#also it probably was the Second Time Trauma
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Finally seeing Bells Hells/c3 biggest fans and supporters after 3 years saying, "Some of you are so afraid to criticise CR that you end making other people feel like shit for voicing their valid criticism. We are allowed to complain about media that we’ve invested so much time on and paying for 😐". Its ironic because JUST last week everything was perfect. Or c3 is perfect but all the other parties, breaks etc. Im like that IS c3. The Villian is fr MN and the party is tied to VM. C3 is all party
going to give the mean and sarcastic answer (not to you, to the people you're talking about) and then the thoughtful one because I think both are important to voice here
mean sarcastic answer is "actually Matt was homeless once so I can't believe you're resorting to leftist infighting and criticizing him like that? You can't criticize anything involving Bells Hells because all of the characters are queer and also Beau is a brown lesbian so it's really racist of you to be upset that she showed up in the charity one-shot and most of the Mighty Nein and Vox Machina have trauma so it's actually really problematic of you to be mad that they're showing up in the wrap-up? smh C3 fans are just mad this isn't The Bells Hells Search For Their Neighbor's Missing Cat In The Alps show."
The serious answer really is that like, yeah, this campaign has been The Moon Plot And Past Parties campaign the entire time. I'm not going to link my entire blog here but my archive is extensive and if you were to cross-reference my opinions over the course of the campaign you could see that I (and my many other allegedly evil Campaign 2 stan pals with which this fandom is crawling, as if we are apparently the invasive species here and not the bears in whose neighborhoods you built a cul de sac and tried to shoo out) started out with high hopes for a third campaign on the heels of two excellent prior ones. Our disappointment is that at every turn we had to lower our bar; forgive me if, after a campaign in which every time anyone else said "wow, fucked up that they yanked away the football, that's disappointing" you harassed and mocked us, no one has any sympathy when the campaign ends at, frankly, a not unsurprising place for it to end. It's openly been called the Avengers Assemble campaign by the cast. Like, actually, almost everyone else had the opinion of "I wish this campaign focused primarily on Bells Hells"/"I wish this campaign were more rooted in Marquet" from, frankly, the second that Vox Machina appeared if not earlier, and that's when a lot of the people currently melting down started watching. I have been here so long that the people sending me anon hate have had full turnover. And yeah, just last week everything was all going to turn out okay, and it's like while it's fair to have had more hope for the campaign around episode 50, if you're in the endgame and nothing's clicking, I think it's okay to say "well, I'll see this through to the end but here are the many failures of this campaign over all".
I think it's extremely valid if, when the people lobbied every insult and accusation they could think of at you when you criticized the campaign or any of its characters before 9:00 AM Pacific Time on Thursday, January 30th, 2025, suddenly find themselves realizing that yeah, this campaign has a track record of jumping around to other parties when Bells Hells should probably have been in focus, and that the character arcs were mostly cut short in favor of the singular moon plot and it's virtually impossible to end in a way that is entirely satisfying, though the world state will probably be intriguing and the characters will probably get some blandly happy endings in between cuts to Vox Machina and the Mighty Nein; one's reaction isn't "oh, you poor thing" but rather "We told you so." The party may have fucked around and never really found out. I will have to take my satisfaction that (as multiple mutuals who have seen this all unfold pointed out) the people who have used their fandom of this campaign to throw rocks at anyone they didn't like and feel morally righteous in doing so are reaping what they sowed. I have no control over the outcome of the end of this campaign but I can certainly control whether I have any sympathy for those who are reeling from a revelation most of us figured out months ago, and they've been so consistently awful to everyone else at every turn that I cannot say I do.
I think it's valid to criticize Critical Role. I've been doing so all campaign. I was against toxic positivity in the fandom during Campaign 2, and while I'm not entirely proud of everything I've done and said this campaign, at least I feel secure in never demanding anything from others I did not practice myself. If the fandom is better during a hypothetical Campaign 4 I think it will be in part because hopefully a C4 party won't be as much of an attraction for that kind of dish-it-out-and-never-take-it loser Bells Hells appealed to; and because hopefully those same losers will have either left, or learned a bitter lesson for whom they have only themselves to blame.
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Saw your post about Marcus and Caitlyn on the bridge and it made me think about how that could have influenced her choices when she formed her strike team in 2x01.
Because that team consisted of:
Steb, who has medical training and the only time we see him use a rifle is in the finale battle
Maddie, a "junior officer", so probably hasn't been an enforcer for long
Loris, who we don't even know if he actually was an enforcer before the stike team (unless someone has confirmed this)
and Vi (no explanation needed there)
Because not only did Marcus, her former boss who was also her former mentor's second-in-command, shoot Ekko and point a gun at her, but the squad of Enforcers behind him didn't even flinch or move to stop him.
Caitlyn was a Councillor's daughter, and they would have let Marcus kill her on Silco's orders and cover it up without batting an eye. On top of that, she used to work with these people too! (hell, her "firing" was so recent it's possible they didnt even know she wasnt an enforcer anymore) She's realized that the rot goes all the way to the top, so how could she trust anyone within the Enforcers to not turn on her?
