#also i understand why buck did what he did and think it was valid and he was in pain

[azaharinflames]

I fell into the deepest depression I’ve had for years when Buck and Tommy broke up. I just wanted to cry so badly but decades of trauma kept me from doing that. Add on that Trump had just been re-elected, and add in that my Dad had been admitted to hospital with a collapsed lung it just took me down.

I’ve mostly gotten over it. I spent 24 hours writing my idea of a fix it fic (won’t happen on show cause they all suck but it was cathartic). I can’t remember what caused my breakdown but I did end up crying. My eyes felt less puffy after as well.

I understand that it’s a fake relationship in a fake show but something about it spoke to me. And just watch it end hurt me worse. The last time I had actually cried hard was in 2021 when my mother-in-law passed away from COVID. So why did this stupid relationship affect me so much. I feel embarrassed for reacting this badly. I don’t even like to talk to my partner about it because he wouldn’t understand.

Hi, Nonnie! Thank you for your ask.

I am so, so sorry to read that. Listen - it's not stupid. It's not embarrassing So don't think your feelings surrounding it and your reaction to any of it is that, because I promise you: nothing about it should make you feel embarrassed.

Here is the thing: Art, in whatever form, is one of the things that move people the most, historically*. Art is a universal language that doesn't simply exist in a painting or a sculpture but in a myriad of different forms that, especially in the last few decades, have expanded immensely. Art can be a channel for our emotions, can be our choice of escapism, can be the thing we see ourselves reflected in and thus, the thing that we connect to because, hey - that's us. And if we see 'us' overcoming on screen, surely we can overcome in real life, right? That's one of the reasons why representation is so damn important.

Yeah, it was a relationship. But it shouldn't be reduced to just that. Instead of dismissing our feelings by making our issue seem nonsensical and small, let's think - my issue was because a piece of Art I connected to deeply was dealt with in a damaging way. And that carries consequences.

There is also the fact that, I think, for a lot of us, it was more than the break-up. The biggest thing to take into context was the election because it is just a matter of fact that we needed a win so bad that week, and we got the opposite of that. To get a bit more personal, I was already dealing with my town being hit with the worst natural disaster in my country this century, still had to hear from some of my friends to know if they were okay or even alive (fortunately, they're all fine), and I was seeing only tragedy whenever I went online. So this happening hit me really hard as well - but, like you, it was one of the things. Still, I spent three days barely able to take a bite and barely able to sleep, and a week with really high anxiety.

And sure, I did feel silly, but if I do love one thing, I sure do love introspection, I reached the aforementioned conclusion and reflection on Art (let me know if it helped or is a bunch of bs tho).

I think what you're doing, writing a fix-it fic, is amazing! You're channeling your feelings through Art, and I am sure it does feel very cathartic. I haven't written for 911 yet (definitely want to, I have some ideas that could work), but I have some years of writing for Marvel and Seblaine (Glee) on my back, so trust me when I say this is the better choice you could do - channel your feelings through your Art, and you will end up with something beautiful, I'm sure of it.

Sorry this was too long, but I'm here if you (or anyone else) needs to rant, vent, or discuss something (911 or whatever, something else is valid as well)

Take care, Nonnie <3 and all of you as well <3

*I have a bachelor's on this, please trust me on it lmao

[jackwhiteprophetic]

Sometimes I think about whether in the lawsuit era Eddie sat alone on his couch, staring at the phone, wondering if he should text, waiting for a text or something and listening for if Chris wakes up from another nightmare and is reminded a little too much of Shannon

[bekolxeram]

I'm usually very block happy, but sometimes a couple of hot takes from the opposite side of the fandom manage to slip through. I'm no saint, I admit I do get quite worked up at first, but after some time, I realize they give me new perspectives to scenes I've watched countless times and discover things I didn't pick up before. So this one is for all of you, staunch Tommy haters, thank you for enriching my viewing experience.

In 7x04, when Tommy goes to Buck's loft to talk things out, this line gives some people the ick, because it echoes what Taylor said in 5x05. In that episode, Buck thought his team was off because they blamed him for Chimney leaving. He talked to Taylor about it, she shared her own experience with her boss being sulky around her, and it turned out her boss was just in a lot of physical pain, she ended the conversation with "maybe not everything is about you". While what she said was absolutely right, and she made an effort to make Buck feel appreciated at the end of the episode, but I can also see Buck not feeling supported emotionally at the time the conversation occurred. In a fashion true to her profession, Taylor delivered it in a very blunt, direct and advisory way. Her being right did not cancel out Buck feeling insecure about everyone acting weird around him and him not knowing why.

What Tommy says here though, is in a a completely different context.

Before all of this, Tommy has already reassured Buck that he's not trying to replace him, that his place in Eddie and Christopher's life is irreplaceable.

Look at Buck's smile, he's apparently in a better mood than before. It's like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders.

So going in this next part, Buck is more receptive to what he frankly needs to hear: Eddie isn't hanging out with Tommy because Buck did something wrong, he just enjoys Tommy's company.

We've witnessed Buck's growth over 7 seasons, now he can recognize that getting jealous easily is one of his character flaws, he tends to overthink and make other's action personal when he's feeling insecure in a relationship. He's telling Tommy this probably to signal that he understands he messed up and he understands what he did wrong. He never expected Tommy to validate his feelings.

But Tommy does empathize with his predicament.

Buck doesn't understand what Tommy, the cool, confident (and hot) pilot would be jealous over. And he almost can't believe Tommy gets what he's been feeling.

Tommy tells Buck that he's envious of the ride-or-die familial bonds within the 118 nowadays, as if he didn't also put his career and life in danger just to save Athena and Bobby (probably Hen's career as well), after one phone call from Chimney.

Now it's Buck's turn to reassure Tommy.

