#daredevil x yn

[petertingle-yipyip]

THREE EMPTY WORDS - MATT MURDOCK

Pairing: Matt x Wife!Reader

Word Count: 3,230

Summary (Request): a request like fingers crossed where matty and reader are married and when elektra enters wounded she's sleeping and doesn't realise the situation, so half groggy wifey goes and asks him to sleep. he obviously says no, so she walks away upset.. then stick asks him if he would leave the reader for elektra and he says yes. reader obviously hears this (somehow he doesn't know) but what he does hear is her heart snap in two because of how heartbroken. then he ends up apologising and idk how but its a happy ending

You pushed your laptop away and rubbed your eyes, closing them tightly when you realized just how dry they were. They burned slightly and you knew it was time for bed. You shut your device after saving your lesson plans and tucked it into your bag on the floor. You wandered through the living room for one final check that your boyfriend hadn’t collapsed on the couch before you headed to bed.

It was a few hours later when the commotion started. The loud crashing from your living room woke you with a start, jumping hard enough to nearly fall off the bed. You sat up with eyes squinting through the bright living room lights to see the familiar silhouette of an unmasked Matt, accompanied by an older figure and a limp body.

You fought your way out of the blankets and shuffled across the room to get to the door. The lights were still too bright so you covered your eyes with one hand while holding the door with the other.

“Matty? Is that you?” You asked, the sleep in your voice obviously.

“Yeah.” He answered in a rush. “It’s me, sweetheart. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m okay. Go back to bed, alright? I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, okay.” You nodded, a heavy yawn sneaking through. “Are you coming?”

“Not right now. I need a few minutes but I’ll be there. Just.. Please.”

“Okay.” You shrugged and shuffled back, eyes closed as you dropped back into bed.

After a short amount of tossing and turning, you woke to a loud yank of the dresser drawer. You sat up and pushed yourself against the headboard, eyes still closed as your hands dropped into your lap. Matt was muttering to himself as he fought out of his suit, the heavy protective material getting slammed against the floor.

“What time is it?” You mumbled, blinking quickly to try and acclimate to the light. “What’s wrong, Matty?”

“It’s nothing, Y/N.” He answered, relatively sharply but maybe he was just tired. “I didn’t mean to wake you again.”

“It’s fine… Should I be worried?”

He finally turned to face you and you noticed his hands were covered in dried blood and they were trembling. You swung your legs around and got up, intending to go to his side but he was quick to meet you and turn you around so your back was towards the living room.

“Matt.” You said quizzically, though there was a firmness that demanded an answer. “What’s going on?”

“It’s a mess out there right now, okay?” He sighed. His eyes closed and he dropped his forehead against yours while his hands moved up and down your arms gently. “I’m gonna handle it and then I’ll be right there in bed with you.”

“You promise?”

He gave a small chuckle before planting a sweet kiss on your forehead.

“I promise.”

“Go on then.” You plopped yourself on the bed again. “Go be a hero… I love you.”

“I love you too.”

You laid on your side as you watched him go back into the living room. He hesitated at the doors and your brows furrowed, though you said nothing. You saw his shoulders drop and heard the faint sigh before he turned away and closed the doors the majority of the way.

You quickly realized you weren’t going to be able to fall back asleep anytime soon so you crawled to the edge of the bed. You leaned forward in an effort to peek through the small opening and saw a woman on the couch, eyes closed with Matt at her side. Out of curiosity, you pushed the blanket to the floor and slid down on top of it. When there was no reaction from Matt, you continued forward until you were at the doors.

Elektra.

How long had she been back? Was she okay?

“Matty.” The old man said. You angled yourself to see him and you could only assume it was the old man who had trained Matt when he was younger. “You know you can’t have both.”

“What?” Matt asked quickly, and you had a similar but quieter reaction. “What are you talking about?”

“Look at yourself, kid. You got your girl in the room, sleeping alone, because you’re here with her.”

“She could die, Stick. I just want to make sure she’s alright.”

“There’s nothing you can do for Ellie right now.” Stick said simply. “As much as I disagree with the soft life you built here…” He sighed and turned towards the bedroom. You froze, as if you’d been caught, but then you remembered he was also blind. But that didn’t mean he didn’t know you were there. “Would you leave it all?”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“What’s her name? Y/N?”

“Don’t talk about her.” Matt said protectively. “What are you getting at?”

“Let’s say, hypothetically, it’s between Ellie here and that little firecracker in the bedroom… Who do you pick?”

“I’m not gonna play your game.”

“That’s an answer on its own.” He shrugged.

“Shut up, Stick.”

“All I’m saying is that-“

“I don’t care.” Matt cut in sharply. “I don’t care what you have to say about my life or the way I’m living it, alright? She knows what I do is dangerous and she’s fine with it. She knows that I love her and I do this to make sure she’s safe. She gets it, all of it.”

“Does she?” Stick countered calmly. “Does she know about Ellie?”

Matt was quiet.

“She doesn’t.” The old man said quietly. “And you really think she’ll stay once she knows?”

“It doesn’t matter… She doesn’t need to know.”

“Intersting..”

“What are you looking for, Stick? You want some confession about how I feel?”

“I want you to stop lying to yourself, Kid. And stop lying to that girl.” He pointed towards you in the bedroom.

“I’m not lying.” Matt scoffed.

“Okay… So who’s it gonna be?”

“Why do you care so much?”

“Ellie or Y/N?”

“That’s my wife, Stick.”

“Just answer the question!”

“Elektra!” Matt yelled suddenly and you felt your stomach twist.

Without much thought you pushed the doors open roughly, earning a quick head turn from Matt and a smirk crossed Stick’s features that made you feel sick. Why he intended on pushing Matt to give an answer, you had no idea. But he did, and Matt gave the exact opposite answer you expected.

“Y/N? You okay?” Matt asked carefully, a small tilt to his head as he listened in to whatever tell your body was giving him. “Your heart’s racing.”

“Yeah..” You said tightly. “Just need the bathroom.”

You hurried into the room and locked the door behind yourself. You leaned against the sink, taking a minute to stare at the tears welling up in your eyes. You felt sick, a twisted knot growing in your stomach. It felt as if it was swelling, crushing your lungs and cramming itself into your throat to the point where it was hard to breathe. Your knees fell weak and you let yourself drop the ground, head in hands as the tears began to fall. You kept quiet to try and hear what Matt said next.

“That wasn’t fair.” Matt said angrily. “You tricked me.”

“Did I?” Stick answered sarcastically. “Did I trick you?”

“Yes, you did.”

“The only person that tricked you is you. Come on, Matty. No one forced you to say Ellie’s name.”

“And no one asked you to come here and start problems. You knew she was listening and you wanted to see if you could play some sick game with her. You don’t even know her!”

“I know that you don’t need her.”

“Get out.”

“All of this over some girl. Wake up, kid!”

“Stop talking about my wife that she’s just some girl.”

“She won’t stick around after that.”

“Get out of my apartment or I will throw your ass out.”

With quiet screams, knees pulled to your chest and arms wrapped around them, you sobbed on the bathroom floor.

Your eyes were closed tightly and your shoulders shook as your lungs fought to fill with air. You turned your head to let the small whine of a sound get muffled by your shoulder while your nose ran and leaked onto your shirt. Your hands gripped your legs tightly and our nails dug into the tender flesh, serving as a physical source of your emotional pain.

You had always known Matt had a soft spot for his old college girlfriend. She was the first person that made Matt feel alive, that didn’t treat him as a porcelain doll. She challenged him and adored him for all he was. Like he said, she understood all of it. But to hear him confess that he’d still choose her over you, after everything you’ve helped him through, it felt like a deep cut to your soul.

“Sweetheart?” Matt asked from the other side of the door as he knocked lightly. “You alright in there?”

You shook your head quickly, despite the fact that he wouldn’t know, but had no voice to offer a response. You knew if you tried to say anything, you’d fall into another fit of sobs.

“Y/N, I can’t tell if you answered… Please talk to me, or open the door.”

“Go away.” You said quietly, a voice hardly above a whisper.

“No.” He said before a small shuffle and his voice came from a lower angle for his next sentence. “Not until you tell me.”

You rolled your eyes and slammed your fist against the door. You assumed it would’ve hit just about where he was so maybe he would get the hint that you didn’t want him around.

He didn’t.

“You heard what Stick said, didn’t you?” He asked gently.

“The important part is I heard what you said, Matt.” You managed, your voice weak rather than sharp.

“What I… Y/N, sweetie, you know I didn’t mean it.”

“I’m crying my eyes out because I know what you meant.” You offered sarcastically. “Just leave me alone.”

“I’m not gonna let you stay in the bathroom all night. Unless you plan to sleep in the bathtub, you have to come out at some point, my love.”

“Why didn’t you tell me she was in town?”

“I didn’t think it would matter… It wasn’t supposed to come to this. It was supposed to be something quick, one-and-done. I never planned on her being here this long.”

“Is that supposed to make it okay?” You sniffled. “Things didn’t go to plan so you continue to hide it? You lied to me, Matt. So many times… I thought you were just out doing Daredevil things but you were going on little vigilante dates with her.”

“Dates? No, no, Y/N, nothing was ever a date.”

“That night you left in your work suit and came back in a tux?” You challenged.

“That..” He said slowly as he searched for a way to explain it. Now you were starting to grow angry, hearing him try to justify what he was doing rather than admit he was wrong. “Wasn’t a date. It was just us-”

“It was you two, getting dressed up and going out.”

“We needed to get into the gala to take a leger. That’s it.”

“If that was it, it should’ve been done. But it wasn’t, was it?”

“No…”

“No, you continued to see her and continued to lie to me and all of your friends... Does she even know that we're married?”

“Yes.” He answered quickly. “Yes, of course she knows. I’d never try to keep you a secret.”

“No, but you’ll keep secrets from me.”

“I thought it would be quick.”

You rolled your eyes and shoved yourself to your feet. You yanked the door open and pushed forward, nearly tripping over Matt, who was still sitting on the floor. You let out a ragged breath as a poor attempt to control your boiling anger but with every hasty step across your living room, every time your peripherals caught sight of Matt’s unconscious ex-lover on your couch, you felt that anger seer through every nerve in your body.

Every inch of your skin tingled and your muscles burned. You didn’t know what to do with yourself. You wanted to scream, to hit something, to throw something. You wanted to cry, to run, and just be alone. But where would you go? It was late. Your friends were likely asleep. You had no escape at the moment, so instead of letting it cook you from the inside out, you directed your anger at the only person you thought would deserve it.

Well, maybe not deserve it, but the only person who could take it.

“I never wanted to lie to you or- or keep anything from you.” Matt tried and all you could respond with was a scoff. You knew the second you let your brain send words to your tongue, they’d flow from your mouth. They’d grow and burn and creep like lava, thick and heavy and painful. So you pressed your lips together and shook your head, letting out sharp exhales through your nose as your angry pacing continued.

“Please, Y/N, you have to believe me.” He nearly begged.

“Were you ever going to tell me?” You asked through gritted teeth, digging nails into your palms so roughly it sent a sting through your hand. “Or was she always going to be your little secret?”

“I never meant to -”

“That doesn't make it any better!” You shouted, throwing your arm widely to gesture to the woman on your now bloodied couch. “You can’t justify this! There’s no scenario or circumstances that make this okay! Do you get that?”

“I know but-”

“Then there is no but!” You continued to scream.

You didn’t care if the neighbors heard. You didn’t care if the whole city heard you. You didn't care if your volume woke Elektra or even woke the dead. You were absolutely livid now that the sadness had worn off. You were initially hurt that he had admitted to preferring Elektra to you, but at the end of the night, Matt came home to you. Matt spent his nights with you. He trusted all of his secrets to you. Elektra may have had his heart in the beginning but he was yours now. You wouldn’t let that go, nor would you ever let her think otherwise.

“I have to find out by accident that my husband is running around town, ditching work, for his ex from college. How do you think that makes me feel? How does that make our marriage look?” You continued, unleashing any thought your brain conjured.

But at that moment, with the notorious neon shining through the living room windows, you refused to let anything slide. You refused to let Matt think he could keep such a secret, especially one with such heavy implications, from you when he had told you - quite literally - everything else. 

“How can I make this up to you?” He asked gently, walking to your side and gently reaching for your balled-up hands.

You yanked them from his grip and shoved him instead. He nodded slightly and let you push him again. And again. And again. You reached to do it again but that time, he caught your wrists. You pulled away slightly but he refused to let you go, offering a pointed expression instead.

“Let me go, Matt.” You said firmly.

“No.” He said with a slight shake of his head. “Not until you answer me.”

“You didn’t owe me this explanation. Why would I owe you an answer?” You shot back sharply.

“Because I love you… Because you mean everything to me and I’m not going to lose you because of something stupid that I said.”

“Those three empty words will only make this worse. Say them again and I will throw all of your shit out of that window.”

“Empty?” His brows raised and he let your hands go. He scoffed slightly with a nod as he took a few steps away. “Empty words, huh?”

“What would you call them?” You countered, though seeing the hurt expression seemed to sap the anger from your bones.

You started to feel bad… But didn’t you want to hurt him? Make him feel the way you had, just moments before?

“I won’t keep saying those ‘three empty words’ but I am gonna say something else.” Matt said carefully, as if he had decided to choose his words more intently. “Will you hear me out now?”

“If something doesn’t change, we’ll just keep sinking further.” You warned hesitantly, more scared that you had gone too far than that Matt would cross a line. Granted, he had crossed one already but you had gotten over him hiding Daredevil from you so you figured you’d get over the whole Elektra issue with some time. But maybe you had screwed yourself out of that chance.

“I’m running out of things to say to you to get you to believe me.” He confessed, dropping into one of the armchairs out of defeat. “Just tell me this isn’t broken.”

“You tell me.” You shrugged.

“I’m trying.” He laughed, though there was no humor in the sound. It was a sound of stress, desperation even.

“Are you?” You challenged mindlessly, not even realizing you had said it until you watched Matt’s expression change.

