#and this weekend was nice I had some time to myself which I haven’t had in ages but. I think I just miss everything really bad

[exopelagic]

okay I severely misjudged spaghetti guy he’s actually just really cool

[gurugirl]

The Big Tease | bfd!harry

*photo is for t-shirt placement visual only. please picture who you like as reader.

best friend's dad!harry x reader - forbidden relationship au

Summary: based loosely on this request - Harry comes to your place to make sure you're taking care of yourself and you find that as hard as you try to tease him, he's not giving in to you and then some high emotions are exposed.

Word Count: 7.8k words

Warning: 18+ only, NSFW, smut, angst, age gap, cheating

bfd!harry masterlist

You tried not to feel guilty about what you were doing with a married man. Your best friend’s dad. It was hard when it came to keeping it a secret from everyone. Keeping it a secret from Fae.

“Where’d you get this?” Fae brushed her fingers over the pretty little bracelet Mr. Styles gave you a few nights before. It was gold with three round light-colored opals in the center and two round-cut tiny diamonds on either side. It was dainty and sweet and you knew it was expensive after googling the brand and finding the exact item available online and in high-end shops nearby.

“Ahh… my mom and dad got it for me a while ago. Just haven’t worn it in a long time. Forgot it about,” you lied with a shrug. Lying to her made you nauseous.

“Really? How could you forget about this? It’s gorgeous! Looks really pretty on you too,” she complimented and you frowned as you looked down at it.

You hated lying to your best friend. But what could you do? You certainly wouldn’t admit to your affair with her father. And of course, you weren’t quite feeling guilty enough to put an end to it either. Mr. Styles was the best you’d ever had and you were completely smitten with him.

When you two finally made it back to your apartment after shopping and eating and stopping at the ice cream shop for a treat you’d also forgotten all the lovely flowers you had sitting around your living room and kitchen.

It had also become a thing where you’d get the most exquisite bouquets delivered to you every Monday morning. Peonies, roses, phalaenopsis orchids, and gardenias all stuffed with hardly any filler. You knew the bouquets he was sending you were hundreds of dollars a pop. But they were breathtaking.

You quickly assessed in your mind whether or not you’d removed the cards from them which would have given everything away should Fae see. Unlocking your door and letting yourself in first you quickly glanced around and the freshest bouquet clearly still had its card poking out of it. You made a beeline across the room as Fae closed your door behind her and plucked the tiny card out, crumpling it in your hand, and then bent down next to the table to pretend you were doing something else.

“Those are so pretty, Y/n. Oh my god. Do you have a flower service or something?”

You had three bouquets placed around your living room. One was clearly old and some of the flowers were drooping, losing their vibrant colors, while the newer ones were full of soft pinks and purples, crisp white and cream…

“Yes. I decided to start treating myself to nice flowers every week.” You smiled. Another lie. You couldn’t afford a weekly delivery of these kinds of flowers and if Fae bothered to research how expensive bouquets like this were she’d have questioned you further. But luckily she didn’t.

The bracelet, the flowers, your glow… all things she noticed, could have been an indicator of a lover but as far as you could tell she hadn’t connected the dots. Or at least she didn’t voice it to you.

Of course, everything could be explained. But she was your best friend. If you weren’t more vigilant, she’d be catching on soon, you were sure.

.           .           .

The following day after a morning shift at the restaurant you arrived home and collapsed on your couch. It was exhausting. The restaurant was only open for breakfast and brunch on the weekend (where normally it’s only a dinner spot the rest of the week) and it was slammed. Mimosas, eggs benedict, fancy French tarts, and pastries, huge parties of people, music, guests nursing hangovers… The restaurant was well known for its weekend breakfast and brunch with bottomless mimosas and Bloody Marys. The clientele were usually upper-class folks who didn’t mind spending $35 for their mimosa and then only ordering 2 when they could have had as many as they wanted. A local creamery provided butter, yogurt, and milk for your special breakfast dishes, and a bowl of fancy yogurt and some in-house granola was $15. The cheapest food item on the breakfast menu. The cheapest item on the menu was a cup of black coffee, refillable. Unless you ordered the free tap water.

You got lucky to eat anything while you served breakfast. It was typically too busy to take a bite of anything. But the tips were excellent because everyone was usually in a great mood.

You were startled awake by your phone vibrating in your back pocket. You’d fallen asleep without even realizing you’d closed your eyes.

Pulling the phone out from under your body you realized it was Harry calling you (he normally didn’t call unless it was prearranged).

“Hello?” You sat up as you answered.

“Baby! I was worried. Are you okay? I didn’t hear back from you.”

Harry had a thing where he wanted you to text him when you got home from work to let him know you made it safely, even if it was a morning shift. He was always so worried about you but you kind of loved it.

“I’m fine. Sorry! I fell asleep as soon as I sat down on the couch. God, I’m so exhausted. Fae was here late last night and then I had the breakfast shift so I only had like four hours of sleep…”

“Hey, it’s okay. I was just worried. I texted you and then never heard back. Just started to panic. Have you eaten?”

You smiled and his soft deep voice made you feel so comfortable and safe, “I haven’t eaten yet. I had a bit at work but just passed out as soon as I got here.”

“So you’ve only had something to eat at work? It’s already dinnertime, Y/n.”

Harry did have a tendency to sort of scold you like he was your dad. Maybe it was ingrained in him in some ways. To try and take care of you and remind you to do things like eat.

“Geez, Dad. I’ll get right on it,” you teased.

Harry was silent for a moment, which had you worried. Perhaps calling him ‘dad’ had been unwise.

But then suddenly his voice broke through the line, “I’m coming over. I have a feeling you don’t have any groceries and I’m gonna make you dinner. Something to eat.”

You scoffed, “I mean… I have food here. I will eat. You don’t have–“

“I’ll be there within an hour,” he interrupted and you nodded to yourself.

“O… Okay. Um… yeah. In an hour.”

.           .           .

You quickly showered and tossed your dirty clothes into your clothes hamper so they weren’t strewn about your bedroom floor. You tidied up and kept yourself busy until he finally arrived. You were getting all worked up knowing he was coming over.

You didn’t know what he had been telling Mrs. Styles about why he was leaving or when he’d stay with you overnight, or spend hours in your bed every week. Though there were times he could only come over quickly, most of the time he stayed with you long enough that he’d need a good cover story. You kind of hoped you could have him for the night.

When he knocked at your door and you opened it up for him you saw he had his hands full. One arm around a sack of groceries and in his other hand the bag he normally packed for when he was staying the night.

You smiled when you saw his handsome face and ushered him into your small apartment. He leaned in to kiss you quickly, “Just showered?” He asked.

“Well yeah,” you spoke as you closed the door and followed behind him to your kitchen, “I didn’t have the chance earlier because I fell asleep as you know,” you laughed.

“Mmhmm…” he grunted affirmatively as he began to remove the grocery items from the bag one by one.

You saw tomatoes, fresh basil, flour, mushrooms, cheese…

“What are you making?” You picked up the container of buffalo mozzarella and then looked at Harry.

“Margherita pizza. One of my favorite little recipes my mom used to make.”

You placed the container down, pulled his arm to drag him toward you, and stood on your tiptoes to kiss him.

He immediately paused what he was doing and wrapped his arms around you, deepening the kiss and then giving you a taste of his tongue.

But then he pulled away with his signature teasing smirk and went back to his task.

“You brought your bag. Gonna stay the night with me?”

He nodded as he folded the paper bag up neatly and then looked at you, “If that’s okay. Have to leave early, though.”

If that’s okay.

You laughed to yourself and nodded, “Of course, it’s okay, Harry. God, what I wouldn’t give to have you with me every–“ You stopped what you saying when you realized how suddenly serious that thought was. You did want him every night. You wanted him to yourself but you hadn’t discussed that with him before.

Harry placed the neatly folded paper bag down on your little counter and then pulled you back toward him with his hands on your hips, “Yeah? Every…? What? Every night? Want me every night, baby?” That same sneaky, devious smirk on his face had you melting and warm.

“I just meant, you’re always welcome,” you slid your hands up his chest and bit your lip. You were a little embarrassed that you admitted that but it was obviously too late now.

“I’m always welcome or you want me every night? Which is it?” He gripped you harder so you couldn’t escape his questions, his gaze.

You puffed a breath out through your lips with a laugh, “Both.”

He loosened his grip and brought a hand to your face, his eyes fixed to yours, “Both. I’d much prefer to be here with you every night too. Would if I could.” The thumb that trailed over your cheekbone and to your temple was soft and loving. You knew he meant what he said.

Harry’s pizza was superb. Your oven wasn’t quite right, he kept saying as he baked it but to you, it was the best thing that had ever come out of that cheap appliance.

“Usually like to make this in a brick oven. The one I’ve got in my backyard, but this will do in a pinch I suppose.”

Your mouth was full as you nodded, “So good.”

Harry laughed at your stuffed cheeks and the way you were gobbling down what he’d made.

“Aren’t you going to eat more?” You asked him finally when you’d swallowed your bite. He’d only had one slice.

“Already had dinner. But I wanted to feed you. Make sure you’re taking care of yourself.”

For some reason with a tummy full of Harry’s pizza and the kind gesture of his cooking to help take care of you had you reeling and needing more than just food.

Of course, it would have been impolite to just abandon cleanup but you were suddenly aware of how his sleeves were pushed up his forearms and how his dimples were extra deep accompanying his attractive smile. And his hair looked too tidy, you needed to get your hands in it. Needed to get him out of his clothes. Get those long fingers around your neck and touching your body immediately.

You set your plate down on the small kitchen table you were both sitting at and slid your hand up his thigh, “Oh is that why you came over here? The only reason?” You grinned and he leaned back into his chair and looked at you, keeping his own grin in check.

“Need to make sure my girl is healthy. Has everything she needs.”

“Yeah? And sometimes I need more than just food too, Mr. Styles.”

Harry crossed his arms over his chest and spread his legs slightly as you continued moving your hand upward, “Oh I know, sweet girl. You need a lot of things, don’t you?”

You nodded, “What about you? Do you need things too? From me? Anything I can help you with?”

Now his grin was breaking out over his face but it was cheeky, playful, “Of course I do.”

But he wasn’t giving in to your little game. He liked having you be the one to ask for it. You didn’t know why but he loved hearing you beg him. You always resisted begging. At first anyway. Sometimes he’d give in without you needing to.

“And what do you need from me?” You stopped short of putting your fingers over where you knew he was tucked under his pants. The obvious natural bulge he sported giving away where he normally liked to position himself.

“Whatever you’re willing to give me, love. But I’m here because you needed to eat first and foremost. And you needed some groceries.”

You laughed and skipped over his lovely cock and put your hand up to his chest, scooting your chair in a little closer, “I’ll give you anything you want, sir. All you have to do is ask.”

Harry smiled and licked his lips slowly, “I’m as content as I can be here with you right now. Could sit here all night listening to you talk. S’that what you want? Want to touch my chest,” he flitted his eyes down to where your hand was before looking back into your eyes, “and my thighs, and chat all night about my pizza making skills and your lack of healthy food?”

You folded your lips into your mouth to keep yourself from laughing. He was playing a game of chicken with you. You really wanted to win this time.

“Well, that does sound really nice. You’ve filled me up so good with your yummy pizza. Guess I don’t need anything more than stimulating conversation with you if that’s all you’re interested in.”

Harry swallowed and breathed a laugh out of his nose, “Fine. Pizza and conversation it is.”

You wanted to huff in frustration. He still had his arms crossed over his chest, just under where your fingers were toying with the buttons on his shirt. He wasn’t giving in. But you had a thought.

“I’ll be right back.”

You hopped up from the chair and pranced to your bedroom. If he wanted to tease so would you. Stripping off your sweats you dug out your thin white Hey Lover t-shirt and tied it up just under the center of your breasts, and black cheeky boy short panties. You’d pretend you were only getting comfy since it was already late in the evening. He’d know what you were up to but you could play it off like you just wanted to get into your comfy house clothes.

When you got back to the kitchen Harry was already cleaning up.

“Hey, let’s do that later. Wanna sit and talk a bit.”

Harry tsked you, his back still turned as he wrapped up the rest of the pizza in foil, “I worked hard on this. Don’t want it to go bad. You can go sit–“ when he finally turned his full gaze back to you he stopped mid-sentence. You saw his jaw clench and his nostrils flair.

Not fair. That was not fair of you.

You knew your top especially was going to drive him mad. It was thin and your nipples were poking through the material and he could certainly see the shadow of the deeper color of your areolas popping through.

And he did. You noted where his eyes roamed, pausing over your tits for a good few seconds before licking his lips and turning back around to finish his job.

“Go sit.” He said without a single note of sweetness or desire.

You smiled to yourself as you walked into the living room and sat on your couch. Putting on a little music you selected a good little playlist that you knew he’d like.

Trying to act as unbothered as you possibly could you found a comfortable position on the couch and leaned into your cushions as you waited for Mr. Styles to join you.

It wasn’t long before he was casually strolling into the living room and sitting on the couch, leaving a few feet between you two. He draped an ankle over his knee and sat back, looking totally cool and unbothered.

You stretched and gathered your hair into your hands to expose your neck as you spoke, “So, how was your day today, Mr. Styles? You already know all about mine.”

Harry nodded slowly as he looked at you, keeping his eyes on your face, “Normal. Woke up and worked out, read an article, and played some golf with a colleague. That’s it really. Now here I am feeding you and entertaining you with conversation,” he grinned and you saw his eyes quickly take in your neck.

You smiled and sighed, “Sounds nice. I’ve played golf a few times. I’m terrible at it, though. Once a guy who took me tried to straighten out my stance but it did no good. No matter how many times he helped me adjust my grip or pushed my legs to spread them out properly it just didn’t work,” you chuckled. It was true. You’d gone with a guy a couple of years back on a date. He was flirting with you when he tried showing you the proper way to stand and hold the club but it turned into making out in the golf cart and a quick fuck in his car before he dropped you at home.

“S’that so? He probably wasn’t a good player either if he couldn’t give you any tips to help you improve your game.”

You shrugged, “I don’t know. I think he was more interested in getting my clothes off than anything,” you kept your eyes on his to asses but there was nothing there that indicated jealousy.

You had to amp it up. Do something to make him lose it. Wanted to watch him thicken up in his pants.

Dropping your hair you tucked your legs under yourself and turned to face Harry. You knew he was trying his hardest not to let his eyes drop below your neck. He knew he’d be fucked if he took in the way the soft cotton stretched over your breasts.

“Anyway. Are you any good?” You allowed your own eyes to take him in fully. His composure was sure to falter at some point.

“Yeah. I’m all right. I can hold my own.”

His short answer was not exactly what you were hoping for but you didn’t let it deter you. For some reason, his standoffish behavior was getting you even more worked up.

“Bet you can hold your own. You’re just so naturally good at everything you do,” you moved your finger over your tummy, keeping your eyes on his, “I know first-hand.”

Harry raised his brows and the movement of your hand over your torso and then down toward the top of your panties had him dropping his sight to where you were softly ghosting your fingers along the elastic band. You tugged at the knot on your shirt before moving your hand back up toward your chest, your thumb pressed between your thin cotton t-shirt-covered tits.

He watched your fingers and then looked back up at you, “Do you? And what do you know of my skills?” He smiled softly. Still appearing totally unbothered.

You sighed and tilted your head, keeping your eyes on his before stretching your arms over your head and allowing your shirt to lift the tiniest bit, revealing the bottom of your breasts. You only put your arms down once you were satisfied that Mr. Styles had gotten a good look, “Well, for example, you just made me a pizza that was to die for. Also, you recently got promoted at work and now you’re some big shot,” you unfolded a leg from underneath your bum and stretched it out, pressing your bare foot onto Harry’s thigh, “And I’ve seen you work out,” you nudged his muscled thigh, “You put men half your age to shame. You’re so athletic…” you began to pull your foot away but Harry gripped your ankle and pulled your leg to drape over his thigh making you smile in triumph.  Though you’d not yet won this round, he was clearly giving in to you bit by bit.

“Hmmm…” Harry nodded and hummed quietly. He kept his hand on your shin and his eyes a safe distance from anything below your chin, “I know I’m good at a lot of things. Can make you dribble all over your chin by just pulling my pants down,” he licked his lips, “Feel like that’s a great skill of mine. What else…” his hand began to brush over your leg softly and you scoffed at him but of course, he was right. You both knew it. He made you drool and whiney and hot. He didn’t even have to do anything.

“That was one time. And you had your fingers in my mouth. It wasn’t because of your cock,” you lied. Well, his fingers in your mouth did have you drool down your chin and when he pulled his pants down, he teasingly pointed out how your chin was shiny and you’d dripped saliva down your neck and to your chest.

“No? Hmmm… but you were so desperate to get it in your mouth that you tried grabbing me and when I told you to be patient you whined and drooled all over the floor. You can pretend all you want, little girl. I see what you’re trying to do.”

You watched as his hand traveled up your leg and past your knee to your thigh, “Wearing this little getup… trying to seduce me. So desperate for me. But you’re gonna have to try a lot harder than this, Y/n. You can lie to yourself and pretend you're not bothered and change the subject and show me your pretty tits all you want. S’not gonna change the fact that you’re gonna wind up a messy little puddle begging me for anything I’ll give you. Isn’t that right?”

Your mouth dropped open in faux shock. He was right. But you weren’t ready to give up yet.

“Whatever you say, Mr. Styles. I know you like having your ego stroked. So go ahead and keep telling yourself that you’ve got the upper hand. We both know you’re already folding. I can sit here all night and chat with you like this if you want. Doesn’t bother me one bit.” You folded your arms across your chest with a grin.

Harry laughed quietly and shook his head. You were fun. He loved these moments with you. Loved giving you a hard time. Loved when you gave him a hard time. He softly pinched the inside of your thigh and you laughed, attempting to pull your leg away but he held you in place, large palms keeping your leg over him, fingers digging into your skin.

“Darling, you forget who you’re dealing with. I’m not the one resorting to skimpy clothes and trying to hide how turned-on I am. I see you trying to keep your legs pressed together. Hiding something,” he jutted his chin toward you and looked over the spot between your legs where he knew your panties covered up a tiny secret.

You wore black panties on purpose. Any wetness would be easier to hide, but keeping your legs pressed together could ensure he didn’t see the wet patch that had begun to spread. However, the way he was holding your leg over his lap made it quite difficult for you to not open your thighs a little.

“You just love to imagine that you’ve got me all bothered. But you’re wrong. I’m totally fine.”

Harry smiled and pulled at your leg further, causing a small yelp to slip out from your mouth followed by a tiny bit of laughter at the way you lost balance when you were pulled toward him, your other leg being tugged at to drape over his thigh.

“Good. Then we can just sit here and talk about the weather and maybe politics if you’re into that. Or is there another topic you had in mind since you’re so keen on just sitting chatting all night?”

You steadied yourself, back against the cushion as you pressed your legs together again and looked up at him innocently, “Randy called me the other day. Said he missed me. Apologized for being rude when we were together. That was nice to hear. The apology,” you wiggled your hips to fix your seating so you could appear more casual, despite having your legs in Harry’s possession over his lap.

Harry’s large palms ran up the outer sides of your thighs slowly before dragging back down to just above your knees, keeping his eyes on yours, “Oh really? Thinking about getting back with him then?” He spoke trying to tamper the playful smile on his face.

You snorted a laugh and grinned teasingly, drawing your fingers across your breasts, “Nahh… I can do better. I mean… maybe if I’m desperate and just need to scratch an itch. You know? Being a single girl gets hard at times. My dildo is only gonna give me a small taste of what a man can. Even if he’s not great in bed.”