Another hot take I've seen from the other side goes like "if Tommy was nicer to Hen and Chimney back in the days, he wouldn't have to be jealous over what the 118 has now". You know what? Judging by Tommy's face here, he probably would agree. This is not the face of a man who is proud of what he did. This is the face of a man who is burdened by guilt and regret, this is a man haunted by his past, this is a man who doesn't think he deserves the praise.

Buck even cites fake mouth static as an example of Tommy's effort in aiding the 118's clandestine rescue mission, and they naturally fall into a flirty dynamic. I have no explanation for that, except, your honor, this is exhibit A against the "no chemistry" allegation.

Buck then spells it all out for Tommy that he also put everything on the line just for the 118, without hesitation. Tommy looks like he still has a hard time accepting it as an act worthy of redemption for his past behavior.

We've all made mistakes, and we all know we can't go back to the past and change what we did, so the best way forward is to change ourselves and be better. Judging by Tommy's "and [Gerrard] didn't make me a better person" line in 7x10, he quite possibly reflected on this a lot. Yet, sometimes you still can't help but doubt yourself over if you've learned enough from your past, if you're a good enough person now. I can't imagine how good it feels hearing Buck say out loud that he actually likes the person Tommy is now.

Apparently Buck likes Tommy so much that he came up with excuses just to hang out with him and get to know him.

Tommy is pleasantly surprised, because he did tell Buck to call him when he wants to go up. In fact, Buck can call him for whatever reason, Tommy accepted the Harbor tour request, there's nothing indicating that he would feel weird just hanging out with Buck. Tommy just doesn't know how much of a overthinker and bi disaster Buck truly is yet, but that's the story for another time.

Buck and Tommy really don't know much, if anything, about each other at this stage, as you can see in 7x05, but they're already validating each other's feelings. We've seen Buck get his feelings ignored, hurt, dismissed and kind of fetishized for 6 seasons, now this is something he's been looking for the whole time, for someone to understand what he's going through. At the same time, this interaction must also be quite freeing for Tommy, who's been haunted by demons from his own past.

[userautumn]

I don’t think O Stark was trying to be malicious or biphobic but he worded some answers poorly and kind of came off a tad heartless. Also, this week hasn’t been a good week for many people and add in a major part of the fandom saying bucktommy bones, his comments must feel like the last straw especially because up until this point, he seemed really positive about the relationship.

I mean, I won't say he seemed positive about the relationship at all, to be honest. He's been positive about Buck being bisexual, which a lot of people unfortunately and wrongly conflated with him being positive about the Queer relationship itself. But Oliver has always seemed neutral about Buck and Tommy together, which is fair and a non-issue to me. His eager endorsement is not required for him to be a professional and do his job, which he did. I think a lot of people set themselves up for disappointment in a lot of significant ways by trying to compare the way Oliver spoke about Buddie to the way he spoke about BuckTommy by convincing themselves the two are/were comparable. But they weren't. I understand why people did it—with so many loud voices invalidating or speaking negatively about the ship, it was very easy to try and create valid "defenses" to combat that. But in doing so, I think people placed way more weight on Oliver's scant interactions with the ship than maybe he intended.

So now, we fast forward to the present where Oliver, the actor, is thrilled that Buck, the character, is single and Oliver, the actor, can explore what it means to have fun with and play a bisexual character on screen. It's okay for him to feel this way, and to want to have fun with this character now that he's not in a monogamous relationship. But the way he phrased this sentiment came across, to some people, as a mimicry of what we've been hearing all summer—that Buck needs to "explore his bisexuality" in order for his sexuality to be valid, which is biphobic and is also simply not true. So high emotions, and Oliver's own careless word choice, created a perfect storm of biphobic accusations that aren't one hundred percent fair, especially considering how carefully this show has treated this character and this relationship thus far.

I understand the hurt feelings, I really do. A lot of people who relied on this escapism and who put high hopes into BuckTommy endgame are trying to find equilibrium after this surprising shake-up, and I truly do get it. I'd just caution and advise people to not let their emotions become so inflamed that they lose sight of rationality and decency, and to maybe check their own fandom interactions/beliefs to make sure they didn't succumb to a BuckTommy hivemind in the same way Buddies often succumb to a Buddie hivemind.

[lemotmo]

I cropped the question for you on this one. But ugh the answer 💗

Q. What other canon plots do you hate, if you don't mind sharing? Also you've mentioned people who haven't watched the series in its entirety not really having valid opinions. You don't really think that do you? Their opinion on the current show should be just as valid. An opinion is an opinion. Everyone is allowed to view things differently.

A. Hi anon. It's a show that has run for 7 seasons, there's been several plots I haven't loved. In terms of plots I hate though, the easy go to one is the sperm donor plot (which I'm guessing you haven't seen). It had the potential to be interesting, but they just ended up doing nothing with it. And picking Buck specifically to be the donor definitely needed context the show just didn't bother providing. Buck is way too emotionally wired to father a child and then just never care to see or hear about that child again. I also absolutely hated the couple he donated to. I hated them. I thought the whole fight club thing with Eddie was not great. Technically with the way Eddie is wired it did make sense for him to a point, and again had potential, but again, it just kind of stopped with no real resolution or point in the end. Buck's lawsuit is a widely hated storyline by many, but I kind of understood what they were going for, only because Buck can be singularly sighted at times. But I still tend to skip over it in my rewatches. I don't care for the parental redemption arcs because sometimes parents just suck, and their adult children have the right to live their lives telling people their parents sucked. Buck and Eddie's parents sucked. They sucked in different ways, but they both definitely sucked. Lastly as far as hated plots go, the entire back half of season 7(episodes 7-10) belongs in a fire pit of hell never to be seen again. I won't watch any of it ever again. I rebuke it entirely. It was abysmal.

