#also im not really saying that ppl have to like how shes written

[hearts401]

YES!!! I CAN!!! saw this notif and kind of went insane i am SO GLAD you asked... this is gonna be really long im sorry in advance but i want to get all the points leading up to and after mega ultrabots of cyberjustice because i think its not touched on enough. also i have not finished s5 ive just finished the recipe for distaster

okay so this is mostly based on how she talks to juno especially regarding his ideas and plans and how much danger they put him in as well as how shes USED to this and she KNOWS how easy it would be for him to die or get hurt. in soul of the people first is before she really knows juno's changed and is worried he's throwing his life away, we have this

shes instantly against it, even before she suggests it she doesnt really want to use a plan that puts him in danger because she cant trust that he'll consider his own wellbeing (which obv comes from the FIFTEEN YEARS that hes been.y know. throwing his life away) she doesnt TRUST him to actually care about his own life and after he was missing for like. a week. she obviously wasnt really super excited to lose him again.

the way juno comforts her is by insisting he knows she can help him out of it. if you think about it, ritas always trying to help him.

especially hcpd era+directly after

she helps him a lot shes used to it. and shes still helping him in soul of the people except this time he knows and its the only reason hes doing it. so then hes not throwing himself away which is good progress. but shes known him for a very long time

cut to carte blanche. junos a lot different. but that doesnt mean she wont worry about him, more that she doesnt have to as often. she knows him and nureyev have their whole thing and are getting along and no doubt she can see hes a lot happier.

literally mentions its good for her heart and shes glad that juno has someone like him

but like. she still WANTS to help. shes literally a secretary and his hacker and his best friend whos seen him at some of his worst points like right after the hcpd.

in ultrabots, they dont really. need her help. shes very smart and shes very skilled and she works fast. so once shes done with her only job its like. yeah. okay. but she wants to help its what she does usually.

shes also BORED and LIKES helping and feeling useful and good. especially for her family

so theres the origin of her wanting to help everyone now when we go back to cyberbots, thats pretty much the gist of it i wanna say?

she mentions wanting to make everyone feel better. shes been mostly hanging around juno for the past fifteen years since they work together and all and hes been depressed for so long, of course she wants to make sure everyone is feeling good and not stressed out of their minds. while also wanting to be appreciated

which reminds me of these lines. when you find people who want you around, you want to be good enough for them especially if nobody takes you seriously. juno says several times that rita isnt stupid. because he knows she isnt. but people tend to not take her seriously because of how she acts and she feels like shes not good enough alone. and this whole trip was her thing alone which means its upsetting that it doesnt work out right.

her main issue in ultrabots is that she kept it secret. its that she wanted to do it alone to prove she could. she didnt get any advice from anyone else because she wanted to be the one helping her friends and keeping them safe, yknow? she wanted this to be her thing to both a) relieve stress ont he people she cares about, and b) feel like a useful and worthwhile member of the team.

and then she gets upset when it doesnt work and everythings kind of falling apart. someone saying one nice thing to her was enough to get her thinking again (which kind of happened in the scene where juno first meets her. he calls her back and shes instantly settled in again. she wants to help out!!)

once she figures out how to get htem out of that mess shes really excited and i think its very important that this focused on her hacking and not her robot shenanigans. because hacking is her thing

and she admits it!!! that she took too much onto herself (which she accused juno of doing in soul of the people) and that lead to tons of holes in the plan

and then we get to buddy ofc!!

if shed told buddy, it wouldve worked out! she talks to jet and he has his "things just worked out" line that i think is relevant to all this in a way.

then we have chill things. she invites him to watch a movie like in the hcpd.

very sweet. theyre back to how they were when they first came to the carte blanche.

she offers the idea to juno but she doesnt offer to come with him. just puts it out there for him!

this whole part makes me ill in general. but shes almost like juno was in soul of the people. assuring him she'll be careful and it won't take long and nothing bad will happen. shes only doing it because she feels like she has to and she understands why he might be concerned about her (in ultrabots she told literally nobody else about that plan as a fall thru in case it went wrong)

not only that but shes upset about having to do this and its less about feeling useful and more about getting in and getting it done so they can all be safe. she doesnt willingly throw her life away like juno before but rather she doesnt think plans all the way through. but she believes she has this one thought thru because its simple to her.

possibly not the best example of her development but i think just in general post carte blanche she takes things more seriously ILL GET TO THE GOOD EXAMPLES SOON please bear with me i have so much to say....

she also tries to explain what shes doing to juno here but he wont listen so thats on him 😭😭😭

so im skipping everything else because its not suuuper relevant? all the way up to the clean break

now rita hasnt heard from juno since his comms broke in infernal grind ofc. and this has HAPPENED TO HER BEFORE. where she lost all contact with him. where hes just gone for days and she has no way of talking to him. no way of knowing if hes safe. but she sits back and trusts him to act. its only wehn she feels like he might need helpthat she stepped in. and instead of doing some flashy plan, she simply called up the people. a call that could not just be easily traced back and one that could be brushed off because if juno and vespa HADNT needed it, it wouldnt do any harm to them.

she doesnt even hesitate! she trusts him now. so much more than she did in soul of the people.

itsnot super high stakes but in the vanishing act, she again just trusts him enough to leave him alone on the stakeout. the most she says is be careful after he got shot at which is typical of her. now that she knows the people she loves are safe and that juno especially is more careful with his life, she doesnt need to worry as much.

in this we know she discussed her plan with juno this time!! yay!!!

now i've run out of image space. uh. head in hands. i'll just have to copy paste quotes from here on out.

RITA: (MOUTH FULL) So what d'you think, Mista Steel? Did I do a good job? JUNO: Sounds great so far. And you checked out the crime scene for me, too?

This stuff is all discussed! She's open and listens to him and the deviation from it was literally just cereal. She's not working ridiculously hard to do everything on her own and prove herself. Which I also feel is partly because of being wiht just Juno instead of a whole family to worry about but yknow

JUNO (NARRATOR): She went off like that, chanting our three leads under her breath to make them sticky in her memory. I was antsy waiting for Rita to get back, but not because I was worried. Give Rita a direction and tell her to go and she'll nail it every time. You've just gotta be clear about the direction you ask her for.

^^^^ Just this whole thing tbh. Reinstating that she is trustworthy which she was not in mega ultrabots. (or prince of mars tbh!! Which was mostly just because of silly mistakes but still. he knows he can rely on her)

In the recipe for disaster she's very put together and does almost everything the way juno asked.

this stuff seems all very small but in the end Rita's not the kind of character who has a giant change like juno. her problems are generally smaller and less obvious. its little things that im pointing out and so some of this might be reaching. but its still there and i think its important. comparing her relationship w juno from season 1 to season 5 is very special to me. I think their trust all developed gradually and it shows if you ask me.

AND. YOU WANNA KNOW A GREAT AWESOME EXAMPLE OF THAT?

The rita minute. where she tries to fix the stature all alone. ritas detective agency. guess what ritas doing in that entire episode! Helping JUNO!!!! BY TAKING CONTROL OF THE AGENCY!!!!!! And she messes up because she refuses to listen to other people's ideas. so its not out of the blue its just more obvious and the rita minute for junos bday where she tries to put together a whole party all alone. in the fourth rita minute its way more focused on rita herself so we're not talking abt them but you catch my drift? all those and then mega ultrabots and then rita letting juno steer her when she needed it. the last line i have before i run out of examples (i'll come back to this once i finish the finale if theres anythign to add i promise <3) is first of all

JUNO: Don't worry about it. But... is this thing all set up? Am I ready to go in? RITA: You remember the plan? JUNO: Of course I remember the plan. It was my goddamn plan. RITA: All right, Mista Steel, then I'll be here waitin' for your call. Just... be careful in there, okay? JUNO: I will. Talk to you soon. RITA: Byeeeee.

