#also i feel like if i was an artist performing i would rather see all my fans dancing around and singing and having fun
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lurkingshan · 12 hours ago
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Japanese QL Corner
We have officially entered another bangers only era for Japanese queer media; I am loving all of these currently airing shows. These are all streaming on Gaga or provided via fansub (feel free to ask if you don’t know where to find them).
Our Youth
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This show is killing me with the quiet yearning and the push and pull and Hirukawa's whole entire deal. The way Hirukawa and Minase keep drawing closer together before stepping back. The way they have created their own little bubble in Minase's home, and how they can't be that way together in other spaces. The way Hirukawa is so desperate to be close to Minase and Minase clearly wants it too, but doesn't really understand himself yet and so keeps rejecting it. I was so sad when Hirukawa admitted he provoked his dad on purpose so that Minase would let him back in; I hope Minase will ease off on the barriers from here on out. I know something bad is coming and I just want them to have a little bit of happiness before we get there.
Love is Like a Poison
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The battle couple was tested this week as we finally found out Haruto's connection to this case with an assist from the lady restaurant owner, his past as a con artist was revealed to Shiba's employer, and Shiba's boss demanded that he cut ties. I was so very proud of Shiba when he did not waver about what is most important to him, and worried when Haruto took off and left his ring behind. I'm keeping the faith, though; I don't think Haruto is leaving Shiba.
Love in the Air Koi
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Okay, first of all, let me get a scream out about that sex scene, because good god did they deliver. Nagumo Shoma is a gift to us all (I will be seeing that back roll in my dreams), and I thought their chemistry now that Rei has figured himself out was fantastic. The whole sequence from the time they left the race track was beautifully shot and performed, and the intimacy felt very real. Aside from the sex, one of the things I like most about this narrative is the belief that a relationship can be the reason you get your life together rather than a distraction from your goals. Rei has all the skills, but he's been lacking focus and drive, and that's exactly what Arashi is giving him. I really liked the way this episode weaved their different subplots together to show them both working toward something, and how their success brought them together in the end. They are good for each other! I also really loved all the Rei and Kai moments in this episode, and that Kai continues to be a perceptive and supportive friend. Kai's own story is coming soon, and we got our first glimpses of it at the end of today's episode. I'm impressed with how this adaptation has streamlined the story to cover every important beat in half the time without ever short changing the relationships.
The Fragrance You Inherit
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This week Sakura was reunited with her long lost love via their scheming children, and I loved every minute. My favorite thing about this drama is the relationship writing. Sakura and Toki have such a lovely bond, and I like that he realized after surprising his mom with Mone that it may have been insensitive, and that he cared enough to check in with her about it. Sakura is also a great mom, supportive of his relationship and sensitive to his feelings even as she is grappling with her own shock at this reunion. I also really love that Sakura has such a good friend in Ryosuke (who continues to flag as queer to me). I'm excited to get to know Mone better as an adult and see where the story takes us. You can find the show here, with big thanks as always to @isaksbestpillow for providing English subs.
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starlightkun · 5 months ago
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omg ur seats for a.c.e were soooo good 🤭 i'm glad u had a good time!! i want to be a phones away at concerts person but then a song i love comes on and i HAVE to record it 😭😭😭 i'm sry to hear the vibes were off,, that literally sucks 😔 like u came to a concert?? to listen to good music?? and ur not gonna jump around and dance and have the time of ur life?? bffr 🤠 n e ways love u mel and we r the same concert goers 😌🤌🏻
xoxoxo anon
to me it's not like a big moral thing abt keeping my phone away at concerts like i get why ppl have them out and want to record it (and i am not better than them), but i never look at my old concert videos that i do have, and would much rather experience the concert while im there fully than just watching it through my own phone screen while the concert is happening ten feet in front of me and constantly stressing abt if im getting a good video or not. and unless im barricade, there's always gonna be somebody closer who is taking a better video than i could and is gonna post it somewhere ykno?
one of the best parts of going to a concert by yourself (as i do) imo, is that you're never gonna see the ppl around you ever again, so you can do whatever u want!! have fun, jump around, dance silly, sing bad, scream a little too much when your bias looks in your direction, whatever!!! idk it's so crazy to me when ppl go to a concert and r just 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️ standing there
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piinksdoll · 1 month ago
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→ [Bed Chem | Spencer Reid]
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Pairing~ Spencer Reid x Singer!Reader
Genre~ fluff, very suggestive
Word Count~ 2.2k
Warnings~ sexual innuendos, spencer being an awkward cutie
a/n~ very fluffy and cute but also VERY suggestive, and I know some of the lyrics down match up with spence so pls dont hate me also I just used a photo of sab so dont hate me it was just to visualize!!! also NOT PROOFREAD!!!! also I added links to visualize for me people who are visual-izers lol k have fun!
part 1!! part 2!!
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(Narrator POV)
Penelope had gathered everyone in her apartment for her usual get-together, but this time, she seemed particularly excited about something. She wouldn’t stop grinning, and none of the team could get a straight answer about what they were about to listen to. Spencer would rather be at home with you, since days that you're in Virginia are scarce, but you insisted he hang out with his friends. He sat in Penelope’s apartment excited for the night to be over so he could return home to you.
“Come on, Babygirl, spill it,” Derek said, giving her an exasperated look. “What’s this surprise? Is it a podcast? Audiobook? Something crime-related?”
“Oh, it's so much better than that!” Penelope said with a mischievous look in her eye. “It’s music! A new artist I’m obsessed with. Her name is Y/n Y/l/n and she's so amazing you’re going to love her! We’re listening to her new album Short n’ Sweet, she only has a performance out for Bed Chem so we’re going to start off with that!”
The fact that she had chosen your album had made Spencer uncharacteristically nervous, and now that Penelope was about to press play on a song about him, his unease was starting to become visible. Spencer stiffened beside Derek, his fingers nervously twitching at his sides. He knew this album very well. Penelope pressed play, and the first beats of ‘Bed Chem’ by you started filling the room. The sultry intro immediately set the tone, and Spencer swallowed hard. He could feel the heat rise in his cheeks. Of all the songs.
I was in a sheer dress the day that we met
We were both in a rush, we talked for a sec
Your friend hit me up so we could connect
And what are the odds? You sent me a text…
Emily raised an eyebrow, intrigued. “Ooh, this sounds fun.” JJ nodded along, smiling. “It’s catchy.” But it wasn’t long before the lyrics kicked in, and as Spencer listened to the opening lyrics he recalled how you two met:
Flashback
(Y/n POV)
“Listen, I know I have all these things to do but I just need time ok? The album needs something, I am not at all ready for it to come out. It's literally all just sad, and there needs to be something else apart from it. Nat, please just a few more months and you can release it no matter what- oh my, i'm so sorry that was totally my fault!” I exclaimed seeing coffee spill all over the coat of the stranger in front of me. My phone fell on the ground  between us landing under the books that had slipped from his hand. I look up and am met with big brown eyes that look like chocolate I can just melt in.
The stranger in front of me gasped slightly, looking down at his now coffee-stained coat. "No, no, it's okay!" he reassured me, his voice soft but flustered as he knelt down to gather his fallen books. I crouched quickly, reaching for my phone that had landed just beneath one of his thick textbooks.
“I’m really sorry,” I said again, glancing up at him once again as our hands brushed while reaching for the same book. His eyes met mine, and for a moment, I was struck by how gentle his expression was, despite the mess I had made.
He smiled softly, his eyes crinkling at the edges in a way that made my heart skip a beat. "Really, it's fine," he said, handing me the phone. "Accidents happen." I let out a small, relieved laugh, grateful he wasn’t upset. “I’ll buy you a new coat or at least pay for the dry cleaning. Seriously, I’m-”
“You don’t have to do that,” he interrupted, standing up and shaking his head. “It’s just coffee. I can clean it up.” I straightened, still feeling embarrassed. “At least let me buy you a coffee. You know, to replace the one I spilled.” I offered, hoping to make up for my clumsiness. He looked at me for a moment, considering it, a small smile tugged at the corners of his lips. “Alright. But only if you’ll let me grab a seat and hear why you’re so stressed out.” He motioned towards the phone I had been mid-conversation with when we collided. I blinked, surprised by his easy going nature. "Deal," I said, smiling cheekily up at him “But, uh... I didn’t catch your name.” He extended a hand. "Spencer. Spencer Reid."
I shook his hand, feeling the warmth of his touch as I introduced myself. “Nice to meet you, Spencer. I'm Y/n.”
Flashback Over
And now the next thing I know, I'm like
Manifest that you're oversized
I digress, got me scrollin' like 
Out of breath, got me goin' like
Who's the cute boy with the white jacket and the thick accent? Like
Ooh, maybe it's all in my head
But I bet we'd have really good bed chem
Spencer’s stomach dropped as the next set of lyrics filled the room. Penelope was still humming along, enjoying the vibe of the song, completely oblivious to the growing nervousness inside of him.“‘Manifest that you're oversized... Out of breath, got me goin' like...’” Penelope sang along under her breath. She glanced over at Spencer and caught him staring at the floor, his body stiff. 
“Oh, this one’s so good! It’s got that flirty energy.” Derek laughed. “It’s catchy, for sure. I wonder who the song is about though?” He grinned, “Bet the dude is feelin’ pretty lucky.” Spencer's breath hitched as the chorus started
How you pick me up, pull me down, turn me 'round, oh, it just makes sense
How you talk so sweet when you're doin' bad things, that's bed (bed) chem (chem) 
How you're lookin' at me, yeah, I know what that means and I'm obsessed 
Are you free next week? I'd bet we'd have really good
Spencer’s mind was racing as the sound of your voice fills the room. He knew everyone was at ease and him being stiff and sweating was putting a spotlight on him. Emily let out a low chuckle as the suggestive lyrics played. “This girl is something else. I don’t know who she’s singing about, but they must be good.” She raised an eyebrow, half-joking, but Spencer could feel his heart racing.
Come right on me I mean, camaraderie 
Said you're not in my timezone, but you wanna be 
Where art thou? Why not uponeth me? 
See it in my mind, let's fulfil the prophecy Ooh (ah) 
He takes in a sharp breath at the racy lyrics. His pulse quickened, and he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. The team continued to listen, oblivious to the internal panic flooding his body. Each line felt more like a spotlight aimed directly at him. Derek let out a low whistle, eyebrows raising at the suggestive turn in the song. “Damn. This song is getting real interesting.” He laughed at Spencer’s uncomfortable state, completely unaware of the significance behind it.
JJ chuckled, swaying her head to the beat. “I love how bold she is! Whoever this song is about… they are very lucky.” Spencer’s hands gripped the edge of his seat, his face heating up. He could feel Emily’s eyes subtly watching him from across the room. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could endure this.
Who's the cute guy with the wide, brown eyes and the big bad, mmm, like? 
Ooh (ah) I know it sound a bit redundant 
But I bet we'd have really good bed chem
As the song ended Spencer let out a breath he wasn't aware he was holding in, thankful that the song was over. “What's up, pretty boy? Couldn't handle a pretty girl singing bout bad things?” Derek teased him, throwing an arm around his shoulders, his grin wide. As he was about to respond his phone rang, Spencer’s heart nearly jumped out of his chest when his phone buzzed on the table. The screen lit up with your name and contact photo, one of you smiling brightly. The entire team froze, their eyes slowly shifting from the phone to Spencer, then back to the phone.
Derek’s grin widened even more, his teasing now taking on a new level. “Well, well, well… Look who it is.” he said, still keeping his arm draped over Spencer’s shoulder. “Is this the mystery girl you've been so secretive about these past few months?” Penelope's eyes widened in excitement. “Oh my gosh, Spencer! Are you going to answer? You have to answer.” JJ leaned in closer, a sly smile tugging at her lips. “This explains a lot, actually,” she said, glancing from Spencer to the phone, Emily finished her sentence. “Especially that song.” Spencer shook his head trying to hide his blush as he answered the phone.
“Hey Y/n”
‘Hey lover, you havin fun?’
“Yeah, uh, the night took an interesting turn…”
‘Oh? How so?’
“Yeah, uh so Penelope invited us over and turns out it was a listening party… for your album…”
‘Oh- that hilarious oh my’
“Yeah and they just heard Bed Chem and they saw you called me…”
‘Oh my- HAHA thats so funny whattt’
“Yeah, they wanna meet you now.”
