#also i have no resentment toward them i should let yall know

[wawataka]

was reminded of my ex now i’m going through emotional whiplash

[atlafan]

a/n: A couple of weeks ago I saw a post about ex’s to lovers, and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. So basically it’s a story about two people who ended things on a semi-good note, like nothing inherently bad happened between them, but they decided to break up. Sometimes people find their way back to each other, though. That’s what we have here. Harry is a tax attorney, a few years older than our MC, Blair Smith, who teaches jazzercise. (not proofread) PLEASE REBLOG IF YOU READ THIS AND LIKE IT, YALL WANTED ME TO KEEP POSTING FICS ON HERE, SO HERE YOU GO! PLEASE, IT TAKES TWO SECONDS! Check out my patreon for other excursive content.

Warnings: angst, fluff, smut (sub!Harry????), mentions of death, a funeral

Words: 17.8K

Pairing: Harry x OC (Blair Smith)

When Blair Smith became a Physical Education major in college, she never thought that would lead her to leasing a dance studio, and teaching jazzercise. It took her until she was twenty-five to really get it all together. She wasn’t mad about it, she actually enjoyed it more than she thought. She double minored in Dance and in Business Administration, she had never been so thankful to have overloaded herself in her life. She thought she would be teaching gym at the high school level, along with some health and nutrition classes, but when she did her practicum semester at a local high school near her college, she realized that working with younger students was not for her. None of them listened, none of them really wanted to be there, aside from the gym-class-heroes, and she couldn’t stand that the majority wouldn’t even change their clothes for class.

Blair wanted to make her own rules. Luckily, after presenting a well-thought-out business plan to her parents, she was able to get them to co-sign for a loan from the bank to lease a dance studio. She named her studio Just Dance because she offered different types and levels of jazzercise. Some involved use of weights, some involved a little more high intensity, and some involved a little yoga. She was grateful for the couple of marketing classes she took because she was able to really build her brand. She had an Instagram, Facebook Page, and a website. She had an online way to sign up for memberships, and she had daily drop-in prices.

It was easier than she thought to build her clientele. She had a great spot in the city, and there was a small parking lot out back behind the building. Most of her friends from school signed up, and helped her advertise. It was open to men and women, as opposed to a lot of jazzercise places that only offered classes to women. Even though Blair couldn’t afford to hire a second instructor, she was managing things just fine. She offered two early morning sessions, one lunch hour session, and three evening sessions. So, she had plenty of time to relax, stretch, and not over work her muscles. She was strategic about class offerings as well. She gave herself Sundays and Fridays off, since those seemed to be the days with the least amount of people signed up. Monday through Thursday, and Saturday, she made sure to stagger her lessons. For example, Mondays and Wednesdays were weights and yoga infused classes, Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays were the high intensity days. Going into her fourth year doing this, she had it down to a science to say the least.

Business was always really good in January and February, when people were making their New Year’s resolutions, and during the summer months when people were trying to feel better about being in their bathing suits. Blair always preached positivity and inner health as the most important things. It was an inclusive space, which is exactly what she wanted it to be.

She liked working for herself. If she needed to run errands between classes, she could. If she wanted to take a nap in the middle of the day, she could. She didn’t have to answer to a single person. Her parents would sometimes ask questions, but mostly just to make sure Blair was making her loan payments on time. She had automatic withdrawals set up with the bank, so she didn’t even need to think about it. Yup, Blair had just about everything figured out, and she knew she was very lucky for that.

//

“Don’t worry, Mrs. Sullivan, we’ll get everything figured out for your son. Yes, he’s in very good hands with me. Alright, have a nice evening.” Harry hangs up his phone and sighs, rubbing at his temples to soothe the oncoming headache he could feel. It was another complicated trust fund case, but that was the job.

The Law Office of Styles and Associates was a tax attorney office. Harry specialized in cases that dealt with trusts, gifts, and various tax planning structures to reduce the burdens of income taxes and estate taxes, and he assisted in devising investment strategies. His undergraduate degree was in accounting, and he minored in pre-law. After that, he went to law school for three years and passed the bar. His father had been a tax attorney as well. Harry liked living the comfortable life he was able to live growing up thanks to his father, and he wanted the same for himself. Plus, he just enjoyed crunching numbers for people, so it was a win-win. Making nearly $150K a year wasn’t too shabby either.

“Hey, H, you ready to go?” John comes into Harry’s office.

“Yeah, just finished up for the day.” Harry stands up, puts his suit jacket back on, grabs his brief case, and heads out. “Kate, feel free to head home, I’m done for the day.” He tells his secretary on his way out.

“Thank you, Mr. Styles, have a nice weekend.” She smiles at him.

“Same to you.” He nods and keeps walking with John. “I feel terrible, she’s pregnant, you know? Her feet are the size of melons by the end of the day.”

“When’s her maternity leave start?” John asks as they enter the elevator.

“Not for a while, she’s only seven months along. She’s been trying to train some college intern to take her place while she’s gone, but no one’s as good as Kate.” Harry rolls her eyes. “Oh well, I’m happy for her. Her and husband have been trying to get pregnant for a while.”

Harry and John make their way to a bar downtown, one of their usual Friday evening spots. They usually met up with some of their other law-school buddies. It was also a great way to blow off steam from the week. Sometimes Harry would end up pulling a 60-hour week, so he thought he deserved to cut loose, and have a little fun with his friends. Maybe meet a pretty girl he could take back to her place and have a whole different kind of fun with her. Harry was a phenomenal attorney, but when it came to his personal life, well, if you looked up the definition of a playboy, his picture would be there. He fucked around, a lot, without a second thought. Actually, his only thought was to make sure he always had a condom. Harry never went bare back. The last thing he needed was someone claiming he was the father of their child, and suing him for child support. The only time he didn’t use a condom was when he was in a legitimate relationship a couple of years back.

He thought about her from time to time. He never met another girl like her, and there were times he really did miss her. The breakup wasn’t anything dramatic, the pair had just grown apart. Harry was in the process of taking over the practice for his father, and she…wasn’t quite ready to settle down. She wanted to work on her own career and make a name for herself. It hurt that she didn’t see him in her vision for the future, but he understood where she was coming from. She was a few years younger than him, and he didn’t want her to resent him for taking away her time to be young and have fun. So they ended it. Since her, he decided to have some fun himself with his friends.

//

Blair got the call right before her second morning class on Wednesday morning. She nearly collapsed on the floor in tears. Everyone rushed over to her. She had to cancel everything for the rest of the week, and her clients were more than understanding.

“How did it happen?” She asks her mother, Pam.

“He had a stroke, and…god, he just didn’t bounce back.” Pam uses a hankie to wipe her tears. “Most of everything should be all set, he was very specific, but…we’re going to need an attorney. Your father’s biggest fear is that his first wife would claim that she has a right to his pension, that she was promised money or something.”

“God, I hate her.” Blair grimaces. “All she’s ever cared about is making him miserable. She just wants money for her son. He’s not even Dad’s!”

“That’s why they got divorced! She cheated on him with his best friend and got knocked up. You can see how sticky this is going to get. I hate to ask, but…”

“I’ll go see him.” Blair sighs.

“I just think he might sympathize, maybe work the case pro bono. I’m not sure we could afford him otherwise.”

“Don’t worry about it, Mum, I’ll talk to him and figure it out. I’m not going to let Lora fuck everything up for you.”

//

Kate nearly choked on her water when she saw Blair walking towards her. She knew Harry had a meeting with a B. Smith. She should have known better.

“B-Blair, hi.” Kate says.

“Kate! Oh my goodness, you look incredible! You and Roger finally-“

“Yeah! I’m due in a couple more months.”

“That’s amazing, I’m so happy for you.” Blair smiles. “Um, I think I set up a meeting through an intern?”

“Yes.” Kate sighs. “I’m training her for when I go on maternity leave. Um, may I ask why you’re here to see Harry?”

“It’s strictly business. My…my father recently passed, and-“

“I’m so sorry.” Kate frowns. “He was always so nice.”

“Yeah, he was a good guy. Anyways, there’s a lot going on with his will and a trust he set up for my mom. Harry’s the only person I could think of when my mom said we’d need an attorney.”

“Of course.” Kate nods. “I’ll let him know you’re here.” Kate knocks on Harry’s door and opens it. “Mr. Styles?”

“Yes?”

“Your 2PM is here.”

“Ah, great.” Harry squints at his screen to check his calendar. “B. Smith? Why does that sound familiar?” He puckers his lips in thought.

“Um…it’s Blair.”

“Blair!” Harry stands up and bangs his knee in the process. “Why didn’t you tell me she was coming?!”

“I didn’t know! Maura answered when she called to set up the appointment.”

“Fuck.” Harry runs a hand through his hair. “How do I look? Is there anything in my teeth?”

“No, you’re fine. Just relax, I’m going to send her in.” Kate leaves his office and smiles at Blair. “He’s ready for you.”

“Thank you, Kate. We should catch up before the baby comes.”

“I’d like that. I miss going to your classes.”

Blair nods and goes into Harry’s office, closing the door behind her.

“Hi, Harry.”

“Hi.” He walks over to her, leaving about a foot of space between them. “To what do I owe the pleasure of seeing you?” Her bottom lip trembles, and his smile fades. “What’s wrong?” He asks softly.

“M…my Dad died.” She says, tears rolling down her cheeks.

“Oh, sweetheart.” He pulls her in for a hug so he can comfort her. “When’s the funeral? You know you could have just called me, you didn’t have to be so formal.”

“Actually, I did.” She sniffles and steps back from him. “I need an attorney, my mom and I do…only…we can’t really afford a good one.”

“Oh.” Harry nods. “Have a seat.” He gestures, and rounds his desk to sit back down in his own seat. “Is this about his ex-wife?”

“Unfortunately.” Blair rolls her eyes, and grabs a tissue off his desk. “My mom is scared she’s going to pull some fake paternity crap with her son, even though everyone knows he’s not my Dad’s. I think my mom just wants to be prepared for the inevitable shit storm Lora’s going to bring.”

“I don’t blame her.” Harry sighs and leans back in his chair. “I…haven’t taken a pro bono case yet this year. I could help that way.”

“Only if you really want to. I’m not asking for a handout, but I don’t trust anyone else to take care of me.” Blair blinks when she realizes what she’s said. “Us, I don’t trust anyone else to take care of us.”

“Right.” He leans forward. “I’d be happy to do it. Um, does your mom want to meet with me, or-“

“I think she’s sort of hoping I’ll take care of all the legal stuff. She’s grieving, you know?”

“So are you.” He frowns.

“You know me, I like to keep busy during these sorts of things. I can get a copy of the will, and the trust information over to you via email if that works, and then we can go from there?”

“Sure, yeah. My email’s still the same, um, and so is my phone number…”

“I still have your phone number.” She rolls her eyes.

“Then why didn’t you call me about this first? Why call and make an appointment?”

“I…I thought if I called…you’d think I was calling for something else.” She blushes. “I wanted you to know it was strictly business.”

“Blair, all you had to say was that your dad died. I could have been there for you. You live alone, all you do is work…your best friend is my cousin…do you and Riley even still talk?”

“Of course we do! Just because we broke up doesn’t mean that she and I did. I met you because of her, I was her friend first. It would be really shitty to stop talking to her because it didn’t work out with you.”

“Okay, Christ, calm down.” He shakes his head. “You’re as hot headed as ever, you know that?”

“I’m sorry, my father just died and I’m trying to keep it together!” Her eyes rim with tears again. “He’s never going to be able to walk down the aisle when I get married, he’s never going to meet his grandchildren, there are so many things…he was too young.” She sniffles.

“How did it happen?”

“He had a stroke, and didn’t recover.” She looks away.

“I’m so sorry.”

“I appreciate that, but that’s not going to being him back, so don’t be sorry. Just…help me with this.”

“I will, there’s no question about it.”

“Thank you, Harry.” She stands up. “I’ll email you.”

“Blair.” Harry stands up. “Look, if you need anything else, don’t be afraid to ask. If you need a friend…I’m here for you.”

“I have plenty of friends.” She sighs. “And no offense, but my friends don’t fuck a ton of women weekend after weekend and treat them like shit.” She smirks.

“I don’t do that.” His face flushes. “I just haven’t met someone I’ve really wanted to continue seeing, that’s all.”

“Harry.” Blair shakes her head as she chuckles. “Not that I ask, but Riley’s told me a few things. You two are close, and when she gets drunk she loves regaling me of your many escapades.”

“I’ll have to send her a very strongly worded text after you leave.” He rolls his eyes.

“Don’t get mad at her, it’s fine. I don’t really care.”

“You don’t?”

“No, why would I? It’s not me you’re fucking, so it doesn’t concern me.” She shrugs. “That’s the beauty of breaking up, Har, I don’t give a shit where you stick your dick at night.”

“Well, obviously you do if you won’t even let me be a friend to you, Blair.”

“I just…I don’t want us getting close again, alright? It’ll hurt when we end up parting way, and I don’t wanna go through that while also grieving my Dad. Can you understand that?”

“Yeah.” He nods. “Don’t worry, we’ll get this all sorted out.” He smiles at her.

“Thank you. I need to go. I told my mom I’d be over to help her pack some things up. She sort of just wants to rip the band aid and put his clothes away.”

“If you need any help at all with any heavy lifting, call me.”

“Harry.” Blair sighs.

“I’ve got that nice SUV, I can help move stuff, that’s all I’m saying.”

“I’ll keep that in mind. I’ll talk to you soon.” She says, and out the door she goes. Kate waits a moment before coming into Harry’s office.

“Scotch?” Kate asks.

“Scotch.” Harry nods, and Kate goes over to his credenza to take out his good crystal and liquor to pour him a small glass.

“You’ll get through this.” She lifts her water bottle to cheers with him, and he downs the brown liquid.

//

Blair was back at work the following week. She needed the distraction. Lora had been eerily quiet. Maybe she didn’t know that Blair’s father passed, but as soon as the obituary hit the papers, she was sure that witch would be out and about to cause some trouble. At the end of Blair’s last Thursday class, she heard the sound of dress shoes on the hard wood. She turns to see Harry.

“You know there’s not supposed to be outside shoes in here. I just mopped.” She puts her hands on her hips and huffs at him.

“Yeah, I’m well aware of the rules. I used to be your best customer, remember?” He smirks. “Anyways, I looked over all the documents, I thought you might like to go over everything with me before the funeral, in case she shows up to cause trouble, you’ll have all the facts.”

“I need to, like, go home and shower…today was an intensive day, I’m soaked.”

“Perfect, I’ve got dinner in the car. We can go there, eat, and go over the documents.” He smiles.

“You’re such a weasel.” She chuckles. “But I’m too tired to argue with you. What did you pick up to eat?” She raises an eyebrow at him.

“Nothing special.” He shrugs. “Just some dumpling curry from that Thai place we both like.”

“I take it back you’re not a weasel, you’re the devil.”

Harry drives over to Blair’s apartment. He didn’t have a key anymore so he had to wait for her. He follows her up to her apartment, and makes himself at home while she goes to take a shower. She hadn’t changed much, but he definitely noticed some different pictures on her bookshelves. They used to be littered with framed photos of them, and she had a ton of scrapbooks for the two of them, but those seemed to be missing now as well. He sighs while he plates up the food for the both of them, and opens up a bottle of wine while he waits. Blair comes out about ten minutes later with her hair wrapped up in a towel, and her long, plush, pink robe around her body. She sits down next to him at the island.

“Wine?” She questions, but picks up the glass to take a sip.

“It’s been a long day, to be honest with you. I’m gonna work from home to catch up on some sleep tomorrow since I don’t have any meetings.”

“You know I have Fridays off, we could have done this tomorrow.” She frowns.

“It’s okay, I figured you’d want everything now. The funeral’s Saturday, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, it is.”

“Eat up, and then we can look at everything.”

“We can do both at the same time.”

“Does your nose still run like a leaky faucet when you eat spicy food?” He smirks, and she rolls her eyes. “That’s what I thought.”

“Thank you for picking this up.” She says as she takes a bite. “I haven’t had this in forever.”

“Me neither…I stopped going because I didn’t want to run into you there.”

“That’s why I stopped going. We should have divided up restaurants when we broke up.” She laughs, and takes another sip of wine. “Do you mind if I dry my hair when we’re done eating? I’ll get a-“

“You’ll get a headache if you don’t, I know the drill.” He takes a sip of his own wine, and eats a spoonful of rice.

“Stop remembering things about me.” She swats a hand at him.

“We were together for long enough, Blair, I can’t help it.”

“Yeah, well, quit throwing it in my face, okay? We’re not doing this to go for a stroll down memory lane.”

Harry knew he’d be waiting at least twenty minutes while Blair dried her hair. He walks around her living room, stretching his legs a bit. He was curious to see what she had filled her bookshelves with. There was a picture of her and Riley from their freshman year of college. Harry picks it up and smiles. Harry was in his first year of law-school when Riley and Blair were college freshmen. He didn’t meet Blair formally until their senior year, and he was in his first year working at his father’s firm. He was helping Riley move in after winter break, and Blair had already been there.

“Blair!” Riley exclaimed. “I missed you so much.” She threw her arms around her.

“I missed you too! I’m glad we both agreed to come back a week early.”

“Same here. This is my cousin, Harry. Harry, this is Blair.”

“It’s nice to meet you.” Harry shook Blair’s hand.

“It’s nice to meet you too.” Her mouth had run dry. They held eye contact for a beat too long. “You’re in law school, right?”

“I finished last year, I’m actually working now. I’m a tax attorney.” He explains. “It’s my dad’s business.”

“And it’s super boring.” Riley rolled her eyes. “Har, could you bring everything in for me? I have a meeting with my advisor that I need to get to. We’re going over my practicum stuff.”

“Sure thing. We’re still getting dinner later, right?”

“Mhm, I shouldn’t be too long. Blair, you don’t mind if Harry hangs here for a bit, do you? You’re also welcome to come to dinner with us.”

“Sure, I don’t have a problem with it.” She shrugged.

“You’re the best. See you in a little while!”

“Is there a lot of stuff? I can help.” Blair said to Harry.

“Not a lot, no. But…I’ve never been here before, so if you could just show me upstairs, that would be great.”

“Yeah.” She nodded.

Harry brought Riley’s suitcase in, and Blair led him upstairs. She showed him Riley’s room.

“Is yours similar?” He asked.

“My room? Um, no…it’s a little different.” She swallowed. “Do you wanna see?”

“I’d love to.” He grinned, and followed her down the hall to her room. “Riley’s told me a lot about you over the years, but she failed to mention how insanely gorgeous you are.” He leaned against her wall after she closed her door.

“Well, she failed to mention how hot her cousin is, but I suppose that would be a weird thing to say about a family member.” She smirked. “How old are you, exactly?’

“I’m about to turn twenty-six, what about you?”

“I’m almost twenty-two…in May.”

“Not a huge age difference.” He walked towards her.

“Not at all.” She looked up at him with big eyes.

“Want me to kiss you?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, all done.” Blair says, coming out with her all dry and pretty. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing, just saw this old picture of you and Riley.”

“God, we were babies then.” Blair smiles at the photo. “We took that on the day we met at orientation.” She looks at him. “Wanna sit on the couch?”

“Sure.” Harry grabs his briefcase and takes out all of the documents he needed to go over with Blair. “So, as you can see, your father set up a trust for you that you’ll get access to a year after his passing. That’s pretty standard. Your mother has a different sum of money that she’ll be able to access much sooner. There’s absolutely nothing in his will about Lora or her son. Even if she tries to contest it, there’s nothing in here that would indicate he was hiding anything. I looked over their divorce settlement as well, she stopped getting alimony when she remarried. She literally has no case. You and your mum can take a breather.”

“Oh, what a relief! Thank you, Harry. She’ll be able to let herself relax for the first time in a while.”

“Are you going to take any more time off from work?”

“Well, I’m closed Saturday, and I’m off Sunday, and I’m closed Monday as well. Then I’ll be back to it Tuesday.”

“You’re only giving yourself a long weekend?” He frowns.

“Harry, I can’t afford to keep closing. I make enough with the memberships, but I won’t be making the extra I do from the walk-ins.”

“Look, if you need some money-“

“Don’t you dare.” She stands up. “I don’t want your money, Harry, I never have, and I never will. I’m not your goddamn sugar baby!”

“I never said you were!” He says, standing up.

“But you used to make me feel like that all the time! You were always paying for every little thing. You never let me pay for a single thing. It was like you had zero confidence in me, even though I was running a successful business!”

“You were just starting out! All I wanted to do was help you, make it a little easier for you. You’re the one that went to their parents for loan help when I would have done it in a heartbeat! You crushed me.”

“We weren’t even living together, and you were ready to drop that amount of money on me?! That would have been so weird!”

“We were both working odd hours, and we had only been together a few months at that point, moving in would have been weird! A loan is totally different, I would have been investing in something great.”

“Well, I didn’t need your investment! We were together for nearly three years, Harry, what’s your excuse for not living together after all that time, hm?”

“I would have felt guilty. I was never home, I didn’t want you waiting up for me. It was easier when I could just come here and crawl into bed with you after a long day. And you always had to get up so much earlier than me. I thought…I thought it was better that we weren’t living together. You had never lived alone before, I wanted you to enjoy the freedom.”

“Was that it, or did you just want to keep your own?” She huffs, crossing her arms. “You know what, this fight is useless, it doesn’t matter because it’s not going to solve a single fucking thing. Thank you for your help, I really do appreciate it, but now that I know everything’s fine, you can go. If I need anything else from you down the line, I’ll reach out. I’m sure Lora will make a stink, and therefore I’ll need an attorney. But it’s all professional, Harry.”

“You’ve made that plenty clear already, thanks.” Harry packs up his things, and Blair walks him to the door. They look at each other. He just sighs and heads out the door.

Blair would be lying if she said that she didn’t miss Harry. They had a really special bond that was hard to find with just any one. All they did that first day they met was kiss, have a passionate make out, but that was it. Blair didn’t want to go too far with him in case Riley wasn’t comfortable with it. But Riley was overjoyed when Harry asked if she would mind if he asked Blair out on a date. It was a whirlwind from there.

He took her on some of the nicest dates she had ever been on. Most guys would take her out for coffee, maybe a movie if they could scrape the money together, but Harry took Blair out to nice restaurants, and to the movies that had lux levels. Not to mention his condo, god, she loved his condo. He liked that she kept things simple. Crockpot dinners at her place, watching TV curled up in her little full-sized bed, and clipping coupons together on Sunday mornings. That was where they had sex for the first time, in her little bed after their fifth date. He told her he loved her for the first time on the top of a Farris Wheel during the spring carnival her campus held, and she wasted no time saying it back. After that, a deeper trust formed between the two of them. One that not a lot of people would understand. Harry didn’t quite understand it himself since he was usually the one who was a little more dominant in bed, but with Blair…well, needless to say after a long week of working cases, his favorite thing was to come home, find her in his bedroom with some lingerie on, and letting her tie him to the bed posts for a little while. It was a release he didn’t even really know he needed. And with her, having been a college student about ready to graduate and enter the real world, it felt like so many things were out of control. Harry gave her that control back.

Harry wonders if that’s why they breakup seemed so much harder on him than her. It seemed like Blair was able to let go so easily. Yes, he started fucking around afterwards, but he just couldn’t get that same high from anyone else, nor did he trust some random girl at a bar to do the things for him that Blair once did. Blair was just better at hiding her emotions. She missed Harry, she’s missed him for a long time now. She cried for weeks, feeling this undeniable ache in her heart without him around. But, she had her studio to throw herself into, a brand to keep building. It was the perfect distraction, and even though she missed Harry, she didn’t hate being single for the first time in a while. For three years, Harry had been like her security blanket. The way she looked at it, every kid eventually stops sleeping with their security blanket at some point. It was time to be independent.  

//

The funeral was a graveside service. It was cloudy, but there wasn’t rain, which was probably the only upside Blair could think of. She was there, sitting next to her mother, other family members in the row behind them. Her mother was holding Blair’s hand, but this is one the few times Blair wished someone was there for her. Just as the service was about to get started, someone sat down next to her. She looks to her right and sees Harry, dressed in black from head to toe. He doesn’t say anything, he just puts his arm around her, and rubs his shoulder. He gives Blair’s mom a soft smile before sitting back in his seat.

“Harry…you weren’t supposed to come until afterwards…” Blair says.

“I know.” He looks at her. “I just wanted to be here for you.”

Harry gave Blair his extra tissues while she cried during the service. He held her the entire time, and stayed back once it was over. Then, he offered to drive Blair and Pam back to Pam’s home. Neither of them were in any condition to drive. There were a lot of people that came back to the house afterwards. Blair was able to calm down a bit, but her mother was really taking it hard.

“We don’t have to do this today.” Harry says to Blair.

“No, we should just rip the band aid. Then she can just…” Blair’s eyes widen when she sees Lora walk through the door. “Oh, you miserable cunt.” She says.

“What?” Harry asks, confused.

“Not you, Lora’s here.” Blair storms over to her. “What are you doing here?”

“Nice to see you too.” Lora smiles. “I’m here to grieve the loss of my first husband.”

“You weren’t at the funeral.”

“I didn’t want to upset anyone.” Lora shrugs. “So…have you read the will yet? I think I should be in on that.”

“Lora.” Pam says when she walks over. “Alright, let’s get this over with.” Pam sighs, and has everyone follow her down the hall to the guest bedroom. Harry takes out the paperwork.

“There’s been-“ He starts, but he’s cut off.

“I’m sorry, but how is it legal if her boyfriend is reading the will?” Lora asks.

“We’re not together anymore. We haven’t been for a while. He’s here as our attorney, that’s it.” Blair says.

“Anyways, been a trust set up for Blair a little down the road. Everything else, including the house, has been left to Pamela Smith. There is no mention of anyone else’s name.”

“That can’t be right.” Lora scoffs. “I was promised-“

“He would have never left you anything.” Pam says. “And I’m sick of dealing with you. He’s gone, he’s left you nothing, you have no ties to us now. It’s clear as day that Derek is not his. He owed you absolutely nothing, you gold digging bitch.” Pam steps closer to Lora. “Now, get out of my house before I have you removed. I buried my husband today, I am in no mood to be fucked with.”

“Fine.” Lora says, turns on her heel and leaves.

“Way to go, Mum.” Blair gives her a high five. “I thought she’d put up more of a fight than that.”

“With your father maybe, but not with me. I’ve ripped her cheap extensions out more than once, and she knows I’ll do it again.” She takes take a deep breath. “I think I’m about ready to be done for the day. I need to lay down.”

“Do you want me to stay tonight?” Blair asks her.

“No, honey, thank you. Auntie Fay is staying, I’ll be alright.” She looks at Harry. “Harry, I can’t thank you enough for helping with all of this.”

“Don’t mention it. If there’s anything else I can do, anything at all, don’t be afraid to ask.”

“Drive Blair home.”

“Mum.”

Pam raises her hands in defense and leaves the room.

“I can drive you back if you want. I took an uber out here as it was.” Harry says, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“You’ve done enough for me today, it’s alright…I can make it back on my own. Riley’s flying back in from Chicago tomorrow and we’re gonna have a girl’s day, so-“

“Blair, I still have your keys in my pocket, I’m driving you.”

“I don’t need you to swoop in here and act like superman, Harry.” Her bottom lip trembles. “I know my dad’s not around to do it anymore, but-“

“Hey.” He takes her in his arms. “I wish I could take it all away, I really do. I wish you weren’t going through all of this, baby.”

“Harry.” She sighs heavily into his chest.

“Sorry.” He rests his chin on the top of her head. “Some habits are hard to break I guess.”

“Have you called anyone else baby in the last year?” She nuzzles in close to him.

“No.” He tilts her chin up to look at him. “I never could.”

“Okay, you can drive me home.” She sighs. “I’m about ready to pass out as it is.”

Blair takes a few minutes to say goodbye to the people still at the house before her and Harry get into her car. He keeps the music volume low, and her eyes start to droop. Harry can’t help but feel soft and warm knowing she was so easily able to fall asleep with him there still. She’d always fall asleep on long car rides.

“Blair.” Harry says, trying to wake her up. “We’re at your place, love.” She groans at him, and he sighs. “Are you really going to make me carry you up?” She groans again and he rolls his eyes. Blair would always pretend to be asleep so Harry would carry her inside. He unbuckles her, gets out, and opens her door to lift her out. “You’re killing me.” He grunts as he carries her to the front door. He keys in, and carries her up the stairs to her door. “I know you’re awake.” He says as he brings her to her bedroom.

“Mm, but you’re so strong and warm.” She mumbles.

“Okay.” He chuckles and lays her on her bed. “Are your pj’s still in the third drawer of your dresser.”

“Harry.” She sits up. “You don’t have to do all that…”

“I was just gonna grab you a shirt and get out of your hair.” He says innocently.

“God, I’m so confused.” She pinches the bridge of her nose.

“About what?” He grabs a bed shirt for her, and sits on the edge of her bed.

“I think I’m just feeling vulnerable, I don’t know.” She looks away from him. “I don’t want you to go.” She mutters, and then looks at him. “But I also don’t want to get your hopes up.”

“If you need me to stay as a friend, I can do that.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’d never leave you like this.” He runs a hand through his hair. “I was just gonna pretend to leave, and then crash on your couch.”

“Well, you don’t have to do that. Got a queen sized bed now, plenty of room.”

“I can see that.” He smiles. “There was nothing wrong with your old bed. It was kinda fun when we were practically sleeping on top of each other.”

“Yeah, but your bed was better for…well…never mind.” She clears her throat. “Um, I still have some of your old pajama pants in my drawer, you can wear those if you want.”

“I’m good with just boxers if that’s alright with you.”

“Oh, um sure.” She gets off the bed to stand up. “I’m just gonna go wash up and change.”

Harry nods and gets undressed. He goes over to her bathroom door to wait his turn. Blair’s eyes widen when she sees him standing there in his underwear.

“You don’t have a spare toothbrush, do you?”

“Um, you can use one of the extra heads I have for my electric brush.”

“Thanks.” He steps into the bathroom as she leaves to go back to her bedroom.

“Oh my god.” She says to herself. He had beefed up a bit. Harry was already sort of beefy, but he used to be leaner. Had he been getting a lot of protein? She shakes her head as she crawls into bed. Harry comes in shortly after and gets in on the other side. She turns her head to look at him. “Thank you, Harry.”

“You don’t have to thank me.” He looks at her. “I’d be a pretty shitty person to leave you in a time like this.”

“Yeah, but you could be catching tail at some bar with your friends.” She smirks at him.

“You make me sound like I’m promiscuous or something.” He chuckles and turns fully on his side towards her. She does the same. “It’s a stress reliever, and I always wrap it up. M’not doing anything wrong.”

“Do you, um, do what we used to do with any of these hookups?”

“No.” He smirks. “No, I don’t think I could ever trust someone in that way again even if I tried.” He chews his bottom lip. “What about you?”

“Harry, to be honest with you…I haven’t slept with anyone since we broke up.”

“Blair, that was a year ago.”

“I’m well aware.” She rolls her eyes.

“That’s a long fucking dry spell.”

“It’s not a dry spell, it’s a personal choice. I threw myself into the studio, I worked on choreographing a ton of new dances. I was building my brand, bringing in more clientele. Plus…anytime I’d use a dating app or go out with Riley to a bar…no one was ever you.”

“I know things seemed mutual and we didn’t end in some big blow up…but I was so hurt that we couldn’t make things work.” He reaches to tuck some hair behind her ear. “I thought we were going to be together forever.”

“So did I…but I don’t know if I was ready for something so long-term yet, which I know sounds stupid because three years is a long time to be with someone.”

“It’s not stupid. I would have felt the same at that age. It was sort of selfish of me to try to lock you down the way I was.”

“You weren’t being selfish for wanting to be with me, Harry.”

“You know, the last thing I expected when I helped Riley move in that semester was falling in love with her roommate. You just looked so cute that day.”

“You remember how I looked when we first met?”

“How could I forget? You were wearing these sweater leggings that had snow flakes on them, and you were wearing this oversized sweater that was hanging off your shoulder, and you kept trying to tug it back on. You seemed so flustered around me.”

“I was.” She laughs. “I thought for sure you just wanted to fuck me and then leave with the way you pushed me up against the wall when you kissed me.”

“Yeah, you nearly shit yourself at dinner afterwards. Poor Riley had no idea I frenched you for a solid thirty minutes.”

“My lips were so swollen, she had to have known. I was more in shock when you came by a week later to ask me out. God, you were so cute, you were waiting outside my apartment with hot apple cider, and I had such a shit day at my practicum. I was in dingy sweats too, and you still told me I looked beautiful.”

