#also i might be getting a job soon :(
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You doing ok?
hi
#i'm alive. simply being chewed upon by multiple things#work is more stressful than i'd like it to be. for instance i'm hoping that i submitted my time off notification for tomorrow correctly#because otherwise it might read as a no call no show and i would . like to continue having a job#now to be fair. i do have it on the system that i requested it at the beginning of the month and i emailed my supervisor about it last week#so even if i didn't submit it correctly i'm likely in the clear#but nonetheless. i also got a firm talking-to the other day and now i am on ✨thin ice✨ for dicking around too much#because they track ur idle time at my work (computer) and mine was Quite High so my supervisor was like man what the hell is this#but even though she was kind of baffled at me spending so much time dicking around#she couldn't even really be all that mad in the end because i'm still doing good numbers and have made no (zero) mistakes#so she was just like. it's kind of impressive that your numbers look this good when you literally have 50% idle time#so she goes imagine what you could do if you weren't wasting so much time#and yeah i can whip out some Really Good Numbrers when i put the effort in.#so the problem is not my numbers it's just that i'm not spending long enough doing my tasks for the day#but i don't want to drag out those tasks intentionally so i've just been upping my own standards/goals#as much as i hate giving any more of my brain power than is necessary to giant corporations#it's still easy to feel smug after you get Talked To and then immediately turn around and show off#like yeah i coulda been doing this good the whole time. literally pulling up by 20 points. i just didn't want to.#trying to keep everyone's expectations low but accidentally toed the line of um. not working enough to keep my job#...anyway. EAS national weather system issued a . hi#i haven't forgotten about all of you i'm just having trouble tracking all my shit that i got going on ✨ yaaaaaaay#im gonna post things on AO3 soon. i promise. my weakness is that i get sidetracked trying to unwind from work#...i know i said 'soon' last time. but this time for real#asks#not sexy#anonymous
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Can you please pretty please do lots of Horangix reader?? Headcanons, nsfw, whatever, I don't care I need some more Horangi omg
Love your headcanons by the way
aw tysm!! it encourages me to keep writing him bc im not sure if ppl read fics abt him as much as i like to <33 and ofc, here's a sfw alphabet for now, i'll keep writing him in my other hcs too
𓆩♡𓆪 Horangi SFW Alphabet
𖧧 template here
A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)
That man is loud about it, showy with it, flaunting you and loves intensely.
He doesn't necessarily tell you he's head over heels for you, but he loves showing you how much he loves touching you, caressing you, and wants to be draped all over you. Seriously, his hands never leave you.
B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)
He's the friend you know you're going to have the best time of your life with. Even if his idea of fun can be a little reckless and dangerous you know you can trust that nothing bad will ever happen.
C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)
He can't just lie there, he has to be touching you constantly. Smooth gliding his hands over you, following your body like a map. OOOH, I hc he has tattoos and adores it when you trace them, all over his thick, muscly arms and back. All in mutual, enjoyable silence.
D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)
Yeah he does, I can't imagine him cooking much other than simple meals. Like you know, when he's hungry and you're busy so you can't cook for him. He can make the simplest things taste the best tho, like for some reason his eggs are so appetizing.
Y'all imagine him in an apron with nothing underneath but boxers and tell me you wouldn't breed that man.
E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)
It would have to be on your own accord because it would take a LOT for him to get over you, he would never be able to forget you. He'd take the last chance he'd have memorizing you, the way you feel under his palm, the way you taste on his lips, the feelings you've ignited, the memories you've gifted him, and so on. Would truly try to make you stay and not leave, placing heated and passionate kisses just like the first time he'd been graced by your lips. Just know you'll receive constant phone calls and messages from him.
F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)
He's with you most of the time, and if being married means you'll live together with no restrictions then he's all in. Pulling out the ring soon.
G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)
He loves aggressively but can be gentle when he pleases in small gestures on the day to day basis.
His emotions don't differ much from the regular, and on the rare chance that he's not teasing you he won't say a thing. Just sitting next to you and lifting you up to sit on his lap. More because he needs it, holding you when he's softer.
H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)
Sneaks up behind you and tickles your sides before hugging you. Sometimes he'll "pounce" on you and hold you tight in his arms, it makes you all giggly and squirming which makes him grin. Likes feeling as if he has you trapped within his arms, that nothing can take you away from him and you're secure with him.