‘Well good because I've been wanting to meet them! Can you finally introduce us?’
“Alright well I guess it’s time. You're my person, I want you to meet my family.”
‘Well I can't wait. What about you invite them to my concert next weekend in DC and we can go to dinner afterwards?’
“Sounds perfect, like you, I'll see you at home I love you.”
‘Love you too. See ya lover’
Spencer returned to the group after hanging up, slipping his phone into his pocket. He tried to keep his expression neutral, but the warmth from your call still lingered on his face. As he sat down, the team was waiting for him, grins plastered across their faces, eyes twinkling with mischief. Derek was the first to break the silence, leaning in with a smirk. “So, pretty boy, you and Y/n Y/l/n, huh? Sounds like she’s got you all wrapped up in that album.”
Spencer shifted uncomfortably, glancing at the others, who were clearly holding back their laughter. “I didn’t know we were having a listening party,” he mumbled, trying to divert the attention. “Didn’t know? Or didn’t plan on being exposed?” Emily teased, raising an eyebrow. Penelope gasped dramatically, clutching her heart. “I mean, Spencer Reid as a muse for a song about that? Honestly, I’m living for this.” Spencer’s face flushed deep red. “It’s not exactly like that-”
“Oh, come on, Spence!” JJ finally chimed in, laughing. “Even you have to admit it’s a little funny.” Spencer looked down at his hands, a small, shy smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Okay... maybe it’s a little funny.” The team erupted into laughter, the tension in the air easing as they continued to tease him, but in a much lighter, more affectionate way. “You really had us going there, man,” Derek chuckled, shaking his head. “Didn’t expect you two.”
Spencer sighed, still smiling despite the embarrassment. “I didn’t expect it either... but, you know, I’m really lucky to have her.”
“And clearly, she’s lucky to have you, too,” Emily added, her teasing softening into something more sincere. “You two make a great pair.” Spencer looked up at her, grateful for her words. “Thanks, Emily.”
“She uh, invited all of you to her concert next week and dinner afterwards so you guys can finally meet.” A mix of excitement and nervousness in his voice. “She's been asking for a while but I've been nervous but she's really important to me. I really love her, you guys, and youre my family. It's time for you guys to meet.” He nodded sincerely. 
Penelope was the first to speak, “Oh my god, yes please I wasn’t able to get tickets that amazing! And I cannot wait to meet her!” Her voice was laced with excitement. JJ smiled brightly, nudging Spencer’s shoulder playfully. “Look at you! Having a secret girlfriend. I love it. I’m so happy for you, Spencer!” Emily beamed, her gaze softening. “You two sound like a perfect match. I can’t wait to meet her. It’s about time you brought someone special around.” Derek raised an eyebrow, a teasing grin forming on his lips. “So, what are you saying, Reid? Are you going to introduce us to your girlfriend or what? Does she have any friends for me?” Spencer rolled his eyes but couldn’t help but smile. “I am not setting you up, but I know you’ll love her. She’s the sweetest person ever. Just be nice, okay?” 
“I can’t make any promises,” Derek joked, chuckling. “Seriously, though,” Emily said, her tone turning more sincere. “We’re really happy for you, Spence. It’s great to see you so happy.” He nodded, his heart swelling with affection for you and gratitude for his friends. “Thanks, guys. I really appreciate it.”
The conversation continued, filled with excitement and anticipation for the upcoming concert. As the banter resumed, Spencer couldn’t shake the feeling of joy bubbling within him. He knew that sharing this part of his life with his team was important, and he couldn’t wait for you to meet the people who meant so much to him. Later that evening, as he headed home, he found himself smiling at the thought of seeing you. He couldn't wait to show you how much he cared about you and how much he wanted you to be a part of his world.
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novvabee · 17 days ago
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The Boys in the Band
ok... I am extremely sick and extremely stressed about the current state of the world so I wrote a few things to make me feel better. also if you think of a better name for the girl's band lmk cause I am not entirely sold.
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Summary: the boys start a band called The Marauders
cw: sorry i am not good at these but there is swearing, drugs/smoking, and mention of vomit
Word count: 2.6k
James was quite hung over. More hungover than he had been in a long time. He felt as if someone cracked one of the many bottles he finished last night over his head. He needed a cigarette, possibly another shot.
He made his way through the mess of a hallway, bottles and plastic cups lying around, he was sure someone's puke was streaming down the wall. He can’t remember half of the party, he remembers playing Sirius in some drinking game and losing, snogging some brunette who’s name he can’t recall and her being eager to go back up to his room, and lastly, he remembers Lily walking into the kitchen, her friends in tow, not seeing James or maybe just pretending not to see him.
He couldn’t blame her really, he knows he fucked up. He knows that she was angry with him, and that she may never speak to him again. And that would be fine, if that’s what she chose. His head started spinning, he couldn't be thinking about all that right now.
He decided to seek Sirius and Remus out. He shared this grungy, tiny apartment with his two best friends, and they were quite happy indeed. All three of them scrounged up every penny they could to pay for the place, living from paycheck to paycheck, but he wanted to do it with them. He would rather struggle with the people he loved most than sit comfortably in his family’s wealth alone.
He entered the living room to find Sirius laying face down on the couch, not moving. Remus was in the armchair next to him, hunched over his knees, hands over his eyes.
“Nice to see I’m not the only one who looks as shit as they feel” James announced to the room.
Sirius, face still in buried the couch, mumbled back “Speak for yourself, loverboy.”
James rolled his eyes and threw his gaze to Remus who leaned back in the chair and shrugged. James knew it was Remus who invited Lily last night, he knew they were still friends. He couldn’t blame Remus for inviting her, but it would feel a lot better if they wouldn’t then bring it up the next day.
He shook his head and made his way to the balcony, opening the door and stepping out into the refreshing cold. He brought a cigarette to his lips and flicked the lighter once, twice, three times. Why the fuck wasn’t it working? He heard the door open and close behind him, then Sirius lighting his own cigarette and tossing the lighter to James. Thankful, James lit his cigarette and took a long drag.
“How you fairing?” Sirius asked from beside James, looking out towards the city beyond.
James chuckled “I feel like I’ve been hit by a train but no worse than last time.”
Sirius smirked, now looking at James “I meant about seeing her, mate”
James would rather be anywhere else right now, with anyone else, talking about anything else. This is not what he wants to be confronting while trying not to throw up or pass out. He just shrugged. That is all he could manage to do.
Sirius nodded, understanding that he didn’t want to talk about it but there was more to talk about. New revelations were made at the party last night.
“Well uh… I have some great news, and some not so great news. Which would you like to hear first?” Sirius asked, taking another drag of his cigarette.
James groaned. Too early. Too hungover. Too emotionally drained for bad news. “The great news please.”
Sirius smiled. “Well, we have a gig tomorrow night at The Common Room. A couple bands were selected for a sort of festival for local bands and artists.” 
James’s mood instantly lifted. This was amazing news. They had amassed a good sized fan base who were very loyal and dedicated to The Marauders. When he performed, he really felt the rockstar live that they were chasing. Needless to say, the gig will be a success if they are able to reach other fan bases as well as their own.
“That’s great!” James exclaimed. He was ready to rehearse and prepare for the upcoming night. What could the bad news possibly be? “And… the other news?” He asked Sirius.
Sirius turned and took another drag of his cigarette, delaying the news. “We have the final slot, we’ll be the last band to perform.” He said. James was just waiting for the bad in that. That's actually great news. Headliners. 
“Ok?” James said, confused.
“There's a band going on right before us,” obviously, James thought. “And uh… it's a new girl group that Lily put together.” Sirius finally got out.
Oh… he was going to have to perform right after… Ok well, he wanted to be a professional didn’t he? Things like this happen all the time. He just, never expected that she would actually do it. They talked about it a few times but he never… he never took her seriously. Perhaps this is just another hobby that she wants to take up that she will inevitably get bored of like painting or knitting, she has a habit of that. Or maybe… she's doing this to get back at him in some way. Great. 
“Alright well, it’s fine. I’m just excited to headline. Right?” he said to Sirius who was relieved. James wasn’t a wreck or angry.
“Exactly mate.”
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦
The boys were ready. They had practiced all day yesterday and today, not to mention all the gig experience they already had. Mind you, they were mostly used to bars or parties or the occasional opener for another small local band, nothing like this so far. 
They walked in through the backdoor entrance of the venue. The Common Room was on the older side, but a lot of people had performed here, it was sort of a local legendary spot. James was ecstatic. He remembered coming here with his parents when he was little to see live shows. He saw his first real concert here with Sirius and Remus when he was about 14. This place held so many memories for him, and he felt that it was quite a full circle moment.
They walked through the halls backstage to get to their dressing room. They opened the door and saw countless guitars and cases. Hair curlers and products scattered in front of the mirrors, makeup tossed everywhere, clothes strewn about the entire room. The boys looked around, but they were the only ones in there.
James found the one area that seemingly wasn't already taken. All the bands must be sharing the room. 
Sitting on one sofa in the back corner, the boys rolled a joint and started smoking it, their pre-gig ritual. 
Remus passed the joint to James and looked to Sirius. “Do you know the other groups performing tonight?” he asked
“No?” Sirius replied. “I don’t actually know everyone ya know. Just a lot of people.” then took the joint from James.
“I just mean,” Remus paused. “I don’t know if your brother is here or not.”
Sirius’s brother Regulus, was also in a band. Another quite popular local band. Their style was more indie and underground compared to The Marauders' bold rock style. The snakes, they were called, something that drove Sirius up a wall for some reason. Everything Regulus did affected him like that and vice versa. 
“He’s not.” Sirius said a bit too fast. Trying not to sound jealous.
“But Lily is here? Right?” James asked, trying to take the attention off of Sirius’s brother and maybe make him relax. Remus just nodded and looked to the floor.
“What are they like? I mean… would they even be good?” Sirius asked.
Remus sighed, feeling uncomfortable for being but in the middle of Lily and James. “They're pretty good I think, I mean they're here too right? Just like us.”
“I didn't know any of them sang. Lily is pretty good but Mary and Marlene? They don't strike me as singers.” Sirius said matter of factly. 
“They have a new girl with them. She’s the singer.” Remus replied.
A new girl? With them? Lily, Mary, and Marlene had been attached at the hip for as long as James could remember. That's why it was so hard to ask her out in the first place, he could never get a moment alone with her.
“She was at the party, I talked to her for a few minutes. She seems pretty cool, I just don't know what direction they are going to go.”
“I guess we’ll see.” Sirius said smugly, there was no chance that they were going to come close to The Marauders tonight.
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦
The boys decided to watch the other bands for a while in the wings. There was some great talent, and each group had a small following there at the venue. The boys already recognized some of their fans in the audience.
They were going to watch the rest of this band’s set, then make their way to start getting ready for their own. That was the plan anyway, until James couldn’t move. The current band finished and walked off after taking a bow. James just had to catch a glimpse of Lily’’s new band. He stood firm even when Remus was trying to pull him away, saying they needed to go.
The lights turned to a fluorescent pink and red, and some fans started cheering. James just needed that one look.
And there she was. Lily, Mary, and Marlene took their places on stage at their instruments, and following was… you. 
James had never seen a more confident and vibrant young woman. He had of course seen Lily, but something about you just screamed performer, entertainer, star. The whole vibe of the audience seemed to have shifted at your presence. All of you were wearing short black sparkly shorts with tights verrying in rippedness, and black Doc Martens. You all were uniform, except in the color of your bralettes; Marlene in black, Mary in pink, Lily in purple, and you in red. You all looked feminine but with an edge.
You waved to the crowd. “Hello Common Room” you drawled. The crowd cheered and screamed, waiting to hear your music. “I am so happy to be here and share our very first performance with you lovely people.” you were charming the crowd, almost unintentionally, but there they were waiting for what you would say next. “Before we begin, I’d like to introduce you to some of my friends. Here on guitar, we have the lovely Mary MacDonald!” The crowd cheered and Mary played a little to show off her skills. “Next we have Miss Lily Evans on bass!” again the crowd cheered and she too showed off a little. “Finally, this is the beautiful, the extraordinary, Marlene Mckinnon!” She too received a round of applause and showed her skills on the drums. “And I am Y/N and we are The Pixies!”