She doesn't try to help. she trusts his judgement and lets him go in. just asks him to be careful and she trusts he will be (unlike in soul of the people) and then she steps in when she has to with the zero gravity room.

now not all of these are 100% reliable again. some are more high stakes than others (soul of the people is right after juno vanishes. and literally everyone there is trying to turn them into mindless robots) and some are definitely a reach. but i still think they play a part in their own little ways and i think its important to at least acknowledge she matures between season 1 and season 5. but i might just be insane about her. some of these also might just be redundant all i can do is hope i articulated myself well enough that you understand where im coming from at least! i love rita a lot im glad i have an excuse to talk about hre and i am so sorry for how long this ended up just to make a point that i think she got more reasonable in season 4 and 5.

and finally, the rita minutes. theres not one! not after the fourth. which wasnt about her need to do good and and keep people safe. it was just her struggling with her sexuality. i just. love her so soso much

saw someone say ultrabots didnt affect ritas characterization and i think its time for me to get normal and okay

[littencloud9]

//

[leezuhh]

the xenophobia in genshin is crazyyy 😭

[hexhomos]

little random but i really appreciate your dissections and analysis of Mel mainly bc the fandom either adore her and won't admit she is a flawed character and get over defensive when you call her out, or straight up hate her and make her out to be completely evil.

Mel is written as morally grey for a reason and when ppl try to act like she was morally correct in everything she did, it goes against the whole plot. yes, she regrets most of her actions by the end of the series and is left to deal with her family's leagacy and the weight of her actions, but that doesn't undo anything she did. and her eventually starting to care about Jayce doesn't just cancel out that she manipulated him (you'd think this would be obvious)

what bothers me the most i think is meljay shippers who say Jayce mistreated her and that Mel only ever helped and care about him and aided him in rising to power politically, and how she was so understanding of Jayce's and Viktor's friendship. yes, encouraging methods of political corruption in order to gain more power is so caring and kind of her! ❤️

Mel might've told Jayce to go spend time with Viktor after finding out he was ill, but the one time in the show she interacted with Viktor was... prejudiced to say the least. she never directly spoke to or answered Viktor, and the expression on her face any time she looked over at Viktor was so clearly full of dislike. it shocks me ppl still believe Mel and Viktor could get along and respect one another, especially romantically. no way.

anyways, sorry for the rant. just tired of how many bad takes there are in this fandom and very fond of your account lol

you are right and you SHOULD say it re: that oft repeated argument about her "only wanting what's best for him" bothers me so much. Its just... weirdly patronizing and spousing pro-piltover nationalism every time i see it being brought up. "She's doing what anyone would do/what is best for the city!" IDK MAN I AM NOT ROCKING WITH THAT. Im not an ubercapitalist. I don't think any of that was the good option actually lol. Probably I hate piltover too much to humor these arguments but from day 1 we are shown this is a city of immense class inequality in which the elite few holds all the power and all the profit gains at the cost of everyone else's submission and humanity. (Not for nothing: these are also the classic old guard Noxian tenets of supremacy. That's how they do colonization.)

The interactions Mel has with Jayce for majority of the series, before she watches that bomb come in and has her rapid onset change of heart, are her talking about how investors want his work and how she can use his discovery to advance this city (which is already built on exploitation!) or instigating his rise to power as a new ringleader for the council's rigged mercantile operations, and this is just not good or heroic in any way to me. This isn't love either, it's industrial convenience. The fact that she's conflicted by the end doesn't cancel these actions out! Jayce realizes that he's been used in ways he strongly disagrees with and any the affection in that dynamic vanishes instantly. The time he spends in isolation replaying his mistakes in that cave has an emphasis on mel/heimerdinger's voice on the council too, all of his regrets with blindly following someone else's vision or disappointing an idol he held in high regards.

And Jayce DOES care about the state of the cities, or he did before the writers forgot: He's the one who pleads for Zaun's independence at the end of season 1! He's the one who spent all his life trying to work towards improving the lives of common people, giving them the miracles they've been denied!

Viktor is a fucking nobody. He is extremely worthless in the eyes of the piltovan upper crust, only kept around on the merits working with Jayce have afforded him; and they still don't care. They're probably hoping he dies quicker. We *SEE* him being singled out and alienated during that weapons discussion where Mel is pleading for Jayce to think about "protecting his people" (only piltovans, never, ever zaunites- protecting piltovans against the zaunite menace.) and Viktor is set off at that whole exchange because it doesn't matter how loud he screams, these people can just tune him off and pretend he doesn't exist anyway. It's what they're used to doing. It drives me insane!!!!! His indignation is extremely under-explored and very inline with his act1 speech of feeling like an undesirable presence in piltover and having to push through with the grit of his teeth. It's open faced classism and I still see people pretending it didn't happen. Fandom makes all of these characters FAR less interesting by defanging them. The heart is in the friction and in the ugliness of them fucking up because they have very, very different conceptions of "utopia" - and some of those utopias require the death of the other characters present.

A lot of the Arcane character arcs have to do with realizing the above, and weighing if the sacrifice is worth the risk. Sometimes it turns out their utopias were shit.

[somewhereincairparavel]

If Jason had been written to have atleast somewhat of a jealousy streak of Percy, then it would have made him more human tbh. Ironically I feel like the fandom would've been much more empathetic to his character, if he acknowledged that he envied Percy a little and then came to terms with it. We know that Jason's fear of being 2nd best is a very integral part of his character, I mean, Gaia taunting him with that in his nightmares was enough to reduce him into tears. and that's the ONLY time we've even remotely seen him cry. Percy had so many things Jason didn't have, a loving mom, a loving girlfriend who took a knife for him and never broke his heart, a loving camp that looked for him endlessly after he went missing, people ACTUALLY wanting him to survive because they care about him not because they need him for glory, etc. and if im being honest Poseidon wasn't even that bad of a father (for a big three god, atleast) tbh he still came to percy's 15th birthday, invited him to fishing, genuinely loved sally, she was probably the only mortal he fell in love with and it stayed that way, he was never rude to percy and stuck up for him etc. not tryna say percy had it easy or anything ofc he didnt, but there is no point in denying that he had a MUCH better support system than jason ever had.

The fact that Jason despite having none of these things was not even remotely envious of Percy made him appear like a bland robot with no emotional baggage

Compare this to Nico, who was rightfully a little jealous/idolizing Percy while simultaneously having a crush on him, also a little jealous of Jason because he was "the golden boy" who everyone respected, it made him have SO much depth and the fandom loves him (rightfully so)

also, leo. He was resentful of Percy up until blood of Olympus because of how everyone loved him, how Calypso fell for him almost immediately, etc. it's very realistic.Jason feeling a little resentful of Percy and then later talking it out would've made his character much less of a shallow stereotypical nice guy that ppl dislike.

maybe Rick could've expanded on Jason's jealousy of how quickly camp Jupiter accepted Percy and how quickly Reyna made him praetor, when jason himself had dedicated his whole life to it and was only made praetor in the last couple months, how camp Jupiter and his supposed friends never held a memorial for him even after they thought he was dead, etc. Also how Percy spent more time with thalia than jason ever did, we know he did feel a little envious since he mentioned how much he wished thalia looked for him the way she was looking for percy

I would've loved to see Jason being a little cold to Reyna too because of this and then they later talk it out, since it's VERY realistic, I was surprised with how quickly jason shrugged the whole Percy- being- a -praetor thing off, I thought he'd have felt a little betrayed by Reyna considering that they were childhood friends, and reyna never really sent a search party or something after him like annabeth did, gods, the amount of angst potential this man had i love him ugh

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

ppl please. You are making Vaggie stupider than she is in canon

"Why didn't Vaggie know angel weapons could kill angels, when Lute used one to permanently gouge out her eye-"

Because Lute also ripped off her wings, seemingly permanently, WITHOUT using a weapon.

