#am I entirely happy with it? nope
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Third chapter of Schism is out!
#bg3#durgetash#the dark urge#baldur's gate 3#enver gortash#fic#fanfiction#default dark urge#default durge#dragonborn dark urge#am I entirely happy with it? nope#but i hope you guys like it!#needed to get this published to keep writing
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Bridgerton: *shows a neurodivergent couple communicating in a way others don’t understand, but viewers see that communication is valid and important *
My neurodivergent ass: Oh damn
Bridgerton: *has Francesca comfortable with herself and fall in love without having to mask her neurodivergency*
My neurodivergent ass: Oh DAMN
Bridgerton: *REVEALS FRANCESCA’S SEASON WILL BE ABOUT A WLW ROMANCE*
My WLW neurodivergent ass: OH DAMN
#bridgerton#bridgerton spoilers#francesca bridgerton#john sterling#michaela sterling#I LOVE JOHN AND MICHAELA SO MUCH#I AM SO HAPPY WE GOT THIS ENTIRE SEASON WITH JOHN#I WAS HONESTLY SCARED THEY’D CHANGE HIS BEHAVIOR FROM THE BOOK AND NOT MAKE HIM THE SWEETEST GUY WHO EVER LIVED#BUT NOPE! HE’S THE BEST
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if i'm being entirely honest i find the term "spiritual psychosis" annoying at best. it makes me feel as though i, as someone with schizoaffective disorder, need to work extra hard to "prove" my spiritual beliefs are valid.
here's the thing. my spirituality has always been and will always be flavored and colored by being schizoaffective. even when i was an atheist i could not untangle the two. there's never going to be a way for me to know where the line is drawn between my spiritualism and my psychosis. for example i will probably never shake the idea that i died and was resurrected, and that event holds SIGNIFICANT spiritual meaning for me, even on antipsychotics, even when i can recognize that yes, it's probably the remains of a delusion.
so please tell me, why is it anyone else's business if i incorporate that into my religious practices? it harms no one and gives me one more reason to rejoice. if it started causing actual problems, putting me in danger, causing me distress, bringing along disorganized thinking or anything of the sort, that's when it would be time for me to get help. but really and truly i would not want random people im not close with to tell me to get that help, especially if their only clues into my mental state come from my spiritual practices. i am not a dog to be taken to the vet. sometimes people are psychotic and we exist in your communities and we have religious beliefs and you have GOT to suck it up and allow space for us, however our conditions affect us and our practices.
it's also just. buries my face in my hands. you can just say psychosis, you don't need a special term for it. again it just makes me feel like i'm being singled out and not being taken seriously because there's a long LONG history of psychotic/schizospec people having our mental illnesses used as reason to disregard us. please just mind your business.
#cadaver speaks#mostly prompted by me looking into godspousing after a very interesting experience#and seeing someone basically say most godspouses are experiencing spiritual psychosis#which read more to me as a complaint about how other people practice than actual concern for people's mental health#do i know whether i was visited by dionysus or just have silly silly brain chemicals? NOPE#and it's entirely fucking futile to try to figure it out because you can't prove any gods exist and i'm an unreliable narrator!#so i have to ask myself: what will make me happy?#should i deny myself the joy of worship just because i drew the short straw and got saddled with schizoaffective?#or should i say fuck it and do what will make me happy?#i want to live! i beg to live!! i am wrenching the fullness of my feeble human life from nonpsychotics' hands!!!#obligatory disclaimer that if you're psychotic/schizospec and you find the term spiritual psychosis useful that's fine#anyway. society will not be free until the lunatics are free from our chains and shackles. or something#mad pride#schizophrenia#schizoaffective#actually schizophrenic#actually schizoaffective#actually schizospec#spirituality#paganism#witchcraft#mental health#if anyone willfully misinterprets what i'm saying you owe me one thousand usd#if it doesn't make sense reread the post or move on. good Bye
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yesterday I borrowed a book from a library for the very first time and I have this soft feeling that I made smol!sylvana so intensely happy with that
#when dreams come true#and yes I myself am happy too#had my nose stuck in the book the entire walk back home#it’s The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova#slow paced and the vibes are good so far#am I interested in the story or attached to the characters? nope#but autumn energy is strong with this one#I’m so looking forward to doing this more often#my post
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oh
that's
oh
i'm
i am legitimately tearing up oh wow
#yeah okay i'm pretty much full-on crying at this#i guess i just assume my writing is the kind of thing you read once and maybe go “that was all right/amusing/evil/stupid”#and proceed to forget about entirely#nothing fucks me up more than people saying they've reread something of mine#IN A GOOD WAY#but yeah it's weird and wild#god i miss writing fanfic#i haven't written much of anything since covid first hit the US#and there's been no fandoms i've been like. IN enough to write for.#and lmao i have literally never not once in my life felt like i could write a good crowley or aziraphale so nope not ruining them. probably#but man i wish i could maybe write some beauyasha or widomauk#and i would love to finish a wangxian or snowbaz fic HOW HAVE I NEVER FINISHED A WANGXIAN OR SNOWBAZ FIC#no taibanis?? no catradoras???? i am a failure#but getting a comment like this. mm. makes the not-writing anxiety ease off a bit.#it's always there and Judging me for not really writing anymore#and yeah i would love to write again. anything.#but at least i wrote something once upon a time and it made some people happy#that's still pretty fucking cool#hope i can share something new someday that might make other people happy too#michele.txt#idk where all this rambling in the tags came from i'm emotional and i miss writing!!!!!!!!!!
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i need. more anxiety & stress in my life
#too much free time!!!! and the senioritis is doing its thing!!!!! this is an issue!!!!!!#when i don’t have time to get anything done. i get it all done. because i squeeze it in & feel a sense of urgency#i have sooooo much time to get everything done so logically that means i don’t get any of it done#idk how it happens. i am going on a trip tomorrow directly after school have i started packing yet? nope! will i have any time to? nope!#did i have the entire afternoon free today? sure did!#to be fair i did get a pretty good amount of homework done today. but not NEARLY enough#i’ve got sooooo many scholarships to apply to. haven’t even looked at them#TWO essays to write by tuesday. have not started. whoops!#i need to get crazy busy again that would fix this. i need to be so stressed out i can’t think pleeeease#who needs to be happy! i can be happy in the summer! rn i need to be PRODUCTIVE!
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I think it's good that they didn't turn the show into a cash cow. A show that is being dragged on and on, getting progressively worse just to make a profit - I'm looking at you MCU - but to just give a complete fuck about what the show has built over the 3 seasons...
Characters you've grown to love over time... and this is how you deal with it ?
David about the finale:
"I don't think a lot of people are going to be happy with it."
#I am not happy with this#“We absolutely need an ending for the series. So we take every character development#the entire story line and throw it in the trash“#i loved the first episodes but the last one ? nope no nada never#Except for the bullshit with Lila and Five#david we are with you#fuck you steve blackman#the umbrella academy#tua s4#the umbrella academy season 4
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ive been lot deep in the sauce of my oc and my friend and gm reminded me that i had a short character summary of naielle's family members on her little profile, so i went to go check it and while most of them are still baaaasically true, the way i described her sister is. Fascinating in comparison to how she's ultimately been characterised.
or, rather, its not the character thats wrong. the assumed personality from the excerpt is about right. its the little details. 'had little interest in the education offered by the university', 'contrary to expectation, excelled in her [feywalker] training', 'hardly noticed naielle's departure'. none of those are true. or, well. its complicated. NAIELLE thought all those things are true. NAIELLE thought Mariela was uninterested in academia, that her success in feywalking was a triumph considering her easily-distracted nature, that she was so dedicated in her duty that she wouldn't have noticed that Naielle had left but as a footnote.
she's wrong! Naielle was simply incorrect! Mariela was interested in academia, but didn't excel early, and not in the fields of her parent's interests (history and mathematics, respectively). Meanwhile Naielle quickly found a passion for history and did well in it. Mariela was compared to her older sister, found wanting, and instead of pursuing whatever she was actually interested in, she had to split off to do something else.
she became a feywalker because its something Naielle could never do - which is unfortunate, considering what Naielle currently is (a celestial warlock, the crews resident planar expert, the major teleportation and navigation bitch - things that have significant overlap with feywalking but for some particularities). Naielle doesn't know if their parents had low expectations for Mariela in that field, so that bits still in the air.
But Mariela definitely fucking noticed Naielle's departure. She fucking noticed. Naielle can't really know how, in an emotional way, but she did. She noticed Naielle's departure, and it didn't make the comparisons any easier. She stole Naielle's research notes to make something of so she could excel over her, for fucks sake. she noticed her departure keenly.