You went into your first song of the night and the crowd was loving it, they were dancing and enjoying the set. The same could be said for your second and third songs. You had the crowd going, the energy bouncing around the room. You changed to a ballad for your fourth song, showing off your vocal range.
Your fifth and final song’s intro started and you decided to work the crowd a bit more. They were seeming happy with your performance so far, so you decided it was time to poke a little. Have a little more fun on stage.
“Alright for this text one, I want to see all the girls, gays, and theys dancing and letting loose!” The crowd went wild. “And I wanna see all the boys go to the back of the room.” There was cheering mixed with some confusion. “I’m serious, I wanna make a dancefloor for all my friends so… shoo.” you said, determined. There was a lot of cheering and giggling while the crowd shuffled. “That is much better. This next one is called Red Wine Supernova, I hope you like it.” 
You stared walking and dancing around stage while singing;
She was a Playboy, Brigitte Bardot
She showed me things I didn't know
She did it right there, out on the deck
Put her canine teeth in the side of my neck
I'm in the hallway waitin' for ya
Mini skirt and my go-go boots (uh-huh)
I just want you to make a move
So slow down, sit down, it's new
I just wanna get to know ya
Guess I didn't quite think it through (nah-uh, girl)
Fell in love with the thought of you
Now I'm choked up, face down, burnt out
Baby, why don't you come over?
Red wine supernova, falling into me
(Let's pick it up now)
I don't care that you're a stoner
Red wine supernova, fall right into me
You walked up to Lily and started to sing with her and she would reply:
I like (I like) what you like (what you like)
Long hair (no bra) that's my type (that's right)
You just told me, want me to fuck you
Baby, I will 'cause I really want to
I just wanna get to know ya
Guess I didn't quite think it through (nah-uh, girl)
Fell in love with the thought of you
Now I'm choked up, face down, burnt out
Baby, why don't you come over?
Red wine supernova, falling into me
(Okay, y'all, let's pick it up now)
I don't care that you're a stoner
Red wine supernova, fall right into me
And now, You Mary, and Lily were all centerstage singing and dancing your hearts out:
Well, back at my house
I've got a California king
Okay, maybe it's a twin bed
And some roommates (don't worry, we're cool)
I heard you like magic
 I've got a wand and a rabbit
So baby, let's get freaky, get kinky
Let's make this bed get squeaky
Baby, why don't you come over?
Red wine supernova, falling into me
I don't care that you're a stoner
Red wine supernova, fall right into me
The applause that followed, you never would have imagined. This performance went off without a hitch, Mary rushed over to you bouncing up and down, saying how well you did and how proud of you she was. You four bowed and waved to the still cheering crowd and left the stage. You all immediately broke into conversation about how well it was, you lovely you all sounded, the atmosphere, mostly talking over each other and running from sentence to sentence, but you all felt like you just ran a marathon, there was so much electricity surrounding you.
The giggling and excitement lasted another few moments until you heard the last group enter the stage. They had just as much support as you if not more, there was a lot of screaming and cheering. You wanted to see what the deal was.
You made your way to the wing of the stage and peeked out to see three boys, taking the applause. They were what a typical boy band looked like to you; young, attractive, fit boys who played their instruments very well. You lingered, listening to them warm up on their instruments, showing off for the crowd. You definitely caught some girls in the crown blushing and flirting with their eyes. Who were these guys?
“Hello ladies and gentlemen, we are The Marauders.”
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Let me know if you wish to be tagged in this one 💌
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caribbean1989 · 6 months ago
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Stage Fright - a Baby Lasagna fanfiction
Who: Marko Purisic / Baby Lasagna Request: maybe smt where you work for esc and marko has a panic attack before going on the stage and your there for him calming him down and stuff. just angsty with lots of comfort. Requested by: anonymous. Word count: 2010 Warnings: contains descriptions of panic attack / anxiety / stage fright. Lots of angst, but also some comfort 😇
A/N: I usually write footballer imagines and fandom whump, so writing something like this is quite new to me. Hope you'll like it, let me know what you think of it 😇 If you want me to write more like this, you can always make a request through my Asks 😉
This story can also be found on my AO3 account, here. For more information on my Baby Lasagna fanfics, see this masterpost.
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At your job working backstage at concerts and events, you were one of the people making sure everything went smoothly backstage, and that the performers had all they needed. This month you would be working at the Eurovision Song Contest. 
Today was the biggest day of all: the final.  You felt confident. Everything had been rehearsed endlessly, the semi-finals had already gone well, and you had built up a good relationship with most of the performers and their entourages. 
It was a nice group of artists this year, but one still was your personal favourite: Baby Lasagna. At first you were drawn to the Croatian candidate because of the rather unusual name, but you quickly learned he went by Marko off-stage, and was somewhat different from the other participants. He was a flamboyant personality on-stage, which proved to be the complete opposite of how his personality was off-stage. 
You didn’t need long to see Marko was actually rather shy, could be very insecure, and was humble and polite. There was a cheeky side to him as well once you got to know him better. You liked that about him, and, without actively trying to, you already formed a rather close friendship with him in only this short time of working together. 
That was why you immediately knew something was wrong when you found Marko sitting alone on the day of the final, huddled away from everything and everyone.  He sat amongst crates of sound equipment, on the floor, in a dark corner of the backstage maze, hugging his knees. His hands were clamped so tightly around his legs that his fingers had turned white, and he trembled like a leaf in the wind.  Marko had chosen a spot far from the foot traffic from and to the stage, hidden even from his own entourage, and it was a small miracle that you stumbled upon him like you had. 
"Marko?" You lowered yourself onto your haunches in front of him, but mindful to keep enough distance between yourselves so not to frighten him or make him feel more uncomfortable.
He looked disheveled, only vaguely aware of his surroundings, and surely not in control of his emotions.  In this moment he was not the extroverted Baby Lasagna, he was introverted Marko. The eccentric costume he wore on stage was replaced by regular jeans and a black hoodie. The make-up wasn’t applied yet, which might be a good thing, because you saw the tears on his face. The haunted look in his eyes scared you, worrying you even more about his well-being. 
Suddenly your mind went to a line from the song he was performing with here this week. 
My anxiety attacks.
Whilst Rim Tim Tagi Dim had people dancing all over the world, you couldn’t help but notice its darker meaning, too. And it clicked into place for you now. That line about anxiety wasn’t just a line. It actually held truth for Marko, and the proof of that was right in front of your eyes with him having a serious panic attack. 
"Marko?" You repeated softly.  His gaze flickered to you, but he didn’t acknowledge your presence in any other way.  "I need you to talk to me," you nudged carefully.  Marko swallowed hard. He made every effort to get himself to speak, but couldn’t. The words he meant to say got involuntarily silenced on their way to his mouth, and, finally, he just sadly shook his head. Fresh tears fell as he rested his forehead on his knees, shrinking even more into himself. 
Your heart broke for him. It was hard to believe you only met him a week and a half ago, with how much you already cared for him. 
Marko shivered in his hoodie. His breaths became even more rapid and shallow, accompanied by the occasional wheeze or whimper. He was losing more and more control over himself with every heartbeat of his racing pulse. Where first maybe only his hands had shook, there now wasn’t a muscle in his body that wasn’t shaking. He raised his head and looked up at you again, this time really seeing you. 
Marko’s lower lip trembled, and it took effort, but finally he got some words out. "Help me…" "I’m trying," you answered helplessly. You wanted nothing more than to help him, take him out of this panic attack, but you really had no idea where to begin. "Do you need me to bring someone from your team over?" "No!" Marko nearly jumped a foot into the air at the mere idea of that. "They don’t need to see me like this. I’m a mess, I…" "Calm down, calm down," you tried to ease. "We can do this. You and I, we can get you through this."
Having suffered from panic attacks yourself, you suddenly remembered what your sister used to do for you to get you to calm down. "Marko." You got his attention. "I want to try something to help you calm down. Are you okay with me touching you?" He still was in the height of his panic attack, with fear wild in his eyes, but he still nodded his head. He wasn’t sure what you had in mind, but he trusted you.
You scooted closer to him, fully sitting down on the floor by his side. Marko trembled heavier than ever and he was truly hyperventilating now. Tears sparkled in his eyes, but he gave in to you. He wanted for you to offer comfort and take him out of this anxiety. 
"Close your eyes," you said softly.  Marko hesitated for just a second, but slowly closed his eyes. He didn’t know you for that long, yet you felt secure and safe to him. "Whenever you’re no longer comfortable with anything I’m doing, you need to tell me," you insisted, "and I’ll stop immediately." Marko gave you a strained nod, but he surrendered to you. 
You moved slowly, making sure not to make any unexpected movements which would cause Marko any more fright.  You placed one of your hands flat on his chest. Only now you realised how heavy this panic attack actually was for him. His chest heaved and trembled under your hand, and now that you were closer to him, you heard the whimpers that were hidden in the wheezes of his breathing.  With your other hand you picked up his wrist, gently pressing two fingers against the pulse point. As you had expected, his heart was racing. 
"I need you to focus on my hand on your chest." You kept your voice as calm and serene as possible. Marko dipped his head once, eyes still firmly pressed shut.  "Whenever I press into your chest, I need you to breathe in through your nose, and try and press my hand away with your chest," you instructed, "when I release the pressure, you exhale slowly through your mouth." Marko wanted to speak, show you he had understood, but he found his words once again stolen from him by the panic attack. Instead, he dipped his head once again, but it was all the confirmation you needed. 
You slowly and gently pressed the palm of your hand a little firmer into his chest.  Marko took a shaky breath. He did his best to get his lungs to fill properly and get his chest to give counter-pressure against your hand, but couldn’t quite manage.  "It’s alright," you eased him, "take your time. Just focus on the rhythm of the pressure of my hand and try to breathe with that." You felt how Marko was really trying to, but also how he wasn’t succeeding yet. His inhales were broken by shudders, and his exhales disrupted by sudden and involuntary gulps.  "That’s it," you encouraged anyway, "easy does it."
Your hand never left his chest as you gently applied pressure and released it, with Marko doing his utmost best to get his breathing to fall in sync with it. You spoke soft encouragements, yet the silent moments in between were filled with Marko’s quiet whimpers.  It didn’t matter to you how long it would take, you would help Marko through this. 
---
Eventually, you sat with Marko like that for well over 30 minutes. There was no reason to rush anything. Soundchecks for the grand finale of tonight wouldn’t be starting for another few hours, so you gave him all the time he needed to pull himself out of this panic attack.
Marko’s pulse had returned to a regular, calm rhythm, as had his breathing. His trembling had subsided, but he sat beside you looking worn out from everything he had just gone through. 
You gently let your hand fall away from Marko’s chest for the first time again. You kept a close eye on him, but he was able to keep his breaths calm by himself now. "Open your eyes," you said softly. Marko slowly did so. Even though the area where you sat was dimly lit, he still squinted at the light. He ran slightly trembling fingers through his silvery hair, before he finally looked up at you sitting next to him. 
"I’m sorry about that." Marko sounded tired. "No need to apologise." You shook your head. "May I ask what happened?" "This happened." Marko chuckled wryly, motioning his hands to the area around you. "I’ve never performed at an event of this magnitude before. And… well, my stage fright took the better of me, I guess. It does that sometimes."
The airiness with which he spoke of his stage fright was pitiful, almost like it was the most common thing in the world for him. "But it doesn’t often get this bad, I reckon," you said sympathetically.  "No." Marko sighed heavily, running his fingers through his hair once more. "It doesn’t usually lead to a full-blown panic attack, and certainly not like this one, but, apparently, big stages lead to big anxiety." A dark chuckle followed. "That’s not even remotely funny," you scoffed. Marko gave a one-shouldered shrug. "I’m used to it by now."
He shifted his body, grunting softly as he stretched his cramped legs out in front of him. He leaned his head back against one of the crates behind him and glanced up at the ceiling for a moment. 
"But what you did really helped me." He spoke after a few seconds of silence. "I’m not quite sure I would have gotten through this one on my own, so I’m really grateful." You shrugged. "I’ve got a bit of experience with panic attacks as well, I’m afraid. So I know how bad they can get."
