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Tallulah and Promises
Something I’ve always liked keeping an eye on and is so bittersweet about Tallulah’s character is her relationship with promises. I’m not quite sure when it became so intense, maybe it’s been there since the beginning, but Tallulah for a long time has had a unique relationship with making and keeping a promise.
I want to say that first and foremost, how she handles promises can be incredibly childish. Both because they can be nonsensical and “immature” AND because well, she’s a child. What kind of promise do you expect from a child?
A promise is everything to her, it’s a contract. Its words set in stone and written in the stars. A promise CANNOT be broken. Doesn’t matter who it is, a promise is a promise and you keep it. And it’s not all bad. Things like this can be reasonable right? She’ll get upset of course when someone makes a promise or when she can’t keep hers. She uses promises as a way to hold out hope. She uses them to keep herself and those around her accountable, so she has the assurance that they’ll do what they promised and she’ll do what she promised. That no matter what happens in the world, no matter what life throws at her, she can count on those promises.
So when someone breaks it, when she can’t live up to her promises, it shatters her world view.
And then the problems start to stack up, especially when we get into the realm of false promises, it starts becoming a mess. A mess of false hope. Because remember, to her, promises can be translated to hope (another big part of her character).
Gonna breeze pass through this one but she did make a promise when she first joined the island. A promise to someone, who never kept up his end of it, and she held on to it for MONTHS. For months that child held out her promise and repeatedly brought it up again and again that no matter what she was gonna be alive for when he came back and when he needed her. With not a sign of him returning that promise to her. And this promise was also hope. Hope she wasn’t gonna be left alone again, abandoned.
And that’s when we get into false promises. Because although Tallulah does value them a lot, she also asks for people to promise her things that sometimes cannot be done. There have been countless of times she has tried asking q!Phil to promise her something, but q!Phil has rarely ever promised her anything (with a handful of exceptions). He’s careful, he’s always very careful about what he promises to her because he doesn’t want to make a promise he can’t keep. And whenever he doesn’t promise her something, I feel like a part of Tallulah’s hope gets cracked. Because without a promise, how positive is she that q!Phil will keep his word? How hopeful can she really be that everything will be okay?
She hangs onto promises like a lifeline. They’re the one tether that can keep her hope afloat. And she remembers them, remembers her promises like a burn on her skin.
She’s done the same thing to q!Bad. Has asked if he could promise things, like promise that he wasn’t dying, but q!Bad never could. And when people can’t promise something, she has little hope that everything will be okay.
And some promises she asks for can be so… nonsensical. Promises we know, and I KNOW she knows, cannot be made. But she asks for them anyway. Because she’s a child. A child who just wants everything to be okay and wants her Papa Phil to promise that nothing bad will ever happen to him, to promise that he will never leave them, because she’s a terrified kid of being abandoned again and not having that reassurance, that solid ground, that things will be okay.
But q!Phil can’t promise that. And it aches.
One time she broke that barrier, she couldn’t take it anymore. She asked q!Bad to promise her something and he refused to. And afterwards she just told him to promise it to her even if it’s a lie. She full on broke that glass wall and was transparent.
Pinky promise to me you would not die
At least lie to me
And he did.
Because promises make her feel better. She holds onto them until she can’t, even if it is filled with lies. Because sometimes a child asks for a promise and they don’t expect the truth, they just expect comfort. Because it’s the only thing they can handle.
It’s so sad to watch her hold onto promises that she KNOWS deep in her heart can’t be kept. But still she wishes and she hopes and she believes in these lies as if they’re the only thing holding her up above ground.
Sometimes the promises she asks for can be unreasonable. She puts up a wall to protect herself because reality is scary, it’s terrifying. Tallulah values the truth like no other. She hates lies and she hates when people like q!Phil and Chayanne hide things from her. But when it comes to her dad potentially abandoning her, when it comes to him dying and leaving her, she’d rather believe everything will be okay than face the harsh reality of what’s going on.
And this topic has a lot of nuances I won’t get specifically into. It’s a blend of promises and lies and hope and truth. The lies the promises hold aren’t the same as someone straight up lying to her face and hiding things from her. It’s different instances of a lie.
Anyways, again, a lot of different things I can get into and definitions to go through BUT I will to say that it’s not wrong of her to want to believe everything will be okay. I’m an optimist at heart. ‘Hope’ to me is important and I think it isn’t wrong to have it even when things are looking down. But, something specifically for Tallulah is that alongside that hope, she also is terrified of reality (rightfully so) and tries to erase it by making a promise. And essentially, that’s not how the world works.
