#also ocd

[privatejoker]

if you have OCD that moralistic post it not about you. keep scrolling. i love you

[syn4k]

[drgnflyteabox]

ghost x fem!reader

simon finds a reason to live // stalking, depression, disassociation, simons past child abuse, body horror imagery, you're a single mom, minor sexism-kindaish

Simon's humanity is an external thing, amorphous and disconnected. He might've had a tether as a child, a distinct human softness necessary for survival, but it's since been deadened.

It's not so much a lack as it is a shrinkage. Empathy, emotional intelligence, they come natural at first but terrorize someone, neglect them? They'll turn black and rot as any limb without oxygen.

His father is long dead, he knows this, has read the obituary (full of lies) and pissed on his grave (twice).

And yet his father has the power to strike lightening through the only soft part of him left on any given day, at any given time, at any given place–

His father lives in the way that his heart nearly stops at the shop when the child beside him knocks down a full display of four cheese tomato sauce, glass and red slop crashing to the floor.

Run.

He freezes but his eyes snap to the sound, startlingly loud, mind racing and yet thinking of nothing at all as he feels the fear of god race through him.

Dad's gonna fucking kill you, Tommy laughs raucously.

Simon's never really blamed Tommy, but his voice echoes in his head sometimes too. It does again now, dad's got two tickets for the weekend.

The child takes two steps back, shocked at themselves and the mess and the loud loud sound that has quieted the rest of the store.

He thinks of all the ways he'll step in when the father rounds the corner. Then it's you and his breath goes thin.

"Awe, honey," you say softly. Kindly.

"Oops," the kid says, not a trace of fear in their face.

"Did'ja knock these over, Bram?" you crouch down, careful of the glass, and gently move the boy to the side, "that's okay. Do you remember what we do when we break a glass?"

Simon is still frozen– dumfounded, really. Your patience throws him off.

Fucking moron, his father screams in his head, useless! before he hurts Simon so bad the memory loops and loops, restarting just to torture him.

Fucking moron, fucking moron, useless, fucking moron–

And then you smile sheepishly up at him, eyes crinkling in the corners, and that soft human part of him eternally drifting sticks back to his skin and spreads like a rash.

They don't make you pay for any of the jars, nor do they make you clean up the mess. Still, you crouch again beside your son and explain to him again what to do when he breaks a glass.

Make sure you have shoes on. Don't use your bare hands. Call a grownup.

He's addicted to the sound of your voice. The softness of it, how gently you make sure to speak so that the message is taken in without any kind of fear.

Simon follows your car like the sound of your voice is the warm smell of pie on the windowsill and he's Mickey Mouse floating after it.

Awe, honey, loops through his head. Awe, honey. Awe, honey.

He doesn't make himself known just yet. All he does is note down your address for the next time he's on leave, tells John he's met someone and she's a sweetheart.

When he's back on leave he watches you struggle, and it tears at the new growth of softness.

You work, dropping Bram at school and then spending the day at the office. Then, when Bram is asleep and you've cleaned the house, you open your laptop back up and work a second job.

That just won't do. It takes everything in him not to kick your door down at the weak spot and have you whisper in his ear for a living.

Not yet. Not yet. He tries to loop that, but all he can hear is your sweet voice pleading with the electricity company and it becomes harder and harder.

Please, you say through the bug, I just need four more days. Then I get my paycheck.

Simon thinks about putting his hands around the answering voice's neck when they deny you–

But that's a bandaid solution.

It'll be better to eliminate the problem altogether.

Not the piling bills on your kitchen table that you tuck away when the child goes to school, nor the boss who shouts at you 'til he's red in the face.

No, he'll eliminate the real problem. The way he's seen John do, the way he's seen Gaz take example.

He'll be the man in your life, soon.

[teaboot]

I feel like if you're using a lot of disposable plastic bags in your day to day life, you've gotta do something sustainable to make up for it. Like using bamboo toilet paper or eco friendly cat litter or something, yknow

Honestly I exaggerate for comedic effect, while I DO routinely use ziplock bags to hold spaghetti I cook maybe once a month and the bag itself is usually for freezer storage. I actually throw out maybe one bag a week? I DO hate washing plates and tupperware and junk but that usually just means I eat sandwiches without a plate.

