#also i know this sounds so emo but crying too much when trying to sleep makes it worse in a way bc you get all stuffy

[meiffel-tower]

being a working adult is lying in your bed feeling like you could probably cry at least a moderate amount about something but then you're like no I don't want to have that like cry hangover tomorrow at work so we're gonna indulge responsibly and carefully in the tears instead

[restinslices]

LKBS AS FIRST TIME DADS

tried to make these as differently as possible

Bi-Han

His baby is planned so he's not as nervous as other people 

Bi-Han is ridiculously confident. He's helped with his younger brothers and he knows the basics of what a baby needs so honestly, he's pretty sure he's got this in the bag

He did not have it in the bag

Here's the thing; his younger brothers didn't depend on Bi-Han to survive. They had their parents. Plus, Bi-Han spends too much time thinking about his child as an adult warrior and completely skips over them being a child

This baby is depending on him and his partner at all times and they're a baby 

I'm gonna make them all girl dads because listen-

I think patience would be something he'd both struggle and be good at

He's patient when it comes to small mistakes, like knocking something over but he can be a bit impatient when it comes to developing certain skills and when they make bigger mistakes 

Y'all know how Kratos is hard on Atreus but it's because he cares and want him to be prepared for when he's gone? That's Bi-Han

He'd also struggle with saying things in a child friendly manner. I don't mean swearing, I mean he has to pause and think “how do I say this without hurting their feelings?”

He naturally has a harsh sounding tone so he has to try his best to not sound mean. He can't double down 

Since I mentioned speaking, he is not using a baby voice 

People get excited with their first kid and are like “oh my gosh look at my little baby!” and speak all high pitch but he's not doing that at all. He's using his normal voice and adult words with a newborn

Some people have nicknames for things. For example, when my nephew was younger we'd ask if he wanted “nom noms”. Bi-Han doesn't see the point in doing that. He's asking his toddler “do you want food?”

I can understand if people would think he'd be this super grump dad that hates all types of noise but in my head Bi-Han understands that kids make noise and cry. Does it annoy him? Yes. Is he screaming for them to quiet down? No. His world was never gonna stay quiet once he decided to start a family 

Speaking of yelling, I don't think he does it often. Bi-Han is the type to pull his kid to the side and quietly threaten them. Like when your mom would pull you to the side and say if you kept acting up in the store she was gonna whoop you in the bathroom 

He also has “the stare”

Shit gets shut down quickly 

The definition of “wait until I tell your dad”

He'd train his daughter like he'd train anyone else. He's not going easy on her. If anything, he'd be harder on her because she has more to prove 

There's so much he doesn't know how to deal with since this is his first child and honestly, that emo phase probably kicked his ass more than he'd like to admit

The bang, the extensions, the checkered wristbands, the studded belts-

It's embarrassing for him to mention how genuinely concerned he was. He had no idea what was going on and telling her to train harder didn't take the hair dye out her head 

Speaking of which, I think Bi-Han’s biggest mistake as a parent would be trying to mold his child into becoming a mini him. It's not because he thinks he's 10/10. It’s because he's a solid Grandmaster. 

“Back in my day we learned obedience” type shit 

The type to say “I hate when my dad did this” then proceeds to do it to his child 

He'd need help when it comes to emotional awareness and seeing his child as their own individual 

He may accidentally snub them of childhood moments they deserve. It's not with malicious intent, it's more of a “our enemies don't sleep so we won't either”

Imagine if him and his kid ended up having the same distant relationship him and his dad had-

Tragic but definitely possible 

Kuai Liang 

Probably also had a planned baby 

He may only want one child because he's worried he'll end up having another him and Bi-Han

Which is why I think it'd be funny if he had twins-

Follow me camera 

He's expecting one baby. That's it. That's all. 

So when it's revealed he's having twins, he's shocked and afraid 

Bi-Han’s betrayal did a number on him. He doesn't really know why Bi-Han was so angry. He knew about his frustration but he didn't know it'd go this deep and he'd let their father die. He's worried he'll upset one of them and history will repeat itself 

Him dying isn't the problem. The family breaking up is what he's worried about 

Because of this I think he'd accidentally become a helicopter parent

He's overly affectionate to his children. Affection is fine but he smothers them and watches everything they do 

He tries so hard to keep the family together, but it does the opposite. Now his kids are desperate for space. Both from him and each other 

Before we get to that sadness though, Kuai Liang is a great dad 

He trains them and if one has his powers and the other doesn't, he makes sure to not show favoritism 

Idk if he'd be corny enough to buy his twins matching shit. If he doesn't, Tomas will and he won't stop him 

Anything they give him, he's 100% keeping 

He uses a hair tie they painted pink instead of his usual one 

He frames all of the pictures they draw for him 

He attends all their little tea parties and let's them harass him about how much sugar is in his tea 

He doesn't spoil them but he doesn't not spoil them 

He doesn't give them everything they want but he'll get them stuff if it makes him think of them 

Like a doctor's toy he randomly saw 

He tries to be very active in their life when he's not busy 

He has safety plans in case his clan is attacked. They're at war and he doubts the Lin Kuei will spare his children 

I think all the brothers would let their kids know about their job and their responsibilities. No point on keeping it secret. They'll have to do it one day too 

Some parents get really sad when their kids grow up but I don't think he'd get sad. Idk, I just think he'd see it more as an accomplishment. Not everyone makes it far and he's always worried about their safety 

Remember when I said his kids would want space? 

This would probably happen in their teen years and he'd be so confused because wdym he still managed to fuck up?

I think how he'd feel would be a mix of “well they're kids” and “damn, I blew it” 

Overall I think he'd put way too much pressure on himself when it came to becoming a parent and this stresses him out more. At some point though he'd have to learn to let them be them and learn that honestly there's not much he can do

He does his part by being a loving father. He can't make them stay together or make them stay loyal. That's just the goal 

Besides that I think Kuai Liang would honestly be a pretty solid dad. He genuinely loves and cares for the people around him and it'd show with his children. He'd do all the dumb shit some dads are too embarrassed to do with their children. 

He's just a bit smothering 

A lot a bit-

Tomas Vrbada

He actually wants multiple kids 

He doesn't want a whole football team but wants his own little family 

His kid is probably planned too and I think he's possibly the most excited 

I can really see Tomas being a good dad and I think starting his own family that's just his would mean a lot to him 

Yeah he has Kuai Liang and their new clan and for a while he had the Lin Kuei but it's not the same. He wants his family that's only his and is related to him by blood 

So with that being said he's already reading books and watching videos before the baby is even here 

He still feels unprepared when she actually gets here 

First of all girl dad Tomas has no shame. Put the makeup on him. Dress him up in the dumbest shit imaginable. Have him do a duet with you. He's doing it all 

Overall he wants to give this child a way better life than he had 

His family was killed so the bar is in hell but moving on-

I think Tomas could accidentally spoil his child. Can y'all see it? I can see it 

My sources or reasoning? I just think he's the most likely out of the 3. He goes from “I'll give them a better life” to “and I'll buy this and this and this-”

Don't get it misconstrued though, he's still training them to be a warrior. War is everywhere and he got some shitty ass luck 

Imma be real… Tomas might be a leash parent-

I can see him getting tired of this kid running off and he gives up and buys it 

I can see him teaching his kid to do all that smoke shit and they accidentally fly up in the air 

This is another reason for the leash 

I can see Tomas feeling like an outsider with the Lin Kuei so he tries his best to make his child feel confident 

And that confidence can easily turn to arrogance 

He's complimenting their abilities at every turn and I think balance can be something that slips his mind. He's thinking “man I wish I got more compliments and felt more seen growing up” and takes it to an extreme 

So his child is now kinda a cocky asshole, which is something you may expect from Bi-Han’s kid but his would grow up being a bit insecure in a “I can never please him” way. Tomas’ kid is arrogant because “my dad is always pleaded with me”

It's hard to get right 

He's present in everything. Not in a smothering way though, he's just there 

If he has to miss any important milestones or events, he definitely tries to make up for it 

Like if he missed a dance performance, when he comes back he'll ask them to redo it in front of him 

He wants to be present for everything, even if it's small. Idk. I think he'd just really value these moments he'll never get back. He'll have more kids but he'll never see this particular kid dance ballet again 

He adjusts nicely to parenthood I think. It's a challenge but he's confident enough to take any failure he does on the chin and move on 

And if I said he takes the emo or scene phase really well, what are y'all gonna do?

Some kids do coke. Listening to BVB seems like the better choice 

Definition of a spine made of jelly 

Puppy dog eyes work with him. I don't make the rules 

I do, but moving on-

The spoiling part would kick his ass so bad. He'd have to get that shit under control at some point because it's like, no shit your child becomes defiant and spoiled. You give them everything 

They'd have a positive relationship overall. I think spoiling would be the main problem 

My thoughts are unorganized as fuck and I'd like to apologize because now I'm going back in time to say he'd take his child hunting as soon as he could 

His family hunted together and it was usually a nice fun bonding activity so he does it with his child 

I mention this for the first child because his judgment of what's appropriate at a certain age is so off

She's 4 and he's “saddle up. Let's go hunt this large unnamed animal!”

Nothing bad ever happens to the Kennedy's-!

His child is kicked by whatever they were hunting 

Has to be reminded several times that his baby is not a buff grown man like he is that can take some damage. They cannot just thug it out Tomas 

Besides the multiple injuries and spoiling though, he'd be an alright dad with his own little family 

Probably plans on having another one once his kid is like,,, 2 because he's insane 

[chiyeko-kurea]

white girl rant

mc tavish scottish accent i hate mini doorways i can’t see if someones comin in until they’re in the middle of my room like jeez stop giving me anxiety i love when i wake up and my dog is on my bed. i know it’s because im the only one who allows her to sleep on my bed but i like to think that in the middle of the night her brain just thought of me and went ‘i wanna go sleep next to her’ i know it’s not the case she’s just bored of sleeping on the hard floor yet she always falls alseep in my sister’s bedroom she prefers to go there just to be beside her oh my god the only thing that makes her finally go in my room is discomfort. but when she wakes up she asks for cuddles and to be pet a bit and i like to imagine she’s my dog only and she’s mine and she gets me and she’s not my freaking dad’s favorite daughter. and she prefers my dad he made me so upset today i cried and i felt ashamed and like a loser because i asked him several times to sign me up to a tennis class to try it out and he did and then i panicked so much i couldn’t do it because i dont want to be alone with a man but then it was gonna be a woman days later so i said yay but the days flew by and i realized to matter who i can never find what to say and im awkward and ugly and my whole lower face skin is peeling away and my teeth are fucked up and my chin skin is flayed raw and bright bloody red and i have acne and dark circles and an embarrassing smile and i can’t play tennis for shit. for. shit. so i acted all moody teenager and i thought my dad was gonna be like you know what it’s fine if you dont wanna do it i don’t get why you changed your mind but that’s okay i’ll just cancel it. he didn’t. he was aggressive and mean and purposely shamed me in front of the family and reminded very loudly the price even though he didn’t even paid yet and my sister had to go for me and i sat there watching her be so extraverted and comfortable with a stranger when i know i wouldn’t have been able to say a word that didn’t sounded weird and wanting to cry every second and burst in tears and my dad was so so mean and usually he gets me, and my sister saved me and went i got home i burst into tears in my room and he just wanted me to try a new thing and i just wanted to cut cut cut and why on earth am i this fucking awkward loser with my earphones in and too big black hoodie like im some kind of pseudo rebellious annoying emo kid i just want to be pretty and funny and shine like why do i the worse part is i kind of really wanted to try tennis. and i think i would’ve been good. i think would not have made a total fool of myself thing is whatever i do i am a fool anyway, i am a fool for even thinking for one day of my goddamn life i could have not ruined everything. my dad looked at me weirdly the rest of the evening and i wanted to yell maybe im reminding you of your loser son you lost to drugs no shocker we get along i also want to lose myself and you saw my scars you know there’s something wrong with me and there’s something wrong with him and with you and with all of us and wherever your blood is. i like my dad, he’s a good father but at the end of the day he’s a man, and not a better one than the others. if i have good grades and a pretty face let me tell you there is NOTHING you can complain of me. i am working on my appearance to be prettier to not embarrass you anymore but one day you will have nothing to complain about and i will do whatever i want and you will try to say what changed and i will say it’s not of your business anymore you can introduce me to anyone and say yes she’s my daughter she is clever pretty she has friends she reads and she jogs and i will be perfect and i will throw plates at your head and i will be the worse and no one will know. montgommery forever and ever and ever and i will blow up and i will become a doctor and have a boyfriend and you will say we used to laugh and i will say you were there but somehow the moments when i NEEDED you to understand me you didn’t. you got me but never got me. i cant stop seeing you as a man no matter how fathe

[batsinurbelfrey]

Big emo thoughts about Dai post vvv

Ya know- I spend so much time agonizing over if I am being a good and proper pet owner to Dai. I do my absolute best to do everything right by her and go the full distance for her always, and I know my worrying about it even is likely a sign that I'm FINE- but it still Haunts me. Sometimes I look at her and wonder "have I given you the best life that you could have, are you happy" But something happened this morning that......while it is NOTHING NEW- really finally made something shift into place in my head. at 4am Dai had a reverse sneezing fit, it lasted about 5-8 minutes on and off. its fairly common for small dogs, and not something to be too worried about, as they will usually work through it. HOWEVER, its very very scary for the Dogs. [they can't breathe!! and they don't know why!] Mainly you just need to sit there with them and comfort them [sometimes gently blowing in their nose will help but not always] I woke up to the sound of it and lept out of bed to help [she sleeps at the foot of the bed usually kuz I'm a RESTLESS sleeper] it WAS a longer one and I felt so bad for her but we just did what we could to get through it. after that was all done, I turned the lights back off and scruffed her fur and gave her a lil kiss, and then got back into bed, once I did she got up and came to curl up against my chest. it took her a while to feel safe enough to put her head back down and try to sleep, but eventually, she did and slept through till morning. this is something she does Like Clockwork after these episodes, and also when she has nightmares [cries out and shakes and yelps in her sleep until I wake her up], she always comes up and pushes herself against my chest to settle herself back down. I've always found it really sweet and always makes me wanna Cry a bit [ /pos ]. but today I was REALLY thinking about it, about what it Says. I know lots of dogs and cats that run off and hide when they feel scared or uncomfy, I feel like that's the "default" animal response. But Dai comes to Me. I make her feel safe, being close to me brings her comfort and calm. She Trusts me. And with that said, maybe I need to stop raking myself over the coals wondering if I'm good for her. maybe that says everything I need to hear-

[sailorsplatoon]

Sure thing!

Four rocked the infant back and forth in their arms, trying to lull the child to sleep. They stared up at the artificall sky of Alterna, searching for shapes in the clouds. Harmony stood nearby, riffling through a bag of supplies to try and find their baby's favorite toy. They refused fall asleep without it.

"I gotta be honest, I'm impressed," Captain said, watching the two of them taking care of their baby. "When I first found out you guys were having a kid I had thought Acht would be the only one able to handle it."

Four looked at her, confusion and pain along their face. "What? Why?" Their tone was sharp. Captain knew instantly that she should not have said that.

"It's not that we didn't think you could..." Eight stepped in, trying his best to defend her. "It's just that the two of you aren't the most responsible people in the world."

"What do you mean not responsible?" Harmony's usually sing-song voice had a venom to it.

"Well Four you did have trouble taking care of most of your pets when you were little, and Harmony's clownfish is dying of neglect." Neo did not try to phrase its words gently. Captain and Eight could feel the air grow tenser as it spoke.

"He's not neglected he's just emo," Harmony snapped. Had she ever snapped at anyone before? Apparently today was the day.

"Also, I had most of those pets when I was five or six. You really think I'm still just as irresponsible as I was when I was a six year old?" Four's words were harsh, but they did not stop their slow rocking motion. The baby had finally gone to sleep, they needded to treaure this moment of respite from their constant crying.

"No it's not like that it's just..." Captain's voice trailed off. Four was exactly right, she'd assumed they weren't any more mature than when they were a child. She hadn't realized until now how bad that sounded.

"Four, I think we should go." Harmony began to turn towards the exit.

"Agreed." As Four stood up to leave, Acht arrived in Alterna. "Come on Acht, we're going home," Four said sharply.

"But I just got here--" Upon seeing the anger on their partner's faces, Acht gave up their argument and went with them.

---------

A few weeks later, there soft was a knocking on the door to Acht, Four, and Harmony's apartment.

"Were you expecting someone?" Four asked Harmony, as they got up to answer it, laying the baby down in a crib.

"No. Who is it?"

"Oh I think I know," Acht spoke just before Four opened the door. Behind it stood Captain, Eight, and Neo. Shame hung heavily above them. "I invited them over. It's time you all settled this fight."

"Sorry, I'm busy taking care of my kid." Four went to close the door on the agents. Acht rushed over, placing their foot between the door and the frame so that they couldn't close it fully.

"You five need to work this out."

"Fine."

The six of them sat in the lving room, staring at eachother. Four and Harmony shot each of the agents angry looks.

"Alright, I'll go first," Captain said, not able to bear the silence any longer. "Agent 4, Harmony, I'm sorry that I doubted you. I see now that you are both very capable peeople and I should not have underestimated you."

"Me too. I'm sorry to you both. I didn't think clearly about the situation and jumped to conclusions." Eight spoke up next.

"Yeah, I'm sorry too. You guys are awsome and I shouldn't've doubted you for a second." Neo went last, concluding the apologies.

The same silence sat for just a moment before Four burst out with, "Thank you so much, I didn't like being mad at all of you!"

"Me neither. I accept your apology." Harmony's typical nonchalance returned to her tone.

"I'd like to point out that nobody was ever mad at me. Therefore, I win at arguments." Acht gave their tentacles a sassy flick.

"Hey, that's cheating!" Four shouted playfully.

The silence in the room had lifted, replaced by joyous laughter.

This was fun to write!!!

i can see four or harmony kinda snaping at the agents for think acht will only be the only responsible one with a kid

Yes, definitely. 

Once the two of them find out that the agents didn’t believe in their parental abilities, they both get pretty angry and are really hurt that their friends didn’t think they were capable. It sparks a nasty fight between Four, Harmony, and the rest of the agents. Eventually the other agents apologize to the two of them, but it takes a while.

[deidearly]

Shikamaru Relationship Headcanons

Back with another relationship headcanons of Shikamaru, this time! I had fun writing these, so, please enjoy! X. 

He’s the type of person that would think every kind of activities that require efforts are a drag. The concept of ‘dating’, obviously, falls in the “what a drag” category— but dating you, however, is something he’d gladly do.

