#also i have severe anxiety though so the ''what if you just haven't found the right person'' thing haunts me

[pa-pa-plasma]

growing up ace/aro is so funny because you spend all your time thinking that just being able to acknowledge someone is conventionally attractive or "hot" is sexual or romantic attraction & then one day someone hits you with the "I would actually date/have sex with this person & would change my behaviour/life to do so" & you're like whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatt???

[aro-absol]

I found a canon (word used!) grayromantic aroallo character!

The book is called "Loving Lee" by Cozy Dubois.

The book is about Lee, an audio technician at a gay bar, falling in love with the new drag queen Carlita/Antonio. It also tells the stories of his found family members, struggling with love, work and other things. All main characters are in their 20s and 30s, and all of them are queer in some way. There's lots of bi/pan characters, as well as trans and intersex representation. It also features an alloace side character.

It's a very characters-driven story with multiple POVs. I especially enjoyed how the communication was done, and all of the characters felt very authentic to me.

The greyromantic character actually falls in love for the first time, and while the greyromanticism isn't a focal point of the story, I think it was nicely done. We get to see the character trying to handle all these new feelings and being a little overwhelmed by them.

I think it's the first in a series, but I haven't read the others yet.

Be warned, though, this book features a lot of romance and several graphic sex scenes. But if that doesn't bother you, I'd totally recommend this book! I've enjoyed it a lot. It feels a little like checking in with your friend group, and I absolutely love that.

Other than that, the novel deals with various mental health issues, past trauma, becoming sober from a drug addiction, and (extreme) homophobia/transphobia.

Goodreads page with more info

Below, I'll take more about the aromantic representation. I also have screenshots of the scene that is about the character's greyromantic identity. Spoilers ahead!

So, the greyromantic character is actually Antonio, one of the main characters and the love interest of the protagonist. He has a reputation as a fuckboy. When Lee falls in love with him, all of his friends warn Lee about Antonio. Little does anybody know that Antonio is falling for Lee just as hard.

He had already worked for the gay bar once a few years ago, and then moved to New York to chase his big dreams of becoming as successful drag queen. That didn't work out, though, and all he got was an addiction. At the beginning of the novel, he had just moved back to be closer to his family again, so he had a support system to help him stay sober. He also starts doing drag there again, and this is where he meets Lee.

In the following scene, he's talking to Jackie, his alloace coworker, who he has known for years. I found this scene very relatable. Not knowing what I crush feels like, and thinking the description sounds like anxiety, are common aro experiences, I'd say. And weirdly enough, I Jackie's answer makes me feel really aromantic, as I've definitely never experienced that.

And then, a little later, it is talked about why he uses the grayromantic label and how he feels about it (descriptions of his past drug addiction ahead):

I never had an addiction before, but I can understand Antonio's insecurities very well. It's just so hard to prove a negative, and trying to rule out other possible explanations for your feelings (or lack thereof) isn't any easier.

Overall, I think the representation was very nicely done. I think it might be the best arospec-who-feels-romantic-attraction representation I've ever seen.

[dogcircle-scans]

I'm really curious to know if you have officially dropped the manga. If so (and even if not obvs), I'd just like to thank you for so many amazing years of awesome translations. This manga may not be very popular in the west but I'm glad you kept bringing it for so many of us

Hey, sorry for just now seeing this even though this question was sent back in late November.

No, we haven't officially dropped the manga, and Idk if any group has picked up the series while I was gone. Emphasis on the "I" because our absence was not a consenting choice made by anyone else in this group. So if anyone harbors any kind of resentment, then do not direct it towards anyone but me. If we ever decide to officially drop the series, I'll make an official announcement on this blog. To be honest, I wasn't really gonna make much hubbub about a comeback and just post a chapter as if no time had passed. But, because I got this question and you were very nice about it. I'll give some insight.

- 🦙

The only reason I'm an active part of this fandom (any fandom now really) despite it being against my lurker nature and excessive anxiety issues is because I was encouraged to do so by a friend. If you know me from Discord, then you probably know that aside from running this blog, I'm leader of the scan group and owner of its server, I'm even an admin for the Natsume fan server which is its own separate thing.

I don't know if that sounds already sounds overwhelming, but just to scare you, I also proofread the scripts so the dialogue sounds natural and act as quality checker for each chapter. This means cleaning/redrawing sections of pages if the CLDR forgot or didn't meet the standard of quality I'm looking for. Similar with typesetting, I'll rearrange the text if I feel it could be done better. I'm also the main SFX person. When it comes to the scan server, outside of running and maintaining it, I also act as mod to make sure people aren't posting anything inappropriate or inoffensive + setting up bots and permissions.

When I was in High School and even during my early years of college, I could manage it cause I had the support and energy for it. Plus, my love for Natsume was scary intense. So when life got hard, I found that working on scans acted as a lifeline.

Then I had a messy fallout with the friend who prompted all of this, and things shifted. It didn't help that things in my personal life got really bad and more or less stayed that way for 2/3 years. And because of the association, and the guilt of falling behind, working on Natsume was no longer a stress-relieving activity. It became the source of my stress. I ran away because I was scared and overwhelmed. It wasn't healthy and it only made things worse, honestly.

But, I've been really hard on myself over this past year, and I finally reached the point of wanting to come back, but the guilt from being a deadbeat was still eating me alive. Then I got really sick at the start of this month, and I'm no lie, I'm still sick... but that gave me a lot of time to think and reevaluate all kinds of things. Because honestly? I miss working on scans and the collaborative aspect that I fell in love with because of Natsume.

And literally just this past Saturday/Sunday night, I sent a message to the group, apologizing for what I did and provided a similar explanation of why I did what I did. I trying it as just an explanation and not an excuse - I hope I was able to do that here too.

I told my group to give me several days before I actually start working on scans again, though, because it'll allow me to catch up with everything and figure out what needs to be done next, and it'll also give me more time to recover.

Thank you once again for being kind and understanding! I really appreciate it 🥹💚

[sylusjinwoon]

{ 155 }

follow you.

jinwoo sung x fem.reader

{ i will follow you way down wherever you may go | i'll follow you way down to your deepest low | i'll always be around wherever life takes you | you know i'll follow you... }

anonymous said: Is it possible to have a scenario with Jinwoo where f.reader is dealing with a co-worker in his 50s at work who makes her uncomfortable by making inappropriate remarks in his conversations with her and never respects her personal space, she isn't scared of him but he makes her anxious and nervous at his sight for 7 months straight...and she doesn't tell Jinwoo until he starts noticing that she spaces out more often lost in her thoughts. (Its a true event that happened to me at my work and I hope you can write a comforting scenario for it😮‍💨 also eager to see more of protective Jinwoo 😏)

lately, you found yourself dreading the thought of going to work.

you were a young woman who was a regular civilian in this world filled with hunters, gates, and monsters. ever since these strange gates began to appear all across the world, thousands of people awakened with this unique ability to combat against these threats-

your boyfriend being one of these well known hunters.

however, you were not one of those special humans that had awakened with these abilities.

which was why you worked a regular office job in the midst of the city. and your job was by no means too difficult-

however, there was just one tiny issue with your workplace-

and that came in the form of your highly persistent coworker.

he was a balding man that appeared to be in his mid-50s named ryung. the moment your assigned cubicle was directly next to him, the man made it his life's mission to constantly flirt with you. in between breaks, he would find you and proceed to talk to you, all while placing lingering touches against your arm or shoulder.

"you're so beautiful, hehe."

"you say you have a boyfriend, but i don't believe he's serious about you. hell, if i were 30 years younger, i would have snatched you up and put a ring on that pretty little finger of yours!"

"damn, your ass looks fine in that skirt..."

hearing such constant remarks was enough to make you shudder.

despite the many times you told him you had a boyfriend (that also worked as a powerful hunter!), the man refused to back off. and the fact that this had been going on for nearly 7 months now made it so much worse for you.

now, you were filled with anxiety when ryung casually saunters up to your cubicle. even during the times where you purposely ignored him, the man would simply proceed to linger outside of your cubicle, forcing you to listen to his heavy breathing and crazed mutterings, only walking away when the sounds of your other coworkers approaching forces him to make his retreat.

you thought about turning in your letter of resignation several times, but always decided against it, since this was a good job that paid well-

and you didn't want your boyfriend to do all the heavy lifting when it came to your shared finances.

being so caught up with your thoughts, you couldn't even touch the breakfast your boyfriend had made for you, making him frown in response. he calls out your name several times, but you remain completely unresponsive to him.

