#also is this an information that I should be giving friends? How does one approach that conversation? do i just send a random text

[gabriellovescandy]

There is something so surreal about being an adult

[specialagentartemis]

I get variations on this comment on my post about history misinformation all the time: "why does it matter?" Why does it matter that people believe falsehoods about history? Why does it matter if people spread history misinformation? Why does it matter if people on tumblr believe that those bronze dodecahedra were used for knitting, or that Persephone had a daughter named Mespyrian? It's not the kind of misinformation that actually hurts people, like anti-vaxx propaganda or climate change denial. It doesn't hurt anyone to believe something false about the past.

Which, one, thanks for letting me know on my post that you think my job doesn't matter and what I do is pointless, if it doesn't really matter if we know the truth or make up lies about history because lies don't hurt anyone. But two, there are lots of reasons that it matters.

It encourages us to distrust historians when they talk about other aspects of history. You might think it's harmless to believe that Pharaoh Hatshepsut was trans. It's less harmless when you're espousing that the Holocaust wasn't really about Jews because the Nazis "came for trans people first." You might think it's harmless to believe that the French royalty of Versailles pooped and urinated on the floor of the palace all the time, because they were asshole rich people anyway, who cares, we hate the rich here; it's rather less harmless when you decide that the USSR was the communist ideal and Good, Actually, and that reports of its genocidal oppression are actually lies.

It encourages anti-intellectualism in other areas of scholarship. Deciding based on your own gut that the experts don't know what they're talking about and are either too stupid to realize the truth, or maliciously hiding the truth, is how you get to anti-vaxxers and climate change denial. It is also how you come to discount housing-first solutions for homelessness or the idea that long-term sustained weight loss is both biologically unlikely and health-wise unnecessary for the majority of fat people - because they conflict with what you feel should be true. Believing what you want to be true about history, because you want to believe it, and discounting fact-based corrections because you don't want them to be true, can then bleed over into how you approach other sociological and scientific topics.

How we think about history informs how we think about the present. A lot of people want certain things to be true - this famous person from history was gay or trans, this sexist story was actually feminist in its origin - because we want proof that gay people, trans people, and women deserve to be respected, and this gives evidence to prove we once were and deserve to be. But let me tell you a different story: on Thanksgiving of 2016, I was at a family friend's house and listening to their drunk conservative relative rant, and he told me, confidently, that the Roman Empire fell because they instituted universal healthcare, which was proof that Obama was destroying America. Of course that's nonsense. But projecting what we think is true about the world back onto history, and then using that as recursive proof that that is how the world is... is shoddy scholarship, and gets used for topics you don't agree with just as much as the ones you do. We should not be encouraging this, because our politics should be informed by the truth and material reality, not how we wish the past proved us right.

It frequently reinforces "Good vs. Bad" dichotomies that are at best unhelpful and at worst victim-blaming. A very common thread of historical misinformation on tumblr is about the innocence or benevolence of oppressed groups, slandered by oppressors who were far worse. This very frequently has truth to it - but makes the lies hard to separate out. It often simplifies the narrative, and implies that the reason that colonialism and oppression were bad was because the victims were Good and didn't deserve it... not because colonialism and oppression are bad. You see this sometimes with radical feminist mother goddess Neolithic feminist utopia stuff, but you also see it a lot regarding Native American and African history. I have seen people earnestly argue that Aztecs did not practice human sacrifice, that that was a lie made up by the Spanish to slander them. That is not true. Human sacrifice was part of Aztec, Maya, and many Central American war/religious practices. They are significantly more complex than often presented, and came from a captive-based system of warfare that significantly reduced the number of people who got killed in war compared to European styles of war that primarily killed people on the battlefield rather than taking them captive for sacrifice... but the human sacrifice was real and did happen. This can often come off with the implications of a 'noble savage' or an 'innocent victim' that implies that the bad things the Spanish conquistadors did were bad because the victims were innocent or good. This is a very easy trap to fall into; if the victims were good, they didn't deserve it. Right? This logic is dangerous when you are presented with a person or group who did something bad... you're caught in a bind. Did they deserve their injustice or oppression because they did something bad? This kind of logic drives a lot of transphobia, homophobia, racism, and defenses of Kyle Rittenhouse today. The answer to a colonialist logic of "The Aztecs deserved to be conquered because they did human sacrifice and that's bad" is not "The Aztecs didn't do human sacrifice actually, that's just Spanish propaganda" (which is a lie) it should be "We Americans do human sacrifice all the god damn time with our forever wars in the Middle East, we just don't call it that. We use bullets and bombs rather than obsidian knives but we kill way, way more people in the name of our country. What does that make us? Maybe genocide is not okay regardless of if you think the people are weird and scary." It becomes hard to square your ethics of the Innocent Victim and Lying Perpetrator when you see real, complicated, individual-level and group-level interactions, where no group is made up of members who are all completely pure and good, and they don't deserve to be oppressed anyway.

It makes you an unwitting tool of the oppressor. The favorite, favorite allegation transphobes level at trans people, and conservatives at queer people, is that we're lying to push the Gay Agenda. We're liars or deluded fools. If you say something about queer or trans history that's easy to debunk as false, you have permanently hurt your credibility - and the cause of queer history. It makes you easy to write off as a liar or a deluded fool who needs misinformation to make your case. If you say Louisa May Alcott was trans, that's easy to counter with "there is literally no evidence of that, and lots of evidence that she was fine being a woman," and instantly tanks your credibility going forward, so when you then say James Barry was trans and push back against a novel or biopic that treats James Barry as a woman, you get "you don't know what you're talking about, didn't you say Louisa May Alcott was trans too?" TERFs love to call trans people liars - do not hand them ammunition, not even a single bullet. Make sure you can back up what you say with facts and evidence. This is true of homophobes, of racists, of sexists. Be confident of your facts, and have facts to give to the hopeful and questioning learners who you are relating this story to, or the bigots who you are telling off, because misinformation can only hurt you and your cause.

It makes the queer, female, POC, or other marginalized listeners hurt, sad, and betrayed when something they thought was a reflection of their own experiences turns out not to be real. This is a good response to a performance art piece purporting to tell a real story of gay WWI soldiers, until the author revealed it as fiction. Why would you want to set yourself up for disappointment like that? Why would you want to risk inflicting that disappointment and betrayal on anyone else?

It makes it harder to learn the actual truth.

Historical misinformation has consequences, and those consequences are best avoided - by checking your facts, citing your sources, and taking the time and effort to make sure you are actually telling the truth.

[personasintro]

Mutual Help | #54

↳ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬; in order for you to pretend to be his girlfriend, he helps you with your sexual desires ⏤ he calls it mutual help

⇢ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: jungkook x reader

⇢ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fake dating au, fluff, angst, smut, slow burn

⇢ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: explicit language, mature content

⇢ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 21.2k+

⇠ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯. | 𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐱 | 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 ⇢ 

“No.”

“But–”

“I said no. What's not clicking?”

You should've expected this response and reaction. Not even in your wildest dreams you imagined this to go smoothly, the lack of sleep you've managed to get after yesterday speaks for everything. Not only Jungkook and the argument your friends witnessed so openly clouded your mind and made it difficult for you to surrender yourself to tiredness, but also wondering how you will throw your idea at Yoongi the next morning. 

This is all your fault and you shouldn't have spoken when angry and annoyed. The idea of inviting Yoongi to your camping trip is not only stupid but it doesn't make sense either. To be honest, you're aware of Jungkook's dislike toward your co-worker and he didn't fail to show it yesterday either. That's why you stubbornly said he's coming too. 

“He's not even your friend.”  

Jungkook might be right about that, but you're going to prove him wrong. You will drag Yoongi there whether he wants to or not, whatever it takes. You've been determined and pretty confident until now.

You haven't even managed to fully explain yourself before Yoongi straightforwardly dismissed you during the lunch break. Not only have you been bracing yourself to approach him, you feel embarrassed how blunt and rude he is about it.

“You didn't even hear me out.” you exclaim, thanking God there are no other co-workers witnessing this embarrassing moment of you ready to beg Yoongi.

“And I didn't have to,” Yoongi shrugs, taking a sip of his coffee as he cocks his brow in your direction, silently challenging you which makes your blood boil. 

Two people have pissed you off in less than twenty-four hours. And it's not because of your period. Yes, you got it and you never thought you would be happier about it, even though there was a really low risk in the first place. Still, it calmed down your nerves and you wondered whether you should inform Jungkook about it, only because you were too relieved and excited. In the end, you decided not to because that could be potentially weird. All of this was before your argument that took place yesterday. 

“I don't even want to know why you invited me somewhere. There has to be some kind of ulterior motive for it.” He squints his eyes suspiciously at you while you roll your eyes at him. 

“I know it's weird but–”

“Fucking weird,” Yoongi cuts you off, your mouth shut as you glare at him while he takes a calm sip of his steaming coffee. “Now leave me alone so I can enjoy the rest of my lunch break.”

What would you do if you could just kick him in the ass for being such an asshole? You really want to do that and for a second you contemplate on doing that, but then you're reminded what you got yourself into. You're stubborn and you're determined on showing up with Yoongi.

“Yoongi!” you call out to him, your cheeks heating even in a bigger embarrassment how panicked you sound.

But thankfully, he turns around and doesn't ignore you. However, he looks already tired of you and he doesn't fail to not show it. Besides the dark hair that has gotten longer in the back and frames his face, annoyance and tiredness does too. You're the unmistakable reason behind it. 

Taking this chance, you rush back to him, too scared he's going to leave and leave you to your destiny and humiliation. You won't give any satisfaction to Jungkook. It's petty and childish, but you're not backing down.

Your next words are painful and you just can't believe you're saying them to Yoongi – out of all people – but you have no one else to ask. “I need your help.”

His face remains stoic, doesn't give any sort of reaction and the longer he stays quiet with the coffee in his hands, the more you feel like the floor could swallow you whole. You wish it would. The idiot is never going to live it down once you actually explain things to him. Not that you will give him a full explanation, but he won't believe you if you just tell him you want him there. Both of you know that's proper bullshit. 

“You need what? Say it again.”

Argh, this idiot. 

You swallow down your pride, still throwing him a glare before you mutter through your clenched teeth, “I need your help, you idiot.”

“Now, I don't like that. You don't call names, someone you ask for help. Bye.”

For fuck sake! 

“Okay, okay! I'm sorry,” you whine, grasping him by his wrist as he follows your hand with a frown which makes you let go. “I need your help, please.”

He studies your face, frowning before looking away in annoyance and a moment later, he lets out a tired sigh. “What is this about?” 

“I need you to come with me on a camping trip.”

“You said that before.” He points out. 

You didn't exactly say that. 

“I'm going on a camping trip this weekend, I want you to go with me.” Is what you exactly said.

“And my answer is still no.” He turns to leave but you jump in front of him.

“Can you please let me explain?” you whine, pouting which makes him scrunch his nose. You don't wait for a response, knowing he really is about to leave if you won't do something quickly. “I kinda told my friends you're coming and there's no going back.”

“And why would you do that?” He squints his eyes again. 

Poking your inner cheek, you look away for a moment in a mere embarrassment. “I got into an argument with Jungkook. He pissed me off and it somehow came out of me.”

“Ah,” he lets out, emphasizing his realization too much and it pisses you off. “So you're using me because you want to piss your boyfriend off?” 

To be honest, you completely get Yoongi and why he would never agree to this. He has no reason to. Even if he could easily refuse because of you alone, he and Jungkook haven't ended on a good note the last time you can remember. Bringing Yoongi with you could cause some serious problems and it's only now that you think of the possible consequences. As long as both of them behave, there should be no issue. 

But the guys are welcoming and friendly, they surely wouldn't be rude to Yoongi and even though he's an asshole, you wouldn't put him in that position of inviting him to somewhere where people would be assholes to him. You're not that dumb. Jungkook can behave too, as long as Yoongi doesn't provoke him but you wouldn't bet on it. 

“He is not my boyfriend,” you grumble. “And no, I'm not using you. I think. I don't like the sound of that.”

“So how would you explain my presence there if it's not to piss him off?”

Sighing, you scratch your temple. “No. I need you there because I said you will be there in the heat of the moment. And I'm not giving him that satisfaction of showing up without you.”

“Wow,” Yoongi hums, “You're very persistent.”

You only stare.

“And stupid if you think I'm going.”

“Yoongi!” you whine, almost stomping your feet. “I will do anything you want. Please. The food is free, I will pay for everything there and you won't have to pay for anything. Come on, you don't want to spend the weekend in a nice nature with good food?”

His lips twitch in amusement when you're bluntly trying to persuade him. But the pride is out of the window now. “Not really.”

You groan, “Our friends are coming too and they are really great.”

“I've got enough friends, thank you.”

“No, I meant you would have a great time there. And not mentioning you would seriously help me. I'm desperate Yoongi, if you can't see. I'm practically begging you at our workplace, throwing away my dignity. Come on.”

“I don't like camping.” he informs you, not showing any kind of interest of actually agreeing and you're seriously close to crying. He's making it difficult for you. 

“I will buy you breakfast or lunch every day for a week.” you blurt out, wondering what on earth could Min Yoongi possibly want from you. 

“A week? Is that how much my presence is worth?” 

It's not worth even an hour, you want to say. But you clench your teeth instead and take a deep breath. “For a month.”

“Hm, that's better.” he muses, taking another sip of his warm coffee now. The steam is gone, a reminder of how long this begging has been going on for.

“So? What are you saying?”

“I don't know, Y/N. I don't really want to spend my free weekend with you and your friends.” he admits shamelessly, completely ignoring your look of disbelief that turns into a glare. 

“Trust me, I could imagine my weekend without you too.” you grumble and he leans his ear closer to your face.

“What was that?” 

Fucker . He heard you perfectly.

“Yoongi,” you beg. “Please.”

He stares at you, your foot impatiently and nervously tapping against the floor as you give him a look of desperation. He has every reason to say no . 

“Add coffee there too.”

You squeal in happiness, jumping repeatedly in place with your hands close to your chest and you're close to hugging him. Yoongi winces at your disposal of excitement and relief, throwing you an unappreciative glare. 

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” 

Yoongi sighs, “Don't make me regret it.” he grumbles, brushing past you as you still can't hide the smile. 

“I will text you the details!”

“Don't bother!” he calls out, his back turned to you but you ignore him, too engrossed at your own success of persuasion. 

“Let me get this straight,” Maya stops swirling the straw, not hiding her obvious shock. “You invited your friend because Jungkook decided to invite his own?”

“He's not my friend, more like a coworker.” you correct her.

You still can't believe you've managed to pull it off. Luckily, Yoongi never came to you to cancel the whole camping trip like you feared. Still, you hope he will show up and won't bail on you last minute. He is Min Yoongi. He is capable of anything and you wouldn't put it past him. 

You and Jungkook still haven't talked since that day of your argument. What can't be said about Jimin who showed his obvious confusion, not forgetting to give you another lecture through texts. Taehyung called you both dumb but never really said anything else besides that. To say it this way, you had no one to vent to and when Maya asked to hang out before the trip, you agreed straight away.

She gives you a look, though she doesn't judge while she tries to wrap her head around what you've just told her. She knows about Ester coming, Jungkook didn't forget to inform everyone in the group chat that has been created purposely for this trip. It was two days after your argument and his message made your eyes roll. Namjoon offered to help with the tent situation even without Jungkook asking and you found yourself to be annoyed with him because of it. But you know that's stupid because he's just trying to be helpful. 

Why does he always have to save the day? 

In two days you're leaving on this trip and the closer it gets, you wonder if coming at all is a good idea. Maybe you could cancel it, fake sickness or something. But your friends would never live it down. They would see straight to your lie, not mentioning it would be suspicious as hell. 

“You guys are not talking now?” 

“No, we haven't talked since that argument. We don't have arguments like that often and usually, one of us reaches out first. But it's been days and nothing happened.” you explain, frowning at your drink.

“You're both stubborn,” Maya infers, “This is a mess.”

She causes you to groan as you want to rub your face frustratedly, but it wouldn't be worth ruining your makeup. “Don't remind me.”

“But things were fine before that, right? You guys are still…?” She trails off, doing a weird gesture with her hands but you understand it immediately as your cheeks flush. 

“Yeah, yeah everything was fine. But you should've seen him. Argh, this fucking sucks. I just got so annoyed because he mentioned inviting her all of a sudden. We barely know her, he barely knows her and he wants to play some kind of hero or something, I don't know. I simply questioned him and he got annoyed, making me feel like the bad guy,”

Maya listens attentively. 

“I mean, I wasn't a saint either. I am not a saint in this but he just got me so annoyed. The way he reacted and looked at me. Even the tone he used.”

Maya watches you for a moment, a smile threatening to appear on her lips and it does. She tries to hide it behind the straw but you catch it right away, giving her a look. “What?”

“Sounds like you're jealous.” 

You groan loudly, throwing your head back. “I am not… jealous.”

“That sounded really convincing.” she sings out and you glare at her. 

“I am not jealous romantically .” you elaborate. 

“Has Jungkook ever had any other female friends beside you?” Maya questions, causing you to shake your head. 

“No, not that I know of. No. I'm sure he hasn't. That's if we don't count Jia but she's Jin's girlfriend, well, wife now. She is also his ex's best friend but I don't think they're friends, friends if you know what I mean.”

“Ah, yeah. I totally get that,” she nods. “Well, then it's more than clear.”

You pause. “What is clear?”

“He never had any other female friends beside you and now he does. You feel threatened, therefore you're jealous.”

“I'm not threatened.” you chuckle, but the sound turns into a nervous one as your eyes widen. Are you threatened by Ester? You're sure you aren't. Your friendship with Jungkook is special. He is allowed to have other female friends.

Maya gives you a knowing look. “Maybe not completely. What you and Jungkook have… I don't think he's ever going to have that with her. But still, you never really had to share him with anyone else. Him inviting her is kinda out of the blue, but you're mainly jealous because you've always been his only female friend.”

You can't say she's far off. You admitted it yourself, you did feel jealous but hearing her saying it out loud to your face feels like a proper slap. You do regret acting like a child that evening, you shouldn't have been so annoyed at him inviting his new friend. You're not possessive or overly jealous. You never had a reason to be. But like Maya said, you never really had to share him. Not only him but your friends too. The three of you have been close since you met them. 

You've got a special bond and even though they've got more friends, you know none of them are that close.

“Do you know how I know this?”

“Hm?” you hum, taking a sip of your virgin mojito to shake yourself out of your intrusive thoughts.

“I can relate to you,” she says, “I had this friend back home. We've known each other since elementary school, we grew up with each other and I thought nothing could separate us. You know, the usual childhood friendship?” She laughs at the memory, though she doesn't sound sad at all. 

That gives you a bit of relief for some reason.

“She found this other friend in highschool since we went to different ones. She started hanging out with her more and more, I guess I felt threatened after a while. I was jealous. And I'm not the jealousy type either. I never felt that way before, but I guess it happens when you have a best friend. You get jealous, it's completely normal.”

Maya leans against the chair, giving you a brief smile. 

“We went separate ways shortly after. I'm not saying that will happen to you and Jungkook!” she quickly adds. “But we grew out of each other, I guess. What I meant to say with this, is that I felt similar and you're not wrong for feeling jealous. We're humans for fuck sake. Sometimes we don't understand each other and I see you kinda blame yourself for questioning Jungkook. But I'm sure you guys will be fine. Some silly argument won't separate you.” 

You almost tease her for getting too deep, but you know it would only be a facade to mask your appreciation for her. She always manages to ease your nerves. She understands you on another level. You usually have that with Jungkook. It's nice to have someone else too. What if Jungkook is going to have that with Ester?  

No, stop! 

“He is allowed to have other friends. I don't want to come out as possessive.”

“And you're not,” she assures you. “It's something new for you. Don't blame yourself.” 

You stare at her before a sad chuckle leaves your mouth. “You always make me feel better.” you admit, causing her to smile at you. 

“What are friends for?” she jokes, “But no really. I didn't say that because I'm your friend. I genuinely think this.”

“Thank you.”

She leans her elbows on the table, peering at you with brown curious eyes. “Tell me about you guys. How are you guys doing? Minus the whole argument, obviously.”

Knowing exactly what she means, you sigh and think it through. How are you and Jungkook doing? You're not sure great does justice to what you're experiencing with him. Reasonably, you wouldn't talk about your sex life with Jimin or Taehyung. Despite their openness and closeness in your circle, it would be weird to rave about having sex with their best friend. Even more now that Jimin knows and clearly showed his dislike.

“Jimin knows about us.” you inform her, filling her in with the latest news that involves your relationship.

“No shit!” She widens her eyes as you give her a nod. 

“Taehyung told him, accidentally but told him nevertheless. He didn't really have a good reaction to it, but I guess I expected that.” you explain. 

“Is Jimin not supportive? Or how would I say it? Understanding?” 

“No, no. He usually is,” you quickly go to defend Jimin. “He was concerned about our friendship. He just doesn't want us to ruin it.”

“Hm, I can understand that,” she hums. “But you two know what you're doing best. It's easy to judge or have a say when you're an outsider.”

Maya is right. Jimin didn't mean to hurt you in any way, even though his words were straight-forward and he didn't exactly go easy on you. The little doubt sparkling inside you is all his doing and you realize his words have cut deeper.

After all, this is something you and Jungkook talked about. You settled on having fun on your own terms, knowing it's not the most common thing – let alone it's not something you would imagine happening two years ago. But you trust each other, you're honest with each other and if any of you decide to end it, it's not going to be a big deal. This is something that is going to end eventually, you're both fully aware of that. It's stupid of you to let anyone or anything to get between that. 

And that's exactly what you're trying to voice to Maya who listens attentively and gives you a reassuring smile throughout it all. 

“I'm sure many friends or best friends sleep together. I don't think it's that rare.” she thinks out loud. 

“I would never imagine doing that with Jungkook. And it sort of happened… naturally? We weren't supposed to exactly sleep together, that wasn't the goal or plan. We just left that open. He wanted me to be comfortable with everything we were doing.”

“That's even better. That it happened naturally, I mean.” 

“Two years ago, we literally cringed every time someone brought us, dating. I mean, we're not dating but just the thought of kissing each other made us grimace.” you chuckle at the memory which makes Maya do the same. 

“Oh come on, you never thought Jungkook was a hot piece of ass before?” Maya arches his brow, giving you a look of disbelief which makes you flustered.

“No!” you exclaim without even thinking about it. But she gives you the look which makes you shift in your seat. “Okay, he was hot and I was completely aware of that. I have a pair of eyes, alright?”

Maya smirks in response.

“But I saw it differently. He was my best friend and I never imagined doing anything even close to–he was like my brother.”

“Oh, so he's not like your brother anymore?” she teases causing you to groan. 

“That would be weird if I said he is considering…”

“Ah, considering he fucks you now. I get it.” 

You glare at her, looking around to check if somebody has heard her but luckily, no one seemed to be weirded out. Thank god you chose the table in the far corner. Maya really is like a female version of Taehyung sometimes. Them and their big mouths. 

“It's weird. We have–we have sex together but in other moments it's like nothing has changed. I think that's why it works between us. We have sex but then we tease each other, and go back to being best friends. I know it sounds weird but–”

“No, it doesn't. I get that. It's good that you guys don't feel weird.” she agrees. 

“I trust no one like I trust Jungkook. I seriously can't imagine doing this with anyone else. I know he would never use me and I do feel comfortable with him.”

Maya studies your face for a moment and just when you start to feel weird, she smirks at you. “You're so whipped.”

You gasp, “No, I am not!” you argue. 

“Whipped for his dick at least.” she continues while your cheeks feel like they're on fire. 

“ Stop !”

“Hey, I'm supporting you!” she exclaims, leaning closer to you as she whispers. “Get that dick, girl.”

You hide your face with your hands, not knowing whether to laugh or cry in horrification as Maya laughs at your distressed state. 

“I told you this before. I don't blame you. Jungkook looks like he can fuck well.” Oh, she has no idea. 

“Maya!” you laugh, her lips stretching to a big smile as she shrugs. 

“What, I'm just honest!” she continues to laugh. “I don't think you would do this with him if he couldn't fuck you properly.”

At least she lowers her voice as she says this but you're still mildly mortified you're talking about this at a public place. Luckily, there's no one around you and that brings at least some kind of relief. Not that you care if some stranger hears that you get fucked properly on daily basis. But still, this is the first time you're experiencing this and you're actually talking about yourself, rather than listening to someone else gushing about their sex life. 

“Oh, you have no idea.” you mutter which catches her attention as she blinks through her long eyelashes with a curious gaze. “I've never had such amazing sex with anyone else. I didn't have many partners to begin with, but I still can compare it with my exes. No one even comes close to… Jungkook.”

Maya squeals in excitement, stomping her feet excitedly under the table with her fists tucked under his chin. “Tell me more!”

You give her a look of amusement, shrugging. “I don't know what else to say. Jungkook ruined me for anyone in the future. I'm genuinely scared of that, Maya.”

“Scared?” she questions, noticing the way your voice drops. 

“What if my future boyfriend won't be as good in bed? I know sex is not everything but fuck, with Jungkook… I really hope there's someone else with that stamina and skills.” 

“Hm, I had a fair share of exes,” she says. “I can really tell the difference.”

“No, don't say that!” you whine.

“Listen, Jungkook might be God between the sheets and all, but if you're having sex with someone you're in love with… it's just different. Obviously, you must have the spark with them in bed too. But if it's mind-blowing in bed, plus you love that person, nothing can compete with that.”

You hate how you automatically think about Jungkook and Kiko, wondering if he sees sex with his ex like that too. It's not like anything Maya said is not true. It does make sense, but you've never really dwelled on it before. But now that she brought it up, you hate yourself for thinking about his previous sex relationship with his ex. 

“I've never felt with anyone like I feel with Joon. The sex, oh my god, I never thought it could get better and trust me, my previous ex was a beast.”

You snort, covering your mouth with your palm as her face brightens. You can't even think about Namjoon and sex in one sentence. You feel like it's a sin but clearly, Maya doesn't mind to get explicit about her own sex life with her fiancé. 

Luckily, the waiter comes to grab your empty glasses when she finishes her sentence. You both order another drink plus a cheesecake as a desert. Caramel one for you, raspberry for Maya. Just when you think she's done with this topic as the kind waiter brings you your desert, she digs into her cheesecake as she bluntly says. 

“Have you guys tried anal? You should.” she says silently.

