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petertingle-yipyip · 2 years ago

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DEVIL ON MY SHOULDER - MATT MURDOCK

seven- only love can hurt like this

tags: @ironprincessstranger @dusstory @americaarse @johnmurphys-sass // six // eight // masterlist

Pairing: Daredevil x Exodus (Matt Murdock x Livia)

Word Count: 9,239

Summary: Nelson and Murdock finally falls, leaving a cracked friendship in its wake. With a new development from Frank Castle, Livia and Matt go to visit an old… adversary.

“Sorry I’m late!” Karen burst through the door in a hurry.

You sighed heavily and pushed yourself up, meeting her by her desk. You waved slightly and took a seat on the edge while she brought Foggy out. He offered you a small, sad smile and you returned the gesture.

“I’m glad you guys are both here. I wanna show you something.” She said quickly, rummaging through her bag. “Matt here too?”

“About Matt…” You trailed off sadly. “Karen, we gotta talk.”

“Let’s all take a long lunch today, hmm? There’s a lot we have to talk about.” Foggy added.

“You guys remember John Doe? One of the falsified reports.” She answered, not really hearing what you and Foggy were saying. “I think I found something.”

“Who’s house you break into this time?” You teased as you came around to Foggy’s other side so you could see better.

“No need.” She smiled slightly. “Just press passes and NYPD files and… Anyway, these pictures are all from the day Frank’s family was killed.”

“I’ve seen enough bloody bodies to last me a lifetime. Can we please just-“ Foggy tried again.

“Hang on. Just let her finish.” You said softly, putting a hand on his arm.

Maybe if Karen really was onto something, you’d have something that could distract you.

“Look at these two pictures. See this guy?” She pointed at one of the photos. “Now look.” She slid the photo to reveal a very similar one, only the body was gone.

Your brows furrowed as you reached for the photos. You flipped back and forth, comparing the two photos. You were hoping it was maybe a clear doctoring but the officers in the background were in different positions. What you did notice was that there had been another body, also removed, but the evidence tag number was only there for one.

“Maybe he was bagged and tagged already.” Foggy reasoned.

“That’s what I thought too but I couldn’t find any death certificates or anything. It’s like he was never there.” Karen continued.

“The evidence tag number is gone, too.” You pointed out, dropping the photos on her desk. “The body next to him is gone too but the little card isn’t. I’m pretty sure those don’t get picked up until the entire scene is cleared. Could be something..”

“What if he’s our John Doe?”

“Just… Let it go.” Foggy said, trying to remain calm though you could tell the topic grated his already sensitive nerves. “The trial is over.”

“But-“ She argued, following behind him and grabbing your wrist to bring you with her. “No. There’s still a conspiracy. This guy could be the key to the cover up!”

“Maybe.” Foggy shrugged. “Somebody else’s problem now.”

You leaned against the doorframe, crossing your arms and fixing your eyes on the ground.

“But- Just like that?” She tried desperately. “I- I don’t get it.”

“We’re lawyers and I have bigger things to worry about.”

“Like what? Like.. like getting Nelson and Murdock back on top? This would do that!”

“Just tell her, Foggy.” You sighed, rubbing your tired eyes.

“Tell me what?” She insisted.

“There is no Nelson and Murdock. Look around.” Foggy explained, gesturing to the empty office space.

“Matt told us he doesn’t want to be a part of this anymore.” You said sadly. “He said Foggy should replace him with me or just close the office completely.”

“And you’re going to? What about helping people?”

“What else am I supposed to do?” You lifted your head. “I can’t make him be somewhere or do something he doesn’t wanna do.”

“But he listens to you!”

“Not anymore… When I talk, he just hears her. And I don’t know when that changed.”

Her eyes widened slightly in realization.

“Okay… Okay. You guys all fought at the courthouse a couple times but, you know, you weren’t your best selves. None of us really have been for a long time so-“

“I was my best self that day.” Foggy shrugged before gesturing to you. “Livia was her best at the courthouse, covering for him. And so were you. You’re eerily good at this but Matt has-“

“He’s made his choice.” You shrugged. “He picked what he wants to prioritize and it’s not this firm. It’s not us. I’m sorry, Karen. Trust me. I know how you feel about him but…”

“The woman in his bed…” She turned to you. “The other night when we tried to get him to come back. Is this about her?”

“She knows how to get to him…”

“Okay, whatever.” She shook her head. “Whatever is going on with Matt, whether he’s not willing or not capable of making room for anything else in his life, it’s just right now.”

“You weren’t there… You didn’t hear the conviction in his voice when he told us to leave. I did.” You added.

“I should’ve warned you.” Foggy said kindly to Karen.

“No, you shouldn’t have.” Karen shook her head, though you felt that disappointment. “If Matt doesn’t want to share his life with me, that’s between me and him. The same way your friendship with Matt is between you and him. I don’t need to be warned, Foggy. I just cannot be lied to anymore. All I want is the truth about something.”

“I get it…” Foggy nodded. “I’ll give you a call if something changes but for now, I suggest we all start thinking of a life outside this office.”

“Gimme a second and we can work on that together. Maybe we can still find some closure for Frank..” You nodded at Karen as she backed out of the room. You pushed yourself up and shut the door behind you. “Can I ask you something?”

“How did you know?” Foggy asked instead. “About Matt… You called him Red and he said that Castle started calling him that. I heard you say it before we left.”

“The night at the hospital, when I had to leave because the plumbing… Turns out, I don’t even have an upstairs neighbor. Elektra set it all up. She wanted me and Matt to go to some gala, said she needed someone pretty and someone that can throw a punch… I thought I was the one to fight but, turns out I was mainly the pretty one.”

“Did he know you were gonna be there?”

“I doubt it… I didn’t say anything until we were already there. But the way he moved and fought, he didn’t care. The entire way he handled that night wasn’t very Matt Murdock. From there, the pieces kinda fell into place and everything made sense. He’s yet to actually say the words and I haven’t said anything to him yet but I think he knew I would figure it out.”

“You weren’t supposed to find out like that. He was supposed to tell you himself.”

“I never would’ve found out that way though, would I?”

“Livia, I’m so sorry.”

You shrugged slightly. “I knew he had his secrets. I have mine too so I couldn’t judge him. I can’t even judge him for this but… Foggy, I understand why he never told me. Really, I do. But why do I feel so…”

“Betrayed.” Foggy finished knowingly as he came closer. “Lied to. Because you care about him, even when he doesn’t deserve it. Even when he doesn’t want it. You’ve been there for him in every way you could since we all met… You still love him, don’t you?”

“Only love could hurt like this, I guess.” You shrugged sadly. “I don’t want to feel like this, Foggy.. I don’t want to look at him and see a different person. I- I don’t want everything to change because of a stupid costume. I just want Matt back.”

Foggy was quick to come around from behind the desk and wrap you in a tight hug. That embrace was enough to break every wall you had, allowing every ounce of pain and loss and regret and sadness that you’d been keeping out for weeks crashed into your chest with a force that was enough to buckle your knees. You sunk into his hug and cried quietly, Foggy rubbing your back gently. As you sobbed gently, you realized that it was the first time you could remember crying in front of Foggy. The first time you had shown any sort of vulnerability around him. And that only made you cry more.

Once you managed to pull yourself together, you headed back into the main office. You found Karen was already gone, a text waiting on your phone that told you she went to the Bulletin. You blew out a sigh and told Foggy you’d catch him later before walking out and aimlessly wandered down the street while trying to clear your head. Though nothing was going to be figured out anytime soon.

It was late by the time you got back to your apartment, the sun having gone down while you were out. You were drained by the time you flopped onto your couch. Out of habit - or maybe some twisted sense of desire - you reached for your burner. You checked the calls and found two missed from Matt. You almost smiled when you thought of how he still went to you for help, but it quickly faded as you chopped it up to Elektra being gone.

Ignoring it, you went to sleep. If it was that big of a deal, he would’ve left a voicemail or called more than twice.

All units, suspect Frank Castle, believed to be armed and extremely dangerous.

The words ringing in your brain the next morning made you jolt upright, nearly falling off the couch. You reached for your regular cell phone and found no new messages or calls. You hurried to turn on your TV but there was nothing on the news about it.

Maybe it was a dream. Maybe it was your brain trying to piece together something to make you feel anything other than empty. But would Frank be the ticket item?

Before you could think more on it, your phone rang.

Unknown number.

“Hello?” You answered quickly.

“Miss me, Princess?” Frank replied and you felt every muscle in your body tense.

“You’re insane, yknow that?” You chuckled and shook your head. “And I’m still pissed at you for blowing your trial so this better be good.”

“Yeah, I figured.. Listen, I’ll tell you everything, okay?”

“You’re goddamn right you’re gonna tell me! Because you don’t get to go on some bullshit rant - that not only closed your case but practically blew my firm apart - and expect me to just forget about it and be friends again.”

“I know, Livia. I know, just.. Just gimme a chance to explain, okay?”

You sighed and rubbed your eyes, pushing yourself up to go get ready.

“Cops know you got out.” You said simply. “Heard it on their radios not too long ago… Thought I was hearing things at first but then you called and now it all makes sense.”

“I need you to hear me out.”

“I will… Just not right now. Stay out of sight - somewhere safe - and I’ll meet up with you later tonight.”

“No, it can’t wait that long.” He insisted.

Your phone buzzing in your hand made you pull away and check it, seeing a call from another unknown coming in.

“It’s gonna have to wait a little bit, at least. Something else just came up and I’m betting it has something to do with you. Just hang tight, alright?”

“Alright… Call me back when you can.”

You ended one call and accepted the other.

“Hello?”

“Ms. Yersova?”

“Speaking.” Your brows furrowed.

“We need you to report to the courthouse immediately.”

“May I ask what this is about?”

“DA Reyes has requested the presence of the entire Nelson and Murdock firm. That’s all we can say at this time.”

“Hmm… Okay, I’ll be right there.”

You rushed through a shower and got ready before grabbing a taxi and getting to the courthouse. You were met by a federal agent and led through the crowd until you reached Karen and Foggy.

“Hey. You guys alright?” You asked as you joined them.

“Security is nuts.” Karen commented. “Are you-“ She looked back at you. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, why?”

“You just look a little tired, is all..”

“Few rough nights.” You shrugged.

“With Frank Castle on the loose, I wouldn’t expect nights to get any better.” Foggy said as he glanced around, clearly looking for Matt.

“No, it’s too soon, even for Frank.” You shook your head and looked at all the commotion around you. “Something else has to be going on.”

“Guessing that’s what the DA wants to ask us about.”

“Okay but… What if-“ You began, trying to figure out the best way to word it without sounding like you knew something. “What if Matt was right? After the trial, when he said someone got to Frank… What if they did? What if someone helped get him out?”

“But who’d be able to do that in a day?” Karen asked but all you could do was shrug.

“Mr. Nelson, Ms. Page. This way please.” An agent came and ushered your friends away, leaving you on the stairs.

Just in time for Matt to get dropped off.

“Surprised you came.” You commented as he made it to where you were waiting. “After that very moving confession of not needing us anymore.”

“Livia? You alright?” He asked gently.

“No, I’m not. One of my best friends turned his back on me and now…” You sighed and collected your thoughts. “Now, Frank is out and I’m pretty sure Reyes is gonna blame us.”

“But there’s no way you could’ve-“

“What do you know?” You cut in.

“Excuse me?”

“About this.” You stepped closer so you could speak quieter. “About Frank. You have to know something.”

“I don’t.” He answered with a shake of his head.

“Don’t bullshit me right now, Matt. You always know something.”

“Not this time.”

“Ms. Yersova, Mr. Murdock. We’re ready for you.” The same agent that took Foggy and Karen guided you and Matt through security.

Soon, the four of you were being led down the halls to Reyes.

“Livia, Karen.” Matt called. “You two spent the most time with him. He say anything at all that could help us right now?”

You laughed once and shook your head. Matt knew damn well from the conversation you had just moments before that you didn’t know anything, yet he still felt the need to ask.

“Nothing about an escape.” Karen answered for you.

“Here, take a look at these.” Foggy said as he passed you a folder.

“What am I looking at?” You took the folder and flipped it open.

“Castle’s transfer paperwork. It’s not like he was waltzing into some country club. They were burying him in their highest security unit…”

“With all the other heavy hitters on cell block D.” You commented as you glanced through the pages before handing it off to Karen.

“Matt?” You said quietly.

Glancing to the side, you saw his head tilt but no other acknowledgement. “Frank wasn’t in the same block as Fisk, by chance, was he?”

You turned your head, making the gesture look like you were just reading signs on the hall, but you caught Matt’s reaction. His brows furrowed and jaw tightened. You could see the anger begin to seep off him before he cleared his mind.

That was all the answer you needed. And it let you piece together what Frank wanted to talk to you about.

You had to quickly swallow your anger for the time being. You knew the moment you got ahold of Frank, you were going to make it known just how pissed off you were with him.

“О, черт.” You sighed as you were all ushered into the DA’s office. (Oh shit.)

“Cell block D?” Matt asked as you three were left alone.

“Yeah… Why?” You feigned curiosity.

“That mean something to you?” Foggy piped up.

“Yeah, well I like to keep track of people who want to kill us.”

“The fact there’s a list is startling but go on.” You joked and Karen smacked your arm. “Only other person I could think that has it out for us - other than Reyes - is Fisk.”

“Exactly.” Matt nodded.

“Frank blows his trial and ends up on Fisk’s cell block?” Karen repeated.

“And a day later, he’s back on the street.” Matt finished.

“You were right. Someone got to Frank..” You said through your sigh. “Question now is what did Fisk have that Frank would want.”

“Hold on.” Foggy cut in. “Those are two very different dots. You can’t just connect them.”

“Come on, Foggy.” Matt urged. “I’m right. Fisk made this happen.”

“Look at how everything lines up, right.” You spoke up, knowing it would only come across as Matt’s ego talking if he kept going. “We put away Fisk so he has a vendetta against us. The Punisher case is plastered literally everywhere so he had to have heard about it and who else is on the front page? Nelson and Murdock. He has enough money left over to buy a couple guards, so he buys a guard that can get close to Frank. When Frank came into court that day, something was wrong and that guard was off. They end up in the same cell block and now he’s out. And how much you wanna bet I can request some records and find some sort of a trademark Punisher style brawl not dated that much earlier? As much as I hate him right now-“ You pointed to Matt.

“Hurtful.” Matt nodded.

“But warranted.” You countered. “Regardless, there’s some merit to this theory.”

The door opened and your conversation was as quick to halt. As you were ushered into Reyes’ office, her frazzled state jarred you. You had to take a step back because it hit you so suddenly. It was unexpected from a woman who had a stare so hard it could cut diamonds, so cold it could freeze Hell.

Your group took their seats, Karen and Foggy on the ends with you and Matt in the middle. You let out a deep breath and let it serve to blow the buzzing from the air.

“Let’s not bullshit, hmm?” You spoke up, leaning back in the chair and resting your elbows on the armrests. “You brought us here to try and bully privileged information about our client out of us.”

“Yes… if it helps.” She admitted easily.

“It doesn’t.” You smiled sarcastically.

“We have to get Frank Castle off the street before anyone else gets hurt.”

“We?” You scoffed and shifted to lean forward, causing her to lean back. “You think we’re going to help you after the stunts you’ve pulled against my firm?”

“If you want our cooperation, then we need to know what you know.” Matt interrupted.

Though you didn’t appreciate him cutting in, you could see what he was doing. He was thinking as Daredevil, as someone who promised to keep Fisk away and handle the Punisher. So far, Fisk was only physically away but his influence was still reaching. And Frank was right back, calling you like he hadn’t just escaped prison with multiple capital crimes against him.

“Everything.” You added firmly. “Or we don’t even consider it and we walk out that door.”

“I’ve made mistakes.” She said hesitantly.

You rubbed your fingers together and focused on her doubts, hoping to crumble them and leave her more open to talking. You felt her uncertainty wavering, cracking apart until it finally collapsed. You smirked slightly as she continued the story.

“Central Park.. Castle and his family. I screwed up.”

“Frank Castle’s family being gunned down is not a mistake. It’s a massacre.” Karen insisted and you nodded, pointing to her to show you agreed.

“Wait.” Reyes defended. “I swear to God, if I had any idea that people might get hurt, I wouldn’t have done that!”

“That doesn’t matter!” You said firmly. “Because at the end of the day, rather than make things right with Frank, you wanted to put him in the ground to cover your mistake.. You put the DNR to save your career. You don’t get to trade lives!”

You mentally facepalmed as soon as the words left your mouth. You sounded exactly like Daredevil and Matt knew it. He was practically glowing with pride.

“You don’t get to pass your consequences off on someone else because you’re afraid to own up to them.”

“Why am I not surprised your office was part of it?” Foggy said simply.

“They were more than part of it.” Karen said knowingly. You leaned around Matt to hear her better and she looked to you in return. “It was a sting.”

“How do you know that?” Reyes panicked.

You discreetly waved a hand to wipe the tension away and allow the information to keep flowing.

“I’ve gotten really good at digging up shit people like you wanna keep buried.”

“Probably not a good idea to..” Matt leaned over and whispered to Karen.

You watched as Reyes turned around and let her assistant tell the story. You scoffed quietly at how pathetic it was.

“Last year, the DA’s office learned there was a new player in the drug trade. Calls himself the Blacksmith. He wasn’t gonna flood the market, he was gonna be the market.” He explained. You didn’t have to manipulate anything to keep him talking.

“We were tracking kilos but he was dealing in metric tons. Volume like that should’ve made him easy to find but the guy was a ghost. No sign of how he was getting the product into the country, nothing. Then one of the cops we planted deep undercover got word that the Blacksmith was arranging a meet between three unaffiliated gangs.”

“Let me guess. Kitchen Irish, Mexican Cartel, and Dogs of Hell.” You said sarcastically.

“He wanted to broker a deal, set a meet for midafternoon in Central Park. Our guys were there and ready but the sting just went south.”

“Went south?” You laughed bitterly. “Went south is what you say when your drunk uncle starts a fistfight at the family reunion, not when a mother and her two children are gunned down in broad daylight! When you try to murder their father just to keep it quiet!”

“You didn’t clear the park, did you?” Matt challenged.

“I thought about it.” Reyes nodded, as if that would make it okay. “But I decided an empty park could show our hand. So yes… I greenlit the operation, civilian traffic and all.”

“You put innocent kids at risk.” You emphasized.

“Yes, but-“

“There is no but!” You cut in quickly. “You cannot justify something that hurts kids! You could've had officers in positions posing as civilians. Did you even think about that?”

“And then it all oh-so-predictably went to shit.” Foggy continued.

“Blacksmith didn’t show.” She continued and that time you did scoff.

“The gangs got rattled before we could move in and they opened fire on each other… Our undercover was killed and Castle’s family.. Goddamnit.”

“After that horrendous decision, you tried to make it worse. You tried to kill him and ruin us to save your own political ass.” Foggy shook his head in disbelief.

“Maria Castle. Frank Castle Jr. Lisa Castle. Frank Castle. All of them paid a price just to save your pathetic little career in this office.” You said viciously, venom lacing every syllable.

“You know what, lady, you’re on your own.”

“Wait!” Reyes insisted as you and Foggy began to stand. “This isn’t about me anymore.”

Slowly, you sat back down.

“I found this in my daughter’s backpack before sending her off to school.” Reyes explained and showed Frank’s cranial x-ray.

“Once he gets his sights on a target, he never stops. You know that.”

“So what? You think he’d hurt your daughter?” You asked seriously. You were almost offended that she would insinuate that.

“Where is she?” Matt asked.

“Upstate. Somewhere I can never know about. She’s surrounded by men with guns… Assigned to protect her.”

While you felt sympathy for her in regards to her daughter, you were still irritated since she thought Frank would hurt the girl.

“Frank wouldn’t target your family.” You said simply. “None of you will get this but he’s not heartless, alright? He’s not a monster. He has morals and a- a- a code, I guess, that he operates by. He only hurts people who deserve it.”

“And I’m supposed to trust that?” She scoffed. “What happens if he decides she does?”

“He won’t.”

“Look, I don’t care how much time you spent in an interrogation room with him. He’s coming after my child.”

“You don’t know that!”

“And you do?” She yelled.

“The man lost his own daughter!” You shouted and stood, slamming your hands on her desk. “He knows that kind of pain and grief. You really think he’d want that for anyone else?”

“Didn’t seem to stop him before “ She said, trying to mask her fear with anger.

“What do you want from us?” Matt asked, reaching for your arm but then deciding otherwise. Instead, Foggy reached forward and pulled you back.

“If he contacts you, just let us know.”

“You want us to break privilege?” Foggy asked, clearly insulted.

“I wanna make sure nobody else gets hurt.”

“Only because it’s someone you care about.” You pointed out, scooting forward to the edge of your seat but Foggy and Matt both put arms out to keep you from standing again. “If you weren’t scared for your daughter’s life, we wouldn’t be here. Would we? You’d go on some other crusade to take him down with another shoot to kill in place. And it’s funny that you didn’t mention or take responsibility for the DNR you ordered. You can’t even say their names…”

“I know what I’ve done here but…” Reyes began again but Matt grabbing your forearm distracted you.

He leaned over to speak quietly and you leaned into him to hear him.

“Get down.” He muttered.

You were quick to move to your side and take Foggy down with you while Matt dove to cover Karen. You kept your friend down until the bullets stopped then you slowly got yourself up. The only problem was that when you leaned your weight on your right arm, your arm collapsed and you fell back on the floor.

Frank was right. You don’t hear the ones that get you.

You rolled to your back and glanced down, seeing a bloody line carved into your shoulder and a red soaked bullet on the ground. You cursed softly and scooted up to lean against the wall. You clamped a hand over your wound and dropped your head against the wall, clenching your jaw tightly to keep the groans of pain quiet.

“Foggy.” You managed and tried to reach for him, though moving the arm with the bullet caused you to cry out loud. “Foggy. Foggy, Foggy, Foggy.” You repeated quietly as he knelt by your side.

“I need you to-“ You winced. “I need you to tear the sleeve off, okay? And I need you to tie it so the knot is- Ah! So the knot is over this.”

“Livia, I can’t..” He tried but you shook your head quickly with your eyes closed.

“I need you to do this.” You whined. “Please.”

“I-“ He sighed and you felt his hands grip your sleeve. “Ready?”

“Just do it.”

You cried out as he pulled the sleeve and it ripped free from your shirt. You bit your bottom lip as he maneuvered your arm and tied the sleeve, squeezing the wound with the knot.

“Я убью Фрэнка, если он это сделает, клянусь Богом!” You muttered through heavy breathes as Matt came over to help you to your feet once he knew Karen was out safely. (I’m gonna kill Frank if he did this, I swear to God!)

Matt held you up as you all were ushered out of the courthouse. You were glad you had Foggy tie it off when you did, otherwise the blood loss would’ve been more catastrophic. Your footing slipped every now and then, but Matt was right there with arm around your waist to catch you.

EMTs were quick to the scene and rushed to check you out. They explained things you already knew. It was a clean shot, in and out. There was no bone damage but the muscle damage was deep, cutting right through your deltoid muscle and narrowly missing the bone of your upper arm. They recommended stitches but you adamantly refused, not wanting to waste anytime getting to Frank. Hesitantly, they told you to avoid strenuous lifting and movements for a few weeks. They cleaned and dressed the wound instead while they offered to take you to a hospital of your choice just to check and offered a few treatments but you refused.

You had to find Frank before the cops did.

“How do you feel?” Matt asked after the EMTs left you.

“I’m angry.” You said honestly, feeling the heat of your anger pulsing in your new wound. “But I don’t think this was Frank. He wouldn’t do that so recklessly when the four of us were in the way.”

“The man just shot you.” Matt scoffed.

“No, he didn’t. He wouldn’t hurt me!”

“Why do you still defend him?” He tried to walk away but you hurried to follow him.

“Why did you always defend Exodus?” You shrugged your good shoulder.

“They’re not the same.”

You thought about how that was a blatant contradiction to what he told Elektra, that all three of you were the same. But you knew better than to make a big deal about. However, it didn’t stop you from pointing it out casually.

“Maybe, maybe not, but that’s not what you told Elektra.”

That earned you a scowl.

“Point is, you saw something good in her at the beginning. You believed in her at one point, right? Well I believe in Frank. He’s not a bad guy, just been through so much trauma and grief and pain. Everyone has failed him but no one wants to make that right. No one wants to fight for him!”

“So what?” He urged. “You gonna pick up a gun and go shoot down people that piss you off, too?”

“Frank Castle isn’t the Punisher by default and no one understands that! Reyes created the Punisher through her own selfish decision. Why don’t you believe there’s some merit to him?”

“Why do you?” He stopped and grabbed your hand to stop you. You felt the heavy pulse of his next question roll through you. “Honestly. Why do you care, Livia? Do you.. have feelings for him?” He finished carefully, as if he was afraid to hear the answer.

“No.” You laughed slightly. “I’ve only loved three men in my life and Frank Castle is not one of them.”

He let out a small breath of relief.

“I just know what it’s like to be so full of rage and pain and grief and not know what to do with it. He knows where to direct it and all he wants to do is hurt the people who hurt him.”

“That’s not justice, Livia. It’s vengeance.”

“Sometimes they’re not so different.” You shrugged, which made his jaw drop slightly and his brows furrowed.

“What I’m trying to say is that he’s still a man. He’s a husband and a father. He’s strong in his beliefs and he’s honest. Everyone wants to criminalize him. I know he acts like some idiot with a gun and he’s supposed to be treated like a lost cause and even by the Devil’s rules, he’s a villain. I know what everyone believes and I know what I’m supposed to say but I just don’t see it.”

“I don’t get it.” He said softly. “How can you see so much good in him?”

You shrugged.

“He’s protective and he cares about people. He reminds me of someone else that I kinda know.”

“Don’t say Daredevil.” He scowled and you cracked a small smile.

“In some ways, he does.” You said honestly.

You hadn’t even realized it until your latest rant but it was true. Frank wasn’t all that different from Daredevil. The biggest and most obvious difference was the blood on their hands, or lack thereof. But the similarities were more noticeable now.

They both were protective of you while respecting you completely. They didn’t want you to get hurt but they both knew you could handle yourself. They stood strong in their beliefs, refusing to back down against anyone, and they weren’t afraid to take responsibility for what they did. They weren’t afraid to challenge you either.

At the basest level, the deepest core level of their activities, they were practically the same.

“I need to find him, Matt. I know you can help me.” You admitted.

“Why?” He asked simply.

“Because I want to ask if he shot me. I want to know why he worked with Fisk… And I want to hear it from him.”

Matt waited there for a moment, processing your words. You could tell he wanted to do this alone. He didn’t want you tagging along so you didn’t get hurt. But he also liked that you were going to him for help. He liked the idea of chasing a lead together outside the masks.

“Alright, come on.” He jerked his head for you to follow. “I know where to start.”

“I need a new shirt first.”

You two ended up at the prison after a quick detour to your apartment. It was easy enough to get in to see Fisk, though his own lawyer seemed to hover. He shoved affidavits into each of your hands and Matt signed his easily. You hung back and read it over while Matt was led in to talk to him. You leaned against the wall and tapped your pen against the paper in thought.

“Kinda extensive, huh?” A man asked as he came to your side.

“Yeah.” You laughed slightly. “Makes you wonder who’s really in charge around here…”

“I hate coming to deal with this guy.” He shook his head. “But everyone’s gotta draw the short stick every now and then.”

“You from his legal team?”

“God no.” He laughed. “FBI. You?”

You hummed and turned to face him.

“Part of the firm that got him locked up in the first place.” You smiled.

“Really? I am impressed.” He smiled slightly. “Harvard? No. Princeton?”

“Columbia.”

He clicked his tongue in disappointment. “That was my next guess.”

You laughed.

“So what brings you in?” He asked casually. There was a bit of suspicion in his voice but nothing that you couldn’t talk around, likely just part of his job.

“I got shot earlier and the prime suspect is a guy I think Fisk helped get out. Came to find out what he knows.”

“You got shot and the first thing you do is come pick a fight at a prison?”

“Pretty much.” You shrugged your good shoulder. “Why? Is that not the normal response?”

“You’re one tough cookie, aren’t you?” He smiled lazily.

“Oh yeah.” You nodded and gestured to yourself. “I’m a regular badass.”

“I bet.. I’m Dex, by the way.” He held a hand out for you to shake.

“You always introduce yourself with a nickname?” Your brows lifted as you shook his hand. “Alivia.”

He rolled his eyes in amusement. “Ben Poindexter. That better?”

“Very.” You nodded with a grin. “Think I can get away with signing a fake name?” You shook the papers from Fisk’s lawyer.

“Something tells me you can get away with a lot more than that.” He chuckled.

“Ms. Yersova.” His lawyer came to ask. “Have you signed it?”

You glanced between the man and your new friend before pushing off the wall. You shot Dex a quick wink and handed the papers back to Fisk’s lawyer. He skimmed them and scowled when he saw no signature.

“You don’t care about the affidavit.” You said convincingly, waving your hand to dismiss his intent. “You’re not worried about me or what I came for. Fisk is more than happy to talk to me.”

“I think it’ll be fine, just this once.” He nodded before going back, you assumed for Matt.

“Okay.” Dex came to your side with a chuckle. “Now I’m impressed. You ever get bored of this legal stuff, I bet you’d be great at the FBI.”

“Yeah?” You turned to face him.

“Yeah. Something tells me you’d make a kickass special agent.”

“Y’know, that may not be a terrible idea…”

“Here’s my number if you ever wanna try it.” He smiled and handed you a card.

“You just keep these on hand?” You laughed and tucked the card into your pocket.

“It works, doesn’t it?” He defended with a chuckle. Someone called for Dex so he offered a quick apology before taking off. You decided you needed to make a quick call so you weren’t walking in with nothing.

You stared at the contacts in your phone, two numbers shining back at you.

moon man<3

even steven<3

One number would lead you to the man you needed. The other would take you to someone who had no idea. You knew who you should call first, but you found yourself wanting to talk to them both. You let out a small sigh and clicked one at random, letting fate decide who you would talk to first.

“Hello?” He said carefully, a clear accent in his voice.

“Hi Steven.” You said softly. “How are you?”

“Alivia…” He breathed. “Hi.”

You chuckled gently. “Hi.”

“I- Uh. How- How have you been?”

You took a second and thought, drumming your fingers against your lips before answering.

“I’m doing okay.. You?”

“No you’re not.”

“What?”

“That little pause.” He noted. “You do that when you wanna keep something to yourself.”

“Almost forgot how attentive you are.” You smiled to yourself. It was different compared to the way Daredevil was attentive and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t miss it. “I’m struggling a little bit but I’ll figure it out.. I always do.”

“You don’t have to do it alone.. You could always come back. I don’t even really know why you left..”

“To take my Bar exam.” You nodded, leaning against the wall and chipping at the paint slightly. “I told you that.”

“Yeah.. But you didn’t say you weren’t coming back.”

You sighed and closed your eyes for a moment. “I’m sorry, Steven. I never wanted to hurt you. Staying in New York was never the plan. You and M- … You were one of the very few ‘what if’s I wanted to come back to.”

“You still can.” He said softly, so gently that you barely heard him.

“I can’t.”

“Alivia…”

“I’m so sorry…” You sighed. “There‘s too much going on to just up and leave now.”

“I never stopped loving you. I’ve thought about you almost everyday.” He spoke quickly, as if there was a timer ticking down on your conversation and he wouldn’t get another chance to tell you that.

“I don’t deser-“

“Don’t do that.” He cut in quickly. “Don’t even try that. You deserve everything good, Love.”

“I’ve missed you.” You laughed sadly.

“Wait. Why did you call?”

“I don’t know… I just wanted to talk to you, I guess.”

“You’re a terrible liar, yknow that?” He chuckled sadly.

“So I’ve been told.. I’ve gotta go, okay?”

“Right, well, don’t be a stranger then. Laters, gators.”

You ended the call and held the phone against your chin. You felt the tears welling in your eyes and you hadn’t realized just how much you had missed him. Leaning your head against the wall behind you, you closed your eyes and sighed inwardly. As innocent as the conversation with Steven had been, you needed Marc.

You pushed yourself up and were using your phone as a mirror to check your eyes when you received a call back.

moon man<3

You cleared your throat and buried your sadness as you answered.

“What kind of trouble are you in now?” He said quickly, though any hint of an accent was now gone.

“Nice to hear from you too, Marc.” You rolled your eyes slightly.

“Cut the shit, Liv. Where are you? I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

You could hear things rustling around in the background, and you figured he was hurrying to pack a bag and gather together whatever he thought he would need. It was nice to know he still cared.

“I’m not in trouble.”

“Liv.” He said firmly.

“Marc.” You mocked his tone.

“Seriously?” He scoffed.

“I promise I’m not in trouble.. But I do need your help. I just need you to help me find someone.”

“That’s all you need?”

“Yes.” You chuckled.

“Okay.. But you gotta answer one question.”

“Go ahead.”

“Why didn’t you come back?”

You sighed. “They found me. There were at least three of them and one of them might’ve been Yelena… I had to get them away from you but I wasn’t going to go after my cousin so I left.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

“If I came back covered in blood, how do I explain that?”

Silence.

“I didn’t know if I would come back to you or Steven, but I knew the best way to keep you both safe was to leave. I came back to New York and took my Bar Exam. That wasn’t a lie. Like I told Steven, I didn’t plan on staying here.”