“You, Y/N, are the most important person in my life. I could lose… I could lose everything, but as long as I have you… I can do anything as long as you’re with me.”

“Then why is she here?” You insisted, pointing at her with every word.

“Where else were we supposed to take her?” He asked in quiet resignation. “I couldn’t just leave her to die in that place.”

“Fine.” You gave up, rubbing your hands down your face as the sleep pushed your anger away and took its place across your body, making it grow three times as heavy. “Okay.”

“Don’t do that.” Matt shook his head. “Don’t just conceed.”

“I don’t wanna fight anymore.” You admitted through a yawn. “We’re tired.” You reasoned. “We can’t take it anymore… Let’s just get some sleep. And deal with this tomorrow, probably after we both get off work.”

“Y/N.”

“Matthew.”

“Look, before you go to bed, can I say one more thing?” He jumped to his feet and came to stand in front of you, gently taking your hands in his.

“Yeah, just make it quick.” You shrugged.

He placed your hands over the center of his chest, allowing you to feel his pulse thump steadily under your fingers. His hands stayed over yours and you had to bite down the smile as you looked up at him. You felt the subtle movement of his fingers, ensuring that the wedding ring was still on your finger. His head was tilted towards you and he wore the smallest of smiles when he found it, which would seem normal at any other time.

“You mean everything to me, my love… I never meant to hurt you and I’ll do whatever I can to prove that to you. I’d hate to lose you over something like this.”

[vintageaesthetic20]

This man makes me think things that are so not innocent.

[takemetothemoon-fics]

overstimulated // matt murdock

Pairing: Matt Murdock x reader

Word count: 848

Warnings: overstimulation

Tags: Fluff, comfort

Synopsis: When you come home incredibly overstimulated, there's no better person to calm you down better then the one and only matt murdock

A/N: I love matt. he looks like he gives the best comfort ever.

MASTERLIST

Sighing deeply, you grab your keys out of your bag. The ringing only makes you feel worse as you open the door. You enter your apartment you share with matt, and drop your work bag on the floor. With a toss, you get rid of your coat.

You're in a bad mood. Everything's too much, tiny sounds sound amplified, your clothing feels like sandpaper on your skin and your hair keeps touching your face, and tucking it behind your ear just won't work. Tiny things grow bigger and it makes you want to bawl your eyes out.

Matt had a free day, and had waited all day to wrap his arms around you. Happily, he stands up as he hears you come inside. "hey darling"

You feel like you're overflowing, and can't get anything out other than mumbling "I'm sorry.... I'm sorry" as you walk past him, into the bedroom.

Stumped, Matt follows you. Did I do something wrong? He thinks to himself. "darling?" he asks as he watches you go through the closet.

You need to change. you need to get into comfortable clothing, because this blouse you're wearing feels like sandpaper, and the only thing you can think about is taking it off.

Your mind is racing, and you don't even notice matt walking up to you. He grabs your wrist. "Are you okay? Your heart is-" he stops abruptly as you pull away. You fasten your tempo and quickly grab a pair of sweats and a big t-shirt and rush your way into the bathroom, leaving matt alone in the bedroom.

You close the door behind you. Your hand hovers over the lock. You sigh. You don't want to lock him out entirely. As you start to change, your hair keeps falling onto your face and you feel more and more agitated. You let out an annoyed grunt.

With now only a shirt, your bra, and underwear on, you decide to give up and turn on the shower. A wave of tiredness falls onto you as take a step towards the warm water and sit down. You let your head fall onto your knees and close your eyes, waiting for the horrible feeling to go away.

After a minute or two, there's a soft knock at the door. "y/n?". After not receiving an answer, he opens the door. Without saying anything, he sits next to you. The grey t-shirt he's wearing turns dark, and you sigh deeply. "You wanna talk about it?"

You lift up your head. You rest it against the wall. "yeah..."

"What's on your mind, angel?"

"It all so much, matt. Everything was just too much. Not sleeping last night did not help, and when I arrived at work, that prick was working as well. I... I had to swallow so much, because, honestly, if I didn't, I'm pretty sure I'd be in jail right now. And... I yelled at my boss. My boss, matt. He's gonna fire me, and I'll be jobless and-"

"Hey, slow down... You're okay. He won't fire you after one slip-up. And besides, you're good. Your boyfriend is a lawyer."

A small smile appears on your face. He seems to relax a little as he notices his gentle voice has calmed you down.

Matt moves up, and turns the shower off, and sits back down next to you. You're both soaking wet. You place your head on his shoulder and you sigh. "thank you"

He wraps his arm around you. "Are you feeling better?"

"Aside from getting cold, yeah."

He stands up and puts his hand out for you. You take it and stand up. He picks up a towel. He starts drying you gently, still testing the limits. After you're relatively touch-dry, you two walk into the bedroom and change into comfortable stuff.

"You ok?" Matt says, as he notices your quietness. "Yeah... I guess. I'm exhausted."

He takes a step backward and signals for you to lay down. You take the hint, and lay down on your back.

Matt is practically an expert when it comes to sensory things. Dealing with his new ability, he found out ways to calm down overstimulatedness, as he has been a victim to it numerous times. He would make a cup of tea for himself, or place a weighted blanket on him. Since there was no weighted blanked for him to use right now, he figured he would be the next best thing.

He gently places himself on top of you, carefully putting his arms around you. At first, you're a little confused, but notices this really seems to calm you down. You sigh again deeply, as you place your hand on his head and weave your fingers into his hair and start caressing it, causing him to calm down as well. You close your eyes, and feel your body going from tense to relaxed.

You nuzzle your face into his neck. Your turn your head, and look at him. He looks back at you. "What?" He says softly to you with a smile.

"Nothing. You're just perfect."

[angst-cravings]

birdlistening

summary: you are an avid birder, and you go birdwatching every sunday morning before matt goes to church. today you invite him out

pairing: matt murdock x reader

words: 1k

an: this is so self indulgent i love birds so much. only fluff. gender neutral reader, no use of y/n

cw: some mild explicit language. embarrassment about being passionate

The sun isn’t even up yet, but you are energized and ready to go. You love Sunday mornings. Matt has his ritual of going to church and confession, while you have your ritual of going birdwatching. It’s how you center yourself before every week starts. You are silently packing your bag, putting in your worn field guide, bird notebook, binoculars, water bottle filled with hot cocoa, and a pair of gloves in case things get a little too nippy. You barely noticed, but Matt had gotten out of bed and was standing in the doorway like he always manages to do before you leave. You flash him a quick smile. He looks so ethereal with the neon lights reflecting off his bare skin, and his lack of clothing always entices you to stay behind. 

“Expecting any good birds today?” 

“Well, this week is actually peak migration, so… yeah. There will be so many birds today.” You try to hide your excitement, but you’re sure he can hear it in your voice. This is your favorite time of the year, and you are constantly looking forward to it in the winter when birds are scarce.

He grins at you. “Well, I hope you have fun sweetheart.” 

You keep meaning to invite him, but he had usually only gone to bed a few hours before. However, he had taken last night off. Maybe this would be a good time?

“Would you… maybe want to come birdwatching with me?” You tentatively suggest. You were prepared for rejection. It was so early in the morning, and you didn’t even know if he’d enjoy it.

“Well, I can’t exactly watch the birds,” He chuckles, “But I can go out with you if you’d like. I could at least make sure you get to Central Park safely.”

“I think you’d like it more than you think. I can teach you the bird calls, and then you can bird listen,” You zip up your backpack, and put on a hat, “But you don’t have to come if you don’t want to.”

He immediately shakes his head. “Of course. Anything to spend a little more time with you.” Warmth rises in your cheeks, and you can’t help but smile.

As you two walk to Central Park, you start educating him. 

“So, you obviously know the common ones like the Rock Pigeon and Mourning Dove and Canada Goose and stuff. We’ll probably encounter some of those today but those are kinda boring. I’m really looking for warblers; they’re some of my favorite birds. American Redstart and Yellow-rumped Warblers are pretty common around migration here, so I’m expecting some of those.” You pull up recordings of the calls on your phone and play them for Matt so he can get an idea. “American Redstarts are so pretty too, they have this gorgeous orange-red shoulder area. And the Yellow-rumped Warbler is mostly gray with a yellow butt, shoulder, and head.” 

Matt is listening to you, but he is mostly enjoying the lilt of your voice. He loves when you’re excited about things. Your heartbeat always rises a little, your grin is visible in your voice, and you move your hands around a lot. He loves hearing the near-silent swish of air as you gesticulate enthusiastically. 

“You know, you’re lucky this is me. These calls sound very similar.” 

“I mean those two aren’t pretty similar. I think they’re pretty distinct.” You shrug. 

“Maybe to you and I, sweetheart.” He squeezes your hand. 

You set up the blanket on a green patch in Central Park. Matt sits down before you and pulls you into his lap. As the sun starts to rise, birds start to fly, and you point out bird calls to Matt as you hear them. 

“That’s an Indigo Bunting! They’re so gorgeous, they’re this lovely blue color. They form song neighborhoods, where in one area they’ll have one song, and in another, they’ll have a slightly different song. It’s super cool!” You gush as you follow the bird with your binoculars.

He felt lucky. He had an intelligent, passionate partner who loved him. He buries his face in your neck and smiles. The grip around your waist tightens, and he takes a deep breath. Your body wash mingles with the smell of dew and trees. You rattle off more birds to him, and he can feel you write a list of the birds you see. He felt so damn lucky. 

“So, that one I’m hearing is a… Song Sparrow, right?” He focuses on the bird in the tree near you two. Before you even respond, he can hear your heart rate raise slightly in excitement.

“You were paying attention.” A smile forms across your lips.

“Of course, I was, sweetheart.”

“I know, I just… I know you aren’t the most interested in this. Just…thank you. For doing this with me.” You tilt your head in his direction.

“No. I am interested in anything you are interested in. I love the way you talk about birds. Your voice gets a little bit faster and a little bit higher, and you ramble in the cutest way possible. And I will do anything to get you to talk more. It’s one of my favorite sounds. Don’t ever be embarrassed for being passionate. If I could only hear one thing for the rest of my life, it’d be you talking, because” He connects his lips with yours for a quick peck, “I love you. And with that, I love anything that you love too. I was actually hoping you’d invite me. You’ve been talking about this for weeks. I, uh, took last night off in the hopes that you would. Thanks for taking me.”

You shift in his lap and place your hand on his cheek. You lean in, and your foreheads touch.

“Thank you, Matt.” You whisper. You close the distance and kiss him. His lips were warm and inviting. Just like him.

[leewonkyeom]

 light a flame | jeon wonwoo | masterlist

☆ synopsis

when your roommate quits his job at the coffee shop you frequent you never imagined the new guy would be hot or even your type. to make matters worse you both study law at the same university.

your friends to try to convince you to get together with him. you try to convince them you just find him really nice... but are you able to convince yourself?

☆ pairing: jeon wonwoo x fem!reader

☆ genre:  smau, university au, coffee shop au

☆ warnings: swearing, drinking, implied 18+ content

☆ status: ongoing, updates every thursday and sunday

☆ started: 07.09.23

☆ ended: 21.03.24

main masterlist

☆ fill out this form to be added to the taglist

profiles: 1 | 2

chapters:

001: stop thirsting on main

002: i’m not a fucking rat

003: please yn it was for the vine

004: not asking for a friend, i’m asking for me

005: you’re forced to come even if minghao drops of the face of the earth

006: HE’S TALL AND HE GOT A NICE ANGLE SHUT UP

007: you can’t recognize drip even if it’s staring right in your face

008: are you trying to limit my artistic expression?

009: step aside! if anyone’s playing wingman it’s me

010: like slaying monsters?

011: “me as a baby”

012: you obviously know the worth of cancelling

013: is that seungcheol photoshopped as aang from avatar?

014: playing league of legends does not qualify as “having a life”

015: he made me stand outside the coffee shop with a “free hugs” sign

016: good luck, daredevil

017: well, i honestly think you’re both in the wrong

018: then i say spider-man is within the realms of possibility

019: i just wanted the public opinion

020: digital footprint

021: i have faith in the tiger

022: last selfie before we die and i didn’t even look good

023: vernon’s sock drawer isn’t a good hiding place

024: i’m thinking of hanging it in our shared bathroom so seungkwan can be reminded of his good deed

025: oh don’t bring judy into this!

026: staging a storm just so someone can experience the forced proximity trope

027: entering private property in 3... 2... 1

028: i’m not helping a traitor

029: all of my midnight entertainment... gone in seconds

030: yes i will be sharing... / the juices?!

031: uh oh / the ominous period

032: i will go just to prove i’m right

033: oh my god... that woman

034: it means you’re annoying /next

035: i know i’m giving zero context here, but bear with me

036: that guy only has feelings for his right arm

037: how can i dump someone i never even dated?

038: joshua says you can come if you take 10 penalty shots and do a strip tease

039: i can never look any of them in the eyes again... well, except johnny

040: ohh so he’s your super smart study buddy?

041: i didn’t know we had chan’s biggest fan right here

042:i didn’t know you were sending all that, chan. sorry.

043: just a peck

044: as real as spider-man

045: so arguably, it wasn’t even my fault

046: shut up and make out with wonwoo instead

047: special deal only for my boyfriend

048: i’m literally throwing rocks at your window as we speak

049: i’m just training you to be wonwoo’s little pet

050: i’m not having a dog ruin the ambiance

051: epilogue

bonus chapter

[privateanxieties]

hold them gently (these confessions) P.3

Summary: The long-awaited conversation between two idiots in love.

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Reader (she/her, no YN); fluff, pining, mystery, suspense, a bit of hurt/comfort

Words: 7,924 (series now complete)

Part 1 Part 2

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"This… isn't how I wanted everything to go."

The sudden interruption of what was now prolonged silence almost didn't register as she fiddled with the edge of the blanket. Matt's couch had become a place of refuge following Foggy's departure - expulsion - from the apartment half an hour ago, and though the cocoa had gone cold enough to be unpleasant, she kept taking small sips of it out of habit. It wasn't very far from being poetic, she thought - how something that usually soothed her nerves was now a source of discomfort in itself.