You inhale the cake in your mouth, causing you to cough furiously as Maya tries to hide her laugh. What the hell? 

“It's not for everyone but if you're prepared well, it's actually very nice.” 

“Maya, seriously?” you deadpan, lowering your voice as she laughs. You don't mention Jungkook hinting at this particular topic a few times. Now that you're thinking about it, you haven't heard him bringing it up in a long time. 

“Hey, why so shy now? Miss ' Jungkook fucks me so good '?” she mocks you jokingly, a laugh escaping your mouth as you kick her shin under the table. 

“I'm not sure if I'm interested in that… particularly.” 

“You're missing out, but you do you.” she sings out as you roll your eyes.

“I would never peg Namjoon as…” you trail off, making a weird face as Maya laughs at the sight in front of her. 

“Girl, he looks innocent okay? I'll admit that but when it comes to sex… he's anything but innocent.”

“I feel weird hearing this.” you comment, making her laugh again. 

“Okay, then. What have you and Jungkook tried? If you're comfortable talking about this, of course.”

Thank god this place is clearing out. 

Not only has Jungkook managed to give you some indescribable orgasms, the best you've ever experienced so far, but he has also shown you so many new things. And with what happened recently, the most memorable thing right now is very clear to you. 

“We… um, we tried–recently, for the first time we had sex without–”

“Oh my!” she gasps. “It's great, isn't it? I don't want to see condoms anymore.” 

You cackle at that, slowly shaking your head. It's different with her. Her and Namjoon are in a relationship, fuck they're getting married soon! 

“It doesn't matter. It was a one time thing. It won't happen again.” you dismiss her as her smile drops. 

“Damn,” Her shoulders slouch as if this information somehow affects her. “I admire your responsibility. I shouldn't admit this but I wasn't so responsible in the past. I wasn't dating some of the guys too. Obviously, I trusted them and we were exclusive. I'm not proud of this but sometimes we just couldn't control ourselves.”

Oh god. You're already having a hard time thinking about having sex with condoms. Not that it's amazing either way, Jungkook is amazing at this but the feeling of– fuck .

“Maya, girl, you're not helping.” you nervously chuckle as she giggles. 

“Has he…?” she trails off, making a gesture with her hand which has your cheeks heating up and eyes widening. 

“No!” you exclaim. “No,” you add more quietly. “We didn't risk that. I was already close to shitting my pants like what if.”

Maya hums, watching you as you nervously trace the rim of your glass. 

“Is it… how does it feel? I've never…” you admit, cheeks flushing as Maya gives you a comforting smile, silently telling you there's nothing to be shy or ashamed about. 

Clearly, she has more experience in this field and considering she has a fiancé, you really doubt they have protected sex which she actually confirmed herself just a minute ago.

“I've heard it's different for every woman. Some don't feel it, some do. It depends on many factors. I have to admit I experienced that with another guy before too, not only with Joon… but lemme tell you it was freaking good every time.”

You mentally whine, trying to get that idea out of your mind. Jungkook knew what he was doing when he pulled out. You also never even discussed the possibility of him cumming inside and deep down, you know it's better this way that it never happened. You can't entertain this idea for any longer, no matter how this has been your sexual desire too. You only came out clean trying to have raw sex. You never mentioned the next part, already feeling like what you were asking of him is enough as it is. 

“I was more irresponsible at this than you. Honestly, I don't know what I would do if I ended up knocked by some guy that wasn't even my boyfriend. I was wild back then. But many people do this. I really doubt most people that aren't even in a relationship have protected sex. As long as everyone's clean of course.” 

That's true. You heard many of your friends back home talking about this. It's one of the reasons why you've always been responsible about this. They were having sex with their boyfriends back then, all of them were clean so the only problem was the risk itself. And you're not talking about the risk of catching STDs or something. 

“You're on birth control, right?”

“Yeah.” you confirm. 

“It's worth the try, trust me.” Maya shrugs. “You said you trust Jungkook. You're exclusive and you're having the sex of your life with him. Just saying.”

“I don't know. I don't even know how he would feel about it.” you mutter, almost whining at the thought. No, no, no. You can't be thinking about this. Silly Maya and her sex experiences.

“Trust me, guys love it.”

You shut your mouth, slowly shaking your head. 

“Yeah, but Jungkook…” you trail off, hinting at what happened to him. You never talked about it with Maya but she knows, most likely from Namjoon. Everyone in the group knows by now, they just don't talk about it. Probably not wanting to make Jungkook uncomfortable, plus there's no reason for them to talk about it. It's none of their business. 

“That happens once. It doesn't have to happen again, Jungkook knows that Y/N.” Maya says softly, “I understand why you guys would be hesitant and it's totally up to you. I'm just speaking out of my own experiences.” 

“Yeah…” you mutter, taking a long sip of your second mojito. “We're arguing at the moment anyway. The last thing I want is to think about sex with him.” You don't like arguing or fighting with him. Sex is the least of your worries right now.

“Oh, you guys will make up, trust me.” she muses with a knowing look that makes you playfully roll your eyes. “Anyways, I'm excited for the weekend. We're leaving in two days. It's my first time going with you guys! What should I pack?”

The rest of the hour is spent with you talking about the weekend, though you can't help but feel nervous each day it gets closer.

Yoongi hasn't bailed on you. Surprisingly.

You don't think you've ever wanted to see him more than when you had spotted him waiting for you in front of his apartment building. Even when he bluntly ignored your greeting and insisted on going with his car instead. Swallowing down the offense once he eyes your vehicle, you're forced to put your stuff in his car.

Not that information of where Yoongi lives now changes things. However, it does feel odd to know such personal information about him, especially when he has remained mysterious to you to a certain level. You think you know him – not all of him that's for sure – but you don't know much. You're both not the type to talk about casual stuff. That's definitely weird.

Once you get inside the car, you complain saying you've already refueled your car but it gets ignored by Yoongi. To be honest, the road to the camping area is a little on the bumpier side and Yoongi's car is more suitable for it. You don't tell him that though, handing him some cash for the fuel rather disheartedly.

He remains his usual grumpy self, barely saying anything other than telling you to turn on the GPS and put the location there. You try to tell him more about the trip, feeling too awkward to just sit there for a few hours with zero communication. But soon enough, Yoongi tells you to shut up and turns up the volume of the radio. 

Annoying dick.  

You remind yourself, you're thankful for his presence either way. You really thought he would bail on you at the last minute.

You make a short stop at a gas station, Yoongi complaining he needs caffeine if he has to put up with your ass for the rest of the weekend. Not getting discouraged or letting his words get to you, you offer him a sarcastic smile as you send him a flying kiss. 

Not commenting when he brings you a coffee too, you silently thank him. You wanted to tease him about it, but the look he gave you warned you not to. After all, you don't want to piss him off.

“Thanks for coming with me.” you mutter with a straw in your mouth, dodging Yoongi's eyes as soon as they set on you. 

He has decided to sit outside at one of the tables for whatever reason — to be honest you stopped listening as soon as he opened his mouth to complain. But hey, you've kept your mouth shut for the sake of both of you.

“Hm? I didn't quite catch that.”

Even without looking at him, you can tell from his tone that he has definitely caught that and he's just being a menace. Giving him a look, you see his brows raised feigning innocence which makes you roll your eyes.

“I said thank you for coming with me,” you repeat slowly, emphasizing every word which makes him lean back in approval. “It's not like you're doing this for free,” you mutter, catching his glare before you add. “But I appreciate it regardless.”

“I'm already regretting it.” he mutters back.

“Well, you're here, aren't you?” you retort, fixing your sharp tone. “Let's just enjoy it. Everything is gonna be fine and fun.”

You do sound like you're trying to convince yourself rather than him. He keeps his eyes on you for a moment longer, probably thinking the same thing but luckily, he doesn't comment on it as he ushers you to stand up so you can leave. 

The rest of the drive is spent in silence, your own nerves getting to you as you slowly start regretting going. Why, though? Because of Jungkook and your stupid argument? That's not a reason for you not to enjoy the weekend you've been excited about. Sure, it's not under the best conditions but still. Of course, you know you will not be able to enjoy it when you and Jungkook aren't on good terms at the moment. There's tension and an unspoken argument you should talk about. Maya was right. You're both stubborn and you don't plan to be the first one to crawl to him. 

Not necessarily. Depends how he's going to act. 

With each minute and the scenery you're starting to recognize, you consider asking Yoongi to make a u-turn and drive you back home. He would surely be happy. But you don't do that. Not even when it seems like everyone is already here, unpacking and sorting things that need to be taken care of before you can enjoy the proper camping. Jungkook's car is parked there, an awful reminder of him driving your friends.

After the little show you made before leaving Taehyung's place, Taehyung himself checked on you to make sure you really are going to get here by yourself. Petty you responded yes, you're going with Yoongi and Jungkook can drive his new friend in his fancy car. And yes, you worded it out like this. 

When you step out of the car, a set of greetings are thrown at you as Maya excitedly waves from the distance while she seems to be helping Namjoon set up their tent. Even Hoseok greets you with a friendly smile along with Jin, both of them informing you they're about to cook a meal since it takes time to set up the grill and prepare the meat. 

Their curiosity and attention is shown though, looking at Yoongi as all of them greet him friendly once you introduce him as your friend. You ignore the side glance Yoongi gives you and you hold yourself back from slapping his back. Luckily, even though he seems to be his usual grumpy self, he greets them back and listens to everyone as they introduce themselves to him. 

During all of this, all the breath is sucked out of you when Jungkook comes out of the parked caravan, holding a pack of coal in his hands. He looks up, obviously acknowledging the sudden and increased commotion and additional presence. The moment your eyes meet, you're not sure how to react and there's not really a space for you to do so because much to your shock, Jungkook looks away. He fucking looks away after two seconds of glancing at you before he bluntly ignores your presence.

Everyone seems to be too busy to even notice that awkward interaction, or the lack of, yet you still feel embarrassed and pissed by the way he just acted. And it's like the world mocks you because behind Jungkook is Ester, getting out of the caravan with packs of meat in her hands as Jungkook helps her. You watch their interaction as she shyly smiles at him, thanking him for his help as he smiles back at her and puts the packs down onto the small table prepared for Jin and Hoseok. 

They're already getting to work, surprisingly engaging Yoongi in a conversation as it seems he's helping them with cooking. Mentally fuming, you consider asking him for help but you know he would just ignore you or worse. 

“That one is yours.” Taehyung informs you, pointing at the unpacked tent tossed on the ground before he focuses on setting up theirs. He starts cursing while Jimin clutches to his stomach, laughing at Taehyung's distress. 

Glancing around, you find Jungkook and Ester building a tent together. You're not sure how he sorted out their tent situation and with whom she's sharing it. Not that you care.

Watching them setting it up makes your blood boil and you force yourself to look away with a clenched jaw. Not only do you see them right in front of you, you're left all alone with no help. You're not totally incompetent, so you get to work – mentally cursing at Yoongi for not even caring about helping you, not that it surprises you. At least it seems he's getting along with the guys. 

After a few minutes, it seems like you're doing a good job but you're not quite sure what step to do next. Sighing under your breath, you toss one of the poles on the ground. 

“Need help?”

Looking up, you find Jungkook with two bottles of sparkling water, holding them in one hand, tattooed fingers wrapped around its neck.

The tone he uses is cold and it's enough for you to feel too prideful to accept his shitty attempt to help you.

“No.” You respond with the same tone, looking away.

“Fine, suit yourself.”

Your jaw drops to the floor. You watch him walking away, joining Ester in front of their ready tent they've set up together as he hands her the bottle of water. Fucking– 

You did tell him no. He didn't even greet you and now he tried to help you? If that can even be considered as helping you because his attempt was surely poor.

“Do you need help? Maya said you're struggling.” Namjoon asks, standing next to you as he shoots you a dimpled smile as you glance at Maya who's setting up their sleeping bags. 

She shoots you a thumbs up with a big grin as you put your lips into a thin line. “Yes, thank you.”

Namjoon has your tent ready in less than five minutes, you've let him do his own thing since it seems like you're getting in way more than helping. Thanking him, you finally join the others while he goes to help struggling Taehyung and Jimin.

It's when Jungkook and Ester go fetch the water together, someone already gets curious even though they must've been informed about her coming too. “Are the two of them dating?” Jin asks curiously, flipping the beef.

“What? No, they're just friends.” Taehyung answers, giving you a glance which you bravely ignore, equally as Jimin's side glance. 

“Really? For how long? I've never seen her before.” Jin wonders loudly as this time, he looks at you completely oblivious to the argument you and Jungkook had, clearly asking the question since you're his best friend. 

“For like five minutes?” you mutter pettily, hearing Taehyung snort as Jimin nudges him.

Your little remark catches Jin's attention as he looks up again, giving you a weird look just as Hoseok does the same. You clear your throat, swallowing down the embarrassment at your obvious jab. 

“Just recently.” Taehyung tries to rescue you. Luckily the guys redirect their attention elsewhere and the topic of Jungkook's new friendship is no longer discussed. 

Much to your surprise, Yoongi seems to be getting along with Hoseok the most. The two of them have been talking for hours, in fact, you're not quite sure if you've seen Yoongi talking this much. Even his grumpy mood seems to go aside as you're a witness of his grin or anything that's not a frown or a glare. At least he's enjoying his time here. Not that you're not but things feel weird with Jungkook right there when you're successfully ignoring each other.

If any of them noticed it, and you know they did, they don't question it. 

“I see you still haven't talked.” Maya says after you've finished having a quick bite. 

Taehyung just proposed to go to the lake to cool down, since the heat seems to not be coming down even with the sun slowly setting. You and Maya are inside the caravan for some privacy as she walks around the corner in a bikini. You're still wearing your clothes, wondering if you even want to get into the water.

“No.” you confirm, looking away as she gives you a pitiful gaze with a pout. 

“Maybe you should talk to him.” 

Your head snaps in her direction, causing her to chuckle as she puts her hands up in surrender. Sighing, you relax as you scratch your cheek. “I'll just enjoy my time here.”

“You better start because you've been grumpy since you came here.” Maya signs out, cackling when you toss her shirt at her. 

In the distance, you can already hear others laugh followed by water splashing. “Wait up for me. I'll be right back.” you tell her, snatching your swimsuit as she salutes you, shooting you another smirk. 

The white swimsuit you've chosen this time is pretty casual, not revealing too much but still wraps your figure nicely. The top of your breasts are shown but besides that, it's pretty decent. You didn't make the same mistake like the last time, forgetting to pack one and you put it in your bag just in case. You're glad you did.

You don't necessarily feel nervous about wearing a swimsuit in front of the guys, but there is something sitting in the pit of your stomach when you look at yourself in the mirror, trying to see if anything is peeking out. This is the first time they will see you wearing it. It's not a big deal. You're not insecure about your body, even though it depends on the situation. Regardless of that, you don't show it off. There haven't been many opportunities for Jimin and Taehyung to see you in one. You don't count Jungkook since he has seen you naked, which can't be compared to wearing a freaking swimsuit or bikini.

It does feel slightly weird to come out of the caravan revealing more skin. Maya on the other hand looks completely unbothered. Maybe you should take her as an example. She's showing more skin than you do and she doesn't look as if she cares about anyone. 

Like you said, it's not about insecurity but knowing you're revealing yourself to them more than ever. Having their eyes on you and all that… You're being silly. They're your friends and you know they're no perverts. The problem is in you but you decide not to pay attention to it any longer, the heat slowly killing you as you can't wait to get into the water. 

“You're not coming?” you ask Yoongi, finding him still helping Jin and Hoseok with the cooking.

You catch their attention, their eyes respectively moving back to their task as they start discussing something relevant to food.

“Not a chance.” Yoongi replies, scrunching his nose as he looks at the nearby lake.

Chuckling at his evident displeasure, you don't comment on it but still ask. “You're gonna be fine here?”

He stares for a moment, “Yeah, surprisingly your friends aren't that bad.” he replies shamelessly and you gasp, ready to scold him about his impoliteness because there's no way Seokjin and Hoseok haven't caught that.

But much to your shock, they cackle at Yoongi's remark. “Yah, be good to us!” Jin says jokingly while Hoseok laughs while you stare at them dumbfounded. They act like they've been friends for years. 

Giving them a side glance, you consider this conversation done as you join Maya who's been waiting for you. You both walk toward the lake, seeing the rest of the group already there. What makes your breath hitch is not the amount of naked chests and abs you get to see – even though that's a sight to see – it's none other than Jungkook himself. He's in the water that's reaching up to his waist. His black hair wet as he shakes his head, droplets of water flying around him before he brushes his fingers through it. His tattooed arm is on full display as you swallow dryly, slowly averting your gaze to Maya who's gawking just as much as you do.

“Well fuck.” 

“Maya.” you frown, her eyes slowly and not very willingly shifting to you. 

“What,” she mutters. “Joon, baby!” she calls out to Namjoon who's getting out of water, grinning at his girlfriend. 

You raise a brow at her when she glances at you with a grin. 

“What, he would understand. He’s my boyfriend and I love him .”

She rushes to Namjoon as he hugs her, wetting her dry skin as she squeals his name and lets him attack her with kisses all over her face. Cute . Hand in hand, they both get to water together as the loving couple is in their own world. Great .

Stepping closer and taking a good glance at your surroundings, you spot Ester sitting on a towel still in her clothes and a book on her lap. She's not reading though, looking at the guys with a tiny smile. A bucket hat shields her face and head from the heat.

Seeing her like this, alone makes you feel bad for her. You know your stupid annoyance and jealousy is not her fault. God, you're such an idiot. You're close to dropping to your knees and apologizing to her, that's how desperate you're starting to feel. From the looks of it, she doesn't seem to know about what happened between you and Jungkook which makes you feel better. You would feel like the biggest asshole if she knew.

“Are you not going?” you ask softly, catching her attention as she sees you pointing at the lake. 

“Ah, no. I didn't bring a swimsuit but it doesn't matter. I'm not a big fan of water anyway.” She smiles warmly.

You're not sure if that's a lie or not. Apart from Jungkook whom she's friends with, she obviously knows Taehyung and Jimin but they're not very close, she's here with strangers. Not just any woman would be comfortable wearing a swimsuit in front of others when this is her first time meeting them.

“You sure? We could borrow you a shirt or something.” you propose, her face showing you gratitude as she gives you a tiny giggle. 

“No, it's alright. I can't swim, don't want to risk it. But maybe I'll dip my toes in later. This heat makes my skin melt.”

You chuckle, nodding in understanding. For some reason, you still linger around. “Are you…” She looks at you again, tilting her head up in curiosity. You clear your throat before offering her an unsure smile. “Are you having fun so far?” 

“Oh, yes!” she beams happily. “Everyone is so nice to me. I'm happy to be here. Thank you for letting me join.”

Your stomach drops and your smile falters, the corners of your lips almost shaking. Idiot, idiot, idiot. You're so mad at yourself. She's such a nice girl and here you are, feeling like a total dick because you made a scene about her joining you. Couldn’t she be a bitch? It would certainly make things easier for you. 

“Of course.” you feign a smile, your voice tiny.

“Oh!” She lets out, patting the space around her as she searches for something until she finds it. “I've got sunscreen here. Do you wanna borrow it?” 

You mentally groan at her kindness. “Thank you, that would be great. I forgot mine in the bag.” 

She hands it to you, grabbing her book as you stare at her for a moment, the corners of your mouth threatening to turn downwards at your own stupidity. You start applying it, starting with your legs and you do that for a while until your name is called behind you. Turning around, you find Yoongi walking toward you with a displeased expression. You almost want to laugh at how grumpy he suddenly looks. 

“They've sent you guys this to drink.” Oh, right . A pack of bottles of water in his hand.

“Aw, you came all the way here to give us these?” you tease him, staring at him as he puts the pack on the ground as he shoots you an annoyed expression. 

“Stop annoying me.” he grumbles and turns around to leave but you stop him.

You hear some water splashing again, along with Jimin's contagious laugh but you grab the sunscreen again and shove it in Yoongi's direction. It all seems to be bad timing because just as you're opening your mouth, Jungkook walks in your direction, staring at the grass beneath his feet. 

“Can you apply this on my back?” 

Just as you ask this, Jungkook's head lifts up and he's literally two meters away from you as he stops next to Ester. Your eyes meet for a split second but you quickly glance at Yoongi, finding him frowning at your request and the sunscreen in your hand. Meanwhile Jungkook reaches for his own towel that you've failed to notice before. He runs it over his hair to dry them off as he wipes the droplets of water off his forehead. 

Yoongi's eyes shift between your hand and eyes. “Do I really have to?”

You're gonna kill this man. 

“Yes.” you say through clenched teeth, shoving it to his chest as he shifts backwards a little. Then his eyes fall behind you, undoubtedly staring at Jungkook before his lips curl into a tiny smirk. 

Yoongi motions for you to turn around and you do, right met with Jungkook's eyes as he shamelessly stares at your face. You're so surprised that you momentarily freeze on the spot before you shake yourself out of it. 

“You good?” Jungkook asks Ester, both of them having a conversation right next to you and Yoongi as he starts applying the sunscreen on your shoulders. 

“Yes! Thank you again for inviting me. This place is so peaceful, this is definitely better than just hanging out in Seoul.” she smiles which makes Jungkook chuckle in return. But he has the audacity to stare you dead in the eyes right after.

You know what he's doing. He knows you heard her.

“Trouble in paradise?” Yoongi whispers into your ear as you mildly flinch. 

“Fuck off.”

“I will take that as a yes,” he muses behind you which makes you roll your eyes. “Your boyfriend is not so secretive with the glares.”

“Shut up.” 

You both know Jungkook doesn't like him. Actually, they don't like each other especially after their last encounter which you're glad didn't end up with a fist fight. It seems like Yoongi finds it amusing. He is a little shit after all, maybe he's enjoying this more than you thought.

“Ow, don't be so harsh!” you suddenly scold the man behind you when he slaps the sunscreen into your skin. He's not very tender with it. 

“I thought you liked it harsh .” he jokes, pinching your hip but that's the least of your worries when your eyes fall automatically on Jungkook. What the hell is Yoongi doing?

He glares the shit out of Yoongi, tossing his towel on the ground not too tenderly either which makes Ester surprised. 

“Can you two take it somewhere else?” he questions, eyes dark even under the bright sunlight. His tone has an edge to it, though he still makes it sound as if he's asking the most casual thing. 

You can't seem to react, too stunned to speak. 

“No, we're done here.” Yoongi muses, turning you around as he hands you the sunscreen back. He shoots you a wink before he retrieves back and walks back to the camping space. 

You thank Ester for her sunscreen, putting it on her beach bag as she smiles at you, clearly sensing the weird atmosphere in the air but she tries to not react. 

“Is he your boyfriend?” she asks innocently suddenly, asking timidly as if she's scared her head is going to be bitten off.

Before you can answer, not hiding your disgust and surprise, Jungkook scoffs under his breath which makes you frown. “Do you have a problem, Jungkook ?” you say his name with an attitude which makes him rub his finger under his nose as he scoffs again. 

He faces you with a straight face, running his hand over his hair again. You ignore him, ignoring the handsome motherfucker as you turn to Ester and give her your sweetest smile. “No, he's just my friend.” 

Glancing at Jungkook again, you find him giving you an amusing expression. Fucker . You both know Yoongi isn't exactly your friend. You're not even sure how you should categorize him other than your co-worker. He finds it all amusing. He lives for your pettiness because you both know it was the reason why you invited him in the first place. But Jungkook has to give it to you. You've managed to convince him. 

“What?” you ask in a deadpan manner at Jungkook. “Actually, no. Don't answer that. If you have any problem, take it somewhere else.” you feign the sweetest smile, not hiding your face from him when it drops as you make your way to the lake.

You can feel Jungkook's glare burning your back. It's safe to say it burns more than the sun above you. 

Despite your previous interaction with Jungkook, you're trying to enjoy your time here as much as you can. It's tough, the whole situation sits bitterly in the back of your mind and whatever you do, it's just right there . Just like he is. You can't exactly avoid him, it's impossible since you're on this trip together. Whenever you look, he is right there. It's even tougher to ignore his presence, but you two do it successfully and minus the weird stares you get from your friends, nobody seems to question the tension between you and him. 

All of you get called to eat after the fun at the lake. The talking never stops, it's almost impossible with this many people and you're glad for that. No attention is turned to you and Jungkook, so it helps with all the embarrassment of them having to witness you two ignoring each other. 

“Do you guys know the gender?” Hoseok asks Seokjin, lips pursed as he munches on the food they prepared.

Seokjin just ended a call with his wife a few minutes ago. She was kind enough to say hi to everyone when he put her on speaker. That's what has sparked the conversation of their soon to be changed life.

“Ah, so,” Jin sits upright as he wipes his mouth with a napkin. “Jia's cousin was pregnant and they told her she's expecting a boy. Turned out to be a girl in the end,” he chuckles as do some of you. “We've known the gender for a while, we just didn't reveal it. In case–you know. It's silly but yeah.”

“Okay, I know shit about babies let alone pregnancies. But aren't those scans pretty accurate?” Taehyung asks with a full mouth, not even looking at Jin as he stares into his plate, too hungry to engage himself in this conversation more. You hide your smile. 

“I'm more interested in how you know about this.” Jimin teases, laughing when Taehyung flips him off effortlessly.

“Yeah, they are accurate most of the time but there are cases when it's mistaken.” Jin answers casually. “Anyway, we're expecting a little boy.”

The reaction is not what you would see if more women would be around. It's actually funny how the guys stay casual about it, some of them slightly gasping before nodding while the others just congrats. There are no squeals of happiness and excitement you see amongst women and the whole moment is amusing to you. Yet, you can feel they're happy for Jin in their own way as they congratulate him with wide and warm grins.

“Do you have any names?” Namjoon asks, engaging himself in the conversation as he puts more food into his mouth.

“No. It's so fucking hard to name another person.” Jin whines a little, laughing at his despair as some of the guys join. 

“You'll find the one when the time comes, Jin.” Namjoon assures him, squeezing his shoulder in support as the older smiles before he takes a sip of his beer. 

Namjoon takes the topic of conversation elsewhere as he asks about everyone's plans, not forgetting to mention he wants to go, of course, hiking. Apparently he has found a new spot and he would like to check it out tomorrow preferably. He asks who wants to join and you have to bite back a grin when Yoongi silently scrunches his nose, remaining silent as Hoseok, Jimin, Jin and Jungkook along with Ester agree to go. Maya watches him admirably, smiling at him because everyone most likely finds him and his love for nature adorable. Either way, he likes to stay active by walking long paths and mountains which can't be said about Yoongi and Taehyung. 