I intend to keep the description because i think its a genuinely fun point of comparison because all those little descriptions are mostly in line with what Naielle thinks is happening, and some things she knows. She knows, for example, that Yivien (her younger brother) is delighting in her departure, because letters between people have mentioned his good mood and praised his architectural designs. And she even knows on some level that this wasn't happening before, because the person recieving the letter mentions not having seen any of his designs prior to that point. Naielle had seen them, of course she had. but her mother had never praised them in letters like that. that's new. Naielle knows this.
idk. its neat! the description of her fiancee (now wife) describes her only as a merchant of middling success, and notes that "Though she was well within her rights to do so, she did not annul her engagement after Naielle was exiled.", which is certainly what naielle would think.
now the descriptions arent entirely naielle's thoughts, because Xistina's does say "she sought a Letter of Marque without Naielle's knowledge", and this was written before naielle had actually learnt this information. It's a bit loosey goosey. It's like, close 3rd person omniscient, where sometimes the narrator goes 'she doesn't know this, BUT'. idk!! i enjoy it as a little relic.
oh god theres also descriptions of (some) party members here and this is some very funny stuff for me.
Vandervest - "Naielle does not contradict his orders," HAHA. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. HOOOOOOO BOY. BUDDY. OOOOOOOH MAN. HONEY YOU'VE GOT A BIG STORM COMIN. You can tell this is old because it refers to him as Captain rather than Commodore, and that its from before the Gunpowder Heist, because Naielle did... well okay she did not strictly contradict a given order, because she was not explicitly ordered to do anything, but i think the spirit of the order that was levied was definitely violated. this statement is a categoric falsehood. but she was just a lil guy back then, so,
Marius - "For various reasons, Naielle feels very indebted to him." haha! there are more now, bitch! when I wrote this i think it was only the first instance, in the Astral Sea, because that's from before the fight that got Vandervest promoted. the SECOND instance is from after that. and then the third is after that again, because Marius at this point has done enough Things for Naielle (both as a duty to his fellow crewmember and as a friend) that he could probably levy some fucking heavy loyalty off her. the fact he is now in charge makes this useful i think cause naielle is far less likely to directly disobey him. but again, she didn't directly disobey Vandervest either, so... sorry Marius!!
The Rthnathea - "A psionic warforged with foggy memories and a traumatic past" oh buddy you dont know the half of it. naielle actually doesn't and frankly neither do i but at the time i wrote this i knew like. 0. i now know Much More. its rough in there. it has siblings though so thats cool.
gah. old content, yknow. this shits from MARCH 2021????? ough. ooooough. a year in.... wait when i first wrote this we hadnt even ENTERED NINGBO????? No,,, oh my god i wrote the original article during the intermission between module 1 and 2. then i came back during module 2 and added in some stuff, mostly to add a few characters in the character list (rthnathea, saphielle, the specific detail about marius, sidika,). guh. i think the old version of the article before i rewrote it was LAST edited around... december 2021? maybe jan 2022? barely at the end of module 2. and i could have updated vandervest's title at the time, but didn't even think to do so. gagh
i never actually finished the rewritten campaign summary but its so fucking hard to summarise this shit and i got lost part way through it. also i have homework i need to start doing lest i fall the Fuck behind. augh.
#story blogging#naielle odelia#nothing interesting is going on in here. at some point i am aghast at the passage of time. yknow how it is#the first bits neat enough but mostly for me because its so FUN thinking about how Naielle was flat out wrong#not maliciously or anything. she just couldnt possibly have the full picture. she had no reason to think she was wrong#she thought mariela only hated her because of what she did HERE and NOW. with the kidnapping and what not#and she was wrong! Mariela has had it out for her for years!#when naielle captured her she said 'i hoped you had died' and naielle was just very sad#and said 'i hoped so too for a time' and walked off#and in the moment i think naielle thought mariela was just acting out. that she was so pissed about the kidnapping#that she was saying something fucking awful that maybe she didn't entirely mean. nope! mariela meant every word!#and naielle did too to be fair. naielle responded sincerely to the barb. she just hoped it wasnt sincere in kind#and it was! mariela had that in her long before naielle came back#she'd spent those two decades hoping naielle was dead so that she'd never be compared against her again#or at least some of that time. itd be much easier right? never worry about the matter again#with your smart sister removed you can just Be You. and are you happy? the answer is Not really#and then it all comes back to the last session and the two of them just laughing at how fucking absurd this all is#and her so sincerely going 'i dont want you to go' THATS FUCKING *GROWTH* BABY. LOVE THAT FOR HER#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA FUCK#ayway i gotta go to bed but i just lost my mind a second time. whoo!
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every now and then I am reminded that jesus christ my attachment style is extremely disordered. I'm like if anxious attachment was being hidden by avoidant attachment. It's not even like... normal avoidant attachment? despite that being what I largely identify with. Because I talk to other people with avoidant attachment styles and I'm like ??? bruh what the fuck are you talking about 'I don't need other people' everyone needs other people.
#every weekend I talk to the same person#we do the same thing#my brain is convinced that they're mad at me#except like this is not an anxious thought#it's like my brain has the hint of the anxious thought and immediately takes on the avoidant one instead#'If someone is mad at me- then I should respect their desire for space.'#my entire friendship style can be summed up as 'I'm happy to be here when you want me- but the moment you don't-#that's okay. it'll cause me no distress for us to no longer be friends.'#if you're ever like 'man me and Kris used to talk a lot and now we don't' there is a 95% chance my brain has simply decided#that you don't want me in your life anymore and I should respect that#I see myself as this weird like.. transitional object or a source of information.#and on one hand- I do think this is ... healthier? less distressing? than anxious attachment#it would be nice if my brain didn't just fucking decide this randomly.#there is no reason for this person to be mad at me. I maybe? did something mildly annoying at most.#but nope. clearly it is not that they have been busy. it is not that they have a lot of their plate. it is not any of these things.#clearly I am just a transitional object that has been discarded again and that's okay because that's what I'm there for
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Hey uh convenient teleporting thing? Could really do with you being super convenient and sending me home right now. Please?
#Dash Watching#ic#Robin The Wonder#v: Multiverse Shenanigans#((i might actually need a crack tag gdi))#((i told myself when i was debating making this blog))#((im gonna keep the tags minimal and simple))#((but nope things keep happening and the taglist keeps growing!))#((come back to the rp community after like 4 years and forgot how quickly tags can add up))#((but srsly tho i am cackling over this entire situation))#((and also super happy that out of nowhere i got to reconnect with someone i havent spoken with in about...))#((...jesus christ close to a decade i think? i hung around in the rotg fandom for a year or two before getting pulled into other fandoms))
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I'm back with another request!!!
This one is remus×femreader bc we love remi in this house
Basically, remi and reader are arguing about something stupid (something to do with books) and there's a lot of flirting going on whilst arguing. Remus starts becoming a little amused while arguing and tries to hide his smile (we all know he has eyes that glitter when he's happy). Reader gets annoyed and starts going off on him and Remus kisses her to shut her up. The thing is, the reader has never been kissed before. And she REALLY likes him. So she's shocked to say the least. She stares at him in disbelieve and Remi's like "what" and she goes "you kissed me" "ik" Remus says plainly. "I've never been kissed before" reader whispers while looking down, ashamed. Remus feels bad so he takes her by her shoulders, tilts her chin up, and kisses her again. Properly.
Thanks, love! Here are some flowers for you 💐
soooo cute - hope I did your idea justice!!
Remus Lupin x fem!reader who has never been kissed
CW: fluff, narrative around consent
“I cannot believe you just said that.” You deadpanned, staring at Remus with a fiery glint in your eye as he watched you very clearly try to fight off a smile.
“Why would I not say it?” Remus asked incredulously as you repositioned yourself on the sofa to angle your body towards him for better arguing.
“Because it’s so incredibly wrong.”
“Well now that’s ignorant.”
You scoffed disbelievingly at him. “You did not just call me ignorant.”
“Nope, wrong again.��� He laughed. “I said your statement was ignorant.”
“In what sodding world did Amy and Laurie make any sense?” You asked then, slapping your hand against your knee to punctuate your question.
“Uhm, this one? Obviously, that’s why it’s canon.”
You pursed your lips as if you were restraining yourself from bodily launching yourself at Remus; he really wished you wouldn’t.
“Author’s don’t get it right all of the time.” You said instead of telling Remus to go fuck himself.
“I don’t think that’s true; this book has become a classic for a reason. Louisa May Alcott didn’t write these things by accident, there was intention and purpose behind these characters and their choices.”
