#also i think the only relationship that could ever work with dean is cass but thatd never happen with sams involvement

[c1trvswurld]

Sometimes I get really mad at dean for lying to Sam all the time but then I realize that it's a bit unfair to ask of him when you remember that's been his job for so long that suddenly begging him to stop is just not gonna work.

Keep in mind i just started season 9 but ever since dude was younger he's been forced to play the role of mother, father, and brother and to switch/mix them up when needed to comfort sam— and that includes the little white lies to protect him— it's just because of the nature of their lives those white lies are 10x more heavier than most people have to deal with in their entire life. So when Sam asks dean to just be honest for once in his life dean.exe simply can't compute. And it's even more funny when Dean is honest with other and not only himself Sam gets uncomfortable or shuts it down.

Because while yeah, he ask his brother to be honest, he could never handle an honest dean. He could never handle seeing his brother not be his 'brother' or at least the idea of him. Both Sam and dean rely on the persona that dean puts up in different ways in order to keep their status quo. And it's not even like dean wants to be that way. He crumbles like a stale cookie when anyone other than Sam leaves the floor open to be vulnerable, just as long as Sam is not around.

I think Sam would simply implode upon realizing that dean was also just a scared little kid forced to lie to even get this far, a scared little kid who grew up to be a scared man with a really good poker face who wants so desperately to be taken care of. (It's the reason I think Dean gets so pissy about Sam not looking for him in purgatory as well because that's the only time dean has been away from Sam besides college. And also the only time he was fine being open and taken care of by someone else because he didn't feel the need to protect them like he does with sammy. Same reason why Sam is so pissed at deans trust in Benny because Sam.exe has never seen this in deans coding before. Therefore, he gets mad and stressed when Dean doesn't just go back in his big brother box.)

And I also think it's the reason dean could never find a romantic partner—at least not when Sam's around. And is also the reason I don't really ship dean with anyone because it'd never work.

Even if it wasn't a civilian and someone on his level (something supernatural like Benny or cass or just another hunter who "gets it") I bet Sam would be like "yeah it's a bit weird but in happy for you man" and that'd be enough for dean to not yearn for another because Sam's opinion of him and his life matters more than living it.

[queen-of-deans-booty]

A Big Misunderstanding

Pairing: Lucifer x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~1.9k

Warnings: relationship angst, giving the silent treatment, fluff at the end

Request by anon: I wanted to ask for spn lucifer x reader…they are married she would have been a hunter in the past, but she left the business with him, "giving up" on being the devil, and they actually like live normal life…once she gives him the silent treatment because he was "mean" to sam and dean (they are like brothers), and he just He does little things to kind of get her off her chest so she can talk to him (even if it's shouting), and when she tries to do or fix the little things he did/ or broken but without talking to him yet he just goes to the guys (the brothers, cass and jack) for help and apologizes just to make it up to her!!! (the boys make fun of him but he accepts defeat because not talking to her is worse than having people irritate him

Summary: Your passion is sewing and you love to make clothes and blankets for people, especially the Winchesters whom you consider to be family. When you overhear a conversation you shouldn't have heard, you get pissed enough at Lucifer to give him the silent treatment. Best thing? He has no idea what he's done but he'll try hard to make it right.

Square Filled: never go to bed on an argument for @as-the-saying-goes-bingo (deleted bingo)

Author’s Note: any and all comments are appreciated <3

x

Three down only ten more to go. You have a lot of people who want to buy dresses from you so you’re slowly making your way through the list of orders from people. You’re only on the first order but you’ve gotten done three of the thirteen items they wanted. Sewing and making clothes and blankets is your dream. You love making things people can wear or snuggle with, and you’ve always had this passion ever since you could write.

You’d draw your designs and show your mom who was also a seamstress for a clothing store. She entertained your ideas and gave you a small sewing kit that you’d use to make your Barbie’s clothes. She was so impressed that she got you into sewing classes as soon as possible. You started off making small things like gloves, oven mitts, baby clothes, and other easy projects before working your way up to the harder items.

Now, you have your own business that is run by you and only you, and you work out of your home. You don’t have the money to buy a big store or hire employees. Plus, you kind of like doing it all by yourself. At least you can look at someone wearing your clothes and say, “Yes, I made that all on my own.” or “They’re wearing an original Y/N.”. You pour love and pride into every piece you make and it shows.

The door opens and your husband walks in with a look of confusion.

“Have you been here all day?”

You look at him like you were just caught with your hand in the cookie jar.

“I have orders to make.”

“Being in your room all day isn’t going to help you. You need to get out and move around.” You know he’s right, and your ass is hurting from sitting all day. You nod in agreement and get up, setting your project aside for now. “Come on, let’s go on a walk.”

Never did you think you’d ever go on a brisk walk with the actual devil. The neighborhood you live in is very mellow so you go a few laps around it.

“Want to hear what I’m working on?”

“Sure.”

“So, Janice across the street asked for baby clothes for her daughter’s kid, Bruce and David want some slacks for David’s new job next month, and Ruby from the diner wants a blanket. Ooh! What if I make us another blanket?”

“Darling, we have eighty blankets in the house already.”

“And?”

“We have enough,” Lucifer laughs and kisses the top of your head.

Who is he and what has he done with your husband? He is so not the man you met years ago. He was so much harder and meaner than he is now. After Sam killed Lilith and brought the devil out of the cage, he was one of the meanest men you’ve ever met. His behavior and attitude were atrocious.

It didn’t get any better even after Sam let him in so he could trap him in the cage with Adam and Michael. The cage stayed closed for five years until Amara was released because Dean got his Mark removed from his arm by the Book of the Damned. Lucifer convinced Castiel that he could possess him so that he could leave the cage, and he wreaked havoc on the world because of it. After Amara expelled him from Castiel’s body, he disappeared for a while. He decided that he was going to be done with all this shit.

That’s when you came back into his life. He met you again after he had come to terms with living a simple life. Sam and Dean had pissed you off enough that you wanted to be solo for a while, and you and Lucifer formed a relationship. The Winchesters weren't thrilled to hear you had a thing for the devil, but they trusted you enough to know what you were doing.

You had scammed your way into a very nice resort where he was staying and hit it off. Eventually, you got married to him. You’re not a hunter anymore, he’s not the devil anymore, it’s just you and him until death parts you. Lucifer’s changed behavior is all because of you. Before you, he was angry at the world for what his dad did to him but after you, he wanted to live for you and for you only.

Only after you’ve finished with all of your commissions, you start working on some stuff for the Winchesters. Winter is coming up, and the Bunker has a terrible heating system. You figured they could use a few extra jackets, shirts, and blankets.

They gave you a key to the Bunker should you ever need to use it, so you let yourself in carrying the clothes. Sam and Dean are talking to someone in the library so they don’t notice you coming down the metal staircase in the war room. Suddenly, Lucifer’s voice is heard, and you look at the entryway in confusion. Why is he here? What does he want from the brothers?

“I can’t trust you to do anything! You two are brainless, hairless apes who have no idea what the fuck you’re doing!”

“Maybe next time give us better instruction,” Dean argues.

“God, you had one job and you managed to fuck that up. Typical,” he scoffs.

Why is he being so mean to Sam and Dean? You’re hurt he’d say such vile and mean things to the two men you consider family. You leave the clothes on one of the control panels before leaving the Bunker quickly. You don’t let them know you were ever here. If Lucifer wants to resort to who he was before, then he can but you’re not going to stand by him.

Lucifer comes home hours later in a good mood. You’re in the kitchen cooking food for yourself when he enters. He frowns when he sees enough food for one person in the pan.

“Is that food for both of us?” he asks. You don’t answer him and continue to cook in silence. “Y/N?” Still, no answer. “Darling, are you okay?” No answer. “Are you ignoring me? What did I do?” Again, no answer. “Y/N?”

You don’t go to bed that night because you and Lucifer have a thing where you never go to bed on an argument. Instead, you make more clothes. Lucifer didn’t go to bed either mostly because he kept thinking about why you’re ignoring him. What did he do to piss you off? In the morning, he goes to the room where you make your clothes to try and talk to you but finds the door is locked.

“Y/N, open the door.” No answer. He can hear your sewing machine so he knows you’re in there. “Come on, darling, open the door.”

He is at a loss for words because he doesn’t understand what he did to make you like this. He gives you the space you need for the morning, but you need food eventually so you leave the room in search of some. Lucifer is in the kitchen when you get there but you make no move to acknowledge him.

Lucifer is drinking some water and reading a newspaper. He finishes the water before dropping the glass on the ground. The glass shatters and he watches your reaction to it. He doesn’t care if all you’re going to do is yell at him. He just wants you to do something. You pause and look at the glass on the ground before grabbing the broom. You don’t say a word as you clean it up and throw it away.

“I just broke a glass! You should be pissed at me. Yell at me! Something!” Lucifer gasps. Again, you don’t respond to him. “Fuck!” He walks over to you and points his finger in your face but doesn’t actually touch you. He knows you fucking hate this which is why he’s doing it. He’s such a fucking child. “I’m not touching you. You can’t get mad at me because I’m not touching you.”

You stand still and wait for him to be done before moving around him and heading back to your room to sew. Lucifer doesn't know what to do so he visits the Winchesters in search of answers. Castiel and Jack are in the room, too. Great, more people to witness this humiliation.

“Here to berate us some more?” Dean asks.

“I need your help,” he sighs.

“What?”

“I said I need your help.”

Before Sam can answer, Dean cuts in.

“Sorry, let me just take in this moment. You need us. Isn’t that something?”

“Don’t be an ass.”

“No, I definitely will.”

“What do you need?” Sam asks.

“Y/N isn’t talking to me. She’s ignoring me and I have no idea what I did to piss her off. What do I do? I don’t care if she yells at me. I need her to do something.”

“Sorry, can’t help you there, buddy,” Dean shrugs.

“Does she know you’re an ass?” Castiel asks seriously.

“Yeah, let’s make fun of me. Seriously, you’re so funny.” Lucifer mocks laughs in their faces, ready to punch the shit out of them. “What do I do?”

“Have you tried apologizing?” Jack asks.

“I don’t know what I should be apologizing for.”

“It doesn’t matter. All women want to hear is that you’re sorry. Try that. It might get her talking,” Dean sighs.

Lucifer goes home with more questions than answers. Still, he thinks about their words the whole way home. When he gets there, you’re in the living room watching one of your shows. As soon as you know he’s there, you tense and turn the volume up on the TV. He walks around to face you but you don’t look at him.

“Darling, I am so sorry.”

“For what?” you ask and look at him.

Lucifer opens his mouth to answer but nothing comes out. You scoff as you get up from the couch. You go to leave the room but Lucifer is hot on your heels.

“I am sorry, but you can’t expect me to read your mind to figure out why you’re so pissed at me. You have to communicate, darling. What did I do?”

“You berated Sam and Dean and put them down for what? ‘You two are brainless, hairless apes who have no idea what the fuck you’re doing!’ Does that ring a bell? You treat them like shit.”

“I’ve said worse things to them.” You cross your arms angrily. “Look, I am sorry. I have a really bad temper, and I was trying to surprise you with something. I needed their help getting it but they did it wrong. It pissed me off because I wanted it to be perfect for you.”

“What is it?”

Lucifer takes you to one of the unfinished rooms in the house. You never got around to actually finishing it, but Lucifer has been working on it without you knowing. You walk in and gasp at what you see. Machines are lined up on the back wall, rolls and rolls of fabric hang off tubes, mannequins are in the other corner, and everything else you need to have a successful sewing business.

“I wanted it to be perfect and I took it out on them. I’m sorry you had to hear that.”

You rush into the room and admire everything he’s done for you. He’s trying to apologize but you’re too busy being excited.

“Is this all for me?!”

“Yeah, everything,” he smiles. “Do you like it?”

“Like it? I love it!!”

“Am I forgiven?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Not talking to you was killing me.”

Lucifer pulls you into him and kisses you, glad to have overcome this with you.

x

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[bugsy-maria]

Destial (Cass x Reader)

Ok, I know that the title is misleading but this is about one-sided love.

(Y/N)'s POV

"What if he doesn't like me back?" Cass said pacing back and forth at the foot of my bed.

"There is no need to worry, Cass," I said getting up from my bed and over to him. I grabbed his hands, making him stop. "He loves you so much I know he does, anyone would be lucky to have you. you are so amazing and perfect every day," I said looking into the electric blue eyes that I loved so much.

"But what if-"

"There is no what if, if he says no then he's the one missing out. but the probability of him saying no is nonexistent. ok?" I still held his hands.

"Ok," he said back.

"You ready?" I looked at him more intently.

"I think so."

"Well, you better because it's now or never," I said smiling and walking to the door. the angel following. we both made our way to the library. we saw only Dean in there doing something on his computer. sam would have been there too but he had a date tonight that would go into the wee hours of the night. I felt a hand on my shoulder, I turned to see Cass staring at me before saying,

"I think I should do this alone, you can wait in the kitchen."

"Of course! remember what we practiced ok?" I smiled

"Of course."

"Go get 'em, tiger!" I gave a closed-eyed smile and patted him on the back. I opened my eyes to see the love of my life walk off to someone else. he looked over his shoulder and I gave a thumbs up in response. once he turned away I walked to the kitchen.

it was about 5 minutes later when I heard a crash from the library. I jolted up and ran down the hall to see Castiel's shiny blue eyes and the shadows of his wings on the wall.

"Dean go!" I shouted, I grabbed an angel blade from a drawer as dean left the bunker.

"You said that he wouldn't say no." I heard Cass' low monotone voice.

"I know but-"

"You lied to me."

"Castiel I know I lied but I did it for good reason. I gave you hope yes but it was better for you to ask him with confidence or ask him scared. now calm down before someone gets hurt!" I shouted walking to him with the blade at my side. I wasn't going to stab him, it was for insurance.

"Well he would have said no either way!" he shouted, turning to me and throwing books in my direction. I knelt over after getting hit over and over again.

"Exactly! there's no use in crying over spilled milk Cass! there is nothing you could have done." he flung the weapons display causing knives to fly at me. I screamed in pain when a knife stabbed me in the shoulder.

I did what I didn't want to do but it was obvious that he wasn't going to calm down anytime soon. I light my lighter and threw it on the holy oil circle we made months ago when we thought Michael was going to come after us. I walked over to the wall and leaned against a bookshelf. I grab my shoulder, hoping to stop some of the blood loss.

"Cass you need to calm down," I grunted

"It's easy for you to say," he mumbled, his wings now gone but his eyes still glowing a bit.

"I know how you feel Cass, but trust me when I say that you have the easy rejection."

"You don't know anything!" he shouted, staring at me, mad and not caring that he had stabbed me.

"It's a good thing he said no. if he said yes, your whole relationship would have been one-sided, and trust me you don't want that. the first real love of my life I dated for a bit. a month before he broke up with me and left me for my friend. and during that whole month, I blamed myself for him feeling bad because I loved him so much I thought that if I was the one feeling bad then he could be happy. and when we dated again I loved him so much but I also knew that if he didn't love me anymore, he'd break up with me. I knew that the relationship was one-sided so I spent that month I had with him happy but in pain. so trust me you have the easy fix." I looked at him the whole time, tears leaving my eyes, not from the pain of the knife but the pain of the memories.

his eyes dimmed and he visibly relaxed.

"Now if you promise to be calm we can work through it. we can go see a movie, or even stay in and watch tv all day and never leaving your bed. you can cry all you want and I'll be there for you and you'll soon be out and about in no time. it'll be ok, and I'm not lying this time." I got up and walked to the ring of fire.

"That sounds nice." a sad smile spread across his face.

"Ok." I grabbed a bottle of water from the table and poured it onto the fire. I went up to him and hugged him. it hurt like hell because of the knife on my arm but I didn't care. I just wanted him to be happy again. I felt him snake his arm around me. we stood like that for some time before I felt the knife get pulled from my arm, but was soon healed.

"Sorry for hurting you," he mumbled when I let go, still holding onto his hand.

"No need, want to go into hiding now?" I looked into his blue orbs that looked at the ground. with a quiet 'yes' we were on our way. we spent weeks in his room watching all of the stupid tv shows that were on Netflix. he cried all that he could and I was there for him the whole way.

"How do you know how to comfort me in this situation if you never been through it before," he mumbled into my chest, about two daying into the third week.

"Sam did the same thing with me when I found out that the person I loved didn't love me back." I smiled while petting his hair.

"Did you ever tell them that you loved them?"

"No, but they told me that they loved someone else and wanted my help to tell them."

"I'm sorry." he sniffled

"No, it's not your fault you loved someone else." I smiled. "But that's what love makes you do, you let them go so they could be happy. cause at the end of the day, it's not being with them that makes you happy, it's seeing them being happy. wether it's with you or not."

"Thank you."

"Of course." I kissed the top of his head, resting my head on the bedboard, closing my eyes.

[real-american]

Supernatural: A dedication to its memory and how the show changed my life

Fifteen Years. 15 years and over 300 episodes of the greatest show on TV. 15 years of joy, heartache, tears, fun and inspiration; and for me, 15 years, two marriages one divorce, two tattoos and a show that brought me the love of my life. Supernatural has impacted us all on so many levels. I could easily write a 15 page academic paper on the seasons, the meanings behind each season and all the little things that made the show so great. Things such as the music, the brothers Winchester, the family dynamic, and the beautiful 1967 Chevy Impala (my dream car should I win the lottery. Black four door version of course). I could go on about each major and minor character, how they impacted the show and what each of them meant to me and the fans but this is not what this is about. This post is about how Supernatural changed my life and how it impacted me.