It’s such a childish way of thinking. You cannot erase the bad things from happening with a promise. And that’s what Tallulah sometimes does. If she makes q!Phil promise that he won’t leave her, then surely he won’t. That’s how promises work right?
Tallulah holds herself to these promises too. She does everything in her power to keep her word. When she doesn’t, when she breaks a promise she makes, she beats herself up for it.
That first promise she made? She broke it during purgatory and it broke her. It was one of the many accumulated reasons why she hated Purgatory island and everything associated with it. And when she broke that promise a piece of her hope broke with it.
Whenever Tallulah makes a promise to q!Phil she engraves it in her mind. She does everything in her power to keep it. And when she’s accused of breaking a promise, she panics and becomes defensive. She looks back into her mind to see if she ever DID make that promise and if she didn’t she starts defending herself. The conversation begins to shift from the actual issue to “no I never made that promise I didn’t promise you anything I didn’t break anything.” Because it’s SUPER important to her. The idea of breaking a promise is like a rock to glass. So she remembers the promises she makes.
Promises for Tallulah are a childish way for her to rewrite reality. But they’re also a way for her to have hope. There’s a balance when it comes to having hope and being able to see reality for what it is. And it’s something Tallulah struggles with. And I don’t blame her for it.
A child who cannot cope with reality will make pinky promises of clear skies and sunny days. A child who cannot handle the possibility of being abandoned again will make someone promise her to never leave even if she knows things are out of his control. Because in the mind of a child, a promise cannot be broken.
A promise is sealed. It’s a binding rope that should never give. So if Tallulah can make q!Phil promise her things, then that means he will never leave her, that means he will never hurt her. If Tallulah can make q!Bad promise her he won’t die then she can live in the lie that he will be okay. If she can promise to always be by her brothers side then surely they will never be separated again.
Because promise can’t be broken.
Right?
(Deep down inside, she knows).
#I can talk about this topic for ages#also not too happy with what#I wrote about lies and the truth#but in order to delve into that#I need 2 other tumblr posts#just know that at the end of the day#tallulah#still values the truth and hates lies#things are complicated though#people and likewise kids#are complicated#qsmp tallulah#qsmp#marv rants#ALSO LIKE#REMEMBER SHES A CHILD#ITS ALL FROM A CHILDISH POV#sometimes she can tell she’s being#unreasonable but she doesn’t care#and I think other times she full on#tried to really believe the promise#will help
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A Pragmatic and surprisingly comforting perspective about the Trump 2nd Presidency from the ACLU
***Apologies if this is how you found out the 2024 election results***
Blacked out part is my name.
I’m not going to let this make me give up. It’s disheartening, and today I will wallow, probably tomorrow too
AND
I will continue to do my part in my community to spread the activism and promote change for the world I want to live in. I want to change the world AND help with the dishes.
And I won’t let an orange pit stain be what stops me from trying to be better.
A link to donate to the ACLU if able and inclined. I know I am
#us politics#donald trump#election 2024#aclu#a promise to myself#how is this comforting you May ask#bc we are not fighting alone or uninformed#we have good and strong groups in our corners defending what we believe in#it’s not over yet#we have to try and pushback#added Alt image descriptions since this is leaving containment#happy to see many engaging with this to either donate time or money or both#really warms the cold heart of mine#wow this broke containment#overall it’s been pretty nice seeing people engaging with it ready to roll up their sleeves and get to work#they did the travel ban right at the beginning of the previous presidency too#also every major civil battle in the last century#brown V board of education- the one that desegregated schools#loving V Virginia- legalized interracial marriage#roe V wade- legalized abortion#United States V Nixon- watergate scandal WHICH LIMITED US PRESIDENTAL POWER#Edwards v. Aguillard- helped allow schools to teach evolution#Planned Parenthood v. Casey- another abortion case#ACLU v. NSA- to stop the NSA spying on wikipedia users#Ingersoll v. Arlene's Flowers- fought to stop LGBTQ discrimination from businesses#Obergefell v. Hodges- case that legalized gay marriage#literally WAY MORE GUYS#so don’t fall into dispair! these are literally one of the good ones!
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This isn’t Gregory and Cassie’s first meet in FNAF..