“So why did you?”

“Things got crazy and then Matt-“

“Matt?” He scoffed. “Your ex-boyfriend from college?”

“We never dated.” You corrected.

“Sorry. Should I have said ‘your first love from college’?”

“Are you done?”

“You seriously stayed for Matt, the guy you said picked some other girl over you, when you had me? And Steven?”

“It’s not that simple.”

“Then what else kept you there?”

“Y’know, when I’m not talking to you from inside a prison, I’ll gladly answer that.”

“Goddammit, Liv.” He sighed.

Silence passed over the conversation for a second.

“You ever get the envelopes?” He asked instead.

“Yeah… You’re talking to a fully licensed lawyer.”

“That’s my girl.” You could hear the smirk in his voice. “And I heard about your case, that guy Frank Castle. Hell of an ending.”

“Ha ha.” You said sarcastically. “Can I ask you something now?”

“Yeah.”

The memory flashed in your mind, laying on your back in some abandoned temple. Sand sticking to your body and your blood pooling around you. There was a voice, deep and rumbling and taunting as it tried to get you or Marc to agree. You remembered seeing Marc stand and then you woke up in bed and you almost convinced yourself it was just a dream.

“That night in Egypt, when we both almost died… How did I get out?”

“That’s when I started with Khonshu, remember?”

“Yeah but how did that help me? I remember seeing you get up and the suit but after that… Next thing I know, I woke up in the safe house.”

“I told him I wasn’t leaving you… He showed me that there’s certain instances where the healing from the suit can be used on someone else. Haven’t been able to do it since though. Guess it hasn’t mattered as much as it did with you.”

“You saved me…” You smiled softly.

“Cause I loved you.” He said simply, as if it was obvious.

It was your turn to be quiet for a minute as you thought about the past tense of the word. It stung a bit when compared to Steven’s confession just moments ago.l, but you recognized it was selfish to assume Marc would hold out feelings for you.

“I planned on coming back after my exam. You were the person I wanted to be with when everything came in. I just figured it was safer if I stayed away for a while longer and then I got caught up here…”

“I could’ve handled it.”

“Maybe… But I can’t change what I did. I can just say I’m sorry, which truly I am. You’re the only other ‘what if’ I wanted to chase… I’m not asking you to forgive what I did. I just need you to try and find someone for me, Marc.”

“Yeah, okay.. Give me a name and I’ll see what I can do.”

“Vanessa Marianna. She’s really into art but is probably gonna be somewhere around Europe without extradition. She’s also probably moving around a lot, high security.”

He chuckled. “She a contract for you?”

“I don’t take contracts anymore.. I’m working a case and I need leverage against someone to get information.”

“Just use your little tasers. That usually works.” He joked.

“Oh yeah.” You smiled. “I’ll walk into a courtroom with those and see how far I get.”

“Y’know, I’m proud of you, Livs.” He said softly. “I really am.”

“Thanks, Marc… That means a lot.”

“I’ll see what I can find, alright? And if you’re ever in London again…”

“You’ll be the first person I visit. I promise.”

“Talk soon.” He chuckled.

“Bye.”

You turned back to see Fisk’s lawyer guiding Matt out and you could see the blood on his teeth. You shoved your phone away and hurried to him, tilting his head up and to the side as you checked on him. He gently

pushed your hands away, which was a good thing given how hot they were already getting.

“Let’s go.” Matt told you and you could tell his pride was a bit bruised.

“No, I’m going in there.” You said angrily, trying to push past him but an arm came across your chest. “Don’t do this here.”

“Let’s go.”

“No.”

“Woah, woah.” You heard the familiar voice at your side and you smiled to yourself. “Let the lady go and let’s talk about this.”

“I need to talk to Fisk.” You said simply. “He’s in my way.”

“You won’t get anything out of him.” Matt reasoned.

“I can be very convincing.”

“Livia, come on.”

“Don’t worry about it, man.” Dex stepped in, patting Matt’s arm while you pushed him away slightly. “I’ll go with her. Nothing’s gonna happen.”

“If Fisk touches her, I swear to God.”

“Scout’s honor, buddy. Nothing she can’t handle, right?”Dex nodded and gestured for you to go ahead.

You waved your hands at the guards, watching white haze cover their eyes as you cleared every feeling they had. They had no loyalty, no sense of purpose. No anger or worry or even interest. They were simply bodies at that point, though you couldn’t bring yourself to care.

You entered the small interrogation room and set your shoulders back as you got close to Fisk. You glanced back and found Dex nodding, gesturing that he’d wait for you in the hall.

“I knew our paths would cross again, though this isn’t how I imagined it.” Fisk said as you reached the table. “How’s business nowadays?”

“Why let Castle out?” You asked simply, pressing your hot palms against the cold table.

“Yes, I heard you were involved with Mr. Castle. The question is if you are involved in all aspects of his endeavors?”

“What do you gain by helping the Punisher?”

“I did no such thing.”

“Bullshit. You two ended up in the same cell block. You telling me that was an accident?”

“Must’ve been. It’s rather interesting the way fate has brought you to Castle, brought Castle to me, and now… It’s has brought you back to me.”

“What about the way no guards stepped in when you beat the shit out of Murdock just now?”

“The guards must’ve-“

You slammed a fist down onto the table, making Fisk flinch just the smallest bit.

“You can talk anyone else in circles but not me. I know your games and they’re pathetic. What. Did you want. Castle for?”

“Nothing…”

“Oh, man.” You stood tall and sighed. “I don’t know what Vanessa saw in you… But I guess I can ask her when I find her.”

“What did you say?” His anger finally sparked.

“I have eyes everywhere, big guy. But I bet you knew that. I have people in every country looking for her, but you were probably counting on that since you have her moving every so often. I’ve taken it upon myself and blasted her name, photo, and basic information to all of my contacts so it’s only a matter of time before she’s found… Do you wanna know what I’ll do to her when I find her?”

“You don’t hurt women.” He tried but his uncertainty only pushed your taunting further. “You protect them.”

“Maybe I’ve changed.” You shrugged. “But I’m sure Matt has already talked about Vanessa, pulling her Visa and all that legal stuff, right?”

Silence.

“You know what the Punisher has done. I guess you’d have to if he caught your attention. His work is gonna look like a children’s cartoon when I’m done with her. Her own mother won’t be able to recognize her… I’d recommend a closed casket.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“Maybe letting out the one man who’s just as lethal as I am wasn’t the best idea, was it? Who's gonna stop me, hm? Unless you got Castle on your payroll somehow.”

His jaw clenched but he said nothing.

“Then I guess I’ll have to beat it out of you via Vanessa.”

He stood suddenly and grabbed your shirt front with one hand and locked the other around your throat. You smiled wickedly and grabbed onto his wrist. Your hands grew hot with a fierce heat that you pushed forward and he winced as you locked your fingers together. You hopped up, angling your feet against the edge of the table, before kicking off and tucking your knees so you would fall backwards. His face slammed the table and he dropped his hold, making you hit the concrete ground roughly. You rolled to your back and spun so your feet were at the table again, but when you kicked off, you pushed the table into his stomach and pushed yourself through a tumble. The impact worked in shoving him back into his chair so you stood proudly, rubbing your aching shoulder and feeling your sleeve grow damp with the blood of a reopened wound.

“You think you have power? You think you’re earning anything back?” You laughed as Fisk looked to the door you came in from. “Let me show you power.”

You shot your hand towards the door and closed your fist, picturing you were grabbing the controls of the guards. You twisted your hand over, raising their interest and concerns. Only they weren’t worried or interested in what you would do to Fisk. You made them worried about you.

You felt Fisk begin to panic as the guards turned towards the room and leaned in closely to watch. You flattened both palms again and leaned in. He reared back and threw a fist at you, his broad hand slamming into your jaw and causing a small pop to sound at the joint.

You couldn’t hide the manic laughter as you pressed the other side of your jaw and felt the grinding of your bones back into place.

“You can think you’re in charge here but you need to remember that I can dismantle everything you build.” You smiled wickedly as he slammed your face against the steel table.

“You’re weak.” You spat before you slammed your face again to prove a point.

“You’re insane!” He yelled.

“No, I just play this game better.”

“I should’ve killed you in that alley!”

“But you didn’t!” You shouted before another slam.

One final slam gave you the crack you were hoping to hear. You stood straight and smiled, knowing how unsettling the image would be as the blood poured down your face before you took a couple steps back and feigned panic.

“Help! Help, he broke my nose!” You cried and lifted your hands towards your cheeks shakily. “Please!”

Dex and two guards burst in quickly, slamming Fisk against the table. You leaned over and braced yourself against your knees as you taunted him one last time.

“Why let Castle out? Distraction from what you’re doing here? Or you just need him to do your dirty work?” You asked and he growled at you in answer.

“Second one it is.” You nodded and stood up. “You want him to clear the way so you can get back to the top with as few obstacles as possible. You can hope and plan to get out of this place… But just know, the minute you think you’re safe in your little penthouse, I will find you. And you will regret ever having contacted me in the first place.”

You locked your fingers and placed the heels of your hands against either side of your nose as guards hauled Fisk away. You yanked the cartilage back into place with a groan as Dex came to check on you.

“You really are crazy, aren’t you?” He asked as he gestured to your now bloody face.

“Still think I’d be good for the FBI?” You teased and wiped your sleeve across your face.

“You’d be one hell of a partner.” He chuckled and led you back to Matt.

“It was nice to meet you!” You called over your shoulder as you and Matt were leaving.

“See you ‘round, Alivia.” Dex saluted and you had a feeling it wouldn’t be the last time you’d see him.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Matt scolded as he dragged you out of the prison and into the cab that waited for you two.

“What now?” You groaned, using the cuff of your sleeve and your phone’s camera to try and clean the blood off your face.

“You instigated him into putting hands on you.”

“Didn’t you do the same thing?”

“No.”

“The blood still on your teeth says otherwise.” You answered in a singsong voice. “You can’t stand on the high ground when you did the same thing.”

“Difference is, I can handle it.”

“And you think I can’t?”

“Livia, he broke your nose.” Matt scolded and you scoffed.

“I broke my own nose.”

“Excuse me?”

“I broke my own nose.” You repeated. “He wasn’t gonna hit me hard enough so I did it myself.”

“Why would you- Oh my god!”

“I needed to prove a point. I proved it. Can we move on? I don’t need you to protect me from everything, Matt. You have to understand that.”

“I know.” He sighed, though you knew he didn’t mean it. He knew you weren’t helpless but he didn’t think you could take the bigger, more dangerous situations. “I just-“

“I’m not helpless. I appreciate your concern and I love you for it. But I need you to trust me a little bit more than you do now.”

“I love you too. Livia… And I do trust you.”

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americanmoths · 4 years ago

Text

The Department of Perfect Timing

for @drarrymicrofic prompt: adoption | tw: mentions of child abuse | nsfw: mentions of blow jobs | ao3 link

Potter has a habit of showing up in Draco’s life at the absolute worst possible moments, except for that one time when he pulled Draco from the Fiendfyre or that other time when he arrived late to Luna’s karaoke birthday party and Draco was already unbutton-all-of-the-buttons-on-his-shirt drunk and they dueted You’re the One-Eyed Newt for Me and then Potter blew him in the bathroom. Don’t tell anyone, but Draco wanks to that memory almost daily.

But Potter turning up frenetic and wet to the Department of Magical Family Matters and Nonmagical Emotional Affairs at the very tail-end of Draco’s first day? Awful timing. Draco’s spent eight endless hours listening to people who’ve never bet on familial love and lost discuss the bullshit legal definition of family, and the robe Pansy loaned him fits all wrong, and there’s a hole in his shoe. He’s tired, and now Potter is here, dripping rainwater all over the paperwork Draco just finished organizing.

“I want to adopt a child. Today, if possible.” Awful timing. When Draco’s in charge of the department, he’ll cut all sorts of corners for Potter just to show him he can. Also, he’ll color-code the filing system and send lots of howlers that preach angry sermons about non-traditional family units. But Draco’s only a secretary at the moment, only here because Theo Nott hates owing Draco a life debt more than he hates Draco. Which means, realistically, there’s not much Draco can do other than his bullshit job.

“Are you married?”

Potter sputters. “What? No.”

“Don’t be so —“ Draco doesn’t exactly know what he’s trying to say so he just gestures generally to the other man. “It’s just a segue so I can tell you that you can’t do anything in this department if you’re not married. Thou shalt not adopt a crup if thee be single. I’m only kidding a little bit. The phrasing’s a joke, but that’s a real law.”

“Does that change if he’s muggleborn? He only just got his Hogwarts letter.”

Draco didn’t know Potter was friendly with any muggle children, but also it doesn’t matter. “It doesn’t matter. If you’re married, you can do whatever you want. If you’re not, you can’t. It’s a ridiculous antiquated law that reduces complicated affairs to a fucking yes or no question.”

“Is there. Any way around that?” Potter’s eyes are closed; each word deliberate, pleading, fierce, painful. A lion politely warning you it will kill you if you don’t remove the thorn from its paw now.

“The legislation is uncharacteristically clear. Only couples shall be permitted the joy and challenge of a child. That’s a direct quote. Isn’t it horrible? Of course, you could always pretend. Get married, adopt, wait a nonsuspicious amount of time, divorce, celebrate a triumphant return to bachelorhood by retaining legal custody.”

“All of my friends are married. Except for Luna and she’s … preoccupied these days.” With muggle hallucinogens, Pansy and walking around her apartment naked, none of which are especially appropriate for a child. “Malfoy, please. Can you pull some strings? It’s my cousin’s kid. They haven’t been feeding him.”

Don’t tell anyone, but it’s the please that does it.

“I’ll marry you.”

“What.” Somehow, even the water Potter splashes on Draco’s desk is incredulous.

“I can’t change the law, but I do work here. I can streamline the process. We can get married in the morning, file the paperwork after and pick up the child by tomorrow evening.”

He casts a drying charm so he has something to do other than feel disgustingly exposed while he waits for Potter’s answer.

“Why would you offer to do something like that?”

Because there’s a child in a home he doesn’t fit in. Because you called yourself untethered and then blew me in a bathroom. Because you said please, Draco thinks, and then tries hard not to think and says, “I need somewhere to stay. I’ll help you with this if you get me off of Luna’s couch.”

“This had better not be a joke.”

“Merlin, of course not. A child’s life is at stake.”

The hard line of Potter’s mouth softens just a little bit. “Do you have any experience with kids?”

“I took care of Teddy for a month while I was staying with Andromeda.”

He was great at it too, even if Teddy kept on asking him why he cried so much and Draco had never figured out a polite way to say that he kept seeing flashes of his mother in Andromeda’s face.

Potter nods. “Alright. Just until we get him out of my cousin’s house. Errr … thanks. This is … good of you.”

“When can I move into your place?” Draco asks. Now that it’s happening, he wants it to have already happened. He wants to go to the zoo with Potter and the kid, wants late night talks after the kid has gone to sleep. Hopefully, the boy’s named after a constellation, though actually Draco’s been burnt off the Black family tapestry already, so he doesn’t have any obligation to have celestial-themed offspring anymore. He’s always liked the name Micah, maybe the kid will too? The name change process is considerably less complicated than the adoption process. You can basically rename yourself anything as long as it has less than six Z’s.

Potter shrugs, smiles sheepishly. “Is now a good time?”

Draco only has 8 galleons, two friends and a job he hates. There’s a hole in his shoe, and a storm outside. It’s the worst time, but maybe the best time, actually?

#drarry #drarrymicrofic #Draco Malfoy #harry potter #fanfic #100 moths trying to write hamlet

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songbirdsingingthings · 4 years ago

Text

Sweet Escape - Levi Ackerman x Reader

WARNINGS: Angst, Major Injury, Mentions Of Blood

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters, they belong to Hajime Isayama

Part Two - AOT Masterlist - Main Masterlist

Word Count: 1.5K

It all happened so fast that it caused you to think it wasn’t even real. But, the searing pain in your abdomen told you otherwise. You registered the slightly tickly, slightly itchy feeling of the dry grass as you lay on your back. You could feel the blood pooling all around you, making your shirt and even your pants damp with it. I hope it doesn’t make its way into the ODM gear, you think, turning your head slightly in order to try and peek at the machinery on your hips. Levi will kill me if my blood ends up gumming up the gears.

*Flashback*

“L/N, if you don’t get your cloth moving and your mouth shut, you’ll have stable duty for two months. I hope you know that it will include mucking out each and every stall twice a day, every day.” You cringe a bit at your captain’s harsh tone, quickly picking the little rag up from beside you and making yourself busy by wiping the glass window panes. Captain Levi was always this way, even with his own squad. He wouldn’t stand for loitering or slacking off, which you respected, but he could be an incredible hardass sometimes. You weren’t even making that much noise, murmuring back and forth with your squadmate, but Levi just wouldn’t stand for it.

“Busted!” Your squadmate whispers, causing you to cover your mouth in order to not voice your giggles. Nonetheless, Captain Levi noticed. Nothing ever really flies past him, does it.

“Lieutenant, is something about that punishment funny to you?” He snarls, causing your head to whip around and face him. The piece of fabric that was previously tied around his head was now lowered, covering the cravat he always wore. Fire burned in his eyes and his expression was dangerous, almost asking you to tell him that it was indeed funny so that he could make your punishment even worse. You stuck to your manners though.

“No sir,” you say quickly.

“Tch,” he scoffs, putting the cloth back over his mouth and turning around so his back is facing you. “Do not leave this room until every speck of dust is cleaned out of here.”

“Yes sir,” you and your squadmate say simultaneously, exchanging worried looks. You waited until the captain left the room and shut the door behind him before you heaved a sigh.

“He hates me.” You state, staring back solemnly at the window that was already clean.

“He doesn’t hate you, he just thinks you’re a bit…” She trails, trying to find a proper word.

“Bad at being a Scout?” You offer. She shakes her head. “Well even if that’s not the word you’re looking for, it’s true.” You huff, now moving onto the armoire in the corner of the room. You let the rag gently trace the intricate carving on it, finding little joy in the indented details that attracted dust.

“Sour! He thinks you’re a bit sour.” She deduces. You look at her with a somewhat hurt expression.

“And that’s supposed to make me feel better?” You ask, raising an eyebrow.

“Well I don’t think you’re sour, neither does anyone else.” She reasons.

“But your approval isn’t what I need… not that I need approval!” You say, quickly.

“But you want his, don’t you.” Your squadmate states, earning a groan of dismay from you.

“I don’t even know why! I know I was chosen for his squad for a reason and that my statistics show for themselves, but there is just something in me that demands for him to like me as a person.” At your statement, she bursts out laughing. An incredulous look flashes across your face at her reaction. “What?!” You exclaim, feeling a little self-conscious now.

“Oh nothing, you’ll figure it out soon enough.”

It was getting tougher to breathe evenly. You were trying to focus on your breaths; in for six seconds, hold for two, out for seven seconds. Instead, you felt like you were exhaling faster than you were inhaling, providing little air for your lungs. It was like some dust was lodged in there and wasn’t budging. Maybe it actually was dust and all those times that Levi had told you to cover your mouth was for a reason. Your shirt was now fully soaked in your red blood and it started to leak out onto the prickly grass. Please let the others be okay, you think, your eyes still stuck on the azure sky. You could hear the faint yells and screams from scouts in the distance. There would be no chance that anyone would come back to get you, they were too far away. I’m going to die alone with my own thoughts, you conclude, letting tears drip from your eyes as you awaited your lonesome death. The mechanical sound of ODM gear roused you from your thoughts, causing your eyes to dart over towards the commotion. Whoever was using the gear landed quickly and their steps over to you were urgent.

“L/N!” They shouted. Your eyes closed at the voice, finding it quite ironic that the man who hated you the most would be the one to comfort you as you slipped away into the awaiting abyss of darkness. He dropped to his knees beside you and quickly scanned over your body to find the source of your bleeding.

“Levi…” You said, gasping in pain as he removed his cape from his shoulders and pressed it into your abdomen.

“Hush, brat, we don’t need you exerting any more energy than you have to.” He says, his tone still the harsh one you were used to.

“I’m sorry.” You manage, causing his gaze to lock with your own. He found your eyes to be swimming with yes, tears, but also incredible remorse. His hard exterior fell a bit at this.

“Why on earth are you sorry?” He asks, now taking off his Scout jacket and laying it across you to preserve your body heat.

“I’m sorry that I was such a bad scout… and a bad cleaner… and that I was so sour that it made you hate me.” You finish, giving him a sad smile. Levi shook his head immediately, and slid his body so it was easier for you to look at him.

“I never hated you,” He says softly. Your eyes widen at his words. “You were noisy, and talkative, and sometimes even energetic to a fault… but I never, ever hated you. How could I, when you were such a source of sunshine?” You didn’t make an effort to stop that sob that escaped your mouth.

“Man, I really blew it, huh,” you croak, feeling more lightheaded than before. Levi cocked his head in confusion. “She told me that i’d figure it out soon enough, and now that I have, it’s way too late.” You pause to take a few breaths. “I love you. That’s why I wanted you to see me as capable. But now I’m dying, and your face won’t be the one to greet me after I wake up, even though most of the time you were yelling at me because I overslept.” A strained laugh escaped you as Levi looked at you with despair laced in his eyes. “What I wouldn’t have given to just end this whole thing and leave to live in a flower-filled meadow or somewhere peaceful like that. Wouldn’t that be sweet?” You whisper. Your fingers and toes were growing numb and your body felt cold. You were running out of time. The moment your eyelids began drooping, Levi frantically lifted your head and set it down gently in his lap.

“No, no, no, you keep your eyes open Lieutenant.” He was practically begging you at this point. “I shot a signal flare so the medics will be here soon, just hold on.”

You gave him a grin, but your once pearly whites were now stained with red. Your hand reached up to cup his cheek, ignoring the screaming pain in your side. You saw the blood that your hand was smudging on his cheek, but he made no effort to cringe from it or try and wipe it off.

“You tell them that I wasn’t a crybaby when this whole thing went down, okay? I want everyone to remember me as someone who stood strong in their last moments.” Levi was shaking his head as he reached his own hand up to yours so that he could hold it.

“I’m not gonna do that, because you’re gonna be okay. You do not get to leave me, you understand?” You felt your hand begin to grow wet with his tears.

“Please don’t be sad, Levi.” You ask of him, your eyes pleading. “Can I get a smile? I’ve never seen one on you once, and I think it would look just wonderful on you.” To your loopy surprise, he obliges, sprouting a wobbly, but visible, smile. You were right. He looked wonderful. In the distance, but coming closer to you, you could hear the sounds of horses pulling a wagon behind them.

“See, the medics are right here. Just hold on a little longer!” Levi exclaims, worry still prevalent in his demeanor. You felt people gather around you, but you were too tired to open your eyes. The last thing you felt, before your mind slipped into unconsciousness, was the feeling of Levi’s lips on your forehead. What a sweet escape.

A/N: This could potentially have a part two? Idk, I’m pretty much fine leaving it here like this, but if anyone wants a part two lemme know!

879 notes · View notes

chocominnie · 3 years ago

Text

One Last Time 02 — Pjm. (M)

⇢ pairing: Jimin X Reader

⇢ Genre: Idol!Jimin, Exbf!Jimin, model!reader, sad au, fluff, tons of smut, angst

⇢ Synopsis: Your idol ex boyfriend Jimin cheated on you. You two have been broken up for a while now and the media has been keeping track of you and him. You’re trying to get over him, but the things that happen inbetween makes you re-think the entire breakup, and so does Jimin…

⇢ Song : xxxxx

⇢ Previous : 00 01

⇢ Word Count :

⇢ Warnings: dominant jimin, makeout sessions, this is honestly a sad angsty au, cheating, pregnancy, unprotected and protected sex, a bunch of sex, no really a LOT of sexual themes too, I know I’m forgetting some but sorry in advance!

⇢ Copyright: please do NOT repost, translate, or modify my works in any way, shape or form, on any platform. If found doing so , it is considered as plagiarism and appropriate LEGAL action will be taken

⇢ Authors note: This is my mini series for the summer! Get your tissues, things to take your anger out on, and sit back and watch the drama unfold. Shall we begin?

Your eyes shoot open, chest heaving heavily as you let out a blood curdling scream. Not this again. The same dream over and over again each night. It leaves you sleepless. The time on the clock on your nightstand reads 3:04 am. Just only four hours ago is when you fell asleep. But a full night’s sleep hasn’t happened for a year so why would it matter anyways.

Once you catch your breath you unplug your phone from the charger and read some of the notifications. From your window, the night-time critters sing their songs along with the persistant owl that’s somewhere around the apartment complex. You’d only noticed him, the owl, just a few months ago when your cat started meowing with his hoots.

A missed call from your uncle.

Immediately you unlock your phone and dial the number. Bringing your index finger to your mouth you gently nip on it waiting for it to answer, The rings are agonizing to you. If something has happened you only wish and pray it wasn’t as bad as you think. He’s the only parental figure left in your life.

‘‘ Princess! Hello I was just calling to speak to you earlier. But I realized you are five hours ahead of me and you had probably went to sleep.’‘

His soothing voice calms your emotions making you let out a tiny breath of air. Thank god.

‘’Hey Charlie.” You sigh. Looking towards your left, you spot Clara purring quietly next to you. You can’t help but to smile while bringing a hand over to rub her head with your thumb. She’s so small under the shining moonlight from your window.

Her white coat shines brightly amongst her, making you remember the first night you had brought her home. All she did was sleep, and it worried you because you had no prior expierence caring for anything, let alone a small animal. Clara only drank kitten milk and slept back then. Occasionally being awake enough to nip at your fingers whenever you pet or touched her.

Now she’s a bit bigger and walks around the apartment like she owns the place. Quite the little attitude she has, but its too damn cute for you to scold her whenever she does something wrong.

“ Yes I did fall asleep from after a gathering at someone’s house.’’ You continue on, bringing your knees to your chest after opening the curtain of your window fully.

The moons brightness illuminates the entire room, but not so bright for you to complain though. ‘’ Oh- was it Jimin’s? Tell him I said hell-’’

You bite your lip hard at his name. He doesn’t know and you wont even dare to let him know. Knowing him, your uncle would have a fit and oppose to come back to Seoul to ‘set the record straight.’ to Jimin. That’s the last thing you want to do, cause trouble.

‘‘ It was his brother’s house warming party.” You say, lowering your tone in your voice. You look at the nightstand for a couple of seconds just before opening the top drawer of the wooden, polished piece. Your hands shakily pull out a picture of you two together.

It was taken at Marne-la-Vallée, France right infront of Cinderella’s castle. That was the day that you and Jimin had to went to Disneyland in Paris, France. You cant help but to think, with the picture in hand, that it was one of the best nights ever. It was also the same night your virginity was taken.

‘‘ Oh.. I know that tone. Are you two arguing at the moment.”

You shrug, “ I mean you could say that.’’

No you cant.

‘‘ Alright alright I won’t talk more of him. Let’s change the subject.” He chuckles deeply into the phone.

‘‘ How’s Europe? Anything new happening on base?”

‘‘ Same old Same old. It’s been what? 2 years since I’ve left Seoul? The food is different over here. They don’t have kimchi pancakes sadly.”

You can only imagine the frowny face he makes at you whenever he doesn’t approve or like something. It always turns out to be funny.

You giggle into the phone shaking your head slightly, “ Of course. You are in Europe Charlie. Where are you getting food from anyway if you are on base?’’

‘‘ I can go off base to a certain mileage when I am off duty. I just have to report back in time. But you do know that you can always come live on base with me...’ He trails off.

Oh boy. Here he goes. He’s always talking about moving you on base with him. Hell, he’s been talking about it since before he had to go to be based in Europe. By then you were twenty years old and old enough to live by yourself. Growing up in Daegu, Korea since you were six, you felt as if Korea was home to you and you definately weren’t ready to leave yet.

Especially, after losing your parents here. Around eight years old, your aunt and mother were on the way to pick up your father from the airport. With your mom and dad also being military and based in Korea with your dad’s bestfriend, your uncle Charlie, your father had been called to take military leave to go and be based in Korea for the National Guard.

On the way back from the airport, a drunk driver had struck the car knocking them off the road and colliding head first into the railing of the bridge. All bodies were reported dead upon collision, including your aunt. Charlie didn’t take the news well at all, and so did you. Only eight years old and still a bit new to a foreign country. It was devistating for you and Charlie. Charlie did what was right and stepped up to be your legal guardian while taking some time off from the military. Till this day, he treats you like his sacred little daughter and you can’t ask for anyone better than him.

“You are old enough to live on your own and housing is avail-”

You jump at his voice on the line again, being too spaced out from the tragic memory. Before he can go on any longer you cut him off. ‘‘ Im fine with the apartment you left me. Im paying the bills on time and taking good care of it.”

‘‘ Alright fine. But that option is always available you hear me? I will always be ready for you to come with me.’’

‘‘ Okay Charlie” You groan.

‘‘ Alright.. sweetie it’s getting late on this side and it’s already 3 am on your side. Get some sleep okay? Don’t you have a model shoot thingy or something? You have those a lot.’‘

‘‘ Yes i actually do in a couple of hours. It’s been a while since I’ve did a shoot. Please eat and sleep well. Don’t injure yourself.’‘

‘‘ I promise. You promise to do the same right?’‘ He says, rustling movements are in the background.

‘‘ Yes I promise. Good night sleep tight..’‘ You smile as you wait for him to finish the rest.

He chuckles one last time on the other end, ‘‘I’ll always love you, goodnight‘’

Beep Beep Beep

You in a racy light pink lingerie with white duvets and sheets is the concept of your comeback. It’s supposed to symbolize the “Night After’’. Camera’s click and directors yell and praise you in your subtle yet damaging moves and facial expressions. You want.. no need for this comeback to be successful. Not only did your manager schedule this, but she is making sure that they release this same very day.

Nobody in this company’s industry has ever did this before. But you, you are sort of the special one. The special foreigner as they say. It’s not like you don’t like it but you don’t like that they label you as that. Stylists, employee’s hell even anybody who works there treat you as a princess. It’s not bad, but it’s just weird.

‘‘ One last one. Give me a sexy yet innocent look mama.’‘ Elliot, the director says, smiling wide at you.

You slip a finger into your mouth and do a little pout with your lips.

Elliot busts out into a roar of happiness with his hands clapping furiously. ‘‘That’s it mama yes! That’s just what we needed!’‘

Adjusting his microphone earpiece, he turns around to greet and thank everyone, ‘‘ Alright everybody this concludes our shooting! You all worked so hard today. Make it home safe, eat well.’‘

Finally. You sigh out in relief and close your eyes. It’s been a long day. Almost 6 hours of shooting. Three Videos, and five swap outfits for each session of shooting for the ‘’ Night After’’. As everyone heads out and starts cleaning up you bow your head slightly and thank them.

A stylist brings you a satin robe to cover yourself in. You thank her and put it on just before getting up from the bed and walking towards wardrobe. Once you are done putting on your clothes, your manager leads you straight out the exit. Outside awaits the car that drives you everywhere. Literally everywhere.

‘‘ Tomorrow somebody has put in a special request for you to appear as the main lead girl in their music video. It’s short notice and I told them I would have to bump some things around and notify you. But they are paying us and you good money to be in it.’‘

Money? Sounds like a plan.

‘‘ It’s fine. Who am I shooting for?’‘ You say, fluffing your hair just a little while inspecting yourself in the rear view mirror.

Your makeup is still intact with no ruins and the contacts they had given you suited you very well. A hazel with a slight bit of teal. Suddenly the car moves off into the busy streets of Seoul. You can’t help but to notice every couple that walks along the sidewalks. They seem so happy, glad to be around each other.

On the floor of the car lies your little mini backpack filled with all of your items and belongings. Picking it up, you begin to dig through it looking for some hand lotion to soothe your semi-dry hands. Once you find it you gently start to squeeze the tube.

‘‘ Kim Namjoon.’‘

You freeze. Namjoon? The same Namjoon from the group? Joonie? It’s been well… a year since you’ve seen him in person. Hell since you’ve seen all of Bangtan Sonyeondan together. Except for lastnight when Hoseok and.. that guy showed up.

You sigh already knowing the answer from the question you are about to ask.

‘‘ From…?’‘ You ask then put the lotion back in your bag. Slowly you rub your hands together to moisturize.

Your manager quickly flips through the daily planner, ‘‘ Bangtan Sonyeodan but this is for one of his mixtape songs.’‘

Thank goodness.

‘‘ That’s fine. What time will the car be arriving tomorrow?’‘

‘‘ 8 am on the dot. You need to be there by 8:30. I’ll be tending to one of my other models tomorrow so you will be alone. I can send som-’‘

‘‘ No no it’s truly okay. I know how to manage things myself. Besides, I learn from you.’‘ You reassure her with one of your winning smiles, laying your head on her shoulder.

‘‘ Aigoo what am I going to do with you?’‘

The day ends very well. The movies you’ve been watching have kept you occupied. But not occupied enough for you to keep crying at all the sad parts in the chick flicks. Breakups, someone had died, someone had even just spilled something onto the floor and that was enough to send you into tears.Only because when the main lead boy rushed to help clean it up, it reminded you of Jimin last-night helping Isabel.

‘’What is going on with myself.’’ You blow your nose into a tissue for what seemed like the thousandth time today. Clara lets out one of her meows beside you then goes back to grooming herself.

