#am gonna fight some people
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So I can never find which tag it is but here's another rant post. Also, I finally got a therapist so that's a good thing
I am so sick of this
I'm so tired of just when my life starts to ease out, something new happens to derail it
I finally get a therapist, I finally feel fine with my medication, I might get a job soon, and I'm having fun with friends and family. And I might get a boo soon 👀👀👀👀
Can I have just one month or something where something doesn't go wrong?
For those who don't know, my landlord is essentially kicking me out of the place I live. And so I'm having to find an apartment fast. However, I'm also not sure if I have a job yet once I get there. Because if I don't get the job, I don't get to stay where I am and have to move back home to Houston.
And in my head, I've told myself many times that if I have to go back home, imma self oof because I'd rather die than go back home. I won't but I just would hate having to go back. To be stuck in a place where I can't branch out and have fun with friends. Sure, I have friends back at home, but they're not the friends I'm looking forward to. They're not the friends I made by myself with no external forces.
I'm hoping I can get this job since there's 50 other jobs I applied for and did not get the job for. They say that there's so many job openings but there's hundreds of people applying for the same job and you're not super qualified for them, so of course it's gonna go to the best person. Like, what do you want me to do?
I'm also just so frustrated at my landlord. Literally, there have been times when he had someone who wasn't under contract living in the house yet they paid for their room like normal because they had a trust that it would happen. I wasn't sure if I would have this job, thus didn't wanna sign a contract until I was sure that I could even stay. But he went ahead and said that I'm moving out without contacting me first. What was he gonna do if I never texted him? Never tell me? Then what? I probably should have never told him or texted him tbh, but then he likely would have got some court order or somethin, which I trusted him. He's a friend and a leader to me, too. And this feels like a harsh stab to my back. Like what am I supposed to do? He could have told me ages ago, but he said nothing. Luckily some places allow for moving in much earlier but still.
#ranting#suicide tw#not fun#am gonna fight some people#do not worry I will not attemp anything I mention in this post
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straya outfit swap
#vtuber#back on my bullshit#(homeland edition)#axel syrios#hakos baelz#holofateswap#holostars#holotempus#hololive#holocouncil#holopromise#some people still get surprised when I say I'm australian#like IN THE KINDEST WAY POSSIBLE... IT'S ALMOST ALWAYS IN MY BIO. ON EVERY WEBSITE#even tho I mostly put it there bc people were like MINI GO TO SLEEEEPP and I was like THIS IS A NORMAL TIME TO BE AWAKE!!! IN MY TIMEZONE!!#axel always getting the midriff-bearing outfits like#that's just how the swaps turned out but why am I always drawing his tummy#CONGRATS ON THE NEW OUTFIT KING#sorry the first time I'm drawing it isn't even on you#i'm so behind on everything#i love my australian vtubers tho#hope y'all are doing swell#I'm fighting for my life out here but IT'S GONNA BE OK
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what is your favorite thing about charles and your favorite thing about erik? separately, as in what you like most about their characters :]
a devious question this one is, my friend!!! it's hard enough for me to explain my thoughts cohesively, but having to pick ONE thing i particularly love is difficult. with characters like charles and erik, theres been so much done with their characters over the decades and so they have so many components to them that make them so interesting and fun to observe. BUT I TRY FOR YOU TODAY. under the cut i kinda ramble and the size of this text box makin me anxious
i think if i were to be simple and broad, what i enjoy most about charles is his determination to help others, even if he isn't really thanked and/or if people don't even like him. ofc, this isn't to say he hasn't done wrong- to be honest, the fact he does wrong/questionable things at times is another aspect of him i really enjoy, maybe because- broadly speaking- he's meant to be altruistic (intent vs outcome and all that). i don't know if that's super exciting to most people, but it is for me
as for erik, my reason for liking him is easier to explain tbh. To Be Simple And Broad, his progression from villain to antihero over the decades has been fun to observe (as much as i have so far anyhow) and analyze. i think to be a bit more specific, him using his rage and pain as justifications for his villainous actions is definitely what compels me the most: hurt people hurt and the sort, an idea i've always found interesting (something something vicious cycles and the like). yet now, he recognizes this wasn't really. A Just Thing To Do and is beginning to change that, which i enjoy