Marko’s gaze slowly shifted back to you. "Yourself or helping someone deal with it?" "Myself, unfortunately." You sat back into a more comfortable position, too. "Some events in life leave more scars than you can imagine," you added darkly.  "I’m sorry." Marko shortly rested a hand on your arm in support.  "What I just did with you, my sister used to do that for me whenever my anxiety flared up," you explained, "it always helped me through it, so…" You let your voice trail off.  "Well, tell her it’s a good technique." Marko winked lazily. "And I’m glad you’re the one who found me just now. Thank you." The sincere thankfulness was in his voice and in every fibre of his being. 
The two of you talked for a while longer, before Marko slowly hoisted himself back onto his feet. He looked steady again, ready to go, and a glimpse of the extroverted Baby Lasagna shone through the cracks again. 
"Will you be alright?" You stood back up, too.  "Yes." Marko nodded confidently. "I know it sounds strange, especially after what you’ve seen just now, but it feels like I needed to get this out of my system in order to be ready for tonight." You chuckled, glad to see the sparkle of joy back in his eyes, instead of the sparkle of tears and panic. "Come see me if anything threatens to overwhelm you again." Marko nodded gratefully. "I sure will."
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rosquinn · 14 days ago
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One of my Dorian Gray hot takes is that there was absolutely nothing in Dorian and Basil's relationship that was healthy. I keep seeing posts like "Basil's love for Dorian was so pure, that's why the portrait was so pretty and the real villain of the story is Wotton because he corrupted it"
As I see it, yes, Wotton did corrupt him, but saying Basil's feelings for Dorian were pure is simply inaccurate to the story. Basil says himself he merely sees Dorian as an artistic ideal [Dorian Gray is to me simply a motive in art. I find him in the curves of certain lines, in the loveliness and subtleties of certain colours. That is all; ch1] and admitted he (a 10 year older man, who had power over him) tried to isolate him from other people and "keep him to himself". Furthermore, Basil also plays a big role in the way Dorian sees himself and his beauty, by painting him everyday and not maintaining any conversation with him, he's indirectly reaffirming what Wotton tells him: people only care about you because you're pretty and young. There is also this scene from the second chapter:
Dorian Gray turned and looked at him. "I believe you would, Basil. You like your art better than your friends. I am no more to you than a green bronze figure. Hardly as much, I dare say.
The painter stared in amazement. It was so unlike Dorian to speak like that. What had happened? He seemed quite angry. His face was flushed and his cheeksburning.
"Yes," he continued, "I am less to you than your ivory Hermes or your silver Faun. You will like them always. How long will you like me? Till I have my first wrinkle, I suppose. I know, now, that when one loses one's good looks, whatever they may be, one loses everything. Your picture has taught me that. Lord Henry Wotton is perfectly right. Youth is the only thing worth having. When I find that I am growing old, I shall kill myself."
Hallward turned pale and caught his hand. "Dorian! Dorian!" he cried, "don't talk like that. I have never had such a friend as you, and I shall never have suchanother. You are not jealous of material things, are you?-you who are finer than any of them!"
Dorian is even dealing with a suicidal ideation over what Wotton has told him and the way Basil sees him, he needs emotional validation, he's asking to be told there's more than him than that, and Basil's reaction is just─ no. You're prettier than any other object (indirectly comparing him to one, too).
Basil's view of Dorian influences how he sees people as much as Wotton's. For example, to Dorian Sybil was only what she pretended to be, he loved her performance, her acting, how she did exactly what the public wanted (which can apply to Dorian himself), not the real her. She was only an artistic ideal to him, she meant to him exactly what Dorian meant to Basil. He ignored her desires, pain and everything not related to what he wanted to see, since that's what he's been taught he must appreciate.
I also disagree with the interpretation of the portrait as a "pure" reflection of Basil's love (I would personally rather describe it as an obsession, though) and Dorians soul because it's not. At least not entirely. Part of the point of the book is that everyone only saw the part of Dorian they wanted: the portrait represents Basil's idolized version of him, what he wanted to see and how he refused to see Dorian as a person instead of an artistic ideal. That's why he tried to make him redeem himself, because he hated seeing his version of Dorian shatter into pieces. It was never Dorian entirely, not even after aging terribly because that's the result of Basil and Wotton's influence. The portrait was not his real soul, it was a modified version of it other people played with because nobody cared about the whole thing, and the influence was so big those parts became his whole being. It was just an idolized, molded version at first but turned into his real self with the time and the sins. Dorian's soul (the portrait) was constructed upon what others appreciated about him, so when Wotton motivated him to sin, because Dorian's potential to be terrible was what mattered to him, it became ugly and terrible. There was absolutely nothing pure about that portrait since day 1.
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deathbxnny · 7 months ago
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So tumblr decided to screw me over and posted the ask too early, which made me delete it in panic and lose the original ask. However!! I thankfully saved the first part of the ask, so here it is:
May I please request Yanqing learning to play a flute because he heard his s/o singing and wanted to be able to join?
Sorry again to the Anon. I also added/changed up the idea a little, so I hope you guys like it!!<33
Content: Established relationship, reader is a singer, teen reader, Jing Yuan being a smug menace, kind of unserious, sfw
Reader has no mentioned pronouns!
((Not proofread))
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The trouble of young love. (Yanqing x GN!Reader)
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"You... want to learn how to play the flute?" Jing Yuan muttered in near disbelief, his brow raising high as he gazed down at the determined boy, who gave him a simple nod of approval. "Yes. And preferably, by the end of this week." He stated as though it was the easiest thing in the world to simply just learn an instrument in under a week. The general unfortunately didn't doubt that Yanqing genuinely believed that, however.
Jing Yuan blinked in surprise before glancing around quickly in thought. Was this another prank of his? No, it definitely wasn't that simple.
"... And why?" "Oh well... uh..." Yanqing nervously pulled at the collar of his uniform, suddenly slightly flustered and unwilling to share what had gotten him so awfully motivated in the first place. Not that the older man really needed to hear it, as he already had an inkling on what, or rather who, it could be. "... Does it even matter why? I've just been feeling very... musically inclined lately." Jing Yuan snorted at that despite his better judgment, which made Yanqing scowl in offense.
"I'm having a hard time believing that, Yanqing."
The blonde crossed his arms in defiance. "You're not even taking my request seriously, Master." He said, watching as said man leaned back in his chair and near mockingly crossed his arms as well. "It's not that I'm not taking this seriously... it's just that you've never had an interest in such artistic things before." He clarified, even if Yanqing knew better than to believe that it was just an innocent inquiry. "Besides... learning to play a flute is the same as wielding a sword. You need alot of time and patience to hone your skills. A week won't suffice." "And if it is?"
Jing Yuan now grinned in amusement, having expected to be challenged on this. He supposed that this would make for a good teaching lesson in the long run and whilst it may not be the most responsible thing to do, he decided that this would also serve as a form of small punishment for disturbing his "work" in the grand office.
Ah, young love... truly a troublesome thing.
The older man figured that he was doing all of this for you only. Yanqing mentioned your fear of singing in front of large crowds before, and therefore, it didn't come as a surprise that he wanted to do everything in his power to make his lover happy. In a way, it made the general proud to see the boy slowly grow into a young man... even if it came at the cost of his sanity at times. You had changed the lieutenant of the cloud nights in many ways. Some good and some awfully questionable, to say the least. But he figured Yanqing would learn such things on his own in due time.
"Consider me defeated." "And I get a raise to my allowance?" "Perhaps I'll consider it, depending on how well you play." That's all Yanqing needed to hear, the excitement and fire that burned in him at the prospect of not only beating his own master and then also getting more money to share with his dear dove made him immideatly turn and filter out of the room with no further comment. Unknowing of the perilous path he'd have to take in order to learn the art of this instrument.
He was confident that he could make it in under a week so that he could accompany your singing during your first ever stage performance in the grand theaters of the Luofu, which is the whole reason he wanted to learn how to play the flute in the first place.
It couldn't be that hard after all, right?
---
Well, after a good 5 days of relentless training, he still couldn't play more than notes akin to demonic screeching. The general was fair enough to lend him a fancy flute from his own youth, alongside a guide and a couple of traditional music sheets. And yet, it all ended with him laying sprawled out on top of them, the instrument carelessly tossed onto a nearby pillow, whilst he stared up at the ceiling with a deadpan.
Perhaps he truly had underestimated the sheer power of the flute.
But he couldn't claim defeat. At this point, it had become something personal. A challenge that neared one of life and death. If he lost now, then the general would bring this up for centuries to come, and Yanqing did not want to live through that personal hell. Sighing deeply, he rubbed his tired eyes.
Surely, there had to be something he was doing wrong. And yet he just couldn't figure out what it was. He hadn't slept or rested properly in days either, having been too focused on this life changing mission that he just had no care for anything else. But the self-doubt was beginning to creep in, and he didn't know if he was more upset at himself or at the general. He simply wasn't as talented as you were musically.
And just as his eyes were beginning to flutter shut in defeat, your melodic voice breathed life right back into him. He inhaled deeply, quickly drapping a couple of blankets and pillows over the flute and music sheets before he quickly summoned a sword to act as though he was polishing it. Entering the room with an obvious air of worry and nervousness, you gave him a weak smile.
"Yanqing." You hummed gently, perhaps even nearly shyly as you approached him and took a careful seat next to him. His hand reached out and pressed it's palm against your warm cheek, a tired smile gracing his lips. "Hello there, my dove... it's late out. Why are you here?" He asked, nervous that you'd notice the golden flute that was sticking out from behind a pillow a couple meters away. But thankfully you only had eyes on him, as you fidgeted with your hands.
"The last rehearsal is tomorrow... and I'm starting to have doubts... especially after I heard the rumor regarding the general and the Master Diviner attending the performance as well! I didn't know it was going to be such a big thing..." And it wouldn't have been if Yanqing never mentioned a word of it. He should've guessed that his master would eventually figure out his plans and attempt to get first row seats to view his defeat. Something about it filled him with strong determination, the need to win resurfacing in his heart. If not for himself, then you.
"Don't worry about it. Just focus on your singing, and I'll take care of the rest." He said, a serious look on his face that made you raise a confused brow. Yet you thankfully didn't dwell on his cryptic words any further due to him swiftly changing the topic to more mundane things to keep you distracted.
He eventually walked you home, your hand in his, the sun having set completely hours ago. It was a calming moment that refocused his mind and soul on the task at hand, which he ofcourse immideatly resumed once he returned to the estate. It didn't matter to him if he had to stay up 2 more days for this to work.
He'd play the most beautiful sounds on the flute to accompany your singing and if it's the last thing he did.
At this point, he was perhaps just doing it to wipe that smug look off of his mentors face.
---
"Alright! All done... you look great, (Y/N)!" One of your friends grinned as she fixed up the last details on your rather lavish performance clothes. You tried to weakly smile back, unable to help the deep feeling of fear that ran through you. "Is the theater room full already?" "To the brim! And the General and Master Diviner have also arrived just now... man, it's a real fullhouse tonight." She trailed off, missing the way all color seemed to leave your face.
You had hoped that it was a simple rumour, but after sneaking a peek from behind the curtains into the grand hall, your fears truly did come true. Jing Yuan was casually leaning back in his seat as he conversed with Fu Xuan about a topic that made the woman deadpan at him in annoyance.
This is definitely going to be a disaster, you concluded with an affirmative nod.
"(Y/N)? Please get in formation. The performance is just about to start." The director whispered to you when the lights dimmed and you were pushed towards the stage. Your heart was beating against your chest, your mouth feeling dry. How were you supposed to do this? You couldn't do it. The fear was too great.
And it didn't help that Yanqing was nowhere to be seen in the crowd.
Gulping as the music started, you shakily opened your mouth when suddenly the most melodic symphony of a flute accompanied your at first trembling voice. You blinked in surprise, eyes glancing over to see your lover resting atop a fake tree as his fingers moved along the instrument. Finally understanding everything, you turned to the audience with newfound confidence. Your voice traveled throughout the entire stadium and bewitched it's listeners. No one could look away if they wanted to.
And by the end of the performance, no one could stay seated either, as they cheered and clapped loudly... except for Jing Yuan and Fu Xuan, who still looked hardly impressed next to the general. They watched as Yanqing approached you with a wide smile, your arms immideatly wrapping around him in sincere gratefulness. Giving the man an expectant look, the Master Diviner crossed her arms with a frown.