You place her onto your lap and begin to run your fingers through her fur over and over again. Such a soothing effect to you as you stare into space sulking in your thoughts.

Why is it that you weren’t enough for him? Why is it that every single little thing reminds you of him? You gave him your all and he gave you his but what happened? Where did you go wrong? Cooked, cleaned, satisfied his needs. You guys had even started to plan out what you wanted out of a family. When you wanted a baby and what you would name it. It was fun. The whole relationship was fun. Right until that scandal.

Ding.. Ding.. Ding.. DI-

You unlock your phone immediately to stop that annoying dinging noise. Not surprisingly it’s a text from Jeon Jungkook.

Kookie : Im coming over I’ll be there in exactly 3 minutes.

Kookie: Don’t think about leaving either.

Kookie: Im bringing someone with me.

Kookie: We need to have a serious talk babycheeks.

You roll your eyes at the nickname he’s given you. No matter how many times you tell him you want him to change it, he declines. There’s no point in asking anymore.

Why would he want to talk anyways and who is the person he’s bringing. Eh.. it might just be Ryan they seem to do everything together as a team.

As soon as you step foot out of your bed the sound the door clicking makes your head shoot up. How in the living hell does he know the password to your house? Rage takes over you. That’s something that you hate. When people invade your personal space. In this case, personal home.

‘‘ Jeon fucking Jungkook!’‘ You scream, abruptly stomping your feet all the way to and out your bedroom door. Suddenly you stop at the sight of the two faces staring back at you.

Jungkook’s expression holds a concerned yet upset face while the other just stands there calm and cool. But you on the other hand are way besides that level.

Your eyes must be filled with rage and the expression on your face is no good. How dare he disrespect you like that? Bringing him into your home, knowing the bad blood between you two. Oh, they both have something coming towards them. You begin to walk to them again making each step make the floor shake.

‘‘ Get out. Both of you. One you invade my personal private home..’‘

You grab both boys by their collars, making sure to grip the one on the right’s harder than usual. ‘‘ Two, you fucking invite him over here.’‘ You drag each of them towards the exit. Which is going good until Jungkook rips your hands away from his shirt and takes you over his shoulder.

You’ve had enough of him and his invasive ways. Pounding on his back with your fists, you make sure to scream into his ear. “ Put me the fuck down Jeon Jungko-”

You hiss at the stinging sensation on your ass. Did he just? Jimin stands there awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. You make sure to make eye contact with him and roll your eyes. Something that always had and will piss him off.

‘‘ Hush. I told you all of us needed to have a deep talk about you.’‘

Jungkook plops your frail body onto one side of the couch in which he sits next to you. He motions for Jimin to come sit across from the both of you but you aren’t having it.

‘‘ Don’t you do it.” You glare at him. Jungkook sighs harshly only to pluck your forehead two times. You whine and rub it with your index and middle finger.

Jungkook shakes his head in disapproval, ‘‘ When are you ever going to learn? Jimin sit down now.”

‘‘ Truthfully.. I feel as though I shouldn’t be here so-”

“ Good. Get out you are unwanted.” You snap back causing him to give you one of his long stares with no facial expression at all.

Jungkook glares at you just before getting up to throw his hands in the air full of disappointment. “ Enough! “

Yelling. Something else you don’t like to hear being done at yourself. You finally sit still and quite avoiding any eye contact with the both of them.

He sits back down and clears his throat. Jungkook gives Jimin a look before continuing on.

‘‘ I gathered us here to talk about you..”

‘‘ Why. Im fine. How many times do I have to say it. Im fine im fine im fine im fucking fine!’‘ You exclaim, getting more mad by the second. When will people accept this?

‘‘ Baby.. ’‘

Your eyes shoot up to him and his soft voice. You didn’t want to but you did because his voice to you is like candy that melts into your mouth.

‘‘ Don’t call me that. You have a girlfriend at-least be loyal to her rather than what you did to me.’‘

‘‘ Fuck is anybody going to just sit here and listen? Can we at-least get to the source of the problem? Huh?’‘ Jungkook leans back into the couch clearly pissed by your attitude.

Jimin’s the first to speak and holds a firm eye contact with you, almost daring you to break away from it.

‘‘ Fine. Im just going to cut straight to it then. Why are you so jealous? You aren’t okay at all. I seen the way you looked at us yesterday. You wanted to break down so bad but you didn’t. It looks like you’ve been dropping weight day by day why aren’t you eating well?’’

You’re taken a-back by his jealous comment. Although you are you just cannot admit it. You are jealous. You do want him back. You cant bear to see him with another girl but you. But the fact that Jimin is concerned makes you really hope. Just hope that there is something left of you still in his heart.

‘‘ Jealous? Jealous tuh.” You scoff, leaning into Jungkook’s arms where you rest his head on your chest. You only do this just to see Jimin’s reaction and by the look on his face he doesn’t enjoy that move one bit.

‘‘ Yes jealous. I mean why else would you put almond extra-

‘‘ Woah. No need to go there. We established that it was a so called accident lastnight.” Jungkook does finger quotes into the air and looks down at you.

You lift your head up and furrow your eyebrows in annoyance, “ So called? So you really believe that I did it on purpose. Wow Jungkook. Escort yourself out.’’

He sighs, wrapping his arms around you securly in hopes of you settling down a little, “ Honestly it’s not like that. I wasn’t there to see you bake them nor was I watching her eat it. Im just saying that you knew Jimin was coming and obviously his girlfriend was going to come too. It’s a little sketchy is all.”

There’s no fixing what he said. Him adding onto his explanation just made things sound worse than what he’s trying to say. You don’t have time to be ganged up on, nor like it at all. It’s best if they both just leave, to not turn nothing into something.

‘‘ Get out. Now. Before I call and tell Ryan what you said and then she’ll definitely deal with you.’‘ You say, removing yourself from off of him and onto the other side of the couch with your legs crossed.

Mad isn’t even the word to describe yourself right now. You’re just a mixture of all emotions.

Jungkook now looks of sorriness written all over his face. You bite your lip and shake your head while pointing towards the door. He sighs heavily and takes one last look at you while removing himself from the couch. You watch him slip on his coat and shoes.

Jimin gets up from his spot on the couch, ‘‘ I’ll be leav-”

‘‘ Sit down we aren’t done talking.”

He looks at you with his eyebrows furrowed, sitting back down slowly.

Jungkook keeps his head down as he wraps his blue scarf around his neck. Poor baby, but he shouldn’t of said it. “Please better yourself and talk it out with each-other. Im leaving.”

‘‘ Make it home safely.. Kookie.” You sigh once the door closes behind him. Now you’re here. Face to face with Park Jimin.

The same Jimin who cheated on you. The same Jimin you haven’t seen in a while. You take a few moments to take in his appearance. He seems to have re-gained his muscles that are peaking through his black, longsleeve shirt. His thighs are still thick, just like his luscious lips. Of course he changed his hair color to black. But who knows, he might change it again.

‘‘ You’ve been doing well?’‘ You say, voice low but enough for him to hear. You drop your eyes to your lap instead of keeping intact with his.

‘‘ Yes. But you have not. Im disappointed in you. Why are you doing this to yourself? Don’t do this because of me.”

‘‘ Jimin you don’t know the feeling. You don’t know how it feels to be left wondering why you weren’t good enough for someone. Why they had cheated on you. You don’t understand at all and wont ever.’‘ Your voice cracks on the last sentence and you an feel the lump in your throat become sore.

He bites his lip unsure of what to say next. Those words had hit him good inside. ‘‘ Im sorry. I truly am. But you know the reason why we had to end it. I fucked up bad and the media was making the scandal bigger and messier day by day. It was better to just call it off.’‘

One by one your tears start to drop. You nose begins it’s running trip but you sniffle it back up.

‘‘ You could of denied it. You know you could of made a statement and denied it. But you felt something for her didn’t you? Didn’t you?’‘ You semi-yell, sobs already starting to take it’s way over.

He bites his lip once again and ruffles his fingers through his hair, “ Baby..’’

You wipe your tears with your hands making your face even more puffy from the crying. “ I am jealous. I am I admit it Jimin. But do you know i have been suffering for one year and two months? I can’t sleep at night because im so used to your touch at night. I look at every couple in Seoul and think to myself, Dang they seem so happy. What’s their secret?’’

Jimin sits up, making eye contact with you with tears welling up into his eyes. It hurt’s you more than yourself to see him crying. It always has.

‘‘ Please don’t do that. Don’t do this to yourself. Please get help from someone to try and move on. Please. I don’t like to see or hear you make yourself suffer.’ He begs, getting up from his seat and coming towards you.

Jimin sits next to you, hesitantly opening his arms up to you. Would it be wrong to embrace him? He’s being too sincere, but thats what you want right? You decide to just do it, and lean into him only for him to pull you in closer into his chest.You just lay there crying and sobbing while he runs his fingers through your hair. You shouldn’t be doing this. He has a girlfriend. But it feels so right.

‘‘ What does she have that I don’t? Why couldn’t you love me the same way you love her “ You cry into his chest, soaking his shirt with your tears.

You’d been waiting for this moment to just let it out. Let everything out.

‘’ Please don’t make this harder than what it is right now. Just try and forget me and move on. Please.” Hypocritcal. How does he expect you to get over him when he’s the one whos holding you so tight right now. Soon enough his sniffles join yours in harmony.

You raise your head up and look him deep into the eyes while you wipe away his tears, “ Don’t cry Jimin. I’m the one supposed to be crying over you. Don’t cry.’’

He takes your hand away from his face and wraps his fist ontop of yours, “Please promise me you will move on okay?’’

You shake your head no, “ I can’t make that promise.”

He doesn’t say anything. He gently cradles you in his arms and lifts you up. You don’t think to where he is going. You just close your eyes and grab onto his shirt firmly not wanting to let go.

Soon enough you feel the cold sheets over your bed. He covers you in the duvet and leans down to your forehead. A kiss. Your fist is still locked onto his shirt in which he tries to pry it away but you don’t want to let him go. He sighs and raises his arms up as he takes off the shirt revealing an extra plain white wife beater under it. Taking your other hand, he wraps your hand into another fist onto the shirt to where both of your hands are holding onto it.

‘‘ Please better yourself for me baby. Sleep and eat well. “

Is all he says before turning off the lights and walking out your bedroom door. You can hear him putting on and zipping up his heavy coat but you just don’t make a sound.

The apartment door clicks and beeps letting you know he’s already gone.

337 notes · View notes

justcourttee · 3 years ago

Note

Adrien asks mari out and she says i would of been so happy in the past but now its too little to late. She's engaged to Damian but they haven't announced it yet

Bittersweet

It had been a while since Adrien had found himself in Gotham City. Too many years to count on his hand. Yet when he received an invite from Marinette he didn’t hesitate to hop on the next flight to attend her gala.

He had no idea that she had created a partnership with Wayne Enterprises, in fact, he had no idea they were interested in the fashion world at all. Then again, why should he be surprised? When Marinette put her mind to something, nothing would get in her way.

Ever since he had taken over his father’s company, Adrien hadn’t had much time to keep up with his old school friends but it hadn’t stopped them from trying to keep him in the loop. From what he could gather, Alya and Nino would also be attending, Rose and Juleka too. It would be nice to see them all again, especially Marinette.

Stepping out from the warmth of his hotel room and into the cool streets, Adrien couldn’t help but let his mind drift to thoughts of her.

It took Marinette moving to the States for him to realize how much he was in love with her. It was something he never wanted to admit seeing how much he adored Ladybug, but as she disappeared from his grasps, he was left to face his true feelings.

Glancing at his phone, Adrien confirmed that he was mere minutes away from the address she had listed. The gala was still a few days away, but Marinette asked if he had wanted to meet up for a late-night coffee, a Gotham specialty. Even her scarf that she had gifted him ages ago couldn’t hide the red on his cheeks as he imagined the perfect date with the girl of his dreams.

He paused, reaching the door of Deja Brew, his heart beating a million miles a minute. Somewhere in this late-night shop was his best friend. How would she react to seeing him again? Would she be as excited as he was? Would she feel the same way as she did?

Taking a deep breath, he pushed through the door, his eyes glancing through the scattered exhausted customers until they landed on her. She still hadn’t noticed his presence, her nose buried into her sketchbook, her coffee still steaming beside her seemingly untouched.

She was early.

The thought almost drew a laugh as he approached the counter to place his order. Of course she would have finally picked up some time management skills by now. Marinette was 27 and slowly making a name for herself as the future of the fashion industry. That wasn’t something accomplished by constant tardiness.

He picked up his cup, placing a ten into the tip jar, the hostess’ raised eyebrows making him smile. He could already hear his father scolding him. After all, that wasn’t the way to becoming a billionaire. You only make money by holding onto it.

Honestly, Adrien didn’t understand why he had to be a billionaire. His father said it would raise the bar for their line, but it just wasn’t in Adrien’s heart to hoard all of the money unnecessarily. Maybe the Waynes offered Marinette the same advice. Maybe they had something they could relate to together.

“Excuse me ma’am, is this seat taken?”

His heart had finally slowed down but as her eyes slowly peeked up at him under her lashes, it immediately began somersaulting once more.

“Oh Gods, Adrien!” She was out of her seat before he even had the chance to set down his coffee, her arms flung around his neck. He hoped and prayed she couldn’t feel his chest threatening to explode. “You should have said something! I’ve gotten into the bad habit of zoning out in public places.”

Her smile was blinding as she unwound herself, slipping back into her seat, motioning for him to sit as well.

“How was the flight? Did you fly private or first class?”

Adrien gasped, his hand covering his chest as if she had shot him.

“I only flew business thank you very much.” Marinette’s look of mock disbelief earned a small chuckle.

“That must have been so hard for you. I really am sorry you went through so much trouble for my sake.”

“You know, I would go through so much more for you Marinette.”

Her smile faltered for a moment, so quick that if he hadn’t been staring so hard at her, he might have missed it. Did his statement make her uncomfortable? He had only meant it jokingly with the truth laced in, but he was sure his eyes gave him away. They always softened when it came to her.

Marinette cleared her voice, her true smile shining once more as if the falter never happened in the first place.

“You’ve missed so much, I don’t even know where to start.”

“How about from the beginning?” She nodded as she dove into her move to the States and how she began as an intern for the CEO, Tim Drake, years ago and slowly worked her way up to personal assistant.

She recounted how Tim found her sketchbook at work one day and showed it to his father. Together they agreed that she was their way into the fashion industry, an investment that could open the door to many more jobs for the Gotham citizens.

It took two years, but she finally had a full line that was presented at Bruce’s first fashion show.

“So many big names were there Adrien! I really thought I was gonna faint!”

His smile became softer and softer as she recounted meeting the rest of the Waynes and finally after six long years, she had made enough of a name for herself to be holding her own official Gala, the Wayne’s simply a sponsor.

“That’s amazing Marinette, you’re amazing.”

She beamed proudly, her smile pulling at his heart.

“I couldn’t have done it without them. They are genuine and kind people and they are pretty much family.” Something glistened in her eyes as she spoke of them. It could have been obvious to anyone, Marinette cared so deeply for these people.

It was Adrien’s turn to falter as an ugly thought passed.

She’s so comfortable here, she would never want to come back to Paris with me.

He was shocked with himself. This was no time for jealousy. His best friend, the love of his life, was excitedly telling him about a future she had built for herself and the only thing he could think was that it was an obstacle keeping her from him?

Adrien desperately wanted to smack his own forehead, but for Marinette’s sake he straightened out his smile instead.

“I’m so sorry. I’ve only been talking about myself! What’s new with you? How’s your dad’s business? Do you have anyone you’re seeing?”

His eyebrow raised at the last question. She asked the question he so desperately wanted to ask her. And she did it so casually, equating it to his work and social life. Did that mean she was also fishing for his response?

“Nothing much. Dad wants to move from a multi-million dollar business to a multi-billion dollar business so he’s been pretty aggressive about money lately. He didn’t even want me flying over here for the gala.”

Marinette snorted much to his amusement. She knew how his dad was and how petty he could be as well.

“And as for your last question,” he paused watching her face carefully. “No, I am not seeing anyone.”

He waited for the reaction, any reaction really. But none came. Instead, she simply nodded as if she expected as much. Maybe he had read into it too much. She really could’ve just been asking for the sake of catching up. Should he ask too? Was that what she was leading up to?

Adrien cleared his throat before taking a long draw from his cup. This was so nerve wracking. She looked so content, so grown. This was a Marinette who had grown leaps and bounds while he was still stuck in this high school romance that was quite possibly one-sided.

“Well, I hate to cut it short but it’s going to be a long day tomorrow and Damian will be here any moment to pick me up.”

She slid out of her seat so effortlessly, her sketch book snapping shut before it disappeared into a bag that he hadn’t even noticed. Her smile was just as warm as he remembered, but something was missing from the girl he loved.

“Your eyes.” The words slipped out of his mouth before he could stop himself. Marinette’s smile faltered as she tentatively reached up to touch her eyelid, confusion etching it’s way into her face.

“Is there something near my eyes Adrien?”

“No, no, I’m sorry. That’s not what I meant. I just-” Adrien bit his lip, trying to string his thoughts together before he sounded even more like an idiot. “You used to stare at me with such soft look. I’m sorry I never noticed, but once I did, it was all I could see. Yet now-”

He trailed off as her lips drew into an o, her hand moving slowly from her eye to her lips, trying to hide her shock.

“-now, I can still feel the love in them, love directed at me, but it’s not the same love is it?”

She looked like she wanted to say something, but she couldn't find the right words. He knew she was trying to explain that he was wrong, but couldn’t bring herself to lie. It was the only confirmation he needed.

He slid out of the booth, his hand grasping the scarf slipping from his neck.

“Marinette, I was so excited when you invited me out tonight. In fact, I thought of it as a date.” She tried to reach out, but Adrien took a step back, tears brimming in his eyes. “I don’t blame you at all, please don’t think I’m saying all this to make you feel guilty. I just had to get it off my chest.”

Adrien blinked hard, trying to spill the tears clouding his vision. This was harder to say than he thought. Her eyes were so distracting, the sympathy oozing toward him in waves.

“I love you, Marinette Dupain-Cheng. I know you’ve made your life here and I would never dream of taking that from you. Hell, if you asked me to, I would drop everything to be at your side in an instance. Is there any chance at all that after the gala ends, we could give this a shot? Just one real date. Not some deluded fantasy I created in my head, but something we both consent to.”

He flinched when her hand finally made contact with his upper arm.

“Adrien, I love you. I really do. But you were right when you said my eyes had changed. That soft look is meant for someone else now. He and I had tried to keep our relationship quiet, but tomorrow at the gala, I was going to announce my engagement to Damian.”

Adrien couldn’t help the small sob that left his mouth. He was painfully aware of the few scattered glances all directed toward him, but he couldn’t help it. He felt Marinette pulling his head down until it laid resting on her shoulder, her small arms wrapping around his figure. It was embarrassing how hard he cried, unable to hold back his sobs any longer.

“I’m so sorry Adrien, I had no idea your feelings had changed. You were always chasing after a dream when we were younger and when I left Paris, I had finally decided that there wasn’t a chance after all between us.”

He knew she meant her words as a comfort, a promise that at one point, she would have gladly accepted his offer. Why couldn’t he have seen it earlier? Why was he so blinded by a partner who never even revealed herself right to the end? He had someone who trusted and loved him with all of their being and he ignored their feelings for a what if.

Adrien slowly pulled himself from her grasp, his smile shaky. He took a moment to use the end of his scarf to dry his soaked face.

“I’m glad you told me that Marinette. I really am. And I hope you and Damian have a long and prosperous life together.”

Her eyes widened, her mouth forming the wait, but he was already out of the door, running. It was a cowards move, one he would mull over all night. But it was too painful to look into the eyes of one you love and only find pity reflecting in them.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

“So you came?”

Adrien turned, his smile bittersweet as he embraced Alya, his fist connecting with Nino’s outstretched hand.

“How could I not support her? She’s worked so hard to make this a reality. My feelings can take a backburner for one night.”Their eyes all trailed to the center of the room where she stood, her arm threaded through with the man he assumed to be Damian Wayne. “Besides, you can tell. She loves that man beside her more than anything in this world.”

The glint of the ring on her finger caused an aching in his heart. Despite it all, he really did wish the Wayne boy no ill will. If he was who Marinette chose to spend the rest of her life with, then Adrien trusted her decision.

“I’ve never seen her smile so bright. And to think, I used to believe her smile was at its maximum blindlingness.” Nino’s chuckle earned a small chuckle from Adrien as well.

There was no denying it.

Marinette was where she belonged. The only thing left was for him to support her in any way that he could. And that was exactly what he planned to do.

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sparklysung · 4 years ago

Text

✨ADRENALINE RUSH PART II – n.j.m.✨

pairing – na jaemin x female!reader

genre – fluff, smut, angst | non-idol!au, school!au

warnings – good boy!soft dom!jaemin, bad girl!reader, heartbreak, penetration, unprotected sex (wrap your willies), creampie, dirty talk, pet names

word count – 4.731 words

summary – after leaving jaemin alone in the school’s library, there wasn’t only one heart broken.

note – it’s finally here! i hope it isn’t too bad, though, i don’t think i’m too good at writing stuff like this lmao. either way, enjoy! also, the gif isn’t mine, i found it on google, so credit to its owner!

taglist – @junguwuuu , @prvncejxon, @iwishihadabettername, @carelessshootanonymous

part i ; part ii

the next few days after you left jaemin all alone in the school’s library, you couldn’t help but feel bad for him.

you weren’t supposed to feel guilty, after all, that’s what you usually did; hookup with guys you found attractive and then never reach out for them again, pretending to not know them. and you have never had a problem with it before, you never got attached and they were aware of your reputation, so they knew what they were getting into.

but for some reason, jaemin was… different.

you weren’t really sure why, but something about him just made you feel things, things you have never felt with anyone else. you have never felt so good with any of the guys you had hooked up with. and by that, you didn’t only mean how good his touch felt on you, but also the sweet way he reacted to your loving pet names and caresses.

your heartless attitude only earned you what you had never thought you, a self-proclaimed cold-hearted bad girl would ever experience.

heartbreak.

now, jaemin tried everything to avoid you. he got out of his way so you wouldn’t bump into each other, leaving class as fast as humanly possible just so you wouldn’t be able to approach him. though he doubted you would ever get near him again, so he was actually doing you a favour, right?

after all, why else would you have left the way you did after your little rendezvous?

every time you happened to be in a room he had just stepped into, he turned around and left without giving you a second glance, face expressionless. but even when he tried to act tough in front of everyone else, you could see the pain in his eyes and it was slowly killing you.

truth is, you felt like a complete jerk.

scratch that, you knew you were.

but how could you comprehend the effect your actions had on jaemin if you didn’t even care?

as he had realized when you decided to walk away from him that awful day in the library, he meant nothing to you. and even though it hurt him to no end, that’s how life is.

cruel.

his friends knew something had happened to him. they could see how the usual spark in jaemin’s eyes was completely gone after you two got together to work on your genetics project. he usually kept to himself, which wasn’t really out of the ordinary coming from him, but lately he barely talked, only answering with monosyllables. he stopped taking part in their conversations, not even intervening when renjun and donghyuck’s bickering got out of hand.

“hey, nana, are you coming to chenle’s place later today? we’ll probably stay over and play games in his huge ass tv.” jeno’s cheerful voice made jaemin look up from his untouched lunch. he just nodded slightly before looking back down to his food.

he didn’t feel like talking or hanging out with anyone, but noticing the worried expression that had replaced jeno’s usual bright smile, he tried to put on his best smile. “sure,” he tried to reassure him. jeno didn’t seem so convinced, though he didn’t say anything about it.

his friends also noticed how he seemed to disappear whenever you were nearby, which confirmed their suspicions of something happening between you two. he usually took his time to get ready for his next class and was fairly organized, but from that day on, he didn’t even try, throwing all his belongings inside his back before rushing out of the door.

they were determined to find out what had happened with you to make jaemin stop being his usual self. the only problem was, how were they going to get it out of him?

~.~.~.~

“hyuck, go open the door, it must be jaemin.” jaemin could hear renjun’s voice yell from somewhere inside the house.

“ugh, you’re so annoying,” donghyuck rolled his eyes as he opened the door before going back upstairs to what he assumed was chenle’s room.

“dang, not even a hello,” shaking his head in disapproval, jaemin made his way inside, closing the door after himself.

noise –or more like screams– could be heard coming from upstairs as his friends were most likely already playing some game. he walked towards the kitchen where he found renjun and jeno preparing sandwiches and other snacks for all of them. when they saw jaemin walking in, they stopped what they were doing to look at him.

“hey, you came,” renjun smiled, happy to see his friend coming out of his newfound shell. just like the other guys, he was concerned about his sudden change of demeanor. he honestly missed his presence and dumb comments. not that he would ever tell him, though.

“can you help us with the drinks please?” jeno asked, hands full of snacks.

jaemin just nodded his head before taking six cups to fill with any drink he could find in chenle’s fridge. after they had emptied half of the cabinets, the three boys made their way to his friend’s bedroom in silence.

none of them knew what to say, or more like how to say it. renjun and jeno were dying to ask jaemin what was going on, why did he decide to stop hanging out as much with them, if they were right about you being involved in whatever happened. and jaemin could tell. he wasn’t blind to not notice the weird looks they constantly threw at each other, the way they quieted down every time he approached them. but he didn’t want to admit the mistake he had made. he couldn’t look them in the face after spoiling all their efforts to prevent this very situation from happening.

what would they think of him?

he was supposed to be the cautious one of them all, the one who wouldn’t get fooled so easily, the responsible one. but even if he knew for a fact you didn’t have good intentions, he still let himself fall and ended up hurt. how could he take care of his friends if he couldn’t even take care of himself.

“what took you so long?” jisung asked once they made it to their destination, snatching a few bags of chips from renjun’s arms.

“next time you’ll go get food, then,” the older boy clicked his tongue in annoyance, going to sit next to chenle on the bed.

nobody was surprised when jaemin sat by himself in a corner of the room, quietly staring at the floor. he didn’t even try to take part in their conversations, just nodding from time to time to assure them he was still listening. no one knew how to approach the situation, so chenle, tired of the weird ambiance the group of boys had been engulfed in for some time now, decided to take the initiative.

“what’s going on, jaemin? why can’t you tell us?” jaemin felt cold, mouth ajar in shock. he wasn’t expecting the topic to be brought up so soon and neither chenle to be the first one to confront him about it. “don’t even try to deny something’s up, we’re not dumb.”

“we want to help you, but we can’t do anything if you don’t trust us enough to tell us.”

and in that moment, jaemin finally broke.

“i fucked up,” his voice cracked, tears welling in his eyes, making his vision blurry.

“what? what do you mean?” donghyuck intervened. he wasn’t one to usually show concern but seeing his friend so distressed made his heart hurt.

“i hooked up with y/n that day we were supposed to work on our project.”

“we t-.”

“i know, alright! i know it was a mistake and i shouldn’t have let it happen, but now i don’t know what to do,” jaemin thought that venting to someone else about what happened would maybe make him feel better, but it didn’t, if something it actually made him feel worse. he was sure his friends though he was the biggest idiot in the whole world.

“shh, it’s okay, come here,” jeno opened his arms for jaemin, so the broken boy hugged him tightly, hiding the pained expression on his face in the elder’s shoulder.

“i don’t get it, how did this all happen?” a confused jisung asked, not understanding how the hell a simple project in pairs ended up in a hookup.

“i told her to meet me at the library so we wouldn’t be alone. i thought nothing could happen because there would be a lot of people around us, but things didn’t work out the way i thought they would,” and as jaemin told them the whole story, they couldn’t help but pity their friend.

“i thought maybe this time it would be different, you know? she talked to me as if she cared about me,” the dry chuckle he let out made the boys feel uneasy, “and i believed it.”

none of them doubted jaemin had at least a crush on you. yeah, sure, what you did was certainly not nice, but you weren’t together in any way. And that’s how hookups work, right? you fuck and then you leave. no feelings attached.

right?

“so you like her?” renjun asked, although it sounded more like a statement.

“i think i do.”

~.~.~.~

as much anxiety the thought of having to face you again sparked in jaemin, you both still needed to finish the project and you only had two days left. even if he didn’t feel ready to talk to you yet –though he doubted he would ever be–, he had to man up for the sake of his grades.

seeing as his strategy of working on it in a crowded place didn’t work, there wasn’t another option but to section the project and get it done each on its own.

so that’s what he intended when he waited for you in your locker, practicing his next move over and over again. the only thought in his head was getting out of the situation as soon as he could to avoid any kind of unnecessary interaction.

he was scared of his heart controlling his body and his actions rather than his head, as it would inevitably end in him falling for you once again and only more pain. it would be the perfect formula for yet another heartbreak.

and you were completely shocked when you saw him standing next to your locker, apparently waiting for you.

“you can finish the first half, i’ll do what’s left,” his eyes stayed trained on the floor as he spoke. he didn’t want to give you the satisfaction of seeing him so affected, so as soon as the words left his mouth, he was on his way, trying to flee the scene before you could react.

“jaemin, wait!” he stopped dead in his tracks, not bothering to turn around and look at you. “look, i-i’m really sor-.”

but he didn’t stay to hear the end of it.

he walked away just like you had done not even a week ago.

feeling a lump in your throat that made it harder for you to breathe, your heart shattered into tiny pieces you didn’t care to pick up as you stood frozen in place.

but yours wasn’t the only heart broken.

jaemin walked home with a heavy heart, eyes stinging from tears that threatened to run down his cheeks. his friends had warned him and yet there he was, sulking over you.

he felt like a fool. how could he have fallen into your trap? he knew the type of girl you were; a heartbreaker, a player, the bad girl. but either way, his heart betrayed him, pumping furiously whenever you smiled at him, whenever you got close enough for him to inhale your sweet perfume and feel your minty breath fan over his face.

anger boiled in his veins, why did you have to play with him like that? what did he ever do wrong to deserve it? he had never bothered you, always staying in his lane and out of your way. he didn’t like confrontations so he stayed away from them, and being near you always included some kind of trouble.

but what hurt him the most was that he actually believed your sweet words, soft touches and loving kisses meant something. that he was stupid enough to think they meant the same to you as to him.

as you watched his figure disappear in the distance, you realized you had fucked up big time and you weren’t sure there was any way you could fix it.

~.~.~.~

the very next day you found yourself walking as fast as your legs allowed you around the campus to find jaemin. you probably looked like you had gone crazy to everyone you walked past, hair messy and tired face. you pulled an all-nighter the night before, determined to finish your part of the project. you really weren’t that interested in your grade. actually, your only motivation was finding an excuse to talk to him.

half an hour later, you still hadn’t been able to find jaemin. you were utterly and completely frustrated, it felt like you had just wasted your time. but just as you were about to give up on your search, you found him.

he was walking down the hallway towards the opposite direction and away from you. you could only see the back of his head, but you could tell he wasn’t looking ahead but at the floor, like he had been doing ever since that day. your feet started moving on their own, directing you to him.

“jaemin, please, listen to me,” your fingers wrapped themselves around his wrist in an attempt to make him stay. he didn’t want to turn around, he didn’t want to see you or be anywhere near you.

the memory of you leaving the library after using him for your own pleasure hunted him. it may sound dramatic, but jaemin was tired of the pain you brought him. he hated the way your voice still made him feel all giddy and warm inside, he wanted to forget you for good and go on with his life as it was before.

“why should i?”

“because i want to apologize, just hear me out for a second,” you pleaded, not being able to find one good reason for him to stay.

“why would you even be sorry, anyway? you’ve never cared about others, why now and why me?” a bitter, full of hurt chuckle left his lips, eyes rolling in irony. his words felt like a punch to the stomach, the cold tone of his voice making your heart crack.

he was right, you had never cared about anyone else but yourself.

the cold-hearted behaviour jaemin witnessed in that library was what got you your infamous reputation at school; you did whatever you needed to do without looking back to see how it affected others.

that’s why it hurt so much now that you also cared about him.

“because you’re different,” you whispered, eyes closed in distress and white knuckles from how hard you were clenching your fists.

“w-what do you mean? stop playing around, i’m tired of getting hurt.”

“jaemin,” your expression softened, voice coming out in a sigh and helping him relax a little. “i’m not playing with you,” you took a deep breath before proceeding to spill your guts.

“i know i made a huge mistake acting the way i did, and when i say i’m sorry i really, truly mean it. i’m aware that the wound has already been done, but it makes my heart feel heavy to see you avoiding me. it’s selfish, i know, but i don’t want you to be away from me. i-i’m not sure what these feelings are or where they came from, the only thing i know is that i don’t want them to go away.”

what in the world was happening?

“i think i like you, na jaemin.”

“you like… m-me?” confusion was written all over his face, he couldn’t tell if you were being honest or not.

“yes, i like you, and if you’d give me a second opportunity i promise i’d make it worth it.”

and as much pain you had been causing him for the last few days, he couldn’t contain the butterflies that erupted in the pit of his stomach when he saw the sincerity your eyes held.

his body moved without him realizing, walking towards you until he could smell your sweet scent. you didn’t back down, staying still with eyes locked in his even when you were sure he could hear the crazy beating of your heart. you hoped he believed you, but even if he didn’t, you were determined to prove it to him, regardless of the price.

a surprised gasp fell from your lips when he leaned in with eyes closed, lips locking in a mind-blowing kiss. he tasted the same as last time, but the moment felt different. this kiss was less rushed, filled with strong feelings that you hoped were reciprocated.

had he accepted your apology and was willing to take you back after all you had done?

