#too much free time!!!! and the senioritis is doing its thing!!!!! this is an issue!!!!!!
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i need. more anxiety & stress in my life
#too much free time!!!! and the senioritis is doing its thing!!!!! this is an issue!!!!!!#when i don’t have time to get anything done. i get it all done. because i squeeze it in & feel a sense of urgency#i have sooooo much time to get everything done so logically that means i don’t get any of it done#idk how it happens. i am going on a trip tomorrow directly after school have i started packing yet? nope! will i have any time to? nope!#did i have the entire afternoon free today? sure did!#to be fair i did get a pretty good amount of homework done today. but not NEARLY enough#i’ve got sooooo many scholarships to apply to. haven’t even looked at them#TWO essays to write by tuesday. have not started. whoops!#i need to get crazy busy again that would fix this. i need to be so stressed out i can’t think pleeeease#who needs to be happy! i can be happy in the summer! rn i need to be PRODUCTIVE!
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THURSDAY - .... um...?
well would you look at that. the blue bitchass is beginning to give up... how wonderful doing a party ain't easy don't try this at home-
WELL... since... SMG4 isn't going to announce something cool, i um, will! similar to the 1K birthday party last year on thursday, i'll show an itty bitty wip update once more on:
LIPBITE PART 3!!
since i already teased lil bit from this page a few days ago, i thought might as well show the whole thing!! obviously not final, but very close to it. frankly i've been meaning to have this next part done before 2025, yet i kept getting really sick, and having to manage several projects and irl issues/events. hopefully within my last spring semester i can continue working little by little but i can't genuinely guarantee a date. other than later this year LMAO. but what i CAN guarantee is i'm making sure its as great- maybe even better than pt2 as i'm putting a little more effort and thought from improving the past few months. alas, it is slowly in the works and reminder to folks i AM in my senior year and will be graduating THIS SPRING!! yippee!!! hopefully, after this event i can get back to prioritizing this one as i slowly get back to college. either way, once its done, i hope you guys will enjoy it as much as i do and hopefully the wait will be somewhat worth it. until then, wait patiently fuckers /silly
BUT THATS NOT ALL!!
since obviously that one sketch above ain't going be enough
here's a bunch of other things i've worked on during my fall semester that seems pretty cool and relevant but never uploaded on here !!
this is a illustration piece i made for my screen printing class! with the printed one being off from the reference since i put the color order wrong LMAO and i also wanted to experiment how chaotic i could make it hehehe. kinda shy to share this piece in particular, but its honestly one of my favorites i've done, so theres no harm in sharing
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/c65630f3c08e509982b288f56f2489ba/126c25477303d374-d7/s540x810/be6b6ce12394da5b60edf441ce01da4891ce8e51.jpg)
the same class, but as 1/3 of my final, i had to make books! but because i'm horrible with using pins and too picky with paper + string alignment, i thought it would be best i do... well... a very silly collage-like project xDDD buTT!! this one taking the opportunity to make a cool TSB book!!!
lastly, something even more crazy, another final from one of my other classes... a kickstarter.
BUTT PLEASE LET ME STATE THAT THIS IS FAKE AND PURELY MADE FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES. I AM SOLELY SHARING FOR FUN AND ENTERTAINMENT. THIS ISN'T REAL WHATSOEVER AND VERY LIKELY WONT EVER BE.
okay legal reasons out of the way-
i've shared this with very few people on my server, HOWEVER, instead of me being in control what you can and can not see, i've decided to just let it out for people to see the silly jokes and additions around the page i've made on your own free will, and additionally to help folks get a more semi-direct answer to what TSB story is to those who haven't caught up or confused! a win-win lmao
welp. time's nearly up for me so i will flee for now. hopefully this satisfied some interested despite not being TOO grand, but just small silly goodies for the day.
but if you're still reading this, all i gotta say is tomorrow is a more special day. something i'm very proud of and hope ya'll will enjoy 🍔
#what if i uploaded early?#what then?#smg4#tsb#tsb official#smg4 oc#smg4 mario#tsb birthday bash#tsb birthday crash
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HEYO Y'ALL!!!! I got bored and decided my last intro post was WAY too unorganised (even by my standards frfr 😔😔🙏) so i made a new one!!! hopefully this ones a bit better or else ima light somebody on fire 🥰🥰
anyways dms n asks r ALWAYS open and if ur new to my person/being/blog/existancewhatevs and wanna get to know me or smth then FEEL FREE TO SLIDE IN GIRLYPOPS!!! I'M ALWAYS BORED SOO 😭😭🙏 (might take like, a billion years to reply tho mbmb >:3)
and thus again, without any further ado, MY INTRO POST 😍
🎶 try to strike a chord but it's probably A MINOR 🎶 -> ✨️im under 18✨️ idm nsfw convos tho bcuz theyre funny :D
sooo tbh you can call me whatever you want? like ppl call me different things (eg senka calls me kam, bea calls me keke/kekere bcuz shes 🎶a meanie, a big meanie🎶 my irl bestie westie pookie poo calls me jeena CUZ HES A LIL BITCH) but MHM!!! CALL ME WHATEVER U WANNA <33 (as long as it dont feel masc bcuz my dumbass got issues w feeling masc for some RANDOM STUPID REASON 💀) (like im literally a cis girl why do i got problems w this....... but YAAAA 😭) (she/her btw!!! if that wasnt obvious!! ^^)
✨️i am cringe but i am free✨️
I SOMETIMES USE GENDERED TERMS LIKE GIRLY/BRO/DUDE/ETC BUT I DON'T MEAN IT GENDERED SO IF YOU FEEL IFFY THEN DONT HESITATE TO HMU N TELL ME TO FIX UP MY SHIT
btw im a tad bit of train wreck but if u enjoy the chaos then we'll get along js fine i think pooks 😋😋
anyways it came to my shitty little attention span one day when i was just being a silly lil girly that some of yall think im white when i say im british....... CHAT NOOO IM BORN N RAISED IN THIS TEA RIDDEN COUNTRY BUT ETHNICITY WISE IM BANGLADESHI!??!?! YALL IM LITERALLY A BROWNIE OMFDS 🤧
also a lot of this blog is a bunch of reblogs of shit im interested in BUT I DO HAVE OG STUFFFFFF, THEY'RE JUST IN THEIR OWN TAGS U GET ME??? anyways some of the tags!!!
karmaajr rambles -> for everything i post besides answers to asks :3
karmaajr answers ig :D -> answers to asks ^^
important thing for me to tag bcuz yes -> random thing i really wanna save (also im bad at tagging so sometimes thing has an "s" or tag has an "s" lmfao, ITS A RLLY USELESS TAG TO TRY SCROLL THRU ICL.... RLLY DRY AS WELL)
karmas mum mentions :3 -> i like to think this one explains itself yall 😘
daddy's unhinged -> anything about my sweet ol' pops (who totes cares abt me yall) 🥰
my sister and I -> anything my sister is involved in that i actually remember to tag LMFAO
NOT MY ASS MENTIONING PANIK -> me wanting to save things that r to do w my gf 🫶
BTW HIS @ IS @panikbutt0n AND SHE'S MY MAPLE SYRUP CHUGGING 4LIFER AND LITERALLY THE BEST THING SINCE RIPPED BREAD AND I LOVE HER SO SO SO MUCH SO ACC HIT HER UP PLZ 🙏🙏🙏🙏
btw yall, ur homegirl aint no gatekeeper so the group matching pfp thingy is from @tuturthecarvroom 's blog (n they very skibidi sbg art btw so i do reccomend frfr) and mY HEADER IS OFF GOOGLE SEARCH 😍😍
ALSO I AM CURRENTLY MATCHING WITH THE SILLIEST GROUP EVER FRFR, GONNA TRY @ THEM ALL BUT IT'S HARDDD (my memory is the shittiest thing since That One Time my friend shit his trousers on call w me 💪💪💪)
@lee1504 -> BRAINROTTED KING 🙏🙏
@d011zk1ll -> both kind af and somewhat unhinged??? like both "do a good deed to make somebody else's life easier ☺️" AND "im gonna eat a bicycle :p"
@sketchingwithlyn -> JUST THE CHILLEST GUY EVERRRR!!!!
@rot-decay-erosion -> gramps 🧓🏻 (also known as the desendant of our king garfield 😙✨️)
@afrogwhocantdraw -> RESIDENT BENLOR POOKIE
@low-senka -> the brokest senior citezen youve ever met 💔💔💔💔 (yall need to donate to my guy 🥺🥺🥺)
(also the thing below had me stuck looking at it for literally AGES so hehehehehhehehe GET TRAPPED IDIOT!!!!!! >:3!!!!!)
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(dots r fun)
anyways i have no clue what else to write!!! which is weird bcuz im a yapper frfr :D
ANYWAYS LOVE Y'ALL ✨️✨️✨️
WAIT
ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ
.......... ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ
.................... ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ
.............................. ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ
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............................................................ ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ
...................................................................... ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ
THEY 👥 DONT🙅🏼♀️ LOVE 😘 YOU 🫵🏼 LIKE I 👀 LOVE 🥰 YOU 🫵🏼🫵🏼🫵🏼
#karmaajr rambles#important thing for me to tag bcuz yes#karmaajr answers ig :D#karmas mum mentions :3#my sister and i#daddy's unhinged#NOT MY ASS MENTIONING PANIK#anyways please tell me i did good on this yall 🙏🙏🙏🙏#yall i did good right-#PLSSS#CHAT 🙏🙏
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hey, long time no been here. I'm sleepy, but I have something to say
I will abuse google translator a little cause I originally wrote all this in spanish :p
I haven't had energy the last few months. I am currently in a not very good state of mind so I will allow myself to be somewhat negative below.
I have lost interest in continuing with art, or at least the motivation is at the lowest level it has ever been, my only real reason for continuing is because it feeds my family, my pets and me, its reason enough to keep going , I fervently believe. But this doesn't stop me from feeling like I'm not going anywhere, that I'm stuck. Drawing has never been so exhausting, so tiring. I loved it, it may not be a permanent feeling, but currently I do not feel love for my drawings, for my current style, although I like it I feel that it is not mine, that it is not me, that I am not being sincere.
My dream is to reach that level of skill, like the meme, a rookie artist drawing something super rendered and complex and the senior artist drawing the most simplified style possible, I want to be that senior artist x'D.
How socials are treating and overshadowing artists lately also has a lot to add here, to hell with the numbers, I'm not interested in them, I'm not interested in the algorithm, I don't quite understand what it's about, I don't want to be tied down all the time , I want to come and go freely, that's all, I don't enjoy loggin into networks as i used to be.
Sometimes I would like to go back in time, when I felt free to create, when I was looking for to experiment and had fun. Today just thinking about holding a pencil makes me want to run away to the comfort of my bed or go play with my cats or to want to climb a mount and never coming back. And not to mention the damage I have done to my eyes and my hands, sometimes I can't do anything but overdo everything, and therefore hurting me, I foolishly force myself to accomplish deadlines that I have imposed on myself and that I am aware of its a short time.
I'm in a situation where I can't stop drawing, it's my job, I can't simply take a rest. I practically survive with what I earn (which lately is little), prices for many essentials are going up to the stratosphere and beyond (the price for cat food is so ridiculously expensive that I have started opting for homemade food) I have not been able to save anything, if I stop drawing and taking commissions, I don't know what else I could do, looking for alternatives is also tiring. I just want to sleep.
Apathy, that is my current state.
Fatigue.
Drowsiness.
A bottomless abyss, although when I say it out loud it makes me laugh x'D
Going to therapy has crossed my mind, I know there are issues to resolve, but thinking about the absence of money and next month's expenses somehow overlap everything else.
I think there were more things to add, but I can't think anymore.
I will not abandon art, it is clear to me, but if these last few months have been slow (in terms of making art), they will be even more so in the future, so you better do not miss me too much, you have been warned x'D
ty for reading
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I had to restart his save since it got corrupted- which means it’s time for a new ref!!
I’ve committed to the fact that this man dresses like an 80s dad in any modern au.
Tries very hard to read as the ideal paladin, good morals, strong sense of justice n what have you. He is unfortunately full of trauma and identity issues, fear of his god is a HUGE THING and breaking his oath accidentally is a perpetual anxiety too.
I’ve also decided he has the shittiest, patchy ass beard. Usually he’s clean shaven bc he doesn’t like having facial hair but he’s not quite adept enough with a dagger to shave with one and tries exactly once to shave (failing miserably, much to Astarion’s entertainment) before giving up until act 3 when he buys himself a new razor.
I really should draw him holding the blood of lathander more but that mf is agonizing to draw man there are, so many layers to it.
I finally remembered to draw his glasses on his ref, yippee.
I’m making him an actual dnd character sheet so I’ll probably attach that once it’s done
I’m side tracked I’m supposed to be talking about his lore huh
Whoops
Anyway, tw for abandoment (passing mention) emotional abuse, death (of a parent + en masse,) mental illness that’s being ignored, chronic pain and illness (also being ignored until he can’t)
His actual like- lore lore is below the break.
Born in the underdark, his mom fucked off with him bc the underdark isn’t a great place to live generally speaking, and she had the means. His dad decided last minute to stay in the underdark.
Taken in by the temple of lathander in elturel bc his mother was chronically ill and not expecting or able to be making this kind of journey on her own with a very small child. Ended up being moved from the temple to a hospital after it was determined that she probably wasn’t getting better.
Charlie ended up being mostly raised by the temple, went to school there and was taught how to read and write + basic math. But spent most of his free time working to pay for his mother’s (and soon his own) medication.
Turns out the of the myriad of issues his mother delt with (migraines, persistent nausea and dizziness, chronic joint issues) were genetic, so by time he hit puberty he was working his ass off to pay for it.
You may ask me “cake, didn’t that aggravate his joint issues?” Yes. Badly. He was not given any other options, the fact that they were alive at all was a godsend (I use the word godsend intentionally, he believes, strongly, that lathander is keeping him alive for some reason beyond his understanding, that is the root of his devotion.)
Did you order mommy issues? Hope so bc he has them in spades. You can only be hear your dying mom say she regrets saving you life as a literal toddler so many times before it starts fucking you up, and she said it (and other delightful(/sarc) things) plenty in the months leading up to when she died.
Shortly after her death, and suddenly needing to work way less (his medication was significantly cheaper than his mothers) he devoted himself to the temple, and was eventually approached bc some kids he went to school with to see if he wanted to join their little class thing. The temple liked to train their folks in groups of 4, in hopes of building strong teams should they choose to stay together.
He agreed, and found out that the temple would pay for his medication in exchange for dedicating himself fully to his training and his studies (and occasionally them using him as a scout, being small, naturally stealthy, and decently quick had its advantages.)
Took his oath with one of the other people he was trained alongside when he was 17, and they were collectively sent to continue their training at the nearby Fort Morninglord.
