#also if you're getting hung up on the issue of “did it actually happen” you are fundamentally missing the point

[tenderlady]

using "they were both married with kids" as evidence that tinhat old man classic rock rpf yaoi can't have """actually happened""" is hysterical. like hell yeah, do you know the demographic most historically observant of norms of heterosexual monogamy? 20th century white male rock stars. they loved their wives and hated cheating. and were good dads also.

[chaethewriter]

You're dead to me [2]

dad!Jake Sully x human!daughter!reader

In which Jake Sully leaves his life on earth to settle down with the Omatikaya people as Toruk Makto. Having a family that consists of four kids with Neytiri, everything seems to work out just fine, but what if the past comes back for him? And his babygirl is right there in front of him?

warning: english isn't my first language, daddy issues, idk how one lives with zero gravity, barely proofread

Word count: 2,3k

previous chapter

next chapter

What actually took six years didn't feel like that to you at all. One moment you closed your eyes as you were put into cryosleep and after what felt like one second passed, you got woken up from your deep slumber. The claustrophobic space you are in makes something inside of you itch. Good thing you were into cryosleep, you couldn't have survived sleeping in this tube every night for six years in a row. Once your tube was pulled out of the wall, you immediately feel yourself floating. So this is what space felt like.

"Drink and eat lots, since you will feel very weak!", a loud voice echoes through the room as one by one everyone left their cryosleep. You float through the room with a smile on your face as you hold onto handles, lockers, anything to keep your balance. An excited scream could be heard from behind you, it was your friend Raja. "You are not dead I see," she jokes as she floats towards you, her arms wide open to invite you in a hug, "this is honestly insane, I can't believe that we are actually doing this!" You wrap your arms around you as you share her excitement, "I know right? We worked so hard for this, I can't believe this is happening." You met Raja on your first day being at the resistance base. She shared her passion for nature with pride and you always admired her for this. A cough is heard behind your back and Raja looks over your shoulder to see who it was, "Seb!" she squeals as she carefully gets out of your hug, floating towards their other friend to engulf him in a hug. You watch as Raja and Seb share their excitement with each other. They really didn't age at all while being in cryosleep, such an interestingly concept it was. You float towards them, holding onto Seb's shoulder to keep your balance and not pass out, because damn they were right. You feel so tired and weak. If you weren't in space right now you probably would have fallen to the floor. Your limbs felt like cooked noodles, you really needed to eat. "The trio is back at it again to cause havoc!!" Seb ruffles your head, your hair tangling in between his fingers as he did so. The three of you were the inseparable trio. While you had a group of friends you hung out with, you three always just stuck together like glue. It may have been the fact you bonded over being reckless warriors, thriving on the thrill and action, or the fact all three of you were top students, but that doesn't matter. Raja and Seb are your partners in crime til death do you all part. The two are engaged in a deep conversation, but you didn't bother to listen or chime in. You wanted to explore, and see what you worked your entire teenagehood for. Grabbing onto the handle against the walls, you made your way towards the huge window, were also most of the crew was floating around. You had to see this for yourself, you had to believe it with your own eyes. What if you were still dreaming?

"Excuse me, Pardon me!", still not used to not having any gravity, you keep bumping into other warriors. A 'watch where you're going!' was screamed your way, but you paid no mind to it as you had more important things to do. Floating past the last person that kept you from seeing outside, your eyes immediately widen at the beauty that lay in front of you. A planet, looking exactly like earth, right in front of you. It was beautiful, the true meaning behind mother nature. You bring your hand towards your cheek to pinch yourself, was this real? Were you truly experiencing this? When you pinched yourself so hard, leaving a red mark on your skin, and you didn't wake up you knew this was real. You were knocked out of your senses pretty quickly, as everyone was told to dress up, eat and get together in the common area. Where that was? No idea, but what you knew is that you were excited as hell. You basically swam through the air towards the lockers, where your supposed gear would be. The sight was probably incredibly silly, you thought, you probably looked like a swimming frog. Yet you didn't care about the stares that were given you. The only thing on your mind was to see Pandora with your own eyes— not out of books, notes you had to read, or drawings. You left without telling Seb or Raja, but you would probably find them, considering you're going to the same destination and those two definitely weren't to miss.

You float past all the lockers with nameplates, looking for your name. You were told that they were in alphabetic order. Last name. You could never escape him, could you? You proceed to float, using the lockers to pull yourself up and speed up towards the lockers that start with 'S'. Upon floating in front of the name that haunted you every day, you sigh and slam the locker open. Clothes sealed in recycled plastic, a pair of shoes, and an oxygen mask. Fortunately, it wasn't those old aquarium-like masks. When you learned about those you thought they were ugly as hell: a head in an aquarium. Those were designed like gas masks. Was that the best way to explain them? They only covered the mouth and nose part to breathe properly, it didn't cover the entire face anymore. You flash a skeptical expression towards the clothes in your arms. They were dark colors, dark colors in a hot amazon-like forest? If it were up to you, you wouldn't have chosen a little more, bare, clothes. For the sweat to at least dry up and not soak in the clothes. "Weird choice of clothes, right?", Raja appeared next to you, out of the blue, making you flinch. You quickly managed to cover it up and compose yourself, "I'm gonna end up looking like a crab while fighting a villain, kind of embarrassing." she laughs at your reply and grabs a hold of your forearm, "come on let's go change. Seb already went to change!" And with that, your friend pulls you with her. Changing your clothes was kind of awkward. The room was a big space where all women changed next to one another. It gave PE class vibes. You felt sticky and disgusting as you changed out of the clothes you wore for six years. Wearing fresh, clean clothes is always better than nothing. The material feels nice against your skin, and very cooling. As you look in the mirror, fixing every detail to look as neat as possible. You roll your sleeves up just a tad bit and tried to loosen the corset-like clothing piece around your upper body. It doesn't look exactly like a corset, but it's one of those clothing pieces that have a corset built into it. The mask is hanging against your hip, ready to be used 24/7 once you stepped foot on Pandora. The pants were a little wide thankfully, enough space to move into. "What is it with the corset though? Who wears a corset while fighting?" "Maybe it's bulletbroof or something?"

After this whole ordeal in the dressing room with some people whining about the clothes being too hot, while others were second guessing if the outfit was nice to fight in, you finally made your way towards this common area. There everyone was awkwardly sitting, what one could call sitting in space. Everyone was given a granola bar to snack on and a sealed bag with a sweet drink in it. You leaned against Seb, as you were too tired to use your strength to hold onto anything. Eating the bar and sipping from the overly-sweetened drink, you listened to the peptalk your superiors were giving you all. It was something about protecting Pandora, RDA and the forest Na'vi, but you really were too tired to listen. It was most likely the talk they did every time before you went into cryosleep. If you missed anything you could just ask Raja or Seb about it.

What almost felt like a decade to you, actually took just a few hours before you finally landed on Pandora. During the landing all, maybe twenty of you in total, were seated as you braced for impact. It wasn't too bad, it was like a plane landing. Before the doors opened, the duffel bags you took with you were placed on your laps. For your instance, the bag with the wrapped katana you got from your lieutenant was handed to you. You put your mask against your face, pressing it down and securing it as you breathe in the oxygen from the earth. Red lights flash through the area you're in with the others as the secured door lowers to the Pandorean ground, revealing the beauty of mother nature. You rise from your seat as your seat belt was already unclasped. Without waiting any longer, you rushed to the outside world in a heartbeat. Watching your surroundings, it seems like you landed on the resistance base. Unlike the RDA base, which you saw during your learning process, this one was more integrated with mother nature rather than destroying it to make space. It was so organic, so natural. A team was already waiting for your arrival, all standing in a row as you lock gazes with a Na'vi. Unlike the things you were taught about Na'vi clothing, this one was wearing human clothes. Could this be what one would call an avatar? The same situation your dad was also in? You start thinking he was your dad, but it didn't look like him at all. You knew avatars were supposed to look like their 'owners'. Even though it was supposed to be your dad's brother's avatar, they were twins. One would ask 'you don't know what your dad's avatar body looks like?', but honestly as you said many times you tried to pull away from the hauntings Jake Sully got you. The insecurities, and issues you got from his betrayal, his departure. It truly hit you like a truck. Questions would pop up like:

Were you enough?

Was there something wrong with you?

Why didn't he come back to you?

You couldn't take talking about your dad's new life. Selfish one may call it, then you were selfish in their eyes. You didn't care. Wanting your dad, is that selfish? Missing your dad, is that selfish? Angry because your dad wanted a new life without you, is that selfish? You yearned for him, yet despised talking about him. That's why you don't know what he looks like, what he is up to. You just know his history: put into the avatar body from his brother to follow military orders. From only caring about getting a paycheck to protecting the natives. He was crowned with the name Toruk Makto as you were taught. Mated to Neytiri te Tskaha Mo'at'Ite, daughter of the Olo'eyktan and Tsahik. When you first heard about this, you felt sick to your stomach. Reality hitting you even harder at age thirteen. It was already bad enough to know your dad left you, but also getting to know that he settled down while you spent your time waiting for him? You remember running out of the classroom when a superior taught you this information. This was also how you got in contact with Raja and Seb. They comforted you while everyone else thought of you as weird, weak. They were the first people, besides the superiors that came in contact with you, that came to know about your dad being Jake Sully, about the struggles you got after he left. Yet, they didn't laugh at what you thought was exaggerating. They listened carefully to your words as the tears rolled down your cheeks.

'We were attached to the hip, what went wrong?'

'Did I make him unhappy?'

'Was I too much for him?'

'Was he looking for something more rather than being a single dad?'

You spilled your insecurities to them and they never uttered a word about it to someone else. You will be forever grateful for them. You were so lost in thoughts, getting slightly emotional at all these thoughts about your dad, until a hand rested on your shoulder, "and last but not least, you must take her with you. She's our best warrior, Norm. She will need to stay on the battlefield, closest to the war." So Norm was his name. A pretty goofy one if you had to be honest. The avatar named Norm stood at least 10 feet tall as he looked down at you, literally. You just reached around his crotch area, which is kinda embarrassing because imagining running into his front. Hopefully, he likes to travel in his human body more. "Then that's settled, Oel Ngati Kameie." His hand rested against his forehead, slowly bringing it down to his chest. You flashed him a kind smile in return, ready for whatever adventure you will come across, "Oel Ngati Kameie."

But only if you knew.

.

.

"They have arrived, they will help us."

"They're sky demons! All the same!"

"I used to be one as well, yet I had a change of heart. Please accept the help they will offer us, for our people, for our family, our fortress." his hands grip hers, intertwining their fingers as he spoke to her in private, away from the children. He opened his mouth again, pressing his forehead against hers, "please, Ma Neytiri."

A/N: first of all, thank you all so much for the positive feedback. I honestly didn't expect it I'm gonna be fr😭 it gave me enough motivation to write part 2, so here it is, earlier than expected. I hope you enjoyed <3

also i hope no one noticed me accidentally posting the draft cause that was silly

Taglist (I couldn't find everyone):

@hoodiepandaninja16 @l0v3e1i @neteyamforlife @noname2246 @bunnyrose01 @littlelia007 @j0551 @navs-bhat @fyfy-world @hellok1ttycake @coterami @lwozy @erenjaegerwifee @n1ght5h4d3-24 @kahlowy @iloveavatar @farleyis @reguluscrystals @inomoikawa @bobojojoba69 @m3ll0n1xx @eternallyvenus @shyskybbb @imakms @keira7664 @alice121804 @aimsro @carollise @jjkclub @onlytays @wolfiealina @guska0 @yeosxxx @dakotali @destinylb @degenweeb @sunshinewwx @alohastitch0626

[inuyashaluver]

hey there! just wanted to say hello and i hope you're doing well. i'm the same person who asked earlier if the requests were open, u would make me very happy if you could take mine.

i have an idea, perhaps s(mut)omething with alessia...

after losing the final in the wwc (or any match they have lost, which so far is several 😫😫), lessi and reader can't stop arguing and blaming each other. the tension becomes so intense that unexpectedly, they stop fighting and start kissing. the next day, both act as if nothing happened, but this turns out to be even more annoying as they continue making unpleasant comments towards each other, ruining the team dynamic. however, the rest of the girls on the team have no idea of the true reason behind all this and they strive to make them talk and resolve their conflict.

blame game - alessia russo

alessia russo x reader

description: in which you and alessia have a complicated relationship, only becoming more complicated during a heated screaming match after a loss

warnings: cheeky little arguments, angsty, swearing, fake football stats!! little long

a/n: hiya, lovely! thank you for the request, hope you enjoyyy ❤️

⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆

you and alessia had an..interesting relationship in the beginning to say the least. you hated each other but also had an immense amount of love and respect for each other? it’s complicated and you both can’t explain it.

you and alessia coincidentally always ended up at the same clubs but you never really talked.

you got signed to arsenal first and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes when she got signed right after.

perfect alessia, with her perfect face, her perfect football skills, her perfect scoring. everything. alessia was perfect and it drove you fucking insane.

in alessia’s case, you made her blood boil. the perfect defender she couldn’t get past in training, you with your perfect muscles that flexed in all the right ways, you with your perfect face. you were perfect and she couldn’t stand you.

the issue was that you literally were never apart, no matter what, at arsenal, national team, you were always together. but what you and alessia didn’t realise was that your hatred was masked with true affection.

when alessia did end up at arsenal, she was different. she was lighter, a little more tolerable than usual and it was intriguing, but you chose to hate (admire) her from a distance. you had all the same friends, hung out in the same crowd and people found it interesting how the two of you weren’t best friends.

—

overtime, both of you began to view each other in a different light.

alessia was clumsy and everyone knew it, even you. so one day, she was walking along with victoria to training while you walked behind with lotte. alessia was laughing brightly and it honestly gave you a funny feeling in your stomach.

victoria pushes her and the blonde stumbles, about to fall to her ass but you caught her instantly. you held her by the waist and helped her to stand upright, you could feel her body tense in your hold.

she turns to face you and is surprised you were the one who actually caught her, “thanks” she says quietly, you give her a curt nod and clear your throat, moving past her and leaving three curious eyes watching as you leave to talk to beth.

it was one of the first instances where you had alessia pink cheeked and stuttering.

—

you were all in the change room getting prepared for an upcoming game with arsenal. you hear alessia grumbling from two cubbies over about something. you’d ask her what’s wrong but lotte beat her to it.

