#also idk if i play two truths and a lie differently than other people but. i was prepared for cross examination.

[in-tua-deep]

wait i just remembered. on friday we has a "awesome committee" staff meeting which is apparently just a meeting for staff to like. bring food. play games. and bond with each other? and this week we played two truths and a lie

mine were i have only broken one bone and it wasn't even my fault (lie), i'm the youngest of five children (true), and i dislocated my arm six times before the age of seven (also true)

so many people picked the youngest of five children as the lie. one person commented that they thought i might have four sibling but i don't give off youngest child energy or something

what does that mean

what. what energy do i give off. what birth order vibe do i have. i just remember this happened and it has been haunting me ever since

[theropoda]

...... i have. PRAWBLEMS. with the ending but honestly i felt very unwell and gross rn so i had difficulty focusing in the first place, maybe if i watch it again when i feel better ill feel different. under read more bc this got long lol

disclaimer before anyone GETS at me: i am not a critic. im literally just some guy watching a tv show, and i am really more confused than anything so if you really enjoyed the finale and feel like it was the perfect way for the show to end im happy for you! i don't have any intent on arguing it Absolutely Wasn't. this isn't a Hatepost. just me airing my thoughts. that are probably really incoherent bc again, i feel unwell ;_; brain is more focused on my stomach than this damn show

i knew how this was gonna end, i did watch the end of this show before, ive always been familiar w house because i watched episodes of it on tv as a kid with my mom and sister and knew major plot points like amber's death and wilson's cancer and house faking his death and everything but. the details were lost on me. now that i know the details something about them just doesn't jive with me and feel right.

probably related to my earlier post about how even in the final season so much of house is the same. he tried to change for the better but he was still back. i mean the entire premise of the show is about "the disabled addict doctor who struggles to be a person" so if any of these magically stopped being there that'd be stupid ESPECIALLY him being a disabled addict which are so central to his character. so im definitely not complaining about that.

initially i thought him faking his death was insanely reckless but what other choice was available. if he went, Hey, im here! im alive he'd absolutely be going to jail. in jail so far away while his best friend, maybe his only friend would be dying alone. of course he did that. his only choice was ttofake his death to be with wilson. throwing away his whole life and legacy and career and reputation to be with him.

hilson endgame real but also, while watching the whole show i kept going from "tumblr didn't lie these guys are gay" to "Tumblr may have oversold it a bit". but that might just be in the nature of its episodic structure. not e everything is abt wilson there's other people in house's lofe but in that final season everything does speed up, suddenly and become about wilson. which brings me to the whole cancer thing. in my memory of the show from watching it as a kid, Wilson's cancer came up as a plot point WAY earlier and there is much more time to discuss it in the show. to ponder and delve into it, what it means for wilson, for house, for the show. but actually watching the show it feels very sudden....! i felt like the entire cancer thing, which plays so damn heavily into the SERIES FINALE, wasn't explored enough...? it felt rushed. but it might feel like it because well there's a difference between watching a show as it comes out on a schedule vs binge watching it on demand.

and another thing that irked me is- but this is more of a "this personally makes me Feel Sad and Weird" as opposed to genuine criticism is how EVERYONE thinks house is dead except Two People. that's crazy. i have a Thing for closure and knowing things, the truth, im a little paranoid about that, but it just feels insane to me that house's own parents, family, former and current colleges, lovers, everyone... they all think he's dead when he's not. i see how that is, in terms of the Narrative, a good thing? house is truly FREE now. and if other people knew they'd probably call the police. but also that's just kinda horrifying.... I don't know. idk. also wtf cuddy wasn't there at the funeral? D: obviously i know how their last meeting went but they were such big part of each other's lives im rlly shocked she wasn't there! or even showed up at ALL in the ending scene where we see where everyone's life has headed, a little scene of her, Rachel, and someone new

and also. ._. how did that fire even start in the first place?..... did i miss something....? uaaaaah. i should watch it again

ugh but despite my peeves. i want to pass this off as Just another show ive watched, time to move on to the next, because a big part of the reason i started house and kept going and even chose to watch it at the times i did was because i have been going through some rough shit mentally for the past. entire year plus. i have relied on it to keep me distracted. i want to just move onto the next distraction but i have become so attached, it's hard to not feel :/ and :( about 1) the fact it's over now 2) it ended in a way that makes me feel funny, and not in a good way. aaaahhhhh.

[homunculus-argument]

Lmao okay, the time is up, so it's time to do the Explanation Breakdown:

I do, indeed, have a cockroach tattooed on my back. It's a very tasteful black and white piece of the insect. It serves as my reminder of how little other peoples' opinions matter - the entire world could hate you and wish you dead, but all you need to do in order to survive is to be really hard to kill.

This one is also true. The person in question is my grandmother. The picture in question is a childhood photo of me, my sister, and our cousin, at the ages of about 5-7, playing in grandma's garden in nothing but sun hats. Finnish culture has no nudity taboo, but there is a distinct division between sexual and non-sexual nudity, and naked children are unqestionably the latter type, so these are simply perfectly normal baby pictures just as much as fully clothed ones. Obviously not ones you can post online, but not weird to have in family albums. Or framed in your kitchen, I guess.

This is the false one. I was born without wisdom teeth.

While most things on the list are technically correct but trickily worded, this one is 100% straightforward true. I had been on HRT for a little over a year when we met, and my chosen name is old-fashioned enough to give just a little bit of "idk it could be gender-neutral" wiggle room, and since the finnish language doesn't have gendered pronouns, so asking what pronouns I use wasn't an option. However, as a bisexual and a determined goblinfucker, he figured he's perfectly fine with all possible options.

This is the one that wins me every "two truths and a lie" round. Also straightforwardly true. The eastern white pelicans of London Zoo, which apparently turn pink during mating season, and they were beating the shit out of each other either because it was mating season, or just because pelicans are dicks in general.

True by technicality. My family was always toxic, but my sister smacking my hat on the floor of a church with zero warning was the final straw. Our mother agreed that she was right to correct me, but our disagreement was about whether my sister could have verbally communicated her dismay before resorting to physically correcting me more harshly than she would ever handle a dog.

Speaking of which, this one is also true. My sister's dog was a fine and honourable, law-abiding man who understood commands to such astonishing degree that he could deliberately refuse to comply if he was ordered to do something he was Not Allowed To Do. However, if shit got real and push comes to shove, he would turn into a rage-blind berserk that made no difference between friend or enemy. And our mother's dog was such an annoying jackass that he could've made the patron saint of dogs want to kick him. I grabbed my sister's dog by the collar to pull him away, and he grabbed me by the arm with his teeth.

The fact that "my sister threw me headfirst against a doorknob" has been deemed the Least Likely To Be Bullshit is fascinating. To be entirely fair to her, we were both under five years old and it was an accident. She had one end of a skipping rope tied around her waist, and I was holding the other end. She ran faster than I could, and when she turned a sharp corner, Newton's first law of motion got to me and I kept moving forward, right at the balcony doorknob. We had been unsupervised because mom had trusted us to be smarter than that.

This is medically unverifed as of yet, but there's been enough reason to suspect it that I've gotten blood tests done about it. I'm yet to hear of the test results, though. But if it is true and I have an unusually high toxin metabolism, I blame the rampant alcoholism of my father's bloodline.

Back when I tried to become a nurse, I had the opportunity to do one stint of the on-the-job training in a nursing home in Spain. While most of the residents were brits who had moved to the country to spend their retirement years, there were plenty of native spanish residents. One of them was an old lady who kept repeating the same litany over and over again, until I could also recite it by heart. I figured it was a prayer from the few words I could recognise, and in my free time I could look up what the words mean. It's still the only catholic prayer I know.

I'm quite sure this one won by landslide because I neglected to consider Tumblr's fae-like instinct to interpret everything differently than what you meant to say. By "fault" I do not mean that I blame myself or Deserve To Be Punished, naturally I did the best choices I could at the time with the information I had. But nonetheless every ambulance ride I've ever been on was somehow caused by my own actions. If we assume that we live in an universe where free will exists and our actions are not predetermined by fate, I could have avoided every single weewoo-ride of my life by making better choices.

This one simply legit happened. I was drunk home alone listening to mongolian folk metal, and it occurred to me that it would be fucking sick to know how to do that. I somehow managed to find a guy online who offered to teach me - not a fully fledged master himself yet, but we agreed that it would be mutually beneficial to have him teach me throat singing while he could practice giving lessons. We were supposed to do them through Discord, added each other, and forgot all about it. 2020 was a weird year.

[stillness-in-green]

Idk if my other ask went through but it was What do you think of the AFO saved Touya and nudged him to the path of villainy theory? Or something like that I forgot what I said exactly. I don’t think it’d be as explicit as Tomura more like AFO saved Touya and he, or Garaki more likely, somehow let Touya see what Endeavor was saying and doing at home with Shouto. And Touya is like F that and stays away all depressed until he was inspired by Stain. Giran the memory guy probably had something to do with him too.

(Sliding this in the day before Leaks Day, so laying out the clown costume in advance.)

Thanks for the question, anon! Though as a note for context on my perspective in the rest of this post, I admit that I’m unsure what you mean about AFO and Ujiko showing Touya what Endeavor was saying and doing with Shouto at home. After all, the canon suggests that mostly what Endeavor was doing in the immediate wake of Touya’s disappearance was…looking for Touya. Usually when I see people suggest this theory, it’s based on the idea that AFO and Ujiko somehow misled Touya into thinking that his family didn’t care that he’d gone out and self-immolated, not that they showed him some horrible truth. I rather doubt there’s much they could truthfully reveal to him about Shouto’s situation that a) he doesn’t already know and b) would change his mind about any of the extremely negative conclusions he’s already come to.

So that angle, the idea that AFOUji somehow manipulated Touya towards villainy, is what I wrote the bulk of this response in regards to.

Spoilers: I don’t much care for it.

Hit the jump for the rest!

I certainly recognize why it exists: Dabi’s missing ten years raises eyebrows because he had to have been hideously wounded, and we know Endeavor kept looking for him for some while after the fire, and he was all of thirteen years old, yet even with all of those factors in play, he was somehow never found, and just vanished for a full decade. It’s a puzzle whose answers require resources, medical care, and, some people believe, a desire to twist Touya towards hatred.

Personally, I don’t really think the child we saw in the flashbacks needed much help to get to where we find Dabi psychologically. The resentment, the violent tendencies, the misanthropy; it’s all there.(1) And Toga was only two years older when she went on the run—less than two, even, since Sekoto Peak happening in the winter would have meant Touya was right on the cusp of his fourteenth birthday.

There’s really no getting around the need for medical care, though, and the number of people we already know who have both the skill to save Touya and the willingness to keep his identity a secret is pretty much one.

That said, seeing as my primary interest in the manga is the way in which it depicts Hero Society as a flawed institution that creates its own monsters, I would really prefer Ujiko and/or AFO to not be involved at all, or at least for their involvement to be as minimal as possible. Shigaraki is one thing, but the people he has attracted to his cause (such as it is) are quite another, and every speck of the blame that you allow to fall on All For One is another handwaved excuse for Hero Society to refuse to examine itself and change its ways.

And okay, All For One isn’t terrible as a metaphor for the dark forces that prey on vulnerable people when law-abiding, “normal” society fails them, but the trouble is where the story's focuses lie, and what it presents as the proper way to resolve its ultimate battle. There is an inestimable difference between a final battle against Shigaraki that revolves around saving him while also confronting his truths and a final battle against AFO that revolves around saving his voiceless and subsumed victims from him before defeating him once and for all. Saving Shigaraki in a battle against Shigaraki means acknowledging that he is his own person, with his own motivations and his own crimes, and that he deserves to be saved anyway—that he always deserved to be saved, because everyone deserves to be saved. Conversely, saving Shigaraki in a battle against AFO prioritizes saving people from villains without ever acknowledging how society wronged them for them to wind up in a villain’s hands to begin with.(2)

To bring this back to Touya, if AFO is in some fashion responsible for making him, it reduces the weight of Endeavor’s sins and those of Dabi himself. It puts the blame on some outside force and lets people get away with saying, “If it weren’t for him, poor innocent Touya would never have become the villain Dabi!”

But that’s dodging a much harder and crueler truth. The actual message of making AFO responsible for Dabi while simultaneously focusing the endgame solely on defeating him is, “If it weren’t for him, poor innocent Touya would never have become the villain Dabi—because he would have died on Sekoto Peak.”(3)

In both scenarios, Dabi was empowered by someone, and he’s sympathetic either way. However, the scenario in which he finds his voice because Stain/Shigaraki stood up to draw society’s malcontents out of the shadows allows Dabi to be sympathetic while preserving his agency and the accusations he levels at Hero Society. It asks the heroes and the readers alike to consider the question, “How did this innocent child become so warped as to become such a dangerous villain?”

The scenario in which Ujiko and All For One set him on the path to villainy, meanwhile, maintains the sympathy but throws the rest in the garbage to instead say, “This innocent child became so warped because these villains did it to him.” It conspicuously avoids forcing the heroes and readers to confront the question, “And what would have happened if they hadn’t?”

Shigaraki just gave Touya a platform; what he said once he got up there was all him. But in the scenario you’re asking about, All For One didn’t give Touya the platform; he handed him the speech. And if Hori tells the audience that Touya’s words are All For One’s words after spending two hundred and ninety chapters telling us that All For One’s words are nothing but manipulative lies meant to lead people astray, it strips those words of all but the barest veneer of their power.

I pretty much laid all this out here two years ago, and, barring us having more information on Mr. Compress now than we did then, and me having adopted a more nuanced view of what quirks are valued in HeroAca!Japan’s heroes,(4) I still stand by that post. AFO shaping Shigaraki is one thing, but the more he’s involved with the backstories of everyone else, the more it undercuts the legitimacy of the villains’ grievances. I see no reason for Dabi to be the exception.

All my ranting about the narrative themes of the series on the whole aside, Giran’s quirk only affects five minutes on either side of him making physical contact with the victim. Not to say you couldn’t do some damage that way, certainly, but it would hardly have let All For One reshape Touya’s entire mental landscape according to his nefarious whims. At most, if AFOUji kept the contact short and had Giran on hand to begin with, they could make sure Touya couldn’t remember their faces clearly—but then where’s the guarantee that anything they revealed/manipulated him to believe would stick, either? Again, he could have been involved, and one might even say, “Why tell us his quirk if it’s never going to be relevant?” but all the scenarios I can imagine off the top of my head seem awfully convoluted.