Like, we all talk about the trauma Jinx put her through, but I haven't seen much on how much of what happened on the bridge before the explosion would have affected her. Because the Enforcers are (supposed to be) protectors. But now she has to contend with the fact that most Enforcers treat the undercity like shit, and she has no idea which ones/how many are actually in the pocket of crimelords.
What are your thoughts on this?
Oh man this is all excellent and something I had not even really looked at.
Regarding the strike team all I had ever really considered was those individuals had fought beside her during the memorial attack but your point makes complete sense. People who barely knew her, not entrenched Enforcers fought by her side without a moments hesitation and helped save the other councilors. She would have been totally unable to trust those more experienced Enforcers after what happened on the bridge, but these people proved themselves in a moment when they didn't have to.
And yea I agree. I know there was SO MUCH going on that played into her falling prey to Ambessa's plans, but there had to be some part of her that thought "my people deserve safety and peace, and I cannot trust the people in charge anymore to deliver it".
Thank you for sharing this! I really appreciate it.
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Rubies - Encounter
the thing i just said i would write >:)
set later into rubies
(Content: living weapon whumpee, whumpee-turned-caretaker?, bad caretaker, multiple whumpees, verbal abuse, conditioning, blood, past trauma, comfort)
LEVON: I wish you’d told me you were tagging along! I would have given you a heads-up. DELTA: thats okay DELTA: it doesnt really bother me DELTA: its nothing i havent seen before LEVON: Yes I’m sure. LEVON: Nevertheless I thought you would appreciate the warning. DELTA: eh
LEVON: I notice this is becoming a bit of a pet project of yours. LEVON: I would have passed more information along to you if I’d known you were interested. In fact I considered doing so in the beginning. LEVON: I was worried you would feel tokenized by it. LEVON: Also to be perfectly honest with you I would prefer that you stay out of imperial territory. DELTA: i think i actually would have felt a bit tokenized by it in the beginning tbh that was probably a good call DELTA: its different if im doing it on my own time DELTA: im sorry i hope you dont think im ignoring your orders by coming here LEVON: They weren’t formal orders. DELTA: i know but still i dont want to come off as disrespectful for it DELTA: i do value your advice i dont mean to blow you off LEVON: Delta, it’s fine. DELTA: okay cool LEVON: It’s going well, then? DELTA: yeah there was only one of them and no one was expecting her to be here clearly DELTA: im not with her right now though im with kitty we are in the server room LEVON: Okay. I’m getting word that there are a few patrollers already orbiting close by, so I’d suggest you wrap it up quick. DELTA: yeah we are finishing up now LEVON: Be careful. DELTA: yessir LEVON: Goodbye. DELTA: bye captain
Kitty looped up another loose cable, one more fire hazard. Delta slipped the phone back into the pocket of his pants. His other hand extended to her to help her up to her feet.
From below, another loud crash.
“Sounds like it’s working.” Kitty’s eyes lit up.
They walk down the bloodstained steps. Most of the place had already been cleared out by the time they arrived. The two of them are almost never at any active sight. Third wave, maybe second wave, if anything. Kitty was IT. Delta did a little bit of everything now, but was too valuable as a psychic to ever endanger with capture.
He was only the second psychic to enter the manor. The first was downstairs, doing everything she could to destroy what was around her. As they descended back to the first floor, they saw the mess she had made of things.
“Get away,” she said, “Get away. Get away.”
The silver collar glistened around her neck. The same light shone just by her eyes, reflected from the tears that were forming there.
Infantry was the one to deal with her — they were being surprisingly gentle about it.
“Easy. Easy, I know you’re scared,” a sniper of all people promised her, both hands raised in a placating surrender. “Let’s all slow down. We won’t hurt you.”
“No!” she shouted back. She was crying in earnest now.
“We’re going to get you help, okay? But we need to go now.”
“I don’t want to go! I can’t!”
In that exact instant, Delta noticed that her collar was broken in places. It was malfunctioning. Her powers were slipping through the cracks.
“Get away from me!” Her voice was shrill, pitched with panic. “Stay back or I’ll - I’ll-“
As she said it, a little halo of crystals was forming in a blaze right by her head. It was a crown of glass. In the space above her, the shards appeared out of thin air.
Kitty stepped forwardly slightly. It did something to him then, to hear her slip back into sweetness. The words had the same gentle tone that she’d used for him when they’d first dredged him up out of the water. When he was scared.
“It’s okay,” she promised. “You’re safe. No one is going to hurt you. We want to help, okay? Just wanna help.”
“Leave me alone!” the girl yelled back. In the same instant, her right hand cut an arc through the air.
The glass flew like shrapnel. They were small pieces, but hard and razor sharp. She managed to pierce quite a few of them. But what Delta saw most precisely was the shard that flew only inches from Kitty’s face. Just barely missing her.
It was mostly adrenaline that moved him then; his heart was beating too quickly for him to make sense of it. But in the next second, he’d zeroed in on the psychic.
The pulse knocked her back into the wall. It didn’t hurt — he knew exactly how to make it hurt and he didn’t — but it had shocked her. He caught her wrist, pinning it there. The hands were conduits. Though it was still possible to use their powers without moving an inch, the immobility gave the impression of helplessness. That’d be enough for now.