“i forgot my shin pads” alessia whines, her head thrown back in frustration. “and you don’t have any spare?” lotte laughs, alessia throws her a glare and flips her off, going through her bag in hopes of finding them. lotte goes to her cubby to lace up her boots after teasing alessia.

you knew you and alessia wore the same type of shin pads, so when you were putting yours in your socks, you remembered the spare you had in your bag.

you wordlessly take them out and walk over to lotte, putting them in her hands and subtly nodding to alessia. lotte and the england girls knew you had a really weird relationship, you liked each other but didn’t, it was confusing not only for the two of you but everyone around you.

lotte looks at you in slight surprise but nods at you, a silent agreement that they wouldn’t be from you. but as soon as you returned to your cubby and lotte gave alessia the shin pads, alessia glanced at you almost immediately.

“thank you, lotte!” alessia smiles, they were a specific type of shin pads that only you and alessia wore, who else would it be?

you kept your head down the whole time and continued getting ready, missing the looks alessia had been giving you from the other side of the room.

during half time, arsenal was up 2-0 and you were both playing extremely well. you walk over breathless towards the other girls who were getting water, when you went to look for yours, alessia held it out to you experimentally, you look at her in slight shock, you felt your hands get clammy from the pretty blonde doing something so simple.

“thank you” you breathe out, “you’re playing well” alessia blurts out, her cheeks were flushed, she must be exhausted from the match. “thanks, you as well” you give her a tight lipped smile, she looks down in embarrassment and you analyse her. she looked beautiful. snap out of it, you thought.

—

it was the UEFA women’s nation’s league matches and you and alessia were both playing for england. so far you’d been winning all matches until it got to the forth match against belgium.

today was an off day for you, alessia has been clouding your mind more than usual. she kept doing little acts of service for you and it was making you insane.

belgium had scored first and it was increasing the pressure for the whole team. you were defending your ass off, stopping every opportunity you could. alessia had managed to even it out and when you gathered to celebrate, you gave her a little nod with a clap on the back.

her cheeks were pink and yours were too. everything was fine until they got the second goal. the player you were marking confused you and you ran right instead of left. you sprint to get back on your player but she shot from a distance and it just slipped past mary’s fingers.

you curse under your breath, receiving a glare from mary that you expected and you held your hand up to her in apology. she yells some words of encouragement to you and you try to focus, but a certain blonde looked at you in disappointment and it made your head all fuzzy. alessia was a distraction.

when the half time whistle went, you stormed off, angry at yourself. “what the fuck was that?” alessia storms in after you, grabbing your arm to turn you around and you do, but you rip your arm from her her grasp and look at her angrily.

“russo, stop, i fucking know!” you exclaim, glaring at her and moving to sit in your cubby with the angriest expression she’s ever seen you have in her life.

“it’s just not like you, it was sloppy-” alessia mumbles and you unfortunately heard it. you get up and move over to her, standing chest to chest and looking at each other dead in the eye. jaws clenched, eyes angry, body heat radiating in waves.

“listen here, star girl, i made a fucking mistake, we’re not all perfect like you and never make mistakes so i’m begging you, russo, shut the fuck up” you grit out, your breath fanning her lips had alessia going insane. if she moved just an inch, you’d be kissing.

the other girls start to walk in and you separate, immediately getting pulled by mary and getting scolded like no tomorrow. you were never sloppy and everyone knew that.

you shake it off and the match continues, beth had managed to even out the score and you let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding.

you all work hard to get that third goal to win but it’s just not happening. you defend with everything you have, stopping numerous chances from the other team. unfortunately, lucy had made a mistake this time and belgium got another goal.

when the final whistle blew, you fell to the ground, you were furious. 3-2 was the score and it tantalised you when you glanced at the big screen. you weren’t a bad sportsman so you congratulate everyone.

when you and your team did your handshakes, you and alessia avoided each other like the plague. the team stays out while you walk to the change room, you just didn’t want to be out there right now. alessia was hot on your trail.

once you plop down in your cubby, alessia stands in front of you with her arms crossed.

“what’s wrong with you?” she asks simply, you look up at her and laugh in disbelief. “go ahead, russo, take out all your anger on me” your laughter turned into a scowl.

“well first off, why were you so sloppy, don’t you care?” alessia rambles, she didn’t mean any of it and you both knew that. she was angry and so were you.

“what about you, huh? couldn’t get another goal, aren’t you supposed to be scoring left, right and centre, star girl?” you taunt, looking up to see her reaction and surely enough, her jaw was clenched.

“yeah, maybe, but what about that third goal, huh? why didn’t you help lucy? it was partly your fault” she scoffs, “i was nowhere near her!” you exclaimed, standing up and crossing your own arms over your chest to glare at her.

“you’re better than that, (y/n), come on what’s bothering you?” she questions, taking a little step closer towards you, “nothing is bothering me” you grumble and she shakes her head instantly,

“i’ve known you for fucking 15 years so cut the bullshit, what’s wrong with you?” she tries again, “you’re what’s wrong with me, you’re driving me fucking insane!” you exclaim, she stares at you in shock.

her breath hitches as she sees your cheeks going slightly pink, she doesn’t know how she has the confidence but she grabs your face in both of her hands and smashes her lips on yours.

you freeze for a moment but kiss her back, you pull her closer by her waist and you both hum into each other's mouth. she leans into you and prompts you to press you against her.

your mouths are moving completely synchronised before you both add your tongues. she whines into your mouth when your teeth gently graze her bottom lip before she rips herself from you.

you look at her surprised, both of you breathing heavily as she moves away from you. her face is full of confusion, everything is so overwhelming at this moment. she looks at you conflicted for a second and runs out the door, leaving you there slightly hurt standing there alone. “less-” you call out to her but she was already gone.

you looked like a kicked puppy when everyone entered the change rooms but everyone thought you were just disappointed with the result, and you were, but you were more disappointed that the girl you liked clearly wanted nothing to do with you.

—

alessia couldn’t look at you. she felt awful. everything was just piling on top of her and it was all too much. she knew she liked you, she always has and now that you potentially liked her? she was driving herself mad with all the lingering thoughts. so much that sunshine, happy alessia has taken a page out of your book and was a little grumpy at training this morning.

you both looked furious and it wasn’t hard for everyone to put two and two together. you wouldn’t stand near each other, you’d attempt to look at her and she’d completely ignore you.

she made an effort to steer clear of you and it made you feel sick. you barely had any sleep, replaying the kiss over and over in your head. as well as replaying alessia walking out on you like you were nothing.

you were placed on opposite teams for training, and of course, you had to mark alessia. everyone noticed your hesitation with marking the girl, you wouldn’t tackle like you usually do. you let her get away with easy stuff so much that leah had to pull you aside and ask what was wrong. after about 5 minutes of you assuring her that you were okay, she let you go but kept a close eye the entire time.

and during the time of her watching, she noticed the way you’d nervously look at alessia. she also noticed the way alessia genuinely could not look at you.

after a few more missed tackles, everyone’s telling you to shake it off and you just can’t. “fuck, i know! i’m sorry” you groan after alessia scored around you. that’s when leah had it.

“right, less, (y/n/n) follow me” she says sternly, you take a deep breath and follow her, alessia follows from a far distance.

leah takes you both to the training room and makes you sit next to each other in front of her. “i’m not dealing with both of you acting like children, you’re sitting in here and sorting it out” she huffs, “don’t you dare try to come out until it’s fully resolved” you both nod at her and she nods back, leaving the two of you to talk while she closes the door behind her.

it was painfully silent as you both sat in the change room, your scowl was evident. as much as you loved the girl next to you, she left without any explanation yesterday and it hurt.

alessia adjusts her position as she sits, accidentally knocking your knee with hers. her touch burned your skin, her cheeks went bright pink. “sorry” she mumbles, moving a little further from you.

“you’re grumpy” you point out, the blonde breathes out a laugh and glances at you quickly, “mhm, i’ve been around you too much” she jokes, the corners of your lips lifted up slightly.

“listen, less, we can just forget about everything and go back to hating each other, i don’t care” you exhale, you do care and that’s the problem. alessia tenses at your words, you never call her anything other than ‘russo’, only using ‘alessia’ if it was really necessary.

“i don’t hate you” she says softly, fiddling with her hands in her lap, she’s avoiding eye contact and it’s killing you. you look over at her with raised eyebrows, “huh?” you say almost dumbly, feeling stupid about this whole situation already.

“i don’t hate you, (y/n), not at all” she breathes out, her voice is so quiet you almost can’t hear it.

“why did you run from me yesterday?” you ask cautiously, moving on the bench slightly closer to her. she clears her throat nervously, eyes still trained on her lap,

“i just-” she chokes out, looking up at the ceiling for a brief second before looking back down. “i got overwhelmed, with the game, with the kiss, with you” she swallows, she leans forward and puts her head in her hands.

you look at her worried, placing a gentle hand on her back that had her insides burning. “i’m sorry” you quip and she looks at you quickly, “no, don’t be sorry, you’ve done nothing wrong, it’s me” she rambles, grabbing your hand that was resting in your leg.

“(y/n), i’m so sorry i walked out on you yesterday” she says earnestly, she watches as your gaze softens, she’s never seen you like this.

“it’s okay-” you run your hand over her back and she interrupts you quickly, “no, it’s not okay, i was rude, and i’m really sorry” she frowns at you, you smile at her reassuringly,

“lessi, it’s okay, really, i do wanna say sorry for how i spoke to you yesterday, i was rude and i didn’t mean any of it, i was just pissed with the loss” you ramble, alessia smiles and nods at you, “it’s okay” she shrugs, her bright smile makes your cheek twinge pink.

“so, is everything normal?” you mock leah’s accent and alessia laughs, this is a new side of you that she’s never seen before and she can’t get enough of it. looks like the big, grumpy defender has met her match.

“of course” she smiles, you’re still holding hands and both of you were unwilling to let go. “alright, and i’m assuming the kiss is behind us?” you question, alessia furrows her eyebrows as she looks at you.

“no, let’s talk about it” she says sheepishly, you look at her with raised eyebrows. “o-okay” you stutter, you move your body to face her more and she copies you, both of you are now facing each other with one hand holding each other.

“were you okay with it?” you cautioned, alessia beams at you before nodding, “yeah, it was nice” she grins, “were you okay with it?” she mocks teasingly, you smile and nod at her, “it was nice” you tease, making the blonde giggle.

“do you want to do it again?” alessia suggests, making your eyes widen. “who knew you were this forward, russo” you gasp exaggeratedly, she laughs at you. “hm, it’s new” she shrugs, you smile back at her and glance between her eyes and her lips.

you close the gap and kiss her sweetly, it’s much more gentle than yesterday’s kiss, this one was a confirmation of feelings, assurance. it made you both giddy and excited.

you pull away from her and she chases your lips, kissing you for a bit longer before pulling away and giving you a satisfied smile.

“i’m in love with you” you blurt out, surprising yourself completely, this girl had you wrapped around her finger.

you both look at each other in shock before she breaks out into a bright grin, “i’m in love with you too” she looks at you with so much affection, you could feel yourself melting in a puddle.

you both smile at each other before you pull her forward for another kiss. she smiles into you and you tug her into your lap, she straddles you and kisses you sweetly.

you hum into her and pull her closer. you pull away from her slightly, “you’re perfect” you say against her lips, she pecks your lips with a gentle smile, “you’re perfect” she parrots, moving to kiss you again.

you both walk out of the room with shy smiles and kiss swollen lips. she wraps her hand around your arm and holds you close to her. you’re both smiling so brightly that it had leah completely satisfied. she knew you both needed a little push.

a complete shift, both of you can’t keep your hands off each other, stealing glances, giggling and whispering, the whole team was shocked.

“i thought you two hated each other?” ella teases, “we do” you mock, pulling alessia to your chest and kissing her cheeks repeatedly, ella screams and covers her eyes while you and alessia grin brightly.

alessia looks at you with so much love, kissing your lips sweetly before chasing ella. that’s when a smug leah slings her arm over your shoulder.

“just saying, i knew you liked her all along” leah sings out, you laugh and nod, “alright, lee” you smile. alessia from a distance waves at you enthusiastically and you wink at her, waving back. she smiles brightly and goofs off with ella.

—

you both ended up moving in together, alessia had fully taken you out of your shell. you both made each other so happy, everyone could see how much you loved each other.

it took a while for everyone to get used to you being all lovey dovey with each other but once they see how you act and behave together, it’s incredibly endearing.

you both shine brightly with each other and it shows, you’re quite thankful for that loss to belgium, not that you’d ever tell that to anyone. well..alessia knows. alessia knows everything.

⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆

you know the drill - just pretend it’s you! ily millsy

liked by ellatoone and 44,232 others

alessiarusso99: my grumpy girl

view all comments

yourname: my happy girl

leahwilliamsonn: she doesn’t look grumpy at all, mate

↳ alessiarusso99: yeah, because i’m there

↳ yourname: so true

↳ leahwilliamsonn: what the fuck did you do to her?

↳ alessiarusso99: gave her a little kiss and she’s happy chappy

↳ yourname: very happy chappy

[luizd3ad]

When in Doubt, Blame Damian | Jason x Reader

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ࣪˖⤷ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ ࣪ ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ˖ ⤷

Pairing: Jason Todd x GN! Reader

WC: 928

CW: Swearing, over thinking. It’s mostly kinda fluffy. No use of Y/N.

Author's Note: I got this idea while giving my dog a bath sooo here you go idk lol hope you like it🖤

Summary: You get a dog!! … but you didn’t tell Jason.

Not my picture

▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀

You blamed Damian.

You normally blame Damian for a lot. More than you're willing to admit, sometimes for stuff he wasn't even involved in.

But this time you think it's actually his fault.

How could you not blame him? If he hadn't asked for a ride to the pet store. If he didn't insist that Titus absolutely needed a new friend. If he never put that little puppy in your arms basically forcing you to fall in love with the little baby that was giving you kisses, then you wouldn't be here right now.

You wouldn't be in yours and your boyfriend's apartment trying to figure out how to tell said boyfriend that you guys now had a dog. 

Would Jason be mad? Honestly? You didn't know. The topic of getting a dog or a cat has came up a few times.

He would usually say things like ‘Maybe’ or ‘Now's just probably not a good time’ it was never a definite yes or no.

So maybe it wouldn't be that bad, you thought to yourself trying to give yourself some confidence. 

I mean it was your apartment too. You contributed. And it would feel nice to have something to keep you company while Jason was on patrol or had to go somewhere for a while.

You'd hyped yourself up at this point you had some good arguments lined up for why it was a good idea.

You felt confident about your choice, especially when you looked down at the little puppy sleeping peacefully in his bed that was in your shared bedroom. You got this, you told yourself and you really believed that. You genuinely did.

That was until you heard the front door unlock. 

You rush out the room, closing the door softly trying not to wake up the puppy. 

You walked into the living room to greet Jason who was out all morning and most of the afternoon training with Dick, Cass and Duke. 

“Hey Jay.” You say giving him a soft kiss.

“Hi my love. How was your day?”

Jason says, giving you a tight hug, holding you for a moment. 