Sorry if any of this came off as too negative! It’s tied into a lot of the places where I am most Ornery and Opinionated about this series and how it handles its villains. But thanks again for the ask!

---

1: Which is not to say that I think Touya was born twisted or anything; that’s 100% on Endeavor’s head.

2: Much like All Might being completely ready to beat Shigaraki into a paste right up until the instant he finds out Shigaraki’s real name. Or Deku seeing inner-Shigaraki as the crying boy clutching his dog instead of the furious boy covered in his father’s blood. Or Deku blaming All For One for Lady’s Nagant’s fate while disregarding the fact that it was the HPSC who set her on that path to begin with. Or lots of things, many of them about Deku, that have me very worried about where this story is heading.

3: An outcome people like Gran Torino clearly and explicitly would have preferred.

4: I used the phrase “flashy and offensive” because it’s pithy and I was seeing it around everywhere, but these days I tend towards thinking it’s overly reductive. Crust alone disproves that you need a flashy or offensive power to be a top hero.

[poisonouswritings]

Ok, be warned, you did ask

Consider the fact that Astraea is a land of magic. Extend it to general fantasy. What is a popular creature in fantasy? DRAGONS. MC LEARNS THAT DRAGONS ARE REAL AND GOES ON A QUEST TO TAME ONE (if they aren't already used as some method of transport (akin to horses) (idk about fully domesticated dragons tho, I feel like feral/wild dragons are a given here but then again it seems like Astraea could potentially have domesticated ones))

Sage: MC you don't know what you're getting yourself into.

MC: I read the how to train your dragon book series. I'm practically an expert.

While funky /pos as a concept, I find it even better to think about it worldbuilding wise as this opens up a very exciting idea, exploration, and how it affects the developments of civilizations (along with various other choices to talk about but I'll get there lol).

We earthbeings were grounded for a significant portion of our existence and only started flying a little more than a century ago which is small in the amount of time that humanity has existed (for this I'm specifying builders (stone wall in Theopatra cave, about 23000 years ago, humanity has been around for a while and even then there could be older structures)). Anyway my point with that was flight is a highly new concept in human history, it potentially wouldn't be with dragons in the mix.

The existence of dragons also opens up ideas for social structures, conflict, and statuses. Not to mention professions and how people interact with this species (and making those species omfgggg my writer brain and inner child are having a field day (seriously there is so much fun to have with this concept :D)).

There's also fun cultural stuff that one can play with. Religion, fashion, art, etc.

Dragons in hunter gatherer and neolithic societies would be especially useful for tools and war. Clothing out of hides, armor out of scales, weapons made of the strong and sharp materials, would maps be easier to make?

Imagine a social/political conflict. Let's say the American civil war, now imagine how that would go if they had dragons. Everything has a trade. But I digress, warfare in this case is quite the interesting idea. At least in the socioeconomic state of the current time in the game the warfare status is easy, swords, magic, maybe a battle-axe if we're feeling particularly lethal. However if we were to go centuries into the future, would their technology be like ours?

Could dragons have access to magic? What could one do with their body parts? Are dragons more valuable alive or dead? (I'm answering this question, alive for sure but then that answer also depends on the profession of the person being asked). What kinds of technological advancements could be made with those parts? (I could very easily go off into a tangent but thankfully I won't)

Unfortunately there are fallacies to my headcanons. Dragons would be presumably large, and if were in fact part of civilization, Porrima, Rivath, Mournfall, and other populated areas are lacking in such a resource. At least from what has been given to us by the game. We don't even have mention of dragons.

But fortunately that doesn't mean that we can't make up our own worldbuilding ideas and hopefully you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. :3

Ooh this is a lot of interesting ideas! I like how you tied in real-world concepts and conflicts. It helps ground everything in reality (or as much reality as you can get when talking about dragons and magic).

The only canon reference we have to dragons (as far as I remember) is in Sage's route, Chapter 2, during the Two Truths and a Lie game (star choice). MC says they slayed a dragon and Sage says that's a lie because they 'would be burnt to a crisp' if they'd tried. Which is. Uh. Not a lot to go off of. But that does tell us dragons are canon and they probably are not domesticated, at least not widely. Everyone has a different canon, though, so I guess that's besides the point.

I'm fascinated by the way that dragons - specifically domesticated ones - could have shaped various societies. It makes me think of the movie April and the Extraordinary World (2015). It takes place in a world where electricity was never discovered (kinda - it's hard to explain because it takes a sci-fi turn into Lizard People and stuff) so coal and steam engines still rule the planet. As the world's population completely stripped the Earth of trees and subsequently polluted the air to the point where people carried around gas masks. Obviously the world's political powers shifted. It's a French movie so the focus is Paris but it gives you an idea of the rest of the world. It's a good movie and I recommend it. Maybe it'll even give you some more ideas?

I loved reading your thoughts!/gen Thanks for sharing. It's always really fun to see what you guys come up with, and there's something heartening about so many people still loving LL enough to think about it like this.

Idk. I kinda wanna write about dragons now. If we can have cat/rabbit/bull/deer/etc. ilephtas then presumably we can have dragon ilephtas too. That could be fun.

[cocozydiaries]

omg tysm for asking because i had to think sm about my dr more than i already had🙄 jk jk i LOVED the questions :>

long ass post again☹️

Are you like a transfer or did you get in like UA like any other student through the exams?

Okay so for this i scripted that i’m gonna to shift to my dr like a month or two before the exams. So im honestly not too sure yet?

anyways one thing i do know is i want to attempt to get into UA like completely by myself. So i havent scripted that i’m gonna get in i just want to try my best and see if i do get in.

If i flop i’m becoming a villain🙄 or maybe switching that dr to my vigilante mha dr? Jk jk if i flop i’ll probably shift to a reality where i did get in but before that i just want to know if i can get in. So yes I am going to attempt get in through the exams and not the recommendations either. Everyone say nuh uh to nepotism.

BUT

i also wanna have that at least one silly mc moment and pull up like a little late🙄 so idk might decide to be a transfer student or i might not

also another reason to be a transfer student i would hopefully get to avoid the usj incident

guys. i am so fucking scared of the usj incident.

I must know what class did you get into?

For this i scripted that IF i do get into UA i want to be in class 1A coz that’s where all the fun stuff happens but ofc i also want to be friends with the students in class 1b.

Are any of your classmates suspicious about your past?

No they don’t know much about my past. Based on the questions they ask me and the vague responses i give them they just know my parents are involved in some kind of hero work. But maybe not necessarily heroes themselves. How i love a good half truth.

So any time i demonstrate any cool quirk skills/knowledge they just assume that i’ve been training with them. Kinda like todoroki ig?

(actually on second thoughts maybe i’ll just lie about their careers entirely idk i’ll find out when i shift ig)

Are any of the pro heros like idk Mr. Aizawa aware of your past?

Since my parents sometimes work with pro heroes I have met a couple of them but Mr Aizawa specifically…?

This question is a little iffy because pro heroes might not be aware of me specifically. The way these spy agencies work is on a need to know basis. So if a spy happens to have to work or team up with a pro hero they’re probably given a rundown.

If they’re on that “need to know basis” some pro heroes might know a little bit more like the whole child spy thing. Anyone who has a hand it in probably knows.

Honestly tho considering that i’m going to UA my life is going to be pretty broadcasted anyways. Take the sports festival for instance, people were still casually recognising the students in 1A when they were out and about minding their business weeks after the sports festival.

So yeah i am gonna end up working at my parent’s company however my spy life will probably be different to what I’m expecting since by going to UA i’m announcing myself to the world. Pretty sure that’s the exact opposite of what laying low means.

For me going to UA wasn’t smth i thought i was gonna even be allowed to do but for whatever reason it was approved so chances are they must have some kind of plan for me. I’m not sure what it is so I’m pretty much in the dark.

Sooo because of that i feel like it would make sense for Mr. Aizawa to know i have some pre planned out future for me as a spy. But at the same time? Would it? Like that’s not very need to know basis but UA seems to be very aware of more than just school related things. Plus Principle Nezu is like yk Principle Nezu. Can stuff even slip past his radar?

Lowkey i’m leave this one up to my subconscious aka gonna find out once i shift because this isn’t really a me choice. My dr parents and their company can deal with that i’m just gonna see how everything plays out.

Quirk introduction when?? it is NOT enough to just tell me you flooded the place babe?

LMAOO I’m gonna make a separate post for this but my quirk is pretty basic. I’ve always liked being around water so i thought a water based quirk would just make sense. My quirk is basically water manipulation. The flooding situation was coz mini me was thirsty so she decided to be a greedy rat and accidentally caused the pipes to burst.

Who do you like to spend your time with?

So i’m guessing with this question you mean in class 1a? Or like in general?

Assuming you mean 1a (and b!!) honestly almost everyone seems pretty chill so im definitely planning on befriending a lot of my classmates. I’m also most likely gonna be the bitch constantly suggesting we hang out and arranging stuff for us as a group😭.

Thing is i already know some of the students… More on that in the next question.

Who would you consider a close friend and who do you tend to stay away from?

I would probably consider izuku and… the other one old, maybe childhood, friends? I mean i’ve known them since we were kids.

My family used to travel to japan every summer and i met them after accidentally traumatising some of the neighbourhood kids. Unfortunately i did eventually lose contact with them after the vacations had to come to an abrupt stop due to the unexpected arrival of my younger siblings. So yeah seeing them on my first day was kinda like “wtf are you two doing here?”

Even tho this question is about students at UA i would like to mention i’m also really close with my siblings! (they’re also my actual siblings in my cr i scripted in)

this has been sitting in the drafts for a hot minute and you might as well get comfy coz this is a really long post (i’m so sorry) like whatever ur thinking it is longer. i’m a yapper :(

first thing i want out of the way: THIS IS NOT AN ANGSTY BACKSTORY i’m not about that life😭🙏 i want happiness and comfort pls and thxs (some minor stuff but only coz i couldn’t think of any way around it)

@keishawantskisses @livingmydreamlife5555 i posted my mha drself intro now it’s ur move🤭 (also if anyone else plans on posting their mha drself intro PLS TAG ME)

i’m so nervous? like i dont post about my drs much😭 anyways enjoy!!

Around when i was four i was adopted into a really nice family :> (aww so sweet)

With my family both my parents work as spies for a major undercover spy based hero company that works on breaking down villains from the inside by infiltrating them (you thought this was gonna be a chill backstory huh🙄 guess again).

See a lot of “villains” aren’t the typical villains you see heroes fighting day to day. Some keep their crimes traditional. They keep themselves lowkey while their crimes affect things and lives on a big scale. With these kinds of criminals it’s pretty difficult to prove they’re doing this stuff directly.

Can’t immediately fight a criminal if they’re not technically a villian. However they are still considered villains since the use of quirks if often involved and the use of quirks is what sets aside a villain from a regular criminal. Proving it is where things get difficult (think spooky gang sorta stuff and how often they can get away with stuff but then add in quirks into the mix)

That’s why these sort of spy agencies exists. To gather intel and then weed out the rats! (They also do other stuff this was just an example)

These spy agencies are also totes government approved (not to be confused with vigilantes which are also illegal) seeing as they work pretty closely with cops and some heroes. However for obvious reasons they’re kept out of the public eye.

To compare ig people would talk about these companies in the same way most people talk about the CIA or FBI. They know they exist and sometimes make jokes about them watching people. All that good old expected stuff.

Both my parents obviously know about each other’s jobs and that’s actually how they met me!

(god this is a long post)

Growing up my parents weren’t in the picture soooo yk. Care homes ig🚶‍♀️

I was around four when my quirk manifested. Long story short i accidentally flooded the place! Luckily it wasn’t insanely dangerous (only ankle level water on the first floor) but the place i was at still decided to switch me over to a different home meant for kids with slightly more difficult quirks just in case.

This place was essentially like the other homes just more equipped to handle kids with difficult or powerful quirks. They have more supervisors on hand with less kids.

Considering how some kids are placed in care after having just undergone smth traumatic to get them there, their quirks aren’t always very stable around this period in their lives. These facilities are meant to help them adjust mentally as well as assist them with their quirks. Some kids temporarily lose their quirks. Some kids lack control over overly powerful ones. Even in care quirk privilege still exists…

Flashy quirks aren’t as common as one would think so there aren’t a lot of kids like that and even less that are in care but whenever a kid like this does appear they’re transferred to these places to help them.

My life here, although short, was actually quite nice. I got along with the staff and the other kids well enough. I was happy and like four… like what else was i gonna be? Four going though midlife crisis?

However being the society that we live in quirks are pretty important and as such they’re a highly considered aspect in the whole adopting process.

In some cases some people might want easy to handle kids and so will want quirks to match that. On the flip side some people chase those flashy quirks. Hoping to mould kids into smth worthy of it (cruel i know but it’s a cruel world).

Some people defend these kinds of people by saying that even prior to quirks a child’s physical/mental well being was always smth that was put into consideration with these kinds of choices so by following that line of thinking aren’t quirks just an extension of that?

Of course social workers will do their best to make sure kids are taken in to homes with their best interest at heart but these kinda people slip through the cracks.

However my situation was a bit like the second. I was chosen for my quirk (just like all my older siblings were). With my parents they’re basically given funding (by that lil company they work at) to support the kids under their care and help guide them to follow in their footsteps. It’s basically a sort of investment.

There’s a lot of debate as to how ethical this is. The kids are given the choice to follow through once they reach a certain age but preparing kids to be spies… yh it’s an iffy topic.

Some argue that hero schools do a similar thing since people spend their whole lives preparing for those while others think it isn’t a fair comparison from an emotional perspective. Again this is a really forked up society.

As for the kids? They don’t do any spy work until they’re old enough ofc but in some very rare cases (like with my older brother and sister) they might.

Besides what kid doesn’t want to be a spy? Also they’re given the choice and any assignments they do complete (no matter how rare) there’s a set amount of money put aside for them once they reach a certain age.

