#always pushing people away

[binnie]

I feel so alone

[chloecherrysip]

Head empty, only thinking about Ultra Protective Big Brother Mario at all times and how ever since he was a literal baby who just learned to walk, his first, strongest instinct, as unthinking and instantaneous as a reflex, as breathing, has been to position himself in between Luigi and the slightest hint of danger with absolutely ZERO hesitation

(Their expressions are EXACTLY the same in the 1st and 3rd image!!!! Some things never change!!!! LOOK HOW HARD I CAN CRY!!!!!)

[sparklingcid3r]

No thoughts, just Darry “I’m not a violent dog, I don’t know why I bite” Curtis

[lqfiles]

instead of focusing on what member unfollowed him, or making up additional allegations, please just wish the best for the victim who had to endure his torment. please wish the best for all the women in south korea right now with the current uprise in SA crimes as well as chatrooms filled with nonconsensual content. wish the best for the underage girls who have also fallen victim to these crimes by other underaged men. the women who don’t have the courage to come forward and speak about this because of the society they live in.

[noirve]

god, armand as a character is giving me serious brainrot. he's such a control freak because he desperately needs to derive meaning from something—anything. whether it's god, rituals, or coven life, he needs to give a purpose to his existence. this is why he upholds these stringent laws and regulations in both of his covens, which are ultimately destroyed by someone he loves who stands outside it all. and he kind of just allows that destruction, despite all of his power, because he is also... bored? it's like he's on autopilot, going through life in this meticulously constructed routine until he meets lestat and later louis, who both refuse to adhere to his carefully crafted structures and disrupt the status quo. this is attractive to armand because deep down, underneath his all masked emotions, he is very lonely and desperate for connection! which is just awfully human for such an ancient powerful being

imagine being this old and alone, how do you endure? armand tries to find value in these rigid structures because otherwise, his life feels empty. "he needs rules to give him purpose" but in the end, this doesn't fulfill him completely because, despite his feigned confidence and stoicism, he is insecure, needy, and traumatized. this is why he seeks out chaos despite having spent all this time trying to control everything and everyone around him. he lets it happen—for love, but also, i think, because unconsciously he desires that total loss of control, which allows him to actually feel something real. every few decades, he almost intentionally lets his entire world, the world he worked so hard to manipulate into his will, be ruined. yet, when he tells daniel he "let it happen," he is lying, too (at least about lestat) because he presents himself as more passive, composed, and reasonable than he really was when his way of life was threatened. he just tells himself that he wanted it that way all along so he remains the one in control. i need to see him crack

[futuristicmiraclenightmare]

I'm crying,they knew exactly what they were doing with these two

[sysig]

Softly, slowly, I want to love you anyway (Patreon)

[waitineedaname]

brought myself to tears thinking about luo binghe and his loneliness. during all the worst times of his life, he was alone. when his mother died, he had no one. when he was being abused on qing jing, he had ning yingying but there wasn't much she could do for him. in the abyss, he was alone. when he was grieving sqq for five years, he had subordinates but he didn't have anyone to hold him and comfort him

and it's that loneliness and isolation that xin mo capitalizes on. those feelings of loneliness and isolation make his self esteem worse and his emotional state more unstable, because deep down is a miserable and lonely child that wants to be held and comforted and love

luckily for him, all shen qingqiu wants is to hold him and comfort him and make him feel loved! I think post-canon, they'll spend a long time confronting those wounds left by loneliness, except now instead of having to bear it alone, sqq will be there to hold him in his arms and tell him I'm sorry you were hurting, I'm sorry you were alone, you never should have gone through that. and there's the promise that he won't ever have to be alone again because that's the promise sqq made to him. from now on, wherever binghe goes, shen qingqiu will follow

[wishiwerethesun]

I love how good at masking Nightwing is

[tiredgeekgirl]

fellas it has been three months since the beach episode and thinking about neil and eva in any capacity still makes me ILL

[jimmyspades]

“Bye.”

[greater-than-the-sword]

I need someone to tell me that im not stuck here and things are going to get better. Also they have to know what they're talking about

[lunarharp]

thingies

[fumifooms]

I’ve never really been into kabrin but the name of the game with them is angst anyways, right, and it clicked in an interesting way for me for a sec a while back while chatting with buddies…

The timeline where he likes her back but he pushes her away because he’s scared of hurting women, being unlovable and ruining people who decide to stay with him’s lives etc etc… The guilt yet the desire that make him act flip floppy and just push him further into "think about nothing else except your plans" mentality… But then the thing that made me 👀⁉️ is Kabru worrying he’s the child of a succubus/incubus in the context of them… He ISN’T but his anxiety that he might be, adds another layer to their angle and omg?