“And I meant it.”

“Then you said I looked tired, and right before I went off on you, you pulled me inside and said that you were going to make me dinner so I could go upstairs and take a long hot shower.”

“Mhm, made you spaghetti and meatballs.”

“And that really yummy homemade garlic bread.” She smiles.

“Then we cuddled up and watched Ratatouille.” He chuckles.

“I was so mad that you had never seen it! And then you ended up loving it.”

“It’s a great movie, honestly.” He says, smiling at her. “Best first date ever.”

“Yeah, it was. When I went to sleep that night I couldn’t believe that a real man wanted to be with me. I don’t think any of the guys I dated in college knew how to cook.”

“Pretty sure I did a good job making you forget about any other guy you had ever been with.” He smirks, and she nudges his shoulder.

“Maybe…maybe when I’m in a better mindset…we could talk about…I mean…I’ve been thinking about you a lot ever since we started talking again, sorry, I’m rambling.” She sighs. “I don’t want you to think that I wanna give things another shot because you’ve been helping me and my mom, but it’s been hard not to think about it…especially after today.” She blinks away a few tears. “I wasn’t expecting you to come to the service. Riley felt awful that she couldn’t be there, and I felt so alone, even being with my mom. You’re so selfless.” She pouts at him.

“I would love to talk about potentially getting back together. I…I don’t think I realized how much I missed you until you walked into my office. I thought I was out having the time of my life, but I wasn’t. Nobody could ever compare to you.”

“I think I just need some time to make sure I’m not…I’m not just feeling this way because you’re being so sweet to me when no one else is.”

“Take all the time you need.” He strokes her cheek. “M’gonna turn over now. If you just so happen to feel like spooning me, I promise not to question it.”

“Please, snuggling sounds like the perfect medicine after today. Assume the position, Styles.”

He chuckles and rolls onto his other side. Blair slots a leg between his, and wraps her arm around his stomach. They both sigh, and wiggle closer to one another. Blair hadn’t felt peace like this in quite some time, and neither had Harry.

//

Blair woke up in a fog the next morning. Her eyes still felt puffy and swollen from crying, and even though the clock read 10AM, she felt like she could stay in bed for at least two more hours. She remembers Harry staying and falling asleep with her, but he wasn’t there next to her now. Where he laid was still warm, so he couldn’t have left too long ago. When she smells coffee, she wakes up a bit more. There was a coffee cup from Dunkin’ on her side table, along with a small bag that she knew had to be a coffee cake muffin. She sits up and sees a note next to the casual breakfast.

Had to rush off to the office this morning. Got a call that one of my major clients passed, and his family is already fighting over the money. Had to time to run out and get you brekkie though! I’ll call you later. – H

Blair pouts at the note, and takes a sip of her coffee, which had cooled down just enough for her to sip it without burning her tongue. She texts Harry a quick “thank you” before diving into her muffin. This was his signature “sorry for not being there when you wake up” breakfast treat. There had been many mornings Blair had woken up alone after spending the night with him. It wasn’t because Harry liked scooting out, he just usually got pulled away due to something work related, and he knew that Blair liked being able to sleep in when she could on the weekends, especially when she was still in school. She never minded because she knew he was busy. She used to just lounge around for an hour or so in his large bed before getting up and making it. Then she’d take an indulgent bath in his Jacuzzi-tub. He’d usually get back to her sometime in the afternoon, and they would snuggle up to watch a movie before he brought her back to her apartment. It worked for them.

There were plenty of times Blair had to scoot early as well. When she was doing her practicum, she needed to be at the high school no later than 7AM, which sucked because at the time she was a major night owl. It’s taken her years of discipline to get herself to fall asleep at a reasonable time so she wouldn’t be so groggy and grumpy in the morning. That was something that Harry helped with as well. He told her about this sleepy time playlist on Spotify that he would listen to on the nights he needed to go to bed early. Blair had told him she couldn’t afford the premium membership and she didn’t want to be jolted awake by ads. So what did Harry do? He bought the subscription plan that allowed for two people to be on it, helped her shift her account, and even though she protested, he insisted. The music sounded like something a masseuse would put on, and it always put her right to sleep. Harry was a genius, at least Blair thought so.

“How do you always have an answer for everything?” She had cried to him on a particularly stressful evening. It was after she graduated, and she had just gotten her business up and running. She felt overwhelmed and scared. “You always stay so calm, it’s like you don’t even care!”

“I just know that this’ll pass, baby. You just graduated from college, you’re going through a major life change. You’ve had the same routine all your life, and now it’s completely different. In a few months things won’t feel as scary.” He smiled at her, and wrapped his arms around her mid-section. “Went through the same thing myself not too long ago. I promise, it gets a lot better. Your early twenties fucking suck.”

“Yeah? How are things looking in the world of mid to late twenties?” She pouted up at him.

“Well,” he moved some hair away from her face, “I’ve got an incredible girlfriend who loves me, and I just so happen to love her, and I’m feeling settled in mt job, and I have a great place to live, and oh! Finally stopped having stress dreams about missing a big exam. Can’t complain too much.”

“I…I’m gonna be really busy at the studio. I have to choreograph all these dances, and start advertising, and-“

“Hey, I’ve got an idea.” He tugged her along down the hall to his home office.

“Harry, I’m not in the mood to fuck in your office…” She said, and Harry chuckled.

“As much as I love it when you let me bend you over my desk, that’s not what this is about.” He took her inside and took out a few sheets of blank paper and some pens. He sat down and pulled her into her lap. “Alright, this used to help me all the time when I was super stressed, still does, actually.” She watched as he drew three large circles, and wrote CHOREOGRAPHY in one, SOCIAL MEDIA, in another, and BUDGET

in the last. “Alright, so these are some rather large cookies, wouldn’t you say?” He looked up at her, and she looked down at him and nodded. “Okay, so what are some ways we can take little bites out of these?”

“Like a checklist for each?”

“Sort of, yeah.” He drew a few stems from each circle. “Almost like a backwards flow chart.”

“Is this what you do with your clients when they ask for financial advice?”

“Sometimes.” He nodded. “But more importantly, I want to help my girlfriend who is insanely frazzled. I hate when people try to be problem solvers…so hope you don’t think that’s what I’m trying to do…”

“No.” She shook her head. “This is great. I think if I have it all laid out in front of me…and can check certain things off…take smaller bites, like you said, I can handle things better.” She grabbed a pen and started writing, and making more stems, color coding a few of them. “My parents are gonna help cover the loan payments for the first year so I can save up, and start paying off my student loans.” She chewed her bottom lip. “And I can set aside some time in the mornings to do the social media stuff, and use the afternoons for choreography…evenings I can work on my website.”

“Just think of how sweet it’ll all taste by the time you finish.” He smiled up at her, and she leaned in to peck his lips.

“I love you, Harry, thank you.”

“I love you too, baby.” He kissed her again, ever so tenderly and soft. “Don’t let this stuff build up, you know you can talk to me about anything.”

“I just feel like my problems are so trivial, like, there are people that are starving, and I’m crying about being overwhelmed.”

“Your feelings are valid, don’t compare it to what someone else might be going through.”

“Do you think, um, could you just hold me for a bit?” It was so rare for Blair to be this vulnerable. Usually she was the one to hold Harry, but once in a while she just really needed him.

“Of course.” He shifted in his seat to cradle her to his chest. He was so warm and inviting, he always made Blair feel safe.

Blair sighs, and shakes herself from the memory. She couldn’t bask in the good times and act as if there weren’t also bad times. Although…there really weren’t that many bad times. She finishes up her muffin and gets out of bed. She grimaced when she saw herself in her bathroom mirror, and decided a long, hot shower would do her some good. She didn’t have the energy to wash her hair, so she grabs a scrunchie to put it up in a bun on the top of her head. As the warm water cascades over her body, she can’t help but continue to let her mind wander to other old memories.

“Harry! I told you I’d be five minutes.” Blair whispered to Harry as he entered the bathroom. He locked the door behind him and smirked. “Riley’s home! Just down the hall sleeping.” Harry pulled back the shower door, and walked into it with her. All he did was put a finger up to his lips.

“Then we’ll need to be quiet.” He whispered to her, ghosting his lips over hers.

“I…I’ve never had sex in the shower before. I always heard it wasn’t as cracked up as it looks in the movies.”

“That’s because people try too hard to do it full on.” He stepped into the water, getting his hair wet, and then moves her so she’s pressed up against the wall. He knelt in front of her, and looked up at her wet body. “Can I make you feel good, baby?”

“Y-yes.”

He grinned, and lifted one of her legs over his shoulder.

“Now, you need to stay quiet.” He pressed his lips to one of her hip bones, and kissed across her pelvis. “So, if it gets to be too much, just suck on your fingers or something, pull my hair, whatever you need to do.” She watched as his eyes darkened when he licked over her clit. His tongue moved to her slit and licked up. He moaned, letting his eyes flutter closed before looking back up at her. “You have no idea how fucking good you taste.”

“Blair!” Riley exclaims as she comes into the apartment. Blair’s taken from her thoughts just as she was whimpering out Harry’s name.

“I’m in the shower!” Blair yells back, and finishes cleaning herself up. She meets Riley out in the living room once she’s thrown some sweats on. “Hi.”

“Oh, god, I’m so sorry I couldn’t be there.” Riley wraps her arms around her friend.

“You couldn’t have known.” Blair hugs her back. “A month in Chicago, I can’t wait to hear all about it.” They let go of each other.

“Are you sure you wanna talk about all that?”

“Yeah, I need the distraction.”

“Alright. I brought coffee and doughnuts.” Riley smiles.

“Thank you, but I might save that for later. I had coffee and a muffin earlier…um, Harry spent the night last night.” Blair blushes as they both move to sit on the couch.

“Holy shit! Pleas don’t tell me you called him for a booty call.” Riley frowns.

“No, it was nothing like that. I told you he was helping with all of the legal stuff…he ended up coming to the funeral unannounced. He was there for me…he drove me home and I asked him to stay. We just slept, and he was gone before I woke up because of a work thing.”

“Ah, and he brought you the old comfort breakfast to make up for it.” Riley shakes her head. “Well, I’m glad he was there for you. I always hoped you would become friends at some point after you broke up.”

“I don’t think I realized how much I missed him. I’ve been so independent for the last year, it felt kind of nice to lean on him for a change.”

“Do you think you wanna get back together?”

“I don’t know…I was definitely feeling something yesterday, even this morning, but I don’t know if it’s because I’m just sad and vulnerable, or if it’s because I really wanna give it a second go. I don’t really know what would be different this time. He still works crazy hours, and-“

“He’s dialed back a lot.” Riley cuts him off. “Ever since he’s taken over, and once he really got settled into it, he hasn’t been working himself to the bone like he was. Are there still some sixty-hour weeks? Sometimes, but not like he was, I swear.”

“He didn’t seem to think we still spoke…so that made me think you weren’t as close with him…”

“I don’t hang out with him as much…I speak with his friend John quite a bit, though.” Riley blushes.

“Speak to or fuck?” Blair smirks.

“Don’t. If Harry knew I was messing around with one of his boys, god, I don’t even wanna think about it.”

“Oh, so he can go out with your friend, but you can’t go out with his?”

“John and I aren’t going out. We just…meet up to fuck sometimes, but we both still hookup with other people. I mean, I’m sure he slept with his share of people while I was away.”

“Did you?”

“There were a couple of people I let take me back to my hotel, yeah.” Riley nods. “Don’t say anything to Harry, okay?”

“Christ, I’m not his best friend all of a sudden. I think I was just emotional last night. I doubt we’ll even-“

There’s a jingle of keys, and then Harry’s entering the apartment. He freezes when he sees Riley.

“Hey! You’re back.” He smiles at his cousin. “How was Chicago?”

“Windy.” Riley says. “But fun, I made a ton of sales.”

“That’s great.” Harry sets the keys on the kitchen counter and then comes further into the living area. “How are you this morning?” He asks Blair.

“I’m okay, um, thanks for breakfast.”

“Yeah, of course, sorry I had to skip out. Uh, I just came back to see how you were, but I can see your girl’s day has started, so I’ll head out.”

“You can stay, Har, we were just gonna paint our nails, nothing you haven’t done with us before.” Riley says. “You don’t mind, right, Blair?”

“S-sure, you can stay, Harry…if you want to.”

“I’d love to stay.” He comes over and sits down on Blair’s other side. “Nothing like giving you a Styles sandwich to make you feel better.” He smirks. “Alright, Riles, what colors did you bring?”

The three ended up having a great day together. It felt like old times. They painted their nails, ordered Chinese, and watched Mystic Pizza. Riley was starting to get tired, so she left around six. The jet lag was catching up with her. So it was just Harry and Blair sitting on the couch watching Wall-E.

“Do you remember the first time we watched this?” Harry asks her a few minutes in.

“Mhm.” Blair smiles without looking at him. “It was that weekend we went away Hampton Beach, and it rained in the evening, so instead of being annoyed, we got all cozy and watched this.”

“After…” He looks at her, a smirk growing on his face.

“Harry.” She rolls her eyes.

“Come on, what did we do just before settling in to watch this adorable film?”

Blair sighs, but gives in, “We made hot fudge sundaes, and, um, I let you lay me on the counter and lick chocolate sauce and whipped cream off my body.” She swallows. “Then I did the same to you. We made a mess of the Air BnB.”

“We cleaned it up. Then we got into that big, comfy bed and just vegged out. Think this is one of my favorite Pixar films that you showed me.”

“You really liked Cars too.” Blair chuckles.

“Yeah, I did. That was a good one.” Harry leans back on the couch, crossing his arms behind his head.

“You don’t need to do this, you know?”

“Do what, love?” He says without looking at her, eyes focused on the screen.

“Babysit me.” She mutters.

“S’not what I’m doing.” He scoffs. “I’m enjoying spending time with you, Blair.” He looks at her. “And I’m worried about you, but I’m not babysitting you.” He puts his hand on her knee and gives it a squeeze before taking it away. “Just relax, yeah?”

“Thanks.” She pauses for a moment. “Harry…would you be taking care of me like this if you had a new girlfriend?” Her eyes start to well up with tears. “Because-“

“Why are you asking a what if like that?” He reaches to wipe her tears with his thumbs. “At the risk of sounding totally lame…I was sort of just waiting on you. Sort of hoping you’d wanna get back together at some point. I tried dating, but it’s like I told you…no one was ever you.”

“So you just kept fucking strangers?” She was so confused.

“It was all meaningless. I figured if you were out there living your life, then I should do the same.” He shrugs.

“Harry, I know you think we broke up because you thought I needed time to be young or whatever, but I wasn’t out there fucking a ton of different people. I just…I don’t know, I wanted to be on my own.”

“And I understood that, as much as it upset me. What was I going to do, beg you to stay my girlfriend?” He moves a bit closer to her. “If we were to get back together, what would you want to be different? Obviously things stopped working…”

“It’s not that they stopped working, I just…I think I just grew up a little bit. You gave me plenty of room for it, but I just sort of realized that there were other things I wanted to do and I didn’t wanna be totally tied down. If we were to get back together, I wouldn’t want you paying for things all the time, or thinking you need to fix all of my problems. Sometimes I just want someone to listen without making suggestions, you know?”

“I didn’t even realize I was doing that.” He runs a hand through his hair and sighs. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, I know you always meant well, and you were just trying to help in your own way.” She gives him a reassuring smile. “It didn’t always bother me, but sometimes it did. I wasn’t perfect either, I know how closed off I could get.” She furrows her brows. “I’ve been trying to work on that. I added the yoga into my routines…so that’s been helping. You sort of inspired that.”

“I should start my membership back up.”

“Yeah…it would be nice to see you in class again.”

“Remember when I started coming on Tuesday evenings, and then we’d go to the Thai place for dinner afterwards?”

“Mhm, and then you’d take us back to your place, and set up a bath for us.” She sighs dreamily. “And then you’d massage my calves for me, ugh, I always loved that.”

“Couldn’t have my baby being sore the next morning, could I?” He pouts playfully at her, and she giggles.

“You were always so good to me.” Her face was only a few inches from his now.

“Fucking worshiped you.” His lips ghost over hers, and she whimpers.

“Kiss me, Harry.”

His lips slot over hers immediately, and cups her cheeks to pull her even closer. He sucks on her bottom lip, and she whimpers again. Blair tugs on Harry’s shirt, and then pushes his back to the couch. She moves to straddle him, and he wraps his arms around her body. They’re both grabbing at different parts of one another, and she shifts so she’s only straddling one of his thighs, rolling her hips down onto it. Harry groans, and starts kissing on her neck. She gets a fist full of his hair, and yanks his head back.

“Harry, I don’t think this is a good idea.” She admits. “I mean…we haven’t agreed to anything. I think we should take this slow, don’t you?”

“You just told me to kiss you, and then you climbed into my lap.” He smirks, and she starts laughing.

“Yeah.” She grips his chin with her other hand. “You’re always good at doing exactly what I say.”

“Always.” He agrees. “If you’re not planning on having your way with me then you should get off. You’re only gonna rile me up, and I’ve not done anything to deserve that.”

“No, I suppose you deserve a reward instead of a punishment.” She presses her forehead to his and lets her hands fall to his shoulders. She sighs heavily and then looks at him again. “I need a little more time. I wanna make sure that this really makes sense. The last thing I wanna do is hurt you again.”

“I don’t want you to feel hurt either.” He squeezes her hips. “I wanna give you the time, Blair, but you’ve also had a year to sort your feelings. You either wanna do this or you don’t.”

“I really hate it when you’re right.” She huffs. “But I know what you’re saying.”

“How about this…why don’t we go out Saturday night? We could go on a date, and see how it feels.”

“Why not Friday?”

“Because you work early on Saturday mornings, darling, and you’re just going to be getting back to it again.” He tucks some hair behind her hear. “Can’t have you being sleepy.”

“You’re so sweet.” She smiles. “Okay, yeah, I’d like that. Um, did you want to just go out for dinner?”

“If that’s what you wanna do, baby. I’m down for whatever.”

“I haven’t been to that grill we used to go to all the time in forever. Feel like I could go for a really good burger.”

“Alright, we’ll go to Benson’s. I’ll pick you up around six, how’s that sound?”

“I think it sounds like a date.”

//

On Wednesday evening, much to Blair’s surprise, Harry walked into one of her evening classes with Riley. Riley had a cheeky smile on her face, and Blair just shook her head at the two of them. It had been ages since Harry had been to one of her classes, and he had picked a yoga day.

“Good evening, everyone!” Blair says once everyone gets there. “We’re gonna start off with our warm up, and then get in to it. We’ll work a little with the weights, and then we’ll cool down with the yoga like always. Does everyone have their weights?” She hears a collective yes. “Alright!” She hops up onto the small stage and gets the music playing.

When the class is over, a few people hang back to talk to Blair. Riley would usually grab a quick bite with her after class. A guy was talking to her now.

“Hey, who is that?” Harry asks Riley as they clean up their stations.

“Hm? Oh, that’s Rich, he has a thing for Blair.” Riley rolls her eyes. “He refuses to take a hint. The second he found out she was single he was all over her. She’s nice to him, but she doesn’t like him back.”

Harry narrows his eyes, and reads Blair’s body language like a book. Her arms were crossed, and she was casually trying to step away from Rich.

“I’ll get him to leave her alone.” Harry says.

“Harry, don’t.” Riley grabs his wrist. “She can handle herself.”

“I know she can, but she looks so uncomfortable. What if they were left alone here, and he tried something. He needs to know she has some backup.” Harry walks over to the two, and Blair can’t help but smirk because she knows exactly why Harry’s walking over. “Hey, sorry to interrupt, but we should get going if we want to make trivia night.”

“Right! Yeah, sorry, Rich, I need to get the studio cleaned up so I can head out.” Blair was thankful. Harry was always good at coming up with excuses for them to leave places early. Usually it was because he needed to get her home so she could fuck him, obviously now that wasn’t the case.

“Oh…alright, well, I’ll see you next week. Have a good night.” Rich looks Harry up and down before leaving.

“Thank you.” Blair sighs. “He’s a nice guy, but I’m not interested.”

“Obviously.” Harry scoffs. “Have fun with Riley.”

“You don’t wanna come with?”

“Nah, I need to get home. I have some stuff I need to do before tomorrow. Still on for Saturday?”

“Mhm.” She nods with a smile.

“Good.” He kisses her cheek. “I’ll call you Friday.”

Harry leaves and Riley helps Blair cleanup before they head out to a Panera for dinner.

“So, you two are going out on Saturday?” Riley asks her when they sit down with their food.

“Yeah, it’s sort of like a first date. I wanna make sure things feel really right with us. I have a feeling we’ll get back together officially, though.”

“Yeah? What makes you think that?” Riley smirks.

“Well…we kissed on Sunday night when he was still over. It was a really good kiss too, it was familiar, but there was still that, like, passion, you know?”

“I would love it if you got back together. I never really liked the other people he dated, and I was so excited when you both got together. He’s like the brother I never had, and I want him with someone that really cares about him. I never doubted that with you. You guys got together at a weird time in your life where you were sort of at different places. Now…well, now you might mesh better. You grew up a lot during the time you were together, I know that was tough on you both.”

“Yeah, it was.” Blair sighs, and bites into her piece of bread. “I feel like I could handle things better now. He’s been there for me during so many tough times, he’s seen me…at my absolute worst, and still loved me through all of it. I can’t wrap my head around him turning into such a playboy.”

“I couldn’t believe it myself, but I honestly don’t think he really knew how to deal with not having you around, and then…I don’t know.” Riley shakes her head. “He always wrapped it up, that’s what John told me, anyways.”

“He mentioned that to me too.” Blair rolls her eyes. “I’m not going to hold anything against him, we weren’t together. I don’t have the right to judge him about it.”

“He only wanted you, B.” Riley smiles.

“I really have missed him.” Blair smiles. “I’m really looking forward to going out with him Saturday night.” She bites her bottom lip. “Wanna come with me to Victoria’s Secret during the day? I think I should pick out something new…”

“Yeah! I’ve got a coupon to go there, actually. I need some new undies.”

“Oh, yay! We haven’t been shopping in forever.”

“I know! I hope I’m not on the road for an entire month like that again. It got old real quick.”

//

On Friday, Harry was in his office wrapping some things up, going over some paperwork. Then he looked over his calendar for Monday, just to see what meetings he had, and if he needed to do anything over the weekend.

“Mr. Styles?” Kiley, the intern training with Kate comes into his office.

“Miss Stewart, what can I do you for?” He asks, giving her his full attention. She pouts slightly at him.

“You can just call me Kiley…you call Kate by her first name.”

“I’ve known Kate for quite some time, Miss Stewart.”

“Well, we’ll get to know each other pretty well once she’s on maternity…right?”

“Most likely.” He nods. “Did you need something?”

“Yes, sorry.” She pulls a paper out of her bag. “Um, I just need you to sign off on the hours I worked this week since Kate left early. I forgot to ask her before she stepped out for her doctor’s appointment.”

“Oh, sure.” He gestures for the paper. “They’re really on you guys about the hours, huh?”

“Yeah.” She sighs. “I don’t mind, though, because I have to write a paper explaining what I did, so having an account of that will be helpful.” She shrugs. Harry hums his response as he signs the paper and hands it back to her. “Thank you…any fun plans for the weekend?”

“Just laying low tonight. I’ve got a date tomorrow, though.” He smiles.

“Oh! That’s nice.” She smiles. “Did you just meet someone?”

“No.” He shakes his head with a chuckle. “Might be starting over with my ex, which I’m pretty excited about since I’m still hopelessly in love with her.”

“Well in that case, I hope it goes super well.” She beams at him.

“Thank you, Kiley.” Her smile widens at him even more. “Feel free to head out, enjoy your weekend.”

“Thank you, Mr. Styles. I expect a full report of your date on Monday morning.”

Harry chuckles and nods as she leaves. Just when he thought his door was going to close, John enters.

“Wrap it buddy boy, we gotta meet the guys soon.”

“About that…I’m going to skip out on tonight.”

“Seriously? Why?” John frowns.

“I…I have a date tomorrow night with Blair, and-“

“You can’t be serious.” John rolls his eyes and sits down. “Why would you even entertain the idea of getting back together with her?”

“Because she seems ready for a relationship again. I still love her, and I think she still loves me. There’s still a chemistry between us, physically, so we’re going to Benson’s for a burger tomorrow to see if everything else is still there.”

“So that means you can’t come out for guy’s night?”

“You know as well as I do that guy’s night never stays guy’s night. I don’t want to be tempted by anything that could fuck me over. Besides, it wouldn’t kill me to stay in for a change. There’s a book I’ve been meaning to get back to. I wouldn’t mind just taking it easy, you guys have a good time without me.” Harry smiles at his friend. “It’s nothing personal…”

“I know.” John sighs. “You’re just fun, that’s all…” John looks down at his phone and smirks.

“Maybe you’ll meet up with that girl you see on the regular. Seems like she just texted you.”

“Maybe she did.” John nods.

“How come you don’t just date her? I’ve watched you turn down other girls to go meet up with her a dozen times.”

“It’s a little complicated. She travels a lot for work, we’re both just looking for someone familiar to hookup with right now.”

“Guess that makes sense.” Harry shrugs. “You’re pretty busy yourself”

“Exactly, so when’s around I see her more, and when she’s gone, I see other people. She does the same. We’re pretty open about it.”

“Good.” Harry smiles. “Have a beer for me tonight, yeah?”

“Alright.” John sighs and stands up. “Have fun with Blair, I guess.”

“You could sound a little more enthused.”

“I’ll be enthused if she doesn’t string you along.”

“She never strung me along.” Harry shakes his head. “We were a great team.”

“Seems like you were always doing everything for her.”

“No, she did plenty for me.”

“Babe?! I picked up a pizza!” Blair shouted as she entered Harry’s place, putting her key in the bowl by the door. “Baby?!” He wasn’t in the kitchen like she thought he’d be. She set the pizza down on the counter and walked down the hall to his home office. Her jaw dropped when she saw him knuckling at his eyes. “Harry, are you crying?” She asked softly.

“Blair.” He said, almost surprised. “Hi, I lost track of time, I’m sorry. Let’s eat.” He stood up, but she went over to him and urged him to sit.

“What happened, what’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing, baby.”

“It’s not nothing if you’re crying. Talk to me.”

“I’m just really stressed.” His voice cracked. “I was looking forward to taking over for my dad, but there’s so much other shit that’s been added to my plate that he didn’t really prepare me for. Now he’s down in Florida living it up with my mum, and I can’t even talk to him about it because I don’t want him to be disappointed in me. He’s trusting me with everything.”

“That’s a lot.” She wipes=d his tears away. “I’m so sorry you’re feeling like this.” She chewed on her bottom lip. “Is…is there anything I can do to help? Anything I can do to help take your mind off things for a bit? I brought pizza…”

“Um…yeah, I think there is something you could do for me, but it doesn’t involve food.” He stood and took her hand, leading her out to the living room. They both sat down. “Sometimes when we’re having sex…I let you take the lead, have you noticed that?”

“A little.” She shrugged. “I mean, I like that you’re not super dominating, it makes me feel safe.”

“Right, but before you I wasn’t really like that. I was always in control, but with you…I feel really safe too. So safe…that I’m able to just let everything else slip away when we’re doing what we do.”

“What are you saying exactly?”

“I…I sometimes I think I want you to really be in control. I’m not saying all the time, but I have to be in control of so many things, and I think it would be nice to not.”

“Okay, so I could ride you more if you want.”

“Well, that would be nice.” He smirked. “But I’m talking more like…like maybe you could blindfold me once in a while, or you could cuff me to the bed?” His was flushed with embarrassment. Her eyes widened as she finally started to understand what he was trying to say. “I’ve totally freaked you out, haven’t I? I know that stuff isn’t for everyone. I was just thinking we’ve been together a while now-“

“Harry, calm down.” She smiled, squeezing his hand. “I think it’s kind of hot that you wanna explore some different things.”

“You do?”

“Mhm.” She nodded. “I…just don’t ask me to, like, whip you or anything. I don’t think I could hurt you.”

“No, I’m not looking for pain.” He chuckled. “I just…wanna clear my head sometimes, that’s all.”

“Okay, I think I could be into that. You know how much I love all your ties, I’d love to tie you up with them.” She grinned, and he groaned softly.

“What do you say we leave the pizza for later, and we head into the bedroom to explore a little bit?”

“I say we’re in for a fantastic weekend.”

“Whatever you say man.” John says. “See you Monday.” John leaves Harry’s office, and Harry sighs. He never told anyone about what he and Blair did, it was no one’s business. He certainly wasn’t going to let it slip now.

//

At around 10AM Saturday morning, Blair picked up Riley so they could go shopping. Riley had bags under her eyes, and a fresh hickey on her neck. Blair’s mouth fell open the second Riley got in the car.

“Don’t.” Riley mumbles.

“I didn’t say anything.” Blair chuckles.

“But I know what you’re thinking.”

“Did you meet up with John last night?”

“Yeah, I guess Harry didn’t feel like going out last night, so I met up with him at some bar, and then he came back with me to my place.”

“Oh shit, is still there?”

“No, he left at, like, seven.” Riley rolls her eyes. “But not before he fucked me again.” She shakes her head. “We’ve fucked so many times, I don’t know how he’s not sick of me yet, or how I’m not sick of him.”

“Maybe it’s a sign you two should be more.” Blair smirks.

“I mean, we’re basically just in an open relationship, that’s the way I look at it anyways.” She shrugs. “We were up most of the night.” She yawns loudly.

“You could have stayed home.” Blair frowns as she keeps her eyes on the road.

“No, it’s okay, I wanted to go shopping with you.”

The girls make their way to a Victoria’s Secret, and start shopping around. Just as Riley hoped, there was an underwear sale. Blair indulged in it as well. Nothing wrong with getting some new undies to replace some old ones.

“Oh, these are cute!” Blair says, holding up a cheeky pair of panties.

“Yeah! I’ve been way more into the lace cheeky bottoms instead of thongs lately.”

“Me too! It’s way more comfortable. To be honest, I wear boxers a lot around my apartment. They’re more breathable than athletic shorts, and they don’t ride up.”

“Of course men have more comfortable underwear than us.” Riley sighs heavily. “Oh! Look at these white ones! Can never have too many white pairs.”

“Snag me a pair, please.”

Once the girls are done picking out their underwear, and a couple of bras that were two $50 (yes, way overpriced, but necessary), they head to the part of the store where the lingerie was.

“What are you looking for exactly?” Riley asks as she looks over some babydoll nighties.

“I don’t know, nothing crazy, but if things go well tonight, which I think they will, I wanna surprise him with something fun.”

“You’d really jump into bed with him right away?” There was no judgement in Riley’s voice, more so surprise.

“I mean…I know he’s your cousin and all, but he’s pretty hard to resist, Riles. He had me wrapped around his finger from the second we met.”

“Fair enough.” Riley shrugs. “I might try one of these on…surprise John one of these nights.”

The girls giggle as they pick out different things. Blair ends up finding a black lace bralette and matching panties that she thinks will work well under an outfit. The only thing was the bralette didn’t have any support, like, at all, but she was able to adjust the straps on it a bit to give her a slight lift.

“God, I wish I danced as a kid.” Blair huffs as she leaves the dressing room to meet Riley out at the register line.

“Why?”

“Because then maybe I wouldn’t have these fucking honkers on my chest. I’d love to be able to wear a bralette without worrying. My boobs are so saggy, I look like a granny when I don’t have the proper support.”

“You’re being dramatic.” Riley chuckles.

“Easy for you to say, Miss B Cup.”

“Hey, I’d kill to have boobs like yours. I always feel like mine are too small. I have to wear pushups all the time. Besides, your boobs are not saggy, they just sit a little lower on your chest.”

“When I really started dancing I thought they’d get smaller since I was working out all the time, but nope. The worst part is, it’s all right here.” She lifts her arm slightly and rubs just under her armpit. “I’m only a C, but I feel like a double D sometimes when I put a bra on, it takes all the side boob to the front.” Blair puts her things up on the counter, and Riley goes to the next register.

“Find everything okay?” The girl behind the register asks.

“Mhm.” Blair smiles. “I have some coupons too.” She takes her phone out so the girl can scan the barcodes on Blair’s screen.

“Oh, that’s a good one! Took off 25% of your total.” The girl puts everything into a bag for Blair, and she heads out with Riley.

“So, when will John get to see that babydoll?” Blair smirks at Riley.

