#also the fact that i'm mentally ill

[auguste-rlg]

i feel completely and utterly alone like i have absolutely nothing in common with anyone

[inkskinned]

hey btw if you're in the USA at  2:20 p.m. ET on Wednesday, Oct. 4, they're testing the emergency broadcast system. your phone is probably going to make a really loud noise, even if it's on silent. there's a backup date on the 11th if they need to postpone it.

if you're not in a safe situation and have an extra phone, you should turn that phone completely off beforehand.

additionally, if you're like me, and are easily startled; i recommend treating it like a party. have a countdown or something. be surrounded by your loved ones. take the actions you personally need to take to make yourself safe.

i have already seen mockery towards any person who feels nervous about this. for the record, it completely, completely valid to have "emergency broadcast sounds" be an anxiety trigger. do not let other people make fun of you for that. emergency sounds are legitimately engineered to make us take action; those of us with high levels of anxiety and/or neurodivergence are already pre-disposed to have a Bad Time. sometimes it is best to acknowledge that the situation will be triggering for some, and to prepare for that; rather than just saying "well that's stupid, it's just a test."

"loud scary sound time" isn't like, my favorite thing, but we can at least try to prevent some additional anxiety by preparing for it. maybe get yourself a cake? noise cancelling headphones? the new hozier album? whatever helps. love u, hope you're okay. we are gonna ride it out together.

[bugpalace]

hello nonhuman ally / young uneducated nonhuman. you have a bomb strapped to your chest. to diffuse it, you must explain why alterhumans are valid without saying any of these phrases

- they still know they're human / it's not like they believe they're physically nonhuman

- well they're not delusional / mentally ill

- it's just a phase, don't bother them / let kids be kids / they're just exploring their identity

- well they're just [insert something that only describes otherpaws / furries]

you have 1 hour.

[necrotic-nephilim]

jealousy really is the driving force of DamiTim as a ship. love that for them. love how Tim has the Robin mantle ripped away from him and he has to suffer the jealousy of watching Dick and Damian bond. how possessive over Dick Tim can be, to have him stolen by Dick.

even more so though, is the jealousy from Damian. how on earth do you cope when you finally get to be Robin, a role you've convinced is your birthright, and no one really likes you? every prefers the Robin who came before you? Dick regularly reminds you that he can always go and call Tim back when you act out? like the complex Damian has over Tim is unreal. Tim, who was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and had everything handed to him his whole life. he never had to struggle or fight for his place like Damian did. Damian has spent his whole life fighting and proving himself, and yet he can't ever seem to truly claw the mantle of Robin away from Tim. even when Tim lets it go, becomes Red Robin, they seem to share it. Tim can slip back into the role of Robin whenever someone like Dick or Bruce need him to, because *he's* the Robin who they need. he's the Robin who was able to find Bruce. he's the Robin that Ra's wants an heir out of. he's the Robin who even Jason respects. in Damian's eyes, everything Damian has fought tooth and nail for, was handed to Tim.

so of course he's going to react to Tim with violence and aggression, especially after finding out Tim has contingency plans for him. no matter how much Damian proves himself, he's never going to be enough, especially not to Tim. and so his deep refusal to see Tim as family, to acknowledge Tim's legacy is all driven by such an angry jealousy. Tim understands aspects of Bruce's legacy that Damian doesn't, like the need to sweet talk and play nice with the elites of Gotham, even if they're corrupt. they exemplify different aspects of Robin, and the aspects that Tim exemplifies are the aspects that Damian knows he'll never fully understand and therefore holds such a deep contempt for. he wants to fight criminals, not play nice with politicians. Tim understands the side of Gotham that's utterly foreign to Damian. if anything, he represents that side of Gotham, to Damian. a pretty little rich boy who's nothing but a know-it-all and not a real son of Bruce. he can't be a Wayne. he can't be Damian's family.

