#also also the animatronics looked so good???? the sound effects the way they moved!!!! the practical effevts were awesome!!!

[wabbitears]

feddy movie

[swimsauce]

Animators' Perspective on FNAF Animatronic Facial Animation

/long post talking about animation

I really like how Steel Wool animators animate how the animatronic talk. They don't need to move their jaws when they speak (as they can just project their voices from their chests), but during normal operation they move their jaws to look more lifelike. What I notice in a lot of fan animations is that for every word/syllable, the jaw will fully open and close to emphasize every word/ syllable. This always struck me as odd, as it never looked right. The reason it doesn’t look right is because that's not how humans talk.

In the newer games, the animatronics open their mouths fully during the beginning of sentence, and make smaller motions with their jaws depending on the syllables/words they say, then fully close/go slack when they are done speaking the sentence. This is a good fix to try to make facial motions more lifelike while working within the constraints of their rigid faces. 

When we humans talk, we do not open and close our jaws the entire time we talk. Our jaws stay open for most of the time we talk because we literally project sound from our mouths, so the jaw stays open when speaking and only closes when you're done talking. But when you speak, there appears to be a lot of movement, due to the lip/facial muscles moving to enunciate the sounds you make to create the syllables needed for words/sentences. When you talk, you do tend to move your jaw a bit, mainly due to movement of your tongue in your mouth. But again, most of the motion is in your lips and facial muscles. Because the animatronics don't have lips/skin, the only way they can mimic naturalistic facial expressions is by moving their jaws in small motions.

Example Sentence: Way to go super star! I knew you could do it

Here is a clip of one of the sentences Glam Freddy says. Put your hand on the side of your face so you can feel your top and bottom jaw. Say the sentence above and notice how far and often you actually move your jaw when talking. A lot of the movement is in your lips and face, not the jaw. Look at how he talks, he only moves his jaw a little bit during the sentence itself, mimicking the small jaw motions. He only fully opens/closes his mouth when he is done speaking.

Speaking of other facial feature work arounds, they achieve a similar “cheat” with eye animation. When we talk and emote, we tend to move not just our eyes, but the skin around them, like your cheeks and eyebrows. In order to get more dynamic facial expressions,  the bots twist and spin their eyelids in order to mimic the scrunching looks you can get on your face. Example, look how Roxy, Yendo, and Freddy tilt the axis of their eyelids to give the impression of anger/sadness

There is also a little trick used sometimes when staging characters to convey facial expressions. While the jaw/face cannot change shapes, the angles they are viewed at can change the way the shapes are seen. Showcasing characters from certain angles can give better impressions of designs while others can be awkward or odd looking. These selective angles can be applied to convey facial expressions as well. Ex. Roxy, when looking at her face from the front or with her face tilted down, she appears to be smiling, but looking at her face from below gives a more neutral look. Jaw placement here is also important, with her jaw opened wider it looks like she is smiling, but a closed jaw makes her mouth look more neutral or like she's frowning. (a similar effect can be seen in the other glam models as well)

As an animator, facial expression is incredibly important to convey convincing character acting. Every time you animate a character, you have to troubleshoot and figure out solutions to get the best performance from the design you are working with. Can’t animate mouth shapes because the character doesn't have skin/muscle? Have them move their jaws subtly when talking to mimic tongue/lip motion. Can’t scrunch the eyes? Rotate the eyelids to give the impression of different eye shapes. They're great little tricks to give otherwise very stiff models the impression of life like movement.

Refs for talking points/animation reference:

jaw/tongue/lip motion in mri

good vid on animation lip sync

mouth shapes in general

[lycanlovingvampyre]

MAG 136 Relisten

Activity on my first listen: putting up a new fence.

MELANIE: “Well. I’ve kinda got to… uh. (inhale) I’ve got somewhere to be. Do you mind if – if she hangs around with…?” JON: "Uh, I suppose – Not at all. She’s very welcome." I think it's super cute that Daisy doesn't want to be alone. Yeah, the reason for this is quite tragic and sad... I think this was the episode that made me go "Oh shit, I really like Daisy now!" to 100 %! I love everything about this episode!

JON: "If you don’t mind me asking – where are you off to?" [UNFORTUNATELY FOR BOTH OF THEM, THE ARCHIVIST’S SIGNATURE STATIC RUMBLES LOW IN THE BACKGROUND AS HE SPEAKS.] MELANIE: "Therapy. (surprised inhale) Wait…" I read a post about this once, that the Eye won't chose random information for Jon to suddenly drop into his mind. It's always something bad or intrusive (like suddenly knowing how Gertrude stopped the Sunken Sky. Or how one of Basira's school teachers died). Wouldn't be surprised, if this also got a grip on questions which could reveal a "dark secret". Like here, it wasn't a coincidence that compulsion slipped out with the question. It's the Eye choosing to act on it's own because there's juicy personal information to acquire. There's nothing Jon could have done to stop that, aside from just not asking this question. But that's why he's the Archivist, he always asked this kind of questions.

MELANIE: "It’s fine. I would probably have told you eventually anyway." Uhhh, am I the only one who thinks this line sounds a bit weird...? Especially the "It's fine". This doesn't sound like Lydia at all... Could this actually be Alex??? (Wouldn't be the first time we suspect him impersonating Lydia/Melanie - MAG 103).

"One of my earliest memories is cowering behind my mother, watching Labyrinth of the Minotaur on our tiny television, seeing the clay of the creature move and come alive in stop-motion. It terrified me. It thrilled me. It’s a moment that’s never completely left me. I’ve always had two passions: engineering and special effects. So naturally, the course of my life gradually led me towards working on animatronics. I don’t – care about the other stuff, not really. A squib’s a squib no matter how much you dress it up, and… (inhales) makeup never really wowed me." 1.) Not really-counter of S4: 4! 2.) I totally know that feeling. For me it was Jurassic Park. I guess this is also why I've always loved Stan Winston's work the most out of all practical FX studios and artists I follow. I have no idea about engineering, but I'm good at sculpting and crafting. Naturally, SFX make-up always fascinated me as well and they often work closely together (part make-up / part costume / part animatronics). It's just so damn expensive to make myself, the prices for silicone and resin skyrocketed the last couple of years. I want to make an animatronic mask soooo badly... Luckily my spouse is an engineer and I have a few of tutorials from the Stan Winston School membership, so one day! *fingers crossed*

"His earlier stuff I certainly enjoyed, but… for all my fondness for that – animated Minotaur, his stop-motion work never really grabbed me like his animatronics." You know why stop-motion looks so jerky? Lack of motion blur. That's when go-motion came into play. They'd move the model slightly during exposure of that frame, recreating motion blur by doing this. The dragon Vermithrax in Dragonslayer was the best example for this, but it already went quite high-tech to achieve this. (ILM, Phil Tippet btw.)

"The way Neil tells it, he split from his partner Gabe in 1972, and sculpting for stop-motion had never really had the same charm after that." Gabe... Short for Gabriel. Sculpting, like with Clay^^ Lagorio was like "Yeah, the Spiral is too random for me, I need precision!!"

"I think we bonded on that shoot, sheltering from the rain for hours at a time, watching a soggy animatronic jaguar gradually start to rust." Everybody knows the story of the T-Rex in the rain, right? If not, so they build the T-Rex without the information that it's supposed to be raining in that scene. Well... the foam latex skin acted like a sponge and it got too heavy! This caused the T-Rex to shiver, so they had to dry her in-between shots (there are pictures of people whipping towels at the dino XD). This is also the reason why the roof of the car broke and came down onto the children. This was not planned! But the T-Rex got too heavy so the calculations weren't correct anymore and so it hit that glass roof with way too much force, oof.

OMG wait! Is that my favorite ambiance track there?? OMG it is! I totally missed that it was used here! Episode got even better now!

JON: "Mm, they were… Well, let’s just say it’s not a complete shock there was something unnatural to them." Mr. “watches documentaries for fun” saw a few of Neil Lagorio's movies! Not surprised since he read a lot as a kid, why wouldn't Jon be into fiction?

DAISY: (sigh) "She’s Web. Spider’s sneaky like that. Like that lighter you’re always using; where’d you get that?" JON: "Mm. Good point. We should keep our eyes open. Anyways –" Hahaha, there's even static during "Good point". I can't wait to tell my story about the lighter, it's hilarious.

DAISY: (sigh) "Yeah, well – (sigh) What do you think? You think I’m weak, just – (sigh) – ‘cause I’m not already chasing the next kill? You think I’m less me?" JON: "I – (sigh) I don’t feel like I’m exactly in the best place to judge the… intersection between free will and humanity. (stuttering inhale) I’m still trying to figure that out myself." Those two <3 I'm happy Jon has someone this season who gets him. Who he can talk to. I love their friendship so much...

JON: "My – (large sigh) My memories of the coma are not clear, but I know I made a choice; I made a choice to become… something else. Because I was afraid to die. But ever since then, I – I don’t know if I made the right decision; I’m stronger now, tougher, I can – (he cuts himself off) If I do die, now, or get sealed away somewhere forever? I don’t know if that’s a bad thing. And I don’t want to lose anyone else, so if I can maybe – stop that happening, and the only danger is to me, I – I’ll do it in a heartbeat; worst case scenario, the universe loses another monster." DAISY: "That’s messed up." JON: (small laugh) (inhale) "Yeah. I suppose it is." Jon. Stop it. Get some help.

JON: "It, uh – hm – Is it, uh – Weird question, but – I – (sigh) I haven’t seen you in my dreams? The last couple of weeks?" DAISY: "Oh, ah – No, I – I work here now. Figured it seemed to protect the others, so –" That sounded like that relative "I haven't seen you in so long, you never visit me!" XD But further confirmation, that the dreams stop when you're working for the institute.

DAISY: “Boo-hoo, I’m so alone and a monster.” Yeah, those two <3

DAISY: (darkly) "If she doesn’t, I’ll rip her throat out." I love the sound of that line!

Putting that therapy scene into a Web episode was such a mean red herring!

@a-mag-a-day

[silversodas]

Who is possessing Freddy/ What is Vanny/ major spoilers

I am trying to post theories separate, but these two bleed into each other, let’s start with Vanny, I think that the Vanny we encounter in the game is a manifestation or a flavor of poltergeist. We know that William Afton dominates Vanessa buy belittling her putting her in a state of obedience. Based on personal stories people have of being haunted by a poltergeist, the people most affected are the ones in the house with the weakest resolve. A person with inferiority issues from an abusive parent, or people who have been conditioned and expected to show to much obedience in their teen years, and hasn’t had a good effect on their adult life. It sometimes feeds into anger issues from inferiority (some of you may have herd of these stories)

Someone posted that when Roxy talks to herself and is crying in her room it’s almost like she is arguing with a voice in her head especially at the end when she hears Gregory

“Who’s there?” “Stop getting distracted and get back out there!”

That was a really weird and quick tone shift. Vanessa dosnt have any friends, or support system. In a recent post, I theorized that the animatronics, being characters personalities “brought to life” by the souls possessing them, and not remembering who they were. Being thought of as just a vary advanced A.I. , as a result, are being abused by being treated like things, and not seeing that they need validation and attention like a human does. This gives Afton room to feed into Roxy’s self doubt, and into Montys jealousy and violence tendencies (I have no idea about Chica, I might make a post about her another time) and sort of just trickle down whispers that make them lose their resolve allowing him control.

Sunny Drop&Moon Drop fit into this too. Poltergeist also thin resolve through fears and phobias, his “Sunny” disposition gives him a pretty good resolve, but his crippling fear of the dark gives him a pretty big chink in his armor. He only fears the dark because he loses himself and doesn’t come back too till the lights come back on. The intention of the day and night cycle is not really known, but it is intentional they decorate the place with stars and everything

The switch wouldn’t bother an A.I. But it would scare the shit out of someone with a human psyche. So is Moon a different person? I honestly don’t know, I wanna say he is still the same soul maybe just like how the moon represents the subconscious, of things that are hidden and feared, Moon Drop represents Sunnys subconscious. I feel like I am on the right track with that, but I don’t have a lot of details to back it

Vanny, is still part of Vanessa, but Afton uses his energy that he is leaching off of the pizzaplex, Vanessa and the animatronics to manifest Vanny as a poltergeist doing his bidding. Poltergeist, in some stories have the power to induce fear or rage. Vanny distorts reality around her the closer she gets to you, gives me the impression of influencing your perception of reality by making you afraid. And through out the game Freddy cannot see her, until he gets Roxy’s eyes, that is.

That’s Right! Roxy could see so well she could see Ghosts, apparently!

This brings us to who is possessing Freddy, Freddy has an incredible resolve seemingly not touchable by malice. I have herd the candidate’s being Michael or Even (crying child). Even does seem passive and kind, but Freddy just seems way to strong in spirit and he sounds like an older man with his inflections, like a father. A huge chunk of this theory technically belongs to DAGames YouTube channel and their song “Moving Up in The World Tonight” a fan song of Security breach give it a listen it fucking slaps!! In the video, they have lyrics in the assigned colors in the story. Purple lyrics to represent William and Gold lyrics to represent Golden Freddy but then their are lyrics in white text

Wait, white text? Why is the pure white room familiar? Wait! White Guy!