"sarang." he calls out your nickname while brushing the ice cold glass of orange juice against your cheek. the sudden, icy sensation felt against your skin successfully manages to break you out of your thoughts, forcing to face your boyfriend's concerned gaze.

"jinwoo... what is it?"

jinwoo sighs before running a hand through his hair, placing the glass of orange juice back on the table. "i was asking you if you were okay for several minutes now, and you just recently responded to me. is something bothering you? i noticed that you haven't been yourself lately... ever since you started your job at that company."

you shift around uncomfortably in your seat, feeling as though you were being interrogated by jinwoo.

"it's nothing, jin. just-"

"bullshit it's nothing."

jinwoo then casually sits back in his seat with his arms crossed, his voice coming out as strained as he was clearly trying to control his anger.

"has ryung been bothering you again?"

your mouth goes dry, meeting jinwoo's gaze with wide eyes.

"h-how did you know about that?"

a smirk paints his handsome features. "have you forgotten just who your lover is?"

ah, that's right... he was the shadow monarch. he probably placed a bunch of his soldiers within your shadow and saw what was going on through their eyes.

"i could always have bellion rip through him for you?" jinwoo asks you while letting out a series of rich chuckles, but you were only half-certain that he was simply joking.

"n-no, you don't need to go that far. ryung is harmless... but a nuisance."

jinwoo hums before gesturing at your plate of breakfast. "come on, go ahead and finish eating. i'm going to take you to work."

"oh, you don't need to, jinwoo-"

"sarang, please, i insist."

with his voice dripping with a saccharine sweetness, you could no longer deny him. letting out a sigh, you give him a nod before returning your attention back to the delicious breakfast jinwoo had prepared for you.

you spend the next thirty minutes making small talk with your boyfriend, setting up plans for the upcoming weekend while being filled with an eagerness for the end of the week. once you finished eating and jinwoo had washed all the plates did he grab his keys. smoothing out your blouse and skirt, you grab your own briefcase while walking out the door with jinwoo.

throughout the whole drive to your workplace, jinwoo holds on to your hand while keeping his other hand on the steering wheel. during every stop light, he brings the back of your hand up against his lips, giving it a sweet kiss while basking in your joyful giggles.

soon enough, jinwoo arrives and parks in front of your office building, unbuckling his seat belt before heading out to open the door for you. seeing him smiling down at you, you give him his hand and allow him to walk with you into the building.

upon entering your workplace, several people recognized jinwoo and immediately greet him (all while trying to hold back their awe). your boyfriend keeps his hand on yours, simply returning their greetings with a smile before escorting you to the elevators.

the ride to the twentieth floor was filled with eager giggles and soft kisses, and you quickly felt your anxieties melt away. a few seconds later, the elevator doors slide open as you and jinwoo walked into the floor where you usually worked.

but instead of allowing you to enter your cubicle, he places a hand behind your back, leading you directly towards ryung's office space.

as if sensing you, the older man looks away from his computer screen, raspy voice calling out your name in an almost possessive manner when he faces you-

only to let out a desperate gasp when jinwoo uses his powers to lift ryung off the ground.

"ack!"

"jinwoo!"

but jinwoo ignores your sudden cries of his name, eyes glowing a bright purple hue as he continues to lift ryung mid-air with his telekinesis. choked sounds were heard coming from the man, and your mind was spinning, becoming filled with a sudden panic-

you didn't want jinwoo to get in trouble because of this man!

"if you continue to flirt with my lover so shamelessly like that ever again, i'll kill you."

within seconds, jinwoo releases his invisible grip on ryung, causing the older man to land on his knees for him. he was coughing, with tears filling his vision as the fear was evident in his eyes. completely ignoring ryung, jinwoo turns his attention back to you all while giving you a sweet smile.

"come, i'll take you back to your cubicle, sarang."

you give jinwoo an exasperated sigh, running your hips against his all while whispering to him, "you're insane, using your powers on him like that...?!"

"so what? i put the fear of the shadow monarch into him. there's no way he would dare to flirt with you now."

as if on cue, you hear ryung let out a whimper while pretending to type something on his computer. you shake your head at jinwoo, but still accept his kiss when he leans down toward you.

only after he was satisfied with your kiss did jinwoo pull away from you. "call me when you're done with your shift, and i'll pick you up."

you give him one last nod, watching as jinwoo leaves your office before deciding to login to your own computer, ready to start your day with a confident smile on your face, secretly grateful for jinwoo's intervention as you were certain ryung would leave you alone now.

{ ... }

the next morning, when you came into work and saw that ryung's cubicle was completely emptied of his belongings, confirming your coworker's mention of his sudden resignation-

that was when you let out a relieved sigh while giggling slightly.

perhaps you would need to treat jinwoo to something nice after all.

a.n. - hhhhh more double updates because i love jinwoo soooo much! 😭

all stories are written by rei; reposts, translations, and plagiarism are not allowed.

[someone1348]

It was long overdue...its time; I'm doing a squid games fic! I'm scared, but I'm posting it anyway! I've wanted to write for it for a while now, I just never had ideas or motivation! There's already so many great squid games writers, and I just am nervous!

Anyway!

The people in this: Ler!Jung-Bae, Lee!Dae-ho (naturally, I had to do them first!)

Tw: Anxiety, a little cursing, regardless this is a tickle fic, so if you don't like it, please keep scrolling! Thank you! :]

Also, squid games season 2 spoilers, so if you haven't watched it, I'd recommend watching it first!

With that being said enjoy!! <3

____________~☆°♡°☆°♡°☆~______________

Such a ticklish marine

They had just finished the six-legged pentathlon. Spirits were high for about five seconds before they heard the gunshots again from the other side of the room. Dae-ho squirmed back again, covering his ears. Heart racing as Jung-Bae put a hand to his shoulder. It was almost like it was second nature. Dae-ho definitely showed his love through physical touch, and Jung-Bae did, too, so it just worked. They mirrored each other perfectly. The older of the two really took Dae-ho in, especially after he found out he was also an ex-marine. The bond of marines is unbreakable, but with how big Jung-Bae's heart is, he saw Dae-ho like the son he never had. Even if he doesn't admit it out loud, his actions show everything.

So when he's freaking out, covering his ears, fidgeting, the whole nine yards, he clocked his ptsd pretty fast. It made his heart ache a little for the poor boy. He wanted to, no, needed to do something to help him out. Jung-Bae took a deep breath and walked behind him as they entered the main room. Several teams who made it already sitting on one of the bunks groupped together, naturally. They did the same, sitting down waiting now for dinner to be served. Dae-ho was fidgeting again with his hands, scanning the room as some of the teams gave their team ugly stares. Jung-Bae placed a gentle hand to his knee for support, to try and ground him so he knows that he's not alone. Dae-ho's shoulders jumped a little at the impact but relaxed when he realized it was just Jung-Bae.

"Don't worry about them... they're just greedy assholes. We won't let anything happen to you or anyone on our team." Jung-Bae said with a determined smile as Dae-ho nodded.

"Sir, yes, sir!" Dae-ho replied out of instinct as Jung-Bae giggled gently at this.

"Atta boy!" He gently squeezed Dae-ho's knee as his hearty laughter grew. Without having time to hold back a reaction, Dae-ho squeaked quietly, but it definitely caught Jung-Bae's attention. Even through his laughter, he definitely heard that correctly. Blinking gently, Jung-Bae looked up at the boy with curiosity. Dae-ho's eyes widened. He tried to keep a poker face, like nothing happened, but he was really bad at that. Jung-Bae and everyone around him could see right through him.

"Dae-ho...?" Jung-Bae said a slight tease in his voice.

Dae-ho gulped gently and blinked "Yes...Sir...?"

The nervous reaction sent Jung-Bae's smile into a wicked smirk. He scooted closer to the already anxious marine. Now his heart was racing again, not out of fear, though. It moved quickly knowing what was potentially about to happen. He has four older sisters. He knows a 'I'm gonna tickle you' look when he sees one!