Either way, Taehyung likes to stay active in a different way and mountains can't give it to him. The last time you remember when you went hiking on last year's trip, he kept complaining along with you.

Seokjin goes to grab another beer for himself, silently excusing himself from the group. You do the same thing when Hoseok mentions something about snacks and you offer to go. He smiles at you in gratitude before he complains about the heat, fanning his face with his cap. 

“Get me one too, yeah?” Yoongi mumbles to you when you pass him, angling his head while he stays seated. 

“Get one yourself.” you reply, wanting to cackle when you see his little glare. Snickering, you poke the side of his head and happily jump away when he goes to slap your hand, frowning because he doesn't succeed. 

You both know you're going to get him the beer anyway. 

When you're inside the caravan, you find Seokjin opening the fridge as he pulls out a full six pack of beer. You exchange little smiles as you go gather the other things. 

“Are you having fun?” Jin asks, filling the silence as he sets the beer on a small counter, showing no interest in leaving. 

“Yeah, don't I look like it?” you chuckle, causing him to do the same.

There's a bit of silence while you rummage through a cabinet, grabbing some snacks for Hoseok not knowing which ones he specifically wants. You get one of each, some of the guys will want to share it for sure. 

“So… Yoongi,” he starts, chuckling when he sees you looking up at him, raising a brow in question.

“Yeah?”

“Interesting guy.”

That causes you to straighten up. “Did he say something? God, I'm gonna kill him if he was rude to you or–”

“No, no,” Seokjin assures you, rubbing his nose as he chuckles deeply. “He's actually nice.”

That makes you snicker and you try to hide it but there's no point. Seokjin's eyes are on you and you're pretty sure his ears are completely fine too. The look of amusement on his face is enough to let you know he has heard and seen. 

“Is he your friend?” 

Is he? You don't know yourself. Well, he's here but that doesn't make him a friend, does it? You still can't believe you've managed to convince him to come. It's not for free though. You can't forget that and fuck, you don't want to think about the next two months and what is expected of you. 

“... yeah.”

Seokjin snorts loudly, clearing his throat to collect himself. “That didn't sound convincing.” 

“What do you want me to say?” you laugh, “We work together.” 

“Oh, yeah he mentioned that.”

That makes your brows raise in curiosity. “Mentioned?”

“Yeah, we sort of played detectives on him with Hobi,” he jokes, “We were curious.”

He has a headband to keep his long dark hair off his face. It sharpens his brows and features.

“Don't worry, he was lovely.”

“That's… hard to believe.” you mutter more to  yourself.

“So, he's not your boyfriend then?”

Your eyes almost jump out of their sockets as you abruptly clear your throat. “Oh my god, no. Why would you think that?” you exclaim, causing him to laugh at your distressed face.

You actually know why. It certainly made some of them wonder if Yoongi truly is your friend only. Little do they know. It actually amuses you right after it disgusted you though. 

“Sorry, I just wondered. I hope you don't find me too nosy or annoying. He's actually nice, we had a good chat with him.”

You ignore the compliments about the most annoying person you know, shaking your head slightly to assure him that it's okay. “No, he's just a friend.”

“And Jungkook doesn't like him?”

That makes your eyes snap to him abruptly, raising your brows before you breathe out a shaky laugh. “Why would you think that?” 

“Come on, it doesn't take much to notice it.”

Your cheeks heat up in embarrassment. The face you make causes him to widen his eyes in a mere panic, shaking his hands as if to stop your embarrassment. 

“I just meant they never talk. Not that it matters, shit, forgot I even said anything.” 

You laugh out loud, “It's fine. They're not buddies, that's true.”

He nods in understatement. ”Well, I think he's a great guy so far. Bring him next time too.”

Yeah, like that will ever happen. 

You shoot him a smile though, “Sure.” 

The door of the caravan opens, Taehyung's fluffy hair is the first thing you see. “What's taking you guys so long?” he complains before even properly shutting the door. 

“We're coming.” You roll your eyes.

“Are you gossiping here without me?”

Seokjin grabs his stuff, brushing past Taehyung but not before patting his shoulder mockingly. “We would never dare to do that, Tae.” And then he leaves, leaving Taehyung with an amused grin.

“Fucker.” he mumbles.

Laughing a little, you start gathering your things. Since he's here, you might as well use his help. But your friend seems to have a different plan because as you look up, ready to ask him to grab some of the things, you find him leaning against the wall with a smug grin. 

“What?” you ask uninterested. 

“I get it you and Jungkook haven't talked yet.”

Sighing, you lean your lower back against the provisional counter. “If you take childish remarks as talking, then yes.”

“You're kidding.”

Chuckling, you shake your head. “No. We had a little… I don't even know what to call it, banter? Doesn't sound right… Anyway, it happened when we were at the lake.”

“No way!” he exclaims, “And I missed that?”

Taehyung's grin turns even more cheeky when he sees the look of annoyance on your face. He straightens himself, scratching his temple. Whatever Taehyung thinks about this whole argument between you and Jungkook, he only shows his amusement for it.

“Did Jin ask about Kook?”

“No, not about that specifically. I mean, none of these people are blind, right?”

He snorts silently, “You and Kook are usually very talkative and affectionate, of course they see something's wrong. But hey, at least they're not putting you in a spot, right?”

“It's not any of their business, is it?”

“That's true too.” he hums.

“We talked about Yoongi,” you say after a moment. “With Jin, I mean.”

“Oh,” Taehyung sounds surprised. “He's kinda nice, no? Grumpy for my taste but none of us is perfect.” 

That makes you giggle as you nod in agreement. “He does seem to be more… relaxed and talkative than usual.” 

“God, can't imagine how he is at work.”

“You don't want to know that.”

You both start laughing. Taehyung is not clueless about your co-worker's specific personality. Not just him, but the three of them had to listen to you complaining about him a few times. You would get so heated up, that in a way it was their source of entertainment. 

“Come on, let's go.” Taehyung motions his head toward the door, but not before he goes to you and helps you without you asking for it. 

With an appreciative look, you both get out of the caravan and bring the drinks and snacks to the table. Just as you're putting it down, you lift up your gaze finding Jungkook looking sideways as he empties the rest of his beer can. He crumples the aluminum and tosses it to the bag that's intended for trash. The last thing you notice is the way he tongues his cheek, jaw sharp and clenched, before you go back to your seat.

After everyone's stomachs are full, Maya and Namjoon decide to go on a walk and explore the surroundings a little. Politely, they ask if anyone wants to join and they're met with heads shaking. You're sure they wanted some alone time anyway. 

You and Hoseok clean the small table and gather all the trash, which he goes to throw away. You've been here for a couple of hours and you've managed to fill up the whole trash bag. Ester helps a little too, before she goes inside the caravan because apparently, the heat is not doing her well. You ignore the moment when Jungkook asks her if she needs anything, attentive and caring as always. You ignore Taehyung's subtle smirk that he barely hides when your glances meet in the midst of it. 

And Yoongi? 

The man annoys you to the core. Not only has he barely moved since he came here – which wouldn't be that big of a problem at all – but he doesn't even ask if you need help when you go to the car to grab blankets and sleeping bags for the two of you. You're not able to grab everything anyway, leaving you to grab a piece of each. But when you call out his name, ignoring the little frown on his lips, he finally lifts up his ass and walks up to you. 

“What are you doing?” he asks.

“What does it look like?” you mutter under your breath, already annoyed. “Sorting out our tent?” 

The second you say that, it's not the tone you use that causes Yoongi to almost choke on his spit, but it's what you say. Then his expression relaxes and he lets out a humorous chuckle. “Our?”

You raise your brows and give him a duh look. “Yes?” you ask with an equally dumb tone. “Where did you think you were going to sleep?”

“Not with you!” he exclaims, grasping everyone's attention with his overly dramatic reaction and including Jungkook's who's showing something on his phone to Jimin. It's enough that they both look up from the device, undoubtedly hearing Yoongi. 

“Feel free to sleep under the bare sky, then.” You shrug your shoulders, dismissing him and the gasp he lets out. 

“Are you serious right now?” He grabs your forearm, stopping you in your tracks. “You dragged me here and never told me about this. I thought I had–I don't know, fucking space where I can sleep. Alone.”

“Oh, don't flatter yourself. Is that such a big deal? The tent is big enough for both–”

He lifts his palm up to shush you, currently reliving his life crisis while Jimin timidly approaches the two of you. 

“I don't mean to butt in, but there should be one space free in the caravan.” 

“What? I thought we're out of tents and space.” Confused is what you are. 

“Uh, yeah. There are two single beds in the caravan, Hobi and Ester are staying there. But Ester said she's fine sleeping in a tent if someone wants to sleep inside. Maybe she could share a tent with you?”

Jimin sounds unsure, his attention fully on your expression as you look behind him and find Jungkook staring right back at you. Irritation stirs inside you.

“Caravan sounds better than a tent, anyway.” Yoongi replies.

“Why does she not share it with her friend?” you question instead, fully ignoring Yoongi who carefully eyes you and Jungkook with his sharp eyes. You know Jungkook has heard you, your voice has grown an octave higher and he scoffs loudly enough for you to hear. 

“Why don't you share it with yours?” he questions back, your jaw almost on the floor. You catch yourself just at the right time.

“I don't like camping that much.” Yoongi butts in, voice indifferent.

“Why did you come then?” Jungkook presses, clearly showing his inhospitality. This banter causes Jin to stand up, trying to see what's going on while seated Hoseok tugs on his arm.

“To piss you off apparently.” Yoongi shoots right back and you rub your forehead.

“That's not… that's not why he came.” You try to clarify to everyone. Stupid Min Yoongi! Why can't he keep his mouth shut? 

“Not apparently, it's pretty clear.” Jungkook talks back and you facepalm yourself, just as Jimin tries to get control of this situation. 

“Alright, everyone, let's take a breather. No need for any fights here.”

“I'm not fighting.”  

Both of them speak at the same time.

“Let her deal with it, Jimin-ah.” Jungkook says and you can only gape at the audacity. 

“Let me deal with it?” you exclaim over Jimin's shoulder, glaring right at Jungkook who literally laughs in your face with that sarcastic grin. 

“Yeah. Why should Ester lose her spot because of your friend? You should've arranged it for your friend, just like I did for her.”

Both of you are so fucking petty, but you're not backing down and just as you fume, Jimin squeezes your shoulder to comfort you, but it only does so little. 

“Yeah, you've arranged a lot of things.” you sarcastically remark, seeing him stare deadly at you as he clenches his jaw. 

“God, you're like kids in a candy store.” Yoongi exhales exhaustedly. “I'm gonna sleep in the fucking tent.” He is genuinely exhausted, despite his vulgarism, his tone is calm and tired. He thinks of this topic to be dealt with, but he doesn't know how stubborn you and Jungkook are. And petty. Childish too, but he probably figured that out by now.

“I'm sure you won't mind that.” Jungkook says, causing Jimin to sigh as you start scoffing loudly, not believing his words. To some, it might be just a remark but you know exactly what he's hinting at. He's making you a payback for your earlier remark. It's back and forth between you.

It makes Jimin clasp his hands tightly. “Thank you, Yoongi. These two can be difficult sometimes.”

Not that Yoongi himself wasn't difficult. If he never said anything about sharing a tent with you, you wouldn't be here and having a glaring contest with Jungkook. And you ignore how fucking hot he looks while being worked up. But all you want is to strangle him. 

Yoongi shrugs his shoulders, walking away to join Jin and Hoseok, but you don't see their reaction. Jimin eyes you and Jungkook equally, motioning for Jungkook to come closer. He scoffs but then Jimin says through clenched teeth; “Get here.”

Jungkook glares but listens. Jimin wraps his arms around your and Jungkook's shoulders, pulling you closer to his body. So close that you can smell Jungkook's freaking aftershave and overall scent. It does make you slightly regret opening your mouth. The scent is too nostalgic and it's making you sad.

Jimin forces himself to smile as he inhales a long breath. “I can see how you two are handling this perfectly.” 

You tense. He's talking about the conversation you previously had at Taehyung's place. 

Jungkook shrugs off Jimin's arm around his shoulders, walking away with his jaw locked in irritation. You realize your own jaw is clenched, ignoring Jimin's burning gaze to the side of your face before his arm loosens up. He walks away, leaving you to your thoughts that don't last too long. You occupy yourself by finishing your previous task, tossing the other blanket and sleeping bag rather aggressively into your tent.

Taehyung comes back from whatever place he was, wearing a new shirt.

“What did I miss?” he asks everyone.

He's met with silence. 

Everything and everyone bounces back from the stunt you and Jungkook have pulled. Except the two of you, of course. It might be because they don't want to make things awkward or known , or they simply don't want a trip full of drama. That's where the guilt comes again. The idea of ruining everyone's time here because of your own drama upsets you. What upsets you the most though, is obviously your current relationship with Jungkook.

Ignoring each other has continued right after he walked away as it’s continuing when everyone gathers around the campfire. The mood is positive, alive and even pleasant. It's not different from the last time you were here, and you're sure it's not any different from all the trips they experienced together. There's chattering and laughter, whether it's in a small group or almost everyone, accompanied with more alcohol and food.

The campfire lits your surroundings, keeping you warm as the sun has set a few hours ago and there's a moon above your heads. Therefore you've changed to a pair of old sweats and oversized hoodie, looking similarly to everyone else. You and Maya have been talking alone, letting the guys and Ester have their own conversation. For once, you're glad she doesn't bring up Jungkook again and instead shows you the venue of their wedding. That's what gets your attention for most parts and you're glad from the nice distraction. 

At least you don't have to avoid the direction of where Jungkook's sitting, even though his voice always finds you as he hangs out with his friends. You don't want to wonder how it would be if things were okay between you. You would've laughed with him, or would have something to say when he talks about a convenience store snack, one whose name he can't remember but you do. 

A group of two always leave to take a shower and do their night routine in the nearby building that's a part of the campsite. You've done it the last time too. It's one of the pros of this place. You get to spend a night or two sleeping outside, while still being able to use their services. It's approximately five minutes of walking, still out of sight though since you're surrounded by nearby trees. It leaves enough privacy for you as a group. There are other campsites where you literally have “neighbors” within a few feet away from each other. You're glad about this spot the guys have found. 

Since Yoongi doesn't know this place and literally anyone else could show him, you take it as your responsibility to be the one since you're the one who invited him in the first place. You've known him the longest. It wouldn't be nice to send someone else with him. Not that he seems to care, mindlessly grabbing his small bag of toiletries as you do the same. You're not going to waste the time by waiting for him. You might as well take a shower too. 

The walk there is quiet. No words are exchanged. You look for the right words, but you can't find anything. That leaves you to be silent until you reach the medium sized cabin, showing him the men's bathrooms after greeting the elder man at the desk. 

Much to your surprise, you're the first one who finishes first. For a moment you wonder if Yoongi has already left. You somehow thought you're going to wait for each other, even though he knows the way back by now. It leaves you curious so you ask the man if he has seen Yoongi leaving. He shakes his head and continues to check through some papers he hides behind the desk. You stay seated at the small rest area with two sofas.

Shortly after, Yoongi comes out with wet hair wearing white shirt and simple black sweatpants. He spots you, not showing any kind of emotion but you would've guessed he's surprised to see you waiting for him.

“Finished?” you question, standing up as he gives you a nod. 

Walking outside, you're met with fresh air and luckily for everyone, tonight seems to be warm. The constant silence does make you slightly uncomfortable, or perhaps it's the need to say something. Anything. 

“I'm sorry for dragging you here.”

Not sure where that came from, you stare ahead as you can detect his eyes on you. Yoongi is a tough guy to convince about anything. Deep down you're aware that you had a deal and if he truly didn't want to come, he wouldn't agree to it. It's because you look back to the earlier incident and you do feel bad for dragging him into it. 

“I am not.” he replies, leaving you wide-eyed as you glance at him.

“You're not?”

“No,” he says simply. “Maybe I'm no fan of nature and camping, but it's nice to get out of the city. Besides, some of your friends are nice.”

You roll your eyes at the emphasis, knowing exactly who he's talking about. You bite the inside of your cheek to prevent yourself from saying that Jungkook isn't bad. He is not. He is definitely not a bad person. You know you're the reason why Jungkook was never fond of Yoongi in the first place. He has always had your back, so when he heard you complaining about one specific co-worker that can be extremely rude and grumpy, he was having none of it. Then it's the obvious tension between them.

Both of them don't know when to keep their mouths shut. Not that you're one to talk. It's like they can't help it but get a rise of each other whenever there's a chance. You think it might have to do something with male ego. 

“I almost can't believe they're your friends.”

Snapping your head in his direction, he notices your glare without even looking at you as a playful smile plays on his lips. It leaves you huffing in return. 

“I guess I'm just embarrassed about earlier.” you continue the conversation, ignoring his way of teasing.

“As you should,” he hums and you gasp. “What? The two of you act like little kids.”

Like he's one to talk! “You were provoking him too, Yoongi. And don't say you didn't because you did and you know it.”

The corner of his mouth twitches. “Maybe.”

You huff out, chuckling at his answer mostly in disbelief. “You two are like kids too.” you mutter.

“Hold on, he's reactive too. He's not afraid to say shit. He's infuriating just as he's hot.”

You start coughing immediately.

“I'm gonna ignore that you just said he's hot.”

Yoongi shrugs with a grin, amused by your reaction and mostly the way your nose twitches. 

“Plus, you really are provoking him. I thought you liked it rough ,” you mimic his voice, “Seriously? What were you thinking?”

“I was just messing around!” he exclaims, laughing shortly after.

“It's not funny!” you exclaim back, nudging his side as he barely falters, grin still intact on his lips. “That's not just messing around.” you whine a little.

“Come on, it was worth it. The look on his face.” he continues to joke and you whine again. 

“This is not some contest of who pisses off the other more, Yoongi. It's already hard that me and him–” you sigh, “Are not on good terms. I don't want you to get into a fight. You're pushing his buttons.”

“Are you warning me?” he laughs.

“No!” you exclaim, “Jungkook isn't like that .” Aggressive, is what you mean. “But I wouldn't put it past him. You really are pushing his buttons.”

“Didn't he punch your ex before?” He feigns uncertainty, tapping his chin lightly. “That doesn't sound nonaggressive.” 

“Because he slutshamed me, I told you that.” you justify with a remember? Tone.

“Anyway,” He dismisses you. “You two should talk. Like adults.”

Trust me, I know. 

Surprisingly, he doesn't tease you when he's met with silence that says everything.

By the time all of you sit at the campfire, right after everyone went to clean themselves, you're not even sure what time it is. You've left your phone in one of your bags, not bothering to check any messages knowing there's no one who would contact you. Your family knows you're away during the weekend, therefore they won't call you unless you do. Using your phone while being surrounded by nature and enjoying the weekend from all the hectic noise, crowded places and busy traffic sounds illegal. It's nice to see others not having their noses stuck in phone screens. 

It is something you've always appreciated while hanging out with them. Not that you're against using phones, not at all. You've seen Seokjin calling Jia countless times, making sure everything is alright back home and so is she. That you can absolutely understand.

As much as you get a little compulsion to browse through the internet, anything to make you distracted enough to not think about you and Jungkook. You've decided not to do that. There are other ways of not acknowledging him, even though it's been hard.

It seems like everyone has told you to talk to him. You're exaggerating. It was only Jimin… and even freaking Min Yoongi! Well, it's not like you don't know that. You two should really talk and get things right before you ruin this trip, but mostly importantly ruin your friendship. This is not one of the arguments that could possibly break or ruin it. You don't want to think about it because that possibility scares you.

But you're still hurt. Hurt enough not wanting to talk about it right now. Even if it means you and him ignore each other for the rest of the trip. It's not ideal, far from it actually. You've imagined this trip differently. He did too, surely. 

Stubbornness does the trick.

So you sit, letting the fire warm your cheeks as you laugh here and there at whatever is said funnily.

“Truth or dare?” Taehyung proposes when you're out of things to talk, having one of his arms lazily draped over his lap. He's wearing shorts, feeling too warm to wear something longer since the alcohol is naturally warming up his body. 

Of course he proposes this game. He always does. If it's not truth or dare specifically, it's always something that makes you drink more.

He must be feeling adventurous, considering Hoseok's and Jin's faces are already red. Namjoon had to stop drinking half an hour ago because the alcohol in his system was starting to show up. Maya doesn't care though, she drinks more than her boyfriend, clearly able to hold more alcohol than him. She's giggly and clutches to her boyfriend's side, who showers her with a dimpled smile from time to time. 

“Or never have I ever?” he wiggles his brows.

The horrific memories of playing that stupid game makes you open your mouth before you realize. “Hell no.”

Taehyung snickers, clearly amused by the evident aversion. “Then truth or dare?”

No one seems to share the same opinion like you, and you're left disappointed when hums and words of approval and excitement resound around the fire. Taehyung ignores your narrowed eyes and displeasure he sees across the fire, having a good view of it. 

“Great!” He's already preparing drinks for everyone, making sure everyone has one in their hand while looking excited for any possible embarrassing moments, or even drama you know he loves. He looks like a little kid on Christmas. 

You don't care, stuffing your hands into the pockets of your hoodie as you shift further down your seat. Your cheeks are warm, both from fire and beer you've drank. You're not getting tired which means you're not tipsy or drunk yet.

“Isn't it a game for teenagers?” You hear Yoongi grumble beside you, making you crack a smile. Surprisingly, he still holds his drink and seems to join the game anyway. 

Taehyung calls your name, gaining not only yours but everyone's attention. “The beer.” he chirps in, reminding you. You swallow down the annoyance as you lick your lips.

“I'm not playing.” you simply state, ignoring the eyes of others on you. No one here would judge you for not playing some stupid game. You know that. It does feel slightly uncomfortable to feel their eyes on you at this moment, plus there's undeniable surprise and even curiosity in some of them. 

“What, why?” Taehyung whines like you – not playing – ruins the entire game. 

Well, it might have. You feel like you have a lot of tea to bring to the table. Or fire, if you want to be more accurate. Taehyung can be a little shit though. He knows many things. With him being tipsy, you're not quite sure what he would ask. You've got to be careful around him.

“Because you ask a bunch of shit every time.” you reply casually.

Taehyung's brows raise in a feign offense, knowing something like this wouldn't offend him in the first place. It's the little chuckle you hear from one specific direction, one you've been avoiding for the entire evening. Before you realize it, you're already looking in Jungkook's direction as your gazes meet at the same time. He quickly looks away, clearing his throat as he takes a swig off his beer. 

When you look back at Taehyung, he pouts. “You're no fun. Even Yoongi is playing!”

“Is that supposed to make me wanna play?” You quirk your brow at your friend. 

“I heard his comment! Yet he's still playing.” Taehyung grins as Yoongi shrugs.

“I'm not boring like she is.”

You gasp, huffing beside him. Taehyung laughs, leaving you alone as the game begins.

“Y/N, truth or dare?” Taehyung asks after a few rounds. 

You've had fun, laughed at some ridiculous dares. You've seen Maya licking soju off Namjoon's stomach, leaving him flustered and all red. Jungkook has spanked Seokjin's butt and Jungkook had to do push ups with Ester sitting on his back. The last one didn't exactly leave you laughing for obvious reasons. Ester seemed to loosen up and she giggled all throughout the dare, while Jungkook lifted her weight as if it's nothing. 

“I said I'm not playing.” you grumble, pushing back the burp that wants to be let out. 

“Come on, just one round.” Hoseok chirps in, nudging you in your shoulder gently as you sigh. 

Looking at Taehyung, he gives you a wide smile that makes you roll your eyes. Everyone's in a good mood, not that you aren't, which makes you want to participate at least once. However, it's hard with Taehyung. He's the one asking you a question now. Truth or dare. None of it sounds good to be honest. You're scared of what he might ask.

“Truth.” you answer unsurely.

“Boring.” he sings out, pursing his lips in thought.

“Dare, dare.” You change your mind, not even sure for what reason but there's no going back. 

Taehyung is thinking for a moment. That's good. It means he hasn't thought it through and maybe he will come up with something simple and stupid at the same time. But when Jimin who's sitting beside him tries to help him, the man whispers into his ear as he nods. 

“Alright,” Taehyung claps his hands together. “Go on a walk with Kook.”

The humorous snort that leaves your mouth is unexpected. “Pass.”

Taehyung narrows his eyes, “It's literally the easiest dare there has been so far. Or would you rather do a body shot off Jimin's body?”

“Dude, why off mine?” Jimin reacts.

Taehyung ignores him. “So?”

“The dare is ridiculous.” you comment. 

Even Maya seems interested, nodding at you to accept the dare but you just mentally huff. 

“Don't I have any say in it?” Jungkook grumbles, and you feel how your insides clench in annoyance. 

It does bruise your ego that he clearly showed he doesn't want to do that. Which is unfair because you've shown it first, you've no right to feel that annoyed because of it.

“No,” Taehyung says simply, “Come on you two. Just ten minutes walk in the woods.”

“In the dark? Have you gone mad?” you exclaim.

“Okay, then I've changed my mind. Lick soju off Yoongi's abs.”

“What makes you think he has abs?” 

Yoongi glares at the side of your face as you giggle. “Mean.” You're glad that he doesn't let everyone know that you've seen way more of him.

First of all, you would argue with Taehyung that you've been drinking beer and you're not going to mix a different kind of alcohol. That would leave you sick and there's no need of repetition of you throwing up your guts, like it happened when you were eighteen and had to do it in front of your house, your back then neighbors as your witnesses. 

Second of all, you're actually considering it. Anything other than having to spend time alone with Jungkook. Not now. 

“I've changed my mind. Licking soju off Jungkook's abs.”

You don't comment anything about Jungkook's abs because you know they are very well there. Taehyung knows that. That little shit. 

Trying to stay cool, you let out a humorous laugh, hoping it doesn't sound flustered just like you feel. “You can't keep changing your dare, Tae.”

“That's my final dare. The walk or licking Kook's abs.” He wiggles his brows while Jimin sighs beside Taehyung, obviously not liking Taehyung's second and great idea.

“Maybe you should–”

“So what is it gonna be, love?” Taehyung cuts off Hoseok dismissively. 

You appreciate Hoseok's attempt to save you from this awkward hell.