Things were solid, until he was sent along with a group of seniors to Baldurs Gate as a sort of test to see how he would do on a longer mission before officially joining the Order of the Aster.
He did well, all things considered. Unfortunately between him leaving and returning is when Fort Morninglord got eaten by the shadowfell for some reason. (That’s a canon event btw)
So, with all his friends presumably dead, maybe worse, and all his shit left inside a heavily guarded, very cursed fort. He did the reasonable thing, and fucked right off.
He ended up joining one of the seniors he went to Baldur’s Gate with in going to Waterdeep, while they didn’t particularly need another paladin. The temple of lathander in Waterdeep accepted them both until they were able to find stable employment.
Charlie mainly did small jobs for merchants, working as a guard for high value stuff, moving cargo on/off boats, mostly physical labour. It didn’t pay particularly well, but he could afford a little room above a tavern, and his medication.
That’s where he was, and how he lived for almost 130 years until he got wormed.
May or may not be blindly devoted to Lathander bc of… all that. literally any bad thing to occur to him is swiftly written off as a test of his faith, surprising to damn near everyone he is not one for converting people. (He definitely reads like he would though, it’s the theology special interest, there are few gods he won’t speak extensively on. He just defaults to lathander)
Fr though? Having trouble finding a god to worship? Ask him, he will give you an answer or more accurately- a list.
Yknow when you sprinkle random facts into your characters to make them less flat? Yeah my man collects maps, particularly outdated ones.
The only reason he’s not fucked post-worm is bc it fends off the worst of his usual symptoms. He has conflicted feelings about it (on one hand, being able to put honey in his coffee and not feel like his brain is exploding is nice, on the other, what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck.)
Post game he is left in a… state. He’s gotten used to life with less pain and is absolutely bedridden for a WHILE bc suddenly he’s being hit with his usual pain n symptoms but he’s not used to it anymore so it’s absolutely destroying him.
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would Ghostface get married/have kids (if so, how many?)
Ghostface(s) when it comes to marriage and kids
I hope you don't mind me writing dbd ghostface, Billy, stu, Mickey altieri. If you wanted any more of the ghostfaces or if you want headcanons on how they would be as dads, feel free to let me know ^<^
Warnings: slight mentions of baby trapping on Jeds part, Canon typical violence (its Ghostface), spoilers for scream 5 on Billy's part
Fem! Leaning Reader, the marriage part could be read as gender neutral though
Jed Olsen
Jed isn't big on the concept of marriage for what most normal people would be when it comes to marriage. (I.E. the love and unification between two people) Jed definitely would use marriage with an significant other as a way to throw off the police for the most part.
A red harring to make profiling the Roseville killer much harder for them. For the most part, I think that Jed isn't keen on having the commitment of marriage because of his passion for being the ghostface.
So marriage with Jed wouldn't be a easy of fun one. You'll barely see him for possibly days on end between his day job and his true love- being ghost face. You would have to either be someone who is the house wife/husband type who asks no questions or the spouse who knows and supports jeds Ghost face passion.
When it comes to having children of his own, jed isn't big on it. Most cases, any pregnancy with jed would be accidental [if you're able to get pregnant] i.e. broken condoms, failed birth control.
On the very rare case that he feels like you're going to find out about his Ghostface passion, you might end up being pregnant as an attempt to keep you from leaving/ blowing his cover.
Kid total he wants: 1, maybe 2
Billy loomis
It's going to take a lot for Billy to want to get married. It's mostly because of his own parents and how their marriage ended.
I do believe that eventually, once Billy becomes more mature with his trauma having to deal with his mother abandoning him and his father not being the best, he might be more open to marriage. Like Jed, Billy might also use marriage as a cover for if he eventually goes back to becoming ghostface.
Ideally, Billy and Stu were never caught as the Woodsboro killers and got away with it, I feel that being married to Billy would feel like you're also in a way married to Stu given how close of a friendship they have with each other. At least with Billy, the marriage would feel more loving rather than you coexisting with a human sized murderous cat.
Although Billy does technically have a daughter, I don't think that he would be in any rush to have kids especially if the case was he just found out about knocking a girl up when he was a senior in high school. He would like to try to get to know the daughter that was hidden from him before he brings any more mini Lomis' into the world.
If we ignore scream 5 and Billy didnt have any children before marrying you, the case of any pregnancy would be most likey be an accidental one (i.e. not pulling out on time, condom broke, failed birth control, forgetting to use protection)
Kid total he wants: 1
Stu Macher
Stu would be one of the ghostfaces who would be into marrying someone for legitimate reasons rather than a alibi.
Out of him and Billy, Stu would be the first one to get married and potentially start a family of his own. Money wouldn't be an issue for him because of his family and his privileged upbringing to be able to be a better husband out of the ghostfaces.
Being married to Stu for the most part is close to a kinda normal marriage you'll get in your situation as the spouse of a Ghostface. Stus worst flaw would be his tendency of threatening you financially if you push too hard on his Ghostface hobby.
Having children with Stu would be one of the more natural things to happen compared to Billy or Jed. Especially if Stu and you have been together for a while.
Stu is also one of the more supportive Ghostface husbands when it comes to helping out with taking care of your shared children/ supporting you through your pregnancy.
Kid total he wants: 2 or 3, he's open to however many you want
Mickey Altieri
Mickey would probably marry you just to further cement his name into being known more for his killings in Windsor. He loves you in his own peculiar way but he also knows how you can help make him even more well known by you being the spouse of him.
Mickey is the only Ghostface that I don't really see a way I can write him to where he fully gets away with being Ghostface without making him out of his character. The most likely scenario is the both of you will end up marrying with before he gets caught or a prison wedding.
Marriage with mickey will be more isolating than marrying Jed because you will be isolated from the public for being the wife of the Windsor Ghostface and the fact your life revolves around seeing Mickey occasionally with the weekly phone calls.
Similar to mickey marrying, he would probably have a child for a similar rason- to keep his name in public. Don't get me wrong, he would love kids with you if you want that too.
Your pregnancy might be before he gets caught or during one of your conjugal visits with Mickey. I just don't think anyone would want you to adopt because of your marriage with mickey.
Kid total he wants: 1, maybe 2 at most
#queendeeshorrorimagines#slasher imagines#slashers imagines#dead by daylight imagines#jed olsen imagines#billy loomis imagine#stu macher imagine#mickey altieri imagine#scream imagine#ghostface imagines#anon request#dees sweet tea#headcanons
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oooo a 5k? Are you a student athlete?is that how you got a full ride?
Yes, but no, but yes, but no.
I've been an althete for my entire school career up until my senior year of highschool, so I guess? Student Athlete?
For a year or so I was a gymnast. (My sister and I did it together, she stayed her entire life, I did not, obviously)
Then for a few years I played T-Ball (recently found out via my mom that I made the front page of the city newspaper because I hit the ball and then felt really bad so I went to go pick it up instead of like....playing the game).
Then I played soccer for, so many years, I couldn't tell you how many, I lost count. (I was offense most of the time, rip my ankles)
I almost did volleyball but chickened out last minute (wouldve been a setter or libero).
Then, being the band kid I was, I joined marching band my freshman year. (ah seven years of playing an instrument leads to this)
Got bored of that so I switched to colorguard for two years which was soooo much more athletically demanding my GAWD. (two years of ✨trauma✨ but I might buy a sabre soon, idk, feeling kinda silly)
And Senior year I did nothing and got a job to fill the void of having way too much freetime for me to know what to do with. How do you guys not do sports? What do you do with all the free time???
So yes, I was a "student athlete," kinda sorta, not really, but sure. If I kept playing I probably could've gotten a music scholarship but I haven't touched that instrument in almost 3 years. Same with maybe a marching band scholarship? Idk if my college does that tbh.
But how I actually got my scholarships? Tests and Parents pfft.
5.2 + 3.98 GPA (dont ask why its not a 4.0, I will literally start crying, went my ENTIRE LIFE with a 4.0 only for the lAsT sEmEsTer of SENIOR YEAR---full disrespect: fuck college Spanish), straight A's MINUS ONE CLASS (if I could fist fight college spanish I so would).
I was a dual enrollment kid so I was half a highschool student and half a college student, shot my GPA through the roof and got me to graduate with my AA the same year I graduated highschool. I was the Jason Todd, loved school, was great at school, never struggled, never studied, etc etc.
SAT scores and ACT scores got me a 75% scholarship to any college I wanted to go to in the area (I was only a few points away from 100% but I was too lazy to try again lmao). Then I got another scholarship for being a military brat. Then I got another one for having parents with post-military issues where I basically get paid to go to school. All of that just combines to a full ride, plus any extra money from the scholarships goes to me which is more than I need so it's in my savings acct.
First two years of college were completely free because I was in the dual enrollment program (free college woo), next three years are free because of multiple scholarships, I just say full ride cuz it's quicker to say and gets the point across.
As for the 5ks: My mom and I like to do them together and do at least one a month. This month we're doing an obstacle 5k where you physically cannot complete it without a buddy or a group. Army crawling under electricity, balancing on things by countering each others weight, ninja warrior wall where your team is at the top to catch you, etc etc.
My family (found moreso than blood) is going as Justice League members because there were too many of us to be the Power Rangers. We're doing another one of these in Dec. and then the 10k version of it next year and then hopefully the 15k version. I know my mom and I want to eventually do a marathon.
My main goal is to complete a triathalon. I've ALWAYS wanted to do one so we're gonna try to do it sometime late next year. Starting with the shorter triathalons and slowly working our way up to the more average/long ones.
Now don't get it twisted, I'm not like, a runner or workout junky. Quite literally the opposite. My mom is a runner and its her therapy. Mine? Meeting new people, getting some sun, getting the body moving, and maybe getting some nice scenary. I do run parts of the races, but for the most part I like a nice brisk walk since its healthier for my body than running (yay chronic pain and stupid ovaries!)
I hate the stereotype that you have to run the whole thing or be super fit to do marathons and races. No?? Anyone who wants to can. The point for me isn't to win or to place, its just to finish and have fun. Do I enjoy having a good time? Hell yea, I beat my time by 10 minutes last solo 5k I did. But I'm also the first person who will happily sacrifice a good time so I can enjoy meeting other racers and walking with them.
The last 5k I did was a forest one (it fucking sucked) where the terrain was sand and there were soooo many branches and hills. I watched a racer sprain their ankle right in front of me so we ended up walking the rest together and I carried them for some bits. So my time was terrible, but hey, I got to meet someone I never would've if I didn't stop---and that's more valuable to me.
#not to mention the 5k my family did where we all turned around to walk with the last racer#he just got out of rehab from a leg injury and had a walker#he just wanted to prove to himself he could complete it#so we walked with him#i carried a flag to shade him#someone had waters#someone had a chair for breaks#i ended up running ahead to the end to gather as many people as i could to cheer him on#when he got to the finish line#he walked without the walker#it was insane#i was sobbing#it was a military 5k so it hit pretty close to home#so that day i did a 15k#time? did not even look#i got to witness that bravery firsthand and got to be a part of it#because i chose to#the winners of the race left#and didn't see it#i think i won that day#he gave a huge speech at the end and said to my entire family and the crowd we gathered#that he never wouldve finished without the support system#and my god#i was weeping like a baby#snotty mess#so yea#athletic but not really#asks
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An academic at Lancaster University describes how family struggles in businesses can resemble House of the Dragon.
Though modern laws make sibling rivalries much more civilised (siblings don’t usually kill each other, nor do they have dragons), there are still many similarities between throne-claiming and today’s family battles over business leadership – especially when multiple siblings are involved. As a lecturer in entrepreneurship and strategy, I use the show – a prequel to Game of Thrones that sees siblings fighting to inherit their father’s throne – to illustrate the complications in family business succession. When succession of leadership in a business becomes an issue, it is important for the family to be clear about their direction. Important, and often difficult, conversations around which legacy, as well as the methods to achieve it, need to be agreed by all family members.
Yep, Viserys really muddled things despite his stated desire to have Rhaenyra succeed him. Things need to be free of ambiguity.
The issue of succession is known to contribute to tension in famous family businesses, as seen with the Murdoch family. As one of the most prevalent forms of business worldwide, family businesses could certainly try to avoid conflict – and, in HotD’s case, a kingdom dispute – if successions were handled more carefully. In the show, King Viserys I Targaryen, played by Paddy Considine, is not a bad ruler, but when it came to succession planning there was so much more he could have done. By the time he had announced his daughter Rhaenyra (played by Emma D'Arcy) as heir, it was perceived that this decision was taken out of desperation, due to there being no male heir. Family business leaders typically have a stronger sense of ownership of the firm than non-family employees, which sometimes leads them to keep hold of leadership. While this is human nature, it is important for family business leaders, like kings are to their kingdoms, to remember their responsibility to the businesses’ prosperity and stability and to have a clear Plan B. The accession of an heir in a family business often sparks wide discussions, like in the case of Alexandre Arnault of luxury goods conglomerate LVMH. He was recently appointed at just 32 years old as deputy CEO of the group’s wines and spirits business Moët Hennessy. In the case of the heir Rhaenyra in HotD, her half-brother challenged her legitimacy to the throne, with strong support from stakeholders, (that is to say, the lords in the show) who believed that a son would make a more legitimate heir. In a family business, successors often need to legitimise their position and get the senior managers (like the lords in HotD), employees, and other stakeholders like customers (the “smallfolk” in the show), to accept the transition.
Sexism can have a pernicious influence on succession and ultimately the company (or kingdon).
Women’s influence in the family and its business can sometimes go unrecognised. This could be particularly tricky in situations where multiple siblings (and even wives) are in competition, like the Majid Al Futtaim (MAF) retail and leisure empire, where ten family members had claims on the estate. Sibling rivalries and the challenge of female legitimacy in family business succession take centre-stage in HotD. The complex dynamics between heirs vying for power and the struggles faced by women in leadership roles echo the real-world tensions that often unfold in family-owned businesses.
Season 3 of HotD may not be ready until 2026. To pass the time, keep an eye on House Murdoch headed by 93-rear-old Paramount Lord Rupert.
Murdoch loses bid to change trust in real-life 'Succession' battle
#game of thrones#house of the dragon#business#succession#bingbing ge#power struggle#ród smoka#дім дракона#龙之家族#la maison du dragon#آل التنين#juego de tronos#a guerra dos tronos#a casa do dragão#la casa del dragón#ड्रैगन का घर#ejderha evi#haus des drachen#gia tộc rồng#בית הדרקון#σπίτι του δράκου#하우스 오브 드래곤#lohikäärmeen talo#isang kanta ng yelo at apoy#ڈریگن ہاؤس#drakono namai#rod draka#ハウス・オブ・ザ・ドラゴン#হাউস অফ দ্য ড্রাগন#дом дракона
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Some notes regarding pro 3D, accumulated by yours truly:
For the love of god, learn basic things like topology, edge flow, polygonal modelling and subdiv, because jesus christ, that's like the basicest of basic stuff, and if you can't understand it - it's high time to learn it. Learn modifiers too, they are usually almost 1 to 1 identical in function from software to software. Cloth sim and sculpting are cool and all, but the old ass modelling methods are still alive and kicking and they are the most required things ever. I mean yeah, you can sculpt yourself smth and be like "here i made this hard surface armor", but bruv, you have to retopo it now like a dumbass and you have to spend even more time torturing yourself, esp if you don't know the basics and if you get feedbacked from the higher ups. Better spend time to learn topology now to just speedrun things later. And it's not as destructive. Easy. Fast. No bullshit. GOOD GEOMETRY IS KING. If you want to go gamedev or vfx, it's not enough to be good at sculpting and design (unless you have a dedicated person for the technical stuff), it's important to have a solid base.