"Don't tell me, you, a strong, brave, ex-marine is ticklish?" He teased him, obviously not talking down to him. Dae-ho knew this and was thankful that he didn't make fun of him for it. It was normal, nothing to be ashamed about. Dae-ho took a deep breath, not knowing how to respond. Jung-Bae just giggled.

"This is gold!" He seemed happier than ever at this newfound information. Was...was that it? Was he really not going to get tickled? Dae-ho was overthinking it before the gaurds called everyone to grab dinner. Snapping out of his thoughts, they all got in line to get their portion of the meals. It was barely anything. Every day, there was less. They did that on purpose, but hey, at least they were getting something to eat.

After getting his tin and water, Dae-ho sat back down in the same spot. Jung-Bae, however, moved up a step to sit next to Dae-ho. The younger looked at the older with wider eyes than normal. Jung-Bae didn't say anything he just opened his tin and started eating.

"What did you get?" The question made Dae-ho blink before he opened his tin.

"Um...the same thing as you, we all get the same thing, sir," he said matter-of-factly. Which again made Jung-Bae giggle. This man was just always full of laughter, even in a situation like this. Something that made Dae-ho admire him even further. The conversation fell silent again as they kept eating. Jung-Bae talking to Gi-Hun and the others before turning back to Dae-ho.

"So...where are you most ticklish?" He asked teasingly and excitedly.

Dae-ho nearly choked on his rice at the question. Coughing a little before regaining his senses, Jung-Bae laughed.

"You okay, soldier?"

Dae-ho nodded quickly. The older patted his shoulder again happily. Jung-Bae was doing all of this on purpose. Sure, he wanted to know this information, but he wanted to help, mostly. He thought that maybe tickling him could help get him distracted enough to calm his anxiety. It worked on Gi-Hun whenever he had nightmares as kids, so maybe it'll help Dae-ho, too. He needed to try regardless. If it doesn't work, he'll try something else. Jung-Bae smirked and went back to teasing.

"If you won't talk, that's fine, I'll figure it out one way or another," he hummed gently, running a hand down his spine. Dae-ho arched gently out of instinct and smiled. Good a smile, that's a start. He's not uncomfortable. That's all he wanted to make sure of first before he could do anything.

Once dinner was completed, Jung-Bae finally put his plan into action. Dae-ho tried to move away to throw his tin away, but Jung-Bae pulled him back.

"Ah ah ah... you can do that later! I wanna see what you can do, boy! You've impressed me a lot as of recently. Let's keep that streak up, sha'll we?" He hummed as Dae-ho raised an eyebrow.

"I'm honored, sir, but I'm not exactly following..." He said honestly as Jung-Bae's smirk returned.

"Don't laugh~" he teased. Without warning, he used both hands to gently squeeze at Dae-ho's sides. A loud shriek rang through the place, followed by laughter and Dae-ho rolling over, trying to escape him. If he started with any other spot, he would've been able to hold it in, but Jung-Bae had to get his worst spot first! On a total guess too! Not fair!

Jung-Bae giggled with him. "You didn't even last a second! Such a ticklish marine~" he teased again, stopping for a second so Dae-ho could catch his breath and sit up.

"That wasn't fair! I could've done better if you didn't go for-" he inhaled and bit his lip as Jung-Bae tickled his neck in retaliation for the attitude. This was so fun for him now.

"Ohhhh, there we go! You're lasting relatively well. Let's see how you pair up against two spots at once!" He cheered before using his other hand to skitter gently across his ribs. Dae-ho squirmed a little but kept his laughter back as best as he could.

"You can do it, Dae-ho!" He supported him while actively scribbling across his stomach to get to each side of his ribs. Back and forth, while his other hand still wiggled against the right side of Dae-ho's neck. It took 10 more seconds before Dae-ho burst out in giggles again. Lying on the steps to try and get away. Jung-Bae's hands followed his movements with a smile.

"Juhuhung-bahahae!! Sihihir! Please! Hahaha!" It was light airy giggles since Jung-Bae was being relatively nice about it, for now. The older marines heart practically melted into puddy at the sound.

"Please what Dae-ho? I can't understand you with all this laughter!" He pulled up his shirt a little, using both hands to now tickle his stomach, which got Dae-ho kicking now. His water bottle now knocked off the stairs. Thank God it was closed. But Young-il had to duck, moving out of the way of the water bottle and the pair.

"JUHuhUhung-BAHaEHe!" He laughed a little more as his hands held onto the others' wrists. The other laughed with him and continued to tease him. One finger finding it's way into his belly button. This caused Dae-ho to make a sound similar to a snort and laugh some more.

"You know I think this might be why you're not a marine anymore, you're an interrogation risk, one little tickle and you'd spill all the beans of our plans" he joked which made the other a little embarrassed. His ears were a little red as he kept laughing.

"HaHaHAHAHA!" He kept going. "I wOhoHould nEHeHeVer! BETraHAhay! My TeHEHEheam!" He tried to defend himself before Jung-Bae smirked. He knew that, duh, but that was still adorable. He liked it when he was laughing rather than panicking. It suited him.

"Tickle Tickle Tickle~" he teased more, moving up to gently tickle his underarms. Dae-ho slammed them down quickly, his laughter never subsiding as he squirmed around on the step.

"GEhehEt OhoHOUT oF tHEHehere!!" He shook his head no as Jung-Bae giggled.

"Oh? Do you want me to pick a different spot?" He asked gently as Dae-ho nodded frantically through his laughter. He soon regretted his decision as Jung-Bae's hands went from his underarms to his sides, squeezing the ex-marine's most ticklish spot with determination.

"AHAHAHAHA NOHOHO HAHAHAHA!" Dae-ho let out a bout of laughter mixed with some incoherent speech. His kicking increased ten-folds as well. He was a squirmer, that's for sure. Jung-Bae smiled and kept going.

"What's the matter soldier? Is it too ticklish for ya? Hmm? I'm gonna getcha!" He was deep into tickle monster mode now. There was no stopping Jung-Bae now. Dae-ho squeaked this time as he let himself laugh.

"IHIHHIT TIHIHIHICKLES! JUHUHUHUNG-BAHAEHE!" He threw his head back gently, laughing as his back arched into his hands out of instinct. This was amusing to Jung-Bae. So he was enjoying this, good!

"SHIHIHIT!-" He said, moving his body back to the floor. Jung-Bae smirked at this.

"Such fowl language for an ex-marine! Watch your tone, young man!" He smiled before blowing a raspberry into one of his sides, still tickling his other side with the other hand. He lost his mind.

"SIHIHIHIR! IHIM SOHOHORRY! MERCY PLEHEHEHEHEASE HAHAHA!" He asked for mercy. Jung-Bae gave him a few more scribbles before he finally stopped. Beaming, Jung-Bae sat back and watched Dae-ho catch his breath, giggles poking through every now and again.

"At ease, buddy"

"Thahank you...sir" he sat up gently as Jung-Bae patted his shoulder again. His duty was done. Mission completed.

"Dae-ho, don't worry about it, you aren't the only ticklish ex-marine around." Gi-Hun smirked as Jung-Bae gasped

"Gi-Hun!" He said, sounded offended even though he really wasn't. Dae-ho giggled at this and turned to Jung-Bae.

"I see..." he hummed teasingly

Like father like son.

---------------------------------------------------

Thank you @sleepy--anon for pushing me further to write for squid games and giving me the duo idea! I hope I did the fandom/show justice!

-K :]

[ciaomarie]

Part 3: What Then?