“When I feel like he deserves it.” Riley grins. “If he invites me over tonight, I might bring it with me.”

“Do you usually see him two nights in a row?”

“Sometimes, but not often. I think he missed me a little since I was gone for so long. Kinda missed him too. He told me he’d call me later today.” She shrugs.

The girls grab a quick lunch before heading home. Blair didn’t want to eat anything too heavy since she was going to be eating out for dinner, so she just had a salad. She spent some time doing some social media work for her business, and then spent some time putting a new dance together. Her customers had been asking for some more throwbacks, so she was crafting some choreography to a couple of Ricky Martin songs. They could be used for the high intensity days. She always recorded herself so she could go back later to review the steps.

When she was done she was drenched in sweat, so she hops into the shower to freshen up. She sort of ends up pampering herself a bit. She shaved her legs, so she massaged some lotion into them, and used some cocoa butter on her thighs because she liked the way it smelled. After that, she grabbed her electric razor to trip her bikini line, having exfoliated first in the shower, so she was plenty smooth where she wanted to be. She spritzes some perfume into the air and walks through it, then she gets to work on her hair. She had been sporting a shoulder length look lately. Her hair used to be really long in college, but in recent years she had been keeping it a tad shorter. It was up in a braid or bun most days, but she decides to wear it down tonight. She puts on some makeup, and then goes through her closet to find something to wear over her new lingerie. She decides on a pair of black jeans that could easily be word with some booties. She pulls on a blush pink tank top and a tan cardigan to complete the look. You could just see the lace top of the bralette, and she sort of liked that look. Her phone goes off just as she’s putting some lipstick on.

“Hello?” She answers brightly.

“Hey, baby, I’m downstairs.”

“Okay, be down in a sec!” She throws some makeup remover wipes into her bag, and a spare toothbrush, then she heads out. Again, she didn’t quite know what would happen tonight, but she wanted to be prepared. Harry was standing outside his car. He smiles when he sees her.

“Hi.” He says, and opens the car door for her.

“Hi, thanks.” She smiles back and gets inside. They head towards Benson’s, being silent in the car at first. “How was your week?” She asks him.

“Good, had a pretty good workout Wednesday.” He grins, looking at her for a moment before looking back at the road. It makes Blair giggle. “Work wasn’t too stressful for a change, although I’m getting anxious about Kate going on maternity leave.”

“Is the intern no good?”

“No, she just doesn’t have a lot of experience. She’ll get the hang of it.” He shrugs. “How was your week, how are you feeling?”

“I’m okay. I spoke with my mom last night, she’s doing alright. My aunt’s been staying with her, so that’s good.”

“Do you think she’ll sell the house?”

“Nah, she likes where she lives, but I think she’s going to paint and change a few things so it doesn’t feel like such a ghost town, you know?”

“Makes sense.” Harry nods. “I know I’ve offered a ton, but if she needs any help with anything, don’t be afraid to ask. I can hold my own with a paintbrush.”

“Thank you, Harry, that’s very sweet.” She gives his shoulder a squeeze. “It was really nice having you in class Wednesday.” She says shyly.

“Yeah? Would you be opposed if I started coming regularly again?”

“Not at all, I’d really like it, actually.” She smiles. “It…it made it easier to wait to see you tonight.” She blushes, and he reaches for one of her hands. He brings it to his lips to kiss her knuckles.

“You’re cute.” He tells her, resting their hands on the console, not letting go at all.

They get to Benson’s, and get seated in a booth. Harry hesitates for a moment, desperately wanting to sit next to her, but he thinks that might be too much too soon, so he sits across from her. She gives him a funny look.

“What?” He asks.

“Nothing…you’re just far away. You usually sit next to me.”

“I didn’t know if you wanted me to.”

“I want you to.” Harry smiles, stands back up, and slides in next to her. She hooks her arms around his and rests her cheek on his shoulder. “Much better.” She sighs. He kisses the top of her head, and a waitress comes over.

“Evening, folks, are you expecting anyone else?” She asks.

“No, love, it’s just us.” Harry says to her, squinting at her nametag. “Becky, is it?”

“Y-yes.” She clears her throat. “Can I get you started with any drinks or appetizers?”

“Definitely two waters.” Blair begins. “And I’ll have a vodka-tonic, please.”

“I’ll have the same.” Harry says. “Do you want an app?” He asks Blair.

“No, I think just the burger will be good.”

“Right, think we’re ready to order dinner.” Harry says to Becky.

“Great! What can I get you?”

“I’ll have the turkey burger with cheddar cheese and sautéed mushrooms.” Blair says.

“And I’ll have veggie burger with avocado.” Harry says.

“Sounds good, I’ll be right back with your drinks.” Becky says, taking their menus before walking away.

“Just a veggie burger?” Blair asks Harry.

“Yeah, I’ve been craving a good one lately, and they make the best here.”

“Very true.” She nods. Becky comes back over with the drinks, and sets them on the table. “So…do anything fun last night?”

“I stayed in.” Harry says, before taking a sip of his drink. “Got caught up on a book I’ve been reading, watched a little TV, nothing special.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t go out with your friends. Isn’t Friday usually your guy’s night?”

“Yeah, I just felt like skipping last night.” He shrugs. “What about you, what did you do?”

“I ran errands all day, and then went to bed early so I could get up for my early classes this morning. Then Riley and I went shopping, and then I did some work at my place. Got ready to go out with you.” She shrugs.

“What does Riley have to say about all this?”

“She’s happy that we’re entertaining the idea of getting back together.” Blair chuckles and sips her drink. “Did you tell anyone we were going out tonight?”

“Mentioned it to my intern…and to John. He wasn’t so enthused.” Harry rolls his eyes.

“He’s never liked me, and I literally have no idea why.”

“Think he was just jealous that I snagged someone as gorgeous and bright as you.” Harry grins. “You know, when we first got together a ton of people gave me shit because you were still in school.”

“I was in my last semester, and I was twenty-one, it wasn’t like I was a child.” Blair scoffs.

“That’s what I said! It wasn’t like I was looking for someone younger than me, it just happened.”

“We just clicked right away, nothing wrong with that.” She inches a little closer to him, her ankle hooking around his under the table.

“Not at all.” His lips graze over hers, but their food is brought over to the table before they can really kiss.

They both giggle and dig into their food, each moaning out at the taste. They continue to talk about things, catching each other on the last year that they weren’t in one another’s lives. It felt easy and natural.

“I don’t wanna be too forward, but would you like to come back to mine when we’re done?” Harry asks.

“I’d like that.” She nods. “Got any sweets at home?”

“Mhm, I’ve got those chewy chocolate chip cookies you like so much.”

“This night just keeps getting better and better.” She smiles. When the check comes, they both reach for it.

“Blair, let go of the check.”

“No, I wanna pay for dinner.”

“I insist, let me pay.”

“Harry, I don’t want you always paying for everything, come on.”

“Fine, can we at least split it?”

“Ugh, fine.” She slaps her card down and so does he.

“So fucking irritating when you do that.” He huffs.

“No, what’s irritating is that you think I can’t pay for stuff.”

“That’s not what this is! I just like paying for our dates, it’s gentlemanly.”

“Yeah, well, it makes me feel like shit.” Becky comes to grabs the cards, and tells them she’ll be right back. “I’m doing well for myself now, I want things to be more equal. I’m not with you for your money.”

“I know you’re not, baby…I just…I can’t help that I wanna spoil you rotten.” He presses his forehead to hers, and she sighs before pecking his lips quickly.

“There are plenty of other ways you can do that, Harry.”

“Am I gonna have the chance?” Becky comes back with their cards, and they both sign their slips before sliding out of the booth. She takes his hand in hers as they walk out.

“Yes.” She says as they both get into the car. “I…I think wanna see where this goes with you, babe. I feel like I’m really ready for you now…”

“That means the world to me, Blair.” Her bottom lip starts to quiver, and he frowns. “Hey, why are you crying?” He reaches to caress her cheek.

“I just can’t believe you basically were waiting for me all this time.” She sniffles. “I feel so shitty. And I feel even shittier because I’m jealous of all the other people you slept with that we weren’t together.”

“Baby.” Harry sighs. “I was so in love with you, still am, none of them meant anything. I’m sorry you feel hurt by it. You don’t need to worry about it now, though, I’m all yours.” Her hand grips the collar of his shirt and she tugs him close to her, only a few centimeters apart.

“Mine.” She says, eyes darkening before her lips crash against his. She nips and sucks at his bottom lip as his hands cup her cheeks, trying to get even closer.

“Fuck.” He breathes, putting his keys in the ignition. “Need to get you home.” He pulls onto the street, and zips them home. His hand grips her thigh the entire time, squeezing it occasionally.

“Thought of you last weekend in the shower.” She says, shifting on her side a little. “Thought of the first time we had sex in the shower.” Her breath is on his ear now, and she nibbles on his lobe.

“Blair.” He warns, but she keeps going, kissing on his neck.

“Made me feel so good, always make me feel good.”

“Blair, I’m going to crash the car, just sit patiently, please.” She sits back normally in her seat. “Thank you.” He sighs. “So, you really thought of me?”

“It was hard not to with you leaving me breakfast.” She pouts at him. “So sweet of you, and I haven’t had a chance to even reward you for being so good to me.”

“You’re still into all that?” He asks cautiously.

“Only for you…do you still like it?”

“Only if it’s you. I told you I didn’t do that with anyone else.”

“You still trust me enough?”

“Course I do, baby.” He reaches for her hand to intertwine their fingers. He drives a little faster to his place, and they finally reach it. “Gonna take care of you first, and then you can do me, alright?”

“Whatever you want, babe.”

They get up to his place, somehow keeping their hands to themselves in the elevator. Before she knows it, Harry’s slamming Blair against the wall of his front hallway, attacking her neck with his lips.

“Gonna mark you up.” He says as he sucks on her skin. “Then everyone will know you’re taken again.”

She whimpers as her response, and pushes his head further into her neck. She wiggles out of her cardigan, and wraps her arms around his neck.

“Jump.” He grunts into her ear, and she does so, wrapping her legs around his waist so he can carry her to his bedroom. He sets her down on the bed, letting her get her shoes off. He does the same before kneeing onto the bed. She takes her tank top off, and his mouth waters at the sight of the bralette. “Christ.” He breathes as he gropes her supple breasts. “Missed these.” He sucks on her nipple through the lace, and her head rolls back. He does the same to the other one, getting it nice and pebbled. One of his hands slides down between her legs and he whimpers. “Need to get these off you, that okay?”

“Mhm, yeah, please.”

He undoes her button and zipper, yanking the jeans off of her. His eyes widen when he sees the matching panties.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Blair. Are these new?”

“Yeah, bought them today, just for you.” She props herself up on her elbows. “Wouldn’t mind you taking them off, though.”

Harry nearly growls as he tugs them down her legs. His hands slide up and down her smooth skin, having missed the feeling of her skin on his. He spreads her legs apart, and starts leaving open mouthed kisses on her inner thighs, sucking some nasty bruises into them. Blair clutches at his blankets and grits her teeth while he has his fun marking her up.

“Can I?” He asks, looking up at her. “Can I taste you?”

“Yes, of course you can.” She reaches forward to push his hair back, and he smiles at her before licking up her slit.

He licks and sucks all around her folds before working his tongue around her clit, sucking on it briefly before bringing his thumb to it. He licks into her center, making her mewl as he essentially just makes out sloppily with the area.

“Yes, fuck.” Her hands rake through his hair. “Feels so good, Harry.” She grinds against his face, and he moans against her. “Harry, fingers, please, use your fingers.” She whines.

He lifts his head from her, and reaches his hand up to her so she can suck on his fingers. She does so happily, and then he slips two fingers inside her. She gasps and lets her body go slack against the bed.

“Baby, shit, you’re so fucking tight, does it hurt?”

“No, feels so god, m’so wet.”

“I know, you’re dripping.” He pulls his fingers out and sucks on them, moaning again before slipping them back inside to the knuckle.

“R-right there.” She whimpers. Her mouth was open, body writhing under his, having not been touched by another man in almost a year, her body was reacting on overdrive. Her back was arching, and she was pushing her head further into the mattress. “Harry, Harry!” She screams as she comes around his fingers, and he fucks her through it, sucking on her clit to prolong it. As she starts to come down he sits up, and starts taking his shirt off. “Fuck, I’m gonna give it to you so good.” She sits up and watches he takes his clothes off. She takes her bralette off, and tosses it on the floor.

“How do you want me?”

“That depends…um…what would you like me to do? Like, how…how hard do you wanna go tonight?”

“I wanna be able to touch you since it’s been so long, and I wanna be able to look at you.”

“Alright, so we can just keep it sweet and easy, save the rest for another time.”

“Yeah…work back up to it.”

“Get on your back, m’gonna ride you.”

Harry gets himself situated, sitting up against the headboard. Blair raises an eyebrow at him.

“Just wanna be as close as possible tonight, baby.”

“Okay.” She smiles, and gets herself on his lap.

“Are you still on the pill?”

“Mhm, are you okay to not use a condom?”

“Definitely don’t want to. Need feel you.”

“Need to feel you too.”

She grips his hard cock, giving it a few pumps before she guides it inside herself. Her mouth falls open as she feels him stretch her out. Harry looks down and watches as she swallows him whole. They both moan out once he’s full inside her. Her fingernails dig into his shoulders as she gets adjusted to him. His hands squeeze at her hips and ass.

“Shit, Harry.” She presses her forehead to his. “Missed you so much.”

“Missed you too.” He cups her cheeks and kisses her as she starts to slowly rock on and off him. His tongue slips into her mouth, and she grips at his back as she kisses him back. “You feel so fucking good.” He says before biting her bottom lip, sucking on it.

She whimpers and moves herself a little faster on him. She grinds herself against him, feeling the friction on her clit start to form. His arms wrap around her back, his fingers digging into her skin.

“Move with me.” She says into his ear before nibbling on it.

He groans as he starts to thrust up into her. She starts to bounce up and down him, moving his hands to her hips. He watches as her breasts bounce in front of his face, and he leans in to kiss and suck on them. Her head rolls back with pleasure. She wanted to feel his tongue all over her. She brings two fingers to his mouth, and he takes them in quickly. He looks up at her as he sucks on them, swirling his tongue around them, and nipping at the pads of them. She takes them away to rub at her clit.

He growls, and moves to pin her on her back, surprising her completely. He was never like this in bed with her. She looks up at him with wide eyes as he throws one of her legs over his shoulder, and replaces her fingers with his own. She groans at his touch. He was driving himself in so much deeper and she could barely handle it.

“Okay?” He asks her, panting slightly.

“Mhm, it’s good, so good.” One of her hands goes to the back of his neck, pulling him down for a sloppy kiss. They breathe each other in and out once they both start panting. “Harry, fuck, I’m so close.” She squeezes around him and he bites down on her shoulder.

“Blair.” He moans into her ear. “Can I come inside you?”

“Yes! Fuck, yes, please!” She screams as she’s coming again, feeling even more turned on when she feels Harry’s hot come start to fill her up. She grinds her hips towards his trying to make her orgasm last as long as possible. “Love it when you fill me up, feels so good.” She says as she continues to squeeze around him.

He slots his mouth over hers as they both start to come down. Their tongues mold together as they kiss lazily. He’s slow to pull out, but he was too sensitive to stay inside her any longer. She squeezes her legs closed to try to not make a mess. Harry scoops Blair up quickly bridal style to carry her to the bathroom, setting her down gently on the toilet, and leaving her to do her business. When she walks out of the bathroom, he’s laying on his bed in a fresh pair of boxers with a dreamy smile on his face. She climbs onto the bed and lays in between his legs, resting her head on his tummy. She buries her face into his soft skin while he starts to card through her mussed up hair.

“So…we’re really back together?” He asks after a few moment of peaceful silence. She looks up at him with a smile on her face.

“Yeah, I really wanna be your girlfriend again.”

“You have no idea how happy I feel right now.” He continues to play with her hair as she sets her head back down.

“You’ve never really taken control like that before…I kinda liked it.” She peers up at him again, grinning. “Maybe I should see what being the sub feels like sometime.”

“Oh, baby, I don’t know if I could switch like that. Don’t think I’d get much pleasure in making you wait for things. Think I’d give in the second you asked for something.” He chuckles.

“You’re so cute, Harry, but I understand what you’re saying. I don’t mind being the one to do that stuff when you really need it, babe.” She moves further up his body so she can be closer to his face. “Do you think in a bit when you’re ready to go again we could…bring out some of your ties?”

“Feel like I’m already bloating back up, fuck.” He groans, and kisses her.

“You know what I’ve really missed doing with you?” She says, moving her lips to the shell of his ear.

“What, baby?”

“Fucking that tight hole of yours.” She says lowly, and he whimpers.

“Yes.” He breathes, and she looks at him. “Still have everything, it just hasn’t been used in a while.”

“Would you really wanna get into all of that tonight? I mean, I’m game if you are…you seemed hesitant before.”

“I just wanted to feel really close with you before, but now that we’ve got that out of our system I’m definitely up for it.” He pecks her lips. “We’ve got the rest of the weekend to do all we want.”

“Mmm, and the weekend after that, and the weekend after that, and maybe sometimes during the middle of the week. Oh! Remember when I used to come to your office at work, and I’d let you bend me over your desk, god, that was always so hot.”

“Or that time we screwed in that bathroom at your studio?” His smile was incredibly mischievous.

“Or the times you sit me up on the counter in your kitchen and fuck me?”

“Or the time you bent me over my own desk her here?”

“I think it’s time we make some new memories.” She says, getting off of him, and extending her hand out to him for him to follow.

“Couldn’t agree with you more.”

Blair leads them inside Harry’s walk in closet where he kept his box of toys. It was still in the same spot as always. She pops the lid off and they both smile at each other.

“How long do you think I could edge you for?” She asks him.

“Um, I should be okay to go for a while since I already came.”

“Excellent.” She picks up a cock ring, the kind that vibrates. “We’ve got a lot of time to make up for.”

[ajkal2]

the essay: childhood trauma, responsibility, and tma. part 1: jon

in a tma fic i published like six months ago, i left an authors note that promised an essay on jon and tim’s trauma to anyone who asked. several people asked, and so here i am!

the fic is called a deeply annoying child. it’s about being a kid and seeing something horrible, and it’s about jon and tim’s rocky relationship. 

this post isn’t actually about the fic. it’s a breakdown of jon’s mental state through s1-3. im going to make another post about tim, and then a final one linking it all back to the fic. i’ll chuck links to those on here when they’re posted!

but first, let’s talk about my boy, JON ‘JARCHIVIST’ SIMS.  

(fair warning- this isn’t a fully backed up meta post, it’s my interpretation of canon. any thoughts/queries/additions welcome! my askbox is always open <3) 

part o: a note on guilt

hey, you know what’s fucked up? an eight-year-old kid with survivors guilt. 

as a child, jon watched someone he knew die, due to circumstances that, while they were not his fault, were set in motion by his actions. children (and often teens!) think in black-and-white. complex logic often just doesn’t occur to them.  jon, at 8, looks at what happened, and says that’s my fault. i did that. jon didn’t like his bully, and wanted him to go away, and then he did. that instinctive reaction is something i think he never grows out of. when you already hate yourself, it’s easy to pile more fuel onto that flame.  he doesn’t think about risk, not to him, because he deserves whatever happens. he let someone die. he doesn’t ever forgive himself for that.

part i: belief (precanon+s1)

now, i have a headcanon about why jon doesn’t believe statement givers, and imma lay it all out for you right here. 

when jon was 8, and freshly traumatised, i think he tried to tell someone what happened. beneath all the layers, jon is compassionate, and tries to help people. now, picture this. a kid, one with a history of troubled behaviour and an atypical home life, goes up to someone (a police officer, his carer, a teacher) and tells them a giant spider ate someone. what’s that person, someone who is a rational adult, someone who doesn��t believe in silly things, going to say back? are they going to believe that kid? 

no. no way. they’re going to tell that kid that they’re making up stories, that they had a nightmare, that they should stop making jokes about someone who actually disappeared, jon, you need to be more sensitive about these things. 

now, that kind of dissonance- ‘this did happen, it was real’ and ‘everyone i talk to is telling me it’s not real’- is hard on adults. to a kid? devastating. 

jon, because he’s jon, would have been desperately searching for a way to explain this, and i think the thing he grabs on to is evidence. if he had some evidence of what happened, if he could prove what happened, people would believe him.*

but he doesn’t have evidence. and he resents that, and he resents that so much that by the time he’s an adult he’s settled into a mindset towards the supernatural somewhat akin to ‘i didn’t get believed, but you think you should be believed? what’s so good about you? you think you’re better than me?** fuck you! i don’t believe you!’   this is also a way of keeping himself safe. if the monsters aren’t real, they can’t hurt him.

and then, through s1, that mindset is chipped at. the statement givers start being real people, who come into jon’s office and cry when he dismisses them, and that clearly makes him uncomfortable. martin gives his statement, and martin has evidence. jon knows martin, and knows that he’s a good person, so martin having evidence isn’t likely to be an attack at jon. 

jane prentiss attacks the institute, and then suddenly jon’s shield of denial and anger is ripped away, because the monsters are real, and they can hurt him. 

*would they? i don’t know. people can be very attached to believing that the world is good, and kids are misguided, and there are a hundred thousand ways to explain away a piece of evidence, as jon comes to know well. 

** this ties into jon’s self hatred, as people saying they are better than him kicks him right in the Issues. 

part ii: paranoia (s2)

after prentiss attacks, jon is left floundering. his old I Do Not See It mindset has been smashed to pieces, and underneath all the trauma he’s been brutally suppressing is bubbling up. jon has no real experience in judging threats, because for the last 20 years he’s been burying his head in the sand and yelling he can’t see any threats. so he overcompensates, and assumes everything is a threat. his experience re:not being believed tells him that everyone around him is stupid and wrong and the only person he can rely on is himself.  

so he investigates. he’s convinced that his life is in imminent danger, that everyone around him is plotting to kill him. he doesn’t hold back, because you don’t hold back in a life-or-death scenario.  he knows something is wrong. something is very wrong. he’s sure it’s a threat to him, a threat to his life. but he can’t put a finger on what it is.

this is when his friendship with tim breaks down. i’ll talk about tim in a minute. 

jon spirals, and obsesses, and wrings answers out of the ether until it all falls together. he understands what is wrong, that it’s sasha that wants him dead. or, well, not sasha. he’s been winding up tighter and tighter all series, and he lets loose by striking out, acting for once instead of reacting. it is remarkably easy to buy an axe in central london, after all.

and then, well, that doesn’t go well. 

 part iii: desperation (s3)

after what jon did backfired so badly, he goes to georgie, because he has no other option. and he thinks, what went wrong? and the answer he comes up with is i didn’t know enough.* that’s why it all went wrong, because he didn’t know what he was dealing with. and so the solution is to find out more.

he’s starting to realise that he’s changing.** he wants to find out more about that as well, to control it. 

so he goes and finds out more. or, tries to. he doesn’t have many leads.*** jon is not good at judging threat, and doesn’t know the danger he is putting himself in. he’s stubborn, and locked onto getting more knowledge like a dog and a bone.****

and then he does get more knowledge, but it’s the knowledge that the world is ending, and he’s the only one who can fix it.***** he can’t process his trauma. he doesn’t have time. the world is ending. 

in late s3, jon is desperate. he’s overworking himself. he feels alone: daisy’s at his throat, elias is dangling information over his head, tim... 

we’ll talk about tim later. 

basira doesn’t trust him, georgie isn’t happy with him, melanie’s never liked him. he gets kidnapped for a month, and no one notices. the only person jon has firmly in his corner is martin.****** and he doesn’t have time to talk to martin, because he’s getting kidnapped, and jetting across the world chasing shadows, and desperately, desperately trying not to fuck everything up again. 

and he doesn’t! they build a plan. it’s dangerous, sure, but jon doesn’t even know what that means anymore. his whole life is dangerous. jon going into the unknowing is cautiously, waveringly hopeful. maybe this time it won’t go wrong. this time they know what to do, they know what they’re dealing with. 

and, the tragedy is, it doesn’t go wrong. they save the world. they send elias to prison. it all goes to plan. and tim is dead, and daisy is buried, and jon is lost in dreams. 

*👁️ **👁️ ***👁️ ****👁️  ***** he’s not the only one, of course, there are a whole team of people working on stopping the Unknowing, but jon is the Archivist. he’s the heir to gertrude’s legacy. 

****** this is where they fall in love, after all. which is a good thing, of course, but it adds an extra weight to every interaction they have, guessing and double-guessing how the other feels, until jon actually can’t talk to martin, not how he wants to, because he’s not sure if they’re there yet. (martin is there. jon doesn’t have time to be.) 

see yall next time 

i would like to cover s4 and s5, but this post is 1.5k already, and i’ve covered up to when the fic takes place! next time i will be ranting incoherently about timothy stoker, punctuated by bursts on uncontrollable sobbing. when that’s up, i’ll chuck a link here, and on the author notes of the fic i’m doing this for. see you then!

[idontblushsrry]

Itadori Yuuji Boyfriend Headcanons

A/N: Reader is from America and a black female. Idk why i decided to write this but I think that Yuuji would be a fun boyfriend lmao. I don’t entirely know what the reader’s cursed technique should be so lmk if you have any ideas. Until then enjoy Yuuji and reader being 2 idiots in love. Spoilers for all the eps of jujutsu kaisen up to about episode 11, nothing past that though as I want to finish the show first before reading the manga, so please be respectful of spoilers and label them (and tag if necessary) in the comments. Also srry if this cuts off abruptly bcus of the point the show is at. This is also like, all over the place but whatever.

(also sorry this was posted later than usual oops)

Word Count:  1943

This dork-

He is so sweet and kind and considerate 

But also a dumbass but also like he’s your dumbass

You and Yuuji are both equally stupid like bless yalls hearts

You and Yuuji met during his time at the Tokyo Academy when you transferred from America

The moment this man saw you walk up with Gojo-sensei he was smitten

Like your skin was glowing??? how???

And you had a slight accent but like he loved it too

And when you came up to greet him and shake hands you smelled so good and your skin was so soft

((He would later come to find out that the root of that was the shea cocoa butter lotion you used))

But yea mans was smitten and he is fully in love with you lmao

Will do literally anything you ask

You hungry? He’s prepared a 5 course, michelin star meal

Want new clothes? He’s been training for the day he could hold your bags for you

Ran out of hair products?? He’s already back with a special box of your products that he had imported from America

To this day you don’t know how he was able to get those products so quickly

He is loves when you tell him things about you from your day, to your times in america, to how your cursed energy works

Yall are the couple that does stupid shit together

Like one time you showed Yuuji one of those life hack videos and he was like 

“We should totally do that” 

And you were like “Bet”

Needless to say Fushiguro was very confused at the sight of bandaids on both of your fingers the next morning

“???What happened?”

“Well you see, I told Yuuji that I should use the glue gun because he didn’t even know where to put the glue stick. And he said nah, I got it and um yea so I fell and the glue gun was plugged in and then he tripped over me and so now we look like this.”

Gojo and Kugisaki thought that this was hilarious while Fushiguro decided that he’d store your guys’ glue gun in his shadows from now on

How yall manage to get through missions you go on together alive is a miracle

Speaking of missions, you eventually ask Yuuji what’s his deal because you feel a powerful aura coming from him but he never uses cursed energy, always cursed weapons

Cue Sukuna’s mouth popping up on the side of his face like “Hey mamas”

(You can’t tell me that Sukuna isn’t the type of guy to ask where his hug at)

“YUUJI WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!”

“Oh, I guess you haven’t met Sukuna yet, huh?”

So he sits you down and explains how he ate Sukuna’s finger and you're sitting there like ‘mhm mhm mhm, sorry you what?’

For like 3 days after he told you that you couldn’t bring yourself to kiss him just because you were processing the fact that Yuuji ate someone’s nasty old ass finger and would have to eat 19 more

And the fact that he’s the vessel of like the worst curse known to man 

During those 3 days, Yuuji’s pouting because he’s like ‘I fucked up, now she doesn’t wanna kiss me let alone talk to me because of this monster inside of me :(’

Meanwhile you’re just like ‘why would anyone eat some random mummified finger?’

Eventually you get wind of Yuuji’s bad mood and immediately, you rush to smooth things over with him.

You knock on his door and hear blankets rustling before he goes, “I’m not in the mood to play fight right now Kugisaki’

“Can I come in baby?”

You immediately hear the most comical almost cartoonish amount of noise ranging from a cup falling over, sheets falling off the bed, and what sounds like Yuuji falling flat on his ass before he opens the door

When he does, you’re laughing and it’s like the sky is no longer grey and the world is filled with color

You smile at each other before your moment is interrupted with Sukuna going “Finally, full offense, his whining was getting annoying”

You step inside his room and apologize for ignoring him, explaining that you just needed time to process things, explaining that you should’ve told him that before dipping

He just grabbed you in a bear hug and lifted you of the ground and spinning you around laughing happily, after all he wasn’t even upset with you, he just missed you

And thus begins the honeymoon phase of your guys’ relationship

Fushiguro is actually really happy for you guys and is the most supportive of your relationship but if anyone asked him to admit that out loud he’d actually apparate to the nearest marooned ship

Nobura doesn’t hate you guys but she thinks all couples are disgusting, so while it’s nothing personal, she does gag when you and Yuuji do so much as make goo goo eyes at each other

Gojo is actually like the main cheerleader of your relationship. 

He is the teacher that changes the seating chart to put students he ships together

He was always pairing you and Yuuji up on missions and placing you as sparring partners like ur not slick

If Gojo is the cheerleader, Sukuna is an actual antagonist

Like the man goes out of his way to CHOOSE violence

Like on time you kissed Yuuji’s cheek on a date and when you pulled back, your lip was bleeding and Sukuna’s mouth was smirking at you

Another thing he likes to do is tell you all of Yuuji’s simp^tm thoughts

Like all of them

Now Yuuji isn’t ashamed of how much he loves you and is in fact very open with it, but he doesn’t need Sukuna telling you that the only reason he bought x mouthwash was because it made your breath smell like “sunshine” and he had to see if it would work on him

Speaking of dates, good luck

Now I stand by the fact that Yuuji would never half-ass a date and things with him are certainly never boring

But he’s also like a country boy in the city and his tourist tendencies tend to get the best of him

Like you’ll be trying to find a spot to eat and when you look back Yuuji’s gone

((Prolly to buy another I <3 Tokyo shirt so you can both match))

He always catches up with you ad you eventually learn that but like the first few times be havin you ready to put up a lost child signal on the loudspeaker

He’s very sweet and this is where his thoughtfulness shines through

You and Yuuji plan dates in the same way one plays bingo

Like because you never know where you’re going to be r when exactly you’ll both be free (especially with Gojo-sensei and his bare minimum ass information) you two tend to go ‘ok well if we’re here we’ll go here and if we’re here, we’ll go here’ and so on and so forth

But Yuuji always remembers such little one-off details about you that make your dates.

Like you mention wanting to try a sushi train and he’s already scrolled through multiple yelp reviews and watched every youtube restaurant review like 9 times

But every high has a low and Yuuji and your’s low comes suddenly and it brings you crashing to the ground with no warning and nothing to slow your descent

When your class of first years were sent to exorcise the special grade cursed womb

When Yuuji’s hand got blown off and he told you to run you froze, your mind racing faster than your legs could even start

“(Y/N) RUN!” Yuuji’s voice broke you out of your fear-based trance

“I- I...can’t...I can’t leave you!” you cried out all your rational senses screamed at you to go, run, he had Sukuna and you were barely a grade 2 sorcerer. But your intuition told you if you left him you wouldn’t see him alive again.

You were trapped in a paralysis of indecision but the choice was made for you when a sticky tongue wrapped around your midriff and you were gulped into the mouth of one of Fushiguro’s frogs

“Goddamn it Fushiguro! Let me go! I need to... save... him.” You were outside the building before you could even finish arguing.

You glared up at Fushiguro but your eyes softened some when you saw how beat up Kugisaki looked.

He gave you this look that said he did what he had to do and he didn’t care what you had to say about it 

You and him waited in the rain for Yuuji or Sukuna to exit the building

You tried to focus yourself and save your negative emotions for your cursed attack

When Sukuna inevitably appeared, one finger stronger, you were fully prepared to fight him

However, he didn’t seem interested in fighting you and more engaged in fighting with Megumi

You tried to urge Fushiguro to wait it out, eventually Sukuna would lose control, but when Sukuna took Yuuji’s heart hostage, you both knew you’d have to fight

You and Fushiguro gave it your all but when Yuuji came back he still died 

It took all your strength to not completely fall apart after his death and the support from the second years as well as Kugisaki and Fushiguro helped

You’d tried to visit him at the morgue but Shoko only told you that she didn’t think it’d be a good idea.