“Yes, and the purpose was to drive readers mad!” You nearly screeched.
“Or perhaps it was to illustrate to young women that they don’t need to settle for their childhood friend.” He countered.
“It wasn’t settling! She loved him back!”
Remus couldn’t help but smile then; between your passion, how cute you looked when you were wound up, and the fact that you were screaming about love made his own heart beat in double time.
“You’re sodding laughing at me.” You narrated with a disbelieving head shake, clearly misinterpreting Remus’ lovesick expression for humour. “Remus Lupin! Stop laughing at me!” You shouted playfully, landing a few good whacks on his arm with the book as he pretended to shield himself from you.
“Okay, so not only do you have horrid takes on classic literature, but you also use classic literature to assault people? What has the world come to?” Remus teased as you continued your attack.
“You. Are. Infuriating!” You spat, punctuating each word with a whack as you moved to stand on your knees for better access to Remus.
Better access indeed he decided as he quickly grabbed your wrists, rendering your weapon utterly useless as it hung limp in your hand.
“I’m infuriating, am I?” He asked you quietly.
“Exhausting.” You agreed, matching his volume.
“Exhausting?”
“Troublesome.”
“Is that so?”
“And completely unromantic! I mean, how could-”
But he never got to hear what your next argument was about how perfect Laurie and Jo would have been together before he quickly slotted his lips against yours.
For how energetic the conversation had been, the kiss was decidedly not; it was soft, gentle, tentative, and Remus only hoped you couldn’t read him like a book for how utterly in love he was with you.
And entirely too soon was Remus pulling away from your face, still holding your wrists as he looked between your eyes.
“You…kissed me.” You whispered; the statement sounding nearly like a question as you looked at Remus with a mixture of shock and bemusement.
Remus felt his stomach drop; was he not supposed to? He should have asked first; fucking arse. Had he read this all wrong; were you not into him like that? Had he been projecting his own feelings onto you, merely expecting you to reciprocate feelings he’d never properly expressed?
“Yes…I- was that not okay?”
“I…I’ve never been kissed before…” You admitted quietly, arms falling limp in Remus’ hands as he loosened his grip.
“Oh dove, I’m sorry. I- did…you want to be kissed?” He asked, leaving out the ‘by me?’
You looked surprised at his question; the corner of your mouth turning upwards as you examined Remus' face. He hoped to Godric his cheeks weren’t as red as they felt.
“Very much so.” You whispered.
Feeling hopefully brave by the way your fingers were fiddling with the cuff of his sleeve and the way your eyes were fixed on his lips, he moved his hands to your waist and encouraged you to straddle his lap. You positioned yourself immediately, as if being in his lap was the most natural thing in the world, watching as his hands trailed up to your shoulders and down your arms, guiding your hands to rest on his shoulders.
“Yeah?” He asked under his breath.
“Please.” You whispered back.
“Oh pretty girl,” he cooed; pushing a lock of hair behind your ear before hooking a finger under your chin to pull your lips towards his. “It’d be my absolute pleasure.”
#marauders era#marauders au#marauders fanfiction#reader insert#self insert#remus lupin#remus lupin x reader#remus lupin x you#remus lupin fanfiction#remus lupin fic#remus lupin blurb#remus lupin fluff#remus lupin ficlet#remus lupin imagine#fem!reader#first kiss#first kiss trope#ellecdc fics
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I got some thoughts spinning from seeing how Drew looks as Eugene in Queer with glasses and all. So Soft Nerdy Rafe request? Very golden retriever-y, a bit shy and sweet. Maybe they are making out for the first time and….sweet nerdy rafe….switches up….not so shy. Ahhh it’s such a weakness when shy boys just become so forward, manly and give into their desires 💘🥹
a/n: AHHHHH! im so happy that you requested a nerd!rafe!!!!! i hope you like it ⭐️
the library was quiet, the faint hum of fluorescent lights blending into the soft rustle of pages and distant murmurs. rafe cameron sat across from you, his glasses sliding down his nose as he frowned at the notebook in front of him. he was chewing on the edge of his thumb, a nervous habit you’d grown fond of, though it made you wonder if he realized how obvious he was being.
“you’re gonna wear your skin raw if you keep doing that,” you teased, nudging his foot under the table.
he looked up, startled, like you’d caught him mid-crime. “oh. right. sorry.” he dropped his hand, fiddling with his pen instead. “i’m just—this doesn’t make sense. none of it makes sense. why is calculus even a thing?”
you smiled, leaning forward to peek at his notes. his handwriting was neat, but his equations were a jumbled mess, arrows pointing in all directions. “you’re overthinking it,” you said, your voice soft. “here, look. you just forgot to carry the one.”
rafe groaned, his head falling onto the table with a dramatic thud. “i’m hopeless.”
“you’re not hopeless.”
“i am. you should just give up on me now.” his words were muffled by the wood, but you could still hear the pout in his voice.
“rafe.”
he peeked up at you, his cheek smushed against the table. “what?”
“you’re adorable when you’re dramatic, but you’re not hopeless.”
his face flushed a deep red, and he sat up quickly, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “i’m not adorable,” he muttered, his voice barely above a whisper.
“you are,” you said, leaning back in your chair. “but if you really want to prove me wrong, maybe stop staring at my lips and focus on your math.”
his eyes went wide, his ears turning pink. “i wasn’t—I wasn’t staring at your lips!”
“you were,” you said, smirking. “it’s okay, though. i don’t mind.”
he opened his mouth to argue, then closed it again, his throat bobbing as he swallowed hard. “you don’t?”
“nope.”
the air between you shifted, the tension palpable now. rafe’s gaze flicked to your lips again, this time more deliberate, and his hands fidgeted with the hem of his sweater.
“you know,” you said, breaking the silence, “you could just kiss me instead of acting like you’re solving a physics problem.”
his jaw dropped, and for a second, you thought he might actually combust. “i—i could?”
you laughed softly, reaching across the table to take his hand. “come here, rafe.”
he stood slowly, his movements awkward and unsure, like he wasn’t entirely convinced this was real. when he rounded the table and slid onto the bench beside you, his knee bumped yours, and he froze, looking at you with wide, anxious eyes.
“is this… okay?” he asked, his voice barely audible.
“more than okay,” you said, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze.
he hesitated for a moment longer, then leaned in, his lips brushing yours in the softest, most tentative kiss you’d ever experienced. his hands hovered near your waist, not quite touching, like he wasn’t sure where they belonged.
you deepened the kiss, your hand moving to his cheek, and he made a small, needy sound that sent a shiver down your spine. slowly, his hands settled on your hips, his grip uncertain at first but growing firmer as the kiss went on.
his lips were warm and slightly chapped, moving against yours in a rhythm that was both clumsy and endearing. but as the moments stretched, something shifted.
rafe pulled back just enough to catch his breath, his chest rising and falling as he looked at you with an expression that was equal parts awe and hunger. “is this… is this okay?” he asked again, his voice trembling.
“yes, rafe,” you whispered, your fingers threading through his hair.
that seemed to be all the reassurance he needed. when he kissed you again, it wasn’t tentative or shy—it was bold, almost desperate. his hands slid up your sides, his thumbs brushing the edges of your ribs, and his body pressed closer to yours, eliminating the small space that had existed between you.
you gasped against his lips, and he swallowed the sound, his confidence growing with each passing second. his glasses slipped down his nose again, but he didn’t seem to care, too focused on the way your lips moved against his.
“you’re so… perfect,” he murmured between kisses, his voice low and husky now, a far cry from the nervous stammering he’d started with.
your heart pounded in your chest, and you couldn’t help but smile against his lips. “you’re not so shy anymore.”
he pulled back just enough to look at you, his glasses crooked and his lips kiss-swollen. “guess you bring it out of me,” he said, a crooked grin spreading across his face.
“oh, so now you’re cocky?”
“maybe a little.” his grin widened, and he leaned in again, his lips finding yours with renewed fervor.
the kiss grew hungrier, his hands exploring more boldly now. one slid up to cup your face, his thumb brushing your cheek, while the other found the small of your back, pulling you flush against him.
you let out a soft moan, and he responded with a low groan that vibrated against your lips. it was like a switch had flipped—gone was the shy, bumbling rafe, replaced by someone who knew exactly what he wanted and wasn’t afraid to take it.
his tongue traced the seam of your lips, asking for permission, and when you parted them, he deepened the kiss with a confidence that made your head spin.