and all of that angry jealousy leading to unhealthy obsession turned a weird, angry crush from Damian is just my bread and butter. that is how DamiTim should be. to me. Damian obsessed over hating Tim Drake so much he accidentally ends up sort of in love with him and that only makes Damian angrier. because he can't prove everyone right by *also* liking Tim. he can't let Ra's win like that, because frankly why wouldn't Ra's be delighted by Damian and Tim getting together. and it builds and builds with angry passive aggression towards Tim that culminates in angry hate-fucking-that's-not-just-driven-by-hate. love and hate are always viewed as opposites in shipping and i think they're the same intense passion just in different directions. and for the best ships, they're very intertwined. what is DamiTim is not the peak of that. "i put so much of myself into hating you i had no choice but to fall in love with you somewhere along the way" core. love that bleeds into hate and hate that bleeds into love. "you make me so angry i regularly passively try to kill you but not with any real effort because who would i obsess over if you were actually gone" core. murder attempts as a form of courting. contingency plans to take each other out as a love language. they're unwell.

[eveningrainstorm]

People often talk about Rio Ranger as if he's the doll version of Sei but what I find super fascinating is that he isn't, not in the same way Fake Reko or the Dummies are replications of their human counterparts.

Ranger resembles Sei on a surface level — same physical appearance, just an unclear amount older; same way of speaking. But he is unmistakably different. Ranger is an incomplete being, missing his positive emotions, but even the true Ranger is Rio Laizer rather than Sei, because there's still something different.

Rio Ranger is, fundamentally, inhuman and yet desperate to be human. He was created to be jealous of humanity and despite his hatred for them, humanity is what he is always striving for. But it is something that he doesn't possess, and is forced to steal instead. He takes clothes from the dead and uses drawings on cards to feign emotion; he is the Dress-Up Doll, Rearranger, not possessor of anything of his own.

While the other dolls based on humans in the game have identity issues based on their personhood being defined by someone else, being merely a copy of another person, Ranger is not even allowed Sei's identity to base himself on — it's very likely he doesn't even know who Sei was. He does not have Sei's clothes — nondescript and tied to Asunaro as they are — and he does not have the capacity for expressing emotion that Sei had.

When comparing Ranger and Sei in terms of personality, differences are obvious. There are similarities, naturally — besides the abrasive way of speaking, there's the jealousy and desire for validation. But in Ranger, these are present to an extreme — they're all he has. (And, ironically, this is what Gashu claims to believe makes him so human, even when Ranger's inhumanity comes through most clearly in this lack of anything else.)

In Sei, on the other hand, these traits are tempered by logic, to put things in YTTD's beloved logic vs. emotion dichotomy. Despite his outwardly emotional nature, from what we see of him he appears realistic and focused on survival in a way that Kai isn't. He's aggressive and overly casual about killing people, but he doesn't express the glee at violence that Ranger does, only a fierce desire to prove himself and survive. Sei is jealous of Kai and desires Gashu's affection, but also has an understanding of the situation he's in that both Kai and Ranger lack — he can tell that Gashu doesn't care about him as much as he does Kai, and recognizes that the way Gashu treats both of them is wrong. Ranger believes Gashu truly loves him, a fact proven blatantly false by his eventual demise at Gashu's hands. Ironically, this blindness is more similar to Kai as we see him in his minisode, rather than Sei.

Of course, this understanding isn't simply a part of Sei's basic nature, but rather the fact that unlike Kai and Ranger, he has past experience to go on. Sei wasn't born into the Satou family — though his exact origins are unclear, based on his grief for his birth father and how he talks about Asunaro ("all this shady organization crap"), it's possible he wasn't even born into Asunaro at all. Before being sent to Gashu, he had his own father, one who we don't know anything about but whom he apparently loved. He doesn't accept Gashu's treatment of him and Kai the way Kai does because he has known a different father and a different way of life. This doesn't free him from Asunaro's influence — he still accepts the role of assassin they give him and resigns himself to becoming a killer. What choice does he have, after all? But he carries no illusions about Asunaro or his role in it. He knows that the training is cruel, that he is viewed only as a tool, that Asunaro is wrong even if they are also not worth resisting.