This was supposed to be a three part series, but it will probably be 4 or 5 parts. Sydcarmy is a tangled mess of intense care interlaced with anxiety and denial. So they need HELP from their friends and family along the way! Here's a convo with Natalie and Carmen. It takes place just a few days after he found out that he'd made Sydney's best meal ever. Then he inadvertently confessed she's the best part of his day and his heart's dearest wish...j/k, but not really ;)

On a brisk Monday afternoon Carmen rang the bell at Pete and Natalie's home. The doorbell's speaker answered back, with Natalie's hurried voice. "It's open Bear! Just come up to the nursery." He entered their home noting the new family photos hanging on the wall leading up the stairs. They were black and white shots with Pete and Nat walking into the hospital, the next just after Baby Angeline was placed in Natalie's arms, another with Pete and the baby, one shot of her curled bitty toes, and the last was all three of them in the hospital bed. Pete had hired a hospital photographer and as antithetical as that was to anyone with an ounce of Berzatto blood, Natalie let him do it. The result was so unexpectedly tender and beautiful that he paused on the stairs to soak it in. Pete is really a good guy. He was made from an entirely different mold than any man Carmy had grown up around. "Carm?!" Natalie called. "Coming." He turned into the nursery to find Natalie bundling up "Angie" and fastening her into one of those baby slings. Then with one fluid motion before he could speak, she slipped the sling over his shoulders. "Okay, Uncle she's yours!" "So, how does this work?" he asked, looking down at his tiny niece, his eyes as big as beach balls. Angie blinked back at him extremely unbothered.

Natalie rolled her eyes and chortled.

"It's already working. It's fool-proof! Okay, let me get my coat and we'll head out." They strolled down the older suburb's tree-lined streets past others pushing babies, walking dogs, and the occasional Amazon delivery truck. "Carmy, this is really nice and you're welcome to drop by anytime, but what did you want to talk about?" Natalie enquired. He had texted her the other night asking to discuss something important. He kept his eyes on Angie's blissful little face, swallowed, and began. "I'd like to split my share of the restaurant with Syd. She's put in so much work, took several months without pay, and even though I'm the EC she's the main developer of at least half of the menu and the weekly specials. When I was sick recently, she ran the place like a pro. She deserves it. Also, I think if I give her a financial stake she'll stay for at least 5 years. We need that. What do you think?"

Natalie contemplated him for a moment. "Well, part of me agrees and the other part...Carmy, please don't get defensive." "Nat. How can I not when you’ve said that?" "Is this a solely a business decision? Because if it isn't I don't think you need to or should do this to keep her. " Carmy stopped walking, his face falling with frustration and shame. "Have you been talking to Richie?" Natalie stopped and took his arm in hers. "No, I haven't. Look, sorry. What I meant is things are so good between you two." They resumed walking. "Yeah, and that's a problem?" "Not at all. The way you are together...maybe it's the hormones but I've cried sometimes because you are just yourself with her. I've never seen you smile so much with anyone else. Your freakin’ posture is more relaxed when she comes in the room. I could go on, Bear." "You see all that? What about-what about her? Am I any good for her?" he asked in a low, wistful tone. Natalie pulled his arm tighter. She paused, to choose her words carefully. She and Camry were no strangers to family interference in their love lives. "Well, I haven't known Sydney that long, but she tends to spiral, and she pushes through until she's sick or lashes out. Kinda like you do. I noticed that it’s gotten better though. Since we opened, you've been consistently checking in with her, collaborating with her, encouraging her, making her take breaks, and pouring time into her. She's far less doubtful; she believes in herself."

Carm nodded slowly, reflecting on Sydney's growth. "Well, she deserves that. I promised her that she wasn’t alone in this. My focus was not where it should’ve have been during the reno and Friends and Family.”

He exhaled heavily and went on.  

“So, it sounds like she lights up my life and for her, I'm a good boss or even her big brother."

Natalie shook her head, smirking.

" Yeah, you’re a great boss now, but little sisters don't look at their brothers the way Sydney does you. Do you remember when we were all talking in my office and you spilled hot coffee on your shirt? You peeled it off and the poor girl looked at you, as your sister it pains me say this, like she wanted to jump you. When you left to get a clean shirt, she didn't remember what she had been saying." " What!?!? Okay...." Carm scoffed trying and failing to suppress a huge smile. "Also, does she ever leave before 11 instead of sitting in those greasy whites with you every single night for how long? One to two hours!?" She continued. "My point is if you want to divide your share with her because it's good business and fair, and I agree it is, then let me do it too so we're even. Otherwise, I think you’re already three-quarters of the way there with her. She doesn't need to be bought."

They walked in silence for a few minutes. "Natalie, I understand, but I still want to split my share. I think it’s the right thing to do. You don't need split yours though." "First I don't want the largest share of the restaurant and second.... Pete and I may move to be near his parents next year." Natalie bit her lip and glanced at Carmy worry etched in her brow.

"We think it would be good for Angie. You know, to be close to her grandparents and she'd have young cousins nearby too." Carm squeezed her arm, missing her already. "Yeah, I met them at the wedding. They were...Pete’s parents for sure. Angie would have a normal set of grandparents around." Natalie took a deep breath, a gamut of emotions crossing her face. "Choosing Pete was the biggest act of rebellion of my life. I honestly felt repulsed by him at first, until I realized that he was real, and I didn't have to be on guard all the time. Angeline should have that from the start." She bent over to kiss her baby's head which was protected from the cool air by a lilac-colored beanie. "Sydney's a really good choice too. Businesswise and/or otherwise. So, if you're certain about this call Uncle Cicero. This won't change anything with our loan repayment, but his lawyer could help draft a contract. Then we'll ask Sydney if she wants to accept and if she refuses...just give her one of those Sydney-land stares of yours."

Carmy groaned. "You did talk to Richie!"

Natalie erupted into a storm of giggles. Carmen dropped her arm.

"Look, he started it. I told him to chill, but that Sydney-land thing...You have an season pass, bro! It’s very cute though.”

Next time on "What Then?"- Sydney's workversary (work anniversary)

[eden-transcendental-youth]

good things!!!!!

so i came out pretty much exactly a year ago and it truly boggles my mind just how much has changed in that time. i barely feel like the same person anymore - it's like he was a bad dream that i've finally woken up from and get to live my life now.

my relationship with my family is worse. but i have friends again, something i barely had a year ago after leaving my old workplace. found family is so amazing and my friends and loved ones mean so much to me. christmas this year showed me that in such a huge way. i have more capacity in me for love than i ever knew or realised, and I'm overjoyed to be able to share the love inside me with the people around me.

it's been a year of healing for me in a lot of ways. not only recovering from and coming to understand the full impact my dysphoria and dissociative issues had on my mental health, and accepting that i have really severe anxiety issues, but also healing in other ways. i no longer work in a place that made me so depressed i basically chainsmoked, i've actively taken steps to improve my screen addiction and entirely removed nicotine from my life. the few times I've smoked a cigarette in the last year i've stopped halfway through and just not been interested anymore? i barely drink alcohol anymore except when i genuinely want to have a drink with friends, and even then i don't feel any kind of compulsion to get blackout drunk like i used to. i've started therapy and started to try and unpack and work through issues i've been repressing and letting fester for years. i've become better at communication and recognising my emotional needs. i've accepted that i'm neurodiverse and now i put a lot of effort into accommodating myself, letting myself stim, trying to unmask more, finding strategies to help me to work through mental blocks and to help me to be productive without getting overwhelmed.

i have a haircare and skincare routine, i've had laser to help with my dysphoria, been officially diagnosed with gender dysphoria and spent over a year now on hormones. i have a much better idea of what clothes i want to wear and suit me. i'm interested in clothes as a means of self-expression now, not just as functional items to cover my body. i got three more tattoos and began to be comfortable enough with my body to take nudes and recognise that i'm fucking sexy as hell. i have a good job, a stable job, and even though i'd realistically like to work less, it's a supportive working environment with accommodating colleagues and a number of other major perks.

i spent so much of 2024 healing. and now i get to live a better life than i ever thought possible even only twelve months ago. i have so much that i want to do that my main problem now is being spread too thin between the things i want to do!

adie and i will be celebrating our 2nd wedding anniversary in april, which is insane. that feels like yesterday and i love them now just as much as then. to be loved is to be changed and the two of us are completely unrecognisable from the two people that first met five years ago and fell so unexpectedly and deeply in love.

i have my first boyfriend (!) and if you haven't noticed, i'm completely head over heels smitten. i'm so excited to see where our relationship goes and how it develops, what things become ours, and who we continue to become as a part of this. we've developed such an amazing emotional connection already and i'm positive that we can only grow from here.

i have new hobbies i love that i do with my friends now. i've tried roller skating, i embroider and mod my clothes, i'm playing music in a band for the first time in eight(!) years, i'm writing again, i still do woodcarving, and i'm cooking as often as i can now we have the new cooker, which has reignited my love for baking bread and cooking all kinds of fun things. more than ever before though, these are social activities for me now. i do things with my friends. and i have more friends than i have in a long time and more emotional space to spend time with them than ever before.

i know who i am better than i ever have in the last twenty three years of my life. my problems still exist, but they're worth fixing now. everything has changed so much and so much of it has been for the better that the bad parts don't affect me anything close to how much they used to. letting myself be the person i want to be, do the things i want to do, and learning about what it is that i want and need has changed me more than anything. i'm finally letting myself eat the nice chocolate, and god, it is delicious. i'm so grateful for the people that have shown me that i deserve to be happy and deserve to make myself happy. i love you all so much.

i love my life, I love my friends, and i'm learning, slowly but surely, to love myself.