#snap chats#may you forgive me anon i always feel awkward explaining things AVELKJEAKLJ#i feel esp awkward cause i haven't read toooo much of the comics yet- like ive read. an ok amount so far krakoa wise#can you guys tell im fighting god himself to Not write a fuckin. NOVEL#im so sorry i have an over-explaining problem my mom was mean to me growing up but anyways#i definitely want to read more and more outside krakoa. the more i read the more im fascinated by these two and their history#but to continue my prattling. as if the three paragraphs above arent enough This Is Not A Thesis RELAX#i think a. 'poignant' moment i think adds to what i like about charles too is that soliloquy where he recognizes people dont like him#yet he could always be worse- like if he's bad now to others imagine if he really just said Fuck It All#it's simple but so am i whaddyagonnadoboutit. i mean that point itself could be discussed but i'm trying to keep this brief bear with me#i so bad want to know what issue that's from tho all i know is that it's from krakoa but i neeeed the whole context#i think like. an additional bullet point to charles i also like is his loneliness#and i say this cause- I Say From My Amateur-Psychology Armchair- it's a component of why he's so earnest to help#but im keeping this point in the tags until i can confidently verify that with myself after some more reading#Unfortunately a favorite pass time of mine is psychoanalyzing characters like why else you think i major in psychology smh#im going to force myself to cap the post here because i ended up typing like 20 more tags just rambling#and as i said id like to keep this simple and clean !!!!! i have sat here for like four hours answering this ngl#ignore the fact half that time was spent getting distracted by solitaire and riffling cards ok I Am Very Easily Distracted#but fr when it comes to charles and erik- charles esp imo#i feel like i need to write a whole paper just so i can mention the nuances of the characters and like. EVERYTHING#because again six decades is A Lot of time for writing decisions to be made and for their characters to change over time#im a glazer but i wanna be a nuanced glazer yk. is that glazing at that point-- w/e anyway#its a lot. so today you will have to tolerate a very Blah answer from me which i must apologize for#down the line once ive read a comfortable amount more varying from multiple eras maybe ill revisit this question more in depth#as of right now tho .... chat i wanna get legion of x so bad i skimmed it and hhhhhhhhim gonna throw UP#i need to shake charles like a ragdoll BUT ANYWAY. bye bye for now lovelies !!!!!!!#please forgive me if i didnt answer your question efficiently ..#here i am saying i wanted to keep the tag count brief and yet !!! jesus christ. shut up My God I REACHED THE TAG LIMIT
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My brain just hit an old hyperfixation (is this what it's called? I hope I used the word right) and oh dear am I losing my mind now. I need to write a story I think. About this one old guy. He's unhinged. There's so much information about him and yet not enough. I want to explore his character so much. He's definitely a criminal - at least he was one - and I'm 95% sure he can do actual real magic, and he's a musician and an artist and an actor and a magician and a philosopher and a traveler and a conman and so much more and also I think he's some kind of immortal. Maybe he just has a VERY long life. It's strongly implied he was a pirate at some point of his life. He started a cult by accident several times. My conspiracy theories about him include him being a secret god.
He's also a freaking round blue raven. Someone save me from my mind.
#seriously why is he so cool#he's like. a ball.#he's ROUND#if no one stops me I'm gonna make an au and introduce all my mutuals to a russian cartoon that lives in my head rent-free#it has an obviously mysterious old man and an old woman who seems to be very normal but actually has some weird past as well#and they're in love you can fight me on this THEY. ARE. IN LOVE.#there's a disastrous scientist who keeps forgetting to sleep and is kinda cute in a nerdy way#there's a mechanic guy who lives a bit away from everyone surrounded by tech and he's actually unhinged#he's a single father btw. he made a robot baby because he was lonely. it's very important for his character.#I WILL ship the scientist and the mechanic because no one can stop me <3#there's a local farmer who was a famous disco dancer an archeologist and a VERY famous actor in the past. he doesn't care about it anymore.#he was like. Captain America actor kind of famous. or Superman.#and then he just committed a bunch of crimes for his new friends and left to live in a village far away from big cities#all those people with very suspicious past raise a bunch of children together#absolutely inseparable adhd and autism best friends boys who I think are capable of destroying the world#and toxic teenagers couple:#a girl who honestly needs to figure herself out first before dating anyone and a poet boy who is SO deeply in love with her it's not okay#the farmer dude also has a rebellious teenager niece who visits him sometimes#and the mechanic's kid is usually in space but sometimes returns and I am not ashamed to admit that I cried during some of those episodes#I am going to think about them. they are so important to me.#I am going insane.#also yes they are all round animals. if you're wondering.#someone just tranquillise me already or something. it's 5 a.m. and I am losing my sanity
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It’s come to my attention that a lot of people in the BES fandom are new to fandom-culture in general (or lack there of; we denizens of tumblr are residents of a cesspool) and don’t know a lot of general old school online manners, laid down in Days of Yore by earlier generations. So let me bring up a crucial one that is generally being ignored on tumblr in the BES-sphere: ship tagging!