This is a major part of why Ranger isn't Sei, why he cannot be; because Asunaro is all Ranger knows. They are his creators, who he was literally built to serve. In Ranger's mind, he is not only Gashu's son and heir, but his creation, his masterpiece. And of course he wouldn't have been created with Sei's memories — why take that risk? Why give him any sort of knowledge of a life outside Asunaro or reason to be disloyal to them?

Ranger is not Sei — so why model Ranger after him? Because Ranger is the idea of Sei, what Sei was meant to be: a counterpart to Kai, a rival, a second choice. Gashu preferred Kai, once; Kai won out over Sei. But Kai has proven himself a failure and betrayed Asunaro, leaving Gashu with no choice but turn once more to Kai's long-dead competition. Ranger is, like Sei, the opposite of Kai, temperamental and vulgar while Kai is stoic and polite, and perhaps more importantly, capable of murder while Kai steadfastly is not.

And yet Ranger isn't Sei. Sei was jealous of those — specifically Kai — he saw as superior or at least as being treated as such; Ranger is this idea taken to its natural conclusion. Sei had lost everything he had outside of Asunaro; Ranger never had anything else to begin with. Sei was a human; Ranger will never be, doomed to forever long otherwise. Ranger is Sei only in the ways Sei was useful — desperate for recognition, willing to kill, a perfect rival to Kai — but something entirely different, an inhuman machine, in all the ways Sei was a liability.

Sei was human, and he knew that he deserved to have that fact respected. Ranger isn't human and gets only the wanting, desperate to be as good as a human even humanity itself is unattainable. Of course, it isn't being a doll that is actually Ranger's problem — it's Asunaro, who view humans and dolls alike as disposable. Sei's humanity didn't make him any less of a tool as far as Asunaro was concerned, it only made him more difficult to control. All Sei wanted was to be seen as an equal to Kai, a person worthy of respect — and this is what he gets, in the end: his face and voice used as a base for one of Asunaro's weapons, while his true identity and personhood remains forgotten.

Ranger has nothing to hold him back from doing his duty for Asunaro, nor does he have anything to hold onto outside of it. In that sense, Ranger is an ideal asset for Asunaro — at least until the very jealousy and hatred Gashu programmed into him goes too far, and he is, once again, deemed a failure. Ironically, Gashu shoots Ranger for attempting to kill a participant, when willingness to kill was perhaps the one true advantage Sei had over Kai.

In the end, Ranger is offered no more humanity in his death than Sei is — they are both merely pawns of Asunaro, set to die at its whims. But while Sei dies in the arms of his brother, receiving one final act of kindness as Kai refuses to kill him, Ranger has no one in either of his deaths but his creators: in his death as Rio Laizer the dubious kindness of Tia Safalin, making his final moments full of agonizing guilt, and of course in his first death, as Rio Ranger, nothing but Gashu's coldness, the bullet in his head a sort of culmination to the favoritism Sei found weighed against him, and a demonstration of just how far Gashu has come from the father who once genuinely cared for Sei. Sei was human, Ranger was not, but as far as Asunaro is concerned, they are exactly the same: tools, easily thrown away as soon as they stop being useful.

[kattythingz]

Time to expose myself as a dragon girl. Edling httyd/rtte au be upon ye!!! Happy new year!!!

This art is pretty representative of my growth as an artist this year, given I officially started my art journey January 2024! It's insanely wild how much I've grown and improved since then; comparing this version to my very first doodles for au is uh... very illuminating, to say the least.

Close-ups and au lore under the cut as always, and thank you to everyone who's supported me the past year! <3

Starting off with our main cast and their dragons! We've got:

Ling -> Lan Fan (albino night fury) ♀️

Ed -> Sunbane (deadly nadder) ♀️

Al -> Socks (prickleboggle) ♂️

Winry -> Sledge (egg biter) ♂️

Paninya -> Rumble & Tumble (hideous zippleback) ♂️

Russell -> Victoria (devilish dervin) ♀️

Most of the gang are from the diverse village of Xing, but the Resembool trio are sanctuary-seekers after a violent dragon raid destroyed Resembool when they were kids and the Rockbells and Trisha died in the aftermath. Winry still had Granny to raise her in their new home of Xing, but Ed & Al, alone, were adopted by the Curtises. They regard Izumi as their mother over the years and eventually take on her family name at 16 (hyphenated. Elric-Curtis) and get her creed tattooed at 18.