Hear me out, despite being very chill on the outside, Shikamaru is pretty much an overthinker. For example, he’d try to look uninterested on your first date. Would totally throw any outfit that he found comfortable. But in his mind, he’s DESPERATELY trying to figure you out, like

“DOES Y/N HATE MY OUTFIT” , “Why is she frowning— DOES SHE HATE EATING HERE” , “Man, wouldn’t it be a drag if she actually hated me”

A lot of “Hey, can you come over?” dates.

For relationship advices, he listens more to Choji’s than Ino’s.

“Listen, Shikamaru. The most important thing is your gestures. You have to show Y/N that you’re actually a fine gentleman—“ , “Just give her your last piece of meat then I bet she’d love you forever.” you can already guess which one is Ino and which one is Choji, right?

SHOGI DATES

So, the first time he had shogi date in his mind, he was REALLY overthinking it. He thought, you’d hate playing shogi together since it’s boring and it’s considered an old person game. But to his surprise, you LIKE it.

At first, of course, you were very bad it. Shikamaru beat you mercilessly— and would laugh hysterically about you losing.

But you started to understand how the game works and you’d eventually came up with a lot of strategies in your mind. So, one day, during your “can you come over” dates— you suggested, “Hey, why don’t we play Shogi?”

Shikamaru really didn’t see what’s coming

It was a tight match

Shikaku was watching

YOU WON

You left the Naras SPEECHLESS for MINUTES

Shikaku’s eyes were widened— he spent his years losing to Shikamaru. But today, as you grinned widely, Shikamaru sat in defeat. The younger Nara stayed calm, examining his pawns. On the contrary, the older Nara bursted into laughter, hitting his son’s shoulder repeatedly. “Y/N! You actually beat Shikamaru!”

Shikamaru’s mad on the outside but internally he’s like, “WIFEY.”

Seriously, don’t feel bad. For him, you’re a God-sent now that you beat him in Shogi. He’s planning a wedding in his mind.

Now let’s talk about touches. He’s not a big fan of PDA, because for him, it makes people uncomfortable. But he’s SO amazing with words— he’s a big flirt and there are so many aggressive sexual tensions between the two of you and THAT’S WHAT MAKES PEOPLE UNCOMFORTABLE ACTUALLY

“Do you think you can paralyze him with your shadow jutsu, Shikamaru?” , “Seriously, Y/N? If I could strangle you last night then I’m pretty sure I can now—“ , “(Ino, stressed out in a battlefield) GUYS COME ON NOT NOW HE HAS A BLADE.”

His favorite way to spend some time with you is obviously by taking a nap together, especially after a tiring missions. He’d take off his vest and throw himself on the bed. You’d stand near his bed and he’d go, “Come.” inviting you to sleep next to him.

He loves it when you’re curled up next to him inside a blanket— skins touching. He’d bury his head in your hair and play with your hair lazily until he’s asleep.

NEVER WAKES HIM UP because he has the prettiest face when he’s asleep like he looks so peaceful

Please, kiss him right after he wakes up. He just gained a lot of energy and it’s the best time to earn what you deserve!

“Y/N, how long have you been awake?” he whispered while rubbing his eye when he saw your back— sitting on the edge of the bed. Without saying anything, you crawled to him, leaning in for a kiss. Just when your lips touched, his hands began to travel down to your waist, pulling your weight closer to him. His fingers traced your skin as he deepened your kiss. “Excited much?” you broke the silence, “I thought you’re the one who’s excited.” he smirked.

Besides taking a nap together, he really likes having an interesting discussions with you. Please ask him about his opinions, theories, or basically anything! He’d spend hours explaining things and end up lost in his own thoughts but I swear it’s worth it because he’s so passionate talking about the things he’s interested in!

Would be very flustered at the end (but would try to hide it) because he’d think you’re bored

“Ah, sorry, Y/N.—“ , “*heart eyes* NO, PLEASE, CONTINUE.”

As much as he loves having discussions with you, he hates having to argue with you, though.

Arguing, especially with you, definitely falls in the “what a drag” category, too. He’s a determined guy— and so with his principles. So, when the both of you are being stubborn, he’d definitely leave you mid-argument, bidding his farewell.

Something like, “You know what, Y/N? This has been quite a drag. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

But boy will be in a full emo mode later at night

Would stare at the ceiling for hours. Pretending to play Shogi with someone. All these to distract himself as he’s trying to cool himself down.

You wouldn’t believe it, but he’d totally walk to your place at night and wait outside your window for some time but then decided to come back home. He knows that he was being a little like a jerk by leaving you in a middle of the conversation.

He’d come first thing in the morning to make up with you.

“Shikamaru, what are you doing?” , “I brought breakfast.”

It would be a little awkward at first, eating breakfast together after a heated argument with no settlement. But he’d be the one to apologize, and he’d be the type to apologize with no “but”s. He’s very nice like that.

All he ever wants to do is cloud-gazing with you, tbh. 

Even though he appears to be a cool person, he’s quite sensitive especially when he’s frustrated. When he’s unable to solve things, when there’s no way out.

It’s very heart-breaking to see him cry, actually. His body would shake, heavy sobs, gritted teeth. It’s painful. 

It happened one time when he found out you had been seriously injured after a mission.

You were together assigned for a mission with the other crews, and he was the one who came up with the battle plan. He trusted you with your power, so he put you with the strongest opponent as well. Unfortunately, he miscalculated your opponent who, apparently, got so much surprise attacks under his sleeve— leaving you defeated.

He blamed it on himself.

He stayed with you every day when you’re hospitalized. Looking at your bruises face triggered every fibers in his body. His head hurt— and tears started to heavily poured from his eyes.

You wake up to the sound of Shikamaru crying, his head was buried on the bedsheet. You could actually tell how he was in agony by the way his body trembled. “Shikamaru.” you called weakly— but it surprised him. His eyes were swollen red, runny nose, and his cheeks wet from his tears. “I’m okay—“ , “It’s my fault, Y/N. I didn’t—“ , “I’m okay.” you repeated yourself.

And from that moment onwards, he swears to try his best to protect you from any sort of harm. He also promised himself to come back home, he doesn’t want to keep you alone for a long time— because deep down you both know that home is to be by each other’s side.

[i-need-entertainment]

Haikyuu Boys and the moment they thought their child came from satan

Characters: Akaashi, Washio, Konoha, Kita, Suna, Ushijima, Yahaba, Iwaizumi, Futakuchi, Daishou, Numai and Iizuna

Warnings: Children, children can be cruel- please proceed with caution, the guys being called not-nice-things cause kids are (albeit cute) incarnates of satan. I say this with love, and yes I have trauma, mentions of injuries, nerf guns and shooting someone with them, pushing someone down the stairs

Akaashi Keiji:

When your son was first born, he was very much a parents-only child. He didn’t like to be held by strangers, which were anyone not his parents.

But there was one exception to that rule, and that was Bokuto.

Which was good because even as an adult I don’t think Bokuto could handle being rejected by little Akaashi.

As he got older, he slowly warmed up to more people, but he was still very shy everywhere not home.

Bokuto had been visiting for the weekend, wanting to come see his friend and his family!

Bokuto had left that morning, and your son was still not happy. He really wasn’t a difficult kid, but this weekend had been a long and active one, so he was very tired.

And seeing as he was indeed Akaashi’s son, he was also very blunt.

“Come on buddy, let’s go take a nap. I know you’re tired.” Akaashi tried to coax his son to come with him, eye brows furrowing when his son shook his head and refused.

“Why not?” his son pouted as he looked up to his father.

“Cause I want uncle bokuto…” Akaashi frowned as he kneeled in front of his son, “I know, but he’ll be back to visit soon.”

His son shook his head, “No, I want him now, I want him to tuck me in.” One of Akaashi’s eyebrows rose, his head tilting to the side abit, “Why Uncle Bokuto? Why not daddy?”

His son sighed, “Because I don’t like you, I like Uncle Bokuto.” Before he trudged off towards his room, dragging his blue blanket behind him, leaving Akaashi speechless and betrayed.

You wasted no time in assuring Akaashi that ‘he didn’t mean it!’ and that ‘he probably won’t even remember it when he wakes up’. But that didn’t do much to sooth the seething pain of your first born betraying you✌😔

Washio Tatsuki:

Washio was outside with the kids, watching over them while they played.

You were inside, talking on the phone with your mom and sipping a cup of tea/coffee.

You were flipping through a magazine, laughing at a memory your mom had brought up, when the front door burst open.

Turning around, the smile on your face dropped when you saw Washio holding your youngest (3 yr old son), who was balling his eyes out.

Apologizing to your mom you stood up from the couch, immediately walking over to them.

“What happened?? Did he get hurt?” Washio sighed as he gently handed him off to you, running a hand through his hair as he shook his head.

“I don’t know, he won’t tell me. All I know is he’s scared, but he won’t tell me what scared him.”

You frowned as you held your little boy, cradling his head against your chest as you slowly rocked back and forth, whispering words of comfort into his ear and kissing the crown of his head.

Eventually, he stopped crying, he was still a bit sniffly and had a few hiccups, but he had settled down quite a bit.

You sat down on the couch with him on your lap, Washio standing after he had brought the twins in as well.

“Wanna tell me what scared you baby?”

Your little boy looked at you, slate gray eyes shimmering with tears as he wiped his cheek before turning to look up at your husband.

He pointed a little finger, “Daddy, daddy’s scary.” He then proceeded to dive back into you, head snuggling into your neck.

You quickly looked up to see your husband's eyes widen as his jaw dropped, looking down to your son in complete and utter disbelief.

It broke your heart the way he clung to you that night, head buried in your chest as he quietly asked if he was a good father, conclusion: kids can be cruel…

Please don’t hate me, i guarantee this hurt me more than it hurt you

Konoha Akinori:

You had brought out old videos from Konoha and yours high school years, wanting to show them to your kids since they were curious. And you and Konoha had wanted to trip down memory lane anyway.

You had chosen a game of Fukurodani vs Nekoma, since those were always good ones.

Your kids were more than entertained to watch it, since dad had long hair?!?!?

They also liked seeing some familiar faces, like Komi and Saru and others obviously.

But one of your children found a specific moment a little...too funny.

It had been a rough match, and a close one as Konoha had remembered it. Akaashi had been subbed out after a ball caught his nail, Washio had very minorly twisted his ankle, and Bokuto had already gone through 2 emo modes, the 3rd not far away.

Konoha had been getting over a cold, he was no longer sick but he wasn’t at 100% yet, so he wasn’t completely in it.

Not to mention he had to make up for the absence of both Akaashi AND Washio.

It was half way through the second set, he was in the back and Yamamoto was up to spike, only Konoha wasn’t expecting Yamamoto not to hit and instead for Kuroo to come up from the back, meaning the ball his Konoha right in the face, knocking him down on his butt.

You all kinda laughed at that part, I mean, who wouldn’t? (don’t lie-)

But what you didn’t expect was a full on demonic cackle coming from your 3 year old who was sat in between you and your husband.

It wasn’t a chuckle, or even a laugh, IT DIDN’T EVEN SOUND LIKE YOUR 3 YEAR OLD!!

It was...unsettling, and when she bounced back not 2 minutes later, you snuck a glance over to your husband, who was slowly scooting away.

Kita Shinsuke:

Kita came in from the fields, closing the door and slipping off his shoes, stretching his hands above his head as he groaned.

He smiled when he heard little foot steps echoing through out the hallway, watching as his little girl ran towards him and into his arms.

He smiled wider when you walked out of the nursery, little baby in your arms as you came up to him and gave him a kiss.

Time skip to dinner that night, all 4 of you are sat at the dinner table.

Kita is sat at his usual spot on the end, you sitting to his right as his daughter sat to his left, you feeding the baby.

He put down his fork to rub his neck, fingers trying to work out the knots that had formed over the past few days.

“You know, granny and I are going to get massages this weekend, why don’t you join us? Gin said he’d be willing to watch the kids.” Kita smiled towards you as he nodded.

“That’d probably be a good idea, thanks honey”

You nodded as you continued to feed your youngest, sending silly faces and smiling at her little giggles.

Kita was about to continue eating when his oldest daughter asked him a question.

“Hey daddy? Why do you need a mass-age.” He chuckled at the way his daughter said massage, going back to eating.

“I’m goin’ cause my neck is sore sweetheart, it’s just from work, nothin’ to worry bout.”

Your daughter nodded, returning her attention to her plate as well.

“So, basically, daddy’s just really, really old.”

You turned away so your husband wouldn’t see your smile, and it worked until you snorted and started laughing.

His small glare towards you only making you laugh harder.

“It’s not bad daddy, you’re just really old, but s’okay, I still love you.”

He shook his head, eating the rest of his dinner with a pout as your daughter carried on like nothing happened and you explained why she shouldn’t say those things.

Suna Rintaro:

Suna was sat on the couch with his oldest son and daughter, watching a movie.

Obviously it wasn’t scary or inappropriate for children, I mean, it was a kids movie. But he had to admit, this one was cutting it a little close.

He would have turned it off but...it really wasn’t that bad and the kids were sitting quietly and watching it, so he figured it’d be okay.

His kids weren’t exactly squeamish, and they didn’t scare easy, but they were also only 8 and 6, so he wasn’t going to risk it.

He also didn’t want to risk it with you, he had a comfy bed and he’d prefer to continue to sleep in it😊

Sometime after the half way point of the movie, a scene came up that was questionably violent for a kids movie. There wasn’t any gore or anything, but it wasn’t a clean death either.

He reached for the remote to change it when his kids started giggling.

Not like uncomfortable awkward chuckles, I mean real and sincere laughter...AND SOME DUDE HAD JUST DIED?!?!?!

Suna texted you with a ‘please help, our children are demons’ as he tried to return his focus to the movie and not his snickering children.

Ushijima Wakatoshi:

Ushijima had just picked 3 of his kids up from school, and was taking them home.

His 2 oldests were talking to each other about school while his youngest (of the 3, not in all), just sat quietly and listened to the radio.

His oldest had asked about his day, and Ushijima told him all about his practice and the practice games they played.

The 2 oldests were entranced, and loved hearing about the sport, his middlest however did not.

It’s not like he hated the sport, but it wasn’t really for him. He much preferred martial arts to volleyball, which was fine with Ushijima, at least his son was happy!

Anyway, Ushijima and his 2 oldests started to talk all about volleyball, the middlest looking confused.

“Wait, why is it like that?” Ushijima peaked in the rearview mirror, “It’s the rules, like how there are rules in Jujitsu.”

Your middlest turned towards the window, “Yeah, but Jujitsu is cool, volleyball sucks.”

Ushijima almost crashed, and it wasn’t long before he got home, pulled into the drive way, parked, and turned to face his middlest with a face that said ‘where did I go wrong…?’

His son just turned to face him, “What?” Ushijima shook his head, turned off the car and headed inside.

When he got inside and walked past you, all you heard was him muttering ‘no child of mine will say that about…’ as he headed straight for the bedroom to lie down.

Yahaba Shigeru:

Yahaba was walking around the living room, sorting through the mail as he separated bills and important things from junk mail.

He had been working in his office all day, doing paper work and what not, and right now he had his ear buds in since he was technically in a work meeting. (muted with the camera off cause how else do you do things virtual?)

So he was completely unsuspecting of his two sons as they snuck up behind him, both holding nerf guns in their hands as they crept closer and closer.

Yahaba had paused, slipping his phone out of his pocket as he started to talk to his coworkers about something when all of a sudden the unmistakable whirring of the automatic nerf gun started.

Before he could even turn around his sons had open fired right on their dad, Yahaba yelping as he started to run, grabbing a pillow from the couch as he fumbled with his phone, desperately trying to mute himself between being pelted with nerf bullets.

“ACK- hEy! You two! Quit it!-” He had made himself a shield out of the couch cushions, finally getting his phone and apologizing to his giggling coworkers, he wasn’t in trouble obviously, the distraction and entertainment was a gift to them all.

The meeting then finally ended, and Yahaba turned to find his sons searching for bullets, him shaking his head as he walked towards them.

“Nice try boys, but I collected the bullets as you shot me, so there’ll be no more of that.” His youngest shrugged as he then decided to instead throw the toy at Yahaba, his oldest then hitting him with it as he shrieked and made his way to the master bedroom.

Iwaizumi Hajime:

You and Iwaizumi had 3 boys.

3 boys who were close in age and high in energy, never a great combo when they’re stuck indoors because of the rain.

You had been taking a nap due to a weather-related head ache, while Iwaizumi did some work from home.

He had heard some questionable sounds coming from the basement, but he didn’t pay them any mind, figuring they were just being kids.

That is until he heard a distinct ‘ow!’ from his middlest.

Walking down the stairs he could hear his youngest chanting something like ‘fight! Fight! Fight!’ which obviously made him move faster.

He rounded the corner to see his oldest and middlest in the middle of a circle, each with one of his boxing gloves on as they circled each other.

“The heck are you guys doing??” They all turned to face him, that was when he noticed they had drawn on themselves to, what he guessed, look like pro-wrestlers, the basement was also a mess.

“Having a cage match, it’s 2 for 2 so far, this round decides the world-class-gladiator-basement-fight-to-the-death match, and the loser gets sacrificed.”

He almost let it go as his boys were being normal boys, until the last part hit him.

“Wait- what?! Sacrificed to who?!” His son giggled, “I don’t know, it’s only pretend, daddy.” Deciding he could no longer bear their empty stares he made them clean up the basement before spending the next 1 ½ hours cleaning off marker.

Futakuchi Kenji:

You guys had taken your 3 girls to the park to have a play-date/picnic with Aone and his wife/kids.

You were sitting and chatting away with his wife, while Aone and Futakuchi talked about their high school days, Aone gladly telling Futakuchi’s embarrassing moments.

Your youngest daughter was 3, and so far it has proven to be the worst of any age they had experienced yet.

Or rather...he had experienced yet.

For you, she was a perfect little angel, sweet and giggly, super cuddly and very much a momma’s girl.

But towards her daddy? She held nothing but malice. She would often smack him and run away to you giggling, or scrunch her nose up at him when he tried to get a hug or kiss.

You guys didn’t know what brought on this sudden hatred, but you were sure it would pass someday.

Your baby girl had waddled up to the picnic blanket and plopped herself down on your lap, playing with some nearby grass as the more adults continued to talk.

Deciding to try his luck, Futakuchi got the attention of your daughter.

“Hey, why don’t you come sit in Daddy’s lap.”

Your daughter turned towards him and shook her head, “No.”

Futakuchi pouted, “Why not?” Your little girl huffed as she only turned her head this time.