You still slept in his sweaters and the things that smelled like him from time to time, trying to make the idea of him last, but after a month, the smell of him had started to fade

Everything about Yuuji’s memory seemed to become leached away with time, from his smell, to the wear present on things he’d given to you

You couldn’t help but feel resentful towards yourself but also to Sukuna, he’d taken Yuuji from you with the same care that one would throw litter on the ground

The pain in your chest didn’t wane either, it only became ignorable to a degree as training for the exchange with the Kyoto students became more intense

Fushiguro is a comfort to you as well, aside from you, him and Yuuji were the closest to each other and so he gets a lot of what you’re going through and doesn’t push when you become more withdrawn

He also lets you pet his demon dog too but when you ask him why he’s letting you pet it he just says ‘because no one would believe you if you told them’ lies

The bastard really just does it because he knows you’re sad and he doesn’t want you to be sad

Speaking of the Kyoto students, Zenin Mai and Toudou Aoi are permanently on your shit list

You’re relieved that Panda, Maki, and Inumaki came to your guys’ aid but like if you had your way Mai wouldn’t even exist

Anyways Maki has Panda physically restrain you while she tries to calm you down 

“(Y/N), you can kick her ass at the exchange!”

When you calm down, Panda puts you down and even though Mai’s long gone with Todou to go get his handshake, you make a promise that carries through the wind

‘Zenin Mai, pray that the next time you run across me I’m feeling kind, because if not-’, the last word is lost as the wind picks up but Mai feels a shiver rack through her body that more than ensures your message.

[normal-thoughts-official]

what are your thoughts about izzy and alec’s sibling bond from the scenes we got from the show

i liked their relationship a lot, actually. which is not to say that it was flawless, but the flaws we got to see were honestly some of what made me the most interested in them. and then of course sh dropped it like a hot potato, but like... it was still pretty interesting to me

disclaimer that this is my own Abused Kid™ stuff projecting for sure, but i still think the way i see their relationship makes sense (or well, i'm not sure if i would say my parents were abusive, but they are quite a lot like the lightwoods in their own way and i definitely consider the lightwoods abusers, so it doesn't really matter that much). so like this will probably feature a fair amount of oversharing lol

anyway! so what i find really interesting and really like about alec and izzy's relationship is that despite the fact that them having abuser parents who honestly put them in very specific "kid who always fucks up" vs "kid who is expected to do everything perfect" roles, they managed to still be friends and on each other's side and have an overall very loving and supporting relationship. i think that's what attracted me to their sibling bond the most, because for decades me and my brother didn't really manage to be close or build a relationship precisely because of those roles. in our case, my brother was the fuckup kid, i was the kid who had to always be perfect (in my case, lowkey to "compensate" for him) and it led to him resenting me and being all but afraid of me because everything i did seemed to be so much better than him in my parent's eyes, so... yeah

so it always struck me as pretty interesting that alec and izzy seemed to be genuinely so close. izzy is one of the few people who gets alec to smile and who gets to ever touch alec, and although they have a lot of differences, it always came down way more to teasing than to actual fighting between them

but also - which is partially why i said that their flaws were part of what drew me to them the most - the tensions that emerged from that abusive background were very much there, and i found that pretty interesting

another disclaimer that i tend to relate to alec more, because i was in the same role as him, but also tend to be very forgiving towards izzy because i see my brother in her and i blame myself for our relationship way more than him since he was the weakest link there lol. but also in part i think i project unto her in the sense that i kept trying to make things easier to my brother, but i kept fucking up because i didn't fully understand his situation, and i definitely think that's what went on with izzy and alec

so let's get into the details of how the whole "fuckup kid" vs "golden kid" (and disclaimer before ppl come yell at me again: i'm not saying that alec was treated well by his parents or that they treated him like he was good enough, because they definitely didn't. i'm saying that when compared to izzy he was considered the kid that had potential, that could be trusted, and who had the most amount of pressure put unto. again, that was how i was treated by my parents, so miss me with the "wow you think alec had it easy?" shit because i know damn well he did not lol. the "golden kid" is an abuse archetype and therefore it means you are abused. calm down) thing affected their relationship in particular

so alec was the eldest, and i think from very early on he latched unto the expectations his parents had for him as a way to protect himself and make sense of the world. i was telling autistic alec anon just today how i think that the fact that shadowhunter culture was so black and white and gave alec such a clear sense of what he was supposed to do and who he was supposed to be kind of helped him navigate the world because it made it easier for him to figure out the path to follow when everything else was just so confusing and the expectations were so crushing and everything he felt was so complicated. i think alec's always known that he didn't conform, and because he didn't have a safe outlet to let that out, he decided to just go by the book to protect himself. which is valid

that being said, i think the other half of the reason why he decided to pursue the "perfect shadowhunter" existence so hard was exactly because of izzy (and later jace and max). because again, alec is the eldest, and he was already being crushed by expectations of upholding the lightwood name and following the rules and whatnot. like, maryse and robert basically expected their kids to undo all the shit they had done when they joined the circle, and they didn't even tell them that that was the reason, so they were probably just taught that they should do what the lightwoods said because and that was that. and because there were all these stakes that they didn't even understand or know about, the pressure was harder

and alec was already being taught to be a leader, and he loved his sister, so he probably wanted to shield her from all the pressure of those expectations, because he knew he was out there fucking killing himself for it. so i think part of the reason he tried so hard to be perfect was because, if he was perfect, izzy (and then jace and max) would get to breathe a little bit. alec is pretty self sacrificial and definitely has a tendency to shoulder suffering in the place of ppl he loves, so i don't think that's far fetched. also, we saw how alec literally shouldered all the blame for jace's fuckups, despite the fact that jace did it all behind alec's back and with alec telling him not to do it (i'm saying jace because from what i remember what got alec punished in particular was something that jace and clary did, not izzy, but izzy was definitely also going against whatever alec told her to and i have no doubt that he would shoulder the blame for her as well, although i don't think she would use that against him, unlike some people. but i digress). but alec just allowed himself to be punished for it like it was on him, so i think it makes sense to believe that alec tried to take the brunt of their parents' pressure so izzy wouldn't have to

and the thing is that i think that izzy... never realized that. i mean, i'm sure she realized that alec was trying way too hard to be what their parents expected of her, but she never realized that she was part of the reason. and she tried to get him to rebel a little bit because she thought that he needed it, and i mean, she was right, but what she didn't realize is that the fact that alec didn't rebel was so she could. not that izzy was not facing consequences for her rebelling, because we saw how maryse treated her versus how she treated alec and jace (it's very interesting to me also how once jace came into the picture he became an actual golden kid, not a "golden kid" like the abused kid who is put as impossibly better than the other one but still never good enough, but actually good enough, and how that was used to put alec in that position where he had to work even harder as well. but that's for another post)

and that's the frustrating part (and i think the part i relate to izzy for the most) because i think she was genuinely trying to help? but she never really understood alec. i was also talking earlier today (or was it yesterday? rip my time blindness but it was definitely recent) about how many people seem to understand alec's coming out story as an internalized homophobia story, and how i don't think that's how it was at all. i don't wanna repeat myself so if anyone's interested in that it's here. and the thing is, i think izzy made the same mistake. she falsely assumed that alec didn't rebel because he genuinely internalized that being gay was bad and because he was lying to himself about it, but that wasn't the case at all. alec knew he was gay and accepted that, he just decided to stay in the closet and live life that way. which obviously is horrible and traumatic, but it's different, and because izzy couldn't tell the difference, she made it worse

izzy kept trying to make alec "accept" himself, but alec didn't really have a problem accepting himself; he just wanted to keep that a secret to protect himself. but because she thought that he was in denial, she kept trying to push him to... not exactly admit because i wouldn't say she was all like "alec just say it you'll feel better" but to maybe "face" it, and alec interpreted that as her demanding that he came out of the closet, which he couldn't do. so he kept closing off and she kept interpreting that as him being in denial, so she kept pushing, and she made things infinitely worse for him even if i am 100% sure her intentions were good (just look at how protective she was of alec and magnus during the beginning of their relationship, or how she tried to get maryse and robert to marry her off instead of alec, or the difference between how clary and jace talked about it - "you're in love with jace"; "this is about your feelings" - and how izzy talked about it - "alec, it's okay") but as we say in brazil, hell is filled to the brim with good intentions

that is not to say that izzy didn't go on that straight shit from time to time ("we all got our things, don't we?" comes to mind, but i gotta say it really pisses me off how everyone talks about izzy being homophobic in that scene and completely ignores how openly racist alec was. like obviously both are fucked up, but yall clearly seem to think only one of these is a problem. but that's for another post) but i think that generally her intentions were always to get alec to be more comfortable with himself/happier. she noticed how much the lightwood's expectations were crushing him, but again, she didn't realize that alec was choosing to take the brunt of these. she didn't realize that he couldn't rebel like she did because of her. not until it was too late

i think izzy only started to realize that - particularly how much of her rebelling was only allowed because alec was there as a safe option so they couldn't afford to have a "fuckup child" even if obviously they still hated that they couldn't control izzy - when she tried to get the lightwoods to marry her instead of alec and they were like... lol? it's alec who's supposed to save the lightwood name, not you. you are worthless as a bride and as a peace offering

and that's when it hit her that alec was taking a role, a role that he had been effectively protecting her from having to take, but that also meant she couldn't help him

i think that's when she realized, because you can see the change in her behavior, you know - "you stood by me, so now i'm standing by you, big brother". she understood that alec was trying to protect her the same way she had tried to protect him and never realized, but that by trying to get alec to just stop without thinking about what the greater picture was for him, she was just making things harder for him. i think that was some very interesting growth we got to see

and on the other hand alec didn't realize that izzy had been trying to protect him as well. like i think that she definitely laid the whole "fuckup kid" thing too thick, which was partially for herself, like, basically embracing the role because she would never be good enough for the lightwoods so why not just accept that she was a fuckup and be everything they despised? but i think she also partially did it for alec, because she wanted to show him that it was okay. that there could be a life that wasn't just doing what your parents expected you to. and like, sure, she got treated like shit for it, and she faced some forms of abuse that alec didn't (mainly touch/affection withdrawal from what we got to see in the show, but also considerable more verbal degrading. again im not saying alec had it easy, especially because we know that the parts where maryse expressed "pride" over him were basically used to make him do what she wanted; but still, the difference in treatment is very clear), but she was still standing, so it was possible, see?

i don't even think this is something i had to defend a lot because she said it so many times? she was always telling alec that he could loosen up, that it was okay (she said the exact words "it's okay" many times). she had a kinda, idk, sassy attitude over it, generally treating it like a joke, but imo that was because she knew that if she talked about it in all seriousness alec would shut down, like he had many times. so i think by making it into a joke and playing the mindless "woo i don't care about anything" character she was trying to have that conversation in a more subtle way. at the very least, alec was amused

and i think a huge part of the fandom also misinterprets izzy as being exactly that shallow person who only thought about immediate gratification that she pretended to be but honestly i don't see that at all? throughout all of season 1, the single thing that drove izzy's character was her desire to protect alec, except for when she tried to save meliorn from him, which was like.... just the decent thing to do. and izzy is not a shallow character. she is not stupid. and she is not primarily driven by her own desires. that is not to say that izzy was never selfish (see: how she treated raphael, so much shit about sizzy), but she is not the kind of character who only does whatever the fuck she wants to because it sounds more fun that's jace and clary. most of the time, her primary motivation was to help alec or clary, aka people that she loves. i think that, like alec, she is the kind that only extends that protectiveness over the people closest to her and is not really the "helping everyone out" type, but she is also not completely self-absorbed like she pretended to be. and i don't think she even cared all that much about parties and whatnot. like when did we see her going to one on her own without it being a mission? when did we see izzy actually pursuing one night stands? that is not to say that these things are bad, but if izzy were that girl who only cares about sleeping around and having fun like she pretended to be, then one would think we would see her actually doing that instead of just performing that shallow mindless sexy girl stereotype?

and like look i know that she was written to be a sexy lamp or whatever but if the writers aren't gonna care enough about her to make that consistent and show her doing that beyond what she says i might as well go there and give her the depth that she deserves. especially because we got to see izzy talk about that so much. like her saying that one of the things that attracted her to raphael was that for once in her life it didn't feel like everything was all about sex. i find it appalling that people genuinely think that that's all she's about when she made it so clear that it bothered her. like imo izzy took on that role, again, to piss off her parents, and also because it was something that she was good at. she was good at being sexy and she got gratification and positive feedback over that, which she was obviously starved for since her own mother wouldn't even fucking hug her. it was the one thing she didn't fuck up at and that got her to feel like she was treasured, even if really she was just desired

not just that but izzy also consistently made hard choices for those she loved? like im not gonna say that izzy going to save meliorn from torture was anything less than the bare minimum but if she were that shallow self centered persona that only wanted to have fun and didn't care about the consequences she wouldn't have put so much on jeopardy to save them. or risk being deruned and losing everything so she could call the clave out on their bullshit. or break up with meliorn (someone we know she genuinely liked) so she could offer herself to be married off to someone in alec's place. the one thing that we know izzy would be miserable over, because that woman was not born to be no one's trophy wife. and she was fully ready and willing to throw her WHOLE life away for alec. that would be FOREVER. miss me with that "izzy is a shallow girl who only cares about herself and partying" shit

like to me it's very clear that that was a front (especially because the way she talked about it was SO over the top too, like, it sounded so fake. and when we got scenes of her talking to alec or to clary she was a wholly different person, way less confident, way softer. honestly izzy could have been such a great narrative about woc and hypersexualization and the traps of taking over that "femme fatale" role as a form of empowerment or whatever, but of course sh doesn't have the range for that) and i think that front was first and foremost for alec's sake. she was trying to break him out of the lightwood's brainwashing. what she didn't realize was that he wasn't brainwashed, he was making a choice between the very bad options that he had. and alec in turn didn't realize that izzy acted the way she did, in great part, for him, not for herself. i wouldn't say that alec bought that izzy was a shallow girl because we know how much he loves her and that he knows her better than anyone, but i think he also didn't realize she was trying to help/protect him

so it was such an interesting miscommunication issue and i would have loved to see that actually addressed and worked on, but alas. the most we ever got was them talking about being honest to each other about the yin fen. and izzy pretty much didn't get real plotlines or character development anyway daoijdaoij except for the absolute bullcrap that was the yin fen which i am not going to get into because it makes me so angry and i hate it so much

and then of course sh didn't really get into it and basically considered the problem solved once alec came out, which i mean, i guess does take that out of the way when it was the main miscommunication problem between them, but still, they should have had a talk and realized what a stupid dance they were both having and how they would have both benefitted from working together instead of in the name of each other. which is a frequent trope for alec in relationships anyway, too, so it could be a good introduction to these issues, but alas!

in short: i think both alec and izzy love each other very much, have each other's best interests at heart, but weren't really seeing each other as they were. and they both put a front for each other (izzy in particular) that made communication pretty much impossible. and they ended up not being very good for each other (particularly izzy for alec, but i think alec also made her feel alone and like he saw her as.. just some stupid girl, you know?), but i loved to see how these things were there simultaneously. the wanting to help each other and the effectively only making things worse. the love that was so present and so strong despite all of that. the way that they never became competitive or resented each other like kids who are raised with those dynamics usually get. i just love how there was so much going on and so many problems but still so much love between them. i really wished we got to see it actually get some sort of closure and more exploration, but. fuck me i guess

[skeetlehand]

ghost!tommy au masterpost #2

ghost tommy au masterpost part one

I made another one. w hhh

au summary: tommy loses his final canon life during the explosion right after the pogtopia vs. manberg war

Nobody really knew where he’d gone either - Tommy had allegedly gone “missing” after the festival. In L’manberg, everyone figured that while it was odd, since tommy would usually be running down the Prime path shouting, or just being generally loud and annoying... he was just... missing. Nobody had seen him all week, but everyone had thought they were the singular individual who hadn’t seen him lately. Eventually when one of them asked where he’d been, everyone came to the consensus that they weren’t the only ones who hadn’t seen him. At first, they thought he was just grieving, since he spent the most time with wilbur. But then ghostbur shows up, which, while was a pretty sad/happy moment, it raised some sort of unease.... 

.... and then, ghost tommy shows up.

I put more details under the cut!!! enjoy pain yall

feel free to send asks about... well, anything! if you found something interesting here, share it! if you’ve got a completely unrelated idea, share it! i like to read your asks. I promise i’ll answer... eventually... (the five asks in my inbox @ me: 👀)

courtesy of @gheysnakelady and their great ideas 👀❤️(you have so many good ones!!!)

current table of contents:

ghost tommy’s appearance

relationships with the rest of the sbi

ghost tommy’s memories

other ghost tommy stuff (misc i guess)

a) presence 

b) connections 

c) blue/yellow 

d) body found

”””pranks”””

dreamon hunters...? (become basically bootleg ghostbusters. but just only one of them.)

TBC: to be touched upon in the next masterpost/page set

relationships with the rest of the smp

a) SAM SAM SAM BIG BROTHER SAM AAA; b) the cabinet + lmanberg... hhh tubbo n big q,,, fundy and niki,,, dream,, the badlands... i need ideAS

reactions to the reveal (at some point... big oof)

.... a revival? phil no -

1. Ghost!Tommy’s Appearance

(should... should I be calling him ghostinnit now? yall use that term a whole lot...)

before he meets anyone (excluding ghostbur and maybe philza. some others might’ve seen him lingering around certain places, faintly), he looked simultaneously exactly as he did before he died, overlaid by his prior deaths (an sword/axe(?) to the back when trying to escape dream during eret’s betrayal, an arrow wound that goes in deep, and currently, visible blast marks and the wither effect). He hadn’t figured out what he looked like yet, other than the noticeable vision problems, but when he did, he did his best to change his form (it’s my current theory that ghosts look like what they want to look like - ie. ghostbur’s nice yellow sweater being a choice on his end). It’s an effort, to look “okay”, and when he goes off the rails, there are hints to what he looks like. 

it’s mostly because... Tommy remembers his death vicariously.  All of them. This is not a good thing.

when he does meet people, his form is slightly transparent, but he looks almost normal. there’s that new hairstyle, which really isn’t a stylistic choice on my end ;’] ... there is a lot of sooty(?) grey patches on his sleeves, and a large black mark smack dab in the middle his shirt. The wither markings on his hands aren’t clear, but that they are there is visible. He hates the wither effects the most - no matter what he does, how hard he concentrates, they. don’t. go. away.

He’s got hair over his eye, like wilbur. Gets uncomfortable when it’s joked about, because that’s a part of his face that’s.... yknow.... and he can’t hide it otherwise

Since ghost!tommy is more emotionally gripped than ghostbur is, unable to let go of the past and all the memories + emotions from it (while ghostbur lets go of it Very Easily), his form shifts a lot. Not only to his “death form” (all of his canon deaths on one ‘current’ form), but to that of the different arcs - dirty long sleeves for pogtopia (it’s cold in the ravines, and he don’t got a coat), ripped revolutionary outfit (eret’s betrayal and the arrow both happened here)... and during his more mellower moments, a green bandana that goes around the neck. He’s constantly changing in clarity, too. It’s hard to focus on him at times.

2. Relationships with the SBI found family gang: pain

did you really think we could have nice things in this au? if so... ouch

Phil

tommy did see him sort of as a dad/some sort of older figure to come to for help. but phil has a history of not exactly being a Dad. sure, he basically adopted techno, and wilbur definitely saw him as a dad, but for tommy, it’s an unspoken relationship that they should be like that, that phil should have his back, that tommy can ask phil for help. yet, they don’t. Phil showed up way too late in the game to make an effort on all of the impacts the wars and pogtopia and wilbur have created, and maybe tommy resents him a little, for leaving him and his brothers alone on the server. maybe tommy saw wilbur die by philza’s hands, moments before he did the same point is, tommy was never a “difficult child” persay, he made all of his complaints loud and clear. philza didn’t expect to do any “underneath the underneath” with him... and didn’t feel like tommy needed the attention all that much, since he could basically occupy himself. 

Think of it like this, at least in my au, that phil was never meant to be a dad. He just chose to be some sort of strong figure in the boys’ lives (found family!!!!) - but he was a survivor first and foremost, and sometimes it shows. His habits rubbed off on his boys, and that shows too - him avoiding talking about Big Things with ghost tommy is reminiscent of how ghostbur dances around questions, and being pressured into doing things is reminiscent of techno.

Tommy, on the other hand, felt as if phil always favored techno, and if not techno, then wilbur, over him. it’s okay though! he doesn’t need phil, he’s a Big Man™! Look at him... dealing with... a war... exile... funky brother problems... more war... okay maybe if phil showed up sooner things would’ve been better but he didn’t so tommy had to be the bigger man! that’s... that’s okay...? hmm. okay maybe he’s mad at phil a little bit,,,,

techno

ahh, complicated relationships *rubs hands*. 

tommy was proud of his brother, at first, the way only little brothers can be, bragging about their cooler bigger bro - that, and tommy lowkey thought there’d be someone to help him with wilbur’s decline. haha NOPE. techno don’t do emotional. thanks,,,,,

on the other hand, all ghost tommy can remember is techno being the unspoken favorite, the favorite child, the favorite brother, teasing and feelings of inadequacy (techno wasn’t a bad brother, though... just... better). And then…he remembers techno showing up well into wilbur’s long decline, techno’s silence when he could’ve used someone to speak up for him, techno’s passiveness towards the paranoia, techno’s stoicism when all tommy wanted was someone to be strong, someone else to be the better man. instead, the job was left to him. why was it always left to him? he wasn’t supposed to do all of this, right?

Techno doesn’t feel all too bad about it, before tommy’s death is discovered. He thinks that the impact of the statement was made through humiliation and violence enough (tommy being pinned down, the hero speech, the ruined victory, etc). What did tommy expect, using the Blade like that? honestly, techno’s a little offended, that tommy thought he could use his brother that easily, like some weapon made of more skill than any of them know what to do with. Techno had made his opinions very clear on government, and then they go on to appoint another one? (even though, it was sort of clear that the goal was to “go back” to the old lmanberg, government and all) so tommy kinda had it coming. besides, he’d respawn and they’d go back to normal.

but then wilbur dies, permanently, and techno has to watch his brother come undone into something else barely reminiscent of what he was momnents ago... ghostbur barely even resembles the wilbur techno used to remember. death matters, on this server, which is two blows in themselves that techno will have to deal with. and then... tommy doesn’t respawn.

techno was sure he’d seen tommy around lmanberg. albeit, like, kinda quiet, but maybe the kid was going through rough times since wilbur died. it wasn’t like techno was going to talk to him about it or anything, since his presence probably wouldn’t be welcomed anyway. tommy was kind of immature, in that regard - he’d be really annoying and yell, like he always did when something didn’t go his way. that, and he wasn’t exactly welcome in lmanberg anymore...

besides, if tommy had a problem, he’d make it clear himself, right?

wilbur/ghostbur

There’s a lot tommy isn’t willing to talk, about wilbur. What could he even say? more than half of the things he did, challenges he stepped up to, were to make Wilbur proud (as he remembered him). He hated losing, because he liked winning more, sure, but also because he wanted to make wilbur proud of him. See: the bow duel, giving up his disc for freedom.

but pogtopia wilbur, well... things only got worse. sometimes, things looked a little better, but over time, tommy learned to expect what came after. even with techno there, tommy was always left to be the “bigger man” - in the aftermath of the festival, the pit, the final pet war - no matter how much he lost, it was always him having to move forward from that point. nobody really helped. it was just tommy and wilbur, and the sound of silence in the ravine.

tommy saw the final explosion of lmanberg as both the ultimate betrayal (the worst thing wilbur could’ve done, couldn’t he have waited, phil was here, surely phil couldve done what tommy spent months trying to do, what techno wouldn’t do, why couldn’t wilbur have this?) but at the same time, he... figured wilbur would pull sometime like this. at this point, the victory might’ve lightened his spirits a whole lot, but he spent months with wilbur alone and in the course of the preparatory week, wilbur didn’t miraculously get better. tommy wishes he did, and he can wish all he wants, but deep down, he knows that he didn’t. the others might’ve not noticed, since they weren’t there for that long.

as for ghostbur, it’s... awkward. 

With ghostbur, he’s stuck between wanting to reach out to his big brother and stay away due to alivebur’s memory living in constant loop in his head. Sad as it is to say, he was sort of… relieved, when ghostbur revealed the extent of his memory loss. after that point..  if ghostbur remembers all the happy bits of their time on the server, surely he could help fill in the gaps? 

Ghostbur was kind of the first person he saw when he resurfaced, and ghostbur then couldn’t really understand the gravity of the situation, nor who tommy was because of how he acted and looked before. tommy didn’t approach him either, mostly out of fear and anticipation. (he couldn’t imagine this of all things, being stuck with wilbur for all of his undying days, hadn’t he had enough?) 

At first, it’s awkward. He doesn’t know what to say, or when to say things, and he’s a lot quieter than in life, so it’s noticeable. He meets Ghostbur, who greets him with joy, until he realizes that Tommy is dead. Memories of the manberg v pogtopia war arise, and he flees. He does not come back, because looking at Tommy hurts. tommy doesn’t get it, really... but.....

and every moment after that, the way ghostbur looks at him, with the guilt in his eyes, the way that he looks away, unable to bear looking anymore… well, tommy is starting to think ghostbur remembers a lot more than what he’s willing to let on (he’s afraid he is). If wilbur doesn’t like him, that’s not… that’s nothing new, anyway. it’s probably one of the few things that didn’t change.

3. Ghost Tommy’s Memories

Going by the HC that they’re caused by how you feel when you die. ie. Wilbur dies happy because he is relieved by Phil stabbing him. That he can rest, while Tommy gets the opposite. Wanting to live but having it so cruelly taken by a loved one that you trusted, only feeling pain and betrayal and the feelings when they had while dying is the reason why they only hold certain memories.

Basically: like Wilbur, only remembers memories associated with a type of feeling. However, unlike Wilbur, Tommy only remembers the bad things.

Ghostbur suggested to phil, who in turn, suggested to tommy that he recorded his memories in a book, like he did! thus, tommy’s “What I remember” book: which is full of stuff he just wants to remember

Dream Good Times (this is just a lie, haha... but refers to the time (read: blank space) before the first disk war)

jokes! (when you make fun of someone, even in good jest, it’s possible they won’t take it that way themselves.)

My home (because it’s been griefed and destroyed so many times at this point)

The disks (not what they sound like though, just that they were apparently important, that he fought for them. he can’t remember what they sound like)

My pets (pet wars. can’t remember whose pet was whose. he remembers mars, though. he talked to mars a lot, on days that pogtopia was quiet... empty...)

the duel

Winning the war (trading the disks for freedom)

L’manberg (manberg)

… Tubbo (? ...dying at the festival.)

Techno & Wilbur  (and phil, and what they did to him, and what they didn’t do.)

pogtopia hanging out with friends (there was nothing good about pogtopia, so he crossed it off and wrote the most blandest happy thing he could replace it with. he wishes pogtopia was just that)

the pit

winning the war (the victory, the explosion his death. if you ask why he wrote it twice, he just.. hesitates. “we won, right?” you might nod along, assuming his memory was just being faulty, that all he could remember were the two victories, that like wilbur, nothing beyond the election/exile registered... but you could also note that neither of those “victories” really felt like winning, in the end. consider the cost...)

i have a secret second list for his “actual memories”. i call it “the list of grievances”. i am so clever haha

4. other ghost tommy stuff

since ghostbur had to go and add some stuff to ghost Lore™, i guess ghost tommy now melts in the rain and snow. not that he really... cares...

other things! these are ideas, idk...

1. presence

maybe whenever he gets near someone, the temperature drops and people feel overwhelmingly negative emotions (ie. sadness, pain, anger, guilt, etc). the intensity of the sadness effect depends on the person or if the person is near - the more that person had done, the more they felt.

Wilbur just feels like melancholy. nobody really notices, since it’s .... well.

2. connections to things?

maybe he’ll be found at certain locations, like his house/jukebox, the election podium, pogtopia, etc, etc... just, ghosting...

4. maybe he’s not actually dead

3. have some blue .... or yellow

either:

a) ghostbur gives tommy some blue to hand out, trying to be nicer to him anyway, like “give people this, it makes people happier if you give them something to drain the sadness”!! but when tommy tries to hand it out, it’s already fully blue. If asked if it was supposed to be transparent, or why it’s already blue, or etc, he responds with “no it's always been blue for me!” because when he’s given it, it turns blue instantly. maybe he seems little sad it doesn’t work on him, but it must be because he’s a ghost, right?

or

b) maybe he makes yellow that gives people happiness (it turns transparent as it’s used), but when he holds it it stays yellow.... because really all it does is draw up previous feelings of contentment, but... can't feel happy if you've never felt it before :’]

4. his body discovery

his body can be found where it was last... left. since he didn’t respawn.

They find him while cleaning up the rest of the rubble. and it's evident how he died, because there are wither marks, explosion burns, and... a final injury that must’ve been the killing blow, since there’s no way he would’ve survived that. it's evident he suffered, but not from the killing blow. his face has that... expression. he looks as miserable as his ghost does, at times (contrary to wilbur's exact opposite). maybe techno is there. they're not sure if tommy just got caught in the crossfire. they think he did, because he was buried under all of this. who would have ... intentionally done this to him...? while he was trapped?

maybe techno approaches to see what everyone looks so wicked out by. and he sees his brother or more like, what was left of his brother. oof.

5. Pranks: completely out of chronological order i guess... BUT I WANTED TO INCLUDE IT AAA

tommy isn’t... peaceful. he’s not at peace. he’s surrounded by the people who he can remember taunting him, hurting him, betraying him, all he can remember feeling is anger, grief and resentment - how long do you think he’ll play nice for? even though he wants things to go back to normal, either he feels like he’s much too dead for anything to ever be the same, and/or everyone ... moved on pretty quick, huh.

tommy begins to prank the server, like he used to. but there’s a pattern to it, and it quickly devolves from seemingly light-hearted to borderline malicious and definitely inconveniencing/annoying.

ghost tommy filling dream's current base/go-to-residency (since this man canonically homeless) with clay... and then, later, other blocks, like tnt, obsidian... 

he sets up multiple jukeboxes when dream goes to sleep and have them all play cat/melohi at different intervals at once, kind of like. "you wanted this so bad, now eat it”.

misplace sapnap's current pets (if he has any). fill sapnap's house with horses, cows all named "h" names, and eventually turn it into an elaborate aquarium filled with tropical fish.

George’s house gets scrambled: like the blocks all get swapped and stuff, or replaced with lime wool/clay. maybe fill his house with alarm clocks or something? idk

He's hesitant about techno... so one of his earlier steps is: collaborate with sam with the horse maze (who sees it as a bonding activity! fun for the whole family!), but in the books, on the last page of all the books, he writes notes like "you know what you did" and stuff idk, i gotta come up with 8 of those. at the end, skeppy brings back the books and the hornse and techno's like haha i didn't write those books! and skeppy says, that makes sense! why would your write this... (he assumes the first few are threats, but then they reference techno in diff ways, so he gets confused), and then techno's like: wait what

maybe he probably releases all the horses n cows and other things techno’s got. or relocates them (cause he still cares about animals, he doesn't want to hurt them... he's not sapnap after all)

at first it's funny, normal. then it's annoying. and then it becomes worrying. it elevates in destructive tendencies, and also escalates in amount so people start going "tommy this is so annoying"-> exactly the reaction he wants, so he continues -> "this isn't funny anymore, tommy!" well, it never was supposed to be :)

....and they realize suddenly that none of it was meant to be a "prank" or a joke, tommy genuinely was trying to make their lives as hard as they did him.

ALSO EDIT: i bring you: dreamon hunters! part two! tubbo n fundy fight over what to do with ghost tommy, as tubbo doesn't think there's anything wrong with tommy (it’s his best friend, of course nothing’s wrong!), while fundy thinks he's a malicious poltergeist (with all the pranks.... that’s... that’s not tommy. tommy isn’t that spiteful... is he? )

[legendofzelda4life]

Bows and Shadows

Day 6 (yall know the drill lmao)

Today, as requested, we have Vidow (vio/shadow) non-platonic angst (if it was platonic someone would die).

Hope ya’ll enjoy

TW: blood, murder

-----------------------------

The cool spring wind was nice as Vio and Shadow walked through the forest.

