#also the movie looks fucking great by the way

[ruby-red-inky-blue]

I've been thinking about that again lately - especially the point about Cassian being an unconventional male lead in the movie - and I think what annoys me so much about the Andor characterisation (besides how little there is of it sometimes) is that it reads like a character who was reconfigured for the male gaze in many ways.

Rogue One Cassian:

a guy who committed fully to a cause at a very young age, and was clearly destroying himself in the attempt to hang on to that idealism. Yes, that man killed people without flinching, and was clearly prepared to do it all over again, but he was also wracked with guilt over it

implied to be a good manipulator (Tivik, who is clearly very afraid, still agreed to meet him and give him a huge secret; he convinced Bodhi they'll make it off Scarif; holds good speeches; described as a great recruiter by his superiors in the additional publications)

but clearly winging it most of the time, and not often suave

no hint of being great with women (calling Jyn's commitment to the cause inadequate and privileged, trying to tell her what she is feeling, then returning and offering her an army of people willing to die for her is... inelegant as far as flirting goes tbh)

kept being one-upped by the female lead in physical fights

took orders readily, deferentially and silently, both from his CO and (gasp!) the female lead

there was no specific personal loss that had pushed him into caring, although he did tell Jyn she was "not the only one who lost everything", it was never specified if that made him pick up the fight or not

he was the organised stickler to Jyn's rebellious chaotic approach

he was largely a reactive character, shifted around by the plot and, most importantly, by following Jyn

failed his main assignment, not because anything out of his control went wrong, but because he couldn't bring himself to shoot Galen

his arc was relearning (or, possibly, learning for the first time) to assert his own judgement over his superiors, which is a storyline usually given to female characters

meanwhile, here is what Tony Gilroy saw in Cassian:

source: Vanity Fair

Couple things here.

"A perfect kind of spy" - yeah! But in a real-world sense, not a James Bond sense. Because James Bond is actually a really bad spy. Cool, but terrible. He leaves a trail of women he fucked whom he told secrets to and who can be used to manipulate or trace him, he tells everyone his government name for no reason, he is drunk, keeps killing people who could tell him stuff, and cannot stop drawing attention to himself. An actual good spy is unassuming and nonthreatening, and sure, charming and attractive doesn't hurt but not in a way that people will remember. A spy who is the hottest thing since sliced bread? Way too conspicuous. The Cassian we see in the movie defaults to make himself nonthreatening at every opportunity - making himself look goofy and clumsy ("oh no, my gloves!"), smiling, making himself smaller, letting himself get kidnapped with no earnest attempt to resist or retaliate.

He is not the perfect warrior. He is a good shot and appears to have an ungodly pain tolerance, but we never see him engage in violence in the way that "warrior" stereotypically implies. It is never implied he is adept at any strength-based combat and he will not get up close and personal. This man never beats up anyone, he is not reckless when outnumbered, and his main contribution to the final fight is drawing fire and covering the protagonist, and almost immediately getting hit.

"The perfect killer" who, again, had the perfect chance to execute a vital enemy target and didn't, simply because he emotionally could not do it. Great analysis, man, no notes!

I think the interpretation of "seductive" isn't wrong in regards to R1!Cassian, looking especially at his speeches in the latter half - except, of course, on Andor we end up with that being reflected both by Cassian being suddenly incredible at massive feats of manipulation (while being unable to lie to his mother or convince people to get off his back about the money he owes them, somehow), AND literally by Cassian being a flirt and womaniser. Which, again, really works against him being a good spy, and also goes against the characterisation of the movie. Sure, you could say he was weird around Jyn because he had a crush, or because he wasn't into her, but Cassian seemed so burned out most of the movie that I just can't picture him mustering the energy for any kind of hedonism.

The last bit of that quote is such an upsetting mischaracterisation of Cassian's final acts, and I really hope that's just because it was phrased weirdly. Because "How do you get to that place and then sacrifice yourself" implies that Cassian felt he was top of his game, and proud of it, and sacrifice was an active step he took in spite of that. Cassian visibly resented himself for his actions. He repeatedly put himself in harm's way with no hesitation and very little care for his life before the finale. Giving his life was not sacrificing something good for a win. Scarif was his redemption. This is very clearly stated in dialogue. Cassian viewed this victory as making things right with the world, and seemed mostly relieved to die on the beach. I don't understand how a writer could not get that.

But yeah, overall Cassian, while still a very tragic character (and still played by the man with the saddest eyes in the biz), has become way more of a male action hero type in Andor. The initial Han-Solo-esque blasé attitude and reluctance to fight, the mercenary mentality, the petty criminal background are all things typically associated with the Cool Tough Guy, traits which he emphatically did not have before. Also, I get that Cassian and his skillset would be a great asset to Luthen, but I feel like Cassian from Rogue One was emphatically not a guy who any recruiter ever treated like God's gift to the cause, and Luthen repeatedly makes the point that his own life and the invaluable imperial tech Cassian stole are worth the risk of recruiting... some thief who can lie okay? Luthen's early treatment of Cassian is oddly chosen-one coded, and I never felt like that was earned. But it makes Cassian look badass! Which was probably the main intention behind all that. And then the constant bitchiness about submitting to authority. I'm obviously not talking about the prison arc, I mean when he was receiving very necessary training on Aldhani or even when he has a go at Kleya for giving him bad intel before stealing the TIE in season 2. That is simply wildly out of character for the man we saw in Rogue One - but it is more palatable for the kind of male viewers who think masculinity is always asserting dominance. If your pov character can't be in command just yet, he can at least be bitching about the ones who are. And making him so slow to care for the broader cause makes it look like he's not ever really acting out of conviction so much as he seems to be avenging personal losses and harm to himself and people he personally knows. Which is also a much more traditional motivation for a male character.

We do still see Cassian flounder a lot, but in a way that makes him look much better than in Rogue One, because it's always established that he's a) new at this and b) even if he comes in prepped for a situation, it was always on a notably short deadline or with extra hurdles. He was brought into Aldhani three days before go time; they have to orchestrate the prison break with very limited amount of communication; he was ill-prepared for the theft of the TIE (and also apparently only there for a few hours? why not send him in for a few days, to watch other people fly the thing?); he had virtually no time to make any kind of plan before trying to extract his friends from the farm planet. R1!Cassian was much more reliant on prep and planning (the whole operation up until Jedha had clearly been planned for a long time), and was skilled at improvising when that plan - his plan - inevitably went sideways. In Andor, every fuck-up appears to be outside of his control, and he was mostly winging it anyway! Any success is therefore impressive and cool, and a dunk on all the other idiots who spent so long planning it.

The only truly dumb choice he makes is executing Skeen before he can prove to anyone that Skeen was going to betray them - and here we do see him be the cold killer that Gilroy seems to think he is! Because that was not ordered, did not further any cause but to satisfy his anger at being successfully lied to, and there was no shadow of self-defense in it. It's not necessarily a thing I can't see R1!Cassian doing, especially a younger version - but it does run counter to the portrayal we got, of a man who "did everything I did [...] for the Rebellion", who hated killing so much he eventually couldn't even do it when it did further the cause. And, crucially, Andor!Cassian never once seems to feel the slightest bit of guilt over the people he's killed so far - only people who got killed because of him or beside him, like Nemik or Kino, and even there guilt didn't seem to be the thing that lingers, he's mostly angry. Which is fair, both for the themes they're exploring and as a possible backstory for the character, but again, much more palatable to that certain male audience.

Lastly, this is even in the clothing! It pains me to do anything but rave about Andor's costuming because it is divine, but... they even dressed him kind of like a cowboy in his intro (see this post). R1!Cassian spent a large part of the movie in a floofy parka that his frame completely disappeared in, face haloed by soft fur, and was otherwise dressed pretty much in army fatigues (except for the Imperial uniform and the sexy black leather jacket in the intro, which might be where Gilroy pulled the inexplicable Bond vibes from??). Also, we get a shot of his ass but not of Jyn's, which is very funny but I don't know if I want to pretend this is a serious argument or not. Andor sees him in much more leather and suede in more muted colours, coarser materials, long, swooping open coats with a more classically adventure-hero type silhouette (when he gets to pick his own wardrobe, of course). And, of course, there's a shirtless scene, too.

so yeah, I know a lot of people will not vibe with this assessment because Cassian in Andor is still, unlike a lot of action leads written by men, not a creep or a misogynist. But they still retconned or reshaped a lot of the traits that made him so inadequate to a lot of male Star Wars fans in the movie, and as someone who thought that was very sexy of Cassian that's just such a bummer.

Nah I gotta say something.

After watching Rogue One all of the characters are amazing. I literally love them all. Some people saying Cassian was their favorite. I love him, he’s my blorbo.

And then Andor completely retconning his entire character, personality and background and everything we knew at all whatsoever, some people still say that this was why the SAME GUY was always the fave ???

I loved him because he was a refreshingly different male lead. Because he wasn’t some brooding loser but was intentional in being a leader within the rebellion no matter the costs. And then they made him out to be a reluctant cowboy?

I get liking both canons. I get still loving this new character and the old. I get trying to bridge the differences. But completely ignoring the fact that they changed his everything and acting like it was the same guy, it’s so sad seeing so many people never gave a shit at all in the first place when they claimed to. Maybe it’s just me being naive but that’s actually wild to me male characters can be completely contradicted and still be valued over their female counterparts. I actually hate y’all.

[junestrider]

JuneBro: Balatro

Balatro: The Game That Should Have Won Game Of The Year Because It Is Ten Times Better Than The Bullshit That Got The Award

alright, welcome back to another belated and severely late installment of this review thing i do, called JuneBro. real quick, i wanna apologize to the bros (albeit small in number) who saw the last review as that shit was NOT in character and was just written in a way I hated. gonna work on keeping it brotastic here and making sure im actually writing like a cool person instead of some dumb homo tool (homo as in homo sapiens, i respect the gays).

anyways, so lets talk about this card game. when i first heard of balatro honestly i kinda thought it was just gonna be another "flavor-of-the-week" game ala Lethal Company or Content Warning (both are great games but its also like DAMN did those games fall off holy SHIT). i decided impulsively at some point that i was gonna try it since im an apple one subscriber and got the game for free due to apple arcade. so this game is sitting on my phone now and im like, so this is about poker or some noise? im not that into card games, ive played a round of rummy or two in my time (as a bro typically does) but ive barely played poker and i wasnt expecting much to be honest. from what ive seen online a lot of cats seem hella pumped about it, and so i start the game and for some reason, it hooks me in. i dont know how, something about seeing the funny blue and red number go up just awakens something in a motherfucker. but i very quickly realize that the vanilla experience for this game is okay, but when do you get to BREAK some shit? like while youre playin cards or whatever, wheres the satisfaction of knowing youre greatly exploiting the game to your fucking will? wheres the satisfaction of having joker combos that you had a hand in manipulating? when do you get to shove the chips and mult system over the railing and just go to town? how do you get all the luck? all very important and thought provoking questions. were doing so much goddamn thinking over here were turning into the fucking thinker.

so thats when i decide to get it on PC and install a like, FUCK ton of mods. im talking at least 20. and honestly? yeah, i know that some bros are gonna look at me and say "well youre doing it the cowards way, you should finish vanilla balatro before you mod it" and you know what? i dont give a fuck honestly. i dont care that i feel like i need stuff like incremental jokers that give times mult. sometimes you gotta just rig shit in your favor because if it works for politicians and fucking lawmakers then it works for me. back to the review, when you install the right mods on this thing, man you can turn the whole game into a particle accelerator and really fuck some shit up. i wanna eventually get into modding the game with my own mods. i wanna add homestuck jokers, valve jokers, all the fucking jokers. theres gonna be so many goddamn jokers that hollywoods gonna have to make a jokerverse movie because theres that many fucking jokers.

anywho, i decided to give this game a 4.75/5 shades to keep it real.

[galaxymacbeth]

Travelin' Soldier pt.1

Two days past eighteen He was waitin' for the bus in his army greens Sat down in a booth in a café there Gave his order to a girl with a bow in her hair

The sky was bright with birds cheering overhead. His watch glared back at him that he had almost eight hours before he needed to be on a train. But he couldn’t spend another second in that house, so he left promptly after he finished packing a bag.

Simon Riley had wandered on foot all the way from Gatley to Manchester Piccadilly Station. He sat on a bench, flicking the ticket to London between his fingers when his stomach grumbled to him.

Fuck. Had he eaten breakfast that morning? Or was he in that much of a hurry to leave that house that he forgot to even take an apple — if the apple was even good? Who knows the last time his father actually bought food; much less fresh fruit. Simon scoured his mind to remember any cheap looking places to eat on his long walk to the train station but all he could remember was a pub a couple blocks away named Rosario’s.

With a sigh, he clenched his fist on the bag strap and began backtracking his steps. The intensity of his walk must have hit him as he trudged to the door and all but fell on it to get it open.

The pub was quiet, only a chipper voice musing to a customer at the bar about a new movie coming out. She gushed about how she’d seen the musical last year and was so excited to see it come to life on the big screen. Simon fell into a booth and let his head rest on the table. He was tired from that walk.

“Hi, there!”

American. Great.

“You look tired, I can get you a tea if you’d like. I learned how to make this little concoction that helps me wake up when I’m falling asleep midday, if you want to try it,” she said, her voice quieting as she leaned on the end of the table. Simon sucked in a breath as he looked at her.

A bow held her bright red hair into an obnoxious high ponytail but her face was soft and her brown eyes were begging him to let her help. She wore a floral blouse and dark slacks, as far as Simon could tell. She was everything he wasn’t.

“Or, I can leave you alone.”

She took a step back, but his hand shot out to grab it and reel her back in to the table.

“Yeah, yeah, that tea,” he spit out. The smile grew on her face as she nodded.

“That tea, coming right up.”

Her voice never rose over a few decibels as she spoke to the customer at the bar and made the tea. She snatched something off the counter as she came back to his table and sat across from him.