Ling is technically the heir to Xing's Chiefdom, but he has no actual interest in the position, not like Mei does. She might be his younger half-sister but she's more commonly regarded as the "heir". This allows Ling the freedom to fuck off to the Edge without consequences lmao.

(He doesn't lose a leg in this au so much as he gets horribly scarred by the fire on his arms; Lan Fan still loses a tailfin. Ed loses his leg protecting Al from a wild dragon as kids.)

Now, as for the dragon hunters... those are obv the homunculi.

Envy serves as early stage Dagur; Greed is INTRODUCED as Ryker, kidnapping Sunbane from Ed and everything (great first impression there), but later becomes post-redemption Dagur thanks to proving his trustworthiness to Ed in "Enemy of my Enemy"; Lust serves as Heather, Greed's sister and Ed's close friend; and Bradley is Viggo, matching Ling's wits in an eerie parallel that steadily tests Ling's temperance.

(Greed and Lust relatively match the gang's ages. Lust was 19 when she met the 16 y/o gang; she never made any advances like Heather, but she was still sus enough that Ed disliked her at first. Envy's—the same age as the gang probably, tbh, given their whole asshole energy. Bradley's still old tho. Ha.)

Team Mustang come in as the Defenders of the Wing, the Riders' first allies, and the Wing Maidens... are the Wing Maidens. Honestly, they're exactly the same but Rose and Noah are part of them lmao. Ed particularly takes a liking to them, because they serve as his genderqueer awakening! He realizes during "Snotlout's Angels", while posing as a woman to save Russell's ass from becoming sacred soup, that he doesn't mind being perceived as a woman and being called she/her. He still personally perceives himself as a man and as he/him, but if his friends want to use she/her? Call him a woman? Call a friendly "have fun, ladies!" at his, Rose, and Noah's collective backs? He doesn't mind at all.

Russell is weird about it at first but mostly out of ignorance. For all his jackassery, he is still a friend and does his (awkward) best to understand Ed's deal. He's also def dealing with unrequited feelings for Ed.

(Mustang is also weird about this, but that's just because he's old and very very confused with the youth. The rest of the team sans Hawkeye is quite fond of calling Ed "little lady" [akin to their canon "boss"] in light of his new gender expression though, and Ed is actually pretty pleased by the nickname. A rare instance where a "short" synonym doesn't irk him.)

Despite his status as a Rider, Ed's actually still pretty distrustful of wild dragons; they did still cause the loss of his leg as a kid. Nevertheless, he's always the first to support Ling in his crazy dragon training endeavors. He carries Izumi's spear as his favored weapon, handed down to him as a gift for dragon killing training initially. He also used to carry a basic but beloved knife that he sadly loses during an episode. Ling makes up for this loss by making his betrothal gift a knife, knowing Ed would prefer a practical gift in the first place.

He forges it himself, as Fu's old apprentice and now a capable blacksmith of his own. He was always capable, technically, but he was also pretty often distracted by his big fat crush on Ed when they were kids, so... he's got a few accidents on public record. This laughably leads to Ed randomly being banned from the forge sometimes just so Ling can focus on his work. Context that is not given to Ed until years later when he and Ed are courting.

And, speaking of courting! Ed used to wear Trisha's kransen as a kid, uncaring that it was "for girls" (insert transfemme egg meme) and that he was judged for it. It was his mothers so he was gonna wear it, damn it. Ling was one of the rare few to never judge Ed for this. When Ed loses his kransen to Envy or sth in a Riders of Berk episode, Ling secretly goes through hell to get it back for him. When he hands it back to Ed, he asks no explanation as to why Ed "cares so much about a girl's accessory" (*cough* Russell *cough*), and simply says, if it's important to Ed then that's all he needs to know.