First a few housekeeping things to address regarding the final season and the series finale. I thought the pre finale show was excellent but definitely could have been longer and included more. However I do understand they only had 42 minutes or so to cram 15 years of memories and characters in so I understand they had to only hit the highlights. They should do a longer version for the Blue Ray 15 season collectors set which I'm sure they will make and that I am definitely getting. Regarding the final season, I thought it was excellent. My wife, who is also a big fan of the show (more on her later) didn't think it was as good as other seasons but enjoyed it none the less. The ending was good sort of expected with the two boys ending up in heaven together, but I was surprised they killed Dean in the sort of nonchalant way they did. Sort of anti climactic for the greatest hunter in the world. The final speech to Sam was heartbreaking and heartfelt and I loved it! I also loved the symmetry of how Sam's son Dean also gave him permission to leave this world as Sam gave (original) Dean all those years later. I'm glad they didn't show who Sam's wife was and she was just left as a mysterious place holder. Originally I thought maybe they should have had him with Eileen but in retrospect the way they did it was better and honestly I'm not sure if she (or the other AU folk) were even brought back with the rest of the world. Maybe someone can clear this point up for me. I was really surprised they didn't do the "carry on my wayward son" beginning but I soon figured out before it even happened they were going to do it in the end of the episode which turned out to be much better. All in all I give the last season an A- and the finale and how it ended an A+ Again there is a lot to say about the final season, the final episode, and all the seasons but I will leave that analysis to other people. This is about what the show meant to me specifically about how it helped me through my darkest days and ushered in my brightest of days which I am living now. This is that story.

I wasn't with Supernatural from the very beginning. The show premiered in 2005 and I honestly hadn't heard anything about it or did I know anything about it for a few years. I came off active duty from the Marine Corps in June of 2005 and after fighting my beloved country's wars for a few years I was out of the loop on many things. I first came across Supernatural on TNT catching a re run here and there but with no real interest and only getting bits and pieces of the story. In 2010 I met my first wife and was a casual fan at this point seeing enough re runs on TNT to get a general idea of the storyline for the first few seasons but again only as a casual fan. At this point of my life I was also falling down a dark hole. My alcoholism which is a result of my PTSD from my combat service started to get really bad. I was drinking more than most people could handle but as my father was, highly functional. This led to me staying with and eventually marrying my first wife which was a bad idea. She cheated on me constantly and probably didn't even really love me. We were also polar political opposites (you can figure out my political viewpoints from the rest of my blog) and not compatible really in the least. Why I ever stayed with her and married her is beyond me at this point in my life. So there I was drinking my life away in a bad relationship and trying to figure out how to manage my life. Then Supernatural came on Netflix and I decided to give it a real shot. This decision changed my life.

I quickly caught up on the first six seasons and started watching the show live starting with season 7. I was hooked. I loved everything about it. Dean and Sam, Cass the car, the brotherly love, the monsters, the angels, everything but I still didn't know how this show would impact me in the end. I continued to drink myself to death getting unhealthier fatter and no longer resembling the fit Marine I once was. I was in a constant haze drinking an entire bottle of whiskey every night to drink away the pain of my bad marriage and the pain of not being loved and cheated on by my wife. Supernatural was the one bright spot in my life.

In 2014 I finally divorced my wife but this was only the first step. I continued to drink and destroy my life causing me to get fired from my job. Fortunately I was hired on back into government work making much better money and with having no wife and no kids was finally able to live a little better financially but I was lonely and alone except for the alcohol. I continued to find refuge in the bottle but also in Supernatural. I watched every episode as it came on, re watched all the old episodes, blogged and facebooked about it to the point that I am sure I was annoying the one or two friends that I had. The rest of my life was a blur. Get up, stumble into work drunk or hungover, go home sick and jonesing for my next drink, bottle of whiskey till one in the morning, a few hours of sleep and starting the whole cycle back over. I was fat, ugly on the outside, ugly on the inside, and a bad human being. My drinking got so bad I destroyed my liver and was medically discharged from my job but was given retirement for all my years of service to the federal government. So now I was 33 retired with a pension and VA disability and really nothing to do but sit at home drink whiskey and watch TV. I had no love in my life, one or two close friends who didn't like being around me anymore because of my drinking, and my family was worried but couldn't get through to me. Even after my father died of alcohol abuse in 2015 I still continued down my destructive path. Finally in February of 2017 I was hospitalized and was told I would be dead in less than a year. I truly believe I was touched by God at this point because I went home dumped out three bottles of alcohol and never touched the stuff again to this day.

Now I had to learn to relive my life all over without alcohol. I started to exercise and lose weight (90 pounds in 5 months) I went back to church, and I started to try and find love again and of course needing distraction and something to occupy my mind I dove deep into Supernatural. I re watched and re watched again all the old episodes, I poured myself into analysis of the plot lines and characters, I got tattoos on my arms (the demon trap and the anti possession symbol), I obsessed with everything Supernatural. It helped me stay sober. When I wanted a drink I would watch an episode, when I was feeling lonely I would go hang out with Sam and Dean. When I wanted to give up I took refuge in the Impala. I became a super fan. So far Supernatural got me through my divorce, was my bright spot in my alcoholic haze, and helped me stay sober when I first gave up my demons. I cheered harder during the happy moments of the show and cried harder in the sad ones. I was an emotional wreck and my feelings only seemed to come out while watching the show. Although I had quit drinking, got rid of my toxic ex wife and started to improve my life, I was still not happy. I was alone and lonely but Supernatural came to my rescue once again.

Throughout 2017 and the first part of 2018 I managed to be in two relationships. I poured myself into them grasping at them as if they were my reward for turning my life around and ignoring all the signs that they were not good relationships. I was still learning to relive my life as a sober person. I never integrated back into society after I left the Corps in 2005 and finally I was doing so but it was a hard journey. Inevitably those relationships failed and I was utterly heartbroken each time, but Supernatural was always there through the good times and the bad. When my heart was broken I would go find refuge in my favorite show forgetting about my problems and trying to help Sam and Dean solve theirs. Finally in May of 2018 I decided to try and find love again. This time it would be different and this time it was Supernatural that helped me get there.

As part of my recovery and daily routine I started to eat at my local diner everyday. Everyday from about July 2017 to the present time in this story I would go in, order 2 eggs over easy, hash browns, sausage, and toast. Everyday I would sit in the same spot at the counter (counter 6 was the name of the spot) order the same thing and even had my own special coffee mug. I knew everyone who worked there by name and they all knew me by name. They knew my order and had it ready for me when I came in. It felt like a magical place, a place that would forever change my life. There was one waitress/cook that I didn't see very often. She mostly worked the night shift but occasionally I would see her if I was there later in the day than usual or if she occasionally worked a morning shift. I was drawn to this woman. About the middle of May in 2018 I decided to maybe try and work up the courage to ask her out. I would always look for her when I went in hoping she was working that day hoping she wasn't too busy so that I could exchange a few words with her and hoping she would even notice me. Then one day in July I went in and she was there. I said hello and ate my breakfast but we didn't talk much. When I was paying for my meal the other gal working there asked  what my plans were for the day and I said oh nothing much just gonna go home and watch Supernatural. Then she turned around. The woman I had been trying to talk to, the one I wanted to ask out, Michelle was her name. She said, "I love that show I'm watching season 13 on DVD right now". I perked up a smile came across my face. Nervously I said, "oh cool yeah its my favorite show" Michelle nodded and turned back to work, I went to my car got in and smiled. I knew how I was gonna break the ice now next time. A few days later on my daily visit to the diner I went in a little later than usual. It was about 3 in the afternoon. It was dark and gloomy, raining, and cold. It felt like a Supernatural episode. It felt like a 67 Impala should have been in the parking lot and two good looking hunters should be in the corner on a laptop researching their current case. It felt like a magical moment. Turns out I was the only customer in the whole place. It was just me the waitress and Michelle who was cooking that day. They took my order without asking as the usually did and I could already see Michelle had already started cooking it. She finished and brought it to me herself. We exchanged a look and a feeling of confidence I have never had in my life overcame me and I said to her, "So are you enjoying season 13?" That is how it all began we started talking about the show. How we started watching it who our favorite characters were, how much we loved this season or that one. The conversation was seamless. We got into other get to know you topics around our conversation about Supernatural and it was like we were old friends talking about a show we loved. Eventually I got up and went to pay the waitress and she turned to go back to the kitchen in the back. Feeling an opportunity slip away I said "hey Michelle, maybe we should go get some dinner some time and watch some Supernatural together". I held my breath. She would surely smile and politely say no. She probably gets asked out all the time by the customers, beautiful woman that she is. Then she smiled and said "sure that would be great" I must have smiled so big and my heart skipped 10 beats! I got her number which she wrote on a order ticket and the rest they say is history. Ten months later I wrote ,"will you marry me" on the back of that order ticket and gave it to her at counter 6 at the diner where we met, where we first started talking about Supernatural, where my life finally changed for the better forever, and she said yes! We were married two months later on our one year anniversary and we just watched the final episode together yesterday. We both had tears, we both smiled when Sam and Dean, soulmates, were finally together at the end because we both know how it feels to be with each others soulmate. We held each others hand and said goodbye together.

Supernatural has forever changed me. It has been with me through every major event in my life over the last 15 years. Through the dark times, through the hard times, and finally through the current happy times. I guess it is ok that Supernatural is over now. I no longer need it. I have my wife, my Michelle, my soulmate. I am finally happy. I have Sam and Dean's permission to move on and they have mine. Good bye Winchesters. Good bye and thank you. You have taught me to carry on and find my peace when I'm done, and to cry no more. This is but one man's story, one of so many. How many lives has this show changed? How many people have found comfort in the adventures of Sam and Dean? I'm not sure the answer. Too many to count I would wager. 15 years and 300 episodes of the greatest show ever on TV. Thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.  

[you-cant-spell-subtext-without]

hello hello hello!  and welcome to Season 12 of Supernatural. 

I admit that initially I STRUGGLED WITH SEASON 12.  I LOATHED the British Men of Letters (other than Lady Antonia Bevell; her hot working mom energy can get it); I have...mixed feelings about Mary; overall it was not a stellar season for me the first go-round.  HOWEVER I shall now give it a second chance,  and look for the subtext within the bad (and if my theory tracks, there will be much subtext as...there is much bad).  Maybe I’ll even develop Ketch appreciation.  **ONWARDS ONCE MORE INTO THE BREACH, MY FRIENDS:

When we last left Dean, I neglected to mention that Amara brought his mom back (this is how much I repressed Mary Winchester I guess?)  We cut to Mary, confused, in a nightgown (I get this is part of the character and that’s why she is wearing it sO wE kNOw iTS rEAlLy MaRY WinCHEstEr because of her nightgown and not Sam Smith’s exquisite face, but honestly WHY - LIKE DID SHE WEAR THE DAMN THING IN HEAVEN THE ENTIRE TIME TOO?).

DEAN [breathing heavily] 

Mom. Listen to me. Your name – your name is Mary Sandra Campbell, okay? You were born December 5, 1954, to Samuel and Deanna Campbell. Your father, he bounced around a lot for, uh, work, and you bounced right along with him, and you ended up in Lawrence, Kansas.

MARY 

How do you know all that?

DEAN 

Dad told me. March 23, 1972, you walked out of a movie theater – Slaughterhouse-Five. You loved it, and you bumped into a big Marine and you knocked him flat on his ass. You were embarrassed, and he laughed it off, said you could make it up to him with a cup of coffee. So, you went to, uh, Mulroney's and you talked and he was cute and he knew the words to every Zeppelin song, so when he asked you for your number, you gave it to him, even though you knew your dad would be pissed. That was the night that – that you met –

MARY 

John Winchester.

DEAN 

August 19, 1975, you were married... in Reno. Your idea. A few years later, I came along, then Sammy.

***DEAN DESCRIBING EVERY DAMN DETAIL OF THIS HAS MURDERED ME.  Also, I know John Winchester “told him the story,” but something about this retelling - these are NOT John Winchester’s words (other than maybe “big Marine”).  The emotions, the feelings, the “you talked and he was cute” Dean is describing is Dean’s retelling, the version he created in his mind of this damn meet-cute, this little love story he played over and over in his head, and that makes me feel warm and tingly and also want to ingest sharp knives.  

***Everyone already knows about the damn Zeppelin reference but just in case you wanted to be tortured, please recall that later on we will get

THIS FUCKING SHIT

Nothing to see here other than Dean using a reference from this LOVE STORY on Cas.  I HATE it here in super hell.  Next rounds on you, Sam.

Anyway, Mary has caught on:

I paused here just now because I had a tHoUGHt.  This season is all about exploring Dean and Sam in their role as sons (this is discussed at the SDCC panel prior to the season; btw they are all free on Prime and I recommend watching before you start each new season for little “reveals” behind some of the plot lines).  We know Sam has no relationship to Mary really, he was a baby when she died, but Dean was a little boy - with a personality, character traits, identifying characteristics that his mother probably knew like the back of her hand.  That’s why my first run-in with Mary left a bad taste in mouth during this season - LIKE THIS IS YOUR KID, and there is NO inkling or recognition until THIS moment?  In a show that just spent an entire season exploring the “unexplained connection” between Dean and GODS SISTER, there no immediate “OH” from his own mother?!

But then I realized why she only connected at this very moment.  This particular moment - and not the moment where he lists the factual details about her before the story of the night she met John.  That little story with all those cute details - that’s the part of Dean that Mary knew before she died - when that part was ALL of Dean.  Before hunting, before John’s quest for revenge turned him into the person he is today, before he saw himself as a blunt little instrument.  That’s why initially Mary has no recognition that this is her son - because the Dean she knew was sensitive, and kind, and OPEN, and liked love stories, and laughing, and warm hugs and maybe flowers. Because if you think about it WE DONT KNOW THAT DEAN.  We only know Dean AMD. (After Mary’s Death).

*****************************************************************************************************

So maybe Mary represents Dean Before Mary’s Death, and whatever part of that Dean remains, no matter how deep he has been buried.  The part that connects with people; the part that doesn’t want to be alone.  The part that helped Amara.  The part that loves Cas.  And that’s why Amara brought her back.  

*****************************************************************************************************

Ok, if I think of it this way, I may like Mary a little better now.

BUT ALSO MY BABY:

Cut to Cas.

[THE MAN WALKS OVER TO THE EDGE OF THE CRATER MADE BY THE LANDING AND SEES CASTIEL PULLING HIMSELF OUT.]

MAN 

Holy mother.

[CASTIEL STANDS UP AND LOOKS AROUND]

CASTIEL 

Where am I?

MAN

Uh...Earth?

CASTIEL 

No. How far am I from Lebanon, Kansas?

MAN 

Uh... Th-three hours, maybe. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Who – What are you, man?

[CASTIEL WALKS TOWARDS THE MAN AND TOUCHES HIM ON THE FOREHEAD. THE MAN DROPS TO THE GROUND. CASTIEL LEAVES HIM THERE AS HE DRIVES OFF IN THE TRUCK]

***I spy a Season 11 random parallel

And Cas says, “Earth - 

***Also, I often wonder if in his mind’s inner GPS, Cas bases distances on how far he is from Dean. 

In the meantime, Bad Things Are Happening to Sam.

***Toni Bevell, don’t join the British Men of Letters you’re so sexy hahah

Other than noting that this is yet another too oft- repeated Sam, the Victim, Always Gets Tortured scenario, I see no point in recapping these parts.

I will just continue to post Toni Bevell hotness for these portions of the episode. Ok?  Ok.  You’re welcome.

BACK TO THE BUNKER:

I already posted this sweet baby reunion in my final Season 11 analysis/recap, but lets see it again at another angle and from Mary’s perspective CAUSE CLEARLY she has...*thoughts*

Poor Cas had no idea he was about to MEET THE PARENT 

It melts my little heart that Dean uses Cas’s full name to introduce him to people.  Especially members of his family who are trying to kill him.

Anyway, then we get a much longed for gem of typical Cas deadpan:

(*I still miss Casifer a little bit though*)

And then we have 

A MOMENT OF CONNECTION!  

At the SDCC panel, Misha specifically noted that both Mary and Cas are outsiders, so this tracks. 

They head to the garage:

[Exhaling sharply, Mary walks towards Baby. She runs her hand lightly over the car.]

MARY This was John's car. Oh, she's still beautiful.

DEAN Hell, yeah, she is.

MARY Hi, sweetheart. Remember me?

[MARY LEANS DOWN AND LOOKS INTO THE CAR SMILING. SHE STARTS LOOKING AT THE FRONT SEAT BUT HER EYES AND HER THOUGHTS LINGER ON THE BACK SEAT. DEAN LEANS DOWN LOOKING AT THE INTERIOR OF THE CAR WITH PRIDE. DEAN LOOKS AT HIS MOM AND REALIZES SHE’S HAVING VERY SPECIFIC MEMORIES OF TIME IN THE BACK SEAT. DEAN LOOKS AROUND THE CAR, AND LOOKS AT HIS MOM.]

***this is where you truly see that Sam Smith is a genius because she took those directions and put them all into THIS:

And then THIS:

DEAN 

Oh…

[MARY LOOKS UP AT DEAN. DEAN REALIZES HE MIGHT HAVE BEEN CONCEIVED IN THAT CAR, STANDS UP QUICKLY AND LOOKS OVER THE CAR. DEAN SWALLOWS HARD, AND GLANCES AT CASTIEL WHO GIVES HIM A QUIZZICAL LOOK.]

DEAN 

We should go.

***At this time I would like to remind everyone that Cas is also generally in the back seat of this car.  

MOVING ON

Meanwhile-

Back at the bunker, Cas is Continuing to Connect with his boyfriend’s mother:

[EXTERIOR DAY; INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS AND THE NOISE OF VIDEO GAMES ARE HEARD. THE CAMERA PANS TO MARY WHO’S WATCHING THE SCENE. CASTIEL IS PICKING UP COFFEE.]

CASTIEL 

Thank you.

[CASTIEL TAKES THE COFFEE TO MARY AND SITS DOWN.]

CASTIEL

This must be difficult for you. I remember my first moments on Earth. It was jarring.

MARY 

One word for it. I grew up with Hunters. I've heard of people coming back from the dead before. But to actually do it... after 30 years. A lot's changed.

[MARY LOOKS AROUND.]

MARY A lot.

Cas:

This is usually a look Reserved For Dean, so its interesting Cas is looking at Mary here [they also weirdly joked about Cas hitting on Mary at the SDCC panel and now I'm giggling because if Mary represents the soft part of Dean this all makes PERFECT SENSE).

