#also hopefully it's not like a flashback scene

[hornychristianprincess]

wasted (leehan x fem reader) pt 2

paring: leehan x fem reader genre: smut, fluff, angst, fuckboy!leehan word count: 8k summary: tumbling into bed with Leehan isn’t so uncomplicated when you’re forced to set parameters around your relationship. warnings: explicit sex scenes, oral (female receiving), more butt action but nothing crazy read the fic on AO3 should you please by clicking HERE.

“So. You and Leehan?” questions Jaehyun as you now find yourselves alone, walking back to campus with your borrowed textbook now in tow.

You shrug, feeling like there’s nothing to tell as you process the now mere second interaction with the aforementioned stranger. “It’s nothing. We just hooked up at a party once.”

When you went to that house party a few weeks ago with your roomate, looking for an excuse to get drunk, sex was not on your mind at all. Still, it happened, and it was satisfying, but you truthfully spared no additional thought to that night in the aftermath, outside of a few occasional ripples up your body anytime a particular flashback popped into your mind.

“Are you, like, into him?” asked Jaehyun, who you were sure was asking so that he could know if there was any expectation on your end for him to play matchmaker. Or, maybe he wanted to warn you first, tell you about all of the strange things Leehan does as a roommate that would make your skin crawl. Either way, you weren’t interested, not even sure how deep your attraction to Leehan went or even if you’d see him again before you could think about any further action.

“He’s a little strange,” you reply, “But I’m attracted to him.” Not to mention how good of a fuck he was, you think to yourself, withholding such candor from Jaehyun who you’re sure has heard enough.

“Well,” said Jaehyun, opening the door for you as you reached the building of your morning class, “If you want to see him again, me, him, and a couple of our neighbors are driving out to the countryside to see the lunar eclipse this weekend. It’s supposed to be super pretty out there. Plus, I know you wanted me to tell you if me and friends were ever going out, and well, this is about as exciting as it gets.”

You contemplate the invitation with earnest, thinking through your homework load and wondering whether or not you can afford a weekend spent off-campus. 

In your pursuit to try and make friends as you settled into this new campus community, you’ve been hopefully awaiting Jaehyun to inform you of any activities he and his friends were partaking in. 

Leehan’s presence wouldn’t necessarily be a bonus, but it also wouldn’t be a detractor either. Maybe Leehan takes the one in one-night stand seriously. Maybe, he won’t be interested in interacting with you at all.

Or maybe, you’d have the chance to get to know the person who thus far has brought an unprecedented amount of excitement to your life. 

“What time are you leaving?” you ask Jaehyun eagerly.

You meet Jaehyun and his friends outside in the parking lot of their apartment complex on a breezy, Saturday morning. 

In the swarm of new people you meet, a mixture of Jaehyun’s neighbors and classmates, you don’t immediately see Leehan, and for a second, you wonder if maybe he decided not to come. 

It shouldn’t matter to you, really, and yet you can feel disappointment swelling hot inside you at the observation of his absence.

That is, until a few moments later, when he comes out from the front seat of a nearby parked car. Judging by the various bags he leaves on the dashboard, you can guess that he’s probably coming back from a store run.

He joins the eight or so of you huddled outside and says nothing to directly acknowledge you, although you suppose he shouldn’t have to. At this point, you’re still nothing more to each other than strangers who are perhaps – at least on your end – hoping to get to know each other a little better. 

You notice how handsome he looks as his long hair is tucked neatly behind his ears and the glasses you’ve seen him wear before are hung neatly into the collar of his white shirt. 

“Alright, so me and Leehan are driving,” says Jaehyun, standing in the middle of the circle you’ve all naturally formed. You watch him scrunch his eyebrows as he makes a quick count of how many of you are there.“There’s space for four in mine, and three in his. So we can just split up that way.”

Your first instinct is to ride with Jaehyun, the only person who you truly know and are comfortable with. But four of his friends are closer and quicker than you are, and not wanting to make an issue, you can only watch as they pile into his car before you can say or do anything.

“Well aren’t I just lucky?”

You turn around to face a smirking Leehan, whose deep and sultry voice was recognizable even before you saw him. You don’t know what to say so you just laugh, getting into his car and quickly moving past the fact that both his voice and closeness just now made your entire body buzz with excitment. 

Bad with names, you could barely recall any of the friends who Jaehyun introduced you to, but luckily the two people in the car with you and Leehan are those whose names you happened to remember. In the front seat with Leehan was Riwoo, whose calm voice and demeanor immediately gave you the impression of someone you’d get along well with, and in the back with you was Sungho, who you remembered because of his resonant laughter.

“So, Y/N,” says Leehan, only seconds after you’ve pulled out of the parking lot. “Tell us about yourself.”

You can’t tell by his tone whether he’s joking or being serious, nor can you catch his expression through the rearview mirror. So, you simply shrug. “What do you mean?”

“Well, you’re the new person here. We want to know everything you have to share,” he replies, and if it weren’t for the encouraging hums of agreement from Riwoo and Sungho, you’re sure you’d brush him off and say nothing at all.

‘Well, I’m a transfer student,” you explain, delving into the reasons behind your decision. It was mostly because you wanted a different experience, something intimate and small, unlike your previous school. “I used to go to a school in Tae-an.”

“Tae-an? You guys get a lot of fish down there, don’t you?” perks up an excited Leehan, and when you raise an eyebrow in confusion at the sudden switch in topic, Riwoo is quick to explain.

“Don’t mind him. He’s obsessed with fish. It’s half the reason why he wanted to come out to the countryside with us,” he says, and Sungho laughs along as if this is something they make fun of him for all the time. You notice how Leehan doesn’t seem to take this personal at all, in fact looking almost prideful at his friends’ observations of his interest. 

You decide that it’s something you like about him, how he has such a unique way of thinking and behaving and doesn’t seem to care when others point it out.

“Anways,” continues Riwoo. “How are you liking it here so far, Y/N?”

You take a second to consider the question. In the month or so since you’ve started class, spending this time today with Jaehyun and his friends is truly the most enmeshed you’ve felt on this new campus. 

“It’s nice. I’m grateful to Jaehyun for showing me around. The people I’ve met so far are really cool.”

“Are they?” quips Leehan, meeting your gaze in the rearview mirror. Everything about the way he looks at you is flirtatious and suggestive, even as you’re in a car with other people. “Well, consider yourself welcomed.”

You spend the rest of the car ride answering questions about yourself, most of which are directed by Leehan. And as hard as it is to read Leehan and his motivations behind such interest, it feels nice to be the subject of attention. To hear his breezy laugh when you say something sarcastic or watch his face scrunch in concentration as he listens to you tell a long story.

It’s about two hours into the drive that the four of you make a stop in the parking lot of a grocery store. Riwoo, Sungho, and Leehan use the time to get out and stretch their legs, while you go inside to buy snacks. 

When you return from inside the store, you’re surprised to see everyone but Leehan still outside of the car. Before you can ask what’s going on, Sungho opens his mouth in explanation. 

“So, apparently Leehan found a bungee jumping place on his phone nearby,” he informs you passively, “and says we’re taking a detour to go to it.”

The last words you were expecting to come out of Sungho’s mouth, you almost bust out laughing, but can tell by both Sungho and Riwoo’s matching expressions of non-plussed sincerity that these are the sort of hijinks Leehan gets up to all the time. 

So when the three of you pile into the car and Leehan excitedly exclaims, “Let’s go bungee jumping!” you can only sigh and lean your head against the window tiredly.

Just before you arrive at the bungee jumping facility, Riwoo and Sungho ask to get dropped off at a nearby restaurant, disinterested in being a voyeur to Leehan’s irregularity. Sharing the sentiment,  you’re just about to follow them out of the car when Leehan twists his body around to face you. “You’re doing it with me, right?”

All you can do is laugh, unable to take him or his spontaneous thrill-seeking serious.“You’re fucking crazy.”

“Said the detractors of every genius ever,” he retorts, smiling as he watches you react in disbelief to the pure sincerity behind his words. “C’mon,” he urges, laying a hand on your knee. “Don’t make me do this alone.”

The touch of Leehan’s fingers against your knee brings warmth even through the fabric of your leggings. You don’t understand how you got to the point where someone you barely know could convince you to do such an extreme activity like bungee jumping with them, and yet, you find yourself considering it as you melt under Leehan’s touch and curious personality. 

“I’ll go up with you, but that’s it,” you relent, fighting back a smirk as Leehan jumps up in his seat at that.

“Atta girl,” he replies, making your stomach swoop, and then you’re back in motion as he pulls the car out of the restaurant parking lot.

You arrive at the facility just a few moments later, finding it relatively empty and breezing through the process of signing waivers and other paperwork. That just leaves the two of you to walk side by side as you get on the elevator to the jumping platform, Leehan already strapped up and ready to go while you just linger for moral support.

Leehan runs a hand through his hair, causing the strands of his brown locks to cascade across his forehead. “I’m so excited. I’ve wanted to do this for forever,” he remark excitedly. The elevator rises into the air, making your stomach drop as you peer through the glass window and notice how high you are.

“This is higher than I thought it would be…:

“Don’t be scared. I’m here, aren’t I?” Leehan replies, a joking tilt to his voice as he smirks at your puzzled reaction. 

Amused at the presumptuous notion that his presence would bring any kind of comfort to you, you raise a curious eyebrow, asking in derisive sarcasm, “Is that supposed to mean something to me?” 

“It means I won’t let anything happen to you,” he declares sincerely, though like always you can’t tell if he’s being serious or not. Because while his words seem purely absurd, he says them with such shocking clarity that it’s not hard to feel butterflies fluttering in your stomach. Plus, he does spontaneous things like this – taking a detour from a road trip to go bungee jumping – with such confidence that it gives credence to the idea that he’s a person who is serious in all of his crazy ideas.

“You trust me, don’t you?”

It seems crazy to admit to yourself that, for reasons you can‘t understand, you actually feel like you do trust him. You also hate the way that his smile seems to unlock all types of hidden depths of desire deep within you, a feeling beyond just nerves overtaking you until you have to look away to keep yourself from smirking.

“Stop talking nonsense. I think the adrenaline is making you delirious,” is what you mumble when you don’t know what else to say, and the sound of Leehan’s laughter in the aftermath let’s you know you're not convincing anyone by trying to appear unaffected by his flirting. 

With a shaky thump, the elevator reaches the jumping platform. You watch from a slight distance as an attendant attaches a series of ropes and hooks to Leehan’s harnessed back. He peers playfully over the railed edge of the platform, where at least 100 meters of air meet him. And although his expression remains passive, he nervously says, “Wow, this actually is really high. I just might die today.”

Still leaning over the edge in a way that causes you anxiety, he continues after a wry laugh that makes it difficult to tell if he’s joking or not. “I’m too young to die. I haven’t accomplished all of my goals. I haven’t even graduated college. I haven’t been in love.”

Whether he’s being serious or not, you still can’t help the “Don’t say that,” that leaves your mouth automatically at his words. And whether it’s because he’s pleased to hear you expressing concern on his behalf or simply another one of his strange moments of variablity, he meets your gaze and goes from deadpan to smiling.

“If I do die, I’d die happy knowing your pretty face is the last thing I see,” he remarks passionately, and the corny-ness of the sentiment makes you roll your eyes disbelievingly. Leehan’s grin never wavers. “I’m gonna convince you to jump too, you know.”

You should probably be more resistant to the idea, and yet there’s a part of you that feels more assured seeing Leehan do it all so fearlessly. “Now that I’m up here…” you hear yourself say, taking a second look over the edge of the rail and finding yourself surprising calm at the image. “I just might.”

“Wait for me. I want to be there when you jump. I’m serious,” he says. When you meet his gaze, you almost laugh at loud at how sincerely serious he looks, how he goes from playful to passive to passionate so easily. 

The attendant finishes all of the safety precautions, giving Leehan the go-ahead to jump whenever he’s ready. But he remains where he’s standing, gaze never leaving yours as he once more says, “Tell me you’ll wait for me. If I’m gonna die right now, I need to hear you say it.”

It would be so easy to dismiss his passion as insincere, something to not take seriously, and yet you don’t. You acknowledge then that there’s no one quite like Leehan, no one who has managed to make you feel the things that he’s done in such a short amount of time.

“I’ll wait for you.”

Leehan smiles, and it really does seem like he needed to hear that, because he’s immediately bracing himself to stand on the very edge of the jumping platform, no rail to hold him back, just his own will. “Thank you, Y/N. We good to go?” he asks to the attendant, and when he’s given the thumbs up, he takes one last look over his shoulder to meet your gaze. “See you on the flipside, Y/N.”

It’s with those parting words that he leans headfirst into the abyss, bundles of rope cascading after him as he takes the plunge into the open air. 

He doesn’t let out a scream or a squeak, just jumps effortlessly, as if he isn’t scared of anything. 

His fearlessness is something that you’re simultaneously intimidated by and in awe of.

The attendant turns to you and asks if you’d like to go next. You’re replying yes, and in the next second you’re being strapped up in a harness. Leehan, who you were sure would be getting heralded into a boat and brought back to land by now, yells something that makes a lot of non-fear related butterflies flutter in your stomach. 

“Wait for me, Y/N!!!”

Whatever it is that’s drawing you to Leehan so magnetically has you bungee jumping with him not just once, but five times. And with the permission of the attendant, you even jump a few times together at once, legs wrapped around his waist in a tight embrace and head buried in his neck to keep yourself from screaming in his ear. 

Once the adrenaline high has run it’s course and you’re back on the road, Sungho and Riwoo in tow, you find yourself worn out to the max. You fall asleep against the car window, lulled to sleep by the faint sounds of tire against pavement. 

You don’t know what time it is when you’re woken up by the sound of lowly-spoken voices, only that it’s dark outside. Someone must have put a blanket over you, because you can only see through the little piece of light not obscured by the soft fabric over half your face. Thinking you might still be able to fall back asleep, you remain still, only to hear something from Riwoo that catches your attention. 

“Hey, what happened to that girl you were with? What was her name? Matty?”

You hear a soft chuckle that you immediately attribute to Leehan, an assumption that’s confirmed by the next words you hear out of his recognizably low, deep voice. “Nah, I think you’re talking about Natty.

“Me and her were never together. We were just hanging out for a couple of weeks.”

“Just hanging out, huh?” repeats Riwoo, disbelief and disapproval all mixed together in his softly-spoken voice. “You’ll never settle down, will you, Leehan?”

Wondering why Sungho hasn’t chimed in, you open one eye just slightly to confirm that he’s snoring softly in the seat next to yours. And in the moment where your eyes are slightly squinted open, you swear you see Leehan’s head jut over his shoulder, almost if he was trying to confirm if you were still sleeping or not. 

You must’ve closed your eyes at just the right time, because his next words are, “Why when I can fuck anyone I want?”

In the same sense of poorly fitting clothes, words of these sort just don’t sound right coming out of Leehan’s mouth, but you remain silent and still under the guise of being asleep. You’re not sure how to feel in reaction to what you’ve overheard — on one hand, the camaraderie you’ve developed with Leehan so far doesn’t negate the fact that the two of you have no sort of formal relationship. You don’t even think you could call him a friend, not with the little time you’ve spent together. 

And yet, you still feel a hot mix of disappointment swirling inside of you just the same at the news of him not being the person you thought he was. But even just making that internal acknowledgment makes you feel stupid and childish – when did he ever promise or do anything to imply something of substance? 

“Are we here?” asks Riwoo, breaking you out of thoughts that grow more complicated with each second you have to stew on them.

“Yeah, wake everyone up,” says Leehan, and then, you have to pretend like you weren’t alert listening to their conversation as Riwoo softly shakes you awake.

Jaehyun and his group, who made it to the hotel first, are already waiting outside as you, Leehan, Sungho and Riwoo pile out of the car. After the eclipse is over, you’ll stay here overnight and drive back to campus the next morning.

Jaehyun was in charge of booking the rooms and thus goes inside by himself to handle the check-in process. The rest of you wait outside, where the nighttime chill has you wishing you would’ve brought a jacket. You wrap your arms around your body in an effort to warm yourself.

You’re caught off guard for a moment when a wool cardigan is placed onto your shoulders from behind. Turning around to find Leehan behind you, you let out a sigh. “You scared me,” you grumble.

“Boo,” he halfheartedly exclaims before wrapping the jacket around your body tightly. It leaves him in just a t-shirt. “Here. You look cold.”

You know you should take the gesture for what it is – a simple, kind thing to do for someone you see shivering in the cold – but after what you heard earlier you find yourself searching his dark eyes, wishing you could read him now more than ever. 

“Thank you,” you reply softly, hearing your voice come out lower than intended and hoping he doesn’t notice as he walks away aimlessly.

It’s at that moment that Jaehyun comes out from the hotel lobby, holding a packet of keys in his hands and announcing, “Hey. They accidentally gave us an extra suite, and since they’re not busy, we get to keep it.”

There’s a chorus of cheers and commentary among the nine of you that’s interrupted by you asking, “How are we deciding room assignments?” 

“Rock, paper, scissors is what we usually do,” answers Sungho sensibly from beside you, and with that, everyone gathers in a circle for the game. Not invested in where you’ll sleep, you play rock each round, and somehow end up winning against Riwoo for the solo room.

“It’s a shame,” you remark, staring down at your winning fist a little regretfully. “Just as I was beginning to get to know you guys, and I get heralded off into the room by myself”

“It’s okay, Y/N. Thanks to Leehan, we probably already know your entire life story,” says Riwoo kindly in consolation.

“True,” you concede. Your gaze flits over to Leehan, looking to see if he had any reaction, and you find him staring blank-faced into the sky. You notice how he often has these dreamy moments where he seems to be in his own world, unchallenged by what’s going on around him. It’s hard to relate to someone so strange, and yet the fact that he marches to the beat of his own drum is one of the things you find most attractive about him. Maybe that’s why you’re having such a hard time reconciling with what you heard in the car, unable to imagine a person like him doing the things he spoke of.

“Well, the eclipse doesn’t start until midnight,” announces Jaehyun, looking down at his watch. “So I guess we can chill in our rooms and meet back outside when it’s time.”

Jaehyun gives everyone their room key, and from there you head inside and find your suite on the first floor. The first thing you do when inside is take a nice long, hot shower. After a full day spent sitting and sleeping in the confines of a car, the hot water is just what you need to feel energized again. You change into something comfortable and are drying your hair when suddenly, you hear a knock at your door.

“Who is it?” you shout as you make your way to the peephole, thinking you’ll see housekeeping with an extra towel or a neighbor complaining about you using up all the hot water. Instead, you’re faced with the distorted image of a dawdling Leehan as he leans against your door.

“Who do you think it is?” you hear him say in his deep, sinewy voice, and through the peephole you can just make out the smirk on his face – he hasn’t even done anything yet, and yet you already feel butterflies erupting in your stomach as you’re opening the door to face him.

Leaning against your doorframe in the t-shirt and sweatpants you’ve seen him in all day today, you watch Leehan look almost guilty, like he’s doing something he isn’t supposed to by coming to your room like this.

“Are you playing Mr. Anonymous again tonight?” 

Leehan, as if considering the question you intended to be sarcastic seriously, furrows his eyebrows in concentration. “I don’t think so. Are you gonna let me in?”

You take a few seconds to consider the request, although mostly for show. Truthfully, it’s a little embarrassing how your body is already buzzing in reaction to his presence, how you become girlish and flattered inside at the idea of him seeking out your company like this. 

Opening the door to let him inside, you watch as he immediately goes to sit on the edge of your bed. You close the door shut behind you and go to stand over him, though several feet away. “Why are you here?” you ask softly. Not at all opposed to his company, you’d stil like to hear what brought him here.

“Why do you think I’m here?” he questions back with a sheepish grin.

You roll your eyes at what is clearly him playing coy. Why make the move in coming over here if he wasn’t going to be direct? To waste your time by not being clear with what he wants? “You ask a lot of questions in response to other questions,” you point out with a frown.

“Sorry. It’s the philosophy major in me,” he explains in clusmy apology, leaning back aginst his palms and letting his eyes roam you. “You look pretty with your hair wet.”

Done trying to force explanations out of him, you simply remain silent and watch him watch you, and for someone whose usually so hard to read, you love how easy it is to tell when he’s checking you out. Now that you think of it, since you’ve known him, it’s been moments like these – when he’s on top of you or eating you out from the back – when you’ve truly felt like you understood and related to Leehan.

You take a few steps forward so that you’re standing just in front of him, and the way his gaze never leaves your body the entire time causes your insides to jump. “Why are you looking at me like that?” you ask, when it clearly seems like he won’t be the one to break this silent tension.

“Because I want to fuck you,” he replies assertivley, being as direct as it gets, and his unfiltered candor causes the both of you to giggle at once. He follows up by asking shyly, “Too honest?”

“You’re crazy,” is all you say in responsw, moving forward even more so that you’re directly slotted between his legs. He raises a hand up to rub against the back of your thigh, and the fact that his hand is big enough to reach across the entire width of your leg makes you shiver. 

“If you’re not in the mood, tell me, and I’ll leave,” he says, avoiding your gaze when he does. Perhaps he’s assuming that your lack of immediate action means you’re not interested when really, you just find it fun to not make it easy for him. He must be so cocky to think that just by expressing his desire to fuck you you would immediatly fold. Humbling him, even in the smallest ways, lets you feel like you’re in control of this dynamic when honestly – both of you know that by the end of this interaction, no matter how long you drag it out, he’ll have gotten what he wanted.

“So if I say no to you, it means I’m not in the mood, and not just that I’m not into Leehan?”

Leehan throws his head back in laughter at this. Loving the sound, you let out a giggle as well. “I think you’re a lot of things, Y/N, but you don’t give liar. I'm at least 80% sure that you’re into me,” he declares.

And that’s what’s so funny about Leehan – he can go from annoyingly confident to unsure within seconds. “Oh yeah? And what’s the other 20%?” you question in amusement.

Leehan shrugs, bringing his broad shoulders to your eager attention. “A man can never be too confident, can he?” he quips, poking the inside of his cheek with his tongue. 

It’s at that moment that you decide you’re tired of making him wait – taking pleasure in the way his pupils grow wide in attention, you move to straddle his waist, using the shoulders you were just fawning over to support yourself. “Well, you’re bad at math Leehan – what’s your last name?”

“Kim.”

“You’re bad at math, Kim Leehan,” you mumble, leaning down to kiss his plush lips.

Whatever banter or power dynamics that were present before are forgotten the moment his lips are on yours. He’s just so good at kissing, always making your stomach flutter with the way he deepens the kiss by pulling you in by your hair and how he quickly progresses to tongue. Beforew you know it, you’re flipped onto your back, arching your back as his hands wander your body.

“I have to tell you, Y/N,” he opens his mouth to suddenly say, pulling away from your lips as he goes to rid you of your shorts. “I don’t usually do two time hookups. After the first time, I thought I’d never you see again.”

Your chest rises and falls with the weight of several shaky breaths, desire racing through you as Leehan just plays with the little bow on your underwear, looking up at you as he awaits your response. “And is that what you wanted?” you ask. “To never see me again?”

“Not particularly. Still, that’s usually how these things go,” answers Leehan in an almost unfeeling way, something you don’t dwell on as the yanking of your underwear down your legs brings your attention to more important matters. ”But then you show up here, all pretty and  badly-behaved, I couldn’t wait to get you alone.”

You’re not even given a chance to laugh at the words he uses to describe you before he lets a single, thick finger slip into your wetness, the stimulation of which has you already moaning, arching your back. He pushes it in and out of you in slow, teasing movements that are made lewd by the sound of your wetness gushing in and out with his finger. When he goes knuckle deep, curling the digit inside of you, you throw your head back, asking for more.

“I wanna make you come, Y/N. I wanna make you come so bad.”

“So do it,” you mumble in response, once again struck by the intensity of him giving you pleasure like this while keeping his eyes locked on your face. Despite your pleading and his own admitted eagerness to please you, he maintains a steadily slow pace as he continues to push his finger in and out of you.

“I have to let you know something first,” he says, and although you hear him take on a more serious tone, you don’t pay any mind to it, too focused on your building pleasure to analyze another one of his characteristic changes in disposition. “I’m not interested in being your boyfriend. Or anyone’s boyfriend for that matter.”

You slightly perk up at these words, wondering why it’s so important for him to tell you them  now after he’s already took your clothes off and began fingering you into bliss. You don’t say anything in reply, only moan, hoping he’ll add another finger as he continues his languid movements.

“And if that’s an issue for you,” he continues, his voice grave and deep. “If you can’t fuck me knowing that, then we should stop now.”

To perhaps emphasize how serious he’s being, Leehan takes his finger out from you in one sudden movement, leaving you empty and unsatisfied. It has it’s desired effect because you find yourself sitting up, finally taking real consideration of his words.

“But if you still want me,” he says, the two of you face to face in a way that lets you see the absence of amusement in his expression for the first time since he started talking. “Then dare I say that I’ll look foward to this becoming a regular thing between us. Should you want that, of course.”

He runs a hand through his hair, perhaps expressing a bit of nervousness as he awaits your response to this sudden proposition you’ve been given. Finding it hard to take any of his musings serious, you reach a hand up to cup his cheek. “I mean, you’re not wrong,” you assert with a tilt of your head. “Why settle down when you can fuck anyone you want?”

Immediately understanding what you’re referencing, Leehan smirks. “You heard that?”

“Yeah,” you confirm with a pitying half-smile, “and it almost made every bit of attraction I had for you dry up.”

Even as Leehan smiles shyly, looking down to avoid your gaze, you still don’t get the feeling that he’s at all regretful about what you heard him say. “I mean, was I wrong?” he raises, running his fingers along the skin of your bare leg. “Right now, you’re what I want, and I’m fucking you, aren’t I? Is that not what this is?”

Faced with the reality of Leehan’s advances for the first time, you have a hard time deciding how you feel about the proposition he’s posed. You feel pulled to Leehan in a way you haven’t felt for anyone, ever. And a part of you is disappointed and maybe even a little sad that he’s basically asking you to boil down a dynamic you were curious to watch grow to just detached, casual sex. 

Earlier, when you went bungee-jumping, it stuck with you when Leehan mentioned never having been in love before. Is this why? Because he prefers relationships that are devoid of any true emotional connection?

You could say no and remain friends. You’d be able to watch your relationship play out in a platonic manner. But that would be denying yourself of some of the best sex of your adult life, not to mention the pure herione that is feeling sexually desired and wanted by him.

Faced with such a dilemma, you defer to your instincts. And instinctually, you’re inclined to believe that maybe you and Leehan were meant to meet this way. Before now, you don’t think you would have ever went for someone like Leehan with romantic intentions. 

He’s too wayward, too free-spirited. 

And yet, your paths were brought together in an unlikely way, and perhaps you should lean into the feeling that caused you to follow him into a stranger’s bedroom just a few weeks ago – the promise of mindblowing sex.

“You’re an enigma, Kim Leehan,” you declare with sincerity. “I don’t want to be your girlfriend either. No offense.”

“None taken,” he replies with breezy indifference, bringing his hand to lay over the one you have on his face. “But don’t say that so easily. You don’t know me well enough yet.”

You roll your eyes at yet another show of cockiness from him. “And are you saying if I did, I would fall for you?”

Even as his expression remains passive, he replies forebodingly, “Isn’t that usually how these things end?”

You’re not sure what to make of that statement, so you decide not to respond. “Like I said, I don’t want to be your girlfriend. I do, however, want you to fuck the shit out of me. You’re capable of that, no?”

Leehan stares at you like he’s only now just capturing you and your essence, and his expression is that of someone in awe. It makes your heart and core flutter at the same time. “I really hope you mean it when you say you don’t want to be my girlfriend, Y/N,” he mumbles, and then, he’s leaning in to kiss you.