“Umm it was you know. It was fine. Hung out with Dames. Nothing crazy you know? How about you?”

You rambled pulling away from Jason trying not to sound suspicious while walking to the couch in the living room. 

Jason gives you a questioning look but ends up just dropping it and following you to the couch.

“It was fine. Just the normal shit. I missed you though.”

Jay pulls you into him while giving you a kiss on your head. You feel kinda guilty at this point.

You don't like keeping things from Jason. He has a lot of trust issues so it was important that you guys had a lot of honesty and communication in your relationship. 

You pull away from Jason and look at him, giving him a slightly guilty look.

“Jay, I have something to tell you. Don't be mad.”

“Did something happen when you were out with the Demon Spawn? Did he do something? What did he say? I'm gonna kick that little brats ass.”

Jason runs his hand through his hair already mad at Damian for whatever Jason thinks he did. 

“Jay calm down Dames didn't technically do anything. I did something, and before you get mad-”

You were interrupted when you heard a puppy bark and a slight clawing sound at the bedroom door and judging by Jasons face he also heard it. 

“What was that?”

“What was what?”

You give a little chuckle, now trying to play it off. Hoping that this isn't how Jason finds out but knowing that it is. 

“Babe Is there a dog here?”

“Um technically..? Yes?”

Jason sighs and gets up to the bedroom and opens the door letting the dog run up to you as he tries to climb up on you. You pick him up, putting him on your lap while he starts playing with your hand. 

“Babe, who’s dog is that?”

“Umm… Ours?”

“When did we get a dog?”

Jason says wide eyed and raises his eyebrows at you.

“It's all Damian's fault! He told me how lonely Titus gets sometimes and I felt bad and just look at how cute he is!”

You try to explain picking the dog up so Jason can look at him.

 “Don't be mad jay..”

You say putting the puppy on the floor so he can run around a little all while you look extremely guilty.

“Mad? Why would I be mad? Wait baby, is this what you were trying to tell me?”

Jason says sitting next to you on the couch while looking at you concerned. 

“Yes… I felt bad making a choice like that without you and I know how you don't like it when people hide stuff from you and I just don't want to make you mad.”

“Baby, I'm not mad. I'm not thrilled that you got a dog without me, especially because it was with the Demon Spawn. But I'm not mad.”

Jason says pulling you into him kissing the top of your head.

“You're not mad? Really?”

“I can't be mad at you baby. You mean everything to me.”

Jason says while the puppy runs up to you guys laying down at your feet.

“I'm still sorry Jay.”

“I know you are, baby. It's okay, promise. Now what's this little guy's name?”

Jason says picking up the puppy and looking at his face while you smile at them.

Maybe you shouldn't blame Damian… this time.

▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀

[king-zacharyy]

IF YOU HATE HELLUVA BOSS, HAZBIN HOTEL, AND/OR STOLITZ, DO. NOT. INTERACT. (WITH THIS POST OR MY PAGE)

Okay, I am currently rewatching Helluva Boss, and I just finished S1 Ep7: OZZIE'S, and... How do some people genuinely believe Stolitz is one-sided?

From what I've seen, Blitzø absolutely returns Stolas' feelings, even if he refuses to acknowledge/accept that he does. A lot of people, from what I've seen, have been using Blitzø' words to Stolas in OZZIE'S and his words about Stolas to Fizzarolli in OOPS as arguments for why Blitzø "clearly" doesn't love Stolas back, but my question is, do some of y'all not have basic media literacy?

Sorry if that’s rude, but seriously. There are plenty of clues to how Blitzø is actually feeling during and after these scenes.

1. Blitzø was literally holding back TEARS as he said that in the van scene.

2. He says that Stolas has made it very clear that all it is is Stolas wanting to be fucked. That wording is very distinct and, honestly, says that Blitzø does NOT want it to just be a Fuck Buddies things.

2.5. May I remind everyone that Stolas literally calls Blitzø his "Impish little plaything" in Truth Seekers? And that that likely just confirmed the insecurities we know he was already feeling? (We know he was feeling insecure about his and Stolas' relationship already because of how he reacted in S1 Ep5 to Striker goading him)

3. Literally ALL of what happens after the van scene. Including all of Episode 8. He goes home and cries himself to sleep, and then goes and self-destructs at a party. Bee said it herself that he wasn't drinking to have fun.

4. In S2 Ep6: OOPS, His face when he said it was nothing more than Stolas being horny gives away how hurt he actually is. He is desperately trying to convince Fizz and remind himself that Stolas doesn't want anything more.

Honorary mention that I'm not sure is really a fifth point is him calling Fizz and Ozzie hypocrites.

Moving on from those scenes and onto Blitzø's insecurities about love and his self-worth issues. Blitzø does not believe he deserves love. He does not believe anyone does or can love him. We can see this in how he acts with the people in his life. He pushes them away. He is obsessed with M&M's relationship because they're the only model of a healthy relationship he's ever had, and he wants that with someone. We also can tell because of how he reacts to what Fizz and Verosika say in OZZIE'S.

Blitzø hates himself. He crosses out his face in the pictures hung up in his apartment. He blames himself for an accident that caused his mother's death, his best friend to lose his limbs, and his sister to hate him.

No one was truly there for him after the accident. Fizz may have been crippled, but he had a support system. Blitzø did not, and no one was there to tell him it wasn't his fault.

Not to mention the fact that up until the accident, he was CONSTANTLY being put down and told Fizzarolli was better than him. Even his own father cared more for Fizz than him. Honestly, I'm surprised there isn't any actual animosity towards Fizz on Blitzø's part.

Speaking of the fire and Fizz, Blitzø was planning to confess romantic feelings to Fizz that night before the accident (We know this because of the letter and flower he was holding before the fire started). That likely made it difficult for him to confess his love to someone because if you think his brain wouldn't connect love confessions to the greatest trauma of his life, you're dead wrong.

Brains make weird ass connections when it comes to trauma/traumatic events.

In conclusion, Blitzø loves Stolas, Stolas loves Blitzø, and they both need to heal and get their shit together. Stolitz forever.

Kloveyoubye ❤️

[notgilderoylockhart]

The Wolfkiller Cloak

So I have this thing where sometimes I see something on screen and my brain just short-circuits. It scratches my brain just right, I need to have this, I need to make this. And that’s what happened in nearly every episode of Interview with the Vampire, but especially in season 2 episode 3 “No Pain”. 

This cloak has seared itself into my brain. The soft shine, the drape, the movement of the fabric (as Lestat is dragged across the floor and smashed against the wall) had bewitched me, body and mind. So I went out researching and decided to make one for myself, based on this pattern for a hooded cloak.

The fabric I used was stretchy velvet (for budget reasons, 6m) and a black lining fabric with a small diamond print (for fun, 4m). The pattern I used doesn't include a lining and I did think about leaving it out but in the behind the scenes footage (and when Armand smashes him against the wall, thank you for that) you could clearly see that there clearly is a dark lining on the inside of the cloak and my brain decided leaving it out just wasn't an option. So I just cut out the front and back piece twice, one velvet and one lining.

It might be 35°C and sunny outside, but you gotta press those seams. At least for the lining fabric. Then we can pin the lining to the the velvet, sew them together at the collar and start hemming the sides. Be warned. It's a lot of fabric, so you're gonna need a lot of space. I would also recommend (if you're using a stretchy fabric like me) to pin and, if you're able, even sew the hems while it's hanging on a hanger. Yes, I handstitched the sides and bottom hem. Ever since I started looking into historical reconstructions, I have kind of fallen in love with the lack of visible seams. Not to mention that hand stitching has also become something of a favorite pastime of mine while rewatching IWTV.

Now I shortened it, which was quite hard to do simply because it's so much fabric and I don't have a mannequin. So I hung it up, pinned where I wanted to cut it, tried it on, took a video, so I could see the where the cut would be and went from there. Took me a few tries, but I'm quite happy with how it turned out.

Now that that's done, we can attach the shorter layer and the hood. My biggest issue was finding some fur, but lucky for me, I was cat-sitting for my downstairs neighbor who has been working as a theater seamstress for 40 year and who was out of town for the weekend, visiting her son who, unbeknownst to me, also worked for a big theater company. And both of them had made it their personal mission to find me some faux fur. And they did. This incredible faux fur was everything I wanted it to be. A wolf-gray with a red shimmer and some darker spots. I was over the moon.

And it was totally worth coughing up hairballs for the rest of the evening. In the original pattern there actually is a hood lining, but I just replaced that with the fur. I would absolutely recommend stitching the fur and the hood together, as the pattern instructions say. Do as I say, not as I do.

The other issue I had was the fur on the hood. I had ordered a faux fur hood attachment for a winter jacket, but the look and the feel just wasn't the same. So I went on ebay, as I so often do late at night, and kind of hit the jackpot. A fox fur stole, not one person bidding on it, 3 days left to go. Yup, I got it. 30 bucks plus shipping.

I mean, come on. What a difference.

The last issue, the final problem so to speak, was the fact that there was a big border of velvet on the inside of the cloak. Now I tried attaching a long piece of velvet fabric, but it just wouldn't sit right and after the 3rd time attaching and reattaching and getting increasingly frustrated I simply took the easy way out. I cut out a triangular piece of velvet and attached it right where the cloak would open. Sue me.

And there you have it.

And because it's summer rn and I don't have the energy to head outside at night to take some actual pics, I decided to whip something up in photoshop.

[queerheadcanoncentral]

hi hi! hope you're doing good :)

im a sucker for angst and wilson, so could you please write some hcs for him? could include anything from bad childhood memories, mental health issues etc! thanks you sm if you do it :))

James Wilson angst headcanons

Cw: bullying, homophobia, the f-slur, self-harm, alcohol, pills, suicidal thoughts and attempts, depression, self image issues, it's all angst.

—⁠☆—⁠☆—⁠☆—⁠☆—⁠☆—⁠☆—⁠☆—⁠☆—⁠☆—⁠☆—⁠☆—⁠☆—

He was a bit feminine in his behaviour as a child and got relentlessly bullied for it until he graduated from highschool. It was both physical and psychological. He got beat up, spat at, humiliated and called names. He never stood up for himself and is regretting it to this day.

One time on a middle school camping trip he got pulled out form his cabin by the other boys and dragged outside. Some of the boys were holding his arms behind him, some were putting lipstick on his lips, cheeks, eyelids and wrote "faggot" on his forehead, some were stripping him down and putting women's underwear and a bra on him. They tied his wrists above his head and hung him by them from a tree branch. While it was happening, some of the boys went to get girls from their cabins, so by the time he was put up on a tree, everyone was laughing at him. It took a few the worst minutes of his life for the teachers to wake up and help him get down. When teachers tried to discover who did this to him, none of his classmates said anything and neither did he.

He is so overwhelmed all the fucking time. The constant pressure of taking care of his patients while taking care of House and by extend, his patients, is killing him.

Most of the days he just fells numb.

He gets dressed, brushes his teeth, puts on a smile for everyone else and goes to work, works, eats lunch, works some more, goes home eats dinner by himself, goes to sleep. rinse and repeat. that's what he considers a good day.

His empathy is killing him. Not only does he have to care all the time about everyone, but he also has to care in place of everyone else because why does it seem like no one else actually cares they say that they do but they don't because of they did no one would be alone no one would have to die alone like his patients like so many people around the world and like him.

Nobody cares about him like he cares about other people and it is killing him.

He drinks wine every night. Wine or whiskey or scotch. People usually don't mind when you drink a glass of wine with dinner…or five; they just think to themselves “it's just wine, it's classy, it's french” - but when you do it everyday, it's a problem.

He has attempted at least twice, one of which was after Amber died. The night he and House met he was gonna attempt but while he was in jail he was glad that he had no way of carrying through on his plan. That may be part of the reason why he is still friends with House, he feels like he owes his life to him and he hates him for it sometimes.

His go-to are pills and alcohol, maybe because it leaves a bigger chance that he will wake up the next morning, which sucks but oh well-

He feels like a fraud. He has built this image of himself of a man who likes everyone, always gives a shit, and who will be there no matter the time of day or if he has something going on himself. But often that is not who he is in his thoughts. In his thoughts he catches himself being bitter and toxic and he feels horrible about it; he completely disregards all the times that he is kind and genuinely cares and the fact that it doesn't really matter what you think as long as you don't say it out loud and your actions are good.

attachment issues.

He has a tendency to take on others problems as his own as if him carrying the burden of their issues will take them off of others.

He isn't good with loss. You would think that after three divorces he would get a hang of it, but he hasn't. Every time he loses someone, wether they just left or passed away, it hits him like a ton of bricks and sends him down a spiral of guilt and booze. He wonders why? What he could have done differently? Why are they doing this to him?; every time it feels like someone is ripping his heart out of his chest with hands lined with barbed wire.

That's why he cuts himself. Usually on his thighs or upper arms so that he can still roll up his sleeves at work without anyone seeing the scars. Even during his lowest lows he still thinks about others. He still comes into work the next day even tho he has a raging hangover and is covered in band-aids and bandages. He still smiles at others and says his hellos on his way to his office.

[drkmgs]

Tyler's Sibling

Wednesday Addams x Reader Galpin

Story type: multiple chapters

Warning: Sibling issue, scar arm, trauma, paint blood...

I know it's been a while... I'm sorry...

previous chapter

After you lost consciousness at the Weathervane, your father strictly advised you to stay home and not to go to work. You have been resting in your room, thinking about what happened three weeks ago. You had a Zoom meeting with your doctor discussing nonsense theories as to what and why it happened. It was clear that these professionals also don't have the answers.

It would be nice if you had at least one friend, but who would befriend you? You were too normal for an outcast and too weird for a normie. Your brother doesn't care about you. He has his own demons and problems to solve. Your father is far too busy, and if he was home, him and Tyler would just bite each other's heads off.

You sighed as you sat up on your bed and looked out the window. You got startled when a hand knocked on your window. Hesitantly, you opened it and let the hand enter. He signed you a thank you and continued with how different your reaction was compared to your brother. You learned that the hand's name is Thing, and he is one of the Addams.

You talked to him like a person, which Thing actually appreciated. You and Thing were so immersed with your conversation that it was almost time for him to go, and Thing had to return to Nevermore. You let him out the window and asked him if he could come back to keep you company. He did a little nod and crawled away.

Not long after, you saw a figure sneaking around the house. You got up, exited your room, and made your way downstairs. You jumped a little when you hear the back door rattle. You slowly made your way to the door, grabbing a pan on the way. You were ready to hit the intruder when you realized it was just your brother. Sneaking back inside the house.