Slowly, as though she doubted having really heard him, she lifted her head from where it was burrowed into the leather and peeked over the top of the sofa. Matt stood behind the kitchen counter, both arms propped on it with his head falling between tense shoulders.

"And… how did you want everything to go?" she mumbled, not quite willing to disturb the lingering quiet. It had all gone so poorly; she felt the balance was only hanging on by the thread of maintained peace. A noisy library was unnatural. Anything more than a whisper passed between them felt much the same.

"When I was on my way to the office this morning, I kept thinking of how it would play out. How I'd lay it all out and finally be honest, because you… deserve that. And even though I was dreading your reaction, I would've preferred anything to this."

She blinked in surprise. Mid-afternoon was slowly expiring, and as the sun dipped below New York's skyscrapers, the more prominently lights danced inside his apartment from the neighboring billboard. They distracted her with blues and purples and gave their surroundings an air of fantasy. Two things succeeded in breaking the trance: the first was his confession that he'd been planning on revealing his secret this very morning; the second was his stated dread. They suggested, quite plainly, that he cared enough about her to tell her, and cared enough about her opinion to be nervous about the truth. For a moment, she wondered if she wasn't getting dizzy.

"You were going to tell me this morning? About… being Daredevil?" she asked, needing the confirmation.

A curt nod. A pause. She sat up higher, pulling the blanket with her in lieu of a better shield. Strange words rang out in her mind. No more dancing around each other. No more almost-confessions. She didn't recognize them as her own thoughts. Which meant, at some point, their skin must've made contact even if briefly.

"I… I didn't have my gloves this morning. That's partly why all this happened." Matt's head snapped up, face wearing a deeply carved out frown. "Let me finish, please," she said quickly, anticipating his protest. A few seconds passed before he offered another nod.

"If I'd had my gloves, I wouldn't have seen all that. I wouldn't have been out for so long. Foggy wouldn't have worried so much, and you wouldn't have fought. That's all I've been able to think about since I woke up. I felt guilty. Until… Until just now."

Taking a deep breath that left her unsatisfied, she willed her voice to be steady.

"I felt guilty because the reason I didn't have them on was that I was going to tell you about me, too. I took them off just a little while before you arrived. That's why I wasn't wearing them. And I figured, you know - what a thing. The one day I choose to do something selfish is the day a serial killer walks in. But…" She cleared her throat again, swallowing hard. "But it seems, I wasn't alone. Was I?"

That seemed to finally make him part with the surface of the counter. As he leaned back and stepped around it, she noticed how truly exceptional his ease of movement was. He didn't just walk with the fluidity of any other sighted person. He carried himself with a certain grace, focused and intentional in his body language. He'd been holding back before - even earlier. It had apparently taken explaining his abilities in the time elapsed since Foggy’s departure for him to really be at ease around her. She supposed it made sense. The cat was out of the bag now, for both of them. And the tarp it left behind was full of jagged holes. She hoped that her making room for him on the couch served as a good enough invitation to start fixing some of those.

It was several moments later that he took a seat, and she timidly offered half the blanket to throw over his legs with an inquisitive hum. He left her hanging despite noticing the gesture, and her hands dropped back into her lap, disheartened. Maybe they weren't ready for that.

Then, just as slowly as she'd done it, Matt's hand came to rest, palm up, between them. It hovered uncertainly in the air, and her breath hitched at the offer on display. She grasped his hand in both of her own, relief flooding her chest. They shared a sigh of nervousness before tentative smiles colored both their faces.

"We did this all wrong, huh?" she mused quietly, shifting to twine her fingers with his. The gloves were no match for the warmth that seeped from his hand and into hers.

"It's not your fault," Matt said, running his thumb over the inside of her wrist gently.

"It's not yours, either," she pointed out, knowing Foggy had been right to worry about his penchant for taking the blame.

"I'm guessing in this one instance, arguing wouldn't be successful."

"That's a mighty statement from the defense attorney." She liked his smile, especially the one he seemed to wear only when she teased him. "And, that's every instance with me."

"And if I were to offer another mug of hot cocoa? Would that help my case?" he forwarded mischievously, an innocent pout forming on his lips that she couldn't look away from. She cleared her throat subtly.

"Well, pursuant to the New York Penal Code, bribery is a class B felony with a mandatory term of incarceration. So… tough luck."

"Someone's been brushing up on their legal jargon," he predictably retorted, making her groan and bring their joined hands to rest between them on the sofa.

"It's not my strong suit. Laws feel like they were written by people very cross with the English language."

Matt hummed quietly, angling his body towards her a little more. In that position, the light filtering in from the billboard across the street made his brown eyes look ethereal, almost as if they were gems plucked from the depths of the earth. There was a question swimming inside the orbs and spilling over to the rest of his features.

"Is… tactile cognition medical jargon?"

Unsurprisingly, she didn't tense up this time. His dulcet tone and careful wording were enough to entice her to relax, along with the fact that he hadn't run away hours ago or flinched away from touching her. She squeezed his hand once.

"I said that like it's an actual thing, didn't I? Like a diagnosis… It isn't. I'm pretty sure if I went to a doctor with this, they'd very quickly recommend a visit to the psych ward. Maybe even an extended stay."

The joke fell somewhat flat between them, but it was with half a heart that she'd said it anyway. The ring of truth around it was enough to drain most of the humor from the attempt. Matt's thumb returned to the inside of her wrist.

"Um, that's just what I call it. The name isn't important, I guess. Once people hear what it means, they don't give a damn what it is or isn't called." They just try to get away as quickly as possible.

"Do others know?"

She didn't feel pressed to answer. Matt's open expression and tender touch made her want to.

"My grandmother. My… mother, when she lets herself acknowledge it. We don't have much of a relationship anymore, so it doesn't really matter if she knows or not. And that was the list until today. You. Foggy. Karen will know, if she doesn't already. Nothing slips past her."

That managed to pull a chuckle from him.

"You'd be surprised," he mumbled with a knowing smile. Ah. So Karen knew his secret also.

"How long did it take her to figure out you're… you?"

Matt's smile widened at the unskilled dance she just did around the topic, making her own embarrassed smile flash briefly.

"Over two years. And she didn't figure it out. I told her."

Oh. The knowledge that it took him much less time to decide to tell her about his alter ego was difficult to stop from going to her head. Combined with Foggy's unforgettable I know what she means to you, a tempo was forming in her heart that she had trouble stifling.

"And how did she…"

"React?"

She hummed a quiet affirmation. Matt appeared to consider his answer for several moments, yet his thumb continued its gentle rhythm at her wrist. His answer was brief, but undoubtedly honest.

"She warmed up to it eventually. Foggy was… harder to persuade. Still is sometimes."

"Oh, I have no doubt," she said, referencing the previous hour's events.

"And… and you?"

Her eyes widened in equal parts surprise and confusion.

"Me?" she questioned, sensing Matt's trepidation in the touch they shared. He licked his lips. Began and stopped. He remained silent while he weighed the words he wanted to say, and the anticipation sent her into overthinking.

"How do you feel about… about what you know?"

It tugged mercilessly at her heart to see the agitation in him and how much he tried to stifle it. And for what? For her? He sat there waiting for an answer like there was one to be given besides -

"I think I've known for a while that there was something going on," she began. "Before, I thought maybe you were just the world's most trusting person. You trusted me about Maura. Didn't fire me after Emily."

Matt's amused chuckle lit up his face with mischief.

"And you thought I was just that nice?" he teased easily, eyes crinkling at the corners.

"Not nice. I mean, that too. But also just… You believe in second chances. Granted, I may be on my third or fourth, but now I guess I know why."

Suddenly, Matt drew back an inch, almost startled. His fingers twitched once as if unsure whether to take his hand back from her grasp.

"You - You do?"

She felt like a deer in headlights. He looked like a deer in headlights.

"Um - It was - It was Christmas, right? When I told you - or, sort of told you, I guess. I don't know, I just felt like things changed a little after that. You were… more open with me, and I guess it was because you found out we had something in common. We both can do things other people can't. I thought I was imagining things for a while, but then you walked me home one night after dinner and you didn't have your cane, and I wasn't leading you. I didn't even realize it until I got inside because I was distracted and - "

"Distracted by what?"

Shit. Shit.

"By… Uh…" was her brilliant answer. She couldn't invent a lie on the spot. She hadn't expected him to ask. And she definitely wasn't going to say the words by you. Your scent. Your laugh. The bottle of wine we shared and how you helped me with my coat.

Panicking with every second of silence that passed, she didn't notice the way Matt's expression had shifted.

"You're right. I wasn't trying to hide anymore. But it wasn't just because you were honest with me at Christmas, or because of what we have in common."

She looked up - slowly, because she had to give herself time to process those words, in that tone. Matt's face was pulled into something soft and open. Intimate. A shiver ran down her spine that made the back of her neck tickle with nerves.

"It was exhausting, not having you know. If there's anyone I've ever wanted to tell about me, it's you. When you told me about everything being too much all the time, it felt like something I could've said any day of my life. It felt like you understood in a way no one has, even if they've accepted me and what I can do," he spoke plainly.

She found herself squeezing his hand tightly at the admission, and his shoulders fell with what seemed like immediate relief. It was dizzying in a good way, this almost-confession. No - not almost. It was about as open and honest as anyone had ever been with her, especially knowing what he now knew. She just couldn't believe he'd think she might react poorly. Well, actually… she could very much believe that. Two peas in a pod. She licked her lips before speaking.

"When you told me you wouldn't judge me, that I - that I was safe with you… I don't know why, but I felt like you meant it. People usually say that, and then they find out the truth is more than they can handle," she admitted.

"Can say that again," Matt scoffed lightly, empathizing with her statement. A gentle smile curled her lips.

"You… You didn't do that. You trusted me, even when you had no reason to. Even when I wouldn't tell you how I knew things. That'd be more than frustrating enough to push anyone away, trust me. But, you're still here. And… you've done nothing but show me kindness through all this," she told him, nervousness making her voice shake. It wasn't everything she wanted to tell him, but the thought of being fully honest about her feelings, about him, broke the ceiling on what was considered an acceptable heart rate when not being chased by lions.

Matt looked taken aback for a moment. She knew what angles his face morphed into when he was working something out before announcing it to everyone else, and the hint of a smile on him confirmed that he knew something she didn't. It wasn't long before his eyebrows relaxed and the smile bloomed further.

"I did mean it, what I said that night. But that wasn't everything. I - " he paused, a deep breath he held in for several moments rattling his chest on the way out. He licked his lips and tried not to bite down. She followed the action with great interest. He groaned.

"Matt? Wh-"

"I care about you."

She blinked. The unexpected words joined the rest of the pieces that had been steadily dropped into her lap since she woke up, all of them creating a mess of questions and assumptions she knew better than to make. But those pieces beckoned her anyway, so irresistibly easy to assemble. The way he'd been with her since she woke up in his apartment - in his bed - was difficult not to let go to her head. He'd put down a new pillowcase for her, and then he'd cleaned her arms and hands of any trace of blood. Instead of standing next to her, it felt like he stood guard over her, and he barked at Karen and Foggy alike whenever they did something that made her unconsciously tense with dread.

The taste of cocoa lingered on the roof of her mouth, altered by molten fluffs of pink and white that he'd somehow known she liked. Foggy would know, because he could see her drop them into her cup at the office. But Matt… Matt wouldn't, unless he was paying attention. To her. Unless he was listening and feeling - for her.

He'd been trying to reveal more of himself since Christmas, letting her in bit by bit, sharing pieces of himself both common and extraordinary. She'd never truly seen him without his glasses before. If he took them off once or twice around the office, it was only to rub away at a headache that formed mid-afternoon. She'd never gotten the privilege of looking into his eyes like she did now, and seeing…

She gasped quietly, a whisper of unkempt emotion.

He bought her gloves, the silken kind that always caught her eye in bridal stores. He called her sweetheart more than once today.

I know what she means to you.

The sound all the pieces made as they clicked together left an imprint in her brain. The idiot's lightbulb. Suddenly, his fingers were burning their shape around her hand.

"This probably won't help you calm down, but I can hear your heart racing. I just - I want you to know that you don't have to say anything, or - or try to assuage me. I'm an adult. I can handle-"

"Matthew." Her utterance of his name was enough to reintroduce silence between them. Not for long. "Do you care about me as a friend, or do you care about me… as I do, for you?"

She felt his stutter as much as she heard it, and in the immediate second after, thought that she'd overstepped. Miscalculated. Blew everything all the way to hell. But then…

Then, he reached forward to ask for her other hand. The fragility of his smile stole the air from her lungs. She waited for him to speak like one waited for bus doors to open and save them from a downpour.

"Do I really have to say it?" he asked, a tenderness she'd never heard in his voice tugging at her heart. Combined with the softness in his eyes, she was melting faster than the treats he'd made her cup overflow with.

"It would please the Court, I think," she mumbled, suddenly bashful.

He cooed in response. Her pulse picked up at the sound, and she was pretty sure her neck was burning.

"Sweetheart… You're important to me, more than you know. More than I've let on. I wish this didn't have to happen now, or like this. But I can't hold on to it anymore. Not if you… If you feel the same. And not with your heart beating like that just from talking to me."

She felt her mouth part in shock, a reaction she seldom had. The audacity of him. The smirk. He could rival a pampered house cat in smugness.

"You are not allowed to listen to my heartbeat from now on." But she didn't deny it. It would be hard to, she figured, with how good he was at reading people.

His soft laugh turned into a low groan when she took her hands back from him in mock complaint. He sought them again, a pout forming when she wouldn't return the touch right away. Her breath hitched at the open affection, and she realized he could hear that too. He knew the effect he had on her. Had probably known for months. The thought carried obvious cause to be mortified.

"I don't listen to it on purpose, if it makes you feel better. And I don't hear everyone's heartbeat all the time. I have to focus for that. But yours…" he paused, suddenly the one nervous. "Yours has been in the background of everything I do for a while. I'm used to it. It tells me there's a baseline, a center I can always return to if things become too much. I focus on it and everything else fades."