“It’s Irish Breakfast tea with some brown sugar and a slice of ginger. I know it sounds weird, but the ginger helps wake you up and the brown sugar makes you feel warm inside. And this,” she slid a dessert plate covered in chocolate syrup and a brownie towards him, “is for the look in your eyes.”

“What look?”

“Like you’re scared but trying not to show it. I had that look on my face before I moved here,” she shrugged but never stopped smiling. Simon eyed her as he picked up the fork from the plate and cut a piece off. “Call if you need anything or want anything else to eat.”

She pressed her hands to the table, giving him a moment to stop her, but stood and walked back behind the bar. Simon watched her, fumbling to put pieces of brownie in his mouth and to not spill the tea that was surprisingly good. It did make him feel warm but also alert. The girl glided back and forth behind the bar, cleaning glasses and making drinks with ease to hand to the few customers that came in.

“Um,” Simon stopped. He’d never even asked her name.

“What’s up?” But there she appeared, by his side and smiling at him like he didn’t just escape from the worst possible situation in the world. The smile almost broke through the dark cage around his heart and mind. How was it so bright in such a dim pub?

“A burger—can I have a burger?”

She nodded, “anything on it?”

“How…how do they make them in America,” he asked. The smile on her face grew and she nodded, almost shaking with excitement.

“I’ll bring it out soon. Promise it’ll be the best burger you’ve ever had.” She didn’t give him a chance to ask again before she sprinted towards the back kitchen, calling out for the cook. Barely a minute later, she burst through the doors, earning a heavy jump from Simon.

“Sorry,” she whispered as she set a plate in front of him, “I didn’t mean to scare you. But this is exactly how my brother makes them.”

“Will…you sit with me?”

She dropped into the booth across from him.

“You’re going to the military, aren’t you,” she asked, eyeing the bag beside him. Simon nodded through a bite. “We get a lot of boys going to London.”

“I’m leaving tonight,” he said. He bit back a groan at the greasy flavors from the burger. It was unhealthy, that much he could tell, but it was so good. The cheese was definitely not real cheese but it make him understand why she seemed to love the burger so much, if the almost unhinged smile on her face was to be believed.

“Tonight? Then let me buy you lunch. And dinner, if you’ll still be around for it.”

Simon shook his head as he swallowed another bite, “no, I can cover it.”

“I don’t think you can’t,” she laughed quietly, “but I want to. You look like you could use some company and I get off in an hour. I know just the place to go.” Simon narrowed his eyes at her. “I might have only moved here a year ago, but I know Manchester almost as well as you locals.”

He took another bite.

Chewed it.

Swallowed it.

“Okay.”

She let out a silent cheer and pumped her fist into the air, “you won’t regret it. Do you want me to bring you any more tea?”

Simon shook his head as he took another bite and said through it, “a pint, please.”

“Letting me pick the poison?” He nodded at her grin. She hopped up and snatched the empty tea cup as she went to pour a pint. A dark glass was set in front of Simon and she slid back into the booth.

“Guinness?”

“I don’t actually like beer, so it’s the only one I know with confidence that most British people like,” she said, “but if you actually want something else, I can get it.”

Simon took a sip of the beer and just went back to eating.

“You don’t have any allergies, right?” He shook his head. “Good, I’m making dinner and I don’t want to kill one of the queen’s men.”

“’M not a soldier yet,” he mumbled into his pint.

“No, but I bet you’ll be one of the best. What branch?”

“Army.”

She nodded, her body waving as she did, “army’s good. My grandma was in the Navy. She was a nurse in Vietnam. Used to write letters to my grandpa while she was over there.”

“Where was he,” Simon asked. What kind of guy let his girl go off to the worst war Simon had ever learned about while he stayed home? Simon bit back the question and finished off his burger, pushing the plate to the end of the table so he could focus on the beer in front of him.

“He was disabled in Vietnam. It was how they met. He made it two weeks into combat when his leg got blown off. Grandma stayed to care for more soldiers. Then when she got home, they got married,” she said, her eyes glinting at the love story. Simon watched as she drifted off into her own world, probably remembering sweet memories of her childhood.

“Yer ‘supposed to be workin’, ya know?” A portly man stood at the end of the booth, one hand on his hip and the other on the table.

“Oh shit, sorry Drew. Hey, meet me back here in an hour, okay?” She smiled down at Simon as she stood and, without thinking, ran a hand down his hair. Simon’s face burned and he took another drink as she also began to turn red. Drew laughed as she ran into the back of the pub.

“She’s put you on ‘er tab, so if you want anything else, let ‘er know,” he said to Simon with a smirk. Simon gasped out a reply, not that he knew what he’d said, and Drew followed her.

Simon dropped himself back into the same booth. The pub was louder than it had been in late morning, when he wandered in and met sunshine incarnate. The girl was at the bar, not behind it, laughing with an older man who was keeping a gentle distance from her. She glanced up at the clock behind the bar and set her glass down on the bar.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Mr. Tuner,” she said. She didn’t wait for him to reply before she slipped off the barstool and turned to Simon. He was sitting at the end of the booth, his bag unceremoniously dropped at his feet. His hair looked like he’d run his hands through it thoroughly before he got back to the pub.

She had changed from her morning shift. Her flowery blouse was replaced with a hoodie bearing a tiny husky logo on the chest. The dark pants she’d had on were swapped for a pair of jean shorts that were rather uncharacteristic for April in Manchester. The only thing the same was her high ponytail and the black trainers, only Simon could now see the socks she wore. They were union jack patterned and he huffed out a laugh at them.

“Are you ready? You can leave your bag behind the bar if you want. I promise it’ll be there when we get back,” she said, pointing down to it, “speaking of, when is your train?”

“It’s at 1945,” he said. Her mouth opened and he could see her thinking, the gears turning.

“So, seven? Okay, we have plenty of time,” the smile reappeared and Simon let her pick up the bag and set it on the end of the counter. “Richie, keep this behind the bar, yeah? We’ll be back for it.”

The bartender nodded and tossed a set of keys at her, “forgot these.”

“Thanks. My dumbass would forget my head if it wasn’t attached,” she said through a laugh. Simon watched her fist them, but the keychain dangled through her fingers. An octagonal MG logo caught an overhead light as she shoved it into her hoodie pocket.

“C’mon,” she grabbed Simon’s hand and all but drug him out of the pub. He followed her down the street until she came to a slow at a British Racing Green MGB.

“You drive an MGB,” Simon asked as she pulled the driver’s side door open.

“You wouldn’t believe how long it took me to get this thing running. Richie and I spent three months straight working on this thing,” she said as she settled herself in the seat, “get in.”

Simon sat down as gentle as he could and twisted his hands together in his lap. It earned a laugh from the girl beside him and he whipped his head to look at her.

“You can touch the car. It’s old, but believe me, very few of the parts are. Now, I hope you’re hungry for a nice walk and semi-early dinner.” She turned the key and the engine sputtered to life. The lack of seatbelts had Simon grabbing onto the door in an attempt to keep himself safe in the topless convertible.

They drove in silence out of the city and towards farmland. Simon glanced down at his watch, but it only told him that he had plenty of time before he needed to be back at the train station.

“I won’t let you miss your train, promise,” she said, glancing at him with a smile.

She slowed as she made it to a gate and the car dipped into the dirt off the road. As the engine cut, pure silence fell over them. A bird chirped yards away, but it was peaceful. Leaves fluttering and cows mooing filled the air. Simon almost began twitching as the unfamiliar lack of sound. A click caught his attention as she climbed out of the car and rounded it to open the trunk.

“You know, I used to think boot was a funny word for a trunk, but I get it,” she mused as she pulled a basket from it.

Simon jumped out of the car and came to her side, reaching for the basket, “let me carry it.”

“If you insist,” she giggled as he took the handles from her, “it’s just a short walk, promise.”

“You make a lot of promises,” he said as he followed her to the gate. She pushed it open and held it for him to pass through. It snapped shut behind them and Simon fought back his urge to run from the noise.

“I keep them all,” she shrugged, “or I try my best to. I’d never promise to, like, not die. But I’d promise to die with a smile on my face.”

“It never falls,” Simon said. She let out a huff, but like he said, her smile never drooped. She took his hand, her hold loose in case he pulled away, but he tightened his grip on her as they walked. Deep in the middle of the field was a blanket and a few pillows. The grass around it was stamped down, almost like she was a common occupant of the field, and she dropped onto a pillow like she owned it. Simon sat next to her, setting the basket between them. A small smile was growing on his lips as he watched her dig through the basket.

“I never introduced myself,” he said, “I’m Simon Riley.”

She stopped her digging and looked up at him.

“Harley Hopkins,” she held a hand out and Simon took it, shaking it once before turning it over and kissing the back of her hand. Harley’s cheeks grew red as she took her hand back and pulled a bottle from the basket.

“Um, Drew said Stella is a popular beer, so I brought you one.” She held out the drink and Simon’s smile grew as he took it. “Now I have some American delicacies here.”

Harley pulled out a few containers absolutely filled with food. With a push of the basket, she laid them out between her and Simon.

“French fries, mac and cheese, hot dogs with chili, like, a lot of chili, and I have two desserts,” Harley looked up at Simon, who was holding back a laugh with his hand. She bit her lip and let out a single squeaking laugh. The sound of it had Simon letting go and he barked out a laugh. They both doubled over as they kept laughing at Harley’s delicacies.

Once Simon had reined in his laughter, he sat up and dug through the basket for a bottle opener. Harley instead held out her keys.

“I forgot one, but these’ll get it open,” she said as Simon took them. She opened each of the containers and tossed a French fry into her mouth.

“So, Simon, why are you joining the Army?”

He felt his body tense at the question and, for the first time since he’d met her, Harley’s smile fell.

“Oh, no, no you don’t have to tell me,” she said, holding her hands up at him. But Simon just shook his head and willed his shoulders to relax. Silence fell over them again and he could feel the tension leave him.

“My dad’s an abusive piece of shit and I want out,” he said after a minute of silence, “so I’m going to do good in the world.”

A semblance of a smile came to Harley, “you will do good, I just know it.”

“So, why did you move to Manchester,” Simon asked as he picked up a cluster of mac and cheese with a fork. Harley smiled and shifted in her seat.

“I’m a student at Manchester, I’m studying Scottish history,” she said. Half of the chili fell from the hot dog she picked up, but she took a bite anyway.

“So you moved to…Manchester. Instead of Glasgow?” Simon chuckled at her as she frowned at the falling chili. She scooped it up onto a fork and forced it to stay on the hot dog as she took another bite.

“Couldn’t afford tuition. Or to live there. I know it’s silly, but I take trips up to Scotland a lot. I even met this lovely woman up there…Mac…Tarn? Tavish? Something like that. She keeps trying to get me to move in with them and go to Glasgow but I like Manchester a lot,” Harley said through the bite, “oh god.” She slapped a hand over her mouth and swallowed. “I’m sorry, that was disgusting.”

“I grew up with a little brother, nothing is disgusting anymore,” Simon said with a wave. His hand was covered in chili as he picked up the other hot dog. Harley glared at his success of keeping chili on it as he took a bite.

“Does your boyfriend mind you taking me on a date?” Simon glanced up at her as he took a drink of his beer. Harley coughed, almost dropped her hot dog, and then let out a laugh.

“I don’t have a boyfriend. Richie is just my coworker. He’s got a fiancé,” she said, “you agreed to go on a date with someone you thought had a boyfriend?”

Simon shrugged and shoved a cluster of French fries into his mouth, “didn’t care.”

Harley let out another quiet laugh under her breath and shook her head. A crow called overhead and began circling them, causing Simon to stand.

“No, leave him alone,” Harley stood up and grabbed Simon’s arm before he could raise it, “it’s just Finley.”

“Finley?”

“He likes to come sit with me sometimes, just hold out a fry.” Harley put one in Simon’s hand and wrapped his fingers around it. Sure enough, the crow tucked its wings in and landed on Simon’s hand, grabbing at the fry. It squawked around the fry and flew off.

“You feed crows? You’re strange, Harley.”

“Well, Simon, some of us have strange quirks but that doesn’t make us any more strange than someone who’s willing to join the Army.” The smile on her face betrayed the bite in her tone as she threw herself back on the pillow, but splayed her legs out in front of her. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Simon said as he lowered himself to his own pillow, “didn’t mean it to be mean.”

“I was the weird kid in school, you guys have those here, right?”

Simon hummed at her but nodded, “yeah, Jeremy from grade 4. Weirdo. Used to collect frogs and set ‘em free inside.” Harley let out a ha and leaned back on her hands. “Also grabbed teachers’ asses.”

“Oh, so he was just a creep that did weird shit, classic.” Harley looked up at the sky and let out a long breath. Simon watched her as she closed the contain half full of chili and laid back onto the blanket. Simon followed suit, closing the remaining two containers and putting all three in the basket. Fluffing the pillow he’d been sitting on, he laid next to her, squeezing his eyes closed.

“Did you make all this?”

“Yeah, a lot of the soldier-to-be's that come in have little packaged dinners with them, but you just had a bag and that look on your face. I...guess I wanted to do something to make you feel better,” she said, “Ma always said something silly about the way to a man’s heart is his stomach.”

Simon chuckled, but kept his eyes closed. Somewhere in the distance, he could heard chickens clucking at each other. He imagined the birds fighting over grain and a rooster coming in to break up the fight only to get pecked at by a big mother hen.

“Are you scared?”

“’M terrified. People die every day in the military. What if I die? What if the people I’m with die?” Simon felt her shift closer and he laid his arm out, beckoning her into his side.

“Yeah, but I don’t think you will. At least, I hope you won’t,” Harley mused, “it’d be nice to see you again.”

“Can I write to you?”

Her head shot up to look directly into Simon’s blue eyes.

“Write to me?”

“Yeah, like...your grandparents. Write you letters while I’m in training,” he said, his voice quieting as he spoke. Harley’s faint smile grew into a beaming one and Simon couldn’t bite back his own smile.

“I’d love that.”