Learn where to cut corners. Do not half ass where you shouldn't half ass, half ass where it's not necessary for things to be perfect. Learn how to spot these opportunities. Half assing saves time and effort, but only when you're capable of it and only if you are experienced in it. It's not always that you'll be asked to do immaculate perfect things - more often than not you'll be asked specifically for half assing, to save on time and costs.
Learn how to do uvs, seriously. Learn how to make straight grid islands for optimization. Learn about the texel density and how to make use of most space available. Learn about overlapping.
For the love of everything that is holy, BE INDEPENDENT. Learn to see, like legit, learn it, it's a skill of its own: spot the shapes, spot the volumes, the sizes, distances, angles, curves, everything. Learn how to see errors yourself, learn how to apply feedback. Learn to read and listen! If you don't understand something, don't be afraid to ask again to clarify. As a lead, I can only suggest you to change certain things to look better and review your stuff to allow you to go to the next stage; if you can't see issues yourself, and I have to guide you and give you feedback every iteration - it's easier for me to take over and do things myself. Well, fair enough, there are cases where guiding and feedbacking every iteration is valid, but these cases a extremely rare. I had to give so much feedback in the past few weeks, I'm legit nearly fucking dying: feedback this, explain that, overpaint everything, chew out the concept and spit it out for modelers... And it takes hours, and I've a ton of shit to model and texture myself, and there are SEVERAL PROJECTS I HAVE TO DEAL WITH. And in the end, when I had to take over, I just completely remade the assets from scratch, cuz no way in hell I'm shipping the jank.
Take time to get to know your software. Do bullshit. Press buttons. Make it crash. Just know where's where and what does what. Don't make your seniors give you step by step explanation of how to work in any given software.
Learn how to bake properly. This is like the easiest shit, but I swear people be just not seeing errors in their bakes, and I have to pixelfuck, pinpointing issues. If one baker sucks, go to the other, and then other, or try to adjust your model, try cage, anything. Last time i had an issue with bakes, I tried it both in SP and Blender. And I had my lead try bakes in the new SP. Guess what? In desperation I went to xNormal, and fuck me it blew me away, baking things exactly as I wanted them. Old as hell and reliable as well. Pay attention to the normal map format, pay attention to the coordinates! Pay attention to a good looking ambient occlusion. If something doesn't bake right away, feel free to make a composite map of several bakes.
Learn to hear and to read feedback. Learn to apply it. Do not disregard anything. If you're a scatterbrain, use lists to keep track of everything. If you don't understand something - it's fine to clarify information.
It's okay to have questions and doubts, and do not hesitate to voice anything. It's even better if you have a shitton of questions. The more questions you ask, the more confident we are in you. Please, don't present yourself as a super-duper-hella-pro-9000 with 1mil years of experience and complete understanding of how the universe works and why - this guarantees you are seen as ignorant and instantly sets off red flags.
Language is important, google translate can only help you so much. You should be able to comprehend the common lango, at the very least have some writing and reading skills. At best you should be able to listen to people talk and you should be able to understand the spoken words.
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ENTRY #7
Hey people,
It's 12:53AM, and I have been working for the past hour like a lunatic. I was in a very stressful situation, earning a phone call to my work bestie - Jade just to rant and blow off some steam.
I love the people I work with in production, but it's not always cupcakes and rainbows, if anything it's more coffee and the feeling of impending doom waiting to be unleashed at any given time. (Okay fine, that was exaggerated) But in reality, my line of work puts much pressure on employees like me and my colleagues.
There's a lot to unpack here, but the best example I could give you of my work dynamic is the plot of The Devil Wears Prada. Except it's with less fashionable people (but equally fabulous nonetheless). Instead of getting Miranda Priestly — I work with people who are closer to my age and have a different view on work relationships than the old-fashioned "I'm your boss and I'm going to ruin your life" narrative (Oh thank God it's 2024, and a good year for some character development).
I love the people I work with in production, they're actually one of the reasons why I could even stand this job. I don't want to sound like any other 20-something-year-old, ranting about how she hates her job and wishes she could quit but can't for reasons a, b, and c. But the thing is, as glamorous as it does sound working for TV Production, it's just as hectic and stressful as any other corporate job (maybe even more tbh). I hear my peers who work outside of my industry say that my workload is insane and that it's definitely not for everyone. And I agree with that, so many newbies in the company just come and go (not even staying for 3 months) because it gets too much too soon, especially on bad days. And as for my batch, we're already considered the seniors in the program since we've lasted for more than a year (which comes as a surprise to others, because on the regular —most employees last between a few weeks to only 3 months).
I get it, working in TV is not like your typical job and requires so much more out of you than the regular employee. We don't get to clock out, and we don't have the privilege to enjoy holidays or weekends. We only get free time when all our deliverables are done, but we can only do so much in so little time that before we even know it —we're already starting another production week for the next airing. So now that I've painted that picture, let me take you back to the present time.
I was ranting on the phone with Jade about a very common issue in our job and that's the hassle of scheduling the shoots. Just because one has a shoot, doesn't exempt him/her from her other duties to attend like weekly meetings for pitching and post morts (especially for other programs). You have to find a way to make things work for you because each show is like an independent company — they have no business with each other, therefore, they act like the other doesn't exist. So when you're in the middle of scheduling tasks, meetings, and shoots, they will not coddle you just to accommodate the other show. It's either you find a way to be there and fulfill your obligations, or you're not doing your job right. (Even if they schedule meetings at the same time, it doesn't mean it's okay for you to present in one and absent in the other). So whatever it takes, even if you need to split yourself in half, you do it.
And right as I finished my task for the night, there was a sudden shift in my mood. I felt like I was in a higher vibration all of a sudden. It was so noticeably different how I was ranting and in a bad mood one minute, and I was grateful and content the next. It was so unusual that it prompted me to write this blog right now. I don't know what it is, but I have a very good feeling that better days are coming. I can really feel like a good change is on its way, and I feel like I will be receiving blessings upon blessings.
I am just in a good mood despite the heaping amount of work I know I have to get into really early in the morning. I don't know if this is like a preview or a sign that things are finally going to go my way, but I just can't shake off the sense of relief, the overwhelming joy, and the hope that things are finally going to turn for the better.
So I guess the only goal of this blog is to remind you that even if things are not going in your favor, in a split-second God can change it all around and you will be grateful.
Till next time my loves!
Love and light,
Zoey na randomly optimistic
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Pokémon Violet has Transcended Embarrassment
*Played in November 2022, Written in December 2022
Pokémon Violet does a surprising amount well. I still think it has a ways to go both as a Pokémon game and as an open world game, but it's still head and shoulders above what I expected and honestly MOST Pokémon games. I didn't presume much because this was rushed, but that's really not a new issue. This franchise is categorically rushed at this point. The last new batch that was actually finished cooking was Generation 5, and those are what I would classify as outliers.
You can look at games like Pokémon Platinum and Emerald and view them as easy cash grabs because dumb kids will buy the same game twice without reservation. I didn't buy Platinum when I was 11 because I thought I was getting grifted. "Why would I buy ANOTHER version of Pokémon Pearl?", "That game was awesome! There's not much to improve on", "I'm not gonna save up my allowance just so I can get a third option for a fire type" were the thoughts I had on the matter. It was after returning to Pokémon in my senior year of high school, when I replayed every Pokémon Generation, where the illusion shattered before my eyes. Pokemon Pearl...is really slow. Every action you take in that game is as slow as a Shuckle. It has the lowest speed stat of any Pokémon game by far. I didn't realize it before, because my perception of time was suspect when I was a preteen, but that game was not optimized at all. It wasn't recycling the same product, it was charging for the completed version. It's a patch, you put up money to get. That doesn't make it excusable really, but at the end of the day I'd rather a finished version of a game exist than not.
It probably wouldn't have been good to market it as Pokemon Diamond and Pearl: Actually finished edition, but it would have made it clearer to me as a consumer what was on the table. That's pretty much what they tried to do with Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon a decade later, but the complete versions of those games just happened to be worse than the betas. Plus, it's not like there is no precedent in the series for transparent updates that should have been there at release. It's just that most people don't know about them. The versions Pokémon that were released world wide had drastically better sprites and a few bug fixes to boot when compared the original Pokémon Red and Green. And even then, every version of Generation 1 is still full of holes. Pokemon, at its bare foundation, is a franchise that is OK churning out products that could use another year of development. Games like Yellow Version and Crystal looking back were honestly the only ones I'd consider pure cash grabs. Pokémon Yellow didn’t fix much from Red V2 and Blue. Gold and Silver were more or less complete. Ruby and Sapphire though, while they weren’t egregious in any way, the lack of post game content left them feeling like they were hurried in development, especially compared to the previous games' massive post game. This makes Emerald feel necessary in retrospect. People whine and cry about the lack of battle frontier for a reason. It wasn't just an additional thing, it completed the experience.
Platinum was the first case where a fix was implemented mainly for technical reasons rather than content ones. And because of those technical kinks being ironed out, the rest of Gen 4 and Gen 5 were as polished as the series has ever been. Then Pokémon X and Y happened. And while the performance wasn't an issue, it certainly had the same problem of feeling like a ton was left on the cutting room floor. Gen 6 is probably the most reviled generation of Pokémon and I can't help but think that's because A) they really are the worst games, and B) they had no “patch release” to fix any of its problems. I have fond memories of Gen 6, but that's because I had too much free time on my hands and they made EV training and online battling painless. The games themselves I've beaten twice and don't remember any of. It's the essentials with no flourishes, and as much as people would have welcomed another version with some meat on it's bones, a Pokémon Z would never happen. Sun and Moon had a dearth of content and a surplus of technical issues. An update for that game felt more necessary than in Gen 6. And like I said before in Ultra Sun and Moon’s case, they barely fixed anything and made that story worse and added content that was bad.
This marked the end of the "Third Version" era. If the things added just detract from the game, then why bother making them at all? Downloadable Content always seemed like the obvious route for Pokémon to go, but was never feasible due to the hardware. Any extra content they can't add on release, can just be developed later and sold for the price of not an entirely new game. Things like performance and bugs can be fixed in updates as well. So there's no real need to buy an entirely new version. Sword and Shield came out, lacked content, but announced DLC to make up for that lack of content. The DLC was decent, but that didn't really sway public opinion about the game itself. Its legacy is that of a paint by numbers poké. This is all based off the osmosis of opinions I absorbed from the circles I hang around in. Still haven't touched them myself. It's getting to the point where I'm about to play Sword and Shield for the sake of having my own opinion on it when I spend far too long developing context for these essays. It's agonizing having this gaping fissure in my Pokémon knowledge, but those games do look painfully mediocre, so I have no drive to try them.
People can look back at Gen 4 and think fondly of it because while it was initially a slog, it was improved later. Not just because it was optimized, but because the adventure itself was tweaked to be improved. DLC fixes the amount of content that can be contained in the game, but it does nothing to fix the distribution of said content. The main journey is still underwhelming and no additional content will change that. The third version wasn't just a patch, it was a second shot. There are design decisions and story beats which can be tweaked. Changes that would be awkward if done via an update. No matter how polished an addendum is, it can't make up for a rough draft being so rough. And that's what I was worried about for the new games. Because I knew they would be drafts just like almost all Pokémon games initially are.
Pokémon Violet has issues. It has spelling mistakes. It has busted grammar. It has misused vocabulary words. But it's still coherently formed and carefully crafted. It just turned in its work without using spell check. The base game is strong and nothing about it is broken. It's just kind of embarrassing, but the game confidently shrugs it off. Violet is populated with glitches, but the only one that really matters is the memory leak one after a long play session. Violet has extremely rough looking animations, but you will get over it and not really care after a few hours. The indoor exploration feels like a cheap visual novel, but that ends up being a small percentage of play time. Violet has low fidelity graphics, but the art direction more than makes up for it.
It might be because I played them back to back, but Pokemon Violet reminds me a lot of Sonic Frontiers. It's not Broken and Embarrassing like Sonic 06; It's not Broken, but polished on surface level like Sonic Lost World; It's just Embarrassing sometimes. And that’s funny. Most of the wild bugs you find in the game are things you laugh at and move on from and Violet is the same way. I'm not condoning games lacking polish, but I really can't get too upset at it. The only true killer is performance slowing down the pace of battles to near Gen 4 rates, and that is something I would call a major issue. Especially after how quick it was in Pokémon Legends Arceus which released in the same year.
I'm of two minds about this. Yes, they should give the game more time so that it's polished and presentable. I don't want to support smooth brained upper management and I wouldn't say I PREFER things to look awful, but when you change your perspective you can appreciate how hysterical this game turned out. We're at a point where Pokémon is unstoppable and the vote with your wallet approach is futile. So all I can do is be happy with the product being good enough. And yea, this is good enough. Probably the best Nu Pokemon game, an age bracket I’m gonna say extends from Gen 6 and onward. Not sure I can say it’s better than any of the old ones though. Why? Because they are far different experiences with different goals. Old Pokémon games were about building your team and overcoming obstacles. These new ones are about exploring and finding your favorites. There's probably more challenge here than in any from the past decade, but I still had to really try to not be over leveled. I was training like 20 Pokémon at the same time here, and caught 300 by the time I got to the credits. It's a middle ground between a traditional Pokémon and a Legends game. Which makes it not great at either. There's no satisfaction in overcoming anything, but exploration isn't as smooth as in Arceus. There's just...more of it. I remember areas in Arceus because they were smaller and had land marks and locations where only certain things happened. Violet is just larger and more connected, but it has the same motifs spaced out further. This game lacks interesting locales and events, and while the things you do are fun, I'd rather just do them in Legends where it's faster. It does nothing old better. Battling and catching is not what you go to Pokémon Violet for if you want the pinnacle of those activities.
The new it brings to the table is the best part though. Multiplayer works. Just being able to point out where things are to people and experiencing new Pokémon in stereo is the most magical part of this game. The synchronous wonder you feel during unions do a lot to enhance the feeling of adventure. It wears off once you're near the end of the game and things are inherently less exciting, but it's still relatively seamless and only additive. It starts to feel like a MMO. But instead of massive it's micro. People have been asking for a Pokémon MMO since the dawn of high speed internet access, and while it's not there yet, it's at least something.