I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)
Maybe in a moment when he's lost in ecstasy, in an ardent moment. A feeling that just so happens to be aligned with someone he can be sincere towards, not something everyone has and doesn't happen twice in a lifetime. In short he says it while you're having sex. And he'll keep whispering it against your ear, murmuring it against your skin, breathing it against your lips.
J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)
Idk you tell me from this scenario:
He watches from a few paces back as someone talks to you, except he doesn't like their body language towards you. He comes closer to stand behind you, eyeing the other person suspiciously, and just rolling his eyes and sighing exasperatedly. Visibly in a bad mood which usually scares off the other person.
Yeah, he can be quite possessive (not in a toxic way). Let me explain, he likes calling you his but not in an object is mine kind of way, instead you're his for only him to give you that special love of care no one else could give, his to tend to.
K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)
When he has you enveloped in a hug from behind, he'll start placing small kisses on your nape until his lips are barely parting from your skin and he's moved down to your shoulders, keeping his mouth so close as he murmurs into your skin.
Once he captures your mouth in a kiss, it'll be a while before you can catch your breath as your chest heaves. Longing to feel your lips on his as he desperately kisses you that he almost merges with you. Holding you closely, encasing your body against a couch, wall or whatever as he leans over you, breath caressing your lips for a mere moment as his eyes connect with yours. He's observing you with passion burning in his eyes, both of you watching one another trying not to be the first to give in.
L = Little ones (How are they around children?)
He likes children enough to ruffle his friend's kid hair playfully, maybe calm a crying baby at a grocery store, spoiling a niece/nephew or cousin he's babysitting.
M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)
Won't let you out of bed until he's kissed you, held you, felt you. So rushed mornings are a no for him, he greatly dislikes them. The type to set the alarm earlier than when he has to get up just to enjoy having you next to him. Knows when you wake up from subtle body signs, a change in your breathing rhythm, feeling as you burrow closer into him, your hands wrapping around his torso seeking that comfort as he relishes in it.
N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)
Night is the only time he can unwind and catch up on some much needed rest. Sometimes you joke and call him and old man for his remedies but you end up helping him relieve his back or knee pain, loosen his knotted muscles, or massage him after he's gone hard on a work out.
O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)
Maybe when he knows the probability of marriage is around the corner. He starts getting pretty serious because he'll want you to know his faults before your relationship deepens. Things are revealed as you go, he wouldn't drop a bomb on you either.
P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)
It's pretty hard for you to actually anger him, most of the time when you're nagging at him he'll just piss you off more by having a smug grin or smirk on his face. Most you'll do is annoy him at which he feels the need to annoy you more when getting back at you. He avoids giving you looks but will always have a bothersome look in his eyes, sighing loud enough to irritate you and giving you smart comebacks to any question you direct at him.
Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)
I'm sorry but I feel like he tends to be forgetful about some things. Like on the first date he makes such a conscious effort to remember which flowers you like best, what food you prefer and such that on the way back home he's repeating these things over and over again so he won't forget.
R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)
This one date that went kinda wrong because the car broke down on a backroad with barely any cars or people to come by. It was late at night too, but you both sat on the hood of the car, gazing at the starry night sky and just talking. The ambience felt so different, there was no logic in the words you exchanged as you talked the night away yet you were on the same wavelength. It was hours before someone passed by and were able to provide transportation but neither of you had taken notice of the time that had passed.
S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)
He don't keep up with his workouts for nothing.
Although you have surprised him before by defending yourself, which he commended you for.
T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)
The effort he may not always put into everyday tasks goes into anniversary and dates. Ofc, he tries to but it is forgettable when it's day to day stuff.
U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)
He's left behind his gambling habits and tries to keep away from it. Yet, he still resorts to bad coping mechanisms, usually tied to his impulsiveness.
V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)
The average ig. He's neglected his skin before but thanks to the rise in skincare for guys he's got a simple routine that you help him keep up with.
W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)
Literally and figuratively. Physically and emotionally.
Cannot run an errand without you, not that he would ever admit it though. Your presence is the only remedy he needs.
X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)
He's into motorcycles. As a teen, instead of his first vehicle being a car it was a motorcycle. He used to spend a lot of time with groups of motorcyclists when he wanted to occupy his mind. After settling down, he remembered his first motorcycle he had to part with when he joined the military and decided to purchase one of the same model to keep beside the newer one in the garage.
Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)
Trying to hold him back or tell him to 'slow down' on things he wants to have fun on. Like he needs his adrenaline rush and although his decisions may seem careless he's made sure the consequences aren't too dire. He doesn't see himself getting along with a boring person or a buzzkill.
Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)
Will not go to sleep if you're not in bed with him. Don't try to stay up late and tell him to not stay up waiting for you, that's unacceptable to him. He could try but he feels as if he needs something to hold, feels as if his chest is concave from where your head should be resting on right now. He can only get up and cling to you like a toddler except he's bigger than you and now you can't do anything.
#also i might be getting a job soon :(#and this five yr old won't stop yanking my hair out#horangi x reader#horangi#horangi call of duty#horangi cod#kim horangi hong jin#kim hong jin#cod fanfic#cod headcanons
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these are on sale for nearly the same price
#im going to move out soon now that i have a full time out of college job so. i might as well get a sillay cast iron#they also have mini guitar cast iron pans and cast iron skull cake pans which i will get bc its like they engineered those things for me
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I need to try harder to get out of bed but augh
#🤖.txt#aghhfjg i really need to catch up on sleep. but i also want to do stuff but idk. this is dumb but nothing i do really feels worth the effor#anymore. Thinking like this is sad bc drawing is one of the few things i like doing and make me happy but idk#i might just go back to the way things were before. Just wait for the weekend and spend as much time drawing then#genuinely dont want to do anything at all this is so frustrating and im so tired and sad all the time#i know i should be using my break to focus on studying but with what time#Idkkkk i just really hate living like this#thinking about dropping out again but that would just mean house chores + babysitting full time while job hunting and idk if i can handle#that. I cant handle anything anymore and this is making me so sad . I want to be useful and do so many things but i reached my limit months#ago. I just wanted a week or two to just rest its all i need . But i know im never gonna get that again and at this point i might as well#just die but i cant do that neither bc i have shit to do#Everyone is always talking about how i have it so easy and how things are just gonna get worse bc they think me being home = me not doing#anything and idk. I cant take anything anymore and i think the most upsetting part of this is that i know theyre right#im not doing barely anything and i dont know. How to do more im just useless and ungrateful for the things i have#Really stressed and tired and literally nothing happened. Its gonna be 2pm soon and im supposed to wake up Earlier#But yeagh. this wasnt supposed to be this wall of text i just wanted to say that i might give up on art again for a while#aughhh i dont know how to do anything right idk how to live or take care of myself how am i supposed to raise someone .#this is. too much i think. I reallyyyyy need to relearn how to just talk to myself . I cant keep dropping these everyday and being . This t#evsryone around me. Everyone in my life deserves so much better than ill ever be#vent
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when i was in highschool one o my biggest coping mechanisms was drawing all the kids i hated getting killed and eaten and killed. and well. time is a slowly ascending spiral. you will find patterns.(i work as a blackjack dealer. gamblers are FASCINATING
#cw blood#luckys original content#ITS SMALL BUT ITS ART SO IT GOES ON THE ART BLOG#also wwaooooww its meee its my lil persona!!! i dont draw myself enough....#anyway i have bigger things in the works. im slowly but surely chipping away at a pd thumbnail for that pd thumbnail project#FINALLY COLORING. BUT COLORING IS SO HARD AND I HAVNT BEEN IN THE COLORING MOOD#SO IVE JUST BEEN MAKING RLY DUMB COMICS INSTEAD... OOPS..#idk if anything finished n polished will be posted here anytime soon. BUT i post wips of everything on my twitter#and i post jrwi exclusive wips on my slucky blog. you may look at those if u have Truck Art Wishdrawls. as many do. as many do#THIS BLACKJACK JOB IS RLY AWESOME BTW DONT GET ME WRONG#i work three 12-hour days ina row. i gotta take an hourlong bus up to the depths o the mountains and then#i get to stay in this delightful lil hotel that was built in an ooold hospital. its a whole casino town. and an OLD one at that#ITS GORGEOUS HERE. last week my bus home was delayed for 2 hours#so i finally got the chance to head to other casinos and try drinkin n gambling. lost ten bucks to a pretty girl. NOT the first time#i rlly wanna try it again!!! i love interracting w ppl and i love being inebriated in public bc im just so sweet and pleasant and friendly#and pretty girls LLOOOOVEE MEEEEE i think i just need to go to gay bars more#but theres fucking NONE HERE. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im collectin comrade queers up here tho#we wanna make a Group but we just gotta come up witha name first. i need something weird and strange#yknow i remember being in highschool. and being miserable n unmedicated. my mommas ultimatum was that;#if i dont drop out of highschool; i dont need to move out. she probably wouldntve kicked me out anyway bc my mommas sweet like that but#she REALLY wanted me to graduate. and i remember dreading that i might never do that#i remember feeling like the Resident Idiot. sweet but so so fucking dumb. it took me 7 years of strife n stress before i finally graduated#i remember worrying back then that i might not ever be able to handle myself out there. that i'd be too dependant on others#AND HERE I AM. DID U KNOW I WAS LOOKIN AT HOUSES A WHILE AGO? IM AN ADULT AND IM WWINNINNNGGGGGGG#IM RUNNING OUTA ROOM BUT HERES MY ADVICE TO YOU. BC I KNOW UR FUCKING SCARED TOO. THE ONE THING THAT SAVED ME.#THAT KEPT ME FROM SINKING INTO DESPAIR IS REMEMBERING ONE THING: ITS LITERALLY JUST LIKE VIDEO GAMES#MOST PPL YOU CAN JUST WALK UP TO N ASK A QUESTION N THEYLL ANSWER. THEYRE ALL NPCS THEYRE NOT REAL#LIKE IF U WALK INTO A BANK AND ASK HOW A DEBIT CARD WORKS THEY WILL HELP YOU#AND IF YOU THINK THEY HAVE ULTERIOR MOTIVES RELATING TO MONEY. YOU CAN ASK THE CUSTOMERS TOO. ITS JUST LIKE VIDEO GAMES#ANYWAY STAY SAFE KIDS HAVE FUNNNNN. IM GOING TO GO DO DRUGS NOW. HOPE U CAN DO DRUGS SOON TOO. I LOVE YOU
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Elain doll got some upgrades today!
#she got a new paint job today#i also redidd her eyes ans gave her a belt finally#i might take her somewhere and take some new pictures for funsies soon#and im gonna work on a dento doll soon i swear!#art#my art#dolls#my photos#photography#doll custom#elain the bounty hunter#elain gets adopted#the pink city#gooseworx
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I got a job as a bookseller!!!
#nat talks#listen. it's not the dream bc I've already worked in a bookstore and it's actually terrible at times#but I only really worked during holidays and people were just so rude#BUT I do have higher hopes for this location#also I tentatively know two people who work there so it will be fun!#it's a sub role and a little unclear if I'll only work during christmas and the book sale in feb or more#it depends on if the people who are on sick leave will return and when#but I can keep freelancing and apply for corporate jobs I want in the meantime#at the very least I can work during december either way and if I end up finding something else maybe I can work weekends during the booksal#so to not let them down too much#I honestly am just looking forward to getting out of the house and meeting people and working with my body more#because my mind is very fried#I have a short shift tomorrow to train#then I'll see when I'll officially start but it will probably be soon!#I've had a very busy few days so I wish I had said I could do my training shift next week#bc they gave the option of this wednesday or next#but I didn't want to turn it into a “thing” by letting too much time pass bc I might get anxious about it#but now I wish I had lmao I'm tired#also forgot I was gonna be home alone with the dog tomorrow#had been looking forward to it tbh#oh wellll#work stuff
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hi everyone I miss you 🥺
#work has been so fucking overwhelming lately :((( had to report this Incident to HR now im waiting for them to talk to me#and im thinking something more serious might happen to the guy i made the report about cause he has other complaints#that are all quite serious#and i keep feeling really guilty cause i think it might lead to him getting fired but also#bro said multiple slurs AT WORK and then defended why he should be allowed to say them and he 'does it all the time' outside of work#so yeah fuck you dude. hope you get fucking fired.#i just hate that i had to be the one to say something cause now im like well. hes gonna know it was me. cause it happened twice#and the first time i was the only other person in the room other than his gf and obviously she doesnt care so she wouldnt say shit#and he has way more friends there than me so if he DOES get fired i have a feeling theyd all find out#which almost made me not say anything cause i really fucking like my job and i dont want it to become a hostile environment#but like ? bro defended himself for like 15 whole minutes about how much he doesnt give a fuck#so guess what dude ! i dont give a fuck either !#im hoping next week this gets resolved and i can be less stressed and come on here a bit more i miss looking at Images :(((#been missing all my friends' gifs and edits !!!! need to be more chronically online !!!! STAT !#i will catch up on my tag soon i prommy <33333333333#j.txt