It’s as if there was never a lapse in intensity as you’re quickly brought back to the passion and vigor from before through the strength of Leehan’s kiss. Sliding his hands underneath your legs, he scoops your entire body up and positions you so that you’re laying down directly underneath him. It’s from there that he takes your shirt off, finding you braless underneath and wasting no time in attaching his mouth to your nipple. 

“You’re so fucking sexy,” he mumbles reverently, hands caressing the sides of your body as he switches from licking at your hardened nipple to talking. “You don’t understand how much I’ve been dreaming about this pussy since I had it.”

You want to tell him how flattering it is to hear that he’s been thinking about you in the time since you last had sex, and express your own desire, but you can’t when two of his fingers return to their previous lodgings in your still sopping wet cunt. He no longer holds back like he did before when he wanted you to hear him speak. Making your pleasure his top priority, he bends his slender digits deep inside of you, thrusting them in and out while you cry out with each brush against your g-spot.

“Does that feel good?” he asks, and if you weren’t so immersed in your own approaching climax, you’d laugh at how genuinely invested he sounds in knowing whether or not he’s doing a good job. To you, it should be more than obvious how well he’s doing by the way you arch your back at every thrust, reaching up to peck his lips but failing to maintain a steady kiss because of your moans. But Leehan’s oddball tendecies and moments of sudden sincerity are too familiar at this point to throw you off – instead, you find it sexy to experience both physically and verbally his commitment to making you feel good.

“Gonna come,” you’re confessing through whimpers just a few moments later, being brought to babbles as Leehan uses his thumb to stimulate your clit. His eyebrows become furrowed as he zeroes in on the pace that has thus far brought you to climax, rather than speeding up. 

What once intimidated you was the way that Leehan thoroughly studies your expressions as you’re experiencing pleasure. His searing eye contact, his unreadablly passionate expression, the way it’s almost as if he’s looking through you rather than at you. And yet, when the intensity of your orgasm begins to travel throughhout your body, the sound of him saying, “Come on my hand,” ringing softly in your ears, it’s through looking in his eyes that things feel increasingly more passionate. 

To feel this sexually connected to someone who up until this point was just a one-night-stand confounds you, and yet leaning in to such connection has led to some of the best orgasms of your life.

“Turn around, pretty girl,” is what he tells you after you’ve come down from your orgasm, and in your eagenerness to get him inside of you, you follow the request without question. Still, remembering his insistence from before about wanting to maintain eye contact when he fucks, you find yourself teasingly asking while facing the bedsheets, “What happened to wanting eye contact?”

“Who said we couldn’t?” he raises playfully in reply, and before you can question what he means, you feel one of his large hands snaking around your body. He pushes at your stomach and hips, helping you into an elevated arch. From here, it’s much easier for you to turn your head around without craning your neck, something you realize as Leehan pulls gently at your hair and meets you for a sloppy kiss.

When he pulls away, you shiver, your body reacting in shock to the attractive gesture. He notices this with a grin and must interpret the reaction as nervousness. “Don’t worry. I don’t bite. Unless you like that?”

“Shut up,” you grumble, laughing as he sits up and releases his hold on your waist. It causes you to fall flat on the bed, where you relax in anticipation as you hear the sounds of him taking his clothes off behind you.

“The fact that you even remembered I said that makes me happy,” he remarks in reference to the eye contact comment, and the sudden sentimentality of that statement makes you feel non-sexual related butterflies towards the man behind you. But your focus is brought back to the sex as he positions himself behind you, gripping onto his shaft and rubbing it along the expanse of your slit. You moan, but then remember that you neglected to think of protection.

“Fuck, I forgot about condoms.”

“Don’t worry. I have some,” he says, and you watch over your shoulder as he goes to rummage through the pockets of his sweatpants, discarded and left on the edge of the bed. 

“Should I ask why you came on this trip prepared for condoms?”

“Because cum makes for the best fish bait,” he replies ironically in response, and you realize then how attracted you must be to Leehan to hear him say these sorts of things completely sincerly and not lose even an ounce of your desire for him. He’s not at all deterred by your lack of reaction to his musings, either. Lining his condom-clothed cock up with your entrance, he asks, “Are you ready, sweet girl?”

If the fact that your entire body was buzzing with arousal wasn’t enough for you to want him to fuck you, the use of that pet name takes you over the edge. “Yes, please.”

“Gonna go slow so you can feel every inch of me,” he informs you fliratiously, pushing inside of you and making true to every part of that promise as you feel every inch, ridge, and vein of his cock as it enters, making you mewl until he’s balls deep. “How’s that?” he asks in search of your approval.

“So, so good Leehan,” you reply, loving the way that you can look back into his eyes and see the same pleasure you’re experiencing etched into his expression, furrowed eyebrows and lip between his teeth as he begins to thrust into you.

He makes a throaty, husky mhmm noise in your ear, something you reciprocate in your own whiny way in reaction to the languid pace he’s set. A hand on the left of your body is used to hold himself up while the other rests on your lower stomach, helping to push you backward on his cock so that the impact of his each thrust is doubled by both of your efforts. The words “You’re perfect. Absolutely fucking perfect,” mumbled into your ear as he fucks you make your entire body stand on end, something about being fucked just right in combination with his poetic way of talking making you absolutely crazy. 

Still maintaining eye contact with you, you feel the warmth of his body leave your back as he sits up fully. You’re almost dismayed until you feel pressure against your asshole, hearing him say, “Do you like it when I play with you here, too?”

“Oh my god, Leehan,” you exclaim in reply, the pressure of his thumb against your ass in combination with his thrusts become too much in the best way. “Don’t stop.”

Leehan doesn’t stop, and in fact, as you hear him lewdly spit on the surface of his hand, his thumb penetrates the tight expanse of your asshole. You moan as the added stiumulation makes your climax feel like it’s coming at you at an even faster rate than before. And Leehan, clearly perceptive to this, says, “Not yet. Beg for it.”

In your desperation to come, you don’t question the next words out of your mouth; in fact, you relish in the way Leehan groans in response to them. “Want you to make me come, Leehan. Please. Wanna feel you come inside of me.”

Continuing the trend of breeding-related teasing, you find that a remark which should be nonsensical considering the condom you both feel him wearing, if anything makes you both more turned on. “Take it then, baby. Coax it out of me,” he tells you, and by the withering sound of his voice, you can tell he’s close to climaxing. In a moment of serendipitous alignment, you find that you too, are dangling over an edge where on the other side is another moment of Earth-shattering pleasure. 

It’s something as simple as a wiggle of his thumb inside of you, a thrust so firm that it almost causes your arch to collapse, that has you reaching the peak of your pleasure. And Leehan, whose pained expression you can see as you never once stop looking behind your shoulder, quickly follows you with a hoarse grunt. There is something just so amorous about reaching that peak together, something like pride and satisfaction and fondness washing over you at once until you’re both collapsing tiredly on the bed next to each other. 

You’re first to break the breathing-filled silence, turning on your side to look at Leehan and finding him more attractive than ever in his post-orgasm state. “I don’t think I’ll ever get over how good you are at that,” you tell him, feeling suddenly inclined to reach out and swipe at the stray pieces of hair on his forehead. You resist if only to maintain the boundary of familiarity that has only loosely been established between the two of you.

But to your surprise, Leehan reaches out to lace his hand into yours, defying any sort of expectation that you shouldn’t continue to remain physically close after sex. He raises both of your arms upward in a trumphant gesture that makes you laugh. “We. How good we are at that,” he remarks correctivley.

He lets your hand go and for a second you both just lay there in comfortable silence, until you realize the entire reason why you’re staying at a hotel six hours away from home. “Wait. What time is it? Did we miss the eclipse?”

Leehan leisurely reaches for his phone on the bedstand, taking a quick glance at the time before bringing the screen it to your view. It’s just a few minutes after 11:30. “Perfect timing, actually,” he says, and then, raising a questioning eyebrow, asks, “Shall we go out together?” 

It is of course, as a result of your utmost predilections, to say yes, so within a few moments you’re both dressed in your previously discarded clothes and headed outside the hotel. 

Even if it was a concern for you, you luckily don’t have to worry about the rest of the group making conclusions about the fact that you arrive together, because you go outside to find that they’re all too focused in finding a good spot to lay out on the grass to get the best view of the approaching eclipse. 

Jaehyun, flamboyant as ever, has Sungho help him onto the hood of his car so that he can get on top and watch it from there. Everyone else either scatters on the grass with blankets or leans against the car. You ultimately settle for watching it behind everyone else, standing in the spce just between the car and the grass.

The eclipse, just as expected, is a beautiful sight. But what excites you more is the moment when you feel someone’s hands snaking around your body and into the front pockets of your shorts. Leehan hugs you from behind, saying nothing as he rests his chin on the top of your head and relaxes into you. Standing in the back of the group, no one else notices the moment between the two of you, which makes it feel that much more special.

As you tilt your head up to confirm it’s him and observe the way he watches the eclipse dreamily, it fills you with thoughts about the budding relationship between you two. You can’t help but think back to the words you overheard him saying earlier in the car.

They were the sentiments of someone who seemingly had no regard for what it meant to share your body with someone for an extended period time, to bare yourself physically and emotionally for the pleasure of another person.

But in your time with Leehan, you’ve never been made to feel that way. Like lightning in a bottle, the chemistry and connection between the two of you is not something that could be manufactured. 

Far from feeling as if you’re too special for this to end, you simply are confident that, even if this grows to be nothing more than sex, the feeling of being wanted and desired by Leehan is too good for you to ever be made discontent.

As you pack up to leave the next day, Leehan lets Riwoo drive his car for a chance to relax instead of having to be alert for six hours. He sits in the backseat with you, and for one final moment of tenderness between the two of you, he spends the entire ride with his head rested against your shoulder, snoring softly as your closeness renders him sleepy and relaxed.

part 3 can be found HERE

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[hwaslayer]

love you in slow motion (psh) | six. (final)

♡ spotify playlist | series masterlist ♡

—summary: seonghwa will go through hell and back for you, as long as he can continue to see that smile on your face. because to him, that smile feels like a rainbow after the rain, thewarmth of the sun on a winter day. because to him, you’re more than just his bestfriend—you’re love. even though everyone seems to see that except you.

—pairing: park seonghwa x f!reader

—genre: (18+ - minors dni) bestfriends to lovers | fluff, angst, smut

—word count: 7.5k

—content/chapter warning: cussing/mature language, a slight hint of jealousy, unprotected sex, oral (f. receiving), making out, dry humping, breast/nipple play, couple of flashback scenes lol, nothing but good times with the friends and fam!! hopefully a sweet way to wrap this up 🥰

—a/n: we've reached the end! tysm for the love and support on this one <33 i'll be posting an update on upcoming fics soon so stay tuned!! you're gonna wanna see what's coming next 🤪

♡ 1.5 YEARS LATER ;

"Seonghwa—fuck—" Your back slightly arches as your hand grips Seonghwa's luscious black hair tighter, pleasure surging through you as he continues to lap at your clit. "Y-you're gonna be late—"

"What's a couple minutes?" He mutters in between, hands gripping your thighs and keeping you wide open for him. You work your hips against his mouth, edging yourself closer and closer to the edge until you finally feel your orgasm wash over you. Seonghwa keeps himself in between your thighs as you writhe and tremble under his grip, letting out soft moans and curses that you try to muffle by throwing a hand over your mouth. "Quiet, baby. That's it." You hear Seonghwa say from beneath the sheets.

"Oh my god." You whine a bit, chest rising up and down as you try to collect yourself. Seonghwa pokes his head out from under the covers with a shit-eating smirk, planting kisses all over your arms, neck, jaw.

Cheeks.

Lips.

"You're gonna be so fucking late."

"And?" He kisses you again.

"Director Shin is gonna kill you." You giggle into the kiss and he rolls his eyes.

"I'll take the heat for it, was all worth it anyway." He hops out of the bed to quickly wash up and change before grabbing his duffle bag.

"I can't believe you literally did that as you were about to walk out."

"Couldn't leave my baby high and dry." Seonghwa smiles. "Anyway, see you later at the game?" You nod.

"Punk." You tease and he laughs before waving you off.

"I love you too, brat." You giggle as you retreat under the sheets, snuggling in for a bit more sleep. You give yourself another two hours or so before you fully wake up and toss the sheets off, stepping into the bathroom for a piping hot shower. You rummage through some of your clothes in your half of the shared walk-in closet, throwing on a simple outfit for today's game: denim mom shorts, a white tee, black and white sambas. You toss on a simple black belt you were able to find before walking through a cloud of perfume and heading out of the door.

When you head downstairs, Yaya is already out of her room and organizing in the kitchen. She has breakfast made, which you're sure she had packed some away for Seonghwa to take on the go. Moving into your newly built 4-bedroom house, Seonghwa made sure to prioritize Yaya's needs first and foremost. The house was beautiful and modern, sleek accents to add a simple but powerful touch to all corners of the home. He suggested for Yaya to take the first floor bedroom near the kitchen, in which she'd also have her own restroom. Her knees hadn't been kind to her lately, and Seonghwa didn't want her climbing up and down too many stairs— nor did he want a house where he'd stick her in a downstairs in-law. As much as Yaya had taken care of the both of you and been there for you throughout your lives, he wanted to keep her close and he wanted to do the same. He never wanted her to feel isolated or like she was a chore, because she was more than that to the both of you. 

A loving guardian, family.

Seonghwa helped Yaya get settled first, helping her arrange and fix things around so she could get comfortable. The house was pretty much close to being done, besides the fact that you still had to go through a few more of your things and toss out unwanted items, plus buy a bit more decor for the guest bedroom. The smallest room was turned into an office and library space, with Seonghwa's prized possessions sitting in glass display cabinets [aka his completed lego sets and figurines]; showcasing it to whoever walked into the room. You had been picking up reading again, so Seonghwa made sure to give you a little couch in there for you to get comfortable on during the days you needed your alone time or just wanted to read in peace. He also managed to stash some smaller lego sets and other toys off to the side for when Charli comes and sleeps over. Anything to take care of his favorite ladies.

Everything just felt perfect, for lack of a better word. You didn't know how else to explain it. It was just perfect.

The idea of moving in together didn't take long to come after you and Seonghwa had become official— it came more so out of the frustration and annoyance of having to leave each other after certain nights. Packing up more things just to stay at each other's homes again. Repeating the cycle, getting more attached and hating the distance. When you had finally brought it up to Hwa, the decision came easy. It was the easiest thing you both have decided on, though the journey to finding the right house wasn't as easy. Yaya had come along to all the countless tours of homes, leaving the decision up to you two. But, Seonghwa was never satisfied. For awhile, none of them seemed to fit what he was looking for. You could have been settled on a few homes earlier on, but he didn't think they were a fit for you, for Yaya. He wanted something that felt natural, that felt like home, a safe-space, full of light; he was almost losing hope when he realized the houses you were seeing just didn't click with him. The realtor finally took you a ways out of town to an area where newly-built homes were rising and you could see the sparkle in Seonghwa's eyes when he walked through the model homes. He had asked his questions, made a few suggestions, and before you knew it, you were head deep into the home buying process.

It was long. Grueling. Seonghwa would have to tack on another 15 minutes to his drive to work, with you also having quite the journey to the restaurant. But in the end, it was all worth it. It will always be worth it. Now, you have Seonghwa and Yaya in one place. Work isn't too far. Friends aren't too far. Soyeon, Junseo and Charli come over often.

It was perfect.

"Make sure you eat something before you go." Yaya hands you a plate. "Soyeon and Charli are coming, right?" You nod.

"Mhm. Should be on their way soon." You gather some food onto your plate before settling down on the bar stool by the island. "Did Hwa eat?"

"Packed him some food and handed it to him as he was heading out. I told him he has to eat! Long day ahead with it being the first game of the season, right?"

"Mmyeah. He's probably not gonna come home until later tonight."

"Are you guys still going to do the party for your birthday tomorrow?"

"Yes." You laugh. "Sorry Yaya, it's gonna be a full house tomorrow night. Charli, Soyeon and Junseo are staying in the guest room, and I think the boys wanna stay over."

"The more, the merrier." She smiles with a wink. At this point, you hear Soyeon and Charli from the driveway, Charli barreling in as she runs straight to you and Yaya.

"God, I love this house." Soyeon looks around, still getting used to the new home. "Mm, smells good!"

"You guys should eat before going."

"We ate at home, Yaya. Thank you, though!" You finish up your food and wash your plate, drying your hands on the hand towel hanging near the edge of the sink. 

"Let me just grab my stuff upstairs." You run upstairs to grab your mini puff tote and sling the strap over your shoulders, snatching your keys off of the drawer before shutting the door close and heading out to your car. You help Soyeon strap in Charli's car seat before settling her in, slipping into the driver's seat once everything is all good to go. You and Soyeon talk about tomorrow's party, and how Junseo and Yoongi are slowly starting to prepare for all the catering. The restaurant is set to close for the weekend due to 'special events,' also giving Junseo, Jini and Yoongi a break from holding down the fort and all the prep they're doing for the party. Soyeon tells you she has a friend who offered to graciously make a cute backdrop with balloons, along with a few decorations to place around the backyard. She asks you what you bought Seonghwa for his birthday present, and you tell her that you got your hands on the watch he had been eyeing for months, and a few shirts you knew he'd like. As bestfriends, you and Seonghwa weren't big on giving each other presents outside of a tradition you started in high school. If there was something either of you really wanted around your birthdays, you would get those gifts to make each other happy; other than that though, it wasn't a big deal.

But now, as your boyfriend, you always wanted to spoil Seonghwa. In so many ways. Even if it didn't sound like much, you knew he'd be happy cause they were things he liked. All you wanted was for Seonghwa to be happy, especially with the way he constantly takes good care of you and your family.

Pulling into the lot of the school, you easily slip into a parking spot near the stadium's entrance. There are waves of people walking inside, all sporting the universities' merch in one way or another. The three of you breeze through security and flash your tickets, heading towards a section behind Seonghwa and Wooyoung's team— finding seats that aren't too high up, but not too close either. Once you and Charli are settled, Soyeon runs down to grab a few snacks for you guys to munch on during the game; hauling up nachos and a pretzel with a large drink to share. For a minute, you and Soyeon are back to discussing the party when she asks about your outfit for tomorrow's festivities and if Seonghwa has gotten the rest of the stuff together.

"Yeah, he has. He took care of literally everything else. I didn't have to move a damn inch." Soyeon laughs.

"Hwa's the best." She pauses before suddenly asking: "Why don't you two just get married already? Elope or whatever." The question catches you off guard because you're not sure where this is coming from. Although, you had been thinking about marriage and everything around it lately. It's not that you weren't ready— you truthfully do want to be with Seonghwa for the rest of your life, and you don't see it any other way. You just weren't sure if he was ready or if he was even thinking of it that way. You felt like it might be too early for him, which could be true. You were willing to wait for the right time, whenever that was. All you know is that Seonghwa is your person, and there's nothing else that comes close.

"Wow. That's surprising coming from you."

"I mean, is it?" You give her a look. "I'm kidding." She makes an animated face and pokes her tongue out at you. "Not really, though. I just like seeing you two happy together. You guys just complete each other. Ever since you were young."

"It'll happen when it'll happen." You say softly. "I'd definitely want a big, grand wedding. I wanna go through the motions of everything." Soyeon nibbles on her bottom lip to prevent a smile from forming.

"With him?" You softly smile.

"Yeah. If that's where it leads us."

"If." She laughs. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure that man has been set on you for a long time or else he wouldn't have moved into a house with you and Yaya." 

"Gonna let it play out how it should, you know? Let it happen naturally and when the time is right." You look out onto the field as the teams start huddling up and getting ready for the first game of the season. You catch Seonghwa talking to Makayla on the sidelines, and although you aren't exactly insecure about the whole thing, it does make you a tiny bit jealous that he's giving her attention the way he is. He's smiling from ear to ear, laughing at the conversation and being super friendly— you wouldn't really put it past him, it's how Seonghwa is. It's how he's always been. But having him in your life as your boyfriend, as your man, as yours, you're experiencing new feelings you haven't exactly worked through before.

"Conversation must be funny as hell." You meant to say this to yourself, but you obviously fail and Soyeon catches on while Charli is bouncing up and down on her legs.

"Aw, you're jealous. How cute." She pinches your cheeks and you gently smack her hand away [respectfully]. "Are you still weirded out by it?"

"Uh, no. I don't think so? I don't care if they're friends, I just—"

"Want all the attention on you." You pout a bit. "Yeah, you two are definitely getting married. I better be the first to know when you're pregnant."

"Can we not!" At this point, the game is finally starting, with Charli calling out to her Uncle Hwa as if he's playing in the game. You watch as he says his goodbyes to Makayla, stepping off to the side with Wooyung as they watch the game from the sidelines and keep an eye out for any injuries that occur on the field. It's not the first time you've seen your man in action, but every time always feels like the first because you find yourself completely in awe with Seonghwa. Now, you can add the bonus of feeling head over heels and completely smitten over your man. You knew how hard Hwa studied and how hard he worked to get to where he was at today. It continues to pay off for him, and you love seeing him happy doing what he does. It's clear him and Wooyoung are incredibly valued on the team, and nothing makes you happier to see that.

They deserved it.

Throughout the game, Seonghwa and Wooyoung are having to rush to the sides of a few players when they get hurt. Of the few, two players had to be escorted to the locker rooms and sat out for the rest of the game. That's when Seonghwa disappears for awhile to tend to the players resting in the locker room. You assume he's making sure they're okay every step of the way, already getting started on rehabilitating to get them back into tip-top shape.

While Seonghwa is gone, you continue to watch the game with Soyeon and Charli. You look around the crowd, your eyes falling onto Makayla just as she does the same and meets your eye contact. She doesn't do much besides give you a tiny, pursed smile, and although Seonghwa says she's friendly— her look makes you feel like she has some lingering feelings for Seonghwa, or feels a bit defeated after everything that's happened.

You're pulled out of your thoughts when the crowd goes wild, with Charli yelling along. You realize that the game is over, and that the university won their first game against one of their biggest rivals— giving them a good boost for the start of the season. You, Soyeon and Charli head down near the rails, high-fiving a few of the team as they make their way back into the locker room. 

"Baby girls!" Wooyoung yells as crouches and holds his arms open for Charli. She runs into them, allowing Woo to swing her around and make her loudly giggle.

"Goodjob out there, Woo." Soyeon pats his head.

"I looked good out there, huh?" Soyeon rolls her eyes and laughs.

"Where's Hwa?"

"Locker room. I'm sure he'll come out in a bit—" 

"Boo!" Seonghwa says, startling Charli in Wooyoung's arms. She screams, but instantly giggles when she realizes it's her favorite Uncle Hwa. "Talking about me, I see."

"Trust me, we weren't. You're not that big of a deal." Seonghwa rolls his eyes before making his way over to you.

"Hi." He throws an arm over your shoulder and pulls you close.

"Hey."

"You should head home soon with Soyeon and Chacha."

"I know, we will. What time are you gonna get back?"

"Probably not for another couple of hours or so. Gotta debrief and clean up, put in some recovery time with the team."

"Hm." You hum with a small frown. 

"I'll be home soon enough, baby. Let me know if you or Yaya need me to pick anything up before I go home, okay?"

"I will." You step back and cross your arms before titling your head back up at him. "Saw you talking to Makayla earlier."

"Oh?" He smirks. "Are you jealous?"

"No." You glare at him, causing him to gently cup you by the jaw and bite his bottom lip.

"You're hella cute." 

"Fuck off, Seonghwa. You're not funny." You pout, and he laughs.

"I'm not? What can I do to make it up to you then, hm?" He smirks, making you gently shove him away by the chest.

"Anyway. You two ready to go?" Soyeon nods.

"Gotta make it in time to have dinner with daddy. Huh, Chacha?" She squeezes her tiny hand. "Go say bye to your uncles. Tell them you'll see them tomorrow." And so Charli does just that, hugging her uncles goodbye and telling them she'll see them tomorrow at the party. 

When you finally split ways from Seonghwa and Wooyoung, the three of you rush back into the car and safely hurry on home so Soyeon and Charli can make it back in time for dinner with Junseo. Yaya is already cooking some dinner by the time you settle back into your pajamas, letting her know that Seonghwa probably isn't gonna be home for awhile. You settle on the couch with her once she finishes cooking, eating up a good, heart bowl of curry while watching one of her current drama obsessions. 

It's not until close to 8pm when you hear the garage open. Seonghwa takes a minute to park, get himself together and head into the house. As soon as he does, you instantly run into his arms and wrap your arms around his neck, hugging him tightly and kissing him on the lips.

"You took so long." You pout.

"Sorry, baby." He brushes your hair away from your face. "I had a lot to do. But, I'm here now, yeah? Got your ice cream that you asked for." He holds up the grocery bag. You squeal and thank him before letting go to indulge in the rocky road ice cream you had been craving, while he greets Yaya and helps her in the kitchen. Seonghwa was done with work about an hour and a half ago, but he needed to stop by the store to get a few last minute things for tonight's and tomorrow's festivities.

He takes a shower and gets comfortable before plopping on the couch next to you and gobbling up the bowl Yaya prepared for him. You cuddle up to him while Yaya sits on the other end of the couch, retreating into her room closer to 10:30pm. You and Seonghwa clean up your remaining bowls before getting ready for the evening and settling in bed.

"Fuck." Seonghwa lets out a hefty sigh, curling up to him again while he flips through the movie selections. "So tired."

"I bet."

"Trying to stay up though, you know why?" He smiles and taps the tip of your nose.  "It's someone's birthday soon."

"Someone, hm?" You giggle and he kisses your forehead

"Someone special, yeah."

"It's your birthday soon, too."

"Mm, but it's yours first, love. Always you first." He says lovingly, holding you close to him as you rest on his chest and wrap your arm around his waist. He puts on an apocalyptic, zombie movie— you can't recall the name because you feel the exhaustion hit you out of nowhere. The movie begins and Seonghwa adjusts his position while you continue to cling onto him. It doesn't take long before you feel your eyes getting heavy even though you tried your hardest to stay up and keep up with your usual tradition with Seonghwa.

But, you were tired.

It feels like you were asleep for awhile, maybe a good couple of hours, when in reality it was only an hour. You feel Seonghwa gently dip out of bed, but you're too tired to think much of it. You continue to sleep until you feel Seonghwa waking you up, softly speaking to you as your eyes flutter open again.

"Baby." He gently shakes you awake as he sits on the edge of the bed. He smiles brightly when you sit up and rub at your eyes, running your hand through your hair as you finally feel more alert. "Happy birthday, beautiful." You look at the plate in hand and realize it's a huge Cinnabon with a Kuromi figurine near the candle. Sitting on the nightstand is a bouquet of those pretty lavender-colored roses you were eyeing at the farmer's market the other weekend. You giggle before turning towards the nightstand on your bed, grabbing the small container with a cupcake in the drawer.

"Happy soon-to-be-birthday, Hwa." You say cutely as you pop open the lid and show him the cupcake with Isabelle's face [from Animal Crossing] in fondant sitting on top. His eyes crinkle in adoration while watching you take the candle on top, and use the already-lit candle on your cinnabon to light the wick. You both laugh together while taking in your cakes for this year's birthdays, your traditions never getting old.

♡ FLASHBACK | HIGH SCHOOL

"Okay. One— two—"

"Three!" You both exclaim as you turn around and show each other your cakes for the year. You laugh when you see a stack of pancakes with a single candle on top, while Seonghwa follows suit seeing your cupcake with a lego wall built around it. 

"No way you actually built a lego fence around the cupcake."

