#also this is making me miss dnd so bad

[hirokiyuu]

finally got my hands on bg3 and its so good but oh my god i feel like i unlock a new quest every five seconds

[sunnibits]

please god I can’t hyperfixate on my own oc pls nobody will care if I’m just oc posting 24/7 pls like only one other person even knows his lore please fucking god I’m not strong enough just let me get back to drawing old men in sexual positions I’m fucking begging you

[castawavy]

hows life?

its pretty good rn anon i can't lie!! im finally 'good' at my job, moving out of my parents house, and having the best time of my life with my friends as well (now that they've gotten rid of some boyfriend shaped dead weight 🥰😍🤭) so I really cant complain! like lately weve been doing lots of fun spontanous stuff and I love it!!!

[brainmoss]

someone i only properly talked with like 3 times told me about a food they really like and now im looking up recipes and wondering after how many hang outs would it be aceptable for me to gift them a tupperware filled with that dish ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[deservingporcupine]

*whiny voice* but maaaaa, i don’t WANNA be in a video game fandom

[autumnfangirler]

I WANT TO PLAY DNDDDD

[inkskinned]

it is the first snow today. i think we should all have off work, even though it didn't stick. i think there should be 4 national holidays, one for each season. happy first snow, go home and make cookies. for spring it can be the first crocus. for summer the first lightning bug. for autumn, the first golden leaf. go home, kiss your dog, feed your cat (who is absolutely already-fed but somehow still starving.)

i think we should all take more showers together, but i mean that in the soft way. i mean it like taking a nap. two years ago i had 5 adult friends in my queen bed, all of us laying across each other, head over belly over thigh over hand. any time one of us would giggle, it would ripple over each of us, like pulling on a spiderweb. kim actually needed to nap and didn't get to sleep and i am still sorry for it even though this is one of my most precious memories.

i think we should all wash each other's hair, i mean. i walk my dog and i watch someone put up twinkle lights around their front porch. alex and i just moved, and i love the neighborhood. already so many of our new neighbors have stopped by to say hello. the nice lady downstairs also collects plants, like me. she gave us her number on a pink post-it note. i am trying to decide whether to make her cookies or brownies.

i am going through a very hard time. something bad happened this weekend that i do not wish to discuss. it is hanging over me. i think of the green ribbon, and the woman who had her throat cut. it feels like that sometimes, inside of my body. like i am walking and talking despite being half-corpsed. like i am hanging on by a ribbon, standing on some kind of cusp. i keep saying - at least it wasn't worse. we are so lucky it wasn't worse. the idea is river-rock smooth now, all the edges worried off.

in this very dark night - the sun sets by 3 now - people don't need to, but they try anyway. they paint the missing light into things. i have an embarrassing number of missed calls and texts, but i feel the love from them nevertheless - hey. if you need something, i'm here. i will bring you food/puzzles/anything. i got you.

i think we should all have a big group chat where we do errands with strangers. this week i got lost in a home depot, which is wild because i'm a lesbian and we are actually hatched in a lowe's lumber section. there were two other women in the whole store. we ended up shopping together, at first by accident (we all needed things in the same aisle), and then because, well, why not. one of the ladies was taller than me, so she pulled down the screws i needed. i am agile and have the personality of a raccoon, so they sent me after anything below 3 feet. we talked about holiday plans and never learned each other's names, but did learn all the drama about each other's families.

i am making you cupcakes, because i have so much affection i want to pour it into batter. you ask me if i am eating enough per meal. i wrap your gift twice, trying to do it prettily. i get excited to give it to you, just because i hope you'll be excited too.

my parents drive an hour just to see the new apartment and to do the parent thing; standing in the kitchen saying things like "oh you'll get so much use from this dishwasher" and "well, you could paint that" and "when your mother and i moved it was uphill both ways and in a snowstorm and of course your brother was an infant." my mother brought me a plant for housewarming. i always say i love you before she leaves.

i play dnd on tuesdays still, after all these years. we all keep that night free. at one point, between grad school and marriage and all of it, we had to have a serious discussion about how to keep it running. we will keep going, we decided eventually. just to see each other, even if we don't play - you are all important to me. sebastian is not prone to affection but last night he stole my usual sign off - i love you all, be good, he said. he was laughing.

i don't love the winter, actually. i like snow in theory, but i grew up in the north, and am too-familiar with the season of "mud and sludge". i don't like being cold. but i do love something kind of soft and rare: every year around this time, people remember oh yes. you and i are human together. and i have love to spare.

it is the first snow, and something in my heart is finally warm again. i have spent what felt like the last 18 months just going-through-the-motions. it has felt blank and immediate, like i would never actually feel again. that sounds extremely trite and stupid - but that is the boring and familiar experience of depression. life just washes up against your windows, and you watch it happening. you see things that should be lovely and affecting, and it just whispers too-thin. i was desperately uncreative. uninterested in my hobbies. unimpressed by my writing. i told my therapist, often, i don't know how to find hope again.

almost sheepishly, something strange and lovely is burning in my chest. i keep not-looking at it, worried it will scamper back into the shadows again. it is skittish and wild, but it is so warm i want to sink my hands into its fur and feel it breathing. i love-hate it: if it's real, it can hurt me when it leaves again. but i am icarus-born, sun-lover and poet: i can't help myself. despite my best intentions, i am falling in love with life again.

i am planning to make cookies for my friends. alex and i are going to go christmas tree shopping. we picked out matching dish towels last night, and they have little mushrooms on them.

i love you. it does come back. yes, even after a long time. even for you. i promise. keep trying. you will wake up and it will be a day you can smile about.

write me when you get there. we will take the day off of work, and i will wash your hair, and we will both be laughing.

[somethingvicked]

Forget me (not) pt 1

An Eddie Munson story.

Warnings: female reader, angst, reader injured, Eddie being an idiot, memory loss.