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idk how long my laptop will survive seeing as i hardly use it anymore so anyway here's an abandoned project from a couple of years ago where i ambitiously tried to make an rpg with the yokai outfits. here are some sprites i made
#identity v#aesop carl#identity v embalmer#joseph desaulnier#identity v photographer#tracy reznik#identity v mechanic#this is a part 1 i have more. but its not enough for an entire game#i had a couple of glaring plotholed i couldnt resolve#n tbh by the time i got to the other sprites i didnt like the way aesop n joseph turned out cos i did them first#i also meant to shade them but i couldnt get around to it. i think the flats are nicer but i also feel like i should shade#project death by perfectionism. if anyone wants to hear more im more than happy to share about this#i could probably dig up the docs somewhere. i dont have the time or energy to make a full blown game#i am so bad at coding#also shoutout n apology to ish aka azzy mun cos she offered to help with this#but i disappointed both her and myself by not having anything very concrete. im sorry ish but also thank u for the help#anyway seeing as the blog is slowly dying due to lack of asks n interactions n also my full time job that hates me#i might as well dump these here for archive sake#unconcerned art#part 2 coming soon
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you know, i think my real issue is that i always have to be professional. gotta be professional at work, gotta create professional-level school work, gotta be professional as a volunteer…
what if i broke everything in my house and screamed until i lost my voice?
#I JUST WANNA BE SILLY AND FUN!!!!#BUT I CAN’T SO INSTEAD I MUST SCREAM#i’m actually fine now - this was a thought from earlier when i was still struggling with my lab report#ONE MORE YEAR. OF SCHOOL.#and then like. i might also get a Master’s#but that will be DIFFERENT#it won’t be this MUCH…#not three classes on top of a full time job and volunteering and maybe also the vague outline of a social life!!!!#please god get me through this in one piece#i shouldn’t be dying from schoolwork rn - i should be meeting my wife#SOON…#just one more year and then i do fieldwork and THEN i can get married#it all makes sense really#but i just wanna have my brain function back honestly#i am 100% spent 100% of the time and i can’t live like this
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Are you still taking ask's?
Thank you anon for sending this and for the remainder of the month of October YES 😆
So here's an update on what the crew looks like 🤔, I decided to give them my own twist on their OG and Studio designs 😗
From left to right it's Snow, Bendy, Boris, Cup, Mugs, Cala-Maria and lastly Alice
Bendy has a more humanoid-demon look and Boris has a more wolf boy look. For Cup and Mugs they're basically haunted porcelain ball-jointed dolls (I got the idea from the game 😁) Cala is a mermaid . . . no surprise there and Alice is a half fallen angel via my interpretation.
Snow also went through a design change and is also male now, you see he was always supposed to be male but because I could never grasp on how to draw male figures I just drew him as a female but I guess that doesn't matter since he is a shape shifter after all hope y'all can accept him 🥺
To start off this month long come back here's this
I usually do UnknownSpy's dressuptober challenge on insta but I'm gonna do it here as well I know we're 5 days into the month but please forgive me I've got a full time job now and can't be here as often so let's see how this goes who knows maybe I might start doing some art streams someday 😁
Also sorry all current asks in my box will be deleted 😔 as to make room for the new ones 😉
#snowy talks#studio au#yo who knew getting an outside job would take most of my time#i did thats who 😭#but ive decided to come back for a short while#rouge has left tumblr i believe for good and that is sad#she will be missed#thought that also means the show is technically cancelled#hence the new desings#so yeah#nothing i can do about that sorry#so after this maybe staring December or January of next year this might just turn into an art request slash ask blog#the only difference is that the show is no longer running#i hope people read this#see you all soon#-AzuXo Solstice#aka my new username
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Howdy! This is Dynjir (mod) speaking!
First of all, a giant thank you to everyone who follows and keeps up with this blog! This is my first time ever making a blog like this and so far it's been so much fun!! I've been drawing CoN stuff for nearly 4 months straight now (which is still pretty nuts to me), but now, I'm afraid I'm reaching a limit!