"Bruh. Of course. I had to. Look at your fucking pile of legos lately!" You point to the corner of his room.

"Aw, you actually took the time to build it, though."

"Actually, I went to the lego store, picked these specific legos out, bought it then built it." Seonghwa pinches your cheeks.

"You're the best."

"I try." You laugh. "The pancakes?!"

"Not just any pancakes! I went through hell and back to find a fucking box of mochi pancakes for you. I know you've been dying to have them. I had to drive to the opposite end of town just to find these!" Seonghwa laughs. "I hope you feel special because that drive gave me anxiety." You smile, knowing Seonghwa had just gotten his license last week. 

"Thank you, pichu. I love it." You edge your cupcake towards him. "Do you like yours?"

"Of course I do. It's really thoughtful. Thank you, Y/N."  He smiles softly. "Should we make a wish?"

"Yeah." You both shut your eyes and make your wishes, both not knowing what the other wished for in fear of it not coming true. When you pop your eyes back open, Seonghwa is patiently waiting with a tiny, toothless smile. The both of you blow your candles out at the same time before sitting down on the floor and tasting each other's 'cakes' despite it being a bit past midnight.

♡ END

"No way." Seonghwa continues to laugh.

"You and your Animal Crossing obsession lately." You tap his nose.

"You and your Cinnabon cravings lately." You giggle.

"That shit is good. I missed it. I can't believe I haven't had it in so long." You cup his cheek and caress the surface with your thumb. "Thank you, Hwa."

"No, thank you." He stares a bit before licking his lips. "Let's make a wish?" You nod. The both of you shut your eyes, Seonghwa being the first to pop his eyes open again. He looks at you with so much love, so much adoration, so much appreciation; he truly doesn't know what his life would be like without you. When you finally open your eyes, you both blow out your candles, the smoke filling the dark room as you two sit and enjoy each other's presence.

"I love you." You look at him with a certain look in your eye that gives Seonghwa a hard time keeping himself composed. He gently sets the plate and the cupcake down on the other side of the night stand, roses now hanging over the edge before he cups your cheeks and presses a sweet kiss to your lips.

"I love you, too." He whispers, thumb caressing at the surface of your right cheek. "Happy birthday again, sweet girl. Are you happy?"

"I am. Are you?"

"Couldn't be happier." You smile just as he dips forward to lock you into another kiss, this time more heated, more intense. "So, tell me." He says in between kisses, pulling you onto his lap by the hips when he lays back against the headboard. "Were you jealous earlier?" 

"No." You lie. "Not at all."

"Not at all, hm?" He hums, his large, smooth hands roaming up your [his] shirt, thumbs brushing over your perked buds. You let out a small gasp, head tilting back as you slowly work yourself against the bulge forming in his shorts. "Then what was the attitude about?" He bites onto his bottom lip, one hand now resting on your hip to continue guiding you along his hard dick. 

"Just want you to myself, Hwa." You whine, frustration aimed at the material blocking you from feeling him completely. Raw.

"You have me all to yourself, Y/N." He gently nips at your jaw before drawing his tongue down the column of your throat and kissing you in all the right places. He sucks on the surface, just enough for you to feel it but not leave any marks due to the important festivities happening in a few hours. You feel the pleasure bubbling at the heart of your core; your need, want, for Seonghwa building and constantly intensifying. 

"Need you." You let out against his lips before locking them into a deep kiss. He's quick to help you out of your panties, quick to shove his shorts and his boxers down enough for you to work your ways on him. You instantly line him up at your entrance, wasting no time to slide down his length. The pace is slow at first, until you adjust. Seonghwa tilts his head back in pleasure before lifting your shirt up and taking a nipple into his mouth. He groans against your flesh, hand now gripping harder on your hips to push you to ride him faster. "Oh— Seonghwa—" You softly choke out, feeling him take the other nipple into his mouth; working his tongue in circular motions before pulling back with a pop.

"Fuck—" He hisses and lets out a deep moan. "Just like that, baby." He praises you as you pick up your pace just like he had been hinting. "You always know how to ride this dick so well." He leaves wet kisses along the base of your neck. Right below your earlobe. Your throat. 

You release a moan in between your soft whimpers while you continue to roll your hips against him and tug on his long hair. He praises and praises, your mouth is slacked open against his as you swirl your hips.

My pretty baby.

So perfect.

Made for me.

"Gonna cum." You manage to whisper as you fuck him at a sloppier pace, adding a slight bounce to continue pushing yourself over the edge. Just as your coil is about to snap, you dig your head into the crook of his neck when your orgasm washes over you— legs suddenly feeling weak and like jello as you muffle your moans against Seonghwa. 

"That's it, love— shit. Gonna make me—" He groans at the feeling of your walls squeezing all around him. You feel him hold you up and snap into you before letting himself go and coating your walls white. "God damn." He pants, adding a little whine when he starts to feel sensitive post-nut. You slowly shift in your position to look at him, giving him repeated, tender kisses on the lips while he keeps himself inside of you. "Let's go get cleaned up." He says with a dazed smile, tapping you on your side. The both of you head to the bathroom to clean up before heading back to bed and enjoying your cakes in the middle of the night, just like you used to.

The next day comes, and it's immediately a whirlwind from the moment you wake up. When you turn over to try and cuddle up to Seonghwa, you find that his side of the bed is completely empty and cold. You hear his voice echoing in the kitchen downstairs though, so it puts you at ease— until you hear the rest of the boys rush into the house way earlier than expected. You shuffle into the bathroom to take a shower, throwing on your two piece set consisting of a maxi skirt and a matching spaghetti-strapped crop top. You blow dry your hair and quickly curl it into some loose waves before focusing on adding light makeup.

"Baby." You hear Seonghwa knock on the door before poking his head into the room. "You're decent, right?"

"Uh huh!" You yell before you hear multiple voices enter the room and echo into your master bathroom.

"This fucking bathroom!" Wooyoung steps in and smiles when he sees you fixing your brows. "And it comes with a pretty girl!"

"Hands off the pretty girl, she's mine." Seonghwa calls out. You giggle and hug Wooyoung before setting your makeup down and saying hello to the rest of the boys outside in the room. 

"Sorry, I didn't fix the bed yet." You start fixing the sheets while Hongjoong and San stand at the foot of the bed with Seonghwa. Not much has changed with your friends besides the fact that San has started seeing someone fairly recently. It's a new, blossoming relationship, and you have yet to meet her. He's still shy about it, but you can tell he's genuinely happy and that's all you've ever wanted for him, your friends. Though, Hongjoong and Wooyoung [especially Wooyoung] were still into the casual dating scene. They didn't seem to have any complaints about how things were going, so as long as they were okay [and not being completely dicks], you were okay.

"This is a nice ass house." Hongjoong looks around the room. "Can you buy me one, too?" 

"I'm pretty sure you can definitely afford one for yourself." Seonghwa gives him a look before he shifts his attention to his phone ringing in his pocket. He quickly excuses himself to the side, while you continue to chat with the other boys and fix around the room. "I'm gonna head downstairs, the decorator is here." Seonghwa pops his head in.

"Oh, is Soyeon here? I can come!"

"It's okay, finish getting ready. I'll take care of it. She's on her way still." You nod, retreating to the restroom while the other boys continue to look around your room, the guest room and the office. Seonghwa races downstairs and opens the side door to the backyard for the decorator. Soyeon is here, but alone, and already helping her friend carry some props into the yard.

"Hey! Is Y/N still getting ready?" Soyeon hugs Hwa and he nods.

"Yeah, the boys kinda rushed in and interrupted."

"Well, perfect timing, I guess, hm?" She smirks. "Ready for today?"

"I think?" She laughs and rubs her hand up and down his arm to ease his nerves.

"It'll all go well. Promise. Don't even worry about it."

"Thanks." He looks at the van pulled up to the side. "Let me help." He introduces himself to her friend and their partner as he does a light jog to the van and starts helping unload. Seonghwa and Soyeon had actually planned the decorations out together, with Seonghwa requesting a few extra details to help the day go as planned.

♡ FLASHBACK | A FEW WEEKS AGO

"Seonghwa!" Junseo smiles. "My brother, what's up!" Seonghwa gives him a good dap as he walks into the restaurant and sits at the bar. "I'm assuming you're here for Soyeon since Y/N isn't here." He nods.

"Yeah. Well, I wanted to talk to the both of you. Is she busy?"

"No, let me grab her from the back."

"Thanks." Seonghwa throws a small wave to Yoongi and Jini as they pass, his knee bouncing up and down while waiting for Soyeon to come. She appears from the back within the next 5 minutes, tying her apron from behind.

"Hwa! What's up? How can I help?" She smiles and plops next to him on the free seat.

"I need some advice."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong. At all." He sighs. "I just need to know if I'm doing this right, so please be honest." Junseo tilts his head and cocks a brow up. "Is there ever such a thing as too early?"

"Under what circumstances?" Soyeon already knows where this is going, but she needs Seonghwa to confirm before she jumps the gun.

"You know." His big eyes shoot from Junseo to Soyeon.

"Marriage?" He quietly nods. "Oh my god, Seonghwa! Never! Are you thinking about asking Y/N?!" She excitedly asks. "Stop you're gonna make me cry!" Seonghwa nervously chuckles.

"Y-yeah, I want to, but if it's too early then maybe I should—"

"Hey. No such thing!" She calms him down and puts her hands on his shoulders. "Especially for you two? Definitely no such thing."

"I just—" He shrugs. "My life is her. I can't see my life without her. I haven't been able to and I don't want to. She's it for me."

"Seonghwa." Junseo smiles. "When you know, you know." Soyeon nods in agreement.

"So, have you been thinking about it for awhile?"

"Yeah. I wanna ask her. I don't think I'm good at planning these kinds of things, though. I want it to be perfect for her."

"Of course. Trust me, no one ever feels ready even though you know for sure this is what you want. It's a big moment." Soyeon leans her head on his shoulder as she pulls him in for a quick hug. "We'll help. When did you wanna do it?"

"Our birthday and house-warming party." Junseo nods.

"I know a friend who can help with decorations and stuff. We can plan that out with her and get the things you need."

"Really?"

"Yeah, of course!" She smiles widely, tears threatening to spill down her cheeks. "Oh my god, I'm gonna cry! This is so cute, she's gonna love it either way!"

"She will. We definitely have a lot to celebrate." Junseo laughs.

"Alright, here." She pulls up her friend's business IG account. "This is what she does. What were you thinking?"

"Well, there's this certain picture I have in my head."

♡ END

When you get downstairs, you find Soyeon already helping her friend and Seonghwa place the decorations down onto the table outside where the food and the cake is meant to go. You're in awe of her creations, seeing the beautiful chrome silver, white, and cream balloons sitting alongside the backdrops. The larger board has a simple "Birthday Behavior!" message written in that cute calligraphy font. She also added a beautiful touch with a floral stand full of cream and neutral colored fake roses, peonies, babies breath and other plants around the balloons and backdrops. 

"It's so pretty!" You take a picture. "Thank you, seriously. I love it." You look at Soyeon and her friend.

"Glad you like it!" You take this time to chat a little bit with her friend and Seonghwa while they finish the last touches and begin to head out.

"Mama!" Charli runs in from the side door, followed by Junseo, Yoongi and Jini with some of the food in hand. Charli says her hellos to her uncles and starts playing around in the grassy area of the backyard, chasing after the bubbles from the bubble machine going on. Wooyoung and San are quick to join her in playing, while Hongjoong sets up the karaoke machine in the living room and gets some music going off to the side of the backyard.

It doesn't take too long for Seonghwa's family to start trailing in, and it certainly doesn't take long for the house to be packed and loud. You're having fun and enjoying every bit of it, though. Seonghwa's having fun, your family, your friends. It's the perfect moment. 

And Seonghwa couldn't agree more.

The weather, the music, the vibe of the party— it makes him feel good about his decision to do it on this day. It's like everything fell right onto his lap, the universe pushing him forward to complete the night as he had planned despite his nerves. He had been nervous for the past couple of days, and today, it felt like it was going overboard. He'd have to take quick moments of deep breaths, knowing what the rest of the night held for him.

He's not sure why he's so nervous. He knows you're in this with him. He guesses he just wants everything to go well, to be perfect.

Like you.

"You ready? We're gonna do the cake." Soyeon gives him a look and he simply nods.

"Yeah." She gives him a reassuring smile, telling the other boys to grab the blindfolds and to get ready for the 'cake.' Seonghwa runs upstairs to get himself together, grabbing the tiny box from the office room. He hid it well behind one of his figurines knowing you wouldn't touch or rearrange any of them without him knowing. He chuckles a bit at the silly thought, but it makes his heart melt knowing how much you go along with his silly antics and love him all the same way.

You are perfect.

You have always been.

He jogs back downstairs and sees you near the food tables, Soyeon already clutching the blindfold in her hand. The night sky is lit with a thousand stars, just like the ones that he sees in your eyes whenever he looks at you. 

"Okay everyone! Time to do the cake!" Soyeon smiles, and you clap happily. Seonghwa's heart soars because everyone here knows the plan except you, yet you're cutely excited for said cake. 

"Wait, why the blindfold?" You point at it as Soyeon positions herself behind you and starts fixing it over your eyes, with Junseo positioning himself behind Seonghwa with another blindfold. They had to make it somewhat believable until Soyeon had the blindfold tied properly around your eyes.

"Girl, cause the cake is a surprise, okay? I want you and Hwa to see it together once it's out and on the table."

"Ou, yay!" You squeal. Junseo, San and Hongjoong quietly turn the large backdrop around once they get the green light— Soyeon's friend manipulating the larger board in a way where it could easily be flipped to flash the message on the back:

Marry me?

There is a cake, but it's still sitting in the fridge until after everything happens. There are now rose petals littered everywhere around you, and everyone is gathered around while holding out their phones and single candles.

"Is the cake okay? There's still a cake, right?" Wooyoung lets a loud laugh hearing you question the cake, making Hongjoong nudge him on the side while silently chuckling.

"It is. Sorry, we just had to fix it on the table and get it out of the box carefully." Soyeon throws a thumbs up and receives final confirmation from Seonghwa before starting to undo your blindfold. "Ready?"

"Mhm!" You try to reach out for Hwa's hand but he's nowhere to be found next to you. "Where's Hwa—" Once the blindfold is off, you can't even finish your statement because standing in front of you is Seonghwa in all his beauty. Your bestfriend for over 17 years, your homie, your lover— everything wrapped into one.

He's standing in front of you with the softest smile on his face, hands behind his back.

"Seonghwa?" You furrow your brows in complete confusion, not having a clue as to what's going on. "What're you doing?" You watch as he grabs your hand and kisses the surface, caressing it softly with his thumb.

"Bear with me, okay? I'm really nervous." You continue to look at him in silence. "T-To be honest, I didn't really prepare much of a speech because I've been thinking about this over and over again, and I wasn't even sure what the right words would be. I could say everything and it probably still wouldn't be enough." He chuckles, making everyone 'aw' in unison. "But, after all these years, you've always stayed by my side throughout thick and thin. Bringing out the best in me despite all of our silly arguments and fights. Learning me. Being patient with me. Having fun with me. Doing life with you has been the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I can't see it being any other way." He shrugs a bit. "You're just my person. You're everything to me, and I wanna keep giving you the world until the very end. As long as you'll let me." You slowly nod. Suddenly, your hands come up to cover your mouth and you feel the tears already pooling in your eyes. Seonghwa drops to a knee and pulls out a small box from behind his back, flashing the huge diamond ring sitting in the slit. "Y/N, will you marry me?" You maintain eye contact even when you start bawling. You can't even find the words at the moment and it takes you a hot minute before you can regain your composure. You wish you could stop time and freeze in this very moment, wondering how you hadn't caught on to anything. You weren't even sure how the little things managed to slip by, but you couldn't ponder about it now.

The one thing you're very sure of is:

"Yes. Absolutely, yes." You nod just as Seonghwa slides the ring onto your finger and swoops you up into his arms— your families and friends now crying and clapping to celebrate.

"I love you so much." Seonghwa says in your ear before pressing his lips to your cheek, temple. Lips. "Can't wait to keep doing life with you, baby."

"Me too." You smile as you continue to cry, still trying to process the everything that just happened.

Years of having Seonghwa by your side, lead you both right to this moment, throughout all the trials and tribulations. Seonghwa was here, Seonghwa was always meant to be here— with you.

Loving each other in slow motion like you both always have.

♡ FLASHBACK | LATE COLLEGE

"Y/N!" You hear Seonghwa rush into the house and burst into your room. The door hits the wall so harshly it startles you even though you were expecting him to come in at any second. "Are you okay?" Concern is written all over his face when he drops down to your bedside and lays a hand on your forehead.

"Get your grubby hand off of me." You try shaking it off and all he can do is click his teeth in response.

"Stop." He sighs. "You're burning up. What was your temp earlier?"

"It was fine—"

"No." He says. "Please sit up. I brought some soup." As much as you were okay with being alone, you do appreciate Seonghwa coming by and you do like having him around especially while sick. He fixes the pillows behind you and sets a thick book onto your lap for the small soup bowl to rest on. He pops off the lid and sets it aside, handing you a spoon. "Eat. I'll get you some water." You slowly take a spoonful to your lips and blow, taking the contents into your mouth when you feel like it isn't gonna burn your entire soul. You watch as Seonghwa grabs some of his clothes from your closet before leaving the room— only coming back after he's fully changed into his sweats and shirt, a cup of water in his hand. 

"Here." He sets the water down on your nightstand.

"Pichu, wait." You look at your phone. "Don't you have a date soon?" He shrugs.

"I told her I couldn't go and that I was really sorry." 

"Y-you canceled on your date because of me?"

"You're sick. No one is home with you right now."

"So? I would've been okay, Hwa." He shakes his head and takes your extra pillow, plopping it onto the floor so he can lay down and relax.

"I'm not leaving you alone."

"Why would you do that?"

"It's not a big deal. I promise." He looks at you from the floor. You eat a bit more in silence before you set the soup aside again, sipping on your water. 

"Thank you."

"Of course, Y/N."

"Pichu?"

"Mhm?" He continues to scroll through his phone. 

"I know I'm all gross and sick, but can you come up here?" You pat the free side of your bed. Seonghwa looks at the small pout forming on your lips, and he has to swallow the lump in his throat. Honestly, he really did cancel on his date today because he was worried about you. Yaya, Soyeon and her family had all left to celebrate a close family friend's birthday. You had planned to go, but you definitely didn't plan to wake up feeling nauseous and dizzy from a fever. Yaya had called Seonghwa to let him know that you'd be at home because you were sick and that they'd be home later tonight. She didn't even have to ask for Seonghwa to come because as soon as she had mentioned your sickness, he was already getting in his car to head over to you.

Date down the drain, but he didn't care one bit. He feels bad for canceling on his date somewhat last minute, but he wanted to be with you. He wanted to make sure you were okay.

When the question slips from your lips, Seonghwa doesn't argue. In fact, he doesn't say anything at all. But, he tosses the pillow back onto the side of your bed and sits back against the headboard.

"Come here." He says, opening his arms. You lay on his chest and he throws an arm over you, his finger tracing random patterns on your arm. "Get some more sleep."

"What're you gonna do?"

"Just be here." He shuts his eyes as he rests his head back. "Not going anywhere." And that was the first time you thought maybe, he'd be the one you'd marry. Maybe, he was the one you wanted to marry.

That sounded nice. 

The idea of marrying your bestfriend and being safe, feeling comfort. Not having to change a thing.

Maybe, Seonghwa was your end goal.

♡ END

♡ taglist: @hwasbabygirl @fairyofhueningkai @chngbnwf @tinyteezer @everyonewooeverywhere @pearbunny @mxnsxngie @starhwahwa @woosmaid @yeosangsbbg @jycas @lyracarvahall @huachengsbestie01 @laurenwidjaja @taz-97 @asjkdk @woojirang @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs

[actual-changeling]

@sassasafreeaction i saw your tags on this post and just had the sudden, violent need to talk about them

As someone with a bad case of CPTSD that comes with insane hypervigilance, Crowley's behaviour is not only incredibly familiar but also makes a lot of sense.

He is used to having to watch his back, not just in hell (where it's a matter of life and death/torture) but also on earth, while Aziraphale has a general sense of unease and the urge to be careful only when he thinks he is doing something potentially incriminating. So slipping into the role of protector was easy for Crowley, in his mind Aziraphale needs him to do it because he won't/isn't doing it.

Scenes like the ending of the Edinburgh flashback show us that Crowley is not being paranoid, it is based on actual traumatic experiences.

I imagine it is also the only way he can feel some relief when they're in public. Having the wall in your back, the person you care about in front of you, and the door and windows in your line of sight is calming and soothes that little anxious scratching inside your ribs, but even then it never fully disappears.

He has all his little quirks, like the twirls he does while walking, constantly craning his neck, even the sunglasses, which yes, they hide his eyes, but they also hide his gaze; people cannot see what he is looking at. I doubt he is aware of it, I certainly wasn't until someone pointed out that no matter where I am, I periodically check the entire room, physically moving my body and head to do a 360°, for example. Even when I pay attention to my behaviour, it's instinct, I do it because that's just what my brain thinks it needs to do to be safe (and it was truly needed at some point).

Hopefully, once they actually are safe, Crowley will be able to properly relax (and probably be super exhausted for months if not years), but some habits and a part of the hypervigilance will never go away.

[deadbeat-motel]

ᕼᑌᔕK ᗩᑎᗪ ᑎIᖴᖴTY ᖇEᗪEᔕIGᑎ

Deadbeat father with his baby-leashed daughter.

I believe these are the last of the designs that will try to follow the original design as best as it can because looking at my sketches right now, Alastor, Cherri Bomb, and Pentious (and Crymini) goes a different direction than their counterparts.

You know how this works, thoughts below:

My issues with their Original designs:

Niffty:

Man, I only have two things to critique about this one since she's also a solid design:

What is the purpose of the scarf? It comes out of nowhere for the design, what is the connection/purpose of having it? Genuinely asking since it does bother me a bit.

She barely is a bug, there is no feature in the design that gives us any idea that she might be a bug (Or even an alien since apparently Cyclops are just a normal sinner type in this hell). Looking at the Wiki, I think the only reason for the alien aspect is that it came from a song? Either way, she doesn't showcase any of either in her design.

Husk:

GOD THE WINGS. DEAR GOD THE WINGS. IT'S SO UGLY AND CLUTTERED AND THE PATTERNS BARELY MAKE ANY SENSE. It's so awful ewwww. Every scene that didn't have them closed looked extremely rushed and ugly. It could've benefitted from just copying how actual feathered wing patterns naturally are.

His eyebrows are not a problem for me (It's my favourite part of him) but the unnecessary two black stripes are.

He's probably supposed to be a tuxedo cat, but he legitamately looks like the cat in the hat with his entire face being white.

The thought process for these two:

Niffty:

Personally was not into the whole Cyclops thing, especially when there are no hellborns (that I can recall at least) in Helluva Boss that posess a singular eye. She's got 2 eyes now because.... reasons.

The mismatched eyes was my solution to removing the Cyclops sinners of this world. Plus it's a neat little character detail that her insecurity of some kind of eye defect manifests as this odd eye shape.

Her hair is a bit neater because as much as I enjoyed how her original hair looks, It's kind of silly to think a person who's obsessed with cleanliness would have such an unkempt haircut? (Specifically talking about that scene kid-esque bangs she has.)

While I kept the maid aspect with her clothes, I made it a lot more flowery so that it reads more like a child's outfit mimicing a maid's.

I gave her one fucked up antennae since in the rewrite ill be doing, she's very easily lost and thus became homeless, drifting to any place that would allow her to stay for a little while long until they kick her out.

Bug wings and the spurs on her arms and legs are just to sell the bug aspect a bit more.

Hopefully, it was clear enough. But her arms are made of two arms conjoined together to create a singular arm.

Admittedly, I did not choose a specific bug for Niffty. Insects are not something I'm interested in and I got lazy with this aspect.

Husk:

MADE HIM A LOT FATTER AHAHAHAHHA. Husk feels like he could've ended up as a bara if Vivzie's twinkif-y ray didn't hit him.

Specific fluff areas as well as a red mustache make him look older and do more to make you understand he's much more aged than the rest of the cast.

Genuinely enjoyed the hair that they gave Husk in his flashback, it looked handsome on him. Why Vivzie didn't put that in his actual redesign is beyond me, but here it is on him now

Since his wings barely play any role in the story, I shrunk it and de-cluttered the poor thing.

The red suspenders are there to simply put a pop of color on his already muted colors.

Despite the running joke that Vivzie's characters all have a bowtie, kept it on Husk since I think it would be cute that he probably keeps it on because Niffty made it herself for him.

This is just personal, but I wanted to give him an actual cat's pattern because I saw Husk from the headcanon voices video and thought that he was a sloth for some reason.

[tocomplainfriend]

WHERE ARE THE WOMEN!?

I came back to or HB and I got run over with the lack of Female character content. Specially in the queer area!

We got Millie, who gets the lowest attention. See doesn't have and actual episode about her as a person. Unhappy Campers it's not an actual episode about her- it's mainly Moxxie and her dealing with it. We don't get any flashbacks in comparison to Blitz, Moxxie, and Loona. Even when Chaz it's her ex, we only get the Moxxie's part of the story. We get an episode with full focus on Bllitz, Stolas and Moxxie perspective of things in an episode, but we never follow Millie alone her self.

What we got about Millie: Good at killing (Melee weapons), supportive, Country girl, anger? Moxxie's Wife

Unhappy campers tries to give her attention but not actually doing it. She gets everyone to love her and show she can do an endless amount of tricks. But the episode concentrates in Moxxie getting insecure again. The fact they barely want to write her shows in just giving her long fighting scenes instead.

What does she do? Like, does she have her group of friends outside of her job or no? How does that make her feel? Being in your mid 20's and not really having many friends, it's quite a thing to explore. Or does she have actual friends outside of Blitz, and her husband.

How does she feel about Blitz stalking them? Cause in the pilot she just laughs it off a lot! Why? She didn't say anything about Blitz coming to Ozzies to see them. Does she actually dislike Loona or the fact she is a hellhound? Does she feel like a normal Joe underlooked, cause maybe her family with multiple kids didn't give her top attention and recognition? Probably not because they didn't write that- I imagined that, just know. Apparently she just had a 'boring' good family and that's why we don't see anything of that.

I just fill in the spaces where the is nothing to say regarding Millie with Headcanons, basically...

Loona gets written kind of back and forward. She was so nice by the end of season 1- to then beat the shit off Blitz in season 2, episode 2. And She was given the reason of "blitz did something that hurt her" when she was in the wrong for being awful to the customers in the first place and try to guilt-trip her dad. In that same episode, we get Loona's backstory for getting adopted, but from Blitz Perspective. I loved how she was with Octavia. But she backtracks into being mean to everyone. Hopefully she gets to interact with her by the end of the season!

Verosika... Where is my girl? Haven't seen her! She gets to have genuine frustrations towards Blitz, I'm happy for that. I hope they don't write her into had being the bad one for blitz to look better.

Stella, she gets written as the worst to elevate Stolas as the least bad person to justify him and Stolitz. Her view of also getting forced to marry someone as a child is never given, she gets the least out of it to- she doesn't get any book or power- she sticks to her family. I think writing her as "stupid" and also the "I love tormenting you" is so shallow. Her power as an antagonist gets killed in order to put her brother as the main danger instead.

One thing in writting I don't think it's intentional is her treatment of Striker. It does call my attention that Stolas call Blitz an Imp, and imp based names- same with disregarding Millie and Moxxie- Meanwhile Stella treats her assistant like shit and says shit if "plebeian blabla" but when she gets in the Phone with Striker to cancel the killing. She is polite and calls him darling. Which is different!