“Stop.”
She went still, but there was tension rigged in every inch of her body.
“You do not use your powers without permission.” His voice was low, more venomous than he meant it to be. “That is the first thing they teach you and there is no excuse for having forgotten it.”
She shrank away from that. They were sensitive to scolding — every single one of them.
“Sorry,” she whispered. She flexed her fingers where they were held. Little shards of glass were still raining softly from the ceiling.
“Listen to me. We are leaving. It doesn’t matter if you want to or not. You’re not going to fight them. And you’re going to do as they ask. Do you understand?”
“Yes, sir.”
“You do? You’re going to behave yourself? Because you can just as easily leave here in chains if you don’t.”
“Yes, sir,” she swallowed. She refused to look at him.
It was an acceptable surrender. He released her wrist, but not before wrenching it in the same direction that the others were waiting. He pointed.
“Go.”
She went obediently. One of the medics hovered their hands by her shoulder, not quite touching, but guiding her over to the exit.
There were little indentations in her skin where his claws had been.
He’d cowed her. Delta sat there for a second, alight in the afterglow of cruelty. It hadn’t felt good, but alarmingly enough, it had felt natural. Maybe he shouldn’t have been surprised. He’d learned from the best, after all.
The thought made him sick.
Kitty was staring at him. A couple of them were. He knew before he even turned around.
Sorry you had to see that, he almost said. But that seemed a bit inadequate, all things considered. He said nothing instead. Already, he felt a blush rising to his cheeks.
He moved to her, side-stepping carefully around the littered glass. Kitty still looped her arm in through his own. She didn’t hate him for it, which would have been about the worst thing he could imagine.
“That was kinda fucked up,” she whispered to him as soon as they’d climbed onto the carrier.
“Fucked up of me?” he asked.
“Yeah, a little fucked up of you!”
Delta nodded. He’d assumed that was what she meant.
“She’ll be fine,” he exhaled. “Believe me, she’s more than used to it.”
“They really talked to you like that?” Kitty frowned.
Ungrateful. Disrespectful. Brat. Don’t you ever-
Delta bit his lip, nodding. Used to it. He traced the skin around his collar with the tips of his fingers.
“I don’t care if she hates me,” he decided. “As long as she’s out. Of all the things she has to get over, she’ll barely remember this one.”
Something about that didn’t sit right, though.
~
Worse than cruelty was unpredictability. He worried about playing the same games that Simon had — pulling rank one second and coddling the next. It was a mean thing to do. He thought it’d be better if he just never saw her again. The ones looking out for her now could teach her in their own time. He wouldn’t further disrupt their signals.
This resolution, once he came to it, barely lasted the length of an hour.
“Can I see her?” he peeked into the quarters where they kept her.
The girl sat idly on the edge of the bed, both hands folded in her lap just the way she’d been trained to. Her hair had come undone — and now furled into spirals at the base of her neck. She’d gone dead-eyed. That was exactly how they wanted them.
She still startled when he entered.
“Sorry,” she said without hesitation, with no conscious effort. “I’m sorry, sir.”
He used to think he was good at apologizing, after a lifetime spent groveling for forgiveness. It had been such a difficult day when he first realized that that wasn’t what anyone wanted from him anymore.
“Easy. Hey.” He raised both hands up slightly in surrender. “Not gonna hurt you. No one’s going to hurt you. You’re okay.”
The look she gave him in return suggested she did not — could not — believe him. Fair. She was less than one day out, after all. He didn’t even bother to correct her on the honorific. If she was anything like him, it would take years to undo the habit.
Her chest rose and fell without her eyes ever leaving him, like an animal backed into a corner. He moved slowly for her sake, lowering himself until he sat cross-legged on the Persian carpet.
He thought he was good at apologies once, before he knew what they were supposed to be. By now, he was good in earnest. He’d been a fast learner all his life — and pride was something he’d never been afforded.
“I’m sorry for speaking to you like that. It won’t happen again. No one here will ever speak to you like that. I only did it because we were short on time and we wanted to get you somewhere safe. I’m sorry if I scared you.”
His hands moved nervously against his sleeves. He almost stopped them, before remembering he didn’t have to. When he looked up, she was still staring unblinking. Her jaw has loosened a bit.
No one had apologized to her in a very long time. She had no script to follow for it. So when she said something completely unrelated, it came as no real surprise:
“What are you going to do with me, sir?”
There was something like betrayal in her voice. That hurt most of all.
“You’re like me,” she realized.
For some reason, this almost embarrassed him. In Galatea, his abilities are mostly rumors. Even the ones who knew for certain still assumed he was low-level. There were only a handful who knew the full extent of it. But for the most part, psychics recognized their own.
“I came the same way,” he said softly. “This was a rescue. You haven’t been stolen. It’s okay if you don’t believe that right now. But you’re free. Only rule is that you can’t hurt anyone while you’re here — everyone follows that one, not just you.”
“I wouldn’t-“ she said hurriedly. “I wouldn’t, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to, sir. Please.”
“It’s okay. You’re not going to be punished for it,” he said. “I’m not mad at you. No one is.”