It makes sense that Vaggie would figure only other ANGELS can HURT angels. And that's still not the same as KILLING ONE.

You can say "well if she was scarred then by it then she should've assumed a real attack could have killed her" but why? In hell, Sinners can be TORN APART and pull themselves back together. Why wouldn't Vaggie assume that she can take damage up to a point but still not die? Or that she would just reform again afterwards?

"It was a writing mistake to have Vaggie not confess her past to Charlie before they went to heaven, no believable character would do that-"

It was a character flaw, one many other characters in the show have, and it is very true to life that longer you keep a secret about yourself- especially one you're afraid people will hate you for- the harder it is to admit to it.

We know she feels like her only point in existing is to help Charlie. She said it. And later it ties in perfectly with her backstory of losing everything about herself and being found by Charlie, of rejecting her life killing Sinners and devoting herself to supporting the dream of saving them instead.

We also know the last time she "failed" people in her life she was hurt and abandoned by them. We know her FIRST plan was to NOT go to heaven with Charlie, to try and make some kind of excuse.

But then she couldn't come up with a good excuse. And she couldn't bring herself to say no to her supportive and loving girlfriend. And then they were in heaven, facing a COURT HEARING to decide the fate of SOULS, that her girlfriend would have to argue a case for-

Does that really sound like the best time to drop an emotional relationship truth bomb?

Sound. Not "was". Would it have FELT LIKE a good time to come clean to Charlie about being a former Exorcist.

HOW would it have FELT like a good time for that to Vaggie? Especially after Adam and Lute got through telling her how being scarred and crippled by them was her fault, being left down in hell by them was her fault, and her girlfriend will ALSO hate her if the truth comes out?

THIS IS A SHOW. ABOUT PEOPLE. WHO MAKE CRAPPY SELF-SABOTAGING CHOICES (look at Angel Dust) AND THEN HAVE TO DECIDE WHAT TO DO WITH THE FALL OUT OF THaT

THATS THE SHOW

THATS. THE POINT OF THE HAZBIN HOTEL

it's not "bad writing" when a WOMAN does it TOO without an essay explaining her every thought leading up to it!

like im sorry her scenes were rushed, im sorry they had worse animation and story boarding and pacing than the guys' moments get, im sorry she didn't get more focus, im sorry she isn't a fav character of the show creators-

but she IS well written. tbh all of the characters in the show are.

they do things that makes sense based on what they've been through, and what they feel, and what they want, and that's. that's good character writing.

i don't LIKE a lot of the characters but they're still WELL WRITTEN

I HAVE QUESTIONS ABOUT VAGGIE- BUT ONLY BECAUSE IM OBESSEED WITH HER AND WANT TO CRAWL INSIDE HER SKULL! SHE IS, IN THE SHOW, A PERFECTLY BELIEVABLE CHARACTER

bad writing would have been- her getting angry at Charlie for being upset about the secret! it would've been her CAVING to Adam's blackmail and arguing against Angel Dust to save herself! It would've been her moping on the top of the hotel while Charlie was angry with her instead of actively doing what she could to help, like she did!

i've lived through SO MANY badly written characters DO NOT try telling me VAGGIE is one of them- i remember the horrors. THIS is not THAT

......anyway

im probably gonna regret posting this aren't i

[emilem-forevermore]

hey! intro post :D

are you having a panic or anxiety attack? here :)

here is a link to the trevor project (a helpline for queer youth) if you are struggling. remember you deserve love and recovery :)

need a boost? check out my tag #em says it’ll get better <3

and if you know me irl, don’t follow me here- go to @peanut-jelly @squirrelfrienddd or @femininemilem

okay, a bit about me:

personal

my name is ollie, or oli, oliver, or em.

my pronouns: he/xe/it/fae/they. no she/her or fem terms.

my age: i am a minor. don’t be gross.

my birthday: april 8th! i’m an aries :3

nicknames i've collected: emilem, gay little frat boy, catboy tea, cheeto boy, leaf boy, em and em

my height: 5'0! i am tiny :)

i'm happily dating @nyxerer120 (how! i’m the luckiest boy in the world holy shit)

poetry blog! @emilems-poetry

vent blog: @emilem-is-sad

just another one: @femininemilem

the other one where you can't mention my main bc my friends see it: @peanut-jelly

therian blog: @emilems-a-cat

also just another one: @squirrelfrienddd

i also run one of the color shark blogs, you can figure out which one ;)

i also have a pinterest, spotify account, and scratch account. this isn't something i'll be sharing with the world but if we're moots or smth and you want it lemme know :D here is one scratch acc tho

fun facts about me:

i earned a black belt in taekwondo (i no longer do it tho).

i cannot play any instruments but would like to learn guitar one day

i’m a norwegian forest cat therian but i’m fine with being called human/person too @emilems-a-cat

fandoms and interests

music: harry styles ⋆ 1D ⋆ hozier ⋆ noah kahan ⋆ chappell roan ⋆ sabrina carpenter ⋆ taylor swift ⋆ the amazing devil ⋆ a lot more

fandoms: gravity falls ⋆ warrior cats ⋆ heartstopper ⋆ brooklyn nine nine ⋆ only murders in the building ⋆ a good girls guide to murder ⋆ wild life smp + more

interests: poetry (check out @emilems-poetry) ⋆ drawing ⋆ digital art ⋆ writing ⋆ reading ⋆ french ⋆ veterinary sciences ⋆ the human body ⋆ psychology ⋆ hebrew, spanish ⋆ chinese ⋆ italian ⋆ music ⋆nature

check this out:

my favorite post on this website, a slight tw for self harm mentions, but aside from that it's extremely moving and well written and might help if you're feeling down :)

PLEASE:

ask me stuff! i love answering questions

message me if you think i’m cool!!

send me art and poetry!!! it’s so awesome to look at :3

interact w me! i love talking to yall and i don't bite that often

talk to me about heartstopper, poetry, wild life, and noah kahan :)

if i say/do something that upsets you, let me know! i try to do my best to be inclusive and kind but sometimes i mess up so help me out :)

i love my moots more than the world!!! here's a list of some of them:

@hotteststar my first moot and fellow bisexual :)

@rins-batcave my reason /p

@raeprise mon cœur /p

@sparky4577 my brother (not irl but i wish)

@mcshizzle-the-fire-boy the most sigma of them all /pos

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@thecrazyalchemist my bestie with the coolest name(s) ever

@mrblazeflappybird my cool uncle!!!

@wishiwereheather13 my really cool moot im too nervous to talk to (your banner is so cool btw. just sayin.)

@boldofyoutoassumeicanspell my wise gal i should talk to more

@holiday-spice my favorite seasoning (get it. cause his name is spice. lol.)

@halflingwithaknife i get excited whenever you're in my notifications you're so cool :0

@aflairforthemelodramaticc my father :)

@blaxolt one of the funniest folks i know :3

@catinasink uh. uh youre so cool. wtf im scared of you youre really awesome :0

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if you'd like to be added to (or removed from) this list lemme know! i have so many mutuals and i love them all beyond words <3

oh also i tag my weekly polls with #ollie’s polls so those are there if you wanna see

[dollcherray]

Yan! Miss circle w/ a fem!teacher reader when?💪🏻🔥🔥 (I'm so sorry I'm getting interested in how you write😢)

✮⋆˙HOTLINE BLING ୨୧

Yandere Miss Circle x Fem Teacher Reader

A/N:YESS, I AM BITING THE BARS OF MY CAGE, TYY ANON ‼️‼️‼️‼️ 💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼 MY LIST IS NOW COMPLETE, also, sorry for the delay, i went to hang out with some friends and also, THANK YOU!!! IM SO HAPPY PPL LIKE MY WRITING

Tw: Yandere topics, killing mentions, descriptive gore, toxic relationship, breaking bones mentions, Remember: Yanderes can be extremely dangerous! do not approach nor interact with people who acts like this towards you.