She mumbled his name in response, not trusting her lips to form any other sound. It was as good a confession as she never had. Nobody had said anything like that to her, especially not after learning the truth of what she could do. It was that reminder that brought down the mood very quickly, and she swallowed around the lump forming in her throat.

"Matt… You need to know that I don't have the control over my ability that you do over yours. I can't focus myself in or out of it. Sometimes it's so overwhelming that I lose consciousness, and other times I don't feel anything. But regardless of what it does to me… These feelings I have aren't something I can act on."

"Something you can't act on because you can't handle it or because you think I can't?"

His question, spoken so bluntly and without judgment, drew tears forward almost instantaneously. Maybe he was a little too good at reading people - her, in particular.

"Because it isn't fair that I can't touch you without taking something from you. Your thoughts, your - your feelings. Your privacy," she tried explaining, unsure whether she was persuading him to arrive at the same conclusion people always did or simply stating the facts.

The reality of her abilities couldn't be understated for this selfish a reason, however wonderful the idea of more with Matt seemed. Honesty was one thing. A complete intrusion into one's most private thoughts was entirely different.

"I don't have anything to hide, sweetheart. Not anymore. Not from you," he said firmly, as though leaving no room for argument. It was both a habit picked up in court and one that he employed whenever his friends got stubborn about pursuing recklessness. She wondered if he was persuading or admonishing her.

"You don't know what you're asking…" she breathed out, suspecting he'd find a way around that too. And of course, he delivered.

"I think I do. I think you do, too. You just don't want to let yourself have it."

Despite his more gentle tone this time, the content of his words yanked exactly the right chain. The confession tumbled out crudely.

"I've never been in charge of that decision."

And there it was: the truth. It didn't matter what she wanted. It didn't matter who knew, or how important they were to her, or how badly she wanted them to stay. If something as simple as touch could make people honest, if it could reveal their secrets, then the decision would always belong to circumstance. Lies existed for more reasons than protecting one's self or hurting another. Lies upheld carefully woven narratives in people's lives, and she would always be the loose thread waiting to be pulled on.

The crux of all her problems stared her right in the face. Maybe it was a mercy that he couldn't do the same, yet the air still burned as he worked out a response she instinctively dreaded.

"You're in charge now. It's your choice. I want this with you, because I think it would make us both happy. But I can't decide for you. Nothing happens if you don't want it," Matt told her.

The delivery was swift. Its effect, compassionate - yet devastating all the same. What Matt was offering, what he was promising with his usual quiet fierceness, was undeniably something she wanted: for someone to know everything… and stay.

The words he'd uttered like an axiom stifled in her mind any objection she might've conjured. Matt's declaration silenced nerves and worries and gathered them all in a pile that now weighed less than before. Believing him was easy. Believing she wouldn't take that trust and find a way to disappoint him… Her breath was rattled.

"You can… You can back out any time you feel like it's too much, or that I - that you're not comfortable-" she tried, but Matt was faster.

He tugged on her right hand and pulled himself just a little closer, quietly bringing her silk-covered knuckles to his lips in a reverent kiss. It was enough to slow her pulse from its unpleasant gallop, but then a different sensation altogether took hold. He seemed to be able to play her body however he pleased, and the realization wasn't making her run away like she normally might've. If the warmth of his lips was scorching her through the gloves, she could hardly imagine what it might feel like with her skin laid bare.

"Not gonna happen. Sweetheart, I know what I want. And I can feel, to some degree, that you want the same thing. You just have to trust me, and say it."

"I trust you," she began quickly, yet hesitation lingered at the edge. She chewed on her bottom lip mercilessly.

"And…?" he asked in the same mellow tone, a secretive smile painting his mouth an even more inviting shape than it had been moments prior. She hesitated again.

"Matt, are you sure you won't mind that I'm-"

"Do you mind that I'm blind?"

The question startled her.

"Jesus Christ, Matt!" she stammered, taken aback.

"Sorry. Lawyer habit. I gotta ask the tough questions." His smirk let her know he was anything but apologetic.

"You are not sorry. Don't give me that. That was horrible," she complained, still in disbelief he would ask something so outrageous. Matt's chuckle brought back the itch to respond like she usually did when he did something cheeky; she delivered a light pinch to his hand that he faked being hurt by.

"Alright, that was a little dirty," he relented, knocking his knee into hers gently. "But, now you get my point."

A small huff preceded her acquiescence to his (apparent) point, and once a breath or two cleansed her lungs of remaining anxiety, she allowed herself to relax for the first time. Matt was still waiting patiently, and she couldn't help but steal another look into his eyes, now gleaming an odd yet fitting garnet from the ever-changing billboard display. The depth of the red in his eyes was only surpassed by his hair, its usual dark brown leaning a breathtaking mahogany shade. She wondered which of the two would more closely resemble the color of his suit. She'd never seen it up close.

"So…" she began, drawing out the word. Matt straightened his spine ever-so-subtly. "Daredevil. That's why your knuckles are always bruised."

Silence.

"Spend a lot of time looking at my hands, do you?"

Panic. Swift, merciless panic. Then, an equally merciless laugh. Matt Murdock was a handful on his best day, and she wanted to get him back at least once.

"Oh, I don't just look," she said, though it felt more like she was channeling Bambi on shaky legs than the sly fox she was picturing. Unfortunately, one of them had honed the art of flirting to perfection, and it wasn't her. She could tell his next words were going to ruin her just by how his lip curled over his teeth.

"You don't have to tell me. You know, I tried to do the right thing for a while. Be a gentleman, not assume things… But it was getting really hard with your pulse racing every time I was close to you. And, just between us two…" he mumbled, leaning in as if telling her a secret. Her eyes were irresistibly drawn to his lips. "Your staring isn't subtle, sweetheart. If you want something, I'd be more than happy to oblige."

Funny, how she thought she could chip at his composure even a little bit. Instead, she was one breath away from getting drunk on his scent. She couldn’t even describe it. His closeness hypnotized her into a needy, vulnerable little thing. He'd leaned into her on purpose. People didn't do that once they knew. If he closed the gap by one more inch, she'd feel his breath on her own lips and she didn't much think she'd be able to just sit there.

"You smell really good," she blurted out, mind shutting down completely. She couldn't even find it in her to regret it.

Matt made a noise like he was pleased and plotting her demise simultaneously.

"Do you have any idea what you smell like right now? Wearing my clothes? My soap on your skin?" he almost taunted, the heat of his words falling somewhere along her cheek. So, so close.

When she said nothing, his grip on her hand tightened and he leaned in even closer, faces almost touching. His breath tickled her ear, and her eyes shut on instinct, goosebumps traveling along her arms.

"You smell like you're mine."

She didn't have time to feel embarrassed at the blood rush that loosened her nerves, because the moment her lips parted and she breathed in his scent through her mouth and nose, her head was angling back to chase the feeling she'd wanted for months. But Matt, faster and more perceptive than she was in the moment, leaned back ever so slightly, one of his hands finding her shoulder and grasping it firmly. His dodging of her gesture would've made tears spring to her eyes if he hadn't immediately followed it up with a low coo.

"You still haven't told me what you want, baby."

The affection, the raw emotion in the pet name as he whispered it against her lips unlocked something in her brain that didn't care to hold back anymore. This close to him, to his skin, all she felt was safety and need - not to run away, but to crash into him. Knowing he wanted to be here, refraining from touching her until she finally asked herself… she'd never been happier to be sitting down, because her knees were fucked.

"I want to kiss you, Matt. And I want… I want to see what this can be, between us. I want to know what it's like to spend more time with you, and I want to stare at you whenever I want and not feel like I'm doing something wrong."

Matt's response was wordless as the hand he'd planted on her shoulder slowly moved down to her waist, pausing there as if waiting for her permission. When she made a small sound of approval, his arm moved to circle her waist and pull her imperceptibly closer, her eyes briefly fluttering shut and a tiny mewl leaving her unexpectedly. Matt's smirk could've devoured her whole.

"You're sensitive here."

Even through the thick material of the hoodie, the warmth of his skin was scorching her own, along with her sanity. His statement - and it was a statement, not a question - rang true, but it applied to more than just her lower back. And for some reason, she felt the need to disclose.

"I'm sensitive everywhere. Just… a lot of years of…" she trailed off, suddenly regretting opening her mouth. Matt's forehead creased delicately, head slightly tilting to the side.

"Sweetheart, when's the last time you were touched like this? When you were… held?"

She blew out a shaky breath, trying to turn her head away from his scent and get some air so she wouldn't cry, but he gently tightened his grip on her, hand rubbing soothing motions at her hip. With the space between them getting closer to non-existent, her hands came up to rest over his chest as she struggled to keep her emotions in check.

"Hey," Matt insisted, voice raspy with his own feelings. "I'm not asking to hurt you. I'm asking so I know… how to do this right. I want to treat you the way you deserve, and something tells me there's some time to make up for, yeah?"

Not trusting her voice, she instead nodded, hoping the motion would be enough for Matt to sense with how close they were. Luckily, he did.

"Then we take it slow, ok? For both our sakes. I don't want you to be overwhelmed, or feel uncomfortable if this is too fast. But… I would still like to kiss you. Do you want that, sweetheart?"

Hopefully, she wouldn't melt into the couch or disintegrate in his arms.

"Yes, Matt. I'd really like to kiss you."

The softness of his smile left her breathless before he even started leaning in, and it awed her to realize that she was about as pliable as wet paper. No trace of tension was left in her body under his careful handling and reassuring words, and her lashes fluttered shut once more as he delicately brushed his lips over hers, holding himself there until she was almost trembling with need. A small whine bubbled up in her throat only to be immediately stifled by the pressing of his mouth on hers, and just like that her mind exploded with color, a flash of burnt orange dancing across the black of her vision. It vanished as soon as it appeared, and immediately, a feeling she couldn't decipher took its place inside her chest. She was bursting with excitement and pride and vertigo and -

Oh.

His lips trapped her top one between them for a moment before his tongue peeked out just so, gently swiping across and turning her further into a smoothie that someone put too much water in. She was so out of practice at this and so dizzy from his touch that the best she could do was try to match his gestures, all while keeping the whines at bay and the trembling to a minimum. If she thought his scent was alluring, the taste of his mouth would have to be filed under some sort of classification along with all the other forbidden substances. Right as she was about to boldly lean closer and entice him to deepen the kiss, he pulled back slowly, pressing an affectionate peck to the corner of her mouth.

It took her what felt like an embarrassingly long time to open her eyes, only to find that Matt hadn't yet done so as they both caught their breath and allowed the silence to linger without discomfort. In the only gesture she initiated thus far, she tipped forward to rest her forehead against his, another flash of orange in a different shade materializing in the back of her mind. Molten lava dripped and flowed in barely distinguishable shapes, fragments of liquid fire consuming her vision at the edges like a piece of parchment set ablaze.

That was what he saw, and the realization had her heart swelling ten times its size.

"Matt," she said, the end of a deep breath curling around his name.

"Mm?"

"Thank you. For everything."

His lips brushed over hers again, wordlessly returning the sentiment.

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Later that evening

"Is Foggy ok?"

The question gave Matt pause as he tilted his head towards her from the kitchen. She eyed the nervous taps his fingers did across the back of the phone he'd just pulled away from his ear, and his silence really didn't help her increasing worry. Following their return from the police station, Matt had answered one, maybe two questions about the entire situation. Beyond figuring out what her statement would be, not much had been discussed between them. The police weren't much more helpful either, and the officer that interviewed her offered the standard response in cases like this.

I'm afraid we cannot offer any more information. This is an active investigation.

At least they were aware that Arthur Gregsby had murdered people, because she wasn't sure she could omit that bit of information from her statement, even if she had no plausible way of knowing those details. Matt had made it clear there was no way for her to tell them anything. His worry was evident and not unjustified, given her history of going about things in an unorthodox way. She wasn't stupid, however. She knew she couldn't point the police in any direction. As far as she was concerned, she was simply the person who'd been there to witness a killer's last few acts on Earth, and it left her so shaken that she fainted from stress. Not entirely false, but Matt still took the time to calm her down after the interview, saying her heart was pattering like a machine gun while she skirted around the truth.

After they left the precinct, her mind was free to wander, and it went, as it so often did, to worrying about those not present. Foggy hadn't been at the station. She wasn't sure if it was because he was really collecting sensitive case files from their office, or if he just wanted to avoid both her and Matt after their fight. At least they'd spoken on the phone, but Matt didn't seem forthcoming about the contents of that conversation either. He was probably debating a diplomatic way of telling her what they'd talked about.

"Matt, is he ok?" she tried again when the silence stretched on.

"He's headed home. The police will need the space for the next few days, and after that, we'll figure something out."

It was exactly the sort of vague spiel he put forward when he hoped further inquiries would be dropped, but she couldn't find it in herself to skirt around the subject any longer.

"Right… What do you mean? I know that forensics usually picks up the - the person's body, but beyond that, I think cleaning up is not really within their… attributes," she finished lamely, setting her fork down. Luckily, she was able to eat some dinner at Matt's insistence, even if it consisted of inoffensive spring rolls and noodles.

"We don't have to talk about that now. We were at the station for three hours," Matt said, joining her at the table and pulling out a chair.

"But we didn't talk about this. And about what we would do-"

"I think a break wouldn't be the worst thing," he interrupted gently. "The holidays are coming up anyway. And after that, we'll find some place else. There's always tomorrow, we don't have to figure everything out now," he explained simply, placing a glass of water in front of her. She looked between it and him a few times, not understanding.

"What other place? What do you mean?"

Matt's expression remained calm and open, eyes softening upon realizing her confusion.

"Another practice," he said, stealing a roll from her takeout box. "Maybe somewhere a bit nicer."

"Somewhere… nicer?" she parroted, unsure what they were discussing.

"Safer. Somewhere that has more than one set of doors, and solid ones too. Maybe somewhere with a doorman, or we could hire our own security."

She blinked a few times while the pieces fell into place, and then it was time to board the guilt train.

"Matt, you don't have to - I don't want you and Foggy to go out of your way to- And hire security? With you there? Wouldn't that be a bit redundant?"