"Well? What type of teaching moment was this supposed to be?" She asked, not being convinced of his ways of teaching at all anymore. Jing Yuan kept staring ahead, a calm and victorious smile on his lips whilst he watched you and Yanqing happily talk on stage. "That he should learn how to be patient and not overdo things that take time, unless he wants to reap the consequences." Fu Xuan raised a brow, obviously very much unimpressed. "You do realise that this just proved to him that he doesn't need to do that?" "Ah no... he won't do it ever again. Just wait." He simply replied, his grin widening when Yanqing's face dropped. There was a pause... before the boy suddenly just finally collapsed into your arms and chaos broke out.
Fu Xuan gave Jing Yuan a near horrified glance, the older man only continuing to smile in content.
He did try and warn him after all.
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Alrighttt... I hope this was fine, Anon!! I once again apologize for accidentally deleting your request and hope this was okay enough to make up for it!!<33
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daydream-wordflow · 27 days ago
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Dear Liam,
never in a million years did I think this was how it was going to end, but here I am saying goodbye.
I must admit that when I saw Zayn's name on the shared statement, it affected me in ways that I wasn't expecting. This whole situation has affected me in ways that I wasn't expecting.
One Direction entered my life when I was 12 years old. You were five ordinary boys, with a great voice, but not so good dancing skills, that sang their way into my heart. It was so admirable, even when you were performing for 65,000 people, to watch you sing around the world while being your goofy, gentle, true selves. It felt like you were having the time of your lives.
Looking back on it, I can't stop wondering if it was too much. I can't stop thinking that maybe I would rather never have known about the existence of One Direction than be going through this now.
I was sad when Zayn left and I was wretched when the band went on hiatus, but deep down, there was still hope. Now I am devastated and heartbroken, and I only knew a small part of you.
One Direction will never be the same without you, I hope you were aware.
I never had the chance to watch you perform live, although all the youtube videos and documentaries made me feel like I had. When the time comes, instead of singing with you, we will sing for you.
I listened to 1D songs, and also all your solo albums, during various periods of my life. Somehow, they always said what I needed to hear. It wasn't just a phase. It cheered me up during some of the hardest moments of my life and it made me company during some of the best. Every time I was anxious or afraid, I would sing a song from my favourite artists to calm myself down. I listened to your songs on my way to school, during a long car drive, on my way to college, while I did house chores, it was the soundtrack while I wrote my master thesis and it accompanied me on my first day to work.
Right now, they are helping me grieve. And it won't stop here. I will have the time of my life dancing to some of them on my wedding day, I will sing them to my children and have dance parties with my grandchildren. It's forever.
I am truly sorry that this is how things ended. I am sorry we couldn't save you. It is so unfair. I know that if you were given the chance, you would have done things differently. You deserved all the good things in the world. You deserved so much more.
I can't even imagine what your loved ones, your family, your friends and the boys are going through right now. I hope that, one day, your son will smile when he thinks about his father, knowing that he touched so many hearts and saved so many lives. That he was talented, enough and loved just by the way he was.
This is not how it was supposed to go, but thank you for bringing the guys together one last time. Thank you for bringing us together. It has been healing to see that so many people loved you and cared about you.
Thank you for the songs. Thank you for my teenage years. Thank you for the smiles. Thank you for your kindness. Thank you for your laugh. Thank you for your words. Thank you for the love. Thank you.
"I want to write you a song, One to make your heart remember me, So any time I'm gone, You can listen to my voice and sing along."
I promise to remember you.
Always and forever.
Lisbon, 27th october 2024
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armysantiny · 6 months ago
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The Pale Idol – PSH
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P: Seonghwa x gender neutral reader | G: fluff, fantasy, drabble | Inc: Baldur's Gate 3 au, vampire elf!Seonghwa, Seonghwa is basically Astarion, tiefling!reader, mentioned Jongho, mentioned Wooyoung, tiefling!Wooyoung, makeup artist!reader, mentioned San, drow!San, implied Hongjoong mention, high half elf!Hongjoong| Wc: 1.1k | W: mentioned blood, old bite marks | R: G
Min's notes: This idea struck and would not leave me until I wrote it out. This fic's quality is questionable lmao, but I like it and that's enough for me. If I like this enough I'll do headcanons abt what the other members are lol. Also fuck tumblr's 5 link/tags per line thing-
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Seonghwa lifts his head from his phone when his name is called, abandoning the green room’s sofa in favour of the stool his makeup artist is calling him to. He’s not the last one to have his hair and makeup done, but he has been able to relax while the others get ready. Precious minutes of simply sinking into the sofa and scrolling through the device in his hand.
Once he settles in his chair, his head turns to y/n, politeness melting away into a smile. They’ve got the brightest expression on their face, an eagerness he can feel in abundance. It’s rather charming, and a wonderful start to his day.
Even if he’s feeling a tad bit peckish.
“Morning to you too, y/n,” he chuckles, letting the Tiefling go about putting on his makeup for the group’s upcoming stage. “You seem excited today, something lifting your spirits?”
“Hm? Oh, yes! I have this new palette, you have to see the shades, Seonghwa, it’s going to highlight your eyes perfectly for this stage!” Y/n answers, bringing over the eyeshadow palette in question for Seonghwa to inspect. Much to their luck—and intuition—the makeup gets the idol’s seal of approval, and y/n gets to work right away. And Seonghwa is just the perfect client; holding himself just how y/n needs him to, closing his eyes exactly when needed.
The perfect symbol of grace, Park Seonghwa is.
Just as their close attention comes to an end and y/n goes to put their equipment away, the Tiefling’s gaze catches on something. It’s so small, so inconspicuous, clearly a small miracle they ever notice it at all. Hidden just below Seonghwa’s collar, in the crook of his neck, are two little scars.
And old vampire bite. Pale skin, the red eyes, the bite…
“Am I free to sit back on the sofa..?” Seonghwa’s watching them. Right. He’s caught them staring, surely the elf is uncomfortable.
“Yes! Yes, sorry, of course… you’re free to go.”
“Great. Thank you as always, y/n. Can we talk later?”
Later. The promise of conversation after the day’s recordings is daunting. Why he even suggested it in the first place, Seonghwa can’t recall. Y/n had seen it, his bite marks, and now he owes them an explanation, at the very least. Or a well-meaning half-truth if he has the heart to lie to them. His brow furrows, or well he supposes they do because Seonghwa feels a stare burning into the side of his head, San watching him with all-too-knowing eyes.
Damn the Drow for being so observant and empathetic. But San is a ray of sunshine, warm and loving, so all is forgiven. As it always is.
“Hyung,” San begins, “everything alright? Do you need..?”
“No, no, I’m okay,” and he is, “just a few things on my mind. It’s nothing to worry about, San-ah, promise.” Seonghwa isn’t lying. There isn’t anything—or at very least there shouldn’t be—to worry about. The performance will go well, he’ll smooth things over will y/n and maybe he’ll bother their high half-elf leader for a bite or two once night falls.
The performance ends almost as soon as it begins, adrenaline coursing through Seonghwa’s undead veins as the music comes to an end. Even as the idol works his charms for the close-up camera shot and the audience screams their praises, the prospect of confronting y/n hangs back in the crevices of his mind. Just like that horrifying mindflayer tadpole he once harboured, but that’s neither here nor there. So, after a few minutes of waving to fans onstage, Seonghwa tags along with his members and heads backstage, the green room and a darling Tiefling awaiting him.
What fun.
Y/n can barely look Seonghwa in the eye when he and the others walk back in, hands clamming up while they spend another minute or two or three distracting themselves with mundane tasks. How are they supposed to confess to the vampire that they’ve figured out that Seonghwa isn’t just an elf? It’s a small miracle in of itself that Jongho pulls them aside, needing y/n’s assistance, a clasp stuck on the idol’s mic pack.
“…mind if I interrupt?” y/n nearly jumps out of their own skin as Jongho’s clasp comes unstuck. Hells, was Seonghwa always this good at moving around silently?
“Nothing to interrupt,” they say, composure recovered, “is this going to be a private conversation?”
He nods. Very well, they can give him that much.
Following Seonghwa to a rather unused section of the green room, y/n stays decidedly quiet. Sure, the Tiefling knows, but this is Seonghwa’s secret to sure. It’s not hard to see the nerves play out on his face either, the way the elf’s expression holds itself a little too stiff.
And then y/n blinks when Seonghwa just comes out with it.
“I should have told you sooner, y/n, really,” the elf continues, “but surely, my friend, you understand just how risky it is to admit my nature as a vampire. Especially in this line of work.” They understand. Of course they understand.
“I do, Seonghwa, really. And thank you for telling me, though…” y/n trails off, reaching for Seonghwa’s hands when said elf stares at them with panicked eyes. “It’s nothing bad, I promise! I didn’t want to intrude on your revelation, just now, but I did figure it out. Earlier.”
Never has the Tiefling seen Seonghwa so flustered before. They watch the way he clears his throat, avoids looking at them for all of ten seconds before plastering on a nervous grin.
“How— how did you..?”
Y/n launches into their explanation, suddenly very aware that they probably should have brought up their suspicions ages ago. Like how they hadn’t wanted to point out how rare it is for high elves to have crimson-red eyes, or how the idol is paler than most and spends a little longer just observing his own reflection. Not that y/n always knew, but the old bite mark did play a decently large part in them finally putting two and two together.
“I was that obvious, was I?”
“…a bit?” Seonghwa groans. His hair falling across his face as he hangs his head in defeat. All that effort, all that time spent crafting his illusion and y/n figured it all out. Just like that. Now they’re laughing! All bashful and giggly and—
Hells below he wants to hide.
“My dear, can we please put this conversation to bed? Preferably before I go and ask Wooyoung to smite me?”
Y/n nods, not without stifling the rest of their laughter.
Thank the hells.
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kingsandbastardz · 7 months ago
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Tumblr ate the anon ask I was responding to so I'm gonna paraphrase it here:
what do mean llh gave di feisheng to fang duobing? the letter totally said something else
Yes, it did - but I didn't feel I could comment too deeply on it when it's been retranslated and people who are far more literate than I am have analyzed the contents already. -- The letter itself seems pretty straight forward.
However, what I wanted to focus on was analyzing unspoken social dynamics - so I'm gonna get in depth into my reasoning for my interpretation. And admittedly in previous posts I was playing fast and glib with my responses (they were just insomnia-fueled thoughts I typed real fast) so I wasn't really in depth or anything. Anyway~~~ That means it's time for me to get long winded.
So! First thing - this is the scene: The letter was written from Li Xiangyi and addressed in its entirety to Di Feisheng. However, when it was delivered the fisherman asked for both DFS and FDB. It was then read outloud by either the fisherman or FDB -- I assume read out loud, and loudly, because DFS never left his position by the rocks and emoted his distress at the contents. That means everyone there also was privy to the letter contents.
The letter itself is straight forward. It's addressed from LXY telling DFS that he regretfully can't make the duel and that he respects him both as a martial artist and as a person, and if he wishes, he can go to FDB who has inherited his skills and shows great promise, etc.
The thing IS - I firmly believe that this is not a message meant just for DFS.
Both LLH and DFS code switch between their non-leader selves vs Li-Menzhu and Di-Mengzhu. It's easiest to see based on what they're wearing. Li Xiangyi when he's dressed in the Sigu Sect uniform. Or the Styx flower hand-off scene where he calls him Di-mengzhu (not Lao Di or A-Fei or whatever else) likely as a reaction to his official regalia/red uniform which means DFS was showing up in an official capacity. Both of them know very well the importance of a certain.... how to say.... drama? They're both leaders and they were also very performative in their roles as leaders. They both expected that massive peanut gallery that showed up to witness the fight - the one filled with members of various sects, including Sigu Sect leadership -- because dfs was likely the one announcing it.
Imo - aside from the need to express the full weight of what he felt, part of the reason LLH was so formal in his letter is expectation that there would be other people there - influential people. The very people DFS and FDB would have to deal with in the future alone. FDB would be ok but he's largely unknown to the rest of jianghu and therefore his story is still malleable. DFS is known, but infamous and his narrative is as much of a trap as LXY's was. And now he no longer has the benefit of a sect to act as a buffer.
LLH's last act as LXY was not to save Yun Biqiu but to carve a new path open in the world for DFS and FDB:
Expresses that he bears deep emotion and the greatest and deepest respect for DFS despite a reputation of them being enemies
Informs everyone that DFS is not seeking dominion or 'the throne' but rather, is going the fighter-scholar path of studying and testing martial skill -- aka, this is message from one sect leader to all the others present. Spread the word, this man is NOT gunning for your power. None of you have reason to take him down.