“Trust Blue to get us all split up.” Shadow laughed. “Yeah, right?!? He always gets us into trouble like I love him, but he’s a dumbass.” Vio said as he ducked under a tree branch. (Thats one low ass branch boi)

The pair had ended up in a forest, which was good because Shadow didn’t like the light. It burnt him.

It was also good because the two recognised the forest as the path leading the Shadow’s house. It was more a cave but it felt like home.

The boys didn’t walk much further before they were met with light. Vio refused to let shadow step into it and instead opted to walk across, grab a giant leaf and come back.

Shadow agreed. There was no getting past the protective boyfriend side of Vio.

Trust me, he’s tried.

Vio quickly ran across and grabbed a leaf before coming back.

He held it over Shadow and they walked across to the other side.

A foot or two into the shade, people stepped in front of them.

“Give us the shadow child.” They demanded. Vio stepped protectively in front of Shadow. “Don’t protect that demon! He’s wreaked havoc on our homes!”

Vio pulled out his bow with a smirk.

“Try me bitch. I’m not moving.”

Someone tried to step forward and Vio aimed his bow at them.

The arrows were laced with a natural tranquiliser called borage (its a strong natural sedative). Vio only used these on people because, unless they were evil, he didn’t want to actually hurt them. Juts give them an arrow wound and make them pass out.

“You wouldn’t dare.” They sneered.

Vio fired the arrow.

“Oh but I would.” He smiled devilishly before grabbing Shadow’s hand and pulling him away from the sun. “Now let us go.” Vio demanded.

“Give us the shadow child.” They said once more. “Vio, I don’t wanna go with them but you should leave.” Shadow whispered.

Vio sat down.

“If you’re waiting for that then get comfy, we’ll stay here for the next three days and you’ll all die.” He said, hugging Shadow as he pulled him into his own lap.

The people stood still, giving each other weird looks before one pulled out a sword.

“I suggest you don’t do that.” Vio said. He knew there was another person behind him with a sword too so he turned his head. “Put yours away too.”

The woman behind him looked taken aback as she re-sheathed her sword.

Vio then moved Shadow quickly out of his lap as an arrow fell where the boy was sitting.

“Dear the Goddesses you guys are impatient.” Vio said. He went to pull Shadow back down but looked up to see him being held by two people.

It was only then Vio remembered Shadow had no magic right now. If he did, he would’ve hidden in the darkness to escape.

“Give him back.” Vio stood up and unsheathed his own sword. “Why should we?” Somebody asked. He turned to see a man with a knife. Vio snarled.

“Because you guys are little snowflakes that couldn’t stand a fucking ten year old stealing from your village.” Vio spoke.

“He also took the village kids.”

“But me and three others came in and got them back. Stop crying.” Vio was getting more mad. It seemed Blue may or may not have rubbed off on the usually calm hero.

“V!” Shadow yelled. (mystic messenger who)

Vio looked up to see the people holding Shadow near the sun.

Without thinking he grabbed one of them by the throat and held his sword to it.

“Do it pussy.” Vio squeezed the man’s throat tighter. “Put him in the sun and watch as I kill you.” “You’ll be just as bad as him.” The man said, grabbing Vio’s hand, trying to pry it off his neck.

“Fine by me.”

He slit the mans throat and was immediately hit with a spray of blood.

“AHHH!!” Vio looked up to see Shadow in the sun.

“Shadow!” He turned towards the women keeping Shadow there. “I’ll kill you too!” He pointed his sword at the women.

Besides the two women, there was one other man. But he already ran off.

“Okay.” One of the women shrugged and got nudged by the other. “What? I’d rather die on good terms with this guy. Besides, he’s hot.” Vio could hear the taunting tone in her voice. She wasn’t serious, just trying to piss off Shadow.

Suddenly there was a loud crack.

The girls’ neck was broken and Shadow was breathing heavily, standing behind where she once was. Vio looked behind him to see the other girl was dead too.

“Vio.” Shadow sighed the name as he fell into his boyfriend’s arms. “If I die, promise to *dramatic grunt in pain* bury me upside down, and make Blue kiss my grave.” Vio giggled. “Why?” “I told him to kiss my ass *fake cough* and he said he would if I beat him *fake cough* now I don’t have to.” Shadow pretended to pass out so Vio dropped him.

“OW okay I am actually sore y’know.” “Sorry.”

*Squelch*

Shadow slumped to the floor, a dagger leaving his back. Vio looked up at the source but didn’t have time to process what they looked like before they were dead.

“Shadow! Fucking shit! What the FUCK!” Vio yelled as he dropped down to Shadow’s side.

Y’know it would kinda help if Shadow had a heartbeat in the first place.

“Sha! Sha, wake up! Please...” The boy didn’t move.

“How the fuck do I heal you?!?!” Vio wasn’t asking anybody. Just yelling.

He picked up Shadow and walked the few hundred metres to the boy’s house.

He raided the chest of stuff Shadow had.

“C’mon, c’mon, something to help Shadow... Anything!?” Vio was getting desperate until he found a bottle of dark grey potion.

It looked like if you put a normal health potion on a grey scale.

Vio opened it and poured it into Shadow’s mouth, marvelled as the wound healed.

“C’mon wake up...”

Shadow didn’t move.

“Please.” Vio sobbed, brushing Shadow’s hair away.

Two days later

Shadow still hadn’t awoken, or even moved for that matter. Each day his body faded more and more. Vio was getting worried. What if he just lost his boyfriend? His ally? His everything?!?

What would he do then?

He wouldn’t be able to look anyone in the eyes.

He pondered for hours, holding Shadow’s hand when he suddenly felt his hand get squeezed.

Suddenly Shadow began to move.

It started subtle, but then he rolled completely onto the floor.

“OH MY GODDESSES AM I DEAD!?!?!?” He yelled as he stood up. He sounded...

Scared?

Vio took Shadow’s hands into his.

“Shadow, you’re okay. You’re alive, I’m alive. You’re okay.”

“But I-” He got choked up. “I died, Vio. I got stabbed. I- I- Is this real?” He asked. Vio nodded. “Yes, it’s real. We’re at your house, you’re alive, and I missed you.” He said.

Shadow was quiet.

“VIO!” He yelled suddenly, taking the other boy into a hug. He started crying.

“Oh my goddesses, Vio. I thought I died. I thought I’d never see you again! I thought I was-” He sobbed into Vio’s shoulder.

“Gone.”

Vio left the ‘what-the-fuck-is-this-affection?’ phase and slowly hugged Shadow back.

“I wouldn’t let that happen.”

“Then why did you kill that man instead of helping me?” Shadow’s voice was distorted.

Vio woke up.

He looked to his left, where Shadow slept the past few days.

He was gone.

Shadow...

Was gone.

And it was all Vio’s fault.

“I should’ve grabbed you before those girls did.” Vio cried, laying his head on Shadow’s bed. “Why was I so stupid?!?” He threw his hat across the room in anger and dropped to his knees, clutching his shirt where his heart is.

“Why Shadow...?”

“Why you and not me?”

END

---------------------------------

Okay I know I said no one would die but like...

Yeah.

I hope you guys enjoyed and didn’t cry.

The og plan was that Blue would kill Shadow and Vio would resent him but nah.

LEAVE REQUESTS BELOW!

REQUETS MUST INCLUDE: PAIRING TYPE/GENRE/CATEGORY (fluff, angst, etc) PLATONIC OR NOT

I WILL WRITE ONLY ABOUT THE LINKS (including the ravio, shadow, and requested characters. Will not write about whole other fandoms though)

I CAN DO READER INSERTS IF REQUESTED (no oc’s tho)

[eyeslikefoxglove]

Episode 21 - The PTSD is strong with this one & we need more braincells

Hello hello! Welcome to the commentary. How’s everyone? I’m frozen solid because it’s mid-June in Spain and yet we had 11°C yesterday. Fucking awesome!

I AM NOT WEARING MASCARA SO I CAN CRY ALL I WANT. I DONT KNOW IF THATS GOOD OR BAD THO.

Can I just take a second to appreciate how much this big strong powerful men emote? I mean, I know this isn’t western media where the tough guy can’t show emotions, and I don’t know that eastern media has the same hangups about men emoting but just... it’s so refreshing.

Huaisang bb you’re so sweet.

Oh, oh the PTSD is strong with this one.

Also, bless both JC and NHS, they absolutely noticed WWX flinch and, in their own ways, went and steamrolled over it so WWX wouldn’t feel scrutinised.

WE INTERRUPT THIS BROADCAST TO INFORM YALL THAT I GOT A KITTEN ON MY LAP. (She’s kneading my boob, which, ow, but...)

*BICHEN GRIIIIIIIP*

How do y’all think the guards go deliver bad news to WRH? Like do they paper-rock-scissor it? Draw straws?

NMJ did you have to?

And once again I wonder what would’ve happened if JFM had let sect leader Yao kick it.

Ughvhfnevus it’s this clown. Same as with Su She, if you see a bunch of screaming it’s just me not wanting to listen to Jin ZiXun.

The Nies: let’s throw a banquet to honour WWX’s return

Every asshole there: *gossips about WWX while in the room with him*

Once again I wish I could transmigrate (and speak mandarin lol) and just start delivering tongue lashings.

Listen, I have no idea how to play Guqin, but I did play the guitar for years and even from here I can see how much YiBo’s hands don’t match the melody. Nothing against him but why does this always happen? I know they got classes, so was the music not written by that time or something? Because one thing is not hitting the correct notes, another is plucking slow notes when the tempo is much faster.

JC: Since yours and LWJ’s unhappy separation...

My dumbass: do you mean breakup? *eyebrow waggle*

You will pry my “JC knows his brother is pinning after LWJ, he probably doesn’t want to know anything else” hc out of my cold dead hands thankyouverymuch.

WWX: *spouts a bunch of misdirection to avoid giving JC a straight answer*

JC: Bull-fucking-shit.

Should I count how many times WWX PTSDs all over the place or would you like me to leave your hearts intact? That’s two so far.

Ok ok, I feel that, if someone with a bit less trauma and a bit of insight (NHS maybe?) had seen the bit where ChenQing fucking hurts Shijie thing would’ve gone differently. I mean, yes, LWJ keeps warning WWX that this shit is gonna fuck him up, but as I said in my previous commentary LWJ also has the communication skills of a hermit crab so that wouldn’t work, and JC would be too wound up and WWX too busy trying to conceal his lack of golden core for that conversation to go anywhere. But if someone who WWX knows is a good egg (I’m not gonna say trusts bc paranoia) had sat him down and told him “your new instrument that you use for your new form of cultivation just hurt the person you love most please be careful when you use it.” I think it would’ve worked wonders towards his health overall.

I know Shijie says it’s like Zidian, but she’s not working with the fact that this thing is made for and by the Dark Side of the Force and I’m sorry but I can’t help but see ChenQing as a bit of a horrocrux almost. Or like, if you like me think the Burial Mounds is an Entity, something that’s a bit more sentient that it lets on.

Speaking of reputations and NHS being a good egg, I have oh-so-many ideas (I won’t say plot bunnies because I can’t write for shit) in which NHS for Reasons (time-travel? Letter from the future? His massive brain?) realises just how much damage WWX is doing to his public image. And he might be a sheltered dandy, but he saw what being the son of a sex worker did to Meng Yao despite how hard he worked (I’m assuming he doesn’t know about the whole betrayal business). This is way fucking worse, like hell is he going to let one of his best friends paint a target on his back. So he pulls back his sleeves, engages his slytherin brain and proceeds to lay down a plan to throughly destroy WWX’s reputation as a powerful genius.

I’m guessing LWJ and JC protest, and maybe WWX, and NHS just hits them with “do you want him respected or alive?” And they shut tf up. He glues himself to WWX, and brings up as many instances in which their behaviour can be compared as he can (we got drunk and punished at cloud recesses, we slept in class, we skipped to go fishing, I don’t carry my sword either). And, because assholes be assholes, people like Sect Leader Yao or Clown Cousin are quick to start spouting their own derogatory bullshit and thus WWX the untamed powerful prodigy dies a fiery death. Now he’s just a mouthy kid with a quick mind that “does tricks instead of battle” (I’ll never get bored of using that Thor quote). I also like to think that people who personally know WWX and are not pieces of shit go give NHS a tongue lashing for messing with what they thought was his friend, NHS takes that as a test of good eggness and bring them into the plan. Soon the whole Cloud Recesses class is swearing up, down, left, right and centre that all the shit WWX has ever successfully pulled is just an insane amount of luck and quick thinking.

I don’t know how would they work him into the battlefield (disguise? Mask?) to unleash his demonic cultivation but that’s Plot and I don’t do that.

Also, because I’m a terrible human being I want to say that people assume LWJ is on “pretty but useless” WWX like white on rice because *insert derogatory comment about being good in bed and sexual favours*. Because y’all know the assholes here are Like That. And WWX is horrified because holy fucking shit he’s gonna drag LWJ’s reputation down, he can’t have people thinking HGJ is ok with having him as a concubine pretty much. But before he can act LWJ politely all but confirms that yeah, he’s tapping that, y’all wish you were but he doesn’t share and none of y’all are good enough for his Wei Ying anyway. CUE FAKE/PRETEND RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE I AM INDEED TRASH FOR THAT TROPE.

Muahahahaha y’all thought I was gonna devolve into my personal hcs and not include my fave trope? Shouldn’t y’all know me better by now?

(Btw I like this bit ^ so I might polish it a little and post it separately as well, just a warning if you find yourself reading an eerily similar post by me)

WuJi is playing and LWJ is pining so much. Also, if LWJ did not just realise that, just like Yu the Great, WWX had no other option but tame resentful energy I’ll eat my blanket.

I refuse to believe Jiang Yanli didn’t become the unofficial war camp therapist/sounding board/only sane person/everyone’s mum/I just need a hug and a corner to cry in peace. There are not enough fics about Shijie being her gentle BAMF self while in the camp and it’s a pity. My crops are dying y’all!

Also, I will fight anyone who scoffs at Shijie being the epitome of the “gentle woman who cooks and waits for the men to come back from war”. Look at her mum, do you think it is easy for a kid (she was a kid in the flashback when WWX ran away) to see that day in and day out, to have that as a “role model” and decide that she was not going to be like her mum? That she didn’t like what she saw in her so she was going to be kind and gentle? And do you think it is easy for a person barely in their twenties to deal with years of verbal and psychological abuse for again, being gentle and kind, and not grow a hard shell of bitterness to protect themselves? And to keep being gentle and kind while at war, with your parents dead and your siblings unraveling before your very eyes? Shijie is so fucking strong and I love her.

Hey look, the White Walkers!

“Resentful energy is just energy” ok, valid. But my dude, you’ve got black ghost smoke coming out of you and can hear people screaming in your head. I’m not saying it is evil, like someone’s uptight set in his ways arrogant uncle; but it sure as shit ain’t healthy.

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH (that’s a Clown Cousin scream btw)

Ok ok, just one little thing: IF SOMEONE ELSE CALLS WWX WEI YING AS A SHOW OF DISRESPECT IMMA SCALP THEM.

...are those crows eating that man alive? Yikes on bikes.

(Assume my comment about YiBo’s Guqin playing also goes for Xiao Zhan and his flute. I can’t play the flute but the tempo doesn’t match his fingers)

I’m just gonna say it, I think 3zun (well, 2zun as of now) suspect shit went down badly for WWX, that’s two questions by both of them in a very soft conciliatory tone. They are genuinely interested/worried about the topic, and don’t seem to come off as chiding or judgemental. I mean WWX is a weirdo irreverent kid and they’re sect leaders, they outrank him so much it’s ridiculous. I’m also counting the fact that both their baby brothers like him towards them being so kind. But I also think WWX just triggers all their big brother instincts the second he walks in.

Oh there’s a thought, Shijie, Wen Qing, NMJ and LXC take a look at everyone’s shitty parents and just decide to adopt everyone.

What happened at Yiling was a traumatised teenager (is WWX even 20?) PTSDing all over the place with the Dark Side of the Force whispering in his ear and an all powerful trinket at his disposal. Not saying I approve of all the torture and murder but he clearly isn’t revelling in them.

That is some outstanding bit of big-brothering on LXC’s side and I love it. Also, my dumbass just realised LWJ probably wasn’t quoting WWX when he was being punished (what is white what is black?) I think he was quoting his big brother. Which is magnitudes deep too, but in a different direction and I might love that scene even more.

Ok fuck it, I’m gonna tangent. So I had a terrible boyfriend when I was 15-18. He alienated me from my friends, sunk my self-esteem to the molten core of the earth, tried to convince me my parents were abusive and encouraged (aka threatened manipulated and cajoled) the slow tanking of my high school marks. I have A Problem when I see media where someone latches onto their significant other and everything they are shifts towards that person. Now, love, true genuine love, is powerful, and I believe it can be the catalyst for shifting your world-view for the better. I don’t have a problem with that. I don’t have a problem with people sticking with their romantic partner if it is clear their previous “family” is so much shit. I don’t have a problem with LWJ coming out of his shell and defying corrupt precepts because his love for WWX made them see they were wrong, or getting sassy and unrepentant during his punishment (I have a problem with the punishment bc that’s abuse but...). But I do side-eye WangXian being the only thing in their orbit. People need people, and WangXian have other good people around them. So I kind of love that yes, WWX showed him the system was corrupt, but it is the words of his brother he is sticking by to the defy said system.

Let’s go back to our scheduled slew of held pinning glances shall we?

LXC after That awkward run-in: WangJi I wasn’t gone that long, what the fuck did you two oblivious pining idiots do?

(LXC has “bitching” tea sessions with Shijie and you can’t convince me otherwise)

LWJ: *is being dramatic and not knocking on WWX’s door*

Me: oh my god you fucking idiot

Shijie: *walks in*

Me: oh thank god someone with a braincell.

Ah yes, there we go triggering WWX’s paranoia again. Why would he get a break.

OH MY GOD YOU PAIR OF FUCKING IDIOTS. THATS IT, FUCK THIS SHIT IM OUT.

@ LWJ: bitch wtf was that? I know you’re shit at talking but have you thought about writing it down? Letters anyone? It worked for mr. Darcy.

(Yes LWJ is mr darcy and now I want an au where LWJ writes WWX letters and just pours everything in them, WWX finds them, any everything is sunshine and rainbows)

While this bullshit fight/misunderstanding is all on LWJ’s shoulders, I’m also going to scream at WWX. Because yes, he is in PTSD hell, but he trusted LWJ before, and yet he can’t get past his perceived notion of LWJ’s character (and his own inadequacies) to trust him again and ask for help. Plus, you know, he thinks he doesn’t deserve he’ll bc *waves hand at WWX’s trauma conga line*

These episodes can’t be good for my BP.

Thanks for reading!

[lveclouds]

summary: the moon was a constant presence in your life, and it came in the form of choi youngjae, a gorgeous guy with an equally gorgeous smile, and while your lives were intertwined for a time, he suddenly vanished, leaving you with questions. you felt incomplete without the moon in your life, so when would he come back?

"there's a person i want to sing a love song for, looking at the stars in the night sky." - star 1117 (ateez)

a/n: my got7 drabble that was actually supposed to be posted before the mark one, but i had a sudden burst of inspiration for it, and thus that drabble was written before this oops- anyways, i'm sorry that this was more of an angsty drabble jdkjfjd i didn't plan for it to be that way but it just happened? i guess it was also because i was listening to sad ass music while writing this lmao and yes i have a summary for this too hehe

genre: non idol! au, college/university au (kinda), heavy angst (oops) , some fluff? (its mostly at the beginning) 

word count: 1.6k 

paring: music major youngjae x reader 

your first encounter with youngjae was quite ordinary, to say the least. he showed up late to your music theory class, brown hair messy and windblown, pale cheeks slightly red from the chilly air outside, a small smile on his face. your professor, a middle aged woman with dark hair and a stern expression, seemed to be in better spirits as soon as youngjae walked into the room, the corners of her lips curving into a rare smile. "i'm sorry i'm late, miss, traffic was terrible on the way to campus, and my mom needed help with something, and-" the professor cut him off with a a shake of her head. "no need to apologize, youngjae. just take a seat next to y/n." he nodded, looking a bit shocked that she hadn't scolded him, for your professor was a stickler for being on time, yet she let him off the hook, almost immediately. youngjae practically scrambled to sit in the empty chair next to you, quickly getting out his notebook and a pen, jotting down notes. you hid a smile at how adorable he was, and tried to focus on the lecture. you had seen youngjae around campus a few times, always smiling and cheerful, and you had always wondered if there was more to him, if there was more behind that gorgeous smile of his.

after that day, you had mustered up the courage to talk to him, despite being quite hesitant at first, since you were pretty anti-social and rarely talked to anyone on campus unless you had to. when you approached him after a particularly confusing lecture on the brain, he looked up at you from the book he was reading, gorgeous brown eyes widening in surprise. "h-hi." you said, fidgeting with the hem of your oversized hoodie. "i'm y/n. i've seen you around campus and i've wanted to talk to you, but uh, i guess i was way too shy to initiate a conversation?"

youngjae's face broke out into that gorgeous smile you were so used to seeing, perfect white teeth on display, and your heart nearly melted at the sight. "oh, well, in that case, hi, i'm youngjae. i've also seen you around campus, and i was also nervous to approach you. you're gorgeous and so i wasn't sure if you would want to be seen talking to someone like me."

a light shade of pink settled across his cheekbones, and you fought the urge to smile. "ah, you flatter me, honestly. i'm very much a wallflower, so me initiating a conversation with someone is quite rare." "should i be honored, then?" he teased, eyes twinkling with mirth. you finally allowed yourself a small smile. "i guess so, youngjae." from there, an unlikely friendship started, and over time, it soon blossomed into a relationship that you thought would last, at least, for a while. and, it did. the first few months were amazing and you felt as if you were in a fairy tale of sorts, for youngjae treated you like royalty, always going out of his way to sweep you off your feet with romantic and sweet gestures that always touched your heart. you were falling for him, hook, line, and sinker, and you felt as if you were in a dream-like state whenever you were with him.

little did you know that he would leave you, out of the blue, without even saying goodbye. you remembered the day vividly. it was a warm, sunny day in june, and the sky was void of clouds, an endless expanse of blue. it was ironic, to say the least, he had ripped your heart out on such a beautiful summer day. you were waiting for him at your usual meeting spot, which was under an oak tree at the local park, which had been a location for many of your dates, dressed in a white, flowy blouse and cut off denim shorts, along with your favorite pair of black converse, your hair loose and wavy. you had been in a good mood that day, as you had found out that your older sister was getting married, and you were eager to share the news with youngjae. you leaned back against the rough bark of the tree, humming softly to yourself. eventually, thirty minutes passed, and you were starting to get a bit worried. what if something had happened to him on the way? you thought, and immediately scolded yourself for thinking of such a scenario. then, just as you were about to go into panic mode, you saw a familiar figure running towards you. it was yugyeom, one of youngjae's closest friends, dressed in a light cream sweater, blond hair slightly messy and unruly, a tense expression on his face. "yugyeom? what are you doing here?" you asked, allowing him to catch his breath.  "it's youngjae hyung." "what about him? has something happened?" yugyeom grimaced. "uh, well, i don't think he's going to be able to come to your date today." "oh, well, is everything ok?" "i-i don't know. i went to his house earlier to pick up coco, because he wanted me to watch her, and he wasn't there. his car wasn't in the driveway, so i figured he had already left to meet you. but, when i went to unlock the door, it wasn't locked at all, which is weird, because youngjae hyung always locks the door before he leaves, and when i went into his house, most of his belongings were gone, including coco. everything was gone. it was like he vanished, out of thin air or something. you felt a surge of anger and sadness wash over you. "what? so he just left? without saying goodbye?" yugyeom laughed nervously. "uhm yes?" you took a deep breath, holding back tears. "yugyeom, is it ok if i stay at your place for a while? i don't think i can go home, not after this." "of course, we can drop by and get your stuff if you want." you nodded, forcing yourself to give him a smile. "yes, thank you. and i'm sorry for practically inviting myself over, i just-" yugyeom shook his head. "it's ok y/n. i would do the same if i were you. i wouldn't want to be by myself." you smiled gratefully at him before following him to his car, heart heavy.

that night, you had cried your eyes out, and yugyeom and his best friend, bambam, had pulled you into a hug, rubbing comforting circles on your back as you sobbed. you couldn't believe that youngjae, the one guy you thought you could trust, had up and left, without saying goodbye, nor an explanation. he didn't even leave a note, for gods sake, you thought. months passed, and despite you trying to resent youngjae, you couldn't bring yourself too. he must've had his reasons, you thought. but, how could he leave me without saying anything? and on the day of our anniversary? you had seethed for a while, but eventually got tired of wasting your anger.

and to try and remember him, in a way, every night, you went out on the balcony of the guest room you were staying in, looking up at the obsidian sky, admiring the sparkling stars and the soft glow of the moon, your heart aching. to you, youngjae's presence in your life was like the moon, ever present, glowing, and peaceful. youngjae's smiles resembled that of the sun, and yet he was like the moon, mysterious and beautiful. while he was open with you, he tended to put up a wall around those he didn't know. you were often entranced by him, and when he had serenaded you on your first date, you had felt tears spring to your eyes, as you had felt the emotion and meaning of the sweet and somewhat melancholy lyrics of the song. you sighed as you stared up at the moon, glowing brightly against the dark night sky, illuminating the world in a soft, silver light. while part of you wanted to resent youngjae for leaving you, another part of you still loved him, with all your heart. and so, you would wait for him, no matter how long it took, even if meant waiting years.

a/n: i didn't mean to make it this angsty dfjdjkjfg anyways i hope you all still liked this despite the angst i'm very excited about my upcoming bts drabbles, as one of them is a atla au and another is based off the drama goblin! keep an eye on my wips page, as i will be updating it! thank you to everyone who has supported me and my writing, yall are the best and i do not deserve all of your sweet words and unconditional support 🥺

tagging: @taeramisu​ @yongcherie​ 

[liquid-geodes]

ITS TIME TO BE PETTY

(And teach yall about basic human relations and decency)

[Also tons of trigger warnings in the tags but also: mentions of suicide baiting, manipulation, and trauma. Stay safe yall]

So throwback to freshman year of high school when a close and trusted friend of mine KNEW someone was going to suicide bait me MONTHS in advance AND LET THEM because he was still salty that I didnt pick up on his VERY subtle idea of flirting which was, get this, in his own words: "being a lot nicer than usual"

Let that whole thing sink in. This dude who I've been friends with for YEARS would rather let me be manipulated, traumatized, and potentially end up DEAD because I didnt know he liked me romantically because HE NEVER TOLD ME and he was just BEING NICER THAN USUAL

So now this is the part where you're all gonna learn a thing or two or a few about basic human decency and relations:

Dont ever suicide bait someone for your own enjoyment. Don't suicide bait someone EVER. Like seriously you guys, what the actual fuck is wrong with you? I shouldn't have to explain this one.

Don't manipulate anyone in ANY way. That means, emotionally, mentally, dont fucking do it.

If you KNOW someone is going to suicide bait your friend or ANYONE because the person told you in advance, FUCKING STOP THEM. Again I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN THIS ONE. Tell a fucking adult, tell the person being targeted to drop the abuser, most importantly DON'T BE THE ASSHOLE SUICIDE BAITING PEOPLE??? HELLO??

Being nice to someone doesnt equal flirting. Idk how to tell you guys this, but you should be nice to people ALWAYS and not just when you're romantically interested in them. If you like someone, just tell them, or don't, that's your decision to make, but don't get mad at them for never picking up on your feelings because you failed to communicate them. Like seriously NO ONE likes that indirect shit and being nice literally isnt flirting, you just look like the asshole who thought they were wronged because being a decent human being wasnt getting you a significant other.

If someone doesnt want to date you, take the L and move on. You have NO RIGHT TO BE MAD if they say they arent interested. And folks out there: YOURE ALLOWED TO SAY NO TO PEOPLE. But like seriously, dont get pissy and resentful towards someone just because they arent interested. They probably just dodged a bullet with you anyway. Just take the L and go. (Obviously it should be implied that when you say you're not interested you dont be an asshole about it either BUT this is tumblr so I'll say it outright for you)

Now do you guys see how in the numbered list of points you should learn that I never specified a gender for the abuser?? That's because EVERY needs to learn this. Just because in my specific case it was a guy being the abuser in both positions does NOT mean all guys are going to or that ONLY guys are capable of doing so. EVERYONE should be a decent human being, but not everyone chooses to be. Any person of any gender or lack thereof is capable of being an abuser, and it REALLY can be for a reason as stupid as "they were mad" or "they wanted to see if they could actually make you do it".

And I IMPLORE you people out there who are unfortunately going through anything like this to reach out to someone, because you never know who might be out there who understands what you're going through and can help make it easier to heal.

But anyways I'm going to be petty about this for the rest of my life because as more time passes I realize that holy shit you guys what the fuck I'm baffled by this. Youd let your friend get hurt because you got your feelings hurt they never dated you because you never told them about your feelings.

Like I know I'm a clown for still missing that person sometimes, but he was the whole damn circus I cannot BELIEVE-

[eye-raq]

Daddy’s Home Pt.1: The Pull UP

Okay so ya’ll gonna trip off of this one HERE. Thanks to my girl @hdkween I had to do it man i had to!!!!!!

Summary: Erik serves seven years of his ten year sentence, getting out on good behavior to finally teach his girl who left him almost four years ago a lesson (A NASTY LESSON) *tehee*

WARNINGS: SMUT (18+) This is long, and nasty, and just badddd yall.  If I haven’t tagged you please let my ass know because everytime i make a tag list i loose it lmao!

Mariposa County Jail.

That’s where she visited now. From her understanding, it was very strict. She got a further warning from her good friend Brianna, who had an ex-boyfriend there that she visited often.

“Girlllll, I'm just gonna warn you now, you can forget all the treats you could sneak in at the other jail, and paying off some of those crooked officers to fuck in the bathroom, NOPE. No bending the rules or you’ll be staying there too.”

Upon arrival there, Callie couldn’t even park and leave her 2015 Infiniti Q50 without some correctional officers approaching her vehicle to check it. She clutched her Pink tote bag, an attitude etched within her pretty brown features as she watched them attack her car, never missing an inch of space. After about ten minutes, they finally lifted from her vehicle, turning to escort her into the Institution.

It seemed they really wanted to be cautious, because now Callie had to go through a metal detector, also having to send her bag down the conveyor belt to get checked by a women correctional officer. Callie was used to this part, having to be searched before she entered, but not as extensive as her car.

She even received instructions before coming here to not wear similar colors that resemble that of the inmates. They wore blue from head to toe, so she wore an all black Pink tracksuit with her curly hair up in a simple top knot bun. After going through check out, Callie had to sign some forms, handing over her ID, stating her name, and date of birth.

“Callie Demetria Carter, 4/4/90.”

“Visiting?” The boring officer asked, his eyes never leaving the papers in front of him, the balding patch of thin hair on his pale head giving her a view she would normally laugh at if it wasn’t for her already overgrowing irritation.

“Erik Stevens.” Erik Stevens, graduate at MIT who took on the job as a hacker instead of an engineer.

At that the officer went to pull out a stack of visitors lists, finally finding Erik’s, scanning to see. Callie had always been curious to know who else visited Erik, her eyes staring through the thick panel of glass, squinting them to make out more than one name scribbled there.

“Alright, let's go. Leave all personal belongings here, and follow these few officers through that door to the phone room.”

Callie never had to visit Erik in a phone room. She always came to see him at the other institution in a wide open room where all inmates came to see their visitors whether it be friends, family, or even enemies. Callie tried to block out the image of the one visitor who sat next to her, the prisoner stabbing their neck repeatedly, before doing the same to themselves. Callie had nightmares about that for nearly a two months.

Finally lifting from the chair, Callie walked empty-handed as she allowed the slow swinging doors to close. It was a long dimly lit hallway, the sounds of her vans walking across the shiny hardwood flooring that had the smell of pine sol wafting from it. She gripped the zipper of her tracksuit hoodie tightly, her expression hardened.

Callie avoided her last visit to see Erik for reasons she didn’t want to bring up. She supposed Erik needed time to adjust here as well because he had transferred to this Institution for his own safety. Erik literally owned the last prison he stayed in called San Quentin State Prison. Erik had the warden and the correctional officers eating out the palm of his hand, he even had his own cell in a secluded area of the prison from the other inmates. That alone earned a lot of hate and jealousy towards him.

