#also im procrastinating doing research for school

[screampied]

miss vegas. how do u survive in college. please give me some tips. i am barely hanging on by a thread and it's only my first year. how do u do it. also ilysm.

hi nonnie 🌞. omg ofc! i used to live on campus, i don’t anymore which is way easier for me— also, don’t stress. first year can always be a lot and extremely overwhelming but i got uuuuu !!!!!! love u too

it's a lot of things i wish i knew as my first year LOL. i guess one thing that is probably super basic, don’t procrastinate. just get your stuff done so you don’t have to worry about it later ☝️ it’s easier said than done, but trust you’ll feel a lot better once you finish your assignments / projects early n on time !!! also, staying up late while working on stuff — don’t do that. it’s not good for you, and i always did that eheh. waiting ‘till the last minute of 11:59 to finish essays nuh uh. do your stuff as soon as it get assigned, DONT PROCRASTINATE 🫵 also, go to all your orientations. do nawt skip them

sleeeeeep. you need lots of sleep, regardless of what year you’re in it’s very important. i wish i knew that as a freshman 😀😀😀. i would stay up all night doin work, especially on the weekends. certified loser nerd. also, set an alarm !!!! if you’re a heavy sleeper like me, set a fuck ton of them !!!! or uh… have someone wake you up. i used to oversleep a lot, a way to prevent this is to usually go to sleep earlier than you usually do ( from my experience )

if you’re on campus, have some sort of map / guide so you know where you’re going !!!!! on my first day i literally got lost right away and i barely knew much english so it was even more embarrassing LOL. beeeee prepared !!!! ☝️ do research on ur school, they should provide those things — also, try to get those things ahead of time before your courses start so you aren’t askin random ppl where one of your rooms are. of course, its okay to still get lost anyway. it happens. ask for help if needed but make sure you’re prepared !!!

you don’t necessarily need friends to “survive” in college. everyone’s experience is different, but i found my experience easier by just keepin my circle small 🫂. IM NOT SAYING TO BE A LONER, you can have / make friends throughout your years ofc !!! in college, you’ll meet the best and worst people of your life. your main priorities should be yourself and your studies — but you come first at the end of the day. friends will always come & go, but eventually you’ll stumble across some nice ppl who share the same interests as you !!!

there’s prob super more important details but for the last thing i’ll say this— don’t let your grades define you 💓. it sucks majorly to get bad marks on something, especially if you stayed up countless hours on it, givin it your all. i personally have / had a habit of doing that, but never let it define you. if you truly think you didn’t get the right grade for any number of reasons, you can always talk to your prof about it in private. but don’t stress ab it !!! always remember you matter first over some exam 🫵

[radioroxx]

in. clover lives aus or aus where they choose to live in the underground whatnot. i think more ppl should play with the idea that their friends know Jackshit About Humans. please and thanks

[mxltifxnd0m]

heaven knows ❥ i. lahey

summary: social media/ college au with the pack [can be read as a non supernatural au, but its implied]

pairings: established isaac lahey x reader, isaac lahey x fem! reader

warnings: none really, no use of 'y/n', fluff, slice of life, some cursing

a/n: made this instead of my homework bc i wanted to make a smau for isaac :) also emmyparker is an oc based on my friend loll

reblog and comment! i love to see your thoughts on my fics (even if this isn’t technically a fic lol)

𝘪𝘴𝘢𝘢𝘤 𝘭𝘢𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘮𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵

yourusername

liked by mccallmescott, emmyparker, and 2023 others

yourusername a lil photo dump of college so far ;P (not included: mental breakdowns)

tagged: kirakitsune, lyds.martin, silverallison, isaaclahey14 + 3 more

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lyds.martin you wouldn't have the breakdowns if you didn't procrastinate ↳ yourusername you know what lydia stfu ↳ emmyparker @/yourusername shes not wrong ↳ yourusername WTH IS WITH THIS DOGPILING 😭😭

mccallmescott why do i have the feeling that your study sessions don't end up being study sessions ↳ yourusername what makes you think that scotty? ↳ kirakitsune @/mccallmescott they usually devolve into yap sessions ↳ silverallison SHHH kira!! they aren't supposed to know ↳ 24stiles is that why we aren't invited?? ↳ emmyparker that's a secret we'll never tell 🤫 xoxo gossip girl 😘 ↳ 24stiles 😐😑😐

* * *

lyds.martin

liked by stilesss, kirakitsune, and 1923 others

lyds.martin girls night in! 🥂

tagged: yourusername, emmyparker, silverallison, + 2 more

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yourusername wheres my pic creds 🤨 ↳ lyds.martin you're tagged, isn't that enough ↳ yourusername no 🥰 ↳ lyds.martin 🙄

24stiles i see my invite was lost in the mail ↳ emmyparker it can't be lost if it wasn't sent 😊 ↳ lyds.martin you weren't invited bc you aren't a girl, hence why it's called a girls night

silverallison we need to do this more often, it was so fun !! ↳ kirakitsune 100% agree, especially with finals kicking our asses rn 😭 ↳ lyds.martin heard, but @/yourusername has to host next time ↳ yourusername thanks for volunteering me lyds 🙃

* * *

24stiles

liked by yourusername, isaaclahey14, and 1120 others

24stiles boyz night 😤💪💯 (and theo is here too ig)

tagged: mccallmescott, isaaclahey14, liam.dunbar + 2 more

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lyds.martin wow someone was bitter about us hanging out with out them ↳ 24stiles whatever do you mean? ↳ lyds.martin you're an idiot

yourusername i know damn well you didn't use my apartment as a fire hazard ↳ 24stiles ...its technically not just your apartment, it's isaac's... ↳ isaaclahey14 @/24stiles are you trying to get me killed?! ↳ yourusername @/24stiles @/isaaclahey14 stilinksi you're first on my list, lahey you'll be next ↳ 24stiles what about scott??? ↳ mccallmescott DUDE??