“Because I don’t even like you dada.” She then plopped her head back down on your chest while you and Mrs. Aone started laughing and Futakuchi’s face showed only pain.

“hEy! I helped make you, the least you can show me is some gratitude!” Your youngest only stuck her tongue out at him, causing an audible chuckle out of Aone and more pain for Futakuchi.

Daishou Suguru:

When you and Daishou had your first child, your daughter, you never had a hard time getting her to sleep.

But for some reason, lately she had been getting out of her bed in the middle of the night, with seemingly no reason.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Daishou loves his little girl.

But sometimes...kids can be creepy, and yours were no different.

When she woke up at these awful hours of the night, she’d just go to you guys’ room and...stand there...she wouldn’t say anything, just stand there with her teddy bear in one arm and the other hanging limply at her side.

It was almost 3 am, so naturally Daishou had long since been asleep.

He had just rolled over to the edge of the bed to grab some water when he almost screamed.

Standing right there was his daughter, just standing there, watching him.

He sat up, rubbing his eyes as he took a deep breath.

“I- go back to sleep, it’s late.” Your daughter just nodded, turned around, and walked out of your room and back into her own.

Heart still beating out of his chest he got his sip of water, laid back down and tried to go to sleep, which proved difficult with the blank stare of his child still stuck in his mind.

Numai Kazuma:

You, Numai, and your 4 children had taken a road trip as your big summer vacation.

Currently, you were all driving through this cute little town on the out skirts of one of the cities.

Two of your boys were sleeping, one reading his picture book, and your youngest and only girl was looking out the window.

You had taken a turn driving while Numai had taken a small nap, although he had woken up a little bit ago.

You guys had gotten to the outskirts of this small town, and were coming up on a cemetery.

Your daughter was 4, so she knew what a cemetery was. You guys weren’t too worried, she had grown up with 3 older brothers so things like bugs or ghost stories never really bothered her too much.

You and Numai had started talking to each other when you heard your daughter speak up.

“Hey mommy, hey daddy,” You took a peak into the rear-view mirror, your husband turning to look at his daughter.

“Yeah baby? What is it?” Your husband asked as he smiled towards his little girl.

Smiling, she turned towards the window and pointed to the cemetery.

“That’s where all the dead people are.”

Numai blinked as he just nodded and turned back around in his seat, slumping down as his eyes held a certain ‘deer in headlights’ look, slowly turning to see you as he pointed towards your daughter than to you.

“That came from your genes, not mine-” He winced when you slapped his arm, shaking your head as you too tried to erase the utter creepiness you were feeling after that.

Iizuna Tsukasa:

Iizuna yawned as he walked out of the master bedroom, having just woken up from a 3 hour nap.

Today had been a particularly intense game, which they had won, but had left him exhausted.

You were downstairs in the bathroom, working on washing the magic-marker your other children had put there off of your 10 month old baby while your 2 oldests were upstairs in time out where you left them.

Iizuna walked through the hallway, smiling as he heard his two oldests talking and playing. Or at least, it sounded like they were playing.

Recently, your oldest, your daughter who’s barely 4 and your son who just turned 2 had been bickering all the time, fighting over toys and had resorted to pinching.

When you had caught them and put them in time out, Iizuna was dead asleep, so he didn’t know his kids were supposed to be in timeout, and at the ages they were at it wasn’t unusual to see them play together.

Turning the corner his smile dropped as he sprinted towards his kids, watching in horror as his oldest pushed the middlest down the stairs, simply watching as her brother tumbled as Iizuna lost 10 years of his life.

Quickly scolding his daughter he ran down the stairs and carefully grabbed your son, who thankfully had no injuries, heart beating out of his chest as he sighed.

You, having heard tumbles and then tears, speedily rounded the corner with your now marker-free child in your arms.

It was safe to say neither of you knew how to respond to that, your oldest simply waving from the top of the stairs as Iizuna now has a significant amount of trauma.

[cuziloveyou7]

Festering feelings

Pairing: Bokuto Kōtarō x gn!reader

Wordcount: 1.7k

Warnings: angst, mentions of depression, anxiety and panic attacks. Also kind of mentioning eating disorder?

A/n: I know I said I don't like angst and stuff, but since I'm a walking angst piece right now... here ya go! I did it! Someone help me out bc idk how to do tw! If I missed something please tell me! Also please bare in mind that this is my first real fic after not having written anything for 7 years.

This is not proof read, I made this around 1.30am bc I had an idea.......

It was slow, very slow, yet very fast. The first thing that happened was just build up tension. You were mad, frustrated. You needed to vent but didn't want to bother anyone. You would usually confide in Bokuto but he was so busy. The Olympics were coming up and he was training so hard. Each time he came home he was even more tired than the day before and the day before that. So you just did what you always do, suck it up and keep your mouth shut.

-----------

You were slipping. You felt it gradually happening. Not like the times before, when for the most part you didn't know what was happening. No this time you knew.

A week. That's all you could handle. Slipping up here and there, mentioning tiny details to your best friends. Until eventually you just wanted to scream on top of your lungs on the highest building you could find at that moment. Luckily one of your friends caught on and asked you out for a walk around the park.

The two of you talked for hours. Finally getting it off your chest. It felt like such a relief. You felt like the situation was under control again. Nothing wrong. A false alarm? Or maybe just in time before the damage was out of anyone control.

Another week passed. You absorbed yourself in work, house duties and watched some episodes of your favourite anime. You cherished the little time you could spend with Bokuto and loved the stories he would tell you about the team. Your best friend also checked in on you, because they were still worried about you even though you brushed them off saying all was well.

But that nasty tiny feeling inside you was still there. A little unconscious, but festering each day, oh so slowly.

It started with getting tired more often. You blamed it on work. But even on your days off, you would wake up feeling exhausted. You would be so drained even when you did nothing but watch TV or play games to pass the time.

The next thing that happened made you more aware of your situation. Your friend asked you to go out for a walk again. You guys talked, gave an update on what was bothering you but switched the topic to an update about your friend's life. While they were telling you about their life you noticed you weren't exactly paying attention. Your mind wandering off to nowhere, zoning out of the conversation. You felt bad. Your friend had been there for you, listening to all your problems and yet here you were not really paying attention to them.

The same goes for Bokuto. He would come home, ask you how your day was and continue with telling you about his. As much as you loved his stories about the antics of Hinata and Kageyama or the other players, you actually couldn't be bothered in the least. Responding with a 'really?', 'Oh yeah...', 'that's nice'.

Next came closing yourself off. You just wanted everything to get over with. Counting the minutes down for when you could finally go home from work and curl yourself in a blanket on the couch. When Bokuto came home you would usually be "too absorbed" in whatever was playing on the TV or you would already be in bed, blaming it on work or just being tired.

You started losing interest in all the things you liked. You couldn't occupy yourself anymore. The days became longer and longer. You started losing your appetite. Only eating when your body basically screamed for nutrition and even then you would sometimes ignore your own body's scream for food.

At some point, you were just so done. Not caring to force a smile on your face anymore. Plain up ignoring your friends when they texted you. And when Bokuto would come home. The lights would already be out and you would lay in bed with the covers over your head and your back facing him.

Usually, Bokuto picks up very fast on your moods and emotions. Having gone through his well famous emo modes when he was younger. The two of you were always open and honest with your feelings and emotion towards each other. It was something you guys as a couple prided yourselves on.

It was also something you especially needed. Having gone through horrible panic attacks, anxiety and depression. Talking yourself down was/is also something your very good at. And Bokuto picked up on that very quickly when you just started dating.

To some Bokuto seems very carefree and not aware of his surroundings. But in actuality, he's very emotionally intelligent. So he struck up a conversation you would've never guessed you'd have on one of your many dates. Bokuto eased you into it, told you about his emo modes and made you comfortable enough to let you open up about your experiences. This actually helped you go past the blockade that was stopping you from making this relationship official.

But with Bokuto training for the upcoming Olympics and him being away from home more often than not, it was easier to go unnoticed for him and easier for you to slip and fall into a deeper depression.

After weeks of walking around like a zombie, you finally broke down. You had a day off. When you woke up Bokuto was already gone. He texted you later that day saying he would sleep at the training centre because training would go on longer than normal.

It had been a beautiful day, the weather was nice, the sun had been shining, the warmth of summer started to peek through. It would have made you giddy had it not been for the nasty pest growing bigger and bigger inside you. When dusk came you felt it bubbling up. You tried really hard to ignore it. Tried to soothe it with some episodes of your comfort anime. Tried to pick yourself up and pamper yourself with some extra steps in your skincare routine but it was all in vain. Once you stepped inside your shared bedroom you felt the tears trickling down your face. Through your tears you searched for your earbuds, plugging them in and searching for the best sad songs playlist you could find. Shutting off the lights as you lay down in the middle of the bed.

At first, you just lay there, looking up at the ceiling, silent tears streaming down your temple, past your ears into your hair. You felt the tears slowly make their way past your scalp until they finally touched the soft pillow behind your head. You turned your head getting uncomfortable from the feeling of your tears. The pillow your head lay on smelled like him, it's smelled like everything you loved, comforted, his favourite shower gel, a hint of sweat, it smelled like warm sunbeams on an early summer morning, it smelled nice. This made you break down in sobs, which became louder the longer you went on. You stuffed your face in his pillow, threw the covers around you, trying to silence your sobs and screams. They were too loud for you, agonising pain shot through you. You felt alone. Spiralling deeper into a dark hole that was your mind.

-----------

When Bokuto stepped inside your shared apartment he tried to be as silent as he could. The lights were out, a sign that you would probably be asleep already. While trying to get his shoes off Bokuto debated whether or not he should wake you up. He noticed you being unusually tired and sleeping earlier than you normally would. He looked at the clock hanging on the wall, 9.04 pm. A soft smile crossed his features. Maybe he was a bit selfish but he decided to wake you and tell you about his surprise day off coach gave the team. Shuffling around in the dark apartment trying not to bump into any furniture he neared the bedroom door.

The smile Bokuto had on his face disappeared in an instance. His heart dropped when he heard your muffled sobs. You sounded tired. As if you had been crying for a while now. Bokuto rested his head against the door, gripping the handle until his knuckles turned white. How could he not have noticed it before? Sure he was busy, but he always noticed when you started feeling down. Was he not paying attention to you? Had he been too absorbed in his own world? Why didn't you tell him anything? You guys told each other everything. What got you down like this so bad you wouldn't open up to anyone, not even him. But most of all, he was angry, angry at himself for letting it get this far.

But right now that wasn't important. What's most important is you. Without further hesitation Bokuto softly opened the door and stepped towards the bundled up form on the bed.

---------

You felt a cold rush of the air when your blankets lifted up from you. Goosebumps made their way onto your skin. But it wasn't long before you felt a comfortable warmth surround you. Nothing like the suffocating warmth from your blankets. Two strong arms held your body. You didn't have to look up to see who the arms belonged to.

No words were spoken between the two of you. You started sobbing a little louder again until you felt the soft vibrations of Bokuto humming. Taking your earbuds out you looked up at the man 'Kou..' you sniffle softly, but before you could continue Bokuto laid your head back on his chest and started petting your head 'It's okay now. I'm here. Let's just stay like this okay? We'll talk tomorrow' he gave your head a soft kiss before continuing humming again.

Tired from all the crying combined with the soft vibrations coming from Bokuto humming you closed your eyes. Your worries drifted away, tomorrow was another day. You would tell Bokuto everything. But for now, you felt content, safe in his arms. The bad feelings slowly subsiding for at this moment, he was your light, he was the warmth you were desperately searching for, he is your home.

[gaitwae]

Wildest Dreams [|] Loki x Reader

Sequel to Mr. Perfectly Fine

Warnings: 

Summary: Loki remembers what he’s done to you. You work through the hurt, deciding not to rush whatever’s really going on.

Tags: @make-me-imagine @thorfanficwriter @bwemph @myraiswack @rorybutnotgilmore @loki-snape-our-hero @wolfish-trickster @lucywrites02 @mostly-marvel-musings @winterfrostsarmy @superheroesandstardust @castiels-majestic-wings @geekns @natandersonnla @cozy-the-overlord @megthemewlingquim @frostedgiant @whatafuckingdumbass @thebookbakery @delightfulheartdream @twhiddlestonsstuff @lokistan @the-emo-asgardian @amwolowicz @itscomplicatedx @sophlubbwriting​ @darkacademicfrom2021 @lilyofthesword 

It was absolutely safe to say that when your eyes opened, you were scared out of your mind. Loki was sleeping on your couch, his fingers laced with yours. Vaguely, all too quickly, you realized that accepting his dashing-yet-blunt proposal wasn’t a fantasy.

Hurt bubbled up in your chest. Your eyes stung dully as you removed your hand from his. You checked his temperature: it was low. He was drunk. He was sitting on your couch with your smudged lip color on his. He did think you were engaged now, despite the fact that you were quickly realizing how bad that was.

Loki hurt you.

Loki hurt you real bad.

You couldn’t marry this man, no matter how much you might have wanted to those years ago. You never would have said yes! Loki just... he seemed so sad. He had never cried in front of you, not if you didn’t count Frigga’s funeral, and even then, that wasn’t anything like... well... that display. His tears were like salt in the wound, laughing right at you. You put some distance between the two of you. You cleaned his mouth off with your sleeve, wondering how on Earth you were going to explain this to Bucky.

Oh, no.

Bucky.

Bucky was going to have to hear Loki’s hungover insistance that you were now his fiancée. He was also going to have to hear about how you kissed Loki back. You had to be honest. You had to call your boyfriend. There was no skipping over the truth when you were dating a lawyer, no matter how much you wanted to avoid it.

It was better that he heard it from you rather than the ex boyfriend laying on your couch.

You dialed Bucky’s number. He picked up quickly. “Baby, are you okay?”

“Bucky, Loki came over,” you said quickly, “and he was drunk... he, uh, kissed me, and he proposed to me because apparently you were planning on asking me to marry you?” You swallowed, trying to think of how to redeem yourself. “I got so swept up with emotion from the past, I said yes, I didn’t mean to, but Loki was already crying and I needed him to calm down — he’s — he’s asleep, but if he starts getting protective by the time you come home, I’m so sorry—!”

“Wait,” Bucky said, cutting you off. “Baby, explain this again. Calmly, okay?” He didn’t sound too worried. Then again, this might be the quiet before the storm.

“Loki came by our house, drunk. He was crying, and I got nervous. He kissed me, proposed, and then asked me to marry him. I didn’t know what to do, so I said yes. I’m so, so sorry....”

“Well, you’re not going to marry him, are you?” he asked, sad humor slipping in. Your heart sank.

“I don’t know,” you mumbled. You didn’t mean to say it out loud, but hey? What could you do? You held the phone to your ear gingerly, keeping an eye on Loki’s sleeping form. “I-I mean, no. No.”

The anger slowly started to build. You understood it. You hoped he would be mad at you instead of Loki. “You don’t know? Or ‘no’? What is it?”

“James, it isn’t like that,” you protested. You bit your tongue and your cheek. If the world was perfect, you would have married Loki like you were set on. You would have had children with him, by now. As you spoke, you found you weren’t faced with the possibility of losing Bucky, but the possibility of throwing away your decade-old dreams. “I swear. I don’t want to marry anybody, right now. I don’t. I couldn’t.”

“Why couldn’t you? What if I did propose, Y/N?” Defensive. Protective. Angry. Hurt. Why? Had Loki been right? 

You hadn’t ever talked about marrying Bucky. You couldn’t imagine that life. “Bucky, can we save this for later?” you begged through the phone. “Please, I’m worried about Loki; he’s never drunk himself stupid before.” You scratched your neck. In your wildest dreams, you had never imagined falling back into Loki’s temptation.

You had finally woken up clean, and he had to try to bring you back down.

“Y/N?” he asked after a moment. Barnes sounded hollow. Hollow, but understanding. There was a shuffle over the phone and you couldn’t tell what it was. Was he leaving? Was he moving around? Would he forgive you?

“Yeah?” you managed. 

“You still love him. Don’t you?” 

Your tongue was glued to the roof of your mouth. Your tears welled up. No wonder you were able to be friends with Loki. No wonder you weren’t able to just forget about him. With an ocean of regret in your voice, you admitted, “I don’t want to.”

James sighed. “Okay. Well, we can talk things through at home... I know you didn’t mean for anything to happen, I know you’ve been as faithful as you can be. You wouldn’t be calling and crying otherwise.” He sniffed. “I shouldn’t have planned a proposal without clearing it with you. We haven’t talked about marriage.”

“Bucky, if I do ever marry, I don’t want you to worry if it’s you or Loki. I don’t even know if I want to marry anyone. Loki clearly has feelings for me, I can’t just pretend that I don’t have remaining feelings when he could very well keep coming by... Gosh.” You sat down in a chair. You looked at your left hand, which had no ring on it. It was bare. 

“I’ll head home,” Bucky said. “Sit tight. Bye.”

“Bye.” You hung up the phone. You held your head in your hands, silently cursing yourself for being the world’s biggest pushover. Your ex waltzed in, gave off a teary show, and then pleaded for your heart like he was on death row, and you listened. Were you an idiot? What kind of mistake were you making? Could you up and leave Bucky for some tool who could change his mind as quickly as he had four years ago?

You sat there for what seemed like hours; it was probably only one or two, considering how long Bucky’s firm was from your home. Your boyfriend eventually stepped through the door and pulled you into his arms, millions of apologies being swapped between the two of you. 

You sat at the table and talked for almost three hours. Every now and then, it was bordering an argument, but you both kept your cool. Bucky knew how hard you were trying to be there for him, to be his, but when it came down to it, you were always Loki’s. You had a raw wound. You knew how much Bucky wanted to be yours, but as it turned out, he was proposing because it seemed like what was expected of him. Through the conversation, you learned that maybe it was smarter to take a break, maybe stay roommates, and try to exist as friends again.

“If Loki makes you happy,” Bucky whispered, “then I think you should try again. He’s changed; he’s made changes for you. He’s been good to you. We’ve been barely getting by these past months.”

“I know,” you replied. “But I’m not going to turn around and just run after him. That’s not smart. You’re still in my life, Buck.”

“All I see is you,” he murmured.

“I know,” you said again.

Bucky stood up. “I’m going to stay at Steve’s tonight, doll. Um... make sure Loki has water when he wakes up. Give him a good tongue-thrashing for me.” He offered a weak smile.

You sniffled. “Take whatever you need. I’ll be up playing nurse — don’t worry about anything.”

Bucky nodded. “Got it.” He scratched his nose. “I’ll drop by in the morning and see if there’s anything I can help with.”