“does this mea-,” you broke away from the kiss to ask, but he cut you off quickly before going back to attack your mouth.

“i like you too,” your heart felt like it was about to explode, something you had never felt before.

your arms snaked around his neck as his hands positioned themselves on the small of your back, both trying to bring the other closer. your fingers went to his soft, fluffy hair to tug on it and jaemin groaned into your mouth.

for a moment, both of you forgot you were still in school’s grounds and anyone walking to their locker or next class could find you, but at that moment, nothing mattered.

his body felt like it was on fire, the burn almost addictive as he unconsciously pressed his hips into yours, letting you feel his growing boner. he was so into the kiss he didn’t notice at first how his body was reacting to your closeness, your scent filling his senses and plump lips moving against his. but when you responded with a roll of your hips, he gasped in surprise.

“come on, baby,” his heart pumped harder as you intertwined your fingers with his and dragged him to the teacher’s bathroom. after making sure no one was nearby, you got in and locked yourselves inside. you didn’t waste any time smashing your lips together, the kiss eventually turning rougher and full of lust.

when jaemin’s back touched the wall, he broke away from the kiss to regain his breath.

he wasn’t a resentful person, but he was determined to give you a taste of your own medicine. you were going to regret what you had done.

oh, sweet revenge.

the tables turned as he pushed you against the wall, pressing his body flush into yours. a surprised moan left your lips, hands going to his chest in a failed attempt of pushing him away and re-establishing your dominance.

“no, it’s my turn,” the new found confidence that was taking over his body made jaemin feel great. you were wordless because of the sudden change of attitude so he took the opportunity to pin both of your wrists above your head with only one of his hands and with the other, he grabbed your thigh and lifted it, holding it to his hip. with a roll of his hips, his hard cock grinded against your clothed core in such a way your legs almost buckled.

“look at you now, where did the mean girl attitude go?”

you could only moan, already feeling your damp panties stick to your folds uncomfortably, and he smirked at your lack of response. you wanted nothing more than for him to fuck you and now knew how desperate jaemin must have felt that day at the library with all your teasing.

“what do you want? tell me baby,” when you tried to free yourself from his grip, he tsked, only tightening it more. “i’m not letting you go, so stop being a brat. i asked you a question, tell me what you want.”

jaemin was enjoying every single second of having you so under his control. you had pegged him as someone who liked being dominated, but apparently you were wrong. by the looks of it, he was having the time of his life, not even caring about how long it's been since everything started, engraving in his brain every sound you made and the way your face contorted in pleasure when he pressed himself against you. he didn’t care about his reputation anymore either, after ruining you just the way you had done with him he would have had enough to make it worth it.

“i want to see you,” your hands twitched in his grip, fingers wanting nothing more than to tug on his shirt and undress him. last time you didn’t get to see him due to being in a public space, but now, locked inside the teacher’s bathroom, you could finally see him in his full glory. jaemin would normally feel shy about showing his body to someone else, especially a girl, but he couldn’t let his whole confident facade fall down, so he set you free, “unbutton it then, babygirl.”

you worked on unbuttoning his shirt as fast as you could and pussy clenched around nothing when you saw his toned abdomen and chest. he was stunning. your hands trailed down his body, caressing the soft skin, drinking in all the little details. in return, jaemin lifted yours above your chest to have easy access to your breasts. the hand that was previously holding you still now came to knead your soft boobs, groaning at the way your hips bucked against his cock.

“fuck me,” you managed to let out in a whimper.

“uhm, is that what you want?” you shook your head ‘yes’ as soon as the question came out of his mouth, eager to feel him inside once again. “then beg for it.”

you weren’t used to being the one to beg and as much as you hated following orders, you were willing to swallow your dignity if it meant he was going to touch you just how you needed.

“please, jaemin,” he shook his head, not satisfied by your response, “i’m so wet and it’s all just for you, i need you to fuck me, please” you felt your face heat up in embarrassment but you opted to ignore it. he hummed, letting go of your leg for a moment to slide your panties off your body and pull down his pants before gripping your thigh once again.

“your wish is my command,” you giggled at his cute antics, but the laughter soon got stuck in your throat when he slid his cock inside you. your eyes closed, head falling to the crook of his neck and hands gripping his biceps to hold yourself up, as jaemin groaned. you felt as tight as he could remember, but he still couldn’t get used to it. his legs trembled slightly as your walls squeezed around him, “f-fuck, still so tight.”

“move, please,” the stretch felt nice, but you needed more. and so he did as he was told, starting to slowly buck his hips into you before eventually building up a steady pace.

you felt so full with him snuggled deep inside of you, reaching places you didn’t know he could with the new position. his hips angled so he could hit your g-spot with every thrust, loud moans leaving your lips.

“if you keep being loud we’ll get caught baby,” his teeth nibbled on the skin of your neck, mouth sucking softly as to not leave marks, “or maybe that’s what you want? for someone to catch us fucking in school property?” your moans got louder so jaemin put his hand over your lips to shush you.

“uhm, that’d make so much more sense as to why you suddenly decided to risk my reputation and fuck me in the library where anybody could have seen us just with a turn of their heads.” his words came out so bluntly your eyes widened, body convulsing against his and high getting closer.

“f-faster, please, fuck me faster,” he obliged, lifting your skirt so it hung just above your waist to uncover your lower half. his hips snapped rougher than before as his thumb played with your sensitive clit, pressing harshly and circling furiously on it.

“oh my god, jaemin!” your eyes rolled to the back of your head, mouth falling open as muffled moans fell from your lips. jaemin’s pace got sloppy as your walls clamped down on him. he was finding it hard to move, both from the strong grip of your pussy and his nearing orgasm.

“that’s it, baby, come for me,” and with a particular flick of his fingers you were cumming hard, juices running down the inside of your thighs. jaemin fucked you through your orgasm and followed soon after, thick cum filling you up nicely. heavy pants could be heard all over the room, fogging the bathroom’s mirror.

after your breathing had evened, he pulled out and dropped your leg to let you stand up comfortably. neither of you made an effort to move away from the other, eyes staying locked in the other’s, sharing a last kiss before fixing your clothes as best as you could in the shortest period of time you could manage. you were most likely already running late for class so you didn’t have time to lose.

noticing the only piece of clothing you were missing were your panties, you started searching everywhere for it. you couldn’t get caught or else you would be in big trouble. two teenagers spending a considerable amount of time locked together in the teacher’s bathroom without the supervision of any adult wouldn’t look good to anyone.

at some point you began panicking, you couldn’t just leave your underwear in there, somebody was going to find it and you both would be fucked. for real this time.

“jaemin, have you seen my pant-.”

“your what?” you hadn’t noticed the big ass smirk jaemin was carrying as he looked at you, enjoying your misery. “my panties,” but that wasn’t the only thing you noticed, you could see the pink cloth hanging from his finger.

“give them back,” you pouted cutely, making jaemin smile teasingly. “nope, now they’re mine,” he shoved the piece of clothing inside his pocket and left you to deal with his cum dripping down your legs by yourself.

“but it’s leaking, i can’t go out like this.”

you probably sounded like a whiny child throwing a tantrum, but you really needed your underwear back or else you wouldn’t be able to keep it all in.

“you can and you will, sweetie,” jaemin smirked, taking your hand in his before opening the bathroom door to leave. you didn’t want to leave like that, so you leaned your whole weight back so he wouldn’t be able to pull you with him, but he managed. with a hard tug on your hand, he forced you out of the room and into his back.

just as you were mumbling about how strong he was, a voice made you both freeze in your spots.

“did you guys just leave the teacher’s bathroom? what the heck?” donghyuck gasped, mouth agape in shock. he couldn’t believe what his eyes were seeing; na jaemin and y/l y/n, school’s good boy and bad girl, walking out of the teacher’s bathroom hand in hand. jaemin’s eyes opened wide in panic. someone –or more like the worst person who could have found you– caught you in a very compromising situation. the erratic beating of his heart made his body feel numb, cheeks flushing a deep tone of red.

he noticed jaemin’s messy hair, blushing cheeks and not properly buttoned shirt as well as your untucked one and skirt way too high up your legs that revealed a fair portion of your thighs.

and then it clicked.

donghyuck’s own eyes shot open as he connected the dots.

“oh my fucking god, you fucked in there.”

–lia:)

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itsclydebitches · 3 years ago

Note

I kinda wonder, what could bakugou do (hori write bakugou to do) to make him less popular with the "anti" crowd. Like He was a horrid child no doubt and people who try to put blame on Deku or lessen the terrible shit bakugou did aren't great. But as we don't rly see it, we have to assume bakugous behaviour wasn't stopped, we only ever saw his mum "punishing" him when he was being rude after getting kiddnapped. Nothing will excuse what bakugou did, but he has stopped? He's overall a harsh person but he's not harrassing and bullying people anymore, specifically not deku, he's trying to attone for what he did to deku and has now apologised for it. His behaviour was never viewed as justified or good in the series, he's a scary figure in middle school, we're not meant to like his behaviour, so the series itself hasn't justified his actions.

As someone who relate to both bakugou and deku more than I'd like to admit (never told someone to jump tho, that's fucked lol) so I can 100% understand not liking or even hating bakugou but as someone who's not 15 anymore, looking back I also made a lot of really shitty decisions and like bakugou have tried to make up for it, and like deku I was 'friends' with people who hurt me.

Is there anything he can do for the "antis" to just dislike him rather that be "anti"?

(I'm very sorry if you've talked about this somewhere, you can just tell me to look for it if you have, I'll continue to look for your posts on the subject)

Hey there, anon! I think I’ve spoken about this only tangentially and/or in my main Bakugo meta, which is too big for anyone sane to read. So yeah, let’s chat here!

For me personally—and that’s all I can ever do: speak personally. I think it’s important to keep in mind that there is no single solution to please the “anti” crowd. Each fan will be looking for something slightly different in Bakugo’s character, much of which might contradict what a “stan” is currently enjoying. Given how charged a character he is, I'm not sure it's possible to get the entire fandom to like him—what I’m looking for hinges on having a different reading of the story than you seem to. Meaning, I think the series does justify his behavior. Not in any overt, super obvious way like having all the characters go, “Wow, Bakugo! I sure do love how you threaten people all the time. That’s super cool and heroic!” Things are rarely that straightforward. Rather, it’s in a more subtle, but consistent manner that paints a rather conclusive picture across hundreds of chapters.

Simply put, Bakugo is continually rewarded for his actions. Or, if not outright rewarded, his actions are ignored in a way that implies silent acceptance. Characters may not always like what he does... but they're willing to let it slide because Bakugo's heroism was always treated as a given, not something he had to earn and prove.

With the ever necessary disclaimer that I’m not fully caught up yet, here’s a list of some of the things that stood out to me in the first half of the series:

Bakugo’s bullying made him the most popular kid in school.

Bakugo’s bullying was ignored by/outright supported by the teachers.

Bakugo’s bullying did not hinder him from getting into U.A., one of the most prestigious hero schools around.

Despite acting horribly throughout his time at U.A. too, this behavior was continually ignored by the teachers and other authority figures around him.

Bakugo’s struggle to realize that other people aren’t “trash” doesn’t hurt his achievements in any way. He still gets top scores, still wins the tournament, etc.

Bakugo’s behavior gets him special attention from All Might, the greatest hero and Bakugo’s personal idol.

His behavior doesn’t make others dislike him in any manner that’s taken seriously. Everybody is still willing to not just put up with Bakugo, but—in time—start treating his behavior as a quirk (no pun intended lol) that they’re secretly fond of, rather than something he should legitimately be striving to change. Kirishima is the most overt example of this.

This is compounded by his behavior constantly being framed as humorous. Much like with Mineta’s perverted actions, characters might superficially go, “No, that’s bad!” but the story never demands any significant development because then we’d lose the “joke” of Bakugo screaming in rage at the slightest inconvenience, threatening to murder someone over nothing, constantly belittling everyone around him in a “funny” manner, etc. When fans talk about development of a manga character as archetypal and extreme as Bakugo, most don’t really want to see significant change to his base personality. Because then that would result in someone who doesn’t look like the “real” Bakugo: someone nicer, more even-tempered, more mature, etc. But for those of us who were never drawn to that personality in the first place, the continued acceptance of his rude, egotistical, and violent behavior is discomforting. The easiest comparison I can draw is between this and Bakugo’s mother slapping him. That slap is meant to be another “joke”—we see it constantly in shonen anime, something "humorous" you shouldn’t take too seriously because haha, it's just an overprotective mother—but many fans do take it seriously, using it as the basis for a whole “Bakugo was abused and this explains his behavior” reading. Well, I take the “joke” of Bakugo’s threats and insults seriously, especially in a story that starts with something like telling Izuku to jump off the roof. In the same way that many fans want others to treat Bakugo’s mother as a serious topic that has had a negative influence on his development, I want the series to take Bakugo’s everyday actions seriously as a negative influence on… well, everyone around him. But it doesn’t. His base personality is grudgingly adored.

The above two points are seen most overtly in Izuku, who never wavers in his respect for Bakugo despite how Bakugo treats him. Not just prior to U.A., but during their training too. Izuku, as the protagonist, is the emotional heart of this tale, so when he talks about how inspiring Bakugo is, it encourages the reader to see his behavior as inspiring too. Rather than, as said, something that needs to change. Izuku's continued friendship with Bakugo, his adoration of him, and his acceptance of the way he's treated has severely warped how the entire story sees Bakugo's actions. After all, if #pure Izuku can see the good in Bakugo, why can't everyone else? He must not be that bad after all.

I could get into detailed analyses of all the above—like how Bakugo was the one comforted after attacking Izuku outside the dorms at night and how the messed up relationship he has with Izuku is upheld as something to nurture; how the remedial courses he had to take were made to be rather silly, thereby undermining their supposed importance to his development; how Bakugo’s kidnapping had nothing to do with his flaws, but much of the fandom uses it as a way to dismiss any appropriate consequences because, “Hasn’t he suffered enough?” etc.—but in the interest of keeping this within a readable length, I’ll leave it at that. The point is that Bakugo has always been privileged when it comes to his behavior, resulting in others either outright praising it, ignoring it, or demanding that he change a miniscule bit, which always keeps him far below the standards of both his peers and the expectations of a hero. Everyone in 1-A must learn to be even better than the good people they already are... Bakugo needs to learn that other people aren't dirt at the bottom of his shoes. It's never been a particularly impressive development when pit against the rest of the class. All of which can make something like an apology feel pretty hollow. Yes, he’s apologized and I say with all seriousness that that’s great! But how does that apology stack up against 300+ chapters of content? As Bakugo’s words highlight, he's been a really awful person up "until now": he was consumed by Izuku being “miles ahead of [him],” he “looked down on [him]” because he didn’t have a quirk, he “didn’t want to recognize that,” he “hated that,” “grew distant,” “tried to beat you down,” “opposed you and tried to show my superiority over you,” and ends it all with, “it probably doesn’t mean anything telling you all this” before finally getting to the “I’m sorry.” This is basically a laundry list of how horrible a person Bakugo has been for the entire series, with an acknowledgement that this apology is coming really, really late. This is the moment where I could START to like Bakugo, depending on how he acts form here on out, but that pivotal moment arrived after six years of content and in the final arc of the story. It’s too late. Bakugo needed this kind of self-reflection and positive action 250+ chapters ago so he could (hopefully) grow into a better person across the story, not at the story's end. What we got instead is 322 chapters of him being a really horrible person, but the story going out of its way to excuse or even praise that behavior the majority of the time.

As a quick comparison to end on, I think what Bakugo needed was what Soo Jin got in True Beauty. You don’t need to have seen the drama to follow along. The tl;dr is that she has a lot of the core qualities of Bakugo: an all-consuming drive to win that was created due to abusive parents with high expectations, resulting in her bullying a peer to a pretty horrific extent. The difference between them is how the story frames their actions. When Soo Jin becomes the bully she loses everything. Rather than succeeding academically, her grades plummet, making it clear that this anxiety and self-doubt (things the fandom keeps insisting Bakugo is struggling with, but that rarely ever show up in the text) is actually impacting her day-to-day life. Her best friend drops her because she’s not going to support her choices. The boy she likes rejects her. She’s eventually forced to start over somewhere new - which importantly separates her from the girl she was bullying - and get some distance from her parents, resulting in the growth needed to become a healthier, happier, good person again. So when Soo Jin apologizes to the girl she hurt, it feels earned. The story continually recognized how horrific her actions were and put her into a place where she either had to change, or continue losing at everything else that was important to her. Bakugo? Bakugo doesn’t lose. Oh, he claims he does because he’s comparing himself to Izuku constantly, but that’s just him thinking in extremes. He still wins academically. Still wins many battles. Still wins at having friends. Still wins by maintaining the prestige of being a U.A. student. Still wins by getting All Might’s attention. Still wins by receiving Izuku’s respect and an agreement to maintain this rivalry that Bakugo is so obsessed with. Bakugo comes out well 99% of the time, he just thinks he's "lost" because he can't stand not being the absolute best.

For me, the story needed to have Bakugo face consequences for his behavior, not receive rewards and/or have others ignore it, and that revelation/apology needed to come way, way sooner. For me the issue is not a specific action that Horikoshi can have Bakugo do in the next chapter and them bam, I like him now. The problem is Bakugo’s entire concept, how he’s received by the entire cast, and his run across this entire series. "Entire" is the key word there. Which is why the “But he’s apologized. What more do you antis want?” reactions don’t sit well. What we wanted is a better written redemption arc across those 300+ chapters, not a single scene that’s meant to have us forget all the other problems inherent in the story. At this point it’s a far more complicated situation than, “Bakugo just needs to do X, Y, and Z and then we’re golden.” At the end of the day, Horikoshi failed to make me like him as a person and I’m pretty sure he isn’t going to change Bakugo enough to make him likable to me. Bakugo was never the sort of character I’d be inclined towards without a serious, nuanced redemption arc, but sadly, a core, crucial part of that redemption arc took six years to arrive. At this point there’s no way to change the problems in Bakugo’s writing for that huge chunk of the series and not enough time left in the series, it seems, to do the work we should have seen across the entire run. Honestly, idk if the Bakugo we'll get going forward is someone I can just dislike as opposed to being really uncomfortable with, but my money is on there being too little story left and too much investment in upholding Bakugo's base personality for that to happen. I could absolutely be proven wrong! But I think the problems are structural and needed to be better dealt with from page one, not hastily patched over in the final hour.

#BNHA #My Hero Academia #anti bakugo

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heyiwrotesomethings · 4 years ago

Text

Lepidopterophobia Prt. Two

Shinobu Kochou x She/Her Reader

A/N: People seemed to like that oneshot so I made a part two! Here is a link to part one if you want a refresher or something (Link). Word Count: ~11,329 (Again, holy shit. I do not know how I wrote so much. I blame the demon encounter that I forced myself to put in this fic and the totally unnecessary OC interaction lol) Hope you enjoy!

Shinobu was getting worried now. It may have been hiding behind sweet smiles and teasing words, but the worry was there nevertheless, churning deep within her like an undercurrent of a seemingly calm ocean cost.

She and (Y/n) had made it a habit to write each other at least once a week since they met about six months ago.

Such letters always made Shinobu feel extremely happy and giddy. Even the estate residents could determine when a letter came simply based on body language alone, although the melodic humming also helped on that front.

Giyuu had even witnessed the change first hand by chance one day and he admitted that it was the freakiest thing he had ever experienced. Especially when she walked past him and actually gave him a compliment before continuing to hum and glide down the hall. Giyuu did not know how to conduct himself in this Shinobu’s presence.

However this week was different, Mochi had not arrived, there was no letter. Shinobu quelled the initial disappointment and anxiety. Surely (Y/n) just had a tiring mission and fell asleep while drafting her message. It wouldn’t have been the first time after all. But when the second week was nearing its end, Shinobu was starting to crack.

She was admittedly a bit unfocused. Her honey sweet tone was still there, but her speech was sharp and clipped. She spent more time in her lab doing research well into the early hours of the morning, becoming more unkempt as another new dawn brought no news.

Aoi made sure Shinobu would eat. She also made it clear that the Hashira needed to be taking better care of herself in general as the young woman sulked her way into the infirmary.

“You’re worrying the younger girls because you look like you’ll collapse at any second and Kanao might not say it, but you’re worrying her too. You’re causing us all distress,” Aoi had told her, not pulling any punches. “(Y/n)-san would not be happy to see you like this.”

“Well, she isn’t here now, is she? She hasn’t been here since her first visit. Why should I care what makes her happy?” Shinobu’s seraphic voice laced with poison replied, an insincere smile painting her lips.

Aoi scoffed and rolled her eyes. “If only I knew, Shinobu-sama. I don’t quite understand you’re attraction to her myself. Maybe you should try writing her again.”

“I’ve already sent two letters. I’m not so desperate for attention to try for a third,” Shinobu responded rigidly. “My crow has always come back empty handed so I know someone is getting my messages. What more is there to do?”

“Didn’t she say in her last letter that demon attacks were becoming more frequent in her sector? Just give her some time. She isn’t that big of an idiot to ignore you on purpose.”

“I’m growing tired of this conversation, Aoi,” Shinobu sighed. “I’ll be going to the lab and I do not wish to be disturbed.”

“As you wish, Shinobu-sama. I’ll send someone over with your dinner later though, and you better eat it.” Aoi replied as Shinobu walked out.

Kanao came to stand by Aoi’s side and flipped her coin, heads. “I have not seen Shinobu-neesan seem so visibly upset in a long time.”

“Yes, she must really like (Y/n)-san a lot, huh?” Aoi frowned, making another bed.

Kanao flipped her coin again, but remained silent this time around.

“Well, that idiot better respond soon. I don’t know how much more of this I can take.”

***

Shinobu drowned herself in her research well into the night. Balancing equations, messing with beakers and microscopes and reading copious amounts of botany and organic chemistry texts. She was so absorbed in her work that she didn’t notice the faint tapping at the door that led out onto the engawa from her lab.

The tapping persisted almost frantically as Shinobu inked down some notes until a loud squawking caused her hand to jerk across the parchment and ruin her page. She almost didn’t care though, she leapt from her chair and slid the door open with enough speed for it to clack against the stopper hard enough to echo across the garden.

She beckoned the familiar raven to take perch on her arm, cooing and lightly stroking the feathered breast of the large bird with a sincere smile and hopeful eyes.

“Good evening Mochi,” she cooed softly. “What have you and (Y/n) been up to these past few weeks?”

“(Y/n), (Y/n)!” The bird mimicked, enjoying the head scritches Shinobu was supplying him. He held a leg out toward Shinobu and she deftly untied the parchment from his leg.

“Thank you for this, rest here for awhile. I’m sure my crow wouldn’t mind sharing some snacks with you.”

Mochi cawed excitedly, flapping his way into the corner with Shinobu’s crow who seemed a bit miffed by the disturbance, but ultimately did not mind the presence of the larger bird she had come to know over the last few months.

Shinobu sat back in her writing desk and unfurled the parchment with a slight tremor running through her hands. As she began to read through the letter, concern laced through her features. (Y/n)’s tone was there. The words came off like hers, but the handwriting was unfamiliar, completely off. Each character was shaky, and stray ink splattered the parchment throughout the letter. There was no way (Y/n) actually wrote this.

The suspicious letter contained an apology for tardiness that was spun in a way that made it rather humorous and light without downplaying the seriousness of the apology, a skill Shinobu only knew (Y/n) to have mastered so well. The message continued on to talk about the high number of demons still running rampant in the area and addressed points made in Shinobu’s previous letters, but she still couldn’t get over the hand writing, it just didn’t sit right with her.

“Mochi, did (Y/n) write this?” Shinobu asked, knowing she was asking a lot of the bird to actually try to hold a conversation in a human language.

“No write, can’t write,” the bird croaked while happily eating some berries.

“Why can’t she write?” Shinobu asked, her brow wrinkled with concern.

“Forgot, can’t say, not supposed to,” the raven replied nervously.

“Mochi, what happened, is she hurt?”

Mochi shifted uncomfortably. “Healing, will be okay. Resting.”

“Is that why she didn’t reply sooner, she got hurt?” Shinobu was mostly just saying that to herself as she began eyeing one of her medicine cabinets intently. She walked over to it and opened the cabinet doors now going into full-on healer mode. “She hasn’t said anything in two weeks so it must be serious,” she turned back to the raven who jumped at the intensity of Shinobu’s gaze and attempted to hide behind the much smaller crow. “Tell me what happened Mochi. I need to know what I must bring.”

“Bring?”

“Yes, now how bad she Mochi, please focus.”

“Arms broken. Head hurts. Feverish. I worry, but she says fine.”

“Fine she says, I’ll show her fine,” Shinobu muttered as she packed the necessary materials, a vein protruding angrily from her forehead. “I need to grab some other supplies from the infirmary, don’t move a muscle.” she commanded before practically teleporting out of the lab.

Shinobu grabbed additional medicines and medical supplies, rustling about the cabinets like a tornado until Kanao came in with an inquisitive sheen to her eyes.

Still unnoticed by her adoptive sister, Kanao flipped her coin and only when she was sure of the result, she spoke.

“Nee-san, are you going somewhere?”

“Oh, Kanao,” Shinobu spun around, “I’m glad you’re still up. I’m going on a mission for a few days, maybe longer. Take care of things while I’m gone please.”

Kanao stared blankly for a moment before flipping her coin once more. Looking back up at Shinobu she asked, “Is this about (Y/n)-san?”

Shinobu faltered in her movements slightly, almost undetectable, but not to Kanao’s sharp eyes.

“How could you tell?” Shinobu smiled almost sheepishly, a faint dusting of pink coloring her cheeks. A sign she knew she had been caught.

“You never bring that much medical supplies on missions for simple demon slaying,” Kanao stated plainly. “I know you have been worried about (Y/n)-san lately. Aoi said it was only a matter of time before you took matters into your own hands.”

“I can’t get much past my smart and observant girls, can I?” Shinobu gave her usual default smile, though it looked a bit more prideful than usual. She closed up the final cabinet and secured her medicinal bag over her shoulder. When she approached Kanao she squeezed her shoulders affectionately. “Look out for each other, make sure Naho, Sumi, and Kiyo keep up with their studies as well. I’ll try to be back in two days tops, but it may take longer if (Y/n) insists on being difficult. Goodbye for now, my little sister,” Shinobu released Kanao and waited patiently as the girl looked at the coin in her hand.

“Bye Nee-san, be safe,” Kanao said after a moment. Shinobu’s smile grew especially warm when Kanao had decided to speak on her own without the aid of the coin. With one last nod, Shinobu left the infirmary with a new energy about her.

***

Shinobu ran through the trees until dawn, following after Mochi as he flew above. As much as she wanted to get there as soon as possible, the many sleepless nights over the past two weeks had taken a toll on Shinobu’s physical state. She admonished herself for being so careless. How could she take care of (Y/n) if she couldn’t even take care of herself? She called for Mochi to stop for a moment and the unusual duo took roost on one of the trees thick and gnarled branches.

“How much further?” Shinobu asked, trying to disguise a yawn hidden behind a small hand.

“Be there by midday if rest short,” the bird replied.

Shinobu nodded, drinking a bit of water and stretching before resigning herself to continue on despite her muscles’ protests.

When the sun was at its highest and hottest was when Shinobu saw the weathered home Mochi was circling over. On closer inspection she recognized the insignia of the Wisteria Houses and she couldn’t help but quietly scoff to herself.

“Oh? Hello young lady, how may I help you?”

Shinobu turned and found herself looking down at a frail old woman who was even smaller than her. Realizing she had been staring, Shinobu began to answer the patient woman.

“Good afternoon, I believe you are currently looking over the demon slayer (Y/n), is that correct?”

“(Y/n)-chan? Ah yes, poor girl. She had a rough mission awhile back, she’s lucky she was with a team that night or I’m not sure she would have made it. She’s resting now I believe, but please do come in,” the old woman replied with the sweet raspiness of someone who has lived a full life and turned back towards the house, her hands trembling as she pushed the door open. She ushered Shinobu into a chair and fixed some tea for the exhausted Hashira who graciously accepted the cup.

“It is a rare honor to have a Hashira in my home, may I ask what brings you here?”

“I’m here for (Y/n),” Shinobu answered, assuming that the old woman had simply forgotten already due to her age.

“Yes, is she training under you, a Tsuguko perhaps?”

“Ah, no. She isn’t training under me,” Shinobu denied.

“I apologize, I suppose I just don’t understand then, why a Pillar of the demon slayers is taking time out of her surely busy schedule to tend to a slayer of a lower level who isn’t even under her instruction.” the old woman questioned.

“I’m afraid that is none of your concern.” Shinobu answered with a tight lipped smile. Perhaps this old woman wasn’t as senile as she had previously believed.

“I’m sorry deary, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. It’s just that I saw you hopping after (Y/n)-chan’s raven and I thought you may have been the recipient of her sweetly composed letter. She asked me to write it for her you see. She had been fretting over what to say for days the poor thing,” the old woman tutted, raising her own teacup to her lips with a shaky grip.

“I see,” Shinobu nodded. “You are correct though, the letter was for me. That is how I knew that I should come.”

“That’s wonderful, Insect Hashira.” the old woman smiled.

“Hisa-san?”

Shinobu turned expectantly in the direction of the voice she hadn’t heard in months, unaware of the knowing smile the old woman was directing at her.

“Well, come with me young lady. The patient is in no shape to leave her bed,” Hisa explained motioning fo Shinobu to follow her down the hallway. Hisa approached another door and gave it a courtesy knock before sliding the door open.

“Hello (Y/n)-chan, how nice of you to join the world of the living again and look who’s here to visit you...”

Hisa made room for Shinobu to enter the room and the Hashira could feel butterflies fluttering in her stomach as she stepped forward.

“Shinobu!” (Y/n)’s eyes gleamed. She tried to sit up, but Shinobu glided over and pushed her back on the futon.

“Hello (Y/n), we have a lot to talk about,” Shinobu said with a smile, however the dark aura did not go unnoticed by (Y/n) as the heavily bandaged girl shifted her eyes nervously to another corner of the room.

“I’ll give you two some space. Have fun with your girlfriend, (Y/n)-chan,” Hisa waved before shutting the door behind her.

“Sh- We’re not- She’s not my girlfriend!” (Y/n) called back, clearly flustered.

“Oh my (Y/n), have you been embellishing the nature of our relationship?” Shinobu gasped, hiding a teasing smile behind her hand, feigning shock.

“No, of course not!” (Y/n) shook her head, trying to look anywhere that wasn’t Shinobu. She shook her head a bit too furiously, causing her to wince and groan.

Shinobu’s face turned serious as she inspected the bandages wrapped around (Y/n)’s head. Her arms were also tightly bound, slings kept the arms crossed firmly over (Y/n)’s stomach. Shinobu pushed (Y/n)’s hair away from her forehead to get a better look at the blood stained bandage. “When was the last time, Hisa-san was it? When was the last time she changed these bandages?”

“Um, maybe yesterday I think? I’ve been kind of out of it so I’m not totally sure.”

“Someone needs to hold these wisteria locations to higher standards if we really expect anyone to survive in their care,” Shinobu tisked, noting how the loose bandages easily came undone in her fingers.

“Hisa-san does her best, she’s really good honestly, we’ve just been dealing with a lot of demons lately so supplies are thin and more demon slayers have been coming and going than usual,” (Y/n) defended, taking a sharp intake of air when Shinobu’s fingers examined her head wound.

“I suppose I’ll have to take your word for it... This may sting a bit,”

(Y/n) hissed as Shinobu dabbed the head wound with a cold, wet cloth. Washing off the dried blood that was caked there so she could better see the wound. It was more like a large scrape, not a gaping wound as Shinobu had initially feared. “So, care to tell me how this all happened since you neglected to mention it in your letter?”

“Um,” (Y/n) paused to clear her throat, “I’ll try but it’s all kind of fuzzy in my mind.”

“Take your time,” Shinobu encouraged, replacing the bandage on (Y/n)’s head.

“Well, I was with an improvised squad, which isn’t uncommon, but this one guy was not having it,” (Y/n) sighed. “He was acting high and mighty all night. Talking about how the rest of us were slowing him down and just being an arrogant jerk.” (Y/n) recalled, an annoyed look upon her face.

“And how exactly is this leading up to how this all happened?” Shinobu smiled, moving to (Y/n)’s arms to get a proper look at the damage there.

“Oh trust me, he’s a major player in this mess,” (Y/n) huffed. “So anyway, we were tracking this demon, right? We followed its tracks to a cave in the side of the mountain range near a village and turns out there was a whole bunch of them in there—AGH!” (Y/n) jolted, a sharp pain caused by Shinobu yanking her left arm hard and fast, making it crack loudly. “Why the fuck did you do that!?” (Y/n) wheezed.

“Your arm wasn’t properly set. It may push your healing back a bit, but at least when your arm heals it will be in the proper position,” Shinobu explained, now moving her attention to the other arm. “Please continue your story.”

“Alright then,” (Y/n) grumbled, still feeling the bone throb under her skin, “So there was a bunch of them in the cave that came out to attack us and we were outnumbered, but they were relatively low level so it shouldn’t have been a problem. Then that arrogant jerk began using breathing techniques without any regard for the rest of us. He was using stone breathing I’m pretty sure, just one technique after the other and he caused a rockslide!” (Y/n) turned away from Shinobu and had a brief coughing fit from getting so worked up.