Eddie wasn’t stupid. He knew that the relationship between him and Chrissy wouldn’t last forever. They were two very different people that wanted different things in life.

Chrissy wanted to graduate with high honors and go to college and then get married and have a white picket fence life with children and a dog.

Eddie was on his third try to graduate high school and he had no clue what he was going to do with his life after that. He had his band but he didn’t think they would ever make it out of the garage era, playing at a bar for only five drunks every week.

But Chrissy was really pretty, and unlike every other popular person, she was also sweet and not ashamed to be seen with him. Why not have a good time while it lasted?

He had to admit, he hadn’t paid as much attention to his best friend, Y/N since he and Chrissy started dating, after that first time Chrissy bought weed from him and they started joking and having fun.

Eddie reckoned that it was okay. He had known and spent time with Y/N most of his life – it couldn’t be that bad if he spent a couple of weeks or months with Chrissy.

Did he notice that Y/N was hurt when he turned down her suggestions of movie nights, going out for a burger or planning the next campaign? Yes.

But he figured it was alright. It wouldn’t last forever.

For him and Y/N there would be more time. For him and Chrissy, it was limited.

You wanted to be happy for Eddie when he and Chrissy started dating. And in a way you were. That Chrissy, such a popular and smart girl saw Eddie as he really was, rather than what everyone thought him to be. She didn’t judge him.

But you would be lying if you didn’t say you were jealous.

You had been in love with Eddie since middle school, when he and his band played at that talent show.

You two hadn’t become friends until high school, though, when you came over and asked if you could join Hellfire club.

Up until then you had mostly hung out with the band nerds and Robin, because your parents really wanted you to learn some kind of instrument.

You had tried to play the violin but you hated it, so when you quit you felt like you needed a new hobby and with Eddie running the DnD club, it was a given.

You had never told Eddie how much you loved him, though. He didn’t feel the same way, you knew that. You were just his best friend.

There had been other girls that he had hooked up with but it never lasted. Not like this.

And when he kept blowing you off you wondered if you were about to lose him forever?

That’s what led you to going over to his place one time when Chrissy had cheer practice. You knew Eddie rarely came to cheer practice because he didn’t like the way the jocks yelled at Chrissy, calling her a traitor and a devil’s tramp and whatnot.

Eddie opened the door himself, in sweatpants and an old Dio shirt, hair all tousled. You suspected he’d been relaxing with a joint.

”Y/N! Sweetheart, what are you doing here?” Eddie wondered, smiling at you.

The nickname felt like a knife to the heart. Even more when he asked what you were doing at his place, as if you coming over had become some strange event all of a sudden.

And to be fair, lately it had.

”I need to talk to you,” you replied. ”Are you going to let me in, or should we talk here on the porch?”

You hadn’t meant to sound so snappy but you were nervous and his reaction to you didn’t help.

Eddie’s grin disappeared and he stepped aside so you could come through the door, a frown now on his face.

”What’s wrong?” he wondered as you two walked into his room.

You sighed, your arms wrapped around yourself, trying to keep yourself together, if not mentally, at least physically.

Eddie started to look worried, clearly thinking you were about to say something horrible had happened.

You sighed.

”Eddie... I... I miss you.”

Eddie seemed surprised. ”You miss me? That’s what we need to talk about? We see each other all the time, sweetheart!”

”Do we?” you challenged. ”The only one you seem to hang out with these days is Chrissy. I... I get it that you and her... but it feels like we’re not even friends anymore!”

Eddie smiled. ”Of course we’re still friends, Y/N. But me and Chrissy... it’s going so well and she’s so sweet. You know how it is, in the beginning, when you’ve just started dating right?”

You shook your head. ”No. I don’t,” you said, looking down on your feet.

Eddie’s face fell. ”Well, maybe if you got out there and tried dating someone and have a little fun you would know. Why don’t you try it? You might be surprised.”

”There’s no one else I want,” you mumbled and Eddie rolled his eyes.

”Look, Y/N, Chrissy is my girlfriend now, and girlfriends... well, I’m sorry but they should come first, shouldn’t they?”

”We’ve been best friends for years, you’ve known Chrissy for what? Two months? I’m not saying you can’t have a girlfriend, I just...”

”Wait, wait...” Eddie said, frowning,”what do you mean there’s no one else you want?”

You blushed. ”Nothing, it was nothing.”

”So you do have feelings for someone? Why don’t you try asking them out?”

You felt your frustration throb inside your head and groaned. ”That won’t work.”

”Why not?”

”Because it’s you, you idiot!” you screamed, tears rising in your eyes.

Eddie stared at you like you had grown a second head. ”Me?”

”Yes! I... I’ve been in love with you ever since middle school, Eddie...”

”Since middle school?!”

”Yes.”

For a moment there was nothing but silence between you two, except an occasional sniffle from you.

”Why are you telling me this now?” Eddie said, his voice monotone.

”I... I didn’t mean to, I just... I miss you so much and I feel really hurt that you can just... quit me, like I mean nothing! Even if you don’t feel the same...”

”You’re damn right I don’t feel the same!” Eddie exclaimed. ”Why the hell are you telling me this now, when I’m already dating someone? If you wanted to spend more time with me, that’s the last thing you should have done! Now you’ve ruined everything!”

You gasped. ”What?”

”Yeah! How do you think Chrissy will feel about this? I definitely can’t hang out with you now, knowing you have feelings for me. She’s going to freak out.”

He was worried about how Chrissy would react?

”Well... then I suppose it will end here,” you whispered, your voice broken. ”You know me, Eddie, you know I would’ve never cross any boundaries if you weren’t okay with it. But clearly I didn’t mean as much to you as I thought. What was I – a distraction until something better came along?”

Eddie’s eyes widened. ”Of course not! I only meant... Chrissy is my girlfriend! She won’t be happy that I hang out with someone that has feelings for me. Would you if the roles were reversed?”