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#dave afton#evan afton#fnaf cassidy#fnaf cassie#gregory fnaf#roxanne wolf#Fredbear#security breach#fnaf 4#chat what if I cried?#LISTENNN I have a weak heart#the idea that Cassie/Gregory parallel Cassidy and David#I love the idea even if it’s doomed friendship#Cassidy alive moment too!!#I wanna believe so bad Dave and Cassidy were friends when they were living#I think that add sm to their story#I gotta draw all 4 of these guys more#I’m also super happy with how the lighting turned out 💜
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he did it! 🐍 and it only took...uhhh...well, there probably could've been less punches, but why hold back!
PUNCHES FOR EVERYONE
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 9 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 9 spoilers#snakes#ONE MORE DOWN#oh my god happy jamil was SO scary and yet adorable all at once#i want real jamil to see him and just be utterly disgusted#and yet he got nothing on the return of everyone's favorite twst character: WEIRD RHYTHMIC ELEPHANT#oh weird rhythmic elephant what would we do without you#me kicking my stupid little feet as jamil wakes up through sheer force of kalim though#he was SO happy for jamil and SO ready to just go along with everything. my sweet boy.#jamil getting so flustered by him that he's just shocked back into reality#and the SLAPFIGHT#silver being like 'they need this' and doing his one smile animation as kalim and jamil are pulling on each other's hair and going YOU SMEL#mmm yes delicious#also this is probably nothing but#but...they brought up the whole thing with azul having dirt on crowley again#the thing that was briefly alluded to in episode 4 and never mentioned ever again?!#i had JUST finally convinced myself that i was reading too much into it and it was just azul playing along with jamil's plan#but now they've mentioned it again and i'm going to be all BUT WHAT DOES IT MEEEEEAAAAN for another three years about it#is it a meaningless reference to that one scene?! is it absolutely ridiculous foreshadowing?! am i ever going to be validated?!#I HAVE TO KNOW
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You have 90 minutes to complete. (original poem: r.a.)
In participation of the MCYT Recursive Exchange 2024 hosted by @mcytrecursive!
Inspired by know that all my love will be your breath (i will save you when your lights go out)
[text under cut]
1. Have you ever been in love? (Please circle your answer.) a. It's me and him b. Our hearts beat in sync c. Our lives intertwined
2. Do you understand what you’ve done? (Please circle your answer.) a. I couldn't do anything b. I lost my balance c. I doomed us both
3. It's been god knows how long since you felt phantom hands on your neck and there is no one in sight. If you were soul-bound to him and both of you died at the same time then why are you still waiting in the void? Please answer clearly, in full sentences. (Not a correct answer:I just wanted to see him one more time).
4. Define two (2): Fate | The feeling of his forehead against yours Curse | The moment you realise he isn't linked to you anymore
5. True or False: i. It was your fault. ii. You wish you had met him under different circumstances. iii. You can’t regret a single moment that you had him. iv. You would do it all over again if you could. v. It ended long before either of you said anything.
thumbnails:
sketch cover thing for imgur link:
#team ranchers#team rancher#rancher duo#jimmy solidarity#tangotek#trafficshipping#mcyt recursive exchange#events#fic fanart#my art#“canary has butterfly-shaped wings it cant do a dramatic spread like that” watch me. (draws dramatic wings) (sorry)#“you have 90 minutes” have been rattling in my brain for so long ever since i suddenly remembering a web weave using it (yes the beeduo one#very glad i can release it (using it in art) from its confines (my mind)#hm i suppose the title would be more in theme if its abt limited life ranchers#← havnt watched limlife yet#but! happy with what i come up with. lil bit proud even#had so much trouble with the panelling and layers in p2 cause it looks too busy (explodes)#also punching the floor bc i only noticed the “yes-no” pair(?) in the original poem when im already half-done w/ the comic#me when making silly comic makes you do poem analysis#i dont even go there ← does not have enough poetic braincells
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Legend tells of the carp that leapt over the Dragon Gate at the crest of a river and became a stand up comedian.
#also toyed with calling this comic riddle of the sphinx#but that had a little too much reference already associated with it#comic#comics#sphinx#dragon#ive been thinking so much about humor as related to the tortured artist and comedians and poets as sad artists etc etc#and how often that can be true but how this predominant cultural vision pigeonholes comedy as a low art or even just one you have to just#'be talented' at intrinsically. or even 'be sad enough' to be good at#instead of a craft you hone and an artform itself#this comic isnt exactly about that.#but it's related#it's more about... two very different kinds of people. but who are the same kind of artist#if that makes sense#and literally being scared of what you want#art tag#sequential art#personal comic#quite happy with how this one turned out. im excited to have made it i feel like its really different than my usual comics
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They're just bobbing there.... MENACINGLY!