“Here, drink this,” Shinobu paused her re-wrapping of (Y/n)’s arms to hold a waterskin of medicated water to (Y/n)’s lips and the slayer graciously accepted, downing almost half the bag.

“Thanks,” (Y/n) sighed.

“You’re welcome,” came Shinobu’s sweet reply.

“So we were having to dodge boulders and fight the demons at the same time. One girl got her ankle slashed, ripped right through her tendon and she couldn’t get out of the way of the rockslide so I was trying to carry her away from the battle zone, but then that idiot got thrown in my direction and had the audacity to use the back of my head as a goddamn springboard to fling himself back into battle and I lost balance and fell forward face first into the dirt. The girl flew out of my arms and rolled a few yards and my arms were out in front of me. Before I could move, a boulder came in and crushed my arms,” (Y/n) explained, looking down at her newly wrapped arms.

“I think I would like to have a word or two with this slayer, is he still in this sector?” Shinobu asked calmly, a dark aura contrasting her tone.

“He is, but I’m afraid he wouldn’t be able to hear what you have to say, he was killed in the battle,” (Y/n) explained. “I didn’t see it, but that’s what Watanabe-san and I were told once we were brought back to safety,”

“Watanabe-san?”

“Oh, she was the slayer with the slashed tendon. We’ve been teamed up a few times in the past. She came here for medical attention but she had family nearby so she’s resting there.”

“She must have be grateful for your help that night, even if you ended up hurt as well, I’m sure she appreciated the effort,” Shinobu smiled as she finished whipping up a tonic for (Y/n)’s aching bones.

“She did, she offered for me to come with her to her uncle’s house but I told her I’d be fine here. I didn’t want to over burden her family.”

“You should have accepted, this place is kind of a dump,” Shinobu whispered with a conspiratorial smirk.

“Shinobu, that’s so rude!” (Y/n) whisper-yelled back at the mischievously smiling Pillar.

“Drink this, you’ll need to build up your strength before we can leave,” Shinobu commanded, pressing the lip of the cup to (Y/n)’s own.

(Y/n) nearly choked on the bitter medicine as Shinobu poured the contents down her throat. She shivered and made a disgusted noise when she finished chugging the mixture.

“That was terrible,” she wheezed, resting her head back down on the pillow.

“Don’t say that (Y/n), you’re hurting my feelings,” Shinobu mocked distress, “I worked so hard to make that for you after all.”

“I’m sorry, did I say terrible? I meant... tolerable, terrific! Thank you for helping me!” (Y/n) fretted, falling for Shinobu’s false grief.

“I’ll forgive you if you come quietly when it’s safe to move you,” she smiled, resting her palms on her knees.

“You keep saying we’re going somewhere. Where are we going? I’m not exactly in fighting shape at the moment,” (Y/n) lifted her slung and bandaged arms off of her stomach for emphasis.

“You’ll continue your recovery back at my estate of course. Did you really think I was going to leave you in this squalor?”

“I really wish you would stop insulting this place, Hisa-san works super hard and she is crazy fast and quiet so she could be anywhere!” (Y/n) shifted her eyes around the room before returning her gaze to Shinobu who seemed unbothered by the information. “I’m fine here, really. You don’t need to worry about me when you probably have more important things to do.”

“Are you questioning my discretion as a Hashira?” Shinobu’s smile grew, but failed to reach her eyes as she peered down at the slayer as if challenging her to speak against her plan again.

“No! Not at all, I just-“

“Great, we’ll leave tomorrow depending on your condition!” Shinobu clapped.

“But, the... the butterflies,” (Y/n) whispered, almost as if just speaking of them would be taken as an invitation to appear.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be sure to protect you in your vulnerable state,” Shinobu smiled more kindly, “Who knows, perhaps we could add exposure therapy to your rehabilitation training.”

“Please don’t,” (Y/n) pleaded.

“I still don’t understand why you dislike butterflies so much. Surely when given the option to fight alone against a demon moon or be in the same room as a butterfly you would pick the latter,” Shinobu cocked her head at (Y/n) who seemed to genuinely be mulling it over and the sight exasperated Shinobu. “Really, (Y/n)? Do you really need to think about it?”

“They just freak me out, okay!” (Y/n) shrugged the best she could, “They flutter around and I can never tell where they’re going! They have those long, skinny legs and creepy eyes and weird curly tongue things it’s just— ugh!” She shuddered.

Shinobu couldn’t help but laugh, making (Y/n) pout and narrow her eyes at her. Even as the tinkling laughter died down Shinobu’s soft expression remained and she allowed herself to smooth over (Y/n)’s hair before gently running a cold knuckle over the bruised skin of the girl’s cheek.

“I’ve missed your antics.” Shinobu sighed, her seraphic voice betraying how tired she was as the small statement slurred together ever so slightly.

“You seem tired, have you been sleeping well?” (Y/n) asked while basking in the attentions of the cool, calloused touch.

“You know how our work goes. I’m fine.”

A knock on the door brought the two girls out of the moment and Shinobu turned her head just as Hisa came in with two bowls of rice and vegetables. Shinobu was briefly impressed by the old woman, of whom she had not sensed an approach.

“Lunch for you two, please enjoy,” Hisa crooned as she set the tray on the low lying table nearby. “And here is bedding and a change of clothes for you should you wish for them Insect Hashira.”

Again Shinobu was a bit perplexed over the old woman’s ghostly ability. How had she not noticed the bundle of fabrics Hisa only now seemed to have carried? Perhaps she was too tired Shinobu mused, watching the old woman set up the futon for her.

“I’ll be there in just a moment to help you eat, (Y/n)-chan.” Hisa smiled as she patted the covers smooth.

“No need to trouble yourself, Hisa-san. I can take everything over from here,” Shinobu politely waved her off. “Please leave the rest of (Y/n)’s care to me.”

“If that is what you wish. Call if you require anything.” Hisa finished setting up Shinobu’s sleeping arrangements before slipping out of the room and sliding the door shut behind her.

Shinobu hummed quietly and got up to collect the food from the table, opting instead to set the tray at (Y/n)’s bedside. She lifted one of the bowls and pinched a sprout with the chopsticks and held it before (Y/n)’s face. “Say ahhhh,” She taunted playfully, waving the food before (Y/n)’s lips.

“You don’t need to feed me I can do it myself.” (Y/n) could feel her cheeks heat up as Shinobu persisted with her actions.

“What a bold faced lie, (Y/n). Or perhaps you hit your head harder than I thought? You do see how tightly I bound your arms, correct? Now open up, we don’t want to make a mess now do we?”

(Y/n) looked down at her covered arms slung snuggly over her stomach and made a soft sound of embarrassment. She turned shyly to Shinobu and received the bite, looking away bashfully as she chewed and swallowed.

“See that wasn’t so bad. Have some more, your body needs fuel to help it heal.” Shinobu spoke cheekily and raised the chopsticks again.

Shinobu continued feeding (Y/n) bite after bite until the bowl was empty. Then she replaced the used bowl with the full one waiting nearby and began eating her own lunch. She still sat by (Y/n)’s side and shared in conversation as she ate. Despite the plainness of the small meal, Shinobu felt like it was the best thing she’d eaten in a long time. Though she suspects it was as Mitsuri often told her, it’s the company with which one shares the meal that makes it taste so much better.

Shinobu’s lips curl into a small, sweet smile as she watches (Y/n)’s eyelids droop. When (Y/n) attempts to hide a yawn with her shoulder, Shinobu helps her lay back down from her reclined position. She only teasingly stroked (Y/n)’s hair three or four times before the slayer passed out. The smile grew a bit more proud as she realized (Y/n)’s total concentration breathing persisted even in her sleep. Shinobu studied the exhausted yet, peaceful expression. Drinking in the face she hadn’t seen in months, she wondered how a girl she had only met in person for a short period of time could already have such a prominent place in her mind.

Shinobu stretched her arms over her head and popped her spine, releasing a relaxed sigh as the tension escaped her back. The many nights of minimal, restless sleep had really taken a toll. She shuffled over to her own bed roll, only taking a moment to remove her blade, hairpin, and haori before slipping into the covers and succumbing to a deep, dreamless sleep.

***

It was well in to the next morning when Shinobu finally stirred. She fought with herself to sit up, a soft groan of displeasure left her mouth as she left the heat of her blanketed cocoon. She lazily scanned the room, her eyebrows knit together once her gaze landed on the empty futon a few meters away from her own. Her ear picked up the faint sounds of a struggle coming from the next room and her senses went into high alert.

Shinobu got up and grabbed her saya, a practiced hand poised over the hilt of her nichirin blade, she edged the door open with her foot and—

“Ahh!” (Y/n) squeaked and turned away from Shinobu to cover herself with her rumpled uniform top.

“Oh, (Y/n),” Shinobu laughed, “What are you doing?”

“I’m trying to get dressed, obviously. Can you leave please?” (Y/n) asked, trying to shoo the Hashira away.

“How long have you been trying to fit your fitted sleeves over those thick bandages?” Shinobu asked instead, smirking and leaning against the door frame.

“...I don’t want to talk about it.” (Y/n) mumbled, her shoulders slouched.

Shinobu giggled and made to approach, picking up the discarded kimono that (Y/n) had worn the previous day. “Your uniform would probably make traveling more comfortable, but I really rather not have to unwrap your arms. I recommend you keep wearing this, at least until we get home.”

“But it’s not practical, what if we encounter a demon?” (Y/n) worried.

“No offense (Y/n), but no matter what you wear, you won’t be much help with a fight in your condition,” Shinobu gave a sympathetic smile as she held out the kimono and discretely eyed (Y/n)’s scar, the previous injury that had brought them together. “Of course, if you’d rather go topless who am I to judge?” She teased.

“Oh my gods, give me that!” (Y/n) took the kimono from an all too pleased Shinobu and nudged her toward the door. “It took me twenty minutes just to put on pants, sorry that I would rather not let that struggle go to waste.” (Y/n) grumped, frown deepening at Shinobu’s tinkling laughter.

“If you need any help, just ask. I’d like to leave while it’s still light out.” Shinobu called through the door.

Shinobu took her time fixing her hair and packing up her supplies, but once that was done she was pretty much ready to go. She pulled on her haori and accepted a late breakfast from Hisa and she casually taunted (Y/n) through the door as she ate.

Finally, the berated girl emerged from the separate room wearing the kimono and her haori draped over her shoulders, looking almost as exhausted as yesterday. (Y/n) loosely held onto her uniform which Shinobu took from her to pack tightly into her bag.

“Oh dear,” Shinobu tutted, “You already tired yourself out haven’t you?”

“I can still walk, despite everything else my legs somehow are fine.”

“In that case,” Shinobu reached out and pinched (Y/n)’s thigh causing the other girl to let out a surprised, slightly pained yelp.

“What was that for?” (Y/n) hissed, gingerly rubbing the sore spot through her kimono.

“For removing your slings. You could have upset the alignment of your arms.” Shinobu scolded gently as she moved to fit the slings back around (Y/n)‘s arms and neck. Once she was satisfied, she helped (Y/n) eat breakfast, which was technically lunch at this point.

Shinobu gathered the rest of (Y/n)’s meager belongings, most noticeably her nichirin blade, and hefted her bag over her shoulder. (Y/n) offered to carry it, but Shinobu refused. Once they were ready to leave, Hisa created sparks for them and wished them good fortune during their journey. Shinobu and (Y/n) thanked Hisa, bid her goodbye and headed out.

Mochi cawed joyously and flew circles around the girls as they walked through the nearby village. He was causing a scene, but (Y/n) let him have his fun. He was just excited to be out and about with his slayer again.

“(L/n)-san!”

(Y/n) stopped and turned her head, prompting Shinobu to do the same. “Oh, Watanabe-san, hi!”(Y/n) greeted the girl hunched over a crutch with a couple small children circling her. They had also stopped to stare up at the boisterous raven.

“You aren’t heading out on a mission right now are you?” Watanabe asked, worry evident as she hobbled closer. She hadn’t even acknowledged Shinobu’s presence, instead focusing her wide eyes solely on (Y/n).

“Oh no,” (Y/n) shook her head, “Just transferring health care facilities. Kochou-sama’s orders.” (Y/n) half joked, turning to the Pillar next her and finally tearing Watanabe’s eyes away from her to look over at Shinobu.

“Kochou-sama!” Watanabe gasped and bowed clumsily at the waist. “I’m sorry I hadn’t realized sooner-“

“It’s fine, your off duty. Relax.” Shinobu gave the girl a small smile. Watanabe released a relieved sigh and a polite ‘thank you’ before eagerly turning her attention back to (Y/n).

“Well, this was good timing seeing as you’re leaving already,” Watanabe chuckled nervously. “I was just coming by to thank you again for saving me that night.”

“No need to thank me,” (Y/n) replied bashfully. “We both ended up in bad shape by the end of the night. If it wasn’t for the others we wouldn’t have made it back anyway.”

“It still means a lot to me. We’ve been on quite a few missions together now and it feels good to know that I can trust you to have my back.” Watanabe explained, a small dusting of blush appearing over her cheeks caused Shinobu’s smile to subtly twitch. “And I love to have yours too of course!” She said. Then she paused a moment before trying to amend her statement, “I mean like, you’ve got my back and I’ve got yours when we’re killing demons and stuff!”

“Yeah, I got it.” (Y/n) laughed. “I’m glad.”

“Kawa-nee,” one of the young children spoke up, tugging at Watanabe’s clothes, “Is she that girl you talk about all the time? The one you think is really pre—“

“Is really pre, pre- professional and good at her job? Yes, that’s our (L/n)-san haha!” Watanabe squished the little boy’s cheeks until his lips were pouty and protruding harshly. “Little cousins, such a handful!” Despite looking horrified, she tittered and blushed, her hands still smushing the poor boy’s face.

“Can I pet your birb?” Another child asked from behind Watanabe, pointing to Mochi still screaming in the sky.

“Uh-“

“I’m afraid we need to keep moving along,” Shinobu interjected before (Y/n) could speak. “(Y/n) is already quite tired in her weakened state and I’d hate to have her traipsing around in the dark longer than necessary. Surely you understand.”

“Of course Kochou-sama, forgive us,” Watanabe ran a hand through her hair, her face beet red with a sheepish expression. “I guess this is goodbye for now, (L/n)-san. I wish you a full and speedy recovery. I hope to be fighting by your side again soon!” The girl spoke sincerely, “And you know, maybe hang out sometime...” she added quietly under her breath. It was something that clearly wasn’t meant to be heard but it didn’t escape Shinobu’s acute hearing as the Pillar fought to not roll her eyes.

“Thanks, Watanabe-san. I wish you an excellent recovery too, rest well,” (Y/n) beamed, seemingly unaware of the effect she had on her poor fellow slayer.

“Yes, goodbye now. Lovely meeting you,” Shinobu waved with one hand and placed the other at the small of (Y/n)’s back to usher her along. Even as (Y/n) got into a steady gait, Shinobu persisted with her touch and gave Watanabe a plastic smile over her shoulder before redirecting her attention to (Y/n), her fingers pressing a hint further into the fabric at (Y/n)’s back as she gently pushed her out of the small, bustling village.

***

They had traveled a few decent kilometers and the sun had passed its highest point. Mochi had finally grown tired of his circling and took a precarious perch on the slant of (Y/n)’s shoulder as she and Shinobu continued to walk through the twisted woods.

“Do tell me when you need to rest, (Y/n). I don’t wish for you to pass out on me, I’ve got enough things to carry as is.” Shinobu spoke, breaking the comfortable silence that had surrounded them for awhile now.

“I’ll be fine,” (Y/n) spoke with an ill timed cough.

“Perhaps a quick break is in order after all.” Shinobu frowned, placing the back of her hand on (Y/n)’s scalding forehead she winced internally. “You’re burning up. We’re pushing too hard, rest.”

“I can keep going Shinobu, really. I don’t want to slow you down any more than I already have.”

“(Y/n), I’m out here because I want to be. There is nothing more important to me in this moment than your well-being. Now sit under this shady tree, drink some of this medicated water, and rest.” Shinobu commanded, helping (Y/n) lower herself to the ground and offering a waterskin for the girl to drink from.

“Mmm ‘kay.” (Y/n) mumbled, too tired to argue further.

Shinobu simpered at the injured slayer then stood and turned to take in her surroundings. She looked to the trees above and counted veiny offshoots of the sun illuminated greenery above, killing time until (Y/n) could travel more ground.

I’m going to need to be especially vigilant tonight.

“ShinobuShinobuShinobuShinobu!”

Shinobu whipped her head around back to (Y/n) heart racing she was by her side in an instant and cupped the quivering girl’s cheeks in her hands. Her eyes switching between (Y/n) and the surrounding environment rapidly to try to understand what could possibly have upset her so- oh.

“Shinobu!”

“I see, I see. Don’t worry, I’ve got it.” Shinobu released the tension she had been holding and moved to shoo away the small black butterfly that was happily perched on one of the roots of the tree. She watched as it fluttered a few meters away to the trunk of another tree before Mochi spooked it even further away. She wanted to be mad at (Y/n), to scold her for scaring so badly over something that couldn’t possibly hurt her, but instead she smiled tenderly and crouched down to sit next to the quaking girl and pulled her into a caring embrace, having (Y/n)’s head rest in the crook of her neck.

“Don’t worry. I’m watching it, just focusing on your breathing. I’m here.” Shinobu cooed as (Y/n) hid her face in Shinobu’s chest.

True to her word, Shinobu watched the insect flutter around as Mochi attempted to chase it away. She found it odd that the butterfly would continue to stick around after being repeatedly dive bombed by the bird, but she didn’t think too much of it. Shinobu shifted her position ever so carefully to get a bit more comfortable since she could tell (Y/n) had fallen asleep. Whether out of stress or just plain physical exhaustion she wasn’t quite sure, but she’d wager that both played a part.

She allowed the girl to sleep a while longer, enjoying the simplicity of this rare peaceful moment and committing it to memory. They only had a few hours of daylight left now, so Shinobu begrudgingly patted (Y/n)’s back.

“(Y/n), it’s time to start moving again.” Shinobu’s seraphic voice called out.

(Y/n) groaned and shook her sleep addled head from her position on Shinobu’s shoulder, her nose grazed the side of Shinobu’s neck as she did so.

“(Y/n), night will soon befall us. We must go. However, once we get back to the Estate, you may sleep on me all you want if that’s what you desire.”

(Y/n)’s head shot up and she fell back against the roots away from Shinobu’s flirtatiously teasing smile, feeling the heat radiating off her face increase ten fold.

“Sorry!” (Y/n) stuttered out. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep!”

“No need to apologize, you looked very cute. So cuddly too,” Shinobu teased as she helped the poor girl to her feet. Before (Y/n) could reply, Shinobu pushed (Y/n) forward, her hand taking a now familiar perch over (Y/n)’s obi. “Let’s be on our way! Mochi, you can stop tormenting that butterfly now,” she spoke over her shoulder to the raven and watched him dive at the insect one last time before soaring above their heads.

“Why do you keep guiding me by the waist? I know how to get to where we’re going,” (Y/n) asked while staring warily over her shoulder at the black butterfly dodging a beam of light to continue lurking in the shaded grove.

“The forest floor is covered in gnarled roots and jagged rocks. I’d hate for you to trip and not be able to break your fall.” Shinobu explained. “Like that,” she giggled her whole arm now curled around (Y/n)’s waist as she pulled the girl back up before (Y/n)’s tripping could completely fell her. “You should really watch where you’re stepping.”

“But I need to watch the butterfly!” (Y/n) insisted, still looking back despite Shinobu’s advice.

“I’m standing right beside you.”

“What are you- oh, I see what you did there, Insect Pillar.” (Y/n) chuckled.

Shinobu continued to distract (Y/n) from her fear as they walked on. Telling (Y/n) about the last visit Tanjirou and his squad paid to the Butterfly Estate as well as an embarrassing story about Tomioka Giyuu that had both girls snickering at the poor man’s misfortune.

As dusk fell over the forest, Shinobu estimated they would make it home in a couple more hours. To travel by darkness wasn’t safe for numerous reasons, but at least they had a lovely full moon to light the way.

The conversation between the two girls naturally died off as the pinks and oranges of the sunset disappeared and night fell. It was necessary for them to stay alert of their surroundings, to be able to hear even the slightest shift in the wind beneath the near deafening songs of cicadas and crickets. Even Mochi flew high above the trees, silently searching for anything amiss.

(Y/n) shivered as a cool breeze shook the leaves of the trees and wished she could pull her haori more tightly over herself. She casually glanced to her left but soon did a double take, swiveling her whole head to the side and pausing in her footsteps. This alerted Shinobu as her hand stayed at (Y/n)’s back.

(Y/n) thought she had saw something. Something small and dark crossed the edge of her vision but whatever it was, if it was anything at all, was gone now. She turned to shake her head at Shinobu to communicate the momentary pause before they continued on the path with near silent footfalls.

They weren’t much further along when another dark shape crossed (Y/n)’s peripheral. Another chill overtook (Y/n)’s body and she could feel the little hairs on the back of her neck prickle to attention. She pursed her lips and side stepped out of Shinobu’s touch and stopped walking.

(Y/n) flickered her eyes between Shinobu’s and her blade twice. The Hashira interpreted the expression easily and poised her now free hand over the hilt of her blade as she scanned the thick woods around them. This part of the forest let in precious little light from the moon, only a few sporadic beams managed to kiss the cold earth below.

The cicadas and crickets had gone quiet.

Another particularly strong gust of howling wind rattled the leaves and pushed at the young slayers’ clothes and hair, yet still nothing emerged from the darkness. Shinobu and (Y/n) knew better than to lower their guard now however.

A few tense, painfully quiet minutes passed before (Y/n) heard it. A faint ‘fwtfwtfwt’ steadily growing in intensity. (Y/n) looked over to Shinobu who nodded in her direction. The Hashira had lowered her bag and (Y/n)’s sheathed blade to the ground in the nook between two roots of a nearby tree before withdrawing her own poison laced blade from its saya and holding it at the ready.

The noise grew louder, sounding like paper flapping rapidly in a windstorm and (Y/n) couldn’t stop the scream that shot out from her throat and escaped through Shinobu’s hastily placed finger tips that had been slapped over her lips.

Butterflies, at least a hundred if they had to guess, emerged from the darkness with the same inky black color of the one they encountered in the earlier that day.

(Y/n)’s lips quivered against Shinobu’s hand and the rest of her shook just as violently, yet her feet remained as firmly placed as a statue. Too consumed by fear to even think about bolting away.

There was nowhere to run anyway, the butterflies flew around them from all angles, more waiting just beyond the trees.

“You found my dinner have you, my lovelies?” A gravelly voice called from the darkness, followed by a sound that was like a dusty cackle mixed with a cough. “She moves rather quickly for being in such a weak state.”

A looming figure finally caught a beam of moonlight and (Y/n) wished desperately to have missed the state of such a miserable looking creature. It was a decrepit looking thing, a grotesque demon with two obscenely large, vacant compound eyes that protruded far from its face. The demon’s faded blue kimono was torn and frayed at the hem, revealing bare feet caked in dried blood and dirt. It was an old, ragged relic that paid homage to humanity long since lost.

“Ahh, there’s the damaged goods,” The demon smiled sinisterly at (Y/n), its bulbous eyes unmoving, “Just the scent of your fear alone is oh so delectable. I can’t wait to taste the rest!” the demon’s voice crackled, its neck craned to scrutinize (Y/n)’s form, a long, wire thin tongue escaped chapped lips for a moment in a poor attempt to wet them.

“Ara, what an abomination you are,” Shinobu taunted, stepping in front of (Y/n) to obscure her from the demon’s view, “You’ve really made a mess of things you know? I was going to help (Y/n) get used to butterflies but showing your repulsive form has surely driven her further into fear. I’ll have to dispose of you quickly for causing such a setback.” Shinobu spoke, her lips quirked upward in a kind of smile that somehow radiated pure anger and disgust.

“Be gone, slayer. Your blood is no good. My babies have whispered of you. They assessed you in the daylight, the girl is slowing you, leave her to me. You cannot protect her while fighting my kaleidoscope, leave her now and you’ll live to see another sun.” The demon spoke as if it was being most generous, even chivalrous, with its proposal.

“My, what ludicrous words you speak. I have half a mind to cut out your tongue over such a suggestion. My blade may not be suited for chopping heads, but for this purpose it should work just fine!” Shinobu leapt up into the trees, the sudden movement was followed by a swarm of black butterflies.

(Y/n) was breathing heavily, trying to regain total concentration with no success. She had no idea what to do. She had no way of helping Shinobu in her condition. There was nowhere to go-

“Mochi!” (Y/n) yelled out into the sky. The raven was busy avoiding a smaller swarm of demon insects, performing various swoops and dives to stay out of their way. “Lose those butterflies and go to the Estate! Get help!” The raven released a distressed caw, reluctant to leave his slayer behind, but with a few well made aerial maneuvers he spun away from the insects’ traps and flew off into the night. But not before squawking an ominous warning.

“Careful, draw much blood so sharp!”

“Blood, sharp? What-“

“Troublesome girl, by the time anyone gets here the only thing left to help with will be cleaning your entrails from the moss and roots!” The demon lurched forward, the motion encouraged (Y/n) to finally find her legs, bolting just before the demon could reach her with its gnarled claws. She could feel the displaced air from the missed swipe at her neck.

“Fuck, fuckfuckfuck!” (Y/n) must have yelled the expletive a thousand times as she stumbled away from the hungry beast, between the length of her kimono and the binding of her arms her efforts alone would surely not be enough to escape.

“Run all you like, my babies show me all. Even now I see the other human hopping amongst the branches above looking for an opening she won’t find. It’s all hopeless.”

As the demon slowed its pursuit, butterflies flanked (Y/n)’s sides as she continued to run. She made a particularly hard turn and fell forward, having just enough forethought to twist so her back hit the ground rather than her slung arms.

As she tried to bring herself back to her feet, something caught her eyes that made them blow wide open. The butterflies that had been hot on her trail had been embedded deep into the bark of the tree she had ducked behind. As she processed the information the demon drew closer in the moonlight until its shadow loomed over (Y/n) who was still struggling to get up.

“You’re mine!” The demon snarled, unfurling its whiplike tongue.

“Dance of the Bee Sting: True Flutter!” Shinobu had re-emerged from the shadows of the trees at lightning speed, her blade poised to strike deep within the demon’s back.

The demon grinned wickedly, (Y/n) could see herself reflected in its gargantuan eyes, as well as another wave of butterflies flying around her in a beeline towards Shinobu.

“Sharp!” (Y/n) finally understood, but everything was happening much too fast. “Shinobu, stop!” (Y/n) screamed.

Shinobu’s breath hitched and she changed her trajectory at the very last moment to take a forward tumble and land a few meters away from the demon’s side. She quickly burst forward once her feet made contact with the earth and less than gracefully scooped (Y/n) from the ground, half carrying her as she continued to hop away.

“I hope you had good reason for that little outburst,” Shinobu’s voice strained as she tried to maintain her grip, her arms already aching. A familiar self loathing at her lack of physical strength bubbling to the surface.

“Shinobu, the butterflies’ wings are sharp enough to slice into trees. You would have been cut into ribbons if you flew into them!” (Y/n) hastily informed. “The demon said it could see through the butterflies, so even if its not looking directly at you, if there is a butterfly tailing you it knows where you are!”

“What an annoying creature,” Shinobu huffed, as she struggled to lean (Y/n) against a large boulder to help her regain her footing. “Long range battles are less than favorable.”

“It’s only a matter of time before it catches up again, what can we do? Mochi probably hasn’t even made it to the Estate yet,” (Y/n) murmured worriedly, mind whirring as fast as possible to come up with a solution.

“You needn’t worry, (Y/n),” Shinobu brushed her fingers over (Y/n)’s jaw and tilted her head so their eyes would meet, “I merely stated that long range unfavorable, in order to kill this demon, I’ll simply have to move so fast that it won’t matter if it can see me coming and remove those pesky eyes.” She smiled.

“But Shinobu-!”

“(Y/n), I certainly hope you aren’t doubting my abilities. Perhaps in your very lax use of titles and honorifics you’ve forgotten that I hold rank over you, yes? The highest rank a demon slayer can achieve?”

“I’m very sorry, Kochou-sama! That wasn’t my intention!” (Y/n) bowed awkwardly, a nervous sweat rolling off her brow.

“I didn’t say you had to stop being informal with me, just trust that I know what I’m doing, silly girl,” Shinobu smiled affectionately at her chagrined companion before spinning gracefully on her toes to face the dark abyss that was steadily growing louder, her nichirin sword at the ready, “Now, listen carefully and do as I say...”

***

A few moments later, they were under attack once again, the butterflies descended upon them in a flurry, but they were ready.

(Y/n) and Shinobu split off, a majority of the demon bugs swarmed after Shinobu as (Y/n) clambered back to where Shinobu had discarded her bag. It was still quite a ways off and (Y/n) could only hope the demon was as slow as Shinobu believed it to be. Sure, it seemed to take pause during a few points in its chase, but it could just as easily be toying with them.

(Y/n) nearly tripped due to a shallow hole in the dirt, but was lucky enough to regain her balance and keep going despite the disruption of her forward momentum. She must have cursed her useless arms over a million times in the last ten minutes alone.

“I really hope you know what you’re doing Shinobu!” (Y/n) hissed to herself as one butterfly got to close and managed to swipe her cheek, a streak of blood mingled with stinging sweat.

Finally she saw the discarded bag and her sword which she wished desperately to be able to use. She had no time to stop and figure out how to pick the bag up so she made a little prayer that her uniform would cushion the valuable vials Shinobu said were inside and kicked the bag high into the air, managing to catch the strap in her teeth, and kept running.

(Y/n) made a large arc around another thick grouping of trees and began making her way back into Shinobu’s general area. (Y/n)’s head and heart were pounding and her vision was blurring dangerously. And that was the least of her problems. Adrenaline or no, (Y/n) was sure she was at her limit and was going to crash very soon.

“I have grown tired of this game!”

(Y/n) cried out as the demon lunged from the shadows and tackled her to the ground, it’s mouth frothing and dripping foamy saliva onto (Y/n)’s kimono. (Y/n) managed to kick the demon off and she scooted frantically backwards, watching the angry monster crawl after her with its tongue lashing at her retreating ankles.

“This wasn’t part of the plan! This wasn’t part of the plan!” (Y/n) chanted to herself as she ripped one of her arms free from its sling, wincing through the pain as she straightened it and dug through the bag while still scrambling backward.

“Uhehehe! You’re little friend is busy with a special addendum of this demon blood technique of mine. I left her with enough of my babies to make a clone of myself. There are no obvious differences to be found, she will die believing she was truly facing off with me,” the demon cackled, fully clutching onto (Y/n)’s ankle and dragging her back, “little did she know I was really here, devouring her friend!”

“Devour this, bitch!” (Y/n)’s arm withdrew from the bag with a surgical syringe in her bandaged fist and stabbed it deep into the nearest eye of the miserable creature, draining the purple liquid into the gelatinous mass.

The demon roughly pushed the girl back and released a most horrendously shrill scream into the night. It reeled back on its haunches and clutched at its face.

“What have you done to me! My eyes! My eyes!” It bellowed, its eyes had begun to deteriorate at a rapid pace, a purplish red puss leaked from its tear ducts as it blindly grasped at (Y/n)’s legs. “I’ll make you wish you were never born!”

(Y/n)’s eyes clenched shut, she had no strength left to continue fighting, everything hurt so much she couldn’t even move to defend herself any longer. She could feel the hot breath against her neck, but then the sensation was quickly replaced with that of the cool night breeze and her eyes shot open to see a pure white haori flutter against her cheek.

“Kanao-san!” (Y/n) cheered, her expression one of euphoric disbelief.

“Where did you go you slippery little worm!” The demon shrieked, ripping madly at the ground with its claws.

Kanao stopped a safe distance away from the ranting beast and laid (Y/n) onto the grass and began assessing the beyond beat up slayer before her.

“Wait, Kanao-san, the demon needs to be dealt with and we need to find Kochou-sama.” (Y/n)’s speech was hurried and a bit slurred, it was becoming increasingly more difficult to stay present in the moment and (Y/n) was trying very hard to stay lucid to update Kanao on the situation.

Kanao stared down at (Y/n) then up at the writhing demon, then back down at (Y/n). She gingerly adjusted (Y/n’s neck and head so that she was looking back at her tormentor of the night and could see what was about to take place. (Y/n)’s heart filled with relief as a familiar blur, that was truly very blurry at this point, ambushed the demon from the trees. “She’s okay...”

“Dance of the Dragonfly: Compound Eye Hexagon!” Shinobu speedily stabbed the demon multiple times, injecting it full of her poison. She was absolutely furious. Not only had the demon wasted her time with that cheap parlor trick clone, it had left (Y/n) in worse shape than Shinobu had found her in the care of the Wisteria House.

She dug her heel harshly into the demon’s ribs once she got a good look at (Y/n) as Kanao tended to her. Shinobu’s jaw set tightly and she glared darkly at the demon writhing and gasping under her foot.