Biting the inside of his cheek he nodded with dark eyes, “Would be such a shame to waste a good fuck on Rudy like that when you’ve got me at the helm. Of course, you're too stubborn to admit it. All you have to do is ask.”

 You sighed and dropped your hands to your lap with a pout, “Randy. His name is Randy. But anyway… I don’t have to beg Randy to fuck me. He’s never pretended he was unbothered by me. Always quite straightforward really. If he wanted sex all he had to do was tell me. You on the other hand,” you poked your finger into his arm, “like making it hard for me, which is quite impolite. So I’m okay with not having sex if you just aren’t up for it.”

Harry pushed a laugh out through his nose at your tease, “Rudy sounds like a fucking bore. And he never gave you an orgasm. Either you have really bad taste or you’re just a tease. I have a feeling I know which it is, too. Little girl likes to play games. I can play games if you want. But you know I’m gonna win.”

You knew he was right. You wanted his cock but he wasn’t budging. All you had to do was admit it. Ask him politely. And you would when you couldn’t handle it any longer but you were having fun and the back and forth was like foreplay for you.

He kept one hand grasped around the outside of your thigh while his other smoothed inward, fingers pushing your thighs apart the tiniest bit and then gently dancing upward. If he moved his fingers too far up he’d feel how damp you were already.

“I’m not playing games,” you spoke matter-of-factly, watching as his hand traveled over your skin, “I can just tell maybe you’re tired Perhaps you’ve had a long day and it’s almost bedtime for you. I mean I get it,” you laughed in preparation for what you were about to say, “When you get to be your age things just slow down a little. It’s okay if you’re not up for it tonight, sir.”

Harry pulled his lips into his mouth and closed his eyes as he laughed at your attempt to provoke him.

When he looked back at you his expression was serious as he pried your legs apart, swiping the pad of his pointer finger right over the wet material of your panties and raised his brows as if he was shocked. Though you knew he was goading you, “You know goddamn well that my age has nothing to do with my libido. Difference between me and you is that I have incredible willpower and I know that you’re gonna be begging me to stuff your pussy before the night is over.”

You laughed and shook your head, “Nope.”

Harry pressed his thumb right over where your clit was already aching and grinned, “Yep.” Popping the p for emphasis. “See I’ve already got you soaking your panties. Goosebumps on your legs. Your nipples are hard. Your face is warm. I bet your heart is pounding too, just wishing you were getting the life fucked out of you right now. And you could be,” he spoke lowly as he slid a finger under the fabric of your panties and smoothed it over your skin, but not touching your crease or your clit like you hoped, “If you just admit it.”

You noticed that his cock had plumped under his pants. A good sign, you figured, “Nothing to admit. I might be turned on but I can hold out. In fact, I’d bet you’re not in much better shape with your cock swelling up like it is. You need this wet pussy to soothe that big dick, don’t you?”

Harry’s undisturbed body language was a concern because even though his prick was growing harder by the minute, you were starting to boil while he still seemed unphased.

“Oh, honey…” Harry smiled at you like you were a pitiful thing, “I’m doing just fine. In fact, probably just gonna fuck my own fist before we go to bed since you’re so stubborn. Maybe I’ll let you watch me too. I’ll be just fine. Just love being here with you. We don’t always have to have sex.”

You clenched your jaw and huffed imagining that scene. Having Harry yank his cock with his big hand until he was coming on your floor. You’d want to lick it up off the floor too. Scoop it all up and swallow it down. He had you obsessed with his come. Well, with him in general.

You tried to think of something to say but your brain was stuck on the image of him slowly stroking his fat cock and saying filthy shit to you while you tried to hold it together and not give in to your own urges.

“What’s wrong, baby?” Harry lifted a hand to your face and brushed his thumb along your jaw and up over your cheek, “Need to tell me something?”

Your lips parted and you breathed out a small whimper and squished your eyes closed. Your determination was crumbling with his soft touches.

“S’okay. If you don’t mind,” Harry pushed your legs off of him and quickly began to unbutton his pants, “S’getting tight in there…” he pulled his pants down just a touch so that the bulge under his briefs was now poking out and he had a bit more space to breathe.

He pressed over his erection and straightened himself out and suddenly the tip of his cock was peeking out over the band of Calvin Kleins. You closed your eyes again and tried to will yourself to not give in to him. But what was fair was fair. You were teasing him with your body and now he was returning the favor.

When you heard Harry chuckle you opened your eyes to look at him and your head was fuzzy. He was literally mouth-watering. He’d unbuttoned his shirt so you could see his tattoos and the large erection poking out from his briefs was like an actual cherry on top of it all. You licked your lips and swallowed down your saliva as you stared at his swollen head. It looked like something you could just pop into your mouth and suckle on if you weren’t so stubborn.

But Harry loved how stubborn you were. You really did make him work for it. You were exciting and sweet and he loved the way you teased him.

“If you want some you can have some, sweetheart. I know you’d like a taste. S’right there for you if you just ask politely.”

You groaned and looked away from him but your eyes were burning and all you could think about was straddling his lap and pushing his briefs down so you could fuck yourself on him. You were actually vibrating and pulsing you were so turned on.

And when you thought about it all… how this was all just a game anyway. How you both knew you’d end up with his come dribbling out of your cunt and satisfied and fucked out before you went to bed you laughed, “Fuck it…” you said as you crawled yourself over his lap and Harry’s hands found your hips, “I want you. Okay? You win.”

He had a pleased smile on his face when he felt you press your soaked panties over his briefs and plaster your lips over his in finality.

He would have laughed and teased you for giving in but he was thankful you did. Because he was aching for you.

You were desperate too. You pulled away from the kiss and put your hands down to his briefs and pushed at the material before sliding the crotch of your panties to the side and letting your wet hole kiss his tip softly as you looked into his eyes, “Can I please have it?”

Harry’s smirk fell from his face the moment you began to lower yourself, coating him in your slick arousal, “Yes. Take what you want. Fuck…”

The music was soft and you could barely hear the lyrics as you began to work yourself down and up along his length. You moaned as you felt him poke deep and keened, sucking in a sharp breath, “So thick…” you panted.

You were wetting Harry’s briefs and the tops of his pants but he didn’t care in that moment. He’d take care of the issue after you were done, “Yeah? Needed to stuff yourself with my cock didn’t you darling? Feels good?”

You nodded and held onto the back of the couch as Harry moved his hands from your hips up to the bottom hem of your top and pushed the material up so he could finally look at your pretty breasts. His favorite. He leaned in and suckled your tit into your mouth and you gasped softly.

You began to ride him a little faster, sticky slick noises coming from between your bodies as you writhed up and down his cock.

“Harry!” You shouted his name in a desperate plea. You didn’t know what you were pleading for but you just wanted more. His tongue and lips and teeth on your tits and his heavy, hard dick inside of you were really all a girl could ask for.

Harry moaned and licked over the spot he nipped next to your nipple and moved his lips over your soft flesh as he spoke, “Poor thing… so needy for me. Should have just given in the first time I told you to, baby.”

The couch under you squeaked gently as you rose and fell over him. The relief of having him inside of you had you tearing up.

Harry tilted his head back to look at your face. And just as he expected you were completely insatiable. Your expression was hungry and lusty with your lips parted, a pained look across your features.

Harry cooed at you and slid his hands up from your soft breasts to cup your face and make you kiss him. Your mouths moved together slowly as you shifted over him, slowing down a little now that your mouths were connected.

Harry pulled away, keeping his hands at your face, “Slow down a little bit. Here…” he dropped one hand to your hip and stilled you, pushing you down all the way over his shaft until you were firmly seated in his lap and his tip was stuffed so far inside of you it hurt making you whine and quiver.

“Like that. Just sit and feel me. No need to hurry. Gonna always take care of you. Okay?” His lips pressed over yours again and you moaned into his mouth.

You acted as if you were starved. You canted your hips slightly to glide your clit against his pelvic bone and he gasped and pulled away again, “I know you need it, baby. Just slow down. You were so desperate weren’t you?” He thumbed at your cheek and wiped your tears with a grin, “Always my good girl. Aren’t you?”

You bit your lips and whimpered as you nodded. You felt like a pathetic girl. It was like the moment his cock was inside of you all your good sense flew out the window and you were a melty, needy puppy in despair, deprived of attention and love. You needed more and more and more every time he entered you. It only got worse as the months crawled on and your affair got more serious.

“I wanna be your only good girl. Please…” You slid your shaky fingers into his hair and smoothed your lips over his with a tremulous breath.

Harry rocked upward, dipping into your sensitive insides and you gasped again, parting your lips from his.

“Look at me, Y/n…” Harry spoke as he moved a hand to the back of your neck.

You locked eyes with him and your sad little pout had him leaning in to give you a soft kiss at the corner of your mouth before he looked back into your eyes, “You’re my good girl. No one else. Just you, baby. Understood?”

You nodded and sniffled, “But I’m not,” You jutted your bottom lip out like a child and felt ridiculous. You didn’t know what had you so emotional suddenly. Maybe it was the build-up and all the teasing. Or the way you always gave in to him and he was so cool and secure in himself while you were shaky and desperate.

Harry moved a hand down your back and kept his other hand brushing softly over your cheekbone, “Yes you are. You’re mine. You’re my only.”

You didn’t want to say it. Hated to bring it up but you couldn’t help it or you thought you’d explode if you didn’t tell the truth, “But you’re married. I might be yours but you’re not mine.”

He hadn’t quite expected it. You knew the situation. He couldn’t just leave his wife of 20+ years. It didn’t work that way. But to hear you say it was… well it gave him pause.

“Okay. I am married. But I’m here with you right now, Y/n. Because I’d rather be here with you. Wish I could be here every night. And I would if I could.”

You nodded. You knew he’d prefer to fuck you rather than his wife. That part was understood. But he’d never actually choose you over her when it came down to it. “I know. I’m sorry for bringing it up. I just… I’m starting to…” You swallowed the words your heart wanted to reveal but you stopped, “Just want to see you more I think. Once a week or every other week isn’t good for me. Need you more. I think that’ll make me better. I’m sorry… I don’t know –“

Harry shushed you and stroked your back softly, “I want to see you more too, baby. Should we think of a way to make it twice or three times a week even? Will that make it better?”

You smiled and nodded, “Three times a week? Oh my god…” You kissed him and squealed at the idea of having him three times a week.

Harry laughed and nodded, “If it makes you happy. Didn’t know you needed more, honey. Didn’t want to make you sick of me.”

You laughed in return and shook your head, “I could never be sick of you, Harry. I’m…” You stopped yourself once again. The words on the tip of your tongue but that wouldn’t be fair. To you nor to him. “I’m happy you want that too.”

Harry’s fingers on your face felt soft and comforting, “Of course I want that. I want you happy. And that would make me happier too.”

You felt dizzy with love and excitement as you pasted your lips to his and began to rock your hips slowly again.

You knew you were selfish. Knew you were getting in too deep but you didn’t care. Maybe down the road one day it would hurt but for now, you would be happy with anything he gave you.

Suddenly Harry shifted and brought his arm to cradle you close as he laid you down flat on the couch, his thick cock still inside of you. But now he was hovering over you with a dark smile on his face, “I need to fuck you like you’re mine. Show you I mean it,” he said as he pulled your legs up, calves pressed over his shoulders, and began to roll his hips into you. The springs in the couch cushions danced under your back and creaked as he picked up the pace.

You coughed out a moan and squished your exposed tits together. You still had on your shirt, tugged up above your tits, and your underwear, and Harry still had his clothes on, while his shirt was unbuttoned and his pants were down past his bottom. You were both the picture of neediness, not even bothering to take the time to undress fully.

Harry held onto the back of your thighs as he plunged in and pulled back to his tip, before plowing his cock into the hilt again. Every time his hips met the back of your thighs the sticky sound of your arousal on his cock was unmistakable.

He swatted at your thigh when you began to slip from his hold, your leg wobbling free from his shoulder, “Stay put. Keep your legs up,” he grunted.

You gasped and nodded, “Yes, sir…”

Every dip of himself into you felt divine. His cock pushing into your insides and slipping into your guts repeatedly was noisy and delicious.

Harry moaned, unable to hold back how good it felt to be inside of you.

You looked up at him and saw how gone he was. His soft raspberry lips were parted and his eyes were dark as he gasped and panted. His thrusts were becoming harder and sloppier and he was breathing hard. You wanted his come.

“Need it, Harry. Give it to me…” you whispered as you brought a hand up to his jaw and he kept his eyes on you. He was shaking with desire you could feel it.

“Fuck, honey…” he groaned and clenched his jaw. He wanted to make you come first but his own emotions were getting him keyed up and he was already leaking a steady stream of pre-come into your pussy with each stroke.

He stopped his motions and sucked in a sharp breath as he lowered a hand to your clit, “Need you to come first, okay? Then I’m gonna fill your pussy like you need, baby.”

With his thumb on your clit you cooed in ecstasy. You had no idea what you were saying as you felt electricity begin to thrum through your body, winding its way around your ribs and down your spine, and into your tummy where sparks began to turn to fire as he began thrusting into you again.

“Want you to fuck your come deep into my womb. Breed my pussy, sir…” You moaned your words unable to stop it.

Harry grunted and he popped his eyes open to look down at you in shock. He knew you were on birth control and knew it was highly improbable but still, your words had him reeling and feeding his breeding kink, something that had been dormant for many years. You tended to awaken old feelings he once relished in.

And he wasn’t sure if he actually want to get you knocked up but just hearing that fed into something deep and instinctual that had been pushed down. Something primal. You had unleashed a tsunami of emotions and now this?

He began to hammer into you and your legs fell from his shoulders as he fucked himself down into you so hard you saw stars and you gurgled as you came around him, unable to voice your dirty thoughts as your pussy pulsed and squeezed around him.

“Fuck!” Harry barked loudly when he felt you come and he allowed himself to indulge in the fantasy that you’d tapped into, “Gonna knock you up. Fuck you til your all bred and full with my cock and my babies. That what you want? Stuffed full of me in every fucking way?”

Harry throbbed as he finally poured into you, pushing his cock into you as deep as he could manage, balls tucked up against your bum as he whimpered with each tight roll of his hips upward. Imagining his come seeping into you and having it stick. Getting you pregnant. Making you his forever.

He collapsed over you and slid his tongue into your mouth as you brought your arms around his back to keep him close.

Pure hedonistic, rapturous oblivion.

Your heart pounded as he kissed you and you felt him trembling in your arms just as you were in his.

You longed to speak the words you knew you felt but it wasn’t right. You’d want him to say it first. Wanted him to admit it. Wanted him to want you.

But Harry was feeling it all heavy and deeply just the same. His own longing to show you exactly what he felt and that even though he’d play off those words he spoke as he came inside of you, he meant it in a way. He’d love to see you pregnant with his babies. Have you as his own for good. Tell you what he felt deep down.

You smiled into the kiss and Harry pushed himself up to look down at you.

“Just what I needed, Harry. Always know how to make me feel so so good.” You pushed your fingers into his hair and gazed into his pretty eyes and watched as his grin widened.

“Mmm… Ditto. Need you more than just once a week, baby. I did mean that you know.”

You bit your lip and closed your eyes to let that idea sink in a bit. Harry grunted as he moved and you suddenly felt a pinch at the back of your thigh and you laughed, opening your eyes.

“Did you hear me?”

You nodded, “Yes, sir. Three times a week is what you said. That sounds like as close to perfection as I could ask for.”

Harry nudged his nose to yours and let out a soft breath, “Just want more of you, baby.”

Feedback/Thoughts | Support Me! | Main Masterlist

Thank you for reading! I appreciate any support so remember to comment, reblog, & like 💕

Tags: @michellekstyles @golden-hoax @a-strange-familiar @yousunshineyoutempter @tenaciousperfectionunknown @swiftmendeshoran @luvonstyles @tiaamberxx @lukesaprince @dirtytissuebox @closureesny @lhharrylilpumpkin @justlemmeadoreyou @itsgigikay @angelbabyyy99 @lllukulele @lanadelharry @novasblogofstuff @gills-lounge @damnasstyles @malwtilda @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @0oolookitsme @babybunharry @anothermannharry @love-letters-to-uranus @itjustkindahappenedreally @kelly-fushiguro345 @harrys-foxy @ssaama @onlyangellucifer @harryistheonlyoneforme @butdaddyilovehim-hs @reveriehs

[embrosegraves]

𝕊𝕥𝕒𝕪 𝕀𝕟𝕤𝕚𝕕𝕖

(request) Fernando Alonso x Fem!Reader As much as he loves it, Fernando is a bit confused as to why his wife is refusing to let him go anywhere.

Warnings: none. maybe some spelling errors.

Fernando is, in the words of many, a certified DILF. He’s always had the attention of women his entire career, however lately he has become more and more popular amongst teenage girls. You couldn’t blame them, of course not. If you were a teenager still, you would be the exact same. Even now, his teenage fans considered you, his wife, as “one of them”. You had fun chatting and interacting with his fans on social media because you all agreed on one crucial thing. Fernando Alonso was hot as fuck. 

One afternoon, you had been lounging on your couch and scrolling through tiktok. A lot of Fernando’s fans tended to tag you in edits they’d made of him. Clicking on the most recent tag, a video appeared of a girl who only just looked the legal age. 

“This is a message for F1’s resident MILF, Y/n Alonso.” 

She spent the next few minutes talking about different clothing trends that she thought would look nice on Fernando. One such trend was a formal suit without a shirt or vest. You privately agreed that he would look amazing, but the one that really caught your eye was the trend that went around a few years ago. Of men wearing light grey sweatpants. Of course you knew why the trend was so…big. It made you curious as to whether Fernando also had a pair of grey sweatpants. 

Getting up from the couch, you decided that you would look through the wardrobe and have a look. If he did, you were going to have to try and convince him to wear them for you. For science. You started looking through all of his clothes and were a bit disappointed when you couldn’t find any. Being so deep in your musings, you hadn’t heard Fernando come back inside from his workout in the backyard. 

“Hola, Mi Amor.” 

Fernando laughed at the shriek that left your mouth. Turning around you started scolding him for scaring you, until you realised what clothes he had changed into after he showered. 

The grey sweatpants you had been looking for. 

Fernando had apparently not noticed your brain short circuiting. Your husband wasn’t always the smartest, but at least he was pretty. He continued talking to you, completely unaware of the effect his clothes had on you. 

“I was thinking we should go and get some groceries later. Mama sent me the recipe for this bread I haven’t had since I was a child.” 

“That sounds great, Guapo,” you said, shaking out of your stupor, “but I think I’m too tired to get groceries today. We could go tomorrow if you’d like?” 

“I can always go by myself if you don’t want to, I don’t mind.” Fernando frowned a little. It was almost lunch time, how could you be tired still?  

Frantically you shook your head. Snaking your arms around his waist, you looked up at him through your lashes. 

“No, I want to go with you, tomorrow. When I won’t be as tired.” You gave a demure smile, really trying to discreetly convince him to stay home. You knew that if your reaction to seeing your husband like this — in the comfort of your own home — was this dramatic, the teenage girls on tiktok would go ballistic. You had to prevent that as much as you could. 

Which is why you knew that Fernando would bend to your every wish if you looked up at him and bat your delicate eyelashes. Just as you predicted, his hands gently rubbed the length of your body. 

He smiled at you and nuzzled his ever-growing stubble into the crook of your neck. “Okay. We’ll go tomorrow.”

“Can we lay down for now? At least until I need to make dinner.”

“We can do whatever you want, Corazón.”

Weeks later, Fernando had come home early from a race weekend. He hadn’t seen your car in the driveway so he assumed that you were either still at work (it was monday after all) or you had gone to the shops for something. The thought of being there for you to come home to, as you usually were for him, made him more giddy than he’d’ve liked to admit. 