Now, I know this is not going to be the answer you were hoping for, but anyone whose knowledge of the show consists solely of 7 episodes from one season absolutely does not have a valid opinion of the characters or the show. We would be here days if I did this character by character so for the sake of time I'm going to relegate this answer to Buck, you know the half of your ship you all care the least about, but the half the audience and the show cares the most about. You never met and don't understand the reference Buck 1.0, or Buck 2.0 for that matter. You don't know clipboard Buck, or that it's canon that Eddie is the only human alive who finds that Buck endearing. You don't know who Daniel is, or how he ties into Buck's complete lack of self worth. You don't know who Carla is or how Buck met her or who she now is to Eddie and Christopher. You don't know why Buck doesn't associate with the name Evan, and why it's actually gross that Tommy refuses to call him Buck. You don't know why Buck had to wear a protective sleeve on his leg during the pickup basketball game. You don't know the significance of 3 minutes and 17 seconds. You don't know that Buck basically spent the better part of three years without a couch. You don't know that during the tsunami while trying to protect whatever was left of Christopher's innocence he started a game of I spy so Christopher would look up instead of down at the water and the bodies floating by. You don't know who taught Buck how to cook. You don't know he tended bar and worked on a ranch at one point before going to the fire academy. You don't know that Bobby fired him. This is nowhere near everything but I'm guessing you get the point. If you don't want to watch the entire series don't. No one is going to force you. But we all know the reason you won't watch it is because learning who Buck truly is would no longer allow you the ability to mold him entirely out of your Tommy headcanons. He's not a damsel in distress. He's not weak or incapable of speaking for himself or saving himself. He doesn't need Tommy to survive day to day. You don't want his canon history, fine, but it absolutely makes your opinion of him worthless.

Phew, well I feel like this is kind of a great conclusion to the posts I have been answering all night about hated plots and why some people can't seem to accept that BT isn't endgame.

It's because of this! Once again, thank you anon OP for your almost devastating eloquence. I wish I had even half of your writing talent.

Thank you once again Nonny for dropping this in my askbox.

Remember, no hate in comments or reblogs. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of the anonymous OP’s posts, you can find all of their posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

[30somethingautisticteacher]

Embracing a Different Future

Buck had always dreamed of getting married. He knew he wanted the white picket fence lifestyle, or at least some version of it. In those imagined scenarios, he always loved the idea of being a husband. But he never imagined having a husband - it was never on his radar.

Buck loved being with Tommy. It had taken a while to feel comfortable introducing Tommy as his boyfriend, but now it was one of his favorite things. The pride he felt saying "my boyfriend" still made his heart skip a beat.

So why, when Tommy started dropping hints about marriage, did the weight of the word "husband" feel so suffocating?

He wanted forever with Tommy - that wasn't even a question. But something about changing "boyfriend" to "husband" made his chest tight. Maybe it was because all his previous dreams of marriage had included a wife, or maybe it was because "husband" made it all feel so much more real, more permanent, more... visible.

He needed to talk to Maddie about it - Maddie, who never judged him. Well, at least not harshly.

"Hey Mads, are you free? Can we meet for coffee?" Buck said, his voice shaky.

"Of course, Buck. Is everything okay?" Maddie's concern was evident even through the phone.

"Fine, I just need my big sister."

"Coffee shop or my place?"

"Yours."

"Okay, you pick up the coffee and head over here," Maddie said.

Buck hung up, grateful for his sister's immediate availability and her ability to sense when something was weighing on him. The word "husband" echoed in his mind as he drove to get their coffee, his thoughts a jumbled mess.

Buck took a deep breath as he exited the Jeep. He knocked on Maddie's door once before just walking in. "Maddie?"

"Kitchen!"

Buck walked into the kitchen, handed Maddie her coffee, and flopped onto a bar stool.

"So, what's up?" Maddie asked, studying her brother's face.

"So," Buck said, taking a deep breath. "Tommy's been dropping some hints about marriage lately."

"That's great!" Maddie exclaimed before seeing the look on Buck's face. Her smile faltered. "Isn't it? I thought you wanted to get married."

"I do. I really do," Buck said, staring at his coffee cup. "It's just... having a husband. It just feels so different from everything I had ever imagined."

"Different how?" Maddie asked gently.

"I imagined having a wife, Mads. I am so happy with Tommy and he's my forever but I'm not gay. It wasn't on my radar. I didn't know I even liked guys until 18 months ago," Buck said, the words tumbling out in a rush of emotion.

"Those are valid feelings, Buck," Maddie said softly.

Buck ran his hand through his hair, frustration evident in his gesture. "And it also feels like I'm going to be coming out to people constantly. Which Tommy says is a big part of being queer, but it hasn't really been to me." He paused, trying to find the right words. "Committing to having a husband just feels like a lot. Like, right now people just see us as Buck and Tommy, and it's great. But a husband? That's... that's different."

His voice cracked as he continued, "But I want it, Mads. I want it so badly," he said, almost in tears. "I want every part of a marriage to Tommy. Why am I like this?"

Maddie wrapped him in a hug. "You're not like anything, Evan. You've got big emotions over something that is huge."

"I feel like an idiot," Buck mumbled into his sister's shoulder.

"Oh sweetie, you're not an idiot, but I think you need to talk to Tommy."

"Maddie, I can't," Buck said, tears falling freely now. "He'll think I'm rejecting him. That I don't want the future with him, and I do. It's all I want," his voice broke on the last words.

"Don't you think Tommy will understand?" Maddie asked gently.

"I'm scared, Maddie." Buck's voice was barely above a whisper. "Why am I scared? Am I... am I homophobic?" The last word came out choked, full of self-doubt and fear.

"You've been dating a man for over a year," Maddie said flatly, giving her brother her best 'are you serious' look.

"So why am I doing this?" Buck asked, his voice small and confused, searching his sister's face for answers.

"Buck, you basically speed-ran your bi awakening. You went from realizing you liked guys to being in a serious relationship in what felt like minutes. There are bound to be things you never considered, feelings you never processed."