I have only herd of him so I looked him up, his name is Aisu Snow, he was the original creator of the first Freddy Fazbare family dinner. Guys this guy sounds so much like GlamRock Freddy. He wanted to build the restaurant because his daughter Crystal got bullied for her characters she makes up, so Aisu decided to make a restaurant with her characters being the animatronics, and seeing that time and money was put into the project, the kids wouldn’t think they were dumb. That just sounds so proactively sweet. Their is a long list of shit this guy goes through, what’s interesting is that he tried to comfort everyone he could up until his murder. He wanted peace, after his death he woke up in a room of pure white and a voice told him he had to keep the peace at the restaurant. And was described in personality as the nicest person you could ever meet after his death, before death he was weighed down, but even then he tried to help and comfort everyone when he was just as much a victim of Aftons shit

That’s exactly what GlamRock Freddy does, he isn’t against anyone except Afton. He acts as a peaceful ally always trying to keep the peace. If he is Aisu, it would explain this part of the unmasked ending

He looks at all of these toys with such heart braking reverence and then suddenly makes the most aggressive decision we have seen from him. HE BURNS DOWN THE PIZZAPLEX!! Confronts Vanny on the roof and attacks her, it’s worth pointing out that he still tackled her off the roof after she put her hands up and surrendered. It’s like he was planning on taking them both out. Destroying Vanny and freeing Vanessa. (I don’t think he knew about Vanessa and Vanny but it’s still a bonus) If Freddy is Aisu, this ending just got a lot sadder. It shows a heartbroken man seeing his daughters beloved creations that he helped bring to life being used as glorified Venus fly traps and hoping that destroying it all will be the end of it. BUT! That doesn’t explain the confusing lines in the true ending when you get to the Milton Freddy blob and that mirrored line “I am not Me”

I think this is another part of the theory from the song, after the verse with the white text and white room, the next verse is sung in a mock GlamRock Freddy Voice (showing it’s now his point of view) and in gold text

Yeah, despite his resolve Freddy does seem to be struggling with fighting Aftons influence. I think the song is trying to show that he either is Aisu, or he is protected by a blessing form Aisu. That’s probably why Safe mode saved Freddy and made him shut down. Aisu is the safe mode, but there is only so much he can do. So be careful of the wires and don’t ride in Freddy while his battery is low. I am still not sure who he could be, but I do get the feeling he is possessed by an adult

[blookmallow]

Can you do a rating on child animatronics like you did with the clowns

i sure can

welcome to animatronic nightmare preschool

theres a trend ive discussed about spirit before where all their female animatronics tend to be either the “old hag” type, or “creepy little girl” - and now that im thinking about it i actually couldn’t think of any boy characters ive ever seen. i dont know why this is exactly. theres something to analyze there but im not really sure what it is. i found a few but almost ALL of them are little girls. i dont know what to say about this but i did notice it 

there IS a boy in this group though: 

ring around the rosie

enter the ritual 

just some nice kids having a fun time. it may be cliché at this point but i love the “spooky nursery rhyme” trope anyway (and y’know, ring around the rosie was already creepy to begin with. im not sure if the theory that it’s really about the black plague is actually true but its still highly questionable to include the line “ashes, ashes, we all fall down” in a childrens rhyme with no explanation either way) 

for some reason the fact that none of them have hands and its just their sleeves tied together is really funny to me and i dont know why. they also dont have feet and im not sure if its a technical limitation for convenience purposes or if they’re supposed to be little ghost children but it definitely comes across like they’re little ghost children who tied their sleeves together to try to feel like they’re holding hands which is very cute. 10/10 big fan of this one 

i already mentioned harriet hustle in this post, shes fantastic 

angeline

i LOVE this one shes SO cute

i dont really understand how she's supposed to be scary, the description is like "she'll scare the lights out of your guests" or w/e but like, she's just. a kid who can see ghosts. she herself isn't even a ghost. i like her id adopt her i think she'd be a fun addition to a graveyard scene 10/10

abandoned annie

ok technically this one is a doll but im counting her anyway, shes one of my FAVORITE spirit animatronics bc A) i love creepy dolls B) shes cute and most importantly C) her entire fucking face unhinges��i need y’all to watch the video on this one its so good 12/10 ive said this before but animatronics that do something completely fucking unexpected are my absolute favorite 

broken girl 

completely batshit. horrifying. shes actually initially standing upright and then snaps backward and screams and the image does not do it justice i highly recommend the video for this one. not much there as a Character but as “really effective way to scare the shit out of someone” its, i would imagine, incredibly effective. 9/10

there’s also menacing molly who looks similar and has the same kind of “facing away from you but then snaps backward” scare but is on a swing and sings “I see dead people, I see ghosts 💖i see the things that hate you the most” before she does her jumpscare which is incredibly funny to me 

double trouble

creepy little girl trope meets creepy twins trope, at first glance i thought this was just like, discount grady twins (which it looks like they also have, in blatant knockoff form. they’re uh, not good) but it looks like their description backstory is that they killed their mother and disappeared with their rumored-insane father so its slightly different. one of their phrases is “daddy says we have to play outside :( he doesnt want any more blood on the floor” and i love it 

they have a pretty good sense of personality and character to them even if its not necessarily groundbreaking. 7/10

ellie hatchet 

i love this one bc so many of the creepy little girl animatronics are just pretty much standing there being creepy but not ellie. she’s fucking DONE with all of you. you come near her she will swing an axe at your face. 6/10 not really a big stand out but i appreciate her undying rage 

lunging lily 

shes spooky. she jumps out at you. thats about it. i dont really have anything to say about this one. that sure is a creepy little girl that jumpscares you. i like that she goes “help me... help me...” before she jumps out but i feel like it would be hard to get the timing right for that to actually work as a lure to make guests curious where the sound’s coming from since most of these are motion activated. anyway 6/10 shes just not very interesting 

johnny punk 

one of the rare boy characters, i have actually seen him in store and just completely forgot about him because he was that uninteresting. he doesn’t really do much and his backstory on site is just like, “He's got a nice house, loving parents and a severe attitude problem.” 

like this isn’t an undead child back for revenge against those who wronged him or a crazed circus runaway or anything. he’s just a bratty kid. hes like a 13 year old who just saw Joker and has decided to make it his entire personality. this comes across less as a threatening figure and more just like some shitty kid who thinks he’s cool. i glanced at the comments on the wiki page and it turns out absolutely everyone hates him which is completely hilarious to me 

2/10 nobody likes you johnny go do your homework and apologize to your mother 

i also found limb eating zombie boy, who is considerably better 

gross. bloody. would probably be pretty effective if you had him like, placed among some boxes or something so people dont see him at first and aren’t expecting him there. pretty standard zombie. i dont have much to say. He’s Fine. 6/10

mommy’s favorite

ive seen this one in the stores several times, I think we have her there now, and i just don’t. get it? she just moves back and forth with the “shhh” gesture and it’s like, ok, she’s vaguely creepy, but what’s going on here. she just says “don’t wake my mommy! she’s been sleeping for a long time!” so i guess the implication is that her mother is dead and she doesn’t understand, which is just sad rather than scary. the description says she makes mommy’s tea just how she likes it with five drops from the special skull bottle, which could imply she killed her mom, which would make more sense as a horror character, but if that’s How Mommy Likes It that implies the mother instructed her daughter to unknowingly poison her, which is horrifying but in a way darker sense than a spooky halloween prop lmfao 

anyway if i have to go digging into descriptions to try to figure out what this character is or what shes supposed to be or anything i just dont feel like its a very effective character design. and i did read it and i still dont really get it. 2/10 i just feel like im missing something here 

anyway there’s a bunch more variations of “scary possessed child” that are all basically the same, so im just gonna close this out with:

swinging skeletal boy 

allo there, guvna 

look at this dapper little victorian child im gonna cry he’s so cute 

he just swings but has this surprisingly endearing soft little voice which COMPLETELY contrasts the weird shit he actually says. hes this precious little skeleton kid with a sweet little voice who goes “your skin is so nice :) can i have it? haha. that’s okay. I’ll take it when you’re sleeping” 

absolutely love animatronics with that “wait WHAT did that thing just say” factor to them i love this guy 11/10 good boy my new son 

i would also like to mention that people are also continuing to dunk on johnny punk in this guy’s comment section too fsadkflj people hate that shitty joker kid so much their hatred has bled into other completely unrelated swinging children

[godzillareturn2014]

Ghostbusters: Afterlife Review

So I saw Ghostbusters: Afterlife in IMAX and it was great. This film is the true sequel to the original two Ghostbusters films and complete ignore that 2016 flop with the female cast. Similar to the new Halloween trilogy is a true sequel to the original John Carpenter’s Halloween. The story of this film took place 32 years after the events of Ghostbusters 2. It’s about a single mom with her son and daughter has moved to a small town Oklahoma where the late Egon Spengler used to live. But when they moved there, they discover their connection to the Ghostbusters and their grandfather’s secret legacy. When the ghost are set free, they must find to way to end this madness once an for all. I find the story of this film to be very good even though there are a few silly moments and too much fan service. There is a lot of funny moments, surprising moments, and unexpected moments as well. There are also some parts in this film very similar to the first Ghostbusters film. The special effects in this film are also very good. It’s good to know that they used both CGI and practical effects at the same time. The designs of the houses, the town, the cars, the landscape, the ghostbusters inventions, and the suits are very well designed. All the ghosts and those small stay puff marshmallow men are all used in CGI. The creature Zuul in this film is used in both animatronic and CGI. The action scenes in this film a very intense and exciting to look at. Mckenna Grace who was from I, Tonya and The Haunting of Hill House I think did a nice job playing Phoebe Spengler who is the Callie’s daughter, Trevor’s younger sister, and the granddaughter of Egon Spengler who is a middle school girl that is smart and researching her grandfather’s legacy. Trevor Spengler played by Finn Wolfhard who is best known as Mike in Stranger Things and young Richie in It chapter 1 and 2 is a very funny and brave teenage boy who is Phoebe’s older brother, Callie’s son, and the grandson of Egon that works in a burger restaurant and fells in love with a girl named Lucky. I actually did find it funny that Finn Wolfhard did dress up as a Ghostbuster in Starnger Things season 2. Callie Spengler played by Carrie Coon who was from Gone Girl, The Post, and Avengers: Infinity War is the single mother of Trevor and Phoebe and the daughter of Egon. Gary Grooberson played by Ant Man himself Paul Rudd is a middle school teacher who has the knowledge in history, culture, and the paranormal. He is also a Ghostbusters fan. Lucky played by Celeste O’Conner is Trevor’s co worker and love interest. Podcast played by Logan Kim is also a funny character who the classmate and friend of Phoebe. By the way, yes, Peter Venkman played by Bill Murray, Raymond Stantz played by Dan Aykroyd, and Winston Zeddemore played by Ernie Hudson are in this movie but you don’t see them until the last minutes. There are some surprising cameo appears in this film which I will not tell you who it is. Jason Reitman the son of Ivan did an awesome job directing this movie. I’ll bet his father is so proud. The music composed by Rob Simonsen sounds very nostalgic. Overall, this is a great Ghostbusters movie. This is the second best Ghostbusters movie after the first one. I enjoy it more than Ghostbusters 2 and it way better than that unnecessary 2016 failure with I agree with James Rolfe the Angry Video Game Nerd that I too refuse to watch. It also did a way better job than the disappointing Terminator Dark Fate with failed really badly at the box office. Anyway, if you’re a fan of Ghostbusters you will have a wonderful time with this movie. Oh and be sure to stay on the mid and after credits. I will not tell you what happened by you will be surprise. So I give this movie 4 out of 5 nuclear bombs.

[zrtranscripts]

Season 9, Mission 9: Last Night

Blame it on the Vodka

~

[bells ring, distant voice gives call to prayer]

SAM YAO: [groans] Oh, the call to prayer is lovely, but my head really hurts. I guess that means we're in New Agadir. Oh, this must be our hotel. My memory's really fuzzy. Five, is... is that you on the top bunk? [bed frame creaks] Oh. Morning, Five. You look like how I feel. My skull's throbbing, feels like something's stuck to my head. [rubber stretches] Oh, hang on. No, something is stuck to my head. It's a sort of rubbery swimming hat. It's really cold, it's probably not helping my headache. I'll take it off. [rubber snaps]

What happened last night? I mean, we can't be the only ones who made it over the border. Where are the others? And who's got Veronica's briefcase? Ow! Oh, we need to stay calm. My head is killing me. I'm gonna get some water from the bathroom. [door opens, shower water runs, shower curtain whips across curtain rod, zombie moans] Zombie! In the shower! It's-it's soaking wet and tangled up in the shower curtain. We're six floors up, how'd it get here? It's coming after us. We've got to lead it out of the hotel. Run!

~

[zombie moans]

SAM YAO: Oh, the zom's almost on us. There's no time to pay the hotel bill, Five, just keep running, out into the street. [door opens, crowd chatters] Oh! Oh no, we're in the souk. There are people everywhere! Well, we can't leave the zom on the loose. Quick, Five, grab something from that market stall, the one with all the laptops. Yeah yeah yeah, that hard drive looks perfect. Aim at the zom. [zombie flesh squelches] Yes! Nice job, Five, you completely destroyed its head.

SHOPKEEPER: You completely destroyed my hard drive.

SAM YAO: Oh, we're so sorry. I-I can pay for the damage. My wallet's in my pocket.

[cloth rustles, dates squelch]

SHOPKEEPER: Ugh. I don't know what pre-apocalyptic guidebook you read, but dates are not considered currency here.

SAM YAO: My pockets are full of dates. How did they get there? Oh, why can't I remember anything?

SHOPKEEPER: Look, I don't want to involve the city guard, but the damage must be paid for. I'm sure we can come to... an agreement.

SAM YAO: [in a high-pitched voice] Disorganized. Useless things everywhere.

SHOPKEEPER: What did you say about my stall?

SAM YAO: Oh! Oh no, nothing! I mean, [nervous laugh] those words, they just-they just fell out of my mouth. Your stall's lovely!

SHOPKEEPER: Guards!

SAM YAO: Oh, no no no! Please no. I didn't mean to say that. I didn't even think it! [guard whistles] Oh no, it's the guards. Didn't Mo say the ones on the gates in the city were employed by New Agadir, not Skull-Kicker? Still, maybe if we explain...

GUARD: It's those two again. After them!

SAM YAO: Again? What did we do last night? Oh, come on, Five, we can't get caught. Run!

~

[goats bleat, chickens cluck, crowd chatters]

SAM YAO: All right, we've lost the guard, but we're surrounded by... goats, chickens, and uh... [mechanical sounds] robotic horses. I think we're in the livestock market.

MARYAM ABANI: Sam, Five, is that you?

SAM YAO: Uh, hello. Do we know each other?

MARYAM ABANI: We met last night.

SAM YAO: Oh yeah. Um, if it's not a rude question, why are you in a goat pen?

MARYAM ABANI: I'm in a what? Oh, I have no idea. Oh, how embarrassing.

SAM YAO: Don't be embarrassed. I can't even remember your name.

MARYAM ABANI: I'm Maryam Abani. Amelia Spens sent me to rendezvous with you outside New Agadir's walls.

SAM YAO: Did she? Then why didn't she tell us?

MARYAM ABANI: She intended to, but perhaps her transmission was intercepted.

SAM YAO: But why exactly did Amelia send you?

MARYAM ABANI: I'm a medical doctor. I believe I'm meant to replace... Dr. Myers?

SAM YAO: Maxine! Oh, okay. Yeah, we do need someone who can impersonate the doctor in Death's Hand. You can sort of hand-wave a lot of things, but it's hard to pretend to know how to take out an appendix if you don't.

MARYAM ABANI: [laughs] I believe I'm to play the part of Doctor Death, which is interesting.

SAM YAO: You should see who I'm supposed to be.

MARYAM ABANI: I think you might have told me something about it last night.

SAM YAO: Do you remember anything else?