BONUS

Actual footage of Sam in super hell

The Cas/Mary bonding worked BTW:

[INTERIOR: GREGORY IS SITTING IN FRONT OF HIS DESK WITH CASTIEL, DEAN, AND MARY STANDING BEFORE HIM.]

DEAN 

So, you dug the bullet out of his leg, no questions asked?

GREGORY 

She offered me 100 grand.

MARY 

And you took it?

GREGORY 

Student loans were a bitch, okay?

[ANGRILY CASTIEL STARTS TOWARDS GREGORY.]

DEAN 

Cas! Cas! Cas! Don't hurt him. Not yet.

**Disclosure: I do not accept the “Cass” spelling and take creative license to change it in the script whenever it appears**

GREGORY 

All right, look, she didn't give me her name. When we were done, the driver bailed, I got paid, and then some other chick shows up, and they all drive away.

MARY 

And that's everything you know?

GREGORY 

(insincerely) Yeah. Totally.

****Um, Mom that’s my boyfriend you don’t order him around like tha-

Oh, well, ok then.

***This is important, because Cas doesn’t obey anyone (other than Dean) blindly ever since he invented free will and all that.  Hence Dean’s surprised/impressed look to Mary above.  

Meanwhile:

I recall that I spent most of my first watch of Season 12 gushing over Toni Bevell, so I’m glad to know this won’t be changing.  You’ve been warned.

Next up, Sam is again sex tortured, Cas is a Helpful Boyfriend, and for some reason, Rick Springfield.  

[impala1967dwinchester]

Baby Fever IV

*Not my gif*

Word Count: 1k

Mention of All befriended people of the Winchester boys 

Masterlist

Christmas had gone wonderful the tree sitting bright everyday. Hunts were tolerable nothing too dramatic or bizarre. The new year was stupendous the boys hadn’t made any foolish choices just yet. Sam and Dean had ended up treasuring their gifts. Dean had gotten a few things for his brother and a few things for me.

Recap:

“I’m so sorry Y/n. I didn’t mean to take advantage of you.” Sam said going to sit down at the now-empty table. “Sam, it’s fine. I kinda liked it.” I said the blush rising in my face.

I went over to Sam kissing his forehead, and said “good night Sam,”

I went into my room putting together the boy’s baskets, full of things that I assumed that the boys would like.

Some things were crazy, some were more sentimental. Sam on the other hand had thought about his gifts, clothes for Dean since he had a problem with washing his clothes after a rather gruesome hunt. Sam had also gotten Dean a few magazines, along with a new pair of boots. He also gave Dean a card inside of which held a gift card for the new year of pies. Something that Dean stood and hugged his brother for.

For me, Sam had gotten a few of the same things, new boots, new clothing. The different things were such as a heart necklace, the stone was blue with diamonds that crested the outline of the heart. And a new pair of jammies.

His brother went to tease him. “Oh look at you giving special gifts to Y/n” “Dean shut up, Or I’ll take your gift-card back,” Sam said with raised eyebrows. Dean pouted and then apologized.

“Do you like it?” Sam asked me. I giggled, looking up at him. “Can you help me put it on?” I asked. I heard a snort come from Dean as he looked up from his phone. “Of course Y/n” I pulled my hair to the side letting Sam drape the necklace over my chest. “All done.” I heard Sam say I let my hair go and turning.

He looking tracing the silver chain down to the crevice of my chest. “It looks good.” He smiled and winked at me. The new year was amazing the boys had gathered a few friends, a small party. Sam had decorated the map room and library. A mistletoe sitting above the entire way of the library. Something that I assume Dean or Sam forgot to take down. Food and drinks lining the table. A few poppers and glow sticks alongside the drinks.

Dean had invited Charlie, Jody, Donna, Rowena, Kevin, Garth, his wife, and his kids, Castiel, and of course Claire with her girlfriend Kaia. Like I had said before it was a rather small party. Dean had dragged his TV out of his room placing it at the end of the table in the library and looked for a news channel.

“So what’s up with the mistletoe?” Jody asked. Dean turned around “Shit, I forgot that. Whatever.” Jody chuckled

Finally, after drinking and dancing, it was closer to the end of the year. We immediately started to pair up with people sitting together and just being happy. I hadn’t been paying attention when I felt a large hand grab my hand. When I looked up it was Sam I sighed in contentment.

At that moment I think he had kind of made a whole life with me in his head. His bright smile only becomes brighter whenever he talked to me. His broad chest and ridged shoulders dropping when I grabbed his wrapped my arms around his neck.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see, Rowena smiling and watching the television. She winked at me. She had become a motherly figure to Sam and was always there on her own to protect him. That wink and smile had given me a sort of approval. For what I didn’t know yet.

“Yo, Lovebirds The count down is about to start,” Dean said. I rolled my eyes. “Dean If there weren’t so many people here right now, I come over there and punch you.” I slapped Sams chest “Stop and just enjoy the new year.” I said with a small chuckle.

In unison, we counted for the new year.

“10″

“9″

“8″

“7″

“6″

“5″

“4″

“3″

“2″

“1″

“Happy new year,” We all said, and Sam kissed me. I kissed him back. The kiss was deep, meaningful. Like Sam had waited his entire life to do kiss me. He left my lips, and instead of going to cup my cheeks.

Everything after that seemed like a dream. Sam was touchy. Which didn’t bother me at all. Not wanting to let me go for too long. He’d kiss my forehead and cheek. After a while of more drinking and dancing, the Winchesters friends started leaving. Leaving just Dean, Cass, Sam, and I.  

Having someone that is touchy with me is new. Before coming to the bunker, and being around the boys, I hadn’t been around the best of men. My father was abusive to my mother, which caused any other relationship that I was in to be abusive. It was like I attracted crazy, I attracted the abusive.

It started when I was in high school every boyfriend was horrible. I was either psychical beat or mentally abused. Nothing was off the table for the men that I attracted.

My first boyfriend Clyde was great at the beginning of our relationship everything was sparkles and rainbows. But after awhile Clyde started to mentally fuck with me. he’d accuse me of cheating when in reality I was only with my sisters. He’d come up to me in school and grab me harshly. Pushing and pulling me into a closet or teacher's bathroom.

For day afterward I’d have marks around my neck, and wrists. He left marks on me, and he hated when I would cover them. My scarfs and bracelets would be ripped from my person.

That was only my freshman year. In my sophomore year of high school, I was dating a much worse. I was thinking of sitting down in the library. “Y/n are you okay?” Sam asked me. I thought for a minute. He had kissed me twice under his own wanting. He wasn’t abusive to me. He was the kindest, emotional, caring person I had ever met. Maybe I should tell him about my past, just so he knows, maybe it will be okay.

“No Sam. I’m not okay.” I said playing with the hem of my jacket. He turned his head. “Is it something that I did?... I knew I should have asked if you wanted to kiss me!” He said. He sat down next to me. “Sam, would you stop overthinking everything,” I said.

He shook his head and wrapped his hand around mine. “I was thinking about my past relationships. You kissed me and I can’t stop thinking that I might fuck this up by bringing my past into everything.” I said “ I tried dating all of my high school years, all of which ended in me broken-hearted and more broken than I was before.

“Some people only come into your life to show you what love is not,” Sam said. Wow, I don’t think I had ever thought of it that way. “Sam? Can I just tell you about my past relationships so you understand where I’m coming from?” I asked.

He smiled squeezing my hand. “Of course, Y/n”. “My first boyfriend was harsh and emotionally abusive to me. Clyde was my freshman crush and my boyfriend for a short while. I spend the rest of my freshman year thinking that love was meant to be abusive and hurt each other.”

He hummed letting me know that he was still listening to me.

“My second boyfriend Otis was my sophomore crush. He was again nice at the start, but it turned quickly into me being a “bitch” and a “whore” who was only after his friends. He was so mentally abusing that I actually ended up breaking up with him.”

“I’m glad that you were able to get out of it. Be the strong you.” Sam said.

“My third boyfriend had actually been so nice, ya see Sebastian was so cute he’d bring me flowers, and get me coffee in the morning. My junior year was set seeing as my third boyfriend was not just thinking about himself. It ended when he just cut me off. The niceness stopped and instead of telling me why he just left me on the end of a hook.”

“Seems like a dick,” Sam said I giggled and rolled my eyes.

“You see my fourth boyfriend was that guy that ended up dying from the Djinn. Tobias was a wishy-washy guy. One day he’d hit me and the next he’d bring flowers home, praising me until I saw it was okay. Just when I thought he was a good guy he’d go and fuck it up. He’d never actually go to the bar and drink. he’d go to the bar and go find another girl to fuck.”

“Y/n? Why didn’t you say the truth when we asked you?” Sam asked. I think Sam thought I wasn’t going to tell him seeing as I was quiet. “I mean you don’t have to tell me. I’m sorry if I overstepped a boundary.” Sam said a small expression of sadness falling over his face.

“You know, you’re too nice to be with me. Where’d you get it from?” I asked a chuckle coming from within me. “Y/n it didn’t get anywhere. I’m just a nice guy with a heart. I promise that I won’t treat you like that ever.”

“You promise?” I asked my voice definitely starting to crack. I hadn’t talked to anyone about the boys I had dated, nobody knew about the shit they had done to me.

“Y/n. I promise that I’ll be better than they were. I can’t say that I don’t have my issues and things I need to work on, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want this to not work. We both have to put in the effort for this to work.” Sam said.

“I  know that this is early and that you’re still hurting, but I want to be with you. I want this to work for you. We can go slow, we can go fast. Anything you are comfortable with. I just want to be in your corner Y/n.” Sam said.

Completed 01/17/2021 

[darkstar6782]

4.16: On the Head of a Pin - My Rewatch Review

This episode always leaves me weirdly conflicted, because I love almost everything about it, and yet it is one of the most difficult episodes for me to rewatch, because it drags both Sam and Dean down to new lows both in their personal trials and in their relationship, and then just leaves them there. And while this may be the lowest we see Dean get during this particular story arc, it is a really dark place that the story chooses to drag him to and leave him, and even though we don’t get as much of Sam and what he’s going through, the revelation that he has been getting his new-found demon-defeating powers by drinking Ruby’s blood is also a really dark revelation, and it is made worse by the knowledge that Sam has a whole lot deeper to sink before he will reach bottom and start to rise again.

But this episode is Dean’s story, for the most part, and the revelations about his part in the oncoming Apocalypse are as soul-crushing for anyone who loves his character as they are for Dean himself. It breaks my heart every time to watch his reactions to Alastair’s revelations, first about comparing him to John, and how John never broke while Dean did, and then to discover that through that breaking, the first Seal was broken, starting the Apocalypse. Dean’s reaction to this knowledge is 100% in-character, and 100% devastating. The boy who wanted nothing more than to be like his father, and to make his father proud, the boy who wanted to be a hero and who just wanted to save people from monsters and protect his little brother, the boy who was only in Hell because he sold his soul to save Sam’s life... It was bad enough when he just had to live with the guilt of all those souls he tortured, and the fact that he enjoyed doing it, but now he has to also live with the weight of the knowledge that everything that has happened as a result of the oncoming Apocalypse, every person that has died in the breaking of or defense of a Seal (including Pamela) is also tied into his decision to step off the rack and become the torturer. Add to that the fact that the angels only saved him because he still has a part to play, and that all of this is his destiny now, and has likely always been... It’s no wonder that it breaks him, and it makes me want to take him away from the writers and wrap him in blankets and never let anything bad happen to him ever again.

But it also makes me want to sit him down and scream “Talk to your brother, you colossal idiot!”, because everything that he is going through right now is the same thing that Sam has been living with since the end of season 2, and if the two of them would just be honest with one another for once in their lives, they could avoid a lot of the shit that is about to come between them. Dean’s issues with the idea of his destiny come from the fact that he sees himself, and wants to be, nothing more than an ordinary monster-hunter. He calls himself a hero, but he doesn’t want to be a super-hero. He doesn’t want the fate of the world or the lives of billions in his hands. And the thing is, though we never get as explicit a statement from Sam, it is obvious that he doesn’t want that either. The difference we see here, though, is that Sam has come to terms with the fact that the forces of good and evil have been screwing with him his entire life, and he has chosen to find a way to do something about it. He doesn’t realize yet exactly how he’s playing right into the hands of the forces he thinks he’s fighting against, but he has fallen firmly into the acceptance stage of the grieving process for the idea that he will ever have a normal life, while Dean is caught seesawing between denial, bargaining, and anger. And I feel like all it would take is one honest conversation between the two of them to bring everything out in the open, get them on the same page with regards to how they feel about being jerked around by angels and demons, and get them working together to forge their own destiny. But that’s not the story that’s being told, and it wouldn’t be as good a story anyway, and I know that, so I will put my sorrow at watching these characters that I love suffer on the back burner for the sake of the show that I love telling a really good story.

I also love watching Cass start to come into his own in this episode, though I thought that the climax of his fight with Uriel and Anna coming it at the last minute seemed weirdly contrived and poorly-written. Not sure exactly why, but it was the one moment of this episode that fell flat for me. Seeing what angels look like when they die is always freaking awesome, though—as with the way they handle the wings of living angels, the way that they do the wings of dead angels is truly inspired, and something that I have seen no show do as well as Supernatural. It is sad to think that I will get truly sick of the angels by the end of the series, because, for an aspect of mythology that the show had originally vowed never to touch, they did a great job with them at first when they did decide to bring them in.

[crowleygal]

Why I feel very little sympathy for Cas

It's basically a case of Make your bed you lie in it. Dean and Cas have always had a complicated history. Their relationship has been full of ups and downs, but for me the good always outweighed the bad. This analysis is only from season 11 on. Before then, I felt that Cas and Dean had a pretty good relationhip. Since season 11 Dean has gone out of his way to try and include Cas. When Cas was a dumbass and said yes to Lucifer, Dean did his best to try and save him. (While Sam was content to leave it to its fate, IIRC) Dean even thanked him for stepping up, when they wouldn't which we know itsn't true. In episode 11.23 Dean aplogizes to Cas if he made Cas feel like they were leaving him out, and calls him family and a brother. Not "like a brother." "You're our brother Cas and the best friend we've ever had." Admittedly, I've only watchd season 12 once but I can't think of any times Dean mistreated Cas or neglected him. Then The Future happened. (Ironcially written by Berens.) In this episode Cas has gone radio silent. He admits he's been ignoring Sam and Dean's messages. (So it seems like the rift with Dean isn't the first time he's done this. Its a pattern) Dean is clearly worried about him. He even tells Cas. "Dean: Cass, you can't – With everything that's going on, you can't just go dark like that. We didn't know what happened to you. We were worried. That's not okay" Castiel: Well, I didn't mean to add to your distress. I �� Dean, I just keep failing. Again and again. When you were taken, I searched for months and I couldn't find you. And then Kelly escaped on my watch, and I couldn't find her. And I just wanted I needed to come back here with a win for you. For myself. Dean: You think you're the only one rolling snake eyes here? Me and Sam, we had her. We had Kelly and we lost her. Then Dean tells him: Dean: We will find a better way. Castiel: You mean, we? Dean: Yes, dumbass. We. You, me, and Sam, we're just better together. So now that you're back, let's go, Team Free Will. Let's get it done. Now its seems like so many people stopped paying attenion after the they saw he mixed tape, becuase so many ignore that Cas used that to lower Dean's defenses and steal the colt. It seems like his sole purpose for coming back was specifically to steal the colt and not to check in. Cas has a history of isolating himself. He does it her. This episode confirmed he had a room at the bunker. He chose not to stay. Dean's upset but at Cas stealing the colt but this is response: :Dean: Well, he hasn't exactly had a banner year. I mean, think about it. Between Lucifer (Blows air) killing Billie, Ramiel, everything's been blowing up in his face. And he's so desperate for a win right now, he can't even see straight. (gestures to truck) Go ahead and give it a try. (Sam climbs in truck) He's stil trying to understand where Cas is coming from. Then at the end of the ep, Cas betrays them for a third time by knocking them concious. Season 13 after Cas's death. Dean is clearly devestated. He even calls Cas his win when he comes back. Cas's response is basically to leave again shortly after. Did Cas even ask Dean how he was doing with all the deaths. When Cas gets kidnapped by Asmodeus, what we are show ON SCREEN is that Sam is the one calling Cas and not recognizing that he was speaking with Cas. But notice how when it comes to to take responsibility, the writers put it on Dean. But at least Dean apologized saying he should have recognized it. So other than that, I can't really think of anything that Dean did that was so horribley wrong that would classify as mistreatment. When Jack killed the snake, both Sam and Dean at this part had no reason to be mad at Jack. Yes, Sam and Dean suspected but Cas knew that Jack's thought process was warped. There was no reason for him to withhold that information. It would have changed how Sam and Dean approached Jack. I don't hold Cas responsible for killing Mary, but I do hold him responsible for lying. Info that if Sam and Dean knew might have prevented Mary's death. Cas is also still with holding info. He hasn't told Sam and Dean about his deal. If he can't be honset he has no right to question why Dean doesn't trust him. Jack was a danger to everything and everyone around him at this time. Where exactly was Cas? He has the nerve to lecture Sam and Dean about their decisions but maybe they could ask if he stuck around. Time wise, in , from 14.17-15.03, two to threes weeks passed at most. Dean's grief was still very raw. Maybe what he needed was space. Did Cas really show any remorse for Mary's death? Not really. Maybe what Dean needed was a little bit of space rather than Cas trying to force the issue. But Dean seems to be the one character not allowed that. Now, on the other end of coin, I remember when Jack said Dean didn't matter. Cas didn't say a word in Dean's defence. He ceratinly didn't seem to care that Dean would die if used the gun. Did Cas stick around in case Dean needed him after the whole Michael possession? Cas and Dean have never been buddy/buddy. 90% of their relationship has been call when you need something (on both sides). There have been minimal refernces to Cas and Dean going out for beers or just hanging out. We don't see Cas just popping in or calling to see how Dean is doing, but now it seems people want to punish Dean for relationship with Cas that they never had. If Cas thinks that just because Dean might be upset with him he doesnt' care than Cas never really knew Dean at all and didn't care too. There is ample evidece. The amount of times Dean has called him family. Refusing to leave purgatory without him, greiving his death hard, not once but twice, keeping the trenchcoat, Calling Cas his win. Its right there. Just becuase the writers chose to ignore it doesn't mean I have too. So they are right that this relationship is one sided but its Dean doing the majority of the giving. No matter how a person feels about Dean and Cas's rift, he doesn't have any issue with Sam. So why is he not answering Sam's calls? This is a pattern with Cas and happened long before any fights. he has no reason too. Its a CHOICE Cas is making. Once again he's choosing to cut himself off. Cas not talking to Sam is not on Dean. Again he's choosing to ignore calls, and again NOT the first time. So if he's feeling alone, its becuase he chose to isolate himself. He chose to constantly take off and go it alone, despite Dean and Sam reaching out to him. Dean is still clearly worried because he wanted to make sure Cas knew about God. He's right when there is nothing else they can do. Dean sholdn't be expected to chase after Cas. It should not always be on his shoulders to make the relationship work. He's put himself out there plenty and had his share of rejection. So for Berens to push that Cas has always been this lonely neglected, woobie, and Dean is just a mean bully is manipulative writing 101. the show is acting like Dean has been holding the grudge over Mary for months. Its been weeks at most. People keep saying Cas is hurting, sure, I get that, but Dean is too. He had to feel betrayed that his best friend chose his mother's murderer, didn't care that he would die. Dean was always the biggest believer in free will. He even coined Team Free will, so finding out they never had it, had to hit him the hardest. He also has to be questioning whether Cas was ever truly on their side or just a plant from God. Whether you think Dean owes Cas an apology, I'm not here to tell you otherwise, but the situation is not a black and white as Berens presented it. That entire scene was unfair to Dean becuase it presented a very simplisitc, shallow view of a complicated situation. It ignored years of history for a couple of isolated scenes, and it didn't give Dean dialogue. So, maybe if Cas feels so isolated and wants to find out why, maybe one of the first things he needs to do is take a long look in the mirror. He said "had a friend" Cas ended that friendship. Not Dean. If Dean didnt' care they wouldn't have been trying to warn Cas to be careful. He's angry but he certainly doesn't hate Cas. So IMO, at lot of this situation is Cas's own doing and of his own making. He owes Dean an apology as much as Dean might owe him one. Until then, I like the way Jensen has been playing it. Cool, aloof, but obviously, still concerned. Relationships are are a two way street and I would also like Cas to take a long hard look at how he treated Dean, because he isn't blameles for the current state of their relationship. Sorry so long, but I don't know how to do a cut.