She paused, studying his face carefully. "Do you think you're mourning the idea of having a wife?"

"No!" Buck said immediately. "Definitely not mourning, just... adjusting to how different my future looks from what I imagined. I want this future more than I ever wanted that one, but it's still an adjustment."

"That makes perfect sense, Evan," Maddie said softly. "And Tommy will understand that too."

Buck sat silently for a moment, Maddie's comforting arm around his shoulder as he processed his emotions.

"You're right, Maddie. He deserves to know what I'm feeling, even if I'm not sure I fully understand it myself."

Maddie gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. "I think that's a really brave decision, Buck. Tommy loves you , and I know he'll want to support you through this."

Buck took a steadying breath as he stood up from the barstool. "Alright, I'm going to head home. I need to talk to Tommy about this before I lose my nerve."

Maddie gave him an encouraging smile. "I really think being honest with him is the best thing you can do. He'll want to understand what you're going through."

"Wish me luck?"

"Good luck," Maddie said, pulling him into a tight hug. "Remember, I'm here for you, no matter what."

Buck nodded gratefully and made his way to the front door. As he drove back to their house, a mix of worry and confidence swirled within him. He knew this conversation with Tommy wouldn't be easy, but deep down, he felt certain that everything was going to be okay.

Or read on Ao3

[ranbling]

I really like your reply to the anon about the fandom babying Buck. And especially your take on the lawsuit. I always feel like I'm in the minority when I validate his feelings and actions - rash but not wrong. Also your take on the grocery store fiasco is very interesting.

I think we all need someone to stand up for us from time to time. But I also think what Buck needs is someone to call him out when he is being too self-deprecating. And Eddie is always able to spot it and call it out or course-correct. That punching back talk in 4x04. Buck telling the firefam about Daniel. At the balcony after Chim punched him. In 7x01 with the You didn't end up as you. 6x12 in Eddie's kitchen (that scene is a treasure and a gem and a gift.) Even the cemetery talk.

So more than having someone who saves him from other people he needs someone who sees when he needs saving from himself. And he has that someone (beside Maddie) and it's Eddie.

Thank you!!!

I don't think Buck was in the wrong with the lawsuit. Do I wish he went to his union rep instead? Absolutely. Do I understand why he did not? Yep. He probably felt betrayed by the whole LAFD, not just Bobby and thought they wouldn't help him.

He wouldn't have been offered such a big settlement without having a case that would possibly win in the court. And I know the lawyer is being considered slimy and the worst of the worst in the fandom, but he was right to bring up all the things he did. He had to establish a pattern of Bobby only blocking Buck from coming back to work (which worked pretty well considering the settlement)

Also yes, Buck needs someone to call him out and Eddie is the best to do that.

[poughkeepsies]

Okay actually after thinking about it for a couple days I have what might be called a hot take. I think what 615 did and the response to it is actually very similar to 510. I wasn't a part of the fandom when 510 aired but just from reading the fics that were written during that time in the post-5A hiatus I can tell that a lot of people were putting a very strong and misguided emphasis on Buck's reaction to Eddie leaving the 118. At least from what I read, it seemed like everyone expected Buck to be hurt and feel abandoned by Eddie's choice and, frankly, have a reaction that I would've hated, which is to make that decision that Eddie made as a clear trauma response about himself. Sure, I'm absolutely sure that Buck felt hurt by the fact that Eddie didn't talk to him about it and continued to push him away after the fact, and Oliver certainly played Buck as feeling wrong-footed by how Eddie was acting, but his main concern was never, ever about himself - it was about the fact that he could see that Eddie was struggling but couldn't figure out why or how to help until Eddie's breakdown.

That's exactly what's happening in the graveyard scene. Yes, Eddie is absolutely hurt by the fact that Buck, his best friend, his person, is talking as if a stranger he just met sees him better than Eddie does. But his main takeaway from that conversation isn't to hang his head and walk away with a sack tied to a stick like goddamn cartoon. It's because he knows Buck that he can tell whatever feelings he thinks he has for Natalia are completely misguided and stem from a far more serious issue, which is that Buck is more affected by his death than he previously realized. That realization and upset expression that you see on Eddie's face mostly and most likely isn't heartbreak for himself - it's almost exactly a parallel to the kitchen scene in 511, when Eddie tells Buck to move on and Buck looks devastated but also mystified. In both 615 and 511 it's Eddie and Buck going "Oh. Something is wrong. This is worse than I thought."

So what I'm trying to say is that while all the speculation about Eddie majorly pining and being heartbroken and this scene compounding his loneliness (which, Eddie's loneliness is a whole other thing that does exist on it's own I absolutely agree with that, I'm just saying this scene wasn't that big of a factor in it) is valid and probably at least partly based in truth, I don't think that's the direction the writers will take the story. Specifically this sentiment I've been seeing all over my dash about how Buck doesn't know he's hurting Eddie and when he finds out he's going to be so devastated and apologize and I just?no? That's simply not realistic or fair to me. Buck's trauma response to his death is the culmination of a lifetime of trauma and just like Buck supported Eddie through his breakdown, Eddie will continue to be Buck's pillar through his once he stops running from it and no apologies will be owed because they love and understand each other enough to know that any hurt caused is not intentional.

[thatmexisaurusrex]

your bt fics inspire me so much 💕 i especially love the way you write tommy! i love reading fics from his perspective which are hard to find. sorry to send this anon but i’m shy lmao!

Oh gosh, don't be sorry! Anon is on for the shy folk out there, I'm glad it gives you the space to write in 🥰 I'm so happy you like my BuckTommy fics! Thank you so much for saying this 🥺 Tommy is a character I truly love writing. Some characters just hit you and he did. He's a man who wasn't good in the past. He was terrible partially because of the environment that he was in, partially because of the way he was raised, and most definitely because of his own poor choices.