Ling, oblivious mf that he is, is shocked when he earns a spontaneous hug for this trouble.

Ed later takes to wearing the kransen just around his wrist. He says it's because he's much more confident in his place in Xing now, but he never mentions that it's partially cuz... he feels whatever he has with Ling doesn't really count as "unmarried" anymore.

But Ling doesn't need to know that for a long, long time.

Ed and Russell are basically a one-to-one of Astrid and Snotlout, only Russell is a little less of a dickhead than Riders of Berk Snotlout; he puts his foot in his mouth cuz he's a dumb teenager with a dumb unrequited crush. He and Ed generally refer to each other by last name (friendly rivalry and all), but they've been known to use first names in genuine moments. Russell also notably asks if Ed would like to be called by "Curtis" after he takes on Izumi's name, at which Ed shakes his head and says it's fine to keep things as they are between them.

They've come a long way since their relationship in "Fright of Passage", when Russell, like Snotlout, initially took free jabs at Ed's family name because everyone knows the story of when Izumi Curtis froze against the Flightmare. Izumi's long gotten over those rumors, but Ed was determined to regain her honor and predictably lost his temper with Russell at that comment. That was largely their relationship before Russell got his shit together.

Ed and Al are often confused for twins by the hunters, and they're close as ever on the daily. However, their biggest fight happens when they discover that Hohenheim made the Dragon Eye. Ed and Al have two different reactions at this news: Al is astounded that Hoho was a hunter and is disappointed at the fact... and Ed couldn't care less. Ex-hunter or not, the guy is still a deadbeat.

Al is of a much more forgiving opinion of Hoho, having been two years younger than Ed and thus remembering less of the man who abandoned them and their mother.

They get into an argument over this. The entire gang is stunned.

The fight is bad enough that, in "A Ruff Transition", when a baby razorwhip (Moonshade!! <3) takes a liking to Ed on Wing Maiden Island and he has to train her for a bit, the gang actually wonders if Ed will abandon them for the Maidens. Since he seemed to have so much fun with Rose, Noah, and the rest, nothing like his previous anger and stress after his and Al's fight.

Ling is the only one who doesn't think this, reassuring them calmly that Ed just needs time to cool down and have fun. And he's proven correct! Ed's hurt to discover the gang had doubted him so easily, but Ling hadn't, and the aftermath of that episode leaves things between Ed and co. (sans Ling) a little strained until Al can apologize.

(Moonshade later tracks down Ed in a separate future episode, and she becomes a resident of the Edge, much to the male Riders' initial misfortune lmao.)

Aaaaand that's where my notes weirdly end. I've got a ton more "episode" ideas but that's all the coherent stuff. Bless you if you read this far. As a treat, have a useless fun fact: Ed's dragon names are all based on poisons. Sunbane -> henbane, and Moonshade -> nightshade. Winry's dragon name is an obv pun about sledgehammers, Al's name is a repurposed cat one, yes the gang makes fun of him for this, and Russell just likes classic names and Victoria is a classy name for a classy lady, Elric, can it.

Ling just made the obv canon cold rice pun lmao.

[iamonlyhereforthefreefood]

Oh they're trying so hard to paint him as crazy

[aberooski]

headcanon that came out of nowhere ; i think atticus is a Weird Cuddler. not in the sense that he’s weird about the touching but that he always always ALWAYS has to hear someone’s heartbeat when they’re laying together.

it started with alexis when they were kids, because he was always told that a big brother needs to be there for his little sister. so he was always there to watch her in the night when she would cry or have a nightmare, and he’d always know when she was panicking or not because of her heart rate. and all he would think in the darkness would be “you have to protect it. you have to keep her heart beating this strong.”

it was horrible when he was possessed. there was nobody’s heartbeat but his own to listen to. ‘his’ own.

when he’s finally back at school, he lays in the dark after a nightmare. he can’t get up, that feeling of a choking presence chaining him down into the bed. but into the sheets he taps, that familiar ba-dump, ba-dump of alexis’ heart.