[irritablepoe]

what do other people get wrong about poe?

YES MORE POE QUESTIONS!! :D thank you anon, you're really given me all the excuses to ramble lmao

tbh there are not many people on here that get him wrong, at least i haven't seen much? though ofc there are other websites *looks at tiktok with squinted eyes* that reduce him to being a sugar daddy boytoy, which... i mean it's funny. but it's also not everything that he is obviously, especially bc i don't think poe really has a concept of money tbh? like i think he has ridiculously expensive essential things (i say essential but i mean i don't think a mansion is particularly essential lmao) and he also buys things he considers important to show off his abilities, like for example the manuscript, but looking at the anthology (which isn't canon but lets pretend it is for a sec) he only has limited clothing and other than many other rich people would he doesn't just hire someone to get them for him yk? (he also lets mori pay i think right? lmao) in conclusion - he spends his money, yes, but he's not throwing it out the window (debatable tho, i'd call 20 mil a waste but he can do it ig?), nor does he spend it much on his own needs.

many people also forget that yes, he is whiny, but he is also extremely dangerous! his ability could trap nearly everyone and make them defenseless! even chuuya spends a while in poe's book and he's highly capable and intelligent! ranpo was near giving up! this is extremely important to his character and a severe bruise on his confidence! i think many forget that

he is a skilled snipper, can replace a car engine (bro watched one yt tutorial and rolled with it i'm so sure about this) and ofc he is a detective and a writer that impressed ranpo (and can also write a mystery in around 15-30 minutes) and is ALSO the architect for the guild. so. yeah. he's multi-talented as shit, i think people should appreciate that more

also (this list is never gonna end lol) i think people mistake his anxiety in social settings for being shy and i just.. don't think he is shy per se? he's quite boastful when it comes to his writing and his ability that comes with it and on the perfect crime trio case he had no problem at all speaking in public and even with the police. i mean an anxious person that would be worried about how he was perceived he would be worried that he'd be found out to be a criminal which he IS, but he just is so sure of himself that he's left no traces that he's just like "*shrug* yeah that happened, anyway, how are you officer? :D" not quite like that ofc but yk i just think he's more anxious in the way that he hates groups of people bc they overwhelm him quickly in regards to noise and conversation (especially small talk i'd guess) and that he just thinks many people he doesn't take interest in are annoying? that might be a lil controversial opinion tbh but i'll gladly remind you of this panel:

(i couldn't find the official translation help)

tho i also have to say that he calls himself shy here so could be both idk:

hm, yeah i think that's it for now. in relations to ranpo i don't like how people sugarcoat them a lot tbh, i know i've said it before but this really bugs me, like yes they're getting along quite well but i wouldn't call their relationship healthy at all? at least not yet, though i can see that it could work very well eventually. i think poe is doing all these things gladly for ranpo but ranpo has to open up way more and tell poe that he appreciates him, like please, this man is so down bad for you. also pls communicate so that poe doesn't lose himself in his obsession, this can't be healthy come onnn, bro has isolated himself for yearssss

yep, i think that's it, ty anon!!!! <33

[sweetfirebird]

My mother and I just had a long conversation about disaster prep and trauma and experience. (She also lived through one of the big fires and evacuations here in recent years. Then went up to Oregon and got caught in their blizzard and long mass power outage in Portland last winter.) And I mentioned how annoying I found it when people teased me for having stuff to help with disasters around as though I haven't been through several major evacuations and fires and floods in the past several years, most of them on my own, and without a big budget or space to store proper backup supplies or anything--not to mention increasingly extreme weather that also needs to be dealt with on a budget. I suppose from the outside it does look like I am letting my known anxiety issues get the better of me but also... everything I keep around or plan for is based on... you know... actual horrible things that have happened in this area and will likely happen again.

Which is why the comments irk me so much. My brother loved to tease me about them but when he was also caught in Portland's long power outage after the blizzard, he could have used some of the shit I keep around. (And now his husband is like, I am going to buy a big generator and more power blocks and all that. Which is good. Good for them. But that is also the kind of stuff you get when you have money and own a home, which I do not. So I am glad they will have them but also maybe back up off me about my weird little makeshift disaster kits.)

Anyway, my number one thing I will tell anyone who asks about disaster stuff to keep in your home is... get a battery powered radio and keep good batteries around. When communications go down and power goes out, you will need a connection to the outside world for information about what to do and what to expect but also.... it is terrifying to suddenly have no contact with the world beyond your street. You are gonna want that radio. Do not count on your cell phone.

[the-morningstar-family]

If you do asthma testing, pack her favourite plushie and maybe a nice blanket to cuddle her with afterwards. It's often very exhausting and draining, and that might help her cope a little easier!

Lucifer and Nova go to a doctor the next day, right after breakfast. Nova is visibly reluctant. But it's a necessary evil. He would know.

But the suggested items did indeed help. Some paper and pens for the in-between test times and it wasn't too bad.

Not a pleasant experience by any means but far less scary too her.

Now they're sitting in the doctor's office, awaiting the results.

Doctor: “I can say with fair certainty that Nova does indeed seem to have asthma. Though it seems it's not too severe, thankfully.”

Lucifer: “Ah- okay, right. So what do we have to look out for?”

Doctor: “Sometimes strenuous activity might cause it, anxiety and stress. It might not always happen, but be prepared just in case. Ah, and something else”

The Doctor shows a picture of Nova's arm during the correlating allergy test. Some squares wher emade on her arm, on it possible allergens poached. All spots look normal except for one pinkish spot with a small bump.

Doctor: “We haven't found anything she's allergic to, besides mold. Now it certainly can be genetic but it's also possible that it's caused by long exposure to it. Might be the cause of the asthma as well.”

Lucifer thinks back to the dirty apartment she lived in, the bugs and the dirt. And yes the mold.

Lucifer: “... That might not be too far off.”

Nova has been so far quite. Tiredly leaning against Lucifer and listening. She peaks up whispering to Lucifer.

Nova: “What's mold?”

Lucifer: “Oh- uh- Mold is like a tiny plant that can sometimes grow in damp places. Sometimes looks like a spot that keeps getting bigger.”

Nova: “Oh. We had that on our walls”

Lucifer: “Yeah, Hun, I'm sorry”

Nova: “That's bad?”

Lucifer: “It's not something you should be around too often, or it might make you sick”

The girl looks a bit put off, he combs through her hair.

Nova: “I'm sick already, right?”

Lucifer: “... yeah”

The doctor pipes in, seeing Lucifer flailing for a way to explain.

Doctor: “So, like you heard before, you have asthma. This means that sometimes your lungs can get a bit tight, especially if you're around mold. But don’t worry, we have a special medicine that will help your lungs feel better and make it easier for you to breathe, so you can keep doing the things you love.”

Nova: “Is it forever?”

Doctor: “It lessens for some as they grow older. But it more often than not stays, sadly”

Nova: “But you'll make it better?”

Doctor, nodding: "We're going to give you a special inhaler. This is a little device that helps you breathe better if your lungs start feeling tight all of a sudden. If you ever feel like it's hard to breathe, you can use your inhaler, it will help your lungs relax quickly. You’ll need to keep it with you just in case, to make sure you can always breathe easily.”

Lucifer: “Should she take it regularly?”

The doctor shakes his head, placing the device in the king's hand.

Doctor: “If it gets more frequent we might give her regular dosing. But for now, we'll only use emergency inhalers. We're giving her salbutamol. If she has trouble breathing, place this end in her mouth, let her breathe in, hold the breath for ten seconds and exhale.”