MARYAM ABANI: The New Agadir city walls are encircled by a ring of traders. Last night, I found you in one of the refreshment tents and we started making plans to get you into the city.

[flashback]

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: It will not be so simple to get across this border into New Agadir. Skull-Kicker holds a monopoly on all advanced tech in the city. Anyone carrying new technology must surrender it to protect the city from infiltration by virus or spyware. Veronica would surely be taken, as would your headsets. Our heroics with Medhi will grant us no exception. We need a plan.

MARYAM ABANI: Let's have some tea while we have a think.

JANINE DE LUCA: I hardly think tea will help.

MARYAM ABANI: Nonsense. Sharing tea is a wonderful way to cement new relationships. I wouldn't have survived the fall of Lagos without a nice bottle of jasmine tea. Also my medical hammer. It turned out to be more useful at caving in zombie skulls than the makers probably intended.

JANINE DE LUCA: Well, I suppose some refreshments would be in order. [tea set clinks, tea pours] It's rather nice, actually.

FRANCES DEMSPEY: [slurps] Yum!

SAM YAO: Mm. Oh, that's delicious. Five, try some.

PETER LYNNE: Mm. Oh! Oh, that's um... it's really um, it's fresh and sort of floral and uh... Mo, aren't you having any?

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: [sniffs] Is this cactus tea?

MARYAM ABANI: I thought it was mint.

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: No, it's cactus, which should not be enjoyed by people who have a heavily-patrolled border to cross! It's very fast-acting! Everyone, stop drinking.

FRANCES DEMSPEY: I do feel a bit light-headed.

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: This is a disaster!

JANINE DE LUCA: Calm down, Mr. Boujettif, we're bonding. Dr.... whatever your name is, have you heard of the McShell maneuver?

MARYAM ABANI: No, tell me about it.

JANINE DE LUCA: Well, you... Uh, how would you explain it?

SAM YAO: Ah, that, well, that, well... McShell's just for zombies, uh, really, but um... Sir, may I, can I borrow your goat? [goat bleats, SAM clears throat] Maryam, now imagine this goat is a zombie. And if two people run away from it at exactly the same speed and distance... Well, we'll show you. Come on, Five, let's confuse some goats.

~

[flashback continues]

[crowd chatters]

MARYAM ABANI: I-I think I've got the hang of it?

JANINE DE LUCA: As you can see, the McShell maneuver is an effective method of leading goats... [laughs] zombies into -

[goat bleats, table crashes over]

SAM YAO: - into the refreshment table. I guess, unlike zombies, goats don't follow the closest target. Unless that target's a platter of dates. Aha! Don't worry. If I put all of them, the dates in my pockets, then the goat can't eat them.

[dates squelch]

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: [laughs] Sam, stop.

MARYAM ABANI: Maybe we're not using enough goats? Once we're over the border, let's try again.

[present time]

SAM YAO: So you got over the border and went looking for goats?

MARYAM ABANI: And passed out in their pen. What a terrible first impression!

SAM YAO: Don't worry, I'm sure none of the others remember. That tea was really potent.

MARYAM ABANI: Mhmmm. Speaking of the others, where are they?

SAM YAO: No idea. I'm worried about Veronica. It sounds like we'd have needed to smuggle her over. Maybe – [high-pitched voice] Head!

MARYAM ABANI: What? What?

SAM YAO: Ignore me. That is the second time this morning I've blurted something involuntarily. I do have a splitting headache.

MARYAM ABANI: Oh. It could be an aftereffect of the tea.

SAM YAO: Well, if we all drank it, none of us would have been in a fit state to get Veronica across the border. We could have left her on the other side.

MARYAM ABANI: I can lead you back to the border, but we'll have to hurry before anyone steals your machine. Come on Sam, Five. Run!

~

[crowd chatters]

MARYAM ABANI: There's a chain link fence at the border and a contraband store on the other side. The guards are selling off confiscated goods, though Skull-Kicker usually keeps the best tech.

SAM YAO: If they took Veronica, she could have been sold.

FRANCES DEMPSEY: Sam, Five, there you are! I couldn't wake you up this morning, so I came here alone, but it looks like you had the same idea. Have you found Veronica?

SAM YAO: Not yet.

FRANCES DEMPSEY: Wait, you're Maryam, aren't you? I remember meeting you, and then tea, and then... Oh.

SAM YAO: And then what? Frances, you have to tell us everything you remember.

FRANCES DEMPSEY: We made quite the fool of ourselves, Maryam.

[flashback]

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: That goat has made a terrible mess, and now the guards think you're troublemakers. To smuggle Veronica into the city now, you'll need to buy the most conspicuous piece of contraband you can find and carry it over the border.

JANINE DE LUCA: Mr. Boujettif, I am a highly experienced tactician, and that doesn't make sense.

MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: You're not a highly experienced tactician, you're a trader and a dilettante. Someone who doesn't do their research, cannot handle their tea, and absolutely not the sort of person who'll be trusted with an advanced computer.

JANINE DE LUCA: Ah, clever. Miss Dempsey, Dr.... Doctor, would you care to undertake this very important mission?

FRANCES DEMPSEY: Yes.

MARYAM ABANI: What was the question?

FRANCES DEMPSEY: We're going shopping, Maryam. Come on!

~

[flashback continues]

[crowd chatters]

FRANCES DEMPSEY: We've got to find the stupidest bit of contraband on this whole stall.

[bees buzz]

MARYAM ABANI: What about this jar of animatronic bees?

FRANCES DEMPSEY: Too small. Mo said we needed something to get us noticed. Like this!

[cloth rustles]

MARYAM ABANI: Is that a zombie? What's wrong with it?

FRANCES DEMPSEY: It's dead, Maryam.

[MARYAM and FRANCES laugh]

MARYAM ABANI: I mean, why does it look like jerky, and why isn't it moving?

FRANCES DEMPSEY: It must have dried up in the salt flats. It's so leathery.

MARYAM ABANI: It stinks.

FRANCES DEMPSEY: It's perfect.

MARYAM ABANI: Let's get it back to the others.

[glass shatters]

GUARD: All units to zone six.

MARYAM ABANI: You don't think that's anything to do with us?

FRANCES DEMPSEY: Let's avoid the guards, just in case. There aren't any by that fence, come on. [footsteps] Where are we?

MARYAM ABANI: I think we crossed the border by mistake while the guards were distracted.  

FRANCES DEMPSEY: Is that a good thing?

MARYAM ABANI: I-I can't remember. Maybe?

FRANCES DEMPSEY: Let's go to our hotel and wait for the others.

MARYAM ABANI: I'll catch up with you. I need to find some goats.

[present time]

SAM YAO: Frances, once you got back to the hotel, you didn't put the desiccated zombie in the shower by any chance?

FRANCES DEMPSEY: No idea. Why?

SAM YAO: No reason.

MARYAM ABANI: Look, that man has Veronica's briefcase!

SAM YAO: We've got to stop him. Run!

~

[crowd chatters]

FRANCES DEMPSEY: Hey! You with a briefcase, stop!

BUYER: Excuse me?

SAM YAO: Uh, hello sir. Your briefcase... [high-pitched voice] Not necessary.

BUYER: Excuse me?

MARYAM ABANI: I'm sorry, he had a late night.

SAM YAO: Uh, please, uh, can we see that briefcase?

BUYER: No.

FRANCES DEMPSEY: I can see the monogram. I'm sorry, but there's been a mistake. This belongs to us.

BUYER: I bought it only an hour ago.

MARYAM ABANI: Can we buy it back from you? Sam, do you have any money?

SAM YAO: Uh...

BUYER: It's not for sale. I like the color. Good day!

SAM YAO: I can't believe I'm about to say this, but Five, can you... grab it!

BUYER: How dare you! Give that back!

SAM YAO: We're really, really sorry, but we need it because our friend is sort of -

FRANCES DEMPSEY: Veronica's not inside! All her components have been torn out. There's nothing in the briefcase except papers.

BUYER: Yes, my papers. Guards, guards!

GUARD: It's those reprobates! After them!

SAM YAO: Oh no, not again! Five, give the briefcase back and run! We can't get caught by the city guards. We're wanted for disorderly conduct, destruction of property, and now theft!

MARYAM ABANI: Not to mention anything else we got up to last night.

FRANCES DEMPSEY: Don't panic. We'll find Janine, Peter, Mo, and Veronica and get this all sorted out. Just keep running!

~

[lucarioisinthevoid]

I don't want to bother you and you likely have better prompts to do, but it would be really fun to see Henry have to deal with both Springtrap and ScrapTrap specifically for potential angst purposes on both ends. Some side characters that would make good filler might be Nightmare and - Maybe Mangle?

(“You likely have better prompts to do”- pal, fam, buddy, this blog has like… ten followers and maybe three askers, and I love every single one of them dearly. I try to bring the prompts out on a “one per day” basis, to ensure they won’t get too long and to show I’m still doing it, so if I don’t put one out, you can feel sure there’s nothing left. Also, good on you for asking for these two! I had a realization about how it’s kinda impossible to die to certain people, like Mr. Hippo- especially since I was just having a great time creating a little game-over interaction and then figured out “wait a minute, that won’t happen, he’s 100% fooled by the lure” So instead I’ll adjust depending on what the ask offers. If it’s a matter of “I wonder if he can survive this”/”I wonder who he’ll die to”, I’ll write that out, but if it’s a “I wonder how he’ll react to that character” Just taking up the Dave™, and only playing to see if I die to Scraptrap, seeing as he DID manage to catch me off guard before. (Also Deedee) Yes. I should have put more thought into the mechanics before. And YES. I already thought up way too much lore for this one-off “time in hell” thing. But y’know how it is. You think or you die. I don’t even think of lore, it just pops into my head, that’s why my stories are so disorganized Anyways, ENJOY! I don’t think the torture this time around is so bad, I basically cut away before anything really bad happens)

It was quiet this time around. But Henry wouldn’t be tricked by it. You’d think that only two animatronics being active would make this night a cakewalk, but the fact that he was faced with two animatronics that… were Dave… He wasn’t looking forward to it. Before he had left the office he had been offered to take some “benefits” along, but… he didn’t want to admit to being concerned. Not to mention that it wouldn’t help him. Maybe the Deedee repel- this one however seemed better preserved for later. After the panic she had put him into, it was probably more appropriate to use it when he truly was in over his head. … oh, he would eat those words later, wouldn’t he? … it hardly mattered. What even WAS she? How did she come here? Why could she simply activate machines like this? Perhaps that was what Satan looked like. At this point he wouldn’t even be surprised. With a sigh he quickly raised the tablet, putting on the generator. It would keep him safe from the lights going out, that was well-worth dealing with the headache inducing noise. Out of morbid curiosity he switched from the main control on the tablet to the vents. ‘Click on nodes to set vent snare’. … christ… a snare…? A snare trap…? That was vicious. Probably very effective though… against anyone but Dave. It was Dave in that suit. It always had been Dave in that suit. After all the fruitless attempts trying to get this stupid suit get possessed, Henry had to come to accept that- Dave’s spirit was already inside and it wasn’t willing to share with anyone. The Springbonnie suit COULD probably have walked by itself if Dave would have wanted it- if Dave would have TRIED for it. … there were a lot of things William could have made happened, if he had just TRIED. Trying to get the bitter taste out of his mouth, Henry grimaced, staring at the screen as Dave moved along the vents. To think that this was the man who looked at him with pity, as if he was something weak and- … to think that he had been the only one witnessing his pathetic death. It hurt in a very special way. Hell, he couldn’t even point out how- WHY it was this bad. Was it the humiliation? Or was it the simple fact that he had died this terrible manner and all he could think about when remembering Dave and his- old life. Old life. … was this even the Dave he knew? Was this William? Or was it merely a manifestation of memories and thoughts, pulled right out of his head? Staring at the screen he watched as Dave approached. Surprisingly, he took the long way around. How peculiar. For some reason he had assumed Dave would make a B-line for the vent entrance, but he was approaching from the entirely different side. Was he assuming he could catch him off-guard? Well- either way, he was almost here. Putting down the monitor, Henry peered into the vent in front of him, trying to catch a glance- The whole room started to shake, together with the awfully loud rattling and screeching from the side. For a few seconds blind panic took ahold in his brain, as it always did when heard this damn noise- then he stumbled over and smashed the right side buttons, causing the doors to that side to snap shut. An inhuman scream ripped through the air. It was Henry’s name but sounding so distorted, so filled with SPITE, that he couldn’t even comprehend at the moment- only a few seconds after he heard it, his brain could decipher it. And when it did, he wished it didn’t. If everyone came from a potential different dimension, he didn’t want to know where THIS creature was coming from and why William had turned out like this. Sure, he had a few ideas… none of them were good though. … in none of those scenarios he would have wanted to meet him. Thankfully he had managed- so he opened the doors back up, falling back into his chair. Alright, alright, unless the demon child showed back up, this should now be easy to handle- Looking up he spotted a withered Springbonnie, with bright white eyes staring down at him from the vents. For a few moments both just stared at each other. Then Henry raised an eyebrow. “… is there any way I can help you?” “Aw shucks! Ya saw me! You’ve always been too good at this!” Smiling brightly Dave looked down at him, not moving any closer to the entrance. “… but who was THAT, Henry?” There was something about the question that made the place go quieter. The animatronics seemed generally vaguely aware of each other and their co-existence beyond the confinements of time and space, so- was Dave trying to trick him? For what purpose though? “… I do not know, Dave. I have not seen this creature yet.” A lie. Shifting his vent opening, Dave tilted his head, still grinning. “Ya don’t know? But don’t you know everything?” The words came with a certain edge to them. Or maybe Henry was simply growing more and more paranoid of the being in the vents. “I know… almost everything. There is a difference, Dave. For example… I do not know why you are inside of a suit like this.” “… yeah, that’s a mystery, ain’t it, Henry?”   The air was getting worse, the human’s breath was becoming erratic. “… are you okay, Henry?” Crawling forward Dave tried to get in. “If ya need some help-“ Instantly Henry crushed down the vent door, opening his camera system to resetting the ventilation to ensure he could keep breathing- then he put it down again, opening up the vent once more to a now VERY disgruntled seeming Dave. “The fuck was that for! Why did ya lock me out?!” “I had to take care of urgent business.” “I could have helped.” Moving slightly back, the person inside the animatronic hissed. “You’ve always did this, Henry. You’ve always done this to me.” “With good reason.” Snapping, Henry harshly slapped his hands on the office table, showing his teeth. “I was always right about you. You are not getting to threaten me now, William. You are not getting to play innocent in this place. No. William, I know you would do it.” “Do what?” Equally as aggressive, Davetrap snapped back at him. “You would ensure my death.” “That’s ludicrous! You ensured your OWN death! Maybe if ya would have trusted me more and wouldn’t have used me like some sort of- PAWN, maybe then you wouldn’t have been snacked on by a stupid doggo!” “Nonsense!” Henry hissed. “That is not what I am talking about in either case. It did not matter what I did for you, did it? It never mattered. William, you are not capable of loyalty, you are not capable of putting duty over your selfish, petty desires. For a few moments, for a little, yes, but once the urge becomes too strong, you snap back into your animalistic nature. You needed guidance, but you did not care for it. All you cared for was getting what you wanted. And once someone could offer you more than me, you turned on me.” Bitterly Dave scoffed. “Ya think that and there’s no way to change your mind, is there? Never was. Henry, think about it from my perspective for a moment maybe- if you would have treated me like an actual friend, like an actual equal partner, instead of seeing me as an untamed animal that may turn on ya any given second- maybe then I would have not yearned for someone who did.” “You are not getting around this, you are not getting around betraying me, I gave you a LAST chance and you have-“ “No Henry, YOU are not getting around this.” Coldly Dave snapped at him, stopping him from saying anything further, the icy disgust evident in his words. “You think you can turn anything and everything into a game of ‘give some, get some’. You think you can simmer friendships down to a little spreadsheet of what you’re owed and what you give. Frankly, though, you’re good at it, pal. Even with all the animosity you’ve always harbored for me deep inside of ya, you’ve always ensured I’d get my cut and felt treated well. But the thing is, Henry, and I know ya don’t get it, but there’s more to friendship than just the sum of its parts. There’s more to a partnership than a simple dividin’ of responsibility and benefits. The whole time we were together, you were alone in your head. You thought of me as a little add-on. Were you scared of what I’m capable of? Of losing control? Or were you scared of having someone with you in your head? Somethin’ you’d miss if it ever disappeared? Henry, old friend, I wanted to ask you something, ever since your stupid speech- what did you ACTUALLY want?” “What- what do you mean?” Laying inside of the vent, he made a vague gesture. “Your whole… deal. Immortality and stuff. Why? For what?” “I-“ Yet before he could explain himself, William interrupted him again. “No. I’m not askin’ for what you THINK you did it for. I’m askin’ for what you actually did it for. Because ya can ramble on about a utopia all you like, it doesn’t matter for you, does it? Will it fix you? Building a society of immortals… do you think it’s going to stop you from waking up at night, worryin’ someone might come to kill you? That you’ll be able to see people as people and not as props? That you’re gonna get better if you just live long enough? You’re miserable, Henry. You lived your entire life alone, while surrounded by others and you’d hate immortality, unless you truly believe it’ll give you the chance to change.” “You are speaking NONSENSE!” Heated, the Pink Guy raised his voice at him. “I was doing FINE! Hell, even if not, so what!? My wish to finish humanity and give it its full potential was NOT a selfish one. I am NOT miserable, I am NOT lonely, my plans were impeccable and selfless and you-“ “Henry.” It almost sounded soft. “You need help. Let me in.” At that Henry closed the vent, reset the ventilation and slowly balled his fist, trying to remain as calm as possible. Through the door, Dave’s concerningly calm and certain voice sounded, almost completely muffled. “… eventually you’ll let me in, old friend. I know that. You know that. And it actually doesn’t matter what I say! I wouldn’t even need to convince ya. Because you can’t stand the feelin’ of being stuck. Because you’ll try out everything. Now that you’re immortal, you have nothing to reach for- so you will reach for everything.” The clock chimed. Six AM. Henry stumbled to the saferoom. He had to find a way out of this place. Fast.