"Evidently, no. It wouldn't be. I wasn't there this morning."

She opened her mouth to reply, but his hand came to rest over hers across the table, effectively making her pause. It felt nice that he didn't hesitate to touch her while she had her gloves off.

"It's not just you. I want everyone to be safe. Foggy and Karen work there too. It could've been them this morning. God knows they've seen their share of horrible things," he said, giving her fingers a gentle squeeze before letting go. Though she could tell from his touch that he was nothing but honest, there was something in his tone that spoke to a frustration he wasn't sharing.

"I'm not sure how likely it is something like this will happen again, Matt. It's kind of an extraordinary situation, don't you th-"

"I don't want you to be in there after what happened," he cut her off, words somewhat clipped. Her brows raised in surprise. He mumbled out an apology while she took a sip of the water he'd brought. "You said you were trying to get used to being around the office without your gloves. I want you to be comfortable. To feel safe. Not sure that's a thing that can happen knowing a murderer left blood everywhere and then killed himself six feet away from your desk."

She winced at his bluntness, though it was not harsh. She understood where he was coming from. Matt's protective side was not completely new; he looked out for those he cared about indiscriminately and always did his best to steer them away from trouble. This, however, felt like more. The same pattern had played out since she woke up in his apartment and right until now: he was trying to throw up a shield between her and everything that might bring even the slightest discomfort, and while she was flattered (and a little flustered), she wanted him to know he didn't have to go through this much trouble for her.

Unfortunately, Matt's mind-reading abilities seemed to grow with every hour they spent in each other's presence. She was turning into an open book.

"If you're going to protest because you think I feel some kind of obligation, I'm stealing all your spring rolls."

She pulled the takeout box towards her in mock pretense.

"Don't you dare."

"Sweetheart, do you really think that's gonna stop me?" he teased, lips curling upwards.

Her heart stuttered at the naked display of arrogance - protective Matt may not have been a new sight, but playful him definitely was. And it definitely didn't make her face warm up with all sorts of feelings.

"No… but I'm hoping, if I ask nicely, you'll take the noodles and leave my rolls alone."

Matt's responding grin warmed her up even further, and her own smile grew at the sight of him relaxing after the earlier tension.

"You drive a hard bargain. Alright, I guess the noodles will do. But, if we're negotiating… I have something to ask too."

Humming in response, she studied his features discreetly while he put his words together. A small smile lit up Matt's face as he twirled the rice noodles around the plastic fork in the box, and she remarked that he hadn't bothered to get his own utensil. That tiny gesture that reeked of intimacy, of something people in a relationship might do, was enough to make her brain fuzzy with warmth. She'd been in his bed and showered at his place. She wore his clothes. They'd hardly left each other's side all day, and now he was playfully stealing her food and using her fork to eat from the same box. It was… nice. And, when she heard his question, the feeling that was taking hold only grew.

"I was thinking, just for tonight and if you're comfortable, I'd like you to stay. I don't want you to be alone after what happened, and we don't know if it's safe yet. It would make me feel better if you were here with me," Matt explained.

Of course, many of the appropriate replies got lost in between her instantaneous guilt and vague excitement, and the only thing that made it past her lips was a tiny, surprised oh.

"Is- You'll have to help me out here, since I can't really tell if that's a good or bad sound without reading your face."

"It's… I'm not really sure either. I guess I'm just surprised, so neutral?" she answered truthfully.

Matt's brows furrowed gently, though he was not upset. His head was tilting only slightly, and she'd learned a while ago that this particular gesture was a small clue into his insecurity. She didn't want to leave him hanging.

"Um, are you sure? Because I'll be ok at home, I guess. I won't lie and say I wouldn't prefer having some company after everything, but you don't have to go out of your way, um… with all that."

"I'm sure. Besides, you'd be doing me a favor. If you went home, I'd probably just stay near your building for the night. This way, I'll be getting some sleep," he grinned brightly, and the revelation that he'd watch over her if she chose to leave was definitely not cracking a whip inside her heart. If the cheeky curve of his smile was any indication, he was well aware of her involuntary response.

"Ok. I'll stay. Please don't also offer to sleep on the couch, because I am drawing a line right there," she said firmly, even if her conviction lacked.

"Are you saying you're drawing a line at us sharing a bed?" he probed with a suggestive smile.

Sharing? Nobody said anything about sharing. Was that - Was he offering? Did she stupidly assume he would try to take the couch, when all along he thought they'd sleep in the same bed? She was panicking worse and worse by the second, looking away and blinking a million times a minute. The silence that stretched between them was almost unbearable. She wanted the ground to swallow her whole.

"You're adorable."

Gaze snapping back to him, she realized just how much he enjoyed messing with her.

"Matt," she whined, having lost control of the conversation - if she ever even had it. That was what she got for trying to out-maneuver a lawyer, especially one as mischievous as Matt Murdock. His boyish chuckle ensured her cheeks remained heated.

"Sorry, sweetheart. I hope you're still staying the night," he placated kindly, though he was having trouble reining in that devious smile.

"If I don't die of embarrassment," she muttered in return.

With another infuriating chuckle, Matt got up from his seat and started clearing the table, dodging her gestures to help. He stole one last roll on his way to the kitchen, making no effort to hide it and smirking at her scandalized gasp. He continued with light conversation while he set about making what she suspected was another round of hot chocolate, and she relaxed a little more as the air between them stayed inviting. It was a fitting distraction from what she knew would not be an easy night once her eyes fell shut, but there were things to look forward to after today that helped her deal with the myriad thoughts making her anxiety flare. Matt, she had a feeling, would always be a grounding presence, and she was grateful for every bit of it that he graciously extended - even if he did tease the hell out of her. Perhaps even more than before, emboldened as he seemed to be by their still-tender confessions. Time would tell just how many flushed cheeks and sweaty palms were in her future, as well as how many complaints she would put forward while she pretended she didn't enjoy this side of him.

"Oh, and I will be on the couch, because it's my place and I make the rules."

Suffice it to say, she'd lose count very quickly.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

4:17 a.m.

A shrill scream tore through the darkness of the apartment, one that summoned him from the makeshift bed with a pounding heart and still-dulled senses. He was running before his legs had time to defrost, and a cramp stabbed through the middle of his foot without mercy as his steps fell on the hardwood like thundering drums.

He couldn't yet orient, but his hands found her shoulders as easily as if she were the only thing they could've grasped in the entire room. As she thrashed against him with startling force and gasping breaths, Matt slammed his hand on his bedside table, listening out for the sound that confirmed the lights had turned on.

"It's me! It's me, sweetheart. You're ok. It was a dream," he said quickly, hands moving to grasp the sides of her face. A mistake he realized too late that he was making, as she was most certainly overwhelmed and would not welcome the additional stimuli from a direct touch. Just as he went to remove his hands, her own came up to clasp over them, too-tightly pressing them back where they'd been. Her temperature was abnormal and her pulse a never-ending rumble, startling him as he sat next to her.

"You have a fever. It's - It's high. Your blood pressure's through the roof. You need to calm down. Breathe with me," he said firmly, trying not to let his emotions get away from him.

But she wouldn't listen. In the stupor and chaos, among her disordered breaths and pounding heart, she was stuttering two words like one last, desperate prayer.

"He's innocent."

-fin-

.

A/N: So there is it, the end! This isn't so much a cliffhanger, as it is a way for me to leave something to potentially come back to in case I want to continue writing about these two. I consider it a complete story, and you're free to imagine what else might happen with this thread. I hope you liked it and let me know what you thought of the story. It is the last thing I'll be posting on tumblr, and I had a good time writing it.

Tags: @boiled-onionrings @victoriasnook @whourish @i-readtoo-much @dinosun @starr60 @thespiderthatbitme @hellskitchenswhore @fixitforever @namelessig @gooddigitalbookshelf @buckyshattergirl @nikkinew95

The rest of you I couldn't tag because tumblr wouldn't let me.

[carters-things]

Hi! Ily writing and I was wondering if you could do Matt inspired by my tears ricochet by Taylor Swift please? Maybe he fakes his death and the reader starts to become really sad and cries a lot and she bascially cuts everyone out of her life including Karen and Foggy but then Matt comes at back when she's at her home or his grave. Change anything you like!

ok bestie this one was HARD! I'm not a huge t-swift fan so listening to this on repeat for the past like 3 days has been a rough time for me lol But this is really angsty and I hope you enjoy it!

Send me your song/fic requests!

“A place for all those whose bodies couldn’t come home”

You stood at the weather faded head stone, the inscription reading blurry through tear filled eyes. The dull ache in your chest has remained persistent since Matt died, today however, the loneliness is just short of debilitating. Today is Matt’s birthday… You had a whole day planned for the two of you, but instead you did it all alone in an attempt to feel him close to you again. The side of your bed that belonged to Matt was ice cold when you woke up, a stiffening reminder of his absence. The food at his favorite restaurant tasted bitter, and the music in the park you both loved to listen to now sounds off key. As you knelt down you placed your hand on the cold stone, “I miss you Matty…”

“We miss you too, buddy” A familiar voice rang behind you. Foggy and Karen joined your sides at the grave. You let out a sigh as you began to get up to leave. You haven’t spoken to them since the funeral, and you didn’t want to start now. Karen’s hand reached out, grabbing your wrist to keep you from leaving.

“Please y/n.. Don’t go…” She whispered. A small part of you missed her and Foggy, but the more time you spent with them the more you missed Matt. It was impossible to be around them without the hollow feeling inside of you growing deeper and deeper. Everything they said and did reminded you of all the times when Matt was around.

“I can’t do this with you guys today.” You pull your wrist away, Karen’s hand falling to her side.

“You always say that. You don’t have to push us away. You aren’t alone y/n, you weren’t the only one who lost Matt. You aren’t the only one hurting here.” Foggy’s voice has the slightest undertone of frustration.

“He was your best friend. I get that. However, Matt is gone, that doesn’t mean you need to be friends with me anymore. We all know you only tolerated me because I was involved with Matt.”

“That is the farthest thing from the truth, and you know that. We love you and we miss you. Please, don’t shut us out.” Karen says softly, the lump in her throat adds a slight rasp to her words.

“I think I should go.” You pick up your jacket and reach for your bag when Foggy places a hand on your shoulder.

“No, stay, we’ll go. Just please know, we are always here for you. You were our friend just as much as Matt was.” Foggy removes his hand as he walks away with Karen. If things were different, if Matt were here, you would have run after them… Things are different now though, you aren’t the same person you were when Matt was here.

You sit back in your spot beside the gravestone, your back leaning against its edge. Desperately searching for some sort of way to connect your touch to Matt again. “I miss you in my bones Matt. I don’t know why you had to go around and play hero, all it did was take you away from me…” As badly as you want to cry for Matt, no tears come. Just a numb feeling encompassing your entire body as you sit in the grass alone. You run your fingers along the ring on your finger, a gift from Matt that hasn’t come off since the day he gave it to you. It was his promise one night that he would always come home from his nights out.

“You’re still wearing the ring I gave you.” The sound of Matt’s voice comes from behind you. Afraid to believe it, you remain seated against the headstone. It wasn’t until he himself was standing over you that your heart sunk to your stomach. Scrambling to your feet you stand face to face with Matt, you hold your breath trying to get a grip on reality.

“M-Matt?” You say fearfully, more afraid of him to say yes, than for it all to be in your head.

“Hi my love.” His lips curl into the smile that you know all too well, however, it doesn’t give you the butterflies that it did before.

“You’re alive?” Matt starts to take steps towards you, but you keep the distance between the two of you by stepping backwards. Matt senses your hesitation and stops his advancements, allowing you time to process his return.

“I know it’s hard to believe, but-”

“You’re, alive!?” your voice raised well above your normal speaking tone.

“Sweetheart, please listen-” Matt pleads with you to try and settle the escalating situation but you continue to cut him off.

“Where did you go?” Your tone is short and aggravated with Matt. How could he think he could just show up here after 4 months of being “dead” and act like nothing's wrong, like he didn’t just leave behind everyone he loves to mourn him with no explanation.

“I was staying where I grew up until I recovered.” Matt’s demeanor seems to shift to something a little more defensive, as if anticipating you to throw a punch at him, which you are mere seconds away from doing.

“You should have stayed there. Why did you come here?” You cross your arms to keep from shoving Matt down into a grave yourself.

“I wanted to-, needed, to see you.” He tries to take another step towards you but the racing of your heart tells him to stop.

You start to pace in an effort to slow your racing thoughts. “So all those nights I spent screaming at the sky, missing you, cursing you and wishing you stayed, going out and anywhere in the city but home, you heard that? All of it?” Your stance stops suddenly in front of him. His breath hitches in his throat as he visibly sinks into himself. The wave of realization washed over him that this isn’t going to be the reunion he anticipated it to be. A sheepish “yes” comes from his lips.

“And you didn’t have the decency to tell the person that you supposedly “love” that you were alive? You let me sit for months, months, Matthew! Sitting around wishing it were me instead. Crying and pushing everyone away because the memories of you that were tied to them were too painful to relive. ”

“I am so sorry. I should have come for you sooner… I wasn’t sure how to come to you though, or what I would say, so instead I waited for the right time.. But that time never seemed to come…”

You took in a deep breath as you watched tears fall from behind Matt’s glasses, biting his bottom lip to keep himself from falling apart. You slowly closed the gap between the two of you as you took his hand and opened his palm. You took off your ring and set it inside his hand before curling his fingers closed around it.

“You should be sorry Matt… Because the old me died right along with you. You came back, but I don’t think I ever can.” You grabbed your jacket and bag and left Matt standing at his grave, never turning back to see him.

[reaperintheroses]

Your Anchor

Matt Murdock x GN!Reader Word Count: 816 (just a wee little thing) Warnings: angst, with a happy ending, reader is definitely going through it, reader needs a huge hug, feelings of depression, feelings of loneliness, un-beta’d, and swearing, but it’s me so, like, duh. A/N: I’m definitely going through it at the moment and I know a ton of other people are too so I hope this can bring a little bit of comfort to your day. If you are reading this, please know you are so so loved and if you ever need someone to talk to my dm’s and asks are always always always open to whoever needs them.  if you know someone who could use some Matt Murdock lovin’ (because let’s be honest, don’t we all) feel free to tag them in the comments or reblog, it would mean a lot!