I agree though that needless waste should be avoided, and I do avoid it- biodegradable bags and recyclables, empty butter tubs used to store leftovers, etc.

This said, though, not applicable necessarily for myself but for a lot of others- I feel that it's importat to remember that there are many people who legitimately NEED things like plastic straws, or catheters, or pre-packaged foods

And the idea that that's a moral failing that individuals need to personally make up for when a single billionaire blows out more CO2 in a long weekend than I will in my whole life on a superjet meet-cute in the Bolivian rainforest between humvee drag races funded by the river-polluting textiles plants they planted in a third world country to avoid EPA laws and give an entire village stillbirths and stomach cancer is an idea that those very same bigwigs have spent a LOT of time and money investing in planting in the public psyche.

Like- Glass bottles are infinitely recyclable, so why are so many drinks in plastic now? Loads of drinks manufacturers used to buy them back and clean them for re-use, so why did they stop? If they chose to make something out of a limited and environmentally irresponsible material, why is it my failing to track down a correct process of disposal for them? What if there are none in my area? Do I lobby for more recycling plants in my area? Do I set aside some of my limited time outside the pain factory of my job- which I have more than one of, thanks to rising costs of things just like that drink I just emptied- to properly dispose of this company's waste FOR them?

Say coca-cola just rolled up to your town and started dumping millions of empty plastic bottles in the street, going, "wow, you should really think about building and staffing a recycling depot, it would be really shameful of you to just put these in the trash." When companies purposefully use materials with limited lifespans- because yes, even plastic can only be reused so many times- and tell you it's your own fault if it harms the environment- that's essentially what they're doing, just with more steps.

Yes, its important to be as environmentally concious as we can in our day to day life, but responsible sustainability is not catholicism. We don't get good boy points from our lord and savior Captain Planet every time the average low-income household gathers together to hold hands and repent for a single-use plastic that allows them to access something they need.

Entire families could eat trees and shit dead lithium batteries for years and still not do as much damage to the planet as an average dye plant or braindead celebrity does in a week just for fun, and I'm mad about it

...this went on longer than intended.

TL/DR: DO recycle and minimize waste, but don't beat yourself up over the little waste you can't avoid, and follow the money.

EDIT: Part 2

[turtletoria]

one downside to digital mediums of art is that you cant see the tear stains (they just slide down the screen)

[fella-lovin-fella]

hey i just wanted to give a shout out to people with personality disorders real quick. your disorder doesn't make you evil, it doesnt make you an abuser, and it doesnt make you unlovable. you're just as deserving of respect, care, and support as people without personality disorders. stay safe, i love you and i hope you have a happy holiday season. we're in this together <3

[saulathan]

Sure dirk strider

[a-s-fischer]

It is not that Jews are a more superstitious people I think, it's just that we have a really strong cultural taboo against expressing optimism, and an even stronger one against expressing certainty.

[motherofoompaloompas]

I personally subscribe to the Commander Fox has OCD headcanon

Give me Fox tapping a specific rhythm on his comm before answering

Give me Fox that carefully adjusts every item on his desk until it is placed perfectly during stressful conversations

Give me Fox that spends an entire shift stressed out of his mind because he didn’t get a chance to tell Thorn to be safe that morning and it is a verbal ritual of his

Give me Fox zoning out while being lectured by a senator because he got caught in a loop of counting his breaths

Give me Fox that has a complicated relationship with numbers so whenever he meets a shiny or sees a senator’s room number he gets split second impressions of what those numbers will bring

Give me Fox obsessively checking his troopers’ armor because if the paint is not perfect, they will be called out and decommissioned

Give me Fox having to step through doorways until it feels right or else a shiny will be decommissioned

Give me Fox that needs to check the casualties after all of his batch brothers’ battles or they will die in the next battle

Give me Fox that spends his entire sleep shift awake while his brain comes up with all the gruesome and painful ways his brothers could be dying at that moment

[lucabyte]