Nova: “And if it doesn't help?”

Doctor: “After five minutes, you'll try again. If it doesn't help at all, you go to a doctor. But it'll most likely help”

Lucifer: “Right… thanks Doc”

Doctor: “It's not great to have such a diagnosis, but remember, she can still live a mostly normal life.”

[linmeiwei]

OMG! I recently found your stories and

I'm.

In.

Love.

You've rekindled a fire I haven't felt about P&P variations in a very long time! Yes, there are many good writers, but not very many excellent ones! Your Darcy and Elizabeth, their interactions in all stages are—at least to me—so true to their canon selves, I can easily imagine several parallel universes in which Austen herself might have come up with something like I Dreamt or Betrothed!

Another (very, very) important aspect of their dynamic I absolutely adore in your portrayal of ODC is their sensuality and ardour. It's unlike any other I've read so far, and I'm so grateful for the little scenes of intimacy you've given us— in spite of the position of much of the fandom on sex no less!

(Alas, I am greedy fanfic heaux who was raised in fandoms much hornier than this one, so i cant help but wish for Darcy-centric outtakes for Stranded. Does this exist??? Can it????)

Since I don't yet sound desperate enough, let me ask this: Please tell me you're currently writing a new story? I do realise it takes work and effort and time. Nevertheless, i'm fully committed to being the needy, greedy reader and have therefore no shame in demanding ever more!!

(in reality, of course, I'm beyond thankful for what we have, and can't wait to read all your stories from back to front again and again and again once I've rampaged all the way through, which, at my current speed, should take just another couple of hours, lol 💗💗💗)

Oh wow, thank you so much! It genuinely means so much to me that someone reads what I write, let alone likes it. It's so nice to hear, genuinely, thank you.

Partially, I'm a little flustered reading comments like this, because I write so painfully slowly, and honestly have to go through fifty complete re-writes (as in start from scratch-go again) before I think a story fit to be seen by the eyes of another human being, and even then I'm a bundle of anxiety until the first review comes in. But the fandom has been so forgiving of my many mistakes and so kind in their feedback, and so that really helps me keep going. So, again, thank you!

It does mean that I'm slow with producing more work, though! I do in fact have a completed draft of another novel, that I am now letting rest before I start re-working it again. Which is my long-winded way of saying that, yes, there's something new coming out at some point, but I really don't know when it will be ready (I'm really rather ashamed of how long it's taking me). I have a little toddler and a full time job, which doesn't help, I'm afraid!

Oh and the sex scenes! Yay, I love a good sex scene! I also love horny P&P variations! And I'm so rubbish at writing them, lol! My genuine position on this is that the sex scene comes if it feels right that it should be there (like, in Betrothed it felt right to be more descriptive when it happens, because something fundamental changes for Elizabeth at that point in the narrative, and she breaks the distance between them, purposefully, er, letting him in, so to speak). Stranded was my first novel, so I didn't really know how to do this stuff, so it's coy and full of banter, rather than anything remotely explicit. I hadn't thought about writing any extra scenes for that one, but maybe I will (and if I do, I'll pop it on AO3 for everyone to laugh at :D)!

[elysia-nsimp]

TWST Headcanons!

Hello everyone! I'm starting a new series where I infodump about my headcanons for twst characters. Feel free to request certain characters if I haven't done them already. To start off, here's Jamil Viper! Please ignore the awful quality I swear I tried to fix it

So to start off, what changed physically?

His right eye isn't grey--it's muted green with red in the center. This is the eye his signature spell primarily comes from, which is where the red came from.

he has an eyebrow cut because i have one and its COOL

He has a widow's peak! (That's the point in his hairline, if that term is unfamiliar to you)

He has long, pointed ears. I will elaborate later.

He also has several gold earrings! He has 3 hoops on his other ear.

His tongue is split at the edge. It's not super visible in this card, though.

He also has a tongue piercing, it's a teardrop-shaped Ruby. He takes very good care of it.

Lastly, he has LONG fangs. They poke out of his mouth a little bit.

Elysia, what are these changes for?

Great question! Almost all of these have an explainable reason (except the eyebrow cut and the split tongue thing I just decided he would do that just because), and I'm here to explain them!

So to start off, what is Jamil? In canon, he's a human, pretty simple, but I decided humans are BORING and Jamil deserved to be non-human like the other super cool epic characters like the twins and Malleus (personal opinion alert). In this AU, Jamil is still partially human--mostly human, even--with both his parents being human (mostly), but further up his family tree, there are traces of both gorgon and genie ancestry. How'd he get those in his family tree? Well, long long time ago, an ancestor of Kalim found a lamp that Jafar used to inhabit. As their final wish, they freed the genie. As thanks, the genie decided to stick around and continue to offer help here and there. That genie found a partner out of their lamp, and thus, began the Viper family. Somewhere along the line, one of Jamil's relatives fell in love with a gorgon. Does this mean Jamil can grant wishes? Absolutely not. However, it IS why his family has been serving the Asims for generations.

What new abilities does this grant Jamil?

Honestly, not many changes about him. He isn't even aware he's not fully human, though he has questioned why he looks different than others. Here are a couple things that have been added or changed, though.

He's more inclined to want to help you if you preface whatever you want with "I wish" (he does not even notice this, do not mention it)

He's venomous! If he bites you, it'll paralyze you for about a half an hour, maybe an hour at the worst. He doesn't use this ability much... only if he feels like he or Kalim is in danger or he just REALLY wants someone to shut up.

He reall.y likes lamps.... he has no clue why he just likes lamps

His emotions are slightly easier read, because his ears tilt up or down depending on how he feels and he has zero control over that.

He has a slight lisp that he has spent YEARS training himself out of because of the fangs. It's barely noticeable if you're not listening for it.

Some other headcanons!

These are unrelated to the species change, but still worth mentioning!

Jamil's bisexual, but he was in HEAVY DENIAL for a DAMN long time. He just prefers he/him.

oh boy here's some diagnoses for you: Major clinical depression, anxiety/paranoia (lesser impact), C-PTSD, AUTISM!!!!!!! (he just like me frfr) (also he lives in his mask so it took him a while to figure that out), POTS, assorted other CHRONIC PAIN that hasn't been diagnosed yet

He collects gold jewelry because Kalim used to always want to buy him gold things. Its kind of just become habit to collect anything that looks gold because it was one of the nicer things in his childhood.

He takes EXTREMELY good care of all his jewelry! Especially the tongue gem, since it's the most likely to get infected.

Jamil has joint issues. It's not so substantial that he can't function, but sometimes his arm will pop out of place or ache like all HELL if he overworks himself too much. This is what he uses the arm brace for and why you see him rubbing his arm often. (this is partially based in canon, partially projection because I too am in chronic pain)

mention whipped cream around him and he will go insane (/neg/hj) (based on other RPs he's been in where it's a running gag revolving around him)

He and Najma both don't have great relationships with their parents. Especially after Book 4 and some mandated therapy, Jamil grew bitter of how much his parents pulled him back and made him fear just... talking to Kalim (ofc a lot more went into his blaming of Kalim, but his parents' influence was extremely damaging).

Jamil is extremely overprotective of Najma, even if he acts like she's a major nuisance in his life.

One time he passed out in front of Najma (which made her panic), only for him to sit the fuck back up, walk to the kitchen, and down an entire thing of salt in front of poor Najma's very eyes. She was HORRIFIED, but started laughing once he confirmed he was okay. (This is related to the POTS)

Jamil knows how to pick up fingerprints and has done so on several occasions (mostly to catch Najma after she stole his food)

This is all I can think of off the top of my head. This post may be edited in the future, but for now, thanks for reading my first in-depth headcanon post!!!

[the-haunted-office]

Send me 🫦 to have a New year's kiss at midnight.(For Stanley)

Send me 🫦 to have a New year's kiss at midnight.

Stanley.

Parties.

These two things do not mix well.

Every party Stanley has ever been to has found Stanley standing awkwardly in a corner somewhere, holding a plastic cup full of water, sipping awkwardly at it every now and then, while he awkwardly watched the rest of everyone do their... partying things... and awkwardly wondering at what point it might be acceptable for him to leave.

