#also this guy is their cousin and 6 years younger than me

[thecolorsfucked]

*texts my roommate/bestie about how my other roommate/recent acquaintance just told me one of his kinks unprompted*

*checks 15x if i sent it to the groupchat*

[sillypilled-friendcel]

"what do you know about drinking" "what do you know about smoking" "what do you know about weed" "what do you know about drugs" you do not know me or my life!!!!!!

[hunnidmilly]

crushin’ on you. |s.s|

(a/n) omg. im kinda nervous here. i wanted to try my luck at writing for solo sikoa. aye it’s wild asl when the whole damn family fine asl. im also cooking up something for jey usoooo :))). this is also inspired by @msbigredmachine ‘I still heart you’ oneshot featuring solo and nadine. complete credit to you <3. enjoy.

“it’s cool, not tryin’ to put the rush on you. i had to let you know that i got a crush on you…”

warnings: none.

parings: fluff!solo sikoa x black!reader

tagged: @cyberdejos2

“Shit!” You let out a painful groan as you almost twisted your ankle while wearing your 6 inch heels.

“You’re so damn childish.” Your best friend, Leilani, mumbled with a roll of her eyes trailing behind you as you rushed towards catering, “You a little too old for this shit, no?”

“Instead of running your motormouth, you need to be making sure he’s not near me.” You pant, nearly out of breath from your speed walking.

“Bitch, we just speedwalked all the way to the other side of the damn building away from him! He can’t fucking teleport, dammit.” Leilani responds pulling out a chair to sit down lowering her head to the table, “Why won’t you jus—“

“You think he saw me? What if he thinks I’m crazy? All he did was wave. Fuck man. Fuck!” You whine as you throw your head into your hands in embarrassment

“I hope the motherfucker does, then you can stop running away like a 6 year old child.”

“Your mother.” You mumbled out

Currently, you found yourself in a sticky situation. You were always told before you got into this business, “Don’t fall in love with your coworkers.” And here you were. Head over heels for a certain younger Samoan. Solo was practically your husband in your head at this point. You've had a crush on him since meeting him in developmental. With a handful of conversations, hanging out with your friend group, and even going out to eat, how could you not develop even the slightest of feelings for him?

While many saw him as the silent enforcer to his older cousin, Roman, he often showed you a different side when you were alone with him. When you allowed yourself to be. You could barely contain yourself around him. If it’s from falling over the damn air, to stuttering over your words, or saying the most random shit ever…you were crushin’ on him. and you had it bad.

Safe to say, you spent your nights in your hotel room with only a box of your favorite 10 piece hot wing combo, lurking on his socials, and his friends and family’s socials from a separate account than your company one.

You found it easier to just avoid him all together, to keep your little schoolgirl feelings safe. You’ve had way too many experiences of admitting your feelings for others and it went completely left. Rejection is a part of life, but that doesn’t mean it doesn't hurt. And a man like him? coming from one of the biggest wrestling families? You were nowhere near comparable. Deciding to save yourself from the embarrassment, you’d admire the Samoan from a distance…all while creating it.

Leilani and you were walking down a hall when you spotted him talking to his brother. He through a wave in your direction with a dazzling smile, expecting you to return it. Yeah, you didn’t. Quite the opposite, in fact.

You pretend as if you didn’t see him. And spun on your heel and speed walked down the opposite direction you were intending.

Even though Solo clearly saw you, see him, see you, see him.

“Stupid, you do know you’re 31 years old, right? Not 13. Just tell him you like him. What’s the worst he can do?” Leilani explains with a agitated expression coating her face

“He could say, ‘Hey, I’m not interested.’ and there goes my fuckin

dignity. Right down the drain.” You answer

“Then onto the next, girl! He’s not the only guy you’re ever going to like. He’s not the only guy who’ll rejec—“

“Reject me. I know. Save the speech, Joel Olsten. I don’t need the embarrassment that comes from that. We work together, Lei. Do you understand how awkward that would be?” You screech out slamming your hands in the table

“You knew it was going to be awkward when you started liking him. You and him have gone out before. You’re literally friends.”

“We’re friends through friends, Lei. It’s different. We’ve never gone out alone. It’s always been with other people. But he’s not the ‘enforcer’ around me. He’s just Joseph.” You sighed, beginning to feel sorry for yourself.

Leilani was right. You were a grown woman. He’s not the only guy in the world. But somehow, in front of other people, he always had a way of doing so.

One time you went out bowling with your friends a few months back, and he opened the door for you, placing his hand on your lower back, letting you enter the building before him. That entire night, he paid more than enough attention to you. Asking you about your life outside of wrestling, laughing at your jokes, and poking fun at your lack of ability to bowl. He even ordered your food for you. He ended that night by giving you a small hug.

You could still smell his cologne if you closed your eyes tightly enough.

But what if you were reading into this all wrong? He could’ve done that as a way to show he was sincerely interested in being your friend.

Late at night you always dreamed, he was crushin’ just as hard on you as you were to him. But he’s a grown man too. He would’ve said something by now if he was genuinely interested. Right?

Right?

“You need to put on your granny panties and go up to him and ask him to hang out. Bitch, you’re old. Get your ass up. Oop, just in time.” Lei suddenly smirks, her eyes moving past your head

You furrowed your eyebrows and turned in your chair to see Solo entering the catering area, his face in his phone. You admittedly felt yourself begin to shake and start to sweat. Your chest getting heavy.

“Girl, get the fuck up. You know what, actually. Solo!” Lei suddenly shouts getting his attention

“What the fuck are you doing?” You snap into her direction

“I’m deflowering your pussy ass. Either take the chance, or shut up! Hey, Solo!”

You turned around to see him making his way to your table with a smile on his face. ‘I’m going to bitch slap her so hard’ you thought in your head, glaring at Leilani.

“Wassup y’all?” Solo says as he sits in a metal chair next to you

“Hey! We’re just talking about this one’s match tonight. I was just saying we need new gear. Here, let me sho—Dammit. My phone died. I’m gonna go get my iPad; I'll be back in a jiffy.”

Your eyes nearly popped from your skull at Leilani’s words, “I’ll be back, you two. Don’t go anywhere, yeah?” She snickers at the inside joke before standing up and walking off

You bit down on your tongue as you watched her saunter off, down the hallway of the arena. opposite of her locker room, where her iPad would be.

little lying ass bitch.

“So y’all thinking about new gear? Whatchall’ thinking about?” Solo asks, moving his arm to lay against the back of your chair.

Fuck me now, “Um…y-yeah. We are. Y’know? We needa stay up to par as tag team champions.” You stutter, silently curing yourself in your head.

“Hell yea! Yall have been killing it lately out there. I remember in developmental, you’d always say how one day you were going to dominate the women's tag team division. If only little you could see yourself right now. Right?” He grins showing his teeth

He remembered that? That was a while ago.

“Yeah. She’d probably be shitting herself.” Fuck.

He chuckles to himself before facing you again, “You guys ready for backlash? I see Natalya is gearing up. Ion know. You might got some serious competition there, baby girl.”

Was that a pet name? Why’d he call you that? Where did he get that? How many other girls does he call that?

“W-w-well she better bring her ass then to be geared the fuck down!” You respond, slightly cursing yourself.

Solo laughs at your bashfulness and you grab a mini water bottle from the center of the table. You quickly opened it and attempted to drown it in its entirety before you began coughing.

Who swallows water the wrong way? Seriously?

“Yo! Yo! You good?” Solo perches upwards with a concern look on his face actively patting your back

Does it look like i’m fucking good? What do you think?

“Y-yeah!” You cough out still hacking your lungs

“Lemme getchu som—Hey, wait a minute.“ Solo's words were cut off as you waved your hand off and stood up to leave. Still coughing, you walked toward the exit with a frown on your face.

Once again, you fucked it up and embarrassed yourself. This time by choking on your water.

“Hey, wait. It’s oka—“ Solo's words were cut off once again as you leaned too close to the door, yanking it open resulting in hitting your head with it.

Before anyone else could see your multiple fuckups, you quickly exited the catering area. You walked as fast as you could to your locker room, clutching your head. You felt the tears in your eyes begin to form at your embarrassment. You felt sorry for yourself. A 31 year old grown ass woman, couldn’t admit to a dude that you were feeling him. The shit was pitiful to say the least.

You clutched your jacket closer to your body as you waited for your Uber Eats delivery to arrive. After a long night, you made the ‘expected’ decision to just head back to the hotel for the night. Avoiding Solo for the duration of the show. Wherever you spotted him, you made sure you weren’t. or at least well hidden. You lowered your gaze down to your phone, eyeing the unread message from Leilani.

Lei: Soooooo. You 2 lovebirds bond?

You didn’t have it in your heart to tell her the truth. Once again, you messed up. If he didn’t think you were weird before, he certainly does now.

Shaming yourself for wearing shorts, while it was chilly outside, you saw the car of your Uber Eats driver pull up. You stayed near the hotel entrance and prepared to greet him to receive your order. As the man gets out with a bag, from the corner of your eye, you couldn’t help but notice Solo beginning to walk towards you, his suitcase in tow. You quickly retrieved your bag, and headed back inside.

Not again. No, never again.

Just as you pressed the elevator button, you heard the creaking of wheels.

“Wassup?” He greets with a smile

“Hey.” You smile back up at the man

Solo's face gains a confused look. You were being short with him. while he knew you were shy. You at least attempted more of a conversation with him.

As the elevator opened, you both entered. You kept your head hung low, as you both waited to reach the floor. When the doors opened, you stepped out and quickly walked towards your room door, accepting your defeat.

“Hey, wait a second.” Solo starts, following behind you.

You were prepared to keep the conversation short and simple. Do not allow yourself to be swept away into another series of painful and embarrassing events.

“Why are you always so…different? Around me. I see you with everyone else. Leilani. The other ladies and guys. You’re yourself. But when it comes to me? You’re different. Wassup? Did I do something?”

You let out a breath as you stared up at the man. You had one shot. And here it was, right here. He was right. You weren’t normally the shy type. But dammit, you could barely form a sentence near him. Leilani was right. There were more fish in the sea. Even if this was the fish you wanted.

“Solo listen. I…I have feelings for you. Bad. I try to save my own feelings by pushing them to the side, but instead I end up looking like a fucking dumbass, every-single-time. I know what you’re going to say. And it’s cool. I’m not tryna put the rush on you. So just sav—“

You were ready to continue your ramble. Ready to explain and accept your rejection. You felt yourself being pressed against the door of your hotel room as Solo's lips combined with yours.

You dropped your bag of food onto the ground, and your arms slid around his neck. You felt yourself moan into his mouth as his tongue snaked into yours, welcoming. His arms slid around your waist, pressing your body against his. As you both tasted each other and fought for dominance, you thought back to what Leilani said. Ole ass was right.

You pulled away from Solo, keeping your arms locked around his neck. “And what if I said I was feeling you too? Then what?” He responded

“I’d be speechless.”

“Good. Save yourself from saying something crazy again.” He chuckles before diving in again for another taste of your lips against his.

[obexes]

CATALYSIS

R.C x READER • R.G x Reader

A/N- This was 100% self indulgent, Most of this isn't Canon, and in this "AU" Roman Godfrey is Rafe Cameron's younger cousin. Anyway If you read this I hope you like it, any feed back is appreciated! Also this is gonna be a 5 part series!

Warnings - Swearing, Underage Drinking, Sexual Themes

Summary- When Roman refuses to acknowledge readers blooming feelings for him & the moments they shared, his cousin Rafe is there to remind her that she deserves better.

Word Count- 5.5k

You're chilling on your couch, trying desperately to ignore your phone buzzing and focus on the movie you're watching. Granted it's a friday night and around 7 pm, so you couldn't really blame your cousin Kie for blowing up your phone. Giving in, you pluck it off of the coffee table.

Kiara: bitch, kelce is throwing a party

Kiara: me & nicky are coming to get you

Kiara: 15 min ;) get ur ass up!

You'd already ignored her previous texts asking what you were up to, choosing to sulk in the solitude of your family's villa. Your parents had taken another trip to Mexico and had taken your 10 and 6 year old siblings, leaving you and your brother Dominique (or Nicky, as you all affectionately called him) under the care of a couple of your fathers security guards and your housekeeper, Giselle.

Nicky and Kie had been trying to get you to a party since summer started a few weeks ago. Normally you'd tag along but ever since Kie and Sarah stopped being friends a couple months before summer started, it kind of ruined the dynamic of a once close and spirited group of friends.

You blow a breath of air out through your nose, throw the light blanket off of your lap and make your way into the hallway. Giselle smiles at you as you pass the kitchen and you smile back with a small wave. Upstairs in your room, you pause to give yourself a twice over in your vanity's mirror. You were blessed in that you got your moms naturally curly hair and your dads bright eyes and smooth tanned skin. Deciding that makeup was not a necessity at the moment, you open up your closet doors and step inside.