Like Kabru esp with Rin already has that condescending but caring "I can’t possibly give you what you want, because I know better than you do what you want and need (and I’m not that)", the "No, Rin, you don’t want to be involved with me, I won’t let you ruin your life by choosing to stay with me. I know what you really want and need more than you and I am pushing you away for your own good", but with the incubus insecurity slapped on top of it… It’s Kabru feeling even worse about Rin loving him and even more unfit to receive or reciprocate it. It’s Kabru feeling like there’S NO POSSIBLE WAY Rin’s love for him could be genuine, that she could love ~the real him~ or do so genuinely. Because he has his persona he puts on, first of all, and since he doesn’t let down his walls around Rin either imo he thinks he’s got her dancing to its tune, so first it’s like well ok she doesn’t love me she just knows this shell of me, she just latched onto me because we went through similar trauma at the same time and then she got attached to this persona of someone perfect who isn’t me- AND THEN THERE’S THE GUILT THERE’S THE DESPAIR BECAUSE AS AN INCUBUS HE THINKS ANY LOVE OR ATTENTION HE GETS IS INNATELY COERCED? Without mentioning how because he got chased out of his hometown because of his blue eyes, he knows how damning attention can be too, with how his mother was cast out because she stuck with him he knows how dangerous just someone choosing him as a priority can ruin them. Being in the spotlight is a curse and by being magnetic you can be a plague—

He holds back. Can never be too wanting. Too possessive, too intense. He has to be a gentleman—the furthest possible thing from a monster who ravishes. It has to all be calculated, so he stays in control. Feeling like a monster because even as he tries to keep her at a distance, he can't let her go. He is possessive, he does lead her on, even as he tries not to…

Rin’s love for him for years and years STILL can’t be true because it’s all just. Not real. Her love is coerced, it’s manipulated, it’s forced out of her by magic and cunning and I am the worst man alive for it, even if just caused subconsciously or unwillingly— and an even worse one for sort of wanting her love despite it all. He’s ruining her life having her follow him and help his cause like he ruined his mother’s. It’s not me, it’s the fake, it’s the surface, it’s the magic…. He feels unlovable so of course with his bestie he wants to protect who’s into him it’s like, no I can’t indulge her that because it’s fake love it’s manipulated it’s just magic or brain chemistry or infatuation, anything that discounts it because I can’t allow myself to think it’s real and true and genuine and for me and if it was then it’s scary in new ways.

And the thing is that NOOOO Rin DOES know him she’s tired of his fake ass! She nags him because she cares and part of her gets really frustrated because of how much he hides himself under layers of pretense!! She’s reaching in and he’s pulling away again and again further and further away! They’re childhood friends, the only meaningful one that we know of, maybe the only one they had, and yes they went through trauma that defined their relationship but what fuels Rin to follow Kabru is that she knows he ISN’T perfect, because she’s worried for him. And he wants her there too but he also wants to keep her distant from him, he just wanted to get her out of the elves’ grasp, wanted her safe and free too, and still he lets her orbit around him without ever letting her in almost at all and it’s all sooo frustrating and!! Kabru taking on this "your love for me isn’t genuine :/" spiel would make them have such delish convos and wake up calls and arguments and augh the hurt/comfort…………. Can a harsh self-critic who won’t trust others’ assesments of him and a harsh tough love-r make it work…

Kabrin is so so sad…. From what we see you could say Rin is Kabru’s best friend and to me that’s the saddest thing because that feels more qualified by an absence of more/better friendships rather than how great they get along. But yeah there’s familiarity, there’s "i don’t want to leave her behind/be left behind"….. Just…..

Just the lifelong fear like an itch at the back of your mind you try to push down, that you feel like a monster that can’t fit in and belong and something is wrong with you, but can never truly let go Kabru’s layered so many images onto himself to adjust to everyone else that even he wouldn't even know who's good for him, thinks there's no one he could belong with well I bet…

Honestly a timeline where he’s miserable about it but pushes Rin into the arms of someone else because he would never want to hurt her and he doesn’t think he can provide for her right etc would go hard. Not letting it show, all smiles and "good for you! 😊 I’m glad", but Rin knows him enough that she notices he’s not being fully genuine, in the way his back is tense when he walks away…. She’s watched him walk away a lot after all, she’s followed behind his back a lot, after all. She knows him, like how he knows her and it’s insulting when he thinks that isn’t twoway in this relationship.

