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wrestlezon · 1 year

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Forbidden Door 2023 PPV: I am now Reviewer Zon

Brought to you by: having thought about & chitchatted about the matches and wanting to collect my thoughts in one place

Overall: I was satiated by the ppv purchase, which is the minimum one can hope for, BUT! I also frequently went "wow! This is incredible!" while watching which exceeded my expectations. I skipped out on Forbidden Door last year because I have only a passing familiarity with njpw, and i didn't end up having regrets about that later. I'm glad I got it this year however, because the matches were good and I think the alternate-universe me who skipped on FB2023 is missing out.

more match by match rambling within:

i missed out on zero hour cuz I was busy u_u

mjf vs tanahashi

it was okay. Nothing stuck out as good or bad. Entirely average, no real takeaway. I also didn't have a takeaway from the swerve vs tanahashi match yesterday either, which is like uhh whoa? because I think swerve is cool and there's usually some sort of cool thing he does with someone in a match. like at least one memorable moment. But I also was kind of busy on Saturday so I could've just missed something. Maybe I'm just not familiar with tanahashi (because: I'm not) and just don't know what's cool about him? I certainly didn't stumble upon any such knowledge in this ppv match or the collision match. (shrug emoji)

I did like his look, and mjf's too, though! black and cyan looked good on mjf :)c

I noticed mjf's antics very transparently in this match, which I didn't mind too much because I usually like his antics. I don't know if it's accurate, but I'm going to pretend that his handshake kick spot is a callback to his indie-mjf days and that that ties in to his whole "njpw is an indie e_e" thing. I'm imagining more depth to this match, to enjoy it more?

Match: Eh

Fun: Okay.

punk vs satoshi kojima

im a huge punk fan and i was really excited for his slowburn descent into heeldom. then he got injured twice in a row and brawl out happened for reals. That was sad. But that was then and this is now, and now I am just very excited to 1) see him back and 2) doing heelish things. I think it is cool for him to get boos. Maybe he'll do a heel thing about it.

Satoshi Kojima seems like a cool old wrestleguy with prestigious history that I'm unaware of. I am vaguely aware that he is or used to be in a tag team called tencozy, but that's the extent of my wrestling knowledge. I wouldn't mind seeing more of him.

I liked punk's roh interview reference because I was wondering if he would reference it in the match somehow and then he did. I enjoyed recognizing it. I also enjoyed his goof at the end about being confused about which tunnel to walk into: the good guy tunnel or the bad guy tunnel. It's a good bit, in part because I think a lot of people have already made a solid opinion about whether or not he's a villain. I hope he keeps teasing about being evil or not, I think it's fun and cool because I think it's entertaining when he's a sarcastic dickhead in the ring. tee hee. cm punk!! hee heeeeee

Match: Okay!

Fun: yaaayy it's punk ha ha yayyyyy

orange vs zack saber jr vs shibata vs garcia

match of the night. match of all time. what a good fucking match. all four of these wrestlers were on the same page and had a shared vision. the funniest men alive and the wrestling was great too. naming all the spots would be a lil silly on my part but: everyone taking turns kicking orange's ass, and the whole zsjr vs shibata thing with garcia were two immediate standouts that made me give this match the seal of bigtime approval before it was even close to ending. And then the ending was also good and not bad. Solid match. Gold standard. Definitely on the rubric to judge all other matches by. I loved this match.

the all atlantic championship is the greatest title in wrestling. The highs are quite high, and I don't think I've been disappointed in a match yet.

Match: Incredible. Holy shit

Fun: HELL YES !!!!

sanada vs jungle boy jack perry

what I know about sanada: not a lot. I know he is a conventionally attractive guy and certain people* have publicly talked, at length, about how kissable he looks. he is in a group called just 5 guys, and is their leader, so I'd assume that makes him the most Guy of all time?

what I know about jungle boy jack perry: he has grown out of having his character being a tarzan from the jungle, which is too bad, because without that he's kind of just A Guy, which is a little boring personality-wise. But he's does have a little bit of style and panache when it comes to wrestling and doing acrobatic moves.

Like the mjf tanahashi match, this one didn't do much for me. I dunno if following the incredible 4way match contributed to it lookin kinda mid or whatnot. But I raised my eyebrow higher at the postmatch stuff than I did anything in the actual match. Curious to see what jungle boy jack perry's next moves are, as I thought they would've built this up more before pulling the trigger on him betraying hook. He certainly has the potential to be interesting as an evil guy, and I hope he can grasp it.

*aka chuck "doesn't everyone have a list of guys from New Japan they'd want to kiss?" taylor

Match: Eh

Fun: yawn

the elite + eddie and iishi vs bcc + takeshita and umino

This match was awesome. I'm a big fan of eddie so I really liked all the angles having to do with eddie: him teaming with the young bucks just to get to claudio, his endless beef with claudio, his relationship with jon moxley. I liked how there were a lot of those and all the bits that involved those angles ruled. The extended trading of chops between moxley and eddie was cool and also funny when other people tried to get involved.

additionally, I think the young bucks are alright but they did a lot of moves in this match that made me go "oh shit!!! that was fucking cool!!!" and I can definitely see why people are big fans of the young bucks because of that.

I especially liked the ending because while eddie sabotaged the elite a bit in the match, it was his guy that won it for them in the end. the elite are a little mad, but also concerned, and eddie's brushing them off. it's all very good. I love eddie.

Match: Wow!

Fun: YES!!!

toni storm vs willow nightingale

I needed to collect myself after the previous match, I don't like the antics of the outsiders or toni storm, and I figured they wouldn't let willow have the aew women's championship in addition to the njpw strong(?) championship anyway. All these points contributed to me not focusing on this match, at all. Sorry Willow :(

Match: sorry

Fun: not really...

will ospreay vs kenny omega

what I know about these two is that they're both top-tier proficient wrestlers who are best when they're up against another proficient wrestler they can go full tilt against. And they did indeed go full tilt in this match. It was a long match full of back to back violences. I swear the end was just them exchanging finishers on each other and hanging on by a thread.

The match was very intense and materially good but here's the thing about that: I am a huge fucking weenie and it's actually too stressful for me. Also I yelped with actual irl concern when ospreay dropped kenny right on his head (was that by mistake or... is... that how you're supposed to do that move...?? Ospreay is so aggro by default I can't tell the difference). Mistake or not, the rest of the match was them out to kill each other anyway, so... Yeah.

Also! I dont know enough about either of these two's wrestle-histories to find the fun in the details and references. Only in the presence of learned Kenny Omega Experts did I nod, with only the barest of understanding, at the kamigoye implications. I am familiar with how protected one winged angel is and the connotations, so when I saw ospreay set it up I was like O_O!? NO WAY but the kickout at one was simultaneously a WHOA and a Phew... But it's like, not a fun kind of stress? Maybe it's because I'm also not really a fan of ospreay :/

Double also, and I do think this is personally interesting to consider the distinction here, but the way I go "grr, you nefarious heel!" at someone like punk or cage and the way I go "grr, you nefarious heel!" at don callis is totally different and I cant pin down why. I don't find it fun to hate on Don Callis for whatever reason, I just think he's dastardly! My suspension of disbelief breaks, and instead of enjoying the narrative I am left grumpy. Like come on, how can he get away with returning to the ring after being thrown out! Sure, the ref might have been preoccupied making sure these two competitors were still breathing, but still... grr! Is that not DQ worthy!? It is his job to be hated, and I do hate him, beyond all logic and reason. I also got genuinely peeved when I watched that orange vs pac vs omega match from way back when and him cheating was the reason omega won. Even though it's predetermined or whatever, still, I'm like: augh!!! No!!! I guess it's a testament to his heelish ability to work me through my various layers of detached irony. But it's not fun. Hmph!!! I'm still hung up on him returning after being kicked out!! Ugh!!! Boo!!!!!

(this is probably exactly how people feel about punk too, now that i think about it. lmao. I wonder how that works...)

Match: Holy shit! Intense!! O_O

Fun: No :(

sting, darby, and tetsuya naito vs jericho, sammy, and minoru suzuki

I actually tuned this whole match out because I was recovering from the previous one. Not even a single brain cell left to process this. That being said, I did end up rewatching it the next day.

I do not care for sammy or darby in general, and this match did not change that. I liked tetsuya naito being a goof at sammy in the beginning, if his character is this slow/casual/lazy disrespect I think that's really cool! Minoru Suzuki is just a total badass and I'm so glad he got a "murder grandpa" chant from the crowd lmaooo. Jericho was funny, jumping excitedly for suzuki to tag him in and his sting yell impression bit shortly after. Sting was cool, I hope he didn't get too hurt from the table spot because I thought it was strange he just hobbled away during the jericho-naito pin fall attempt instead of doing something about that.

Match: tis alright

Fun: a little, actually! yeah!

bryan danielson vs kazuchika okada

the big main event. The big serious main event. Because it's going to be so serious, I will point out that the part of intro vid where danielson is on a mountain and looking at the wrestling footage in the sky was really really funny and made me laugh.

The handful of brain cells I had recovered by ignoring the previous match were immediately burned up by the time danielson's entrance finished. I can't believe they got the song. Anyway, I was too burned out from all the wrestling to process this match (I remember a lot of dropkicks, and I didn't expect the finish) so I rewatched it again the next day.

There were indeed a bunch of dropkicks, and they were cool! This is a very wrestle heavy match where a lot of wrestling took place. I usually appreciate shenanigans and there weren't a whole lot of those in here, but that's fine, I still found things to enjoy (like danielson returning a dropkick to okada on the outside of the ring after he got 2x dropkicked?) This match was intense like ospreay vs omega, but unlike that one it was less stressful because it was more grapple-heavy and that's less risky looking to me. Also, I like both danielson and okada. Double also, this match was not as long as ospreay vs omega so it did not wear me out.

I've seen only a handful of recent okada matches and im a fan for when he goes sicko mode and looks like :| and starts overkill kicking people. He kinda had one of those moments in the match I think, which was cool! I also didn't realize how tall he was until he walked danielson back to the middle of the ring.

Danielson loves to sell. He will find any excuse to sell. I think i remember reading something about him thinking it's really funny to trick people and tell lies (and also dramatically sell fake injuries), which checks out because when his foot got stuck in that ramp that one time a whole back he toooootally seized the opportunity to pretend he was greviously injured. Anyway, that's all to say that he also pulled that in this match, which I think would probably come of as kinda weird and maybe off-putting if you were watching it in real time. But with the hindsight superpowers afforded to me by watching the match later I know his arm got injured at some point so I guess he did that seizure bit so he can sell his arm being incapacitated to the crowd? Thinking about it from that angle, I think its pretty cool that danielson and okada were adaptable enough to change the end section of their match to account for it. I will just continue to hope and assume every scary injury I see from danielson in the moment is just him overly selling. <:)

Match: they put the "professional" in "professional wrestling"

Fun: sure!

Anyway that's all my words about wrestling! I hope you also enjoyed the ppv, or at least had fun bits you liked from it. It was a lot of wrestling to watch! I wish we got Adam Cole vs Tom Lawlor, but hey, stuff happens. Apparently Cole was running a fever? I hope he gets well soon!

#talkzon #reviewzon #I got bored and decided to spend my Monday doing this.

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derivativealigner · 4 years

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Well I haven’t watched sp all the way through for about a decade now, so I thought it was time

Sometimes I wonder how accurate the fandom is when it comes to how we interpret the characters. Like, why is Stan a football star so often in fanfic and why’s Kyle always the smart one? So I thought I’d rewatch the show and make notes along the way to see where the source of all these interpretations is. I also wanted to see if I could get some fun info to analyze, but season 1 is pretty sparse in that regard so there’s not too much of that in this post, but I’ll make a post for all the other seasons too as I watch them

In summary, it’s established in season 1 already that Stan’s a star quarterback and an animal lover, Kyle’s an A+ student, and Kenny is poor and knows a lot about sex and doesn’t have many qualms about doing crazy shit. Cartman is a bit weird since he’s mostly just a naive brat in this season, but he and Kyle have a mildly antagonistic friendship already

I have all my notes under this cut. They include a bunch of small details and other observations. I also listed every Kenny death just because

Ike has freckles

Cartman says “Weak!” and “You guys” and “Seriously” a lot from the start, also “Kickass!” He doesn’t say weak or kickass much in the later seasons iirc

Stan says “Dude, this is pretty fucked up right here” three times in this season but they dropped that catchphrase pretty quickly

Bebe got named in episode 2

Stan’s been an animal lover since s01e03 Volcano since he won’t shoot a bunny or anything else. He does shoot Scuzzlebutt at the end though

Cartman’s a pathological liar but in a childish way

Randy got named in s01e03 Volcano (and it only got worse from there)

The mayor went to Princeton

South Park is next to Mt. Evanson

Kenny will literally drink gasoline

Stan’s a star quarterback in 3rd grade

Clyde’s voice is wrong as hell in S01E04 Big Gay Al’s Big Gay Boat Ride and he has a dog, Rex

Garrison says Kyle is an A+ kid

Shelly seriously abuses Stan, punching him, throwing him, maiming him with a lawnmower

Cartman had a pot-bellied pig called Fluffy

Cartman’s mom smokes crack and has sex with strange men

Dr. Mephesto is probably a Buddhist since he says “Thank Buddha” instead of “Thank God”

Clyde’s voice gets kind of fixed in S01E06

A guy called Mr. McCormick is killed in a protest, launched and splattered against a network building. He doesn’t look like Kenny’s dad though

Zombie Clyde attacks Bebe, rude

Wendy gave her costume contest prize (2 tons of candy) to hungry children in Nairobi

Cartman’s mom is on the cover of Crack Whore magazine. “Back do’ ho… Five on one action!” is the headline

Cartman genuinely cries at Kenny’s grave after the whole zombie thing but gets over it because of candy

Stan knows his mom’s credit card number and has no problem using it to adopt an Ethiopian child (the boys wanted a watch that came with the adoption, they weren’t doing it to be nice)

Cartman calls Stan a vas deference, Stan doesn’t know what that is so Kenny says “Dude, it’s a pipe for your peepee” (according to a transcript). Kenny sure knows male anatomy

Kyle sniffs Kenny after Cartman asks why poor people smell like sour milk and Garrison says “idk eric they just do”

Cartman thinks poor people should die and decrease the surplus population

When the boys get Starvin’ Marvin delivered to them, Cartman says “Hey mom, we found an Ethiopian, can we keep him?” and his mom says “Sure, hun.” She rarely says no to Cartman

Kenny’s dad is an alcoholic who drinks scotch according to Cartman. I mean, Mr. McCormick is seen drinking in multiple episodes and has a hat that says SCOTCH so it’s probably true

Kenny’s family says grace

Craig’s first appearance is S01E09. Also, S01E09 is the first time Kenny doesn’t die (Coincidence? I THINK yeah but it’s still fun)

Clyde got named in S01E10

Clyde and Bebe both spit on Pip’s face, friendship goals <3

Cartman and Kyle have their first fight at Cartman’s birthday party because Kyle didn’t give the right gift. Cartman slaps his face and screams “I hate you! I want you to die! Die!” while on top of Kyle who’s not really fighting back

Satan throws a fight with Jesus after everyone except Satan bet that Jesus would lose, which leads to Satan winning everyone’s money. Mr. Garrison says “What a mean thing to do!” and Jimbo says “He is a jerk!” and I thought it was quite a laugh so I wrote it down

In S01E11 Tom’s Rhinoplasty Bebe and Wendy are sitting in the swings together and generally appear together throughout the episode, then Bebe gives Wendy a makeover so they’re bffs obviously <3

Craig first appears in the classroom, though not sitting down, in S01E11

Wendy’s not happy about Ms. Ellen taking Stan away from her, she says “Don’t fuck with me! Stay away from my man, bitch, or I’ll whoop your sorry ho ass back to last year!”

Kenny gives Ms. Ellen a scrumptious looking sausage as a valentine’s gift and giggles deviously. Wendy’s gift to Ms. Ellen is a dead animal

Even Kenny doesn’t know what a lesbian is

Wendy’s grandma died in S01E11

Wendy gets Ms. Ellen killed by hiring the Iraqi government (?) to put her in a rocket and shoot it into the sun, then she and Bebe have a pool party (very cool, they wear sunglasses 😎) and watch the rocket hit the sun

Cartman and Pip play a game of kicking each other in the nuts until someone falls. Cartman calls it “Roshambo”

Kenny has a sack of marbles

The boys aren’t fans of Barbra Streisand, but Stan is a fan of the Denver Broncos quarterback John Elway (he’s not a quarterback anymore, he’s an American football executive and the president of football operations for the Denver Broncos of the NFL according to wikipedia.)

Officer Barbrady is a fan of Fiona Apple (who was 20 at the time and had only one album released called Tidal)

Ned knows how to pilot a helicopter

Kyle’s mom is a fan of Streisand unlike literally everyone else, she even gets an autograph from Mecha Streisand

The boys are fans of Robert Smith, the lead singer of The Cure. Stan says “Robert Smith is the greatest person that ever lived!” and Kyle says “Disintegration is the best album ever!” and Cartman says “Robert Smith kicks ass!” and Kenny’s dead so he doesn’t get to have an opinion

Cartman has tea parties with his toys: Polly Prissypants, Clyde frog, Peter Panda, and a dragon called Rumpertumskin

Kyle wants to make fun of Cartman for the tea party but Stan stops him because he’s concerned that Cartman needs help

Craig is in front of the school counselor’s office in S01E13

A young miss Cartman drinks like a motherfucker at the 12th annual drunken barn dance where Cartman was supposedly conceived

Stan lets Cartman borrow his bike like a good friend

Garrison wanted to have a threesome with Chef and Cartman’s mom. I don’t know why I’m making a note of this but uh… yeah.