[kyndaris]

Date with Destiny (with a Capital D)

When I watched the announcement at E3 about Final Fantasy VII Remake, I was terribly excited. Though the Final Fantasy series has been one of my favourites since I first played Final Fantasy X, I have never actually played the original Final Fantasy VII.Instead, I read everything I could find and watched walkthroughs (including Dirge of Cerberus) as well as the film: Advent Children and Advent Children Complete. When Crisis Core released on PlayStation Portable (PSP), I also bought that to immerse myself in the entirety of the Final Fantasy VII universe. And when I told one of my close friends, Bleachpanda, about it, they were surprised that I had never played the original. But while I could have purchased the re-release on the PlayStation 4, I wanted to see the game that had captured the imagination of so many people in high definition quality.

As most people in Australia know, the game released a whole nine days earlier than it was supposed to: on 1st of April. After I had mistakenly taken the express train, I was perusing my messages and saw my friend post her excitement that Final Fantasy VII Remake was out. Immediately, I used my situation to my advantage and went to buy the game - despite the fact that I had no facial mask and was entering a shopping centre with a possible high risk of infection. After sweating up a storm by rushing to all the stores, I finally had the copy in hand. 

However, it would not be until I had finished Yakuza 4 that I could begin my journey with Cloud and the Avalanche team. Suffice it to say, I was incredibly excited. From the score to Cloud’s lovely cheekbones. In fact, I could not believe my good fortune that I was actually playing the game. It didn’t seem real that I would have in my hands despite the ongoing pandemic. From there, my hype built as I defeated the Scorpion sentinel and moved on to the Seventh Heaven. When Tifa’s theme sounded, I had to resist the urge to shed a tear. 

I might not have played the original, but gosh darn it, I loved the characters as much as any fan.

Even the little details were so exciting to see. Though there were several changes to the game, it was clear that the developers loved the game as much as its fans did. I liked how Cloud and the gang kept their victory poses for when they were in the Coliseum. The up-scaled Church, the bar, Wall Market and Aerith’s house. Learning more about many of the side characters also helped build a solid connection to them. From Jessie’s tragic backstory of her dad collapsing in Mako storage in her debut as the role of Princess at the Golden Saucer (goodness me, if she knew about the shenanigans of Cloud and the rest of the party, she’d probably throw a fit), to Bigg’s contribution to the Sector 5 orphanage. This even extended to the differences in Tifa’s and Aerith’s cleavage sizes. Not that I was paying particular attention...

Okay, maybe a little. But I’m glad that they also gave appropriate footwear and gear for the characters. 

But my goodness, that pull-up challenge took me fifty minutes! It wasn’t even in the original! And the trophy did not feel worth it after how difficult Jules was. Never again! 

Then the characters also called me out for going in the wrong direction. I’m not! I’m trying to explore every nook and cranny of this world Square-Enix has bequeathed us and to find as many items as I can find! 

The combat, though, was the one that had the most changes. Gone is the turn-based battle system. While players can play on classic, according to my friend Bleachpanda, it was less than exciting. Particularly when the AI just stood around guarding most of the time. As for me, I played on Normal Mode. The battle mechanics felt like they used bits and pieces from other games: such as Final Fantasy XV and Final Fantasy XIII. It also incorporated elements of the original Active Time Battle system, but I found it frustrating that all of my more powerful abilities, and even items, were gated behind a slowly rising bar - particularly for the AI-controlled party members. Of course, Final Fantasy VII Remake also allowed players to switch between members and I found I had to do this on a fairly regular basis depending on the battle. 

Also, your ATB abilities, spells and item usages could also be interrupted. This proved particularly frustrating in difficult battles where I was hoping to take advantage of an enemy’s weakness, only to be batted to the side because of an air attack.

It also felt, on numerous fights, that I had to think of these battles less like a turn-based battle and more like an action adventure, hack and slash. Instead of just absorbing spells and attacks, I needed to evade and guard. This was clearly evident in several solo battles with Roche and even Rufus Shinra. I had to read attack patterns, avoid some of their deadly moves and strike when they had an opening. All the while, trying to keep my ATB gauge up and ready for some quick healing or spell casting. 

Let’s move on now to the characters and the story. But where to begin? How about the ending that proved incredibly divisive among many fans. My friend, Bleachpanda, was sorely disappointed by the presence of the Whispers and how the last two chapters transpired. She, unlike me, had been banking on nostalgia to pull her and was more excited to seeing the original recreated in perfect high definition. If you read her posts on Final Fantasy VII Remake you will learn that she was mightily disappointed that how Cloud manages to obtain his dress was very different (although she probably still liked our ex-Soldier shaking his tush on stage. Heck, I think everyone was channelling Aerith and shouting at our screens for Cloud to work it). 

The whole talk of destiny and changing fate, though, probably left many fearing that the rest of the Final Fantasy VII Remake would be a very different beast from their childhoods. What with talk about alternate timelines and the possibility of time travel. As well as that last parting shot of Zack Fair. In fact, there are plenty of videos on YouTube that try to explain the ending. 

Now, I profess, time travel has always sat ill with me. And Square-Enix has not always used it well. The first Bravely Default comes to mind as does Kingdom Hearts 3 and the time loops of Type-0. Or even what they tried to do with the Final Fantasy XIII franchise. All those retcons in FFXIII-2 made me wonder if it was all worth it. Lightning’s character development in the first game was all but forgotten and rehashed over Lightning Returns. Still, as this was mostly penned by the original writer (though people will still blame Nomura), I feel like much of the motivations and several story beats will remain the same. The settings will also not change and I am eager to see Cosmo Canyon, Nibelheim, Junon and so many other places.

In saying that, though, I’m not sure if Aerith will die. Or if she does, whether it will have the same shocking effect that it did in the original. Of course, by now, everyone and their mothers know what to expect and perhaps this was a way for Square Enix to keep players on their toes. What about Cloud falling into the Lifestream and Tifa trying to sort out his memories from the false persona he created? The slap fight between Tifa and Scarlet? My friend, Bleachpanda, just wants to see Professor Hojo surrounded by girls that are trying to flirt with him. Who knows. It might happen. Or it might not. Hence why so many are terrified at the direction of the new games.

The rest of the narrative, however, proved just as exciting with a few little additions along the way. Sephiroth appearing, though, in the second chapter threw me for a loop, even though I appreciated the foreshadowing. Chapter 4 was all devoted to learning and bonding more with the other members of Avalanche. I very much liked their expanded roles, although casting Gideon Emery as Biggs was a bit of a distraction as I could clearly hear his Balthier trying to break through, particularly in the earlier scenes. Don’t get me wrong, I love my Balthier. And Biggs is quite good looking himself.

This whole Midgar portion of the game also remained mostly faithful to the original Final Fantasy VII and its timeline. It also made things a little more realistic and showed fans of the original, more sides of the characters they had come to love. Also, I like that despite the love triangle being set up between Cloud, Tifa and Aerith, there was a strong sense of camaraderie among the girls. They lifted each other up rather than tear each other down. Even Jessie was trying to get in on the action with all the flirting she did. In fact, I just wanted to ship Aerith and Tifa for the long haul. 

What I also thought cute was the little swear the left Aerith’s lips when the ladder fell and Cloud had to help lift her up. It was also comical to see Cloud try to pull his Buster Sword out when confronted by one of the other Sephiroth clones and having it catch on the door jam. 

Barret, on the other hand, was a little preachy in the first few chapters. There can be no denying his love for Marlene, but it grated on me how much exposition he provided on the train ride back to Sector 7. Still, once we finally get into the meat of the games, I would love to see all their backstories, cry when appropriate and cheer for them when they finally emerge victorious. 

I also liked many of the environmental story telling. Particularly in Chapter 2 and seeing the aftermath of what Avalanche’s actions had done. Granted, Heidegger and President Shinra had a hand in it, but it was clear that Jessie and many others were devastated by the damage they had wrought. It was also gut-wrenching to see the remains of Sector 7 after the plate fell. Reeve, in the form of Cait Sith, tried and failed to save the people and even though he was controlling an animatronic cat, you could still see his devastation.

Overall, I have to say that I enjoyed my time with Final Fantasy VII Remake. By the time the game ended, I felt a little bereft, wanting to see more of each character and really dive down deep into their psych. Just like before, Tifa is much more reticent and closed off. It warmed my heart that in Hojo’s lab, Aerith asked Tifa if she was okay. As someone who is also similarly guarded, it’s good to know that someone else cares. Red XIII was also a great addition in the last two chapters, though it was a shame we could not play as him. 

The ending might have left a sour taste in the mouths of many, but I know that I, for one, am eager to see where the unknown journey takes us next and seeing old familiar faces. We still have Cid, Yuffie and Vincent to find! Also, Marlene is so cute and precious and must be protected at all costs.

[testifytime]

do everything for me, you already know about me BUT: im described as "chaotic faggot" by my friends, i have no filter, I can switch from being outgoing to really nervous in a second, i like drawing, dice, and divinitation. i hoard candles and incense, and i like paintball.

- A Pokemon team/type theme (+ fun facts abt your team!)

Your team is full of Poison types! They’re used the most often for rascly lil fucker trainers, so, it fits :3c

Your signature Pokemon is Toxtricity, though your team also consists of Whirlipede, Haunter, Gloom, Toxicroak, and Crobat!

Fun facts!

Your Toxtricity was sent to you by your juggabro. In his words, it’s a “cool Pokemon to fit your aesthetic but keep you on track”. It can be pretty overprotective, but sometimes it turns a blind eye to the more chaotic things you do. 

Your Whirlipede is just an entire baby. Even though it’s got toxic spikes on its shell that COULD kill you, it’s pretty much a lapbug. You just have to try and remind it to be careful before it goes in for snuggles. 

Your Haunter and Gloom actually kind of hate each other! Having them out at the same time often ends up with you either getting paralysed or put to sleep. They’re super sweet when they’re apart, though, and both LOVE scritches. 

Toxicroak used to be really loveydovey when it was a Croagunk, but now it acts like it’s too cool for school. It’s really not. If you pay more attention to another Pokemon it WILL jab you in the stomach. And then it’ll pretend like it totally wasn’t even because it was jealous. 

Your Crobat is the sweetest of the bunch!! It likes to collect (read: steal) things for you that it thinks you’ll like, and is almost always attached to your back out of its Pokeball. Sometimes without you wanting it to be. It can be a bit of a pain, sometimes. 

- Bloodcaste/lusus/chumhandle as if you were a Homestuck troll (+lore)

You’re a purpleblood with a seaserpent lusus! Your chumhandle is acquiredTalisman. 

You live with your lusus in a hive that boarders where the jungle forest ends and the beach begins. It’s a pretty popular spot for violetbloods, admittedly, but it’s also the only place your giantass Seaserpentdad can actually fit; the mouth of the river is deep and leads directly out into the ocean, where he spends most of his time. The hive itself is pretty cluttered - because man, you suck at keeping shit tidy - and filled to the brim with your dice collections, your religious paraphenalia, and all the random junk you’ve stolen (of which there is a lot). 