[noladyme]

Skip To My Lou, My Darling - Chapter 4, Hunted Hunter I

The road so far…

Lulu’s relationship with Dean Winchester ended before it began; when the hunter informed her, that he thought angels had put them in each other’s path. He wanted free will, and didn’t believe their emotions were real. Now Lulu is on the path of living a new life; one without supernatural beings, angels – and the man she feels deeper for than anyone she’s ever met before or after.

Our story continues in season 7

Tag list (Let me know if you want to be added) @edonaspanca​ @wonderlandfandomkingdom​

I

“Honey, grab me that roll of duct tape…”, Pete said. He was closing another cardboard box of books for me. I handed him the roll, and went back to the task of folding up clothes to put on top of the box of volumes I was packing myself. Pete came up behind me, and snaked his arms around my waist. “See?”, he said, while kissing my neck. “When you pack boxes half books/half clothes, they’re a lot less heavy”. “You’re right”, I muttered.

I turned around and kissed his cheek. He smelled nice; musky – but it lacked something. A certain note of smoke and charcoal. Gunpowder, I thought to myself. I tore myself from the thought, and grabbed another towel for the box. “Isn’t this Raul’s?”, Pete said; and held up a flannel shirt. “No… it’s mine”, I said. “Sort of”. Pete lifted a brow at me. “An ex?”, he jeered. “And you still have his shirt? What does he have, that I don’t?”, he grinned. I chuckled. “Taste in music”, I jeered; and went over to turn off the stereo, which had been playing Nickelback non-stop, since Pete arrived to help me finish my packing.

“The truck is waiting, muffin”, he said. “We need to finish this”. I lingered in front of a drawer in my dresser. “Yeah… Could you take down a few boxes?”, I said. “Sure”, he said; and walked over to take my hand. “Hey… this is the right move. Buddies going out of business like that… It’s the next step for us”. I nodded sadly. Pete grabbed the lightest box, and left the studio apartment I’d spent the last few years in.

We were moving to Kansas City; the home of my alma mater – where I’d been offered a position as a 3’rd grade teacher. Pete was going to focus on his music while I worked. He’d nabbed a gig as a bartender; and would also be going on a tour of Missouri about a week after we arrived, with his band. Sweet as he was, he was also a bit clingy since I’d agreed to go with him to Kansas. I was honestly looking forward to a full month to myself; without him hovering over me.

When I was sure he was gone, I opened the bottom drawer in the dresser; and lifted the fake bottom I’d put in it. Grabbing my utility jacket; I took the angel sword from the drawer, and slid into the inside pocket I’d sown into it – specifically for this reason. I also took my flask of holy water; and threw it in my purse. “Honey-sweetie-bunch?”, Pete said from behind me; making me jump. “What’s that? Secret drawer of toys?”, he winked. “Something like that”, I smiled; trying to hide the surprise in my voice. “Just a gift from a friend”. “The ex?”, he asked, narrowing his eyes. “Nope”, I said; and stood up. “Last box”, I said, and gestured towards the cardboard box on the floor. Pete grunted. “My back is killing me…”. I rolled my eyes, and picked up the box myself, as he held the door for me.

As he closed it behind us, he ran his hand over the carved sigil on the wood. “No surprise you didn’t get much of a deposit back”, he muttered. “Come on”. I looked at the sigil, sighed; and followed my boyfriend down the stairs.

---

A little over week later I was stood in my new kitchen, kissing Pete goodbye. “I’m gonna miss you so much”, he breathed into my hair. “Me too”, I said. He slid his hand down my arm; brushing the almost invisible scars there. “Just remember, I’m coming back. Ok?”, he said. “You’ll be fine. Think happy thoughts. And no more weird occult books”. “Uh huh”, I muttered. Pete still thought my scars were from a suicide attempt. “I love you”, he smiled. “You too”, I said. He leaned in and pecked my lips. “Bye”.

I closed the door after him, and took a deep breath. Thank god, I thought. “Hello, Lulu”, a voice behind me said. I grabbed the kitchen knife on the counter, and turned around quickly. My eyes widened. “Castiel?”, I croaked. I put down the knife, and rushed over to embrace the angel. Unsurprisingly, he didn’t reciprocate the hug. “What are you doing here?”, I asked.

The angel strolled through the combined kitchen and living room, seemingly taking in the sights. He looked a little worse for wear; red marks around his eyes. “This is your home now”, he said, more as a statement than a question. “Yeah… me and…”. “Pete”, Castiel said. “I saw him leave. I decided against making myself known”. I narrowed my eyes. “I appreciate that… but you still didn’t tell me why you’re here”, I said. My breath hitched. “Are they…?”. “Sam and Dean are alive, and somewhat well”, he muttered. “Things have happened to me since we last met. I have gained powers beyond your comprehension. As a gesture of compassion, I’ve decided to let you know that I will no longer be watching over you”.

I stepped backwards from Cass; feeling a sudden chill all over my body. “You’ve been… watching”, I muttered. “Why?”. “As a favor to Dean. But I have more important things to tend to, than his emotions”. I made a scoffing laugh. “You’ve been reporting to him? About me…”. “Only on your wellbeing. I haven’t given him details on your life. Only that you live and thrive”, Castiel said. “And I won’t be doing that anymore. You are on your own. I have a final gift, as a thank you for your former loyalty”. He put his hand to my chestbone, and a surge of pain went through my entire body. I yelped in pain. “Now angels will not be able to find you. I will have mercy on you in the upcoming battle”. “What? Cass, I…”. He was gone.

I sat down on a chair; my hands shaking. Dialing up the only number I could think of, with bated breath, I waited for the call to go through. “Agent Fisher speaking…”. “Bobby?”, I croaked. “Who’s this?”, the old man grunted. “It’s Lulu…”. There was a pause. “It’s been a while… Why no calls?”, he asked. “I’ve been... trying to move on”. “I figured that… just thought you’d let your Uncle Bobby know how you were doing. Are you still into leisurely reading about the occult?”. “Yes…”, I admitted.

I’d been receiving calls from Bobby about once a month since I left South Dakota with Castiel. He’d had me look up creatures and ghosts I knew he could easily find info on himself. I figured he wanted to keep me studying up to keep me warm for potential hunting in the future. In spite of the thrill I’d felt helping the Winchesters and him solve the case of both the bloody countess and the myling; the thought of actually hunting myself, was much too farfetched. And it reminded me of someone I didn’t want to think about. I’d stopped calling Bobby back a good six months earlier.

“What’s wrong, kid?”, Bobby asked quietly. “I just had a visit from our winged friend”. “You saw Cass?”, he asked. “What did he do to you?”. “I don’t know. It was painful. He said angels wouldn’t be able to find me… What’s going on, Bobby?”. “Same as always”, he grunted. “End of the world… that sort of thing?”, I said. “Something like that… He’s put some markings on your bones. Old enochian... It’ll hide you from angels”. I heard him take a deep breath. “Sweetheart, it’s good to hear your voice. Are you ok?”. “Yeah. I guess… In spite of the angel bad-touching me. He was saying some weird things. About watching over me”, I muttered. “Apparently, he quits. So, if you could tell Dean, that would be great”. “Lulu, it’s not like that…”, Bobby began. “You don’t have to defend him. I’m sure he just thought he was doing the right thing… again”, I said. “I just wish he’d make up his mind. Be in my life, or not”. “From what I hear, you’d prefer the not”, Bobby grunted. “What do you mean?”, I croaked. He didn’t answer. “Bobby!”. “I’ve been keeping tabs on you… Wanted to make sure you were ok”. “Dammit, Bobby. What is it with you hunters?”, I growled. “Can’t help it, kid. You grew on me”. I smiled to myself, as Bobby continued “You would have made a great hunter. Or at least researcher. You were my favorite assistant, you know”. “So you stalked me?”, I chuckled. “I have a friend with a computer”, Bobby grunted. “Kansas City?”. “Yeah… for now, I guess”, I said. “And the boyfriend?”, Bobby said. “Is he aware that it’s for now?”. I sighed. “Just… please let him know. Tell him I’m fine, and to…”. I didn’t know how to finish the sentence. “I will”, Bobby said. “Bye”, I croaked. “Goodbye, kid”, he said. I hung up.

---

Some months later, I was at work; ignoring phone calls from Pete. He’d been calling non stop since I moved out of our shared apartment, and into a hotel room. His texts were constant, and I was reeling from lack of sleep, due to my neighbors in the hotel keeping me up with loud fights.

As I said goodbye to the kids for the weekend, my phone once again rang. I closed the door to my classroom, and finally relented – picking up the call. “Pete. I told you…”. “Lulu…”. There was that voice that had always made my heart flutter – and I had missed so bad I could feel it in my bones, whether I wanted to admit it to myself or not. “Dean… hi”, I said. “It’s been a while”. “Yeah…”, he sounded choked. “What’s wrong?”, I asked. “It’s, uhm… It’s Bobby. We lost him, Lulu”. I gasped raggedly. “Bobby’s dead?”, I croaked. “Yeah. He’s gone”. “I’m so sorry, Dean”, I breathed. “Me too… He had some stuff he wanted you to have”, Dean said quietly. “We’re in Kansas. I was wondering if I could drop them by”. The thought of seeing my former paramour again made my breath hitch. “Uhm… yeah. I’m in…”, I began. “I know”, he muttered. “Tonight? It’ll just be me. I hope that’s ok”. “Yeah, sure. I’ll be there”, I said quietly. “See you”, he said, and hung up.

I had to sit down for a moment. Bobby was gone. And I was about to see Dean for the first time in almost three years. My heart was racing; and when my phone rang again, I picked it up immediately.

“Dean?”, I rasped. “Who’s Dean, honey?”, Pete’s voice asked. I sighed. “No one, Pete. I asked you not to call me again”. “Lulukins, I miss you so bad it hurts”, he said “I can’t do this right now. I just heard about a death in the family, and I…”. “Do you want me to drop by? I could bring a movie…”, Pete almost pleaded. “No, that’s not necessary. Just… please leave me alone”. I hung up.

I drove back to my hotel – heart frayed, and at the same time jumping out of my chest. Knowing what had happened the last time I saw a Winchester just having lost someone they loved, I picked up a bottle of bourbon, and for Dean’s – and my own sake – I got a pie and canned whipped cream as well. I spent a good while in front of the mirror, pretending that I wasn’t trying to make myself look nice.

When the door knocked, I sprang over to it – then paused, as to not make myself seem too eager. I opened the door, and there he stood.

“Hi…”, I croaked. “Hey”, he whispered. We stood in silence for a moment, before I stepped aside. “Come in”. Dean stepped into my room, and looked around. “This is… nice”, he said. “It’s a dump. But it’s cheap”.

He looked at me with sad eyes. I stepped over to him, and put my arms around his neck; hugging him tightly. “I’m so sorry”, I whispered, as tears began flooding my eyes. “Bobby…”. He slid his arms around me. He smelled different than I remembered. More crisp. “Yeah… It sucks”. He pulled back. “A drink?”, I asked. “Sure…”.

He went to sit down by the small table in the room, and I handed him a glass of whiskey I’d already prepared. “How are you? Both of you?”, I asked, not wanting him to think I was specifically concerned for him. “We’re good… considering”, he muttered. “You? Anything weird going on here?”. I frowned, and sat down across from him, lifting my glass, and taking a sip. “I’m ok. Just sad to hear about Bobby. What happened?”. Dean looked down. “He was shot… in the head”. My breath grew ragged. “And he’s not coming back… like you did”. He looked at me; his eyes strangely distant – like he was looking at a complete stranger. “No. He’s gone for good”.

I lifted my glass. “To Bobby”, I muttered. Dean lifted his own glass, and clinked mine. “To Bob”, he said, and drank. I held my breath for a moment, and let it go once he put down his glass again.

I went over to the fridge, and got out the pie; cutting two slices. He looked at me intently. “Cream?”, I asked. “No thanks”, he said quietly. I frowned to myself, and looked over my shoulder at him; as I got two forks from the small kitchenette drawer, and placed a plate in front of Dean. “Sorry about the mismatched silverware. Like I said, this place is a dump”. He half smiled, and shrugged.

I sat down with my own pie, and cut a piece. “Eat up”, I said, and put the piece into my mouth; savoring the sweet taste. “Not hungry?”, I asked. He shook his head. “Not really…”. “It’s pie, Dean”, I said. He looked at me, and grabbed the fork; finally taking a piece himself – suddenly almost devouring it with insatiable hunger.

“So, you really haven’t seen anything strange around? No weirdness at all?”, he asked; his mouth full. I stood up, and went over to grab the bottle of whiskey from the counter. “No… why are you asking?”. He shrugged. “I just thought… After Bobby, someone might come for you”. The way he said it was as if he didn’t really care. “Are you asking about Cass?”, I said. “Oh, no… He’s dead too”. My jaw dropped. “Cass is dead?”. “Yup. Sort of… drowned”.

I poured him another glass. “You seem… indifferent”, I muttered. He looked at me coldly. “He was… my friend”. “Yes”, I nodded. “You’re not upset about him being gone?”. Dean suddenly smiled. The sight gave me shivers. “He was put to good use”.

I stepped backwards, heading for my jacket. “You going somewhere?”, Dean grunted; his green eyes hard. I smiled softly at him. “No, just needed something in my pocket”, I said, and slid my hand around the handle of the sword there. “You said you had something for me”, I muttered, and held the blade to my chest; keeping my back to him. I could see him shift in his chair, as his movements where mirrored in the water tap. He rose, and walked towards me; making a chill run down my spine. “I lied”, he said. “I just needed a good look at you before I eat you, and take your form”.

I spun around, and slashed at him; making him jump backwards. Leaning back on my right foot, I sprang forward again; the blade going through his gut. He simply looked at me – grinning. “What are you?”, I snarled. “Beyond your comprehension, human”, he hissed.

I pulled back the knife, and sprang for the door; the creature looking like Dean blocking my path with inhuman speed. “No, you don’t”, he chuckled. “Feisty, aren’t you?” “You don’t know the half of it”, I sneered, and slashed at him again “That doesn’t hurt me”, he smiled, and jumped at me.

I hacked at his hand, parting it from his arm; as he looked on in wonder. “Now I’ll have to grow a new one, you bitch!”, he growled.

Suddenly the door blew open, and two people I was very happy to see sprang inside. “Lou! Get back!”, the real Dean growled. He threw a glass jar of some kind of liquid at the creature; and as it splintered, and the monster was covered by the stuff, it began screaming in pain – smoke coming from it’s skin. “Let’s go!”, Sam yelled. I grabbed my jacket, and ran down the hall – Dean grabbing my hand as we went. As we passed the reception counter, Dean threw a wad of bills at the guy behind it. “She’s checking out!”, he snarled, and with a hand on my back, he led me out of the door to the street.

Sam and Dean flanked me, and we walked down the street. “Just walk; don’t run”, Sam muttered. “Pretend everything is fine”. “What’s going on?”, I asked. “Later”, Dean said. “Keep moving”. I tried my best to look inconspicuous, and walked between the two men as if we were just taking an evening stroll. “I left my purse… my wallet”, I whispered. “You won’t need it”, Dean grunted. “This way”.

He pushed me towards an alleyway, where a station wagon was parked. Something was wrong – Dean wouldn’t be caught dead in this suburban-mom nightmare. My breath hitched. “Who are you?”, I said; and pulled out the sword again. “What are you talking about?”, Sam asked. From another pocket, I produced my flask. “Drink!”, I snarled.