He had quickly taken a shower, putting on his most comfortable pair of grey sweatpants, and started to prepare a nice snack and drink for you. Just as he put the last thing on the plate for you, he heard your car pull up the drive. Excited to see you after so long apart, he opened the front door and started walking towards your car. 

Still sitting in your car, you had been checking your phone when Fernando knocked on the driver's side window. Seeing him standing next to your car door, your eyes widened. You had immediately clocked onto the fact that he was wearing the sweatpants. Grabbing your things and opening the door, you got out as quickly as you possibly could. 

“Welcome home, Mi Amo—“ 

“Get inside! Quickly!” 

Fernando was confused. More confused than he had been a few weeks ago when you were too tired to go to the store with him. 

“Why the rush?” 

“No questions, just please go back inside the house!” 

Despite knowing that you lived in a relatively private area, your neighbours usually stuck to themselves, you couldn’t help but worry that someone had gotten a picture of Fernando in his grey sweatpants . 

Once you were both inside, Fernando sufficiently confused, you started to relax a little. 

“Is everything okay Amor? Why were you rushing?” 

You hummed. “Hmm? Oh, sorry I thought I’d seen some paparazzi. I was just a little worried.”

Later that same day, you were in your kitchen mixing yourself a cocktail to sip on while watching some TV. You could hear Fernando on his phone scrolling through his tiktok feed. Which would’ve been fine, if you hadn’t heard exactly what tiktok he was watching. 

Fernando didn’t often get videos about clothes on his for you page, but he felt compelled to sit through a video that came up about possible outfits for him to wear. What had really gotten his attention was that the video had been addressed to you. 

“This is a message for F1’s resident MILF, Y/n Alonso.” 

He was intrigued so he continued to watch the video. it wasn’t until the girl started explaining the Grey Sweats Trend that he finally figured out why you didn’t want him going outside. Curiously, he checked the comments to see what people thought about the trends she pointed out, only to see that you had left a comment on the video yourself.

yn.alonso 🔵 I think I'm gonna gatekeep the grey sweats 🤭 fernandoFan14 creator I can't even be mad 🫠

Shutting off his phone he walked into the kitchen to find you humming to yourself. You had been trying to pretend that you hadn’t just heard what he was watching. You tried to continue making your drink as if nothing was suspicious but you had to freeze when Fernando wrapped his arms around your waist and pressed his whole body against your back. You didn’t often curse the height difference between the two of you, but with the way he was perfectly aligned with your backside, you couldn’t help it. 

“Is everything alright, Cariño?” You asked, trying your hardest to ignore the way he was pressing and practically rubbing against you. 

“I heard you were gatekeeping me from my fans.” 

“Who said that?” 

He chuckled. “You should know exactly who said it, Amor.” 

He attached his mouth to your neck and started placing slow, open kisses all the way from your shoulder to behind your ear. You knew in an instant that it was going to be a long night ahead.

My mind has been so centred on ABIN that I've basically had writer's block for anything that isn't for that series, so I apologise for how long this request has been sitting in my inbox.

otherwise, I hope you all enjoyed <3

[omegastation]

Hi. I haven’t used Tumblr in such a long time. It's kinda weird. Last time was two years ago...

I went to Valencia in Spain a few months later. Some parts of it reminded me of the Citadel. I wanted to write about it here, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t really come back here because I couldn’t play the game. I couldn’t concentrate at all, couldn’t finish a simple mission, couldn’t just “play”. I’m still in my first Legendary playthrough if you can believe it. I was losing something that brought me joy and didn’t really know what to do.

And the long story short about my time away: I got a Master’s degree while still working (evening & weekend classes). It’s fairly recent, I learned in June that I got a "Grande Distinction" (with great distinction? idk how to translate it well in English, it's just one of the highest marks). So that was nice :)

Less nice: I got a severe pulmonary embolism in November. My lungs are okay but I have to deal with daily hyperventilation now, which means I’m quite tired and need to make an appointment soon for respiratory physiotherapy. If you’re wondering, I don’t smoke and I’m fairly active. What else? I’m about to self-publish (finally!!!) my collection of short stories in French. Mom helped me yesterday, we ordered printed books. So I'm still writing. Reading and knitting all the time. And I’m still working at the same job I was working at, and I’m happy there, though it can be demanding and I have to be careful not to overwork myself.

In the end, I did manage to come back to the game and finish a mission. Not only that, but I played more missions, and that was a real "omg I can do it" moment. And the more I play, the more I want to talk about it. So there you have it, I hope I can come back and just try to enjoy myself in a chill way. I don't know how long, we'll see. I think time has helped me, at least, to look at things differently. I don't want to feel any type of obligation. I want to do things for fun because it's fun, and let that be enough.

It’s been so long, the fandom has probably changed a lot. Some people might be gone. I’ll reintroduce myself one way or another, but right now I’ll just find stuff I like to reblog and talk about all the ideas that come to mind. Bear with me if it has been said recently or so many times before. I just feel like starting all over again and I missed a lot of posts. My memory isn't what it's used to be either tbh...

Finally, I hope you’re all doing well. Thank you to the people who sent me messages. One person wrote that they missed me. I don’t know who they are, it was anon, but that really moved me, because I really did miss this community and all the discussions we had. I also miss, as always, Dustie who has been gone for a while now.

Anyway. Thank you.

[waitimcomingtoo]

Meatballs! At the Unspecified Celebratory Event

Pairing: Tom Holland x ex!reader

Synopsis: you and Tom see each other at a family event for the first time since your breakup

Masterlist

“Thanks so much for having me. It’s good to see you again.”

“Of course. You know you’re always welcome. Now go grab some meatballs. I made them myself.” Sam said and squeezed your arm. You smiled in return before going over to the food table.

You put a few meatballs into your plate and mingled in the crowd with friends of the family that you hadn’t seen in a while. You heard someone being greeted by several people as they came in and looked up out of curiosity. Thats when you and Tom made eye contact. You quickly looked away and turned your body while you prayed that he hadn’t seen you. He had, of course, and was immediately making his way over to you.

“Hey.” Tom said when he finally got to you.

“Your mom told me to come.” You said at the same time. You then both apologized at the same time for cutting the other off.

“Oh. Sorry. You first.” Tom said and gestured to you.

“Sorry. Your mom told me to come.” You quickly explained. “I told her it would be too weird now that we’re broken up and everything but she insisted. Plus, I wanted to support Sam.”

“It’s okay. I’m really glad you’re here. I’m happy to see you.” Tom said sincerely. You smiled awkwardly and looked around the crowd to avoid eye contact. Tom looked around the crowd as well and briefly wondered that the purpose of the gathering was. The awkward silence went on for so long that it became palpable and you couldn’t take it anymore.

“Look, Tom, I really never would’ve shown up like this if I knew you were gonna be here. I’d hate to make things awkward. But Harry told me it was safe to come. I thought you were filming in LA?” You asked and felt yourself cringing over how much you were over explaining your presence.

“I am. I have the weekend off so I came to support Sam.” Tom answered and felt disappointed now that he knew you hadn’t come just to see him.

“Oh. That’s nice. I love LA. It’s so…hot.” You faked another smile and looked away. Tom felt the conversation falling flat but was desperate to keep talking to you.

“So, uh, you still keep in touch with mum?” He asked you.

“Yeah, yeah. Not that much, though. She checks in on me and I do the same.”

“That’s nice. And I’m guessing you still talk to Harry since he told you I was filming?” He asked and looked over at Harry who had conveniently never mentioned that he was still in contact with you.

“Oh, yeah. Him too.” You laughed nervously. “We were good friends so, yeah. He and I still talk.”

“And you came to support Sam. Who must’ve sent you an invite. To your new place. Since you moved out.” Tom realized with a tight smile.

“He actually didn’t send it to my new place. He gave me an invite the last time I was over his place, so…” You trailed off when you realized your attempt to make him feel better was probably just making things worse.

“Which was…” Tom asked.

“Oh, a couple weeks ago. He had me and Paddy over to try some new recipe. It wasn’t anything serious.” You explained and tried to make it sound as uneventful as possible.

“I see. So you’re still talking to the whole family. Everyone but me.” He said with a tight smile. You could see the sadness in his eyes now that he had learned this information and wished you hadn’t said anything.

“Yeah. Sorry. It felt wrong to just cut ties completely. It’s not like I broke up with them.” You laughed awkwardly.

“Right. Just me.” He returned the laugh and sounded just as awkward. An uncomfortable silence fell between you for a long time now that you had run out of things to say. You made brief eye contact with him and quickly looked away as you scanned the party for something to talk about.

“I haven’t talked to your dad since the breakup, if that helps.” You said finally.

“It helps a little.” Tom shrugged.

“Oh, good, it does?”

“Not really.” He admitted. “Nothing does.”

“Yeah. Me either.” You shrugged and took a long sip of your drink. Tom’s eyebrows went up in surprise to hear that you were struggling just as much.

“Really?” He asked quietly. You looked into his eyes and debated telling him just how much you missed him. You ultimately decided against it since it wasn’t the time or place to have that conversation.

“The food was really good, wasn’t it? I loved the meatballs.” You asked to change the subject. You had no idea how to make small talk with someone you used to have a life with.

“Yeah. So good. Sam’s great.” Tom nodded in agreement even though he hadn’t tried any food yet.

“So great.” You echoed. You both hated the faking niceties with each other but you had no idea how else to interact now that you were broken up. Thankfully, Harry walked up to the two of you with a plate of food and relieved some of the tension.

“Hey.” He said to you before realizing Tom was there too. “Oh. Sorry. I didn’t realize you guys were talking. Should I leave?”

“No!” You and Tom said in unison. Harry leaving meant you’d have to scramble to find more things to say so you were desperate to keep him there. Harry gave you both a strange look over how enthusiastically you said no before taking a bite of one of his meatballs.

“It’s fine. What did you need?” You asked him.

“That guy I told you about is here. He wants to meet you.” Harry said and pointed over his shoulder. Tom followed his finger and saw a 6 foot tall blonde guy covered in those little minimalistic tattoos. The very tattoos you once told Tom you loved on other people.

“Oh, great.” You smiled and waved to the guy. Tom looked between you and the guy several times and felt jealousy bubble up inside him.

“Who’s that guy?” He asked through a forced laugh so he didn’t sound as worried as he felt.

“That’s Garrett. He’s one of my photographs buddies.” Harry explained.

“I’ll go say hi.” You told Harry before going over to the guy. Tom watched you hug him hello and clenched his jaw.

“Woah, mate. Whats going on with you? If you stare any harder, that vein in your neck is gonna explode.” Harry said to him.

“Who is that guy?” Tom whispered harshly.

“I told you. He’s a friend from film school. I hooked him up with Y/n.”

“Hooked up?” Tom almost shouted. “What do you mean hooked up?”

“Oh my God. Down boy.” Harry snorted. “I mean I hooked them up to work on a project together. She wants him to shoot something for her.”

“If she needs pictures then why can’t you do it?”

“Because shes like my sister so I don’t want to see her in her underwear.” Harry said like it was obvious. Tom’s stomach dropped and he looked back over at you and Garrett. You were laughing at something he had said and Tom’s jealousy doubled.

“Underwear? What are you talking about?” Tom asked.

“I don’t know. She wants to do some album art in this vintage lingerie she found and he specializes in the style she was going for. I wasn’t really listening when she was explaining because I was too focused on the meatballs.” Harry shrugged and took another bite of his food. Tom snatched Harry plate and put it down on the nearest table.

“Stop eating the meatballs for one second. Are you telling me you asked that guy to take pictures of her in her underwear?” Tom whispered angrily.

“Yes, Tom. I approached my friend and asked him to take photos of my brothers ex girlfriend in her underwear specifically for my own enjoyment.” Harry said sarcastically. Tom gave him an annoyed look so Harry stopped being sarcastic.

“No. She needed a photographer, he needed a job, so I hooked them up. Thats the end of the very simple and very boring story of why Y/n is talking to that guy.”

“Stop saying hooked them up. You’re making it sound like they’re gonna date. Does he even know about me?” Tom asked as he stared daggers over at you and Garrett.

“He’s seen Spies in Disguise.” Harry shrugged.

“Oh my God.” Tom groaned. “I don’t mean my films. Does he know I’m her boyfriend?”

“You mean ex boyfriend?” Harry said out of the corner of his mouth. Tom gave him a look and Harry quickly shoved another meatball into his mouth.

“Fine. Ex. Does he know we used to date?”

“Relax, mate. I’m your brother. I’m not gonna throw your girl into the arms of another man. We’re all rooting for you guys to get back together.”

“Okay, good.” Tom sighed in relief.

“But sometimes, in order to realize who your soulmate is, you have to sleep with a beefy photographer who has tattoos straight off a Pinterest board.”

“WHAT?” Tom shouted this time, causing a few people to look over at them.

“Oh my God. It was a joke.” Harry groaned. “Chill out. How are you still this uptight when there are delicious meatballs around?”

“Enough with the meatballs.” Tom hissed. “You don’t really think she’s gonna sleep with him, do you?”

“Hm. Probably not.” Harry shrugged as he looked over at you and Garrett.

“Good.” Tom sighed.

“But my boy is a dawg so he’s definitely gonna try.” Harry snorted and ate another meatball. Tom looked at him with an unamused expression and Harry stopped chewing.

“Sorry.” He mumbled. “Wrong crowd.”

“It doesn’t matter if he tries. She’d never go for a guy like that. He’s all wrong for her. Right?” Tom asked nervously.

“Mate, don’t do this here. We’re here to support Sam. This is not the time or place to fight for your girls honor.” Harry pointed out. Tom reluctantly nodded in agreement and turned to watch you again. Garrett had his hand on your shoulder now as he told you some story.

“Nope. I can’t watch this. I need to talk to her.” Tom decided and crossed the room to get to you. You and Garrett were laughing at something so Tom started laughing too until you noticed he was there.

“Oh, Garrett, this is Tom.” You said to bring Tom into the conversation.

“Hey, man. I loved you in Spies in Disguise.” Garrett said as he shook his hands. Tom felt slightly annoyed that he couldn’t hate this guy since he was nice.

“Thanks.” Tom said quietly. An awkward silence fell between the three of you and all laughter ceased.

“It’s a great movie. Underrated as hell.” You added after an awkward beat of silence.

“Thank you, darling.” Tom said sincerely. “So what were you guys talking about?”

“We were talking about maybe working together for a shoot.” Garrett answered.

“Right. Harry was telling me about it. I wanted to tell you that you can come over and grab some of your sets if you need them for the shoot. You left a lot at my place.” Tom said to you. You narrowed your eyes at him but couldn’t help but smile. You knew exactly what he was doing and he knew it too. He smiled innocently at you before checking for Garrett’s reaction.

“His place? Why would your stuff be there?” Garett wondered.

“Of course it’s at my place. Where else would she be wearing lingerie?” Tom asked with a simple shrug. You turned your face so he wouldn’t see you laughing at what he said.

“Wait, so, how do you guys know each other?” Garrett asked you.

“Oh, I’m sorry. She must not have mentioned. I know her from being her boyfriend.” Tom said and put an arm around you.

“Ex boyfriend.” You smiled sarcastically and pushed his arm off.

“Semantics.” Tom shrugged.

“Ex?” Garett raised his eyebrows. “Wow. Thats great news. I didn’t think a girl as pretty as you was available.”

“Oh, I’m not.” You laughed awkwardly.

“You’re not?” Garett frowned.

“You’re not?” Tom smiled in surprise.

“I mean, I am, but not for you two. Excuse me.” You smiled at them both and quickly exited the conversation. Tom and Garrett looked at each other with a new sense of competition between them.

“Spies in Disguise wasn’t even that good.” Garett mumbled out of the corner of his mouth.

“Tell that to my Kids Choice Award.” Tom snapped.

“I will.” Garrett said mockingly. They exchanged sharp looks with one another before Tom walked away. He searched the room for you but couldn’t find you for a while. He asked around to see if anyone had seen you but had no luck. He sighed and went outside the restaurant to get some air. Coincidentally, you had the same idea. You were leaning against the wall of the restaurant with a drink in your hand and staring out into the night.

“Hey.” Tom said as he approached you.

“Jesus Christ.” You jumped.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. But I have been looking for you. Do you think we could talk?”

“About what?” You played dumb and took a long sip of your drink. Tom kicked some gravel on the ground and kept his eyes down.

“Us.”

“Is it really a good time? My blood is like 70% red sauce right now.” You groaned and patted your full stomach.

“When else? You don’t return any of my calls.” Tom said without looking in your eyes. You could hear how upset he was over that you felt bad for ignoring him for so long.

“Because we broke up. People who break up aren’t supposed to talk.” You said gently.

“But we weren’t supposed to break up.“ he insisted and looked up at you.

“How can you say that when you’re the one who broke up with me?”

“It was a mistake. I just blurted that out during the fight. I was frustrated from the terrible day I had so I took it out on you. I never meant to say I wanted to break up.”

“But you did.“ You reminded him. “I don’t care how frustrated you were. I never would’ve said that to you.”

“I know.” He sighed. “And believe me, I’ve wished I could take it back from the second it left my lips.”

“Then why’d you say it?” You asked quietly.

“I don’t know.” He answered honestly. “It just fell out of my mouth.”

“Because you don’t have any lips to stop it?” You asked with a coy smile. Tom looked at you in surprise and could tell you felt proud of that one.

“That kinda sounded like you forgiving me.” He smiled cheekily.

“Maybe I’m just trying to get back into a family that can produce meatballs like this.” You shrugged and avoided eye contact. You could feel Tom staring at you so you kept your eyes out on the London skyline.

“Why’d you come tonight?” He asked after a beat of silence.

“I told you. Your mom invited me. And I wanted to support Sam.”

“Support Sam doing what, though?” Tom genuinely wondered. “What is party even for? Sam just told me I had to come. I don’t even know what we’re celebrating.”

“I honestly don’t know either.” You admitted. “Your mom just told me Sam was having a party and making meatballs. I’ve been trying to figure out if it was a birthday or graduation from the decorations but they’re too vague. I’m just avoiding Sam so he doesn’t figure out that I don’t know what this event is for.”

“Maybe it’s just a meatball party.” Tom shrugged.

“Maybe.” You laughed softly and finally looked at him. When you looked into his eyes, you couldn’t bring yourself to be mad at him anymore. Whatever had started the fight was long gone from your memory. You didn’t care anymore. You just wanted to get back to how you used to be.

“I knew you were gonna be here today.” You confessed. “That’s why I showed up.”

“Really?” Tom asked and took a step closer to you.

“Really. I just didn’t want to have this conversation over the phone. That’s why I haven’t been answering your calls.”

“And what conversation might that be?” Tom asked and got even closer.

“The ‘I really miss you even though you’re a massive dingus who doesn’t deserve me’ conversation.” You said with a sheepish smile. Tom smiled in return and moved some hair off your face.

“I am a massive dingus.” He agreed. “And I don’t deserve you.”

“I already established that.”

“But what was that? Did I catch you saying you miss me?” He asked playfully and cupped his ear. You rolled your eyes and stepped into his arms to hug him.

“Of course I do. All the photographers I’ve been sleeping with made me miss what we had.” You said against his chest.

“I’ve missed you too, darling.” He sighed happily. “Wait, what that now?”

“I’m kidding. Kind of. Can we make up now?” You asked and pulled out of the hug just enough to look at him. Instead of replying, he leaned down to kiss you for the first time in weeks. It felt like you were picking right back up where you left off as you wrapped your arms around his neck.

“That was a joke right?” He laughed once you pulled out of the kiss. Your eyes darted to the side as you pulled out of the embrace.

“We should go inside.”You changed the subject. “I just have to get some more of those meatballs.”