Just scared, for a second. Scared of her, just like they’d been of him. The fear is what drove people crazy, what made them decide it was right to keep them in chains all his life. She was scared out of her mind, too. But no one ever cared about that.
“You’re safe,” he promised. “I know it doesn’t feel like it. I didn’t feel like it as first either — and I know I just made you feel unsafe. But it won’t happen again. No one will ever treat you like that again.”
“…Yes, sir,” she agreed, looking down at her own shoes.
It wasn’t sinking in all the way. He didn’t sigh, even though he wanted to. He couldn’t believe how patient Kitty and Apollo had been with him in those early days. He’d never be grateful enough. He’d never be good like them, not really. All he could do was try.
“Tell them if you need anything,” he suggested. “It’s not a trick question. They’ll get it for you if they can. And they won’t punish you for asking.”
“Yes, sir.” She nodded.
Poor kid, he thought dimly. The thought surprised him. He’d never thought anything of it before, when he’d been in her position. It all just felt normal. The way he was meant to behave. It was only after years of living outside of it that he could see it for what it was.
He stood up wearily from his spot on the ground. She flinched a bit as he did, but he knew he shouldn’t take it personally.
“You can sleep too, by the way,” he reminded her. “You don’t need to ask permission.”
“Thank you, sir,” she said. There was actual relief in her voice when she answered that time. She’d been waiting to hear it.
~
The first thing he did after closing the door was go to find Kitty. She’d been curled up by the bay windows when he finally spotted her. He climbed onto the cushion next to her. She was peering at him from over the edge of her laptop screen.
“All good?” she purred.
“She’ll be fine.” He nodded. As fine as any of them could be. He really did think that his own cruelty towards her would only scrape the surface of all that she would have to recover from. But that wasn’t an excuse.
“Thank you for being kind to me,” he said softly. It sounded almost childlike now. But it was far from the first time he’d said it. “Even when I was being difficult. You were always nice.”
“You were never difficult!” Kitty gasped. “What are you talking about? You’re my favorite.”
That alone would’ve been enough to make him cry last year. Even now, he got close.
~~~
tags:
@catnykit @snakebites-and-ink @scoundrelwithboba @whatwhump
@pumpkin-spice-whump @deluxewhump @fuckass1000 @fuckcapitalismasshole @defire
@micechomper @writereleaserepeat @aloafofbreadwithanxiety @floral-comet-whump @littlebookworm69
@lordcatwich @human-123-person @paperprinxe @whomeidontknowthem @chiswhumpcorner
@bacillusinfection @ichortwine @whump-queen @lumpywhump
@jumpywhumpywriter @sir-fenris
#whump#whump scenario#whump prompt#whump writing#living weapon whumpee#whump community#whumpee-turned-caretaker#bad caretaker#multiple whumpees#verbal abuse#conditioning#blood#past trauma#comfort#feel like delta being mean needs its own warning omg so jarring#also sorry some of the formatting on the color text is weird idgaf
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Here's a WIP of my notes on how to characterize tr!Phil. :) I can elaborate on any points if need be! Eventually this will be turned into a full-on analysis post that elaborates anyway.
Obviously I'm gonna update this list every time a) something that's already been established comes back to mind (not much considering man's is all log) and b) as Phil plays on The Realm more.
REMINDER: ccPhil is NOT doing lore on The Realm. This post is for people who want to make fan content for him like fics or headcanons. And for help including him accurately in other people's lore, like Sneeg's. And here is a helpful post elaborating on ccPhil's SMP roleplay/lore making process.
Additionally, to at least MENTION the fan theories/headcanons about tr!Phil in reference to the Philza Cinematic Universe(tm) since it'll probably have a huge influence on how people write tr!Phil—
There's 3 "possibilities" for who tr!Phil is:
tr!Phil is his own guy
tr!Phil is o!Phil reincarnated
tr!Phil is "main" (hc/smpe/c/q)!Phil
Here's a reference post for how the "Philverse" works!
Anyway, to elaborate on those 3 theories:
First one's self-explanatory.
Second one originates from the way that tr!Phil is very "fuck everyone and everything except tr!Sneeg, that's my friend," and some other similarities in personality and behavior that tr!Phil shares with o!Phil, like his expensive tastes and love for looting. The bit about him being reincarnated comes from the way Phil says (/j? /hj? /srs???) that o!Phil is dead.
And the third one I'm gonna explain in more detail below:
I'm personally rolling with the theory that this is "main" Phil BUT I love the o!Phil theory/headcanon too and would be happy if Phil changed his mind and did intentional lore that confirmed either of these.
His (albeit ooc, since he's not intentionally rping) refusal to join the factions is an aversion from suffering through Purgatory, and his even more intense refusal to have a snail is from the trauma of losing Chayanne and Lullah.
He came to The Realm (per Tubbo/Sneeg/Fit's pleading) to recover from the heartache QSMP inflicted upon him while also seeing his friends again, since being alone in the Hardcore World hasn't been the easiest after spending a year and a bit almost never alone.
I go a little more insane about this in this post here.