I am not doing this to condescend, I genuinely want to be helpful and to help us all enjoy our enclosure and our enrichment in said enclosure together. I think a lot of grief going around the blue eye samurai world on social media could be solved if everyone remembered one good old cardinal rule of fandom bullshit:
you do not put ship wank in a ship’s general tag.
let me say that one more time in different terms:
If you want to rant about how much you hate a ship, general practice has always been, on tumblr anyway, not to do so in the safe space created for said ship.
once again, lemme be very clear; I don’t give one rat’s ass or 800 collective asses of rats what you ship, why you ship it, whether you ship anything at all, why you hate x y z, etc. That’s great, that’s what fandom is for! Enjoy yourself! The issue is that there’s all this infighting fuckery going on that is exhausting to even watch from the sidelines, and I think there’s a lot of confusion as to why anyone is fighting over any of this shit at all as it is 2024 and ship wars are 2011 superwholock garbage that we all collectively agreed to jettison into space by 2015, ya feel me?
(and if you like to start shit and throw hands then obv this post isn’t for you as you know what you’re doing, this is for the folks who don’t know and are confused as to why they can’t rant without blowback)
So if you’ve gotten on tumblr recently and noticed your anti-ship post blowing up for some reason or other and asked yourself “Jesus why are these assholes from that ship always coming for me?? They’re such dicks!!” ask yourself:
did I tag them in my post?
Because when you tag a ship in a post about how much you hate it, it’s not a beacon that says “Hear Ye Hear Ye, Interacteth Not Ye Fuckos From Ship I Hate, This Is About How Much I Hate Your Ship”. For that to be the case, you would need old-school anti-ship tag nomenclature, like this: #anti-[shipname] or #[shipname] wank. Those tags would communicate your intent to rant, which is your sacred fandom right to enjoy doing! It is not, however, your sacred fandom right to enjoy doing it in the wrong space, that’s what’s happening here. A post that tags a ship with its normal tag, but whose content is anti/wank content about said ship, sends the signal: “ayyooo, who would like to debate this with me?”
So, does all that make sense? If you tag your post analyzing all the reasons why you think a ship sucks with #ship, you are encouraging everyone who ships that ship to interact with your post. It’s like rocking up to somebody’s house, ringing the doorbell, and saying “I hate your fugly ass piece of shit house, asshole” and then getting irritated when the homeowner responds with “who the fuck are you, get off my lawn?!”