+-+--

When Loki woke up, the headache was the first thing he complained of. “Y/N?” he groaned. You were sitting next to him, hands tucked under your arms. You were gazing down at him, watching his face as his expression changed from pained to embarrassed. “Please tell me what happened was just a fever dream...”

You shook your head. “You proposed to me.”

“You said ‘yes’,” he breathed, slapping a hand to his forehead. “Oh, my Norns. I’m so sorry; you don’t have to marry me. I was an idiot. I shouldn’t have even come by — I walked from the bar, in the rain, with only the thought of taking you back...”

“I figured,” you chuckled lightly. You didn’t meet his eyes. You played with the hem of your shirt. “Bucky and I might break up, though. You told on him. His planned proposal, I mean.” 

“You aren’t breaking up because of me, are you?”

“No; not entirely. I’m still... You’re trouble, you know that? I’m going to get a reputation.”

“You need one,” Loki joked. “People will be less likely to take advantage of you, then. Odinson’s Wife — the Terrifying Maiden.”

“I’m no maiden,” you said, rolling your eyes. “I’m still upset from our breakup. That’s why Bucky and I are thinking about calling it quits. I wasn’t over you when I thought I was, so just shut up and drink some water.” You handed him a glass. “You can’t hold your liquor, you know.”

Loki took it gingerly. “Oh, I hate how well you know me,” he sighed, taking a long sip. “Do I get some aspirin?”

“No.” You crossed your arms. “You said you’ve been carrying Frigga’s ring in your pocket since she died?”

“I did?” He furrowed his brows. “That’s right, I did... I’ve been keeping it for you, I must admit.”

“You said.”

Loki sat up, taking your hand. “I have your picture in my wallet.”

“You what?” You blinked. “You didn’t say that.” You scooted a little closer. 

“Well, no, I didn’t; I didn’t need you to drop my glass heart, now, did I?” Loki smirked a little. “You know it always has been you, lover.”

“I’m not your lover,” you said exasperatedly. 

Loki kissed your cheek. Although you pushed him off once or twice, he managed to snake his arms around your waist and hang on you. “Not yet. I will marry you, whatever it takes.”

+-+--

Sidewalk chalk was an odd Christmas tradition with Thor’s kids. It was another three years after Loki’s drunken proposal, and you and Bucky eventually sorted it out and found you were both much, much happier. Bucky married Sarah Wilson, taking her two boys as his own stepchildren. You were still in the grey area with Loki, but you wouldn’t deny that you were about ready to scream if he didn’t at least try to pop the question.

“Y/N, darling, I brought you something!” Loki’s voice came from upstairs. Thor’s house was large, and the wife he had picked opted to be a stay-at-home mother while the toddlers were toddling. He poked his head out from the upstairs balcony and grinned at you like a madman. 

“What did you bring me?” you asked, arching your brow at your boyfriend-but-not-really. He stomped down the stairs, thrusting a little blue bag in your hands.

“I’ve brought glad tidings. I’ve come to free you~” he teased, poking your sides. “My undying affection. My most-ardent love for you—”

“—Can it, tell me what it is,” you said, cutting him off. Loki pulled you flush against his chest, peppering your cheek with kisses.

“I want you to imagine us... you, standing in a nice dress, me, staring at you staring at the sunset,” he whispered, lacing your fingers. “Happy Christmas, darling.”

“What is it?” you pressed, looking in the bag. It was a little picture of a house. “What?”

“That’s our home, sweetheart,” Loki said, resting his head on top of yours. “We’ll live there after the wedding, raise our children...”

“You’re still trying to get me to marry you?” you asked.

“We’ve been engaged for three years!” he scolded playfully. “Not even in your wildest dreams, I would not be trying to make you my wife.”

“What if I am your wife?”

“I’ll try to marry you again!” he laughed, kissing you sweetly. 

[aerltarg]

Maybe this is a stupid question, buuuuut:

I just can't imagine a world that Rhaegar comes back from the Trident, wins the war and becomes king. No, I'm not a anti Rhaegar, matter of fact I like him very much, I'm just can imagine how would Lya, little Jon, this whole affair, would settle in the capital. The norm that fics (at least those I read) tend to follow is to make Rhaegar:

1. A douche, paranoid and destiny-obessed king.

2. Completely incompetent, aloof monarch, that deep down has a heart of gold, but can't really be understood.

I mean, isn't he supposed to be a scholar since he was a kid? What's are your thoughts about it?

oh, yeah, i can totally understand this! it's is the whole point in canon actually, "the wrong man came back from the trident". you would expect a hero win against his antagonist and have a happy ending w his lady love but it doesn't happen. instead the subversion happens to them with rhaegar being killed by robert who becomes obviously a shitty king and lyanna dying after him. they were never supposed to have happy ending, they were created as tragic and doomed and dead from the beginning for the whole plot to start, jon to have his parentage mystery and dany to take the passed baton as the last dragon, prophesied savoir and the heir who has to carry entire house on her back now.

as for the realistic rhaegar wins aus that's the difficult question. tbh we just don't know enough abt their situation, plans and wishes. you see, e.g. in agot we can be right in ned's head and see his motivations, what he was thinking abt, what he was planning, what he was hoping to do. but if his story was told the way rhaegar's was i bet he would have his own crowd of haters and ~intellectuals~ jumping out every two seconds w their "hot takes" how actually all hints abt what rlly happened (ned being a good man w his own sense of honour, justice and experiences affecting him and the deal w cersei's children) doesn't matter and he was an ambitious prick, planned to grasp the power by being joffrey's regent and make his daughter sansa queen. (you can actually insert there any bullshit and still don't reach the level of stupidity of such "hot takes" this fandom loves so much lmao). also he would be blamed to the hell and beyond for being too stupid and not foreseeing the future and actions of other ppl bc ofc after everything happened it's so easy to say what was so obvious to notice. also they would say that the deaths of his men and horrible fates of his kids are 100% his fault and even straight up say he killed them lmao. i can rant abt it for hours so yeah. this is a situation w too many unknown variables bc it depends too much on actions of too many characters we don't know enough abt. the only thing it's possible to tell for sure is the fact that there couldn't be any perfect solutions since things got too complicated at this point.

such fics as you've mentioned tho are just a part of this dumb fanon where rhaegar is "too prophecy obsessed"/"incapable of love"/shrodinger's rhaegar both smart and stupid at the same time/whatever/all of this combined lmfao. the man was notably intelligent from the early age as you've absolutely rightly mentioned, his guesses abt himself being tptwp have nothing to do w egocentrism as some parts of the fandom would want us all to believe unless he wouldn't be so reasonable abt it and later on, after so many years, wouldn't have changed his mind and thought his son could be tptwp.

and literally fuck all antis that think you shouldn't consider prophecies that hold real power in this fantasy world lol. you know, aegon the conqueror was said to be motivated (or at least partly) to unify westeros by the prophecy and still got the treatment of perfect/maximum close to perfect figure of a leader everyone should look up to from the narrative and grrm. prophecy obsessed much, huh? i don't even talk abt all these parallels between him and rhaegar grrm put there not for bitches to ignore them completely! and i will never get tired of reminding that dismissing prophecies is UNWISE for targaryens of all people. the house whose story is built on the dream of young daenys and her father aenar that listened to her despite common sense (or what local "anti magic"/"anti prophecies" clowns consider to be common sense). targs would be as dead as the rest of dragonlords if not for daenys the dreamer. who else in the world has as many reasons to take prophecies seriously as them?

yet antis out there act as if rhaegar is one dimensional weirdo whose every character trait is abt mf ~prophecy obsession~. like how can they miss one of the main points so badly?? the game of thrones distracts ppl from the real danger beyond the wall, yk, the one rhaegar was aware of and meant to deal with. there wouldn't be such a problem if he became king and had as many years of head start before ice zombies apocalypse as ignorant bobby b did. rhaegar had to die just for westeros to sink in shit and our main heroes to save everyone to make this story more epic LMAO

so yeah, too many ppl portray rhaegar as this one dimensional robotic creature without any knowledge of what feelings are idk even for what reason. it seems these ppl can't read for real bc rhaegar was not only intelligent af as well as dutiful ("it seems i must be a warrior" but "he loved his harp more than his lance") but also. ugh emotional?? my boy had constant emo sessions w brooding at ruins of summerhall, sleeping out there beneath the stars all alone and writing songs that made all women cry. does it sound as someone who "isn't capable of love" lol? folks act as if he was completely heartless from the day he was born (bc he didnt play w other kids ig??) but in reality their emotional range is less than the one of a spoon in comparison to rhaegar's lol. i'm not even gonna address the horrible attitude of demonizing him for his implied depression, vile clowns never listen to themselves when they talk abt targaryens and their "madness".

tldr; these fics are mostly lame af and suck at characterization if they're making rhaegar like that lol. anyway his character isn't abt being a good or a bad king, it's abt being a would-be-king for characters in books and readers in reality to sigh over his tragic aura and pretty aesthetic abt how it could've been. however, grrm clearly doesn't write rhaegar as evil or incapable as some parts of the fandom would want to try to persuade others. realistically speaking in the scenario where he wins there couldn't be any perfect decisions but it's a territory of speculations on thin air and lit nothing more since canon doesn't provide us with enough information to rlly theorize anything instead of building biased headcanons some ppl call "analysis".

but remember what barristan said about rhaegar while practically watching him all his life, from a literal baby to the man grown:

“I know little of Rhaegar. Only the tales Viserys told, and he was a little boy when our brother died. What was he truly like?”

The old man considered a moment. “Able. That above all. Determined, deliberate, dutiful, single-minded.” (ASOS, Daenerys I)

“Prince Rhaegar’s prowess was unquestioned, but he seldom entered the lists. He never loved the song of swords the way that Robert did, or Jaime Lannister. It was something he had to do, a task the world had set him. He did it well, for he did everything well. That was his nature. But he took no joy in it. Men said that he loved his harp much better than his lance.” (ASOS, Daenerys IV)

[the-sympathetic-villain]

U!patton and Remus for the Remus prompt. my friend and I had an idea where Patton forces Remus to wear a muzzle so he can’t talk

Okay, I don't know how to write short prompts so I went a little overboard on this. I also threw in some protective Janus just for fun. Anyways, I hope you enjoy it! <3

Pure Thoughts

Description: Remus makes his way over to the light side of the Mindscape to patch up his relationship with Virgil, but he doesn't quite make it to his friend.

Characters: Remus, Patton, Janus, Virgil and Logan Mentioned Pairings: Platonic Dukeciet Word Count: 3256 Warnings: Remus-Type Content (Sexual Innuendo, Somewhat Graphic Descriptions, Etc), Threats, Attempted Erasing of a Side, Swearing, Death mention, Angst with a happy ending, Hurt/Comfort, Unsympathetic Patton (Let me know if I missed anything!)

---

Remus poked his head into the dim, empty corridor of the mindscape, pausing to check for the other sides before tiptoeing around the corner. Any other night, he'd be making his way down the hall with cymbals on the feet and a kazoo in his mouth, but tonight was the night to be covert. For once, he was actually trying not to be noticed, and notably, he was succeeding. Which was as perfectly satisfying as his pet eldritch demon's tentacle slime, because the last time he'd made one of his more spectacular entrances in their shared spaces, the Microsoft Nerd™ had nearly blown a gasket.

He'd lectured Remus for nearly forty-five minutes about ‘optimal sleep schedules’ and ‘the importance of brushing your teeth’ or whatever the dork had been saying. Quite frankly, Remus hadn't been listening. Learning from his mistakes wasn't exactly his jam, and if nerdy Wolverine’s brain was too full of Crofter’s to have realized that, that seemed like a him problem.

Besides, that was the past. Right now, the future seemed so much juicer. His fabulously favorite emo had eased up on his prickly sarcasm enough to give him a chance to talk things out, and as ambivalent as he may pretend to be, he wasn’t going to pass on the opportunity to make amends with his old friend. He wanted to salvage any small piece of their damaged relationship, so here he was, sneaking into the light sides' half of the mindscape to duke it out with his anxious nightmare.

The only challenge left was passing the other light sides’ rooms. Virgil's room of course had of course moved to the farthest corner of their space, making it the most difficult to reach without being noticed. Of course, he could make it easy if he cut across the common room. That way,  he'd miss Roman’s room entirely and the only one he'd have to worry about was—

“Hey, kiddo.”

Remus head spun on his shoulder to the sound of Patton’s voice. The usually friendly father figure's familiar voice filled the room with a soft kind of seriousness that sent shivers down Remus' spine. The chill in Patton's voice was new and unsettling, but still, Remus cracked a cocky grin as he stared into the shadows and waited for Patton's lecture. After a moment, the lamp on the far side of the room clicked on to reveal a seriously scary looking frown on Patton’s face. Remus straightened upright as a tingling of fear crept up his arms. The creep factor of the amber lighting alone would have put Remus' own efforts to shame, but this was Patton.

Pun-loving, puppy cuddling Patton.

Patty boy’s harmless.

Right?

Remus swallowed nervously before summoning up his usual carefree front and staggering across the soft carpet. “Hey, Padre. Sorry, if you were looking for a late night suck, but I'm actually in a bit of a hurry. Maybe later—”

“Language, Remus.”

Remus stalled at the coldness in Patton’s tone. He licked his lips. The hostility in the air was nearly palpable as Remus stared across the room, trying to get a gauge on this new side Patton. It wasn't often one of the other sides left Remus speechless, but he was unsure of how to react to such an open display of hostility, especially from the side whose entire being was rigged toward being nurturing. Oh, well. There wasn't much else for him to do and he was on a schedule tonight. Remus let out a breath, falling back on familiar habits as an attempt to cover his exit. “Don't get your panties in a bunch, Patty daddy. I know you’re not the type blow and go without a sticky emotional mess, but you don’t have to worry—”

“You’re not going, Remus.”

Remus’ grin faltered at the finality in Patton’s voice, biting his lip as he eyed the direction of Virgil's room. “Um, what?”

“Virgil’s been doing so good.” Patton growled as he rose to his feet. Remus' feet felt like lead holding him in place while Patton moved to block his way. “I finally got my kiddo realizing how toxic you are to him and I’m not going to let you play with him anymore.”

Remus' mustache twitched with displeasure at the insinuation, though a part of him wasn't denying Patton's brusque statement. “Listen, Pattycake. As well as you play the daddy dom role, Virgil asked for me to come and I don’t see where this is your business, so I'll just be—"

“Virgil needs help knowing what's good for him.” Patton continued as a deep hatred started to burn in his eyes. “and that isn't you, Remus.”

Remus brushed him off, starting towards the door. He'd only made it a few steps before Patton waved his hand the door disappeared. Defensiveness turned to frustration as he reeled on Patton. “You can't just—”

“Go back to the whole where you belong before force you into your place.”

Remus froze as Patton's stomp connected with the ground, sending a shiver across his skin as the particles of his body destabilized. A choking breath caught in his throat and his hands shot to his chest in a manic frenzy as his body solidified again. He glanced up at the dangerous sparkle in Patton's eye. Remus was alive for now, but he got the feeling Patton wasn’t done with him yet.

“Hold on, Pat. Let's talk about this—” A bead of sweat dripped down Remus temple as he began stepping away from the door. His hands lingered in the air as he tried to reason with Patton. “—I thought we were good. The human pocket protector told you it was best to play nice with me. I get you don't like me, and it don’t have to be an orgy or nothing, but you can't just piss all over the nerd's hypoth—”

“Shut up.”

Remus sucked in a sharp breath as a black, leather muzzle appeared over his face. The leather molded to his skin as his hands shot to his face in a sudden manic moment of fear. Desperately, he pulled at the leather with all the force he could muster as the glowing rage in Patton’s eyes slowly backed him into a corner.

“I'm sick of you bullying Logan and dragging Virgil down.” The lights in the room flickered as Patton cried out and shoved Remus to the ground. “I don't care what Thomas says or Logan thinks. You don’t deserve to stay. Thomas is better off without you."

Remus hesitated. His hands lingered on the muzzle as his eyes flitted the door back to his own room. He knew he could retreat to his own room, but the idea of letting Virgil think he’d stood him up gave him pause. The choice was made for him a moment later when  Patton’s power vibrated in the air and Remus let out a muffled cry as he felt his being wavering. The particles of his body began to weaken and fade as his resistance crumbled. He was unable to push back or even speak as Patton started to force him into the subconscious.

“Virgil will be disappointed when he realizes you forgot about him,” Patton whispered as Remus tipped his head up to meet the horrifying smile spread across Patton's face. “but he'll understand once you’re gone. I'll make sure he knows how bad you really are.”

Panic shot to Remus’ heart as he clutched at his fading body, choking as the muzzle as it grew tighter on his lips.

“I should have put that muzzle on you years ago." Patton’s laugh cracked in his ear. “Your silence is music to my ears. Finally, we can be good. Thomas can be good without you hear to ruin—"

“Is everything okay in here?”

Remus let out a heaving breath as his body hit the ground. He clutched his hands to his body, feeling around to make sure he was still fully there as Patton's grip loosened on him.

“Mind your own business, Janus.”

“Remus is my business. You made it clear years ago that he is my responsibility.” A flicker of worry flashed over Janus' eyes as Remus glanced up to him, but his gaze remained cold and distant as he maintained eye contact with Patton. “In fact, I think I'll be taking him now.”

Remus fingers raised to his lips as Patton’s muzzle fell away at Janus’ snap. His body was numb as Janus moved between him and Patton, extending a hand down to him. Remus swayed, staring at the fury in Patton's eyes as Janus pulled him to his feet.

“You have no right—”

“I think you'll find that I'm quite within my rights to do as I please.” Janus muttered as he absently brushed the dust from Remus’ shirt and shot a deathly glare at Patton. "but if you want to test that theory, I have no problem getting Thomas involved.”

Patton growled his discontent as Janus stepped forward to shield Remus from Patton's gaze. The silence hung over them, weighing heavy on Remus' shaking body, until the air shifted and Patton took a step back. “Keep him away from Virgil or I may not be so forgiving next time.”

“Don’t worry. You've won this battle, Morality, but I hope you know that Virgil will start to question your iron grip on him eventually. I taught him better than to simply follow others.” Janus muttered bitterly. His head bowed in reluctant acceptance of Patton's good grace, though his voice remained rebellious as their eyes remained locked together. “ He will not accept your word on blind faith.”

“Virgil will learn not to question me when he realizes how toxic you are to him. He can be molded into something better, unlike the cretin you're using so much of your dwindling energy to protect.” Patton spat as he turned to the door. “Now, go back to your hole before I change my mind."

“Remus, go.” Janus shoved him to the door.