Callie remembers visiting Erik in the earlier stages of his arrest, face bruised purple and red from fighting, he even walked out with his orange jumpsuit undone, a bandage on his broad chest from an attempt stabbing in the courtyard:

“E! What the fuck?!” Callie wanted to cry.

“Aye! I told you, I got this. Don’t go wasting your tears on me. You got the weed right?” Callie’s somber expression turned to that of annoyance as she pulled out the plastic bag full of kush, his special kush that he smoked in jail to keep him level headed, especially if he planned on getting out on good behavior.

“Thanks, baby, you like my little Bonnie, always holding me down.”

Callie’s attention was brought back to the present as the doors to the phone room opened, revealing a long stainless steel counter sealed off by a thick pane of glass separated by a wall between each visiting area, a rusty black phone for the visitor and the prisoner to use, and hard plastic chairs. From the way this was set up, there would be no more weed for Erik and no more quick sex sessions. Callie finally takes her seat at the instructed area, pulling her chair close and pressing her elbows firm on the counter in front of her. As if on cue, the correctional officer on the other side of the glass opened the door, a buzz sounding out as awe transformed her face.

There, standing at 6’3 220 lbs with little beady beads in his hair, unkempt facial hair, and crisp blue pants with a matching top was Erik himself. Callie felt a blush creep up her face, all of the memories with this man flooding her brain again, giving the wicked imagery that she wasn’t prepared for. Adjusting herself in her seat, Callie clears her throat, trying her best to stare into the eyes of her incarcerated boyfriend, clear resentment festering within him. Callie couldn’t lie, she felt fear in her belly, even through the thick glass. Erik kicks back the chair, settling with a loud thump of the chains around his wrists, body slouched and eyes cold with fury. Callie took a chance to look around her, nerves a damn wreck before picking up the dirty phone, bringing it to her ear slowly. She motioned with a lift of her chin for Erik to pick up his phone, watching him snatch it up with so much aggression, fear churned in her stomach.

Callie could hear him breathing, his chest from what she could see rapidly moving as if he were suffocating on his rage.

“Hi E, how you been baby?” Callie licked at her dry lips. She waited for him to respond for what felt like a minute, the fingers on his right hand tapping at the counter deathly slow.

“I heard some things.” That's all he had to say to her, no hi princess, no wassup baby girl, no you miss me, just THAT. Callie felt disrespected, the number of times she would visit his ungrateful ass, and that’s all he had to say.

“Oh? So no hi how are you? No hey baby girl, wassup love, nothing?” She grimaced.

“Are you gonna confirm what I heard?” he gave her a dirty look with a shrug of his shoulders.

“I’ll entertain your rude ass since that’s what you clearly want me to do.” Callie seemed to have forgotten how aggravating her boyfriend could be.

“Word on the street is, my girl entertaining some other nigga.” Callie’s expression closed up, her fingers fidgeting while her eyes landed on a vein popping out the side of his neck.

“Wassup? You can’t speak?” Erik whispers with rage, his jaw tight and eyes bloodshot. He leans closer, his face almost pressing against the glass.

“It ain’t even like that.” She felt small. Callie felt like everyone in that room could hear what was going on.

“It ain’t even like that huh?! From my understanding, you let this nigga into my place, fucked this nigga in my bed?” He laughs.

“Erik chill out. I came all this way to see you.” She started to feel her anger stab at her brain.

“I’m finna break this MOTHERFUCKING glass.” Erik brings a single finger to the glass, stabbing it.

“I’m growing hella tired of the games Callie. You wanna stop with all that playing and tell me what’s really going on?” Callie’s leg fidgeted under the table, her eyes closed. She was afraid to even tell him anything from the reaction she was receiving right now.

“Fine! I met someone.” Callie nibbles on her fingers, her eyes wavering. He just sat there, immobilized with fury, his eyes deranged and a look as if he’d been slapped.

“You wanna run that shit by me again?!” The spit from his mouth hit the glass.

“I-I met a guy, his name is Lamont. We hung out a few times, and I invited him over. We kissed and he felt me up a little but that’s it! That’s all I didn’t let him hit I sware on my life!” Callie fucked up, she knew she fucked up. Erik had friends in AND out of jail. Callie briefly wondered besides his lawyer, were there others who would report things to him? She felt stupid.

“You stupid or what? You really thought you could fuck with another nigga while I was away? Especially since you’re MINES. What you thought I wasn’t gonna find out? I can’t believe your little simple ass.” He could taste the blood on his tongue from his rage. Erik pounded his fist on the counter, causing one of the correctional officers to approach behind him.

Callie rubbed angrily at her face, tears that she didn’t want nor needed, falling. She put up with Erik’s jailbird ass long enough, four years in jail to be exact. Callie had a lot going for herself, a college degree in Health Science, a great job with benefits and a salary wage, she wanted to feel guilty, but why should she? Erik landed himself in jail for credit fraud on multiple counts for some stupid job she warned him not to take, now he was serving seven to ten years behind bars.

“Fuck this, I don’t feel sorry about shit,” Callie yells, her limbs shaking.

“So you don’t feel sorry for getting with some clown while I’m in jail!!!?” Erik yells back into the phone.

“No, I don’t E. I feel like I deserve more than this arrangement we have going on.” Callie could see the hurt in his eyes, his nostrils flaring.

“What this punk nigga got that I don’t have?!” Erik smirks deviously then, his eyes low and predatory.

“Freedom.” Callie couldn’t believe she just said that.

“What a FUCKING SHAME. That’s all? Just freedom?”

“Freedom is better than dick Erik. Dick that you can’t sling behind bars.” Callie was on a roll. Did she know that from her words, she dug a deeper hole with Erik, but so? What could he do right? He was away for seven to ten years, by the time he got out she could be somewhere overseas living it up.

“You feel real tough on the other side of that glass. I’m giving you this one fucking warning Callie, DROP THAT NIGGA. Don’t look at him, don’t speak to him, don’t even breathe the same air as him.” with every word he spoke, he poked the glass so hard it shook.

“Erik, I’m tired of this shit. I’m sick of you trying to control me, I’m sick of coming up here with the same damn routine to see your sour ass, I’m TIRED! I’m fucking tired E.” Her eyes almost left her sockets as she spoke the words she’d been feeling for a while. Callie didn’t deserve this kind of lifestyle because of his mistakes.

“So WHAT?! You fucking leaving me?! What kind of girl of mines you supposed to be if you leaving me HUH?! Gon’ fucking dip out on me after all the shit I did for your ass. If the tables were turned you think I would do you dirty like this?! I can tell you now I WOULDN’T.” His voice was at its highest peak now, so deep and thunderous it earned the attention of practically everyone in that room.

“You are embarrassing right now! Calm your big ass down! You want the whole world to know our business?!!.” Callie scoots her seat back, lifting from her chair.

“Who the FUCK told you to exit! Were not fucking done Callie! I swear on EVERYTHING.”

“What?! Last time I checked I’m over here and YOUR over there!” Callie rolls her eyes at him, turning to leave with a middle finger to the sky.

Erik stands from his chair frantically, causing it to fall to the floor loudly. He snarls, nodding his head, pointing a warning finger to her retreating back as the officers lead her away.

“I’ll see you and that bitch ass NIGGA on the outside bruh!!!!!!” He felt the firm grip of the officers on his arms, causing him to laugh.

“Ain’t shit going on with me I’m GOOD.” Erik shakes them off. All he could see was her walking down that hallway, not even a backward glance.

“IT’S COOL BABY GIRL KEEP THAT SAME ENERGY WHEN I GET OUT!” Erik rubs at his nose, blinking his eyes rapidly while his fists clenched.

“Go ahead and bounce then Callie since you leaving.” He could feel his chains being pulled, his hurt face turning away from her blurred body as the officers lead him back to his shared cell.

Present Day: January 2019.

“Hey, Stevens!”

There were about four correctional officers headed towards his cell, the one leading the way going by the name of Johnson. All of them were big and intimidating, but none compared to Erik himself.

Standing at 6’3 246 lbs of thick muscle, body littered in tiny raised scars that represented each day he resided behind bars, skin a deep almond, hair in wild dreads that sat atop his head with a sharp temp-fade around the sides, bringing in the strong features that consisted of a broad nose, sharp brown eyes, wide lips that drew back into a snarl from the pull-ups he was currently doing, dark messy eyebrows, and teeth littered in gold.

“It’s showtime! Grab your stuff, were escorting you out.”

Erik drops down with a loud thud of his faded Timberlands against the smooth concrete of his cell, waking up his cellmate, causing him to groan. Erik gives Johnson a once over with his eyes, and a wicked smile before adjusting the drawstring to his pants, the fabric almost slipping from his waist to pool around his feet.

“It’s that time already Johnson? I thought my good behavior release didn’t start till next week on Wednesday?” Erik turns his chiseled back on Johnson and the others standing on the other side of his cell bars, walking over to his untidy bed, grabbing up the duffle he had already packed with some gear he definitely couldn’t fit anymore, throwing it over his shoulder.

“Where’s your shirt?” Johnson asked with annoyance.

“What’s the weather?” Erik looked up at the tiny window on the ceiling, the sun peeking through, staining his scared shoulders.

“It’s about 75 degrees.” Erik scuffs, pulling out a white long sleeve henley, throwing it on quick before walking up to the gate. Johnson begins to unlock it, Erik’s heart practically banging against his solid chest from how relieved he was to finally leave that shit hole. He served seven years of his sentence, SEVEN. He knew his lawyer would look out for him, the sexy bitch finally getting what she always wanted. The day Erik found out about his good behavior leave, his lawyer by the name of Marcia Grey requested to see him in private. Erik confused out of his mind showed up within that room to find Marcia in a tight nude bodycon skirt, with her white blouse undone giving him a full on view of her ample cleavage that begged to fall into his mouth. How many years has it been? Three years and eleven months since he had pussy? That’s about 1452 days. When he and Callie were together, they always had an arrangement of sex the four years before that, but since she called things off, Erik was left to beating his meat in hopes that the other prisoners couldn’t hear him.

Marcia made her intentions clear with Erik, that she wanted to fuck him in return for getting him his good behavior release. Erik didn’t have to be told twice, he lifted her up by the back of her thighs and fucked her a good two times, getting his nut in on that hard ass table. That was at least three months ago, now he really needed it craved it, and the only person to deliver that was Callie herself.

Callie Demetria Carter.

Could be Callie Demetria Stevens, She was lucky Erik loved her ass. He took his anger out on lifting weights, and punching bags, sometimes even racist prisoners who rubbed him the wrong way.

All that thinking, Erik hadn’t realized that the exit was inches away from him, the fresh air wafting his nose. FINALLY, no more smelling his cellmates shit in the middle of the night, no more quick showers because he wanted to avoid the homosexual prisoners who already gave him a look that made him want to break their faces in two, no more filling up on stale bread and ramen noodle hookups with tuna fish and eggs, and no more being pushed around by the crooked ass correctional officers.

Erik watched as Johnson opened the final gate to freedom, a car waiting for him ahead, HIS car, a 2018 NSX in electric blue.

“That’s you?!” Johnson was astonished.

“I might have been behind bars, but that doesn’t mean I ain’t got bank.”

Erik didn’t give a final farewell, walking up to his car, his good friend since childhood named Kendrick walking up to dab him up excitedly.

“Yee wassup big homie!” Kendrick pats Erik’s back.

“What’s good bro, YO, thanks for looking out for me while I was away, I owe you one big time.”

“That’s what friends are for right? You’re my nigga, of course, I was gonna look out for you.”

Erik practically runs to the drivers' side, itching to feel that leather on his back and smell that new car smell. Pulling off at 70 miles per hour, Erik starts talking business.

“My clean slate is already in progress from my understanding, I got some people in high places who owe me some favors.”

“AND, I found your girl, MISS CALLIE.” Kendrick clarifies.

“Is that RIGHT?” Erik’s grip on the steering wheel doesn’t go unnoticed, the leather making a loud crunching sound.

“YEP. she’s been dating that same nigga Lamont. Supposedly they’re going out tonight for a date, I think it’s RA Sushi on Lancaster Street.”

Erik’s irritation crackled.

He had something in store for her ass, just wait. He had a backup apartment where he did business that he could stay for a while, and then tonight he would pop up on Callie and her temporary nigga, serving up punishment by dick.

9:00 pm, Friday

“Look at you! You know how much I love RA Sushi.” Callie grabs Lamont's hand as he helps her out of his matte grey G Wagon, his hungry eyes never leaving Callie’s body. Tonight she wore a skin-tight camouflage bodycon dress, her lips painted a wine red, natural makeup on her face that brought out her hazel eyes, long hair done in soft curls, and her feet covered in nude So Kate red bottoms.

“I remember your love for Sushi Callie, figured we could start the night off right with dinner before we head over to the Hookah Bar.” Lamont stood at 6’1, a tall glass of chocolate milk with a bright white smile and chiseled features. His hair was shiny and black, blending perfectly with the fitted black sweater he wore and the dark wash denim of his jeans. He had a simple silver Rolex on his wrist with a silver rope chain, the smell of rosewood wafting her nose every time he took a step closer to her.

“Just hookah bar afterward? Nothing else you had in mind?” Lamont turned to her with a suggestive flicker of his thick black eyebrow, his lips turned up into a crooked smile.

“Callie you always want some damn dick.”

“What’s wrong with that? You telling me you don’t want to fuck?” Callie chuckles with a shocked look on her face. She never met a man who would turn down sex, especially if his women was ready and willing to provide that for him.

“OF COURSE I love fucking you Callie, but I was thinking tonight we could watch some movies, you know, get all boo’d up.” Callie actually scrunches her face at that. She hadn’t had the dick in about a week and all he wanted to do was lay in bed and watch movies? It was so foreign to her. As much as she hated to remember him, Erik never seized to please his women in AND out of the bed, that was before he got his ass locked up. Cali always wondered how he’d been holding up, sometimes thinking the worst, but she knew Erik could hold his own.

“Earth to Callie?” Callie hadn’t noticed her arrival in RA Sushi, standing in front of the hostess.

“Table for two right?” She asked all chipper.

“Yes, a booth near the window please,” Callie asked, watching as the hostess picked up two menus, escorting them to their table.

“You sure you good? You spaced out back there.” Lamont put an arm around her shoulder, squeezing her soft arm, bringing her body flush against his.

“Yeah, you know how I can get, lost in my thoughts.” They both settled into their seats, Callie letting out a deep breath before opening her menu to appetizers.

“You sure you telling me everything?” Lamont squinted his eyes in suspicion at her.

“Stop worrying about nothing and order us some appetizers! I was thinking we should share a bowl of ramen.” Lamont didn’t press her further, the waiter's arrival providing relief for her.

They both sat with glasses of water, undecided on what drinks they wanted with their chopsticks digging into the hot bowl of noodles, broth, beef, eggs, and veggies. Callie was so caught up in Lamont wiping some broth from the side of her mouth, that she hadn’t noticed the arrival of a special guest, but Lamont did.

“Can we help you brother?” Callie looks in the direction of Lamont's question to find THE ONE FUCKING PERSON SHE DIDN’T EXPECT TO SEE.

“AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!” Callie screams in shock, jumping back in her booth seat, hitting her head against the brick wall. She whines in pain, her hand rubbing over her weave, eyes wide in terror, her hands shaking as they covered her mouth.

“Miss Callie Carter, AKA Daddy’s little slut with the trick tongue.” Erik rolls his shoulders, arms folded across his chest with his dreads freshly twisted and stroked to the side, gold-rimmed glasses on his face, a white v neck t-shirt with an oversized distressed denim jacket, light wash drop crotch jeans with red and black Jordan 1’s on his feet. He smiles brightly, revealing golds in his mouth. Callie could not remove her eyes from him, she COULDN’T BELIEVE that Erik himself stood before her with at least twenty pounds of muscle added to his body and a head full of dreads. Was this the nigga she left in the phone room almost 4 years ago?!!!

“What the fuck?! NIGGA, WHO ARE YOU TO SAY SOME SHIT LIKE THAT ABOUT MY GIRL? Did you lose your fucking mind bruh? Get the stepping homie!” Lamont was fuming now, ready to stand up out of the booth, but Callie put out a hand to stop him.

“Lamont!!! no, just no…”

Lamont gives Erik a nasty look before turning to Callie with confusion.

“You wanna tell me who this nigga is that claim you’ve been sucking his dick?” ERIK barks out a burst of laughter that caused a waiter to stumble with a tray full of hot saki shots.

“My nigga you don’t know?!! I’m the one Callie left almost four years ago.” Lamont had this dumb expression on his face that made Erik want to go upside his head even more.

“You lost you coffee faced nigga!? Check this out..”

Erik seats himself next to Callie, her entire personal space now filled with the smell of warm cinnamon, mint citrus, and Indian patchouli clouding her, it was provocative allure and power with distinct magnetic notes. Callie hated the fact that she loved the smell, she was livid because her seat grew wet.

“Since it seems that Callie here is the QUEEN of secrets, let me reveal her biggest one.”

“Erik DON’T” Callie yanks at his jacket, causing him to turn his blazing eyes on her.

“Get your fucking hands off me. You punished.” Callie felt like she’d been slapped in the face, her jaw slack and her hazel eyes almost leaving her sockets.

“Now back to you nigga with the temporary dick, I’m Erik, Callie’s man who’s been away in jail for seven years.” Lamont marinated in resentment, not a word spoke just pure hate in his eyes as he stared at Erik unblinking.

“You look like you wanna kill me right now, but I bet that shit doesn’t match up to how much I wanna end your fucking life,” Erik spoke that low and careful, so Lamont could catch every single word.

“And as for you,” Erik points to Callie without even looking at her.

“I told you not to come near this nigga, didn’t I? I told you not to breathe the same air as him and look at what we got.” Callie could only shake her head, her lower lip trembling. She didn’t know what would happen next, but she KNEW it wouldn’t be the perfect reunion.

“Say goodnight, Callie, we leaving.” Erik lifts from the booth, walking away a little to find Callie still seated.

“Oh? So Daddy gotta punish you further huh? That’s cool, I’m up for the extra work.” Callie looks at Lamont, his eyes staring down at the table without a single gaze at her. Erik whistles, getting Callie’s attention again as she finally lifts from the booth, now on her two feet.

“Sorry, Lamont.” She says over her shoulder, guilt creeping up her belly.

“Sorry, not sorry,” Erik says with a smile, knowing that Lamont wasn’t stupid enough to get up and try anything with him. Callie takes tentative steps towards Erik, all eyes in that restaurant on her like she was walking the walk of shame.

Erik holds up his hand to her, stopping her.

“What the fuck you doing?” He says with a harsh breath escaping his mouth.

“Is that how you're supposed to approach big daddy? You forgetting something?!” Callie’s body stiffens, turning her face away from him. He had so much CONTROL.

“You can’t be fucking serious right now Erik???” He cocks his head at her response.

“Oh I’m DEAD Fucking serious, get on all fours NOW, and crawl to me before I leave your ass in this restaurant.” Erik snaps his fingers, pointing towards the floor rapidly. Callie shakes her head, kneading her shoulder, she just couldn’t do it in public NO FUCKING WAY.

“I DON’T CARE WHERE WE ARE. You’re Daddy’s little slut who likes to be on her knees.” Callie massages the back of her neck, her eyes wavered as she lowers herself to the floor in the middle of that restaurant. She flips her hair over her shoulder angrily, placing her hands onto the floor now, crawling towards him slowly with her piercing hazel eyes on his dark deranged ones. Erik laughs bitterly, walking back towards the door with his eyes trained on his Callie, her plump body swaying with each crawling motion. Finally, at the door, Erik stands with his back against the archway, arms folded, waiting for her to kneel in front of him. Callie makes herself comfortable on her knees, her eyes still on him, because she didn’t want to risk pissing him off further in public.

“I been gone from that pussy for too long for you to entertain some other nigga, some wack ass nigga you stupid?! You thought you would get away with it huh?!” Erik kisses his teeth, bending over to grip her chin roughly. Callie gulps, her lip quivering.

“Erik,”

“AYE.” She snaps her lips shut, her tongue rolling along the inside of her cheek.

“DADDY. Please, I’m-I’m fucking sorry okay I-I-I?!!”

“I-I-I-Too late Callie.” Callie could feel everyone's eyes on her, Erik looking up scanning the restaurant with malice.

“Fuck yall looking at?! Mind yall fucking business!!!”

Callie wanted to slap his fine ass clean across his face.

“FUCK-YOU-ERIK.” She said that with spite, already regretting it.

“Fuck me?! NAH, kill that IM FUCKING YOU. And I’m fucking you hard, and rough. Too many years in that fucking cell.” His voice grew so deep and terrifying. It not only had her fearing him, but it also had her pussy wet and calling for him.

The pleasure, the terror for the MAN.

“Round one of your punishment, I miss those naughty lips wrapped around my dick.” Erik lifted his shirt to his mouth, his hard, sensuous, able-bodied, sturdy, powerful, brick house frame came into view littered in these interesting scars that had her starstruck and dazed.

“Each one of these scars represents the number of days I spent behind bars, seven years worth of days.”

His thick fingers took its time to undo his pants, her throat bobbing and spit forming in the corners of her mouth. She salivated for this man, her face giving him a fake scowl. Erik knew her all too well, a mischievous smirk on his face as he stuck one of his hands down his briefs, pulling out a whopping 10 inches of thick dick, gripping it firmly at the base, Callie going cross-eyed as her eyes took in his thick head, and veiny shaft.

“What you supposed to do with this?” Erik could hear the audible gasps and objections from the people inside the restaurant. Callie’s tongue flicks her bottom lip slow, her eyes trailing from his impressive piece of meat to his sexy eyes.

“I’m supposed to suck it, DADDY.” Callie felt butterflies in her belly from that.

“That’s a start, and how you supposed to suck me off?” Callie wiggles on her knees.

“With both hands behind my back, using only my mouth.”

“THAT’S RIGHT. Only using that FUCKING MOUTH. No hands, just the lips, that tongue…”

Erik’s dick sits on her lips then, Callie’s head shaking from how good it felt to have that heavy thing rest on her bottom lip, staining it red.

“I don’t wanna see my dick, you better use that throat to your advantage! Make my shit disappear like you ain’t got no barrier!” He barked that shit out rough. Callie brings her hands behind her, opening wide, sinking her mouth on his stiff dick smooth and clean, her throat vibrating around him. It felt like home sweet home the way his dick sat deep to her uvula, her inner cheeks contracting around him giving his dick the best tension. She couldn’t believe that Erik had her on her knees, in front of EVERYONE with his dick in her mouth, fresh out of prison.

“Taste like it used to right? Ain’t change one fucking bit.” Callie nods her head, sucking him with a twirl of her mouth causing his dick to hit her inner cheeks each time, a hiss escaping his mouth deeply. She releases with a pop, spitting on it, then gliding her lips over him again, now bobbing her head quickly, the gurgling sounds so loud in her ears, the shock from the people around them became less audible. She loved it, every single inch of it no matter how upset she tried to be. She missed the dick, and it made her own the humiliation even more.

“Suck on my sack bitch.” That’s the only warning she needed, her mouth popping off his dick to suck on his hefty balls, Erik grabbing hold of his dick then, smacking her cheek. Her tongue thrashed wildly over him, sucking him up into her mouth one at a time, her pretty eyes taking in the strain of pleasure that was etched across his face.

“Look at you, for somebody that wanted to leave me so damn bad you sure as hell giving me a good welcome home present. Nasty ass.” Callie licks her way back to his dick, her lips sucking hard on the tip of his dick, which caused Erik to grip the sides of her face, fucking into her mouth so rough her nails dug into the skin on her hands.

“DON’T RUN EITHER LET ME TAKE THIS MOUTH.” He fucked her mouth like it didn’t belong to her, Callie’s body shaking and her entire face covered in spit. She couldn’t keep her eyes off of this sexy man, he was even sexier than before, and the thought of him fucking her tonight had her praying to God to wake up the next day with the ability to walk.

“Still got that dangerous tongue I see, FUCKKK.” He threw his head back, that lip she loved to suck on between his teeth.

“This my mouth now Callie, Let me cum in my shit.” Erik’s hips banged into her mouth faster and faster, his groans growing louder.

“FUCK YES!” She whimpers around him, his cum spilling out in loads down her chin, neck, and chest. It was SO MUCH, she couldn't even drink it all. Callie never knew Erik to cum that much.

Erik withdrew his dick, smacking her on the lips with it before scraping up some cum, feeding it to her. She drank every single drop with love and affection, her makeup ruined and clothes, the humiliation in the back of her mind.

Callie’s hands fought to gain control as she opened her apartment door, the hallway deathly quiet with the exception of Erik’s hard breathing on her neck. He yanks on her weave hard, pulling her back and causing her to slam her door closed after successfully opening it. Callie’s throat felt like she swallowed rocks from how sore it was, Erik, making her suck his dick again on the ride over.

“You thought you would run out on a nigga? Fuck another nigga?” Erik smacks her ass rough causing her to draw in a sharp breath.

“ANSWER ME!”

“No! I-I no Daddy no!!!”

“No? So you didn’t fuck him?”

Callie felt him yank on her hair again, her right foot almost causing her to fall.

“I-I, EEEEEEE.” She knew if she told him, he would get her.

“shut -that-whining-up-right-fucking-now.”

“DADDY, pleasseeee.”

“SAY IT.” Callie hiccuped from her whimpering.

“Yes. yes, I did.” She felt his nose press into her face, taking a deep breath in, blowing it out, then take another deep breath in, holding it. She did it.

“Open that door baby girl, right now.” Callie felt Erik release her hair, her hand gripping the knob to let them into her place.

“STRIP.” Erik doesn’t wait for her to get to the bedroom, let alone all the way into her living room, watching Callie step out of her heels, pulling her dress up and over her head, revealing an emerald green g string underneath with a matching push up bra. Erik runs a hand down his face as he takes in Callie’s heavy titties, down to her round belly, straight to her pussy, down her thunder thighs, and finally landing on her pretty toes.

“My nasty little bitch got thick on me. Look at you, mmm, ass so phat pussy so phat, titties sitting pretty, chunky and sexy.” Callie clutched her chest, the look in Erik’s eyes making it hard for her to stand on two feet.

“Now you KNOW that pussy too fat to fit into a g string, look at it.” Erik takes off his jacket, pulling his shirt up and over his head, practically knocking her out with that killer body. He looked like he belonged in the military running drills. With a body like that he could lift her up and over his head, knock a nigga out with one clean punch.

“Pussy lips hanging over the sides, eating that fabric.” His tongue flicked his upper lip repeatedly. Callie’s eyes were trained there, her mouth hanging open.

“You like that? You like the way daddy flick his tongue?” Erik started teasing her then, flicking his tongue over his lips LL Cool J style, biting them with a wrinkle of his nose, puckering them, flicking his tongue between his fingers, she couldn’t take it.

“I bet Lamont wack ass couldn’t eat the pussy like me COULD HE?” she jerked her leg to calm her pussy.

“Say no daddy.” He instructed.

“No daddy.”

Erik approaches her, taking his fingers to yank her bra down, her titties jumping out at him with surprise. Erik frantically lowered his mouth, sucking up her nipples in a sloppy manner, making lurid noises. Callie didn’t hold back a single moan as he attacked her heavy chest, her hand's yearning to touch him, causing him to smack it away.

“What I say? You punished right? Say yes daddy.”

“Y-yes daddy.”

Erik unclips her bra, tossing it to the side in her living room, grabbing two handfuls of her titties sucking her nipples so good it almost made her fall flat on her back.

“I missed this mouth daddy.”

“I bet your thick ass did. You can’t get nothing pass me.” Erik trails his tongue down her belly now, kissing and nibbling.

“You remember how daddy liked to eat the pussy?” Callie nods her head.

“You got a mouth right? USE THAT SHIT.”

“Yes, I remember.”

“So how Daddy used to do it then?” Without a further word, Callie got to the floor, turning with her back arched and bent over, her pussy spreading for him in that tiny ass g string.

“GOOD GIRL. You know your position like the back of your damn hand.” Erik kneeled in front of her, fisting her panties before ripping it clean off.

“DAMN DADDY.” Callie’s eyes rolled in lust. Erik’s hands came down on her ass roughly, watching her skin grow red. Callie winces, and each time she would assume he was done spanking her, she felt another ping of pain.

“OWW!” She wanted to grab her ass but Erik wasn’t having that.

“Say I’m so sorry daddy.” Erik’s hands weren’t letting up, Callie felt her eyes began to water.

“I-I-I’m so sorry daddy.” He wasn’t convinced. Erik takes three of his fingers, sucks on them slow, before arching her back further, sliding his fingers into her wet pussy in one motion, Callie’s fist hitting the carpet. She attempts to close her legs but NOPE, Erik wasn’t having that shit.

“APOLOGIZE BETTER THAN THAT BABY.” Erik pumps his fingers over her g spot, spreading her wider with his knees, watching the way her body bounced with a need on his fingers.

“Callie, what I say?!”

“IM SORRY!!” Erik’s hand came down on her ass again like a whip, while his three fingers pumped her pussy quick. Callie’s toes curled, and her ass jiggled from how forceful Erik stroked with just his fingers.

“CUM. That’s the only warning I’m giving you.” Erik wasn’t playing with her tonight.

“Mmm” *stroke* “mmm” *Stroke* “mmmmmm” *STROKE* *STROKE* *STROKE* It was sweet torture.

Callie’s body bent lower, her cries muffled into her arm as she squirts on her plush carpet.

Without warning, Erik bent down to her pussy, laying her flat against his mouth, his tongue thrashing and lips rubbing all over like a mad man. Callie felt like she was in another dimension the way he ate like a savage. He ate her like he was starved like he hadn’t eaten for months. She could only lay there and cry, and Erik just kept on going, aiming to give her orgasms that would shatter you from the inside out.

“FUCK MY FACE.” Callie began bouncing on his mouth, and everytime her pussy hit his lips, he would suck her up like she was running from him.

“Oooooooooooo I can't take it!”

“Fuck my face like I said, give Daddy that fucking pussy, MY fucking pussy.” She wiggled her pussy on his lips, the suction sooooooo gooooooodddddd it had her lifting from his mouth. This alone earned another thunderous smack to her ass.

“What I tell you to do?!!” His fingers gripped her hips hard.

“Fuck your face.” She shook madly.

“So where that pussy going? fuck-my-mouth-like-I-said-right?”

“Yeah.”

“Well let’s go then I haven’t eaten all day bitch,” Callie whines her hips on his tongue, Erik slowly french kissing her pussy, actual kisses involving the slow sensual movement of your lips, with the surprise of a tongue, and the deep suction of the mouth. That’s what Erik gave her, but with more force.

“HAHA, That's the way you feed a nigga some pussy.” She fought the urge to grip his dreads.

“Yeah, daddy yeahhhhh.” She whimpers repeatedly like a song, her body tensing up as Erik continuously swiped his lips and tongue over her clit. Callie’s arms gave out on her, her body collapsing as her pussy creamed his entire mouth, too weak to jerk let alone moan. She passed out on his mouth, Erik still sucking like she had some left, but her pussy felt like he sucked her dry. He parted her pussy lips, sucking on everything there, flicking his tongue in its wake, causing her to flutter, her belly growing tight. She places her head on her arm, rocking her body back and forth while he did what he came to do FUCK HER UP.

Erik came to give her that torture and now Callie was a moaning mess, her clit so sensitive and the pressure in her belly so tight that she lifts from him frantically, crawling away. Erik growls in anger, his dreads wild in his face. Callie couldn’t even make it to the wall without him slamming her against it, parting her legs, laying flat on his belly while he finished the job. Callies, toes pointed roughly into the carpet, thighs shaking, her hands gripping a handful of his dreads.

“Ima squirt, ima squirt!” She squeezes her eyes shut, the pressure knocking at her hard, and finally gaining access to Erik's mouth as she slid down the wall. She gave silent cries to his assault, finally feeling his lips leave her pussy, but of course, he smacks her there.

Erik’s chest rose and fell rapidly, lips set in a hard line as he removed his bottoms, kicking them off. She couldn’t keep her eyes off his DICK. It was so damn big it made her moan just from the sight.

“Oh don’t worry, you bought to get it now.” Erik picks her up and over his shoulder, guiding her to her room.

“I haven’t heard you cry enough tonight. I’m gonna make you scream from this dick.” Erik kicks open her bedroom door, throwing her down onto the bed watching her body bounce and jiggle.

“If I buss it wide open will you scream for Daddy?” Erik yanks her pillows and covers from her bed, kneeling between her legs. He brings his hand to her wet pussy, smearing the sloppy juices over his hand, and bringing it to his dick.

