#i love oversharing on the internet

[lanadelreyscokewhor3]

the excitement i get over getting into bed at the end of the day and reading fanfiction in the dark can only be compared to beatlemania

[puplikeanangel]

i finally just came after a week of being too sick and fragile and weak to even think about touching myself and i nearly Screamed, i had to smother my face with a pillow the whole time

[eden-transcendental-youth]

good things!!!!!

so i came out pretty much exactly a year ago and it truly boggles my mind just how much has changed in that time. i barely feel like the same person anymore - it's like he was a bad dream that i've finally woken up from and get to live my life now.

my relationship with my family is worse. but i have friends again, something i barely had a year ago after leaving my old workplace. found family is so amazing and my friends and loved ones mean so much to me. christmas this year showed me that in such a huge way. i have more capacity in me for love than i ever knew or realised, and I'm overjoyed to be able to share the love inside me with the people around me.

it's been a year of healing for me in a lot of ways. not only recovering from and coming to understand the full impact my dysphoria and dissociative issues had on my mental health, and accepting that i have really severe anxiety issues, but also healing in other ways. i no longer work in a place that made me so depressed i basically chainsmoked, i've actively taken steps to improve my screen addiction and entirely removed nicotine from my life. the few times I've smoked a cigarette in the last year i've stopped halfway through and just not been interested anymore? i barely drink alcohol anymore except when i genuinely want to have a drink with friends, and even then i don't feel any kind of compulsion to get blackout drunk like i used to. i've started therapy and started to try and unpack and work through issues i've been repressing and letting fester for years. i've become better at communication and recognising my emotional needs. i've accepted that i'm neurodiverse and now i put a lot of effort into accommodating myself, letting myself stim, trying to unmask more, finding strategies to help me to work through mental blocks and to help me to be productive without getting overwhelmed.

i have a haircare and skincare routine, i've had laser to help with my dysphoria, been officially diagnosed with gender dysphoria and spent over a year now on hormones. i have a much better idea of what clothes i want to wear and suit me. i'm interested in clothes as a means of self-expression now, not just as functional items to cover my body. i got three more tattoos and began to be comfortable enough with my body to take nudes and recognise that i'm fucking sexy as hell. i have a good job, a stable job, and even though i'd realistically like to work less, it's a supportive working environment with accommodating colleagues and a number of other major perks.

i spent so much of 2024 healing. and now i get to live a better life than i ever thought possible even only twelve months ago. i have so much that i want to do that my main problem now is being spread too thin between the things i want to do!

adie and i will be celebrating our 2nd wedding anniversary in april, which is insane. that feels like yesterday and i love them now just as much as then. to be loved is to be changed and the two of us are completely unrecognisable from the two people that first met five years ago and fell so unexpectedly and deeply in love.

i have my first boyfriend (!) and if you haven't noticed, i'm completely head over heels smitten. i'm so excited to see where our relationship goes and how it develops, what things become ours, and who we continue to become as a part of this. we've developed such an amazing emotional connection already and i'm positive that we can only grow from here.

i have new hobbies i love that i do with my friends now. i've tried roller skating, i embroider and mod my clothes, i'm playing music in a band for the first time in eight(!) years, i'm writing again, i still do woodcarving, and i'm cooking as often as i can now we have the new cooker, which has reignited my love for baking bread and cooking all kinds of fun things. more than ever before though, these are social activities for me now. i do things with my friends. and i have more friends than i have in a long time and more emotional space to spend time with them than ever before.

i know who i am better than i ever have in the last twenty three years of my life. my problems still exist, but they're worth fixing now. everything has changed so much and so much of it has been for the better that the bad parts don't affect me anything close to how much they used to. letting myself be the person i want to be, do the things i want to do, and learning about what it is that i want and need has changed me more than anything. i'm finally letting myself eat the nice chocolate, and god, it is delicious. i'm so grateful for the people that have shown me that i deserve to be happy and deserve to make myself happy. i love you all so much.

i love my life, I love my friends, and i'm learning, slowly but surely, to love myself.