Cartman’s mom has had sex with everyone at this bar that Garrison’s drinking at, including principle Victoria, the mayor, Father Maxi, and Jesus (and maybe Kenny’s dad since he’s at the bar but the camera doesn’t pan to him when Garrison says they’ve all slept with Liane). Later Gerald Broflovski is a possible father to Eric, so he fucked her too. Also Mr. Mephesto and his friend Kevin, that little guy, are candidates along with a lot of other people, including the 1989 Denver Broncos (and Mr. Tenorman is included in that later)

Cartman doesn’t make fun of Kyle for being Jewish much at all in this season even though the Christmas episode is all about Kyle not celebrating

Clyde and Token appear very early on and Clyde has always been in the classroom (along with Bebe, Red, Kevin Stoley, Wendy, and Pip and uhh DogPoo too I think). Craig appears later in the season and Tweek’s not in season 1 at all, so Craig’s gang isn’t really a thing yet

And here’s a list of the ways Kenny died in this season. He dies in every episode except episode 9, and he dies twice in episodes 2 and 3. Altogether he dies 14 times

S01E01 Killed after alien shoots him, cows stampede over him, then cop runs him over which finally actually kills him

S01E02 Killed in a play by a falling teepee, then a second time shot by Garrison which sends him in the air and he gets impaled on a flagpole on the way down

S01E03 Killed by a volcano rock that burns him then rolls on him but he’s alive again in the end but gets shot by Ned’s gun that he drops and it accidentally goes off

S01E04 Gets his arms and head torn off in an American football game

S01E05 Stan’s clone punches Kenny into a microwave where he gets cooked alive

S01E06 Death touches Kenny

S01E07 Kenny gets crushed by a Russian space station and turns into a zombie because he gets Worcestershire sauce in his veins, then Kyle chainsaws zombie Kenny in half, then zombie Kenny rises from his grave and is crushed by a statue and a plane

S01E08 Kenny is killed by a bunch of turkeys. His eye gets plucked out. It’s dark blue

S01E10 After Kenny gets turned into a duck-billed platypus, Jimbo and Ned shoot him

S01E11 Ms. Ellen throws a sword through Kenny’s face

S01E12 While Mecha Streisand and a giant robot Leonard Maltin fight, Kenny plays with a tetherball and gets the rope wrapped around his neck and it strangles him

S01E13 Kenny gets stuck on a go kart and it drags him around but stops and he’s still alive! Too bad the go kart stops on train tracks and a train runs him over. Stan’s grandpa sends a video of the event to America’s Stupidest Home Videos and wins $10,000

If you read all that, first of all hello. I’m not new to the fandom even though this is the first thing I’ve posted on this tumblr blog. I’ve been writing a fanfic called Caffetamine though so I’m not a complete non-entity. Anyway, I’ll watch season 2 soon and post my notes on that too probably.

#south park #sp rewatch #i made way too many notes #kenny used to get dialog in almost every episode #poor kenny #he really gets shafted later

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tuiyla · 2 years

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I’ve been thinking recently about how perfect season 1 Santana’s behavior matches with her sexuality storyline, yet she wasn’t even being written as a lesbian yet. It was probably the best accident to happen on the show IMO because fans picked up on it beyond the interactions with Brittany, and then Naya pushing the storyline forward was even better. Specifically after she sleeps with Finn, and the way she sits very cold and seemingly disconnected from her current situation, almost in a dissociated state I might say, which might’ve been her tactic when it came to sleeping with men since she clearly had no joy when it came to it. Makes me sad and also a bit uncomfortable to think about, because it comes off as dubious and weird, since it was coming from comphet and clearly not something she really wanted to do but I digress. But back to her with Finn, she deflects from the situation making a comment about wanting a burger. It’s just so perfect and I can’t believe it was by accident. Then the stuff with Puck; she’s got an on and off thing with him, is okay breaking up with him because of his shitty credit score (lol) and treats him as a boy toy that she’s keeping around for fun. She gets possessive when he shows interest in Mercedes, and I think because he was her safety net, meaning she could hold him around like a doll saying “look! I have a guy!” should anyone question her.. sexuality.. and when she saw that going away she got freaked out and went after him. Besides that, she also only uses him for popularity, making it so clear she couldn’t care less about him romantically. The signs were all there.. This is just an appreciation message for how well it turned out, and how even when she wasn’t explicitly being written as a lesbian it still worked so so well with her journey. Sorry, did not expect to type that much, guess that’s what happens when I talk about Santana, lol, but I’d love to maybe hear some of your thoughts on this?

Okay Anon so first things first, I need you to understand how much I love this and love you for sharing with me. I also need you to know that I have so, so many thoughts on this and I sadly won’t be able to pour them all out in response to this. BUT, your ask did bump a planned meta up on my list of to-dos so let’s say I’ll get back to you within, uhh, a week? Hopefully. But just to illustrate that I’m not bullshitting you, here’s a screenshot I took of my reddit drafts and then uploaded to drive:

Yeah, October. It’s been at least that long since basically everything you mentioned has been living rent free in my mind. I love you because this is exactly the motivation I needed to get this out into the world so really, I’m on it. It’s second (okay, third) on my list of fandom priorities so fingers crossed that does mean about a week.

But anyway, all that aside I do want to reflect on this at least briefly, even though you just summarized a lot of the things I want to elaborate on in this first half of the planned meta haha. Wholeheartedly agree with your observations aside, I think you’re so right that it was the best accident. Because while it is important to acknowledge that none of this was intentional in season 1, that doesn’t mean it isn’t there. It lines up so perfectly it drives me a little insane to think about, tbh. Who cares about authorial intent when Santana’s interactions with Finn and Puck in season 1 scream comphet. I don’t know what writing gods blessed Glee with Santana’s story retroactively making so much sense but RIB are lucky bastards that’s for sure. And are we reading into it, sure, but does it make sense? Yes, yes it does. And I’m willing to dig.

So yes, thank you very much, don’t ever apologize for writing such accurate things about Santana haha and I’m making this promise right now that I’ll finish this cursed draft just for you. Well, and for my own sake too, one less unfinished draft.

#the rhi/sly has been published since then #and the kitty essay haunts my dreams #santana asks #santana's comphet #glee asks #anon #santanalysis #an ask is longer than my reply :O #worry not if i ever get this meta out it'll be a two-course meal #oh i forgot to mention #i'm attending a two year old's b-day party so that's one reason i won't be able to progress with it tomorrow lol #smh excuses excuses

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tarantulas4davey · 4 years

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more hc’s!! even though i’m in school!!

al mining all the way to bedrock with race and being like ‘hey babe can you get this block for me i’m gonna build our house try to get at least five okay?’

and race, clueless, is like ‘sure babe!’ and after twenty minutes race is loSING HIS MIND and al is like uhhh babe i kinda need it?? and race is like, near tears, IM TRYING IM TRYINF I SWEAR I SWEAR

eventually al tells him and race unplugs al’s computer

race speaking italian bc he’s stressed and al doesn’t know what he’s saying but dear god that’s so hot

people make a million gifs abt al’s face and race is like ‘oh so italian is a turn on for you huh?’ but race, little bitch, says it in italian and watches al live up to his nickname of red

one time al is rly tired as he’s streaming and just falls asleep at his computer and race is facing his computer and eventually he realizes he’s been rambling and that al hasn’t said much? and he’s like ‘uhh babe you okay?’ and then looks over and you can see the exact moment his heart bursts bc al just dozed off and he’s so cute and the comments r going crazy

al is pretty shy abt it he’s like oh my god they saw me sleeping that’s so embarrassing hey race stop!! it wasn’t cute!!! and race is like uhhh yeah it was but he’s still sweet ofc and al (who’s slowly becoming more comfortable with himself) is like oh. okay. and the fans are like THATS SO ADORABLE

someone points out at one point that race and al have the exact same follower count and they’re like !!! that’s actually so cute!!!

race’s background is him and al and al’s is just race and they’re so cute and so in love

race n al both getting super into the game and they’re put on opposite teams and become like. lethal. like race is super smart ofc but he’s not saying anything so al has NO idea where to find him, but alternatively, someone keeps killing race’s teammates and no one can seem to beat them theyre so strong??

at one point al walks in and race is like hey hey hey! it’s radioactive red! and starts playing radioactive by imagine dragons and al, bright red, is like i’m going to kill you slowly and race, cheeky bastard, is like ha that’s kinda hot babe and winks and al’s just turning even more red

and ppl are like????? wait wait wait how is al the top did you see how flustered he got?

race n al literally laying on top of each other and full body cuddles but they both get so red when they hold hands and everyone’s like? you just literally sit in each other’s laps but ok

izzy these are fucking incredible i’m dying 😭

- al is such a little shit he totally would do that. race unplugs albert’s gaming monitor but the one with chat is still up and the cameras still going for the stream so everyone can see race whack al in the head with rolled up magazine from his desk and albert just throws race over his shoulder and spins around in circles while chat is loosing its fuckin mind

- whenever albert and race end up on different teams in a game race isn’t as good at and can’t just,,,,, math his way out (i.e. rocket league) he babbles in italian and it got to the point where al would get so distracted he would end up loosing the game cause he’s too busy internally going holyshitthatsreallyhotholyshitholyshit. albert went absolutely scarlet when he saw all the gifs of it and he’s sitting on the couch scrolling through twitter and race walks up behind him and leans down and whispers “why didn’t you mentioned you liked my italian” in italian and albert just ✨looses it✨

- SLEEPY 👏 ALBERT 👏 he doesn’t fall asleep on stream very often, but they do 12+ hour charity livestreams at least once a month so,,,, tired red is a common occurrence. he lives in a perpetual state of,,, ruffled? messy hair sticking up in every direction, a voice that always kinda sounds like he just woke up, constantly reaching for some form of affection from race that’s vaguely reminiscent of a toddler that just woke up from a nap between games, the like. he’s also a very deep sleeper, and it makes his already young face go from about,,,, 19? 20? to like 16 at best. he’s definitely getting better about seeing himself more accurately and all the fans think it’s so cute he doesn’t vehemently reject all of race’s compliments anymore.

- of course these two would be cute about having the same follower count. at one point someone follows albert but not race and race threatens to unfollow albert just to fix it, but about 10 seconds later the person follows him too and all balance is restored to the universe

- they’re 100% eachothers phone backgrounds. their lock screens is that cute thing where race has the half of the picture with albert in it and albert has the half of the picture with race in it and when you set their phones next to eachother in makes one picture. albert’s home screen is art jack made of them for his birthday. and race’s is a picture from the disney trip when al proposed.

- race is trying to pick albert’s teammates off from a distance, and he does fairly well for awhile, but as smart as he is race doesn’t have that much experience (especially compared to albert) so race’s teammates are dropping like flies literally ALL OVER the map and race is just like “?????? how the hell who is doing that” and albert is just silently chuckling to himself from his desk. eventually race is the only one left and albert finds him and just laughs maniacally while race dramatically falls out of his chair when he dies.

- y e s ok so albert blushes REALLY EASILY and race is,,,, race, so he’s honestly not that easy to embarrass and the general ‘red being flustered’ thing makes people confused how he’s the top. that is, until once race is laughing at how red albert is and albert just leans over and whispers something to race and race’s mouth snaps shut and his eyes get all wide and he just immediately changes the subject and albert has the smug look on his face and suddenly,,,, it all makes sense and that face race made gets so memed and albert laughs for 20 years over it

- honestly yeah it’s like

race: *kisses al’s neck and sits in his lap to try and distract him while albert keeps playing with a straight face*

also race: *can’t stop giggling for 5 minutes cause albert locked their pinky’s while showing him something and using the mouse*

~ or ~

albert: *carries race around the gaming room in victory or will randomly kiss him full on the mouth cause he just thinks he’s pretty*

also albert: *goes pink every time race calls him any sort of pet name, especially in italian*

this was written while also trying to keep track of the one year old and six year old i’m babysitting so i apologize for any random mistakes. no small children were harmed in the making of this post 😆

thank you for all of these i love them so much jdhdjdjd

#newsies #livesies #racetrack higgins #albert dasilva #never not read the tags #ralbert #spam ralbert gang #chaotic red and radioactive racer #youtuber ralbert #youtuber!au #youtuber au #jess is gonna love this one #i can feel it in my soul #THE WAY I LIVE FOR EMBARRASSED RALBERT #just make them in love but also very flustered #i need to add more stuff about albert’s tattoos too so if you wanna hear my whole rant about it lmk

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gryffindorcls · 5 years

Text

Meant To Be: Chapter 4 (Your Voice)

IT’S DAY FOUR OF LOVESQUARE FLUFF WEEK 2020!!!

(I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’m a day behind. Thanks for your patience!) Thank you @lovesquarefluffweek for organizing this event!

Welcome back! Today’s prompt is “Your Voice”.

This chapter is a song fic. I used the song “Runnin’ Home to You” from the musical episode of “The Flash”. You can listen to it on Spotify here.

I also collabed with @flashflashitsash! She made some STUNNING art for this chapter. You can find it here.

Enjoy!

—

BEGINNING

<— Previous Next —->

AO3

FanFiction

Chapter 4: Your Voice

With the tape measure in hand, Adrien stood at the other end of the table and kept his eyes glued on Marinette. His heart melted when he saw her stick out her tongue while trying to get an accurate measurement. After they finished, she smiled and bounced on the balls of her feet, causing Adrien to nearly combust.

While he watched her write down the measurements on a piece of paper, his mind began to wander. “She’s always been beautiful, but my lady is the only one who’s ever made me feel this way. What changed? Why now?”

“Adrien?” Marinette said, cutting through the haze in his brain, “Are you okay?”

He nodded. “Yeah, why?”

“You looked kind of out of it for a second there.”

“Oh, I was just...thinking.”

“Cool! I do that sometimes...ugh...wait, that was probably the dumbest thing I could have said.” She shoved the paper with the measurements into her purse. “Please just ignore me.”

“She’s adorable. Maybe Plagg is right. The heart wants what the heart wants.”

He took a step toward her. “I don’t think I could if I tried. If anything, I think I’m finally seeing you for all that you are.”

“No! What are you doing, Adrien? What about Ladybug?”

She squeaked. “Oh! I...um...d-do you see what you like? I mean...like what you see?”

“Marinette, I think I always have,” he said without thinking.

“Maybe my heart wants her.”

Marinette’s face turned bright red, and her eyes grew wide. “School...us...go?

Adrien held out his arm for her to take. “Shall we?”

“Mmmhmm.” She tentatively took his arm.

An explosion of warmth radiated throughout his body when she finally hugged his arm against her chest. For a brief and fleeting moment, all of the confusion from before melted away.

It felt familiar.

It felt safe.

It felt right.

Like the moment they’d shared in the classroom earlier that day, Adrien was struck by the strength of his feelings for Marinette. Just as he was about to let himself completely fall for her, visions of Ladybug flashed across his mind. His arms tensed involuntarily while he let out a frustrated huff.

“Is everything alright?” she asked quietly.

“Um, yeah.” He scrambled to find an answer. “I...uhh...just remembered that I have to go home before I go back to the school.”

“Oh, I can walk with you!”

“But you live right here. I don’t want you to go out of your way.”

“I don’t mind. Honestly, before I met up with you, my plan was just to go back to my room and watch YouTube videos. It’s a beautiful day, and I’d love the company.”

Adrien’s pulled his hood over his head. “You mean, you wouldn’t mind walking with someone who has to hide their identity from nosy fans?”

She giggled and pulled the strings on his sweatshirt, cinching the hood around his face. “Nope. I wouldn’t even mind if you were wearing a mask. I’d still hang out with you.”

He loosened the hood and met her gaze. “Wait...really?”

“Of course. You’re still you, no matter what you’re wearing.”

“Sounds like you have experience.”

She turned her head and coughed. “Uhhh...no m-more than you!”

“It’s getting awkward,” his mind yelled, “Change the subject!”

He tapped his chin. “I wonder if Ladybug and Chat Noir act differently when they’re civilians. Being able to hide your identity like that must give them the freedom to do things they can’t usually do.”

“No, Adrien, what are you doing?”

“Well,” Marinette began, “everyone has a tendency to act differently when they’re in different situations. It’s probably the same for Ladybug and Chat Noir. For example, I can’t imagine civilian Ladybug doing half the things she does when she’s transformed.”

“You just said that a person is still themselves no matter what they’re wearing, so even if she’s not swinging between buildings every second of the day, I’m sure she’s still brave, selfless, and creative. I bet she’s an everyday Ladybug...just like you.”

Marinette took a sharp intake of breath. “We are going to run out of time if we don’t get going.”

Adrien pulled out his phone and looked at the screen. “Yikes, you’re right. We only have an hour. Let’s go.”

As the duo made their way to the Agreste Mansion, they chatted about school, video games, and their hobbies. Even though Adrien did his best to stay away from topics that had to do with Ladybug and Chat Noir, he couldn’t help but hear his lady in Marinette’s voice. He found it amazing how both girls sounded so similar.

“I must have a really specific type,” Adrien mused inside his head.

“Hey Marinette,” he said, stopping at the wall behind his house, “why don’t we talk more? I love hearing what you have to say.”

She looked to the side and tucked a stray hair behind her ear. “Well, we usually don’t get the chance to hang out alone with each other. Most of the time we’re with Alya and Nino. And then you weren’t there for a while because you were with…”

“Kagami?”

“Yeah. I heard about you two breaking up. I’m sorry things didn’t work out.”