He let out a breath, and grabbed the flask; drinking from it before handing it to Dean, who did the same. “We could still be shifters”, the elder brother muttered, and handed me back the flask. “Silver coated…”, I said; and held up the flask. “Good girl”, Dean said; the corner of his lip lifting.

“Hey!”, a loud voice yelled. I looked in its direction, and saw another Sam. “Get in the car”, Dean said; and opened the door to the back seat for me, slamming it shut after I got in. The brothers jumped in the front seat, and Dean put the key in the ignition, turning it. Only clicking sounds came from the engine. “Come on, you piece of crap!”, he growled, and turned the key again. The other Sam ran towards us, and slammed his palms on the hood of the car. Dean turned the key, cursing below his breath; and the engine started. He slammed down the pedal; and drove straight at the copy of his brother, making him roll over the hood, and onto the ground.

Dean raced down the alley, and turned onto the busy street.

We drove in silence for a while; leaving the city behind us. My heart was racing, and I almost thought it was my own body shaking, when I felt my phone vibrating in my back pocket. It was Pete. “I can’t talk!”, I said. “Honey, where are you? There’re police at your hotel!”, he almost yelled. “I’m… The family thing”, I said. “I should be with you”, he said. “You really shouldn’t. And stop calling”. I hung up.

Dean looked at me in the back mirror. “Boyfriend?”, he asked. “Ex”, I muttered. He held my gaze for a moment, before returning to the road. “Can you turn on the radio? I need a distraction from the guy who’s hand I just chopped off”. Sam turned on the radio. “Pop Radio. All night for your listening pleasure”, a cheery voice said. A soft guitar began playing. “Lying in your arms, so close together. Didn’t know just what I had. Now I toss and turn, ‘cuz I’m without you. How I’m missing you so bad…”, the song began.

Dean turned off the radio again. “We need CD’s for this piece of junk”, he grumbled.

After about 30 minutes of driving, we pulled up at a dreary looking motel. The brothers led me into a generic looking rented room. Once inside, Sam locked and bolted the door. I stood for a moment, just looking at the two men in front of me. This time it was really Dean – I was sure of it. He was a little older – a few crows’ feet at the corner of his eyes, which in no way to away from his handsomeness. In a strange way, they added to it. His green eyes sparkled, and his lips drew upwards into a soft smile. I sprang into his arms; and he held me tightly, as I buried my face in the crook of his neck. Musk, gunpowder and whiskey. He was warm, and his arms enveloped me in that familiar and comforting way; that yet had me feel like I was touching him for the first time, and sent delightful heat straight to my core – and to my heart. Yeah. This was Dean. As I pulled back, I had to fight the urge to brush my lips against his.

I turned to Sam, and he pulled me close, kissing the top of my head. “Hi, Lulu”, he said quietly. “Sorry about the abrupt kidnapping”. “It’s ok. Figured it was life or death”, I smiled. The brothers both let out a soft chuckle.

I went to sit down, my legs shaking slightly. “You live dangerously, Lou”, Dean said. “Two years, and you just let me walk in to your place?”. I shrugged. “I took precautions”, I said. He frowned. “I poured holy water into his drink, and had him eat with a silver fork”, I said. “That’ll work against demons and shifters, not leviathans”, he muttered. “What?”, I grimaced. “No one told me about any leviathans. And I don’t know what those are”. “Gods original monsters”, Sam said. “Bad guys”. I scoffed. “That became quite apparent, when he mentioned eating me”.

I sighed. “So, he was lying, right? About Bobby being dead? Cass?”. Sadness marked both the brother’s faces. I drew in a short breath. “No…”, I whimpered. “Gunshot… with Bobby”, Dean muttered, not meeting my eyes. “Castiel?”, I whispered. “We’re not sure…”, Sam said. “He… brought them here. The leviathans”.

I closed my eyes, and shook my head. “He came to see me a while back. Talked about watching over me”. I sent Dean a look. He seemed uncomfortable. “Bobby told us”, Sam said. “He also mentioned you were in Kansas”. “He’d been keeping track of me, after I stopped returning his calls”, I replied. Dean frowned. “You kept in touch?”. “Did some research for him”, I said. “Greenbrier Ghost in West Virginia ring a bell?”. He narrowed his eyes at me. “You tracked down the husbands grave”, Sam smiled. I nodded.

Dean sat down across the table from me. He raised a worried brow. “Bobby had you hunting?”, he grunted. “Not exactly”, I said. “I was just looking up stuff for him”. Sam chuckled. “But he was heading in that direction with you, wasn’t he…?”. “I think so…”, I muttered “He wanted me studying, I know that much”. Dean shook his head in frustration. “What?”, I asked. “He should have left you alone”, he muttered. I narrowed my eyes at him. “What… Like stay out of my life, and not have angels following me around?”, I smirked.

Dean looked away, and cleared his throat. “We move on tomorrow”. “Move on where?”, I asked. “I have to go to work on Monday”. Sam frowned. “You should probably call in sick”, he said quietly. “Or dead”, Dean added.

I looked between the two men, my heart in my throat. “What’s going on?”, I croaked. “What’s a… leviathan?”. “Nasty sons of bitches, with one goal”, Dean said. “To eat”. I grimaced in confusion. “Us… humans”, Sam said. “Wow…”, I muttered. “That sounds… terrifying”. I swallowed hard. “And they were coming for me, why?”. Dean stood up, and went over to the minifridge to grab a beer. Sam looked at his brother, then moved his eyes to me; giving me a slight shrug in explanation. “Oh…”, I said. “They’re after you, and the…”. “People we care about, yeah”, Sam said.

I laughed and shook my head. “Just when I thought I got out”, I said. “You did get out, didn’t you?”, Dean asked, taking a swig of his beer. His eyes were hard. I nodded. “I stopped returning Bobby’s calls about a year ago. Suddenly, sadness took over me. “I wish I’d…”. Tears welled up in my eyes. “I loved that cranky old bastard”. Sam put a hand on my shoulder, and squeezed it. “We know”.

I wiped my eyes in my sleeve, and let out a deep breath. “The… other Dean said he left something for me”, I said. “It’s why I said yes to him visiting me”. The Winchesters looked at each other for a moment, before Sam stepped over to his bag, and grabbed a leather bound journal – much like the one their father had left them. “Sam, no”, Dean grunted. “He wanted her to have it”, Sam said. “Must have a had a reason for it”. Dean furrowed his brows in exasperation. “Yeah, he wanted her to hunt. And she’s not doing that”. “Not your call”, Sam said.

He handed me the book. It was a collection of notes on supernatural creatures; scribbled in a familiar hand. The curses written in the margins made me smile slightly. This was Bobby’s journal. “He left this for me”, I whispered. “Sort of”, Sam said. “His death came as a surprise, so he didn’t exactly have a will. But there’s this”. He opened the first page of the book, and pulled out a note from a small pocket in the leather. “If found, deliver to Lulu Moore”, it read. “I can’t be the only one with that name in the country”, I muttered. “You’re probably the only one he knew”, Sam said.

I turned over the note. A message was written there. “If you’re reading this, I’m probably dead. There’s no other reason for this thing to be in anyone else’s hands. Lulu. Take care of this book. It contains most of the research you did for me, with my own additions. There are also writings from before we met, that I think might come in handy, if you ever come across those two knuckleheads we both know. Stay safe, kid. But don’t stop reading. - Garth, if this is you; stop reading my private notes. Give the book to the woman I meant it for. Bobby.”

I let out a deep breath, and closed the book; holding it tightly to my chest. “If you read this note, you knew I was helping him”, I said. Sam looked down. “I knew. Dean didn’t”. “You knew?”, Dean growled. “You know how I feel about her hunting!”. “Yes, that’s why I didn’t tell you”, Sam retorted. Dean shook his head, and laughed sarcastically. “Anything else you didn’t tell me?”, he snarled. Sam looked at me. “Pete…”, he muttered. “Bobby kept me up to speed”. Dean frowned. “Who’s Pete?”. I met his eyes. “Oh… the boyfriend”. “Ex”, I whispered. “It didn’t work out”.

Sam looked out the corner of his eye at his brother. Dean took another swig of his beer, before putting it on the counter. “Get some sleep. We leave early”, he grunted. “I’m going to pack the car. I’m telling you, because I tell people things”. He grabbed a duffle from the floor, and left the room – slamming the door behind him.

“That went well”, I muttered. “He’s just… in pain”, Sam said. “Take my bed”, he said, and gestured for one of the two beds in the room. I shook my head. “Couch is fine”, I said, took off my jacket; and went over to lay down.

I pretended to be asleep when Dean reentered the room. “She out?”, he muttered. “Think so”, Sam whispered. “Good”, Dean said. “We need to get her somewhere safe, and move on. She can’t be around us”. “Around you, you mean”, Sam answered. “Not having this conversation again…”, Dean replied, and I heard the mattress of his bed creaking as he laid down. “Dean…”, Sam whispered. “Goodnight, Sammy”, Dean said.

---

When I woke, Dean was packing up his bag, and Sam was gone. I sat up on the couch, and stretched. “Sleep ok?”, he asked. “Yeah… coffee?”, I rasped. He zipped up the bag. “There’s a vending machine by the reception”, he said. I stood up, and grabbed my coat. “I’ll get it”, he muttered without looking at me. “I can get my own coffee”, I said. “You shouldn’t go out alone”, he grunted. I sighed. “I’m going”, I said, and reached for the doorknob. “Lou, come here”, he said. I turned around. “What, Dean?”, I said. “Just… please?”, he asked more warmly.

I stepped over to him, and he held out a small handgun. “This is a .45. It’s like mine, just… better for you. Smaller”. He pulled out a magazine. “Push it in. Pull back the barrel once”. He showed me the mechanism of the gun. “Safety off, safety on. Pull the hammer…”. “Point and shoot”, I said. He put the gun in my hand. “Exactly”. He looked into my eyes, and for a moment it seemed like he wanted to say something important; before he looked down again. “Grab me a cup, would you?”. “Yeah…”, I whispered, and stuck the gun into my pocket.

Outside, Sam was closing the trunk of the car. “Coffee run”, I said. “You want anything?”. “I’m good”, he smiled. “You armed?”. “The reception is just over there”, I chuckled, and gesture towards the place I was going. “But yeah. .45”. Sam nodded. “You good, Lulu?”, he asked. I shrugged. “As I’ll ever be, I guess”.

My phone rang; Pete’s name blaring up on the screen. I rolled my eyes. “I gotta take this”, I muttered, and picked up the call. “Pete…”. “Lulu, where are you?”, he said. “I’m… with family”, I said, and began walking towards the front desk. “Those two men you left with… They’re bad news”, Pete exclaimed. “I’m fine. Don’t worry about me”. “The cops are looking for them”. “How do you know…? And how do you know I’m with them?”, I asked. Pete paused for a moment. “Some people saw you… Honey, I want you home. Safe”. “Pete, stop calling me honey, and… just stop calling me”. I hung up.

Once back at the car, I handed Dean his coffee – receiving a grunt as a thank you. “Who was on the phone?”, Sam asked. “Pete”, I muttered. “The police are looking for you… and me, I think”. Dean looked across the parking lot, as if scanning it for unwelcome company. “Let’s go”, he grunted. “Where are we going?”, I asked, sipping at my paper cup. “You’re going somewhere safe”, Dean said. “We have a job”. “And where is safe?”, I asked. “Yeah, where?”, Sam smirked. “She’s not going with us to Lincoln”, Dean said grimly. I sighed and rolled my eyes. “Then take me back to my hotel”.

The brothers looked at each other. “It burnt down”, Sam said. “Shortly after we left the city”. He handed me a newspaper, showing me an article with a headline suggesting arson. I wondered why Pete hadn’t mentioned the fire. “All my stuff was in there…”, I sighed. Dean’s eyes widened. “Your books? Records?”, he gasped. I shook my head. “No, that’s all at my… at Pete’s apartment”. Dean let out a relieved sigh. “But my wallet with my driver’s license, my credit cards… everything”. Sam’s brows raised. “Good. That’s good, Lulu”, he said. “That means they can’t track you using them”. “The leviathans?”, I asked. He nodded. “I’m really in it again, aren’t I”, I sighed. “That you are, sweetheart”, Dean grunted, and opened the door to the back seat for me. “Let’s get you out of it”.

---

We drove north for a few hours in silence, taking small roads. Suddenly, Dean’s phone rang. He picked it up, holding it to his ear, while manning the steering wheel with his free hand. “Hello?... Frank. Thanks for getting back to me… Yeah, look we need… No, look… She’s not… Frank!”. He let out a frustrated growl, and slammed the phone on the dashboard. “No luck with Frank?”, Sam muttered. “He won’t take her”, Dean grunted, and looked at me in the mirror. “I guess I’m going to Lincoln”, I smirked.

Sam cleared his throat. “Seward, actually”, he said. “Sammy…”, Dean growled. “Just, give it a rest, Dean”, Sam sighed. He handed me a paper clipping. “Five similar deaths in the same house; over the span of 50 years”. “What are you thinking?”, I asked, as I looked over the article covering a strange story, involving a toaster in a bathtub, and a man electrocuted to death. “Sounds… ghosty”. “Ghosty?”, Dean grimaced. “Nice word, Daphne”. I sent him a menacing look in the mirror. “If anything, I’m Velma. I don’t just get by on my good looks, Fred…”. Dean muttered something below his breath.

Sam cleared his throat. “Yeah. Probably ghost”, he said. “The other deaths included a man who choked on a piece of carrot in his garage while working on his car, and another who fell of a ladder set up in the living room”. “That sounds… weird”. “Ghosts usually are weird”, Dean grunted. I shook my head. “No, I mean, who brings a toaster into a bathroom?”, I said. “A killer?”, Dean said exasperatedly. I sighed. “Was the guy married?”, I asked. “Yeah…”, Sam said. “To a woman… with hair”, I smiled. “Wouldn’t there be a hairdryer in the bathroom?”. He seemed to ponder my words. “She might be bald”, he muttered, “And the carrot in the garage? Who brings vegetables to fix up a car?”, I asked. “Sam would…”, Dean smirked. “Well, Sam’s special”, I grinned.

“So!”, Sam said, trying to divert the conversation. “Speaking of married. I heard Raul and Chad…”. Dean had told him about our conversation at Bobby’s house. At least part of it. “Yeah… Right before I saw you last”, I said. Deans eyes were fixed on the road in front of him. “And they’re happy?”, Sam asked. I nodded and smiled. “I think so. They moved to San Fran. About to adopt”. “That’s great!”, Sam smiled. “When this job is done, we can put you on a bus there”, Dean muttered.

I suddenly felt rage streaming through my body. “Pull over”, I said. Dean frowned. “Pull over, or I’ll jump out of the car while you’re still driving!”.

Dean stopped the car beside an abandoned gas station. I got out of the car, and walked down the road in the direction we’d been coming. I heard a car door slam behind me. “Lou!”, Dean called after me. “Get back in the car!”. “Screw you!”, I called back. “I’m going home”. He must have run after me, because suddenly his hand were on my shoulders, and he forced me to turn around. “What home? Your hotel is burnt down, and the police are looking for you; after you skipped town with two fugitives. Top it off; we got leviathans tracking you”. “And you”, I snarled. “You’re safer with us… for now”. I laughed sarcastically. “Oh, now you want me around…”. “What’s that supposed to mean?”, he frowned. His green eyes were on fire.

I pushed him away from me. “Three years, Dean!”, I growled. “You called it off; didn’t want me around, because I’d be safer… and because of free will… Well, guess what! I’m using my free will, to get away from you. Congrats. You got what you wanted”. I stomped away from him.

“Yeah. Call up Pete. I’m sure he can pick you up. Bring you home… See how long he can keep you alive!”, Dean called after me. I turned around, enraged. “Jealousy, Dean? Really?”, I snarled. “You trying to tell me you didn’t jump into the first warm bed you could find, after Cass brought me back to Denver?”. His eyes flickered. “I didn’t… Not right away”. He met my eyes again; looking hurt. “Not like you”. “What do you mean?”, I croaked.

He ran a hand down his face; clearly regretting his words. “Sam… went away. I thought he was dead”. He let out a deep breath. “I was alone. Bobby told me to go find you, but you were already… So, I went somewhere else. I couldn’t face being alone”. My heart dropped into my stomach. “It was… serious, I take it”, I muttered. He nodded. “Lisa… and her kid. She was… is, a really great person”. I took a deep breath. “That’s good. I’m happy for you”, I lied.

I wanted to run away; and to scream and cry. But all I could do was stand there, and pretend that he hadn’t just ripped my heart out; and thrown it on the ground, before stomping on it. “It’s over, Lou. Has been for a long time”, Dean said. “Doesn’t matter. It’s none of my business”, I whispered. He tilted his head, and parted his soft lips. “Isn’t it?”, he asked. “No. You chose to not make anything of… this”, I gestured between us.

He sighed. “I came back for you, Lou”. “You never let me know”, I said. “You could have showed yourself, instead of being a creepy stalker, and sending your winged boyfriend to watch over me”. “I spent a year grieving my brother, and missing you!”, he croaked. I looked him square in the face, and pushed hard at his chest. “In the arms of someone else”, I cried out.

“You moved on as well”, he said quietly. “Pete…”. “Was a sad break! For god’s sake, the man listens to Nickelback!”, I whimpered. “Why do you think I stayed in touch with Bobby? Other than the fact that I loved the old son of a bitch… It was my only link to you”. A tear escaped my eye. Dean stepped towards me, reaching for me; but I shrugged him off. “I can’t take back the last three years. But I never meant to hurt you”, he said. I scoffed. “Angels put us together, right?”, I rasped. “That’s why you’re saying this”. “I’m… not so sure anymore”.

I wiped my eyes, and took a deep breath: “What do you mean?”, I asked. “Fate… She’s a bitch, but meeting her taught me something about free will”, Dean muttered. “Fate?”, I asked. “It’s a long story…”, he grunted. “Point is; fate, or angels, or whatever; might have put us in each other’s paths – but we still have choice. Free will”. “To do what?”, I asked. “To act on what’s between us, or not”. He took a tentative step forward. “We can choose not to be together… Or we can choose the opposite”.