"Woah! Woah!" He said and took the pan out of your hand. "Where were you, and why are you sneaking into the house? Dad is not home yet." You took a step back, letting him close the door. He passed by you, and that's when you noticed the suit he was holding. Your eyebrows furrowed. "Wednesday asked me to be her date for the Rave'N." He held up the suit and ran upstairs, probably to get ready.

Your head went into spiral. She asked him? So, why did she kiss you? Was it to clear her head? Was she confused? You and Tyler do look similar, but you were certain she said she came for you that night. Thinking too much made you dizzy. With the help of the furniture around you, you got yourself back to your room. You dropped yourself onto the bed, curling inside your warm blanket, which helped you fall into sleep.

You got woken up by an extreme pain. You screamed on top of your lungs. Gripping on your arm. Sheriff Galpin burst into your room, already trying to soothe you. Then his phone rang through the house, and he gently lay you back down on your pillow. By now, you were breathing heavily, trying to calm yourself.

"Y/N. I need you to come with me. Come on." He said as soon as he hung up the phone. He made you sit up and put one of your jackets on you and then warped you with one of your blankets. You're still clinging on to your arm as if it's going to fall off, and it does feel like it. Once he was finished, he gathered everything he needed and guided you towards the truck, and let you sit by the passenger side. He made sure you were wearing your seatbelt and then drove away.

At some point, you did register where you're headed. Once you past the metal gates, you knew you're at the Nevermore grounds. In your dizzy visions, you could see teenagers running out of the building, covered in blood? Your Dad said something, but your brain didn't register any of it. All you could do was watch him exit the vehicle and storms inside the school.

As soon as he was gone inside, you saw Wednesday covered in blood running past the truck into the woods. You looked around for a hot minute to see if your brother was following her, but no sign of him. You unbuckled your seatbealt and jumped out the truck, following Wednesday.

You called after her in between hissing at the pain shooting through your arm. "Would you stop for a minute?!" You shouted, and that made the girl stop. "Care to explain what is happening? and why are you covered in blood?" You exhaled heavily from chasing her. "It's not blood. It's paint, and right now is not the time. We need to find Eugene!" "The bee boy?" With that, both of you continued to run deeper into the woods. "Eugene!" Wednesday called out, and not even a second both of you hear him. "Wednesday!" The closer you get to him, the pain in your arm grows.

You were just a couple of meters away from him when you heard a screeching scream. Wednesday ran towards the direction, you just behind her, for some reason, you keep looking behind you and bumped into Wednesday. As soon as you turned around and saw Eugene's body, you dropped to the ground.

Everything went black.

[yanderepuck]

You didn't know the prompt but you voted Arthur for some angst.

Hope you're ready for some feels

Sitting at his desk, staring out the window. It's the beginning of spring. Flowers are sprouting. Trees are beginning to regrow their leaves. But even with how beautiful it is outside, he can't seem to enjoy it.

For being a man who is never left speechless, he couldn't tell you exactly how he feels. His vocabulary is wide, and in more than just one language. He knew English, French, and German while he was alive, and now he's begun to learn Dutch and Japanese. You would think he would be able to tell you how he feels.

It's 1897. He could go back to being happy he could go back and see her before she dies. Tell her how much he loves her. Maybe he still had time to stop it from falling apart.

Louisa was his first love. She's still alive. She's suffering with tuberculosis, but she still has many years left to live. Too many actually, considering what happened.

He taps his pen against his desk. The tip leaves small dots of ink on his paper. The pen is dropped and he takes his glasses off to rub his face.

He could go see her. Go see his kids. Tell them how much he loves them. He always loved them. But he didn't show it enough.

It's not that long of a trip. Plus he knows they are all back in England. Which means any day now she will come into his life.

Arthur takes a deep breath and forces himself from his desk. Stretching and trying to think about anything else. Literally anything else.

"Maybe I could go to England... Just for a bit."

He was in the kitchen now making a cup of coffee. What he needed was sleep, not to keep himself up.

He gripped the counter, his knuckles turning white. "I could make sure we all stay happy. I could..."

He seems to finish the sentence in his head, or even starts to have a little argument with himself. "But...I love Jean."

He quickly got snapped out of his thoughts.

"You love Jean?"

It was Theo. As much as he loved Theo, he wasn't the person he needed right now.

"It's nothing. Just a woman I knew from England," he sighs and grabs his mug wanting to hurry back to his room.

"Not so fast, straathond," Theo grabbed his arm to stop him from going anywhere. "Who is she? It's not like you to get hung up on a woman."

He was right. But Jean was different. It was love at first sight. Only, he was already married.

Arthur shakes him off. He wasn't going to understand. How could he? "It's not my issue any longer," he goes back to his room and sits back at his desk.

He zones out for a few minutes before opening a drawer and pulling out a wooden box. Inside were photos and papers from when he was still alive. Oddly enough some of the dates hadn't even passed yet. Some of these photos hadn't even been taken yet.

"If we had stayed in Switzerland for just a little longer..."

He was looking at a photo of Lousia and their two kids. Did his kids even come to his funeral after the way he treated them?

The sight of a single tear landing on the photo snapped him out of it. He turned the picture over and set it on down.

"I need to make things right," he wipes his hand across his face to make the tears go away.

But how? He can't just go to England and walk into their house. The real Arthur is almost 38, and vampire him? Well he looks to be at least a decade younger. Even he can tell he won't be able to pass as himself right now. But he also suspiciously looks too much like himself

"I could...," he pauses to think. "No. But I could-! No." So many thoughts are racing through his head. Should he make sure he never meets Jean? Maybe he should find her first. Maybe slap himself and tell him that he has a wife that he lives at home, and how she loves him.

"That would be a weird interaction, now wouldn't it?"

He sips his coffee and looks down at his paper and pen. It's now covered in ink splotches.

She has so much time left. Not nearly as little as the doctors anticipated. Almost a whole other decade.

Comte would kill him if he went to England and messed with history. He's a famous writer after all. It's not messing with the life of a nobody.

His kids hate him. It's not like he blames them. He chose Jean over his own kids, sent them to boarding school and didn't even want to see them on holidays. Told them they would have to find their own way home for the holiday rather than lending them money.

With his elbows on the desk, and his hands in his hair, his feelings start pouring out of his eyes. He wants to go back and change it. He wants to spend time with his kids. Spend time with Louisa. Tell them all how much he loves them. Tell them that he messed up and he regrets it. That he would do anything for them now.

But ..does he?

Does he regret it?

That's where the feelings are really coming from. Because as much as he wishes he had treated his kids better, he loved Jean. No. He loves Jean. He still has feelings for her to this day.

But what about Louisa? Yes he loves her. But is it stronger? For nine years while she was sick in bed, assuming she could pass any day, he was out with Jean. Going out to dinner with her. Meeting her in hotels.

Would it be fair to stop himself from meeting Jean?

He tries to straighten himself out. He uses the cuff of his shirt to soak up the tears. There's too many this time. The paper beneath him is ruined but he doesn't care. He picks up his pen and starts writing, being careful of all the wet spots.

For once since he's been revived he pours his heart out. The tears don't stop rolling down his cheeks, but he doesn't stop writing.

He writes a few pages, not quite sure of when to stop. But after what felt like hours he finally puts his own down. He's not even going to reread what he wrote. He can't.

He searches through his desk for envelopes. He needs three. The same address goes on each of them, but the names are different. After putting each letter where it goes he hesitates closing them.

When should he send them? They don't even know what he's apologizing for. The affair hasn't even started yet. But should he wait until Louisa has mere days left? Weeks? Months? Would they think it is some kind of prank?

He finishes off his coffee and gets up, taking the letters with him. Another debate is in his head.

Comte knows about his life and everything that happened. He doesn't know how, but he does. But Theo is his best friend, even though he doesn't know a fraction of his life.

He lets his feet lead him where he needs to go. He doesn't even realize how dark the mansion is. How the sun has gone down. He is looking down at the envelopes as he walks. No clue where he is going until he stops.

He looks up and it's Theo's door. His best friend. He would trust him with his life. He takes a deep breath and wipes his eyes again before knocking on his door.

"Theo?" he finally realized how late it is. He could be asleep.

Just as he is about to walk away from the door, it opens. "This better be good stra-" he stops when he sees how red Arthur's eyes are. How his cheeks are a little wet. "Arthur, what's wrong?"

He's clearly had gotten out of bed to answer the door.

"I need you to do something important for me," he holds out the letters. "These need to go to England," he pauses for a moment, nearly choking on his tears. "To Louisa and my kids."

"Arthur what are you -" he gets cut off.

"I need you to send them when the time is right. Louisa only has nine years left."

Theo wanted to ask so many questions. He's never seen Arthur like this. What happened? Theo slowly reaches out and takes the envelopes, noticing that they aren't shut.

"I don't-"

"Please, Theo," he's doing his best to keep his cool. It's not going well. "Don't tell me when you send them. I want to leave it in the past."

Looking up from the letters, he looks at Arthur and nods. "Okay. I will."

He didn't know how else to reply to taking on this task. He doesn't even know the situation to know when would be a good time. They aren't shut, does he read them? Is that why he didn't shut them?

"Thank you," Arthur says nothing else and walks back down the hall to his room. He closes his door and falls into the couch in his room, not even thinking about turning his desk lamp off.

"There's nothing else you can do, ol' chap."

~~~

~~~

Writer notes: I started this in March when I was doing a bunch of polls. For this one I had you chose the guy, and kept the prompt a secret.

I did a DEEEP dive into Arthur and I didn't realize the affair was THAT long so then I wasn't too sure how to write this. I knew he was married twice but I didn't realize how the second came to be, or that Louisa was dying the whole time.

I wasn't sure how to make him feel regret bc he really did love Jean, but he also really loved Louisa.

ANYWAY I HOPE YOU ALL ENOYED.

The other options for this prompt were Vincent, Mozart and Dazai. I might do one with Vincent because I already used this prompt neither Theo.

[toxicanonymity]

Good behavior (one shot)

7.5k Words | inmate!Corey x f!Reader | NSFW

This is @cordelium's amazing art.

When he reached for your trash, you swiveled your chair so your pants brushed his strong forearm.  He looked up at you from under his curls and you were biting your lip.  You flashed your eyebrows, and he read you like a book.  A devious smile spread across his face, then faded.  His eyes were dark and sexy.  As he stood back up, he ran his masculine, veiny hand up your leg, tracing a line halfway up your thigh.  Your heart raced and your stomach fluttered. 

SUMMARY: Inmate Corey is assigned work detail at your office and you're horny for him. You manage to get some privacy and hook up multiple times.

WARNINGS: Crazy sexual tension & horniness, bribery, inappropriate touching, mild dubcon since he has no rights (but he's so down), hybristophilia (craving that criminal cock), unsafe P in V, sometimes rough, various sex acts?

A/N: Inspiration/history | Check out the full-length illustration of Day 4. Also, check out @slutforstabbings hot new story.

__________________________

Day 1 - Monday 

You saw him from behind when he bent over to pick up the trash bin in your office.  The first thing you noticed was his shapely ass, followed by the rolled-up sleeves of his orange top.  You were grateful to whoever issued his too-small prison garb. Judging by the curve of his biceps, he probably had to cuff the sleeves or else cut off his circulation.  

"Thanks," you said.  

"No problem," he responded in a deep voice with a northern accent.  As he turned his head toward you, you saw the scar on his neck.  His curly hair.  His perfect nose.  There was no doubt who it was.  He did a double take and caught you checking him out with your mouth agape. He gave you a little smirk and raised his eyebrows as he left with his Corrections Officer.  

-

You couldn't help it.  Not only did he have a stunning body, but you were also stunned to see "psycho killer" Corey Cunningham on inmate work detail at all, let alone there of all places:  The judicial complex where he was convicted.  The thing was, he was only convicted of arson and destruction of property, so he wasn’t treated as a violent offender.  

Corey was never even charged with a violent crime after the 2022 killing spree.  All the murders were pinned on Michael Myers – Law Enforcement was in a tight spot after allowing a town mob to literally shred him to a pulp.  It would be a terrible look if they turned around and said, “by the way, someone else actually committed most of the Halloween murders this year.”  They wanted to avoid anything that could raise even a shred of doubt that Michael deserved it. 

Plenty of people in Haddonfield still connected the deaths to Corey, though.  The motives pointed to him, whereas motives were never a factor for Michael Myers. There were two major competing theories about the 2022 victims: either Corey killed them with Michael, or Michael killed them for Corey, his rumored lover.  If the latter was true, frankly, you thought that was hot as fuck.  But all you knew for sure was that Corey Cunningham was fine as hell and suddenly in your office. 

Obviously, Corey’s work detail assignment was all the talk around the water cooler that day.  You downplayed it and suggested everyone just keep to themselves whenever he came in.  If it was any other notorious criminal, you would have been on the phone with the Warden’s Office within minutes asking how the hell this happened.  It was an open mockery of the system.  But the last thing you wanted them to do was take him away.  You secretly lusted after him during the whole joke of an investigation into “Michael’s” latest killing spree, and then throughout his arson trial.  It wasn’t unethical - Your agency didn’t handle felonies, thankfully.  But all the agencies talk, and you hung on any crumb you heard about him.  

-

You thought about Corey all day.  You thought about how your office was back in the corner, and the windows had blinds.  You thought about the way he looked at you.  Your wheels started turning.  As a starting point, you moved your trash can under your desk and twisted the blinds shut on your window to the main office hall.

-

Day 2 - Tuesday 

The next day, when Corey came in, he greeted you with your name, which was printed on your office door.   Something about that scar was so hot.  You loved his tattoos, too.  You stayed in your chair, right next to the waste basket.  He stopped for a moment to look around your office for the trash.  "Good morning," you said quietly.  You nodded under your desk.  It was a bold move.  You didn't want to be demeaning, but you knew he would like where you were headed with this.  He smirked subtly and approached your desk.  

When he reached for your trash, you swiveled your chair so your pants brushed his strong forearm.  He looked up at you from under his curls and you were biting your lip.  You flashed your eyebrows, and he read you like a book.  A devious smile spread across his face, then faded.  His eyes were dark and sexy.  As he stood back up, he ran his masculine, veiny hand up your leg, tracing a line halfway up your thigh.  Your heart raced and your stomach fluttered.  He went and emptied your trash before coming back.  

After returning the basket under your desk, his chin hovered over your shoulder.  He brought his nose to the crook of your neck, and you were tingling everywhere. He put his mouth to your ear and whispered, "you smell amazing."   Your ears burned and your nipples were rock hard.  You could hardly stand the tension.  You inhaled deeply and smiled.  He smelled amazing, too.  Like wood, musk, and fresh cotton. 

After Corey left your office, you made a trip to the restroom just so you could politely greet his Corrections Officer and take note of the name on his tag.  