Tag list 🏷️

@thebookwormlife @imanativeofswlondondahling

@tom-hollands-wifey

@whatareyouhidingpeter @takenbyheartstrings

@imyourliquor-youremypoison @andreasworlsboring101

@peterparkoure

@justcallmehitgirl @jackiehollanderr

@emmamarshmellow @unbelievableholland

@sovereignparker @every-marveler-ever @undiadeestos @eridanuswave​ ​

@solarxmoonchild @canyouevencauseicant

@quaksonhehe @lovelessdagger

@thesuitelifeofafangirl @marshxx @nooneinvitedfascistbarbie

@maybemona

@alexxcorona113 @lethal-wisdom

@pandaxnienke

 @officialsimppage @peterbenjiparker @itsemohours

@freakofmusic25 @tomholland85

@olixerwxxd @leilanixx

@whereismytelephone @so-very-asleep @white-wolf1940

@spideyspeaches @hihiweezing

@mathletemadison  

@dhtomholland @insomniac-nerd-posts-things @prancerrparkerr

@hallecarey1 @blackwidowisthebest @imawhoreforu

@ciarahollands

@nellabellaa @pinklxmonade @boogywoogywoogy

[aureatchi]

⋆·˚ ༘* A NIGHT @ A JAZZ BAR! ft. dazai, chuuya, & ranpo!

a/n. i've never been to a jazz clb myself (hopefully in the future <('o'<3) !) but i keep seeing videos of them on my tiktok fyp ‘n i could vividly visualize the snug, intimate atmosphere...i was immediately reminded of these bsd men,, imo the vibe fits them v well !!

info. fem!reader. fluff as chambré as the ambiance. mentions of lots of drinking ‘n reader gets tipsy. to have the full experience i recc. listenening to jazz music while reading! \(^_<)\ wc. 6k (total)

DAZAI :

You needed a break. You had been working yourself morning to evening this past week for extra money—you wanted to make sure you still had a decent amount of savings in your bank account after all the shopping you had done with your friends the previous weekend. Thankfully, your final shift had ended earlier today, so you went home, indulged a nice, hot shower, and decided you should treat yourself for getting through the long week.

You had never been to a jazz bar before, but you thought it would be a fun twist in comparison to a regular bar—which is what you needed anyway. You wanted something to wind yourself down, and some drinks along with incredible music would certainly satisfy the interest.

So here you were, sitting on one of the tall, cushioned barstools as a bartender prepared your first drink. The atmosphere in the bar was cushy and cozy, already relaxing your mind.

“I’ll take what the miss ordered over here,” you heard from the handsome man who sat on the stool next to you, brunette hair covering his eyes.

He noticed your gaze and then turned towards you. “I haven’t seen you before; this your first time?” he asked, a friendly smile on his face.

“Yeah,” you replied, a shy smile in return. “My first time at a jazz club in general.”

“Ooh, how exciting!” he responded in delight. “I hope you’ll like it here.”

The bartender handed your identical drinks.

“What’s your name?” the dark-haired asked. You responded with yours, asking for his in return.

“Osamu Dazai,” Dazai replied with a wink. “Nice to meet you, bella.”

You were initially confused because you had just told him your name, and it wasn’t Bella (unless it was, ignore this!)—maybe he misheard? But he gave you no time to correct him when he raised his glass towards you.

“What brings you here?” he asked. “To try this out for the first time?”

“To celebrate still being alive after working my ass off this entire week,” you replied with a half-hearted laugh.

Dazai chuckled with you. “I could say the same for myself,” he replied, a hint of thoughtfulness in his voice. “Well then! Let’s toast…to being alive!” He raised his glass higher, and you did as well, meeting his in the middle.

Clank!

“And to a new friendship! Or possibly even more…” his grin turned smug as your expression contorted in confusion, and you felt your cheeks warm up.

“…Hey Osamu, we just met,” you responded with your own smirk, playing it off after your initial reaction.

“Just a possibility,” he giggled. “Because your response helped me figure out you were single, anyway! If you weren’t, you would’ve been like, ‘Oh Osamu~ I regret to inform you that I have a boyfriend…'”

“How sly.” You shook your head in amusement.

He simply laughed as you both took a drink of your cocktails.

...

You were on your fourth drink now. You and Dazai had conversed a lot throughout the evening—you had learned his occupation was a detective agent of sorts, and on that topic, he babbled on about how one of his coworkers would always complain about him being lazy and obnoxious.

“Kunikida’s always pissed at me,” Dazai giggled. “But he plays right into my entertainment—I get on his nerves on purpose! Actually, I was supposed to be investigating something this evening…wait ‘till he finds out I was at a bar all night gossiping about him with a fanciable lady!”

You laughed in response, cheeks tinted, while your eyes admired how the ambiance of the balmy-toned light in the room complimented his features. His gaze was soft and his eyes rosed in honey. Meanwhile, brown bangs rested gracefully on his face, while a strand of hair was tucked behind his ear. To further add to the dreamy atmosphere that surrounded you two, the smoothness of the melody in the background—especially with the use of piano, could be compared to a romantic candlelit dinner in itself.

“You’ll be fine slacking off, though, right?” you asked. “Your job seems important, so I wouldn’t want you skipping someth-”

“Don’t worry, bella, I’m more capable than you think,” he replied. “Or at least, you can have my word that I won’t get fired.” He gave you a playful smile.

“You’re so cute, though! Caring for my well-being. Awh, and now you’re smiling. Wait—don’t turn away; you don’t need to be shy!”

You also observed this man was a huge tease, quite literally pointing out your reactions to his flatter out loud the entire night. It was all Dazai’s doing though—how could you not fluster whenever he called you adorable? Especially when he looked as pretty as he was—there was no doubt your new friend was very attractive.

Your face was still turned away from him when you noticed other people in the room start to get up from their seats and move towards an area not crowded with tables and chairs, in front of the band playing the music live.

A new song had begun, and people started to dance with each other.

You turned back to Dazai and were greeted with an outstretched hand toward you as he stood up.

“Mind if I do?” he asked. “You need to experience the dancing too.”

You took his hand with a smile, and then he led you across the floor. “I’ll need help, though, Osamu. I'm not familiar with dancing here.”

“Don’t worry bella! I got you.” He dragged you into the center of the crowd and started guiding your movements—the dance was a fashion of stepping back and forth to the rhythm. His hands clasped around both of yours.

“The most important part is footwork,” Dazai whispered. You turned your head to see other couples and their movements, and you did your best to replicate them. You then focused your gaze to admire the band—seeing instruments such as the saxophone, piano, drums, and clarinet being played. You looked back at Dazai, both of you happy you had gotten the hang of the swing.

He suddenly stepped back at the same time you did, stretching both pairs of arms. He pulled you back in, and with it he let go of one hand and spun you around.

“Here’s one move,” he chuckled as he spun you once more, in the opposite direction. "Let's see how long it takes for you to get dizzy!"

...

The rest of the night was lovely. You danced with Dazai until the songs ended, and then you two had a few more drinks until he realized you had drunk too much.

“Are you fine?” Dazai asked, noticing your flushed cheeks and unfocused gaze.

“Hm? Yes,” you replied, though it was evident you were very tipsy.

“I think that’s enough drinks, hm?”

“Aw,” you replied, swishing around an ice sphere in your glass. In this state of intoxication, you had taken to stop looking at Dazai while he looked at you, because whenever you made eye contact with him now, you couldn’t control hiding being smitten by his charm anymore.

You stole a glance at him this time though, seeing through your peripheral that he wasn’t looking.

“Oh!”

Dazai had noticed your little solitaire’s rules and decided to join in your game too. He immediately caught your look and stared back.

Unconsciously, your chairs had gotten closer throughout the night, and at this point they were touching. Your personal bubbles had eloped, and Dazai was now very close to your face.

Your lips slightly parted, your heart racing in anticipation of what would happen next, a stark contrast to the flow of the slow music. Dazai’s breath on your neck, his eyes on yours, and his attention completely focused on you. The tension was unmistakable, especially when his pupils darted to your mouth—it truly seemed like he was going to kiss you right then.

But then, he pulled back, calling the server, leaving you stupefied.

“I’m paying for Miss too,” Dazai said to the bartender, handing him his card before looking back at you. “You should go home before midnight at least,” he looked at his watch. He then noticed your dismayed expression, and simply laughed.

“I want to get to know you to where I’ll know for certain I can do something like that while you’re in this state first. And you’ll be fine with it when you’re sober again—you’ll even let me do it when you’re sober,” he joked whilst giving you a reassuring smile.

He was so considerate. You were glad and thankful that he was a polite man—you would’ve definitely freaked out once you were sober if you let someone you just met at a bar kiss you.

Because you would’ve definitely let him.

“Okay, Mr. Gentleman,” you replied lightheartedly, but you too smiled to show you were seriously grateful for his self-control when he had an advantage.

After paying, he stood you up and put his beige coat that he hadn’t been using around you. You both walked—or you rather stumbled out into the cool evening air, and you immediately sobered up at the breeze.

“Thank you for keeping me company. My first experience was amazing thanks to you,” you said, merry.

“I thank you as well,” Dazai smiled too. “It was a pleasant night.

“Keep the coat for now. It’s an excuse for us to meet again.” He winked, and you chuckled, nodding your head in agreement.

Dazai then signaled for a taxi to come over to take you home.

He outstretched his arms a bit, an invitation to hug.

“May I?”

Your lips curled upwards, and you wrapped your arms around him too as he embraced you warmly. He gently kissed your forehead.

“Have a lovely night, belladona,” Dazai said as you both pulled back, the taxi vehicle stopping close by you. You realized then that he wasn’t calling you by the name, Bella—just the abbreviation for the romantic endearment he had called you by the entire time.

“You too, goodnight Osamu!” you responded.

…

At home, you went through the pockets of Dazai’s coat to see if he had left anything by accident. You found a small piece of folded paper, and opening it, he had left his phone number for you.

“Give me a call, bella!~”

CHUUYA :

“Almost done, doll?” Chuuya asked as you looked at yourself in the full-body mirror, seeing what your outfit looked like from all angles. You were dressed up—classy black corset top with a frilly skirt, under a matching blazer that belonged to your lover. 

“Yeah,” you replied, smiling when you saw the ginger appear behind you through the reflection, who gently lifted your hair and clasped a ruby-jeweled necklace around you. 

“We look s’good,” he said, looking into the mirror as well after putting on your necklace, both of you posing in your attire. You couldn’t have agreed any more. Chuuya was equally dressed as flamboyantly as you—designer branded black suit and tie with a matching fedora to tie it all together. 

“We’re like fashion icons,” you added, earning a smirk from him. It was always like this whenever you two went out—you and Chuuya would always subliminally earn the title of best dressed in the room, no matter the occasion, no matter how casual or formal the event was. 

“You’re right,” he agreed, planting a kiss on your cheek.

“Well, shall w’go now, mon amour?” Chuuya stepped back, holding out his palm for yours to take. 

You giggled at the extra-ness of the ginger-haired. 

“Lead the way, Chuu. Or what was it…oh! Monsieur Chuuya.” You took his hand as he led you out of your elegant hotel suite. 

Chuuya Nakahara had brought you all the way to Paris. He had gotten a week off from his work—this was seldom; he barely got any breaks from the Port Mafia, so he knew he had to do something special with you while he had more time on his hands. And what better to do than take you to the City of Love? 

Tonight’s evening plans included dinner at an elaborate restaurant—very lavish (usually, a table would have to be reserved about a month in advance, but Chuuya used his PM connections and money to buy you two a spot—you didn’t know this of course). 

Your dinner was delectable. You knew you would be dreaming of the delicious flavors of all seven French courses for days after finishing eating. 

Though, you and Chuuya weren’t tired yet, and it was still pretty early in the night, so you two decided to go to one of the underground jazz bars in the city. The warm, sultry air immediately filled your senses as you ran your fingertips through the texture of the auburn brick walls; the atmosphere of the place complimenting you and Chuuya’s aura perfectly. 

Some people even turned to you both as you made your way across the room, admiring how attractive you two looked together—the way your outfits highlighted your best features and coupled each other’s from the head accessories to the shoes you wore. Chuuya guided you from behind with one of his hands on your waist and wore a smug smile on his face as he noticed the glances. 

“Baby, they’re looking at us,” Chuuya whispered close to your ear, chuckling. “I know they all think we’re hot.” 

“Shh, Chuuya!” you responded in embarrassment, playfully swatting him away, but you too observed the other people in the bar gazing at you. 

You two sat at down at a booth, crimson red velvet cushions decorating the wooden sofa. 

“I’ma get drinks, alright?” he asked and you nodded before Chuuya made his way towards the bar. Meanwhile, you sat and watched the band on stage play. 

You and Chuuya were no strangers to jazz bars. It was an activity that became a statement in your relationship—back in Yokohama, whenever any of you needed destressing or just wanted to go out an evening without any plan, he would take you to one. So it was nice you could finally visit one in Paris, too. This one in particular was less known than others—usually, only a local would be able to find this jewel of a place. All knowledge credited to the expert Chuuya!

You also thought he enamored the vibe so perfectly. The setting of the place radiated of the top mafia executive so well—alluring nature; soulful, captivating music; the sophisticated selection of home-specialty cocktails on the menu—or even better, just the wine. 

Which is of course what Chuuya came back with, in red.

“Now what is this?” you asked, amused. You knew the ginger’s upscale taste in wine—after all, you’ve walked through his entire cellar worth multiple banks at home. You were awestruck, to say the least. 

Chuuya set the bottle down on the table. 

“This is a Pinot Noir. Domaine Georges and Christophe Roumier Musigny Grand Cru 1990,” he pronounced while you stared at what you bet on the Eiffel Tower cost thousands in front of you. “I love this place. Didn’t think they’d have such a good bouquet here.”

“Chuuya! That’s such a long name?!” you responded, jaw-dropped. “Why the hell are these titles so long?”

He simply smirked. “Well, I think this is perfect for the occasion, doll. Do ya know why?”

“Hm…because we’re in France?” you guessed, knowing how most of Chuuya’s favorite wines were imported from the country. Since coming here, he’s tried a lot. 

“Not wrong, but there’s something else,” he continued. 

“You remember Musigny, right?” You nodded, recalling the previous three times Chuuya mentioned a wine from the Le Musigny vineyards while educating you about what he was drinking. 

“The story b’hind this wine involves a Musigny girl who marries a lad in 1924. As a dowry, he receives parts of the Chambolle Musigny vineyards. Then, Domaine Georges and Christophe Roumier were born, and this wine was produced. Kinda romantic, huh?” 

“Awh! Yes, it is,” you replied, smiling. You found it adorable that Chuuya had chosen a wine with some sort of lovey story behind it for this event. 

He smiled back and then opened the bottle, pouring you about a third of the glass of burgundy liquid. 

“Here, nana.”

He sat down beside you after pouring his own glass. You took yours and clanked his glass, seeing a smug smile on his face. 

You sniffed the wine first, a sous-bois—earthy aroma filling your senses, redberries and spices akin. Then you tasted it, intense, grapey flavor on your tongue. 

“Miam!”

…

You and Chuuya had finished the bottle and moved on to other cocktails. And though Chuuya did like liquor on special occasions, he also could not hold it very well. Tipsy yourself, you didn’t realize he too was intoxicated until he randomly jerked you up from the seat. 

“Let’s dance pretty girl,” he said, dragging you across the floor. 

“Wait, hang on Chuu!” you stumbled, trying to find your balance. 

You made it to the middle of the floor where many other people were and joined in with the vitalizing, fast-paced song. You and Chuuya swung around, dancing to your heart’s content. Though your mind was hazy, you made an effort to step in the right places, so you wouldn’t topple Chuuya and both go down. 

Except, it seemed that he was too drunk to focus as well. He had accidentally lingered his foot on the floor too long, causing you to slip when you accidentally moved yours to the same spot. You gasped and fell backward.

An arm swiftly wrapped around your back, though, saving you from hitting the ground. 

“Sorry baby!” Chuuya had snapped out of his fuzziness the moment you tripped, acting fast to stop your fall. Your eyes widened as you looked into his concerned face above.

You realized a few moments later that everyone in the crowd had parted, leaving you and Chuuya in the middle, still in the same position. Unintentionally, he had disguised your slip-up as a dip in dance, and everyone there was impressed! They started clapping as you both remained there, confused looks on your faces. 

But then, Chuuya smiled and pulled you back up into a kiss. He started chuckling as his lips lingered on yours, finding the entire ordeal funny that it had worked out so pleasantly. You smiled too, wrapping your hands around his neck while you heard shouts of “Ouah!” and “Comme c’est romantique!” from spectators. 

Chuuya wasn’t done yet, though. Even the band had stopped playing music to acknowledge this interlude, so Chuuya jumped up on stage headlong without hesitation and took the microphone. 

“This princess right here deserves everything,” Chuuya spoke, eyeing you with a grin, causing you to heat up in embarrassment. “I brought her to Paris ‘cause why shouldn’t someone as lovely as her experience the city of romance? I say I’m one damn lucky man to have her.” 

There was another applaud while you melted in your lover’s broad proclamation of endearment towards you. You almost couldn’t believe it—surely you were just drunk and imagining things; there was no way Chuuya had gotten on stage with the band and started speaking. But the reality of it proved when he jumped back off, and embraced you again. 

“Love you,” he whispered in your ear. 

“Or, the French say ‘Je t’aime.’”

“I love you too,” you giggled back, enjoying the warmth of his hug. 

… 

You were both exhausted by the end of the night, yet Chuuya still carried you bridal-style back to the hotel room. You scrambled to get ready for bed, showering and changing into your pajamas, and in no time, you were both tucked in under the covers. 

“That was fun,” you sleepily said as you wrapped an arm across him. 

“I’m glad it was,” he replied. “You deserve to enjoy every day.”

“I do enjoy everyday because I’m with you, Chuuya. What you said earlier…

“I’m one lucky girl to have you.”

RANPO :

“Ranpo-ohh, c’mon!” you exclaimed as you practically dragged your lover out of the kitchen. 

“Why do we gotta go!?” he whined back, trying to grab another cookie out of the glass jar on the counter. 

“It’s—literally a mission from the President?” you used all your force and pulled Ranpo away before he could latch his hands on the sweets. 

“Why does he gotta send us?” he continued to complain, but fortunately, no longer trying to escape from you. “He always gives me such boring missions…I should be getting much more important cases as the world’s best detective!” 

He ended his exclamation with a hmph! and crossed his arms. You sighed as you looked at his stubborn state, but couldn’t help but smile when you realized he looked kind of…adorable like this.

“Ranpo, your missions are probably so trivial because you’re just that smart! You can figure out the answers and solutions to people’s questions and problems right away, so of course, everything that isn’t some huge, world-threatening issue would be mundane to you!” 

“Yeah, ‘cause humans are stupid,” he responded, but it was evident in his eyes he appreciated your words. You’ve grown to learn this over time—Ranpo absolutely loved praise, tripling in significance when it came from you, but he was too prideful to admit it. You’ve seldom seen him thank other people when they complimented him, but he always made sure you saw it, even if it was in an indirect way…She’s brilliant anyway. She’ll know I cherish it. 

“But! Seriously? A jazz concert? Why couldn’t the President send someone more suitable for that setting? I have no interest in somewhere like that!” 

“Why not?” you asked. “It seems fun! There will be music and dancing and stuff.” 

“I’d rather stay here! There won’t be snacks—probably just drinks! And I don’t like drinking; nothing is sweet enough for me!” He pouted once again.

“Well, the point of the mission won’t be to entertain ourselves anyway. We’re going to find a suspected murderer and possibly stop another murder caused by this one from happening. Therefore, drinking isn’t even important—it should be out of the question. For tonight, anyway.” 