No because I completely agree and I think this is entirely in line with his character.

I was just watching episode 173 the other day just kinda because I felt like it and I was I suppose you could say, studying, as I am constantly analyzing him, Chazz, and Alexis. And I came across a certain moment that confirmed that I write Atticus extremely accurately, but is also and more importantly, is incredibly telling about him as a character and a person.

So after everyone is lost to Darkness and Atticus is the only one left on the island stripped of his memories of anyone and everyone, he breaks down and says this:

Atticus, in his mind and in his heart, exists entirely for the sake of others. His purpose is to be there to guide and protect and care for others and to be needed. Every single thing we ever see him do is in the interest of someone else. Usually Chazz or Alexis, but a few others as well throughout the show. He never does anything for himself, or thinks about himself first. I agree, while he was alone in Darkness while he was possessed, he couldn’t be comforted by his own heart beat. If anything, it would only make things worse because he can't stand being alone and not having anyone to care for and protect. He yearns for connection with people, especially the people he cares for the most, and being cut off from them for so long would be destructive to him.

And to the point of him being a snuggler cuddler, I also agree! I think Atticus is a very tactile, tangible person. Both by way of physical touch, and having tangible representations of concepts and ideas for him to hold onto. Like a heartbeat.

And Alexis, being the most important person in his life, the one he's always held the most dear, would be one tangible representation of safety and comfort. And when he's in darkness, cut off from her and his friends, he can't hear or feel anyone's heartbeat. There's no comfort for him, no way to know if the ones he cares for are alright or if they need him, not that he could go to them anyway during that time. He would just feel alone and useless, like he'd failed somehow, even though what happened to him wasn't his fault and he never asked to be dragged into the shadows. He accepted the power of Darkness as a last resort so that he could survive and make it back home to his family and friends. But when he finally does come back, let's have a look at this shot from episode 30, shall we?

Now I may be stretching a little, but hear me out. I think when he comes back, one of the first things he can feel is her heartbeat. Now, normally he might not be able to because she's a girl so not to be crass, but I'm also a girl so I can say it, her boobs are in the way. But she just got her brother back after a year and thinking she'd maybe really lost him for good and they just went through a whole shadow duel, and she's sobbing. This girl's heart has to be POUNDING, so I think for him it's a feint feeling but it's there even while he's unconscious. And she's distressed despite the fact that it's good distress, sure, but the fact is that after so long spent being alone and cut off from any semblance of feeling or comfort and being unable to fulfill his need to care for and protect his loved ones, like his sister, feeling her heartbeat again would tell him that he's free. That he's safe, that she's safe. I think it would solodifty heartbeats as a source of strength and comfort to him. So I can absolutely buy that when he's being crushed under the weight of the dark and his fear and can't breathe and his own heart is racing, he could find it within himself to tap or somehow create the rhythm of his sister's calm, steady heartbeat to remind him that he's safe and that everything's okay. Or even if it's not, that it will be.

Not to mention the fact that he's a musician, and I think in that way was well, the steady rhythm of a heart would be very comforting for him and something very tangible he can hold onto in the essence of the concept because it's something he can wholeheartedly understand.

[satanfemme]

"no mental disorder makes you a bad person" is very very true and a good statement to promote, but "if someone does something bad, they must've chosen do it, there's never any other possible explanation, and it's especially never b/c of any mental disorders" isn't true?? besides the fact that people can make honest mistakes (even big ones) without realizing what they're doing, or the fact that life circumstances can influence what choices someone even thinks are available to them in the first place, my hot take is that mental disorder can influence you to do bad things sometimes and that should be acknowledged.

that does NOT mean a person with a disorder would be a special extra evil kind of abuser compared to a neurotypical person (ie "narcissist abuse" is still a meaningless and harmful term). it also does not mean that abusers are more likely to have a disorder than to be neurotypical. but disorders are disabling, they cause disorder, it's right in the name, they negatively affect you and your connection to others... why do you think that wouldn't that affect your behavior too sometimes? I know my disorders affect mine. often in negative ways!