”I think you made it quite clear that that would never happen,” you said, wiping your eyes. ”It doesn’t matter. I can’t help my feelings and you can’t help yours. But... I need some distance, Eddie. I guess that works out good for you, protecting Chrissy’s feelings.”

Now Eddie was starting to look worried again. It was clear that even though he didn’t feel the same about you as you did him, he hadn’t expected that it might end your friendship.

”You want to punish me for not being in love with you? I can’t control something like that.”

You immediately got angry. ”Is that what you think of me? No! But you said it yourself – you can’t hang out with me now because you know I have feelings for you. And you pick Chrissy,” you told him, not being able to hold back the bitterness in your voice.

”It’s not about picking! You’re still my best friend, but Chrissy...”

”I can’t just forget that I’m in love with you,” you told him with a roll of your eyes. ”However much I wish I could.”

”Yeah, I wish you could too,” Eddie said, realizing too late how cruel he sounded. ”I wish this conversation never happened. What good did it do that you told me this?”

 As if he wanted to twist the dagger in your heart even more. You inhaled sharply but didn’t reply.

You made a silent wish when you turned around and walked out of the door of his trailer.

I wish I could forget everything about you, Eddie Munson. It would make it so much easier.  

You immediately drove to Family Video, knowing that both Robin and Steve was working today. As you walked inside Robin’s eyes widened at the sight of your red-rimmed eyes.

”Y/N! What happened?” she wondered as she grabbed your arm and pulled you behind the counter.

You told her and Steve everything, knowing you could trust them.

Robin pulled you in for a hug and Steve muttered something about kicking Eddie’s ass, which made you laugh.

”Steve, don’t be silly. I mean... he’s right. He can’t help how he’s feeling. He likes Chrissy, he doesn’t like me like that. I can accept that – no one can control their feelings. It’s the way he’s acted toward me until now. I guess I can understand why he wouldn’t want to hang out with me knowing I’m in love with him, because it would make it awkward for Chrissy.

”Maybe. But he was still insenstive toward you,” Steve said, shaking his head. ”Nothing should get in the way of friendship.”

”Yes. But... I can’t deny that he has a point. I would probably be uncomfortable if the roles were reversed, like he said,” you admitted.

Steve still thought Eddie had been a jerk to you. Especially since Eddie had told Steve that he knew that this thing with Chrissy might only last until she left for college. That Eddie was willing to throw away a friendship for something that was just temporary... that was such a mean thing to do.

”I’m just going to go home, lick my wounds and...”

”... have lots of chocolate!” Robin interrupted. ”Take whatever you need, on the house. You want me to come over after I’m done here?”

”No, thank you, I want to be alone. But I’d love some chocolate and slasher movies. Then I can watch someone else get fucked up instead of me,” you half-joked.

Less than ten minutes later you left Family Video, stocked with ice cream, chocolate bars and a couple of movies in your arms that you put into the backseat, before starting your car and driving towards home.

You thought once again about Eddie. You knew your feelings for him wouldn’t disappear – it wasn’t like you hadn’t tried that before.

Maybe you two would never be the same again. And you would have to live with that pain, while he cozied up to Chrissy. The girl that hadn’t said ’iota’ when her ex boyfriend tormented Eddie, tormented you and the rest of the gang.

You were so deep in your thoughts that you didn’t see the little girl cross the road until it was almost too late.

With a yelp you sharply turned the wheel, just noticing the blue little blossoms she was dropping onto the road before a large tree appeared in front of you.

As a large crash rumbled into your ears, the windowshield turning into a web of cracks and your head hitting the steering wheel with a force that made it feel like your skull exploded, you swore you could hear a small little voice chiming ”he loves me, he loves me not.”

Was it the little girl?

Then everything went black.

Eddie was still at home, waiting for Chrissy to call him after practice, thinking about what had happened with Y/N.

That she’d had feelings for him, so long. How could he not have noticed? The two of them were best friends after all!

When he remembered how her face had fallen and how she told him that she would keep a distance... it made his heart ache. Y/N had been a constant in his life for so many years. It was hard to imagine a life without her.

But Chrissy was his girlfriend now. A girlfriend had to come first! Right?

A girlfriend he hadn’t even bother planning a future with because he knew there wasn’t one...

He tried to imagine his life without Chrissy. If he had to be honest with himself… it didn’t feel quite as sad as he thought it would – because  it wouldn’t make much of a difference from how he had lived until now.

Then he tried to imagine a life without Y/N.

That. That hurt. It felt like someone had punched him in the ribs.

That’s when the phone rang. And it wasn’t Chrissy.

Eddie stormed into the hospital, seeing the children, Steve, Robin, Nancy and Jonathan in the waiting room.

”How is she?” he breathed out.

”What are you doing here? Won’t your girlfriend feel ’awkward’?” Steve couldn’t help but ask.

Eddie froze in his steps, staring at Steve.

Robin patted Steve’s arm. ”Not now, Steve,” she said, glancing over to the younger teenagers.

Dustin, whom had been the one to call Eddie, looked up at him. ”A little girl walked out into the road and Y/N swerved to avoid hitting her, but she ended up crashing into a tree instead.”

”And?” Eddie wondered, breathing fast as he imagined Y/N’s car crashing into a tree, how scared she must have been.

”We don’t know. She’s hit head pretty badly on the steering wheel and has some cuts from the glass. She was unconscious when they brought her in with the ambulance,” Dustin continued. ”We don’t know if she got any other injuries, right now we’re just... waiting.”

Eddie nodded and sat down. Steve was pacing back and forth in the waiting room and when he was beside Eddie, turning around for the fifteenth time he spat: ”You sure you want to wait here with us? What about Chrissy? Don’t want to keep her waiting, right?”

Eddie glared at Steve. ”Y/N’s my best friend, of course I want to be here.”

