#also idk but i got sick help me | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

rotshi · 3 months ago

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theyre so stupid Silly Ref:

#sonadow #shadonic #shadowxsonic #sonicxshadow #sonic x shadow #shadow x sonic #sonic shadow #shadow sonic #X-Files AU #ghghgh this is the last ref of this ep i promise maybe-#theyre so dumb i love them so muchhh #also idk but i got sick help me

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adhdandcomics · 4 months ago

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perhaps the most important question i’ve ever asked:

does anyone have tips for people trying to stop being chronically late to everything in the world that aren’t weirdly judgmental and aggressive or flat out lies

#when i tell you every single resource i’ve ever found or tried to get through or anyone i’ve ever asked #has been just so. mean about it #not even intentionally #not always at least #but there’s so much inherent shame tied to being late to things or being a person who used to be late to things #that i don’t think people can untie that from their ‘helpful tips’#it’s all ‘i used to also be a lazy uncaring piece of shit! you don’t have to be a horrible wretched loser anymore!’ and it’s like. okay.#you see how that’s not helping. right.#making me feel worse about it is NEVER helpful. i promise you i already have tortured myself over it FARRR more than any ‘on time’ person #ever had #this has been a comic i’ve been stewing on for ages as well but. well there’s of course the shame #idk it’s something that people are always despicably mean about bc fundamentally people who have never struggled with it #see it as a personal choice to be late #and as something one needs to just ‘try harder’ to fix. and that if you don’t #you inherently don’t care about other people’s time or even other people in general #and that feels horrible! it feels really bad!!#i mean i’ve got it from EVERYONE. disability allies. other adhd folks. disability resource offices #it’s something that nobody ever cares to acknowledge or try to accommodate for #bc time blindness and exec dysfunction are NEVER taken seriously as disabilities. they’re always always viewed as a personal failing #and i’m sick and tired of it. bc all this does is make people struggling with this Hate themselves #and worry endlessly that maybe they Are selfish and actually Don’t care about anyone else #there’s a bit too much here to keep in the tags i should really do the comic for adhd awareness month

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ra-vio · 30 days ago

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this blog is 11 years old now 🎉

I drew the siblings ever to celebrate as usual

#loz #wind waker #legend of zelda #toon link #aryll #I wasn't gonna draw anything but then I sketched link real quick and I was like okay wait i can do this #and then my brother dragged me outside ☠ but i still got it done today!#the anniversary is today. tumblr sent me a notification like ravio is 11 years old now! ravio the character is actually 11 years old.#albw released in2013. i received two reminders this morning. ravio drawing soon maybe. coming this year definitely. maybe #arylls like big brother use a damn fork #<- that was the tag when I first started drawing them in 2018 #also i noticed when I draw aryll i always draw her in her blue dress so i decided to change it up. i only play 2nd playthroughs of wind wak #r because fun fact: i hate link's green tunic and hat. i finished a first playthrough years ago with a finished nintendo gallery #and then when i want to start a new playthrough i fight ganondorf again go through the credits cry and then BAM new game no-plus #i miss link's green tunic now though. its been so long. im so sick of champions garb...............idk the green is iconic idk #im not a huge fan of it but i think his base form should be green again. with the hat. let him look doofy as a default again #he was green in echoes of wisdom but i need them to follow through after again.#i didnt finish echoes of wisdom yet (SOON IM TRYING IM STUCK I NTHE SONIC ADVENTURE 1 WEB HELP) but what I saw of Link there?#he was kinda terrifying lmao its always funny to see that link is so extremely competent because i am not. that boy efficient #im stuck in the sa1 web because everyone is always talking about how good it is. so i played the pc port and. its apparently awful idk it i #thats just what sa1 outside of emerald coast plays to me tbh. but the dreamcast is supposed to be better. and i own a dreamcast. free me #i played on gamecube too. 12 years ago. it made me sick. maybe one day i'll install some mods that make it play better #why does it feel like the month is over when its only january 6 #i played sa1 as a kid btw. just emerald coast tho. ALSO I DIDNT BUY A DREAMCAST FOR THIS I ALREADY OWNED ONE

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synthshenanigans · 5 months ago

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HAPPY [late] BIRTHDAY TO MY FAVORITE SONG ILY FINE IM FINE

pretend its fine im fine day & not 9/11 okay shuuuush it took a lot longer than i thought

[going into the photo looks better i swear. Also, close up & time it took below :}]

also add like 30 minutes for lighting i did in a sepearate art app.