“If I pound you into this bed will you cry? I really wanna make that ass cry.” Erik pulls her legs back so far she winces, her feet touching her headboard and her knees touching her ears.

Erik leans over her, his dick sliding between her folds, whispering low into her ear, his breath fluttering against it.

“Daddy gonna stretch this pussy.” He whispers so low you have to be still to catch it.

“Daddy gonna beat it up.” Callie taps her toes against the headboard.

“Watch how daddy does it.” Erik lifts, his hands latched to the back of her thighs, his dreads hanging in her face, and his dick slowly sinking into her purposely. Callie frantically shakes her head, pushing at his rock hard chest, the texture of his scaring soft against her fingers. He jerked forward rough, causing her to bounce. She felt like the wind had been knocked out of her chest. Erik repeats himself, the sound of smacking flesh hard and rough in her ears, the springs creaking like they begged to break. She shook from the pleasure and pain as her eyes swam with tears and her jaw dropped. Erik went without stopping, Callie no longer differentiating between consciousness and unconsciousness.

“You watching me punish you, look what you got me doing.” Erik drew his lips into his mouth, his eyebrows scrunched and his dimples smiling at her.

“Keep them eyes on me, watch me fuck this pussy up.” She gritted her teeth, nothing left to do except to grip anything. Her eyes observed his dick fucking her while his pupils flared. Callie couldn’t take the way his strong arms held her big thighs open, and the way his thick dick went in and out with a stream of wetness coating it.

The momentum increased times 1000 now, Callie digging her nails into Erik’s shoulders, his big goliath frame pumping her pussy so hard, her body jerked like a fuck doll, a shrill scream escaping her mouth.

“There you go, that’s it. Scream while I’m in the pussy.” There was sure to be a gaping dent in the middle of the mattress the way Erik fucked her, using Callie’s pussy like a punching bag, his stamina insane just as much as that dick.

“I gotta cum!” Callie cries.

“You always gotta cum, ain’t nothing I don’t already know.”

“Daddy it’s right-there!” She screams to the ceiling. Callie’s pussy was THROUGH she couldn’t take anymore.

“Where the fuck is it?!” Erik searches with his eyes, his lip between his teeth while glowering.

“DADDY,” Callie jerks so wild that Erik’s grip on her slips, her liquid pouring on him.

“You getting more of this dick though so BEND OVER.” She couldn’t even move without falling into the mattress, Erik flipping her over, positioning her so that her ass was in the air pointed to the ceiling and her arch was so deep her spine was non-existent. Erik grips her wrists, jerking forward into her cleanly, her head throwing back before falling forward in defeat.

“Say fuck this pussy hard from the back daddy.” Erik jerks slow.

“Daddy-fu-fuck this pussy hard from the back.”

“Where your fucking manners??”

“Fuck-fuck this pussy hard from the back pleassse.”

“GOOD JOB.”

If back shots could kill, Callie would be dead. If getting your back blown out felt like the dick itself fought to claim your soul through your pussy, then Callie would be a shell. Erik fucked like a monster, his dick not only residing in her guts but her damn chest. Callie turned to look at him in the middle of his assault with a tear stained face and a blank gaze, her hair a tangled mess and her lower lip quivering.

“You look lost, something I can help you with??” her ass was a tidal wave as it bounced off his body.

“Slow down daddy.” Callie practically pleaded with this man.

“How old are you?” Erik asked between deep breaths.

“28.”

“So what that make you then? A little girl or a grown woman?”

“A grown w-w-women.”

“So be a grown woman AND TAKE THIS DICK, take it no problem.” Erik lifts one leg, crossing his arms on her back, fucking her as hard as he could go, Callie’s head falling to the mattress, so close to banging on the headboard. Erik noticed her eyes rolling to the tops of her lids, her arms going limp in his.

“I can’t believe this shit, my dick got you passing out!” Erik couldn’t help the triumphant smile on his face, His dick growing sensitive in her pussy he just KNEW he would feed her his cum.

“Whether you’re here with me or not tell me if you feel this nut in this tight SHIT.” Erik groans repeatedly, finally snapping his hips forward rough, his nails dragging over her skin. Callie felt possessed, her pussy like a cream filled doughnut. Her eyes snap open frantically, as Erik jerked himself empty, her arms flailing in his grip. “We don’t run from the dick Callie! Stop acting defiant.” Callie pushes at Erik with her foot, rolling off the bed and running for her bedroom door with a limp in her walk. Erik wanted to yell from how angry she just made him.

“WHEN YOU GONNA ACT YOUR AGE AND TAKE THIS DICK CALLIE?!!!” Erik lifts from the bed, his dick swinging, searching for her with a swing of his head, dreads shaking.

“We playing hide and seek now?” Erik chuckles deep, turning left in her living room finding call standing on the other side of the table with a pleading look and a continuous shake in her thighs.

“The fuck you doing?! Bring that ass over here now!”

“No E! I can’t take it no more the dick is too much! What the fuck You been doing lifting weights with the dick?!” She observed the way his dick stood erect, hard enough to break a damn brick in half.

“That shit just won’t go soft.” She cried like a baby.

His forehead creased in frustration, “when I catch you, I’m fucking you into whatever surface there is. EVERY TIME YOU RUN, it’s just gonna earn you a harder fuck.” Erik jolts left while Callie goes the other way, pausing when Erik makes a quick move to her side. She tried to run but her foot caught on the side of her dining room table chair, causing her to trip and Erik to wrap his big arm around her waist, lifting her naked body up and on the table. The plant in the middle falls over, littering soil on the surface and water. He has her ankles now, pulling on them and finally resting them on his shoulders.

Her eyes were glossy, head shaking as Erik spread her legs again, yanking up her hand and wrapping it around him.

“Put this dick in my pussy.” He instructs. Callie does as she’s told with a shaking hand, her pussy disobeying her advances from how tight and swollen she was.

“Oh so now the dick can’t fit?! It was just in there a minute ago!” Erik starts jerking his hips, the more he jerked, the more his dick would stab into her pussy. Callie’s brows drew together, her back arching as Erik’s stiff dick finally made its way into her pussy again.

“You know what I think?” Erik grips her hips, pulling her body onto his dick like she couldn’t move a muscle.

“I think you like to play like you don’t want me to fuck you. But guess what? I like the chase, the more you do it the more I want it.” His hips snapped forward and the muscles running along his abdomen flexed each time. Callie couldn’t take the sight of this beautiful man fucking her.

“You taking my pussy daddy?!!” Callie’s mind and body seemed to warp to his control. She felt him bring her knees to her ears, angling her body so that each time he pounded, her lower half would meet his thrusts. Callie screams from the deep diving of his dick, causing her to slap him hard across his face, so hard she could see the vein in his neck snap.

“DO THAT SHIT AGAIN.” Erik dated her to, his eyes damn near black, face contorted in fury. Callie slaps him again, the sound compared to the sound of a belt breaking skin. He growls.

“You so mad at Daddy fucking you into this table slap me again! Hit me again right?! Do it bitch since you so sick of me fucking this pussy up!” Callie started to punch at his chest, her hands now yanking hard on his dreads, bringing his head towards hers, his eyes squeezed shut from the tension. Erik stabbed his dick angrily into her, the table scraping against the floor now hitting the wall.

“You mad and I’m taking this pussy AND you can’t run.” He was smug about that. Callie’s walls clench and unclench around his dick then, her tiny hand coming to his throat then.

“YOU JUST LOVE MAKING ME SQUIRT HUH?” She yells. You could hear her wetness building inside of her like Erik was plunging his dick into a body of water repeatedly.

“You love ME making you squirt. Like I told you, I’m taking this pussy and every single squirt and cream with me.” Erik bit down on the hand that tried to choke him, causing her to wrap her legs around his neck, her body shaking like a wave, squirting on this mans dick AGAIN.

She watches as he slips out of her, bringing his mouth to attack her wet pussy.

“You eating it for what though?!!” She cries, her body already going limp from Erik’s tongue.

“Spread that pussy open Callie.”

“No nigga.” She pushes at his big head, but of course, his neck is made of muscle too.

“No? You don’t tell daddy no you tell daddy yes.”

Erik sucks her up so much her liquid began to form around his mouth in bubbles, she had NEVER been this damn wet. She couldn’t control herself, as much as she cried and pleaded her hips rolled over his tongue.

“Fuck you and that mouth!” She could feel it growing in her belly again.

“You love it when I make you cum stop acting brand new!!!” She screams, her pussy squirting on him AGAIN. She almost falls to the floor from the feeling, Erik’s face shining, his lips dripping, his chest and abs glistening. Callie slips from the wet table, backing away from his crazy ass before running to her door. Erik doesn’t move just yet, kissing his teeth in annoyance before looking down at his still erect dick. His conscious begged him to cum again, he had to. Imagine being away for so long with only a memory to beat your meat to and not the real thing. Erik walks into the living room to find Callie unlocking her door, slipping out. He runs like he was doing sprints on a race track, catching her by her hair, closing the door, and lifting her body to the door. There they both stood, naked in the hallway for any of her neighbors to see, and I guess they both got there wish.

“What the HELL is all that noise out here!!” Callie’s neighbor Miss Daniels yanks her apartment door open in one of her house dresses, old titties swinging and shower cap halfway off her head.

Callie didn’t mean to give the old women a heart attack she really didn’t, but the look on her face made it look like she needed medical attention. Erik didn’t even give the lady a glance, his eyes fixated on Callie’s voluptuous body up against that door.

“Miss Daniels go ahead back in he’s not gonna move.” Callie warns the women, watching as she closed the door softly, her eyes popping out her head.

“You catching cardio while I’m tryna get in them GUTS. You got the neighbors watching and shit fuck wrong with you?!” Erik takes his dick again, teasing her tight entrance before sinking back into her so deep her eyes roll cross-eyed. Erik smirks at this, now bouncing Callie on his dick so good and loud everyone in that apartment we’re definitely sure to hear now.

“You gonna run from this good dick again or act right?”

Callie’s lip trembles from the way his head glides along her g spot.

“Act right Daddy.”

“And if you don’t act right, what Daddy gotta do?”

“Punish me further.” She whispers

“Yeah, that’s what daddy gotta do. If you just let me paint them walls again with this nut, I’ll leave you alone for the night.” Erik opens the door, walking into the apartment with Callie still around him, bouncing her slow.

“You still keep that vibrator in your top drawer between your socks?”

Callie couldn’t believe this nigga wanted to use a sex toy on her after already torturing her pussy enough that night.

“Mhm.” That’s all she says, her head falling back and Erik’s lips and teeth latching to her neck. Back into her bedroom that reeked of sex, Erik puts Callie on the bed, walking to her dresser to find her vibrator. She had a few new ones now, pulling out a gspot one that he itches to use. Erik walks back to the bed, flipping Callie up on her side, resting behind her while bringing her leg up and to her shoulder. Erik couldn’t keep his hands from gliding along her wet, sloppy pussy, finally turning on the vibrator and placing it inside her sitting right over her spot.

“Ahh!” She attempts to curl her body up, making Erik dig into her hips, dick twitching as he sinks into her again with a shake of his head in blissful ecstasy, rubbing along her outstretched thigh before gripping a handful of her ass from behind. Erik could feel the vibrator jump along the tip of his dick each time he fucked up into her.

“DAMN, we gotta do this more often. Shit feeling good.” He bites her ear hard, causing her to screech.

“Shit feel amazing right? Say uh huh daddy.”

“Uh huh daddy yess” Callie’s body couldn’t help it, the way he rubbed in her and the way that vibrator glided on her spot had her shaking with pleasure.

“You don’t wanna run no more huh? You tired of running from this dick?”

“Yess.” Erik keeps his eyes on the side of her face, his dick buried deep like he was digging for gold. Callie turns to meet his dark eyes, bringing her mouth to his frantically, letting this man use his cum stained tongue to ravish her mouth. Erik wanted her wider, trying to stretch her body more and more so he could feel the vibrator too. That shit had him going wild, his teeth biting down on her bottom lip and his abs flexing on her back.

“You gonna cum daddy?! You better cum too since you fucking me so much!!” She spoke that through clenched teeth.

“Cum in me deep daddy pleaseee!”Callie asked innocently her hand gripping his face. 

“BEG ME.”

“Fuck me good and cum in me deep DADDY! please, please fuck!” Erik trails his eyes down to her pussy, his head falling forward as he roughly fucked up into her, her body jerking and hands pulling at the last bit of sheets on her bed. She couldn’t take it, her head fell back against him and her eyes fluttered shut. Here she was, giving him her final squirt of the night, the most powerful squirt mixed with his thick white cum.

“LET ME CUM IN YOU DEEP.” Erik was frantic.

“So fucking deep you better SUCK ME DRY.” He bangs into her two more times, before shouting a string of curse words to ceiling, the pressure of his dick against that vibrator causing Callie to release herself all over him some more.

Erik slipped out of her slow, his dick throbbing, and the vibrator buzzing madly on the bed. Callie could only lay there, feeling the bed shift behind her from Erik rising to turn off the lights. She felt used and filled, laying in her own juices while Erik draped his heavy ass arm over here in the dark. He gives her cheek a sloppy lick, and then a kiss, snuggling close to her with his dick pressed between her cheeks.

“You off punishment. Get some sleep.” That’s all he says, his nose buried in her had and his breaths evening out into that of quick slumber. All she could hear was his snores in her ears, and all she could see was pitch black. Callie couldn’t help the frustration that began to settle within her.

This nigga then fucked her so good she couldn’t even sleep.

Fuck that jailbird.

@panthergoddessbast @whoramilaje @allhailnjadaka @vikkidc @erikismybitch @eriknutinthispoosy @hearteyes-for-killmonger @blackpantherismyish @trevantesbrat @hdkween @wifin-niggaz @blowmymbackout @killmonger-dolan @killmongersaidheyauntie @killmongersgurl @killmongersmistress @wawakanda-btch @wakanda-inspired @muse-of-mbaku @thiccdaddy-mbaku @madamslayyy @chaneajoyyy @bidibidibombaclaat @scrumptiouslytenaciouscrusade @laketaj24 @abeautifulmindexposed @blxckquiescent @missmohnique @misspooh @missumuch1918 @supersizemeplz @unfriendly-blk-hottie @princessstevens @princesskillmonger @blue-sunflowerr @youreadthatright @youcantkillamutant @disneysdarlingdiva @purple-apricots @softnani @loosewindmill @janelledarling @ange-sensuel @n-jadaddy @forbeautyandlife @deja-r @wakandawinning @thehomierobbstark @jozigrrl @shesakillerkween @sonofnjobu @drsunshine97 @iamrheaspeaks @brittyevans @killmongerdispussy @marvelpotterlove @heyauntieeee @tiava143 @raysunshine78 @destinio1 @forgottenthoughtsandmemories @thehonorablekingerik @shookmcgookqueen @hidden-treasures21 @nickidub718 @tamagxtchii @teheeboo

[claudioseraph]

Yall wanna see my very rough rewrite of the tekken story where things remain mainly the same but I try to keep it sensible jk I’m posting it now and you have no choice but to witness Keep in mind a lot of characters are yet to be mentioned or expounded upon and I also started it with the mood of a youtube vid where you’d be listening to someone but it’s slowly turning into more of a wiki page. I’m at tekken 3 so far and I’ve been bouncing back and forth on the actual Tekken wiki page trying to get my info straight. Also trying to create the illusion that Heihachi MIGHT be a good guy like the series seemed to play with every now and again, or he might just want people to think he’s a good guy.

Let’s start at the beginning; with the young Heihachi and Kazumi meeting for the first time as she enrolls in Jinpachi’s dojo. Jinpachi and Heihachi are impressed by her ability to adapt to both her own Hachijo style Karate and Mishima style fighting arts. From here, Kazumi is but a carefully-placed plant, her current objective being to watch over Heihachi because of the risk of him causing destruction to the world. Kazumi does eventually begin to harbor real, genuine feelings for him, though, and as such the two get married. It’s from here that the warning signs really start to show, though Kazumi tries to ignore them despite her original purpose. Heihachi insists his father end his focus on fighting arts to instead focus the Mishima Zaibatsu on producing weapons and engaging in matters of warfare so that their name continues to have strength when what he sees as outdated fighting techniques are no longer relevant. Jinpachi refuses, and as such asserts that Heihachi will never inherit the Mishima Zaibatsu. By now, Kazumi is even more hesitant as she is pregnant with Kazuya and understands that if Heihachi does become a threat as foretold, so too will Kazuya. She does her best to persuade Heihachi to change his mind about the direction of the zaibatsu, doing her best to change his ways while dancing around the whole “my family foretold you would bring death and destruction to the world” angle. Heihachi assures her that he’s only concerned with his family’s name and status, not being a war monger. Kazumi “believes” him. Things calm down for a time, enough for Kazuya to be born and live a normal life until age 5. Heihachi still harbors outward resentment towards Jinpachi, and the two are all but estranged. Heihachi still keeps an eye on the company as Jinpachi’s health begins to decline and it becomes clear he’s nearing his end. Around this time, Kazumi’s devil gene is beginning to activate, seeing as the chance of Heihachi gaining ownership of the zaibatsu and enacting his plans for it is still very prominent. She does her best to fight it off but is overtaken by a fever one night which leads to the events shown in Tekken 7 of her transforming and revealing her true purpose to him before being killed. Kazuya witnesses only her death, and is understandably confused and angry. Heihachi is in no place to console Kazuya and instead responds in kind with anger. After Kazuya isolates himself Heihachi recalls that Kazumi revealed that she was not only sent to kill Heihachi, but would have to kill Kazuya as well, and wonders where that puts Kazuya in all of this. Did he inherit the same abilities? Would he stand against Heihachi in the future? Or would they work together? Rather than immediately casting Kazuya out, Heihachi intends to see what path Kazuya takes. He still lacks the emotional availability/complexity to properly raise Kazuya after the rift in their relationship and things are rocky between them to say the least. Kazuya doesn’t believe any excuse Heihachi gives him for killing his mother, but as he’s only a child there isn’t much he can do to retaliate. Jinpachi dies a year later and is burred under Hon Maru. Heihachi forcibly takes control of the Mishima Zaibatsu. Knowing this was against Jinpachi’s wishes and having been close to his grandfather, this only widens the rift between Kazuya and Heihachi. [Heihachi swiftly begins to use the zaibatsu to investigate a god of fighting rumored to be lying dormant somewhere in the world. This sends Mr. Chang to America where he falls in love with Mrs. Chang and Michelle is born.] Heihachi still intends to raise Kazuya to be a formidable fighter, and adopts Lee into the family specifically for the purpose of giving Kazuya a rival. Thinking it over, Heihachi decides that even if Lee isn’t a fitting rival, he’d raise him to stand against Kazuya alongside him should things go that way. Lee is more receptive to the ins and outs of business, to manipulation for the sake of his own gain, and Heihachi uses that to give him an edge against Kazuya. Understanding Lee and Kazuya’s seperate skill sets, Heihachi sends Lee to America on business while he sends Kazuya out to participate in  tournaments across the world. Lee meets Paul and Law while in America and trains alongside them. After Lee has returned to Japan, Kazuya meets with and fights to a draw against Paul in America. [Mr. Chang dies when, under threat of death, he begins to unearth Ancient Ogre. His death is covered up by the zaibatsu and when Michelle, 18, learns of this she joins the tournament to exact revenge against Heihachi.] In their 20s, Lee and Kazuya begin to conspire against Heihachi to wrest control of the Mishima Zaibatsu. Their union is shaky at best as both plan to head the zaibatsu in spite of the other, but they unify long enough to participate in the Tekken tournament Heihachi organizes with the intention of defeating him. (The tradition of fighting tournaments initially began as a smaller ordeal under Jinpachi, and Heihachi is only currently organizing a fighting tournament to keep the Mishima name in the spotlight). Lee, Paul, and Law meet again (outside of matches) and Lee learns that Paul has faced Kazuya before. Kazuya eliminates Paul from the tournament but in a show of good naturedness the two stay on good terms as rivals as Kazuya appreciates Paul’s strength. Eventually, Lee and Kazuya are pitted against one another. Kazuya emerges victorious and reveals to no one’s surprise that he never intended to share control of the zaibatsu with Lee. He does, however, offer Lee a lesser position. Lee finds that his pride is more damaged from losing to his brother than he’d expected, and he declines Kazuya’s offer. [Nina joins the tournament under orders to assassinate Heihachi but is defeated by Anna, who is then defeated by Paul.] Kazuya continues to the final stage against Heihachi, who is equal parts pleased with his son’s strength and cautious of it. Kazuya is nearly overwhelmed by Heihachi, who is fighting with his all, until the devil gene within him is activated and grants him immense power. Heihachi is overwhelmed both by Kazuya’s strength and by the revelation that he has inherited his mother’s ability. Feeling truly paternal for only a moment, Heihachi attempts to console Kazuya and explain to him the origin of this new power, intending to help and protect him the way he failed to with Kazumi. Kazuya, on the other hand, quickly abates his confusion and realizes that his power means he can no longer be subjected to feeling helpless the way he had as a child and under Heihachi’s strict and oftentimes cruel “parenting”. This power goes to Kazuya’s head, and he quickly dispatches Heihachi, disposing of his body off of a cliff near his childhood home in a mostly symbolic gesture. [Kazuya meets Ganryu in this tournament after the sumo is defeated by Yoshimitsu. He recognizes his strength (despite not seeing him as an equal) and appoints him as his body guard after taking control of the Zaibatsu. Kazuya extends the same offer to Paul but Paul respectfully declines in favor of traveling the world in order to become stronger. Kazuya learns of Heihachi’s search for Ancient Ogre and continues where he’d left off, sending Ganryu to attain an amulet currently in possesion of Michelle Chang that has some connection to the fighting god. Ganryu fails, falls in love with Michelle, and never returns. Ganryu’s abandonment is no great loss to Kazuya.] As Kazuya gains power of the Mishima Zaibatsu, Lee isolates himself in the wilderness to train. It is here that he meets Wang Jinrei, a skilled martial artist who knows of Lee’s connection to the Mishima family. Wang offers to train Lee in exchange for Lee bringing about the end of the Mishima clan as he, like Jinpachi and the Hachijo family, foresees the destruction they will bring to the world. When Lee tells Wang that Heihachi is already dead by Kazuya’s hands, Wang reveals that he can still feel Heihachi’s energy and that he has not yet been killed. Lee agrees to do what he must so long as it means becoming stronger than Kazuya, unaware of how Heihachi’s intentions of creating a division between the two had deeply affected his psyche. As leader of the zaibatsu, Kazuya organizes another tournament two years later to test his ability in battle. His power has gone to his head and he has become even more millitaristic than Heihachi, planning to seize control over all of Japan after he has ascertained the limits of his strength. He has also ordered genetic experiments on living creatures to understand the effects of the Devil Gene. His collective actions draw the ire of wildlife conservationalist Jun Kazama, and she joins the tournament in order to stop Kazuya. Jun is also able to sense the evil habituated within Kazuya, and intends to dispell it from his body to keep he and the world around him safe. Meanwhile, Heihachi has recovered and healed, sharpening his skills before the tournament in order to stop Kazuya, whom he no longer sees as his son but as a demon. Lee joins the tournament only to be defeated by Heihachi, whom he is still surprised to find alive despite Wang Jinrei’s words. Lee is then officially expelled from the Mishima clan. Jun meets with Kazuya outside of matches to arrest him, but instead convinces him to end his experiments on animals. While Kazuya initially intends to cast her aside he is drawn in by her strength and bravery, as well as the strange calm that overcomes him whenever she’s near him. Jun is then able to see that there is some good in Kazuya still, and takes an interest in him as well. Kazuya becomes compelled to act on her wishes and ends the animal experimentation. He never vocalizes it but Jun knows that Kazuya has the intention of changing his ways and as such Jun forfeits the tournament, seeing no need to proceed. [Nina is again sent to assassinate Kazuya and fails due to Anna’s intervention after she became his body guard (alongside Bruce*) for the sole purpose of stopping her sister. Nina is captured and used in Dr. Bosconovitch’s* experiments which would put her into a deep cryosleep. Seeing no fun in living without her rival around for years, Anna volunteers to also take part in the experiments.] Any intention Kazuya had of changing is swiftly brought to an end once Heihachi reveals himself to still be alive. Kazuya is defeated and Heihachi regains control over the Zaibatsu. In an attempt to assure Kazuya’s demise, Heihachi throws his body into an active volcano. Lee distances himself from Mishima matters. Jin is born months later after a tumultuous pregnancy wherin Jun had to ward off the influence of the devil gene. Jun recieves word of Kazuya’s demise but senses that he may still be alive. She believes that Heihachi was only acting for what he believed to be the greater good and harbors no ill will towards him. To protect Jin and reconnect with her spiritual energy she raises him in semi-seclusion, teaching him Kazama-style fighting arts in an attempt to continue protecting his soul from the devil presence. When Jin turns 15 Jun has a premonition of her own demise and as such instructs Jin to seek out Heihachi should anything happen to her, being estranged from her own family after her father’s death and unable to reach out to them. Her premonition comes true as a newly-awakened Ancient Ogre attacks them and presumably kills her. Jin assumes as much when he awakens after the attack, their home burned to the ground and neither Jun nor Ogre anywhere in sight. [Ogre’s appearance awakens Anna and Nina, Nina having lost all her memories of Anna and their rivalry. Anna, as such, attempts to remake their relationship to avoid becoming rivals with her again, realizing that they only really have each other. Nina is unfortunately possesed and controlled by Ogre, making that impossible.] With some difficulty, Jin does find Heihachi who takes him in with minimal questions. Having been mostly isolated Jin is ill prepared for city life and instead spends most of his time training, which Heihachi is unopposed to. Jin knows nothing about Kazuya and Heihachi’s falling out and is subsequently unsuspicious of Heihachi’s possible response to the devil gene dormant within him. Heihachi does consider raising Jin properly, but remembers how Kazuya had easily turned on him once his devil gene was activated. Heihachi properly enrolls Jin into Mishima Polytechnic and Jin is very receptive to his lessons. Heihachi sends Jin on small business trips once Jin is old enough in order to test his business savvy, and on one of these trips Jin meets and fights to a draw against Hwoarang. In the years after the second tournament, Heihachi had been using the zaibatsu to regain the support of the public by way of creating the Tekken Force which was sent worldwide on good will missions to provide aid to impoverished nations. This force was, at the same time, searching for any evidence of Ancient Ogre. It isn’t until 15 years later that one of their expeditions properly unearths Ogre, who wipes out the team. Word reaches Heihachi of Ogre’s appearance just before Jin is sent to him. For the next four years Heihachi trains Jin as a possible weapon to use against Ogre while trying to again ascertain the monster’s whereabouts. He sees the pattern of Ogre’s appearances; only appearing to face strong fighters, and organizes the third Tekken tournament in order to draw Ogre out and obtain his power. [Baek was one of the fighters to have been unfortunately confronted by Ogre, and this pushes Hwoarang to join the third tournament to obtain his revenge and settle the score against Jin.] [Paul receives an invitation to the third tournament and joins to test his mettle against his rival’s son and father. While he never meets with Jin or Heihachi, he does defeat Kuma and Ancient Ogre. He leaves the tournament prematurely to find more challenges, not realizing Ancient Ogre had been revitalized as True Ogre.] Jin and Hwoarang meet at the third tournament and once again fight to a draw. Jin is allowed to continue on through the next stages and Hwoarang is forced to return to Korea for his mandatory military service. Jin meets with Heihachi next, who claims to want to test his strength before Jin continues. In reality, he wishes to fight in order to draw out Ogre. This plan works, as a weakened Ogre appears and is swiftly defeated by an enraged Jin. At his second defeat, Ogre takes Heihachi’s power and becomes True Ogre, whom Jin also defeats with terrifying power. Regaining consciousness just long enough to see this, Heihachi then knows that Jin has inherited the same devil power as Kazuya. As he’s calming himself from the fight, Heihachi takes the chance to shoot Jin, then calls in the Tekken Force soldiers to retrieve his body. However, Jin reawakens as Devil Jin and

[zanesgirlfriend]

Take Care of Me | Zane Hijazi

Description: Zane asks for you all night, and once he gets hurt he refuses to go to the hospital without seeing you first. (based on vlog #538)

Requested?: yes by @lilyeehaw : Based on the davids vlog where Zane gets hurt and stass is here but he keep asking for Y/N and then she arrives and Stass gets mad and Zane confess his feelings for the reader and just fluff

A/N: I love this idea!! and thank you so much for requesting a Zane fic bc he is my mf baby and i love him! Also, I had to make this in 3rd person instead of 2nd person to tell the story the right way, so let me know if yall like that better. This is also hella long and i had to rewatch that vlog at least 30 times so enjoy.

____

Zane had been drinking all night. He was drinking all night to try and escape the fact that he had a crush on her. Of course, there was Stassie. Everyone knew he had a tiny crush on Stassie, and that she had an ass to die for, but that was all physical. What Zane felt in his heart was for Y/N. He knew when he met her that she was meant for him. Zane tore himself up and wasted himself away because a couple kisses with Stassie drove Y/N farther from him than ever. Afterall, she couldn't be with someone that constantly lusted after somebody else.

Zane was way past tipsy and needed to take a break from hanging out with everybody. He laid on David's bed, texting Y/N for the millionth time that night, in many hopes of a response.

Y/N please come over

I wana see youuuuuu

i miss you a lot

we havent hung out in forveeeer

She glossed over his typos, knowing he was drunk. She wanted to see him too, but she knew something about Stassie wasn't right. Her jealousy was too intense when those two were together.

Is Stassie there?

Zane's eyes lit up. In his wobbly state, he couldn't tell that she was indifferent. He was too excited that she'd texted him back.

Yes and you should be here too

Y/N rolled her eyes and put her phone down. There was no way she could compare to Stassie, and she didn't wanna be in a competition she knew she would lose.

Y/N?? Are u coming over

pleaseeeeeee

She decided she needed a reason to be there. A reason other than 'he's cute.'

Why should I come over?

He racked his brain, trying to get it to stop spinning.

Bc i want u to take care of me

And that was the last she heard from him in a while. She had texted back "Stass can take care of you." and assumed that he had just realized she was right and stopped responding. Turns out she was very wrong.

Somewhere in between texts Zane had lost his Juul, which had found a home on the floor beneath David's bedside table. However, Stassie's Juul pod was in Zane's juul, and she wanted it back. She burst into the room, looking for Zane.

"Where's my pod?" Stass sat on the edge of the bed, causing Zane to sit up.

"It's in my Juul, my pod was empty." Zane slurred his words, attempting to focus on the woman in front of him.

"Okay, so where's your juul." Stassie was fed up with the drunk mess that was Zane. He felt around his chest and his pockets, searching for the device. "Zane." She was starting to get mad, and progressively getting louder.

All of their friends made their way into the bedroom, David filming all of it as per usual.

"What is going on?" David asked as he made his way over to Zane's side of the bed. David heard murmers of a Juul from Zane as Stassie yelled at him.

"Oh the Juul, are you looking for a Juul?" Zane and Stassie perked up, excited that David had found their precious vape.

"Yes!" Stassie giggled and Zane reached over to look for the Juul.

"I found one right here." David pointed towards the floor.

"No, yeah, it's actually mine." Zane slurred as his head spun. He made his way to the floor, grabbing the Juul.

"Zane, no, I will literall-" Stassie grabbed at Zane's clothes, knowing that he was too drunk to even pick up something. She climbed on his back, screaming his name many times, attempting to reach past him towards the Juul. Stassie ended up gettinng frustrated and stood up on the bed, pushing Zane to the floor with her foot.

Zane sat on the floor against the wall and hit the Juul. "Zane!" Stassie whipped Zane with a sweatshirt, attempting to get her pod back.

"Y/N would never treat me like this!" Zane said as he climbed up onto the bed. This pissed Stassie off to no end.

The rest of the group could be heard saying "Ohhhh" and "Shit, Stass." as she continued to whip Zane. In a flash of a second, Zane's drunkness overtook him. He attempted to stand up, but was so dizzy that he lost his balance. He fell backwards, twisting around, and smashing his head on the corner of a briefcase.

The world was spinning and Zane was in the center. He couldn't focus on what anyone was saying, and instead tried to balance himself. His hand instinctly went to his head, trying to stop the thumping pain in his skull.

"I really got hurt. I really got hurt." He repeated, standing and walking over to the bed. He laid down and tried to listen to pieces of what everyone was saying. The blood was dripping down his face and everyone was saying so many things, yet all he wanted was her. He knew this wouldn't have happened if she was here. She would've found his Juul for him, and helped keep him upright and make him drink water. She was supposed to take care of him.