”Really?” Steve questioned, tapping his chin. ”Your best friend? No, that doesn’t sound right. Not when Y/N herself told me that you picked Chrissy over her and that she had, ’ruined everything’.”

Eddie paled, realizing that Steve knew what had happened. What he had done. ”That’s... I didn’t mean... ”

”Enough, you two,” Dustin said, but with the way he looked at Eddie, Eddie once again felt like someone had punched him in the ribs. ”Y/N is going to want all of us here when she wakes up. We’re here for her, so quit your dick measuring contest!”

Both Eddie and Steve’s eyes widened as they stared at Dustin cursing them out before it got quiet again.

Eddie didn’t fail to notice though, that while the others spoke among each other, no one spoke to him.

It felt like they had been waiting for years when Y/N’s mother finally came out into the waiting room to talk to them all.

”Y/N... she’s most likely going to be fine. The seat belt broke a couple of ribs as well as the force of the crash, which punctured a lung, but they have repaired it now. She’s also gotten a pretty hard knock to the head when she hit the tree. I know you’re all eager to see her, and I understand that, but she’s very tired from them repairing the lung and pain medication. She needs to rest. But I will tell her you are all thinking about her.”

The others sighed, but nodded and got up. Robin gave Y/N’s mother a hug and Nancy spoke kindly to her, telling her especially what she wanted Y/N  to know.

Eddie seemed to be the only one that noticed something was off. He knew Y/N’s mother well and he could tell that she was holding something back. So he pretended like he was going to the vending machine to get a snack when the others trooped out.

Then he stayed in the waiting room, until finally, an hour later, Y/N’s mother went outside again, seemingly going to get a cup of coffee.

Then Eddie quickly snuck into Y/N’s room.

The first he felt was relief. She was lying back against the pillow, the whole right side of her face purple and blue from the hit and an oxygen tube in her nose, probably to help the injured lung. A few cuts on her forehead but not deep enough that she’d needed stitches.

She was even awake, looking out the window with tired eyes. He had been terrified she’d been in a coma.

”Y/N!” Eddie exclaimed and saw how she jerked, grimacing from the pain, which made him feel bad for scaring her, and then she turned her gaze towards him. ”Sweetheart! I’m so sorry... when I heard... you can’t imagine how that...”

Y/N’s eyes widened and she shied away as if she was afraid of him and Eddie frowned, taking a step closer, ”Y/N, what’s wrong? Are you angry with me? I understand that, but...” Y/N looked into his eyes, asking in a monotone voice: ”I’m sorry... do... do I know you?”

Eddie frowned, not understanding. For a moment he thought Y/N was joking with him, but the expression in her eyes... confusion, fear... not a hint of recollection.

He heard the door open behind him and Y/N’s mother gasp. ”Eddie! I told you...”

Y/N’s mother hurried over to Y/N’s bed, taking her hand. ”I’m sorry, dear. This... this is Eddie,” she told Y/N, her voice calm as if she was comforting a scared child.

”Do I know him?” Y/N wondered, voice small and trembling. “I… I don’t… remember?”

That’s when Eddie understood.

The hit to Y/N’s head had affected her memory. She didn’t know who he was.

taglist: @ali-r3n @animechick555 @h-ness1944 @eddie-is-a-god

@rainybloo28 @megatronmunson @quinnyficsy @jenniquinn @melodymunson

please, like, comment and reblog!

Your likes are wonderful but reblogs expand my reading circle

[cottoncandybitchfuck]

Riz Gukgak, a little rogue from a single-parent household. A natural detective, going nights without sleeping and worrying his mother to death. He was looking for his babysitter who had gone missing, he didn’t care about friends. He was the briefcase kid, he was used to getting bullied. He gets thrown into a trash can and called “The Ball.” He stole a teabag in the name of getting clues and got detention. He brought a gun to his first day of school. He killed a monster, making the worst but smartest choice of jumping into the corn monster. He joined the A.V. club with some gross people just to solve a mystery. He started taking care of a random rat just because he could. He used his suitcase as a skateboard during combat. He shot Coach Daybreak when he was unconscious just to make sure he was dead. He knew they weren’t done yet despite the cops having the palimpsest. He took 7 damage to try to save someone from a palimpsest. He shot 2 of his classmate’s fingers off to get him to answer their questions. He holds the sword of shadows. He kills a dragon and then eats him. “Fury of the Ball” He becomes a licensed investigator. He lied about having a partner, and it manifested and kidnapped him. He comes clean immediately. He gave up a secret only to save his friend he never thought he would have. He tried to help Fabian feel better after the fight at the Row and the Ruction. He helped save Adaine, helping take down a Plyon. He found record of the coin from the Nightmare King in Kalvaxus’ Horde. He was also the first to find out about the Shadow Cat.  He represented Fig in a legal trial in Hell. He met his dad and almost thought he was bad. He became part of the Lower Planar Reconnaissance Task Force. His biggest fear was getting left by his friends getting in relationships. He came up with the way to destroy Kalina. He used magic to be able to drive. He ran over Fabian. He joined every club he could and became a campaign manager so that he could go to college since his mom couldn’t afford it. *His principal cast Hold Monster on him…  He didn’t hesitate to protect Fig from the moon by throwing her into his briefcase and jumping in after her. His nightmare followed him, it attacked his friends. He got away again. He learned to talk shit. He hid so well and helped with the Last Stand so much. He found the rogue teacher, he solved so many points of the mystery. He killed another dragon! He is so protective of his friends, and he hated what the rat grinders stood for. “Make sure to cut his head off so he can’t be revived.” He submerged in lava just to throw Kipperlilly off.  “Very good on paper but… no practical application.” He apologized to Fig and Kristen for pushing them to do school when they didn’t want to, as well as made sure Kristen actually wanted to be president. He is Riz Gukgak, The Ball, and he is a huge part of the bad kids despite being so small. And the one thing Porter was right about? Riz is a “Little Shadow” and he is good at it too. 