I love that Octavia gets attention, but I know she is written to also elevate Stolas as a character. -And the writting fill force her into forgiving him. Also... her relationship with her Mom? Someone? Can we explore what she thinks of imps or hellhounds compared to her parents?

Sallie May? 2 Lines in 1 episode.

Barbie? Her story dealing with her mom dying got pushed in the BG due to her deleted content. uh... get drugs from being sexual as a +30 woman to a 19 yr human. Doesn't want to deal with Blitz cool! Fizz gets more backstory with Blitz than with her...

Glitz and Glam. They show up and act like assholes to Fizz (to make him seem more vunerable and dealing with a lot). For some reason, the concept of Mammon being abusive to Fizz only matter if it towards him. Because he just let Glitz and Glam take his place, even if they were being bitches to him- that doesn't make them have to endure Mammon's treatment too. They are also over villainized as if Blitz or wasn't an ass to everyone too.

Bee is there probably for one episode due to wall Kesha and shit. She is a contradiction on her self "gluttony - over indulgance" to then "Loona your dad is drinking to much and it worries me" ??? She is there to be a party girl and tell Loona what to do.

Overall she also only get Queer content out of the male characters. There is not a single WLW thing going on anywhere here. Meanwhile most the teasing of ships and jokes is MLM (blitzXmoxxie,blitzXstriker, blitzXstolas, blitzXchaz, blitzXfizz, moxxieXstriker, moxxieXchaz, fizzXasmodeous)

The only possible WLW joke is Bee and Loona. That's it!

For a show that gets to praised for representation of the trans woman character, It's less of a secondary character just yet. And no non-binary character anywhere.

(DO NOT SAY oh but in the BG, NO I'm TALKING ACTUAL CHARACTERS IN THE SHOW-not the bg succubus or the art team putting random stuff around!)

[pedrospatch]

Lonely Too Long l (To Hell and Back Drabble)

Series Masterlist

Summary: After escaping a group of brutal slavers, you are left with permanent physical and emotional scars. Unwilling to put your trust in another human being ever again, you spend a year fighting for survival alone in the post outbreak world. But when you choose to save the life of a man named Joel Miller, the wall that you’ve built to protect yourself slowly begins to crumble.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings/Tags: 18+ only, minors DNI. Flashback of implied SA, but no descriptions. Soft Joel, Joel sings to reader. *If you happen to be reading the series, I recommend reading this one because it starts setting up Joel and reader’s relationship. This is also the last flashback she’s going to have since it’s a heavier one than the last two.

Word Count: 1.9k

A/N: Dust to Dust is one of my favorite songs by The Civil Wars. I know the song did not come out until like 2013, but we’re just going to pretend. Also, I know that the gif is video game Joel, but god I love him just as much and it fits this scene so we are gonna roll with it. I know this might not be everyone’s cup of tea but I wanted to write it so I did. 🤌🏼 I am still organizing the taglist for this series, it will be start with the next chapter. This was mostly for me but hopefully some people out there enjoy it too. 🤍

You couldn’t scream.

You’re trying to cry out, but you can’t.

Chest tight, your lungs won’t expand.

You couldn’t breathe. 

One hand around your neck, the other is fumbling with the zipper of your jeans.

“Been thinking about this all day,” he grinned, his fingers roughly scraping against the skin of your lower stomach.

In the corner, your cellmate is curled into a little ball in the floor, hands covering her ears and her eyes squeezed shut.

She’s probably praying she won’t be next.

She’s seventeen so even in the midst of your own chaos, you can’t help but pray she isn’t next too.

You thrashed around underneath him. It’s futile, but all you can think about is getting him off you.

Grin fading, he let out a heavy, irritated sigh. His hand left the waistband of your jeans. He reached behind him and pulled out his gun, bringing it up to into your view—it caused you to cease any and all movements. “Listen to me,” he said, pressing the barrel of the pistol against your temple. “It’s simple, really. Keep squirming and I’ll blow your fucking brains out. Do you understand, dollface?”

When he received no response, he dug the barrel deeper into your skin, his finger on the trigger.

“Do you understand?” He repeated, his tone low.

Nearly paralyzed, all you could do was nod. 

“Good.” He roughly flipped you over.

The sound of his belt buckle clanking rang loudly in your ears. As he yanked your jeans down to the middle of your thighs, you closed your eyes.

Both your mind and your body went numb.

A light, late night rainstorm came out of nowhere, sweeping over the town. The soft, pitter pattering sound of raindrops on the window above your bed had almost lulled you into slumber.

Almost.

You’re safe.

You’re safe.

You’re safe.

The words blended into a steady but silent chant.

You’re safe.

You’re safe.

You’re fucking safe.

Slapping the palm of your hand to your forehead, you exhaled a long, heavy sigh and stared up into the the darkness of the bedroom.

You couldn’t be certain as to what time it was, but it had to be well into the middle of the night. You’d been tossing and turning for a couple of hours but somehow it felt like a hell of a lot longer than that.

You were fucking exhausted. You nearly ached for some sleep, but every damn time that you closed your eyes, vivid images of the past came creeping in and chased it further and further away.

Your brain just couldn’t seem to wrap itself around the fact that this place wasn’t dangerous.

That you didn’t have to sleep with one eye open.

That nobody was going to hurt you.

That you were safe in a soft bed in a real house.

You weren’t lying on a dirty cot in a human cage.

Sighing again, you thought about Joel who was in his bedroom down the hallway, sleeping.

It brought you comfort knowing he was close. But for some reason you couldn’t quite explain, part of you couldn’t help but feel he wasn’t close enough.

You. The same woman who vowed never to trust another human being ever again—you wanted him fucking closer. Actually, it wasn’t a want so much as it was a need.

You needed him to be closer.

Sitting up, you tossed the sheets back and swung your legs over the edge of the mattress, your bare feet meeting the cold, hardwood floors. You stood and quietly padded out of the bedroom and down the hallway towards Joel’s.

“You know where to find me if you need anythin’,” he’d assured you before he had gone off to bed.

You stopped in front of his door and lifted a curled first, knocking lightly. About a minute or two went by, and just when you started to realize that you’d made a mistake and whirled around to make a run for it back to your own room where you could hop back into bed and pretend that the thought of this hadn’t ever even crossed your mind, he opened up his bedroom door.

“Thought I heard a knock,” Joel mumbled sleepily, rubbing at his eyes with one of his hands. He wore nothing but his sweatpants, his hair looking about ten times more disheveled than usual. “Everythin’ alright?”

You swallowed dryly, trying your hardest not to let your eyes wander away from his face—it proved to be almost too difficult to keep from staring. Joel’s shoulders were broad, his chest was wide, and his stomach was soft; his sweatpants hung on the low side on his hips and revealed the trail of dark curls that started at his lower belly and descended until it disappeared underneath the elastic waistband.

You caught yourself before they could go lower.

“Somethin’ the matter, darlin’?” he asked, stifling a yawn. Thankfully he hasn’t seemed to notice you gawking at him. He rubbed at his eyes once again and then observed you, trying to figure out what it was that had brought you to his room at this hour. “You need somethin’? Are you cold? Did you need an extra blanket?”

You lightly shook your head in response. No.

He tried again. “Are you still hungry?” he asked as he gestured towards the stairs. “I can make you another sandwich if you want—”

He was cut off by another shake of your head that told him that wasn’t it.

“You just can’t sleep,” Joel realized after a minute. He frowned—he could see how tired you were and for as much as he didn’t want to think about it, he had a feeling that he knew what it was that was on your mind and keeping you awake. “What can I do to help, sweetness?”

You blinked, standing there almost dumbfounded.

Clearly, you hadn’t thought this through.

You would knock on Joel’s door and then what?

You would talk to him about what’s on your mind?

Letting out a tiny frustrated huff that was directed at yourself, you waved a dismissive hand in the air.

Forget it. There’s nothing you can do.

As you turned around to leave, Joel reached out to take your arm. He curled his fingers lightly around your elbow. “Well now, hold on a minute. You’re at my door for a reason,” he said. He watched as your eyes flickered to his hand around your arm, but he couldn’t be sure if his touch had bothered you. He dropped it, not wanting to risk pushing you too far or crossing a line, not when he had made progress with you, progress he didn’t want to lose. “You not bein’ able to sleep—it have anythin’ to do with you still not feelin’ safe?”

You hesitated.

“It’s alright, darlin’. You can be honest with me.”

The sheepish expression on your face said it all.

No, I can’t sleep because I don’t feel safe.

“Would it help if you slept with me?”

You raised your eyebrows at him, eyes widening at his proposal. At least, the way he’d said it.

Excuse me?

Realizing how it had sounded, Joel flushed. “What I mean is, would it help if you slept in my bed?” He winced. That hadn’t sounded all that much better. “You sleep in my bed and I’ll sleep on the floor,” he sputtered out quickly. “That’s what I meant. That way I’m right next to you and you ain’t alone.”

Gnawing nervously on your bottom lip, you took a minute to think it over.

If you wanted him closer, this was your chance.

But why? Why did you want him to be closer? Why did you need to have him at your side?

You’d been on your own for an entire fucking year.

And it had been by choice.

You didn’t want to be around other people, sure as hell didn’t need to be around other people.

And then Joel Miller makes his appearance and all of a sudden, you’re at his door in the middle of the damn night because you feel the need to have him at your side?

Finally, you nodded your head. Okay.

“Come in.” He stepped aside, allowing you in. Not wanting you to feel trapped in his room, he left the door open. “And you’re free to go on back to your own room whenever you feel like it.”

Joel picked up his discarded tee shirt from earlier, a small labored grunt escaping him as he brought himself back into an upright position, the bones in his lower back crackling with protest. Turning over his shirt right side out, he tugged it on as you took a look around his bedroom, a larger space dimly lit by the small lamp on his nightstand.

That’s when you saw it.

Perched on a stand, it was nestled in the corner.

A guitar.

Curiously, you walked over and knelt in front of it.

You reached out and softly ran your fingers across the strings, smiling to yourself at the sound it had made.

“Found that while out on patrol with Tommy a few weeks ago,” Joel stated as he came up behind you slowly. “Gibson. Little worse for wear, but in damn good condition all things considerin’. Woulda been a crime to leave it out there,” he chuckled. “I know Ellie’s been wantin’ to learn, it’s the main reason it came back home with me. I haven’t shown her yet since I still gotta clean and polish her up.” He took a brief pause. “You know how to play?”

You ran your fingers across the strings once more, and a loud, terrible noise that wasn’t even close to music caused him to wince. You then looked up at him over your shoulder with an amused grin.

Does it sound like I know how to play?

Joel couldn’t help but laugh. “I’ll take that as a no, then.” He leaned over and picked up the guitar. He walked over and took a seat on the side of his bed, patting the seat beside him. “C’mere, sweetness.”

Getting up to your feet, you wrapped Joel’s flannel closer around your body as you padded over to his bed, perching yourself next to him.

Head down and focused, he began to strum a few notes. You couldn’t help but to be mesmerized by how his large hands moved on the instrument, the way his long, thick fingers—

Swallowing dryly, you cut the thought short.

Curiously, you put a hand on his shoulder.

Joel paused the tune. “What is it, darlin’?”

With your opposite hand, you touched your throat and then pointed at him. Can you sing?

He gave a half hearted shrug. “I do like to sing,” he admitted almost bashfully. “Always been fond of it ever since I was a kid.” He chuckled. “Before goin’ into construction, I wanted to be a musician. But I knew it would never pay the bills.”

You squeezed Joel’s shoulder and gestured to the guitar, then to his throat again. Will you sing me a song?

Joel felt the back of his neck burn and he cleared his throat awkwardly. “Normally, I would probably say no,” he admitted. “But, seein’ as you saved my life and all, I’d be a real asshole if I said no to you.”

Lifting your chin, you shot him a smug look. That is very true. So go on then, Johnny Cash. Play me a song.

“Alright. Any requests?”

You nudged him lightly. Very funny.

“Okay, um. Gimme a minute to think of a song.”

Withdrawing your hand from his shoulder, you sat back against his pillows and pulled your legs up to your chest, hugging your knees.

Nervously, Joel inhaled and exhaled a deep breath and began strumming the guitar. Chills shot down your spinal cord as a hauntingly beautiful melody filled his bedroom. He turned and angled his body towards to you as he began to sing.

“You’ve held your head up,

you’ve fought the fight

you bear the scars, you’ve done your time

listen to me, you’ve been lonely too long…”

Your mouth fell open slightly.

“Let me in the walls you’ve built around

we can light a match and burn them down…”

The rich baritone of his voice caused goosebumps to eruprt all over your flesh. Furiously, you rubbed at your bare legs, but it was useless.

With every note Joel sang to you, more appeared.

With every note Joel sang to you, the harder you found it to breathe steady.

With every note Joel sang to you, the more beats your heart seemed to be skipping.

“Let me hold your hand

and dance ‘round and ‘round the flames

in front of us, dust to dust…”

Joel glanced up, his dark brown eyes holding your gaze as he sang the final verse of the song.

“You’re like a mirror, reflectin’ me

takes one to know one, so take it from me

you’ve been lonely

you’ve been lonely too long.”

Even if you could speak to him, you would’ve been left speechless—all that you could do was stare at him in complete awe.

Joel set the guitar down. “I’m alright,” he said with a sheepish little laugh. “My voice ain’t nowhere as nice as yours.”

You stiffened slightly.

What are you talking about?

“Don’t look at me like that. I know it was you who I heard singin’ back at that cabin when I was comin’ back around.” He gave you a crooked grin. “Earlier I was just playin’ dumb, but I know it was you. You have a gorgeous voice, and I’d love to hear it again someday.”

Hugging your legs closer to yourself, you dropped your head down onto your knees, embarrassed.

What was the matter with you?

Here was a man who had taken you in, offered you a warm bed under his own roof—gave you clothes and fed you, even offered to give up his own damn bed and sleep on the cold hard floor beside you to make you feel safe enough to sleep.

And you still couldn’t say a fucking word to him.

“Hey. Look at me.”

Forcing your head up, your gaze met his.

“It’s alright, darlin’,” Joel assured you. “It’s just like I told you downstairs. We’re gonna take it one step at a time.” Lifting one of his hands, he reached out holding it out to you, his palm face upwards. “And I swear, once you find your voice, I’m gonna do all that I can do to make sure you never lose it again.”

Biting your lower lip, you placed your hand in his.

Joel have it a gentle squeeze. “Atta girl.”

Much sooner than you would have liked, he let go of your hand and stood up.

“We should get some sleep. You’re gonna need all the rest you can get before you meet my kid. Ellie. She’ll be here first thing and I should warn you she can be, uh, she can be a lot to process.” He let out an amused snort and reached for a pillow, tossing it onto the floor. “You can have all the blankets, I’ll just take this throw here—”

As Joel reached past you for a green flannel throw blanket, you grabbed his arm to stop him. His face was just inches from yours.

Close.

But again somehow still not close enough.

“What is it, sweetheart?” he asked, softly.

Warm and laced with mint from the toothpaste he had used to brush his teeth before bed, his breath tickled the tip of of your nose, sending a pleasant shiver up your spine.

Your eyes looked right into his as you scooter over to the other side of his bed—it was firm, cold. Like no one had ever occupied that space before. But it was foolish to think that a man like Joel Miller had never had another woman share his bed before.

You patted the spot beside you.

Sleep up here.

“You sure about this, darlin’?”

You patted the empty spot again. Yes I’m sure.

Joel squinted at you. “You ain’t gonna strangle me in my sleep, are you now?”

His half serious joke was met with a glare.

Keep it up with wise cracks and I just might.

He held his hands up in defense. “Just checkin.”

As you crawled underneath his dark green sheets, Joel slid into bed beside you, making sure to leave a good three foot gap between the both of you; he murmured a quiet goodnight and switched off the lamp on his nightstand before rolling over onto his stomach—not even two minutes later and his soft snores filled the room.

You turned onto your side, facing him. Through a beam of moonlight steaming in through a crack in the curtains, you could just make out the outlines of his facial features. He’d fallen asleep facing you.

Closing your eyes, your body sank further into the mattress, heavy with exhaustion.

Taut, tense muscles finally relaxed.

Tight jaw finally unclenched.

You’re safe.

You slowly started drifting off to sleep.

With Joel beside you, no nightmares came to visit.

[lazycats-stuff]

could you do konner and clark kent x kid reader like just fluff and angst. like lex tried to make another clone but he’s still super young abd confused

Alright. Some more Superman content, yay. And I will go to the grave saying that Henry Cavill is drop dead gorgeous and a great Superman.

Summary: Lex made another clone. Superman and Superboy are going to kill him.

Warnings:

When the Justice League heard about the rumors of Lex creating more clones, they were concerned. Superman especially. He had experience with Conner and that was going to be a plus going into this mission, if they do find some clones.

Clark could only hope that they didn't find any. He only hoped that they wouldn't find anyone in there. Especially the clones. He only wished to destroy the facility and gather evidence against Lex Luther.

That's the only thing he wanted. Evidence and a destroyed facility. The only thing that he wanted was that. Conner agreed with Clark, his father figure. Their relationship was almost father son and he had a brotherly connection with Jon.

As they were flying to the facility, he thought about what they could find in the facility. Would they really find more clones? Or would they find the failure clones?

He closed his eyes for a moment. He would rather find live clones than the failures. Whose DNA were even going to use? His own? What if Lex had some of his DNA in storage? Superman sighed quietly, shaking his head.

He could only hope that Lex didn't have anymore of his DNA. He didn't need another Conner on his hands. He didn't need anymore shocks like Conner put him through when he first saw him.

He would remember all of it for as long as he lived.

He took a quiet deep breath as the airplane stopped and landed down on the ground. All of them stood up and walked to the facility. It was supposed to be abandoned so that made things a little bit easier.

Hopefully. Superman wasn't really interested in a fight today. He really wasn't. It was devoid of the normal human noises like heartbeats, breathing and talking.

Only the steady beeping of the machines. Conner is listening for anything out of the ordinary, walking next to Batman. Superman would glance at Conner ever so often to make sure he is okay. This facility was the same were Conner was... Created.

He was worried about him. What if he got some sort of flashback? Superman knew he couldn't know with 100% certainty, but if something is to happen, they would get him. Batman suggested to bring some Kryptonite in case of a flashback.

And he had some in his belt. Just in case he needed to be knocked out. But only as the last resort. Only then.

Superman and Batman glanced at one another, clearly thinking about the same thing. Just what if?

" Wait, I hear something. " Conner and Clark said at the same time. Batman tensed up as Superboy and Superman led the way into the facility. There was one pod that was working and there was a... Child.

A child.

Batman and Superman saw red. Lex is going to be taken down. One way or another. By any means necessary.

" That is just a kid. " Conner said quietly, sad look in his eyes. Also, Batman could see some similarity with Superman. Lex does have some more of Superman's DNA. Not good.

" We have to get the kid out. " Superman said, watching as Batman went to look at the computer in the room. He started typing, trying to get more intel and trying to get the poor kid out of the pod. It was wiped from any intel, but there were commands in regards to the pods.

" Get ready. " Batman warned Superman who waited with his arms prepared to get the kid out. Bruce opened the pod and Superman took the kid out, Superboy helping him out. Superman picked the child up, making sure that he leaned against his chest.

Even Batman seemed disturbed by this scene. A kid.

Lex has officially crossed a line.

" Lets take him back to the HQ. " Batman said, interrupting the heavy silence that has fallen in the room.

Superman agreed and started walking back to the plane. The sound of their footsteps was the only sound and the echo made it worse. (Y/N) was sleeping on Superman's chest, clearly unaware of what was going on. Not even conscious.

Poor thing.

Superman waited outside the room with Conner. They waited for the doctor to check out (Y/N), to check if he was healthy. Superman prepared to be told that the boy had only a few days to live, but he knew that something that extreme was unlikely.

The doctor stepped out quietly, walking up to the two heroes.

" Well, the young one is okay. We tested his blood for drugs and a lot of other things. Thankfully he is negative for all of it. He is still sleeping so that is a good thing. He should wake up soon, can't say when though. But overall, he is healthy. " The doctor concluded, smiling at the two heroes.

The two heroes nodded, at ease now. That was important.

" When can we see him? " Conner asked.

" You can go in right now if you want. Just don't overwhelm him. " Doctor warned, looking down at the tablet. They both entered the room, watching the child as he slept.

It was an odd sight to see. The kid finally looked like a kid. Superman also looked like he is a little to small, but the doctors would make sure that he got the necessary nutrition.

" He looks small. " Conner said quietly, afraid that he is going to wake the small child up.

" I know. He looked bigger in the pod. " Clark said, just as quietly. Conner nodded in agreement. They stopped talking as the child started stirring, slowly opening his eyes.

" Who are you? " The child asked, rubbing his eyes.

" I'm Superman and this is Superboy. " Clark introduced them both to the child, who looked at them with outmost confusion. He looked down at the blanket covering him.

" What is all of this? " The little one asked, eyebrows scrunched together as his eyes roamed the room.

That one single question broke their hearts. Superboy was reminded a lot of his earliest days out of the pod.

" You are in the hospital. This is a place where people make sure you are 100 percent healthy. " Superboy explained, sitting down at the foot of the bed.

The child nodded, eyebrows still scrunched up.

" What's your name? " Superman asked, making the little one give him a blank look.

" A name? "

" Yes. My name is Clark and his is Conner. " Superman said, trying not to get emotional right now. This poor little one.

" I don't think I have one. " (Y/N) said and something glazed over his eyes. Superman moved closer, sitting on the opposite side of Conner at the foot of the bed.

" How about you chose a name for yourself? How about (Y/N)? " Conner suggested, making the little on scrunch his eyebrows one more.

" I like it. " (Y/N) declared.

" It's settled then. (Y/N) is the name. " Superman said, smiling at now (Y/N).

Conner smiled too. He knew that (Y/N) would be coming with them both. There was no doubt about it.

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Back on my analysis nonsense but not quite awake enough to write a full essay right now so please enjoy this snippet of analysis about Inej, language, and the word “girl”. It’s all stuff I’ve talked about before but I haven’t given it’s own post before and I’ve been rereading some of my old stuff to get back in the mindset so I thought I’d bring this back up because I find it really interesting - I’m also really hoping to write the post about Fruszi that I’ve been planning on doing for basically since season 2 came out tomorrow or at least very soon so hopefully that won’t be too long

Inej Ghafa, Language, and the Word “Girl”

⚠️As always in my analyses, constant spoilers ahead!! 🖤

⚠️I’m going to talk about Inej’s trauma and her ptsd, and this post will also possibly include references to the other characters’ trauma and ptsd as well

Hi okay it’s been a while since we did this and I realise it’s probably the reason most of you follow me so sorry about that but let’s jump right in - I often say it’s after midnight and I’m thinking about Soc so let’s talk but today I actually have to say it’s almost midnight and I’m thinking about Six of Crows, so let’s talk: Inej’s internalised misunderstanding of the Kerch word for “girl”.

In the Bathroom Scene during Crooked Kingdom (which I have a full analysis posted of if anyone would like to read it; I can tag you or you can follow the link in my pinned post), we see Inej at the point she allows herself to be most vulnerable with another character. I think we forget this because we know much more about it than they do, but the other Crows know very little about what Inej went through at the Menagerie - Kaz himself in that very scene describes having “the barest inkling of what she’d endured there” - and previously when we’ve learnt anything about her experiences they have mostly been through flashbacks that Inej experienced during other events of the book. On the boat to Fjerda, in the surgeon’s cabin with Nina, Inej battles with flashbacks and insists Nina sing to her and teach her the chorus of the song to try and distract herself - Nina of course knows that something is going on, but only the reader is actually told what’s happening in Inej’s head - and when she has a flashback at Sweet Reef (the man who smelled of vanilla) she’s alone until Dunyasha arrives. This scene with Kaz is really the only time we see her express herself and, as openly as she can, attempt to speak about some extent of what she went through out loud. I’ve dissected a lot of what she says in this scene in the past and formed theories about it before, but I haven’t talked as much about this quote:

“Tante Heleen wasn’t always cruel”

After this introduction she goes on to explain the emotional abuse and manipulation that Heleen put her through, going so far as to specify that because endearment became something akin to danger she flinched the first time Nina hugged her, and she also mentions in the scene that sometimes when Jesper puts his arm around her she feels like she’s going to vanish. This particular description of Heleen has very strong parallels to descriptions of Van Eck’s abuse of Wylan, and though I don’t want to go into that in too much detail now bc I’ve talked about it before and how their parallels are what create a lot of the Wylan/Inej parallels I do think that it’s a relevant thing to mention as I bridge into the next quote I want to bring up; when Van Eck takes Inej captive and is claiming that he has treated her like this because this is what he know her to expect from her life experiences, she internally comments that he sounds like Heleen and we get a memory of this quote:

“Why do you make me do these things? You bring these punishments on yourself, girl”.

This obviously had very strong links to the way Van Eck abuses Wylan and teaches him to actively blame himself, which I’ve talked about in the last, but I also want to add that it’s so interesting when we see Heleen call Inej “girl” because she very rarely uses terms that don’t actively dehumanise her/any of the other children at the Menagerie. Of course the use of the epithet is still a big part of the way Inej was denied identity at the Menagerie, remember she audibly sobbed when Kaz said her real name out loud the night she left, but it doesn’t necessarily hold the same immediate, discomforting effect that other epithets Heleen uses, such as “little Lynx” (actively diminishing and dehumanising Inej whilst using an oxymoronic phrase to effectively imply that she is a tamed animal and even though she should be able to fight free she never will. As a side note linked to this, the word “little” is often used derogatorily towards Inej, most obviously by Heleen and Van Eck and most notably when she breaks his nose and he shouts “you little wretch! You little whore!” and she replies “go on Van Eck, tell me all the little things I am”). But I would actually argue that when Heleen uses the word “girl”, she intends it with all the same dehumanisation as she does “Lynx”.

Throughout Inej’s experiences in the duology, the word “girl” is used almost exclusively in two ways: 1) as an insult, 2) possessively. Whenever the children at the Menagerie are referred to as “girls” it is always in a possessive context, for example these quotes are the Ice Court Heist when Inej is wearing the Lynx silks:

“… in front of her girls”

“Your girl will be returned to you”

“Where is my girl?”

“That is not my girl”

And this is an ongoing theme throughout the books. However, the idea is most obviously presented in a quote by Inej herself, and this is where it quite truly breaks my heart:

“not really people, not even really girls.”

Okay I'm really tired and this post is already longer than I was planning so from this point forth everything in the quotation marks is directly taken from another post where I talked more briefly about this:

' As if “girls” and “people” are two separate entities. As if “girls” are not human. This is the language and the attitude that she was surrounded by at the Menagerie and is still surrounded by in the city, and what was forced upon her throughout her experiences in the country. But you know what else might be a genuinely horrifying little detail of this????? Inej may have actually taught herself that the words “people” and “girls” are not synonymous. Because when Inej was brought to Kerch she wasn’t fluent in the language, she spoke some of it and quickly learnt the rest through circumstance, so if this was the way she heard Kerch people use the word “girl” this is how she would internalise the definition of it. I hope this makes sense I’m not sure if I’m relating my thoughts very clearly, it’s kind of like how Matthias was forced to learn Kerch because he was in a Kerch prison so he doesn’t know words that would easily come to him in Fjerdan, like the snow goggles, but instead of simply having gaps Inej has actually learnt a false grammar system that defines “girl” as a dehumanising term because it means someone who is less than or someone who is property. '

I feel like I might have had something to add but if I did then I have forgotten it; if it return to me in the morning then I will return to add it but for now I am going to bid you all goodnight. Thank you for reading these mad ramblings and I hope they made some semblance of sense and/or were interesting <33

⚠️This is a theory and this is my personal literary interpretation; I am not saying that this is an intentional choice made by Leigh Bardugo, though it may be I have no idea, and I am not saying that you have to agree with me. Literary analysis is not about presenting one definitive answer, and if you have either differing interpretations or further points you’d like to add then please do as I would love to read them! <3

[whorergal]

SHE'S MINE (PART THREE)

summary: you and ethan form a plan but in order for it to work, you need to make it look believable…

warnings: scream vi spoilers, language (cussing), blood, gore. follows the plot loosely. happy ending, i promise.

pairings: ethan landry x fem!reader

authors note: here's the final part! i just wanted to say thank you for all the likes and reblogs!! it's honestly so sweet of everyone and it means a lot to me! i have a bunch of ideas for ethan so look out for more imagines and hopefully a masterlist for easier navigation (i'm still new to this lol) :-) i love u all so much

❗️: u can find part one here and part two here <3

——————————————————————————————

To say that you were surprised when finding out about Ethan and his relation to Richie Kirsch would be an understatement. He had been someone that you had hated and even vented to Ethan about when you two first met. It just seemed very ironic. Although Ethan did love his brother, he knew the things he did weren't right once he realized how much shit he put you through.

The late night calls because of your nightmares, the flashbacks you would get whenever someone touched you too roughly, having to avoid the scars on your body because it brought you back to Woodsboro; it opened his eyes.

You weren't entirely shocked to find out Quinn was the other Ghostface that attacked you. She always had some unsaid vendetta against you and you realized now it was just because of your history. What did shock you was to find out Detective Bailey was the mastermind behind it all—not only that, but he was also Ethan and Quinn's father.

He showed up the moment you and Ethan met your friends outside their apartment. Mindy had stolen you from Ethan, leaving him alone with Chad, who was asking him questions to confirm his whereabouts. Luckily, you made sure to practice what to say with him on the train ride there. It seemed your excuses sufficed because Chad nodded, apologizing for thinking the worst.

While on your trip to the run-down theater, Chad had taken Mindy, thanking you for lifting her mood (you three had always been close since you were kids). You walked in the back alongside Ethan, holding his hand to calm your nerves which ended up in you receiving a look from Bailey. You don't think he knew you noticed but ever since you found out about him, you had been unintentionally tense around him.

The memorabilia that had been collected scared the hell out of you. It increased your worries despite knowing everything would end up being okay.

Tara seemed to notice how your breathing began to increase and stepped closer to you. "Hey, you okay?"

You looked at her, faking a smile. "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just going to get some air."

The group all watched you leave. Chad was going to follow after you but Tara stopped him when they saw that Ethan had already been on your trail. She smirked at him.

"You owe me five bucks," Tara informed him.

"Shut up," Chad replied, shaking his head.

No one found you two suspicious. If anything, your sudden relationship seemed to throw them off your tracks.

Everyone left the theater, finding you two on the steps, you tiredly laying in his arms. Tara smiled at you two, gesturing for you to follow. When you got up, Mindy reclaimed you as her own again, pulling you away from Ethan as she needed your comfort. You talked with her the whole walk to fill her mind with distractions.

They all needed somewhere to recoup and to come up with a reliable plan. You offered your apartment, knowing theirs was most likely still a crime scene. Yours hadn't been messed up in the sense that there was no broken doors and bloody messes all over the floor. Mindy actually agreed, saying she wanted to sit in Anika's room alone for a little bit.

"Don't mind the mess," you joked once entering. Your books were scattered about the place. "And the…blood," you muttered when you saw some it trailing where you had dragged yourself across the kitchen.

None of them cared much, getting right into what to do next. You ended up leaving to your room because your stitches were hurting like hell and you didn't want to cause any alarm to them about it.

You sat there, alone for a few minutes until you heard a quiet knock on the door. Honestly, you were expecting Tara, or maybe Chad because he kept eyeing you frequently, but Ethan peeked his head inside and you sighed of relief. He gave you his awkward smile and entered slowly, shutting the door softly behind him.

"Hey, are you feeling okay?" he asked, walking over to take a seat on your bed beside you.

You nodded, holding back a wince at the movement he caused which made you flex your muscles. "Yeah, yeah, I'm okay. Nothing I'm not used to."

"Your stitches," he realized aloud, leaning closer. "Shit, I forgot. Do they hurt?"

"Sort of," you responded, gripping your stomach as if it would make the pain go away.

"Is there anything I can do?" He looked at you softly, as if his eye contact could harm you.

You forced a smile. "Distract me, please."

"Well, I, uh," he stuttered. "I came up with a plan."

"A plan?" You questioned, confused.

"Yeah. I talked to my dad while at the theater and I found out the last steps he and Quinn will be taking," Ethan informed you which wasn't exactly the distraction you wanted but nevertheless, it was useful. "He doesn't know about you, or about us so I have him convinced that the reason I saved you was because I wanted to kill you myself."

You widened your eyes. "Oh."

"Obviously, I'm not going to—"

"I know, E."

He nodded before continuing. "Quinn's going to get Gale next. Then she'll be heading for us. I'm not too sure what she wants to do but I know it'll involve someone in the group in order to keep them all from going to the theater. My guess will be Mindy. When that happens, she'll go for you next so you have to stick with me."

"Go for me next?" you repeated for more clarification.

"I told my dad that I wanted you there for act three. Quinn will knock you out, take you to the theater, dress you up in a robe and frame you as a Ghostface." He paused, scanning your expressions. It wasn't a bad idea, actually, other than the fact that you'll be framed as a psychotic murderer.

"Okay, so I just have to pretend that I don't know?" you questioned, wanting to make sure.

"Yes, exactly," he answered. "They're under the impression that I'm going to kill you so they'll tell Sam and Tara you're the Ghostface to throw them off and when the reveals happen, you'll be given to me."

You nod slowly, taking a second to let all the information sink in before worrying aloud. "What if they don't? What if Quinn ends up hurting me again?"

"I won't let anything happen to you," he declared, grabbing your face in his hands. "She knows better now."

Your eyes softened as you nod again for the last time. Then you fell forward into his arms, just wanting to be held. He did as told, being careful with your injury, and just played with your hair which made you smile.

"You know, when I said distraction, that wasn't really what I meant," you mumbled into his chest.

He furrowed his brows. "What did you—" then he stopped himself when he realized. "Oh."

You laughed until it turned into a wince. He pulled you apart from him to make sure you were okay. You nodded silently, diving right back into his arms again. It gave you comfort.

You and Ethan stayed close to each other the entire time you were with the group. He didn't want you to be without him, afraid losing you for one second would mean he would lose you forever. His hand was interlocked with yours or settled on top of your thigh—whatever physical touch he could get from you. You even ended up falling asleep on his shoulder inside the van with Kirby, Chad and Mindy.

Then when you guys detected the call was coming from Gale's apartment, kudos to Quinn, that was where you all headed to next. It was where you learned that Gale had actually survived her fatal attack which you wanted to snicker at because Quinn failed again but you held it back to not look weird.

Sam had created a plan with Kirby and Bailey to head to the theater in order to lure Ghostface and lock him in. Apparently that was Bailey's idea which made sense seeing as he was one of the Ghostface's. So you all headed to the train station in order to get a lift to the rundown area.

Someone had ended up shoving you away from the group, elbowing you right in the stomach. You had to pause, grunting in pain until you looked up and couldn't find anyone. You forced yourself to suck up the pain and roughly shove everyone out of your way which helped you catch sight of Ethan's worried expression, searching the crowd presumably for you.

He found you almost immediately, adjusting his backpack and running straight to you.

"I'm sorry," he apologized when he got to you.

"It wasn't your fault," you reassured him.

You two finally reached the train right when it began to ride away from you. You groaned, knowing everyone had caught it together but then you saw Mindy ahead, doing the same thing as you.

"Mindy!" you hollered, causing her to turn and let out a sigh of relief to find out she wasn't alone.

"Thank god," she muttered. But then she saw Ethan and pulled you away from him protectively. "Get your Ghostface ass away from us, Ghostface."

Ethan gave her an offended look, watching as she created a safe distance from him. He kept looking at you two, making sure you were okay but Mindy would gesture for him to stop with arm movements. It caused him to roll his eyes.

When you entered the next train, you tried to convince Mindy to stick close to him in order to eliminate one of you from being attacked. She didn't listen but knew better than to force you to stay with her so she told you to "go to your boyfriend". You scoffed playfully at her childish behavior, finding her stubbornness amusing.

You had to squeeze through people to reach where he stood in the middle. When he saw you, his expression softened as he went forward to help you. Thankfully, there was a seat open right by where he stood so you sat there, mindlessly staring around as the train shook you.

The lights kept flickering and it gave you immense amount of anxiety. Ethan's eyes seemed to be fixed on Mindy, as if making sure she was okay as well. It must have meant Quinn was nearby seeing as she was targeting Mindy next.

Once the train finally came to a stop, Ethan turned to you and helped you up since your wounds were hurting more than usual. You instantly looked for Mindy but couldn't find her, sending you into a panic. You let go of Ethan, pushing people out of the way until you saw her lumped figure against the back of the train, a large stab wound in her gut.

Ethan and you both let out a jumble of curses while helping her up, leading her out of the train while calling for help.

You three were escorted to the nearest hospital where she went under immediate surgery and you even got yourself checked. Your stitches had reopened—which explained why they hurt so much—so they sewed them back together and even wrapped it up which made it feel a lot more secure.

The doctor released you, letting you return to where Mindy's room was. When you reached her floor, it was strangely quiet. Ethan had left you earlier, saying he needed to find Quinn, which you didn't pay much mind to as you assumed it was so he didn't look suspicious.

You scrolled through your phone, having not received any texts from Tara or the rest of the group that wasn't with you which made you nervous. They were probably busy setting up the theater but you couldn't help but assume the worst. In the midst of your distraction, you found yourself stepping into an unknown liquid which caused you to look from your phone to the floor.

It was blood.

Your mind immediately went to Mindy, but before you were able to worry about her, you were smacked across the head which sent you falling to the hard floor. Your vision started to become black when you swore you heard Ethan's voice.

"Ssh. It's okay, I got you."

- -

You awoke by the sound of excessive footsteps happening all around you. The bright lighting in the room caused your head to throb, making you squint your eyes until you felt well enough to open them all the way. You immediately recognized the room and knew you were inside the theater. You had no idea where Ethan was or what the hell was going on but you were positive that answer would come soon.

Slowly, you started to get up from your position, propping yourself up on your elbows. You looked around but your eyes couldn't help focusing on the black robe covering your entire body. Even though Ethan had informed you about this beforehand, you still felt yourself starting to panic.

What if he changed his mind? What if this was the plan all along; make you think he was on your side just to easily lure you into this trap. No, no, Ethan wouldn't do that.

"Look who's awake," the familiar voice that belonged to Detective Bailey spoke.

You searched around the room until his figure came into view, wearing an evil smirk. "What the hell is going on?"

"You don't get it, do you?" Actually you did. "You know the plan. You know why we're here; to stop Ghostface. It was pretty easy to convince Sam that Kirby was mentally unfit and had taken the mantle in her own hands for the best friend she lost…but she couldn't do it alone. That's where you come in."

"What are you talking about?" Your voice was groggy. Your mind was still fuzzy from the hit you received so his voice didn't really sound as close as it was to you. "Are you saying that Kirby's Ghostface?"

"Well, to Sam and Tara she'll be," he told you. Then he crouched to reach your level. "And you'll be to."

"What?"

"Kirby needed someone to do the dirty work for her while she couldn't." He shrugged, his voice becoming more and more angered as he continued talking. "Don't worry, you won't be the only one. My own accomplices will take the fall with you until the time is right. But we have to fuck with Sam somehow. We have to make her feel betrayal to throw us off her radar for the best reveal. Make her feel what she's made us feel for the past year."

"You're Ghostface?" you questioned. Your fogged up mind was really helping you play the part of confused.

He nodded. "And so are you."

You looked at him in disgust. "What the fuck?"

"It has to be this way, Y/N," he tutted in sarcastic sadness. It pissed you off. "You were the easiest pawn in this game. Your betrayal will weaken them the most. It's the perfect fucking idea!"

"Fuck you!" you yelled, kicking him straight in the face.

You were able to throw him back. Your uneasy state didn't help you much in your favor because as you lifted yourself up, your knees gave out. The mix of pain coming from your wounds plus your throbbing head made you nauseous that you didn't even completely register the feeling of Bailey gripping you by the hair until the cold touch of his gun was placed against your temple.

Unable to move in general, you froze.

"Unless you want your brains splattered across this wall, I'd suggest you follow my orders," he threatened. You winced at the rough shake he gave your head in order to emphasize his words. You immediately surrendered to which he noticed and nodded at. "Good."

He let go of your hair forcefully, it caused you to fall forward, catching yourself. You heard shuffling coming from behind you but when you turned to look, his back was the only thing you could make out. "What are you doing?"

"You need this to complete your costume," he responded, walking back over to you. He was enthusiastically holding a mask in the air. "This is Mickey Altieri's mask. I thought he would fit you well, you know, once I paint you to be this psycho who wanted to kill your friends for fun."

You glared at him. "They'll never believe you."

"Oh, I think they just might." He nodded, forcing the mask over your face which you tried to fight against. Then, there were gunshots heard which made you flinch and Bailey chuckle. "It's showtime."

He forced you on your feet by your robe, holding you tightly in his grip as he dragged you out of the room. You had no strength so he was basically holding your entire weight as you struggled to find balance. With your lack of stability, there wasn't much you could do and also because you felt his gun poking your back as if to keep you in your place.

"Get away from the girls!" Bailey announced his presence, pulling you along with him like a rag doll. "It's over, Kirby! I got you and your partner!"

"What the hell are you talking about?!" Kirby questioned in utter disbelief and you didn't blame her.

"Cut the bullshit!" Bailey hollered. "I saw this one helping you out to stage your attack!"

"What?!" Kirby's voice rose an octave.

"Who is this, Kirby? Huh?" he asked, referring to you as he shook you in his grip.

"I have no idea, okay?! It's not me!"

"Well, I'll just have to see for myself—" he was muttering to himself, using the hand that held his gun to rip the mask off your face. "Oh my god…"

"Y/N?" Sam looked at you in betrayal.

"What the fuck," Tara whispered, backing away from you.

"Stop! It's not me!" you yelled, squirming but he readjusted his grip. "It's not Kirby either! He's lying!"

"Y/N Y/L/N?" Bailey questioned. "How could you? Where the hell are the others?!"

"You're insane!" you yelled at him. You redirected your attention to them, finding it hard to breathe. "I'm not Ghostface! He is! He knocked me out and forced me into this costume! Please, you have to believe me!"

"Did you and Y/N kill Quinn?" Bailey asked in anger, his question targeted at Kirby. "Did you two kill my daughter?!" He shook you, looking at you when he finished his question.

"Jesus Christ!" Kirby let out.

"We didn't do anything!" you answered, feeling your voice beginning to give out. "You know that, you asshole!"

"Whatever he's been saying to you, don't listen to him! Y/N and I are innocent!" Kirby defended you both. "He's probably Ghostface."

"Why would he kill his own daughter?" Sam couldn't help but question, glancing back and forth between you and Kirby.

"Because he's a psycho!" you answered loudly.

"It doesn't make any sense—"

Kirby's voice overpowered Tara's concern as you saw her eyes go wide and gun straighten. "Behind you!"

You heard loud footsteps rushing toward you from behind but everything went silent the moment Bailey shot his gun, landing two bullets in Kirby's stomach. She fell to the ground, causing you to gasp. You let out another shriek when you felt a pair of strong arms grab you from behind, restricting you from movement as they dragged you along with them to stand beside Bailey.

It was Ethan.

"Great job," Bailey complimented. "Both of you."

"What the fuck?" Sam breathed out in confusion until she saw your frightened figure still being held. You saw guilt flash across her face for not trusting you.

"Let her go!" Tara screamed, heading for you but Sam had to hold her back.

It caused Bailey to chuckle. "Oh, you should've seen the look on your faces. To think your only friend would betray you but she's actually innocent; just ended up being in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"Fuck you!" You let out.

Ethan covered your mouth with his gloved hand and you instinctively relaxed in his grip but forced yourself to fight him in order to make it look believable. You assumed he wanted to make sure your words wouldn't end up pissing Bailey off so he didn't do anything rash to you.

You were fading in and out of reality. You weren't paying attention until Bailey nudged Ethan to take off his mask.

He pulled it off with a smile on his face.

You looked up from where he had you, your mouth dropping into a fake gasp. "E-Ethan?"

"Hi, baby," he whispered in your ear. "Mindy was right. It was easy to juke the roommate lottery. I mean, all I had to do to meet you guys was to room with a conceited, condescending asshole, literally named Chad. Fuck, it felt good to kill him!" His tone made you flinch; he sounded really insane. Then he rose his mask in the air. "This was your grandmother's Sam; Nancy Loomis. Really runs in the fucking family, doesn't it? And speaking of family…my names not Ethan Landry. Isn't it, dad?"

Tara looked lost. "Dad?"

"Had to keep it secret. I mean, I had to get close to you guys somehow," Ethan stated, leaning his cheek to be against yours. He gave you a quick kiss on the cheek which would've made you blush in any other circumstance. "Had to have Y/N for myself."

"You're psychotic," you told him.

Catching him off guard, you managed to shove his arms away from you. Tara and Sam were prepared to pull you away but he gathered you rather easily as you didn't make it much of a battle to. You just needed to look like you weren't comfortable with being in this position.

What startled you was the feeling of his blade being placed against your throat. "Not so fast," he whispered.

You gulped. Now you were really afraid.

"Let her go, you asshole!" Tara shouted.

Ethan pulled the knife away and rose it at her which absentmindedly made her flinch. "Oh, come on. Y/N doesn't mind this. Don't you, baby?"

"Fuck you," you breathed out.

"So vulgar that mouth of yours." His attention was purely on you as his knife was placed back against your throat.

Tara watched in disbelief, shaking her head.

"Ethan was the one who came up with this plan," Bailey said proudly, squeezing his son's shoulder. "He knew how easy it would be to make Y/N fall for him. It kept him from looking suspicious because nobody suspects the caring boyfriend."

They both began to chuckle together. You rolled your eyes at them. It caused Ethan to dig the knife deeper into your skin, on the verge of slicing you.

"Wait," Sam interrupted them. "If it's you two, then that just leaves…"

While they all gawked in betrayal at Quinn's reveal, Ethan leaned his lips close to your hair to cover his words. "You okay?"

You glanced at him and you could see the apologetic look in his eyes for the position he had you in. You nodded very slightly before trying to squirm out of his grip again.

"Hey, roomies. You didn't see that one coming, did you?"

"Yeah, because you died!"

"Kind of didn't." Quinn tilted her head. "I had to get off the suspect list. Stab Gale Weathers, stab Mindy in the train, take Y/N because Ethan couldn't do it himself!"

Ethan rolled his eyes.

"It's funny, isn't it," Quinn continued. "Poor Y/N. She was just trying to help her friends which only led her straight into the trap. Come on, how fucking stupid can you be?!"

"Let her go," Sam stated sternly. "She has nothing to do with this!"

"She has everything to do with this!" Quinn yelled back, walking over to where Ethan still held you. She traced the tip of her knife along your stomach which caused you to shiver as she pressed into your stitches. "She's a killer, just like you, Sam. That's why it'll be easy to frame you both."

"What?" Tara questioned.

"Oh." Quinn jumped from her spot. "You didn't really think we'd take the blame for it. It'll all fall onto Sam, the villain of Woodsboro. She couldn't get enough so she just had to go on another killing spree and she couldn't do it all alone! She needed someone to help her."

"Y/N's not a killer," Sam stated matter-of-factly, watching in disbelief. "Neither am I. We're not killers."

"Oh, shut up!" Quinn snapped.

Bailey walked forward, pulling out a mask from his jacket and raising it for her to see. "You're a killer just like your father."

"No, I'm not!" Sam yelled.

"Yes, you are, you motherfucker! You killed our brother!"

Tara furrowed her brows. "You said your brother died in a car accident?"

"No, no, no, you sweet dumb thing," Ethan jumped into the conversation. "He died in Woodsboro at the hands of your bitch sister with the help of Y/N, here."

Sam's face fell in realization. "You're Richie's family."

"Now she's finally getting it." Ethan smirked.

He gripped your robe, tugging you carelessly to follow him as he and Quinn ventured around the seats in order to get behind Sam and Tara, significantly trapping them. It caused the two to tense and you as well. You weren't sure what was going to happen next.

"Y/N didn't kill him," Sam declared in annoyance. "I'm the one who slit his throat; I'm the one who watched him bleed to death as he cried like a fucking baby."

"Shut your whore fucking mouth!" Quinn lashed out, walking forward to push Sam, catching her off guard.

"Hands off, Quinn!" Bailey demanded loudly which seemed to set his psychotic daughter in place. "Before we get into that, we have something else that needs to be done first." It seemed all their attention fell on you. "Ethan, why don't you go take care of Y/N. Plant her body just where we discussed."

"No!" Tara yelled, attempting to head toward you but was stopped by Quinn, who stepped in front of her with her knife.

Sam pushed Quinn, causing an uproar as they tried to fight her but Bailey put their actions to a pause by facing the gun to their faces. They both shuddered and stopped fighting, having to watch you be dragged away.

"Go, Ethan," Bailey instructed.

"No, no, no," you heard Tara cry out until he pushed you inside the room and the door was shut, silencing all sound.

"God," Ethan groaned, dropping the act, even dropping his knife in the process as he rushed towards you, grabbing your face in his hands as he checked for any injuries. "I'm so sorry. Are you okay? They didn't touch you, right? I didn't mean anything I said; I promise. I hate this so much—"

"Ethan," you interrupted his rambling. "Hey, it's okay. I'm fine, I promise. I've been through worse."

Not wasting another second, he leaned down to pull you into a passionate kiss. Several emotions were coursing through you but once feeling his lips on yours, you felt yourself relax as if you two weren't on the verge of being potentially murdered by his fucked up family.

He couldn't pull away, afraid if he did, he would lose you so you had to be the one to do it—even if it hurt you to. "What's the next step?" you asked him.

"Faking your death," he told you casually. It almost made you want to laugh. "They're too indulged with Sam and Tara to pay attention to us. Besides, they can't hear much but I have to make this look quick."

You nodded, listening as he was about to get into what he wanted you to do next but the sound of footsteps caused you both to go rigid. When you looked past his shoulder, you felt relieved when you saw Kirby, miraculously still standing despite the amount of injuries she had endured, with her gun aimed at Ethan.

"Let her go," she instructed him.

"Kirby, wait," you interrupted, pushing him behind you so now her gun was facing you. "He's innocent."

"What? But I heard him. He killed Chad—"

"I didn't. I didn't hit any major arteries," Ethan defended himself.

"What are you talking about?" Kirby questioned.

"Ethan was Ghostface but he had to be in order to keep me safe so I offered to help him kill Bailey and Quinn for saving my life," you explained very vaguely, your words slurring together. "Please, you have to believe me. He would've done something to me by now if he wasn't."

Kirby took a second to process your words before she began to slowly drop her aim. "Okay. Okay, I believe you."

"Good," you thanked her, turning to Ethan. "What's next?"

"Down the hallway will lead you into the room where the back entrance is located. The plan for them is to make Sam understand what she's done before attempting to kill them both," he told you and Kirby, who had approached you two to watch your backs for any unwanted guests who would pop out. "Our backs will be facing you two and which gives you both the opportunity to get either of them because they won't see you coming."

"Okay." You nodded. "You got that, Kirby?"

"One step ahead of you," she responded.

"And this is for you." He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a large hunting knife. "For your protection."

You chuckled breathlessly, taking it from him as you looked up from the knife to him. "We got it from here," you assured him. "Go before they find you suspicious."

Ethan nodded, preparing to leave until he paused, leaning down to pull you back in for another kiss. You sighed into his lips, wanting nothing but to kiss him all day and not have to face the reality that lied outside the room.

"Wrap it up, lovebirds," Kirby said in impatience.

Ethan pulled away, his cheeks flushed red. "Be safe," he demanded more than said.

"You too," you told him, smiling.

He squeezed your hand, as if reassuring you, before he let you go and headed towards the door. He grabbed his knife, taking a second before finally leaving the room.

"Let's go, kid," Kirby demanded, already walking away which gave you no choice but to follow.

She took lead as she was the one with the gun, securing the place before gesturing for you to follow.

While stopped at a corner, her peeking past the wall to make sure it was clear, you couldn't help but question aloud to distract you from your thoughts. "How are you still alive?"

Kirby turned and gave you a look, as if saying 'right now really isn't the time'. You sucked in a breath and nodded, letting her go back to what she was doing.

When you both made it to the room Ethan was talking about, you found Chad propped up against a counter. He looked dazed, on the verge of passing out—or dying. You immediately ran to him, crouching to his level.

"Chad, hey? Can you hear me?" you asked stupidly, grabbing his face.

"…Y-Y/N?" His voice was quiet and weak.

"Yeah, it's me," you answered. "I need you to hold on just a little bit longer, okay? It's almost over with."

"I'm trying," he hissed through his teeth.

"Y/N, when should we make our move?" Kirby asked, making you look to see her peering through the window.

You rubbed Chad's arm reassuringly before getting up to look through the other one right beside her. You could see a video of Richie when he was younger playing on the projector, causing you to scoff.

Kirby glanced at you and back at the scene. "That's the fucker who got you guys last year, isn't it?"

You nodded, feeling angry. All the pent up emotions you forced yourself to swallow over the past year were resurfacing. "Let's get them now."

She nodded, opening the door very quietly. You put your finger to your lips, gesturing for her to stay silent as you crawled forward to the memorabilia. Kirby whispered a bundle of words but you didn't listen as you discreetly reached up at one of the cases, opening it and stealing the knife that was being displayed.

You had no idea who it belonged to previously but you needed to get it just in case Tara or Sam needed one.

When you crawled back to Kirby, she had a surprised mixed with disbelief look on her face. "What the hell?"

"I had to get one for Sam and Tara," you responded.

"Just get behind me," she instructed, which you followed because she was someone you didn't want to piss off.

Kirby took a moment of contemplation, preparing herself before she leaped out, shooting perfectly at Bailey. She had two shots in his stomach but was stopped from continuing as Quinn tackled her to the floor.

You jumped out from your spot, stabbing her straight in the back and throwing her off Kirby.

"Y/N?" Tara questioned, running toward you.

You gasped in surprise when you felt her body being thrown on you, her arms wrapping around your waist. You had pry her arms off of you. "Here, give this to Sam," you said, handing her the knife. "Kill that motherfucker."

"I thought Ethan killed you," she said sadly, tears in her eyes.

Before you could respond, you fell forward into Tara's arms as Quinn stabbed you in the middle of your back. She pulled it out and was prepared to land another one until Ethan shoved her back to the ground, keeping her in place by shoving his knife straight into her chest. At this, Tara looked extremely confused, helping you gain your balance.

You glanced behind your shoulder to see what she was looking at and groaned as you straightened your posture to help yourself stand. "He's on our side," you let out before you pushed her toward Sam. "Just go help Sam—hurry! I'll take care of Quinn."

Tara nodded, making sure you were okay before running back to where Sam was struggling to keep Bailey down.

You turned to help Kirby up from the floor. She dusted herself off and grabbed her gun. "Thanks."

Then you two hovered over Quinn, who was gasping for air as Ethan twisted the knife, causing her to gasp. He pulled it out, blood flying to coat his face as she winced loudly.

Kirby rose her gun, aiming it at her forehead but you stopped her before she could pull the trigger. "Wait."

"What?" Kirby asked, confused.

You didn't answer, leaning down instead to hover above her face as she struggled to move, let alone speak. Blood was spewing out of her mouth as she tried to say something, probably an insult of some kind.

You straddled her waist, gripping her hair as you brought her face close to yours. "Ready to die just like your brother?"

Quinn's eyes widened but she wasn't able to do much as your knife sliced her throat, causing blood to run out. You stood up, returning back to your spot between Ethan and Kirby, watching as she took her last breath. Her eyes fell motionless, staring at the ceiling.

You turned your head to look at Ethan. "You okay?"

Ethan glanced at you, nodding. "Yeah. She was always a terrible sister, anyway."

His response made you smile. Kirby watched the two of you with a smile of her own. "You two did good."

"So did you," you complimented.

She ruffled your hair, earning a smile from you.

A gunshot caused you three to jump, turning around, prepared to attack but became aware that it was from Sam. Tara had the knife in her hand, covered in Bailey's blood as Sam was the cause of the bullet between his eyes.

When you approached them, Sam flinched at the sound of footsteps and rose the gun.

"Hey, it's just us!" Kirby hollered.

Sam nodded until she furrowed her brows, turning her aim at Ethan. He widened his eyes in fear, raising his hands.

"No, wait!" you shouted, jumping in front of him like you had done with Kirby previously. "He's with us."

"What?" Sam questioned.

"It's true," Kirby confirmed, taking a spot next to you in order to shield him as well. "He was the one who told us what to do in order to save you guys."

"But your dad and sister—"

"Are insane," Ethan finished her sentence. "I wanted nothing to do with this. The only reason I helped was because they threatened to kill Y/N," he explained to them, making you reach to hold his hand to comfort him. "I'm sorry for what I've caused and not being able to stop them before we got to this point. I'm really sorry."

"Sorry won't bring back the people we lost," Sam told him.

"I know." He nodded sadly.

"Sam." Tara brought her hand up to force her sister's arm down, making her lower her aim. "He helped us and he saved Y/N. He could've just let us die."

"We don't have time for this," Kirby groaned in annoyance, sticking her gun back into her holster. "You have to get to Chad. I'll call for help."

"Chad?" Tara questioned.

Kirby nodded, leading her into the room where he was situated. She left you, Sam and Ethan alone for any further conversation that needed to be made as she went to go help Tara and call the police.

Sam sighed, dropping the gun. "I can't forgive you, Ethan but I'm sure as time goes by, I can find a way to. You mean a lot to Y/N and she means a lot to me. So, if she's able to trust you and then I am too," she told him, giving a brief smile until she turned serious. "But if you do anything to hurt her, I won't hesitate to—"

"Got it," he interrupted, nodding sternly.

"Good," Sam responded. "I'm glad you two are safe."

"I'm glad you are too," you told her sadly, walking forward to give her hug. "Don't believe anything they said, Sam. You aren't like your father."

"I know, Y/N/N," she whispered, caressing your head.

You heard soft chatter coming from outside the theater room, catching your attention. "It must be the police."

"Let's go," Sam told you both.

You nodded, letting her walk first as you grabbed Ethan's hand in yours. Before you two continued, you paused, turning to face him with a sad expression. "Are you sure you're okay?"

Ethan smiled, genuinely smiled, looking down from where you held his hand back into your eyes. "I will be because I got you and I couldn't be more thankful."

You grinned. As long as I got you.

[neo-zone]

Sweet Home 3 Official Trailer Personal Breakdown

Some little narration from monster Hyun-su with flashbacks of the last two seasons moment of them. Neat, I like it

Yi-kyung's daughter seems surprised (and kinda scared). Maybe when she realizes who her father is or she's realizing how bad the situation is in the stadium once it's already too late to go back to her peaceful garden? But who knows

Alright, how we go from monster Hyun-su having no sense of privacy at the last episode of season 2 to a scene of him and Eun-yu laying down separately like a divorced couple sleeping on different beds in season 3?

I guess the scene where Hyun-su parted with Eun-yu is after the night attack or well whatever, the main point is it's before the time skip. Also this is most likely the last time we see him with his best hairstyle before he went back to his older one and wearing some fancy clothes because why not. As for Eun-yu and Chan-young, maybe they went back to the stadium? But I don't know

What's this last step of monsterization Eun-hyeok mentioned? I thought it's just stop at the infected regaining full control over themselves after 15 days and got a cool superpower (although most are just variations of fleshy kinda icky stretched limbs, no not you Hyun-su your wing is cool) 🤔 Second power-up stuff, maybe?

So monster Hyun-su attacking Chan-young might have just been a red herring (gladly because whatever the reason they fight it does not make sense for both characters). There's another nasty murderous monster near the hospital at night and Chan-young probably planned a suicide attack with the explosion because duh what else a feeble human like me gonna do against a monster immune to firearms. Monster Hyun-su ofc got his shared abandonment issue with Hyun-su triggered and his immediate response is unconventionally grabbing Chan-young away before he could do something reckless. Hopefully that's what actually happened

On the other hand, THIS (Hyun-su vs Eun-hyeok) is the actual fight (more like little brawl you saw on school tho before Hyun-su uses his wing). Does remind me that the first thing Hyun-su did after waking up in S2E1 is beating up Sang-won (though unsuccessful in the end because he's skewered like a kebab on the vehicle ceiling shortly after). I could see it as both reference and parallel with the scene I just mentioned: Hyun-su saw what he thought is a Green Home survivor he knew who "died" in season 1 and then got into fight with them inside a large vehicle. He probably thought Eun-hyeok went through a similar unfortunate fate like Sang-wook, so he fought him out of anger. Except Eun-hyeok is Eun-hyeok and his corpse is not possessed by someone else with a penchant of pushing Hyun-su's buttons *side eye to Sang-won*. Also he's very much alive and in control of himself. Notice that the outcome is also both of them talking in peace and some bromance bromance vibe

I just noticed that Hyun-su's wing is covered in fire! He's very much ok, so this is an improvement and could be vital in a fight against the monsters

I'm not sure how it really went when the Neohumans going to the stadium? Is it peaceful until the soldiers start attacking? Or is it attacking first before they comply? Or they start attacking after the time skip? Once again, Sergeant Tak, I know you 100% don't trust that motherfucker, so it's not too late to burn Sang-won with your gasoline stock. And make sure not even his ashes remain this time. He's kinda slippery so make sure he does not slip away and find another corpse to possess for the third time

You could see how obvious the "I don't wanna be here" look on the facility girl's face when the Neohumans gang are on the stadium. Poor girl

"Oraenmanieyo" (⁠◔⁠‿⁠◔⁠) ah, Hyun-su finally met with Sang-won again after ages. Can't wait for the unlimited stabbing and flirting 👀 Their long overdue meeting probably happened during the epic showdown at night between Hyun-su & Eun-hyeok (& others if there's any who's willing to die) vs evil Neohumans for the final battle, because it's on night as well and there's fire

Um so what's going on between Yi-kyung and Hyun-su? Whatever it is, I have a bad feeling about it, just like their fight last season

Please do tell me or correct me in the reply if I still missed something (ofc outside the repated scenes from first teaser or ones I had discussed in the previous breakdown) or wrong at something. Thank you

[cripplecharacters]

Feel free not to answer this question as it's more a research-type question, I'm just not sure how to go about finding what I need: do you happen to know any fiction books with portrayals of medium to high support autistic people that are considered realistic and positive? All I can find is rep of low support autistic ppl (unless it's in semi-educational children's books) and it's making it harder to figure out how to write medium to high support autistic ppl myself.

Hello!

When I was diagnosed, it was before the levels were used (Or at least before they were used where I lived). I suspect that I would be considered 'level one autistic' today but would likely have been 'level two', bridging into 'level three' as a child. This is all just to explain my perspective with this.

That being said, here are some of my recommendations:

A Step Toward Falling by Cammie McGovern

I just finished this book earlier today and while it isn't specifically about autistic characters, it does feature several autistic characters with high support needs as well as other disabled characters. The book is written from the perspective of two characters, one of which is developmentally disabled (Belinda). Although her disability is never specified, I do see a lot of autistic traits in Belinda. The premise of this book is a bit heavy. It's about two characters (Who are not disabled) who end up volunteering at a centre for adults with developmental disabilities. One of the things I appreciated about this book was how well rounded the characters are. Each of them has their own stories, interests, and ideas. I also like how it discussed sex and relationships in the context of people with developmental disabilities. Something to note is that this does have some sensitive topics such as ableism, sexual assault, and bullying. It is also written by a parent of an autistic child but, as far as I'm aware, the author herself is abled. I did have some conflicted feelings about specific parts of it but I'll leave that for you to make your own decisions about. Target Audience: Young Adult

How to Speak Dolphin by Ginny Rorby

I also read this book recently and I personally really disliked it. There were several scenes that made me feel very gross and I found that the autistic character was dehumanized very often. One line that stuck with me was another character about a blind character, essentially saying, "I thought she was going to drown herself. If I was blind, that's what I would do." Although the character does get to know the blind character and changes her mind, it really felt awful to read and seemed so unnecessary -- especially given the target audience. The way it talks about blindness in general bugs me. That being said, I have seen several autistic people recommending the book (Which was why I read it in the first place) so I'll include it here anyways since my opinion seems to be in the minority around this book. Target Audience: Elementary/Middle Schoolers This is a brief review from another autistic person. [Link]

Planet Earth is Blue by Nicole Panteleakos

This book centers around Nova, a young autistic girl with high support needs. Nova is a foster child who is missing her older sister and the story is told through a mix of narrative, letters to Nova's sister, and flashbacks. It's been a while since I've read this book but I remember really enjoying it (And maybe crying a little bit too). The author is autistic herself and also consulted many other autistic people with a variety of experiences, which I appreciated. Target Audience: Middle Schoolers This is a more in-depth review on the book from a reader who (I believe) is also autistic. [Link]

These are also a couple books that I've seen recommended but can't personally recommend as I haven't read them myself yet:

Real by Carol Cujec

Remember Dippy by Shirley Reva Vernick

I know it's not very much but hopefully it's enough to get you started! If anyone has any recommendations for anon, feel free to mention them in the notes.

Cheers,

~ Mod Icarus

[erinartemis]

OMGOMGOMGKFMSGSKB IM FREAKING OUT IT'S HERE!!! MURDER DRONES EPISODE 7 TEASER!! EEEEEE!!! I went frame by frame and picked out some cool scenes I wanted to scream about, so get ready for a bunch of crazed ramblings and some theories !! (Long post ahead, folks)

Okay first of all- just- the lighting in these shots ✨ simply gorgeous... Also that "poster" thing in the background of the first image is very interesting.. obviously it says HELP (though that looks scrawled-on afterward with probably blood), and it looks like there could be possibly eyes? EDIT: it's not eyes it's two drones standing !!!

Also can we appreciate how creepy cool that hole in the ground is :00

THEIR ROOMS! THE SILLIES' ROOMS!!! WHAT SECRETS DO THEY HOLD?? I hope we find out

EDIT: THEY'RE LOCKERS NOT ROOMS OOPSIES

Good to see we've still got a bit of that classic md humor: "not to be overdramatic but core collapse" xd

N oh no N IS HE OKAY?? what am I talking about ofc he's not (I'm going to cry at this episode)

OKAY NEXT-

This thing. What is this thing. Probably part of the Solver, as it's all organic and eldritch-y, and it has veins. It looks lit from behind, almost like we're looking out from the inside of something? I think it's possible somebody gets dragged into one of those physical manifestations of the Solver, and this could be their perspective from inside it! Oooor we're looking at it from the outside, and there's something glowing inside the mass.

Next up, these guys??? So many possibilities here... They look like humans, but they aren't necessarily so, just like the "Tessa Isn't Human" theory. And from what little you can see in the teaser, they are moving in an odd way- suspicious. I originally thought they could be manifestation of the Solver or something, created to confuse, but after considering it for a bit, I realized it's more likely this scene is a flashback to when the core collapsed.

SOLVERUZISOLVERUZISOLVER- OHHHH BOY SOLVER UZI

Okay. This shot is a bit confusing; can't really make out what's going on- To me, it looks like something is possibly exploding? And the red string things are lasers or something? Also the blobs in the foreground definitely look like Solver hands, but- that's all I've got for this one

Tessa. Tessatessatessa tessa are you pulling a sword on Uzi? oh no, you are, aren't you, ohh no

WHAT DID UZI SEE. ON THAT TV SCREEN. HELP SHE LOOKS SO TRAUMATIZED- Also also wanted to point out the "freaking ninja star" on the ground.. little callback there :,)

the crucifix will be important, oo religious imageryyy eee

DOG.

Small thing, this is clearly the same scene from the GLITCHx 7/8 teaser, but it's the shot from a little bit before the clip in that teaser plays. I wonder how much control Uzi has over herself at this point... These robots are going to so much pain someone help them

norinorinori nori I'M SO READY FOR THE LORE AND FLASHBACKS EEEE

OMGOMGOGMOGMOMG YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HYPED I WAS WHEN I SAW THIS- WE'RE GETTING MURDER N YALL!!! FIRST TIME SINCE THE PILOT EEEE!!! Oh my gosh I just KNOW it's going to be an emotional response to something horrible happening- something to do with Uzi getting fully possessed, or almost dying, or N THINKING she's dead, or just all the stress of EVERYTHING, along with V's (hopefully not actually) death, and it just pushes him to his breaking point OH AND all the repressing he's been doing this whole time WILL NOT BE HELPING WITH THAT !!! I'm SO EXCITED TO FIND OUT AAAA-

Oh it could also be that N gets factory-reset, causing him to actually lose his memories or something, which is AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT PILE OF ANGST, but personally I hope/think it'll be closer to the first one... It seems very likely to me that all of the stuff N's been going through (and how he's just been pretending everything's fine) would catch up to him, and it would lead to an "outburst" of everything he's been bottling up. PLUS do y'all remember that merch ad?? I know it was just a promo, but merch stuff has been shown to be kind of relevant to the plot in the past soo... yeah I'm feeling very good about this theory-

Okay so this is the same guy from the earlier image with all the humans- That feels notable, like they're going to be important. And is it just me and my poor video quality or does the Sentinel hand look glitchy?? Could it have turned on the humans like the one that turned on "Tessa" in Cabin Fever??

Oh dear, that's oil (or blood; they whole thing's too red to tell) coming from Uzi's eye... Feeling like the same thing that happened to Doll happens to Uzi... agh the ANGST hdfbsjsb

DOOOOOLL DOLL DOLL !!! SHE'S THERE !! I THINK SHE HAS BUTCHER KNIVES AGAIN !! I wonder who she's fighting... (I mean it could be a sentinel, but it looks like she's talking, so I'm guessing it's one of the group) ee I'm excited to see where Doll's character goes from here !!

ALLLLRIGHTY!! This has been a breakdown of my personal thoughts on the teaser! I am SOOO excited; these next two weeks need to go by FAST but ik they won't- Anyways... thanks for reading ! :D

[py-dreamer]

remember that post with the blumin ghibli costumes where RS was the Baron?

Remember that dance scene in the cat returns?

Yea so I did a lil something something...

Its very niche and such but I personally really liked the concept

It was very fun drawing Xiaotian in like western princely wear, fairytale prince-esque. I was just fully self indulgent this time, gave him a crown, the earrings, the Cape, the collar, trimming, cloud buttons, the works.

Props to the masculine version of underkeep Frisk for Mk's design! Bit of a flashback to the past with that undertale reference eh?

(Does anyone else recognise underkeep? If not, I really recommend to just see the gorgeous character design with similar themes to this piece!)

Drawing red son in the Baron's outfit was so much fun! In particular, that feathered hat which matches their fluffy tail. Also, I actually searched up masquerade Bull masks as inspector for RS's mask and knew I wanted to make the horns longer as a sort of crown for his actual horns.

Lighting was also a fun new take with an intense spotlight and harsh shadows! Hopefully I was accurate enough...

here's an unshaded version so you can see the outfits more!

I don't actually think I'm going to turn this into an actual au, it's more of a fun one shot really, but one I had a lot of fun with!

Also @cats-and-confusion,@leesbian42,@violetjedisylveon,@cryptidwithaninternetconnection and @people who want to join!

What would you match your favourite lmk ship, duo or dynamic with what ghibli ship, duo or dynamic?

Reblogs > likes

(Click photo for less sh!tty quality)

[dvilkings]

how i would write and wish the rest of the bridgerton show would go (following the books but putting the spin onto things as the show has done): includes spoilers!!!

s3 p2 ~ colin and penelope

colin and penelope are engaged, announcing to her family and his. but eloise, upon finding out, forces pen to tell colin that she is lady whistledown. and she does with much nervous anticipation. maybe after she speaks with colin more about his own writing, encouraging him to publish his work. colin’s reaction to her being LW is angry of course — though not like he was when he said he would “ruin” lady whistledown's life upon finding out who the writer is. he is angry at pen for putting herself in danger of getting caught, and the backlash she will undoubtedly face if the ton finds her out.

this will lead into colin demanding pen retire. though she does not want to, for colin she would. she makes her last entry and calls it quits and continues on with her engagement to colin in a peaceful manner...

(this is where part of me wants a different outcome. that pen does not retire as LW and instead keeps writing, after convincing colin why she must, and his anger and jealousy turns to acceptance. i want this outcome a little more because it will keep the mystery of lady whistledown with the show for longer. and keeps a good narrative for the story to move -- and it would be so sad to not have julie andrew's wonderful voice taking us through regency london. the only downside i see to this is the rest of the seasons, which are notably not in the limelight of society and the eyes of the ton like the previous ones are. they are more on the outskirts and the quiet life of the regency era. and thus, LW would not be able to see much of the goings on for the rest of them. and besides, now that penelope will be married, and to the man of her dreams no less, she doesn't much have need for LW anymore. that comfort and wall will be replaced with colin and her future with him. so there are definitely pluses and minuses for each)

during this time, the queen will announce a bounty put on LW: whoever comes forth and exposes LW’s identity will receive a certain amount of money. this spurs cressida to make her announcement that she is LW, thinking the money could help her and her family so she is not forced into an arranged marriage with someone older who she will not like at all. except pen will not let cressida be known as LW and essentially take her work. so she posts her one last issue of exposing cressida, and then she is confronted in her home where cress explains how she knows pen is LW, and pen's slip up.

since finding out pen is LW, colin has been very tense with her, realizing that he is more jealous than anything, that she had a purpose for so long and her writing while gossip filled, was truly very good. and something he thought he could never live up to. but pen keeps insisting he is wonderful.

pen goes to colin, where he sets up his elaborate scheme with anthony, just like in the books, and announces to the entire ton that pen is LW at the last ball of the season, coincidentally, a masquerade ball. which is also where benedict meets the mysterious lady in silver, aka, sophie (opting not to use her last name in case it is changed due to any ethnicity changes the show (hopefully) makes for her), and he falls in love with her at first sight, having their private moment and kiss before she flees from the scene, most likely when colin makes his big announcement and uses it as a quick escape.

upon the ton accepting pen as LW is how s3 will close, leading to benophie's story for s4

s4 ~ benedict and sophie

time jump ~2 years into the future… benedict is stuck and fixated on his lady in silver, trying to find her after 2 years of searching, to no avail. not knowing her name, what she looks like as she was wearing a mask, knowing nothing about her but for her smile and mysteriousness and the raw need of needing her as his wife.

we will receive flashbacks throughout of sophie’s life with the cowpers, living with araminta as a mother and cressida as a sister. her biological father, lord cowper, not seeing her as anything more than a burden, and lady cowper suggesting she’d make a much better use as a mere servant. i believe at the end of s3/into the time jump, lord cowper will pass and araminta and cressida will be left with close to nothing, especially after cress' embarrassment after trying to announce herself as LW. she is a spinster at this point, something nobody ever thought would happen to her. but we see sophie and cressida as children, growing up as friends and the closest thing to sisters either will have (going off of cressida mentioning to eloise in s3p1 that she had a friend when she was young). but the cowper's dislike and disdain for sophie is clear from her childhood.

when the last ball of the season, the masquerade happens (s3ep8), the other servants helped sophie be able to attend for one night, but she is later on discovered by the cowper’s for her efforts and casted out. forced to find work wherever she can.

this lands her in a wealthy home as a servant. she meets benedict here when he attends a party at the home, where he saves her from the hands of her master’s son with filthy intents to touch her. and he takes her to the closest and safest place he can think of: the mondrichs, parents to the new and young lord kent.

they stay there with them for some time while sophie decides what to do with herself, where we see some of the mondrich's life and their son being raised to be the next lord kent as he is older now (early teenhood i believe?). benedict has no idea that sophie is his lady in silver, and sophie is beginning to fall in love despite her never being able to be with ben. and eventually, ben starts to feel the same, and while he wants to have her as his mistress, knowing she wouldn’t be a fit wife as she is a servant, and he still must marry a woman of proper lineage — she refuses, as she does not want to end up like her mother and have a child who would live just as she has. so he takes her to his mother’s new home (having moved out of the bridgerton house as kanthony have started their own family) as that is the only place he can take her where she will still be close to him — where she becomes a lady’s maid for the girls, eloise and hyacinth.

things follow closely here from the books for benophie. meanwhile, francesca has married john sometime during the time jump (presumably right after s3 ends, close behind polin) and travel between scotland and london. now we are introduced and see some of michael and his life and maybe longing for frannie. this season john most likely dies and we see the beginning of frannie and michael’s story start to unfold, both dealing with the heartbreaking loss. she finds she is pregnant with john's child, and thus the wait happens to find out if her child is a boy, and whether michael will become the new lord of kilmartin or not. but she has a miscarriage, and michael is to become the new lord of kilmartin. and frannie needs him in her time of mourning and strife, but he cannot see her and instead leaves for india, most likely because he had a recent discussion with kate about all the places to see and visit.

and with sophie living with violet and the girls, she grows close to them all, even eloise who has been writing letters mysteriously. sophie is the one to notice this and inquire more about it but eloise is still stubborn and tight lipped.

some time goes by until sophie is spending time with kanthony's children who are visiting violet's home and hyacinth, leading to the scene with her wearing a cloth to cover her eyes and leaving only her mouth exposed. benedict walks in and immediately knows that sophie is his lady in silver. they discuss, they argue, sophie reveals who she is and how she is the illegitimate daughter of the late lord cowper. and she runs away. right into lady cowper discovering sophie is working for the bridgertons and she schemes to get sophie thrown in jail for stealing immediately. which leads then to benedict and violet saving her from being hanged, even cressida becoming involved (sophie was her very first friend, and close to a sister, her character being a perfect mixture of rosamund and posy from the books). and benedict announces their engagement, unbeknownst to anyone, even sophie, right there.

upon finding out ben is now engaged, and the recent letter from phillip (her mysterious letter writing receiver) that she has still yet to respond to, she decides to run away to him, to see if she too could find happiness as half of her siblings have found thus far.

the season ends with sophie and ben engaged and planning to live in the country where it is quiet and out of society's prying eyes, frannie being a widow and losing her unborn baby while michael has offed to india, and eloise running away to sir phillip crane.

s5 ~ eloise and phillip

marina crane has died a year or two earlier (while she thought her life could be full of happiness and contentment with her children, she did not find it to be good enough to keep on going), and her children are older now, but phillip does not know how to act as their father as they are out of control and he did not have good parentage growing up. he has been writing back and forth with eloise bridgerton for some time since his wife’s death and he would like to meet her in hopes she will be a good wife and mother to his children, something he is desperate for. and then eloise shows up without notice.

they discuss, and go on as planned, where they can see if each of them will make an acceptable spouse. both finding the other to be not quite what they imagined after a year or two of corresponding. the children do not want eloise there, and in fact continue to lay traps and prank her in hope to make her want to leave - though she is not deterred. and after a particularly nasty prank that leaves eloise harmed, things change from there between all of them.

her family still has no idea where she is, even after many days away. but it doesn't matter to eloise, because during her stay with phillip and his children, she is growing attached and she believes she could be falling in love with them all. but one night post the accident of the children causing her harm, ending up with a bruise on her face, all of her brothers appear one night to confront the situation and phillip, questioning what has been happening. and though nothing that would warrant scandal, it will still come upon them since eloise ran away, without a word and without a chaperone (despite her being a spinster) and thus leads to a proper courting. eloise is taken to stay with benedict and sophie, living not too far away out in the country and phillip goes back and forth to court her every day as such is proper, while they are chaperoned by eloise's family.

we also see some of francesca living with being a widow, and missing john more than anything. her struggle with wanting a child but not being ready to find a new husband. and missing michael since he has left to india with a list of places to visit from kate. she is still lady kilmartin while michael is away, and taking care of the estate in scotland, which keeps her mind and body busy enough to not stop and think about her grief for too long during the day. and hyacinth is now out in society still, on her first or second year out and while she is from the bridgerton clan (notorious for their attractiveness and looks and popularity), her prospects dwindle due to her "un-lady like" personality that seems to scare off any man. seeing her try to navigate the marriage mart differently than her sisters, with her mischeviousness and stubbornness and unable to stop talking and picking arguments. then seeing a little bit of gregory as an eligible bachelor now, still young and nowhere near wanting a bride, but wanting to find a purpose for himself like all his siblings have seemed to have done. and also seeing a glimpse into kanthony's marriage family life. kanthony as the viscount and viscountess with their children, maybe one or two by this point. and hopefully some sight into daphne and simon (hopefully have recasting simon by this point, sad to say) and their numerous children. hopefully polin will have a child by now, or at least pregnant.

when eloise runs away to benophie's home after one of her fights with phillip, instead of their son getting sick, i believe it will be sophie, in the middle of her being pregnant - benedict is distraught and when phillip shows up to find eloise, seeing a tenderhearted moment of his understanding on the fear of losing a wife and child all in one. and later phillip explains to eloise how marina died in fact compared to the story they were telling the public, and how they will get married. that eloise is not leaving, contradictory to phillip's fears. they find their way into loving each other as they continue to court more, with the chaperone of anthony, and their dynamic as a family - how eloise comes to love phillip's children despite them not being his, and not being hers. and how they decide to navigate parenthood together, promising that they are not their parents or the ones that came before them, and will be better.

[this is where my thoughts will become shorter just because we don't have much build up from the show, aka the supporting characters and what not, so my thoughts will most likely be just as they are in the books, hoping the show will try to stick closely to them]

s6 ~ francesca and michael

michael decides to return to london after some years in india. and francesca has decided to rejoin society, end her mourning, and find a new husband so she may have children of her own. and while michael did run away after becoming the new lord of kilmartin, and needing space from francesca, he is still very much in love with her, unbeknownst to her. but we see more of this, of the heartache he has put himself through over the years. watching his cousin and the woman he loves be happy together, and then the one thing that was keeping him from her happened, and he couldn't let himself take that happiness.

watching frannie and michael reunite, and try to find their friendship again, to michael learning frannie wants children and will be looking for a husband this season, to frannie seeing michael as more than just the friend/cousin he once was to her when john was still alive, to michael making frannie jealous with his numerable admirers.

more people start to notice michael's feelings for frannie, most notably violet and colin (surprisingly). and even seeing their new closeness. as frannie frequently visits michael's home to care for him and his malaria he contracted in india. their relationship becomes more than friendship as francesca battles with her feelings towards michael and not knowing what to do with them. and after finally giving in to their desires, francesca flees back to scotland in the middle of the season. leaving michael confused and unknowing of what to do. colin is the one to spur him into action, telling him it is better to try for his happiness than to not, just as he had with penelope. i can imagine even violet will mention such the same to frannie as well, violet finding another happiness in marcus anderson, lady danbury's brother. that it is okay for frannie to go after her own happiness in someone else, that she can still honor her late husband, and live for him even after he is gone.

and so michael pursues frannie, running after her to scotland. accepting that john would have wanted him to be happy, even if it was with frannie. and francesca continues to battle with herself over her feelings for michael. and after finding her in the kilmartin estate, confronting one another, and asking frannie to marry him, her not knowing an answer, to getting stuck walking through the hillsides in the rain, fleeing to the land's caretakers old home, sleeping together again - michael almost wanting to prove to frannie she could get pregnant after her insecurities that she could not. to frannie speaking with john's grave and accepting that this is what john would have wanted for her too.

and so she says yes to michael, she will marry him.

the rest of the married bridgertons have started their families, found happiness with their spouses, something that drove francesca into jealousy because why not her. (i don't have much idea to what the lives of the supporting characters and other bridgertons will look like at this point as we don't see much of them in the books and the timeline is all off now, so this is what i have thus far) :

violet will have found happiness with marcus (i hope so at least)

kanthony will have several children by now, and have long completely taken over the bridgerton name and kate becoming a wonderful viscountess. anthony is proving to be an excellent father, something he seemed to have been born to do, showing so with his siblings in earlier seasons

daphne and simon are still happy and with several children of their own

polin are as in love as ever, with a child or two now, having spent some of their early life traveling together. and colin having a book published and working on more.

benophie are happy in the country, living the quiet life with a child or two, living close to

philloise and keeping a good friendship between their families, as eloise and sophie grew close when she was el's lady's maid. and their children while years apart, grow up together as friends as well.

[hyacinth's story will follow and then gregory's, though i have yet to finish hyacinth's story and have not started gregory's. i will update the thread once i have done so!!!]

s7 ~ hyacinth and gareth

tbd

s8 ~ gregory and lucy

tbd

[sweetcarrotsandroses97]

Spring | JJK

Hello darlings!!!

Pairing: royal guard!Jungkook x princess!Reader, prince!Jimin x princess!Reader (ft. Yoongi & Hoseok)

Summary: In which you, princess of the Gyeongdong Dynasty, were in the middle of wedding plans. An arranged marriage that would guarantee your father's bloodline to stay on the throne.

Or in which you are assigned a new royal guard that swore to protect you with his life. Jeon Jungkook. That's his name. A name you could never forget. A name that, slowly but surely got engraved not only in your memories but also in your heart.

Love, politics, betrayal and desire. All in ancient history. A love that never should have happened, two souls that wouldn't be allowed to be together.

Warnings: fluff, angst, mentions of past life, reincarnation! AU, implied soulmate! AU, flashbacks, ft. Yoongi and Hoseok, modern! AU, lost love, yearning, strangers to lovers???, all the feels, crying, there's a kiss, sweet and soft koo, hurt/comfort, (let me know if I missed anything!)

Word Count: 10.4 k

A/N: Hello, darlings! Welcome the the finale of "Four Seasons"! I know you guys have waited a looong time for this part to come out but it is finally here so let's see how Jungkook and our Princess will end their love story!

This whole story was highly inspired by "Moon Lovers" and the ending it should have had, (in my humble opinion). I included different scenes of other movies/shows/dramas that I liked with the hope you will like it as well.

Also thank you guys so much for 200 followers! Take this as my thank you gift, darlings!

Thank you so much for all the love this series got and thank you for sticking up with me to see the end of this journey and hopefully the beginning of many more! Please let me know your thoughts in the comments, darlings! Happy reading, everyone!

💜 Boraghae ARMY 💜

~Taglist for Four Season: @valhallawhispers @lovingkoalaface @seokout @ackercute @jksusawife

~Tagging people who were waiting for the finale (I apologise if you didn't want to be tagged) @jjanjankook @junghoseok07 @vminkookgf @allie-is-a-panda

We have lived through centuries, carrying many lives, carrying many deaths. Carrying a world only remembered by our pure soul.

Jungkook opened his eyes, it was still dark outside. He sighed, reaching over his nightstand and picking up his phone. His eyes burned with the sudden light coming from the small device as he turned off his morning alarm.

The phone rested on his chest as he hesitated whether to get up and go to work or probably call sick today once more. Yet a sudden weight getting on the bed made him sigh once more. His other hand blindly searched for his large and sweet dog to pet him lazily while remembering Bam was running out of food and he needed to buy another bag, that meant he had to go to work once more.

With a soft groan, he sat on the bed, searching for his slippers before he stood up and walked out of the bedroom with Bam hot on his heels.

The sun was barely out yet the sky was already painted in beautiful hues of blue and orange. Decorated with the soft looking clouds that seemed to have been delicate brushes over a painting in the museum Jungkook worked at.

Loneliness encapsulated Jungkook's heart as he gazed at the beautiful sky, he almost felt as if there was something missing in his life or rather, someone. He felt empty, divided and there was nothing that could fill that void in his soul.

He tried getting into cooking, but the soft ache was always there. Working out was the solution for some time but as soon as he was back home, that melancholy drowned his soul once more. It made him ache, dream and yearn for something he didn't even know what it was but he felt like he needed it to survive.

Spring had arrived a couple of weeks ago, the trees were blooming with beautiful pink flowers and the petals fell on the ground softly, creating an enchanting path to walk by. The parks were full of greenery and the birds began to sing after the crude winter. Warmer days were to come.

Jungkook found himself walking through the same streets like every morning to get to his full-time job. He walked monotonously, his earpods on only to stop people from talking to him, not that it had happened many times but there was something about today that he didn't wish to interact with people. The least he did it, the better.

No music filled his ears, the walk was monotonous; monochrome even. Without an ounce of colour in his life even when spring was flourishing around him.

However, the sudden smell of fresh roses invaded his senses and he was pulled back from his mind and looked around the crowd that walked alongside him but were unaware of his mundane existence.

Many people surrounded him. Many people continued their paths while he stood rooted to the ground. The scent so soft and calming it made his heart skip a beat without thinking about it. But the feeling was lost before he could fully grasp it. Something clawed at his heart to search for such a unique scent, to go after the person who owned it but the idea dissipated from his mind like fog in a spring morning as someone bumped his shoulder softly and Jungkook was forced to continue moving with the crowd who carried him away of his very first taste of spring.

You stared out of the window of your car, your chin rested over your knuckles as you lost yourself in your thoughts. You noticed the beautiful cherry blossoms have already bloomed, spring has arrived sooner than you thought. But despite the mesmerising view outside of your car, you felt nothing about the pink petals that signalled a new season has started.

Almost as if your heart was frozen. Many called you that. Ice Queen. For people have rarely ever seen you smile. As if it was physically harmful for you to do so. The public always had its eye on you given that you were the only and beautiful daughter of a very important politician, your life was surely of entertainment to the media.

"Did you check the files I sent you yesterday?"

Hoseok, your best friend and personal assistant, spoke next to you. His voice brought you back from your thoughts. You turned to look at him with that emotionless expression he had already gotten used to as you spoke with a dry voice.

"Of course. If I'm going to buy something, I inform myself well, Hoseok. You already know the drill."

He sighed, opening his phone as he checked a new message from your father.

"Is there anything that caught your eye?"

You took a deep breath, your fingers playing with the bracelet you never took off as you spoke with that same bored tone he honestly hated in you. Not because Hoseok had come to terms with it meant he liked it. He had once heard your beautiful laughter. Your precious smile was enough to illuminate a whole room. But that had been long ago. Many years had passed since those golden days. Days when you didn't have responsibilities, when there were no explicit expectations. Days when you both were only children.

"I want to see the paintings. The Gyeongdong Dynasty is known for their magnificent art but I won't be convinced until I see such art pieces with my own eyes."

Hoseok sighed yet again. If he got a dollar for every time he sighed these days he'd already be rich.

"Stubborn as ever."

He muttered under his breath and you turned around to look out of the window, hiding the minuscule smirk that threatened to break over your cherry red lips.

The car stopped in front of the Leeum Museum. You looked at the building, hearing how Hoseok stepped out of the car, just as your driver. Your best friend walked around the car and opened the door for you. With graceful movements you stepped out as well and stood tall on your ground as Hoseok closed the door behind you.

"I'll call you when we’ll be getting back."

Hoseok spoke to the driver, the older man bowed down at you both before he got in the car again and drove off. You stood in front of the museum, admiring the beautiful architecture. Soft wind made your hair fly slightly as you began walking to the castle of arts with Hoseok trailing behind you.

A sudden melancholy filled your heart with each step you took towards the building. As if you had been missing something and were only about to find it. It clawed at your heart and you shuddered at the feeling. Suppressing it as the double doors opened for you and you entered the elegant and modern museum, wanting to stay and leave at the same time.

"Today Miss Lee will be visiting us for her purchase, Jungkook."

Yoongi spoke as he leaned back on his office chair while twirling a pen between his fingers. Jungkook nodded, hands clasped in front of him as he listened attentively.

"She is an extremely special client, one of our main buyers. I am trusting you to tend to her every need. Don't mess with her. Let her roam around and when she decides what artefact she'd want to buy, bring her here. I'll sign the paperwork."

Jungkook looked at his boss and friend with curiosity in his big doe eyes.

"Is there anything specific I should know about her?"

Yoongi sighed deeply, twirling his chair a bit to the right as he looked outside the beautiful gardens of the elegant museum.

"You really don't follow the media, do you? Miss Lee (y/n) is known to have a very difficult temper. She has never been seen smiling and her attitude is as cold as ice, according to netizens. Don't follow her too closely, don't even look her in the eyes. We can't lose such an important purchaser as her."

"I understand."

Jungkook reassured with firmness in his voice, feeling something oddly familiar at the mention of the stoic woman's name. Something within himself he wasn't quick enough to grasp.

"You may go, she is expected to arrive any minute now."

The younger man nodded, bowing softly before he left the classy and minimalist office. Jungkook descended the marble staircase that led to the offices above only to come face to face with Jung Hoseok himself.

"Mr. Jung."

He acknowledged. Hoseok turned to look at Jungkook before a warm smile appeared on his delicate and beautiful features.

"Ah, you must be Jeon Jungkook, right?"

The latter nodded, extending his right hand forward. Hoseok shook his hand firmly before the both men began walking back to the gallery.

"I apologise. I wasn't notified when Miss Lee arrived. I'd like to introduce myself to her."

Jungkook spoke with professionalism in his deep voice. Silently earning Hoseok's silent approval about the younger man.

"Of course. I left her in the ancient relics hall. Let's go there, shall we?"

You had ventured on your own when Hoseok left you to search for the man who was going to accompany you and assess you in your purchase. You didn't pay him much thought as he disappeared around the corner, leaving you alone in the large and beautiful house of arts.

Your feet carried you through the halls, your heels clicking in the marble floors and echoing among the walls that told centuries of history.

The exhibition of the Gyeongdong Dynasty was one the public have been waiting for a long time now. Curious as ever as to what item were you to purchase as preservation of cultural treasure as per your father's own political project.

There was something terribly familiar about the artefacts you saw kept in glass boxes. Historical treasures were kept intact, there was jewellery from noble families and even the royal families of the dynasty that were managed to be restored.

Paintings, clothes, old parchments, vases and even toys were all around the place. You walked over to the hallway where the artefacts of the royal families were kept. Ignoring the heaviness in your steps, the sourness in your heart, the odd feelings that clawed at your heart.

A big glass wall allowed you to witness the mesmerising view of the gardens, cherry blossoms in all their resplandor bloomed at the very background, pink petals decorated the outer grounds and a small fountain was at the centre of the small yet lovely garden that you felt a sudden urge to go to.

You watched it in silence. The soft and pink petals falling behind you with delicate motions. Spring had arrived. But your heart was frozen. Cold as it missed something you yearned for yet didn't know what it was or how to find it. An empty feeling that had lived within you for as long as you can remember.

With a sigh, you forced yourself to avert your eyes from the garden and focus back on the artefacts around the big room. You watched replicas of the dynasty's royal robes. A dress colour orange picked your attention the most, perhaps for its intriguing details or beautiful tailoring. Maybe because of the extravagant colour but you found yourself staring at it for quite some time. A heaviness weighing your heart down as you forced yourself to move forward from the dress you knew once belonged to a princess.

You passed the row of robes and dresses in glass cages, focusing on the paintings hanging on the walls with their respective description below.

First family of the Gyeongdong Dynasty.

Second family of the Gyeongdong Dynasty.

Third family of the Gyeongdong Dynasty.

And so on. It was mostly a man and a woman in the painting, some had children others did not. And you guessed they were the kings and queens of the long lost dynasty that brought the land to prosperity before the Goryeo dynasty started.

You stopped in front of a painting of a man and a woman, both quite beautiful in the art piece. The woman in the painting was holding a baby in her arms and you couldn't help but tilt your head slightly at the strange familiarity you felt towards the beautiful portrait.

There were no names of the people in the painting, the Gyeongdong Dynasty had suffered quite the loss of information when the palace caught fire during the last family of the bloodline. However, you couldn't stop staring at the woman in the portrait. You didn't know why, but it almost felt as if you were watching yourself in a mirror.

You felt as if you resembled her, as if your soul recognised her even when you hadn't seen such a portrait before. The man however made you nostalgic over their sad story.

According to the description of the painting, the man and the woman were married and had a son but she had died of a heart disease. He never remarried and historians said the queen was deeply loved by her husband.

The more you looked at the painting, the heavier your heart felt. It was a family portrait. A family portrait that told a sad story. It made your heart clench in your chest and you took a step back, as if the painting was cursed by the heavens and you had to walk away from it.

Perhaps you needed to stop taking that herbal tea Hoseok always pestered you to drink on an empty stomach.

You felt your stomach sink when you saw the next painting. You recognised the man from the last portrait. The young king. His queen was by his side in the large throne hall and all the officers stood in front of the throne in line. You saw a man, standing next to the queen that wore dark robes and had rough and large hands clasped in front of him.

It felt as if you were dreaming. Watching a movie or remembering something you had forgotten as images flooded in your mind and you found yourself drowning in the violent waters that was the mind.

---

A soft smile was plastered over your features while still facing him. However, he ignored what you said and commented, his voice a bit more distant than before.

"You will trip if you walk like that."

It was a statement rather than a possibility and that had you frowning up at him. If he was going to be like this then your little trips to the city and nearby villages were going to be a bit dull, at least until you got to your desired destination.

"I won't! I don't lik-"

But your sentence got cut off when, just as he predicted, you tripped with a small rock. You gasped when you felt your body being pulled down to the ground by gravity, the heavy skirts of your dress not allowing you to gain back your footing.

It was only when you felt a firm hand grasping yours and a pull over your body when you were back on your feet.

"I told you you would trip over."

Officer Jeon said, his voice cold and distant but you were able to catch a tinge of humour behind his words. A soft blush painted your cheeks when you realised he was still holding your hand in his surprisingly warm one.

Out of a sudden you felt shy, retrieving your hand from his grasp and taking a couple of steps away from him as you hadn't noticed just how close the two of you were a mere second ago.

"That... that was- it wouldn't... aish. I don't like for people to walk behind me, I feel like I'm being followed. Just... just do me the favour, could you? Just walk next to me, I promise you won't get in trouble."

He sighed, looking around before agreeing with a silent nod.

"And, thanks by the way. For not letting me fall down."

He bowed slightly, the both of you continuing your path down to the city.

"I was just doing my work, Princess."

You had to bite down on your lip to keep the smile from shining all over your face. He indeed took that vow to heart. You thought. Looking up at him, you noticed just how handsome your personal guard was and a warm sensation spread all over your body.

"So... tell me. What's your name? How would you like me to call you?"

Your question made him look down at you for a split second but you continued to watch him with curiosity. If he was going to always be with you, at least you could be friends?

"I am the First Officer of the Royal Guards, Jeon Jungkook. You can call me as you please, My Lady."

Jeon Jungkook.

---

"Thank you for coming with me to the city."

He bowed down at you, not saying a word. When he straightened back up he was met with the sight of you holding a small bag towards him.

"You can have them, you looked like you wanted some of them. I won't be able to finish them all anyway."

Jungkook took the bag from your hand hesitantly, his fingers brushing yours for a split second before the contact was broken.

"I appreciate your generosity, Princess. Rest well."

You smiled a little wider at him, your hands clasping in front of you.

"You rest as well, Jungkook."

With that being said you entered your room, sliding the door shut. Only when Jungkook saw that you had closed the door did he begin walking back to his own room.

---

"You have good skills but your posture can be improved."

At Jungkook's words you lifted your gaze, meeting his dark brown eyes with your own once more. He gestured towards your bow with his chin and asked, his voice gentle like a summer breeze.

"May I?"

You nodded, handing him your bow. The warmth of his fingers brushed yours and you had to bite back a smile. He crouched down and picked up the arrow that had fallen from your grasp a moment ago.

Jungkook positioned himself and you watched his every move.

"You are too tense while holding the bow, if your hold is firm but at the same time gentle it will give you stability."

You listened carefully to his explanations as your eyes were glued to him and for the first time since he became your personal guard were you able to admire him. Properly admire him.

Your gaze landed on his focused face, on how his eyes were put on the target mark and nothing else. Then, you travelled to his lips and marvelled on the way he was pulling back the arrow until it touched the corner of his lips softly. His jawline was defined as if it had been sculpted by the gods.

His broad shoulders carried years of training and you could see how his muscles could be traced even with more than one layer of clothing. His veiny hands held the bow and the arrow with expertise and you found yourself trapped in a trance in which only Jungkook existed.

He fired the arrow, hitting the target in its centre. You looked amazed at the clean shot he did and he commented, giving you back your bow.

"Would you like to try again, Princess?"

You nodded and took the bow. Jungkook walked where the rest of the arrows were and picked one up. He handed it to you and you took it softly from his grasp. You positioned the arrow and prepared yourself to shoot.

You silently gasped when you felt a large hand over your left one, the one holding the bow and it took you less than a second to realise it was Jungkook who was guiding you. You smelled his scent from behind you and felt the light pressure of his body at your back but it wasn't uncomfortable, on the contrary, you felt safe being this close to him. It was... Soothing, to say the least.

"You need to relax your hand a bit more."

Following his instructions, he smiled.

"Good, now take a deep breath. Straighten up a bit more and concentrate."

You did as you were told, closing your eyes and relishing in the comfort Jungkook provided. The warm feeling of his hand over yours was nearly overwhelming. The moment you opened your eyes again, the only thing you could focus on was the target. Letting go of the arrow, it travelled through the air with a mute noise and landed directly on the mark.

A gasp left your lips and Jungkook let go of your hand just as you turned around and looked up at him. Your smile showed pure happiness, a happiness he was responsible for and for some reason, that settled a spark of proudness in his chest.

---

"I care for you, Princess."

You closed your eyes, letting the tears fall freely down your cheeks.

"You can't."

Whispered words reached his ears. Making his heart shake with the need to hold you, promise you that it was going to be alright.

"But I do."

You opened your eyes, looking at Jungkook through blurry vision. His eyes were filled with tears and you felt an ache in your heart at the sight of his tears.

"You weren't supposed to. You were only meant to protect me, Jungkook. That's it, nothing else."

He sighed, his eyes lowering to your trembling hands resting on your lap. He had a sudden urge to hold them. To hold you. To comfort you.

"I know. Love is blind, Princess. No-one gets to choose."

---

Your eyes were locked with his, not daring to break the eye contact that was grounding your thoughts, in a way at least.

"I'm begging you to put yourself in my shoes, it is not correct for me to write to you in such a way. Your fiancé is in the palace and you could get in trouble if someone finds out."

The way he said "you could get in trouble" not "me", not "we". It was you who he was worried about. His heart feared for you and the fact of such care brought tears to your eyes.

"It is not appropriate, Your Highness."

He bowed slightly at you, a lump forming in your throat as realisation hit you. You were losing him. You were losing the only man who could ever own your heart. The man you cared for over everyone else. The man you loved. You were losing your Jungkook but, was he really yours to begin with?

You could never claim yourself as his so no, he wasn't yours. He wasn't yours to love and care, he wasn't yours to be with you out of what was needed to be.

You took a deep breath, holding your head high and swallowing the lump in your throat. You were never going to say you loved him, you weren't going to put yourself in such pain. You didn't want his pity. The misery it'd come afterwards.

"You are right,"

This time, Jungkook flinched at your tone. Your words were void of any emotion, a sound that he used to know was as warm like the summer days felt now cold like winter.

"it is not right for us to write to each other. It will not happen again."

Even though that was what his mind desired for you to say, his heart hurt at your words. As if someone had just stabbed him directly in the heart. Your words had such an impact on him. Not because you were the Crown Princess but because he loved you. He loved you with all his body, soul and mind. He loved you more than love itself. But he knew the cruel reality. Jungkook knew that you both could never be together.

---

"Yes. You?"

He nodded. Not hearing the commotion from before. The intruders had been defeated by the remaining palace guards. He could hear Yoongi talking to the king about investigating the bloodbath that had just occurred in the throne room.

Jungkook looked down at you. The hand that once rested on your shoulder travelled down your arm until his fingers locked with yours, holding your hand and giving it a firm squeeze in reassurance.

But the moment was short-lived. The moment in which you lost yourself in his dark orbs and relished in the feeling of his touch as innocent and reassuring as was to hold your hand.

You saw, in a matter of milliseconds how his eyes shifted from you to something standing behind you. His sword clanked to the floor and his hand left yours, leaving it cold once more. You suddenly found yourself in his arms as he twisted you both. Being him who's back faced the entrance way.

You gasped at the motion. But nothing could have been worse than the pained groan he let out a mere second after he spun you around.

Tears gathered in your eyes when you saw one of the remaining intruders holding a bow, pointing it at you. Your eyes widened when you saw an arrow had pierced him on the back.

"Jungkook!"

He began to slump forward and you did your best to ease his fall. The hand that held the bow you had used to defend yourself clattered to the floor as you knelt on the ground, while Jungkook nuzzled his head in the crook of your neck.

Jimin, who stood next to the entrance way, had seen everything unfold before his eyes. He was quick to run towards the last intruder and kill him with his own sword before he turned back to you and watched how you held Jungkook in your embrace.

"Jungkook! Stay awake, you have to stay awake! Do you hear me? Jungkook!"

---

“I just remembered,”

He stood up, his hands leaving your grasp and you felt them cool down without the warmth of Jungkook’s large hands over your own. Your gaze followed him while he searched in one of his drawers until he pulled something out and walked back to you. 

“I made you something for your birthday but with everything that happened, I never got the chance to give it to you.”

You were glad you were sitting, if not, you would have probably fainted with the amount of love you had for this man. Had he really made you something despite the terms you were in before the engagement ceremony? Did he really love you that much?

Of course he did. 

When Jungkook loved, he loved with all his heart. And right now, you were the owner of that heart of his. He gave it to you without a second thought and his little actions kept proving it to you over and over again. He grabbed your left wrist and you looked down, watching as he tied a red braided bracelet around your skin. He tightened it with the perfect amount of force, tight enough for it to not fall but not that strong that it would hurt your precious skin. 

“Do you like it?”

You couldn’t take your eyes off his gift. It was a beautifully braided bracelet with small pearls in it. 

“It’s perfect.”

You whispered. Afraid that if you spoke any louder the moment would be ruined. His heart skipped a beat with your words.

“No-one has ever given me such a beautiful gift. Thank you, Jungkook.”

He scratched the back of his neck, clearing his throat and looking away. But you were having none of that so you, once more, grabbed his hand and made him look at you. Your (e/c) eyes met his big doe ones and you said, with tears prickling at the corner of your eyes.

“Thank you, Jungkook. For everything.”

He smiled, a warm smile that made butterflies go wild in your stomach. 

“You are very welcome, my princess.”

---

"Aren't you cold?"

That voice he enjoyed so much reached his ears, making him look up at you. He smiled. Shutting the book as his arm rested next to him. Your feet crunched the snow below as you made your way towards him.

"Not really, princess. I kept myself busy."

You smiled. Looking up at him as your hands clasped themselves in front of you.

"Aren't you cold, Your Highness?"

His voiced concern made your heart flutter. You feared he could hear just how fast your heart was beating inside your chest.

"No, I just came from taking a walk with the Crown Prince."

Jungkook kept his gaze on you yet you were aware how something flashed in his eyes at the mention of your future husband. It was there in those dark orbs you loved to get yourself lost into, a second in which he let his emotions take control over him. Where he was vulnerable to your watchful eyes.

But it was gone as you blinked. He gave you no time to question whatever you had seen in his gaze as he asked you next.

"Are you ready for your wedding day?"

The atmosphere turned sombre. As if clouds had hidden the sun of a summer day during tea time. Soft snowflakes began falling from the darkening skies in a soft motion. Delicately even.

"You know I'm not. How could I?"

The smile that once adorned Jungkook's handsome features was now gone. A sad look covered his eyes.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked that."

You took a deep breath. The little bubble of happiness and freedom he provided was now popped and you were brought to the harsh reality. You didn't say anything but you could feel his eyes on you as the both of you walked slowly through your private gardens.

The playful and innocent mood like a summer breeze had been clouded by the cold winds of winter. Of reality.

---

"You came."

You breathed out. Not really believing he was standing there, in front of you when you were literally getting married tomorrow.

"You called."

Jungkook answered. A fond smile was painted over his pink lips. His eyes twinkled with happiness upon seeing you. His hand reached forward in an unconscious manner. But he paused his motion before his palm graced your cheeks with his loving touch.

He lowered his arm and cleared his throat. Speaking once more to break the silence that fell between you two.

"I will not ask how you managed to send that note to me, Princess."

You let out a short laugh, blessing his ears with such a pure sound. A melody his heart cherished more than life itself.

"I have my ways, Officer Jeon."

He snorted at that, his frame relaxing in your presence as he leaned his side to the tree. His eyes never leave your own.

"Can't you call me by my name, Jungkook? Just once?"

Your plea made his eyes harden. You asked for the impossible but you desired more than oxygen to hear your name in his voice. That sweet voice that lived in your mind rent-free. That would console you in your memories when you were sad and would bring a smile upon your face in the most random times of the day.

"I cannot, Your Highness. It is against His Majesty's order to address you improperly."

You frowned.

"Even if I am asking you that?"

He sighed. A hand running though his dark hair. How you wished you could run your own hands through his locks. You could bet on your life they were as soft as cotton.

"I can't, princess. I'm sorry."

Silence stretched between you both. Somehow, the air felt colder, breathing got more challenging upon your rejected request.

"Why did you want to see me? Did you miss me that much?"

Jungkook said, trying to lighten the mood. A playful smirk over his lips. You looked up at him, your eyes as transparent as the lake's water; revealing your soul.

"I don't know if you'll want to speak to me after I say what's been on my mind for the last two days."

He lifted an eyebrow at your response. Curiosity got the best of him as he took a step away from the tree, now standing fully in front of you. The soft snow continues to dance around you.

"It can't be that bad, now can it? Just tell me, Princess."

You took a deep breath, your pulse quickening. This was it. The opportunity to speak your mind. To reveal your most intimate desire to him.

"I don't want to get married, Jungkook. I don't want to marry the Crown Prince. Jimin is worthy of the throne but... I don't love him."

He remained silent. His eyes turned from playful to serious the moment you mentioned your marriage. And he listened. He listened with all his attention to each word that left your lips.

"I can't marry a man I don't love. I want... I want to be with you. It is you who I want to marry, to spend the rest of my time with. Only you can make me happy, Jungkook and it breaks my heart every time I am reminded you won't be at the other end of the altar tomorrow."

Tears began to cloud your vision. But you tried to blink them back. This was what you had been trying to say to him. Yet your most desired thing in the word was still to get revealed.

"I want to leave, I want to leave this place, Kookie. I don't want to be a princess if it means I cannot be yours entirely. I burn for you, in every extent of the word. I cannot breathe when you are not near, I cannot think when I cannot see you close to me. You are everything to me."

A lump began forming in his throat. He felt exactly the same. Jungkook was glad you spoke of this first, you revealed your soul to him, your thoughts, your heart. You needed him. You lived with him, for him. It'd be a pointless life if you couldn't share it with him, he saw that now.

But the surprise when he heard you next couldn't be hidden even if he had wished to do so.

"I want to run away with you, Jungkook. "

---

"What are you doing outside at this hour, Jungkook?"

He untangled his hands from behind him and let them rest by his side, his eyes never leaving yours. Not knowing how his gaze alone was enough to make your heart thump wildly inside you.

"I couldn't sleep. I'll assume you are here because of the same reason."

You nodded, he took a step forward and your breath hitched in your throat. The action of inhaling was already painful as the air was cold, as cold as your neglected heart. Was he really going to take the risk of being this close to you? Another step. Perhaps he was. Then another. He certainly was.

It wasn't until he stood so close to you that you could feel his warm breath dust over your cold cheeks that you silently gasped and took a step back on instinct.

If anyone saw you both, there'd be problems. You didn't want that, not for Jungkook at least.

"And because I missed you. I had to see you. You do not only own this kingdom, you own my heart too and I couldn't live another day without seeing you, my Queen. For you are the one who rules my heart and soul."

You savoured the way his sweet words sprinkled your sour soul with sugar. It was delicious. To think that you were his, that he loved you, that he thought of you, dreamed of you. That he wanted you, perhaps even more strongly than how you wanted him.

You allowed yourself to drown in his sweet words. If only for a moment. Just a moment. A minute. A second would suffice. You didn't ask for more. You didn't want more. The only thing that you needed was his love and he gave it to you on a silver tray.

"Do you really want me that much?"

He nearly flinched at the way your voice was so soft, delicate even. Carrying emotions that were only reflected in your eyes.

"I want you with every fibre of my body and I can't stop thinking about that day. The day when you wanted to leave this place, I only want you to know that if the circumstances had been different, I would have escaped with you but taking you with me only meant death. I would rather die every day for not having you by my side than being the reason for your demise. I love you too much to do that to you."

You didn't realise you were crying until he reached his hand to wipe the tears but you took a step back. Hurt flashed in his eyes and that alone was enough for more tears to roll down your cheeks.

"You can't touch me, Jungkook. Not without the King's permission. Not even in an innocent way."

Your mumbled words reached his ears and he lowered his hand, he clenched it in a tight fist by his side but you didn't notice. Not when your eyes were glued to his own.

"And I understand why you didn't run away with me. I love you too much to get you killed. I'm so sorry I even proposed it on the first place."

His own eyes reflected the sadness in his soul in the form of tears. They glistened under the moonlight, little tears that he refused to let go; to set free.

"Do you really want me that much?"

A question you had already asked. A question he had already answered.

"Do you really want me that much, Jungkook? Even when I am another man's woman?"

He had to physically hold himself back so as to not take another step towards you. It pained him. His feet ached. His heart ached. It was painful to have you so close yet so far away at the same time yet he knew it had been like that since those warm summer days. Since the very beginning of the forbidden love story you developed with your royal guard.

Even when I am another man's woman...

Those words would repeat themselves in his head until the end of his days. A tear rolled down Jungkook's cheek, the chilly air hitting him and making him shiver.

You weren't his. Not anymore. You had never been his. At least not in this lifetime.

"You could never be tainted for me. You are and will always be perfect to hold my heart in your hands. And in our next life you will be mine, and if not in our next one or our next one after that. "

---

"Congratulations, Your Majesty."

Your steps halted when you heard his voice. A big banquet was held to announce your pregnancy to the village. Your father had come to bless you himself, he even told you he'd be staying during the last trimester of the pregnancy as he didn't want to miss the moment his grandchild were to be born.

You could only smile at that thought. But a gulp in your throat upon hearing that voice dissipated the thought, like fog when the sun came out. You turned around, eyes meeting with Jungkook's dark orbs.

A soft smile graced your lips yet he noticed how it didn't reach your eyes.

"Thank you, Jungkook."

There were so many things unsaid between you both. But have words ever been enough? He could see the sadness in your soul, the remorse, the longing and the love that existed in you. How Jungkook wished to go back to those summer days when everything was perfect, when you were happy along with him. When there existed no such barrier between you two of you being married to another man.

You could see it too, how his posture was tense, his eyes sharp with swirling storms of emotions in his dark gaze. You felt the yearning, the pain, the heartbreak from his part. And it crushed your heart even more for you knew he loved you but Jungkook couldn't step closer to you. Literally and figuratively.

He didn't know what else to say, all the courage he had managed to gather in the ceremony was gone now. Leaving him standing before you. His Queen; owner of his heart.

"I do not wish for this encounter to be like the last one, my queen. I only hope that you find the happiness you deserve for I cannot express how proud I am of you. Your child will resemble you in many ways, I am sure of it."

You wanted to run to him, hold his hand and wipe the tears that threatened to escape his eyes. But you could not. Dare not step such boundaries for his sake.

"You must find your happiness too, Jungkook. Live your life and live it right so that we can meet in our next lifetime."

---

A sharp pain made you gasp as your knees hit the floor, your dress puffing out around you. Jungkook was by your side the next second, concern was written all over his face while worry filled his eyes.

"Your Majesty, what's wrong? Please, talk to me."

You took a deep breath between your gasps and whimpers. Your hand grabbed his in your pain-induced mind, trying to ground yourself onto something, someone.

"I-It hurts... Jungkook, it h-hurts."

Your water broke the next second but you felt as if there was something wrong, this was not how a natural birth was supposed to start.

"Please... something's wrong. It- it hurts so much."

Tears gathered in your eyes as you tried to suppress the scream that threatened to escape your throat. You felt him let go of your hand, positioning his arms beneath your kneeling figure only to be lifted by him the next second.

Your arms circled his neck on instinct as you curled yourself in his hold. Jungkook began walking back to the palace at a fast pace, the weight of your body grounded his mind while at the same time numbed his senses. If you hadn't been in so much pain at that moment you would have noticed how his hands were trembling.

"Hold on, my Queen. You'll be fine, I'm here. It's alright."

He cradled you against his chest firmly, not wanting to let you go ever again now that you were in his arms. His heart feared for your safety, you were only eight months pregnant by now, he knew the risks of pregnancy and Jungkook knew he wouldn't be able to live if something were to happen to you.

Tears soaked his robes, your hand fisted his collar. Your small whimpers were like poisonous needles piercing his heart. It hurt. It pained him to see you in so much distress.

"Hold on, love. Please."

---

"You called for me, Your Majesty."

He bowed down at you and you sighed, realising how much you hated when he bowed at you when you'd go on your knees with only a word falling from his lips. He had that power over you. That way to command you. To make you feel.

"Jungkook."

The man before you lifted his gaze and your eyes met his once more. Had it been within any other circumstances, you'd have smiled and ran toward him. How you wish you could embrace him, how you wish you could kiss him and declare your love for him. How you wish you could love him freely.

You were sitting between blankets and cushions, taking rest after the hard labour. The prince lied next to you as he slept soundly while being wrapped up in luxurious fabric.

"I haven't seen you in a while."

He smiled. Not that smile that reached his eyes or that warmed your insides. It made you shiver with the sadness within it. Like a cold breeze on a winter day.

"I was told you were to rest, my Queen. Captain Min ordered me to give you some space, at least until you are feeling better."

You smiled, gesturing for him to sit in front of you, which he did. A moment of silence passed between you both. Your gaze lingered on his handsome features, drawing a map of him in your mind.

"I missed you."

He sighed at your whispered confession. Those words clawed at his heart with nothing but a heavy guilt that existed within him.

"My Queen... please."

You took a deep breath at his pleading, his begging. You looked aside as your heart constricted in your chest.

"Forgive me."

He looked at you with eyes full of emotions you weren't quick enough to grasp. Why must love hurt so much? Jungkook shifted his gaze from your figure, focusing on the little bundle where the prince, your son, slept peacefully.

"Congratulations on your baby. May prince Ha-joon live a long and happy life with his family."

---

"Kook!"

Ha-joon had said. Your hands felt cold against the warm cup, your soul froze when you looked up. There he was. Jeon Jungkook. You hadn't seen him in days. And before today there were only small peaks here and there followed by short greetings.

Jungkook turned to look at you, your eyes met his from across the garden. You felt your breath hitch in your throat at the mere sight of him. Your hands trembled around the cup, forcing you to put it away.

He bowed down at you slowly yet his eyes never left yours. Emotions invaded your body as you stood up from your chair. Hoseok noticed your actions and sat up, Ha-joon left his side and ran with his little legs where Jungkook was.

Your royal guard smiled down at your son and Hoseok stood up from the ground, walking the steps to where you stood.

"Your Majesty, are you alright? You look pale, should I walk you to your chambers?"

But you shook your head, your eyes following Jungkook's figure as he approached you with Ha-joon by his side. The little prince was telling him something that you couldn't hear and he smiled widely. Flashed him that bunny smile you loved so much and had missed just as fiercely.

Jungkook bowed down at you once he stood in front of you. Ha-joon looked up at the man next to him and mimicked his actions. Your heart clenched at the sight. Having the man you loved and your child who was your husband's son before you was too much for your heart.

It clenched inside you, it burned, it ached.

"Your Majesty."

Jungkook acknowledged you. You nodded softly at him and he rose to his full height. Ha-joon doing the same.

"Kook! Play, together."

Hoseok watched the interaction from where he stood. His own heart clenched at the sight of your hidden pain. You have always been an open book for your best friend. You had been able to hide your love from your father, even from your husband but not from Hoseok. He had known you his entire life. He knew you, he knew the core of your heart. He knew your unspoken words. He knew.

"Only if the queen allows it, my prince."

Jungkook's eyes found yours once more. A sad smile painted his lips. Ha-joon was a clear resemblance of you but also of his father and Jungkook was reminded once more of what he had lost the day you married Jimin. Of that dream that he wished would become his reality was instead a mountain of ashes. Of burnt dreams and wishes.

You smiled tightly at the pair in front of you, not wanting to deny sweet Ha-joon of his free days and innocent happiness.

"You may play, but please be careful."

---

"Jungkook."

His name coming from your lips was the sweetest melody he has ever heard. He had missed it. He had missed you. His eyes locked with yours and he nearly gasped at the sight of you laying on the soft bedding, your skin was paler than usual, your eyes were tired and your body was beyond weakened.

"Your Majesty."

He acknowledged you. Bowing softly at you without tearing his gaze from you. He saw you shift in your position, laying on your left side so you could see him properly. You smiled and in an instant his dark world was lightened by your existence. 

"Come closer, Jungkook. Come here."

Your hand extended towards him as if trying to reach him. He couldn't hold himself back any longer upon your innocent request as his legs moved with a mind of their own. Nearly jumping until he was kneeling by your side, his hand holding yours ever so softly.

“I heard… I heard that you are sick, my Queen. Is it true?”

Jungkook asked almost shyly. Not meeting your eyes as his own gaze was fixed on your joined hands. 

“It is.”

He sighed at your response. Feeling how his heart clenched within him. Tears watered his dark eyes and a lump grew in your throat at the sight of his sadness. 

“Don’t cry, Jungkook. Don’t waste your tears over me.”

He looked up at you, his expression hurt with your words. A frown was between his brows, eyes watered with his materialised sadness and a soul that he could no longer carry on his own. 

“How can you say that to me? I am dying with you, my Queen. Only you are capable of causing me the greatest pain yet it is you who eradicates it as well.”

You squeezed his hand, feeling your chest aching. Your mind was shutting down as you gazed at the man you loved with your entire being. 

“Forgive me.”

He shook his head, refusing to let his tears roll down his cheeks as his eyes roamed over your face as if trying to memorise all your little details in his mind. 

“It is I who should beg for forgiveness. I cannot protect you from this, I have failed you. I cannot prevent you from leaving me.”

A tear left the corner of your eye as you looked at him with so many unsaid things and raging emotions you were never able to pour out. It was too much. Too much love. Too much longing. Too much sadness. Too much anger. Your heart couldn’t take it any more.

“Maybe you can’t make me stay, but you gave me the opportunity of knowing what it was to love. Even when we couldn’t be together in the end, I still love you. I will always love you, Jungkook. In each… in each lifetime.”

—

A choked gasp left your lips as the memory dissipated from your mind like morning fog during a summer day. You didn't even realise you were crying until you sniffled and your hand came up to your face and your skin was wet with your own liquid sadness.

What kind of dream was this? What kind of cruelty had fate bestowed upon you? What kind of crime did you commit to feel this pain? You had loved, you had been loved only for it to melt like ice in those warm summer days when everything was perfect. You couldn't help the sob that escaped your lips as the realisation hit you:

You were the queen of the portrait. A representation of your old soul trapped in your past life as the unfortunate lover.

It wasn't a dream. It was a memory. Your memories from your past life and that love you were once denied to have. 

Hoseok was nearing the hall of ancient artefacts when his phone rang and he stopped in his tracks. Jungkook halted beside him and waited in silence.

"I'm sorry, I have to take this. I left Miss (y/n) at the end of this hall. You shouldn't have difficulty finding her."

Jungkook bowed softly, his warm eyes meeting the ones of Hoseok as he spoke in his professional voice once more.

"Don't worry, Mr. Jung. I'll do my best to assist her."

Hoseok nodded before he accepted the call and walked away, leaving Jungkook to sigh to himself before he ventured on the journey of finding the eccentric politician's daughter.

He walked among the centuries of history around him, through the halls that held art and a lost empire through time. Something about his line of work had always intrigued him. It made him wonder just how insignificant life was. Years, decades and centuries of history, of people that once walked on this Earth were now kept in glass boxes, a strange way of trying to preserve what should have died years ago.

It made him think about all the lives, all the deaths, all the heartbreaks from the past. All those untold stories buried in time. In every aspect, in every lifetime, in every way. It was simply melancholic to acknowledge all the history around him.

Jungkook walked, allowing his mind to wander as he thought of the beautiful politician's daughter. He thought of the times he had seen her, seen you in important events. Always looking so beautiful, always captivating the media. Always perfect, always next to your powerful father.

He reached the end of the hall but there was no sight of you. A sudden tightness gripped his heart fiercely, as if he were in pain, as if someone clutched his heart in its claws and it bled out.

As if on instinct, Jungkook walked to the royal hall. His feet moved on their own, his mind spiralled with all kinds of thoughts. With dream-like memories that he would have sworn were from one of those historical dramas he knew were popular among the hopeless romantics.

The sound of a sob echoed over the walls and it was as painful as being stabbed on the heart. He turned around with urgency only to spot you looking at a painting, your back was facing him while your left hand covered your mouth.

"Miss (y/n)?"

Your eyes widened when you heard that voice. That voice that was lost in your thoughts. That voice that was from your forgotten memories. That same voice that had broken your heart was now stitching it back together.

You turned around, your misty eyes met his in a dance of emotions you were, for once, able to dance along. Pink petals from the cherry blossoms in the garden behind fell slowly and when your eyes locked with Jungkook's he saw it as well.

He saw everything. All those memories, all those experiences. He saw his love. His sadness. His life. His reason for living. His flower. His darling. All in ancient history.

Jungkook saw his past life with you.

Like a movie in front of his eyes. A dream he wanted to reach. A memory he had promised to not forget but time was cruel and it was buried in the depths of his soul.

"Jungkook? It's you, isn't it?"

Your voice brought him back from his forgotten memories. He looked at you with a familiarity and a strangeness in his eyes. It was enough to make tears roll down your cheeks while his own eyes watered at the impossible sight before him.

"...princess? H-how?...."

You sobbed and he walked toward you. Unable to resist the sight of your tears. Perhaps this was the first time he met you in this lifetime but your souls have been in love for centuries. Your heart hadn't changed, his feelings remained the same. Love cannot be killed, not even by death.

He stood at arms length, eyes gazing down at you with the urge to know the truth. To know if you were that missing piece in his life. To know if this lifetime was worth-living.

"You found me. You said you'd find me."

Was this a dream? Was this a false memory? Was this real? He deeply needed for it to be real. Jungkook felt whole when he looked down at you. As if you were the missing piece for this puzzle called life. And you? You didn't know if he still wanted you. If Jungkook was your Jungkook. Your lost lover. Your forbidden romance. Your unfinished story.

"In every lifetime, princess."

His hand flexed next to him with the urge to touch you. To hug you and never let you go. To kiss you. To finally kiss you after all those denied moments he had before. To love you like he had dreamt long ago.

You wiped your cheeks with the back of your hand and something on your wrist caught his attention. It was a subtle glimpse of a red string around your wrist and he knew, in that moment he knew.

"You still wear it huh?"

A smile appeared on your lips at the same words he had spoken to you. A long time ago. Once upon a dream. In another lifetime. And the same answer is what he got. The same words that you had replied to him. The answer to his lovely sentence.

"I never took it off."

He was referring to your red bracelet. Something you remember always having, never truly knowing how you got to possess such a beautiful item but it simply felt right to wear it. So you did, you never took it off. As if it was engraved in your skin, almost like Jungkook's name was written in your soul and his whispered love was locked away in your heart.

"Can... Can I hold you?"

There was desperation in his voice. It sounded almost bitter that it pulled on your heartstrings. You nodded almost immediately. Burning just as him to feel him once more, to touch the man you had missed for centuries. To be held by your one and only love.

You were in his arms the next second. His hands pressed you against his chest as your own circled his waist. A long lost hug. A missed love. A romance out of time. But it was a timeless love nonetheless.

Something clicked inside you once you were held by Jungkook. As if your heart had been filled with his life, as if your broken soul was stitched back with just his simple touch. As if memories had been unlocked after your skin touched his.

"I missed you. I missed you so much, queen of my heart."

His hold on you tightened and you couldn't help but bury your face in his chest. How he had wished to do this in his first lifetime. How he wished he had been able to hold you like this. How he wished he had had you before just like this.

All the pain was gone. The tears were dried by his love. His hands held your heart so softly and purely you didn't want to part from him. You couldn't. You wouldn't. You wouldn't let go of him like that once more. You weren't going to lose him again. Not after all that pain, all that heartbreak, all those tears and all that yearning. Not again. Never again.

"I missed you too. So much, so much..."

Jungkook rested his chin at the top of your head, closing his eyes as he held you softly but firmly. It made him wonder just how much time you had been robbed in your past life. He realised just how evil fate had been to break you both like that. To separate two lovers is the worst cruelty of this fallen world.

But now, those cold days are over. Winter had passed. Even after centuries of living buried in the freezing snow, warmth had finally touched his heart. The soft rays of the sun were melting his once frozen soul. Your love did that. Only with you was he able to live in warmth. Only with you existed that flame in his heart that kept him alive.

You looked up at him and he met your gaze midway. It was magical. To look at the eyes you had unknowingly missed so much. How your soul was mourning the loss of Jungkook, how your life was always grey and cold was now warm and coloured in pink. Like the petals falling behind you.

One of his hands cradled your cheek and you smiled. Your heart was beating wildly in your heart at the proximity, at the love, at the emotions that came flooding like a waterfall from the sky.

You stood on your tippy toes only to press your lips against his. It was soft, delicate. Like a spring breeze. A kiss full of love. A healing kiss. A kiss that should have happened a long time ago. Jungkook kissed you back, burning at the feeling of your soft lips against his.

He tilted his head, deepening the kiss and you sighed, tightening your grip around his waist as he poured all those long lost emotions into that kiss. A kiss he had wished he could give you centuries ago. All the love, all the yearning, all the heartbreak, all the feelings of missing you, missing your warmth, your love, your touch, your existence were poured into that kiss.

A sealed kiss of timeless love.

"Don't ever leave me again."

He whispered against your lips. voice desperate with the promise of your love. Of your devotion. Of eternity.

"I wouldn't dream of it."

Your answer was said in a soft voice, only meant for Jungkook to hear. He pressed his forehead against yours, looking into your eyes as he felt the memories slowly come back to him. During those golden summer days, rainy autumn evenings and cold winter nights. Everything about his life with you came back like a soft spring drizzle over his soul.

Perhaps fate had been cruel when he separated you from your Jungkook with death. But it now gave you the opportunity with your rightful lover. That soulmate you were destined to love since the very beginning of life.

Through life and death, only time gets in between. Through tears and pain, it is love that keeps the hope alive and through silent feelings and absent minds; it is time that keeps them together in a dance with a melody only meant for the tangled lovers to hear.

In every lifetime, in every way, in every universe and in every season. Love is stronger than death. 

February/16/2024

~Masterpost

Please let me know your thoughts in the comments, darlings!

**I do NOT give my consent for this or any of my works to be posted or translated into any other platforms or languages. 

[istherewifiinhell]

scheduled hopefully for appropriate insanity causing hours

304 cant believe everyone in gin.tama just lives like this. the. speech convictions dramatic childhood flashbacks promises lifestyle. not just for main characters i guess (is this guy the shogun.....)

yay yay yippppppe the guys. yay ayay yippeee flashbacks. DONT DIE.

kaaaaaaruga. always suspected. if i understood her more id be obsessed. Confirmed. 2 second in pulling that. i was waiting for ur weakness bullshit. BEAT UP UR OLDER BROTHER. (<- comma. gay? ) kagura born on this planet.... half a second of taka.gin grappling could sustain me for a life time (gin puts his hands on him to throw him) hey fellas i know this is the Sword Penis show but have u considered going at it meg.op. style. for me?

omg baby flashback leftest infighting. sugi ur not the most oppressed person in the world u know. well u would say that scholarship baby zura. diddddddd they shape each others ideologies like that. where they reading theory together as shitty little kids -> well prob not this show but lets indulge

oh right gin former. ghost eating thing. showing up to the school yard beef with a real sword.

HI SHOU.YOU. HI. his little pogchamps

loveeee how they do the blood in this show looks like velvet, alll dark shimmery. also the editing. wooooo.

bushido speech. this shit is cool actually. also leon.ardo the ninja turtle would love it (03)

zura giving him fooooood oh no. little. verbal redirects of kindness transparency

NOOOO SUGI beats gin for the first time clip NO NONO SUGI LAUGHING SLOW MO CLIP (already tearing up)

ahhhh the position of the school and the attitudes of the backgrounder kids actually very affecting and interesting isnt it.... shou.youuuuuuuu the man(thing) that u are....

ep. 305

theeeeee babies. the babies.... the babiest guys. so so charmedddd by them charmeddd again by how. unexpected? maybe. sugi and zura stick together.... the remainers..... kidtoki why are uuuu such a perfectly cromulent. thing. little. video game character ass look. perfect. shitty cool affect. wanna pinch his little cheeks 10/10 letting this kid be the leader of the playground gang.

shou.youuuuuu shou.youuuuuu. such a. believably. man with his complexities but hes being around children so (friendly voice) 'thats right. what do you think' sooooo. yeah immediately believes 100 thousand percent he means everything he says so truly yeah i probably would get. horrible weird trauma give the givens too

THROW THE SWORDS AWAY YAYYYYYY. flashback. ohhhhhhh sugi. i little. weird bitch (said in. desperate scrambling fondness. i love the things that are wrong with him)

gin boots are so hot...

SOMEONE INTIMATE TO CUT AND CURSE!!!!!!! ohhhhh babes (what could i possible say abt it that hasnt been said) well i hope they fuck themselves to death about it

fightscene styles gt vs tf <- place holder i left for myself. that will be extricated to a diff post.

gin scrambling in the blood and dirt under all the promises he has given his loved one. YES BABE. thats exactly what ur supposed to be going

ohhhhhh godddddddd the fucking beheading scene back to back from both of their perspectives oh jesus fuck oh hell. im going to. cut and curse at someone else. i guess. THANKS HIM. THANKS HIM FOR IT. (crying) cool. thats normal. i feel normal about the man (shou.you)(gin)

what the fuck. oboro real? thats fucked up. THATS WHO TAKES THE EYE? (knew this techincally) WHO THE FUCK IS OBORO. (am seeing him) why is he a grown ass man i thought he was a kicked dog of a boy.

SUGI. SUGI YOU DUMB BITCH (loves him)(loves intractable positions)(loves the emotional incommunicability of reality)(loves an emotional confliction you can never resolve and just have to die about) he did it to save u fucking losers. cause his fucking teacher dad man asked him too. and thanked him for the service. ohhhhh u miserable fucks

why did you SAVE US. say it like that. damn.

oh youd do anything. youd kill shou.you. youd kill sugi himself. just to save the student your teacher loved. okay. okay. jesus. so you are the same. so your exactly the same person. your saying things that dont even make sense youve both lost any plane of reality cause you cant separate the things youve lost from the things you have. the very people youve saved are now reflected in those youve lost and youll both kill them to keep them alive. okay. no yeah thats fine cool lol.

(i guess sugis version would technically be said in reverse, you cant separate what youve have from what youve lost and the very person you lost are reflect in the one who saved you. and to keep him alive (crying gin.toki) youd kill him)

and MOST IMPORTANTLY. because you are the same person. you see yourself in him and him in yourself and u cant figure out where you end and he begins and your diametric opposed mirror reflection goals that lead you to taking. the exact same actions. okay. lol. OKAY. lol.

WHO THE FUCK IS OBORO. GET OUT OF HERE FREAK. i was talking.

id alt. im always saying this. or even just. Why is Oboro.

ep 306

heyyyyyy kagura! hiiiiii. youre not dead yay! hi. older brother. youre still here.

squints ohhhh these are. the cops? mayo man and. is this the other canonical gay sex haver or. (only has the normalest of second hand knowledge)

'if im just gonna end up as fertilizer anyway, i dont care if my path there is paved by roses or thorns.' damn dude. get out of the fucking. whatever ur in. and go become a metal music lyricist. what the fuck

oh shin.pachi. ur in this show.

googling. cant figure it out. whoever this green zombie bitch is sounds familiar. wish he had a name or smth.

damn there really is space in this show huh. thats crazy thats crazy. planet of the big hats vs planet of. umbrellas? anyone wanna watch space military anime.....

shogun 'i will protect the country were my friends live' what kagura said abt the planet. 'and to fulfill that goal, you'll even endure the deaths of your friends here?' gestures at the shou.you trolley problem. wow. that is tidy. good job recursive gin.tama

why do you grip that broken sword. you killed your teacher. you battled your friend. - my enemy is right here. WEVE NEVER CHANGED. weve all been fighting our own selves. ill stop him. even if it means having to kill him. but im also the one who understands how he feels better than anyone else

ohhhhhh gin. tama. ohhhhh gin. toki. i love u. i love u so much for just. saying insane thesis shit. like. yeah! YEAH OKAY! yeah thats. making out sloppy style with the narrative theming <- what do i mean by that.

be it killing him or protecting him. their both my job (gets so hard i pass out)

gin: says the most homoerotic twisted identity shit ive ever heard in my life that rests solely on. how unextractable gin. and sugi both are from each other due to. their love of shou.you. and thus. reflectionally. each other. oboro: his students are burning with hatred. <- IS HE STUPID?

and second question. upon reflection, looking at this grown ass man thing. do we have a classic ninja turtles adult beefing with teenagers situation. please tell me yes i will roast this man to shit.

(sugi also say gay twisted identity shit) [impact image font] we are. we are going to beat you to death.

[ending bumper comedy thing] u cannot deny their commitment to the bittism. need this shit for my annoying nitpick continuity fandoms. yeah no it was cause he pooped his pants. he shitted and farted.