The story is also the best the franchise has had due to its approach. Instead of 1 story arc that takes itself far too seriously and takes too long to tell, you are given 3 story arcs with a final one at the end. Each story arc is easy to follow and character driven, endearing you to the setting and cast. All 3 are genuinely touching tales. And when things started to pop off and get serious at the end, I was more engaged in learning the outcome more than other Pokémon games aside from maybe Sun and Moon. I can attribute a lot of the strengths of this story to those games as well, but they’re held back by linear structure and can feel like you are getting pelted by story at all times. In Violet, no storyline feels like they are interrupting your adventure because you can do them at your own pace. I liked this game about as much as Moon, but I will never replay that game. The story is far too obtrusive. So I have to prefer Violet just based on how much replay value it has, not just because the story is structured better, but because I'm certain my next play through will be FAR different.
The non-linearity is yet another thing this game brings to the table. A lot of people were bothered that this game doesn't have level scaling for gyms and other equivalent goals. I expected them to do this so you can do things in any order you want. But they didn't and it was a great decision, because now it feels like I’m breaking the rules by doing things out of order. It feels more free when there are structures you can surmount. I liked doing gyms out of order in the first two Gens and this is the logical extension of that. Having the challenges curve with badge amount makes it feel like you've been placed in a bounding box and would make it impossible to attempt to punch above your weight class. Personally, I think it's good for players to have the freedom to get bodied by lv 30 Pokémon near the beginning of the journey. It builds character.
Having a variety of goals also helps break Pokémon out of its linear structure. You can swap between storylines whenever and in any order you like. And each one gives different rewards. If you prioritize movement, you take on titan sized Pokémon to get traversal upgrades. If you want higher level Pokémon to obey you, take on gyms. If you want a wider variety of attacks for your Pokémon, you take on Team Star. The path the player walks along is not driven entirely by curiosity, but by implementing a system that supports prioritizing some modular aspects over others. Players who beat the game will end up at the same place, with the same abilities, but with a different story. Pokémon has sort have always been that way. Everyone becomes champion with a different team that you bonded with along the way, with their own tale of how they succeeded in each challenge. But now that those challenges have no order, there's an even greater variance the narrative you can craft.
I wish this game was finished. I want there to be free updates that enhance performance and fix memory leaks. I want there to be DLC with more to explore. But I do not want a third version. Because the bones of this game are strong and Game Freak is really onto something.
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Blog Tour & Arc Review: Game On by Seressia Glass
Welcome to the Game On book tour with Berkley Publishing Group. (This blog tour post is also posted on my Wordpress book blog Whimsical Dragonette.)
Publishing Date: December 12, 2023
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Synopsis:
When an unexpected Player Two enters her life, a gamer must decide if their relationship is worth leveling up in this new romance from the author of The Love Con. Samara Reynolds has built a large following as a gamer under an anonymous screen name, and uses her skills as a DEIA consultant to advocate for equal representation in video games. When she posted a video critiquing the popular game Legendsfall, she knew she’d get a reaction from her fans, but the video leads to hundreds of female gamers critiquing the game and its company, Artemis Games. The only thing more unexpected than starting an online movement is getting a job offer from the handsome CEO of Artemis. Aron Galanis has been on a mission to get his company certified to create gaming content for people with disabilities. When he sees Artemis trending online for all the wrong reasons, he’s determined to right his wrongs and offers the originator a mea culpa, as well as a job offer to overhaul the character options in Legendsfall. Working together turns Aron and Samara from adversaries into allies, allies into friends, and after that—something more. But once their relationship goes public, will Aron and Samara be able to weather the storm and fight for their happy ending, or is it game over?
Author Bio:
Seressia Glass is an award-winning author of urban fantasy, contemporary romance and paranormal romance. Her current series include the Shadowchasers urban fantasy series and the Sons of Anubis paranormal romance series. Seressia lives south of Atlanta with her guitar-wielding husband and two bulldozer cane corsos and a senior poodle. When not working on her next story, Seressia spends her free time watching way too much anime and Kdramas.
author photo from goodreads
My Rating: ★★★
*My Review below the cut.
My Review:
I enjoyed this but unfortunately not as much as I was hoping to. I think it was trying to do too much and so everything felt a bit shallow and glossed over. The diversity in gaming issue is a much needed take but it was occasionally a little too on-the-nose and I got tired of Samara constantly having to explain what things are like for women - especially women of color- in gaming to Aron. Yes, he is horrified and immediately takes action, but it's the fact that it has to be explained over and over because he is consistently oblivious that bugs me. It's realistic, but it gets old, maybe because its *too* realistic. The romance was wonderful. Samara and Aron instantly clicked and they were so cute together, especially in their casual gaming personas. Hoodie guy was adorable and I totally understood why Samara fell for him so quickly. The autistic brother storyline was a little odd to me in some ways. I wholeheartedly approve of Samara's interactions with Benjy and Aron's protectiveness of him. But I find it odd that Aron has all these "quirks" like hating to be touched and not being able to take crowds or loud noises and not understanding social cues AND a nonverbal autistic brother and yet there's not even a whisper of a suggestion that he might also be autistic / on the spectrum? That felt like a missed opportunity. I also thought the Mark issue was handled really oddly. Mark only appears a couple of times, always being all intimidating and trying to steamroll over Aron, when he finally is dealt with I found the entire interaction confusing. His rant was incomprehensible and I'm not sure if that was intentional or just clunky writing. I also found the writing throughout to be clunky and choppy and full of telling not showing. There were a lot of info dumps, especially about the prejudice and racism and sexism Samara faces. The emotions and tone of the characters also sometimes bounced around wildly in ways that felt soap opera levels of Overly Dramatic. It felt almost like a draft that needed more polishing and smoothing out. I really liked all the characters, and I wish we had seen more of Grayson because he was such a good and interesting character. While I had some issues with the book I did overall enjoy it very much and I will be seeking out more of Seressia Glass' books in the future. *Thanks to NetGalley and Berkley for providing an early copy for review.
#berkley romance#romance#netgalley#blog tour#arc review#shilo reads#game on#seressia glass#book review
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PINNED POST
one piece oc blog for GALAPAGOS, the LAST ANYAGI.
hi my name is nami!! i'm 21, and a freelance animator!! honestly basic rp etiquette applies, just please don't be a dick or bring drama here. i'm here to have fun and write this magic goat!!
Extended Rules + Basic Bio Below Cut
don't be a dick! it's pretty simple, don't be rude. if there's an issue, please just come to me and tell me so we can get it resolved!!
if you want to break mutuals please hard block! i have a terrible memory and things often pass straight by me, so i often forget soft blocking happened OR given tumblr is glitchy as fuck i assume it was a glitch rather than a purposeful soft block. i will do the same c:
IF I DO HARD BLOCK YOU!! it's not because i hate you, i promise, it's probably just because i don't see writing combability or for my own comfort. it's really nothing against you c:
i am terrible at plotting at first, if i have no ideas i will sit and stare until something EVENTUALLY forms in my brain. so you'll have to be a little patient with me if i don't figure out a plot immediately :')
i have many brainrots and a bunch of other blogs that i jump between, plus i'm a fulltime art student who is in their senior year!! so activity is sporadic as fuck!! so it doesn't mean i don't want to interact with you if i don't reply witnin a week, it just means i'm busy. i ask you be patient with me when it comes to replies. in the past i've held onto this want to never drop anything and discovered that's really unhealthy!! i will let you know if i drop something.
if you come off as extremely clingy immediately i might block. i want to be friends with the people i'm writing with, yes, but in the past(both irl and on tumblr) i've had people get really latched onto me really fast and it's pretty uncomfortable if the vibe ain't there!! please respect my boundaries, thank you!!
i use they/it pronouns. recently i've been really settling on my own identity, which has been leaning further and further into it/its!! i'm really excited my brain is finally giving me something i'm satisfied with so!! yeah!! other names i've gone by in the past are gremlin, pterodolphin, or king. feel free to call me any of those, or just nami!! or make something up if you want, frankly i love the nicknames they're fun af.
i don't do passwords most the time, but trust me, if i follow you, i have read your rules and probably will read them 20 more times because i myself get paranoid about breaking rules so :') i've read them, i'm just most the time not a password sender.
this blog is technically a dual oc blog with my girlfriend(kittu)'s oc charlotte twist!! for now, twist is on hiatus, but when/if kittu ever decides she wants to write twist on here, twist will be available :3 but at the moment it's just me(nami) and galapagos!
More tbd probably if i need them.
BIO
name: galapagos nickname(s): gala, goat gender: female identifying age: 1013 (physically 13) species: anyagi height: 3'8"
role: sailor/traveler
abilities: Despite not being able to consume a devil fruit without dying, Galapagos possesses the natural, and rare, ability to grow plants within moments. In addition, she is also able to make a plant die, by either reversing the growth of a plant or forcing a plant to grow too much, ending a plant’s life early. However, with careful training, this “ too much ” can be settled to be able to let a plant grow past it’s full potential. Galapagos is also able to communicate with plants. In addition, she is able to burrow through any sort of soil and be able to hold her breath for upwards of an hour if not caught out of nowhere or being slammed underwater. Given her weightlessness as an Anyagi, she is incapable of dying from falling, given she will simply float down. Anyagi possess the ability to sacrifice their life to grow an entirely new devil fruit, Galapagos does have this ability.
history: Galapagos was born to Abdraecilius and Evangeline, two young adults within the Anyagi tribe. She was born roughly 900-1000 years prior to the main timeline. However, after a strange instinct, Galapagos went missing, when in reality she had simply gone into hibernation deep within Hoarfrost’s soil. By the time she awakened from her slumber, a new time had come and the entirety of the Anyagi tribe aside from her had been extinguished. In addition to most of the villages on the island. Presently, Galapagos had scavenged her own village for any remnants of her tribe being alive, only finding a few weapons, including what she uses now--a gun with a black blade attached--and then went off on a journey to find other anyagi...despite most likely being gone.
other: Galapagos often tells people she is a mink unless she really trusts someone, then she'll be a little more open about what she really is. Galapagos will always trust giants. Galapagos has a seed bag, this has seeds from Hoarfrost as well as everywhere she travels. She uses these seeds in case of emergency, using her ability to grow them fully. galapagos has a stutter.
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for the prompts: NMJ/JC - Everyone with a functioning brain cell can see that JC just needs someone to tell him he’s doing a good job. And if WWX isn’t stepping up? Well, NMJ definitely will. (Preferably smut and/or fluff) Thank you! ❤️
Compliments - ao3
It started in anger, out of spite.
Traditionally, the world took this to be a bad thing, but in all honesty the vast majority of projects in the Nie sect were started that way – they inherited fiery tempers and spiteful personalities from their ancestors along with their saber cultivation traditions – and it didn’t always turn out badly. There were any number of buildings, techniques, or technological innovations in the Unclean Realm that had started life as a furious fuck you to someone and only turned into something worthwhile about halfway through, once the person involved had calmed down enough to think about what they were doing, realize they were already committed, and then shrug and carry on forward because there was no point in stopping a charge midway.
What Nie Mingjue meant was: there was precedent.
He liked to think it started with Jiang Fengmian, but if Nie Mingjue was being honest with himself, it started back in the Unclean Realm when Nie Huaisang had told him, quite casually over dinner, that he thought that the female cultivator in his class was very pretty and that he’d be happy to marry her.
“Uh,” Nie Mingjue had said, very intelligently. “Huaisang, you’re seven.”
Nie Huaisang had not seen the problem. Instead, he explained very forthrightly that it was only right that he start thinking early on about his marriage, as getting married and having children would be his great contribution to the sect on account of being useless good-for-nothing unfit for anything else –
“Wait,” Nie Mingjue said. “Who told you that?!”
Nie Huaisang claimed he had deduced it.
Nie Mingjue claimed that Nie Huaisang was full of bullshit, and also that he wasn’t good-for-nothing even if he wasn’t good at saber, and anyway even if he was a total good-for-nothing he was still Nie Mingjue’s good-for-nothing and no one had better say a single damn word against him or Nie Mingjue would bite them.
“I meant stab them!” he explained, far too late; Nie Huaisang was already rolling around laughing to the point of tears. “I have a saber. I can stab people! I’m actually very scary, you know!”
Nie Huaisang hadn’t believed him one bit and had carried on, seemingly at peace and forgetting everything, but Nie Mingjue had gone seeking advice from all of his elders and counselors and the more dependable senior disciples of his sect, abruptly terrified that he was permanently damaging Nie Huaisang by raising him the wrong way or something. Didn’t children need encouragement at that age? Weren’t they all young and tender peaches liable to be bruised at the slightest glance or young sprouts that needed to be sheltered from the harsh wind lest they grow up crooked?
Everyone assured him that children were hardier than they appeared, flexible and capable of bouncing back from just about anything. He'd pressed, though, pointing out that even the most flexible wood would eventually form a crack in the face of a vicious hurricane, and in the end they'd admitted that it was better to avoid applying too much pressure at too young an age, that a child squeezed too hard or not hard enough might develop neuroses that would hinder them in the future.
They mostly tried not to look at him when they said that, presumably thinking to themselves that Nie Mingjue was little more than a child himself and had already been subject to the worst pressures possible, which would undoubtedly result in who knows what future issues, but he hadn’t paid that part any mind. As far as he was concerned, his life was already a loss – he had sworn to take revenge for his father, to make that ancient monster Wen Ruohan pay with his life for what he had done and furthermore he'd sworn to pay back the blood debt in full before any of that burden passed to Nie Huaisang.
Letting Nie Huaisang grow up happy – that was what mattered.
Letting him be insulted when Nie Mingjue wasn’t looking played no part in that plan. If Nie Huaisang were going to be insulted, let it be by outsiders who he wouldn’t need to care about! Within their Nie sect, at minimum, he should be doted upon and honored, or else those responsible would have to explain themselves to Nie Mingjue.
Those dark thoughts still lingering in his mind, he had gone to the Lotus Pier for a discussion conference, and that, perhaps, was where it really started.
Rumor had already made the entire cultivation world aware that Jiang Fengmian had found the orphaned son of Cangse Sanren and Wei Changze, and that he had taken him into his home as his ward, allowing him to become a Jiang sect disciple – treating him almost as one of the family, even. That much was known, so it didn’t come as much of a surprise when Jiang Fengmian proudly introduced him or even more proudly showed him off, praising him to the high heavens.
What did come as a surprise was how little he praised his own son standing beside him, despite them being only a few days apart in age. It was as if Jiang Fengmian had simply forgotten that such a creature existed, much less that he had himself contributed to its spawning, and the constant looks of hope – invariably crushed – the child sent him made it clear that the present situation had been going on for some time.