It took me three hours to write this because I had to condense and cut so much. It’s 1am (12:14) in a warehouse in the middle of the sea (a dorm room) and I am finally done with this style of post. At least 4 more Bad Kids posts are coming, and then I’ll be normal again (posting about other fandoms and dnd shows)

*I said this was important! He used dominate person on Ruben, so that was a choice Grix made, there are no mechanical reasons for monster to work vs person

[jasvtsc]

young!jensen x reader. ex-bf!jensen x reader.

discreet glances.

small smiles.

mouthing things you couldn’t say aloud.

secret touches under the table. 

your pinky finger rubbing his as he had his hand on your knee.

all of that? it turned into complete ignorance.

you were confused about what caused your breakup with jensen. you both were fine. everything was fine. up until one night, it wasn’t anymore. you came back home, where he was already waiting for you, his head hung low as he kept his hands clasped tightly together. you could see a small tremble in them as if he was holding back his sadness. or anger. you couldn’t tell. 

you dropped your bag and tilted your head to the side, slowly approaching him. you were quiet. he was quiet. the whole apartment was quiet except for the clock, slowly ticking in the background, and some white noise coming from the kitchen. you felt your heart slowly coming up your throat as he finally lifted his glossy green eyes to look at you. once so full of life and love, now replaced with sadness and heartbreak.

exactly 38 minutes and 16 seconds later, you and jensen broke up. he said it was distance and work. you both were young, freshly rising stars. you had your projects — most of them abroad, and he had his stuff here. it wouldn’t have worked, that’s what he said. dnd you just agreed. 'cause what else was there? if he didn’t want to fight for the two of you, why should you? two people make a relationship. not one.

so, once cheerful looks turned to avoidance of eye contact whenever your eyes met.

once quiet chuckles turned to sternness and ignoring each other.

once intimate touches turned into keeping distance as if one of you had some kind of disease.

you tried to move on. you tried. after spending countless hours crying yourself to sleep and wondering what you did wrong, you finally stepped out into the world again. slowly, you were regaining your spirit, that gleam in your eyes you lost due to the heartbreak. but most importantly, you finally let go of your past. of him. 

maybe one day your paths will cross again.

jensen also tried to get back on track. but the looming feeling of guilt and realisation that he had lost the best things in his entire life hung heavy on his shoulders. he knew he made a mistake. he should’ve never chosen his career over you. you were always supporting him, you were there for him and he went and dumped it cause what? a young heartthrob like him would lose fans if others found out he was in a relationship. he knew he should’ve never listened to his manager. but now? it was too late. you were gone. 

now, whenever he saw you, his eyes were full of longing.

his heart was crying for you.

he knew that he had to talk to you again. no matter if you hated him. he had to see you.

you were in your assigned place at some awards show. and you weren’t sure if it was just your luck or he did that on purpose, but jensen was sitting next to you. at first, you were thinking about changing your seat, but then again, there was no bad blood between the two of you. you could act like adults, right?

“baby, listen to me, i’m sorry— “ he started, turning his head to look at you with those green eyes that had so much depth to them. and again, you could see that love in them. fuck, you were crumbling. you weren’t over him as much as you thought that you were.

“hey, it’s okay. it’s fine. we’re fine.”

“we’re not, ‘kay? i regret my decision every single fucking minute of the day. i’m a fucking idiot. i should’ve never break your heart like that. i love you, baby. please, i— ” he sighed, running his fingers through his hair. “i’m sorry. about everything.”

you didn’t know what to do. your heart was yearning for him. you missed him, so much. but he broke your heart, there was no going back from that.

so, you sat in silence, just staring at each other as people around were clapping and cheering for the person on stage. but you didn’t care nor did jensen. his whole world was sitting right in front of him.

a/n: okay so yeah i wrote a little sth and tbh im not sure how i feel about it lmao i just hope that you enjoy it guys <3

༄♡ tags: @internetitgirl17 @beausling @deanswidow @deansbite @aileenunfiltered @fitxgrld @figthoughts @angelicp0etry @hrtsoldierboy @titsout4nicholas

[sprintingowl]

Marvel Multiverse TTRPG

The Marvel Multiverse TTRPG is genuinely well designed and I am confounded.

Previously, I'd read Marvel Universe TTRPG (which is a completely different system written in the 90s) and was caught off guard by how clever *it* was. In it, you assign power gems almost like a worker placement minigame to pass checks, prioritizing effect vs safety.

Marvel Multiverse TTRPG is a totally different system by a totally different team, and now I have to confront the reality that there are at least two very elegantly designed and unfortunately Disney-owned Marvel TTRPGs.

So, what makes Marvel Multiverse work? Well, it starts with a bad idea.

Marvel Multiverse runs on a d616. This sounds *awful* but it's the best bit of tech I've ever seen in a game with this high a budget.

First, that 616 is actually 3d6. You roll and add up, and mathematically this gives you more average outputs. Also the "1" crits on a 1, and its 1s count as 6s. So it's basically an extra strong d6 that hands you crits 1/6th of the time.

If you crit but miss the target number you botch instead, but Multiverse's advantage/disadvantage system gives you the option of rerolling individual d6s. So you can try to hit the TN, or you can crit fish.

Also, that "1" tells you your attack damage. It's used as part of a formula that also factors in your stats and optionally weapon. No need for a second damage roll. You get a really high density of information out of a single pass through the 3d6.

Now, Marvel Multiverse is still a very traditional style TTRPG. You can hop from DnD to this and barely notice the change in scenery---it's just the dice are cleaner, faster, and more predictable. You're still moving around in 5 foot squares, using your suite of character-specific powers, swinging at and sometimes missing a rat.

But those rat-misses happen a fair bit less, and your special abilities all come from one big mana bar called Focus, and you can intentionally spam your powers until it puts you in a stupor.