You wiped away at the sniffle that began to build up in your throat. You fought the tears threatening to shed. Everything felt so pointless and worthless. Like there was no meaning to life except to survive. Your world was just a mix of black and white. You curled your legs closer to your chest, your toes gripped the couch. You hoped the feeling would ground you but instead it just made your blood curl.

You heard the front door open and keys jingle. His cane broke apart and snapped together as he sat it down on the bench next to the door, along with what you assumed was his briefcase. Shit, you didn’t want him to see you like this. He saw so much hurt and pain everyday, you didn’t want to bring it into his one safe place too. The one place that was meant to be his break from all the shit that went on in the world. You sniffled and rubbed a hand over your face, attempting to put on a brave smile, even though you knew he couldn’t see it.

“Hey, Matty. How was work?” Your voice wavered the smallest bit but it didn’t matter. If he asked you could say you just woke up from a nap. His shoulders sagged as he bent down to take off his shoe. “That bad, huh?” His face bent into a sad smile and you were sure you would see some form of pity in his eyes if he wasn’t still wearing his glasses. He padded over to your place on the couch and you knew immediately that if he asked you, you wouldn’t be able to lie to him. But this wasn’t about you, this was about Matt. You weren’t going to be selfish if his day was terrible and make it about you, what kind of terrible partner would do something like that?

He reached a hand out to your face, his palm encompassing your cheek. His thumb stroked up and down your face. You felt comforted, knowing that regardless of whatever was going on he would still take a minute for you. You bit your lip gently to stifle any noises that were about to come out of your mouth from your sudden resurface in emotion. You saw him tilt his head at the small whimper that escaped you. Fuck. How could you be so selfish to let your terrible day affect how you take care of him? Everyone was right about you. You weren’t useful for anything and you were a terrible partner, Matt should just leave you and-

“Hey, hey! Breathe, Sweetheart.” Your chest rattled as you tried to calm yourself down, trying to stall your racing thoughts. “Whatever’s going through that pretty little head of yours, I guarantee it’s not true.” You wiped away a stray tear that managed to fall in your small anxiety attack. “You are so loved. By me, by Foggy and Karen, and by everyone else who you manage to touch with your light.” Your lip wobbled as you smiled again. He reached out and pulled your side, leading you into his lap. “Now you want to tell me what’s got you feeling so sad?” Your hand gripped the fabric of his pants, scrunching it. “It doesn’t matter anyway. You obviously had a terrible day at work, I should be comforting you.” His hands began to run through your hair, scratching at your scalp. “My day at work was fantastic. The only thing that made it upsetting was knowing you weren’t okay, and even if it wasn’t, it's your right to feel however you feel and seek comfort when you need it. I’m your boyfriend, it’s what I’m here to do.” You turned your face so that it was pressed up against his leg, you didn’t want to openly cry, regardless of if he could see it or not.

His other hand began to rub up and down your back, trying to shush and sooth your cries. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I feel so numb except for feeling sad, I’m just surviving not living.” Matt's hand stalled for a moment before he started his motions again. “I can’t promise that it will magically get better overnight, or that a hug and a kiss is going to make all the hurt go away but I promise that no matter what happens I will always be here for you, no matter what.” You turned your head up to face him and smiled again. “Thank you,” you whispered as he pulled you in closer. “Feel whatever you need to feel, I promise I’ll be here on the other side.” You felt your tears begin to slip down again, but this time you let them flow freely. As long as you had Matt as your anchor you knew, deep down, it would all be okay.

[xixxala]

Matt: Self care is actually getting into fights with randoms in dark alleys.

y/n: No, self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice warm nap!

Frank: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you!! Self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists!! Self care is the fear in your enemies’ eyes!!!

y/n: Guys...

[petertingle-yipyip]

JEALOUSY, JEALOUSY - MATT MURDOCK

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Reader

Word Count: 1,714

Summary: When you step out for a bit of cardio, you come back to a questionable scene. But your completely devoted boyfriend never falters.

The past 48 hours - give or take - had been an absolute nightmare. Matt had the brilliant idea of taking on his self proclaimed enemy on his own. The idiot came back covered in blood and slices, clattering around your bedroom and knocking over everything. The loud crashes woke you up, just in time for him to fall over as if dead and give you a heart attack. You ended up falling off the bed when you scrambled to get up since your feet were tangled in the blankets.

You hadn’t realized Foggy was outside the door and heard the entire commotion, which caused him to burst in and discover Matt’s secret.

You sat with him and Foggy all night as they argued. You tried defending Matt and you agreed with Foggy’s points too. Ultimately, playing Switzerland in their war didn’t work out well.

After Karen left that morning, you mixed your usual workout drink and went out for a run. You went up and down the building’s stairs a couple times, ran about two miles, walked back, and then did a quick cardio circuit up on the roof.

By the time that was done, you were definitely hungry for some lunch. You wiped your sleeve across your eyes and mouth as you went to the door to the apartment. You opened it carefully in case Matt was asleep, but you found the opposite.

Before you could say anything and announce your arrival, you heard her voice. Claire. Gently, you closed the door behind you and tapped your screen to pause the music. You slipped your headphones back into the case quietly before shoving both into your pocket. You were glad you hadn’t entered through the front door.

You pushed your tongue against the inside of your cheek while you scoffed softly. You ran a hand down your face to wipe the expression off as you leaned over the top railing, waiting to be discovered by the nurse. You watched with interest as Claire interacted with Matt. Matt’s attention shifted towards your direction and you saw his eyebrows raise slightly. You rolled your eyes and clicked your tongue softly.

Matt smirked that lazy, amused smirk he always did before returning his attention to Claire. You chewed the inside of your lower lip to keep your mouth shut. You pulled the sleeves of your jacket up and rubbed your hands together, an effort to move the heat radiating off your skin to your chilled digits.

“Well I got to see you with your shirt off so… That’s a plus.” Claire smiled, earning a small chuckle from Matt. You silently mocked her, shaking your head to punctuate your own annoyance.

“Thank you. And I know I say it a lot - probably doesn’t mean much anymore - but thank you.” Matt replied kindly.

They finished their small conversation before the door shut. You leaned over a little further to ensure she was gone before you looked back to your boyfriend. There was a silence that settled over you two for a few moments and you could feel it thickening in the air.

You didn’t doubt Matt could feel it, could probably feel your stare burning into his head too. He knew you were there. He would’ve heard you come in, heard that final deep breath from the other side of the door. He would’ve heard the water moving around your bottle and the faint music still playing in your headphones, the gentle scuff of your trainers against the floor and the light jingle of your keys in your pocket.

He would’ve felt the air shift as you opened and closed the door. He would’ve smelled your deodorant and the fruity smell of your workout supplements on your breath, even the sweat you had wiped away from your face.

“You’re staring at me, aren’t you?” He asked, turning his head up to you.

“You’re damn right I am.” You answered quickly as you hopped down the stairs and avoided the broken last step completely. That was a repair project slated for later that day after his fight with Stick just a few nights before. You slammed your water bottle on the coffee table - admittedly harder than you needed to - so both hands were free to gesture, though he wouldn’t see it. “What the hell was that?”

“What, Claire?” He asked innocently. You weren’t sure if he was joking or if he was really that clueless. And that made you want to punch him in his pretty face. “She- I needed her to stitch this up again. You were on a run so I called her.”

“Mmm.” You nodded, sucking your teeth as you crossed your arms. Matt huffed slightly at your reaction and offered a small pout. “That’s all? Just stitches?”

“Yes.” He nodded firmly.

“Right.” You rolled your eyes and stepped around him. Before you passed him, he reached out and grabbed your forearm. “What?”

Matt’s head was turned in your direction but he looked down. He was focusing on something other than your words as his thumb moved in small strokes against your skin so you yanked your arm away. You wondered what he was focusing on… Your heart? Your breathing? Maybe how sweaty you still were?

“You’re… jealous?” He teased.

“Of her?” You asked incredulously as you threw a hand in the direction of the door. You almost wished he would’ve just commented on your sweaty hair. “Oh please.”

“You are!” A cocky smile crossed his face.

“Shut up, Murdock.” You scoffed and made your way to the couch, purposefully stepping around him. “I’m not jealous of her.”

“So why was your skin so warm?” He asked as he sat beside you.

You mentally cursed yourself. Of course he noticed. He reached for your hand and while you defiantly crossed your legs, you let him. You ran the other hand over your neck and under your jacket to your chest. It was a lame attempt to cool down and even you had to admit that you were clearly warm.

“You’re about a degree and a half warmer than usual. And your heart-“ He leaned in and placed his head on your chest. “-is beating pretty fast.”

“I think you just wanted to put your head on my chest.” You joked and pulled your hand free of your shirt to pat the top of his head.

“Can’t blame me, sweetheart.” He shrugged weakly before turning and placing a small kiss on your sternum.

“Besides, I was on a run. Of course my heart rate is elevated and I’m gonna be warm.”

“Hmm, not like this.” He answered softly before carefully leaning back so he could face you. He put his hand on your thigh and gave a gentle squeeze. “I know your heart rate, Y/N.”

“I should be so lucky.” You replied with a small eye roll as you crossed your arms. “Tell me about my heart rate then.”

“It’s strong.” He began gently. “It almost never falters… It hardly ever gives anything away for you. It’s like- I can’t even put words to it. Your resting heart rate is pretty steady, and you regulate fairly quickly. So unless you sprinted up the stairs - which, judging by your breathing isn’t the case - something else is making your heart beat faster.”

“It’s nothing, Matt.” You used your free hand to pat his cheek gently while you smiled softly. No matter what, you always adored how he knew the little things.

“Your hands are cold.”

“Yeah, that happens.” You shrugged gently. “I think I’m anemic.”

“Hmm.” He hummed. “So what’s bugging you?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“You’re tense, too.” He smiled knowingly as he adjusted on the couch so he could lay his head in your lap.

“Careful, Matty.” You said gently after he groaned. “Or you’ll have to call your new girlfriend for more stitches.”

“And this.” He reached up and tapped your crossed over thigh, ignoring your latest comment. “You sit like this when you’re full of adrenaline. So either you’re jealous of Claire or you wanna kick my ass too?”

“I should kick your ass for flirting with her.” You sighed as you put your free hand under his head. You flattened your legs and extended them slightly so he could lay at a better angle. “Better?”

“Mhmm.”

“She has a crush on you, Murdock.” You explained, gently running your fingers through his hair. “And you have to be this- this sweet, charming, handsome badass that just so happens to need stitches. You’re like the perfect damsel in distress.”

“Did you just call me handsome?” He smiled.

“And a damsel.”

“And a damsel.” He laughed.

“But seriously, have you seen yourself?” You laughed.

“Not since I was a kid, no.” He shook his head as he suppressed his smile.

“Or would you prefer ‘hottie’? Dreamboat is an old one, but it works too. Or maybe pretty boy?”

“It all sounds perfect coming from you, angel.”

“Well you look like shit right now but that’s cause you’re also stupid as hell.” Your fingers gently passed over the injuries on his face while you frowned. The cuts, the bruises, the swelling. “But overall, yes. You’re very handsome.”

“I like hearing you say that.”

“I bet.” You smiled softly. “You do know that she’s into you, right?”

He shrugged. “I don’t care.”

“You should.”

“Why? Because as far as I’m concerned, I come home to you every night. You are my priority, always.”

“I like hearing you say that.”

“But do you believe it?”

“Yeah, I know.” You said lightly.

“Y/N.” He said honestly. “You do know that I don’t need anyone but you? What woman could compare?”

“I could rattle off a handful of books that end with the edgy, brooding bad boy falling for the sweet, gentle girl that just wanted to take care of him.”

“Okay… Sure.” He nodded after a moment of thought. “But I already did that.”

He reached out and his hand found your jaw. He gently squished your cheeks, which made you laugh. You pulled your face away and took his hand in yours instead. You kissed his bruised knuckles while he squeezed your hand.

“I’m already in love with you, Y/N… My Y/N.”

“I love you too, Matty.”

[vintageaesthetic20]

New obsession alert.🔥

P.s. i kinda want Daredevil and Deadpool to meet.

[deanszeppelinlover]

Begging Matt to come home because you’re horny headcanons: (18+)

• Matt picks up the landline in his office.

• “Nelson and Murdock, this is Matthew.”

• “Hi Matty.”

• “Hi baby.”

• He’d be all smiley wondering why you called,

• “What time are you coming home? I miss you.” He’d hear a glimmer of something in your voice.

• “I’ve only been gone for a few hours, Y/N, I’ll be home at six-thirty. I’m always home at six-thirty.”

• “It’s only noon.” You would so whine and drag it out.

• “What’s wrong? Are you feeling okay?” Totally concerned.

• “Just, need you Matty.” Your desperate voice would finally catch him on.

• “Bunny, you called the landline anyone could pick up and hear you.”

• You’d be panting in the phone

• “You said it was gonna be a slow day. Take a long lunch.” You begged.

• “Don’t tease me.”

• “M’ not. Need you to come home Matty.”

• He’d let a long sigh into the phone.

• “I’m gonna be there in fifteen minutes. Don’t think that me coming over there means you’re getting what you want. You’re gonna have to work for it.”

• He’d hang up so fast and barely give Foggy an excuse about leaving. Slipping his coat on and trying to open the door to leave all at once.

• When he got home you’d be in so much trouble….

• “Bothering me at work because you’re just that horny? When did you become such a whore y/n? Do you know what guys like me do to whores like you?”