After one hour? Two? Three?

Suppose that all depended on what kind of party it was and who had invited him.

Of course, Stanley couldn't remember all that, and so none of that mattered in the slightest here. Although... he has been to several parties since then, all which have taken place in the Haunted Office, most of which had been thrown by Thursday, and now... Thursday is gone. And the first party since her death is the New Year's Eve party that Doomsday is throwing.

But... he's also been invited to the party going on at the Sanctuary, thus putting Stanley in a very awkward position. Which party to attend? The one at the Sanctuary? Or the one at the Office? Attend the party with his girlfriend? Or the one with his best friend? Either one would likely be offended should he choose one over the other and, truth be told, both people are equally important to him. He loves and cares about both Patricia and Doomsday in equal amounts, even though the love is in different ways.

Oh... How to solve this problem? What is the correct choice to make here?

Luckily for him, he really does have the best friend in the world, because Doomsday sensed his indecision, and told him to attend the party at the Sanctuary. Although there was still an inkling of doubt hovering around in his gut, in the end he relented and went to the Sanctuary for New Year's Eve.

And that is where he finds himself now, standing off in a corner somewhere, clinging desperately to a cup full of water and trying to blend in with the corner. Maybe no one will notice him standing there. It doesn't matter that he's familiar with all these people and has, indeed, been practically living on and off with them for the past year or so - having gone back and forth between here and the Office at his own leisure - old habits die hard, and social anxiety in crowds is a difficult one to beat.

Patricia coming over to find him brings him out of his shell a little bit, though. A little. Just enough to let go of that cup of water with one hand, so he can free up his other hand with which to hold one of hers.

They mingle about for a little while, until the midnight hour approaches, and by then Stanley has settled down a little bit, become comfortable enough to approach her for a kiss. He's had enough water by now to lend him some confidence too, and besides, it's not like they haven't kissed before and been together for a while.

He smiles at her, leans in to press his lips against hers, feeling his heart skittering away in his chest and feeling himself wanting. But he doesn't want to take too much either, because Patricia seems delicate to him, and he himself feels... damaged in some way, like he shouldn't take too much because he's... Stanley. Just Stanley.

Still. He finds himself bringing up one hand, pulling in his middle and ring fingers, and letting his pinkie, index, and thumb fingers all stand out. The sign for I love you.

@drchandras-sanctuary-for-ais

[indignantlemur]

🌟

OH MY GOODNESS, ANON, I AM SO SORRY! I didn't see a notification about your ask at all! I only found it by clicking on my inbox by mistake! You have my most profound apologies for neglecting you! For this one, I feel like rambing on a bit about Chapter 46!

Spoilers below the cut for folks that haven't caught up to the latest chapter!

Chapter 46 picks up shortly after the end of chapter 45, and is a much more introspective and static chapter than the previous two, which were full of vibrancy, colour, and activity.

For the most part, I wanted this chapter to be about Dagmar and Shral and how they've progressed from the early days - but more importantly, it was an excellent time to address some lingering questions that had been hanging over Dagmar's head for a while now. Dagmar has mentioned that she has a bunch of questions before, but she's never actually managed to find a moment to ask some of them that felt right until now. There is a lingering sense of strong attraction throughout the scene, of giddiness and excitement, but it's balanced with caution and reserve. As much as I had fun writing spicy content for Dagmar and Shral after so long, now wasn't the time for the scene to lean towards that again. This chapter was supposed to be about intimacy without sex.

There's a bizarre and terrifying intensity about letting a new partner undress you for the first time (chapter 45 doesn't quite count), and for some there is a horrible, profound anxiety and sense of vulnerability that comes with that as well. There's a lot of non-verbal checking in, which is just so important, but also there's the way that Shral reaches for her face first above all other options that speaks of a kind of regard that bodes very well for their future. It's very much a deliberate choice on his part.

As the chapter progresses, Dagmar finally asks a very important question, which leads to a much, much overdue conversation between our intrepid heroes. We also see more about the level of insight that Dagmar now has into Shral's character, where before he was still very much a mystery. She's able to puzzle out a lot of his behaviours now, with the help of the bond, but she's also aware that without the fledgling bond she may never have managed. Moreover, Shral is hyperaware of this as well, and was agitated enough about it to conveniently neglect to mention a few small details that provided him with a sense of affirmation without him having to actually ask for it.

“I should have explained at the time,” Shral murmured when she remained quiet, his eyes flicking down and away as his antennae lowered into a posture she hadn’t seen on him before; curled close to his brow in submission. She’d witnessed that positioning before, of course - usually when Thoris was bossing someone around - but never on Shral. Never towards her.  He was behaving as though he expected her to be a lot angrier than she was. The fact that she hadn’t reacted according to his expectations seemed to confuse him.  “I’m not angry. I could have asked then and I didn’t,” Dagmar began slowly, watching Shral carefully as his antennae perked up and he glanced up at her again. The bond seemed to swell with a feeling she struggled to name, but whatever it was it left the impression of disbelief mingled with several other very complicated feelings. It dimmed considerably when she continued, “but I would like to know why you didn’t say anything.”  “Foolishness, mostly,” Shral answered, brutally honest in the quiet of the room, as water dripped and steam curled. “And perhaps a little selfishness.”  That last bit caught Dagmar’s interest. “Selfishness?”  “I knew you didn’t realise what it meant…” A grimace stole over Shral’s features, but he held her gaze and spoke with that same blunt, upfront tone, trailing off abruptly as if he hadn’t figured out how to finish the sentence yet. That alone was unusual. 

For the record, this is not a good behaviour and even Shral recognises that. Dagmar is rightly dismayed by the whole thing. If it had been much more alarming issue being discussed, such as a binding arrangement versus what she flippantly describes as advertising big feelings, she probably would have been justifiably angry about it. The fact that Shral very clearly knows that he was in the wrong both helps his case and hurts it, here. Instead of getting angry, Dagmar takes the time to consider the matter - and her reaction - carefully. This is probably what I love most about Dagmar: she can be reactive under the right circumstances, but she vastly prefers to stop and think things through more often than not. Dagmar tends towards problem-solving over emotional outbursts more often than not, and this conversation is no different.

Instead of choosing the confrontational route, she bypasses it entirely by expressing a gentle, remarkably forgiving sort of disappointment in Shral's choices and proposes an alternate course of action in the future. It's very clear to them both that they need to make an effort to talk more openly at this point.

Not bad! Actually a pretty mature approach to the issue overall! You know, except for the bit where Dagmar conveniently neglects to mention that she's planning on harassing her poor doctor for a basic Andorian sex ed class in a few days, which would explain a lot of her weird behaviours to Shral at that moment.

This is also not ideal behaviour, and in fact rather hypocritical of her. Does Dagmar realise this? No, no she does not.

Shral’s eyes, vividly green and flecked with gold, narrowed shrewdly at her. “Perhaps you should lead by example and elaborate about your experiences with our security checkpoints.” 

Shral, of course, immediately turns the tables of Dagmar using her own words against her, and then we come to The Hair Thing.

Shral is understandably dismayed and displeased to learn that his girlfriend basically let the security officers paw at her hair, which is apparently vastly more important to her culturally than he'd previously been aware of, instead of just asking for him to come vouch for her. Worse, she demeans the value of her customs and culture like it doesn't matter - like she doesn't matter - which is blatantly insulting to both of them, really.

“I see.” Shral sighed, and the bond carried a strange kind of weight across the gap between them. It felt heavy, stifling. “I’d better ask if I’ve overstepped similarly, then.” 

Then there's the dawning horror of realising that he basically did the same thing not an hour ago. Actually, what he did was probably worse. After all, what would Shral know about it? She's as alien to him as he is to her, after all, and if Dagmar says her hair is supposed to be kept up and away from prying eyes for some sort of alien modesty thing, then he's very probably made some kind of horrendous faux pas by yanking on it during sex. Never mind that she pulled his hair, too (and we will discuss Shral's incredibly slutty hair cut some other time) - he's Andorian. It's not the same.

The scene progresses from there, and we learn a little more about the bond as well. By the end of the chapter we get an idea as to how their dynamic has shifted from this single conversation, just a little, to something just a tiny bit stronger than before.