“Fine. Let’s go!” 

“Wait—just a minute! We need to be dressed for the occasion! So we blend in?” 

You found it ironic that the world’s best detective could easily solve any case with a snap of a finger, yet he couldn’t even use the train. His ignorance of things was quite amusing; something such as an event’s dress code had slipped his mind.

“Why, what’s wrong with my outfit?” Ranpo asked. 

“Or do you just want a reason to dress me up?” You could see a slight smirk forming on his lips. 

“Well, I wasn’t lying with what I just said, but yes, picking out an outfit for you would be quite fun…” 

…

You and Ranpo were dressed and ready to go to the event. You had styled him in a cocoa-brown button-up paired with some slacks and yourself in your favorite little black dress. 

“Earth tones fit you the best,” you commented as you admired him in the outfit you put him in. “They compliment your eyes really well.” 

“Really?” he asked as he strode over to a mirror and shoved his face directly in front of it. He opened his viridian eyes, wide, and tried to examine why you thought that by holding up a piece of the fabric to his face.

You giggled as he felt you wrap your hands around his waist, hugging him from behind. 

…

“The murderer is going to be in this large crowd,” you repeated facts that the both of you already knew. “They’ll be unsuspecting—they’ll blend in with everyone else like us.”

You walked through a slim door but were greeted by a vast, lively room of vibes and music. The concert hadn’t started yet, but there was already a sea of people inside conversing with each other and ordering drinks. 

“The murderer may not have bought a ticket,” you said just loud enough for Ranpo to hear after you showed your entry tickets. You scanned the guest list and saw that everyone currently in the room did buy one, casting aside the staff, so you ruled out that everyone there right now could be a suspect. “So that their name wouldn’t be documented here. We should keep watch to see who tries to sneak in.” 

Ranpo nodded. “There are definitely other entrance doors in here, though. There’s probably an emergency exit in another corner of the room, and there is the backstage door.” 

“So they can sneak in through here, bribe the doorman, or sneak in through the other door,” you clarified. “And if not…they would hide among the band performers and enter with them.” 

“Or! They could be one of the band players.” 

“Hm, really?” you asked. “I looked into this band when we first got assigned the mission. It doesn’t seem like any of the members have any dirt or sketchy controversy surrounding them.” 

“Just a possibility! But yeah, any of those three ways would be how the murderer will get in.”  

You nodded in agreement. “I’ll go around to find the other entrance then. We’ll text each other if we see anything; otherwise, we’ll meet back when the concert starts. 

“Okie dokie!” 

… 

Thirty minutes had passed. You had found the back entrance and idled by it to see if anyone would enter, but noone came. You waited for a text from Ranpo, but it didn’t seem like anything suspicious happened on his end either. 

You heard a smooth voice through a microphone that sounded the entire room as the lights dimmed. 

“Welcome. The concert will begin on stage shortly.” 

Taking one last look at the door, you left and made your way to the stage where many other people started to gather. You sifted through the congregation, trying to find the pretty brunette among them. 

“Boo!” 

“Hu-uh?!” You slightly jolted, immediately turning around. You were undoubtedly greeted with a brunette. But instead of Ranpo, you were met with… 

“Dazai?!” 

“Hey-y!”

“What are you doing here? And why are you dressed as a bartender?” 

“Oh!” he replied, taking your hand. “Well, Ranpo was trying to find you, so come with me first.” He led you through the group until you were at the bar area. 

“There you are!�� Ranpo shouted, seeing you appear with Dazai. 

Dazai brought you to Ranpo and then went behind the counter. 

“Well, to answer your question, long story short, I got punished. For ‘being lazy’. Kunikida caught me trying to catch a nap on the couch and went and complained to the President. He came in, saw me still there, and decided to punish me by leaving Kunikida to punish me.” You lifted an eyebrow in amusement. 

“So, Kunikida said I’d have to work here for the night. To prove I’m worthwhile doing a job.

“But anyways, drinks?” He glanced at you and Ranpo. 

“No thank you,” you replied. “We’re on a mission right now. There’s a murderer we have to catch tonight.” 

“Oh yes, Ranpo already told me,” he replied, looking at Ranpo. 

“Dazai helped us a little,” Ranpo said. 

He explained that when Ranpo discovered he was here too, he helped by counting everyone in the room after one of the band members announced the concert was about to start. Then, all left was to ask the doorman a question that would tell them how many tickets were sold. If more people were in the room than tickets sold, they would’ve already entered. 

“And since you and I didn’t see them trying to enter through the two doors, that must mean that the murderer came in the third way,” you contemplated. “They would sneak in with the band.” 

“Or again! Be part of the band!” Ranpo exclaimed. 

You sighed while Dazai chuckled in amusement. 

“You don’t believe so?” Dazai asked. 

“I just don’t see how. I mean, there’s no way all the members would have such clean slates if one of them turned out to be the killer.” 

“Or you’re just biased,” Ranpo sparred. “I know you’re really fond of jazz. That’s why you were so excited to go on this mission. You probably don’t want to think one of the jazz musicians could turn out to be a criminal.” 

You frowned. “Ranpo, that’s not the only reason-” 

“Whatever! We need to see how many people bought tickets for here.” He cut you off.

“Alright, I’ll go,” you replied and walked over to the security man at the door you came in from. 

“Hi, I run a blog and I was interested in making an article about my experience here, would you mind if you could answer a question about something?” 

“Of course, I don’t mind,” he replied. 

“I was wondering how many people are here tonight,” you said. “This place seems popular. I was curious to see if the atmosphere makes it seem like there are more people than there are, haha.” 

“If everyone shows up, then there should be one hundred and seven people here,” he replied. 

“Cool, thank you!” 

You walked back over to Ranpo. 

“He said one-hundred-seven,” you told him. 

He and Dazai looked at each other. 

“I counted one-hundred-eight people here,” Dazai said. “Ranpo double-checked, by the way.” 

“Oh,” you said. “So, they did show up with the band.” 

“Let’s go check backstage,” Ranpo said.

…

You two snuck behind the stage with ease, no one paying attention to your trespassing when the band was already playing the third song. Dazai stayed behind; he had been greeted by a pretty woman who wanted a drink and seemed eager to serve her. 

“I don’t see anything odd here,” you said, scanning the room. Luckily it was empty, so you didn’t have to knock out anyone there. 

“Here’s the entrance,” Ranpo pointed to the door. 

“Yeah, so can’t you use ultra-deduction to figure it out now?” you asked, out of leads. There was an extra person in the concert, and they entered through the backstage, but you didn’t know anything else.  

“I told you! They are part of the band! Look, there’s a fingerprint scanner for security,” Ranpo said, pointing to a screen. “If you open the door, the scanner is on the outside. That means only they can enter.” 

“We can’t assume!” you argued back, running to a computer. “I don’t believe it! There’s no way one of them could be the murderer…I—I’ve been a fan of this band for years…” You turned on the computer to see the live recording of the security cameras in the room, one of the screens peering at your back. 

“Are you saying you’re doubting my ability!?” Ranpo clamored childishly.

You ignored him, rewinding the footage to earlier that evening when the jazz members arrived. And to your disappointment, no one else entered throughout the whole timeline until you and Ranpo. 

Is the murderer…really among them? 

“The final song will now begin.” The instruments had lowered in volume, and the same voice spoke in the microphone again, announcing the concert was almost over. 

“Found any other suspect, sweetheart?” Ranpo mocked immaturely. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.” 

“What are you going to do? Jump up on stage and tell everyone one of them is a murderer?” 

“Mhm,” he replied, looking up at their backs. “They’ll all be interrogated, the murders will match up with one of them, and-” 

“There just has to be another explanation! I know we found one thing, but we should at least have more proof than just who entered this room to convict someone! I just think you usually have more reason for your conclusions, Ranpo!” 

He stared at you. It was obvious you and Ranpo were frustrated at each other, but you both fought to not cause a scene or verbally displease one another. 

“…I actually can’t figure it out. I tried but…it’s not giving me an answer. I don’t know why. It’s like, in reality, there’s no murderer here at all!” 

He looked disdained, and you immediately felt concerned. But before you could respond, Dazai walked in the room.

“What are you guys doing?” He pulled you with one arm and Ranpo on his other. “There hasn’t been a murder yet, so shouldn’t you be keeping an eye out for it in the crowd?” You three entered the show again, and you eyed the musicians on stage. 

Which one looks most like a murderer. And how will they murder? Will they bring someone on stage and do it there? Or after the concert ends? Or will they abduct the victim and then kill them?

And then the last song ended. The band thanked everyone for coming, and the audience started to either file out or go to the bar for some final drinks. 

It’s going to happen sometime now! 

You immediately tracked down the musicians, keeping them in your sight, even following them as they went backstage. You hid behind the doorframe so they wouldn’t see you watching them. 

But it seems that one of the members noticed. 

“Hey!” he spoke out, the one who played the saxophone. 

Shoot! Now I’m going to be their victim! 

He walked up towards you, and now you couldn’t escape. 

You didn’t even bother to tell Ranpo what you were doing before you ran off. 

“Hm, are you looking for a signature?” he asked, a friendly smile on his face. Fake friendly, possibly. Inviting and warm. So that you’d fall into his trap. It has to be him. 

“Y-yes!” you replied, trying to conceal your fear. “I’ve been a fan of your group’s music for a few years. I am glad I was able to hear it tonight.” 

“Wow, thank you!” he replied, humbly. “That really means a lot. Here, you can come in and I’ll sign wherever you want.” 

And this is where it happens, huh. You debated stepping inside when suddenly, Ranpo appeared in front of you. 

“Back away from my girlfriend!” 

Hu-uh? 

The musician immediately stepped back, seeing the livid face of your lover as he outstretched an arm in front of you for protection. 

“You’re not murdering [Y/N] next! I won’t let you touch her-” 

“Woah-woah!” A new face popped up in the room as the entire jazz band group looked terrified—“Dazai?”

Dazai ran in between Ranpo and the saxophone player, pulling Ranpo and you back. 

“I sincerely apologize for this matter,” Dazai groveled frantically, almost dramatic. “It seems our friend here has gotten very drunk and is acting impulsively! I’m responsible for both of them, so I’ll be taking them now…” 

…

Dazai dragged you and Ranpo out by the collars to the bar counter. 

“Now what was that about?!” you both asked simultaneously, dumbfounded that Dazai had stopped your confrontation with the murderer and even made up a whole excuse for the suspicion. 

“The fact is there is no murderer here,” Dazai calmly said. “The entire case was a setup.” 

“WHAT?!” 

“The President just wanted you two to relax a little because of how diligently you worked; you solved about two cases a day this week, after all. He thought maybe you’d catch on quickly how this was just a scheme, but-” 

“That’s why I couldn’t figure it out! Because you planned this, Dazai!” Ranpo was pouting with his eyes sealed shut and arms crossed, but you could tell he was also a bit relieved that it was only a silly prank by Dazai instead of it being a case he couldn’t find the true answer to. 

Dazai was one of Ranpo’s countable competitors, after all. His intelligence was almost if not as equal to your lover’s. 

“But the extra person in the room?” you asked. “That was still true unless you also hired the doorman to lie about the number.”

“Oh! Well—oddly, the security hasn’t noticed me yet. I’m not even a worker here. I snuck in!”

“So you’re telling me YOU were the extra person at this concert?!” you and Ranpo screamed. 

“Shh! So loud, you two! So now that this case is solved…drinks?” 

…

“I’m sorry for getting frustrated over you,” you apologized to Ranpo as you two sat on the bar stools. “You weren’t wrong; I was being biased whether this was a true mission or not. I really like this jazz band.” 

“Duh, I know,” Ranpo replied, having one of the sweeter cocktails. Of course he did—you had a massive poster of them on your wall.

“…We can come to their concert the next time they perform. Dazai was mean for watching us get worked up over nothing. The music was pretty cool anyway.” 

He gave you a wide grin. You smiled back, shoving a cookie in his mouth. 

“Saved it. Because I knew the best detective in the world would prevail in the end.” 

“Usually you say ‘solve the case in the end’.” 

“Okay well, technically, this wasn’t a case at all—y’know what, forget it.” 

“I’m just kidding. Thanks. For the cookie.” 

You smiled once more. You knew Ranpo meant more than just the sweets by how his cheeks blushed a soft pink. 

reblogs are cherished. <3

reverie is back and in her bsd era i fear...daz’s hair tucked behind his ear>>. ugh he was so polite here. chuuya ‘n his expensive tastes ‘n his expensive dates mwah! lit researched wine lists ‘n wine etiquette for this. v much got carried away on ranpo...it’s okay he’s the cutest and intelligence bows before him! thoo, he’s so so stubborn.

© AUREATCHI 2023 — no reposts or translations. do not steal.

[hiraethwrote]

VENT SESSION LETS GOOOO — you’re allowed to scroll if you don’t care mwah

i spend an ungodly amount of hours on this app, and i look at you as my friends so just want to let you guys know

i am also a very nosy person myself, so seems only fair i share my own situation. but if you don’t care about all this, you can just keep scrolling. i honestly don’t mind lol

anyways… a few weeks ago, i told you guys i was going through something that was kinda heavy — yeah my bf and i were going through some stuff and started seeing someone professionally… we broke up

there was an understanding that this might be outcome when we first opened up this can of worms, and there turned out to be a lot of underlying issues that both of us had refused to acknowledge

it was definitely a mutual decision. though it’s a hard pill to swallow, we came to the conclusion it was the best for the both of us

we want such vastly different things in life, things neither of us should compromise on. to me, life came at me a lot faster than i anticipated and felt like there were things left unexplored — and neither of us want to hold the other person back from what we want

however, this is a person i have been with for six years, a quarter of my life. there’s obviously a lot of shared history which is hard to let go of. it’s also so incredibly painful when we’re not splitting due to lack of affection and love for the other person, but because our desires and wants in life just don’t align

he is still my best friend, and because of how our life situation is, we will continue living together as we have been doing for the past three years (he only lives here half the time due to work), until i move across the country when summer comes. we’re also going to celebrate christmas together because it just feels right lol

i would say i am doing as well as i can… we are obviously on good terms, but this is probably one of the hardest things i’ll go through. it is the biggest heartbreak of my life. but that is really just a sign that the time we’ve shared together haven’t been a waste. we can be proud of the fact that we’ve been honest, faithful, respectful and kind throughout the entirety of our relationship, to the point where this is so hard even though it’s the right decision

obviously, i am very scared of the path that lies ahead. he has been by my side for the better half of a decade, and i have the privilege of exploring things on my own. it’s obviously what i have been missing in my life, so i am excited for what’s to come, but terrified of living a life he’s not going to be such a big part of anymore

but things are going to be fine. idk how long it will take, i am suspecting very long, but i know in my bones this is for the best for us both. so with time, i will be happy

and not to worry, i have a fantastic support system. i have incredible friends who are there for me. i am lucky to have a family who is not guilting me about leaving a long term relationship, despite also being sad. and i’ve learned i have a great community on here who has showed so much kindness, and i am so grateful <3

that being said — i am not planning on taking a break from tumblr lol. if anything, i am starting to get out of my writers block. this past week i have written more than i have the last month so that’s good! i think i might try and be a little more productive than i have been the past few weeks (at least i hope so, work is picking up again hehe)

not putting this out here for sympathy or anything, but just a little update. i am interested in the lives of those i follow, so maybe some of you are interested in mine

wishing everyone a nice weekend 🫶🏻 i got work in the morning (day after the breakup that’s fun)

[oizysian]

X. PUMPKIN

All Eyes on Me masterlist

Word count: 2.1k

AN: I’m so sorry I haven’t updated this on here lately. I’m gonna catch up with everything soon!

•

"I can't believe I just spent a whole day with Lizzie and Robbie."

"Robbie? That's her husband isn't it?" Claire questioned.

"Mhm."

"How were you able to keep your cool around Lizzie with Robbie there?"

"I just kinda ... zoned out a lot. He's really nice and he made an effort to get to know me, but I can't help but feel guilty when I'm around him."

"Why?"

"Because I'm in love with his wife!" I threw my hands up in frustration, my headset almost falling off my head with the sudden action.

"Y/N, listen," I held my breath as I waited for her to continue speaking. "Don't feel guilty. You can't help it if she likes you."

"Which she doesn't. Not like that."

"Says you. What did Brie say?"

I groaned, the memory of our kisses hitting me like a ton of bricks.

"She thinks she likes me." I mumbled. "But, she likes me too."

"She? She as in Brie?"

"Uh huh. We ... kinda ... kissed."

"You what?!"

"We were drunk and high and she was busting my balls about liking Lizzie so I kissed her to prove I wasn't in love with her."

"And did that work?"

"No."

She sighed and I began to feel even more guilty. Between Robbie and Brie, I was never gonna get any sleep at night.

"What a surprise." Sarcasm dripped from her words. "Why can't you just be honest with yourself - and your friends."

"I'm not being honest with Lizzie. She can't know I have feelings for her. It would make things weird."

"Don't you think she's smart enough to figure it out eventually?"

"I mean, yeah, probably, but by then I'm hoping I'll be over it."

"Doubtful, but good luck with that."

"Thanks so much. You're no damn help."

"Yes I am. You just don't like my advice."

"Okay. What's your advice?"

"Keep hanging out with Lizzie and try to see if she's interested - married or not." She stopped me before I could interject. "If she is, see where it goes. If not, then at least she's your friend."

"I was just gonna skip the first part and just stay friends with her."

"Go ahead and do that, then. But, you're gonna suffer not knowing if there could've been anything between you if you don't test the waters."

I was quiet for a moment, taking in her words and thinking hard about them. She was right, of course she was. But, the risk of losing Lizzie as a friend just to see if we could be more than that, which was nearly an impossibility anyway, outweighed any feelings I had for her. I didn't want to lose her in any capacity. I just had to stop liking her like that.

"I'll think about it. I just ... I really like her. As a friend, even. I don't want to lose her 'cos of some schoolgirl crush."

"You're definitely not crushing. The way you talk about her." She let out a dry chuckle. "You're absolutely in love."

"She doesn't even know me. She'd think I was insane if I told her I had feelings for her. We've only hung out three times."

"Once for like three days though."

"Two days."

"Okay, two days. So, that's a weekend. Plus all the constant texting."

I sighed, rubbing my eyes tiredly. This was the worst situation I had ever been in and it was all my own fault.

"Look," I started. "I know you mean well, but I'm just gonna stay friendly with her. If something happens, that's great! But, I won't be making the first move. Or any moves."

"Whatever you feel you should do, I'll support your decision."

"Thanks, bestie. I really appreciate you listening to all my griping."

"That's what I'm here for. Now get your head in the game. I'm tired of reviving you."

"Sorry." I laughed. "I just have a lot on my mind lately."

"I know."

She was interrupted by my phone going off, indicating that I got a text.

"Is it Lizzie?" She asked excitedly and I shrugged to myself.

"Not sure. I'm playing the game, not looking at my phone. Like you told me to."

"Oh my god, just look at your phone. I'm dying from the suspense."

I hid myself in a bush while I checked my phone. It was Lizzie.

"Well?" Claire asked with excitement in her voice.

"Lizzie wants to hang out before she heads back to LA for some business."

"And? Are you gonna see her?"

"Of course I am." I stared at the message for another moment before I felt my controller vibrate, signaling I was being shot at. "Shit."

I put my phone down and got myself back into the game. The intensity of the game provided silence, which gave me ample time to think.

"You didn't see how she looked at him, though." I said quietly. "She looked at him with stars in her eyes."

"And what about you? How do you look at her?"

I was silent. I knew how I looked at her, it had been pointed out to me few times already. But, what did that matter? She only had eyes for him.