“I know it’s, well, a bit old school, but I don’t have anyone else to talk to while I’m there.”

“The abusive piece of shit,” Harley mumbled. Simon just nodded before continuing.

“The abusive piece of shit, yeah. My brother, Tommy...he’s gone off the deep end and mum’s basically catatonic. So, maybe I could have a good memory of home if I write you. Maybe call you sometimes.”

Harley turned onto her side, one arm tossed over Simon’s chest and the other twisting a loose thread from his sleeve between her fingers. A soft breeze shook the tall grass around them and Simon almost wanted to tear up his ticket. If only he hadn’t already signed the enlistment papers.

“I’d really like that, Simon.”

They fell back into a peaceful silence, just listening to the grass wave around them and the birds chirp from the tree line a few meters away.

“Shit, dessert!” Harley sat up and turned to the basket.

“You’re still hungry?” Simon laughed. Harley tossed him a half glare as she dug two plates from the basket.

“I’ll have you know, Mr. Riley, that I’ve never not been hungry for dessert. Now, I have one, really fucking good American dessert here,” she raised one plate, “and one really shitty British dessert,” she raised the other, “pick.”

“Well, what are they,” he asked, reaching for one of the plates. He’d already forgotten which was which, too focused on the grin on her face as she mocked whatever British dish she’d made. Harley pulled the plates away from him with a tut.

“Pick one and then I’ll tell you,” she said. Simon rolled his eyes but he couldn’t stop smiling at her.

“The American.”

“Perfect! Some deep fried Oreos,” she said, unwrapping the plate to reveal a row of breaded cookies. Simon mocked a gag at her, but picked one up. “Was a bitch to get Drew to let me use the fryer.”

“’S no wonder your entire country is fat,” he mumbled as he bit into it. Simon hated to admit that it was delectable and equally as unhealthy as the burger she’d given him earlier. Harley chuckled at him as his eyes closed and he shoved the rest of the cookie into his mouth and groaned. The crinkling of foil caught his attention and one eye peeked open to see her dig a fork into the other plate.

“What’s that?”

“Nufin’,” she mumbled through a bite of it. Simon sat up more and leaned towards her, but Harley hid it behind her back.

“Is that a tart?”

“What did you just call me,” Harley let out a fake gasp and pressed the hand with a fork in it against her heart. Simon laughed, but leaned closer to her. “Any farther and I’ll squish it.”

“Then tell me what the British dessert is,” Simon said. He pressed a hand to the blanket beside her and could hear the breath hitch in Harley’s throat as his face got close to hers. “Harley?”

“Manchester tart,” she whispered. Simon’s lips curled into a smirk as he reached his free hand around her to grab the plate. He set it down out of the way and leaned closer.

“Make it yourself?” She nodded and he slipped the fork from her grasp. “Taste good?” Harley shook her head. “No?”

“Hate cherries. And coconut’s only good in a drink,” she said, “is there a reason you’re still so close to me?”

“You ensnared me in some kind of trap, Harley,” Simon said, “you’re kind and can’t seem to stop smiling no matter what. Like that little grin on your face right now.” She let out a hoarse giggle.

“I think I like you, Simon Riley.”

“I think I do too,” Simon pressed a kiss to her cheek before he sat back, digging the fork into the tart and eating the bite. Harley’s hand shook lightly as she picked up an Oreo and shoved the entire cookie into her mouth. She turned to watch the open field. One over, a family of deer stepped around and ate and a car drove by, spooking them back to the trees.

“You will come back, right?” Harley watched Simon from the corner of her eye. He’d eaten another Oreo, letting out a quiet groan at the taste. “To see me?”

“If they let me, I’ll come back to you,” he said.

“Promise?”

Simon didn’t reply, just held out the fork with tart on it. Harley took the bite and felt her smile falter just a little.

They ate the remaining desserts in silence, half uncomfortable and half savoring the company of each other. Simon had pulled her into his lap as he ate the rest of the tart himself, tapping a single bit of cherry juice on her cheek before licking it off. They shared the remaining Oreos, though Simon insisted she have more since he ate most of the tart. Harley lifted his wrist, glaring down at the watch to try to read it.

“It’s only six,” Simon said after a minute of her struggling.

“How long were you going to watch me struggle with that before you told me? We should head back into town,” she said, her voice cracking. He only nodded and tapped her legs to get her to stand.

“Do you come out here often?”

“Enough that the farmer told me this was my field. He lets me leave the blanket here,” she said as she cleaned up their dinner. Grabbing the full basket, Simon stood and rolled his shoulders out. Harley took his hand and began leading him back to the car.

She kept her head down as they walked, thinking about if he would actually write her while he was training. Was it even allowed? He could just email her or call her, but she wasn’t even sure if he would have access to a computer or phone while he was training. Harley was thinking so hard that she hadn’t even registered the gate was ahead and ran straight into it. Simon chuckled as she floundered to get it open and a blush rose on her cheeks. It never cooled as she opened the trunk and left Simon to secure the basket while she got into the driver’s seat.

The old MG rumbled to life as Simon got in beside her. But still, neither spoke as she drove back into Manchester proper and pulled to a stop in front of Rosario’s. Simon reached down to open the door, but Harley was already out and held a hand up for him to stop.

“I’ll drive you to the station,” she said as she disappeared into the pub to grab his bag. Simon didn’t get to hear as Richie asked her how the date went and if she was leaving them to go to London along with him. There was a squeak from Harley as she snatched Simon’s bag and ran back to the car.

“Harley, I can’t promise you something I can’t be sure of,” Simon said as she pulled back into traffic. Her eyes flicked over to him but she never turned her head. “But I will promise not to forget you ever.”

“I’ll forgive you when you do,” she whispered to herself. Simon heard her. The drive to the train station was short and Harley begrudgingly let Simon pay for her to park while they went inside together.

Hauling his bag onto his shoulder, Simon yanked Harley into his chest and buried his face in her hair. It startled him when he felt her shake in his arms, but he didn’t flinch at it.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know why I’m so fucking emotional about you leaving,” she laughed, the sound bitter in Simon’s ears. He pulled back and pressed his hands to her cheeks.

“If I hadn’t signed those papers two days ago, I would have torn up this ticket already,” he said, “but I promise you that I’ll never forget you or the only good memory of home I’ll ever have, okay?”

She could only nod at him.

The speaker overhead called out for his train and Simon brought her lips to his. Despite everything, he was soft and it only caused the ache in Harley’s chest to deepen as she pressed onto her toes to kiss him back. A hand came around her waist and he stepped into her body. Her hand drew up his chest and to his neck, begging to be let into his skin so he couldn’t leave her. The kiss tasted like Manchester and the American South so evenly and Simon could add it to the short list of places he wanted to visit some day.

The speaker crackled again and Simon broke the kiss.

“Gimme your address,” he whispered as a tear streaked down Harley’s cheek. Wiping at it, she nodded and Simon glanced around for a piece of paper. Anything to write on. A train schedule caught his eye and he snatched it out of the holder along with a pen discarded nearby.

Harley wrote it, her hands shaking as she did, and slipped it into the pocket of his duffel bag.

“It’s not really my place, but please come back to me,” she said as she pressed her hands flat on his green shirt, “or at least tell me if you die.”

Simon let a quiet laugh slip out and he shook his head, “I’ll be sure to let you know if I die.”

It wasn’t a promise. They both knew better than to promise that. He was going to be a soldier after all.

The final call came and his hands pried hers off his shoulders. Stepping back, Simon felt her hand press something into his but he couldn’t ask her what it was before the train doors began to close and she stepped into the crowd. Unfurling his hand, the brassy MG keychain sat in his palm. He’d always hated the little convertible but there was no way he could anymore.

Harley rubbed her face as the train pulled away. In her pocket, her phone rang out and she answered.

”Take the week off, Har, go home and sleep,” Drew said.

“Yeah, yeah, okay,” she mumbled back. Drew ended the call without another word and she inched out of the station and into the MG.

“You idiot,” she hissed at herself, “you went and fell in love with a soldier the first day you ever met him. You absolute,” her head slammed into the steering wheel, “fucking idiot.”

inspired by Travelin' Solider by the Chicks. also fully posted on AO3

dividers by @/cafekitsune

[laurrelise]

ummmm ok so new dark comedy thriller where helly r (britt lower) and leonard peabody / harold jenkins (john magaro) are married and steve buscemi is their retired serial killer marriage counselor. what timeline are we living in oh my god

also natalie from severance is also in it??? like

severance + umbrella academy + steve buscemi fans rise up i guess????

[leupagus]

So I rewatched "Jumpin' Jack Flash," aka the best spy movie ever made, and looked to find that there is ONE fic for that movie and it's not even a Terry/Jack/Peter OT3 like God intended and so sometimes you have to be the change you want to see in the world

x

Peter catches a flight to DC the day after Jack and Terry finally have their dinner together.

He’d planned to stay in New York for a few more days — catch up with Jack, make his case to Terry again that she had the makings of a world-class Company woman, find out what had actually happened these past two weeks while he’d been flailing around undercover and the two of them had apparently been taking down the biggest mole operation in the past ten years — but then he goes to Jack’s apartment that morning and knocks on the door and Terry opens it.

“Mart— Peter, fuck, Peter, Peter, I swear to God I’m gonna get it eventually, see, this is why I can’t be a spy, do you understand what I'm saying?” she laughs as she ushers him in, all sunshine grin and and sparkling eyes. She’s wearing one of Jack’s rugby shirts that hangs halfway down her thighs and a pair of penguin-shaped slippers, and it’s like getting smacked with the tennis racket all over again. Only this time he doesn’t have the luxury of showing the pain.Instead he has to smile back and shake his head as she takes his coat, has to follow her in where Jack’s already making breakfast — “Something called a full English, which I’m pretty sure is what I had last night,” Terry says, nudging Peter in the ribs.

“Complete with sausage,” Jack replies as he pulls out a third plate. Terry laughs. Happiness looks good on her. Good on them both. When was the last time Peter had seen Jack happy? “I’ve champagne in the fridge, sweetheart, if you’d be so good.”

Peter turns to Terry, to offer to get it instead, but she’s looking at him expectantly. “‘Sweetheart’ is your nickname now,” she informs him. She makes a big show of propping her elbow up on the counter. “I told Jack I’m only accepting ‘darling.’ He says it so nice, don’t you think? ‘Daaahling.’ Not an ‘r’ in sight, it’s great.”

“Sure,” Peter says around the stone in his throat, and he slides off the stool to squeeze past Jack to his fridge. There’s champagne and orange juice, along with a half-dozen things Jack’s never eaten in his life and probably wouldn’t at gunpoint: Terry’s favorites.

He manages to eat something, though when he thinks back on it later he has no idea what it was or how much, and makes his excuses as quick as he can. Terry gives him a kiss on the cheek and retreats to the bedroom to change, but Jack walks down the stairs with him and down to the street.

“I’ve put in my resignation to Department C,” he says, without preamble the way he always does. Jack’s never believed in small talk with his friends; he’s claimed for years that it’s because with friends, you grow closer through silence, but Peter thinks it’s just because he hates the tedium of it. “They weren’t happy, but Archer’s made noises about a job at the company, which may prove more suitable. Considering,” he adds with a glance back toward his apartment.

It conveys a lot. Too much. But Peter’s field assessments have always lauded his attention to detail; his care in confirming information. So he can blame his training for the way he says, “So you’re serious. About,” and he gestures back in the same direction.

Jack looks up at him, surprise in his expression. Is he surprised? Jack’s had flings before: with civilians, with other agents. There’s a persistent rumor that he and Talbot had some sort of mutual understanding for a while, which was why Talbot had such an easy time convincing MI5 Jack had turned; no one can betray you quite like the people you’ve slept with. Or the people you love.

“I’m serious,” Jack says, and Peter nods and claps him on the back and hails a cab and gets the hell out of there.

[bruciemilf]

I have a weakness for the “big grumpy man” and “sunshine incarnate” dynamic

[sweetnnaivete]

unfortunately my roman empire is the star wars sequels because what a load of garbage that could’ve been avoided if the people in charge of the films actually gave a shit. and it’s a problem that honestly i notice happening more and more to franchises these days :/ the disneyfication of everything is starting to get to me because GOD

[akascow]

man yellowjackets would be so much better if it didnt keep cutting back to the present day

[wabbitears]

feddy movie

[gloriousmonsters]

the hunt (2020) is 2/3 of a goofy gory extremely-shallowly-political-sorta horror movie stapled to a third act that turns it into a weird kind of genius. actually putting in a cut for spoilers bc it is best Experienced, but

like it's going along like haha heads blowing up people saying recognizable conservative and liberal buzzwords and it's really all people believing what they want to believe and using different justifications for what they'd be doing anyway, right? it's just... just...

...what if in the end, it just came down to two women whose real motivation, whose driving force, is simply rage, is simply the animal desire to kill, the need to take all this uncivilized visceral hunger for violence and put it somewhere, find a worthy opponent to exhaust it on, a real fight with life on the line? what then? what if they ripped apart the facade of a perfect upscale kitchen as they beat the shit out of each other, drawing blood and grappling each other in paradoxical intimacy? what if I impaled you on the double-edged blade that you impaled me with? and we were both girls? and what if you hissed, elated, "I got you," and I, blood on my mouth, whispered back, "I got you too."? what if, in the end, this isn't about winning because you have the right beliefs--it's about who's alive and who's dead. and i lived. and i ate your fucking lunch and took your clothes and your shoes and your dog and your private plane, because I won. because in the end this is actually just about animal hungers, violence and violent intimacy, the sheer primal pleasure of winning. also i chugged your 1mil champagne and fucked a stewardess

[unproduciblesmackdown]

in the power of Noticing Things The Xth Time Around the instrumentals-imitative "doot. doot. doot. dooWAH" vocals that kick in during the second verse of centerfold? superlative

[coridallasmultipass]

.