The main thing to be considered when placing these future spies into houses is their quirk’s efficiency. Take my parents for instance. My mum is more suitable for short term assignments (like guarding people or whatnot) seeing as her quirk essentially boosts her physical strength while my dad does more long term lowkey stuff (espionage) since his quirk is more subtle.

My quirk on a surface level might not suitable for spy work but it makes for a great weapon if handled correctly.

So yeah. I have a future spy turned hero sorta thing going for me. I also would very much like to clarify this isn’t a sad backstory. I had a good childhood and a decent upbringing. My parents didn’t have to take in any kids but they wanted to. Also, unlike some people, they will still consider me their kid regardless of if i decide to follow their line of work or not. Cough cough take notes endeavour cough.

[hwrryscherry]

The one where the reader is a singer

characters: HARRY x SINGER!Y/N

blurb: The reader is finishing up her brand-new album and as Harry comes to visit her on her last day of working in the studio, he gets to react to one of her songs, 34+35.

word count: 1.9K

author's note: HI GUYS! It’s been a week I think? Anyway, I’ll get back to school tomorrow so idk when imma post the next request but I’m hoping that it will be soon! Anyway, I want to thank y’all for the love and support on my writing and I hope that the anon who asked this likes it as much as I did. Never forget that you’re so golden and tpwk. AND ALSO, HAPPY 27TH BIRTHDAY TO HARRY!

    You took a deep breath right after asking for the track to be played again. To everyone else the track was perfect, but it was different for you. It just felt like something was missing and you didn't know what. And god, you were tired. You were so genuinely exhausted that if you sit up in a chair and stay silent for more than five minutes you'll simply fall asleep. You felt your eyes heaving at every blink of yours and it was only 5 pm, but you were in this studio for so long. You were inside this place for 36 hours now with no shower and no sleep. You did eat but now you were hungry again.Your shoulders were tensed up, and you couldn't feel comfortable anywhere. Not in the couch, not in the chair, not in the floor and not even stand up. All you genuinely demanded right now was to be home under your bed sheets curled up with your boyfriend of four years while taking many naps or watching many movies, but no, you needed to have this done. You needed the album to be done and were extremely thrilled to release it to your fans that were excited as well. But yes, you were so frickin' tired.

— Again... — You repeated after a long and sharp breath listening to some groans from your coworkers. You all have been listening to this one song for about an hour and a half now and you haven't actually changed anything yet. — I know, I know, and I'm sorry guys, it's just not right!

— Maybe you think it's not right, but it is and you're just making a huge deal about it. — One of your co-workers said. A girl, Lucy, one of your friends as well. You turned your head to stare at her face and gave her that glaze that made her shrug her shoulders because of it — Alright, I'm sorry.

— I'm not making a huge deal. It's just not right, and I feel like the entire album is so great and this is just wrong. Like... — You said standing up from the couch you were sitten in and walked to the table with the computers on to grab the one paper you used to write this song. You stared at it in your hands for a while as you read the letters. — See, here is the problem. So here it's "you drink it just like water" and then suddenly comes "so what you doin' tonight?", it doesn't make sense, there's something missing in here. — You go through the lyrics again as you hear more groans from the people in the room — And honestly, I'm disappointed with myself for the rest. I need to change it so badly, but I have no idea on how.

— No problem, love — You naturally said referring to his previous apologies.

   That's when you hear the sound of the door being opened. You rise your head to look at the door and see Harry, your boyfriend, walking into the room with some paper bags in his hands that contained burgers directly from In-N-Out, which was in fact your favorite Los Angeles burger place ever. He arrived in silence, trying not to make a noise for fear that you were recording something but you could note his surprised expression when he saw everyone was looking at him instead of recording.

— Sorry guys, I didn't want to disturb you. I was passing by and wanted to check up! — Harry said as he closed the door behind him and walked farther into the room. You smiled tenderly when you saw the figure of the man walking closer to you. You haven't seen each other personally in some days, and he consistently secured you so much spiritual peace, he just had such a light energy and it made you feel so good  — And also y’all had been stealing my girl for so long now! — He joked getting a slight laugh from everyone inside the studio. He approached you by wrapping your waist with one of his arms around your waist and sealing your lips together as he bends down a little.

— And Harry, technically she is maintaining us here and not the other way around — Lucy said in an ironic tone causing you to look at her quickly before letting out a deep breath and lowering your head by rubbing your sleepless eyes with the help of your hands, probably a negative result of sleep. Harry reflected the girl's words and then looked at you carefully before placing the bags on the coffee table that was next to the studio sofa.

— Why? What happened? — Harry asked encountering his gaze with yours as he crossed his arms and observed you raising your hand that contained the papers with the lyrics of your new song.

— I can't write a proper ending that I genuinely like! — You said, sounding frustrated to everyone in that room.

— The ending is good! — Another of your friends, Jaden, said as he got up and picked up one of the bags Harry had brought and then started walking again to sit on the sofa.

— Jaden, you in silence is everything to me! — You said in a mocking tone while running your hand through your hair — But you understand, don't you? — You asked Harry because he has experience with such a specific subject — It's not that it's bad, it's that I don't feel like it's ready!

— I get it! But have you already recorded? — Harry asked softly in his understanding tone. He more than anyone in this room comprehended exactly what you were feeling and he would do his best to help you since you did the same with him so many times before.

— Yes, twenty times! — Jaden murmured a little before taking a bite of one of the burgers that Harry had brought. Harry couldn't hold back the laugh when he heard the boy, as they knew each other well and Harry knew all his sassiness was based on nothing more than hunger.

— Let me hear it, so I can have some ideas to help! — Harry said looking at you, and then noticing your reaction. Your eyes widened at the man's request. It wasn't fear. It was just an apprehension and that made Harry extremely curious  — What? 

— Well... It's a little... — You said in a lower tone seeking your words.

— Promiscuous and indulgent! — Lucy and Jaden completed your sentence making Harry look at her and the boy sitting on the sofa and then Harry raised one of his eyebrows and looked at you with a smirk on his lips.

— Uh, is it about me? — Harry asked in a mocking tone, waiting for the answer that would raise his ego, of course.

— Look, let's not specify anything — You said quickly and nervously looking at the smirk on your boyfriend's face — Ok, Trevor, play the song right for the love of god! — You said getting a laugh out of Harry, Jaden and Lucy due to your despair in ending this matter.

    And Trevor did as you asked and put the song on. You sat down on the bench near the wall and crossed your arms while watching Harry's reactions. The soon as the song started everyone could notice your voice and the rhythm of it that matched the beat.

You may think I’m crazy

The way I’ve been craving

If I put it quite plainly

Just give me them babies

    You could notice Harry bouncing his head on the rhythm of the song as a sign that he liked it because you knew that he only did that to songs that he likes. And you also noticed a small smile when he listened to the end of this verse because he did remember all the times you both had talked about having a baby before.

So what you doin’ tonight?

Better say doin’ you right

Watching movies 

But we ain’t seen a thing tonight

    Again you noticed the smirk and you did smirk as well because you both knew the lack of ability that you had to watch any movie that lasted longer than two hours and you almost ended not watching anything.

I don’t wanna keep you up

But assuming can you keep it up

‘Cause then I’d like to keep you up

So maybe Imma keep you up

Boy

    Harry wasn’t looking at you, though. He was looking at the floor while bouncing his head and paying attention to the song as he was trying to catch the vibe of it and honestly you don’t know if it’s the song that had this vibe but he was looking way too hot to handle at this moment.

I’ve been drinking coffe

And I’ve been eating healthy

Know I get squeaky, yeah

Saving all my energy

    Now the chorus was about to start and you were actually excited and nervous to see Harry’s reaction of it. You two have been dating for four years now. He probably understood any little detail of this song more than anyone else.

Can you stay up all night?

F**k me till the daylight

34 35

    You started to hold back your laugh as Harry lifted his head up fastly with winded eyes and a surprised look so he could face you. It wasn’t actually your style to write songs that promiscuous so he was actually surprised at it even though he loved it. He had a smile on his face though and so did you. 

    The song kept playing as the words repeated itself and it stopped just after the second chorus so Harry passed his hands through his hair as you waited for his opinion on it. Honestly, Harry’s opinion about your music is extremely important to you because you cherish and admire him way too much and love his songs so you hope that he does too with yours.

— So... What do you think? — You asked anxiously waiting for his opinion. The truth is Harry had already listened to all the songs on his new album except this one.

— I like it! — Harry said with a smile on his lips making you breathe a sigh of relief — Maybe I can help write the rest, but they really didn't lie and it's great. The beat is good and the lyrics are catchy and everything will be fine. The point, my love, is that you are too worried! — Harry said as he approached you, placing his big, strong hands on your shoulders and massaging them lightly feeling all the tension in your muscles slowly dissolving — Relax, it's amazing! You got it!

   With Harry's help, you finished the song in less than an hour. When you recorded the rest and listened, you felt that now it was ready and now you could go home with him. It was simply incredible to know you could always count on him and to know that while you were together creativity would be present and life wouldn't be boring. After all, you had each other and had the art.

[infinitysgrace]

Adrien and Lila mirror meta

ok fine 

Alright, let’s do this. Let’s talk about Adrien and Lila’s weird as fuck chess game that was Season 3. 

With Lila and Adrien mirroring each other, Season 3′s arc with Lila goes from “Adrien learning how dangerous Lila is” to “Adrien just not being threatened by her and he and Lila are just playing the weirdest game of chess ever, and Lila got outsmarted.”

Chameleon. Something’s different from the last time they’ve interacted back in Volpina. Now he can tell when she’s lying to him, and she knows that he knows as well because he flat out tells her as much. At this point, he knows that making giant angry call out scenes about her lying will make her upset and get her akumatized. So what does he do? He tries being nice about it. He gives her an out with no consequences and the only condition was “please don’t lie to me,” and what does she do? Gets akumatized and goes after him in particular. 

He learned three things by the end of this episode from all of this. He learned that direct confrontation doesn’t work with her at all. he learned that she lied to Ladybug earlier that episode when she said that she wouldn’t lie and pretend to be someone she isn’t to get people to like her. He gives the first part of this to Marinette to help her, she takes the advice and what happens? Lila gets caught in one of her lies, her hold on Marinette was shaken, and uh... this meme:

anyway I digress 

The third thing he learned was that she will play into her own self destruction if she keeps this up, which is something he warned her about earlier in the episode but actually saw in the classroom scene at the end. 

With Lila and Adrien being mirrors this episode becomes less about Marinette battling against Lila while the whole class is blind to what’s happening, and it turns more into the set up of these two setting up their pieces up. Lila chooses to keep lying, and for the first time it blows up in her face while Adrien chooses the truth, stands by Marinette, and gets his seat next to Nino in class back. This is the point where they’ve started the game, but neither of them know how it’ll go. At this point, Lila doesn’t know that he’s playing at all, and Adrien doesn’t know how far she’s willing to go yet, but that changes in... 

Oni-chan. I don’t have nearly as much to say about this episode as I did with Chameleon (that’s a lie). 

We start this episode with Lila for once, we see that she’s alone in the morning and her mother won’t be home until late while her mother’s voicemail tells her everything she needs while she’s gone. This is different than usual because normally when we see a kid being alone while their parent more accurately their parent’s mouth piece to them is relaying information about their day in the beginning of episodes, it’s Adrien. And then, it only makes sense that when Nino sees her down he asks her what’s up because he’s seen this before, and giving Adrien someone to talk to helped him so there isn’t a reason for him to think it wouldn’t work with her. But, Lila already chose her course back in Chameleon. She chose to lie, and it’s cemented here when she lies to Nino instead of opening up about it. 

Moving on, Adrien at this point hasn’t realized how far she’s willing to go to get what she wants, and still hasn’t by the time she lies herself into the hell house by potentially putting him in a situation where he’ll get scolded by his father and Nathalie. He lets it go (for now), but keeps in mind that Nathalie and Gorilla got in trouble because of it. He’s going to use that later.

Now we’re getting to Kagami’s akumatization, and what Adrien says to her when she shows up at his window. With mirrors in mind, Adrien’s excuses for what she does “she’s not dangerous she just craves attention” and “Maybe she’s just looking to be less lonely” before with Plagg aren’t just excuses anymore, they also serve as an view of how he genuinely views the situation with her. That’s why it’s important that he NEVER retracts those statements even after he has a better understanding of her. Suddenly it goes from “Adrien being naive and oblivious to the damage she’s doing” to “He's figured it out and he still genuinely does not view her as a threat despite everything she’s done up to this point” by the end of the episode.

From his perspective, he’s not dealing with anyone that he hasn’t dealt with before, and that makes sense. He was raised with Felix and Chloe, and his father is Garbage Agreste, and that man eats gaslighting for breakfast. Why would a more obvious and less experienced version of him be a threat to his son?

We end this episode with Adrien scolding her at Cat Noir, and warning her as Adrien not to mess with people he cares about, and it’s a warning that Lila blatantly ignores and doesn’t take seriously. She messes with Chloe, which Adrien never finds out about and then...

We get to Ladybug (the episode).  

Putting the episode right up next to Chameleon, you can really see how they match up and how very different the circumstances are. Ladybug is the episode we find out why he doesn’t consider her dangerous. We go from Adrien having a vague understanding of how she operates and trying to keep others from her crossfire to him actively knowing what she’s doing and figuring out how to successfully work around it. 

Like, really think about the fact that she is so not a threat that he confidently tells Plagg that he’ll help Marinette later meaning he already knows what he’s going to do at this point, it’s only a matter of when. They’ve been playing the game this whole time, and at this point Lila still doesn’t know he’s playing it. She still thinks she’s in control, and hasn’t realized that she made a mistake. She still doesn’t realize that he isn’t a pawn in her game, but is actually the person she’s been playing against this whole time, and Adrien uses that to figuratively back her in a corner by the end of the episode.

I’ve made SO many posts about Adrien’s threat at this point that I’m just gonna summarize it if you don’t mind. 