“Just go take a walk. It's not a bad dare.” Maya butts in and you wish she would keep her mouth shut. She's already tipsy, making it sound like the easiest thing in the world. 

“What if I don't want to?” Jungkook asks, causing you to snap your eyes to him as Ester sitting beside him awkwardly scratches her brow. 

“Yeah, you heard him. He doesn't want to. Not like I want to be alone with him .”

Seokjin sucks in breath, from your peripheral vision Namjoon takes a swing of his beer.

Jungkook scoffs, “Just ask her some shit, Tae.”

“No,” Taehyung says, suddenly frowning as he glares at the two of you. “Raise your asses and go on a fucking walk. Then come back without the attitude and let us enjoy the rest of the fucking night.” 

Your jaw is on the floor. The wood in the fire cracks, almost as if it's just as shocked from his stern tone like the rest of you. You would never expect it from him. That surely left things even more tense and awkward, making you awkwardly shift on your spot. You could argue, or snap back at him for talking to you like this. But seeing everyone's eyes on you, you feel like the biggest idiot. 

You and Jungkook just managed to show more of your drama to them. Clearly everyone knows.

Sighing, you clear the can of beer before standing up. “I'm not promising anything.”

Taehyung then shoots you a thumbs up. “Just a ten minute walk, you two.” He sounds way softer now. You meet Jimin's eyes and he gives you an encouraging nod. 

You walk past Jungkook, turning around when you're out of the circle just to glance at him. He's still sitting, currently having a glare contest with Taehyung before he sighs and stands up abruptly. 

He brushes past you, but not before saying; “Let's go.”

And you follow him. Because it seems like the best idea with everyone's eyes attached to your backs. 

None of you have taken your phones with you, therefore you're walking deeper into the woods in darkness. You don't tell him to slow down while you trail behind him, trying not to trip over anything. Jungkook just keeps walking and walking, and you don't bother to go beside him, keeping your distance as you stay behind him. You wonder if he's just as annoyed by Taehyung's dare just as you. He's a menace. No, both of them are.

Of course Jungkook is annoyed. His reaction to Taehyung's dare is enough of an answer.

But still, you notice from the corner of your eyes Jungkook briefly glancing behind his shoulder, to see if you're still there. That act makes you purse your lips to hide the little smirk. It makes it even funnier that Jungkook has no idea.

Although, it strokes your ego that he cares enough to check on you. Even if you're both mad and annoyed at each other. Perhaps it's touching too, but you quickly shrug that thought away.

Taehyung has sent you on a ten minute walk. Not only is it ridiculous but it seems like the time is going awfully slow. It hasn't been even five minutes of you and Jungkook alone. The more you and him are alone, the worse you feel about how things are between you at the moment. You're mad at yourself for not wanting to do anything about it. All the emotions are too current. Despite your big mouth and the need to be vocal about your feelings, you don't like confrontations. The damage is done and making this right is not simple. You're aware of Taehyung's intentions and in the end, he's trying to help. But you would appreciate it if they left it up to you and Jungkook. Even if you're both clearly idiots.

Jungkook suddenly stops, leans against one of the trees as he also puts a pause to your current thoughts. It's the first time you truly acknowledge him, looking at him. With the lack of light, you don't avoid him as if he was a plague. 

The moon shines above your heads, making some of his features visible. Properly looking at him now, standing just a few feet away, you realize his hair seems to be damp from the shower he took. Just as you and Yoongi came back, he grabbed his stuff and helped Ester just like you did to Yoongi. 

After glancing around and staring at the trees surrounding you, he suddenly glances at you too. It's crazy how this is the first time on this trip that you're just looking at each other. Sure, there have been a few glances but they barely lasted a few seconds, eyes mostly filled with negative emotions. But now you just stare.

Clearing your throat silently, you walk up to one of the trees and lean against it as well. Staring at your feet instead when Jungkook silently scoffs under his breath. You act like you haven't heard it, though. 

“You do realize why Taehyung sent us here, right?” He suddenly asks, breaking the silence with an edge to his tone.

Glancing to your right and his direction, you're the one who scoffs now. “I'm not stupid.”

Jungkook laughs bitterly. “For fuck sake. Get over yourself. Nobody's saying you're stupid.”

“You're asking me as if I was stupid.” you remark childishly, knowing very well this conversation is not leading anywhere. Not for the better at least. This back and forth seems to not end anytime soon. 

He rubs his face, letting out a whine of frustration before he groans. That reaction makes you bothered for some reason and you glare at him. 

“You're unbelievable.” he mutters, rubbing his face again. He's frustrated. So are you, but you don't give him the pleasure of showing it. 

You stay unbothered, on the outside at least, leaning your arms behind your lower back.

“So, you're not going to talk.” he remarks sarcastically, making you mentally gasp at the entitlement. 

“Why the fuck am I supposed to talk first?” you exclaim. 

“I don't know,” he exclaims, voice full of sarcasm. “Maybe because you fucking got mad at me because I invited my friend?”

 Straight to the point. You give him that. 

“Your friend.” you laugh sarcastically under your breath. Pettiness is one of your strong traits. You can't help it.

“Yes, my friend,” he emphasizes. “Or what else is she?”

Your lips stay in a straight line. 

“I don't know, has she ever done something to you?” Rubbing the crease between your brows, you press your lips even tighter. “I'm asking you something, Y/N.” he says deeply, pressing even deeper as you shake your head in annoyance. 

“Maybe I don't want to give you an answer, genius.”

“You're so fucking unbelievable.” He sounds mad.

“And what about you, huh ?” you ask back, raising your voice. 

He pushes himself off against the tree, standing tall and broad, taking two steps before he's standing right in front of you. That makes you straighten yourself as well, arms falling down to your sides before you cross them over your chest. 

“What, because I invited a friend?”

“Your five minute long friend.” you mutter, not able to look him in the eyes when he's standing right there. But you feel the glare in his eyes and he surely has his brows furrowed.

His features relax, slowly studying your face in the darkness of the night as he lets out an amused chuckle. “You're jealous.”

“Like the fuck I am!” you deny, knowing well damn he's right. 

“You so fucking are.” he laughs, though it lacks of any source of happiness or positivity. He sounds bitter and cold. 

“I just don't see any reason why you had to invite her. I thought this was a friend's trip.” you mutter with an attitude, looking back as Jungkook outstretches his arm and leans his palm against the tree you're leaning on.

He's so close. Met with a familiar scent, you wonder if holding your breath would chase away the familiarity it holds. 

Jungkook holds his tongue for a moment before he licks his lips and chuckles. “What about you, huh? You invited someone who's not even your friend. How does that make you better?”

He's provoking you and although his words do hold some kind of truth, it only prompts your irritation. It burns through you and makes your jaw clench painfully. 

“You know what's the difference between us?” he asks, feigning softness as he inches closer to you. So close that you bump the back of your head against the tree, not able to look away from his dark eyes. His thick brows are furrowed, some of the wet strands dangling over his forehead. “I haven't fucked Ester.”

You visibly gulp at the explicit words.

He leans his head to the side, trying to catch your eyes. You look at him, breath catching in your throat when you notice the close proximity. Your noses are almost touching and the warmness of his breath fans your cheeks.

“I haven't fucked him.” you emphasize the word. You might've hooked up with him, but you didn't go all the way. You're glad you didn't, despite all. 

“So what, you only had his cock in your mouth.” he comments, your mouth opening in shock as Jungkook's thumb brushes against your bottom lip. 

You shouldn't feel this way. Despite the shock of his so-called bluntness, his proximity just doesn't do any good. Irritation and anger wants to ripple through you, but that's pushed aside as your stomach clenches in anticipation. It's true you don't know what to expect now. You're both clearly still mad at each other. Nothing has been solved and you barely talked. Could this be even considered as talking? All you've done is talk in complete sarcasm and irritation, blaming each other.

“I haven't.” you whisper just as he pulls away his thumb. Shaking yourself out of your moment of vulnerability and daze, you frown. “What does it matter?”

“It matters because he's not your friend. We both know you invited him because you wanted to piss me off.”

He doesn't move an inch. The proximity starts to feel suffocating and you don't know if you want to push him away to catch a breath, or pull him even closer. Which is crazy because you're upset, but if it's the only way to be close to him so be it. 

Jungkook has the upper hand, the corner of your lips lifts up as you look at him with mischief in your eyes. “Did it work?”

You could've easily denied it, knowing damn well he would just call you out on your bullshit. And you would continue on your lie, preferably pissing him off even more. It's the disadvantage of knowing each other too well. You both know what strings to pull to annoy each other. Just like what you did by inviting Yoongi. 

You're an idiot. You acted upon your feelings, letting the frustration get the best of you. You should've controlled yourself better. 

Jungkook frowns, but that's until he breathes out a light chuckle. You stare, eyes meeting in one intense moment as yours dance across Jungkook's face. You can't see the small details on his face but that doesn't stop. You're aware of Jungkook staring, yet you still allow your eyes to drop down to his lips. Fucking weak! 

Just as quickly you've looked, you look away at his eyes finding him staring at you. He's fighting back a smirk. “So that's it? No explanation?” he asks amusingly.

“You're so fucking irritating.” you spit through clenched teeth, but that only seems to amuse him more. 

“That's rich coming from you.” he hums, poking the inside of his cheek with tongue. 

You watch the motion, even as his tongue darts out to wet his lips. Shamelessly staring at them as he sighs, leaning so close that his nose touches your cheekbone. “You're driving me insane.” he mumbles.

He pulls away, just enough to get a view of your face again before he's closer again. His mouth hovers over yours, your breath hitched in your throat as you automatically lean to him. Your bottom lips touch, almost in a kiss but it's so brief that it makes you want to whine. You hold yourself back, growing impatient. 

Talking or the previous argument is not on your mind. It's crazy how you can forget about everything, focusing on the lust slowly simmering in the pit of your stomach. Looking at Jungkook, there's no wonder. It doesn't help that there's evident tension. You just want to kiss the idiot, even if it's not a solution at all. You wish it would. 

Kiss away that annoying smirk of his, preferably. 

It's embarrassing how you lean toward him to connect your lips. You can't help the sensation within your body, kiss him in pure fury that you feel. What's even more embarrassing is how he pulls away his face, sabotaging your kiss clearly. That has never happened. Not under these circumstances. 

“You think I wanna kiss you after the stunt you've pulled?” he chuckles coldly, cocking his head to the side as you stare.

Cheeks flaming hot, you look away in distress as you press your hands against his hard chest. Trying to push him away, he doesn't budge. You frown. “Fuck off then.”

He chuckles deeply. “So what's it gonna be… will we talk or you want me to fuck you?”

He what– 

You visibly suck in breath, eyes widening as you collect yourself. “You think I wanna fuck you after the stunt you've pulled?” you ask breathlessly, no way sounding as confident and annoying as you planned. 

He throws his back, letting out a deep laugh that sounds oddly cold. “Fuck off then,” he cheekily repeats your words, causing you to deepen your frown. He leans down and for a moment you think he's going to kiss you. That it's one of those times he just teased you to see your reaction – but no.

He nibbles on your jaw instead, down to your neck. You hate how out of breath you already are. And then he stands tall again. You barely get a glimpse of his face before you're turned around. Gasping in surprise, your palms stretched against the tree's trunk. 

His warm breath fans against your ear, lips brushing against it. “What did he do?”

“Who?” 

“Your friend.” he mocks. 

“I'm not telling you that!” you manage to exclaim in distress. His hands appear on your hips, pushing your ass flash against him . Fuck. You can feel his bulge against your ass, slowly hardening. “Does that turn you on?” you try to ask mockingly.

“Fuck no.” His answers come quickly.

“Why's your cock hard then?” Hardening but details, details. 

“From imagining how tight your cunt is.”

You curse under your breath, leaning your forehead, not caring how scratchy the tree trunk feels against your soft skin. “I guess you'll never know.”

Jungkook chuckles. “Oh, I already know.”

“Don't be so cocky.” you tell him through clenched teeth.

“Did he make you cum?”

You pant, nails digging into the tree. “Does it matter?”

“Did he make you cum?” he asks sternly, arousal leaking onto your panties.

“Yes.” you whisper. Yoongi is not the one you want to talk about. You want to tell him none of that matters. 

“What did he do?” He presses again.

You keep your mouth shut, gasping when Jungkook shamelessly circles his tattooed arm against your frame, fingers playing with the hem of your sweatpants. “Am I gonna get an answer?”

You stubbornly shake your head, giving him an answer. 

Stupidly cute, he thinks. Right after he sneaks his hand inside your sweatpants, under your panties too as you feel his flesh against you. At the littlest touch as he cups you and rubs your naked pussy, you let out a not so quiet moan. When he feels your wetness, he chuckles under his breath.

“Did he use his fingers?” he asks, still rubbing you before circling your wet and clenching hole. 

“Argh, fuck.”

“Y/N.” he warns.

“Fuck, no.”

He presses his thumb against your hole, not entering you just putting a slight pressure which makes your head spin. 

“Mouth?”

“Mhm.” You bite into your lip harshly, pushing your ass against him as he dodges your attempt of feeling something more. 

“Yes?” he presses, causing you to groan.

“Fuck, yes. Yes.” you whine, causing him to nod behind you.

His hand is out of your sweatpants before you can catch another breath. Swallowing down the disappointment, you're ready to curse him out. However, just as you open your mouth you're easily interrupted by Jungkook tugging both your sweatpants and panties down to your ankles. You gasp, muttering Jungkook's name as a warm breeze hits your wet core. 

Looking across your shoulder, you see him dropping to his knees as he pulls your ass toward him. He angles your body just so your entire backside is arched for him, giving him a front view of your pussy and ass. 

“I told you I'm gonna fuck you in the woods.” he says before he bites onto your asscheek. 

You whimper, panting. “If I let you.”

“I don't know, Y/N,” The usage of your name brings an odd feeling. “It seems you're letting me.”

“Shut up oh–fuck ,” Jungkook's mouth is buried in your wetness, tongue latching at it.

You haven't touched yourself for a long time. There was never time and to be completely honest – no need to when you had Jungkook. Nothing, not even you, could not compare to the pleasure he gives you. You would rather wait days for him to touch you, have sex with you or anything that could bring you an orgasm, than do it yourself. Even after the argument, you busied yourself with work and binge-watched like TV shows. Then you got your period which exhausted you. 

Whenever you jerk your backside, barely able to endure the magic of his mouth and tongue. He's not going easy on you, grabbing your hips and holding them tight, and you in place. He growls against you, almost as warning you to stop moving. Just when you think things can't get more intense, his tongue enters you and two of his fingers rub your clit in fast circles.

“Holy shit!”

You cum on his tongue within seconds, adding it to the list of embarrassing things you've managed to do in only ten minutes. Your lungs are on fire, all Jungkook's doing as he licks off some of your cum before you feel his hands on your ankles. That's it?  

“You want more?” he chuckles, not the usual type when things are normal between you. In fact, they aren't and the distance in his tone reminds you of your current issue. You haven't realized you said your thoughts out loud. 

Looking across your shoulder and down, too scared to move at the moment, you glance at him. “You brought me here to eat me out?”

“That wasn't the plan.” he points out, “You don't deserve more.”

That makes you scoff loudly, ass bare. You should probably dress up, but his hands still remain at your ankles. “You're right. Maybe I should tell Yoongi.”

That is so fucking childish! But you can't help it. The truth is Yoongi would probably never touch you again. What you've done previously was a drunken mistake in the heat of the moment. Alcohol was involved. You can't say your relationship has progressed much since then, but you know each other a little bit more. It would surely make things even weird to even consider it. If he heard you, you're not sure if he would want to vomit or would laugh – probably the loudest you would ever hear him. 

Jungkook stands up abruptly, pressing his front against your back which makes you straighten up. He grabs the back of your neck, not too tight but you feel his hand there. “Good. Imagine me when he fucks you.”

You let out a sarcastic and humorous laugh. “You're all talk, Jeon. Thought you would fuck me in the woods.”

“Desperate much?” he laughs bitterly, “Tell your friend.”

You elbow him, enough to let him know to get you some space as you quickly pull up your clothes, ignoring how your underwear digs into your butt crack uncomfortably. 

“Y'know what?” He doesn't because you don't await his response. “When you want your cock sucked, tell Ester.”

“I will. Maybe she'll do a better job at it.” he says fast. Too fast. 

Something happens in your chest, it burns and it makes your anger rise. “You piece of shit!” You curse, venom present in your voice as you go to push into his chest. He doesn't move.

“Two can play this game, Y/N.” he reminds you. 

You glare, watching the way he swipes his bottom lip with his thumb, putting the pad of it into his mouth. All while his eyes stay on you. 

“Is this game to you?” you ask in disbelief. 

He drops his hand in annoyance and rolls his eyes. “You're the one who started to threaten me with your co-worker.” he points out. 

“Threaten you? Please.” you scoff dramatically. 

Suddenly, your jaw is cupped and grabbed harshly as he presses you into the tree again. “You want me to fuck you?”

You gulp, mentally scolding yourself for feeling aroused by such a simple question. You're mad. In fact, you should tell him to fuck off and leave before you still can. But you stay rooted in your spot.

“Not anymore. I will ask Yoongi, he will do a better job at it than you.” 

He chuckles, knowing that's not true and you wish you could refute the statement. But you don't want to. 

Jungkook tightens his hold, rougher than before you're turned around once again. This time your cheek pressed against the hard tree trunk as your underwear and sweatpants are roughly pulled down. You almost fall but hold yourself at the last minute, surprised by the roughness. You provoked him. Truth to be told and admitted, you want this even if it makes you out as desperate. 

“You sure he will?” he prompts. 

“Mhm,” Is all you manage to mumble back. 

“Does he know you're my little slut?”

“I'm not yours.” you pant, shutting your ass when another slap is delivered on your ass. 

“You're right,” he hums, parting your legs slightly as he cups your pussy tightly. “This cunt is.” He slaps you there, earning a long gasp mixed with moan. You're not sure if he has ever done it. The pain and pleasure shoots through you and you're close to whimpering, begging for more. 

“Who said that?” You're playing with fire. But you enjoy this. 

“I did,” he laughs as if it wasn't obvious. “Didn't you say my mouth is yours to kiss?”

You did say that. You were drunk. No wasted out of your mind. But you don't justify it out loud. 

“That dirty mouth of yours?” you chuckle, hearing him do the same behind you. “Who knows what you do with it.”

“You know it.” You blush at his words. “Now, should we get back or you want to get fucked?”

“My ass is bare, what do you think?” you retort smartly, yelping when he pinches your clit. What the hell. With seconds passing, it does feel good. Argh! 

You hear clothes rustling, your walls clenching just from the thought of him taking off his clothes and getting his cock out. Fuck , you suddenly hate that you're turned with your back to him. 

Then his tip pokes your puckered hole, moving further down to separate your folds. He's at your entrance, causing you to quietly moan as you arch your ass for him. You even part your legs, hearing him curse behind you. 

You thought it's because of you, and maybe it is, that's until you hear a little groan. “What's wrong?”

Many things, he wants to say but he presses his lips tightly. “I don't have a condom.”

You release a disappointed breath. Fuck! You scream inside your head before you arch your ass again, feeling his cock against you as he lets out a pleased sigh. “It's okay. Fuck me without it.” You say it too quickly, almost as if you didn't give it a thought. 

“Fuck, you serious?” Jungkook pants, sounding out of breath from the single thought of fucking you raw again. 

“Yes,” you breathe heavily. “Just fuck me. I can't stand this.”

His answer doesn't come verbal, he presses the tip of his cock against your entrance but not quite entering you. One hand on your waist and the other on his cock, he circles his tip against your entrance and then rubs it along your folds up to your clit. Fucking hell. 

“Kook.” you whine. 

And then he presses in one movement, knocking the breath out of you. He's fast, despite you being not stretched out you shiver against him. The burn mixed with pleasure makes you press your face even more to the tree, ignoring how it stings. 

He doesn't ask anything, he doesn't wait for you to get used to his size, having him filling you up to the brim. He pulls out and then harshly thrusts in. Before you know it, his hand moves to the back of your neck. Holding you there, the other goes to the side of your ass as he gets a good grip of you. Thighs hitting against yours, the sound of your skin slapping and meeting fills up the space. You realize this is the first time you're having sex in a complete open space – the thought of that arouses you to the core.

Jungkook's pace is animalistic, leaving you all whiny and a complete mess, as your wetness gushes out of you. Even the way his cock thrusts into your wet walls is clear to your ears. Eyes scrunched tightly, you can't control the noises that ripple out of you. Your entire body is burning and there are no thoughts in your mind. For the first time since the argument, you don't think. There is no feeling of guilt, anger, annoyance and everything you've felt for the past week. You're so full of him, feeling every inch of him despite his ruthless pace as soft grunts of his own pleasure are heard behind you. 

“S-so good.” You're out of your mind, not even grasping at what you're saying. It doesn't matter that you stroke Jungkook's already big ego. He knows very well what he's doing to you – and what he's able to do to you.

“Yeah?” he pants behind you. “I couldn't tell.”

“You piece of–”

“Ow!” you whine, your skin sensitive from the third slap your asscheek has gotten. 

Suddenly, the tip of his fingers sneak between your open legs, rubbing your clit which makes you whimper even more. 

“Fuck–so close–I can't–so good.”

It's too much. His cock is wrapped around your walls, thrusting the spots you never knew you had, his fingers are on your clit adding just the right pressure while his balls smack against it too. A few more rough thrusts and you're cumming, your entire body shuddering as Jungkook groans. You're going through your orgasm, close to the end of it when Jungkook pulls out all of a sudden and cums on your ass. You feel the warm liquid covering your skin, dripping down with some of it down your ass cheeks. It's messy but so fucking hot that you hum shamelessly.

Feeling empty despite the intense orgasm, you hear a little rustling behind you and then Jungkook's hands on your ass again. A second later, Jungkook draws out his tongue before you feel the soft and wet muscle on your skin. He licks his cum off it, your mouth falling open at the amount of dirtiness behind his actions. You didn't think he could get any hotter.

He cleans you off and tugs your sweatpants along your panties up, where you take it from them and dress up. He does the same, tucking himself back into his boxers as he hides any evidence of your sinful actions. 

Everything dawns upon you, slowly but surely, once the remains of orgasm no longer clouds your mind. It's like a movie that flashes right in front of your eyes, reminding you of what has just happened. There's no regret though, even when all those negative emotions come back and you realize you haven't made anything better. Just like a bunch of teenagers, you fucked the anger out of your system for the time being, until it's over now and nothing between you is okay. You haven't talked.

You actually made no progress, which was Taehyung's last hope and the reason why he has sent you away from everyone. What are you supposed to do now? Come back there and act like everything's fine? Continue to ignore Jungkook because there's still a lot that needs to be said. Oh god , you really hope none of them went to look for you. You have been gone for longer than ten minutes. You wouldn't be able to live it down if one of them caught you. What if they did and saw you? 

Different scenarios (embarrassing ones) fill your already messed up mind. As you turn around to face Jungkook, fully clothed now, you're constantly reminded of your actions. His hair is messy, he tries to fix it by running his fingers through it a few times. The sour taste on your tongue and the clench in your chest defines the disappointment you feel. Disappointed at yourself. Since when the hell do you solve your problems by having sex? Angry sex at that. And you solved a major shit.

Sure. You remember the time when you and him had sex, rough and angry once when you were arguing. But that time seems like a faint memory. You would've guessed you got better at that. Instead, you're ashamed that this is what your friendship looks like. If you and him weren't hooking up, what would happen? Would you finally talk? Even when you didn't feel ready. You're still not, especially what happened now. 

Again, there's no regret. The sex was amazing and definitely helped with the anger (partly). However, looking back at this now, there's an empty hole in your chest. You and him are still arguing over something completely stupid. But it's not stupid enough for both of you to let it go. 

You two are fucking idiots. 

Jungkook lifts up his gaze, brows frowning all of a sudden and you wonder if he has the same thoughts, disappointed at himself for fucking you in the woods. To be fair, you asked for it. And you're ashamed how easy those words left your mouth. 

He surprises by lifting his hand, pads of his fingers slowly touching your cheekbone. “You're hurt.” he informs softly. 

You had no idea what he's talking about, but as soon as his fingers make contact with your skin, you recognize the little stinging. You touch your skin, feeling its surface slightly damaged and scratched from the tree. Great, now you not only will have memories of Jungkook fucking you outside in a darkness, but you will have an actual reminder and proof of it as well. 

Automatically, you frown and slap his hand away. “This,” You motion between you and him. “Didn't happen.”

He doesn't argue, nor do you give him a space for it because you brush past him, making your way back. Usually, you wouldn't be so confident walking in the darkness, let alone be in front but the urge to get out of here is strong. Luckily, you hear Jungkook following you, now him being the one who's behind you. 

You have no idea how you've managed to get back, remembering the exact route Jungkook has taken. Your memory when it comes to this is not bad at all, but still you're quite impressed – and relieved – when you spot the fireplace and laughter nearby. 

You know the moment you fully come back, their attention is going to be on you and Jungkook, expecting something. Analyzing the atmosphere between you two. And that's exactly what happens when all the chattering dies down as soon as they spot you. 

Taehyung's eyes are curious and a grin threatens to spread, until he notices your face. “What happened?” he asks, “Did you have a physical fight?” He tries to joke, met with a glare from you. 

“I fell.” you reply dryly, snatching your bag of toiletries. 

Jungkook plops onto his old spot, leaning his elbow against the armrest as he rubs the space between his brows. 

“Jungkook?” Jimin asks confusingly, expecting some kind of explanation from him. You act as if you don't hear him, grabbing more of your stuff as you ignore Maya's eyes on you. 

“Y/N, where are you going?” Maya asks, quietly and softly but loud enough for some of them to hear. 

“To take a shower. I'm covered in dirt and I need to clean this off.” you mutter, hearing her stand up as she stumbles. Little does she know you have to clean the mess between your legs too.

“I'm going with you.” she says. 

“No, it's okay.”

“Fine, but it's dark. Someone should go with you.”

You frustratedly scratch your forehead, groaning a little. You don't want her to question you. You're not in the mood to talk, let alone to share what has happened in the woods. 

“Stay here. I'll go with her.” Namjoon helps her to sit down, standing up as he offers you a comforting smile. 

With a tight grip on your towel, you walk away in total shame. Confused and miserable than ever.

[from-izzy]

sip and learn | the boyz kim sunwoo

“Got you a morning drink,” rattling the ice inside the cylinder and putting it where his mark prettily shows. “Probably should put it on there. They say it’s good to ice your bruises.”

pairing » the boyz kim sunwoo x fem!reader

trope/au » situationship au, non-idol au

genre »​ mildly suggestive (as compared to this), a bit of fluff...?, sunwoo likes to tease the reader who is in denial :D, flirty sunwoo and reader who is not to resistant to it, whipped kim sunwoo

word count, estimated reading time » 2407, ~9 mins

warnings (lmk if i missed anything!) » suggestive!!, dom! sunwoo (and flustered reader), kissing and making out, they're in public but no one is around, dirty/suggestive talking (allusions to s*x), sunwoo kind of pulls the reader to his lap and carries you, sunwoo giving you a drink through kissing you, marking (sunwoo to reader), pet name (baby girl, baby boy), swearing, dirty minded sunwoo (oop), sunwoo is physically bigger and taller, rapid proofread a couple of times

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 the boyz masterlist

...hm-

Finally.

It turns out that universities do care about some of their students’ health after all. After a gruelling non-stop six weeks' worth of content, you're finally excited to not only catch up on some of the work you don't manage to touch but also that you won't have to watch lectures that seem like carbon copies of your textbook. In addition to that, you also get the choice to stay indoors all week which is a dream for all overworked students. 

Sitting in a slightly quiet area under the trees accompanied by your friend is one of the best ways to end the tiring six weeks. All is nice and cool as you let the wind brush against your skin, sighing at the temperature. Your friend follows you shortly after but disrupts the peace with a question.

The tip of her shoe hits yours, “So, how was the date?”

The implying tone from your relaxed best friend caused you to roll your eyes, “It wasn’t a date. It was just a hangout.”

“Oh yeah, I bet,” she agreed sarcastically. “How many times did you kiss him while you were at it?” 

The information was about to spill out from your mouth without a second thought. You were so close to embarrassing yourself with the fact that you were not only all over Kim Sunwoo’s lips yesterday, but all around that annoyingly handsome face of his and slightly down his neck. The heat rises to your cheek but you play it cool by shrugging your shoulders, pushing last night’s events to the back of your head. 

The way you responded only elicits an amused chuckle from your best friend. She knows you're avoiding the truth. “Stop pretending not to be in love with him,” she sighs. “Your denial is getting so damn embarrassing.” 

You relaxed your eyelids close once more, focusing on nature instead with your palms behind your back to lean. “It's not embarrassing because I'm not even in denial about that loser.”

You allow yourself to ramble some more, listing points to prove to her that you're not in love with the man. Usually, your friend would give you unconvincing hums which you're now used to. But the lack of response from her made you uneasy, as even though you had your eyes closed, the image of her raised eyebrows and the corner of her lips slightly raised is clear in your mind. 

That is the expression you're greeted with when you bring yourself back to reality. However, her eyes were nowhere near you, a mischievous smile growing bigger at the sight of a familiar person approaching you from behind. Your eye twitches, knowing exactly who it was. You dusted the sand and dirt remnants from your palm, ready to stand up to your feet when a force behind weights you back down.

You yelp slightly at the force, your now dirty palms again stopping you face planting to the Earth.

“Kim fucking Sunwoo!” You called out the man who secured his hold around your middle, resting his chin on your shoulder. “Get off me, you fucking stink.”

“Really?” The boy does the opposite, sitting down and spreading his legs beside your thighs, pulling you closer to his chest. “Last time I checked I smelled pretty good.”

He does. You're not going to admit that though. 

“Yeah, maybe after spending time at a rubbish bin.”

Your friend couldn't help but snicker at that. She wonders if you would give the poor boy a break sometime but seeing you both like this, obviously love sick for each other, she chose to make this her everyday entertainment. 

“Okay,” your friend collected her things. “I'll see you soon,” winking at you. “And you,” pointing at Sunwoo, “Please use protection.”

“Hey!”

“Will do!”

You whip your head back to Sunwoo’s sharp jawline, slapping his arm at the comment. When your friend was comfortably out of space, a finger traced along the front of your bra’s underband. The courageous touch in public made you yelp a little. Your reaction didn’t faze him at all because he predicted it all; you fold with even the smallest touch of him after all. 

“Feeling sensitive, baby girl?” The airyness of his husky voice sent chills down your spine. It also sent your stomach doing flips and your hands stopped slapping him for a change. 

“No,” you answer softly. Trying to push off is futile as you learnt from past events and so you let him win, taking a mental note to lecture him later.

“Baby girl…” the tip of his nose brushes along the underside of your jawline, shuddering at the light touch as he just ghosts over your slowly heating skin. 

Though tight, your lips displayed a smile. From the corner of your eye, you know he’s enjoying the situation, “In front of everyone?” Turns out you couldn’t keep your question for later. 

“There's literally no one here,” you felt his shoulders shrug. An arm stays secure around your waist, the other guiding your chin to face him. “You smell delicious,” the whisper hits the shell of your ear so gracefully that your gulp becomes audible. 

Sunwoo doesn't bother hiding the fact that he's focused on your lips, licking his own as he struggles to keep himself from tasting you. While his index and thumb keep you still, his other fingers brush against your skin intricately. The smooth motions contrast his darkening orbs. You’re in fear that you will fold for him in public now.

You are not going to be defeated by Kim Sunwoo. Not when he made you fold for him hard yesterday.

But it’s unfortunate for you that he knows exactly what you’re thinking of.

Sunwoo turns your head away from your alluring lips as he has other plans for now. His supple lips land on the side of your neck and he starts to suck on your skin. You expected just a peck, especially with the setting, but it became clear to you that nothing mattered to him. 

Whimpering moans slip out of your lips and Sunwoo smiles momentarily at the beginning of his work on the crook of your neck before going back in. At first, he’s disappointed that no one is staying for the show but then it gives him all the more reason to gape his lips and suck on your skin.

“Sunwoo-” You gasp out as your palm is back to giving him a physical reminder on his arm around your middle. “Fucking hell…”

He hums against your skin before pulling away, licking his lips at the subtle mark he left on you. Needless to say, you won’t be able to cover that up with your clothing. The lovesick boy doesn’t stop there when he directs your eyes back to lock his, sending you a message that makes your body slightly shudder. You weren’t sure what the gaze meant but all you knew was that it was the same look he gave after he would kiss you breathless; just like last night.

His hand retracts yet you don’t dare to break the eye contact. Knowing that he had an effect on you, Sunwoo maintained it, feeling slightly competitive about how you’re not backing down, not even looking at his plump lips. Sunwoo blindly reaches to the inside of his bag beside him, cluttering around until he finds the icy-cold cylinder that he bought for you earlier on.

“Got you a morning drink,” rattling the ice inside the cylinder and putting it where his mark prettily shows. “Probably should put it on there. They say it’s good to ice your bruises.”

The mention of a new mark made you lose the unspoken game as you used your front camera like a mirror. You didn’t even need to crane or tilt your neck too far to see what he was talking about and at the top corner of the screen, you could also see the start of a smirk growing on his face.

“Kim Sunwoo!” It’s so obvious, brighter than the sunlight above you. “I swear, Kim Sunwoo…” Glaring at the radiant man through your phone.

“Oh!” He exclaimed before snatching your phone. “You should take a picture. It’ll last longer.” Sunwoo kept his locking hold around your waist, positioning your phone closer to the sky. He takes a couple with varying angles and closeness, as well as how close his lips were to your heating skin. You jolt at the innocent kisses he left, leaving supple traces of his love and his breathy chuckle made you relax against his chest. “Now the two sides of your neck are matching.”

The image of last night flashes. The way Sunwoo cupped your cheeks, discarding his ice cream when he chose to lick the remnants of yours from your lips. The way he held the curve of your waist, pulling you closer to the point that you eventually sat on his strong, bulky thighs. The way he foreshadows the darker kiss mark on your neck when he moves his mouth across the side of your face, going off track with your jawline before rerouting to his main aim. The smacking of each other’s lips grew louder as the makeout session turned more intense. How his finger slowly lifted the skirt you were wearing, shuddering at the cold wind and the tiny circles that glided across your skin. Last night, as much as you didn’t want to admit it, was amazing.

You hope it was the same for him too.

The plastic seal clicks and is broken, pulling you back into reality. “Drink this,” he beams after chuckling at the way you look at him half-dazed. “I think you’ll like this.”

“Absolutely not,” swatting the drink away from you and keeping your ground. “You probably put shit in it.”

“Baby girl,” Sunwoo warns, voice lowering. Before you knew it, Sunwoo leans forward to slither an arm below the back of your knee, twirling you and resting your legs onto his thigh. This position made it easier for him to see you now that half your face was easily within his view. “It wasn’t a question,” he says as his palm holds a thigh, fingers spreading to increase his presence on your body. “You will like this.”

Another eyebrow raises and an inaudible shake of your head is what you give him.

His scoff resonates and hits you. You thought you won when he gulped the beverage himself and for a second, your muscles relaxed and a grin stretched across your lips. Your relief goes undetected by him because as soon as he feels the way your body reacts to him gulping his efforts for you, his palm that was once on your thigh slips down to one of your lower cheeks to remind you who has always had the upper hand between you both.

Your eyes widen at his gesture and to make things worse, Sunwoo leaves one last mouthful of the drink before he securely attaches his lips to yours. He angles his head down and tilts your neck up, something that he never does and the difference in routine alarms you. You end up understanding what he’s doing because with the betrayal of your lips parting when Sunwoo’s thumb nudges your chin down, with the help of gravity, he opens his mouth and empties the drink to you. He chases your lips at your surprise and holds you close to prevent you from pulling away. Some escapes from the corner of your lips that never fully touched his but he wipes it skillfully with the pad of his thumb, making a trail of the sweet tea, dripping from your jawline to where he kissed you earlier and letting your clothes suck up all of his glory. The way he cups your face, gently resting the apple of your cheek while his lips move slowly is all intimate to you, reaching out to his wrist for stability. 

When his mouth is empty, Sunwoo pulls away and your neck relaxes. The look of surprise on your face is entertaining and his bangs fall attractively in front of his cunning eyes. After moving back a bit, he sees how your cheeks are not fully empty. “Swallow,” he orders, brushing his thumb on the sensitive spot of your neck. “Like every single time you’ve done for me, baby girl.” No one could see the images that played in your head but the flashes only ran faster and more intense with his raised eyebrow.

Despite your self-talk not to let him win, you obeyed.

You gulp at the way he phrases his words for you, complimenting you on something that is human nature. The flavoured drink runs down your throat smoothly, the back of your hand wiping any remnants on your lower face. It wasn’t long until you realised that yet again, Kim Sunwoo was right: you did like the beverage; and maybe something else that he did along with that. Your tongue pokes out between your lips, savouring the taste and you had to stop yourself from going on your toes to chase his lips for some more.

“Good,” he praises you. “Was that so hard, hm?” 

“You’re insane, Kim Sunwoo.” 

“Ah yes,” Sunwoo nods proudly. “Or you could just say you liked what I did.”

As if you would. “Ok now, let me go, you dick.” 

The mention of the body part only made it worse for you and he didn’t bother masking his dirty idea to you. To the public, he looked like an abandoned puppy, kicked and forgotten on the street with his eyes wide open, begging for some love and care for anyone who passed by. His lower lips jutted out despite the scowl on your face.

“I’m just a boy…” His words trailing off towards the end. “Your baby boy…” The mention of the nickname you reserve only for him lands him a smack on his broad chest. 

“You’re literally twen-”

“Just a boy,” he repeated before wiggling his eyebrows. “You need to take care of me,” his palm on your lower body moves once more, reminding you that he has never let you go. “Next time you should’ve just sipped the drink, but now?” Effortlessly, Sunwoo held your flustered figure in his arms while you naturally clung your arms around his neck as he raised and began walking towards his car. “You get to learn.”

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 the boyz masterlist

tags: @deoboyznet @k-labels @k-films @kflixnet @starlit-network @sanaxo-o @hursheys

[ggyurae]

when it’s one-sided.

pairing: mingyu x gn!reader

genre: angst

summary: you should have moved on

You have always known the fact that he’s far too good for you— incredibly smart, charming, kindhearted, a gorgeous man who constantly looks out for his friends and anyone he meets, family person— always treats his family members well, loves cooking and is very good at it, holds no grudges even when his friends pulled multiple pranks on him, talks sweetly to animals, smiles so pretty with his little fangs out, and well— basically almost beyond perfection.

Almost, because the one thing that makes him slightly less attractive is his undying crush on his senior.

And he likes to make it obvious.

“What do you think?” You blank. Then there’s a small sigh from the right side of your seat and a knowing look from your close friend, Seungkwan. “I wish I never introduced him to you. You’re always looking at him.” He complains with a whine, and you roll your eyes.

“Don’t be dramatic. I don’t do that.” You try to deny, but your friend knows you better than your mother does. You give him a harmless pinch on his arm when he made his disgusted face upon hearing your words. You both know the truth.

But Seungkwan also knows something that you might not want to know. As a friend, though, he cannot keep any secrets. Especially if it involves your feelings. He glances at his friend who’s now laughing with Wonwoo, his roommate, and focuses his gaze back at you, his voice lowering to almost a whisper. He looks rather concerned. “Have you.. heard about it?”

You look back at him with a brow raised, clueless. “About what..?” Then you see how troubled he wanted to open his mouth, the short pause in his response and the weird, ugly feeling that’s slowly approaching as Seungkwan takes more time to form his sentence. You start feeling anxious as you wondered why your friend struggled to tell you— did Mingyu get into a nasty fight? Did he get any trouble and get caught? Does he want to move out to another country and leave all of you here? Or maybe he—

“They’re dating.“

Oh.

And your mind stops working for a minute. You don’t know how to process that information as you lost all abilities to function, eyes staring nothing, your mouth opened but no words coming out.

Numb. You feel strangely numb.

After a few moments though, it starts sinking in. Your chest feels tight, heavy and has little space for you to breathe. Seungkwan notices the shift in your reactions and panics, immediately regretting his decision to reveal the news. “Shit, hey— are you okay?”

“Y—yeah, good.” You stammer, blinking rapidly. That’s embarrassing. “It’s fine. I’m.. I’m fine.” You respond with a shaky laugh and a small wave as a sign to dismiss your little overreaction. Seungkwan wants to argue but his guilt eats him up more. His eyes soften as he apologizes. “I’m really sorry. I thought sharing this to you would help you to.. you know.”

You know. You do. You were supposed to move on way before this could happen. When Mingyu stopped making small conversations with you weeks ago, when Mingyu no longer offered, which he absolutely didn’t have to, to help you with your assignments, when Mingyu started replying late, when Mingyu did not look at you excitedly when you arrived at your friends’ usual place, when Mingyu didn’t give you random compliments about your basic outfits, which was the same boring style that definitely needs an upgrade.

When he stopped doing these little things that used to make you feel special, as if you were more than a— what? What exactly were you to him? Sure, your friends are also his friends but that does not equate to you having a close friendship with him like the others. But there was something unspoken that only the two of you knew. It lingers when he’s close, makes your heart jumps when you stand near him, and it’s warm all over your cheeks when he starts speaking to you. You could count the times you two verbally interacted, which was not a lot, but you treasured the moment every single time. You always sleep with the biggest smile on your face after talking to him.

Seungkwan is right. You’ve always looked at him. Mingyu would sometimes lock his pretty eyes with yours too. You would blush immediately and he would smile wider, proud that he’s caught you staring at him again. But now he smiles at his phone instead. Probably due to his crush girlfriend’s texts.

“Has it been long?” You don’t want to know, your heart hurts thinking about him, yet you found yourself asking for more details. You just missed him that is all, and want to gather as much information as possible through his friends since you two barely interacted. You blame it on your introverted, shy, delusional self. Things wouldn’t end up this way if you acted normal, if you stopped yourself before getting so invested.

Seungkwan can hear the difference in your voice. He has witnessed some of the worst times in your life. Was there to calm you through your emotional breakdowns, there to lend you his shoulder for you to cry on, cuddling you to sleep when your pet died, volunteered to cook for you even when he has no skills, took care of you when you had a bad fever. So when you constantly torture yourself with the thoughts of him, even when Mingyu is also one of his friends, it pains him.

“No, let’s not do this anymore. Stop hurting yourself, please.” He gently takes your palm into his and rubs soothing circles against the skin. You look up to find Seungkwan smiling gently. “Come, let’s go out and eat. I’ll treat you this time.”

You hum with a grateful smile and spend one last glance at Mingyu as your friend drags you out.

He still does not look back.

[roseykat]

TITLE: Table Manners and Bible Studies

PAIRING: Jeongin x reader

SUMMARY: Jeongin, a churchgoer who is also a very sexual person, likes to immerse both you and himself in the realm of sensory play, among other things as well.

WARNING: minors DNI with this post or my blog. I create NSFW SKZ related content and I know I won't be able to regulate every single interaction with those posts so please do not engage with my work or page whatsoever.

TAGS: themes of BDSM centred around sensory play, soft dom Jeongin, explicit language, use of ice cubes, body-safe hot candle wax, a feather, blindfold, safe and consensual play, nipple stimulated orgasm, mentions of religion (no specific religion is being mentioned here but the concept is that Jeongin is religious for the purposes of this work).

MASTERLIST

He goes to church. That’s all you know about one of the guys in your class who always dresses well, dons cute glasses and seems well put together. He’s an intriguing one among the masses of students that attend and even with the volume of people, he still stood out to you even if he was quiet.

However, it was never in your interest to approach a guy like him. He and his four friends, all from the same church, seemed relatively lovely and all kept to themselves. From your perspective, it appeared as if two of the girls really liked him. If they did, you don’t blame them. Whoever he was seemed to be sweet.

“Still eyeing him up?” Your friend Minho pokes you in the ribs with his finger, lulling you out of your thoughts.

“I’m not eyeing him up,” you snap defensively, averting your stare away from his group to refocus on your lunch with him.

“Just say he’s hot,” he encourages. “If I’m willing to admit it, then you should.”

“You think he’s hot?” 

“And you don’t?” He questions back, almost offended that you didn’t assume otherwise. 

“I suppose that means something coming from a whore such as yourself,” you remember with a sigh. 

Minho nods in agreement with your statement, “and as a whore, I’m telling you he’s hot. So why not go for him?” 

“That’s not who I want though,” you say to him.

A cackle nearly breaks out from his mouth, “that’s right. So how is the hunt for one of those dom boyfriends going anyway? Isn’t that the type you’re looking for?”

“He doesn’t have to be, but it would help significantly,” you answer truthfully. “I just think that would be the best way to get my foot in the door for getting into BDSM.”

“I seriously don’t know where you got that idea from, but you don’t need to go searching for a boyfriend who’s into BDSM to get into it,” Minho truthfully informs you. “There are sites and apps where you can connect to doms and go from there. But if you do, don’t just jump at the first dom that you see. Always do background checks.”

You sometimes forget that Minho himself is in the BDSM scene. He has been for a while and for as long as you’ve known him, you’ve always been interested in what he does. From his stories, they sound exciting and riveting; exactly the kind of thing you want to try out to make your sexual life a little more lively. 

“I know that,” you whine. “If not that, then I don’t really know where to begin.” 

“Well, we all start somewhere,” he says with a hint of optimism. “Since you’re interested still, there’s a BDSM convention at the end of this week. If you want to get your foot in the door with it, I reckon you should go.”

“A convention?” You ask with intruigue. “What do they host there?”

“They’re there to promote safe BDSM to people and have a variety of pop up stores on site that sell anything related to it,” he answers. “I’m supposed to be going but, I’ve got something else on at the same time. In fact you can have my concession.”

“Are you sure?” You ask.

“Yeah, it’s already printed off,” he says. “I’ll give it to you on Thursday.”

It was a good idea at first, but come the day of the event, your nerves were shot. It was your first time being surrounded by anything like this. Particularly by yourself. It was a bit stereotypical to assume that the convention was run something along the lines of seeing naked people tied up, some in cages, or live scenes taking place in front of crowds. 

That wasn’t the case at all. It was almost like a niche grocery store where the locals gather to buy homegrown fruit and veggies. Some part of that concept helped calm a few nerves.

Once you receive your concession band, you start around the front area of the pop-up stores. People were lining up to see demonstrations of shibari methods and most were interested in buying a series of items for the bedroom. 

They were all displayed like sea creatures at a fish market, waiting to be bought. From cattail butt plugs, clover nipple clamps, juicy erotica novels - one of which you picked up - lengths of different coloured ropes, wooden floggers, riding crops, and so much more. 

Away from all the chaos at the stalls was an area called BDSMC; BDSM and coffee. It was a way to set people up with potential doms and or subs. Each individual looking for a buddy would order a coffee or drink with a green cup that had either letter on it; D for dom or S for sub. Red cups were exclusively 'do not approach' because the person either didn’t want to engage or they may already have a partner and are just there for some good coffee. 

It was an awesome set-up and had you thinking about heading over to maybe find someone who would be interested. However, you stored away that thought as you continued to have a look around. 

One thing that was painfully obvious to you was the fact that people weren’t there by themselves. They were either there with a group or their partner, making you feel even more out of place and slightly overwhelmed. But you weren’t going to tap out early. Minho gave you his ticket not only because he couldn’t attend, but also because he wants you to experience what you’re looking for, for yourself.

So you scour out the stores under the guise of your own interest, coming across a few which struck that interest. There was one store tailored specifically to pain play, a heavy aspect of BDSM. Another stall had all to do with sexual health, consent and BDSM - not necessarily selling anything, but just there to answer any questions that people may have. 

One place had caught you attention, a store all to do with sensory play and deprivation - a term in which you’ve came across within the realm of research into BDSM.

In nicely orgasnised lines were individual packets of silk blindfolds in a variety of different colours. There were boxes of body safe candles, most likely for temperature play, noise cancelling headphones, sleek metal handcuffs, and other items that had you wondering how they work. 

“Hello, anything I can help you with or just browsing today?” One of the shop owners approaches you from behind the table. 

“Oh, just browsing thank you,” you reply back to her.

“No worries, let me know if you need anything,” she smiles back at you and walks down to the other end of the long table. 

“Hello, do you have any of these in black?” A person beside you asks to another store keeper. 

Out of sheer interest, you briefly look up at the person just as an unspoken social acknowledgement while the owner tends to their new customer. But to your absolute shock and surprise, the person enquiring happened to be someone very familiar.

The jet black hair, distinct glasses, the trendy casual outfit...

…there was no way.

“We should do. I’ll have a look around in some of our storage containers just behind the back for you,” she says helpfully. 

“Thank you,” the customer responds. 

It was definitely him, and whilst your eyes had been glued to his presence for such a long time, his gaze catches onto it. 

“Hey,” he spoke in a mousey volume.

You stall in your step a bit just as you were about to walk away to remain unknown, but the angelic purity in the tone of his voice lulled you back. You’d feel bad if you didn’t greet him too. 

“Hey,” you say to him awkwardly. “How are you?”

“I’m good thank you, yourself?” He asks back. 

“Yeah, good thanks. I know you, sort of. Aren’t you in my class?” 

It was a useless question to ask considering you’ve spent too many times looking at him to know that it’s definitely him. That distinct soft expression couldn’t pass you by. The only thing different is that he wasn't swarmed by his usual collective of friends.

A small smile spreads on his face, “yeah. I’ve seen you here and there. You usually sit close to the front.” 

“That’s right,” you nod, bewildered that he knows who you are and where you sit during class. “So…what brings you…here of all places?”

Jeongin shrugs with a smile, “interest. You?”

You nod, “also interest.”

The lady pops back from behind the screen with some items, “you might be out of luck. We’ve only got grey and white left but there’s a couples' one for you and your partner here.”

Your mind stutters upon hearing those words come out of the lady’s mouth, “oh he’s not - we’re not-“

“What about any more of these? Preferably in black as well?” Jeongin picks up a baby pink coloured blindfold and presents it to the woman. He seemed to have saved that awkward statement yet wasn’t entirely effected by it as you were.

“I’ll have a look around the back again and see if we’ve got anything,” she says, quickly rushing off.

“Sorry about that,” he says apologetically to her. 

He was as nice as he looked. Almost like a gentle, placid puppy which makes you wonder, how is someone like him at one of these conventions. Specifically, someone who is quite religious. You didn’t want to judge right away, but that was the preface of your observation.

“I take it you’ve never been to one of these before,” he points out as he waits. 

Your shoulders relax defeatedly, someone had finally ripped down your facade, “can you tell?”

“Just a little bit,” he grins. “But props to you for coming here on your own by the looks of it.”

“A friend of mine recommended I go so I thought I should,” you respond, eyeing up some of the other products.

He nods engagingly, “really? Why did they recommend it to you if you don’t mind me asking?” 

“Just…looking to get into BDSM,” you reply honestly, feeling comfortable enough to talk to him about this. Plus there was no point in hiding your intentions given where you are now. “He said I should go to one of these events, check out the stores, and see how some of this stuff works I suppose.” 

The lady returns from the back with exactly what he requested while also picking up a few extra things before paying for the lot. Your attention fixates on those items, wondering who he uses them on; a pyrex glass dildo, one tube of strawberries and cream flavoured lube, and also a ball gag

Whoever his partner is must be lucky. 

The shopkeeper bags all of the items he paid for in a discrete bag before he thanks her.

“That's a good step, but if you’re a beginner, it’d be best for you to start out small,” he advises just an idea suddenly strikes him. He wonders for a second about whether or not it’s appropriate to ask, but he considers your circumstances and why you’re even here. 

“I figured that. No point in me diving right into the deep end when I can’t swim yet,” you agree. 

“You know, because we’re both here, we should get together sometime so we can talk about these kinds of things. I could show you how all of these work too if you want,” he pitches his suggestion to you, holding up the bag of things that he just purchased. 

You stare up at him, utterly bewildered, “wait, are you serious?”

“Only if you are, otherwise-“

“No!” You cut him off. “I mean, yes - yes I am serious. It’s just, I was shocked that you even asked me.”

He stifles a chuckle as a reaction to you being so oddly yet unforceably cute, “alright then. I’ll give you my number. I’m Jeongin by the way.”

“Jeongin, okay. I’m Y/N.”

It was nice to finally put a name to a handsome face. Jeongin, who was as unsuspecting as the come, had exchanged numbers with you before you both departed. He left you wondering so much more about his personality and particularly his interests with BDSM. It even made you forget to text Minho to tell him how well the convention went.

Right before you decided that you were going to ring him, a text came through to you from Jeongin. 

To you from Jeongin: ‘Hey Y/N, it’s Jeongin. It was nice meeting you the other day. I was wondering if you wanted to catch up over coffee to talk and get to know each other more. If so, when are you free?’

You to Jeongin: ‘Hey Jeongin, it was nice meeting you as well. I’m free in the afternoons throughout the week. We could go for coffee on campus after class if it’s not too far?’

Jeongin to You: ‘Nope, that’s perfect. Shall we say Monday straight after? We can head there together.’

You to Jeongin: ‘Sounds good to me. See you then.’

Jeongin to You: ‘Yup! :)’

With those responses from him in mind, it made looking forward to Monday a little more palatable. Usually, it’s hectic with quizzes, tonnes of readings, and a boring two hour lecture. Meeting up with Jeongin meant you had something to look forward to after class. 

Just as the lecture comes to an end, you look back to the middle row of seats in the centre section of the room as you pack up your things and see Jeongin waving out to you. You wave back, acknowledging that you’ve seen him and watch him say bye to his friends before he makes his way down to you. A couple of them seemed rather puzzled that he was leaving them, but nonetheless, they let him be. 

“Hey Y/N,” he says to you, walking down the steps. “What did you think of that?”

“Boring as per,” you groan. “It made me want to sleep.”

Jeongin laughed, “shall we go before you fall asleep then?”

The pair of you exited the theatre together and headed to one of the nearby cafes on campus. Normally teeming with hungry students, the venue wasn’t as packed as it usually is from the help of classes that run through into lunch. It meant that you and Jeongin were able to receive your drinks relatively quickly in order to sit down and start talking.

“How was your weekend?” He asks you.

You finish bringing your drink down from your lips, “not as exciting as I wished it had been. Mainly just catching up on some of the online work that we were meant to do.”

Jeongin is shaking his head but silently agreeing with you, “I don’t know why they bother giving us tasks to do online.”

“I suppose to make us suffer even more,” you guess. 

“I think you might be right, and since it’s worth credit, we have no choice,” he snickers. “But anyway, on a completely different note, what did you think of your first BDSM event?” 

“Not as daunting as I was expecting it to be,” you answer honestly. “It was pretty pleasant, to say the least, and the people I met were really nice.”

“That’s good to know,” Jeongin nods. “Usually I hear of beginners who get too overwhelmed and never come back. It’s a shame really because they only see the tip of the iceberg.”

“Do you normally attend those events?” You ask him, still immensely intrigued that he even went in the first place. 

“Only when I can,” he responds. “Most of the time, classes and other stuff get in the way, but I’ve found a balance now. What made you want to get into BDSM anyway?”

“A friend of mine is well into that space and I always hear him talking about it. Since then it’s always interested me, so I started doing some research about it,” you answer. “It was the same person who told me to go to that event.”

“Smart choice for doing your research, not many people do and just head straight into something they don’t know,” Jeongin mentally applauds you. “It can turn out to be a really good or really terrible experience for beginners.”

“Yeah, he warned me about that,” you chuckle, just thinking of Minho and what he’s said to you in the past. “What about you? How did you get into BDSM? Sounds like you’re already in that space.”

“I am. I’ve been in it for four years, since the start of my degree,” Jeongin confirms adjusting his black glasses. “I got into it just by interest as well - similar to you, except, I didn’t have the pleasure of knowing someone who was already part of this space so some things I had to learn the hard way.” 

“Then I take it that you’re relatively experienced then,” you respond, inferring an assumption already.

Jeongin smiles shyly, almost like he’s somewhat embarrassed by your comment, “you could say that. Is it right to assume that you’re looking for someone to do scenes with?”

You give a nod, “yes. Just…didn’t know who with.”

“That fits then; given that I have some experience and you haven’t yet, then maybe we do a trial, see if we click, those sorts of aspects. What do you think about that?” He asks you. 

An excitement thumps against your chest, “I think that’s a good idea.”

“Yeah?” He replies with optimism. “Then if it’s okay with you, do you maybe want to talk about some of your kinks and things that you don’t like and organise a time and place for our first scene?” 

“I’d love to.” 

Both you and Jeongin brought a lot of ideas to the table, conducting a healthy discussion about what you’re both into and not. Although he openly stated to you that he mainly presents himself as a dom, he was open to switching too. However, for the purpose of getting you into the swing of BDSM, it would be best for him to take the reins.

So with a little more talking, you both came up with a set date and time for the first scene which was to be at Jeongin’s place; not too far from campus. All the information and the logistics leading up to the scene were slightly nerve-wracking but didn’t match your level of excitement. 

Considering your inexperience with BDSM, Jeongin had to factor in what would be the best method of easing you into things. Sensory play was the one thing that came to mind. It’s not too extreme, can involve some restraints, and can act as a good stepping stone for a BDSM beginner. 

“It’s a good way to start off,” Jeongin said to you back at the cafe. “If it’s just sensory play only, people don’t usually climax from it. But if there’s some sort of sexual penetration that’s involved, then most likely. I don’t do the latter.”

“Still sounds like fun,” you replied.

“It is. I can deprive you of one or more of your senses which will only enhance the other.”

His way of describing the basics of sensory play could’ve easily put you to sleep – not because it was boring, but because his voice was so silky smooth that you could listen to it all day. The fact that he has so much knowledge about a subject was strangely erotic.

With your mind cleared in preparation for the scene, Jeongin flicks you a text an hour beforehand to see if you are still keen. He definitely knows that you are, but it’s also to cover his end as a dom to ensure that you know that you can pull out of the scene before it starts. 

To You from Jeongin: Hey Y/N, still on for tonight? 

From you to Jeongin: ‘Hey! Absolutely, I’ll text you when I’m at yours?’

To You from Jeongin: ‘I’ll look forward to it.’

Even if you didn’t want to go through with it tonight, Jeongin would be okay with that. For whatever reason why you would say no, he’s happy that you would feel safe to refuse. But never in your wildest dreams would you ever think of refusing, because as soon as it was time to leave, there was no doubt in your mind that you would turn back.

You had showered and packed a bag with a towel, extra clothes in case, a water bottle, and some snacks. If anyone were to come up to you and look into your duffle, their only thought would be that you’re heading to a gym nearby, not heading to your first BDSM scene. It was a nice little secret to have. 

As you arrive on the street of Jeongin’s apartment, you text him to say that you’re nearly there and knock on the door once you’ve officially made it.

“Hey,” he greets with his smiley usual self. “Come in.”

“Hey,” you respond, looking around as you step in. 

It was rather spacious which is usually not generous with student accommodation. Normally it’s one room cramped with a desk, chair, inadequate storage underneath the single bed and a community bathroom down the hall. By the looks of it, Jeongin had all this space to himself including a small bathroom and mini kitchenette area. 

“Wow, you got lucky with student housing around here.”

“Can’t stress the word ‘lucky’ enough,” Jeongin emphasises, closing the door behind you as you take your shoes off. “Took me about four months last year just to apply for a viewing. But after living in shared accommodation on campus, I needed my own space.”

“Fair enough,” you say. “Some student spaces are lucky enough to have wallpaper. But anyway.”

“Would you like something to eat or drink?” He offers. “I bought food earlier on.”

“No it’s okay thank you, I made sure to have some water and food before the scene,” you politely refuse. 

“Okay, good,” Jeongin nods, impressed even. Those who forget to eat before a scene will often find that their energy depletes faster, rendering them unable to continue or even worse, it could go hand in hand with a sub drop. “Then in that case, shall we get started?”

Your stomach flips excitedly, “sounds good to me.”

Jeongin does the honours of leading you to his bedroom. It’s adorned with a minimalistic aesthetic and beautiful muted tones. There’s a decent queen-sized bed centred back against the wall. Laid on top of its surface is a black cardboard box and a set of black restraints right beside it in contrast with the white fitted duvet. Flickering on the bedside table burned a red candle.

From what you could gather, it was most likely for wax play, but it smelt amazing. Almost a woody with a tinge of floral essence to it that filled his room.

“We can start the scene by taking your clothes off and I’ll get these restraints ready, okay?” Jeongin suggests to you. 

“Okay.” 

He steps over towards the mattress, picking up the long restraints. Only two – one for each of your wrists that he was going to link to the bedposts. He secures the ends of them in place while you strip yourself down to your bra and underwear. You fold them over your arms as Jeongin returns to carefully take them from you and places them on his chair in the corner of the room. 

He comes back once he’s done, eyeing up your body. It’s not that he meant to gawk or observe you per se, but he was in fact silently appreciating your body. He could only just hide the fact that he’s very taken with how you look and the way you pull off a simple black bra and underwear set. 

It wasn’t lingerie, but they were intricated pieces. Jeongin seems to be aware of that when you feel him delicately glide his fingertips down the straps of your bra from behind while you stare into his mirror on the wall. 

“This is is pretty,” he says. 

You swallow quietly, content with his observation, “yeah?” 

“Yes, but unfortunately I need it off for this scene. Is that okay with you?” He asks. 

“That’s okay,” you reply clearly.

“Okay then, what’s your colour?”

“Green.” 

With your given consent in mind, Jeongin works behind your back to unclasp your bra and places it with the rest of your clothes. It’s not an awkward moment for either of you given that it was nothing in comparison to the things he had planned for you. 

“Beautiful,” he comments, his eyes lingering for a few seconds too long in the mirror. Your cheeks instantly become hotter, hoping Jeongin can just hurry up and put the blindfold over your eyes so you don’t have to look at him. “Let’s move to the bed. I’ll get you to lie down so I can put the restraints on your wrists.” 

On his instruction, you make your way over to his bed after he moves the black box to the nightstand. You sit down on the mattress edge and prop your legs up until you’re able to lie down flat with your head on his pillow.

Jeongin slightly manoeuvres each of your arms before strapping your wrists into the restraints and for a couple of seconds there, you’re in your own mind. It still baffles you that you struck gold with Jeongin by absolute chance. Not to mention he’s the same person who attends church and goes to bible studies and is the same person who’s tying you to his bed. 

“Not too tight?” He checks in with you. 

“Nope, that’s fine,” you reply. 

Jeongin takes the lid off of the box on the side and takes out the silk black blindfold he purchased from the convention the other day, “okay, I’m going to place the blindfold over your eyes now.”

You nod as total darkness shields you from the predictable. Now you can’t see what’s coming next. The excitement and anticipation hinder all nervousness you’ve been feeling while Jeongin takes a moment to appreciate the state that you’re in. It’s not often for him to be so taken with a person to the point where he just about forgets what he’s doing.

Only then does he realise that he’s in a scene and needs to refocus. 

Once he’s content with everything, he decides to move on, “now we can start.” 

He goes back to the box, careful not to make too much sound so that you can’t grasp a hint of what might be inside. The first item he picks up is a long, spindly black feather. It’s simple yet very effective, responsible for creating that ticklish sensation when he dances it lightly and softly along your skin. On its first contact, your nerves try to anticipate where Jeongin will take the feather next, but their guesses come up short when he uses it somewhere else. 

The feather glides from the base of your throat, downwards and in between your tits. Jeongin then uses it to delicately lick over your nipple, making you keen slightly to one side. You can’t help but suppress a moan by biting down on your lip. It shouldn’t feel this good too early, but you can’t help your body’s natural reaction to the feather that leaves tingles in your muscles throughout its wake. 

The smile on Jeongin’s face indicates that he’s enjoying watching you squirm and quietly whimper, still teasing you with the black plume. He drags it from the tips of your toes, up your shin, and right over your clothed pussy, making you press your head back into the pillow. 

Jeongin makes a mental note of that reaction and smirks. To him, those small effects of what he’s doing to your body with only a feather, make him wonder how sensitive you really are. But it’s not his whole desire to spend too much time with it and proceeds to move on to something else; the hot wax. 

After placing the previous item in the box, Jeongin swaps it for the candle. The catcher has collected a substantial amount of wax at the bottom which will allow him to pour the majority of it out before it starts to solidify. But Jeongin stalls for a moment as he tries to make up his mind on where to pour first. 

In his opinion, he wants to cover all the sensitive parts that you’ll let him. Your tits, collarbone, throat, tummy, wherever. Eventually, however, he knows he’ll get to those places. So he starts with your tummy, watching the hot wax drip and dribble onto your skin, hardening as it makes contact. 

A gasp is forced out of your mouth, “s-shit-“

“Too hot?” Jeongin asks you, pulling back the candle before he goes to pour again. 

“N-No,” you shake your head fervently. “J-Just wasn’t expecting-"

Jeongin pours a steady line of wax in between your tits, prying your mouth open for slightly quiet yet strained moans to roll from the base of your throat.

He expects you to have some sort of reaction to the hot wax, but not like this. Usually, people try to escape from the head, some swear like sailors, and others might scream or yelp. You on the other hand…it makes him wonder if you’re a masochist with the way you’re moaning from the slight pain. 

Nonetheless, he drips more wax, this time down your abdomen, forcing you to purse your lips to suppress any sound.

Despite the temperature of the thick content, your brain, for whatever reason, deduces it as a good sensation rather than a bad one. It does burn a bit, but not to the point where you feel like you need to call for a break. That feeling when it settles into the skin where it’s magnificent and warm is too good to pass up, allowing you to keep going.

With the session barely in full swing, you’re trying to keep it together for Jeongin so that hopefully he’d invite you back for another. Yet, within the second you even start thinking about that, Jeongin pours some of the wax, just about the line of your underwear, making you tug hard on the restraints. 

“Fuck – oh my god,” you groan, feeling the heat emulsify within your lower half. It spreads beautifully, just where you want it. “That feels…” 

“Good?” Jeongin asks, making your back arch slightly when he drips more wax from your sternum to just above your belly button. There are some areas that he won’t cover with the wax since he wants enough sensitive space for the next part of the scene. 

“Y-Yes.” 

Since Jeongin has some verbal confirmation from you that the heat feels good, his indication of pinning you for being a masochist grows stronger. It’s not abnormal, but it’s rare. Not everyone is a fan of pain and some even find it confusing when it’s applied in the bedroom.

That’s not Jeongin though. He appreciates pain and pleasure in a controlled environment. In saying that, he cannot make a full observation of whether or not you’re a full-blown masochist. He’d need to actually ask you first and run other ‘tests’ to achieve a result. 

In light of the pain, Jeongin makes use of the little wax he has left, steadily pouring it onto the underside of your tits – close to where you want it. When there’s no content left at the bottom of the catcher, he moves on once more. This time, to a completely opposite temperature. 

He sets the candle back down on the nightstand, leaving it to continue burning so that the aroma fills the room rather than smoke if he were to blow it out. You then hear his footsteps shuffling around to the other side of the bed, making you wonder what it is that he’s doing. But despite tuning your ears into his every movement, Jeongin makes sure to be as careful as he can to ensure that you don’t know what’s coming next. 

The one thing that you hadn’t noticed in his room the second you walked in was a mini tin bucket of ice cubes on the other side of his bed. He gave away zero hints towards his next move, so when he quietly picked up one of the cubes and immediately placed it just above your tits, you suck in a huge gasp. 

“Geez, I wasn’t ready,” you sigh out some of the anticipation that’s building inside of you. 

Jeongin smiles, “good.” 

The areas of your body that are free from the hardened wax allow him to glide the ice cube gently over your skin. The temperature in comparison to the wax is electrifying, more so than what you ever would have anticipated – had you known it was coming. 

Jeongin watches the ice cubes melt from your body heat, seeing the droplets of water pool for a second and run down your sides. When the first cube has melted down completely, Jeongin picks up another. This time, he drags it slowly above the band of your underwear again. 

“Mm! Fuck…” you exclaim loudly, trying to conduct the sensation when it only just builds. “S-Sorry.” 

“You’re okay,” Jeongin reassures you. 

He then brings the ice cube up to one of your nipples, causing you to arch your back and tug on the restraints simultaneously as a sharp gasp leaves your mouth. The corners of Jeongin’s mouth perk up at your reaction. He doesn’t want to be too predictable and switch to your other nipple. Instead, he manages to pick up another ice cube and uses it on your other nipple, dancing it around your sensitive buds that have begun to stiffen and perk up.

Your poor brain is confused by the stimulation. It’s not happening between your legs but you can feel it from your chest. It feels weird not to be contracting around anything, which only makes you wish you were. Nonetheless, it’s still valid stimulation that you feel building and at first, you’re not sure if it’s an orgasm that’s forming or if it just feels good. 

Regardless of the matter, you can’t help it. It’s patterning the pleasure for you to experience without you having any say in it whatsoever. Your mind is muddled with what to say – how to express how you feel or what’s happening to your body. 

Jeongin has some idea of it now that he’s been listening to you panting and watching you writhe on his bed just from a couple of ice cubes. However, he wants to see how this plays out. 

“J-Jeongin,” you mumble, sucking in small breaths of air. “I’m…”

His ears spring up at the sound of his name, but he refrains from saying anything at all. Instead, he picks up another ice cube, allowing the one in his left hand to melt away before applying the fresh one. The chilly sensation replenishes but it doesn’t stop that sensation that you can feel in your tits all the way through to your pussy. Even though it feels similar to an orgasm, it triggers zero verbal response when it decides to hit you out of nowhere. 

Jeongin sees your mouth part, your legs bracketing together like they’re trying to find something to clamp around. All the while, he doesn’t stop stimulating your nipples with the cubes until your back is flat on his bed again. He had to see it through to the end. 

Breathless and slightly dazed as you were, the first thing that came to mind was that you did in fact cum. Following that came anxiously wondering what Jeongin’s reaction was.

At that, an invisible weight of embarrassment starts tugging you down. You wanted the blindfold to remain over your eyes, terrified of meeting whatever expression was laden on Jeongin’s face. There was no point in trying to gauge how he reacted when you orgasmed, but there was one thing for sure and that was he didn’t stop you from doing it. 

A few lingering moments later, Jeongin becomes satisfied with the tail end of the scene. He got through the aspects of sensory play that you both wanted to cover from the conversation you had at the beginning of the week.

He gently removes the silk blindfold from your eyes, fixing some of your hair in the process to get it out of your eyes. Even though your eyes shy away from his face, Jeongin can easily see the deep red burning through your cheeks. 

“I’ll get these off for you,” Jeongin murmurs, already freeing one of your wrists from the restraint before moving on to the other.

Once you’re completely unrestricted, you sit up straight away and start blabbing out an explanation to him. 

“Just so you know, I didn’t have other intentions going into this,” you speak quickly. “I just wasn’t expecting to…to-“

Slightly taken aback, Jeongin had to step in to reassure you that there’s nothing wrong, “Y/N, it’s okay, seriously. It’s not your fault that your body couldn’t help but do what it needed to. But you’ve just come out of a scene and I want to make sure that you’re ok-“

“Yes but, you said the other day that people don’t usually climax from sensory play only,” you interrupt him. 

He softens a bit, a small grin forming on his face, “I said ‘usually’ not ‘never’. I didn’t rule out that possibility.” 

You suddenly click onto his words, “so there is a possibility that they still can.” 

“Yes, but you don’t have anything to be embarrassed about or sorry for. Some people can orgasm through nipple stimulation. It’s not always easy, but you managed to do it, with ice too, and relatively fast. Plus, I thought it was cute,” he responds. 

‘Cute?’ If melting from embarrassment was a thing, you’d be a puddle all over his floor. Your face comes to fall into your hands, almost making him giggle. 

Jeongin then continues, “now, if you’ll let me help you, I’ll show you to the shower to get some of the wax off. Then we can have some of that food I was talking about earlier.” 

-

A/N: again, this was meant for Kinktober but my dumb ass didn’t upload it. I’m turning this into a bit of a slow burn series, but not just yet because I’m working on other things atm as listed down below:

1. Noxious Compulsions

Minsung x reader (you can find the snippet here)

2. Foul Play

Part 2 to Don’t bite the hand that feeds you

3. Venom Eater

Part 2 to Venom Biter

4. Some things are better left known

Part 2 to ‘Some things are better left unknown’

These are the main pieces that I’m working on at the moment bc they will be quite dense, and I try to add as much detail in as I can. However, there are 100% other things that I have still sitting in my Doc’s folder that I’ll release too!

[sturniozo]

Savage Love

Matt Sturniolo x reader Mafia AU

Summary: After a night out with her friends, Y/n wakes up in a hotel bed with a handsome stranger with no memory of the night before. Pieceing together what she can, she finds the man she woke up with wasn’t just some stranger, but the most powerful man in New York.

A/N: I’m basing all of my mafia knowledge on watching the god father when I was six and that one episode of community with the chicken fingers. Other than that I have no clue how mafia works so this might not be as good as you hope but hey I tried. Tell me if you want me to continue this though! I had fun writing it!

Masterlist

I never go out with my friends and I felt bad about it for a long time. But today, Emma convinced me to go dancing with her at a club in New York. I’ve been in the city many times, as I live just outside of it, in a small apartment above a bookshop. But the city of New York still terrifies me, especially at night. There’s a rumor of a secret organization that controls just about everything in the city, and if you cross the man at the top then you’re done for.

Of course, these are just rumors and haven’t actually been proven. I have nothing to fear, right?

Now I’m sitting in front of Emma’s vanity mirror getting ready as she does my hair.

“Oh you should totally wear it down! Curl it a bit, let it hang over your shoulders. You might hook up tonight, you never know.” Emma teases as she messes with my hair. I finish curling my lashes and then turn to her.

“I don’t think I’ll hook up at all. I’m just not the type.” I shrug and stand up, switching places with Emma as she sits in front of her vanity mirror to do her own makeup.

“Well, I am the type.” She says as she starts with contour. I walk into the bathroom and plug in the curling iron to heat it up.

“You can hook up with any guy you want.” I say to Emma. “Just make sure he wraps it. I don’t want to be an aunt so soon.” I laugh.

Emma and I have been best friends since fourth grade. She’s my polar opposite, although we have the same dreams. We’re both journalists writing for a small newspaper outlet right outside of New York.

Emma’s the type to do things we’re doing now almost every day. She always tells me about all the big parties and exclusive events and venues she’s attended. She’s talk to, and slept with, many of the biggest people in multiple industries to get information for her articles.

I take a different approach. My stories come from the smaller people. The homeless and the struggling. I try to bring attention to the lower class of America.

I bet you can guess whose stories get published. Hence why I live in a small apartment above a bookshop, and Emma has a penthouse.

“God, I know. I can’t handle having a baby now. I’m only 20 for Pete’s sake!” Emma laughs and sets down her makeup brush. She turns to me and says “But I need to sleep with someone big and important tonight. I’m dying here, I haven had a story published in almost two weeks!”

I sigh. Two weeks is nothing. Try five months. I’m basically just a consultant at this point.

Emma turns back to the mirror to finish her makeup. I check the curling iron and it’s nice and hot, so I begin to curl the ends of my hair. Just a little curly at the edge.

Emma gets up from the mirror and starts shutting off lights and electronics around her penthouse. I unplug the curling iron and walk into the front room to put on my shoes and grab my purse. Emma shut off the last light and we walk out of the penthouse. She locks the door and we get into the elevator, going down to the front desk.

Emma has an Uber waiting for us. The great thing about Emma is, no matter how much more she has than me, she always gives and never asks for any in return. It’s always been this way. She’s the sweetest friend I’ve ever had. She’s also the most ruthless journalist I’ve ever met.

We get into the Uber and the driver starts for the city. It’s a long drive, one that me and Emma use to our advantage and try to find out who’s the most important person attending the party.

“Oh my god!” Emma says after a long silence of us just looking at our phones.

“What is it, who will be there?” I ask frantically.

“Matt Sturniolo!”

I look at her, confused. “Who’s that?”

“Who’s that? WHO’S THAT? Matt Sturniolo is only the most powerful guy in New York!”

“That can’t be true, how come I’ve never heard of him?”

“Because you focus on who can help the lower class. He can’t help them, it’s not in his power.”

“Then he doesn’t have much power.”

“Oh, he has power. He has all the power. It’s his rumor that he’s the one who controls all the important somebody’s in New York. I gotta make it my mission to sleep with him. God, I bet he’s good in bed.” She says to herself.

I let out a laugh. “What story do you plan together by sleeping with him?”

“I want to know if the rumor is true, duh!” She laughs and lightly hits my shoulder.

We arrive at the venue. It’s large and the music is blaring. We step out of the car and I lean to Emma and say loudly so she can hear me over the music “The most powerful man in New York is gonna be here?” I laugh. “This doesn’t look like a scene you’d catch someone so important in.”

“Trust me, he’ll be here. Steph said so, and she’s always right!” Emma says back. She takes my hand and drags me through the line, showing the bouncer a VIP pass for both her and I. They let us in and Emma immediately drags me to the bar.

“Two vodka martinis!” She says to the bartender. The bartender nods and begins our drinks. I turn around to look at all the people dancing. Men in half dressed suits grinding on women in the shortest dresses. This is what Emma does every day? I understand the appeal, but the loud music and the flashing lights just aren’t for me.

We get our drinks and Emma takes me to a table to sit down at. “So what do we do now?” I ask.

“We mingle!” She shouts and raises her hands in the air.

The rest of the night that I can still remember was filled with drinking and Emma talking to numerous people, always asking about the guy who’s name I can no longer remember due to my copious consumption of alcohol. The last thing I remember was talking to a tall, handsome, dark haired man with beautiful light blue eyes.

~

I awake with a pounding headache. I raise my head from my pillow and slowly open my eyes, groaning from the pain. I look around and realize, this is not my bedroom. This is not Emma’s bedroom. I have no clue where I am. I scan the room and my eyes fall on a strange man sitting on the couch. I gasp and he looks up at me.

“Good, you’re awake. I was wondering if I’d have to drop you at the emergency room.” He laughs to himself.

I sit up fully in the bed. “Who are you? Where am I?” I ask frantically.

“My names Matt, and-“ I stop him

“Oh my god.”

“It’s fine just-“

“Oh god what happened?”

“Nothing, I-“

“I was drunk!”

“I know, that’s why I-“

“Tell me I didn’t. We didn’t.”

“Would you let me fucking speak?” He yells. “I didn’t fucking touch you, okay? You were dancing on a table and your friend had gone home with some guy so I got you a hotel room. You could barely stand and you just passed out on the bed.” He finishes with a huff.

I stare up at him in shock. “So we didn’t”

“No. We didn’t.” He pauses. “But we could.” He says with a smirk.

A blush appears on my cheeks and my breath shakes “What?” I ask

“Well you’re an attractive girl, I wouldn’t mind it.” He laughs. “But I have a meeting in an hour, so it’ll have to be another time. Want my number while you think about it?” He asks and before I can answer he hands me a card. “I got an Uber waiting for you whenever you’re ready to go home, it’s already paid for. Just do whatever you need to before you leave.” He says, clearly insisting I shower and eat. “And tell the driver where you need to go. Don’t forget to call, doll face.” He says before leaving and closing the door behind him.

I look down at the card he had handed me.

‘Matt Sturniolo.’ With an address and phone number.

Tags: @stargirlsturniololover (the one who came up with the idea for Mafia!Matt) @sturniolobessed

[galedekarios]

more gale & tara epilogue stuff

tara's epilogue conversation is so extremely devastating if gale sacrificed himself. since i can't bring myself to play it, i thought i'd look at it in the files and share what i find here.

tara can be found at camp and this is how the conversation with the player begins:

Tara the Tressym: Oh, hello, darling. I was hoping to see you. Withers informed me about this little get-together and I thought I'd show my whiskers.devnote Tara the Tressym: I can almost feel Gale here. Among his friends - in you. Some part of him remains, doesn't it? devnote: Gale has died so she's very sad and nostalgic.

this devnote is repeated for almost every line for tara in this convo.

from here, the player has various options to reply. i'll be going through them in order.

the first is one where the player points out the magically conjured image of himself that gale left behind in case of his permanent death:

Player: Well, his magical ghost is still here, if that's what you mean. Tara the Tressym: That thing's no more than a shadow of the real man. A nonsense. Though it captures some of his more insufferable qualities...

the second option is the player saying that they are feeling something similar, a presence that reminds them of gale:

Player: It does, Tara. I can feel his presence too. Tara the Tressym: A crackling in the air, isn't it? That flair of magic and mischief.

despite the tragedy of it all, i do love tara describing gale's presence as 'that flair of magic and mischief'. it's so very sweet and sad, especially remembering just long she's known him.

perhaps here she remembers the boy who accidentally set the rose bush on fire and cried, just as elminster does. or perhaps the boy who summoned a magma mephit, causing chaos, but also making a lifelong friend.

the third option is to tell tara that you miss gale, too, and this honestly made me tear up:

Player: I miss him too, Tara. Tara the Tressym: That's good. We should miss him. He was such a lovely fellow. Proud as a peacock, but... my little love. Tara the Tressym: Oh, what I wouldn't give to snuggle up on his lap one more time. Just once would do. Player: Would a fuss from me make you feel better?

"He was such a lovely fellow. Proud as a peacock, but... my little love."

PROUD AS A PEACOCK BUT... MY LITTLE LOVE

M Y L I T T L E L O V E

this is obviously completely fine so i'll continue with the fourth option:

Player: You can snuggle up in my lap later, if you like. Tara the Tressym: Oh, I couldn't possibly... unless... well, perhaps it's not a terrible idea. Gale would be quite pleased to know we've made friends, wouldn't he?

it's clear that tara needs some comfort. despite her stiff upper lip approach to most news devastating to her and the thin veneer of control she puts on here.

the fifth option is expressing that you know how she feels:

Player: I know how you feel. Tara the Tressym: Ah, to lose the one you love the most. What a terrible thing.

the sixth option is rather callous and tara's response to it once again heartbreaking:

Player: Alas, you can't. Tara the Tressym: No. Not in this life, at least.

the last option again shows tara's true grief at what happened:

Player: He's gone. We have to accept that. Tara the Tressym: I suppose we do. But I certainly wish we didn't.

most of these different options lead to the end of the conversation with tara, where she invites the player to visit her and morena in waterdeep:

Tara the Tressym: Perhaps you'd be willing to come meet Gale's mother, some time? She misses him so - and I know it would do her heart a world of good to discuss her son with someone who knew him as he was.

again, the player has various choices to either accept or refuse her invitation. i won't go through them all and you can read for yourself in the screenshot i provided. but i do want to look at these two options here:

Tara the Tressym: Perhaps you'd be willing to come meet Gale's mother, some time? She misses him so - and I know it would do her heart a world of good to discuss her son with someone who knew him as he was. Player: I'd love to, but I'm leaving Faerûn after tonight. Tara the Tressym: Well if you ever come back do look us up in Waterdeep. Surname 'Dekarios'. I'd enjoy the chance to reminisce about the good man we knew.

i'm once more reminded of that one line in elminster's letter and i feel so sad for morena:

Does he live within his mother’s ageing heart, weeping for those roses? 

2.

Player: I'll consider it. Tara the Tressym: See that you do. We'd love to have you. Things have been rather quiet without himself cluttering up the place.

which made me think about gale's line that his tower has never been so free of clutter ever since he had to deal with his condition.

anyhow, i hope this was interesting to some of you!

[uptondixon]

Upstead Foster Daughter

Did you ever wonder how Upstead would be as foster parents for a teenage girl? Like Hank and Erin, Hailey and Jay welcomed Olivia to their home when she was 16. Olivia holds a lot of grudges and is full of mischief, but she is also incredibly sweet and has a tremendous need to feel like she belongs. To her surprise, Hailey and Jay will give her exactly that.

Masterlist

[Chapter II] “You’re on your own, kid, you always have been”

No one expected to hear a stranger's voice through their radio, let alone saying that Jay was bleeding out on the pavement.

“Who the hell are you?” Voight’s surprised voice came through the radio.

“My name is Olivia Rivera, I'm with your officer Halstead and he's been shot! I'm sorry I couldn't call an ambulance but I don't have my phone with me,” Olivia said everything so fast they almost couldn't understand it.

“Shot? What the hell?” said Hailey in exasperation. She was driving with Voight after Jay left by himself.

The whole team was checking the crime scene from their current case when Jay got a call from a CI. Hailey was busy interrogating a witness when he got the call. She told him to wait for her but he was so eager for whatever information his CI had to give that he decided to go by himself. Turns out it was a trap. Hailey did not know the details yet, but she couldn’t help but think that this would have not happened if she had been with him.

“Wh-where are you?” Hailey asked, already feeling her heart start to beat out of her chest.

Olivia told her the address as slowly as possible in her state; after that, Hailey started bombarding her with questions she did not know how to answer.

While they talked, Voight rushed in passing the address to dispatch requesting an ambulance and some patrol cars. The rest of the team followed behind.

“Is he conscious?” Hailey asked.

Silence followed her question, leaving them both tense.

“Olivia! Is he conscious?” Hailey repeated.

“I- He- He was until now when I called you.”

“Does he still have a pulse, Olivia?” Hailey guided her to check.

“Yes, he does!”

“Okay, okay, keep putting pressure on the wound.”

“What's the ambulance ETA?” Voight's rough voice questioned dispatch.

“We're close, hang tight Olivia,” Hailey said, trying to calm the girl and herself down. He would make it, he always made it. This was not his first time being shot, but she surely hoped it was his last. She couldn't do this last time and she especially can't do it now.

“He'll be fine, Hailey,” Voight's voice invaded her thoughts. “Halstead’s strong, he'll get through this.”

Olivia didn't like hospitals. She felt trapped, unsafe, and overwhelmed. Probably because of the amount of people coming and going, the voices overlapping each other. There was too much going on and she shouldn't even be there in the first place.

After Jay's co-workers got to them everything happened in a blur. The ambulance got there seconds later, along with the other members of the team.

When Hailey and Voight arrived, Hailey came running in Jay and Olivia’s direction. She stared at the teenager with a mix of desperation and gratitude. Olivia stepped away as Hailey took her place. As others approached, Olivia stepped more and more away from the scene, ending up a little far away from it all.

She watched the scene unfold before her eyes in a trance. Jay was put into an ambulance and taken to the hospital, with several police cars following behind. Should she leave? She wants to know if he is going to be alright, of course. On the other hand, she feels like she was not supposed to be there.

“Hey! Olivia, isn't it?” a tall man appeared in her field of vision, his eyes were gentle and his voice calm.

“Yes,” Olivia answered.

“Name’s Kevin, Kevin Atwater. This is my friend, Kim Burgess,” he pointed to the woman beside him, and she smiled softly. Both officers looked shaken but they masked well, Olivia thought. Of course, this was not easy for them. Seeing a colleague hurt like that, almost lifeless.

“There's someone we can call for you? Your mom or dad?” Kim asked.

The girl didn’t answer. Kevin and Kim exchanged a look.

“Well, just come to the hospital with us then, okay?”

Voight watched them from afar, getting ready to enter the car and head to Med. Jay was the priority now, but they all were grateful for the girl, she saved Jay’s life after all. He made a mental note to thank her personally later.

Olivia debated for a moment. She decided it was better if she went with them and found a way to leave later without them noticing.

She nodded and followed them to the car.

“You can get cleaned up there,” Kim said after getting in the car.

Kevin started the drive to Med. Olivia didn’t answer the officer, suddenly feeling hyper-aware of all the blood on her. The adrenaline was wearing down.

“Are you okay, Olivia?” Kim asked softly.

“Yeah, sorry… I'm fine.”

“It’s okay, we will get to the hospital soon.”

Sitting in the doctors' room in Chicago Med a couple of hours later, Olivia was clean and waiting for a chance to leave. The really nice nurse called April who helped her clean up and gave her some food came by minutes ago and told her Jay would be alright. She left again when another nurse called for her so now was the perfect time for Olivia to leave.

She did not need to be discharged since she was neither a patient nor a suspect, right? Olivia got up and left the room, bringing some of the snacks the nurse gave her.

“Don’t worry Hails, we’re getting the bastard who shot Jay,” Kevin said firmly, looking at a very distressed-looking Hailey. Olivia got to the hospital’s lounge and saw Jay’s team reunited talking. They had their backs to the door she entered and could not see her.

They started to talk about the man who shot Jay and what they were doing to find him, most of which Olivia did not understand or did not care to try to understand. She stopped paying attention and started to plan how she would get out of there. There was only one way out and she could not leave without them seeing her.

Olivia was scared. She knew she wasn’t in trouble or anything but they were still police so she might as well be in trouble if they got to know more about her. Hell, they might as well already know.

“Stay with your husband Hailey, we’ll get him,” Voight's words drew Olivia's attention. Husband? That explained why Hailey was the most distressed of them all. The look on her face when she saw him lying on the pavement.

“Oh! Olivia, there you are,” said April, the nurse who helped Olivia earlier. Olivia's name caught the group's attention and five heads turned to look in her direction.

“Olivia!” Voight said, approaching the girl. “How are you? I need to properly thank you for helping my detective, I don’t know what could have happened if you weren’t there.”

“I… well, he was…” Olivia did not know what to say, so she came with a simple “You’re welcome” and a shy smile. She didn't expect to talk with anyone, let alone have all the attention on her.

“Well, I’m Sergeant Hank Voight and this is my team,” he went on introducing each of them. “You met Officer Kim Burgess and Officer Kevin Atwater. Detective Hailey Upton was the one you spoke with on the radio. And that is Officer Adam Ruzek.” he pointed to each one and they gave her a nod or a small smile.

After the introduction, he turned to look at her again. He spoke in a more serious tone, “We’re going to need your statement.”

Shit. That is exactly what she was trying to avoid. “I can’t!” was the first thing that came out of her mouth.

“It’s okay Olivia, we checked your file and we’re going to call your foster family on the way to the station,” Hank said.

So they know about her foster family, but they did not know she had run away yet. That was why she was in that alley, in that part of town, by herself.

Olivia thought about running but she could never get far with this many cops around. On their way to the district, she thought about jumping from the moving car but that was too stupid even for her. She laughed at the thought. Sitting in the car with Kim and Kevin again, she accepted her fate.

All her effort running away was for nothing. She was back to square one.

Slow, I know, but this is me trying guys. I love this OC so I hope I can keep writing her story even though I'm slow af. Thank you so much for the likes and reblogs on chapter one! ♡

[gii-1]

Just saw that ur in need of requests and I’m more than happy to oblige!! Love ur work btw! I love the idea of Megumi with a popular n sweet gf/crush who’s super pretty <33 I love the idea how everyone is just so flabbergasted that our emo nonchalant boy ended up pulling smn so feminine and gorg - the opposite of him and also how someone so popular like her could fall for him <33 hcs on the dynamic and how the pining leading up to them getting together would be so amazing to see ~~

- megumi x popular! reader

notes: i don’t think I’ve ever written anything and posted about it until now, i think some other fanfic writer has the same name as me then 😭. you might of gotten me confused with someone else, but i don’t know who. but anyways, here you go !! i think there might be i few mistakes so apologies for that.

• when this guy first sees you, i feel like he just wouldn’t like you, because he just sees you as another “loud, full of themselves, popular girl” that he should avoid.

• you both shared a class together, sitting next to each other and interactions between the two of you were kept to a minimal.

• its not that he hates you, he just sees you as one of the many popular kids in his class that he finds annoying.

• but when you guys get paired for a project together his world gets flipped around.

• he starts noticing how kind, considerate, and selfless you are. like wow, how the hell did he not realise this before??

• he looks at you so differently now, not only are you pretty and popular you are, but you’re also considerate and extremely good-hearted?

• he’s never seen an individual like this before

• the least you could say is he’s surprised.

• he starts gaining more and more of a crush on you the more you guys sit and work together, before he even realises it, you guys talk and interact a lot more in class now.

• you start to find out more about him and notices the qualities he has, before that it wasn’t you didn’t necessarily like him, you just barely knew him and didn’t think much about him.

• but after you guys got paired that changed, you started to admire him for how he’s very logical and able to quickly think of ideas or come up with strategies, or the way he’s very intelligent and is a lot more mature then the boys you normally hang out with, being able to relate to him with that.

• the more this builds up, the more you start thinking about him.

• you ask him for his contacts, and at first he’s reluctant as he doesn’t give out that information, but he does it anyways.

• you decide to organise a hang out with him, just the two of you. this isn’t because you wanted to have a date, you wanted to be away from your popular group of friends, and you were open to hanging out with his friends instead but he didn’t really have any.

• he wasn’t used to this but still goes with it, new to the idea of going out with friends, well, you guys are friends now right? this is what normal friends do.

• and it surprisingly, also surprising him yet again, was very enjoyable to him.

• you both went out to the mall and just going around to random places, which normally he wouldn’t enjoy, but with you he did. he not only realised you wonderful personality and looks, but you were incredibly witty. no wonder you were so popular.

• after a few more hang outs you guys started to have lunch together, enjoying each-others company. he was different from the popular kids you usually hanged out with, which made you like him alot, and you were one of the first people that weren’t family he enjoyed being with. it was a win-win situation.

• when other people noticed this, especially your friends, they definitely teased you about it, but never ever went to him or even mentioned it around him, as people found him scary and didn’t dare to approach him.

• but the comments towards you were relentless, but you didn’t care as you knew it wouldn’t put a dent to your reputation as you are just too likeable, which you were very thankful for as that means your relationship with him wouldn’t be ruined because of this.

• when he finally noticed he had a crush on you, he had inner conflict with himself, he was smart enough to realise what emotions he had was love, but didn’t know what to do with it. he just wanted it to go away.

• you probably noticed a lot quicker that you definitely had a crush on him, you realising this decided to give him hints to see how oblivious he was, being a bit more touchy with him, but not being flirty, you knew it would just make him uncomfortable.

• once you found out he couldn’t catch on your crush, you just straight up told him.

• when you both arranged another hang out, you decided that you would go somewhere peaceful, like a secluded place of nature to confess to him, as you felt it would be the best.

• unfortunately for dear megumi, he had came unprepared.

• “its okay if you don’t like me back, we can still be friends. i would rather you just know my feelings.” the next few seconds would be disaster for him.

• he denied the fact he didn’t like back so fast, his voice betrayed him before he even realised it. isn’t that just great.

• he’s stuttering and repeating his words all over the place trying to keep his cool facade while your patiently listening to him. his inner conflict was really showing.

•but you guys were able to talk about it and sort it out as you are a very emotionally intelligent and thoughtful person.

• when you both start your relationship its extremely, and i mean extremely, awkward at first.

•he was confused on what to do to say the least, but you taught him how it worked and went slow building up the relationship.

• your couple dynamic isn’t very touchy like other couples. you’re willing to accept him for who he is and when it comes to your relationship with him, you think about what makes him uncomfortable and make sure you don’t do anything to make him feel uncomfortable.

• instead you show your love through acts of services or making gifts for him, putting a lot of thought behind it. he would also be similar in this sense.

• i feel like you both would make sure to keep the relationship a secret and you both do it really well, as he is very uncomfortable with pda and being public with this part of his life, people not knowing about his relationship just makes him safer.

• only people he allows or is comfortable with are allowed to know as he is not a very public person.

[ahlaway]

Okay, but real talk, if Tubbo goes Federation informant for real / hard manipulation, the other islander's will be at fault.

Hear me out:

From the beginning there has been this like. Really unfair view on Tubbo. His chat is scolded for metagaming (as it should be) but he's also talked down to a lot for not just accepting things.

He won't just accept they're trapped because the older islanders say they've tried and failed. He won't just trust islanders who've been trustworthy in the past (ex Bad) who are no longer acting trustworthy. He's trying the same methods other people have tried because he wasn't there for it.

Any nerfs happen? That's Tubbos fault. Never mind that they were bound to nerf create the moment another big create member joined because how they were using it to break puzzles instead of doing the puzzles.

People are constantly picking and blaming him for things and then saying his suspicious because the federation doesn't do anything about him. Despite the fact that the federation does not give that boy a moment of peace, and have not since he arrived.

Meanwhile people like Bad and Pierre have only just begun to experience the horrors, despite how long they've been breaking the rules and causing trouble.

Then you look at interactions he's had and BOI. From his POV alone I wouldn't blame him if he didn't trust any of these people.

(mandatory this is only referring to RP characters.)

Tubbo is an adult. However, he is BARELY and adult, and that is something that is important to note, and I don't mine saying with his "i'm minor coded" joke. Like, as someone approaching 30 I can't imagine interacting with a 19 year old the same way I would someone near my age. So keep that in mind for my thinking going forward.

He's pulled from the ice and a few days later he's approached by a crazy bear with a gun and the power of create that tells him he HAS to do a task. One that will betray someone he's made friends with and an egg. He tries to refuse and the bear starts shooting.

So he does it, thinking he has no choice.

Then two men, who are like, MVP, highly respected, defenders of the island, tell him he should have just died. In fact, he was selfish for not dying on that hill, and that the father of that egg is going to be FURIOUS with him.

To the point that Tubbo is freaking out when Fit catches him trying to fix what he had to break for his task, and make things right.

Is it any wonder he thought he was capital D dead when he "lost" one of these men's eggs?

Now jump cut.

Boy is pressured by men into spinning a wheel that, lets be honest, probably only had bad outcomes, and then is told it's his fault. HE killed the eggs.

Which leads to local teen burning in lava in a breakdown.

And don't even get me started on the drama that was two men who live in a different zip code losing their minds because local teen does yard renovations.

One of which being someone said teen is convinced kidnapped someone, and has tried to gaslight him about it.

Like, outside of the morning crew, Fred is kind of the best relationship Tubbo's got going for him at the moment.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hi Raven! I just had a quick question because I was hoping to clear up some confusion for me.

In book 5, when getting ready to audition for the VDC and the actual audition, I interpreted it as us just helping and being moral support for ADeuce. However, with some of the things I’ve seen, we, the MC, might’ve auditioned? Bc I really hope not lol I have no musical talent and would be so embarrassed I know I’m a bad singer I don’t need Vil the Queen telling me

Thanks! Have a good night/day :>

Good question! I went back into the game to check and… well, it’s more complicated than you might think! Let’s go through it all.

So beginning in 5-4, you first learn about the VDC/SDC. Grim expresses his excitement: “I want in on this competition!” In Japanese, you’ll notice that Grim uses “ore-sama” which is an uppity way to refer to oneself in the singular. Here, Grim is talking about his own intent to join the competition both in English and In Japanese.

Now let’s jump ahead to 5-9. This is the part where Adeuce and Grim are practicing their dance moves on the basketball court. After witnessing how bad they are, the player is granted two dialogue options, one of which makes use of the word “we”. This could imply that Yuu is practicing dancing with Adeuce and Grim. Important to note, however, is that the Japanese version includes no such subjects and could be interpreted as not including Yuu because of this.

Also!! Jamil comments on the dancing abilities of the other boys in both EN and JP, but not on Yuu at all.

In 5-11, Jamil asks if “you” have applied for the audition yet. In JP, Jamil uses the phrase “kimi-tachi”, which is closer to “you all” (ie more than one person). He does not make specific reference to Yuu, nor does he single them out with the “you”.

Then in 5-12, Adeuce, Grim, and Yuu approach Rook to sign up for VDC/SDC auditions. Rook announces their personal details and then tells them "Since you have informed me of your intent, you do not need to fill out any paperwork". In Japanese, the subject "you" is not present, but the implication is that he's referring to at least Ace, Deuce, and Grim as a group. There's not much here to implicate that Yuu is also signing up.

When the actual audition happens in 5-16, Rook announces that Ace, Deuce, Grim and Yuu "may enter". This could imply that Yuu is there for moral support or that they, too, are auditioning.

In 5-18, a little while after the auditions, Yuu has a dialogue choice: “Did we flunk?” The use of “we” here could imply Yuu auditioned, or it could refer to their group of friends + their efforts to cheer them on. It should be noted that JP lacks pronouns in these same options, so it’s unclear whether or not Yuu is referring to themselves and/or the group.

5-20 perhaps gives us the most definitive answer. Grim gets annoyed that he was summoned despite not being accepted into the NRC Tribe. More specifically, he points out that he and Yuu were left out of the conversation. Grim then says “Why’d you call us over when we already flunked out?” Given that every other student present has been accepted, the use of “we” here HAS to refer to Grim and Yuu. In JP, Grim uses the term “ore-sama tachi”, which makes a plural or group of people. So here, both EN and JP are very clear and agree with each other; they seem to suggest Yuu auditioned and failed.

It's very easy to miss this if you aren't paying close attention! (I overlooked it myself, www) I wonder if the writing was intentionally vague or dragged its feet up to part 20 because a lot of details surrounding Yuu are left vague to allow for as much or as little player projection as they like. That way, people who have no interest in it can imagine just sitting out while the people who are interested can imagine performing their heart out. I know that there's some fan art of individual people's Yuusonas auditioning, but the majority of the fandom seems to be satisfied with Yuu fulfilling more of a support/cheerleader or managerial role for book 5.

Interestingly, Yuu failing the auditions here can support a line that Azul says in book 3 when they're negotiating the terms for a deal (in 3-10). He states that Yuu is "not gifted with a beautiful voice [...]" but doesn't remark on their dancing abilities. So... Yuu might have been mediocre at the singing part of the audition?

Ace, Deuce, and even Grim seem to have improved a bit thanks to Jamil's coaching earlier in book 5, but since Jamil did not comment on Yuu... er, maybe Yuu didn't see a little improvement and so didn't get accepted into the tribe? Not sure why Grim wasn't either, especially since Vil was convinced by Rook to go for "unpolished" gems to make himself shine even brighter; maybe cuz he's a lil' cat and would steal all the attention/j)

[grison-in-space]

I know we're past this point, but I'm beyond exhausted with ARA mentality making its way into the public consciousness. Flaco being championed as a symbol of freedom, Dodo promoting anthropomorphism, celebrities backing PETA, fucking TIKTOK. I work with sled dogs and I don't know how many people per week accuse us of abuse because dogs should be free and not "chained up" and why do we "make" the dogs work. No matter what you say, they just twist your words and take your frustration as admission. Sorry for the rant, but it's getting beyond annoying! How do we combat the misinformation when they take your information and say that you can't read an animals mind, even when the animal's behavior suggest its content?

Yeah, I know what you're talking about. I'm right there with you! It frustrates me, too, especially because animal communication and signaling was a huge part of my doctoral work, so I have spent a lot of time thinking about how animals can encode and unpack information from signals and cues* to communicate and share information with one another.

What I will usually do if I run into someone like this is treat the comment that "you can't read an animal's mind" as pertaining to both of us. I sure can't read an animal's mind, and neither can you, friend! So how can animals communicate with us about what they want? How can we use evidence from the animal'l own behavior to indicate its preferences?

Well, when we give animals choices, what do they do? Matilda doesn't love harnesses for their own sake, but she knows that she doesn't come with me for the day if the harness isn't out. When she sees the harness, she approaches me and stares intently; if I don't pick it up and put it on her, she will sometimes move in front of my and block my path to the outside. Or take my mice. When we open the top of the cage for a behavior session for the mice in my lab (a noninvasive "game" that asks them to choose between one side or another in exchange for little squirts of watered down Ensure), it's common to see mice pop out of the cage and start racing around the rim, trying to climb onto a hand. Animals learn cues from us about what is going to happen next, and they behave accordingly. If they aren't enjoying a task, you can usually tell!

Okay, that's for small, easily understood time units. What about the big questions? Would a dog rather run free than run in harness with a human handler? Well, it's certainly hard to get an informed consent from an animal, because again, no language to communicate risks TO THEM. But you can also go, okay, what does freedom actually look like for free roaming wild animals? There's... an awful lot of bad deaths out there, it turns out.

Like, a lot.

Hey. You're a human who presumably prefers to live in society. If I told you that I had the offer of a lifetime for you, where you'd be released from all debts and obligations to human society and in exchange you could go live on a naked island by yourself in a hut with a bucket to drop waste in and no running water, and just enough food to keep you alive until you learned how to successfully forage for yourself, would you do it? Or would you keep your debts and your job in exchange for being able to rely on a society to prevent your neighbors from deciding to murder you for rations, construct safe and hygienic ways to handle drinking water and waste, and devise predictable and palatable things to eat? Would you like to be released into the world without a social group or any connections, or would you rather stay in a society even though you're not able to make any possible decision that might flicker into your head?

If they tell me "yeah I'd love that actually," ask why they're not doing it right now. Like, I'm assuming you work tourism in some capacity, Nonny; why are they shelling money out for this dogsled ride if their dream is to be free of Society? Living in a big collective group always entails some loss of freedoms (e.g. I cannot play big brass music at full volume at 10pm unless I want my housemates to riot), but the potential gains (increased comfort, lowered costs, rewarding long term relationships) outweighs those costs.