Ok now I wanna make this a full fic… gimmie your thoughts….

tags:

@Prprincessotaku @lavendersfairy @sophialikesmarvel @vintaqejournal @zoekrs @Delmoyy @brocken-ballz @spencer-reids-wrld @lovessfandoms @chaoticweasleys @thewinterschildren178

italicized @‘s we’re unable to be tagged! :(

[angst-cravings]

let you break my heart again (2)

part 1 | part 1.5

summary: you take the leap.

pairing: matt murdock x reader

words: 2.2k

an: i rewrote this like three times and i’m still not happy with how it turned out, bi foggy, you make the first move, gender neutral reader

cw: mild angst, fluffy, some explicit language

You didn’t know this, but later that night, Karen and Foggy started scheming. Foggy wasn’t dumb, and he’s known how you both have felt for a long while. Maybe they’d try to get you two alone in the office tonight. Or they could stage a dinner where they’d have to cancel. Every plan had a flaw. If you two were alone in the office, you might just end up working alone. Or at the dinner, no one would say anything to each other. Karen decided that it’d be best if she sat down and talked to you seriously. Although you’ve always been good at reading people, Matt was far, far better. You just needed the confidence to confess. Foggy was far less engaged in the conversation that Karen was.

Truth be told, it did kind of hurt. Foggy wasn’t in love with you (he hasn’t been since college), and he always wanted you to be happy, but he always held a tiny bit of resentment towards Matt for being far more successful in relationships than he was. Or maybe he held a tiny bit of resentment because he wasn’t the one in the relationship with him. Either way, the planning to get you two together was bittersweet. He’d be happy for you two if it went well. Or at least he tried to convince himself that was true. 

“There is literally no way he doesn’t like you. He always responds differently from when me or Foggy talk to him.” Karen is perched on the edge of your desk, legs slightly swaying.

“Well he’s clearly not pining over me! And this is how he’s always treated me, it’s probably just because of Foggy. When he gets here he’s probably going to start talking with him about that woman he slept with last night.” 

You glance over your desk, case files strewn about haphazardly. Everything is putting you on edge, including the chaos on your desk that is reflecting your current mental state, “Just like every other night after we go to Josie’s. Half of me wants to stop going just so I don’t have to see it. It hurts, Karen. I just want to get over him.” Your face falls into your cold palms, and you feel like your button-up is suffocating you. 

“Maybe you should say something to him.” You hear her rise and you feel the gentle touch of her hand on your back.

“Maybe… I’m just so scared. I don’t want to fuck anything up.” You admitted, looking up at her kind face.

“I know. But sometimes we have to take risks. That’s why you guys started this firm. That’s why we do so much pro-bono work. And you both are mature enough to not let something like this affect your work.”



And that’s when Foggy enters. Karen stands up a little straighter and removes her hand from your back.

“Morning you two!” He’s cheery, as usual. That was half the reason you appreciate his friendship. It was ironic that his nickname was Foggy, because you always pictured him as the one who could clear the clouds away.

“Good morning Foggy. How was Josie’s last night?” You inquire with a faux nonchalance. You really just want to hear about Matt’s escapades and if he had really gone home with that woman, but you obviously weren’t going to let Foggy know.

“Oh you know, the usual. Karen left not too long after you, but I’m sure she’s told you that. Matt did seem a little off last night though.” He opens the door to his office, puts down his bag, and leans against the doorway of your office. “Oh?” You can’t tell what his comment made you feel. A cauldron of emotions swirl in your stomach. 

“Yeah, after you two left we kind of just sat there as he stared off into space. More so than usual.” Your mouth turned up slightly at his comment. You were a little confused though, there’s no reason that he would feel that way. Maybe something happened that day that you missed. Part of you started to regret going home early.

“So he… never went home with that woman? She was really gorgeous, that’s a shame.” “Yeah, I think he was too out of it to seal the deal. Something’s up with him, and I can’t quite place it. You’d think I knew my best friend a little better.” 

You gasp, faking offense. “I cannot believe you’d call him your best friend when I am right here Foggy.” The grin you were trying to hide to punctuate your teasing creeps up onto your face. Then the door opens. 



“I’m your best friend?” Speak of the devil and he shall arrive. He has on a crisp suit with a burgundy tie. It’s one of your favorite colors on him, it compliments his glasses. He has a large brown paper bag in his hands.

Foggy pauses for the briefest moment. “Yeah, you are. They left us last night at Josie’s all alone, so I think they deserve a demotion of the best friend title.”

“Yeah, well I had a headache, so you’re the bad friend for not being considerate of my feelings.” 

“Speaking of, why didn’t you say something before you left last night? I wanted to say goodnight.” Matt walked over and gently placed his hand on your shoulder. 

You could feel your heart start to pound, and you couldn’t discern whether it was over the touch or anxiety about the question that you didn’t want to admit the answer to. “Uh… well I didn’t really want to bother you. You seemed… preoccupied.” You force a smile.

“Well, you are more important than her. You should say something next time,” Your heart skips a beat, and his hand falls from your shoulder, “I, uh, I brought bagels for everyone.” As Matt shows everyone the bag, you see the logo of the bakery beneath your apartment.

“Thank you so much!” Foggy immediately goes to grab a bagel, and goes to his office, “No rest for the weary! I’m going to work on the Maddison case, you all should get to work soon too.” His office door shuts, and Karen nods.

“I should probably get to work too. I have a lot to do today.” You shoot her a glare, knowing that she’s just trying to get you two alone. She smirks, and you sigh as you watch her escape to her office.



“When did you go to the bakery?” You try to make your question nonchalant, but you can hear your voice betray your interest. “I guess after you left, since you weren’t there when I was there.”

“What, did you want me to be there?” You teased, but you could feel the rush of blood reach your cheeks. You silently prayed thanks that Matt could not see you.

“And what if I did?” Your breath catches in your throat. 

You quickly recompose yourself. “I mean that thought process is valid, I would want to see myself too.” You hope your smirk can cover the way you reacted to his statement.

“That’s where you have it wrong. I wouldn’t see you there,” A smug look forms on his face as you roll your eyes. 

“Whatever Matt.” 

“You love my jokes.”

You grab a bagel and usher him out of your room. “I actually have work to do, so I’ll talk to you later.”



Matt stiffens at the sound of a knock at his office door. He was so absorbed in the case he was reading that he tuned everything else out. He takes a second and recognizes Foggy at the door.

“Come in.” He raises his voice just a little so Foggy can hear him. 

“Hey, uh, Matt, can we talk?” Foggy shuts the door behind him and sits in front of Matt’s desk.

“Of course,” Matt shifts some of his papers, “What’s up?”

Foggy takes a deep sigh, and pauses before he forms his words, “You should tell them.”

Matt freezes. “W-what do you mean, Foggy?” He tries to laugh away the nervousness in his statement, and anyone else probably would have fallen for it.

“I said, you should tell them. It’s really obvious that you like them, and I can’t stand watching you two dance around each other’s feelings even though you share them.” Foggy seems sincere, but there’s some other emotion that leaves a subtle aftertaste in Matt’s mouth. 

“I know, they’re pretty damn good at hiding their emotions,” Foggy shifts in his seat to inch a little closer to Matt, “but I think it’s pretty obvious that they like you. Take it from their best friend.” “Hey, I thought you said that I was your best friend.”

“Well, you both are,” Foggy changes back to his more playful demeanor, “Anyways, here’s the plan. We’re going to order takeout for the office, and then Karen and I get pulled away by a phone call. Then you two will be all alone. You should say something or you’re probably going to regret it.” He stands up, and opens Matt’s door.

Matt can’t get a retort in before his door is open. “Alright, well, thanks for helping me out Foggy.” 



The smell of Chinese takeout hits your nose, and you immediately leave your office. “Thank God, I am so fucking starving.” “Yeah, well, don’t be too excited, because I actually got a call from a friend and they’re in the hospital right now,” Karen says, “So I’m going to go make sure they’re okay.” 

“Oh my God, is everything alright?” Your eyebrows furrow in concern. “Yeah, they said it’s just minor, but I just want to check on them. Here’s the takeout, have a nice dinner. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Karen puts the takeout down onto the counter.

“Yeah, call me if you need anything Karen.” You change your phone from silent to vibrate as Karen scurries out of the office. Foggy and Matt step out of their offices as you start unpacking the food. Everyone has a usual order, and you set them out according to the order.

“Smells delicious. I heard Karen leaving?” Matt walks up, cane in hand, and grabs his order.

“Yeah, one of her friends is in the hospital. I hope they’re okay.” Your face is covered in worry, and you can only pick at your food. You hear the ring of a phone, and watch as Foggy picks it up.

“Hey man, what’s up? Oh fuck, I’m so sorry, I’ll swing over right away. I’m so sorry, I totally forgot. I’ll be there in ten minutes,” He quickly hangs up the phone, “Sorry, I promised Tom I was going to help him move. I’ll see you both tomorrow though!” Foggy grabs his food and rushes out the door.



“And then there were two.” The corner of Matt’s mouth was slightly lifted.

“Yeah…” Your heart starts racing, and you silently are thankful that you get some time alone with him. The air is silent and awkward for a few minutes. You swallow hard, and decide to take a leap. It was now or never.

“Hey, uh, have you ever had this before?” You gesture towards your food, knowing that Matt could probably pick up on the context.

“No, actually. It smells really good though.” He smiles, and takes a bite of his own food.

“Would you like to try?” You start panicking slightly, but you’ve already taken the first step. You won’t back down now.

“Sure.” He grins at you, and your heart leaps. His smile has always been one of your favorite things about him.

You grab a piece of your food with your chopsticks, and walk towards him. 

“Open your mouth.” You lower your voice. 

He looks like he’s about to protest, but opens his mouth, and you place it on his tongue. He closes his mouth around your chopsticks, and you gently draw them out from between his lips. The face he makes is beautiful, and he makes a soft Mmm sound as he savors the food.

“This is really good. I can see why you order it.” “Do you want another taste?” You hold your breath. 

“Sure, you can have-” You cut him off with a kiss. 

You can taste the tang of the sauce on his lips, and you know he can too. The kiss feels like a sigh of relief. You’ve wanted to do this for such a long time, and although your nerves are tainting it, at least you’ll have done it at least once. You were kind of proud of yourself, usually Matt was the one with the smooth pickup lines. Yours wasn’t the best, but it was still pretty cheesy. You hear Matt set down his takeout container to pull you closer to him, deepening the kiss. You gently push away, and you rest your hands on his broad chest.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this.” He barely breathes out, his voice so quiet you can barely hear him.

“I could say the same thing to you.” You grin, and his face mirrors yours.

[yourloverfromthepast]

Marvel characters bumping into you while meditating! (Except we’re in my DR)

Author’s note: No, unfortunately I haven’t shifted yet but this is how I like to imagine it... *clears her throat* OK LET’S GO-

Matt Murdock, opening the door: Hey y/n, I have a favor to a- I’m sorry, am I interrupting something? Hi Karen.

Karen: Hi!

Y/n: Oh hey! Nonono! Don’t even think about it! You never bother Matt. Wanna join? 

karen: Yeah! Come on, sit with us! Trust me it will be extremely relaxing.

Matt: Actually-

Y/n: Yes mister Murdock, we do know you already meditate, but I’m pretty sure you need it more than anyone else right now.

Matt: *leans against the door* ...

Y/n: Aaaand I’ll take your silence as a yes. Lemme grab some other incense..

After ten minutes...

Foggy, opening the door: Hey y/n have you seen Ma- 

*You all raise your head without saying anything*

Foggy: ...

Foggy: I won’t ask. *He turns to leave but reenters the room* No, actually, can i join?

[poemsforparker]

matt murdock pls where his wife is like a rival vigilante (they don’t know about each other) and one time he beats her up really badly in a fight and then her ring falls off and he realises and it gets really angsty but then it ends in fluff.. tyyy

double (couple) life - matt murdock 16+

(not my gif) | marvel masterlist

pairing: matthew murdock (daredevil) × f!reader

warnings: angst, past trauma, death, grief, weapons, blood, violence description

a/n: I know in practice Matt would probably know in the blink of an eye who you were though smell, voice and all that but let’s just ignore all that here and come with me. Thank you anon for trusting I’d do a good job with ur idea <3 I’m sorry I took so long, I suck.

"When the sun sets, we're both the same" - Beautiful Crime

It has always been like that.

You didn't ask to many questions. And neither did he.

All those marks covering your bodies, bruises that were abnormally deep and constant for regular citizens, even at the constant chaos state of New York city.

A part of you knew, both of you knew, really, that you had a darker side you didn't let anyone else see, not even your most trusted ones. You were too afraid of judgement, too afraid to hurt those you loved the most.

You unconsciously accepted that part of each other, even not knowing fully what it meant but you loved each other fully, deeply and hopelessly. You couldn't see a life without Matthew and he couldn't see a life without you.

This was a common afternoon at Nelson, Murdock & Page's office, you dropped by to bring your husband his lunch, hearing small talk as you entered the room.

"She's not that bad." You listen to Karen state about whoever was the conversation subject.

"They found more bodies in the same M.O, Karen, the scenes left behind are not pretty to see... she's dark." Foggy completes.

"Yeah, might be. But the man she killed were disgusting so I kinda could see it coming."

"Karen." Foggy's tone was reprehensible.

"What? It's true."

You enter the room and they both turn your way, Karen smiles warmly welcoming you in. "He said he went to bring lunch for you today." She laughs at how clingy you both were, having the same idea in the same day.

"No way." You laugh along with her. "You think I should wait for him to come?" As the words out your mouth you hear your phone ring. Matt's nickname showing up on the screen.

"I can't believe we had the same idea." You could hear he was smiling even though the phone.

"It seems like it, Matty."

"Don't get out, I'll be there in a sec. Love you."

"I love you too. See ya." You hang up and wait for him, entering the conversation Karen and Foggy were having the second you came into the office. They were sharing opinions on the new vigilante in town.

You.

You shift your weight on your feet, nervous about where was the subject going and wanting nothing more that Matt walking in that door to give that discomfort an end.

"What do you think."

"Huh?" You blink confused after zoning out for what seemed like minutes.

"Do you think she's fair?"

"I-I-" You clean your throat "I mean she only kills bad man, right? Rapist, murderers. If you ask me, they deserve it." You shrug nervously.