[corellianhounds]

Idk why everyone thinks Crosshair was the chaotic misbehaving brother as a cadet. Mr. “Good soldiers follow orders” even without the chip? Mr. “Loyal to the Empire” even after they destroyed all Kaminoan cities and facilities and didn’t care enough to come back and see if there were any survivors? Mr. “Not immediately swayed by emotional convictions” even when they belong to those closest to him who he should trust above unseen authorities?

Even if you think obedience and compliance was hammered into him by those in charge and he had to learn to keep his head down or face the consequences, that doesn’t explain why it takes him so long to eventually accept the truth, despite the mounting empirical evidence he receives after the most dire possible circumstances that should show him that those in charge are wrong. It isn’t until Mayday’s death that Crosshair finally accepts the truth because it’s then that he’s being directly told by the people in charge that he and everyone like him is expendable and unnecessary.

Somebody with a rebellious youth is much more critical of authority figures even if they’re presently obeying them, and they’re much more ready to drop said authorities the second it’s a viable option and they physically can. Crosshair doesn’t behave like a dog that’s been beaten its whole life, he’s constantly making active decisions not only to follow the Empire but to enforce what the Empire dictates, even when he’s the one reaping the direct consequences of pushback on the ground for it. Because that’s what good soldiers do.

This guy was the kid following the rules by choice and getting mad at the others for finding loopholes or accomplishing things the ‘wrong’ way, especially if and when it got all of them in trouble (because they were kids and wouldn’t have always been right). Rules and structure are there for a reason. We’ve been here less than ten years, what on earth makes you think we know more than the people in charge? Why do I have to be punished because you guys couldn’t do as you were told?

To me the four of them (and Echo later) are a sliding scale when it comes to decision-making based on head vs heart. Crosshair and Tech are on one side, using logic and reason over emotion as their basis for decision-making and how they see the world, and Echo and Wrecker are more on the heart/instinct side of reasoning, putting people and ideals ahead of simply accomplishing objectives despite what the odds might be against them. Hunter’s the balance in the middle, being able to see both sides and weigh what the best option is based on the evidence and the context within which it’s being given. All of them have different fluctuating percentages of what’s going to motivate or drive them day by day, just based on the context of their circumstances, but that’s the general scale.

I think Hunter as a kid probably realized if he could get all of them to learn the rules as quickly as they could, then they’d know how to break them effectively with the least amount of repercussions and collateral damage. They were an experimental group for a reason and were likely given a modicum of wiggle room when it came to problem-solving, the Kaminoans not just allowing but pushing them to be more creative, flexible, and adaptable. They all know the hard rules of structure, chain of command, and behavioral compliance, but after that they’re given more freedom of choice. Their personal convictions inform both the why and how of following orders.

Wrecker is easier to figure out because he wears every thought and emotion on his sleeve and sees no reason not to. He’s more of a follower— Thinking is for other people, he’s a busy guy and man of action, give him something concrete with actionable directions and he’ll accomplish it with aplomb.

Tech, as a kid, likely knew both the spirit and letter of the law, which means he could see problems and solutions objectively regardless of his personal feelings/opinions and knew that rules are there to be guidelines: No structure is perfect and always following rules exactly was never going to always be the right decision. He would choose whichever seemed like the most logical, obvious route to success, finding loopholes and workarounds where he could as a means of balancing the consequences or fallout of said decision.

Hunter also knew both the spirit and letter of the law, but he was able to read situations and people better than Tech was, relying more on his gut instinct to tell him what the best course of action would be, even if that choice wasn’t the most logical. He’s a mediator and the best choice of leader because of his ability to get people working together by knowing how to convince each of them in their own way that this plan will accomplish their objective AND lead to the most amount of people being satisfied/happy in the end, them included. Despite the fact Hunter’s more reserved, he’s still a people person. It just happens to come from empathy, observation, and instinct, the latter two being qualities he was designed to specialize in.

Crosshair obeyed the letter of the law because structure exists for a reason and if that structure has yielded the best results and most success for the longest amount of time, then it’s obvious it must be the right one in place. Loopholes can be taken advantage of, but only when there isn’t an explicit wording against it or there is clear and mounting evidence that the rule doesn’t apply to him. To deviate from the majority in matters of how something is achieved is acceptable; to do so in matters of why is not.

[gideonisms]

I want to write I want to make girls be weird about each other in MY word docs I want to have creative projects and goals againn :/