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deerlisteners · 1 year ago

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thinking abt felix being protective of areadbhar and feeling entirely normal about it actually

#deertalking #feposting #few3h #ITS SO. LIKE THE WAY HES DEPICTED IN THIS GAME DRIVES ME CRAZY #like i haven’t thought this through i don’t have a point here exactly #i’m just thinking abt the screencaps here from the king awakens & him giving ingrid glenn’s spur & his support w mercedes & the cat #where mercie points out the cat likes him & he goes ‘well i can’t keep it. It’s practically a kitten what if it has parents that miss it’#not to even mention wildflowers for the future!!!!#like. ROLLS ON THE GROUND #it’s abt ‘i’m not immune to emotions you know’ it’s about it’s about #it’s abt how he feels like his emotions were disregarded since childhood (esp after duscur) so he pushed away the #sentimentality because he’s seen where it got his friends (revenge quests & death wishes)#but he can’t help but follow his friends down those paths anyway because he loves them so much!!!!!!!#like him acknowledging the spear’s importance to dimitri bc it’s all that’s left of lambert but ALSO #in that moment it’s all FELIX has left of DIMITRI. ykwim #like felix babygirl my beloved y do u think it makes u sick to see areadbhar in the enemy’s possession……..#he is just so hypocritical i adore him. he might be the character of all time to me #bro is trying so hard to b a lone wolf but was NOT built for that he was built to be loved and cherished by his friends #and so he shall be. thank you #um anyway idk what my point here was. i just like thinking abt how much felix loves everybody #someday i will make a coherent felix post. today is not that day #dmlxposting #dimilix #yknow what yeah.

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celestiallime · 1 month ago

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I'm actually devastated cause i woke up to an atrocious sore throat..

#im literally just a girl blogging #what the fuck #i literally just got over being sick two weeks ago AND MY GRANDMA LITERALLY DISINFECTED THE ENTIRE HOUSE WHEN MY FAMILY WAS AT THE MALL #im actually so sad #AND TO GET SICK BEFORE CHRISTMAS HAS NEVER HAPPENED TO ME #theres a first time for everything:(#im suffering #ranting #i absolutely hate getting sick #now idk if im gonna be able to go over and do early Christmas at a family members house #cause im sick AND she literally has a newborn baby and i dont want the baby getting sick #omg and on top of all that #im going back with said family for a few weeks and im gonna be miserable if IM FUCKING SICK #also doesn't help that my cousin and his gf sleep with fans on AND SO MY ROOM FAN IS ON AND ITS ALREADY COLD IN THIS HOUSE

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talkorsomething · 8 months ago

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I have Got to get more transgender

#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ #transmasc #trans ftm #transgender #i like 2 say i'm very trans already but unforch i am Not Really. mostly boring ftm Guy Ever #so tempted to cut my hair again but my sense of what i look like is already so fuzzy i dont think it'd help..#want to dye my hair anyways. at this point i'd take whatever color i can get if not purple LOL #it's almost everything i could want and yet ... still me. still the same life. stuck.#soooo high functioning like you wouldnt believe EXCEPT istg i need an emotional support human who will guide me through tasks #such as 'pay with your Moneys Card at the Store'#or... idk that's it really. maybe go grocery shopping without feeling like i'm not meant to be there also #or like. exist in general maybe #reasons why not emotional support Animal: creature cannot understand capitalism. and also is not as necessary as a service dog specifically #idk! every time i come on here i fall apart (in text) and then pull myself back together for another day of ... this i guess.#i'm not even having like crying breakdowns or anything to go along with it i'm just held inside this shell of a body. typing away again #i'm soso tempted to make things worse. progress wouldn't matter anymore... at least maybe it would feel real that i'm like this #i wish my face fit on my body right. and also that i did not look quite so much like a vaguely gnc lesbian #like at LEAST let me look butch as hell but no. curse of sad hair & uncertainty #miss my little mullety thing from that brief period in october... miss my short hair from back in 2017 ...#just dont feel satisfied with what i am now. in general.#top surgery is literally Within my reach but i'm not sure about cost and i need to wait because of doing guard now......#my list of do i want t i kept for the past month turned out to be a bunch of maybes #partially cause i got sick. partially cause it stopped being shark week and i forgot about it #as always happens...#still unsure in my new(er) name. only heard it once #didn't feel the same way as with my old one? but idk. just don't know.#missing guard also but feeling conflicted about not having time for other hobbies...#since winter season is over i've had so much time to play guitar! that's insane! mostly cause i stopped playing for unrelated reasons...#just tired again. wonder if i need more sleep than what i always get. kind of restless.#there's nothing else to say i guess. just wish i could be a person the way everyone else seems to be.