"I look at her like she's the only beautiful thing in the world."

"Exactly, you mush."

"But, she doesn't look at me like that."

"Maybe she does and you haven't noticed."

"Maybe." I whispered to myself, my eyes flickering to my phone as it went off again.

I'm outside.

"Shit, I gotta go, Claire."

"But, there's only two teams left! We gotta finish this game!"

I hesitated for a moment before relenting.

"Damn, okay, let's kill them quickly, then."

We continued to play, my mind on the blonde outside my apartment rather than the game I was in. She was waiting for me and I was playing some stupid game.

I rushed into the battlefield, shooting indiscriminately to try and end the game quickly. I killed absolutely no one and got myself downed, which left Claire alone to win the game.

I picked up my phone and started texting Lizzie, telling her I was being held up and I'd be out in a moment.

Claire was able to clutch the game and we won, but I still was in another world.

"Go get your girl. You're not here with me anyway." She laughed and I sighed apologetically.

"Sorry, I'm going. I'll talk to you later."

I shut my game and tossed my headphones on the bed before rushing to the door, slipping my shoes on and practically running out to meet her. Brie was right, I was down bad.

As I approached her car, she smiled and I couldn't help but smile back. Her smile was damn infectious and I was happy to catch it.

I opened the passenger door and got in, closing it swiftly and buckling up.

"So what was so important that you kept me waiting fifteen minutes?" She asked playfully, a mock angry look on her face.

I laughed and raised my hands in surrender.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I was in a game when you messaged me. I had to finish what I started."

"Mhm." She grumbled, a small smile still lingering on her face as she started to drive.

I leaned back in the seat as we fell into a comfortable silence, the soft music coming from the radio all but ignored as we took in each other's presence. 

"Where are we going?" I asked after a few moments, my curiosity getting the better of me.

"I was wondering when you were gonna ask." She giggled, her eyes shifting from the road to me and then back again. "We're going someplace yummy."

"McDonald's?" I asked excitedly.

"Yummier." She laughed, shaking her head.

"What could be yummier than McDonald's?"

"Absolutely anything. Wendy's for example."

"Oof. She's got superior burgers, but McDonald's fries all the way."

"Fair enough. But no, we're not getting fast food."

"Bummer."

"Hush." She said as she lightly smacked my thigh with her right hand. "You'll love it."

"Oh," I whimpered pathetically, holding my leg. "The pain."

"Aw, poor baby." She teased. "Here," she kissed her hand and placed it on my leg, and my heart fluttered. "All better."

"All better." I repeated, dazed from her actions, and currently riding a high from her touch.

She left her hand there for a moment longer than she probably should have before giving me a pat and returning her hand to the steering wheel.

"Do I get a hint?"

"You already got a hint!" She laughed.

"Yummier than McDonald's is not a hint."

"Well, that's all you're getting."

I huffed playfully and sunk into the seat, noting how damn comfortable it was.

"I could fall asleep in this seat." I told her, closing my eyes briefly before opening them again and looking at her.

She had been staring at me as we were stopped at a red light. A faint blush crossed her cheeks and she had a small smile on her lips. How long was she looking at me?

"It's green." I whispered and she snapped out of her stupor, returning her focus and attention to the road.

I smiled to myself, thinking that maybe, just maybe, she could be looking at me the way she looked at Robbie. Maybe I could be someone special to her.

We drove for a while longer before she pulled up in front of a small ice cream shop somewhere in the city.

"Ice cream!" I cheered as I unbuckled my seatbelt and got out of the car. I looked at the signs on the windows, my face dropping when I saw the seasonal flavors. "Oh no, pumpkin."

"Oh yes, pumpkin." She smirked as she stood next to me. "You're gonna love it."

"Can I get a different flavor and taste yours?"

She thought for a second before nodding, playfully nudging me.

"Of course, silly. What flavor would you like?" She asked as we entered.

"Chocolate." I hummed softly. "Chocolate sounds so good right now."

"Pumpkin sounds even better."

"Absolutely not." I laughed.

We walked up to the counter and she ordered for us, which I was grateful for, and as I was about to pull out my wallet, she beat me to it and paid with her card.

"My treat."

"Lizzie." I whined and she smiled at me. "You can't keep spoiling me like this."

"Says you."

We got our cones and sat down in a booth hidden away in a corner. She sat facing away from the door and I sat across from her.

"This is so good." I spoke as I ate, chocolate undoubtedly getting all over the place.

"I see that." She laughed softly, offering me her cone. "Just try it. One lick."

I looked from her to the cone, wincing as I remembered I promised to try it.

"Stick out your tongue ..." she said as she raised it up to my lips.

Without a second thought, I did what I was told, taking a generous amount of ice cream onto my tongue.

"Good girl."

I would've choked if I hadn't already swallowed the mildly repulsive treat. She smiled widely as my face went from disgust to indifference, taking that as a win.

"I've tasted worse things."

"I told you."

"No. You told me it was good. I didn't say it was good."

"Oh, c'mon." She laughed and I laughed with her.

"It's okay. Chocolate is definitely better."

"Lemme taste yours."

I took another lick of my ice cream to get the pumpkin off my tongue before holding the cone out to her, watching as she kept eye contact with me as she licked delicately at my ice cream.

Jesus shit fuck -

"Y/N? Earth to Y/N?" I snapped out of my daze and returned my attention to her, an amused smile on her face. "You okay?"

"I'm great." I smiled back, realizing that if she wanted to play that game, even just in a friendly way, we could play that game.

I reached across the table and ran my thumb along her lower lip, wiping the remains of my ice cream off of her mouth.

She sat, dazed, mouth slightly agape as I wiped off my finger with a napkin, holding back every urge in my body to stick it in my mouth and suck it clean.

When she snapped out of her daze, she picked up a napkin, leaned across the table, and started wiping my entire face.

"Hey!" I cried, laughing at her actions. "I'm not that dirty!"

"That's what you think." She giggled, finally bringing the napkin to my mouth and wiping it clean. "There. Now you're all clean."

"Thank you, mom." I started eating my ice cream again, careful to keep myself spotless.

She hummed as she ate her ice cream, and we sat in, yet another, comfortable silence, just enjoying each other's company. Maybe Claire was right. Maybe there could be something between us. Or this was just harmless, friendly flirting. There was only one way to find out, whether I liked it or not.

•

@oh-thats-cute @marvelwomen-simp @dorabledewdroop @scarlie-johalsen-blog @annie-ahmelia

[valentoru]

|| Limitless ||

[CHAPTER 4]

SYNOPSIS: Gojo Satoru, a big time artist, who’s known for leaving a trail of broken hearts in his wake wherever he goes. And you, the lead guitarist of an upcoming band, who’s absolutely certain that no one will ever love you. Through an accident in which you happened to kiss Gojo in a frantic state, you both decide, via convenience alone—and zero regard for both of your managers—to pull a fake dating stunt what could go wrong? Any press is good press…right?

PREVIOUS : MASTERLIST : NEXT

You twisted your neck and looked up. And up. You were not exactly short he was just massive.

“Oh. Uhm. Hey.”

“Is everything okay?” He said it looking into your eyes. He said it in a low, intimate tone. Like you were alone. Like Maki wasn’t stood mere cementers away. He said it in a way that should have made you uncomfortable, but it didn’t. For some unexplainable reason, his presence in the room soothed you. Like two seconds ago you hadn’t been freaking out. Maybe two types of unease neutralised each other? It sounded like a fascinating research topic. Maybe someone should look into that. Maybe you should excuse yourself and run a google search about it. Honestly, anything but this whole situation would be much nicer. Maybe you’d expire on the spot, that’s how you’d get out.

“Yes. Yes, everything is great. Maki and I were just…chatting. About our weekends and stuff.”

Gojo looked at Maki, as though he was realising she was in the room for the first time. He acknowledged her by giving her one of those nods guys give each other in passing. His hand slid lower on your spine just as Maki’s eyes widened.

“Nice to meet you, Maki, I’ve heard a lot about you.” Gojo said, and he was good at this, you had to admit. You were sure that at Maki’s angle it looked like he was groping you, but in fact he was…not. You could barely even feel his hand on you.

Maybe just a little. The warmth and slight pressure and—

“Nice to meet you too.” Maki looked thunderstruck. Like she might pass out. “Well-um. I was just about to leave. N/N I’ll text you later when um yeah—”

And with that she was gone, before you could even say anything. Which was good, honestly. You didn’t have to come up with any more lies. But also this was slightly less good as it was now just you and Gojo. Standing way too close. You would have payed good money to say that you were the first to step away, however that was not the case. The embarrassing truth was that Gojo was the first to put distance between you. Stepping back to give you the space you needed, then some more.

“Is everything okay?” He asked again, his tone was still fairly soft. Not something you expected.

“Yes. Yes, I just—” you waved your hands around. “Thank you.”

“Did you hear what she said about Friday?”

“I did that’s why I…” He looked at his hand—the one that had been on your lower back mere second ago—and you almost immediately understood.

“Thank you.” You repeated. Because Satoru Gojo might be a known-ass, but you were feeling pretty damn grateful for him. “Oh, also I couldn’t help but notice I’ve not had any agents or cops come to my place and arrest me on the spot.”

His eyebrows furrowed and the corner of his mouth twitch, minimally. “Is that so?”

You nodded, “Which makes me think that you haven’t filed a complaint. Even though it would have been totally within your rights, so, thank you. And for stepping in just now—you saved me a lot of trouble.”

He stared at you for a long moment, suddenly looking like he did when people got facts mixed up or said something he personally didn’t agree with. “You shouldn’t need someone to step in.”

You stiffened, right. Known-ass. “Well I was going to handle it myself. It’s not as if I asked you—”

“You shouldn’t have to lie about your relationship status.” He paused then continued. “Especially not to your friend so that she can date your boyfriend guilt-free.” Another pause. “That’s not how friendship works, last time I checked.”

So he had been listening when your spewed your life at him. “It’s not like that.” He lifted an eyebrow and you raised a hand in defence. “Yuta wasn’t really my boyfriend and Maki didn’t ask me for anything. I’m not like some sort of victim, I just want my friend to be happy.”

“By lying to her.” He added, dryly.

“Well yeah but-but-well she thinks we’re dating.” You blurted out. God the implications were painfully ridiculous. Too ridiculous to bare.

“Wasn’t that the point?”

“Yeah.” You nodded suddenly remembering the cup in your had. You took a sip of coffee. It was still warm. That conversation with Maki couldn’t have lasted any longer than 5 minutes however it felt more like 5 years. “Yeah. I guess it was. Oh I’m Y/N L/N incase you still want to file that complaint. I’m with Freak—”

“I know who you are.”

“Oh.” Maybe he had looked you up then. You tried to imagine him combing through the different people working with this record company. Your headshot had been taken a while ago so it wasn’t exactly accurate anymore. Before you had become fully aware of what you were in for, when you actively tried to look good. Taming your hair better and actually taking your makeup off before going to bed. Before you were so sleep deprived it could honestly be a little life threatening. Before the thoughts that you may never actually be able to make it as a guitarist.

“Okay.”

“I’m Satoru Gojo by the way.”

You burst into laughter. Essentially in his face. And then regretted it when you noticed his confused expression. As though he seriously thought you didn’t know who he was. As though he wasn’t one of the most popular solo artist of the century. The modesty was not at all like Gojo. You cleared your throat.

“Right. I know who you are, Gojo.”

“You should probably call me Satoru.”

“Oh. Oh god no.” That would be too-that would be dead wrong. To you it felt like overstepping. He was such a superior to you it felt dead wrong. “I couldn’t—”

“If Maki happens to be around.”

“Oh right.” That made sense. “Thank you, I hadn’t thought of that.” Or of anything else really. Your brain had stopped working properly 3 days ago when you decided kissing him to save your own ass was a good idea. “If that’s um okay with you. I’m going to go this whole thing is kind of stressful and—” if you were having it your way, you be at home, watching Ninja Warrior or RuPaul’s Drag race for the rest of the day while eating any junk you could find laying around your apartment.

He nodded, “I’ll walk you wherever your going.”

“God. I’m not that distraught.”

“In case we pass Maki.”

“Oh.” It was, you had to admit, a really kind offer. Surprisingly so, since it came from Satoru “I’m too good for everyone” Gojo. You knew he was a dick. So you couldn’t quite fathom why today he was…not. He was actually being fairly kind. Maybe your own appalling behaviour was at blame since it made anyone look good in comparison. “Thanks but no need.”

You could tell he didn’t want to insist but did anyway. “I’d feel better if you let me walk you to where your going.”

“I don’t know where I’m going.” I had had the most drastic fuck up of my life it’s no wonder I’m a little disoriented. You didn’t bother adding.

“Well why did you come here?”

You fell silent for a moment before it finally came back to you. “Oh, I have a meeting for some music video.” You rolled your eyes at the mere thought of having to shoot a music video.

He opened his mouth. Then closed it. And opened it again.

You kissed that mouth, Y/N. And it was a good kiss.

“Well what floor?”

You shrugged. “Well what floor are we on now?” You’d definitely lost all your barring. You almost completely forgot where you even were. It was only the midday and you’d completely lost it.

For the second time in a week, you’d been in an awkward predicament with Gojo and for the second time that week you couldn’t handle being around him a second longer.

“I’ll see you around, okay?”

His chest rose as he went to sigh heavily. “Yeah. Okay.” Then the sigh. What sounded like disappointment?

It didn’t matter, the with that you got out of the room as fast as you could.

TAGLIST(24/50): @bbmsxlene @lunavelha @satoryaa @tranzumaki @k-kkiana @luvkvni @lysaray @kalulakunundrum @arysbruv @r4veeen @stillnotherapy @catobsessedlady @colortheoryrocks @minzxec @dazqa @packsvlog @luvvmae @simplysm1le @mintfyi @lavender-hvze @fushism @angstmuncher @fackeraccount @astro-stars

AN

Oh my gyatt I gyatt to stop saying gyatt

© valentoru all rights reserved- do not publish my work on other platforms, plagiarise or translate.

[exopelagic]

i can’t believe i managed to get fucking mono and didn’t even get it by doing anything fun

[gamebird]

The Soonercon Convention Report

I went to Soonercon this last weekend and I wanted to share what it was like in an attempt to encourage others to attend similar local events, for those who don't know what they're missing.

It’s a science fiction/fantasy convention held in Norman, Oklahoma every year. It has what I take as the standard scifi/fantasy convention events including: Dealer’s room where people sell stuff, gaming room where scheduled and pickup games are held at all hours of the convention, art show where you can buy fandom-related paintings, prints, or sculpture (or commission an artist if you have something special in mind), a costume contest, panels by authors, artists, media guests, and other folks, and various socializing events (a dance, a burlesque show, a drag show, a Star Wars parade, a philosophy discussion den, a cartoon watching event, crafting events, etc.)

The only thing Soonercon didn’t/doesn’t have that I’ve seen at other conventions is a con suite where snacks are available either at all hours or specified hours, and a designated media room playing classic shows 24/7. Plenty of other conventions also have party rooms or even a party floor of the hotel. Some will have live action role play events. Some will have a few big-name guests. Soonercon’s guests were smaller names like voice actors or the guy who played the hero of NeverEnding Story. If they had hardcore partying, it was kept well clear of the convention areas. I heard nothing of it.

There's a lot for everybody! I go to attend the panels. My son goes for the gaming room. My nephew goes for the cosplay. My spouse/partner goes to be supportive and present (also he meets up with a friend of his from that city who volunteers at the con or at least likes fandom). My daughter likes the merchandise, the gaming, and cosplay.

It’s a very relaxed vacation for us. We get a hotel room at the convention and all go our separate ways from that safe home base.

I thought I’d go over the various things I went to and some of my thoughts about them, to give a window on what a person might do:

Friday we arrived. I went through the dealer’s room in detail by myself, which was nice to do instead of speeding up or slowing down at someone else’s pace, or having them there calling my attention to whatever they wanted me to see. I bought some delicious pomegranate gummy fruit. I made preliminary arrangements with a leatherworker for some items.

I went through the art show, which I have never been to at the beginning of the show. The previous two years I showed up at the end and rushed through. I took my time again.

I also wandered the halls at liberty, with no agenda. I didn’t think much of the panels available that day, so I did other things. I did attend an author’s reading of horror fic. One of the stories was titled ‘Grindr’ by a gay man, featuring a gay character. As soon as he went over that, two of the six in his audience left. It was a good story. The other author read a bit of theirs (also good). And then we discussed. One of the things discussed was how this was Oklahoma and the very mention of gay sent two people out of the room. It was good and thoughtful conversation.

Later that evening, I attended a comedy panel that was ‘Am I The Asshole?’ with various heroes or villains of popular fan movies discussing if they were the asshole for their role in the plot of their respective media product. It was funny and a light end to the first day.

Saturday, we got up in time for ‘Cartoons with Cereal’ panel where we ate a couple weird over-sugared cereals while watching an 80s cartoon that featured transforming vehicles and masked/helmeted action figure type characters. After that, we went to a better breakfast, complimentary at the hotel plaza.

My first regular panel of the day was ‘Essential Sci-Fi Television’ where I was hoping to see if there were important shows I haven’t seen. Maybe? Maybe not? They talked a lot about the different flavors of Star Trek and the different ways people get into fandom. I didn't add anything new to my list, but I did get more emphasis that I really ought to watch The Expanse.

At 11, I went to a panel titled ‘How do I put THAT on my resume?’ about how to translate fan interests and skills into marketable descriptive terms that can get you hired. I attended not so much for myself, as I hope to never work again after my current job, but for my son and daughter and my attempts to give them advice on how to present themselves in the business world. I’d encouraged my son to go to this panel, but he went to the gaming room. It wasn’t a great panel – I think he made the right choice. But you don’t know these things until you attend them.

I had lunch and then attended a panel titled ‘I ship it!’ thinking it would talk about the range of shipping in fandom circles. And maybe it did, but mostly it was the panelists talking about rare pairs in anime fandoms – both fandom and characters unfamiliar to me. They were excited to talk about it. I managed to steer them into sharing their thoughts about why antagonists are often more interesting to pair with a hero than the designated side kick or another hero, and then a little about what fueled ship wars/fandom drama. It was good to hear, as always, that totally different fandoms have the same problems.

After that was ‘Libraries, Intellectual Freedom, and Book Challenges’ about what books were banned, why, how, and what efforts were going on or the attendees could undertake to oppose book bans. Afterward, I approached one of the panelists for her advice on finding a good Ursula LeGuin book since I hadn’t liked Always Coming Home, but did like Left Hand of Darkness. Turns out she was a core convention organizer. I sent her an email so she could send me a rec later and separately, I filled out a form to volunteer at the next con.

At 3 I went to early dinner with my spouse/partner and his local friend, who was the one who told me the panelist I’d talked to was high up in the convention hierarchy. At 4, I roamed the dealer's room again, finalized things with the leatherworker, and bought a bunch more delicious candy.

At 5 I had a panel titled ‘LGBT+YOU, Discuss the Plus’. Given the conversation the day before with the gay horror author, I was particularly interested. Also, the panel was focusing mainly on the queer identities other than LGBT – asexuals, aromantics, pansexuals, polyamorous, etc. I found it something of a relief to see them stumble and fail to define an aromantic relationship in a way that differentiated it from non-aromantic ones. The panelists varied from early-30s to mid-60s, some partnered, some not. It was lovely to hear people’s experiences with living queer in Oklahoma.

At 6 I attended ‘Fandom Life vs Long-Term Illnesses’ but found it not super helpful. It was mostly about arthritis and diabetes, neither of which are issues I have. But I listened and learned a bit. I enjoy these authentic little windows into other people’s lives.