✮⋆˙ Okay, this was probably love at first sight, i just see Miss Circle as someone hard to get a crush but when she gets it, its probably love at first sight and she would be REALLY obsessed with her crush, she would probably the 2nd worst yandere to have in the school. (along with ms grace, Alice is the 1st)

✮⋆˙ Miss Circle shows lots of signals and obvious hints that she loves you and that she really wants you, but she thinks she is being very discreet about it, so if you ever find an eyeball in your teacher desk written with blood: "be mine ♡" it was definitely not her.

✮⋆˙ Miss Circle would have no problem in eliminating anyone who she sees a threat or who falls in love with you and she wouldnt even try to hide it, you would just see the multilated body who was missing half of their skin of the someone who gave you a good morning too kindly.

✮⋆˙ Miss Circle is controlling, aggressive, narcissistic, mean and clingy, she would often be mean to you too, but in a passive aggressive way because thats how she shows you love, by controlling you and bully you into doing what she demanded asked and when she is not showing her love to you in words, shes just clinging into you like a cat.

✮⋆˙ Like, if you were just chilling, she would come with a ":3" face with her eyes closed and would rest her head on your shoulder, if she could purr, she would, thats probably the only way she shows love without making your mental health 5x worse.

✮⋆˙ She would kidnap you but she feels like she could break you, so she decided against it to not take the risk of losing you and your charm to insanity.

✮⋆˙ Would have no problem in teaching you a lesson if you tried to leave her, a scratch or two on your arm or leg, enough to draw blood would probably do the trick, if not, she could break some bones to make sure the letter is passed.

✮⋆˙ Miss Circle would definitely stalk you, in school, on your way home, everywhere, if she gets the possibility to, she WILL do it, she does that to make sure you are safe and of course, to admire you.

✮⋆˙ But of course, she wont stop saying and thinking that you are very lucky to he with her, someone so feared and respected because of her hostility and merciless brutality and she will say it to your face.

✮⋆˙ If you try to leave her... i dont think things will end well for you, lets say that... she thinks you are just flawless and beautiful, she needs you at all costs, but if you dont want that... well... if she cant have you... No one can.

✮⋆˙ "I love you."

[dukeofdelirium]

Would you be able to expand on what you mean when you say El’s character isn’t strong enough to hold the show together? I think she’s a good character on paper and has good arcs in the first two seasons of the show, but the writers have tried to draw it out (especially her Papa and lab arc) for wayyyyy too long, so we’re just repeating the same beats over and over. I think the lab stuff is also too separate from the rest of the characters for her to be an effective centre of the show, whereas Will for example has the link with the regular normie cast and the supernatural stuff. The show also tries to critique the fact that the characters treat her like a superhero, but then they turn around and rely on Deux ex El every season. It’s getting a bit tiring and happens at the expense of the rest of the ensemble.

I didn’t say strong, I said she doesn’t have enough depth as a character to carry the show. Which is true, she doesn’t.

We know basically nothing about El beyond her superpowers and time at the lab (and even that we don’t know much on), because El doesn’t even know herself. What are her interests? What are her passions? What does she love and dislike? We don’t know anything about her.

I agree that they have tried to keep up this lab shit for way too long. They really shoehorned in the Vecna backstory to try and connect her time in the lab to the overall plot which I think is pretty dumb and boring as hell. Maybe I’d give a fuck if I cared about El as a character, but I don’t. I have practically no attachment to her because the show hasn’t even allowed us to view her as a character with depth, but rather as a character that is our superhero and weapon to save the day. Literally all she does every season is raise her hand and scream. Im serious that if I have to keep seeing this bullshit in s5 I might actually bash my head into a wall.

El has repeated the exact same arc since the beginning of the show. Run from trauma and into the real world. Find friends to connect with. Run away from friends to develop alone. Reunite with friends and save the day in a dramatic moment where she almost dies. Everything she does is not enough to actually stop anything so cycle repeats.

I’m sorry, it’s getting old. It was old by s2 but I let it slide bc s2 is the best season of the show. By s3, it’s really time to put it to bed. By s4, I was sitting there throwing my hands up in the air because I was so fed up with the same damn thing over and over again. And it wasn’t just me. I know tons of ppl feel the same. There is genuinely so much screen time wasted on El especially in s4. There are other characters who desperately need development, like Lucas and Erica, especially given the focus on them in this very season. Why are we spending so much screen time on El when she has nothing to show for it? At the end of the day, we still don’t know shit 🤣

There was an obvious decline in quality for the show after season 2. The second the show stopped focusing on Will and tried to make El the focus instead, it went downhill. S3 was genuinely bad. Like it actually sucked lmfao. S4 was ok.. but that’s all it was. The best part of it was the Hawkins plot with Max and everyone because that felt like the first 2 seasons. They’re trying to make this show a big Hollywood blockbuster and that isn’t what makes ppl love it… bring back the Smalltown horror, the Stephen King vibes, match the damn energy from that INCREDIBLE opening scene with Will Byers running home. Bring that energy BACK, this show is in desperate need of it. Like can I tell you how much I miss that vibe? That excellently written horror? That genuine mystery and intrigue on the shoulders of a character you feel a real attachment to in a matter of minutes in part because of the actor but also in part because you already saw aspects of his character? And the aspects of character we saw weren’t forced down our throats and weren’t told to us like we were children, either. They were shown.

Bring back s1 and s2 vibes PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THAT IS HOLY!!!

[tree-obsession]

hopes/theories/predictions for each of the chrysos heirs' + cyrene's personalities

not at all accurate, and i haven't seen any story leaks yet(although i saw the coreflame ones, so beware)! this was written a few days before 3.0 came out and is just for fun! only the chrysos heirs i know the names and faces of... sorry hysilens fans, i have no idea for her :(. cyrene is included because a) i love her and elysia and b) she's gonna be relevant, even if idk if she'll be a chrysos heir

a few coreflame spoiler under the cut, but no other story leaks! a bunch of people have already predicted the coreflames anyway lol

aglaea- im very excited for her story-wise, a couple people have already said she probably has some hidden side to her, and she may even become an antagonist of sorts in the second part! i personally love that she's the oldest(maybe? or just most experienced) heir and the one to unite them all. she's our first playable so she'll def be super important. i really wanna know what her golden apple thingy is all about too... but aside from that she's ETHEREAL. i need to know everything about her she's so gorgeous. she can commit a little murder as a treat i think she would deserve it. idk why i just get that feeling. she's so calm and elegant and stoic like i think she should go just a little apeshit for the hell of it.

tribbie- im really curious- did she split into three or are they born triplets who all carry the coreflame? how does all that work? why does she have two city affiliations in her drip? im not the most interested in her, per se, but she's got a lot of questions too. i hope she's playable as three characters because i wanna see those animations!!

anaxa- honestly i have the most questions + speculations about him. like what happened to his dull eye(s)? why does he have an eyepatch? why's he called "the Foolish"? how are he and hyacine related? why are his eyes the same colors as March's(and from a planet where she'll be very story relevant? i'm very biased at him cause su's my favorite male character in hi3 and anaxagoras was one of my fav greek philosophers. i already said this in a different post but su's variants are all batshit insane so he's gonna be. interesting! also the timeloop theory and him maybe being aware of it?? that got me really interested. but his name is the bit really bothering me- why name his after the guy who a) invented the concept of nous, an aeon we know is involved in amphoreus b) didn't believe gods were responsible for bits of the world like everyone else did(which is gonna come up in amphoreus just you wait) and c) was right about basically everything several hundred years before anyone had the tech to back it up?? like that's still insane to me. also how are we getting his coreflame if cerces is dead like come on what's going on there?? i wanna shake him around in a box im excited for him!