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guinevereslancelot · 7 months ago

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i should be able to call in sleepy to work

#so so unbelievably sleepy for the past week straight what is going on w me lol #all day long im so sleepyyyy #i keep going to bed early but its not helping #i haye calling out of work tho #i only did it once when i was literally puking and miserable and could not physically come in but i tried i got up and started getting ready #but it just wasnt happening #and then i requested time off for my eye surgeries and did my second one yon friday #it got approved at the last second and i felt so insanely stressed and guilty for taking time off for a necessary surgery lmao #idk how im going to use my vacation time bc its the use or lose kind but they really dont want u to use it tbh #also its combined w the sick time so when i tried to request the day off it showed it in the negative like you cant do this lol #but i requested it anyway #but i think that means i wont have any vacation timer left after all my surgeries #??#or something #its confusing which i think is the point to make people take less time off lol #this has been a shitpost

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fantabulisticity · 7 days ago

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Welp. I came home sick from work because my cough is worse today and a little lower in my chest. Wearing a mask gave me some humidity to breathe, and that helped a bit, but I took it off when I got home and now I'm coughing again. I'm going to take a hot bath and breathe in the humidity for a while.

#I'm also going to google how long should i wait before going to the doctor #it's only been a week that i've had it but it was starting to get better and then got worse again. idk if my body will take care.m.#...of it on its own or if i need to get help. i don't want to go to the doctor and pay $40 for a visit if they're going to tell me to stay..#...home and drink water and rest bc i'm already planning to do that.#there are so many things at work i want to get done. but i can't be around other people like this. there's so much gunk in my chest.#i can't pass this around #my boss is fine with me staying home while i'm sick. so at least i have that going for me. god i'm so glad to be out of retail.#personal #illness

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adore-gregor · 1 month ago

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.

#holidays have not been what i hoped for so far 😔😔#well the first week was good but then i got sick 😭#and it's been so awful #having a cough is literally the worst i couldn't sleep it was so bad #and i couldn't even enjoy doing anything really because you can't properly focus on the thing bc ur coughing non stop #i hate it sm #and today it was gone all day only that now it is back altough not as bad as before but still #it always gets worse in the evening #like help i just want this to end #what made it even worse i had real plans to study and now i barely got anything done 😭😭#and now i'm scared for exams bc i couldn't follow the plan altough i still have more than 2 and 3 weeks left #in my mind i already think i'm gonna do badly bc i need to study more i'm afraid #and i'm also upset at myself even though it's not my fault i got sick but i keep thinking i still could have done more ughh #to make it even worse i coudn't play tennis for a whole week and i was so looking forward to playing everyday (and improving) 😢😢#i couldn't do any sports or see anyone i miss it sm #i hope at least in the new year i can do stuff again 🥺#it was just the worst cold/flu and idk why whenever i get it it's that extreme 😵‍💫#or idk is it normal that you can't sleep bc of it ... i just don't wanna get sick again ever lmao it's the worst #i guess christmas was still nice it wasn't that bad then and it was a lovely day with my family :)#and our tree was really pretty this year and i'm really happy with my gifts and also those i gifted 🥰#the week before was good i did play lots of tennis and i went on a christmas market with uni friend and to vienna for a trip with my mom ^^#but maybe it was too much sometimes i wonder if i do something wrong or if it is just bad luck like i did train a lot #and i played a tennis match for my club and won against a higher ranked opponent so yay 😁#and i played really well i feel like i once again really improved my level :)) but i did play kinda sick already so maybe that was rly bad😅#maybe i should stop doing that 😅 but i didn't know it's gonna get this bad i just had the worst headache and sore throat #well ig i should have known but i also always feel like i have to play and i love matches and like my team needs me?#who else would have won that? i'm one of the best at my team and the others who are rly good weren't there that day so i felt responsible 😅#honestly my mom possibly she is also quite good but it would have been close and i wasn't sure so i played 😅#but i have done this too often by now... playing sick i really can't help myself 🤦‍♀️