“It’s for the best. We were too alike.”

She let go of his arm. “Oh?”

He took a step back. “Is everything alright?”

“Yes, sorry!” she said quickly, waving her hands in front of her, “It’s just that a friend of mine said the same thing to me last night. You remind me a lot of him actually.”

“That’s interesting. You remind me of someone I know, too.”

She smiled. “What a funny coincidence!”

He nodded. “I guess you and I just have certain qualities that we look for in friends.”

“At least you don’t pun as much as he does.”

“I hate to tell you this, but I love puns.”

“You do?” Marinette laughed. “Oh, no!”

He feigned mock hurt. “Excuse me, but I think you’ll find that my jokes are quite claw-some. Why even the Queen of England liked my puns when I went to the royal wedding.”

“You told puns to the Queen? Look, I’m not against puns, they’re fine. My dad uses them, but my friend has terrible timing. I hope yours is better, Prince Charming.”

“Oh, so, I’m a prince now?”

“Only a prince could tell puns to the Queen and live to tell the tale.”

“And how would you know that? Are you a princess?”

“I’m not royalty.”

“You could be.”

“I’m just a baker’s daughter. I’m not special.”

Adrien leaned in. “Yes, you are. You’re purr-fect.”

Placing her index finger on the tip of his nose, she pushed him away. “I take back what I said before. You’re not a prince. You’re just a trusted knight who learned one too many jokes from the court jester.”

He took her hands in his. “What if I was both?”

She let go of one of his hands and ran her thumb across his cheek. “That sure would make things easier.”

He cleared his throat, let go of her other hand, and pointed to the grate on his wall. “Oh, um...we’re here, by the way.”

“Adrien, this is the back of your house.”

“Yes, it is.”

“Can you not walk in the front door?”

“No, I snuck out.”

“Oh.”

“But I’m going to go back in and try to convince Nathalie to let me walk with you to school. I think she’ll say yes. Wait for me out front, and I’ll text you if I get permission.”

She shook her head and laughed. “I guess this is where I wish you good luck?”

Adrien patted his bag. “I still carry around my Marinette lucky charm wherever I go, so I have all the luck I need!”

“You do?”

“Of course, it’s one of my most prized possessions.”

“I still have yours. It’s in a special place in my room.”

Adrien felt Plagg poke his stomach from inside his sweatshirt. When he reached inside of his pocket to make him stop, his Kwami shoved his phone into his hand.

He pulled out the phone and looked at the time. “Yikes! We only have a half-hour left. I gotta get going. Hopefully, I’ll see you in a few minutes.”

“See you soon!” She waved and made her way down the sidewalk.

Once Marinette had turned the corner, Adrien knelt down, removed the bars from the grate, and shimmied through the small opening. He ran across the garden, climbed through the window, hopped into the bathroom, and snuck back to his room.

“I guess you’re no longer in love with Ladybug.” Plagg zipped out of the sweatshirt pocket.

Adrien sighed. “I don’t know. Marinette and Ladybug are so alike. I have no idea how to choose, but at least I took your advice. She and I are going to hang out after school today.”

“Good, but what about the food you promised me.”

“Marinette’s family owns a bakery. I’ll buy you something there.”

Adrien grabbed his books, shoved them into his bag, and made his way to Nathalie’s desk.

“Yes, Adrien,” the assistant said before he could announce his presence, “What do you need?”

He fiddled with the strap on his bag. “I was wondering if I could walk to school with my friend Marinette. It’s such a nice day, and it’s not that far.”

“You know your father doesn’t like it when you’re not with your bodyguard.”

“Please, Nathalie? She’s waiting outside the front gate, and I don’t want her to have to walk back on her own.”

“Fine, but you two won’t be walking. She will come with you in the car.”

While it wasn’t what he wanted, he knew arguing wouldn’t help. “Okay.”

She pushed up her glasses with her index finger. “Is there something else you need?”

“Could I hang out with Marinette after school? It’s Friday, and I’m done with almost all my homework for the weekend.”

“You have a photoshoot in the morning.”

“I won’t be out late. I promise.”

Without responding, Nathalie stood up and walked into his father’s office. When she returned, she sat down at her desk and started typing.

“You have until seven o’clock,” she said without looking up from her computer.

A surge of excitement flooded his brain. “Thank you!”

He pulled out his phone, texted Marinette, and ran outside. When he got there, his bodyguard was opening the car door for his classmate. He quickly hopped into the other side of the vehicle.

“Sorry, we’re not walking, but this was the best I could do,” he said with a shrug.

She buckled her seatbelt. “Compromise isn’t the worst thing in the world.”

“You’re right.”

“Besides, we are running out of time. We only have twenty minutes of our lunch break left.”

“We do? I was hoping to buy something from the bakery before we headed back to class.”

“Did you not eat?”

“No, I didn’t.”

“I have to stop by my place anyway to grab my backpack and give my dad these measurements. Come in with me, and I’ll have my mom give you something from the bakery.”

“I have money.”

She crossed her arms. “And it will be useless in our store. My parents are always forcing food on my friends, and my mom would be more than happy to give you something.”

“Your parents are awesome,” he said, feeling a pang of jealousy in his gut.

“They are. They’re a little nosy, but they’re great. My parents treat all my friends like family. You know you’re welcome to come over whenever you want, right?”

“I am?”

“Yeah, I have friends over all the time.”

“That would be amazing.”

The car pulled up to the bakery, and both teens hopped out. They were greeted by two smiling faces when they walked through the door.

“Hello, Adrien!” Sabine greeted cheerfully.

“Sorry it took me so long to get the measurements.” Marinette handed the paper to her father. “I ran into Adrien, and we started talking.”

“That’s fine, sweetheart.”

“Maman, would it be okay if I grabbed a few croissants. Adrien didn’t eat any lunch.”

Marinette’s mother gasped. “Well, that won’t do! Come here, my dear, and we’ll pick out a few things.”

Adrien didn’t try to contain his excitement. “Thanks, Mrs. Cheng!”

“Anytime.”

While he looked at the case of treats, Marinette’s father spoke to her with a booming voice. “I know it’s short notice, but I’m going to need you to help me with setting up over at the venue tonight.”

“But, papa, Adrien wanted to hang out with me after school.” Marinette drooped.

Adrien couldn’t stand to see her looking upset. “I can help out if you want.”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to,” she said sadly, “We can hang out another time.”

“No, I insist. If I go home, I’d just sit around watching YouTube videos all night.”

“Okay. Thank you, Prince Charming.” She said with a curtsey.

He laughed and bowed. “Anything for you, Princess.”

***

Once again, Marinette found it impossible to focus in class. She spent the rest of the school day daydreaming of blond boys in disguise.

Nothing made sense anymore. Her heart felt like it was being stretched to opposite sides of the earth, and she didn’t know what to do.

Once school was finally over, she and Adrien made their way over to the bakery. They spent the next several hours carrying various items over to the venue. By the time they were finished, they were sweating and laughing. She never wanted their time together to end.

When Adrien finally left, Marinette sat alone with her thoughts. She did her best to focus on something other than her troubled heart, but memories of the time she spent with each boy continued to dance through her mind. She tried distracting herself by designing, watching videos, and working on homework, but nothing she did was able to calm her down. She felt restless.

Marinette climbed onto her balcony and allowed the cool breeze to caress her face. She closed her eyes and attempted to sort out her thoughts.

The time she’d spent with Adrien today was like a dream come true. It was everything that she’d ever wanted, and it seemed like he was starting to think of her as more than just a friend. At the same time, today made her realize that there were still so many things that she didn’t know about Adrien. It was as if there was a part of himself that he kept hidden from the world. The thought of getting to know that side of him excited her.

As her mind began to picture what a relationship with Adrien would look like, her thoughts wandered to Chat Noir. Last night had been proof that her love for him had always existed, and there was no question that he was deeply in love with her. However, she also knew that their job as superheroes would get in the way of them having a real relationship with each other.

“If only I knew Chat as a civilian, Tikki. That would make all of this so much easier,” she said, looking out at the Parisian skyline.

The tiny red being landed on Marinette’s shoulder. “Well, as the Guardian, you are more than welcome to…”

“Wait!” she exclaimed, cutting off her Kwami, “I think I hear something.”

Marinette closed her eyes and could just make out the faint sound of a piano playing in the distance. When her eyes landed on the park, she saw light pouring out of the gazebo in the middle of the venue.

“It’s Chat,” she whispered, “He came back, Tikki. I have to go see him!”

The kwami giggled. “Then go!”

“Tikki, SPOTS ON!” she yelled, letting the bright pink light wash over her.

She quickly unsheathed her yo-yo and swung down to the park. She landed inside the fenced-off area and quietly made her way to the gazebo. When she reached the decorated entranceway, she found Chat Noir playing the same song he’d played for her the night before.

“Hello, Chat.” She sat down next to him on the bench.

He stopped playing. “Good evening, Ladybug. It’s not a patrol night. Any purr-ticular reason you’re here?”

“I’ve had an interesting day, and I heard you playing. I was hoping you would let me listen to your song again.”

“Anything for you, my lady.”

“Thank you.”

He positioned his fingers on the keys, paused, and looked up. “Actually, I was wondering if you would indulge me for a moment.”

She nodded. “Uhh...sure?”

“There are words to the song, and I was hoping you would let me sing them for you.”

“You mean, it’s not just the melody?”

“Is it okay if I sing?”

“Oh, yes, I would love to hear the words.”

She rested her head on his shoulder, and he simply smiled and turned his attention towards the keys. When he played the first chord, her heart soared.

And then he began to sing.

“Can't say how the days will unfold,

Can't change what the future may hold.

But, I want you in it.

Every hour, every minute.”

Tears began to form in the corners of her eyes. She could feel the ache in his heart, and she suddenly longed to hold him and never let him go.

“This world can race by far too fast.

Hard to see while it's all flying past,

But it's clear now,

When you're standing here now.

I am meant to be wherever you are next to me.”

The depth of his love struck her soul. It was unlike anything she’d ever experienced before.

“All I want to do

Is come running home to you,

Come running home to you.

And all my life I promise to

Keep running home to you.

Keep running home

To you.”

She tried to picture a relationship with Chat in their civilian lives. Ladybug did her best to remove the mask from his face, but to her despair, Adrien’s face popped into her mind, reminding her of the decision she had to make.

“And I could see it,

Right from the start,

Right from the start.

That you would be

Be my light in the dark,

Light in the dark.

Oh, you gave me no other choice

But to love you.”

She was hopelessly in love with both of them, and she had no idea what to do. Tears began to flow freely down her cheeks.

“All I want to do

Is come running home to you,

Come running home to you.

And all my life I promise to

Keep running home to you,

Keep running home,

Home to you.

Can't say how the days will unfold.

Can't change what the future may hold.

But, I want you in it,

Every hour, every minute.”

When the last note faded away, they sat in a comfortable silence. They didn’t move or speak for several minutes.

She sniffled. “Thank you, Chaton.”

“No.” He shook his head. “Thank you for letting me sing.”

“It was beautiful.” She got off of the piano bench and clutched her yo-yo in her hands. “I have to go. I’ll see you tomorrow for patrol.”

Chat kept his eyes glued on the keys. “I’ll see you tomorrow, my lady.”

She threw her yo-yo and vaulted into the night. When she landed on her balcony, she detransformed, collapsed into a heap, and sobbed.

“Why couldn’t they be the same person?” she thought, before a pair of strong, familiar arms gently wrapped themselves around her.

#miraculous ladybug #miraculous ladybug fic #my fic #Meant To Be #Chapter 4 #lovesquarefluffweek2020 #fluff #your voice #adrienette #ladynoir #so much fluff #they are oblivious beans #they'll figure it out #fanfiction #ao3 #adrien agreste #marinette dupain cheng

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ultraclops · 4 years

Text

Semi-Live Blogging: Finale Time!

With reaction images this time!

Adoradad

TRAINING EXERCIIISE

Adorabat's practicing her screaming! Bet that's gonna come in handy later.

"Fneh!" Wow what an introduction Eugene

His design is like? Really cool?? He looks practically nothing like Adorabat tho. And why does he have a spade on his stomach instead of a heart??

Badgerclops drew him with a giant ass mustache lol.

Adorabat takes banjo lessons? More importantly, Eugene thought she was at a banjo lesson FOR 8 MONTHS?!

"She scares me" lol

Adorabat ran away from home? Why?

"I thought you were a ward of the state!" Remember when everyone thought Adorabat was an orphan? Yea.

"I thought you were my conscience!" Badgerclops...you've lived with Adorabat for a year...went to her school...AND YOU THOUGHT SHE WAS A PIECE OF YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS?!

...why did Badgerclops use Adorabat as monster bait...

I expected to hate Eugene but he's actually really cute and interesting?? Aside from the fact he thinks Mao Mao & Badgerclops are criminals. Love to see him again sometime!

Wow her dad has a whole badass mansion!! Why doesn't she just stay there...

Oh...her mom died...that's why he's so protective of her and was so upset when she left. Also her mom looks amazing & I wanna see a flashback episode with her. For some reason I can imagine her sounding like a deeper version of Scoops?

Aww Adorabat's room is super cool! Also Eugene cracking the door for her asfgjkl

"Do you think that monsters attacking the city are gonna - wait, does that have peanut butter in it? " (Cuts to MM & BC eating ice cream while crying) That's a perfectly rational reaction to losing your adoptive daughter

"I can keep it together!" (Cut to Mao Mao trying and failing to shovel ice cream in his mouth with his helmet on) NSADGEDHAMADH

Wait a second. Mao's eating mint chocolate chip ice cream. ISN'T CHOCOLATE TOXIC TO CATS?!

"But you said I was part of the team!!" "Then you're...off the team."

Adorabat crying while showing Eugene the picture OUCH MY HEART...

"I used to go exploring in those caves with Mom all the time..." I'm guessing those are the caves from the promo?

"She wasn't afraid of anything!" " Well Adorabat definitely takes after her mother...

"And then one day, Sonara didn't come back with you." Ooh her name's Sonara!! Pretty!! I can't tell if they chose it cuz it sounds like Sonar or because it means "pleasant sounding"

Glad to see Adorabat's still a die-hard metal fan, even with Eugene

Oof Mao isn't taking this well at ALL if he's pretending Adorabat's molt is her...

OOH SHIT ADORABAT RAN OFF TO THE CAVES - wait a minute no she didn't. OH NO EUGENE WENT TO THE CAVES

Ooh there's Sonara's looking glass, bet that's gonna be important

Yay Adorabat saved her dad!

Damn Adorabat must be super traumatized after basically watching her mother die. No wonder she tried to murder Boba-Chan!

Oh the only way to stop the monster is by screaming!

(Mao Mao hears Adorabat scream) "ADORABAT?!" ADOPTIVE DAD POWERS ACTIVATE

Ooh her mother's figure appears over her when she says she's not afraid of anyone...maybe her spirit's inside of her or something?

REVENGE TIME BAYBEY

HOLY SHIT ADORABAT FUCKING MURDERED THAT THING

Eugene & Adorabat both apologized to each other I...

"You can't just leave without the most fearless member of the group!" YAAY ADORABAT'S BACK (Also how are we gonna explain to Eugene Adorabat's scared of the dark?)

"I'll mess 'em up real good! So good, their mommies and daddies won't be able to recognize them when I'm done..." Daaammmnnn...

"She scares me :)"

I wonder...is Sonara really dead? Or are they gonna pull a Kipo & have her still be alive but in a different form?

Badge-A-Fire explosion

Uhh...where is Badgerclops? And why is Mao Mao on the top bunk?!

Of course Badgerclops is petty enough to install a fake monster alarm on his laptop to wake Mao Mao and Adorabat up.

"This is a super-serious work meeting, as you can see by the fact that I haven't provided any snacks!" No snacks?! This must be a serious issue!! /s

"As you know, I am a creative genius. Sometimes there's so much natural creative genius that my brain overloads, and I enter a heightened state that I call 'Ultra Focus'..." Oh so basically like hyperfixation?

"...where I break into a creative sprint, inventing super-advanced technology at supernatural speeds, unparalleled by anyone in the entire field of science." Okay maybe only a LITTLE bit like hyperfixation...wait a second, IS THAT WHY BADGERCLOPS IS SO TIRED ALL THE TIME?!

Uhh did he get his arm stuck in the front door? HE TOOK THE AEROCYCLE?!

"...I forget everything the next morning." Remember my headcanon that Badgerclops represses his memories? Yea...

"Which is why it's not my fault and I don't think I should be criticized :D" TBH I screamed with laughter at this scene solely because of the expression he made

...HE GAVE THE SKY PIRATES THE GEM CELL?! I mean he clearly wasn't thinking right when he did it BUT STILL?!

"Oh hey, I told you I'd use that weird elevator thing!" Dude you LITERALLY used it in Ultraclops. What are you talking about.

"If the Sky Pirates had the Gem Cell, they would've used it already!" That is a fair point ngl.

Umm...did Badgerclops give Adorabat a BOMB?!

Tbh if my friend woke me up in the middle of the night with weird-looking eyes and handed me a timer while saying something about an explosion I would DEFINITELY not go back to sleep afterwards...

I'm sorry, IS THE WHOLE VALLEY GONNA BLOW UP?! WHAT THE HELL DID HE MAKE?!

Mao wiping Badgerclops' tears I'm

A paper towel dispenser? Well that's not that bad - IS THAT A GIANT PAIR OF PANTS?!

Ooh it's not a shock collar it's a translator!! That makes a bit more sense... "I HAVE NO REMORSE OR CONCEPT OF EMPATHY!" ...if the monster doesn't have remorse or empathy how does it know what those words mean...