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thank you for indulging my curiosity about the subject! also, the songs are a blast 🫀
(the latter song reminds me of scheming with my little sister)
I agree that this is fascinating!
about ADHD and boredom — from what information I have (and that includes info that someone somehow tested dopamine levels of ADHDers who were made to wait like a few hours for the testing to get done, and apparently there was a rapid drop and by the end of it they had it comparable or lower to the lowest percentile of depression patients) — it's only called boredom because it's felt in situations which everyone insists are boring — but the actual experience is probably closer to sensory deprivation / dread. ....and now I have further guesses that would be unethical to test on purpose, so maybe it's better if my curiosity about it ain't sated.
(I did get myself bored on purpose, tho — what can I say, I'm like terminally curious (when not too burnt out), I have limited self-preservation, and it couldn't possibly be worse than electric surprise showers. or the time when I was curious what was going to happen if I didn't get REM sleep and caused myself to hallucinate a little.)
(the self-preservation does go a little funky when very necessary repeating life things like e.g. eating feel like torture, because of the boredom, doesn't it?)
I can't speak for ASPD because I personally even don't know (or don't know that I know) anyone who would have that experience without accompanying ADHD.
if we are comparing masking, I don't have the experience of dividing it by disorders so clearly. my own masking wasn't even focused on appearing more normal, I couldn't do that. instead I performed a calming, entertaining, very low maintenance presence. — and for that purpose, I masked some divergent and expected traits alike.
I'm fascinated with what you're saying about memory. most people's memories don't start that young, so I never before found anyone to compare this with — and it's the first time I've heard of this kind of memory shift. my own memory mechanism shifted a little differently (but also, the way my memory works has always been and continues to be kinda weird) — I have some static impressions from before, and then starting from the age of 3yo, before I could speak, some of my memories gain continuity (movement, action).
I'm not sure if that early start of my memories has anything to do with trauma. my first proper memory is simply full of frustration as I could not communicate what I needed to, that with knowing only like ten words, and the only relevant word there being "no". my second proper memory happens shortly after, and it's a time when my older sister almost accidentally threw me down a staircase, while she was panicking.
at first I memory-saved everything, but like a few years in — I had to consciously choose to throw out the specific wording of overheard conversations because I ran out of space and the new memories weren't saving anymore until after I made space for them 😅
thanks to you, I've realised that I'm not claustrophobic at all and more agoraphobic than I thought. I used to think that agoraphobia was only relevant for situations like e.g. when I scaled a building and held the rooftop for my dear life because it was incredibly disconcerting to have nothing but sky above me. — and yet it turns out that agoraphobia alone explains the core of my aversion to driving a car (traffic jams), as opposed to a bike (lets me leave the road at any time) or public transport (and its emergency exits) — (for some context, I live in Europe; there's no place without a village or town within a walking distance; I can and I have jumped outta train and walked the rest of the way, when it stopped moving forward) — I'm learning 👀💚
trapped in a corn maze again?? sounds like a terrible experience
having fun in order to cope reminds me of a different character from a different universe — someone who went all theatre kid on the third several years long research mission without break, after being the sole survivor of two previous ones >:3
about biases, I'm just a weirdo with a burning need to figure these things out consciously, so that I can identify the utmost minimum that I need to partake in, so that they can be played, learned, and improved upon — and you've just pointed at some problems with this that I'm trying to find a way to solve. (it's rare that I get to talk about these observations because people usually freak out about anyone approaching these things consciously 🤔)
about the definition of an abusive relationship — just because something may be dysfunctional rather than abusive - doesn't make it any better, any easier to experience. it's not a moral judgement from me, I'm simply trying to use accurate words as I know them — and I'm open to corrections on my vocabulary if they aren't — and yeah, as far as I can tell - the types of abuse apply even when the term abusive relationship does not. like, if one googles them somewhere online that's still applicable framing. 🤔
about intention based bias, I'm nodding along. you're describing it better than I could, not just here but also in other posts.
about physical and emotional pain, i've heard it a lot, that emotional is worse than physical. I'm absolutely no authority on this — I don't even feel pain like most people do, due to some genetic mutation that lowers the inflammation response, or something. so my subjective comparison wouldn't be relevant to general human experience.
that surgery sounds traumatic and horrible. I wish no one had to go through that.
Lets look at aspd from a neurodivergence sense for the amazing digitial circus as well as some other disorders (all for fun) And which personality disorders fit some of the cast
Aspd got that
Not valueing social or legal norms or morality for their own right (not necessarily against). Can have own morality.
Boredom is severely painful as well as situations where you feel trapped and can't escape easily (aspd has a high comorbidity with agoraphobia according to studies) which leads to urges (not necessarily actions) of harm to self andor others. Hence it having high self harm and suicide attempt rates, impulsivity, anger including lashing out with words or actions, addiction. All for relief.
And "improper response to punishment" meaning doesn't lower behavior but rather causes anger at punisher, doing it behind back, or no change
On average lower or missing or selective with who towards for specific emotions or reactions in regard to affective empathy, care, sompassion, guilt, shame. (Doesn't determine actions)
Now which characters fit that well enough...
JAX AND POMNI
Others fit things too. Ragatha fits the ego seeking and wanting praise and to be looked good of npd.