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pleasedontcareaboutme · 4 months ago

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i think i finally realized why ive been feeling so damn depressed lately again

sorry for writing this here. im really hurting actually. im not good. i feel a bit helpless too. idk who to talk to bc i dont want to burden anyons and i donf feel like anything could console me right now

Like. fuck me man. thanks for saving me but. why the hell are you not here. i dont want to do this without you. i hate only being able to remember you. i was supposed to grow old with you, not without you.

And. honestly. even with all this bullshit i say here, all the endless times i spend trying to write down my feelings, abt you, about all the pain ive felt my life, it doesnt get better. not at all. and no words, no poetry takes it away and i truly feel like nobody will ever truly understand how suffocated i felt all my life.

and i want to change thanks to you but. i dont know. nothing's satisfying enough.

no matter what, i truly only feel great when im in that daydream like world you created.

and these past days ive been thinking a lot that. i really wouldnt mind dying right now. not at all. because at least i know what happiness feels like. and i want to stay in that state. probably, even in this life your music will bring me happiness, but i want to be trapped in it.

im tired of being so unseen, and even when im seen, im hurting. but i dont know whats hurting. i think im just really tired thats all.

and. ye. i feel brave tbh. i still havent posted my video to instagram, bc im not brave for that. i dont know. and i feel like a hypocrite bc everything is true that i wrote there but at the same time these are my thoughts currently

in a long while i looked up suicide methods again. i feel so hopeful, but im not really sure if really for the future. jm sorry this is probably alarming. i will probably not kill myself but. idk. im not sure actually. i dknt know what to say. i wasnt cut out for this wordly shit.i feel unlovable but even if im loved, i donf want to be. i dont want anything. just let me stsy in this quiet place snd just. disappear. i wouldnt want my family to hurt if i die but i wont know about it anyways. idk man. i feel strongly i could die calmly this time and thats nice. bc 6 years ago i was terrified, and hurt. but now im content and kind of ready idk man. its not a terrible feeling, its a "this is it, it was nice while it lasted" ig.

there are no clouds in my head actually. i truly dont feel like im thinking irrationally, i feel like this would just be like. the end goal i was looking for. to feel true love once. it was nice.

no goodbye yet bc idk how id kms even if i do. But ill tell u guys if i found something.