“You,” Shinobu spoke lowly. “I wish I could kill you a hundred more times, but this will have to do. I’ve used my most agonizing blend of poison after all.” She waited for the demon to release one final wheeze before stepping away, crushing a wilting remnant of a demonic butterfly into ash beneath her foot as she made her way over to Kanao and an unconscious (Y/n) with a visibly pained expression.

“Thank you for your impeccable timing and diligence. When I heard that scream I thought... You got to her just in time,” Shinobu knelt down opposite Kanao, beside (Y/n), checking over the girl’s body for any injury that could not wait to be dealt with.

“Mochi was invaluable. I wouldn’t have even known to come to the forest without him. He’s guiding a couple Kakushi here as we speak,” Kanao reported as she would upon completing a mission.

“I’m glad,” Shinobu twined her idle fingers with those on (Y/n)’s left hand and closed her eyes wearily. “I’ve done nothing but put her in danger tonight. She needs to be kept in hands stronger than mine.”

Kanao hesitantly reached out and covered (Y/n) and Shinobu’s joined hands with her own, meeting her sister’s curious gaze a bit nervously. “I... I don’t think (Y/n)-san could be in more capable hands than your own, Neesan.”

“She’s right.”

Kanao and Shinobu blinked at each other before tilting their heads downward to find half open (e/c) eyes staring back up at them.

“It was a strange and clever demon, it targeted me specifically because it observed my injuries and knew I’d be easy pray. If I had been at the top of my game, or if you didn’t have to worry about me, you would have been able to take out that demon much faster. It took advantage of us, so don’t belittle yourself, please.” (Y/n) smiled warmly and weakly squeezed Shinobu’s fingers.

“You’re too kind,” Shinobu gave a small smile in return, “Don’t strain yourself now, rest.” She spoke softly, but (Y/n) continued to babble in her feverish, exhausted haze.

“I just don’t want you to be sad, you know? You work so hard and you’re so cool and smart and beautiful so, yeah, gods I’m so tired. Imma take a nap righ’ here. Night.”

“(Y/n), (Y/n)!”

“Ah!”

Mochi had swooped in from high above the trees and landed on (Y/n)’s chest with wings outstretched and proceeded to hop around her torso and cry with relief.

Shinobu gently admonished the bird, offering her arm as a more acceptable perch as (Y/n) groaned and turned in on herself.

“Kochou-sama, Tsuyuri-sama!” two Kakushi called as they emerged from the trees, one cradled (Y/n)’s sword in their arms as they made their hasty approach.

“Oh gods, you again?” One of the Kakushi griped once he caught sight of (Y/n) on the ground. “You aren’t going to fight me when I pick you up again, are you?”

(Y/n) pouted and shook her head slightly, fighting to keep consciousness despite claiming that she was going to sleep.

“Shinobu promised to keep the butterflies away, it’s fine.” She mumbled, forgoing usual formalities that she would normally use in the presence of others.

“What do butterflies have to do with anything?” the other Kakushi wondered aloud, scratching their head with the hilt of (Y/n)’s blade.

“Just ignore her, it’s been a long night and I’d like to get home,” Shinobu waved them off, trying to distract from (Y/n)’s slip of her self proclaimed, ‘most embarrassing secret’.

The gruff Kakushi picked (Y/n) up and with a little help from Kanao, got her slung over his back.

“Ugh, everything hurts. Don’t bounce so much,” (Y/n) whined, her voice muffled by the Kakushi’s back.

“Quit complaining I-“

“Do be gentle with her please,” Shinobu interjected, she gripped the Kakushi’s shoulder and gave him a dazzling smile that shook him to his very core.

“Y-yes ma’am!”

***

(Y/n) awoke several hours later. She was disoriented, but clean and warm in the comfort of the Butterfly Estate’s infirmary.

“(Y/n)-san woke up!” Kiyo exclaimed from (Y/n)’s side, startling the girl from her haze between sleep and wakefulness.

“Hey, Kiyo, how long was I out?” (Y/n) asked the small girl at her bedside who was quickly joined by Naho and Sumi scurrying over from the opposite side of the room.

“You’ve been asleep for over three days since you got back. Shinobu-sama slept a lot too. Not as much as you, but once she had you taken care of she slept almost all day!” Kiyo informed. “It’s been awhile since Shinobu-sama has slept so soundly.”

“I’m glad she’s been resting. That fight was, kind of intense to say the least,” (Y/n) shuddered just thinking about that battle. She was sure she’d be seeing long, whipping tongues, bulbous eyes and razor sharp butterflies in her nightmares from now on. She needed to become even stronger. “Has Kochou-sama said anything about when my recovery training will begin to you girls?”

“Hmmm no,” Sumi shook her head.

“She just asked to make sure you don’t leave your cot and to call for her if your condition worsened.” Naho supplied.

“You are in no shape to even think about recovery training right now.”

Everyone jumped and turned to the door, observing Shinobu as she crossed the threshold into the infirmary. The younger girls parted for Shinobu, the Hashira took ahold of (Y/n)’s chin and jaw in one hand and gently turned it this way and that to check the cuts and bruises that marred the slayer’s face. She released a quiet, satisfactory hum seeing that nothing appeared infected. As she continued her evaluation, she continued to speak, “Your body has been through a considerable amount of stress to say the least. The way I see it, you’ll be out of commission for a couple months at the very least.”

“A couple months? But—!”

“Shhh,” Shinobu adjusted her hand to cover (Y/n)’s lips and stifle her protests. “I will hear no ‘buts’ about it. This is not up for debate. Now you will not leave this bed until I have personally cleared you to do so. Have I made myself clear?” Shinobu’s eyes stare relentlessly into (Y/n)’s, almost threateningly so, as she slides her hand to rest on the bedridden slayer’s shoulder, awaiting an answer.

“Crystal clear,” (Y/n) squeaked, trying to sink further into the bed. Shinobu squeezed their shoulder gingerly before withdrawing her hand completely with a satisfied smile.

“I’m glad you understand,” Shinobu hummed approvingly. “Now, you must be hungry. Girls,” she turned to Sumi, Kiyo and Naho, “see if Aoi needs help with dinner, please.”

“Yes, Shinobu-sama!” the girls nodded vigorously, waving goodbye before disappearing out of the room and down the hall with the soft thuds of tiny feet on wood.

“Can you tell me how you’re feeling?” Shinobu asked, directing her attention back to (Y/n).

“Hmm? Oh, I’m okay. Just, tired. Sore.” (Y/n) startled a bit, hoping it hadn’t been too obvious that she had been staring at Shinobu while the youngest girls of the estate took their leave.

“I see,” Shinobu hummed, setting herself to sit on the edge of the bed, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” (Y/n) flexed her ankle, hitting her foot against Shinobu’s side, “I wish you would believe me when I say that.”

“It’s hard to argue the contrary. I did take you away from the Wisteria House after all. As shoddy as the building is, at least the wisteria would have kept you safe.”

(Y/n) moved to kick at Shinobu again, but the Hashira blocked the foot, leveling a warning glance at the bedridden slayer.

“You know, I was really surprised when you came.” (Y/n) admitted, turning to look out the window. She flinched when she noticed the butterfly on the other side, but kept her eyes on it, watching. “It made me really happy, actually.”

Shinobu blinked, unsure of how to proceed. She didn’t need to however as (Y/n) kept talking.

“I had been looking for an excuse to come by, to visit. I didn’t know what you’d think. I thought that you were just fine with being pen pals and me showing up would be weird, and then I thought about the butterflies and I just lost my nerve every time I thought about it. And then I got hurt again and I thought the letter I had Hisa-san write would be good enough for you, but you came to see me for yourself,” (Y/n) paused and gulped nervously, still watching the butterfly as it was joined by another.

“I’m rambling, aren’t I? I just wanted to tell you that it meant a lot that you would take time to come look after me when your so busy. Even when it got dangerous, I can’t say that I regretted it because I was just happy to be with you— Eep!”

Shinobu moved from her perch at the end of the bed to lay over (Y/n)’s body, her face hidden in (Y/n)’s neck.

“Shinobu!”

(Y/n) felt rumblings over her neck and chest growing in intensity and although it hurt, she smiled brightly as Shinobu’s laughter racked her body.

“Thank you.” Shinobu chuckled once she had reined in her laughter. “That was very sweet of you to say. Aren’t you embarrassed to speak so candidly?”

“Should I be?” (Y/n) asked, nervously. “Oh gods, I didn’t read this wrong, did I?”

Shinobu rose herself to rest on her elbow, her other hand raised to silence the girl below her before her second guessing got too out of hand and tapped her nose playfully. The action drawing (Y/n)’s up to Shinobu’s filled with mirth and warmth.

“You have nothing to worry about. Relax, don’t over exert yourself.”

“So, you...?”

“Mhmmm,” Shinobu smiled, curing a lock of (Y/n)’s hair between her fingers, “so don’t stress. After all, we’ll be seeing a lot of each other while you heal over the next few months. And then, once you heal and are able to take on missions again, maybe you won’t have to think twice about coming over for a visit, hm?”

“I- I suppose not.” (Y/n) smiled bashfully at the butterfly goddess above her.

“Shinobu-sama, you’re going to crush her!”

Shinobu and (Y/n) whipped their heads to the door where Aoi, Kanao, and three mildly concerned young girls stood with food trays in hand.

“My, I’m not that heavy am I? Choose your answer wisely,” Shinobu cocked her head playfully in (Y/n)’s direction, watching her shake her head and laugh.

“Not at all my lady. No more heavy than a blanket really.”

“Ugh, is this what I’m going to have to put up with now?” Aoi groaned and rolled her eyes, placing a tray on the nightstand beside (Y/n)’s bed while fighting the smile that threatened to tug at her lips.

Aoi watched as the younger girls cheered and giggled, crawling on to the bed to chatter on about anything that came to mind as they ate their own dinners. Even Kanao had pulled up a chair, a relaxed smile on her face. Aoi begrudgingly pulled up her own chair, basking in the warmth of the moment despite the strange seating accommodations that certainly weren’t befitting of a proper dinner.

“So annoying.”

#kny oneshots #kny x reader #demon slayer oneshots #demon slayer x reader #shinobu x reader #shinobu kochou x reader #shinobu kocho x reader

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qianinterprises · 4 years ago

Text

Bundled Joy {Part One}

Pairing: Kun x Reader

Genre: fluff, crack, minor angst, pregnancy au

Warnings: pregnant reader, yelling, teasing, overprotective Xiaojun, teasing YangYang, slight explicit language

Word Count: 2.9k

Synopsis: You have a secret that somehow, all of the boys discover before you have time to tell the father. Now, you just have to fight them to tell Kun first.

Author's Notes: I started writing this honestly because I was bored and needed something to do. I didn't expect to finish it, much less post it, so it's going to be pretty different from most of the things I have written in the past. With that said, I have also decided to make this a series, but, as this was just meant to be fun, I cannot guarantee that I will update regularly, but I will try. Also note that this is my first ever series so I hope it's ok! Please enjoy!

Part two coming soon

Tagging: @treasuretaeil

Movie night with WayV happened about once a week, usually on the weekends when the boys either had a day off or didn't have to get up so early. Most of the time, you were invited to movie nights because, in Hendery's words, "movie night just isn't complete without mom and dad together!" It, however, had been a while since you had enjoyed movie night with them, having been too busy with work. This weekend, however, you had decided to join them after not so subtle but ridiculously persistent badgering from both your boyfriend and the other members, particularly YangYang.

Kun had texted you earlier in the day and asked if you'd pick up dinner, something you were only slightly surprised at. Typically, Kun cooked and, if you were over, you often cooked together. However, with deadlines and schedules, you weren't surprised that he was a little too tired to cook a huge meal for six bottomless pits. So, after ordering food online and picking it up, you showed up at the door carrying 10 pizza boxes, four two-liter sodas dangling from your arms in plastic bags because you were sure they'd want something besides water.

As you were struggling to ring the doorbell, having no arms left to reach the door knob or fish your keys out of your pocket, the door flew open to reveal a grinning Hendery who looked more interested in the pizza's that your presence.

“Can I-” he didn’t finish his sentence, looking greedily at the boxes.

“Yes,” you said, almost exasperatedly, though you were glad to be free of the burning boxes.

He grinned gleefully and took the boxes from your arms, hurrying into the kitchen where Lucas and YangYang were already waiting, each holding their own plate.

With a small laugh at the antics of the boys you’d come to love, you stepped into the dorm, only to be greeted with arms wrapping around your waist and a small kiss placed upon your lips.

“Hey babe,” Kun said, smiling softly as his eyes washed over your face.

“Do you guys really have to do that in front of us,” Ten whined, making a disgusted face as he grabbed his own plate.

“At least we have the decency to go somewhere else for our extracurricular activities!” Kun retorted.

Ten was notorious for bringing guests back to the dorms and making poor Hendery snuggle with a reluctant Xiaojun in a small bed.

“Not every time,” Sicheng pointed out, his own face morphing into disgust.

You rolled your eyes. One time to Ten’s twenty, that seemed fair.

“It was one time! And we didn’t even do much!” you argued.

“It would have been different if he had been giving you some… special attention! But instead of seeing boobs, we saw the dick we see all the time!” Xiaojun complained.

“Why do you want to see my girlfriend's boobs?!”

“Better question, why is it so normal for them to see your dick?”

“Kun-gi likes to change in front of us!” YangYang yelled, sounding scandalized.

“We all do!”

“Oh my God! Can we just watch the movie and eat?!” Hendery begged.

With that, Kun handed you a plate of food and sat down on the couch, pulling you snuggly into his side as YangYang started the movie.

It was late when the movie finished and Kun insisted you stay the night, something you would have denied if you hadn’t been too exhausted to think.

It wasn’t unnatural for you to stay over, and it wasn’t that you didn’t want to, you quite liked sleeping with Kun. He liked to hold you while he slept, which was part of the problem. You knew you’d be needing to untangle yourself from him at some point early in the morning and, if you intended to keep your secret, you’d have to do so without waking him, which wasn’t an easy thing to do. However, you agreed anyway, letting him lead you to the bedroom he shared with Xiaojun and YangYang. He wrapped his arms around you and, just like that, you were both sound asleep.

And there you were at 5am struggling to remove yourself from Kun’s hold without waking him up as your stomach churned and half-digested pizza threatened to crawl up your throat.

After a struggle that took way too long for someone needing to rush to the bathroom, you finally, successfully, pulled yourself from the bed without waking up your boyfriend, however, the early morning struggles didn’t stop there.

Stumbling through the dark, your feel suddenly got tangled up in a pair of stray shoes (most likely YangYang’s) settled precariously on the carpet, causing you to stumble and nearly lose your balance, catching yourself on the bunk bed.

Cursing, you paused your movements to listen for any wakefulness, swallowing thickly to push down the creeping bile as YangYang simply rolled over and resumed his quiet snores. Surging with relief, you quickly, but quietly, rushed from the room, not noticing a sleepy Xiaojun sitting up, watching you disappear into the hallway.

You stumbled blindly down the dark hallway until finally, you reached the bathroom, dropping to your knees immediately and hurling into the toilet, holding your hair back until someone suddenly appeared behind you, taking your hair in their hands, allowing you to clutch the toilet as your body shook with the force of the retches.

You assumed it was Kun until Ten’s voice met your ears as a hand settled on your back, rubbing soothing circles.

“Let it all out,” he said softly.

You didn’t have time to question his presence as your body shook through a new wave of nausea. His soothing motions didn’t cease, even though you knew he was probably disgusted.

When you finally finished, you weakly reached up to flush down your sick before turning around. Ten helped you settle against the wall as you struggled to catch your bearings. However, when your eyes floated up from the floor, you were met with a tired, but concerned Ten standing near the sink and a sleepy Xiaojun peering in the doorway.

“What are you guys doing up?” you asked, voice hoarse from exertion.

“I was entertaining a guest when I heard someone barrelling down the hall,” Ten explained, turning his attention to the male sleepily leaning against the door.

“When you hit the bunk bed you woke me up,” he explained through a yawn.

“I’m sorry.”

He shook his head and turned his gaze on you, eyes filled with concern.

“Why didn’t you wake up Kun?” Ten asked.

You sighed. You’d have to come clean now, because if not, they’d badger you until you did and then Kun would find out before you were ready.

“I didn’t want him to know yet.”

“Know what?” Xiaojun asked.

One glance at Ten and you could see the gears turning in his head. You simply let your eyes rest on his face, waiting for the question he was working on generating, steeling yourself when he opened his mouth to speak.

“Are you pregnant?”

Out of the corner of your eyes, you saw Xiaojun’s face morph, eyes growing as wide as saucers, lips parting into an ‘O’ at the sudden, accurate question.

You simply nodded before speaking.

“But you’d better not tell him if you both value having dick’s!” you warned. “I already have something planned out and you two better not spill the beans before I have a chance to tell him!”

“We won’t! We won’t!” Ten promised, a giant grin spreading across his face.

“I’m going to be an uncle!” Xiaojun piped.

You rolled your eyes and shifted off the wall to get up when Xiaojun suddenly appeared at your side, half picking you up, eliciting a small yelp from your lips.

“What the hell are you doing?!” you hissed, voice reaching a volume that would likely, accidentally, wake someone else up.

“You have to be careful now! You can’t hurt the baby!” Xiaojun exclaimed as if it should have been obvious.

With a roll of your eyes, you let him continue, crossing your arms over your chest as Ten cackled.

“Looks like you’re going to be dealing with an overprotective Jun!”

You let out a huff but resigned yourself to the fact that this was probably going to be the new normal, at least until you told Kun.

Xiaojun carried you from the bathroom and placed your feet down on the soft carpet of his bedroom floor. He slowly escorted you past YangYang’s shoes to your side of Kun’s bed where he lifted the blankets and tucked you back in. Almost instantaneously, Kun’s arms wrapped around your form, hugging you to his chest.

It was the next morning when the amazing scent of breakfast wafted into the room, stirring you from sleep in the best way possible. You rolled over, feeling Kun’s side empty and threw the blankets off your body, the cool morning bringing goosebumps to your skin.

Slowly, you threw your legs off the side of the bed, letting out a yawn as you scanned the bunk beds across from you, finding both beds empty.

As you stood up, your stomach shifted and grumbled, although you weren’t sure if it could handle Kun’s delicious breakfast.

Still, you made your way from the bedroom, meeting a grinning Lucas outside the room. He was standing outside the door, almost as though he was waiting for you to step out. His grin was a little more than slightly creepy and, as soon as he saw you, he began rocking on the balls of his feet like a puppy getting ready to pounce on its owner, something that wasn’t unusual for Lucas to do.

“Lucas?” you asked cautiously, already bracing yourself for the weight of the gentle giant.

“I wanna be the favorite uncle!”

At his words, you let your arms fall by your sides, a groan rising from your throat.

“I’m going to kill them,” you mumbled. “Which one of the boneheads told you?!”

“Your squeal last night woke me up, and then I heard Ten mumbling how amazing it was walking past my room!”

So your screech had woken people up. Great.

“Who else knows?”

With Lucas knowing, it was only a matter of time before the whole world did. If there was one thing Lucas couldn’t do, it was keep a secret.

“Pretty much everyone except Kun. Xiaojun said you threatened our dick’s if anyone told him.... But with as many hints and YangYang keeps dropping, it’s only a matter of time before he figures it out.”

YangYang. You loved the boy. You really did. He was so precious when he was crawling in bed between you and Kun on the nights nightmares woke him up from sleep. Or when he was crying as his legs cramped painfully. The times when he really showed just how young he was.

However, despite your love for the boy you thought of as a little brother, he truly could be a thorn in your side.

You pushed past Lucas and speed-walked into the kitchen where YangYang was, as Lucas promised, dropping hints.

“I want baby carrots and swaddled pigs in blankets for dinner!” He was saying cheekily.

“That’s a lot! Maybe I can help with that!” you said enthusiastically before grabbing the younger's arms and all but yanking him from the room.

“What?” he asked, as if he had done nothing wrong.

“I swear Yang, if you rob me of the joy of telling him, he’s going to be a dad, I will personally remove your gonads with a rusted spoon!” you hissed,

“Yeah, yeah,” he mumbled, rolling his eyes. “Good luck finding a rusty spoon without searching Jeno’s bedroom.”

You shoved him lightly, glaring at him as he walked back into the kitchen, you hot on his trail.

“Good morning sleepy-head,” Kun greeted, seemingly noticing you for the first time.

He placed a soft kiss on your lips and wrapped an arm around your waist, a greeting you loved but would never get used to.

“That’s exactly the kind of thing that got you into this situation,” Hendery piped.

Kun turned around, arching an eyebrow at the male as you sent Hendery the harshest glare you could muster. He bit down on his lip, trying, and partially failing to hide a sinister smirk.

You were going to end up killing them all if you didn’t tell Kun soon, but you wanted him to find out your own way, not because six boys couldn’t keep a secret!

“Babe? Do you think we could go out today?” you asked.

“Ooooo!” all six boys cooed, nearly in unison.

“Ok, what’s going on?” Kun asked, placing his hands on his hips.

It killed you how perceptive he could be.

“You’ve all been acting funny all morning!”

His tone was sharp and commanding, the kind of tone that sent trembles down your spin and heat rushing to your core with need.

“Oh! He’s using his dad tone! He must be-”

“Yang! Shut up!” you snapped, voice raising as tears gathered in your eyes.

His eyes widened as a tear slipped past your eye, trailing down your cheek.

“Y/N… I’m sorry!”

“Why can’t you guys just accept that I want to tell him in my own way! Stop messing around before he figures it out! Because if he does, I will never forgive any of you!” your voice shook with emotion as you spoke, hands balled into fists at your sides.

You were expecting a snarky comeback about being a crybaby, but no one said anything for a good few seconds before Kun broke the silence by clearing his throat.

“Where did you want to go?” he asked.

“To our special place in the park… for a picnic…”

He smiled and pressed a soft kiss to your head.

“Let’s go back to your place to prepare then,” he said.

With that, you sent one more look at the boys before following Kun back to his room to adorn yourselves in anything other than pjs.

Part of you was reluctant to tell Kun yet, wanting to wait just a little longer, but with the boys’ inability to keep anything held within the confines of secrecy, you knew you couldn’t wait any longer if you wanted to be the one to tell him.

After preparing a nice picnic while Kun was playing with your cat, Kun took your hand and led you to the park where you both had said “I love you” for the first time.

As you reached the grassy area, you separated yourselves from the playground where kids were playing and screaming, finding a nice shady spot near the hiking trail where Kun spread the old purple and brown blanket you’d fished out of your linen closet. You placed the brown wicker basket in the center and sat down on the blanket, pulling your legs in and curling them. Kun sat down beside you, pulling out the plates as you grabbed the plate of premade sandwiches and cucumbers, your heart pounding in your ears.

“So… how do you feel about... sitting on a picnic blanket with… more than just us?”

It was vague, you knew, but you didn’t know how to just come out and tell the truth.

He gave you a puzzled look as he retrieved a sandwich from the plate.

“Like… the boys coming too?” he asked.

Dense. Kun, WayV’s leader. The group's father. So damn dense!

“I mean like… children…?” you mumbled, heart pounding harder.

“I’d love to have children with you one day!”

“What about soon? Like… now?” you asked.

He raised an eyebrow and took a bite of his sandwich, swallowing before replying.

“Are you telling me you want to start trying?”

You sighed, resigning yourself to the fact that Kun was just too dense to get it without you spelling it out for him.

“I’m pregnant,” you whispered finally, the words coming out softly as a weight lifted off your chest.

The truth will set you free.

Kun was silent for a long moment. So long, in fact, that tears of rejection were gathering in your eyes and you prepared yourself for the “it’s not mine” or “I can’t have a baby right now” speech.

However, as you were about to get up and apologize, a huge smile broke out across his face and the next thing you knew, you were being tackled back, back hitting the grass as Kun held himself on top of you, grinning like a madman.

You were too caught up in the moment to care how the moment might have looked to any onlookers. It was none of their business anyway.

“I’m going to be a daddy?” he asked.

Tears of his own were already falling down his cheeks.

You couldn’t bring yourself to speak, your throat choked up from the happiness of his reaction. So instead, you gave a simple nod, your own smile mirroring his.

He rolled over into the grass beside you and pulled you into his arms, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

“I’m going to be a daddy,” he whispered this time, almost as if to assure himself of the fact one more time.

As soon as the words left his lips, your ears were met with a surprisingly on key chorus of “awwww’s,” seeming to come from behind the bushes before a hyperactive Bella was jumping into Kun’s lap, licking his face in delight.

“Wait… why did everyone else find out before me?!”

156 notes · View notes

fific7 · 3 years ago

Text

Ticket to Ride - Part 4

Billy Russo x Reader

A/N: Inspired by The Beatles song of the same name. This takes place in my S1 Punisher AU with Arrogant!Billy in attendance, in which he gets a taste of his own medicine.

Warnings: 18+ NSFW due to sexual content, including oral and unprotected, between consenting adults* in some chapters. Drinking and swearing.

*Irl, please don’t go wild in the country without protection.

(My Photo Edit)

𝔹𝕖𝕗𝕠𝕣𝕖 𝕤𝕙𝕖 𝕘𝕖𝕥𝕤 𝕥𝕠 𝕤𝕒𝕪𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕘𝕠𝕠𝕕𝕓𝕪𝕖

𝕊𝕙𝕖 𝕠𝕦𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕥𝕠 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕜 𝕥𝕨𝕚𝕔𝕖, 𝕤𝕙𝕖 𝕠𝕦𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕥𝕠 𝕕𝕠 𝕣𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕓𝕪 𝕞𝕖

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Billy woke up really early due to light streaming into his room. The sun was coming up. He couldn’t bring himself to close the curtains the previous night - after all, the view was the big thing in this hotel, wasn’t it? He rearranged his pillows so that he could still lie in bed but also tipped his head up enough so he could see the view.

It was too early to go along to her room yet, so he’d laze a little, shower and then he’d go. He hoped that her anger had cooled overnight, as the two of them really had to have a conversation. Not that he was looking forward to that conversation, but he realised that if he wanted to have even an outside chance of getting her back, he had to man up and tell her the truth. He had the distinct feeling that If he only told her part of it - a sanitised version of what had happened - she’d see right through him and that would be that.

He laughed out loud.... god he hadn’t even slept with the woman, but if he’d known the shitstorm that was going to be stirred up by all of this, maybe he should’ve just damn well done it!

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Meanwhile, you sat at the departure gate waiting for the boarding call. You’d always wanted to visit your next destination so while you were sad to leave Barcelona, you felt excited to be on your way.

With a little smile, you thought that the only real regret you had was you wouldn’t be there to see the expression on Billy’s face when he realised you’d skipped town again.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

As soon as he’d had that thought a little voice inside his head had said, if you had then you’d never ever get her back and you know it. Yeah, he did know it. So it was just as well I didn’t, he acknowledged to himself. Some no-strings sex with Madani wasn’t worth wrecking what he’d had with her.

Now he just had to hope that he wasn’t already too late to salvage that.

Billy stepped out onto the 20th floor landing then began walking up the red corridor to her room. He spotted a cleaning cart in the corridor - wait, that wasn’t outside her room, was it? No, it couldn’t be. But he felt a sinking feeling in his stomach the nearer he got.

He came to a halt next to the cart, and looked at the room number on the door for confirmation but he knew it before he even saw it.

She’d run out on him again.

Billy cursed loudly then swung round on his heel and headed back to the lifts. He took his phone out as he walked, hitting a starred number. It rang for a while then a grouchy voice said, “Yeah, what?”

“Micro? Got another job for you.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

After clearing Customs and Passport Control you walked briskly out of the terminal building, following a sign indicating where you needed to go. You were getting more and more impatient to get to the city by the minute, but you knew you had to make sure you picked the correct coloured route, as they went to different destinations.

Standing on the jetty at Marco Polo Airport, you waited patiently along with other passengers for the Alilaguna airport boat to moor alongside it and which would then take you to Venice.

La Serenissima. The city which floats on a lagoon.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Frank listened to what Micro had to say, then exploded. “Oh for fuck’s sake!!! This is gettin’ out of control. Yeah okay, do his search then let me know - not him - what you find out.”

He ended the call and threw his phone onto the bedside table. He’d have to speak to Bill, this was too much.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Billy was in a temper. He threw his clothes and toiletries into his duffel bag and zipped it up viciously. Nothing from Micro yet and he had to check out of his room now. He’d just have to sit in the bar/lounge downstairs and have a drink or two until he did hear back.

An hour and two whiskies later (yes, he’d thought as the barman’s eyebrows raised up at his request, it is damn early for a whisky but you have no idea what I’m going through), Billy was getting more and more impatient. Then his phone buzzed, but hope sank like a stone when he saw it was Frank.

“I guess he called you, then?” Billy said as soon as he answered the call. “Yep,” said Frank, “...he did. And this is the last one, Bill, you hear me?” “It’s not my fault she keeps flyin’ off t’different places!” whined Billy. “It’s your damn fault she took off in the first place, dumbass!” growled Frank and Billy said nothing as he couldn’t argue with that.

“Where’s she gone, Frankie?” he asked after a short silence. “Venice.” “Ah shit!!! Back to the States? Didn’t see that coming.” “Not Venice Beach, Bill... Venice, Italy.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You settled yourself onto the wooden bench inside the vaporetto which would take you on the short hop across the wide Giudecca Canal from Palanca to Zattere. Vaporetti were the Venetian equivalent of public transport but a hugely more pleasurable experience. What would you rather hop on - a bus or a ferry? Yeah, definitely a ferry! You’d decided to stay on Giudecca instead of the main islands as it had a calmer, more relaxed vibe and tourists were much less in evidence.

Karen had texted you as you were getting unpacked in your small but cute room. Your hotel was surrounded by residential gardens and a narrow canal on one side; when you went out onto the large balcony, all you could hear was birdsong and the church bells of Venice. It was heavenly.

But Karen’s text had brought you down somewhat; Billy was on your track again. He’d been told by Frank that they weren’t going to help him out any longer, but you weren’t convinced that would put him off. Billy was the most stubborn sonuvabitch you’d ever met. Looking out the vaporetto windows, you saw a majestic tall ship making its way imperiously up the canal followed by a small tug like a lady in waiting, and wondered where it was sailing off to.

Sighing, you gathered up your bag as the vaporetto docked at Zattere and prepared to disembark. Maybe it was time to just sit down and have ‘that talk’ with him.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Billy, meanwhile, was waiting impatiently for his flight to start boarding in Barcelona airport. He just had to pin her down this time. No more escaping him and the talk they had to have.

He marvelled at the fact that in Europe, you were never really that far from your next destination. Here he was in Spain and in less than two hours’ time, he’d be in Italy. He’d bought a travel guide to Venice in one of the airport stores and settled down to read it.

Frank had given him the name and location of her hotel, somewhere called Giudecca. He didn’t have the first fucking clue as to where that was, so he’d better find out and quickly. Okay…. here was a map. Venice seemed to be divided into six sestiere or areas… hmmm no mention of Giudecca. Oh right, here it was, a large island out on its own across the Giudecca Canal from Venice.

He pinpointed the hotel on the map and felt a lot more relaxed.

I know where you are now, kitten.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Escaping from the crowd of tourists in Piazza San Marco into the relative peace of Caffé Florian, you sat down and ordered a horribly expensive cappuccino and pastry from the impassive waiter. But it was worth it just to soak up the historical atmosphere. You looked round the opulently decorated and gilded interior and opened up your guide book; it had opened in 1720 and scores of famous faces had passed through its doors or listened to its musicians outside. Wow - Casanova, Lord Byron, Charles Dickens, Ernest Hemingway, Charlie Chaplin, Clark Gable, Andy Warhol. The list went on and on.

Coffee finished, you wandered out of Florian’s and back along the Piazetta next to the Doge’s Palace. There was an arched bridge - the Ponte della Paglia - on the waterfront from which you could see the world-famous Bridge of Sighs, and you joined the huddle of tourists at the top of the bridge to eventually make it to the front and take a picture of it. Your guide book told you the bridge was so called because after their trials, condemned prisoners would be taken from the Doge’s Palace over the small canal at its side to the prison, and their last sight of Venice would be from the bridge. Hence the ‘sighs’.

Next, you walked along to the Arsenale, the huge historical shipyard where Venice had built her vast number of ships which had enabled her to have a huge trading empire. It had been said that they’d been able to construct a fully equipped warship in one day. But that was long in the past, you thought as you looked at an array of stone lion statues outside its main entrance and a bust of Dante set onto the wall.

Turning away, you headed to the vaporetto stop of the same name and waited for the Line 1 vaporetto to arrive and take you on a sail up the Grand Canal.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Yet again, Billy was in a bad mood. After a couple of false starts, he’d eventually managed to make his way onto the correct Alilaguna boat at Marco Polo and had alighted at Zitelle on Giudecca.

But now here he was - walking backwards and forwards, backwards and forwards - along the waterfront, trying to find out where this damn fucking hotel was. He just couldn’t find it! Where the hell was it?

Billy spotted a guy around his own age walking towards him and stepped in front of him, asking politely in English if he could help him find this hotel. A stream of Italian burst forth and the guy must’ve realised that Billy didn’t understand one word, as he then took his arm and pulled him along the waterfront a little. He stopped and gestured towards one of the narrowest damn alleyways Billy had ever seen, quite near the vaporetto stop.