“God,” he muttered, his voice breathless. “you’re incredible.”
you were too dazed to respond, your fingers tangling in his hair as he kissed you like his life depended on it.
time seemed to blur, the world outside the library fading away until there was nothing but the feel of his lips on yours and the steady thrum of his heartbeat against your palm.
when he finally pulled back, his cheeks were flushed, his glasses fogged up, and his sweater slightly askew. “sorry,” he said, though the satisfied grin on his face suggested he wasn’t sorry at all.
“for what?” you asked, still catching your breath.
“for not doing that sooner.”
you laughed, pulling him in for another kiss. “you’re such a dork.”
“your dork,” he murmured against your lips, and you couldn’t help but smile.
“yeah,” you said, your voice soft. “mine.”
taglist: @namelesslosers @princessslutt @averyoceanblvd @iknowdatsrightbih @starkeysprincess @anamiad00msday @ivysprophecy @wearemadeofstardust0 @kissrotten @rafesangelita @sstargirln @rafedaddy01 @soldesole @bakugouswaif @skywalker0809 @vanessa-rafesgirl @evermorx89 @aariahnaa @outerhills @ditzyzombiesblog
#rafe x reader#rafe outer banks#rafe fic#rafe#rafe x you#rafe cameron x reader#outerbanks rafe#rafe cameron#rafe imagine#rafe obx#rafe fanfiction#rafe cameron obx#outer banks rafe#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron blurb#obx fic#obx#obx4#obx cast#obx season 4#obx 4#outer banks#outer banks 4
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✮ sleeping over - gojo satoru
synopsis: gojo satoru finally convinces you to stay over his place.
warnings: fluff, gn!reader, pouty gojo, reader loves teasing him — wc: 698
notes: new fic after idk how many days yipee hey people
satoru dislikes staying at home sometimes. it’s not about how fancy his house is or even how comfortable it is. no, it’s about not having you in the house. he loves your company a lot and is always so dependent on you. he loves hugging you, kissing you, touching you �� satoru loves your presence so much that he feels like he can’t live without you (it’s such an exaggeration you say to him when he says that to you).
“y/n, baby, honey,” satoru whines. he wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you back down onto his lap as you are about to stand up. “are you going to stay over tonight?”
“…mm, maybe next time,” you reply, and satoru groans.
“you always say next time, though.” satoru pouts, resting his chin on your shoulder. “come on. just this once. we’ve been dating for four months now! it’s gotta happen someday.” the way he tightens his grip on your waist is a silent beg for you to stay. “please?”
you sigh, finally giving in. “okay, fine.” satoru gasps, happy. “but you will be taking care of dinner tonight.”
“okay!” satoru says in excitement. “what do you want? sushi? pizza? pasta? say anything and you’ll get it!”
you stifled a laugh. “hm, you can just make anything you want. i don’t mind.”
“okay. i’ll make us some kitsune udon.” satoru says. you nod in agreement.
satoru lets go of you, allowing you to move away from him. he takes the ingredients out and starts cooking. you silently admire satoru from the couch, looking at him cutting up the ingredients, boiling the water, and waiting for the udon to finish. as soon as he finishes, he sets the two bowls down on the table, clapping his hands in satisfaction.
“dinner’s ready!” satoru exclaims. you stand up, the smell of kitsune udon filling your nose. “mm, it smells amazing, toru!”
“of course it does.” satoru smugly says. “i’m the best cook after all. the best one you’ll ever meet in the entire world.”
“pft-” you giggled. “yeah, okay whatever you say, master chef satoru.” satoru frowns, not taking the insult (as he would call it) very well. however, instead of refuting you, he sits down at the left side of the table, far from you, and starts eating quietly. “why are you sitting so far away from me?”
“no reason why.” satoru shrugs, continuing to eat his udon. “why? you got a problem with that?”
you suppress the smile from forming on your face, knowing the reason behind this. “no. just wondering why.”
satoru frowns once more, upset at the lack of reaction. he stands up and sits next to you, slamming his bowl on the table, and spilling a little bit of the soup. “i can never get to you can i?”
“nope.” you say, popping the ‘p’. “you’re just too cute when you’re mad.”
“i hate you,” satoru mumbles. “i hate you with my every soul. i regret inviting you to stay over.”
“yeah, okay,” you say, finishing your udon. “wanna watch a movie after this?”
“yes.” satoru replies immediately. you both finish your meal, satoru immediately takes your bowl to wash it. “you can go pick the movie. if you pick the same barbie movie-”
“i am definitely watching barbie: princess charm school,” you say and rush to the couch. satoru chases after you and the both of you grab the remote, fighting over it. “hey-! come on, give me the remote, toru!”
“no way! i am not watching that movie for the tenth time this week and it’s only tuesday!” satoru says. “let me watch something i’ve been wanting to watch already! come on, let’s watch horror!”
“no way!” you exclaim, pulling the remote harder. “you know how much i hate horror! you’re the one who asked me to pick the movie for tonight so you better let me watch barbie!”
satoru pulls the remote back and it actually leaves your hand, making you lose your balance. you gasp, trying to catch your balance but you fail. satoru quickly catches you and the both of you fall on the couch. unsurprisingly, you fall on top of satoru, to which he is very happy about. “hey.” he says with a smile on his face.
“don’t say anything.” you frowned, though you were in a really comfortable position. “don’t move, actually. i’m really comfortable.”
“what?” satoru laughs. “at least let me be comfortable.” he holds you gently as he moves back to the couch. “there. and since i’m a nice host, i’ll let you watch barbie.”
“really? yeay!” your eyes sparkled happily. you grab the remote and play it. “just admit you like this movie. it’s a fun one!”
“yeah, sure.” satoru’s eyes are on you, watching the pretty smile on your face widen as the introduction to the movie starts. “i do like it.”
taglist: @planetnini @xintre @kyoghurts @sad-darksoul (send an ask to be added!) <3
#kylin.writes#gojo satoru#gojo satoru x y/n#gojo satoru x you#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru fluff#gojo satoru fanfic#satoru gojo#satoru gojo x you#satoru gojo x y/n#satoru gojo x reader#satoru gojo fluff#satoru gojo fanfic#gojo#gojo x y/n#gojo x reader#gojo x you#gojo fluff#gojo fanfic#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x gender neutral reader#jujutsu kaisen x y/n#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen gojo#jjk#jjk x y/n#jjk x you#jjk x reader
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Heyy can you write a onsehot of charles being really really really clingy to the reader ,like wanting cuddels kisses
YES!!!!! I don’t think I ever wrote Charles in a clingy way so it’ll be fun to try!
Attached at The Hip
Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Hispanic/Latina reader
Summary: Charles has a break between races and decides to spend it with his girlfriend. However, his girlfriend is not paying attention to him.
Warning: spelling and grammatical errors
A/N: sorry it’s been a while since I have posted anything, I went to California as my graduation gift. Thank you for your request! I am so happy you like my writing enough to request a oneshot! If I haven’t gotten to your request yet, I AM WORKING ON IT, te lo juro por las haditas.
Charles had a 3 week break between races and what better way to spend this break than with his lovely girlfriend? When Charles came back Tuesday afternoon, he cuddled with his girlfriend, they watched a movie together, he gave her many kisses because he missed her so much. However, Wednesday morning Charles woke up without Y/N by his side and with the smell of baked goods. Charles walked into the kitchen and saw Y/N with her cupcake apron, frosting one batch of cupcakes, pulling another batch out of the oven, and putting another batch in the oven.
“Mon ange, it’s 7 am, what are you doing baking?” Charles asked.
“I received an order for cupcakes, muñeco. It’s a birthday party so I’m making cupcakes for the children and for the adults. I made margarita cupcakes for the adults and s’mores cupcakes for the children. I obviously wanted the cupcakes to be fresh, the party starts at 1, that also gives me time to deliver these.” Y/N said, showing Charles the tray of macarons that were made yesterday before he came over. “I spent the entire morning frosting them. If you can take the cupcakes out of the oven when the timer rings, I would greatly appreciate it.”
“I thought we were going to spend the day together.” Charles pouted, getting closer to hug Y/N but she walked away from his hug.
“Muñeco, i would love to cuddle you, but I have to deliver these to the café before they open.” Y/N packed the macarons in boxes very carefully and left the apartment, leaving a very sad Charles. When the timer dinged, he took out the cupcakes using Y/N’s oven mitts and placed them on top of the stove, turning off the oven. Y/N got back with bags of groceries for her apartment and her business.
“Ma Belle, are you still going to bake?” Charles asked.
“Charles, i supply macarons everyday for a café plus personal orders. I’m a busy girl, muñeco.” Y/N responded, Charles hugged her from behind.