But he chooses to be better. To be someone he can finally be proud of. To free himself of the restraints placed on him by his father figures, by society, and by himself. He becomes something that makes him happy. Becomes somebody who does better for the people around him. Who can have people's backs even if he hadn't in the past.

And I don't know if he's really there yet. I don't know if he's happy with himself. There's a loneliness to him that sticks so well, that tells me at least that he had never fully given in to being happy. Never knew how to or ever had the expectation that someone would want to make him happy or even the expectation that he could be happy.

But I like letting him live in my stories as he tries to figure that out. I like delving into why he gives those hints. I like helping him grapple with what has to be depression and heavy but necessary introspection on his part.

And while he shouldn't be the main highlight of next season, I do hope he gets moments to show the growth he has had. To show once again that he does have Hen, Chim, Eddie, Bobby, and Buck's back. I hope he finds that family in the people he wasn't sure he could have as family before.

I understand why someone may not like his character. There are reasons not to like him. He was a coward in the past. He did allow patriarchy and white supremacy to prop him up and allowed his fear of how he would be treated to overshadow doing the right thing back then. Even if 9-1-1 has shown that Hen and Chimney have forgiven him and trust him through hanging out with him after work at a bar, the 118 giving him a fun send off when he leaves, and Chimney on several occasions asking for Tommy's help and getting it, I understand that his past can put some people off. And there's a valid critique that more on-screen growth would be helpful in showing just how far Tommy is from the person he once was in the flashbacks.

But I have faith that 9-1-1 will show more of that. And it's clear from the narrative that that's what we're supposed to see in him - a person who's grown from the man who helped perpetuate a toxic work environment.

I feel like I might have veered away from the original ask here a bit, but I don't know. It's like - you take the good and the bad in a character. You take his past and his loneliness and his insecurities, but you also take his deadpan dry gallows humor and his patience and his understanding of how to be that better person he wished he always was.

And you let that blossom in your writing. And the character is all the better for it. I think so, at least. Thank you for loving my fics. Thank you for loving how I write Tommy. It means so much to me that my writing inspires you. You've truly made my day 🥰

[canichangemyblogname]

Not sure how I feel about the deleted scene drop. I understand 100% why they originally cut it— it’s kinda a useless scene (they would cover or already had covered the same narrative bases in other scenes) that would have thrown the pacing of the episode in a very short season already not renowned for it’s fantastic pacing (y’know… because it’s so short). Plus, imho, the dialogue (writing) comes across as… out of place (if that’s the right word). It’s a bit of an awkward scene. But maybe that’s because I think “shovel talk” (as other fans have called it) over a 34 y/o man is a bit cheugy and I’m also not enjoying the “mother of the 118” role that ABC seems to want to box Hen into (I’m also begging y’all fans to stop calling black women and queer people “sassy”).

I also couldn’t figure out if Tommy was playing dumb or actually that dense, so, at first, the scene seemed— at least to me— like a 180 for a character that has otherwise been portrayed as competent and perceptive. (EDIT: I’ve been leaning toward “he was playing dumb” over “he’s really that dense.” Also, Tommy *does not* strike me as the type to “play dumb” to avoid a question, especially from someone he has a good rapport with, as some fans are suggesting; he strikes me as the type to approach a goofy situation with an old friend with some dry humor. Doesn’t mean my first reaction wasn’t, “🙄 Don’t play dumb, now.”) However, his dialogue did provide some comedy and levity 🤷‍♂️, and I do agree with analyses that paint the whole interaction as a back ‘n forth teasing.

I just personally find the whole “What are your intentions” thing kinda passé and cliche.

So, I’m a bit torn because the scene did also give us:

a second confirmation that Tommy is not pressuring Buck into anything Buck doesn’t want, like a certain subset of fans insist.

confirmation that they’re “taking things slow,” something we know Buck does enjoy. Buck wants his romantic partners to show that they’re also serious about him. He has gone out of his way with previous partners to slow things down or choose people who seem serious about dating. He didn’t have to ask Tommy to slow down like he did Abby or Taylor.

“He’s in ketosis” << literally laughed my ass off, but justice for my man, Buck; he loves carbs. (Joking aside— this is totally in character for Evan “fitness nut” Buckley, who casually talks to men with tape worms in their ass about the best low carb pasta options.)

another confirmation that they’re fucking, and fucking nasty. “I’m letting him set the pace, and I’m just trying to keep up,” is a fantastic precursor to the “God I hope so.” Tommy Kinard— your jokes about keeping up with a younger man are truly unmatched. (EDIT: Yes, I know the line wasn’t inherently about sex, you dorks, and that it can also be a reference to how Buck has seemingly sped run the “pre-dating” phase of his and Tommy’s relationship.)

more confirmation that Buck is into Tommy, and that he shows Tommy this, too.

Edit: I’m also torn about having a less than enthusiastic reaction to the scene because at this point, Tommy is like the Star Wars sequels. There are valid critiques of his characterization, his past, and how he’s been written, but because there is a large chunk of the fandom that cannot argue in good faith and has the most ass-backwards things to say about queer men, I spend more time defending the character from terrible takes than engaging with the source material the way I’d like to. I’d really like to just say what I think without having to fight through bad faith arguments.