besides just "mental disorders are never disabling in ways that make me feel uncomfortable" being ableist, understanding this is important if you believe in prison abolition (which you should). "someone did something bad because they randomly chose to be bad idk" is just as unhelpful as "someone did something bad because they were born bad". but "someone did something bad because of X thing they're struggling with, or their Y need is unmet" is helpful, that's something you can work with and fix. integrate this into your anarchist worldview.

and lastly, tbh it's isolating to have "scary" or "bad" symptoms, and then get told by armchair "mental health advocates" online that you're just choosing to have those symptoms and maybe you could be a better person if you simply chose to stop having mental illness in the first place. so you know, don't be fucking rude lol

[astradyke]

oh no talking about my own life again? on my blog? i should be stoned

[musical-chick-13]

Okay, no, sorry, I’m still mad about this. “Be critical of the media you consume and examine why you react to it in the way that you do, support marginalized and stigmatized identities.” Yeah, until it’s about mental illness.

A woman (or even man, if he’s deemed over-emotional) makes music about suffering from mental illness and people just go, “What are they complaining about, that’s so immature, hashtag wangst.” (And then, sometimes, inexplicably, if the mentally ill woman gets better and writes happier music, they then talk about how artistically bankrupt she is now and that she should go back to hating herself.) People LOVE cis white pRoBLeMaTiC (straight) fictional men until they are realistically mentally ill, in which case they’re “whiny” and “insufferable” and deserve to die violently, apparently (or, if fandom is merciful, they’re ignored). (And then they celebrate when they DO inevitably get killed off.) “Do your duty and watch [thing I, mc13, personally find insufferable] For The (white) Gays because it has Gays.” Sure, will you watch c4 Pure, the ONLY show specifically about OCD, then? (No, the answer is no, it’s always no.)

I can’t get anyone to watch Doom Patrol. I couldn’t get people (in general-I did convince a few irl friends thank GOD) to watch Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. One of the most popular and acclaimed shows right now has a character with schizophrenia who was turned into the Big Bad Villain for no fucking reason. One of the most commonly-cited examples of Iconic™ queer media involves a mentally ill man being broken over and over and over again before The Ship™ can reasonably happen. DW introduced a major character who was at one point suffering from mental illness in her past, AND THEN ALL MENTION OF THIS WAS COMPLETELY DROPPED IN THE FUTURE, WITH NO BEARING ON ANYTHING TO THE POINT WHERE I FORGOT IT EVEN EXISTED??!?!? R*tched was a thing that existed despite the Sad Sympathetic Backstory treatment being IN DIRECT CONTRADICTION OF WHAT PURPOSE THIS CHARACTER SERVED IN One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. THEY GAVE. A SAD WOOBIE VILLAIN TREATMENT. TO THE /LITERAL PERSONIFICATION/ OF ABLEISM. THAT IS HER FUNCTION. TO EXIST AS A SYMBOL OF ALL THE WAYS SOCIETY OPPRESSES THE DISABLED AND MENTALLY ILL.

I am!!! Literally!!!!! The only one!!!!!!!!! Complaining about these things!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE ONLY ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No one else has said ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No one is talking about it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m so tired!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[clowngremlin]

basically made dinner all by myself today (older brother only seasoned our chicken breasts and i did the rest of everything)......i cooked raw meat which is something i don't do very often and was worried about, but everything turned out great!!! i also did my laundry today, took the dog for a walk and fed him and have been on top of making sure his water dish is always full, loaded the dishwasher with dirty dishes (idk how to turn it on, i'm gonna ask my dad how to do it when he gets home so i can begin to do it by myself!), did some drawing, wrote in my journal, and pulled myself out of a depressive spiral i was having earlier in the day!!!! really beating the "spencer can't take care of himself or do anything ever" allegations......

[chronal-anomaly]

job hunting is just so :bleh:

[skinnypaleangryperson]

I don't know if it's just me, but are they gradually dumbing down Rick's character for the sake of keeping the show popular?