Not only has my physical health not been great lately, there's some projects related to my career that I want to focus on, and I need to take some things off my plate until they're done.
Announcing a break like this will also help me mentally so that I don't feel a never-ending pressure to keep updating all the time. Even if the blog's just for fun, I am very task driven, and despite having enough content queued up for weeks on advance, I'll still feel like I have to constantly make/find more content to post. If I don't do this, I'll feel like I'm always on a timer that only ticks down @-@;;
So things will be quiet around here for a bit bc I won't be queueing anything either during the break (for the reason stated above). I also won't be giving out a time on when I'll be coming back, but hopefully, it won't be for too long (bc I still have ideas I wanna draw out)!
Thanks for keeping up with this blog! Until the next update, cya and take care!
#dyntalks#consider this the first of potentially many dry spells :'0!!#also I might be starting a new job soon?#don't wanna jinx myself tho fingers crossed!!#if I get it tho I will DEF be busy bc uhh#I high-key feel the job's going to be hard...#also feel free to ask questions despite the hiatus!#I may not answer them immediately but they'll start getting answered when I come back :]#all
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Thinking of starting commissions…
#Grghhh I Can Do pet portraits I Can I Can#mostly for refugee funds! But also might need a new laptop soon and I don’t have the $ if I don’t manage to get a job this coming year :<#htxt
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I... Got an appointment for a new apartment just now 🧍🏻♂️
Still baffled bc I half gave up to find a new place (those who stuck around for a hot minute know I have been suffering from excruciatingly noisy upstairs neighbors for years now).
It's a maisonette apartment too and they don't mind that I have two cats so I'm... Cautiously excited??
#I also have a job interview next week which I also didn't expect to happen 🧍🏻♂️#as soon as I let go of desperately wanting these things to happen... they did. it's so weird.#also also there might be a monetary blessing on the horizon and the more I think about all this the more sus I get#GOOD THINGS HAPPENING TO ME?? WHAT IS THE COST WHAT WILL HAPPEN AM I GOING TO DIE
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idk how to even like. put this pain into words and i would normally vent about this shit on twitter, but the person its about follows me on there so like. anybody have skills for coping with the crushing realization that the person u love most in this world and have built ur life around sees ur current situation together as a temporary hurdle that's preventing them from their truest and happiest self which. is separate from u entirely? anyone know how to deal with this?
#live with my best friend in the whole entire world who. honest to god makes me the happiest person alive.#like im always waxing poetic about her in the tags on posts about platonic love#and i talk about her like she put the stars in the skies because for real it feels like she did for me#she is. the most important person in my life#and every day i feel grateful just to come home and sit with her#like honest to god i cannot imagine a future that is better than this#if i have a bad day i get to come home and my best friend in the world will make me laugh#what more could i ever ask for#but tonight we talked and she made it abundantly clear that. even if i do everything right#even if i'm the perfect roommate and the best friend i can be#in just over a year#when she's making enough money for it#she plans on moving into a place of her own#which like. makes sense for her. of course we were going to get to this point.#but i just. don't know what i'm going to do.#and it kills me that we're on different pages because for some reason i thought this was a long term thing#i thought we were going to move into a house together#i was just telling my coworker this week that we need to move into our forever home soon which was partially a joke#but also. even if i was making a million dollars a year.#i would still want to be here. with her.#or somewhere else. with her.#like it's so hard to imagine a future without her. it breaks my heart and scares the shit out of me.#and i know i can't afford it here. and i can't move in with strangers. and i'm working my dream job but i'm scared that i'm going to have t#give it all up and move back east because. i can't do this alone. and she's all i have. and all i ever wanted.#and she's leaving.#she doesn't want to be with me.#sry this is so fucking. ugh. idk. i just don't know what to do.#for real might just drop everything and move to chicago if it comes down to it ksdkfljdfs#its what sufjan would have wanted#fucked up terrible no good week
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I wish I could create more fully finished pieces faster.
#art woes#I also wish I was a better artist ngl…#thinking of creating my own stuff#But I’m trying to draw just one part for myself#Comics are hard to make#Don’t expect anything to be done soon#I’m now understanding the difficulty of making a single panel#it’s been 2 days and I still have not finished a single drawing#I’m trying to be gentle on myself though#I’m improving and I go to college full time and have a part time job over the weekends#I might not be perfect at my art but I can improve#plus making a comic means I get to see myself improve
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