Fuck you, Nie Mingjue thought, seeing red, seeing instead Nie Huaisang in his failed saber classes, struggling so desperately to keep up with the rest even though his body wouldn’t allow for it, being told he was useless and a good-for-nothing and fit for nothing but marriage. Fuck you, Jiang Fengmian.
He couldn’t say that, of course.
So instead he said, “Excellent stance,” to the child, who'd received the courtesy name Wanyin but seemed to be universally called Jiang Cheng. “Do you know the others in the set?”
Jiang Cheng, staring at him, very slowly nodded, and demonstrated them.
“Absolutely perfect,” Nie Mingjue said loudly, drawing attention to himself with his over-loud voice that everyone would automatically forgive on account on him being both a Nie and a young man. “You can see how hard you’ve worked at it, and it has paid off handsomely. You are very lucky in your son, Sect Leader Jiang.”
“…thank you,” Jiang Fengmian said, a little bemused at being interrupted. He’d been talking yet again about Wei Wuxian’s brilliance at picking up the sword again after years of living on the streets without practice, even though at the moment the smiling boy's admittedly impressive skills were still largely wild and undisciplined.
Nie Mingjue nodded, and said: “When exactly did you say the opening festivities would be starting?”
Jiang Fengmian had clearly forgotten about that in his enthusiasm, so he quickly hurried back to the actual subject at hand and the discussion conference was started in earnest.
It was almost enough to allow Nie Mingjue to forget the matter and put it behind him.
Or, it would have been, if only Jiang Fengmian hadn’t continued to insert praise for Wei Wuxian at every possible instance – it was as if he were the man’s first-born son, rather than another person’s child.
Irritated beyond belief, Nie Mingjue started complimenting Jiang Cheng every time Jiang Fengmian said something nice about Wei Wuxian, and he made sure to keep his compliments accurate: he was a hard worker, dedicated and sincere, thoughtful, clever, not overly arrogant…
“Wei Wuxian came up with his own ideas for a sword style already,” Jiang Fengmian claimed at one point. “You can see him on the training ground now, practicing it – take a look!”
Nie Mingjue picked up a stone and flicked it over with his fingers, making Wei Wuxian jump half a chi into the air and nearly fall on his ass.
“Weak foundation, and he over-commits,” he analyzed dryly, because it was true, and because no one else was saying it. He didn't make it any harsher than it had to be: he had nothing against the boy himself, of course; it was only that he knew from experience that it was much easier to be the one being complimented than the one not. “He’s got his head so high in the clouds that his feet are barely touching the ground – the weakest fierce corpse would knock him flat as a pancake with a childish style like that. He’d be better off sticking with orthodox or he’ll end up in real trouble one day.”
“Sect Leader Nie, really,” Jiang Fengmian said disapprovingly. “He’s only nine.”
“Old enough to pick up bad habits,” Nie Mingjue retorted. “Your son’s the same age and he’s as steady as a rock. If Jiang Cheng keeps going as he is, he’ll have a strong enough base to outlast the fiercest storm.”
“A rock has no imagination,” Jiang Fengmian said, and was he actually arguing that his son was inferior? Out loud, in front of outsiders? Did the man have no shame? “Mingjue, you’re young, but you must know that my Jiang sect prizes freedom and creativity as the highest virtue –”
“Would you rather build a house using a firework or a foundation stone?” Nie Mingjue asked, doing his best not to outwardly bristle at the condescendingly intimate use of his name by someone who might be technically his elder but legally his equal. “Tell me, Fengmian, does your Jiang sect’s acclaimed ‘freedom’ only allow for people to be as fluid as the river and not as steady as the earth?”
Jiang Fengmian faltered, clearly not knowing how to answer that.
Nie Mingjue raised his hands in a sarcastic salute: “As the leader of a sect whose style is based on a grounded foundation, I would be very happy if you would educate me in your wisdom. No doubt my peers would benefit as well.”
Perhaps it was at that point that Jiang Fengmian realized that his words could be misinterpreted as an insult to all the sects whose styles were less free-flowing than the Jiang – just about all of them except for maybe the Lan and their subsidiary sects, given their preference for techniques modeled on the wind over the water – and moreover that this was a discussion conference, where every word was political, and that a great deal of people were glaring balefully at him. He hastily moved the conversation onwards, and left the subject of his sons for another day.
Later that evening, Madame Yu came over to where Nie Mingjue was nursing a bowl of very fine wine that he didn’t especially feel like consuming. Before he could start worrying about the Purple Spider’s intentions, she said, voice stiff, “Your words regarding my son are too kind. His skills are still inferior; he has a great deal of progress yet to be made.”
“He’s only nine,” Nie Mingjue said, feeling mortified that she’d noticed his little temper tantrum, which he had belatedly realized was probably extremely obvious. “Anyway, I wasn't lying. He has a good foundation; he’ll be a fearsome cultivator one day, there’s no doubt. I only said what I saw.”
“You didn’t comment about Wei Wuxian,” she said. “You must have noticed his genius.”
“Geniuses don’t need to be praised overmuch,” Nie Mingjue said. He himself had been termed a genius by his teachers, and he’d hated every single moment of it – couldn’t he just be good at things without having people fall all over themselves to compliment him? He’d enjoyed it at the start, but after a while it had started to wear on him; he was expected to be a genius in all things, and being simply ordinary was suddenly seen as failing. “It’s the ones that have to work hard that do, or else they’ll be discouraged…comparing someone to another person’s child works as a spur to a certain extent, but after a while it loses its potency as a tool.”
Your husband is a fucking idiot, he didn’t say. It’s his own son! How could he speak like that about him? Shouldn’t he be holding him in his palms like a gentle flame, protecting him from the wind and rain? How can he bear to scold his son when he hasn't shown that the scolding is meant for his benefit?
“Perhaps,” Madame Yu said, but it was clear on her face that she wasn’t about to start taking parenting advice from a half-grown sprout like Nie Mingjue. “Nevertheless, your words were kind.”
She swept away after that, much to his relief. He shook his head and daydreamed about a magic tool that would make this whole nightmarish experience go by that much quicker.
In the end, it went by at the same speed it always did. It could have ended there, but Nie Mingjue kept up the habit of blatantly complimenting Jiang Cheng in future sect conferences as well, if only because it clearly irritated Jiang Fengmian – less because Nie Mingjue was praising his son and more because it was so obviously meant as an indirect critique of Jiang Fengmian’s skills as a parent or sect leader, and moreover it reminded all the other sects of that unfortunate interchange and made them less inclined to listen to him – and of course, because, well, once you’ve started a charge, you had to finish it even if you came to your senses about halfway through.
He made sure to keep it proportionate, of course, since there was nothing worse than false praise. He didn’t really mean anything by it, other than the half-formed thought that someone ought to be doing it – that the boy should know that someone looked at him and Wei Wuxian and remembered to praise him first. Nie Mingjue praised Wei Wuxian too, of course, since the boy often deserved it; it was only that he made a particular point not to forget about Jiang Cheng, either.
(He also made sure the other sect leaders saw how well the technique could be used to fluster Jiang Fengmian, an intrusion into his personal life that could be masked in perfect politeness, and several of them picked up the same tact, though less consistently than Nie Mingjue – Sect Leaders Jin and Wen, naturally, always looking for a weakness, but interestingly enough also Lan Qiren, who was normally above such petty maneuvers. Possibly he was actually just complimenting Jiang Cheng because he sincerely approved of him.)
He didn’t think much of it.
Nie Mingjue didn’t think much of it during the other discussion conferences, or when he came to the Cloud Recesses to pick up Nie Huaisang, who had – amazingly – actually managed to pass this time, although the expression on Lan Qiren’s face suggested the pass might have more to do with the other sect leader’s desire to never see Nie Huaisang haunt his classroom ever again.
“You know what, don’t tell me. Tell me….hm…how did Jiang Wanyin do?” Nie Mingjue asked, hand over his eyes as if it could forestall the headache. “He’s a bright boy, and knows how to put his mind to something when he wants. Tell me about him instead, it’ll be less depressing.”
“He’s very bright,” Lan Qiren agreed. “Very thoughtful, and very thorough. He sometimes errs towards conservatism out of fear of giving the wrong answer, but that’s just a matter of confidence; his thinking is very good. He’s very clear-sighted as long as the matter is logical, rather than emotional.”
“No surprise,” Nie Mingjue grunted. “He’ll be a sect leader worthy of respect, in his time.”
When he’s rid of that father of his dragging him down, he thought ungraciously, and he saw Lan Qiren bob his head in a sharp nod of unspoken agreement.
“All right,” he said. “I’m adequately fortified now. Tell me about Huaisang.”
Lan Qiren gave him a look of profound sympathy.
It wasn’t until much later, during the Sunshot Campaign, that it was first called to his attention – by Jiang Cheng himself, oddly enough.
“Why do you keep doing that?” he hissed, having stayed behind after one of their meetings.
Nie Mingjue blinked at him. “Doing – what?”
“You – you said – about me…!”
Nie Mingjue tried to recall what he’d said during the meeting just now. “That you – were doing an excellent job while facing much higher level of obstacles than everyone else?” he hazarded, because he had said something like that. “Or was it the bit about how if any of them had needed to rebuild their sect and fight at the same time, we’d all be doomed because they couldn’t multitask for shit?”
Yeah, it was probably that one.
“I didn’t mean any offense by referencing what happened to your sect,” he said, hoping to explain. “It was only –”
“I didn’t take offense,” Jiang Cheng mumbled. “It’s fine. I mean, it’s not fine, but – it happened, everyone knows that it happened, not talking about it isn’t going to make it not have happened. That’s not what I meant…why do you keep saying such nice things about me?”
Nie Mingjue blinked at him. “Because they’re true?”
Jiang Cheng’s cheeks flushed red. “You’ve always said nice things about me. Ever since I was a little kid – every time you saw me, at the discussion conferences, or the Cloud Recesses, or even in your letters to my father…”
He had in fact done that.
“I just want to know why. Is it – my father’s not around, you can’t be doing it just to piss him off, even though I know that was part of it. Why me?”
Nie Mingjue coughed a little, having not realized that Jiang Cheng had noticed. Or possibly even overheard, in regards to the Cloud Recesses. “I’m sure you’re familiar with the concept of the other person’s child,” he said, and Jiang Cheng nodded his head sharply, clearly thinking of Wei Wuxian. “You’re Huaisang’s.”
“Me?” Jiang Cheng seemed unduly vulnerable when he asked. “You compare him – to me?”
“It’s amazing he tolerated you at the Cloud Recesses,” Nie Mingjue said with a sigh. In fact, his brother had all but declared war on Jiang Cheng in absentia on account of all Nie Mingjue’s comments, only for his first letter home from the Cloud Recesses that year to be I see why you like him! He’s cute! A perfect match for you! because he’d apparently decided that Nie Mingjue had a crush on the boy.
Which he certainly hadn’t – at least not when he’d been that age, anyway. Jiang Cheng had grown up to embody every single one of the compliments Nie Mingjue had paid him when he’d been younger, especially with the maturity and natural aura of command that came to him after his personal tragedy.
“But why…you knew Wei Wuxian about as well as you knew me.”
Nie Mingjue snorted. “And that would have helped Huaisang how, exactly? If I wanted to compare him with someone who picked things up the first time they saw it, I wouldn’t need to go outside the Nie sect for that – I was also considered a genius when I was young. It’s no failing to be born without a vast and unending natural talent; Huaisang’s issue has always been his unwillingness to put in the effort.”
Jiang Cheng stared at him.
“Anyway, your father was so blinded by his adoration for Wei Wuxian that he overlooked your merits, which are different but no less impressive,” Nie Mingjue added. “As someone who was trying to figure out how to raise a child, it irritated me; I thought someone ought to make it clear to you that you were seen.”
“Yes,” Jiang Cheng said, his voice strangely hoarse. “Yes, you – you succeeded.”
He paused for a moment, meeting Nie Mingjue’s eyes intently, and then abruptly said, “I’ll be leaving,” and dashed out.
Nie Mingjue wasn’t entirely sure if that meant he should stop or not. Jiang Cheng had said he wasn’t offended…anyway, it was a fixed habit by now. He’d been doing it for over half his life! He couldn’t stop that easily! It would be like trying to stop his temper, or a charge – there was nothing for it.
Jiang Cheng would just have to live with a few compliments.
“Wow, you’re an idiot,” Nie Huaisang said when he told him about the incident, months later while he was lying in bed, recovering from the disaster that had been the end of the war. “I’ll fix this.”
“Fix what?”
“I’m going to tell him you’re dying,” Nie Huaisang decided.
“You’re going to do what?!”
“Stay in bed, da-ge! Doctor’s orders!”
The Nie sect chief doctor was an extremely terrifying person. Nie Mingjue stayed in bed.
Some time later, Jiang Cheng stormed in, face pale.
“Huaisang’s a rotten liar and I’m going to be fine,” Nie Mingjue said at once.
Jiang Cheng stopped mid-storm, and abruptly deflated. “Really?”
“Really. I would’ve stopped him, but I’m stuck in bed for the moment.”
Jiang Cheng took a seat next to him. “That sounds serious. You shouldn’t underestimate war wounds, especially given your sect’s tendency towards qi deviations...”
“Compassionate as well,” Nie Mingjue teased. “I’ll have to add that to the rotation of compliments.”
Jiang Cheng flushed red. “You’re…planning on continuing?”
“For the rest of my life, however short it might be,” Nie Mingjue said, because he was an honest person, even when it was inconvenient. He was going to explain about the habit, and the concept of stopping mid-charge, but he didn’t manage to start before Jiang Cheng grabbed him by the collar and pulled him up into a kiss.
After that, he figured that maybe explaining that part of it wasn’t necessary. He might be slow on the uptake, but he wasn’t actually stupid.
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lovebug- caliban imagine
sup. fic inspired by my favorite song in THE world. not as soft mushy as it may sound I promise caliban is a nice lil sarcastic SHIT with a big ole crush. mild sabrina bashing but its funny in context and I think it’s the way family behaves. reader is a Spellman, not a witch but DOES know about the supernatural/is part of the supernatural world. here with my once in a blue moon post lol. feedback would be appreciated!
called her for the first time yesterday
finally found the missing part of me
felt so close but you were far away
left me without anything to say
Caliban was not an idiot- he knew not to underestimate the Spellman half-witch that had gone and declared herself queen of hell. So he’d taken the liberty of learning everything he could about her, noting her habits and schedule and the people she surrounded herself with.
And then he found you.
You weren’t a witch- at least, he hadn’t found your name in his diligent searching through the Book of the Beast- but you were something. That he was sure of. There was something slightly off about your presence, tinged a little glittery, though not altogether unpleasant.
No, not unpleasant at all, he mused as he watched you make your way towards your car. Tucked into a little yellow sundress, you stood out like a ray of sunshine in the wave of doom-and-gloom that hallmarked high school. The school bell rang out behind you, and Caliban felt his knees go disgustingly weak as you smiled brilliantly at Sabrina through the crowd.