A belief in Nominative Determinsim

[shithowdy]

the empathy leaving keyboard activists' bodies when you tell them that sometimes what accommodates one disability is nightmarish for another disability and accusing people of being lazy/not trying hard enough to keep up unless they provide sufficient proof of exemption is basically no different than yelling at someone for using an accessible parking spot because they aren't visibly limping

[cookiecakecookie-cake]

Some food for thought on Self Aware AUs

cws: psychological horror elements, existentialism, ddlc mention and some use of machine lingo. this is mainly focused towards cookie run self aware aus, but this could apply to any fandom, really.

thinking about how horrifying a self aware au would be, strictly speaking. like, no magic, no multiversal shenanigans, just "these are characters INSIDE A GAME that become aware of the fact that they're in a game." of course you kinda have to take some liberties, but what would they be able to do, realistically? i understand the appeal of the idea, but i feel people take way more liberties than what would actually happen.

i mean, their options are extremely limited. you would think "well, why can't they just change their code?" but in effect, that'd be like trying to perform surgery on yourself while you're still awake.

speaking as a programmer, it's nearly impossible to edit anything inside of a program while it's running. you HAVE to shut it off before making ANY change. there are some cases where you can edit a program while its running, but you would be unable to see the effects until you reboot the software, and there's a good chance that any half-baked edits may cause a game breaking bug. they're insanely common in just small programs, god forbid a whole-ass game.

the best case for being able to make a significant change while a game is running would be using console commands/dev tools. you know that black box monika pulls up whenever she deletes a character? that's what i'm talking about. she can't change or add anything significantly new to the game, but a console? a console is completely different.

while trying to edit code while a program is running is, again, practically impossible, accessing console commands is a whole different ballpark. a game like crk has to have a console, they're basically mandatory to make any bug-testing actually feasible. the only drawback is that you're limited to the actual commands available, which is probably just simple stuff. there's also a good chance that a dev tool like that would be removed from the public releases of the game.

stuff like this probably means that only cookies who already have some programming experience under their belt would be the ones able to do anything significant. cookies like strawberry crepe, clotted cream, and mozzarella (or the cheese empire cookies in general) probably have the most power here. i could also see black sapphire or butter roll having some knowledge on this end too, but they probably have more experience on the hardware end, rather than the software end.

meanwhile the beasts and ancients (minus golden cheese) have to squint at the screen old man style wondering what the fuck those youngins are doing.

that leaves us with the topic of the player. i mean, we all know that the player must be a godlike figure to them, but they can't really learn anything about them asides from how they interact with the world. again: anything they aren't already programmed to do would be basically impossible to achieve, so no checking the camera or looking up browser history. (and thank fuck for that too, i do NOT need a bunch of cookies seeing the shit ive searched up.)

they probably do what they can to make things easier for you, to keep you engaged, without scaring you off. a couple more materials and soulstones here and there, cutting down the timers on a couple things, sending you more notifications than usual (or even turning your notifications ON if you previously had them off.) to have more and more of your attention.

most of the cookies probably have mixed feelings about some sort of god having such an effect on their lives, but even then, you don't have as much of an effect as they think. you don't control the story. their fate is left up to the whims of faceless gods who only wish to use their likenesses as a motive to make more profit for themselves. they're entertainment. they're money. and the player is just another consumer, indulging on what is in front of them.

some of them want to be mad, but they can't. it's not like they know why they were designed this way. shadow milk especially hates your guts, but that's only because that means there's someone more powerful than him. he's the one most likely to try to do something, anything, to finally be able to one-up their oh-so wonderful and powerful god, but inadvertently breaks things beyond repair.

i'm not saying that the way self-aware aus are done right now are BAD, but i do think some people are missing their true potential. i hope that people see this and get inspired to write something beautifully horrifying, just for fun.

[mediumgayitalian]

"Don't worry about me."

"I'm allowed to worry for people when they are doing stupid, foolish things."

"You worry about everyone."

"False. I've never worried about Cecil Markowitz a day in my life."

Nico snorts, tugging on his boot and yanking on the laces. "Right," he drawls, "and the insistence on walking him fourteen entire fucking miles to the bus stop at the end of camp was because..."