Being a kook came with its perks, you had to admit your closet was to die for and was one of the only reasons you truly enjoyed your parents' lifestyles. You sift and end up deciding on a white skims bodysuit, and dark jean shorts. You change as quickly as you can and grab a pair of white boots to slip on.

No sooner than you've slipped on the last shoe, do you hear the obnoxious custom horn of your brother's Chevy. You practically sprint back to your vanity and grab your purse, carelessly throwing a lip gloss, your phone and other random shit inside before running down the stairs.

"Bye Giselle, I'll be home later!", and with that you're on your way out of the door, selectively ignoring her calls for you to not be home too late. On the porch, one of your fathers men greets you from where he stands guard. They try to be subtle but your parents are a bit ostentatious about their business in Mexico. All of the security and the watchful eyes makes it difficult to be a normal teenager sometimes.

Your brother and Kie are parked in the centre of the long circular driveway, and you hop in. "Hey guys.”, throwing your bag down next to you and buckling your seatbelt.

"Y/N! Hey!" Kie beams at you, "I feel like it's been forever since you've gone out with us.”

Nicky scoffs and puts the car in drive, peeling out of the driveway. "That's because it has been since you and Sarah got into your stupid fight. We haven't been to a party together since summer started.”

You laugh along quietly, agreeing that the fight currently going on between the two girls is pretty stupid. It's always been your family, with the extension of Kiara, and the Camerons, with the extension of Sarah's cousin, Roman. Rafe and Nicky were both 17, while you, Kie, Sarah, and Roman were all either 16 or going to be this year. Your families vacationed together for years, every holiday is celebrated in one of your families expensive backyards, Ward and your father even conduct business together. So it's safe to say, nobody expected Kie and Sarah's little fight to go on this long.

"Shut up. Don't even get me started. Sarah is a fucking bitch." Kiara huffs and puts her feet up on the dash, while pulling a bottle of Titos from under her seat, "Kook party, take a shot Y/N."

Taking the bottle from her extended hand you gulp a good amount before sputtering a little and handing it back.”Fuckin vodka,” You choke out in between small coughs.

You would never admit it but you were a little nervous about going to Kelce's house after skipping out on parties for so long and it wasn't because of Kie and Sarahs drama. You were avoiding a certain kook prince, but you were nervous about him catching on, and admittedly you missed him, so when Kie invited you you thought fuck it. What's the worst that could happen?

You guys sang along to Rihanna and talked shit about some of your classmates on the 10 or so minute drive. Pulling onto the designated street, there were cars everywhere and music could be heard playing loudly from Kelce's backyard. Kie looks at you and Nicky out of the corner of her eye, "I may or may not have invited the pogues..."

"Kie!" you both yell at the same time. Nicky huffs in his seat as he pulls into an open spot by the treeline, "Nothing could go wrong at all, great idea." he says sarcastically.

"What? They're my friends, I thought it could be fun."

You and your older brother were friendly with Kie’s friends, but you knew that JJ had a penchant for fighting. And with Rafe and his friends being the way that they are, it doesn't always go well when they party together.

"Fuck it, we're already here. Can we just have fun? Please." The last thing you want is more drama, your first night back out. She smiles at you and you guys hop out and make your way onto the lawn. You link your arm with Kiaras and walk into the crowded party with Nicky trailing behind you. Kie drags you towards the kitchen as you pass classmates, tourons, and pogues. Nobody cares about all the classist shit when they're drunk apparently. It was always fucking stupid to you, anyways.

When the two of you make it to the large kitchen, you find Rafe, Topper, Kelce, Roman, Barry and his brother Peter. as well as a multitude of cocaine, girls, and random kids playing bartender to their friends.

You watch as Rafe gives one of the girls you recognize as a soon-to-be junior a bump and you watch as his eyes scan the growing presence in the room, noticing you. "Ayo! Y/N, Kie! Whaddup?"

Kie simply gives him a sarcastic smile and walks over to one of the kids in her volunteer group, who's currently making some legitimate looking drinks. You raise an eyebrow making a mental note to ask him to make you one. "Hey guys, what's up?". You warily eye the drugs carelessly spread out on the counter as you approach the guys. Roman looks up from his phone and catches your eye, you give a shy smile as he rushes you.

"Where the fuck have you been, Y/N/N? You abandoned me." He clutches his chest playfully before lifting you to sit on the counter and smirking down at you. You and Roman have always had a great relationship, albeit a bit closer than most normal friends, but he's someone you would consider a best friend. As of a few weeks ago he was your first kiss, although he was unaware of that detail, after a very emotional night of talking shit about your parents while drinking their wine on their yacht. When Rafe and Nicky nearly caught you both making out, Roman acted like nothing happened. So you did too.

"I've been around, Godfrey."

He smiles and pecks your forehead before turning around to go get you a drink. "Well," He drags out the word, "we have some catching up to do, kid."

Kelce gives you a fist bump on the way out of the kitchen and Topper just gives you a head nod. "Where's Nicky?"

You look towards the doorway you entered from and shrug, "He was right behind us, he probably met a girl or something." Topper hums in response.

Barry whistles, “That's what I need to be doin, really.” Peter nods along. “Whatchu doin’ later, Y/N/N?”

You start to laugh just as Rafe loudly and distastefully snorts a line and groans. You wrinkle your nose as he tips his head back, relishing in his high. "Jesus Christ, Rafe”.

"You want some, Pretty Girl?"

You’re staring at him like he grew another head when Roman places a red solo cup in your hand. Kie, with her own drink in hand hops up on the counter next to you, "If you ever give my cousin that shit, i'll fucking hurt you."

"Y/N's a good girl, she wouldn't do that. Wouldn't wanna disappoint daddy dearest." Topper teases and Rafe barks out a laugh. There's a familiar pang in your chest at the mention of your father and you roll your eyes. This doesn't go unnoticed by Roman. "Leave her alone, man.” then his hands are on your knees, "Wanna go kick ass in some pong?". He looks at you and you nod, downing the drink you'd been sipping slowly, " I'm down, but first let's do some shots."

Two and a half hours later, with three successful games of beer pong under your belt and feeling quite significantly drunk, you make your way back inside to pee. Navigating your way through the crowded house and up the stairs you enter the bathroom and lock the door.

While you pee, you drunkenly think about how crazy it is that everyone was getting along tonight. Seeing Rafe and JJ on the same pong team threw you for a fucking loop, even if they were both extremely wasted. You also kind of wish you had a blunt or something.

After you wash your hands, check yourself out in the mirror and fluff your hair a bit, you stumble towards the door and into the hallway. None other than Roman is standing at the door to your left making out with a pretty blonde, fumbling with the doorknob of the door he has her pressed against. Furrowing your eyebrows and quickly making your way past them, you try to ignore the hurt bubbling in your chest. "I think that one's locked, genius." You say of Kelce's grandmother's room, that he usually always locks when there's guests over. You don't bother looking back at them.

Deciding you need fresh air, you find yourself out on the front porch which is a lot less packed than the backyard. You sit on the steps and watch a group of freshman boys prepare to light a huge firework on the lawn. The warm summer breeze felt nice, despite how dark it had gotten. You pull your phone out of your bag and look at the time. 11:37 PM. You look up when you hear a sizzling type of noise to see the firework, sitting up and it's been lit. The boys are backing up and smacking each other on the arms as they hype themselves up for the explosion. It makes you smile but at the last second it tips over and your smile drops. The firework shoots and explodes directly at Rafe Camerons truck, shattering the front passenger window and from what you can see the side mirror all over the seat and the ground.

They're fucked, and its time to go. There's no way you're dealing with Rafe potentially blaming you for not watching his car. You stand up and grimace as they start freaking out, and people are already making their way outside to see what happened. You walk back up the steps and call your brother from the porch to let him know you're ready to go but there's no answer. You're about to call him again when someone taps your shoulder.

"Hey Y/N.." You whip around and see Sarah standing in the doorway with a bottle of tequila. She holds it up so you put your phone away and grab it.

"Hey, Sar. Having fun?" You take a couple huge gulps and regret it almost instantly, when it burns the ever loving fuck out of your throat.

"It'd be more fun if everyone wasn't pissed at me." She smiles sadly. She knows she messed up by not inviting Kie to her birthday party. "I know I’m kind of a mess lately."

You both laugh. "Well for what it's worth, I'm not mad at you. I do think you and Kiara should talk though."

"That'd be easier to do if she didn't glare at me everytime we make eye contact but I deserve it, so I'm gonna try anyway. I really miss you guys." She says the last part so quietly while averting her gaze to the floor. You can't help pulling her into a soft hug. “I miss you too, Sar. Kie’s stubborn ass probably does too.”

You recap the bottle and hand it to her, trying to empathise. Kiara was your family, and you guys were close, but you all grew up together and you were close with Sarah too. It was such a stupid fight but the underlying issue was serious to both of them. You give her a small smile.

"So are you leaving soon or something?"

"That was the plan but Dominique did not answer his phone and I don't feel like looking for him."

She nods her head and behind her you see Roman walking down the stairs without his blonde friend, and you drunkenly attempt to duck out of sight of the doorway. You don't feel like seeing him again right now. This little crush you'd been secretly harbouring was not something the group needed, on top of the drama with the girls right now. "Well, if you wanna take my car, you can. I'm probably gonna have to force Rafe to take me home." Sarah continues, oblivious to your train of thought.

Roman appears behind her, having seen you try to hide behind the wall to the side of Sarah. "Y/N cant drive, she doesn't have a licence. And shes fucked up. I'll take her."

You internally cringe at your transparency, "It's fine, really Rome. I can go find Nicky or Kie or someone, seriously." Your words are slightly slurred and you can see that fact register in his eyes.

"Nope," He pops his P and puts an arm around your shoulder to guide you towards the steps. “C'mon, kid."

"Bye guys, Roman be careful!" Sarah calls before dipping back inside, you look back at her helplessly. Fuck. Of course this would happen. Roman's hand grazes your elbow as he guides you down the steps But stops in his tracks when he notices the group gathered around Rafe's truck.

"Hold on love, sit down here." You let him help you sit and stare up at the sky. Roman pulls out his phone and calls Rafe while he berates the group of boys. When Rafe barrels outside with bloodlust very apparent in his energy, you're reminded of just why you didn't want to be here when he saw his truck.

He's screaming at the poor kids and threatening to beat two of the taller kids' asses, by the time Roman comes back for you. He walks with you down the driveway to his black SUV and opens the door for you. Once you take a seat he's manoeuvring the seatbelt over you and clicking it in. "I'm not that drunk Rome, I can buckle myself in." But you let him.

He walks around the car and hops in, pushing the start engine button. "My uncles gonna be so fucking mad." He chuckles.

"It was an accident, I saw it tilt over. I wonder where they even found a firework that big?" you mumble, watching Rafe run his hands over his reddened face in frustration through the window as Roman pulls out of the driveway.

"Idiots."

You push the bluetooth button on his stereo system and connect your phone, looking for something to fill the silence. You settle on Weightless by Chiiild and roll your window down, enjoying the breeze and singing along.

Nights like this you come home with a heavy heart for me

Nights like this an endless kiss is all you really need

Roman glances at you quickly and he sighs almost indecipherably. "Y/N, what's up?"

You hum and look over at him, admiring the wispy strands of hair that fall over his forehead slightly and the perpetual pout on his face. "Nothing, I'm fine. Kinda want a slushie."

He fights his smile as he peeks at you again, "We can get you one but that's not what I'm talking about. You've been like... sad or something lately. Kinda distant."

That's what happens when you like someone who will never like you back, you think to yourself as you avert your gaze to your hands. The agitation you felt seeing him with someone else is slowly creeping back up on you. Usually it was fleeting, you knew that Roman would mess with girls at parties but it never went beyond the night. You found a strange comfort in the fact that he’d been and probably would be one of your closest friends forever. You’d never lose him that way.

You wrack your brain for something to say, "It's just... my parents being gone again, sucks. I'm not sad. I'm just here." Is what you settle on. It's not a total lie.

A frown forms between his eyebrows and he takes his right hand off the wheel to place it on your knee, catching you off guard. You can tell he doesn't completely believe you but his touch erupts a swarm of butterflies in your belly and you draw your knees closer together instinctually. He slows the car to a near stop and pulls into a gas station that's thankfully, still open.

Parking right at the front of the building, he takes his seat belt off and turns his head to look at you. "You know you can tell me anything right?" He gives your knee a small squeeze.

"I know Rome. Doesn't mean I will though." You smirk at him a little and without thinking you reach up and push his hair back so it's off of his forehead. He catches your wrist gently before you can retreat your hand and brings it up to his mouth where he presses a kiss to your palm.