Badgerclops keeps telling Mao Mao & Adorabat not to criticize him...hmm...I wonder who criticized his inventions that made him that way...*cough* HIS MOM *cough*

"Are all your inventions this weird?!" "YOU'RE WEIRD!!"

IM SORRY DID BADGERCLOPS BUILD A DANCING MACHINE INTO MAO MAO'S BONES?! HIS BONES?! AND HE MADE ADORABAT A SECOND MEGAPEG?!

What in the absolute hell is going on dgaadhdagdadga

Okay but when Badgerclops clutched his head and started shaking when Mao Mao asked why he made those things...I FELT THAT IN MY HEART I FELT THAT IN MY SOUL

Ngl this scene really hit home for me cuz that's how I act when I have a breakdown...

The timer went off but nothing blew up - WAIT, IS THAT A REPLICA OF MECHA HOSSORAFFASNAKEARANG?!

"Initializing Totally Humane Knockout Procedure." (Proceeds to slam the Sheriff's Dept. into the ground) ajdajdgdad

Ooh...ohh they're on some sort of water park...ride...thing??

"And if I didn't want us to get out, then I made sure we couldn't...with super-strong shoe things." But there isn't any on Adorabat, can't she just squeeze herself out?

Ooh I'm getting Pirates of the Caribbean vibes

There's the Gem Cell, it must be powering the ride! Also the robotic arm slaps Mao's hand the same way Mao slaps Badgerclops' hand in Flyaway skkkk

"My amazing creativity is finally gonna destroy us all..." "Hey, at least we'll be destroyed together!" Fair point, fair point

The shoosh returneth

"I always loved inventing." So he was an inventor ever since he was little? Daww.

YOUNG BC IS SO ADORABLE!! He has a lil medical patch instead of an eyepatch which is def more accurate to real life...but what's the vest for? Protection in case he falls? A pressure stim?

That figure's def his mom since they rejected his ideas & he mentions she was mean to him. Also the theory that his mom's a villain seems a bit stronger since they straight-up hand him a tool kid + a set of blueprints with no regard to his safety...

"Also there was a bunch of other kids at school and some other people throughout my life who mocked me relentlessly." THEN WHY'D YOU TELL ADORABAT YOU COULDN'T RELATE TO HER WHEN SHE SAID NO ONE WANTED TO BE HER FRIEND?! (Also I noticed literally all the kids are other badgers, so I'm assuming Badgerclops grew up sheltered like Mao Mao did.)

So the Ultra Focus is basically a really weird coping mechanism to deal with all the abuse and bullying he went through? Holy fuckkk

"They only made fun of you because they were jealous. Happened to me my whole life!" Umm...

"Even the dance chip I surgically implanted in your brain?" Excuse me the dance chip that you WHAT

"I love you-" HE SAID IT 💗💓💗💓

"I'm finally around people who love and understand me..."

Wait did the cannon misfire? DID IT BLOW A HOLE IN THE GROUND?!

OH HE ACTUALLY DID CREATE AN ANIMATRONIC BAND?! I THOUGHT IT WAS A JOKE!!

"Take it away, Boss Hosstritch!" (Distorted garbling)

Oof Mao caught all the water

"We hope you all enjoyed being Badgerclops' friend." 💞💕💞💕

Not that anyone cares but I noticed there's a picture of some of the Sweetypies on the monitors, meaning 1. Badgerclops tested it out using them first, or 2. Badgerclops just likes those Sweetypies for whatever reason. Tho that makes me wonder why he'd choose Pinky of all people...

THE SKY PIRATES WERE INSIDE THE ANIMATRONICS THE WHOLE TIME?! THE MAN BEHIND THE SLAUGHTE

Zing Your Heart Out

Why are they giving out rotten sushi??

"HOW DARE YOU LAUGH AT ME EATING SOMETHING GROSSLY?!"

Ooh god Chester's gonna be super freaking annoying in this episode, I can feel it.

"What's blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint!" BAYBEY

Jesus what a prick. GET HIM MAO MAO

Ngl that background's really pretty...

Oooh no the Ruby Pure Heart's being weird again. Ooh no.

FUCK YEA ROAST HIM BABY - Did Adorabat's eyes turn purple because the Ruby Pure Heart gave her powers?

Oh so the siren in Badgerclops' robo-arm is a backup monster alarm?

More Sky Pirates - and the Pure Heart's being weird again...

"I'd tell you but despite your height it'd go right over your HEAD!" Asdfgghjjk

"For someone with two brains, you're not very BRIGHT!" EVEN BETTER

Kevin said he was raising money for a school trip, then for a trip to the hospital...which one is he raising money for?!

"SILENCE PANCAKE, LEST YE BE BUTTERED"

OOH NO SHE ATTACKED MAO AND BC

"IT FEELS LIKE THE WEIGHT OF ONE THOUSAND PLANETS!!"

"One second, I'm getting mad, and the next thing you know-" Is she freaking possessed??

Wait, is the Pure Heart TALKING to Adorabat?! How?!

Cluckins you don't ask people what's wrong with their eyeballs...even if there is something wrong with their eyeballs

"I CAN'T FEEL MY SELF-RESPECT!!"

The pure 'oh shit' on Marion's face when Adorabat turns to her

Half of the people she insulted showed up to her party! Didn't that mean she loved them?!

Oh god not this bitch again - nvm, thanks Adorabat

"Taking over the castle and ruling Pure Heart Valley forever does sound nice..." This is starting to remind me of that one AU where Adorabat turns evil, becomes the ruler of the Sky Pirates, then convinces them to kill Snugglemagne and becomes the queen of Pure Heart...she isn't gonna kill Snugglemagne, is she?

What did Adorabat tell Snugglemagne?! I WANNA KNO

Why is Pinky stealing teeth...reminds me of this

NO BC DON'T EAT THE TEETH

"I...hate myself! Therefore, I'm invincible!" So the trick to not getting your ego destroyed...is to not have an ego. Sounds reasonable.

"Your bug platter, my king?" Genderfluid Adorabat rights

"Mao Mao, your head looks like a CROW!" (Mao Mao caws) IT WAS A LIE HE ISN'T A CAT HE WAS A CROW THIS WHOLE TIME-

"It looks like a half-melted ice cream cone!!" That is...a strange way to describe your own neck...

"Well, I'm...bad (◡‿◡)" Kinda weird that the canonically depressed character can't even cleverly insult himself

...why does Adorabat's skin smell like old cantaloupe

OH SHE IS POSSESSED!!

HOLY SHIT MAO WAS GONNA FUCKING MURDER ADORABAT TO SAVE THE KINGDOM?! THANK GOD HE SAW HER JOKE BOOK, HOLY SHIT

Positivity outweighs negativity!

"WHERE DOES A 800 POUND GORILLA SIT?!" "Where ever it wants!◝(⁰▿⁰)◜" Curse you for making me laugh...

OOH NO THE JOKEBOOK! - Wait nvm Mao remembers Adorabat's jokes!

I think the reason they used that joke is because it represents Mao Mao and Adorabat - Adorabat is blue, and she wants to be like Mao Mao, who wears red. What is BLUE, and smells like (is similar to) RED paint?

YAAAY HE BROKE HER FREE FROM MIND CONTROL!! And did BC get Thanos snapped in the background?

"Thank goodness you're alright! We almost..." Fucking murdered you? Yea

"Might we have our crown and kingdom back, yes?"

"Sorry for being such a monster today." "You're a monster everyday." Is that a joke because she was today's villain, a reference to Sleeper Sofa or foreshadowing?

I hope Mao Mao and Badgerclops decide to investigate what's up with the Heart in Season Two, cause I highly doubt they'll let Adorabat getting fucking possessed go under the radar.

The visual gag of Mao trying to stomp out his ice cream cone like a cigarette is perfect. This is peak comedy everyone else go home

WHOOP CHESTER'S ASS GUYS

Strange Bedfellows

"So, your name is Boss Hosstrich, but you're not actually the boss?" How long did it take him to realize that

JFC Mao & Orangusnake are REALLY hellbent on killing each other huh...at least the deputies and the other Sky Pirates have common sense.

Hahaha nice Dragon Ball Z reference - and they both got crushed by the monster! Lovely.

...did Mao seriously think he died and went to heaven?

So does Orangusnake breathe through Tanner or do they both breathe independently & Coby can feel when Tanner can't?

Dang those skeletons remind me of the Steven Universe Future episode Growing Pains. And why is Lucky inside of Orangusnake? "THAT WAS MY LUNCH, JERK!" Ooh that's why.

"They're full of these tiny, little cracks or, as they're known in the medical field, 'whoopsie-boo-boos'." AGSADGASGADGDASG

Damn their skeletons are just gonna freaking evaporate huh...

"The doctor said I was very brave :D"

Ooh shit the Deputies and the other Sky Pirates met at the same elevator, are they gonna fight - nevermind, they're still calling time.

JESUS CHRIST ARE MAO & ORANGUSNAKE EVER GONNA STOP?!

"You don't have the guts!" "I have a million guts." That is...mildly concerning

"Yeah, I wanted to be a baker, before I realized I liked hurting people so much." Then why doesn't she just like, help Muffins or something?

Tbh I thought Ratarang was holding a gun and I'm glad it was just a weirdly wrapped banana

CONE OF SHAME. CONE OF SHAME. CONE OF SHAME.

"Aww, y'all shouldn't have - this is empty." "Just like my heart when you injure yourself!!" He loves him sm...💓💓

"Why didn't you bring me weapons?!" "Because this is a hospital, and I'm a good boy (◡‿◡ )"

"I really feel like this could be a turning point in their relationship." (Mao and Orangusnake proceed to try and kill each other again) *sigh*

Ngl Mao & Orangusnake constantly repeating themselves is getting super annoying.

That hospital bed beeping is giving me flashbacks to all the times I went to the hospital for seizures...

"You know y'all could live like this, like, all the time if you didn't go around hurting people, right?" "Pssh! Tsk-tsk, boy. You know I gots to hurt people." Uhh you guys should really listen to Badgerclops he knows what tf he's talking about

UUhh, whose egg is that? "MAMA" ASGagddahDh

Of course they had to land in freaking CEMENT to realize that maybe they shouldn't kill each other

Did Mao just deflate like a ballo- oh nvm there he go.

Boneless Mao. Boneless Mao.

And Mao saved Orangusnake!! By...breaking every bone in his body somehow.

"I'm the kind of hero who wants to save you so I can fight you later...at the right time and place." Just gonna file this along with the credit score scene from Perfect Couple in the 'Orangumao' folder.

Is Badgerclops duct taping Mao to the stretcher? I mean, at least he won't move & hurt himself again but geez

Tbh Zing would’ve made a better finale than this ep. At least it had a sequel hook

#semi live blogging #semi-live blogging #//long post #// long post

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gouteruneboulangerie · 4 years

Text

Antheia

Hello DW universe! I’m a long time fan who hasn’t written anything since high school (trust me, that’s been quite a long time). But a mix of inspiration, creativity and COVID quarantine has put me back on the saddle, full gallop!!! I’ve been working on an OG character x Dh!Master story. I’m super nervous though, since it has been a long time since I’ve done this, and I’m not actually the best at accurate writing. (That’s code for I do I what I want and follow no rules when it comes to professional writing...) I’m actually a professional baking and pastry cook (if you look at my account you’d be able to deduce that...I lost my other tumblr account years ago.) So, if anyone has a random pastry/baking question, I’d be more than happy to answer those. And I’ll take (constructive!!!!) criticism, please don’t be rude, no one needs that in their life, and it just comes back as Karma to you, so think twice. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this, please let me know you’r opinion on it, cause I have more chapters....

I wanted to go with a sort of collection of domestic scenes within the TARDIS between my og character and the Master, but it starts with how they meet. And I’m thinking of having little adventure blurbs as well. The chapters are relatively short. And yes, I did make the og character a baking and pastry chef....I’VE HAD NO INGREDIENTS OR KITCHEN SPACE TO BAKE FOR THE PAST TWO MONTHS I NEEDED AN OUTLET!!!! So, yeah... HEEE, the nerves!!!

Chapter one is the official first meet between the two.

Enjoy!

-k-dubs113

Uhh...for this chapter, the only warnings are a few curse words?? I don’t know how warnings go for these kinds of things (please someone let me know, cause future chapters get a little....dark. They’re two insane time travelers what do you expect!?!)

Chapter One: Antheia

The Master looked out the castle window and saw a young lady walking the edge of the river. Dressed in an eclectic style, considering the era, she had a multitude of braids in her hair each adorned with an abundance of different coloured flowers. The basket hanging from the crook of her left elbow was filled with green plants while her left arm held a wooden pipe which she kept bringing up to her mouth, breathing out the smoke like second nature. An almost cheshire cat smile was plastered on her face, a smile which told of her giddiness towards her actions while hiding a secret agenda of her own accords. One might even think her a little insane due to the random bout of laughter she gave off when she found a patch of mushrooms.

“You.” the anger flowed through his tone like wind through an open window. “Who is she?” he asked when the trembling guard came to the window.

“Th-that’s the Chef, Master. You can find her in her quarters, next to the kitchen.” he told the ground. How the Master hated when people didn’t talk to him directly. He took out his TCE and immediately shrunk the man.

Two weeks ago the Master had come to this kingdom in Surrey, England, killing his way to the top, which only took a couple minutes, and became the new ruler of this obnoxious empire. Though he was aware that the village continued its daily routine, albeit with much more caution and fear, everyone within the castle grounds were either dead, well miniaturized, or scared shit-less doing whatever he told them to do. Except this, so called, chef. He looked back to her and saw her smelling a bouquet of green grass before taking a large bite out of it. ‘Yeah, she’s insane.’ the Master thought to himself, only allowing the left corner of his mouth to twitch up. But still, she wasn’t living in fear of him and that needed to change. Now.

The Master found his way to the ‘chef’s’ quarters and sat himself at the two-top table. There he waited for the return of this insane child.

_______________________________________________________________

“Well, ‘ello!” I said, rather loud but without a care in the world. “How are ya? Living the life I presume? You know, some creatures get all the luck, you just live your own little life, without any worry except to get busy and then you die!” I watched the sky, lying next to the spot where a bunny had just been. “What I would give to have a simple life. Don’t get me wrong,” I looked over, finally noticing the bunny had fled; sighing, I continued my monologue “I like where I’ve gotten too. But there used to be so much more in my life. Now all I can do is get high and drunk and dream about the places I used to visit.” I stared at the shapeless clouds for a moment before getting myself back to my feet.

“Well, this poison isn’t going to make itself.” I said to the wind, “Better get myself back to the kitchen.” I skipped, hummed and danced my way back to the castle, taking my time with no worry about the new king occupying Shene Palace.

I entered my kitchen humming the half forgotten tune of Moonlight Serenade. Unpacking my findings of the day, I turned around and saw a man sitting at my dining table.

“Zetus lapetus!” I exclaimed, quoting my favorite childhood movie. Hand on my heart, I took a few breaths, calming myself before looking at the man. “May I assist you?” When he didn’t say anything I continued putting away my herbs and fungus, keeping an eye on him.

He was short, perfectly filled in while potentially hiding some well worked arms, and nicely coloured compared to the pasty men running around this castle and village. His scruff was just a tad longer then what should be described as scruff, almost as if he skipped a few days of grooming out of laziness. His eyes bore into my back and every time I glanced over I could see they were filled with anger and intrigue; he was curious about me but definitely not pleased at the situation, for his own reasons unknown to me.

“You don’t seem that frightened of me.” he commented.

“Should I be? I pose no threat to you, why should you be a threat to me?” I turned to look at him directly and noticed his feet on the table. “Oi!” I exclaimed, grabbing the bad-tasting alcohol I used for sanitizing and a rag, “Feet off the table! What does this look like to you, a barn stable? I run a clean kitchen here.” I shooed his feet off and looked him directly in the eyes, “Cross-contamination here is deadly.” I held my gaze a few seconds longer than necessary to make sure he understood the seriousness I was implying. It was intimidating to say the least.

After I finished cleaning the table top I started prepping for a tea service. I put some water on to boil and went over to my dried herb and flower collection. I didn’t know the man's taste in tea, so I elected to find out by allowing him to make his own choice. I took out four cheesecloth pouches, and in each one filled with different dried ingredients, putting the labels in front of each. They read: Mild: Dandelion - slightly bitter, Pignut - mild hazelnut and radish, Borage - cucumber, Rosebay Willow - pleasant. Sweet/Earthy: Lime Tree - succulent and sweet, Pignut - mild hazelnut and radish, Columbine - sweet and ‘green’, Pink Purslane - succulent and earthy. Hot/Spice: Sweet Cicely - aniseed, Nettle, Wood Avens - cloves, Lady Smock - cress with sweet and hot hints. Fruity: Hawthorn - slightly over ripe apples, Pineapple Weed - strong pineapple, Watermint - sweet and minty, Pink Sorrel - apple peel and lemon.

I brought over the selections. “I’m not sure what your preference is, so help yourself to one of these, or let me know if there’s something else you would prefer.” I went to walk away to check on the time for the bread but was halted by the man's hand grasping my wrist.

“You are aware of who I am, are you not?” his voice went through me like a robust wine, smoothly flowing through my veins. I could bet my life that his voice alone could make me do things I never thought possible. I turned towards him looking into his eyes; those eyes could also make me do things I never morally thought I would do. I quirked my left eyebrow, allowing my fake confidence to overcome my anxieties.