#anti-[shipname], #[shipname] hate (forgot about that one, also useful), and #[shipname] wank do two very useful things:
1) They let other people who want to gleefully rant with you know that you’re on the level and they give like minded individuals a chance to follow those tags so you can have more rant sessions together, and
2) they minimize likelihood of involvement by the shippers you’re ranting about, who can block the tag, while keeping the ship’s normal tag open for the people who enjoy it
tldr; *swordfather voice* it would be bitchin if people could stop bitchin in the wrong places so that we can all coexist like adults here, touch some grass, and chill. Tag ship hate #anti-[shipname], #[shipname] wank, or #[shipname]-hate and keep it out of the general pro-ship tags :)
if your response to this is “don’t tell me what to do, cuntwaffle” or “I have an unhealthy relationship with the idea of shipping and think no one should have a safe environment to enjoy media except me and people I agree with so I will continue to poison the waters” then ok, cool beans, keep on chooglin’; but know that everytime you walk into a tea party you weren’t invited to and yell I HATE YOUR FUCKING TEA YOUR TEA SUCKS ASS blowback is a bit inevitable
#PSA for anybody who needs to hear it#blue eye samurai#bes netflix#netflix blue eye samurai#am I probably gonna get some nasty comments for this? sure whatever but if at least one person who is#tired of fighting in their text posts and inbox sees this and realizes they can tag things in a way#that lets them avoid a fight then hey my job is done#and if most of yall are just starting shit to start shit then ok just thought I’d check in#because there’s a lot of complaining about people defending the stuff they like in this fandom#and if you’re needling people I’m not sure why you think they won’t pushback#no needling no fighting. everybody be chill. good god yall. it’s a show for adults can we be adults please.#shipwars are for children this is embarrassing why’d so many people in this fandom drink gallons of haterade
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when i say i am obsessed with him
#'indescribable insolence' <3333#dumas writing aramis in '20 years after':#i am going to create a character that is so egdy sarcastic provocative and irritating to everyone around him#and im gonna make stirring shit being an asshole and gruesome murder his favourite hobbies#and he did just as he said. bless him.#most character ever#and what makes him even better is the contrast between 20YA!aramis and t3M!aramis. its hilarious.#my man really went feral. midlife crisis some call it. i call it character development of all time. i call it serving cunt.#aramis as a musketeer a soldier a man in a profession where you're literally paid for killing people:#sweetness and mildness personified writes poetry and theology essays in his free time never gambles dreams about dedicating his life to god#aramis as a priest: whooo boy i hope i get to fUCKING KILL A PERSON TODAY >:D#anyway. i love him a normal amount or something.#the three musketeers#alexandre dumas#anyway. i reread this scene and the charenton battle today because it's definitely in my top 3 aramis moments#also the english translation on the gutenberg page omits two lines of dialogue that i remembered from my polish translation#and it goes something like#de Chatillon says 'i think you're looking for a fight sir' to which Aramis basically responds with 'oh nooo you *think*? Imao'. iconic.#(and its even funnier cause that makes athos immediately go 'aramis stfu plz' and aramis just goes 'no <3' im obsessed with them)#vingt ans apres#do i have a#twenty years after#tag?? not sure tbh i think i dont but tagging just in case ig
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our health is important! and precarious! let’s keep masking in public and not going out to spread germs when we’re sick! please!!!!!
#this post brought to you by:#had some relatives knowingly come over sick last weekend and now our entire extended family is crumbing into coughs and fever and vomiting#(i tried to fight for sick people not coming over. it was overruled. don’t you know it’s 2024 and people don’t get really sick anymore? 😩)#i haven’t gotten sick yet but there’s no way i am not gonna#and i am not looking forward to my impending long dark night of the soul; it sounds so so bad.#anyway: wish I could say this to my extended family but I’m too conflict-avoidant!#so I’m saying it to the blue abyss instead!#😷😷😷😷😷😷#MASK UP! TAKE PRECAUTIONS! NURTURE YOUR HEALTH! IT’S NEVER GUARANTEED!#dollsome's deep thoughts#and now to try to put all of next week’s work online because no way am i spreading this evil …#idk if this is covid but like. you can actually mask to help avoid all contagious illnesses! 🤯#god i really struggle with coexisting w/ my fellow humans sometimes#why does everyone else so consistently not give a crap
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I will never forgive a single one of you