hyacine- lots of theories saying she might also be from the grove of epiphany, and she and anaxa were sitting in the same tree in golden epic trailer! i think her design's super cute, and she'll be important if her titan is actually aquila like people have theorized. she'll probs be a healer? i wonder what the inspiration behind her name is too... she doesn't seem to have flower motifs, even, but if she's from the grove that makes a bit more sense. i'd initially thought she was from aidonia, a city in the mountains(near the sky) plus the place aquila might be from(judging from ancient hymns, but that could be my misinterpretation). im so pulling for her. i also really hope she and anaxa have a big brother-little sister relationship like ppl on twitter have said, bc they looked so happy together in that one frame of nameless faces and im weak for found family.

mydei- uhhh a lot of people have said gap moe?? idk if that's a theory or leaks- personally i think it would be super funny. im a little worried about him, cause the words in his drip marketing were... super ominous, like why does he have to die a thousand deaths? he's a prince, which makes me wonder how nobility works in amphoreus + when castrum kremnos was destroyed, but that's a different conversation. i like the little braids in his design- good nod to greek culture! he's also got a throne in the nameless faces trailer which is kinda interesting and probably foreshadowing

cipher - par! do! fe! lis! i LOVE trickery characters so i'll probs pull her unless i have zero funds. her model looks so different from the initial art but i do still love the vibes so i'm not that put off. she already has her coreflame! but that one scene in nameless faces where she's surrounded by flames... no death flags im begging. elysian realm was bad enough for sure. let them be happy!! i have high hopes for her personality- i hope they don't lean too much into the "catty"(hah) bit and focus on her backstory, whatever that may be!

castorice- afgausdfyg her ANIMATION?! must pull! she's so gorgeous and she has a butterfly motif and she's related to DEATH in a GREEK MYTHOLOGY WORLD and she has a MASSIVE SCYTHE im going absolutely insane. also dull eyes syndrome for the win! she's gonna make me cry. side note her dragon's super cool looking too. i hope she becomes a major companion for tb (it seems so from the remembrance tb keeping up with star rail!). she's. im gonna enjoy her part of the quest so much oh god. im shaking in excitement. also while i dont like the same dress on every single hsr girl hers actually looks pretty good. if they put butterflies and dragons into all her animations i might actually pull eidolons, which so far i've only done for ruan mei. that's the power of a death goddess tho!! im so excited for her.

phainon- kevin... smiling... looking like a puppy... oh god my h e a r t. if he's like a happy lil puppy like he was before the Traumas + dr mei's death in hi3 i'll throw myself through a wall. hoyo please let him be happy this one time let all the flamechasers have a happy end im begging. they deserve it. im begging for all the people who theorize he will have to hold the world on his shoulders to be wrong about just this one thing because my heart WILL give out just a bit.

cyrene- ELYSIA ELYSIA!!! oh god she's so tiny!! she's got the same lil giggle and attitude about happy stories im gonna ghksufgukygfk jhf. but anyway. we know nothing about her yet, but i like the theories that she's somehow on the "outside" of amphoreus looking in + the ones saying mem is her fursona. she's adorable and i really, really hope she's playable. so much. you know her animations would go so hard you know it hoyo loves elysia too much for anything else.

one last thing i just wanted to say that i already said on twt: i think in the golden epic trailer, the first one, the order in which the chrysos heirs were introduced is the order aglaea recruited them in! i have no real evidence, other than that it would kinda make sense and having tribbie second makes sense because... messenger who can recruit heirs! but idk, just a random thought.

aaand that's all! again, these are all speculations + hopes nothing i say here will necessarily be canon :)

[girlreblogger]

also to add to my previous post, when i say blk yn go through crazy situations im exaggerating but i mean (“cause me personally!!!!!!!!!!!”) allowing the character to be treated in certain manner and be put in “awkward” positions. i also want to say that the “situations” seem unfulfilling like i wanted to say in the first place.

because of the unsavory situations she is put in she legit has to have characteristics that are straight up unnecessary if the wellbeing of her character was prevalent. and i have to say that because of blk yn stories that it applies to. (and no ian talking abt how ppl be complaining abt yn being “ghetto” 😒)

drama, comfort, or for fun, is cool and dandy but it’s the same type of thing and i’m not tryna come for the plug stories like don’t nbgaf like omg i’m so tired of hearing bout them freaking stories.

to the ppl who still decide to ignore how damaging fr CERTAIN! blk yn fics y’all remind me of the ppl who support tyler perry movies simply because it’s for entertainment and “he’s telling a story” (that not everyone has)

yep. those things are true but an impact worse than good is being produced. like bffr.

and i feel conflicted by even saying that because some ppl obviously genuinely relate or find comfort in those stories but at what cost. like is comfort worth change and progression?

me rn:

some ppl just really don’t gaf and don’t care to want better. please don’t let the ppl who don’t gaf sway you. for the ppl who do, reblog nice fics or write. blow them up so other blk girls can find them. we deserve it.

there are so many blk fics where yn is not going through those things and if there is “drama” is solved or there’s a healthy resolve. (there’s so many blk writers who need to be publishing books fuck tumblr or ao3 and tryna get reblogs. with all that talent girl MAKE SOME MONEYYYY! YALL STUFF BE GOOD.)

i’m dead serious. why haven’t you thought abt it.

but yeah. it is what it is we have to put more work in to change as people in general. but i really just want my ppl to grow. ppl find comfort in fics for a reason. i really think a good balance of what everyone is looking for and needs should be found. i know ppl gonna feel like ppl telling them what to do but they prolly the ones who don’t want the change for wtv.. reason… ahem..

ppl feeling hit by what i said:

there’s obviously a problem and as a ppl! why can’t we just fix it. like at least try.

side note:

there’s so many ways to get drama. also the smut after arguing piss me off this is off topic cause it applies to a lot of ppl who make fics but like damn. y’all ain’t gon talk it out. and it be the most weird arguments and stuff and you wanna squeeze lemons after that???

idk that annoys me like everyyyy time? and i think smut after arguments can be well written but ….

anyways the blk ff community to damn big for us to be sitting here starving acting like we don’t have food in the refrigerator to make something.

get it together yall. youn want what’s in the refrigerator go get your keys and buy something.

i’m tired of this shit that’s why so many blk writers stop writing or ppl stop reading because it’s too much going on all for some damn fake characters we wanna imagine ourselves with.

and i know for some ppl it’s abt the followers and all that which i mean to each is own i mean

sigh i was tryna be proper and cordial but i really want better for us but it’s so many ppl who go too far or do too little. and some are so sheep that they go with someone else’s opinion too. you know you tired of all the toxic fics say sumn. you know you tired of ppl constantly bringing up yn being ghetto for no reason (that shit piss me off so bad i can’t. they be so close but so farr) say sumn.

me after thinking someone finna bring up how unnecessary struggle love/toxic/extra smutty blk fics are but they end up just complaining abt yn using aave:

anyways i’m ranting. i wanted to say what i felt.

muah

[hellofastudysession]

am i rlly going to write a death note literary analysis when i could be doing other things

about the discourse going on in the tag abt "death note is acab and thats why the characters couldnt better the world with the note (/written in somewhat jokey matter)" vs "death note is trying to say we all have potential for evil, especially if you get a chance to insta-hurt ppl without repercussions, and it doesnt matter if youre a cop or not", i personally feel like it ignores the things that i like abt death note, which is "both of these things are true", and simultaneously "both of these things do not matter". the first part of this is dedicated to the first point, the latter to the last.

first point. i think its an important part of the message and themes (unintentional or not, and i lean on the former because... come on, can you really say the author intended you to not think of the cops as good people, at least compared to light and l) that light is a cops son, and that almost everyone who gets the death note is cop adjacent/thinks like a cop and is already corrupt/powerful when they get it (mello raised to think hed be just like l, yotsuba group is self explanatory; you cannot look me in the eyes and tell me teru "churchill" mikami, who was hand selected by light out of a bunch of rabid kira supporters, is a normal citizen). i appreciated the cop post bc its rlly important to not gloss over that aspect.