“You’re the new ruler, yes? The one everyone's making a fuss about.” I freed my wrist easily and continued towards the burner. Through my peripherals I saw him eyeing the tea, taking the one on the far right, the mild mix. Just then the timer for the water went off. I grabbed the pot of water and brought it towards the table. He was eyeing the timer and myself.

“Such an interesting invention.” He motioned towards my badly put together contraption. A funnel over the left side of a double beam scale with a jar on it. Depending on the amount of rice I put into the funnel, when it reached the desired time I calculated, the beam would hit a bell. Old time, timer.

“Thank you. It helps me multitask without ruining any of my products.” Without going further into details about the contraption, I poured the water through his chosen tea. “A wonderful selection, sire. The dandelion is good for detoxifying the blood while the borage and rosebay help with the respiratory system. And it’s said that pignut promotes lust.” I eyed him promiscuously momentarily, then quickly infused my own water with my comfrey and dandelion coffee substitute before returning the pot and sitting down. I took a deep breath of the aromatic steam before sitting the cup down.

I looked him straight in the eyes, building all the confidence I could possess while keeping a hint of aggression in the way I held my body and the tone of my voice; trying my best to mimic the presence he held in the room. I started my well practiced speech: “Here’s the deal. I understand you are a man of action. You have killed quite a lot of people on your own, with no help from others, to get to the top. But I have also worked hard to get to where I am. You might be wondering who exactly I am? I’m sure even with the terror you inflict in the people, no one has let slip who I am around here.” I took a pause from my short rambling, taking a sip of my fake-coffee. I immediately calmed down, the familiar taste grounding me and I continued with more grace and less apprehension. “I’m the official royal poisoner. You needn't worry about yourself, my loyalty lies in whoever rules the kingdom. I am free for your use, but only free to you.

“I allow men and women from all stages of society to come to me for help in poisoning someone. I carry no judgement. However, the rules apply as such: the second in command comes to me, asking to poison anyone in the whole kingdom, I oblige except for the interest of you. The lowest of men comes in here, asking for poison, if he can pay, I oblige, except for the interest of you. I hold no politics. I believe, as you have shown yourself, that if a man wishes to become king, he does so by his own means. He shouldn’t need to rely on the skill of a poisoner to obtain the throne. I also give much thought to who is asking and to whom they plan to poison. If they lie to me, I punish them. And I always discuss my business dealings with you first.” his face was neutral, but his eyes shined with curiosity. I continued:

“What is the payment for poison? For you, sire, nothing. I work for you freely in the exchange for this room and freedom to roam the castle and castle grounds. For everyone else, it depends. Most think gold and jewels will pay the best, but I prefer a good trade. My preferred trade: ingredients. I may have a surplus supply of mushrooms, herbs and other wild vegetation but I do not have an endless supply of meat, or dairy, or even other items of immediate necessity. Therefore, when a villager comes to trade, I prefer what he has to offer other than money. Next, I enjoy information. I may not be political, but in my business, it’s good to know who wants whom killed. You’d be surprised by the things I know, and I openly offer the knowledge to you. I can tell you every man who wished for the late King Edward to be killed. Lastly, money will pay for the least expensive poison, with a fifty percent chance of success. Always bring the customers back wanting more, that’s how you run a good business.” I said smiling. Just then my other timer for the bread went off. “Excuse me for a second, if you will.” I got up, took the bread out, checked it, and with satisfaction, placed it on the cooling rack. “Ahh, nothing better then freshly baked bread.”

“How long have you been stuck here?”

A weird question in my opinion, but I looked around the room walking back over. “I wouldn’t consider myself stuck. I did ask to live here about 4 years ago, having been in the area 5 years. That spiel that I just gave you, I gave to the late King, albeit not word for word.”

“No. How long have you been stuck in this time period?” That stopped me in my tracks.

“I- I don’t understand what you’re asking.”

“You’re obviously not from this era, so how long have you been stuck here.” he was growing irritated at my attempt to feign ignorance. I was shocked, but I looked down bitterly, remembering the day all too well.

“Five years. How did you know?”

“I’m not from this time period either. Takes one to spot one. Though, you didn’t.” I narrowed my eyes at his obvious comment of my incapabilities of observation. I was defensive now.

“And why is someone who can time travel just wasting time becoming king of a stupid little village like this?” I spat, he didn’t answer. As the silence grew thicker, I made a retreat into the heart of the private kitchen. He stared off into his own world, appearing upset. Must be about the reason he was here. I busied myself with the next loaf of bread I needed to get done for dinner, thinking over the fact that he was a time traveler. What were the odds of that happening? Midway through the first kneading of the dough he broke the silence.

“My ship has been compromised. I need to fix the issue but unfortunately I'm stuck here to do so. Figured, might as well have some fun while I’m here. Now what's your story?”

“I don’t have one. I’m simply stuck here and there’s nothing I can do about it.” I glimpsed at him while I continued kneading, seeing if he would contemplate taking me. He just stared at me, not really giving off any vibe except boredom and grumpiness. I had the impression that he was not happy with my answer and that it would probably come up in conversation again. I switched the subject off of my past and back onto my future..

“So?” I asked. It was his turn to look around slightly confused. I continued after it was apparent he wasn’t following my train of thought, “Are you going to keep me or am I going to have to figure something new to do with my life?”

“Well, you said it yourself, I’m a man of action, I don’t really need an official poisoner.” Having been prepared for the chance that the new king wouldn’t be convinced of the use of my services, I took one of the handful of disputes that I had, personalizing it a tad with the new knowledge I had received from our little chat.

“True, but sometimes you have better things to do, like fixing your ship. Then you could simply tell me that you wanted someone poisoned and it would be done. Also, it’s kind of fun when you know someone in the room is about to die from poisoning.” I stopped kneading the dough and turned my full attention to him. “I’m more than just a poisoner too. I know that you’ve been eating the treats that I prepare for you.” I paused, thinking out loud, “Unless one of the servants is eating them, in which case, I’ll have to fix that problem.” I continued, my attention back to him “Without me, you wouldn’t be able to enjoy bread, or the desserts that are offered to you every night, or the future multitude of random treats that I make out of pure boredom. It’s not a bad deal.”

“What’s your name?”

“Antheia.” the man got up and exited the room without another word. “Right, well, not sure what that means, but I’ll be around if you need me.” I said to the room, just loud enough that if he had good hearing, he’d probably hear it. I went back to my bread, thinking over all my new possible futures. Hopefully the one that played out was one of the better ones.

Ch. 1 - Fin.

So yup, that’s that. Hope it wasn’t a waste of your time. Stay beautiful my DW fellow fans!

“Have you ever thought what it’s like to be wanders in the 4th dimension?” -The Doctor

#og character #dh!master #doctor who #the master #time travel #dr. who #nuwho #classic who #new who #fanfiction #fanfic #dw fanfic #dhawan!master

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cruddyborderlandstheories · 5 years

Text

i walk in 20 hours late sipping a starbucks hot cocoa

i don’t like coffee

promethea!!!

awwwwww yis

tl;dr: uhh wow i talked a lot today, sorry. Mostly about whatever the fuck that thing Rhys is handing us is, how it ties into the dig site we see like maybe it’s a piece to activate it, maybe the dig site isn’t a Vault but instead a teleporter or something and needs multiple pieces to activate. so i guess kinda like a Vault but not that kind of Vault. Also if said dig site is actually on Promethea because that’s, like, DEFINITELY Elpis behind it. and like, okay, maybe we used the giant space gun to destroy the asteroid fields and make room for elpis and teleport elpis there, or maybe we teleported the dig site to pandora because it needs to be opened since Moon = Key and maybe Promethea’s moon was destroyed by the giant space gun (TM) and turned into asteroid belt, or maybe the dig site was always ON pandora and it’s not actually a Vault (because the Map would have pointed it out), but still. lots of possibilities here. oh and i go over the Battleborn easter egg and talk about Tannis is Not What She Seems (and pray she won’t end up being evil bc I love her) and I wanna believe the Eridians sent that message, not the cult ‘cause fuck those guys they probably can’t see the future they probably just adopted the name. also I ramble about how gorgeous this planet is for like... 30 minutes. but damn it really is pretty.

man this was a fun thing to wake up to and then have to wait like 8 hours to actually fully take a look at lmao

“Home to the Atlas corporation headquarters, Promethea is a metropolitan world covered in futuristic towers of chrome and glass. A recent siege by Maliwan has turned the urban environment into a warzone; their mechanized infantry patrol the streets, rodent/insect hybrids known as Ratches infest the sewers and back-alleys, and the Children of the Vault are seizing the opportunity to recruit displaced and disgruntled citizens. Atlas CEO Rhys Strongfork is getting desperate.“

“... Children of the Vault are seizing the opportunity to recruit displaced and disgruntled citizens”.

yeah that’s the most important part of this description for me. I really really like the idea of that, and it could tie into the whole Mayhem is Coming tagline for the game as, like many people have speculated, the Mayhem we hear about is the spreading of the cult/the psychos across the universe. A very interesting tie-in to the marketing campaign, as it’s clear we’re now the target of this cult propaganda, like the citizens of Promethea are (were? this is all past-tense since marcus is telling this story, isn’t it?)... like the citizens of Promethea were.

And we know that Atlas is trying to protect the citizens in the tunnels, so it’d be really interesting to see the two get into a direct conflict over a group of citizens. Like Lorelei tells us it's a hostage situation or whatever and we run in and it’s more of a brainwashing situation. Worse if the citizens decided to switch over without any brainwashing. oof.

im also curious about the number of hexagons we see on Promethea. The shapes look identical to the ones on Pandora’s page, so I’m curious if this is an accurate representation of how many areas will be on each planet.

just sayin’.

We do know that Pandora has more than those 3 listed areas (from Supmatto’s new video! can’t believe i missed the stream. ah well.)

“Covenant Pass”. I wanna believe this is near the area where we go find Sanctuary-III, at the very least that one tunnel-y area?

you know the one

this one, it’s right next to Sanc-III afterall.

Also thinking it may not be the name of a huge area, but instead the name of one of the smaller areas within that area? like the ones where when you discover it you get experience points? yeah.

the name makes me think this is someway related to the CoV cause of the word ‘covenant’, an agreement. We also know this area is directly near this one bandit camp which I’ve theorized before is a sun smasher camp

(you can see the back of sanctuary-III near both areas)

so it’s possible there was an agreement made and both could pass freely through that one tunnel, or the twins were able to build that wall close to this camp. idk, just spitballing ideas.

So then it is possible there’s only 3ish areas on Pandora, but I really hope not unless they are BIG areas. There are most likely more than 3.

oh but we’re here to discuss Promethea

sorry i forgot.

For Promethea we got the Titan Skyway, the Atlas Campus, and the Meridian Seaport.

Titan Skyway reads to me like that giant road we keep seeing in the trailers

like this one, which is giving me huge Bloodshot Stronghold (Damtop) vibes. Which is one of my favorite levels to play as melee Zer0 with execute and many must fall so... please let this be what i think it is. i may end up running that map just for funsies at the end of the game. mm if it didn’t take running the actual bloodshot stronghold every time i wanted to play the damtop level, i’d be running it all the time. sigh.

Atlas Campus immediately made me think of the Meridian Metroplex, but that’s definitely not it. In the instagram trailer we see Rhys on the ‘Atlas HQ rooftop’ with Zer0, so I’m gonna imagine Rhys is somewhere in the Atlas Campus.

Now if this is like an actual college campus, which i don’t think gearbox would do due to the implications, that’d be wild. I heard they had a mall designed for somewhere in the meridian metroplex, but we’re probably not actually allowed inside. which makes me sad, but also it probably holds no significance on the story. but then again... neither did caustic caverns. hmmmmmmmmm

oh also rhys is holding

whatever the fuck this is

uhhhhhhh... huhhhhh...

tbh i legitimately thought this was their attempt at macgyvering a vault key at first lmao

i know it’s a mission object because it has those glitteries, but... it reminds me a bit of Gortys’s core but i really don’t think that’s it. maybe another Atlas project to try and open a Vault? It just doesn’t look Eridian to me.

then again

this appears to be at the eridian dig site so... maybe it actually is Eridian. Definitely new to me.

some way to get inside the Vault area maybe? I can’t imagine that’s the actual Vault Key, because the one we see in the We Are Mayhem trailer doesn’t match.

you know i’ve been thinking more about vault colors

this one appears pink which... alright. maybe something to do with seraphs/seraph crystals.

The bl1 Vault was blue, the bl2 Vault was purple, the Vault of the Sentinel was... purple? blue? pink? all of the above? ... bisexual? tbqh there was a LOT going on there lol. wasn’t the Vault of the traveler yellow? either way

the big question here is: does each Vault have its own color scheme?

I wonder what that means since the Vault Mey has turned red now... it’s probably leading us to the big boy. the Vault to end all Vaults.

now wouldn’t that be fun

right back to Promethea sorry

final listed area we get is called the Meridian Seaport. Which, if you know me, has got me all like 👀👀👀👀👀👀

water area? why yes PLEASE

i was actually talking to someone on reddit about said ‘seaport’ and it got me wondering if maybe this area is where we’ll find that one car from the Mask of Mayhem trailer.

i can’t imagine what else those wing-like things on the side would be for. but i am definitely not a car person, like the closest i get is being a fan of Transformers, so maybe someone can enlighten me.

I am wondering if this area is the one we see in the instagram trailer with Moze

here

also i know we see water near where we find Zer0 in the demo, but that’s not really a dock area, more just a viewpoint. this has me thinking it’s an actual dock because the buildings are all off in the distance. It reminds me a lot of NYC actually lol

and interestingly enough i write about an assassination mission at a port on Promethea in one of my fanfics, but tbh i wasn’t actually expecting anything like it to be in-game. That was kind of an assumption I made since the area with Zer0 had water and I can’t believe I’m going to have to go back and edit it to be canon-compliant, cause I legitimately didn’t...

anyway.

Should i go over the instagram stuff now? I feel like i should go over the instagram stuff now.

see here is my problem with this

no moon

you’ll understand why once i compile my evidence

no moon

no moon!!

no moon

i even watched both time lapses during the amd stream and there was no hint of the moon (i understand promethea is in a state of perpetual twilight, but i thought maybe it would show up somewhere. it doesn’t. in fact it only shows the sun and this asteroid belt).

where is my moon, randy?

well let me tell you what i’m thinking here so you’re not even more confused

let’s go through that instagram video showcasing Promethea again

you should recognize this!

this is from that one video i reblogged like 4 times because i kept debating whether or not it was on promethea or pandora. now we can assume it’s on promethea but let me ask u something

if promethea doesn’t have a moon...

what the everloving fuck is that?

in fact, let me ask something

what does elpis look like in bl3?

look familiar?

hell yeah it does

now...

is this actually promethea?

I can’t imagine gearbox would be using footage that ISN’T from the planet they’re showcasing in a video about said planet. because that’s naughty. Plus, Rhys is shown giving us something that looks very similar to the tech in that area, and I can’t imagine we’d go through all that trouble just to get that tech then immediately go back to Pandora with whatever it is. whatever happened to the Promethean Vault Key we see in the We Are Mayhem trailer?

so there’s 2 options here if we’re under the assumption that dig site is/was on Promethea.

This dig site was moved from Promethea to Pandora

Elpis was moved from Pandora to Promethea

Now i went over ALL of this in an old post. (seriously, give this a read if you haven't already, i go into this in a lot more detail than i will here). but we kinda got some new information.

My first instinct is that this dig site is on (or moved to) Pandora. just, 100% Pandora. the moon, the spiky rocks in the background, what look like Rakk near the back, there’s no asteroid belt in the sky. etc. etc.

do the blue sparkles have anything to do with it? maybe!

Also again, im not 100% certain this is actually a Vault. It just... doesn’t feel right to me. If this was actually on Pandora the entire time, then we’d have known about it through the Vault Map. We would have gone to open the 3rd Vault on Pandora before bl3 even began. If this really has been on Pandora the whole time, I do believe this isn’t actually a Vault. I go over this in that previous post I’ve made and I’m still standing by it. I think this is just an Eridian ruin and the Vault shape is just a statue or whatever. I could be 100% wrong, but that’s my first instinct if we’re being lead to believe this is on Pandora.

Now I’m curious why this dig site was never mentioned in bl2 if it WAS on Pandora this whole time. And, again, if it actually does end up being a Vault, there’d be a huge plot hole with the whole Vault Map thing if it was on Pandora all along.

So was it moved here? Yeah... probably. For what reason? I... have no idea. How? similar answer. Lily couldnt’ve done it, she doesn’t have her powers anymore. Maybe activating it with whatever Rhys gives us makes it teleport to Pandora. For... reasons.

If it is a Vault, maybe it requires Elpis to open it. for some reason. We know Moon equals Key, so it could play into that. It definitely looks like it’s positioned directly in line with elpis.

but why would a Vault built on Promethea need a moon from a totally different planet to open it?

Because Promethea’s moon was destroyed.

That asteroid belt? I don’t think that’s there just for funsies (okay maybe the artists had funsies but the actual writing? yeah). And that big gun looking thing we see in both concept art and in the trailer? i think that thing fucked up Promethea’s moon to the point it shattered. So they couldn’t open that Vault.

alright, we all cool on this version of the theory?

let’s flip it on its head.

let’s consider:

Elpis was moved from Pandora to Promethea

NOT possible i hear you say

but hear me out.

what’s our reasons for saying this is Pandora?

“the moon, the spiky rocks in the background, what look like Rakk near the back, there’s no asteroid belt in the sky. etc. etc.”

Elpis? teleported! bah!

Spiky rocks? Well! We hear typhon mention a quarry, don’t we? one with brittle rock. This very well could be the quazmarian quarry he talked about where he found that very first Vault (and Vault Key). After all, if he fell into a hole and found it, it makes sense that there would be a shitload of dig teams trying to clear it out for easy access.