“You chose to stay away”, I whispered. He nodded sadly. “Yeah… Because I’m an idiot”. “You really are”, I agreed. Dean put a hesitant hand on my arm. “Please, just come with us”, he pleaded. “For whatever it’s worth, I want you safe. And me and Sam are pretty much the only people I know who I trust to keep you that way, right now”.

I looked into his eyes. His whole being radiated warmth and compassion for me in that moment – and something else. Something I knew what was, but was still too heartbroken and confused to accept. “Ok”, I whispered. “I’ll come with you”. Dean gave me a relieved smile, and opened his arms slightly, as if to embrace me.

I walked past him, and got back into the backseat of the car. Dean got in front of the wheel, and gave me a hard and confused look in the mirror.

---

[runarelle]

What We Deserve

Supernatural fanfic, one shot, Episode 15.20: Carry On Fix-It.

Read on AO3: What We Deserve

Relationships: Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel & Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester

Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Castiel

Additional Tags: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, One Shot, Episode Fix-It: s15e20 Carry On, Episode Fix-it, Fix-It, Hurt Dean Winchester, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, Destiel if you want, Emotionally Hurt Sam Winchester, Angel Healing, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts

Summary:  Dean was dying, and it wasn't okay. And then suddenly, he wasn't, and it was.

"I think we deserve

a soft epilogue, my love.

We are good people

and we’ve suffered enough."

– Seventy Years of Sleep # 4. nikka ursula

… 

They’d been here so many times before. This felt familiar. Charted yet uncharted territory. 

This was different. 

Sammy didn’t deserve this, so many goodbyes. None of them deserved this. But as Adam had once put in so eloquently, when had life ever been about what you deserved?

Everytime they thought it would be the end, it hadn’t. They’d somehow, someway, always found a way back. Through unconventional means, bad or good. Demon deals or angels, soulless or scarred. Every goodbye had felt like the last, that this would be it. 

They somehow always made it back to each other, Sam and Dean, them against the world. 

But this was different. 

They were no longer heroes. Chuck was no longer writing their stories. They’d hit the end and it was over. Team Free Will. 

Free will. 

Free.

They were normal now, the regular run of the mill hunters. Writing their own stories. 

And normal people, even normal hunters, didn’t get resurrections. Didn’t get miraculous healings. They got a hunter's funeral, and sometimes, if lucky, a wake. Funny how life had a way to give you what you want when you need it least. Be careful what you wish for and all that bullshit. 

None of this was okay. 

He would be leaving Sam alone, again. This wasn’t supposed to happen, they were supposed to be happy. Now Sammy would be alone, without Dean. What were the chances he’d hit another dog and meet a girl? 

They’d fought hard for this, for freedom. 

He knew he was hurting Sam, badly. Dean would be the first to admit that they had an unhealthy codependency with each other. It was the whole reason this all had started, with his first deal to bring Sam back in Cold Oak and then going to hell, breaking the first seal. 

But then again, turns out it had all been scripted. 

That didn’t mean anything hurt less, though. He still loved Sam as much as he had then, and he knew Sam would be a mess after this. 

“I need you to tell me-- tell me it’s okay.”

His fingers had already gone numb, and there was a chill starting to settle in his bones. He needed to know it was okay to leave Sam, to leave now.

He also knew it wasn’t. It’d never be okay. But he just- he needed to hear it. Even if Sam had to lie about it. Dean couldn’t bear to leave otherwise. And he couldn’t stay. 

Sam’s face, tear stained and anguished, contorted in pain before he opened his mouth, and Dean relaxed just a tiny fraction. Yes, yes. It’d be a lie, but Sam would say it, and it’d be okay(not), and he could leave. Sam had always been the stronger of the two. 

“No.”

Dean startled, but not nearly as much as Sam, who flinched violently before whipping around. 

None of them had heard anyone come in, the barn doors were still locked. They hadn’t heard the rustle of wings either. For a moment, he thought he’d died. Dean had died without the last words. Without hearing it from Sammy. Or maybe he was hallucinating, last moments and life flashing before your eyes thing?

But then Sam made a strangled sound, and Dean knew he still had a few moments left. Maybe more. 

Castiel, powerful and magnificent and so so beautifully alive, was standing there. He was standing and he was staring, right at Dean, his eyes fierce in a way Dean had seen so many times. 

“Cass?” Sam asked tentatively, breaking the spell. His body trembled ever so slightly. 

Cass’ eyes moved over to Sam’s, holding his gaze for a split second before he nodded, and then he was striding towards them. 

“No,” he repeated, his voice firm, “It’s not okay. You do not get to go like this, Dean Winchester.”

He was standing right in front of Dean now, within reach. Sam was standing off to his left, his face lit up with so much hope it made his throat tighten. “C-Cass.”

“After everything you’ve been through, after everything you fought for?” Cass reached out and gripped one of Dean’s shoulders, “This is not how it ends.” 

With that he jerked Dean off the only thing that had been keeping him together. Sam made a sudden move, as if to catch Dean, or stop Cass, his face pinched and worried. But then he held himself still. 

Cass had Dean in an embrace, his face on Cass’ shoulder, propped up by his arms. One of Cass’ hands was on his back, on the wound. 

It reminded Dean of that time in Cold Oak, Sam dying in his arms, with a similar wound through his back. Except this time he wasn’t dying. Except this time, there was an angel instead of a demon and he could feel when Cass started healing him. 

Then Cass lifted him off himself, gripping his shoulders and looking into his eyes. The bone deep cold was gone, replaced by a familiar warmth that was so inherently Cass. 

Cass gave a final squeeze and then removed his hands. Dean only had a second to mourn the loss of touch before Sam practically barreled into him. His arms were tight around him to the point of pain, but he wasn’t about to complain. He could hear Sam sobbing. 

“Shh, Sammy, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.” He was crying too, and he didn’t know what to do. Castiel was alive, and he’d just saved his life, and maybe even saved Sam’s. 

After what felt like somewhere between a heartbeat and twenty lifetimes, Sam let go, turning to Castiel, who’d been watching patiently, his eyes soft and face warm. 

“Cass, you’re alive,” he stated, rather redundantly, before wrapping his arms around the angel. 

“Yes, well,” Cass said when they pulled apart, “Jack resurrected me. Again.”

“And-” Dean swallowed against the rawness in his throat, “And what about The Empty?”

He gave a smile, “Jack was able to put it back to sleep. It won’t be bothering anyone anytime soon. I think everyone was a happy party in that one.”

“That’s- that sounds great, Cass,” Sam said, his voice stronger now. “It’s… wow. I’m just…”

“Yeah, same,” Dean said, laughing a little hysterically. A few minutes ago, everything felt like it had been falling apart, all over again. And now? He had a little trouble believing it was true. And then he remembered the children, the reason they’d been here. The vampires. There could have been more, “Cass, the- the kids. We have to--”

“They’re safe.” 

Dean slumped in relief. It was over. This whole… case. It was over. 

“What’s next for you, Cass? Have you talked to Jack again since he brought you back to life?” Sam asked. 

At this, Cass’ smile dimmed a little, and Dean felt his heart sink. “I have. We’re working to make Heaven a better place right now. How it should always have been. That’s why I-” he hesitated, his eyes finding Dean’s, “That’s why I can’t stay.”

“Oh,” Dean didn’t know what to say. It wasn’t like Cass was dying again. He was actually doing what he’d always wanted to do; make heaven a better place. And now that he wasn’t dying either, and there weren’t any world ending, apocalyptic events happening, they didn’t need him. Not in the way heaven did. 

But then Sam, ever the optimist, asked, “But you’ll still visit, right? Come over to the bunker? Sometimes? We thought we’d lost you again, man. It’d be good to have you back. Even if it’s just every once in a while.”

At this, Cass’ eyes lit up too, and he smiled, “Of course,” he said, and it was a promise. “Of course I will.”

And just like that, things were okay. Actually okay; not a false, poor imitation to cocoon him, but the blissful awareness that things were right. They were okay. 

[farfallasunicas]

My Ocs

Let’s try this again Shall we!?

Kinsey Noelle

FC:   Melissa Benoist

Age: 24

Fandom:  Supernatural AU

 Pairings: N/A

Story:  Untiled

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13271863/1/An-Untitled-Supernatural-Story

A/n:  I haven’t written her in a while as I have no muse or inspiration for her at the moment.

Character Info:  Kinsey is the Nephilim   child of Mary Winchester and an unknown angel as well as the half-sister of Dean and Sam Winchester.   Due to her mother dying when she was born   she was adopted when she was a baby.   Her adopted Family named her Kinsey Noelle though her birth name was Noelle Rose Winchester.   Her adopted family kicked her out when she was 12 because they blamed her for not being able to protect her younger sister who got killed by a monster which Sam and Dean saved her from.  She then was raised by many hunters as she went into the life for revenge. When she is 24  her powers come into full power but  she has no idea what or who she is until Cass (spelling this was cause that’s how it is in the subtitles and Kripke said it’s that way so people wouldn’t think it was pronounce CAZZ)  tell her what she is. She then   moves into the Bunker and joins Sam and Dean in Hunting.

Madalyn Jaymes Winchester

a/n:  Madalyn will appear in stories at different ages as I was inspired for both so her info will show the same FC at different ages with different Bios!  There is no story for her right now but I’m working on some drabbles to see how people like her before writing more.  I’ll post my drabbles as soon as I can get to a computer as I have a hard time typing long things on mobile.

Younger

FC: Young Elle Fanning

Age: 5-8

Nicknames: Maddie or Mads

Fandom: Supernatural AU

Character info:   Madalyn is the half-sister of Sam and Dean.   Due to her reminding him so much of Mary, John took her in when her biological mother died.   She knows nothing of the Hunting life and thinks her Dad and brothers are just traveling mechanics or salesmen.    When Sam left for Stanford he wanted to take Maddie with him to give her a chance at a normal life and so she could go to good schools, however John refused.   Maddie and  Dean  secretly visit Sammy every  now and then and  Maddie often runs away  to Sam’s as she wants to stay with him when   her dad and  Dean are on a hunt instead of a hotel by herself or  with some random person John  knows.

Older

FC:  Present day Elle Fanning

Age: 17ish

Fandom: Supernatural AU

Story: TBA

Link: TBA

Pairing:  her and Jack  as best friends

Nicknames: same as younger

Character info:  Maddie now knows all about the hunting life and what her family does , but she doesn’t want to have any part of it, which Sam and Dean fully support.  She has been doing online school since she was 5 due to  moving around all the time, however when  they finally settled down in the Bunker as their home she finally convinced  Sam and Dean to let her go to public school. She was very close to Charlie when she was alive, considering her the older sister she always wanted. She is currently dating the most popular guy in school and is best friends with Jack though Dean is convinced that they have crushes on each other.

 Sarah Michele Puckerman

Fc: Bailee Madison

Age: 15-19

Fandom: Glee

Story title:  “A Thousands Cuts”

Link: TBA

Pairings: best friend/brother-sister relationship Blaine Anderson 

Friend: Kurt Hummel

Best friend in Wellwood: Kinsey  Rose (fc was Melissa Benoist in Glee)

Romantic relationship: Sebastian Smythe 

 Info: Sarah is honestly based on   a character I used to RP in @wellwoodrp with the URL of @saribearpuckerman (Still on as an archive if you want to read some of her interactions). This rp was an AU glee twin Rp that was a twist on the master/slave theme where characters like Sarah, Blaine, and Sebastian were residents and characters like Kurt, Kinsey and Joe were Residents.  I just loved her and couldn’t part with her even though I left the rp for personal reasons, especially the relationship she had with Blaine known as Blarah with @justbreatheblaine​.   At the time of the RP she was 15 but sticking to the time line she’d be about 19 right now. I’ll also post info from her bio from the rp as well.

 Character info: Sarah is from the small town of Wellwood.   She is the younger sister of Jake and Noah Puckerman and due to the fact that she doesn’t like the idea of servants she has a very strained relationship with her mother.    Sarah had to transfer to Crawford her sophomore year of high school due to bullying.    At Crawford she was in the glee club, even becoming the captain her senior year. She is dating Sebastian Smythe (who was bi in the rp) and is like a little sister to Blaine Anderson. His family is basically her 2nd family and she considers   Mrs. Anderson her 2nd   mom and refers to her as “Mama A” as she lived with them when her mother kicked her out. Blaine  was Sarah’s first crush (Before she knew he  preferred  princes to princesses as she put it) and   he was the first boy Sarah ever kissed ( Blaine has having a panic attack and Sarah didn’t know what to do so she kissed him like she saw in movies  hoping it’d calm him down).    People at Crawford and Dalton   assumed   that her and Blaine where biological siblings and often referred to her as Blaine's sister during introductions. The teachers would even address her as Miss Anderson. After a while Sarah just quit correcting them.    When she left Wellwood to go to College with the approval of Blaine and Mrs. Anderson after Blaine called her Miss Anderson when he wss getting on to her,she started using Anderson as her last name.

RP BIO for Reference

Sarah Puckerman was born Jan 1 and is 15 though she often acts mature for her age, though sometimes she acts like she is five years old.   Sarah is also a very sensitive person who hates disappointing people though she can sass you at any given moment she’s actually pretty shy until she gets to know you.  She is what’s known as a “girlie” tomboy.  She likes to dress up in girly clothes, but given the choice she would be out playing sports with her brothers or any of the other boys in the neighborhood or riding horses despite the fact that her mother would try to enter her into beauty pageants and threatened to put her in finishing school if she didn’t stop which has caused Sarah and her mother to have a very strained relationship.  Luckily for Sarah though neither one of her parents are around that much  and   a lot of times her Grandma Evie  is taking care of them who herself was a servant that married a resident and understands Sarah’s beliefs on  servants.

Sarah is very close with her brothers as their father abandoned them when they were younger, and their mother was too busy going to as many social events as possible. It was left up to Noah and Jake to look out for her, and in a way raise her, though she feels closer to Jake than she does Noah.  Since Noah often took the place of a father figure to Jake and Sarah, she often sees Noah more like a father.  In fact when she was little she often called him “Daddy puck”.   Jake however is her   Jakey bear and she is his Sari bear… names that are only known to the two of them.  If Sarah slips and says it in public, Jake acts like he honestly hates that name.

Sarah is also one of the nicest Residents or so she’s told.   She refuses to let servants call her miss, preferring Sari as it is a nickname and distances her from her family or Sarah. She does not give her Servants too many things to do, or anything too hard and often chooses to go against her family’s wishes and do her chores herself, occasionally asking her servants to help her with homework, or to come to her room to talk to her about things she’s not comfortable talking to her brothers or parents about.  Sarah also has a habit of making her friends   such as Blaine, Kurt and Kinsey honorary siblings. The Puckermans are also considered one of the poorer resident families.

☆ KEY TRAITS:   Tomboy acts girlie for her mother’s benefit, shy, sassy, sweet, adorable, outspoken, independent, sensitive, and brave.

☆ FEARS:   Storms, disappointing people,   that people will hurt her or leave her like her father if she lets them in.

☆ FACE CLAIM: Bailee Madison

 ☆ FAVORITES 

 »COLOR:  green

 »SEASON: Autumn and Winter

 » FLOWERS:  White Roses, Peppermint and Marble Poinsettias.

 » GUILTY PLEASURE:  Sweets!

[mrsmess]

Faves and fails of SPN (season 12):

Favorite episodes in chronological order:

12:3 The Foundry - Mylings! Nuff said. And I knew it as soon as I heard the baby cry. And that makes me feel good about me.

12:4 American Nightmare - Stigmata. Dean dressed as a priest getting stuck looking at a boy lighting a candle in the church. Mr Mess: ”Dean! Time and place!” Sam wasting his sensemaking on a relentlessly angry Dean as usual, but then laying the hard truth on the crazy lady - is it hot in here?

12:5 The One You’ve Been Waiting For - Nazi dirtbags! Referencing one of the great episodes of season 8 too. Good. Good. And Allison Paige is friggin’ beautiful! Nauhaus is such a spoofy villain I think this is a comedy. ”Do you know what it’s like to have en nazi necromancer as a father?” ”He had a guy named Fritz try to kill me!” GOLD.

12:6 Celebrating the life of Asa Fox - badass-intro. And Jody. Hunter community! Canadian hunter community! Here for it. Bucky, or as I like to call him: demon nr 5 from early season.... single digits.

12:7 Rock never dies - Loving this glam-metal thing. Crowley in LA. And omg! Cass being snarky with Dean of all people. ”Atleast I don’t look like a lumberjack.” I laughed. And Mr Mess pointed out that Cass is tired, that that’s why he snapped, and it dawned on me that Cass is *choosing* to be kind under normal circumstances. My heart! ”I work for sexists, rasists, even politicians.” Lol. Loving the group dynamic of the four. But I’m a bit disappointed that Lucifer can’t chill, he could have had so much fun.

12:11 Regarding Dean - A goofy Dean episode. That’s rarely bad news. I like Rowena in this, she’s rly growing on me.

12:15 Somewhere between heaven and hell - Honesty’s the best policy, signed, Dean. Hear, hear! ”So, ten years ago did you rly want something? Like, a Hello Kitty backpack or the death of an enemy?” Lol! Dean and Crowley and Lucifer breaking free! Dean is a hoot this episode. Sam, killing the hellhound like a pro, and thanking Crowley. And Crowley kicking Lucifer’s ass. That’s the stuff. And Sam being honest with Dean and Dean being all reasonable about it! Loving it!

12:16 Ladies drink free - Claire! Nuff said. Loving everyone this episode, except Mick of course, but my homicidal thoughts at the sight of his beard have lessened. ”The experiment was on mice.” Werewolf-mice! XD

12:17 The british invasion - Eileen! God this show needs more women, the brothers are so much better dealing w them, which I guess is a problem on its own. ”Make your voice a mail.” Oh Cass. Eileen and Sam! My heart! Am I shipping this? God I hope not, it’ll mean instant death. God, Mick is an idiot, I mean, I’m obv digging his change of heart, but apparently he hasn’t learned a thing in the entire life he’s worked for his fucky organization.