I attended the costume contest for the rest of the night, which was a big event with a stage show and a music act. My fave costume won! Even cooler, someone I knew was announced as winner of the Fashion Show which was an informal or less formal contest they’d had earlier in the day. I was thrilled for them.

That night at 1:11 am, someone set off the fire alarm, but it was quickly squelched. Still, everyone woke up. Later sleuthing turned up that it was a person attempting to smoke inside their hotel room.

Sunday! We had a nice breakfast again. My first panel of the day was ‘Hollow Humanism?’ talking about utopia, dystopia, and the philosophy of humanism – what were the things that prevented us from making a better world? I had hoped for stuff I could incorporate into my headcanons for Preservation or the Corporation Rim. Not so much.

Then I went to ‘Fandom – The Next Generation’ which was not about Star Trek but instead about the intergenerational fandom experiences of the panelists. I found this not very helpful. Those weren’t my families. It wasn’t about how to interest my kids in fandom (not that I needed that – they’re into it) or how I could better relate to their interests (something I was very interested in). I asked a few questions trying to guide it toward what I wanted, but the panelists really wanted to tell the audience about their lives. So. I listened.

At noon my group packed and checked out of our rooms.

But we hung around as there was a panel at 1 pm I wanted to attend, ‘Neurodivergent Characters in Fantasy and Anime’. Alas, they did not discuss Murderbot. In fact, they didn’t discuss specific characters or genres at all. Instead, they discussed neurodivergent representation in general, mindfulness, coping strategies, dealing with negative social pressures to conform, masking, exhaustion, career intersectionality, disabled rep, and a lot of things I was equally interested to hear about. So that was neat!

At 2, there was a panel about ‘Oklahoma in Fandom Media’ that I attended half of. It was fun to hear the various filming projects and other media mentions Oklahoma featured in. I left halfway through to help our group depart.

And so we drove home. It was a delightful, low-stress vacation. Lots of viewpoints. Lots of experiences. It was lovely seeing people face-to-face and getting such different impressions. It’s a very different experience than Tumblr or discord or streaming. I would very much recommend it to all of you! Get out and meet people in person in your area. Talk to them. Listen to their stories. Find out what they have to share. Share a bit of yourself in turn.

[twstbookclub]

In a different view

this is a continuation of Faded Away, but in a different POV, Sebek's side of the story. If you have not read Faded Away, please do so now by clicking HERE.

Summary: Sebek was always by their side. Watching as they went about life as the supposed future heir of the Draconia family, betrothed to Malleus. While he was used to watching, he could not help but wish acting was part of his role as well. Pronouns: Gender Neutral POV: 2nd Admin/Writer: Kai⚔️ Tags: Sebek Zigvolt, Angst, Romance, Angst without a happy ending, Hurt, Hurt no comfort, a continuation Word count: 3,408

A/N: Please please PLEASE read the previous Malleus fic first if you wish to get the full context. While it is not needed, it does add a bit more to this story and why everything turned out the way it did, and why Sebek's POV is so important!

Thank you and enjoy!

He had mixed business with personal feelings. As a retainer for Malleus, he had to stay out of the way, but he couldn’t. You were so gorgeous to him, but he could never admit that. At least, not openly. He had always heard about you and your wonderful personality from Malleus, even his master being subtly mesmerized by your memory. He’d never seen this side of his idol before, which only made him curious about who you were, and he would find out.

You were happy to be around the castle during the springtime, especially in Malleus’ rose garden. The flowers and warm sun mixed with the cool air were some of the best parts of the season. You heard grass crunch from just a few meters away, and it caused you to turn around. You were met with a pair of sage green eyes.

The boy stood there in surprise, frozen in place with his hands to his sides. “It’s not what you think. I wasn’t following you—”

“Sebek, right?” You asked, smiling and looking confident in your answer. You hadn’t met all of Malleus’ main guards, but you were familiar with their names. “I hope I’m right. I was told Silver was named as such due to his hair, but you’re the half-human, half-fae Sebek Zigvolt.”

Sebek stood in place. He couldn’t look away from you. Your smile was as bright as the sky, and the flowers couldn’t compare to how you looked natural in this setting. “You’re correct. I–I apologize for not introducing myself sooner.”

You shook your head and laughed reassuringly. “There’s no need. I haven’t been outside as much as I want to. I’ve been spending most of my time in Malleus’ study or in my own home,” you said, approaching him and bowing slightly.

“It’s nice to meet you. I’m Malleus’ fiance,” you said warmly, your radiance never faltering. That glow around you made him more curious. He needed another moment with you, even for 5 minutes, to find out more.

Whenever he could, he’d talk to you and learn more about you. In the beginning, his conversations with you meant nothing. Although, the more you talked, the longer he would see you. The longer he saw you, the more he understood why his master was so hellbent on keeping you by his side.

Sebek gave it some thought—it made no sense to him. He would wake up and long for a way to look at you, talk to you, or just be in your presence. He wanted to be acknowledged by you, but one question would deter his mind into a questionable state.

One day, you were standing with Sebek in the kitchen. Your hands worked on a dish to present to Malleus as a belated birthday celebration. You knew that Malleus didn’t like big cakes, but you never knew the reason. You were decorating a cupcake instead, and you decided to make a homemade pint of ice cream.

You remembered Malleus talking about how the cooling sensation felt nice against his fire-breathing mouth. It was common for you to bring him ice cream every weekend when you two were children. You decided on mint, not only because it was cooling but because its greenish-teal color reminded you of your fiance.

Sebek was there to watch and help you in your task. He watched how you handled everything with care and precision. His eyes drank in the way you squeezed the piping bag with gentle hands; the way your own eyes lit up when you finished icing the cupcake; the way you placed the glass bowl down with your pinky cushioning its descent.

“I think Prince Malleus will enjoy this a lot,” he commented in a soft tone, which was unusual. Before you responded, the door to the kitchen opened.

“Enjoy what a lot?” Said the voice, and your gaze darted to Malleus who approached the counter with curiosity. “Oh—”

Sebek would look at you and instantly see you brighten at the sight of Malleus. “Malleus! Ugh, you couldn’t have stayed away from the kitchen until later?” You whined, giving a playful pout. “Now, why would I have to be restricted from visiting my own kitchen?” Malleus responded, then stopped when he saw the cupcake. “Hm? Who’s that for?” 

You sighed and presented the small plate to him. The cupcake was chocolate with white and green icing, then black sprinkles. You had a cheeky smile on your face and tilted your head. “If you would have waited like I wished, I could’ve brought both gifts to your study. Belated happy birthday.”

“Both gifts?” He asked, taking the dish from your hands. He knew you wanted to celebrate his birthday that you had missed, but he didn’t think it would be so simple.

You looked at Sebek and smiled. The expression snapped the boy out of his trance, watching how you and Malleus interacted. Sebek simply nodded and took out a pint-sized container. After that, he would move back and stand guard. You and Malleus were peaceful, making the moment playful by spreading ice cream and icing on each other’s faces.

His eyes took in every detail of your expressions, laugh, and playful attitude. He could never make you feel that way. How could he ever compare his love to the love you feel for Malleus?

How could he want his master’s praise when he became infatuated with you?

Sebek had no reason to deny his feelings. He disliked humans for their weakness, but you were a fae who endured becoming a mere pawn in a game of a predestined life. You never complained, not when he knew that you loved Malleus so much. Your love for him only grew more prominent every day.

It was wrong. This was his future king’s lifelong partner.

That’s why it was so surprising to watch it all crumble before him. He tried to call you from down the hall. Seeing you aimlessly amble without your usual radiance was concerning for him. You acted fine when he greeted you moments ago, but you looked pale and dull—like you had witnessed something horrifying.

He slowly followed you out of the castle to ensure you were alright. He froze, eyes slightly widening when you suddenly collapsed in the snowy forest.

You were crying. Why? What could make someone as strong as you cry? Your shrill, gut-wrenching screams made the birds in the trees fly away from fright. What happened? You always noticed his presence, but you couldn’t even look at him this time.

Your body hunched over as your bare fingers dug into the snow-covered ground. Malleus told him how much the first snow meant to you, even advising him and Silver about not bothering you when the dust would begin to fall.

What could he even do this time? He wanted to help, but he couldn’t disobey his master. He felt weak, like a human. 

Screw this.

Before he realized it, Sebek brought you back up as gently as possible. He was still bewildered, not knowing what was okay to do now. He never had to comfort someone before, and he was usually abrasive with others, but he couldn’t be that way with you. Your eyes landed on him, then your hands clung to his clothes. He understood that you just needed a shoulder to cry on. He didn’t know what else to do, so he carried you to a safe place to relieve your sorrows.

When you calmed down, Sebek sat at a distance from you and waited. Waited as quietly as he could. Once you had a steady breathing pattern, he finally spoke.

“Why were you acting that way?”

You could only look up at Sebek with gloomy eyes, taking a deep breath to explain how Maleficia called off the engagement; how Malleus protested against the queen about having to marry another. You explained to him how you accepted it without a complaint and with a smile.

“He always rejected me, anyway. Maybe his new fiance will change him.”

Sebek was met with doubt. He was dumbfounded at what he was told. Speechless, even. He felt guilty, but he left you alone to rest in his bed for the night and even left you a change of clothing after your bath.

You could only appreciate his kindness and bid him a good night. “May the Seven be with you, Sebek.”

After a few days, Sebek stood before the doors to Malleus’ study, contemplating whether to talk about what he had been told. He thought about it, vividly remembering your tear-stained face. He felt guilty once again. He secretly enjoyed having you cry in his bed and talk to him about the situation these past few days. He wanted you in his arms again. He wanted you to need him for comfort.

“What am I even doing?” He asked himself. He had every reason to. Since he became a retainer for Malleus, he never doubted or went against his master. It amazed him just how much a person can change because of another, someone loved and cared for.

Sigh.

Enough stalling. He had to talk to Malleus. Sebek opened the door, yet he instantly stopped at the sight of Malleus, Maleficia, and the rulers of another kingdom gathered together.

There was another woman. Why did this woman feel familiar, yet so foreign?

His master was on one knee and holding the hand of that woman. The green eyes of the master he adored met Sebek’s own. All he could do was stare at her, whose hand was held by Malleus as if he were proposing. That wasn’t what caught Sebek’s attention, though.

She was standing and smiling like you. Her eyes sparkled like yours. Her beauty was mesmerizing, but she wasn’t you in the slightest.

Was disbelief even the right word?

Just days ago, he learned about Maleficia forcing Malleus into a different marriage, leaving you to fend for yourself despite being his fiance since childhood. Now, there he was, already starting to forget about you.

“Sebek,” Malleus spoke, curious as to why his retainer suddenly arrived. “Is something the matter?”

Sebek jumped at hearing his name be called, snapping him out of his trance. He looked at his master and instead put on a focused look, bowing his head. “No, Prince Malleus. I simply wanted to speak to you, but I shall wait.”

“No need. Whatever you have to say to me,” Malleus paused, looking at the family before him with a smile, “you can say it in front of them as well. They’ll be part of this lineage soon.”

Sebek’s eyes widened. He accepted the change? “I cannot. I apologize. Excuse me,” he said, leaving before hearing anything else.

It took months before Sebek could speak to Malleus, but the engagement was known, and the wedding was less than 24 hours away from now.

Sebek stood outside in the courtyard, just behind Malleus, as he watched his master lean back against a stone pillar. Malleus would look up at the stars in the night. The pillar was the last place he spent time with you, and the last time he would ever see you.

Sebek took a breath and stayed at ease, noticing how Malleus looked content and calm. How could he even look like that? Sebek would take his expressions as one of a man in love. Assuming that his master was in love with his new fiance, that is.

“Master Malleus,” Sebek blurted out, getting restless from the silence.

“How are they?” Malleus asked, still staring up at the night sky. Malleus stayed calm, but that contentedness didn’t last long. He grew slightly somber, still guilty from the events of months prior to the present day.

The half-fae was surprised, but he didn’t show it much. Instead, Sebek looked at the ground, fully letting go of his demeanor as royal guard, and spoke to Malleus as his friend.

“Not good. I can’t even fathom the events that have transpired. I learned what it means to be someone’s support due to the circumstances.”

“I see…” Malleus whispers, then he looks at Sebek. “It’s hurting you to see them this way, right? Believe me, I did not choose this.”

“I know. I am fully aware. I was told vague details, but it wasn’t hard to put the pieces together. Did you fight for them?” Sebek asked, looking at Malleus after.

“I did. They decided to accept the change, even after I pleaded.” 

“That didn’t mean you should’ve given up.”

Malleus began to chuckle, and then it turned into a laugh. Sebek was surprised once again, confused about why the hell he was laughing.

“Give up?” Malleus started, still laughing but only speaking again after being able to calm down. “I never wanted that. You don’t know what I wanted.”

Sebek grew irritated but he kept his composure, needing a damn answer. “Then, what did you want?”

Malleus leaned against the stone pillar and took a deep breath, not wanting to erupt into an outburst. "I wanted everything. They were my everything for so long. I never asked for things in life, but they were the only person I had always wanted to stay with."

"You can still say something. The wedding is tomorrow. Why won't you say something!? Are you so fond of your future wife that you want to push them away as if they didn't exist—!"

"What do you know!? I am haunted by my future wife. She acts just like them!” Malleus yelled, sounding frustrated.

“She has the same mannerisms, and moves just as elegantly as they did... But my bride is not them. I can't have them. To protect you all, I have to let go of them."

"Screw protecting us!” Sebek yelled back, getting closer to Malleus, his mind going into overdrive. “We are here to protect you, not the other way around!"

"No! I will not put this kingdom through war.” Malleus was stern and cold, different than he had ever been before. “Why are you trying to push them to me? You're only hurting your own heart, Sebek."

Sebek was shocked. This Malleus was not the one the boy had idolized for years. This love was turning the people he cared for most into strangers. "What do you mean?"

"Look at me and tell me you are not in love with my past lover. That is why you wish to fix this. If they are not happy, you are not happy either. I know that exact feeling,” Malleus stated, oddly confident about his words.

He did know that exact feeling. Sebek could see it, too. The eyes showed a lot of emotion and, as Sebek kept eye contact with his master, he could see the sorrow and regret behind the darkness of those once bright green eyes.

Sebek had to choose his words carefully. He could see how one more push could send Malleus’ over the edge. "Even if that is the case, they love you, Malleus. Not me, but you. My love for them will never compare to the love they have harbored for years with you. Do you not feel the same?"

Malleus stayed quiet. He needed to think. He had to reject everything. "I cannot love someone that is no longer mine. That is the truth,” he said, then they both heard footsteps against the concrete path.

They turned around and saw you there. Malleus was surprised at the sight of your figure coming closer. “You—”

“I wish to no longer see any conflict in regards to this situation,” you said softly, then you looked at Sebek.

“Thank you for trying to fight for me. I do not think it is necessary to do so now. It is pointless. Your words and breath are wasted in a situation that cannot be changed.” 

“But—”

“Prince Malleus,” you whisper, cutting Sebek off to look at the draconic fae beside you. “Do remember that your bride is moving into the castle a few days after the wedding.”

Malleus went silent at the mention of his fiance. His heart was hurting in a bothersome way. Why couldn’t he love you? He hated this, but he had a kingdom to take care of.

“As for myself,” you started, still staring at Malleus, “I am fine. No need to worry about me. We have done everything together since we were small children. I have loved you with every fiber of my being without fail. If you love me the same, you will marry your bride tomorrow and—”

Sebek’s eyes widened in the middle of the silence. Do his eyes deceive him?

Malleus was kissing the person Sebek loved so much. Malleus is getting married tomorrow, but he was kissing you in the same spot that changed everything that day. Your own eyes were shocked but soon closed to enjoy the sensation, your body as still as a statue.

Malleus held your waist close to him to keep you there. His lips were firmly pressed against yours, and he wouldn’t let go for a while. Sebek couldn’t look away from the scene in front of him. He had been able to endure everything. 

Not being loved by you. Not being able to make you smile or laugh. The pain was creeping up on him, witnessing the love you and Malleus had for one another despite the situation left him shattered. He felt bad for you. He could see that this was the only time this would happen. So, out of respect, he looked away.

Not only out of respect but to spare himself the pain of watching any longer.

Once Malleus pulled away, you opened your eyes and blurted out the next words that came to your mind, “I will not go to your wedding. I will spare myself that pain. I won’t lose you if I don’t witness you leave. As long as I believe you chose to leave and haven’t left my grasp, then I will be fine.”

Malleus let out a chuckle and let you go. “Good. Then, as long as you don’t see me giving myself away, I’m still truly yours.” 

You nodded in agreement and bowed your head, then looked at Sebek. “Then, this is goodbye. No—that’s too bitter,” you said playfully, looking at Malleus again and taking his hand one last time.

“It is simply ‘see you later’,” Sebek responded, looking at the two of you with a small smile. “Good luck.”

You nodded again and let go of Malleus’ hand before walking away. Your smile dropped once they could no longer see your face.

After a couple of years, Malleus’ coronation was successful, and Sebek was looking around for his master around the ballroom floor. After a few minutes of searching, he only found Malleus on the balcony, but he was with you. You came to the coronation. 

Sebek watched as you and Malleus stared into each other’s eyes, the obvious longing for one another still present. He noticed how you looked so different. Your eyes that sparkled were dull before, but they sparkled like stars once you set your eyes on the new king.

You were angelic and carefree to Sebek. He liked all sides of you, but this one only hurt him.

“You were a wonderful experience.” 

Sebek heard Malleus speak, but then he quickly had to hide when someone called for Malleus. He watched as they dragged their king away and left you alone.

“You were… everything.”

You said that, thinking you were alone. Sebek only realized that the time you spent away from Malleus did nothing. He could tell that Malleus was the same way. He slowly stepped out and looked at you, concern prominent on his face.

“Sebek…” You said quietly, your eyes dulling once again. 

Sebek had fallen in love with the person he couldn’t have. He knew it was taboo, especially since they were the person that his master loved so much, but it’s not like he’d ever reveal it. His body took over for a moment and when he came back to his senses, he had his arm wrapped around you in a hug. 

To Sebek, the person in front of him was like a candle. Bright, full of many chances and changes, but even those have a limit. Now, this lovely candle had burned out and would never have the ability to light up again.

[pleaseeeimjustagirl]

🎀30 Day Glow Up Challenge🎀 - day twenty six

♡ Mindset : I haven’t been reading my book for 10 minutes like I’m suppose to which is so bad. But I’ve been working on other things like my affirmations and when I don’t read my book I watch self help podcasts which definitely help.

♡ Health : I’m walked over 6K steps today. I am so proud of myself for putting in that effort to get in those steps and I worked out I missed my workouts and Thursday so I am making up for that this weekend. I feel so good and I’m definitely seeing a change in my glutes and the shape of them. I went grocery shopping and I followed my meal plan as well as continuing my research on reverse dieting.

♡ Self Care : the walk I took was very therapeutic and needed I went with my sister and we just talked about a lot and had a good laugh. Reading and playing games as well make me feel relaxed. I tried to make a collagen smoothie hateddd itttt. I’ll update you girliesss on my next experiment lol.

♡ Experience : I spent some time with my sister which was very nice and I was creating a meal plan for my reverse diet using Canva it’s so much fun being creative.