I got extreme Peter Griffin vibes from this episode, and I feel like in general he's a lot less sharp and cool gritty and witty and "unconventional" the way that he was the first couple of seasons. He wasn't an easy character to "swallow" in a lot of ways so to speak, and I feel like he's gradually getting dumber, more cloudy around the edges, less sharp and more conventional and shallow with a lot of the things that he says. He feels extremely typical sometimes this season-like more of the character that people would watch because the character doesn't challenge their headspace in any kind of way, and is someone that encourages their complacent drunk dead personality.

The character used to say things that was really unpopular, or at the very least would occasionally say things that would make people uncomfortable (just things like "if you know how you're going to die because of how boring your life is then you're not even alive" and just things that challenged at the boring drunk complacent status quo that most American sitcom characters are), was an extreme breath of fresh air in terms of how sharp he was and how he wasn't afraid to challenge everything even if it was just in a TV show character kind of way, and it's one of the things that stuck out about me about him the most, especially as someone who is mentally ill and feels detached from most of American culture.

I might just be in a bad mood, but I genuinely feel like Rick feels less sharp and "unconventional"and is starting to feel increasingly more dumb, dopey and easy to swallow as a character.

I still love him and I always will, and sometimes I find it endearing, but this episode in particular felt like he was just being a dumb genuine and boring drunk (really just in terms of the scene with Beth, but considering that the episodes are only about 22 minutes, there isn't a lot of elbow room to work with, especially considering most of this episode was summer screen time).

The only reason why I care so much is because of Rick is one of the very few characters I've ever been genuinely connected with, so I'm just worried that Rick as a character is going down to gradual slippery slope of just becoming an American extremely overly dumbed it down product. The show was so gritty and real and raw and a lot of ways for the first three to four seasons and kept that touch up to season 6, but this season just feels like they're gradually going into "American Dad" type feeling territory, and I'm vaguely worried a little bit about my connection to the show. Especially as someone that does not connect to things easily or ever at all really. And partially because everything is so dumbed down and doesn't seem to have any and genuine philosophy behind it except of being another brainless thing for people to consume to pass the time.

[elytrafemme]

this is not a healthy way to think about my emotions but depression is so fucking embarrassing. like my roommate and two suitemates are all mentally ill and two of them were literally joking about me being manic earlier so it's not like they don't know but like i dunno. i think i thought when i hit college again i'd be normal and i know this is just pms but i really just have no motivation to do anything. like i did submit an assignment that was cool but it's also So Much and i know it's just stupid and for a day but i'm like. i just want to lifelessly lay in bed. i guess. but i have a roommate and i'm worried that's weird. i don't know.

[sol1loqu1st]

ok can i be honest with you guys for a second. i know i said that i was gonna mostly keep the plurality shit to myself because i feel like it's pretty private and currently really tangled with cptsd and i just don't want plurality to be like. The Thing People Associate Me With, but after talking with my therapist about it and kind of coming to the conclusion that yeah, that probably is what's going on with me, i'm realizing that i have a whole lot of shame and fear mixed up in it too and a Semi-Popular Blogger(tm) (not naming names but like. yeah) recently published a long post out of nowhere complaining about how they could never be friends with plural people because they feel like they've been Pulled Into Somebody's Groupchat Drama and like i keep playing that in my head and feel like i'm going to lose all my friends if i don't make sure to keep it to myself. i feel like i'm finally figuring something out about myself and what's going on with me, but it's something that is judged and mocked by literally everyone, including otherwise perfectly nice people, and i'm honestly really scared that if i were to be even a little open about it, i would start to get dms from friends asking to cut things off or letting me know that they couldn't deal with me right now or whatever, even if it turned out that Embracing It(tm) and being a bit more open about it is like, a healthy step in the right direction. like i'm terrified i'm gonna lose people under the guise of "i can't be friends with a groupchat" even if the way i interact with people wouldn't change at all aside from *maybe* occasionally mentioning that it's a different alter than usual