#you know it's funny #i still feel this way but the moment i wrote this #on tiktok one of my friends that was there for most of my times followed my secret tiktok account and #the friend that i lost last year checked my account and #i hope she fucking knows how much that means to me #because i always felt like she hstes me but i still deeply feel she cares abf me and silently looks out for me and i feel so sorry #bc in the past 4 days she has checked my account multiple times and idk man #i truly feel like she sees that im struggling i appreciate it a lot #but i could never tell her that because what if im wrong and also #i dont fit in that friendship anymore #but im still really greatful #for checking up on me even like this #*most of my life #noticed a typo #idk anyways i just really needed to scream this into the void. I didn't want to be so sad today. i just scrolled instagram to numb myself #all day. but i got off my phone it was terrible. idk. i feel im not sure i can get my shit together by monday #im sick of having to fall apart and build myself up every fucking day man. and each day i literally wake up telling myself affirmations #trying to convince myself that its oka #it will be okay at least when u are home at night. wait for that moment everyday but. im tired of waiting for night to be happy man.#i have 30 mins to either post that fuckin video and make a fool of myself bc i told myself i need to post it on the 19th. but idk man. Im #terrified it will only disappoint me. people will make fun of me. idk man. its not that funny is it. or is it? how pathetic i am for clingi #g to the only hope in my life like a fucking abandoned dog man. but what can i do. i dont want to depend on you so much. but then who shoul #i depend on? if i depend on myself im just gonna kill myself man.idk. my grief is getting worse day by day. i still practice guitar everyda #hoping that maybe you will come back or something will come back. maybe mywill to live will come back? maybe the Instrument will play a not #that I can depend on? i dont really know what im looking for thats the worst. living is uncomfortable and dark. even when im smiling with m #friends i feel lost.there's something i feel like they know and i dont. when they could name their favorite colors in kindergarten i alread #knew something was different abt me.its really isolating.not having a clue of who am i.i keep saying im finding myself more and more but tb #i still in a way like im always wearing a costume. i wonder how naked id have to be to find myself. sorry for word vomitting.it maybe helps #anyways acchan i miss you.this world feels really stale without you.i wish I could truly show how much I love you with my words or life but #i dont really think it makes a difference.my voice really doesnt matter that much in the end.maybe im too much

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hal-o-ween · 5 months ago

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Aging user base post incoming, but in the last week I have had to buy both eye drops and nasal spray for my allergies because decongestant allergy medicine alone isn't enough anymore. One of my cup holders in my car is basically a medicine cabinet at this point between those and my lactaid

#on the bright side nasal spray kicks in so fast and i will never have to endure an itchy eye again thanks to eye drops #but yeah i think my allergies are getting worse anyways as i get older (makes sense if im anything like my dad in that regard)#but i do think part of the problems it's giving me now are like. related to when i had covid a couple years back #because yeah my dad has really bad congestion but idk if he gets the same shortness of breath and subsequent chest pain i am #but between the medicine and nasal spray i think ive got that under control now #i also ordered myself some fun cloth masks that will go with a lot of my favorite shirts #just because like. masks help with allergies on top of keeping you from getting other people sick #and i figure i should probably invest in some reusable ones at this point. and if im doing that then i can get fun ones

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crows-of-buckets · 5 months ago

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Its the middle of the night and instead of sleeping I keep thinking about Aviae and Anders's dynamic ougaggga

#dragon age #oc: aviae surana #like. they have ~10 year age gap give or take #i think little four year old aviae saw anders and just decided she was going to follow him around #because she refuses to cooperate with literally anyone else anders gets stuck with babysitting duties #(he acts like he hates it at first but he really doesnt. although he doesnt appreciate the extra attention from everyone else. makes it #harder to plan escapes yk)#sometimes i worry im overindulging in these two being so family like. then i remember that i can do what i want and avi is my oc so #anyways. anders teaching her to read and write because shes FOUR and so so little and doesnt know how to do hardly anything #and as she gets older aviae decides to specialize in spirit healing because of anders #(he acts wounded when shes better at it than he is but in honesty hes just so proud of her)#they have a very sibling dynamic and it makes me sick to think about. in a good way though #i think as aviae got older she started trying to help anders with his escapes #she probably assisted at least a little bit with the escape after karl. even if it was just distracting someone lmao #anyways. they are so very special. to me #worldstate: mage rights #i may be cringe but i am free. idc <3 #i think the idea of anders and surana/amell beinh close before awakening is neat idk #aviae and anders dynamic is funny becuase like. the tiny little elven mage who you watched grow up is now your boss and is also the you kno #hero of fucking fereldan. crazy #my ocs

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daz4i · 1 year ago

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started looking for apartments like as a haha goofy thing to pass the time (and bc i wanna move out soon so may as well) and Hm. found one that seems almost too perfect for its price. like the only downside for me is that it's not in a neighborhood i wanna live in but it's still considered a good area, and it's the neighborhood i grew up in so i know the area well (like literally, 2 minutes walk from my old house) which is a bonus. one of the sites i found it on said the owner also signed some guarantee thing? which is a good thing apparently ig idk real estate terms. i kinda wanna go look bc i'm scared someone else will take it lol but i. am too scared to take any step there. Sad!