“But—”

“For once in your life, don’t argue with me.” Janus muttered as he guided the shell-shocked Remus back to the dark sides' hallway. His voice dropped after a few steps and he glanced down at Remus. “Not a single word until he can't hear us. Got it?”

Remus nodded, still numb as Janus dragged him toward his own room. He could hear Janus’ breathing become heavy as he guided Remus through the narrowing hallways with an unnatural speed, not stopping until they reached Remus' black door at the end of the hallway.

“Jan—”

“Not yet, Re.” Janus whispered as he cast one last suspicious glance down the empty hallway before shoving Remus inside the narrow door frame.

“Janus, what the h—”

Remus' diatribe was knocked out of him as Janus' body slammed into his chest. He froze as Janus' arms curled around him, unsure of how to process the man's tight grip. He tensed, ready to struggle when he realized Janus was actually hugging him.

“Are you hurt?”

“What? No—” Remus whispered. His body went limp as released him enough to look him up and down. “I'm—I'm fine, Jan.”

“I'm going kill that self-righteous bastard.” Janus seethed. His grip on Remus' shoulders tightened as he stared past Remus to the closed door. “How dare he threaten you—”

“Janus—”

“—and especially when you were actually working to make things right with Virgil—"

“I don’t—” Remus blinked as Janus' words registered in his mind. "Wait, how did you know that's what I was—"

“I mean, where does he even get off thinking he can control Virgil's life without his input anyway?" Janus growled, gesturing abruptly to the door. "Virgil isn’t some helpless child. He’s able to make his own decisions—"

“Am I on fucking mute or something?”

“—and you!” Janus spat, gesturing towards the Remus. Remus immediately flinched at Janus' anger, though he wasn’t sure what he'd done to deserve the lying side's ire. “He could have killed you—”

"What?" Remus flailed as Janus grabbed the collar of his shirt like a disobedient child. “Hey, that's not fair! I didn’t know that Pattoncake was secretly a sadist—”

“You should have been more careful—"

Remus' head reeled as Janus spun him around, but he managed to stifle his nausea long enough to shout at Janus. “Jan—For fuck's sake, either fuck me or take my head off your fucking chopping block—”

Janus blinked, finally taking in Remus' red face as he swayed uneasily in Janus' grip. “What?”

"Listen, I like it rough and all but if I knew that you could manhandle me like that—" Remus blinked blearily as Janus loosened his grip. "Fuck the possibilities are endless, but—"

"Remus, I'm really not in the mood for your games tonight—"

“I'm not playing—Just ignore all of that. I needed to get your attention because you wouldn’t let me get a word in edgewise. ” Remus muttered, waving his hands as he found his bearings. “Jan, you—you frickin' saved me.”

"Now is the time you decide to censor yourself?"

"I'm trying to give you a compliment, Janus." Remus cut him off with a wave of his arms. "Hello, I wasn't expecting to become a damsel in distress but you make a hell of a knight in shining armor to have actually stepped in to save me.

“Of course, I saved you." Janus muttered after a moment, dipping his head in embarrassment. "I felt Patton’s emotions start to well up. I knew he was going to cause trouble and I wasn't about to leave you to his mercy.”

“What so you mean you felt him?” Remus mouth dropped in confusion.

Janus shrugged as his gaze dropped to the ground, still agitated. “I feel a lot of things Patton does.”

“But why?” Remus growled angrily as Janus clammed up. "Just spit it out already, Jan—"

“Because he's Thomas’ biggest lie.” Janus blurted out without thinking, gesturing to the door.

“What?” Remus whispered as he watched Janus begin to pace the room.

“The source of Thomas’ morality is corrupt.” Janus yelled, though he was quickly losing steam. “Not Thomas himself. God, not Thomas. But his insistence on clinging to his purity complex and thinking he can please everyone if he just tries hard enough—It's the most insidious evil that's ever taken root in him.

Remus went quiet as Janus explained and everything suddenly began to click into place.

“Thomas can't just turn his attention away from every reality he doesn't like.” Janus shrugged as he looked up at Remus. “Trying to eliminate anything uncomfortable or unpleasant in his life is a slippery slope to much more dangerous ideas.”

“Okay,sure, but this is still happy pappy, sunshine-coming-out-of-his-ass Patton. You sure you don't got a screw loose in that big brain of yours?” Remus managed to blurt out in exasperation. The scene had just played out before his own eyes,  but he couldn't help that his brain turned to fuzz every time he attempted to process it. “Ya know? Maybe, we’re in a some sort of shared delusion.  I mean, I know he's cute and all but now's not the time to think with your other head—”

"Remus," Janus let out an exasperated sigh as he glared at Remus. “I know you can’t help it but I would strongly prefer you think before you speak, like a normal person—”

“But, Jan. Come on—"

“His perceived innocence is part of the ruse, Remus. Why do you think Thomas' Logic is blind to his actions?” Janus muttered as his voice became nearly manic. "Why do you think his Creativity fawns over him and his Anxiety is soothed by him?"

Remus giggled as the human side of Janus' face became a brilliant shade of red. "Couldn't just be that he's just more personable than you, Janus?"

"Remus, I swear I'll strangle you myself—"

“Ya know, it's not often I'm the one fighting to talk over you.” Remus interrupted as he giggled and leaned into Janus' fury with a crooked grin. “If I knew you'd get all hot and bothered by Patty getting rough with me, I would’ve shoved my—"

“If you value your life, you will not finish that thought.” Janus muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. “This is serious, Remus. You—You could have died.”

“Everything’s always serious, Jan-Jan. You should give yourself a break.” Remus grinned, gesturing up and down at himself. "Do I look dead to you?"

“I know, but—”

Remus' grin widened as he rambled. “I mean, I've got a plan for when the heart attack kills you and all, but I'm not like dying to use it.”

“That's not the—Wait, you do?”

“Well, yeah. I wouldn't let you go out without a bang." Remus' grin widened as Janus turned up him curiously. "Figured I'd have some fun with it and put your head under someone’s covers. It’s very Godfather-esque.”

“Huh—" Janus leaned back, suddenly contemplative to Remus' proposal. "To whom would you do this?”

“Well, not Pattycake anymore.” Remus laughed, patting Janus on the back. “Maybe, Roman though. He needs good jolt every once in a while.”

“He certainly could stand to come down a few notches on his ego.” Janus sighed, rolling his eyes. He paused, finally taking a breath as he stared at Remus unfaltering smile. “I have no idea how you're managing to stay calm after what just happened."

“Well, that's easy." Remus purred with cocky smile as he leaned into Janus. “I got my big, bad protector here with me.”

"I got lucky, Remus." Janus huffed. “If I hadn't have been paying attention to Patton's power flaring up,  you would've—”

“Whatever, you felt that Patty boy was about to turn me to dust and you showed up.” Remus brushed off Janus' excuses. “That means something, Jan—Means a lot to me actually.”

Janus blinked as he looked up to the suddenly serious expression on Remus' face.

“The deadly dad freaked me out and I have to admit he had me kinda buying the story that I'm not that great of an influence on Virgil—” Remus sighed as he let his grin dropped away. “— or Thomas even, but I figure if you saved me, I can’t actually be all bad.”

“You’re not bad, Remus.”

“Yeah, well, even I need a reminder of that every once in a while.” Remus smiled. He shifted on his feet as he looked up at Janus. “So, thanks.”

“Anytime, Re.” Janus smirked at Remus' sincere smile. "I've always got your back."

“I know you do.” Remus breathed with a worried glance back at his door. “Saving me might have been the easy part though, Jan. Patton didn't seem like he was gonna let our Stormy Nightmare go.”

“Virgil will see through his lies,” Janus breathed as tasted the air. “The power's shifting and he can't hold me back forever. We aren't going down without a fight, and once Thomas sees his true nature, the game's over for Morality.”

“Well, better get cracking then,” Remus grinned. “before Patton finishes brainwashing 'em all.”

Janus nodded with a glance at the wall as a sudden chill ran up his spine. He could feel someone watching, but he supposed it didn’t matter. There was no turning back now. “Yes, Remus. I think it’s time to start pushing back.”

---

@justanotherhumanstuff @im-an-anxious-wreck @shadowyplaidpurseegg

[transmascfrankiero]

all of mcr’s songs ranked out of ten based on whether or not you can strip to them:

romance: could work if you were going for a Super Melancholy smiths-esque vibe but overall too slow and pretty. 1/10

honey: headbanger soundtrack to showcase your revenge body to ur ex. bonus points for underlying ‘gonna murder shitty boyfriend’ context thanks to audition-inspired video. but slightly too angry to be seductive. 5/10

vampires: too goth, too many feelings. reminds me of pot dreads frank. would not work. 0/10

drowning lessons: this song is cursed and cannot be listened to in public unfortunately 0/10

sorrows: if u were going to do a strip routine while beating the shit out of someone for trying to stealing ur tip money this would be a gr8 choice 6/10

halos: it’s about blowing your own head off and taking too many pills to cope w/ wanting to die all the time. 0/10

turnstiles: please do not!!! strip!!! to a song!!! about 9/11!!!! what is wrong w/ you!!! -100000000/10

monroeville: if u were doing a private lil strip dance for your george a. romero-obsessed s.o. where u both cry over the idea of having to kill the other person b/c they turned into a zombie then sure??? but other than that no. .5/10

best day ever: ehhhhhh. too fast. kinda weird to get sexy to unless u have a hospital kink. 0/10

cubicles: wow the thought of doing a strip routine to a song about pining for ur coworker who doesn’t know u exist is too sad to even joke about -20/10

demolition lovers: it’s a long song but it’s got cool tempo changes for variety and if u got the stamina then go for it. 4/10

helena: so, like, i get it. it’s a bop. u could dance to this beat for sure. the costumes and color scheme from the video make for gr8 stage pictures and the dancing corpse lady is v pretty. i could understand why if u were doing an emo strip routine u would want to use helena. but please for the love of all that is holy do NOT strip to a song gerard way wrote about his dead grandmother okay i am BEGGING you -∞/10

give ‘em hell kid: FUCK YEAH YOU LOOK PRETTY WALKIN DOWN THE STREET IN THE BEST DAMN DRESS U OWN. 10/10

to the end: this would be a hilarious choice for a bachelor party ngl 7/10 for that alone

prison: absolutely you could strip to this song but u gotta COMMIT okay u gotta light something on fire onstage and challenge gender norms while screaming your head off 8/10 but only if ur not a coward

i’m not okay: it’s a bop, but can u strip to it? no. 0/10

ghost of you: mikey way did not die on a beach in fake normandy for u to strip to ghost of you. seek help -5/10

jetset life: dude this song like. actually works??? for a strip routine??? so long as you don’t actually listen to the words, from a musical perspective, u could totally strip to this 10/10

interlude: what kinda weird catholic shame kink do u need to have to strip to this song. also it’s too short and too pretty. -5/10 (unless ur into catholic shame idk)

venom: this would require such a high energy routine but if u can make being sweaty work then this is a gr8 choice 7/10

hang ‘em high: this is a BATSHIT INSANE choice for a strip routine but if u want to do it then PLEASE do. i like ur style. 8/10

deathwish: u can strip to this only if u introduce ur routine by dedicating it to everyone who ever said eyeliner on dudes was gay. 5/10

cemetery drive: i think not. 0/10

never told you: if u are a highly theatrical highly murderous stripper then yes definitely 7/10

desert song: this song is Way Too Beautiful to strip to sorry you can’t have it -300/10

the end.: the only sexy thing about this song is how good gerard’s voice sounds so no. 0/10

dead!: this is a bold fucking choice but u have to play your cards just right. high risk high reward but SO much to potentially get wrong 6/10

how i disappear: u could. but why. 2/10

sharpest lives: holy SHIT yes ABSOLUTELY u should strip to sharpest lives. the drama. the beat. the spy rock guitar that frank accidentally nailed. this is one of THE choicest options from their catalog. why aren’t u stripping to this right now 50000000/10

wttbp: cute idea but don’t actually 0/10

i don’t love you: again, a bold fucking choice. u could strip to this in an edgy, meta sort of way but it’s missing the trashy factor so it’d have to be part performance art and part strip routine. if ur into that then totally 5/10

house of wolves: i mean i would pay money to see someone strip to this song so 7/10

cancer: LMAO YIKES -2000000/10

mama: this would be GLORIOUS if u fully embraced the sheer insanity and went Bonkers in Fuckin Zonkers burlesque-show-in-hell w/ it. 100/10 but u gotta pound the floor wailing at some point

sleep: i’m conflicted on this one like on the one hand it’s a good tempo for stripping but on the other hand it’s a song about being cruel to ur loved ones in order to force distance between u and them b/c you’re terrified of them getting hurt and it being all your fault. so maybe don’t strip to this one actually 0/10

teenagers: a bop w/ a great beat and fun costume ideas from the video but two major drawbacks being 1. ur getting naked to a song about teenagers which is uhhhh sort of Inappropriate and 2. it’s kind of also about school shooters which is also Inappropriate to get naked to. 0/10

disenchanted: why would u want this. you sad fuck. idek what to say except if you want to strip to this song i’m crying on your behalf -100000000/10

famous last words: don’t????? don’t. Do Not. stop that. -12/10

blood: this is HILARIOUS omg please strip to blood 10/10

kill all your friends: sure?? no objections but it’s an odd choice. this goes for the demo too. 2/10

heaven help us: if u want to strip to this then you definitely just read unholyverse for the first time and while u are valid, Don’t 0/10

my way home is through you: not an especially sexy song but it’s fun!! you do you 3/10

astro zombies (cover): uhhhhhh it’s a no from me dawg. i’d be thinking about danzig, like, the whole time. 0/10

desolation row: sure but u gotta be willing to get punched in the face by the riot squad for maximum effect 4/10

common people (cover): just b/c gerard would strip to britpop doesn’t mean u can. 0/10

emily: NO!!!! -50000/10

party at the end of the world: nah. 0/10

not that kind of girl: literally please consider the subject matter of this song and rethink ur life choices. -10/10

all the angels: it’s a cool song but don’t strip to it that’s weird -2/10

jack the ripper: you and the person who wants to strip to astro zombies can go sit in the suicidegirls corner together how about that. 0/10

na na na: a banger!! strip away my friend 9/10

bulletproof heart: a good song but not a strip song 1/10

sing: sorry this song is [REDACTED] it gets no score

planetary (go!): you could try to strip to this but it’s such a classic four-on-the-floor that i think you’d end up just regular dancing to it and forget to be sexy so 4/10

the only hope for me is you: are you doing a strip tease for michael bay. stop. put ur shirt back on shia lebeouf 0/10

party poison: like this is a hilarious option and i support you but realistically it’s pretty fast for a strip song 3/10

save yourself, i’ll hold them back: this is a safe option. Too Safe. almost soulless. a person who’d strip to this would avoid eye contact the entire time and never smile and later when you went out for a smoke break you’d overhear them on the phone with their ex arguing over child support payments. 4/10

s/c/a/r/e/c/r/o/w: the more i think about it the more fun the idea of stripping to this becomes so i say go for it 6/10

summertime: i’m Certain that gerard would prefer if you didn’t -5/10

destroya: is this objectively the best mcr song to strip to? Absolutely. it’s got everything you could possibly want right down to built-in moans and fever dream drums. but the only person in the universe who Can Must and Should strip to this song is gerard. sorry them’s the breaks. ∞/10 but only if you’re gerard way

kids from yesterday: don’t. 0/10

vampire money: 100% yes you should strip to this. bonus points for stealth twilight references 1000000/10

we don’t need another song about california: do i like this song? yes. is it sexy? no. 0/10

black dragon fighting society: i can’t understand what the FUCK gerard is saying in this song AT ALL so i can’t recommend that u strip to it b/c i have no fucking idea what it’s ABOUT 0/10

f.t.w.w.w.: i mean. this song is about eating pussy. and robots that are built specifically to fuck. so yes you can strip to this but you gotta dress up like a pornbot 100/10

mastas of ravencroft: again i cannot understand most of the fucking words and the ones i do understand are something something RICKETY BONES RICKETY HANDS so like. probably not the one 0/10

boy division: i could go either way on this one like it’s really fast but it’s also about cocaine so??? 3/10

tomorrow’s money: while this song slaps overall violent nihilism does not a strip song make 1/10

ambulance: no. 0/10

gun.: antiwar messages are sexy but not the right kind for stripping 1/10

the world is ugly: PLEASE no. 0/10

the light behind your eyes: oh my god this is so DEPRESSING why would you want to strip to this who hurt you -2000000/10

kiss the ring: yes yes yes it’s got built-in audience participation conceit factor if u let ur audience kiss ur ring, totally works 10/10

make room!!!: again, slaps, but not a strip song 1/10

surrender the night: dude we talked about this!!! dying violently w/ ur loved ones is Not Sexy!!! 0/10

burn bright: i guess you could strip to this but again it’s Too Safe tread carefully 3/10

fake your death: i want frank iero to strip to this song so i can throw tomatoes at him for being a LYING SACK OF SHIT FOR TWO YEARS i’m not gonna rate this one but frank if ur out there i have a basket of slightly squishy heirloom tomatoes and i am COMING FOR YOU

[theflannelwizard]

Miss Simian teaches the Special Accommodations class

First off, I would like to say that I am neurodivergent, and most of these headcanons are based off my own experiences. If I do accidentally phrase something in a way that offends you, please let me know so I can fix it! Thanks to @onceuponymous to chatting with me about this before I posted it! I will also say that TAWOG is my current hyper fixation, so this might end up being a rather long post! I’ll try to use bold and italics so my fellow neurodivergent fans have an easier time reading it if they want to :)

I think Miss Simian’s class is full of the neurodivergent kids in Elmore Jr. High. This would explain why Darwin and Gumball are in the same class, despite being two years apart in age, and why they are so blind to the rest of the school. They have their routine and their class, and they are purposefully on a separate schedule than the other students. This would also explain why Gumball and Darwin are so frequently sent to the guidance counselor for their outbursts instead of to the principal.

Almost all if not all of the students in her class exhibit common symptoms of neurodivergence, including (but not limited to) having trouble communicating, hyper fixating or having special interests, masking or feeling like the world won't like, understand, or accept them if they don’t put on a persona, fidgeting or stimming, having trouble with focus, expressing emotion intensely or in unique ways, and either adhering to a strict schedule or behaving impulsively.