“Can’t you take a break, please.” Charles whispered in her ear, kissing her neck as well.
“Muñeco…” Y/N whines
“I haven’t gotten any attention today.” Charles whined
“Let me frost the cupcakes and I’ll give you all the attention you want. Until 12 that is, then I’ll have to deliver these cupcakes.” Y/N said.
“I’ll take it.” Charles pulled away from Y/N, kissing her and letting her do a baker’s job. As soon as she finished frosting the cupcakes, she laid down with Charles and he was very happy with her in his arms. They watched the Spanish TV show “Ni Una Más” with English subtitles for Charles when Y/N’s phone rings, it was the mom who was throwing the birthday party.
“Hello, yes the cupcakes are ready, I’ll be over there in a few. S’mores cupcakes for the kids and margarita cupcakes for you guys, alright, bye.” Y/N hung up the phone. “Muñeco, I gotta go.” Y/N tried to get up but Charles held her tighter.
“No, please stay.” Charles begged against her neck.
“Muñeco, this is how I make my rent, I have to drop off the cupcakes.” Y/N said, getting up successfully and putting the cupcakes in their respective containers. Charles got up as well.
“At least let me drive you.” Charles said.
“Nope, you’re staying here like a good boy, okay.” Y/N said, opening the apartment door with cupcake boxes in hand. “Stay…good boy.” Y/N left the apartment, leaving Charles again.
After Y/N was paid 200 euros for the cupcakes since they are flavors that not everyone else makes, she went back to her apartment and found Charles on the couch.
“Finally, you’re home! Let’s spend some time together, yes? We should go out on the yacht.” Charles said, “or we could stay in bed,” Charles hugged Y/N from behind.
“You’re so clingy. But you’re adorable, let’s go.” Y/N said. Charles silently cheers and grabs Y/N’s hand to lead her into her bedroom so they could watch TV and rot in bed together.
The End
I hope you like it, I don’t know how to write “clingy” because I have a fearful avoidant attachment style so I don’t know what “clingy” typically looks like but I hope it’s acceptable
#hispanic reader#latina#hispanic#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc fanfic#charles leclerc fluff#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc x you#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#charles leclerc#f1 fanfic#attached at the hip
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Side Effects | Bucktommy
“He’s going to be drowsy and a little out of it, Evan,” the nurse tells him as the nurse leads him through the recovery area to where they wheeled Tommy back. It was a simple surgery to fix a torn ligament in his elbow, which happened when his arm got hyperextended on a call.
“Oh I’m sure he’ll be fine, he’s tough,” Buck assures the nurse who gives him an amused smile. Buck doesn’t think about that too much and goes to open the curtain and he sees Tommy in a green gown with leads and IV lines hooked all around him. Buck couldn’t help the smile that spread across his lips as he saw Tommy ultra concentrated on the world's smallest juice box on the tray in front of him.
“Hi baby, how’re you feeling?” Buck asks and ducks down to press a quick kiss to Tommy's hairline.
That gets Tommy’s attention and he looks up at Buck with still glassy eyes. “Wow, are you my new nurse?!” Tommy asks.
Buck chuckles and settles in the chair to the right of the bed. “No, not a nurse. I am your firefighter though,” Buck replies thinking they are in on the same joke.
Tommy’s eyes go wide and look at Buck with new concern, “firefighter? Did you save me? Is that why you're here?” Okay maybe Tommy is a little more out of it than originally thought.
Buck takes Tommy’s right hand in his being mindful of the heart monitor and sling his elbow is in. “Nope, didn’t save you. You had a minor injury, but the doc fixed you up.”
Tommy sighs in relief and is quiet for a moment, Buck thinks he might be starting to get a little more lucid. “Good. Because it’s always awkward hitting on someone after they save you, and you are the most gorgeous man I’ve ever seen. What’s your name?”
Alright. Not there yet, Buck sneaks a look at the nurse who’s monitoring Tommy’s vitals and they share a knowing smile. Even still, Tommy can make him blush out of nowhere. Buck plays along. “My name’s Evan, most people call me Buck though.”
Tommy scrunches his nose, “No, I don’t think I like ‘Buck’, I like Evan better,” Tommy declares confidently. Buck definitely likes Evan better when it comes out of Tommy’s mouth too.
“Well that’s a relief since my husband likes Evan better too,” Buck goads Tommy, mainly just to see his reaction.
Tommy throws his head back against the pillow and all but whines, “Noooo, of course all the hot ones are taken.” Buck hears the nurse stifle a laugh.
Buck feels a little evil. “Well luckily for you, he and I aren’t that serious,” Buck tells Tommy with a wink. Apparently Tommy has no awareness of Buck’s hand that has been connected to him this entire time. But, you know, details.
Buck scoots closer to Tommy’s face, inches within kissing distance and Buck is looking at Tommy with a smug smile, he plans to give Tommy all of the shit about this when the anesthesia fully wears off.
Tommy is staring at Buck’s lips as he whispers, “won’t your husband know?”
“Not to worry, handsome, he’s on a different planet right now,” Buck whispers back and closes the distance to kiss his stoned husband chastely on the lips.
When Buck pulls back, Tommy’s dazed eyes are roaming his face and lifts his left hand to Buck’s cheek and runs his fingertips lightly down his face. The light glints off his own wedding band and Tommy looks shocked at his hand then back to Buck with this mouth falling open.
“Holy shit,” Tommy says like he’s heartbroken, on the verge of tears, “I’m married too.” This time both Buck and the nurse lose it.
***
About an hour later when they get home Tommy seems to be back to normal, only a little groggy.
“Ugh, so happy to be home. Thank you, baby for taking care of me,” Tommy sighs as he walks up to Buck and kisses him. His smile turns into a frown when he looks at Buck's face. Buck returns with his own confused look.
“What happened here? Did you hit your head?!” Tommy asks full of concern and Bucks is lost until the second Tommy strokes his left eyebrow carefully. Buck has to close his eyes and bite his lips to keep his laugh in.
“Baby, that is a birthmark, it’s been there this whole time,” Buck replies evenly.
Tommy shakes his head with an unsure laugh, “right. Right, of course.” He pointedly avoids Buck’s sparkling eyes. “I’m just tired, bed?”
“Yeah, bed.” Buck turns Tommy around and guides him by the hips towards the bedroom.
#bucktommy#bucktommy fic#ficlet#kinley#kinley ficlet#tevan#evan buckley#tommy kinard#911 abc#911 ficlet#Don’t worry the kiss is consensual#they told me so#tevan fic
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𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆, 𝐈𝐍 𝐀𝐍𝐘 𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄 (part 2)
✧˚ · . three minutes past his 27th birthday, the mass serial killer known as 'dawnbreaker' finally meets the girl from his dreams
✧˚ · . part 1
✧˚ · . warnings:- dawnbreaker!zayne x fem!reader, HEAVY ANGST, mentions of food, mentions of illnesses, mentions of injuries, spoilers for zayne's lore, alternative timeline, mentions of babies, mentions of pregnancies, pet names (darling, my love, beloved), nightmares, mentions of smoking, MCD, brief mentions of su_cide, nightmares, a not so happy happy ending, minors and ageless blogs do not interact. i am not responsible for your media consumption
✧˚ · . dawn says: i had to split the last part into 2 because it was literally so long tumblr said nope sorry girlie this ain't making it into the tags lol
✧˚ · . playlist
“You may know me as Zayne, but I go by another name…”
He exhales it into the suffocating silence:
“Dawnbreaker.”
Your eyes bulge wider, mouth falling open in horror. Of course, you were aware of that name; you knew who he was.
Serina Callaghan, daughter of Detective Callaghan, had told you numerous stories about the elusive serial killer. How no one could find a trace of him.
Yet, here he was—standing in your kitchen with remorse etched onto every pore of his body.
You feel a sick sense of nausea bubbling from your stomach to your chest, threatening to spill onto the floor.
You had taken him in… made love to him… held him in your arms every night… when he had killed all those innocent people…
As if reading your mind, Zayne shakes his head. “These people—the ones who had passed on—I never killed them for fun. They wanted me to end their lives because they were overtaken by the disease… by the Abomination.”
His words shock you out of your reverie; tames your urge to grab the phone and call the police. For a split second, you wonder what Zayne would do to you if you were to lunge for the cordless phone; would he escape?
Kill you?
Forcing yourself to be far braver than you felt, you clutched your trembling hands together, taking in a deep breath.
“So, m-mercy killing,” your voice shook, but your deduction was spot on.