It was a stupid, stupid decision that Caliban would never have made in the right state of mind, but he reasoned that pissing off Sabrina was validation enough to get your attention. He ducked into your path on purpose, taking advantage of your momentary distraction as he gently bumped into you. oops.
You collided with a solid wall, books tumbling out of your hands as strong arms reached out to steady you. You let out a surprised yelp at the collision, peeking up curiously as the wall you’d hit laughed.
Oh, well that was a sight for sore eyes.
The golden haired stranger holding you was, well, gorgeous. Bright blue eyes peered down at you as he grinned, and you felt the whole world shutter around you. You’d definitely been watching too many soap operas with your auntie, but goddamn it if you weren't positively putty.
“Hi there, stranger.” You giggled nervously, and Caliban suddenly remembered he’d had his arms around you for far too long to be acceptable. He reluctantly retreated, feeling something claw a little uncomfortably in his chest.
“I’m sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going.” He apologized, moving to pick up your books as you bent down to retrieve them. He ran a hand through his hair in barely concealed bashfulness, unsure of why he felt so... unsettled, all of a sudden.
“It’s alright, my head was in the clouds.” You waved off his apology, accepting the books he offered you with a grateful smile. “Are you new here? I don’t think we’ve met.”
“He’s new here!” Sabrina’s shrill voice interrupted, training her icy glare on Caliban, who fought back a smirk. “This is Caliban- he’s from... Australia! Yeah, down under!”
“Oh, I can show you around tomorrow! I know how scary it can be to be new here.” You patted his arm sympathetically, ignoring Sabrina’s stream of indignant protests. “I was with student council all day. If you’re a senior, we probably have most of the same classes.”
Caliban had shit to do. Caliban had trials to plan and souls to torture. But you were looking at him- all warmth and sunshine, and Sabrina’s look of pure horror only sweetened the deal.
“I’ll see you in class tomorrow then, sunshine.”
so worth it.
now i'm speechless, over the edge
i'm just breathless
i never thought that i'd catch this love bug again
hopeless, head over heels in the moment
i never thought that i'd get hit by this love bug again
Caliban didn't understand why the mortals all bemoaned high school as hell on earth. It certainly wasn't so bad once you got past the wave of body spray and the questionable cafeteria food. In fact, darting to class with a pretty girl beside him was pretty enjoyable, all things considered.
You’d spent the day introducing him to the other students, passing him silly notes in class, and had even tugged him from the lunch room to hang out with your friends in the library. He learned that you pretty much did it all- student council, cheerleader, top of your class- all while managing to somehow know the name of everyone you passed with a smile in the halls. You were silly and sweet— smart as all hell with a wit that certainly kept the clay prince on his toes.
and he was smitten.
The groan that escaped your painted lips was delightfully sinful as you slumped in the seat beside him in english class. “I hate Romeo and Juliet. How do two people fall in love in a few days anyhow? And Mrs. Willows always makes us reenact the scenes, and it’s so corny.” The blush that colored your cheeks as he looked at you in concern was something he did his best to commit to memory- cheesiness be damned, Caliban was enjoying himself far too much.
Caliban smirked, skimming through the booklet he’d been passed as the teacher droned. The prince of hell had a certain flare for the dramatics, and Sabrina’s glare burning into the back of his head only fueled his antics. He had one scene in mind, and it was the scene that was certain to kill four birds with one stone- totally make you fall in love with him, he would somehow manage to kiss you (that part was a work in progress), piss off Sabrina, and also- piss off Sabrina.
And kiss you. So maybe five parts. Damn it, Caliban was going to have to make a list.
“Partners?” He whispered softly, gently tugging at your hand as the teacher sat back down. Caliban’s eyes were alight with a tinge of mischief that you either failed to notice or were simply amused by- and your answering nod was more than a little bashful. “We can do my favorite scene.”
“If you say the first kiss scene, I’m punching the daylights out of you.” You warned, playfully nudging his knee with your own. “It will be unkind and I will not feel bad.”
“My lady wounds me.” He dramatically rested his hand above his heart. “And we absolutely have to do this scene-” He raised his hand to silence your half-hearted protests- “because Billy told the guys in calculus that he was specifically going to be pissed if we did this scene.”
Okay, so maybe he’d stretched the truth a little bit. But Caliban knew that the mention of your seedy ex-boyfriend (who you’d enlightened him about during lunch) would absolutely get you to agree to the scene. And it wasn't like he’d lied— Billy Marlin’s glare was nearly as icy as Sabrina’s. And, it wasn't like the way Billy looked at you- with something akin to possession in his eyes- totally made Caliban want to fast track the kid to damnation right then and there. Nope.
“We can meet up later today to practice? I have cheerleading practice after school, but I’m free after that!” You grinned at him, and he felt the tension ease out of his shoulders as you rested your hand on his arm. The gesture was so effortless- but to Caliban, who’d never really experienced connection like this- you reduced him to all but clay again.
“I can drive you home after practice?” Caliban offered, enjoying the yelp that Sabrina let out from the back of the classroom. He shouldered your bag as the bell sounded, noting the way your eyes softened even further at the gesture. “We don't really have cheerleaders down under, you know.”
“You’re welcome to stay and watch.” You shrugged, ignoring the way your heart thudded erratically as he walked you to the locker room. “It won’t be too long today, and Sabrina has a date with Nick after, anyways.”
it was really just too easy.
i can't get your smile out of my mind
i think about your eyes all the time
you're beautiful but you don't even try
(you don't even, don't even try)
modesty is just so hard to find
Caliban wasn’t sure if he regretted his earlier offer. Sure, the sight of you tucked into the tight cheerleading uniform (did they make them that short on purpose?) was pretty much the pinnacle of male fantasy, and the smiles and winks you’d thrown his way whenever he caught your eye during your routines were something else altogether.
But getting the sight out of his brain as you rambled aimlessly in the car about today’s chapters of Dante’s Inferno, while he simultaneously tried to focus on the road and definitely not the way your skirt hitched on the leather seat...
Yeah, Caliban was pretty sure he was in love.
You weren’t too far off, in all honesty. Caliban’s large hands had a firm grip on the steering wheel, and you took the time to admire further up his toned arms as he drove. His hair fell in loose, windswept waves, and his side profile looked like it was sculpted by the freaking gods. Every so often he would glance your way, his perfect lips parting to reveal his perfect teeth and perfect smile and gods-
Yeah, you had the lovebug bad.
“So how did you meet Sabrina?” You questioned innocently enough, and Caliban had to restrain the urge to spill all of the hell-related gossip to you. How Sabrina had managed to keep all of her throne-seeking from you was beyond him, but it certainly added a thrill to his pursuit of you.
“I had some administrative issues the other day and ran into her. She doesn’t like me too much, I’ve gathered.” Caliban was careful not to lie- his entanglement with you had the added perk of pissing off your dearest cousin, but it was genuine on Caliban’s end. He found he didn’t really want to lie about things.
“Sabrina is... touchy.” You offered carefully, shifting in your seat as you pointed out directions to your home. “I don’t really understand why she doesn't like you, to be honest. I was actually going to have a word with her about being nice- you’ve been so sweet, and I was the new kid too a few years back. It's hard to find your place in the established dynamic of a small town.”
Caliban doubted you’d had too much of an issue, with the way the halls seemed to light up around you, but the accompanying smile you gave him was bright enough to soothe his imagined woes. “It’s alright, I reckon she’ll get used to having me around.”
“Used to you?” You mused with a giggle, leaning on the console in a gesture that brought your face much, much closer to his own. He was overwhelmed with your floral scent- something soft and summery and altogether you.
“I plan on being around you a lot, sunshine. If you don’t mind.” He grinned, turning to face you momentarily at the stop sign. Your eyes were wide with hardly concealed surprise at his words, and he watched the realization of the close proximity of his face flicker through them.
It happened so fast that Caliban was almost certain he imagined it- but your eyes had definitely glanced at his lips. The blush that tinged your cheeks as you pulled back confirmed it, and in a moment of calculated risk, Caliban moved to rest his hand on your exposed thigh.
“No, I wouldn’t mind at all.”
If Caliban squinted, he could almost picture that he was a normal teenage boy, driving a beautiful, normal girl home from school. The sinking sun was peeking through the windows, bathing you in an ethereal glow, and - at least for right now- everything was perfect.
you were perfect.
now i'm speechless, over the edge
i'm just breathless
i never thought that i'd catch this love bug again
hopeless, head over heels in the moment
i never thought that i'd get hit by this love bug again
Caliban draped himself across your bed, a languid smirk on his lips as you kicked haphazardly placed piles of clothes into your closet.
“I promise I’m not usually this messy,” you apologized with a sheepish smile, shoving a mass of shoes under your bed, “okay, that's a lie. I’m always this messy, I just didn’t expect company.”
Caliban hardly minded. It was adorable how embarrassed you were, and he took the time to take in your bedroom (drawn from his reverie only by the occasional delighted shout when you found a shirt you’d thought had been sacrificed to the laundry gods, or worse, Sabrina’s room).
The first thing Caliban noticed was the books. While your clothes lay in scattered piles, all of your books were meticulously organized and lovingly tucked into shelves that took up an entire wall of the room. Sabrina may have answered that Caliban’s only hobby was torturing babies (or her, which was the same thing, really— and also, what the hell? Caliban may have enjoyed the occasional soul flaying, but only when it was well deserved!)— but Caliban loved to read.
What was one lifetime in one world, when he could learn of a thousand others in just as many universes? Immortality could grow dull, and eternity had to be spent somehow. Caliban tried not to smile as you precariously placed the book that had found its way onto your nightstand back into its place, and supposed that it might be far more enjoyable with someone else.
You seemed satisfied with your damage control, and slumped onto the bed dramatically with a groan. It was then that Caliban’s hand found a stray victim of your clothing massacre.
“Nice.” He grinned, and you peeked up from your playbook to find him dangling a pink lace bra.
Shit.
“Give me that!” You lunged, but Caliban was too fast. He quickly moved them from your reach, laughing wildly as you wrestled him desperately for the bra.
“You are the worst.” A groan escaped you, and you huffed in fake-defeat as Caliban smirked victoriously at your retreat. You leaped at the chance, tackling Caliban with all your might. While momentarily surprised, he reacted quickly and shifted so that he was now pinning you to the bed, his hair dangling wildly in your face as you both laughed.
Caliban’s face was so close that you could see the flecks of green in his eyes. For a moment, his eyes seemed to flicker to your lips, but in the seconds it took for you to find your voice again, you’d lost your nerve.
“We should get back to the scene.”
The moment was broken, and Caliban retreated with a bashful look on his face. He ran a hand through his hair and moved to sit across from you, his cheeks tinted a little red as he politely handed you back your intimates and pretended to shield his eyes when you tossed it somewhere. You’d never been so freaking embarrassed in your life, but Caliban was smiling so softly at you, like you were—
“If I profane with my unworthiest hand this holy shrine, the gentle sin is this: my lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand to smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss.” He motioned around with his hands dramatically, tone playful and light.
You were so dead. Caliban was freaking made for this romantic swooning nonsense that you’d tried to protest nearly the whole ride home, Billy Marlin be damned.
Giggling nervously in what you hoped seemed scene-appropriate, you tried your best to forget being a horny teenager to instead play a horny teenager. “Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much, which mannerly devotion shows in this, for saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch, and palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss.”
Caliban’s voice lowered, a smile still tugging at his lips as he took your hands in his own. “Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too?”
“Ay, pilgrim.” Your own voice softened in turn as Caliban began to trace mindless patterns on the backs of your hands with his thumbs, “lips that they must use in prayer.”
“O, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do. They pray; grant thou, lest faith turn to despair.” Caliban’s eyes were soft, and you imagined that Shakespeare had pictured the man in front of you when putting the words to paper. The words fell so naturally from his lips and he seemed engrossed in the scene— he was, for lack of a better word, enchanting.
“Saints do not move, though grant for prayers' sake.” Your voice was hardly more than a breathless whisper, the proximity of your faces and the intimacy (however imagined) stealing the air from your lungs.
Caliban paused, his eyes meeting yours intently as if searching for something. Whatever it was, he seemed to find it as he took your face in both of his hands.
“Then move not, while my prayer’s effect I take.”
It was all too much. You could hardly be blamed for kissing him as fiercely as you did.
It was like fireworks, like every cheesy romance novel and play (cough, Romeo and Juliet) claimed it would be. You’d had plenty of kisses before, but never one that melted your brain like this. You forgot all about the scene, about how not real this was supposed to be as your hands tangled in his windswept hair and he pulled you onto his lap.
It was Caliban who first pulled away, only just so that your noses were touching. He was breathing heavily, eyes blown wide— and you felt your whole face turn red as reality consumed you again. “I am so sorry, I’ll just—”
“Where do you think you’re going, Juliet?” Caliban’s hands firmly gripped your hips, preventing you from moving away. His fingers thumbed the band of your skirt, and his next words were a whisper against your lips.
“Thus from my lips, by thine, my sin is purged.”
kissed her for the first time yesterday
everything i wished that it would be
suddenly i forgot how to speak
hopeless, breathless, baby can't you see?
Caliban was in love. He’d spent the next three weeks with you reciting Romeo and Juliet, sharing shakes at Dr. Cerberus, and tugging you into empty classroom and closets at every opportunity to kiss you senseless. Every moment not spent with you was at least somewhat occupied by the thought of you, and Caliban found he wasn’t the least bit upset about it.
And Sabrina was pissed.
If she’d hated him before, she positively loathed him now. It was the latest point of contention between yourself and your darling cousin, who’d you taken to threatening with various kitchen utensils and promises to tell the aunties she’d been sneaking out to make her behave. And Caliban, for his part, was perfectly polite— even though he still had every intention of taking the throne from the inexperienced witch who promised to destroy the balance of heaven and hell.
Which presented Caliban’s own latest dilemma. He was going to have to tell you eventually— and in a way that didn't make you totally hate him. He had a plan. Okay, maybe a skeletal plan. Or no plan. Yeah, Caliban was going to wing it.
After today. He just had to make it through your reenactment of Romeo and Juliet with no demonic catastrophes or maiming Blly, and then he would tell you everything.
But even that was too much to ask.
Sabrina burst through the english classroom doors, yelling in barely concealed panic that there was a BIG problem and the principal needed Caliban now.
Caliban moved to leave with an apologetic smile in your direction, which you were absolutely not having. Despite your current frustration with Sabrina, she looked downright terrified, and you were both concerned for your cousin and overwhelmed with a gut feeling that something was up.
After a few moments, you excused yourself to use the restroom.
You hauled ass to the gym, where the screaming sounded to be coming from. When you entered, you were met with the strangest sight.