#There will come a day when your grandchildren see your faces in the history books and spit on you#“We survived the last one” no we all didn't#I lost so many#so many#His policy changes almost got me killed twice alone#I mean that literally -- in the hospital trying not to die because of the shit he did#Later today I am going to have to face a room full of [redacted] and promise to do everything I can to protect them and not give up#all while pretending I'm not already sitting in my grave#Of course I'm going to fight of course I am but Christ alive fuck you people who think this is a game#and honestly fuck everyone who looked at what happened and didn't see massive voter suppression for what it was#“why didn't so-and-so shift blue” because they challenge mail-in ballots and purge the rolls late and shut down polling locations#and if they call you a “felon” you can't vote. And guess what sort of people they like to make felons?#Reminding myself through gritted teeth that if almost half of Texas voted blue - that's a higher population than some blue states have#It's a lot of people. It's so many people. So many many people tried#People out there care and are trying don't forget them don't abandon them don't condemn them in the hatred#Welp.#If you're still reading this I'm so sorry#If you're USAmerican remember: if they come knocking on your door asking for the neighbor in your attic - you don't know shit#You have never seen a shoplifter in your life. You never had nor never knew anyone who got an abortion.#You don't know any queer people. Especially not a trans person. Especially especially not a trans kid.#Social media sites are not safe for communication. It's not a game okay. Get real good at being careful#Buy an air cleaner and a water filter and get ready to keep an eye on food contamination outbreaks#Get to know your local farmers#Buy a chicken. Name it Reggie. Reggie gonna give you eggs.#Living is an act of defiance. Fighting is an act of love
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still haven't moved on from zane in this episode (aka I hit tag limit again and am unhappy about it)
#alek insanity#not gonna main tag this but prepare for a tiny rant#home is actually really good zane characterization and its super cool to me how it holds up to this day#s1 characterization is very specific to me because the behaviors displayed by the ninja there (mostly) isnt bc thats how they really are but#its due to societal pressure. cole originally being more 'stone faced tough guy' -> 'down to earth' -> 'really sensible easy to talk to guy'#is because hes always been a sensitive guy... but he felt he couldnt express that true version of himself. thats the whole thing behind his#true potential. jay going from s1 -> s6 -> now is less of societal pressure and more teenager figuring himself out but it still applies. ish#seeing how much the ninja have changed or grown from then to now is amazing because back then they all wore masks. they didnt know each#other all that well. but theyve gained that comfortability with each other and also have grown and matured as people#some seasons / eps characterization for certain people im not a fan of (lloyds random misogyny arc in s13) but i mean the overall trend here#and then there is zane. zane in home was pretty dead on to how he behaves now (at least... when it comes to his faults?) and i dont want to#say people skim over that but i am the sf proclaimed n1 s1e2 fan and overthink every scene. zane's early characterization is some of my fav#for him period. he also goes through a ton of traumatic stuff and a ton of bad writing bouts but why he acts so 'weird' or 'distant' has#always been a thread sewn in. he changed so much he stayed the same in a way... if that makes sense. -> ohhh the ninja get mail and he#doesnt? oh he has no family? he quite literally walks away from that situation. oh the ninja are yelling in his face and asking whats wrong#with him? he literally walks away from that situation. he says its to follow the falcon but seeing how he apologized to them by not only#baking a ton of pies (cough... the food fight is what led to him leaving at first) but he also found them a whole entire new house.#zane is unable to truly value what he does for others. insert him in s11 saying he 'tried' to fufill his goal of protecting others.#everything he has ever done still isnt good enough. then the ninja tried to apologize and he didnt really... let them.#that one post about characters putting on facades and that facade being how people really see them. even in fandom. thats zane to me#the guy who lies about being upset and avoids his problems ran away after being yelled at? and he said he wasnt really mad? that is a lie!!#him being a ~360 when it comes to his character development is neat to me because he never hid behind a mask in the same way the others did#cole wanting to seem tough vs being really soft? kai wanting approval so bad he starts being selfish? kai isnt selfish usually!#he is self centered but that is a whole different thing. just wanting to fit in and breaking free of that. zane's true potential came in the#form of 'i finally know why i am not normal' instead of 'i will be my true self'. zane never pretended to not be weird#(instert book) states he literally didnt know why people got mad at him. he just existed and it was 'wrong'. the mask he hid behind was#avoidance. he was pretty open about how he actually was (most of the time). when he was upset he would audibly sigh and walk away lol#but for him saying he wasnt upset / saddened by the ninja... it felt like a moment of selflessness. if that makes sense. he blamed himself#for the monestary burning down. so he didnt deserve the apologies (ish) in the virtues of spinjitzu zane is shown as the generous one iirc#he puts the needs of others over his own. he will bear whatever burden he needs if others are happy. at that same time he doesnt allow
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I have only seen their C/B supports and honestly I love them a lot. Alfred really out here just committing acts of treacherous friendliness with other royals from other kingdoms. It's wonderful to see.