You have a few interests, of which the main is your religion. You’re a diviner of sorts, oddly sought out by your fellow purplebloods to tell them what their purpose is in life as stated by the Great Mirthful Messiahs. You’re not entirely sure that they really do speak through you, but your readings are scary-accurate, and not only does it mean that you’ve made more friends, but you’ve made a fuck tonne of money, too. You’re more fond of practicing with your friends, or on your own, sneaking what you can beneath your lusus’ snout; so far, he hasn’t seemed to question the candle collection you have, or the alter with the Faygo bottlecaps, or the cards, or pendulum made from a grubbone you got from one of your customers. Actually, he hasn’t noticed much of anything? You’re hesitant to go TOO far, but you do like pushing at what you can get away with every now and then. 

On top of that, you love to draw - mostly as a form of worship, but also just for fun with your juggabros. You send drawings back and forth, even though you’ve never been able to meet them, and it’s pretty fun! You hope one day that you can get them to your favourite hangout spot to cause a little chaos - which usually means trashing the violetbloods’ rich boy shit and stealing things you know they’re too proud to tattle about. You don’t... always remember doing those things? But you definitely remember the amount of violetbloods that give you nasty glares whenever you walk past. It’s okay, though. You have a rifle and you’re not afraid to use it.

Beyond that, though, you’re... kind of lonely. There’s nobody that you really consider a friend around you, and when your friends do visit you, it’s only every few months. Having all those customers and the nasty violetbloods hanging around is great, sure, but... sometimes you wish you could move your hive closer inland to be near your juggabros. You could, you guess. But then where would your lusus go?

Your lusus is kind of ridiculously huge. You really couldn’t miss him even on the horizon, his giant form standing stark against the two moons. Not that he spends a whole lot of time above the water, though. He pretty much only comes back to get fed and throw a fit if he sees any of your purpleblood customers hanging around. 

- Symbol/guardian/chumhandle as if you were a Homestuck kid (+lore)

Your symbol is a and your guardian is your big bro! Your chumhandle is augmentedTemptation.

You and your older bro kick it in a sweet lil bottom-floor apartment. It’s kinda dingy, kinda shitty, but it’s the best he can afford and you’re not really one to complain when you know how hard he works just to keep the leaky roof over your head. It’s got everything you want out of a home, anyway; separate bedrooms, tiny bathroom, sweet hangout pad that doubles as a kitchen (which you’ve got a curtain draped over so that it looks like they’re two rooms) - it’s pretty neat. It’s also got a fire escape out the back and easy access to the lobby doors that’re easy to pick, so you figure it’s kinda home. 

You absolutely fucking love to play paintball. You’ve got a painball gun that you maybe stole from the store once, and a couple pellets you’ve been buying for cheap online whenever you have the money. You don’t... actually have anyone to play with, but hey, cop cars make a great target. It feeds into your general need for chaos, which isn’t limited to - but has involved - petty theft, breaking into cars, and spray painting defametory phrases against racists and homophobes on billboards. You’ve never actually been caught. Okay, you got caught once, but you’re really good at crying. You’re pretty sure your bro doesn’t know about that.

You like to practice witchy shit in your spare time. You’ve got altars set up for your patrons, and a candle collection that you really don’t know that you’re ever gonna burn through. Plus, incense! Your bro kind of hates the smell, but you just crack open a window and it’s like he doesn’t even know. You’ve also got a pretty fair collection of crystals, but that’s more because people just keep giving them to you? It’s wild what they’ve thought were just normal rocks, and you’re pretty sure some of your collection could sell for a pretty buck, but they make way better offerings. 

Of course, you also love to talk to your friends online. You have a bunch! You’re pretty easy to get on with, you think, so you end up just kinda collecting people into one giant group of friends that never stops growing. You share art, play games, chat, make them worried sick when you do dumb shit - it’s great. 

Sometimes at dusk you like to go up to the roof of the apartment block you and your bro live in and stand right on the edge. It’s so high up you can see around for miles, and everything below you looks like a speck of dust beneath your feet. The stars twinkle above you in the darkening sky, just barely visible, and you think, every now and then, that you are very, very small. 

- A FNAF animatronic design and name

You’re a broken down animatronic, probably one of the earliest of your kind. Maybe even a prototype? Nobody really remembers anymore. You’ve just kind of always been there, at the back of the store, half a body and more coherent than people expect you to be, but never fully quite there. Your head lulls back and forth, your arms moving sluggishly, and in order to get around, you drag yourself across the floor.

You can speak, but not by much. It’s glitchy and switched out more often than not, absolutely terrifying to hear in the dark - but you’re a pretty sweet soul, all things considered. The few who’ve been brave enough to slip back behind the old, abandoned doors, past the cobwebs and through the narrow halls, who haven’t run at the first sight of you, tell tales of a sweet carcass who seemed more scared of being found than anything else. 

There are a couple kids who routinely come back to visit you. They like to give you things they’ve found outside the pizzaria, mostly coins and old dice and things that smell sweet to try and cover up how musty you are. 

You’ve never hurt a soul the entire time you’ve been there, but your reputation has been built on the whispers of kids who’ve seen the rotting maw of your muzzle, the glint of your endoskeleton and the shine of your eyes in the dark. They call you Thing - as if giving you a name will make you come to life. 

The ones that know you better call you Peppi. 

- A BNHA Quirk and hero title

Your Quirk is Corroding Touch. Despite its name, and how terrifying it sounds, your quirk is pretty simple! Anything you touch wastes away, and you can control how far along its own personal timeline it decays through. For instance, you could touch a flower and have it start wilting, and stop there on its timeline - or you could have it waste away to a point that it decays completely and turns to mush. 

The drawback here is that what you’re doing is essentially speeding up a natural process. Things that don’t waste away without outside forces - such as rocks through erosion - won’t be affected by your quirk. Things that live very long lives before decaying - such as turtles - will take up a lot more of your time to speed them through their natural timeline. Finally, you can’t reverse what you’ve done. Once you’ve sped it through its natural timeline, there’s no going back; another quirk will have to undo the effects.

Of course, it also means that if you plant an oak seed, instead of waiting hundreds of years for it to grow into an oak tree, you can just use your quirk to speed up the process. So it’s a good-bad thing!

Your hero title is the Wasteful Hero: Corrosion. You’re a sort of last-resort hero, and you don’t like being in the limelight. Your quirk is dangerous if not handled correctly, so you work on a team with another hero who has a counter-effective quirk to yours (essentially Hyper Growth!). A lot of civillians are scared of you, but that’s okay. You know that what you do is important, and that your ranking doesn’t matter so long as you’re saving lives.

You are a little bitter, though, that your partner is several ranks ahead of you.

[naruto--imagines]

Sasuke x Reader [Baby Project]

[A/N] I do not own any of the characters present in this story, nor do I own the GIF that is featured. I do hold ownership over the story itself, please do not re-post it anywhere. Thanks! <3

Just like a majority of the students in your school you had a crush on Sasuke Uchiha. Yours had started when you were in grade school. One day while at recess a group of boys started to pick on you. They shoved you to the ground and called you all sorts of mean names. They were ruthless and even when tears started to pour down your face they didn’t stop. Not until someone else intervened. Sasuke showed up and with some harsh words sent the other kids off in the other direction.

“Are you okay?” He asked holding his hand out to you.

“Yeah, I’m okay.” You responded as he helped pull you to your feet.

“Good. See you around.” He said before running off to his friends.

That’s where it all started. That one moment of kindness.

Your crush followed you all the way through grade school and middle school. Up until present day, your third year of highschool. Despite the many years you spent in Konoha, you had yet to talk to Sasuke since that fateful day. Other girls had no issue with professing their love for the Uchiha, but you weren’t as confident as they were. The boys from grade school left deep scars, and the hidden wounds only deepened later on. The bullies stopped by your seventh year, but the damage was done. And it had caused lasting effects into your teenage years.

Currently, midterms were coming up in three weeks. You were sitting in health class, the topic until midterms passed was Sex Ed. Kurenai sensei had done a great job to explore all avenues of the subject. Abstinence, birth control, STD, etcetera. Last week she showed you the birthing video and promptly scared all of the kids in your class.

“Alright class, today we are going to begin your midterm project.” As she said this a technician with a ‘RealityWorks’ shirt walked in wheeling in a dozen RealCare Babies. “Each pair of you will receive a baby and it will be your job to take care of it for the week. Today you will be partnered up by me, assigned your infant and supplies, name your babies and get your bracelets. These bracelets collect information from your baby 24 hours a day. It will react like a real baby, cry when it is hungry, when it soils itself, and when it needs soothing. It will also record if you shake, drop, or don’t support the baby’s head in anyway. You will have to pass your bracelet over the censor in the chest to learn what is wrong, this will be further explained in the instruction booklet I’m handing out.” She said as she began handing out the booklets.

After she passed them out she then grabbed a bucket from her desk and shook up the contents with in. “Since we don’t have an even number of boys and girls, I will draw names from the bucket and that will be your partner.” Kurenai explained.

She began drawing names, and with each pair she drew you grew more on edge with who you’d be partnered with. Finally she called out your name. Then immediatly after she called out Sasuke’s name. You sat stiff in your seat, not moving until Kurenai told you to get with your partners.

In all honesty, you were nervous to be partnered with Sasuke. Sure your crush originated from his kind actions when you were younger. But over the years he became more reserved, and slightly cold. Even you had to admit you noticed the change.

Eventually the two of you pushed your desks together and read through your instruction manuals. Once you read through the booklet completely each pair was called up to obtain their artificial baby. After picking up you baby and supplies everyone received the bracelet to operate the animatronic. Then you were told choose a name for your babies (Kurenai told each of you to refer to them as babies to make the experience more real).

“So, any idea?” You question tentatively.

“Hn, not really.” He replied with a bored look on his face.

“What if we used a random name generator?”

“Fine with me.” Sasuke replied. With that you took to the internet, and that is how you got the name Yuki.

“Okay, now that everything is settled, I will activate your babies and your project will begin.” Kurenai said before simultaneously through the room babies started to cry. You quickly took action soothing your baby faster than your fellow classmates. Once your baby had been calmed you decided that you and Sasuke needed to figure out a schedule.

“Well, how about for the rest of the day we switch off at every class, and we could meet up after school at the coffee shop down the street and discuss some more then.” You suggested.

“Sure” He replied. “I’ll take him for the next class.” Sasuke said as the bell rang dismissing your class. Sasuke reached down and grabbed the baby carrier holding Yuki and the mock diaper bag with the supplies before he left for his next class. The day went on and soon enough the two of you were walking to the coffee shop with Sasuke carrying Yuki between the two of you. As the two of you sat there you had your fair share of “looks” from other patrons, until they realized that it was a fake baby. (The scanning of the bracelets and lack of movement eventually gave it away)

“How about during school, I’ll watch him for the first half of the day, and we can switch after the lunch break.” You proposed.

“And for after school?” Sasuke questioned taking a sip from his drink.

“Since you have prep-school, I can take him for that time. And then we can alter nights.” You replied.

“Sounds good to me,” Sasuke said “I have to get going.” He replied standing up.

“Sure, I’ll take him tonight, and I will see you tomorrow.” You said with a shy smile.

“Yeah, see you later.” Sasuke replied leaving.

“Okay, Yuki, let’s get you home.” You said leaving the coffee shop.

The night went smoothly, you easily slipped into the role of caretaker while getting your homework and chores done. Nightfall provided a bit more of a challenge. You were able to put the baby down easily and ended up falling asleep soon after. Then it began, every hour and a half Yuki started screaming. The first time he needed a bottle, then a diaper change, finally it was 3 in the morning and Yuki simply wanted to be held. For an hour. You put him back in his carrier and fell asleep. And shortly after you had to wake up to go to school.

You showed up with yuki in his carrier and easily breezed through the first half of the day. At lunch you meet up with Sasuke to eat lunch. Then afterwards you handed over the baby items and Yuki to Sasuke as he went to his next class. Before long it was the end of the day and you were meeting up with Sasuke again.

He quickly handed you the baby carrier with an irritated expression on his face.

“Everything okay?” You ask receiving the carrier from the teen.

“No, he wouldn’t stop screaming through my last class.” He explained adjusting his bag. “I’ve gotta go, I’ll text you after class to pick him up.” Sasuke said walking away.  

“Okay see you later.” You said walking off with Yuki to find a bench to sit on and wait for Sasuke.

During the time you sat there Yuki had only fussed to be held, which was easy enough to do while reading for class. You were lucky to have practice with infants. Your sister was several years older than you. Three years ago her and her husband gave you a niece. Since the two of them worked they frequently requested your assistance with baby sitting little Ami. Including over nights, which gave you plenty of experience for your current project.

Soon enough Sasuke was finished with his prep-school classes and you were meeting up with him. You handed over Yuki and the diaper bag before saying goodbye and going your separate ways.

The next morning you meet up with Sasuke before class and immediately noticed the bags under his eyes.

“Rough night?” You questioned.

“Yuki woke up every forty-five minutes.” Sasuke said with contempt, practically throwing the baby carrier at you.

“Yeah, he did the same to me the other night.” You replied gently rocking the carrier in your hand.

“How were you able to function yesterday?” He asked in genuine curiosity.

“Well, I helped my sister with raising my niece while her husband was away on business trips. Sometimes I watched Ami for the whole night so it was good practice for this project i suppose. But mostly we took turns during the night waking up to see to Ami’s needs.” You explained to the boy in front of you. You looked up to Sasuke and caught him staring at you rocking the carrier. “UH, but that was probably too much information. My bad” You said glancing away from him with a blush on your face.

“That’s a good idea.” Sasuke stated

“Huuh?”

“After prep class tonight I’ll take you to my place. We have a guest bedroom you could use, that way we can watch Yuki together.” He explained.

“Oh. Uh, sure! I think that’s a good idea. Let me message my mom and make sure it’s okay with  her. I’ll let you know at lunch.” You told him.

“Yeah, see you later.” Sasuke said handing you the diaper bag and walking to class. You quickly shot your mom a text asking to stay with the Uchiha’s for the next two nights for the project before walking to your first class of the day.

By  lunchtime your mom had said that she didn’t have a problem with it, only requesting to talk with Mrs.Uchiha before you went over. You relayed the message to Sasuke when you saw him. He gave you his mother’s cell phone number so you could get it you your mom. After that, the two of you went on with your normal routine until school was over.

With Yuki in hand you walked to your house to pack a bag for the next few days. Bag and baby in hand you said ‘bye’ to your mom and walked back to the school to meet up with Sasuke again. The two of you made your way to his house where you meet the rest of his family before Mikoto shows you to the guest room you’ll be staying in.