That day, you also volunteered to stay back from a conference everyone else in your office would attend the following week.  You pointed out the critical need for someone to be on call in the actual office.  Records were close to full virtualization, but there were still some physical files.  When they said yes, you had to contain your excitement.  The Solicitor General personally thanked you for looking out.

-

Day 3 - Wednesday 

Colleagues seemed to notice that you wore a skirt, but you didn't care.  You almost always wore pants, but at this point, every choice you made needed to bring you closer to having Corey Cunningham inside you. 

That morning, you closed your door more than half-way and stood at your desk.  You wheeled your chair slightly out of the way.  Corey slipped into your office without opening the door wider, and stopped in his tracks when he saw you in that skirt.  You shamelessly checked each other out like two animals in a mating ritual. Your eyes fell on the bulge in his orange pants.  Both your faces flushed.  You each knew exactly what you wanted. 

You turned to face your computer without sitting down. You wrote on a post-it note "everyone will be gone Mon-Weds" and put it on the top of your trash, which he still had to crouch down to pick up. He read the note and looked up at you with his pupils wide, then scanned your body as he stood up, his hand trailing up the inside of your bare leg.  "Good," he said to your chest, then crumpled up the note.  He was breathing heavily. His muscular thigh grazed yours as he went to empty the trash.  

He came back with the empty basket, and for a moment, he stood directly behind you with his free hand on your hip.  He gently pressed his hard-on against your skirt and dragged it about an inch upward. You silently gasped at the pang of pleasure.  You both heard the CO's keys jingling increasingly louder in the hall.   Before leaving, Corey adjusted himself, which made your toes curl.  He gave you the most lustful gaze on his way out.  You were determined for this man to fuck you.

-

You thought about Corey that night and barely even touched yourself but came so hard.  You needed to figure out how the two of you would get some privacy from the CO.  You did some research.  The CO escorting him normally worked at the prison and was only on a temporary assignment at the judicial complex to fill in for someone on parental leave.  The judicial complex was by far the preferred place to work, and it paid more, too.  It probably wouldn’t take more than a phone call to get him permanently transferred, which would benefit both you and the CO.  Hopefully this might incentivize the CO’s cooperation the following week. 

Before you proposed this, you would have to make sure the CO was essentially bribable – the pay was absurdly low, so many of them were – and that he wouldn't turn around and try to get you fired.  On your way home, you bought a burner phone. 

-

Day 4 - Thursday  

You emptied your own trash before Corey got there, buying you a couple of minutes.  He came in with a broom and dust pan, but there was nothing to sweep.  You sat in your chair and he stood in front of you.  You looked at each other with electricity between you, wondering what would happen next  – or rather, how you would make it happen.  You grabbed a fine point sharpie and pulled down his waistband, sending a rush through your body and his.  His breath was so heavy.  You watched his bulge swell, then rested the heel of your palm against it as you held his waistband.  He held his shirt up for you, and you wrote your burner number just above his pubic hair.  It was wildly intimate.  

When you finished writing, you didn’t scoot back, and Corey didn't bother turning away when he adjusted himself before leaving.  You caught a glimpse of his fat, pink cock-head and felt weak in the knees.  You were so wet that when he left, you had to turn your skirt around to make sure your arousal wasn't visible. You went home during lunch and changed underwear.  On your way back to work, you stopped at the bank to withdraw some cash, just to get the conversation started with the CO.  You kept your door half-closed for the rest of the day so it wouldn't be conspicuous when you kept it half-closed with Corey there in the morning. 

@cordelium illustration

-

Later that night, you were eating dinner alone at home when you got the call.  

"You have received a collect call from an inmate at the Illinois Department of Corrections.  Would you like to accept the charges?" Your heart raced.

You pressed #1 and said "Hey,” as casually as you could. “It’s good to hear from you.” 

Neither of you were stupid, you knew the line was monitored and recorded. . 

"Uh, hey," he said, his low voice sending a hot chill down your spine. 

"How are you doing?" you asked. 

He groaned softly, which sent you throbbing.  "It's been a hard week," he said.  

Your chest swarmed with butterflies. "Yeah? How hard?"

"Very, very hard." God, he was so fucking hot.  

You sighed.  "I really wish there was something I could do about that."

 "God, me too. Trust me."

"Um. Is your CO nice at least?" 

"Oh yeah," Corey said.  "He's one of the best.  He's really nice, as long as we are, too."  Jackpot. 

You exhaled in relief.  "Well, good."  You started walking to your bedroom, dying for relief. 

"Yeah," Corey said.  "How's your work? Are you ready for your thing?"

"Ugh, I couldn't be more ready."  It was true.  You were aching for him.  You opened your nightstand. 

You heard someone tell him his time was up in the background.  You laid down and put your vibrator up your skirt.

"I've gotta run," he told you. 

"It was nice hearing your voice," you said.  

"Yeah, you too, babe." . . .Babe. Your heart fluttered, and that's not all.

You were about to overheat by the time he hung up and you turned on the toy.  You made yourself come in less than a minute, and you couldn't help but say his name.  

-

Day 5 - Friday

Now that your plans were in motion, you were even more excited than usual to see Corey.  You tied up your trash in a grocery bag to save him some time, but left it in your bin so he wouldn’t leave empty handed.  You were purring between the legs by the time he entered your office and gave you that hungry look.  You could already see the beginning of his arousal.  His broad chest heaved under his prison garb and the veins on his hands bulged.  

You sat toward the edge of your chair.   He crouched next to you to get the trash, inhaling you on his way down.  He turned to face you, and you swiveled your chair toward him.  You subtly opened your legs at the risk of a tidal wave whooshing onto your chair.  He wasted no time sliding his hand up your inner thigh all the way to your soaked underwear.  You watched his prison tattoos flex as he gently rubbed his thick digits along your panties.  Your clit throbbed so hard, he must have felt it.  He inhaled deeply, then surprised you by lingering there and nudging the wet, silky fabric aside.  Living dangerously.  

He bit his gorgeous lip as he slid two fingers into you with a silent shudder. You gasped softly, then quickly  covered your mouth.  He breathed heavily as he gently fingered you, his thumb on your clit.  His lips parted and his head tilted back.  His Adam's apple was absurdly sexy, and the scar on his neck mesmerized you.  

Corey obviously had trouble peeling himself away, as did you.  You were so fucking hot for him, you would've risked almost anything for just a few more seconds - anything but the chance to have him inside you.  You didn't want to ruin what you were so close to achieving. 

"Here," you whispered with a folded $100 bill held between two fingers like a cigarette in your lap as you began to close your legs.   You dared to finger the back of his curly mullet before he stood up.  The seediness of giving him money turned you on even more.  He withdrew his hand and brought his fingers to his mouth as he stood up.  His bulge had grown and was once again right in front of you.  You slipped the bill into his waistband and took the opportunity to graze his raging hard-on. "Tell him we wanna talk," you said.

He nodded.  The keys of the CO jingled closer, and Corey quickly composed himself. 

"See you then," he whispered as he secured the cash.  He adjusted himself and you felt the sharpest pang of desire.  You watched his ass as he left. It looked so ripe, you wanted to pluck him right off the vine.  

-

THE WEEKEND

Sunday, you got another call from prison. 

"I miss you," he said. 

"I miss you too," you told him. 

"How's the weather?" he asked. 

"Wet. Very wet."

"It's gonna be hotter Monday," he said, then shifted gears.  "Hey, uh, the friend we talked about wants to meet you. He's cool." 

This was very good news.  

-

Day 6 - Monday 

Monday, you were alone in your office, just as you planned, and you could not have been more ready for Corey.  You wore very accessible underwear and a skirt that was long enough to be decent but flowy enough to easily lift.  Your shirt wrapped around with a tie closure.  You didn't know how much time you would have. 

It was radio silent in the office with everyone else gone to the retreat.  You gathered up everyone's trash yourself and put it in one bag so it would be ready for Corey and the CO.  Right on schedule, you heard the door to the office open, then the CO's keys jingle louder and louder down the hall until your door pushed open.  

You were leaning back against the front of your desk but stood up straight when they came in.  You started to introduce yourself. 

"I know who you are," the CO said gently.  "I know you're as human as me. I've just gotta know I'm talking to the person, not the job." 

“Of course,” you said, then cleared your throat.  “You normally work at the prison, right? The gig here is until, what, next month?”

He nodded, intrigued.  “That’s right.” 

“Do you like it enough to stay?” 

“Sure,” he said, skeptically.  “How do we make it happen?” 

“Well, Corey and I would appreciate a little privacy this week.  I know you have a tight schedule, and this won’t even disrupt it.  I’ll handle the cleaning for our office, and we’d like to spend that time alone instead.   If we can do that, I’ll make a call next week.”

He slowly nodded, either wondering how he could trust you to make the call, or marveling that you could truly be that horny.  

“I think we both want the same thing,” you reassured him.  “For you to be here.  It would obviously benefit me, too, in case of any future, uh, opportunity.”  

You glanced toward Corey, who was chewing his thumbnail excitedly.  Every little thing he did was so fucking sexy.   

“Sound good? Here,“ you slipped him several folded bills. “For your discretion meanwhile.”  

The CO looked you in the eyes, took a deep breath, and nodded.  He extended his hand to shake yours, then pocketed the cash. “Alright,” he said. 

Before the CO even left, Corey was all the way up against you, backing you into the edge of your desk, hands engulfing your head, his lips grazing yours, breathing hotly into your mouth as your hands drifted toward his ass.  

“Ten minutes," the CO said and you heard him jingle away.  You pried your head from Corey’s for a moment to look at the clock on your wall.  

9:40

“That was hot as fuck,” Corey growled in your ear. 

Then, he kissed you like it was his first time tasting water.   Your chest swelled full of life as your mouth greedily accepted his, and you untied your blouse.  He grinded his arousal into you and grabbed your ass.  You slid your hand into his waistband.  Hot, rock-hard, and thick.  

He wedged himself between your knees and nudged you into sitting on the edge of your desk.  He bowed his head to continue kissing you thirstily.  He threw your blouse open as your palm moved the smooth, warm skin of his girthy shaft.  You were throbbing impatiently beneath your skirt and the feeling radiated through your ass and thighs. He palmed your breast aggressively, nudging your bra down, then took your nipple into his mouth and gave it a gentle bite while his other hand slid between your legs.  His cock head weeped into your palm.  You almost choked on your gasp.  You were desperate for him.  

9:42  

When his thick fingers reached the narrow, wet lace of your thong, he whispered "fuck, yeah" as he pushed it aside.  His voice got hotter and hotter.  He gathered your skirt out of the way, and his head dove between your legs.  His beautiful nose rubbed your clit in a way you never knew you needed as he lapped at your dripping seam and softly moaned into your cunt.  He devoured you like he was starving - eyes closed, brow furrowed. 

But every inch of your body wanted every inch of his. “I need you inside me,” you said.  

He stood up and fumbled with his waistband, his lips returning to yours, imparting the light tinge of yourself.  You helped him free his cock and tilted your hips invitingly.  He grabbed your thighs and pulled you against him. His warm, naked shaft  dragged up and down your slippery seam.  The warm tension in your core coiled tighter and you whimpered.   

The swollen head of his cock prodded at your entrance.  You never needed anything as bad as you needed him inside you at that moment.  He held you tight and plunged his cock inside you.  You moaned in unison.  You were so absurdly wet and ready that his imposing girth felt nothing but amazing. He pulled back just a little, then plunged even further, bottoming out with the sexiest grunt. 

9:45  

It was the perfect stretch and each thrust felt better than the last.  Your hips moved in the same rhythm.  He was meant to be inside you.  You were already close.   You wrapped your legs around him. He lifted one of your thighs, and you sank further onto him than you knew was possible, your clit smashing and grinding into his pubic bone with each beat.   Oh God, the friction was perfect.  

9:48  

You came harder than you knew was possible, your whole body contracting, releasing.  Corey erupted with a groan, holding you down on his cock, and pulsed enormously inside you.  His hips rolled into yours much slower as he came, and when his balls had given you everything, he sat you down on your desk.  You both were breathing heavily, his forehead against yours, when you heard the front office door open. 

9:51

"Fuck," Corey exhaled.  "I'm sorry."  You both scrambled to compose yourselves.  You tied your blouse again as the keys jingled down the hall and the CO’s shadow passed your closed blinds.  

"Damn," the CO said when he saw you all hot and disheveled. "You're the real deal.  I'll give you a minute," he said, and stepped outside your office. 

"God, you're so fucking hot," Corey gushed in a whisper, and kissed you forcefully before he left. 

-

Tuesday - Day 7 

The next morning, you  got an actual work call you had to deal with.  It was an Assistant District Attorney.  You hoped Corey didn't hear his voice.  The door to the front office opened just as you were finishing up.  You got off the call and scrambled to clear your desk and calm your nerves. 

There were no jingling keys, just one set of heavy footsteps. You paused your clean-up to take off your blazer, leaving a black, stretchy tube dress with a built-in shelf bra.  You planned to take off your underwear before he arrived but didn't have time.  You would've gone commando to begin with, but thoughts of Corey would have been a hazard to your chair.

Your heart pounded and your core tightened the closer he got.  Through the blinds of your interior window, you saw his silhouette approach.  It was an attractive shape. You tingled all over. 

"Sorry," you said as you picked up a stack of files to move to your credenza.  

Corey didn't say a word, not "it's okay," not even "hey."  He came in and closed the door behind him.  You looked up at him and did a double take.  There was a different energy about him.  More intense.  He had a dark, wild look in his eyes, but otherwise, no expression.  

His pants stretched tight over his arousal as he lumbered toward you.  So fucking hot.  He engulfed you dominantly from behind.  His hard chest pressed against your back, his hardness into your ass, and you dropped the stack of files.  His mouth latched onto your neck as his hands roved hungrily, groping your breasts, hiking up your dress, sliding his hand down your panties and flattening his fingers against your dripping cunt with rolling pressure.  He was rougher, more controlling.  He breathed heavily into your ear, but said nothing.     

You were already throbbing so hard.  He pushed the top of your dress down out of the way as he aggressively palmed your breasts, sucked your neck,  and rutted into you.  He manhandled you over the end of your credenza and yanked your dress all the way up over your ass, turning it into a pathetic tube top that sat beneath your breasts.

His thighs pinned you to the credenza, his massive hand slid between your legs again, and the throbbing hardness in his pants pressed into you forcefully.  He shuddered and your nipples hardened, making him grope both breasts, even harder.   You felt his bulge swell against you as it rolled into your ass.  You ached for him so badly.  You pulled down your panties with both hands and he pulled down his pants.  He must have looked so hot.  You turned to look at him, but his large hand on your back forced you down onto the polished wood surface.  You couldn't see the clock. 