"You comin?" He asks, you pout and shake your head. "What flavour do you want, mm?"

"Green apple, please."

He gives you a little mock salute and gets out of the car, heading inside.

In the quiet of the car you get a little lost in thought. How are you supposed to keep up this little unspoken secret with Roman, when he knows you so well? He knows you too well to believe your bullshit when you claim you're fine. And lately that's been a lot. When you guys kissed, you assumed it was fueled by teenage hormones, too much to drink, and overall poor decision making. But now it seems more like he just felt bad for you while, for you, it was a genuine first experience. It's not everyday you admit that your picture perfect life isn't so picture perfect.

You'd been home alone, yet again, sitting on one of the small couches on your fathers yacht when he showed up, pissed at his mom. You two ended up criss-cross applesauce across from each other, passing a bottle of wine back and forth, just absolutely bitching about your parents. He told you how his mom was a psychotic alcoholic, obsessed with having control (which you sort of already knew) and you'd told him how your parents were hardly ever home lately, leaving you and Nicky to your own devices. You missed your parents constantly and you felt abandoned. It hurt, and he understood you.

Tears were pooling in your eyes by the time you finished venting when Roman gently cupped your face in his hand. "Hey, don't cry, Y/N. They may not be here right now but I am, I'll always be here. I promise you. Okay?" He stroked your cheek with his thumb as you stared back into his hazy green eyes, your breath catching in your throat. Roman was always sweet to you, but never in such an intimate way. You glanced down at his lips, which he noticed. He never planned on kissing you, yet he couldn't help himself as he leaned in and delicately pressed his lips to yours, testing the waters. The kiss left you breathless and when you pulled apart he pressed his forehead against yours. "Was that... okay?"

You nodded wordlessly, a little bit in shock. Part of you was screaming that you were crossing a line, and part of you was mesmerised by the feeling of someone else's lips on yours for the first time. Roman sighed in relief and kissed you again, harder this time, more fervent. He unknowingly taught you how to make out. You'd tried something with your tongue and he'd made a noise in the back of his throat that was so enthralling you'd do anything to hear it again. Too, soon you heard the telltale engine of Rafe's truck and you broke apart, albeit awkwardly. He never brought it up, so you never brought it up.

The sound of the car door opening interrupts your thoughts, you didn't even see Roman exit the store, too lost in thought. He holds out a cup full of frozen green ice and you take it with a smile. "For the princess."

"Thanks Ro."

He sets a bag of swishers on the floor by your feet as you remove the lid on your drink and use the bottom of your straw to scoop the slushie up and into your mouth. He puts the car in reverse and backs up.

Continuing the short drive to your house, you sing along to whatever song shuffle picked.

When he pulls into your yard and shuts off the car, he turns to you. "Hey, is it cool if I stay over? My moms being a bitch right now."

"You know you can, I don't know why you're asking." You speak through a mouth full of slush while simultaneously unbuckling your seat belt. He mutters something about manners and snatches the bag off of the floor.

You walk up to the porch and Alex, another one of your dads goons, gives you a look as he unlocks the door for you. "What?" You ask when you get to the last step.

"Nothing..." He avoids looking directly at you or Roman. "... just feel like your dad wouldn't appreciate me letting a boy in this late."

"Well good thing hes never fucking here, huh?" you huff as you brush past him to go inside. Roman follows you silently. You turn the entryway light on, just as Alex shuts the door behind you and Roman. "Who the fuck does that guy think he is?"

You glance at Roman as you head to the kitchen, "He's such a dick rider, but he won't actually say anything to my dad."

"But he's just, like security right? Why does he care."

You shrug as you approach the kitchen doorway. Just then the bedroom door next to you opens, and Giselle peeks her head out, eyes wide and red. "Y/N!" and then she sees Roman behind you and squeals. "Roman!! How was the party you guys?"

Roman shoots her a dazzling smile and goes to hug her. "Hey Giz." She slaps his arm. "Stop calling me that, you jerk. Its disgusting."

"The party was fine." you scrunch your nose a bit, "Giselle are you high, right now?"

Romans head whips up, "Holy shit. You look blasted!" He laughs. She has a bashful look on her face as she backs up into her bedroom. "Shut up, both of you. Bring me some water please, thanks." She shuts the door before either of you can say anything. You both giggle at her behaviour and stumble into the kitchen where Roman puts the rest of your slushee in the refrigerator. You get three glasses out of the cupboard and fill them with water from the fridge, Roman delivers Giselle her glass before coming to stand across from you against the counter. He downs his glass in one go and watches you sip yours.

"That's so hot, you really take your time with it, huh?" He teases.

You laugh quietly against your glass. "Wanna watch a movie?"

"Only if you let me pick. I'm not watching Clueless again." He deadpans. "Fine."

He gives you a smug look and you take his glass and place them both in the sink. He grabs you by the hip in one hand and a tupperware full of cookies that Giselle must have made in the other and pushes you towards the stairs.

When you get to your room you immediately go for an oversized shirt and sleep shorts. "Do you want me to get you some of Nicky's shorts?" He knows you hate outside clothes on your bed.

"Nah, s'cool." He pulls his shirt over head and winks at you, sending a flush of heat up your neck to your cheeks. You've seen him shirtless countless times, but only recently have you begun wondering what his abs would feel like against your skin. His hands go for his belt and you turn towards your ensuite bathroom muttering about how extra he is. After you change, you brush your teeth and wash your face, thinking about what you and Roman could do tomorrow.

When you open the door, you smell two things - weed and sugar cookies. Roman is standing in just his boxers, in front of your television looking for a film to watch, eating a cookie with a blunt tucked behind his ear. You can't help the small laugh that escapes you, your heart swells at the sight of the boy you adore.

He turns when he hears you. "I rolled a blunt, and we're watching Barbarian." He says, finishing his cookie.

You smooth down your hair and sit on your bed. "This is why you're my favourite. Wanna open the door?" Gesturing towards the balcony doors. He does so and lights the tip of the blunt using the flame of a candle that's sitting by the window. He places an ashtray on the bedside table and sits next to you on the bed so you're shoulder to shoulder. You play the movie and take the blunt when he offers it.

You pass it back and forth and when you refuse it after your third hit, he puts it out and wraps his arms around you leaning back so you're both laying propped up against all of your pillows.

"So what the fuck, shes just gonna sleep in the house with this creepy ass dude?"

"I would too, he's hot."

"Seriously?"

You tilt your head slightly, "Wait, no, you guys could actually be twins." You look between the character on screen and Roman. "That's so weird! He's like an older version of you."

He raises an eyebrow with a shit eating grin. "So youre saying I'm hot?"

"This is why I don't compliment you anymore."

The movie slowly got eerier until it was straight up terrifying. You hid your face in Romans chest, multiple times, and at some point began drifting off into a dreamless sleep. Roman glances at you as your breathing evens out, smiling to himself at the sight of you falling asleep against him. He turned your tv off and buried his face in your hair, sighing contentedly as he got comfortable and allowed himself to sleep. Feeling safe.

You went to sleep peacefully, comfortably but your morning has been anything but.

Your parents got home a day earlier than expected, arriving at about 7 am. Your mom decided to come wake you, as they stopped and brought breakfast, but she was not expecting to find you tangled up in bed with your basically naked best friend. She proceeded to freak out, waking up Giselle and Nicky in the process.

There's so many reasons why this is a nightmare. For starters, your father has barred you from boys. He would prevent you from dating forever if he could. He's very adamant about his only daughter remaining virtuous and focusing on getting into Columbia rather than boys. And to make matters worse he actually likes Roman. Not to mention your mom has been friends with Romans mom since their sorority days, and lastly your parents didn't know that you smoke weed...until today.

That brings you to the family room where you've been arguing with your mom for 30 minutes, while your dad sits in an armchair subtly giving Roman dirty looks and occasionally pinching the bridge of his nose. And Roman, well, Roman is sitting on the couch with a hand in his hair staring dejectedly at the ground, genuinely upset that he was the cause of your family drama today.

“Mom! I said It wasn't like that. Roman drove me home. We were watching a movie and fell asleep.”

“Y/N, this isn't just about the fact that I found Roman in there. This is about rules being broken and secrets being kept!” Your mother bites back.

Your dad stands up from his chair and crosses his arms, "And since when the fuck do either of you smoke weed? And in the house, Y/N, you smoked it in your room." He runs a hand over his face, " I don't understand why you would do this."

“That was actually me. I- uh. I mean it was mine.” Your parents gape at Roman.

“Roman, I think it's best if you head home, your mother will be expecting you.” Your dad states, wanting to get you alone so he can pry you for information without making the situation more uncomfortable. You sit down at the couch and bury your head in your hands, mortified. “I'll talk to you about this another time.”

Roman stands quickly and goes to give you a hug but the look on your dads face has him stuttering instead, “I'm so sorry, about all of this and especially the weed, but shes telling the truth.” He looks at you and back to your parents, “Um - I'm gonna go now.”

“Bye Rome.” You whisper, he gives you one last sheepish look before he's out of the door. “Y/N, I'm so disappointed.” Your dad starts. The words make something inside you ache. "I’m only gonna ask you this once, are you fooling around with Roman?”

“No! Dad, oh my god.” You shout and stop to take a deep breath. “He's my best friend, he sees me as like a sister or like Sarah, dad, you know that.” He lets out a heavy sigh. He knows what your friendship with every boy in your circle is like. Hes made it abundantly clear that you're off limits.

Your mother shakes her head at you and you roll your eyes at her. She sometimes overreacts when you get in trouble, being the only girl, she holds you to a higher standard than your brothers. “You're grounded. For a month.” Your mouth drops open but when your dad tilts his head, you know, he'll be talking to her about inflicting such a harsh punishment later.

“Dad! What the hell! Are you going to say anything?”

“Listen, I believe you about Roman, but honey,” he tsks, “There's rules. You were smoking weed in your room and you had a boy sleeping in your bed when we got home.”

“Yeah well, It's not like you're ever here anymore to enforce those rules.” Your dads face softens. “Y/N-” You stand up abruptly.

“I'm going to my room, I accept my punishment.” you say as you beeline out of the room. They let you go, thankfully.

As you pass the kitchen you see Giselle, Nicky, and your younger siblings, Henley and Patton, all eating breakfast silently, having heard the argument. Everyone but Nicky casts you a glance as you walk past. Great, you think, he's probably pissed at me too. You run up the stairs and shut your door a little harder than necessary.

It's around dinner time when you look up from your toes, that you're currently painting baby pink. Your phone is buzzing on your bed and you reach up, hand fumbling around until you feel it.

Romeo: what's the damage?

You immediately text him back, glad he's not upset with you.

Y/N/N: Im grounded for a month, you?

Romeo: A month???

Fuck, thats brutal. Im sorry.

She called me an idiot among other things, nothing serious

Y/N/N: I'm sorry too, that was so stupid

You see him start to type, and then stop. After two minutes of watching the screen you groan and throw your phone onto a pile of clothes across the room. As you are about to finish painting your toes, there's a gentle knock on your bedroom door and it cracks open before you can respond.

Your mom pokes her head inside,”Honey, can I come in.”

You shrug in response, picking your nail polish back up. She comes inside and shuts the door. Sitting across from you on your plush pink rug. “Listen, the way that I handled the situation earlier... I'm sorry. I could have handled it better.” You peek up at her, letting her know you're listening but still upset. “I think it's just scary - for me and your dad. To see our little girl growing up. Being a parent is hard, baby, and we have four of you... but I might have overreacted a bit. I'm sorry that we haven't been around very much. There's been bad business going on in Mexico. But that's for us to worry about, we absolutely will try to be home more. I promise.”

You give her a small smile, “Okay mom.”

She smiles brightly back at you, ”We’re okay?”With arms out silently asking for a hug. You embrace her and she squeezes you tightly. “Oh, and you aren’t grounded -”.

You squeal, rocking you both back and forth.

“- But I swear to baby Jesus, child, If I ever find a boy or weed in here again, I'm locking you in the cellar.”

“Deal.”

She kisses you atop your head and stands up to go,” Dinners gonna be ready in 15.” “Kay,” You're already up, going for your phone.

Y/N/N: Im ungrounded

Roman responds right away this time

Romeo: Can you come to Tanneyhill with Nicky?

After eating dinner and a lot of convincing, you and Nicky pull up to Tanneyhill with a bottle of Crown, he swiped from the cellar. It turns out he wasn't actually mad at all. He told you that he knew Roman didn't see you like that and that our parents were mistaken. Verbatim. Which, honestly kind of stung but you'd take that over him being pissed. Roman was one of his best friends too, after all.