Adrien threatening Lila was just as much a surprise to Lila as it was to a lot of the people seeing this episode for the first time, and the same thing applies in both cases: it shouldn’t have been. Ladybug (the episode) is Lila realizing that he understands how she works and understands how to manipulate that if she steps out of line again. The episode is her realizing she has to be more careful if she doesn’t want Angrien over here ruining everything because his word has more weight than hers, and it always will, and now she has to consider that he will use it against her if she fucks up. She was once again the player of her own self destruction from keeping up on her path of lies and Adrien once again watches it happen just like in Chameleon but this time he’s actively making sure it happens instead of just watching it from the back of the room.

Anyway, idk how to end this, but uh... yeah. That’s all I’ve got.

[meatcute]

i don't know your ocs so just answer for whichever one(s) you wanna!! 2, 21, 24, 54

ty! im gonna do my main set of ocs ^^ under a cut because this is LONG & i will be discussing death including child death and suicide (death surrounds these characters)

2. What’s their biggest regret?

cira: a childhood accident. i mean, logically speaking, he was too young to have known better. he only meant to play with his friend, as kids do, but somehow he was sitting in the dirt sobbing and apologizing and begging her to move, to get out of the water, until he couldnt stand the sight of her curly red locks sinking into the lake anymore and ran as fast as his little legs could carry him. he didnt know what to say to his father, to her parents, to the tall men in blue. so he said nothing. he was just a scared little kid, but he wonders to this day if its too late to finally say something

rachel: she loves her family. adores them, would move the world for them. shes ruined lives for their sake. but sometimes.. its like she feels apart from them. they care deeply for her and she has their unconditional love and support, but they know her better than anyone, and can tell when shes acting. they want authenticity from her; her bitterest enemy, something shed sooner die than provide. even so, sometimes she wishes she could be their real daughter, sister, cousin that they love and miss so much

alison: they dont regret. they live in the present moment, and that might be someones problem, but not theirs. the past only has meaning in that it allowed the present to exist, and assigning it any more meaning than that is pointless to them

phi: when the love of her life started avoiding her, she assumed what she thought was the worst; were they being unfaithful? wasnt she enough for them? they said they loved her, they said they were soulmates, was it all a lie? she wonders if this perception only sped up the inevitable. she learned the truth when she heard the voicemail containing their last words, and their body was found the next day at the bottom of a bridge. god, she wishes she could take back the suspicion and paranoia that painted their last moments together, even though itd be replaced by a different suspicion and paranoia. anything to make them stay.

21. What’s one secret of theirs that could potentially ruin a relationship they have?

cira... doesnt block ads on youtube bc he likes to watch them. idk. there was him accidentally killing his next door neighbor as a kid but i just wrote a whole paragraph about it, it gets repetitive

rachel regularly blackmails her enemies and frames them for petty crime. she has also enabled and goaded people into more serious crimes, including her partners past & present

alisons family has so much drama all the time to the point theyre constantly trying to kill or sabotage each other, its a fucking nightmare. also alison themselves is super unreliable and has broken many hearts simply bc they got bored of the person

phi is still in love with her dead ex and if they were to somehow be revived, shed drop everything for them including current relationships. she also heavily projects them onto her partners

24. Do they have any phobias?

rachel is a germaphobe. i get the sense cira is not a fan of heights, but not phobic-level. cant think of much else

54. What’s their body count, if they have one?

what kind? ;) jkjk. this is before they all start dating bc my ocs fuck nasty. cira is a virgin, phi has slept with two, rachels is 4 or 5?, alison has had dozens.

[blanska]

Did Sergey lie to Lera?

SPOILERS for the Plague Doctor comics up until issue #8

Disclaimer: I read most of the comics with the help of Google Translate, so it is highly likely that I don’t have the fully picture. I wrote this after reading #8 of the Plague Doctor.

In Plague Doctor #8 Sergey tells Lera in the car that the Bird has been destoryed, erased.

When I read that, I put down my phone and started pacing in my room, because this statement comepletely contradicted my interpretation of the story so far. It contradicted what I have seen.

My opinion: I think it wouldn’t be a great story if they truly killed off the bird forever. But here’s the thing. This is my taste in stories, which has no bearing on what happens in the comics. So instead, let’s talk about what my more objective side saw.

The Knife Scene

The most convincing part for me that the Bird is right there in the comics is the scene when Oleg takes out the knife. Next we see a close-up of Sergey’s eyes and the knife reflected in them. Immediately I thought of the Bird. The way this is presented makes this moment seem very important and ominous. The knife falls to the ground, and in the next moment Sergey pushes the blade to Lera’s side. He says, “Dead. Always watch your back.”

What makes this even more convincing and important is Oleg’s reaction. All of a sudden he acts almost like a prison guard, puts Sergey in his place, “Close the knife and hand it over to me. And step back!” I find it hard to interpret this in any other way than Oleg talking to the sociopath who just crossed a line. Sergey hands over the knife with a frown. Immediately after this things go back to normal.

If the Bird has been dead for years, why do we get this scene? Why would they show us specifically this scene in this way?

Two different people behind the wheel

In every scene when Sergey is present, for like 90% of the scene I saw one of two personalities. The one who seems to be less active (or just not as eccentric as the other one) I saw perhaps in #1 at the cafe, possibly in #2 when he gives Lera and Oleg their first job (he is dressed in white), in #3 when Lera tries on the suit, in #6 after the casino when he’s been up all night and they meet at the apartment and in #8 in the car with Lera.

Let’s call him “Sublte Sergey” bc I no better ideas.

The way he’s sitting, standing, the way he’s holding himself is different from the other personality. He doesn’t take up too much space, but he also doesn’t seem to lack confidence.

The way he phrases things is more matter of fact and he doesn’t talk down to others all the time.

Doesn’t joke about murdering the person he’s talking to and doesn’t do other things that seem very sociopathic.

The other personality is way more obvious. I saw him in #2 when they first gather in the apartment, then later during the first training session. In #3 during training when he attacks Lera and starts coplaining that Oleg didn’t do a good enough job. In #4 when they meet in the apartment before the casino. And the thing is, he acts just like during the Game when the Bird was in control and the other personality was essentially held hostage.

Let’s call him “Entitled Sergey” (bc I don’t wanna call him Bird for the sake of the discussion).

The way he’s holding himself. He looks like he’s always on a stage, he takes up a lot of space, he seems overly confident.

He frequently phrases things in a very condescending way, he seems to think he’s the smartest person in the room and he’s always surrounded by idiots. He very often complains about what the others are doing.

He jokes about hurting or murdering Lera on two occasions, he’s the one who picks up the knife, possibly the one who wants to suggest ideas that Oleg immediately shuts down (perhaps bc it would cross a certain line).

If the Bird is truly dead, then who am I seeing here? Why would there be a personality that acts just like the Bird during the Game? Did the Bird play the role of this personality back then? Is this the person who might know himself to be The Sergey and is that why the Bird would have played this role? If yes, who the hell is Subtle Sergey?

The Second One

In the car Sergey talks about the “second” personality, because idk he forgot to count himself, but sure let’s call him the Second One. “He doesn’t remember anything, shakes with horror, cannot fight.” It seems like this is the person who almost crashed the car twice driving to Lera’s home. The person who’s influence is slowly fading away during the conversation in the car. Nice to finally meet you, buddy.

I do not think that the Second One equals Subtle Sergey. Because as the scene goes on he starts to sound more and more like Subtle Sergey and not like Entitled Sergey. He says he is afraid of the Second One. The Second One wouldn’t say this, at least I do not think he would phrase it in this way. So these seem to be three distinct personalities.

Who is We?

In the car when Sergey is ranting about his, well.. their internal struggles, at some point he starts a sentence with “we” then pauses and corrects himself to “I”. I really like this, because of course he would say “we” occasionally as he seems to be co-conscious and living together with at least one other personality nowadays. At first I thought he corrected himself to try make his sentences more consistent and easier to understand, since most people refer to themselves as “I”.

But after it occured to me that he might have lied about the Bird being dead I thought pehaps that was not the case. He is talking about the Second One, “If I lose self control.” and then “The epitome of his greatest fear is absolute helplessness!“ He talks about the Second One in the third person and he clearly doesn’t want this person to be in control right now. 

Immediately after this as he starts to explain what happened with the Bird during the game, he says “We...” then corrects himself to “I've never made excuses with an evil alter ego.” What if when he said “we” he was thinking “the Bird and I”? But since he later claims that the Bird is gone, he corrects himself.

Sure, he could have done this for many other reasons, such as realizing that the other part(s) of the “we” have made those excuses before. But it still makes me wonder if he indeed lied.

So what if he did lie?

If he did lie, then I think Subtle Sergey and the Bird has been living and working together on this project and we’ve seen a lot of both of them. There were some moments of instantaneous switches just like back in the Game, but now the Bird is not trying to take over, he’s on board with the plans. He’s part of a system, even.

Especially with the intense reaction of the Second One, stepping to the foreground and having panic attacks, being unsure of himself, I can see why they would claim that the Bird is dead. Even if they’re not that unsure of themselves, it makes sense to say that. Because the Bird did all those horrible things when he was fully in control and running amok. Now they’re doing things differently. Saying “oh yes, he’s right here, but I promise he’s not gonne empty a round of bullets into you like the last time” isn’t very reassuring or believable. I would definitely consider lying in this situation.

What if he didn’t lie?

Then we have the Subtle and the Entitled Sergey, one of whom seems to behave like the Bird during the Game. Which is weird writing. It’s confusing. In the Plague Doctor, we don’t get to see what is going on inside Sergey’s mind. We don’t see alters talking to each other, or be represented by different character designs. We can only guess. And putting an alter in the story who acts like the Bird, without an explanation or anything to make clear that this is not the Bird, is extremely confusing to me.

If he didn’t lie, I have no idea why we had the Knife scene. What was the point? During the Game there was a Sergey trying to resist and fight the Bird unsuccessfully. I associate this sociopathic side of him with the Bird.

If the Bird is truly gone, then a part of Sergey has been thrown out the window. They didn’t get the chance to learn to live together, to get better, to figure out their life. It is not a good lesson. You don’t ignore or kill parts of you, especially the parts of you that make it incredibly hard to live your life and thrive. You deal with it. You come up with solutions to make it work for you or at least make it stop being an obstacle. If Sergey gets to be the Anti-hero and gets to live a better life, a healthier life, it shouldn’t be because we threw out the part of him who was causing trouble.

So I hope he lied. I desperately hope that he lied. But please, Bubble at least let us find out what the truth is in the end! I am getting tired of guessing who this person is in the scene with Oleg and Lera :D Whatever the case is, I am intrigued, I want to know more, I want to know what is really going on. And as of now I am absolutely confused.

[ushidoux]

Look at Me, Senpai - Hinata x Reader x Daichi (Pt. 3)

Summary: Reader starts to see Hinata in a different light once he returns from Brazil. It turns out Hinata’s inability to give up isn’t just something restricted to the court. (~1.8k words)

Warnings: fem!reader, nsfw, infidelity, a touch of the yandere

A/N: Idk how long this fic is gonna get but we’re nearing the big mess. I hope you enjoy reading and let me know what you think!

Part 1|| Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4 || Part 5

---

Leave him.

Hinata’s voice still rang in the back of your head but you would ignore it. Today, you would try on wedding dresses. You’d chosen Daichi, after all.

You trailed behind your older sister, who had flown in from overseas just for the occasion, and your mother who chattered excitedly between themselves, linked arm in arm, as they essentially tore through the bridal shop ahead of you.

“Try this, ___! It’s so beautiful and just look at that embroidery!” your sister insisted, almost snatching a backless and lacy gown from the hands of a terrified employee.

“No, this looks better!” Your mother pushed back, pulling another dress off the rack with no decorum to the other employee’s obvious dismay.

“Look at how high that collar is! Is she getting married to God?”

Meanwhile, you wondered if it was sacrilegious to be wearing white at the wedding given the circumstances.

If you truly loved him, you wouldn’t be like this with me. Why pretend? 

Why not be 100% true to yourself?

Hinata’s dreadful honesty continued to weigh heavily on you as you weaved in and out of dresses, feigning excitement as best you could in order to not tip off your annoyingly perceptive sister.

Only marry someone you love.

“You look beautiful, ___. I think this is the one,” your sister spoke up from the outside, now slipping into the dressing room to get a first glance at you once your mother slipped off for a quick bathroom break.

You whispered a word of thanks as you looked yourself now clad in the one you had also settled on as the perfect gown in the full length mirror, trying to envision the look on Daichi’s face as you came down the aisle, the picture of an angel in the flesh, promising to devote yourself to him forever. You could see your sister purse her lips behind you from the reflection, and you knew she was sizing up your facial expressions.

Oh God, maybe she wouldn’t-

“Cold feet?”

She did.

Your heart sank as you bit your lip, trying to hold back tears, but before you could your sister continued in a soft voice.

“It’s not unnatural to have cold feet.” She took a seat in the small stool set at the corner of the room and crossed her legs before looking at you carefully, a reassuring smile spread on her face. “You remember that I almost ran away the day of my wedding, right?”

The image of her drunk and crying two nights before, eerily calm one night before and practically jumping out the window in her own white dress thirty minutes before she gracefully walked down the aisle came to mind and you found yourself stifling a laugh. She smiled in response to your reaction, all was not lost as long as you could still laugh.

“It’ll be fine, as long as you love him.”

Did you love him?

“How were you sure?” You asked now as you hastily slipped out of the dress. A part of you wondered if you were just being dramatic, but the gentle fabric felt as though it were tightening on your skin despite being the perfect fit.

She let out a sigh and crossed her arms over her chest. 

“I want to say something wise and romantic, like, ‘it was when we met eyes’ or ‘when he walked three miles in the snow to change my flat tire’, but to be honest, it was probably when I realized I couldn’t imagine life with anyone else. I know that sounds cliché but it’s the honest truth.”

She looked you in the eyes and sensed the waters muddying within rather than clearing up, and pursed her lips.

“If you want to tell me what’s going on, you can.”

Your body tensed for a millisecond. You knew you could tell her anything, but this? Cheating on your fiancé so shamelessly right after the engagement? There were limits to human understanding, but then again, maybe admonishment from someone you trusted would get you on the right track.

You opened your mouth to speak but before you could offer up a single word, your mother rushed back into the room.