12:18 The memory remains - Goodness. Loving this intro. Taxidermist sheriff. Man, sometimes I feel these quirky characters are wasted on the just-passing-through format. ”Hunting people! Killing them! The family business!” Lol.

Fail episodes in chronological order:

12:1 Keep Calm and Carry on - ”You’re bad at your job.” Sure, she has a point, but as generous as this british chick’s offer is, her pitch is somewhat lacking. A torture montage is the quickest way to wind up on the fail list. Also ”break his mind”? That’s what it’s like inside Sam’s head *all* the time.

12:2 Mamma Mia - A sexscene featuring Dean Forrester is the second quickest way to wind up on the fail list. You say his name is Sam Winchester? Nah. Nope. Not buying it. Listen, I know I talk a tall game about being a big Sam-fan, I just don’t ship him with a.n.y.o.n.e. So what the sexscene isn’t real!? I still had to see it with my own orbs of sight. ”Your job was to find american hunters and gain their trust.” I’m howling! Maybe *you’re* rly bad at your job, lady!

12:10 Lily Sunder has some regrets - uhm... using demon number 5 to play other randos throughout a 15 season show I’ll forgive them for but you can’t use the same distinct actor (Ian Tracey) to play two distinctly different characters (Lee/Ishim) and not acknowledge it, especially when they could easily explain it as Lee’s body being possessed by Ishim. It ruins the whole episode for me. Also, I’m rooting for the ”bad” guy.

12:14 The raid - The british men of letters are the worst, they are worthless recruiting agents, salesmen and got crappy intel; where the Winchesters go the rest of the american hunters will follow? Pretty sure the opposite is true: ”Oh shit, the Winchesters are joining ’em? Better stay as far away from that shit as possible!” Also Mary’s being more than a little silly and I’m surprised Sam didn’t give her some speech about how he used to aim for big things like killing the devil, closing the gates of hell, before learning to settle for more realistic goals, like, staying alive, keepin your brother alive, savoring the occasional win, y’know, for the sake of your mental health. Anyhoo; Sam’s reaction on finding out Mary gave the Colt to the british men of letters might have been enough put it on the fave list but there are just so many icky characters and so many shots of Mick’s ugly beard I can’t let it slide. Plus Sam winds up joining these assholes. Boooohhhh!

12:20 Twigs & twine & Tasha Banes - Jeez. Petition to have Dean always justify his icky feelings about something w the Star Wars classic ”i got a bad feeling about this.” It would save time and my sanity. Also I have issues w Mary not being reasonable and understanding the basics about the life she and the boys are leading - you’re in or out, but there’s no finishing it w/o finishing yourself. Is this season’s big bad trying to annoy me to death? And the other hunters? What is it with this show and any other fun or awesome characters? Sorry, can’t keep ’em on, it’s a density-thing.

12:21 There’s something about Mary - Booohh! First Eileen, my bae (did I call it or did I call it?) and then the entire episode is full of The Big Annoying. First episode I didn’t bother finishing. Screw this season.

12:23 All along the watchtower - honestly I don’t get the constant jokes about IKEAs manuals, they’re all pictures, you don’t even need to be able to read to read them. Crowley <3 Plz spare me this show’s take on child birth, really just any show, (how is it possible that it’s so frickin’ hard to get right??), but especially this show’s. And Crowley. And Cass. And Mary. Such an intense bummer.

Honorable mentions:

Crowley blowing up Rowena’s scammer! And Rowena’s reaction! ”That is the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for me!” Covered in blood. Priceless.

Cass and his sass is on this season. He’s so done w everyone. The exasperation!

The hug at the end of 12:22.

Dishonorable mentions:

Dean and Sam making a deal to get out of jail, kinda unepic w a predictable outcome.

Mediocre mentions:

The entire episode Stuck in the middle (with you) - It’s a Reservoir Dogs reference right? And it works very well until you realize that, then you just start missing Tarantino’s poignant dialogue about tipping (not fucking!) your waitress. The return of the yelloweyed bloodline. Bound to happen with Mary back. Don’t care about that but I do care about Crowley being back and being awesome. The Dukes of Haphazard. That’s good, I’ve just been referring to them as the Two Stooges.

The episode Who we are - There are separate aspects of this I like: Dean and Sam blasting their way out of the bunker, Jody and Alex, Dean dreamwalking Mary back home. Ackles is a genius with this sort of thing. But it’s just so silly: The british men of letters are just so unepic, it ruins everything, wraps it in a mediocre blanket: They’re bad at their job, have inexplicable motivations, are such annoying stereotypes the only way this would be a win would’ve been if Sam’s speech went something along the lines of ”I’ve had this fly buzzin’ around my ear all year, I could use your help squashing it.” But at least, then they do.

Summing up:

I’m rly enjoying the warped relationships early in the season. Crowley and Cass. Rowena and Lucifer, Rowena and Crowley. Sam, Dean and Mary. But my usual creed about the gooey middles of seasons doesn’t hold true this time and I rly feel like it gets good only when it’s almost over. And honestly on whole the season is the worst so far. The british men of letters are so annoying and they’re everywhere, tainting everything. Ugh.

[mittensmorgul]

Hi. I really enjoy your blog and thank you for being so positive. All the negativity about last night's ep bothers me. I would love to see Dean/Cas finally have that big moment, but it wouldnt make for good story telling if we got it so easily. I have felt since s12...we are getting real personal growth! I also feel something big is coming for Dean/Cas with how they have kept them apart and all the emotional baggage getting adressed. There has been no hug either and there is so much unsaid. ❤

Yeah, I mean... I watch the show with the full knowledge that no matter how important Dean and Cas’s relationship is, even to the actual structure of the narrative, the way they’re writing the story and the actual focus of the main plot... will never focus that directly on destiel. This doesn’t mean I think destiel isn’t A Thing they are writing, just that Who Dean Is As A Person and Who Cas Is As A Person both take narrative precedence over the potential for a textual romantic relationship going forward for them.

I have no idea how to say that without sounding negative about it or drawing wank on it, which is why I don’t usually attempt to state it so blatantly in public. But I am 100% not negative about this. I’m just speaking about it from a narrative structure perspective here, which I’ve been yelling FOR LITERAL YEARS bears a close resemblance to the structure of 1001 Nights, and the Scheherazade/Shahryar relationship. Their romance is NEVER in the foreground of the tale, and yet somehow the entirety of 1001 Nights IS THE OVERARCHING STRUCTURE OF THEIR ROMANCE. Other aspects of the story are more pressing (like Scheherazade having sacrificed herself in the attempt to stop other women from being killed every morning, but not actually wanting to die herself because She Is Smart and Has A Plan and showed up with a buttload of awesome stories to slowly guide her plan to fruition). All those stories she weaves, in the gaps between them, she and Shahryar slowly fall in love. It’s not something they confess out loud, but it is something they both gradually begin to feel and to understand. Their interpersonal side-plot grows slowly, over 1001 actual nights of storytelling and companionship, and it takes nearly THREE YEARS of constant nightly stories, never letting one story end at the wrong time (at daybreak, when Shahryar might choose to kill her, but always timing it JUST RIGHT so that he’d ask for another story to fill the hours until dawn... which would inevitably be interrupted on a cliffhanger with words unspoken still between them... interrupting moose, anyone? That would be Scheherazade’s sister, Dunyazade, who accompanied her on what was supposed to be Scheherazade’s literal last night on Earth, but whose prompting and strategic interruptions actually furthered the romantic tension growing between Scheherazade and Shahryar, preventing their story from coming to an end too soon).

So while Scheherazade and Shahryar and their slow fall into love with one another is literally fundamental to the entire narrative, there was no way for any of it to pay off before the end of the larger narrative, you know?

If Scheherazade can patiently continue spinning out her stories, setting her own eventual (hopeful!) personal happiness aside because she sees the bigger picture at stake, then I can certainly wait until the end of Supernatural, however long it continues until its story is finally done.

Does this mean I’m saying that romantic love confessions and a clear, undeniable canon romantic relationship will factor in to the ending of the series? Nope. I have no guarantees to offer. But it does mean that as long as the show keeps factoring the fundamental importance of their relationship into the larger overarching narrative, as well as their own personal character arcs, and continuing to poke at it both through narrative mirrors and textually laying Big Questions for them out on the table, then I’m gonna be Scheherazade about it.

Every episode begins (emotionally, for me) with the Dread Pirate Roberts having spared Westley’s life because of True Love, and telling him “I’ll most likely kill you in the morning.” But then he doesn’t... and he continues not killing him, because it was all about true love. (yes, I’m saying the Princess Bride is a twist on the 1001 Nights narrative, at least insofar as The Dread Pirate Roberts persona goes. I mean... the parallel goes a lot deeper than this, into so much more of the metaphorical journey, the Hero’s Journey to prove himself worthy to his True Love, the quest for justice when he doubts the strength of that love to transcend death, after it was literally stolen away from him... I mean, this parallel also runs deep).

So that’s where we are with destiel. I’m perfectly 100% happy with that. Because I’m content to engage with the narrative they are actually presenting, and not delusionally projecting my own desire for Dean and Cas to just be happy now onto it in a way that it just does not exist in canon, you know?

All that said, YES. How long has it been since we’ve had a simple, “Hello, Dean.” Or even a HUG between them... since 13.06? YIKES THAT IS A WHILE. And we didn’t even get to hear the Hello, Dean at the end of 13.05 that we all yelled at the TV to fill that silent gap when Dean answered the phone and it was Cas calling him.

I choose to believe that the show is following their own unofficial theme song in this regard, though. They’ll be able to be happy at the end of the road. “There’ll be peace when you are done.” And until then, they’ve got a lot of road to cover, and a long way to go, and a lot of extraneous baggage to deal with. But they’re getting there, because they’ve always been headed there, even when they weren’t entirely sure where “there” was, you know?

But now we know Dean DOES know, at least in a general way. He’s not longing for a life that isn’t his anymore. He doesn’t feel cheated out of the white picket fence, apple pie life anymore. He’s made his own family (which absolutely does include Cas), and he recognizes there’s still work for them to do, but Dean himself is good with that. He’s in a strangely healthier place than he’s ever been in his whole entire life, including 4-year-old him who never knew death and fire and tragedy.

And that’s absolutely something to carry forward, wherever the road may lead.

And that’s also why I’ll eternally be frustrated with fandom bitterness over the literal structure of the entire narrative. I mean, this is not gonna change. This is the main story they are telling, and how they’re telling it. I only hope that being able to get some perspective on that will help people keep all of this in mind and truly appreciate the beauty of it all. This is why I personally feel this has the potential to be the greatest love story ever told, because it’s so much more than just an angel falling from heaven and raising a man from hell, and then meeting in the middle. It’s about BOTH of them, their choices, their failures and successes, and this entire process of understanding who they are in the larger structure of the universe, and who they could potentially be to one another.

And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

[squirrel-moose-winchester]

Chapter 2

Title: Falling for the Holidays

Pairing: Dean x Reader AU

Word Count: 2241

Summary: With October ending and the holidays underway, that only meant one thing for Dean Winchester. It meant returning to his childhood home and spending time with his family. It meant listening to his parents, especially his mom, ramble on and on about when he was going to find himself a nice girl, bring her home for the holidays, and then eventually get married and have children.  However, Dean wasn’t ready for that sort of commitment, so in order to get his family off his back, he comes up with an elaborate scheme! But like the saying goes, “sometimes lies become truths.”

Warnings: There isn’t really any. Maybe some fluff and crack. A little bit of tooth aching friendship goals? Definitely has some explicit language.

A/N: Here we go, chapter 2! I hope it doesn’t disappoint. I’m a little happy with this one, but I don’t know. I’ll let you be the judge. Anyways, thank you so much to everyone who had nice things to say about the first chapter, as well as those who asked to be tagged. It makes me feel like that maybe I can really do this whole “write a series” thing. You guys are awesome!

Also, if you want to be tagged in the series, shoot me an ASK :)

Series Masterlist

Dean heavily trudged his way to your apartment, taking the elevator to your floor, and using the spare key you’d given him to open the door. You were in your tiny kitchen cooking breakfast in nothing but a large shirt that he recognized as his, and legs bare. Your hair was in a messy bun and you had on your nerd glasses, as he liked to call it.

“Morning,” he breathed out in a low tremble, dropping his bag on the hardwood floor and slumping onto the bar seat and watching you scramble eggs on the stove.

You peeked up at him, knowing that there was something really bothering him. “Whoa, what’s got you in a mood?” Dean looked like shit. His shirt disheveled and wrinkled, his jacket inside out, and his hair still styled in his favorite bedhead look.

“My brother…” Dean groaned, snatching a piece of bacon and taking a bite, crumbs falling all over him. “He called me after I dropped you home and well... were on the phone till real late. He called me after our mom bombarded him with all kinds of crap about me bringing home a girl and settling down. I mean, c’mon! I’m only 24, what’s the rush? I don’t get why they are in such a hurry for me to find someone. I get it, they were young when they started a family, but I’m not them. Some relationship isn’t as easy as there’s, and some people just don’t find their soulmate that quick! I’ll find her. And when I do, I know that I’ll know she’s the one. Lisa… she wasn’t the one for me.”

You were a little surprised at his outburst, particularly the bit of information you had never heard before. Dean was always the kind of guy who didn’t like to talk about the past, especially when it was a hard one to burry. His past relationship seemed to all end up bad, and this was the first time you’ve ever heard of a… Lisa.

There was dead silence. Dean was a little taken aback himself, shocked that he brought up a woman he never wanted to think about ever again. Lisa… Dean thought she was it. Been together for three years when shit hit the ceiling and they broke up. She was the reason he went to college so far away.

“Hey, why don’t you just bring home a fake girlfriend,” you joked, hoping to ease the tension and change the subject.

Dean let out a soft chuckle, thankful for the attempt to lighten things up. “Hey, that’s a good idea!” He smiled. “I’ll find myself a fake girlfriend! Ask her to be my date and then when the holidays are over, I’ll be a free man once again!” All the tension was gone and Dean was back to his merry self.

“Dude, you know that I’m only kidding right?”

“No, no. That’s actually a good idea!”

“Dean! You’d be lying to your family. You can’t really just ask someone to help you con your family into believing that the two of you are in love. They’ll see right through you! Unless…” you paused.

“Unless what?” Dean was practically sitting at the edge of his seat, eager to know what you had in mind.

“You could take Cass with you and pretend your gay?” The look on Dean’s face was classic, making you burst into laughter.

“Not funny. You’re so not funny,” he hissed, his expression in bitch-face mode.

“Don’t lie. It was kind of funny,” you stated, turning off the stove and shoving the eggs on a plate.

“Not by a long shot.” Dean mumbled, separating some of the bacon onto the plate with the eggs and some of the eggs onto the plate with bacon. You always had a thing for using the least amount of dishes as possible. It was a quirk of yours and you weren’t sure where you had gotten it or when it had started, but you figured that you just like the idea that in the end, it would be less work to do later.

After breakfast, you and Dean strolled towards campus, Dean carried your bag the entire walk there. Jo, Misha, and Meg, who you were surprised to see, were all waiting for you at the courtyard, chatting and seemingly having a good time. Jo was scowling, Meg was smirking at her, and Cass looked completely over it. It seemed about right.

“Looks like Cass is having fun,” Dean said, making you laugh.

“So much fun. Look at that face,” you spat, Dean joined in on your laughing, seeing the unpleasant look on Cass’s face. “Hey guys,” you greeted, hugging Jo before waving and smiling at the others.

“Thank God you’re here!” She whispered, “Talk about an awkward pair. They make me feel so uncomfortable.”

“Oh c’mon,” you giggled, “they can’t be that bad.”

“You don’t know what bad is!” Jo gave you a suggestive look.

“Wow, never thought Morticia could leave Gomez. The two of you were so in love,” Dean teased.

“Shut up, Dean.” Cass gave his friend a pointed look. “Anyways, why do you look like you woke up on the other side of the bed of a homeless man?”

“Jeez, Cass. I don’t look that bad!”

“Your jacket is inside out,” Cass pointed out. Dean groaned, setting your bag and his on the ground while he fixed his jacket. “Your hair is sticking up in all directions,” Cass continued, eying Dean’s golden brown locks, while Dean grumbled under his breath, ruffling his hair, doing his best to make it decent, “And you somehow turned into Y/N’s little bitch.”

Dean gave Cass a pointed look, unimpressed with his attempt to torment him. “I did not. I am nobody’s bitch.”

“You were carrying her bag,” Cass revealed. Even you hadn’t noticed.

“Yeah, well… it’s called chivalry. You should try it sometimes.”

Cass just glared back at his friend and vice versa, until they were interrupted. “Well, I need to head to class,” Meg announced, leaning in to give Cass a chaste kiss on the cheek. “See you later Clarence.”

You, Dean, and Jo just stood there and watched. Did she just call him Clarence? Jo wasn’t kidding when she said they were an awkward couple. You just hoped that you never got the chance to be alone with them.

“Dude, did she just call you Clarence?” Dean questioned. “And you let her?” he added. “Dude, and you say that I’m Y/N’s bitch? Dude, goth-girl’s got you wrapped around her fingers and toes. Is she that good in bed?” He harassed.

“She says it’s a nickname,” Cass defended. You and Jo laughed some more while Dean smiled, his body doing the chuckling for him. “Whatever, I have to get to class,” the blue eyed man huffed.

“See you later, Clarence,” you and Jo sang in unison.

Cass gave them his own version of a bitch face before pivoting away, making you and Jo laugh harder. “He is so easy to tease? Why is that?” Jo asked. “Anyways, I’ve got a group thing for my Psych class, so I’ll see you guys later.”

“Have fun,” you smiled, giving her another hug before she left.

Dean hit her in the back of the head, which made her retaliate back by smacking him on the cheek, their little tussle escalating quickly. “Dean!” She shouted, her hair a mess and draping all over her face.

“See you later short-stack,” he smirked.

“You are so annoying,” Jo snorted before storming off.

“Jeez, you guys fight like siblings,” you commented.

“We practically are. Me, Jo, and my brother Sammy were really close. Still are.”