* * *

yourusername

liked by kirakitsune, silverallison, and 2009 others

yourusername love you wolf boy 🥰 🩵

tagged: isaaclahey14

view all 1014 comments

24stiles ew i didn't need to see this first thing in the morning ↳ yourusername you jealous i nabbed him in high school when you had the chance? ↳ 24stiles pffhh absolutely not, besides im in a happy relationship with em ↳ yourusername that's what you think :) ↳ 24stiles EM?? EXPLAIN NOW @/emmyparker

silverallison this is disgustingly cute ughh ↳ yourusername feel free to join us if you want ;) ↳ silverallison don't tempt a girl with a good time 😏

kirakitsune for research purposes, i need to know where isaac's shirt is from ↳ emmyparker same... for research purposes ↳ yourusername i sent you guys the link 🤭

isaaclahey14 love you lots babe ↳ yourusername love you more 🫶

* * *

isaaclahey14

liked by emmyparker, 24stiles, and 1923 others

isaaclahey14 love you sweetheart ❤️

tagged: yourusername

view all 863 comments

emmyparker wait are these candids of her actually good? ↳ issaclahey14 do you doubt my abilities? ↳ emmyparker yes 😁 also @/24stiles take notes ↳ 24stiles how do i keep getting attacked in posts that aren't even mine 😭

silverallison @/isaaclahey14 im gonna steal your girl ↳ isaaclahey i'd like to see you try ↳ yourusername guys noo don't fight over me (please do it does wonders for my ego) ↳ silverallison nevermind you can keep her

yourusername this is actually so cute, love you so much honey <33 ↳ isaaclahey14 i swear you always underestimate me ↳ yourusername aren’t you forgetting something 🤨 ↳ isaaclahey14 i love you too ❤️

[angeamant]

my disappearance ♡

hiii this is cynthia most commonly known as gentlehue/jgracie/irlangelics <3 i wasnt gonna make a post like this for reasons i'll go thru under the cut but after having three of you reach out to me on pinterest i thought it'd be unfair to leave everyone in the dark 💗 tagging @luvusrry @findmeonvenus / @daystarpoet and @bloodwrittenletters thank u for checking up on me lovelies xx

okay so the main reason i deactivated yesterday was because i realised being on here was negatively impacting my productivity LOL as you all probably know (because i never shut up about it) im in my second to last year of high school and everything i do now and next year is what has the largest impact on what uni i get into which then has a pretty big impact on where i end up in the future basically LMAO 😭 my life is so busy these days between doing the whole ib itself which im still getting used to since the british system is so structured and tells you exactly what to do in comparison to ib where a lot of it is you doing your own thing & prepping for uni by researching diff courses and the lnat which is an exam i'll have to sit in order to apply to study law & also getting back into all my extracurricular/picking up new ones which is another thing i have to get used to since im SUCH an academically oriented person & a BUNCHHH of other things i wont be getting into rn 😭 and so i cannot afford to be lounging around in any way whatsoever right now!! this is the socmed app i spend the most time on and i tend to tell myself its ok cause im not replying to notifs im just scrolling which is so silly LOL but i need to eliminate that from my life soooo i left

a mini second reason why i left is smth thats gonna be rly hard for me to explain here & im pretty sure probs has smth to do w my ocd (another thing i dont rly like to talk ab that much so idk how many of u know this) but i have this thing where if something negatively impacts me or like if i have a negative association w it it becomes "imperfect" and i acc cannot have it around me like it physically disgusts me and i cant function or think or anything 😭 and thats what was happening w my tumblr account because of how it caused me soooo much procrastination and so little work done 😣 soz if this doesnt make any sense or if its weird but its smth ive had for years now and am slowly working on 😭 my perfectionism is so horrible too and tumblr makes it worse cause im always overthinking what my feed looks like 😫 like i cant have too many talking posts or too many asks or too many reblogs and im always doing them in a way that balances it out in my head and i spiral so bad over it 🙁

ANOTHER reason (wow lots of reasons) is cause ive begun to enjoy my real life so so much these days and dont want to be distracted by being online 😭 i love my friend group i love sixth form i love having a crush i love it all! a lot of my friends r graduating this year as well and so i probs wont be seeing them as often afterwards cause obvs theyre not all applying to unis in our city let alone our country !!! i dont wanna take this year for granted at ALL cause i'll so regret it if i do :(

the second thing im addressing is why i left w out saying anything LOL basically i knew if i posted smth and said my goodbyes i wouldn't commit to it at all 😭 and i need to seriously be disciplined w myself these days if i wanna be rich and traveling the world in 10 years 🫡

i dont know if i'll ever come back but im so so happy i got to know u all whether u knew me from jgracie or discovered me later on after i abandoned her im so glad i got to call u my lovely friends :) i carry a piece of you all wherever i go ♡ you know you'll always know me! i wont deactivate this account but i wont be active on it either unless i decide to fully come back, but if u send me an ask within this week i'll answer it xx

for those of you who are worried about my fics on jgracie, i made a backup account back in the summer and everything ive ever written is reblogged over there :) @cynarchives

[amxrany]

!! CHAPTER 7 / DIASOMNIA ARC SPOILERS !!

Let's get into some theory talk rn guys cuz why not (I'm totally not procrastinating):

In reference to this post, I remember this one theory I read on twt about someone analyzing the RSA logo and its possible connections to the Silver Owls

Which I wanna connect to another theory where NRC could possibly be made in honor of Briar Valley (this is reflected in one of the backgrounds from Diasomnia dorm looking similar to that of Wild Rose Castle and the theory of Meleanor's soul residing in the dark mirror)

It could be possible that RSA was made in honor of Silver's biological family while NRC was made in honor of Briar Valley (leaning onto to the Crowley is Leverne theories here but it just makes sense yknow), and if we also include the speculation that Silver's family knew Ambrose the First, is he aware about Silver's existence? Considering the fact that Silver is a 400+ year old baby it could be possible that them knowing his existence would continue down all the way to Ambrose the 63rd, the current headmaster of RSA.

This is because we find out that 3 fairies blessed Silver to fall asleep and will only wake up under the condition of true love. If all of these Ambroses (im tired ya'll I still gotta do my group research paper after this) knew that there is still one survivor left of the Royalty in the Land of Dawn, are they perhaps searching for the lost prince? If the current Ambrose finds out about Silver in NRC, could this lead to a bigger dispute between the rivaling schools?