Let’s start with trouble communicating. This is an obvious and easy one- almost none of Gumball’s classmates communicate in a neurotypical fashion. Juke and William have extreme trouble communicating verbally, and although Juke realizes this, he keeps trying but is unable to “switch” himself to an easily understood language. William doesn’t even realize he is unheard until Gumball declares he is silent.  Banana Joe, Bobert, Sussie, and Jamie all speak in special dialects or patterns that are understandable but set them apart from what would be considered “normal.” Jamie’s is the least obvious, but I would argue that her reliance on threats, often delivered using the same formula, is a unique speech pattern that could have developed in part due to her parentage/home life and in part due to trouble communicating. Gumball has no problem with speaking in an understandable way, but he does have trouble expressing his emotions- he either locks them down or goes over the top with grand declarations and gestures. Likewise, Darwin is able to express himself rather clearly, but he canonically has trouble “learning facial expressions” and is often blind to sarcasm and manipulation, as are many of his classmates. Some students are on the end of the spectrum where they may not have trouble speaking, but they do have trouble reading social cues. For example, Molly is eager to talk to her friends, but can’t always tell whether they are engaged with her stories and doesn’t know when to stop talking. Sarah doesn’t have a clear understanding of boundaries, and neither do Tobias, Sussie, Banana Joe, Teri, Tina, Clayton, Ocho, Gumball, or Alan (despite having good intentions, he often fails to set boundaries for himself, and that’s just as important to notice as those who intrude or don’t understand boundaries for others). In fact, I would argue the entire class has, at some point, shown that they have trouble setting or anticipating healthy boundaries. Once boundaries have been clearly set, they usually are able and willing to respect them, but they can’t always tell on their own what another person is okay with.

Now for hyper fixations and special interests. I would say Teri is one of the most obvious here, with her extensive knowledge of germs and cleanliness. She’s more than just a germaphobe, she has studied hygiene and is obsessive to a point of rarely talking about anything else. Alan could likely be fixated on activism or the general concept of goodness, working overtime to make himself into the most helpful and positive person he can be. Sarah’s fangirl persona goes hand in hand with a fixation on comics, anime, and/or manga. I would even say Carrie’s intense dedication to goth/emo culture could be considered a special interest, and Leslie has a similar relationship to fashion, beauty, and the (heavily coded) LGBT community. Tobias’ obsession with video games has canonically gotten so intense that he neglected basic needs such as sleep- a classic example of hyper fixation. 

As far as masking and persona goes, many of the points I’m about to make could be seen as simple stereotyping to make the characters distinct. I choose to interpret it differently. Gumball, Penny, Tobias, Carrie, Masami, Tina, Clayton, and Ocho have all had arcs or significant moments where they were either revealed to have interests or personality traits that were in direct contrast with their outward persona or revealed to think people wouldn’t like “the real them” as much as the act they put on. For example, Penny was terrified to come out of her shell, Tina doesn’t intend to be a bully but comes off as one due to her menacing mask (for self protection, perhaps, so she doesn’t get bullied herself?), and Ocho admits he has trust issues due to being used for his uncles and not respected unless he puts on an intense and aggressive front. Other students build their identities around a single aspect of themself, either something that they find important or something that they expect will be liked or respected. Tobias, Leslie, Carrie, Alan, Jamie, Tina, Idaho, Sarah, Bobert, Banana Joe, and Masami fall easily into stereotypes and seem to be glad to do so. Clayton goes so far as to commit identity theft simply so no one will see his true self and dislike him. Clayton’s compulsive lying is also a symptom of ADHD.

I’m not going to write a whole paragraph on fidgeting/stimming and focus, because I don’t think there’s too much to analyze or dissect there, but if you go back and watch any episode, you’ll likely notice that many of the characters are easily distracted and/or have unique body movements, postures, or phrases that they tend to repeat. I also think impulsivity and routine is so important to the plot that it doesn’t need to be discussed, but was worth a brief mention.

Let’s talk about emotions! Gumball has the classic neurodivergent experience of either bottling up his emotions with no idea how to express them or going over the top with grand declarations and gestures. He feels things very intensely, as shown by his often dramatic reactions, but isn’t always sure how to process or express them. Darwin is always on one extreme of that scale, with no filter as to how he expresses and feels things. He is unafraid to cry in public, declare that something makes him feel good or bad, or say very bluntly what needs to be done to make him feel better (eg declaring he responds well to positive reinforcement- that sounds like therapist or guidance counselor language to me! Good job, Darwin! I wish I was as clear as you!). Likewise, Penny is prone to meltdowns after she breaks out of her shell, and she is so intensely emotional that she messes up her (likely well-rehearsed) cheer tryout due to being rejected by Gumball, and her physical form changes based on emotion. Banana Joe, Carrie, Masami, Sarah, arguably Anton, Carmen, Teri, Tina, Hector, and Sussie also express their intense emotions in big and obvious ways. Some examples include Masami’s meltdown in The Storm, Teri’s tendency to faint or cry, Carmen’s outburst (possibly a meltdown or breakdown) at her old school, and Tina’s tendency to use violence and anger as a first response when upset, even in “small” ways. (Note- I put small in quotes because something like being told it’s a waste of time to get piano lessons might not feel small to her, and could indeed warrant chasing and attacking Gumball.) On the other side of the scale, we have characters like Alan, Idaho, Bobert, Molly, Leslie, and Hector (again, as he behaves differently with or without his music box), who are capable of being dramatic or expressing emotion, but won’t acknowledge their feelings directly and might even be perceived as not having (many) emotions. For instance, Bobert is often referred to as not having emotions or not being a real person, a harmful stereotype against autistic folks, which is increased by the fact that he is a robot, which autistic folks are sometimes unfairly compared to. Alan is seemingly incapable of feeling negative emotions, to the point where his loss of hope wrecks Elmore, implying that he has a mental or emotional block from feeling and expressing these emotions. Molly references her “special dark place,” implying that she does get emotionally or sensorially overwhelmed, but has no way to express her needs (or lacks the confidence to do so) and would rather remove herself from a situation. Leslie is the most dramatic of the characters with emotional blocks or low emotional expression, but I would argue that since he never openly owns or discusses his emotions, (verbally or otherwise,) and instead turns to petty drama or denial, he also belongs in this category.

TL;DR: Most if not all of Miss Simian’s students exhibit classic symptoms of neurodivergence, be it autism, adhd, or both. Hopefully the many (x character) has (x diagnosis) posts I’ve seen floating around can supplement this theory! And of course, if you don’t buy this interpretation or just don’t like it, you don’t have to agree with me! But I think the idea of TAWOG having a majority neurodivergent cast is comforting, fun, and canon-compliant. :)

[candied-peach]

ao3: “rainbow ink” rating: T warnings: soulmate au, sympathetic deceit, sympathetic remus, DRLAMP, creativitwins genre: angst with a happy ending description: Roman just wants his twin to be happy. That’s all he wants. (for anon prompt: "Romantic DRLAMP soulmates? (Platonic creativetwins ofc) and usually when I see that ships it's Virgil or Deciet who doesn't write to his soulmates but how about Roman? He pretends not to have them because Remus already has them as his soulmates and he doesn't want to steal that from him? Angst with a happy ending?")

The first time Roman sees familiar purple ink flowing across his arm, he thinks it's a mistake. It has to be. He's seen that particular shade of purple on Remus's skin too often for it to be a coincidence. It's only further confirmed when, as he hastily yanks his sleeve down, Remus bursts into his room to tell him that he's going to the coffee shop to people watch and be weird. Just like his soulmate- Virgil- said.

Roman swallows hard, the lump in his throat only intensifying at the unabashed happiness shining in his twin's eyes. He doesn't say a word about the damning purple words drizzled across his skin- doesn't even think about writing back- just wishes Remus a safe trip and tries to pretend that the pain in his lungs is from a developing asthma attack.

The second time he sees dark and light blue ink scrawling across his wrist, he thinks someone must be playing a sick joke on him. It's not fair. Logan and Patton are also Remus's soulmates. Is Roman so cursed that he can't have anything to himself?

But the jealousy, teeming just beneath the surface, makes his throat tighten. He holes himself up in his room, pretending to be asleep when Remus bursts in.

"I'm going to wreak havoc at the library," Remus announces, like Roman hasn't already seen their plans scribbled in round letters and blocky script.

"Cool," Roman mumbles into his pillow, trying to sound foggy with sleep, not heartbroken. "Have fun."

"I will," Remus assures him. "And Janus might come, too! Virgil said he's gotta study, though." As if on cue, Roman can almost feel the spiky gold script etch itself into his forearm.

"Just try not to be arrested," Roman says, turning his face so Remus can't see the tears that have started to prick the corners of his eyes.

"No promises!" Remus says cheerfully. As soon as the front door of their shared apartment closes, Roman buries his face in his pillow and cries, shoulders shaking with silent sobs. This goes beyond even the cruelties of fate he could have ever dreamed up. He shares all of Remus's soulmates.

And he refuses to say a word. He's never seen his twin so happy as when he's with them. Logan, Patton, Virgil, and Janus, the latest. Janus is shy, perpetually wearing a hat around them, tugging the brim down as if it can hide the psoriasis that plagues one side of his face. The way his face lights up when he debates philosophy with a ruffled Logan. Patton's sunniness and platters of heart-shaped pancakes. Virgil's purple hair and anxiety and constantly playing emo music. Remus fits like the final piece of the puzzle, discussing the finer points of arson with Janus, listening to cephalopod facts and true crime podcasts with Logan, splattering paint on a canvas with Virgil and splattering cupcake batter with Patton.

Roman would be an outcast puzzle piece, the occasional broken one that comes from another puzzle entirely and can never find a place to fit in, not even along the edges.

Weeks pass. He starts to wear long sleeves and high necks, trying to hide the rainbow-hued proof from his sharp-eyed twin. He withdraws into himself, no matter how much he tries to stop it. What else is he to do? He's an actor, but he's not that good. He doesn't know if anyone could be that good, to know they can never, ever have what they've longed for their entire life, to watch it happening right in front of their eyes to someone who deserves it so, so much, but-

That's it, isn't it? Roman reflects, huddled on his bed and watching Avatar the Last Airbender through for the third time. 'But.' He feels the tingle of more writing on his wrist, but ignores it. It's not for him, after all. It will never be for him. There will be no gentle affirmations written in Patton's light blue script, no blocky exhortations to do his classwork or go to bed earlier from Logan. Virgil won't offer a mix tape and Janus won't cheer him up with snake-themed puns. They think they're friends and they are, but they have no idea they're more than that, and Roman refuses to tell them anything else.

His door bangs back on its hinges, bouncing off the wall, and Roman looks up in irritated alarm, ready to chastise his twin-

When he realizes that not only has Remus come in, he's brought reinforcements. Virgil, Janus, Logan, and Patton stand there next to Remus, and any annoyed words Roman might have said dry up in his throat.

"Something's wrong with you," Remus says, without preamble. "And I wanna know what."

"Nothing," Roman tries to deny, but he knows that no one will believe it. He looks a dilapidated mess, a far cry from his usual put-together self. He doesn't know when he slid down so fast.

"You and I both know that's a lie," Janus murmurs. He's not wearing a hat for once, and his hair is an unruly mass of curls Roman wishes he could run his fingers through. "You've been avoiding Remus-"

"You've been avoiding all of us," Virgil speaks up next. His shoulders are hunched, his fingers occupied with a purple fidget cube. "Did- did we do something wrong?"

"No!" Roman blurts out, before he even knows what he's saying. "No," he repeats. "You- you haven't done anything at all, it's- it's just me." He swallows, painfully aware all of a sudden that his sleeve has slipped down and dark blue writing is now visible.

Dark blue could be anyone, don't draw attention to it-

"Is it your soulmate?" Logan, because of course it's Logan, asks.

"Um," Roman hedges, inelegant. Remus bounds over to the bed, yanking Roman's sleeve up before he can stop him.

"I will be right up," Remus reads, his eyebrows scrunched in confusion. "But that's-" He looks at his own arm, at Logan's neat handwriting.

"Roman?" Patton asks hesitantly. "Is- is Logan your soulmate, too? Is that why you've been avoiding us?" An easy out, and yet one that will fall apart at the slightest touch. Roman trembles, feeling like a leaf in a vigorous breeze.

"I-" He croaks. "Um- not exactly."

"What do you mean, not exactly?" Janus asks. Roman flinches, although he knows it's a perfectly reasonable question. If only there was a perfectly reasonable answer.

"Not just Logan," he whispers, staring down into his lap. "It- I'm so sorry, Remus, it's everyone-" The tears that have prickled the corners of his eyes since Remus touched his sleeve spill over, tracing down familiar tracks.

"But why is that a bad thing?" Remus asks, still looking utterly perplexed. "Ro, what's wrong?"

"They're your soulmates," Roman repeats. "And you've been so happy- I don't belong with that-"

"Who says?" Logan questions. "Shouldn't that be up to us to determine?"

"I- I don't know," Roman stammers. "Maybe?"

"I don't have a problem with another soulmate," Patton says, giving Roman an encouraging smile. "I want to get to know you better, Roman. As more than just your friend. Is that okay?"

Roman's eyes dart to Remus's face, suddenly brimming with unconcealed panic. Remus plops down on the bed next to him, wrapping him up in a tight, slightly odd-smelling hug.

"You dumbass," Remus hisses in his ear. "You deserve to be happy, too, you know. I want you to be happy. You being unhappy has made me really unhappy."

"It has?" Roman asks in a tiny voice.

"Of course it has," Remus says, giving him a shove. "You're my twin, asshole, I care about you. I don't care if we share soulmates."

Roman takes a deep breath, then shoves up both sleeves, up to the elbow, revealing a rainbow cacophony littering his lower arms.

"We talk a lot," Virgil observes. Roman lets out a shaky laugh.

"You do," he says. "But I- I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world."

tag list:   @k9cat @paravigilant-virgil @croftergamer @airiervessel @reverendliu @matthindavick @ambersky0319 @yalltookmyurlideas @did-he-just-hiss-at-me @ihateitwhenyourejustvague @bexxbeauty @killjoy-3000 @the-sunshine-dims @sneaky-slytherin @reesiereads @rabbitsartcorner @quackerz-creations  @psodtqueer @awkward-child-of-satan @snek-boii @im-fine-24  

[mtherhino]

One side, Two lives

Chapter ten

Is he ok?

First Previous Next

Warnings: slight gore, panicked attack, and mention of eating disorder

Where the heck am I?  Virgil thought as he took in his surroundings. He couldn’t see anything except himself, as I he was standing in a pit of nothingness. He tried to to walk around but the blackness seemed to go on forever so he started to panic. Where a I? How do I get out of here? Where are the others?! Are they here two? I have to find them!

           Suddenly the anxious side heard a scream from behind him in the darkness. That sounds like Roman! He thought. He turned around and there stood Roman, on his knees and grasping at his stomach which confused the other side. Why is he grabbing at his stomach? Never mind I need to get his attention.

“Roman!” Virgil shouted to the other, but the prince didn’t acknowledge him, he didn’t even seem to hear him. This in no way helped Virgils anxiety.

“Roman! Princy can you hear me!” He shouted again, but just like before the creative side didn’t seem to even know he was there. Out of no where Virgil heard a dark chuckle.

He turned his gaze away from the prince and towards the noise. The shape of a person had materialized from the darkness, glimmering in a golden light and having what seemed to be a cape dragging behind him. The whatever it was approached Roman’s fallen from, laughing the whole time.

“You see? Your nothing but a weakling, and theres no place for anything like that here.” Virgil watched in terror as the person drew a sword and used it to tilt Roman’s head up to look at him. The side had tears running down his face and blood leaking from his mouth. Why is he crying? Why is he bleeding!? Virgil thought.

He looked back down to the prince’s hand and saw that the normally pure white outfit was now stained in blood, the red liquid was still spreading rapidly. Virgils eyes grew wide with horror. The golden being ‘tsk’ at the downed side and kicked him in the stomach making him cough up blood. No! Stop! You’re going to kill him! That’s what Virgil wanted to say, but as soon as he tried to scream black tendrils wrapped around his mouth and kept him quite.

Never the less the anxious side tried to run forward to stop everything but he couldn’t. He looked down and his feet where somehow stuck to the ground. He tried to pull himself free but it became clear that it was no use. He looked back at the scene in front of him and saw the figure start to raise his sword.

“You really are worthless. You’re just a pathetic excuse for a side, a useless nothing, and you’re especially no hero.” As the thing said that, it swung it sword down.

“ROMAN!”

           Virgil jolted up from his bed, his hand outstretched like he was trying to reach for something. His forehead was covered in sweat and he was sure that if he looked in a mirror his face would be whiter than a ghost’s. He brought his hand to his chest and he found his heart was beating faster than he thought it ever had. Virgil took a deep sigh and tried to calm down, it didn’t work very well. He looked over at his clock and saw that it was around 3 in the morning.

           What the heck was that? Virgil wondered to himself. He couldn’t remember much of his nightmare but he remembered that he was more scared than he had ever been in his life. Just trying to remember what happened made the side start hyperventilating. Ok. I need to calm down or else I might give Thomas a panic attack. Virgil started taking deep breaths and began to calm down as he repeated his 4 ,7, 8 breathing exercise.

           Once he was calmed downed he realized that he probably wasn’t going to be able to go to sleep for a while and flopped back onto his bed in frustration. The one night I actually tried to get more sleep. Just great. The side pulled out his phone from under his pillow and grabbed his headphones from his bed side table. This wasn’t the first time he was woken up by nightmares, but this time had definitely been the worst.

           He put on his headphones and picked up his phone. He went though a few different playlist before he finally settle on just clicking shuffle on My Chemical Romance. He ended up on Mama and smiled. This song was slightly calmer than most of the groups songs. He went to tumbler and started scrolling though it, humming the lyrics as he looked at post. After about an hour of looking at memes and funny videos Virgil found himself starting to dose off, the residents of the nightmare going to the back of his mind.

           When Virgil woke up it was too Patton calling him down for breakfast. He groaned as he got out of bed and change into his usual style. He pulled on his signature jacket as he went out the door even though he knew that it was crazy to wear a jacket on almost any day in Florida. Virgil walked down the long hallway eyeing every corner suspiciously in case Remus decided to just pop up or something. Because of this he wasn’t looking where he was going and ran straight into someone’s back and fell down.

           “Virgil? Are you ok” a familiar voice said. The anxious side looked up and saw that it was non other than Roman who he just happened to run into. The memories of his dream flashed in his mind and he looked at Romans stomach glad to see that there was no kind off blood staining on the t-shirt he was wearing. He shook his head a bit to clear the image of the fallen prince in his mind.

“Yah, I’m fine Princy.” Virgil said. Roman extended his hand to Virgil and pulled him up.

“You need to watch where your going, wouldn’t want you falling down the stairs or something.” Roman said with a chuckle.  The smaller side smiled softly at the sound but pretended to cough into his sleeve when Roman looked back at him.