[pencilcult]

monday night i decided to rewatch poor things instead of sleeping and it is the best decision i've ever made in a long fucking while

[pa-pa-plasma]

would love to see a fantasy world or magic school or whatever where they just use pigeons. like yeah crows & owls & hawks are cool but what about my boy the humble pigeon. owls & hawks aren't really long distance flyers so are not good for sending messengers & do NOT make good pets, magic or not, & crows could be trained to send messages but they're not domesticated & would probably love to just go off & do their own thing once bored of these repetitive, low reward tasks. pigeons, though. pigeons will never betray you

[pedgito]

𝐀𝐂𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐒 | Harry Castillo x reader

↝ masterlist | requests? | ao3 | update blog | fic rec | ko-fi

summary | Five years of being his assistant and five years of failed attempts at finding love with your help, but maybe the obvious answer has been there the entire time. Alternatively, you fucked your boss? Uh-oh.

author's note | harry...randy...who knows. i'll change it if needed but given the name tag, this is what i'm sticking with for now. skip the lecture about not writing until the movie is out, this isn't hurting anyone so don't bother me about it, xo. the horny demons always win. i listened to this song i repeat while i wrote, felt fitting.

content warning | 18+ MDNI, power imbalance (boss/assistant), work wife/work husband type beat, mentions of failed dating, being superficial, mentions of sugar daddy things, expensive gifts, reader is a godly assistant with a will stronger than mine, he smokes, they drink, sex while inebriated, he's down so bad, also oral!, tense morning after, open-ended

word count — 4.5k

You knew him better than anyone.

From his breakfast order down to his specific choice of underwear, like you weren’t making the weekly purchases and filling up his rarely used fridge in the apartment that was way out your price range, arranging his schedule down to the minute, booking his flights, packing his bag.

Really, Harry should just marry you.

…it was more of a joke, but you’ve teased him about it once or twice.

He called you his work wife anyways, but in reality, you were just his assistant.

He did trust you with his life, though.

More importantly, his love life.

“Kim flaked,” he tells you over coffee, perched at his kitchen island as you typed away on your laptop, looking up briefly with eyes that begged for him to explain, he does and makes a show about, mimicking a more feminine voice as he relays the message she gave him, “same song and dance—you’re great and fun but I can’t do anything serious right now,”

“Were you nice?” you ask curiously.

Harry rolls his eyes at that, like it was a stupid question to ask. But, eventually he nods.

“Did you ask questions?” you continue, fingers folding over the screen of your laptop to close it.

“Plenty, she works in finance, loves the color blue, wants to travel,” he could go on and on, throwing his hands up in defeat before they slump to his side, “maybe I should try out a real matchmaker—not that you’re bad at it—”

“You think I’m bad at it,” you smile knowingly, “don’t you?”

“No,” you’re unconvinced, “besides—you’re my assistant, I never meant for that type of responsibility to fall on you, you know?”

“I’m doing both of us a favor,” you remind him, “I think…it just takes time.”

And fortunately, all you had was time.

It felt pointless for Harry to spend a chunk of cash to have someone pair him up with the supposed love of his life, though you knew that money wasn’t a problem, you felt a weird responsibility to protect him, unsure how quickly someone would take advantage of his kindness.

“There’s a gala,” you tell him offhandedly, “next week. I already cleared your schedule for it. I think…maybe you should just peruse this time.”

“Peruse?” he chuckles, eyes creasing in amusement, his crow’s feet deepening with the emotion, “You’re a control freak, you sure about that?”

“That’s just mean,” you retort, “you’re paying me anyways—if you didn’t like it you’d fire me.”

He knew you were right, sipping quietly at his coffee in response.

He was frustrating, predictable, and painfully superficial. 

Every date was an exercise in appearances—perfectly tailored suits, dinner at the most exclusive places, charm turned up to eleven. And yet, none of it ever stuck. He was overcompensating and you weren’t sure why.

He was a good guy, down to his core, and in the five years you had worked with him there was never a moment you thought he didn’t deserve love, he was perfect. Too perfect.

That was the problem.

“You know, you’re like prime age to be a sugar daddy,” you tease him, knowing how he felt about the topic, “there’s plenty of apps that I can—”

“You’re relentless,” he grumbles, “if you ever did that, I’m firing you on the spot.”

“You wouldn’t,” it was a gentle challenge, smirk flashing across your face as he returned it with fondness, “without me you would crash and burn, Mr. Castillo.”

And he knows it.

–

The gala is a bust.

So, as a bandaid to his wounded ego, you order takeout and keep him company in his big, lavish apartment—it wasn’t the first time, it wouldn’t be the last.

You knew what the issue was, but there was a sinking feeling in your stomach that told you he wouldn’t receive the information well.

It was after every failed date, every expensive dinner.

They saw him at the surface, the charming man with an easy, warm smile.

You saw the man who kicked his shoes off and stripped himself of his suit jacket the second he walked through the door, who couldn’t resist a late-night binge of his newest streaming obsession, someone who insisted on stirring his coffee counterclockwise because it made it taste better, a man would text you pictures of squirrels in the park that he would feed on his way home.

It wasn’t that you were pining over him. You just knew him better than anyone.

“Why are you so dead set on marriage?” you ask him over dinner, turned toward him on the couch as he reaches for the remote to pause the show on screen.

He’s had this conversation before, but he’s never asked you any questions on the matter.

“What’s your opinion on it?” he’s avoiding, clearly, but you’ll bite.

“I don’t date, I’m not interested, signing a piece of paper isn’t going to signify my feelings toward someone if it came down to that,” you admit, “I’m not cynical, marriage is fine, but this stuff takes time,”

“Well, I’m not getting any younger,” Harry gripes, arms reaching over the back of the couch as he mirrors your position.

“Oh, please,” you scoff, “you’re forty-nine.”

“Almost fifty,” he corrects, “I’m ancient.”

“O-kay,” you sigh, “do you want honesty?”

“I’d hope you were being honest with me all the time.”

“No,” you laugh softly, “like…brutal fucking honesty?”

He’s silent, but attentive. 

“You keep choosing women who treat you like they’re next getaway vacation and you fall for it every time,” his forehead creases at the words, looking hurt by your words, “I see your bank payments every month, the activity—”

“It’s not like money is an issue,” he defends, causing you to sigh dramatically and fall back against the arm of the couch in faux distress.

“This is impossible,” you groan, staring up at the ceiling before you feel his hand circle around your wrist, tugging gently,

“Okay, I’m listening,” Harry says softly, pulling you upright, “I’m sorry—I am.”

“You want it to work so bad,” you tell him, “I see it—every time you approach someone you put on that smile and it works, but you’re giving so much and yeah, maybe some of them like that, but I’m sure a few would just enjoy a nice dinner here, or something simple. I think you forget to realize that someone can just be interested in you, for you, not for what you are or have,”

It’s profound, the way his face softens at your words, his touch still lingering around your wrist.

You’ve never even considered or entertained the idea that you might find Harry attractive or even attainable—for one, you had signed a contract that agreed to a professional work relationship, as a benefit for both of you, not that he ever had any intention to begin with.

You’ve been with him for so long, it feels, a fresh and young mind to help keep him active and busy, constantly refreshing ideas and helping him not feel like he was stuck, and you were damn good at taking care of him when he’s often tended to neglect himself.

The only thing you know is that he’s never looked at you like that.

Like you could see straight through him, all his flaws on display.

But, that was because you knew all of them.

You knew everything about him, even the worse bits.

His bad habits, his self-inflicting ones, everything that he refused to bring to the surface.

Harry’s fingers still lingered around your wrist, the weight of your words sinking in. 

But then, just like he always did, he broke the tension with a huff of laughter and frowns as he brushed you off.

“You just think I’m a sucker, don’t you?”

You shook your head with a faint smile, returning your arm to your lap.

“No—I think you like to see the good in people. So much good that you’re willing to ignore red flags.”

“Jeez,” he chuckled, clutching his stomach like you had physically wounded him, “that hurt.”

You shrugged and reached for the remote to resume the picture on screen, “You’ll survive.”

–

It was your day off—Sunday, the one day.

“Have you seen my cufflinks laying around?” he asked over the video call, “Shit—my tie, too. I can’t find it anywhere. I thought you said you laid it out for me.”

“No, I said I had it hung up and for you to lay it out before you showered,” you correct him, laying tiredly on your couch as you watched him search around frantically, hair damp and his bare shoulders on display, only catching the briefest glimpses of the towel around his waist as he turned the camera around, “Waitwait—go back!”

“There’s no fucking way you saw it,” Harry argues, “I’ve been looking for the last ten minutes—”

“In the pocket of your suit, the tie is there,” you tell him, “and given that you probably tossed the suit on the bed like you always do, the cufflinks are probably somewhere hiding under the blanket,”

He tosses you against the mattress, your screen succumbing to darkness as you wait, some shifting of the sheets before you hear him make a sound before he appears again, cufflinks pinched between his fingers and a look of defeat on his face.

“What would you do without me?” you ask with a cocky grin, finger hovering over the end call button as he shakes his head.

“What was this for again?” Harry asks curiously, laying you down upright as you caught a glimpse of his bare chest as he shrugged the crisp, white button down over his shoulders.

“It’s a charity auction, your favorite,” you chirp, “and you’re flying solo, so—don’t do anything stupid or…crass,”

“If I paid you double a day of work would you go?” Harry asks after a long pause, glancing down at the screen, “Triple?”

“Triple?!” you gawk, “see—you’re insane, this is what I’m talking about,”

He chuckles despite your response, “You’re good at keeping the sharks away,”

There were particular hawking businessmen who made it their mission to hunt Harry down at events and keep him occupied, eager to do business, whatever it may be—you were the unspoken master of redirection, as much as he refused to admit it.

“Can we grab dinner on the way?” 

“Burgers?” Harry asks, perking up slightly.

It was a constant go-to for you and him.

You nod through the screen, “Don’t even bother with the tie either, I’ll do it.”

–

“I can’t believe you roped me into this on my day off,” you whisper at his side, earning a half-smirk from him.

The charity auction was as lavish as you’d expected.

Crystal chandeliers, gold accents, and far too much champagne and hors d'oeuvres. 

Harry’s hand found the small of your back the moment you arrived, steering you through a sea of designer gowns and tuxedos, feeling uncomfortable in the tight dress and stilettos that you only wore on rare occasions, biting at your heels.

“You’ll survive,” he grins, grabbing you both a glass of champagne and pressing it into your waiting fingers, “I’m gonna…peruse, alright?”

“Don’t say it—that just makes you sound like a creep,” your face scrunches up in disgust as you sip at the alcohol, “just go—go, I’ll…handle everything else.”

The evening passed in a blur of small talk and polite smiles, but somewhere between the endless speeches and bidding wars, you found yourself on the balcony, the cool night air a welcome relief in the stuffy ballroom.

You smell him before you see him, the thick and rich scent of his cologne so familiar you swear you could find him on that alone, turning over your shoulder to see him closing the door quietly, cigarette pack tucked in his palm as he approached with a neutral expression.

“You okay?” you ask, leaning against the railing of the balcony.

Harry sighed, rubbing the back of his neck and then plucking a single cigarette from the box, “Honestly? I’m just tired of it.”

“The auctions? Charity?” you inquire, a small smile tugging at your face.

“All of it.” He looked at you, his gaze lingering as he lit the tobacco, “The events, the dates, searching for—I don’t even fucking know at this point,”

“The offer stands…” you say jokingly, though he knows exactly where this is heading.

“If I wanted a sugar baby I’d find one.”

Your eyes roam over his figure as he puffs at the cigarette, pulling a deep laugh from his chest before you’re pushing him away playfully.

“Let’s go,” he tells you with a deep sigh, stubbing out the end of the cigarette and tucking it away for later, tossing his arm over your shoulder as he readied to guide you through the crowd, always protective in spaces like this, another thing that was special to him.

–

The ride home is quiet, like it always is, both of you sitting in the backseat with the partition up, watching as he looked through his phone with a scowl, occasional typing and sending a message.

Eventually, he looks at you.

“Thank you,” He says with a soft tone, “I know this isn’t your favorite thing to do.”

You tilted your head into the headrest and smiled, crossing one thigh over the other as you worked at your heels to remove them, “Oh, it wasn’t that bad—the free alcohol is always a plus.”

He chuckled at that, silently helping you remove your shoes with a soft squeeze to your foot.

That was normal—but, it forces you to pause.

His natural instinct to help, to touch, to comfort you.

Your brow furrows at the gesture before you shake it away, blaming it on the buzz of alcohol in your system, watching as he continues the gesture with the other foot.

“Having you there makes it bearable, is all,” he explains, looking up at you briefly as he undid the tie around your ankle, “you…calm me, I guess.”

You swallowed. Hard.

The warmth of his words lingering in your chest, in his touch against your ankle, “You’d do the same for me.”

And he would—if you ever needed anything, anything, Harry was there.

“Yeah,” he agreed quietly, “without question.”

The sincerity caught you off guard. 

You turned to study him, the familiar slope of his nose, the line of his jaw. There was something about the way he looked tonight—tired, maybe, but softer. 

And he keeps looking at you, checking.

The car moved smoothly through the dimly lit streets, the city blurring past in streaks of gold and blues and reds. The hum of the engine was steady, the faint sound of music barely audible from the front, through the glass, the back lit up dimly by the trim of lights on the roof and door.

Harry leaned back, one hand moved against the seat, his other hand dragging slowly over his thigh—restless. 

Instinctually, without thinking, you reached for his hand.

It wasn’t purposeful. Just a simple act of absentmindedness.

You’ve done it a hundred times before. 

Tugged at his sleeves to fix his cufflinks, brushed lint from his lapel or pants, adjusted the collar of his shirts. Constantly fixed his hair, touching him wasn’t new.

His skin was warm. Not hot, not cold.

You felt the slight twitch of his hand, like he was debating whether to move. Instead, his fingers shifted, just a fraction, enough that the edge of his thumbnail brushed over the inside of your wrist.

The contact was thoughtless, nothing.

But, in the same moment, it felt like everything.

The way his eyes watched the movement, roamed your body like they had before but with a different implication, his eyes half-lidded and relaxed, wondering how much alcohol he had consumed himself—this wasn’t friendly.

And it definitely wasn’t professional.

Harry’s gaze was on you now, your face, as you couldn’t tear your eyes away from his hand.

Then his thumb moved. 

Up. 

Barely. 

A soft drag along your pulse.

It was half a decade of avoidance, defeat in his heart and mind, and fear in your own.

Broken, by the car rolling to a stop outside of Harry’s apartment building.

“We’re here, Mr. Castillo,” the voice of the driver came from the front, a nod of acknowledgement as his hand slipped from yours.

“Oh, hold on,” you were scooting aside to let him out, readied for the next stop as he cocks his head toward the building, “I’ve got something for you—I’ll drive you home, don’t worry,”

“Harry,” you stress, looking down at his hand that waves you toward him, extending out for you to grab, insistently as his fingers wiggle in wait.

Turns out, he wasn’t totally lying.

That something was accompanied by a seven thousand dollar bottle of Leroz Aux Brulees—you knew that because you had purchased it during his trip to France, the supposed city of love.

“I’m going to murder you,” you tell him as he places the bottle on the counter and keeps the closed case of mystery at his side, “hide your body, flee country—I hate surprises, you know that.”

“I think you’ll like this one,” he grins, popping the cork on the bottle and pouring two hefty glasses, eyeing the deep red as it glugged into the glass.

“You know, if you wanted company you could have just asked,” you tell him, “I get it, you’re lonely,”

He knows you’re only teasing but it stings nonetheless, both of you taking a long and heavy sip as his fingers swirl over the velvet casing before he’s pushing it over quickly, tapping it with his fingers, “Open it,” he encourages, eyeing you over the rim.

You place your glass down and pry it open slowly, carefully, like you were deconstructing a bomb, but as the piece inside comes into view you find yourself at a loss for words or thoughts.

Your eyes are wide, staring up at him with parted lips that tingled from the lingering alcohol, knowing you should have cut yourself off at one glass of champagne and refused to come inside, that you should have just went home and enjoyed what little bit of the day you had left to yourself.

Now, you were looking back at a necklace so delicate you were afraid to stare at it too long, embedded with a cluster of diamonds and nearly two years of your rent if you were doing the math correctly in your mind.

Always about the numbers, Harry constantly teased.

“I saw how you looked at it the other day,” he admits, “and I owe you a hell of a lot more, but it…I’m trying to say thank you for…being you,”

“I’m not taking that,” you refuse with a laugh of disbelief, sliding back over to him gently, downing the rest of your wine in one go to forget how fast your heart was beating in your chest.

“You are,” Harry insists, “consider it a bonus—Christmas is in a couple months, too.”

“You know…this is exactly that kind of stuff a sugar da—”

Harry makes a noise, shaking his head.

You bite your lip in thought, ignoring his subtle annoyance at your comment.

It was fucking beautiful, really.

You sigh, using one finger to turn the case back toward you, examining it closely.

Quietly, Harry presses his glass into the counter and rounds the edge toward you, his chest at your shoulder as he reaches for the jewelry, working carefully at the clasp before he’s motioning for you to relax your shoulders.

It wasn’t the stillness of the moment, but his touch, again.

He’s methodical in the way he touches you, dragging his hand around your neck as he fits the necklace into place, his fingertips pressing against the column of your throat in a way that tickles slightly, shifting uncomfortably until you hear the faint click and he breathes behind you, hands resting at your shoulders.

You’re not sure why he hasn’t moved, but you find yourself turning to speak.

“I’m just going to call an uber,” you tell him, “probably shouldn’t drive since we’ve both been drinking,”

“Yeah,” he agrees, but it sounds hollow, his eyes not following you as you move.

You hop from the chair and bend down to grab your shoes, but his hand is curling around your bicep and pulling you up and he’s staring again, the charge of his touch sending a jolt through your body as freeze,

“Come here,” he beckons, too natural.

And you listen.

He’s soft, every part of him. Skin, clothes, hair, lips.

He’s kissing you gently, like you might break, but you can tell he wants more.

Needs more.

“Are you going to regret this tomorrow?” you find yourself asking as he parts from you, licking at his lips as you both take a breath, letting the moment settle.

He shakes his head, “Are you?”

“Maybe,” you answer honestly, “maybe…not—fuck, I don’t know,”

“It doesn’t have to mean anything,” he promises, but you knew that was a lie.

Still, you nod in understanding.

–

He’s so tender with his touch, slipping you out of the dress in the dim light of his room.

Even softer as he guides you to your back and spreads himself on his belly between your legs, fingers interlocked with his at your hips as he buries his nose between your folds, his tongue splitting your cunt open in a sharp gasp that has you throwing your head back. His lips traced a slow, deliberate path down your body, igniting sparks along every inch of your skin. 

He kissed along the curve of your thighs, teasing, tasting, until the tension was unbearable and with each flick of his tongue, each gentle suck, it pulled you deeper into a haze of heady desire. 

This was reckless, dangerous, but neither of you found the moment to pause and think.

You wonder if things had been building to this for a while—if it was always supposed to happen this way or if he was acting off of greed; lust and companionship, even if just for a night.

You know you can ask him to stop at any point and he would, but even as his tongue brings you to your first orgasm of the night and he’s guiding you to your stomach, reaching blindly into his bedside table for a foil wrapping the crinkles loudly in the silence, you want this.

It was embarrassing how badly you wanted this.

He fucks you slow, too. 

It was torturous, his chest flat against your back as he palms his cock and feeds it into you.

You don’t talk, neither does he.

But, his low moans and stuttering breaths speak for him.

If you could see him, you’d know how furrowed his brow would be, a hand sliding over the curve of your ass until he can reach your thigh, beckoning for you to raise it without speaking.

You oblige, the angle of his thrusts changing on a dime.

“I can’t believe you’re real sometimes,” he admits like he’s confessing a sin.

“Please,” you plead—please stop talking, please keep going, please fuck me.

You couldn’t decide.

You feel him nod where his forehead is pressed between your shoulder blades as his fist curls into the sheet beside your head.

“Another, gimme another,” he pleads, the fingers on his other hand curling under your neck to life your chin, not expecting to meet his eyes as he leans over you.

The expression on his face so raw it makes you flutter around him, his lips parting in a deep, guttural groan, “I know you can,” he nods hurriedly.

And damn, does the praise work.

Your whimper breaks him, breathing out shakily as you locked eyes when he comes, slow and forceful thrusts until you’re nothing but an exhausted pile of tangled limbs.

“Greedy girl,” he comments through the haze, a weak giggle bubbling from your chest.

He pulls out slowly, a low grunt as he does so.

You’re not sure when you fall asleep, but you wake to a startling amount of weight over your stomach, an arm splayed possessively, the faint outline of a ring as you drag your hand over the limb.

It’s only as your eyes pry open that reality hits you, stumbling out of bed quickly.

No…nononono, where the fuck were your clothes? Jesus.

You stumble around half awake, searching for the silk dress on the floor, feeling accomplished when you find it and hastily redressing yourself as Harry stirs in bed, encouraging you to hurry, to slip out before he can say anything.

Your shoes are already on and you’re reaching for the doorknob when the voice comes, the weight of the necklace that still remained on your neck, two empty glasses of wine on the counter, a night of hasty choices and urgency laid out like a crime scene as his voice rings out from behind you, pleading.

“Don’t—don’t go,” Harry begs, “You don’t have to go,”

So much of this was wrong—it complicated everything.

Your life, your job, your relationship with him.

He can see you slipping, fingers inching toward the knob as he approaches you in a hurry, barefoot and shirtless, the kind of scene you shouldn’t be comforted with, like this was all normal to the both of you.

You’ve seen him like this a thousand times, but not when he’s looking at you so vulnerable, heart tore open and stapled to his chest, beating against your own as his hands splayed out over your cheeks.

“I don’t regret it,” he assures you again, “so please—stay, okay?”

“What changed?” you ask, voice trembling, “Five years, Harry. Five.”

“I’ve been running in circles this entire time,” he admits, “you know it—I know it.”

You had been there the entire time, learning every part of him without judgement, cataloging his flaws and skills, learning how he ticked and what motivated him. You had never quite settled on the ideal person to fit in his life as his partner, it surely wasn’t you.

It couldn’t be you.

“Please, don’t go,” Harry echoed once more.

The sick, cruel joke of it all was that this was your job. 

You had nowhere to go. If it was any other morning, you would just be arriving, leaving his breakfast in the kitchen and starting your day.

You nod solemnly, “Of course, Mr. Castillo.”

It was painstaking, forcing the mask back on.

But, you couldn’t deal with this now.

Or ever, even.

Harry looks at you with a confused sadness, thumbs rubbing at your cheekbones before his hands fall to his side.

You’d figure this out, you always did.

[jeonginsleftcheek]

Dolly

pairing: hyunjin x afab!reader

synopsis: you feel lonely and buy a new sex doll on the market, not knowing what you got yourself into.

genre: smut, fluff, sci-fi

word count: 10.3k

warnings: alcohol, multiple sex scenes, unprotected sex, oral (f and m), squirting, creampies

a/n: spooktober continues🤭🫶🏻 if u love black mirror, these are vibes for u! also i'm sorry if the ending seems rushed but i have two more things to write for hyunjin before i continue with my spooktober🫠

!!! this fic has an ambiguous ending

~ divider by @bunnysrph

~ Masterlist

~ Dolly masterlist

Your cursor hovers over the 'continue to payment' button.

Are you really doing this?

It's embarassing enough that you can't get a date lately, and everyone around you keeps bugging you about it, asking when you're going to find a partner already.

Like you need one. You were perfectly fine alone.

But everyone has needs, and the ad for the new sex dolls that have just come out on the market looked enticing.

Each one of the new models was a unique one, only one of them made as it was sort of a trial run for them and your attention was captured by Hyunjin, the romantic doll.

It was expensive too, but you had money saved up on the side and thought, why not get something for your pleasure and try something new as well.

'Fuck it!', you thought and clicked on the button, purchasing the doll; there was no going back now.

Eagerly, you awaited the day it would be delivered to your door and three weeks later, there was a big box in the middle of your living room.

Biting on your lip, you stare at the box as your heartbeat quickens.

In the pictures, it looked so real. Like it was a real human being and to say you were a bit disturbed was an understatement.

But as freaky as it was, you were still so curios about it so you opened up the box slowly, your eyes wide for the peculiarity of it all. There were covers neatly placed over the doll, and bubble wrap just about everywhere, but on top of it all was a letter.

You opened it up and it read;

Hello,

my name is Hyunjin and I am your romantic doll.

I love art, good food and wine, long walks on the beach and heartwarming movies.

Please, treat me with great care as I am sensitive, and no matter what you do with me, always end it with cuddles.

Hope you come to love me as much as I already love you.

As you read that, you couldn't help being a little freaked out by the doll professing his love to you, but you had to remind yourself it's just the creators of it who wrote the letter, making the concept more real and human to give some kind of comfort to the buyer and personality to the doll.

Taking a deep breath, you remove all the bubble wrap and slide off the cover.

"Oh." you gasp loudly, your hand slapped on your mouth as you finally see the doll.

He looks too real to be just a doll and for a second you just stare into his eyes, unmoving but somehow warm, his facial features chiseled to perfection, his lips plump and inviting.

Your eyes travel down to see he was dressed in a nice button up, intricate flower patterns sewn into the material, coupled with nice pants and even some very expensive looking shoes.

The doll had jewelry on, his nails were painted, there was so much detail on it; he even had a mole under his eye. You marvelled at the dedication of the people who made it and obviously put a lot of though into Hyunjin.

You notice then that there is a note sticking out of the shirt's pocket and you carefully pick it up.

My love!

I got dressed for our first date!

Hopefully you like it and enjoy our first romantic night together.

"Wow, they really went all out with this." you say out loud as you look at the doll, the next question forming in your mind.

How heavy is the doll?

You spend a few more minutes just examining it with your eyes, too nervous to touch it and you can't get over the way it looks just like a real human being.

You rest your hand on the box, your fingertips gently grazing the doll's cheek.

"Oh!" you gasp, retracting your hand. It feels like real skin and with wide eyes your hand moves closer to his face again, your palm pressing slowly against his cheek.

"Are you alive?" you chuckle to yourself but the doll doesn't answer or move at all, just as you expected.

Your fingers slowly explore the doll's face, his lips are plushy and they seem actually kissable, the material they used, whatever it was, made it seem like they were real human lips.

You lean in closer to take a better look into his eyes, your hand coming up to play with locks of dark hair, which again, seems like real hair, the little curls are soft to the touch and bounce back as you pull on them gently.

Now you're leaning so close to him, and you can smell the nice, comforting scent radiating off of the doll. You've no idea what they used, but he smells fresh and flowery.

"Okay, let's get you out of the box." you lean back and hook your hands under the doll's arms before making it sit up.

His head falls to the side a little, making you feel a bit creeped out because it really seemed like you were handling a dead person instead of an actual doll, but the only indication that it wasn't a dead human is the lightness of it.

He wasn't as light as a feather but he wasn't as heavy as dead weight either.

"Maybe the couch?" you talk to yourself as you look over to your comfy couch, the pillows fluffed up already and a soft blanket thrown over it.

Somehow, thankfully to your regular exercise, you manage to lift the doll into your arms and carry him to the couch.

The way he slumps when you put him down, again freaks you out a little, but for some weird reason you're even more interested in how you can actually use the doll.

You prop him to sit nicely and turn on the tv to some art channel, remembering how the doll 'said' that he likes art.

"I hope that's what you enjoy." you shrug and throw the fluffy blanket over the doll's legs, folding his soft hands into his lap, before you go back to the box to find the manual.

"Here it is." you dig out the booklet and start reading.

They listed the materials but you still had no idea what they were so it flew over your head. There was also a page with pictures of the other dolls and the makers' letter to the customers, thanking them for purchasing the doll.

Flipping the pages, you find what you were looking for.

Your face becomes red as you read the doll's 'abilites', including that his thing can vibrate and cum, he reacts to your touch and that he has a usb charger that gets plugged into the back of his neck.

"W-wow." you nod to yourself as you keep reading until you flip to the last page.

WARNING!

If there are any malfunctions with any part of the doll, please contact our services.

The doll can bathe in water except the charger opening so be aware of that.

Please do not disfigure or mutilate the doll.

Do not throw the doll into the trash.

Do not break, bruise or cut the doll.

If you're not satisfied, you can always return it to us and get your money back.

If you've purchased our Hyunjin doll, do not be too harsh on him considering he's sensitive.

Hope you enjoy the romantic soul you chose!

Bruise? The doll can bruise?

Why are they talking about it like it's alive?

You gulp and turn to look at the couch but the doll is unmoving, turned towards the tv, same position as before.

You peek back into the big box to find another, smaller box inside it, that was beneath the doll's feet earlier.

You carefully take it out, putting it on the floor and opening it curiously.

Inside, you found a change of clothes, more casual looking ones and something to be used as sleep wear. It was like getting a Barbie doll with all her outfits when you were a kid.

So bizzare, yet it made you feel excited in a way.

After getting up, you decide to clean up the mess you made with the bubble wrap and put the box away in your closet, just in case, if you ever wanted to return him.

"Okay." you nod and come back to peek at the doll.

The television screen reflects in his eyes, his hands crossed in his lap, just how you left him and relief washes over you.

Why are you even scared?

You shake your head and decide to prepare lunch.

You're in your kitchen, listening to some slow music as you cook, completely forgetting about the doll sitting in your living room.

That is, until the volume of the tv suddenly increases making you jolt and gasp.

Your back straightens as you turn off the stove.

Slowly turning around, you stare at the direction the sound is coming from.

You swallow and make your way to your couch, you don't know what to expect but the doll is still in the same position you left it, the tv remote is out of his reach, down on the coffee table.

You grab it and decrease the volume before looking back at the doll.

"If that wasn't you, we have ghosts in this apartment. But if it was you, you're obviously wanting my attention." you cross your arms as you stare at him.

Nothing.

"Fine, I will eat lunch with you." you declare before going back to the kitchen to get yourself food.

You mostly eat in front of your tv anyways, not caring about any rules since you live alone, enjoying the freedom it brings you.

Settling down next to Hyunjin, you pull the blanket over your legs too and start eating.

You chuckle to yourself, if someone saw you right now, they'd think you're absolutely insane, sitting down next to an inanimate doll that looks eerily human.

You take a peek at Hyunjin, sighing as he sits still.

"You do look alive. But I'm literally talking to myself." you say and of course get no answer.

Shrugging, you continue about your day, washing dishes and doing laundry, enjoying your selfcare routine after getting your apartment in order, your Hyunjin doll observing your movements from the couch.

In the evening hours, you finally come back to him.

"Are you tired of being in the same position?" you ask, knowing there will be no answer.

"We can have dinner now." you add and leave to the kitchen to bring out some food and a bottle of wine.

"This is insane. Top 5 weirdest things I've done." you talk to yourself as you look down at your black satin nightgown, with lace details on the top, perfectly resting on your chest. "Maybe it even takes up the first place."

You settle next to Hyunjin once again, changing his position a little as you fill up two glasses of wine.

"Our first date, I guess?" you sigh with a chuckle before drinking the wine.

His glass stands full on the coffee table, untouched as you start eating next to him once again.

"I guess I should tell you a bit about myself. I work in an office. I hate my job but it pays the bills." you say, "I always wanted to be in a band though. Played guitar in high school. Never got too far with that. I love art too, you know, any shape or form of it. Maybe that's why I chose you. You seem like an artist. Or you would be if you were real, ha." you chuckle, yapping away as you keep drinking the wine, the doll listening to you without moving.

You keep pouring the wine into both his and your glass but it's only you drinking from both glasses.

It gives you a nice buzz, warmness that spreads through your body and manifests itself between your legs.

Usually, you'd play with your vibrator or dildo but seeing as you got a literal sex doll, you thought you should use him for the purpose he's made for.

"Now, what do I do with you?" you smirk, your hand coming up to play with the doll's hair, twirling the lock in your fingers.

"I mean, I can do anything I want." you nod, scooting closer to the doll.

"I feel fucking crazy." you laugh, pulling the covers off of Hyunjin.

Your hand is pressed on his thigh as you touch him gently through his clothes, your mind still marvelling at the fact that he feels like a real human being.

"I'm curious." you whisper, your fingertip playing with the button of his shirt, wanting to see what he looks like underneath the nice clothes they made him wear.

Slowly, you start unbuttoning the doll, taking your time with it, as anticipation builds up, creating a swirl of excitement inside you.

When you pop open the last button, you open up the shirt and gasp.

"Wow." you lick your lips at the sight, the doll's nipples look aroused, his stomach is toned, it looks like there's a vein leading down into his pants making your eyes fall down at his crotch.

You still have no idea how they made him look so real but you're eager to explore, planting your hands on his chest, running them up and down to his stomach, tracing the vein with your fingertips.

You run your hands back up to his nipples and flick them gently with your thumb before pinching them experimentally.

Gasping, you notice a growing bulge in the doll's pants.

"Am I pushing the right buttons?" you chuckle at your own joke as you continue playing with his nipples.

Your impatience however doesn't let you stall for too long, so your hands make their way down to the hem of his pants.

"Let's see." with a smirk you unbutton and unzip his pants, pulling them down with a little struggle as you have to lift him up a little.

You place your hands on his thighs, squeezing the flesh a little, watching as his cock twitches like he was really alive.

"You really do react to touch." you gasp in wonder, what kind of technology was this?

They even put underwear on him which you think is a nice touch but at this point, you were too curious not to slide them off immediately.

"Woah!" you gasp as his cock springs free of its confines.

You think it's the biggest and most beautiful cock you've ever seen, framed by a neatly cut bush, a visible vein running up the whole length.

You stare at it for a little while before you wrap your hand around it, your other hand fondling his balls.

It feels real once again, like he's throbbing and twitching, hot and heavy on your palm, a bead of precum at the tip.

"What in the hell?" you mumble, your finger swiping at the tip as you gather the liquid and bring it to your lips.

You suck your finger into your mouth, swirling your tongue around it and tasting the sweetness of the doll.

How he tasted so sweet was beyond you.

"Fuck it." you chuckle, pulling off your nightgown and tossing it aside, which leaves you completely naked like the doll is.

"I didn't even kiss you. Not very romantic of me." you smirk as you throw your leg over Hyunjin, sitting in his lap, your wet folds pressed against his cock.

You lean in and press a kiss to his lips, and of course the doll doesn't kiss back but his lips move with your movement and it feels good as you grind on his hard length.

"Look at you. Letting me do all the work like all the rest of them." you scoff with a smirk and at that, the doll's cock twitches a little too hard against you, almost pushing inside you.

"Wow. Someone's excited." you stare at the doll's eyes but there is nothing in there to indicate that he was in fact listening to you.

"For how much you cost, I hope this is worth it." you shrug and grip the base of his cock, guiding it inside you.

Sitting down on his length has you gasping as he fills you up perfectly, like his cock was made exactly for your pussy to take.

Your grip the doll's shoulders and use it for what you intended to when you clicked on that purchase button.

No matter how turned on you are though, staring at Hyunjin's almost expressionless face proves to be a turn off so you lean forward, wrapping your arms around his shoulders as you press your chest to his and continue bouncing on him.

Save for the fact that his hands lay limp on the side, his skin feels human and he feels kind of warm, like there was something inside the doll, warming it up.

"F-fuck." you whimper as the head of his cock brushes against the spongy spot inside you, it's like the more wet you get and the harder you fuck on him, his cock responds to you.

"R-right hand for activation." you repeat the instruction from the manual, as you blindly search for his right hand, sliding your fingertips on his wrist to his palm, your head leaned on his shoulder as you slowly gyrate your hips.

Your fingers interlace with his and it feels almost like Hyunjin grips your hand back, making you jump a little but before you can move away, his cock starts vibrating inside you.

"A-ah!" you moan loudly as your other arm curls around him, holding onto him while you fiddle with his fingers, your legs clamping around him as you start falling apart.

"G-gonna cum!" you whimper, burying your face in Hyunjin's neck and he smells so nice, feels so good as his cock keeps vibrating against your spot, bringing you to your high quickly.

The ecstasy you feel as the vibrations persist, prolonging your orgasm, overstimulating you while you ride the feeling makes you miss the single blink that Hyunjin's eyes make before returning to their original glassy and unmoving state.

"Too much." you whimper, squeezing his thumb and the vibrations stop.

You know that the left hand brings a happy end to the doll but you're not sure if you're done with it yet.

Leaning back to finally look at his face has you a little disappointed as you don't notice any kind of change on his face.

"Kinda wish you were real." you whisper, hugging the doll as you start bouncing on his hard cock again, bringing yourself easily to another orgasm.

You squeeze the doll's left hand after that, and feel spurts of warm cum shooting inside you as his cock twitches, the head bruising against your spot violently as he fills you up with copious amounts of the sticky substance.

You're pretty sure the neighbors can hear you moan as you cum again, the feeling of being filled up to the brim satisfies you and has your eyes rolling in the back of your head.

"Wow." you breathe hard, your cheek leaned on Hyunjin's shoulder as you grip his wrists while you come down.

You lean back to look at the doll again.

Were his lips slightly upturned before?

In the fogginess of your orgasms, you couldn't tell or think straight.

"Be right back." you slide off of him and make your way to the bathroom, taking a quick five minute shower before you grab a wet cloth to clean the doll up.

He sits how you left him, and you kneel between his legs to clean him up carefully.

His cock is not completely soft nor hard anymore, it's somewhere in the middle, but as you touch it gently, it seems to react and twitch again.

"You came already." you smirk and experimentally pinch the tip of Hyunjin's cock, but nothing happens except the member twitching again.

You stand up with a sigh, covering him with the blanket again before you leave for the bathroom to get ready for bed.

Just as you turn on the water to wash your mouth out, you hear something akin to a sigh coming from your living room.

You freeze, turning off the water and listening closely but you only hear the quiet buzz of the lamp above your mirror.

Maybe you were just imagining things.

You shake your head and finish your business before going back to Hyunjin.

"I'm too tired to dress you now, but boxers should be enough." you say and struggle to get him dressed, almost giving up during the process.

"I should just keep you naked in my bed to avoid the hassle." you say, lifting him up and carrying him to your bed.

"Cuddles, right? I do love me some cuddles too." you say with a tired smile as you adjust Hyunjin in your bed.

You join him under the covers and lean on your elbow as you lay sideways, staring down at him.

"How'd they make you look and feel so real?" your hand is on his cheek, and you trace his eyebrows, his nose and lips.

Fingertips travel to his ears, down to his neck and his chest.

"Don't come alive and scare me while I'm sleeping, Hyunjin." a shadow passes in his eyes as you say his name but you're too busy caressing his toned stomach to notice.

"Night." you kiss his lips before turning off the lamp and laying your head on his shoulder.

Somehow, you adjust his arms so that it seems like he's holding you and you throw your leg over his, your hand tracing patterns on his chest and side.

It was like hugging and kissing your pillow in high school, except this one took the shape of a human being.

With thoughts and questions about Hyunjin swimming in your head, you fall asleep quickly, not noticing how the doll's arms tighten around you ever so slightly.

Early in the morning as your alarm starts blaring loudly and annoyingly, you groan and stir, almost forgetting about Hyunjin being next to you.

"Oh!" you gasp. "Good morning, dolly." you say after turning the alarm off, as he stares at the ceiling.

"Sadly, I gotta go to work and leave you here alone. You better behave while I'm out." you lift a finger up menacingly, but there's a playful smile on your face.

"Man, I'm crazy." you shake your head before leaning in to leave a nice, wet smooch on Hyunjin's cheek.

"I'll come say bye before I leave."

And you do so, after eating breakfast and getting ready, you're back in your room.

"Should I put you in the living room so you can watch tv?"

The doll never answers.

"Maybe, yeah. You'll be bored lying in bed all day." you nod and carry Hyunjin to your couch.

You make him comfy, cover him with the blanket, card your fingers through his messy hair and then turn on the tv, leaving the remote in his lap.

"Gonna be late because of you." you sigh and lean down to place a kiss on the doll's lips.

"Be a good doll."

And with that you finally leave your apartment.

All day at work, you can't help but wonder if your Hyunjin doll somehow came alive, and for some reason you were looking forward to seeing him even if he didn't.

"What's got you so happy? Finally got laid?" your coworker chuckles as you stand in the office kitchen making yourself some coffee, you know she always gossips about you behind your back so you don't wanna give her the time of the day.

"Mind your business, Amanda." you answer quickly, turning to leave back to your office.

"Okay, you didn't then." she calls behind you with a giggle but you decide to ignore her.

"Fucking bitch." you mutter to yourself as you close the door.

The rest of the day goes by uneventfully and you can't wait to drive back home to Hyunjin.

"I'm home!" you yell out as soon as you step inside, hearing that the tv is still on, nothing out of the ordinary.

You make your way to your living room to find Hyunjin in the exact same position as you left him almost 9 hours ago, the remote still next to his right hand, the same channel you turned on this morning on the tv.

For some reason, your shoulders slump.

"Well, I guess you've been a good doll and took my warning literally." you shrug a little.

"Still, I want to reward you. As soon as I eat and take a nap that is." you add and go about your routine, eating lunch, taking a shower and of course changing into your comfy clothes, which at this time of the year consisted of an oversized t-shirt and panties.

"Let's take a nap together, dolly." you say to Hyunjin as you lift him up and move him to your bed again.

You lay him on his side, then mirror his position, taking his arm and wrapping it around your waist, the other comfortably under your neck.

Tracing patterns on his stomach and chest again, you start talking.

"Your life is so easy. From the couch to the bed, you don't even have to work or go anywhere. Meanwhile, I have to endure fucking Amanda every day at work. Do you have any idea how bitchy that woman is?", you talk as you cuddle your doll. "She has to know eeeeverything about eeeeeveryone. Soon, she'll crawl up my ass just to look at my insides."

You look at Hyunjin's face and for a moment it seems as if his eyes moved.

"Are you listening to me, perhaps?" you whisper, your hand on his cheek. "I know I'm probably crazy. But I'm glad I got you. Even though you're a bit creepy, you bring me comfort." you add, tucking your head into his neck.

"I'm gonna sleep now."

Slowly blinking your eyes awake, you feel warmness enveloping you that's not coming just from your blanket but from Hyunjin.

Quickly, you realize that somehow his thigh ended up pressed against your core, your leg thrown over him as you scooted closer to him in sleep.

"Oh." a little sound escapes your lips as you grind against his warm thigh, feeling wetness on your panties.

Before looking up at him, you press a kiss to his collarbone and it seems like his thigh moves against you once, making you jolt.

"Hey." you look up at him, but his eyes are unmoving as always.

You observe his face but the throbbing between your legs makes you grind against him again.

"F-feels good." you whimper, leaning in and kissing him, letting your tongue dart out and lick at the plump lips.

You feel his erection press against your other thigh, the one flush against him and you chuckle a little.

"Someone likes me a lot." you say, leaning back to look at him.

It looks like there's a small smile on his face that you swear wasn't there before.

"Hm." you squint your eyes as you stop your movements.

"Gotta try something." you declare after a moment of silence, lifting up and removing the blanket.

You push Hyunjin on his back, hooking your fingers in his boxers and pulling them off of him.

"Aw, you really do like me a lot." you smirk at the sight of the doll's cock, twitching and leaking again like it did yesterday.

"I'll give you some attention, you deserved it."

You spread his legs, adjusting them so you can kneel between his thighs and you lean down.

"I haven't done this in a while. You can't complain though." you chuckle a little as you grip his cock and let your tongue dart out, catching the sweet tasting precum with it.

You don't understand how he tastes so sweet, it's hard to put your finger on what exactly the taste is but it makes you want more so you swirl your tongue around his head, your moans muffled as you swallow the sweet liquid.

"Mm. Fuck you taste good." you whine and put your lips around him again, slowly taking more of him in as you bob your head up and down.

Sucking cock like that is not your favorite thing to do, sometimes it makes you feel uncomfortable but having Hyunjin be so still and so tasty has your arousal pooling on your panties and you keep wanting more.

You take as much as you can, coating his cock in your saliva, your tongue pressing along his vein as you fondle his balls has him twitching inside you.

You smirk and grip his left hand, spurts of hot cum hitting your throat and it tastes even sweeter than before as you whimper and swallow everything.

"Damn hot." you whine, quickly getting rid of your shirt and panties, before you take his now completely wet cock in your hand and start jerking him off to make him hard for you again.

It doesn't take long to excite the doll and you decide to turn your back to him and fuck on his cock like that so that you don't have to look into his lifeless eyes while pleasing yourself.

You sit on him and push his cock inside yourself, your warm cunt engulfing his entire length easily.

"Mm." you gyrate your hips as you close your eyes and enjoy teasing yourself, your wet pussy coating his navel and balls.

"God, you're perfect Hyunjin." you whine and start fucking on him.

In the deep throes of passion as you bounce on him, your nails digging into his thighs for support, your eyes closed in pure bliss, you don't notice anything.

You don't notice Hyunjin blinking, his lips opening to speak but nothing comes out.

He can't move no matter how hard he tries and once again his eyes go back to the glassy state they're always in.

"Gonna cum." you whine loudly, gripping his right hand and he starts vibrating inside you, pushing you over the edge and making you scream as you squirt all over him.

"Fuck." you whine as your eyes focus, noticing you have left red marks in his thighs.

"Oh. Did I hurt you?" you gasp, your fingertips gently running over the marks.

"Didn't mean to." you look back at him but he lays still.

His cock twitches inside you and you grip his left hand, making the doll fill you up as you slowly ride him.

You lift up slowly, his cum sliding down your inner thigh together with your release.

"Made a mess of you, dolly." you look at the state of him.

"Maybe a bath?" he doesn't answer but still you prepare a bath and place him in it, careful of the usb opening on his neck.

You get inside after him, settling between his legs and leaning your back on his chest.

"Why are you so warm, Hyunjin?" you caress his arm as you hold it, his other one thrown over your stomach.

Sighing, you lean on his shoulder and close your eyes, trying to relax in the warm water, as Hyunjin 'held' you.

You still couldn't understand how they made him, but you were willing not to think about that, as he brought you a kind of comfort you didn't expect, making you wanna indulge in that feeling for as long as you could.

It's been exactly two months since you've gotten your Hyunjin doll, and ever since then you've loved spending every day with him.

You talked to him like he was alive, you watched movies with him, you read him books, you slept next to him every single night, you brought him to the kitchen so he can watch you cook, you even took him on late night drives sometimes, feeling bad that he was locked up in the apartment all day.

Sometimes, you thought you saw a flicker in his eyes, a slight smile on his face, or his fingers twitching against his thighs.

Some nights, while you're half asleep, you could swear that he tightened his hold on you or his chest lifted up and down like he was breathing.

Some days, as you'd come home from work you found him in a slightly different position than you left him.

One time, you sat him next to the window so you could watch rain together, and when you came back from making some tea, there was a heart shape in the fog on the glass.

"Did you do this dolly?" you caress his hair and look at him closely but he doesn't react.

You sigh, tracing another heart next to the first one before you sit in his lap, bringing the warm cup to your lips and observing him.

You thought you were going crazy in the beginning but as time passed by, you were becoming sure that there was more to Hyunjin than you initially knew.

"Just say something if you can hear me. Or squeeze my hand." you try for the nth time as you sit on your couch with Hyunjin but nothing happens.

"Fine." you huff. "Maybe you want something first. What would you like? I bought you new clothes. Maybe you want something else like... like something to do with art? We can paint together, if you'd like."

Hyunjin doesn't answer.

Nevertheless, you bring your art supplies and a bottle of wine.

You make yourself comfortable on the floor, next to Hyunjin's legs as he sits on the couch.

You end up being the one painting and drinking, Hyunjin's eyes move to look down at you, the look in his eyes softens, unlike the glassy one he always has.

He wants to talk, he wants to lean over and caress your hair, he wants to taste the wine off of your lips and feel the paintbrush between his fingertips.

But he can't. His eyes become glassy again as your phone rings, jolting you out of your peaceful activity.

It's your mother.

The conversation starts as always and it escalates into a fight of when are you settling down, why aren't you married, why are you closing yourself off, why are you such a failure?

As soon as you hang up a sob escapes your lips and you fall into Hyunjin, seeking comfort as you wrap your limbs around him, your face buried in his neck and your hot tears sliding down from your cheeks to his shirt, soaking it up.

"No one would understand." you cry. "They'd say I'm crazy and maybe I am. But I don't give a fuck."

Your body trembles against Hyunjin as you hiccup and sniffle, your arms wrapped tightly around his waist, your leg thrown over his thighs.

His body seems warmer than before and you squeeze him a little.

"Maybe I'm fucking crazy for loving a doll. But I love you Hyunjin." you sigh, closing your eyes as you lean against him.

His eyelids flutter a few times. He blinks.

A deep breath through his nose and you almost miss the way his chest moves up.

You place your hand on his chest, and feel it.

A heart beat slowly forming, at first almost too slow to be normal until it becomes steady and then speeds up.

He's breathing, his lips are dry as he licks at them, his hands clutch onto you and you scream.

You jump up quickly, your eyes wide as you look at him.

Hyunjin looks back up at you, his eyes wide and filled with fear and shock, mirroring yours.

He opens his mouth and a series of coughs escape his lips.

"Wh- How? Am I hallucinating?"

"Y- y/n." is the first thing he says, weakly and quietly as he reaches out for you.

You stay still as a statue, not sure what the hell is happening before your eyes.

"P-please, don't be scared." he begs as he tries to get up but his legs give out and he falls to the floor with a thud.

"Ugh." he whimpers, his hands grabbing at the coffee table.

You're slow to react to him falling from the shock of it all, making your way back to him cautiously.

"Did you hurt yourself?" you ask quietly.

"N-no, I don't think so." he says as he looks up at you.

"Who- who are you?" you don't know what else to ask, because the doll you used and played with was now a human with a heartbeat and he was looking at you, even knew your name.

"What do you mean? I'm- I'm Hyunjin, your romantic doll." he answers like it's the most normal thing ever.

"How are you alive? Why now all of a sudden? I don't get it." you say as he sits back on his legs.

"You... You love me. Your love brought me to life." he swallows, his cheeks rosy.

"Oh... There was nothing about this in the manual." The fucking manual. The doll's actual purpose. Everything you ever did to him. Embarassment washes over you and you feel absolutely mortified.

"Do you... did you hear me all this time? And um, see and feel what I was doing?"

"Y-yeah." he nods, his cheeks becoming even more red.

"Fucking hell." you whine, covering your face with your hands as you sit on the couch.

"Hey, it's okay. I- I was made for that." he says, his hand on your knee in an attempt to comfort you.

You peek at him through your fingers.

"And you were so nice to me. So... warm and loving. You made me feel so good. You never mistreated me even when you knew very well you could do whatever you want with me. I'm thankful for that. And I- I love you too, y/n." Hyunjin talks, his thumb gently caressing your skin.

"Are you programmed to say stuff like that? Are you a robot?"

He chuckles.

"I'm not programmed and I'm not a robot. Didn't you feel my heart beating?"

"I did but... I don't understand. How were you made?" you finally remove your hands from your face.

"I don't know. I wish I could answer your questions but I'm as clueless as you are. I just know I was conscious the whole time while I was with you but I couldn't speak or move. Like I was paralyzed. It was horrible. I tried giving you signs, I tried to talk multiple times but it's like something would hold me back, like there was a wall and I couldn't break through."

"That does sound horrible. I'm sorry if I ever did something you wouldn't agree to." you say quietly, your face burning in embarassment.

"No, no, I liked everything you did." he says with a sheepish smile, averting his eyes. "Wish I could reciprocate." he looks up at you through his lashes.

You're biting on your lip nervously, his hand reaches for you and you accidentally snatch yours away, not used to your doll talking to you and trying to touch you.

"A-are you gonna abandon me now?" he asks quietly as he eyes your hand.

"What?" you look back at him to see that his eyes are watery and you gasp. "No, of course not! I always wished you'd come to life. Didn't think it would actually happen so I'm still processing and hoping that I'm not dreaming."

"Oh, thank god." he exhales and you let him grab your hand. "I- uhm... I'm very hungry and thirsty. Could you help me with that?"

"Oh! Of course! I will make some dinner for us." you say and help him sit up on the couch, noticing that now he's heavier than he used to be.

"I guess I still need to get feeling in my legs and arms." he says as you bring him a glass of water.

"Mhm, probably you need to have blood pumping properly through your body. Don't worry." you pet his hair as he drinks and he looks at you.

"Here, you'll be warm like this." you wrap him up in your fluffy blanket and notice a change on the back of his neck.

"Oh!" you exclaim, your fingertips touching the skin there, making Hyunjin shiver a little.

"The usb opening is gone." you declare and he brings his hand to touch it, your fingertips grazing against each other.

"That's weird." he says absentmindedly.

"All of this is weird." you chuckle and he chuckles with you, making you look at him.

God, he's even more beautiful with a smile gracing his face, you think to yourself.

Without thinking your hands gently cup his cheeks.

"You're really alive." you whisper, your thumbs gently stroking his face, his eyes flutter as he pushes into your hands.

"I am. Does that make you happy?" he asks with a sparkle in his eyes.

"Very happy." you nod with a smile, leaning closer to him.

"Good. I want to make you happy. When you're happy, I'm happy too."

"Hyunjinnie." you whine against his lips and kiss him gently.

Having him kiss back as he clutches at your shirt is the sweetest thing ever, you think as you wrap your arms around his shoulders.

"Okay, I don't want you to starve now that you came to life." you lean back with a chuckle as he chases your lips.

"Yeah, please, I need food." he nods and you make your way to the kitchen, whipping up a quick dinner, checking constantly if he's okay.

You bring two plates as soon as you're done and Hyunjin's eyes seem to get bigger as soon as they land on the food.

"Be careful, it's still hot." you warn him.

"Okay." Hyunjin nods.

He eats happily, asking for more which you of course bring to him.

"Are you feeling better?" you ask when the two of you finish eating.

"Yes, much better. But I feel very tired now."

"You need sleep. Let's go to bed. Do you think you can walk now?"

"I think so." you grab his arm and help him become steady on his feet.

You lead him to the bathroom and he looks at you.

"Now that you're alive, you need to brush your teeth and wash up before bed."

"Right." he nods.

After a whole ordeal of getting ready, you finally plop down under the covers.

"Can I- Can I hold you?" Hyunjin asks sweetly and you chuckle, rolling your body into his.

"Of course."

"Always wanted to do that." his limbs wrap around you as he holds you tightly, your face buried in his chest.

"Good night, Hyunjin. Please be there when I wake up." you nuzzle into him, inhaling the familiar fresh and flowery scent of him.

"I promise I will. Good night, y/n."

It wasn't a dream.

Your eyes flutter open and Hyunjin smiles at you fondly, his hand gently caressing your cheek.

"Morning, dol- Hyunjin."

"You can call me dolly if that's what you like." he smirks and you chuckle.

"Eh, well you're human now. It feels like I'm degrading you." you gently touch his chest.

"I don't mind." he shifts and you feel his erection press against your thigh.

You gasp a little, your core throbbing with want.

"I'm sorry." his face is red instantly. "It's just- when you touch me... I can't help it."

"It's okay, Hyunjinnie." you slide your hand down to cup him through his boxers.

He whimpers, leaning into you, his eyes fluttering shut and you press your lips on his in a heated kiss.

His tongue licks at your lower lip and you let him in, eager to finally feel his kisses how you craved to.

Hyunjin kisses you messily and hungrily, grinding into your hand, grunting against your lips.

As soon as you slide off his boxers, automatically your hands lift up to push him on his back but he grabs your wrists gently to stop you.

"My sweet girl, let me take care of you how you deserve now that I'm able to." he rasps, his eyes hooded as he looks at you with lust.

"O-okay." you whisper and lay down on your back, letting Hyunjin slide your panties off as you pull off your shirt and toss it somewhere aside.

"I've spent so much time receiving. I want to give, my angel. My hands hurt when I couldn't touch you and make you feel good. That's all I want to do." he sounds desperate as his lips attach to your neck, leaving wet kisses on your skin, his hands roaming on your body and settling on your breasts.

"Mm, make me feel good, Jinnie." you whimper as he squeezes your breasts, massaging them and moaning against your skin like it was more pleasurable to him than to you.

He mumbles sweet praises as he leaves more kisses that lead to your nipple, his tongue darting out to swirl around it, making you arch into him.

His eyes are dark as he wraps his lips around it and starts sucking, his other hand sliding down to grip your inner thigh.

Fingertips ghost on your skin, both his hands now spreading your legs apart.

"Do you know how much I longed to taste your sweet nectar? Will you let me drink from you, my angel?" Hyunjin asks, his finger gently pressing into your clit, circling it.

"Yes, please, oh my god." you whimper, your hips lifting up into his touch.

He smirks, trailing kisses down to your core.

He stops for a moment to admire you and you don't even have time to feel self-conscious as he spreads your pussy lips apart and leans in to stick his tongue inside you.

"F-fuck!" you jolt as he starts moving it before he leans back a little and licks at your sensitive clit.

"Taste even sweeter than I imagined." he moans, his lips wrapping around your clit as he sucks on it, his thumbs gently caressing your pussy lips.

"H-H-Hyunjin!" you whimper as he sucks harder, your hips lifting up in pleasure.

"Could be here for hours. Eating this sweet pussy out." he moans, pushing his tongue inside you again, this time fucking you faster, his nose giving the perfect pressure on your sensitive nub and driving you crazy.

Your hand grips his hair, pushing him more into you as he skilfully moves his tongue, his lips pressing into your lower ones as he makes out with you.

Your orgasm washes over you quickly, coating Hyunjin's face and he laps it all up greedily, his eyes shut as he whimpers into you, sending vibrations right into your core.

You feel crazy with desire the more he continues eating you out like a man starved and you have to grip his hair and pull him away after he gives you two more orgasms.

"H-Hyune, please, I need your cock." you whimper, feeling like you're falling apart.

He licks at his red lips, his eyes crazed with lust he feels for you.

"Anything my angel needs." his voice is husky as he leans over you, the tip of his cock pressed against your wet, messy cunt.

He pushes in with ease, after all, you've been fucking on him for the last two months, your pussy was used to the stretch.

"Mm, Hyunjin!" that doesn't make it feel less pleasurable when he fills you up, the tip of his cock kissing your cervix.

"Move, please." you whimper, already feeling out of it.

Hyunjin grips your thighs and starts fucking you at a steady pace, his cock dragging against your walls deliciously, sliding easily through your wetness.

"Feel so good. So warm. Just for me." he whimpers, his eyes fluttering shut before they open again and look down where his cock disappears inside you.

"Just for you, Jinnie." you moan and he looks up at you, a smile on his face.

He leans closer to you, wrapping his arms around you and in turn you wrap yours around his shoulders, bringing your bodies flush together as he buries himself deep inside your heat.

He ruts into you desperately, your lips meeting in messy kisses, spit dribbles down your chin and he licks at it, kissing your jaw and your neck wetly.

"P-please tell me you love me." he whimpers in your ear, holding you tightly as he fucks you harder, only taking a little bit of his length out and shoving it back in with force that has your mind spinning.

"I love you, Hyunjin. I love you. So much." you cry happy tears, making him cry too as you clutch onto each other.

"My angel, I love you more than anything." he says as he kisses you, his tongue playing with yours.

He brings you to another orgasm, his fingers on your nipples, pinching and pulling as he keeps rutting into you desperately.

"C-can I cum?" he whimpers, his hands gripping desperately at your waist.

"Yeah." you nod quickly and he gives you his left hand to squeeze and as your fingers entwine, he cums, filling you up endlessly, more than when he was just doll and you whimper as your legs clamp around him, lifting your middle into him and cumming with him again.

Both of you breathe hard as he stays inside you for a moment, before pulling out and watching his cum drip out of you.

"D-do I still have to squeeze your left hand for you to cum?" you chuckle a little.

"No, just... force of habit, I guess." he says sheepishly like he didn't just fuck your brains out.

"What about the vibrations?"

"You really liked that, didn't you?" he smirks, his hand sliding up your thigh tentatively, before his fingers slide between your folds, playing with the wetness.

"Shut up." you say embarassingly, swatting his hand away.

"Don't worry, I can vibrate if you want." he bites on his lip as he looks at you.

"I'm too sensitive now." you whisper and he chuckles.

"I know. Usually you don't go above four, five orgasms in one sitting. Maybe six if you're extra horny."

"It's embarassing to me that you know this in such detail." your face becomes red as Hyunjin chuckles, shaking his head.

"Nothing you should be embarassed about. I'm happy to please you." he says and leans down to kiss you gently.

You pull him into your embrace, hoping that from now on, he stays human, and keeps loving you because in this moment you can't imagine your life without Hyunjin in it.

"Thank you for letting me use your painting supplies." Hyunjin smiles up at you as he sits on the floor of your living room, like you always did when you painted.

"Don't thank me, Jinnie. What's mine is yours." you smile as you sit next to him and lean in closer.

"Let me see." you say as he looks down sheepishly.

He pushes the sketchbook towards you and you gasp.

"Hyunjin, this is amazing! How did you manage to paint so well?! And you painted me! That's so sweet."

"I- I don't know. As I started, it's like I got déjà vu, like I already did this before and many times so."

"Really? That's peculiar." you say.

"Maybe we should call the company I got you from." you add, tapping your chin.

"P-please don't!" Hyunjin panics, gripping at your thigh. "I'm scared. I don't know why but when I try to think of that place, it feels bad. Please don't call them. I don't want them to take me away from you."

"Hey, hey, it's okay. No one will take you away from me. I won't call them." you quickly grab his face to calm him down.

"You promise?" his pupils shake as he looks at you.

"I promise." you nod and kiss him sweetly to let him know he can trust you.

Hyunjin visibly relaxes with your touch, wrapping his arms around you and tucking his face in your neck.

"Um... could we go outside? We only ever went on night drives which is understandable but now that I can walk and stuff, we could go out on real dates and maybe visit museums?" he looks up at you with a smile.

"Of course! Anywhere you want to go." you smile back at him, and he leans up to kiss you.

For the next several weeks, you take Hyunjin everywhere.

To the park, the movies, museums, to a club, to different restaurants, to a mall, anything that comes to your mind, the two of you decide to visit, even going to a little town nearby for a day trip.

You don't remember the last time you were this happy and had someone next to you who made everything look so easy and sweet.

Hyunjin had taken an interest in capturing all the pretty moments so you got him a camera, deciding to surprise him for your 6 month anniversary.

As you came home from work, you called out to him but there was no answer.

"Jinnie? Are you sleeping?" you pushed the bedroom door open but the bed was vacant.

A heavy feeling settled in the pit of your stomach as you searched your entire apartment and couldn't find him.

Frantically, you looked for him again, knowing that he didn't suddenly become Barbie sized and hid somewhere.

He was gone.

You ran out of your apartment to knock on your neighbor's door.

"Tony! Did you see Hyunjin today maybe?" you asked him as soon as he opened the door.

"No, I didn't, sorry." he shook his head.

You didn't know what to do so you went back to your apartment and burst into tears.

Hyunjin didn't have a phone you could contact him with as he never had the need to use one so you had no way of reaching him.

All you could do was sit and wait, biting your nails as every single scenario runs through your mind.

He will come back, you reassure yourself as you fall asleep from exhaustion.

And he does, around 10pm the door clicks open and you jolt up from your nap on the couch.

"Hyunjin?" you say into the dark space and he turns on the light, standing in the middle of your living room with two gift bags in his hand and an apologetic look on his face.

"Oh my god, Hyunjin!" you jump to your feet, running to him and throwing your arms around him, squeezing him tightly and almost knocking him down as the bags fall out of his hands and he wraps his arms around your waist.

"I'm so sorry, y/n. I should've left you a note. I-I went out to get a gift for our anniversary tommorow."

"Please, don't ever disappear like that again. Do you have any idea how scared I was?" you cry and Hyunjin gasps, his hands on your face as he wipes away your tears.

"I'm really sorry. I will never ever do something like this again." his eyes water too.

"I should get you a phone." you shake your head. "Hey, how did you even manage to buy a gift? You don't have any money." you chuckle, wiping at your cheeks.

"I went to the park and painted portraits of people for money, then got the gift."

"Oh, Jinnie, you sweet fool. Just don't give me any more scares."

"I promise I won't." he nods and your lips seal in a kiss.

Despite having so many options to choose from now, Hyunjin and you decide to have a nice dinner at home for your anniversary, where it all started.

You even took out the most expensive plates and silverware you owned, adding some candles to create a more intimate atmosphere, some light romantic music playing in the background.

"Y/n, I um- got you something I'd like to see you wear tonight for me."

"Oh, you did?" you smirk. "Show it to me."

Hyunjin grabs one of the gift bags and reaches it to you with an excited smile.

You chuckle and peek inside, seeing that he got you black and red lacy lingerie as well as a dress.

"Do you like it?" he asks.

"Very much so." you take out the dress and touch the silky material. "This dress is very revealing." you notice the opened back and the deep neck line that would definitely almost make your breasts fall out.

"I was counting on the fact that we celebrate here because you in that dress is for my eyes only." his eyes darken suddenly.

"Oh yeah? Let me get ready for our dinner then." you chuckle and make your way to the bathroom.

Hyunjin decides to wear the clothes he arrived in, since those were the only fancy clothing items he owned, and he thought it was kind of symbolic to put them on tonight.

You walk into your bedroom to find Hyunjin dressed and staring at the big box he was packed in, one you still didn't get rid of.

"Jinnie?" you call out as he seems to be deep in thought.

"You kept the box." he says, still looking at it.

"I did. I had no idea what I was getting into so I left it just in case. I was gonna throw it out, it's just really heavy." you explain, making your way to him.

"When you arrived, two men had to carry the box in, and somehow the box seemed heavier than you. I barely managed to get it into the closet. Had to push it and stuff. Sorry I didn't have the chance to get rid of it."

"It's okay, y/n. You don't have to apologize." he smiles as he turns towards you.

"Oh." a gasp leaves his lips as he sees you all dressed up for him.

"You like?" you smirk, winking at him.

"Mhm." he nods quickly. "You look stunning, my angel."

"Thank you, Jinnie. You look handsome."

His cheeks seem to become more red with the praise as he mutters, his eyes darting left and right.

You enjoy your dinner together, romantic music playing in the background, the tv mute, left on just from the habit of it.

After you finish eating, you migrate to the couch to cuddle and drink wine, some stupid show playing on the screen and the two of you jokingly read from the character's lips, making up nonsensical conversations and laughing.

After some time and some more wine, Hyunjin becomes even more handsy than usual, grabbing at your thighs, sliding his hands on the silky material of the dress.

You melt into him, kissing him as your arms wrap around his shoulders, your tongues languidly massaging each other as your core throbs with need.

Hyunjin caresses you gently, his hands worshipping you, sliding down your throat, to your collarbone, to the swell of your breasts, down to your stomach and waist, landing on your hips.

His lips attach to your neck as he leaves wet kisses on your skin, licking at it and sinking his teeth in.

"Mm." you moan, playing with his hair as he kisses your collarbone and the flesh of your breast, leaving another love bite on the soft skin.

His hands travel under your dress, roaming around on your legs and your eyes open, landing on the tv, making you gasp.

"Hyunjin, that's you!" you jolt, pointing at the screen.

"Huh?" he mumbles, already drunk on you.

You quickly grab the remote and turn on the sound.

"...seemingly the dolls have some kind of malfunction that the company does not wish to reveal to the public. All eight of the purchased dolls are required to be returned and the buyers will get their money back, guaranteed. The customers will be contacted accordingly..."

"M-my friends. I vaguely remember them." Hyunjin breathes quickly, you can see that he's getting upset quickly. "They wanna take me away from you."

"I won't let them." you quickly shake your head.

"What are we gonna do?" he asks, clenching his fists and you gently grab his hands, trying to soothe him.

"We're gonna... leave."

"Leave?"

"Yeah, I have a house my aunt left me up in the mountains. I don't think they can find us there. For now, until we think of where to go next." you start planning immediately.

There was no way you would let anyone take Hyunjin away from you.

"But, what about your job? And your things?" Hyunjin bites on his lip.

"I don't care. All I care about right now is making sure you're safe." you smile at him, your hand coming up to caress his cheek.

Hyunjin smiles, leaning into your touch and wrapping his arms around you.

"Thank you." he whispers into your hair.

You get a call from an unknown number the next day, but one quick google search tells you it's the company Hyunjin came from.

You packed one bag of a few essential things you'd need, leaving most of your belongings behind.

"Y/n! There's a black van posted outside. It's been there for hours. They're looking at the building right now." Hyunjin announces and you make your way to the window, half hiding behind him.

"We need to use the fire exit." you declare and Hyunjin nods as he turns to you.

"I won't let them take you. I promise." you hold his hands.

"I trust you, my angel." he smiles and you kiss him gently before the two of you exit the building, quickly entering your car.

You step on the gas, and reach out to hold Hyunjin's hand in yours.

As you speed off into the sunset, hoping for a better tomorrow, a black van rounds the corner, following you from afar...

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