When you guys get to the backyard, everyones in the hot tub. Only Topper, Roman, Rafe, Sarah, and a couple of other girls from school are here. Topper and Rafe are clearly tipsy already, as they're belting the lyrics to some party song that's playing over the big speakers. Roman whispers something in Mia Brown's ear and you can't help the fleeting jealousy that washes over you as she bats her eyes at him and laughs.

“Y/N/N! Come get in.” Sarah whoops when she sees you. He looks over at you with a smile as you and Nicky approach.

“Hey guys.” you say as you set your bag down on a lounge chair and go to take your shorts off.

“Brought the good shit,” Your brother passes the bottle to Rafe who has his arm outstretched. “Thats what the fuck I'm talkin about, bro.”.

After you undress, Rafe offers you his hand to help you step inside the hot tub, your brother following. One girl, whose name you don't remember, gives you a once over from your place between Nicky and Rafe. “So Y/N,” she starts, and you nod, ”We’re talking about midsummers. It's the best time to pop out with your boo before school starts. Who’s your date?”

At that everyone looks at you. Nicky laughs, ”She isn't gonna have a date, are you kidding? My dad would lose his fucking mind.”

“Shut up, I can do whatever I want.”

He scoffs, “No, you can't.”

The girl just smirks and moves so she's sitting next to your brother instead of Topper.

You roll your eyes. “Whatever, Nicky. At least I’m not a suck up.”

Rafe chuckles and holds his hand out for a high five, to which you smile and oblige. He taps your chin “Open up.”

You allow him to pour not one, but two shots into your mouth.

A couple hours later and everyone is pretty fucked up. One of the girls went inside with Nicky an hour ago, Toppers passed out on a lounge chair while Roman, Mia, And Sarah, switched to the pool for a night swim. That leaves you and Rafe in the hot tub alone.

You glance over at the pool just as Roman plants a messy, drunken kiss on Mias lips. They start making out and you and Sarah let out identical groans, although yours is nearly silent. Rafe glances at you and follows your eyes to see what you're looking at and when he does, he smirks to himself.

Sarah pulls herself out of the pool. “Get a freaking room.”

Roman pulls away from the petite brunette in front of him. “That's a great idea. Mia, my room?”

Your heart rate picks up and you look away from the pair. You knew Roman messed around with girls, but you didn't expect him to ever be so casual about it around you, given the kiss you two shared. You think about this morning, how your parents embarrassed you to the point that he would probably never look at you in the way that you did him. As the trio head inside, you start to stand, wanting to lock yourself in a guest room and mope yourself to sleep.

“Hey, don't leave.” Rafe whines across from you. “I don't wanna stay out here alone, and it's only like 9. Want a shot?”

You absolutely want a shot. “Fuck, please.” You sit back down and watch as he leans his torso over the edge of the hot tub and swipes a bottle of vodka off of the bar top.

Turning back around he beckons you with a finger. “Come here, beautiful.”

It didn't surprise you to hear him call you this. Rafe has always been blatant like that. Not just with you, he has pet names on a constant loop, probably because he can never remember the names of the girls he messes with.

What shocks the shit out of you is when you’re directly in front of him waiting for him to pour a shot in your mouth but he sets the bottle down, grabs your thighs and pulls you onto his lap so you're straddling him in the warm water. You gasp, feeling him hard, against you.

You pull away slightly. “Rafe, what the fuck?”

He picks the bottle back up keeping you close to him with an arm around your back, hand resting between your shoulder blades. “Y/N/N, it's fine. Just gonna give you a shot, yeah?” He looks at you expectantly and in your stupor you just open your mouth. After one shot, he holds it back up so he can give you another. Grimacing at the taste you wipe your mouth while he takes two shots of his own.

Setting it back down out of the way, he rests his hand on your thigh, gripping it. “You look really fucking sexy right now, Y/N/N.” He admires your body on top of his with his piercing blue eyes and wets his bottom lip with his tongue.

You get this warm feeling in your belly, and then it spreads. No one had ever said that to your face before. “Yeah?” You giggle a bit when your words are slightly slurred. ”You always do too, Rafe.”

He raises his eyebrows,” Yeah? I didn't know you thought that”.

“I would've never told you unless it was under these exact circumstances, so...”

He mulls that over. “That's fair enough.” And then, “I heard you fucked Roman.”

You look at him incredulously and push yourself back, off of his lap completely, “What?”

He puts his hands up, “My bad, I was just gonna ask If it bothered you that hes fucking Mia right now, the same day.” Your jaw drops and you scoff as you feel your eyes start to fill up with hot tears.

“Youre so fucking rude. No, I didnt fuck him and no I dont care.” The thought of people gossiping about what happened, on the same day it happened, sends fear through your gut.

“Then why are you crying?” He points out as a single tear falls, your heart betraying your desire to keep your feelings at bay.

“Fuck you, Rafe.” You start to get out of the hot tub but this time he stands up and snatches you up, depositing you back on his lap. “Stop, I didn't say it to be mean, okay?” You push at him but you're nearly full on crying at this point and very tipsy. “Y/N, I’m sorry. I just meant that my cousin, is a fucking Idiot.”

You give up on getting out of his lap, sniffling and running a hand through your curls.

“It's not his fault, Rafe. Nothing even happened, my parents are just insane.” You meet his calm gaze with your tearful one. He brings one hand from around you to wipe under your eyes.

“That's not what I'm talking about, Y/N.” His hand finds your waist again and he leans back slightly to look at you, “I think he's an idiot for not seeing how special you are.”

“W- what?” You wrinkle your nose. You never thought you’d hear Rafe say something so... sweet to you.

“Roman told me what happened on your dads boat.”

Your heart jumps into your throat. “He did?” You whisper. Rafe nods slowly, studying you.

“What did he say?”

“Honestly, a bunch of bullshit. Y’know, he was just rambling about it ruining the group and shit. I honestly expected you two to get together, anyway. But like I said he’s an idiot. Doesnt know a good thing when he sees it. You deserve better.”

You examine Rafes face to see if this is just a mean joke, but you only find a genuine expression. Something more, in his eyes that you can't decipher. You sigh, deciding to just accept what he said. Roman clearly didn't care or didnt remember the kiss and wasn't going to acknowledge it anytime soon. So neither will you. Roman was inside probably fucking someone else, So maybe you will too.

You hesitantly drape your arms around his shoulders, “Show me better.” You whisper.

Rafes eyes widened slightly, as if he didn't expect you to agree with him, let alone say that. “I- Y/N, how? What do you want?”

You testingly grind yourself against him, rolling your hips down. And when you do it again, he moans at the feeling of you pressed against him. “Shit, baby.” Your mouth opens in a silent gasp as he returns one hand to the centre of your back to keep you close and uses the hand on your hip to move you against him again, harder. You don't even have time to process the fact that you’re basically dry humping your childhood friend in his hot tub before Rafe begins pushing you back and forth over his dick faster, both of you letting out the filthiest moans as he watches your face.

“Look at me baby.”

You look down at him, trying to control the feeling building up in your lower belly and he places a hand in your hair, pulling you to connect his mouth with yours. There are no similarities between the way he and Roman kiss. While Roman kissed you sweetly, and let you take it slow, Rafe dominated the kiss. It was all tongue and lip bites, while you mewled against him from the pressure of his clothed erection against your clit. This was by far the hottest thing you'd ever done with any boy.

He suddenly lets go of your hair, breaking away from the messy kiss. He glances down at the space between you and suddenly his thumb is rubbing circles against your clit and you’re crying out his name.

“Rafe! Fu- oh shit.” At this point you're digging your nails into his shoulder and rocking your hips against him, like a bitch in heat while he watches you in awe.

“Yeah, baby girl, you like that?” He sucks a hickey onto your neck and peppers it with soft kisses as he draws you closer to your release with his fingers and his mouth.

“Yes, please don't stop. Feels so good.” You can feel yourself hitting a pinnacle and you let out a strangled sound, and your stomach clenches as you try to contain your orgasm.

“Let go, give me all that stress, Y/N. Cum for me.”

His lust laden voice sends you over the edge and you drop your forehead onto his and let your eyes flutter shut as you cum in your bikini on top of Rafe, with raw moans spilling past your lips. He still rubs your clit and you feel your pussy fluttering around nothing while you come down from the most intense 15 seconds of your life.

When you open your eyes Rafes is already looking at you, lightly stroking your back. The eye contact makes you both grin and he breaks the quiet moment. “Was that.. your first time doing that?” You shake your head no, still trying to catch your breath. “Dont lie to me, Y/N.”

Smiling, you sit back a bit, “So what if it was? I told you I can do whatever I want.”

Rafe smirks at you. “Yes you can, princess.”, He stands up with you abruptly and carries you out of the water, towards the back door to the house while you laugh. “You're sleeping in my room with me tonight, gorgeous girl.”

[ailendolin]

Hello!

Fellow Ghosts fan here! Love your ghosts work and your writing! It's really good!

I'm wondering if you got some more thoughts on the german ghosts? Like when you wrote "love-hungry poet" Friedrich Dorn has a crush on Felix instead of Emma.

Hello fellow Ghosts fan! Thank you so much for your ask and your kind words about my writing! I do indeed have more thoughts on the German ghosts! Bear in mind, they're based on nothing more than a promo picture and short press release so most of them will probably end up being quite wrong.

Joachim strikes me as gentler version of Julian. I think it’s likely he died under similar circumstances – although the lighting in the promo pic almost makes it look like his suit jacket is dirty so maybe he had a tryst outside? It’s also possible something else got him killed (maybe he got mugged?). Anyway, I love that he looks like a typical German guy from the 80s – they really nailed that. If it turns out he has a kid like Julian, I really hope we will see him/her visit German Button House one day.

I wouldn’t be surprised if Richard Dorn declares Schiller, Goethe, Kleist or any other German poet of his time his mortal enemy. Maybe even all of them. As I’ve mentioned before, I’d love to see a twist on the romance plot with him going after Felix instead of Emma (and I really wouldn’t mind him eventually realising that Claudius is right there …). It looks like he got shot just like Thomas so I wonder if we’re going to see another heart-breaking duel, treacherous cousin included.

Adelheid, just like Fanny and Hetty, will probably end up becoming one of my favourites. Her costume doesn’t tell us much but the feather in her hair and fancy dress suggests she didn’t die getting ready for bed. Personally, I'd put a spin on her character by her having an affair with her maid (or the gardener/butler, I suppose) rather than her husband being the one who cheated. It won’t happen like that but I think it’d be a fun way to shake things up.

Now, Claudius I’m already in love with. I was hoping for a Roman character when I made my own German version and I’m glad we’re getting one. Interestingly, Claudius is wearing his helmet and armour and seems to have his sword on him as well but doesn’t look like he’s actually been in a battle – perhaps he died on the eve of one? Since he's based on the Captain, Claudius might very well be gay. Perhaps he had a lover in the army or at home – or he fell in love with the enemy (maybe he drank poison before battle so he wouldn't have to fight his lover). I’d like to think showing emotions is difficult for him (hence why Richard doesn't realise he likes him) and that he speaks Latin when he gets emotional.

Griet is going to be so awesome. I mentioned before that she seems to be the lovechild of Mary and Annie based on her looks and feminist personality, and I am very much here for that. She’s not going to be someone you want to cross and I can very well imagine her being the one who establishes some order in the house. I want her and Adelheid to become besties and the others to be a little scared of her.

Urs gives me younger Robin vibes - by which I mean he comes off as a happier, more naïve and innocent version of Robin. That’s obviously just a first expression based on a single picture but I can see him looking at the world around him in childlike wonder whereas Robin was more sad and jaded. I want him to be curious about the world, about technology (in the sense of wanting to learn and calling the cables worms and cameras metal cows like Mary), and smile in true delight when he sees a butterfly – basically a mix of Robin and a toned down version of Kitty.

Svenni being described as a teacher is really interesting. She gives off elementary school teacher vibes and I would honestly love to see her try to wrangle the ghosts like she would 6-10 year old pupils. That’s bound to be hilarious. She’s not a scout so she probably was on a school trip with her class when she got her arrow. I wonder if she has kids of her own. She doesn’t strike me as a mum which is why I think the “child comes to Button House” storyline would work better with Joachim. I feel like she might be one of those “still waters run deep” characters and will surprise us. I can also really see her bonding with Emma.

I don’t have many thoughts on Emma and Felix yet but one thing I love about them in the promo picture is how done both of them already look. They’ve probably been at the house for only a few weeks and are clearly already fed up with the ghostly shenanigans. I also love how normal they both look. No fancy clothes, no fancy make-up – just two ordinary young people who are in way over their heads.