Will flushes. "Because he's stupid, okay. He's actually unwell. I checked his brain and everything. If I leave him alone too long he'll get kidnapped, and then what?" He cocks a hip to one side, crossing his arms and tapping his foot and generally just looking like a carbon copy of his mother. Nico mourns his lack of camera. He needs to send Naomi another snapshot for the Wall of You Do Act Like Me, You Little Shit. "What am I gonna do if he dies, huh? Resort to off-brand Twizzlers? I'd rather kill myself."

The frayed ends of his laces cooperate, finally. He desperately needs new combats but the thought of having to break in a new pair makes him want to strangle the nearest karpoi. Any one of them would do.

Nico pushes himself to his feet, cupping both sides of his boyfriend's scowling face and pressing a gentle kiss to his lips, holding there until he feels them soften. He smiles, snickering at Will's huffy pout.

"I am doing one errand," he says, exasperated. "Just one."

Will throws his hands up. "You know who else did one errand?! Orpheus! That's right, dumbass, and he died! So!"

He waves his hands again, because obviously he cannot simply make his point with his words alone. Oh, no. His whole body needs to get involved, or else there is Not Enough Emphasis.

Gods, Nico loves him to death.

To death, and then some.

"You are more dramatic than your father," Nico says, kissing him again before pulling away. "You know that?"

"I thought you loved me," Will grumbles. "I thought you loved me, and then you go around saying such insulting things. Don't you love me? People who love me would never say that to me."

"I have actually heard that exact speech come from Apollo's mouth. Twice, at least."

"I'm about to commit a felony. It rhymes with shmassault and battery."

"Shut the fuck up," Nico says, but he's grinning. Will is scowling hard but doing a very bad job of it, and Nico can actually see the don't you dare fucking laugh you're mad at him you have to stay mad at him flashing around in his eyes.

Nico swipes his thumb gently over his freckled cheeks.

It does not take very long for him to cave.

"I'm just worried," he admits, sagging into Nico's hold. His head, as it always has, fits perfectly in the crook of Nico's neck. He presses a soft, lingering kiss to his temple.

"Knew it."

"Shut up." The quick curve of his exasperated smile twitches against Nico's collarbones. "I just mean. Gods above, Nico. It's all the way across the country."

"I shadow travelled all the way across the world, once," Nico reminds him. He runs a hand through fraying curls. "I was fourteen at the time."

"Yeah, and you almost fuckin' died."

Will pulls away, agitated, and Nico lets him. The fraying curls get worse with every tug of his twitching hands, and the sound of his own echoing pacing makes him jump. The bags are deep and black under his eyes.

Nico sighs.

"Will," he says, and words hard to keep the frustration out of his tone, "Will, sweetheart, you cleared me."

But Will isn't listening. The mumbling has started, and so has the fidgeting; the bandages around his arms twist, and twist, and tug, leaving red marks on his bruised wrists.

"Monitoring hymn," Nico hears him mutter. "Or a lifeline..."

Nico checks his watch. He's -- well, he's late, technically, but he's never been punctual even one time, so it's fine. He's got time. He flops to the marble floors, leaning against his bedpost. He watches his boyfriend, notes the flicker and flash of his glowing freckles, of his spattered burn scars.

You and I both know you will be fine, Chiron had said. He had sighed, long and aged and hard, and stared at his buzzing, fritzy student. It will be good for him. Exposure.

"Will," he calls, eventually. "Tesoro."

Will stops. He blinks, coming back to himself, to the cabin. He searches around, eyes settling on Nico's comfy spot on the floor.

He sighs, shoulders sagging. He presses the heels of his hands into his eyes. He stands there a long while, still except his breathing, tense.

"Everything is -- green," he says eventually, voice small. "I don't know how to stop it."

"You know how to make it worse," Nico points out, as gently as he can manage. "You've been spiraling for weeks."

"Not -- weeks."

"Since the start of the month."

"Yeah, only a few days."

"It's the thirtieth, Will."

He looks up, eyes wide. "No." He blinks. "Actually?"

Nico's smile is small and sad. "Yes."

"I thought -- I thought --"

"I know."