Establishes FDB as his one and only successor - while also stating clearly it's entirely up to FDB to decide whether to continue down this path or not
Creates a pathway for DFS and FDB to maintain their connection with each other - and in fact lets everyone else know that there is a pre-established, legacy relationship between DFS and LLH that FDB will be inheriting.
Gently asks DFS to keep an eye on FDB's development - iterating that if dfs is the one asking, then FDB may make the decision to continue to train - aka help him see his full potential whatever his decision is.
At the same time, he silently wishes FDB to maintain connections with/keep an eye on DFS. In another reply I kinda went on about this: imagine a scenario where your friend's mom pulls both of you in front of her. And the whole time is telling your friend that they need to do, expectations, a list of goals, etc. The entire time she's only focused on your friend - but there is this silent implication that you, as the witness, is expected to act a reminder or even an enforcer if your friend isn't listening. If things go wrong, you're expected to go in there and help them to do the thing they were asked to do. This is the unspoken message I'm getting for FDB. Even though his name wasn't mentioned in the letter, it was explicitly delivered to both him and dfs. He's standing right there while an imaginary LLH talks to DFS. So if after all this, dfs disappears without another word = fdb can feel emboldened to go after him, knocking on doors until he answers. Should he decide to do so.
Entreaty - "These are LXY's (my) last wishes. Please respect my memory after my death."
Conclusion: LLH's last actions were to create a space where both DFS and FDB can make their own decision on their path in the world, without the weight of all those other people in jianghu influencing them.
Note: I also believe that on dfs' side, his clothing choices point toward his plans to publicly step down and leave the martial path with Li Lianhua. But llh sucker-punched him and left him standing on some rocks like a widow waiting for her husband who's lost at sea. They were technically on the same page, but it somehow went wrong because... well. Unfortunately that's DFS' narrative. He never quite reaches his goal without the hero either hindering or helping him. The entire drama was LLH being that karma busting fulcrum for him. But now, should he wish it, it'll be FDB's turn to step up and do the same.
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thornswoggled · 5 months ago
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yori is fumiki and heres why: my manifesto
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or: wait, we werent all on the same page about this?
i should have written this when i first read chapter 98, but im only getting around to it now. this is less me trying to convince you, the reader, and more hoarding all my collected thoughts on why yori is absolutely fumiki, if its a red herring its a silly one, and if he isnt or if its left ambiguous forever i will eat crow. here we go:
before i start let me say most of my evidence is the way yamazaki frames him visually rather than solid "proof." comics are an artform, theres a reason things get framed the way they do, and her artistic choices in ch 98 (i feel) are meant to serve as a big blinking neon light that says "you should be feeling this way about xyz right now"
iic, there were rumblings of "the young auditor" being fumiki as far back as his introduction in ch 51 due to to his unique ability:
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which is essentially a refined version of fumikis innate ability to keep fae away. we know yori is part of a "family business," and it seems appropriate that with the proper training, he would be able to freeze fae in their tracks rather than simply ward them off
unfortunately this is where "evidence" ends and "vibes" begin
chapter 51 didnt get adapted into what was otherwise a pretty faithful adaptation in season 2, and i understand why - theres a lot going on, and this chapter is fairly out of left field. but theres one other quip that got left out of season 2:
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this is a one-off thought that wouldnt have been difficult to include in the anime. imo, i believe this line from ch 62 didnt get animated because we hadnt met fumiki yet like we did in the manga. now, onto more recent chapters... (under a read more because this is going to get pretty long)
chise and yoris first meeting is framed in a very purposeful way. in chapter 98, elias is preoccupied with ousting all the outsiders so that he and chise can be alone, stuck on the idea that "christmas is for family only:"
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and three pages later, who do we meet?
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im really struck by the way chise and yori are drawn together here. personally, i dont read this as "chise is meeting a new unimportant side character," this is "the strings of fate have pulled us miraculously back together again"
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waiter! waiter! can i get an order of drifting sakura petals and sparkles with this panel? am i waxing poetic here or do you see it? the way theres no background drawn here, no other characters, even in later pages when we know elias is standing right behind chise, he doesnt get included in frame so that its just the two of them:
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while im at it, can we appreciate how theyre wearing the same outfit? black pants and a hip-length dark coat/sweater with oversized pockets, a collar, and six left-sided buttons. yoris dark gloves also evoke chises cursed arm here but i dont want to risk looking like a maniac any more than i already do. i mean... dude, look at them, theyre matching
speaking of matching, lets pop back to 51 for a sec
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both yori and chise have canine familiars! actually, it looks like yori might have multiple - look at all those pokeballs i mean bamboo tubes in his coat. if my memory serves, we didnt know yori was japanese at this point, but everyone assumed so because of the appearance of this familiar... which was another log on the "this might be fumiki" fire
fun fact: this little dude is almost certainly a kuda-kitsune, which were said to be kept in tubes and summoned by a soothsayer, who could use it to perform curses, or tell the past and future
and the drama with which we find out his "name":
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"i bet you were expecting me to say fumiki, huh. good luck im not giving you that this early you have to work for it." as far as aliases go, "ri" could be derived from "hatori," but neither of the kanji in "fumiki" can be read as "yo," so its probably just random
after yori leaves, we get another repetition of "christmas is for family," which at this point feels like yamazaki is leading us to water and dunking our head in it:
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i think its awfully convenient that ruth was absent for chises exchange with yori. do you think he would have been able to smell that theyre related? or whiffed the kuda-kitsune in his coat?
right after this, too, we get this line from elias which i have been thinking about a lot:
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theres a few different ways this could be read, so im not married to any one interpretation, but it could be foreshadowing "if chise decides to pursue a relationship with her estranged family, what will i do then?" as gabriella would say, "i hate to be a third wheel"
given what we have seen of yoris aloof personality, i have to imagine there will be drama if/when the reveal is made. sadly i can picture him actually pushing chise away if she tries to reestablish a relationship with him
now! that is pretty much where my thoughts end, but i do want to share questions/doubts i have:
if yori read all of simons reports to determine he was an unfit observer, there is no way he doesnt know chises full name. i wonder whether he had any reaction to it? he may assume that its just a coincidence. i briefly wondered if the hatori name was an invention by yuuki, until i remembered that the family chise stays with in the OVA also has the same name. unless yuuki was adopted by another family like seth...? dont mind me, im going pepe silvia mode over here
have i mentioned i talked about yuuki before in another theory post? take it with a grain of salt, i already got proven wrong on one front now that jasper has been introduced
will yuuki be reintroduced if fumiki is? i desperately want chise to get that closure, but this scene from ch 42 has a sense of finality to it, a sort of "you will never get to resolve things with your father or see his side of things" stank:
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... actually, now that ive mentioned the kuda-kitsune, can we look at this thing again?
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another word for the kuda-kitsune is "izuna," which is read in modern japanese as "weasel." could the critter whos watching yuuki here come from the same place as yoris familiars? yuuki leaves his family immediately after this - getting summoned maybe?
okay, okay, let me stop myself here before i start looking like im ranting and raving. can we talk about the mail, please, mac? ive been dying to talk about the mail with you all day, ok? "pepe silvia," this name keeps coming up over and over again. every day pepe's mail is getting sent back to me. pepe silvia! pepe silvia! i look in the mail, and this whole box is pepe silvia!
if youre a fence-sitter, what are your thoughts? do you think we just dont have enough evidence yet? inquiring minds want to know
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solarwynd · 5 days ago
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I'm curious where people get the idea that the members even want to prioritize their solo careers. Outside of the rappers and jimin, I kind of get the impression that most of them pushed out solo work because it was expected (and probably in their contract) during "ch. 2".
I don't dislike the other members music so I don't mean this in a shady way, but its not like they seemingly felt the urge to talk about deep things they couldn't talk about in group music or be more heavily involved than they could be in group releases. JK was mostly dicking around during ch. 2 until he had to make his comeback, which then he wasn't super artistically involved in and to me, just kind of felt like him going through the motions of "main popstar boy" that BH wanted from him. TH felt like he was mostly fulfilling his artsy/jazz/persona. And I think its pretty clear with how fast the turn around was for jin, that he was pushing to get this album out too. Not to say their music isn't "them", just that I don't think they were feeling some deep artistic need to say something in their work the way the rappers or jimin were. For example, I feel like I could've picked one song from each of their solo works and used it as a solo track on a group album and that would have sufficed rather than a full length album.
I also kind of think solo worked knocked some of them on their ass a little bit. Like I'm sure it was a wakeup call for any members who care about numbers or chart performance that none of them except jimin and JK performed up to the level of the group as a whole. I also think it was probably a lot lonelier and more work to do solo activities too for the members who had never had to do solo promotions before. In general, I just think most of the members work better in a group setting. Like I don't think jin is blowing smoke up army's ass when he says about his relationship to music always being in bts, I really do think he prefers to promote as a group and i think that's the case for all of them.
Even with jimin who genuinely seemed to want to do solo work for the artistry and growth part of it and having his own things to say and was incredibly successful at it, I don't know if I'd say he preferred or wants to do more extensive solo work, at least for a while. Like there's a reason he was one of the last to leave the dorms and went to see all the members during their promotions (even when they couldn't be bothered to go see him...), I think his personality enjoys being part of a group.
I think they'll probably focus on group stuff, but still have solo releases for the members who want them like before ch. 2, maybe with non-music solo activities thrown in there as well just so each of them can build up individual reputations. I guess we'll see how they are post-military, but that's just my impression as of now. I was a shawol and mostly just follow taemin now, but the comparison is interesting to me because shinee's relationship and dynamic has always come off different than bts' to me. The members of shinee were solo stuff for yearsss outside of group work and they also weren't shy about their dynamic mostly being coworkers. I just wouldn't really compare them personally or expect the same outcome.
Not that they want to prioritize their solo careers, just that there is a possibility that after this next comeback and tour, they’ll lean into them more. And it doesn’t necessarily have to be them pursuing music. Cause like you said for the rest of vocal line, making an album seems like it was a one off thing. (though JK could release one down the line.) They could all go into other ventures of their choosing.
With Jimin, He said at that fan meet last year that he was planning on writing even more songs and touring in the future. So saying that he might not want to do “more extensive solo work” isn’t true. Saying his personality enjoys being in a group doesn’t make sense to me either. Because yes he loves the other members and is supportive of them in and out of the workplace (which is what any good friend would do) but that doesn’t signal that he would be better off in the group because of that reason. He can still do exactly what he’s always done even while pursuing solo work, it’s not gonna infringe on that. And yes, while I agree that there are members who do work better in a group setting (some have even said this outright) Jimin just liking to be with BTS is very different than members saying that making music/singing is hard solo or some of the members just not being compelling as soloists in general.
BTS could come back and stick it out as a group for the next decade. Put out multiple albums and resume full fledged group activities. Then it would just be what it is. But me personally I’m standing behind whichever timeline allows Jimin to utilize his talents to the fullest extent without being reduced to a couple lines in a group song and where he has space to fully develop his creativity without compromise.
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nickssidewitch · 6 months ago
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🔥 If The Sturniolo Triplets were Musicians 🪩🎤🎸 (Tarot Reading Kinda) 🔥
This is kind of based off of a random tarot reading and spiritual channeling I did recently, but also just something I brainstormed for fun!!
Don’t be afraid of sending asks of other tarot readings you would like to see, even if you would like a personal reading for yourself! I’m open to anything!
Enjoy! 🔥✨
🥶 Matt Sturniolo:
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Genre(s): Pop; Soft Rock; Acoustic; some Hip-Hop features. That’s the type of music Matt listens to anyway, so he’s bound to stick to that quota. I can hear his music sounding similar to Olivia Rodrigo, Omar Apollo, Harry Styles, Shawn Mendes, Hozier, and The 1975.
Content of Songs: Introspective Views of Himself, Love, Friendships, Heartbreak, Emotions, Serious Topics such as mental health, and of course, the occasional sexy love-making anthem. Most (if not all) of his songs would be based on personal experiences around these topics. Some of them may be loosely based on observations of experiences that other people, like his friends or family, may go through.