Rakk? We see those on Athenas, too, during the Happy Together trailer. Plus, they’re super chubby on the bottoms compared to what we see of the Rakk in the Claptrap Presents Pandora video. Maybe they’re not even Rakk.

Finally. Ah. The asteroid belt.

Well, if you believe that that giant gun could’ve obliterated Promethea’s moon, then is it so hard to turn around and believe that it’s actually obliterated the asteroids surrounding Promethea?

in fact, if we really ARE moving Elpis to Promethea, wouldn’t it make sense that we can’t have asteroids hitting Elpis for fear of worsening the Crackening and breaking our own moon?

In FACT, do we even SEE any asteroids above Promethea in that trailer shot of the bigass gun?

I THINK NOT.

There’s more to this theory, though.

from claptrap presents pandora

from the we are mayhem trailer

yeah, they COULD be celebrating the destruction of Elpis (because i would not be surprised if those are both near the same area)

lets think of something new, though. Elpis being blown up was totally 2015, with Zarpedon. That’s SO last season, Calypsos.

Plus, why would the calypsos even want the moon destroyed? is that not the home of a Vault that would allow them to see the future? how fucking powerful would that be, being able to see the future??? Jack knew what he had to do to win the Pandora games (even if he uhhh didn’t get to see that last bit because of Lilith), so why wouldn’t the Calypsos want to see their own futures?

There is the argument that they’ve already gone to Elpis and didn’t like what the Vault showed them, but I kinda assumed that they’d have gotten the funky eye things like Zarpedon did if they really did see what the Vault showed them. Given that Jack’s was interrupted by Lilith, we don’t really know if that’s truly the case.

I’m 100% down to blow up the moon cause Good Riddance, but also it needs to make sense WHY the calypsos want it blown up other than like shits and giggles? which... fine, but the story..? Elpis has to be important somehow. They have to want it blown up for some reason. A show of power? awesome, maybe they got that giant space gun. Moon = Key, so maybe they think if we can’t get this Vault, nobody can? sure why not. Destroying Pandora? Sure, but why blow up elpis when u could just also blow up pandora?

either way, if the game gives us an actual reason as to why the twins are blowing up the moon, we’re all fine and dandy. if they’re going it just because then yeah, im gonna get kinda testy.

anyway my point IS

The effect around elpis here looks strikingly familiar to the effect that appears around Lilith (and the cultists) when they’re teleported.

so it would be much cooler if, instead of blowing up Elpis, they were actually celebrating its movement.

And it would be very interesting then, if this tied into that Easter Egg we got.

You know the one:

Because yeah im still iffy on the implication that this is from the Calypso twins. Why wouldn’t they want the Vaults opened? isn’t that the grand plan?

maybe this could be from the Eridians or the Guardians on Elpis. If Elpis was teleported from Pandora to Elpis, maybe the translation from Eridian -> English is slightly off, or simplified for the message. (on vs orbiting for example)

Visit Promethea -> Where we are right now, or where we’re going to go. We need you there.

Children of the Vault -> Yes, it could be the CoV cult that’s being referenced, but the way this is broadcasted, through morse code, spoken like an actual cryptic message and not, you know, with that Calypso flair... me thinks the cult simply adopted the name “Children of the Vault”. I think this may either be referencing Sirens, or the Vault Hunters/Crimson Raiders. Maybe the twins picked up this broadcast and that’s why they immediately head to Promethea after they steal Lilith’s powers.

We are not on Pandora anymore -> shit dudes we got yeeted to Promethea, help us. Or... we’ve moved elsewhere. We’re not nearby, we escaped, we fled, come find us on Promethea.

Tannis is not what she seems -> this one... I don’t believe the Calypsos actually know anything about Tannis. If they do, then she was possibly the one to rescue/experiment on them, turning them into artificial Sirens or whatever, but then... isn’t Tannis exactly what she seems? She’s crazy, she totally would experiment on the twins. That is EXACTLY what she seems like.

The people who would know about Tannis not being what she seems... the people who can see the future? The Guardians of the Sentinel’s Vault (maybe just the Guardians/Eridians in general). The Watcher can speak (speak? she uses telepathy, doesn’t she? that’s why Brick asks Lilith what she says) eloquently, I imagine there has to be more than one Watcher-like Guardian. Or this is the Watcher herself sending the message.

Either way, if, later on in the game, Tannis starts showing signs of not being what she seems, then... wouldn’t it make sense that the only characters who knew this were the ones who could see the future? And given the new info, it makes sense that the Guardians/Eridians/yougetthegist would know her by name, because she could be the one who turned herself into an artificial Siren. Or figured out how to create artificial Sirens. Whichever (both?). Which is kinda big news in the Eridian world, I’m sure. Plus, the wording using ‘What’ instead of ‘Who’ is kinda a big pointer. I’m almost leaning towards the idea that Tannis tried to give herself Angel’s phaseshifting abilities. I can’t see Tannis with actual offensive abilities... It wouldn’t really fit her character. But I can 100% see her with mad computer hacking skills, to the point she could ruin anything with a flick of her wrist. Yeah, I can see that.

And I really hope Tannis doesn’t end up being a villain. She could do so much good with her intelligence and newfound powers and tbh it’s really nice seeing a character with autism not treated like Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory (the butt of every joke). She feels real to me (as someone with autism)- she’s got her obsession (Eridians/Sirens/the Vaults), her crazy intelligence, the social phobia/unawareness. I really like her as a character (going from betraying us in bl1 to realizing her mistake and immediately trying to help and assisting the Crimson Raiders) and I’d really hate for her to become the villain just for... idk a shock twist? The shock twist should be that she’s a Siren or whatever, not that she’s going to betray us. I like Tannis :( And all the message says is Tannis is Not What She Seems, not that we shouldn’t trust her or that she’s going to betray us.

Do Not Open the Vaults -> well this is the whole thing, isn’t it? this is why I think this message has some sort of Eridian origin, instead of the Calypsos cult. The Calypsos WANT the Vaults open. They want that ‘universe-destroying’ power. They want to absorb the powers of the Vault monsters. Shit, even we Vault Hunters want to open the Vaults for some of that sweet, sweet loot. But who doesn’t want the Vaults opened? The Eridians.

oh yeah we were talking about Promethea. how the fuck did i get here?

oh the moon

yeah it could have just been a shot in the Instagram trailer they used to show off the ‘Eridian alien technology’. that’s not fun to talk about tho lmfao. plus the thingie Rhys holds matches up so well with the cool technology we get

anyway

the instagram trailer. we’re not even like halfway done with this post btw. still gotta do those beautiful screenshots

trailer

sorry it’s like 1am im starting to lose focus im shifting into sleepy mode

i just love the aesthetic of this city.

also. that one building with the 0 on it? you can’t convince me Rhys didn’t give Zer0 their own skyscraper.

oh, you want an entire building to store all your loot and trophy kills? OF COURSE ZER0 ANYTHING FOR YOU

yes....... Eridian log.

im really excited to see it glowing. especially since it’s glowing red, like the Vault Map/key/you know. I hope that has some significance.

i did boost the brightness and noticed it was part of a wall, not just one slab found elsewhere. makes me think this is part of a Temple. maybe part of the dig site below? we know that one is connected to some sort of building. and if it glows red, that’d be a really neat tie in to why Atlas always has that glowing red aesthetic going on in their bases.

still not done talking about this shot. yeah the stuff on the right looks similar to the thing Rhys hands us. NOT why i brought it back up tho. The guardian statues in the back seem very ‘low poly’. VERY different to the guardian statues we have on Pandora. they’re also holding staffs which is new.

compare

these ones also seem much buffer than the guardians we see. with shorter necks, as well.

Maybe these are statues of ACTUAL Eridians? not just Guardians or any other construct (further proof for my theory Pandora was a Guardian production planet lol) but like what Eridians actually look like.

shorter necks, thicker limbs (because why would the constructs NEED muscles?), actual bodies that aren’t thin as twigs. I think we found it boys

this is the ideal Eridian body

no cause, seriously, if they ARE guardians, why are they so BUFF?? i don’t GET IT

also weird this atlas gun isn’t wrist mounted. Atlas sniper confirmarinoed? or just an Old Atlas gun. sure. that too.

Moze on a turret near what i assume is the Meridian Seaport. She has what i think is an Atlas pistol equipped. There’s a dead guy leaning up against some cinder blocks, all cozy-like.

better shot of the area. We talked about this earlier, so moving on!

Okay... so is THIS the New Atlas sniper? it looks like nigel thornberry’s nose

smashing.

we saw this before, too. im actually really excited to look out over the Promethea skyline from the top of a skyscraper. also, idk, rhys’s hand looks like a yaoi hand to me. like his fingers are above the F in strongfork, right? look how far away his thumb is. YEESH.

it’s actually ONLY rhys lol

An Atlas soldier at work! I like that their gear has the crimson lance logo on it. And the new Atlas symbol. I feel like if we have to fight these guys, the crit spot is gonna be that backpack.

maliwan robo!!!

a big boy. one of the flying ones too iirc from the We Are Mayhem trailer.

Atlassss in the back. it’s weird that the second A in Atlas is the logo, not the first one. the first one is a triangle. that’s weird is it supposed to be signalling something else? a triangle with a circle around it. i don’t even know what that might be a logo for. hm.

oh also police bots i guess, but we see these dudes a lot.

im more interested in this thingie in the back. wonder what happened to it/what it is

ratches. blegh.

i hate these things jfc. they’re so gross.

i like that maliwan is just claiming things by throwing their flag up on it. that’s not how this works! that’s not how any of this works!

anyway.

how are those screenshots lookin

pretty good.

im pretty sure i’ve mentioned this before, but i love that they named this part of the city Meridian and then kept the Eridian logo in the spelling. it’s so fuckin dorky to me.

also i know we’re supposed to hate these robos, but at least they’re getting some characterization as enemies. the loaderbots in bl2 do this but not to a degree that they get their own interactions (LB being the exception of course). I like this.

also i love that parts of the city are color coded. like red and blue parts are different areas. It’s such a neat way to help people not get lost (cough, me) and it fits great into the design of the city with the neon lights and bright colors. I noticed this in the gameplay demo as well, tho i don’t remember if it was followed. Also I’m pretty sure that symbol up there

is what the blue area is called. could be wrong. but i think i saw this during the demo as well.

i think this is going to be my favorite area to visit on Promethea, hands down. I love this little living area. It feels so unlike anywhere we’ve visited in previous games, like it feels like somewhere Gaige could be from. Actually, iirc Roland was from Promethea, wasn’t he? Be wild if we visited his house here. Anyway, I’m also excited about the trees. Fucking! Trees!

and cars!!! holy shit yeah on Pandora we only ever saw like light runners or bandit technicals and the occasional bus. all the cars were broken down and stripped for parts! It’s really cool to see actual full cars here.

wow i am excited over the most mundane shit lol

wait till you guys hear about the PARKING LOT

OHHHH YEAH

CROSSWALKS TOO

lol im actually- i just love this area. i love it so much. this is lovely. i love the giant glowing reactor in the background too, i 100% hope we get to interact with that (posssssibly blow it up. maybe just a little.) I can see this area being the area we have to run through to reach the entrance of that thing. I mean, it’s just RIGHT THERE.

Also would not be surprised if this KV fellow is waiting for us there. “Who wants to BANG a billionaire indeed”. He’s totally gonna be a boss fight. BANG i imagine means more shooty shooty than innuendo... innuendo...

it sounded better in my head.

the symbol for the red area possibly on that tower in the back?

I’m like, 60% sure this isn’t the area we explore with Lorelei, so maybe this is the Titan Skyway? also maybe the bridge Moze and Fl4k drop off of in the Happy Together trailer.

hate. i would quote AM here but im tired so just imagine the entire ‘Hate’ quote here because i HATE these things.

there’s also a big skelly in the back, i wonder just how big these fuckin things can grow. hopefully uhhh like a cow died here or smth. cuz fuck man.

this area is also super green and watery so i wonder if this is a sewer or smth. that’d be wild lol

Another shot of the city. It’s so fucking beautiful. I really love how they went all out for this. Opportunity was great, but it wasn’t nice to look at. Promethea is fucking STUNNING. I love this place way too much. Never even been here before.

also i love the fog coming up from the bottom. Maybe this shot is taken from the water? god if we get to go on the water and then it starts fogging up i might actually start crying lol.

this building is my favorite by far i think. I love the way the middle turns in. I have no idea how that’d work like... from an inside standpoint, cause the ground would just be slanted under you but im sure they made it work somehow.

anyway. im gonna go cry myself to sleep over how beautiful this game is. sorry i talked like... WAY too much during this one lol.

also i just thought of this while writing the tl;dr but maybe that item rhys gives us is after all the Promethea stuff is over, even the Vault(s), maybe we need it to activate something in that vault statue area on Pandora and that’s our way to like some important Vault or the Eridian homeworld or smth and we gotta collect all the pieces to activate it. like it’s a teleporter. Maybe Rhys had a piece because that’s what was in the Vault of the Traveller. I mean it would make sense because if you didn’t want someone to have something, you fuckin hide it in a box that’s teleporting across the galaxy at random intervals. That might be our way to the Eridian Homeworld. Now wouldn’t that be neato...

#borderlands #bl3 #borderlands 3 #promethea #wow sorry i just WENT OFF tonight #it's 2am tho so nighty #i did my best #time for sleep

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pandorafics · 5 years

Text

A College Bartender Au

(( Well then 🙃 I'm still breaking my rules here. Psst @sk-1522. It' here. I want to thank @apologieslogan for dropping the initial idea for the fic so this is for them.

-Pandora

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Cw: I don't think so, not yet

Word count: 2,064

“ Roman? Are you okay?” Patton finally questioned while he looked at his friend pouring over textbooks. Two empty coffee cups by the drama nerd's side. To the young baker… this was like seeing every world monument at once. It was amazing. However, it was also frightening that it was possible.

“No, I am dying. I have all this stuff to do, and barely any time. Mrs. Dominic is going to laugh at this exam grad, it's curtains for sure!” Roman groaned dropping his head into the books in front of him with a sigh. Ro reached for his third coffee, he only raised his head when the cup was gripped tightly in his hand.

“You never worried about Mrs. Dominic's class before and you typically pass. Which is impressive enough. She doesn't like anyone.”

“Patton I have been bewitched by this handsome glasses clad fellow with a mind sharper than my sword.” Roman whined before taking a sip of his coffee, “ She actually likes him, Patton. She is actually a human with him! I don't get it! How! How does any one person get into a casual conversation with her? Debate with her. And then carry on as normal!” He ranted in frustration his hands moving as he talked. However, his movements were more spastic since he was tired.

The baker sighed his hand reached into his bag and pulled out two cookies setting them down on the napkin. The smaller man ignored the sounds of annoyance coming from others in the coffee shop. “ Logan? He is just really smart. Mrs. Dominic has a lot of respect. For kids like him. I am sure he is not a snob just talk to him.”

“No I will prove I am sm- oh there he is.” Roman silenced himself looking down at the multitude of books. As the nerd entered the shop placing his order. Logan glanced around the boisterous shop before spotting an acquaintance of his, Patton (he hoped), gently patting the back of another student appearing to try and study. ��

Trying was the keyword in Logan's mind. The man was hunched over multiple books. His hair ruffled from shoving a hand through it repeatedly. There we two empty disposable cups by his side and one griped in tight fingers while he stared at the same spot on the page from only inches away. That settled it.

“Greetings Patton, how are you today?” Logan questioned as he walked over. He had time before his order was completed. Patton smiled at his friend waving.

“Hi, Logan! I’m doing pretty good, what about you? “

“Satisfactory, unlike your friend it seems, anything I can assist with?” Logan remarked in a seemingly neutral tone.

“I am fine!” Roman protested, in an offended tone. Logan hummed looking at the page he was trying to study, and then looked up to meet the brown eyes that were narrowed in a glare at him.

“You're failing to study correct?” Logan said his blue eyes narrowed at the stubbornness of the other.

“Logan, please. Just let him focus. This is important to him.” Patton interjected looking between his two friends.

“This is actually very important to me and I have it under control,” Roman added with a huff.

“Then how about this. I'll ask a question answer it correctly without peaking at the page in front of you and I will let it go. If you answer incorrectly. I show you how to study properly.” Logan said calmly looking at the boys in front of him. Roman looked at the nerd, who had the balls to talk to him like that.

“Fine ask away to teach. I have been studying for hours I got this!”

“ Alright.” Logan pulled a notebook from his bag and opened to a blank page. He wrote ‘Long-term Memory’ at the top.

Patton sat to the side sipping hot chocolate with a small smirk, to avoid sighing at Roman’s mistake. Like it or not this was one of Roman's worst subjects. To Patton, Roman Just let his stubbornness dictate his actions.

Logan drew two branches one veering left and the other veering right. The branch on the right he left a two line gap then drawing a branch going down a line. Before stopping. On the left branch, he left a two line gap drew a branch going down another two-line gape and then two more branches veering right and left. “This is the graph at the top of the page, fill in the subdivisions of long-term memory and what falls into those categories.”

“ Logan Croft?” The barista called out, Logan stood up and looked at Roman.

“One moment.” The nerd said before walking away Roman looked at the paper Logan had just drawn and grumbled. His pride kept him from cheating. However, Ro struggled to remember what he had read.

“You have got to be kidding me. I literally have been studying this page for an hour. I should know this.” He grumbled before naming the ones he kinda thought that he knew. He was disappointed in himself, to say the least. However Roman kept trying. This nerd was not going to strip him of his pride.