#fe engage#alfred#ivy#just in case im gonna tag as#fe engage spoilers#just because idk how far people have played nor what supports they have seen#at first im like dang bro alfred out here at weird times interacting with ivy but then he says#we really gotta stop meeting at these times princess ivy in their b and im like yeah p much#then goes on to be pleasant but teasing but helpful all in one conversation with her and i just really love him ???#also i am very fond of ivy i love her a lot#also what time does alfred go to bed i need to know because hes always already slept#when he meets up with ivy and dia ....... when they havent slept#alfred my son what are your hours of passing out and waking up#im only on ch16 so uhhhhh i made like one ch of progress lately lmao#then ive been doing some dlc battles and other paralogue fights
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twitter was having a shit fit earlier when the SGF happened and the s2 cast was revealed and like
i understand part of the rage at two crossovers and bison already being back, people wanted the big faves to come back like the sf3 cast in general, cody, menat, etc
but think of the LORE, gang, the POTENTIAL
and also when it comes to growing rosters and what characters get in, you gotta get used to the odd choices and potential disappointment, this is why the smash dlcs still worked even with characters like piranha plant and min-min, so i was kinda surprised by all the anger on twitter, and it was genuinely hurting my own hype because yeah i didn't think bison should've been added this early either, but since he is here now anyways, it's time to deep analyze on what they could do with this, because they could prove JP to be the bigger bad if they play their cards right
anyways guess im lurking on tumblr for a bit, yall are stuck with me now KFHSLFND
#sf6#street fighter 6#not even joking when i say twitter's reaction exhausted me#like look i get the disappointment but like#some people were saying they were gonna walk away from the game if their fave didnt get in like#guys its season 2; we have time#its disappointing to not have them now yeah i get it since i wanted falke#but like it feels like theyre having a visceral reaction and i cant help but be concerned bc of it#like guys sfv had like 6 seasons give em time#i rather have 4 dlcs this season than 6 dlc btw if it means less crunch for the devs#basically i have lots of feelings about peoples reactions and it feels like whiplash bc this community's been pretty calm otherwise#sometimes later is good! sora was last for smash dlc and it worked way better than if he was introduced earlier#many thoughts head full; i think the fighting game connecting universes is cool enough to warrant it#also i saw someone being directly rude to takayama like bro why#its not that big a deal just dont buy the dlc if youre not gonna use the character-#you literally get them in WT for free and i know that bc i only own ed and yet here i am with akumas style on talon
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Besties it may be so fucking over. I think I might literally unironically have covid.
Which is. So unbelievably Stupid. For the entire duration of its existence I managed to avoid it. I was gonna get my updated vaccine at the end of the month. I go to a concert (one of many for the fucking record) and I am masking for the majority of it. I get fucked up by a crowd surfer I almost lose a piercing (bloody but healed okay, was only a bit crusty the day after). Maybe it wasn't the wisest decision to put it right back in but like bitch???????????? What else was I gonna do?????? I mean. Maybe if I were smarter I would have just waited til I got home to fully sanitize it. It did happen during the last set. But like are you kidding me do you think I'm thinking anything other than "Oh shit I almost lost a piercing and it would be a pain in the ass to replace it and I don't wanna risk my hole closing up". In all fairness I think I'm allowed to be a bit stupid there.
Anyways my symptoms haven't been cold like or flu like and they feel exactly like what I experienced when I got the vaccine way back when. Headaches, muscle aches, loss of taste, difficulty breathing even just with. A sports bra. I kinda stopped binding a while ago bc of the strain. It may be so fucking over for me. Literally get top surgery or just fucking die. Have to figure out what's up here first though, gonna call my doctor about it. 🧍
#the phone call i've been really struggling w was for top surgery. mentally i'm just. fighting for my life about it#not the surgery but like. the Process. it's always some god damn process. if i could go under the knife tomorrow#i fucking would in a heartbeat.#broadly speaking like i am fighting for my life to get this happening bc i'm gonna age out of my dad's insurance#i also have no idea what that holds. like. do i just die. am i just left for dead. no more meds no more therapy nothing.#to be fair my therapist has said that won't be the case. and she'll help me make the changes necessary#but like i can't help but ALWAYS feel like i'm on borrowed time. the future isn't real and isn't for me.#milo doomerism moment. sorry.#to be fair i cannot live the rest of my life like this. the body positivity movement has been great esp for trans people#but like. i cannot body positivity myself out of dysphoria. i'm just not built like that.#i'm almost jealous of people who can. and i have to remind myself that's so epic and cool actually i love that for them#but like. my own experience w my own body. bitch i barely fucking live here. i hate it here.