Once you were settled in it was time for dinner. You hand a nice time conversing with the Uchiha family (not to mention the excellent food) before you and Sasuke went up to his room with Yuki to do your homework.

Sasuke’s room was pretty average. The walls were a light grey with a few posters scattered around. His bed had a blue blanket on top of it and his desk was on the adjacent wall with his closet straight across on the opposite wall.  Finally a kotatsu sat in the middle of the room without the futon. That’s where the two of you sat doing your homework with Yuki sitting in between you.

Soon enough you two had finished your homework and were getting ready for bed. You volunteered to keep Yuki in your room for the night since your room was across the hall from Sasuke’s you left your doors open so both of you had easy access. Each of you decided on taking turns when Yuki woke up, you taking the first wake up.

Everything through the night went fine. Yuki woke up almost every hour, but you came to expect that. Sasuke and you took your turns until the morning. The two of you woke up and got ready for school. After breakfast the two of you walked to school together and continued on with your normal routines. Then after school the day repeated with the two of you walking to Sasuke’s place, eating dinner, doing your homework, and going to sleep. Both of you ready for the project to be over tomorrow.

Friday morning around 6am Yuki woke up again. You got out of your bed and sat on the floor next to the carrier. To your surprise Sasuke came in and sat next to you.

“You didn’t have to get up. I’ve got it.” you told Sasuke.

“Yeah. I was up already.” He replied. The two of you sat in silence for a little while. “You’ve really saved me with this project.” Sasuke said, his voice drawing your attention up from Yuki so your eyes catch yours. “I’m glad I got paired with someone who knows what they’re doing.” He said, you accepted the sort of backhanded compliment. Especially since Sasuke doesn’t hand out compliments very frequently.

“You’re welcome. Glad I could be useful.” You responded falling back into silence.

The two of you stayed sitting like that for quite some time. Even after Yuki fell asleep and you placed him back into his carrier. In fact, you two sat on the floor until the sun started to peak through the window and it was time to start getting ready for school. You both moved to get up from the floor to start your morning routine when Sasuke spoke up again.

“If you’re free tomorrow,” He started hesitantly, an unusual characteristic for the Uchiha, “would you wanna get something to eat?” Sasuke finished, slightly turning fromm you attempting to hide the blush on his face.

“Ah, sure. I’d like that.” You responded with a smile on your face. After that the two of you got ready for class.

Today was the final day of the project. In class you returned the babies, everyone excited to be done with the animatronics. You were also excited, not necessarily to be done with the project (you thought you had done really well on it), but because you had the chance to get to know Sasuke better. An because of your date tomorrow.

[demonwriterx]

Jurassic World: Battle at Big Rock review (spoilers....duh) and discussion

(You see that Jurassic Park Logo? Thats awesome)

The Jurassic Park movies had always been my favorite franchise. Jurassic Park is my number one favorite movie ever since I was child. I watch Jurassic Park every night before I go to bed, that’s how much I love the movie. When Jurassic world came out, I was excited and after I watched it, my love for seeing the dinosaurs on screen sky rocketed. Sure the Jurassic World movies are....okay. (Not my favorite, but I won’t get into that) But I am always excited to see the animatronics and more importantly the dinosaurs. So, I was surprised when this short film dropped on YouTube and I was impressed by the sheer quality of this mini sequel of Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom. 

Let’s take a look at the story of Jurassic World: Battle at Big Rock. There is a family, who decided to go camping in the woods and during this camping trip they are met with a family of Tricerotops and a very hungry Allosaurous. Its a very simple story and since the movie was only 8 minutes long, that’s all they needed. This short film is based after the events of Jurassic World 2, where the dinosaurs escaped inland. 

When the film begins we are introduced by a news/radio broadcast where they mentioned that a baby triceratops was born on US soil. The first of its kind. This is important because it shows that the dinosaurs are breeding and that might prove problematic in the next film. The same set of broadcast they mention the main character (the family) and their encounter with the Allosaurous, just before we see the actual events. 

It is also mentioned (by the daughter) that the reason why the Triceratops were at their campsite was because they are migrating. I suspect that they are migrating to warmer climates, it might be a set up for the 3rd Jurassic World film where the dinosaurs might be heading towards Arizona, New Mexico and Mexico to escape from the cold. It also seems that Humans adapting to the dinosaurs are put into effect. The wife mentioned that the park ranger told them beforehand that if they see any dinosaurs is to remain indoors and let them pass. The wife also added that something happened up “North”, which involved  carnivores. What happened? Who knows. 

(Aww its so cute! playing with the flashlight, I hope nothing bad happens to it)

The family’s dinner gets interrupted when a mama and her baby wanders into the campsite. The scene is set when everything goes quiet, once there was chatter but now, hushed whispers. No one wants to risk getting gored or eaten by a dinosaur, so everyone stays their distances and turns off the lights. Suddenly the cute scene is interrupted by a threat, a very hungry, adult Allosaurous. The best bits I loved was the bellowing call of the triceratops, almost like a warning call when it saw the predator and like a murderer coming out of the woods, the Allosaurous appears from the fog. 

Now this quiet campsite is about to be shaken up and thrown down by two behemoths. The family is now in full panic mode because a carnivore just entered the ring. And like any predator, it goes after the youngest and weakest, the baby tricerotops. 

(Its alright, they won’t kill a baby)

The allosaurus grabs the baby and shakes it around. The family is freaking out, I’m freaking out because I didn’t want the baby trike to die but it manages to get away. The mother and Allosaurous face off and begin fighting eachother. The mother trike is losing and just before it seems out, the father trike runs in and defends the mother and its baby. The allosaurus, now outnumbered, decides to back off while the Tricerotops family walks away. And when everyone can breath a sigh of relief, the human baby decides to cry. 

Jurassic Park 2 starts to kick in as the Allosaurous flips their RV, knocking them around inside and destroying the camper. The family fights back, and the little girl manages to find the neighbor’s crossbow, fire into the allosaurus and making it retreat back into the woods to lick its wounds. 

The family is safe, their RV is destroyed and the dinosaurs are still roaming the earth. At the end credits, there are found footage of humans meeting with dinosaurs. A car narrowly dodges a stegasourous, a group of compys chases a little girl, and my personal favorite, the mosasaurus eating a great white. 

And thats where the short film ends. 

This film was really good! The allosaurus was actually an animatronic, you can tell when its attacking the RV. I really enjoyed that part. The way they sound, the way they move and the way they interact in the human environment. I really wished that this was a 30 minute special or even twenty minutes. I wanted more of it! There is a lot of foreshadowing in the film, little hints that set up the third film. If I would rate it, it will be. 

1. Jurassic Park 

2. Jurassic Park 2

3. Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom

4. Battle at Big Rock

5. Jurassic World

6. Jurassic World 3

If I would give it a score, it will be a solid 8/10. I thought the human actors were alright, the dinosaurs were really awesome, the found footage was really great and I would like to see more of that in the final film of Jurassic World. I recommend everyone to go see it, and the link is right below. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C7kbVvpOGdQ&t=326s

[blookmallow]

rating spirit halloween clowns again

speaking of spirit halloween,

i previously rated a bunch of spirit halloween clown costumes and now that its halloween times again im back at it again with animatronic clowns this time. they have a very nice pennywise as well but im only rating original clowns here  

clowning around

a pretty good boy, i like his face and his spooky eyes, i always love a good monochrome clown but hes got this goofy country bumpkin accent im not really vibing with. he is VERY tall so i imagine he’s probably scarier in person though i have not had an opportunity to meet him. the screaming children are a unique touch but they kinda just look like floppy baby dolls if you look at them too closely. not a fan of anything that would cause whatever spooky attraction you’re making to have constant child screaming sounds playing, either, but, hes still a pretty good clown. hes also the only clown in this old timey monochrome style im seeing here so he gets props for that. 7/10

rotten ringmaster

i dont think clowns are usually ringmasters but points for creativity but then points lost again bc his face just looks so. generically creepy. he just looks boring to me. like hes trying to be pennywise but didn’t quite make it. this child victim looks slightly better than before but also has very very fake little cloth legs and mr ringmaster looks really weirdly proportioned from any other angle and not in a spooky way just in a Weird Bendy Way. 5/10, i dont really know why im so uninterested in this guy 

cuddles the clown

look at this fucked up weirdo what am i even LOOKING at here. he looks like a clown made of nightmares and snakes. his fingers are just more clowns. i desperately want to see this thing in person i cannot get OVER this guy i cannot imagine this thing existing in physical space even with the video 10/10

mr salty

he acts like he’s flashing you only to reveal a very... particularly placed shorter clown. the little one’s name is willy. i do not like it at all 1/10 this gets one point for the fact that i like “surprise it’s TWO clowns” if this wasn’t designed Like That 

i also can’t tell if they’re like, sharing the same pair of shoes or if they’re bizarre conjoined twin clowns or what the fuck is going on 

fright in the box

I SAW THIS BOX EARLIER I DIDN’T KNOW THERE WAS A CLOWN IN IT i cant wait to go back and meet him. im not a big fan of jumpscare animatronics, though they are effective. i like that this guy doesnt seem to have any kind of body. he just looks like a spooky napkin. big beetlejuice vibes here i like him 7/10

tug-of-war

TWO OF THEM!!! 

these guys are playfully fighting over a screaming child like brothers fighting over a teddy bear. the fact that they don’t move very fast or very violently makes it seem less threatening and more like they just want to play but are very bad at it which is endearing to me for some reason. i want to hang out with them. mostly im just trying to figure out what the fuck is happening with the right guy’s face though 

what is going ON here. this might be among one of the weirdest clowns i have ever seen but hes so different and visually interesting i legitimately really like him. getting some strong jigsaw vibes from the other guy, i like him as well. i like his cute overalls. big fan of these guys. 10/10

waving wally

what a nice young man he doesnt jump out to scare you or threaten you hes just wavin. hi wally. he seems friendly i would hang out with him too. i like this one bc he has mostly pretty normal features/body proportions so he looks more believably like a regular guy instead of a Monster Clown Creature which i personally like a lot more. i like his empty void eyes a lot. not sure about the light up nose though. kind of a rudolph look going on there. i like his little hat. i dunno theres something very pleasant about wally hes simple and visually pleasing and he is my friend 10/10

crouchy 

crouchy is such an unpleasant name and i feel like they coulda done better than just naming him after the position hes in but whatever. this guy’s a pretty generic monster clown, there’s not a lot of creativity going on here but if you want a nice monster clown for whatever occasion you need a monster clown for, he’s pretty good. he is VERY tall. the effect is pretty imposing in person, i met him last year. he doesn’t talk he just laughs. here to have a good time. 7/10

uncle charlie 

look at this guy!!! i like him. i like his very spooky face combined with the big silly flower/etc. theres a nice jarring contrast there. kinda has almost the exact same head as crouchy though. he doesn’t jumpscare you either from what i can tell he just hangs out and looks ominous. hes my friend i like him 8/10

towering creepy clown

the description says his name is grimsli. i thought his neck ruffle was a bib at first. pretty generic but i like his noodly legs. 6/10 i feel like he may have been on display here last year too he looks familiar 

peek-a-boo clown

he’s a clown, he’s spooky, he plays peekaboo. pretty straight forward. his movement is pretty smooth actually though. his outfit is hideous even by clown standards, but to the point i think it actually works for him somehow. his face looks more like a weird zombie than a clown to me but he DOES have rainbow swirly eyes so BIG props for that. 7/10

clown ferris wheel

LOOK AT THEM THEY’RE SO CUTE i love the ones with the empty soulless eyes. the fact that this doesn’t have any dialogue recorded or anything and the clowns just silently stare and spin around and around with a slightly off kilter circus tune looping makes it equally unsettling and hilarious. i legitimately want this thing. if i was rich and owned a house i would have this thing in my living room all year long and everyone who knows me would absolutely hate it. 10/10

also it doesnt look like they’re selling hugz the clown on their site right now which saddens me i hope he hasnt been discontinued :( i met him last year hes good and i like him as well

[whatarubberchicken]

The Bodyguard’s Tale -Chapter 3

<<Previous - Ao3 or ff.net - Next>>

Chapter 3

Lance’s next excursion wasn’t any better; he somehow got it into his head that he wanted to try hunting ducat. Whatever that was. Apparently, some guy named Coran told him all about them and where to find them. However, after a full day of tromping through the Altean jungle, he and Keith didn’t find anything. And when a tired, muddy, bedraggled Keith asked Shiro about it later, the man had laughed and suggested snipe hunting instead.

He was fairly certain they were being played. So was Lance.

In retaliation, Lance convinced him to help with a little prank. Somehow, the Altean prince had gotten ahold of a couple-dozen half-feral klanmüirls. Keith, openly shaking his head and secretly snickering for the sheer brilliance of it, had the task of putting a collar on each one that clearly stated that the beast was one of 25. There were only 24 klanmüirls. Then they set them loose in the Grand Hall, just before the High Council was called into session.

Keith had never seen such mayhem.

It was glorious.

Uptight lords ran around, panicking, yelling, and trying to catch the stray animals; women were screaming shrilly as several beasts mistook their shiny jewelry for a snack—Lotor had a huge one chasing him that was sure his hair was something edible—even Shiro’s calmer efforts to corral them was hilarious in its own way.

Keith and Lance were literally unable to stand, they were laughing so hard.

Unfortunately, their fun came to an end when Allura caught them hiding behind some draperies. Keith thought for sure they were doomed, but in exchange for her silence, the princess decided to have a bit of her own fun instead.

The next day, Lance and Keith looked at each other miserably as they were forced to try on dress after dress for the princess’s amusement. (She did not, as a small mercy, make them leave her quarters in the dresses, which Keith was eternally grateful for.)

“Does this one make my butt look big?” Lance asked, looking in the mirror while his sister was off trying to find accessories for them. The apparent reasoning behind this whole fiasco was that she wanted to see how different outfits looked side-by-side.

Why she couldn’t use her own ladies….

“I don’t think you have the hips for it,” a voice by the door laughed before Keith could reply. They both whirled around to see Shiro standing there, snickering. “Or the chest!”

“What are you doing here?!” Keith hissed, attempting to cover himself with another dress. Embarrassing himself in front of his best friend was not in the job description!

“Ah, Shiro! You have those documents I needed signed?” Allura said, handing her brother some jewelry as she crossed the room to the ambassador. Keith narrowed his eyes at her. So, she’d arranged this, the scheming little—

“Right here, princess,” Shiro said cheerfully, handing her some forms. “And I—uh, love your new models.”