“Why’d you take off the dress before I could see it???” She fussed, and you grinned in response to her disappointed expression before switching back to the task at hand. 

“Quick, put it back on!”

You would spare sissy dear the awful details.

---

Hinata didn’t call or text for the following week, and by the fifth day, the phantom rings and vibrations of your cell phone had started to drive you crazy. It was hard to concentrate on your art, on tasks of daily life, or preparing your wedding when all you could see flash in your mind’s eyes was what he looked like when you were under him. You told yourself it was the afterglow of lust and would eventually pass.

As if to palliate the pain of your separation, Daichi started to come home earlier than usual, and it began with him popping home at exactly noon on the next Saturday with flowers just because, an assortment of chocolates and takeout from your favorite restaurant.

“Let’s have a picnic,” he suggested, with a kiss on the forehead for his best girl.

You turned off your phone as you followed him out to the small park down the street, spending the early afternoon basking in the sunshine of spring and the warmth of Daichi’s affectionate regard.

Daichi pulled you into his arms as usual as you watched children play in the park with furry companions, couples riding bicycles and old ladies exchange gossip (and maybe launch a few surreptitious glances at the two of you). While the two of you were not strangers to public displays of affection, you couldn’t deny that you were beginning to become uncomfortable the more you noticed people looking at you. You couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that maybe suddenly they were seeing you not as a regular couple at the park but for who you really were: a woman with a terrible secret and a man who was none the wiser.

Did it matter if you chose to be good to him from now on? Would that account for the betrayal? 

Would that erase the fact that a small part of you wished Hinata was holding you right now instead?

---

Two weeks passed and you fought the urge to call Hinata Shoyo.

By now you knew it was something other than lust that drew you to him, now that Daichi took the time to satisfy the need for carnal intimacy every few nights, even if it wasn’t quite the passion of before, when you had just graduated from high school and all you had were your hopes for the future and each other, but a different type of practiced passion altogether between you.

Daichi knew all the things you liked and exactly how to make your body react in the way he wanted it to but while you were satisfied, you were still wanting. 

Of what? Could you really say it was Hinata that you needed after such a short time together?

Daichi’s lips and tongue trailed down your soft belly as he held on firmly to your wrists above you, teasing you with promises of entering your privacy every time his mouth drew near, then wandered back up to your bosom. 

“Not yet, darling, just wait for me like this.”

He leaned in, pressing his length against your thigh, forcing you to arch your back and buck against him, but he wouldn’t indulge you, laughing softly while his hold preventing you from reaching out to him remained steady.

“P-please, I want you, Daichi, just let me feel you, please.”

He had been edging you for the past twenty minutes but it felt more like hours and your body craved the feeling of fullness between your legs.

“You want to feel me, baby girl?” He growled, earning you a lash of the tongue right at your sex, sending a current through your spine.

“Yes...,” you let out a whimper, “please let me feel you.”

“This isn’t enough?” He asked, between licks and slurps of your wet cunt. “You taste so sweet for me, little baby, what if this is all I want to do now?”

Your mind swam with muddled pleasure as you closed your eyes and you were no longer thinking straight, all you had left in you was the ability to beg.

“Please, please put it inside me,” you continued to whine as he nibbled on one of your lower lips.

“Beg for Daddy’s cock,”  he said, now kissing your mouth again, a large hand now gripping both of your wrists to hold you back as he pressed against you, the pressure on your chest and the pressure of his member just knocking at your entrance making it hard for you to breathe.

“P-please stop teasing me, S-Shoyo.”

A pause.

“What?” Daichi’s voice had reverted back to his regular voice, no longer thick with lusty mischief but with confusion, and he stopped his movements, unsure as to what you were trying to say to him. His grip relaxed around your hands, setting you free.

Your heart stopped as a panic set in, sobering you up almost entirely and you had to think fast, fast, fast.

“C-can ‘shoyu’ be out safeword, babe? I just wanna try something today, something a little different...” you mumbled, surprising yourself with how quickly you could lie under pressure. Awful. You were so awful.

He gave you a confused look, given that you didn’t usually use safewords, but it wasn’t a bad idea anyway, and he nodded with a small shrug before resuming with kisses to your neck.

Your heart continued to pound and you hoped he didn’t notice that the drum of your heartbeat now played fear. That was a close one.

Something had to give soon.

---

The next day, Daichi seemed to have expedited that process for you.

“Hey, I’m gonna have Hinata come for dinner tomorrow night,” he called out from the shower casually as you started your skincare routine. If not for the fact that you were literally splashing cold water in your face, there would be no other reason for the ice now running through your veins.

“No problem right? I can come back early to help you make dinner beforehand.”

“... No problem.”

[bisluthq]

she said “joe plays piano beautifully” about exile btw lmfao

I swear what do you her to say.. Joe is pretty bad he can't paly but I want to give an grammy and desperately work with him...

Like I am convinced that some of your anons live in a dystopian world where sarcasm, dry humor, self depreciation doesn't exist. Like recently one anon said few people need subtitle to tell that someone is laughing.. I think that perfectly describes these people

Look - the point is Joe clearly plays the piano well for an amateur because we’ve heard him play it. We know he can play guitar and sing because these skills were listed on his CV. Taylor isn’t gonna say “Joe is okay at the piano and I liked the songs he was playing” because that’s not how she talks. Joe isn’t gonna say “I am good at the piano” because that’s not how he talks. I really do feel like sometimes people forget that these are… actual human beings idk and not characters in a story.

If you’re writing a book, unless you’re going for unreliable narration, it’ll be confusing if a character self-describes very differently to how other characters describe them. Like if a character’s skill is introduced in dialogue and then further dialogue contradicts it like that’d be a plot hole. It actually wouldn’t be if the text shows rather than just tells in between because then you’d gather that’s unreliable narration but if it’s just the two conflicting bits of dialogue you could be justified in saying “that’s a bit of a plot hole.”

But Tay and Joe aren’t characters idk.

This is, fundamentally, the issue I have with like both konspiracists and cupcakes who refuse to accept that some things could be fibs or white lies or half truths or that people can misremember and talk shit sometimes. Konspiracists go “HA! Taylor told that story differently!!! So it’s a lie!!!” and 99% of the time it’s the same story with different details highlighted and sometimes idk she changes her mind. And cupcake Swifties are like “she SAID this so of COURSE it’s exactly like this” and that’s also just objectively untrue? It can’t be true? No one ever shares the complete unbiased reality all the time and we can’t all remember everything perfectly and different contexts call for different vibes idk. You’re not gonna tell your friend a story the same way that you’d tell it to your boss etc. Because you’re - like she is - a person not a character.

[haliyam]

No matter what

eren x historia; yeager bro moments (or zeke wishes lol)

Summary: The time has come for Marley to choose its new Warriors, and Eren has a decision to make. (Also, "some things never change.") Warriors AU for erehisu day.

AO3 link if you prefer to read there

--

Happy erehisu day! I saw this amazing erehisu art by beforelightsout on twitter where Eren and Historia are Warrior candidates + Eren became a shifter. Since it's erehisu day and everyone has come out with such wonderful stuff, I wanted to contribute somehow and write something for that AU. I've been dying of work and a covid scare so I was running on the fumes of my love for this ship and everyone else's stuff and also VIBES while writing this in the last hour, so, it's barely edited, if it even makes sense. Sorry in advance. I hope you enjoy though! 

Also, for this AU (or really for the fic to work lol), my headcanon is that the war keeping the previous Warriors dragged on, so Reiner's generation don't get selected until they're this age (Historia and Eren are 17). As for Zeke... idk. Maybe Mr. Ksaver had more time too. Anyway who cares about Zeke here!!! (me I still do)

No matter what

“You know this counts as cheating.”

Eren shoots Zeke a look. They’re standing at the courtyard in HQ, watching the younger candidates wheeze through their training while Magath and his assistant instructors bark orders in the background. Days before selection, and with Zeke already holding the Beast Titan and Colt preparing to inherit, their generation doesn’t need to be put through their paces as often anymore—or maybe Commander Bruning is just letting them off the hook for the week.

They both doubt that. 

Up ahead, Falco trips over an unseen pebble, and Zeke sighs. 

“You don’t have to do this, you know?” he says, out of misplaced brotherly affection. Eren appreciates it, but that’s not what he needs right now. “You already have the armband.”

“This isn’t about me.”

“I know,” Zeke raises his hands in surrender, but the playful gesture doesn’t take away the scrutiny in his gaze. For all his levity, he doesn’t once glance away. Eren knows he’s seeing their father in him, trying to decide whether that’s a positive or a negative. 

“So?”

Zeke scratches the back of his ear. “You already know you’re in the running for the Attack Titan and the Armored Titan. Porco and Reiner are on your heels for the Armor. As for the Attack Titan…”

Zeke tilts his head in a shrug. Eren exhales, and then nods. “Thanks.”

His brother peers at him, a small smile curling at the corners of his mouth. “Thanks what?”

Eren is grateful, reassured, but not that grateful. “What am I, ten? I’m not calling you big bro.”

Zeke lets out a long-suffering sigh this time, the kind he uses to guilt trip the others into helping him with paperwork at his age. “You used to be such a cute kid.” He’s quick enough to reach over and ruffle Eren’s hair, and then withdraw before he can smack his hand away. “Now you’re all grown up.”

Eren rolls his eyes, but claps a hand to his brother’s arm in earnest. “Thanks, Zeke.”

The man gives him a thumbs up, and Eren belatedly catches a sliver of gold pass one of the windows behind the courtyard ahead of the other girls. His feet take him forward before he can bid his brother goodbye.

“Go on,” Zeke says, right as Eren catches himself almost sheepishly. He goes to her without another thought.

--

There’s no big to-do when it comes to the selection process. Apart from their generation of candidates, there’s only Zeke, standing to the side with the other instructors who assist the captain, while Magath and Commander Bruning themselves stand together, as imposing as the day they first met.

Maybe a little less now that they’ve earned their stripes, training for a decade with the extension of the war in the South, but Eren can feel the pressure of this moment bearing down on him. 

The others have been chosen. They stand at the other side of the room, putting on their most dignified expressions and trying to contain their shock at their commander’s question. 

“There remain two Titans, Eren Yeager,” said Commander Bruning seconds, maybe a minute ago. Eren’s mind is still reeling. “Which of them, in your estimation, best suits you?”

“Me, sir?” he had asked dumbly in response. Bruning had only nodded.

It isn’t supposed to happen like this. From the group ready to receive their red armbands, he feels Marcel’s eyes burning into his side. Marcel, who was pulled aside by Magath and Bruning earlier today. Eren expected the same treatment—not this. Is this a test? 

Porco and Reiner stand to his left, behind him because he’s stepped forward, and he feels hazel daggers ready to strike at his back. He doesn’t care about them right now. It’s the blue to his right that envelops his all. The air is replete with Historia’s expectation, drowning out all the others in the room. He feels weightless in it, a drop in the ocean that is her existence to him. 

Eren knows he could be more. If he gives the right answer, she might just see him as more.

But Historia isn’t the ocean to these people. She’s a tool, or she could be, and he cannot let that happen. Eren remembers the ground under his feet and peers into the commander’s eyes.

“If I may, sir, I believe Braun has always had the most endurance among the candidates,” he says clearly, just like he’s rehearsed with Marcel. He tries not to imagine the way Historia’s stomach drops. “Nowadays he takes Leonhart’s hits like they’re almost nothing. And for myself—I’ve come to specialize in close quarters combat. The Attack Titan would suit me best.”

Reiner sighs in relief not far from him. Porco and Historia are utterly silent. He can’t even hear them breathing.

Bruning and Magath seem not to notice. They only exchange glances, and if they think anything of Eren answering more than what was asked of him, they say nothing. 

After a few nods, Bruning turns toward them with pride. “It’s as we thought. I see no reason why we should delay for pointless suspense or further deliberation.” With a small motion of the commander’s hand, Reiner steps forward. “Congratulations, Yeager. Braun. You have earned the honor of becoming the new sword and shield of our great motherland Marley.”

--

The room erupts with excitement as soon as the Marleyans are surely gone from the hallway. Eren is already headed for the door when Porco tries to grab him by the shoulder.

“Eren, what the hell? You know this asshole isn’t better than me!”

Reiner sneers at him from behind before Eren can even shrug him off. “Apparently the brass knew different, Pock. Don’t take it out on Eren—he only affirmed what they were already thinking.”

Porco growls, turning on Reiner instead, which means it’s going to be one of those afternoons. Eren is happy to turn back for the door—he feels bright blue trained on him now, and it’s all he can do not to scamper for the exit.

Clutching the cigarette pack in his uniform pocket, he manages to get as far as two floors down before Historia catches up. She’s been calling out to him since she gave chase.

“Hey!” she yells. He was stupid to head for their usual spot. There’s a corridor in this building that’s gone unused for a while that they found, once, when it was their turn for cleaning duty. It’s been theirs since then, and one of the windows has the best view of the city right outside the internment zone’s walls—and the zone entrance itself. So they don’t forget what they’re supposed to do. 

“Eren!”

She’s starting to lose her breath, unable to match his longer strides. His footsteps start to slow, right as they reach that window. He turns around when hers stop too.

Hands still in his pockets, he stares down at her. “What is it?”

Historia glares at him, dignified even as she tries to catch her breath. “What the hell are you doing?”

Eren fishes out the cigarette pack from his pocket and shows her. It’s really Zeke’s, but he figured he’d need it after today. He isn’t wrong. 

She scoffs. “Since when do you smoke?”

“I’m going to be a shifter,” he shrugs. “It doesn’t matter much now, right?”

Historia shakes her head, smart enough to ignore the diversion. “Eren, what the hell was that? I thought… I thought we understood each other.” Always to the point. “I thought you and I would become Warriors together. Change things from the inside and convince the others to do the same.”

The truth of her confusion, her frustration and growing anger pulls at him. She’s everything she didn’t used to be, back when she was still playing the perfect little Warrior who unnerved him so much. It’s exactly why he needs to keep a straight face. 

“Ah… yeah. Sorry about that,” he murmurs, his tone completely level, fingers pinching at the cigarette pack in his fist. “I just gave it some thought, and… I think Reiner would be better as the Armor, not me. So—that left me as the Attack Titan.”