[aeraspais]

I really like how the birthday flop scene helped to validate Eddie’s feelings about not leaving Chris to his grandparents in his will. Because as much as that was a love letter to Buck, it’s also based on real anxieties he had about how his parents don’t trust him with Chris. I hope he’s able to dredge up some of the assuredness in his choices that he felt in the will scene so he can confront his parents with it. I liked how they kind of neatly summed up that dynamic in the birthday scene with Helena clearly not helping Chris to process and instead planning for him to set down roots in Texas, Eddie clearly feeling so much like a bad parent that he doesn’t challenge her (and he's still totally repressing!), and Buck being right by his side to support him through it without making it ABOUT Buck (though not every viewer got that memo 🙄). The writing and directing in that scene was so fucking good, sorry to Tommy and his mismatched party hat

Also I've been thinking about just how much Eddie trusts Buck with Chris and how that comes back to how Buck has actually tried to help Chris with his feelings of abandonment in the past (because he can relate!). Chris was so young at the time that he could only process it as "it's okay if my dad's girlfriend is not a permanent fixture in my life". Eddie was great in that situation, not letting Chris dictate his love life just because he had a tantrum. Because everything's more heightened in season 7 because of the Shannon of it all, no one wants to put their foot down with Chris. Buck was right to tell Chris that he was being a little asshole for cheating on girls but he totally backed down when he realised it was because he felt abandoned by Shannon (he's not his dad, and he never knew Shannon, so of course he felt unequipped to deal with it!). It was Eddie's role as his father to help him process that but because he feels so guilty about Shannon and has idealised her and he doesn't want Chris to feel unloved, he instead tried to make Chris think he wasn't abandoned by dredging Shannon up from beyond the grave with the letter - which obviously didn't help because "I feel bad about abandoning you" does not take away the actual abadonment. Which is sweet and comes from a place of love, but did not actually address the problem which is that Chris now thinks it's okay to put his emotions above others'.

Chris was little when the Ana stuff happened, he's old enough now to understand that his dad was hurting too (which Buck tries to get him to understand in 710 which obviously didn't work because Chris is a Diaz and took the repression and avoidance route which his grandparents encouraged). I also like how that touches on how the REAL issue with Eddie's relationships is not that he's dating at all, it's that his motivations for doing it are misguided - he is looking for Shannon's ghost (literally lol) instead of what he actually WANTS and NEEDS (Evan Buckley). Which is why I can't wait (I hope!) for Eddie to put his foot down and say "I am your father and you can't keep punishing me forever, we have to deal with this together". Eddie is a GOOD dad who makes mistakes and I can't wait to see him work out how to fix them (sorry this is so long!!)

How did I get so incredibly lucky with my anons? I don’t think I have anything else further to add. This is perfect, thank you for sharing.

[tvfangirladdict]

I finally watched the first 3 episodes of season 8, and it was so much better than I thought it'd be with all the bee promos. And I was so excited to get on here and share in the excitement. But I kept coming across so much arguing that it ruined my good mood.

I don't keep up with any of the promotional stuff the cast does, so I'm just finding out about the new magazines and interviews and stuff that some people seem to think points to Eddie coming out soon. And the reaction from a lot of people? Not loving it.

I realize there's Die-hards on either side, BT or Buddie, and that they can take things too far. They're so focused on their chosen ship, and so dedicated to validating it and themselves, that they can become mean and unreasonable. They're stubborn, you won't change their minds, and they will do anything to defend their ship even if it means misinterpreting reality and twisting it to support their needs.

But that some of them have somehow tuned into the same bigoted people we were fighting before BT, even using their same lines to deny any chance of Eddie being queer just makes me so angry.

It continues to boggle my mind how people conveniently forget that just because someone uses one label in one part of life to identify themselves, that they can't change that label in the future. Just because someone labels themselves as straight, doesn't mean they can't still come out later with a different sexuality. Like, we see it all the time?????? For years we said that Buck and Eddie were portrayed with queer hints, and they said we were crazy, just seeing what we wanted to see. 'Why do you have to make everything gay?' they'd say.

And then Buck kissed a guy. A guy who everyone believed to also be straight up until that point.

And then those people blamed us. Said we forced the producers and writers' hands into 'making Buck gay'.....Oooor maybe we just saw the truth and forced them to admit it.

Still, they want to argue, he was never gay, he'd only dated women, Oliver described his character as heterosexual, etc etc..... And? I'm fairly certain adults have been coming out of the closet later in life for like, ever?

Are we conveniently forgetting Michael? You know, Athena's first husband? The man she had two children with? The one that came out as gay and left her for a man?

But because it happened in season 7 instead of season 1, with Buck instead of Michael, people are claiming it's wrong and impossible and unrealistic?????

Like, the closet is the closet for a reason, no one is supposed to know????

I expected this from the biphobic and homophobic crowd right away. I'm from the suburbs of Ohio with rural parents who hate having gay shit "shoved down their throats" and being "forced to accept people just cause they're gay". You know, the 'it's not wrong, I just don't want to have to see it' crowd. I saw those kind of reactions coming from a mile away.

But never in a million years did I think I'd see people who ship two men together, fight so hard to deny a different characters queerness??? Where did all of this hate for Eddie come from? Like, before BT, we were all on the same side. At least I thought so? Which in my mind meant we were accepting of gay and bi men finding happiness and love?

But then the idea that Eddie might have a gay revelation too, and therefore become a threat to your new ship, meant you're willing to oppress a character that's now been here for like 7 years? That you were rooting for at one point?

Don't get me wrong, I was literally screaming and crying for joy during BTs first kiss. That was groundbreaking and so important, beyond just 911.

Don't I think they'll last? No. Do I still believe Buddie is endgame? Yes. But that doesn't mean I don't understand how important this relationship is to the world and television and Buck's character.

So I never had any hate for BT shippers. It was new and exciting and you want to hold onto it, I get it. But you can't just turn around and become the same people that called you crazy for seeing the signs in Buck, now that we're seeing more of it in Eddie.

'Eddie's only dated women, Ryan said Eddie's straight.' So what? We've literally watched two, male, main characters come out later in life, why can't Eddie?

Maybe he will, maybe he won't. These aren't real people, they're characters under the thumb of producers and broadcast networks and people so far up the food chain they probably don't even watch the show, so at the end of the day, they'll make Eddie who they want to benefit themselves, not to stay true to Eddie's character. But why attack us for hoping Eddie gets the same chance as Buck?