Corey inhaled deeply and you felt his swollen cock-head slide against your dripping seam, then he shoved himself into you with a primal grunt.  Holy fuck, he felt so good.  He thrust into you harder, stretching your insides so he could bottom out.  And again, filling you to the brim with his meat.  The tension inside you was coiled so tight you could have come at any moment.  He was impossibly hard and thick.  He lowered his chest over your back as he fucked you.  He let you rise up just enough for his arms to wrap around you, his large, rough hands feeling you up as he rammed into you. He fucked you like an animal until the tight coil in your core sprang open all at once, sending an intoxicating rush through your whole body each time you pulsed in release.

You came hard.  His large, veiny hand clamped over your mouth and muffled your moan.  His strong arms kept you almost still as your muscles jolted and jerked.  As you pulsed and quaked and whimpered into his hand, he didn’t let up at all until suddenly he was coming, too.  He growled almost imperceptibly, milking his cock with your contractions.  You were moving as one body, one beautiful machine, jolting together in silent bliss.  As you both finished coming, he finally relaxed his grip around you.  

His arms lifted your chest up and squeezed you from behind, his cock still inside you.  You were both panting. He kissed the nape of your neck, inhaling deeply through his nose, then gently pulled your dress up over your breasts, caressing them through the smooth fabric.  His cock didn’t seem to shrink at all. You didn't want him to pull out.  Not now, not ever.  

But you heard the front office door open.  He inhaled your hair deeply and slid his dick out of you.  He tugged your dress down and allowed you to face him as he pulled up his pants. You gawked at his thighs.   When your eyes met, his were black.  He ran his hands down your sides, then over your ass, pulling your pelvis gently into his.   

The CO knocked on your office door,  "We gotta move."  

Corey read your face and vacantly kissed you on the forehead as his cum trickled down your inner thigh.  Your fingers itched to caress the scar on his neck, but you didn't dare, especially not this time.  His dark eyes looked you up and down, and he left without a single word.  The CO's keys echoed more loudly than ever as they walked away.   

-

Dark, masculine energy hung in the air even after he left. 

What the hell just happened?  Not a single word.  You couldn't put your finger on it, but it was like he was someone else. 

A chill ran down your spine when you realized who. 

It was hot as fuck. 

-

You received a collect call that night on your burner.   Was he going to say something or just breathe into the phone? 

"Hey beautiful." It was like nothing happened.  When you heard his voice, you wanted to jump through the phone and onto his dick.  

"God, it's good to hear your voice," you said.  

"Are you ready for tomorrow?"  Ah, maybe it was the fact that you weren’t ready for him.  

"Yeah," you said, then something came over you. Hearing his voice made you so fucking hot for him, like you needed to chain him to your desk and just ride him all day. "I'm actually going to be leading it."

"Oh," he said. He inhaled and exhaled loudly "hmm." His voice was a low hum.  

"Yeah, I hope they're ready."

He let out an aching sigh.  "I'm sure they will be. . .hey, what if it's longer than the other sessions?"

Your heart swelled.  "I would love that," you said.  "there's always more to pack in."

"Ugh," he groaned softly and your nipples puckered.  His voice was low and gruff as he said, "Yeah, there is." 

-

Wednesday - Day 8 

You chose a leather chair with no arms that would allow you to be face to face.  You took off your underwear, button-up shirt, and bra, leaving only a skirt and thin spaghetti-strap tank.  God forbid anyone else walk in. 

Corey arrived about ten minutes earlier than usual and looked at you like he was starving.  You nodded to the chair.  "Alright," he said your name as he took his seat, manspreading.  Your name sounded so hot in his mouth.   "Your move."  God, the sound of his voice. The look in his eyes.  He glanced at the clock. "We've probably got like 15-20."    

9:30 

"Thank God," you said.  It was still virtually no time at all, but every minute with him felt like a gift.  You took a moment to appreciate his entire form, from his dark, curly locks down to his huge boots. His muscles. His pre-faded prison tattoos.  His almost-snarl. He was so imposing and delicious. You wanted, needed to see more of him.  He looked physically pained not to be touching you.  He opened his arms and his biceps flexed under his rolled-up sleeves.

You swung your leg over him and straddled him, your throbbing warmth meeting the hardness of his pants right away.  He bit his lip as his pelvis rose to greet you and his massive hands ran up and down your sides.  His lips hungrily claimed yours, his tongue forcing your mouth open. You rolled your hips into him and his cock swelled harder against you.  You physically flinched in pleasure, breaking the kiss.  It was almost too much too soon.  Corey breathed loudly, and he searched your eyes as you grinded into him, admiring his face.  His hands ran from your thighs up to your ass, taking your skirt all the way up.  

You curled your fingers under his shirt and he took it off in a flash.  Oh my.  He held your balance as you leaned back and ran your hands all over his firm, broad chest and he watched your eyes roam his body.  You scooted your ass back toward his knees, painfully prying your pelvis away from his for just a minute to take it all in. 

9:32

Your thumbs traced between his pecs, down his abs, around his belly button, his happy trail, where you shoved your hand into his pants.  You massaged his warm, engorged member and he thrust it into your hand.  If this was the last chance you had, you needed to taste him.  You pulled his waistband down and got on your knees.    

It was your first time seeing his cock head-on, and you tried not to dwell on its beauty while the clock was ticking.  You were mesmerized by his fine, red hair.  You wrapped your lips around the swollen tip and when you sucked it into your mouth, he sucked air in through his teeth and his chest puffed out.  He stroked your cheek with a large knuckle and the vein on his hand looked so hot.  

He was delicious.  Salty and musky.  You inhaled as deep as you could through your nose.  Your fingers gently felt the fine red hair above his cock as you opened wide and took as much of him as your mouth could hold.  His chest heaved and he moaned.  You looked up at him with his cock in your mouth and he was so fucking hot from that angle.  His muscles. His Adam's apple. The scar on his neck. His shitty, seedy tattoos.  A symbol or vertical zig-zag on his hip bone.  You were throbbing so hard you almost straddled his filthy boot seeking friction and you knew it was time to move on.  

But first, you slurped his cock further into your mouth.  "Fuck," he said in the voice that drove you wild.  "Okay," he panted, "get back up here, assuming you wanna fuck before I come." 

You looked at him, and he looked at the ceiling.  Ugh, that throat.  

9:37

You held his hard cock in your hand and tried to memorize his whole groin as quickly as you could.  You checked out the tat on his hip bone.  Holy shit.   It wasn’t a zig-zag, it was initials:  "M.M."  You were floored and extremely turned on.  You ran your thumb over it lightly, and his cock swelled in your hand.  His eyes widened then darkened as he looked down at your thumb on the initials, and he got even harder.  His cock was weeping in your hand.  

As you urgently climbed back onto him, you had to ask. "Is it true?" 

He raised his eyebrows, and in the sexiest, hushed voice, he asked, "Do you want it to be?" 

You nodded almost imperceptibly and dragged your wet heat against his smooth, naked shaft.  His hardness took your breath away.

“Yeah? Does it turn you on?" He asked as he  grabbed your ass and moved you harder into him.  You slid firmly up and down his stiff member, and each time his tip met your clit, it was a burst of pleasure everywhere.  

"Yeah," you whispered lowly, searching his face for an answer.  His eyebrows jumped and he smirked ever so slightly as he swelled against you even harder.  God, your whole body ached for him.  

You aligned your entrance, and his cock nudged it needily.  You began to sink onto him, and he gasped.  His smirk disappeared and his lips parted.  His massive hands on your hips brought you down on him hard.

"Fuck, yeah," he groaned as the enhanced girth of his swollen cock parted your insides. 

You had never been so full, and it felt amazing.  Your nipples puckered, goosebumps prickled across your breasts, and your arm hair stood on end.  His breath was ragged.  He withdrew just a tad, then thrust up into you as you sank down even harder.  You felt so alive. 

As you rolled your hips into his, he moaned and his mouth hung open.  His pelvis rose, rocking you into the air.  Your lips drew his mouth into yours, swallowing his breathy moans, and he kissed you more ferally than you'd ever been kissed.  He held you down on his cock and your aching clit found friction where your bodies met.  The motion of your hips together moved his girth inside you in just the right way.  His cock would retreat just an inch, then, your body would swiftly reclaim it. 

You draped your wrists on the back of the chair and fingered his curls as you rode him, marveling at his beautiful face.  He thrust in perfect rhythm with your needy hips.  You tore off your shirt and he softly moaned into your neck.  

His hot breath on your skin sent you over the edge. Your whole body shook, and as his mouth went to your tit, you buried your lips in the hair behind his ear to stop from crying out.  He smelled so masculine.  He slowed his pace and shuddered as you clenched around his cock. You finished coming, and relief flooded your body. 

9:45

When you looked him in the eyes again, it was like you both had the sudden realization that this was it.  He kissed you more desperately than ever, like he needed you to live, and began thrusting into you harder.  He sucked your neck painfully hard and held you tight against him.  Your bare skin together felt like you should never be torn apart. 

God, this man did something to you.  Your chest swelled and tension consumed your core again.   He slid his arms under your knees, letting them hang over his elbows, gently  tilting your hips.  Your spine arched and he sloppily kissed his way from your sternum to your neck.  He wrapped his arms around your back, pushing your hamstrings up and spreading your legs wide.  

In one smooth movement, he stood up from the chair, his cock twitching deep inside you, and laid you down on your desk.  He hovered over you, as if his dark eyes were studying, absorbing the pleasure on your face.  You wrapped your legs around him and he fucked you so hard and deep. Filling you to the brim each time, his balls slamming into you.  

He groaned as he began to pulse inside you.  You whimpered, and pleasure burst from your solar plexus, almost blinding you as you came – you saw his face contort in broken flashes.  His cock pulsed violently inside you, with a huge swell of warmth in your core every time your walls clenched around him.  His body folded into yours heavily as you both finished coming and your legs relaxed around him.  He grunted softly in protest when your aftershocks overstimulated him. 

He nuzzled his hair into your chest and neck, kissing you sloppily, desperate for more time with you, knowing it was over any second. He hugged you as he straightened his back, bringing you upright with him.  You sat on your desk, your ankles hooked around his legs, kissing his pecs, his sternum, his tattoos, his scar, with your hands memorizing each other's bodies. The front office door opened and he hugged you tightly into him, so tight you could hardly breathe but didn't want him to ever let go.  

As the keys jingled closer, you both dressed hastily.  Your thumb brushed his tattoo as he pulled up his pants. 

Corey kissed you one more time, deeper than ever, like he was taking something he knew you’d need back.  

9:52

You knew this goodbye wouldn’t be forever.  That simply couldn't be the last time.  You didn't care what it took - you had a primal need for this man.

-

You felt despondent for a few hours.  There were so many things you hadn't done. You indulged yourself in a montage. You wanted to swallow his cum and hear him groan at full volume. You wanted his magnificent nose to linger between your legs and penetrate you, but you hadn't been able to pry yourself away from his cock for long enough. Your eyes welled up with the horniest tears. You scolded yourself for this emotional state, but it's a terrible feeling, the pain of something you can't have, even if it's right in front of you.

Finally, you composed yourself and made the call. You asked about Corey's CO. Your friend in the Warden’s Office said, “I don’t see why not." He even said he'd get the paperwork started. Your tears threatened to return as ones of hope.   You went to the bathroom and splashed your face and did a double take in the mirror.   Your hand shot to your neck and your face got hot, but then, your heart swelled.  You still had him with you.  You would savor his marks until you could figure everything out.

-

Day 9 (The Day After) -  Thursday 

About half the office came back from the conference Thursday.   You wore a dress with a silk scarf and blazer.  Two of the cooler investigators, Oscar and Kate, who worked in a different wing, stopped by to catch you up.  You suspected they had something going on between them, you just weren’t sure what.   Neither of them were single.  Investigators were pretty good about covering their own tracks and picking up the scents of others.  It was a hazard of working with them.  You made sure to clean your office thoroughly for that reason.

Oscar sat in the black leather chair where Corey and you fucked 25 hours prior, and Kate sat in the one next to it.  You sat behind your desk, the one Corey fucked you on twice.  Kate gave you a book, which you put behind you on the credenza where you also fucked.  

The first thing they told you about was a guy from the conference.  Oscar thought you’d like him a lot.  Kate disagreed.  You had no interest at all, but you let them tell you anyway.  You enjoyed listening to them bicker.  It made their sexual tension so obvious.  Their banter was one thing you missed after being moved over to this wing.  When Kate started telling you about the actual conference, you sat back lazily in your chair and nodded vacantly.  Your hand drifted to your neck, grazing the bruises under your scarf.  The sexual montage in your head was so distracting that you didn’t notice what time it was.  

As Kate yammered on about cyber risk in criminal justice, Corey came into your office and you startled upright, causing Oscar to look behind him at the door and do a double take.  

Oscar said, “Mind knocking? We’re kinda busy, man.”  

“No, it’s fine,” you said.  “Thank you,” you smiled at Corey.  “I don’t have any trash, though.” You didn’t. 

Corey just kind of looked at you.  But what were you going to do, kick your colleagues out of your office so your secret psycho killer boyfriend could feel you up? You looked at him somewhat apologetically.  

Kate looked back and forth between you and Corey.  Then, so did Oscar.  

“You heard her,” Oscar told him.  Corey didn’t even look at Oscar.  He smiled at you and left quietly.  

Oscar turned back around and looked at you, then shook his head in disbelief. “Fucking Corey Cunningham,” he said.  “Really??”

You tried to stop your face from going white.  

“I had to see it to believe it,” he said. 

Oscar looked back at the doorway, then at Kate, then at you again.  You didn’t react.  He needed to show more of his hand. 

“How does Corey Cunningham get work detail?” he finally said.  You internally breathed a sigh of relief but also wondered if Corey could hear him.  

“Good behavior?” you said with air quotes. Air quotes could imply anything from politics to extortion.

“Oscar, don’t you have that meeting with Frank?” Kate said abruptly.  

“Shit.” Oscar left.

-

Kate leaned into your desk and asked, “So?” 

“What?” you asked. 

“Fucking Cunningham. Details?”  

She was studying your face so intently.  You were normally as cool as a cucumber and very hard to read, but you wouldn’t be surprised if that had gone out the window along with the rest of your self-restraint.  

You shrugged.  “He started last week, I think.” 

“Have you talked to him?” 

“Small talk.  Perfect gentleman so far.” 

“Hmm,” Kate said, still studying your face.  Her eyes drifted to the chair Oscar sat in.  Surely you didn’t miss a cum stain.  You wondered what Kate would do if she knew. Your heart started beating faster.  She looked at your jugular vein.  Shit.  

Her face broke into a smile.  “You think he’s hot, don’t you?” 

Now, this you could deal with. You answered carefully, “Like. . . objectively?” your face breaking into a smile. 