#normal beetle art#3d render#3d model#sun fnaf#moon fnaf#fnaf dca#daycare attendant fnaf#fnaf sundrop#fnaf moondrop#not too happy with the normals but they look fine in vrchat so its whatever#i based the faces off of whats on the pickup pass!!#also my girst proper 3d renders!! woo!!#still learning about nodes in blender... confusing...
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Zorella, the centaur pop queen ✨
Thank you to everyone who helped me by voting on her final design in the poll from last week! I'm so so so happy with how she turned out 🥰
#I imagine her music sounds something like a happy medium between Sza and Ashnikko :3#but maybe more EDM#her style is very raver girl so it fits#it was pretty funny designing basically a lingerie harness for a horse body LMAO#that was actually what inspired her design#I was thinkin about how it would be cool to try to combine strappy harness-y raver girl fashion with horse tack#I'm deffo gonna draw her more bc I already have so many fashion ideas for her#also I've realized that I rly love doing graffiti designs lol I got carried away with her name#it probs distracts the eye too much in the composition but w/e it was fun 😂#my art#character design#original character#OC#centaur#OCs#eye strain
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theyre soft your honour
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#okkotsu yuuta#inumaki toge#inuokko#inumaki#yuuta#fanart#jjk fanart#timelapse#long time no canon fits !!!#still having the time of my life playing with these brushes#i was just gna do a regular draws to slap on the ask i just got but i decided 2 record it last minute fgdgd#didnt know if an mp4 file would cooperate if i tried to put it under an ask so i played it safe#but know this is fr u anon <3#i ..... cannot believe i am continuing my streak from last night of Forgetting very key and very obvious design elements#last night it was yuuij's sukuna scars.... today it is inumaki's tattoos.......#smh im Slipping fr#breaking news tumblr user hinamie fake jjk fan And fake fanartist :C#its ok tho ! crisis averted!! me forgetting them may be caught in 4k but i Did catch myself before posting th video#that would have been tragic i would have been chased out of this fandom with pitchforks. i wld have been pelted with rocks#anyway i like this piece a lot i like them i like the black/white/blue#VERY happy i got yuuta's hair right without too much hassel#turns out i know how to draw and references r a godsend <3#oh also !!! @ the person who asked about my colouring process this is what i was talking abt re: painting with an underpaint layer#helps everything look cohesive :3
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🏹🐦💘 happy holidays from your favorite super-heroes!! 💘
(i am not late today is the 25th everyone please shh)
fanart inspired from @kitsuneisi and @xmaruu11 's DDVAU! my brain is so rotten with these two silly gooses...
#artwork#artists on tumblr#drawing#digital art#hermitcraft#<- i'm only using that tag so my blog can be tagged properly#happy holidays!!#brain... so rotten... it's all... too sweet...#i think this is a grand time to say i have learned i like drawing wings#what will i do with this information? who knows#also if anyone is reading this my commissions are open i am so very poor pls n thx
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Hey hey hey may 31th anon! How's 2024 going? ☆ヾ(*´▽`)ノ This year I have for you a leaked Sherlock season 5 image. Thinking of you!! And everyone!!