The pain in her eyes is almost too much for him. If only they were cold, just like she’d been the moment he saw her true self for the first time. That way he could crystallize himself in them and shatter instead of having to face her like this. But she hasn’t been cold for a long while, and the warmth in her gaze even after his betrayal does him in. 

“You’re lying,” she realizes the moment his gaze flickers away from hers. Eren curses himself for it. “You once said you could always tell when I was being fake. You think, after everything we’ve been through, that I wouldn’t know it with you either?”

Eren bites his tongue and forces himself to meet those eyes again. He reminds himself why he did it. It’s all that keeps his hands steady as he carelessly flicks the cigarette pack open and reaches for a stick. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Historia swipes her hand at his, knocking the pack from his grasp. It hits the ground with a pathetic smack. “Don’t lie to me, Eren!” she says, pleads even when she’s angry, because they’re friends, aren’t they? If only that were all she is. “You know I deserve more than that. Why are you doing this!? We were going to become Warriors together. We were supposed to have thirteen years together!”

She’s free to vent her frustrations in the hallway like they always have with each other, voice shaky and shakier still as the grief escapes her. By the time she mentions that number, Historia is on the verge of tears, but she blinks them away with the fury that remains. How unlike him, who wants to fold more than anything, feeling like the slightest breeze, the slightest word from her can knock him over. He can only stare at the ground as he swallows down the emotion rising in his throat, and that’s when he realizes it. She’s right, like she always is. He can’t stand lying to her. 

The prospect of having to utter his next words terrifies him more than the idea of paradise. But he manages it, because she deserves to know the truth.

“You know why,” he says, trembling only at the last word. Shamefully, face red with self-disgust, he lifts his eyes to hers, fearing the worst. 

She catches his meaning. Of course she does—she knows him best. He expects her to leap at him, punch him, anything that will make the guilt of his selfishness ebb even just a little, but she only stands there. Shocked, and then her cheeks flush in only the most beautiful way. He already knows he’ll never forget how the light from the windows illuminates her face like this.

But then her brows furrow, shoulders raising angrily, and she stomps her foot on the ground. “Am I supposed to be grateful for that?” she snaps. “Should I say thank you for making this decision without me? What about what I wanted?”

“No!” Eren stammers, hands up in submission as if that will placate her. “Of course not! I didn’t do this for your gratitude!” 

“Then why did you do it?” Her voice is still raised, but her tone is resigned. Historia knows that even if she gets the answer, Marley’s decision is set in stone.

That’s the thought Eren takes comfort in. The tears that dampen his eyes are tears of relief, no matter his shame, no matter his remorse. And here he thought he’d grown out of this when he turned sixteen. 

Pressing his lips into his teeth in an attempt to maintain his composure, Eren lets his gaze drop again. “I want you to live,” he admits, so quietly she almost misses it. “I want you to grow up and have a family like you wished you could, if you weren’t pushed into this when we were children. Get married, have children you’re free to love the way…”

He trails off. The last thing he wants to do is mention her mother. He knows she understands when she doesn’t press him to finish.

“I want you to grow old,” he continues. “Live past thirty. Get to fifty, seventy… Then you can be as grumpy as you want to be without anyone saying it doesn’t suit you. I want you to be happy.”

A slight hiccup leaves his throat, one Historia misses only because she does the same. Eren swallows it down, but his nose is already stuffy. When he looks at her again, he’s the most serious he has ever been, and it’s no performance. He reaches for her hands. 

“I’m not prepared to sacrifice your life for our cause,” he confesses. Eren imagines he could bear never to look out that window and see the walls torn down, the way they’ve dreamt together for the past few years, if it means she will live to see it herself long after he’s gone. He’s not articulate enough to say it, his ears and his throat so full with everything he wants to tell her in this moment that he’s speechless. How can he be otherwise, when she’s looking at him like that? All he can blurt out is, “I’m sorry.”

A silence brews between them. Eren wonders if it’s time to step away, to leave her to her thoughts. Maybe he can still beg for forgiveness later.

He loosens his grip on her hands, meaning to wipe his eyes, and that’s when she seizes his. “You stupid crybaby,” she murmurs quietly, fondly, “do you really think I’d be happy knowing you sacrificed yourself for me? Why do you think I promised you that we’d complete our mission within the next thirteen years?”

Eren can only look dumbfounded. 

“I wanted to spend them with you, you idiot,” she gives him, even as her voice quivers with the same desperate longing he’s felt ache in his chest for as long as he can remember now. “I would have been happier spending thirteen years with you, fighting together, than sitting out the fight and living the rest of my life without you. Isn’t that what we agreed on? To work toward what we promised? Together? What did you think I meant by that?”

Eren opens his mouth, body drained of the cool facade he’s found solace in the last few weeks since he came to terms with his greed.

“Historia,” he breathes. Remembers to. “You—?”

She’s had enough of him, he can tell by the look on her face—but he’s wrong again, because Historia grabs him by the collar and pulls him down to her, meeting his mouth with hers in a bid to help him see the truth. His fingers find her face on instinct, lips parting as they kiss so he can partake of her further. 

A moment, a hum from her and something stirring deep inside him, and Historia pulls away as if in punishment. She’s flush again, glaring until those blue eyes soften at his stupid expression. 

“Get it yet?” she asks.

His thumbs slide across her cheek, a small grin pulling at his mouth. She really is the ocean, Eren thinks, and dives in again, drinking of those soft lips, drowning in the scent of her hair, the feeling of her hands sliding down his chest. She’s everything.

What feels like both a moment and an eon passes as they stand there, him bent down as he kisses her, her tiptoed to grant it to him, until they eventually part. Only a little, because they can’t bear the distance just yet. Just so their foreheads are pressed together.

“I’m sorry,” Eren murmurs, before he’s lost in her again. “I didn’t know.”

Historia’s lashes flutter as she blinks away her own tears. This doesn’t change the consequences of the decision he’s made on his own, but she knows she can’t give him up, either. When she opens her eyes, she’s more resolute than he’s ever felt in his life. “There has to be a way,” she tells him. “Go to Paradis. Retake the Founding Titan… and come back. Then we’ll do as we promised.”

“Change the curse,” he replies, like they’ve planned, looking out at the stars from his roof in the zone. “Free our people.”

Historia nods. “No matter what.”

“No matter what,” he agrees. 

She smiles, and he can’t help that the way her lips purse when she tries to stifle it moves him. Eren draws closer—

“There you are!”

—and nearly stumbles as he and Historia untangle their limbs from one another, practically standing at attention when they hear his brother’s voice and Marcel’s surprised ah.

Unfortunately, not even the most perfect posture can erase the affection still blooming in their cheeks, or the slight swell of their lips resulting from that affection. Or the smiles they just can’t help for one another.

Zeke squints. Also unfortunately, nothing gets past this asshole. “Oh, so it finally happened?”

Marcel glances between the two of them, coming closer. “Seriously?”

Zeke snorts, palm open to the new Jaw. “Pay up, Galliard.”

Marcel scoffs. “Come on. Is it really fair if you had inside information?”

“Are you kidding? My baby brother tells me squat.”

“Oh. Yeah, I mean I guess I understand that…”

Historia lets out a very audible sigh. “Can we help you?”

Marcel meets Eren’s gaze, gratitude and apology in his smile, while Zeke tries on his new Warchief role for size. He clears his throat.

“Now that Porco and Reiner have settled down, Bruning and Magath want to see us again. Discuss our steps going forward, run tests on the new Warriors… The works. Time to go.”

Marcel sighs. “Talk about eager.”

“All right,” Eren says, finally, because he prefers serious Zeke to his annoying brother right now. He feels vulnerable enough, and he doesn’t care to be that way in front of these two. Or anyone else but her, really. “Lead the way.”

Zeke and Marcel turn to leave, starting to argue the terms of their wager as they disappear around the corner.

Historia and Eren look to each other. A shy smile finds its way to his face as he offers her his hand. 

“By the way, Eren,” Zeke pokes his head into the corridor again, finger waving at the mess of sticks on the floor, “you owe me a new pack of cigarettes. And clean that up.”

Eren groans. “Shut up!”

“But that was my favorite brand! The things I do for love,” his brother whines, to Marcel’s quiet chuckling, and finally they leave for good. 

“Sorry about that,” Eren mutters. Not that Historia hasn’t seen him like this before.

She only laughs as she accepts his hand. When she shakes her head, smiling as she pulls him forward, he feels like they might actually do it. That they might be able to find a way past those thirteen years.

And even if they don’t, he can’t feel regret. As long as they’ve managed to accomplish their mission… No, as long as he can ensure that Historia lives on, he’ll pay any price.

No matter what.

//

I'll take any opportunity to give Marcel more screentime. Well, I actually debated with myself whether it would be Marcel or Bertholdt in the last scene, but Marcel made more sense so that Zeke could whine about being an older brother to someone who could relate. (And yes, Marcel and Eren made a deal to have Reiner become the Armor. I’M SORRY REINER)

Writing Eren's parts made me realize how much I'm in love with Historia??? Like I've always loved her but I guess I realized I'm IN love with her XD Also my hc is Eren here likes to think he's the strong one protecting them both or he at least likes to project that image to the others, but really he takes his cues from Historia who is much stronger emotionally and mentally imo. Idk, I just think she's the boss in this relationship (though of course they are able to be vulnerable with one another which is the biggest thing for me).

Anyway. Thank you for reading! Happy erehisu day!

P.S. I forgot to mention that 'Commander Bruning' in my hc is the guy who tells Magath that it's a good idea to use child soldiers as their Warriors. I imagine he was in charge of a certain number of Eldian soldiers, including the Warrior program, while Magath was the 'captain' who directly managed the kids until his and Bruning's eventual promotions when they were able to conquer nations with such success.

[peggyrose19]

Everything Was Falling Apart Pt. 2

Part 2 here we go! This might end terribly, we’ll see. More angst, as I’m sure you all expected. What will they decide? Who knows. Certainly not me. I just let them do what they want. Anyways. This is kinda mixing the timelines/storylines of both Clandestine and SW so it might be a tiny bit confusing to follow? Idk, I tried my best to make it make sense. Last part was more from Finn’s perspective so this time you get Logan. Whee. That was not intentional, it just happened. Did I mention I just write what they tell me to? Well, I do. 

Part 1 is here if you haven’t read it yet. 

Also I lied, there will be a part 3 hehe. I just really love leaving you guys in suspense. Sorry not sorry :)

Characters belong to the amazing and lovely @lumosinlove and AU belongs to the wonderful @heyitssmiller. 

Logan missed him. He tried and tried to ignore the feeling but he did. Finn was constantly on his mind, with his soft hair and green eyes and loving smile. He missed Leo too. But that was a different pain. The kind of pain that never left. The kind of pain that stuck in his mind when he closed his eyes at night, curly hair stained with blood, brown eyes wide and unblinking flashing past his eyes. 

He was in Australia for Leo’s birthday. It was warm there, the seasons opposite to what he was used to. He woke up and found he couldn’t get out of bed. He just lay there and thought about blond curls and dimples and a laugh he’d never hear again. Finn texted him. He didn’t answer. And when his tears had soaked through the pillow, he rolled over and tossed it off the bed, falling into an uneasy sleep until morning. 

He was in England for Finn’s birthday. It rained the whole day and he sat unmoving by the window, phone in his hand, thinking of his wide smile and bright eyes and the absence of both the day they’d said goodbye. He couldn’t bring himself to dial the number. 

He would have forgotten about his own birthday was it not five days before Christmas. And if his sisters hadn’t bombarded him with messages and questions of when he would be home again. He called them all, faking a smile for them, and promised to be home for Christmas next year. But he had a feeling they saw right through him. Everything was falling apart.

The night Logan flew into JFK airport, he received a voicemail from Finn. It surprised him; Finn had given up contacting him months ago after too many messages had gone unanswered. He pulled it up, pressing play absentmindedly, knowing he wasn’t going to reply, telling himself he was listening to it only to know what he’d said. 

But this time something in Finn’s voice pulled him up short. 

Hey Lo. I miss you. 

It’s been a year since… well. But you know that of course. 

I just- I know you’re in New York. Don’t tell me you’re not, we both know it’d be a lie. Can I- can we… I want to see you. Please. It’s been so long. Just… give me a call when you land. Or don’t. Whatever. I just- we need to talk. 

I love you. 

Logan stood frozen, unaware of the world, everything falling apart around him. The people rushing around him, the announcement being made, the whir of the baggage claim starting up all went by unnoticed. He just stood, staring down at his phone, at the voicemail and the name Finn O’Hara beside it. Finn’s words rang through his head. That was not what he had been expecting. 

With shaking hands, he dialed the number. 

Finn answered on the first ring. 

“Hello?” his voice asked, uncertain and quiet and as familiar to Logan as the green of his eyes, ingrained forever in his mind. Unthinkingly, Logan released a soft sigh. 

“Hey, Finn,” he said quietly. 

“It’s really you.” 

He took a shaky breath. “Yeah.” 

“I didn’t think you’d call.” 

“Me neither. But your voicemail… fuck, Finn. I- yeah, I’d love to see you.” 

“You would?” Finn’s voice rose. 

“Yeah. I miss you.” 

“Coffee tomorrow?” 

Logan forced his nerves down, refusing to get his hopes up about anything. “Sounds good.” 

He could almost hear Finn’s smirk as he added, “Or whatever the fuck it is you drink. Cause it certainly isn’t coffee.” 

“Fuck off,” Logan let out a startled laugh. 

Finn laughed a little too. “So, tomorrow. Does 9:00 work? And there’s a cafe just down the street from my place if you wanna go there. I can send you the address.” 

“Sounds good,” Logan managed, voice tight. 

“Alright. I’ll see you then Tremz. Don’t bail on me.” He said it jokingly but they both heard the truth beneath it. 

“I won’t,” he promised softly. 

Finn hung up with a soft click and Logan stood rooted to the spot. He wasn’t sure what to think. Finn had called him. He had called Finn. And Finn had answered. They’d talked. They’d made plans. After a year of not speaking, of not seeing each other, not even being in the same time zone, they were going to coffee tomorrow. 

He wasn’t sure he was even going to make it there. 