“Yeah,” she shrugged.  “He’s hot,” she said, laughing and nodding, covering her mouth like she was such a bad girl. 

“Right??” You mirrored her demeanor.  It was objectively true, so you had that going for you. 

“Yeah, I hope they keep him around,” she said in a whisper.  “I just wouldn’t want to be alone with the guy,” she added. 

“I mean. . .” you raised your eyebrows.  Joking about it would mean you had nothing to hide.  

She playfully slapped your wrist and doubled over laughing.  “I miss you.  I wish I worked in this wing.”  You were glad she didn’t, even though you missed her, too.  

-

You worried about Corey all day and were relieved to get a collect call almost as soon as you got home. 

“Hey baby,” you said gently, worried he’d be mad.  “How are you?”

“Oh so now you care,” he replied. 

“Of course I care,” you pleaded.  “Come on, you know I can’t – I had kind of a shitty morning.”   

“No, I know, babe.  I was just thinking about you,” he said softly.  

“I was thinking about you, too. Like all day.” 

“Really? What were you wearing?” he asked. His voice was really working its magic between your legs.  

“Well, right now, I'm not wearing much-”

“No scarf?” he cut you off.  

“Um-” 

“You should never wear a scarf. You should be proud of your beautiful neck. Don't you like it?”  

“I really do,” you sighed and stroked your painful bruises.  

“Oh! I think everything’s going to work out with our friend,” you told him.  

His voice brightened.  “Good,” he said.  “I hope you have a better morning tomorrow.” 

“Me too.  I’ll do what I can.” 

You set a reminder to take off your scarf while he was there, unsure what else you could do about that without attracting attention that would jeopardize the whole situation.

Something else was bugging you, though.  Was Corey really not the least bit upset at being shooed away from your office? You wondered if you should be worried about Oscar.  

###

Afterword: Luckily, i've taken an oath not to let morality interfere with my writing, but prison labor reform is worth a google if you're interested in social issues.

[cat-dragoness]

Reading Castle in the Air out loud to my housemates (pt. 1/?):

(I was going to do one of these for Howl's Moving Castle but forgot and now I can't remember all of my thoughts. Oh well. The main thing I do remember is: If you're thinking of reading HMC out loud, do it.)

My housemates haven't read this book before. I have. This will be entertaining :)

Me: "Just to warn you, this story will start with a completely different cast than HMC had." The housemates: "But what happened to Howl?" Me: "… You'll find out." The housemates: *assorted noises of disappointment*

The flowery, "insults thinly veiled as compliments" manner of talking in that book is so much fun to read aloud. I'm probably making everyone sound more sarcastic than they're actually supposed to sound. But that's fine, because it's fun!

There is an assortment of sighing and groaning over Flower-in-the-Night. To be fair, I forgot how cheesy they kind of are.

I mean, they meet and immediately are in love. Or at least Abdullah is. It might take Flower-in-the-Night until the second night to fall in love (being slightly hung up on her uncertainty that Abdullah is a man at all). I'm not actually going to take issue with this, because I don't want to take issue with it, but it literally takes them twenty-four hours to decide to get married, only a couple of which they even spend together.

On that note though, the housemates found the whole "Flower-in-the-Night doesn't think Abdullah is a man" thing hilarious, which means I found it hilarious.

"But where's Howl?"

Aaaaand everything goes wrong and the housemates are loving it.

(This is about the point when Housemate #3 (who has been less involved in the reading shenanigans) walked in with zero context for any of what was going on, and started looking very concerned.)

Housemates are solidly convinced that Howl is the Ochinstan prince to whom Flower-in-the-Night is betrothed (because of the mention of "the princes of Ochinstan are very hard to pin down"), and I am dying. I'm also refusing to tell them anything about how correct they are (or aren't).

The housemates: "But wait, Howl's married already. [This was the only thing I did tell them, back when we started the book.] He must be lying; he doesn't actually want to marry Flower-in-the-Night." I am still dying.

Also we got to the part where Abdullah is challenging the Sultan to just kill him now (knowing that he won't), and that's where Housemate #2 (who has been a fan of HMC, both movie and book, for some years and is the more vocal about Howl's current absence) declared that she loves this book. I feel accomplished.

That is a great part of the book, though, which I had kind of forgotten about. Abdullah's not challenging Fate (yet), but he is setting the tone for that to come up later.

Abdullah: *realizes the carpet responds well to compliments*. Housemate #2: "He's talking to it like it's Calcifer!" Me: *hurriedly keeps reading before I can start snickering*

The genie: "[The soldier] appeals to me. He shines with dishonesty." The housemates: *gasp* "It's Howl!"

Some time later, while the genie is whining over something: "Maybe the genie is Howl?"

Honestly, they are extremely eager for someone to turn out to be Howl, and it's hilarious.

It's also even more funny for me, because there are so many hints about who everyone is, but also there's like five million side comments that just make you think of Howl. I haven't read this book in long enough that I forgot just how many there are.

Housemate #1: "Wait, the soldier doesn't have a name?"

Which is true, and I technically remembered that, and I want to come up with reasons why that could have tipped the reader off to the soldier being more than he seems, but it's not quite coming together right now.

Current running theory is that Midnight is actually Flower-in-the-Night, since Midnight is obviously more sentient than an average cat. I am refusing to confirm or deny anything.

[atypical-irritant]

Are we really still deliberating on the validity of endogenic systems? Seriously? I feel like this dead horse has been kicked to a pulp at this point, or am I missing something?

Let me get this off my chest. DID is a disorder that excels at masking itself, even from the person with the disorder. One of the most frequently documented ways this happens, and more specifically is disordered in nature, is through repeat, complex trauma typically during childhood. Most, in my experience, go many years before they realize they even have it. This is normal, albeit stressful and oftentimes comes with plenty of denial. We're on the same page here, correct?

Now, it's also documented that there are situations in which someone may present with similar symptoms but do not have DID or any other complex dissociative disorder. I'd even argue IFS therapy promotes a type of system-like formation to better process past trauma and internal stresses. Science also does not work in factual absolutes, otherwise it would stagnate, so exceptions to the rule must always be considered. Still with me?

It's entirely be possible someone can exist similarly to someone with a CDD without actually having one. It's also possible, due to the nature of dissociative disorders, that someone may believe they do not have a CDD when in fact, they do. These ideas can exist co-currently without issue. Yes, a system of an endogenic origin will likely present differently than someone with DID might. So will another person with DID whose trauma was very different than another's. It's almost like individual circumstances and situations create variety in a group of people.

Those of similar traits will want groups centered around like-people. This isn't exclusionary, this is called a social circle or community. The existence of someone not similar to you is not immediately a threat, you're being reactive. And for fuck's sake, the actions of malicious individuals do not inherently reflect the wider group as a whole! Especially total strangers to those said people!

I go with the stance "endo safe" because, frankly, I couldn't give any less of a shit what someone's personal matters are! Just as I don't care what some random person who frequents the same grocery store as me does with their life. All this griping about "oh, but they're stealing resources!" "they're giving us a bad name!" "they're using our terms!" is pathetic.

You all haven't managed to work this out for the better part of the last decade and somehow, beating around the same arguments, you expect this to change? How about we focus on the bigger issues for once. Can you even name any? If not, then what are we all doing beyond harassing one another like idiots?!

Try this on for a moment: if you aren't the type of person to care about what's in someone's pants, then why are you so hung up on what's in a complete stranger's mind or past? Because really, this is ridiculous.

[eoinmcgonigal]

I feel like exploring the rich, wonderful, beautiful depth of Eoin's character with actual words, so I'm just going to ramble through things! I'll start chronologically. There will, of course, be a good deal about Paddy in here too.

Eoin McGonigal (Ep. 1, part 1)

Right, okay, I literally cannot be coherent about his introduction. It appeals to me in a way I'm trying not to talk about in this post, but there's something so incredibly sexy about that strong, casual confidence, and the way he holds himself. He's just chilling by the food, watching the world go by in his fuckin grubby undershirt. Relaxed guy pose. He's at ease on his own.

His smile as he hears Paddy's voice is just so lovely. The way he quotes Matthew, and welcomes him back without question even though he has questions. He's clearly taken the time to get to know Paddy, and his approach to the issue (he knows there's an issue) is to let Paddy come to him. He isn't aggressive, confrontational, demanding, etc. and does nothing to set Paddy on edge.

Now, Eoin knows something happened. A message came through for Paddy, who was supposed to be in hospital, but had taken himself off somewhere. Eoin's concern comes through in that scene, and also his sternness. But! He lets Paddy explain. He listens to the reason for Paddy being 'detained' (of course Paddy would explain it like that), and nudges here and there (i.e. "for having no ID?" he doesn't believe it, but his questions aren't direct interrigations, he lets Paddy get round to telling him his story in his own way). You can tell he's used to this man. He knows him. And he is concerned for him and can see where Paddy's temperament is going to lead. After confirming that Paddy was arrested, it's that "were you identified?". Of course, Paddy gives a funny answer, a very Paddy answer, but it's one of the first things Eoin checks - if Paddy is safe here - before he learns anything else.

The problem here is that Eoin can see where this is all going to eventually lead. He tells Paddy he really will end up being hung. And Paddy just shrugs it off with the line about hanging supposedly being an exquisite death. Paddy doesn't really care about the consequences of his actions, he's definitely a dreamer, whereas Eoin is living very much in the real world. He is absolutely Paddy's anchor, and putting up with a monumental amount of shit in a man who just throws himself at whatever takes his fancy without any regard for the result just so long as he, Paddy, gets to do what is right by him.

Eoin also just... automatically feeding Paddy. It seems to still be morning, perhaps appraoching lunch time. He can probably tell that Paddy either hasn't bothered to remember to eat, or what he's eaten isn't going to have been good enough. And, knowing Paddy had absconded from hospital, he probably did expect Paddy to turn up at some point (or the MPs). His line where he tells Paddy that the soup is the gazelle that Paddy shot... the emphasis on it, there's weight there that reads to me as "see, you're needed here, you contribute in a way that matters, and that's valuable". And also the fact that the little "thank you" to Paddy's comment about it being good means that Eoin cooked the gazelle that Paddy shot. Eoin finds ways to keep himself busy, but keeping Paddy occupied is next to impossible.

When Eoin sits down and touches Paddy, the way he gently rubs his fingers there to make it more than a passing touch... It feels far more for Paddy's benefit than Eoin's. Eoin is trying to pull Paddy back, ground him in what is real. He absolutely does not laugh at Paddy's bullshit dismissal about being hung. Just an 'okay I heard that' little nod, then to the heart of the issue: Why did you leave the hospital?

Now, the first time I watched the show, it really struck me that Paddy went on to openly describe something that he found incredibly embarrassing. Like, really embarrassing. And he just tells Eoin???? It was a little bit funny, almost had a touch of exposition about it because why would you do that? Well, you'd do that if you trusted the person. What was mortifying to Paddy around the nurses he feels safe with around Eoin. And I don't think he'd feel that safe around anyone else. He is so closed off for the rest of the show - admittedly after Eoin's death - but he doesn't seem to have that easiness with anyone else. He trusts Eoin. And it's more than just 'I like this guy', it's 'this guy has earned my trust'. Eoin is someone who has inspired that in a man happiest in his own head, away from other people. Eoin is someone who felt safe enough for a guarded, unsettled man like Paddy to let in.

It's also at that point that Eoin gets the whole story from Paddy. Someone pissed him off. Paddy reacted the way Paddy does, and was arrested. Case closed. Eoin doesn't like it, but accepts it, and then moves on to giving Paddy the message.

I also think, because of how long this is, that I'll start another post for the rest of episode 1's ramblings ^^

[Eoin meta] [Part 2]

[squarebracketsmileyface]

A Pearl by Mitski is kinda post Jaylex into Jam territory if you think about it.

Hello? Mind reader?? You are so correct???

This is even better mind reading because of what I was writing like right before I remembered i had this ask and wanted to answer it and shit. Like???? This is very much post Jaylex and into Jam, BUT it is also post Jaylex the first time they "broke up" oh my god.

Hang on, I'll explain it with the lyrics lol

Lyric analysis time because for some reason this is like my favourite thing to do when I wanna think about sorry its locked but can't actually write it for whatever reason.

You're growing tired of me You love me so hard and I still can't sleep You're growing tired of me And all the things I don't talk about

SO ABOUT THAT POST JAYLEX'S FIRST 'BREAK UP' ehehhehehehehehheheh. Right, so, after Alex started dating Amy in college, Jay did (eventually) start trying to, like, date and have sex with other people. He never really managed to date anyone, it was always just not-quite-actually-casual casual sex. And they always ended up getting tired of Jay, because they were trying their best and he was hung up on Alex still (and would be for the next rest-of-his-life) And Jay never actually talked to them about why he was the way he way, just learned to warn them ahead of time to try and scare them away so that he wouldn't end up getting hurt when they inevitably got too upset with him over something and broke it off with him.

And, obviously. Yeah, Jam. Jay's so worried that the same thing that happened with Alex and all the other people is gonna happen with Tim, and if it did it'd probably break him even worse than Alex did, honestly. Purely because the stuff with Tim would stack on top of the stuff with Alex and they'd become one thing and Jay would just not know how to deal with that literally at all.

Sorry, I don't want your touch It's not that I don't want you Sorry, I can't take your touch

Pre first Jaylex break up. Yeah. One of the reasons Jay got broken up with by at least one person was that they were meant to behaving casual sex, and Jay went through a period of time where he just, really really couldn't. Which like, fair, and fair i guess for the person being like, yeah i'll go find someone else to have sex with. but also they did it in a nasty way so never mind, fuck them lmao. (I just love putting Jay through shit lmao, I'm so sorry to that poor guy, I need to write a lil fluffy oneshot of him and Tim just being okay)

It's just that I fell in love with a war Nobody told me it ended And it left a pearl in my head And I roll it around every night Just to watch it glow Every night, baby, that's where I go

Ow. Just. Ow.

Cos, yeah, Jay did. He really, really did fall in love with a war didn't he? That whole relationship with Alex was just this constant series of battles with himself and his feelings for Alex, and battles with Alex himself because of how he treated Jay and how Jay wanted to be treated. And his brain can't fully comprehend that Tim's not going to just be the exact same as everyone else, the exact same as Alex. And the thing is that Tim IS going to be different, but they're not going to have enough time for Jay's head to actually wrap itself around that so that he can believe it.

And obviously, they never could get enough time, because of all the shit with the operator, but Tim at least is holding out hope that they'll both survive is and they'll get the time afterwards.

Sorry, I don't want your touch It's not that I don't want you Sorry, I can't take your touch

Jay's so scared that having issues with intimacy is gonna fuck up his chances with Tim, but it wont. Logically he knows it wont (and I refuse to make them angsty enough that Jay wouldn't bother to say no if he didn't wanna do something) but there is still this little part of his head that says that if he goes too long not wanting to have sex, it'll somehow fuck something up.