Keith growled and Lance freed a hand long enough to give Shiro a rude hand gesture.

“Aww, did Lotor not come with you?” Allura pouted, looking behind the ambassador. Keith gaped at her in horror. His brother? Seeing him like this?! She was EVIL!!

“Unfortunately, Prince Lotor had some pressing business to take care of,” Shiro said, grimacing. Keith snorted. Undoubtedly, his brother simply hadn’t seen how a visit to see his betrothed would benefit him and had brushed off Allura’s invitation. “He swears he’ll make it up to you later.” Shiro glanced at the two boys again, and barely hid his laughter behind his hand.

“Of course, if he’d known what was waiting for him, I’m sure he’d have come,” he added, grinning at Keith.

“Don’t you dare tell him!” Keith hissed, trying to wiggle out of his dress to go threaten Shiro properly.

“And now, Princess, I have some pressing business of my own… That’s a good color on you, Keith!”

“Shiro! Get back here!!” Keith yelled, struggling harder. He ended up stumbling around and crashing into Lance, who yelped when they went down in a pile of limbs.

“Ow, mullet-head!”

“Shut up and get off me!”

“Excuse you! You’re the one on me!” Lance shouted.

“Move your leg!”

“Hey, watch the heel! Watch the heel!!”

“WHY are you wearing heels, Lance?” Keith asked, completely exasperated and still tangled up on the floor in what could be considered a very compromising position.

“Hey, if I’m gonna do this, I’m gonna do it right!” The Altean prince had the nerve to pose.

“Ugh, you idiot!”

“Oh yeah? I’m not the one who—OOF!” Lance groaned. Keith winced. He’d accidently kneed the other boy in the stomach.

“Sorry.”

“You Galra, always so violent!” Lance cried dramatically, throwing a hand over his eyes for effect. “Sister-dear, did you see how he brutalized me?!”

“My poor brother,” Allura gushed, joining in the drama effortlessly. “You must be traumatized! Facial masks for both of you!!”

Lance cheered. Keith suppressed his urge to bang his head on the floor. The royal siblings were two of a kind, and a royal pain in his—

“C’mon, Keith, let’s get you exfoliated!!”

Quiznak.

………..

The next few weeks were more of the same. Lance got into more bar fights (which Keith had to step in and defend him for, even if the prince had a pretty good right hook himself) and attempted to learn how to play some sort of wind instrument (Keith chucked it out the window after the third day and claimed it must be in Lance’s messy room somewhere. Win-win for him; Lance had to clean his room, finally, and Keith was no longer subjected to the sound of a dying cat).

The best times were when Lance decided to hang out with Allura, usually studying spellcasting or playing Monsters and Mana. (Keith decided to forgive her for the dress debacle, since those few hours were the most peace he had these days. Still, he swore Lance cheated at that game, there was no way anyone could roll that many Nat 20s.)

Lance also attempted to learn how to use a sword, which Keith had to help him with. The prince was surprisingly light on his feet, but he was no match for Keith’s strength, even if he was Altean. Still, he was stubborn, and those practice matches were very enjoyable for Keith. Especially the way Lance’s eyes would sparkle every time he learned a new move or managed to land a hit….

NOPE! Nope. That was just the adrenaline talking. Keith loved the adrenaline rush. That was all.

Finally, the king and queen deemed Lance worthy of representing Altea on another world. Keith was apprehensive until he found out the mission wasn’t going to take long; it was just a festival that the locals called Clear Day. Shiro even offered to accompany them and make sure Lance didn’t get into too much trouble.

Keith regretted it the moment they touched down. So many lights and noises and smells—

“It’s a carnival,” Shiro exclaimed softly, his eyes wide. “We used to have them on Earth all the time!”

“Really?” Keith asked, interested in learning more about that part of himself. And honestly, watching Shiro was easier on his eyes than all these flashing lights….

“Hey, where’d Lance go?” Shiro suddenly asked.

Keith spun around, looking for the prince who had just been at his side.

“QUIZNAK!”

They searched for nearly an hour before they found him at the shooting games, entertaining several females with his ability to get them some cheap little stuffed animals.

“Lance!” Keith roared. “You know you’re not supposed to go off on your own!!”

Lance took one look at the rage on his face and, to Keith’s astonishment, he ran. What the quiznak?! Where did he think—?

“Get back here!” he yelled after the wayward prince, only vaguely aware of Shiro laughing behind him as he chased the other boy. Shiro could laugh, but it was going to be Keith’s ass if something happened to the prince!

Lance was darting left and right, trying to lose him in the crowd, but Keith was quicker. He tackled Lance right into a line of people. Keith pulled them both to their feet, and was about to start laying into the Altean when—

“Fine, fine, you can go first,” a bored, nasally voice said. The next thing they knew, they had been strapped into a ride and told to have a “blissfully burrowful time.”

All Keith could do was glare at Lance, which intensified when the animatronics all around them began to sing. Lance looked interested (for all of two tiks) and then he chanced a glance at his bodyguard.

“Just remember, if you kill me, you fail your mission,” he sang, grinning sheepishly.

“I remind myself that every day.”

The ride broke, right when they were in the middle of it. Keith groaned in despair and buried his face in his hands.

It took him less than five minutes to get fed up with the idiotic song and slash his way to freedom, dragging a laughing Lance behind him. The prince promised to pay for damages to the irate carny, but also pointed out that the ride had already been broken. Then Keith chimed in about how it could’ve been a trap to harm Lance’s royal person, blah-de-blah, and the worker quickly let them go with hasty apology for their troubles.

They were never coming back to Clear Day. Keith would beg Lance’s other bodyguards on his knees if he had to.

Now, they couldn’t find Shiro.

Some of the locals said something about a human being in the arm-wrestling tournament, but to get there, they had to pass the shooting games again. And of course, Lance wheedled and whined until Keith finally gave in and stopped to let him play for awhile.

It wasn’t like he was actually going to win anything… those things were totally rigged.

So, when Lance presented him with a stuffed red lion, Keith took it out of sheer disbelief—and ignored his flaming cheeks.

It was just to say sorry for that whole ride debacle. It’s not like it meant anything. Besides, they were both quickly distracted by the fact that Shiro was now the center of a cheering crowd of fans.

[iamalivenow]

Jon watches Daisy and Melanie haul the nice couch from the nice break room all the way to the elevator and he also watches the rest of the people who work in this building try to restrain themselves from yelling at the weirdos from the Archives. “Are you coming or not?” Melanie sounds bored which means she's already done with this entire idea. Jon gets into the elevator. It's a tight fit and the lights are dim and Daisy stands too close to possibly be comfortable but he doesn't mind. He's gotten used to her shadowing him like this. Feels safer for it even. Hauling the couch out takes even more time then hauling it in did, and then dragging it into the spare office is a trial with how small the door is. “Right, I'm done. Have fun with your awful idea.” Melanie dusts her hands on her jeans and stares at the two of them. “I'll tell Helen you're being stupid again.” “I'm sure she'll be thrilled.” Melanie snorts and leaves just as Basira arrives with a plastic bag filled with loose disks. “I think this is an awful idea.” Is the first thing she says. “Do you know they're keeping my key card until I bring those back?” Is the second.

“Sure is a good thing you don't have to go anywhere.” Daisy pats the spot next to her on the couch and stares at the projector Jon hooked up to his laptop. “Are we doing this or what?” This, being a marathon of the Lagorio director cuts. Because they're out of ideas and Annabelle- probably Annabelle- has started infesting the institute just as badly as Prentiss did. They're on every inch of the walls outside, and slipping in through the windows so much easier. There aren't any in the tunnels yet, and not that many managed to sneak into the basement, but- Everyone else will crush them for him, and he doesn't have to touch them, and he doesn't mind. He fiddles with the disk drive, a temperamental thing he borrowed from Georgie ages ago and when he finally remembered to return it she had gotten a new one and let him keep it for five quid. He grabs a loose disk from the bag, huffing warm air on it and cleaning it on his shirt before putting it in and sitting to Daisy's right. It's Dead Sky, the credits tell them. Jon hates it instantly.

Dead Sky Real snore fest. Couldn't even begin to be scared. All of the gore would look great if you could see any of it. Ever heard of lighting balance? And you can totally see the suspension harnesses. Stop wasting so much money on practical effects if you can't even afford a green screen. 2 Stars. Hey, want to hear a joke? Why can't spiders become pilots? Because they only know how to tailspin.  – LonelyEyes

The phantom touch of vertigo only leaves him when the credits roll, the tightness in his chest finally abating when he turns his head to see how his two tagalongs are doing. “You're breathing kind of hard there, you alright?” Jon nods, rubbing his face awake. “Not going to be weird, right?” “I don't know. Where's Basira?” “She said she was going to steal popcorn from the upstairs break room.” Daisy looks bored. Really not a movie person then. Or just not a good movie. She stretches, one arm vaguely behind Jon's head before she settles comfortably. “I thought it was going to be worse, honestly. Wasn't this one of his fucked up one?” “It was-” He pats his chest as if that's supposed to translate what he means but Daisy takes a slow nod anyway. “Maybe it didn't grab me because I killed one of them.” “Maybe.” Basira comes back with popcorn while Jon tries to figure out the next disk to put in.

Beyond Time God, could you make something more reductive if you tried? Honestly, the second anyone thinks they can do time travel right is a joke. Black holes don't work like that, obviously. At least someone learned how to light a scene correctly, but man the make up? Come on people. Cult classic? Hey, since you people like jokes so much, got another one for you. What does a spider do when he gets angry? He goes up the wall! 2.5 Stars –LonelyEyes

Jon breathes a sigh of relief when its over. This one really wasn't as bad- at least not to him. Daisy holds Basira's hand and whispers something Jon chooses not to hear. While he fumbles with the next disk, Daisy passes him the bowl of popcorn to hold while she takes both of Basira's hands. “Are you alright?” Daisy nudges his foot with hers, which means shut up, which he does, staring back at the wall. “I'm fine, Jon. Put the next one on.” Daisy's hands don't move from Basira's. He wipes the disk twice, just to make sure none of the sugar got on it and caused the film to look even worse.

The Crawling Ones This one almost won me over. Almost. The romance was so by the numbers though, and it took up way to much of the runtime. My coworker doesn't think the romance between the monster roaches and the lead actor was even obvious, so really, what else can be said. Ugh. 1.6 stars. Oh, I got a joke for you, ready? Did you hear about the spider love triangle? It was a tangled web. – LonelyEyes

Basira excuses herself to vomit, which Jon thinks is fair, and if he never sees another bug of any kind it will be to soon. “You look green Jon.” “Yes well. Bit over insects.” He says. Daisy nods, somewhat lazy in her understanding but she takes Jon's hand and rolls his sleeve up to stare at the worm scars. He tries his best not to feel examined, tries his best not to squirm before she slowly rolls his sleeve back down, doing the buttons he didn't bother with earlier. Her nails clack against them and it's oddly loud in the otherwise quiet room. “If you get really scared you can hold my hand.” It doesn't sound placating, which is nice. They try not to sound placating around each other. “Is Basira okay?” He asks because the thought of holding hands makes his palms sweat almost instantly. “She- She's fine. She'll be fine. She's strong.” “Right.” You are too, he wants to say, but the door to the office opens and Basira sits down on the couch and stares straight ahead. Okay, not going to talk about it then, that's fine.

Jewel of the Amazon Eh. Can't muster more then Eh. Not a good sign, traditionally. Eh. 0 Stars. Here's something though, What does a spider do when he gets angry? He goes up the wall! – LonelyEyes

The scar Melanie gave him aches miserably. “Jon?” He lets go of Daisy's hand, practically drops it like its hot coal. She shakes it out, like he gripped too hard, and he must have. He tries to move to the right, give Daisy some space before she tugs him back, closer then before. “Holding up?” He chances a glance at Basira- who's managed to fall asleep half way through it. “Leg hurts.” It's all situational, he supposed. And these films are three to four hours long. He has no idea how anyone would ever want to watch this. How this man sold any of this garbage. “Poor you. Here.” She pats her shoulder and Jon stares at her. “I'm not going to snap your head off, come on.”

Agents of Orion Definitely the only good movie this hack ever made, I can really feel the horror. My coworker thinks its a little on the nose, but there's nothing wrong with that sometimes. If it's tasteful. But then you can't go wrong with the isolation of space! Who wouldn't think that was scary! The maze section was absolute garbage though. Amateur writing 101 much? 4 stars. What do you call an under cover spider? A spy-der ! - LonelyEyes

He does end up with his face in her neck. It's embarrassing now, while she holds the back of his neck like he's a infant, but during the film he appreciated it. He really appreciated it. Her nails dig into the skin and it's nice, it's grounding, and even if it hurts it's the kind of pain he's used to, somehow. For half a second he thinks she's going to start rocking him back and forth but she lets him go as Basira gets up from the couch. “I'm going to bed.” Jon pulls away, blinks until he can see straight and looks at the time. They really did waste all day doing this. “Pick this up again tomorrow?” “Yes- Yes.” He says. His face feels warm. Well, he was just cradled by her girlfriend. He supposed it made sense that at least one of them was embarrassed about it. “Tomorrow morning.” “Sounds good. Daisy?” “I'm going to make sure he's okay. I”ll find you in a few.” Basira just shrugs and heads towards the tunnels. “I'm fine.” He insists. “Well, yeah. It's not like you could have nightmares about this.” “Oh- yes.” He laughs. “Sorry for then uh-” “I told you it was fine.” “Just-” Jon swallows. “Thank you- for-” “I got it.” “Alright.” “Good night Jon.”

Forty Winks Abysmal in every way, -5 stars, couldn't stand it.  I got another joke, though, ready? What do you get when you cross spiders and corn? Cobwebs. - LonelyEyes

Helen and Melanie join them in the morning, just for the sake of solidarity, they tell him. It's relatively tame- well- the gore is everywhere and the animatronics move like they're alive- but Jon's gotten over his Spiral fear ages ago, especially with Helen sitting next to him. The only real horrific part of that viewing experience was Melanie in Helen's lap, both of them apparently trying to swallow each others tongues the entire time. He honestly wasn't even aware Helen had a tongue until he watched it lick Melanie's lips for five minutes straight. Basira's asleep again too, rough night apparently, head in Daisy's lap. And he's between them alone, fumbling with the cheap disk drive.