Tell me how you’re doing babes I would love to know my inbox and requests are open<33333

[asmutwriter]

Just A Woman (Part 1 Section 3)

DESCRIPTION: After your weekend with the Bridgerton family you go back to your usual living. Bumping into a familiar face whilst at work

A/N - I have condensed partr 1 (which you can find here) into 4 smaller chunks so that you can have a better reader experience

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

WORD COUNT: 2819

From beginning / Previous / Next / Master List

WARNINGS: swearing, mentions of prostitution, time period sexism, mentions of sex work

DISCLAIMERS

- I wrote this in my knowledge of sex workers and I am truly sorry if I got it wrong and/or is offensive, that is not what I wanted to do and I’m sorry if that is the case

-  This is fiction. Please always talk to your partner before doing anything and make sure they are ok with what you are doing beforehand

The next morning you awaken late again. You get dressed and go downstairs. After you have had breakfast you go to find Violet. You bow to her slightly as you see her “Lady Bridgerton. I’m sorry to bother you but I was wondering if I could have your help. I’m not fully acquainted with balls and I am unsure of which dress to wear” she smiles and looks at you

“My dear, I’d be happy to help you” you both go to your room, showing her your dresses she picks out the prettiest one for you. Holding it up against your body “Yes this one. The colour will suit you just fine” she smiles and lies it on the bed “get dressed about 10 minutes before it starts. It will ensure your dress stays as nice as it can be for when the guests arrive” you nod and smile at her, bowing as she leaves the room. You go over and gently trace the fabric of the dress.

The day seems to take longer than normal as you pace around the house. Anxious about tonight. You get dressed into the gown, one of the maids helping you do up your corset and put the dress on. You walk out to see all the Bridgerton’s and John waiting for you. You smile and go over to John. You see him put a finger up “I have something I want you to wear tonight. A gift from me to you” he turns and takes out a box. Opening it he reveals a beautiful necklace. The colours matching perfectly to your dress.

“Holy shit!” you cover your mouth. He tries hard not to laugh as do some of the Bridgerton siblings. He picks it up from the velvet box, 

“May I?” you nod as he places the piece around your neck. You lightly trace the jewellery. He smiles as he watches your face beam with joy as you hug him. Pulling away and straightening your dress again

“How do I look?” you twirl

“Beautiful” he takes your hand and kisses it

“Good. That was the correct answer” he laughs as he excuses himself momentarily. You see him go over to the older Bridgerton boys but you are too busy talking to Daphne to take into account what he says. That’s when the first guests start to arrive. You hide in the corner of the room, watching as the men and woman dance away. All beautifully choreographed. You have found yourself at a buffet table, indulging in the grapes there. Colin walks over to you

“Are you not going to dance?” you shake your head

“If I dance I fear I may fall over and make a complete fall of myself” he nods as you hear his name being called. You turn to see a young ginger haired girl approach you. You smile at her and bow slightly.

“Colin have you seen your sister? I’ve been trying to find her but I haven’t had such luck”

“No I haven’t Pen. I saw her earlier but not recently” she nods as she looks at you and smiles

“I don’t think I’ve had the pleasure. I’m Penelope”

“I’m Isabella” she bows her head slightly to you as she looks at Colin. You see complete admiration in her eyes as she looks at him. You see a similar look when he meets her gaze. 

“I believe the next dance is starting” you say “It’d be a shame for you to not show off such a beautiful dress miss” you smile at the young girl. Nudging Colin “I would take her to the dance floor but it is not proper. Would you do me the honour of taking this beautiful girl for a dance?” he chuckles and offers his hand, you smile as she takes it and they head off. A few moments later you are met with Benedict. You look at him and offer him a grape to which he turns down. You pop it into your mouth as you watch the couples twirling and dancing. “What did John say to you earlier?”

“What do you mean?”

“He said something to you and your brothers earlier this evening. And I haven’t seen him tonight so I wondered what he asked you” you can see him about to go and change the subject but you interrupt him beforehand “if you don’t answer me I will ask your brothers. If they don’t answer me I’ll ask every single person at this party until I find out where he is” you smile at him innocently

“He said that he has an urgent meeting with someone so he will attend when he is free. He asked me and my brothers to keep you company and make sure you feel welcomed here” you nod and eat another grape

“Are you not going to dance?” he shakes his head “Why not?”

“No one here I’d like to dance with” you nod and look around “do you not want to dance?”

“I would but don’t you have to wait for someone to ask you?” you look at him as he nods. He puts his hand out for you to take

“Will you do me the honour?” you smile and take his hand. Letting him take you to the dance floor as he smiles at you, telling you the basic steps as he takes the lead. After the dance you bow to each other and go back to where you were standing. An older woman comes over to you and smiles

“Hello my dear. That dress and necklace is amazing”

“Thank you ma’am” you nod slightly at her in appreciation. She smiles

“Your dancing is amazing as well. It looked like you were having lots of fun” you nod and smile

“Oh it was great. I did nearly piss myself from excitement though” she looks shocked at your words but then laughs slightly. You look at Benedict who is also trying not to laugh at your words. “Where do I get a drink?”

“I’ll go get you a lemonade” you nod and smile as he walks away, leaving you with the woman. John’s mother walks over to you

“My dear. Why don’t you show Lady Danbury here your singing skills?”

“Oh no I couldn’t possibly-”

“I insist. It is my son’s ball so he will be happy for you to show your skills” Benedict walks over and gives you your drink. You take it 

“Thank you” you smile but lean closer “save me”

“Come on my dear” she goes over and calls out “everyone. My lovely friend Isabella will be singing a song for you all” she looks at you. You tighten your grip on your drink

“Fuck it” you murmur and take your drink as a shot. You walk over to one of the instruments the band is playing “May I?” he nods and allows you on it. You start to play a few notes, thinking of words to sing. You start to sing, your voice filling the now quiet hall. Afterwards they clap for you

“How would people like another song?” you shake your head

“Oh no I-”

“Go on, sing for us some more” Johns mother says. You catch eyes with Benedict who mouths ‘go on’ at you. You glare at him before nodding slightly and playing the instrument again you start to sing words. Everyone claps again and you bow slightly. Going back over to Benedict

“Amazing performance there” you playfully hit his arm

“Hush. How much longer before I can take this dress off and wear something less damaging to my organs” he laughs slightly “I’m serious. I think my torsos gone numb. Plus I’m overheating. I feel a little like a lobster in a pot” he laughs again, making you glare at him but smile.

“I think it’s about an hour or so longer to go”

“Fucks sake” you say just as Lady Danbury walks over to you again, raising her eyebrow at your as she overhears your swear. You smile at her and bow slightly “m’lady. Pleasure to see you again”

“You have quite the excellent singing voice. Where do you hear the songs you sing?”

“Oh I make them up as I go. My friend always told me I have a good ear for musical notes”

“Yes. The words though my dear. They really speak to the soul do they not?” you nod and smile at her

“I have to admit, my other friend reads romantic novels constantly and I always mock her for it. Tending to make up soppy words on the spot to make her embarrassed” she laughs at your words

“Makes sense my dear. She is lucky to have a friend like you” she smiles as she leaves. You look at the Bridgerton brother

“Was I ok?” he nods

“You were great” he takes a sip of his drink “I think she may be quite fond of you” that is when Eloise and Penelope walk over to you. Penelope watching Colin fondly from the other side of the room. Eloise looks at you 

“Danced with any men yet?”

“Only your brother. No one else has asked me to dance” she nods “have you two been in a dance yet?” they shake their heads. You look around, seeing if you can find a young man to dance with any of you. You make eye contact with someone who looks at you intensely. You break eye contact but before long he walks over to you four. 

“Don’t I know you from somewhere?” he looks you up and down

“I think you have me mistaken for someone else” you smile at him. He looks at your eyes and grins

“No I know you. You work in that little place down the road. What’s it called? You know. The place with the who-”

“Yes Mr Bridgerton I would love to have another dance” you say as you take his hand and go to the dance floor. You see the two younger girls try to ask the gentlemen questions but he dismisses them both and walks away.

“Where do you work?” you shake your head at the question.

“That is not relevant. And now is not the time or place to ask me” you smile at him slightly, meeting your eyes. 

The rest of the night goes slowly. But the following day goes by quickly when it is soon the evening and you must go. You are surprisingly sad to say goodbye to all the Bridgerton’s and John. But you make your leave, them driving a carriage back to your place of work. John allowed you to keep some of the dresses he leant you, noting he left you the money in one of the gowns. You get out of the carriage, walking home from the brothel. You open the door to your small and quiet house. 6 young girls running and hugging you. “We’ve missed you so much” they all start telling you about their days. You nodding and smiling at them all, knowing you must retire to bed soon as you are tired. The eldest notices

“I’ll put them to bed. Go and have a bath and go to sleep” you nod and do what she says. Falling asleep, memories of the past few days filling your dreams. The next morning you are awoken to find all the younger children crawled into your bed. You hug them all before leaving and getting dressed, going about your morning duties before they wake up. Once they have all awoken you all have lunch together and they go and play in the garden apart from Daisy who is sitting down reading a book. 

“Not more romances I hope”

“This ones more a psychological book”

“Does the girl and the guy end up married at the end?” she nods “Then it’s a romance” she rolls her eyes at you as she places the book down on the table.

“Tell me about the ball. Was it as good as we always thought it’d be?”

“Honestly, it was better. I felt like a queen the whole evening”

“What was the food like?”

“Delicious. I managed to swipe a box of chocolates from them” you go over to your still unpacked bags and grab out a tray of unopened chocolates, showing it to her before putting it in a high shelf so the younger ones couldn’t reach it. You pull out one of the dresses and show her “I was allowed to keep 3 dresses as well. I picked the 3 prettiest ones” she goes over and touches the fabric. Letting her look at it you look at the clock. “I need to go to work. I won’t be long. I need to let them know I’m ok and home safely” she nods as she admires the other 2 dresses. You hug her before leaving. 

Getting to your work place and entering it was a weird experience. You were so used to seeing people being prim and proper that it now seemed shocking to you for people to be grinding against each other half naked. You go and meet your friend who hugs you, cigarette in her hand “Isa! You’re back! You weren’t murdered” you shake your head as you get dressed into your working clothes. Some high stockings, a short skirt and a low cut corset. 

“Honestly I’m glad to be back”

“Oh was no one hot enough for you to get your freak on?”

“Not that. More they were all too pristine so they wouldn’t dare even look at you in the eyes incise it caused pregnancy” you laugh as you bid her farewell and go out into the crowd of people. You go over and sit at the bar, ordering yourself a drink. A few minutes pass and you feel someone sit next to you. You take a sip of your drink before turning. “Hey ther-” you see Benedict sitting next to you, ordering a drink before he turns to you. A slight shocked expression. You look away “I’m sorry I must go” he takes your hand quickly

“Isabella?”

“I’m sorry you must have me confused for someone else” you continue to look at the ground. He tilts your head up slightly by your chin. Meeting your eyes with his

“Why are you in a brothel?”

“I could ask you the same thing”

“I think mine is a more obvious reason”

“And mine isn’t?” you motion at your clothes as he looks at your body. You see him shift slightly in his seat before looking at you again

“Why are you working in a brothel?” he whispers. You look around, grabbing his hand and taking him to a private room and shutting the door

“I told you I worked. You seem surprised”

“I am surprised”

“Why? Is a girl not allowed to make money of her own? Is she not allowed to express her sexuality like how men do?”

“You are. I’m just surprised to see someone who seemed so shy to even look at a man working in a place where her job is to have sex with them” you turn red at his words. “How long have you worked here?”

“About 3 years” you look away from him as he nods and sits on the bed. “So John...?”

“He payed me. But don’t tell him I told you. Shit. Why are you here?”

“Although John is going back tomorrow and his mother is also leaving today they said that we could stay in their house for a week. Have a family week away”

“So you’re here because?”

“Because it is difficult to find a woman out here, if you must know” you chuckle slightly 

“You’re right. I can go get you one of our lovely ladies if you’d like?”

“I umm, I’d quite like to just stay in here and talk to you. If you’d be ok with that?” you nod slightly and go and sit next to him on the bed.

“I can’t be long here. I promised my friend I’d be back home soon. I said I’m only coming here so that they know I’m ok” he nods and looks at you

“Why don’t we go back now?”

“What?”

“I want to chat. You want to go home. I might as well come with you, right?”

“I’m flattered but I don’t know if my house is up to your kind of requirement” he shrugs and stands up, holding his hands out to you

“I don’t care. I want to see where you live” you nod and let him help you up. You excuse yourself and quickly get dressed into your normal clothes and then join him again. You both walk about a mile to your house. Once there you look at him, trying to judge his expression on his face as he sees your small house.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

[norcumii]

SPOILERS AHEAD FOR D20′S NEVERAFTER

(This was started the weekend after the finale, then my spoons ran away for awhile. -_-; Hopefully this is coherent anyways, even if late.)

I have been...struggling with this season of Dimension 20. As we’ve gone from episode to episode, I keep coming back to the issue of foundational rules – not in the sense of mechanics of world-building, but the thematic underpinnings and models. You’re telling a story about stories. We have these elements of horror and free-will; themes of consumption and corruption; cycles and multi-verses.

And I haven’t been able to tie it all together. My metaphorical wall-chart of photos and string has been an unending tangled mess (and my brain staunchly refuses to stop fixating on Aesop’s Mouse and Lion, aka the mascots of Disney and MGM so obviously that’s been a heel-turn of Capitalism waiting to happen >_>). After the finale I just sat there blinking for a bit, feeling like that certainly was a thing that had happened, but what did it all MEAN?????

There wasn’t anything that felt wrong with what happened, but there wasn’t any narrative logic I could grasp, no themes to tie things together other than “things are better now and what people chose for themselves” which is...nice, but vague enough to be unfulfilling. I couldn’t find anything to the Adventuring Party episode to help, so in growing frustrating I went browsing through the related tags on the tumbls.

This deceptively simple post broke me because it explained matters so well. It’s trauma. The whole season, all the horror and meta themes are about trauma. Suddenly all the oddly shaped puzzle pieces I couldn’t stop pawing at fit.

This is why the dark times began in the first place. People worried so much about trauma that they managed to traumatize themselves. Look how Sleeping Beauty’s vines literally smothered her in an attempt to protect her. All these population centers withdrew from each other, borders closed between the various kingdoms, and thus people pulled away from the potential for community support – everyone was left to struggle and fall on their own.

It wasn’t what I originally thought, some nebulous fear of fear itself inevitably leading to the darkside nonsense, but instead how we isolate ourselves into our little echo chambers – each person caught up in their story and their story alone. How we become mired in those events/trauma until one’s entire life is framed around That Horrible Thing What Happened At One Point In My Life.

Which in turn addresses the Authors – as a storyteller myself, I was mighty uncomfy with the presentation of the Authors as a unified bloc of uncaring eldritch horrors from beyond that only wanted the suffering of their playthings. I couldn’t figure if I was picking up on the wrong vibe, or if this was one of those learning moments where “if you’re uncomfy that might be ‘cause it hits too close to home and you need to sit with that for a bit to chew it over” or whatever. With the trauma context, it makes sense. On the one hand, the Authors are the external force: just like the characters, they’ve been corrupted by the fear of the Dark Times, and thus spreading that to their creations, which spread it back to them, etc. On the other they are very much an internal force: when we are traumatized, we tell ourselves stories to contextualize what happened. That can be done in a healthy way – this is one of the reasons we tell stories to begin with – or one can become mired in that narrative, telling and retelling it while fixating on the worst parts (that fear of the Dark Times thing again) until all that one sees is the worst iteration.

Which is why there was the multiverse aspect, and why each one could/did get worse. For that matter, it addresses the evolution of Pib’s minis, which baffled me when they were revealed. He begins as the dapper rogue, then becomes the hardened stray, then the scared little cat. Trauma wears at people, and oftentimes the immediate reaction is to withdraw, to be emotionally distant and appear tough – Rather like Zac’s choices on how Pib changed between incarnations. From there its so easy to get ground down further, into something so tired and hurting that it’s difficult to expect anything other than to be hurt further. Or look at Rosamund, increasingly isolated by her briars, which are choking her as they “lovingly” work to protect her from the big bad scary world – until she is puppeted by them.

Honestly, a lot of character choices make a lot more sense. Ylfa’s separation, how she believed that “the girl kept holding the wolf back.” The Stepmother’s everything, exemplifying that old saying about how “hurt people hurt people,” and a classic example of how easy it is to repeat generational trauma, especially when you don’t have a model for other ways to approach matters. The princesses’ utter nihilism, the exhausted desperation to just have the suffering stop. The fairies as the well-meaning but misguided faction endorsing placating the/a source of trauma to keep things from getting worse is all too familiar of those caught up in traumatic cycles but want to exercise some, any kind of autonomy. Meanwhile look at how Rapunzel grew able to lash out at literally everyone, and how she was utterly honest without ever needing to be truthful. How so many people just needed to rest in Mother Goose’s book, to get some reprieve from the relentless cycle of trauma (and how it helped them, and in return helped the party).

This explains the horrible Worst Case ending that was mentioned in the Adventuring Party: the Stepford Wives society of terrifying seeming-perfection crystallizing everyone into a semblance of how Everything Is Fine, Nothing Is Wrong, and no lessons are learned, no changes can be made, and the core is often rotting away unseen. All too often, society pressures us to pretend trauma didn’t happen, or that it wasn’t so bad. (How many times have you heard that PTSD is only for military folks, or those who survived massive natural disasters or whathaveyou?) The lesson we internalize is to pretend that all is peachy-keen, no problems whatsoever, and when that happens the trauma is never addressed. One can’t heal if all your energies are devoted to keeping up the facade of an idyllic existence. To be stuck in that cycle is indeed pretty apt for the worst end of a horror season.

Of course, this leads to the big question: what makes the players different? HOW did they manage to break the cycle? By literally crafting a new narrative – by allowing EVERYONE to make their own, new narrative, to shed the weight and burden of generational trauma. Some of them, like Pinocchio, had already internalized their own story – in his case, that meant taking up the terrifying responsibility of autonomy, taking up his own strings and destiny. Pinocchio learned and understood his story, stepping forward to not be ruled by his past experiences – like Gerard, choosing to leave his humanity and stop chasing the old goals that everyone said he should desire. Even though they both grieved the loss of that goal, and all the ramifications of leaving those hopes behind – even as it meant accepting the scars and changes it wrought upon them – it helped them and others in their stories break out of the cycle of trauma.

Stories are doorways to other places – sometimes a temporary haven in someplace better, where no matter how bad things get, there is a ‘happily’ at the end of it. Sometimes they’re models of how things could be horrible, and we can learn how others deal with grief/tragedy/horror – so we in turn can acquire those skills and life lessons. Vicarious experiences can help mitigate/understand trauma, and somehow, without me even noticing it, this season leaned wholeheartedly into it.

I think I need to rewatch it all through that lens, and tbh? I’m looking forward to it.

[veilantares]

Red Render

Metal Masked Machines, tread lightly as they go, they first tend to the seeds, then rend when they reap and sow

Something from earlier in January. I sometimes get told that everything I make looks the same, which is a bit unfortunate, I like to think I put a lot of effort into keeping each piece its own flavour even if that flavour has the same underlying stylistic rules and limitations.

One of the ways that manifests is that if I’ve used a specific colour combination before, like blue and purple with gold highlights, sometimes I wait months until I use it again, like some sort of maniac. When it comes to shapes language it doesn’t feel like it happens as often... but its still there...

To try and break out of that, when I made this piece I deliberately tried to make it look like another piece I made, if the combo works it feels somewhat silly to restrict myself from reusing it (but sometimes irrational artist brain refuses to let me just do things). In any case for my last few pieces I’ve just not even had backgrounds in them, just using black and white with one accent colour, no gradients or anything. 

I’m certain I wont stay with that for long, it was a nice break but somehow doesnt feel like an evolution of the style quite yet, although maybe I just haven’t pushed it far enough.  

Hoping that as I think through this perhaps I’ll find an idea for something to make and share by the end of the weekend, it feels like I’ve fallen into a sort of funk ... and I feel some small guilt any time I let free time pass by without making something new.