Basically, I'd recommend this system to three people:

-It's Marvel Give Me Marvel

-I Want To Play Modern AU Superhero DnD

-Fellow Sleek Core Mechanics Enthusiast, This Core Mechanic Is Sleek AF

If those people are you, you may want to give it a look.

[real-fire-emblem-takes]

thinking about the fe games w/ routes (fates and three houses specifically but probably others idfk)

i think there needs to be more tragedy there. or opportunities for it i guess? or that fire emblem has to make unique death quotes for characters in general man

death in fire emblem feels so blah for me. more of an inconvenience than in other media. like when im playing DnD and an npc i love dies it isnt "man that sucks. anyway" but even w characters i love in fire emblem its just "man do i wanna reset the chapter for this that was so lame"

make death and especially betrayal related deaths Hurt More.

lets say youre byleth. youre teaching the black eagles, yay! but you have a b support with claude. you and claude are good buddies, maybe you just like claude as a character or its accidental because of x y z does Not matter. either way you are one of claudes closest friends. then the war starts, and you choose to side with a woman claude sees as a future tyrant (or at the very least a driven warmonger who might crush the alliance underneath her boot). imagine the hurt. the absolute fucking agony for claude.

and for byleth! byleth wakes up and their friend is gone. on another side, unreachable, 5 years of emotional distance *yawning* in front of them.

and then they reunite in the midst of battle, weapons drawn. theyve both come so far and have goals they *have* to achieve.

"I don't want this."

too bad. if you roll over, you get a game over because you fuckin failed the route. or you have to make someone else kill claude because sumn sumn mechanically you have a 0% hit rate bc of that b support. you cant do it.

too bad. claude cant run away, hes the last line of defense for a place hes responsible for. if he leaves what is he? a coward? a turncoat? would he have to believe in edelgard's future? would he have to slay his own allies, friends, the people who relied on him?

he cant. you cant.

he begs you to reconsider. you cant.

as he falls he reaches out a hand. you kneel beside him as he says a few things. calls this whole battle a clever gambit, praises your cunning in using effective weaponry, etc etc. but his voice is weaker. theres no option to spare him, you couldnt spare any *other* unit, could you? couldn't spare hilda. cant spare claude.

he mentions sometimes dreaming of the monastery. the food was good, right? hope the foods good in the future you build with edelgard. hope you name a town after him, thatd be fun. dont get stupid, teach, dont join him too soon. maybe he'll even wait for ya. keep a seat warm.

(fire emblem unit death sound)

then also: units in your own army.

lets say youre playing black eagles. its nearish endgame but not too close so i dont say any spoilers, but regardless bernadetta and yuri have an A support. they might get hitched postgame man, you havent done the A support of anyone else w those two. its a rough battle, your healer is severely low on psychic uses, you sold all your fucking vulneraries because you thought dorothea was more of a beast than she is. its dire.

unexpected sniper crit. yuri is on 0 hp.

bernadetta is within 5 tiles and instead of yuri's canned death quote, bernie interjects with one of the most well voiced anguished screams youve ever fucking heard. on the next turn, bernie gets +50 hit *and* crit on that enemy, and if she kills it the rest of the scene plays.

bernie is holding yuri, one of her few friends in her hellish fucking life. hes not gonna make it, she knows that, but shes still gonna try. shes wailing and begging him to stay like she wished she had all those fucking years ago, shes babbling about all the things he'll miss if he goes, all the things shes planned for them to do now that shes brave enough to leave her bedroom. he cuts her off to laugh. now is when she gets brave and honest with her feelings? when hes dying? oh bernie come on. he wraps an arm around her shoulders and pulls her in for a hug, kissing her temple like an old boyfriend and not a quiet yearning crush. he murmurs that hes glad she left her bedroom. that hes glad she can see the world beyond what abuse happened to her behind closed doors. that she'll find some other person to hold in his stead, one who wont so rudely get his blood on her battle leathers. one who wont leave her time and time again like he has. she wails into his shoulder as she drops the scraps of cloth she had been trying to use to stop his bleeding and just holds her dying friend.

(fire emblem unit death sound)

if death felt like An Event and not An Inconvenience i'd play with permadeath more man. make me sad fire emblem youre so shit at it

.

[arainywriter]

this is going to probably be the longest post of my life, and i HATE getting into fandom discourse which is why i don't usually write anything about fandom discourse, but i just want to address some things about our favorite rat grinders so if you want to read, click below

as someone who loves the rat grinders as nuanced antagonists who are also teenagers, i think the rat grinders before they ever joined in on porter and jace's plan were assholes.

i think they were the quiet bullies, the mean people who you never notice until they are mean to you, the ones who seem nice and respectable up close, but talk shit about you the minute you're gone.

i think most of them (kipperlilly in particular) were looking for a reason to be bad. and i know we might not ever get this confirmation, but based off kipperlilly's file and other moments with the trg, i think it's possible this is correct.

they were assholes who needed a reason to be even bigger, more dangerous assholes and most of them took it. and yes, it was either that or be dead, but i want you to know that sometimes that's not even a question. sometimes you don't even care about the other option, you just want to rage.

i think the one time all of them or maybe some of them even thought that what they were doing could be was when lucy died. and that's when i feel bad for them. they had to lock in right there because they all had made a decision, and they all needed to continue it. that's the manipulation.

i know they are kids. they are just teenagers. i work with teens, and guys, let me tell you, some teenagers are assholes. and i don't mean say a funny mean joke asshole, i mean literally going to grow up and be a shitty person asshole. i think some of the rat grinders were those kind of teens.

did they deserve to be redeemed? i think some of them do. i think buddy has a big shot at being redeemed, and i genuinely hated that he died in the last stand and had to make that decision. i think ally is going to try if they can. i think mary ann might be redeemed.