“Yes.” He shrugs off his coat, and you eye the wad of cash he takes out and sets on your kitchen counter. “I will never kill someone unless they pay me to do it. I do not like taking lives, but as one of the last Evolvers in this generation… it is my duty to help.”
Evolver?
The layers of truth were starting to make your head spin. You could barely unravel your spiraling thoughts.
“I thought Evolvers were extinct.”
Zayne shakes his head. “We are rare, but we are still here.”
As if to solidify the truth, he holds out his hand. On his palm, the air condenses, and the temperature in the kitchen drops a few celsius. You watch, gobsmack in silence, as bits of snow appear, coalescing right into a singular teardrop-shaped crystal that unfurls into a shimmery flower with five petals.
“Ice,” Zayne explains, and slowly approaches you. He gently places the flower on the table, right where you were standing.
He backs away, giving you some space to work out your emotions. You stare at the jasmine flower, in silent contemplation.
It’s intricate and beautiful, but ice in itself was deadly.
While it looked harmless falling from the sky, it had the power to bury people under its weight; causing hypothermia, avalanches, and skin burns.
You glance at Zayne, wondering which category he belonged in—if he was a chilly breeze or an entire fucking snowstorm.
His weary gaze spoke volumes, though he let you reach your own conclusions. Zayne was giving you a choice: one many people in your life didn’t.
Stay or leave.
Be with him or turn him away.
Two forks of an outcome; you had no idea what to choose.
Your silence stretches on and Zayne hangs his head forward. He’s about to turn and leave, when you slowly reach out to touch the jasmine flower. It’s cool on your palm, tougher and durable. Not wet and cold like real ice.
“Crystals?”
Your voice comes off low, hoarse. There’s a dazed look in your eyes, one which tugs on the sorrow lining his soul.
He hates to do this to you; hates how conflicted you look.
“This is what you use to kill people, don’t you?”
Astute, again. Zayne would honestly be impressed by your wits if he wasn’t painfully aware of how you were holding him accountable for his horrendous mistakes.
“I know you think awfully of me—”
“Why kill them?” You’re breathing heavily now, anguish coating your every word. “What if you could save them, instead? Can’t that be done?”
Zayne shakes his head, unable to meet your eye. “I have spoken to a few scientists about this… but many of them were taken by the Abomination. It’s caused by constant exposure to Protocores and is incurable. The only thing I can do is make sure those infected have a swift end.”
Your silence strikes him heavier than a hit.
“Infected?" you murmur hoarsely. "Constant exposure? A swift end? Do you even hear yourself?”
You simmer and bubble, cheeks flushed with anger. “Zayne—these are human beings! People with love, dreams and hopes. People with families. They’re not jobs or ledgers. They deserve a bit more dignity than that.”
Suddenly, the despair in his eyes turns ice cold. You’re hopeless to stop him from approaching you, and scramble back until you bump the kitchen counter, eyes wide and fearful. But, he stops just shy of your feet touching, an unfathomable expression on his face.
“I would never hurt anyone. Ever. You of all people should know. Didn’t you say you weren’t afraid of me the first time we were intimate together?” He fights hard to not let his tone turn accusatory, eyes shining with frustration and unshed tears. “What made you change your mind this time?”
“You killed them… you killed them all,” you’re close to tears, trembling from head to toe. Zayne looks like he’s about to cry as well, begging you to see beyond the murderer you thought he was; to embrace him and hold him and share his burden, even though he knows it’s unfair to put all this weight on you.
He was so tired of pretending that everything was alright. And deep down, he knew you were, too.
This world wasn’t kind to anyone, and he only had you to soothe the ache—to be the light he looks forward to every morning.
Please, don’t go, he wants to scream, hands balled into fists at his side. Don’t leave me alone… you are the only one I have left.
A sob bubbles past your lips, and you wrap your arms around you; willing yourself to stand upright and be brave.
“Do you regret it?” your voice is thick, and he longs to staunch the tears falling from your cheeks, but the words are lost in his throat.
“All of them? Did you ever regret killing them?”
Zayne tightens his fists, clenching down hard enough for his nails to leave pale moon crescent indents on his palms.
“There was a boy I had to kill once. Georgie. He would’ve been thirteen…” he closes his eyes, hoping to find some strength to push on. Zayne was so incredibly tired from constantly fighting.
“We celebrated his birthday at a cafe, too. He loved macarons. And chocolate. But, his mother gave him the disease. I had to be the one to put him down. I still think about him every time I hear ‘happy birthday’.”
His words are simple, but they make you bleed, staring at the floor with tears blurring your vision.
You fall into a thick disquiet, and so did he. Zayne stands upright, like a prisoner about to be read his final judgment; willing you to forgive him—god he hopes you find it in your heart to forgive him.
He wasn’t a good man—a fiend of the night people were afraid of. But, Zayne would never forgive himself if you didn’t take him back. He would dig his knees to the ground, beg for you to change your mind.
In the throes of his own self-loathing, he almost flinches when he feels your arms wrap around his torso. Your head thumps onto his chest, and he realizes you’re fully crying now. He embraces you fiercely, quickly. Holding you fast to him as if you both could fuse together and become one.
You leave tear stains across his blood speckled shirt, fingers digging into his shoulders as violent sobs rip through you.
“Do you hate me?” He forces himself to ask through numb lips. Zayne doesn’t know what answer you would give—if you would even reply to him.
But, you shake your head, hiccuping his name.
“Are you afraid?”
There’s a slight pause, and you shudder, shaking your head again.
Zayne nuzzles your hair, rocking you from side to side like he was comforting a hysterical child.
Your sobs eventually stop and you’re both swaying in each other’s arms now.
“I’m sorry,” you murmur. Zayne hums in confusion, and you continue. “I’m sorry for being so quick to misjudge you. You’re not the bad guy, Zayne. You were forced into this horror… our world is so fucked up and you were just trying to make it better any way you could.”
You peel your face from his chest, eyes red-rimmed and nose runny. He gently dabs at your tears and snot with the sleeve of his dress shirt, careful not to press down too hard.
He doesn’t say anything else, and you both let the silence scatter and fall where it may. Somehow, your fingers end up in his hair and he’s nudging you back against the hard counter.
Zayne lifts you up effortlessly, parting your legs wide to slot himself in between them, hands gently squeezing and groping your thighs and hips.
The need to reclaim you claws through him, searing his every coherent thought with nothing but the cry of your name.
He looks down the line of his nose, tilting your face up to the light so you meet his eyes. What he finds in your expression makes his heart ache in misery—your sadness and despondency hitting him right in the soul.
“Would you rather I stop killing people?”
It’s a loaded question, one that has your mind reeling. You eye the blood on his shirt, now soaked through with your tears.
“Only if you promise me you will never find pleasure from it.”
He shakes his head, firm in his conviction. “Never. Not once, or ever. I can promise you that.”
“Do the police know?”
A good question, indeed. Zayne nods, catching you off guard.
“Callaghan’s colleague. Detective Ivan. He was the one who scrubbed my records clean. He knows not to seek me out because… it means he’s next.”
Zayne lets the words hang in the air. He hears your mind whirring, thoughts piecing together.
“Detective Ivan found out and agrees with what you’re doing? So, the police are turning a blind eye?”
“Yes,” Zayne murmurs, trying hard not to fall into the gravity of your lips; forcing attention to this distressing topic.
“He was with me when Georgie died. He saw the extent of how the Abomination takes over people. Dark as it is, he agrees with my ethics and now, I only focus on people who come to me through word of mouth. Rarely do I ever hunt them anymore. They choose this end because it is far less painful than the alternative.”
“Which is?”
He steadies himself with a short breath. “Living as a rotting corpse with no control over your body.”
You suck in a sharp inhale. Your smaller fingers fist the front of his shirt, your mind a million miles away.
Zayne nudges your face towards him, fingers cold on your skin. He swallows hard, and you follow the motion—his throat moving, Adam’s apple bobbing. Impulsively, you lean forward, catching him off guard with a chaste kiss.
He musters a low groan when you begin to tug on his hair; sliding your tongue into his mouth.
Frantically, he grips your thighs, hips—fisting your hair to pull you closer.
Hot breaths clash. Moans echo around the kitchen. You lean back, far enough for silvery strands of spit to connect your lips to his.
Zayne devours the dark look in your eyes, and he thinks loving someone shouldn’t hurt this much, but for you, he would go through the agony all over again.
The tormented man wants to swallow you down, break his rib cage open and tuck you safely close to his heart. Your sighs and gasps fuel him to be better—change his ways so he could have you in his life forever.
“Zayne,” you sigh, all syrupy and love-struck. You play with his shirt’s button, and before he can stop you, you start to unravel all of him.