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Discussing the NCR (Fallouts NV's Military Industrial Complex)
Fallout regularly discusses the idea of the military, its faults, its strengths, and most importantly, the psycho-social aspects of it regarding those who are members. We have seen a direct critique of the military generalized through the Enclave's overt nationalism, the hoarding of resources and indoctrination through the Brotherhood of Steel, and an almost eerily modern critique of the whole military-industrial complex through the NCR in New Vegas. In these series of posts, I will be focusing primarily if not exclusively on the last one.
The NCR we see in the game is strictly the military side of things and the depiction of active occupation during a time of eminent war, conflicting factions, and resource scarcity. It is in this we are missing a major factor that negatively affects the view of the NCR in the game and out: Civilian life along with citizen opinion on the military. While we do get Mojave civilian opinion on the military (often neutral or negative) we do not get those who are New California Republic citizens, not those who actually discuss the military more so not understanding the importance of the occupation and the President's choices.
We do not see how life is regularly lived by the average citizen as we have not seen New California in New Vegas, though, we get words and glimpses that the people are relatively content in the growing country minus the fact many people are not happy with the choice of encroaching on the Mojave. This most similarly reflects it's real-world application that many civilian citizens reject acquisition and war due to the economic effects it has on the country and the general violence/loss associated.
In this, we come to an issue of losing a perspective that is unique to the NCR as a military representative. The Brotherhood is notably a place where its active members are intertwined with its efforts, the young are raised to be scribes, paladins, etc... To where even if one is not fighting for The Brotherhood, they are still intertwined, it's propaganda is the life. The Enclave is even more cut n' dry in that it is mostly made up of government representatives. It is a group even smaller than the former, even more selective and intertwined that their propaganda IS a form of Eugenics. The NCR is unique in that there is a clear distinction between what is the military force, the civilian population, and the choice if one wants to be a part of the former.
There is a distinct difference in the cultures of the factions you are born into and those you must enlist or join (forcibly for some). While this is a long-winded way to get into the actual discussion I want to facilitate throughout these posts I wanted an initial background post to understand the aspects I am and am not exploring and explaining along with a hub post to link everything I intend to discuss in the coming days and weeks, starting with:
Why Do People Join the NCR?
...which will be discussed and linked back here like everything else regarding to this topic.
Links: TBA
#fallout#fallout new vegas#new california republic#these will be longer posts so be warned#prepare to be sick of me#you thought i could yap before#should pin this but Im just gonna link it in the pinned post to be concise and since this isnt just a fallout blog I just am just obsessed#plus I dont want it to be centered focus while im only half way through with the first word doc#the three posts are just the beginning on my disection of the NCR and how the MIC is shown through it cuase#like pls its so much more nuanced with the specific ways each character in the faction interacts#at least the ones you can talk to and have options for like i know so many people do independent route but its so intriguing and you get ho#the military takes advantage of people but also how the individuals try or believe they fight for a good cause cause of all the brain washi#like some perpetuate and others dont but its a system that just gets worse the higher you go like grrrrr#a take cant be nuanced if you refuse to look or discuss the reasonings of another side or generalize their arguement through a personal len#like you need to be objective at points cause while you may feel a way in an analysis the context explains why in canon they feel a way#a retrospective on tumblr??? shocker#was gonna make this one giant mega post but it wouldve been cluttered and i wanna space them out cause its a lot to work on in one sitting#and what if I want to be silly in between???
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not to be a milennial but harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban really is that bitch....
