going one floor deeper ergo / giragira hello jyamato and puppets manifesting memories of the dead hELLO#another floor deeper and a godly figure turned into tree/stone //drums#i'm not even mentioning 'idealized child created post-mortem' bc since pinocchio this is a staple but hEY#prob here just like my d2/lop au i would subvert sophia's role bc casuals would think of tsumuri which /fits/ but so would ace#'polux why do you create so much aus if you barely do anything with them' BECAUSE ITS A CURSE ITS MY FATE I'M DOOMED TO AU#technically they help me have inspos for my own original ideas but while i have my own jobs i can't really work on them so i stick to aus
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the funniest part of being in dark academia spaces etc online is that you do really begin to see how like fake all of it is when people are posting and reblogging pictures of your own university (and romanticising your own degree) and they've all just been... desaturated to high heaven like no the shortcut to your lectures doesn't look like that - nothing weirder than seeing people look up to what is essentially half of your life as an aesthetic pinnacle and meanwhile there you are doing studying the classics in an old british university and that is not the vibe
idk it just makes me laugh, seeing photos that can literally include the outside of my own student bedroom being romanticised when i can see very clearly that the sepia filter is blasted to 100 and there aren't tourists everywhere
#like this isn't to sound braggy#like oh i live the real dark academia life#im so lucky to have my degree and my uni#its more a remark on just how fake aesthetic spaces are#and the people who curate them are so aware of that#but those who consume it aren't necessarily as aware#and that it creates this lie that lifts up certain subjects and institutions#without a recognition of how different experiences of that subject or place can be#but the lack of recognition of seasonal change is also very amusing#but it is both funny and sad the obvious manipulation of reality#that said#the reason i am in dark academia spaces is because it motivates me when i feel tired of my degree#to remember my own passion for it#and how lucky i am#and how hard i worked to get here#and that this is my dream#and the desensitisation to the wonder of these places and lifestyles#is a real problem#and we should all live with a little but more sparkle#classics#classics student#classicsblr#latin student#oxbridge#dark academia#seeing people aspire to what you have#as someone who also aspired to it#is inspiring#KEEP GOING#you can make it
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