And finally, the House. Because of Claudius’s presence, I think it will be located somewhere in Western Germany. From the promo picture, it gives off the same vibes as Button House with the large, dark red room, the windows to the right and the wallpaper peeling off the walls. According to the press release, Emma and Felix are planning to turn it into a hotel, and while I hope they will succeed where Alison and Mike failed, I don’t want them to have it as easy as Jay and Sam had it in the US version. I want them to struggle for a few series (insert wishful thinking that it will have more than one series here) and at the very end, finally open their hotel.

That's all I have for now. I'd love to hear your thoughts (and everyone else's) as well!

[papaver-decervicatus]

Headcanons- Enzo Reyes

Hello everyone! I am still swamped with college work but I wanted to post something so here's a little HC page I have had brewing for a while. Expect Rudy and Nova's soon! Also, I have discovered I absolutely love Reyes, and it's a shame he gets so forgotten about. God, I love a strong nose on a person, fan-freaking-tastic. Cura Ut Veleas! ~ Ceadis

Born November 13th, 1987, in Regina, Canada.

His parents were never married and had a contentious co-parenting relationship throughout his life

He moved with his mother to Alberta when he was 7, so he mostly saw his father over breaks and such

He is ¼ Tsuut'ina on his father's side (his father is half Tsuut'ina and half Spanish,) the two bonded over trapping and hunting. When he’s home, he will stay with his cousins on the reserve to go hunting with them.

Complex relationship with eating meat: believes you should only hunt/kill an animal ethically and for sustenance. Morally opposed to food waste. 

Can skin a deer in record time and not waste any meat/material from it. 

Complicated relationship with Catholicism, but both his mother and father are, at least partially, Roman Catholic.

Both of his parents married others, he has a year older step-sister on his father's side and two younger half-brothers (3 years younger and 5 years younger) on his mother's side. 

At age 13 he got into a massive fight with his mother over something silly (he forgot to turn in a take-home math quiz,) so he hitchhiked his way to his father over the course of 5 days. This is when he picked up his forgery skills from a truck driver he got a ride with. 

He accidentally evaded the police who were searching for him until he showed up at his father's house unharmed. 

Extremely proficient in hunting tracking and forgery. 

More than anything the police were just impressed he evaded them so well once he was delivered home safely. Was recommended to join the military by one of the deputies that brought him home. 

His first language was French (his mother speaks mostly French), second was Spanish (under his father.) Didn’t speak any English until he was 6 or so. Barely speaks French anymore unless with his mom. Is still fluent in Spanish. Also knows minimal Tsuut’ina to communicate while staying with his family that only speaks it. 

Terrible alcohol tolerance, 2 drinks and he’s wasted. 

Incredibly emotionally drunk. 

Chuy once convinced him to watch a nature documentary while drunk. He cried for thirty minutes when a baby seal got eaten by an orca. 

The least braggadocious guy ever, will never volunteer his skills or talk about them. 

That being said, he never backs down from a challenge. Just humbly accepts it and usually wins. 

The only person who can hunt/track a target better than Price.

Price fucking hates it.

Best friends with Chuy. Package deal. 

Enzo is incredibly shy but extroverted, he loves to talk to others and be involved in the action but it’s hard for him to initiate. 

Chuy is confident and introverted and acts as a good barrier for Enzo to feel more comfortable when talking with others. 

They bonded over a love for the outdoors/hunting, Reyes helped Chuy when his rifle broke down one mission and they’ve been besties since.

Has a tendency to talk back, but not out of a challenge to authority, more out of curiosity. 

The “Excuse me teacher, but isn’t it…” kid all grown up and never kicked the habit. 

The biggest nerd ever. Warhammer 40k, DND, wildlife fun facts, doesn’t matter. 

Trivia legend, he’s read a book on just about everything. 

Had to be banned from trivia night because he always wins. 

He always has a pack of waterproof playing cards on him, his favorite is a set he got from the Alberta Airport that have wildlife fun facts on every card.

Did you know that Caribou have 4 chambered stomachs and can swim up to 6 miles an hour?

Reyes did.

Reyes told you.

About 4 times.

This past month alone.

But who's keeping count, really?

Reads over a hundred books a year, easily.

Mostly nonfiction focusing on history, he will write out notes to better remember what he’s read.

Is not opposed to fiction books, but does not typically seek them out. 

Is in a makeshift book club with Gromsko and Nova

It is a poorly kept secret that he will do weapon mods/maintenance in exchange for books, the issue is finding a book he hasn't read yet.

Is on a first-name basis with his hometown's librarians.

Has been working on and off on a Ph.D. in history through an online/long-distance program.

It is about the purposeful destruction of the Canadian governmental records relating to First Nations regiments in the army during the 19th century. The process has been incredibly slow because he works on it remotely and, as stated, many of the records either do not exist or were intentionally destroyed.

Teddy Bear. Gives great hugs, sweetheart of a man, loves to cook for others, and always volunteers to help people. Just generally a great dude. 

This does not extend to his job. 

He doesn’t have a weak stomach when it comes to his work. 

He is ruthless, he is calculated, he is damn good at what he does. 

He gets along well with his comrades, sure, but he’s not letting himself get killed in the field for something stupid. 

Incredibly capable. Do not mistake his affability for weakness.

[lolitastories]

HELPLESS

Description: She worked as a lawyer in New York until she received a phone call from the man she owes her career to. She knew she would be back and what she was in for but what she didn’t know is that her life would change even more than she imagined.

Part 7

Chapter 6:

I avoided doing anything else than what was already on my plate. I didn’t stop by to check on Jamie on his first day. I didn’t try to instigate anything to do with what happened with Tate. The only things I tried focusing on was the trail back home. “How are you doing?”

“Okay. My lawyer pulled a restraining order on him and all of his immediate family” I have been keeping in contact with my cousin. It took her two years to admit she was the one in those rumors. I knew of it back then but it was up to her to tell everyone not me. I didn’t get angry or upset that she didn’t defend me when she heard I left or say something when people were bashing my family for the kind of daughter they raised. I was waiting for more but she didn’t continue.

“What happened?” I heard a slight cry on the other side of the phone. “Sofie what happened?” She had filed a restraining order against the guy two years ago and I didn’t find out until a couple months ago that she dismissed it 4 months later and were still talking. The case continued and when he found out she wouldn’t stop he got aggressive. Didn’t know about that either.

“My lawyer advised me to take the deal. They said if he is put on the list of offenders his lawyer could place me with child endangerment” At the time of the accident she was with a younger family memeber. No evidence was proved to have affected the young child but anything can randomly appear and touch the jurys heart. “The deal agree on the restraining order being removed, the payment of his lawyer fees along with emotional damage” That mother-fucker. “I don’t want to let this go” She whispered. “Please” I knew what she was asking but I only shaked my head, closing my eyes. I can’t. “I know you don’t want to get involved but I need you here, like old times” I can’t, I can’t go back. “Y/N?” I put my attention back on the phone call. “I know I don’t owe you anything after all I did but I need you here, just like I know you need it in your soul to come back and put everything behind you”

“When is the next court date?” I don’t know what I was pulling

myself in. I didn’t only have to face the people who talked and looked my way in a form of disgust but I will also have to face my family. The one I worked so hard to forget and heal from, I could almost see it. I got out of the office early and rushed towards the ranch. “I need a ride” I scream when I see Rip climbing down from his horse.

“Beth is not going to like that” I hit his arm earning a fake groan.

“Not that kind of ride, I need to go see John” Rip laughs

“Well I thought since you never in your life would ask to be on a horse” He shruggs pulling his horse into the stable. “But no can do, you will have to wait til tomorrow” I look over at the direction he was looking and see Beth making her way down the path towards his cabin. “Ask Kaycee” I looked over to where he was pointing. He was getting out of his truck and going into the house. I turn towards him again. “Those eyes always worked but not against the fire in Beth’s” I roll my eyes.

“I hope she burns you” I scream walking out the barn and into the house.

“I didn’t expect you to be here for lunch?” I look over to see Monica in the kitchen. “I can cook something real fast for you, without Tate here I am going crazy not doing anything after school” I smile climbing on to the stool.

“No thank you. I have a long walk ahead of me” She questions me with her look. “I have to talk with John. I am leaving planning to leave for a couple of days”

“Where?”

“Home” I sigh, getting up. “If I leave soon enough I won’t have time to question why” I smile knowing she doesn’t need to know anything about what's going on. I grab some water and head towards the door.

“You can’t go dressed like that” This time I was wearing sneakers but she was right, the clothes were appropriate. Then again I didn’t have anything else. “Am packing since there is no reason for me to stay here so you can borrow some of my clothes”

“It's okay, I can just dirty some old clothes” I watch Monica shake her head, grabbing my arm and pulling towards Tates room where she has been staying.

“I have seen your wardrobe and they are not going to keep you warm enough and comfortable enough to get there and back” I whisper a thank you as I watch her pull out some clothes for me.

“Do I look funny?” I say walking out the bathroom already changed and with her boots on.

“Other than the hair, you no longer look like a city girl” My hair was still down and with curls in place.

“Thank you” I look over to the window and see the sun going down. “I need to go”

“You won’t take a horse?”

“No. Am not afraid of them but I am afraid of falling” I say walking out the door with her following close behind.

“That's why you hold on tight” she smiles as I open the door.

“That would help if I also knew even the first thing in riding one” I wave goodbye before starting my walk down the path. I run miles and walk even more than them so how could this be any different?

Let me tell you. Huge!! Difference. First of all, I am not in a warm facility running in the same spot. I am out in the fields freezing in every inch of my body. Second I am not surrounded by four walls to protect me and in company of people that show to not be harmful. Right now I am currently walking in the middle for everyone to see me. There are creatures here that can tear me to shreds in a second. Why in the hell did I decide to do this while the sun was coming down, down came the temperatures and so did my energy. But I needed to do this today. I was planning to leave in the late morning. I knew this trip was going to take a long time regardless of how I got there.

“Are you crazy!?” I scream, kneeling down to the ground and looking around my surroundings “Y/N?” Of course the not long enough grass wasn’t covering me.

“Kaycee?” The yellow/orange hue of the sun was disappearing so it was hard to see from a distance who it was.

“Monica told me you decide to walk instead of riding” I rolled my eyes about to say something “I know you don’t know how to ride but you could have asked Rip or another cowboy here” I cross my arm as he comes down his horse. “Rip or me” he corrected himself. All the other cowboys were with John. It was nice of him to follow me but when he starts off telling me things I knew I did wrong it reminds me of how mad I am with him. “Where are you going?”

“To see John” I had already turned around and walked away.

“Let me give you a ride, that's why I came here” so nice of you, but no. Stupid. “Stop” I hear him scream from behind. I get startled by the sound of the horse coming closer to cut me off “I said stop!” I look up annoyed

“Just leave, I will get there eventually” I look down, focusing on the horse itself. How scary. In my life I have never been so close to an animal bigger than me. I don’t know what came over me but my hands started reaching out to touch its main. That was until my hands were grabbed and I could no longer feel the ground. “Let me down!” My body was placed over the horse, stomach down.

“You don’t get to pet the horse until you stop being so stubborn” The horse wasn’t going quick but the anxiety in me did.

“Kaycee” I reach over to grab anything not trusting myself to touch the horse in any way that could affect it. The hand he used to hold on to me quickly moved to position me up.

“It’s okay” I was currently facing forwards with his arms wrapped around me for support.

“You’re so stupid” I whisper. I didn’t know if I was shiving because I was cold or how afraid I was right now. The horse continued walking now. My eyes stayed shut as I leaned further back.

“You’re the stupid one. Coming down here alone not even with a horse. You know we have wolves here right?” I nod my head slowly. “These clothes would keep you warm for a while not for a long walk” I nod my head again, taking hold of his hand that he was removing from mine. “ I need to take hold of the reigns”

“Okay” I nod but not noticing I was still holding on to him until he chuckles and stops the horse to get down.

“Slide down” I look down with panic in my eyes. This time I shake my head no and he rolls his eyes. He quickly grabs hold of my waist and pulls me back trying not to alarm the horse. Before I can argue he gets on and my arms instantly wrap around his waist. “Hold on. We need to get there before we freeze out here” I wasn’t listening to him. I was only holding on tight with my eyes closed and pressed up against him. I was afraid. I was afraid of something I could control. The horse I was on I couldn’t control. It could take off and drop us somewhere causing pain. Other things I was afraid of was anything involving me on it or in it that moved on its own. Elevators, cars other people were driving, ferris wheels, hell I was afraid of bridges no matter the length. “I'm sorry” The wind was a distraction but I still heard him. “I told you I would listen and all I didn’t was question you. I had no right”

“Am going back home” Silence fell. “Not because of what you said”

“Of course” I could hear the sense of humor in his voice. “When do you leave?”

“In the morning hopefully” My voice was no longer shaking. “They are having trials. They think they can just settle a deal and be done but I won’t let them. Settling falls more on his favor and that I won’t stand”

“Do you know the person who he did it too?” I nod my head.