“—No." He grabs your hands in a panic, stopping your intentions in loosening his buttons. Those scars on his skin flash behind his mind, marking him as a lost soul and unworthy of you.
You shake your head, determination lining your pretty features. “Don’t hide from me anymore, Zayne. I want to see you—all of you.”
He’s helpless to stop you from unfastening his armor, greeting those silvery scars with a soft gasp.
There was a reason he never fucked you with the lights on—those lacerations on his body caused him shame.
But, you don't recoil out of disgust like he expects. Instead, your pretty fingers topped with pink nail polish trace the milky white divots; those signs of pain and abuse he had to endure for his entire life.
Peering at you pass thick lashes, he sees you lick your lips, the desire on your face as clear as day.
“You’re so beautiful, Zayne.”
Not giving him a chance to speak, you dip your head forward, pressing your soft lips reverently to the scar just above his heart.
Zayne feels like something seismic has just happened—an internal earthquake which rocks him apart.
Outwardly, the world doesn’t change; the flickering light he keeps on forgetting to fix over your sink still casts intermittent shadows across your face; the outside world whirs with sounds of robots and automated deliveries.
Nothing has changed and yet, everything inside of him has fundamentally been shifted.
A strangled sound emanates from his chest, and you look up quickly, afraid that you might have hurt him.
But, Zayne’s not in pain—not in the least. His green eyes shine verdantly like a forest after a storm, locked right onto your flushed face. You think that out of all the realities in this messed up world, you might find the real meaning of adoration in them.
He cups your face, smoothes your cheeks with his thumbs.
“I love you.”
It’s the first time he’s ever said this out loud. His breathing stutters, caught off guard. And you’re staring at him, too. All wide eyes, and parted, perfect lips.
Slowly, you defrost, bringing your hands up to your face, pressing your palms to the back of his hands.
The silence is deafening—a pin could roll off the counter and fall to the ground, sounding like an explosion. Zayne swears he can hear the blood rushing in his ears.
“I love you, too.”
Your voice is soft. Fragile. It echoes with shades of fear, but never uncertainty.
For if there was one thing you were certain in this life, it was that you were completely, sincerely and stupidly in love with Zayne.
His eyes ripple close, and so do yours. Foreheads gently touch, breaths shared as one. The two of you stay like this for a long time, savoring this quiet, beautiful connection you had both created in such a short time.
Zayne has never known love in this lifetime.
Slowly—surely—he was starting to warm himself up to the idea; falling deeper and deeper into a head on collision with your devotion.
None of it scares him; how could it when it’s the stuff of his dreams? Of a forever stretching into the tiniest moments: languid mornings over shitty cereal and sappy medical romcoms on your beaten up couch and nights spent warming your sheets.
He can’t fight it; this feeling of always wanting to be by your side.
And so, he openly and fervently welcomes it.
“You’re glowing.”
Serina’s offhand comment brings you up short, and you fight back the creeping flush threatening to overtake your cheeks; preferring to bite your lower lip and turn you face away so she couldn’t see your growing smile.
Her silence isn’t judgmental this time. Rather, it’s tainted with a cynical curiosity.
“I guess Zayne really does make you happy.”
You hum, going back to your supplies of flour and sheets of freshly roasted nuts.
“He’s staying with me now.”
“Oh.”
You don’t turn to face; don’t have to because you know she’s making a face behind your back.
“Is he coming to pick you up later?”
You think about him astride his motorcycle, dark locks whipping in the wind; fitted black trench coat, pristine suit and tie clinging right onto his frame and feel your stomach twist with nerves.
“Mhm hmm.”
Serina pauses, and you could tell she was struggling with something to say.
“I’m happy for you.”
Whatever it was you expected to drop from her mouth, it wasn’t this.
You turn around, and the incredulity must've been transparent on your face because she bursts into laughter, doubling forward to cackle with glee.
“Your face! You look like I just came out and told you I sold children’s blood by the bag.”
She snorts and straightens, wheezing slightly. “I am happy for you, you idiot. I’m glad you’re not fish food yet and you’re glowing and you have a stupid amount of hickeys you try to cover up every day with that shitty concealer I got for you five fucking years ago. Point is: I’m happy for you.”
Serina emphasizes the last word, and you shyly lace your fingers together, feeling both sheepish and incredibly exasperated.
“I… Thank you.” Not knowing what else to say, you flash her a small smile, one which she returns instantly.
Scoffing, she runs a hand through her platinum blonde hair and tosses the rag she was holding across her shoulder, gesturing to the door.
“Go. I can handle closing time. I know you’re dying to see Zayne tonight.”
You perk up, in disbelief. “Serina—”
“Leave those nuts in the fridge. They should be easy to chop up and temper with our chocolate bark tomorrow.” Hustling you out of the kitchen, you squeal at the feel of her cold fingers prodding your lower back. “Now, go. Call Zayne up and let him take you home. I’m sick of your love struck puppy expression.”
Despite yourself, you laugh, and unlace your apron. “Are you sure you can handle it? I can stay with you and help.”
Serina makes a face, though you could tell she was joking. “Ugh, and have to be around you for another hour while you pine for and miss him? Yuck. Get out of here.”
She jokingly swats you with her towel and you get her message loud and clear.
“Okay, okay. Goodnight, you ass.”
“Goodnight, simp,” she drawls, and you scoff, rolling your eyes while you pick up your phone to call Zayne.
Serina waits together with you, smoking a cigarette and filling you in on the latest online celebrity gossip.
When Zayne arrives, sharp on time and sharply dressed as ever, she shoots you a smirk and a wave. You wave back, and slip on the helmet he passes you, stradling behind him to speed off into the night.
They look happy together.
The young woman chuckles tiredly, scrubbing a hand down her face. She trudges back into the cafe, cleans up the remaining plates and cups, humming under her breath. As she fills up the dishwasher for its final load of the night, she hears the front doorbell tinkling.
Frowning, Serina wonders if you had left something behind when the sound of heavy footfalls resounds in the quiet space.
Thinking nothing of it, she straightens, a scowl on her blush rose lips.
“We’re closed,” she calls out in her most polite voice.
The presence in the dining space does not remove itself. From her stance inside the kitchen, she could just make out the silhouette of a tall man partially hidden behind the pillar separating the main hall from where she stood.
Fuelled with distaste and annoyance, she rounds the corner, fully prepared to fight off this stranger and tell them to piss off.
“I said, we’re closed—”
Her words are cut off when she notices a faint glow of purple surrounding him. His eyes which were once blue were now soulless and drained, clapping onto hers, their pupils widening slightly.
Strange bulges appear on his body, and in the limited light, they seem to move up and down his arms.
Crawling like they were filled with life.
She takes a step back, a sharp scream piercing the air.
The man falls back, putting his hands over his ears. He yanks on his graying hair, teeth bared and spittle splattering onto the ground.
“Shut… up…”
His moans rattle and thump, filled with pain. He looks at her, and in the briefest of moments when they make eye contact, Serina could plainly see the anguish in them—the desperation for someone to end it all.
“Please,” his hoarse voice makes her skin crawl, her hairs stand on end. “Someone… Help me… kill me…”
The stranger falls to his knees, back arching like a cat poised to throw up all over the polished, hardwood floors.
He heaves, and spittle drips from between his clenched teeth. Serina can’t move; completely frozen to one spot, locked on the sight of his pale hands curling into claws.
Those choked sounds he made would haunt her for the rest of her life. But, nothing could prepare her for when he lifts his head and the bulge under his right eye bursts, revealing a dark, tentacle appendage dangling from his cheek.
“Please,” he begs her with what was left of his humanity.
“You have to help me… you have to save me.”
Zayne’s arms wrap around your waist as you’re stirring a pot, his hum of adoration and contentment rumbling against your back.
“What?” you tease, picking up some bay leaves and tossing them into the fresh marinara sauce. “Are you excited to make me cook even after I slaved for a whole night in the kitchen?”
He clicks his tongue, kisses you right on your pulse point.
“Feisty. And here I was, about to fully offer you my assistance.”
He drops his arms, and you turn back to him with a pout.
“I was joking,” you backtrack, fluttering your lashes. “I could really use your help,” and add, “Please,” when the beginning of a smirk plays on the corners of his mouth.
“Alright,” he hums, grabbing a handful of sweet basil and a knife, chopping them up finely to be added to the pasta sauce once it was done.
It was comfortable working alongside him. Zayne didn’t need endless chatter to fill in the void, and neither did you feel obliged to talk his ear off.