You don't ship Buddie, fine. You want BT to be endgame, and Eddie could mess that up for yall and you're afraid, I get it. Just say that. But don't come and try and gaslight us into thinking we're all just seeing shit again with Eddie the way they said we were with Buck.

This isn't for the multishippers, or the BT shippers who are more open minded. I understand there's some Buddie shippers who are pulling the same shit on the opposite end of the shipping pool and that's not okay either.

Basically, I just hate seeing all this hate for Eddie. People have always been more aligned with Buck than Eddie, even before BT. And that's always sucked because I think I identify more with Eddie. But since BT, it's gotten worse. Now that there's another option for Buck in a gay relationship, it's like some people can finally admit they only ever liked Eddie for the chance at BiBuck and I hate that. Eddie coming out would be so important for so many queer people. From the Latino community, to those with Catholic or other deep religious roots, to single dads and more.

We're not crazy for wanting to see Eddie come out, okay?

[lover-of-mine]

I concede your right on the closet part. I think I get more annoyed at the ditching scene I sort of give Buck a pass when you are correct. Like Eddie knows, he can be an idiot. But we love him. Of course not blurting things out isn't his strongest trait. Like "do you always sleep in the nude". If he was going to keep the secret from Eddie he should have had a back up plan in his head.

I think that's a lot of that scene tbh. Buck is the character we know and love and given Buck's past with the way that man has been left a lot, we tend to get protective of him especially when it happens with a character we don't know very well in a situation Buck has been put on repeatedly. We will be harsher on other characters and end up giving Buck a pass on stuff maybe we wouldn't if we thought about it more. It's like the first anon (I'm not sure if it was also you) who compared staying annoyed at someone because they left their best friend stranded. It doesn't matter much what Buck did to be left stranded, we know how Buck can be and we love that about him, so we don't fully understand why we should forgive someone who doesn't. Buck did try to stay as far away as possible from someone they might know and that was the extent of his plans for hiding, but he obviously didn't anticipate running into Eddie of all people, so he panicked. All things considered, with the way Tommy at that point had already been presented as someone who was in environments that forced him to hide his identity for most of his adult life, aka the army and the lafd under Gerrard, Tommy is already agreeing to a level of secrecy with the way Buck decided on the most hidden restaurant he could think of, but there is a difference in understanding Buck wanting time to figure himself out, and being put in a situation where Buck himself becomes something forcing him to hide. Tommy is extremely valid in being upset. Again, everyone involved should've communicated better, Tommy only saying he's leaving when he's in the car was a bad way to handle it, but he was justified in just wanting the date to end.

[jeffchats]

The Karate event in Dubai is on April 20th. Obviously the organisers will be paying for Mike and Jeffs flights and hotels, Jeffs paying for Verica to come from Australia, she won’t pay for her own ticket. To me it makes sense as to why she’s going to Dubai, I mean Jeffs flying 15 hours half way around the world anyway so they can meet in the middle. If he flew all that way and didn’t see her it would be strange.

Also does anyone else think this is all to quick, they literally met for the first time less than 3 weeks ago on 23rd March. After the Tana pod he had his reservations about her but now he’s changed his tune? What 34 year old spends less than 2 weeks dating a girl a decade younger him & then decides to be official after barely knowing each other? There’s more to a relationship than just finding each other physically attractive.

Deep down I think regardless of how Jeff feels about her, he’s in a position where he can’t pump the brakes and take things slower or tell her we need to be friends first as this is so public. He’s in a catch 22 situation where if he did cool things off people would think he’s a jerk and would get hell from h3 audience & upset Verica . And if he continues this situationship he feels pressure to show its going well and to keep Verica happy as it’s obvious she has way stronger feelings for Jeff. Jeffs got himself in a really fucked up position where he can’t be transparent and honest about his feelings. Dammed if he does, dammed if he doesn’t… but its his mess & his decision making from the start, so idk, Jeffs made his bed now he has to lie in it right?

Jeff is a fucking moron to think he needs to please H3, their fans, or his fans at the expense of someone else or himself. It's a fucking fan dating show, people expect it not to work out. He made his bed but he definitely will not sleep in it.

Instead of being honest, he's going to further dig himself into a hole that will make him look like more of an asshole. If he was honest from the start and actually discussed his reservations and why he's so hesitant, people would understand. Instead he wants to talk about it to some 20 year old influencer who is known for clout farming (Tana)? People wouldn't be surprised if it didn't work out with a FAN. His need to kiss ass and be validated by people who probably do not care for him as much as he thinks they do will contribute to his downfall. Let's face it, his career has not been great. He can be transparent and honest but he doesn't have the balls to so what does he do? Clout chase for a quick buck at the expense of his reputation and career.

He is fun using Verica for clicks and literally telling Tana he was unsure AND allowed it to be posted in the video after the week he spent with her? Now he's pulling the mental health card? Cry me a fucking river. He could have avoided all of those comments had he cut it out of the video if his feelings changed but no he chose to leave it in there and get people to talk. He's banning people on Reddit but why isn't he deleting that post discussing his feelings? HE KNOWS IT'LL RESULT IN CLICKS. Views = money. How do you think he's going to fund Verica's economy ticket to Dubai? Using his audience. The mental health card annoys me because Jeff has all the resources or much more resources than the average person to seek help and get it. Does he do it? No, he chooses to abuse sleeping pills and get rid of therapist because he doesn't like his hairstyle. He sounds like an idiot. People struggle to even get health insurance and I don't feel bad for someone who has resources and chooses not to access them yet complain on the internet that his mental health is bad.

[fromkenari]

Me, before this episode: Maybe, I'll get back into 911 fan fiction and write something for Tevan during the fall hiatus. (This would be the first fic I wrote for the show since my Buddie fics in Season 2.)

Me, now: Anyway, so THAT happened, and Eddie said he's "straight" to a fucking PRIEST (What the hell, Edmundo, honestly?), so I guess I'm back to poking around at Henren and Tarlos because I don't want to deal with broken Buck AGAIN.