but also, you guys have to remember that this is dnd. i don't think many of you have played dnd before, or if you have you're just really conscientious about everything you do. because as a dm who has played dnd and has made nuanced antagonists, your players are gonna straight up kill them.

brennan knows that. i'm 100% sure he knows that. this isn't scripted. the intrepid heroes aren't thinking about what the fans want every time they play. in dnd, ESPECIALLY in brennan's dnd, it's kill or be killed.

the rat grinder's weren't going to use non-lethal attacks. they were going to kill the bad kids, and they were going to be UNNATURALLY happy throughout it all. they were going to spit in their faces and roast marshmallows on their bodies. they were going to not feel guilty.

sound familiar?

i think the bad kids have been nice to the rat grinders since day one. not kind, nice. they've been polite and nice to them, not going all in until this fight. if this fight happened before the finale, i think the rat grinders would have had more time to be redeemed (ex. see Ragh in season 1 who def would have died in the finale battle if the bad kids hadn't fought him earlier). but the bad kids are stressed and done.

there is no time to be polite and nice when the world is going to end.

i know you liked these characters. i did too. i'm sad to see them go, but even when someone is nuanced and could be redeemed, the person they were a piece of shit to doesn't have to be the one to redeem them. they don't have to be the one to keep them alive and make sure they only get taken the police instead of dead. cause trg would have gone to jail.

aelwyn did. so would they.

people you've wronged don't owe you forgiveness or redemption. trg didn't wrong tbk that bad, but they made them angry, they tried to kill them, and they're probably almost close to ending the world.

i'll miss you rat grinders. you guys were perfect narrative foils, but it was always going to end like this.

now stop being absolute assholes to the intrepid heroes just cause they didn't play how you wanted.

love this fandom, and yeah, d20 get shit wrong sometimes. always make sure to critique your favorite piece of media.

but at the end of the day, this isn't your table to play dnd at. this is theirs and they are having fun. why don't you go and play as the rat grinders in your home game and give them the ending they deserve, or make fanfiction about it?

put your anger into that.

[blushblushbear]

Scale, Seth and Haru husband headcanons pls?

ngl I think all 3 of these dudes would have a weird adjustment period to being husbands, though frankly I think Scale would maybe have the easiest time (well-- MAYBE Haru, but okay---)

Scale

I think the biggest change from boyfriend to husband is going to be him questioning if he should continue his assassin work

He's not going to set down his knives quickly or lightly but like----

he has a spouse now

he doesn't want them becoming a widow/widower

OR EVEN WORSE GETTING CAUGHT UP IN HIS BUSINESS??

bruh, he would DIE

I highly doubt he'd actually end up quitting but there WOULD be some changes around here

for starters--- he has a better divide between his personal and professional life

This is maybe me watching too much venture bros but I really do like the idea of Scale adopting a sort of on the clock/off the clock mentality ("That's my business-- but we're not at the office right now, ya see")

also he gets WAY more protective

your home is probably laced with all kinds of booby traps

and he DEFINITELY makes you run drills

like fire drills but instead of fire it's enemy assassins

Aside from the stuff pertaining to his career, he's actually a very sweet and loving husband

Not necessarily a 'I made a home cooked meal in my apron' every night kind of loving but more a 'I stopped by that place you like and got us dinner' type

also def kind of nerdy husband but less about magic or dnd and more about weapons and armor (though don't get it twisted, he'll get down hard on some dnd)

lots of quality time whenever he's home

lots of texts when he's away

lots of cuddles on the couch and falling asleep in each others arms

he knows your favorites and brings flowers when he's been gone for a while

you're his home <3

and frankly he's very protective of that home

Seth

okay honestly

Seth is probably the one who has to step up to being a proper husband the most

at the start he's definitely bad at this whole 'being a good husband thing'

but all it takes it you getting visibly frustrated with him a handful of times and he realizes he needs to up his game

his life is REALLY different now, but if he gets to spend it with you it's worth it

and for what it's worth he's actually really good at apologies

and also good about being sincere about them too, it's not just fluff to get him out of trouble

he's also very protective of you but he's not as 'DECLARATION OF HIS UNDYING LOVE AND PROTECTION AGAINST THE LIGHT OF THE MOON' as Scale is about everything

also is actually really good at listening to you vent/share work drama

also always offers to send your annoying co-workers to hell

you say no but the offer still stands

is only really good at barbecue and baking so anything too far past that you're gonna have to order in or cook for the night

also I don't know if he'd suggest this first but if the subject of having date night comes up he's actually really really about date night

likes to take you somewhere nice or fun or both

also will try to convince you to adopt a hellhound

this will be a forever conversation in your marriage, just letting you know now

Haru

so look

I'm not saying Haru would ever cheat on you

actually far from it

BUT I WILL SAY that going from a long ass life time of tom catting around every night to a committed long-term monogamous relationship is going to be a major life change for ANYONE

including Haru

that being said that's actually kinks you worked out early in your relationship

I do get the sense that Haru low key misses his old life a bit, but knowing you has changed him too much and he could just--- never go back ya know??

and frankly he wouldn't want to

but again that's like--- also stuff that was dealt with during boyfriend stage

actually honestly, once you're committed to each other, he legit doesn't see you as anything other than his mate

married or not his attachment is the same honestly

marriage isn't JUST a human thing but it's more of a you thing that a Haru thing

as far as he's concerned you two are as good as married already

all though who could pass up a party to show you off and celebrate your union???

so yeah-- you'll have to bring it up, but Haru is down to marry you right away

so I think with Haru, YOU'RE going to have to change your life the most due to marriage

he's kind of the leader of a whole group of people

he's not going to make you come live with them, but you ARE gonna have to at least be next door

that's gonna be the biggest marriage hurdle depending on who you are

though if push comes to shove he is willing to find a successor and run away with you

but low key please don't make him do that cause his people need him and he loves them and also he'd feel guilty about it FOREVER haha

but yeah past that married Haru is not much different from boyfriend Haru except he's a little bit more clingy/up front about pda etc cause HEY that's his SPOUSE, he's allowed

he also does REALLY LOVE calling you his spouse in front of anyone and everyone as many times as he can

[txttletale]

I'm not a dnd player or even a ttrpg player, so sorry if this is a dumb question, but in one of your latest dnd complaints (love these posts btw) you mentioned the d20 pass/fail system as a negative. Could you maybe explain why? The concept reminds me a lot of how disco elysium's skill check system works, which I enjoyed a lot, and I think I'm just not knowledgeable enough to see any meaningful difference here?