The gym was filled with winged... rats? And at the center of the chaos was Sabrina and Caliban, back to back and armed with what appeared to be lacrosse sticks. Caliban’s shirt was tattered from the rats, and you took a fraction of a second to banish the completely innappropriate and untimely thoughts from your head.
“And no one thought to call me?” You shouted angrily through the swarm, snagging a baseball bat from the rack and smacking it around with reckless abandon. Caliban hooted, laughing loudly as you took your place beside them. Rats tore at your clothes, but you were more frustrated that Sabrina had called your boyfriend (or whatever he was) over you.
“Why did you get Caliban! I was right there! Is there something wrong with you? Were you dropped on the head as a child? He’s not even from here Sabrina, he has no idea what-”
“For hell’s sake, he’s not the new kid! He’s not even from Australia! He’s a stupid clay prince from hell who is trying to take my throne and raze humanity, and his stupid plague king sent these after me, and now he’s dating you!” Sabrina spat out the word dating as if it was even more disgusting than the winged vermin tearing at your clothes.
“Will someone please explain what the hell is going on here?”
You were no less frustrated when Sabrina revealed her trek to hell and the all ensuing madness she’d partaken in, but you remained calm enough to not turn the bat on her clearly empty skull.
“And you’re the clay prince of hell... challenging her throne?” You questioned with a sharp glance at Caliban, who nodded reluctantly as he swatted a rat hurtling towards you.
“Do you even have a driver’s license!” You screamed, waving your baseball bat around wildly.
“I’m a demon prince of hell made out of clay, and you’re worried about if I can legally drive?” Caliban shouted back in astonishment through the wave of shrieking rats. The lacrosse stick he’d snagged was surprisingly effective.
“I was getting to that part, thank you for reminding me!” You hissed, debating whether to smash his face in with the bat. “How about we start with how you completely lied to me, and how our whole relationship or whatever it is a lie! Were you ever going to tell me? Or was this all part of some throne grab?”
“It wasn’t a lie!” Caliban demanded hotly. “You were not a lie!”
“Really!” You whirled on him, eyes alight with anger. “Because I sure feel like one!”
The rats numbers were dwindling rapidly, and you smacked the last one heading towards you directly at Caliban’s face. It collided with a satisfying shriek, and you threw your bat down as you stormed out of the gym.
Sabrina and Caliban rushed after you, but you’d disappeared in the hall.
now i'm, yeah, oh!
now i'm speechless, over the edge
i'm just breathless
i never thought that i'd catch this love bug again
now i'm hopeless, head over heels in the moment
i never thought that i'd get hit by this love bug again, (oh)
love bug again
You’d remained collected until you’d transported into the middle of the living room, collapsing into auntie Hilda’s arms in a puddle of tears as you told her everything. She’d muttered a stream of ancient curses about Sabrina, but beyond that merely smoothed your hair and told you that all boys were awful— especially demonic princes of hell.
“I hate him.” You glared half-heartedly into your cup of steaming peppermint tea. You couldn’t believe you’d been so stupid. Falling blindly in love with a stranger who had only sought you out for some elaborate game with Sabrina. Screw Caliban and his perfect hair, his perfect smile, his perfect— “I want to bash his face in.”
“No you don't, love.” Hilda smiled knowingly. “You’re angry, yes— and hurt. But you care for the boy. I’ve never seen you so happy as you’ve been these last few days. I think you ought to cool down and hear what he has to say.”
“I never want to talk to him again.” You groaned, burying your face in a pillow. “I’d rather die.”
And because the universe was truly conspiring against you, a knock sounded at the door.
“Well, best get over that quick.” Hilda warned, ignoring your stream of indignant protests as she hustled to the door.
“Caliban! Yes, do come in love. Oh, yes, we will be having a little chat later, but for now I think it’s my niece you must be speaking to.” Hilda’s cheerful voice trailed in from the foyer, and you jumped up to make a break for it.
You were halted by a familiar pair of strong arms tugging you back by the waist.
“Get off of me!” You shouted, pushing Caliban away harshly and ignoring the warmth that lingered where he’d touched you. “I want my baseball bat. Somebody get me my baseball bat! I’m going to bash your stupid pretty face in you asshole—”
“Five minutes.” Caliban pleaded desperately, “just give me a five minutes to explain, and then I’ll give you back the baseball bat to bash my face in, okay?”
You considered his offer for a moment, swallowing the sob crawling its way up your throat as you nodded reluctantly. If it made him leave faster, you’d do anything.
His shoulder sagged in barely concealed relief. “Okay. I am Caliban, Prince of Hell. I am not from Australia, clearly, and am not a transfer student. I am trying to take your cousin’s throne. She does not understand the realm of the damned— she thinks it needs to be generous, rather than a fair judgment of life. I am not her father, and I do not believe in reckless or cruel damnation. I do not wish any harm on Sabrina, and I’ve managed to keep the worst of the plague kings from her. Even if you were to reject me now, I would continue to try to protect her— you have my word.” Caliban paused as you released a breath you did not know you were holding. Your eyes finally dared to meet his, and you nodded for him to continue.
“I agreed to attend Greendale because yes, it did piss off Sabrina, but you were there.” He raised his hand to halt your protest. “You intrigued me, and I wanted to know you better. I will be fully honest that it had the added bonus of irritating your cousin, who I so delight in irritating, but my primary focus was you. You... enchanted me. I had never found myself so invested in anything before as I was in spending mundane days at high school— of all things— with you. Truthfully, it confused even me at first. And while the past you knew is false, I am real— and my feelings for you are true.”
“That is such bullshit, and you know it!” You exploded furiously, smacking his chest with untamed rage. “You knew exactly what you were doing. Who agrees to go to high school because they like a girl? Are you unhinged? Who doesn't just ask someone out if they were so interested, huh? No, you came here with your stupidly perfect little ‘oh I’m Caliban, and I’m so dreamy’ act, knowing full well that it would make me completely abandon all rationality. Well guess what, I did! I fell stupid head over heels for you, and it was all one big lie.”
Your voice broke on the last few words, anger shifting to broken sadness as you continued to pound relentlessly on his chest. “I was a lie.”
He caught your hands, holding them against his chest as he pressed you against the wall. “You weren't a lie, Spellman.”
His words were breathless whisper, his beautiful eyes pained and desperate as he gripped your hands harder. “I fell for you the moment I saw you. I enrolled in high school because you smiled at me. I learned every line of Romeo and Juliet to recite them to you. When we first met, you wondered how Romeo and Juliet could possibly fall in love after a mere few days, but I understand it now. I have never been driven so completely insane by anything or anyone like this before. The power you have over me is unmatched. I am completely and wholly yours. If you were to ask me right now to leave, to never bother you again, I would leave my heart with you and spend my eternity in endless sorrow. I would think forever of the way you smiled at me, the way you kissed me, how soft your hair felt in my hands, and how my heart raced every time you laughed. I would never forgive myself for the pain I had caused you, and you would haunt me every day, every waking moment, every dream.”
Caliban moved your hands to his lips, nearly kissing them as he pleaded to you with tears in his beautiful eyes. You were motionless, turned to stone by his heavy gaze.
“So please, don’t become my specter. If I am a stranger to you now, let me make you fall for me all over again. I would do it a thousand times, if you'd let me. I could think of no sweeter way to spend my eternity.”
When you’d thought that Shakespeare had been imagining Caliban when he wrote, you’d been wrong. There was no poetry, no book, no lyric that could possibly compare to the way he spoke to you— the way his eyes so desperately tried to convey his anguish.
You removed your hands from his, and his whole face seemed to shatter.
“You’re not a stranger,” you muttered softly, moving to take his face your hands. His face remained guarded, but he leaned instinctively into your touch. “You’re Caliban.”
When you kissed him, it was like falling in love all over again.
And you supposed you did.
“But we are having a long, long talk about everything.” You warned as you pulled back, poking his chest sharply as he nodded profusely. “And if you ever, ever lie to me again, I’ll set something worse than flying rats on you. I’ll let Sabrina have you.”
Caliban laughed wildly, picking you up and spinning you around as he kissed you over and over again in sheer relief and joy. “I love you, Spellman. Anything you want, it’s yours.”
“I just want you, clay boy.”
#caliban imagine#Caliban#prince caliban#caliban x reader#sabrina spellman#Chilling Adventures of Sabrina#sabrina spellman imagine#harvey kinkle#Nicholas Scratch#theo putnam#roz walker#liliith#dorian gray#Zelda Spellman#hilda spellman#nick scratch#nicholas scratch imagine#harvey kinkle imagine#ambrose spellman#ambrose spell man imagine#prudence night#The Weird Sisters
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Enough For You
Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader
Word Count: 4.8k
{This is my first peter fic and theres more to come. I may make a part two of this- it depends though. This work is a complete work of fiction and doesnt follow the mcus storyline of peter parker at all. Just the characters. Anyways enjoy. Much love, R.}
Peter, as smart as he can be, was a complete and utter idiot. He could read an entire textbook on quantum physics, take a test on said textbook, and ace it like it was nothing. That's how intelligent he was. But when it came to the obvious things that didn't take place in the academic world- he was an oblivious idiot.
Y/N has had a crush on Peter since they were in elementary school. Everyone in Peter and Y/N’s inner circle saw how deep in love Y/N was with Peter- except for Peter. Y/N has spent years trying to tell him how she feels but he always just interprets it as Y/N telling him how much she loves their friendship- like the idiot he is.
As senior prom slowly approached Y/N waited for the moment where Peter would ask her to the dance. They both were not dance people but senior prom was so different. Y/N just wanted to spend the night with her closest friends before they all went their separate ways for college. Normally Y/N and Peter went to every dance together, but as prom got closer, Y/N started to worry that he wouldn't even ask her. And unfortunately, she was right to think that.
Ned, Peter, MJ, and Y/N all sat at a round table on their school's campus during their lunch period talking and eating. The conversation of prom came up making Y/N’s ears perk up hoping to hear the words she's been waiting for from Peter.
“So Peter, what are your prom plans?” MJ asked, chewing on some of Y/N’s carrots from her lunch. Y/N looked at Peter waiting for his answer. He blushed, rubbing the back of his neck to ease his nerves.
“I'm actually going to prom with Liz. I asked her yesterday after school and she said yes.” He smiled happily of the thought of him and Liz dancing at prom. Y/N on the other hand felt her heart clench uncomfortably. MJ looked just as shocked as Y/N hearing Peter's words. Ned looked up from his comic book as an uncomfortable silence filled the table.
Quickly, Y/N packed her lunch back into her lunch bag and slung her bookbag haphazardly over her shoulder. Her face was scrunched up as she tried to contain her tears. “Sorry guys, I completely forgot that I have to help Mrs. Anderson with some...thing.”
Rushing away, the group was left to watch Y/N’s figure scurry away from the table. Tom looked at her in confusion before looking at his other best friends trying to figure out what had just happened.
“What just happened? Is she Ok?” He asked getting his stuff ready so he could go and follow the girl. MJ put a hand on his arm to stop him from packing up.
“I think you should just let her be alone for a minute… So you and Liz huh?”
“I- yeah I've had a crush on her for years now. I thought I told you guys this.” Peter’s hands fiddled with the book in front of him. Ned shared a look with MJ making Peter look at them confused again. “Guys, what aren't you telling me? What's going on?”
“Sorry dude, it's not our place to say. You should probably talk to her after school.” Ned replied, patting Peter on the back trying to comfort him. The bell interrupted any further conversation from happening. The trio went their separate ways to class after saying an awkward goodbye.
Peter spent the whole day with his mind clouded with thoughts. He racked his brain for any possible reason as to why Y/N were so upset.
After school, Peter showed up to a Y/N’s house hoping to talk to the girl and figure out why his best friend was so upset. Y/N’s mom gave Peter a small smile when he approached the house, nodding her head to where the backyard was located to say where Y/N was at.
Y/N sat on a quilt made by her grandmother on the soft gras of her backyard. A large tree covered her from the sun that was slowly beginning its descent into the night. She looked up from the book she was reading hearing the sound of footsteps coming towards her. Peter stood there, backpack on one shoulder, hands in both sweater pockets just waiting.
“Hey.” Peter said, setting his backpack down before sitting across from the girl on the soft quilt.
“Hi Peter.” She quietly replied, keeping her head low so she couldn't meet his eyes.
“Can you tell me what happened today? You seemed upset. Did something happen in class?” He asked, his hand reaching out to tilt her face to look at him. She looked at his face, seeing his furrowed eyebrows and watching as his eyes searched her face for any clue as to what was wrong.
“You're taking Liz to prom.” She finally spoke after a moment of silence.
“I'm taking Liz to prom.” He confirmed still sitting there in confusion.
“I wanted you to ask me to prom.”
“Oh.” Y/N stopped looking at Peter, her hands playing with the frayed edges of her ripped jeans.
“Oh? You always ask me to school dances and I just thought…”
“Thought what? Y/N I dont get what you're saying. We did go to past dances together but this is prom you know. I really like Liz so I asked her.” He said still not putting two and two together to understand the issue.
“To be the smartest boy in our school, you are the biggest idiot ever.” Peter scoffed, offended by her comment. “Peter, I love you.”
“What?” Peter was shocked by her statement.
“I've liked you since the 4th grade and I guess I assumed you had started to like me too. I thought you were going to ask me to prom because you- you liked me too?” She looked at him again, face flushed and shoulders tense with anxiety.
“Y/N...I'm sorry but I- I dont like you like that. I didn't know that you did like me like that.” He watched as her shoulder dropped in defeat. Tears pooled in her eyes spilling onto her cheeks. She quickly wiped her face off with her hands. “Please don't cry, i'm so sorry. I still want to be friends though.”
She chuckled at his words. “I don't think we can be friends, Peter. I think it would be best for myself if we weren't friends.”
Her words cut like knives through his heart. He stood up abruptly as anger flooded through his body.
“So we can't be friends now? We've been friends since kindergarten. You are my best friend Y/N and you're going to throw it away over this?” His voice rose as he spoke. Y/N stood as well, anger taking over her as she listened to Peter raise his voice at her.
“Do you know what it feels like to watch someone you love not love you back?” She yelled at him, Peter’s eyes widened in shock having never heard his best friend speak like this before. “Do you know what it's like to watch the person you love have crushes on everybody but you? Do you know what it's like to not be enough? What is it about Liz that I don't have? You don't even know her!”
“You're mad at me for not liking you back? I can't control my feelings Y/N and I'm sorry for that but I don't want to lose our friendship. Please don't do this.” He held her face in his hands brushing the stray tears from her face. She shook her head free, backing away from him. Her hands clutched her arms, folding on top of her chest.
“I'm sorry Peter that I couldn't be good enough for you.” She gave him a small heartbroken smile before grabbing the book she was reading and went inside of her house. Peter watched as his best friend walked away from him for the second time that day. His chest felt tight, hands shaking as he thought about the ending of friendship he held dear to his heart.