Gangle fits more the attention seeking of histrionic. With dysthymia's depressive mood typically
Zooble fits more of the not wanting any of it of schizoid
Kinger...like there is some things i could say but so much uncertainty other then autistic.
Also, slight spoiler for ep 4 but gangle was outright extremely abusive in episode 4, I said what I said. Way worse then what Jax had done for all of the episodes total. And no, none of it was deserved, people don't deserve to be abused. I can't believe I have to say that to this fandom.
No disorder makes you bad or abusive, your actions do
Ragatha tieing someone up and making it so they were unable to speak for an entire adventure when the person tied up likely has fear of situations difficult to escape from? Extremely bad. Because of actions. Doesn't matter if she did it for "good emotions"
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There really is something terrifying and yet beautiful about how Darius's love of dinosaurs was quickly surpassed by his love for his friends and found family.
The revelation that as soon as one dinosaur killed one of his fellow campers, he was done with them? After they'd put their trust in him? Whether he was in love with them or not? That was all it took, one death? One loss? And it was Over? Even the keepsake he shared with his father was cast aside, because the thought of loving something that had brought so much harm was too much? Even with all of his knowledge, the weapon that kept his friends alive, that an animal is just doing what an animal does, he still vilified them and pushed all of that aside?
That is such beautiful, terrifying Character Growth.
#the thought that your emotions can utterly shatter who you are as a person?#UGH#darius bowman#jurassic world: chaos theory#jurassic world: camp cretaceous#the chilling fact is that that probably would have happened in a heartbeat had any of his fellow campers died on those islands#ben was at least something that happened before he grew attached#he hadn't regained his necklace and his identity and he was more haunted and uncertain#while he was still doubting himself and his contributions to the group#though even if Sammy had died to Scorpios I doubt that would have done it#because that was a mad hybrid#but...if the Ceratosaurus or Rexy had done it?#yeah that would have probably broken him in the same way#also it probably was the Second Time Trauma#you get One Get Out of Trauma Free card and Darius spent that on Ben#and just because he got Ben back didn't undo the penalty#like...it ground him to his soul#and Brooklynn's death broke him#and it's SO GOOD
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Prompt 273
You know what? We need more Good parents Fentons.
And you know what else? Technically, Jack helped Danny defeat Pariah via the use of the Ecto-Skeleton. And like, that’s his son, his baby boy. Sure Danny is and has always been a mommy’s boy, but it doesn’t change that fact. They’re both already feeling horrible about the fact they could have hurt him, they could have hurt their son- they have hurt their son, killed him with their inaction and never again.
So when these oversized jello-eyeballs try to insist that their baby, their precious baby boy, take a crown? Become a king when he’s not even out of highschool, when he doesn’t want it? No. Hell no! That is his Danny-o, his baby boy who was terrified of his own parents!
Which is how Jack, despite technically still being alive even if so-very ecto-contaminated, became the Ghost King.
And for some reason there’s several ghosts rather happy about this- oh, these are his Danny-O’s ghost-parents? Not-ghost parents seeing as some of them have never been anything but a realm denizen? That’s really fascinating- y’know what, want some fudge and we can exchange childcare- Maddie dear come over and meet our co-parents apparently!
Now it’s not all easy, but they’re trying their best, and that’s all that can be asked.
…
Which is perhaps why it’s so exasperating- or as Maddie would put it, downright infuriating- that it is now, almost an entire year and a half later that the Heroes finally arrive to investigate. Well, at least he has plenty of fudge since it’s almost time for the council meeting.
#DCxDP#DPxDC#Prompts#Ghost King Jack#Jack is never picking up a gun again#Why yes they did have a one-night stand with Constantine before#The fentons adopt Ellie as soon as they can which also ends with some conversations with Vlad#Lots of conversations & therapy and Y E A H#Jack is like an unmovable object and Danny is like an unstoppable force#Dan gets snatched up the moment he goes back in time from his timeline#He has no clue wtf to do because it’s Not Fair that Danny gets this#That he gets his parents- that he gets acceptance#Dan doesn’t realize until the whole Fentom Family (& Vlad) hugs him that he realizes he can#Jordan is very overprotective of his second chance at family thanks to trauma#Somehow him and Vlad get on well together- probably the villain-leaning habits#GIW had a complete info blackout on Amity to the point they erased the existence of the city#Hence why it took so long for the heroes to find out#Eventually via Deadman after he disappears for a bit & returns telling them there’s a new king & everyone#is getting little information packets on new rules & getting their paperwork taken care of#Pretty much getting visa (Sp?) cards on what they’re doing in the living world
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Dean remembering Hell in Supernatural: Bobby Singer's Guide to Hunting.