all of this would be an argument for "only someone like them would do something like this, and i am not like them, so im above them and immune to thinking about what id do with it", but... misa is the MOST important outlier in all of this bc her murders are solely selfish in nature and shes not doing any of this for "the greater good"!!! her nature of being an exception and still a very very bad person is really really important...

or it would be if death note gave a shit about her character at all!!! im not talking about her tragic side, im talking about exploring the ramifications of her killing people the way lights murders are (somewhat) explored. that would strengthen the message greatly! but shes dismissed and that weakens it overall. firstly, she's dismissed by the characters when l only sees her as a way to get to kira and basically shelves her the rest of the time. secondly, shes dismissed by the narrative when her character is gradually ground down to a stump and (not to sound perilously close to the bad takes ppl meme about) she never faces repercussions for her actions. every other character using the death note is treated relatively seriously, but misa just dies bc her love is dead. im not saying this isnt a... fitting punishment or that it isnt in character, but it doesnt fit snugly into the theme other people are talking about of "you reap what you sow" at all.

we do have something of an equivalent to misa's grayscale motives. surprise surprise, its light yagami. first is light's characterization in the musical (i will also note that misa never kills anyone in the musical). light's thinking is coplike, yes — he literally starts his first song by talking about "throw[ing] away the key" — but also, oddly enough, could be read as progressive and therefore sympathetic to tumblr ("let the corporations make the regulations / and hold no one accountable when everything gets wrong / let the rich and famous get away with murder / every time a high-priced mouthpiece starts to talk, his client gets to walk"). compare to the anime and manga, where his bigotry and pride and disgust come from a place of lukewarm dissatisfaction and boredom. the musical has much less time to play around with lights character, so it gives the audience something to immediately hook on. more on how that actually plays out later.

in the animanga, none of this is justified from the start. animanga light could say he was just killing people to make humanity way, way worse, and that wouldnt matter, because at the root of it, it was always his boredom that made him pick up the note. of course he actually believes in justice and believes hes doing the right thing (no, he believes he's doing the wrong thing, for the sake of the world... the right thing, because he is god...), but it was boredom at the start. all animanga light says about justice and righteousness and the law is a front in the end, bc he is exactly like l and misa — amoral. selfish. searching for entertainment. hedonistic. we know this. he kills naomi misora*. he kills lind l. turner. everything hes saying deserves to be dismissed from the beginning.

"but doesnt that mean you agree with the discourse post you wrote this post to argue against?" like i said, i agree with both of them! but i... still think its not right to reduce death note to the message of "the power to kill people is bad". because that is not exactly what the story is saying, even though that's literally its whole plot and therefore reaching that conclusion is self explanatory (lmao). let's look at the concept of mu. nothingness. "there's no heaven or hell". The Real Slay The Princess (Death Note Essay) Starts Here.

in light's final moments in the death note manga, while screaming about not wanting to die, he remembers that the first day they met, ryuk told light that "there's no heaven or hell. no matter what they do in life, all people go to the same place. all humans are equal in death". it is retroactively revealed that light knew this the whole time, operated under this knowledge for all the years we watched him — the knowledge that nothing he does is actually bad, that nothing any human does is actually bad, that shinigami are not "evil", that the universe does not care. that no one cares except humans. this oblivion absolutely terrifies him more than anything anyone could ever do to him. its what he thinks of before anything else as he flails there, screaming, dying. one could say everything he does after that day is him trying to escape that fact, or wrest control over it. but it doesnt work.

here are the lyrics of requiem, the musical's final song, sung over the bodies of l and musical light, a light who was at least somewhat good-intentioned at first: "sleep now, here among your choices / then fade away / hear how the world rejoices / shades of gray / gone who was right or wrong / who was weak or strong / nothing left to learn". this is the final message the death note musical and the manga chose to leave us with. there is no judgement. even after all that acknowledged hurt, after all the damage done, there is no judgement.

in the manga and anime alike, the world is just as fucked when light picks up the death note as when he dies. sure, we as readers can guess otherwise logically (and be optimistic, believing the world was never fucked regardless), but that's not what death note wants you to think. it ends with matsuda and another member of the task force noting how the world is worse again even though they killed kira (matsuda is clearly much worse for wear, but still determined), we see the shitty motorcycle band again, it ends with misa and a whole kira cult on a mountain even though kira died a long time ago...

its extremely important that light is never killed by any human or any aspect of the law. he is always killed by ryuk: a chaotic force completely detached from human sensibilities, one that does not care about good and evil. same with l; in the anime, manga, and musical, he is always killed by rems senseless, morally gray love (and you could argue in the kdrama that hes killed by love there too lol). justice is just a set dressing.

this is not just because death note is a tragedy, because good and evil can still matter in a tragedy. the theme of "nothingness" and "good and evil doesnt matter here" is also shown in a situation relatively unrelated to light winning or losing, or being good or bad. and its in fucking lawlight of all things. we all know ls not a good person. we know lights not a good person. this is tip of the iceberg death note knowledge. but the moment they start to interact, none of that starts to matter. textually, their relationship becomes more important than the people theyve killed and hurt. and the thing is? the thing is? THAT WORKS STORY-WISE. THAT'S ENTERTAINING. AND IT'S NEVER TEXTUALLY CALLED OUT IN A LASTING WAY. l and lights relationship, no matter how much i meme it, is genuinely important to the themes and "mu" because it makes it clear that despite all the pretensions, despite everything, this was never about good and evil. and it still works in the story. this is why death note is simultaneously a comedy — isn't the battle of good and evil supposed to matter more? well, fine, i'll keep watching this anyway. that suspension of disbelief comes crashing down the moment l dies, though, and a relationship built on nothingness (the "mu" sort, meaninglessness, not "character development" nothingness, theres plenty of character development) gives way to just nothingness (again, "mu", not light's post-l depression nothingness), forever.

(an aside: there is no one to root for in death note, and the only things to root for are either interesting character relationships, convoluted plots, or complete and total destruction: for everything to end so no more damage is done.)

not to say that death note does not encourage its readers to consider what damage they might do with the death note (obviously.), or that its characters never do. look at matsuda, a much easier heroic figure to latch on to than soichiro because of his unique place in the cast dynamic and because he's willing to consider both sides of the situation and kill light instantly for all he's done. its just that the story's own stance on the subject is... complicated by the existence of shinigami worldviews and by its own insistence that the world cannot change for the better.

also, this is not to say that this is executed well by the death note manga at all. it is a very strong tool, artistically, to establish and then violently remove any emotional connections between characters and make your story only about the exceedingly convoluted lengths characters go to to survive and catch each other so the reader can realize how ultimately pointless all of this is, but like... is that a good story choice if that's all you do? i would say not really. add in a good dollop of misogyny that destroys the second-to-last character who might actually be an interesting contrast to the rest of the cast's dull one-track focus on winning and justice, and youve got yourself a shitty story that... honestly still achieves what it went out to do, just not in a way id ever want to replicate.

anyway, back to the parts death note's actually trying to say. no matter what any human does in their life, no matter how they try to hurt or help the world, they all die in the end. hey, light, they all die in the end. once dead, they can never come back to life. and the seasons turn. and the world rejoices. and you say "goodbye"...

that's all.

no analysis of death notes overarching theme would be complete without nears final monologue, the definitive roast of light, the "you're just a murderer" speech: "what is right from wrong? what is good from evil? nobody can truly distinguish between them. even if there is a god." if we take this as talking about the actual god in the room (ryuk) as well as light, then near admits that humans will never be able to withstand these overwhelming forces and that, using justice and happiness and selfishness, they are just scrabbling to find meaning in things they ultimately have no control over.