#i looked through like 5 different sites and this was the only relevant option to my needs btw #i could maybe go for a higher price but :/ i don't wanna rely on my parents TOO much #i'm still gonna need their help for this price but like my disability funds thingie can cover it as is too (it'll just be tight. yknow?)#for an apartment with an elevator that's still a sick price tho. an ac in every room? and it allows animals. damn #the location thing is. like i said it's a good neighborhood. but it's also religious which for me is... uncomfortable #(this is one of the reasons my parents were eager to move away from there actually)#still the public transit there is relatively good and within walking distance. so. Hm #I'd say it's sus that no one took it yet but it was posted today. within the last few hours even. bc the site said january 3rd #idk ig i'll talk to my parents abt it tomorrow maybe. see if they can help me with making calls too. hm #anyway sorry for the ramble i just got hit with a wave of emotions with no name i needed to turn somewhere outside of myself

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psychojetcocktail · 6 months ago

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do you ever have stuff to do but the bone ache gets you?

#iancu realness #idk what illness i have but i would rly like to find out #i cant do shit help me #i feel weaker than a rice noodle rn #and also i think i got sick again

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kavehayati · 10 months ago

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I wish I could inject pasilyo into my brain so I can have permanent happiness

#There’s this specific part of the song #It srsly alters my brain chemistry #Anyways #i hate tumblr sm #Idk like I Gen hate being on here sm #No matter what account I make no matter if I tell ppl about it whether I don’t tell ppl I just hate this place soooo much #Like if I have a following it sucks because it’s rlly lonely if I don’t it’s still lonely and then if there’s nobody at all it’s lonely #Loneliness is what got me to discord boy so like :D #The fact I am genuinely missing him sm I’m gonna krill myself 😻🙏#Also I think I hate talking to minors cause these kids be letting themselves get groomed all the time I’m so tired of seeing it #The creep in my course is being so weird to Raisa who is a minor … I can’t help but think it’s all my fault … I invited her to the pharm gc #To show her how messy it was ….#I didn’t expect her to follow and accept requests of everyone …#Anyways I just am so annoyed. Like I wish I could have one person just one where I can be confident in being their no.1 but every time I th #Think I’m maybe somewhere high up on someone’s list of important ppl I realise I overestimated my position even tho I’m rlly self conscious #And being myself down over that. Also I still hate Eid. I hate Eid sm. How do ppl genuinely enjoy Eid. Idk if I’ve ever been excited for Ei #It’s like I’m just suddenly getting more sick of ppl by the day. I Gen don’t like talking to ppl at all even tho I used to rely on talking #To others like its sustenance now it’s just such a hassle to me because I’m so sick of being unimportant to literally every single person I #Have ever known. Literally everyone except maybe dahlia idk. the only person who has never gotten mad/snapped at me o is dahlia #And knowing my luck that will soon be taken from me too. Anyways good riddance to tumblr i loathe this site and im sick of the mind games #All the time from just existing on here. Gen makes me feel ill. I’m so sick of that girl I like and sick of everyone. The only time ppl car #Is when I cause a scene. And ykw atp I loathe being showed sympathy and pity for these sorts of posts because it just feels like a big joke #Cause why couldn’t you just care when I was fine. Why do you ONLY care when I’ve had enough of your bad behaviour. How does one make someon #Like me go mad with all these things #Istg if I come back to this dumb site whether to this acc to the tora one or my other account everyone has permission to beat me up.#dora daily #Tldr;I HATE ppl and everyone ever + I’m just sick of pretending like everyone doesn’t suck cause how can ppl be so insufferable intolerable #Insane horrible in every way and ppl like them. How do they live with themselves when they’re this aggravating. Every day I hate ppl more #Because their mannerisms their everything is just so embarrassing.#Essay tags 😻😻😻

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