There's a hole that you fill You fill, you fill

Also I fully intend for Jay to be very unhealthy about Tim :] Just like he was very unhealthy about Alex (especially back in college)

Poor guy's gonna fucking idolize Tim once he realizes Tim really really actually likes him. Which, y'know. Not good. Thankfully Jay's lil eventual obsession or whatever it is (idk, a hyperfixation on a person? that's what I called it. Basically, pretty much every waking thought Jay has is somehow about Tim/reminds him of Tim, if Tim is even slightly in a bad mood Jay assumes it's because of him and gets viciously terrified that Tim's going to leave him and hate him forever, he'd accept any kind of 'penance' or punishment from Tim for whatever he did wrong, if anything bad happens to Tim Jay get's violently enraged and wants to 'fix it' the quickest way possible, etc. He basically feels like Tim is perfect and he can't live without him. idk if that makes sense? I'm tired and never figured out what the fuck this thingy is, but i'm giving it to Jay)

Tim is Jay's missing piece, and Jay's going to hack at his own edges to make sure that Tim fits him, just like he did back in college to try and make Alex fit him.

He's just made up of pieces of himself and other people that he sawed off and cobbled together to make sure that the person he was in love with would perfectly 'complete' and 'fix' him.

But it's just that I fell in love with a war And nobody told me it ended And it left a pearl in my head And I roll it around every night Just to watch it glow Every night, baby, that's where I go Just to watch it glow

goddamnit now i wanna plan a fic to dive into Tim and Jay's relationship after sorry its locked and before Jay dies, just so I can make Jay not okay and Tim not okay, but their brand of not okay works well enough for the short amount of time they have together. If Jay lived they'd have the worlds messiest break up oh my god lmao.

why do i torture them like this?

[opticfile]

hello to my new bsf :D

what if, hypothetically, i asked for big brother! gilbert x gn! reader... in any style really but maybe hurt/comfort specifically... something fluffy and pure tbh, whatever you're feeling. thank youuuuu <333

✧ I LOVE IT i went a little more of a uh revenge route so i hope you dont mind!! also any emil slander is purely only for plot i love that boy

—✦ 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬 // brief emil x reader for plot, rejection, comfort from gilbert in his own weird ass way, vandalism :3, short itty bitty lil drabble

“So,” You rest your chin in your palm as you lay on your side, eyeing up the boy in front of you. “What’cha gonna do on Saturday? I was thinking-”

“I’m going to the dance.” Emil responded, boredly, the light of his phone illuminating his face.

“Wait, huh?” You sat up a bit, “Emil Steilsson going to a school dance? You never go to those.”

“Alice asked me to go with her.”

“...You’re going to the dance with a date?” You scrunched your nose at the thought, “And with Alice? Doesn’t she get a new guy every few months-”

Emil looked at you awkwardly, “Look, if you have an issue with Alice, that’s on you.”

You frowned at the boy, sitting up in your bed and suddenly feeling a little more conscious about how you look, “Um, I don’t, it’s just…”

Emil looked at you expectantly, his eyes dull and mouth pulled into a line before your room’s door swung open to reveal your brother’s friend.

“Emil,” Matthias grinned, “We gotta head out, Lukas says its past your bedtime, kid.”

“Yeah, whatever.” Emil grumbled, “He acts like I’m 12.”

Emil stood up and slung his backpack over his shoulder, walking out of your room without a goodbye. You assume the dejection in your heart was also visible on your face because after Matthias slapped the back of Emil’s head, he glanced over with a concernedlook.

“You okay?” 

“Yup, just tired.” You nodded.

“Alright, cya.”

Matthias shut the door and you heard his voice blend in with your brothers’ and with Emil’s. Emil’s, it was a hard pill to swallow that he was going on a date with some girl, even if your pining was kept behind closed doors and he probably only hung out with you because you were his brother’s friend’s little sibling and the older boys pushed him away from their activities. You were a little angry, actually, and a lot sad. Maybe it's better to get the rejection out of the way now instead of when it’s someone you're really in love with, right?

But… it still hurt.

And your nose still tickled with the urge to cry as you stood from your bed and took off your sweatshirt, which, actually, was just Emil’s old sweatshirt. You wanted to burn it but you also knew that was extreme. You wanted to laugh and cry and pull out your hair and commit violence, but mostly you just wanted this wave of emotions to be over. 

A knock—one, two, three—rang out through your room.

You threw Emil’s sweater to your floor to be forgotten and cracked open the door, shoving your knee and head into the crack and scowling at the annoying albino in front of you.

“What do you want, Gil.”

“What happened to hello?” Gilbert snickered, “How are you?”

“You don’t get that.” You sneered, moving to close your door quickly before he shoved his foot in the crack, and when he did, you shut it harder.

“Hey, fucking chill,” Gilbert grimaced, “You’re so violent, what happened to the baby of the family?”

“Shut up, dude.” You rolled your eyes, attempting to push his foot out of the doorway, but alas, it was too late. He had his arm in the doorway and soon his entire body emerged through.

“So cruel.” Gilbert frowned, ruffling your hair as he looked around, “You should clean.”

“Don’t remind me, dickwad.” You took a jab at his ribcage.

“Jesus, this is even worse teenage angst than usual.” Gilbert rubbed his side, “Why is your favorite sweatshirt on the floor.”

“It’s not mine and it's not my favorite,” You crossed your arms, plopping down on the beanbag Emil resided on just ten minutes earlier.

“I know it’s Emil’s, but like, you wear it everywhere.” He kicked it under your bed and sat himself upon it.

For a few minutes, silence enveloped you both as you stared at your floor and Gilbert fiddled with some knick-knack he got off your side table.

“So what’s wrong?”

“What?” You glanced up to meet Gilbert, “Why would something be wrong.”

“You’re extra angsty and angry tonight.”

“Maybe it’s because someone barged into my room-”

“And Matthias said you looked sad when he grabbed Emil.” 

You knew your brother. You knew what he was like when he was happy, when he was joking around or making fun of you, and when he was being serious and genuine. And now? You can't find an ounce of joking in his tone as he stares you down.

“I know you better than you think, kid.” Gilbert said, “I was around when you were little, too, and you acted just like this when something upset you. You’d throw your socks at me-”

A worn sock hit his face.

“...I see that hasn’t changed.” Gilbert snorted, “So talk to me, what’s wrong? Who do I need to punch?”

“...” You clenched your jaw, “Okay, but everything we discuss stays in this room and you never tell Matthias or any of your friends.”

“Deal.”

“So…” You bounced your knee, “Emil-”

“Knew it, I’m gonna beat his ass.” Gilbert stood from your bed with clear intent and you had to dive out of your seat to grab him because he was definitely going to follow through here.

“Hold on! No killing!” You pulled at him and he let you, falling back into the bed.

“What did that brat do?” Gilbert grumbled, arms crossed.

“Um… it’s not like he did anything to me or anything…” You frowned, “Actually, he didn’t really do anything wrong so it’s not a big deal-”

“Y/n,” Gilbert cut you off, “It doesn’t matter what he did, you are hurt. I cannot allow that.”

You pulled your legs up on the beanbag and took a deep, mildly shaky breath as emotions began flowing. 

“I, um, I liked him and… uh… he’s going to the dance with someone else.”

“Are you kidding me?” Gilbert began.

‘It’s stupid, I know-’

“What a little prick.” He grumbled, “He’s always a dick to you, you deserve better.”

You frowned, “Don’t be mean to him, Gil-”

“I don’t care if you like him, it’s true, he barely acknowledges you.”

“Gil, stop it.”

“The only reason he even hangs out with you is because we won’t let him do shit with us-”

“I get it, okay.” You threw another sock at him, “I know I never had a chance but you don’t have to be a jerk about it, just go away, Gil…”

Gilbert stopped his rant as you sunk into your beanbag, turning your eyes away from him as they watered and breathing in that stuttery way you breathe when you cry. His hands dropped to his lap as he leaned forward.

“Hey, I didn’t mean it like that…”

“I don’t care.” You turned even farther away from him, refusing to meet his face.

“I just mean he’s not worth anything, he’s a loser and always looks bored. You can do better, he didn't even deserve you talking to him, and he’s a jerk if he doesn't realize that.”

You frowned as you stayed statue-still in your chair, processing his words as his sentence finished and he sat in silence for a moment.

“Y/n, talk to me.” Gilbert frowned, inching over on your bed to reach you, placing his hand on your shoulder and rubbing it comfortingly. “I’m sorry.”

“...”

“I have an idea.” He spoke, mischief in his voice.

“Throw it like you’re throwing a baseball into his eye!” Gilbert shouted from the tree above you.

You launched the toilet paper roll in your hands at him, a trail of it fluttering in its wake before he caught it.

“That would be a black eye.” He whistled, wrapping the toilet paper in the branches and further vandalizing his best buddy’s front yard.

“I want to crack his skull open with a baseball bat!” You seethed, picking up another toilet paper roll.

“Holy, relax, I don’t make enough to get you a good lawyer.” Gilbert laughed obnoxiously.

You threw another roll over a branch, jogging over to retrieve the roll off of Emil’s family’s lawn and tossing it up again to get stuck in some twigs way up high.

Speaking of Emil’s family.

“What the hell are you doing?” Matthias shouted from his window on the second floor.

“Your brother is a prick,” Gilbert shouted back.

“Which one?”

“Emil, the little brat.” Gilbert sneered, pulling a spraypaint can out of his sweatshirt’s front pocket, “Broke Y/n’s heart.”

“You said you wouldn’t tell!” You shouted, throwing a roll into Gilbert’s head just for him to wave you off.

“Aw, really?” Matthias frowned, “I thought they were cute together.”

“Yeah well he’s going to the dance with a whore!” You shouted up, “I hope he gets STDs!”

Gilbert erupted in laughter and Matthias snorted, “I’ve never heard you say whore, man you’re getting older…”

Gilbert shook the paint can before Matthew stumbled over his words to object, something about it won't come off and Tino will have his head. But Gilbert, the daredevil he is, pressed down on the can and sprayed a bright red stripe into the trunk.

“Holy shit, you’re gonna die.” Matthias rubbed his head.

“He can come at me,” Gilbert continued spraying, “He’s lucky I don’t spray this directly on Emil!”

It was going to be hard to look Emil in the eye after this one.

✧ navigation.

[caffstrink]

your points about omori are so real but i also think the story isnt even that good like the "twist"... like not only does it not really make sense logistically (puts on my cinemasins goggles for a minute) how did two small kids drag an older girl into the woods to hang her without getting noticed and also why even come to that conclusion instead of making it look like more of an accident in the original scene (takes off my cinemasins goggles sorry about that) but i felt like it was kind of cheapened when it wasnt her killing herself. like he still couldve blamed himself for that because he wasnt there for her and didnt notice the signs but its like no he accidentally pushed her down the stairs. (and then framed it as a suicide which Was indeed actually a bad thing to do so yeah man you should feel a little guilty) but that could just be me being an enjoyer of explorations of suicide and its aftermath in stories

Honestly the twist was the only praiseworthy thing i found in the game and even so it wasn't enough to redeem the whole journey to get there imo. I think my opinion happens to be the opposite of yours bc mari comitting suicide would've been too simple, too expected, whileas sunny accidentally causing her death is what explains the guilt that makes him repress his emotions/identity and choose to live in his imagination. Theres 2 main big issues i have with it though, and since you've given me the opportunity I'll rant about it.

If i remember right at the time of her death mari was 15 while sunny/basil were 11 or 12, so i don't think it would be far-fetched for the two to carry her body together, although hanging her from the tree would be difficult. As for no one noticing i think that's actually pretty normal as far as these cases go, you'd be surprised at how many murders happen in broad daylight in suburban areas where there's neighbors walking outside yet no one notices bc they're not looking at someone's backyard to see some guy burying a dead body (if you watch those murder documentaries you'd be surprised at how common these cases tend to be). Basil trying to frame it as suicide is honestly a very very stupid idea, but considering their age and the situation it does make sense since they were panicking and people have 0 braincells when they're panicking.

The main reason i liked this twist though, may be because of how i perceived the scene where we see mari's hanging body and how it had an eye open, i thought it implied mari could be still alive when they hung her, and the uncertainty of it is what wouldve plagued sunnys psyche for the following years. Idk that was what i thought at least, but i don't recall seeing anyone else point out mari possibly still being alive when she was hung, so it may be just me.

Now here's the rant part. The game subtly implies that sunny's parents knew it wasn't a suicide. And by subtly i mean in a HIDDEN ROOM YOU HAVE TO ACCESS THROUGH ALTERING VALUES IN THE GAME FILES instead of, i don't know, in the annoying dragged out black space horror segment? Anyway in that room you see a shadow of what looks to be Sunnys father chopping down the tree and he says "you're no son of mine" or something along those lines (its been a while so i forgot the exact quote). PLUS its kind of obvious maris body wouldve been taken to be analyzed and theyd for sure see the head trauma that caused her death, but since it was accidental and both sunny and basil were minors, it's likely they went unpunished and Sunny's parents covered up with the suicide story so the others wouldn't think of them as murderers.

Why the hell does the game never mention his parents except on the real world? Its shown they divorced after mari died, did sunny not really care about that? Why does his ugly pastel escapism fantasy not have any mention to them? Did he not feel guilty about the grief he caused his parents? WHY IS IT NOT MENTIONED IN THE GAME AND ONLY IN A HIDDEN ROOM

And the second thing is the reasons that caused the incident in first place, it felt like it couldve been explored much more than it was. Like ok i get it, sunny didnt actually want to play violin, his friends thought he did and he was too afraid to disappoint them when they bought him one. But the main thing he mentions he hates about it in his diary is that he needs to practice on saturdays and misses 1 hour of cartoon watching with his friends. Like man. Come on. Priorities i guess? There wasn't any pressure of someone moving away, or someone leaving for college, or anything like it that would explain why sunny needed that 1 hour of cartoon watching with everyone so badly that it emotionally distressed him to that level.

My second complaint is how Mari is treated like a pure saint through all of the game, which was kind of a missed opportunity to have shown that she also was flawed and not always the kind big sister he idealized her to be in his mind (it could've also been shown that the Saint Mari in his brain is due to his guilt, but no, apparently she was just was like that irl too), the only flaw mari had was that she was perfectionist about the piano recital and pressured sunny about it? Like come on man there could've been more here. We could've had accepting mari was a flawed human as a part of sunnys recovery so he can move on from itn but instead mari is just a perfect angel through all of the game who unfortunately was accidentally killed by her younger brother bc she got upset he broke his violin on purpose like any 15 year old would. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz