#its done ill post it soon ish!

[myonmukyuu]

Art Summary: 2024

I've been posting my art online for 11 years! wowie!!

My yearly review is under the cut (1.8k words):

Previous: 2014 | 2015 | 2016 | 2017 | 2018 | 2019 | 2020 | 2021 | 2022 | 2023

Happy new year everyone!!! This is actually the first time in a long time that I've not posted my yearly summary on the 31st. I was a bit caught up with visiting family and being a good host so I didn't get time.

Anyways! Time for my year in review that no one reads except for me the following year. 💪💪💪

How this year went:

I think this year went... alright? Let's see, what did I get up to...

Ah. Okay! Art-wise it went "alright" but life-wise I had a pretty good year! Got a boyfriend! Got a cat! Went on two holidays (Japan, USA)! Visited family! Met a lot of online friends! Went to a bunch of concerts! (YOASOBI, Nijigasaki 6th, Hololive Down Under, Miku) A pretty eventful year ✌✌✌✌

But this is actually an art year in review so I'm going to focus on that! And... yeah, I think I went 'alright'. I don't feel terrible about how I went, but I also don't feel amazing? C+ or B- I think...

How did my art go?

Like I said, I think I went 'alright'. I felt very rocky several times in the year with periods of art block and a good chunk of time where nothing I drew felt 'right'. Was it burnout? Maybe. It took me some time to find my footing again. It also didn't really help that I had a lot of "interruptions" throughout the year. Traveling, getting sick, artist alleys and stuff really messed with my momentum. I did a lot of individual little works rather than comic works. I'm not exactly happy with that but it's something to look at for next year.

In terms of raw, technical skill I'm not really too far from where I was last year. But to be fair, after drawing for a decade that's to be expected. While I want to be always improving, I know that's not always immediately visible. That being said, my shikishis are a lot better than the first ones I made! (But technically it's more like my traditional skills are catching up with digital skills???)

Like I mentioned earlier I spent a lot of the year feeling "lost" when drawing. It was kind of like I forgot my own style? In my eyes that made a lot of the work shakey in quality at best... But excluding that fact, I'd like to highlight that I should probably revisit fundamentals. I think when I'm feeling lost, stronger anatomical fundamentals and linework would probably ground me a bit better. Will that be something I look at in 2025? Who's to say 🧍‍♀️

In terms of comic works I think I under performed in terms of quantity. And IMO they were affected by me feeling "lost" while drawing some of them. If I were to revisit them I'd probably touch them up.

I liked how the comics turned out though. 😊 (more in the next section)

My 2024 Goals and how I did:

This is the part where I read what I wrote last year and check if I acted on them at all ✌

As always, it doesn't really matter to me if I fulfill these goals or not. What's more important is the "why". It's good to be aware of what is important to you and what isn't.

“Draw more comics.”

Last year I was dissatisfied from a lack of comics. I think I released 1 doujin... and posted 2 mini-comics? So I don't blame myself for being so dissatisfied. Like I said, I’m a story-teller first, illustrator second.

I blamed an art block that had me eventually scrap a 20 page comic that was drafted and lined. I wasn't satisfied with the storyboarding at all. Because I was burned out, the storyboarding was done in a very direct/ dull way so I wasn't happy with it. But, it was a cute idea and I probably should've finished it. (It's like throwing a month of art into the void.)

While I've decided not to salvage that comic, I've taken the experience to heart. This year when I went to the US, I was interrupted while working on a comic I will be uploading somewhat soon. It took about 5 months to finish the comic. Which is a lot for a 14 pager. And that reason is because I was similarly dissatisfied with it. The paneling and the script just felt like it could be better and I wasn't happy working on it. But instead of randomly dropping it, I just re-storyboarded it until I was happier. The comic isn't posted yet, but I like it sooo much more than the initial draft! So my lesson going forward is to put more focus on my personal satisfaction. This isn't my job, it's a hobby I'm passionate about so I should always prioritise my own feelings!

I did end up drawing slightly more comics though. So technically I've "fulfilled this goal". I still don't feel satisfied with my productivity but it's an improvement.

“Push those shikishi to the next level!”

This goal is pretty self explanatory. Like I said, I think I've improved my shikishi craft quite a bit. I've also experimented with various materials like craft flowers and foil! The road of improvement is long and I still have so much more to learn but I'm fairly happy with how I've done.

There is one stipulation though, which is...

“Do artist alley, but don’t burn out!”

...burn out from doing too many artist alleys.

I did explicitly remind myself not to do too many, but I ended up doing 4 this year. I think this had a direct impact on my productivity and my overall satisfaction.

Don't get me wrong, I really enjoy doing artist alley with my friends. It's very rewarding. But it's also clear that I've been shooting myself in the foot. While I enjoy making shikishi they're not very sustainable for populating an artist alley table. When they've sold, they're gone. And it becomes empty space on the table. It isn't like prints or keychains where you can mass-produce some more. It could take me weeks to fill my table again. And I think this is where my productivity feels very strained.

"There's a con coming up... so I should prepare! I guess I should put this comic on hold while I work on shikishi/print stock." <- this ended up happening a lot this year. When it comes to making comics I'm really momentum-based where I have to basically hyper focus. So when my momentum is broken, I have a hard time going again...

And focus issues aside, when I combine it with the holidays I've taken I just haven't had as much time to work on comics in general.

It'd be convenient if I aimed to print every comic I made as they're completed (then you'd have a cycle of new prints on the table every time) but I'd rather aim towards thicker books/ bigger projects.

My problems would probably be solved if I made more prints or keychains and the like. I wouldn't have to be so pressed. But again, I know the issue just stems from me. I don't enjoy those things as much and I really want to specialise in shikishi and hand-drawn art along side my comics.

This year I want to be more selective with my tabling. Either that, or draw faster lmfao .

“Actually start planning that next story”

LMFAO what a big joke. I didn't do much on this.

I actually changed my sights to a few more scale ideas, so I'm not terribly fussed by this. Priorities change sometimes, y'know? What's important to me is that I'm still working towards something.

Goals for 2025:

With all of that in mind, here are the goals I've set for 2025! There's a lot so I don't expect to do them all. I would be happy to select a couple of things 😊. Step by step y'know?

"Draw more comics" (Repeatable Quest)

Continue my setsuayu anthology

I'm working on a bunch of little setsuayu stories I'd like to combine into a collection! I don't know if I'll finish for sure, but I'd like to make more progress.

Make non-setsuayu works

I've been bouncing ideas in my head for R3B1RTH comic ideas. And YuShizu. I've always liked these characters so I'd like to finally dedicate some time to them.

Honestly this goal is so incredibly malleable. I don't see it productive to set a static number of works I'd like to release. Because what really matters is if I make work I end up happy with. I could even end up drawing comics that are completely different in topic but still feel satisfied!

"Improve at art" (Repeatable Quest)

I made this goal super broad too because there's a number of things I want to try doing.

General:

study painting techniques

I think more practise with realism and still-life painting would do wonders for me. It'd give me more familiarity with tone and values that would help me in general. I also would like to make little shikishi with still life!

study composition

Recently I bought a textbook about this topic. My composition skills... could be better! It's truly a mystery how I've made so many comics. When I feel stuck with comics, I get the feeling that not being familiar with composition techniques contribute to that.

Traditional:

Continue producing shikishi

This one is a no-brainer! I still want to do artist alley! I still want to practise shikishi more! Not too much to say here specifically since everything else contributes to this.

Learn how to paint

When making traditional pieces, I'm not limited by media. So why not go more multimedia? Specifically I'd like to try a workshop with watercolour painting, or even gouache! Copic markers, although fun to use do have weaknesses. It'd be good to learn more about different media and how they interact with each other to create more interesting pieces moving forward!

Continue to experiment with craft/media

I did a piece with foil this year and it was pretty neat! (but a bit shoddy since it was my first time haha). I'd like to go further and continue designing pieces that use other materials in different ways.

I've also bought special inks that I'm excited to use as well!

"Improve my actual health"

Okay this one is the hardest goal... For context towards the end of this year I've been really tired. By what? I'm not that sure. I'd take multiple power naps a day and still feel sleepy. And I'd get 8 hours of sleep each night... And it's not like I'm restless when sleeping. I sleep perfectly fine but there's always a blanket of exhaustion....

Anyways I think I should eat healthier and get more exercise in. I think it would help my productivity more. (Less snackies for me 😢)

If anyone read this, damn that's crazy!

Let's have a good year!

[lovely-english-rose]

starting?? next few days i am going to absolutely bombard yall with art-

[the-insan1ty-clause]

Therian gear

Im making my first mask of one of mine/our theriantypes rn and i just got done with the base, i still have to add the fur and fluff and all that but thats besides the pointttt

the point is im SO HAPPY RN because ive never had a mask and I’m so excited to be making one! Buying one wouldve been fine but making one ourself is so much more special to me. And all sorts have been pitching in and helping and im& so grateful to all the headmates who are 😖🥰🥰 and anyway. So now ill finally have a mask to go w our new tail!!

plus!! Messaged a friend about it and theyre excited to see it!! I’m so used to my friends making fun of me for """"being a furry"""" that i wasnt prepared for it but! This is the same friend who we chased a laser pointer with and they said it was fun so i shouldve guessed itd be cool 🤭🤭 anyway,

ill be posting the outcome soon, a few days ish if that. So far i think its turning out good so hopefully itll stay that way LOL!

[hxllo-nana]

So I just wanted to ask and say some things.

First of all:

Ur Ink u did for Inktober was really pretty. Look forward to any more Inktober pictures u can do. Only if u can though.

2nd of all: That Halloween Special AU art of Paps and Sans was so cute! Small baby-ish (demon; I think) Paps and teethwear (demon; I think) and/or braces Sans are so cute. I like their aesthetic too.

3rd of all: I was wondering how u been doing on any of ur projects

(like, Dead Ringer, which, I am very excited for the next episode of, and to see some of Sans, Paps, and Frisk's story of Dead Ringer. Will hopefully say something about Ep3 like I have done about the other previous episodes in some form. Or also like Bonnytale; which I read ur update(s) about on it's blog. And I am also very excited about. Or Inkuabtor. Ok, I probably spelled that wrong. Which, I am curious about. And the TikToks of it have been fun. I do hope u share it's story besides TikTok though. I will use TikTok sometimes. Like to see stuff and/or creators' stuff I like; like you. But I do admit; I don't use TikTok that much).

I know u have been jumping around them (and/or maybe even others), and/or probably are just busy and stuff. And I can wait for stuff. I know things can take awhile, and people have lives.

I am just curious.

4th of all: It looks like Hazbin Hotel is coming out in January, and if u are still doing Underhell, that means u will be getting more for that AU/series soon. Which is super cool. I love that AU, and the art and character stuff and stuff have done with it so far.

Also, since Hazbin Hotel is premiering soon, Cartoon Universe did a cool video called: "EVERYTHING You Need To Know Before Hazbin Hotel's Premiere!" , that has some cool info about Hazbin Hotel; that could be useful for ur AU/Underhell

Will say more about Underhell in another Ask, I feel like I have too much to say about it to have it in this ask, and I feel like it's better as it's own other Ask. Plus, this Ask is getting there in length. I don't know when I will send in that other Ask for Underhell though. Also, should I send that Underhell Ask on the Underhell Blog, or this blog?

Last of All: I hope u are doing well! And happy early Halloween!!

Thank you for the ask <3 ur presence means a lot to me! now then *cracks knuckles* let’s get into this

1. I have been doing some inktober works however I’m currently in a headspace where im overally critical with my work so i haven’t been posting them (here’s one i did but i redid it i will post the new one later today)

2. i love my little vamp au even tho i have not build on it and aren’t planning to its still fun to me and im glad u enjoyed it ^-^

3.deadringer process is still slow as i’m focused on college but i have been getting a lot of progress done in which i honestly didn’t think i would, turns out hang drawing/animating as a stress reliever helps me grandly lmao. Also i’m proud of the improvements from the first episode to this one.

As for inkubator I do plan on posting it on Tumblr. So it will only be available on Tumblr and Tiktok! I might have to make another blog for it ooo

4. I have been doing redesigns and story updates on underhell but i haven’t been able to work on it as much as im hyperfixiated on my purple babies (deadringer) and inkubator :’D I will take a look at that though!

5. Any blog is fine! ^-^ im sorry for the slow updates on underhell i promise ill get there 😭

happy early halloween! and thank you for the ask! your care really means a lot to me and i’m glad someone is so interested in my works <3

[lorei-writes]

Trials and Tribulations of an Unconsenting Time-Traveller

Part 19: [To throw] beans against the wall

OC x Mitsuhide Interactive Previous Parts: Masterlist Ending: Good OR Bad

Oh, my, my. The first 5-ish chapters really could use some editing. Err... Maybe even re-writing. And some parts of later chapters. It's all a bit of a train wreck situation overall.

Maybe I shall once we've finished? Who knows, who knows. This story has started long ago, after all. It's all only natural.

Content Warnings: none

Maria sat back on her heels, Mitsuhide watching her carefully from the end of the corridor. Her brows furrowed, what she assumed to be a sort of uncertain worry flickering over his face before he reigned the emotion in. He walked up to her slowly. “I must ask you to follow me, little mouse.”

Guide:

Each chapter you will be presented with a choice(s) which will influence the story - a question(s) at the very bottom of the post. Two answers to it are mine, the third one - is completely up to you. You can add your vote by putting one of the options in the reblog / comment below the chapter.

Before I get to writing the next part, I will count up all the votes. The option the story will follow will be either the one with the greatest number of votes, or the one suggested completely by you (depending on which is more inspiring). If no votes appear, I will simply go by my own choice. There is no set time limit of voting - as long as the next part hasn’t been released, assume it’s still okay to vote.

Characters in this story are assumed to be speaking few different languages. The following is assumed: normal dialogue notation = Japanese; dialogue written in italics = English. Any phrases not written in English will be put in the dictionary at the bottom of the work.

[Rzucać] grochem o ścianę = [To throw] beans against the wall

Back and forth, forth and back, there was little more to the motion, the grime seemingly refusing to leave the creaks between the boards whenever Maria put less than all of her force into her arms. Despite that, there was certain solace to be found in the mindlessness of the activity, the pain in her knees and lower back allowing for her to forget of the events of the morning, even if just for a little while. Another time-traveller? She reigned in her thoughts before they broke into a rush. No. She didn’t need that. A strand of hair escaping from its place in the braid (surely, she would have done a better job, had her hands not trembled so much when she readied herself to do the chores), she hurriedly pushed it back behind her ear, the momentary distraction drawing her attention towards the figure standing nearby. Maria sat back on her heels, Mitsuhide watching her carefully from the end of the corridor. Her brows furrowed, what she assumed to be a sort of uncertain worry flickering over his face before he reigned the emotion in. He walked up to her slowly.

“I must ask you to follow me, little mouse.”

“Has something happened?” she asked, shaking the brush held in her hands.

“It is urgent,” he stated, and simply passed by her, reluctant to offer any further explanations. Dumbfounded, Maria shot up, nearly tripping over the basin of water she used to clean the floor with.

“You’d be smart to stay quiet,” he added, thus prompting her to jog after him.

Regardless of the opinion people held of Mitsuhide, Maria viewed him as a rather kind, although secretive person. Surely, he was not nice, and he enjoyed tricking her, and he was always plotting something… Yet still, she could not convince herself there were any ill intentions at the bottom of this all. That being said, she did not understand the situation in the slightest, the both of them soon leaving the Azuchi castle behind.

“Where are we going?” she asked. They walked at a faster than comfortable pace, but Mitsuhide did not slow down. He hadn’t spared her even a glance, instead leading her through the narrower of the streets, the entire layout of the city getting tangled inside of her head… All for them to eventually arrive at his manor. Maria frowned, but he quieted her before she even opened her mouth, the last digit of his finger guarding his lips as he let out a quiet ‘shh’.

The entirety of his manor was dark, not a soul having stayed behind to tend to the estate. Completely lost on the ‘why’ of things, Maria resigned to follow him, her trust in Mitsuhide – oddly enough – refusing to falter. The corridors seemed much too long, and she was nearly certain he had played with her again, for the room he wished for them to stop at was not more, not less, but his study. Maria frowned (again), but when he pointed at the table, she sat by it just regardless. Mitsuhide lit up a candle and set it in front of her.

“Can you tell me now?” she grumbled.

“My, my. Are you not an impatient little mouse… Or perhaps I have lost your full trust?” he wondered aloud, his back turned towards her as he searched for something within a sizeable wardrobe.

“No. But I want to understand.”

Mitsuhide froze for a moment. He seemed to consider something before facing her again, the bag she arrived with in the past clutched in his hands.

“Explain it,” he demanded while seating himself opposite of her. He turned the bag upside-down, her belongings falling onto the table – her phone (with its completely drained battery), an MP3 player, a pair of earbuds, her wallet, passport, a guidebook, a pair of sunglasses, chapstick, tissues, a map, some hard candy, a bottle of hand-sanitizer, and several other items all rolling around. Maria felt her throat drying up, her eyes growing wide.

“You won’t believe me,” she stuttered. Her head hung low, and just as she always did whenever stressed, she clawed into her own lap, thoughts swirling inside of her head having her heart pound.

“Do try.”

“I… I am not from now,” she hesitated. Her thighs hurt, but she didn’t mind. It provided a pleasant distraction from the anxiety she felt at the moment. Honestly, it was similar to having to take an oral exam on a subject she was not too knowledgeable about, but a hundred, no, thousand times worse. “But from… Tomorrow… But a hundreds… Thousands… Tens of thousands more.”

“Future?” Mitsuhide offered, his eyes scrutinising her. However, he didn’t seem to wish to rush her.

“Future.” Maria nodded slowly. “I… I was on a trip. There was a storm. I don’t know why, but then I woke up, and the building was on fire. Then I thought you were actors… But you aren’t. And this is the past,” she mumbled, her voice growing quieter with each word. She couldn’t explain it any better, nor did she believe for the reality to be real up until fairly recently. She couldn’t expect for him to accept it… Yet he did not seem to argue against her. Instead, Mitsuhide reached for her earbuds, his gaze sliding alongside the wire before he coiled it around his finger.

“What are those for?”

“You use them to listen to music.”

“How?”

Maria frowned. Her phone was dead, so clearly, it was no use. However… The same couldn’t be said about the MP3 player. It was a beast of a device, and the battery worked on months for end when it was not in use, so perhaps… She pressed the “Menu” button. The screen lit up.

“Give it to me,” she asked, and he obliged. Maria plugged the earbuds in, and handed one back to him. She put hers into her ear, Mitsuhide looking at her questioningly.

“Do it…?” she squeaked… And although reluctantly, he did follow her instructions.

Now, the real struggle arose. What song should she pick? In the end, it shouldn’t matter much, yet… Maria swallowed her indecisiveness and pressed play, the track starting just as intended.

His eyes widened. At first, Mitsuhide did not register the fact that the singer’s voice came from the device in his ear, and so, he threw a series of fast glances all around, the earbud falling out in the process. Only then did he realise it was the source of the voice, the place the odd instruments played at. Without uttering a word, he put it back in. Not only did the words sung in it made no sense to him, he could not understand what material was it all made from, how could it fit so many things, how –

Maria changed the track, another artist beginning their performance. And another one. Another… Mitsuhide reached over the table and placed his hand on top of hers. Maria pressed pause.

“How?”

“I don’t know.”

“No. How does this work? How does it fit…?”

“It doesn’t. In the future… We tamed lightning? We have many little machines. We save sound like this. Books are cheap. We… We have boats that don’t need wind. Machines that translate languages. Machines that fly.”

“That fly?” he echoed after her.

“That fly.”

“How far?”

“Far.”

“How far?” he pressed further.

“From Europe to here.”

Mitsuhide sat quietly. It appeared that his curiosity had been satiated… Although perhaps that was not it. Perhaps it was only that things finally had connected in his head, that they had given the past few months some semblance of sense.

“Your times… They are peaceful, aren’t they?” he spoke after a long pause.

“Often. There are wars. And huge diseases.”

“Huge diseases?”

“The… The entire world diseases.”

Mitsuhide sat quietly again. Her heart pounded against her chest, each elapsed second having her wish she could decipher his expression.

“Why ask now?” she blurted out.

“The ninja you have caught this morning. He has told me a very similar tale. It was hard to believe it, although since you have confirmed it… And since I cannot dispute the fact we do have not musicians in,” he paused and half-heartedly pointed at the MP3 player, “tiny boxes, I suppose.” Mitsuhide raised his gaze from the object up to her face. “Maria, although you are considered to be loyal to lord Nobunaga, some of his vassals remain suspicious of you. You must understand that today’s incident did not play in your favour.”

“But I –”

“Do not apply reason where it does not belong,” he interrupted. “I have suspected you may not be fully aware of your circumstances. Little mouse, your involvement with me, our little play, your eagerness to work as a maid, and now the enemy spy paying you a visit. In this world, there are people who ascend through trampling over others.”

“But I’m nobody,” Maria noted.

“Yet I am not.”

Maria tilted her head to the side, confused by the implications of his words. How come there was any connection to be made there? If anything, in the past months, she had spent more time being tutored by Ieyasu and Mitsunari, not to mentioned the self-defence lessons Masamune watched over. Mitsuhide clicked his tongue.

“Allow me to explain,” he sighed dejectedly. Somehow he still found himself stunned by her obliviousness, the sharpness she exhibited when adapting to the situation standing in direct contradiction to her understanding of humans as a whole… Although perhaps, that was Maria. A contradiction. “As of now, there are two fractions working behind the scenes. The first one spun the tale as follows: ‘Lord Akechi has been in close contact with the foreigner ever since her arrival. He has not only vouched on her behalf, but tutored her, and requested for her to join him on the mission. He has later presented her as his lover, and used her. But how has she learnt Japanese so fast? And how come an ordinary woman had enough grit and stealth to be a messenger? She has protected Lord Date, and has clearly earned his favour. She was injured, yet she does not seem shaken. She must have been in service of Lord Akechi all along. And now, she has contacted an enemy spy. They all must be traitors.’ ” Mitsuhide cleared his throat. “The second story is a less colourful one. It simply states: ‘Lord Akechi holds the foreign girl in a dear place in his heart. Were we to threaten her, he would comply with our demands’.”

Maria took the information in slowly, her face not revealing any of the emotion that passed through her. She nodded several times, the tiredness accumulated over the past few weeks finally catching up to her. She watched Mitsuhide, and he watched her in turn, amber eyes holding back some secrets she was not certain she was allowed to even ask about.

“Why are you telling me this all?” she probed.

“The ninja told me you can go back to your original time. I plan to escort you both to Kyoto.”

Her eyes burned – but not from tears, or anger, or sadness, or fear. They burned through him, the intensity of her stare having Mitsuhide shiver.

“I don’t want to,” she stated firmly.

“I am not asking whether you’d like to go, little one. I am telling you to,” Mitsuhide spoke in a voice barely louder than a whisper. He reached over the table, long fingers brushing against the strand of hair that has escaped from her braid. He guided it back behind her ear, the light of the candle cracking over the fresh uneven scar. His gaze faltered. It was his near-sightedness that led to her being hurt in the first place. He never wished to –

Mitsuhide tensed. Maria took his hand in hers, and held it to her scarred cheek, never once dropping his gaze.

“I want to stay. I like this life. I am better at speaking now, and I can read more. I am useful.”

“You may get hurt again.”

“I am fine with that.”

Mitsuhide retracted his hand.

“I took you along, so you wouldn’t be a nuisance among the soldiers.” It was only a half-truth. But it could keep her safe. “You made yourself a nuisance to me instead. I had to find you a task, even if only to keep you occupied. And now you refute the reality of things?”

“Exactly. I can always wash the floors.”

Mitsuhide did not let his composure slip. His eyes narrowed as he set them on breaking through her stubbornness, hot guilt simmering just below his ribs. He took note of the dark circles below her eyes. It wouldn’t take long. It couldn’t take long. Not when she was in this state.

“And if I made you wish you could return to your home?” He sat closer to her and held her chin up.

“You won’t.”

“How can you be certain?”

“You’re a kind man.”

Mitsuhide pushed her to the floor. His body hoovered above hers, but Maria didn’t protest. He pulled her collar open, but she didn’t stop him. He unravelled her obi. He pushed his knee between her legs. He wished, no, begged for her to resist him, to show him any sign of fear, so that he could cut this act short. However, she only smiled at him. It even reached those tired eyes of hers as she held her hands up to cup his face. Mitsuhide froze. Stubborn. Offensively stubborn.

“When we slept in one bed, you moved away in the morning not to poke me,” she giggled. Offensively bold as well. He felt his ears heat up – he’d be damned if they were not red. “Let me tell you my story. ‘I arrived in an unfamiliar place. I was taught the language. I was taught medicine. I was taken to a mission, but I was a fool all along. Lord Akechi tried to protect me. He took care of me, made up a task so that I wouldn’t mess up his plans. He wanted to keep me in the dark, so that I wouldn’t slip. But I have made mistakes. I am weak, so…’” she hesitated. “So…”

What should Maria say?

a. Use me as your pawn. b. I know I am a burden. c. Something else. (What?)

Dictionary

Rzucać grochem o ścianę – To throw beans against the wall; idiom -- to do something without it achieving any results; usually to try to explain something without it being understood by the listener

Tag list for the series: @bestbryn @xarexraven

[tv-gh0st]

Damnit i made a new au

guess what time it is

time for

✨My own Links meet au!✨

and the zeldas meet up to!

ive got an idea for story but jts a little bit to much like Lu for my liking so i am currently editing it and will be posted hopefully soon!!

zeldas will also get designs to ima be focusing on this whole au to actually cas aprently my hiatus is over ill be working on other aus from time to time but theres alot to do for this and i am bery exited!! ill be making a master post once i post some more stuff im really exited!!

bellow the cut is my current designs for Links(no full body drawings yet cas there are 14 links ad 15 zeldas i need to draw and i am not dealinf with that shit today)

Before the split

Sky

skyward sword Link

20 years old

first chosen hero

forged the master sword

dating Sun(his zelda)

always looks like hes gonna fall asleep

very expressive

Minish

Minish cap

17 years old

can be small like minish

the smith kf the group

Social anxiety

lets the minish do his hair!

Fallen hero Timeline

Four

four swords

Four swords adventure

18 years old

the colors sre very separated

others only think hes a little crazy talking to himself

Oracal

Ages

Seasons

Links awakening

"Collector"

17 years old

keeps a flower in memory of Marin

learned how to braid his hair from her to and keeps it like that

has alot of shit

Worlds

A link to the past

a link between worlds

triforce heros

princy

technicly a prince cas of fabel(Zelda and his sister)

bunn boi

his colors blended much easier

Hyrule

the legends of zelda

links adventures

travler

16 years old

also alot of items

gets lost easily especially with the weird geographical part of the merge

very curious

Child timeline

Twilight

twilight princess

Farmer/Wolfie

19 yo

has a wolf tail and wont explain why or how he got it

can control when he comes wolfie usually but sometimes when they move around he just is wolfie and cant become hylian

big brother energy

Babys litterly any one whos younger then him even if its just by a year(Wild and Time do count cas of there weird ages)

Warriors

Hyrule Warriors

captin

23 years old

did cry over his scarf once

big brother energy aswell but in a funner "you were supposed to watch over the,! But no one was put to watch over me!" Kinda vibe

knew wind and mask before but they didnt know him its weirddddddd

mentioned minda and marin and others lost thrre shit

Age

Age of calamity

champion

17 years old

gravitates twords Warriors

Might have acidently been the start of a new split in the timeline no one actually knows where age sits exept hes on the child timeline

Wild

Breath of the wild

Tears of the kingdom

Archerer

Wonderer

keeps the arm and the sages idc how totk ends

physically hes like 20 ish chronologically hes 121 mentally hes like 17 years old

can cook wonderfully

eats randome shit for fun

is a lik shit

is very loyal but definitely took alot to get that loyal

is extremely weirded out bt Age

Adult timeline

Wind

Wind waker

Phantome Hourglass

Sailor

14 years old

has tetras bandanna

thinks the green heros tunic is dorky as fuck snd hates the hat

has tried to shoot every link out of a cannon that hes had the opportunity to with wavering success

is gonna fo bat shit crazy/ good way

Spirit

Spirit tracks

Conductor

15 years old

very done with ur shit at all times

i dont think he knows what color is(wears alot of fucking grey)

Likes wind tolerates the others

is gonna go bat shit crazy/ bad way

And ofcourse Time and Mask

Time

Ocarina of time

18 years old

mentally 9-10 years old

doesnt actually know how to read

from adult timeline

friends with Malon

socially akward mess

Mask

Ocarina of Time

Majoras Mask

11 years old

tired of everyones shit

in denial of all this timeline merging stuff

Thats all the Links!

Master post here!(coming soon) Zeldas prt 1 here! Zeldas prt 2(Coming soon)

[pretty-little-martyr]

hi I'm sorry if this is. idk awkward but I saw your tags on that post about changing how people talk about getting gynecologic care and you might want to look into vaginismus. It's a condition that causes those muscles to tighten up often very painfully anytime any sort of penetration is attempted. Physical therapy, dilators and muscles relaxers can help but ofc its something that should be discussed with a doctor to make sure you're getting the correct treatment. ALSO! You can request laughing gas for pap smears and other invasive gyno procedures. It is something they do. Usually if you tell them any insertion at all is extremely painful it'll be offered but if not you can ask for it. Some places might be able to do full sedation but I think that'd just depend on the facilities since that would require an anesthesiologist as well

and also vaginismus is like extremely super common (iirc at least 20% of people with vaginas experience it at some point in their lives) the problem is just that nobody talks about it because well. Society. this is not something abnormal or wrong with you in a bad way, it's just a medical condition that you happen to have and need accommodations for. if that helps at all

hey thank you for reaching out fr, it's not weird at all! ive been trying to figure out if it's that or just general "pelvic floor problems" whatever that entails. im getting HRT/gender care from Planned Parenthood these days, and they have told me i would Have to get another exam/smear next year (which i am terrified about tbqh) and they've mentioned they'd give me something or other to help, probably laughing gas like you've said (which ive never actually had).

i did tell that gyno that i'd never put anything in me and that even tampons were horribly painful, and their reaction was to act like i was crazy and lying and that never happens to anybody lmao the woman literally stared at me as if she was waiting for me to say 'haha just kidding' and asked me like 3 times over if i was sure i was a virgin at my big age (21 at the time). even after i was crying and bleeding and having a panic attack they were incredibly apathetic towards me. so! yeah. to be quite honest i'm not interested in dilators or physical therapy--not to knock them, i just want my whole shit removed, so why put in that effort and (probably) gain new trauma from putting things in me, yknow? the mere concept kinda makes me ill. im considering looking into surgery sometime soon-ish. my family might lose their shit about it, but, i dont think they can stop me now that i live by myself, and unless their insurance blocks it, i should be good to go on that.

anyway. id be so down to get fully sedated for it. put me under for like 30 minutes to get all that shit done and i dont have to be present for it or acknowledge it at all thanks. also might help in general, if the muscle tightening is something semi-voluntary/if that even is my issue. ive also considered if i just have a very small hole. i think thats referred to as a neovagina? i dunno.

i really appreciate these asks <3 very kind of you and. somehow i did not really register the potential of asking a different doctor about their thoughts on it i guess ASDFGHJK i just sort of. the initial event was traumatizing enough i still sometimes have nightmares, which is super dope, and remembering it too hard makes me feel very violated, so really i try not to talk about it so much. i was super fucking stoned last night, is probably why i even left those tags jhgvbhnjkm.

tldr thank you for your kindness and i am really hoping my next exam will feature me either Unconscious or Off My Ass On Laughing Gas Or Something. if theres some chance i HAVE to keep my equipment rather than getting surgery i may genuinely look into therapies just for my own convenience but beyond that i just really ... really do not want any items up in there.

[juyeonszn]

WIPS !

HELLOOOO like my other blog, i decided to include a wip list bc i have a lot of things i’ve been working on!! <3

FORMULA OF LOVE

pairing ୧ eric sohn x f!reader (smau)

genres ୧ fluff, slice of life, some angst, crack

summary ୧ your friends always poked fun of your rivalry with eric sohn despite never really holding a substantial conversation with him. unfortunately for you, the two of you happened to take the same biology class for the summer semester. your other problem? he really needs to pass the class and you’re the only one who can tutor him.

featuring ୧ the rest of tbz, yeonjun from txt, yunjin from le sserafim, ningning from aespa + other idol appearances

WHEN IN ROME

pairing ୧ lee sangyeon x f!reader (fic)

୧ estimated wc: 5-7k ~ currently: 1k

genres ୧ fluff, angst????, crack

summary ୧ being selected as the maid of honor for your best friend’s wedding in italy is exciting, if you ignore the fact that you’re single and lonely. mix in some self pitying and a few too many drinks on the 12 hour flight over there plus knocking out on your handsome seatmate and you’re all good to go! however, the universe does not take kindly to you winning, so you soon learn that said handsome seatmate is actually the best man and now you need to do everything in your power to get away from him.

warnings ୧ um none yet bc i’m only like 1/5 done

CRAZY STUPID LOVE

pairing ୧ kim sunwoo x f!reader (smau)

genres ୧ fluff, crack, slice of life

summary ୧ being the manager of the baby/kids department of a retail store has its ups and downs, one of those ups being the cute young dad who comes in almost every day with his daughter. which is funny considering the fact that you’re the reason why he does it.

featuring ୧ sangyeon, younghoon, hyunjae, juyeon, kevin, haknyeon, and eric from tbz, hyunjin and felix from skz, yeji and lia from itzy, nayeon from twice + mentions of other idols

COLLISION

pairing ୧ lee hyunjae x f!reader (fic)

୧ estimated wc: 10-15k maybe more ~ currently: 700

genres ୧ fluff, angst, smut? maybe?

summary ୧ after nearly dying from a terminal illness, you awake in the hospital following a life saving heart transplant surgery. the first thing you notice is a young man outside of your room crying and very visibly upset about something. wondering who he is and why you feel so connected to him, you ask your nurse. she explains that he’s grieving the death of his girlfriend who passed away in a car accident— and her heart is the one you received.

SLOW DOWN

pairing ୧ kim sunwoo x f!reader (fic)

୧ estimated wc: 10k-15k-ish ~ currently: 700

genres ୧ angst-ish, smut, other things idk how to describe

summary ୧ the semester is drawing to a close and you still have no idea what your final project for your photography course is gonna be. the topic is stepping out of your comfort zone, but that’s the only thing you’ve never done. when your brother invites you to one of his races, you discover that there’s a whole world of exhilaration just beyond your limits. both literally and figuratively.

PLANNING !

ok these are things i have the ideas for, but just haven’t actually started working on. eventually they will be moved up to the wip list, but for now they are just in the planning stage

ALL MY LOVE

pairing ୧ jacob bae x f!reader

summary ୧ to put it simply, you like to keep your circle close. as a dog walker, it was kind of hard for anything to capture your attention if it didn’t bark and have fur. however, your new client and his cute dog just might change that.

BABY BLUE LOVE

pairing ୧ kevin moon x f!reader

summary ୧ isn’t it kind of meta for a series about tumblr mutuals falling in love to be posted on tumblr?

© juyeonszn. do not steal, claim, or repost.

[mapleshmaple]

,

[saturnsstufff]

Also! Firstly I just wanted to say that i really like your writing and slow pace in the Empress series! Its really poggers. Secondly if you're taking request: could you maybe write something where Phil helps Techno ask out (y/n)? I just think that Phil would be such a great wingman (pun maybe intended lmao). I really like the way you write your Empress series' setting and characters so maybe you could do some sort of royal au similar to it? Not cannon to the series of course. If not then the dsmp still works :D (sorry if i sent the ask twice! My internet's shit lol) ~🌻

Awh! Your all good!!🖤 and thank you!! one Prince Techno comin up! (Im so sorry i got this out late, and that its poor, I was stumped hard on this for what to put!

My darling- Technoblade

Warnings: none

Techno was a pretty well known and loved Prince. He was elegant, kind, gentle, sarcastic, funny, talented. He was just perfect. To Techno you were perfect. You were one of the servants sure, but he didn't mind that. You had the most gentle outset he had ever seen on someone. You could just walk into a room and somehow everyone was in love with you. 

Techno had feelings for you for a awfully long time however, no matter what he did he couldn't push himself to tell you. Far to afraid of what you would say to him in response. He rather sit suffering in silence as your friend, than risk loosing you completely.

You felt the same way. Techno was always so gentle with you. always asking if you were comfortable, if you felt safe, he would even make sure that you wouldn't be over worked. You couldn't count the nights that he read you to sleep in the library. Everyone found you two utterly adorable with your hesitance towards each other, they couldn't wait for the day one of you slipped up and confessed.

Phil on the other hand? Oh, oh he found this scenario hilarious. See Phil was often the one that helped get you two alone together. Ranging from distracting advisors, governors, consorts, you name it and Phil probably has diverted them at least once. Phil would go as far to joke that he was the one that had set you and Techno up originally. 

Although Phil found this whole situation hilarious, he did feel bad for his friend. Techno was a hard worker, he often put a lot of time into his country and his people. but, sadly techno would rarely take care of himself. Now Phil wasn't setting you up with techno so you would become his care taker. Rather he knew with you around, Techno would be more conscious of himself as to not worry you. like always, Phil was right too. 

It was a off day. Techno had himself rested in one of the lounge chairs that resided in the library. Lately his feelings had become painful to hold back. Even the voices started banding together, telling him he had to confess.

Phil had to return some books so when he walked into the library and saw techno, he wouldn't have said he was suprised. "What's on your mind now?" Phil mused. Placing the books back on there specific shelf. He earned a sigh and groan from Techno. "Its (y/n) isnt it" he mused. "Mate you should just tell her. Get it over with. You know she'll like you back"

"Phil I.. I can't- she's- shes just so perfect" Techno's heart melted at the thought of you. He rested the crook of his elbow over his eyes. "I.. i dont even know how or where to ask her.." Techno started sounded almost defeated. Phil couldn't bare to watch his friend mope about anymore. He knew somthing had to be done.

Phil didn't waist time on his new plan. He was determined to see you together by the end of the night. He found you outside hanging the laundry. When you saw Phil you smiled brightly.

"Hello Philza" you said, folding a sheet in your arms. Phil leaned on the post well he watched you. Amusement lacing his lips.

"Hello, (y/n) i was talking to Techno the other day. He mentioned you quite alot" you felt your cheeks heat up as you looked to him. Hearing that he talked about you made your heart beat faster.

"H-he was? W..what did he say?" You asked, now fully invested in him more than your work.

"Oh he was just rambling off, you know how he can be. However, he uh, did mention that you were quite beautiful. Smart, funny. You know all that fun stuff" he said casually. If your heart could have did a leap it would have. The idea of Techno call you beautiful was beyond you.

You moved closer to Phil, "w..was that all he said?.." you hoped there was more than he was telling you.

Phil pondered a moment and smiled. "Well he was curious if you would meet him at the stables for a date. You know, let him take you for a ride in the country side" you were speechless, but filled with utter excitement at the idea of a date with him. "Want me to tell him you'll be there?" You nodded fast.

"Please, ill take off early to meet him there even" you said with the widest smile. This warmed Phil's heart to see how in love you were with his best friend.

"Alright' ill tell him you'll be there" Phil said smiling. His plan falling into motion. Now he had to corral the stubborn bull named Technoblade.

"You should take (y/n) for a horseback ride" Phil said upon entering his friends office. Techno's brow furrowed, causing him to look up from his papers.

"Take her for a... why?" Techno said mid confusion. Phil shrugged casually.

"Well I was just talking to (y/n) and you know she had off-hand mentioned it that she really liked fhe horse rides with you." At this statement techno blinked a bit. He pressed his lips and thought breifly.

"Well i uh.. I mean if she wants to, i'll glady take her". Techno said. Moving his few papers asside. Looking at Phil. "When does she want to leave?"

Phil hummed and looked at the clock. Mentally assuming your work schedule. "What about four-ish? Get there early for her?

Techno nodded. "Dosnt she work until five?" Techno knew your schedule mostly because he was the one that would meet you after it for casual walks.

"Normally. But she said she would take it off early to go with you" Phil wanted to keep semi to the truth. But he knew as soon as you two were alone talking, it would be over. The two of you would quickly discover that Phil was behind this.

When you waked up to the stables you smiled happily. Waiting with a horse in hand was Techno. He gave you a kind smile. Happy to see you in such a joyful mood.

"Ready to go?" He asked gently. You nodded fast, excited to spend the evening with him. He offered his hand to you. When you took it he gently pulled you close. Lifting you up onto his horse. After you were situated on the sattle he climbed on behind you. Wrapping his arm around your waist securely, wanting to assure you wouldn't fall off eather way.

You relaxed into him like you always did. Content with his company. With the nudge of his heel's you both were off on your way.

Well you two toured the country side casually. You decided to thank him for the date. Seeing as you felt it was the beginning of somthing great. "Thank you for taking me on this date Techno... It really means alot to me..." you herd techno give a 'heh?'.

"Princess I adore your company. But what on earth are you talking about?" This was your turn to be confused. You looked up at him to see if he was joking.

"Phil said you wanted to take me on a date..." your eyes grew saddened. "W...was this a lie?..." Techno's heart weighed heavier at the sight of your sad eyes.

Techno felt like he hit a wall. Does he explain he wants to take you for a date more than anything? Or keep quiet. After seeing your eyes, he knew he couldn't break your heart more.

"I... I do want to take you for a date... I've wanted a date with you more than you realize... However, I didnt ask you... Im assuming Phil actually set us up..." he said, looking away a light red. You gave a soft gentle smile.

"Hey..." you tilted his head to look down at you. "Even if he set us up... I'm glad he did" Techno looked down into your eyes. His going gentle.

"You are?..." you nodded gently. Giving a gentle kiss to his cheek.

"I got a date out of it with you"

[smajorqna]

(Click for better quality)

Hello!

————–––--–––————

Welcome to the blog i made because i thought of it in class and i need some sort of way to feed my hyperfixation.

Here is a carrd with more info about this mess. (coming soon)

All art belongs to me!! I made it!! Please dont steal or use for ai (sense thats been getting popular recently..). And please ask before reposting and if your too nervous please at least credit me :)

(Press "Read More" below for tldr for the carrd and an ID for each image)

(Last updated: 12/10/22 11:19am CDT)

————–––--–––————

And now if you look just below youll see all the tags i use and what they mean :) (more will be added in the future)

#smajorqna - all posts posted on this blog

#4th wall breakthrough - ooc posts

#smajor of rivendell - all answers from c!scott

#hearts the creator tm - all answers/cameos from my persona, hearts

#hello deer anon - all questions from fellow anons! Hello anons :)

#(tw/cw here) - obviously wont say that exactly but if a post talks about anything triggering or anything that needs warning i will put it there and i will put it at the beginning of the post :)

#posts about beloved husband - posts mentioning or even including the one and only codfather (will be also used as flower husbands tag so if you don't wanna see that block it!!!)

#cameos - other character cameos featured

#id below read more - will be put for every post with images in it (besides dividers)

#the 17th letter of the alphabet - this post was queued

Heres the tldr of the carrd: (aka a list of things i need to add to it)

This is C!/CHARACTER!!! In no way am i impersonating scott the content creator. I am simply answering questions the way i think his esmp1 character would answer.

Admittedly, i have never watched scotts esmp1 series- i mostly know about his character through clips, fanfics, fanarts, and other fans. I know im such a fake fan /sarc so if i get any lore or canon wrong please tell me and ill do my best to fix it. If i cannot, then oh well to bad so sad.

This will include my personal headcanons so if you haven't heard of whatever even or something from canon, its most likely a headcanon

This will also include flower husbands (c!scott x c!jimmy) so uh yeah dont imply any other ships other than them only because i dont personally ship it (its fine if you do, i have nothing wrong with that :) just keep it out of this blog)

Everything you see on this blog was done on my phone using my finger. So obviously there will be mistakes. So yk use common sense and dont point them out :) its rude.

And lastly, this is literally my first time doing this ever so please be nice, im sensitive

ID for each image/panel:

[Panel 1 (one): (start id) outlined and colorless drawing of empires season 1 (one) character scott looking confused or worried, there's a question mark symbol next to him showing he's confused. He's looking at another character to the right with the same drawing style. Scott's outline/lineart is a dark cyan. To the right of scott there's a character with shortish hair, pointy ears like scotts, with a plain t-shirt. They look feminine-ish and their expression looks happy. Near them is text saying "Me, the creator tm" pointing to them. The character's outline/lineart is a dark magenta-ish, or a really red pink. On the bottom of the screen is a grey box with a smaller box on the top left corner saying "Scott" in a dark cyan. Below is text in the same color saying "So.. Remind me of what to do here..?". (End id)]

[Panel 2 (two): (start id) Same character's and poses as panel 1 (one) with different expressions. Scott's expression is still similar, except this time his mouth is closed. The character's (who's name is Hearts) expression changed to them talking with their eyes closed. They look happy. Below them is the same dialogue box except with a different name and obviously different text. The name now reads "Hearts" and the dialogue says "You're going to answer some questions from people because I'm bored and I need something better to do with my life. :)" in the same color used for Hearts' outline. (End id)]

[Panel 3 (three): (start id) Scott is now center with Hearts gone, leaving a "Bye!" where they were last. Scott then looks to the left with an exhausted look. In the dialogue box it says in the dark cyan outline scott has with scotts name above, "This will be easier said than done..." (End id)]

Also yes ik the original third panel i misspelled "easier" but its too late now im tired

[dearly]

Pete Wentz (6:39:20 PM): Hey Ryan Ross (6:39:39 PM): hey Pete Wentz (6:40:09 PM): Is this the guy fro poanic at the disco Ryan Ross (6:40:23 PM): yeah im ryan, is this pete? Pete Wentz (6:41:12 PM): Yeah Ryan Ross (6:41:18 PM): hey man Pete Wentz (6:42:37 PM): How arer you Ryan Ross (6:43:17 PM): im not bad, working on a paper for english. hows everything with the new record? Pete Wentz (6:44:37 PM): Going really well Pete Wentz (6:45:04 PM): How's everything wiht your band are those just remixes Ryan Ross (6:46:01 PM): awesome, yeah we only did those on my laptop because we cant get into a studio yet. but we still have alot of those parts live and full band Pete Wentz (6:46:25 PM): Does it have samples like that Pete Wentz (6:46:42 PM): How many people are in the band.... Are you guys all in hicghschool Ryan Ross (6:47:20 PM): do you mean do we use a sampler? our drummer uses a drum sampler which we put some of the stuff on, and he plays some of it Ryan Ross (6:47:43 PM): im in college. im 18 the other three of them are 17 and in high school Pete Wentz (6:48:26 PM): Like of the pure volume site songs what would not be part of your live show Ryan Ross (6:50:18 PM): well right now the synth stuff because we need a keyboard player. we are trying out a few guys soon though. and some of the drum parts are different. Pete Wentz (6:50:48 PM): I absolutely love the stuff Ryan Ross (6:52:16 PM): but we have two guitar players one sings and i play lead. its kind of hard to describe it. we are a rock band but about half of a song will be dance-ish or sort of 80s sounding Ryan Ross (6:52:28 PM): really? wow thanks alot man Ryan Ross (6:53:12 PM): it really is a huge compliment coming from you Ryan Ross (6:53:35 PM): i was actually really suprised you listened to it Ryan Ross (6:53:40 PM): i didnt expect you to see it Pete Wentz (6:54:00 PM): Is there some pics of you guys anywhere Ryan Ross (6:55:10 PM): no, we are taking them pretty soon for the website, its just not done yet. i have some just of me on livejournal. but thats wierd haha Pete Wentz (6:56:09 PM): Yeah fuck get some to me Pete Wentz (6:56:19 PM): I think I may come see you in californaia Ryan Ross (6:56:44 PM): really? Ryan Ross (6:57:08 PM): that would be awesome Pete Wentz (6:57:46 PM): I've been listeneing to those songs nonstop. Is the band a side thing or is it gonna be fulltime? Ryan Ross (6:58:20 PM): no its full time Ryan Ross (6:59:24 PM): well aside from school. which sucks Ryan Ross (6:59:32 PM): but we want to do this Pete Wentz (7:00:00 PM): When are those kids out of school Ryan Ross (7:00:26 PM): the drummer and bass player are graduating early. so like january and other guitarist/singer graduates in the spring Pete Wentz (7:01:16 PM): Nice Pete Wentz (7:01:23 PM): Do you know about my label Ryan Ross (7:01:46 PM): yeah i think i saw something a while ago on a journal entry, is gym class heroes the only band on it right now? Pete Wentz (7:03:10 PM): Yeah. I signed the academy. But they are fbr strictly gym class and I am looking for another Pete Wentz (7:03:33 PM): The cool thing about it is I just met with waner and they want both of the bands and to give me an imprint Ryan Ross (7:03:55 PM): oh cool i like the academy alot, oh i see yea i was going to ask you about that Pete Wentz (7:04:03 PM): Which pretty much means a lot more money to promote cool artists Pete Wentz (7:04:14 PM): You guys plays out a lot? Ryan Ross (7:04:39 PM): thats awesome man. actually no we just kind of started this thing up a few months ago, the show in victorville is going to be our first one Pete Wentz (7:05:51 PM): Really Pete Wentz (7:05:56 PM): Interesting Pete Wentz (7:06:11 PM): How much do you guys practice Ryan Ross (7:06:45 PM): we've been trying to figure out the best way to do this stuff live, and we've been having a hard time on figuring out how to make it sound good. depending on the place we might not be able to use all the electronic stuff that we want to do which sucks but alot of venues, at least here might have a hard time setting us up. we practice at

least 4 times a week so like. between 24-30 hours a week Pete Wentz (7:07:09 PM): Nice Pete Wentz (7:07:21 PM): I am gonna come to the show Ryan Ross (7:08:13 PM): we wish we could more often. but school is getting in the way. and it sucks cause parents think its a waste of time playing music and want me to focus on school. im sure you know how that is. Ryan Ross (7:08:23 PM): thanks alot man really Pete Wentz (7:08:55 PM): I do Pete Wentz (7:09:05 PM): What are peoples reactions to it Ryan Ross (7:10:04 PM): some good some bad. everyone is so into post hardcore stuff these days that some kids just brush it off. which is fine but then some kids like it cause its a little different i guess Pete Wentz (7:11:30 PM): Can that kid sing live? Ryan Ross (7:12:54 PM): yeah, he's been taking voice lessons for a little bit so thats starting to help him Pete Wentz (7:13:19 PM): Is he on? I mean on here he sounds awesome Ryan Ross (7:14:21 PM): yeah he's on pitch, we recorded that stuff with like a 100 dollar vocal mic. the only effects we used was pretty much reverb on the main parts. Pete Wentz (7:14:42 PM): Yeah sounds good kind of like patrick Pete Wentz (7:14:47 PM): I like it Ryan Ross (7:16:57 PM): yeah thats the only thing we get that alot. and thats just how the kid sings. we like your band but we dont want to sound like you guys, or be compared to fob all the time you know? but yeah he is aware that kids say he sounds like patrick so he's just trying different vocal stuff sometimes. Pete Wentz (7:19:06 PM): Here's the thing if I show you guys interest a lot of crappy labels are gonna come and do the same and I don't want a huge mess out there. I mean how interested are you guys in going fulltime when you can Pete Wentz (7:19:19 PM): Yeah you'll get eh patrock thing but how many people. Sound like hime Ryan Ross (7:19:47 PM): so you really think we've got potential then? Pete Wentz (7:19:54 PM): I do Ryan Ross (7:20:05 PM): i've wanted to play in a band for my job ever since i started high school at least. Ryan Ross (7:20:07 PM): we all want to do this Ryan Ross (7:21:05 PM): its like i cant put enough dedication into anything exept playing guitar and writing Pete Wentz (7:23:01 PM): I'm with you Ryan Ross (7:24:05 PM): but yeah. i cant see myself doing anything else but playing in a band, cause every job i've ever had ive hated it Pete Wentz (7:24:57 PM): You don't have a picture of the band Ryan Ross (7:25:44 PM): no, but if you need it i could have my buddy take some tomorrow at practice Pete Wentz (7:26:58 PM): That would be rad Ryan Ross (7:27:37 PM): okay we'll take some Ryan Ross (7:28:08 PM): are you online much? Pete Wentz (7:33:12 PM): Sometimes Ryan Ross (7:33:35 PM): okay, i was just wondering if this was your email incase you arent on i'll just send them Pete Wentz (7:34:17 PM): Yeah send it here for sure Ryan Ross (7:34:36 PM): okay Ryan Ross (7:34:55 PM): dude this better not be a joke, it better be you Pete Wentz (7:35:12 PM): It is Pete Wentz (7:35:34 PM): But there are a lot of fakers out there Ryan Ross (7:35:55 PM): okay. yeah i know someone has shown me like fake journals of you and stuff. thats creepy Ryan Ross (7:36:10 PM): thats why i asked if it was you for sure Pete Wentz (7:36:32 PM): This guy who is iming me is your manager Ryan Ross (7:37:03 PM): is it xxxtoughffxxx ? Pete Wentz (7:37:22 PM): Yeah Ryan Ross (7:37:38 PM): i dont know if he's our manager. he's our friend, he's been helping us out with a website, merch and the show in victorville Ryan Ross (7:38:35 PM): he's starting a company up and he wants to help us out Pete Wentz (7:43:04 PM): Ah I got t Pete Wentz (7:43:32 PM): It Pete Wentz (7:43:37 PM): You guys are awesome and if its what I think it is I want ti to be thenext academy Ryan Ross (7:44:58 PM): wow thanks alot. i hope you like the stuff live, its not completely different but it is different. i mean the singing is the same and all that. Pete Wentz (7:47:46 PM): cool Pete Wentz (7:48:06 PM): You guys look good. The chicks gonna be swooning? Ryan Ross (7:48:38 PM): once we get

a keyboard player who can do all of the sampling we want to do it will be alot better too. its like we know how we want to sound, but just finding the right way to do it i guess is what we are working on. Ryan Ross (7:48:40 PM): hahaha Ryan Ross (7:48:51 PM): i dont know man, we look alright i guess Ryan Ross (7:48:57 PM): we look young Pete Wentz (7:49:42 PM): Youngs not abd at all Pete Wentz (7:49:47 PM): How does the singiner look Ryan Ross (7:50:05 PM): dead sexy. Ryan Ross (7:50:41 PM): he's no pete wentz. but still Pete Wentz (7:51:42 PM): Hahaha Pete Wentz (7:51:54 PM): Goddamn as long as he looks cool.singing Pete Wentz (7:52:14 PM): For sure send me pics and all how many songs you guys have? Ryan Ross (7:52:39 PM): haha Ryan Ross (7:53:00 PM): kk Ryan Ross (7:53:54 PM): we've only got 4 right now, its been tough to write since school started and everyone's busier. and those are the first 4 songs we've written as a band. at the show we'll play those and a cover of new order maybe. or depeche mode. we dont know yet Pete Wentz (7:56:08 PM): Nice Pete Wentz (7:56:21 PM): I gotta run Pete Wentz (7:56:32 PM): But ill hit you on here later Pete Wentz (7:56:38 PM): Send me those pics and write the hits Ryan Ross (7:56:43 PM): okay dude. good talking to you Pete Wentz (7:56:43 PM): Peaaaaaace Ryan Ross (7:56:44 PM): hahaha Ryan Ross (7:56:47 PM): later man Pete Wentz is away from the computer as of 7:56:51 PM. Auto response from Pete Wentz: Igot99problems Pete Wentz is back at the computer as of 10:05:48 PM. Pete Wentz is away from the computer as of 10:06:23 PM.

[tamorapierce]

Tammy's Spring 2020 Reading Recommendations For the Bored

Sooner or later the bookhounds among us are going to start joining my relentless song, from age five on up, of “I don’t have anything to read!!!!”

 I am here to help.  In this space, as I get to it (knowing, as my readers do, that I have no sense of deadline), I will be posting a constant set of collections of book titles by authors my team and I have read and will recommend in a wild variety of genres and for a wild variety of ages.  (And I’ll give a short hint as to the subject of the first book/series—if I did them all I’d never finish this.)  This last is for the many of you who are reading teen and adult books in grade and middle school, and those adult readers who are reading teen and kidlit. These people are for those who love books and don’t care who is supposed to be reading them.  

 Also, you may have to look far and wee, since we will be drawing upon not only recently published books but older ones that we have either read recently or that we read long ago and have re-read or have never forgotten.  Don’t say I didn’t warn you when the writing is archaic.  If you’re a true nutsy reader like the rest of us, you won’t care.

 -Tammy Pierce

                                                        *     *     *

Assume the book came out within the last 2 years unless I put LO next to the title, which means you have to check libraries and bookstores online and paper for copies.

 *     *     *

 Diana Wynne Jones  LO

A generation or two of fantasy writers, particularly those who love humor, bow to this woman as our goddess.  Not only was she out of her mind in a very British and manic way, but with her TOUGH GUIDE TO FANTASYLAND she taught a number of us to ditch some ill-considered tropes of our genre.  If you write historic fantasy in particular, move heaven and earth to track this book down.  There’s a bonus: some of the entries will make you laugh till you cry.

           She is best known for her books for middle grade and teens, but they are enjoyable for all readers.  I cannot list them all here because my fingers will break (curse you, arthritis!), but these titles will give you a jumping-off point.  And remember, authors change with each book, so you won’t encounter the same author with each title as the author you read in the previous one!

           The Chrestomanci books, all in the same universe, in order of story,

                       not publication

Charmed Life  (1977) An innocent lad follows his plotting egotistical sister to live with England’s chief wizard

The Lives of Christopher Chant (1988)

Conrad’s Fate (2005)

Witch Week (1982)

The Magicians of Caprona (1980)

Short stories

 The Dalemark Quartet begins with

The Spellcoats (1979)

3 sequels

 The Derkholm books are

Dark Lord of  (1998)

Year of the Griffin (2000)

  The Tough Guide to Fantasyland is standalone, but is a kind of offshoot of the Derkholm books.  You don’t have to have read the Derkholm books to get Tough Guide!

 There are other books and stories by Jones—I’ll let you find them on your own.

  Philip Pullman

To this day I am unable to call him anything but Mr. Pullman—that’s how much in awe of the man I am.  We’ve had dinner together, talked on the phone, talked at an event or two, done a conversation on audio with Christopher Paolini—it’s still Mr. Pullman to me.  (I was an assistant in a literary agency when I discovered his work, and I never recovered.) He is, in a word, brilliant, and his interests range through all kinds of areas, particularly history and religion.  I could have talked with him forever that night we had dinner, but the poor man had jet lag and I let him go to collapse.  It was one of the best exchanges of ideals, values, and books I’ve ever had.  

Read his work carefully, because what he discusses is never just the story on top.  No matter what he writes, he is making strong points about social justice, human nature, religion, and history without preaching.  He is one of the few male writers out there who can write female characters as people, not Something Different.  And you never know, with his work, where he will go next.

 The Ruby in the Smoke,

book 1,  the Sally Lockheart mysteries

Victorian mysteries with a female hero and male assistants,

           The Book of Dust and sequel,

first 2 books of The Secret Commonwealth

           His Dark Materials trilogy

                       The Golden Compass

                       2 other titles                

           THE COLLECTORS

           LYRA’S OXFORD

           THE WHITE MERCEDES

           FAIRY TALES FROM THE BROTHERS GRIMM

           I WAS A RAT!

           TWO CRAFTY CRIMINALS

           COUNT KARLSTEIN

           (I will stop here and let you find the rest. Most are available as Nook books.)

  Sharon Shinn

I discovered Sharon Shinn with JOVAH’S ANGEL, but a shortage of funds left me unable to pursue my interest (I am an economic disaster with libraries, so I buy rather than borrow) until, with a job and money to spend, I spotted THE SAFE-KEEPER’S SECRET.  It is the story of a medieval-ish world and a small village where a baby was left with a childless couple.  She is raised as their daughter and discovers, as she grows, that her mother is an important, a Safekeeper, the person to whom a secret can be told, relieving the person who told it of the weight of guilt from it, to be carried by the Safekeeper until the owner either decides to tell or dies.  (And if they die without giving permission, the Safekeeper never reveal the secret.)  The baby who is adopted by this town’s safekeeper becomes the safekeeper in her turn.

           The next book is THE TRUTHTELLER’S TALE, about a girl who acquires the gift (??) of telling the truth, whether the person she tells it to wants to hear it or not. The third book is The Dream-maker’s Magic.  The three main characters now learn why they have been brought together over the course of the two earlier books, in what I thought was a satisfying, if unusual, conclusion.

           And there’s more!  I just did the two I love best!

             THE SAFEKEEPER’S SECRET (book 1, two sequels)

           ARCHANGEL (4 books)

           TWELVE HOUSES (5 books)

           ELEMENTAL BLESSINGS (4 books)        

SHIFTING CIRCLE (2 books)

           UNCOMMON ECHOES

           GENERAL WINSTON’S DAUGHTER

           GATEWAY

 Daniel Jose Older

 I was a Daniel Jose Older fan before I was sent DACTYL HILL SQUAD for a blurb (preodactyls in flight!  Of all sizes!  Confederate spies!  Thuggish bigot northerners!  The backlash of Gettysburg and the forced recruitment of blacks for the war effort! And strong, smart, fierce kids of various ages, sizes, colors, national heritage, and skills doing their best to help the war against the slaves, keep escaped slaves safe, duck the cruel managers of the homes and jails where they are being kept, find a half-decent meal, free other kids in trouble, learn who’s killing their friends, and help the dactyls!  That’s part of it, anyway!

Yeah, I loved it.  And there’s at least one new book, and once I’ve mowed though that, there are his older teen books, and his grownup mysteries, with their half-dead taxi driver who doubles as a part-time troubleshooter for the undead powers in his Bone Street Rhumba series.  {happy sigh}

  Edgar Allen Poe

Yes, some of these are reminders of why we ended up to be the readers we are and to nudge us to corrupt—I mean, “introduce”—­new readers to the glories that are our legacies.

­

THE COMPLETE TALES AND POEMS OF EDGAR ALLEN POE

           Here are the greats:

poems like “The Raven,” and “Annabelle Lee”

stories like “The Fall of the House of Usher,” “The Telltale Heart,” and  ::shudder:: “The Pit and the Pendulum” (yes, a deep pit and a swinging pendulum topped with a razor-edged blade will be featured in this story).  

My dad would read these to us on dark and stormy nights when we lived near the Pacific ocean, when the fog came rolling in, softening every sound, when there were no cars driving by and no other sounds in our house but his deep voice and the crackle of the fire in the fireplace.  We would listen, soundless, as he wove the stories and poems around us and the foghorn sounded offshore.

           That’s the power of Poe.

  N. K. Jemisin

I think I began with Jemisin’s THE HUNDRED THOUSAND KINGDOMS, soon followed by its sequel THE BROKEN KINGDOMS.  The series ended with a third book, THE KINGDOM OF THE GODS.  She presented a rich and varied world from the aspects of people of different classes, showing the growth of societies and their formation.  I have a secret passion for society-building and social interaction, and whether or not a book is difficult to read (as Jemisin’s books are in spots because she refuses to insult a reader by talking down to them) is immaterial.  I want the world and I want the characters, and with her far-reaching mind and her respect for her characters she delivers each and every time.  I have read almost everything she’s written since that first trilogy: if I’ve missed something, it’s because I was in the middle of a deadline and on the road and somehow didn’t see it.  I’ll catch up!  This is just a sample:

           For readers of all sexes and adult reading skills

 The City They Became (pub’d April 2020)

 The Inheritance Trilogy:

           The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms, 2010

           2 book sequels

Novella: The Awakened Kingdom, 2014

                       Triptych: Shades in Shadow, 2015 (3 short stories) 

             The Dreamblood Duology:

           For readers of all sexes and adult reading skills

           The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms, 2010

                       Two sequels

 The Broken Earth series:

         The Fifth Season (August 2015)

                       Two book sequels

And there are plenty of short stories out there.  I may even have missed a book or twelve!

For those who prefer to hear my ramble in person, a video!

[qqueenofhades]

I was already distressed about the political and social situation in the US, and then this happens. Are there any examples of societies that fought back against fascism and won, without civil or international war breaking out? Surely there must be some success stories in history. How did other societies overcome fascism, are there lessons to be applied to our current situation? Please tell me we're not doomed, because I have no hope for the future.

Sigh.

Okay.

I’ve been through... a lot of the stages of grief by now. That is, rageposting on tumblr, venting to my friends via text, drinking, crying while drinking, lying on my bed and staring at the ceiling, feeling the crushing weight of certainty that we’re all screwed and nothing matters, crying while talking to my sister, crying generally, lying in bed some more, and am currently still in bed while writing this, but am struggling to put on my internet historian aunt hat and offer some comfort to the stricken masses.

First off: This is bad. I’m not even going to pretend this isn’t bad. We all knew RBG had cancer again, but it was pretty fixed in our minds that she would somehow manage to hang on until after the election. 45 days before the biggest presidential election of all time, in the middle of this year, when names including Ted “Zodiac Killer” Cruz and Tom “Time for Roe vs. Wade to go, block federal funding from being used to teach about slavery, send in the military to crush the BLM protesters” Cotton have already been floated as some of her possible replacements? With Trump and McConnell determined to work as fast as possible to steal this seat as brazenly as they can, because they are literal fascists who don’t care about their own example (Merrick Garland was nominated in FEBRUARY of an election year and McConnell held it up for being “too close to the election?”)

Ugh. Anyone who doesn’t get that this is bad or acting like people are overreacting doesn’t get what’s at stake. And when, as we’ve said before and are saying again now, the future of everyone who isn’t a white straight rich Republican man in this country depends on an 87-year-old woman with cancer for the fourth time? Something’s wrong here. RBG’s death did not have to leave us in this total existential panic, and oh yeah, maybe this could have ALL BEEN AVOIDED AND WE COULD HAVE ALSO HAD THREE (3) NEW LIBERAL JUSTICES SECURING PROGRESSIVE LEGISLATION FOR A GENERATION IF SOME OF YOU HAD JUST FUCKING VOTED FOR HILLARY CLINTON IN TWO THOUSAND AND FUCKING SIXTEEN.

(Why yes I am still mad about that, I will be bitter until the end of time that we were consigned to four years and counting of this completely avoidable nightmare because of apathy, misogyny, and Leftist Moral Purity TM, but we’re talking about the future and what can still be done here, not what’s in the past.)

Anyway. Here’s the bright side, which admittedly sucks right now, but it’s been the answer all long:

VOTE.

You have to fucking vote, and you have to fucking vote for Biden/Harris. Everything that we’ve been talking about is no longer a hypothetical; it’s happening right now. This is not just some Awful Worst Case scenario, and it’s not somehow being spouted by privileged white liberals ignoring the struggles of the masses. (Viz: that awful fucking text post with its simpering self-righteousness: “are you punching nazis or just telling oppressed people to vote blue?” I hate that text post with a fiery passion and it’s the exact kind of morally holier than thou leftist propaganda that wouldn’t surprise me if it was generated by a troll farm in Krasnoyarsk.) My dad is disabled and lives on Social Security. Trump’s second-term plan to end the payroll tax takes SSID out by mid-2021, so... I guess that’s my dad fucked then. I’m a gay woman with long-term mental illness, no healthcare, no savings, no current job, and a lot of student debt. My sister has complex health problems and relies intensely on publicly funded healthcare programs. All my family have underlying conditions that would put them at worse risk for COVID (age, asthma, immune issues.) These are just the people IN MY HOUSEHOLD who would be at risk from a second Trump presidency. It says NOTHING about my friends, about all the people far less fortunate than us, and everyone else who IS ALREADY DYING as this nation lurches into full-blown fascism. That is real. It is happening.

Here’s the good news and what you can do:

Democrats are fired up and mad as hell, and they’ve already donated $31 million between the announcement of RBG’s death last night and today, and that number is climbing every second.

You can help by donating to Get Mitch or Die Trying, which splits your donation 13 ways between the Democrats challenging the most vulnerable Republican seats in the Senate. That also has raised EIGHT MILLION BUCKS in the less-than-twenty-four hours.

You can donate RIGHT NOW to Joe Biden and Kamala Harris, vote if your state offers early voting, request your mail-in ballot, or hound everyone you know to ensure that they’re registered.

You can call your US Senators (look up who they are for your state, ESPECIALLY IF THEY ARE REPUBLICAN OR YOU LIVE IN A SWING STATE OR ARE UP FOR RE-ELECTION IN 2020) and phone the Capitol switchboard at 202-224-3121 to voice your insistence that they respect RBG’s last wishes and refuse to vote on any Trump nominee until after January 2021.

The other good-ish news is that I woke up to an email from the Biden campaign this morning about how they’re well aware of this and they’re already on it. BUT WE CANNOT COUNT ON EITHER THEM OR THE SENATE DEMOCRATS TO BE ABLE TO STOP IT. Because Joe Biden is not president and the Senate Democrats do not have a majority, if the Republicans manage to rush a nominee and a vote and all 52 GOP senators vote for that nominee, hey presto, tyranny by majority, a SECOND stolen Supreme Court seat, and a 6-3 hard conservative majority for the next generation. Even if Roberts or Gorsuch sometimes defect on procedural grounds, Kagan, Sotomayor, and Breyer (who is also 82 and thus ALSO might soon be replaceable, thus resulting in an EVEN WORSE ideological swing) would be outnumbered on everything. This is terrible. I’m not even gonna pretend it wouldn’t be.

BUT:

If Joe Biden is elected with a Democratic Senate and House, IT MATTERS. It gets us off the fascism track, it gives us the ability to make progressive law and have it enacted without going to die in Mitch McConnell’s Kill Stack, it gives Biden the executive authority to nominate liberal judges and change Trump’s worst outrages on day 1, it stands as a huge example of a nation managing to reject fascism by democratic process, and while yes, we’d still have a terribly rigged Supreme Court, Democrats would control all the other branches of government and be able to put safeguards in place. The other option is outright fascism and the end of American democracy for good. This may sound alarmist. It’s not. It’s literally what the situation has ended up as, as all of us who were begging people to vote for HRC in 2016 saw coming all along.

So yes. That’s what you need to do, and what WE need to do. We need to make as much goddamn noise as possible, protest, contact elected representatives, make sure everybody pulls their weight and ferociously fights the promised attempt to ram through a new justice before Election Day, all that. But even if that does happen, THEN WE NEED TO FUCKING DONATE, ORGANIZE, AND VOTE FOR JOE BIDEN AND DEMOCRATS UP AND DOWN THE BALLOT. ALL OF US. NO EXCUSES. NO MORE TWITTER LEFTIST ECHO CHAMBERS. NO MORE. THEN, EVEN WITH A RIGGED SUPREME COURT, WE WILL ALL BE SAFER ON NOVEMBER 4TH AND CAN TRY TO FIX WHAT’S BROKEN.

The stakes are just too high to do anything else.

May her memory be a blessing, and a revolution.

[rpf-bat]

Have You Heard The News That You’re Dead?

Pairing: Gerard Way x Reader

Genre: Drama, Horror

Summary: Written for Gothtober 2020, Day 23.  Prompt: “Afterlife”. 

You’re a cancer patient. You’ve travelled to Hawaii, for an operation, that you hope will save your life. But, while you’re in the hospital, your nurse tells you the story of the Night Marchers. Legend has it, that anyone who sees their parade, will die. When you begin hearing phantom marching-band sounds at night, you start to wonder if the legend could be true. 

It had been a year now, since you were first diagnosed with stage three leukemia. Chemotherapy alone had not slowed the disease down. So, you had travelled to a hospital in Honolulu, for a transplant procedure, that you hoped would save your life. You’d been receiving radiation conditioning for a week now, to prepare your body, to receive the donor’s stem cells. 

Today, your favorite nurse was on duty. Her name was Leilani. 

“Aloha, Miss Y/N,” Leilani smiled, as she entered the hospital room, to bring you your daily dose of busulfan. “How are you feeling today?” 

“Tired,” you said sleepily. “The drums kept me awake last night.”

“Drums?” Leilani repeated curiously. 

“Yeah, I could hear music, outside my window, all night,” you explained. “Was there a concert, or a luau, going on in town, or something?” 

“Maybe the sound that you heard was the Night Marchers,” Leilani said mysteriously. 

“What are the Night Marchers?” you asked, eyes wide. 

“Oh, it’s an old Kanaka Maoli legend,” Leilani chuckled. “There were these warriors, who served the chief, in ancient times. They say that after sunset, they rise from their graves, and march through the streets, towards the site of the battle they once fought.” 

“Ghost warriors?” you blinked. “Now, that would be interesting to see.”

“Oh, no, Miss Y/N,” Leilani shook her head. “You do not want to see them. Legend says, that anyone who watches the Night Marchers, parading through town, will die.” 

“I...I would die?” you gulped. Just for looking at a ghost?

“That’s how the story goes, anyway,” Leilani shrugged. “They say the only way to survive an encounter with the Marchers, is to lay down on the ground, and avert your eyes. But, it’s only a folktale, so don’t worry about it. Give me your hand, and take this pill, okay?” 

“....Okay,” you frowned. Something about this folktale, made you very nervous. 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

That night, you tried your best to fall asleep. You knew you needed your rest, but the hospital bed was so uncomfortable. What was worse, your illness had left you in severe pain. Leilani had gone home for the night, and you didn’t feel like calling the other nurse, for a dose of painkillers. You tossed and turned, trying to just be still. 

Then, you heard the sound again, in the distance. A drumbeat, outside your window. 

Could it really be a parade of ghosts? you wondered, staring up at the ceiling. No way - it’s probably just some street performer. 

The bed creaked, as you turned away from the window. The drums grew louder, and, if you were not mistaken, you could hear trumpets joining them. Seriously - what the hell was that?

Your curiosity overwhelmed you, and you gingerly stood up from the bed. You padded over to the window, and peered through the blinds. You gasped at what you saw. 

It really was a parade. But, these were no grass-skirted warriors. They looked like a high school marching band. From the second story window, you could just barely make out their black and silver jackets. The leader, in front, had short-cropped white hair. You were too high up, to see his facial features. Who the hell was he?

You watched, fascinated, as the band marched past a stop sign. Your blood froze, as the parade leader phased, intangibly, right through the sign post.

“A...a ghost?!” you gasped. Were these really the Night Marchers, after all?

A wave of dizziness suddenly hit you, and you felt faint. Your vision faded to black. 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

You woke up the next morning, in your hospital bed. Leilani was standing at your bedside, adjusting your IV bag. 

“Leilani!” you gasped. “I saw them last night!” 

“Saw who?” Leilani frowned. 

“The Night Marchers!” you shuddered. “They’re real!” 

“You must have had a bad dream, Miss Y/N,” Leilani shook her head. “I’m sorry that my stories frightened you.” 

“B-but…,” you protested. 

“Ssh,” Leilani interrupted. “You have bigger things to concern yourself with, right, Miss Y/N? Your transplant surgery is today.”

“That’s right,” you realized. Today, you would finally be infused with the bone marrow, that would hopefully send your cancer into remission. You were lucky that a donor had been found for you. You knew that many people succumbed to the disease, without ever making it to the top of the waitlist. 

“The doctors here at Hawaii Cancer Care are very skilled, Miss Y/N,” Leilani assured you. “I’ve watched their surgeries save many lives.” 

“You think that the surgery will be successful?” you gulped. The truth was, that you were still nervous. 

“I’m sure of it,” Leilani said positively. “You have nothing to worry about.”

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

That night, after the surgery, you once again found yourself struggling to sleep. Your time in the hospital was not yet at its end. The doctors needed to observe you, a little longer, to make sure the procedure had done what they hoped. And your body, of course, still ached. 

Suddenly, you heard a noise. This time, it was not coming from outside your window. The music sounded like it was emanating from the hallway, outside your door. But, the military-ish drumbeat was unmistakable. It was the ghostly marching band again. 

You stood up, leaning on your IV pole for support. You felt unsteady on your feet. You knew it was unwise, to be moving around, so soon after your procedure. But, you couldn’t shake the compulsion to look. 

You shuffled over to the edge of the room, and hesitantly opened the door. You poked your head out, and that was when you saw them. 

A whole parade of specters was marching through the hospital corridor! There were phantoms in masks, at the back. But, the five men at the front, caught your attention. Their faces were uncovered, and they were playing instruments, as they stepped forward in time. 

The one in front, with the pale, white hair, clearly seemed to be the leader. He raised his baton in the air. The phantoms followed him. 

Was this real? you wondered, shaking. Or, were you dreaming? 

Your IV pole rolled away from you, as you accidentally released it from your grip. The wheels made a skittering sound, on the linoleum floor. 

The marching band leader’s head snapped up, and he turned around, seeking the direction of the sound. 

You dropped to the floor, remembering Leilani’s warning: “They say the only way to survive an encounter with the Marchers, is to lay down on the ground, and avert your eyes.”

You trembled with fear, as you covered your eyes with your hands. 

Don’t see me, you pleaded, heart pounding, as you lay as still as possible in the doorway. Don’t see me…..please don’t see me…..

“Miss Y/N!” gasped a familiar voice. “What are you doing out of bed?”

You opened your eyes. The parade of ghosts was gone. There was only Leilani, looking down at you with a concerned expression. 

Am I going crazy? you wondered, eyes wide. Did I hallucinate that whole thing?

This didn’t seem possible. The blonde man’s piercing gaze had felt all too real. 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

You opened your eyes, hours later, and saw someone standing at the foot of your hospital bed. It wasn’t Leilani. It wasn’t any of your nurses. It was the blonde man, who had appeared to you in the night. 

You screamed. 

“It’s alright, Y/N,” the man whispered. 

“H-how do you know my name?” you gasped. “Who are you?!”

“I’m Gerard,” the man introduced himself. 

“I mean, what are you?” you demanded. “Are you a Night Marcher?”

“No,” Gerard shook his head. “I am the captain of the Black Parade.”

“What do you want with me?!” you asked, shaking. 

“We’ve come to guide you to the afterlife,” Gerard explained. 

“What?” your eyes widened. “You’re saying….I’m dying?” 

“Yes,” Gerard nodded. “I’m afraid that you’re fated to die of a stroke tonight.”

“There’s no way that I’m going to have a stroke!” you denied. 

“I’m afraid that you’re already having one right now, in your sleep,” Gerard revealed.

“No!” you cried. “If this is a dream, then, I have to wake up right now!” 

“You won’t,” Gerard said calmly. “It is your time.” 

“But...that doesn’t make any sense!” you argued. “I just had a bone marrow transplant! It’s supposed to cure my cancer!” 

“You’ve developed what’s called graft versus host disease,” Gerard explained. “The donor’s cells see your body’s tissues as something foreign. They’re attacking them.”

“So…..you’re some sort of Grim Reaper?” you realized. “Where’s your scythe? Aren’t you supposed to look like a skeleton?” 

“I took this form, in hopes that I would not frighten you, Y/N,” Gerard explained. “Do you not find it comely?”

The truth was, you found the phantom’s appearance, extremely handsome. You could see his strong-looking arms beneath his black jacket. Above the jacket’s high collar, he had a beautiful, almost angelic-looking face. 

But, he’s an angel of death, you reminded yourself grimly. You wanted to cry. 

“I...I can’t die yet,” you stammered, tears welling up in your eyes. “I’m still so young. There’s so many things I haven’t done yet. I’ve never even fallen in love.”

“A surprise, and a tragedy,” Gerard said softly, gently stroking your cheek with this thumb, and wiping away your tears. “For such a beautiful woman.”

“You...you think I’m beautiful?” you sniffled. 

“I do,” Gerard confessed. “I’m sorry, that the powers that be, have given you such a short time on this earth. It is not for me to decide. My job is simply to walk with you, to your destination.”

“You mean, the afterlife,” you guessed. 

“Yes.” 

“What’s going to happen?” you wondered, feeling scared. “Are you just going to drop me off in some limbo, a-and leave me there?”

“No,” Gerard promised, wrapping you in a comforting embrace. “Y/N, I will stay by your side, as long as you need me.”

“I don’t want to be alone,” you sobbed. You found yourself clinging to the specter, holding onto him tightly and sobbing into his chest.

He stroked your hair gently. “Sssh,” he consoled you. “It’s alright. You’re not alone. My marching band is waiting for you, just outside this room. We’ll all walk with you, to the Other Side. You will have as many friends there, as you wish.” 

“You want to be my friend?” you asked, staring up at him, with wide eyes. 

“I want a great many things from you, Y/N,” Gerard confessed.  Suddenly, he grabbed the collar of your hospital gown, and pulled you into a kiss. His lips were warm, and soft, like a living person’s. There was no coldness of the grave, in his touch. 

You kissed him back, soothed that, at least, someone was by your side, until the very end. 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

The heart monitors screamed, as Leilani ran into the room. The flatline on the screen, told her that her favorite patient was gone. Tears welled up in her eyes, as she stared down, at the woman’s terribly still form. 

“A-Aloha, Miss Y/N,” Leilani sobbed. A word that could mean both hello, and goodbye. 

There was one small comfort, as she pulled the sheet over Y/N’s head. Her final expression was a smile of bliss, as if she’d just received a pleasant surprise.

[atiny-piratequeen]

We need to talk

So. Good morning, good evening, whatever time of day it is. Im here to have a nice little chat about readers sending in requests and the general...entitlement that sometimes comes from readers.

So we writers who have requests open, sometimes we have funky little guidelines. What we will write, what we won't write. If you're going to come to someone who takes requests and has their guidelines right in their bio or mlist, you owe us the common courtesy to read the guidelines. Some of these writers do not sit and take time to type up these lists of dos and don'ts for 3+ people a day to pretend they can't read guidelines posts and fling around requests anyway.

If you're unsure about guidelines, or a person doesn't it have it available in the bio, ask first.

Now. That was a little extra. Im here specifically to talk about the severe entitlement some of you feel when it comes to how soon things come out around these parts. With her permission, Shea (@yeomjoo) has allowed me to use her sc of a person who requested she write something for them.

As she is a college student with college life things(tm), as well as a queue of people before this person, she told them around the timeframe it would take to write it (around the end of march-ish)

I want you all to know this behavior is fucking

Unacceptable

We writers work through a lot of shit sometimes. Grieving, physical/mental/emotional illness, balancing writing updates between work and/or school, basic life, etc.

If you have to fucking wait for something someone is giving you for free. (Bc lets be real here, even with writers with kofis, how many of you actually buy one or two? I personally have been blessed by some friends of mine helping support me with kofis along the way and it means the world but I've also seen other writers who have said their kofis are there in their bio untouched for months) You are the reader asking us for something. If we say yes to it, it may take time for us to finish it.

Especially if we're taking requests. Do you know how many people send requests when they see they're open on people's blogs? There are people in front of you! Be patient!

Especially if we're writing other works. Balancing writing story driven works between smaller requests is difficult sometimes. Honestly, many authors will prioritize the story first and do the requests later. Be paitient!

ESPECIALLY IF THEY HAVE BUSY ASS LIVES WITH SCHOOLWORK OR JOBS. NONE of yall out here are playing sugar parents, so I know damn well if someone ended up failing an important test or getting fired from their jobs because they prioritized writing this fanfic over doing what needed to be done in their lives first, none of yall who pushed them are gonna step up with nothing other than a "oh that sucks, when are you posting?" Or pretending you cant read the part where they say they're struggling.

This includes some of yall who have the audacity to attack authors (usually on anon like cowards) for not updating the specific fic you want, while they post others.

Some of yall are downright disgusting when it comes to how you treat us writers. Ive seen people insult, belittle, bully, harass writers for not writing the work they want WHEN they want it.

Go write it yourself if you need it in a deadline???? If its not a request and its on original work, sorry dog, you gonna have to fucking wait.

We are people, not machines. You do not get to crack a whip at us and tell us to type for your amusement when you want to and how fast you want to. We have lives to live, some more busy than others.

At the end of the day, 98% of these asks, these ~requests~ are not commissions. You're asking us to do this shit for you for free. Have some fucking paitience and respect. Idk who handed you life on a silver platter whenever you stomped your feet and got bitchy with them but thats not how it works in the real world. Grow the fuck up and treat people with respect. Especially if you're asking them for something.

Thats it. Its only by the grace of hindsight that I don't say who that person is (not with the intention of people attacking them, but for other writers to know to avoid this kind of person and keep them out of dms, but i know some people see a url and run with it so I'm leaving their url out of this, but if you see this, know that you're wrong as fuck and I hope someone humbles you soon.)

Dont be that person. Dont be the people insulting writers for when they get updates out. Dont be the person to insult someone's writing skill and belittle them. If you've got the time to antagonize writers, you can learn how to write your damn self.

Be better than this. Thanks.