Karen nods in agreement and Foggy seems to rather stay shut. You hear the creek of the door open and smile widely at the sight of the man in a suit. He always would look breathtaking for you. "Hey, love."

Matt smiles widely while opening his arms for a hug that you gladly welcome in. Drunk on his scent. He grabs your hand once you are apart and runs his fingers over the ring he had the pleasure to put on your hand months ago. It was a habit he unconsciously got since you made it official. As if feeling that ring on your hand reassured him that you were his and he was yours. He could remember the day of the proposal like it was yesterday, he felt like the happiest man alive.

...

You waited a few hours past dusk to sneak out the apartment window. Your suit was not as nearly well planned as Matt’s. If someone got the opportunity to see it from up close - which is why you avoided that type of contact - they’d easily notice how fragile it really was.

That wasn’t the only thing could readily set you apart from the Devil Of Hell’s Kitchen. When in your regular life you were the so called soulmates. Here, in the nights, suits on and starving for a fight, you were total opposites. You didn’t care if it came to a kill, in fact, your very purpose was killing.

Meanwhile Matthew, as the devoted catholic he was, felt in no position to judge who lived and who died, rather they deserve it or not, you did not give it much of a thought.

You never had really came to a day you had to confront Daredevil face to face, you didn’t normally bump into each other because, if you’re going to be honest, he scared the hell out of you. However, he’d warned you before if your killings kept on going, he’d “have to do something about it”, which you politely ignored and kept on going.

Now standing on top of a building, eyes on your target and sniper in hands, his voice played over and over in your head, disturbingly familiar and low. You take your eyes out the leans and turn your neck to check the rooftop behind you. Something felt wrong.

“Hello?” You ask. Frozen on your spot. Huffing when looking back in realization you’d lost your target you keep on looking for him when you feel the same freeze on your spine, but this time stronger. Someone was definitely here with you.

By the corner of your eye you see him. Devil Of Hell’s Kitchen, he wore a black suit, also visibly fragile just like yours, for a second you wonder why wasn’t he wearing his regular one. The black stripe on his head somehow made him even scarier.

“I warned you to stop.” He says in a raspy voice, still oddly familiar.

“You know I can’t do that.” Trying your best to keep your composure, you don’t even stand up to talk to him, staying in position still trying to aim your target.

“Can’t or don’t want to?”

“Maybe both.”

“Why are you doing this?”

“I don’t have to explain myself to you.”

“Well, maybe you should.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

You scoff “Threatening a woman, Red? Twice now?”

“I’m going to repeat my question. Why are you doing this?”

“Ever had a sister, Red? A brother?” Now dropping your sniper angrily you get up to face him, your eyes watery. He shakes his head no.

“Yeah, well I had one. She-” You sniff before you keep on going. “She messed with the wrong people but she was a good person, she was the best and she-” You walk back to where you were standing before and point at the building in front of you. “That man, that’s my last target, I- I promise you if you’re so disturbed by this for some reason, he’s my last.”

“There’s always going to be more.”

“He got her killed and I want him down.”

“That’s not how things work.”

“Well, it is to me.”

“I can’t let you do this.”

“Then I guess you’ll have to stop me.” You stare where you thought might be localized his eyes though the black tissue, hoping he could see you meant what you just said.

Without warning he came forward to punch you and you dodged it hitting him on his chest. He didn't seem to flinch even a bit to your hits. The fighting was intense, you knew about his principles but fighting the man for the first time made you question if he really let people come out alive of it.

He fought like a beast. Agile. Strong. You were not as nearly as experienced as him on a 1 x 1 situation. Your deal was with weapons, mostly guns, knives maybe, but never like this, bare, nothing but your own body to strike, and surprise to no one, you were losing. And bad.

He carried your body to the collar of your suit, hitting your back at the wall, your mind was dizzy, your vision blurry and it felt like everything was twisting. You wonder for a glimpse if you'd die like this, on the rooftop of a dirty building, keeping an enormous secret from the ones you loved the most.

Your senses was definitely not at their best but you were sure you felt something fall out of your calloused hands, your ring. You think about Matt, you think of the possibility of him founding out your life ended like this. Bloody and alone. Your belly twists in disgust. What were you even doing?

The noise was not even near to alarming, a normal person might not even have noticed it, ignoring anything else around in the heat of the moment of a fight, but to Matt's ears it was cristal clear.

Not even he could tell the reason why but he leans and grabs it in his hands, the material and texture flooding him on memories and his eyes instantly going watery. It couldn't be. No.

"Y- y/n?"

You don't answer, too out of air to think anything straight, falling to the floor the second he let go of your neck. You cough and cry once you process his words. That's why the voice was familiar.

"Matt?" You ask between sobs and he pulls out his mask. The action itself hurting you way more than the physical pain you were in. God, you were a mess. "B-but, h-how, you- you are... Oh God..."

"Y/n..." He leans down to the level of your eyesight, crying as much as you were now. Thinking about the pain, in every sense, that you were feeling because of him. That along to the feeling of being betrayed as well.

His mind twisted and turned. How could he not have known? Your smell, your voice... He loved all of it, he lived for it and he swore he could recognise you anywhere.

"Can you see me?" You ask him, not sure to what point he pretended things anymore. Questioning now if what you had was even true. You were both lying to eachother, keeping things. Still, and you could say that only for yourself, your love for Matt was the most real part of your life.

"N-no. I'm- I can't."

"Okay..." You were not sure what to say. What do you say in a situation like this?

"Is it true?"

"What?"

"What you said about your sister, is that true?"

You nod, for a second forgetting he couldn't see you and leaving some seconds of awkward silence in between. "S-sorry, I- I nodded, yes it is."

"Why haven't you told me?"

"I could ask you the same."

"Touche." He grins sadly, trying to lift up your mood, if that was even possible. You were both so broken, still, you didn't seem to be able to step even a centimeter away from one another.

"Really, tho. Why?"

"I don't know..." He shrugged for the first time asking it to himself. Why?. He could have told you, he trusted you more than anyone else.

"Same." You sigh "Look, Matt, I- I'm so sorry... I haven't said anything, I'm sorry I lied, I'm sorry for..." you point at the blood spots that painted several spots of the roof, most of it being probably yours but still "for all of this..."

"I'm sorry, too. I don't know what came onto me. I'm not... I'm not even normally this violent is just..." He sighs looking for answers he did not have as well. "I'm really sorry."

"You think we can fix this?" You chuckle "Start over... Maybe?" You look at him hopefully "I truly do love you, Matthew. More than anything." The last words come out harsh and quiet, your throat closing into another cry by just thinking of the possibility you'd lost him forever. The possibility his answer might simply be stand up and walk out of there. Walk out of your life.

"I love you too, y/n. So freaking much." He hugs you tightly sobbing onto your shoulders, feeling your heart race as fast as ever, he hugs you even tighter when the guilt of physically having hurt you takes him over all at once.

He knew that for that he'd never be able to forgive himself. That ran over your head as well. But not you knew one another fully. There was nothing in this world standing between you and the love of your life.

Matt slides the ring back on your hand sniffing some tears on a red stained nose - from both getting punched and crying - he kisses your forehead and snuggles you onto his arms. Now no words needed to be said in that moment. But standing there together after what you just went through. That was a silent promise you'd never leave.

[carters-things]

Sleepless Nights

Matt Murdock x Reader

Summary: Matt Finds out you haven't been sleeping

TW: None I think

Masterlist

You're sitting at your desk fighting tooth and nail to stay awake. Eyes heavy and body like jello. You're leaning on your hand in a manner to barely keep one eye pried open as you flip through the files pertaining to Nelson and Murdock’s current trial. "Wow. That interesting of a read huh?" Foggy says startling you to a perfect posture position.

"Oh.. uh... yeah. I just. Got distracted..." you said rubbing your face to try and collect yourself.

"This is the third day in a row you have been out of it. Are you feeling ok?" Foggy asks pouring you some coffee.

"Yeah. I just.." your voice trails off as Matt walks out of his office. "I think I'm coming down with something." You say as you clear your throat and nod as a thank you to Foggy, taking the outstretched coffee.

Matt leans against the door post to his office, hand on his hip. You can feel him staring into you, knowing he's listening to your heart rate. Well now he knows I’m lying. The truth is you haven't slept. Not more than 2 hours a night for almost the past week. Matt had made headway on locating some remaining Russians that had gone underground when he thought he took them all down. He came home about 2 weeks ago in pretty bad shape. It took you an hour to treat all of his injuries as he faded in and out of consciousness. You've never been so scared in your life. You cried and begged him to stay awake- to talk to you and fight the urge to slip unconscious again- as you watched his blank stare fade and eyes roll back into his head.

Since that night you haven't slept soundly. Losing more and more sleep each night he goes out. Matt had enough going on in Hell's kitchen that he feels obligated to protect, he didn't need to add taking care of you to his list. You’ve been staying at your place more so he doesn’t know that you aren’t sleeping but on the nights you do cave in and stay over there he lays with you until you're "asleep" before going out into the dark. You fake this because he needs those moments of peace and safety of holding you in his arms just as much as you do.

"Why don't you take half a day today Y/N. We've got this covered here. Go home and get some rest and we can fill you in tomorrow morning." Matt says concerned.

"No. Really I'm ok, I want to help." You adjust your chair, sitting upright pulling into your desk.

The rest of the day drags on as you fight back the exhaustion. "All in a day's work!" Foggy says shutting his office door. "Josie's anyone?" He says pointing at you and Matt with his eyebrows raised.

"Thanks Fog, but I'm going to take Y/N home."

"I guess I don't have a choice." You laugh nervously. Grabbing your personal belongings and closing your computer down. You walk to the door with Foggy and Matt- who has grabbed your elbow to guide him. You walk home listening to Matt talk about the trial coming up and different strategies of approaches that we can take. You nod and mutter the occasional affirmation so he knows you're listening but you're more distracted knowing it's just a matter of hours before he leaves to go out again. All of the horrible scenarios running through your aching head. "Stay with me tonight." Matt says breaking the thought pattern and stopping you in your tracks.

"What?"

"Stay with me tonight. You need to rest and my apartment is closer. I'll cook you dinner and we can watch a movie"

"Is this you asking or telling?" You question back.

"Both?" He says tilting his head wearing a smirk.

"Fine. But I'm picking the movie." you say playfully bumping shoulders with him as you continue the walk to his place.

Around 830 you finish cleaning up dish-ware from dinner. You wash and dry them in silence as your eyes get heavy. Once the dishes are done you head to the bathroom closing the door behind you. You wash your face- removing all of the concealer and foundation you’ve been using to keep up your act as you stare into the mirror and see the physical toll the lack of sleep is taking on your body. Your eyes are puffy, with dark blue shade underneath- your cheeks and face are void of any other natural color. Thank goodness Matt is blind and can’t see the evidence.

“Sweetheart?” Matt says knocking on the door-snapping you out of your thoughts again.

“I’ll uh… I’ll be out in a second!” you urge back splashing more water on your face before taking a big breath in to prepare to leave the bathroom. You open the door to see Matt standing with his arms crossed, blank stare searching for your face.

“What’s wrong?” you ask in as normal of a voice as you can make.

“I was going to ask you the same thing..” he says running his hand up your arm and to your cheek. He leans in to place a kiss on your forehead and you meet him halfway, melting into his arms.

“I’ve just missed you, that's all.” you say squeezing your arms around his waist as you tuck your head under his chin.

“Sweetheart?”

“Yeah?” you say looking up at his face, glistening in the neon lights coming through the living room windows.

“How long has it been since you’ve slept?” his eyes move trying to meet yours.

“Why do you ask?” you say taken back.

“You have been really out of it lately.. Your body temperature hasn’t risen so you aren’t sick like you said but I’m worried about you” he says cradling the back of your head with his hand and the other rubbing circles on your back.

“I… well…” You feel a lump form in your throat and tears form in your eyes. Your breathing rate picks up as you try and stifle your cries. Matt holds you close to him, his warm touch and strong grip making you feel safe enough to fall apart. You start to cry, unable to even form a thought to begin to explain what has been going on.

“Shhh..my love…” He says softly, running his hand through your hair. “Talk to me, I’m here..”

“For now… but what happens in a couple hours? You go out and I lay awake waiting for you to come home? Not knowing if you’ll even make it home.” You say pulling back from his arms, wiping your tears away. “I haven’t slept since that night you came home almost dead Matthew.. I watched you fade in and out. I cried over you, and begged you to stay with me. I’ve never felt so scared or helpless in my life. I had to sit and wait for you to wake up. Wait for you to decide to fight to live. How am I supposed to sleep knowing you’re out there fighting your way through the dark.”

“I’ll always come back to you y/n. Always.” Matt says cupping your cheek. His hands are calloused but his touch is still somehow soft. You raise your hand and hold it over top of his, leaning into his palm.

“I can’t lose you Matty…” Your voice trails off.

“And you won’t.”

“I know you think you’re invincible, but you’re still human. Even with your amazing senses you still have limits. We all do.”

“I promise I’ll be more careful. I shouldn’t have put all of that on you the other night. Not all alone. That wasn’t fair to you, and it won’t happen again.” Matt says reaching for your hand. He grabs it and holds it to his chest. You can feel his gentle steady heartbeat bringing a calming reassurance that he is very much alive. “Come on. You need to rest.”

“I can’t go to sleep just to wake up to you gone..” You say hiding your face in his chest.

“I’m not going anywhere tonight.”

You both make your way to the bedroom and climb into his bed. The silk sheets are cool to the touch, a calming sensation. Matt wraps his arms around your waist as you lay with your back to him. Fitting into the shape of his body perfectly. He can sense your hesitation in letting yourself relax. “Go to sleep sweetheart. I’ll be here when you wake up. I promise.”

Hearing that sentence allows you to let out a sigh of relief. A sigh that feels like you’ve been holding your breath for days. You melt into Matts’ embrace, finally feeling safe enough to sleep. And just as he said, you woke up the next morning with him safe and sound- asleep by your side. You rolled over to face him, taking in every little detail of his presence before wiggling your way into his arms and onto his chest, falling back to sleep.