“Back then I knew too. I didn’t have the right to say anything”

“But that could’ve changed everything”

“Maybe that's what I wanted. I had a chance to tell them and I was going too until they would let me talk. I thought to myself maybe it's for the best. I wanted to get away for so long. Why not let it run its course?”

“And now you are helping them?”

“She’s family. We might not be a perfect family but we promised that we would be different” We promised we wouldn’t make the same mistakes as our parents. They are all fighting to keep their appearance and be the best. They talk behind eachothers back and the next second hug and talk about how great each of them are. We told eachother we would never be like that. We protect eachother but most importantly listen and understand. Because we know we are not perfect, it's us against everyone else.

[tblsomedoodles]

i feel like we haven't talked about little jones child (their name starts with a j. james... jamie-- fuck it was jackie, i think -- ugh i'll just use gender neutral at this point, anyways) in the context of the dee au a lot

i can absolutely imagine dee and marie coming into their room at like 3am and waking her up like "come gaze our glorious invention" and its just a fucked up roomba looking thing.

they are dragged into testing all of the experiments (often unwillingly!)

maybe in this one they end up as the ninjitsu obsesser in place of marie?

You got it right! Her name is Jackie, the feral little hockey obsessed child. I don't think we talk about her a lot b/c she's quite a bit younger than Dee (where Marie is about 2-3 years younger than Dee, Jackie is 6-7 years younger.) But yeah, i'd imagine they would definitely show off their inventions to Jackie. (and why can i see the two just attaching a paintball gun to a roomba? lol) She doesn't quite get it but some of the things they make does look cool so they get points for that. she also can occasionally convince them to make her cool hockey themed stuff, which she definitely likes.

And i think Marie would still be the one obsessed with Ninjitsu simply because that's still kind of her thing. In Angie's adopted au, the only reason she ignored tech is b/c she thought if she showed an interest in it, she wouldn't be allowed to fight (which is why she became so attached to Donnie in that au.) in Dee's adopted, she's now growing up with a tech guy cousin that's actively getting trained to fight, basically showing her she can do both before it became an issue.

But don't get me wrong, Jackie's still got her own thing. She does learn ninjistu alongside her sister and cousin, but she also does a lot of sports (specifically hockey) and follows her dad in the proud tradition of using sports equipment as weapons.

Thank you!

For sure!

Thank you!

Lol! That's adorable! he wanted to match Blue Plush!

Thank yoU!

Lol! The idea that no one explained to Leon what exactly went on in the apocalypse future, is amusing : ) They were probably more focused on making sure he healed and by the time he was good again, it just slipped their minds.

Thank you!

[ashes-writing-corner]

So I'm back with another set of facts/headcanons for my fantasy/dragon rider AU. This time featuring Soap and his dragon, Andraxys, or just Draxys (Drax) for short!

Soap and Draxys

Soap

1. One of the younger riders, only Gaz is younger than him.

2. Came to the kingdom of Athana after hearing they had dragons, was not ready or even thinking of the responsibility that came with being a Rider! Really just wanted one cause it seemed cool at the time.

3. Was orphaned at a young age, grew up surrounded by gangs and in child/teen gangs himself.

4. Joined the Athanian military as both a soldier and a translator, as he seems to have an uncanny knack for picking up other languages (he actually speaks six already).

5. Does translations as a form of meditation. Still does this for fun, but finds flying to be far more meditative.

6. THIS. MAN. LOVES. TO. FLY!!!!! I cannot emphasize this enough. Johnny spends more time on dragon back than anyone in the 141st. He loves the thrill, and likes to do over the top tricks to awe people.

7. When he first came to Dragon's Keep, he wasn't sure which dragon he wanted until he laid eyes on Andraxys, who'd been riderless for about twenty years at that point. Soap thinks Andraxys is the most beautiful of his kind, and made it his goal to claim the less than willing beast...

8. Johnny won Andraxys over through food. He'd bring the best sheep to the keep to feed him, much to Ghost's annoyance (as Dragon Keeper its his job to feed them and provide for the dragons).

9. Soap feels, at first, like Ghost is too uptight, too strict in his own way. However, he does come to learn, understand, and respect why he is that way. The two become best friends through mutual understanding.

10. Likes to race Ghost and Brightfire over the kingdom, still doing his crazy tricks and showing off. This always gets a playful eye roll from his bestie.

Andraxys

1. Only had 1 other rider than Johnny, but it was short lived. Didn't want a rider after losing his first, and grew bitter towards humans after the loss. Has mentioned that he wants Johnny to be his last Rider.

2. Is considered one of Ghost's "cousins", and they're relatively protective of each other.

3. Is a younger dragon, probably about 50 years old, younger than 60 definitely.

4. Known as the Sky Pearl for his gorgeous, pearl like coloring. His flame is mostly white with veins of pastel blue, purple, and green.

5. Refuses to wear anything close to a saddle or a harness, so his riders have to wear protective gear for themselves cause his scales are sharper than most other dragons.

6. Has a deadly serious dislike for Graves' dragon, and well, Graves in general. Vera took off one of Draxys' horns while Graves keeps it as a trophy. The two have to be kept separate in the Keep, or there's going to be a blood bath.

7. At first thought Johnny MacTavish was an absolute nuisance, and he wasn't entirely wrong. However was impressed with his skill in languages and his surprising maturity when it mattered.

8. Is protective of Johnny, but isn't afraid to take risks with him. He's never far from his Rider and cares deeply for him.

9. Best way to his heart is through his stomach. He loves, loves, LOVES to eat, but flies it off so he's always in good shape.

10. If Johnny ever died in combat Draxys would absolutely lose his shit and go on a burning rampage...

That was fun! I intend to do Gaz sometime soon, as he and his dragon are also really interesting! Let me know what you guys think ^^

[simssaga]

^_^' hi bean, i don't know you know you quite a bit buuuut... answer these questions please? 42 28 12 37 20! i love you, forever 💗

Suuuure... You don't know me at all 😏 But thx for asking sweetness, love you too 😊✨

12. Who are five (or more) people you want to hug right now? 

I really wanna hug my baby cousin(1), as she's been struggling mentally lately. I just wanna tell her everything's gonna be alright. Then I wanna hug my Aunt(2), cuz... It's not easy for her either, with her daughter struggling. I likewise wanna hug my mom(3), as she's currently figuring some stuff out workwise and could probably use a warm bearhug. My grandparents(4-5) get a hug too, cuz you can never get too many grand-hugs and lastly I'll squeeze my kitty, Saga(6) - She's just too cute not to hug 🥰

20. What/who do you miss?  I miss my younger self - specifically my younger more healthy body, lol🤣 I'm struggling with an eating disorder (BED - Binge Eating Disorder) and my body are marked by years of abuse. And oh... if only I could go back to when I was a healthy size. I would be so much more kind towards myself, maybe things would have turned out differently then. Remember guys, you are beautiful just the way you are and the way you were created. You are so much more than your body and no body is truly perfect. So be kind towards yourselves!💞

28. How are you, really?  I'm OK 🥺 Thx for asking. Tbh, I'm struggling a bit mentally atm. My family is going through some stuff and it's been draining on all of us. I'm also in between jobs at the moment, so my routines are all jacked up and to top it all off... My ED is rearing its ugly face again. But I'm keeping it cool and doing my best. This is only temporary and all will be well soon enough. Just got to keep looking forward and do my best.

37. Do you prefer dogs or cats?  I like both❤️❤️ I use to think, that dogs were my favorites. I didn't have anything agains cats, but they just weren't my favorites - Until I got Saga (we're only allowed cats in the apartment complex I live in). She is so precious to me and I truly can't imagine my life without her.

42. Tag 5 of your favorite blogs OMG! There are so many I love, how am I gonna choose?! I guess, I have to 😏 So... here are 5 16 of my faves. @asteriacove, @charliesimss, @pearlsim, @simmingaroundtheworld, @sugarssims, @poisonfireleafs, @happy-lemon, @simsdeogloria, @thetaurussimmer, @theplumlady, @girlmeetspixels, @hazely-sims, @rosypixels, @mamasanctuary, @hurricanesims & @plumbob95. They're of course in no particular order, as I love them all in different ways🤍 Please go check them out and Sus, (@surroundedbythestjamesfamily) You're a favorite too - can't wait till you start posting for real.

[khodorkovskaya]

storytime: i caused a divorce

the story starts in 2019... i used to give language lessons when i was in highschool to make some pocket money and found students through facebook groups or specialised websites. when i started uni however i stopped because not only did i not have the time, but i also kinda grew out of it. i had about a dozen students and ive been teaching for 4 years, it was time to move on. so i told my students that i'll no longer be available and stopped looking for new ones. until i got a very peculiar message... little did i know, it was the start of a new friendship.

let's call him lucien for the sake of the story. now how do i even describe him to you guys?

the first time i met him was at his office for a language lesson. and he was devastated because his wife (let's call her sarah) had just left him after 10 years of marriage. she left him for another woman... (and later had a gf who had hpv??? but idk if that's the woman she left him for?) anyway, he was very sad and heartbroken.

lucien is very neurodivergent (huuuge adhd and idk if it's a joke or not but he said he's been diagnosed with schizophrenia?? but again he says random shit all the time so idk). he's somewhere on the ace spectrum and never had sex with sarah. bc (1) he's not interested in sex and (2) she's like 20 years younger than him and he felt uneasy about it. and he's also weirdly rich. i say weirdly because he's not a standard kind of rich person. he has periods where he is literally broke and has to beg sarah for money to buy instant noodles. and he has periods where he makes 6 figures in a week. and when he does have money, he doesn't keep it for very long bc he spends it all on expensive hobbies.

now let me explain his expensive hobbies to you. because he doesn't drink and doesn't do drugs (he used to do lots of drugs back in the 90s, has tried everything and a lot of his friends died from overdose yikes). but he is very passionate about his life. he spends tens of thousands on professional diving school and diving equipment, jumps out of planes for fun (with a custom parachute transported to him from lichtenstein ofc), he has all kinds of gadgets that cost more that tuition at elite american colleges, he used to spend 2k a month just to learn how to ice skate, the list goes on... it's insane. id love to tell you guys more about the guy but i can't reveal too much. but if we're chill and you follow me on insta hmu and i'll show you his profile.

so anyway, over the years we've been thru a lot together. we went to russia together, he paid for shooting lessons for me, he gave me an ak-74 once as a present and uhh yeah that was uh an experience.... when my cousin came over last summer we went for a plane ride together. and this year we've been obsessed with ice skating.

every sunday lucien, sarah, my bestie and i would go to the rink. it was my favourite part of the week! the four of us would have a blast! my bestie and lucien would skate in a pair and sarah would show me different techniques and stuff bc im a beginner skater. it was great! sarah struggles with mental health issues and she's been on and off medication, so she's been depressed and tired all this time and now she was finally looking happier and she'd come ice skating with us every time and we'd chat after skating and get coffee together, me and my bestie loved it!

then when the season came to an end lucien offered to buy me and my bestie ice skates! we couldn't be more excited! he often buys his friends presents and judging by the obscene amounts of money he spends on his hobbies and gadgets, it didn't stand out of the ordinary. the four of us went to a professional shop in lausanne and got ice skates and then we went to a museum and had so much fun, it was great! i was so happy that sarah came too bc lucien was telling me how it was a struggle for her to be on her feet all day bc she usually takes lots of naps bc of medication withdrawal. but she seemed fine and we had lots of fun together!

during the trip i briefly mentioned that i wanted to go to skating summer camp and said to my bestie that i was probably gonna save up some money and go bc it's a lot of fun.

and

the next day

lucien sent me 1000chf to my account with a note saying that it's for the skating camp

i was shocked ofc but decided not to say anything over messages but talk to him about it in person the following day bc we were going skating together (my bestie couldn't come cos she was working and sarah didn't come either). he said that he feels the need to support young people's willingness to do things and it's a great initiative that would be a shame for me to miss if i didn't have the money. and i was like okay that's fair and i asked him if he was coming too. and he said he wanted to make sure with me whether it was okay for him to come too bc he didn't want to be creepy. and we agreed that we'll all go together, me, lucien, sarah, and if my bestie isn't working that week we could maybe get her to come along too. he said that if it's only young people and women there, he will sleep at a hotel or at his parents' place (bc his parents have a villa in that region) to not make everyone uncomfortable. we were v excited and i was looking forward to going skating with the usual crew!

and this morning guess what! i receive a message from sarah on our family business email address (so my parents received it too), reading the following:

"id like to inform you that i find lucien's sponsoring of you unhealthy and it's turning into financial domination.

because of that, starting today i have launched a definitive divorce procedure because i don't want to be part of this triangle anymore.

kind regards,

sarah"

ooooo the drama! who could've expected that!!?? and to my parents' email too? good lord!

disclaimer, im not a fake mental health advocate at all and i support all mentally ill women, especially those who display mental illness symptoms! whether you're an alcoholic and it's not a pretty sight or whether your mental health is causing you to act out messy or whatever, i will always be on your side and i will never call you "crazy" or blame you no matter what! i will defend mentally ill women till the end!

so im on sarah's side on this 100%! idk what lucien has told her and she knows him better than i (or my bestie) do. but for me it was clear that we were ALL going to skating camp. if it was for me only i wouldn't have accepted bc yeah that's weird. and lucien, no matter his neurodivergence, has full responsibility of how he spends his money. so idk what went down behind the scenes. maybe he didn't tell her and she just saw that he sent me 1k from his bank account?? whatever it is, lucien better figure shit out bc sarah has been dealing with too much already. she's sacrificed so much for him! and she can do so much better, no offence to lucien ofc, but she's drop dead gorgeous and an amazing person! im rooting for her!

and do i think she will go thru with the divorce? probably not. she's been "threatening" with divorce for a while now and i think that possibly she was having an episode or something when she sent the email. my stepmum does these kind of things. like she'll be normal and then she'll be manic and write weird emails to my mum and call her a whore and stuff. so receiving this email gave me flashbacks and tbh i can't take it seriously.

but i hope our skating group will make it out of this incident just fine. and i still really want to go to skating camp with everyone :(((

im seeing lucien tomorrow so i'll keep you guys updated!

