#i love oversharing on the internet

[lanadelreyscokewhor3]

the excitement i get over getting into bed at the end of the day and reading fanfiction in the dark can only be compared to beatlemania

[puplikeanangel]

i finally just came after a week of being too sick and fragile and weak to even think about touching myself and i nearly Screamed, i had to smother my face with a pillow the whole time

[eden-transcendental-youth]

good things!!!!!

so i came out pretty much exactly a year ago and it truly boggles my mind just how much has changed in that time. i barely feel like the same person anymore - it's like he was a bad dream that i've finally woken up from and get to live my life now.

my relationship with my family is worse. but i have friends again, something i barely had a year ago after leaving my old workplace. found family is so amazing and my friends and loved ones mean so much to me. christmas this year showed me that in such a huge way. i have more capacity in me for love than i ever knew or realised, and I'm overjoyed to be able to share the love inside me with the people around me.

it's been a year of healing for me in a lot of ways. not only recovering from and coming to understand the full impact my dysphoria and dissociative issues had on my mental health, and accepting that i have really severe anxiety issues, but also healing in other ways. i no longer work in a place that made me so depressed i basically chainsmoked, i've actively taken steps to improve my screen addiction and entirely removed nicotine from my life. the few times I've smoked a cigarette in the last year i've stopped halfway through and just not been interested anymore? i barely drink alcohol anymore except when i genuinely want to have a drink with friends, and even then i don't feel any kind of compulsion to get blackout drunk like i used to. i've started therapy and started to try and unpack and work through issues i've been repressing and letting fester for years. i've become better at communication and recognising my emotional needs. i've accepted that i'm neurodiverse and now i put a lot of effort into accommodating myself, letting myself stim, trying to unmask more, finding strategies to help me to work through mental blocks and to help me to be productive without getting overwhelmed.

i have a haircare and skincare routine, i've had laser to help with my dysphoria, been officially diagnosed with gender dysphoria and spent over a year now on hormones. i have a much better idea of what clothes i want to wear and suit me. i'm interested in clothes as a means of self-expression now, not just as functional items to cover my body. i got three more tattoos and began to be comfortable enough with my body to take nudes and recognise that i'm fucking sexy as hell. i have a good job, a stable job, and even though i'd realistically like to work less, it's a supportive working environment with accommodating colleagues and a number of other major perks.

i spent so much of 2024 healing. and now i get to live a better life than i ever thought possible even only twelve months ago. i have so much that i want to do that my main problem now is being spread too thin between the things i want to do!

adie and i will be celebrating our 2nd wedding anniversary in april, which is insane. that feels like yesterday and i love them now just as much as then. to be loved is to be changed and the two of us are completely unrecognisable from the two people that first met five years ago and fell so unexpectedly and deeply in love.

i have my first boyfriend (!) and if you haven't noticed, i'm completely head over heels smitten. i'm so excited to see where our relationship goes and how it develops, what things become ours, and who we continue to become as a part of this. we've developed such an amazing emotional connection already and i'm positive that we can only grow from here.

i have new hobbies i love that i do with my friends now. i've tried roller skating, i embroider and mod my clothes, i'm playing music in a band for the first time in eight(!) years, i'm writing again, i still do woodcarving, and i'm cooking as often as i can now we have the new cooker, which has reignited my love for baking bread and cooking all kinds of fun things. more than ever before though, these are social activities for me now. i do things with my friends. and i have more friends than i have in a long time and more emotional space to spend time with them than ever before.

i know who i am better than i ever have in the last twenty three years of my life. my problems still exist, but they're worth fixing now. everything has changed so much and so much of it has been for the better that the bad parts don't affect me anything close to how much they used to. letting myself be the person i want to be, do the things i want to do, and learning about what it is that i want and need has changed me more than anything. i'm finally letting myself eat the nice chocolate, and god, it is delicious. i'm so grateful for the people that have shown me that i deserve to be happy and deserve to make myself happy. i love you all so much.

i love my life, I love my friends, and i'm learning, slowly but surely, to love myself.

[conceptofjoy]

……………. u cannot make this shit up. im deep cleaning the fuck out of my room n i see this laminated elementary school photo wedged behind my bookshelf

[eunchans-world]

[scatterplot-official]

[wybwtjmiads2209]

An Experience of Mine

omg okay so idk if anyone would be interested but I wanted to share my experience of intimacy.

So I had never really done anything like this previously, and the first 'bad' thing I had done was sneak out. I was hanging out with my cousin and she was waiting for her plug to come and she was gonna go hang out with a friend of hers. I am not a fan of smoking so I asked her to drop me off at my boyfriends house (or at least at the time) she was skeptical about it at first but caved in. When i arrived at his house, he has me jump a really tall wooden fence and go through his back door.

Once i was actually in his house, obviously went to his room but it only had a twin bed since his room was made up of the laundry room. we started by making out and getting handsy. I was really nervous since i wasn't even supposed to be there, but to make my times worth I asked him, "can you eat me out?" and without a question, he went to work.