(for context they're up against a Greek Goddess that is feeding on their memories--preferring the good ones--so Dean starts remembering all his worst ones to hurt her)
#society if dean got a proper hell trauma arc#also notice how sam only remembers SECONDS of his time in hell. dean vividly remembers years worth of brutal torture.#like not diminishing the fact that sam suffered at the hands of lucifer but their hell trauma IS very different.#sam's was mostly psychological. he was never on the rack like dean was. he was in the cage with lucifer playing mind-games.#dean's trauma was bodily. physical. unimaginable brutal pain and torture.#sam gets his hell trauma taken by cas. effectively lifting the burden. he knows factually what happened but the trauma response is gone#dean never gets that. dean never has the memories scrubbed clean or the body's trauma response lifted.#dean is the one that teaches sam the 'pain trick' to distinguish between reality and hell hallucination. why does he know this?#bc he's dealing with his own hell trauma. probably seeing Alistair like sam sees lucifer. the difference is we never get to hear abt it#bobby's guide to hunting#hell trauma#dean and hell
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it still fucks me up that fuyuhiko and peko were literally kidnapped as children. i dont think anyone ever talks about that at all. is that even well known information
#probably gonna draw something related to this??#sorry. sometimes i like to read his wiki from time to time and im just like. Oh.#this guy is fucked up. we been knew but Damn#it doesnt say how young he was when that happened to him#but since it emphasizes they were children and also he hasnt cried since second grade (and he cried in those mountains)#then he was like. eight years old?#god DAMN thats so sad. imagine what happened to them dude#thats gotta impact him for a long time. and he NEVER TALKS ABOUT IT!!!#sorry im full of thoughts. maybe this is nothing. i just heart fuyuhiko. poor guy#i feel like he never ever had a chance to fully process his trauma#until literally like. after the game . way later hes able to think about it#rambling#fuyuhiko kuzuryu#danganronpa
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i am absolutely fucking obsessed with their parallels
#{ ⚖️ after knowing all I wonder. can you really forgive them? 👁️}#milgram#milgram project#kotoko yuzuriha#milgram kotoko#fuuta kajiyama#milgram fuuta#if any old milgram fans find this post I am aware this has probably been pointed out a dozen times before#But I'm a baby here so I find this shit cool#also I feel like the second pair of screenies could be a bit confusing so what I actually mean by it is#“both of them are denying they have trauma or a more complicated background without actually denying it”#kinda vibe yknow#I need to know Kotoko's life story nobody becomes like that overnight lmao
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Avery Morgan - Thoughts on relationships
#doctor odyssey#avery morgan#my gifs#Avery calling marriage a mating ritual is so incredibly funny actually#also I love how she’s like I HATE RELATIONSHIPS#but the second polyamory is presented to her as an option she’s like#waaaaaaiiiiiitttttttttttttttt#I also love her saying to her friends that she always dreamed of meeting a nice guy and having kids#but every time she speaks about relationships she’s saying she doesn’t like or believe in them#I mean I know it’s probably the trauma of her first marriage doing that to her#cause the white picket fantasy may also be heteronormative social conditioning#because she certainly doesn’t match that with her words#but it could also be like#1. Massey’s thing of can my needs be met by one person#she wants both boys hence her interest in being a throuple#and 2. as she said it was fun inthink she likes that it’s non traditional#I
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Started watching the Bayverse movies with my besties and... Are we just too gay for these movies??? Admittedly we only finished the first two and got through a quarter of the third, but the second one was such a drag to sit through at times and it probably doesn't help that we do NOT care about Sam that much. I hope that there is a character arc for him in the rest of the third movie. Because so far he has not been fun to watch in that one. He just comes off as a slight manchild to me, like... I can see why he would be frustrated with where he is in life but the way he acts with others and lashes out does not help him in the slightest. I do have to admit though that seeing him go to Cybertronian Heaven in the second movie was the funniest part for me and my besties lol.
I'll just hope that the other guy in the next movies will be at least a bit more interesting. Doesn't even have to be a good guy, just an interesting guy for me lol
#rintalks#text#transformers#transformers bayverse#A lesbian demigirl a she/they lesbian and a nonbianry bisexual watch Bayverse with alcohol- You'll never guess what happens next#Adding a Drinking Game to your (attempted) movie marathon can increase the fun for the whole group lol#But only when everyone knows how to drink responsibly and does not peer pressure of course#I feel like they made Sam too much of an Everyman that he basically had nothing as a person himself#He is literally a middle-class white teenage boy who is not too smart nor too sporty a bit awkward but says witty lines and-#It feels like so much to just say nothing#No real soft and or hard skills to speak of for this dude#Nothing about him as a person was what was needed in the two movies either#It was so circumstancial#If he wasn't related to his captain/explorer grandfather and had his glasses then he never would've been sucked into the conflict#if he didn't touch the shard in the second movie then he wouldn't have been an accidental cybertronian usb stick#I do admit that the movie wouldn't have come to it's conclusion without his involvement and the knowledge he sucked up but everything else-#It wasn't exactly HIS knowledge and he wasn't the guy who had all the breakthroughs or epiphanies.#Also. Him going to cybertronian heaven lol. All these soldiers also gave their lives to protect Optimus where do they go? Lmao#I feel like Mikaela would've been a better protagonist but considering that it was the 2000s and she was a girl in a “”boy franchise“”-#fat fucking chance man ToT#The way she was driving in reverse while having Bumblebee in the back shoot at Decepticons was som genuinely cool shit ngl#And she only got the car bc she knew how to unlock and jumpstart it!!! Queen shit!!!#I'm so far not a fan of how weirdly enabling Carly is of Sams more immature tendencies but I won't give up hope and just watch!#Maybe they'll break up bc they see they're not good for each other or maybe the trauma will change them and draw them closer to each other#there are many ways to go with both of these characters and their relationship#Am I having too much hope? Probably but I don't want to be too cynical about things lol#makes life a bit more fun that way too#Funnily enough the only characters me and my besties found ourselves slightly attached to were the idiot twins in the second movie#and the little monstertruck guy voiced by Tom Kenny at times. Not in all his scenes but you know. A win is a win.#And of course Bumblebee except for that scene where he pissed on that dude in the first movie that was not it
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So, my family is rewatching Rings of Power, and since I’m the one in the family that read The Silmarillion (like a masochist), I’m the one who keeps getting asked all the questions.