Not when this nerd also charmed him. He bowed his head trying to think. It was not working. Nothing was helping. “ So, have you finished?”

Roman huffed as the neutral tone spoke to him again. “ I huh- no I'm not.”

“Right… at any rate, I have twenty minutes to get to class and will probably not be able to wait until it comes to you. Here are my address and number. If you want the help simply text me when your coming. And please get some rest. It is important if you actually want to retain any of the information you have been haphazardly gorging on. Good day.” Logan set a piece of paper on the table. A gloved hand holding his coffee as he walked away.

The drama kid looked at his friend with wide eyes. “What the-”

“ One more thing?” Logan called over his shoulder looking at the pair. Roman swallowed nervously.

“ Yes?”

“ Water helps the brain function more than coffee.” The nerd said before leaving to his class. This time Roman waited until the ding of the bell before allowing himself to give a look of sheer bewilderment.

“ Did that really just happen?”

“ Yes, I am so sorry Ro, he can be a bit-”

“ I have a study date! And it is something he has a passion for!” Roman sang out as if the spirits had just been lifted by guardian angels. Several ‘hushs’ were hissed out at the pair. It was early enough that nobody was ready for Roman Prince's version of extra.

“ No no no. Roman this is bad. How do you intend to focus when you're sitting less than two feet in front of him. You couldn't even manage to keep it together in the same room as him!” Patton snapped hoping his hopeless friend would see reason.

Another hush from the people behind them had Roman packing his bag. He wanted to sing and scream from the rooftop. These people wanted to be boring and wake up for the day. Roman understood. As for what Patton said, Roman could only sigh. “ Patton I will take care of this don't worry. I need to go, rest, bathe, and rejuvenate!” Roman standing as he adjusted his bag and moved to walk out the door.

“Roman. His number. “ Patton sighed holding out the paper Logan had left behind.

“ Oh, right, thanks,” Roman stated rubbing the back of his neck. He walked back and accepted the napkin. The grin on his face so wide Patton thought the skin would tear.

Patton put on a smile, “No problem kiddo just try not to upset your roommate again.”

“Surly Temple will be fine. He is used to my antics that is if he is even there. The grouch usually leaves for work by now.” Roman says calmly as Patton gathered up his own belongings. By the time Pat looked back up Ro had disappeared. Whatever happened, Logan better not break his friend's heart.

Logan shook his head with a sigh as he went to class, that poor, huh, he hadn't even gotten a name. That was… unlike him, usually, Lo would get to at least know someone before offering to help someone study. Yet, the young man seemed to be the exception. No matter. He will behave better next time. Granted coffee boy didn't think he was an asshole and never spoke to him again.

The twenty-year-old sighed softly when his phone buzzed twice, and then twice more, curious. A flick of his thumb would show one text was His co-worker and friend Virgil, the other was an unknown number from presumably the coffee boy from fifteen minutes ago. Virgil first, after all, it may be business related.

‘morning teach, hey we still practicing at noon? I really need to get away from the singing lunatic. He just burst in the damn door singing Queen and I can not handle it if I have work at four thirty. ‘

Shame, Virgil was always having issues with the theater kid, and it was annoying ‘ You have my apartment key, go rest there. Just try not to make a mess. And we will practice when I come home. Free pouring, hopefully, you won't plant me into the ground this time. Your muddling needs work, desperately, so we will also make a pitcher of Sangria. Pop quiz: What does “with a twist” mean?’

‘ I'll take that as a good morning. with a twist is a ref to the garnish a piece of lemon to add flavor to the drink.’

‘ What is the form of lemon?’

‘ Lo, it is 7:43 in the morn. Lemon wedge I guess :/’

‘ “With a twist” is the addition of citrus peel used to enhance the flavor of a beverage based on the flavor profile. I will see you after class.’

‘ Do you ever slow down? You just ran a 7-3am here it is 7:43 am and you're starting again? Ever hear of burnout?’

‘ If your free pour counts were as accurate as your astute observations of the clock. I'd be out of a tutoring job.’

‘ Uhh fuck you lo’

‘ I am not a fan of aggravated copulation rituals, therefore I am going to have to reject your… less than the kind offer.’ Logan responded a final time before walking into his first class of the day. His phone turned off and put away as the professor started the discussion with an air of expertise that Logan had always idolized. The confidence, and demanding presence. The teacher didn't force people to pay attention to. His words were thoughtful and questioning prompting discussion from everyone while notes were written on the board.

Logan Croft loved to learn. it was his blood.

Virgil shook his head at Logan's response, taken literally again. He had no clue if it was intentional or not at this point. However as much as it annoyed him, it was funny that Lo could be so smart, yet so dumb. The rookie stood grabbing his bag and sauntering out of the door. Honestly, “ We Are the Champions, ” is a solid song even if it isn't his cup of coffee. However, there is a time and place dude.

Roman undressed his eyes glancing at the scars, it was a liberating feeling. The binding had never done his singing any good. Nevermind he was not the most cautious, but he could breathe deep now. Hold a note. His eyes never looked below the scars, he couldn't.

A half hour later he was in bed, his fingers laced behind his nearly black hair. Roman could get some rest, he had sent Logan a text that he would be at his place by 12:45. That would do for now. He could pack study supplies later.

Logan hadn't realized he had dozed off in class. He didn't even recall feeling particularly tired. Well at the coffee shop maybe, but the caffeine, sugar, and taurine( from an energy drink at work earlier) should have assisted him. He was still out cold in his astrology lecture.

#will i ever forgive myself?#bartender au #sanders sides #trans!roman #logan sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #roman sanders #college au #the fun is about to start #ssbau #long post #long reads #fanfic #fandom #maybe this will work out #pandorafics #angst coming

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pretty-idol-hell · 6 years

Text

PriChan Cast review!

I thought I would take longer to get to this, but it’s a fairly simple toy as long as you have the instructions and I figured out most of it right away!

So here is a basic guide and my thoughts:

First of all let me say once again this thing is a beast. Here it is compared to some of my other Pri-Series toys, the PriPass (from PriPara Season 1) and the SmaSho (from Rainbow Live):

Both of which ironically have real cameras while the PriChan Cast doesn’t. But unlike these two, the Cast is really not that much of a smartphone toy and actually works much more like the Jewel Mics or most Precure toys.

As you can see above, the top left three slots are for inserting Appli, and the bottom right are flat buttons supposed to emulate a touch screen. Inserting Appli.... works amazing! It recognizes them before you even click them into place and I haven’t had a single misread yet! (If you have owned the Jewel Mics or Harp, you know why I’m so impressed.)

It came with three Appli, two of them which don’t even have QR codes and are just for show, and finally the Kiratto Appli which is necessary to use any of the Appli for coord change on the arcade game and may be one of the main reasons I bought this to begin with.

It also came with a holder for your PriChan ID, since mine was a first edition.

It’s kinda crap.

But one of the things they really like to advertise about the PriChan Cast is that it has a space to put your ID inside the actual Cast itself and...

It actually works pretty well. I’m surprisingly not that afraid of it falling out.

But of course when will I have my PriChan Cast with me at the arcade though? (Since the Cast itself does not interact with the arcade game, the answer is never.) But this is where I’ll be keeping my spare ID from now on.

Okay so now onto the actual function.

Like I said, it’s a lot like the Jewel Mics or Precure toys in which you set items and can hear different voices and play different mini games. For a toy like this, it has a surprising amount of functions. Of course the games are just like... choose a color. (Literally.) But.

After you complete a game, Mirai will tell you that some ridiculous amount of people watched your channel (like 100,000 people) and sometimes you’ll get Kiratto Chance. In which you are told you “win” a Kiratto Coord! Y... Yay?

Inserting the different Yattemita Appli from the separate sets you can buy mixes up the voices you hear and sometimes changes the contents of the game. If you have more than one of these inserted for different characters, it will be random.

So, here are all the functions and games I know of with the Appli I have....

PriChan On Air: Insert almost any Appli, slash the plastic ticket it comes with (what you thought you could use real ones like the show....), and press the Kiratto button and you’re “On Air” ooooh. This is what makes the Appli spin around (for real) and is basically the best part.

Dance Lesson: Press the button with play mark once. They somehow managed to make a rhythm game with one button and no screen! You’ll hear a song and have to copy the beats. You actually have to be pretty accurate to win. (If you lose however it only means 10,000 people watched your channel instead of 100,000 haa.. ha....)

Coordination game: Press the button with the play mark twice. Mirai tells you she wants a certain type of coord (fun, cute, etc.) and you have to pick the color. She pretty much agrees with whatever you pick.

Kiratto Chance: Press the button with the play mark three times. Then just press the Kiratto button as fast as you can to win.

Talk with PriChan Idols: Press the button with the yellow mascot once. You just hear some idol voices. You can’t hear anyone other than Mirai or Emo unless you have their Appli.

Fortune Telling: Press the button with the yellow mascot twice. This one varies greatly depending on what Appli you have in. For example Emo and Sara use sports and music respectively to read your fortune. Update: Anna uses stuffed animals!

Take a photo: You can’t take a photo. Uhh I mean press the camera button to hear some shutter sounds and some more idols talking depending on the Appli you have in.

And that’s basically it.

So, what do I think of it?

You know what..... I kinda like it.

Haha it’s certainly not high entertainment or anything but it’s kinda fun putting in the different Appli, watching them spin, and seeing what happens. Plus, like I said before, there is this weird retro charm to it with it’s clunkiness and gears.

But it’s also put together pretty sturdily and they definitely deserve some recognition for making a toy that... actually works. I would totally buy it for a kid in the target age group. I can see why they are pushing the advertising for this thing so hard: It looks dumb at first, but it’s actually kinda neat.

Do I think you should buy it?

.....Tough call. I bought it for the same reason I buy most toys like this: Because I plan on collecting the things that go with it. (In this case the Yattemita Appli, and I also wanted to unlock the option to use them for coord change on the arcade.) Depends on if the above matters to you, and how much of a diehard PriChan fan you are I guess.

#prichan #kiratto prichan #prichan toy #prichan merch #prichan cast #kiratto prichan toy

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50darkershadesofcynic · 6 years

Text

Let’s Make A Character - Script for 2.

(But 3 including my Future self)

To start this off, this was inspired by a real conversation I had with my friend when we were designing a concept for a video game. Except in this version, I made her out to be wayyyyyy worse than she actually was. When I was younger, I was easily irked.

This was how I showed by Passive Aggression

- By making this lousy script.

Obviously I ain’t thrilled.

Me: Alright, let's start designing this character already. Snowflake: Make it a *strong female character* Me: Okay... Strong Female Character. Snowflake: Who is gay. Me: ...Excuse me, what? Snowflake: We need more gay characters - simple as that. Me: Sure. Fine. She's gay. (Though that doesn't really matter, in terms of gameplay) Snowflake: They'd rather prefer 'They-them' pronouns. Don't assume their gender.

Okay, so this was around the time when They/Them and Xe/Xir was starting to become uncomfortably common for my liking. Back then I thought it was flat out ridiculous, but now I’ve seen the light and realized that if people want to identify as they/them and experiment with genders it’s totally okay.

Especially since it really doesn’t affect me in the slightest.

Me: What? Sorry? We're making a female character, remember? Snowflake: Uhh... Hello? They can identify as female, but not completely. They are demi.

It took me three years to buy into Demisexual/Demiromantic - But I’m still not entirely sold on Demigender. I thoroughly believe in the gender binary, rather than a spectrum. One of the reasons for why I’m Bi rather than Pan.

Me: Fine. What should 'their' name be? Snowflake: I don't know. Me: Let's go with Alexandra- Snowflake: Excuse me, but that is a cisnormative name and will not be acceptable. Their name should be gender-neutral to keep with the times. It's 2016, after all. Me: Jeez, okay. Their name is Alex.

This part actually happened.

Snowflake: Why are you drawing her that way!? Me: ...Sorry? Snowflake: OMG that sketch only reflects the male power fantasies that dominates the gaming community! It's that mentality that labels you as an ignorant bigot!

This part didn’t, obviously.

Me: Okay, okay, what did I do wrong!? Snowflake: Her body is hyper-sexualized, you are oppressing women by drawing such a sexist piece. You are not accepting of other body types other than the D-cups, tiny waists and long legs! Me: Oh... Right. I guess I can make her proportions a bit more accurate - Snowflake: Respect their pronouns, you cis scum! Me: Fine, fine, fine - It's fixed. Calm down. Snowflake: ALL YOU DID WAS MAKE HER SKINNIER.

I’m gonna take this moment to talk about an issue I’ve been weirded out by: The Skinny Rose Quartz situation. Where people purposely draw Steven Universe characters skinny, Aryan and more humanoid. I thought it was hilarious at first, but then people started being generally mad about it.

Tbh, I didn’t think it was a problem because of the ‘boohoohoo’ narrative of lack of representative figures for plus-sized audiences - I thought it was a problem because it was canonically false. And bad recolors.

Teens these days gotta chill, jeez, it’s only fan art.

Me: W-Well, it would be more accurate if her hip size corresponds to her already slim body. I also shrunk her breasts so they would look less... well, fanciful. Snowflake: We have too many characters that are skinny like her! And why are they white? Where are the stretch marks? Their freckles? We need IMPERFECTIONS to show how COMPLEX this character needs to be! Me: They aren't white, it's just that I haven't colored them in yet... And so what if she's white? Race doesn't make a character more supreme than the other. In games, it's more about class stats than anything to do with race- Snowflake: If they are white, then they are oppressors to any other person or player that isn't white. To be white, is to be racist. And sure, you say it might be alright in a game - however, think of how it affects people of color playing as the white man! They need a character that represents. This is going to be that character.

HOLA AMIGOS! HELLO FRIENDS!

Let’s spell some magical words today! Today’s magical word is ‘STRAW MAN’

S T R A W M A N

Muy Bien! Very good!

legit though this would fail any debate class

Me: Well, for the record it's my character. I think I can have the freedom to create her in any way that I want. Snowflake: You just objectified them! Me: How can I objectify something or someone that I haven't fully created yet!? Snowflake: Never mind. Does she have any other complexities? Me: What do you mean? Snowflake: I mean, you need to be tolerant of other behaviors, disorders, and dysfunctions of the mind! Hello? Were you living under a conservative rock? There are too many 'normies' in gaming.

Oh lord, does

‘N o r m i e’

mean something different now...

kek my dudes.

Me: Oh... So you want me to make her depressed or something?

HOOO BOY THAT’S TOPICAL

Snowflake: Not 'depressed or something', saying it like that is immensely offensive and damaging. Especially to those who do suffer from depression. Me: I can give her something mild, I guess. Snowflake: Looking at our character so far, she'd have to be bipolar, autistic, an insomniac and have a small case of ADHD. She will also have alters, for her MPD syndrome. Me: ... You are actually joking, right?

I wish I was joking when I legitimately thought this was how SJWs and Millennials talk.

*laughtrack then seinfeld theme plays*

Snowflake: Excuse me - mental disorders are not a joke! I was self diagnosed with depression, an array of anxiety disorders. Life is hard for people like me. Me: Yeah. Good to know. But giving her all of those problems may result in her character performance being- Snowflake: Hey. Depression is not a 'problem'. You are really getting on my nerves... Me: ...More like *TRIGGERING* your nerves, am I right? Snowflake: You ableist, ageist, classist, racist, sexist, cissexist, size sexist---- Me: Oh wow, you're still going. Snowflake: --- CIS WHITE MALE SCUM.

Legit though, what a fucking awful ending.

“TRIGGERING YER NERVES - AMIRITE?”

- I cringe whenever I read that line. No one can use the word ‘Trigger’ anymore, it’s been so over-used that it ain’t hip with the kids unless you use it heavily ironically. But everyone seemed to really resonate with this post since it was made at the height of SJWs

Now everybody knows that they’re just a small minority of people who have loud opinions. Opinions that not many people can relate to.

But who am I kidding, there’s still an audience on tumblr who are strongly influenced by them. So we have yet to see how much of a foothold they really have on western culture.

That’s all I have to say on that shit, and that’s all I ever will. Until next time.

#retrospective #conversation #SJW #funny #cringe #triggered #genius #tumblr #problematic #character #design #racist #sexist

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udaitenma · 7 years

Note

look i totally understand your frustration, but the people making this translation already told that they aren't accurate, and they shouldn't hold to they same expectations that other translation bc they are only a group fans, and only are doing this if they know that ms translation will be late. what I mean they isn't really they fault, they are doing this just bc they know fans are impatient. they fans should be the one that have to be aware of this, and don't take it as perfect.

??? uhh why are you writing this to me, are you from the other scan group? if this is about the translation notes I made, then I literally did not target the other scan group, I was talking about the chinese scans which made the source error from which the other english scan was based.

If we are going to go here though, then a few things.

1. > bc they are only a group fans

a) define “group fans”? what makes me, or mangastream, any less or more than a “group fans”? I use my free time to do translations voluntarily, for free, have not made a single cent off this in all my years translating (despite studying and working on the side as well, having school debt, i’m just another student.) You’ll know i don’t even open a ko-fi or anything, because i would rather fans give money to the official licensed material, merch, tankoubons etc.

b) is this based on the premise that your personal definition of “group fans” who provide a full english translation are somehow entitled to less obligations, level of dilligence, duty of care, level of skill exercised, than say, another translation group? what philosophical moral ethical any theory entitles them to this?