[virinderpaulsingh]



                         SILENCE OF THE LAMBS

Being a child of an immigrant family from Punjab, India, both my folks were often way too busy working to mind our after-school activities. Many years later, this lack of supervision, language barrier, coupled with unbridled access to movies, particularly horror films, led me to gravitate towards filmmaking and storytelling.

It was 1991, Silence of the Lambs had just been released and later distributed on VHS. Watching a movie with my mother in the theatres was a once every 6-month phenomenon. More so, I exaggerated earlier, our folks left us to be babysat viz-a-via movie rentals and broadcast television. Of course they wouldn’t totally lapse their judgement, we had our older cousins (by a year or two) supervising us, in case something were to happen. Then there was this once every week tradition, that we would be pleasantly surprised by when we visited our local mom and pop movie rental place.  This was not one of your small- scale commercial enterprises like Jumbo video. It was even smaller, rather a makeshift video store that had a million other wares to sell. In any case, no questions were asked regarding Rating or an understanding of what that meant. I vividly recall, hiding my giddiness when my uncle brought us Child’s play for our evening entertainment one day. Were my younger brothers and I in for a pleasant surprise when we found out that Chucky had one filthy mouth on him!

           Let me take you back to those formable years, when I had one of my first conscious moments of choosing and empathising with the “bad” guy! I probably didn’t have a major moral dilemma as to why I would choose Dr. Lecter over Clarice Starling (also a doctor in Psychology?) At that point, I frankly couldn’t tell, all I knew was that she’s a FBI field agent and she's pitted against this disgraced doctor (Serial killer) in prison. I also held intellectualism to the highest standard, and in the battle of brains vs brawn, Hannibal Lecter had clearly outwitted everyone. Controlling the show, from the moment we see him snickering behind his prison cell to the point where he fools the entire system and gets away. But it was more than just that, there was a time when reading comic books assisted in the overly simplified view on morality. Shows like Spiderman and He-Man showed archetypes of good vs evil; I was never unsure what side of the coin the hero’s and villains lay on. Whereas the moral ambiguity had me glued, that feeling of not knowing where this was going, and Lecter helping a possible murder from happening. Whose side was this person on? I noticed that we start Silence of the Lambs (STL- from here on in), as a story of a fish out of water, put in a rough situation where her superiors don’t want to get their literal minds annihilated. They put her in harm’s way, but this allows her to punch above her weight class as a recruit and match wits with one of the prison’s most diabolical geniuses.

         When I was 9, I also wasn’t savvy enough to know what genre this film was or for that matter the existence of sub-genre’s. People tend to put ‘STL’ in the thriller/horror slot. Which to me until this day makes no sense or difference. Afterall, all you have to do is ask the 9 year-old in me, how much of a mind fuck this movie was! It made me question authority. At this point, I was very much under the impression that smart, intellectual types were trustworthy and benevolent. It never crossed my mind that you could morph that ideology and use it for blood lust and evil. Hannibal, despite always being restrained by a physical plexi-glassed cell, and later a muzzle and straight-jacket, you as the viewer and clearly Clarice could never be out of true danger. Because he was akways more than just the physical harm that the slasher films brought with them, this man could penetrate your mind and make you question your own morality. Imagine an evil machine that makes you question the very foundation of your existence. I always thought that was reserved for the religious holy men! And here he was, this man, a forensic doctor, having tasted human flesh, developed an appetite to screw around your head and finally have it served to him. As we literally see in one of Thomas Harris’s later book adaptations this scene metaphorical concept take place in the flesh (poor Ray Liotta.)  

Afterall, at what point can one definitively recall an out of body experience? I can recollect it as if this happened yesterday. I was in one of those older cousin led baby sitting sessions, he had rented a movie that was way too horrific for the 9 year old in me. I speak of Silence of the Lambs of course, he puts on this film, without any precursor we start watching. It sounds like a police procedural movie at first but then there is something oddly different. There is mention of a sick serial killer on the loose, who entraps women. Also, not one to question a title, it only dawned on me after several viewings later the metaphor of William Blake’s Tyger and the Lamb being evoked in this parable. Also, there was this fractured fairy tale unspooling in front of my very eyes - The Little Red Riding hood. These analogies are something I hold on to, in most of the things I write about or make, I tend to use such references. Bringing forth a cross from literature, paintings, music into my films and production design. 

I also want to bring forth my absolute love for this movie and movies that I gravitate towards. It’s of no surprise to me that one of my favourite directors (auteurs) is Stanley Kubrick. When you see his character portrayals from Alex in Clockwork Orange or Jack Torrance in the Shinning, that very meddling smile, toying with the viewer, making it hard to resist their maniacal gaze. Watching Anthony Hopkins for the first time be a gentleman (other prisoners used filthy language), while simultaneously a true nosed villain all in the same scene, is what I could not avert my eyes from. I, for one, did not understand what the big deal was when this movie cleaned house that year, with 5 academy awards. The most surprising of the bunch was best film, (rarely considered if ever given to a horror film.) Then there was ‘STL’ becoming a staple watch in my life, as I watched it on an annual basis, I gleaned valuable gems I never could have as a child. The fact there are cameo’s from both George Romero and Roger Corman in this movie (both giants of the field.) The power of POV (Point of View) as a vehicle to enter the characters frame of mind. Tak Fujimoto, helmed the cinematography for this film and he did wonders with his style and approach. He does his best in demonstrating how it would have felt for Clarice in those intimidating scenes, with those ever so slightly shifting power dynamics utilising high and low angles. He makes you feel uncomfortable from the male gaze, the piercing eyes of Hannibal Lecter through the see through plexiglass. A barrier between us, yet no barrier at all. How can there be two villains when it's established that Buffalo Bill was the one that we were hoping to be caught. It only comes way late in the game, when Dr. Lecter skins the face off of one of the officers to escape. Also, a fun fact, his character was modelled after Ed Gein - the same infamous killer, Hitchcock’s Norman Bates and Tobe Hooper’s Texas Chainsaw- Leatherface was based on. Speaking of Psycho, I don’t recall Howard Shore’s soundtrack to be instrumental or as memorable, it served its purpose, but did not take centre stage. Also, someone who we now praise for his greatness, did not pigeonhole himself after the success of this film. The indelible Jonathan Demme, not only did he follow this up with a documentary about his cousin and then with the much lauded Philadelphia with Tom Hanks and Denzil Washington- he never repeated himself. I can’t positively trace how many movies or tv shows have paid hommage to Silence of the Lambs. Though, I do see a throughline between the work of Hitchcock’s Psycho- David Lynch’s Twin Peaks- Demme’s STL- Chris Carter’s X-files to Jordan Peele’s Get out. This is my imagined timeline of how things work, of course there are multitudes of influences on the horror canon.   

In the end all I can be left with is that exhilarating feeling, like seeing your first rock concert, going on your first roller-coaster ride or your first date. The anxiousness, coupled with sheer joy- the childlike innocence of getting a pun and enjoying the meaning of it, without any trepidation whatsoever. To this day, it makes me smile to hear Hopkins deliver that chilling line, “I do wish we could chat longer, but I am having an old friend for dinner.” With that said, evil persists and this cat and mouse game that we just saw, hasn’t come to an end! That is mastery in storytelling, if I ever saw one. It still leaves me with goosebumps, the very thought of recollecting this movie through this lens. Off I go to pour some Chianti and devour some liver. 

Written by - Virinderpaul Singh

[noro-noro-noro]

the dreams I had got mixed up also.

taking the bus 1.5 they changed refinery missions in drg

big party with my relatives 2.5. some people noisy outside my window

some drunk girl takes my boots & teleports away

fantasy world crusade

i have to find hentai with the tags "bearded dragon"

why are the half dreams that i added in later indented. this is annoying

1. taking the bus home from highschool again & that guy was there but the bus stop was now at the bottom of my driveway instead of the bottom of his driveway. my sister was also on the bus and she was telling me the bus stop was at our driveway instead of Alex's but I didn't believe her until it actually stopped. then I was like jaylene when did it become this bus stop!??? when??? also there were lotuses growing next to the driveway so I was cheerful wbout that bc I like them, but then my mom yelled at me for eating lotus root and scattering the seeds around the yard last year bc now she has to dig up all the lotuses & I was like why :( I like these... then there was likr a little hole under the house with blue lighting that looked just like a picture I drew, down to the shitty lineart that I started overpainting instead. I overpainted some of the water in the pond. it was purple.

1.5 something drg related. they changed how pipes in refining worked. scout couf build his own pipes they were blue and placed faster. and also there were 6 geysers now so 6 pipes.

2. a big party with my dad's side of the family, but it happened again in my mom's house. that's always the house I see in my dreams so whatever. one of my smaller cousins C was trying to play piano. i was surprised at how they got such a nice piano onto the driveway and was worried it was gonna rain. everybody was drinking a bit & being a little rowdy , so I decided to keep at eye on my little cousins instead. she tried playing the middle part of a famous waltz that had been simplified down to child level, but then part of it was also just in the hall of the mountain king. which I should look back into playing again bc it was a lot of fun. anyway!! I was trying to help her out but I only had a shitty light blue colored pencil to make notes with. then as people were leaving I heard shouting from inside, a dude named Zach was being a pain in the ass. my brain immediately was like "do you know rhis guy? he's a white gsmer mustve been one of your ex's friends that you forgot to remove on social media" even though he was literally a dude I saw 10-15 times on campus bc he was in Industrial Design which was the huilding next to ours. anyway idk his crimes but he was just chilling in the living room and I kind of wanted him to leave.

2.5. just remembered this, it was also in my mom's house. I was sleeping in my old room when I heard people yelling from the patio (directly under my old room) & it was 8am so I turned the light on & peeked out & there was some family down there who lookrd up a me a bit sheepishly. I like gestured at them & then turbed my light back off.

3. this kinda takes place in the post party zone. it was a similar vibe to the last day of thing I volunteered for in Taiwan, where all the rules went out the window bc half the people "leading" the groups were younger than the college students, and everybody wanted to be drinking, and we were 7 to a room & one of the girls I was with kicked us all out bc she wanted to get with a guy so I was just wandering around the area like :-/ I want to go to bed.... the night market is already closed by now.....anyway it was like that vibe. we were in a similar hotel now, if slightly nicer. some drunk girl in a white fur coat and very fancy strappy heeled sandals showed up with her friend & they sat next to me & talked really loudly for a while, and then the girl was like um. hey. can I borrow your boots to go to the bathroom I don't wanna walk in these heels. so I was like ok sure just bring them back.... & she was like omg thanks babe :D & then as she was taking her sandals off I noticed she had abnormally small feet. whatever. she took my.boots & then like teleported away.

4. there was some kind of sci Fi fantasy aspect leaking in now. like fantasy where the magic is old abandoned scifi stuff like sword of shannara. I was on some quest to do something. there was a machine of some sort? some kind of thing I had. I downloaded something that turned me invisible Just in time since some mafia guys were about to walk up. their girls were also wearing strappy heels. cut to the rest of my stupid stupid party seeing the girl who took my boots also hanging onto MY dimensional gate bow that we were LOOKING FOR. and they were just like oh cool! & let her g on her way

5. it was really vital that I accurately typed in tags to look for some kind of hentai that had a bearded dragon in it..not participating or anything, just that the main girl had one & you got to see her feed it before she went off to get railed or whatever. unfortunately I couldn't spell bearded properly.