“I can see that.”

Not having any classes for the day, you and Dean headed to the library. You needed to work on a term paper and Dean had to study for a test. Just as you reached the building, Dean’s phone started playing Michael Jackson’s Thriller, the ringtone he claimed was necessary for the Halloween spirit. You watched him pull out the device from his back pocket and groaned when he checked the screen.

“It’s my mom. Go ahead inside and I’ll be in soon.” You nodded at his instructions, entering through the double doors with both yours and his bags.

The bags fell heavy on the table, the resounding sound catching the attention of everyone in the room, including the librarian, who glared at you with disdain. You shrugged your shoulders muttering a soft apology around the room.

From where you were sitting, you could see Dean pacing and using his free hand to make big and fervent gestures as he spoke. He didn’t seem very happy, and from what you could tell, his brows were tense and low, nose flared, and mouth in a noticeable frown, jaw clenched so hard it seemed like his jaw would break.

Trying to distract yourself until Dean made his way by your side, you decided to get some work done. When you set your pencil down and raised your head, you were still sitting alone and he was no longer in view outside. Panic over took you and you bolted out of the library, knowing your homework and things would be safe, besides, the library had cameras everywhere.

“Dean? You called out, scanning the area for him. “Dean?!”

Little far ways, you found him sitting on a table, his shoulders slumped, with his elbows on his knees, one hand cradling the phone and the other raking through his thoroughly tousled hair. As you approached him, the closer you got, you could hear the distant mumbling.

“Mom, please. I know all you want is what’s best for me, but just trust me. That’s all I want. Even if I never get a girl, that doesn’t mean I’m sad or lonely. Can you just be patient? Please? For me?”

“Dean?” Your voice was soft as you took a seat beside him. He flashed you an apologetic smile, bringing up his pointer finger to his lips, silently telling you to keep quiet, however it wasn’t in a rude way. You nodded in response and nestled beside him, close enough that you could easily make out a female voice on the other side and what she was saying.

“Dean, I’ve arranged a date with a friend of mine’s daughter. She’s cute, sweet, and—”

“Mom, no. Please. I don’t want—I won’t.”

“What do you mean you wont? You will!” His mother barked back.

“Mom, please! I’m not looking for a relationship right now. I just want to finish school. Is that too much to ask?”

There was a heavy sigh. “Sweetheart, fine. What about a compromise? If you go out on one date, just one, with my friend’s daughter, I’ll drop my pestering for the rest of the year.” You looked over at Dean, giving him a thumbs up. You figured one date wouldn’t hurt anybody.

Dean shook his head side to side in response to you, and you crossed your arms pouting childishly. Your green-eyed friend smiled before paying attention to the conversation he was having with his mother.

“No, mom.”

“Why not? I promise, just one date and I’ll stop.”

“No mom, because I already have a girlfriend!” Dean blurted.

“What?!” You shouted at the same time his mom did through the phone.

“Dean, who was that? Is that her? Can I talk to her? I’ll be good, I promise!” Dean’s mom, begged.

“Mom, no. That’s not her. Just a friend I’m studying with,” Dean explained.

“Fine. Just make sure you bring her home for the holidays! I would love to meet the woman that snatched my sweet little man—”

“Mom!” Dean whined with embarrassment.

“Alright, alright. I’ll call again later. I love you Dean.”

“Love you too mom,” Dean smiled, unable to resist the warmth encasing his heart.

Just as Dean pressed the end button, his arm was suddenly assaulted by your fist. “Dude!”

“Ow,” Dean cried, coddling his arm with his free hand. “What the hell?”

“You don’t have a girlfriend!” You hissed.

“I know. That’s why I’ll need to find one fast,” Dean groaned, swiping his hand down his face.

“You just got yourself in deep shit, Winchester,” you scolded.

“It was your idea. You’re the one who put it in my head, and I just panicked!”

“Dammit, you are so lucky I love you and that I am the bestest, yeah, I said bestest, friend in the entire planet!” You hissed, poking his chest. “And because I am the nicest person you’ll ever know, I’ll help you find a nice girl to bring home to mama,” your expression quickly changed, winking over at Dean.

Dean shuddered at your choice of phrase. “First off, don’t ever say ‘bring home to mama’ ever again, and secondly… man, you’re weird.” Dean gave you a look that mildly resembled that of disgust.

“Oh please! That’s why you love me!” You wrapped your arm around his neck, lowering him to your level and ruffling his hair.

“Dude, dude! Do you know how long it took me to get my hair just right?” He joked.

“You’re an idiot,” you giggled, letting him go. Dean smiled down at you, appreciating the fact that he had a friend like you.

“Wingman?” He asked.

“The best there ever was… for my sweet little man!”

“Oh my god, shut up!” Dean laughed, lightly shoving you away.

Say Something Nice Here!

Falling for the Holidays Tags: @hannahindie @pinknerdpanda @winchesterprincessbride @amanda-teaches @dancingalone21 @a-winchester-fairytale @dolphincliffs @oneshoeshort @brewsthespirit-blog @jerkbitchidjitassbutt @atc74 @natasha-baggins @heavymetalhauswife @linki-locks11 @spnwoman @veevm @chameleah86 @kdcollinsauthor @claitynroberts @roonyxx @rainflowermoon @ladylaylo @closetspngirl

[kazashiniwielder]

So now that it’s father’s day, I’m going to do a ‘Dad’ post for Sam and Dean. They don’t have as many father figures as mother figures, but they are important too. So here are my favorite fathers in Supernatural, specifically to Sam and Dean.

John

John is a touchy subject with many, but he is still the boys father. Yes, he failed the boys in some aspects, but it is also important to note that he did what he could and he really did love Sam and Dean. Before Mary’s death, he appeared to be an awesome father, and even afterwards he was still trying to protect the boys in his own way, like keeping them separated from Azazil for as long as he could. Like Dean said, he isn’t going to win any father of the year awards, but he was their Dad and they still love him.

Bobby

Sam and Dean’s adopted father. They stayed with Bobby a lot growing up, and Bobby saw them as boys, like they were. He even took Dean out to throw a baseball instead of target practicing because he was a kid and needed to act like a kid. Bobby was a good influence on Sam and Dean and he was there for them when they needed him. He took them in after John died and had been by their side every day until his soul was finally laid to rest. Bobby cares about them a lot, even getting mad at his friend Rufus for implying that the boys aren’t his.

Jim Murphy

So while we don’t actually see them interact, we know Jim was a father like figure to Sam and Dean. When the boys weren’t hunting with John, or at Bobby’s, then they were at Jim’s. We saw Dean and Sam each call Jim in the first season when they needed some help, and we know when Sam got attacked by the striga, John took them to Jim’s. Jim also cares about Sam and Dean, enough that he was willing to die to keep John’s location a secret from Meg because it would endanger Sam and Dean as well. Sadly, Jim is one of those characters that we heard much more about then ever got to actually see.

Sonny

This one is exclusively Dean, since Sam didn’t meet Sonny until much much later. Sonny had Dean in his home for two months. He trusted 16 year old Dean enough to make him the foreman on his farm after a month, and he cared about Dean’s welbeing. He gave Dean advice and worked hard to get the charges of shoplifting dropped from Dean. Then he was willing to stick out his neck and fight to have Dean stay on his farm and live with him. Dean tells Sam he hardly remembers Sonny’s, but everyone knows both in universe and out of universe that Dean’s stay at Sony’s was very important and special to him. When Sonny called for help Dean was ready to go racing to New York that minute to help him. It’s clear the two have remained in contact and still care about each other a lot.

Honorable mentions of awesome Dad’s in Supernatural

These three idiots and their nephelium son. Cas is defiantly Jack’s dad without question. Unlike Lucifer, Cas was there to protect Jack. Sam and Dean are a little more controversial, but Jack has said Sam and Dean are also his dad’s, and other characters have called them his dad’s so it is official.

While Cass and Sam have only been seen in a ‘dad’ role for Jack, we have seen Dean in a parental role much more often. Mostly to Sam, Ben, and Jack, but there were other kids too. Lucas, Timmy, Todd, Krissy, Claire, Alex, and even to an extent the boy Michael, Bobby John, and baby Amara. Dean is really good with kids over all. Even kids that he hadn’t had the best relationship with, especially in the beginning, like Kevin, Claire, Kaia, and Jack have all come around to actually liking and trusting Dean.

Bill Harvelle

While we never actually see him and never get to meet him, there is no question that he was a great dad, at least as far as Ellen and Jo are concerned. Jo wanted to be a hunter because she wanted to be like him. She carried around his knife and she looked up to him as her hero.

Henry Winchester

I debated putting him on this list, because I sure as hell am NOT putting Samuel Campbell on it. While I don’t think he was the greatest grandfather, looking down on Sam and Dean for being hunters and willing to risk Sam and Dean never being born in order to return to John; he did redeem himself in the end and he was a very caring father to his son John. After all, if there is anything that Supernatural has in spades it’s fathers who have made serious mistakes. Henry was thought to have abandoned his son, but in reality got sent forward in time and died to protect his two grandsons. He was a good man, a man who learned where his flaws were and tried to fix them for the better of his family. He loved and cared about John so much, so that is why I put him on here.

Unfortunately Supernatural doens’t exactly have a long line of amazing fathers. Chuck is canonly a terrible father, Crowley and Gavin don’t have a positive relationship until after they are both dead and their spirits are twisted and damaged. Samuel Campbell didn’t really care what Mary wanted for her life and he was an even worse grandfather then he was a father. None of the other characters have sold out their family to demons and stood by watching as one was dragged off to be eaten by monsters. I swear one of the running themes of this series is shitty fathers. However that doesn’t mean there aren’t any awesome ones, like 99% of the fans all pretty much agree Bobby was an amazing father figure. Anyway, Happy father’s day.

[hippychick006]

4.14 - Sex and Violence

I’m going to call this the episode that hellers should watch a hell of a lot more closely.  This is a very long post but there’s so much going on in this episode that can’t be summarised and I want to capture it all so I’ll put it under a cut this time.

Dean wakes up and Sam’s not in bed, but in the bathroom whispering on the phone.  It couldn’t look more like Sam’s having a secret affair if they tried, which he kind of is, going off with Ruby.

Did Sam just call Dean kiddo?  Dude, he’s four years older than you and thirty!

Sam’s puppy eyes and “please” work on the guy they are interviewing who bludgeoned his wife to death in the opener with a meat tenderiser, so he tells them about the stripper he was going to run off with.

Sam goes to speak to the Dr involved in the case and oh my God, Dr Cara has dark hair, and if you change the last two letters, we get Cass!  Definitely hinting at Sastiel which is totally end game (me if I was a heller).

Dr Cara asks to see Sam’s badge again which he shows with a lot more confidence than when he was a bikini inspector in the early seasons. He also looks like an FBI agent instead of a kid just out of high school.   My bby is growing up

Hellers need to watch this episode if only because the doctor explains what oxytocin is - which explains why Destiel is not now and never will be canon because there is absolutely zero attraction between Dean and Castiel. I don’t even think Castiel;s body would release any hormones.

Dean walks in and Dr Cara brushes him off and goes back to speaking to Sam. Heh.  Later Dean accuses Sam of c-blocking him.  No Dean, she’s just into Sam and given your brother is really smoking hot, it should happen a lot more often than it does.  Dean quickly cheers up though as they seem to be on a case involving strippers, finally.

They figure out through a phone call with Bobby - and how did the Winchesters cope before him? - that they are dealing with a siren.

The strippers are named after Disney princesses: Ariel, Aurora, Jasmine and next up Belle.

Hellers, this line (which Sam says to Dean in the strip club) will be important later in the episode:  “Yeah. You see, sirens can read minds. They see what you want most and then they can kinda, like, cloak themselves. You know, like an illusion.”

Remember it looking like Sam was having an affair earlier in the episode?  Now Dean’s checking through Sam’s phone to see who he called.  He dials a number he doesn’t recognise and it’s Ruby.  Dean’s pissed.  When Sam returns and Dean tells him he forgot his cell phone, Sam looks guilty.  Oh show.

They find out from Bobby that to kill the siren, they need some of his venom which may be in the blood of the guys so they go back to the hospital.  Sam and Dr Cara flirt and Dean rolls his eyes.

FBI man, Nick Munroe’s arrived and incidentally, the actor, Jim Parrack, is listed as the same height as Jared on google.  I liked Jim’s role in this, quality guest stars in both Cara and Jim.

Nick phones the number on Sam’s FBI card to check their credentials and we see that Bobby has a list of phones covering Federal marshals, FBI, CDC, police and health inspectors which is a nice little detail.

Sam persuades Dean to work with Nick to get him out of the way so that Sam can get the blood samples.  Dean agrees, but he’s not doing it for Sam, he’s doing it for the girls.

Sam finds the blood gone.  Switch to Dean who is bonding with Nick in the strip club.  Nick hands over an evidence bag containing a flower which he says was found at each crime scene.  Dean recognises the flower from Dr Cara’s office.

Cut to Sam and Cara talking about the case, and Cara says at one point: “Come on. Haven't you ever been in a relationship where you really love somebody and still kinda wanted to bash their head in?  ”I’m thinking yes, Dr Cara and that person is his brother.

Dr Cara offers Sam a drink and for the first time in Sam’s history, he accepts (he’s normally the one stopping Dean from taking things - like the Carrigan’s offering peanut brittle in A very Supernatural Christmas episode.

Dean calls and Sam rejects the call.  

Sam and Dr Cara get it on and that’s twice Sam’s been shirtless this season.  I mean if I’d worked as hard as Jared to get that body, I’d want to show it off a little too. 

Sam returns to the motel - and we get a beautiful shot from behind of what appears to be a freshly showered Sam walking down the corridor to the room.  Velma Dinkley is right, those shoulders...

Dean’s not in the room so Sam calls him.  There follows a whole conversation which I can’t do justice to, but basically Dean tells Sam he thinks the siren is Dr Cara.  Sam tells him he doesn’t think it is.  Dean asks Sam if he slept with her, which Sam denies and we get this from Dean: “Holy crap. You did. Middle of Basic Instinct and you bang Sharon Stone? Sam, you could be under her spell right now!” and also this one, “No, It's just...first it's Madison, and then Ruby, and now Cara. It's like... what is with you and banging monsters?” 

Upshot of the conversation is that Dean doesn’t trust Sam and he’s going to finish off the case himself.  I love Dean, I do, and I’d love to say he’s already under the siren’s spell during all of this, but he’s not.  My bitter Sam girl is starting to rise up and Season 4 only gets worse from here on out.  

The only consolation I have is that Sam looks smoking hot during that entire conversation.  Jared really suits the dark suit and the open necked shirt look.

Sam throws his phone after that conversation and I think we’re supposed to see this as Sam becoming angry and unable to control it.  I’d have thrown my phone too after that conversation so try harder on the anger front show.

Dean phones Bobby and asks for his help and then Nick to help him with the case and they start following Dr Cara.

Dean tells Nick his crazy theory, and asks Nick to just trust him on that.  To Dean’s surprise and delight Nick agrees.  Dean says. “Thank you. That's actually nice to hear.”

They share a drink from Dean’s hip flask which is a bad move on Dean’s part, because Nick then says Dean should have wiped the flask before drinking, revealing he’s the siren.  

Hellers, this next line is also important: “ I should be your little brother. Sam. You can't trust him. Not like you can trust me. In fact, I really feel like you should get him outtta the way, so we can be brothers. Forever.”

Sam’s been out - not sure where - and when he returns to the motel, he sees Nick sitting on the bed.  He asks what he’s doing there but gets jumped from behind and pulled back against the door with a knife to his throat by Dean.  Sam quickly figures out that this is not normal behaviour - even for Dean - and accuses NIck of being “one butt ugly stripper.”

Sam doesn’t struggle in Dean’s arms too much and I got to say he looks kind of comfortable where he is.  Sam tries to appeal to get through to Dean, but Nick shows Dean is under his control by getting him to cut Sam’s neck a little.

Hellers, this next line is again important.  When Sam accuses Nick of poisoning Dean, Nick answers: “No. I gave him what he needed. And it wasn't some bitch in a G-string. It was you. A little brother that looked up to him, that he could trust.”   The episode could not hammer this home more clearly, how on earth do you all misinterpret the hell out of this episode?

Nick sprays Sam’s mouth with venom and I’m only slightly disappointed he didn’t get closer to Sam to do it.  Honestly, Jim and Jared only had a couple of scenes but they were good ones and I love when Nick beckons Sam forward and he just goes.

There follows a brilliant scene between Sam and Dean with lots of hurtful things being said between them (again it sounds more like Dean’s accusing Sam of having an affair than anything else).    

My favourite line during this is from Sam and the delivery was perfect: “You're too busy sitting around feeling sorry for yourself. Whining about all the souls you tortured in hell. Boo hoo.”

BROTHER FIGHT!  And we should have more of these, if for the only reason that Jared and Jensen are seamless in the fight choreography when it’s between the two of them.  

Dean wins the fight, by crashing Sam through the motel door and it’s interesting the only time I can remember Sam winning is when he was hopped up on demon blood.    

Sam��s lying winded on the door, Dean grabs a conveniently located emegency axe and goes to swing it.  

Bobby’s arrived!  And just in the nick of time.  He stops the axe and stabs Dean to get some infected blood and to Sam’s anguished cries of “no!”, he throws the knife at a rapidly retreating Nick, killing him. 

That shot of Sam on the floor at the end of the scene :(

At the end of the episode, they both say they didn’t mean the things they said:

SAM: 'Kay. So... so we're good?

DEAN: Yeah, we're good.

Narrator’s voice: They were not good.

What I am going to point out loud and clear for the final time, is that for all four men, the woman appeared as a stripper and they thought they loved her so the relationship was clearly sexual.    For Dean, his siren is a representation of his brother.

Coming up, Sam and Dean go to couple therapy.  (Which I’ll come back to in episode 4.18 (The Monster at the end of this book).

If it’s not clear, I loved this episode, even with all the brother angst - ok, if I’m going to be completely honest, especially with all the brother angst.

Next up Death Takes a Holiday.