That was my first time ever receiving, and it made me crave more. Except after this was over and I got picked up, things happened between us so he later became my ex.. when does that ever stop anyone? and what made matters worse was that he was also my co worker

some things lead to the next and I find myself texting him to come over. I've had previous experience with sneaking people in so getting him through was no problem. If I am being totally honest, it was a little awkward but he started making out with me. I obviously had him over for a reason so I leaned into the kiss and it got sloppy. His hands start travelling up my shirt ton take it off yet he's pressed against me. I can feel a bulge through his pants on my stomach. (oh, now is a time to mention our height difference. Hes 5'8 and I am 4'11) The room is starting to feel hot.. I take off his shirt and see how perfect his body, I could not help but wonder how the rest looked. I, myself, are fully undressed and since I had a a twin bed (which was really creaky) we did it on the floor. I was so nervous, yet I will admit that this was not my first time. He was my second person. Yet he felt so amazing the whole time. I am not a big fan of making out or even kissing while getting intimate.

I know some people might not believe it but we went for a good 3 hours. I unfortunately did not end up finishing but i was closing, yet he finished first and it would not go back up. Sometimes I still think I did something wrong for his dick not to get hard again but that is okay. After all was said and done, I didn't want to feel used so I asked him to lay with me. Which he seemed happy to. We laid skin to skin for almost 2 hours and in that time, he fell asleep. Younger me would have done anything to go back to that moment but after, he really wanted nothing to do with me so I learned to live with it and move on.

even with everything that went down between us, I was able to learn from mistakes and I got a good experience out of.

SO SORRY GUYS THAT WAS A LOTTTT. HOPE YOU ENJOYED AND EVEN BOTHERED TO READ. if you wanna hear more of my experiences about anything, feel free to message and ask! love you guys <3

(obviously if i have not yet experienced such things then I will simply say so, but i love sharing so i wont hide anything!)

[the-flying-robins]

Headcanoning your faves having the same mental illness as you as a form of therapy is cool actually, you should definitely do it!

[mostlikelyshutup]

tagged by @emily-prentits (listen i know you tagged me two days ago we're not talking about thank youuuuu)

last song: this is how a heart breaks by rob thomas and if i was listening to the rob thomas radio thats no one's business

fav color: green, we know it we love it, we mess with shades and still love every one

last book: i am 40% of the way through 77 shadow street by dean koontz and its so creepy but also very good

last movie: i have no clue but probably something with @horsetailcurlers2 the last one i though about watching was airplane! and the holiday (according to hulu is was monster inside which is a documentary about mckamy manor and i did not finish it bc mckamy manor freaks me the fuck out)

last tv show: once again probably with @horsetailcurlers2 and it was probably our weird 2006 show about a fruity family

sweet/savory/spicy: savory, too much sweet is bad bad bad and spicy i like but i cant handle bc im white

relationship status: single dears

last thing i searched: candle warmer, im looking for christmas gifts

current obsession: planning out gifts for my friends atm, i love being mischievous about bringing joy to my friends

looking forward to: the fact i get out early from work next wednesday

fav drink: rn? water, i love water so much yall, i also just found a bakery near my work with amazing hot chocolate

song playing 24/7: i havent been listening to music at work lately because ive been sitting with my team and dont want to miss what they say lmao, but i heard rob thomas on the train yesterday and have been loving it

current fav character: im back in a teen wolf phase, so my friend my bestie my little guy stiles stilinski is on the top of my mind

fun activity you would like to get into: listen dude i wanna bake and write and make art and im so so tired every single day

last video game: phone games count and it was exominer

last comic/graphic novel: school bus graveyard!!! so so good and i need to catch up, the one i have open on my laptop all the time is https://www.wildelifecomic.com/comic and you can see the trend i have in the media i enjoy

no pressure tagging: (once again jo tagged me two days ago and i havent been on here like at all so if youve done this sorry) @horsetailcurlers2 @crime-wives @knifebucket @coratatum @kidbabygodforsakenmess @secret-mafia-boss @shortangrybisexual @neatloaf and anyone else who wants to! tag me tag me tag me!!!!!

[dieletztepanzerhexe]

Didnt shower before going to sleep and today i woke up a little bit to late to do it before leaving 👍🏻 thats kind of depressed neet behaviour

[cult-of-the-eye]

Fuck it I'm the most character ever: tall for Bangladeshi standards, taller than average for England's, queer, emotionally an orphan but technically have a dad, parent of one younger sister, middle child, has been told multiple times that their bedroom looks like an asylum, has deep seated anger that will one day consume them whole, is a sagittarius

[soobinsonly1bf]

my red flag is having mommy AND daddy kink

[ribcracker]

sooo the teacher that i hate and kinda wished death upon every day for the past 6 months just suffered a horrible accident and had a traumatic brain injury….. im gonna be paying this karmic debt for my next 20 lives yall

[keeksandgigz]

whenever something sexy happens to me i have to physically fistfight with my brain to not disclose it on the internet for the world to see

[sircarrieart]

what are 3 things you’d say shaped you into who you are?

1) the fact that I moved around a lot as a kid. I lived in 5 states and in about 7 houses so I’m really good at packing up and moving but it’s definitely messed with my sense of stability

2) Animal Planet and Natgeo Wild. I love animals and I think those channels had a hand in it. I can name most dog breeds bc of that show dogs 101 lol

3) last but not least, being the youngest. Sometimes I do fall into the stereotype even when I try not to lol

(Here’s the list if you wanna ask me more stuff!)

[itsmiyamore]

Anyway i was about to be like "omg first fic where you're a married couple" bc that's what I was going to do but then the words "married couple" accidentally brought my parents to mind and I had a very strong negative reaction so umm I think I will be avoiding writing post marriage fics for the rest of my career I'm so very sorry guys