“Are all Humans so adaptable?” Shral wondered with a narrow slash of a smile, shifting in his seat. Dagmar couldn’t imagine he was particularly comfortable on that footstool after so long - it wasn’t exactly designed for comfortable sitting. “Or are you simply determined to surprise me at every turn?”

By the end of the chapter we've learned that Shral is an uptight, emotionally constipated man who dislikes ambiguity in any form and yet also has a very low confidence level where his ability to predict Dagmar is concerned. He thought she'd be angry with him - she wasn't. He thought she'd uncomfortable with the bond and avoid using it - she wasn't and very clearly didn't. Earlier in Chapter 45, he'd most likely expected to be some kind of celibate for months according to some cursory research on her strange, alien customs - she threw that idea out the window immediately. Even in some of their earliest interactions, Shral's simple prediction that Dagmar would dislike vithi on principle, since Humans seemed somewhat averse to especially bitter things, was completely off. At every turn, Shral fails to entirely predict Dagmar. He can make accurate guesses most of the time, but every now and then shejust randomly jukes left when he anticipates her going right, and it's both utterly maddening and terribly interesting.

Whatever else he might feel at the time, Shral is never bored when Dagmar is around.

Alright, that's it! Ramble: completed! Thanks for the ask, anon! <3

[boonsmoon]

Bonjour,

Je voulais savoir si vous étiez d accord de faire une requete d histoire sur Crimson ( ragna crimson): ce serait reader qui travaille avec Crimson et ressens des sentiments pour lui mais celui-ci reste distant pour le moment avant de devenir jaloux a cause du rapprochement de Ragna envers celle ci ( ils sont juste amis eux deux mais voir crimson jaloux est amusant) et décide d avouer ses sentiments a celle ci a sa façon ^^ ( j espère que j ai su bien expliquer ^^) ( en tout cas j ai adorer toutes vos autres histoires)

Translation:

Hello, I wanted to know if you agreed to do a story request on Crimson (ragna crimson): it would be a reader who works with Crimson and has feelings for him but he remains distant for the moment before becoming jealous because of the Ragna's rapprochement towards this one (the two of them are just friends but seeing Crimson jealous is amusing) and decides to confess his feelings to this one in his own way ^^ (I hope I was able to explain well ^^) (in any case I loved all your other stories)

Yes I'll do it! Yes you explained it well and thank you for loving my stories <3 I'm seeing a severe lack of male reader, so I'm doing that

Request Chungus ML Ragna Crimson ML Crimson x m!reader Genres: Oneshot|Fluff|Romantic

Jealousy Of A Magician

You and Crimson haven't been working together long, about a hundred years or so. You were free spirited and often roamed without a goal, no one to guide you. It was doomed to be this way considering you are part of the Bloodline of Claws.

Joining Crimson was done completely on a whim. It gave you time to burn in this world until you found someone capable of killing you.

What you didn't expect was to develop feelings for the dragon. You never acted on them, though. You didn't think your mental or physical health would be able to take the stress of confession. Crimson was also clearly goal oriented and didn't have time for frivolous things like feelings and a relationship.

The magician, however, felt very strongly towards you. But you couldn't know that, no one could. Crimson needs to stay focused on killing the Dragon God, and he doesn't need to start putting effort into making his subjects view you differently.

That all changed when Ragna started begging to join you two. He was strong, that was obvious, and Crimson knew he would make a useful tool.

But Ragna was also perfect for you, not just as an enemy but a partner as well. With his abilities Ragna could easily kill you, but instead he chose to grow stronger with you instead.

You two got along so easily, bonding over the strength you had compared to peers, never having one place to call home, and especially the social anxiety.

Your close friendship with Ragna started to make Crimson angry, it should be him you're spending time with, not some lowly human! Alas, such emotions can't be shown, not if any progress must be made.

The pressure became too much, however, and Crimson caved into the burning feeling in his chest. He had to tell you something, anything to make you dislike Ragna.

So he did, Ragna was out on a 'mission' with Slime when he came to you, "we need to talk about a few things." Your heart raced immediately.

What could you have done to anger Crimson? "Whatever it was, I apologize! Please, please forgive me." You begged the dragon, you can't handle being thrown out of another 'home.'

"I will forgive you once you bother with that irritating human less," he didn't look angry, but it could be heard in his tone. This was what baffled you, though. Crimson was angry...for interacting with Ragna?

"May I ask why..?" You were curious, this wasn't like the magician at all.

Crimson looked irritated at your question, "I don't need you being in a relationship with a pathetic human! If anything it should be me, not him." You could've swore Crimson was about to throw a fit over this.

While you dare not laugh, you had to cover your smile at the reasoning, "Crimson, I see Ragna as more of a son than a lover. But I accept your sentiment."

"You speak not a word of this to anyone," he said, turning around and walking away in hopes you didn't see the red on his face.

this was fun to write!

hope i translated correctly, i used google for it lol

[battyaboutbooksreviews]

🦇 I Was Born for This Book Review 🦇

❝ In an otherwise mediocre existence, we choose to feel passion. ❞

❓ #QOTD What band did you love just a little too much growing up?

[ Find my review below or on Insta | Storygraph | Literal ]

❝ Most adults see teenagers as confused kids who don't understand much, while they're the pillars of knowledge and experience and know exactly what is right at all times. I think the truth is that everyone in the entire world is confused and nobody understands much of anything at all. ❞ 🦇 Alice Oseman's I Was Born for This is an exploration of friendship, self-identity, and the effects of fame. "Angel" Rahimi lives and breathes one thing: The Ark, a boy band of growing, world-renowned fame. Joining The Ark's fandom has given Angel her best friend, Juliet, a community, and a place in the world. Too bad her Muslim family can't understand why The Ark takes up so much space in Angel's boundless heart. The band's frontman, Jimmy Kaga-Ricci, knows The Ark owes their fans everything, but sometimes...they're a bit much. It doesn't help that their more intense fans are shipping Jimmy and his bandmate, Rowan, or that their constant presence is triggering his anxiety. When Angel visits Juliet in London to meet the band for the first time, reality comes crashing down on all of them. Sometimes, fame isn't all it seems.

💜 It's no surprise that Alice Oseman has artistically explored coming-of-age themes through the universal concept of connecting through music. The Ark and resulting fandom give Angel a family and community; a sense of belonging she lacked in high school. At the same time, her position in the fandom has erased her individualism and identity (her real name is Fereshteh, which translates to Angel). As much as she loves the band, she's not IN love with them though. The Boys--Jimmy, Rowan, and Lister--have lost parts of themselves as well. Fans see the versions of them they want to see, and The Boys, knowing they owe their fans everything, smile and play their parts. They don't see Jimmy's debilitating anxiety, the relationship Rowan is trying to hide from the press, or Lister's depression, alcoholism, or bruised bisexual heart.

🦇 This is a deeply character-driven story; a story that's focused on growing up through friendships and found family, NOT romantic entanglements. As always, Oseman excels at creating diverse, nuanced characters, including: 🎵 Jimmy: trans, biracial Indian and Italian, gay, with severe anxiety 🎵 Angel: Iranian, hijabi, Muslim, queer and questioning 🎵 Rowan: biracial, Nigerian, and very protective of Jimmy 🎵 Lister: bisexual struggling with alcoholism and depression

🦇 One of the most important messages in this story is to love yourself first. The Boys get lost in their fame, which leads them to neglect who they are and what they need, while Angel loses herself (and potentially, her future) in the fandom. As a coming-of-age story, it's also a reminder that it's okay NOT to be okay; that recognizing as much doesn't make you weak, but human. However, I do think the final act is a little messy. Since the story is character-driven, the first half drags, while the second half feels like a tangle of ideas and motivations. I think the story would have been stronger if it focused on the three boys; if they gained Angel's perspective through a fan letter instead. There's so much to Rowan and Lister's story we haven't seen yet.

🦇 Recommended to fans of diverse casts, coming-of-age stories, and all things Alice Oseman.

✨ The Vibes ✨ 🎵 Muslim MC / Trans MC 🎶 Dual POV 🎸 Exploring Identity, Friendship, Fame 🎶 Mental Health Rep 🎵 Connection Through Music

🦇 TW: panic attacks, suicidal ideation, alcoholism, assault, suicide attempt