2. > they shouldn’t hold to they same expectations that other translation

if a full english haikyuu translation is put out with the intent of having haikyuu fans consume it as a full chapter, then why does one scan group have a right to be held to less expectations than say, a translation by any other group?

inconsistent standards much? if somehow my translations bear a heavier onus of being correct but it’s okay for other groups to just go “sorry these translations are inaccurate but go ahead consume them anyway”

like what’s stopping me from just putting out a huge disclaimer and subpar translations and making bubbles up when i don’t know what it says? (answer: my integrity towards volunteer translation work really. )

3. > if they know that ms translation will be late

how does anyone know if a ms translation will be “late”? define “late”. it’s all relative and discretionary, isn’t it? a ms translation isn’t up the moment raws or korean/chinese scans are available, english fans are yelling, and then boom, ms translations are defined as “late”?

i wouldn’t say ms translations this week were late. the first time ms translations were truly late and “emergency” scans started cropping up, it was around a four-five day delay between when the schedule used to be, and when ms uploaded actual jump.

this week i’d say it’s around a 24 hour gap. i was translating around 24 hours ago, and it took 12 hours from my translation being finished to having the chapter up on ms because my team prioritises other series.

by this time, i think a lot of people have read the wrong translation and won’t be reading any other versions, which brings me to my last point

4. I literally also said it’s on the readers and it’s their responsibility to check?

i’ve said this over and over, multiple times before, it’s on the readers too, to get things right.

that said, when there is a translation error, i’m sad that readers miss out on character nuances and small details like that. think of the content creators of this fandom. the artists. the fic writers. they really, really, pay attention to things like this and it helps them think of more content to base their creations off. it makes me sad to think these things get lost through translation errors or simply because of the cultural distance between languages, which is why I write translation notes.

My opinions about translators writing giant disclaimers to remove the responsibility of actually having to feel the pressure of putting out adequate translations aside -

I don’t think there is anything wrong with people correcting translations when they are wrong. nothing grants you immunity from that.

especially when a translation is prone to error because it’s a translation not even translated from the original raw language.

as a haikyuu fan, i would want to know, and as a translator who made a mistake, i would want to know so i can learn from it.

#???#asktenka #これ読んでなんかむかついた #haikyuu #haikyuu 290 #why are people butthurt over this tf lmao #i have a huge translation notes tag btw people #if you're interested in checking ito ut

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rockybalfeatherboa · 7 years

Text

getting these mtl headcanons outta my system

This is a long ass post but these r some random metalocalypse hcs that I feel kinda strongly abt some r real silly ok here it goes

Aka me projecting

Toki - Enjoys activities like roller skating, weight lifting and boxing (that’s why he’s yknow fucken ripped) - Also enjoys model cars but not nearly as much as his beloved fighter planes - Thick brows - Hair is very thick and smooth (and,,pretty) but he doesn’t put a lot of work into is making the other guys kinda jealous - Sometimes shaves his legs below the knee but that’s it - Does shit like host teen choice awards and guest star on children’s tv shows BUT THEN acts surprised when kids love him,,,tf bitch this is ur fault - Absolutely loves physical affection he fuckin loves hugs and kisses!!!! - Prefers making out and titty groping groupies (and maybe a blowjob) over having sex with them .. but will still do it if he feels like he’s up to it - Kisses with his eyes open (and overall just real fuckin weird ok) - Keeps the video from Juliette sarmangsadandle in his nightstand he treasures it - Mostly writes his own keyboard parts for songs - Band thinks he’s hilarious when he doesn’t try to be but when he tries to tell jokes they don’t work ,, but he’s really funny in Norwegian it’s just the jokes don’t really translate too well so he just,,keeps it to himself - Pickles taught him how to smoke and now they like to chill and smoke together it’s like “their thing” - But he’s really picky about it he only smokes indica - (This is me projecting) Learned the phrase “if u feelin froggy then jump” and never stopped using it

Skwisgaar - shaves e v e r y t h i n g bc of 1) the aesthetics and 2) loves the way it feels - long lovely legs - huge fucken feet - has a klokateer pluck and tweeze his eyebrows them shits be on fleek - cries in secret at least once a day it’s become routine - He kept in touch with his Swedish gf for a while but then fell off and went back to hoeing #hoe4lyfe - Secretly wishes he can go back to wearing all white but he has to maintain brand recognition bc of the band - Wears very slight sweet smelling cologne behind his ears and wherever else cologne goes - Either eats a fuckton or not very much during the day,, keeping his metabolism on her toes - Guitar playing for him is like ultimate stress relief and also he fidgets with it he loves that thing - Has a book of various songs or riffs that he’s written on the guitar that dethklok will never ever use - Wears highlighter - Has run into one of his grown ass children in the bank one time and had to get the fuck out of there immediately,,they didn’t realize it was him tho - Puts his feet on nathan just to bother him - Great teeth / really conscientious about hygiene - Cold hands and oily skin type - He has a pretty good sense of rhythm but ,, he can’t dance he can’t dance for shit oh my god it’s a disaster to look at - “I look like I can’t cook… that’s accurate” - When he drinks wine he does that thing where he swirls it around like a bougie piece of shit - Lactose intolerant :/ - Talks with his hands a l o t it’s over dramatized and very fascinating to watch - Responds to compliments with “I know”

Murderface - closet gay* *gay but he grew up in such a homophobic environment so he tries to ignore it and pretty much force himself to be straight, explaining his constant trouble with women (Bc the attraction isn’t genuine ) and his fragile masculinity (so he’s always a “fellas is it gay to-“ or a “no homo” type of guy ),, his self esteem issues don’t help this out at all - big fuckin crush on skwisgaar (and skwis loves the attention) - sleeps with a retainer - hair is so dry,,,,,,please give this man some conditioner oh my god - knows pretty much everything about the civil war and the American revolution literally ask him anything he’s like a textbook - Somebody come get this man a pedicure - He has a lot of fans and they adore him it’s just that he’s oblivious to it,,, ppl love murderface!! - He’s not as ugly as he thinks he is or that people make him out to be, it’s just that people may think that only Bc the rest of Dethklok is so pretty. He kinda just ends up looking the worst by four-way comparison. It’s just a different type of look he has there’s nothing really wrong with his appearance - Imma go head and say it,,,he uses “y’all” - He and toki have actually made some decent songs for planet piss but it’s usually when they’re jamming out so they pretty much never get recorded 🤷🏽‍♀️ or remembered - He can move his dick voluntarily I mean I already knew that people with dicks can do this but murderface has like a whole new level of control with his - Got banned from Fintrolls bc he pissed in the olives but he just keeps coming back bc what are they gonna do? nothing - He takes his weapon/torture device collection very seriously like when u walk into his room u better not touch a damn thing or so help me -

Pickles - has nose piercings but doesn’t wear em - Small ear gauges - Strong toned legs especially shins and calves - Has not had a swig of h20 in 6 years but somehow has nice skin (a mystery) - Loathes Seth but absolutely a d o r e s the baby!!! He loves that damn baby and always appreciates when Seth or amber send pics or FaceTime call !! Fuckin uncle pickles!! - Helps toki compose his keyboard parts for songs (Bc he too can play the piano) - Kinda flexible but not as he used to be,,he used to be able to do a full split - Likes to bug Charles a lot bc they’re the closest in age , sometimes they hang they’re good buds - Watches shitty reality tv (bad girls club, LHHATL (it has to Atlanta), etc) as a guilty pleasure - Kind of an asshole but in a way that leaves u wanting more - Played basketball freshman year of highschool,, he was ass at it lmao - Idk how much this has to do with being a headcanon but if pickles was a vine he’d be “I said whoever threw that paper, ya moms a hoe” he just carries that energy - Smells like a light combination of weed and cologne it’s really nice - Will tell one of his band mates to go blow their nose if they’re sniffling too much

Nathan - doesn’t like it when people touch his hair without asking but HOWEVER if u ask before u do he’d probably say yes ,, just gotta warn him first damn - Hates hates h a t e s feet it’s like a weird squirmy phobia. He’s ok with his own feet and just *seeing* other peoples feet but let someone’s bare foot touch him and he’d probably black out tbh - Really socially awkward outside of his stage presence but I think we all knew this - Nathan’s really sweet he just ,, u gotta know him - Really emotional when he’s drunk - Secretly cussing out everyone in his head - He doesn’t completely dislike physical affection but he’s not crazy about it either - Also kisses with his eyes open (but unlike toki he’s trying to work on it) - Dad bod but we all knew this too - Slightly introverted ..he likes to party and shit but can only take that much social interaction for so long then it’s time for him to go home - Eyes are so striking and pretty oh my god it’s like they’re shining it’s all his gfs favorite thing about him - ,,,,,,,thicc - He’s one of those people that rip off their hangnails instead of cutting them 😖 - He can throw down on the grill goddamn why isn’t he in charge of snacks? - Knows how to suture a wound with some level of proficiency - He loves his parents he just hates how they embarrass the fuck out of him god leave me alone mom and dad! - This is ironic to the last thing but remember that video where it was like “son let me hear some of your music” “I don’t think you’d like it” “c’mon let me listen” and the song is just “I hate my dad I hate my dad I hate my dad” the whole time yea that was Nathan in high school - Strong arms (b,,beautiful) - As a kid he used to poke at roadkill for uhh entertainment - Used to be self conscious about his reading glasses but doesn’t gaf anymore - Severe case of resting bitch face he’ll literally be chillin but his face will be mean muggin but that’s just the way he looks - Tried PCP and ended up having to be chained to his bed betcha he’ll never smoke that shit again - likes crime investigation shows and serial killer documentaries - Will n e v e r refuse a fresh hot salted pretzel

#metalocalypse #nathan explosion #pickles the drummer #toki wartooth #william murderface #skwisgaar skwigelf #headcanons #long post

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hopoo · 7 years

Text

RoR2 Q&A 12/2/17

Since we got a million asks, I’ll collapse all the answers periodically into one giant QA so it doesn’t ruin your tumblr feed. I tried to answer every question - if yours isnt there, someone else might’ve asked the same question. Expand below to read!

Q: Are you thinking about putting out a beta version to test or are you just waiting for the game to be fully released A: Not sure exactly how we want to do it – we HAVE to have some way of getting the game out to testers, especially for networking/matchmaking testing. It will most likely be some form of closed/limited beta, but we really haven’t though too much about it.

Q: Any ideas on what the system requirements could be? Will they be high or playable on most machines? Also will it work with integrated graphics? A: Most likely the game will be pretty light for GPU with our graphical style, but CPU intensive. What that actually translates to won’t be until the game is closer to launch, where we start optimizing.

Q: ROR1 most loved thing me and my friends liked to do is ruining the framerate with all the items that we had. we had lots of fun crashing the game for whoever hosted the game. might this still be able to happen? I'm looking forward to the release anyway and so are my friends especialy with peer to peer now we can connect better. A: Uhh hopefuly you won’t be able to crash the game, but the game will still scale infinitely like it did previously

Q: Could you make it so that when you use Unstable Watch and timestop, all colors in the game become inverted for the duration? And if you want to go all the way with a certain reference, have only Chef's cleavers stop in midair at the edge of a radius from an enemy, and when the timestop ends the cleavers hit at the same time. A: No memes

Q: Super excites for risk of rain 2. Im real glad i found it in a steam summer sale, bought then and after that bought it for my ps4. Are we going to see any new characters? (Bandit will always be fav so as long as hes good im happy) A: Yes, definitely new characters!

Q: can you make one of the new death messages be "HOST WHEN?" A: No memes!!!!

Q: While Vita's out of the question, what about the Switch, which basically seems to have slotted itself in the 'more powerful handheld device' niche? A: We’d obviously love to be on the switch, but that ultimately depends on A. can we optimize the game to run on the Switch, and B. do we have the technical know-how to actually get it running? Porting to consoles tends to be a much more dramatic change than people expect, even if the engine natively exports to it.

Q: Hi. I’ve been a fan of risk of rain for the past few years. I just want to ask: in risk of rain, some mechanics like heaven cracker can pierce a line of enemies and the huntress’ ability to hit and run. With the change from 2D to 3D environment, how will they work? There are many other abilities and mechanics that i also want to ask about, but these two were the first ones that i could remember immediately. A: We’re not going to bring back any mechanics that don’t fit just for the sake of continuity – however, the Heaven Cracker I can see being actually more fun in 3D since you have to actually align yourself with the enemies. Since everyone can shoot and run in the 3D version, Huntress’ niche is sorta gone, but we have some clever ideas to make that back

Q: In DevBlog #8 you explain some of the steam integration going into Risk of Rain 2 which will make a lot of people happy but will RoR2 also be available without steam for those who prefer? For example will I be able to buy it on GOG like I did RoR1, and play LAN games without steam? A: Right now we’re focusing on making it work via Steam P2P, but (I believe) that we haven’t done anything to explicity lock out connections via IP. You just won’t get the same Nat punchthrough benefits (I’ll have to ask Jeff, our network dude about it to make sure this is correct, but afaik I think that’s right)

Q: Would you guys happen to have an idea of when you think the game would be realeased? A: Nope! Hopefully not too long!

Q: Hello! I loved Risk of Rain 1 and it is great to play with friends. I have two questions (technically three, I'm cheating). 1. I am assuming you're going to release it on steam, so that said will there be steam multiplayer integration? Like... Invite via steam, games are created with the help of steam peer-to-peer. It was a pain to get 4 people playing on one server without port forwarding. 2. Will there be a better way to keep track of items? 3. Can you add a menu to see what items you have? A: Yes, steam invites and all that are the goal. I know we talked about holding TAB to expand the item menu so you could see more at once, but we haven’t actually done that yet. I know it was a bit silly for it to be uncropped and expanding off the screen.

Q: Is this still in development? A: No we’re just pretending

Q: Are you gonna have the same soundtrack from the first game? A different soundtrack? A mix of both? (Don't get rid of the Dried Lake or Sunken Tombs songs). A: That’ll ultimately be up to Chris, but I’m sure he’s in the same boat as us and doesn’t want to cover the same ground that we did previously.

Q: I was telling a friend how excited I was for this, and he expressed a concern I’d like to ask you guys about. He said that, being 3D, the game might end up either not as hectic as the first, or too hectic, what with the hoards coming from all around you. What’s your take on this? (I’m not actually too worried about it, but I still wanna hear your take on the matter.) A: Currently, we’re using SFX as a tool to present not only how close an enemy is, but what state they’re in and how many there are. Since I’ve also been playing the game for like a million hours I’ve also developed the ability to recognize which enemy by the frequency of their screenshake… but that won’t be relevant to most players. We’re really hoping to avoid radars or anything like that for awareness.

Q: Just wanted to say, RoR2 is looking to be coming along fantastically. I really love that you are constantly taking things in unexpected directions-- I never expected to see the game translated to 3D but you have done it and I can imagine many hundreds of hours spent playing. Will Chris Christodoulou be working on the music this game as well? A: Yes, he will be back!

Q: Have you considered calling the second Risk of Rain "Risk of Twain"? A: Not until now

Q: This is kind of a question and a half. How big will the RoR2 maps be and will all the RoR1 maps return in 3D with the additions of new maps or just overall new maps? A: Overall we’re not really looking at the previous maps for the inspiration for our new ones – we’re not making RoR 3D, but a sequel, so we don’t really want to recreate too much old stuff!

Q: Since RoR2 is moving to more dynamic network model, how will people with screwy NATs be affected? NAT Punchthrough is great and all, but if implemented incorrectly can lead to multiple users on the same NAT being unable to join servers outside of the NAT (See Rainbow Six Siege). Will users still be able to host dedicated servers like the old game? What does this mean for users buying the game through GOG/Humble Bundle? Really hope everything goes swimmingly because port forwarding sucks. A: This is the exact reason that we will have to have some form of limited beta, because this is something that we can’t recreate in office. I honestly don’t know enough to respond accurately on what would happen in that particular situation, but thanks for the heads up

Q: Relative to the first one, will Risk of Rain 2 be a sequel, prequel, completely unrelated, or even have story at all? A: Sequel!

Q: How were you going to implement artifacts this time around? Is it going to be based around areas that are randomly generated and you sometimes have access, or multiple spawn locations, etc. A: Dunno, we haven’t implemented really any form of map permutations yet. The artifacts also ended up taking a much more important role in the game than we initially expected – not sure if the old way of unlocking is strange if it’s to be a core feature.

Q: (Big fan) I just had some curious questions; How many characters do you intend there to be in RoR2?, How differently do you plan on changing the previous characters?, Any hints on the final boss? pls, What is the estimated price of the game? and will their be any chance of PvP? Cannot wait, super hyped and keep up the great work :D A: We’re aiming for 10 characters on launch. No spoilers or hints! Definitely not PvP in any official capacity since the networking structure wasn’t designed for a good PvP experience.

Q: I've got three questions : 1) Will it be called RoR2 or will you find / have you found something else ? 2) Why the hell is there one more 'o' in the tumblr URL than in the actual 'Hopoo' name ? 3) What's the average of the team's favorite meals ? thx xoxo <3 A: I think it’ll just be RoR2. The hopoo tumblr was taken on creation of this tumblr, so we had to make it hopooo instead ☹

Q: Will RoR2 reveal why the Contact Light was carrying a teleporter linked to a planet crammed with hostile lifeforms? A: I’d like to explore what the heck is up with the humans in this game, but I sorta wish I had a better avenue that’s not just item logs and monster logs.

Q: I'm going to ask the real questions, is Sniper a man or woman? This is important because reasons. A:

Q: Theres something that confuses me alot about risk of rain 2. It's the lore. If the characters have left the planet, why would they come back? A: Canonically, the returning characters were never on the Contact Light to begin with (and presumably there could totally be like, a bunch of engineers and commando suits.)

#riskofrain #gamedev

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