#may 31th anon#Hello hello hello friends!! How are you!!#I miss you all I miss tumblr I miss drawing these silly men#work was soooo boring today I was really happy that I got to draw John in a baby carrier afterwards (*´︶`*)#what have you been up to??#my job is very boring most of the time unfortunatly!! I want to have a new job a little bit but I also never want to have a job interview#ever again and also I might get a lamp this year (!) I have heard that someone has already printed out the lamp form#are you excited for good omens season 3??#I am!! I have also been watching a lot of x-files#(*´▽`*) we also have moths in the kitchen#I do not know what they are eating we have been storing all of our food in the fridge since last week but new moths keep coming#yesterday one flew out of the forks and spoon drawer#it's her kitchen now#I also got a mole removed#now instead of the mole I have a scar the exact same size an color of the mole#I have also been working on a longer comic project!! I think it will be ready to be shared this summer and I really hope you will like it#it's about the old dragon bros characters and their life with the princesses (◍•ᴗ•◍)❤#I'm having a lot of fun drawing again!!#I hope you're having fun too#also I had to write an email today and I had to attach a pdf file but it was upside down#I could not fix it#I just hit send
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what if i was devoted to you as a knight is to his king and became your right hand and sword and i was ready to lay my life for you and your dreams
what if i was devoted to you as a dog is to his owner and i would attack and maul anyone who dared to touch you but i’d also bite and claw you if you ever tried to leave me
what if
#I HAVE TOO MANY THOUGHTS!!!!#tbh naruto is also devoted as a knight to sasuke as well but the type of knight devoted to rescue a prince(ss) type of tale and i know thats#not what the original post was going at there#meanwhile brt!sasuke…. he truly riding that head of the state in all the way including the political ones his clan would be ashamed but#whatever makes my prince happy ig#silly shonen boys#mine#narusasu#sasunaru#sns
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Mando dads!au
or I’m convinced Cody would have been such a good dad and Cal would have been an amazing big brother that would have healed with Obi-wan in his life and then eventually called Cody buir by accident bc the twins do
#m art#clone wars#star wars clone wars#codywan#What is this concistency of which u speak of#anyway their clan colours are cream and orange/yellow 212th gold#and i lv how this turned out a lil like a childrens book#let cody b a buir 2024#obi wan is there too i swear by im biased and also ngl i have a pallet for painting clones#so i dont have to mix skin tones i can just grab and let me tell u when it tok me so long to find tones i was happy#it took me so long and im still not happy with them but here we r
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(almost) four years in, and I finally had time to draw something for the anniversary! woo! 🎉🎉🎉
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#because i need to talk for a minute about how the plot of the anniversary story so far is literally just#crowley jumpscares us in our living room to demand we make him lunch and yuu is just like 'i need to start locking the door'#oh twst you always know just how to get me#the qol updates though! CONVERTING SINGLE KEYS INTO 10-SETS YES THANK YOU OH MY GOD#SKIP LESSON TICKETS!!!!#3X BATTLE SPEED!!!!!!!!!!!!#SAVE TEAM BUILDS AND SUPPORT CARDS FINALLY AHHHHH#oh and some other stuff too but look i NEEDED these things#also master chef grim! he's so precious!#though he's not going to get a little sporty uniform after all?#grim canonically flies in the nude i guess#no it's okay chef grim is ADORABLE#if you zoom in on his card you can see little smoodges from his inexpert cake decoration 😭#which on the one hand is cute but on the other hand i'd been convinced he'd just slapped some frosting and candles on an actual can of tuna#anyway happy (a few days until the) fourth anniversary everybody!#i've been here since the beginning (preregistered during the dorm reveals babyyyy) and it REALLY doesn't feel like it's been four years#you know what they say: time flies when you're watching anime characters have emotional problems
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Last part for old GF sketches
(Actually, most of these aren't old at all, but their average is brought down by the last picture, which I drew back in August and kept forgetting to post)
#fanart#drawing#gravity falls#stanford pines#stanley pines#i wish more people talked about Ford's piano skills#and his shadow puppet skills#i forgot what i was thinking when i rushed these out#something about Ford only taking pride in his skills because of how other people (ie Stanley) appreciate them#and how he attributes everything exceptional about himself to his hands bc that's where his deepest insecurities/motivations come from#but that isn't something Stan or most people think about at all#but he also IS really talented#and so he gets this big fragile ego#stemming from his mother and brother's praise#but also filbrick's neglect#so it's like outside validation is a substitute/reminder of the people that really loved him#bht also he thinks he's different from them and better than them#but he does love them#and he likes making them proud because he likes seeing them happy#maybe he doesn't know how else to make people happy#something something#Stan being his biggest supporter is a double edged sword#because his opinion matters the most and then he's gone#and Ford doesnt have anyone to show off to anymore#OR anyone who can call him a showoff when he gets too into his own head#OR the person he was pitted against in the first place that made him feel special#because- knowingly or not- they always compared themselves#idk man#Ford is an interesting guy and his head fascinates me
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Who's gonna tell him......... The Sequel
#clangen#clan generator#warriors oc#warrior cats#sporeclan#this one is TEXT HEAVY. apologies in advance. but that does also come with two big moments#yall would not believe how excited ive been for oscypek. my poor precious little guy </3#and lets not forget puddle ultra ominous moments too!!!!!!#i wonder what he knows ;)#sc moons#sc:fadedtuft#sc:rosemarykit#sc:strawkit#sc:greenkit#sc:soltalon#sc:lizardkit#sc:oscypek#sc:piperdapple#sc:spottedfrost#sc:puddle#sc:mousegrove#sc:pachirisu#i'm excited to see what everyone has to say about this page :] i'm pretty happy with how it turned out
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