He thanked the guy effusively and set off up the alleyway. There were peoples’ houses on each side of it and he tried not to be too nosy as he walked past them. But echoing within the walls of the alley he could hear voices, children’s laughter, a football match on a TV, a dog barking… talk about living on top of each other. He wasn’t sure he could live like that but then it just depended on what you were used to, he supposed.

Arriving in a small open area leading to a canal and a bridge over it - Corte Ferrando, he saw on a sign - he found the Giudecca Hotel right on the corner next to the canal. At last!!!

Walking in to the small but light and airy reception area, he dumped his bag next to reception and asked the guy behind the desk if he could book a room. “Certainly, signore, how many nights would that be for?” Billy shrugged, saying, “I’ll make it for two nights for now, but maybe I’ll need to extend that, I’m not sure.” “That is no problem. Can I have your passport please, signore?”

Billy handed it over, thinking as he did, going by her recent history it might be only the one night!

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You stepped off the vaporetto at Rialto. Well, you just had to walk over the famous bridge and be a total tourist didn’t you, stopping to take a picture looking back down the Grand Canal. You’d gazed at all the big palazzi lining the waterway as the vaporetto zig-zagged its way between all the stops on the canal. They were certainly impressive, but they also had a faded, melancholic air about them.

Some of them had been converted into museums, some rented out on long or short-term leases by their owners, or they were now owned by foreigners who only stayed in them for a handful of weeks each year. When the festivals were taking place… Carnevale, the Biennale, the Film Festival. The rest of the year they lay empty and lonely, no doubt steeped in dreams of the lavish masked balls and elegant dinner parties from centuries past, while the noble Venetian families who used to own them lived in modern condos in Mestre on the mainland, no longer in their beloved Venezia. How sad, you thought.

Heading back to the vaporetto stop, you decided you’d go to Accademia, have a look round the art gallery, visit the huge and famous church Santa Maria della Salute and then wander round the artisan shops in Dorsoduro, perhaps have a glass of vino in one of the cute little wine bars.

You were determined to make this afternoon and evening last for as long as you could. Billy would no doubt be waiting for you when you got back to Giudecca.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

The man himself hadn’t even bothered unpacking this time, just in case. He’d had a quick shower and then had taken a short stroll around the local area. He noticed very few tourists and decided this was why she’d chosen it. He knew she’d prefer to sample the local life more than the tourist traps.

Not wanting to spend too much time away from the hotel, he made his way back and sat outside on the lone park bench in the courtyard area. He started running over in his mind what he was going to say to her, to be honest he still wasn’t sure how to frame it so that she wouldn’t go ballistic.

His stomach knotted. Who was he kidding? Of course she was going to go ballistic! He was about to admit he’d made out on more than one occasion with another woman. And irrespective of the fact that it had been strictly business from his point of view, his girl was not going to be the least bit impressed with him.

Fuck, I’ve really screwed this up, he allowed himself to think for the first time. He’d made his brain block out this uncomfortable thought what with all the chasing after her in the previous few days. He’d been telling himself over and over that everything would all be alright.

But now he thought… would it? Would it really?

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Returning on the vaporetto to Palanca, you felt yourself starting to tense up. You knew Billy would either have arrived by now or would very shortly.

Whatever he had to say to to you, you knew you weren’t going to like it. The evidence was too strong that he’d been cheating on you and you weren’t going to let him off the hook for that. The problem was, you loved the stupid douchebag. But how could you trust him now, after he’d been seeing another woman? In some ways, it was worse that it was just the one. And you were sure it was just one, if the perfume evidence was anything to go by. It would almost have been better if he’d gone back to his old tom-catting ways, quantity over quality to coin Frank’s phrase. Your stomach twisted as you remembered him saying to you that at last Billy had reversed that equation when he got with you. But if he was seeing just the one? That was bad.

You began walking up the alleyway and as you reached the open area, you saw a figure sitting on the park bench, the back of a dark head. Billy.

Squaring your shoulders and feeling as if you were about to go into battle, you walked steadily towards him.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Venice

(My Photos/video 3 & 7 / June 2012 & 2016)

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

@blackbirddaredevil23 @theshadowkingsqueen @omgrachwrites @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @ourloveisforthelovely @swthxrry @odetostep @supernaturalcat7 @obscurilicious @strawb3rrydr3ss @bruxa0007 @aleksanderwh0r3 @bat-luna-cat

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

#billy russo #ben barnes #billy russo x reader #billy russo fanfiction #billy russo imagine #billy russo fanfic

101 notes · View notes

morosemagick · 4 years ago

Text

On Your Lips, Like a Prayer | Sihtric x Reader One Shot

Warning: References to Suicide, Minor Character Death

Words: 4449

Tagged:

@solinarimoon @emilyhufflepufftlk @magravenwrites @obipoelover @thebohemianpenguin @ivarinleatherpants

You remember falling.

Through the sky. Into a river. Drowning. They could’ve been dreams or your imagination or may you’re hell because when you wake up you don’t recognize the place you’ve found yourself in. The first thing you try to do when you wake is reach for your phone... until you remember you didn’t have it. What you had done, you had done with nothing on you. You didn’t want to be found or recognized. The plan was to scrub yourself from the pages of history. Yet from what you are told by the man and his daughter; who found you in the river half dead, it seems you did the far opposite.

Instead of erasing yourself from history, you’ve fallen through it.

And that was six months ago.

They believe you to have amnesia from the accident, but you remember every detail of what happened. It’s the ninth century from what you gathered. From what you remember from taking history in school, King Alfred the Great is the King of Wessex, but you are in Mercia. Who is ruled by Lord Ceowolf? You’re unsure. Everything you’ve known is gone or rather has yet to be. You have no idea how you’ve gotten here and you want out. So in a moment of foolishness, you try to redo what you did to send yourself back but instead you wind up stuck in their beds again for a month with a broken leg. It’s hard to run after you do that, and now you know without a doubt in your mind that you’re stuck. You cry about it for weeks, and the family who found you doesn’t understand why. You can’t tell anyone, because you’re certain they’ll set you on fire if you tell them.

Because you… you are from the future.

————————————<3—————————————

You’ve been here for a year now. Osmund and his daughter, Mildryd, are kind and loving people. They treat you like family, with love and respect. This place becomes your home and they teach you all the skills you’d need to survive these times. You learned about farming, rank etiquette, and all other manners you would need to blend into your surroundings. Soon enough, you embraced this world as your own. Not that you had a choice because every day it became more clear that this was not a dream and you were indeed stuck here.

Also, you had no desire to repeat what you did to get here in the first place… again.

“Lynne? Lynne, where are you?” You can hear Osmund call out to you. Lynne was what they called you here. It meant waterfall, from what you understood.

Which made sense, because that’s where they found you... At the bottom of a waterfall.

You come out from the stables, where you’ve just finished brushing the horses with a smile on your face, “Right here, Osmund. Everything alright?”

“I sent Mildryd into town to get grain but I didn’t realize she didn’t bring water in for the goats,” He tells you as he wipes the sweat from his face with a rag, “I hate to pass on her chores, but you know my daughter-”

“She’ll be flirting with the trader for a while,” You chuckle. Mildryd fancied the boy a lot and hopes he’d ask her father for her hand in marriage soon. She was young and full of life, the opposite of you if you were honest with yourself. You envied her spirit, “I’ll go to the river.”

“Thank you, Lynne,” The older man smiled, “You’re an angel.”

You only smile as a response. They show you so much love and part of you feels like you don't deserve it. Still, you grab your bucks and head down to the river, which is quite a walk away, to fetch some water as requested. It's beautiful here, and perhaps taking a moment to stand there and admire its beauty will be one of the moments you will grow to regret for the rest of your life because by the time you turn back to return to the farm you can see smoke.

You drop both buckets to the ground and run as fast as your post-broken leg body can take you, but you're too late.

A sob breaks from your lips as you walk through the ruins of Osmund's home. His body lays blood and lifeless on the floor, the sword he carries still in its sheath. You take the weapon from him, belt and all, and tie it around your waist. Leaving the house, you head into the rest of the small village you call yours in search of the man's daughter.

The rest of the village is no better than Osmund's home. Everyone is dead, from what you can tell, and your expectations for finding Mildryd are lowering by the second.

When you find her, she's holding on to her final breath, and her body covered by the trader she loved so much.

"Mildryd," You call to her with tears in her eyes, "Mildryd… who did this to you?"

"It… it was the Danes," She coughs and blood comes up, tears flowing down her cheeks, "Is.. my father-"

She dies before she can finish the sentence, and you sob over her dead body.

The time you get to mourn is cut short by a voice calling out from behind you, “Lord! A survivor!”

From the accent in his voice, you can tell he must be a Dane, and you ready yourself to face with your hand on the hilt of your sword. It’s heavy, and you haven’t had much practice but the one thing you have plenty of right now is rage. Rising to your feet, you pull out your sword and swing it without care as you turn around but the Dane behind you is quicker. He bobs and weaves his upper half to avoid your aimless swings and pulls out a blade of his own.

It does not take him long to disarm you, your sword dropping to the ground with a clang.

“Just kill me already,” You tell him as you lower your eyes to the ground, trying not to cry in front of him, “Please! Get on with it-”

“I don’t desire to kill you, Lady,” The Dane tells you, his voice softer than anticipated, and you open your eyes to see him put his sword away. He picks up your sword, and then lends out a hand to help you to your feet, “I am sorry to have startled you.”

You are hesitant to take his hand, but you do so anyway.

It’s his eyes; one blue and the other brown, they are mesmerizing and all but command you to trust him.

“Sihtric?” Another man calls out to him, this one also dressed like a Dane but something about him looks Saxon… like the others you’ve grown to know, “Who is this?”

The one you trust, Sihtric, turns to face you and they stare for a moment as they await your name, “I am-” You almost use your real name, but you stop yourself and continue again. Hoping they don’t notice, “I am Lynne, Lord.”

“This is your village?” He asks you.

“Was,” You replied looking back at Mildryd’s dead body behind you, “They killed my family…”

“Did you see the raiders who attacked this place?” The man asked and you shook your head no.

“My… my sister, she told me it was the Danes,” You glance between the two men, watching for their reactions, “That was all she said before she died.”

“Lord?” Another voice calls out, this one with an Irish accent, and from the side, another man appears followed by one much taller than he is, “There is no one else. If they had survivors, they must have taken them.”

The Lord sighs, and puts away his weapon, “Do you have somewhere to go, Lynne? Family somewhere else in Mercia, perhaps?”

You look between the men who surround you and shake your head no, “This was my only family, Lord. I have no one.”

“We can take her with us to Coccham, Uhtred,” The Irishman starts to say, but you are quick to jump in.

“I am not a slave!” You snap as you reach for your sword, forgetting you no longer have it.

“Nor do we wish you to be, Lady,” The one named Uhtred replies, “You will be safe in Coccham, should you choose to follow us. I am the Ealdorman there, we shall find someone to take you in.”

You nod okay, knowing you don’t have any other choice, “Thank you.”

Uhtred and his men start to walk away, and when you step to follow them your bad leg gives in and you start to fall. Luckily, Sihtric is there to catch you.

“Are you hurt, Lady?” He asks you as you wince.

He helps you straighten yourself upright, and you take a deep breath, “I broke it, six months ago,” You explain to Sihtric as he tries to help you walk, “It still feels weak some days. Just… give me a moment.”

“Should I carry you?” He asks and you blush as you furiously shake your head no.

“No, no,” You chuckle shyly as you attempt to walk again, “I can walk. I just need to go slow.”

Sihtric smiles lightly, and it brings you peace, “We’ll go your speed then.”

You nod okay, and together you walk slowly out of the village that was once your home.

————————————<3—————————————

Lord Uhtred finds you work as a stable hand in Coccham. The owners of the stable is an older couple whose children have moved away with their own families, and they are more than pleased to let you stay with them. After a few months of being in Coccham, you find yourself growing to like the place. It’s a booming town, and the people who live here all seem to be grateful for their half Dane half Saxon Lord for keeping them safe and prospering. About six months into living here, Lord Uhtred puts you personally in charge of his horse, as well as the horses of the rest of his men. The old couple tells you it’s a privilege for the Ealdorman to hold you in such regard.

You wonder why they seem to like you so much.

When you aren’t working you find yourself in the company of Lord Uthred’s men. There is Finan, his cheeky, Irish right-hand man. He’s a flirt and a tease, but you find him harmless and kind. Then their Clapa, the large bear-like Dane. He’s quiet but courteous. Last, but certainly not least, there is Sihtric. You never expected to like him as much as you do, but he makes you laugh and smile and feel like maybe you survived that fall for a reason. He visits you frequently at the stables and he tells you it’s to make sure you aren’t overworking your leg.

Part of you wonders if there is an ulterior motive for his visits.

Not that he needs one to visit you. You enjoy Sihtric’s visits probably much more than he did. So part of you finds it ironic when those around you weren’t fond of you spending so much time with a Dane. Their Lord was a Dane, too, after all.

“That Dane boy,” The stable owner, Cedric, started to say one day, “Does he bother you?”

You glance his way as you brush Lord Uhtred’s horse, readying all his warriors’ horses for their departure, “Not at all,” You tell Cedric, “Sihtric is kind.”

“You are of marriage age, Lynne,” Cedric tells you as he brings over a saddle for the horse, “Perhaps we should help find you a husband. I know some young eligible men. Hard workers,” he starts to say, and you know what’s about to come out of his mouth next before he can even say it, “Good Christians.”

“I’m not looking for a husband,” You tell him with frustration as you take the saddle from his hands and place it on top of Uhtred’s horse.

“My wife and I are only getting older, Lynne,” The old man tells you, and you keep your eyes away to prevent yourself from making a face, “It is not good for a Lady of your age to be unwed. This is your prime. You should be having children, starting a family.”

Part of you is ready to tell the old man off, but before you can say anything a familiar voice interrupts the conversation, “Cedric, Lynne! How are our horses?”

“Lord Uhtred,” Cedric smiles, and you can’t help but hate how hypocritical he is, “They are almost ready, Lynne ready the other saddles please.”

You nod at the two men and make yourself scarce as you go to prep the other horse. Your first stop is to Finan’s horse; because you know the mare can be fickle some days, and as you reach down to pick her saddle, you don’t see Finan and Sihtric sneak up behind you.

“Lynne!” Finan all but shouts, giving you a fright and making you drop the saddle to the floor.

“I swear to God, Finan, one would think you are the heathen and not Sihtric,” You scold with your hand over your heart as the two men laugh.

“We are only teasing, Lynne, I swear,” Finan tells you as he picks up the saddle you’ve dropped.

Sihtric leans up against a post and nudges you with his elbow, “Cedric does not push you too much, does he?”

“No, he does not,” You tell Sihtric as you go to ready his horse, but he stops you, carefully taking the saddle from your hands, “I do not need your help, Sihtric.”

“I want to help,” He tells you with a smile, and you can’t help but smile wider.

“She says she doesn’t need your help, Sihtric,” Finan teases from close by, and you both blush, momentarily forgetting he was there, “Hate to ruin the moment, but we need to get goin’.”

“Where are you riding for?” You ask them as you stand back and let the men finish readying their own horses.

“Mercia,” Sihtric tells you and a small part of you feels anxious, “Dane’s have taken Lundene."

“And King Alfred has decided he does need Uhtred, after all,” Finan chuckles and Sihtric smirks, but both of their calm demeanors don’t make you feel any better, “Don’t you worry, Lynne, we’ll be home before you know it.”

Finan passes by, rubbing your shoulder as he goes, and then leaves you alone with Sihtric. You sigh, folding your arms over your chest, “Be careful out there, okay?”

Sihtric chuckles as he takes a step closer to you, “Will you pray to your God for my return?”

“You know I don’t pray,” You lie with a smirk. You pray every single time Uhtred and his warriors leave, and you do so every night till they return. Reaching into your pocket, you pull out a thin gold cross on a blue, beaded string. It’s the only thing you own, from before, and you hand it to Sihtric with a weak smile on your face, “But just in case.”

He takes it from your hand so slow, the feeling of his fingertips lingering even after they are gone, “I will take good care of it.” Sihtric pulls you closer by the back of your head and kisses your temple as he moves around you.

Your cheeks stay a rosy color even long after he is gone.

————————————<3—————————————

They are back sooner than expected.

Or at least, that is what you hear when the crowd gathers to greet their returning warriors. You overhear the Lady of Coccham, Uhtred’s wife Gisela, make mention of returning too quickly for men holding a city under siege. Lord Uhtred is the first to walk through Coccham’s gates, looking surprisingly clean for a man coming from war, then Finan comes in close behind him… and then-

Wait.

You feel your heart pick up its pace when you realize Sihtric is not with them and for a moment you find it hard to breathe. As the crowd lets its lord through, and Uhtred and his men reach the stables, you rush over as fast as your legs can take you to meet them. You feel your bad leg ready to give up as you reach the stables, but this time Finan is there to catch you.

“Slow down, Lynne, you nearly killed yourself,” Finan tells you as he holds you steady with one hand.

“Where...,” You start speaking but you can't, instead you’re huffing and puffing trying to catch your breath, “Where is Sihtric?”

Finan sighs, wiping at his mouth with his free hand, “You’re not gonna be happy, Lynne.”

You try really hard not to cry as he explains to you what has happened at Lundene and how the King’s daughter has been possibly taken as prisoner. In fact, you do relatively well at holding it all in and keeping yourself together for most of his explanation. That is… until he gets to the part where Lord Uhtred has sent Sihtric and another warrior named Rypere to Beamfleot to spy, and you suddenly forget how to breathe again. You go to reach for your cross in your pocket until you remember you’ve given it to Sihtric for good luck and almost immediately you begin to cry.

“Lynne,” Finan puts his hand on your shoulder as you sob, covering your face with your hands, “Lynne, he’s coming home… okay? Sihtric is good at what he does. The best spy we have, and I know he’s got a good reason to come home in one piece.”

You shake your head okay, and furiously wipe away all your tears away the best you can, “How long do you think he’ll be gone?”

“I cannot say for certain,” Finan shrugs, “But he is coming home, I promise.”

Finan’s words only give you some reassurance and you spend the next few days feeling absolutely miserable. You continue on with your workdays with the best fake smile you can muster, and at night you find yourself at Church. Usually, you pray in your room, partially because you feel like you aren’t really doing it right and you feel too embarrassed to pray in public. You weren’t a very religious person before, but now that you are here in this church, you pray to every God you can think of that Sihtric comes home safely.

“Lady?” A voice from behind you calls, and you jump to your feet in a moment of fear. You weren’t expecting anyone else to come to the Church that night, coming late enough in the night to certainly be alone for as long as you wish, “I am sorry, I did not mean to startle you.”

His words remind you of the first time you met Sihtric, and you can't help but smile.

“It’s okay, I’ve just been… jumpy, lately.” You tell him as you sit back down on the bench, “I haven’t lived in Coccham for long, but I know I don’t recognize your face.”

“Ah, yes,” His smile is kind as he joins you at the bench, “I am Osferth, Lady. May I join you?”

“Of course, Osferth,” You smile back the best you can, but you’re tired and it’s late so it’s hard to put on your usual fake face.

Osferth takes his seat next to you, making sure not to get too close, and keeps his eyes on the altar ahead of you, “What are we praying for?” He asks, glancing your way.

“My-” You paused, not knowing what to call him. Your friend didn’t sound like a good enough way to explain what he meant to you, and you definitely didn’t think of him as a brother. So you go with this, “My family. Someone very important to me has been sent away on a dangerous mission for Lord Uhtred.”

"If he is a warrior for Lord Uhtred, he must be very brave," he tells you, reassuringly

"Only a special kind of warrior is lucky enough to serve a Lord like Uhtred," You agree with him, "And I have been told Sihtric is good at what he does, but I can't help but worry."

"Has prayer helped?" Osferth asks you and you look his way with a chuckle.

"Not at all," You tell him, and you both laugh.

"Sometimes it is hard to have faith in something we don't see," Osferth tells you as he looks forward again, "I try to put my faith in people. Lord Uhtred is a good warrior. So are his men. Having Faith in them… it's much easier."

So that's what you. You put your Faith in Uhtred and all of his men that will do whatever it takes to bring each other home.

————————————<3—————————————

More time has passed.

Rypere eventually returned to Coccham, and with his arrival, Uhtred and his men rode for Winchester to bring his findings to the King. You hear that men are sent to Beamfleot to bargain for the Princesses return. They are gone for a long time, longer than you anticipated. The days that pass make you increasingly more anxious.

You don't want to say your faith in Uhtred and his warriors is wavering but… it hasn't been as strong as you hoped it to be.

Cedric and his wife have been pushing the marriage thing. They aren't your parents so they can't just sell you off, luckily for you, but it's gotten annoying just how many single men they've tried to introduce you to in the last month.

None of them are Sihtric, so you do not care.

You're in the Church again one night, and you've been there longer than you wanted due to your bad leg. It's been aching something fierce in the past few days, and you think maybe you have been overwhelming yourself. You can't help but smile at the idea of Sihtric yelling at you to take it easy, and just as quickly as the memory comes to you so do the tears that start to cloud your eyes.

"You lied to me, Lynne," That familiar voice you've been hearing in your head speaks out loud, and you gasp when you turn around to find Sihtric standing behind you, "You said you do not pray for me."

You chuckle as the tears fall from your face and your lips curl up into a smile, "You're all I pray for." It stings to stand, but you push through the pain anyway and rush to greet him.

Sihtric catches you as you jump into his arms, and the two of you stumble back until he falls to the floor with you in his arms, "You need to be more careful," He smirks as he moves a hand to your cheek, "What would the people say if they see us in the church like this?"

"To hell with people," You laugh as you wrap your arms around his neck and pull him in for a kiss. Sihtrics' free hand pulls your body closer as you sit there on the floor of the church, all but devouring each other with each kiss.

"Let me carry you home," Sihtric tells you when he breaks the kiss, and you nod okay. He moves to stand, taking you in his arms as he rises. Making sure to be careful with your bed leg.

Being like this makes you feel so safe. So loved.

You giggle and kiss his neck as he carries you back to his house, and whispers things in your ear that send shivers down your spine all the way back to his house. Your sure people saw him carry you, and they are more than likely to gossip about you but you don't care.

You've never felt more alive than you do right now.

Sihtric lays you carefully in his bed, his lips reconnecting with yours as he hovers above you. He tastes sweet and your heart is racing in anticipation of what is going to happen next.

That is until you hear him moan out that name.

"Lynne," He starts to say as he breaks the kiss, "Lynne, I-"

"Wait!" You cut Sihtric off with a finger to his lips, "Before you say it, there is something else I've been lying about," Sihtric raises a brow and you take a deep breath, "My name is not Lynne."

You expect a poor reaction, but instead, Sihtric smirks, "That doesn't surprise me."

"Really?"

"Yes," He tells you as he places a kiss on your lips, "The day we met, you stuttered when you told Uhtred your name." You chuckle at the fact that he remembers that, and his smile is soft, "So tell me, what is the real name of the woman who has stolen my heart?"

Your smile is wide when you get to finally speak your real name out loud for the first time in almost two years, "My name is Y/N."

Sihtric smiles, leaning in to kiss you again, "Well, Y/N," another kiss, and then another, "It is nice to truly meet you," one more kiss, and then he leans up a bit and you can see the smirk on his face, "Is it too soon to say that I love you?"

You shake your head no as the tears come back to you, "Not at all."

"Good," Sihtric replies as he leans his forehead against yours, "I love you, Y/N."

Sihtric whispers those words for what feels like a hundred times that night. He whispers it as he strips you out of your clothes and as you remove his. It comes out as a moan when he slips himself inside of you, and it sounds like a prayer on his lips as he chants it in your ear as you reach your climax with your back arched and his lips on your neck. And it's the last thing you hear when Sihtric reminds you one more time before bed.

A few months later on the two year anniversary of you finding yourself here, on this page of history, Sihtric tells you he loves you again when the two of you return to the place where Osmund and Mildryd found you, and you tell him all about what brought you to this world. You can't help but feel this is where you were meant to be when Sihtric tells you he prayed for you, too.

For someone who could love him, more than he could himself.

It seems… you were exactly what the other was looking for.

#sihtric x reader #sihtric #the last kingdom #sihtric kjartansson #fanfiction #fanfic #mcloveproductions #tlk sihtric #tlk

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vvitchering · 4 years ago

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32. “I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified.” for bobadin?

This is my first time writing for this ship and my second time writing Boba so I am FEAR (TM) but I think I actually like the way this came out?????

~ It’s been a month and a half since the beroya had come to stay at the palace. Six since the loss of his child and his creed. Boba doesn’t like to think about what Din had been doing to himself in the time between handing his son over to the jetii and when Boba had finally managed to track him down halfway across the galaxy. He hadn’t known Din long at that point, but anyone could have seen the defeat and hopelessness in his posture and demeanor.

If Boba had taken any longer to find him, he isn’t sure there would have been much left to find.

Given purpose once again as a hunter and personal guard for the usurper king of Tattooine, Din is flourishing. Now, Boba counts on him almost as much as he does on Shand. She may be his right hand, but Din is as close to clan, aliit, as either of them are going to get and that means something to Boba. They’re both orphans, survivors from a scattered culture; and in every word of mando’a they speak to each other, every nostalgic smile, every instance of innate understanding, they grow a little closer.

Things have been going well, possibly too well, suspiciously well. So while it isn’t a complete shock when Din begins to pull away again, it still hurts. They haven’t shared a meal in days. The mats laid out for combat practice have gone unused. Din hovers at the edge of Boba’s vision when he absolutely must make an appearance and he all but evaporates like a desert breeze the second he’s no longer needed.

Din begins to stay out on hunts for longer stretches of time. He reports the relevant details on his return and disappears again until he’s summoned. His absence burns like acid but Boba tries to give him his space. He doesn’t know what he’s done to offend the man, but it’s clear there’s been a shift in their relationship and if he doesn’t want to lose the wayward beroya yet again, he’s going to have to do something soon.

He gets his chance one afternoon after he’s yelled at his court to disperse and he’s made his way to the chambers they use for exercise and weapon storage. Din is already there, moving through his forms, beskar spear in hand. His movements grow stiff and unnatural the moment he realizes he has company and Boba feels the last of his restraint snap.

“Do you have some issue with me all of a sudden?” he asks. Din flinches like he’s been struck.

“Have I offended you in some way? Made you feel uncomfortable or unwelcome?”

Din fidgets with the spear and shifts his weight from foot to foot as if he’s debating making a break for it. Boba frowns. He’s never pressured Din to go helmetless, he knows he finds a certain kind of comfort and familiarity in keeping that part of himself intact, but he finds himself wishing for the umpteenth time that Din trusted him enough to remove it in his company.

Right now, it feels like just another impenetrable barrier between them.

“No, it’s not that.” Din finally responds, tilting his head as he speaks in that curious way of his.

Boba moves closer, motioning for Din to continue. They’re having this discussion, no matter how much Din looks like he’d rather take off running. Whatever he’s hiding, it’s hurting them both and Boba can’t, won’t, stand for it any longer. He’s come to value Din’s companionship in a way he’s quickly realizing is frighteningly irreplaceable. The thought of losing it permanently sends cold shivers up and down his spine in a way nothing else ever has.

Boba sets his jaw. Despite the avoidance techniques Din has been favoring lately, he is still Mandalorian, as is Boba. They will clean the air as their kind have done for centuries.

Boba lunges.

The attack catches Din completely off guard and they fall to the mat covered floor with a muffled clatter. Din loses his grip on the spear and it rolls away out of his reach. He struggles under Boba’s weight in a weak attempt to avoid being pinned down, but Boba has him just where he wants him. He leans almost his full weight onto Din’s chest, keeping him down, and presses his forearm into Din’s throat. He takes care not to press too hard; he wants to subdue and restrain, not hurt.

Din inhales raggedly but goes obligingly limp, unwilling to fight back. It’s like the fire that they’ve both worked so hard to kindle has left him again. Cold fear zings through Boba, mingling with the adrenaline from their short lived tussle and he feels sick to his stomach as he realizes this might be the last time he’s allowed this close to Din.

“Tell me. Please.” He begs. And it is begging. How far the mighty Boba Fett has fallen, pleading with a no-name beroya from some backwater covert for forgiveness for some unknown slight. He’d fall even further if it meant he could keep Din by his side just a little longer.

He can’t see Din’s eyes behind the dark of his visor, but he can feel the strength of his gaze. He can feel him tense again beneath him as he registers Boba’s pathetic pleading. There’s a moment of complete stillness before the world tilts and Boba gasps for breath as Din manages to swap their positions and slams him into the ground. It’s not gentle. There’s force in his movements, real intent, and Boba would sigh in relief if he hadn’t just had the air mercilessly knocked from his lungs.

“I have lost everything in my life that mattered to me,” Din begins, and his normally calm voice is edged in steel. “My home. My family, twice over. Everything I had left fit inside a storage locker in my ship and that’s gone, too.”

“You’re not the only one who’s lost things, Din.” Boba reminds him gently.

Din laughs miserably. He’s shaking slightly, Boba can feel the tremors where Din is pressed against him.

“Sometimes I think I’m cursed.” Din says quietly. “I never get to keep anything important. My creed, my ship, the kid, everything I loved...” He trails off, viciously biting off what sounds like the beginning of a sob.

Din’s hold on Boba loosens significantly as he falls apart and Boba takes the opportunity to grasp at Din’s wrists, gripping them lightly but securely. He’s not great with words and even less so with comfort, but he can do this at least. He can anchor Din, help him weather the storm he’s fighting through, and see him safely back to shore.

“I pulled away because I thought if I ended this myself before it turned into anything it might hurt less than waiting for something to come along and end it for me. Cut something out of my life on my own terms for once, you know? Couldn’t do it, though.”

“Din--”

“Ne’johaa, I’m not finished.”

Boba swallows his interruption and stares up at Din pointedly.

Go on. Get to the point of all this.

Din takes a measured breath and then lets it go.

“I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified. I don’t want you to be another thing I lose. I won’t survive it. Not again.”

“Oh. Is that all?”

“Is that all...Boba--”

“Now it’s your turn to shut up. C’mere.”

Boba shifts his grip to hold Din by the forearm with one hand while the other slides up over Din’s shoulder to pull him down by neck. Their helmets clink together at their foreheads and the sound echoes through the chamber. Din makes a short shocked sound and throws his free hand down beside Boba’s head to support himself but makes no attempt to pull away.

“I’ve lived through far more than my fair share of hardship in this life. You don’t get to look like I do without having survived some absolute shit situations.”

They’re separated by the metal of their helmets, but Boba would swear he can feel Din’s warmth seeping through.

“If this is something you want to pursue,” he continues, “I’m amenable to that. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere any time soon, verd’ika.”

Din makes a strange wheezing noise somewhere between a sob and a laugh and sniffs loudly before collapsing slowly on top of Boba in an exhausted but relieved heap.

“Not that I’m not enjoying you sprawled out on top of me like this, but do you think we could relocate to a more comfortable surface? A training mat isn’t exactly an ideal place for a cuddle.”

“Trying to get me into bed already? You’re shameless.” Din laughs, clear and true, and it’s the sweetest sound Boba has heard in a long time.

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this, do a writer a favor and reblog! Likes are nice, but they don’t get this story out there for more people to see. I’m also toying with the idea of putting this one up on my ao3. Thoughts?

mando’a words beroya - hunter Ne’johaa - shut up verd’ika - literally “little soldier”, used here as an affectionately insulting term of endearment as its usually used for little kids

(I really like Mando’a as a language, I think its fascinating, and writing a ship that consists of two Mandalorians gives me the perfect excuse to WAY over use it because I barely ever get to. I apologize for NOTHING. I wasn’t expecting this to be so long. I’m fully planning on coming back to this when I have fresh eyes and revising and editing some parts where the pacing feels a little off!)