But he had promised. He had promised Finn he would show up and so he would.

He would not fall apart. 

Logan woke the next morning having slept a total of two hours. Each time he drifted off, his thoughts betrayed him again, turning back to his date with Finn over and over until he wanted to reach into his mind and pull them out simply for a moment of peace. 

He dressed anxiously, changing half a dozen times before forcing himself to stop. For the next hour, he paced the small hotel room, television playing in the background, running his hands through his hair, never quite able to break the habit. 

Finn had texted him the address the night before. It was only a ten minute walk and so, at promptly 8:45, Logan left the hotel and hurried down the street, following the blue line on his phone. 

It took him only seven minutes to get there. He loitered outside for a moment, watching the city. The streets were crowded like always, cars and pedestrians all trying to get somewhere in a hurry. An old conversation passed through his mind as he waited, a night out with Finn and Leo before they’d gotten together. 

“Should we have gone left?” 

“We’re literally following the blue line.” 

“I know, but that way looks shorter.” 

“New Yorker, forever in a hurry.” 

The conversation brought the sting that normally accompanied thoughts of Leo. But it faded a bit as he remembered that night, Leo asking them questions about their histories, how they’d met. Neither of them had told the true story of how they’d met, that night at the party, both drunk and flirty and not quite thinking straight. He remembered Leo’s smile, the dimples he’d fallen in love with the first time he’d ever seen them. He remembered Finn’s bright smile and care-free attitude, getting sappy and losing coherent speech with each drink he consumed. And he wished, just for a moment, he could go back to that night. 

A hand on his shoulder shook him from his thoughts. He startled, whipping around on instinct. But as soon as he caught sight of the person now in front of him, he froze. 

Finn looked nearly the same as he had a year ago. His curls were unruly as ever, falling around his eyes, just a little bit longer. His eyes were dimmer, more subdued than they usually were. No smile graced his face, but he wasn’t frowning. 

“Hi,” Finn said softly and Logan nearly melted. 

“Finn.” Without a second thought, Logan crashed into his arms. Finn held him close and it was as if no time had passed at all. Their bodies molded together the way they always did, and the feeling of home nearly made Logan cry. He hadn’t realized how much he’d missed physical contact until suddenly he was being held again, for the first time in probably a year. Without a word, he buried his face in Finn’s shoulder, hair brushing his cheek. 

“I missed you so fucking much,” Finn whispered fiercely into his ear. He pulled away, but kept his arms around Logan, as if afraid he would run if he let go. 

“Me too.” He sniffed, telling himself it was just the cold air making his eyes water. 

“C’mon, let’s go inside. I have so much to fill you in on.” 

They went into the café, charming and small, and got in line, Finn asking Logan question after question about where he’d travelled and what he’d seen. They skirted around the reason he’d left, pretending it had all just been a long vacation. They ordered and sat down, Finn only teasing him a bit about his ridiculously sweet coffee, before continuing his questions. 

It was only after they’d exhausted talk of Logan’s travels that silence fell between them. 

“I wish Leo was here,” Finn said eventually. 

“Me too.” 

“He could’ve made us those amazing muffins of his, remember those?” 

Logan smiled. “Yeah. Brought ‘em in our first day of the mission. Mon dieu, those were good.” 

“Yeah, they were,” he agreed. 

“How have you been?” Logan asked. “And tell me the truth. You’ve been bombarding me with questions since we got here. I don’t even know what you’ve been up to.” 

Finn sighed. “It’s been really fucking hard. That’s the truth. Because not only did I lose Leo, then I lost you too. And you don’t- you never answered my calls or my messages. I needed to talk to you and you wouldn’t pick up. I had to go through that without you. You were the only other person who knew how I felt, and we could’ve helped each other. But you refused to even look at me, and-” Finn shrugged helplessly- “I’ve tried really hard to forgive you, Lo. But I’m not sure I can. You haven’t made it easy to love you.” 

“You still love me?” 

“Of course I fucking love you! I never stopped!”

Logan was taken aback by the outburst. He glanced furtively around the room to see if anyone was looking at them, but no one even glanced their way. Finn noticed and sighed. 

“Logan, I don’t want to go another year without talking to you. It was torture. I know… I know that we can’t be us again, not the way we used to be, not without Leo. But can we at least be friends? Tremz, I miss my best friend. Please. Don’t walk away from me again.” 

Silence fell between them and Logan surveyed the man before him. The man he’d once loved with all his heart, once vowed to himself to never let go, to protect and love and cherish. That had been a year ago. A lot had changed in that year. 

But as Finn waited for his answer with bated breath, Logan realized he didn’t want to run anymore.

[keytomythoughts]

Perfection Imperfections | Chapter 1

Chapter Index 

»»—————————————-　

Finally, summer break. It’s been a while since I was able to go home. Having to attend high school rather far from my home in Seoul, I never thought that I’d adjust to the new environment. Fortunately, I wasn’t entirely alone, since I stayed with my aunt for the four years of my high school life. School wasn’t so bad, but the homesickness is what killed it for me. Even though it was my parents' idea to send me a rather vast distance—me not being too excited about it, but I knew I wouldn’t get my way in the end—there was some good that came from it. The two only good things, actually. 

I glance outside the train window, the buildings of Busan zooming past me. Sure, it may not be my home, but I won’t lie. I’m really going to miss this place. My phone suddenly vibrates in my lap, glancing down to see a text from my group chat, smiling as I respond.

(Binnie)

R u still on the train?

                                                               Yeah have been for the past like 30 mins

(Eunuwu) 

Going back to ur parents? Or r u moving out?

                                                                                                                      Funny

                                                                        Yk I can’t move out, at least not on                                                                            my own. My parents won’t allow it

(Binnie)

:/

What about Jaehyun?

                                                                            Idk, they rlly dc what he does tbh

                                                                       They’re just hell-bent on me getting                                                                                    into the top schools and shit

(Eunuwu)

Damn, rough

                                                                                                                        Mhm

(Binnie)

Try talking to them, u never know

They might change their minds?

                                                                 Nah, I already know how it’s gonna end

                                                                         Me crying and stuffing myself with                                                                           pints of ice cream

(Eunuwu)

Doesn't sound so bad

(Binnie)

¬_¬

(Eunuwu)

Except for the crying part ofc

But c’mon it cant really be THAT bad

I’ve been over plenty of times, they seem nice

(Binnie)

U’ve been to her house??

                                                                         Yeah him and oppa are friends too

(Binnie)

Righttt forgot lol

                                                                  And that’s bc you were there dumbass                                                                    and half of the time ur either in oppa’s                                                                    room or out somewhere

                                                                  Interaction with my parents = minimal

(Binnie)

That sounds awful ngl :( sorry Hyuna

But hey we should all hang soon!

(Eunuwu)

I’ll be in Seoul for the summer too so y not?

                                                                                                           I miss y’all :’(

                                                                   Ok I should be there around like 5 ish                                                                     so I’ll text then

(Binnie)

Aww I miss u toooo 

(Eunuwu)

*puke*

                                                                                           Shut up, ur just jealous

(Eunuwu)

Me? Jealous?? Of what, ur face?

Yea no thx, Ive got a great face already

And personality 0:)

                                                                               Gr8, explains why ur still single

(Binnie)

LOLL

She got u there bro

(Eunuwu)

Shut up

Ur talking as if u’ve got a gf

Idiot

(Binnie)

At least I didnt reject them as coldly as u did lol 

                                                                                             See? My point exactly

                                                                               Your fAcE scared off every girl                                                                                   in sight bc of tht pErSoNaLiTy

                                                                           I almost feel bad for them, u little                                                                             heart breaker

(Binnie)

He made a couple of em cry I heard

                                                                                                                     Rlly?!?

                                                                                                                         YAH

                                                                                                               U MORON

(Eunuwu)

Bin wtf

(Binnie)

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

                                                                                    U JERK HOW COULD U??

                                                                                              Those poor girls omg

                                                                               Im so kicking ur ass when I c u

(Binnie)

Me 2

(Eunuwu)

Wtf?? Y???

(Binnie)

No reason lol, just feel like it

                                                                                         And this is why ily Binnie

(Binnie)

:D <3

(Eunuwu)

GROSS

                                                                                                        Can it u demon

                                                                                                         Read 4:02 PM

I snort, turning off my phone and placing it back down on my lap as I go back to staring outside my left-hand window again. Meet Cha Eunwoo and Moon Bin, my two best friends. The only reason I got through high school how I did without major setbacks. Sure, there was the occasional homesickness and all, but had I not met these two, I probably wouldn’t have even attended and graduated. 

Being so far away from the place I grew up never really suited me, and they saw it right away from day one how lonely and upset I looked. I didn't seem to fit in, especially since I skipped a grade and was placed in classes that were very advanced for me. Not that I minded the vigor, but it was hard for me to socialize, let alone make friends. 

That’s when I met them. Freshman year in homeroom before my first literature class. Moon Bin, a boy with parted, coppery-golden hair accompanied by his shy, puppy-eye smile and sweet nature, offered me an empty seat next to him in class, even going as far as to share his textbook and asking how I found the school. No doubt, I was embarrassed and immensely shy, stuttering over my words and failing to meet his soft gaze. However, he didn’t make fun of me nor find me odd. All he did was smile, laughing lightly at my slightly flustered state. He stuck his hand out, introducing himself (most people just call him Moonbin or Bin) with that smile of his, thus the start of our new friendship. Since then, he became someone who always knew how to cheer me up when I was feeling down. No moment was ever dull with him by my side. 

Eunwoo, the tall, brooding black-haired and charismatic student almost everyone knew (and crushed on) of, was usually with Moonbin when we hung out together, but he normally kept to himself. Though quiet and sometimes reserved with his intimidating looks, it didn’t take long for him to break the ice with us, the three of us becoming close friends. Promising to stay like this until we went to college and beyond. Regardless if we all diverge and tread different paths, we would always converge and come back to one another. 

Four years flew by and graduation was upon us. Just like that, the two became like family to me, my ride-or-die duo. The two who were able to turn my world upside down, finding solace in a time where I thought it was nearly impossible for me to.  

My thoughts are interrupted by my “Move” ringtone—yes, I’m a huge Lee Taemin fan—looking down at my phone again to see it’s my brother calling. I sigh, picking up the call.

“What?” 

He gasps dramatically. “Is that any way to address your loving older brother after being away for so long?”

I snort, shaking my head. “Loving my ass, oppa. How are mom and dad?”

“They’re fine, living. Didn’t you tell them you’re coming home?”

“Nope, I don’t even text them that often. You already know this..”

He sighs. “Yeah, I figured.” 

There’s a slight pause on his end, but he continues. “You took the three-thirty train, right? So you’ll be here around five or so?”

“Yeah, give or take.” 

I look out the window again to see the endless stretch of greenery and flowing springs, sometimes even children playing in the fields. I grin mischievously, deciding to poke fun at my brother when he doesn’t respond right away. 

“What, you miss me?”

He makes a sound similar to throwing up. “As if. I got so used to the peace and quiet. I’m not ready for it to go away.” 

“Yah!” I realize that I had yelled a bit too loudly and eyes were now trained on me, and I bow my head in apology. I lower my voice, “You’re such an asshole.”

“Oh, I know, but you still love me anyway.”

“Shut up.”

I can hear his laugh resonate through the phone and a smile unknowingly tugs at my lips. I wouldn’t say it out loud, but it’s true. When I lived with my aunt in Busan for the duration of high school, I missed Jaehyun a lot. Though two years older than me, he didn’t seem to alienate me the way my parents do. While I hate the notion that they spoil Jaehyun endlessly and let him do as he wishes, I won’t lie and say that he was a prick about it. He could’ve been, but he never came off as selfish. I’m really close with my brother, shocking as it may be. Sibling relationships are like that—one minute you want to strangle them with their intestines and the next you’re singing duets together. Crazy, but that’s how it is for us. My parents don’t really pay me any attention, so Jaehyun decides to do that instead. Not complaining though. I’d rather take his pranking and teasing over my parents’ demands and reprimands any day.

“Aight, I’m heading out for a bit. Text me when you arrive.”

I smile again. “Will do, but make sure to get me food!”

“Let me think…” He hums, and I can practically sense the smirk on his end. “Nope. Get your own.”

“Oppa!”

Jaehyun laughs. “See you in a bit, Hyuna. Get here safely. Bye!”   

He hangs up the call before I get a chance to retort, and I scoff. Typical of my brother. He knows how much I enjoy street food, and every time he goes out, it’s almost certain that most of the time he stops somewhere to eat. Did he ever bring food back? Sure, but by the time I’d get to it, most of it was gone anyways. That only lasted a little while before I had gone upstate anyways, so he had more food for himself, I guess.

As the train barrels down the tracks, I feel my heart racing in excitement, but there’s also a slight ounce of dread. I really don’t know why. I want to believe it’s because I’ve been away for too long, but part of me knows it’s the fact that I’ll have to face my parents again. Knowing that I only have two months to decide where I wanted to go and what I wanted to do, I know the bitter truth is that those decisions won’t be left up to me. Last time, I was sent to Busan.

God knows where I’d be sent to now.

***

“Final destination of the KTX Busan-Seoul train at Seoul Station is approaching and will arrive at 05:30 PM. The doors to alight are on the right hand side. All passengers are requested to dismount the train upon arrival. Thank you.” 

That’s my stop.

Gathering my bag and hand luggage, I patiently wait for the train to pull up at the station. Seeing the familiar shops and buildings around me makes my legs bounce up and down in both excitement and anticipation. 

Four long years away from Seoul...

Before getting off, I quickly text the group chat and then my brother, letting them all know that I’ve reached safely. Side-stepping the other passengers exiting the subway doors, I carefully land onto the platform with my luggage in tow. I breathe in the air around as I stretch my arms up into the sky, the grin widening on my face.

It sure as hell feels good to be back home.

I try my best to maneuver through the crowds, but it doesn’t stop the rush of people knocking into me. At times like these, I curse my genetics for favoring my older brother instead of me in terms of height. Eventually, I come to a clearing and when my eyes glance upwards, I spot a rather familiar dark brown-haired six-foot-tall male amongst the small crowd waving me over.

“Hyuna, over here!”