Nightmare Children This one is....almost good. The monsters feel cheap though. The people I watched this one with were to distracted having sex to actually react to the movie, so it's at least that bad. 2.5 stars. Maybe my joke could distract them from each other? I felt so guilty after I stepped on a spider this morning. You should of seen him, he looked genuinely crushed. – LonelyEyes

Jon has to hold Daisy's hand again. The way the dolls move is- is just too close to- Helen and Melanie unceremoniously excused themselves half way through, clearly more entertained with each other then with a cheap evil doll movie. Basira left too, also half way through. She had an appointment she forgot about, apparently. “How many more of this do we have left?” “Just three, I think.” Daisy reaches over and picks up the three disks, holding them out for him like a fan of cards. “Homestretch.” Jon smiles and picks the middle one, cleaning the finger prints off on his shirt. “This entire thing feels kind of- I don't know. A waste of time?” Daisy shrugs. “Maybe after this you could show me a good movie.” Jon puts in the disk and tries not to swell on far reaching implications.

Toy Shop Another trite romance, can this guy do anything else? And this is the second evil doll movie? He should try and work with mannequins. Those could actually scare people. 1.5 stars. My coworker wanted to write a joke but I don't really get it. He's a good kid though. What part of a computer does a spider use? The webcam. – LonelyEyes

They both get up and walk around, mostly out of boredom. The last one really was- Bad. He can say bad. Boring, even. Daisy stares at him while he smokes. “Just two more.” He says. It's really become a slog. But then the more something goes on for the more it's a given that it'll turn dull and derivative. “I don't know if I should hope for a exciting ending or not. Either it's a good film, which means it's scary or its another eight hours of wasting time.” “This was your idea.” “Isn't it time people stop letting me have those?” Daisy laughs.

Under New York Tight spaces? That's it? A few collapsed tunnels, a few abandoned subways? A lake? I was ready to get upset about how this movie was treating its monster (mole people by the way, like it's the fifties) but then you realize it's trying to be clever with a “man was always the real monster” and oh, just throw the entire production away. Couldn't think of something more dull if I tried. -2 stars. What do you call two young married spiders? Newly webs!  Well. They can't all be great. – LonelyEyes

When they try and stop the movie, the laptop freezes and keeps going. The door is, at this point in their lives, unsurprisingly locked. They can't even get the sound off. Watching Daisy have an attack is nightmarish. She doesn't get violent- he doesn't know why he thought he would, but she goes completely still, and he could see the tension in ever single muscle. Her eyes go dull, she looks anywhere but the wall it's projected on. “Daisy- Daisy listen to me-” He has to yell over the volume. “Daisy you're not there!” He tries to push her off of the couch but she's a solid rock of muscle that Jon couldn't really push around regularly. So of course, he does the one thing that comes to mind which he is sure is nothing short of an unspeakably good idea, and punches Daisy in the face. She's not frozen anymore, good, but she's staring at Jon like he's a meal, bad. He does try to at least get to the other side of the couch before Daisy lunges after him. They're both on the ground, and in Jon's desperate attempt to get away the project gets turned over and displays some poor man crawling through a tunnel on the ceiling. She grabs his hair and pulls and the pain shoots right down his spine, almost blinding. It barely compares to when she slams his head down on the floor. His nose bleeds onto their clothes, and just as shes about to do it again, he kicks out and yells her name. Any realization, any kind of flash of reality before she bashes his skull it would be great really. “Make it stop!” It's a howl more then a yell, loud and dangerous. “Make the crushing stop!” “I'm-” Trying, is what he was going to say, before Daisy decks him across the face, and more of that searing hot pain makes him feel like his face is on fire. He kicks at the her- at the desk- at anything he can before she swings again, harder, connects with his jaw. It's hard enough that it splits her knuckles open. Somewhere between the kicking and the begging and the collective screaming, the laptop falls off of the desk behind the couch, and the projector displays it's bright blue no input found screen and Jon lets himself fall back on the cool floor. “Fuck.” Her hair is a mess around her face, blood on her cheeks, probably his, breathing hard. “Jon-” He can practically see the way she comes back to herself- her pupils dilate for a moment before she settles- getting off of him. “Jon-” Like she hasn't even noticed. “I'm fine.” He's not- they can both tell instantly when the words come out with a wheeze. He can't feel any inch of his face. “Just need some ice. That's all.” “I'm-” “I'm okay. Really. This will fix itself in an hour at most.” She doesn't say anything after that, but heads upstairs – door's unlocked, who would have thought – and comes back with an ice pack. “Let me look.” Before he has a chance to argue she's holding his face, twisting it every way. “I'll be fine, Daisy.” He insists, even if it hurts to move his jaw right now. “Your hands.” She seems almost surprised to find blood there. “Well.” She sits him up and presses the icepack to his chin. “You weren't lying about getting stronger.” Jon laughs or tries to. Still hurts to much to actually commit. “One more movie?” “This sounds like an exceptionally bad idea.” “Can't be worse then the last one.”  

Widow's Weave Trite, really, but even a cold hard critic like me has to admit. The spider looked great. 4.0 stars. Why are spiders like tops? They are always spinning! – LonelyEyes

He feels his face knit itself back together just as he realizes what he's about to see on screen. Daisy holds his hand with her battered knuckles before Jon has to turn away. All he can see is Mr. Spider behind a random door, leering and waiting, curling his arms invitingly. “Don't you know good boys come when they're called?” Someone says in the movie, and Jon almost bolts out of the room. Well, he would have. If the door wasn't locked again. “Jon, come here.” He does, because he knows her voice- because he can trust her voice- He stops a few steps from the couch. Can he? She grabs his hand anyway and pulls him on top of her, face into the crook of her neck. “It's not real.” “That's never stopped it before.” He whispers. “Don't focus on it. Focus on me. On my voice. That's good for you right? Voices?” He doesn't know what's good for him. Until she tells him about Calvin. He's heard this before, of course, but that was Elias doing his- their trick- and now it's Daisy, by choice,  voice low in his ear and a hand on his back. He feels ready to run a marathon once she's done, filled with energy he hasn't had in a while. In a long while. But she doesn't let him go regardless, because the film keeps going and he can still hear the staccato accompaniment when ever the spider moves. So she tells him again, how she ripped Nikola's dolls apart, how she set a vampire on fire, how she met Basira, story after story after story that fed him more then anyone else ever has. He doesn't even notice the film ending. It's past midnight. “Are you alright?' He pulls away and she gives him a smile. She has a bruise where he punched her. “Aces.”

[mashitandsmashit]

America’s Got Talent: The Champions - Auditions 4

So, despite what I said last week about not wanting the results to be spoiled to me, some jerk in the Youtube comments gave away this week’s results (and pretty much all of the remaining results for this season...I thought the finale would at least be live, but I guess not...) Needless to say, it kinda ruined my day...

I mean, some of my favorite variety acts in the history of the show were all there...And both of the acts to advance are the two solo singers with sob stories! (That’s a lot of S’s! And S is for SIMON!!!)

But since I heard them ahead of time, I was able to go into tonight with an open mind, take the results with a pinch of salt, understand that they probably would have been quite different if it was live, everyone watching at home could vote, there were more spots, etc.

And indeed, I was overall very satisfied! Everyone tonight seemed to put everything they had into their performances, and they all had something to offer...Even some singers that I wasn’t looking forward to rose well above my expectations! While I’m still very disappointed by the results, I can at least see what circumstances led to this, and overall, this is probably my favorite Champions show so far!

So let’s rank the acts that made up this strong show...

10: Moonlight Brothers. In a night filled with strong contenders, these two stuck out like a sore thumb...Ironically, by NOT sticking out! Howie pretty much summed it all up when he basically said that America is a completely different arena than where THEY come from, because if they were on AGT, they would have been cannon fodder...But hey, I thought they were pretty entertaining and had some interesting moves...Nonetheless, there was no doubt who last place was going to...Also, GOOD GOD, I’M SO SICK OF THAT FLOSS DANCE!!!

9: Issy Simpson. Didn’t know who she was before, but now that I do, I like her! ...Except she apparently already did this same trick for her BGT audition...Ouch! That’s gonna dock her some significant points!

8: Brian Justin Crum. This is who I THOUGHT was gonna get the GB, because his story is just the right amount of “inspiring” for Simon, but he’s also proven to be one of the more exceptional singers in recent seasons...Also, the promo last week showed him in front of a glittery golden background, so I thought it was a dead giveaway...Turns out I was half right, because that apparently comes up for the OTHER act advancing as well...Anyway, yeah, I still like him, but compared to some of the other acts, I wish it went to someone else...And it’s ironic, because I was ready to accept him advancing ALONGSIDE one of my favorites over the other two singing acts...And yet, the other two actually exceeded my expectations, whereas he settled on being...BIG! Not that that’s a bad thing in and of itself, but for me it just wasn’t as compelling to listen to...But I will say, that song choice was just a natural pick for him, especially since it’s from a fellow gay man! In fact, during Season 11, I was waiting to see if he was gonna perform it...

7: Drew Lynch. I’ve always considered Drew to be quite underrated, and his jokes tonight were mostly quite solid...Maybe if the set lasted longer than 30 seconds (I know that’s an exaggeration...His stutters add at LEAST an extra minute!), he’d rank higher!

6: The Texas Tenors. Ahhh, Season 4...The year I got into AGT! I was a naive young fool back then...I was VERY prone to getting my hopes up (even more than I am now!) I was like, “Well, that Kevin Skinner guy is good and all, but he’s not as good as the other singers, so maybe the semi-finals is as far as he should go...Can’t have TOO many singers in the final round, right? Gotta make room for the variety acts...Like Acrodunk! They should TOTALLY clean up tomorrow night!” That infamous season is what ultimately prepared me for the pain I would have to endure down the road if I were to continue to watch this show...And one of the biggest pains was watching these three pretty-boys (okay, the short one’s not that pretty) make it all the way to Fourth Place on what appeared to be nothing but their Southern charm! And it’s not even that I hated them; I acknowledged that they had singing talent, and they had this schmaltzy charm to them...BUT FOURTH PLACE!? I mean, I watched some great acts get knocked out in favor of them, some of my favorite acts of the season! And these rednecks get to smile their way all the way to fourth!? It was one of my first big outrages while watching this show...But why? Again, they could sing...But there was just something about them I couldn’t stand...Anyway, I’m rambling here; The point I’m trying to make is that I actually really enjoyed them tonight! I don’t know what it is...Maybe their individual vocals have improved (because they all have uniquely great singing voices), maybe the harmony has improved...Or maybe I just feel differently about them now! I guess I’ll have to go back and re-watch their Season 4 performances and make a comparison...(I have been strongly considering watching AGT from the beginning and giving my thoughts on the older seasons, seeing how they compare with my thoughts back then in the cases of Season 4 onward...)

5: Kechi. Ooh, I felt so much outrage when I heard she was advancing over the Top 4 acts in this list (who are mostly ranked like that out of sheer bias)! With all of the acts this season (and in this episode) that make me smile, seeing her tragic disfigurement again and hearing her sad story was bound to bring down my mood, and hearing that I will see her in the finals over said joy-bringing acts brought it down even more! Going into tonight, I knew she had damn well better justify her place! ...She justified her place! BY FAR her best performance to date! I think what I like about her is that she doesn’t try to belt it out all big...I just haven’t been a big fan of hers in the past because I felt that she could USE a little more “big”! And tonight, she went just big enough while keeping it nice and balanced, and when she does that, she really can be one of the best singers! I saw a hint of that in her quarter-final performance back in Season 12, but not until tonight have I seen her full potential unleashed! That said, I think it’s pretty obvious why Simon REALLY wanted to give her the GB, and I’m convinced that as producer, he made sure to arrange her to perform this week when he gets to do that! Classic Simon...

4: Kenichi Ebina. Okay, I’m not gonna deny that my constant support of Kenichi is mostly bias, because even back in Season 8, there WAS kind of a hit and miss quality to most of his performances...But I still couldn’t help but love this guy and everything he represented! Tonight was no different; The dances were mostly limited to the DDR segment at the beginning, and then he went all big fancy effects, and didn’t do a whole lot physically from there...So I can see where Mel’s coming from...But I loved the effects, I loved the story, and I especially loved the little robot dog aiding him throughout...It wasn’t perfect; Honestly, his performances never really were...But I don’t think any AGT contestant has inspired me as much as this guy has! My respect for him transcends his performances! I guess that’s a major reason why I was so happy that he won Season 8 despite his imperfections, and why I was deep down hoping he could defend his AGT cred in Champions by at least making the finals...But I guess you can’t have them all...Nonetheless, I still can’t help but salute this guy!

3: Paul Zerdin. I guess there weren’t any big innovations like the animatronic effects he did back in Season 10, but as Howie said, this guy’s always finding unique ways to play with the art of ventriloquism...Like Darci, I would like to see new puppets from him (and voices that don’t sound like Howie doing a British Bobby Generic), but this guy still entertains me every time!

2: The Professional Regurgitator. I think everyone can take Simon’s opinions here with a grain of salt...His decision to buzz the guy while he had a razor blade in his throat on the other hand...From what I heard from Stevie ahead of time as well as his curse to Simon backstage, I can tell he’s pissed at this, even more than Heidi is! And I know this isn’t for everyone...I should know; I didn’t like this guy at first when he came on in Season 10 either...But with all the crazy tricks he pulled off, he just kept growing on me! This might not have been his best trick to date...but I’m still pretty damn impressed, however he pulled it off! And for all his talk of swallowing Paul Zerdin, perhaps the one who he SHOULD be swallowing is Simon Cowell! It would surely be a terrifying sight...But also cathartic!

1: Tape Face. I’m actually quite surprised that he managed to get into the Top 3 (or 4?) But it provided a slight bit of satisfaction to an otherwise disappointing result...Perhaps a big part of it is that he made sort of a love letter to the show while getting Howie and Terry to do much of the performing...It’s actually quite genius! But a big part of what makes this character so charming is simply his presence! I could only imagine what it would have been like if I was in the audience waiting to see what old AGT act would come onstage next, and then seeing that weird intro where he’s in shadows...and then sits up and reveals himself! I would be cheering...at least in my mind, because I’m socially awkward...Not much else to say; It’s Tape Face! ‘Nuff said!

So again, I would have liked to see at least one favorite make it alongside whatever sob story singer that Simon was inevitably gonna give the GB to...But for what we got, I’m happy! Onward to next week!

I’m actually not gonna bother ranking next week’s acts based on my support, because half of them are foreign acts who I’ve never heard of (but they all sound interesting), and the other half...Well, I can’t say there are any that I DON’T like...Let’s just say that there are two clear front-runners (though I know only one of them will go through), a singing group that I really like, a singer who I...like enough...and a magician who I like, but will surely be overshadowed by the other one who is one of the pre-mentioned front-runners (in fact, they will no doubt play up a rivalry with the two).

I guess that is all there is to say for now...