[conceptofjoy]

……………. u cannot make this shit up. im deep cleaning the fuck out of my room n i see this laminated elementary school photo wedged behind my bookshelf

[eunchans-world]

[elmatashaw]

so like, uh, what do you think people make of you in the fandom? your posts always feels so out of pocket but like, sometimes it feels insulting but not always? idk how to explain it. they're pretty good in a good weird way, being normal is overrated anyways. i can't read you but if that it's the goal, more props to you and your gang.

when i went to the mental hospital the only thing i brought was my el matador poster, no thongs, no clothes, no phone, only el matador

[rapt-re]

i just found the short story that i wrote in english class when i was 15 about biting the jugular vein out of the throat of a kid who bullied me. they made me do 5 weeks of therapy for it (i miss being a teen edgelord with no sense of cringe)

[scatterplot-official]

[the-flying-robins]

Headcanoning your faves having the same mental illness as you as a form of therapy is cool actually, you should definitely do it!

[mostlikelyshutup]

tagged by @emily-prentits (listen i know you tagged me two days ago we're not talking about thank youuuuu)

last song: this is how a heart breaks by rob thomas and if i was listening to the rob thomas radio thats no one's business

fav color: green, we know it we love it, we mess with shades and still love every one

last book: i am 40% of the way through 77 shadow street by dean koontz and its so creepy but also very good

last movie: i have no clue but probably something with @horsetailcurlers2 the last one i though about watching was airplane! and the holiday (according to hulu is was monster inside which is a documentary about mckamy manor and i did not finish it bc mckamy manor freaks me the fuck out)

last tv show: once again probably with @horsetailcurlers2 and it was probably our weird 2006 show about a fruity family

sweet/savory/spicy: savory, too much sweet is bad bad bad and spicy i like but i cant handle bc im white

relationship status: single dears

last thing i searched: candle warmer, im looking for christmas gifts

current obsession: planning out gifts for my friends atm, i love being mischievous about bringing joy to my friends

looking forward to: the fact i get out early from work next wednesday

fav drink: rn? water, i love water so much yall, i also just found a bakery near my work with amazing hot chocolate

song playing 24/7: i havent been listening to music at work lately because ive been sitting with my team and dont want to miss what they say lmao, but i heard rob thomas on the train yesterday and have been loving it

current fav character: im back in a teen wolf phase, so my friend my bestie my little guy stiles stilinski is on the top of my mind

fun activity you would like to get into: listen dude i wanna bake and write and make art and im so so tired every single day

last video game: phone games count and it was exominer

last comic/graphic novel: school bus graveyard!!! so so good and i need to catch up, the one i have open on my laptop all the time is https://www.wildelifecomic.com/comic and you can see the trend i have in the media i enjoy

no pressure tagging: (once again jo tagged me two days ago and i havent been on here like at all so if youve done this sorry) @horsetailcurlers2 @crime-wives @knifebucket @coratatum @kidbabygodforsakenmess @secret-mafia-boss @shortangrybisexual @neatloaf and anyone else who wants to! tag me tag me tag me!!!!!

[cult-of-the-eye]

Fuck it I'm the most character ever: tall for Bangladeshi standards, taller than average for England's, queer, emotionally an orphan but technically have a dad, parent of one younger sister, middle child, has been told multiple times that their bedroom looks like an asylum, has deep seated anger that will one day consume them whole, is a sagittarius

[soobinsonly1bf]

my red flag is having mommy AND daddy kink

[dieletztepanzerhexe]

Sorry for being so obscene and for tmi but im going to master bait once i go back

[ribcracker]

sooo the teacher that i hate and kinda wished death upon every day for the past 6 months just suffered a horrible accident and had a traumatic brain injury….. im gonna be paying this karmic debt for my next 20 lives yall

[keeksandgigz]

whenever something sexy happens to me i have to physically fistfight with my brain to not disclose it on the internet for the world to see

[sircarrieart]

what are 3 things you’d say shaped you into who you are?

1) the fact that I moved around a lot as a kid. I lived in 5 states and in about 7 houses so I’m really good at packing up and moving but it’s definitely messed with my sense of stability

2) Animal Planet and Natgeo Wild. I love animals and I think those channels had a hand in it. I can name most dog breeds bc of that show dogs 101 lol

3) last but not least, being the youngest. Sometimes I do fall into the stereotype even when I try not to lol

(Here’s the list if you wanna ask me more stuff!)