#mom wanted to rewatch the movies so we've been going thru them <3#talk about a movie thats just like. grief. i turn into the jamie lee curtis halloween trauma supercut#SORRY..... the visuals are peak like that IS the hp vibe to ME and i am BLOWN AWAY this movie was made in 2004 it feels ahead of its time#the first two are so whimsical and magical enrapturing and this movie is like. a well worn cardigan. this feels 2011 cozycore to me#sorry but the introduction of lupin becoming a comforting trusted guardian type of figure AND the dementors representing hollow depression#this 13 yr old whos been kept in the dark on so many things being extra vulnerable prey to them bc of the severe trauma#but getting lessons on how to withstand that creeping dread.. through happy memories... still bonding w lupin increasngly ouagh...#the grief between them both over james and lily. also btw ofc defense against the dark arts being fighting yr fears through laughter. aaaaaa#and then sirius. black. im. i know we meme on the twelve years of it! in azkaban! but as a bitch whos now closer to those characters in age#and can appreciate and understand them obv more than i could when i was. a tween. that just hits like ok shit. VALID#so valid and real to see the child of your friends you knew at that age but who DIED and then see the friend who betrayed them#to see like the best of BOTH of them mirrored and living on in him and be like yknow what???? you WILL be protected frm that same fate#hoooo the briefest moment where harry might hope things will turn out okay. w sirius' name being cleared and peter having to explain himself#and sirius being like hey i get it if you want to stay w your family that is fine but. if you wanna move in w me...#(harry relaying this to hermione later as well. dreaming of a place fr just the two of them somewhere in the countryside#somewhere..... sirius might see the sky..... bc he thinks he would like that after all those years locked up do not even touch me rn.......)#only fr everything to turn to shit two friends fighting w deadly force. the chance to set this right slipping off into the night.#a million dementors descending relentlessly until utter exhaustion and certain death. some strange salvation? fight for a second chance?#but then still havign to say goodbye when they only just GOT this. and everything still being so. god. and lupin having to leave as well.#the thought of sirius also WANTING that guardian type connection but being forced to live in 1. a cave barely living more freely than before#2. then being confined to the stuffy somber abusive home he ran away from as a teen w that portrait still up there and everything.. bitch...#oh man the way i KNOW when we get to ootp (my favourite) its gonna leave me blasted into a million little pieces#the way i know shit like the knowing wink the entirety of the wall tapestry room scene and of course nice one james is gonna DESTROY me..#dont even talk to me abt that dark turn at the end of gof and how everything after gets soooo. god. w everything just getting destroyed and.#i cant even think abt it i cant even talk about it. wah#i dont care btw that they aged those guys up undermining how insanely young these people died. perfect casting fr the remaining marauders ok
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TRISONA 🍊💥🤞
#I DONT KNOW. HOW THEY WOULD HAVE A B17 BOMBER ON AN ALIEN PLANET DONT FUCKING LOOK AT ME.#USE UR IMAGINATION.#I also am actually a good shot w a crossbow lol#& formerly in a religious cult so LMFAO#once again creating self inserts for the sole purpose of annoying the main characters 💖#trigun#trisona#character design#trigun sona#self insert#trigun 98#trimax#trigun maximum#genuinely i think id have a different design for tristamp but whatever#tristamp#trigun stampede#I was gonna have an F6F Grumman Hellcat BUT those r little oneman fighters sooo :P#thats I think what he flew arounf & killed people with in the EoM#also probably at some point got into a fist fight with ww bcos I think thats funny#LISTEN MAN if theres a reasonable excuse for me to be some genetically modified supersoldier. Im gonna take it#AND WITH RELIGIOUS TRAUMA & UNDERTONES??? Holy SHIT#anyway. giggles cutely.#prob gave vash & ww (& m&m) a ride at some point & I could prob think of a whole thing there#Also i made myself former EoM and then in the winter wolfwood thing was like. Lalala hes hunting down former EoM.#So. Fuck me i guess LMFAO
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I need to be put in a waffle iron or something
#i am. really stressed!!#i hate being online i keep losing friends#Majority of them did shitty stuff to me and it makes me so sad#I already have trust problems so when people come and say theyll always be here for me and then the next thing i know im blocked because i#Expressed my discomfort about something shitty they did it makes those trust issues even worse#We were pretty close and now i regret telling him shit because he could use it against me#And im starting to fall out with my “best friend” irl. Everything is making me sick#I can’t do this anymore I really want to disappear#There has to be something about me so repulsive to people#That i just turn them away#its gonna be like that for the rest of my life isnt it? I probably wont even get a partner in the future#I just don’t know why I fuck up every friendship so bad even if it wasnt. My fault#I shouldve kept my mouth shut even if i was uncomfortable#my last friendships ended like this too#I caused a huge server fight by saying I was uncomfy and I’m pretty sure everyone hates me now because of it#even though some said they werent#I am just really lonely and feel like a piece of shit#Because I am one#I don’t really know if I want to keep being here anymore#I genuinely think nobody likes me#Even when I was in school nobody liked me#I was the “weird girl”#I just wish I was normal and likeable and then maybe I’d have friends irl#I don’t know what’s wrong with me and I’ve considered suicide over it multiple times#I ruin everything#My friendships. My life. My parents marriage. My art. Everything.#I doubt anyone will read this or gaf so just. ignore me
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