Thank you for your time :]

the key difference is that disco elysium consistently 'fails forward' -- when you fail a check in disco elysium hdb often does or saus something ridiculous and you get to experience some of the best dialogue of the game (ice-cop-hat-fuck-show, i want to have fuck with you, mr. evrart is helping me find my gun, limbic system karaoke, going to the island with cuno). the plot or scenario develops--the failure changes the situation in some way, or leads to a new interaction that spotlights a side of a character you wouldn't have seen otherwise.

and while this could happen in your dnd game if you houseruled it in, as the rules stand, the default outcome on a failure is 'nothing happens'. and this doesn't have to be the case! powered by the apocalypse / forged in the dark games have for a long time now made 'failing forward' (as in, failure always results in Something Happening, the plot moving forward, even if that thing is bad) a core part of their resolution systems. that's the main reason why binary 'you do the thing' or 'you don't do the thing' systems are kind of lame.

i mean, i think anyone who's played dnd can attest that casting a save-or-suck spell and having the enemy save or use a legendary resistance, or swinging for your one attack for a turn and missing, fucking sucks and is disappointing and boring. and these mechanics are in the game because of dnd's origin as an adaptation of wargames -- but in wargames you're usually rolling tons of dice because you're making 'saves' or 'to hit' rolls for dozens of individual units, so the chances of nothing happening are extremely slim.

so ultimately the difference is that failed rolls in dnd can (and most often do) result in boring anticlimax. also, because disco elysium uses 2d6, the roll distribution is a bell curve, which means you can be more sure you're going to be able to do something you're good at, while dnd is wildly swingy.

[talewind-arts]

The DoD would totally play rpgs growing up, I know realistically it would be Webs to tea h them about it, but young Dune totally would have played during his warrior fantasies, and later with Six-Ckaws in both the army and with the Outclaws. So I'd like to imagine that, when the DoD took interest in one of the scrolls Webs brought back (a how to play guide the older seawing prolly didn't think much of), Dune gruffly but reasonably encouraged them to try it out.

Tsunami would be the DM, but would probably keep getting into arguments with Glory and Starflight. Clay would just want to keep the peace, but he'd have a hard enough time figuring out the game. I think Sunny is very into it, but nobody listens to her, so Starflight ends up echoing her sentiments to keep the game moving. All in all, the DoD probably all get pretty into it, Glory probably lounged nearby during the session 0, watching but pretending not to care, until she quietly joined in the first session, with enough confidence that nobody openly questioned it when she described an intricatly fleshed out edgelord character (think full tween deviantart oc). Starflight was a rules lawyer, but they loved him and if it ever got bad someone would pounce on him and they would keep going. Already touched on Clay and Sunny, but Tsunami probably tried to make everything cool, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse when she did a bit too much railroading (She definitely sneaks the plot of the Missing Princess in there). Dune encouraged the DoD to stay with the game, waiting until any fights cooled down before suggesting they try again. There was no overarching story to the 'campaign', but the DoD were young and it was just something fun to do.

Later in life, Sunny decides to try and run a campaign for some students in Jade Mountain. She probably runs a couple different games for different students (at least one of them tries to involve Stonemover, but he's too sad for it), but the one we care about has Kinkajou, who dragged along Moon. Qibli of course came with her. Kinkajou also invited Tamarin, which means Anemone is there, too. Pike tried to follow, but he strikes me as the kind of dragon who thinks dnd is Satan worship, and won't get close.

Thanks to her character development, Sunny is actually a great GM, she's got Thorn's knack for people by this time, and it really helps in this situation. This table is actually pretty awesome. Kinkajou hypes everyone up and keeps them all confident in their choices, Moon is a good mediator of course, and Qibli is a delightful person to play alongside. Anemone sometimes struggles with being the bad kind of power gamer, but she's trying to be better and the group is very understanding. Tamarin maybe doesn't speak too much, but true to life when she does it's deeply impactful. This group does a lot of therapy thanks to Sunny running it, and other than Qibli and Anemone skirting the line, it's very family friendly.

Another JMA group is actually run by Turtle! He's a little nervous to commit to it, but Peril has always wanted to play and convinces him to run a oneshot after Clay talks about playing with his friends. She thinks Clay would like her more if she also understood the game (not knowing he never did), and Turtle used to play with his brothers in huge group games. They end up running drop in oneshots, but most dragons are pretty scared to play with Peril, save for a few. It ends up being very healthy for them, as it helps quiet Turtle branch out, and dangerous Peril get closer to other students. The funniest one is Pike, who as I said before thinks this game is evil. He thinks he is infiltrating the villainous practice to see if it is dangerous to Anemone, but ends up absolutely loving it, in secret of course. The trio ends up playing together more and more often as a way to get better at people together, and Pike becomes much less insufferable. These three get REALLY intense with rp, and eventually welcome a curious and dumbfounded Winter, who wants to learn after hearing about Moon and Qibli's group. These players should hate each other in one way or another, but they have a fun time being really aggressive and intense, and despite feeling intimidated, Turtle has a great time with such a heavy rp game.

Also, somehow through Winter the group ends up hosting a game with Linx and Snowfall, which is a crazy day.