I gasp, my eyes widening. “Oppa!”

He smiles as I begin walking towards him, my feet hurriedly moving across the concrete. The distance between us shortens and I abandon my luggage as he opens his arms wide. 

Only for me to sucker punch him in the stomach.

He yelps in pain, grimacing as he holds his abdomen. “Shit, that hurt. What has Aunt Sua been feeding you up there? Rocks?”

I smack his shoulder, my blood slightly boiling in anger. “Yah, why didn’t you tell me you were coming?! Do you know how much money I blew off for the bus fare?”

He straightens his back before going to rub his shoulder, then behind his neck.

“Fine, fine. My bad. I wanted to surprise you, but I guess that didn’t work, did it?” 

I cross my arms over my chest, huffing in annoyance. He sighs, nodding.

“Okay, okay, I’ll compensate you. Dinner’s on me.”

At this I grin, blinking excitedly. I grab onto his arm and shake it vigorously. “Really? You mean it? You’re the best, oppa!” 

“Look at this brat..” he taunts, shaking his head. In a flash, he headlocks me and rubs the top of my head harshly with his knuckles, upsetting the neatly-tied auburn ponytail. 

“Yah! Quit it!” I smack his arms and flail in protest, but he chuckles, saying this is what I get for cunningly finding a way to exploit him the minute I stepped back into Seoul. 

What can I say? It’s a talent. 

He lets go eventually, and I try to smooth down my already-tangled hair. I grumble incoherently but Jaehyun pulls me into his embrace, wrapping his arms around me. His free hand gently pats the side of my head in comfort.

“Welcome home, sis.”

I stand there stiff for a second before hugging back. He squeezes me tighter and I find myself smiling into his shoulder. 

“Good to be back,” I whisper. 

We stand like that for a moment before he pats my back a couple of times, us pulling away from each other soon after. He reaches behind me to grab my hand luggage as he shoulders my bag. I tell him that I can carry them just fine, but he starts walking away from the platform to the parking lot. I call out after him as I run to catch up, and I can see the corners of his mouth twitch. Jaehyun leads me to his car, a sleek matte-silver convertible Mustang. My mouth drops open in shock at its stunning beauty, my body forcing itself to remain composed for the sake of avoiding public self-embarrassment. 

He throws my luggage in the back seat before he turns to me, smirking at my expression. “You like it?”

“Shit, do I like it? I love it!” I run my fingers over its metallic surface, the silver exterior gleaming in the evening glow. Grinning, I stare up at my brother who catches my gaze as I stand next to the driver’s seat, my fingers already curled on the handle.

“Can I—”

“No.”

“Please—”

“Nope.”

I pout as I pull my hand away and step to the side. Jaehyun chuckles, rubbing my head playfully before getting into the driver’s seat and starting the car. The engine purrs to life as my brother pulls out his shades and wears them. He looks at me and cocks his head to the passenger seat. 

“Don’t just stand there. Get in.”

Smiling, I quickly make my way over to the other side and slip into the passenger seat. I barely have time to buckle in before Jaehyun speeds off. I scream in fright, but he laughs heartily, telling me to let loose.

With the wind harshly whipping around us, I close my eyes and tilt my head upwards, absorbing the remnants of my childhood in a place I’ll always call home. A place where my heart always feels at ease.

My name is Jung Hyuna. I’m eighteen years old, and this is my story.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 |  

[feckin-zicons]

that's why i hate larries, i hate them with all my heart. besides being boring they are hypocrites 🙄

Hey nonnie, sorry its taken me so long to reply but if you’re following me you know I’ve been travelling lately and have been more scatterbrained than usual. Not that I’m ever not scatterbrained, but its been just a little crazier than usual!

Now I wouldn’t go as far to say I hate Larries. After all their delusions can be pretty funny sometimes!

Joking aside, I don’t hate Larries, I love Larries, I’m a Larry, so I really hesitate to tarry the whole group with the same brush. However I do strongly agree with you that there are those who are complete hypocrites. Nothing annoys more more than when Larries ™ treat the other boys, other celebrities, their friends and even family as one more side character to the Larry Show.

In particular when Larries ™ flood comment sections asking or in some cases, ordering people to confirm rumors/the couple being together. The absolute fucking disrespect. Not just because they’re flooding comment sections in videos streams, tweets, what have you, that sometimes have nothing to do with the couple in question, but because its presumptuous and rude as fuck to think they’re owed a coming out- just because they’re fans of the boys.

Stop it. Thats fucking ugly as hell.

While I have no doubt all the boys will one day be out (as referenced by their continued efforts in fighting the closet. I don’t get the sense the boys will just stop at being freed from their contractual obligations). It should and will be on their own terms. Provided they’re not forcibly outed some other way.

Coming out is a deeply personal experience and no one, no one ever, has the right to out someone else. I’ll never not be absolutely furious at the Larries ™ who posted about having ‘receipts’ that would out the boys. Which… tbh weren’t receipts at all but thats a whole other story. I’m also still angry at the reactions after Liams Attitude spread that wouldn’t have been as bad if not for the entitled fandom that peddled ridiculous claims beforehand about Liam confirming Larry to be real.

I mean… What the actual fuck. Setting aside the fandom experience of the time, and boy was it an experience. What right would Liam have confirming Louis and Harry’s relationship? I mean, get some perspective? It doesn’t help that a lot of fandom adults were the ones coming up with, and reblogging those theories and the younger fans ate it up. It would have made more sense for Louis and Harry to do it but idk maybe I’m still out of touch for thinking so. I mean, it felt like every other week someone was talking about Larry coming out. It was such a shit storm oh my god.

Biggest issue I still have with them is that the entitled behaviour hasn’t stopped. For some it seems like, Larry coming out is it for them. Like pack it up, goodbye, shows over, Louis and Harry are gay and in a relationship and everything is rainbows, we get to see cute pictures of them and everyone lives happily ever after.

Yeah, no. Coming out, for anyone, is just the beginning, can’t even begin to imagine what its like for them. They’re still going to need everyones support, and it irritates me that for some fans it seems so fucking conditional.

Time and time again, I’ve seen tweets, and posts, and videos, whatever, going on about Larry coming out and it reads like a fucking wattpad story. Not just that but its always on the assumption by the poster, on the off chance they consider the other 3/5ths of the band and Ziam being a possibility, that Larry will come out first?

What?

I’m sorry but, what?

Everything I’ve seen from the boys tells me they’re all in this together, they support each other and are working through the bullshit as a team. We have all seen the No Judgement music video yes? The merch, posts, double speak etc referencing each other, yes?

I mean, I suppose if you only look at Louis and Harry, like so many do, sure. Only Larry matters, everyone else is a side character in their life.

(Lemme just, scream for a second).

However, that kind of thinking leads them to the wrong conclusions. Like… assuming the SBB/RBB countdown was attributed to nothing, when it counted down to Liam finally being free of Sophia. In the years since, I’ve seen Larries ™ backtrack on claiming the bears had anything to do with the boys, that they weren’t behind it at all, or that they were just trolling the fandom.

You know, despite all the proof otherwise, and some really, really good posts breaking down clues about what the boys were trying to tell us. The moment something might not actually be about Louis and Harry its like all their thinking shuts off. Its frustrating. Really fucking frustrating.

Seriously, fans of the other boys as individulas, not just Ziams, have been talking about the stunts too and how they fit together. Its why we tend to be right, because we’re considering the entire group. They’re still a group. They’re not free until all of them are free.

Just for that Nialls coming out first. Lmao. I’ll call it now. Lets go Niall, whens the baby coming. We all wanna know. Its been years.

Imagine, imagine! Acting like coming out is some race to be won. The fucking audacity.

Go outside and touch fucking grass you absoulte ninny.

I get it, you want to be vindicated, you want to be rewarded for putting your faith in two celebrities being together.

Newsflash you dandelionfluff, its not a race, Louis and Harry coming out isn’t a fucking prize. Thats not what supporting a relationship looks like.

Its worse when someone admits they don’t know much about Ziam or the possibility of Niall being LGBT+, and claim they’re open to it, but then immediately tweet or reblog or sub tweet or tag comment a post or answer an ask from another Larry ™ talking about how Larries ™ are the most marginalized and persecuted group.

???

In what fucking world?

IN WHAT FUCKING WORLD?

If we wanna play that game, boohoo, the media claims Louis and Harry aren’t friends anymore because of crazy shippers. Meanwhile Zayn publicly isn’t friend with anyone and “left” the band… despite the Ziam fandom calling the stunt about either Louis or Zayn “leaving” and getting it down to the exact week (the second article coming out a week before about the Ziam kiss pretty much cemented it for Zayn leaving. Which did a lot to fan the flames of the already rabid fanbase when Ziam got two articles confirming a Ziam kiss over the years and Larry got nada. Like that actually means anything).

Not to mention Larries ™ using the hetties and management tactics against the other parts of the fandom to silence them.

Who cares what the media says anyway!  TPTB, 1DHQ, The Sun, The Mirror, Simon and his minions and their unpaid interns have used the media to split the fandom apart and it worked.

Who the fuck cares if the media calls the 1D stans delusional, you know the truth! The truth it out there and you’ve seen it! The truth is coming! Who gives a damn about what some two bit “journo” who failed out of their creative writing course writes? They get worse by the year. If it wasn’t so pathetic and hilarious I might actually feel embarrassed for them. They can’t even come up with new stories and have just taken to copying old articles, but you’re upset with them??? Give it a rest. Honestly.

The sense of disconnect, entitlement and victimhood of some Larries ™ is absolutely ridiculous.

Oh my god they’re Karens. I’m not trying to be insulting, but thats exactly who they remind me of.

I’m not going to say its a surprise to me that so many in the Ziam fandom are POC, LGBT+, and Neurodivergent and any combination of those, but I am going to say I’ve read a lot of Larry fics that just have Het sex made gay. Those in the Ziam fandom just tend to look at facts in a different way than Larries do due to their life experiences. A interfaith, interracial, relationship where one or both partners fall under the Bi umbrella (not saying Louis or Harry can’t be or aren’t Bi+ but rumors, and the way the fandom markets them, puts them firmly in the gay category) looks very, very different than gay or straight relationship. Both looking from outside and being in one. There’s just different dynamics at play that aren’t often realized or understood by the gays and hets.

Its not a bad thing. All relationships are different. The issue is that theres a lot of biphobia/racism/religious prejudice etc that arises from people being unwilling to understand the inherent differences.

Taking myself for example, I’m bi, like, bi as hell, and I don’t understand how gays and hets only like one gender. I just don’t. Can’t wrap my head around it. If someone asks me to choose one gender over the others to prefer I can’t. Its so stressful. My brain goes into panic mode and it feels like I’m being torn apart. My sense of identity is shaken- its a shit feeling. I just can’t lie to myself like that. If other people feel the same well, its no wonder bi+ have such high rates of depression and suicide. Its not about choosing who to like, there is no choice, I just feel attraction to everyone. Aces, I get. Its similar to being the opposite of what I feel, or not feeling an attraction to someone I’m not interested in. Easy. Gays and hets? I’m completely lost on.

Completely, and I know I’m not the only one who feels that way. But that doesn’t mean I’m not willing to try and understand where they’re coming from. Its alien to me, personally, but I’m not going to shut down the fact, that theres a fuck ton of people who only like one gender or try and make up reasons as to why they’re actually bi+

I digress, none of the boys fall neatly into the gay stereotypes, its just that parts of the Larry fandom have boxed Louis and Harry into certain roles to fit preconceived notions (likely do to them initially fitting in better with the white, sassy, somewhat effeminate twink thats been plastered all over Hollywood as their “LGBT+ representation” for years. Gag), they can understand better, and only look for proof to back up their theories but don’t look at things objectively.

They really need to get out more and make some LGBT+ friends that aren’t on the internet and talk to some gay elders. They need educating that’s not the often sanitized and insulting Hollywood version, that’s all I’m saying.

They made Louis and Harry more palatable for themselves and its… really gross.

I don’t know, I don’t get it.

Some Larries ™ turned the boys into their fandom and fanfiction stereotypes when they’re so much more than that. The Sony leaks should have been enough to dissuade the fandom, and prove that the brand sold to the broader audience is just that- a brand, and yet… Niall only talks about food and golf and Ireland and is only allowed to be straight or ace. If he exists at all its just to be Capt Niall. Liams slow and dumb and depending on the day he’s either Capt Liam or a horrific abusive homophobe. Zayns just The Worst, a unstable drug addict, and the boys hate each other, and they should have kicked him out of the band sooner because he never wanted to be part of them anyway, etc.

It drives me absolutely around the bend some days. They’re real people who don’t owe anyone anything, especially not coming out.

Yes, I think they will. But they’re not obligated to. They can change their minds, I’ll support them regardless of an “official��� coming out or not.

Look, a part of me gets it. They wanna be right, they wanna prove the haters wrong, they want to be able to say I called it all along! The vindication will be sweet.

But like, it takes a quick look at someone other than Louis and Harry to realize theres something hinky going on with Liam, Zayn and Niall. Please listen to their fans who have spent just as much time as you have looking into Louis and Harry compiling together evidence.

It might take a weekend to watch the ILYSM and pterodactyl bros videos and a few more hours looking into some Niall blogs, which isn��t much compared to the hours I know they’ve spent looking into Larry. At least then they’ll have enough information to form an opinion on things.

I wonder, for some, what would happen if Larry didn’t come out, or didn’t come out first, or one of the other boys was outed against their will. Because… I don’t know. It seems like some would rather just be proven right at this point.

I get it. We’re tired. Its been eleven long years. But this isn’t a television show were everything can come to a head with a s3 or s4 cliff hanger and fixed in the series finale. Its real life, and they started off as boys trusting industry veterans who never had their best interests at heart.

Iduno. I just want some Larries ™ to take a step out of the echo chamber, realize life isn’t The Larry Show & co. And especially. ESPECIALLY, that every instance were someone, friends, family, co-works, industry peeps etc support the boys they are SUPPORTING THE BOYS, NOT THE FANDOM. They are not “confirming Larry for the fans” they’re doing it to support the couple, not to cater to the fandom. Please stop confusing the two. There’s a huge fucking difference. Learn it.