(This is just me manifesting we get a Silver in RSA arc, a girl can dream)

I also wanna credit @sicklyseraphnsuch for their post giving me some brain juice, @moonlightequin1 for their "RSA is possibly related to the Silver Owls" theory and @prince-kallisto for expounding further on the "Meleanor's soul is inside the Dark Mirror" theory (I really recommend checking out their take on the Crowley/Leverne theories, they're really nice)

[moonshynecybin]

Can't decide on a specific scene but i'll take anything you have to say about i'll meet judgement by the hounds bc at this point i have re-read it so many times ...

the thing about ill meet judgement by the hounds is that literally no concrete planning went into writing that thing. i was up against a deadline for a grad school assignment i was procrastinating like NOBODY'S BUSINESS had two panic attacks that week (unrelated to school!!) and then flew to bath with my roommate spur of the moment. posted that ch2 late at night zooted on my anxiety meds and and woke up to some LOVELY messages that i read on a bus when i was pulling away from the airport. insane experience. i didnt even want to give it a chapter two right away i was like IM BUSY. and then i wrote it immediately.

BUT to actually talk about the fic. like you asked <3. i actually had this idea that i wanted to follow marc's pov (at that point i had only written vale) and get inside his insane headspace leading up to his arm surgery and then be like. wouldnt it be crazy if vale was there and wanted to reconcile a bit but he was also kind of avoiding SAYING THAT. wouldnt that make marc feel EVEN CRAZIER. marc marquez saw trap simulator. inside you there are two wounds one is valentino rossi and the other is your fucked up arm. anddddd 2022 seemed like the ideal place for a rosquez reunion to me! like. dramaturgically. marc is on the brink. vale has just retired (easy to get a reason for him to have an epiphany regarding marc, made even easier bc marc pov means i never have to explain it in depth !)

and the thing about this fic is that it was supposed to be. A LOT longer. go race by race until his surgery and have them talk a lot more. change a little more gradually. but uh. ive already said my life was insane at that time and i got excited and fucking SENT that badboy. (again. i was lightly tranquilized.) which i think MOSTLY makes it better but the pacing is still little wacky. anyways i do think of the scene i cut where marc talks to alex all the time but i think i also fully deleted it! dont write fic under the influence! i also cut a BIG scene of them at the french GP where vale brings marc a sandwich and makes him eat it. it should also be noted that i was doing SO much journalism research about this period and i found a bunch of WILD quotes from marc that i compiled into a small insane vision board of them to ground my fic in his crazy way of conceptualizing his life. that i apparently also deleted while zen-ed out. so

more stupid behind the scenes under the cut

actual plot summary (my "outline") that i wrote out at the top of my google doc complete with typo:

Thinking about how absolutely distressing it would be for Marc pre surgery or right after if Vale tried to reconcile. Early 2022 before surgery decision and post Vale retirement

Scenes of Vale like. earnestl y talking to him. Marc represses a panic attack every time. race by race?

and here's what i had written for aragon, which is full of lines i just thought of with NO context or structure like this part would NOT take off the ground. you might notice some of them get repurposed later in the fic:

III. French GP, 2022. P6.

Marc’s still not out of the habit of reaching for him, apparently. He looks— God. Marc’s head hurts just looking at him. He could swear he has defenses from this, from how Marc can feel where he is in every room they’re in together. He guesses somewhere in the last few weeks he’s lost them, again. Just another thing he used to be good at.

despite everything, Marc can feel himself relax, with Vale here. The warm heat of him sharing space. He used to feel like this all the time. Vale to his left. His arm, casual and pain free, on his right. Now he's scarred all the way down both sides.

He remembers when he was a kid and he met Vale. How he had winked at Marc and said, I'll look out for you, cradling the toy car that Marc had brought specifically to give to him in his hands. How Marc had turned it over in his brain for years. I'll look out for you.

Marc bargains with himself

Marc does stupid, stupid things when Vale is in his life. He knows this. Going to the ranch is a bad idea. the press alone, if anyone finds out, would feed the paddock journos for years. It would be stupid— risky

Someone needs to tell him not to race. calm him down. Usually, it’s Álex. 

MORE OUTLINE: Vale brings him a sandwich and Marc wants to cry, terrible race. They watch a movie its very Valentino voice lemme take care of you !!! but no talking about their past lmao. maybe arm

Genuinely terrible race. That one stat about alwasy finishing top 5 or crashing. Vale like actually gets him to talk about his arm which gets no where fast (guest alex?) and riding misery begins to reach a tipping point

[doll-elvis]

I tried asking something like this before, but I'm not sure if it didn't send correctly or you didn't want to answer (which is fine!!) But just giving it one more try, because I am curious about your opinion. This goes back to that prejudice conversation and how much the other guys are possibly projecting their own feelings there - I remember red also saying in that part of EWH that elvis thought catholics were dangerous/the demon referred to in the bible. Do you think that's true? I just always found that a bit strange when he had quite a few girlfriends with that background.

thank you for re-asking!! im also really sorry for not getting around to it the first time you asked, thank you for being patient <3

for a while I was getting loads of ask and I got a little bit overwhelmed as some of them were very heavy topics that I really needed to gather my thoughts/research on before answering them and as a result some other asks have been left unanswered… for a very long time 😭 but I promise I have the intention to answer every ask I get, im just a serial procrastinator 🤧

As for Elvis being prejudiced against Catholics I think this may have been another situation of Elvis holding these views inwardly or even sharing them with a few close friends but not exactly acting on them

What I’ve come to learn from reading many different perspectives of Elvis is that it’s likely he said different things, or acted differently, depending on the person he was talking too and likely the reason we get so many conflicting stories about him

For example I would say the Memphis Mafia group (Red, Sonny, Billy, Lamar, Marty, and Alan) grew up in the same or very similar environments to Elvis: southern, conservative, and mostly in baptist/pentecostal churches (with the exception of Lamar, Marty and Alan who were Jewish). Where on the flip side you have men like Jerry and Joe who were raised Catholic and from my understanding raised in more “liberal” upbringings. So it’s likely that Elvis talked/interacted with the MM slightly different than he would with Jerry and Joe, and even Larry Geller who was born in New York as opposed to the south

Maybe he expressed views like being against Catholicism to the MM because he knew they came from similar backgrounds as him, and wouldn’t be offended by it. This is likely why you haven’t seen Joe or Jerry talk about Elvis’ alleged anti-Catholicism because I don’t believe he would ever express those views to people who he knew were Catholic because he didn’t want to offend them or hurt their feelings, his heart was truly good in that way

(excerpt from “Elvis: What Happened?” where Red and Sonny claim Elvis thought Catholicism was “dangerous”)

I found this excerpt from “Elvis and the Memphis Mafia” below very interesting ⬇️

It seems to be another instance of Elvis acting differently with the some of the group than he did with the others because from what I remember about Jerry’s book, there was no talk over their political differences and definitely never a instance where Elvis called him a communist 💀

in fact Jerry said “Elvis didn’t often speak openly about race or politics”

So maybe this was a situation where when Jerry was expressing anti-war views or views that Elvis deemed too “liberal”, Elvis would then privately complain about them to some of the others because he knew they likely thought the same as him

It’s like how people say they have a different personality for different friends. You might talk to a work-friend different than you would to a school-friend, so maybe that is why we get so many conflicting stories about Elvis from the people who knew him: if that makes sense🤧

* also this is just my personal interpretation, definitely don’t take it as truth until you’ve researched for yourself, I’m honestly kind of spitballing here

What is also really interesting about this excerpt below ⬇️ is that according to Marty Lacker it was Larry Geller who put the idea that Catholicism was “dangerous” into Elvis’ head, likely when they met in the 60s. So I wonder if that actually coincides with when Elvis started telling Red and Sonny that Catholicism was “dangerous”

(excerpt is also from “Elvis and the Memphis Mafia”)

However if Marty, Lamar, Red and Sonny never spoke on any anti-Catholic views that Elvis potentially held, I would have never thought it myself because there is so much evidence that points to Elvis being open about Catholicism

Like you mentioned, he had several girlfriends who were of that faith

To name a few of the top of my head, Regis Wilson (his date for his senior prom), Priscilla Presley, Joyce Bova, and Sheila Ryan were all either practicing Catholics, or raised Catholic, and I’m sure there are even more

And speaking of Priscilla, it was Elvis who decided to enroll her in an all-girls Catholic school, despite her attending a regular highschool in Germany. So if Elvis was openly prejudiced towards Catholics, why would he date girls who were of that faith, let alone date a girl that went to a Catholic school (that he chose) ⬇️

(excerpt from “Elvis: What Happened?”)

He also befriended several Catholics like Joe Esposito and Jerry Schilling along with Mother Dolores Hart who he met on the set of Loving you. She was a very devout Catholic even as an actress, which I’m sure Elvis witnessed, and has now been a Catholic nun for several decades, and has only ever said good things about Elvis

And according to Jerry Schilling, Elvis also had no qualms about flirting with a bunch of Catholic girls in 1955 ⬇️

And according to a story told in Peter Guralnick’s “Careless love” Elvis was more than happy to make out with a Catholic girl, and really respected her decision to stay a virgin due to her Catholic faith ⬇️

Not to mention Elvis literally covered a Catholic song called “Miracle of the Rosary” !!!

and we also can’t forget that he starred in a film (Change of Habit) that was about three Catholic nuns ⬇️

so all in all, if Elvis did indeed hold anti-Catholic views like some of the Memphis Mafia members have alleged, it didn’t seem like he acted on them or ever purposely mistreated a Catholic person

Elvis truly had a good heart and I think his actions should be judged rather than his words, especially when it could be a case of them projecting their own prejudices, and not actually said by Elvis himself 🤧

[ciaran]

if you don't mind me asking, do you have a diagnosis of adhd? if not, how did you come to learn that you have adhd? the part about feeling like scribble more than a person resonated like. a lot. so. I'm sorry if this is too personal, you obv don't have to answer if you don't want aaaaaa

haha its fine um. i did my research basically i looked at the symptoms and experiences of other people w adhd and also decided based on the severity of the impact on my life. i do have a formal diagnosis bc i wanted medication but i dont take my meds regularly for various reasons. these are my primary adhd issues

lack of short term/working memory or its very poor (i lose track of tasks easily)

trouble organizing and breaking down tasks

inability to start on things bc every task feels mountainously overwhelming no matter how simple

executive dysfunction ("i really want to do this thing and i can do this thing but i am not why why why why why")

poor emotional continuity/generalized forgetfulness

sometimes brain goes SO fast. other times brain doesnt go at all

sometimes i am so confused by information

people tell me how to do something. i am listening. after they finish talking i DONT know what they said

other things

when im really bored my head hurts and i feel sleepy. the sleepiness is fine but my fucking?? head hurts??? when im too bored???

in school my grades were like, 49% scraped pass in some subjects and 85%+ in others. no congruence whatsoever

i NEED stimulation. i cant do movies or watch anything basically bc i cant just sit there and absorb something quietly. i can read or play video games but if m doing smth w my hands (writing, drawing) i need music. 2 sensory input minimum. 2 simultaneous trains of thought or everything gets derailed

i change tabs and instantly forget what im doing

and i have trouble paying attention to things, i procrastinate, etc. but everyone w adhd is different and you might find that some but not all of these things are you. look at other peoples experiences and pattern match.

lastly, diagnosis is a tool for you to get the resources you need. dont feel pressured to be formally dxed unless you need medication. if you want to self dx then go ahead, just keep a handle on why youre dxing and what youre hoping to get out of the process. remember, its for you. your happiness matters.

[lorre-verie]

guess who?

hi everyonee!! genuinely not sure if u guys remember me but yk, either way, I just wanted to tell you guys how my life’s been going these past 2 months. (as well as showing my appreciation)

new year of school is going well, my class doesn’t suck as bad as the last 😭🙏 ive recently started 2 planners, one focusing on academics, goals and one focusing on self improvement, and I feel like they’re helping me a lot!

as for the projects I mentioned in my last post, i’m working on them slowly but surely. starting to apply myself more at school, and i’m trying to cut back on procrastination SEVERELY. also i feel like i can actually draw well now! isnt that super exciting? im excited, for maybe no reason but im so happy im finally seeing improvement. practice really does make perfect.

my original story and my plan for a webtoon are going smoothly, im just doing research on webtoon artstyles and book chapter guidelines so i know what i can do to make good story progression!

im also being more organized (finally) and starting to be less forgetful!

oh and i might make an art focused account? just to help motivate me to keep practicing my art skills.

unfortunately, still have no interest in writing fanfiction for any fandom for the time being 😭 sobs internally

but maybe, if i feel up to it, i might do short character drabbles. for any fandom! im open to any suggestions, if any of you guys want to suggest any?

most importantly, i just want to thank everyone that has interacted with any of my posts at all. this tumblr account has seriously pivoted the direction of my life and showed me that i can accomplish something, and put smiles on people’s faces. (might be overreacting but let me be sentimental alright? 😀👍)

one day, maybe, my name will be on the cover of a bestselling book. or maybe ill have an art account with over 10k followers. the point is, i will never forget the support that everyone has showed me here. it really may seem like a small thing to you guys, just liking someones posts on a large social media platform, but it meant so much for me that people liked what i created.

i dont think i expressed my gratitude clearly enough in my goodbye post. so i hope you guys got it here 🙏

wherever my life goes, and wherever you guys go, i hope you all know that each and every one of you have impacted my life.

thank you all :)

and,

as always,

thank you for reading.

much loved,

lorre.

oh and also ill be more active on here now 🙏 i just know that wherever i go from here on out, i want you guys to be here with me, if you’ll have me.

[r-ene]

Pros and Cons of being an Overloaded Student in Respiratory Therapy

during my 3rd year, where majority of the subjects are major subjects such as critical care management, airway management, mechanical ventilation and neonatal respiratory care, i took up more units than prescribed by the university due to being an irregular as a transferee (2nd year). and so i had 11 subjects with 31 to 33 units with 6 days a week of classes. i was leaning on writing how i survived it but rather i think "10 pros and cons" would be a bit better for those considering to undergo this kind of process.

this is from my own experiences tho, so... yk

Pros

you get better at time management. you drown, otherwise.

less procrastination. like #1, you drown if you do.

you get better at juggling loads of school work

you get better at putting boundaries - your body knows when it's time to study, time for family and God, time for rest (although you still need to get reminded), time to socialize

your focus becomes... great (most times)

you get disciplined.

you appreciate your early mornings, rest days, people and God (should you ever be a believer). i personally love my early mornings where i spend about 10 mins on average reading the Bible before classes, it helps me cope with all the stress and made me more optimistic. i also observed things are better (ex. grades are higher in quizzes) when i don't forget to communicate with God before starting my day

its a good practice. as a future healthcare worker, even for my internship there would be schedules of 12-16 hours aside from the regular 8 hour shift scheduled about 5 days a week, with saturdays being lecture or research days, it's a good help.

you are able to find ways how to study more effectively. i personally figured out what study style/s are best for me and when i should utilize study style A (standard) and study style B (for exams, quizzes) and so on.

you learn to compete only with yourself. most times we compare our progress and grades with others when actually, we do best when we only look at ourselves and compete with ourselves yesterday and move forward with it because you understand that you are a unique case and individual and so are others.

Cons

quick burnout = it takes a toll on your health especially when exams come where all classes would require a written one (practical exams such as in skills lab, performing airway suctioning or arterial blood gas were a blessing to me)

major subjects = major requirements. sometimes you forget that your minors need some attention too at times

i only had 1 day of rest (sundays). i love going on worship services but sometimes you just want to rest and sleep the whole day ??

you get very, very anxious and jittery when you dont have anything to do.

sleep gets put off when there are tons to do despite being good in organization and time management. i once went 38 hours without sleep on an exam week, i think it was finals ?

...it was very difficult to study for exams held on the last day, especially during finals. i loved pulmonary disease management and hemodynamics but i was just so exhausted i picked rest over studying otherwise my vertigo might act up

when bombarded with tasks (ex. case study + other major presentations or tasks all together), it's difficult not to spiral. therefore, i suggest to take a walk, especially if you have a baby doggo

if you live with your family, its a bit difficult when they fail to understand you have tons to do on a daily + need some rest. i live with my family of 6 members and sometimes we get into an argument with how im unable to help around especially while im resting after class

it is very difficult to schedule dates with friends or siblings or s/o (i don't have a significant other so that's one less thing to worry about, haha). oftentimes when my older sister asks me to accompany her to the mall for a date or just as company, i spend most of the time in coffee bean, studying. sometimes i rush there when there's an online quiz scheduled in the middle of the day even without lectures.

you gotta sacrifice a lot of things. as you can see above: you sacrifice good health, time with loved ones and yourself, binge watching or gaming (me personally i set a rule if im not on a semestral break i dont play games), good sleep, difficult to commit to other things (uni organizations or work, etc) and etc etc

this being said, i don't discourage or encourage anyone to become an overloaded student as it depends on your unique situation. with mine, my faculty wanted me to supposedly join my batchmates for this year's internship but i was still left behind because there were no offerings for the subjects i needed to complete everything during the summer term and so... yeah, hahaha

other than that, id say i did very, very well both semesters !! not to boast, but it was something i worked hard on and sometimes you just gotta be proud of yourself :)

[mccnstruck]

hey i need some advice

recently ive been trying to research more about adhd and other things because i genuinely think i might have it and i want to go to a doctor even if they say i dont have it so that i can like, get closure

but i am a minor, and being in a immigrant family, it seems like "mental health is real except when it comes to us". ive asked my mom around 2 years ago that i might have adhd but not only did she laugh at me, when i asked my doctor she also laughed at me and told me "i probably searched up symptoms on google". ive been really hesitant to bring it up again and its gotten worse

ive been crying because with assignments even though i had hours to complete it, even without screens i would just, stare into my computer and nothing would get done, or i start cleaning my room. my friends call me "the master of procrastination" and i laugh yet i know i can do so much better. i live in my daydreams atp, and my friends don't expect a response from me because i dont reply in hours. yet i still can't bring myself to reply to texts because of this sudden freeze that stops me from doing anything. i have plenty more experiences but i dont have the energy to type every single one.

another problem is the question of adhd in childhood. i don't remember a lot of my habits or any of my work ethic from elementary but i remember hiding a lot of my mistakes from my parents so they can't be reliable sources for this question.

i have imposter syndrome for a lot of things i do and that includes talking about adhd for me because i feel like im faking everything to get attetion and i dont know what to do at this point

my only hope is to talk to my school counselor and ask for the school psychologist but

1. they say they're confidential but im scared if they talk to my parents all of my efforts in trying to figure out anything is gone, and they become more stricter.

2. where i go to school it is so "taboo" to talk to the counselor about your feelings, so i dont have a class where i can ask to go to the counselor without any of my friends asking me what i was doing.

i know this is a hopeless situation but if anyone has any information on anything, i'm all ears.

thank you for reading this and stay safe :)

[breadstickysquid]

Haha I wrote something unedited before the stream and I'll uh. I thought it'd be cool to share it!

9/10/2023 (RANBOO REBRAND DAY!!)

Alright so, I can’t focus on my schoolwork rn because im too excited so heres an essay on how finding ranboolive changed my life for the better.

Early 2020, I had been watching mostly Wilbur soot, but had fallen out of interest as my mental health declined with the start of one of the worst years of school I’ve had that fall. I was having an absolutely rotten time. I only had 1-2 friends who I saw/talked to maybe once every few months, my classmates were apathetic to me, I was extremely gender dysphoric (though I didn’t know it at the time). I was quite frankly a danger to myself. It was.. bad. But one day, I was procrastinating on schoolwork by browsing youtube and I stumbled across Ranboo’s “spooky’s jumpscare mansion” video. I watched it and was instantly hooked. I’d have been on youtube for YEARS before then, but something about Ranboo’s content and community (though small compared to today’s given that I found him early October of 2020) made me feel warm and welcome, less lonely. It became an escape. I’d turn on vods in the background or tune into streams live while I chipped away at the workload that had me on knife’s edge for my depression and anxiety.

Things still sucked for awhile. I’d watch streams, seeing ranboo interact with others, and yearn for friends like that. In march of 2021, I finally took the leap and joined twitter, hoping to find people who liked watching Ranboo as much as I did. I did find those people, but social anxiety got a hold of me and would erase any words I wanted to say to fellow boobers. I did however, meet my best friend, which is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. (today, we are queerplatonic partners <3)

I had a chunk of time when I felt guilty about spending so much time online, and I stopped watching ranboo for awhile (the beginning of the beeduo meetup), but eventually I ended up coming back (it’s the neurodivergency oops), and though I still didn’t make any Ranboo viewer friends, I had a few friends that I introduced to also watching ranboo, just so I could infodump to them. By the time a year had passed since I started watching ranboo, I had a friend group again, and I saw other boobers talking about mental health and gender, and I actually realized I needed to reach out for help, and I started taking medication and doing therapy.

By 2022, I had reconnected with IRL friends, and was seeing people outside of my imidiate family more than once every few months for the first time in around 2 years. I ended up finally getting my grubby little paws on having a discord account, and lurked in the Rancord for ages. I never talked- I was too scared to, I thought I’d be seen as lame or something (that’s so stupid thinking back, all boobers are lame [lovingly] yaknow) but I also dragged my best friend into slowly starting to consume ranboo content, and I started realizing “hey, I could do this content creation stuff too” and I started to research things.

2023. now over 2 years of watching ranboo, and I’ve watched them grow as a person alongside me. It made my heart warm. I was happy, I was seeing my IRL friends every week, I lost count of how many friends I had, I was getting decent grades and had started adhd medication :D

Generation loss released, and became my entire personality for two months. It is one of my special interests still, and has lead to me and my friends making our own horror series, which we are very proud of. I think I’ve watched generation loss all the way through at least 15 times by this point. Once, I watched it 3 times back-to-back in 2 days, making friends watch it. I found other boobers, and converted a bunch of my friends to booberism. I feel tad bit bad or weird for having my main special interest literally be some funnyman on the internet, but the past 3 years have had both the worst and the very best moments of my life.

As of today, I have more good days than bad days. I’m working on making a brand to follow my dreams and start streaming (my “what’s up danger moment” as I’ve been calling it), to make fun stuff with friends. I am a born entertainer. When I watch ranboo streams, I see things I can try for my content, I see things I would do the same and differently, I see how to set things up. Sure, I’m terrified to start, but I’ll never know if I succeed if I never do it. As I write this part, it is about 1 hour and 40 minutes until the Ranbrand stream. My chest hurts from excitement. I cannot put into words how much ranboo and their community matters to me. It has influenced my life forever in a positive way, and it will continue to do so long into the future, even when/if ranboo retires from content creation.

I look forward to many more fun times with the boobers and the boob king, and perhaps even having those experiences for myself. When I think about streaming, I can’t see my flaws, I don’t have that little voice degrading me in my head. I can only think about myself positively, and I have ranboo and the boobers to thank for that.

It’s the start of a new era. Its bittersweet and nostalgic, but change is inevitable and good. Both ranboo and I have grown as people, becoming better versions of our best selves, and gaining confidence. I see life now, and I see the beauty of it, not the grime. I can never thank him enough.

Everyone is so kind and nice and sweet I just feel like theres so much love going around its amazing :( thank you guys for making these last 3 years just incredible

[frankmillerturnonyourlocation]

oh dammit i also need to build two more pages. Sigh okay as a reminder to myself and also because i want to talk about them messily here's my two wills that ive been procrastinating on giving tags:

Will Stanton!

From The Dark Is Rising (book series). Wildly dense British fantasy from the 70s that's gonna require more nuanced understanding of western European history to fully analyze and appraise than I have in me to give. With what I've got: it's, uh, definitely a British fantasy series from the 70s, with pieces of all the flaws you'd expect and possibly some exciting new ones, but it's good-hearted overall, and damn if it isn't beautiful.

I picked up a really old copy of the second book in the series from an elementary school that was giving them away during possibly the coldest, darkest, most socially hostile period of my college experience. Real leaving in the dark and coming home after dark vibes. I ended up finishing the book in the following semester, on a bench in town right before a beautiful spring storm. So, like, of course it's tattooed onto my heart.

Will is a twelve-year-old boy who lives on a farm and is also the last of a group of ancient, magic, impossibly wise guardians of all things ontologically good or whatever and he's no longer counted among humans as one of them and he's a little shit to his big sisters and he sings soprano. He walked into the woods with a teenager who wanted to hurt him and he never again acted entirely like a child. He tried to tell his favorite brother about it once. His brother didn't understand. He is the only one of the series' many child heroes who will remember any of it, and he will remember it forever, because he will not die. and im his weird time-lost best friend babysitter he shares a soul bond with and we have small companion dragons that are manifestations of our souls and its rad as fuck okay dont worry about it istg this is as far outside of canon compliance i have gotten with a self ship thus far

and thennnn.

William Shakespeare! (THE CHARARCTER FROM SOMETHING ROTTEN!)

Musicals are so fucking fun. It's like, cool, this thing rewired my brain, and I'm never gonna see it again. And we just do this to ourselves on purpose because live theater is so special and powerful like that. We do this on purpose.

And THEN it's like cool, cool, I'm researching contraceptive methods from the renaissance now, awesome. I'm spending my one wild and precious life thinking about meetcutes with Literal Playwright William Shakespeare. Nobody unfollow me for this. It's barely even rpf.

He's a little BITCH and a PLAGIARIST and a ROCK STAR and a CYNICAL ROMANTIC. I am CROSSDRESSING as a TEENAGE BOY to safely and legally CROSSDRESS AS A WOMAN to play BIT PARTS and get HECKLED onstage. And we slowburn until we develop a deep reliance on each other as two people with few healthy and reciprocal relationships with anyone else.

At some point, he lets me write some scripts and have them performed under his name. We all fucking hear me right now, right? Jesus Christ. It's not historical rpf. But I am saying that I would allow fictionalized, slutty William Shakespeare plagiarize my writing if he let me direct a little bit and also we were in love about it. I am saying that. And we're all still here.

[starfruitgirlie]

as someone who is diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and adhd, executive dysfunction is my bread and butter, it's an almost daily occurrence in my life that I have been able to tackle over time. here is a long dump of how i manage those feelings.

disclaimer: i have received professional treatment including medication, these things are just habits ive built/are building that help improve my life on top of the treatment

I get super sick about 2-3 times a year and i'm out of school for 3-5 days at a time. i had one of these occurrences just before my spring break so i missed 3-4 tests that were very important. naturally when i got back i had a billion things to do that involved going in early at the crack of dawn. the first thing that really helps my brain is writing down everything i have to do. not putting it on my phone, ive found that it doesn't help whatsoever and that actually writing it in a notebook or just on a sticky note helps a lot more. next i email my teachers. i'm someone who starts and ends all my emails like "im so sorry to bother you im such an awful lowly creature and im an annoyance so sorry" so i get nervous about it but 99% of the time if you are reasonable, polite, and get to the point teachers will not mind. (even if your teacher is an asshole, there are always other teachers/staff who will help). In my experience the fact that you even email in the first place says something because a lot of kids just wander into class and say "yeah i was gone what are we doing" and it makes their lives and yours easier to know what to expect when you get to class. once you figure out what you missed DO THE ASSIGNMENTS. i'm a really bad procrastinator but im a successful procrastinator so even if you have to spend 8 hours cramming on a sunday just do it. i know not everyone has the flexibility for their schedule that i do but i utilize going in early a lot. you don't often get one-on-one advice from teachers and having that time (for free no less) makes a difference. my school offers morning resource and saturday resource for things like this. so this week i went in before class and went in during my lunch time to work. i was able to finish 99% of my missing work and i only have one more assignment to complete.

I don't really do a lot of after school activities besides volunteering so i use my downtime to work on my creative hobbies but i have a lot of flexibility so i take advantage of times when i could be getting help. it's easy to feel hopeless like there's no way to get everything done but your teachers want you to succeed and are available more often than not. just communicate! side note, lying about being busy won't do you any good. being more honest about your time management and mental health is better (in my experience). your teacher doesn't know if your parents just got divorced, they only know you have 5 missing assignments.

while i do try to "glamorize" my self care routine by pretending im a youtuber i tend to be more efficient when i get in the okay lets just get shit done mindset. I don't have the money to invest in a really complicated skin care routine but i do my research and remember that while im so tired i have to get up and wash my face. routines have always been tough for me but thinking of it like okay im a tv character about to go to bed let's do all these pretty things. plus, im so gross if i dont. Also, self care is sometimes doing the stuff you don't like doing but you have to do. you're doing it for yourself, you're helping out future you from crying on the floor because of giant laundry loads. i used to not keep up simple cleaning and wait until it got so bad that i had to clean, but establishing little chores to do makes it a lot more manageable. the way i wired this for my adhd brain was thinking about it in "im in the room, i see the thing, i may as well take care of it because its on my mind" i admit its not the most efficient way of doing things i often just do tasks i see in one room rather than sorting things out but it works for me. i think of it like when you're cleaning your room and you find your old DS and you start to play it. that piece of laundry on the floor? i may be in the middle of doing this but i'm going to pick it up and bring it to the laundry room right now. if its terribly inconvenient for me i have to write it down and make it so obvious for future me that i can't just forget about it. a method i do is take an item i use daily and put it in the area that needs attention. that way i will be sure to remember it.

the mindset of "well future me will be grateful for this" and "may as well do it now" may not seem glamorous but it's effective for my brain.

this may backfire on me later but i've been reading up more on hygiene and germs bc the more i think about it the more grossed out i get and the more im motivated to clean/do chores.

i'm also a teenager so im always on my phone playing crossy road or looking at pinterest, so something i do now is if i need to go to my room quickly to get something, i leave my phone where i am so i dont get side tracked and distracted. leaving my phone somewhere in a drawer or in a closed room helps get distractions away. granted my brain finds so many ways to still be distracted but it helps.

this last one may be a little crazy but i talk to myself. not in the having conversations it's just when im in an unmotivated depressive state it helps to talk out loud what im thinking/feeling. it helps my situation not seem so daunting and controlling, and more like im in control. (ex: "okay i feel like crap and i don't want to do anything but my closet is incredibly messy so im going to clean it")

executive dysfunction does not equal laziness, mental health is a serious thing and even with medication things can still feel chaotic and out of your control. i find it hard to take mental health advice from people who haven't experienced it themselves, and i have so i want to make those teens like me who felt so useless and lazy like they aren't crazy and they are valid. being depressed at ages 12-14 is like hell because one you're depressed and you're also super cringey so it's going to be a hard experience but being able to get up and take a shower and change your socks makes it less hard. thanks for reading i am extremely long winded and i don't feel compelled to shorten this post smell ya later

[huntingingoodwill]

I did get my report done! The night before too😛

Then my brain was so dead I didn’t do shit after. I watched fifty shades of grey🫣 some parts were absolutely hilarious totally bad fanfic vibes (not that you’d know what that is) and then the others were actually sort of intriguing and made me wonder a lot about the characters especially from a psychology pov. It seems that my classes are finally proving to be useful 😂

And then continued to do no school work the rest of the weekend…

Anywaysssss currently I am doing two huge loads of laundry while eating a snack to procrastinate preparing to apply for research labs 🫠and I should prob also start prepping for the stupid bio lab final exam😭😭

How are your exams going 🙃🙃

-😊💕

yesss good job!!! procrastination works ❤️

HELP AWHHHH thanks for the compliment 😭 i haven’t seen fifty shades but ive watched like reviews and it just seems… a tad cringe just a tad but also wasn’t it actually based off of twilight fanfic jsjsjajah that is. it’s kinda slay actually. HELP not from the psychological standpoint 😭 i would love to know your diagnosis of christian gray though it’d probably be pages long

yk what not doing schoolwork on the weekend is fine. the weekend is for sleeping and partying and it’s okay not to let your “Real Responsibilities” or whatever infringe on that. at least that’s what i tell myself ❤️❤️

bro ur such a stem person i can’t 😭😭 GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR APPLICATION AND EXAMS you’re gonna kill it 💪💪💪

my last paper is sososososo soon im so pumped to get it over and done with!!! im literally already planning for my friends and i to party afterward im ready for my freedom. im ready to party hard and sleep harder.

[sparkymediaseminar]

Remembrance of Sparky's Past

So yeah, I'm pretty much done with this course now. Or at least, I'm done with what I could get finished in time. I took this course solely because it was recommended to me in a school email, and I thought to myself "sure, I could use the extra credit hours".

I didn't know I'd have to do so much so fast. The blog posts are one thing, sure. But a 12 page research paper as well? Ah geez, that was a lot. Some people reading this might think "What's the big deal? I can do those easy". The problem isn't that I'm bad at writing assignments, not at all. The problem is that I can barely bring myself to start them in the first place, as I procrastinate to hell and back. They just terrify me on an existential level, so I stall them out of pure anxiety. It doesn't matter how easy or hard the thing really is, I just don't like writing about things that don't come from a special place inside me. I can definitely write about something from the bottom of my heart that I'm 100% passionate about [like cartoons], there's no question about that. But a research paper that I could hardly ever care about? Ugh...

If there any people reading this who have ADHD and struggle with procrastination like I do, I FEEL YOUR PAIN.

The real problem that comes with writing assignments is that my procrastination puts more stress on me than what's necessary. I easily could've finished the assignment much faster, but I could hardly bring myself to do it in the first place. Delays, delays. That goes for the blog posts as well. Who delays themself when writing a blog post of all things? I do, cause I've never written a blog post before in my entire life up until just this month [as part of my assignments]. Because all forms of writing that don't stem from personal passion are hell for me, I stalled those as well.

If you wondered why many of my blog posts seemed rushed or sloppy in any way, that's why. I couldn't afford to waste any more time, and just wanted to get the thing out of my way. I still did the best I could with the time I had, but I know I could've done far better.

Regardless, I still enjoyed learning about various subjects related to digital media as part of my course. The stuff related to data collection and advertisements was disturbing [SCREW YOU BIG BROTHER IM NOT LETTING YOU TOUCH MY CHEW TOY], though I'm glad I was able to learn what net neutrality is [my heart goes out to the many impoverished indigenous families that struggle due to lack of good internet].

Because the final day of this course just passed, I sadly don't think I'll be able to cover the material for a Module 7 blog post [real reason---I'm tired as hell and need a good break]. While I'm very glad that I was FINALLY able to finish that research paper and get it turned in the last minute before the due date, I sadly wasn't able to get an abstract written in time. As a result, it will be left absent here.

In addition, I will also ignore the required presentation video. I do have PowerPoint, but I do NOT have any time to use it to piece together a video presentation. I apologize, but I just ran short this time.

Regardless of my shortcomings, I'm very happy to have met the many other aspiring students who have also participated in this course. Special thanks goes to Maurice Bailey, who I really loved speaking with even if I didn't agree with some of his positions regarding...certain things. [I don't trust BitCoin one BIT] Even so, I still think you're a pretty cool guy and I deeply admire your accomplishments and ambitions.

I also give a VERY special thanks to my instructor, Dr. Zeng. I am deeply grateful to have been able to speak with you about my term paper, as I was nerve-wracked the whole way and needed all the good advice I could get. I think you're a very wonderful teacher, and I'm happy to have been able to work with you.

I hope everyone here will have a wonderful summer, whether it be spent through vacations or studies. I love having the opportunity to attend college, and I'm grateful to have a wonderful education.

Sincerely,

Sparky T. Dog

WOOF!