Instrument(s) of Choice: Guitar, Drums, Piano. Matt would definitely eat up these instruments. He seems like a very hands-on type of guy, so having an instrument or a couple of sticks/mallets in his hand would satisfy that when it comes to the instruments he would choose. He would spend months learning and perfecting these instruments, and wouldn’t be afraid of performing with them on stage. He also loves the sound that a natural instrument brings to a song, rather than just electronic or manufactured sounds.
Specialty: Songwriting and Background Vocals (BGVs). He would be noted for his abilities to portray or express any emotion, time period, or setting in his songs’ lyrics. He would spend years of his career evolving his songwriting, and he could also win awards for songwriting alone. He’s also very good would stacking vocals and creating harmonies in the background of the main vocals. If you’ve seen/heard the way artists like Mariah Carey, Beyoncé, Jacob Collier, Ariana Grande, or Charlie Puth stack their vocals, then you’ll know what I’m talking about.
What Label?: He would sign with Columbia at first, amongst the likes of artists such as Harry Styles, Beyoncé, and Adele, but after a while (or when his contract ends) he will go off on his own and become indie.
Relationship with fans: Cordial with boundaries, but also intimate when meeting fans individually and privately. If you’re familiar with Harry Styles, for example, Matt’s interactions with fans would be quite similar. He will have online interactions with them, but that would decline as the years go by and as he grows in popularity. He would absolutely have a talk with a fan if he meets one on the street somewhere because he feels that a one-on-one conversation would be much more meaningful to that person than just doing autograph signings with a large group of people. He could also chat with a fan in their DMs if he saw something while scrolling through socials about them (i.e. if they painted a portrait of him he would send a DM to thank them, or if a fan randomly said something concerning about their mental health or living situation that randomly popped up on his timeline, he would send them a quick message of encouragement and possibly even help them out financially if need be). He also wouldn’t be afraid of hearing their feedback or criticisms on anything, whether music-related or not.
☔️ Nick Sturniolo:
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Genre(s): Pop; Disco; Nostalgic, Experimental; House. Again, this is music that he enjoys to listen to, so it’s something he would be comfortable doing. That doesn’t mean he can’t or won’t branch out though. He could do a couple of acoustic songs as well if he was in the mood to do so (usually the sadder songs). It would have a sound reminiscent of the 80s to the early 2010s, but just very “Nick”. Dua Lipa is a good example of this, but honestly, no artists’ music sounds like the songs I hear in my head that he would make. Again, just very “Nick”.
Content of Songs: From super fun to sad, but nothing depressing. He wants people to feel good when they hear his songs, and wants them to have replay value, even becoming hits that will consistently be played even after his retirement from music.
Instrument(s) of Choice: Electronic Instruments. I feel like Nick would learn little bits of different instruments like basic scales only to do little tune-ups or music production fixes, but he is definitely not someone to play an instrument when he gets on stage or to do a stripped version of a song. He loves the sound of real instruments for sure, but it’s something about just having a universal selection of instruments at your fingertips with just a click of a mouse or tap of drum pad.
Specialty: Production and Music Videos. Nick would LIVE in the studio for days, even WEEKS, to perfect the ensemble of a song or the visuals of a music video. He already is a great photographer, videographer, and an amazing editor for YouTube videos, so why wouldn’t he excel at directing and editing music videos, especially his own? He might be the type to think that no other director, producer, or editor sees his vision for how he wants the video to play out, or hears the song the way that he hears it in his head. Even when he has to meet with other producers to master a song, he’s literally there overseeing everything to make sure they don’t mess up his stylistic choices.
What Label?: Atlantic Records, amongst artists like Melanie Martinez, Ava Max, Kelly Clarkson, Bruno Mars, Charli XCX, and Cardi B.
Relationship with Fans: Interactive, Protective, and Loving. It’s giving “ride or die”. If people come after his fans in a negative way, he will literally protect them and fight off anybody in their way. He’s also the type to interact with fans on social media and wouldn’t be afraid of taking pictures or videos with/for fans. He’s the type to make little games or clues about his next projects, just to stir the fans in a frenzy. He loves his fans dearly and doesn’t forget to say “I love you” with every post he makes, but if his fans are being naughty (i.e. running along with false rumours, posting him and a partner he chooses to keep private, being mean to other fandoms or artists), he’s not afraid of putting them in their place. He’s like the “Momma Bear” of the fandom and will give them tough love if necessary.
🦁 Chris Sturniolo:
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Genre(s): Pop; Genre Fusions; Experimental; Hip-Hop/Rap features; some R&B. He’s a man of vast music taste, and so he’s a man of vast genres. He loves to experiment with different genres, even some that he’s only just heard of, and loves to fuse genres together to create something he would call “fire 🔥”. His music would song similar to Frank Ocean, Janelle Monae, RAYE, The Weeknd, Destin Conrad, and SZA. On hip-hop and rap features, he would sing in choruses or sometimes even do a little rap verse for fun, similar to how Justin Bieber does it. One wouldn’t be surprised if he blended his songs with genres like reggae, bachata, or any genre that isn’t your traditional “American” or “popular” genre.
Content of Songs: Love, Heartbreak, Enlightenment, Revival, Fun, Party Anthems. From his own love life, to having fun at parties, to feelings of renewing himself and evolving, Chris would be transparent about his life journey while also giving his audience a chance to have fun for themselves and live in the moment unapologetically.
Instrument(s) of Choice: Guitar, especially electric guitar; bass; electronic instruments. He has signature guitars that his fans know and love, and they even give his guitars little nicknames because of how familiar they are with seeing him playing them. Chris would even call his guitars those fan-given nicknames because of how much he would see them on social media.
Specialty: Live Performances. This man would OWN the stage. His presence would immediately have everyone, even the security guards of the venues, go into a trance. His award show performances would be one of the most talked about of the night, bringing you interesting visuals and new arrangements of his songs.
What Label?: Independent, but many labels would try to scout him. He would also maybe join a friend’s label.
Relationship with Fans: Very Interactive, especially before, during, and after live performances. He loves to interact with fans online, often trolling them about certain conspiracies they may come up with regarding his next projects. He loves to show love to fan-art, edits, and even music reactions on YouTube. He would go on Instagram Lives (or any other streaming platform) for updates on music, touring, etc. He would be the type to bring fans up on stage to dance or sing, or give his microphone to fans in the front row willing to sing their hearts out. He would make jokes on stage or interact with signs. Before and/or after shows, he would talk to his fans, have meet-and-greets, or do little Q&As during sound-checks. And yes, he would crowd-surf.
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kanmom51 · 1 year ago
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JK live 23 September 2023 (NYC)
20:11 or 8:11 pm EST
cr./to the creators of the media used in this post.
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or
24 September 2023 9:11 am KST.
Coincidence? Starting the live at 8:11? I think not.
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And not the first time he goes live at that time either.
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So yeah, JK came live at 8:11 and ended the live at 13:23 minutes.
13 again? Coincidence again? Given that he said his goodbyes at around the 12 minute mark and then waited (?) for it to reach 13? Maybe. Fact is it did.
OMG, he opens up the live like this:
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He's so damn adorable.
And it's a Bratz lip gloss, lol.
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How can you not love him?
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Anyway, JK starts the live saying long time no see and with talk about 3D coming out on the 29th. He tells us how it was his idea to add the clip at the end of the GCF performance, but someone ruined the surprise by running it during the rehearsals, which they obviously weren't supposed to. Oopsy. Spoiler king was spoilered. Lol.
He is a little fidgety, feels like he's doing the live cause he needs to, rather than really wants to... just a feeling I had.
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JK says that as much as he was busy he actually did have time to come to us live, but, and this is where JK has decided to place the boundaries that he himself kind of tore down just a little while ago - he talks about there having to be a push and pull, but I guess he realised, perhaps with some help from others, that tearing down those walls between himself and us has also created an expectation from some fans for more, too much. Also, there needs to be some mystery (he was probably told) and leave the fans with a want for more...
I don't think this is the end of the JK we came to know and love the past few months, but I do think that he is trying to re-assess and set some boundaries between the artist that he is and us as fans.
And truthfully, let's be real here for a sec. Us, the fans, we were kind of a filler in. When the real thing is there, and the time to enlistment is getting shorter and shorter, and there is a choice between the two, who do you think he will choose? A 3 hour live with us or a sleepover with JM? I really don't think the choice is such a difficult one. Do you?
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JK asks how the performance was. Hasn't monitored it yet (oh, and believe me when he does he's going to be hard on himself). And yet, even though he heard from fans they liked it, he feels he did better at rehearsal. Says it's a jynx. On the day of the performance his throat got dried up. It's called anxiety or nerves JK. If only there was someone there with him to calm those nerves...
And before you come at me, yes. I do feel he was anxious. He was a little closed up and distant as well. The enormity of it. The having to speak English. The being there ALONE. There were these little moments of disconnect during the performance. Maybe if he would have started his set with the more lively songs it would have helped, but if only there was someone there to support him and calm him, that dryness in the throat he talks about... yeah, non existent. My opinion. Fight me.
Then Jin shows up in the comment.
I mentioned that it felt like he did the live because he had to (after the performance and the 3D teasers dropping). Jin showing up in the comments, his reaction, felt like relief in a sense. He was really happy.
He saw one of the members commented, went in to see who it was and was really happy to see him.
The whole interaction between them was so older and younger brother, lol.
Jin with the "stop touching your hair", the whole call me convo (JK saying the times aren't lining up him being overseas and Jin answering with him texting Jhope 300 messages a day, as in "you ass, you can always send me a message instead", lol).
Watch the interaction here:
youtube
What did I take from the interaction with Jin?
First of all, that JK was really happy to see him. Not JM level happy, of course, but really happy. Do I say what I'm thinking? About members showing up in his comments and his reaction to them? Nah. In this instance I will take the fifth.
Second, we get it straight out of the horses mouth: JK is enlisting soon. Not like we didn't know it already. Like seriously. But there are those, solos mainly, that seem to still think that JK won't be enlisting with the others. Well, JK made it abundantly clear in that conversation that he's definitely enlisting and it's happening soon. It's the "I'll be joining that party soon" (as in the Jin and Jhope army party) and it's in the "you'll be out while we're still in so take care of Army until we're done" whole convo as well.
Anyway, you gotta love Jin.
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Moving on.
JK tells us that 3D is different from Seven - and to look forward to it.
Wanted to thank army that came to the concert, thank K army for taking the time and supporting him.
29th September is Choseok. JK says the reason the song is released that day is he thinks we will like it more. Ok, yeah. Not the tight schedule and looming enlistment. Well, he does hint about it. Starting up about the reason it's hurried, and why he's been in a hurry, but leaves it up to our imagination. I guess we know, right? If they want to be back by mid 2025 enlistment needs to happen by at the latest start of 2024. And in the little time left he has the single and an album to release. And my guess is there is more too. Some set for before enlistment, some set to land while they are away. JM and him.
He asks "what's after this? what is it?" laughingly answering "your curious, right?"
"What is it? I am really looking forward to it." he says cheekily.
Then he says he's working hard in preparing something for us.
And then he looks down and finds the exact comment he wants to answer:
The Weverse translation is a little different.
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The gist is the same.
We have JK recognizing a JM comment and answering it specifically. And I say specifically because there were PLENTY of Tae comments in his live. Layover, Tae, Slow dance, screaming at him to just say a god damn thing about Tae's album or releases. But our man, he stood fast, lol.
And don't get me wrong, I don't think he doesn't support Tae or want him to succeed. He's his bandmate and friend. But you know what he ain't, is his boyfriend. That is the one and only Mr. Park Jimin. So, it's not that JK doesn't care, it's that Tae just ain't on his mind. Wasn't it Tae that used to say, repeatedly, that JK just ignores him? Lol. But even if Tae isn't on his mind, the comments, they can definitley serve as a fucking annoying reminder. Which JK chooses very loudly to ignore. And making a statement of sorts while doing so, by reacting, out of all of those comments, to the one relating to JM.
That's what I call a big ass JK FUCK YOU to the cult.
Anyway, we were talking about JK's reaction. And when you talk about reactions you look not only at the verbal but also the body language.
The way he leans in to read the comment once he recognizes it's about JM.
The way he does that head tilt when talking about JM's dancing.
The neck crack.
The hand gesture.
Let's talk about the hand gesture for a second here.
Man knows the choreography. That hand gesture was him doing part of the choreo. Muscle memory. And his eyes and facial expression.