I'm still pissed about whateverthefuck that Amir plot was supposed to be last season, AND this season blaming two teenage girls (one of whom was not white) for a white man's rage and erratic behavior that nearly killed a black child. And now you're telling the bisexual character that he has to play the field to understand his bisexuality when you have been systematically breaking him season after season with toxic relationships with women. Then you have his first boyfriend break up with him right after you have the gay side character, the one that you consistently pony out to just to be the wise gay voice of reason or the gay friend or the guy who says some one-liner that can spat back at him later or the guy who gets a hate crime committed against him because he's an older gay and that makes him an easy target but it's a ploy for something else and never ever give him a storyline where he isn't a means to an end for another character because his only purpose is gay rep back patting, say to him be honest with your partner and forgive his past. You'll be alright. Only to have the boyfriend throw away the entire relationship because after six months, the bisexual wants to take a step toward sincerity, and that's not valid in this show because no bisexual person has ever only had one partner as a bisexual? Really? Fuck you.

Two weeks ago, you had me thinking you were NOT going to hose my favorite character for once. I put the tiniest bit of trust on the table after holding my breath since the kiss because I did NOT trust you until I relaxed during the Halloween episode, only to get my hands slapped away in the next fucking episode?

And now you're going to have Eddie not only not get involved but also FINALLY work on himself as a solo project, which he has needed to do for SEASONS, but you do it at a time when Buck is crushed. You say Buck will not have a relationship for a while (not sure how to take that yet), so what does this mean? Is he going to regress to "sex addict" because he's bisexual? Eddie's not going to intervene, and what, you're going to make Josh the Wise Learned Gay with his young grasshopper baby bi?

Or even better, are you never going to put Buck with someone who is not a woman again because this is a cis-love-interests-only show. You got him with a man so you can claim your bi-rep merit badge because that relationship lasted all of 13 episodes without ever getting anything intimate between them. After all, we never let anything queer get intimate on the show, not even the lesbians who have been here since the first episode. And barely anything with the two long-term interracial relationships. But the two hot guys and their woman-of-the-season can strip down and get wild. Athena has shown off her bra, but you know that was a non-serious relationship, too. I guess serious relationships don't flash tits and ass on your show. So why is that? And why are Buck and Eddie not worthy of something serious and meaningful? Because you think you'll lose GA viewers? Because they're the Himbo and the Pretty Boy, right? We just want to make them cry. Because they're too attractive to have storylines that don't fucking devastate them.

Where is the Ben Affleck smoking break image? FUCK.

[jpt3391]

The Magnificent Seven

From the start of the movie, The Magnificent Seven departs from its source material already by giving the farmers more personality in the beginning rather than the middle of the movie, which takes away from the pacing as well as our understanding of the characters. Just from that, the differences are foreshadowed. 

For example, the “lead” farmer talks back to the bandit and the another farmer tries to attack them directly because of the frustration that the bandit is causing the family. Rather than giving the bandits anonymity and lack of character for the audience to easily recognize conflict, in The Magnificent Seven the bandit leader is introduced and given many lines throughout the movie instead. While I didn’t have any major problems with him as a character, I thought that Kurosawa’s stylistic choice (or maybe the screenwriter) of giving the bandits less (basically no lines) time to speak, was a good choice. Another difference from the start was the farmers had money to give to the cowboys which, taken from that, motivates one of the “samurai” (Harry) by money, even though he dies. Even when Harry is dying, Chris chooses to not tell him that there was no money in the contract that they have taken up, it is supposed to be out of their goodwill (and also $20 bucks and some gold), which is another thing that I think takes away from the adaptation. Sturges could have easily gone a different direction in the movie when trying to find a reason that the cowboys help the farmers. In fact, I quite like the intro that the movie did with the character of Chris and Vin. Both of them, out of the goodness of their heart, are escorting a hearse that contains the body of a Native American who was just shot. The concept of racism is brought up because of that, and I was looking forward to how the movie would address racism but unfortunately, it didn’t touch on the topic that much after. The interactions that the cowboys had with the farmers just showed how much of their life was different to them, how the life of white people (at the time) was different to Mexicans as well. 

When Chris was recruiting people to help him, at first I was confused what character Chico was trying to replicate in Seven Samurai. From his mannerisms, I knew it was Kikuchiyo, but at times I felt like he also represented Katsushiro as well, with how much he wanted to be taught by Chris. In addition to that, when Chris was recruiting the others, I felt that Chris already knew a majority of the cowboys which eliminated the altruistic attitudes that the samurai showed in Seven Samurai. On a side note, when Chico was drunk and yelling at Chris in the saloon along with the other people, that reminded me of the scene in Rashomon when the wife was looking at the husband because of the similarities in wanting to be acknowledged and noticed.

Some of the scenes that I liked though were of: Chico and the jumpcut from the deer to him, which I interpreted as a representation of his innocence. 

When Chico was playing with the horse, I was reminded of Kikuchiyo which was very nice.

The absence of a Rikichi character took away from what made me like Seven Samurai so much. Rikichi and the suffering that he went through impacted me a lot when I was watching it, but because he wasn’t there (or at least a similar character) I felt that I couldn’t relate to the farmers as much. Another thing that I noticed was that the old man felt more like comedic relief to me, rather than a stubborn old man. That is supported by the fact that he lives at the end, but to give Sturges a point, there wasn’t really any to destroy the houses because the environment and warfare was different. When they started partying right after they only killed a few, that made me question the validity of the veteran cowboys. I was like, why are they celebrating so soon? And then finally, the return of Chico as a farmer instead of either dying or going with the cowboys to transcend classes. Overall, I felt that the movie focused more on action scenes and romance, as Hollywood movies often do to make it an easy watch, rather than giving you something to think about.