#bobadin #the mandalorian #mine #my fic #this is actually full fic length not a drabble OOPS #its almost 1500 words fhsjkfhdskjl #I got Slightly carried away #turns out I really like writing this ship #jury's out on whether this is actually any good but I can say I actually did have fun writing it which is an accomplishment all on its own #also all my characterization for boba comes from the mandalorian pls don't come for me #I wasn't planning on it ending up this long so I didn't do a whole lot of editing before I just slapped it up here #if I do decide to put it up on ao3 I'll probably polish this up a bit more and maybe flesh out a few spots a bit better #I struggle with pacing if you can't tell lmao

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xxdragonwriterxx · 4 years ago

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Hi! how about one where Levi and his fem s/o sleep together for the first time and reader finds out that Levi sleep talking about how much he loves her and that he's very lucky to have her in his life. The next morning when they wake up reader teases him about it and he's very embarassed? Thank you so much, I’m sorry for my bad English. I love you❤️

A/N: Hello anon! 💕Thank you so much for requesting, this idea just had my heart melting and I loved it because I sleep talk all the time (when I actually manage to sleep) so it was fun to write based on experience (curtesy of my sis & friends telling me about my sleep talk endeavors). I’m sorry it’s taken so long for me to get it out to you, my ADHD has been really out of control lately. I really struggle with it sometimes, so I hope I didn’t keep you waiting for too long. I’ve also been having horrible migraines on and off for the past couple days so that’s what the beginning of the story was inspired by 😅. Thank you so much for your patience, I really appreciate it. Also your english is absolutely fine, love! I hope this is what you were looking for! ❤️

🐉Song Recommendation: “The Ghost on the Shore” By: Lord Huron” 🐉

~~~

🔥Woman of My Dreams 🔥

(Y/N) knew she was supposed to be working, helping Captain Levi with his massive load of paperwork, but she couldn’t focus for the life of her, too distracted by the pained look on her captain’s face. He must’ve felt her watching him, because he glanced up at her, his eyes distant and slightly glazed but narrowed, silently telling her to get back to work. She scowled at him and turned her gaze back to the stack of proposals in her lap, chewing on the end of her pen as she attempted to refocus on the words in front of her. Despite her best efforts, her mind kept straying back to the raven-haired man at his desk, his occasional grunts and annoyed sighs alerting her to his struggle.

(Y/N) was always in awe of her boyfriend’s work ethic, constantly left wondering how someone with so much stress could still manage to push forward. He never seemed to fail at anything he tried, and he constantly pushed his mind and body to the limits, foregoing the need for rest and food in favor of getting everything done in one night. But while that part of her would always be proud of him and his ability to do so much, another part of her hated it. She hated how he’d sacrifice his own health for the sake of others, pushing himself until his body nearly shut down. Tonight, was one of those nights.

She knew Levi had a horrendous migraine. He was usually prone to the headaches that seemed to crack the skull open, but this one seemed particularly awful. He was constantly massaging his forehead and his eyes were unfocused and filled with pain. Tiny whimpers and groans would occasionally escape him, showing her just how much it was affecting him. Levi was usually able to push through the pain and suffer in silence, but this migraine of his seemed intent on making him as miserable as possible. He hadn’t finished more than two pages of work since they had started, and it was clear he was nearing his breaking point.

Knowing his preference for powering through the pain, (Y/N) usually left him to his own devices when he had a migraine like this, trying to make his life easier in more subtle ways like bringing him tea and helping him with more paperwork than usual, but this time, she refused to ignore it. It was clear he was too stubborn to admit he needed to rest and someone had to look after him and make sure he didn’t kill himself.

Setting the remaining reports off to the side, (Y/N) stood from his couch and made her way over to her lover. Before he could react, (Y/N) leaned over and snatched the pen he held from his grasp, throwing it behind her so it could land randomly somewhere in the office.

“(Y/N)! What the hell?” Levi snapped, his voice raspy and filled with exhaustion.

“I’m tired of watching you work yourself to the bone. Come on, let’s get you to bed.”

Levi shook his head, “(Y/N), I’m fine.”

(Y/N) crossed her arms, “Like hell you are. Now, stop being stubborn and step away from the desk.”

“Don’t forget who you’re talking to, (Y/N),” Levi said darkly with a huff. “I am still your captain.”

“Well you won’t be anymore if you overwork yourself to death,” (Y/N) retorted. “And don’t forget who you’re talking to. I’m your girlfriend, which means it’s my job to worry about your wellbeing, especially if you refuse to do it yourself.”

Levi glared at her, but he was secretly touched by her sentiment. It had taken him a while to get used to the feeling of being loved and cared for, but once he had, he had grown greedy for it. He never showed it, still uncomfortable at the idea of being vulnerable around others, even his own lover, but he would always love how she doted on him, how she made him feel like he was worth something. That if he died, he wouldn’t just be mourned because humanity had lost its strongest soldier. He would be missed, remembered for the man he was rather than just how society had painted him to be. His eyes roved over her usually kind face, now twisted into a frown as she glared right back at him, refusing to back down without getting him the rest he needed. He honestly didn’t know why he was being so stubborn, he knew she was right, but he still struggled to accept her help, almost feeling weak for succumbing to something as trivial as a migraine.

As if she could read his mind, her gaze softened and she let out a gentle sigh. Moving around his desk to stand behind him, she leaned down and laid her hands on his shoulders, squeezing and massaging the muscles with her firm fingers. Levi was embarrassed by how quickly he reacted to her touch, immediately leaning back into her grip. His head lolled against the back of his chair and his eyes closed in bliss, temporarily ignoring the blistering pain in his head.

“Feel good?”

Levi hummed.

“See? Accepting help doesn’t make you any less of a man. Getting the rest and relaxation your body needs doesn’t make you weak by any means. Everyone needs the proper energy to take care of themselves, you especially. You’re too important to lose, especially to something as pointless as self neglect. So please stop working tonight, for me.”

Levi was silent for a moment, fighting with himself over the urge to finish his work anyway or fall victim once again to your undeniable charms as well as the insistent demands of his own body. Just as he was about to open his mouth, ready to attempt one last refute, a fresh wave of pain washed over him, making him gasp. A hand flew to his head, his teeth gritted in pain as his very skull seemed to throb. Through the haze, he vaguely felt (Y/N)’s hands tighten on his shoulders and knew there was no way he was going to get out of this. Once she had made up her mind about something, there was no changing it.

For once, Levi didn’t fight it when (Y/N) guided him to stand from his chair, biting his tongue to keep from gasping in pain as the sudden movement made his head split. He stumbled and started to fall, only to be caught by his lover, the strong woman bearing his entire weight as if he were nothing but a feather. A light blush made its way to his cheeks despite the pain that was starting to make his vision blur. He knew he shouldn’t be shocked, she was in his Special Operations squad for a reason, but she never failed to impress him with her unexpected strength. (Y/N) walked slowly and carefully, making sure to avoid jostling him as she made her way to his bedroom. Nudging the door open, (Y/N) picked her way over to his bedside and pulled the sheets back before gently easing him onto the mattress, ignoring his protests when she began stripping him of his uniform.

His blush got a little darker as she worked on removing his clothes. Their relationship wasn’t new, but it hadn’t been very long either, and they still hadn’t crossed the boundary of physical intimacy yet. He knew she had no ill intent, but it still didn’t stop him from feeling relatively shy at the thought of her seeing him without his uniform.

(Y/N) felt butterflies in her stomach with each article she removed, but she shoved down her embarrassment and awe at his breathtaking form and focused on making him as comfortable as possible. She stopped once he was finally stripped to his boxers and neatly folded his uniform to place on the lone chair in the corner of his room, knowing it would bother him all night if it was thrown around half-hazardly.

Levi’s soft groan of pain brought her back to his bedside, and she quickly shimmied the blankets out from under his legs so she could throw them over his body, taking the extra time to tuck him in as comfortably as possible. As soon as he was nestled beneath the soft blankets, (Y/N) moved to his bathroom to get him some water, holding the glass to his lips for a few sips to help lessen some of the pressure in his head. Finally, she left to grab a small bucket to place beside him just in case he had to vomit in the middle of the night, knowing it might be difficult for him to reach the bathroom if he was dizzy and disoriented.

Placing her hands on her hips, (Y/N) surveyed her work, nodding once she was satisfied with his set up. Flashing him a sweet smile, (Y/N) turned for his bedroom door, her eyes soft and full of love as she watched him.

“Goodnight, Levi, I hope you feel better,” She said, opening the door and stepping through it.

“(Y/N).”

(Y/N) paused, her hand on the edge of the door as she peered back around to look at him, “Yes?”

“Stay with me. Please?” Levi asked, the blush on his cheeks getting even darker as he averted his gaze.

(Y/N)’s eyes widened in shock. She and Levi had been dating for nearly six months and yet he had never asked her something like this. She knew they were going at a slow pace, she knew Levi struggled with expressing his emotions, but she had always been content to go at whatever pace he was comfortable with, knowing he was still very new to the idea of a relationship. It had taken him several weeks for him to even get to the point of treating her differently than the other soldiers on his squad.

She had never doubted his love for her, even when her friends had seemed skeptical in the beginning. She could see it in his eyes, but it had taken him a long time to be able to express those hidden feelings physically and vocally. She didn’t mind, she was fine with being patient and had waited for him to come to her, allowing him to have the time he needed to find his words and indulge in discovering his own love language. It was fun in a way, a little adventure between the two of them. It made every new sign of affection from him mean so much more than normal; every head pat, every kiss, every hug, making her feel as if she had just conquered the world.

It was because of those experiences that she was able to understand the importance of this moment. Her shy, reclusive, severely touch-starved boyfriend asking her to share his bed with him, exposing that vulnerability to her, albeit innocently, was a huge step in a new direction for him.

The thought made her nervous, not wanting to impose on his personal space or make him uncomfortable with her, but it also filled her with immense pride. He trusted her and only her to be around him when he was at his most vulnerable.

Swallowing her anxiety, (Y/N) nodded and shut the door again. Picking her way across the room, she quietly maneuvered her way to his bedside and slid beneath the covers beside him, trying to make as little noise and movement as possible to avoid causing more pain to his head.

Levi grunted a little as he shifted onto his side, facing away from her while she reached over to the bedside table to diffuse the lantern flame, bathing the room in darkness. Levi felt (Y/N) shift until she was laying on her side, facing his broad back, the covers pulled up to her shoulders.

“Goodnight Levi,” (Y/N) murmured.

“Mmm, goodnight,” Levi muttered, the pain in his head coupled with her soothing presence making him drowsier than normal.

(Y/N) smiled when she felt Levi fall asleep, his light snores and gentle breathing filling the otherwise silent air. She was glad he was finally getting some rest, but she knew she would be up for a while. She had had insomnia for as long as she could remember and knew it would be a long time before her brain would shut up long enough for her to get some rest. It was that shared trait between her and the Captain that had allowed her to get close to him in the first place, late night talks with tea leading to moonlit confessions on the roof of their headquarters.

(Y/N)’s smile widened at the memory, and how uncharacteristically nervous the normally stoic Captain had been when he had turned to her that fateful night and practically spat his feelings at her. She knew how hard it had been for him to admit them to her, and she had a small inclination to say that Erwin and Hanji may have been the ones to force him to do it, but that just made the memory all the more special to her. It showed her that he really did care for her, that he was willing to lower his carefully structured walls and bare his battered heart for her alone. It was why it didn’t bother her that he didn’t shower her with compliments. It was why she was never disheartened by his lack of physical or vocal affection.

She’d be lying if she claimed she didn’t get a little lonely sometimes, and she couldn’t say she didn’t sometimes wish he could call her beautiful without hesitation, but she didn’t let it get to her. She loved him, and she knew he loved her, so she’d wait for however long it took for him to grow comfortable around her, even if that meant she had to reel back her own feelings for a while.

Closing her eyes, (Y/N) was trying to coax sleep to take her when a sudden quiet murmur made her open them again. She waited, wondering if she had imagined the noise, when she suddenly heard it again. It was soft, and very quiet, but it was no doubt the voice of her lover, muttering something. She knew there was no way he was talking to her, he would’ve spoken louder than that if he was.

The thought made her stifle a surprised giggle as she suddenly realized that Levi was talking in his sleep. She knew he’d be embarrassed if he found out she was listening, but she couldn’t help herself, her ears straining to try to catch some of the words. Silence settled over the room once more for a moment, nothing but the distant sound of the wind blowing outside filling the air, but soon enough, the murmurs started back up again, more recognizable words spilling from his lips the longer he talked to himself.

“No…, that’s not…mmm.”

“S-Stop that!”

“Mmph, no… I’m not...”

(Y/N) stifled another laugh as Levi started getting feisty in his sleep, turning to face her with a slight frown marring his features. His eyes were still firmly shut, confirming that he was indeed sleep talking, but the argument he was having with some unknown person in his head seemed to only be getting more intense.

“That’s not true!” Levi suddenly shouted, his voice raspy and muffled by his pillow.

“What’s not true, Levi?” (Y/N) whispered, deciding to tease him a bit. She knew he would probably be annoyed later, but this was a once in a lifetime opportunity, she wasn’t about to pass it up.

“That’s not true.” Levi said again, his voice lowering in volume but hardening in tone, “Of course I show affection!”

(Y/N) brought a hand to her mouth and bit her knuckle, trying to keep her giggles from waking him up, “Oh, really? When do you usually show affection?”

Levi’s frown deepened and his jaw tightened, “I show affection when I’m with (Y/N).”

(Y/N) blinked, not expecting her name to come up in this midnight conversation. Lowering her hand from her lips, (Y/N) sat up to rest on her elbows, her eyes sparkling as she looked down at her sleeping lover.

“How do you show (Y/N) affection?” she asked, curious to see what he would say.

Levi let out a quiet, defeated sigh, his frown disappearing into an expression that looked unexpectedly like guilt.

“Listen, Hanji, I…” Levi trailed off for a while, the air thick with (Y/N)’s curiosity. So, it was Hanji he was talking to in whatever dream he was having. The thought spiked her curiosity even further, making her heart pound in her chest. It wasn’t uncommon that Levi would be annoyed with Hanji, so the argument at the beginning of his dream made sense, but he almost never talked about his relationship with anyone but Erwin, not trusting the energetic scientist to keep from teasing him and spreading rumors about them. She knew they were together of course, that was impossible to hide from her, but he always denied her details whenever she asked.

“Shit… I… I can’t believe I’m about to do this…” Levi muttered, a slight scowl reappearing on his features.

“Do what?” (Y/N) whispered.

Levi took a deep breath, his fingers curling around the edge of the sheets to squeeze in his fist, as if he was being forced to do something unpleasant, “Hanji, I need your help.”

(Y/N) had to fight to hold back a genuinely shocked gasp. Even when he was just dreaming, she had never imagined in her entire life that she would hear that sentence come out of his mouth. She suddenly wondered if she was the one dreaming, and this was just some elaborate scene her brain had made up.

“Um, sure, Levi, what do you need help with?”

A deep breath rattled from the depths of his chest, “How do I... show (Y/N) proper affection?”

“What do you mean?” (Y/N) asked breathlessly.

Levi grunted in his sleep, his knees rising beneath the sheets to curl against his stomach. “Do I really have to explain it, Hanji?”

“Yes.”

“Fine, you idiot,” Levi grumbled, “I just… I just don’t know how to show her how much she means to me. I’m so fucking lucky to have her. She’s been so patient, so amazing, never complaining about my inability to be romantic, but I’m tired of being unable to be there for her. I’m tired of looking around at the other couples around us and seeing how loving they are, only to know that I can’t do the same for her. I’ve had enough of treating her like a normal cadet on my squad. She deserves so much more than that, she is so much more than that. She shows me every single day that I am loved and cared for, and it makes me sick that I struggle to do the same.”

(Y/N) had her hand back over her mouth again, this time to stifle her sobs instead of her chuckles. Her eyes were lined with silver as she gazed down at the love of her life, her heart thundering pleasantly in her chest. While it was true that she had never had a problem with waiting for him to get more comfortable with her, she couldn’t deny the feelings of elation she was feeling with every word that poured from his mouth. It didn’t matter that he was asleep, it didn’t matter that he didn’t even know he was talking to her. All that mattered was that he was finally saying the things she had secretly burned to hear for months.

Levi sighed, “I just love her so damn much. She’s the woman of my dreams, and I don’t think I can go one more day without her knowing that…”

Swallowing the sob that threatened to crawl past her lips, (Y/N) brushed his raven bangs to the side and leaned down to give him a sweet kiss on the forehead.

“Believe me, Levi. She knows.”

The small smile that appeared on his face made it impossible for (Y/N) to hold her tears back this time, the warm, salty liquid sliding down her cheeks to land with soft taps on her pillow. Despite the fact that his eyes were still closed, (Y/N) gave him a watery smile of her own and reached over to wrap an arm around his waist, pulling herself closer to his warm chest and curling into his body.

“I love you too, Levi,” she murmured before closing her eyes, the smile still on her face as she fell asleep easily for the first time in years.

____________________

Levi could feel himself slowly being dragged back into consciousness, but for the first time since he was a little boy, he didn’t want to wake up to the slightly more bearable hell of the day. Usually, what little sleep he got was riddled with nightmares, screams of his comrades as they either begged him to save them or blamed him for their early deaths. He was usually plagued with dark, bloody thoughts and visuals that made him wake in a cold sweat, his stomach swirling so violently he was occasionally reduced to emptying the remnants of his dinner in the middle of the night. He never enjoyed being tired or facing the titans day after day, but at least the real world kept him busy with training and paperwork, keeping his demons at bay.

But today felt different. He felt warm, comfortable, as if the sun’s rays were cuddling him in a warm nest. He felt content and unafraid of closing his eyes for the first time in years. A part of him was suspicious of the change, tempted to open his eyes and find out what was making him feel so comfortable, but the bigger part of him didn’t want to leave this unexpected bliss so soon, afraid that opening his eyes would chase away the feeling before he could truly relish in it.

He sighed through his nose, nuzzling his pillow in an attempt to coax his mind back into the warm embrace of sleep when a sudden movement against his bare chest made his eyes snap open, ready to rip someone to shreds. His stinging words immediately died on his tongue when his silver gaze snapped to the (h/c) haired lump nestled against his skin. Ah, that explained why he had slept so well, even with a migraine, which had thankfully disappeared overnight.

Levi couldn’t help the smile that curled at the edges of his lips, the look in his eyes softening as he watched his love sleep against him. An innocent, giddy sense of wonder filled him at the sight of her, his heart pounding in his chest. He had never had a woman fall asleep against him before, many people finding him too cold and standoffish to find comfort in him. But here she was, the most gorgeous woman in the world, cuddled up against him as if he were a warm pillow, her hair splayed out over his chest like tangled silk.

She was so fucking beautiful. He couldn’t get her out of his head. The past few months had been the best he had ever had, his life now full of love and happiness and soft laughter. As he stared at her, his heart about to burst out of his chest, Levi couldn’t help but reach out to her, his fingers brushing her cheeks ever so softly, making his skin tingle with how soft she was.

His hand immediately drew back when she scrunched her nose cutely, her eyes squeezing shut as her mouth opened in a wide yawn. A part of him felt sorry for waking her, but as she opened her glittering (e/c) eyes to look up at him, the other part of him felt more satisfied at seeing her cute expression.

“Good morning,” (Y/N) mumbled, her sleepy, raspy voice sending a jolt of something electric down his spine.

“Morning,” Levi said, unaware that his own deep, husky morning voice was making (Y/N)’s stomach flutter with early morning butterflies.

“Sleep well?” (Y/N) asked.

“Surprisingly, yes,” Levi said, moving his arms from around her body so he could stretch them above his head with a satisfying crack.

“It sure sounded like it.”

Her comment made him pause and glance at her, the mischievous look in her eye making a wave of nervousness course through him.

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, nothing,” (Y/N) purred, causing his anxiety to spike, “I was just unaware that you talk in your sleep.”

Levi froze. He talked in his sleep!? He didn’t know he did that! He supposed it was normal for him to not remember the event, and he had never slept beside another person in his life, aside from his mother when he was a toddler, so it made sense that he had been unaware of this unexpected habit, but that didn’t erase the anxiety that swirled in his gut.

“O-Oh?” Levi asked softly, cursing his stutter.

“Mm hm,” (Y/N) said, her smile only widening as she watched his reaction, her eyes glittering playfully.

“Um, what did I say? It better not have been something stupid,” Levi muttered, trying to fight the blush that threatened to rise to his cheeks. He almost didn’t want to know, but with the way she was smiling at him, it looked as if he had said some revealing things.

“Well, you were arguing with Hanji for most of it,” (Y/N) said, watching with a deviant smile as her boyfriend relaxed, an obvious expression of relief on his face.

“Tch, I do that when I’m awake, idiot.”

“You also said you were head over heels in love with Eren Jaeger.”

(Y/N) couldn’t hold back her laugh when Levi started choking on his own breath, his sharp inhale of shock getting caught in his throat.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” (Y/N) said with a cackle, smirking even more at the dirty glare he threw her as he coughed, “It was a joke, I promise!”

“Fucking hell, brat…” Levi muttered, covering his face with his arm.

“You did call me the woman of your dreams, though,” (Y/N) said quietly once her giggles had subsided, a light blush dusting her cheeks despite herself as she recalled the wonderful memory.

Levi didn’t choke this time, but his eyes did go wide, his lips parting in shock. He knew she was being serious. Immediately, Levi was filled with a confusing blend of joy and horror, happiness that he had finally gotten the chance to tell her his true feelings about her, even in sleep, and horror that she had found out in the way she did, while he was unconscious and having an argument with Four Eyes about god knows what. Levi couldn’t fight the blush that rose to his cheeks, his skin stained red as embarrassment washed over him.

He didn’t know what to say. He was floundering, trying to think of something, anything to either confirm his sentiment or try to divert the conversation, but nothing was coming to mind. His brain was blank, nothing but the pounding of his heartbeat in his ears overwhelming his senses. Suddenly, a soft hand grasped his wrist, gently tugging on his arm until he had removed it from covering the silver eyes she loved so much. Leaning over him, her eyes were glazed with unshed tears as she locked her gaze with his, showing him all of the emotions she couldn’t put into words before leaning down to kiss him.

He unintentionally let out a groan when her lips met his, his tongue immediately reaching out to dance with hers as they tasted each other, slow and sweet and loving. When they finally parted, both of them gasping for breath and smiling as if they had just found the way to world peace, Levi saw that a few tears had escaped to stain (Y/N)’s cheeks.

“I love you, Levi Ackerman. I love you for you and all of your little quirks, and I always will.”

Levi felt himself get choked up, but he swallowed past the lump in his throat, focused on making the goddess in his arms feel the same way she made him feel.

“I l-love you too, (Y/N), y-you really are the woman of my d-dreams.”

Levi hated that he stuttered, but he let out a sigh of relief as he finally managed to push the words past his lips. (Y/N) choked out a joyful sob as pride filled her chest like a roaring lion, making her skin glow as if she were something from a fairytale, taking Levi’s breath away. Sitting up, Levi met her half way for another soul-searing kiss, his heart calling out her name as he allowed himself to relax with the kiss, melting into her affection as if he were dipping into a warm sauna, his heart throbbing for the woman who was his entire world.

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ack3rlady · 3 years ago

Text

The Universe Had His Back - Chapter 5

Sunrise

Summary: The aftermath of the breathtaking encounter between reader and Levi when true feelings are revealed

Chapters: Four | Five | Six

Master List

Warnings: Fem! Reader, Angst, Fluff, Modern AU, Reference to alcohol abuse, slight swearing.

Word Count: ~ 2.5k

Inspiration: Starry Night - Suho

Tags: @sooibian, @queenofcurse, @red-n-tall ; Anyone else who'd like to be tagged, please let me know!

You accepted Levi’s offer to drive you home, a decision you would come to regret the moment the car was in motion. The journey was quiet, with you mostly looking out of the window as he drove. Your greed for more time with him that you didn’t account for how dejected you would go on to feel once the adrenaline dried out. You hadn't exactly ended things with him on amicable terms. The ride home in his company just added salt to the unhealed wounds. Levi turned his head towards you several times like he wanted to say something, but didn't.

“How’s Luna?”, your words finally cut through the silence, voice low and shaky.

“She’s fine. Isabel stayed at home with her today.”, he responded, eyes focused on the road.

Then it was quiet again. It took all the strength to bottle up the multitude of emotions building up within you that were burning to be expressed. So, you decided to focus your attention on the row of lush green trees along the sidewalk, whirring past you.

Levi quelled his desire to lay his hand on yours more than once; intertwining your fingers snugly together while you ran soothing circles on the back of his palm - something he always did while driving with you by his side.

‘Old habits die hard’, he thought. Neither of you uttered a word again till your apartment building was around the corner. You sat glued to your seat, unmoving even after he parked.

“You know that you could just come see her, right? She asks about you every day.”, Levi’s gaze was still fixed on the car parked in front of his own, his voice barely audible.

You sighed, feeling ashamed for depriving your own baby of your presence.

“I’m not ready. What if I can't keep it together in front of her? I need to get better before she sees me.” you despaired, looking down at your feet, too afraid of the effect on Luna if she saw you like this.

“I’m going to be right there with you. And how do you expect to get any better if you deny yourself the exact person who is capable of making you feel so?”, Levi turned in his seat to face you, placing a firm hand on your shoulder.

He was right. Of course, Luna was the only one who could pull you out of this abyss. Why had you been running away from her this whole time?

“C-Can I come see her after work tomorrow?”, you squeaked.

“You don’t have to ask. We’ll both be waiting for you.”, he whispered moving his hand to rest on top of yours.

You finally mustered up the courage to look towards him. He wore the same smile on his face that you had been in love with for the last eight years; the exact one that always assured you that everything was going to be okay.

Reader’s POV

You entered your apartment and laid the shopping bags on the counter. Taking off your shoes, you placed them neatly on the rack by the door, taking a little step towards keeping the word you gave Miche this morning. It was late in the evening; the Sun having just set. You glanced around your gloomy apartment, at the dark shadows and how even the brightest colored paints and fabrics looked somber in the dusk’s dullness. The eeriness of the space was starting to eat at you when something shiny on the kitchen platform caught your eye. It was a bottle of whiskey, its amber liquid gleaming in the residual rays of light entering through the window.

The conflict in your head began as you started walking towards it absentmindedly. Was tonight going to be the same as the other wretched ones of the last two weeks? Faces of Luna, Levi, Miche and Nanaba flashed before our eyes as you inched towards the humble kitchenette. Finally at your destination, you picked up the bottle and stared at it, putting up a hard fight against the demons in your head.

You jumped when the door to your apartment suddenly slammed open, making the bottle almost slip out of your hands.

"Sweets!", A loud voice called out to you, the light from the window reflecting off the intruder’s glasses.

It was a moniker given to you by your dear friend based on "your profession and character" as they liked to call it. But the truth was, it was a part of the 'couple name' they had created for you and Levi called 'Short and Sweet', earning them a few punches from the holder of the other half of the title.

“Hange, you almost gave me a heart attack! What are you doing barging into my apartment like this?”, you grumbled.

“Well, your door was unlocked. So, how was your run in with Shorty? Tell me everyth... What the fuck is that?”, they began with excitement, but it dissipated as soon as they switched the lights on and spotted what you held in your hands.

You looked like a thief caught in the act. Guilty.

“It-It's nothing. I wasn’t drinking it.”, you stuttered, hastily putting it away.

“You mean you hadn't started drinking it yet?”

They were probably right. That’s how your evenings usually began these days. You tried your hardest to conquer the need for a drink, only to eventually give in and ending up passed out somewhere in your apartment.

Your train of thought was interrupted by a knock. Miche and Nanaba tiptoed inside through the still unlocked door with guilty smiles, as if ready to turn on their heels in case if you decided to chase after them.

“So? How did it go with Ackermann?”, they asked eagerly in unison.

“Wait. Was my day broadcasted in the news or something? How do you already know?”, your face had a giant question mark stamped on it.

“Who do you think brought it all together?”, Hange grinned, proudly wiggling their eyebrows.

You furrowed yours, and audibly gasped seconds later when it hit you. The sequence of events played before your eyes; how each person you had seen today and led to you meeting Levi. First Miche and Nanaba, then Suki. Your jaw slacked, and you gaped at each one of them in complete disbelief at what they had just pulled off.

Miche quietly slithered to position himself closely beside you and wrapped his arm around your shoulders – a little too tight. Well, you were contemplating introducing their jaws to your fist, so you guessed he was just being cautious.

“Who else knew of this?”, you hissed.

“Not Shorty, if that’s what you’re asking. I cooked up the idea. But it was Erwin who played commander and assigned roles! Everything from you and Levi having the same day off work, Suki and Furlan pestering you two into going with them, Nanaba and Miche forcing you out of here, Isabel staying home with Luna so that Levi could leave, and now us being here to witness the success of our little project, it was brought together by him. In fact, Erwin is checking in on Levi as we speak!”, Hange exclaimed triumphantly.

You felt stupid after finding out that you and Levi got played by practically everyone you knew. How were they this good at keeping it under wraps?

“Why did you do this?” You asked.

“Because you are both too stupid realize how crazy you are about each other and how this estrangement is paining you. So, we just decided to nudge you in the right direction. You’re welcome, by the way!”, Nanaba grinned.

“What are you even talking about? He’s the one who willingly ended what we had.”, you despaired.

The memories of the months preceding the divorce were fresh in your mind. Levi couldn’t stand being in the same room as you for more than a few minutes at a time, constantly falling out with you over something or the other. You remembered how much it hurt when he always seemed irritated by your sheer presence.

“Rubbish! You should know by now that Shorty is a complete moron with his feelings. Don’t you remember how long he stalled asking you out on a date all those years ago? And also, how I finally had to ask you for him? This is history repeating itself, silly!”, Hange chuckled, gently flicking your forehead

“Erwin and I see him every day, Sweets. We know how much he regrets letting you go. But he’s too much of a chicken to do anything about it. We’ve been badgering him to reconnect with you for a while now. But he was terrified of making a move. The dumbass is utterly in love with you. Precisely why Erwin and I decided to take matters in our own hands.”, they stated matter of factly.

The barrage of information caught you completely off guard. But you couldn’t help but dwell on one detail in particular -

“He’s still in love with me?”

Levi’s POV

Levi felt restless on the drive back home, aimlessly fidgeting with his seatbelt and rapidly tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. He was worried about you. Well, he always was, but more so because of what happened today. He suppressed the constant urges to turn his car around and return to you because he needed to get home to Luna and relieve Isabel of her baby-sitting duties.

He parked the car in the driveway and walked through the front door, momentarily freezing upon seeing a tall blonde man seated on the couch with Luna half asleep on his lap, immediately relaxing after recognizing who it was. He was reading her a story from one of the many books you had bought while Isabel was lounging on the loveseat beside them, her face glowing under the light from her phone screen. All three turned to Levi upon hearing the jingling of his keys.

“Papa!”, the little one was refreshed by the sight. She ran to greet her father by wiggling her way off the man’s lap and on to the floor and hugged is leg.

“Hi, moon beam! Erwin, what are you doing here?”, he asked as he gave Luna a kiss and then looked up at the man.

“I’m here to check in on you. How was your meeting with uh... ahem?”, Erwin cleared his throat instead of mentioning your name in the toddler’s presence.

“Check in on me? How do you know about that? What did you do?”, Levi’s temper audibly rose with each question.

“I’m going to tuck Luna into bed, and you are going to wait right here for my return. We need to have a little chat.” he glowered at the taller blonde before he could answer, ignoring the sheepish smile slapped across his little sister’s face.

Luna was out cold the moment her head rested on the pillow given how worn out she was after horsing around with Isabel all day. Additionally, story time with Erwin already had her feeling drowsy by the time Levi had returned home. Ten minutes and a few goodnight kisses later, he was sitting at the dining table with the two adults, sipping tea that Erwin had just brewed.

“When do you plan to start telling me what is going on? I could have had dinner during the wait.”, he jibed.

“I take it that Suki and Furlan were successful in bringing you two face-to-face?”, Erwin’s tone was casual, maintaining steady eye contact with his old friend.

He proceeded to explain in great detail, how he and Hange worked with both your close friends to hatch this plan.

“Can’t you two keep your eyebrows and shitty glasses out of my fucking business?”, Levi growled.

“Since you both can’t communicate like mature adults and figure things out for yourselves, we had to step in as catalysts. Hange is at her apartment right now, making sure she’s okay.”, Erwin kept his defense short.

Levi was at a loss of words. Sometimes he felt like he wasn’t worthy of his two friends. Hange and Erwin always went out of their way for him when he was hit with a challenging situation, and all he ever did was snivel about it.

“Fine. I’ll give you both credit where you deserve it. I had been wanting to see her myself. But I didn’t know what to say. She is coming over tomorrow to see Luna. So, thanks, I guess.”

Erwin knew that this was the closest thing to an apology and appreciation that he was going to get from Levi. So, he took it with a smile.

“Awesome!”, Isabel's scream cut through the calmness.

“And you.”, his fiery gaze landed on her at the far end of the table where she strategically seated herself away from the reach of her older brother in case if he was particularly irked. “I’m going to take care of Furlan later. But you too are hiding things from me now?”,

“Hey! I was just following Erwin's orders! And how could I say no to having my favorite person all to myself for an entire day?”, she reasoned, her face resembling a cartoon cat that Luna was fond of; Puss in Boots, was it?

“So, how did it go?”, Erwin intervened before Levi could scold her further.

Levi took a minute to gather his thoughts. Images of your face flashed before his eyes, making his tense posture relax significantly.

“I - I don’t even know how to describe it. I feel like for the first time in forever, I might sleep well tonight just because I met her. She looked so beautiful.”, his lips showed signs of the smallest smile as he ran his fingers along the rim of his teacup, gazing at the dark liquid contained within.

He quickly composed himself after realizing that he had in fact just said these words out loud and they were not just in his head, but it was too late. Isabel oohed with amusement and yelped after receiving a flying spoon to the head from him.

“It was also... a stark reminder of what an absolute piece of shit I have been to throw away everything we had. She’s in so much pain.”, his softened expression clearly revealed the despair behind his words.

“As are you, Levi. You made a grave mistake. Unfortunately, you're not the only one who is paying for it. But there is no use lamenting over the past, is there? What counts is what you plan to do now. Have you decided what you will say to her when she visits?”

Levi let out a long, suffering sigh. “I regretted what I did the moment I came back to an empty home from the court that day, Erwin. Seeing her today only reaffirmed how shitty my life is without her. I need to win her back. I’m afraid she’ll reject me after what I did to her. But - But she still needs to know that I -

I’m still in love with her.”

Chapters: Four | Five | Six

#levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman #attack on titan #snk #shingeki no kyojin #levi ackerman x fem!reader #levi ackerman fluff #levi ackerman angst #levi ackerman fic #levi ackerman imagine #levi ackerman headcanons #domestic levi #dad!levi #aot fic #aot x reader

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