           “Kiddos! Come get your breakfast before it gets old!” That had snapped Virgil out of his embarrassed fake coughing fit and the two started heading towards the kitchen. When they entered they found Logan at the table reading a comic book? Roman turned to Virgil and raised an eyebrow in question. The anxious side shrugged and went to go sit down at the table. He took a closer look at the cover and saw that it was a horror comic and that only confused him more.

“What are you reading Lo? I don’t think I’ve ever even seen you pick up a comic book before” Virgil asked. Logan finally looked up from his book and he seemed kinda embarrassed.

“Well um, technically it’s a graphic novel and uh Remus asked me to read it over for him.” Logan said while he adjusted his glasses, and if Virgil wasn’t mistaken, he was ever so slightly blushing. As the gears in his head spun the smaller side started to smirk. It definitely seems like this guy has a crush Remus. Although it may not look it, Virgil didn’t actually hate the duke. They in no way got along, and Virgil didn’t trust the creative side as far as he could though him, but he didn’t necessarily hate the gremlin of a man.

           So, with this in mind, the mischievous raccoon in a jacket decided that as long as he was here, he might as well mess with people.

“I didn’t know you and Remus where such good friends.” Roman, who had sat down after getting a plate of food for himself from the kitchen, tried his absolute hardest not to burst out laughing as Logan stuttered and rambled to try and explain himself.

“He simply assisted me in conducting some research the other day and I wanted to return the kind favor.” Once more the prince and emo character shared a look. Virgil decided that was enough teasing for now. You have to spread out the torture to make it effective after all. So instead of continuing to make fun of his friend he decided he should finally grab some breakfast.

“Whatever you say Lo.” The former dark side walked into the kitchen to see Patton serving up a plate that he assumed was for Logan.

Today Patton had made some scrambled eggs, a few links of sausages, and some toast he was currently adding crafters jam to. Patton turned around to face his dark strange son and smiled widely.

“Hey kiddo! I made a plate for you if that’s alright. If theres anything you want to change about it go right ahead!” The fatherly side said in his usual cheerful tone. Unfortunate this kinda made the smaller of the two freak out a bit.

What if I don’t like whats on the plate? I can’t just mess with it Patton already put in the work to make the food and if I put any of it back it will look like I don’t like his cooking which of course into true but what if he thinks that? Luckily his worries were put to rest when he saw his plate had equal proportions of everything just how he liked it. He breathed a sigh of relief and went to go sit back down with the others.

When he got back to table Roman and Logan were arguing about some sort of play but the conversation was now going too fast for Virgil to actually pay attention to it.

“Don’t you dare say Hamilton wasn’t a good musical in my presence!”

“I’m just saying its historically inaccurate! For one thing the Skylar sisters did have an older brother so the part in the musical where Angelica sings about having to bring the family glory is false. Also she was already wed to a man before she met Alexander so she couldn’t marry him if even if she wanted to.” Logan reasoned in his calm yet frustrated ‘everyone-is-being-an-idiot-except-for-me’ tone of voice.

“Of course it isn’t entirely accurate to the real character. In theater you have to add a bit of drama to express the characters feeling in the scene better!” The royal side tried to explain while he waved his arm around in the air, surprisingly not hitting anything or anyone. Luckily before the two could continue Patton walked into the room carrying both his and Logan’s plate.

“Ok kiddos I think thats enough arguing for now, go ahead and eat instead of bickering please.” Patton said in a hopeful voice.  The two sides grumbled a bit to themselves but did start eating . Virgil looked over at Romans plate and saw that he once again had a lot less food on his plate than the rest of them. He had about two mouthfuls of eggs on his plate, one small sausage and half of a jam covered toast.

Doesn’t he need to eat more than the rest off us? I mean he goes adventuring all the time so he probably burns all the calories he gets from the meals Patton makes. Virgil pondered all this while he ate. If he was being honest he didn’t think he had ever seen Roman get seconds unless people insisted on it. Thats kinda concerning, what if he isn’t eating right because off stress? But why would Princy be stressed he’s the living personification of having a dreamy good life. Could something be wrong and we just haven’t noticed it yet?is he ok? Luckily he was broken from his thoughts as someone called his name.

“Virgil? Are you ok? You’ve been so pacing out for a while now, everything alright?” Roman said as he put a comforting hand on the anxious sides shoulder. Virgil gave the royal a small smile and took a deep breath. I’m just overthinking things. Roman’s fine, he would have come to us if he had a problem.

“Yah I’m fine Princy, just got lost in thought that’s all.” The creative side smiled at that and went back to eating his small plate of food.

           After everyone was done with breakfast they all went back to their own rooms, Logan still reading the graphic novel as he walked. Once Virgil got to his room he threw himself onto his extremely messy bed and was about to pull up something to watch on YouTube when he heard a knock on his door.

           What the, I was just with everyone, if they needed to ask me something wouldn’t they have asked me then? The purple side sighed and got up to open the door, only to find the hallway completely empty?

“Um, ok, anyone there?” Virgil said while he stuck his head out the doorway.

“Yup! I’m right here!” A choice shouted from behind him.

“Ahhh!” The smaller side screeched and accidentally slammed the door shut. There now sitting on his bed kicking his feet, was Remus. He wasn’t wearing his usual outfit for videos but instead a ripped up tank to and some black sweatpants.

“What the hell are you doing here?!” The anxious side said in an accusing tone.

“I was bored and decided that I might as well annoy you for a while.” The taller of the two said with a shrug.

Virgil groaned and destroyed any hope of having a peaceful day from his mind.

“Why in the world did you knock? You haven’t had any real manners since we were kids.” The purple clad side said as he sat down on a beanbag that he had in the corner. The duke shrugged.

“It was part of my grand plan to distract you so that I could scare you even better.” The insane side said with a sharp tooth smile. Before Virgil could make a retort the door burst opened. There stood Princy in a t-shirt and shorts, his hair looking slightly disheveled and with a sword in hand. He for some reason also looked a bit bigger than normal but Virgil discarded the thought as the lighting being weird.

           “Virgil! What’s wrong! What do I need to fight!” The red side exclaimed.

“Hey Ro! I just scared emo over here and he screamed like I had ripped out his guts or something.” The duke said as he threw his arm around his brother. Virgil was kinda surprised. Last time he had seen the twins interact Roman was out cold in seconds but now they were talking like they were best friends. Well I guess they are siblings after all. The smallest in the room said.

“Oh, ok then. Virgil do you need any assistance?” Roman asked. The former dark side thought for a minute and figured that he could handle Remus by himself, he had enough experience dealing with his craziness growing up.

“Yah Romano I’ll be fine.” Virgil said with a wave. Roman nodded but not without a sigh at the nick name and walked out.

“Oh but before I go,” the prince turned around and glared and the both of them, “if you two kill each other I will find a way to somehow resurrect you and get you both scolded by Patton.” And with that Roman left with a royal wave. The two remaining sides gave each other a look, Virgil’s one of distrust and Remus’s one of mischief.

“Sooooo,” Remus said as he jumped back onto the bed, “you like my brother huh?”  Virgil’s face turned bright red.

“I-I don’t know what your talking about!” The now highly nervous side shouted.  This only made the duke chortle.

“Chill out, I’m not gonna tell him, it will be a lot more fun that way.” Remus said with a grin. The hoodie wearing side breathed a sigh of relief.

“However you now owe me a favor.” The dark side said. Virgil grumbled to himself but agreed and asked what the favor was. The royal smiled widely.

“You have to help me beat Deceit’s high score in Mario cart.” The anxious side was surprised at first but then smirked.

“Sure, I’m not going to pass up the chance to piss off the snake.” The smaller jumped onto the bed as Remus summoned his switch that was nearly covered in stickers except for the screen.

           After a few rounds of Mario cart Virgil still hadn’t won once and he was getting annoyed, especially since Remus wouldn’t stop saying how he was the ultimate champion of this game. In this round they where nearing the finish line and Virgil was in second place while Remus was in first. He had dodged all of the shells Virgil had thrown at him but he still had one more.

There’s no way I’m letting this rat man beat me again. Suddenly Virgil had an idea and a dark smile formed on his face.

“So Remus,” the purple side said as he lined up the shot, “how did your date with Logan go?”

“What?!” Remus was so surprised that Virgil somehow knew about his sorta kinda date with Logan that he fell off the bed. Meanwhile Virgil threw a green shell at him and finished in first.

“Yes!” The smaller side exclaimed.

           “How in this wide terribly gruesome world did you find out about that?” Remus said from the floor. Virgil shrugged.

“Logan said that you helped him with some research or something while blushing so I figured you actually took him on a date.” The emo said while he leaned back on his pillow. He looked over at Remus who was now sitting on the bean bag looking slightly startled.

“Well I didn’t technically ask him on a date, I just offered to take him and give him a tour of the imagination.” The duke said while he messed with his white streak of hair. “I haven’t actually told him that I like him.” Virgil was surprised that Remus looked actually embarrassed saying this.

“I never thought I would see the day that you were nervous.” Virgil said honestly. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell Logan if you aren’t ready to tell him.” Remus gave him an incredulous look and started laughing like a mad man which slightly scared the smaller side. He suddenly stoped and got up.

           “Thanks emo, I got to go or else De is going to get mad at me.” While the dark side walked to the door he messed up the purple wearing side’s hair until it defied gravity. “Wanna help me beat the record tomorrow since that slippery snake has such a freaking high score that we couldn’t beat it today?” The crazy side asked.

“Sure.” Virgil said, surprising even himself.

“Cool! Se yah tomorrow emo.” Remus said as he slammed the door loudly. The anxious side relaxed on his bed with a sigh. Even when just hanging out with the others being social was exhausting for him. He remembered that Thomas had some sort of event for tomorrow but Virgil doubted that he would need him for anything. As he was starting to drift off to sleep for a nap he had one last thought. Isn’t the wedding tomorrow?

Well I hope everyone if ready for some angst to come. Hope you guys have a good next 24 hours, bye!

Tag list:

@lovelivingmydreams

[koushou]

Could we get uuh,,, Todoroki x f!reader who is insecure abt their looks bc they look more "boyish" than most girls? 😳 As much as I love being an androgynous queen, I get insecure sometimes, esp when it comes to guys liking me

this is my first ask im 😳💕💕

beautiful

pairing : todoroki shoto x f!reader {fluff}

warnings : none really, like the teeniest suggestive ending, just todoroki being like the best bf ugh 😩

a/n : thank you so much for requesting anon!! i tried my best, im so sorry if it isn’t exactly what you wanted but shoutout to all the androgynous queens you’re amazing !! <3 (also can you tell im terrible at titles pls)

shopping mall dates with your friends were always something you looked forward to, shoto knew this well. so why had you come back to the dorms empty-handed?

The familiar ringtone playing from your phone woke you up from your slumber, as bright sunlight shone through your windows where the curtains did poor job of providing you with any coverage. You opened your eyes and would’ve immediately shut them if not for the music still coming from your phone on your nightstand.

Swinging a hand blindly over, you felt the cool screen of your device and brought it close to your face, as an all too familiar contact name displayed on the top of the screen.

Grumbling slightly, you pressed the answer button and brought it up to your ear.

“Y/N!! Are you still sleeping??” You almost wanted to hang up right then and there from the cheery girl’s voice ringing into your ear. 

“Mina, it’s-” You glanced over at your alarm clock on the same nightstand, “-literally 9 in the morning, what do you want-”

“Come on! You remember we have another shopping day today, right??” 

You rubbed your eyes and rolled over in bed on your side, away from the blinding light illuminating through the glass windows.

Shopping dates with your girlfriends in Class 1-A took place almost every weekend, something you always looked forward to. Hero training was stressful, everyone was always striving to further improve and expand their quirks and skill, almost never having time for any sort of break. 

Truthfully, you had forgotten about your planned day with the girls today, since it had been a pretty tough week, with work piling up on top of one another, heck, you were barely keeping up your grades. 

“Oh...right.” You ran your fingers through your somewhat messy, medium-length hair, attempting to comb it slightly and getting rid of the small knots that had been formed in your sleep.

“Hey, don’t tell me you forgot - anyways, we’re meeting up downstairs at 10, so see you later!!” 

“Yeah, alright.” 

Quiet beeps signaling the end of your short call with Mina, you sighed and wondered how the alien girl managed to stay so hyper in the morning, not that you were surprised anymore. 

Sitting up in bed, you let out a yawn and stretched out your body, excited for the day to come. 

On some days, you just wanted to sleep in and have a day all to yourself in the comfort of your small dorm room, but these shopping sprees with the girls always took your mind off any troubles on your mind.

Throwing your blanket to the side lazily, you get up from your bed and groggily made your way to the bathroom, phone still in hand. Flicking on the light switch, you cringed at the sudden brightness.

A notification noise sounded from your phone, a smile spreading across your face as soon as you saw who the sender was - your one and only white and red haired boyfriend.

Unlocking your phone, you were met by a few text messages from your lover.

shouu <33 : good morning love, have you woken up yet?

shouu <33 : you’re going out today with the others right? i wish you could come and be with me, but i hope you have fun.💗

Your heart could not handle this level of cuteness in the morning.

Turning on the water to get ready for your morning shower, you typed out a reply to your boyfriend.

                                                             good morning shouto 🥺 i just woke upp

                      imy so much as well, i promise i’ll be with you when i get back!!💕

You stripped off your clothes and hopped into the shower, the water more on the warm side, exactly how you liked it.

After about 20 minutes, you stepped out with a towel wrapped around your torso, the cool air hitting your legs, making you shiver slightly. You made your way over to your closet in the corner of your room, picking out what clothes to wear.

It was scorching hot out, and you were feeling lazy, so a simple black t-shirt and a pair of jean shorts seemed like a good choice.

The time was about 9:40 when you had finished brushing your teeth and mindlessly slapping on some sunscreen, you didn’t want to become tan, after all.

Internally crying, you shoved your wallet with your credit card inside your small purse you usually brought when you went shopping, making a note to yourself to cut down a bit on your purchases. 

You knew that promise was going to go out the window as soon as you step foot in a store, but hey, you always felt better after coming back to the dorms with bags of clothing in your hands.

Deciding to head down to the common room earlier to grab a quick snack to eat, you received another message from your phone.

shouu <33 : i’ll be waiting for you, love.

shouu <33 : are you sure you don’t want to use my father’s credit card? i don’t think he would really care if it gets maxed out, you know.

You giggled at your boyfriend’s message even though you knew he was being 100% serious.

                                                                                   shou...bby, i cant do that-

shouu <33 : alright then, be safe and text me when you get there, okay?

                                                                                                            i will! ily <33

shouu <33 : i love you too :)

When you reached the common room, you were met by pink, black, green, and brown haired girls.

“Y/N!! Good morning!!”

“Good morning, Y/N.”

“Hey Y/N-chan, ribbit.”

“Oh hey Y/N!”

You smile at your energetic friends, Mina, Momo, Tsu and Uraraka, who were all lounging on the couches. 

“Good morning, guys.”

Mina lets out a whine, “Where is Jirou? That girl is almost always never on time-”

“What’s that, Mina?”

A voice from behind the girls spoke, causing everyone to jump and turn at the same time. 

“O-oh good morning Jirou-”

The purple haired girl stood behind the couches, and your eyes scanned over her outfit. A white, loose short sleeve hung around her shoulders, paired with some black shorts. A simple outfit, yet she made it look so much more appealing.

She charged towards Mina, who was now desperately hiding behind Uraraka. It was then that you finally took notice of the other girls’ outfits, and suddenly became all too aware of your own.

Mina, with a pink shirt tucked into her jeans, a black belt as a finishing touch. Her curves showing perfectly, all in the right places. You would expect her pink hair to be messy and puffy, but it was tamed, neatly brushed, and reminded you of soft cotton candy. 

A cropped maroon top, with black jeans, complementing Momo’s smooth, black hair which was put up in a lower pony tail than usual. Her gentle features sure to attract admirers wherever she went. The way her dark bangs framed her face, the way her smile was bright, genuine - an appearance of a true, proper lady. 

You glanced down at your own outfit, trying to smooth out wrinkles in your own shirt. No genius was required to see that you obviously stood out in your group of feminine friends, you being the only female with short hair and a different style.

It wasn’t that you hated the way you looked, but it made you think sometimes that you weren’t as attractive or liked as much, compared to your friends.

“Well then,” Uraraka clasped her hands together, interrupting your thoughts, and grinned. “Shall we get going?” 

You all cheered, getting up and ready to head to the shopping mall. 

Mina locked her arms in yours and dragged you out of the doors, grinning at you while the other girls trailed behind.

“Come on old ladies! We’re gonna max out our cards!!” She yelled at the sky once you were outside, the hot summer air hitting your skin immediately. 

“Hey, who’re you calling an old lady?!” You smacked Mina’s arm, making her stick her tongue out at you.

“Fine, whoever gets there last is an old lady!!” 

Your pink haired friend takes off toward the mall which was located about 20 minutes away from your school, with you laughing and running after her, followed by your other female friends.

The negative thoughts you had on your mind previously vanished as you all ran after one another, not giving a care in the world to the questioning looks passersby shot your ways. Spending time with your friends always somehow managed to brighten your mood, regardless of whether they knew how you were feeling or not. 

And your love for them could never be put into words.

6 girls arrived at the Misako Mall, panting, out of breath as they bought water from a vending machine.

“Oh-” You pant, fumbling with the buttons on the machine, inserting a few coins in and watching as the bottle falls to the bottom. 

“Ura-ha..ha...Uraraka, you’re an old...ha...lady!” Mina teased the gravity-quirked girl in between breaths.

“Yo-you’re so mean, ha, Mina,” Uraraka coughed, sputtering as she practically shoved the water bottle down her throat, drinking half of the bottle in a few seconds.

“Slow down - ribbit - Ochaco-chan,” Tsu patted the said girl’s back, making sure she didn’t choke.

“Well, guys, where do you want to go first?” Momo spoke up, after you guys rested a bit on the benches in the lobby. 

“I kind of wanted to check out the accessories in that shop we passed earlier,” Jirou scratched the back of her neck awkwardly, nodding towards a shop near the entrance of the mall.

You all turned to look at the store she was talking about, not surprised to see the exterior of the shop decorated in dark, emo-style accessories - exactly Jirou’s style.

“I want to go there too - ribbit,” Tsu nodded in agreement, this time shocking the group, since Tsu had always seemed to be into more cuter accessories. 

“I was actually interested in that one over there,” Momo tapped her chin thoughtfully, gesturing towards a high-class looking store on the second floor of the mall. 