but of course, near does not stop there. "[...] even then i'd stop and think for myself. i'd decide for myself whether his teachings are right and wrong." nears alright with not having control over everything, because near can still control nears own actions. these forces can and do exist, but they have no sway over nears own humanity — unlike light, who caved.

one of the creators of death note said they believe its message is "life is short, so everyone should do their best". the first time i learned this, i was like, thats... nice and optimistic, but an awful reading of the story! "life is short, so everyone should be desperate and striving like light yagami", who literally cut off other ppls lives for his own life? what character in death note are we supposed to strive towards when we "do our best"? they all do awful things with their lives! honestly, maybe they shouldnt have tried their best, if this is what their best is!

but with the view of "mu"... it makes a bit more sense. just a little. maybe.

there is no good and evil. there is only what humans think, and no matter what we do, we all die in the end. it is easy to be crushed and terrified by this in the same way light is, but what is more important than justice and righteousness and finding meaning is... doing your best. not being a person that hurts others too much. not letting yourself get swallowed up by an ideal. not going too far. and simultaneously, trusting yourself.

it leaves a few questions, though... was the currently dead l even a little bit right about his blatantly amoral approach, then? was there a point to this pain, and me slogging through this dumbass manga, and all the people that have lost their lives to a selfish teenage cop's son and the whims of everyone chasing after him? was there a point to any of this...?

the manga** never answers this. it stays clinically impartial until the very end. the musical is anything but clinically impartial (and i love it so much for that), and its ryuk that has the last word.

"there's no point at all."

of course theres no point. none of this was ever supposed to happen. that is what matters more than all the hurt and the crimes and the pain.

and that's... actually okay, because it's over now.

yes, death note has many really important themes present in its story, but its viewpoint is nihilism first and foremost. thats why its so fun and easy to play around with all the other messages, because no matter what fun or torment or awful things or righteous justice or absolute nothingness or sentimentality happens in between, there is always an end.

there is always the end.

[newwavesylviaplath]

more dumb music opinions!! this is long and ik most of u don't care but whatever this is my platform i will post how i see fit. also im not proofreading this at all its 1:26 in the morning and im literally falling asleep as im writing this so apologies in advance if this isn't the most well written or coherent post ive ever made

okay yall i fell down a rabbit hole of people on tiktok criticizing chappell roan and now im all worked up so here i am giving my opinions no one asked for;

so something i've been noticing a real influx of is people bringing up her hot to go performance at outside lands (a festival) where she says something along the lines of "vip thinks they're way too cool to do this.. you're not fun!" mfs have been getting online to talk about how chappell was being SO RUDE!!! and NOT EVERYONE KNOWS HER MUSIC WHO DOES SHE THINK SHE IS!!!! but like anyone with common sense who has seen the vid/heard the audio can tell she was being playful?? like come on now. i also saw someone post abt how she was being mean to jimmy fallon?? 😭 first off, while im not sure abt this one in particular late night shows are usually scripted and secondly im starting to believe more and more that these people have just never interacted with a drag queen before. chappell roan is a STAGE PERSONA and the majority of drag queens are characterized by having this larger than life attitude- take for example that one rupaul /jimmy fallon interview (u guys know which one) like idk i feel like it's very obvious that chappell is playing it up for the sake of entertainment, not cuz she genuinely believes she's above everyone else.

the other thing i've seen ppl whining about is how a) she doesn't wanna take a picture with fans, therefore she believes her shit doesn't stink and b) the two tiktoks she posted a day ago where she was voicing her struggles openly without policing her tone. first off, CELEBRITIES DONT OWE U PICTURES. don't get me wrong, taking a picture with a celeb u are a fan of can be a great experience and a fun story- but people are acting as if it is their god given right to get a photo with whoever they want whenever they want. "oh well she brought this on herself it's the price of being famous" are u stupid omfg acting like chappell signed a contract giving up her autonomy in order to get on the billboard charts. she quite literally did not choose this and even if she did that doesn't mean ur automatically entitled to a pic with her as if she's some kind of zoo animal like?? the two vids she posted to tiktok essentially telling ppl to leave her alone was met with backlash because she 'sounded rude' again im going to put this in perspective for everyone. her family is being stalked. she is being harassed both online and in real life. being upset because she comes off a little brash in a video where she is practically begging yall to stop with the harassment should be the least of your concerns. this is a twenty six year old who was virtually unknown six months ago- her meteoric rise to fame was not something she could have been prepped for in anyway possible. i feel like some people just aren't trying to wrap their heads around how insane the reality of this situation really is. the phrase "fifteen minutes of fame" used to be a lot more hyperbolic than it is now. i'm exhausted

[starrvlight]

should i make a web toon??

chat should I make a webtoon?? I already have some story written out, it's kinda lie sbg?? It's not like taken from SBG I promise 😭 but it's the same genre??and I have not ppl to edit my art / anyone to help out with the comic CONSIDERING IM A MINOR (13-15)??I also don't consider myself good a drawing:p But I'll tell u about it and lmk if I should try to make it a comic??:D

it's about these kids (12-13) I KNOW IT'S YOUNG BUT WHATS A LIL TRAUMA GONNA DO?? And like (I'm still figuring this out 😔(ok nvm I'm just going to copy and paste I have a 2 starts so far starts so far))

starter one: (2nd one I made + still working on)

They use walkie talkies the communicate *FIFI RUNNING THRU THE HALLS OF HER SCHOOL* Hey- I'm Fiona or fifi- whatever u wanna call me. For the past few months I've been having this recurring dream, or simalar to that.. Cut to fifi panting, crying and bleeding a lot from the side of she stomach, running in a hellish realm from a multiple runners going to some massive treehouse and she climbs a ladder and axel rolls up the ladder, and fifi pressing a button and collapse shaking

Cut back to Fifi, running into her class "your late miss Weech." Fifi looks up "sorry Mr mordini" she mumbles

starter 2: (og one)

Fifi was looking thru her dad's stuff and saw some "fun" looking horror game that was shoved way way way in the back1-2 (axel and fifi) people are playing a game, then the game glitches and the game like sucks them in.they were playing some horror game where you had necklaces/ bracelets/earrings rings that they found then they had some type of power (but didn't know||powers:, water,fire,air,earth,flying, manipulate gravity,super speed, instant healing, able to shield Able to manipulate blood, shrink/grow is size, teleport abe to see into the future by a.little bit, lightning yk?) and so they kinda just walked around for a bit and then saw something glowing..it was a crimson shade of red..like blood.. axel grabbed it and looked at it then hesitantly but it on, then continued walking it was really dare,, they came across this neighborhood/ghost town and a whole bunch of houses were like decaying and they walked in, hoping to find stuff,they ended up finding some water, a backpack and a couple flashlights +batteries.. and a ring that had a dark green gem..then l of a sudden they hear EXTREMELY loud screeching and they remember it from the game they the began to run out the house but screeching got louder and louder to they ran the opposite way, but there was no way out so they had to kill the creature (it's a black creature that's completely black and has like a really open mouth andna head that's tilted back, a massive eye on their chest and in the same pllace on their back, really tall massive claws, they r called runners/screechers, then there are other ones that can fly at really high speeds r called flyers) they didn't know how so they just ran and ran, until axel fel...Fifi pulled axel and help him up..but it was too late and the monster lunged at them then the crouchd and covered themselves, then hears some running and then a loud screach,. They looks up and say a trio, one has black, really curly hair, one has a bit with bleached hair and one with browns hair and some hair dye, the one with h dyed hair has black goop on her hand she shirt, then the one with curly blkack hair ran to them

And I drew both comics a bit both have I think 3 panels :p

AND SORRY FOR RANDOM NAMES IN IT I CAN POST THE CHARACTER INTRODUCTION STUFF IF U WANT MORE INFO

ANDDD ANOTHING THINK IM WITTEWLIWLY DRAWING IN IBISPAINT 🤨 LIKE??