He doesn't really. He's watched it for years, but he doesn't -- understand, not in the way he understands the depression, the anger, the grief. He and Will have more things in common than they don't, but he doesn't spiral. Not like Will does. His pain has always bubbled and burst its way out of him, tingeing the edge of his vision red and igniting the curl of his fists. His pain has made him quick. His pain has made him quick, it has made him bitter, it has made him miserable, but it has always pushed him forward.

Will's pain gets curled up endlessly inside him, twisting his insides to knots.

It robs him, sometimes.

"Come here."

Will does. The fight has drained out of him, and there are tears in his eyes, even as he tries desperately to blink them away. His bandages lay limp at his sides, fluttering in the breeze from the still-open door.

"It's not that I don't trust you," he says, somewhat desperately. He turns so they're facing each other, criss-crossed knees knocking. "I do."

"I know," Nico says. He manages a small smile. "I always know that, Will."

"Good." His bright eyes soften in relief, fingers rubbing at his sternum. "You -- you're powerful, Death Boy. More than anyone I've ever known."

Nico raises his eyebrows. "Careful with that, Sunshine. You're going to get smited."

"Smote."

"Don't correct me when we're having a vulnerable moment."

"Don't need correcting, then."

Nico's smile widens. Will's, this time, matches, dimple flashing on his left cheek. Nico presses his thumb there, relishing in the sudden heat of Will's face and accompanying rolled, flustered eyes. He lingers, and stares, and stares, even as Will squirms, as the glow turns into something hotter than blood heat.

"I'm going to be okay, my love."

"I know."

"It's one jump. Hazel is waiting, unicorn draught at the ready in case I start swooning like a damsel."

"I know."

"Even my dad knows."

"I know."

"I would actually have to try to die, Will. Like there would have to be real effort on my part."

"Just --" he scrunches up his nose -- "I don't know what you could say that would make me less scared of it. Of losing you."

"I mean it would kind of suck if you did." He tilts their foreheads together, because it looks stupid as shit at this angle, and he knows Will'll laugh. He's right. "Since you love me and everything."

"I suppose it's one of those conditions," Will allows. "The whole caring if you up and die thing."

"Yep."

"S'a real pain in the ass."

"You're telling me. I was just fine being an emo loner, not giving a fuck about anything, and then you had to go ruin it. Now I gotta stress about your wellbeing and shit."

"Must be exhausting."

"Miserable." He reaches for Will's hands and squeezes, hard, until Will squeezes back. "It is the most important thing to me, though. Ever."

Will swallows. "Okay."

"I love you, Will Solace. Even when you are annoying about grammar and when you are prodding me about my iron levels and when you are so far in your head you're losing time." He pulls back slightly, just enough to press a kiss to Will's knuckles. "Especially then."

"I love you, too." Will swallows. "You'll be okay."

"I will."

"And you'll IM me when you get there."

"I will."

"And I'll be okay. Waiting."

Nico smiles softly. "You will be."

Will takes a deep breath. He nods. He stands, pulling them both up, and walks to the darkest corner of the Hades cabin, shoulders tense but face brave. He turns, exhaling slowly, and brushes invisible lint of Nico's shoulders, hands lingering.

"I will see you when you get back," he says.

"When I get back," Nico echoes. He kisses him again. "Worrier."

Will huffs, and Nico laughs, and he lets go, and Will lets him, and he steps into the familiar darkness, and the last thing he sees before the shadows envelope him is the trust in Will's light eyes.

[rbtlvr]

thinking about the fact that siffrin didnt even REALIZE he knew an actual wish craft ritual when he did it (didnt even know wish craft EXISTED at that point) so whos to say theres not many many more rituals they know instinctively but dont remember? whos to say he wont accidentally make another wish using a ritual they dont realize they know? whos to say he wont wish something horrible into existence without even meaning to?

[bogkeep]

thoughts, repeating.

[solargeist]

Btw with the mumbo leaving hermitcraft thing! He made a pinned comment on the video and said he is enjoying hermitcraft and doesn't plan to leave any time soon :)

LOL I wonder how many people originally commented for him to write that ? It’s so funny when Mumbo is accidentally ominous 😭