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Also, have a look at this:
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Ok, so it is funny how JK knew JM posted to IG and watched it as well... You know, considering the man told us he not only deleted his own IG account but deleted the app from his phone all together...
Thing is man monitors SM. We know that!! You think he wouldn't have seen it on Twitter? Or TikTok? JM's dance is all over the place. So yeah, my initial thought was: hey, how did he see it without an IG account? But then, you know, when common sense took over, I realised he could have seen it ANYWHERE. We know he monitors. We assume he monitors JM and Jikook accounts. He would have seen it either way.
But in any case, as I mentioned, this wouldn't have been the first and only time he has seen this choreo or dance.
JK continues to tell us he's going out for diner with staff. A good reason indeed to end the live (that like I said, he wasn't in the feels for).
And continues telling us to be curious.
Didn't someone tell him curiosity killed the cat?
At the end of the live JK makes us know he's monitoring SM (like I said before, something we already knew). He knows what fans are saying. He talks about the good. And he is thankful for those kind words.
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But he also sees the bad. We know it!!
Ooh, btw, do we talk about that ring JK was wearing?
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This is the second time around we have him wearing this kind of ring.
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Interesting.
So to sum it up:
In those 13 minutes and a bit of his live, he mostly spoke about the performance, 3D coming out, talked to Jin in the comments and answered the comment that happened to be about JM.
I guess that wraps it up.
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arkhammaid · 2 years ago
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 — ˚₊‧⁺˖ THE (DENDRO) BIG THREE AND HOW YOU FELL FOR THEM.
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fandom. genshin impact
pairing. alhaitham x dancer!gn reader, baizhu x anemo!gn reader, kaveh x architect!gn reader
content warnings. none, written in lowercase
word count. 1.6k
notes. i wrote this when baizhu and kaveh leaks dropped and actually finished it in a day. i justify the long wait because i didn't have the pngs of them back then LMAO ty sophie for proofreading 🫶
 — ˚₊‧⁺˖ alhaitham. 
as a dancer and singer under the zubayr theater, you generally dislike everyone from the akademiya
maybe that wasn’t the nicest, nor the right, thing to do, but every student and official scholar has mocked you and your fellow artists, trying to shut down the theater
you keep your dislike, the almost hateful feelings you have, silent, no matter how problematic those scholars are. after all, you try not to create more problems and you don’t think nilou would forgive you for being so mean to others, even if they’re mean to you
it was not until the maddening mission of freeing the dendro archon you met him. the scribe. you’ve heard about him, of course you have, and of course you already had your thoughts about him
when he joined the group to celebrate the successful mission, you avoided him, keeping close to nilou and the traveler, distancing yourself and paimon with food and keeping an eye out on him
just because he helped to free the dendro archon didn’t mean you trusted him. you would rather trust the general mahamatra with your life than him, the feeble scholar and now acting grand sage
instead of thinking about the handsome scholar, you busied yourself with learning new dances for the next performance. like nilou, you owned a vision, but you used it only on the stage
your cryo vision could create the most beautiful forms and shapes, entrancing your audience while you danced with twirling arms and complicated steps. and it was then, in the middle of the most important performance of the year, when you caught the acting grand sage, alhaitham himself, in the audience, following your movements with an intense gaze
you almost stumbled, the ice you created cracking and your body hesitating, but you had to focus. you had to focus, while alhaitham kept his eyes on you and only you
“i see you have joined the festival, acting grand sage,” you muttered politely. nilou had nudged you to talk with some of the scholars who visited and witnessed the performance, stating it will be good for both sides to talk. 
“i have,” he smiles, tall body towering over you. “and i especially enjoyed your performance. it was truly magical. i’ve known nilou is a great dancer, but i didn’t know there is someone who can surpass her.” his sudden compliment made you blush and you stutter a thanks, completely blown away by his honest words. a scholar, complimenting you? 
and then he smiled at you, eyes earnest and dendro vision glittering, his element suddenly filling the space between the both of you. 
“i’ve heard it’s tradition to gift flowers to the actors and dancers after their performance. will you accept them?” with wide eyes you slowly take the beautiful bouquet, still showing traces of his element. 
“thank you, alhaitham.” the moment you utter his name, he gives you another smile, making your heart race and face. how dare he be so nice to you!
— ˚₊‧⁺˖ baizhu. 
you’re a merchant and a collector of liyue, having built a small business with three other people. you supply those in need with herbs and flowers, especially from liyue but also from sumeru and mondstadt
it’s hard work and keeps your days busy. trekking through the lands, defending yourself from hilichurls and other monsters, all while trying to collect the flowers and seeds you need
but, in the end, it’s rewarding work because many will pay big amounts of mora for herbs since they’re so hard to gather. lucky for you, you received an anemo vision many years ago, rather easy to collect the rare plants
your business is split up– while you founded and technically also own it, it’s your dear friend who acts as the main merchant and seller. you supply them and the other two make sure to gather other herbs in more distant places, traveling on horse to deliver them faster
but then your friend falls ill and you have to go out and sell your gathered herbs. selling them is not a problem, the people in liyue would fist fight to get the amount of herbs you offer at a fairly reasonable price
yet your friend recommends you to the bubu pharmacy, telling you that the doctor is currently in need several herbs
you’re surprised, since you know hat the bubu pharmacy is technically self sufficient, but you pack your things and climb the many stairs to the building
meeting the doctor, who immediately introduces himself as baizhu… is an experience. he’s a very handsome man and his smirk has you hiding your sudden blush
you try to tell yourself it’s just the warm weather, or your sudden shyness and inexperience in dealing with customers
it’s really not. because then you start running more often into baizhu, eyes wide when he stops whatever he’s doing to greet and talk to you. his kindness, no matter how much he teases you, is something unexpected and maybe that’s why you fall for him
“ah- hello, my dear. i was just thinking about you. do you have another batch of qingxin? it seems that my inventory is currently suffering,” he sighs, shaking his head and already worrying about the many orders he received. 
“the current cold that’s going around is eating up my reserves. do you know how long it took me to build such an impressive amount of treatments?” but you don’t listen to him, too busy repeating those two words he just uttered without any care in your head. 
my dear, my dear, my dear- he called you his dear!
“uh, yes- j-just a moment,” you stutter when he glances up from his papers, a questioning gaze heavy on you after you didn’t answer him. “i think- we should have some left, but i don’t know if it will be enough…” 
“fuck,” you can only mumble when baizhu turns his back to you again, leaving you with your thoughts screaming in your mind. did you really fall for him? a teasing smartass? 
— ˚₊‧⁺˖ kaveh. 
as a fellow architect, you can recognize kaveh’s talent, even if you would never say it out loud. there has been a rivalry brewing between the both of you, with neither of you showing any signs of stopping
the two of you fight for clients, reputation, and especially partners, which are your fellow scholars. the rivalry goes so far that many of them don’t even want to work with any of you anymore, fearing their lives and, even worse, their own reputation. but neither of you notice, too bullheaded and blinded by the unofficial competition you have going on
yet during all those years of this serious competition between two architects, you’ve never exchanged a friendly word. not even a greeting. oh no, it’s always spitting insults and spiteful remarks that often end in a screaming match
it would’ve probably never stopped if it weren’t for alhaitham. he had enough of the pettiness and decided to sit you down, have both tighnari and cyno watch over you and locked you in the room. the two other vision owners were here to ensure no one would end up dead;, but that wasn’t needed
silence filled the room for almost an hour, until kaveh cracked and asked how you were doing. you, of course, snapped at him, telling him you had much better work to do than sitting here with him
“listen, i’m really sorry… about everything. neither of us stopped and so i just continued,” he started speaking and you lean back, eyes wide and trying to hide your gasp. kaveh apologizing? that was really something new.
“i’m sorry for stealing your clients and saying all those stupid things about you. now that i think about it, it was petty and we should’ve just talked it out and act our age,” he continues, not looking at you, all the while apologizing for being an ass to you. it surprises you, silent as you are, but there is a sudden desire to apologize to him as well. 
“you don’t have to say anything. i know it’s a bit much, but i hope we could try out as friends? i mean, you’re so talented and your commissions and works are absolutely beautiful! if we work together… we could create masterpieces.” kaveh finally looks up and notices your wide eyes, your whole body frozen in your seat. with a sigh, he stands up and nods to the two other men in the room and makes his way to leave. 
but before he knocks on the door to ask for alhaitham to let him out, he turns back once more with a smile and says “i would love to call you a friend of mine, such a fierce person,” a chuckle escapes his mouth and he shakes his head. 
“let me know when you’re up for my offer.” 
and you can only stare after him, the man who had tormented you for years offering friendship and even partnership. furiously, you try to hide your blush that’s spreading, noticing once again how handsome he is. stupid kaveh with his stupid smile. 
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taglist. @keyz-writes , @obsidianjewel , @keqism , @kamiiyaka , @venexus , @stellumi , @wanderersbell , @uraqtttt , @spiriteddreams , @lxvebun , @ineshapanda , @baeshijima
if you want to join the taglist, please read this post!
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ARKHAM MAID 2023
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dust-and-grave · 7 months ago
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hng, i am so frustrated by this whole watcher tv situation. i've been chewing on it ever since i watched their announcement video yesterday + i've been looking around online at other fan reactions. i'm having a lot of thoughts so i guess i want to throw my two cents in + hope it'll make me feel better to talk about it a little.
i think we all agree that creators should be paid fairly for their work; however, not all work is created equal, right? if i commission an experienced (and thus high-demand) artist to do an oil painting of my cat, they might quote me $500+ to do that + it would be fair. if an artist with substantially less experience (and thus in lower demand) spends 30 seconds on a crayon rendition of my cat, should they also received $500+ for their work? i think most people would agree that would be ridiculous.
in some ways, this is what it feels like the watcher team is doing to us right now, imo. we know that shows like ghost files or puppet history are expensive to make because travel costs (in the case of ghost files) + production costs, but we can see the effort put into the work. we feel that what we give for the show, whether that's turning off ad blocker while watching or buying show merch or supporting via patreon, is going toward making the product that we are asking for. these shows are the oil painting in the metaphor.
i don't agree with how mean + rude some people are being about steven lim rn, but frankly, his shows are the 30 second crayon drawing of the watcher channel. anyone can look at the view count on their channel + see that his shows consistently have performed worse than shane + ryan's shows. additionally, we can see that he blows huge amounts of money on his shows ("$913 seafood tower", "$1027 fried chicken") that may leave a lot of viewers feeling as if they're aren't getting as much bang for their buck.
frankly, i think people are valid for being upset that they're expected to directly foot the bill for steven's "i fly all over the world + eat expensive food while you watch" project. while youtube has a shit ton of problems (like, say, not paying their creators enough), one of the cool things about it is that you can gauge directly the amount of the interest in a project (and how many resources you should dedicate to said project) by how many eyes are on it. unfortunately for him (i guess), steven's shows just don't garner enough attention to justify the expense of making them.
which is why i see this shift to watcher tv as such a problem. this feels very much like using shane + ryan's success on the channel to force fans to fuel steven's pursuit of his glory days on worth it. it feels even more strange when they say that they're making the switch because the company isn't currently sustainable, but steven has just hired his friends from buzzfeed + continues to push his series that just don't seem to be making back the cost of production.
to be totally fair, shane + ryan don't get out of this clean either. some of their shows don't deserve to be behind a paywall either. too many spirits is filmed in ryan's parent's backyard with content submitted by their viewers. are you scared is just ryan reading creepypastas/fan submitted content on a minimal set. survival mode is just them playing games like any other streamer or gaming youtuber does. i love all of these shows, but are they on par with puppet history or ghost files? absolutely not.
this is where i think the disconnect is coming from. they're taking everything including the lower production shows to a streaming service where you have to fund them directly (rather than indirectly through ad revenue). they're forcing funding into steven's projects despite them just not doing well enough to justify the cost. they're coming across as disingenuous with their reasoning because their stated reasons for doing this don't align with their actions rn.
i feel like it would've made so much more sense to crowdfund new seasons of shows (which gives them feedback from the fans about what they want too) or put higher cost shows like ghost files or puppet history on patreon or channel membership. i would gladly fund mystery files, weird wonderful world, ghost files, puppet history, etc. with my own money, but i'm one of the ones who isn't really interested in funding steven's quest to eat all of the gold-plated kobe beef when i'll never be able to afford to eat at a restaurant that even serves it.
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