“That looks nice! I really like that white dress they have in the front,” Uraraka stared dreamily at the level above you guys, and an idea popped into your head.

“Why don’t we split into pairs? That way, we can all check out the stores we want to and meet up back here when we’re all done!” Your suggestion earned approving nods from the rest, all of you agreeing to text in the groupchat you had when you were finished in your stores.  

Tsu and Jirou, Momo and Uraraka, and you and Mina walked off into different directions of the mall, chatting excitedly.

You and Mina decided to first go into a casual-styled store filled with jeans, tops, jackets, etc. 

Walking into the store, a friendly cashier at the counter greeted you guys, who you both smiled back at.

Thankful for the cool air conditioner providing a contrast to the burning weather outside, you scanned the racks for anything that caught your eye.

“Oh! Y/N look here!” You turned to where your pink friend had ran to, spotting her a few aisles down.

Making your way towards her, she holds up a light pink, off the shoulder top decorated with small flowers and a lace ribbon in her hands eagerly.

“Do you think this would look good on me? I really like the color!” She beams at you, holding the clothing item up to herself, admiring it in a tall mirror nearby. 

You study it for a second, before smiling back at her and nodding excitedly in agreement.

“It suits your skin color so well too! You should go try it on!”

“You think so??” She grins at you happily as you chuckle back in response. 

“You should pick out some clothes first, then we can go to the changing rooms together!”

“Okay, let me look around a bit more!” You walk off to the other side of the store, studying any clothes that may peak your interest. 

A striped red, orange, and white button-up shirt catches your eye, hanging on one of the racks. You take it and hold it up to your torso, satisfied with the way it looked. 

Keeping it around your arm to try on later, you decide to pick out a few more clothes to try on to avoid making multiple trips to the changing room. Just as you were about to turn around and continue your search for more clothes, you felt a figure approach behind you. 

“Hey, uh, sorry to bother you but I thought you were really pretty, and I was wondering if I could get your number?”

A voice made you turn around, and you were met by a man who looked a bit older than you. 

He was standing right in front of you now, his eyes staring at...the top of your head?

You cleared your throat awkwardly, not expecting the sudden question. 

“Oh! Thank you, but I have a boyfriend already, I’m sorry-”

The man’s eyes finally focus on your face, before laughing at you.

Wait, what?

You furrowed your eyebrows at the still laughing man, who looked down at you like you were a mere piece of dirt below him.

“I’m not talking to you, you’re not even pretty?” He scoffed when you gaped at him. 

“I’m talking to the hottie behind you,” He grinned and stared past you to whoever was standing there.

You slowly turned around, expecting to see some random stranger behind you, but you were met by a puff of familiar pink hair.

“O-oh, Mina...” You mumbled, not wanting to make eye contact with your friend, disheartened from the man’s words.

You were never one to get bothered by anyone’s words, especially not from a stranger, but this one hit you differently.

“What did you say to my friend?! You wanna repeat that, huh?!” Mina yelled at the man, steam almost emitting out of her pink ears. 

“Woah, calm down, pinkie, I just wanted to get your number - I didn’t know she was your friend.” He chuckled, and glanced at you again.

“Just saying, you could do so much better.” It was like bullets, the man’s words, aimed straight at your heart.

Storming up to the man, Mina slapped him directly on his face, leaving both of you in shock.

“Say that again, I dare you!!” You ushered Mina away from the furious man despite her protests of wanting to beat him up.

“Hmph, who does he think he is?!” You stopped walking when you guys were a good distance from the stranger.

You bit your lip, trying to suppress your emotions and not make a fool of yourself in a public space.

“It’s fine, I-I don’t really care,” Sighing, you gave Mina a small unconvincing smile, which she saw right through.

“Are you okay, Y/N? Don’t listen to him! He’s just blind,” She huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. 

You chuckled softly, trying to change the subject, “I’m fine, come on, let’s go try on our clothes.” 

Mina sighed, eyeing the one top you had on your arm. “You only have one shirt? Don’t you want to try on more?” 

You scanned the racks around you guys, randomly picking a pair of black plaid pants, flashing your friend another smile. 

“It’s okay, there’s not much I like here,” You grabbed her arm and led her into the changing rooms, chuckling at her pile of clothes hanging over her arm. 

“You sure got a lot, Mina.”

“Their clothes are really nice!!” 

Mina and you went into rooms besides each other, and you could hear the girl squealing while trying on her clothing.

Instead of trying on your clothes immediately, you slumped against the white door, taking a deep breath, the man’s comments still on your mind.

You’re not even pretty.

You could do so much better.

Wrapping your arms around your torso, you looked in the mirror on the wall across you, taking in your appearance.

There were few things about you that would seem appealing to any man, and you should’ve gotten over the stares people give you wherever you go by now, but it was hard.

It really was.

Of course people would be attracted to Mina first, or anyone in your friend group, for that matter. She was outgoing, kind, bright, and feminine. 

Tears poking at the corners of your eyes, you quickly wiped them away with the back of your hand before they fell. 

Why couldn’t people just accept who you were?

Why couldn’t people accept the fact that you were happy in your own body, and that you loved yourself the way you were?

The common stereotype that all females had to be feminine, had to be proper, you were tired of it.

A loud knock from the other side of the door you were leaning against sounded, and you jumped a little, before hearing your friend’s cheery voice. 

“Y/N! Are you finished? I want to show you the top!”

“Oh- One second!”

Quickly tidying up your appearance to get rid of any hints of your silent breakdown, you unlocked the door and looked over Mina.

You were right.

The light pink color of the top really did complement her skin color well, her slender shoulders were exposed, and the lacey ribbon around the collarbone area of her shirt gave it a finishing touch.

Gasping, you admired how good it looked on her, while she giggled and jumped excitedly in place.

“It looks so beautiful on you Mina!!” You gave her a small hug, giggling along. “It’s like it was made for you!”

“Thanks!! What about your clothes?” She nodded towards your top and pants still sitting in the changing room, untouched.

You coughed, “Oh- uh give me a second, I still need to try on the top,” She nodded and pushed you back into the room eagerly.

“Show me when you’re done!”

You nodded and smiled back at her before walking back into the room and locking the door behind you.

You had already lost all interest in shopping today, but reluctantly changed into the striped button-up shirt, looking at yourself in the mirror. 

It was okay, nothing really special, and you certainly wouldn’t be spared any second glances from anyone. Not that you cared, you were already in a happy and healthy relationship with Shoto.

Shoto.

A thought suddenly popped into your mind. 

What did Shoto think about your appearance? Coming from a rich family, it was only natural that he would be into proper, feminine females. 

Why was he even dating you? Does he actually mean it every time he calls you beautiful?

Maybe you should change your hairstyle. Or the way you dressed. Maybe then, Shoto would love you.

Maybe then, he would think you’re beautiful.

Running your hand through your short strands of hair, you suddenly didn’t want to be here anymore.

You wished you were in the safety of your dorm, under the blankets where no one would have to look at you.

You were probably an eyesore, walking around everyday at school, getting judgmental looks from left to right.

Shaking your head, you tried to push those thoughts to the back of your mind, straightening yourself back up.

Unlocking the door again, wanting to get this day over with, you were met by a excited Mina as she looked over at you. You noticed that she had changed back to her own shirt.

“You look great Y/N!!” She hopped excitedly over to you as she admired your top.

You shrugged, glancing down at your top. “I mean, it’s okay, I guess.” 

She raised her eyebrows at your response, asking worriedly, “Do you not like it?” 

“Not really, it’s kind of plain.” Sighing, you picked at the sleeves and wrinkles of the shirt. 

“Oh,” Mina pursed her lips together, cocking her head to the side. “That’s alright, then. What about the pants?”

Truth was, you had forgotten to try on the pants while you were inside, and you didn’t want to risk purchasing something you weren’t sure would look good on you.

“Oh-uh, I didn’t like that one too much either,” You glanced back at the item still hanging in the changing room.

“Oh no,” Mina pouted. “Are you going to buy anything?”

Biting your lip, you shook your head. “Guess not.”

It wasn’t really that you didn’t want to buy anything, you just thought that at this point, it didn’t matter what you wore.

Because, you weren’t as feminine as other girls.

"Give me a second to change back, and we can go to another store.” She looked like she was about to say something, but decided to close her mouth and nodded instead.

The remaining time you spent with Mina was just her jumping around stores excitedly and you mindlessly staring at clothes you wouldn’t ever buy.

It was about 2 in the afternoon when you all decided to meet back up, ready to head back to school.

You realized that you hadn’t bought a single item in the past 4 hours spent in wandering around the mall. 

“Y/N! Did you not buy anything?” Momo asks worriedly as you and Mina approach the other two pairs in the lobby.

You shook your head at the tall girl, sighing, “Nothing really caught my eye today.”

“Oh, we can walk around a bit more together if you’d like!” Uraraka offers, holding a large bag in her own hands.

You smiled at her words, shaking your head again. “No, it’s alright! I’m sure we’re all tired, let’s head back.” 

“Gosh, this weird man came up to us earlier and had the audacity to call our little Y/N here unattractive??! And then proceeded to ask for my number??” Mina huffed, clenching her fists dramatically at the memory.

You chuckled awkwardly. “Mina, you didn’t have to slap the poor man.”

“Poor man? By the sounds of it, he hasn’t learned his lesson yet.” Jirou speaks up, cracking her knuckles, eyes darkening. “Where is he?”

You laughed. “Jirou-”

“Oh dear, that’s terrible.” Momo patted your shoulder. “You’re very beautiful, Y/N, you know that?” 

You smiled at the kind girl, letting out a deep breath. 

“I understand where he’s coming from, though...” You mumbled quietly.

“Did you say something, Y/N?” Uraraka asks from next to you.

Shaking your head quickly, you link your arms with the brown haired girl, grinning at everyone. “Let’s head back now!”

Pushing open the large glass doors, you were met once again by the humid air, the sun’s rays burning down on your exposed skin.

The girls chattered happily about their new purchases, peeking inside the others’ bags and taking a couple out to show.

Even though you walked in the middle of Uraraka and Momo, you couldn’t help but feel left out, not having any new clothing to wear.

Swallowing the lump in your throat, you nudged Momo, making her turn around and look at you.

“Hey Yaomomo, what’d you get?”

She smiled and opened her bag for you to peek inside, and you almost had to close your eyes from the amount of bling inside,

Bling, meaning dresses decorated in gems, with a few jewelry pieces and other accessories. Of course, there were a couple casual wear on the bottom of the bag.

“Oh, I’m not even surprised anymore,” You pretended to huff at Momo, turning the other way.

“You’re so classy and fancy, Yaomomo, are you trying to flex your class on me?” 

She laughed, slapping your back lightly. “Oh sorry, I just can’t help that I’m so rich and proper.” 

You tensed up at her words. Of course, you knew she was being sarcastic, but her use of words hit the same spot in you again as earlier. 

“Hey guys...” Mina starts, wiggling her eyebrows.

“What?” An ominous feeling settles in all of your stomachs. 

“Last one to the dorms is an old lady!” 

All of you groan, watching as the pink alien girl takes off once again, having no choice but to follow behind.

6 girls arrived back at the dorm building, panting once again. 

“Mina- ha, I swear to - god,” You breathe out, pants coming from all six of you.

Mina just giggles at you as you all arrive back in the common room. Your classmates are sprawled out in different places throughout the room, and their heads all perk up simultaneously at the new arrivals. 

Bakugou were surrounded by Kirishima, Kaminari and Sero, as always, trying his best to swat them away. 

Tokoyami and Aoyama were chatting in the kitchen, while Iida, Midoriya and Shoto hung around the TV, watching whatever movie was put on.

Ojiro, Koda, Shoji, and Sato were nowhere to be seen, you guessed they were up in their own rooms. 

“Oh, hey guys! Welcome back!” A certain red-head’s voice chirped from the middle of the room, flashing you all his big smile.

“Hey Kirishima!” Mina smiled back at the boy before making her way up to her own room to organize her newly bought items. 

Momo, Tsu, Jirou, and Uraraka followed after her, while you made your way over to where your boyfriend was on one of the other couches. 

“Hey, love.” Shoto smiles at you softly as he opens his arms for you to give him a hug. 

“Hey Sho,” You happily accept your place in his arms, tired from the long day you had. “I missed you.” 

“I missed you as well,” He plants a small kiss on the top of your head. He was about to say something else before a realization dawns on him.

“Love, did you not buy anything?” You gulp, afraid that your boyfriend would see through your feelings and ask you what was wrong.

“Oh- uh, I just didn’t feel like anything caught my eye today!” You shrug, hoping that he would accept your answer and move on.

Of course, Shoto could be dense at times, but he is everything but stupid.

He always knew how you adored these little shopping sprees with your girls, and never once had you arrived back empty handed. On top of that, your vibe just seemed a bit...off.

“Can we go to your room and cuddle? I’m a little tired,” You look up at him, to which he responded by giving you a small kiss and chuckling.

“Of course, let’s go, love.” 

After saying goodbye to Iida and Midoriya, you both made your way to Shoto’s dorm, immediately flopping down on the bed after stepping inside.

Shoto laughed softly at your eagerness, wasting no time and following in after, wrapping his arms around your waist and pressing you flush against his chest.

The warmth and vanilla scent of your boyfriend was enough to calm you down and get rid of any past bad thoughts you were having earlier that day.

You felt him bury his face inside your hair, inhaling softly your shampoo from this morning. Normally, you would’ve swooned at the action, but it somehow made you feel uneasy. Insecure.

Shriveling away a little from his body, you were met by a very confused Shoto staring back at you.

“...Love?”

You bit your lip, not sure how to explain why you seemed uncomfortable.

“I-,uh, Shoto?” Your eyes made contact with his as he hummed in response. You decided it was now or never.

“Do you...think I’m pretty?” Biting your lip anxiously as you awaited his answer.

Confusion flashed through your boyfriend’s face. What kind of a question was that?

That was what he wanted to ask, until he noticed the tears forming in your eyes, and worriedly sat up, bringing you with him.

“Of course I think you’re pretty. You’re beautiful, darling.” 

Not convinced, you sniffle before asking again, “Really?”

He furrows his eyebrows together, lifting you up and onto his lap so you were straddling him now, both of you in a sitting position.

“Did something happen, love? Why are you asking me these questions?” He reaches up to wipe a stray tear that had slipped its way through your eyes with his thumb. 

“No reason-” You started, but your boyfriend’s piercing gaze told you he wouldn’t take that as an answer.

Taking a deep breath, you avoided his eyes as you began to speak.

“Today, when we were at the mall, a man came up to me, called me pretty, and asked for my number-”

Shoto raises his eyebrows, to which you wave away quickly.

“-I thought he was talking to me, but turns out he was speaking to Mina, who had been standing behind me. He then called me-” You cleared your throat, a bit anxious for your boyfriend’s reaction. 

“He said that I wasn’t pretty, and that Mina could do so much better than being friends with someone like me...” Your voice trails off as you felt Shoto’s grip on your waist tighten.

“He...what?” You could’ve sworn you saw flames flicker behind Shoto’s eyes, his left and right hands heating and cooling on your sides without thinking, to which you yelped a little, surprised by the temperature change.

His eyes softened, looking down at your waist and rubbing it softly. “Oh- I’m sorry, love, I did not mean to hurt you.”

You shake your head, smiling at him. “You didn’t hurt me at all, Shoto.”

He exhales deeply, looking into your eyes. “Baby, you’re the most beautiful, kind, amazing girl I’ve ever met in my life. Don’t ever listen to what anyone else says, you’re absolutely perfect the way you are.”

Shoto plants a deep kiss on your lips, tears threatening to spill over at his touching words.

When you pull away, there’s still a lingering thought in the back of your mind. 

“Don’t you ever wish - that you had a more...you know...” You rubbed your eyes, sniffling as the first few tears made their ways down your cheeks.

Shoto tilts his head to the side as he pulls you closer to his body, rubbing soothing circles on your lower back. 

“A what, love?”

“You know, a more...feminine...girlfriend?”

You nervously glance at him, waiting for his response. 

There’s silence for a moment, and your heart drops. 

“Who ever said that girls have to be feminine?” 

You directly look into his eyes for the first time that evening, confusion plastered on your face.

Shoto has a soft and loving, but firm expression as he speaks. 

“I don’t care if you dress, or appear differently than other girls. There is no “correct” way to look if you are a certain gender. You’re absolutely beautiful no matter what you do, or wear.” He leans forward to peck your lips once again.

“But...when I look at someone like Yaomomo, she’s just - so much more attractive and proper than someone like me...”

Shoto sighs, tilting your chin down to look at him.

“Proper? What’s not proper about you, Y/N? Your hair? Your clothing choices? Baby, you could wear a trash bag, have long hair - or even shave your head bald, I’d still fall in love with you all over again.” 

You giggle a little, making him chuckle, seeing that he successfully cheered you up a bit.

“I mean it, Y/N. I love you, and I’ll continue loving you, forever. Please don’t ever feel like you have to compare yourself to other girls, because you’ll always be the prettiest girl in my heart.”

Your heart felt like it was on the verge of bursting as you leant forward, kissing your boyfriend deeply. It was like all your emotions were expressed through that kiss. It was almost as if Shoto’s loving words washed away every single insecurity that has ever passed your mind in your whole life.

“Thank you so much, Shoto. I love you, so, so much.” You both grin as you placed your foreheads together, noses brushing against each other. 

“I want you to say it, love. Tell me you love yourself, and that you’re beautiful.” 

Your face heated up from the request, placing your hands on Shoto’s shoulders and trying to push him away, only to have your wrists caught by his strong hands as he leaned closer. 

“Come on, Y/N, I’m waiting,” he smirks at your flustered expression. 

You pouted a bit, before taking a deep breath, embarrassed from Shoto’s intense stare.

“I-uh- I love myself the way I am, and...I’m beautiful.” You squealed and cover your face with your hands after finishing your sentence, not used to those words coming out of your mouth.

A laugh escapes Shoto as he pries your hands away from your face, placing a kiss on your nose. 

“That’s right, love. What do you say we go shopping tomorrow, just me and you?” 

Your eyes brightened at the idea, and Shoto could feel butterflies flooding his stomach. 

“Yes!! I’d love that, Shoto,” You threw your arms around your boyfriend’s neck, burying your face into his hair.

He chuckles in response, leaning back and studying your face for a moment, making you confused.

Then, he takes your arms and pushes you back until your back is pressed against the bed, pinning them above you. His body hovers over yours, as his knee sneakily moves up to place itself between your thighs.

“But right now, let me show you just how beautiful you are, darling.”