"Zane you're bleeding!" David's words made it past his thoughts, and he seemed to sober up for a moment.

"Am I really bleeding?" Zane looked at his hand and knew that he fucked up. "Where's Y/N?" He kept asking.

"She's at her house. Zane you need to get up." David said as he and Natalie attempted to move the 200lb. man. Stassie was silent. She cared that Zane had gotten hurt, but she was pissed that he was still thinking about her. Stassie had no interest in dating Zane, but she really enjoyed his attention, and the attention his crush on her brought to the two of them.

The gang got Zane to the floor in a doorway, but thats as far as he would go. He kept whining about Y/N not being there.

"Zane, we have to go to the hospital, it's bad." Natalie leaned over him.

"Is it bad? Is it bad?" Zane lifted his hand off of his forehead and saw that his hand was covered in blood. "Awhhh, it's bad." He groaned. "I don't wanna go, though. I want Y/N to take care of me." Zane closed his eyes.

"Get her on the phone." David told Natalie.

Y/N was fast asleep, but woke up startled when she heard her phone ringing. Her clock said it was 3:04am, and she wondered who would call her right now. She picked up the phone after seeing Natalie's smiling contact picture.

"Hey." Her voice was groggy.

"Hey, um I'm sorry if you were asleep but Zane got hurt and refuses to go to the hospital." Natalie sounded calm, but then again she always sounds calm.

"Why does this involve me? I'm not his babysitter." She said, wanting to go back to sleep. She heard Natalie sigh before speaking again.

"I don't know he keeps saying he wants you, and that you're supposed to take care of him or something. Oh my God, David don't let the blood get on the walls." Natalie sounded slightly panicked now.

At the mention of blood, Y/N knew it was serious, and she also knew how stubborn Drunk Zane was. "Okay, I'm on the way." She got up, begrudgingly and somehow found her keys.

"Zane, Y/N is on the way." Natalie told the bleeding lump on the floor, causing him to immediately sit up.

"Yay!" His intoxicated brain seemed to still be working, so nobody was in too much of a panic.

"We gotta go to the hospital, I'm bleeding." Zane showed the camera the bloody towel in his hand, as if he had just realized he was injured.

"Yeah, can we go now?" Natalie asked, hoping for a positive answer.

"No, we have to wait for Y/N." Zane stood up, keeping pressure on the wound, and started to walk towards the living room. It was as if her being with Zane was more important than his health.

"Straight out of a fucking horror movie." Natalie had her hand on her head, annoyed and exhausted.

"Yeah its a whore-er movie. Hey Stass, you wanna be a part of this movie? Cause you're a whore?" Zane's lust for her had turned into anger and resentment towards Stassie.

"Oh, you wanna bleed some more?" Stassie joked, walking towards the group. Everyone laughed, but the laughter stopped abruptly when there was a knock on the door.

Y/N entered, wearing nothing but American Eagle Christmas boxers and a Clickbait t-shirt. Zane immediately ran up to her, attempting to give her a hug.

"Ewe, there's blood all over you please don't." She pushed him away, making Zane's heart hurt. Her heart really hurt though, when she found out that Stassie was the one that got him hurt. Stassie stood with her friend while Y/N talked to Zane, finally getting him to agree to go to the hospital. The whole group headed outside, stoping in the doorway while Natalie heated up the Tesla.

"I don't wanna put you in my Tesla 'cause I have white seats." David said to Zane.

"White seats." Zane stopped his sentence, trying to gather his thoughts. "Your friend's bleeding to death. White seats. I can't."

Y/N laughed as the camera panned towards her. Everyone piled into the Tesla, Stassie and her friend in the back-back seats, Zane and Y/n in the back, and David and Natalie in the front. Zane attempted to hold the Y/N's hand, but she wouldn't accept his bloody one. She was also pissed that she had been woken up in the middle of the night for this. In the end though she was glad that Zane had such an affinity for her, and seemed to finally prefer her over Stassie.

"It's 3:30 in the morning." David looked around the car as Natalie handed Zane another towel. The awarenesss of the time made Y/N even more tired. She leaned her head against the window, slowly falling asleep. She was aroused out of her mini slumber when David said loudly "Look at the last thing Zane posted on insta-stories!" Showing the camera and the car a picture of Zane in his glasses, smiling.

Y/N thought about how cute Zane was, and about how she wouldn't even be here right now if she didn't have a crush on Zane. But why couldn't she like someone normal, and sane? Why him? Why Zane?

"Raise your hand if you don't think Zane's gonna make it!" David said, raising his hand. Y/N and Natalie raised their hands as well, smiling at the joke.

"Zane, why'd you wake me up just so I could sit in a car with you?" Y/N was annoyed, and wanted to hear him say something nice about her to ease her frustrations.

"Because I want you to take care of me." Zane's puppy dog eyes stared at the beautiful bed-headed mess in front of him.

"The people at the ER can take care of you, I'm sitting here doing nothing." She tried to reason with him, not realizing that he means something else.

"I want you to take care of me forever, and make me a better person." Zane started, Y/N's expression softened. "This wouldn't have happened if I wasn't drunk, and I wouldn't have been drunk if you were mine." Zane couldn't stop speaking, the alcohol holding the gate open so his feelings could pour out.

Y/N got bright red, her stomach filled with butterflies. Everyone else in the car started to pay attention now, realizing Zane was being serious.

"I flirt with Stassie because I'm scared you don't like me, and then flirting with her pushes you away, and then I get sad that you're not around so I drink more, and I just wanna hold you and cuddle you. You make my heart go boom." Zane ruined the moment with his cheezy joke, but she appreciated it anyway. Stassie was really pissed now, a blank expression covering her face.

Y/N laid her head in Zane's lap. "If your blood drips on me, I'm never going on a date with you, ever." She smiled and slept the whole way to the hospital.

When they arrived at the hospital, Stass and her friend decided that its late, so they ubered home. Although everyone knew that she was mad that Y/N showed up, and didn't wanna be around her.

Y/N held Zane's hand while he got stitches, and lay on his hospital bed with him, her head on his shoulder, while they all waited for a nurse to return. When they thought she was asleep, and Zane had sobered up a bit, David asked him, "Dude, you really like her?" as if it was just a drunk thought.

Zane smiled while a nurse was cleaning up the blood that had dried on his face. "Yeah, I do." He rubbed her shoulder.

"Awww!" Natalie smiled at the pair, and took a picture of them so they could remember this for the rest of the long relationship that was to come.

[fictionxlover]

8x01

Let me start off by saying this was a good episode, especially an opening episode. Now let me just break this down by character so it’s easier.

Arya:

I LOVE how Arya is more happier and she is showing more of a soft side. It makes me so emotional how happy she is right now even though impending doom is on its way. The Jon/Arya reunion was SO BEAUTIFUL! Her jumping into his arms like old times, the smiles, Jon showing her the weapon. I also love how it highlighted that they will ALWAYS love each other but both of them have changed. You saw more of that when Arya defended Sansa. Arya is not that innocent 10 year old who enjoyed talking shit about Sans with Jon lmao like she has grown into a young woman, and has got this closure/closer with her sister. And ik some will be like ‘ARYA WOULD NEVER-’ but...yall said Arya instincts are always right (I saw it particually with last season too during Stark Sis Bowl lol) so if Arya says Sansa is just looking out for the fam, I believe her. And I think it made Jon be like, huh my little sister has grown and I trust her instincts. Also, again before haters jump on um c’mon, realistically at least 8/10 of us as adults see one of our siblings differently than we saw them as children. That’s just a fact. Moving on, um, GENDRYAAAA!! There reunion was more than I EVER expected! Her defending him, teasing him, smiling, gendry smiling, but also like woah is this beautiful lady flirting with me?? It was BEAUTIFUL!! I have some fears but I’m just going to try enjoy them moment. Overall, THIS WAS MY GIRL’S EPISODE YALL-

Sam:

I felt so bad for Sam this episode. At first he is excited to meet another Targaryen then he finds out that she burned his family alive. What I loved about this scene is that it kinda made Sam’s rose colored glasses fall off. I feel like after being friends with Aemon, and learning the stories, Sam saw the Targaryens in just a positive light. It reminded me how young Sansa believed all those stories about true knights but then reality punched her in the face. Just like it did with Sam. Not every Targaryen is a bad person but they do have their flaws. Their way of justice might not be what we think is morally right but in their eyes its justice. Then him trying to pull it together, and reuniting with Jon was beautiful. But...….sorry Sam telling Jon the truth kinda ruined the reveal for me. I can’t even disagree what Sam said about ‘would dany kneel for you?’ but it seemed like his resentment with Dany overpowered the reveal. It made it more about jon might overthrow dany than jon being shocked and trying to process everything. Also BRAN SHOULD HAVE TOLD JON BUT WHATEVER D&D

Tyrion:

Tyrion, Tyrion, Tyrion.....I like show!Tyrion more than book!Tyrion but they really dumbed his ass down. He really thinks Cersei is coming???? WITH HELP??? I can’t tell if he knows the truth and is just playing the game or if he actually believes his sister??? it would work at any of those ways because Tyrion’s fatal flaw is that he always wanted to be accepted by his family. His abusers basically. So, I won’t be surprised if any of these options are true. 

Daenerys:

Let me tell you guys I like Dany, I LOVVEEE Book!Dany more but I have to confess I have Stark stan reactions first. So it takes me while to be like let me take a step back and see this from Dany’s pov. I understand Dany is basically like I am here to FIGHT FOR YOU and yall just disrespectful. I feel bad for her when Jon isn’t really defending her in PUBLIC. I felt bad when Sam cried and she was like fuck. I feel kinda bad for her that Sansa doesn’t like her. But Dany...some of her reactions is....just D&D bs. 

First of all let’s talk about dragons. Dragonriders are suppose to have this special connection with there dragons. Not every random person can just hop on a fucking dragon. With Jon it makes sense he could because he is a Targaryen. However, Dany doesn’t know that! So yeah its cute her FWB is riding her other dragon but its weird she isn’t having alarms ringing in her head. Then why are yall making her sound like a 17 year old ‘we can stay here forever’, sis do you even like the North? You’re dragons are low key dying in this area lmao. And its just cringy. Why can’t yall show Jon/Dany talking to each other. Telling each other about their lives. Why is it just cringy fan fiction bs??? Even I’m like let me try get into this rl but they offer nothing and the chem is just not there between these actors. Its not there fault but its hard to even like them when we do not get more intimate moments with them getting to know the other. 

Now lets talk about Dansa. I believe Dany thought Sansa would be more warm to her but once Sansa said ‘Winterfell is yours’ Dany knew, Sansa doesn’t like her. She’s not here because she believes in Dany. Sansa is doing this because she HAS to. And that pissed Dany off. And I think Dany doesn’t like how Sansa brings up stuff in the meetings too. They should be brought up and Dany is like ugh this girl hates me lmao. Its interesting to me because I’m pretty sure this is the first time Dany has to communicate with other rulers/kinda queens. 

I feel like Dany’s journey before Westeros, people bowed down to her or worshipped/believed in her quickly. But in Westeros that’s not how its going to be especially considering her family history. She will have to earn their respect/belief and I think so far Dany hates it and not use to it taking so long. Even with Jon she said Sansa has to respect me or...XD. Listen I’m not saying Dany was threatening to exile or burn Sansa but you can tell she getting impatient. 

I am looking forward to Dansa scenes next episode though. Was this Dany’s episode? A little but I believe like Sam the colored glasses are falling off and she is realizing its not going to be easy. None of it is.

Bran: I really love how Bran is showing more emotion than he did last season. He seemed more emotional reuniting with Jon, got frustrated when they weren’t focusing on the threat. It’s showing that Bran is not dead. He is still in there. What I enjoyed the most about this episode is that it showed that Bran knows what needs to be done. It makes you wonder if he can see into the future or knows something? He knew to wait for Jaime already. It just makes you wonder...how far in the future can Bran see into and what time travel shit is going to happen lol. 

I believe Bran has one goal to defeat the NK and he is going to tell everyone to shut the hell up and get to work. What I didn’t like with Bran was how he said Jon isn’t my brother, you tell him. Does Bran have some resentment towards Ned? Is he going to treat Jon differently a bit? Did he say that because he already knows what will happen???? I just have a lot of questions yall -

Jon: *sighs* There are two well maybe 3 possible reasons for Jon’s behavior. 

1) He has some sort of agenda

2) He just a Northern Fool making the same mistakes Ned/Robb made, death didn’t change him and that’s D&D’s fault.

3) He is a Northern fool BUT the battle of winterfell will shake and fuck him up sm that it will guide him on a path to make better decisions, and growth. 

I loved Jon’s scenes with Arya, Bran, and Sansa. Jon hugging Bran so tight and joking about him being a man now. Then with Arya holding her tight, crying. It was SO emotional. I feel like with both Bran and Arya he saw they are them but have changed just like Jon. He loves all his siblings sm and Ik in his heart the choices he makes is because he doesn’t want to lose them. 

I also enjoyed his scenes with Sansa. I always said since s6, Jon/Sansa show sm vulnerability with their eye contact and emotional reactions, this episode proved its still there. Sansa bringing up her resentment towards Jon bending the knee, him trying to convince her that Dany is good, but then we get that moment we’re he is like do you have faith in me still? And Sansa eyes looked teary and said of course. It shows Jon just wants Sansa to believe and have faith in him. And Sansa just wants to protect the family, which includes Jon, and is sadden Jon doesn’t well not respect her opinion but still doesn’t take her advice to heart? And I feel this showed when he was badmouthing Sansa to Arya and Dany. 

I mean it makes sense to Dany he would be like she didn’t like me growing up, to cool Dany down that Sansa is hard to get to know....but with Arya...it was like he wanted another fam member to agree with him. That Sansa is an arrogant, thinks she smarter bitch and knows nothing. Then when he got a different reaction from a more mature, older Arya, I think it shooked him. He even mentioned Sansa needs remember I am her family. It’s like Jon thought he was in a different time. That its s1 and they all are children. But once Arya defends Sansa, Jon realizes woah things are different, we all are different. It just shows Jon still has some resentment towards Sansa like Arya did last season with Sansa but they all have to move on. Jon still is seeking approval like Tyrion kinda with the Lannisters but they need to stop and move on. 

Jon’s relationship with Dany is up and down for me. I love him getting to know other Targaryen, like in the dragonpit scene in s7 and them riding dragons together but the romantic aspect of their relationship if off to me like I said in the Dany part. They never talk. Yes they talk business, and they say fanfic things but I want an ACTUAL intimate, conversation when they are talking about the past, present, and future. They are trying to understand each other. WHERE THE HELL IS THAT?? 

I loved Jon riding a dragon and his experience was so realistic except I would be having a panic attack after and Dany would have to give me my pill and hold me lmao but I still don’t like how they don’t have a real talk. Also, Jon never defends her in public too???? All he says is I had no choice. BITCH SHE LITERALLY SAID I WILL FIGHT FOR YOU YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO SAY I BEND THE KNEE TILL AFTER WAR DUMBASS-

i’m sorry jon stans but its true. there are just so many times you can say he is doing it for greater good. it just seems like jon caused more drama. then not having a reaction to what sam’s fam went through??? your bff’s fam?? And being like that would be treason, and being like I executed men before. Yes you have Jon but in certain situations. When they are being disrespectful assholes. I’m not saying what Dany did was wrong or right  but we all know the character of Jon Snow. I don’t think he would actually burn someone with a dragon except if he HAS to or he lost his mind. I like the idea of Jon losing his mind but we can’t have nice things in this show djhjfhlfk. 

the reveal again was overpowered by sam and I feel like Jon believed it too easily. yes he knows sam would never lie but he should have stomped over to bran right after. its just TOO EASY. 

Listen, Jon and Dany are flawed characters. I still like them but I’m also not afraid to call them out on some things I don’t agree with. Idc they are song of ice and fire lmao XD

Theon: My boi Theon came through. He is going to fight for the Starks and die for them like he SHOULD HAVE. That’s all I have to say. Also THEONSA MIGHT RISE YALL-

Euron: This Euron is no book!Euron but this man still confuses me lmao. Like he acts like he is in POTC, all he wants to do is fuck the queen which I think is code for I want her to have my baby then ima kill her ass. Like if he actually outwits/kill cersei….I will be mad but also be like well that was expected???

Bronn: This is so predicable I can’t even right now. He’s either going to kill one or both or the Lannister bros , get killed or fight with them. If there’s some other twist? COOL. but rn i’m like really? You want me to believe that Jaime or Tyrion will fucking die by Bronn’s hands? Crossbow imagery is fucking high grade A+ Lannister tragedy excellence but Cersei should pull the trigger not fucking Bronn.

Jaime: Book!Jaime is pulling through rn. I’m not one of those people who are like he is on a redemeption arc. Jaime doesn’t have to do that. But I am interested with his rl with Bran, Brienne, and what he does. Also, I hope he is like Dany sis your father was crazy XD

Cersei: I felt bad when my girl had to fuck Euron. Cersei is on that S3 Azula energy. She is losing her MIND and knows she is losing. And it’s making her more crazier. Then the fact that Jaime left her too. It reminds me when Zuko went on Team Avatar side and Azula was like FUCK YOU TRAITOR I’LL MEET YOU AT DAWN FOR THE FIGHT OF THE CENTURY ASSHOLE XD

Also, Azula lost her mind when Ty Lee and Mai betrayed her too. Cersei has NO one like Azula did and now she is just losing it. I really hope she has more of a plan and is not just going to make impulsive choices then die for it. I need one last thing from Cersei. Kill Euron in bed, do something.

Sansa: It’s funny because Arya seems the most happiest rn while Sansa is more anxious and protective. Sansa is not happy Dany is here. I want to compare this situation to something yall might understand more. 

Modern AU TIME: The stark siblings parents have died and unfortunately the oldest brother Robb has died as well. Robb has the left Jon the Stark family home. Now Jon’s name might be on the deed but he makes mistakes, leaves, and Sansa who cares a lot about the home/family runs it. Then one day Jon comes back and says hey I got married to this girl you never met, her name is Dany, also she owns the house with me now, and will stay with us. Now would you be 110% accepting or would you have some resentments and wary? 

YOU WOULD BE LIKE WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?! WHY ARE YOU IN MY HOME? JON WHERE WERE YOU? WHY DIDN’T YOU SEND A TEXT? WHAT YOU MEAN YOU BEND THE KNEE??? WHAT THE FUCK-

We all know Dany can be sweet and loving but Sansa doesn’t know that. Sansa is one of the last political savvy characters on this show. She said it last season, Dany is here for the throne. She wants people to bend the knee. North is one of those kingdoms. Yes, Dany said she would fight for the North but Sansa isn’t Jon. She doesn’t know Dany and just looks at the facts. 

What I find funny again too because this Dansa war is hilarious is that when Sansa says something in public that is also shady to Dany...its also a subject that needs to be brought up. It’s not like Sansa is saying your a stupid bitch in public. She is saying we need feed everyone and I wasn’t counting on your soldiers and dragons. What do your dragons eat? Dany comeback was KILLER but we also see the dragons are NOT happy and NOT getting enough of food. 

Also, I find it hilarious because last season some of us were mentioning Sansa preparing the North, and some were like that doesn’t matter. But it does???? Which makes sense but I’m also shocked they mentioned it. I think this Dansa war will end but them having conflict isn’t shocking. They have sm in common but they are also very different individuals. Could Sansa be more nice to Dany? Yes, but she’s Sansa and after her experience I can see why she isn’t accepting to Dany. At a young age she was accepting to Lannisters and looked what happened.

I loved Sansa/Tyrion reunion. I loved how Tyrion praised Sansa, how Sansa said sorry even though she didn’t have to, but also her shading Tyrion. It was the BEST. And I think it made Tyrion be like oh shit maybe she right- XD

I already talked about Jon/Sansa scene but again it shows Sansa cares for family/home and it saddens her Jon doesn’t take her advice to heart. Also, I did love she had the guts to say did you bend for the good or cuz you like her? Cuz business and feelings always gets mixed up. It also teases that Sansa is basically saying you did the opposite of what I told you again, you are following robb/ned mistakes.

Some might be annoyed at Sansa like some might be annoyed by Dany but I think this episode showed that Sansa is protective of her family and is doing her duty has a Stark. 

White Walkers: I don’t even know what to say to that. Some say it looks like a Targaryen sigil maybe who knows. I’m just going to wait and see how they explain the WWs.

Basically this episode was a good start to the impending doom but shows it’s not going to be easy for any of them. 

(btw we all have different opinions, i’m okay with talking and agreeing to disagree but no hate please :) )

[kittysmallz]

Let me just get some things straight with yall

“I support them but this is still wrong, Jennie shouldn’t have done this to the girls.”

“I’m okay with it but they should have been careful of the knetz.”

“Blackpink is ruined.”

You know the problems most likely starts with you if you think an idol dating is wrong and tainting to a group, right? The more people that think like that decreases, the more things like this wouldn’t matter. The problems probably starts with you if you think the three other girls will feel nothing but resentment towards Jennie. These are girls in their 20’s, singing about love, performing about it too, but unable to date, not because of Yg, but because the majority of the population hates it. You think Yg bans his artists from dating just cause? No, it’s because yall hate it lol. But if you keyboard warrior virgins learn to love more and hate less, you’ll know that the problem starts with you and the answer starts with you also. It’s real simple. Let people live and love. I’m also tired of reading Korean articles of fans using words like “investments.” Like investing into what? Kai and Jennie’s love? Like what???? Supporting someone shouldn’t be called investment. It’s bad enough that knetz are unsupportive and toxic, at the least we shouldn’t be. We’re better than that.

[florcarrow]

Merlin’s beard, what is ( FLORA CARROW ) doing out at this hour? For a ( PUREBLOOD ) who is ( 17 ) years old, ( SHE ) really ought to know better. You know, I hear that they’re aligned with ( THE NEUTRALS ), but that could be just a rumor. I do know that they’re ( A CIS-WOMAN ) and a ( SLYTHERIN ) student though. They’re very ( QUAINT ) and ( INTROSPECTIVE ) but also quite ( STOIC ) and ( HAUGHTY ), which could be why they remind of ( STAINED PAGES, FROM CRUSHED LILLIES IN THE PLACE OF BOOKMARKS; GHOSTLY WHISPERS FROM THE INSIDE OF A CLOSED ROOM, ALLUDING TO ANGER, TO FEAR, TO LOVE; THE SOUND OF BUBBLING AND FOAMING, BUT THE ABSENCE OF WARMTH ). Some people say they’re the spitting image of ( SOPHIE TURNER ), but I’ve never heard of them. ( &&. CAMI. 19. GMT. SHE/HER. )

hey yall, cami here. i’m really tired but take this please ily k bye

THE CARROWS

" we are the children of magic itself. " her mother used to put it all in quite a poetic manner. the small house, gloomy and damp, had a floating candle under each painting and photograph of long-forgotten carrows, once the ministers and headmasters of entire generations. blunders happened along the way, as it happened to every other pureblood family, and the paintings were thrown in the fireplace or into the creek running behind the property - the carrows had a deeply ingrained culture of glorifying their legacy, but ruthlessly turning it to ash should it not benefit them.

the great fortune of old was wasted by lavish living, and by the time achos carrow married to an insignificant selwyn, the debt ran deep - certainly aided by the heavy involvement of the family in the first wizarding war. in the stories flora was told, they were martyrs, sacrificing their kin and gold for a greater purpose, mourning the injustice of her uncle amycus and aunt alecto, behind bars. of course, it was easy to let stories fester in the minds of children, miles away from the truth - achos and ellaine had moved to a plot of land hidden between the welsh mounds shortly before their children arrived, and for far too many years, they lived mostly in their own forgotten country, where north was down, south was up, history was a puzzle they would rearrange.

their marriage is a happy one, the product of two lifelong friends with their minds set on one cause only, with the same trains of thought. after giving birth to twin girls, the couple saw in them the tabua rasa they so yearned for at work, in the department of magical education. try as they might, children had entire lives before going to hogwarts, and their efforts, even if the rest of the department wasn't in the way most times, was purely too little too late. hestia and flora would change that, becoming their personal experiments.

CHILDHOOD

given how well little flora took to stories, the carrows would spend endless hours sitting down with her, spewing all thoughts they saw fit, and she'd stare, deep in concentration, quiet end still, what an exemplary student. the image they so carefully curated of a small, charming and polite family was spreading.

soon, however, the well-screened tutors and especially the words of her parents were not enough. flora took to reading as soon as she learned how, and in books she could find new subjects, different people they'd never mentioned, fantasy that sounded much more real than the hollow concept of the dark lord. magic was all around her, but in those pages and in the dusty illustrations she felt every spell. once a little girl who did not ask questions, flora became a fountain of confusions, mostly met with 'who told you that?'.

the frustration towards the younger twin only grew over time. flora's favourite game became a sort of hide and seek, where she'd hide somewhere in the house or the rest of the property, telling no soul or perhaps hestia, at times, and waiting until the screams with her name began. it was fascinating to count how long it took for her little world to notice her absence, how they'd react, how sometimes her mother would begin crying after some hours, how a relative or family friend might be called in to help scour the fields for the little girl. there was something powerful in observing annoyance, anger, and above all fear, yet control when it all starts, when it all ends. in a place strictly manipulated by the two gods of the house, this was when she turned the tables, even if just for a bit. eventually, however, concern faded away. by twelve, she could disappear for the longest stretches, as long as she returned without a speck of dirt and in time for lessons or dinner - and of course, if she didn't meet with anyone but the household.

as a sidenote, someone bring hestia, lets plot more then, cmON

HOGWARTS

before going to hogwarts, flora and hestia had gone to the usual parties and celebrations the purebloods so fancied, and some ministry events where they could be shown off like school projects. they hadn't, however, seen much more than that. the prospect of getting wands, robes, boarding on a train - all little things that identified them as beings, individuals who were more than just a name and affiliation - it meant the world for flora. she relished in the way the shop owner told her father he couldn't keep giving flora the wands the man suggested until the exact one he envisioned worked. she held her ticket with the care one touches thin glass. she walked around the train with a smile thrown at every other first year kid, even began conversations with some. some people in her year still tease her about how much she's changed since that day.

the hat placed on her head took a minute or so to decide, being pulled in the directions of slytherin and ravenclaw, but flora knew which answer would make her parents, two slytherin alumni, the most satisfied. now she wonders if the opposite choice would have positioned her in any way farther away from the heart of the conflict.

flora grew quite happy at hogwarts. the library was the stuff of dreams, the classes a fresh new world, and she'd been lucky enough (or so she'd thought) to have gone to school the same year as the boy who lived, a story that she could never quite believe, even with the boy sitting in class right in front of her. in many ways, flora saw herself as the observer of the perfect spectacle throughout the years, her journals serving as the proof that she'd been the face in the crowd of the myths. flora read other points of view at the library, and heard them in her common room, creating in her mind her own narrative of harry potter, of the war, of the carrows.

her personal library grew even more during school. the easy access to other kids and to hogsmeade resulted in trunks getting heavier and heavier every summer, even sometimes with muggle names she couldn't dare let her family see. to her, none of that ever mattered. words were words, no matter who wrote them, and all she cared about was what incredible tales they told and how they made her feel.

her studious nature thrived at hogwarts, and her grades, while not beyond impressive, were rather good. flora always loved potions above all. she did quite well at all subjects, but she got into the slughorn club not only because of her name, but because of her talent. it was the one thing that felt precise and rational when everything else wasn’t.

while she was a quiet figure, either lurking in some forgotten couch in the common room, on her bed, or beneath a tree, flora showed to the people at hogwarts something her parents only got inklings of. her words often carried venom, and her words an edge as sharp as a cut - a few people even got frontstage to what happened when flora carrow held too much of that poison in herself and it spilled out, the burning flame of anger, the way her voice would at last raise above a whisper.

her parents feared that spark they sometimes saw. she was becoming a volatile little thing, a disgrace upon their projects and a threat to the legacy they'd been so carefully building. a few months ago a discussion began over what to do, a very public one, as a way to instill fear in the girl: perhaps flora needed a proper marriage plan, just like her grandparents and just like far too many of her peers - someone who'd control her, who'd bring some much-needed coin to the family, someone to DISTRACT her. they did, after all, always know of her affection for hopelessly romantic tales, even if they'd never heard of any boy she'd daydream of (and they never would). perhaps flora needed a goal, a purpose like the oath other people from her school had taken upon, like her uncle and aunt before her. a good potioneer like her could become a valuable investment for the dark lord.

HEADCANONS

as much as flora hates to admit it, there’s this hunger for power in the back of her mind that she can’t shut down. she enjoys feeling important, like the name she carries or the blood in her veins places her higher in a contest for worthiness.

umbridge was a personal friend of her parents, and flora saw her as the intrusion of the manipulating hand she knew all summer in the few months she had of freedom. resenting it, she did the most to fail the class, being called to her office often to discuss how her parents would be embarrassed and how dolores believed she could do much better. she just barely finished it.

how does flora feel about the whole muggleborn ‘debate’? she never really cared about it. it was too removed from her. it never personally affected her. she didn’t go out of her way to bully and attack muggleborns or ‘blood traitors’, but she wouldn’t exactly tell others to stop. perhaps insist that she was bored and they should just leave. she never stopped to analyze why she did that sometimes. she just doesn’t care. in fact, all of the events of late seem to barely make an impression upon her, except when they come with the threat of her having to actively participate in it. flora sees the entire conflict as the mighty pureblooded families losing relevancy and trying their hardest to gain it back; a petty little thing - she doesn't, however, grasp the reality that people have died for it, and innocents have been murdered. the details require emotional introspect she does not possess.

she is !! practically mute but if u get her to talk u see bitch is actually very angry?? all the time?? hulk whomst.  angry and annoyed and detached

flora has a hard time grasping the emotional weight of events unless she's writing about them. ever since she can remember, flora has kept journals, parts of it accounts of her days, most of it short stories and poems that serve as practice writing and as a fictionalization of the harsh reality around her. reading dumbledore's murder or the murder of ministry officials little stories about the fragility of mankind and the shortcomings of magic simply makes it easier to understand and cope with.

she loves potions and books. her dream is to just be an old witch living in a forest cottage in wales with ten cats and an equally as quiet girlfriend, brewing the potions that take weeks to complete, writing poems she forgets to put away, the scent of lavender in the air almost sickening.

flora has a little garden at home which she loves with all her heart. she truly cares for her plants, despite how much on the nose that is with her name. at hogwarts she keeps a couple of small pots hidden in the greenhouse.

doesn't own a single pair of jeans or pants. will live her entire life in dresses and skirts and is just fine like that.

she thinks the people fighting against the death eaters are also stupid and cruel. literally takes the term neutral and turns it into apathy and will openly speak about it with that specific dosage of venom should she trust you enough.

your back hurts? your hair needs to grow faster? want to poison someone? flora will gladly brew little batches of potions in her spare time and sell them within school grounds.

lowkey needs a hug and someone who'll take the time to really listen to hER

she also likes to walk around at night, trying her best not to get caught at home by her parents and by prefects at school. it freaks people out when at 3am they hear footsteps and the light from a wand, even if just around the room or the common area. she likes the creepy factor, completely embraces it, people sometimes find her reading with her back to their front doors or doing homework behind some plants in the greenhouse. dark forgotten places are her places.

she has a cat, he’s old and ugly and his name is moros like the greek god of doom. he hates everyone, most times including flora. he's not a nice cat and she'd tear a man limb by limb for him.

flor is constantly writing. unfinished projects are her thing. poetry, prose, plays, journaling. poetry is what she usually dedicates herself most. she has an eye for rhythm in words, and feelings. everything she writes is always either too hopeful and naive, or pessimistic and sad. she doesn’t know an in-between. that goes to say for her life as well. flora dreams of all the pretty perfect pure things she knows aren’t real. all the well-intentioned kisses and soft pink flowery dresses flowing in the wind, and small cottages in the middle of a field and delicate generations old tea sets. this pristine romanticized aesthetic

on the other hand, when her writing is sad, it’s not just sad. it’s miserable. it’s worrying. she talks about that even less. all the scary intrusive thoughts that come to her mind. all the holes she can’t explain why she could never fill. all the numbness that attacks her some days and she can’t fight it back. this loneliness that makes no sense.

okay in a nutshell, she loves her sister more than anything and anyone in the world, she is more naive than she lets on, she doesn’t let on much because she’s so quiet, she loves books and has pretty hair. this wasn’t mentioned anywhere but she does.