You start to hum, and he tunes in, admiring the rise and fall of the melody; how clear and bright your voice is.
“Would you like to put on some music?” He suggests, pointing to the old radio sitting atop your kitchen counter, a fine layer of dust on its smeared screen.
You take him up on the offer, nodding.
Zayne pushes a button and the last recording you had on plays in the room. A voice from long ago vibrates with nostalgia, reminding him of days passed and a comfort only found from warm sheets on a Sunday morning.
“Why don’t you ever let me into your home?”
He pauses, glancing at you. “Pardon?”
You exhale a laugh, and a teasing quality takes over your smile. “Your apartment. How come I never see it? Do you have piles of bodies you’re hiding from me?”
A slender, calloused finger materializes by your hip, poking into your side. You flinch and giggle, locking eyes with his amused expression.
“Careful. Do not go around unnecessarily exposing me.”
“So, you do have them under your floorboards.”
He decides to challenge you back. “Are you afraid?”
You scoff, picking up a wooden ladle to stir the sauce. “You must be mistaken, Zayne. For it isn’t me who should be afraid of you, but you of me.”
He resists the urge to pick you up and spin you in his arms for being so damn adorable. Reigning in the cute aggression, he titters a laugh. “And why is that so?”
“Because,” you turn to him, your teasing smile growing wider. “I know things you don’t know. I have a certain set of skills not many have knowledge of and I can and will use them to my advantage.”
“Oh, really?” He drawls, raising a brow. The expression draws his handsome face into a comical curiosity; it nearly breaks your resolve not to laugh. “Enlighten me on these skills.”
You clear your throat, setting the ladle down. “For example, I can bet you that I am a better dancer.”
Unexpectedly, he sweeps you into his arms, grabbing your left hand with his right and encircling the other one around your waist; you had no choice but to place your other hand on his broad shoulder to keep your balance.
He was close—much too close—and it makes your face burn hot, your mischievous quips dying in the back of your throat.
Zayne holds you fast, sure—swaying you from side to side as you both slowly circle the room, one gliding footstep at a time. He makes sure to lead you properly, careful to keep you two in an orbit far from mishap.
You feel safe enough to lay your head on his chest, hearing his heartbeat and breathing alongside the sweet, romantic music. Eyes falling close, you lavish in this sense of serenity and comfort you had never felt in your life.
Zayne, too, takes a second to savor this moment. He gazes at the peace suffusing across your face and feels his heart growing lighter.
I want this for the rest of my life.
The thought jolts him from his reverie; scares him enough to convince himself to take it back.
But, as much as Zayne wants to delude himself, he can’t run away from the truth.
He wants this for as long he breathes on this godforsaken planet. As long as the seas ebb and flow and the sun turns on its fucking axis—he wants you. Zayne doesn’t care what others might think; how they would make a mockery of your connection to him. He would kill anyone who tries to get between you both.
And he hopes that deep down, you feel the same way, too.
He wakes up in the early morning to his phone vibrating on the dresser.
Zayne groans, feels a sinking weight on his chest and realizes you had fallen asleep sprawled on top of him.
His instincts override his fuzzy mind to not wake you up, nimbly grabbing his phone and answering the call without looking at the screen.
“Zayne.”
The voice on the other end jerks him fully awake, and he resists the urge to jolt upright, remembering you were still fast asleep.
“One second,” he murmurs into the receiver. The other man hums.
Zayne puts the phone back down, gently scooping you up and rolling you to the side, tucking the covers under your chin.
He sits upright, turning to plant his feet to the ground and picks the phone back up.
“Detective Ivan?”
“We have an emergency.”
Zayne stops scratching his bare chest, tired green eyes sharpening from the urgency in the older man’s tone. Ivan would never call him unless it was serious and usually there was only one reason why he would.
“An Abomination has attacked a young woman in a cafe. Nightstar Cafe. One of those oldy diners that open till early morning.”
Ivan doesn’t hear Zayne’s sharp breath, nor is he there to see how terrified the younger man looks, turning his gaze to the sleeping woman next to him.
“A young woman? Was she blonde?”
He can feel Ivan frowning on the other end. “How did you know?”
Zayne concocts a lie. “I saw the cafe in passing. Is it serious?”
“We have no visual on the Abomination and neither on the girl. We’re stuck and we need your help. Only you can track her down.”
Zayne racks his brain, thinking of his apartment that’s almost an hour away from yours. If he could get to his tracking systems quickly, maybe there was still time to solve this case…
“Alright,” he made up his mind. “Give me half an hour to find her. I’ll alert you to her whereabouts.”
Ivan breathes a sigh of relief. “Thank you, Zayne.”
“Do not mention it.” He clicks off the call, turns to find you still fully asleep. As quietly as he could, he stands and gets ready, dressing in a nondescript black t-shirt and a pair of dark jeans, bundling up with his trench coat to keep the autumn chill at bay.
Just as he’s about to grab his bike keys, he hears you stirring.
“Zayne?”
Your voice is fringed with exhausted curiosity, bleary eyes blinking and trying to pin onto his figure in the total darkness.
He’s next to you in a heartbeat, bending down to place a kiss on your forehead. “I have an emergency. You stay here and rest, alright? Wait for me. I’ll be home for you soon.”
You could only nod obediently, watching him rush out of the room; the front door closing behind him with a loud thud.
Wondering what could’ve spurred Zayne into such a frantic mode, you close your eyes, about to drift off when you hear a knock.
Woozily, you get to your feet, stifling a yawn. The hem of his too big shirt brushes your thighs, and you rub your eyes, frowning when the knocks get more insistent.
“Coming,” you call out, and trudge to the front door.
Peering through the security monitor, your heart skips a beat when you notice your best friend on the other side, her expression wild; eyes darting down the hallway and jaw strained.
“Serina? What’re you doing here at this time?”
Your voice carries out to the front, and you hear her over the security intercom.
“Babe, please. Let me in. Something terrible has happened. I can’t explain it, but I need your help.”
She sounds afraid and terrified, and your heart squeezes in fear when she glances down the hallway again, as if she were being chased.
Without another thought, you unlatch the door for her, and she comes barreling in, sinking to the floor the second you shut the door closed.
You fall to your knees next to her, reaching out to touch her shoulder. Squinting in the darkness, you faintly make out splotches of darkness on her tank top, and it’s not until you switch on the lights that you notice it’s blood.
“Serina!” you gasp, and in the brightness, her irises have completely pin pricked, only a thin ring of blue surrounding them.
She grabs your hands, tugs you closer to her face. Your heart is about to fly out of your chest, and you fight back, trying to break free from her grasp.
But, she’s fueled by fear and something else—something which ramps her paranoia up to concerning levels.
“Man. Wanderer. He hurt me. Tried to kill me. I ran… I ran here. I had no idea where else to go.”
Her words slur and clash in a cacophony of confusion. You can’t make heads or tails what she’s trying to say, but you attempt to piece it together for her sake.
“Hold on, hold on. Breathe.” You grab her thin shoulders in your white-knuckled grip, trying to shake the fear out of her. There was no time for confusion; you needed to know exactly what happened to her. “Start from the beginning, please. I can’t help you if I don’t understand.”
Without warning, tears fill her eyes and she pitches her head forward, breaking into silent sobs.
Your arms automatically wrap around her, pulling her into your embrace. She cries, screams and wails, breaking down in total fear.
“It’s okay,” you soothe her, like how you had soothed Zayne many, many times in the aftermath of his nightmares. “You’re fine. You’ll be safe.”
She shakes her head, hiccuping incoherently. “He hurt me. He cut me with his teeth. I—” A full body shudder goes through her.
Alarmed, you rock back on your haunches, eyes wide and locked on her pinched expression. “Serina, are you okay—?”
The words die on the tip of your tongue, and you instinctively stand up, backing towards the wall when you notice her eyes starting to glow a bright purple.
“Serina—!”
She curls onto the ground, crying out in pain. Her body starts to writhe, and a gruesome crunching sound cracks through the air.
Too late to escape, you watch in horror as her body convulses, the bones of her spine breaking and twisting. Her skin turns a revolting shade of purple, and spittle froths down her mouth.
Before the petrifying purple light entirely consumes her body, she manages to hoarsely cry out two words which shakes you to your core:
“Save me.”
SOBS im sorry to have to cut it here but it was too long </3 last part coming soon !! reblogs and feedback are sincerely appreciated ���
©️ all works belong to lalunanymph. do not copy my concept, repost my stories or translate and post them to other platforms
#🦢 writes#zayne love and deepspace#zayne x reader#zayne x you#zayne angst#love and deepspace angst#dawnbreaker
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