Which is why when my dogs do get out, they usually stay in earshot and return when they're bored with brief exploration or they hear our alarmed contact calls. If the great outdoors was that much better, do you really think so many domestic animals would come right back?

*Technically speaking, you can extract information from both signals and cues, but a signal is intended to transmit information to a receiver and a cue is a physiological byproduct of an individual's state. Think of it as the difference between a human making eye contact with you and then glaring versus seeing a human having a whole-ass meltdown directed at no one in particular on a park bench. This is a meaningful difference for animals, too: I did quite a bit of work on eavesdropping in the animal world, where messages intended for one kind of receiver can be detected, accessed, and unpacked by another, much less desirable party — like a competitor or a predator.

[mapofthemazeinthemirror]

I have been meaning to yap to you about this because I am a certified mafia jjun enjoyer but….listen!

two things: one (1) reader is hired by said mafia group to protect the leader (yeonjun) gosh I imagine like enemies to lovers? she hates yeonjun at first, and thinks he’s so so mean. At first he thinks “how is she going to protect me?” but she’s protecting him more than physically. he eventually eases up on her and ends up being mean to everyone but her. gahhh something about meanie jjunie that has a soft spot gets me.

two (2) this might be quick but reader and mafia boss tyun being from rival families, but they cross paths and end up falling for each other. aaaah forbidden romance <3

ASH I LOVE YOUR MIND. Thank you for feeding me with this. I’ve been craving gang txt ever since the new gbgb choreo, the part where it looks like they’re fighting 🫢 Number two (2) with Taehyun is so yummy, just imagine the banter they'd have with each other!

words: 1.8k oops

warnings: a bit of workplace discrimination, mentions of attacks, criminal activity, blood briefly, treating wounds, probably too soft at the end

If there’s one thing you’re going to do, it’s do your job damn well regardless of your personal feelings towards the man you’ve been hired to protect – and especially if said man seems to think you’re not fit for the job. It appeared Yeonjun was not pleased when you first showed up to work, pulling a member of his team aside and having what looked like a tense conversation. It only made you more intent on proving your position. You often butted heads, unable to agree on the right approach to many things. Yeonjun prioritized quick gains, confrontations and aggressive plays, recurrently willing to forgo his security or the safety of the more expendable members of his organisation to get what he was after. On the other hand, you wanted him to undertake less risky tactics, ones that were better for his reputation, his long-term safety. There were a couple of instances where he tried to plan some dealings without you, locking you out of his office and leaving you to stand outside fuming and trying to hear what little of the discussion you could through the crack in the door. The men took you even less seriously after that stunt – if the boss didn’t respect you, why should they?

Using your intel, you cleverly plan out routes for the driver to take that steer clear of trouble. At first Yeonjun is annoyed and questions the detour, but later that night, he learns through his informant that police were doing a random car check on the usual route, due to the crimes of a gang in the area. When he thanks you the following morning, you think you've earned the respect you've been craving. However, the good feeling doesn't last. As the day goes on, not only does Yeonjun give you his drink order, as if you're a simple assistant or coffee runner, he also laughs at a joke one of his men makes about you, right in front of you.

And maybe from time to time you fantasize about the young, stupidly good looking, ridiculously well dressed mafia boss getting what he deserved; about letting his laundering fall through, letting his shipment go to the wrong country, or turning a blind eye to the betrayal of one of his most valuable men that you have discovered. But you're a professional, and professionals don't let their sour thoughts derail their career.

It's only when the truth about the disloyalty of Yeonjun's right hand man is laid out for him that things begin to change. You had supplied all the proof, having hired a private investigator of sorts to get the incriminating photos you needed, accumulating dirt on the man who was Yeonjun's favourite, his oldest friend in the business, until there was no room for doubt in his mind.

What you hadn't expected was for the boss to show up at your place a few days after your exposé, looking more exhausted than you'd ever seen him. The betrayal had hit him hard. He seemed despondent as he glanced around at the place you lived, showing no reflection of his opinion. You weren't even sure how much he was taking in with those tired dark eyes. His hair was not to his usual standard, and his coat which was usually tied fashionably at his waist hung open and loose on his thin frame. You felt more awkward standing before him in this state than you ever had when he'd been laughing at your expense. You offered him a seat but he turned it down. All you could do was stare and wait for him to speak.

“I'm very grateful,” he began. His voice was hoarse, bringing a deepness to it you'd never known. Finally he looked you straight in the eye for the first time since he'd arrived. “I never would have seen it for myself. I was blinded by my… If you hadn't disclosed this to me…” It was the first time you'd seen him struggle to articulate himself. You nodded in understanding, and he seemed relieved.

After that, you were given a raise – a silent one, since he applied it without saying anything to you about it – and an office of your own. Not only did the jokes and snide comments from the other men stop, but they seemed to eye you with caution, some with reverence. You had become the one Yeonjun trusted most, the one he came to with his concerns, and nobody would ever question your value again. Not unless they wanted to face the boss's fury.

Things have been good for a while: you love your job – and maybe, as much as you hate to admit it, your boss, just a little bit? – when something unforeseeable happens. You're busy handling communications when you spot Yeonjun's ride pull up in the underground lot on the security monitor. Watching as the two front doors of the vehicle swing open and both the driver and the ridealong dash to open the back doors, your anxiety is thrown into gear. Then Yeonjun stumbles out from the back seat. You're on your feet before you see them check him over, out the door before he can wave them off.

By the time he's in the building, there are more men around him, asking questions and putting their hands on his shoulders in concern. He shakes them all off in annoyance, ordering them to get back to work. As the men fall away he spots you standing by, and he softens. When he approaches, you see the sharp red lines that are scratched into the side of his face, notice the bloody cuts on his hand as it sweeps his black hair up over his forehead.

“What happened?” you ask when he reaches you, even though you have a pretty good idea in your mind. You need to know anyway, as you keep a record of all offenses committed against him.

“It was an ambush,” he says simply. He watches your hands take his bigger ones from his sides and turn them over, inspecting. His hands suddenly feel cold in contrast to your warm skin as you make contact.

“Are you okay?” You glance briefly up to his eyes, indicating that your question does not refer to his obvious abrasions.

“That bullet proof glass might need a touch up,” he states rather matter-of-factly in reply, looking away from you. He sounds so nonchalant, as if it's not a big deal. Your heartbeat has picked up significantly, an unexpected reaction to hearing about danger that has already passed, and you realise that a threat to Yeonjun's safety means more to you than it should; more than a professional responsibility for his security.

You usher him into his office and locate the medical kit. This is the first time you'll be putting your first aid training to good use, you muse silently as you pull the lamp down close to Yeonjun's face. It's an intimate position you've found yourself in; Yeonjun seated on the large plush sofa while you hover above him, one knee on the seat of the sofa to steady yourself. You don't even register that your knee is between his spread legs, so focused on treating his injuries. You've never touched him before, and yet it feels like one of the most natural things you've ever done as you work instinctively, the fingers of your non-dominant hand along his cheek without your noticing. His warm eyes, which had seemed distant just a moment ago, check your face occasionally, until he abandons subtlety and they unabashedly train on you as you treat him, lit by the glow of the lamp. You try not to notice it, though you definitely do.

“I usually do this myself,” he says quietly as you reach for a new cloth and the bottle of disinfectant once more. The tug of a lazy smile appears on his mouth. “This is much better.”

Your eyes meet his, and all at once you feel much too warm. Now that you're not concentrating, you notice the placement of your knee, and your whole body seems to come alive. Retracting it as casually as possible, you hold your hand out to him, hoping your flushed state will go unnoticed. The feeling of his palm against yours sends sparks through you, making you feel like a stupid high schooler. He's still smiling, which makes it even harder to ignore. You suppose he's used to his life being threatened, used to targeted attacks, and that's how he's so calm after the ambush. Unless the starry look in his eyes speaks of an oncoming concussion.

He doesn't flinch once as you disinfect his scrapes and cuts. You're glad there's no glass to be picked out of the wounds. He watches everything you do quietly, and you find yourself having to remind yourself to breathe occasionally. It's new to be this close to him, and you don't hate it – not in the slightest. Most of his wounds are superficial, thanks to the bullet proof glass, and once you've applied coverings to the cuts on his hands, you're all finished. When you go to move the lamp away, you notice that his face has changed. He looks drained now, all his earlier charm and blasé attitude abandoned, maybe a little paler than usual even under the warm light, and you wonder if he's starting to feel the effects of the ordeal.

“I'll get you some water,” you tell him. Before you can move away, you feel his fingers softly grasp your hand. Your eyes come back to his face in surprise.

“Wait,” he says, a little weakly. His eyes are looking away from you, his brow quirked as though he's trying to figure something out. “I'm fine. Can you- can you just…”

There's only been one other time he's not been sure of his words before, and he'd been through something rough then, too. Something inside you begins to warm up and slowly melt as you realise that Yeonjun is not as unbothered on the inside as he plays on the outside. He may be tough, but he's not invincible. He may have had this kind of attack on his life before, he might even be used to it or expect it, but his body still undergoes the shock, even if it’s a delayed reaction.

His eyebrows are still slightly furrowed as he looks up at you. Without words and with the gentlest, smallest tug at your hand which you may not have noticed in another circumstance, which could probably have been played off as nothing if it had been rejected, he asks you to stay. You can't hide the smile that twitches at your lips. With something that feels like courage coursing through you, you step towards him. Turning slightly, you set yourself down on his lap and feel him relax. His arm winds around you to keep you snug to him and you lean your head onto his shoulder, getting a breath of expensive cologne. He sighs deeply before breathing evenly, dropping into a deep rest.

You're content like this, though you never imagined being this close to him, glad that he's resting when he clearly needs it, and proud that you could help. If this is how you can protect him physically, even if it's only in this small way, you'll take it. Though, in your head you've already begun thinking through methods of retaliation to whichever rival faction made this attempt on his life.

[nonbinaryeye]

They Lived

Written for @gortash-week

Day 6 - AU

The prism-bearers killed Kethric and are about to enter the Bauldur’s Gate. The Dark Urge and lord Enver Gortash have a bit different ideas about how they should deal with them.

Read on AO3

...

The Dark Urge does not have to bother to sneak or disguise themselves around the Wyrm’s Crossing. On some other day they might – just for the fun of it, just to test their skills against all the Flaming Fists and Banite guards and elaborate traps, just to prove that none of those things could really stop them. But not today, as today they have business to talk to the soon-to-be Archduke of this city and they wish to get to it as soon as possible.

They burst through doors to Gortash’s private chambers and no one tries to stop them. Because they are known well enough here and everyone can probably see that they are in a bad enough mood that telling them that ‘Lord Gortash is too busy’ or that ‘High Imperceptor of Bane is not accepting any visitors right now’ would lead to nothing but a pointless bloodshed.

As they enter lord Enver Gortash – their years-long ally, accomplice, confidant and, they would even dare to say, friend – appears to be posing his new painting. The pleased smile that appears on his face as soon as he spots them quickly turns to frown when they cut his latest vain immortalization on canvas shortly. Before the painter, focused on his work, even spots them, they are already slicing his throat. His latest and also last and forever unfinished painting is improved by splashes of blood.

“You could have at least waited for the painting to be done, if you were eager for a kill,” Gortash lets out a displeased scoff as he looks at the corpse. The Dark Urge could not care any less. They are in a sour mood; their dear tyrant should be rather grateful they have restrained their bloodlust till now and have not left the path of corpses all the way through his newest lair.

“Your corpse will have no use for your portraits. Start designing your tombstone, that might be much more use to you rather soon,” they growl as they approach him.

“Careful, it almost sounds like you are threatening me, dearest assassin of mine,” a smile returns on Gortash’s face and for once they find it more annoying than charming. He spins his cane in his hands in nonchalant gesture and steps closer to them, arms open, welcoming. His posture is relaxed, unguarded, as if he has no reason to fear the murder incarnate in front of him. He deserves to be gutted just for his carelessness and all its implications alone.

“Kethric Thorm is dead. Kethric Thorm is dead and you send me this.” The Dark Urge throws to his feet the invitation. His fancy paper, in his fancy envelope, with his fancy seal and fancy signature. Oh, they are well aware how much Enver loves his etiquette and politeness and manners. And usually, under normal circumstances, they tend to be willing to indulge him, play their part in the tyrant’s charade. ‘Usually’ and ‘under normal circumstances’ are the keywords here.

“Where exactly is the problem, my dread heart? Countless invitations to my inauguration to the office of Archduke were sent to all the important people in Baldur's Gate and beyond. How could I have not invited the most important person beside me? Or are you offended I have not handed it to you personally? My deepest apologies, but you are quite hard to reach and unfortunately, we’ve not had much time for each other lately. I was always giving you all important information and I was always clear with you about all my plans-“

“You know that the useless piece of paper is not what I am talking about here, Enver,” they growl, their patience worn thin.

“Do I?” Gortash decides to insult both of their intelligence by choosing to play ignorant a bit longer. Their hand itches. They really wish to stab him right now and not in the tender loving way, but in the brutal and relentless one that would paint his newest rooms in red. They have to be content with piercing their dagger through his already destroyed portrait a few times. He is watching them curiously, patiently waiting for them to get to the point that should not be necessary to be made

“Group of adventurers with that damned prism you could have not shut up about the past few tenthdays killed Ketheric and stole his Netherstone. The Netherstone we need to control the Brain because: what exactly do you think will happen when an army of Absolute’s soldiers with no general arrives in the city?” they are supposed to be the one thrilled at the prospect of slaughter and countless deaths, they are not used to trying to be the voice of reason.

“No need to worry, the prism-bearers will bring the Netherstone directly to me. If my sources are correct, they arrived in Rivington just yesterday’s evening.” Did they now? That much to him ‘always giving them all the important information’. They do not bother to bring it up as he would only answer ‘I am telling you now, am I not?’ They wonder what other things might have their ally forgotten to tell them.

What Gortash really should have sent them instead of this stupid invitation is a letter with their location. The Dark Urge could have gathered their faithful followers, storm their camp at night, and they would have had all the Netherstones again already. If soon-to-Archduke found a moment in his busy schedule of portrait’s getting painted and patriars being flattered, they could have even attacked them with joined forces of Bhaalist and Banites. The Dark Urge would love to fight side by side with their tyrant again. Blood of their enemies always looks so lovely on him. They enjoy witnessing how ruthless he can be when he is not only giving commands but fighting himself, his cunning mind put to action…

No matter. No need to dwell on ‘should have beens’.

“And what about it? Do you think they will simply hand it to you? They should not, they cannot, be underestimated. We need to consider them to be a serious threat.”

“Yes, yes I do consider them that, for a fact,” he puts on a smile, fake one as most of his smiles are these days, “In no doubt, they’ll be travelling to the city. Let’s make sure we give them a Baldurian welcome. I will offer them an alliance. Proposal they cannot refuse. Anything and everything they could wish for… you know how it goes.”

They are tempted to suggest that he sounds like a devil. Gortash would not be amused by such a comparison. That might be only one more reason to make it. Alas that would get their discussion nowhere and so they bite their tongue.

“Why do you assume they will be interested?” they ask him instead.

“Everyone wants something,” he waves his hand dismissively, “Everyone can be bought for the right price.”

That is clearly not true. The Dark Urge should know as their loyalties lay strictly to Bhaal and they cannot be bought by any amount of sweet words and promises. Even though most people seem to be easily corrupted by material things or gold or power or other silly things such as these, they themselves cannot, therefore one must assume some other living beings might be hard to persuade as well. But their tyrant still sees everything just as a transaction to be made and it makes them wonder how well he really understands them.

“You are a fool with too much confidence for someone whose plans have been failing so much recently,” the Dark Urge scoffs, knowing very well how to hit the sore spot. Gortash’s eyes twitch over the accusations, though he refuses to let go of his smile.

“Small hiccups, easy to overlook in the greater scheme of things,” Gortash stands his ground and even though they are standing so close to each other, one reach of arm away, he has never felt so far away from them. They have felt this unease for a while. The itch that something is wrong, that things are not going the way they were supposed to. And it has nothing to do with the fact that their plans are being shaken as much as the entirety of the Gate under the Netherbrain interference. Their alliance has been bleeding dying creature for a while and Kethric’s death feels like the last hit needed to put it out of its misery. They both know it. They both must see it to be a corpse slowly starting to rot and not even the tyrant’s demands can will it back to life.

There used to be perfect balance between them and Myrkul’s Chosen being added to the mix never weakened it. If anything, on the contrary, it used to be an unspoken agreement that when the time for betrayal will come, he will be the first one to be cast aside. But who would have guessed the immortal general can be killed this easily?

“As always we will overcome the struggle and come out stronger from it. Don’t you think?” Gortash crosses the distance between them and places his hand on the side of their face. They cannot help themselves but lean into his touch. Because that is the worst thing. They still crave to be placated. The sin they are hiding in the deepest corner of their rotten heart. They wish to be pulled into the tyrant’s embrace, have him whisper all the sweet lies about his love and adoration, about the world they can rule together, about the unbreakable bond they share.

“I don’t believe you wish to know what is going through my mind right now, dear tyrant,” they sigh and Gortash finally drops the smile of his. He grabs them by their chin and pulls them to a kiss. The movement is too familiar, they do not even think about it and lean in. They press their lips together and just for a second, they can pretend they are back in much simpler times when the schemes and plans they were creating together were manageable.

“Just tell me, I can still trust you. Tell me, I can count on you,” he holds them tenderly and every droplet of their godly blood boils inside them. How dare he be the one demanding assurance; how dare he be the one demanding from them to swear him their loyalty.

Though it might be their own fault, the Dark Urger thinks bitterly. They were indulging him too much. You offer the tyrant a hand and he will put it in cuffs.  Does Gortash really think he can make them do what he wants just because of some poisonous affection they happen to feel for him?

“You can count on me getting the Netherstone you will fail to obtain through your methods, that much I can promise you, Enver. Upon your brilliant mind will then fall the task of figuring out how to split three Netherstones between two Chosens.”

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, my love, that will be a problem to solve after we reunite them,” he laughs and his words only confirms their worry. Gortash is always miles upfront in his plans in all possible directions. He knows very well what he will do in either of the only two possible outcomes. It is a deliberate choice that he decided not to share it with the Dark Urge. And they might be a bit paranoid, yes, but it is hard not to be cautious when dealing with a man like him.

“As you say,” they decide to not point out the smell of rot in his words, they pretend not to see the dagger he is hiding behind his back, they pretend not to taste the poison in his kisses. And it seems to be good enough for him as he releases them from his hold, a smile, which is still not quite reaching his eyes, on his face again.

“I still hope you will come to my inauguration,” he drops the topic as if nothing happened, as if he has just not dropped the first gravel of soil on the coffin where the remains of their alliance lay in its grave.

“Goodbye, Enver,” they say and wonder if their tyrant can also feel the finality of their words and the bitter end of whatever it is they had or if he is still lying to himself with the same intensity he keeps lying to them. There used to be a time when they could have put any thoughts and concerns into words and asked him. Such a time is no more. All the ‘we’ and ‘us’ turned into ‘you and I’.

[songoftrillium]

so I've been considering running a W5 game for some friends of mine who have been having a blast with our V5 campaign. We'd have to use a *severely long* list of houserules and lore to make it anything other than a massive trash fire of...well, everything that W5 is now. Unfortunately it's likely to be W5 instead of W20 due to the players bouncing off the x20 rules HARD. Any suggestions as to what gaping holes I should focus on first, rules-and-lore-wise?

I apologize for this essay of a response. In terms of the major mechanics holes to focus on, a friend of mine, Kaidan, was a game playtester that ran a number of games at Gencon, and has done the emotional labor of reading through the entire W5 corebook and identifying ways to make the game playable. For house rules, I'd start there.

The rest of this post is LONG, so buckle up and get a drink before reading on under the cut.

Regarding Gaia's Howl, which isn't addressed in the book, I'd look to the Mind's Eye Theater: Werewolf: the Apocalypse, the last corebook in OWoD that furthers the world metaplot. I believe the mark that was missed in a big way in w5 was that the Age of Apocalypse in that book more or less encompasses exactly what they were trying to achieve in terms of the worldwide destruction of caerns, the death of many old canon NPCs, and the Last Words of Gaia, which was a prophecy laid out by King Albrecht in his final moments of life while destroying the Storm Eater:

“Hope is not sundered; wake me, and a new age of harmony shall begin.”

Nuff said there. You shouldn't really need this corebook to play, but if you can find any information on the Age of Apocalypse online, I recommend using that as your kickoff point to explain how we got here.

Now, on to lore.

As the Storyteller, there are few ways around it; you'll have to read some old materials to construct your own chronicle. A little-known piece of information is that no one edition of Legacy Werewolf was ever meant to supersede the other. All the editions contain uniquely valuable information and were meant to build upon each other, requiring a holistic approach to the old materials: take what matters and use it.

I don't blame your players for balking at the old materials. The first editor that volunteered to help with my big project had never picked up a WoD book in xis life, and when he signed up I asked xim to read enough of the W20 corebook to grasp how to make a character. After struggling with the material for a week, they returned and said, "I'll be honest. That's almost a hundred pages. I'm not reading all that." And I don't blame them. And I don't know if you noticed, but W20 also includes no tools for Storytellers to construct game chronicles. Indeed, no 20th-anniversary edition book across all the splats really does. Since the writing team at PDX didn't use any book other than x20 to construct W5, that only further deepened the reality that Storytellers have been completely forgotten. All Meat, no Potatoes. For all the good content W20 includes, a broad number of items would be decidedly unfair to force players to wade through if you wanted to, and there's also so much of it. If you have yet to notice, the old books have laughably useless indexes, so researching and knowing which books to research to create a good game is incredibly complicated. So, you're right that your players shouldn't have to read any of the old stuff, and you shouldn't necessarily have to run a legacy game to provide a game of meaning.

Now, on to the stuff, you, the Storyteller, need to put together a bombastic chronicle. I have a bibliography of books across multiple editions that really get to the heart of the deepest lore and covers the full width and breadth of what the game has to offer. You don't need to read all these books, but having them gives you all the reference material to have a top-down overview of lore you can pull into your game world that you see fit.

Werewolf: the Apocalypse Storytellers Handbook (1994)This edition was published during a time when White Wolf was still establishing what the World of Darkness represented. It was drafted during 1st edition and came out shortly after the 2nd edition core rulebook came out, making it a hybrid that shares stats between both editions, including renown conversion guidelines between 1st and 2nd editions. You’ll find three essays and a section from it reprinted in this very book, but even those are just a fraction of the value this book offers Storytellers. Beyond what I carry over here, this book includes expanded Garou culture, setting, and enemies, dedicated sections on kinfolk and kami,  and a dedicated chapter on making talismans (fetishes). It even includes a dedicated section for 1st edition to 2nd edition renown conversion and a chapter dedicated to building a custom chronicle suited to your tabletop! Definite must-have and must-read.

Werewolf: The Apocalypse Storytellers Vault Style Guide (2018)Beyond a collection of well-written tales, this book includes a chapter devoted entirely to metaplot. In that way, this section serves as a roadmap towards getting a good feel on which books across which edition may best serve you. It breaks down three different approaches to Metaplot (Passive, Reactive, and Proactive), the pathos driving each edition, and following those threads, one can more easily find which books and editions are best suited to each purpose and tailor their own Storytelling library to best suit their style accordingly.

A World of Rage (2000)

This book is indispensable for learning about the world at large where the game is set. It covers every region published and really cuts out the fat in terms of delivering setting information and systems just about anywhere you’d like to set your game.

Players Guide to Garou (2003)This one’s a home run for any table. Expanded tribe societies and unique gifts? Check. Merits and flaws and expanded fetishes? Check. MOOT MECHANICS? That’s right, check. Moots are the lifeblood of Garou society, and there are structures for this! If you ever wondered what the typical phases of a moot look like, what roles different auspices play, and what your pack of players may be doing during any given time, it’s all laid out here in plain words. Even the Ragabash has (arguably the best) role to play during these events.

Guardians of the Caerns (2000)Ever wondered what exactly werewolves do all day? Wonder no longer. Guardians of the Caerns is the sourcebook of septs and caerns, detailing the sacred places and the Garou communities that guard them. It contains information on sept offices, tribal septs, caern logistics, defensive tactics--even an in-depth look at those who must grow up strictly as Garou, the crinos-born. This is the book for anyone who wants to understand what they're fighting for. 

Book of the Wyrm (1st Edition, 1993)While acknowledging the latest edition of this book, this gives a lot more specific insight into the ins-and-outs of the Urge Wyrms and Maejlin Incarna, who have taken a faceless investment in this chronicle. Understanding the ubiquity of their influence helps to understand not just these entities themselves but also their hierarchies, as they are mirrored across each of the many heads of the Wyrm.

Book of the Wyld (2001)It includes information on the naming of spirits, stats on the Nameless, information on caern abscession, and the not-so-subtle recommendation to write a chronicle surrounding the final days of an ancient caern. It offers insights into this not-understood aspect of the Triat, including many that aren’t in print in the 20th Anniversary Edition. Some enemies come from the woods, after all.

Rage Across the Heavens (1999)

Meet the Gaian Pantheon, all the celestial incarnae to be found across the Tellurian may be found across this book, including unique powers associated with them. This also includes a chronicle encompassing the emergence of the red star Anthelios, believed to be a portent of the end times.

Hearthbound (2023)

That's right, ya girl wrote a cross-edition book this year, and I highly recommend it! This is a good answer for players looking for a drop-in solution to confront the systemic issues in the lore directly in-game. The problematic features of the Garou nation were always meant to be confronted by the tabletop, and this sourcebook offers a turnkey approach to doing just that. It details many of those issues up-front and lays bare many of the not-so-pleasant aspects of the Garou Nation in plain English, including several story seeds on how to work this new tribe into any chronicle.

Lastly, on language and tabletop terminology. It's best to treat U****a and W*****o as tribes separate from the Galestalkers and Ghost Council. They are different enough that you can't easily move the names over and call them such. That said, they are named after things considered extremely inappropriate to use in a tabletop setting, so I recommend presenting them using two Conlang terms I constructed for my games. For U****a I recommend Hapil, and to rename their patron to The River Serpent. For W*****o, I recommend Kalaril, and to rename their patron to Old Windtooth.

Lastly, if you'd like to know how to scare the piss out of your players' characters, I wrote an essay on how to do just that. Good luck!