Peter dreaded going to school. He spent the whole night being forced awake by panic attacks and non-stop crying. He had never felt a heartbreak like this. He's heard people say that friendship breakups are harder than relationship breakups and Peter can attest to that. Granted he's never been in a relationship, but he's going through a heartbreak he's never felt before.
He got ready for school slowly, relishing in the comfort of his room before exiting out into the living room of the apartment. He gathered his backpack that had been thrown carelessly in the living room out of anger as Aunt May watched him from the hallway before her bedroom. She decided against asking him what was wrong because she didn't want him to become even more upset on his way to school. Her heart aches as she watches her boy frown and wander around with sadness looming on his face.
At school, Ned and Mj waited for Peter at his locker like the group normally does. This time, Y/N was nowhere to be seen. Peter walked up to his locker, unlocking it and grabbing his things from inside of it for class.
“Did you guys know she liked me?” Peter asked after standing in silence with the group for a few moments. They looked at Peter in pity before nodding yes. Peter shook his head, upset with himself for never noticing the obvious feelings coming from his best friend.
The group walked to their first period class, Ned and Mj making small talk whereas Peter walking listening in on the conversation. Sitting in their normal seats, they waited for the first bell to ring that determined when the first period would begin.
The door of the classroom opened showing Y/N with arms filled with her textbooks and backpack slipping off of her arms. MJ thought Peter looked bad but Y/N probably looked worse. Her eyes were puffy carrying bags of sleeplessness and her overall appearance looked tired. The Y/N the group knew would come to school always dressed for success wearing the cutest outfits and makeup done to perfection. She wasn't over the top with it but she always looked so well put together. Today, she was wearing leggings and a ratty hoodie. Her hair didn't look like it normally did, her face was bare of makeup.
She moved slowly looking for an open table in the classroom. She saw one in the back of the room near the window and walked over to claim it as her own. Her friend group watched in shock as she walked past them and towards the empty table. Peter’s chest hurt so bad watching her walk past them. Mj and Ned were upset too but they had spoken to her before school and understood her want for space.
“She doesn't have to sit all the way over there.” Peter whispered still staring at Y/N as she settled into her seat in the back of the room.
“It's ok, she just wants space and that's ok.” Mj reassured him, rubbing his shoulder as he laid his head down on the table. He didn't know how he would cope without his best friend or lack thereof.
Lunchtime came sound and normally the friend group would sit outside together if the weather was nice. They've always done this since freshman year. They would sit at the wood tables and share their lunch with each other. Y/N would normally share her fruits and vegetables knowing that her friends packed unhealthy junk food.
Today was different though. Mj, Peter, and Ned sat at the table without her. Her spot at the table is empty leaving an uncomfortable gap at the round table. Y/N found herself seated inside of the library by the window that looked out on the wooden tables she would normally sit at.
Y/N sat in the quiet library crying her eyes out as she watched her friends comfort Peter. She was hurting so bad knowing that she ruined her friendship. She wishes that she never said anything. That she just let Peter be happy with his newfound relationship with Liz. She wanted to be happy for him but she had some resentment towards him. She understood he couldn't control his feelings but she hurt knowing that he never in the years they've known each other he's never looked at her more than a friend.
She wiped her tears from her face, pulling her neatly packed lunch box out of her backpack. She stared down at her lunch, sad that she had no one to share with anymore.
“Hey, do you mind if I sit here?” A voice said from above Y/N. Looking up she saw Bryant, another senior in her class, standing with his lunch.
“Oh- yeah, sure, of course.” Y/N stuttered making room at the table for his things. The table was large enough for the two of them so there was no real reason for her to say that he couldn't sit with her. Bryant was the captain of the baseball team at their highschool. He wasn't like the cliche popular kids at school who stayed within their cliques but he was very sweet and attentive to anyone he crossed paths with.
“Thank you! I saw you sitting by yourself and it kinda looked like you needed a friend.” He commented setting his salad from the cafeteria down along with his backpack that seemed too empty for a highschool seniors backpack. “So, how's today going for you?”
Y/N was taken aback by the boy's boldness. This was her first time ever talking to him and he wants to know about her day? She was baffled.
“I-It's been slow I guess. I'm ready to go home honestly.” He nodded, chewing on his salad.
“I feel that. I wish I could go home after school. I've got prom preparation after school, so annoying.” He rolled his eyes at the thought. “I don't know if you know but my name is Bryant, it's real nice to meet you.”
Sticking his hand out to shake, Y/N grasped it hesitantly.
“I'm Y/N, I think we had english together last year.”
“Yeah we did didn't we. I hated that class, you were awesome in it though.” She blushed at the compliment. “But yeah, I know who you are. You're apart of Peter’s little group.”
“Oh yeah, I was.” She shrugged emotions overwhelming her again.
“Was? You obviously don't have to tell me, but I hope you're ok.” Bryant smiled at Y/N and Y/N was blown away by his kindness.
“Peter and I aren't friends anymore. He's going to prom with Liz and I just thought that maybe he would have asked me.” Bryant felt bad for Y/N. He could see how hurt she was despite her wearing a smile on her face. Y/N wasn't a stranger in this school. She played a large role in academics and actively participated in multiple clubs. The Y/N Bryant saw before wasn't present today and it was sad.
“I know we've just met but I don't have a date to prom either...if you would like to go with me. I wanted to go with Jordan but it turns out he is not actually into very beautiful and athletic boys.” Y/N laughed along with Bryant.
“I would love to go to prom with you as long as we can coordinate outfits.” Bryant laughed some more agreeing with her. Y/N looked down at the lunch before sliding over a few snacks toward Bryant. Y/N still felt the sadness of letting go of her best friend lingering with her but it felt nice to meet someone new. Not someone to replace her Peter but someone to remind her that life goes on and that she'd be ok in the long run.
Weeks have passed since Peter and Y/N’s fallout and it was a weird few weeks. School was coming to an end, cap and gowns were slowly being handed out for graduation and prom posters were posted everywhere.
Y/N was still avoiding Peter at all costs but she apologized to Ned and Mj for ignoring their feelings. She didn't want them to feel like they had to be in the middle of this mess. She didn't want them to feel like she also ditched them too. They understood her, they knew how hard it was for her to remove herself from their friend group for the sake of her mental health.
Y/N and Bryant continued to grow closer. He was a good distraction from her current problems. She also learned that he was bisexual and that Jordan was also on the baseball team who was too scared to come out and go to prom with Bryant. Bryant was someone Y/N didn't expect to befriend her. His kindness made her feel so much better after what had happened.
Peter struggled badly. He had been so happy to finally get the girl he had been pining after for years but seeing Y/N cry because of him hurt so much. It made him rethink his whole friendship with her. Did he really only think of her as a friend?
Peter watched everyday as Y/N grew closer to Bryant, a warm feeling entered his belly every time he saw the two together. It wasn't a pleasant warm feeling, it was a feeling that made him overthink everything he did. It was a feeling that made his face scrunch up and his head fill with sickness. His thoughts became muddled, words not making sense as he watched the two. He was jealous. Did he recognize it as jealousy, no, because Peter was an idiot.
Prom season was hectic and fun all at the same time. People were hardcore prepping for the dance. Money was being saved for the before dance dinner and the stretch limo that would provide a chariot to the dance.
The mall was beyond crowded, Bryant led the way with Y/N pushing through crowds of people to reach the small dress shop they had been dying to go to all day. The small dress shop was locally owned by a hispanic couple who hand made the dresses in the shop. The dresses they had were beautiful, all arraying from different colors, sizes, and silhouettes. Y/N tried on almost every dress in the store that was in her size.
“This is useless, these dresses are gorgeous but I feel like I look so stupid.” Y/N huffed sitting next to Bryant on the velvet loveseat that sat in front of the dressing room. Y/N was near tears out of pure frustration.
“Stop it, I thought you looked amazing in every single one of those dresses. I think you're just too into your own head. What's up girl?” He put an arm around her shoulders laying his head on top of hers.
“I just want to look good. Good like Liz…” She whispered the last part out of embarrassment. Bryant scoffed.
“You're joking right? You two are incomparable people. She's pretty in her own ways just as you are. Are you comparing yourself to her because of Peter?” Bryant exclaimed loudly, catching the attention of the woman who owns the shop.
“Peter likes Liz.” Was all that Y/N could muster, pouting at her own words.
“Here mija.” The woman who owned the shop came walking over to Y/N with a beautiful pink dress in her hands. “I made this a week ago but havent even put it on the floor yet.”
Y/N shook her head furiously, “No I couldn't.”
“No, please try it on and if you like it, it's yours.” The woman insisted on a bright smile playing on her face.
“Its-Its mine?”
“Yes honey, you obviously need this dress more than I do. You need a dress that will make you feel beautiful and I think this will do.”
Y/N tried on the dress watching it flow down to the floor. It was a pretty pink color with flowers at the top. Buttons adorned the middle of the dress cinching the waist and the bottom of the dress flowed to the floor in bunches.
Stepping out of the dressing room, dressed clad on her body, Bryants mouth dropped in shock at the sight of her.
“Holy….” He was at a loss for words. Y/N blushed, turning to look at herself in the mirror, her own mouth dropping in shock.
“...Shit” She finished.
“You look amazing mija. It's all yours, please, you have to wear that to your dance.” The woman begged Y/N. Y/N nodded, smiling at herself in the mirror. It had been weeks since she felt like her normal self. She had spent so many days pondering about why Peter liked Liz more than her. Why Liz got Peter versus Y/N getting peter. But now it wasn't about Peter.
The woman walked with Y/N up to the front of the store, carefully wrapping the dress in a delicate box.
“No boy should ever determine his worth.” The woman said, handing the box over. “You are beautiful and I'm sure Liz is too but you, you are a gorgeous young woman who will encounter many men or women or people in general who will want to be in your life simply because you are you.”
Y/N thought about the shop owner's words as both Bryant and her maneuvered through the mall's crowds. Y/N grasped the corner of Bryants elbow as he carried their shopping bags. He made small jokes making Y/N laugh. He kissed her on the cheek endearingly as she laughed some more.
Unknown to Y/N, Peter stood a few feet away from the couple as they walked by holding onto each other looking like...a couple. That warm feeling reentered Peter's belly, sickness looming over his head making him feel lightheaded. Peter watched the couple walk away with sadness filling his heart. He missed being Y/N’s best friend. He missed their walks through the mall where he would buy her all the pretzels she wanted while holding her bags of useless junk she spent hundreds on. He missed her.
Prom night came quickly after finals finished on campus. Y/N put on her dress and had her hair and makeup done by her mom. Standing in front of her mirror she made sure she was ready to go. Her mother called her to the front door signalling Bryant was there to pick her up.
Bryant showered Y/N in compliments, getting his matching pink tie tied by Y/N’s dad. They both exchanged corsages and boutineers that were adorned by pretty white flowers. They took pictures in the backyard by Y/N’s tree posing in silly poses and in your typical prom poses.
Peter stood outside of Liz’s house filled with dread. He realized that this was not the place that he wanted to be. He wanted to be at Y/N’s house taking pictures, eating her parents food, and laughing about the stupid things they normally joke about. He wanted to watch as Y/N showed off her dress to him. He wanted to be the one to bring her a bouquet of flowers that she would dry up in her journal for safe keeping. But instead he was here, in front of Liz’s mansion, hurting.
The dance was at full blast when Y/N and Bryant arrived- late because Bryant believed being fashionably late was the best type of late. They walked around the venue hand in hand as Bryant showed off all of the things he contributed to the dance. Bryant left Y/N in the flower photo room having been called away to help fix something for the dance. Y/N admired the walls covered in small and large flowers.
“Woah.” Someone gasped from behind Y/N. Turning around she came face to face to a red faced peter. “You look…ethereal, is that even the right word?”
Peter couldn't stop staring at how beautiful Y/N looked. Her dress made her stand out from the rest. Butterflies erupted in his stomach replacing the warm feeling of jealousy he had been previously feeling.
“Oh, hi Peter.” Y/N was filled with nerves as he slowly walked towards her. “How are you?”
“I don't feel too good honestly. I messed up a really good thing I think and I want to fix it. I never realized how much you meant to my life until I lost you. I know that's cheesy but it's true.” He quietly uttered, staring into her eyes. “I don't want us to stop being friends and I think I do like you.”
“You think?” She questioned looking at him hopefully.
“I- yeah I think.”
He thinks. He doesn't know if he likes her but he thinks he does. Y/N shook her head disappointed.
“Peter, I've spent the last three weeks wondering why I wasn't good enough for you to like me. I only just realized that I was good enough maybe not for you but for other people. Since we were kids I always did things in hopes of catching your attention. I joined the debate team because you did. I joined the academic team because you became the captain. I even tried to apply to be an intern at stark industries so I could work with you without even realizing that stark industries didn't have internships. And that spiderman started appearing a lot more after said internship appeared.” She had a knowing smile on her face.
“Oh so you know.” He looked down at the ground embarrassed to be exposed.
“Peter, I know so much about you. I know you better than Mj and Ned that's the whole reason why we are best friends. I know how you like your sandwiches- breakfast and lunch. I know how you organize your school work. I know that you like to specifically request time in the lab in the morning because all of the equipment is freshly washed and you like to first pick at the goggles and coats. Peter, I know you don't like me. You feel bad and miss me but you don't like me.” She walked to him, placing her hands on his cheeks. He melted into her hands.
“But I think I do Y/N.”
“Ok so say you think you like me, I would prefer to have you when you know you like me not when you have only developed small feelings after not having me for a few weeks. Peter, I'm in love with you. I'm in a lot deeper than a few small feelings. I don't want to make you be in a relationship when we are in two very different places.” She sniffled a little one hand coming to stop the tears from ruining her makeup.
“I want nothing more than to be your best friend again but I can't.” He couldn't stop his tears from falling at those words. “I can't go back to being the girl who did nothing for herself and everything for the boy she loves. I need more for myself. I'm going to college and I don't even know how to just be me without you and I need to learn how.”
He absorbed her words, crying free flowing tears.
“I want you to be happy Y/N.” He nodded, she swiped her thumbs under his eyes. She smiled sweetly at him. Placing a sweet kiss on his lips, Y/N gave him one last smile before walking away from him.
Y/N walked away with her heart feeling light. She felt like a burden had been lifted off of her shoulders. Her intent wasn't to hurt Peter but she needed to say what had been in her mind for weeks. She knew he would eventually move on from his slight crush on her and so would she. She would move on eventually, it would be a slow and hard process but it would happen. And she would never fully get over him. She's been in love with him since they were kids- it's all she's ever known. But for right now she was focusing on loving herself and growing into the person she was meant to be- without Peter.
#peter parker#peter parker x y/n#peter x you#peter parker oneshot#peter parker imagine#peter parker angst#spider man#spiderman x you#tom holland#tom holland x reader
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