#‘did this happen?’ well broadly speaking yes but Tolkien never fleshed this part of middle-earth’s history out in much detail#but I know exactly where they got the idea for whatever it is most of the time#‘is Galadriel’s husband really dead’ of course not#‘did Sauron ever go by the name Halbrand?’ well not really but also how much time do you have because this is going to take some explaining#‘is that Gandalf?’ almost definitely but they’re doing the blue wizard thing with him by taking him to Rhun#also I think they’re making him the basis for the hobbit’s ’man in the moon’ song so I’m honestly okay with it#‘is the Queen lady’s nightmare significant’ Yes three times over but how am I supposed to say anything about it#without giving away what’s probably a season finale#‘what’s with the mithril?’ Hell if I know I’m as confused as you are about that#actually the Galadriel’s husband one was funny#because of course Celeborn shows up in the movies#but my mom wasn’t sure that was actually her husband#or some random blorbo#or a second husband#which then opened up the whole conversation#to how the elves are painfully monogamous even when their spouse dies#because they way they die is weird and also#they all still have generational and firsthand trauma from the fallout of that one elf guy who did get remarried#rings of power spoilers
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personally i think the best way to get everyone out of the way during the squad vacation to brazil is for forever to announce the completion of his prison, ""randomly"" draw the names of the members who are leaving (or they volunteer), and then say "okay cool test it out for me and let me know how it goes!!" and they get tp'd into prison and summarily kicked from the server.
#qsmp#will this further traumatize qpac? probably#but they could also retcon it as 'they found a glaring flaw within 30 seconds and decided to stay so forever wasn't discouraged'#so they could absolutely have escaped at any time. but forever needed a win so they waited around and played a ttrpg instead#block game brainrot#shut up vic#that way qpac isn't actually trapped and knows that and qcellbit doesn't relapse (too badly) for the same reason#tho also they could go down those paths if they're interested who's to say? :D options open to them#there's a lot of kidnapping and prison trauma so i'm hoping they can turn it kinda silly#if like. they're tp'd into the cells. and they turn around and the window is literally just Open. or something ridiculous#like they have classic minecraft 'hole with water' toilets except there's a full sewer tunnel that connects the cells and also goes outside#and forever justifies it as the feds insisted he put toilets in the jail (bc the feds have 'looking for the bathroom' trauma)#and forever isn't ever one to half ass things so HE insisted there was a full working sewage network#except the federation doesn't have a plumber on staff so it goes about as well as anyone could expect#long tags#this is my personal pipe dream
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"erc can suck my dick!!!" I say as if my current situation isn't anyone's fault but my own
#cw// ed#res adventures#sh'd last night so my therapist grabbed me as i was going to get electronics for the outing#and was like hey actually you cant go also you may be phase 1 again#and i was like haha cool!#then the first second i was alone i purged#WHY DID I DO THAT#now i am definitely demoted to phase 1 and lost my pass and extra electronics time and night showers#and probably next weeks outing too#it literally just made things worse. and then i got pulled again for therapy and he was so gentle and kind about it#and i wanted to die like dont be nice to me i am a fuckup!!! i dont deserve it!!!#i mentioed how ive been stuck for almost two years and that got us on a trauma tangent#and i think we are starting trauma work which may actually be helpful bc no one ever listens to me abt that#anyway. im still feeling nothing and everything and very much want to continue to self destruct bc nothing matters#which i said and was told that my depression seems 'very loud' no shit ive been saying that but again no one listens#whatever.
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dare i ask what are mav's many hypotheses about ice?
anyway i am so obsessed with how slider sees maverick. in general i really enjoy the unreliable narration in all of your fics. maverick as ice sees him, ice as maverick sees him, maverick as slider sees him, slider overhearing their phone call and seeing a completely different maverick.
death of the author baby. you decide.
#example of a random nonsensical clause i added to balance out the length of a sentence w/o thinking about implications#(many such cases)#probably a hypothesis like: ice is a pansexual demihomoromantic#will fuck anyone but only falls in love with his best friends/partners in trauma#(/s)#100% of my characterization comes from the scene where goose is telling him ‘I can’t afford to blow this’ ‘im not gonna let you down’#disarming smile; joke; smile immediately drops the second goose leaves. not a real smile.#tc also gives very façade all the time also. I’ve seen those interviews. something sharp about him irl too. depends on whos talking to him.#having recently actually read Roland barthes death of the author this is actually a bad use of the phrase#edts notes
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