[pumpkinsy0]

Do you have any headcannons for if Curly was FTM or how/if it would effect his relationship with Pony.

im gonna hold ur hand and give u a mix of both!!! mainnllyyyy just hcs for trans curly tho lmao

•i already feel like the shepards mom is pretty misogynistic and when she found out she was having girl twins she wasnt the happiest of campers at all. so when it comes to being a mamas girl, curlys not as close as he wouldve wanted to be. unlike cis curly, trans curly was just fighting a losing battle from day ONE, but trans curly still has that desperation for wanting to be seen BY his mom, thats a constant amongst all curly versions i fear

•ftm would b one hell of a change for him, its like a whole 180 and it wouldnt go unnoticed by his mom!! curly was under the impression that maybe his mom would like him better if he acted like a guy!! his mom valuing boys is what pushed curly to transition, hes tried acting like the perfect daughter being REALLY feminine but NEITHER of them was buying it, so he thought “what if i tried being like a son!!” doesnt have to be a GREAT son, just one regardless, thats what his mom always wanted after all

ps i feel like u could also twist this so curly finds out that hes a boy BC he decided maybe acting like a boy would get his mom to like him, it changed from him wanting to please his mom to him actually liking how it felt to be one and starting to do it for himself (spoiler alert, his mom wasnt the biggest of fan either way)

•angela knows what curlys doing, hes told her the plan and how he felt bc theyre very close and she doesnt exactly gaf that hes doing it, shes just worried hes gonna get hurt. at the end of the day ik angela was happy she got all of curlys girl clothes. nobody else knows that curlys doing so they keep buying him girl clothes that he hands off to angela, while tim buys curly his boy clothes from thrift shops, if anyone asks they just use the excuse that theyre broke and curly doesnt care what he wears and cant afford to be picky anyways

•when they move to america, curlys able to take more control of his identity than most. when it comes to government documents obviously its harder to lie but sometimes ppl just dont double check what curly or tim put in the paper so he just says he was born a boy. reason why he goes by curly is bc its a nickname to hide his “girl name”, curly is a pretty unisex nickname i think, its a way of tricking ppl so they say anything BUT his deadname and so he doesnt get targeted for being trans by using his new name (which only a feewwww ppl know). curlys new name is the name curlys mom was gonna give to tim, she had a list of names written down in her diary when she was pregnant w tim and curly found it

•curly would hateeeee getting artested for the additional reason that he would be going to a girls reformatory if he gets locked up, thats a one way ticket to dysphoria city AND getting outed/harassed he would love to avoid that at all cost. as a result trans curly tries being more slick when he breaks the law so he doesnt get locked up. if he was just going to a boys reformatory, he wouldnt care about getting locked up, however they have government documents that say curlys a girl, not much curly can do about that

•assuming we r arent going w modern day, im not saying pony wouldnt support curly he doesnt care WHAT the hell curly does, but i do think he doesnt have theeee most progressive ideals as ppl would probably headcanon. one of the biggest ones is that hes jealous that curly is seen as more manly than he is. in his mind hes thinking “how did a girl turn out to be stronger than me, like that”, its not ALL he thinks of curly but it is A thought regardless. is curly offended??? ehhhhhh a lil bit, he knows pony feels that way even if he doesnt know it show it, BUT hes more so smug about that than anything, ponyboy curtis???? jealous of him????? oh hes taking this W

•curly didnt tell pony he was trans right away but its not something he kept hidden for LONG, he told pony he was trans early on of them getting closer to each other. curly knows pony isnt dumb and wouldve found out eventually, best to be from him than anyone else

•is diy testosterone a thing??? ik its a thing for hrt but idk for testoserone, IF IT IS id like to imagine curlys making it w pony without anyone knowing and its a science experiment w tubes and flask😭😭realistically tho, curlys just eating foods that boost testosterone. it was ponys idea!!!

•like i said pony tries being supportive but his support can b rlly funny to curly, “how do you want me to ____” “like u normally would??? im not fragile pony”. be knows pony would never dare to be purposely transphobic, mostly bc he knows pony knows he would whoop his ass if he was❤️

•curly binds using bandages REALLY tightly and the only reason y he got better w them is bc pony knew some small history of corsets and was thinking “yea, that cant cant be good for u” so he tried offering safer ways to do it

[obrother1976]

can u make like. ur top 10 books. freak books. anything. kisses your brain

sure!! these r not gonna be ranked bc god knows i could never choose between them & also im gonna be annoying and ramble a bit about every one

death in venice by thomas mann (classic. but its so rich w metaphors and symbolism. if you do read it, i'd recommend reading "the uses of myth in death in venice" by isadore traschen afterwards, bc it does a great job explaining all the freudian allegories and mythological symbolism and u'll literally be tearing ur hair out afterwards over how brilliant thomas mann was)

the carnivorous lamb by agustín gómez-arcos (idc that i've already talked about this a gajillion times on here. its literally the best book i've ever read. i'll forever be obsessed and i wish there was literally anything that could ever hit as hard as this did. if u read it, anon (if u havent already) dont go through the carnivorous lamb tag on here bc u need to experience this without any big prior knowledge. trust me)

erotism: death and sensuality by george bataille (ik im just listing the classics atp. but how could i ever leave that one out. this ones a lot and depending on how into bataille & philosophy in general u are it could be too much. but if u havent already read this one anon, just read the introduction. trust me ure gonna loose it from that alone)

gemini by michel tournier (this one... took me ages to get through it on my first read bc of the way its written, but it was so worth it. not even gonna say much about this one - its basically like if twins by bari wood was good lmao)

incest: from a "journal of love": the unexpurgated diary of anais nin, 1932-1934 (or every anais nin diary ever in general, but this one especially. there was just no one that got it quite like she did)

indecent theology: theological perversions in sex, gender and politics by marcella althaus-reid (sorry for literally recommending theory. im pretty sure u were asking for fiction lol, but this (& althaus-reid in general) is everything to me. if u've any interest whatsoever in theology u should check this one out)

the sluts by dennis cooper (slightly controversial opinion i think? not that the book itself is controversial, just that dennis cooper is very hit and miss at times. this book tho, definite hit. its so intense and convoluted and i loved every second of it. read this before death and sensuality and u're guaranteed to think of nothing else for at least a month)

querelle of brest by jean genet ("those knock-out body fluids: blood, sperm, tears!". kind of a classic since theres also the fassbinder movie but i prefer the book tbh. its been a while since i've read it but it'll forever be in my favourites)

crash by j.g. ballard (yeah ik we've all seen crash but i need more ppl to read the book. hold on actually i need to insert one of my favourite bits from it here:

Reaching through the fractured windshields and passenger windows around me, I marked my semen on the oily instrument panels and binnacles, touching these wound areas at their most deformed points.)

ada, or ardor: a family chronicle by vladimir nabokov (one of the most beautiful books i've ever read. probably not the most helpful recommendation bc im pretty sure its a classic but i cant not mention it.)

also some bonus recommendations of books that didnt make the list bc they're either not freak books or bc i havent read them yet:

christopher and his kind by christopher isherwood (not a freak book. not even remotely. but will forever have a special place in my heart.)

the sparrow by maria doria russell (read this one anon!!! this would be on the list, but im not fully finished w it yet so i cant officially put it in my top 10 yet)

exquisite corpse by poppy z. brite (havent read that one yet but its on my list!!)

autobiography of red by anne carson (not a freak book. beautifully written, a work of art really)

as meat loves salt by maria mccann (havent read that one yet. hoping its as good as everyone says)

skagboys by irvine welsh (one thing about me is that i'll always find a way to mention the trainspotting books)