[starlightshadowsworld]

There's a lot of ya'll so idk here's 12 things you probably didn't know about me.

.

1. For most of my life I hated my middle name.

My full name was something I got picked on at school and in my family for, particularly my middle one by family.

Also 2 of my bullies shared that name.

I no longer do.

It's Issma BTW.

.

2. I kept misreading tested as tasted as a kid. On products that said dermatolologically tested.

Which I thought meant you couldn't eat it.

I mean you weren't.. These weren't foods but this meant I always checked just in case.

.

3. I'm 5'3 and I pushed a guy who was 6ft down a flight of stairs.

This guy would later go on to date my best friend and without going into it he became the worse person ever but around me he was terrified of me.

I also don't remember pushing him, I just remember a thud and my bestie cackling from the bottom of our schools steps.

People were fucking slow man...

.

4. I have never played a five nights at freddy's game.

I love the franchise, it has consumed my existence but I am a scared bitch.

.

5. My family comes from a village in Azad Kashmir.

.

6. When I was 3 and my brother was a bby I wrote his name on the walls and blamed him for it.

.

7. My favourite sign in BSL (so far) is Gold.

.

8. I have never finished a pokemon game.

I got to the champion when I was younger playing pokémon Diamond and than one of my little cousins broke my ds.

Tried on black never made it past Skylar.

The mystery dungeon games are hard as fuck.

I am now on Pokemon brilliant diamond trying to beat Cynthia.

.

9. My favourite word in Urdu (so far) is Silver, which is Chandi or Nakraai (my fav is the latter)

.

10. My favourite plushi is a yellow m&m I got from the m&m shop in London.

His name is Haru.

.

11. My grandad (mum's dad) accidentally dislocated my shoulder as a baby and no one told my dad for years.

.

12. My system is called Pyxis.

[what-if-nct]

That anon got me laughing so hard at my English class- the way they were like “you gonna play with my fear, imma show you how it feels” I could understand exactly why they would do that to him! Although I’ll feel bad since he’s really afraid of frogs (which reminded me of that clip I saw of him panicking) but I mean… he kinda deserved it (obviously not in that episode, I meant in this scenario — pretty sure everyone knows already)

Bet he’d be scared of the LGBTQ+ community since the most of them really loves frogs and finds them cute. He probably does, but not in person. I could understand since I’m afraid of rats, hamsters and anything similar to that. I’m especially scared of squirrels meaning that I’d probably pee my pants if I see Han Jisung-

No I’m kidding he’s the only squirrel I trust, but something about these creatures makes me feel hella uncomfortable. Don’t worry, I’m not scared of Sandy from SpongeBob or any cartoon squirrels, this only applies to if I ever see one in person. This is because when I was younger back in South Korea (about 4 years old), I used to play with my cousins at a shed since they used to live near the countryside. There was one boy that was 8, another one who was 6 and the only girl that was 3. We all basically looked after her so if she was to cry we would literally climb up a tree to give her an apple to eat or help her get her stuff from there since they had a neighbour bully who liked to ruin the fun for everyone. Btw he was about 8/9 but we’re not going to talk about him for this story (unless if you’re interested let me know)

So at the shed, we were playing hide and seek when we heard the girl crying. We followed the sound until we found her looking traumatised. She was screaming “rat” in Korean but since I didn’t speak it, the eldest boy (the 8 year old one) tried to translate it for me but by the time he finally found the word, I already saw it. So him and the second eldest (the 6 year old one) both tried to catch it and when they did instead of killing it they decided to keep it and named him “Kwan.” We kept the creature at the eldest boy’s room and we gave him food, water and even some toys to play with. In the background, the girl wasn’t happy we didn’t kill it so she ended up snitching behind our backs.

That night, the father told us to hand him the rat and we did just that and what happened next really traumatised me because he gave it to the family dog and he basically killed Kwan. I remember crying about it for days with my cousins whilst singing songs that reminded us of him. Although the eldest recovered much better than us, I was left scarred remembering the blood that was all over the floor that day. Mice and squirrels are very similar animals since the father would say that the dog would kill any animal that would come to the house.

And… yeah. Hopefully Hendery doesn’t bring a random rat to my face or I’d definitely put a frog on his face and see his weak ass trying to climb away from the scene.

I remember how scared he was during their show in China and he couldn't even do the whole obstacle. And even though Lucas was also scared he still protected Hendery who was the most scared. So in that case it was not deserved poor boy. But if he does use others phobias against them then honey, you deserve it, though I couldn't I'd still feel bad. But my goodness, that is so traumatizing. Like he couldn't of just drove you guys to the park and released it. Like you got emotionally attached to the little guy and watched it get murdered. That's so traumatizing for a kid. Completely understandable to fear other rodent like creatures. Like what the heck. Me and my sister always had hamsters but my sister killed one by dropping it and I told her now the hamster is going to haunt you in your sleep I was 7 and she was 6 so she believed me but was not too scared. Then we had a family of hamsters in a giant fish tank, honestly if it was just one hamster in a huge fish tank that would actually be perfect hamster care but this was the 00s we didn't know they couldn't live together. But my sister poured water in the tank and drowned them. She didn't want to see them swim she wanted to drown them. She also said she killed our mom's dog by pouring bleach in the water. Then we both had to see a therapist. I wasn't traumatized by the hamsters but I am slightly scared of my sister.

[realhusbandexperience]

Part 1 (Introduction)

 The summer of 2023 was the year my life changed forever, but before I get into specifics, I want to write a bit about myself to add more context. I was born and raised in Cuba. I came to the US when I was 19 and I am currently living in New York. At the time of writing this I am 33 years old, 6’2, dark hair. I go to the gym religiously minimum 5 times a week. I consider myself a handsome guy, getting girls has never been a problem for me. Despite that, I have never been the type of guy to sleep around a lot. I came to the US in 2010, and I immediately got into a relationship that lasted around 6 years. We had what you can call a “normal” relationship, and we were both going to college during most of that time. In 2016 we split up; it was not a difficult break up. I want to say we were both very mature about the situation. I think today looking back, I understand more why things happened the way they did. Let me explain, I have never been a very sexual person. That’s also the reason I have never been the type to sleep around with different women. At the time, when we broke up, she mentioned wanting more. I thought she meant in life, maybe she wanted to move out of New York. Maybe she wanted to party more since most of our college years all we did was study. It wasn’t until 2023 that I got to understand what she really meant. This will make more sense once I get into the real reason why I am writing this.  

Two years after my breakup my best friend who we will call “Kathy” (I am changing everyone’s name) told me that her cousin “Ashley” found me attractive. I knew who she was but despite being my best friend’s cousin we were never in the same circle and she’s 3 years younger than us. I was also in a relationship and for the 2 years I was single Kathy knew very well I was not looking for anything. At the time, I did not think much about it because I never thought it would go anywhere anyways. In order to get the story going I will conclude by saying that not only did we connect at a level I never thought we would, but 2 years later Ashley and I got married.  

I want to write a little about our marriage so far. Ashley is a nurse in a hospital and her shift would change every week. I work from 7AM to 3PM Monday to Friday. It doesn’t matter what shift Ashley worked the day before, she always gets up with me at 5 am, makes me breakfast and gives me a kiss before I leave for work. We are a team, and I could not be happier with the way our relationship is. I always thought we had pretty good communication so, in my mind I didn’t think she would hold anything back. Not only did I always see her as my wife but also as my best friend.  

Summer of 2023 came, and I remember it like it was yesterday. It was the end of June when I started noticing some weird stuff around the house. I am a very anal person so if something is out of place or seems different, I am quick to notice. First, it was the toilet, you know when a man pees sometimes it splashes around, and it leaves marks? I am the type of person to clean it every single time! Then why am I finding it that way when I come from work? I know it sounds small and there were other little things but that was the one thing that bothered me the most. It drove me so crazy that I started having doubts. The normal move to make would’ve been talking to Ashley but instead, I installed spy cameras all over the house. Trust me when I say I am not proud of it but the intrigued was killing me and I wanted to be so wrong about what I could potentially see on it.  

I installed the cameras on a Monday while she was at work and Tuesday morning, I was sitting in my office with my iPad next to the two screens I use for work checking every movement. A part of me was feeling so guilty watching my wife at home having no idea of all the cameras but I needed to know. I remember being so nervous leaving the house that morning knowing I was about to spy on her. Depending on her shift, she always goes back to sleep for a few more hours. It wasn’t until around 9:30am that she got up again and started doing what every normal person does after waking up. Watching her stepping out of the shower and then putting on her panties made me think about how I don’t compliment her figure enough. Ashley is 5’7 and just like me, she takes good care of her body. I love everything about her. She has a toned and athletic physic with a slender waist and well-defined curves. Her breast is exactly the way I like them in a woman, not big and not too small. They stay right where they need to be, hence the reason why she rarely wears a bra. Her father is from Dominican Republic and her mother is from Medellin, Colombia so, she inherited that brownish skin color like she has a tan 24/7 and that beautiful seductive face that many Colombian women have. If you Google Vanessa Christine, she’s a model my wife follows on Instagram (@vanessachristine), then you will have a good idea how Ashley looks like, except I might be biased but my wife is 10 times prettier. After stepping out of the bathroom she proceeded to walk half naked to the kitchen and began to make a cup of coffee. While waiting for it to be ready, I see she’s on her phone while her other hand went very slowly under her panties. The quality of the video wasn’t 4K resolution, but it was good enough for me to see her biting her lips while looking at whatever was making her do that on her phone. That alone wasn’t that bad, I know this might shock whoever reads this but no, I don’t watch porn. I never cared about it and as I mentioned before, I was never a very sexual person to begin with. With that being said, it’s not like I was going to break up a marriage because she might have been watching a dirty video and touching herself?  

That alone was still not explaining all the other weird stuff I was finding in the house. Then around 10:40AM I saw her walking towards the door still half naked. I had no idea if anyone had rung the bell but I had no audio on the cameras so I couldn’t hear. She opened the door and at that point I couldn’t even describe what I was feeling. A man I did not know came into the house while my wife was only wearing panties and at that point, I didn’t need more prove but I was so in shock that I couldn’t take my eyes away from the iPad. They started kissing in the Livingroom and I can see my wife putting his pants down and kneeling in front of him. In a way, it was like watching a totally different person grabbing his cock and slapping her face with it, spitting on it and getting very dirty. I lost the sense of time while I was observing what at the moment, I was hoping was a nightmare. Then he grabbed her and sat her on the couch, opened her legs and started eating her out. From that angle I was only able to see her face enjoying it while one hand was on his head and the other was touching her boobs. That went on for a lot longer than I was expecting it to go and when I finally snaped out of being in shock for who knows how many minutes, then my brain finally started to process everything. I was so hurt, but that day I also started to understand something. The relationship with my wife was perfect in my eyes but, I began to realize why putting more effort on the sexual part is important. I finally understood what my ex-girlfriend meant by “wanting more”. Everything my wife was doing there with that man is exactly the opposite I do during sex. I was being very honest to myself. I was very boring in bed, we never did anything crazy or risky. I barely even like to kiss in public let alone do something else. I was assuming responsibility for what at the moment I thought was a failed marriage. My heart was broken in a million pieces, but I was also mature enough to understand that I was not giving her the passion this strange man was giving Ashley. I even remember thinking, all these years together, and I think I can count the number of times I’ve gone down on her. I still had to get up from that chair and run towards the bathroom to throw up. I was so devastated watching that man getting up after eating her out and brushing her pussy with his cock getting ready to put it in. They started having sex and I couldn’t hold my tears back any longer. I had to look away but a part of me still wanted to wait until the end. I wanted to see how long he was staying in my house and to my surprise, I saw him cumming in my wife’s stomach then he used the bathroom while my wife laid in the couch fully naked. He got dressed, gave her a kiss and left.  

I am not saying that made me feel better because at that very moment only waking up from this nightmare would’ve made me feel some type of relief. But the positive of it all, if any, was to see zero intimacy. I couldn’t hear a thing, but he didn’t stay to cuddle, it didn’t look like he was there for more than just sex. I saw a different side of my wife that day, and I wanted to be so impulsive. I wanted to leave work and confront her and maybe that has been my problem so far, I was never that type of person. My heart was racing, and I was still crying but I tried to calm myself down so I could approach the situation more thoughtfully. There was no way I was going to start that conversation through messages or a phone call. At the end, I got home, and I don’t know how, but I did my best to act like I was fine. She did notice I was not the usual self, but I gave her the “I’m not feeling well excuse” She had to leave for work soon that’s why I had decided to postpone the conversation for another day. I was also trying to decide whether I wanted to mention the hidden cameras or not.